#probably because of Bobby dawn but still

[anarchypumpkincowboy]

Saint Kristen Applebees, former chosen one of Helio, who died in service to Helio her first day of freshman year fighting side by side with her party, who met her god and decided he was a douchebag, who eventually went on to aid and revive her new god Cassandra, the goddess of doubt, who lost Cassandra but is still holding on to the pieces of her left because doubt saved Kristen’s life so she’ll save Cassandra

Buddy Dawn, current cleric of Helio, who does not die from fighting with his party, who dies because of his party, because of a trap his party set, who seems to want to do right but who is so deeply held in his convictions, so deeply indoctrinated that Doubt cannot touch him

[blue-ink-pearls]

So, I know people are really desperate for Sandra Lynn to have hooked up with Pamela Dawn instead of Bobby Dawn, and I completely understand that!* Bobby Dawn is slimy and awful and we don't know much about Pamela, so maybe she's better? But it is 100% Bobby Dawn for two very clear reasons:

Sklonda literally said it was him

Bobby Dawn has always been a predator

The first thing we learn about Sandra Lynn's affair during Spring Break Sophomore Year was that she had just left Aguefort (she dropped out her senior year and got a diploma later on) and she was very young. She was asked to join an established adventuring party of people who were older than her and that had lost one of its members. She fell in love with another member of the party that was already in a relationship, they had an affair, and then when the affair was discovered, Sandra Lynn was blamed, kicked out of the party, and her name was smeared as far and wide as possible by the person who had taken advantage of her so that person could absolve themselves, likely in the eyes of their partner and the party.

So what we can immediately deduce from this is that Sandra Lynn was an outsider to her new adventuring party, likely looked down on as "just a kid", maybe disdained for being a dropout, and most definitely resented for taking the place of the (presumably) dead party member. She was in actively dangerous and stressful situations while questing with the party and she probably had little support from the group during that time.

Sandra Lynn was very very vulnerable.

When he met Sandra Lynn, Bobby Dawn would have been about 20 years younger than he is now, likely in his late 30s/early 40s.** Probably still handsome, still a "dashing" active adventurer. He was married to Pamela already (not just in an established relationship), since he had a child by then that was close to grown and I don't think the Church of Sol would be very happy about a child out of wedlock. He would have been a cleric of Sol and probably still preaching "the good word of Sol" but it likely wouldn't have been constant. You can't give sermons while fighting monsters. I'm sure he even saved Sandra Lynn's life a few times!

The thing about Bobby Dawn being a televangelist now, but not then, is that when he was young, he was probably just as good at persuasion, at finding vulnerable people and exploiting their weaknesses to get what he wanted, and yet he hadn't made a name for himself as a televangelist, so people wouldn't know to be wary of him trying to convert or manipulate them.

The scene between Bobby and Kristen, when Kristen is pretending that Cassandra died shows exactly what kind of terrible person Bobby really is. He is happy to find Kristen devastated, that she is having "a real dark night of the soul" and needs guidance. He refuses to help Kristen stay at Aguefort (something that's within his power), despite knowing how beneficial that would be to her well-being, because that goes against his own goals. He is smug and condescending and cruel. He is preying on Kristen's devastation and vulnerability (not knowing it's an act), to draw her back into the fold of the Church of Helio/Sol.

The person who did that to Kristen, is the exact same person who took advantage of Sandra Lynn when she was still basically a kid, just out of high school. He took advantage of her feelings for him, her inexperience and isolation. And then, when they were discovered, he threw her away and made her the villain so he could get away with it.

He ruined Sandra Lynn's life. Yes, she's happy now with her daughter, her partner, and the beautiful home they've made at Mordred Manor with Adaine, Kristen, Lydia, Ragh, Tracker, Zayn, Aelwyn, Boggy, and 15 cats. But Sandra Lynn ended up with self-esteem and relationship issues that she is still dealing with to this day. Those issues ruined her marriage, could have ruined her relationship with Jawbone, and likely played a hand in the difficulties between her and Fig in Freshman Year, as Sandra Lynn saw her daughter take her first steps into the world of adventuring.

Because Sandra Lynn first wanted to be an adventurer and Bobby Dawn took that away from her, just like he tried to do to Kristen.

Bobby Dawn has shaped his career as a high priest of Sol and as a televangelist by portraying himself as the epitome of righteousness. He is rotten to the core, a predator in a job where he is meant to help people, and I CANNOT WAIT to see the Bad Kids take him down.

