#probably??? right???? i just dont remember???

[amarayys]

DRDT episode 13 theory. So.

so i was meant to be making a general episode 13 analysis video. but um. i dont have the energy for that. so what am i gonna do instead? TALK ABOUT TERUKO try find out wtf david is doing in this scene

SO. time to find out what possibly the FRUITIEST look ever from david means!!! disclaimer:

I suck at theories. And formatting. Yipee.

I'm painfully unfunny so excuse any dumbass jokes i make.

I'm going to find any and all excuses to rant abt teruko. be prepared...............

4. I may repeat myself a lot. Forgive me if it sounds really repetative... :( 5. Any points surrounded by - these things - are just things that are unlikely, but I think should still be adressed.

So, the context of these images is Teruko revealing "her secret"; You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them.

(pls excuse the shitty quality.) She has to be either lying or MAYBE unsure about her secret. Here's why: 1. She had a conversation with Whit (and technically charles, but he was just listening in) about her family. She reveals that she's never known her parents and grew up in an orphanage. She did grow up with her biological brother, but he was adopted by another family when Teruko was five, and she says she doesn't remember him much.

2. The wording of the secret is quite specific - You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. Like I've mentioned, she's never known her parents. Even if she *somehow* knew they were dead, why would she blame herself for it? I could see it maybe working in some way, but the next bit disproves it - SIBLINGS. Teruko has only mentioned having one sibling, and this wording is plural. This secret cannot be hers, she only has one brother. - To add on to this

2.5. Maybe one could argue that siblings and parents could be her friends/people she considered family in the orphanage she grew up in. However, the specific wording of parents and siblings, instead of just using the word "family", makes me think otherwise. - Okay, so let's dissect what this means. - I think if maybe she was unaware/TRULY thought that this was her secret, the only point that would support it is 2.5. Maybe she considered people she grew up with in the orphanage her "parents" or siblings", but its just not very likely. While I wouldn't be surprised if Teruko blew up an orphanage or something (/hj) , I think it's a stretch to say this secret is referring to that. - With that out the way, we come to one conclusion - Teruko is lying about secret. "Amari, we know that already, can we move on??????????" yeah yeah whatever i may have just wanted to rant about teruko. MOVING ON. So, what is Teruko's secret? It's pretty wildly agreed upon that Teruko's secret is the one regarding the killing game, which David recieved - "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault."

We think that this is Teruko's secret because: 1. She's the only one that fits it smh. /hj 2. The guy at the start of the prologue (who is probably xander but that is a WHOLE other theory you can find here ) mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki (how DARE they) after talking about ending the killing game.

My interpretation of this is that Teruko is the reason the killing game is actually happening, though I doubt she's aware of this/the mastermind (or she could be, idk??). A really good theory that I feel explains what I mean by Teruko causing the KG but not being the mastermind is the time loop theory which is linked here. (accirax i love you for this theory /p) Obviously, this lines up with "The killing game is your fault." 3. David gives her THE LOOK right after she "admits" her secret, which sort of maybe kind of implies that he knows she's lying, which he does, since he has the secret. - As for the remaining secret: Xander's secret (which we assume min recieved) is the one Teruko claimed to have:

"You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Why do I think this? 1. In Xander's bonus video, it is VERY heavily implied that he has survivor's guilt as well as outright confirmed his family is dead. Go check it out for the full context.

2. Xander's secret message on the DRDT tumblr is the definition of survivors guilt. Really self explanatory, huh?

3. XANDER ACTUALLY HAS MORE THAN 1 FUCKING SIBLING. anyway. okay, this is getting a little confusing to remember, so here: Killing game: Teruko's secret, recieved by David. Survivor's guilt: Xander's secret, recieved by Min. (all remaining secrets remain the same.) MOTIVE

So, why would Teruko lie about her secret? I mean, shouldn't she just point it out? And why didn't David point it out? - 1. Teruko is aware that her secret is the killing game one and is lying because she's the mastermind or something. We see her thoughts, so I really doubt it. To further disprove this theory: Teruko has stated like 15 times (/ex) that she doesn't know which secret is hers, due to her having too many secrets. So, yeah, pretty unlikely she knows which secret's hers. Discard this theory. -

2. a) Teruko doesn't know her secret, but knows it's probably bad, and therefore doesn't want to share it, so she lied. Pretty straightforward, really. Now, for the theory that I think is most likely: 3. Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again.

