#probably specifically autism in women and girls

[kabretoss]

are you a social chameleon? or were you just taught early that your natural reactions are strange and out of step, so you constantly and reflexively norm your behaviours and your very feelings to the people you're currently with?

[depresseddepot]

trying to determine which parts of my relationship with sex are asexuality, which are trauma, and which are autism is like trying to have a conversation with three people talking loudly and all at once

[dadsbongos]

do u think u could write some of ur own personal headcanons for laios? i love the way u write him, it seems almost canon!

anon you dont know what fire youre messing with

also thank yew hehe :>

general headcanons:

Laios likes babysitting but does NOT want to be a real papa, he adores the idea of being the Cool And Strange Uncle but just imagining having to raise a whole person from scratch terrifies him

Usually conks out as soon as his head hits the pillow and he’s a damn heavy sleeper, he strikes me as someone that gets the dad snore when he’s a bit older

Likes doing physical activity in the moment, maintaining his stamina/strength n whatnot. But HAAATES the aftermath, he will not stop bitching about how gross he feels when sweaty

People scare him but I think men specifically scare him more than women because he mainly associates “men” with his old boarding school and military peers and his dad. Meanwhile the most callous woman he’s personally dealt with is like. his mom… who wasn’t particularly menacing and he doesn’t seem to resent her as much as he does his father

Most definitely called Chilchuck “chil” in their early days together and got his nuts sacked for the unintentional disrespect

Doesn’t drink often because the taste bugs him but when he does decide to, he drinks to get drunk. So it has to be a special occasion

The type of older brother to tell Falin food fills up your body from your feet to your head and when you’re full to your head you die

modern headcanons:

Definitely the type to unironically use little emoticons like :) or :] but his favorites are the cute ones like :3 , ^.^ , and :0

Would’ve played barbies with Falin as a kid and enjoyed it more than Falin did lol

If he were out with the group (marcille would have to threaten his life though, he would HATE “going out”) and Marcille or Falin deferred to him to deal with creepy men he’d feel like a superhero about it

Borderline mandated to have a high impact phone case by Falin because he’s GOT to be dropping that shit all the time. I just know it (projecting)

Would probably dislike resident evil as a series but thinks the premises are cool

Bouncing off that: he’s a big Undertale and Deltarune fan (definitely had a thing for Toriel at some point and probably thought sans was kind of overrated). Has ambivalent feelings towards fear & hunger, likes the atmosphere and item preservation and monsters but the assault scenes and overt brutalism ick him out from recommending it

Would go his whole life without an autism diagnosis until eventually held at metaphorical gunpoint by his friends, just for his parents to go “oh yeah we had you tested as a kid but didn’t want you using it as a crutch”

If monsters weren’t real he’d be cryptid autistic just so everyone’s on the same page

Cryptids major and ocean creatures minor type autism

I don’t think he’s straight by any measure but before he has the Realization, he’s the epitome of the girls gays and coleman meme

Segue omg: he has no desire to think more about his sexuality or gender than “i feel x” or “i choose y”. I think he identifies as Man(TM) but in a “its harder to explain i want to be a bog” way. If you referred to him with feminine pronouns or called him “girl” he seriously wouldn’t give a shit 

nsfw(?) headcanons:

Could never do casual, you would have to be committed or only know each other VERY distantly and only do it once. His ass wouldn’t know how to read your relationship if you were trying to do friends with benefits (he’s also very concerned with hurting people’s feelings so just the notion of accidentally doing that to someone he’s intimate with would kill him)

May seem strange coming from a bitch always talkin about fucking him, but I think Laios would actually have kind of a lower sex drive. Like he maybe doesn’t get needy very often but also isn’t NOT in the mood, so if you proposition him and he’s into you he’ll be like “okie :3”

That being said, when he does feel needy he’s NEEDY. It’s debilitating, he genuinely can’t do or think of anything else until his poor wee is taken care of :( poor guy aww

I can see him being a virgin until his early-mid 20s and having no shame about it (good for him go king, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of it literally doesn’t matter)

Also by virgin i mean rice purity test score of like 97

Swears he doesn’t like having his cock worshipped (says its weird and embarrassing) but he’s so flustered n drooly and babbles the whole time

Biter 

[blondwhxrewrites]

A/N: This is for all my autistic homies. I fucking love you guys 😘. Btw this is based on how autism shows itself in girls/women. Remember for all my autistic girlies, never ever feel sorry for being yourself ❤️

"Mattheo, I'm autistic." 

Mattheo looked at you, mouth agape. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you quizzically, obviously confused. "What's that?" he questioned, his head tilting slightly to the side. 

You stared at him, unblinking. "You don't know what autism is?" You asked, slowly processing his lack of information. Was wizard society really that far behind? Damn. You sighed, chewing on your lower lip. How was one supposed to explain autism to someone who has probably no idea what disabilities even are? 

"Well, Matty, to sum it up, I don't work like other people do," you tried to explain while sitting down next to him. "My mind works differently than yours and other people's." 

He watched you curiously, taking in your words and trying to make sense of them in his mind. "Is that supposed to scare me away because, darling, it isn't working? You're not getting rid of me." 

You laughed, shaking your head. "I mean, it might scare some people away, but no, that's not why I'm telling you this," you replied, your heart swelling with happiness at seeing his positive reaction. "I'm telling you this because I want you to know that being in a relationship with me will be different from other relationships you have been in before." 

Mattheo nodded, his foot repeatedly tapping the ground. "Well, I'm willing to learn. So lay it all on me, baby," he chuckled, his lips curling up in a smile as he looked at you. He watched as you wrung your hands together, and he reached out, grabbing one of your hands and squeezing it. "Darling, I'm being serious when I say I want to learn." 

Your shoulders went slack, and you let out a deep sigh. The nerves you felt slowly washed away with the assurance of his words. "Well," you began.

"I have a hard time with social cues and reading people. If someone is mad at me or annoyed, I won't be able to tell unless they specifically tell me that. While some people might be able to take hints, I can't really recognize them. I need you to be straightforward with me about your feelings." Your eyes darted to his, making sure he was listening before you continued.

