#probably not related to typing this but it would be funny
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constantvariations · 11 months ago
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A trend in Astarion fics that I find bizarre is the idea that he's never been treated gently during sex. This is difficult to believe for one simple reason: some of Astarion's victims were virgins.
Astarion: You were handsome. Shy. You'd never been kissed. Sebastian: You taught me how. And then you destroyed me.
I get the desire to make his current partner special by having their sex be good and wholesome in comparison to his other trysts, but this is a flawed sentiment. The cutscene of that first night together is incredibly tender from the kiss to laying on the grass - the only outlier being if you offer your neck - and if you sleep with Astarion but keep it at that night, Astarion himself says he will never forget you. Not because the PC was uniquely gentle with him in bed, but because they were the first person he ever slept with of his own free will. It's his choice that makes that night special to him moreso than anything the PC may or may not have done during that time.
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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 year ago
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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ssruis · 8 months ago
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Aside from the noble platypus I also feel like rui would really enjoy these animals:
Mola mola/Sunfish
Anteater
Echidna
Kiwi
Kākāpō
Axolotl
Horseshoe crab
Gibbon
#i have reasoning for all of these beyond ‘they look funny’ trust#mola mola are just. so fucking weird man. they’re so odd. their back fin grows back on itself? they’re so rigid it reduces drag#but they ‘swim’ really slowly? they swim similar to how a bird flies. just sideways. largest bony fish. they bask to get enough warmth#to allow them to dive super deep to forage for food (cold blooded so they’d be fucked without doing that)#anteaters are interesting. did you know they’ve (the giant ones) killed jaguars and humans before#because they walk on the knuckles to keep the huge knives on their feet sharp and their threat response#is basically just ‘swipe blindly (poor vision) at whatever comes close until it stops coming back’#echidnas are fellow monotremes (only ones besides the platypus) and are just as strange#they also have electrosensors (~2000 compared to the platypus’s 40000) and a similarly low body temp#(second lowest of all mammals after. u guessed it. the platypus) and are actually decent swimmers despite looking Like That#kiwis are weird beasts.#massive eggs compared to their body size. rely more on scent than sight because their eyes are so tiny and under developed.#kākāpō are the heaviest parrot and also the only flightless parrot. they also kinda resemble owls face wise? and they’re green.#evolved with no natural predators and are currently being fucked over by invasive rats#axolotl is self explanatory#although to give a fun fact the wild type is naturally brown. the fun colored ones would be easy prey in the wild.#& they’re capable of going through metamorphosis (like how tadpoles -> frogs) if exposed to the necessary hormones#but they don��t produce it on their own#horseshoe crabs despite having crab in the name are more closely related to spiders/ticks/scorpions than crabs#& gibbons are included because 1 I’m biased towards my favorite animal 2 only species of lesser ape. live in family units.#tbf I think he’d like all apes and probably prefer orangutans/chimps but I’m saving you the extensive lecture on great apes#here at ssruis we strive to be educational.#biology cool. despite me dropping out of the program (treated as premed at my college and I could NOT do chem let alone orgchem/physics) but#i liked biolab/the units abt animals ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#rui
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galacticlamps · 8 months ago
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I just wanted to apologize to my classic whotuals for all the dead boy detectives spamming, but it's also important to me that you guys know two things:
a) I've become aware that a lot of what appeals to me about dead boy detectives is, on a kind of conceptual/thematic level, the same stuff that I love about my favorite eras of dr who, and 6b in particular
And I tell you this not as an advertising tactic but as a genuine PSA for anyone following me because:
b) Being me & having realized this, I know I'm definitely gonna wind up posting some unnecessarily long-winded analysis/comparison, pop it in the main tags for the sake of organization on my own blog, and subsequently confuse a hell of a lot of people there who either have no idea what I'm talking about or simply don't view either piece of media in the same light as I do to begin with
So I just wanted to reassure everyone that at least you're not suffering alone, as I will soon be inflicting the reverse bait-and-switch upon others!
