#probably tmi lol sorry im just ANNOYED

[erodingsinner]

.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

oh god you have foolishly provided me a chance to dump the contains of my soul and heart out in the open through throwing all my favorite songs to listen to and think of Muriel at you in this essay i WILL

ok first i know its on his official playlist already BUT i feel a need to emphasize just how much it is ABsoLUTEly HIS song most of any of them: drumroll please::: 👏Wolf👏 by 👏First Aid Kit👏 any muriel simp reading this right now i am pounding you with my brainwaves of intent to go listen to it Right Now and Read those Lyrics and just try to tell me its not literally about him god if could draw id be doing such a cool animatic about it but alas it dies with me anyway WAYWARD WINDS!!! A VOICE THAT SINGS!!!! OF A!! FORGOTTEN!!!! LAND!!!!!!! SEE IT FALL!!!! CHILD OF WAR!!!! OH LEND!!!! A MENDING HAND!!!!!!!!!!! i believe ive made myself clear kbgxkyhfhkvd

https://youtu.be/6PmuuiXgIZE

i dont know if links work on anon but i had to try gjzghfdtomfg our wedding song straight up this is in my language and also like. about a girl but the words are easy to switch around so it fits lol it basically just goes like "you just had to know (to do something? like in a you know how to work me way lmao linguistics hard), that i cant forget you at all/i forgot my mother and father/my sister and my brother but i cant goshdarn forget you" and i dont know i probably cant translate that so it hits right but god its absolutely perfect to me cause like I DIDNT! FORGET HIM!! MC REMEMBERS HIM AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT!!!! EVEN WITH THE CURSE I DONT KNOW LET ME HAVE THIS ITS TOO GD ROMANTIC I CANT BELIEVE HE GOT ME ACTING LIKE THIS AGHGF im sorry for yelling i got excited

NEXT a classic we gotta pepper some hozier on this thing so here goes Nothing Fucks With My Baby cause thats my ultimate serenade for him in my head especially the "if i was born/as a blackthorn tree/id wanna be held by you/felled by you/fuel the pyre of your enemies" part as it perfectly describes my sentiments towards my man: hes my bby i will kill for him👁️👁️

theres Always Forever by Cults, i dont have that much to rant about it i just always think of him when i play it lol theres hozier again It Will Come Back which is on his official playlist too but i play around with perspectives in this one cause i put myself in the "it" position, like. im chasing here bro👀 oh my god i have got to shut up this is entirely tmi

https://youtu.be/mLycEitwJCA

i made a whole post about this one its a whole thing lmao long story short muriel on a murderous revenge quest au MOVING ON

OH i remembered another folky one

https://youtu.be/NrgwIo8GWDI

its SUCH a banger and i love it and it goes like i saw a Wolf a Fox a Rabbit so i just imprinted on it with Muriel Asra and MC respectively cause i dont know i had a phase where i decided mcs spirit animal is a rabbit cause of that scrapped introduction chapter with the labyrinth thing i guess idk im scrambling here ngfsfugc anyway it slaps listen to it and imagine a bangin tavern party and maybe youll calm down /meme

ohh ok we're on a folksy roll thats probably because i just mostly associate old timey sounding songs with arcana in general lmao i mean its like middle ages over there right

https://youtu.be/t9PUlNQOZ8o

this ones in my language again i know annoying but i found a translated version look!!! AND theres a bunch of people correcting the mistakes in the comments too if you were wanting to get deeper into research hkdggjyecb and its white voice style so depending on your taste it might sound silly but yeah this ones got some fitting lines too tying up with Murmur and its so cute and so cheesy and hopeful and sappy and it cheers me up aw

oh my god i wonder if anyone gets this far reading this ever if youre seeing this its probably during a scroll roll slow just enough to make out the letters Hello godspeed you continue on your journey with my blessings cause im noT EVEN DONE YET HAHAHAHAHAA

Motha Motha! Problems! nuff said

https://youtu.be/artn9fErRp8

this ones gonna take explaining gjxgkhpgz but maybe not that much

https://youtu.be/_h9V94b4R2g

i just had a eureka moment one day and so another animatic concept to take to my grave was born lmao but mostly its just playing into Muriels & MCs "nO i cOULd hUrt YoU Go aWaY" + "ayo hold my flower ima kill them real quick" dynamic theyve got heehee like the whole "~Dangerous~ ooh that sounds good ya" bit and also yes im in your house no im not leaving jgdghkfhgd and like i just imagined the song fitting the vibe of the whole murder lucio quest road trip with MC all "yo we Getting this shit DONE dont fuck around w my crew" (The Crew: feral milf & bear with anxiety) AND LIKE i always get to the "party like we all gon die tonight" basedrop part with the whole visual montage of us finding khamgalai and then the graveyard fight and Absolutely Everything Going to Shit and the mood shifting to "well fuck maybe we do not in fact got this" but its good we kick lucio all the way to hell at the end we good💕

https://youtu.be/ZxWiG6UJr0w

MMMMMMM THIS ONEE AWW im literally just scrolling through my endless unsorted playlist to find these gdiyyfgfz this ones just cute it doesnt really relate to anything at all actually when i think about it but its nice so here

https://youtu.be/6FEDrU85FLE

.....nope i got nothing on this one just plop it right in here

oh my god. its over. weve done it. we're free

man i hope those links work. definitely not on mobile lol whatever

Hi! and oh, WOW, this was one of the most delightfully wild essays I've ever read for Muriel and I loved it. Especially describing the dynamic on the trip south as "feral milf & bear with anxiety" XD

I've found that links don't work in asks, even with the media option turned on, so I'll include them below. Thanks for your suggestions, anon, I'll put them on the tag! ^.^

[gmmtv-bl-tournament-but-evil]

I'm never around for the drama that unfolds bts since i don't hang around in the fandom much. so these are my (mostly) unbiased opinions lol

when i see comments saying cps don't have chemistry in dramas i end up confused because i enjoyed their drama because of how good they were romantically lmao even if the plot is weak. but honestly im not the best judge at that because if i don't vibe with the drama, i usually say it's not my type and move on. the fact that the plot could be at fault never crosses my mind until i see others opinion [looks at hidden agenda] (im sorry HA enjoyers im glad you liked it but it wasn't my type)

probably why i was able to enjoy bbs and its our skyy 2 and thought ohmnanon had strong chemistry. it was only after our skyy 2 did i know about their "break up" and that was very weird to me because they seemed pretty good friends in the bts I've seen. i wasn't a fan but i did like them a lot. And then i see comments saying they did not have chemistry in our skyy 2 which always gets me cause wdym they didn't look like they were in love

another one would be jimmysea in vice versa that some seemed to think got no chemistry either which i don't agree with because while the plot was all over the place with the constant ads, i never felt like they weren't into each other. i struggled through the drama because i wanted to see them end up together cause they were cute af. saw someone say it's probably because they don't fit the uke/seme stereotype which could be it? idk. I'm not a fan of the actors but im glad they got last twilight cause they seem to be nailing their roles in it.