"I can't handle loud and crowded places that well. They make me overwhelmed and overstimulated, and that can lead me to have a meltdown. Which is when my mind practically shuts down, or at least it feels like it, and I kind of regress during those. I can't speak or do anything, and I tend to hurt myself during those, like hitting myself. I also sometimes hurt others when they try to help me through my meltdowns. I don't mean to; I just can't really control what I do in those moments. Sometimes even the slightest of things can cause me to melt down or panic. If a change of plans happens, I can sometimes have extreme reactions to it that can derail my entire day. I'm not very good with change. I stim a lot, and sometimes it can look weird. Like, whenever I'm excited, you know how I jump up and down and flail my hands? That's me stimming. Repetitive motions, stuff like that. I also have a weird relationship with touch and intimacy. It depends on the person; for example, I feel comfortable touching you, but with Blaise, I don't. It changes a lot."

Mattheo listened intently to your words, nodding along and trying to make a mental checklist. All of this was important to you, and that meant it was important to him too. He didn't care how long this conversation would take, he was willing to hear everything you had about this.

"I go non-verbal sometimes, and I can't speak or talk for hours up to days. I literally can't talk, even if I want to. That usually happens after meltdowns or when I'm feeling really intense emotions. I have sensory issues and can't wear some clothes because of how they feel on my body. My relationship with food is basically non-existent. I can't eat some things because of how it feels, and sometimes I go selective eating, and it's really hard to eat anything else besides my safe foods. I also just sometimes forget to eat because I don't really process that I feel hungry unless I'm starving. I mask my autism a lot, hence why people sometimes think I'm lying when I tell them I'm autistic. I tend to copy other people unconsciously. That's why you see me and Pansy having a lot of the same little habits. "

You finished, your voice faltering as you looked at him nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. "There's a lot of other things, but that's like a pretty surface-level breakdown of it." You added, looking away from him and at the ground. "Oh, and also, if you see me not looking at you during conversations, it's not because I'm not listening; it's because I'm just not good with eye contact."

It was a lot of new information for Mattheo. He'd never considered the fact that people could, how did you say it, work differently? He'd have to ask you more about it during a later conversation. "I can work with that," he shrugged. 

Your lips curled up into a smile, and your eyes slowly lit up. "Really?" you asked, genuinely worried that he was just playing with you. 

"Well, I mean, obviously, I have a lot to learn still, and I'm probably going to make a lot of mistakes."

"Everyone makes mistakes," you interrupted him. 

He shushed you, playfully pressing his finger to your lips to stop you from talking. "What I'm trying to say is that your being autistic changes nothing to me. It's who you are, and I love who you are. I promise you, I'm going to try my hardest." 

You felt tears prick your eyes, and you nodded. "You have no idea how much that means to me, Matty," you sniffled, and you squeezed his hand. 

"Like I said before, darling, you're not ever getting rid of me."

[headspace-hotel]

hi, so i do have a question regarding trans people- i completely support trans people and people should have the right to do whatever they want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and i would never side with those who try to take away someone's autonomy. that being said, why do people want to be the specific genders(men, women)- what exactly does one feel? is it identifying with gender stereotypes? wanting the other kind of body? i can understand why someone would want to be enby, but can't seem to understand specific reasons why people would want to be transmasc or transfem etc. i've read posts before where people have wanted to be women/men because of gender stereotypes- they wanted to play with dolls/liked feminine/masculine colors/clothes etc. but it's obviously something that shouldn't be stereotyped against and anyone should be allowed to play/like anything they want to, whether it's feminine or masculine. so what exactly is it that makes people want to be either? again, though even if i didn't understand why someone else felt that way, i fully support them.

I'm not even transgender in any flavor so I'm not the best person to ask, but I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be individual for every person.

I think like, the larger society has latched onto the narrative of "I always wanted to play with 'girl' toys and do 'girly' things" because that's what makes sense to a cisgender audience in a culture where behavior and clothing and toys are very obviously gendered.

But that's not, like, what "makes" someone transgender—it's a way of explaining it.

I mean, okay, maybe I can talk about this a little. I'm a cis woman. I've thought about it! I like being female, it feels comfortable to me, and experimentally imagining anything else feels...bad.

This has nothing to do with gender stereotypes—I don't shave, I don't wear makeup, I usually cut my hair super-short, I'll wear my brothers' clothes if I like them, I always actively hated the "girl" toys as a kid (though I was never labeled a 'tomboy'—I feel like autism overpowered any specific gendered label that would otherwise apply to me, for complicated reasons. I was a Weird kid). It's just...I don't know. It's nice when one of my friends in chat in a game i'm playing calls me "she"—like hell yeah! Your mental concept of me is a girl :D

If anything, I started to feel more "woman" when I started dressing and styling more masculine—it was actually seeing pictures of butch lesbians online that made me see an image of myself I liked for the first time. I wanted to be a woman who's like a guy at the auto parts store.

I think some people just have no internal sense at all about their gender, and some of these people probably ID as non-binary, and some of these people probably just identify with whatever they were assigned because that's what's convenient. There are no wrong answers here, right?

And some people have a really strong unwavering internal sense about it, and it's not exactly able to be distilled down to feelings about your body or clothes or interests or whatever, but it exists. I know that I "feel" like a woman even though I couldn't say why. It's somewhere in between "this feels accurate" and "this feels nice."

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make the new hyperfixation post:

CRIMINAL MINDS:

I started watching it cause I was on the internet during the Dr Reid thirst trap era and let's just say a scrawny motherfucker with autism is the surefire way to get me to watch something

Especially when everyone is going through the horrors

I am in love with the format of the show, with the whole quotes and then different characters saying the quotes and the isolated cases with the slight hints of more background for each of the characters it's really keeping me going

I'm not great with gore and shit but like it's got shitty 2000s CGI so like it's easy to tell myself it's just actors with fake blood

Also listen I had to tap into my 9 yr old undiagnosed autistic obsessed with psychopaths phase at some point

It just tickles the right parts of my brain

Anyway the characters are why I stuck around

Gideon <3333 I love that strange walrus looking man I love how he's simultaneously such an emotional rock for everyone in the BAU but also dealing with his own things, he goes into each of the crimes with such calmness and compassion and I just love that weird old man especially when he introduced himself as Jason to the little girl he was saving in that one episode, i was like HE'S MAKING HIMSELF SEEM LIKE LESS OF A THREAT BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF WITH HIS FIRST NAMEEEE, HE'S TRYING TO PUT HER AT EASE