That's all! continue w ur scrolling <3
#i hope this is clear but im REALLY not trying to be like coy or intriguing here#this post is not remotely intended to convince anyone to watch dead boy detectives on the grounds that it's similar to 60s who#in ways which i've conveniently failed to elaborate upon & so you'll just HAVE to go see for yourself#(firstly bc when i want to sing something's praises i will upfront & unapologetically)#(& secondly bc im not super into telling people to watch things in general unless they're actively seeking a rec)#honestly this (now very overhyped) future post of mine is going to be more about like#me recognizing i have A Type when it comes to stories/underpinning narrative backdrops in fiction (if thats not too pretentious)#and much less of a 'well if you like x then you'll definitely love y bc i do & we all enjoy things in the same way & for the same reasons'#and i find it funny that nobody will care - bc it'll incomprehensible to all but about 5 people who have the full context#& half of those 5 will probably still disagree w my perspective/interpretation of one or both -#but im gonna do it anyway bc what else am i supposed to do w these thoughts! keep them to myself??? dont be absurd#that said though if you are debating watching dbd and would like to chat about it to push yourself in one direction or another#im happy to do so! especially if you have questions about it in relation to some other shared interest you actually did follow me for lol#im always game for that sort of thing & yes i am of the opinion that its a good & fun & rich show all on its own
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dracolizardlars · 28 days ago
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Sorry this is completely random but Fates could've gone a long way towards fixing the fuckedupedness of Corrin x Hoshidan Royals S-Supports by making the very simple, tiny change of having the revelation (ha) that they don't actually have the same father moved to their respective A-Supports... Like I would have still not really agreed with the concept but honestly that would make so much difference lmao... Like ok you find out you're not biological siblings and then you potentially HAVE A SIGNIFICANT AMOUNT TIME between unlocking the next support for your relationship to change with this person and to start seeing them in a different way... It's not a lot better, but obviously devs were determined not to break the rule of the player character being able to marry ANYONE (so long as you're being heterosexual of course, incest is fine but god FORBID you be gay with anyone except our few pre selected Queer Characters™)
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falindankovsky · 2 months ago
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I think Daniil would be someone who gets annoyed by people bringing up Christmas in the middle of October and November
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sysig · 10 months ago
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But would you tho (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#Schuldig#ZEX#And again the Captain implied from offscreen lol#Two little things ♪ One that Actually happened and one speculation lol#I really like Schuldig :D He's the likeable asshole type and his quirk is very well written :)#I love how he gets on Zelnick's case about his wishy-washy-ness in regards to xenophilia generally and ZEX specifically hehe#Zelnick has no good answer for him! It's so cute hehe <3#But then he turns right around and is wishy-washy himself!! I get the feeling his frustration stems a bit from relating hahaha#Or maybe Zelnick's uncertainty influenced him! It's not such an easy decision to make when you're staring down the barrel is it now :)#Openly attracted to Max's body and flattered by ZEX's personality and outright attraction to him in turn but the alien aspect is too much pf#Sure right okay lol - I have no skin in this game so I'll have to take his word for it haha#Secondarily speculating around ZEX's attraction and standards lol it sounds like an oxymoron but no he is actually a bit picky!#Yes he loves humans generally but he is actually tempered by what mind inhabits what body! It's so interesting to me!#I think it's especially funny how his various desires are in conflict with each other haha#Like it makes sense that he controls himself around Fwiffo - poor thing would have a heart attack - but he genuinely seems less attracted!#Which makes sense to me as well ♪ Spathi and VUX share several traits and were on the same side during the War so he's familiar with them#And he's specifically attracted to differences and novelty - it all lines up!#And then there's also his pride lol he tries to make more friends than enemies of course but he still gets petty and patronizing <3#If he's actually upset with someone /he's/ the one who would need convincing! It's all very interesting :3c#And then there's the matter of his own body vs. Max's body - he's so upset at the metaphysical implications of cloning his consciousness#I've never thought of ZEX in the context of the ''Would you fuck your clone'' questionnaire but I guess I know his answer now haha#Though I still wonder what his reaction would be to Max :0 He's probably not close enough to be ZEX but he is /a/ ZEX - of a sort#All his introspection about the body he's in has my mental ears perked haha - pity and worry for the potential life he's replacing#Discomfort at possibly being Max in some capacity including continuing to be in his body but also of overtaking his life entirely#And of being backed into a corner - Max is pitiful as well as pitiable! Neither of them want to be Max Vyer really#He loves humans but how far does that extend when push comes to shove ♪ It's been interesting watching him fumble through it :)
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waywardsalt · 5 months ago
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deciding (and realizing based on the way i write and think abt it) that no matter what bellum is not making it out of swabbie rank. he’s put at the lowest rank of whatever hierarchy linebeck decides to adhere to no matter what, no matter the au. bellum can be practically a stowaway or romantically involved with the captain but he is swabbie while link made it to first mate in a handful of months and while being like twelve. bellum gets the mop. to humble him.
#only fair that the minor demonic god is swabbie. cant give him too much. tags are a mess on this one btw#anyways secret criteria for being first mate is autism. you gotta be autistic to have actual authority on that ship#…..link would have some flavor of authority in post ph then. i need to thinm on that#salty talks#fuck uhhhh#post-ph#bellum#forgot what i was talkjg abt with this tbh. like what the context was#i know i was thinking abt how linebeck always refers to human bellum as a swabbie or some other low rank in the shipfic#GOD im sl fucking bad a mobilee typing normally i fix typos n shit and im sojng some ln the fly but twice now ive typo’d and instead#writtien ‘fuck’ instead if some other word. also im tired ig but god i hate typing on mobile so fuckint much#<- longest ive gone without bothering much to fix typos. hate it here (on my phone) anyways. i cant remembee the wider context to this#idk what rank damien would technically be. he helps with repairs and technically everyone does swabbie stuff#tbh with how linebecks ship is being swabbie probably isnt too bad aith how ive figured hes extremely loose with it n does everything#i thinm i wanted to say smth ph related and came up with this#the mobile typos frustrate me so bad rn its exacerbated by. something. but i kinda fucking hate it its not really funny or anything#also the mess of accidentally hitting the nimbers button and switching the keyboard. god. lol#anyways. squid on swabbie duty for forever sucks to suck man shouldnt have killed all those people. whatever
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luludeluluramblings · 14 days ago
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The Tape
Reader and Conner’s sex tape gets leaked…
Based on this…
Warning: Fem!Reader, NSFW themes, no actual smut, pure crack nonsense, fake Twitter post
A/N: @fanfictionlover277353 Heard you wanted some more! Here’s some of my nonsense!
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
"Come on, Babs. Please. I'm begging. Just for a few hours. Two tops." Dick's whining could be heard through out the entire cave. The vibrato of his voice echoing off the rocky walls and stalagmites as he leaned over Barbara's shoulder and played with her hair.
She was currently sitting at the Bat Computer, looking over anything related to the family or incidents in Gotham with strained eyes and an exasperated look on her face.
"I told you, I'm busy-"
"You need a break." Dick interrupted, playing the hypocrite with a grin. "Come on, two hours. We'll watch a movie, you can even pick. No sappy Rom-coms, anything you want. All your choice." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Admittedly, Barbara was tempted, but she let out an indulgent sigh.
