#probably on my list of top most infuriating things ever
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reason number 147 that I tend to have grievances with white lgbts: comparing their stupid trivial online identity discourse to literal white surpremacy, colonialism, and fascist ideologies
#I cannot express to you the amount of times people of color have been used as scapegoats for their shitty arguments#had indigenous peoples suffering compared to so called “invaders” of the queer community who “use labels the wrong way”#and it's been especially common now zionism is being talked about more often#a new word for bad person that people can baselessly apply to people#and compare some group they disagree with to even if it has absolutely nothing to do with it like at all#probably on my list of top most infuriating things ever#queer#lgbtq#poc#bipoc#racism#discourse
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What horror games have you played/wanted to play? Also have you tried any rpg maker horrors?
I actually don't play that many horror games, I don't think? Between you and me most of them are... Kind of garbagee. But I like when really weird things are taken dead seriously, which most video games don't succeed at. But in the rare time they DO, it usually falls into the "horror" genre at least loosely. I'm just going to list my favorites:
PS: I'm really showing how insufferable I am with these summaries, sorry!
The Outlast series: the most Tasteful tasteless gory-shit-fest of a horror series I've ever seen. I don't like shock for the sake of shock, and Outlast somehow manages to always make it for the sake of SOMETHING. The original game+DLC is a buttload of fun, and if you pull back one layer it also poses some interesting and difficult questions about the place and treatment of the criminally inclined in society. Pull yet another layer back and you find a fascinating subversion of the expected role men are supposed to inhabit in horror games. The second game is a vastly different, and profoundly emotional experience, opinions on it vary for reasons I find very understandable, but I personally really like it.
Fear & Hunger: I guess this answers your question about RPG horror games! Unfortunately, this is the only one I ever played that I liked, but REALLY like it, I have a tattoo of the circle of perfection on the back of my hand, even, lol (I already had other hand tats, don't freak out). I just really like the absurdity of the story and all of the lore that the developer has cooked up for it, and the way it all matters but also kind of doesn't. I think its an insane feat to have achieved the atmosphere he did with the limited tools he has, not to mention the massive amount of respect I have for any creator that simultaneously wears their influences on their sleeves while displaying massive creativity and originality.
Pathologic: This game kind of speaks for itself honestly. Its just brutal, creative, infuriating, I could go on - It's probably the most immersive experience I've ever had in a game. If you've never played it before I would suggest buying Pathologic 2 (don't worry about it) and playing it completely blind. Forget about "winning", forget even about succeeding, just go about it as if you were in the protagonist's shoes and see where you leads you.
Scorn: Without a doubt in my top 5 games of all time and I don't care that that is an insane take. This game is everything I want from interactive stories - entirely intuitive, doesn't spoonfeed you a single grain of its lore or pushes its story on you, it just puts the pieces in your hands and its up to you to feel it on instinct. This 5 hour game with no dialogue, no text, not even any named characters to speak of had me crying at its ending and I didn't even know whether I was sad or overjoyed. I fucking LOVE scorn.
Honorable mention:
The Space Between by Christoph Frey (not to be confused with The Space INbetween.): Is a short, 30 minute experience about intimacy presented through a horror lens. I really don't want to say anything else about it, but I played it like 5 years ago and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. It's a master's guide to storytelling through semiotics and exemplary in it's... Emotionally charged visuals? Like, I had never before seen a story make sentiment into and external, tangible thing quite like this one does, like turning sound into an object or something. Amazing little indie game.
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My wrist started hurting so here's some writing I did today instead of drawing :D
(I only recently started to get back into writing so be gentle with the criticism)
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Batman had been in a lot of strange situations in his life, backflipping off buildings to fight costumed crime not even topping the list. But two clones of his best friend holed up in the watchtowers old medical supply room probably tops the list. One of them had been layed on his side, back to the door as the other scavenged through the medical supplies. What a demi-kryptonian would need with medical supplies? He has no idea; their injuries should work like supermans the close proximity to the sun in the watchtower should be healing anything.
"What do you two think you're doing." He grumbled. The scavenging clone stood stock still at the words, hands pausing over the medical cabinets. Turning so he could peer at him. The one on the bed didn't react, only letting out a few small shivers. That was .. odd. He stalked closer to the figure on the bed the one by the supplies tensed, rearing up. seeming to be preparing to run over, and do what exactly? Sure Batman didn't know these two but they are kryptionans in some way, it's not like Batman could cause any harm to a kryptonian. Even if they are not fully invulnerable. what was this clone trying to prevent?
Then again - invulnerable or not - He didn't want to attempt to fist fight any kind of kryptionan, full or not.
"What happened to your friend" He stopped a couple of steps from the hospital bed, but even this far away Batman could see the tenseness in his shoulders. See his arms coiled tight across his stomach. Shivers and trembles wracked his frame every minute or so. While he was no kryptonion expert he could tell that there was clearly something wrong with him. A low huff came from the clone by the cabinet.
" Thirteen gained an injury in a Metropolis battle," He seemed to glare at this 'Thirteen', "Like an idiot he has wrapped himself in his tactile telekinesis. I brought him here to find something to fix him"
Batman was so far out of his depth; he made a mental note to make a better file looking into the powers and abilities of these kryptonian clones. Until then, " Tactile Telekinesis. The ability to use one's mind to manipulate objects they are touching." That was the obvious conclusion based on the term. but he was completely unaware what that would have to do with an injury or why it was 'stupid'. The clone glared over at him, like this was the most useless and infuriating conversation that has ever happened to him.
"Yes. Both thirteen and I have that power, due to our kryptonian DNA it is fully impenetrable." His voice was low and bored, as if that was an obvious fact he should know. Batman scowled.
"If he is injured he should be near the sun to get his cells to heal." He gestured towards the window out of the watchtower. If possible the clone seemed to grow angrier.
"That would help. If the tactile telekinesis wasn't preventing the suns rays from getting to him."
Ah, that makes sense.
"We have bandages, wraps and fluids to hold the wounds and get him stable until he can let down his telekinesis. top cabinet to the left" He was so - so out of his depth. If the sun couldn't get through, it wasn't likely that anyone could get close enough to his skin to put and IV in, let alone with a blue kryptonite needle. But he could not think of a single thing that the clone would want in an old medical room other than medical supplies. Surprisingly enough that seemed to be what he wanted , turning swiftly to retrieve the supplies they all cluttered into his arms moments away from toppling out of his reach. going over to 'Thirteens' bedside he brushed a hand an inch away from his face, pressing against an invisible wall. 'Tactile telekinesis' his brain supplied. He still stood too far away to come into contact with this invisible forcefield himself.
"You have blue kryptonite needles right." It wasn't a question. but it was something he could help with, He nodded curtly his cape swinging around as he marched out of the room. When did he start taking orders from a random kryptonian kid? It wasn't the kid he reasoned, he was in the watchtower doing monitor duty due to the nearing Christmas season. When he clocked the open door and marched down, anticipating a villain attack or some badly injured college who was to out of it to remember that the new medical room was down the hall. He was still trying to figure out how they even entered the watchtower. Had they flown past the planet and rocketed into the watchtower? They hadn't used a Zeta tube, there would have been records of that. He reached the cabinet holding the kryptonite needles, picking out several incase the telekinesis was strong enough to break the needle. Was it strong enough to break a needle? He really needs to start that file.
curbing the corner with the bagged needles he reentered the old office. 'Thirteen' was layed on his back his jacket draped over the edge of the bed. Arms wrapped around his chest in a pseudo hug. His stomach was newly wrapped up in bandages tinged pink around the left side, Low down. if he were human He'd be worried about his intestines. Did he have intestines? He Really, really needed to start that file.
The other boy was sat at thirteens bedside, an iv drip to his left. his hands rested on the side of the bed, far away from the shivering form on top. The boy lifted his gaze towards Batman, analysing him like he could see through him. He had no doubt he could. He raised up the bag of needles displaying them clearly to the kid. He does not want to fight a kryptonian. He reached out towards the bag, and Batman stopped. Did he want him to come closer? He nearly jumped him when he was barely close to 'thirteen'. Hm.
He stalked over placing the bagged needles in the boys palm. He could reach out and touch the kid on the bed if he so chose. What happened to rearing up to attack him? Did he gain his trust somehow? Or was the health of the other boy so dire he couldn't spare the energy or time to attack him. The kid did look pretty awful. He wasn't sweating or burning up like a human would be but the dark rings under his eyes and cold hue to his skin radiated illness. He resisted the instinct to comfort him, he didn't know this boy nor his feelings about the Batman or the justice league in general. All he could see was one of his own kids, they have been in hospital beds far too much of their lives. He didn't even know if these kids had someone who would care for them like that. A dull ache echoed through his chest at the mere thought.
"He will survive." The kid said flatly affixing the IV bag with a new needle. Popping the cap off the top of the needle, he leaned over reaching out to hover his hand above thirteens inner elbow scrunching his eyes closed.
"Hn." He grunted back at him. That was good, He was far too young to die. Clone or not. A light blue light emanated from the kids hand, face scrunching up in an almost painful fashion as he pushed against the invisible force covering the other. With clear effort he shoved his hand past the forcefield, needle in hand as he stabbed it into his arm. Did he even get it in a vein? If its not it's basically a useless effort. The kid yanked his hand back as if he had been burned. Holding it towards his chest stuttering a few steps away with a pinched expression."Did you get it in a vein?" he questioned. He couldn't have so quickly. The kid damn near growled at him like a dog.
"I'm not an idiot!" He rubed his hand back and forth, " We are identical down to our nervous systems. I pinpointed the veins in my arms and copied it into his." He quirked an eyebrow at him, even if they were that identical how could he even do that? He clearly sensed his suspison, barring his teeth in anger. "My tactile telekenisis located his veins. You can check yourself if you distrust me so much."
he walked around the bed noticing that no chair. Wasn't he sitting down before? That dosent matter. He inspected the placement of the needle, it was in the vein. huh. He really needs to look into the extremes of tactile telekenisis. If its invunrable - so much so that the sun cannot get through it - and can perfectly insert a needle in the fraction of the time that a trained professional could. What else could it do?
"Trust me now?" The kid huffed from behind him starting the drip of the IV bag. crossing his arms over his chest protectively. Batman turned around towering over the clone. He shrunk back pressing himself into the wall next to the IV, refusing to meet his eyes.
#batman#dc match#kon el kent#creative writing#dc fanfic#dc comics#writing#bruce wayne#kon el superboy#superboy
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horrorphones...
Like many of the cretinous shut-ins who follow this blog, I hate phone calls. If you call me on the phone without an approved appointment I will assume that you are experiencing a deadly emergency. You will scare the shit out of me and I may not even be relieved if there is no deadly emergency. For me to talk on the phone, I practically always have to write a little script, even if we are very close personal friends. I must have a physical list of talking points in case my mind goes totally blank from the enormous pressure and I forget my entire life. I usually have to have at least one drink for calls lasting longer than a minute or two. I would probably be most comfortable conducting all social business from behind a Late Show desk on which I could reassuringly tap my stack of helpful cue cards. I will write you very long personal letters. I will text and DM with you at all hours of the night. I just cannot talk to you on the phone. The phone fries my brain. Actually, I feel extremely nervous even after a phone call, even if everything went well, even if it was super fun. I kind of have to sleep it off.
Unfortunately, not all people communicate in non-phone ways. I have one best friend (I'm an adult, I don't put the top people in a hierarchy as if they all serve exactly the same purpose and some are better than others; I have a couple of verified "best friends") who is just too much of a free spirit to be really into the internet, or to be brooding over long written documents. I gotta talk to her on the phone or she won't feel loved, she'll feel detached and isolated. I love to talk to her, but I still need to get in the like phone zone in order to not act like the total fucking outer space alien that I actually am. Being me is very taxing.
But now I have this old friend, see. An old friend and also a friend who is old. Actually I have no idea how old he is, he was old when I met him. He gave me my first post-college job (my first "real job" ever, I was and remain an unemployable mess) at his comic book store, where I stayed for many years. The whole crew there was very tight. He is a cool, smart, funny, cultured, frustrating, infuriating, offensive, secretly caring and wonderful sort of person. We went through a lot together, including several years of a random customer stalking and harassing me. We dealt with the police together. We served the dregs of society together. Sometimes we hated each other. But he is a major reason that I survived my 20s.
Several years ago he was in a freak accident where he was pinned under a heavy piece of furniture in his apartment for days. It could have killed him. He already had a well-developed case of Parkinson's, I don't know if that's related. Through a series of different events, he wound up moving into an assisted living place on the other side of the country, near one of his brothers. I'm sure he hates it. Every year on Halloween, which is a little bit before his birthday, I send him a hand-drawn card featuring classic comics characters doing all sorts of demented things, along with a little update letter. One year I got a letter back asking me to call him. OH NO, I thought. I didn't call.
Yesterday was a big, very challenging, in some ways very rewarding day. When I was finally all out of tasks I decided to turn my brain fully off and become spectacularly stoned. I was well zooted when my fucking phone rang. I quickly Googled the number, and I'm pretty sure it was the assisted living facility where my friend is. I didn't pick up. They called back once, but left no message. I felt pretty bad, though I also knew that in my current state it would have been a huge disaster if I answered. What if he died? I thought, knowing that he has a lot of siblings and I wouldn't have been that phone call, and also if it were important they would have left a message or kept trying. I forced myself not to worry about it by popping a couple of Benadryl and making it an early night.
I think I have to call back though. I might regret it if I don't. I have been thinking about this for a long time. I have all sorts of worries. What if he's incoherent now? What if we can't understand each other? What if I have nothing to say? What if he IS coherent but he wants to say terrible things about politics (a life-long constant for him, I don't know if he even cares as much about politics as he does about trolling people)? But also what if he like dies and I have to sit around thinking about how selfish I am for never calling him for all eternity? I'm sure I'm the only person making him original personalized art for his birthday every year, but does that really get me out of everything else?
So the point of this post is to somehow force myself to call him. I have way too much shit to do and I am preparing for a lot of stressful social things with strangers and I need to stop being unemployed and I am cramping up a storm. But I think I also have to make the phone call. Maybe I will do such a bad job that I never have to do it again! Pray for me, pray for the sweet saving grace of personal failure.
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Neil has amnesia and the last things he remembers is his first night in Columbia. Part of "Help me remember"
There was no denying that Andrew was not the only one whose closeness he craved. He didn’t see his teammates for that long since he lost his memories, but even when he didn’t know what was going on he felt his body slightly relaxing at the sight of them, before his mind screamed “Danger” at him.
He felt it talking to Matt on the phone, he felt it when he heard Dan’s worried voice through the door and most infuriating of all he felt it when he was screaming at Nicky.