Hotch oh man it was one scene specifically that literally started my brainrot for this guy, I wasn't that into him in the first couple of episodes and then it was revealed that he was horrifically abused by his dad and actively chose to go into a pathway that would catch people like that and people who get abused and then go on to abuse others and I just. AH. i am such a sucker for any character who has endured things that no one ever should endure at the hands of another human being and then instead of becoming completely bitter and taking the eye for an eye mindset, they vow to make sure the cycle stops with them and they may not be all sunshine and daisies and instead rough a lot of the times but they do it and they do it realistically

He's got a wife and a kid!!! He did it!! He made a better life for himself and it makes me feel like I could too, he's so strong and I feel like my strength can one day be used for more than just survival

Elle!!!! God I love her I feel like she's so realistic for a woman in her field, she's smart and strong and capable and she acknowledges all the things she has going against her, she's compassionate to the female rape victims, she gets furious at the people targeting women in particular what i would do to be this woman's friend

Reid. Oh lord. Listen I'm not on the thirst trap train but I do understand the love for this guy. My love for him however stems from the autism. The whole wanting to be useful and only knowing how to through interests and hyperfixations and feeling like he's missing out on some things cause he's different

It was the hostage situation on the train that got to me he was just so REAL and it's so awesome to see autistic people succeed in stuff like this

It's also nice to see him accepted by the team for who he is

I do also like him cause he's cool but it's easier to explain the autism stuff

Garcia - wonderful amazing spectacular I love me a confident woman in stem

Morgan - i like how he's sort of the "cool guy" archetype but his whole thing is getting into the mind of the UnSub I feel like it gives him more depth

JJ - god she's so cool and calm under pressure I love her

So yeah. The BAU is my new comfort character crew I'm taking Elle with me everywhere

But also do I have major issues with the idea of behavioural analysis in crime? Absolutely. It is so insanely subjective the way they're going off of probability, the way their precedent probably lacks temporal validity and also population validity with both the androcentrism and ethnocentrism it does feel wrong to be coming to such a conclusion about the UnSub so quickly and decisively, even though I understand their whole thing is getting there quickly. I just know that categorising human behaviour is never as simple as it seems.

Do I think they tackle some of these issues in the show? Sort of. Am I also aware this is a fictional drama TV show and it may not be that deep? Yes.

Anyway

[velvetvexations]

The main reason I don't connect at all with having been younger is because my personality shifts are especially extreme and my autism was not well managed and I had no helpful adults in my life for a long time so I was in a really bad place for a really bad time. The only part of my life I feel anything but intense cringe or regret for starts in 2020.

I feel like I didn't experience manhood mostly because of that autism. I had zero friends and did nothing offline until high school, when I had one who was also kinna an outcast. He had a bunch of friends who weren't me but were mostly girls, idk if that reflects anything about him. The people I spent the most time with were my cousins who never treated me in an especially gendered way. I feel like my most masculine experiences were not getting to keep my hair long or play with Barbies.

Of course, logically speaking, I did probably benefit over an AFAB child at some point because I was thought to be a boy, but being thought to be a boy was itself damaging, so it overall was an L for both of us. Lotta damage to a lotta people in a lotta ways in this society.

Yet even still, I have so many masculine interests. Shonen anime shaped not just my life, but my personality. That's another way I feel a kinship with transmasc fujoshis, who look at men in anime and say "I want that for myself." I'm not a man but I understand being a girl and seeing that appeal. One might say that in my case it's just hitting it's target audience, it's normal for boys to model themselves after boys media, but idk! I'm not a boy! I, however, unlike other AMAB trans women who should never have to describe themselves this way if they don't want, am male. I am a male woman. I think a lot of transmasc people, who see themselves as female men or are non-binary,* can understand finding how a sense of "maleness" and womanhood can both fit together.

And it is specifically anime. Lately I've been more down with having a lot of body hair because I think it's hot for me as a male woman to have body hair, but I still hate facial hair aesthetically and think it's immensely uncomfortable to have for reasons that don't even have anything to do with gender. If I hadn't ever been into Dragon Ball specifically I probably wouldn't want to be buff, either. But how can I not, with this being the very peak of childish coolness to me?

Broly is transfem, btw. Akira Toriyama told me in a séance.

Most of the non-Dragon Ball men I wanted to model myself after still got called fags by philistines. Even Toriyama's style wasn't quite like Araki's early stuff, where men were huge hulking bricks of solid testosterone, because Toriyama's faces always had a soft cartoonishness to them. Now when people want to draw me I specify I want to be visibly AMAB but the two examples I use are a really clocky cis woman and icon of raw masculinity Chris Motionless.

So that's my experience growing up with a socially reinforced gender assignment.

*I don't consider myself non-binary because I see male as a flavor of girl in my case and not something separate

[mentholmuse]

The Last Of Us - Incorrect Quotes

Very Correct Actually | HBO Specific

Things that don't exist in TLOU Universe:

SHINee

Klance

Miranda's 'Cerulean Blue' speech

Australia (probs) (like aus is GONE the grain industry over here.... nah)

Wicked, post first show

Wicked loosing tony to Avenue Q

Ugg Boots on a red carpet

Me (2004 baby)

Star Wars Episode 3, and by extension mass bi awakenings

Star Wars OG Trilogy box set/being able to see carrie fisher in the mental bikini at home

The Hunger Games, ellie would have ate this UP for all the wrong reasons

World of Warcraft

Lord of The Rings 3rd movie

Swifties

Brexit

Europe Nation-States as a whole probably (baby thats cordycepsfalia now)

Facebook

Autism in women (pretty much)

Dissolving of the Asperger's Diagnosis

The Wii

The iPhone, but more interestingly Steve Job's insults

Fears abt the world ending in 2012 bc of the Mayan calendar

4Chan

Any imaging from the Hubble Telescope (launched DAYS before outbreak day) (that's kinda poetic honestly like you want to venture out. okay, well so do cordyceps)

the term "baby bump" according to wiki

flash mobs

The Kardashians™️

Shrek 2

Spider-Man 2

Howl's Moving Castle

Attack on Titan the manga

GTA 5

The idea of GTA 6

Lost

Michael Jacksons death (as we know it)

"Bimbo Summit"

The Notebook

Paris Hiltons Music career

Bling Ring

My Immortal (fanfic)