unpopular opinion im guessing but i thought perthchimon had romantic chemistry in dr. i won't say it's strong like others but i watched it for them so. the theme didn't remain the same after ep 2 but a cute bl is up my alley so I wasn't that disappointed lol. though they can't kiss for shit lmao but im not the one to shame them and i hope they get better at it if they have another bl. i watched nlmg after and chopper stole the show for me. i liked both of them in it too (more than the mls but it's mainly because i couldn't stand their dynamic. phuwin character being whiney and having pond character fall for him again annoyed me because it reminds me of futs and i was against them ending up together in it lmao. i just wasn't able to get into nlmg much. genuinely no offense im glad there are others who enjoy them fr)

discourses online say all these cps were too bro-like which i get why but as a fellow gay man, this does happen irl. I've had people who were shocked at the fact that my partner and i were actually dating because we act like bros lmfao. and tmi, but who cares, im often called a twink irl. anygays these three really stood out to me because i liked them a lot in their shows so yeah i had to drop an ask since prev anons were discussing this lol

I get where you’re coming from, I'm also someone who doesn't engage in fandom very assidiously although my desire to know everything about everything means I usually know what's going on regardless whether I particularly want to or not. A lot of information seems to just randomly fall into my lap!

I partly agree with people who say that the OhmNanon chemistry was somewhat diminished in Our Skyy 2 though not so dramatically that it wasn't enjoyable.

Agreed on JimmySea and Vice Versa, I don't actively hate it but most of the reason I stayed was them. Those ads truly did some damage there. Last Twilight, though, holy shit! I would now kill and die for JimmySea. I really don't know if their distance from the usual relationship roles had anything to do with their popularity - or lack thereof -, it's really not something that had occurred to me before now, so thank you for that fresh perspective!

Yeah, Dangerous Romance wasn't excellent but I've seen much much worse and while it's true there's a lot of room for improvement ("PerthChimon can't kiss for shit" got a genuine laugh out of me), they weren't completely unsalvageable.

As for PondPhuwin, Phuwin does seem to get that type of character a lot and in terms of their dynamic, it can get old fast. I will say, though, that FUTS had me laughing irl a lot so I tend to hold a little more affection for it than I do NLMG. But that's just me.

And hell yeah for that last part! The discourse that pisses me off the most about BL is when people get upset about couples in stories not conforming to their idea of what a relationship should look like. If I'm being completely honest, I think GMMTV tends to use the same dynamic more often than other production houses which I sometimes find extremely frustrating because when something new and different comes out a lot of people get upset it doesn't align to the standard GMMTV sets by virtue of being arguably the most popular producer of BL.

[omega-red]

ways me and dale are alike

1. suspicious of/hates the government 2. paranoid (in a different way albeit. im terrified of people breaking into my house making it hard to sleep) 3. believes in UFOs (now officially referred to as UAPs 🤓) 4. owns pet turtle 5. likes mike 'n ikes 6. coward and easily scared 7. feral 8. interested in insects 9. a little selfish /: 10. weak and skinny 11. long hair when younger, very short hair now. 12. grew up with parents who smoked (it was vapes tho) 13. i cry a little too much 14. afraid of things like dolls/dummies which also ties into paranoia 15. easily annoyed 16. southern 17. not sure if this one counts since its more of a theory but i'm also adhd and probably autistic. dale is (imo) definitely adhd and probably autistic

18. also dale has referenced xmen before so idk if that makes him a fan of it or not. either way i love xmen and im thinking dale has ATLEAST seen it.

ways me and dale are NOT alike

1. i could never kill animals and i dont like killing bugs

2. i am a lot more sentimental and sympathetic, though dale can exhibit moments of sympathy and sentimentality of course. but as dale has stated himself, "its not in my nature to care about others" which sums it up overall pretty good, unless its his family. and a few other ppl like his friends. (most of the time. that quote was from the episode where bill tried to KILL HIMSELF)

3. not a conspiracy theorist lol 4. i love socialism, which i will just tie into opposing political views. but. i mean thats kinds of a given right? hes a king of the hill character lmao 5. idk a lot more i just cant think of it right now. overall dale is just a lot ruder and more arrogant than me apologies for this silly post !! and sorry if it was TMI

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hi so my question is kinda weird and tmi but here goes: ever since I started masturbating when I was like 12, I can never just come once or twice and then stop like its probably closer to 10 times and I want to stop and tell myself "ok last one" but I cant until it almost hurts.. is that just the "normal" female experience? Im too awkward to ask my friends lol

hi anon,

don't worry. we don't do "tmi" here.

I'd first and foremost like to gently dissuade you of the notion that there's any such thing as a "normal female experience." "female" is a vast category that means wildly different things to different people, and "normal" means almost nothing at all, particularly in the context of gender and sexuality. here in my little internet bog, I prefer to chuck "normal" out the window and focus more on "statistically average" and "healthy."

so, let's unpack your question through those slightly more helpful lenses!

is this statistically average? probably not, but being a numerical outlier doesn't make something inherently bad. I'm going to be extremely presumptuous and read between the lines here to assume that you're a cisgender person with a vagina; please feel free to message me with a correction if I'm wrong. if this is the case, what you're experiencing may be a higher number of orgasms than average but not strictly surprising. people with clits and vulvas tend to (tend to, this is not universal!) have a much easier time being multi-orgasmic than people with penises, owing to a much shorter refractory period.

tl;dr, many people with vaginas are able to become sexually aroused and have another orgasm again quickly after the first climax. 12 orgasms is probably more than most people have on average, but it's also not implausible.

now - is it healthy and safe? it certainly could be, but the situation you're describing - continuing to masturbate until you feel like it can't stop and it actually starts to hurt - doesn't sound like it's particularly good for you. what it sounds like is that early in puberty you found a form of physical stimulation that felt nice, and then developed a compulsive repetitive behavior seeking to keep feeling the physical benefits of that stimuli even when you're no longer actually enjoying it.