"Fine. I'll set up notifications to alert me if anything that needs to get scrub gets posted." She quickly type out a few things on to the computer, having it connected to her phone before Dick whisked her off with way too much excitement.
It was a simple notification system. One that would alert her if anyone's vigilantes identities were mentioned in the media. Unfortunately, it wasn't set up to alert her if anyone's civilian identities were mentioned. That included the family's only civilian member as well.
And, a lot can happen in two hours with the power of the internet and a very interesting topic.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
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☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
You were having a good day. A very nice day. You had gone out into the world, enjoying the sights and sounds of a mid-morning Gotham. Ignoring the wailing sirens in the distance, by now you had grown used to it.
Dick, Babs, and Alfred where in the manor doing either Bat stuff or sleeping. Damian was visiting Jon. Duke was on patrol. Cass was at dance practice. Bruce was at the Watchtower. Tim was at the Wayne office. Stephanie was your chaperone (stalker) of the day. And, Jason was fuck who knows where.
A peaceful, calm day.
Until you got a Twitter notification and you realized...
"Oh, that's not good. That is really not good." You mutter, watching as the internet burns while you drink your coffee. Not like you could do much else. You still sent a quick text to Conner, just to prepare him while you mentally packed.
You warned him when he suggested filming the two of you making love in the Wayne manor parlor right in front of the fireplace.
You had suggested you’d both go to the mountains and fuck in the wild, but he just had to be kinky and want to do it in the manor. Better lighting he said.
If it wasn’t for the fact that it had been your anniversary and he had pulled out all the stops, you would’ve said no. (It doesn’t matter that he had you literally crying from the pleasure when the two of you had finally finished filming. Nope. Not at all.)
However, that mountain sex might still be on the table. You didn't want to be around when the rest of the family saw that video, so a remote location in the mountains sounded like a decent idea. You’d been wanting to runaway from the manor for a while anyway.
“Hey, Steph, hand me your phone real quick…” Best to probably by yourself some time.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Conner had a tendency to mute his notification on all his socials. Not that he didn't look at what people tagged him in or mentioned him in. He just find it easier to manage.
So when he got a text from you saying to check Twitter, he was a bit puzzled. But, he figured you had seen him tagged in something funny and wanted him to see it too.
Only for the record in his head to scratch when he realized what he had been tagged in.
"SHIT! Shit, shit, shit, shit." Could he get off planet fast enough? This was bad. Not the video. That was good. He may have thrown extra fuel on the fire by liking it and retweeting it on to his official account, but, damn it, was he proud of that. Probably shouldn’t have hired that rando to edit it for him though.
But, yeah, he was about to possibly be the only man ever murdered in cold blood by Batman. It was one thing to fuck his civilian daughter, but filming it in the man’s own home? Yeah, the kryptonite was definitely coming out and getting stabbed into his skull.
"JON! Distract Damian!" Conner yelled out before taking off, knowing that Jon's super hearing would pick up it up. Best get to Gotham and grab you before Batman came after his ass.
There was a nice planet a few solar systems over that you two could have some fun on. Maybe if he was lucky, you could visit that spot in front of the fireplace on last time. He doubted the two of you would get another chance to do it there again.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Jason had actually been at Roy’s that day, having finished some Outlaw business from the night before. Only to be interrupted when Roy suddenly choked on his drink and sprayed it all over him from across the table. Soaking Jason and the papers on said table.
“What the fuck?” He muttered in disgust whipping the dripping liquid off him.
Roy, however, was still choking. Wheezing as he clutched his phone like it was the most precious thing in existence.
“Nothing! Nothing!” Instantly, Roy was trying to back the video up the Cloud and his back up phone. He’s paid for porn with less quality than this and he was not wasting this opportunity before it was scrubbed from the internet.
“Let me see that.” Jason pushed the table and slammed it into Roy’s gut, causing the phone to clatter on to it. A video silently playing on the screen.
A video of two people in a fancy parlor. Doing very intimate things.
Two people Jason knew. In a fancy parlor that Jason knew.
A parlor that Jason had literally sat in three days ago watching the fire in the exact same fireplace.
“Did you fucking save this, asshole?”
“Dude, that is ART!”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Back in the BatCave Alfred had come down to tidy up after resting a bit only to look at the screen in horror. Despite his many skills, socially media escaped him at times.
However he did manage to learn one thing…
“That was what was on my bloody carpet?!”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Tim had been in his office, going over a couple charts when his secretary burst into the room. Stumbling and falling on the floor panting. One of her heels broken.
Normally she was a serious and composed woman, not tolerating any nonsense from him. So this behavior was unexpected and worrisome.
Tim rushed to stand up at help her when she suddenly blurted out, “Leaked sex tape!”
That made him panic. Before confusion hit him.
“Wait, did I film on of those? I don’t remember filming one of those-“
“Your sister! Superboy! PR is going fucking nuts and getting calls. Share prices are fucking increasing because of this!”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
The Justice League Watchtower was in a meeting. Quite a long one judging by the way most of it’s members sitting around the table seemed to be drifting off or subtly scrolling their phones.
Oliver Queen, Green Arrow was one of those people scrolling. Checking over twitter, catching up on the latest gossip. Only to nearly fucking scream in the middle of the meeting when he realized what Superboy had shared on his official account.
Forget man of steel, the kid has damn balls of steel.
Worst yet, the video had been posted for over an hour. A full hour. Almost two. There was no way that was going to be getting scrubbed and forgotten. He’d bet it was in a military archive already with a team of scientist documenting the half-Kryptonian’s dick size right now.
It was an impressively long video. One that Oliver was sorely tempted to watch. But, he didn’t because he knew Batman would actually rearrange his face if he did. Like fist and plastic surgery rearrange it.