Ao3

Wattpad

DSM-5

My Parents Marriage

Teen Vouge

That one vanity fair cover with all the 2003 it girls

Legally Blond 2

Charlie's angel 2

Scooby Doo 2

Madonna and Britney Spears kiss

Britney Spears conservatorship (Britney would FUCK UP some infected)

Beyoncé's solo career (aside from first album) (she won FIVE grammys in 2004)

Ellie being an NCTizen (i just see it)

In Da Club -50 Cent

Smosh

Youtube as a whole (i feel like sarah would have liked tarot card readings on youtube and joel would also secretly eat them up)

the resolution that an american politician was the one to leave a hit and run, dead dear in the middle of a park (arent the Kennedys basically american royals. yalls royals are wild, mine just 'secretly' assassinate each other)

SPF 50+

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban again en mass awakenings... liking wolfstar, wolfstar roleplayers, liking kinda along hair nerdy guys, liking girls who punch ppl like draco malfoy in the face.

dare i say movie adaptation drarry stans

the marauders fanon

Ashley Simpson lip syncing scandal

NippleGate

Solo Gwen Stefani

Yeah! by Usher, lowkey i think this song would have been Joels guilty pleasure

Jojo Siwa

Desperate Housewives

Pretty Little Liars the concept as a whole

Napoleon Dynamite (#voteforpedro)

Barbie and Ken Divorce

Reddit

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Dr Spencer Reid

My crush on Dr Spencer Reid

Mggs mockumentary

Mgg modeling picks we only see in his mockumentary

Hillary Duff "Do you know what you say" (TV Ellie would 10000% call things gay*)

Tom Cruise scientology controversy

cancel culture... all though i think FEDRA is their cancel culture

any publicly elected president in america ever again

kevin rudd sorry speech

julia gillards speech

gay marriage (in australia and in all american states)

hashtags

twitter

jihyo being a kpop trainee

girls generation

bang chan being australian potentially

the gabby hannah show.... and poetry, and music....

my chemical romance*

amy winehouse

honourable mention kinda :

could you imagine thinking the world was gonna collapse in 2000 bc of, y2k, 2001 bc of 9/11 or 2012 bc of the mayan calendar but it was 2003 instead. evolution just couldn't handle wonyoungs impending beauty apparently

there are probably a lotttt of coeliac people in post outbreak TLOU universe

[saintverse]

forgive me on possible poor wording on this post (suggestions and discussion are welcome and open) i'm really not feeling well right now and i struggle with articulating myself because of brainfog.

tumblr is an echo chamber but if you say that you're accused of being a fascist or whatever when it's just plainly and simply true. it's genuinely wonderful to have an online space dominated by autistic people and leftists but the disadvantages of such a space rear their head quite quickly when you think about it for more than five seconds.

(there is NOTHING inherently wrong with the way autistic people think vs allistic people think, merely i think a lot of us struggle with the same issues that can sometimes inhibit our understanding of the world around us and experiences different from our own)

autism being the norm is fun and cool until you try to explain the nuances of like, for example, online behavior. because i think a lot of us struggle with black or white thinking that goes unquestioned and it can lead to really unhealthy habits. like yeah terfs are shitty people and we should reject their ideas, but spending your spare time sending random people on the internet gore is really weird, is giving them more attention than they deserve, and is overall a waste of time that can't be good for your mental health. and if you explained to anyone offline that one of your hobbies is sending gore or suicide baiting people on the internet, even with those people being bigots, they will be weirded out. it's not healthy to put that much emotional energy into your oppressor. it's just weird. go for a walk or something, girl. i can't watch this.

(creating public campaigns against specific terfs just gives them more of a platform and a weird victim complex. most importantly, you're putting your transfem friends and mutuals in danger by exposing them to this shit and giving transmisogynists a way to find them!)

(i don't say any of this to be shitty about autistic people i just think our brains are wired or whatever to make it really easy to fall down weird pipelines. hence why 4chan was filled with a lot of autistic white dudes. a lot of us are fairly susceptible to rhetoric if it goes unquestioned and aligns with our personal unchallenged world views.)

another example, if you say the r slur in real life everybody is just going to think you're saying the r slur. the average person (who also is chill with the r slur and probably uses it themselves) will be like haha yeah. and the average autistic or intellectually disabled person will be like oh good god i need to stay away from them. but for some reason people on here think they can reclaim the r slur by using it as a slur online (especially when they themselves are NOT intellectually disabled and have ZERO right to reclaim that term). you've all been infected by 4chan brain and you don't even see it because you've convinced yourself being a coldhearted edgy bully is cool and that being shitty to, for example, people with social anxiety is funny and aligns perfectly with your progressive persona (you reblog posts about social justice but you're a dick to everyone you've ever met and you have no friends because you're a negative person who is genuinely unpleasant to be around)

image credit goes to: @batmanreturnsnineteenninetytwo

and did you know that randomly deciding to make asexuals or polyamorous people (people who deviate from the norm) the butt of your jokes and calling them freaks and shit is actually progressive? everyone has just been slowly and slowly becoming more mask off disgusting and it's wild to me. on tumblr.com, you people are being shitty to anyone who deviates from the norm? i mean. who am i kidding. this website hates trans women and people from the global south more than anything so i haven't believed tumblr was a truly "forward-thinking" space since i was a naïve young teenager.

people who lose their shit about tankies. people who clutch their pearls about misandry and "transandrophobia"... people who accuse all palestinians of being scammers. people who send suicide bait and debate with bigots they should really be ignoring. people who make fun of people with a complicated relationship with sex or with social anxiety. you freaks are everywhere and you're all ridiculously reactionary, you just dress it up as progressivism and how to be cool on the internet or whatever. i'm SOOOOOOOO tired...

100% a line of thinking inspired by this very spot-on post, as well as the interaction that had in the comments with @deepseasmetro - thank you!

tumblr is a flimsy ego-boosting platform that's filled with bullies who hide behind their politics and relationship with oppression meanwhile they don't give a fuck about anyone who has less than them, who has it worse than them. it's all about the oppression olympics, looking cool, and punching down. obviously most of us with a head on our shoulders know this already but it truly never ceases to astound me tbh 😐

it's the same people posting inspiring poetry & textposts about kindness and love and small animals that are out here telling teenagers to kill themselves!

anyway. while you're here please donate to hamada and mohammed and heba and her father bakr ⭐️

[thatfanficauthor107]

KARASUNO QUEER (AND DISABILITY??) HEADCANONS WOO

Daichi - starting off strong with my literal fave. Trans FTM and He/Him (WOO) because I self project, and bisexual male-lean because bisexual daichi is *chefs kiss* Transmale daichi is very important to me.