We know that's she's accidentally led the trial in the wrong direction twice now (motive secrets, time of murder) Also, this is the most in character.

As for David: A. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to cause distrust and just generally fuck Teruko over. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. B. David knows her secret, but earlier, he and Teruko made a pact to keep it hidden. However, since he's a little bitch boy (/j), he's going to reveal it anyway, either post trial or in a future daily life. - Just to add on to this point ^ - I know Teruko's protag and we see her thoughts and all, but Kaede happened, so I don't think this is out of the question. - I think the most likely combination is point 3. and point A. : Teruko's lying about her secret to avoid the trial heading off topic. David isn't calling her out because he wants to use it in the future to throw suspicion onto Teruko and cause havoc.

SO. Let's recap! Secrets: Teruko: "How could I even select what secret to be your motive? Just about everything you've done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault." Received by David. Xander: "You're constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn't matter that it's not your fault, just that you didn't go with them." Received by Min. Rest remain the same as canon. Why can't Teruko's secret be about her family? 1. Teruko never knew her parents, and never mentions them being dead. 2. Teruko hasn't seen her brother since she was 5, and she never mentions him being dead, just adopted. 3. The wording of the secret refers to siblingS, which is plural. Teruko has only one sibling. 4. The secret fits Xander much better - His secret quote is the defintion of survivors guilt, and his bonus episode heavily implies he has survivors guilt, and it is confirmed his family died in the same bonus episode. Why is Teruko's secret about the killing game?

• The guy at the start of the prologue mentions having to kill Teruko Tawaki after talking about ending the killing game. This implies Teruko is the cause of the killing game, whether on purpose or not. Motive for lying: Teruko doesn't know which secret is hers, but she knows neither of her secrets are the ones left unrevealed. She knows somebody is lying about a secret - but she's come to the conclusion that secrets are irrelevant to the trial and murder, so she's lying about her secret to avoid everyone getting off track once again. David knows her secret, but keeps it hidden in order to use it in the future to turn everyone against Teruko and just generally cause distrust in the group. He plans to reveal it either post trial or in a future daily life. **btw, just a fun afterthought - i think either whit or charles will eventually point out the conversation regarding teruko's unbringing and how it contradicts her secret - and david will use that opportunity to reveal teruko's secret. ANDDDD that's it! feel free to correct/add on any points you'd like. this took AGES but i had so much fun!!! i love you drdt. (ESPECIALLY TERUKO.)

[neonfretra]

an open letter to the boy i sat next to in junior high art class

youre missing a tooth, closer to the side of your mouth than the front. said you lost it playing hockey.

it was a first semester assignment. i did something red and blue with color pencils. you wrote in big letters with the soft drawing pencils, deep blue with the hardness embossed in gold like real artists used, probably. you pressed down hard enough that it carved dents into the paper.

you tried to erase it. the lines didnt even smear.

i dont remember much about you (or much of those years, for the matter). not your name, the position you played, what you drew in art. you sat on my right. your face was round with boyhood, pink in the cheeks. i remember your voice. i dont remember anything you said.

i only saw you in passing the years after.

when i still had hopes in my higher education, the nearest universitys mens ice hockey team didnt show up for the open house. their table was empty, sandwiched between other athletics. they had biking, helmet mounted like a skull.

you probably went far. the kids in sports always go far.

i watch prospects drop their gloves in grainy video. when you throw enough punches, the bones in your fist mold to the shape of it. theyre just kids.

the track team runs in the summer. its a locked car hot out there. the girl that sat in front of me complained that she was tired. she didnt ask me for advice i dont follow. just kids.

the newest draft class was born in 2006. the newest class of our junior high was born in 2014. kids.

how did you lose your tooth?

i looked up your name on the wikipedia page your draft year. it returned no matches.

i hope you made it.

i hope you didnt.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

TW: SENSITIVE TOPICS??