talking about the negative side effects of masturbation always makes me feel like an unhinged puritanical preacher, but let's be real: it's as easy to learn unhealthy habits around masturbation as it as anything else. your body finds one (1) way to get free physical pleasure and goes "oh! cool, we're going it that way forever," and next thing you know you're locked in a repetitive pattern that you may or may not actually like or want to keep doing.

unlearning those patterns isn't easy, but you absolutely can if you put in the work. right now your mind and body are primed to expect multiple orgasms to the point of pain when you masturbate; you need to do anything in your power to break that association. when you've finished your first or second orgasm, physically roll yourself back out of bed and go get a snack, take a lap around the block, enjoy a particularly freezing shower, or anything else that jars your brain straight out of sexytime. sorry, no more orgasms today! we're actually not going to do this until it hurts, but nice try!

will that be annoying? god, yes. that's the whole point. but disrupting your current thought processes and subconscious expectations with sex is really the only way to go here. there's a REASON that I trained myself to drop everything and go for 20 minute walks any time my depression started to feel overwhelming, you know?

it may also be helpful to jerk it less frequently than you do now, however often that is, especially since you'll need to plan accordingly for your post-masturbation unsexy activity. I wouldn't necessarily recommend setting aside specific amounts of time for yourself, since that creates a negative pressure and could quickly create one bad pattern with another, but picking designated days when you know you'll have time for a post-sex wind down could also help shake up your current rut - and, of course, it doesn't have to be forever. hopefully, once we've disrupted this, you'll be able to transition to a more organic and less rigid relationship with masturbation.

"but Makenzie this sounds hard and annoying" yeah probably! but it's cheaper than a sex therapist, which is the only other option I have for you.

[laximpulsion]

Director's Cut Commentary: Ch. 4 aka WELCOME TO TMI HOUR! i buried my ballast, i made my peace

had a moment of absolute earth shattering panic reading over this and realizing i think i mixed my metaphors a little bit with houses/labyrinths ... but then i told myself ykw im not writing the next great american novel, im writing a fanfiction, so i think i can be forgiven for some slight metaphor mixing. still, ffs, how many times did i read over this chapter and only now notice that... potential lesson to learn here: let things sit for longer before you post!

anyway. all of that aside this is both my favorite and least favorite chapter. favorite because i got to just let loose and go really over the top with leah's mental unraveling and metaphors and i did find the literary aspect to be very rewarding. least favorite because, vulnerable honest truth, i was/am nervous that people will find it upsetting -- and not in a cathartic way, but in an off-putting way. i think im probably overthinking it, but for such a delicate topic its hard not to, and i guess id rather overthink it than underthink it. fwiw i struggled off and on w/ suicidal thoughts through my late teens/early twenties, and i wanted to try to be faithful to how painful and overwhelming that can be while also not just seeming like i was doing shock value for the sake of shock value.

and ofc i dont claim that this portrayal represents or should represent anyone's experience other than leah rilke's (not even my own!). even then, this is just one take on what *might* have been going through her head at that time. im sure someone else might have taken it in a different direction but i was really running with the labyrinth metaphor at this point (obviously)

the other aspect of the labyrinth metaphor that i introduced this chap is the monster at the center, which is supposed to stand for insanity. like just totally losing her mind.

#unreliablenarratormoment when leah says fatin is telling her nonsense about the pit and fatin is actually being quite sensible

fatin's story in this chapter is also based on something that happened to me. again, not the juicy parts (sorry). but when i was 15 or 16, a girl played the same piece as me at a piano recital, and she played it better than me, and i decided she was my arch nemesis. i also noticed that she was very nice and pretty, which i found extremely annoying. saw her a couple times at recitals and competitions but after a year or so i never saw her again. (i did not trash her stuff and i never hooked up with her at a party lol sadly)

favorite line: "It’s sick curiosity, or maybe hopeful curiosity. Which is sick in its own way."

[grxceblqckthxrn]

TDA characters as types of tiktokers

y’all KNOW i’m bored when i’m doing this shit lmao 

i’ll get around to doing the other TSC characters eventually TDA was just the first to come to mind also if you’re not actively on tiktok some of what i say might not make sense ahaha

also i named some tiktokers who yall can use for reference for some of them and from what i’ve seen they’re all fairly unproblematic so you should check them out!!

EMMA CARSTAIRS

okay so she’s DEFINITELY super popular and she uses her platform for good

she’s really funny and a lot of her audios go viral posts videos of her dancing saying that she cant dance but she’s actually really good at it

6M followers and growing fast 

 hypes up her boyfriend’s account ALL the time

calls out misogynistic/racist tiktokers through duets and KEEPS THEIR TAG IN THE CAPTION  

 she is not afraid of starting drama lmao

occasionally hops on POV and transition trends but its usually satire 

emma can’t act for shit lmao 

super active on tiktok and has a spam account

people are always asking her to drop the skin care routine but she doesn’t have one?? 

*pushes Zara down* “and no one’s gonna help her?? WOW some world we live in”

JULIAN BLACKTHORN

there’s no way he doesnt  have an art account lmao

a lot of his paintings go viral but 90% of his comments are 14 year old girls thirsting over him

yall know that pottery guy on tiktok?? the cute one?? (i searched up his account just for this post he’s @/daxnewman769) that’s the best way to describe him

literally all the famous tiktokers commission him

probably has like 4M followers lmao

will occasionally make about how respecting women doesn’t make you a “simp”

doesn’t get into tiktok drama tho

posts candid videos of emma and all his jealous 14 year old fans get so pressed but he shuts down anyone who says anything bad about her

sometimes does painting or drawing tutorials and he’s really good at teaching stuff lmao

CRISTINA ROSALES

omg okay so like yall know those really pretty girls on tiktok who are literal models and are always dropping tips on how to frame your face for pictures and best clothes and poses and whatever  ( @/ameliezilber is the first person that came to mind as an example)

thats her

alot of her content is just for the aesthetic

BLING EFFECT

GRWM’s all the time

10 step skin care routine 

GOOD VIBES

has a pretty decent following?? like at least 2 million

has a spam but it’s exactly the same as her main lol

also calls out problematic tiktokers but not by name

her entire account is full of body positivity and does a bunch of stuff on loving yourself

sometimes does POVs and all the comments are like “@ netflix hire her rn”

sometimes posts crack videos with emma and cute vids with mark and kieran

MARK BLACKTHORN

does a lot of reaction videos and duets

a lot of his videos go viral but he doesn’t have a huge following like maybe 800k

 everyone still knows him

gets at least twenty “are you wearing only one contact” comment about his eyes every post

he’s really funny without even realizing it 

sometimes goes inactive for weeks at a time and just forgets that tiktok exists lmao

shows off kieran and cristina ALL THE MF TIME AND EVERYONE IS SO JEALOUS LIKE HOW ARE ALL OF THEM HOT