So, when he heard Batman’s voice ring out in the meeting, he broke his phone in half to hide the evidence of his discovery.
Only, Batman hadn’t been calling for his attention. He was calling for Booster Gold’s.
“Booster, focus on the meeting. Put that away—“
It was amusing to see Booster get caught with his phone out watching him scramble to shut it off in a panic. Only for it to fall to the ground.
And, the sound to turn on at full volume.
Moans to fill the silent void of the room.
Oliver could only look on in horror when he realized just what Booster had been watching, during a Justice League meeting, and across the table from Batman himself.
“Conner, please, p-please, stop teasing.”
“No, I don’t think I will. You look so pretty like this. All nice and—“
No one moved. Not as they watched Batman literally work through every emotion under that cowl of his and Superman’s face went as white as it possibly could, anguish washing over both their faces when they realized who was in the video booster was watching.
Diana was the only one that stood up and moved to pick up the phone. Everyone held their breaths when she slowly looked down at the screen.
“Quite impressive. You both must be proud.” She said with a slight hum.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: I apologize so much for this, but I just was cackling the entire time I came up with this and wrote it. Forgive me y’all! 🙏🏻
A/N: All the Twitter stuff was randomly generated and picked! I’m not good with it, but I added it for giggles!
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pomefioredove · 5 months ago
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could you write the overblot boys (+ lillia & adeuce) with a reader who is really naïve? like they aren’t dumb by any means (the opposite, actually, they are smart and get amazing grades) but they have a lot of trust in people and sometimes takes things too seriously/at face value (like they don’t understand sarcasm at all, respond to rhetorical questions, etc)
how do you guys keep coming up with the most specific relatable ideas 😭😭 finally, oblivious representation!!!
summary: naive/oblivious reader type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, ace, deuce, leona, azul, jamil, vil, idia, malleus, lilia additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu
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for someone who's entire life is structured around decorum, Riddle is unexpectedly lenient with you
he's always had a certain weakness for cute things...
AHEM
he's seen your grades, and he knows you aren't incompetent or dim, you just...
...lack social finesse
fortunately, he says he's an expert at socializing!
...unfortunately, that's not true at all
if you're not careful, he'll have you talking like a sickly Victorian orphan by month two
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
but at least he's not Ace, who finds your naivete VERY entertaining
you and Deuce are a two-man circus to him
tricking you is so easy, it's almost not even fun
almost
he has, on three separate occasions, told you and Deuce that "gullible" is written on the ceiling, and all times, you both looked up
but it's all in good fun, of course
Sevens help anyone else who teases you about it, though. then it isn't so funny anymore
Ace and Deuce are just a little overprotective
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona hasn't said a word about it
not that he hasn't noticed
...not that he's trying not to embarrass you, either
he's just trying to see how long it'll take before you can tell when he's being sarcastic
it's just... entertaining
for someone as smart as you to hang onto his every word...
it's... a bit of a power trip for him
not that he's taking advantage of you for anything other than amusement, of course
besides, you'll need someone around to tell off the idiots who do try to pull the rug out from under you
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
speaking of which...
if not for your friends' intervention, Azul would probably own your soul by now
he's not half as convincing as he thinks he is, but even then, you respond to everything he says in earnest
you actually believe the whole "nice guy" act
and, honestly...
well...
he likes the way you like him
you actually see him as a nice, smart, interesting person. you spend time with him without expecting anything in return
so, he gives up on trying to squeeze a deal out of you
...for now, at least, you're under his protection
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
someone get this poor man a day off
Jamil is tempted to put you and Kalim in a play pen together so he can take a nap
he just... doesn't understand you
he's seen your name in the hall after exams, he's heard the way the professors praise you, and yet you are almost painfully easy to manipulate
he could mold you like clay if he really wanted to
...unfortunately, he cares too much to do that
so, for now, he'll keep trying to trick you into tutoring Kalim so he can have the night off
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil is your number one protector
you're smart, you're competent, but you're way too easy to deceive
and knowing the boys at this school...
...of course, Vil has to keep you by his side at all times. he wouldn't trust half the students here with his laundry
he can't sit by and let you get taken advantage of
...not that he never teases you
he does, of course
your earnest responses are just so sweet to him, and you seem to genuinely enjoy complimenting him...
anyway
while Rook teaches you how to pick up on hints and cues, and Epel throws hands with anyone who even looks at you weird, Vil is busy pampering you half to death
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Idia's initial reaction is something along the lines of "well, at least I'm not that guy,"
(sorry)
but, really; he thinks he has it bad, and then you can't even read a room?
you're like total opposites; an overthinker and an underthinker
you're all... sweet and genuine and cutesy
and he's a lame weird loser...
he assumes that everyone else thinks the same; but then he starts hearing the things other people say about you...
...and the way you get treated when you don't understand a joke or pick up on a cue
maybe you're not so different, after all...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
unfortunately, it looks like you and Malleus are on the same page
one oblivious to social cues, the other awkward from years of isolation
communicating with anyone else is a minefield
but, of course, you have each other
the way you talk to each other is kind of adorable?
Malleus can be quite blunt when he doesn't mean to, though, for you, that's a blessing
but he's also aware that you're a little oblivious, compared to other humans, and he's quite accommodating
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Lilia is a little shit
he may act all innocent about it, but he knows very well what he's doing
your naivete was the first thing he noticed about you
he absolutely uses it to his advantage
you're just so easy to prank, how can he resist?
he also enjoys flirting with you
it goes right over your head every time, and it's just the cutest thing he's ever seen
he's trying to see how far he can push it before you realize he's being serious
times he's said "I want you" to your face: 2 and counting!