He was angry at Nicky. He wanted to never speak to him again. He wanted to never see him again, but he wanted to hug him at the same time. He wanted to roll his eyes at him and tell him to stop saying stupid shit.
Neil closed his eyes and forced himself to stop thinking about his teammates. After a while, he looked around and noticed the phone that he picked up before still lying on the side table. It occurred to him that it must have been his.
He picked it up again and turned it on. Maybe he would understand all of this better if he saw what was there.
He opened up his massages and to his fury Nicky was at the top of the list. He opened the thread and he saw that most of the conversation was one-sided. He scrolled to the very beginning (which was a lot of scrolling, because Nicky wrote to him about every little thing, it seemed) and saw the flood of the messages that he had received from him in the first few days of owning his phone.
What caught his eye the most was a simple smiling face emoji. He shouldn’t focus so much on that one little symbol. There were many more interesting things in their massages, but somehow that one stood out to him the most.
“See? That’s much better. That’s how a normal human being looks when they check their phone, Neil”
He was tired of this. There were constant, distant memories floating through his brain. Weird dreams, single sentences without any context. Without even thinking about it he dialed Nicky’s phone.
Nicky picked up after the first ring, but didn’t say anything. Neil didn’t blame him, he probably didn’t know what to say and was scared to piss off Neil even more. Good. Neil wanted him scared. “No you don’t.” a distant voice echoed in his brain, but he chose to ignore it.
“How did I forgive you? What did you do to deserve it?” He asked softer than he intended. He wanted to be firm, but he couldn’t bring himself to be.
“I-” Nicky cleared his throat. “I didn’t really do anything. One day we just started talking again. I don’t know why you forgave me. I chose to not look a gifted horse in the mouth and just rolled with it.”
Neil didn’t like that answer. He was hoping for something better, for something more.
“I don’t think it will go the same this time.” He whispered.
He heard a quiet sob at the other line and he could tell that the next word’s that came out of Nicky’s mouth were spoken through tears. “I- I understand.”
There was silence for a few seconds and then Nicky spoke with determination. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. It was so wrong on so many levels and it should have never even happened. I Should have never done that. It was stupid and selfish and so out of line. I’m sorry, Neil. I will understand if you never forgive me. I hope you will, because even though you don’t remember we are family.” Nicky stopped for a second, interrupted by his quiet sob. Neil could feel tears streaming down his face as well.
He searched his mind for a proof that what Nicky was saying was true. That they really were a family, but come up empty. He felt it though, deep in his heart, he felt the love he had for Nicky and it was killing him that he was stuck between his body and his mind. He wanted to either forget them all completely or remember everything.
“You are one of the most important people in my life.” Nicky continued. “Even if you don’t forgive me, even if you won’t ever remember, it’ll still be true.”
“Help me remember?” Neil whispered.
There was a relieved sigh on the other lain. Nicky was a talker, that much Neil remembered. He kept talking and talking. Telling Neil about everything, even if it wasn’t even something Neil could remember, because some of the stories didn’t include him.
Nicky’s voice was a white noise Neil desperately needed to calm his racing thoughts. The stories were not as emotionally draining as the one’s told to him by Waymack. There were stupid little things that he would probably forget even if he had all his memories back, but he didn’t care.
After a while he got tired. He was calm and Nicky’s rumbling got a little overwhelming. He needed a little bit of quiet.
“Nicky, that’s enough, thank you.” He said and Nicky stopped talking immediately. “I ‘m still not sure if I forgive you.”
“That’s okay, kid. Take as long as you need.” Nicky said, clearly sad, but Neil could hear the understanding in his tone.
They hung up and Neil decided to shut the phone off again. He wasn’t tired enough to sleep. Not after the amount of sleep he had for the last two days. For now he was content to just stare at the white wall and not think about anything.
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Hi! Could I ask for a 🌎 with Newt from the Maze Runner? Thanks for your time!
me when i create a list of possible options for my celebration and then ignore every ask in my inbox in favor of doing the world swaps 💀 anyway i did my random world generator and newt is doing a crossover with top gun!
The problem with being one of the best pilots in the Navy is that you tend to know the others pretty well, too. Newt can’t quite remember when he started befriending the dozens of boys around him, just that they’re all here now, and that’s what matters most. They’re here, sweating it out in the sun, and they won’t leave this place of labyrinthine bureaucracy and endless tests until one of them makes it to the top of the listings first.
Newt, callsign Glue for all the times he’s kept his buddies together despite a truly terrible plan to get them home, was one of the best pilots Top Gun had until the accident. No one talks about it much, they don’t like to. If you linger over what makes your latest blond Icarus plunge towards the sea in a fiery tailspin, you start to wonder what your program is doing to the other guys. Ignoring it is easier.
Newt teaches now. He’s fine with that. It keeps him on the ground. He sows the seeds of inspiration for the other recruits. One of the newcomers is about his age, probably wondering why Newt’s already given up on any dreams of making it past the endless cycles of Navy desk jobs. Thomas– codename Tommy, no one has imagination around here– is different from the others, though. Sprinted through his own time at the Naval Academy, the greenest by far but still somehow one of the best. Time does strange things to its favorites.
Tommy flies with Leader, a dark-haired boy named Minho who used to be Newt’s co-pilot up until the accident. Gally, another one of the grounded higher-ups, keeps bringing this up to Newt as if it’s supposed to make him bitter that he was replaced so quickly. Gally, who Newt refuses to call by his code name in a silent act of rebellion, is also one of the most infuriating jocks this side of the sea. He snapped at one of the officer’s kids one day for running around on the base, making the little boy break out into tears. Chuck didn’t deserve that. Minho almost got himself grounded for his revenge, but Newt got him out. They’ve always had each other’s backs.
So life continues, the same yet somehow different. The boys go up in the air and they come back before dark. Newt watches from his place of safety on the ground and wonders if he will ever forgive himself for causing the crash that stuck him here.
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Masooooooon 🤗 for the let's get personal I'd love the answers to:
17, 18, 23, 26, 28, 35, 49, 72, and 79
Thank you, beloved Pistachio! This took me a minute 😅 (Send asks, folks! Pistachio has left you all at least 2 questions from that list.)
17: What was the last lie you told?
Gosh, straight for the throat. 😂 Hm. Oh, I know. Replied to a work message saying “sorry I didn’t see this until just now!” I saw it, I just didn’t want to answer. 🙃
18: Do you believe in karma?
I’d like to (I have a strong sense of justice [an autistic trait]), but I don’t think it’s real. Or at a minimum I don’t think it’s consistent.
23: How do you vent your anger?
As an adult, I usually just vent to a friend. If I’m super furious I will find a minimally destructive activity like tearing up scrap paper or cardboard boxes.
26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
For the most part. I’ve realized that every few years when I reflect on my younger self I always feel like that person was an ass clown (no matter what age). But I’m starting to cut them some slack.
28: What’s your biggest “what if”?
I feel like there’s a couple different kinds of what ifs. What if X never, what if Y in the future.
What if I had a better childhood is one I think about a lot. I experienced Some Things and had an undiagnosed disability. So I wonder how I would have turned out with more support and less baseline terror.
My forward facing what if is equally a bummer. A lot of my what if energy is spent on what if I end up unhoused? Which is probably a direct consequence of the aforementioned what if. 🫠
35: To you, what is the meaning of life?
I’m not sure there is one. That is to say, I don’t think there is inherent meaning so it is whatever each person makes of it. I mostly try to find small things to enjoy and try not to be an asshole.
49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?
A few times. My favorite was during undergrad. I was one of the top students in my CS program. The program was almost entirely men and the popular rumor was that I only did well in classes because I was providing sexual favors to the male professors. 🤣 I didn’t look overtly queer at the time, though I’m sure most other gays would have clocked me instantly. It was really infuriating (still is on some level), but if you’ve ever met me you’d immediately find that rumor terribly laughable. Graduated with an award and honors, though. 🙃
72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
That’s just a sneaky way of asking three questions, but I’ll allow it.
a) Probably. I think context and transparency are important and my behavior would change so I wouldn’t want people to worry (about the wrong thing?).
b) Assuming (unrealistically) that I will be in perfect health until the moment I drop dead, I’d use all my vacation time (why quit when I can force the company to pay for my last month of fun), make an effort to see some friends, ensure my estate stuff is in order and there’s a good home for my dog, maybe finish writing some things, and eat whatever I’d like. If I were going to die a really painful death, I might consider other arrangements to end things in advance.
c) Not exactly. I dislike pain and loss of independence, so if those are part of the experience then I would be afraid of that. I don’t think anything happens after death other than the electrical and chemical interactions in my body ceasing, in turn causing my conscious mind to cease. For folks around my age and older, I have always pictured it like the way tube televisions used to turn off. The screen goes blank, there’s an odd hum, and you can sense the shift of static electricity dissipating from the machine.
79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
I think my career choices. I work in a field I’m really passionate about and it’s afforded me a decent life in the hellscape of late-stage capitalism. I’m stressed out a lot, but if I’m going to be stressed out regardless, at least I can do work that feels meaningful.
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American healthcare is absolutely a disease. I have not been in the same trenches of OP, but I am a pharmacy technician in America. I am by no means the most qualified to say that I hate American healthcare, but I do have a piece to say.
It infuriates me to no end that insurance is as twisted and corrupt as it is. It infuriates me that “name brand” drugs exist. It infuriates me that drugs that cost pennies to make can break a home.
I am cried and screamed at while a billion dollar industry sits pretty. I search up discount cards for the public while a billion dollar industry tracks their profit. I give crash courses on how to navigate free discount systems to people of all ages because no one knows how to survive in this day and age. I have saved people thousands of dollars with a bit of time, kindness, and elbow grease. The people at the top, I’m convinced, are heartless and/or brainless because they have conveniently forgotten, or never faced, a mother screaming that their kid is going to die because of your inability to help. anyways, a bit of basic insurance/survival info under the cut if anyone doesn’t already know this:
FREE DISCOUNT CARDS ARE KEY.
Just research them. I will be honest they are rarely better than insurance. If you have reliable insurance and/or the funds then you may not ever have to use them, and I wish you the best in life. But sometimes a bit of extra help is the different between affording your meds for the month. Sometimes your insurance decides to skip town for a month. Sometimes you break a bottle of medicine and you can’t wait for insurance to decide if you’re lying (true story).
GoodRX, SINGLECARE, BUZZSCRIPTS, and CHIPPO are all of the top of my head. Literally just pick one and Google it. Anyone can use it. If you Google GOODRX and click on the first option it will take you to the website with another search bar. That’s where you will search up on the medicine name and get your discount card. It will show different option for different stores. can use these on pet medicine!
yes, they have different deals with each pharmacies, so prices will be different between stores.
Specific places like Walgreens generally have personal discount cards SEPARATE FROM THE ONES I LISTED ABOVE.
a lot of pharmacies also have their own brand of insurance that you have to pay for.
discount cards are billed exactly like insurance. Thus, you can either bill a discount card or an insurance, not both. If you try to charge both then you’re guilty of fraud for “double dipping.”
^^^ also, if you are trying to get reimbursement from the insurance your best bet is to pay the cash price and then LOBBY FOR YOUR RETURN. Putting your medication under a discount card may waive your right to get reimbursement because your insurance may claim that you are trying to commit fraud.
coupons are different from discount cards. They are often attached to an insurance so that your insurance pays the bulk at the coupon pays the rest. Pay attention to your coupon fine print, because they are often very specific.
Free discount services like GOODRX, BUZZSCRIPTS, SINGLECARE, ETC. fluctuate their coverage. since you don’t pay for their service you don’t enter a contract with them, which means that they are NOT obligated to have consistent coverage for you. If you look into one discount card, you look into all of them. I advise patients to have multiple discount cards saved on their profile so you can ask the pharmacy technicians to try multiple different ones to find the lowest price for you.
some discount services also have “special events.” They change their prices based on the time of year. The one I can think of most recently was that buzzscripts reduced some prices in honor of Men’s Health month. It is themed, though, so most of the reduced meds on the list were “blood pressure” medicine (things that can be used like viagra).
with love,
your doctor probably won’t be as helpful as your pharmacy team when it comes to insurance. Doctors often just write a script. The pharmacy team is who checks it with insurance, messages doctors for substitutions that are covered under your insurance, tries every loophole in the book, and repeatedly bill the insurance for hours. No really. We bill insurance for hours.
DEDUCTIBLE
Defining just in case you’re young or no one explained it in what I hope is coherent.
blandly- a deductible is a certain monetary amount that you need to pay off through your prescriptions before your insurance will start covering your medicine and providing low copays. Why they do this? Idk. Insurance is kind of an asshole that assume you don’t really need that medicine unless you’re willing to put out for it. It’s pretty annoying since the whole reason you get insurance is because of this exact scenario.
so until you pay $XXXXX, your prescriptions will be more expensive. Generally, the cost will be between Full Price and Insured Price. So you insurance may cover $126 to help you a little, but you still need to pay $275. After you meet your deductible of $XXX, your medicine will be $40 each time. (Random numbers but accurate model)
if your medicine is particularly expensive and you don’t have the funds at the moment you can try to put it under a discount card and bypass your insurance. However, that is a short term solutions that is prolonging the deductible. Best case scenario is that the next time you pay for a prescription you have more funds, or it’s overall a cheaper medication that is manageable for you to pay.
CRASH COURSE ON DONUT HOLES/COVERAGE GAPS
Possibly the death sentence for a prescription. The American Medicare Part D insurance likes to cover a medication up to a certain point before stopping. This is not due to your normal deductible. Basically, your insurance is asking you to prove you really need the medicine before it gives out more money. It essentially sets a personal deductible on that specific medication that you need to meet before your insurance is satisfied that you are, in fact, suffering, and will pay for it again. This often happens later in the year, but just early enough that you may be seriously harmed for lack of medicine. For example, say you need your blood thinner medicine, Eliquis. Eliquis is very expensive and has no substitutions that are quite like it. You are grateful that it is covered under Medicare part D, so you only need to pay about $30-60 a bottle until suddenly, depending on how much you take but likely in the fall, your insurance stops paying for it. Suddenly you need to pay for over $1,000 (a nonspecific but accurate number) in specifically eliquis before your insurance will start covering for it again. Every time you get eliquis it will be hundreds of dollars until you meet that new, specialized deductible. You don’t have over 1,000 dollars to spare, so you tell your local pharmacy technician you’re just going to have to either die or get it next year after your insurance rolls over and you meet your deductible (true story). Everyone is upset except the ones profiting off of insurance. Spoiler alert, it’s not your local pharmacy team.