Because Color canonically almost died. (if it weren't for Gaster having to pick up the broken pieces that were left of him when trying to escape the void) do you think Color would be this desperate and suicidal for freedom? Has he gained his kindness to save Killer from knowing how it feels to be caged in pits of despair and darkness?

-COUGHZ.. one of your mutuals:3 (GUESS WHICH ONE!!)

i cannot guess because i cannot handle being publicly wrong and also embarrassed ever. /hj

but i am also not good at remembering moot names except for a few, and also i have a moot with a typing quirk where the ‘s’ in words are replaced with Z’s. Like thiz. so that stands out.

but i can only think of 3 moots rn who talk about color as much as i do (theres probably more but these r all i can remember). those are Ozzie, toffee, and ano. but i ultimately have no way of knowing 😔. I don’t appreciate being put on the spot like this, anon. /lh

and i dont think he gained kindness from this exactly, but rather his experience gave him first hand understanding of the feelings—he can tell when someone is only doing or saying they want something because it’ll appease others, convincing themselves they want it too, and so that makes everything okay.

i think he is always pretty kind, even without understanding something or someone, but his understanding and his perseverance and patience in trying to understand is what stands out to killer particularly. his kindness also stands out a lot too, but so does the sense of intense injustice color feels on his behalf.

so i think its a mix of personal understanding, perseverance in trying to understand when he fails to initially, kindness, and his sense of justice (such as his belief that another’s autonomy should always be respected and protected) that spurs him into trying to find a right way to approach killer. his bravery to keep trying and integrity are spurred on by the more he starts to understand, and relate.

so i think that even if color couldn’t personally relate, he’d still try to save killer—because he can see how it feels, all over his face. he can see how his words do not match his actions do not match his facial expressions. but it’s because he knows how it feels, has experience with it, that he gets anywhere with killer at all. because that understanding signaled safety for stage 1.

which was another big hang up killer had with swap—that swap didn’t, couldn’t, know what he feels, despite how swap claimed to know how killer “doesn’t want this” and “wants to saved.”

because how in the world could swap know these things about killer, when he himself doesn’t even know what he wants. color understands this, and how it feels—and he doesn’t approach killer from a “i know what’s good for you” angle.

he’s able to see that killer doesn’t truly want what he says he does in Stage 2 (that he’s not happy with what he currently has and what he currently does, despite all his claims about the fun he’s having and the player wants it so he wants it, and how nightmare “asked” him to, and he wants this he wants this and every single rational he can come up with that’ll make it all okay and something he chose to do rather than something he couldn’t even say no to) and he attempts to get him to admit that and be honest with himself for once, but he doesn’t ever say killer has to do this, or do that, or think this. just that he should stop hurting himself for others—something color knows all too well.

it is killer that asks to be saved, because he wants to be. and he tells color this because he can tell that color understands—which is also probably the reason why killer kept trying to push him away.

why he keeps pushing him away in stage 2–because killer definitely wouldn’t like someone trying to understand him when he’s like that. his whole thing is trying to remain unpredictable, and not give anyone any power or control over him—especially not over his mind.

he just needs awhile to realize and trust that color has no intentions to cause him harm, and isn’t trying to hurt him by “taking away” what he knows and rather it is what he knows that is hurting him.

Alexa, play Hey Ya! by OutKast.

off topic, but i love that color never rushed killer to make any type of choice—just was there to help, support, and challenge him. make him aware how the situation he’s in now isn’t helping him at all and it doesn’t have to be that way, that theres always something new out there and he’s willing to show him—however long it takes, whenever he’s ready, if killer ever wants it. that this life isn’t the only option left available to him.