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pigfacedbitch · 1 year ago
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Phobia
idea : your phobia relates to your boyfriend's gifted godly abilities.
word count : 0.8k
type : headcanons
pairing/s involved : Jason Grace / Percy Jackson / Leo Valdez / Frank Zhang / Nico Di Angelo x Reader
warning/s : phobia speaks for itself. personally, it's thalassophobia for me. 😓
here is my masterlist!
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Jason Grace | Acrophobia (Fear of Heights)
Due to having the same fear as his sister, Jason is completely aware of the dos and dont's when you're an acrophobic.
If you two are forced in situations where you need to be in high places, he always attempts to distract you with anything he can think of.
He prefers embarrassing stories over jokes. His delivery is too deadass and his 'i'm-trying-hard-here-it's-not-funny' look makes you laugh before the punchline.
Knowing that it can be associated with the fear of falling, Jason will reassure you every time that he's going to catch you.
If you did fall, during some battle for example, he will asks you to close your eyes and hold you tighter before slowly bringing you down.
He really lives up to that Superman nickname so much, the others started calling you Lois Lane.
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Percy Jackson | Thalassophobia (Fear of Deep Bodies of Water)
Percy would be bummed out. Being the son of Poseidon, he loves to be in the water.
Everything about him— from his favorite hobbies to his happiest of memories, revolves around it and he wants to share that with you.
He plans on taking you on trips underwater; introduce you to the majestic marine creatures nobody else has seen before, unravel mysteries the sea has to offer, and form a big bubble where you can do whatever you want without being interrupted (ehem👀).
But how can he make all of it possible when your fear is literally all of those?
Percy would want to help you get over it. He wouldn't force you but he will at least try convince you.
If you refuse, he will respect that.
But if you accept his help, he'll try to take it one step at a time. Probably by starting to show you how the sea, no matter terrifying it is, is also beautiful place.
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Leo Valdez | Pyrophobia (Fear of Fire)
Initially, Leo will laugh. I mean, who wouldn't?
You're a pyrophobic yet you're dating someone who is actually made out of fire?
After he notices that you're not joking, he will begin to be terrified for you. Expect that Leo will be extra careful when you are with him, especially when he is working on something.
His contraptions deemed too dangerous like explosives, will be kept somewhere far away.
As much as he thinks your presence will make Bunker 9 a lovelier workspace, he will understand if you don't want to go there. The essense of it is from the god of fire himself— I mean you need a blast of fire to enter.
He also will refrain himself from using his fire abilities in a fight, making do with his inventions instead.
While pyrophobia doesn't have specific causes, it may be possible that you had some traumatic experience relating to fire. Leo doesn't want to hurt you or make you feel worse.
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Frank Zhang | Zoophobia (Fear of Animals)
Frank is confused. He doesn't know that the fear of animals is a thing and would wonder why you agreed on dating him in the first place.
He will ask you tons of questions; what caused your phobia? Are you afraid of all animals, a few, or just one? What can I do? After your conversation, he's going to search more information.
If you're afraid of one animal only, Frank will forget it ever existed. He will never talk of that animal again even when you're not around.
The others will joke about it. Example, if you're scared of snakes—
"What is a snake, Frank?"
"What's that, Leo? I have no idea, so let's never speak of it again."
In the case that you're afraid of all animals (this is a rare condition), he will not use his abilities and will train harder in combat.
When he really doesn't have a choice but to shapeshift in a fight, you two will separate with your friends' assurance that they got your back.
Frank is a nice guy but if someone made an offensive comment about your phobia or hardcore pranks involving that animal? Expect the wrath and rage of Mars.
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Nico Di Angelo | Phasmophobia (Fear of Ghosts)
I'm sorry but Nico will slightly judge you. Really, a ghost? What are you, five?
Like Frank, he will ask you what caused your phobia.
He will feel terrible and comfort you if you have the same experience as Reina and Jason, who's loved ones turned into a mania. If it's because of horror movies, he will awkwardly pet your head.
You may think the subject is dropped but Nico will make sure that no ghost will ever come near you.
Having the infamous title 'Ghost King', he will not hesitate to torment and threaten the spirits who try to approach, scare, or talk to you.
He will take you on dates to McDonalds but he will not bring you to any 'ghost business'.
If you want to get rid of your phobia, Nico will summon ghosts who can entertain you; like singers, dancers, those that can do tricks, and stand up comedians.
He will also show you how easily he can bend any ghost to his will, proving to you that there's nothing to be afraid of.
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pinkmoonastro · 7 months ago
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“IT GIRL” natal alignments
an attractive young woman who is perceived to have both sex appeal and a personality that is especially engaging.
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Moon/Venus The emotional world is expressed in a pleasing way. You understand what a person needs without them having to communicate it with you. Very expressive with love nature your ok with expressing it to the world.
Mercury/Venus *Major Indicator* This is the most common aspect with popular attractive women. People relate to you through the way you communicate. They love to hear you talk even if it’s about basic things. Watching your social media just to see what your up too. This placement gives you a sexy rememberable voice.
Sun 10th Your personality is easier to read your view points may be more agreeable to the mass so it’s easier to create relationships. You enjoy being likable and agreeable. You know how to present yourself in a way that will get the best desired results. It may also be very easy for you to get jobs people may feel like they know you even if they don’t.
Sun/Asc loves being the center of attention and people enjoy giving you the attention. This aspect makes a person come across as very interesting with a busy life. People enjoy being around you because of your childlike bubblyness that just expresses whatever you want when you want. Others feel more confident being around you because of the confidence you exude.