Finally, a lot of insurances are pushing for mail order
because they have started their own medicine distribution system, essentially their own pharmacy. They want to squeeze more profit so they are trying to cut out pharmacies. They apply pressure by holding your medicine hostage via ridiculously high copays until you either call them and make them stop, cave, or possibly switch pharmacies.
I don’t have beef against mail order, many people can only get their meds through the mail. I do have an issue with holding people’s medicine hostages though, and trying to force their hand. Also, if something goes wrong and your medicine gets lost along the way… well it’s a lot harder to get help from the insurance than your local pharmacy.
In light of Brian Thompson being shot dead on my birthday (🎉🥳🎂) I'd like to share a personal story about UnitedHealthcare.
During the peak of COVID, my family all got sick. I couldn't be on my parents' insurance because they were both older and on Medicare. So, I had insurance through my University: UnitedHealthcare.
For some reason, rather than roll-over each year, I got a new plan each year that ended after May and didn't start until August, so I was uninsured for the summer months, but it was a weird situation that the university denied, and told us we were supposed to be insured year-round, it was messy.
Both of my parents went to the hospital, and I got sick too. I had to take care of my pets, and myself, and try to stay alive and keep my pets alive when I was so weak I could hardly move. When my parents came home, my condition got dramatically worse (I think my body knew it couldn't give out, because there was nobody to take care of me, so once my parents were okay, it completely crashed and failed.)
I started experiencing emergency symptoms. It was a bit hard to breathe, my chest hurt, and I was extremely delirious. I wanted to call my insurance to see if I was covered (this was during the summer) and I was connected to some nice person, probably making minimum wage, who told me with caution in her voice that my plan was expired. I had no active insurance, but she urged me to go to an emergency room. I remember saying something to the effect of "You just told me I don't have insurance, I can't go to the hospital, I can't afford it."
She sounded so genuinely worried and scared. I remember she said "You really don't sound good, you sound really sick, please call 9-1-1" and I think I just said "I can't afford it without insurance, don't worry, I think I'll be okay."
And she paused and said "I don't want to hang up the phone with you like this." And it sounded like she was holding back tears. And I don't remember what I said, I think that I would be okay, and I hung up.
I still think about her. I wonder if that phone call haunted her, or if she had dozens of calls like that a day. I wonder if she thinks about it at all, if she wonders if I died after she told me I didn't have insurance and therefore couldn't go to the hospital without incurring a tremendous financial burden. I wonder if she feels guilt or blame-- of course she shouldn't, it wouldn't have been her fault if anything had happened to me. Maybe it's self-centered to wonder if she thinks about it. I'm not the main character and it was just her job. But, still.
I think about how evil it was that we were put in that situation. Because offering year-long continuous coverage through the university plan would maybe cut into profits, maybe not benefit shareholders enough, maybe cut into Thompson's $10 million salary. While his minimum wage administrators have to feel afraid to hang up the phone, because on the other line someone might be dying, and they wouldn't know. While his patients hang up and decide to take their chances rather than put their family through that trauma.
This is UnitedHealthcare. This is Brian Thompson's legacy. This is why, understandably, an entire nation is jubilant that he was gunned down like the vermin he was. I don't care about his widow. I feel pity for his children, despite the fact that they will inherit millions, but I feel more pity for the children of his victims patients who are gone because they didn't want THEIR children to inherit crippling debt. Brian Thompson got what he fucking deserved. I pray that he not be the only one. I pray for continued safety, peace , and anonymity for his killer.
American healthcare is a disease.
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What’s your rating of favorite cast members from VPR? They’re all garbage, but Idk, I have a personal ranking that fluctuates because I’m torn between ranking them by how much I like them as people and by ranking them by how much they entertain me.
Usually, James is near the top because as horrid as he is, he remains incredibly watchable. James vs Jax is (and really, James vs Everyone) is some of my favorite beef. I have a soft spot for Katie because I think people hate her because of how bitchy she is, but in terms of her actual actions, she’s pretty benign relative to the rest of the group. Brock is always dead last. Cannot stand him.
It definitely changes season to season. Like, when James was first introduced I just found him obnoxious af and then was like oh damn when Jax said the same thing because who ever wants to have the same thoughts as Jax but as the seasons progress, it's not that I find him entertaining but it's like they changed his role to be less of the brash-I'm-a-rockstar-I-get-all-the-bitches type dude so I mostly don't pay him any mind, although I do find his reactions over the top, like when Faith tells him about Jax, it just felt horribly exaggerated.
I don't think I've met Brock yet.
Kristen is infuriating but she probably entertained me the most, like her saga with Sandoval and Sandoval's subsequent PTSD from it (I laughed when he listed the day he broke up with Kristen to be one of the happiest days of his life) was really funny, watching her be delusional and unhinged was fun.
I go back and forth with Katie. I didn't care for her at first and thought Tequila Katie was scarily unhinged but then thought her growth outside of Stassie was interesting and then I kind of forgot about her and then I felt bad when she was crying about how Kevin Lee said she needed to lose weight. Apparently season 5 was her worst season but I mostly skipped season 5 because it looked boring. I start every season now by watching the recap of the finale to see if it's worth going through the season because it's all of the highlights and drama but nothing in the highlights felt worth watching.
Jax is funny because he's legitimately terrible. Like I said before, they stretch my suspension of disbelief with him being who he is and still in this "group" but he always finds new ways to be a piece of shit so watching that is like
I'm pretty neutral on Ariana. She seems completely different from who we saw when she's first introduced.
I used find Scheana entertaining until she started with the "I'm a guy's girl" stuff and now it just seems like she's inserting herself in things trying to remain relevant on the show.
I don't have anything to say about Lala, I kind of forget she's around.
And then Schwartz and Sandoval, I think I'm just bored with them right now because of this whole TomTom storyline. I don't care.
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Gods, snapchat seems to be an app focused around making the most purposefully infuriating design choices for their users:
Shitty AI thing pinned to the top of your friends list. Unremovable by any means unless you pay for a snapchat subscription
Buzzing notification whenever anyone in a conversation starts typing, meaning a constant pattern of unnecessary notification at any time
Not only is the main page filled with content you haven't specifically requested (A Meta staple at this point, realistically), but it's so easy to accidentally click on to something by accident, which the shitty algorithms will then decide that you must clearly enjoy
On that - So many things they try to send directly to you and notify of that you have not specifically opted into. The only way to disable this is to apparently disable all notifications from the the app period, which kind of defeats the purpose of using it for messaging with your friends.
If, heaven-fucking-forbid, you don't immediately turn your gaze towards something you've been notified of, it will spam you with reminder notifications until you do.
This includes if you dismiss shitty random story notifications from random assholes that you don't know and have never interacted with that otherwise, as stated above, apparently cannot be disabled
I don't even know how I managed to disable the random-ass friend suggestions and got it to stick - I've never found the setting sequence I used again to pass along to other people who want to get rid of it. They probably eliminated the pathway during one of their updates or something, but because mine was already disabled, it might have avoided being turned back on or something. If they reactivated it at any point, I would have been fucking fuming!
In short, if there were literally any other app that I could use for sending/receiving group chat messages or quick random nonsense pictures from friends and family, and I could convince them to move to that app, I would fucking drop snapchat in a fucking heartbeat. I would purge every trace of it from my phone and block it from ever being suggested to me again.
Meta seems to be determined to make their products as unpleasant and user-unfriendly as possible these days (Yay, enshittification...)
But snapchat? It's like they dialed the piss-off factor up to over 9000 just to see how much bullshit people will tolerate before leaving, despite inertia and other pressures/factors that otherwise keep them there.
#fuck snapchat#fuck it so very very much#and fuck every product meta makes/runs these days#Why the fuck can't they just let you control your own experience and interactions with/within their apps?#Gods... as a Millennial who's been on social media for far too fucking long#I am just fucking ready to throw the whole concept out and never interact with it ever again#Corporate mentality has enshittified everything to the point where even new “just like [_] classic!” or supposedly better ones#don't even hold any appeal for me - Because either they'll be shitty in new ways#or they'll eventually head down the path of enshittification and end up here with everything else
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Top 9 Romantic Ships
I got tagged by @gay-and-tiredaf
So here's my Top 9 Romantic ships that are sorta kinda in order (well, the top three definitely, the others have wiggle room)
9. Jack Daniels
They'd be a lot higher on this list except I don't go looking for the content as much as I used to. They're hilarious though and they play off of each other so well. One of my Top 10 fics I would recommend to most people is called "Doctor Jackson's Diary" and it's hilariously slapstick and has quite a lot of sex in it.
8. JohnLock
If you could see my AO3 history it would have a frankly embarrassing amount of these two in various convoluted (and not so convoluted) scenarios that end up with them getting it on.
I regret nothing. Or maybe I do a little, which is why they aren't higher on the list.
7. JDox
I just really like the whole "The grumpy one loves the sunshine one" trope. Also John C. McGinley is a hottie.
6. Shassie
See above Re: Sunshine/Grumpy. Also these two just take the sassy up to eleven somehow. They're both so snarky. Everything about the show Psych is just great. There are so many good fanfics for this pairing, but I particularly like "The Dah-Ling Store It Yourself" series.
5. Chelley
I have a few reasons for this one. But by far is the fanfic "Blue Sky" by Waffleguppies, I cannot possibly tell you how amazing that fanfic is.
4. The Love Square
I'm not posting 4 gifs for you guys to get the point. I love all iterations of these two dorks. (Though not equally, Ladrian is definitely my favorite dynamic). I could write a few thousand word essay on why they're the most annoying couple of dorks in all of fandom though. Miraculous Ladybug is an infuriating show to watch sometimes. I stand by my theory that it was specifically designed to spawn fanfiction with it's design, which is all build up and no resolution.
3. Hellstrop
(Not me choosing the saddest part of their relationship as the most romantic gif available, whaaa?)
The only reason this one isn't #2 is because I haven't been into The Good Place for very long. I feel like, given enough time, it'll outpace Beetlebabes just because Silverfox Ted Danson is more attractive than Alex Brightman. (Yes I did say that, no I won't take it back). Also because of Michael's completely Adorkable personality.
2. Beetlebabes
3 ships for the price of 1. My preference being musical, movie, then cartoon as a distant 3rd. They are all very different dynamics. I love their relationship in the musical. Totally toxic, but somehow they're still the best thing that has ever happened to each other.
And our GRAND FINALE.....
1. Quodo
When I say the relationship between these two idiots is always in the back of my mind I am probably not exaggerating.
Never have any two grumpy middle-aged men had such belligerent romantic tension.
These two have the relationship and communication skills of people who had been married for three decades and then had a messy divorce but still have to work together so they choose to needle each other every day because they refuse to admit they actually still like one another.
#quodo#beetlebabes#hellstrop#the love square#chelley#shassie#JDox#Johnlock#jack/daniel#all of my favorite ships
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Since I'm in love with your writings and your taste in reading too. I know that your favorite is Brother's best friend or Best friend's brother, I would like for you to recommend me some of them please ❤️❤️🙏
꧁Brother’s Best Friend꧂
Clandestine by @junghelioseok is fantastic. Jeon Jungkook is the best friend of the reader’s slightly younger brother. He’s sexy and charismatic and DEFINITELY knows what he wants. The growth of his (clandestine) connection with the reader is utterly delicious. This one made me laugh and swoon.
Guarded by @xjoonchildx is basically legendary in my book. The lady in this story is not only Hoseok’s best friend’s sister—she is also his BOSS’s sister and by boss I mean mafia. This is the first installment in Ana’s amazing Rap Line Mafia Universe and it delivers on every level. Hoseok is tasked with protecting the boss’s sister after she is being threatened by sinister forces unknown and sparks fly.
Plums and Melons by @winetae is THAT FIC. The fic I just daydream about sometimes. It’s a fic about two people caught hard in eachother’s gravity. It’s so sexy and cerebral and the main characters are so hot. Jimin is just a guy trying to live his life, but whatever is brewing between him and his best friend’s sister is driving him insane. He wants to be a good guy, but she just isn’t playing fair.
Are You Sure? by @cutechim is such a swoon-worthy and touching piece of wonderful. I tell you I was MOVED. This is beautiful and emotional and EXTREMELY satisfying. Taehyung’s best friend has a sister who he has always secretly adored. When she comes to him and asks for some intimate experience, he isn’t strong enough to say no—not when she’s everything he ever wanted.
Drivers License and Detour by @gyukult is sweet and tender and just a fantastic coming of age story. The reader has been in love with her brother’s best friend, Park Jimin, for almost all of her youth... but what is going on in his head?It’s a tender story that really warms the heart. AND I am happy there is more coming. I would read about these two all day. She published the second part and oh my gosh it’s so incredibly perfect I could scream. This was just such a beautiful journey every step of the way.
Milestone by @1kook is probably one of the first brother’s best friend BTS fics I read and it is amazing. I adore it so much. Because Jungkook is your brother’s best friend he is there for every milestone in your life. But you’ve both grown up now and neither of you are kids anymore. It’s hot. Like really hot. Dialogue and set up are so sharp and fast paced I really loved every second.
Young God by @njssi is scorching hot smut with complicated feelings and warm revelations. You think it’s going somewhere and then it goes somewhere else and honestly it is so awesome the whole time. Jungkook was always your brother’s sweet little friend, but he’s returned determined to show you that he is all grown up.
Tease by @caiuscassiuss floored me. I loved it so much! I spent the whole story just squealing happily about everything. This story has it all. It’s scorching hot. It’s enemies-to-lovers. It’s Taehyung. Jungkook’s sister and Kim Taehyung do not get along AT all—so she decides to bring him to his knees by making him desperate for her. It’s a wild and completely awesome ride.
Wasabi by @ironicarmy is a classic. Hobi is a bad boy that Namjoon vehemently refuses to let near his precious baby sister. But love is too strong a force and soon Hobi and the clever object of his desire decide that some things are worth fighting for. It’s a really sweet story of facing challenges and relying on the people you love. Warm and fuzzy feelings abound, but it’s also super hot.
Forbidden by @btssmutgalore is a masterwork blueprint for this trope. Hobi is a carefree player who falls brutally for Taehyung’s sister. They two of them eventually give in to a VERY steamy series of secret encounters and feelings get very involved. This is hot, suspenseful, and emotionally satisfying. Excellent characterizations as well.
Prohibido by @personasintro is an office AU with a twist. Namjoon is not only her brother’s best friend, he is also her boss and the two of them have incredible chemistry. Watching them pretend that they’re not insanely attracted to each other is so endearing and hot. Reader is convinced her feelings are one-sided. It’s lovely and fun. Definitely a slow burn, but worth it.