Has asthma, uses an inhaler (that suga covered in stickers the moment he saw it). Also has problems with his knee joints, especially his left, and often has to use a stick outside of school (but I do love a hc of amputee daichi using a prosthetic leg knee-below on his left.) Oh and he has some form of AuDHD probably (never been tested) oh and insomnia

Suga - not sure for this guy because I don’t actually know. Probably Nonbinary or Genderfluid, He/him pronouns but probably doesn’t care, likely fw They/Them too Also gay/likes boys/boy kisser mwah

has a condition that made his hair loose colour at a really young age, used to be hazel-y brown. used to be insecure about it.

Asahi - *foaming at the mouth* love this guy a normal amount. Either a cis guy or demi, maybe agender. Frankly i love almost every asahi gender hc. (Transfem asahi i love you but sadly dont hc) Pansexual. Likes the person, gender is just…there ig.

Anxiety Disorder, self esteem issues, depression, :((

Noya - transmasc, he/they pronouns. frankly uses anything but she most days. bisexual. has kissed ryuu behind the gym before.

ADHD.

Tanaka - cis male, probably, but i LOVE transmale tanaka tbf. also bisexual. Kissing Noya made him realise some things. Had claimed to be the token straight for a while. Has also kissed Yamamoto

ADHD again

Ennoshita - A STRAIGHT! nope. Bro is the bisexual guy who everyone thinks is an ally. he’s only such an ‘ally’ cause hating the gays would be hating himself He/him, cis male.

Has issues with his shoulder joints, nothing bad, they just hurt alot

Narita - Cis guy tbf, he/him, also gay as balls. had a FAT crush on daichi for a while. (same bb)

Celiac disease. Not too fussed by that, though does miss pastries (not really a disability but ehh)

Kinoshita - kisses boys. not too fond of labels, bro fucks with most pronouns, and he will wear a skirt. Has practiced kissing with Narita. Probably poly too (i need poly rep)

lactose intolerant (you bet your biscuits he ignores that) (ik this is another food allergy)

Kageyama - gay but didn’t realise it forEVER (*talking about hinata to miwa* “dude you’re gay?” “what the fuck is that” *cue one explanation later* “…oh shit.”) He/him pronouns but poor bb doesn’t understand much.

Dyslexia, Anger Issues, mild Anxiety

Hinata - He/him, probably trans FTM, tried some neopronouns for a while a didn’t hate them. Pansexual too. Look me in the eyes and tell me he would care about the gender of his lover. Exactly, you can’t.

ADHD part three, Dyscalculia

Tsukki!!! - my og self-projection. (*screaming*) Trans FTM, He/him pronouns STRICTLY (feels dysphoric otherwise). Gay as hell bro. Has kissed Tadashi before for ‘practice’.

Autistic, (probably AuDHD tbf), hypermobile, insomniac

Tadashi - AMAB, nonbinary, pansexual. Simple. Had a phase where he used a ton of specific and often unknown labels. Comfortable with his identity now.

General Anxiety Disorder.

Yachi - lesbian. Tell me she isnt. no im not listening to your argument. cis girl, she/her, but will respect your pronouns till the day she dies and beyond.

Social Anxiety.

Kiyoko - Also a lesbian. Had a boyfriend in middleschool that was so horrible she took one look at women and never looked back (definitely not a self projection…heh…) also she/her but isn’t fussed with they.

Didn’t learn to speak as a child until quite late on in her childhood. Not a disability but yk

Takeda - TRANS FTM RAH i love tranny ittetsu im sorry. i just love my ftm rep, and him. He/him pronouns because they feel affirming to him. always has period stuff stocked up in his bag for his trans and female students (*sobs*)

Autism. WOO

Ukai - He/him, cis male (though i do fw a ftm hc of him occasionally). He claimed to ‘not gaf’ about the whole ‘LGTQB-whatever-the-fuck bis’,’ cause it didn’t affect him. (since meeting ittetsu and coaching a team of fruitbowls and transformers, he’s secretly memorised as much as he can)

Claims he doesn’t but needs hearing aids. (He had to get them before his grandfather did and never once had had a moment of peace about it from Ukai senior.)

:)

[listlessnessss]

do my fellow autohomoerotics experience anything similar?

alloandrophilic life cycle:

1.alloandrophilia predictably hits, target is typically a cis man, sometimes a deeply repressed proto-trans woman (it’s easier when it’s parasocial but unfortunately it’s IRL sometimes—sometimes like a lesbian, i choose an unavailable one). the feeling is good, typically, and i have auto-androphilia for him, too. the kind of man i’m attracted to is usually one i’d want to emulate. also the fantasies are super predictably auto-homoerotic as fuck (the idea is i’d also be a guy)

2.I learn that i’m objectively inferior to him because i am (and sometimes it’s because he’s normie in addition to male) i used to approach, but have given that up in recent years after repeated rejections. i get angry, internally, but don’t let it go anywhere. violent thoughts towards myself and others, inc. target. he would also never accommodate my delusions, my sexuality is estrogenic so i think about the future and realize that obviously anyone who is attracted to me is attracted to women and not to autohomoerotic ftms. my blackpills tell me that even well adjusted bi men wouldn’t.(this is due to my horrible personality, so it’s specific to me) i absolutely cannot approach my latest target, it would be inviable due to other unrelated incompatibilities but i won’t get too into that—doesn’t stop the cycle from proceeding.

3.i have thoughts of suicide every day. i rarely can cry, but then i do. (i’m not on testosterone or anything i’m just repressing) for how long these thoughts last depends on how far it got with my delusions. i’m really good at making the cycle go by quickly—classic comphet, i guess i have this in common w the type 1’s. but when i actually have gotten the opportunity to be one of his orbiters, it lasts longer—i’m usually so inferior to his other orbiters. i feel guilty for implicating him.