Sun/pluto polarizing, magnetic and alluring is how I would describe this. Others have a curiosity about you. You may keep a lot of your thoughts and personal life to yourself and people pay attention to your life closing because they want to learn things about you. Everyone listens when you speak because you probably stay to yourself and don’t contribute in group conversations as much as others. The real appeal here comes from people not being able to have access to you.
Sun/neptune giving hope to the hopeless. You see the bright side to anything and make for a great person to share with. You listen and give the best advice you can. Your mind is very creative and others love when you share your visions with them. You can provide many creative solutions to problems.
Asc in libra you enjoy a simple life living the lap of luxury you prefer to keep a light hearted nature. You’re like a spa in human form.
Asc in Sagittarius you make the plans for your friend group because you know how to create the fun. Others love your spontaneity and ability to make friends with anyone. You have the gift of gab and it’s very charming.
Asc in Aquarius you’re really funny in a random who thinks of that kind of way. You don’t mind bluntly telling the truth and you shock others by doing that. People view you as someone that doesn’t mind sharing the information you know. You’re willing to try anything once and it’s inspiring.
Asc in Pisces you can adapt to any environment. You know how to connect with many types of people so you attract a lot of opportunities to you. The way you express your emotions has an addictive quality about it. Attracting people with your rawness in emotion or expressing emotions in a creative way. You know what to say to soften anger in others.
Moon in cancer your caring nature is easily felt. People feel at home around you. You know how to make others feel welcomed. You don’t put much pressure on others on how to behave and that allows them to drop their guard with you and just be.
Moon in Virgo reliability is a virtue you have. Reliability builds the foundation to long lasting relationships because trust is so important. You hold support to a high regard and that allows you to build sturdy relationships and that’s make people want to offer you the same support in return.
Moon in Capricorn being blunt and bout your business is what wins people over. Its refreshing to hear someone speak their mind so freely. You accomplish goals you never speak on and people are amazed when they see what you've been creating behind closed doors. This placement also gives clean girl aesthetic. Also you probably love black clothing.
Moon in Pisces Dreamy ofc, with a quirky sense of humor. You don't mind laughing at yourself so its easy for people to let their guard down around you. You look approachable and usually are. There is so many ideas in your head and people love to hear them. Your very self motivated and it rubs off on the people around you. Because you don't have ulterior motives and its easy to see in you, its very easy for you to make friends quickly.
Venus in 9th Redefining what love looks like, you may be unconventional in expressing the way you love but it cant be denied that you do love. People admire the way you can blend in with many different groups. When you travel people can wonder how you got to have certain experiences in a country you just got to.
Venus 10th You meet traditional beauty standards. Being conventionally attractive brings in attention from a mass amount of people. People love the way you dress and copy your outfits. This is the girl that is saved in a lot of Pinterest boards.
Venus in 11th Popularity comes to you easily. People see you and want to be your friend. Venus hear gives you the gift of gab. Your voice is disincentive and draws people in. You come across friendly and bubbly full of energy and fun.
Venus in 12th Mystery is how you captivate. People unconsciously try to get your love and attention. Your personal life is private and people feel like you live a interesting secret life, rather that's true or not its assumed and they want to get close to you because they see not a lot of people can. They want to know what happens in your world.
How many did you have?
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bunni-v1 · 1 month ago
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You're so right about harumasa!!!! ): I know we need to see him more in-game first to have more to work with for content creation but ugh. Keeping myself (barely) sane thinking about lazy bf harumasa who never ever wakes up for his alarm and you gotta pry him off you to make him get up for work on time. Making that chronically ill king nutrient dense lunches, and nodding along with an understanding "I know, baby" when he comes to you whining about feeling sick. I don't care if he's lying or not I wanna baby him and be scolded by yanagi for indulging him!!
Slightly nsfw thought too but the idea of him being bored at work and texting u silly things, or being like "they're making me work overtime 🥺 can I see ur boobs" is so funny to me
Harumasamasa is just a baby, okay, that’s all he is. He needs alllllll the love and care in the world or else he’s gonna die! You don’t want him to die, do you?
No but seriously, me and my bestie have been talking about him A LOT (in relation to my OC lol), and we’ve made a few conclusions on him.
1) He is so NEEDY. He needs sooooo much attention, all the time. Always. He’s genuinely insufferable about it. He fully expects you to put down the things you’re working on just to pay attention, and if you don’t he’ll get super pouty and whiny. If you’re working, his head is in your lap or on your shoulder until you finally turn to him and give him all the affection he’s been begging for.
Not to mention that he really loves being cared for. He’s intentionally more lazy and useless around you because he loves being pampered like a princess. His favorite meals are meals made by you — and if you can’t cook it’s whatever you buy him. When you pull him out of bed in the morning, he’ll act like he can’t do anything right so you’ll come over and button up his shirt and fix his hair because he just loves when you pretty him up~
2) He’s a little shit. Obnoxious bastard does things just to get you all grumpy and grumbly because he thinks it’s just so cute when you’re mad at him. He’ll poke at your sides and tickle you because it’s funny when you squirm. And he’s such a tease, always making fun of you for how much you pamper him. (If you ever threaten to stop doing things he’ll grovel at your feet for forgiveness because “I was just joking baby, don’t be mean!”)
3) He’s obsessed with his partner. Thinks about you all the time, like a giggly little schoolboy. When you’re not there with him he’s texting you, and when you are there he’s probably hanging off you like a monkey. Brings you up as much as he can, which annoys the fuck out of poor Yanagi. (She’s happy he has someone who loves him, but he can be in love and also do his work… Also you need to stop spoiling him.)