Strawberry Kisses by @kimnjss is a fic that I devoured in one sitting and then re-read again immediately. Jeon Jungkook is a player who matches with a girl on a dating app and has no idea she is the sister of his revered mentor and close friend, Min Yoongi. I laughed. I cried. I GASPED OUT LOUD a bunch. It was a whole thing. This is a hybrid social media/written AU and it’s pretty much perfect.
Tempestuous by @ppersonna is so special to me because it was written at the very beginning of my friendship with Lindy. She was looking for requests and I was quick to request my favorite trope. Lindy is bae now and this fic she wrote is marvelous. You are forced to spend the weekend in the same house with your sexy arch-rival Taehyung who just so happens to be your brother’s best friend. Naturally snarky hotness ensues.
Off Limits @floralseokjin is basically a famous entry when it comes to this trope. It’s a Jin fic and Miss Jordan writes EXQUISITE Jin characterizations. There is a hint of mistaken (or unknown) identity in this one which makes it even more fun. Sparks fly between you and a devilishly charming Kim Seokjin at a party. You don’t find out until later who he really is—and why he’s off limits.
And finally I’ll recommend my own Brother’s Best Friend fic All I Want for Christmas is You featuring a charming Taehyung who falls for Jimin’s sister. Jimin basically blackmails his best friend into escorting his sister to several holiday galas. Tae and Jimin’s sister have never gotten along, but they soon discover (through multiple pranks and mishaps) that love (and desire) are out of their control.
Not Your Fairytale by @yeojaa is incredibly sweet and tender. Erin really does emotion so well and her Yoongi characterization is honestly so nuanced and brilliant. This story is about a girl who had her heart broken and instead of canceling the cake tasting she scheduled with her philandering ex-fiancé, she wrangles the tsundere best friend of her brother to pretend to be him.
Brother’s Best Friend by @bts-hyperfixation is a short and sweet moment between two people who have been fighting their attraction for each other. It is so hot and delicious I tell you. You’re in trouble and the person you call is probably the person you shouldn’t—but you aren’t the only one willing to take a risk tonight.
Off Limits by @kaddiiction will break your heart and put it back together again. This one was recommended to me by a reader and I cannot thank them enough. It is fantastic. Jimin is a player but he crosses the line when he begins a liaison with his best friend’s sister. Still there is far more to this situation—and Jimin—than meets the eye.
꧁Best Friend’s Brother꧂
Orectic by @gimmesumsuga is one of my favorite fics of all time. It is a hybrid fic where the reader is a cat hybrid and Hoseok is the brother of her best friend who comes to stay with her while her bestie is away... It is so tender yet SO HOT. I’m telling you I cannot even keep count of how many times I have read it.
Theophany by @ilikemesometaetaes was a JOURNEY. It made me so emotional. Like the story centers around art a lot, but let me tell you, this fic IS art. Jimin is just the man of my whole dreams in this piece as the brother of a former best friend with an irresistible allure. It is a coming of age story with the most beautiful twist. AND THE LOVE SCENE—oh my gosh I screamed it was so good. This story is just so so good.
Run by @neonlights92 is Jungkook’s story in the mafia universe I am COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH. You don’t have to read the whole series to understand it (BUT YOU SHOULD). This is best friend’s brother meets arranged marriage and honestly it’s fantastic. Jungkook doesn’t do love and affection and being forced into an arranged marriage with his sister’s friend who has always had a crush on him is just a blow to his freedom... or is she? GAH! This story—like all the stories in this universe—is superb.
The Magic to Happiness by @readyplayerhobi is a best friend’s brother meets teachers AU meets Hogwarts AU. Now... all of those are top tier tropes so finding them together is like winning the lottery. Hobi was once just a skinny kid who had obvious heart eyes for you (his sister’s best friend) but now he’s tall and confident and really attractive. The magic of this story is evident in every word of the sweet relationship that blooms between these two.
Problem with You by @monvante is so sweet and kind of hilarious. I giggled so much! Jungkook is your best friend’s brother and he is kind of too perfect and too handsome and he’s always around and you hate him and he hates you... Right? When you cross paths with the infuriating Jeon Jungkook at your best friend’s wedding, you discover that you may have been wrong about a great many things.
Show Me Yours and I’ll Show You Mine by @ktheist is so so SO fabulous. I was obsessed with this (now complete) series from the very first installment. You and Tae are besties who have know each other since you were little kids, but lately Tae’s older brother Jin has been lookin mighty fine. Just how far can you push him till he breaks. And if he breaks.... what then?
This list is BY NO MEANS exhaustive. I just used it to compile some of my FAVORITES in this particular trope.
➪ IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER BROTHER’S BEST FRIEND FICS I SHOULD CHECK OUT PLEASE COMMENT (seriously please I love this trope so much) AND I WILL ADD THEM TO THIS LIST.
➪ Newer Additions are in PINK!
➪ Newest Additions are in BLUE
#bts#Jeon jungkook#park jimin#Kim Taehyung#park jimin smut#Kim Taehyung smut#Jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook scenarios#Kim Namjoon#Kim seokjin#Jung hoseok#kim taehyung scenarios#park jimin scenario#seokjin smut#hoseok smut#namjoon smut#bts smut#hoseok scenarios#namjoon scenarios#jin scenarios#Jin smut#ladyartemesia recommends#brother’s best friend#brother’s best friend fics
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Arrangement. psh
TW: Oral, fingering, corruption, unprotected sex, public sex, reader is kinda selfish but in the oblivious way not the malicious way, seonghwa is seonghwa. Honestly I was going for something kinda specific here and i dont think i succeded, its not bad or anything just not what i was going for but i dont think yall will be able to tell hopefully.
The first thing i write in probably well over 2 weeks and its something that nobody but @deja-vux wanted. what can i say? this idea gave me brain rot.
One last thing, this is kind of a part 2 to the corruption kink blurby thing I wrote for Seonghwa (can be found in my master list) but it’s not a direct continuation or anything and you don’t have to read that to get this.
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Your jaw ached in strain as you held your mouth open, trying to keep your throat relaxed. Seonghwa’s grip was tight in your hair as he thrust his dick shallowly past your lips. The position was altogether uncomfortable. Seonghwa laid across the back seat of his vintage car, back propped up against the door with one knee raised. You were knelt between his thighs, bent over in a painful arch trying to keep still in the tight space. But all of that was inconsequential, the breathy groans and crooked smirk of the man in front of you were enough to drown out the pain.
As his hips pushed into your mouth again, dick sliding further down your throat than before, in a desperate attempt to please the man you did your best to swallow around the long length of his cock although tears pricked in your eyes. His grip on your hair tightened and you looked up just in time to see his head thump back against the glass window followed by another low groan and a face screwed up in pleasure, his normally perfectly styled black hair now tousled and falling into his eyes. Deep satisfaction ran through you.
To your surprise, the hand in your hair yanked you back and off him. You whined at the roughness, despite the way it sent shocks down to your core. Seonghwa’s eyes cracked open to peer down at you with a grin.
“You're getting good at this, princess.” He compliments in his velvet voice. His words elated you and a smile crept onto your lips.
“You’ve come so far in so little time, you could barely take me in your mouth without gagging a month ago, now look at you. You should be proud.” Seonghwa continued, running his hand through your hair once before regaining his grip on it. You practically purred. While you looked back on those first few times with Seonghwa fondly, you much preferred his smooth praises to the harsh words and instructions he gave you before. But you were still glad for them, there was no way you would have come this far this quickly if he hadn’t been hard on you.
Seonghwa’s hand was pulling you back down again before you could voice anything, “come on princess, show me how much you’ve learned.”
Back to work you went. He gave you a tad bit more freedom this time around, not making any move to thrust into your mouth, instead, allowing you to show your newfound mastery of dick sucking. But you kept his preferences in mind, he always wanted to draw things out, to take his time with you. So you began by kissing gently along the red tip, then lapping at the precum that spilled from it. The taste was definitely an acquired one, your face had screwed up in disgust the first time I touched your tongue, but now you sought it out as it meant you were doing well.
Taking the tip completely in your mouth, you hummed as you swirled your tongue around it for a moment before popping off and caressing the underside with a flick of the tongue. Seonghwa hummed in approval, nudging your head forward again in gentle encouragement. You took him into your mouth again, this time hollowing your cheeks and bobbing your head in a firm rhythm. You kept your tongue pressed into the underside of his dick, running along the most prominent vein. Each time you took more and more of his impressive length into your mouth, moaning in satisfaction as you went.
You couldn’t help the way your legs pressed together as more wetness pooled in your underwear. Your mind flashed with the first time Seonghwa had taken you completely. Your body had shuddered as he eased his cock between your legs and into your cunt. It had been uncomfortable sure, and the sensation had been unfamiliar, but Seonghwa had taken care to prepare you enough before ruining you in that way. Your first time had been exceptional needless to say.
You were drawn back to the present by the low growl rumbling out of Seonghwa’s chest as his dick hit the back of your throat, all of him save for the part you had your hand wrapped around for support was now gracefully sliding past your lips. You ventured another look up to his face. He was watching you intently with fire behind his dark eyes. You looked up at him with wide eyes, barely able to meet his strong gaze. His elbow rested on his bent knee and his head was leaning against his hand. If it weren’t for the low sounds he released from time to time you would never be able to tell what you were up to between his legs from his face.
The sudden desire to break his composure overtook you, to make him feel as desperate as the ache between your legs. So as you removed your hand to take his length all the way down into your throat your hips began rocking back and forth, rutting into nothing as your legs pressed tightly together.
“Keeping going like that, and I’ll cum down your throat.” His voice rumbled.
You doubted that. Another thing you had learned about him was that he was unbelievably composed. The kind of restraint that came from much experience. He wouldn’t cum unless he wanted to, his words were only to encourage you. But regardless you took them with glee. Seonghwa had long since discovered that nothing encouraged you more than the thought of his cum, the very reward for your efforts.
Despite his promise, it was several more minutes before he spilled into your mouth, having finally decided that you had sufficiently proven your knowledge. His head had fallen back against the window and he let out a trail of deep groans as he spilled against your tongue. You swallowed it appreciatively, beaming up at him from between his legs, awaiting the praise for your efforts.
When he looked at you again it was with a crooked smile and a gentle hand stroking your hair.
“Well done princess,” he spoke far too casually for having just cum down your throat. His free hand took your hip between his fingers and hoisted you up to straddle his lap. He adjusted to sit normally in the seat and he took a moment to size you up. His gaze burned as his eyes trailed over your body and your legs tried to squeeze together again as another bout of wetness spilled out of you, but Seonghwa’s hips kept them apart. He noticed the attempt, however.
With a smirk, Seonghwa slid his hand into the waistband of your shorts and into your panties. You sucked in air only to release it with a whine as his cold fingers slipped between your folds, releasing the slick into his palm. He chuckled at you.
“Oh what have I done to you,” he started with mock remorse, a small pout painting his features, “only a true slut could get his wet from sucking dick, I suppose I have truly ruined you,” he finished with a wild smirk. Your hips ground into his palm subconsciously.
“Mmmhmmm” you sighed in agreement, absolutely loving when he spoke to you like that, only Seonghwa’s words could ever affect you like that. If anyone else said them it would sound vile.
“Yours,” you added with a hoarse voice, rocking your hips into his still hand again.
“Mine?” He asked, pretending to be confused, tilling his head to the side as if asking for clarification. Though the next words to leave your lips were no surprise to him, as he had taught you them.
“Your slut.”
-
It was getting harder to avoid Seonghwa at school. Not because either of your schedules changed, not because he stopped ditching as much as he did. In fact, those things hadn’t happened at all, it just seemed like they had. It seemed like everywhere you went you saw him. Either sauntering his way through the hallways, gathered with his like-minded friends in the courtyard, or even sitting in the far back of the single class you shared flipping his pen between two fingers as he stared absently out the window.
Once upon a time, before you had seen him as anything more than trouble making pretty boy, it had confused you how he had even managed to be in the same advanced literature class as you and it hard infuriated you when you discovered that Park Seonghwa had the audacity to be smart. Your one-track mind had seen it as a waste for him to have even a shred of intelligence behind his starry eyes when it was clear school was the last thing ever on his mind. But at the time you had pushed the thought aside, thinking that as long as you still stood at the top of the class it didn’t matter.
But when you found it most difficult to avoid Park Seonghwa was when he was leaned against the locker of some pretty face showing that crooked half-smirk that you had become so familiar with. And it caused quite a few unnamed emotions to stir in your stomach each time. Each time you shoved those emotions away before they had the chance to manifest. You had no right to feel them. It was your reputation at stake if the student body discovered that you were Park Seonghwa’s latest pass time, not his. In fact, it would probably gain him a feather in his cap from his crowd if they knew. You and Seonghwa had never discussed the exclusivity of your arrangement, you hardly had the clarity of mind to do so at any moment his gaze was focused on you, so you could never be sure if his velvet words had led him between the legs of any of the pretty faces you saw him with. And you didn’t allow yourself to dwell on it, even though very deeply wanted to know. Once again, you pushed the thoughts from your mind, as long as you still to be with him the most, it didn’t matter what those other people did with him.
But as the school slowly emptied at the end of the day, and you were making your way to the student council room once again (trying your hardest to not remember when he had taken you against a table in there as well) you found Seonghwa loitering in the hallway with a girl leaned against his chest inches away from his face.
You came to a dead stop. The gears of your brain are either unable or unwilling to comprehend what you saw. Why this particular time bothered you so much was a question you could not answer, it was not the first time, nor would it be the last. Normally you would simply turn your head and keep walking as though you had seen nothing, and you had almost convinced yourself to do exactly that when the girl noticed your presence.
“Do you need something?” She spat, clearly from the crowd that thought the student council was all prissy know it all’s, and you had to remind yourself that until very recently that is exactly what you were. But you were also stubborn. You composed yourself quickly and kept your eyes on the girl.
“Unless you have somewhere to be, I suggest you move your groping elsewhere. Somewhere off school grounds preferably.” You called in an even tone, thankfully your voice had not betrayed the way your stomach was churning.
“Come on, don’t be such a prude,” the nameless girl countered. Her choice of words temped you to glance at Seonghwa, but you had a feeling he would be looking at you, which you don’t know if you could handle.
“Trust me, the rest of the student body would be just as grossed out as I am, whatever is going on here is not as ‘hot as you think it is,” you added air quotes around the word for good measure. The girl smirked at you.
“I don’t know, I think they would be lucked to see such a sexy couple.” She retorted, her arms curling around Seonghwas middle. At the word “couple” you couldn’t help it, your eyes flashed to Seonghwa. He had the audacity to look amused as if the back and forth was the best entertainment he had seen all week.