KIERAN 

doesnt have a tiktok lmao sorry

but shows up so much on mark’s and cristina’s that a lot of people know who he is

DIANA WRAYBURN

unironically does POVs but is actually good at them??

lots of videos talking about the struggles of minorities like LGBTQ+ and POC and women

posts a lot of those vidoes that are like “what to do if you ever get kidnapped” “red flags in relationships” “most powerful parts of the body” etc

probably has like 500k followers 

at the end of the day she doesn’t really use tiktok that much tho ahaha

LIVVY BLACKTHORN:

does a little bit of everything??

posts dance videos sometimes 

omg her transitions are SO good

everyone is in love with her and she has to remind them that she’s a minor (i’m just a kid plays aggressively in the background)

posts videos that are just vibes?? like her skating at night, dancing in traffic with dru/her friends, walking through the city at night etc

lots of lip syncing videos to whatever sounds are popular and all her comments are like “i wish i looked like this” “guess im not eating today” and she gets so upset :((

she wants everyone to know that they’re perfect the way they are!!

also posts POVs sometimes and she’s not that bad at them ahaha 

probably has like 1 million followers 

doesn’t even need a spam just posts everything on her main 

shouts out her sibilings accounts all the time

overall just great energy

TY BLACKTHORN

never posts his face on his main but he does on his spam

yall know those accounts that post fun facts or psychology facts?? his is like that except he talks to explain them and everyone finds his voice SO calming 

he posts a lot of content of animals and everyone is in AWE with how good he is with them

his username is probably theanimalwhisperer or something djkfskjd

every single time he posts Kit on his account all the comments are like “OOH ICU” and “SHIP” and “ASK HIM OUT ALREADY”

he gives 0 shits about popularity on tiktok he’s just posting for fun because he likes teaching people about his interests

so he has like maybe 500k followers

lots of philosophical questions that has everyone questioning their existence

ugh i love him

KIT HERONDALE

be honest this is what y’all were waiting for 

yall know those unproblematic ppl that everyone refers to as the “king(s) of tiktok”???

yeah thats him

SO FUNNY

LIKE HIS CONTENT IS GENUINELY HILARIOUS

lots of sarcasm and satire

think @/adamkindacool  ?? (one of my favourite tiktokers lmao)

does reaction videos for those “pov: im the annoying hot cheeto girl sitting next to you in math class” videos

dark humor (not like rude humor but actual dark humor)

like “i put the baby in the oven and the pizza in the bed” type of jokes back when those were a thing

has like 4M followers but almost every single one of his posts go viral so he’s gaining fast

lots of pranks

starts a bunch of trends

any video he posts of Mina goes viral

sometimes he posts some really weird stuff that has everyone laughing so hard irl (@/benoftheweek)

he NEVER thirst traps but still gets a lot of those weird sexual fairy comments on his posts (iykyk)

TO BE CLEAR I MEAN THE FAIRY EMOJI ONES NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM BEING FAE 

reacts to the comments with a video of him just staring at the screen with the “oh to see without my eyes” or “im just sixteen” audio going on in the background which only encourages them to make more weird comments

anyways everyone loves him

any of his povs are pure jokes meant to make fun of pov’ers

posts maybe one serious tiktok every 5 months that talks about being respectful and using your platform for good

“i miss old tiktok”

posts a lot of random videos of Ty where, again, all the comments are shipping them except even more so on his account because everyone can see his heart eyes for Ty

collabs with Dru a lot and does a bunch of duets of her videos

everyone loves him bye

DRU BLACKTHORN

SO many memes

she deletes any hate in her comments bc she honestly doesnt care to respond to them and doesn’t need that kind of negativity in her life

but one time she got a “the f in women stands for funny” comment and she WENT OFF

does really dark povs sometimes that are really interesting

CLOWN MAKEUP + SCARY CLOWN TIKTOKS ( think @/avani ‘s clown make up posts

REALLY good at makeup and sometimes gets julian to do scary makeup on her for tiktoks and povs (like those ones with stitches over the mouth or skin peeling off)

huge ally!! posts a lot about minorities struggles and white privilege, and acknowledges hers

does movie reviews and stuff sometimes

“types of” videos

pulls a lot of pranks on her sibilings with livvy and sometimes with Kit

lots of body positivity + self love

calls out back-handed compliments

also has a lot of content like Livvy’s of just vibing in LA

julian and emma and mark go off at anyone who sexualize her in the comments

probably has like 650k followers

posts a couple of times a week

BONUS: 

JAIME ROSALES

lots of skateboarding videos idk he just gives me that vibe

doesn’t post that often but is super popular

like maybe 1.5M followers

really passionate about systematic racism

HATES all those privileged white boys using the “this is america” audio to pretend they’re oppressed ( this is a may 2020 thing so it probably wont make sense to anyone who sees this after lmao)

POSTS A LOT OF THIRST TRAPS LMAO 

also posts lots of videos that’s just him yelling about stuff but they’re really entertaining to watch ( like that guy sebastian @/sauceyogranny)

everyone thinks he’s super hot he always shows up in those “hottest boys on tiktok” videos except sometimes he’s just the token POC boy and it makes him mad :( 

DIEGO ROSALES

HIS ACCOUNT IS SO PRACTICAL LMAO

lots of tips 

“what to do if you’re trapped in the desert” “what to do if you’re kidnapped and stuck in the trunk”

doesnt reply to comments EVER unless it’s to clarify a point he made in the video or answer a question

has like 200k

okay thats it lmao im done bye this took me like an hour to make

i’ll get to all the other characters from the other series’ eventually 

also if yall are wondering abt the lack of f*ckbois in this post they’re coming dw

TMI CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

TID CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS 

TLH CHARACTERS AS TYPES OF TIKTOKERS

[lipstickbisous]

esme this year and last year i have the weirdest period schedule ever. i want to tell you my story, im sorry if this is very annoying and long, you can ignore it lol. also sorry for bad english, not my first language.