Now obviously, as we get more info on him these ideas will change, but that’s the baseline we’ve decided on our cutie Haru~
As for the last bit you included… he is absolutely the type to beg you for nudes. Any time of the day too. If you don’t send them he’ll pout, but he’s not gonna be too upset. He’s at work after all. If Sokaku or Miyabi saw your nudes Yanagi would probably kill him. But if you do send him your nudes? God. God.
Runs to the restroom, genuinely the fastest Yanagi has ever seen him move. You won’t hear from him for a little while, and then he’ll send you a pic of his ruined underwear with a little “Thank you for the treat! Feeling way more energized now 😋”
Like god he’s such a dummy I love him.
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lightfeltmemories · 6 months ago
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toge inumaki; general boyfriend headcanons
note: my first work related to jjk, and i can't lie, i like the funny cursed speech user he's a cutie, so, here are some sfw mainly fluff headcanons if he was your boyfriend, if he's ooc i apologize, don't chew my asshole a new one i'm new here. (some of my headcanons are also inspired from some i saw on tik tok), requests are open for any jjk character (yes, even mahito) if you want to see more content like this.
tags & warnings: mentions of period products.
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to start, since he can't exactly speak, it's going to be difficult to speak with you, so, if you manage to snag his phone number things will be a whole lot easier for the both of you, and thus, gives him the confidence to ask you out (please say yes.)
someone like panda or maki will probably let you know beforehand like a "yeah he likes you" or something.
but once you say yes, you'll have pretty much contemplated on whether or not you've found your soulmate.
he likes getting active with you, playing sports and such, even if you're not the best at it, he still sees it as a form of bonding and quality time, may or may not get a bit too competitive sometimes and you will cry if he wins too many times.
you are not exempt from his trolling, if anything, you're more susceptible, he won't do anything too over the top though, just some lighthearted fun the both of you can enjoy.
is definitely the type to send a meme to keep the convo going, and a reaction image when you say something that calls for the right opportunity to send it.
loves cuddling and watching movies or youtube videos with you, mainly the latter,
(over text) calls you babe or baby, or even a weird nicknamed variation of your name, doesn't mind if you call him bro since he'll do the same to you.
not the jealous type, unless someone says something to or about you that makes you uncomfortable (uses his cursed speech to tell them to shit their pants), isn't very controlling either, doesn't care about what you wear out.
but this doesn't mean he won't let people know you're his, such as walking beside you or hand in hand.
posts you on his instagram, he's insanely cheeky and cringe about it too, a picture of the two of you together at a carnival and the caption is "my world" or something of that nature, straight middle school cornball shit.
he also has loads of pictures of you... doing whatever, he may or may not have snuck a picture of you sleeping once or twice, he couldn't help it, you were cute.
if you were to ever ask him the question "would you still love me if i was a worm" his answer would be a sarcastic "no."
doesn't let you steal his food.
is the type to ask "what size is your pussy" when he's going to get tampons/pads for you, probably much to your annoyance, he also doesn't have much shame in doing it, either.
he's very protective of you, and wants to keep you safe.
mixed on pda, he's affectionate but not shameless about it, he'll give you a kiss on the cheek, a peck on the lips, or a hug.
when looking through his phone he doesn't have much going on, and definitely doesn't text anyone else romantically, he doesn't even like selfies of other girls, that man is loyal hands down, and expects the same for you.
he cooks for you sometimes, but can also teach you how to if you don't know how.
doesn't care much for gender roles.
doesn't mind being big spoon or little spoon, as long as he gets to sleep next to you.
loves seeing you in his clothes, with your scent tied to it and all.
likes going to parks and fun events with you.
he definitely wants to marry you one day, not too sure on kids, though.
he loves you more than anything and you know that. :)
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sordidmusings · 3 months ago
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mihawk strikes me as the type to hide any hickies that he got but admire them in private, shanks would shamelessly show them off in public, while robin is more casual and doesn't get embarrassed if someone points it out and says point blank that she made out with you and it was very nice (sanji is crying).
YOURE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Also that ending is sENDING ME DJFJFJFJFFK if you’re afab then Sanji would definitely be stuck struggling if those were tears of joy for knowing it happened or tears of pain that he’ll never be a part of it. Probably more of the latter. If you’re amab then those are 100% grade A, bonafide Tears of Despair 💀
Mihawk, Shanks, and Robin Hickey Headcanons
Thinking about the Mihawk, you’d have to be Smart about where you put those hickies (thighs thighs thighs-) since he’s always Tits Out and Collar POPPED. I think if he showed up with a fully buttoned shirt or turtleneck it would be more suspicious than him saying the bruises were from training 💀 (I mean maybe it was true - you could’ve been training him to let you fully take charge for once 🤷🏼‍♀️). The thought of him admiring them is what really grabs me in this. I like to think the betrayal that Oda hints at in Mihawk’s background is related to a past love (many good daydreams from this lol) so him healing enough from that to take the time to admire a mark of intimacy?? Feel satisfaction looking at a physical reminder that you belong to each other?? Find comfort in being your partner and enjoying being wanted and owned by you??? Happy brain 🫠🫠🫠
Shanks being the resident manwhore is Gospel dude and I fuckin LOVE him for that 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 here for the energy and the good times lol I imagine that he just showed them first cuz he didn’t care to hide them. Why would it matter?? It’s obvious he’s a man with a large appetite for debauchery both light and heavy and they’re all adults on the ship so there’s no problem. Then he found he enjoyed all the jokes, whether in his favor or at his expense, whenever his crew caught a peep of an exceptionally dark or large one or an excessive art project coloring his neck and chest. But once he got with you he enjoyed it even more. He was proud edging on smug whenever others saw the marks you’ve left on him. He got to have you and they didn’t. Better yet they also got to see just how much you enjoy him. Why would he ever hide that??