You didn’t like that she used that word. You had absolutely no desire to be in a relationship with Seonghwa, quite the opposite, in fact, it would ruin you. But your mind flashed with the one word you heard him use perhaps most often, “mine.” Granted, you had never called him ‘yours,’ but the experiences he gave you seemed somehow cheapened if he was giving everyone else the same ones. You felt spiteful, what was the point in teaching you all those wonderful things if he could get them elsewhere. Those were the thoughts that spurred on your words.
“I’ll let them know when I find one then.” You deadpanned. It took her a moment to realize what you meant, then her mouth hung open. She looked ready to retort before Seonghwa cut her off.
“Why don’t you go home, leave this conversation to the big kids.” He said, looking at her for the first time since the conversation started. Once again, it took her a moment to realize it was her he was talking to, and then she gapped like a fish. Seonghwa had turned his eyes back to you, not bothering to entertain her shock. Finally, with a huff she stormed off, leaving you and Seonghwa alone in the hallway, locked in a stare-off.
“Kinda slow isn’t she? You can do better than that.” You grumble, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Oh I know I can,” he replied without missing a beat, but the less than subtle once over and the knowing smile he gave you only served to tick you off, rather than flatter you.
“Then why waste your time with her?” As soon as the words came out of your mouth you regretted them. They sounded far too much like jealousy for your taste, and based on the look in his eyes; an invitation as well. Seonghwa’s lean body pushed from the wall and took several long strides towards you, till he stood over you. His hand came to rest all too familiarly on your hip.
“Why? Have something better I can do with my time?” He said, not at all trying to hide his suggestive undertone. You scoffed, in an attempt to keep the burn of his stare away from your mind.
“Your disgusting,” you said, though it came out far less convincing than it sounded in your head. You took a step back from the all-to-magnetic boy. If someone came across you two now, you needed as much distance between him and you as possible.
“Are you going to report me? Madam President?” He replied in a moc disappointed tone.
“As if I adding today onto your record would change a thing. We have a filling cabinet for just you and your friends, Seonghwa. I don’t want to overflow it.” You threw back.
“I didn’t know the student council was such fans of my work.” He replied casually without missing a beat. You opened your mouth to retort but he cut you off.
“Come find me tomorrow night if you're still looking to help me waste time, princess,” he began, turning to grab his bag from the floor, “I think you have a council meeting to get from, wouldn’t want to get in your way of upholding the high standards of the school.” As he spoke he began walking away, only to throw a smirk over his shoulder at his last four words. Leaving you alone in the hallway.
-
You did not find him the next day. You had decided you were upset with him, not because of the girl, you told yourself, but because of the patronizing way he spoke to you. Not that that was different from normal. It just seemed to be the best way to allow yourself to be mad at him without those unwanted feelings worming their way into your brain.
Whether Seonghwa had even noticed your boycott was impossible to tell. He would never come to you, he wanted you to come to him. He never seemed even the slightest bit bothered in the few times you had glanced at him from the corner of your eye. He laughed with his friends without a care in the world and his blank face during class held no emotion besides boredom. You on the other hand, now that was a different story. You had become used to meeting up with him once or even twice a week in various places around town for your “lessons” and you had become “insatiable.” (his word not yours)
Your resolve to be mad at him was cracking as the days went on and was replaced with the need for him. Him and only him. No one else would do.
But in an effort to keep your resolve you threw yourself in the opposite direction, instead, making plans with the Vice President of the student council, a lovely girl named Marie.
Marie was your friend. She chose to use the words “gal pals” from time to time. An airy upbeat girl who rarely let her soft smile fall from her face. And right now, the furthest possible thing from spending time with Park Seonghwa.
So on Wednesday, both you and Marie piled into her silver car and drove off to her house. You both stumbled into her orderly bedroom with a fit of quiet giggles at the expense of several other council members. You shrugged your bag off your shoulders and plopped down onto the plush carpet beside her bed as she did the same.
“Oh my gosh, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever! Outside of council meetings obviously, I mean, I was starting to think you had found a different best friend and I was-“ Marie started rambling almost as soon as she sat down. You couldn’t help the small smile that found your lips. It’s true you had been neglecting her as your friend for the past month or so, instead of spending time with, well, him. But now that sat in her familiar room, seeing the pictures of the events you had planned together scattered on the walls, the sudden realization that you had indeed missed her was shocking.
“Sorry about that, there was some stuff going on at home, that needed my attention. But now I’m back!” You replied, trying to match her seemingly boundless energy. Her face screwed up in worry at your words.
“Oh no! Is everything ok? Do you want to talk about it?” She asked in her characteristic wide eyes. You shook your head.
“It’s not serious I promise. My parents were just redoing the garden and my mother insisted I be home every day to help planting and stuff.” You continued with the lie you had prepared. It was the same thing you had been telling everyone when they asked about your general absence.
She looked content with your answer, smiling and pulling her binder from her bag.
“So, the basketball game this Friday, I know we have the event mostly planned out but I think that we still need to-“ she started again, going right into her work. And you held up a hand to slow her.
“Woah hold on,” you started with a smile, “we have been planning this game for 2 weeks I think we can take a break tonight. You know? Just hang out a little?” You asked. She looked at you surprised.
“Since when have you ever wanted to take a break?” She asked with a curious glance but it broke into a smile, “come on, it’s the first game of the season and the coach asked us specifically to make sure that the whole school showed up and it runs smoothly. Besides if I do a good job I might just beat you out for president next year.” She said the last part with a low voice and a wiggle of the eyebrows.
But that wasn’t the part of her outburst that surprised you. She was right, when have you ever been the one to want to take a break? Surely you have been indulging yourself too much lately. You recovered your momentary lapse.
“Oh you wish,” you replied with a coy smirk that broke you both down into giggles once again.
The rest of your night was flung into a casual discussion with homework and planning galore.
-
Perhaps there are better places, and there are definitely better times. But since it came down to either the locker room showers or the back of Seonghwa car, at least the showers had more room.
Outside the door, the basketball game was raging on and I likely would be for the next hour. You could hear the school cheering along with the game, and the surprisingly loud squeaks of the player's shoes on the gym floor. Nobody would be coming in here till the game was over, you had until then.
You had been leaning against the sink when Seonghwa walked in. One look at him was all it took for you to be willing to break your streak, it’s hard to be mad at someone when you can’t glance at them without your mind flashing with every dirty thing they have done to you. So the moment he crossed over to you, you flung yourself at him. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck when your lips meet his. You could feel him smirking on your lips, but at the moment you couldn’t care less.
Seonghwa’s hands fell to your hips and to your utter dismay he used his grip to gently push your body away from him. A whine pulled from your lips as you looked up at him with pleading eyes. He looked amused.
“Hold on there princess, what’s the rush?” He asked head tiling to the side with a patronizing look. You huff at his words, tightening your arms around his neck you push yourself flush against him again.
“The rush is that I haven’t had time to see you all week and I’m going insane.” You convey in a tone that clearly says ‘shouldn’t this be obvious?’ Seonghwa’s eyebrow raised accusingly.
“Oh, is that what it was? That you didn’t have time?” He asked, though his tone suggested he knew the answer. You could feel yourself blushing, so he had noticed you had been avoiding him. Honestly, you didn’t think he would.
“Because I’m pretty sure I saw you and miss congeniality meeting up every day after school.” You wish now more than ever that you had more experience in the “relationship” field, even if this wasn’t one because you could not for the life of you decipher Seonghwa’s expression. His face was relaxed, showing no sign of anger or disappointment or any other emotion, but his eyes were staring you down with great intensity. But then again, he always seemed to do that.
“Council stuff.” You mumble in reply, trying with all your might to speak as casually as him. At this, Seonghwa gifted you with an expression you understood. Fake surprise.
“Oh, is that what it was?” He began, looking up at the ceiling as though pondering the idea, before looking back to you with that damned crooked smirk. His grip on your waist suddenly tightened. A moment later he had pushed you back against the sink, caging his arms around you.
“Or is it because you were jealous?” He was grinding madly now.
Jealousy. That was that emotion that you had been shoving down all week. How you had not realized it before was a mystery. But to hear it come from his mouth? It made you see red. Suddenly you were far angrier than you had any right to be. Your gaze hardened quickly and you did your best to put space between your bodies, though it was practically impossible with his arms changing you in and head leaning down into your face.
“Do you want to waste time talking, or are you going to fuck me?” You spat. He processed your words for a fraction of a second longer than necessary before he had the audacity to look amused.
“So you were jealous.” He practically giggles, shaking his head and looking down in amusement. The tips of his fluffy black hair brushed your nose and you almost swatted at it. How dare he? You pressed your hands into his shoulders and pushed against him, trying to move him away from you. He allowed you to move him, but not by much, just enough to give you a little room while you fume at him.
If you had the slightest bit of hindsight at this moment, you would have realized your anger was misplaced. You were angry at yourself for feeling that stupid emotion in the first place. But at present, blaming him seemed easiest. And the fact that your anger only served to amuse him made it feel a bit more justified.
“What’s so funny.” You spat, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He peered at you, and your clearly ticked-off demeanor before chuckling. His hands still gripped the porcelain sink behind you and for a brief moment, his hand flexed against the hard surface, holding some unseen emotion in the action.
“You are, princess. For someone so smart I forgot how absolutely clueless you can be about anyone who isn’t yourself.”
You almost stormed out of the room. And you probably would have if it wasn’t for the placement of his arms. But he continued speaking despite your livid expression.
“I was keeping up appearances.” He said in a flat tone. You could now add confusion into the storm of emotions brewing inside you.
“What does that mean?” You said the words with venom but there was a clear tone of lack of understanding in your voice. He, once again, found this amusing.
“Exactly what it sounds like. How would it look for me, if I suddenly started to ignore every advance made on me? Believe it or not sweetheart but I also have a reputation to uphold. Just the same as you. And since your the one who is so adamant that nobody knows about our ‘meetings’ it’s business as usual.”
Realization washed over you like water to a flame, all the rage dissipating just as quickly as it appeared, and your face softened. And then came the guilt. You just basically blew up on the man for doing exactly what you wanted him to, for doing exactly what you were doing by avoiding him. You had never before considered Seonghwa’s reputation in your musings. Your eyes glazed over a bit as you looked down, letting out a quiet “oh.”
You kept your gaze rooted to your shoes, unwilling to look at Seonghwa for fear of what you would see. You jumped when you felt his touch. One hand came to your waist and a gentle caress and the other took hold of your chin more firmly and tilted your head up to his eyes. And to your surprise, a coy smile lay across his features.
“It’s ok princess, your obliviousness was what drew me to you in the first place anyways. You were so caught up in your own little self-centered world you didn’t even notice how badly I wanted you till I had you pressed against the wall. I don’t think this would be as fun if I didn’t have to teach you a thing or two along the way,”
you blushed again at the memory and he slid his thumb against your lower lip. Your mouth parted automatically to wrap your lips around it, lulled into the submissive trace his silken words always put you in. He chuckled at you. “At least now I know you haven’t been messing around with anyone else. You’ve been too busy sulking over me to even notice if any other guys tried to seduce you.”
You hummed around his finger, slightly comforted by the fact he would have been jealous too. His words suggested that he wanted you to himself as much as you felt the same about him.
His thigh was suddenly pressing into your core and the hand on your waist dragged your hips across it. The skirt you wore did nothing to shield your panty-covered cunt from the rough denim of his jeans and your mouth hung open to mewl at him, his thumb still dangling from your lips. He leaned down to whisper in your ear.
“You wouldn’t let any other guys touch you, right princess?” He mumbles though he spoke like he already knew the answer.
You garbled put some kind of agreement as quick as you could. With a smirk, Seonghwa hiked up the fabric of your skirt to expose your damp underwear and lifted you ever so slightly by the waist onto the edge of the sink. There was a sliver of pride in his eyes at the way you spread your legs willing for him, presenting yourself as best you could, just as he had taught you. He pushed the fabric covering your pussy to the side and slide a fringed through the slick that gathered there. And you muffled a whine into his neck as your arms flung over his shoulder.
“I’m gonna have to be quick with you today sweetheart, the game is almost over, but wouldn’t want the whole basketball team to come piling in and see you like this would you.”
You shook your head as best as you could with your face nestled into his collar bones. Your eyes were screwed shut as his fingers continued to glide through your folds, sometimes barely slipping inside you before pulling out. He was working you up with well-practiced hands. He had learned his way around your body much faster than you had learned his, knowing all the ways to make you tick.
“No, this is for my eyes only, right sweetheart?” One of Seonghwa’s slim fingers caught your clit and you gasps, gripping the shirt covering his shoulders. He tutted at you.
“Don’t tell me you've forgotten what all I’ve taught you in just one week. Come on and use your words.” You could feel his words rumbling in his chest for how tight you held him. You were hesitant to pull away, but the edge in his voice urged on. Moving away just enough to let your voice carry.
“Only for you,” you mumble. Despite your quiet tone, you meant the words far more than you anticipated. Seonghwa pushed two long slim fingers inside you at your response, stretching your walls with ease. You gasped at the intrusion and buried your face in his chest again, trying to muffle any noises that may come out of you. There was still a game going on outside after all.
Seonghwa’s fingers arched inside you, brushing against the most sensitive place on your walls and your back arched. You could feel yourself getting louder and louder with every passing moment, but you were still unbearably on edge of being discovered.
“You especially responsive today, maybe leaving you alone for a while has its benefits.” Seonghwa mused into your hair as he worked, pulling even more sounds from you with every movement of his hand. His practiced fingers touched and toyed with you so well, it was impossible to keep quiet.
“No-“ you started in a shaky voice, not wanting to go so long without his touch like this again.
“Only joking sweetheart,” he giggles in your ear. But at that moment he pulled his skilled fingers away from your core and you choked on air. He ran his free hand up your spine in what was meant to be a gentle caress but it sent shivers through your body regardless. Your face stayed hidden against his body, at this point, his body heat seemed to be the only thing grounding you right now.
With your vision obscured there was a brief moment of heated silence where it seemed like nothing was happening, then the distinct sound of a belt clicking open and a zipper being pulled down echoed in the room. You pulled away from his chest and looked up at him with wide star eyes. He was already watching you with a smirk. Your mouth hung open with anticipation. He took in your face with a pleased expression, one hand coming down to cup your chin and tilt your head further up.
“I love it when you look at me like that,”
As soon as the words ended Seonghwa was crashing his lips onto yours and without missing a beat he thrust his length into your cunt in one quick movement. You were suddenly very thankful for the kiss, as it did well to muffle the cry ripping pst your lips. His grip on your hip was like iron as he began to set a pace. Each time pushing if possible even deeper inside you. You forced your legs to spread wider as your hands clawed down his back. Each time he filled you completely your body twitched as he brushed over your most sensitive spot.