[nadianova]

if im an artist with no following + want to make games for $ (i want to do game dev for work) shld i release games for free at first so ppl have a Taste (idk if ppl will buy even if it looks good n idk hiw to advertise. i hav no monies or job rip

idk really if your games look good and are good then ask for money but if you havent made games before and will be doing amateur work youre probably gonna get better results releasing free stuff for your first things.

if youre going to make eroges like me i thikn itch io is a good place if your game has a good look and you tag it with all the nsfw tags i use like porn and adult and if you relaly wanna be bold tag your transgirl game as futanari for free tourist traffic.. it should help with building audience

ultimately i dont think its about if its paid or free when getting started its more like.. dont spend 5 years working on your first project. aim to do small ones like jam games that take a month or two to make. then you can release a pay what you want free game and a paid game and see how it compares and then use that experience as your information going forwards

also if you're doing free games i thikn pay.what-you-want option with some bonus stuff like for example an artbook like how i do it is a pretty good way to approach free games as well. i dont see it as often as id expect given how nice it is

if you end up making money from your games eventually i think the best thing to invest in terms of games is to pay a good artist to make you nice looking sprites it helps with people taking your game more seriously be it a paid game or a free one

maqrketing is kindof annoying but I'm terminally online and cant stop posting so the tried and true method of posting porn and shitposts about my game on social media is what i do

but seriously IMO the most important thing is just that dont spend years making some bbig project in the dark and start with something small first to get more familiar with your skills and audience and what you even want to do first. even if your big project ends up being amazing its a huge risk and time investment.. it works for some peopel but theres many people who it wont work for

finishign games is hard so imo the most valuable skill is to just finish something like put aside some time in your life for 2 months for a jam and complete a game. if you can do that then it means you can do games and experiment what is the right play to do if your goal is to make money

idk how much money here truly is to be made with tiny indie games but itch io is good for porn and if you wanna sell out make some koikatsu waifu game for cis man audience and release a 0.1b version and put up a patreon looool <3 remember, no ntr. men are afraid of ntr

[bi-demon-ium]

just a vent dont mind me

thinking about like. you know like. when you do a lot for someone you love, or just in general, like, you put in a lot of effort into something, into helping someone or making them happy, and like. you do it because you love them, or because you care about them, or just because you want to help, or because it's right, or because you just like making people happy. and that's great, that's fine, like. you really aren't doing it for something. like you don't expect anything back. they certainly don't owe you anything, they didn't ask for it, and you wanted to do it, and you'd do it again. will do it again. but sometimes it kind of--like. unfairly, selfishly, it kind of hurts that no one does the same for you. like. it feels like maybe you're not worth it. and that's silly, like. you didn't do it so that they'd do something for you, and you offered, you did it without being asked, you did it because you wanted to, and that's--that's fine. they don't owe you anything. no one owes you anything. it's petty to think i did this for you, why can't you do this for me? it's selfish. and that's fine. like. it's fine. like. it's not that you want to stop doing nice things--even if the petty thought occurs to you, the second it actually comes time, you'll immediately give in because you want them to be happy, you like doing nice things, even at cost of your preciously rare time and energy, and that's okay! they don't ask--or maybe they do, but they fully would take no for an answer and not be upset about it, and you know it's your choice--you just do it because you want to. but is it so selfish to just. wish someone would want to for you, for once? without being asked? to want to be the one taken care of? to be the one someone cooks for just because, or takes care of when you're sick, or someone goes out of their way to watch something with you even if they're not interested, or like. just. anything. anything like that. just because it's you, or just because they can, and it's nice. is that so bad. why does it always feel like you put more in than they do. why do you feel bad about it when they didn't ask you to, you're the one putting that in, and they don't owe you something equal just because you decided to go overboard. like. it's just. being too much, i guess. wanting too much. i dunno. might cry a bit.

......anyway, [bill wurtz voice] you could make a blorbo fanfic out of this

yes, yes. projecting onto blorbos. That Will Fix Me.

so if you see some extremely specific angst fic from me later, [rainbow star goes across the screen] Now You Know

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[vigilskeep]

lots of people reacting with surprise to the “zevran is 25” post. to be clear iirc this is world of thedas canon so a) i would not expect it to be obvious to anyone who hasnt read WOT vol2 or obsessively googled things and b) i still consider WOT kind of wishy washy canon where like it’s basically fine if you made a different assumption and prefer that. that being said i think being 25 only adds to zevran’s character and that people would write more accurate zevrans if they kept that number in mind

[garbeanery]

Kinda saw a post Abt how Hannibal is the only one who loves will for everything he is but I don't really agree with that. I think he loved the idea of what Will could be. He liked the darker instincts Will could foster, and I think that he believes that's who Will truly is but. I don't really agree with that, Will can be good. Maybe not kind but he could've lived even without acknowledging that instinct. I believe that repeating things changes who you are, and when you keep being exposed to violence and death and having to see the beauty in corpses that just messes you up. And Hannibal loves to mess Will up, because he needed someone to stand with him. To understand him.