okay so, it all started from july 2020. i didn't get my period and i remember thinking "eh probably because im stressed" then august was coming and i still haven't had my period yet, until october. i didn't get my period for 3 months and i thought what the hell. i even thought that i was pregnant lol but im a virgin??? i havent had my first kiss yet 😳 november also passed with me not getting my period. then in december i finally have my period and i never ever been feeling truly happy when i'm on my period. it all went well until february.

from february until may i didn't get my period and its started stressing me out. at first i didn't want to go to the obgyn because im scared. then i talked to my mother and she said maybe this was the effect from my medication which i have been on for 3 years. but at those years i get my period regularly so??? giving up, i finally went to the obgyn 2 weeks ago!!!

my mother can not accompanying me so i went with my dad. the stare that i get from other patient on the waiting room is insane 😖😖 seeing 18 years old girl going to the obgyn with her dad???? anyway turns out there was something wrong with my hormon, so the doctor gave me medication to i quote from him "maintaining and 'reset' the hormon in my body". the medicine is hella expensive 😖 then i talk to my other doctor who gave me medication for my other illness, he said it might be the effect from one of the 4 medicines he gave me.

yeah so ... thank you for listening to my story esme 🥺 i just haven't had the chance to tell this story to someone and i really need this to get it out of my chest. thank you again and love you!!! 💝💝💖💖💖

i'm so sorry i'm answering this late, it got drowned out by other asks but this is definitely interesting! i had some period problems recently, but they were nothing as in the time and range of them.

for a while, my period was brown, which just meant it was old blood, but (tmi) i mean it was BROWN. my period pains were also a lot worse than usual, i had never gotten pains like that before!!

i have been having hormones problems recently as well though, but it's been affecting my tits more than anything! they're not growing, they've just been sore and recently (tmi again) they've been leaking fluid. it's not milk, it's like clear but i had to schedule an appointment for it so i'll give updates soon!!

but i'm glad you sent this in! a lot of times women feel like it's gross or inappropriate to talk about what's really just simple things that happen to our body. talking about it can help other women learn more about their bodies and maybe other problems they're having! this is a safe space, thank you for talking about it!

[ikevamp-shrine]

It’s a match up baby

Hi there love! I just say your post saying u do matchupz 😱😱❤❤❤ i got so excited so now im here requesting one❤🌈🔥hope u dont mind🥰 okay so... ❤🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. Okay ima do this in 3 asks hope ya dont mind❤ 1/3... ❤🥰  I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating. I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 2/3... I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real. I tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, okay one more 3/3 + one more🔥🙌sorry if this is TMI...I enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club) i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure.  I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

Thank you for requesting @nad-zeta . I hope you enjoy and have a good rest of your day.

I MATCH YOU WITH...

Napoleon Bonaparte

Charming people and getting them to open up is one of his things he does ya know? So your difficulty in getting to know is no problem to him

Napoleon is also a very patient man so you being shy does not effect him since he is used to it from being around Isaac 

He honestly finds it absolutely adorable 

He would understand bottling up your emotions since he is so used to putting others before himself (including other’s emotions before his own) but he would do every trick in the book to get you to slowly open up to him and to get you to talk about your emotions, wants, and needs

He would find your stubbornness incredibly sexy as he loves a challenge from time to time you would keep him on his toes

Your gentleness and kindness would always bring a tender smile to his face and make his eyes soften with adoration

He would roll his eyes at your goofy, fun loving, and over dramatic side but would ten out of ten join you in your antics then tackle you to the ground all while having one of his famed laughing fits

He can’t help but feel pride well up in him at your bluntness and confidence when you tell someone how it is but at the same time would inch closer just- and only just- incase you need him

Napoleon can’t help but to get turned on by your teasing but if you go too far he will quickly turn it around on you and leave you like a puddle of goo

He always snickers at your sarcastic and snarky comments unless they are directed towards then he will once more leave you breathless and begging for more

The first time you made a self deprecating joke... he was a little taken back- why was such a strong, beautiful, amazing woman joking about herself in a self deprecating way? 

He figured out after a little that your way of joking was unique and soon found humor in it himself- though he will always kiss you hard and tell you how perfect you are if he feels as if you start believing the jokes you say about yourself

Napoleon finds your badly timed inappropriate jokes endearing though he will still give you “the look” as if telling you not right now even if he is laughing hysterically on the inside

When I tell you this man would be head over heals in love with you when he seeing your protectiveness I mean it

The first time he sees your protective side he feels as if the whole floor falls out from under him because how is this woman so perfect? Like damn girl get you some. Go off hun- he finds it extremely hot.

Don’t expect to walk the next day lol

he finds your inability to stand up for yourself confusing (since you’re so quick to protect others) but won’t question it cause you won’t need to defend yourself... after all he will protect you with everything he has

He would absolutely make you put a quarter in the swear jaw each time you say a naughty word though he would see how hard you work to keep your mouth under control so he would go easy on you time to time 

You blush easily? He is going to use that to his advantage (after all he thinks your blush is so cute so he loves seeing it)

He would appreciate your go-with-the-flow approach to things and your ability to forgive and forget so easily

He would respect your alone time aka leave you alone when you wanted him to- no questions asked

Dislike crowds but you both need to go out in public? You better believe this man already made a map of the least populated streets in the city and if you had to go in a bigger crowd he would snake his arm around you and put on his most imitating expression to make people part like the red sea around you both

He doesn’t like loud noises either- war and all- so when there happens to be a thunder storm, a holiday that people have fireworks with, or if it’s just too loud in the mansion that day he would pick you up, carry you to his room, and snuggle in the bed with a blanket over both of your heads to try and block out the sound

He will even cover your ears with his hands if the sounds get too much for you

He knows everyone has insecurities and fears, and that it’s normal, and he can’t just kiss them away or say a few pretty words and they will disappear, he knows that, but he would want nothing more than for you to feel good about yourself and for all your fears to disappear all at once

He would see himself in you when you showed your calm and confident side (remember children confidence is sexy- and if you're not confident fake it until you make it)

he would have to hold himself back or he would end up jumping you and taking you were you stood

Napoleon would also keep you so busy- inside the bedroom and out- that you wouldn’t have time to feel or be awkward, but if you happen to be at anytime he can’t help but pat your head at how adorable you are

Other Matches:...

Leonardo da Vinci

You two would definitely have your ups and downs but he would always respect your space. He would find your protectiveness attractive and wouldn’t make you open up to him- instead he would wait until you were ready to talk. You would probably find his clutter and sleep schedule annoying but would get over it or learn to work around it. His flirty side would defiantly frustrate you (mainly because you wouldn't stop blushing while you were around him). You two would butt heads with when it comes to stubbornness but Leonardo would find your persistence sexy. He doesn't mind your not so PG mouth.