Seonghwa still held your chin tightly in his palm, keeping your lips locked in a heated kiss. He seemed to be timing the kiss with his thrusts, which meant it was incredibly fast. He was kissing you as though he wished to devour you whole and at the moment you wanted nothing else but to allow him. Every few minutes the kiss would break as you both panted for air before it resumed with that same fervor.
Quite suddenly it became all too much, you were melting into him. Every stroke of his dick against your pulsing walls felt like fire shooting through your body in the best way, making you twitch uncontrollably. Your body acted of its own accord, hips bucking to meet his with every thrust and your hands grasping wildly against his back, trying to bring him impossibly closer. Several times you tried to break the kiss just to moan but his mouth chased yours and swallows up the sounds before they could escape.
And the kiss was something else entirely. You had kissed the man before but never like this. This felt so raw and unyielding. Every swipe of his tongue against your own felt like an invitation or a promise, for what you did not know. All of a sudden it felt entirely too intimate, too real. The kind of kiss reserved for true lovers in a moment of passion, not two teenagers fucking in a bathroom. But you couldn’t break away, not that you wanted to.
A gasp rang through the room. And in a moment that felt not unlike plunging into a freezing ocean, you realized that it had not come from you, or Seonghwa for that matter. Seonghwa had stilled to a halt inside you from the moment he heard it. He abruptly broke the kiss, sidestepping just enough that his broad back blocked the exposed parts of your body. But you couldn’t focus on the surprisingly chivalrous way he had protected you from sight, or the way he was mumbling under his breath as he righted himself and his clothes before doing the same to you.
No, your eyes were locked on the door. Where a mortified-looking Marie stood with her mouth hung open.
-
so can yall see what I was going for? or did I fail miserably lol.
#ateez smut#ateez reactions#ateez scenarios#ateez au#ateez timestamp#ateez headcanons#ateez imagines#seonghwa smut#seonghwa scenarios#seonghwa headcanon#seongwha timestamp#seonghwa au
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latch (Sam Kiszka x reader)
hey guys here's the little Sam enemies to lovers smut that was requested! idc if it’s a bit cheesy, I had a ton of fun writing it so please please please send in more requests! I love helping your ideas come to life!
Warnings: Smut (Oral-f and m receiving, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex)
Friday had finally rolled around and you were more than ready. After a long week of classes and work you were more than ready to have some fun tonight. You and your roommates were going to have some people over tonight to celebrate your second year of college almost being over. You had come up with the idea last weekend and quickly made a list of who all should be invited. There was one person on the guest list that you were dreading to see, no other than Samuel Kiszka.
You had met a kid named Danny Wagner in your first class freshman year, and you two became fast friends, sharing many of the same interests and hobbies. Together you and Danny were a dynamic duo, and you always made each other laugh. People often thought you were dating, but he already had a beautiful girlfriend back home. Danny also had another person constantly attached at his hip, Sam Kiszka, you’d almost think they were the ones dating.
Sam was a lanky kid with sharp features and an extremely annoying god complex. He really thought he was the absolute shit and that everyone was in awe of him. Quite honestly many people were, but you saw right through it. You found him to be arrogant and rude, and you were always disappointed to see him when you went over to Danny’s place, even though he was his roommate. Sam would often show up unannounced at your place too, mostly with Danny, but a couple of times he showed up alone. You were always polite, inviting him in like the good host you are, and you two ended up watching a movie together, and much to your surprise, in these times he was almost tolerable. Almost. He would make a snide remark or joke that would infuriate you, but he wouldn’t stick around for long, usually having somewhere to be. That somewhere was usually the bed of another girl, but they probably didn’t just watch movies.
That was another reason you couldn’t stand Sam. Last year you had a crush on him and he would do the thing where he would play with your emotion, hang out with you and flirt with you only to immediately go and fuck random girls. It hurt you, a lot, but you eventually got over it, losing the romantic feelings, or rather pushing them deep down where you’d hope they’d never surface again.
Now people were going to be at your house in an hour and you haven't even showered. It didn’t really matter though, you weren’t all too concerned with what other people thought of your appearance, so what if your hair was a little wet. You quickly rinsed off in a cold shower, then changed into a simple outfit for the night, flared corduroys and a crocheted tank top.
That was the other thing, you’d think you were exactly Sam’s type, he seemed like he would be into girls who were more artistic and down to earth, but all the girls he hooked up with seemed like they spent most of their time thinking about themselves. Not that there was anything wrong with those girls, you weren’t the “pick me” type, but it seemed like Sam would care about that kind of thing. Whatever, you don’t even like him anyways, he’s more of a nuisance than anything.
You had finished a seltzer by the time people started arriving, the playlist you and your roommates curated playing throughout the apartment. Being with your friends always made you very energetic, and people always said they liked being around you. You could get a crowd laughing in no time. People were coming through the doors and when there were about 75% of the people there, your partner in crime finally arrived. “Wagner!” you shouted across the room in a dumb accent, already a little buzzed. “Where art thou good friend?!” Danny yelled back, matching your accent as you two finally made your way to each other, wrapping him in a friendly embrace. “Where’s your obnoxious sidekick?” you whispered into his ear.
“Don’t worry he’s here. I know how you were just dying to see him.”
“Oh aren’t I always?” you responded with a sarcastic smile
“I still think you need to give him a chance, you’d probably really like him.”
Before you could even respond, he was running up behind Danny and lifting him up by his waist.
“Well if it isn’t dumb and dumber!” you exclaim before Sam comes up and wraps his arm around your shoulder.
“Oh come on (y/l/n), you love me!”
“Haha good one Kiszka, now why don’t we do something I actually love.”
“And what would that be?” Danny questions.
“Take a shot and dance our asses off!” you yell. If you were going to deal with Sam you needed to be a little more intoxicated.
You gathered your roommates and the boys and took them to the kitchen and got out the glasses.
“To friendship!” you yelled
Right then you caught danny say something quietly, and it looked like he was saying “Or more than friendship”
That made you stop for a second before throwing your head back and downing the shot.
“Ok let's get back out there” your roommate says as she pulls you by the arm.
You spend about the next half hour dancing with all your friends, taking hits of joints and drinking. You and Danny did a silly little dance you had come up with last year when you would get drunk in your dorms and do dumb shit. Mid-routine he slipped and pulled you down with him, both of you laughing your asses off. You felt someone grab your arm and help you up as the song changed, “Latch” by Sam Smith blasting through the speakers, one of the best party songs probably ever. The person who had grabbed you wrapped their arms around your waist, swaying back and forth with you to the music. You loosened the stranger’s grip and spun around only to be met with the face of that little shit, Sam.
“C’mon kid can’t you at least try to tolerate me for one song”
“Who ever said you were intolerable?” you respond, admiring how the dim light highlighted his features.
He leaned in close to your ear and lowly whispered in it “You think I can’t see it. Whenever you’re around me you act like it’s charity work.”
You pull back to look him in the eyes and say “It wasn’t always that way. Now let's get back to what we were doing. I like this song more than I like you, which is quite a lot.”
He gives you a grin before you start moving your body against him, and by the end of the song he’s staring at you in complete awe.
Once the song ended you broke free from his grasp. “See you later Kiszka” you say with a wink, turning around and disappearing into the crowd.
Your stomach was in knots, and not from disgust. The moment you just had brought up a lot of emotions, mostly about your romantic feelings for Sam but also the resentment you felt towards him. Fuck, you were in deep now. Things would be so much easier if you never had to see him again and all of this could go away. But alas, you needed to suck it up so you could still have a close relationship with Danny. Plus in about twenty minutes Sam would probably be grinding on another girl. Screw it, you were going to have a good time with your friends, you didn’t need Sam to be happy.
The rest of the night you avoided Sam, giving him zero of the attention he was craving. A couple hours later people were leaving your home or asleep somewhere in the living room, bathroom, kitchen you name it. Thankfully though, your room remained empty, you needed some space to think.
Everyone was asleep and the house was quiet, you threw on a pair of boxer shorts and an oversized Led Zeppelin shirt, passed down to you from Danny. You went to the kitchen and drank probably a gallon of water, making one last pit stop to the bathroom to pee and brush your teeth. No matter how tired you felt you knew you'd thank yourself in the morning. Finally you were on the way back to your room when you stopped in the doorway. Sam was standing in there, looking at all your decorations and your extensive vinyl collection.
“You’ve changed some stuff since the last time I was here”
“Yeah, I like to rearrange stuff y'know? keep it new and interesting.” You remarked, rubbing the back of your neck and yawning, trying to hide your obvious panic. This is the last thing you were hoping for, being confronted one on one with the man himself.
“Are you cool if I stay here tonight? Daniel is passed out on the couch and I don’t feel like making the walk home alone.”
“Of course...did you want to sleep in here?” you ask before you could even stop the words from coming out of your mouth. Fuck, you were a dumbass.
“If that’s okay with you, sleeping next to a stranger wouldn’t be my first choice.”
“You never had a problem being in a stranger’s bed before” you mumbled, looking at the floor.
He didn’t say anything, just turned his head to stare at you for a second, his eyes seeming almost apologetic.
“Well you might as well get comfortable” you tell him as you turn off the lights and flick the lamp on.
“Do you have a shirt I could borrow? I don’t really wanna sleep in jeans and a sweaty shirt.”
“Would you like an old one of Danny’s or one of mine?” you tease him, grabbing out yet another old band shirt of his roommate’s.
While he’s changing you turn away and busy yourself with lighting some incense and pulling the covers back, to avoid seeing his bare torso.
“Can I throw on a record? I can never get to sleep in the silence.”
“Help yourself” you say, but he already has a selection in his hands, Michigan by Sufjan Stevens, one of your favorites.
“Wonderful choice, but I imagine you’re a bit biased.” you say to him, both he and Danny were from the same town in Michigan and had to let everyone know.
“I just wanted something calm and serene, compared to all the fast paced stuff we’ve been blasting for the whole night.”
“Well it was a party Samuel, you have to give the people what they want” you tell him as you climb into bed.
Sam grabs for one of the pillows and a blanket, but you stop him.
“Were you gonna sleep on the floor like a dog? I don’t give a shit whether or not we share the bed.”
“I just assumed...I didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable...or anything.”
“You might be surprised by this but I actually feel pretty safe around you” you confess to him. Fuck, you were still slightly intoxicated so your filter was off. It’s okay, he was still a little drunk too it seemed.
“Do you mind if I take my pants off?” he asks you with a sincere look on his face.
You can’t help but burst out laughing, finding his awkwardness and the absurdity of the comment quite hilarious.
“I’d prefer it to your rough jeans...as long as you’re wearing underwear.”
“C’mon I’m not that much of a freak” he says as he pulls down his zipper and clumsily kicks his pants off.
You couldn’t help but stare for a moment, he looked gorgeous quite honestly, long hair tangled, old shirt hanging off his shoulders and shark boxer briefs stopping at his mid thigh.
“Okay Kiszka, get in here before I change my mind.”
He pulls back the sheets and crawls in, laying his head on the pillow facing you.
“I’m sorry” he says, looking deeply in your eyes, seeming almost ashamed.
“About what?” you knew you shouldn’t feed into this, whatever was going on here was completely platonic and wouldn’t mean anything in the morning.
“Everything. Being such a dick to you. Leading you on. I promise that’s not me, I just, I honestly don’t know how to act around you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re just the one person who actually kinda intimidates me. Or at least my feelings for you intimidate me.” he sighs.
“Is that why you are always fucking other girls and telling people about it when I’m around?”
“God you’re not going to take it easy on me, are you?”
“Why should I?”
“You shouldn’t. With the way I’ve treated you I honestly don’t expect anything from you, I just couldn’t hold it in any longer and I thought this was as good of a time as any.”
“Sam, can I be honest with you?”
“Of course”
“I actually don’t hate you at all like you seem to think. I can’t stand you because I really do like you, but I gave up on anything happening a long time ago.”
“Well you did a pretty good job of hiding it” he says, moving a little closer to you to the point where your noses were almost touching, the feeling of his breath giving you goosebumps. The music hummed softly in the background as you thought for a second.
“Sam don’t hate me but we’re both kinda drunk and I don't wanna do anything right now. I wanna be there for it, like fully there.”
“I was actually hoping you’d say that. I wanna take in every detail and remember it all. You’re not just another drunken hookup.”
You can’t help but give a soft smile, your cheeks going red.
“Well maybe I wouldn’t be opposed to a bit of cuddling”
“Neither would I” he says as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you in close as you bury your head in his chest, taking in his scent.
Something overtakes you, and you tilt your head up and press a soft kiss to his collarbone.
“Goodnight Samuel”
“Goodninght kid” he whispers, pressing his lips to the top of your head, and you can feel him breathing in your scent as well, elated to finally feel wanted.
********************************************************************************************************
You wake up to sunlight streaming through your curtains, turning to look at your clock but instead being met with Sam’s chest.
You were sober enough last night to remember everything that happened, Sam’s feelings for you coming to light and vice versa. It made you almost giddy with excitement, not being able to wait until his eyes opened.
You played with his hair, running your fingers through it and moving it from his neck, replacing it with your lips. Soon enough he’s stretching his arms and yawning.
“Any reason you needed to wake me up at 7 am?” he asked you, looking down at you as the pad of his thumb brushed across your cheek.
“Just couldn’t wait to see you I guess”
“That's a first” he says sarcastically, once again staring deep into your eyes.
You could hear the birds singing outside and a refreshing spring breeze made its way into your room through the open window.
You stared at each other for a second longer before he whispered “Can I?”
You nodded your head yes and he dipped his head down to capture your lips in a kiss. It started off sweet and then your lips started moving in a rhythm, his hands grabbing your legs and pulling you onto his lap. He kept kissing you as your tongue made its way into his mouth, causing his hips to buck up into you. You pulled back and let out a soft sigh, basking in the feeling of him growing hard against your core. He took this as an opportunity to attach his lips to your neck, sucking at the delicate skin and leaving little nips.
“Can I take this off?” you ask him, hands grabbing at the hem of his shirt.
“Please” he groans against your neck.
You pull it off and instantly your hands run along the expanse of his smooth skin, admiring every freckle and mole, fingertips brushing across his nipples. You pull your hands away to pull your own shirt off, blushing a bit, slightly embarrassed to show yourself to him. He takes a moment to stare at the newly exposed skin, pulling you down into a kiss a moment later and mumbling “You’re absolutely stunning” into your lips.
“You’re not too bad yourself” you say with a smile spreading across your face, quickly losing it as you bite your lip when he starts to move his hips once again, his bulge rubbing deliciously against your already wet core.