4.i retreat into a ground state of asexuality, hyper-romantic fanfic-tropey bihet female sexuality. this is my equilibriated comfort zone. of course, i still repress and carry in me intense cross-sex desires. i realize that i am too highly feminine in my thinking- i catch feelings, i’m emotional as fuck, i’m fembrained as all hell, not built for what i perceive from across the cultural and physiological aisle as the casual, animalistic, cult of physical beauty which everything about my socialization and my nerdy femcel predilections has told me i would never in a million years fit into (and on this point i’m right). I have a horrible body and personality, so i find myself falling back on the tropes of cis womanhood when realistically thinking of enticing targets, where almost zero for (gay ftms? they/them perhaps?) exist. I start recovering from my fixation on my alloandrophilic target, and make a return to woman with a private daydream.

written just now in a moment of self-awareness i think… like genuinely what the fuck is wrong.

is this just suicidal or am i a lesbian all along. do others… like me… experience something similar… is this what it feels like to supposed to have been a man yet have a sex drive dominated by estrogen or is this a secret 3rd worse thing? or AUTISM probably? this should be included in a write-up on autistic girls and how we think. i’m throwing things at the wall in the hopes something sticks wrt my guesses here.

is is just me?

[wesavegotham]

Trying to explain to your parents that no "most other people to do not have their brains constantly go into overdrive trying to figure out when you should smile, not smile, laugh, not laugh, hold eye contact" is not normal, other people can do this just naturally apparently is fun (as in: no it's not).

Other people also do not own a whole big bookshelf full of books about trains (my dad. I once tried to talk to them about autism, the research I did into the topic and when I mentioned that a lot of tests are very outdated, do not really work for girls or adult women because it shows up differently in them and then mentioned that the tests still include questions like "is the person obsessed with trains" because one little boy a scientist did research one ages ago had trains as his special interest so he figured all people on the spectrum must like trains and made it a criteria to determine if someone had autism...and sure that's not a good criteria, but we all looked to that bookshelf.)

Or at least two bookshelves full of books about the history of fashion (my mom). And at least another big one just about art history.

Nobody needs that many books about these topics. It's not even relevant to their jobs. My university library does not have these many books on any specific topic.

Also I still remember how at my brother's wedding we were all shocked to hear that his friends thought my brother was introverted and we always thought he was clearly an extrovert at least compared to us.

I'm not a psychiatrist either, but there is clearly something very odd about us and it's probably undiagnosed autism at least for some of us.

[eos0anemone]

Analysis: Genshin Impact Autistic characters - KOKOMI

This is going to be a section in my blog talking about which Genshin characters I think fit very well inside the autism spectrum. If we know Hoyoverse's record, we know that they're not autism friendly (*cof cof* cure for autism in Tears of Themis *cof cof*) but well, neurotypical people accidentally writing neurodivergent characters happens a lot, and at the end of day, it is free to our own interpretation how we see them.

I want to open this section with my favourite Genshin character: Sangonomiya Kokomi. I relate to her a lot (partially the reason why I'm convinced she's autistic) but keep reading if you want to know specifically why I think she is.

INTRODUCTION

Kokomi is a 5 star character, Hydro catalyst from Inazuma. Lorewise, she is Watatsumi's Divine Priestess; in other words, the leader of Watatsumi Island, a small town that relies a lot on fishing and agriculture to subsist.

In terms of 'waifu-uwu', Kokomi is your average overworked waifu who shows a shy demeanor, steady leadership but delicate presence. Is very feminine presenting, has a quirky military side and shows a soft spot for traveller, probably because she falls in love with him too (and yeah, I talk specifically about Aether because we know who thinks this way). A lot of western people, especially men, also reduce her to this stereotype common in Genshin Impact women.

However, we can take some more steps and see in depth everything that Kokomi has to offer.

HYPERFIXATIONS

One of the aforementioned cliches is actually true: Kokomi is an overworked woman, but not in the same way as Ganyu or Keqing, for example. While they overwork themselves because they seem to enjoy being occupated or feeling useful, Kokomi's job is a responsability that she actually doesn't wan't: just by reading her voice-overs (More About Sangonomiya Kokomi: IV), we discover that what she really wanted to do was study military strategy and become an adviser.

And this is one of the most interesting points about Kokomi: she loves military strategy. While some people reduce it to a quirky trait, I think it can be clearly interpreted as an autistic hyperfixation. Not only Kokomi is presented to us as a girl who is an expert on this field (Archon quest was so horribly written that it doesn't do her justice, but canonically she is very smart and a strategy master), but she also tells us on voice-overs that she loves military books the most (Chat: Reading), and wanted it to be her full-time job.

The least we can say is that it is her passion, one that fuels her motivation so much, just like how autism or writing fuels mine to the point of wanting to work on that field and enjoying it on my spare time or when I'm regulating myself.

BURNOUT AND MASKING

In relation to the last point, there's another reason as to why Kokomi preferred to be a military advisor rather than the island leader: social interaction.

As stated in both voice-overs and her quest, social interaction exhausts Kokomi to the point she 'gets negative'. She also tells us (Sangonomiya Kokomi's Troubles) that she's not good at communicating with others, and that putting on her Divine Priestess airs helps her with it. Kokomi is a clear case of a women who does masking in order to survive socialization with other people, and in this case, her being a figure of authority well-respected and loved by her people helps her a lot with the interactions she's forced to endure day by day. I see myself on this, because I too feel more at ease interacting with other people if I have a title that gives me clues about how others will be talking to me (being the class rep, an administrator...) but it still exhausts you, and usually it is even more tiring because you have to keep up to extra expectations. The 'getting negative' references being so burn out that you can't keep masking anymore, making you seem gloomy/uninterested/rude/clueless.

In Kokomi's quest Dracaena Somnolenta, we learn that when Kokomi is too tired of social interaction, she hides for a while on a cave where she sleeps and reads books in solitude. That is decompression. All autistic people need it to regulate their bodies and mind.

For Kokomi, this decompression time is very important, but also a secret she has. Social interactions represent a sensory overload for her, and we can see it on her dialogues during Dracaena Somnolenta, especially when we go find her to the cave:

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Oh... you noticed? I guess I haven't quite mastered the ability to hide how I'm feeling. I'll keep working at it... (masking)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: To be honest, I'm not really cut out to be a leader. At first, my dream was to read up on military strategy and perhaps become an adviser. (another hint to her hyperfixation)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: Constantly communicating with people, trying to retain their morale, having to read between the lines, making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve... It's such hard work. (more masking, she has to force herself to do all these things because it doesn't naturally come to her)

(...)