R O B I N 😩 I HAVE A NEED OKOK AND OML I WAS CACKLING AT THE “and it was very nice” HDHFHFJD SO HER AND SO FUNNY 💀💀💀 imagine that conversation being how the crew finds out you’re together. They just thought you were Close Friends. And I mean they’re not wrong, there’s just some extra activities. And maybe a new type of devotion to go along with the friend one. Whoopsies 🤷🏼‍♀️. Honestly maybe even extra points if it’s also the convo where you get together because the making out just kind of Happened and you’ve been agonizing over the “what does it mEAN???” and “how do I talk to her about this???” Then she’s just like “yeah we kissed and it was great :)”. Oh so this isn’t a big secret?? She’s not ashamed?? It was great 👀 over the howls of Sanji you manage to ask her to meet with you after breakfast for a convo (and more time enjoying some “very nice” activities)
Complete side note on Robin - since sensation but not wounds seem to transfer from her copies and extra limbs/etc. that would be insanely convenient to go buck wild while also being able to be completely discrete. Of course you don’t get the same advantage 😔 which I’m sure she’d exploit to have fun watching you react to them being pointed out by the loud mouthed captain like every time (“Luffy I tOLD you already - we weren’t leaving you out of sparring!”) or maybe a nosy navigator heheheh
And on an angstier note, having gone so so so long without love, I bet physical reminders of any kind help her feel like it’s real and that’s she’s not just going to wake up and find out it was all a dream. There’s also a promise in visible proofs of love, sometimes even ones as ~scandalous~ as hickies, that you want that love and you’re proud of that love. I think Robin would find a lot of solace in anything that helps her know you’re happy and proud to love her.
Really enjoying these and may do some little vignettes of them! Undecided if I wanna throw some others in there 🤔 maybe if any Grabs Me while I think more about it haha or if anyone is possibly interested 🤷🏼‍♀️
Thank you for sending in your thoughts dear anon❣️I’ve had so much fun with them!!!! Sending love and hugs 🤍🤍🤍
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Part of my little celebration!
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forwards-beckon-rebound · 2 months ago
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dick grayson instagram hcs
basics
we are pretending dick is not a cop in this because i said so!
he's a professional model but also does perform at a local circus as a special guest
he's not actually going to the olympics (yet) but the american team has been trying to contact him for the better part of the decade so maybe you can convince him to go
he's kind of like one of your friends who you think is chill and normal but then you go to their ig and you find out they're something of a local celebrity?
everybody in gotham already knew him as bruce wayne's son but also he went semi viral on tiktok and got a bunch of new fans (and some edits) out of it
he used to have a less serious pfp but his management convinced him to use this one instead
followers + following
obviously you're there
as well as his friends and family
he manages to get away with following the superheroes since i mean, basically everybody else does as well
also a lot of industry people that he meets, both for modeling and gymnastics/trapeze
highlights
he is an abuser of the story function
will spend any opportunity to brag about his pretty girlfriend and all of the dates and trips you guys go on
he is weirdly good at taking photos, will give you tips on how to pose to get your best angles
also he has a lot of fans so he likes to post a photo of you every once in a while to remind everyone that he's happily taken
will also repost your work related stuff to be like hey look at how cool my gf is at her job!
dude has a million highlights that he updates for the fashion weeks each year
a lot of photos of his looks, him meeting with certain designers, it's mostly his team who posts this
same thing with his shows in the sense that it's usually other people (including you) taking photos of him while he's performing
but this is a more personal venture of his so he asks everyone to send him the pics and he decides which ones to post
will also repost stories from fans who came to the show!
oooh this man posts the most jaw dropping photos of himself
he will have just woken up and post a photo that makes you think it's so unfair how perfect somebody can be
he just likes to post when he feels good about himself and i support!
haley and (i did not come up with a name for your guys' cat so you guys can have fun with that!) also have their own dedicated highlight
it is exactly as cute and wholesome as you would think it is
there are even more highlights if you keep on scrolling. he has highlights for each year's fashion weeks, as mentioned, as well as trips you guys have been on (the most recent is a trip to greece and italy!)
posts
once again he's one of those infuriating sort of famous people who are like fine as hell but they post just enough cute and relatable content that he actually seems like a real and very nice guy (fun fact, he is!)
you can tell immediately when he's been on a trip because he'll have at least 3 posts up and they're all of the same place
you guys are like the photo taking couple
if you weren't good at taking pics before you started dating, his skills definitely rub off on you
he'll do the thing where he gets you to pose for him so he can take a photo of you and then you take the same style of photo for him
it's disgusting you guys have matching photos on your feeds of each other
if it wasn't already common knowledge that you guys are dating, i can imagine the conspiracy theory videos being like guys they were in the same place? at the same time? and they took the same type of pics? i think they're dating
he loves cooking with you (while i personally think it would be really funny if he can't cook, in some of the comics they do mention that he can cook, but either way he enjoys cooking with you)
you guys are like the parent friends who host dinner at their place and there's usually a theme surrounding seasonal ingredients and everything's plated really well
you probably watch cooking shows together and are now you can't serve a dish without some microgreens or sliced radish on top or something
also yes he did plan the picnic and he's quite proud of it
he watched all of those charcuterie board hacks to make the flowers and fancy cheese arrangements
and there were chocolate dipped strawberries, champagne with glasses, and freshly baked cookies (alfred might have helped with that one)
also yes he does wear glasses!!!! only at home when he's reading or staring at a screen too long. his prescription's not that bad
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jason ver.
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