“I need more of you” he grunts, obviously frustrated.
You tangle your hands in his hair and pull his head back a bit, looking down into his eyes before saying “then have me”, pulling him into a kiss.
In a swift movement he flips you both over, kneeling with his legs on either side of you.
“These need to come off” he says, tugging at the waistband of the boxers you slept in. As he pulled them off and the cold air hit your core, you couldn’t help but drink all of him in, admiring just how gorgeous he looked, as if he was sculpted by the gods himself. That moment ended when you felt his middle finger run lightly up and down your slit. You threw your head back and closed your eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his skin on yours.
“Please Sammy, I need you” you say, surprised at yourself for using that nickname with him.
He looks at you and smiles before lowering his gaze to your dripping cunt, furrowing his brows as he pushes his long finger inside of you. You mewl as he pushes it down to the last knuckle, letting you adjust for a moment before starting to slowly pump in and out.
“Fuck you’re tight. So much better than I imagined.”
“So you’ve thought about this before?” You smirk at him, turning your eyes to look at the sight of his finger pumping in and out.
“Quite a lot actually, I’ve thought a lot about how you taste too” he says before readjusting himself so his head is buried in between your thighs. It only takes a second for his tongue to find your clit as he inserts another finger and starts to pump a little faster.
“Fuck you’re good at this” you say as you let out a breathy moan, hands once again finding their way into his hair. That causes him to moan around your clit, sending vibrations through your whole body. You don’t know how much longer you’d be able to last, with Sam lapping at you like it’s his last meal.
You pull his hair, forcing his lips to part from your sensitive bud, pulling him into a sloppy kiss.
“I wanna taste you too” you say before getting up and kneeling on the floor in front of your brd, motioning him to sit with his legs over the side, facing you. You look up at him as you pull his boxers down, length hitting his stomach. You take a second to admire it, with its pink head, a large vein running up the bottom. It was a nice length, with quite a bit of girth to it, surrounded by a small patch of pubic hair. As you wrapped your hand around it you said “not to be weird or anything but your dick is gorgeous”, causing him to let out a light laugh that was quickly stifled when you wrapped your head around the tip of his cock. His fingers intertwined with your hair, lightly pulling it, not forcing you down on his dick like some guys do. You gently moved your head up and down, taking as much of him as you could in your mouth and using your hand to stroke the rest.
“Fuck I need to be inside of you” he groans, tugging at your hair, causing you to pull your mouth off his dick with a small pop.
“Can I ride you?” you question as you make your way back onto the bed.
“Fuck yes, I can’t promise how long I’ll last though” he says, pulling you in for another kiss as you line him up up with your entrance. You run his tip along your slit a few times before slowly starting to lower yourself down, taking your time to adjust to his size. Once he’s fully sheathed inside of you, he throws his head back, letting out a guttural moan.
“Fuck, you feel so fucking good, I’ve wanted this for a long time.”
“So have I” you say before starting to slowly move yourself up and down on him.
It’s lazy and sweet, not perfect or anything, but nothing about this situation really was. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Fuck” he remarks as he grabs your hips, fingers sinking into your skin,helping you move up and down on his delicious cock.
“You fill me up so perfectly, god you feel so good”
“I guess it was meant to be baby” he says with a grin, putting his fingers in his mouth then moving them down to rub circles around your clit.
“Fuck Kiszka, if you keep taht up I’m gonna cum.”
“That was my goal, I’m close too” he breathes out as he buries his head in your neck.
You clutch the back of his head as you start to move yourself up and down faster, fucking yourself on his cock.
“Fuck Sam I’m gonna cum”
“Me too babe, where do you want me to?” he asks shakily.
The only word you can muster out is “Inside” as you approach your peak, clenching around him once more before tipping over the edge.
It’s complete bliss as you ride out your high, feeling him give one last deep thrust into you before coating your walls with his warm ropes of seed.
You collapse against him, nuzzling your head into his neck, pressing sloppy open mouthed kisses as you both catch your breath.
He pushes your hair to the side, leaving his lips on your temple while he remains sheathed inside you.
“Thank you” he says, still regaining his breath and returning to reality.
“Don’t leave me” you say softly into his ear.
“I wouldn’t for the world, don’t you worry kid.”
You sit up and look into his soft brown eyes, taking in how much things have changed in the past few hours.
“I don’t hate you. Not in the least. I just hated the idea of not being with you.”
“Same here, but we don’t have to feel that anymore. I’m sorry for the way I treated you. You deserve the world, and I want to try my hardest to give it to you.”
“Thank you Samuel, I’ll try to do the same.”
You give him one last long kiss before pulling back, pushing his hair behind his ear and saying “C’mon loverboy, let’s go get some breakfast.”
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How about top five pet peeves you would erase from existence (and/or fix) if a genie was super generous in granting you wishes?
been staring at this one for a while because I know I have many pet peeves but most of them I wouldn't actually necessarily want to erase from existence because at least some of them would be impinging on other peoples' right to do things that are perfectly fine and I don't actually want them to do that, I just want them to not do things around me sometimes.
but okay let's think about this. things that bother me that I feel like if I could wave them away it wouldn't make peoples' lives measurably worse... (keeping this to like. relatively minor/innocuous things.)
1. Thinly veiled character bashing fic. Probably the least serious one on this list and also the most online but hey, it's my pet peeves, and this is definitely one. Look, I get it if you don't like a character, if you want to give that character their comeuppance or whatever, but there's a certain genre of fic that very clearly only exists to air the author's grievances about a specific character and make them The Worst Ever and Everything Is Their Fault and They Should Be Miserable for the Rest of Forever. And it's just. It doesn't make for good fic, tbqh, if nothing else. And it's definitely irritating to find for fans of that character when they're browsing the tag.
And if you think I'm talking about a specific character, I'm really not. This has been a thing with many different characters in pretty much every fandom I've been in, and it always drives me nuts. Yes, even when I don't like the character.
2. The need to publicly air grievances. Speaking of publicly airing grievances! I was talking about this with some friends and I think it would be great if everyone - and I am including myself in this though I'm making an effort - would make more use of the "complaining privately to a friend" function rather than the "blasting personal feuds into the public domain." In general I think that "dealing with conflict privately" is something that is a good practice and possibly underutilized on the internet these days. And I think it would also cut down on the phenomenon of someone complaining about something specific and then someone else assuming it's about them personally and reacting angrily.
3. People listening to music in public without headphones. Moving off online behaviors - reblogged a post about this recently but particularly as a public transit taker I would like to beg everyone to please stop inflicting your music upon me, I don't want to hear it, I don't care how good you think your music is, this is not sharing a fun experience, this is making me want to scream/throttle you/cry depending on how hypersensitive to noise I am feeling on a given day. Just put it headphones. Please.
4. The existence of Twitter. Maybe this is hyperbolic but like. I don't think Twitter is the source of the evils of our modern age or anything, it's not, but it's definitely not helping. And also I just personally find Twitter and everything about it absolutely infuriating. Redeeming factors? I guess it still allows smutty fanart. That's about all I've got. I'm not going to axe it immediately, people can have time to find alternate ways to keep in touch/archive things they want to archive, but then. It's gone.
5. Chronic pain. Yeah okay this one is significantly more serious than the rest of the things on this list but speaking from my position of having dealt with back pain starting in my teenage years and knowing many, many people who have it worse than I do - come on! I recognize that pain is a means of telling me that something is wrong but maybe say it once and don't just. Keep yelling about it constantly. It's not helping. The problems aren't going to go away because the human body is a miraculous mess but it seems like maybe the pain thing specifically could be dialed down a little.
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Deadbeat Pt. 3
Lee Bodecker x F!Reader
18+ ONLY
Warnings: age gap (reader is 21), smut, cursing, abandonment, infatuation, cheating/divorce, angst, mild housewife kink, mentions of prostitution, mentions of alcohol, corrupt official
Word Count: 4.7k
Summary: You work at the bar at the edge of town, the Sheriff is going through a divorce and needs to rent a room.
A/N: I’m terrible at writing summaries and I’m so sorry about that! I don’t think I would consider this a dark!fic, but it does cover a lot of themes, and topics that are darker than I usually write about- but I think that comes with the territory of writing about Lee Bodecker. I’ll make sure to update the warnings for each chapter and do not read if you are underage. I also ignored canon for this one.
This is unedited, and I missed anything I should include as a warning let me know! This chapter introduces some new plots and conflicts, so it jumps around a little more than the previous ones.
I hope you all enjoy!
I also am having some writer’s block with my Obi-Wan Kenobi miniseries I was working on, so expect Part 3 sometime Sunday hopefully! So sorry for the delay on the final chapter.
Tags and Requests are OPEN
Part One // Part Two
Henry Curtis was one of the most infuriating people Lee had ever met. Curtis was a writer for the Columbus newspaper and constantly pestering the Sheriff. Curtis seemed to have a sixth sense for whenever the Sheriff did anything. He was desperately trying to catch the Sheriff doing anything but so far had remained unsuccessful. Curtis was the biggest obstacle Lee faced in winning re-election. The man would show up out of nowhere, pen and pad in hand ready to find anything that would be enough to keep the Sheriff out of office.
Maybe Curtis was just doing his job, but Lee always felt like it was much more personal. It was probably just his own resentment of the man who was just doing his job. But the man didn’t have to be so goddamn invasive. When the Sheriff had devised his plan on offering to rent a room from you, he was so tied up in his own mess of divorce and his somewhat confusing feelings towards you he had completely forgotten about the press. They would have a field day with the divorce alone, but now on top of everything else, Lee knew he should be more careful.
Lee always had to be careful, especially if he was meeting Leroy Brown. Lee would make sure he drove way out of town, and always insisted they met at a different location every time. This would infuriate Brown but Lee was the only lawman he had working for him. Sometimes Lee would drive several hours out of the way, always at some deserted ghost town or some sad excuse for a diner or a bar. Always somewhere no one would recognize him.
Lee lied to you and told you he and a few of the deputies would need to drive out of town for a stakeout when he needed to meet with Brown. It was one of those nights, sitting in the cruiser with the headlights off, as he parked in an abandoned parking lot almost two hours out of town.
He had been able to put this off for a couple weeks, lying about other legitimate jobs getting in the way. Honestly, it was because he wanted to one, avoid anything that would cause suspicion from Henry Curtis hearing he was back in town and two, he was selfishly allowing himself to just spend his nights at his new home, spending all the time he could manage with you. It was like being in that little white house was a place where he could let himself be delusional, and time spent with you was what his life actually was, not this mess he was currently dealing with. He wanted out.
Lee knew he wasn’t a good man. He knew that his laundry list of offenses had tarnished his badge a long time ago. He knew what he was doing, and before he never cared. Now, he’s thinking about how his actions could affect you. You were innocent, unaware of everything he was stuck in. He knew you weren’t stupid, and he was sure the town knows some about his corruption. But now, he couldn’t rationalize away his actions for any reason when it came to you. Janie? She didn’t care and would encourage it. She’d be in on it too. She’d have no problem lying to ladies at Church or starting other rumors to keep the town talking about anyone but Lee. She was as power hungry as he was sometimes, which could be a testament as to how their loveless marriage held together for so long.
***
“Hi, I’m looking for a Ms. (Y/L/N)?” the man asked when he approached you, talking a seat at one of the barstools.
“Who’s asking for her?” you asked raising an eyebrow.
“I’m Henry Curtis, I work for the Columbus Dispatch.”
“The newspaper?”
“That’s the one.”
“Why are you looking for her?”
“I’m doing a story on her mother’s marriage to Harvey Tucker.”
“She’s not here tonight. But I can let her know you were here. Do you got a card?”
The man pulled out a business card from his wallet and slide it across the bar. You picked it up and read all the information before putting it in the pocket of your apron.
“Seems weird for the Columbus paper to want to do a story on that a month and a half after it happened,” you said skeptically.
“We did cover the story when it happened,” Curtis informed you. “Doing a follow up since the story broke about his wife missing.”
“Missing?” you ask. “Do they know what happened?”
“Robbed the bastard blind and then ran apparently,” Curtis said casually looking past you at the chalkboard on the wall. “Scotch, neat.”
“Yes, sir,” you reply, grabbing the bottle from the shelf. “Has anything else been found out yet?”
“Not yet, that’s why I’m here. Checking in to see if she’d come back here because I heard Ms. (Y/L/N) still lives around these parts.” He then pulled a newspaper out of the inside pocket of his coat and started flipping through the pages.
“She has another kid too, right?” you asked, playing dumb. “A boy, I think. Do you know where he is?”
“Couldn’t say,” he sounded very indifferent, “Most likely went with her but who knows? I went to the Sheriff’s office to see if they knew anything but the Sheriff wasn’t there.”
“That’s too bad,” you say. “I’m sure Sheriff Bodecker would help you help if he can.”
Your statement made Mr. Curtis chuckle, but you didn’t follow up on it. You were just focusing on getting as much information about your mother and brother as you could.
“Speaking of Mr. Bodecker,” he began, “I recently saw his wife is getting remarried. Saw the announcement of the engagement in the paper.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” you respond, skeptically. You didn’t know why but you didn’t trust this man. It was something in the tone of his voice, or maybe it was just how he held himself. Very polished, a suit and a nice dress jacket. He looked very out of place in this town, and this little bar.
“You familiar with the Sheriff at all, miss?”
“Not too well,” you shrug, “Haven’t had any run-ins with the law myself.”
“Not even a speeding ticket?” He asks, only a little condescendingly.
“Can’t get a speeding ticket if you don’t have a car,” you point out.
“Touché,” he chuckles before taking a sip of his drink.
He doesn’t ask you anymore questions, and when he leaves, he gives you a five-dollar tip.
***
Lee receives his cut from Brown. There was nothing new to report on that front and his meeting went by smoothly. All Lee had to do was to turn a blind eye, and make sure the rest of the department stays unaware of the brothel’s existence. Brown always insisted on meeting with him, wanting to know what the Sheriff’s department was investigating and making sure his businesses stayed under the radar. He felt sick, and is preoccupied with the fact he has an envelope of dirty money in the cruiser’s glovebox.
It’s around midnight when he pulls up to the house. He expects that you’re already asleep, but he notices the lamp is on in the living room. He takes the money out of his glovebox and tucks it away into the inner pocket of his jacket. Coming inside, he finds you on the couch, knees pulled to your chest, staring at the business card Mr. Curtis had given you. You face is stained with dried up tears, and you still haven’t even changed out of your work clothes.
“What’s that?” he asks, the sight of you breaking his heart. He winces because he comes off a lot harsher than he meant.