He would join in on making self depreciating jokes, so both of you would end up spending a long time just going back and forth absolutely roasting each other/ yourselves. He would encourage you to stand up for yourself but will always be there when you need him. You want to cuddle? This personal heater is yours for only the small price of a kiss. And cue the awkward, blushing mess Leonardo fell in love with.

[vyvesvi]

vyvesvi’s long awaited yesstyle review lmao :-)

ugh the keep reading isn’t working on mobile rip y’all sry

>a few Important things:

i just moved into my dorm yesterday so everything abt the pics and reviews to follow is a hot mess + i misplaced some stuff + didn’t bring it to my dorm bc it didnt work out (so i don’t have pics)

I’m not being sponsored in any way by yesstyle, i just don’t think there are enough black reviewers of yesstyle goods (but what does race have to do with anything, you may ask??? well, ppl come in all shaoes and sizes and the overlap between east asian sizes and body types and black body types is um. well. slim. that being said, i’ll give you some deets on me: i legit have no idea how much i weigh but im generally thin-ish with thicker thighs and a tummy pouch; height: ~169 cm, generally a US size S - M/4 - 6))

bc im not being sponsored, im not providing any (affiliate) links, just product names, sorry if that’s annoying

every yesstyle member (you become a member when you buy stuff) gets a reawrds code that takes a % off of my next order and the order that the code is used for, but I think it’s only like. 2% or smthng. message me and i’ll try to unearth my code if ur interested)

I ordered this stuff in two separate, similarly sized orders and the delivery time went like this (#1: ordered on-  2019-07-05 01:33 AM; split into two packages for some reason, received on like...july 22ndish? for some reason the tracking info isnt showing the delivery info. the 2nd part of this order, which was shipped a day later, arrived on the 19th. #2: ordered on-  2019-07-30 10:04 AM, received on  08/20, wasn’t expecting much bc it was shipped from hong kong during the protests but it was basically the same as the first order)

>the actual review part

i rly didnt wanna make a long post so just click for better quality sry lmao

edit: rip the quality if y’all want better photos @ me lmao

Dreamkura - Short-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L

4/5- weird shape (really long sleeves for a short sleeved shirt, and really boxy too), and if you compare the placement and size of the patch vs. the one in the picture it’s not 100% accurate. still a cute shirt though so it’s fine

I sized up for an oversized look but I probably didn’t 100% need to

the black one is currently unavailable :/

camikiss - Seamless Under Shorts, Black - One Size

5/5- i wear these shorts too much. im wearing them right now. the ultimate safety shorts

the one size was a Risk but these shorts stretch well. maybe dont get them if you’re an XL and above in US sizes though

Lemongrass - Distressed Denim Shorts, Dark Blue - M

4.5/5- better quality than primark which. wow, did not see that coming

you have to cut the button hole (they seal it to show they they’ve never been worn apparently)

the button kinda like...jingles if you shake them vigorously, but it doesn’t happen when the pants are on, so it’s fine. still funny tho

im bad at wearing ripped shorts but if ur not i highly recommend

INKLEE - Round Buckle Faux Leather Belt - 105CM

5/5- kinda cheap but it does what I want which is hold my pants up lol

i could’ve sized down but that has way more to do with me not knowing my waist size lmao

Gwendolyn - Off-Shoulder Ruffle-Trim Blouse, White - One Size

4/5- i bought this bc it made me think “flyy like a butterfly” and all that jazz

it’s not my normal style but i really like it! it’s VERY sheer though

but I also got white so what did i really expect?

one-size was a risk once again but this shirt is pretty roomy, although it’s also kinda short...like not crop top short, but slightly difficult to tuck in short.

i would buy it again in black so i guess that says something

also i have like. freaky long arms (i can wave my hand over my shoulder with my arm behind my back and my elbow parallel to my torso...that’s such a weird description but uh. just know that my arms are long okay) and it didn’t look too indecent at the top to have the sleeves pulled down to my wrists! it’s a win!)

Moon City - Drop Shoulder Cardigan, Black - One Size

4.7/5- smelled weird when i opened it but I washed it and it’s fine!

one size risk but this one was also roomy af

the sleeves fit!!! god bless!!!

Edise - Couple Matching Elbow-Sleeve Embroidered T-Shirt, Black - L & White L

5/5- The white one was perfect and I love it! I sized like 2 sizes up for it to be a oversized but I would say it’s only abt 1 size oversized, if that makes sense? but I actually like it the way it is so cool lmao

3.7/5- the black one was really badly sewn on, but i reported it and got a new one for free so go me go yesstyle! they didnt give me tracking info *i think* and i wasn’t really waiting for it so it feels like it came fast lol

the moon is kinda a more awkward shape in person i think, but the stormy clouds were high quality and perfect!

i really like the material of the shirt!s it’s thick and soft and smooth? i’ve legit never felt a tshirt like that but im into it

DIYI - Plain High-Waist A-Line Skirt, Black - M

4.7/5- im wearing the outfit pictured right now and *TMI* the sewn in shorts are giving me a very very uncomfortably large wedgie tbh

it fits perfectly otherwise though

i feel like it’s one of the cheapest feeling things that i received, but it’s about forever21 quality but for only $11.45 so i’m 100% fine with it tbh

TREEZIN - Plaid Mini Skirt, Dark Blue - M

4.7/5- it’s very cute and fits perfectly! kinda shirt though and there was like 1 loose thread

the brown in the skirt isn’t super noticeable which i don’t really mind...overall i’d say that they lightened the photos considerably, which effects the color of the skirt

no safety shorts but idrc

pretty thick material

the final stretch thank god

Manicotto - Mock Two-Piece Sleeveless Mini Dress, Check - M 

3/5 pretty cheap material. the skirt is true to size, but the top is like two sizes too small (i don’t have that much boob but it was still too much for this poor, poor, top). they come as separate pieces, so i brought the skirt to school with me and left the top at home. im not sure what i would tell someone who wanted to buy this abt sizing, bc of the dramatic discrepancy btwn the sizes.