Sangonomiya Kokomi: So whenever I feel overwhelmed, I come here to just lose myself in a book and relax for a while... (decompression)

Kokomi also explains that she uses spoon theory to regulate her energy. Spoon theory is a method created by Miserandino and it is used to ration our energy during the day. So yeah, Kokomi literally uses for herself a method that is directed to disabled people; whether it is autistic individuals, people with chronic illneses and pain, etc.

In her case, she writes it on her diary, adding or substracting points according to the tasks she has done and the events that happened to her. Traveller, whether it be Aether or Lumine, seem to be an individual that Kokomi trusts and feels comfortable with; so much that their presence doesn't disregulate her, but actually does the opposite. I don't like to think of it as a romantic thing, but rather as a platonic neurodivergent bond that they both share with each other.

A cute detail is that she also speaks loudly about those energy points with people she trusts, like Traveller and Paimon. I think it's beautiful when neurodivergent people feel free to explain out loud the 'weird' things they do after enduring so much masking.

SENSORY REGULATION

Although I already touched the most important points as to why I think Kokomi is autistic, there are some others I want to emphasize, being one of them sensory regulation and disregulation.

Kokomi is clearly disregulated by social interaction, and uses reading books, resting alone and militar strategy as a decompression mechanism. She also enjoys diving, and as she says, it fills her heart with peace even if the world underseas isn't bright and sunny like the dry land. Water can be very pleasant for some autistic people due to the stimuli and the temperature (I, for example, love swimming but hate being wet and wrinkled afterwards), and I like to think that, when Kokomi is at her limit, she goes diving to calm her mind (this is a headcanon lol, unless I missed something on lore).

Kokomi also dislikes seafood (fish, crustaceans...) and it's funny because I also hate seafood due to it's texture and flavour. Her favourite food, Bird Egg Sushi, is described by her as both 'simple' and 'simple to prepare'. Now I could be analyzing too deeply, but autism and sensory problems with food usually go hand in hand, making us prefer the simplest food possible and avoiding dishes with too much things on them, strong flavours or unpredictable textures... So yeah, Kokomi also fits this.

JUSTICE AND MORALS

Kokomi is leader of Watatsumi Island and goes against the Vision Hunt Decree that Raiden Shogun imposes on Inazuma. As she states on her voice-over (About Raiden Shogun) she doesn't feel rightfully to categorize or criticize Raiden Shogun's actions as good or bad. However, as she fights against it for the welfare of her people, we can assure that she does fight back against things she considers an injustice, even if it burns her out; just because that's what is right.

She also shows a great worry about all her people. If it's raining, she thinks about the fishermans who may not be able to return. The soldiers that died under her charge are in her mind even when she has agreed to not talk about them out loud. That should ideally be the average prototype of a leader, but just by watching Raiden Shogun we can agree that it is, in fact, not it. Seeing Kokomi, a woman who dislikes social interaction and burns herself to fulfill her duty, being at the same time so empathetic, considerate and kind to her people is something I see in a lot of neurodivergent people. The urge to please and help others the best you can do, even if it means sacrificing yourself in the process; not healthy at all, but so pure at the same time.

Kokomi also says something interesting on one of her voice-overs (Chat: Fish) which is that 'respect must be given to the will of every creature'. It is no mistery that she loves sea creatures so much, and I also think that the reason she dislikes seafood is because of this same thought about respecting all lives in nature. Not a very important point, but worth to mention.

I think I covered all the points I wanted to talk about, but if I forgot about anything, I'll update the analysis and add it.

There are a lot of characters I want to talk about apart from Kokomi (Albedo, Alhaitham, Sucrose, Freminet, Fischl, Noelle, Chongyun, Shenhe...) but I will take it slow to bring them all here. Autism spectrum is so colorful and endless that each character has significant but different traits, and I'll cover them up little by little.

This is the end of the post, I will return tomorrow with more things to say.

But here's a little cute Kokomi ❤️

[simcardiac-arrested]

Whats wrong with predator 2018?

it’s been like 10 days i’m tired but i CANNOT stay silent anymore The world deserves to know. you will not believe how awful this movie is

1. the moment the movie starts you just understand that it…is not going to be good. it was made in 2018 so of course it has that edgy self aware marvel humor of Uhmm he’s right behind me isn’t he ? (and then you check shane black’s other works and he directed iron man 3 and everything suddenly make sense) LIKE IM SERIOUS there’s just a scene in the first 10 minutes where this Woman In Stem character goes Lol why did we name this thing The Predator? it’s more like a Hunter or a Huntsman it’s more like a Bass Fisherman LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHAT AM I HEARING RN? it’s so fucking stupid and i hate this type of humor so much like CAN U BELIEVE WE’RE IN A MOVIE? ABOUT THE PREDATOR (DUMBASS NAME (LOL))????

2. i mention the Woman In Stem character specifically because she is. also not good. i’m not going to act like the predator movies have always been the best with female characters (even 1987 has its issues) but at least they were actually BEARABLE. The girl character in this movie is just like. this annoying 2010s smartass quirky girl archetype that we put in our movie because you wanted Women(tm) right? there she is we even made her quirky!!! we’re not going to give her a single likable quality though. we’re going to write her Bad . is this what u wanted ?

3. which is not trying to imply that the other characters are written Good . they’re all written Bad they all fucking suck. none of them have any charm or likable qualities and there’s nothing to get invested in. AND THEY DON’T HAVE ANY FUCKING DYNAMICS BETWEEN EACHOTHER!!!! it’s like they just exist in the same space and that’s It . they don’t get any interesting relationships or interactions . they’re all just so nothing

4. like halfway through the movie it just turns into unapologetic US army propaganda—which is fucking ironic if you know what the original predator was made for (commentary about american terrorism in central america in the 80s under reagan)—the main character’s wife just starts suddenly going off about how he’s so cool and doing so much for his country and he’s in the army waowww wowww We need to shoot everyone who’s worked on this movie and im serious.