“Some reporter came while I was at work wanting to talk to me,” you explain softly, you sound exhausted. “Wanted to talk to me cause he’s doing a story on my mother. Apparently, she’s on the run from the Columbus police.”
You extend your hand to give Lee the card. He feels his jaw clench when he reads the information. “What happened?” he asks, taking a deep breath and sitting down next to you.
“I pretended I wasn’t me,” you say, another tear rolling down your cheek. “He came in asking for me so I said I’d pass his card on. I didn’t want to tell him who I was because he didn’t explain why he was looking for me at first. I don’t know- just scared me. I’m more upset about the news itself than him.”
“You did the right thing,” Lee said softly, placing a hand on your shoulder comfortingly. He was angry, but he didn’t show it. It worried him, fucking Curtis snooping around this close to you. It made him feel protective, wanting to shield you from the whole ordeal. He had been on the receiving end of unsolicited attention from the press and he knew how ruthless they were. He knew this wouldn’t be the only time Curtis would try to get in touch with you. He’d find out where you lived, he’d continue to show up while you were working- the whole nine yards. He didn’t want you going through that.
Curtis talking to you also made him incredibly paranoid. It was his two worlds that he desperately wanted to keep apart were colliding. He knew it was impossible, but he so wanted to keep you separated from the other part of his life. It wasn’t who he wanted you to see. Hell, he hasn’t even been here for a month. It wasn’t that he wanted to keep you in the dark, at least that wasn’t entirely intentional. Actually, he wasn’t sure, maybe it was intentional. However, it wasn’t just you he wanted to hide aspects of his life from. He wanted his involvement with Brown and others hidden from every goddamn registered voter. You were no different, he tried to rationalize. But that wasn’t true. These feelings he harbored for you, were getting worse. He needed to unwrap himself from this situation, and for the sake of you finding out he was a shill, keep you away from that asshole. He didn’t want to let himself think about how the way you look at him would change.
And here he was, making the situation all about him. It was in his nature.
“He’s just going to show up again if I don’t call him,” you say, wiping your eyes. “Maybe I should just call him in the morning. Just be honest and say I don’t know anything. He can keep coming around but nothing is going to change.”
“I can take care of it,” he says. He couldn’t risk you talking to Curtis again. For all he knows, Curtis would tell you all about the story on the Sheriff he’d been trying to confirm for years. Lee knew he couldn’t let that happen. He fully intends on telling you, but how the hell do you bring that up? ‘Hey doll, I’m also on the payroll of every pimp and bootlegger in a ten-mile radius, just letting you know.’ It wasn’t going to come up, unless Curtis tells you about it. He’d be hoping to pull himself out if it, show you how you made him want to be better.
For now, he settles for comforting you, and just being there to take care of you. Make you feel better. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and lets you cry into his chest. He sighs, kissing the top of your head in a friendly way and you curl up against him. Under different circumstances, you probably wouldn’t have let yourself do this- show your vulnerability or allow anyone to comfort you like this. But it was all the events of the past month, your mother leaving, everything, just all hitting you at once, and you were happy you weren’t alone.
In the morning, you wake up on the couch with a blanket over you. You see Lee asleep in the chair, and you realize he stayed with you all night. It makes your heart flutter. You pull the blanket up over your chin and close your eyes again. You felt surprisingly well rested. The stress and worry were pushed to the back of your mind long enough to let you get some sleep. It still lingered in the back of your mind, but you reminded yourself that for now, there was nothing you could do. You had the day off, and you let yourself have a little longer time to sleep in.
You woke up to the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of sizzling on the stove. When you opened your eyes, Lee was no longer in the chair. You sat up and looked toward the kitchen, where you saw Lee with his back to you while he worked with the pans on top of the stove. The portable radio was positioned on the counter, and it was playing at a low volume, so it wouldn’t wake you up.
“Hey,” you say softly, still waking up as you walk into the kitchen.
“Morning, doll,” he says, glancing back at you for a moment. “How’re you feeling?”
“A little better,” you admit, grabbing a mug for yourself out of the cabinet. You pour yourself a cup of coffee, savoring the smell before making it how you usually take it. “Thank you for sitting with me,” you say honestly, “you didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” he says with a small grin. “I just wanted to help.”
“I really appreciate it, Lee,” you reiterate your thanks, hopping up to take a seat on the counter, watching him cook breakfast. “Didn’t know you knew how to cook,” you joke, making him chuckle.
“I’m full of surprises, sweetheart,” he smirks, making you feel flushed. You take another drawn out sip of your coffee to try to distract yourself. You watch his arms, and his hands as they maneuver and flex when he cooks. You imagine how they must feel, your eyes focused on the veins. You bit your lip and it reminds you of the dream you had a little while back when he first moved in. You imagine him stepping in between your legs as your propped up on the counter, his hands gently gripping your thighs and-
“I’ll get it,” you announce hurriedly as you hear someone knock on the front door. You hop off the counter careful to not spill your coffee, and head to answer the door. Lee watches you bounce out of the room, fixing your hair as you go and you don’t catch his smile.
“Arvin,” you say surprised, stepping out onto the porch. “What are you doing here?” you ask, with a small grin. You’re confused but nonetheless happy to see him.
“You look like you’ve been crying,” he observes, concern written all over his face.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say dismissively, “Just last night I was thinking about my ma and everything. Just had trouble sleeping is all.”
“The Sheriff didn’t do anything?” Arvin asked in a hushed tone, looking over your shoulder to see if Lee could hear you two.
“No, nothing, he’s been perfectly fine,” you say coming to the Sheriff’s defense. “I know you and Ms. Russell are worried, I know how it must look- but Arvin I swear he’s just my tenant. He’s been nothing but a gentleman.”
“Just making sure,” he says, letting it go for now. “Lenora asked me to bring these by for you.” He hands you the glass baking dish that you can see is filled with homemade cinnamon rolls. “She’s been practicing making all kinds of baked goods for when the Church does that bake sale and has me running all over town giving it away cause me and Uncle Earskell can’t keep up with it all.”
“Tell her thank you for me,” you say with a smile, “And I’ll bring the dish with me to Church tomorrow- give it back to her.”
“She misses you I think,” Arvin says sheepishly, pushing his hands into his front pockets. “I mean- I do- I think my whole family does- we all do. I’m sorry my grandmother hasn’t asked you over in a while…”
“I understand,” you nod. “Reputation is an important thing.”
“I just didn’t want you to think it was because of us,” he says looking down at the porch, his eyes fixed on a loose board. “You know how she is- everything no matter the context is somehow a sin. Scared to death of her own shadow…”
“I know you’re not that resentful, Arvin Russell,” you chuckle and he relaxes. “And I don’t hold any hard feelings towards anyone in your family- you all have always been good to me.”
“Well, um,” he says awkwardly, looking like he was holding back from saying more. “I got to hit a couple more houses before I head to work, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at Church?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Oh- I wanted to let you know,” he says, turning around as he’s already heading down the front steps, “The principal down at the high school is looking for secretaries- Lenora heard and thought you might be interested. It pays like $35 a week, I think. You should call Linda Carson; I think Lenora said- that’s the woman who’s in charge of hiring people, I think.”
“I’ll call the school first thing Monday morning,” you say, grin stretching from ear to ear. Arvin nods and says goodbye again. You walk back into the house like you’re on top of the world. You couldn’t contain your excitement. That job if you could get it would be a dream. You’d be making so much more than you’re already making. You were so excited.
“You’re in a much better mood than when I last saw you,” Lee jokes. He’s sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper while he eats his breakfast. You notice that he made you a table setting- brought your coffee over and everything. You place the baking dish in the middle of the table and sit down.
“That was Arvin,” you say happily, and Lee feels his heart sink into his stomach.
“Oh yeah?” he asks, trying to not let on how his heart feels like it’s crushed. He knew it was only a matter of time before a boy would come around- whether it be Arvin or someone else your own age.
“Well, first he was just dropping off baked goods Lenora made,” you say gesturing to the dish on the table. “He’s going around to everybody, I guess. He mentioned the high school is looking for office secretaries- Lenora wanted me to know. Thirty-five dollars a week! I’m going to talk to Linda Carson about it Monday morning. Can you imagine? I could get a secretary job.”
Lee feels just a crash of relief wash over him. He’s so happy that you are looking at a new job. You deserve better than that bar. He knew you deserved the job just as much as any of the other candidates. You work harder than anyone he knows.
“That’s fantastic, sugar,” he replies. “You deserve it.”
“Do you think I have a chance?” you ask, feeling a little self-conscious- you knew you weren’t as experienced as other candidates would be for sure.
“Of course, I do,” he says, putting down the paper to give you his full attention. “I feel like you getting this job is a definite. There’s no doubt about it.”
“You’re just buttering me up,” you scoff, finishing up your food, making him chuckle. You may have also seen his cheeks redden, but you couldn’t say for sure. You finish off your coffee, and then bring you dishes back to the kitchen, leaving them in the sink. Lee turns his attention back to his newspaper and you head upstairs to get ready for your day.
When you head upstairs, Lee notices that you took the radio with you- and he could hear you were listening to music from upstairs. He decides before it’s too late to ring Mark Cunningham. The line rings a couple of times before Mark answers.
“Cunningham.”
“Morning, Mark. It’s Sheriff Bodecker,” he smirks.
“What can I do for you Sheriff?” he asks, the sound of shuffling paper comes through as well. Most likely flipping through the paper.
“I wanna call in that favor you owe me,” he says, casually pacing the living room, holding the receiver up to his ear and the base of the rotary phone in the other.
“Of course, Sheriff,” he says. A while back, Bodecker busted the principal making moonshine in his old barn that was at the end of his property. Lee looked the other way and was waiting for the right thing to call in a favor for.
“I want you to hire (Y/N) (Y/L/N) for the secretary job,” he says, looking to the stairs, making sure you aren’t coming. The music is still playing loudly from upstairs so he determines he’s still got time.
“That’s all?” Mark asked surprised.
“That’s all I want from you,” Lee replies. “I expect you can make that happen?”
“Without a doubt. When can she start?”
“Still have her come in for an interview. I don’t anyone else knowing I called you about this- including her.”
“Done.”
With that, Lee hangs up the phone, feeling really good about this decision. He knew how much that job meant to you- he could see it in your eyes and how excitedly you talked about it. He can’t wait to see you when you find out you get the position. He knows it’s going to make you so happy. He knows you’d be a fantastic candidate, but this just eliminates any doubt. He reasons that there isn’t much difference, since you were very likely to get it anyways. He just had to make sure.
He can picture you know, coming home from the interview- excited to tell him that you got the job. You’d be so excited you’d jump up and hug him tightly, just so overjoyed that you let your feelings take over. You’d wrap your legs and around his waist and he’d hold you up by holding the back of your thighs. You’d wrap your arms tightly around him and bury your head in the crook of his neck. You’d lift your head up to look at him, embarrassed at your actions and then he’d press his lips to yours. You’d gasp softly, but your lips would melt against his own and your arms would wrap tightly around his neck. He’d walk forward, pressing you up against the wall and he’d kiss your neck mumbling praises of congratulations against your skin as his name falls from your lips at how good he’d make you feel. It’s almost unbearable how bad he wants you.
He heads to him room to get ready for his day, but his mind is still clouded with thoughts of you. He thinks about how much he wants nothing more that to just pin you on his mattress. He wonders if you know how crazy you make him. Sometimes there’s something in your eye that makes him think you want him too, but he’s not sure. His better judgement holds him back from everything he wants to do. He thinks about how it must feel to have his head right in-between your thighs. Back in the kitchen together, he wanted to just get on his knees and worship you. The feeling of them pressing against him as he sucks on your clit and runs his tongue across your folds.
Serval hours later, he can’t shake the thoughts, even sitting in his office at the sheriff’s station- working on a Saturday yet again. He’s cooped up in his office, unable to get through any of the paperwork that has piled up on his desk. He’s thinking about you, again, but in this daydream, you’re bent over his desk- because you came by to see him on your break from work at the school. His office door locked and his blinds pulled so he can bend you over and take you right there- rough and fast, sending you back to work with a feeling of him still there between your legs well after you’re back at your own desk, still sore from the encounter.
“You got a visitor, Lee,” the intercom on his desk lights up.
“Send ‘em in,” he responds back, shaking his head to snap out of it. He needed to get a grip.
“Sorry I didn’t call,” you say, walking into his office. His eyes widen and he wonders if he’s still day dreaming. He discreetly pinches himself. You’re actually here, standing in his office, while he looks at you dumbfounded. Part of him would think he manifested it if he was a man of any faith. “You forgot this,” you say, putting his wallet on the desk. “You must have taken it out of your back pocket before falling asleep in the chair last night. It was laying on the coffee table. I figured I’d stop by with it while I was coming up this way anyways.”
“You’re a doll,” he grins, putting his wallet in his back pocket. “What are you doing?”
“I took the bus to the library to return some books, and now I’m going shopping for something to wear when I go in for an interview since I have the day off to go,” you explain. “I’m also probably going to get lunch after that before heading back home. I just didn’t want to be home in case that reporter stopped by. I’m not ready to talk to him yet.”
“I can take care of it,” he says, “He’ll make his way over here soon enough. I can talk to him.”
“You would do that for me?” you ask, the relief evident across your whole face.
“Yeah, I can talk to him, let him know you gave a statement here,” he says. You nod. “You know as much as he does, so it doesn’t matter if I tell him you don’t know shit or if you tell him.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh, so relieved thinking that you won’t have to hear from Henry Curtis again. “If he tells you anything about them… will you let me know?”
“Of course, sweetheart.”
“Thank you,” you say, hurriedly walking over behind him and quickly hugging his shoulders. You then are back by the door again before he can register the gesture. “Are you going to be home tonight?” you ask, your hand on the doorknob.
“Not until late,” he says reluctantly, and he can see the disappointment on your face- unless his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Okay,” you say finally, “Um, I’ll see you later then.”
“Bye, doll,” he says when you walk out of his office.
Are you going to be home tonight? Your voice lingers in his head. It was such a harmless phrase that could’ve just been one of curiosity. Maybe you were just asking because you were thinking about what you were doing for dinner. It most likely just meant nothing. But, the look on your face when he said no makes him think otherwise. Did it mean you cared? That you wanted to spend time with him? You wanted to see him and be with him as desperately as he needed you perhaps? Just the phrasing itself makes his brain feel like putty. It’s like you’re waiting up for him. It’s like you share the house in a way that’s much more than just him renting a room from you. It’s like you’re his and he’s yours. It’s like saying our house… our home. The question was so intimate and implied so much more about how you saw him and what he was to you. He knew seeing him as how he saw you was next to impossible, but you saw him as more than the Sheriff and more than just the jerk living in your house.
Part Four
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