[satorisoup]

people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T

tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3

[potatobugz]

is anybody else, like, disappointed about cassandra's introduction in season 3? forgive me if im missing something but in s2 cassandra went by they/them and was written and implied to be nonbinary, only for them to retcon that in the next season.

like dont get me wrong its their character and they can write them however they choose but still... it kinda sucks :(

[opens-up-4-nobody]

God. The thing abt the uchiha is that. Yes. It was fucked up that no one trusted them and they got pushed further and further from the village center. However. They were also a clan of ninja cops with fucked up magical eyes that they supercharge by getting horrifically traumatized. So like. I also would not fucking trust them.

[celebration-of-the-ordinary-life]

if u. follow me for my art. i am very sorry. because 90% of the time, if i did not spend 3 hours doing it, it will probably be nothing more than a snip tool screenshot & not a properly saved .png file

anyways i pizazzed up the watermark from astral duo euri. i thought the flowers would be cute n funny. now every drawing will be given flowers against their will ✿. here is a peek into some of the headcanons i want on quincy

[quarks-pussy]

So I know we here at Startrekfandom love that "came back wrong but from the pov of the wrong" thing and apply it to many different characters and canon situations and I am far from trying to complain about it (I'm "came out wrong" trope myself so I was always gonna obsess over it) but having recently watched a very important episode (you'll know which one) for the first time I think there's a character who hits both tropes mentioned but llike, intertwined, opposite and subverted, and whom I wanna talk about.

Julian Bashir.

From his parents' pov he's "came out wrong but we got him help and he came back better" while from his own pov it's "came out 'insufficient', was destroyed for it, came back wrong and only later slowly came to terms with his new self tho never the process (justifiably so)" and it's heartbreaking because in a way, he's right! Jules Bashir died! His parents had an intellectually disabled child and decided to eugenics him! Julian is not the person he used to be and while I do love the person he is now, that doesn't bring back who he was! Part of me wishes we could've gotten to see Jules at least once and part of me hopes we never do because my heart would shatter.

This isn't a good comparison but nonetheless one I can't help drawing: it's giving similar vibes to anti-vaxxers. "I'd rather risk having a child who is dead than one who's autistic". Obviously this doesn't map over since Julian is still autistic and the procedure his parents subjected him to specifically targeted his intellectual disability and if any folks with id wanna comment on this I definitely recommend you listen to them over me, but it's a similarity I, as an autistic who has encountered anti-vaxxers again and again, can't help but point out. "Give me a normal child or give them death."

This may have been written about already but there needs to be stories about teenage Julian (after finding out and rediscovering who he was) practicing some good ol' recognition of the self through media. I need to hear about how he would encounter a story about someone who came back wrong (I'm gonna assume there's plenty of "wrong" pov stories floating around by the 24th century) and absolutely weep. I need to see Julian mourning Jules, taking years and years to process his feelings, experiencing guilt about how he, the imposter, didn't deserve to live Jules' life.

Came back wrong from the returned's pov but it wasn't an accident. It was done to you deliberately by the people who claim to love you. And now you are here, piloting the corpse of your predecessor.

Jules Bashir is dead. Long live Julian Bashir.

[the-acid-pear]

Dave and Steven's relationship is so fucking mental literally THE toxicest of yaois 💥

[rg11]

whats your fav aspect(s) of jadekat?

anon im sorry but i had like 40+ notes prepaired for my thoughts on jadekat but i lost all of them proof-reading it and this is all i got

they are the ultimate yuri to me

[earthspark-shockwaves-reduction]

when the cassettes escaped megs and OP and the decoy ravage was looking for soundwave and frenzy said "you don't have to follow him anymore!" or smth and it gave off the Slight but Very Troubling Implication that Soundwave treats the cassettes more like minions and tools and not his Itty Bitty Kiddies (and Actual Kitty) that Live in his Tiddies that he'd do anything for