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Dinosaur Earring, 1 Pair - S925 Silver - Gold - One Size 

4/5, very cute, VERY small (dainty, sure) and good quality! my only complaint is that either it’s not real silver or whatever it is that they used to make them look gold is something that im allergic to. my ears got itchy

A’ROCH - 925 Sterling Silver Ear Cuff1 Pair - Cross - Silver - One Size

4.7/5, definitely 100% silver. i’d love to wear them but with my move i can’t find either pair of the earrings

they only sell them as 2 of the cross cuffs or 2 of the parallel cuffs which is annoying bc they’re pictured together but they’re good enough and cheap enough that i’d buy the parallel ones in a separate order

Euphrasia - Oxford Crossbody Bag, Black - One Size 

5/5 one of my best buys hands down

its ugly cute but it’s so useful

it has so much storage space for such a small bag

im in love

Jansi - Set of 3: Heart-Embroidered Socks, Black + White + Blue - One Size

4.5/5 i wanted the dark gray that’s pictured but they edited the hell out of that photo so the blue that i ordered is actually the gray sock pictured

really comfy and cute! esp with the tops of the hearts peeking out over the tops of high top converses??? i love it sm

i have big feet and they fit me, so they’d fit most ppl i think

Ashlee - Cuffed Denim Shorts, Light Blue - M

2/5, a horrible disappointment part 1

maybe i shouldve sized up more but the critch area just fits SO BADLY i left these at home

i would return but im not paying for return shipping to hong kong so i’ll donate them

they’re also cute really badly like they don’t taper in at the waist at all

no human person is shaped like that pls ashlee

they get a 2 bc they are shorts and they sent me the right color

Rosehedge - Pleated Mini Skirt, Black - S

3/5, a horribly disappointment part 2

i shouldve sized up idky i didnt

i can actually fit into them and zip them up and everything but it’s so so short that you can basically see my entire safety short covered butt and it kinda bulges between the top of the tiny sewn in safety shorts and the actual skirt

wow thats a weird sentence sorry but you get it

has thousands of good reviews though, way more than anything on this list so that must count for something right?

3 bc it’s kinda my fault

Regalia - Faux Leather Wallet, Black - One Size 

5/5 beautiful lots of storage space but still very compact, would buy again

the “forever young, made in korea” is kinda ugly but what can you do?

Prinsis - Printed Socks, Dinosaur - White - One Size

3.5/5 they’re cute, but the design is so but that you can see halves of it on the front of the sock, which is very ugly

notice how on the site every pic is taken from the side? not a coincidence

they fit fine and are comfy though

>okay that’s it thank god!

>lmk if you have any questions!!!

(@gowon-yyxy)

[miedei]

you're so easy to talk to too that i'm surprising myself with how much shit i'm spewing out from the get-go 😭😭 & yesssss i love hcs with longass and detailed discussions 😩❣

but maniac drummer couple 😭😭😭 what a TITLE 😭😭😭 the reputation y'all would have djfjdd omg & i can totally TOTALLY see both your bands being pushed to perform last bc y'all're just GODS 🤩

WAIT EJDHJS yk how there's usually a little break between bands when performing & yoir bands play one after the other... i just imagined one of riki's drum solos in the end where you just sit down with him, get into it as well anD BOOM THERE YOU TWO ARE, THE MANIAC DRUMMER COUPLE K!LLING IT AS PER USUAL SDHKSHD all the while his bandmates try to get their stuff off the stage & yours prepare... in the middle of flying drumsticks HAJDBSJD sorry but the idea of stick tricks with e/o got stuck in my head 😭😭😭 flying drumsticks all over the stage while the rest are dodging them like fucking bullets (never tried it but bet it'd be just as bad 💀)

and then when riki's part's done & he gets up bet he'll probably look @ you like "fuck YEAH that's my cool s/o absolutely K!LLING it, AGAIN" before cartwheeling off the stage from the post-performance adrenaline & excitement of getting to watch you perform or something 😔💔 shhdjshd & backstage he'll be jumping & vibing along to everything you play then try catching your attention by doing dumb dances/funny faces in hopes you'd mess up so he can tease you about it later 😭💔 lmao he's lucky that 1. he has good reflexes & 2. we're talking about "y/n" here lol cause if it was me he began teasing in the way he teases like jay or the other guys, i'd literally throw my drumstick or like whatever's in my hand/closest to me like a sniper straight at his head 🕳🚶‍♀️

(ok ok maybe i should make it a bit less obvious i bias riki & just shut up but then my brain's like,,,, NO BUT IMAGINE- 😭😭😭 plus tmi: i miss performing sjfjjd my classmates & i were preparing for an inter-class battle of the bands but mfing covid happened RIGHT before the big day 😭 ok NOW ig i shout stfu 😭)

glad to know you had a good nap 😙 but like out of curiosity, what do you see enha as in like a band since we're talking band!au 👁👁

(also side note, i stalked your blog & found your mafia!enha works and love that so much too tf i love the way your brain works 😩✋)

- drummer anon 🤩 (fuck this got way too long sorry 💀)

seriously im like an open book with you it's so weird i love these hcs though I'm good w it

i think i love that phrase, i mean 'maniac drummer couple' sounds like a newspaper headline where they like murdered someone or smth dkdnskdnd

THATS SO CUTE RIKI AND Y/N JUST JAMMING INBETWEEN SHOWS AHHHHH everyone would be so annoyed about the actual missiles onstage but they're fucking adorable no one can stop them

riki cartwheeling off stage is canon now he cartwheels out of every room ahahaha

he also gives me the vibes of those people in high school theater who try distract the others in the wings (i def did) he'd be doing the MOST like full tumbling sequences in the curtain and pulling james bond moves to dodge imaginary (or real) drumsticks

i mean he's so obviously my bias too i daydream ab this au now dksundks

OH NO YOUR BATTLE OF THE BANDS i miss performing before covid too, like music and everything else it's so sad 😭

i kinda based their band off of one i had with some friends a year or so ago (i played keyboard and electric violin 😎) i hc heeseung as frontman/vocalist, jay electric guitar, jake as guitar/or violin since he plays it already, sunghoon as bass, sunoo as electric guitar, jungwon as a keyboardist, and riki on drums!! i figure all of them would do vocals as well but heeseung does most of the verses n stuff 👍

omg you like the mafia works??? i love that au so much thank you <333

[leeteukmakesmecry-blog]

Sooo I was tagged by the lovely @day6pilielove

Omg hi hello there!!!!! Nice to meet you!! I’m awkward too soooooo....let’s be friends!!!!!