5. i…..do not know who this movie was made for. like who is it supposed to cater to? one of its main things is autism and mental illness and yet it has the shittiest portrayal of both. But especially autism. like what if we made a movie about how autism is the next step in human evolution (?!) and autistic people are like superheroes basically (?!?!!!?) and the entire plot hinges on the fact that The Predator wants to become autistic by stealing the autistic character’s autism dna (?!?!?!?!?!?!?? WHAT? WHY ARE THERE EUGENICS IN MY PREDATOR MOVIE? IS ANYONE ELSE SEEING THIS?) (and then the autistic character in question like. actually has unironic superpowers. look he gets overwhelmed by sounds but he can instantly understand and translate predator’s alien language!!!!!!!!) And then the next minute one of the characters says Lol isn’t it crazy how we can’t say the r slur anymore? Fucked up world. LIKE SERIOUSLY WHO IS THIS MOVIE FOR? I FEEL LIKE THIS MOVIE WOULD PISS OFF BOTH THE “WOKE” AND THE “EDGY ALT RIGHT” AUDIENCES EQUALLY . shane black probably thinks autism speaks is a charity i dont even know

6. too much predator in this movie. When i say that they should make a predator movie where every scene has the predator in it YOU SHOULDNT FUCKING LISTEN TO ME IM JUST AUTISTIC. a predator movie is a THRILLER The Fucking Predator himself should appear like. a few times at least until the climax. but nooo this 2018 ass movie just has the predator running around in every scene (btw this predator moves really fucking weird in a human way. Like they usually at least make him move semi alien-like and uncannily, but this movie didnt even bother with that) (also their design is uglier than the original) (also it suffers from the same problem as the 2010 movie by adding a Bigger Cooler Buffer Awesomer Deadlier New Predator LIKE WHO ASKED FOR THIS. WAS MY OG WIFE NOT ENOUGH FOR U) Anyway yeah if you didnt get it yet: this movie doesnt understand what impact or subtlety is. at all

7. the worst thing is with the finale. you see every predator sequel loves to reference the original 1987 movie because well, it’s iconic! it has a lot of meaningful moments and lines! Specifically in the ending of the original movie, where the main character asks the predator “what the hell are you?” and the predator echoes it back at him. Supposed to symbolize us army = monsters who kill without meaning yadda yadda u get it. anyway so in the 2018 movie finale they start to reference this moment too. the main character asks And what the fuck are you (ooo f bomb we’re SOOOO edgy and 2018core) and when the predator starts asking it back the main character just goes SHUT THE FUCK UP😂 and shoots him. it’s like. my hatred for this movie was indescribable at that moment. I’ve never actually genuinely watched a marvel movie so i just took people at their word when they said it was a genre of movie that fucking hated movies. but after watching the predator (2018) which is basically a marvel version of predator? yeah i get it. What if they made a movie that hated its source material and had 0 respect for it. and also hated its audience. and hated being a movie

8. they made the dogs ugly

[boatemboys]

its so silly to me (read: help no why do ppl why) go " yeah agree with marcille that man clearlyy didn't love falin jusg the idea of her that he made up in his mind" and like just trying to make it sound like toshiros lil crush was more of an insane obsession / objectification deal when he was clearly like... he didnt even fall in love like immediately. hes "weird" abt it as in he just straight up proposes and didnt actually say anythign else because hes silly like that (autism...)

like leave him be he just thought she was cool for being fine and normal about bugs (he is tha bug liker) and also thought that she was rlly nice like her voice and how she treated others... girly (toshiro) did not fall for falin just to like elope and have sexy times with her or whatever !!! 26 yr old man first crush !!! like let him live +--#+#-$! sorry for the long ask he is just the silly. living in my mind rent free

he is silly ur right........... i do kind of (key words KIND OF) get what people mean cuz like. yeah it is a little weird for a guy to ask to marry you before even a relationship. but. there is this great and wonderful thing. called CONTEXT!!!!!!!!!!! it genuinely feels like theres a collection of dunmeshi fans who actually havent read it and like it based off of panels they see posted out of context. i was scrolling thru his tag earlier and i saw someone asking does he even like bugs or was he just obsessed with falin? HE LIKES BUGS!!!!!!!!

look at him. little guy. and i think the objectification thing comes from falin boob scene probably? cuz hes staring. but its been blown like wayyy out of proportion to the point where if u werent in fandom u would think hes an acutal creep. ive said it before but i think the toudens vs toshiro is infantalized autism vs demonized autism. with falin specifically its how everyone sees her as this helpless girl and i would say making toshiros attraction to her creepy too? and then marcilles attraction cute because women are also infantalized so its not CREEPY SCARY MAN!!! its cute girl :). but this isnt about that.

i think theres also this thing about the proposal. that i havent had fully formed thoughts about. but. i think its once again a thing about looking at dunmeshi with an exclusively western lens. because YEAH from a western lens a man you arent super close with proposing to you out of nowhere. weird. but for toshiro im pretty sure thats. not entirely "normal" per se but a bit less weird for sure? HOWEVER i need to look more into things before saying anything concrete.

theres also some people who think he hated laios for the same reasons he loved falin which i think. is wrong. to some degree! i can kind of understand as i guess on a very surface level laios is like falin x100 but if u read with ur eyes actually open i do think theres more than enough differences for this to be a little dumb. idk it makes me feel actually insane we must work together to defeat all toshiro haters

[gayestcowboy]

sorry for fire emblem on main but one of the first things i realized while replaying fe3h after 3+ years is how incredibly obvious it is that mercedes has adhd. and i feel like i’ve never seen anyone say it before! like every time she describes herself i’m like damn i wonder where i’ve heard this before! so many of her adhd symptoms manifest in the same ways mine do. back when fe3h first came out i saw people speculating about linhardt, felix, and other (male) characters having autism but never adhd for anyone regardless of gender. and yeah i’ll say it i think i’ve probably never seen anyone mention mercedes having adhd because she’s female! and adhd symptoms in girls/women are overlooked irl and female characters in general are frequently overlooked in fandom!

quite a few characters in three houses have very clearly and specifically depicted disorders (dimitri’s psychosis and ptsd, marianne’s depression, bernadetta’s anxiety, etc) and i think a lot of other characters can also very easily be read as having adhd or autism! mercedes almost certainly has adhd in my opinion, as well as annette, and i also suspect dimitri and bernadetta may have autism as well alongside other commonly autistically headcanoned characters like linhardt and felix. as someone with both adhd and autism i do really wish more folks in fandom talked about adhd and autism characteristics in female characters in particular!! thank you for coming to my lecture