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged

last:

drink: Coffee (literally the only thing I drink besides water)...☕️

phone call: My mum called me saying she had arrived to pick me up from work.😊

text message: My brother, telling him happy birthday 🎉

song you listened to: Havana by Camilla Cabello

time you cried: Ummm tmi...yesterday? Cause everything sucks and I hate everything. (I never cry but yesterday was a special case.)🙄

have u ever:

dated someone twice: Nope! I just don’t really date in general though...😄

been cheated on: I hope not!!

kissed someone and regretted it: Yep... I was drunk sooooo....

lost someone special: Yes💕

been depressed: Well I’ve never been diagnosed by a professional...😕

been drunk and thrown up: Yes. A couple of times and I hated it. One of the reasons I don’t really drink anymore.

in the past year have u:

made a new friend: Yes!!!! A few and I adore them! Therese I’m looking at you!!!💕💕💕💕

fallen out of love: I’ve never been in love for reals tho...💕

laughed until you cried: The other day at a Taememe (Taemin meme) I saw. 😂

met someone who changed you: Not that I know of? I’ve always been very strong in what I beliefe and my thoughts.

found out who your true friends are: I’ve never had many real friends, but they have always been by my side! 🌸

found out someone was talking about you: Nope

general:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Absolutely 0

do you have any pets?: Nope. I definitely want a billions cats and dogs. 😭

do you want to change your name?: My last name. But only a spelling change. My great great something grandma changed our French last names spelling because she didn’t like how it sounded. But I personally prefer the original so I eventually want to change it. ☺️

what time did you wake up this morning: 6:45 am when our apparently defective carbon monoxide detector set the alarm off... it was sooooo loud 🙄

what were you doing last night: working on homework and visa application stuffs.

excited for something: I’m leaving for Seoul in 2 and a half weeks omg!!!!! And giving my two weeks at work on Wednesday! Hallelujah I hate my current job. 😅

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: At University, I had 3 close friends named Tom. We literally called them Tom 1, 2 and 3.

what’s getting on your nerves right now: My visa applications process... It’s so annoying and confusing?!

blood type: Lol 🤷‍♀️? I have no clue? And I’m too lazy to go look right now...

nickname: Jules, Julie-bean, little-bit, and itty-bitty.

relationship status: Single forever and always 😭😭😭

zodiac sign: Aquarius

pronouns: She/Her

favorite show: Merlin

college: I graduated this past May 😊 with a BFA in Actingz

hair color: Dark Brown.

do you have a crush on someone: Taebb, Teukie and Jinki of course!!!!! 💕

what do you like about yourself: My ability to learn things such as languages quickly.

firsts:

first surgery: Never had any surgery.

first piercing: any earlobes when I was like 12. But that’s it.

first sport Soccer!!!⚽️

first vacation: Disneyland when I was a tiny human.

first pair of sneakers: I don’t remember?!

right now:

eating: Lunch with my mom at a cute little French Pattisserie

drinking: Chai Latte

i’m about to: Go to the dentist. 😭. I hate it so much!!!!!

listening: My mom talking about how she is going to miss me and my brother. 😥

want kids: Absolutely not. Never never never.

get married: Maybe? But probably not.

career: I’m leaving to teach English in South Korea. But long term career goal is to be a professional actor in with London or LA.

which is better:

lips or eyes: 👀

hugs or kisses: I like hugs better.

shorter or taller: Taller.

older or younger: It depends on the situation?

romantic or spontaneous: Spontaneous for sure.

sensitive or loud: LOUD!!!!!!

hookup or relationship: Can I say neither? But if I had to choose I would choose relationship.

troublemaker or hesitant: I’m super duper hesitant all the time.

have u ever:

kissed a stranger: Yep. One time at a nightclub in London....🤷‍♀️

drank hard liquor: Yes. And I think it’s all disgusting.

lost contacts/glasses: No. I don’t even use either of those anyways.

sex on first date: Nopety nope nope.

broken someone’s heart: Yes. My first boyfriend back in high school. Sorry dude...

been arrested: Nope

turned someone down: Yes. Many times.🙄

fallen for a friend: Nope!

do u believe:

in yourself: Sometimes!

miracles: Not really.

love at first sight: Eh. Not really?! At least I haven’t actually experienced it.

im tagging:

@myeonew @minhoswhitehair @sunshinelollipopsandyoungjae @thatfangirlkate

[allbeendonebefore]

What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta

[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]

so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess

so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio

Canon Stuff

literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)

also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))

Headcanon Stuff

ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious

- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet. 

- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place

- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)

- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.

- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him

- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs. 

- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’

- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]

- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between. 

- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad

- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense. 

- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them. 

- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’. 

- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]

- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.

- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.

- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.

- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE

- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions. 

- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.

- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.

- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].

- his fave cow is named buttercup

- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story. 

- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints. 

- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD

- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him. 

- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol. 

i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol

[elftwink]

oh my god my anon made tbs people big mad and i understand i get it! im actually a girl & lesbian i just oddly enough have a lot of trouble relating & empathizing to about 99% of women characters. sorry tmi i guess? but um to clarify on annoying i mostly mean irrational and not far along in recovery which is probably insensitive so sorry!

no i actually do get you this time! like i said since you’re an anon a vague message doesn’t prove your tbs opinions in the slightest but in the context me having no idea who you are & me being a dude, especially when i’ve talked about the women in tbs & misogyny before was not great! onus is 99% on me.

wrt to not relating to women characters i think thats a byproduct of how they’re usually written, which is not well, and it forms a habit thats hard to break even when faced with women who are well written. i used to talk about it more before i transitioned but its both a problem i’m conscious of so it happens less to me than it used to and its taken on a different context since i transitioned anyway so, like, if i were to say i can’t relate to female characters as a man it’s very different than you not relating as a woman & specifically as a lesbian, if that makes sense? 

thanks for clarifying! uhm, im not sure whether or not thats insensitive tbh? like on the one hand i personally #cantrelate bc i always found the process of recovery of the characters intensely relatable (not really specifically rose’s and chloe’s; i’ve always been more engaged by caleb’s and sam’s but either way), so thats clouded by my personal onion in this case so i don’t want to cast moral judgement. but on the other its probably good to recognize that it could be? which you’re already doing anyway so its a moot point

i mean in the end it really sounds like your personal opinion which, while it doesn’t exist in a vacuum and isnt exempt from being good or bad or what have you, this particular one doesn’t sound particularly harmful in way (unlike some other personal opinions of tbs fans kjshghkskjh i cannot go even one post without shading damien fans sorry lol). so while i disagree w/you i don’t necessarily think you have like. an Incorrect Opinion.