*I don't really understand it. Pamela Dawn is likely just as bad as Bobby. She's the chief paladin of the church of Sol, her husband is a televangelist and a High Priest of Sol, and she would have been around the same age as Bobby and having an affair with a vulnerable young girl who she then kicked out of the group and slandered. It being Pamela would still be awful!

**Even with the assumption that both Bobby Dawn and his child had their kids at a young age, the math still has to take into account that Sandra Lynn's daughter is the same age as Bobby Dawn's GRANDSON.

[semperama]

hiii, for the ask game, i would love nr 7 (i dreamt about you last night) for buddie! ✨️

This is probably not what you had in mind when you sent this prompt, and I'm sorry!! It got a little angsty on me. Also long.

“I dreamt about you last night.”

----

Buck wakes up to sheets soaked with sweat, a scream halfway out of his mouth. His ears are still ringing with gunfire, sirens. His heart is pounding, his lungs pulling desperately at the air. He paws at his face, his neck, looks at his hands in the semi-dark and expects them to be stained black with blood.

But it’s just clean skin. He’s alone in his bedroom, legs tangled in the blankets, no copper taste on his tongue.

It was a dream. Just a dream.

The fourth time he’s had the same dream in as many nights.

He throws back the covers and gets out of bed, goes into the bathroom where he turns on the light and splashes water on his face, like that might wash it all the way. They always do it in the movies, the water trick. He wonders if it ever works for them. It doesn’t work for him.

Even when he’s awake, he sees it. The blank expression on Eddie’s face. The pool of blood spreading across the asphalt. The way Eddie’s hand moved. He reached for Buck like Buck could save him, and Buck tried, but it doesn’t feel like it was enough. Even though Eddie’s alive—it was because the bullet missed vital organs, and because the surgeons knew what they were doing. But if he’d been hit a couple inches to the left…Buck couldn’t have done anything. Eddie might still have reached for him, but all he would have been able to do was watch him die.

“Fuck,” he mutters, then splashes himself with another handful of cold water. He can’t—won’t—go back to bed, so he shuts off the faucet and goes downstairs, curls up on the couch and turns the TV on.

He should nod off again. He’s tired enough to. But he knows by now what will happen if he does, the worst moment of his life in technicolor, surround sound. So he stays awake, until the gray light of dawn crowds out the darkness beyond his windows.

———

The nightmares didn’t start until Buck went home. The nights he slept on the Diaz couch were quiet and dreamless, either because he was too exhausted or too numb. He went to work, did the necessary chores, helped Christopher with his homework and cooked him dinner. His body ran on autopilot and his mind stayed blissfully blank, and at night he dropped off to sleep like someone pulled his plug.

But it’s been almost a week since Eddie got home, five days since he sent Buck back to the loft. You’ll kill your back sleeping on that couch much longer. I’ll call you if you need you. Buck hasn’t gotten more than four hours of sleep in a night since.

“You look like shit,” Chim says when Buck clomps up the stairs for breakfast at the start of their next shift. And Buck knows it’s the truth. He saw himself in the mirror this morning. His eyes are bloodshot, and the circles under them have darkened into a bruised shade of purple. His hands have been shaking so much, he keeps them stuffed into his pockets or curled around something—the strap of his bag, a coffee mug.

Bobby’s busy chopping a handful of chives, but when he looks up, Buck knows immediately what he’s going to say.

“Go home, Buck,” Bobby says. “You know you’re no use to us like this.”

What the fuck am I going to do at home? Buck wants to ask—but he also knows Bobby’s right. In his current state, he’d end up jamming the Jaws into his own leg, or throw himself off the side of a building before clipping in.

Maybe neither would be so bad, though. Maybe a different kind of pain would be a relief.

Regardless, he can’t go home. He sits inside the Jeep in the parking lot for almost ten minutes, hands curled around the steering wheel, wondering if a nap here would end up the same way. Then, he starts up the engine and drives to Eddie’s.

It takes a while for Eddie to get to the door, and Buck realizes too late he’s probably sleeping. It’s early, and the painkillers always make him tired, and Buck should have just—let him sleep. Someone should be getting some sleep.

“Why didn’t you just come in?” Eddie asks when he sees it’s Buck on his doorstep. He looks—soft. His hair is sleep-rumpled. He’s not wearing a shirt, his sling strapped across his bare chest, and soft black sweatpants sit low on his hips. Buck wants to lean in and bury his face into the place where his shoulder meets his neck.

“Not sure,” Buck says honestly. His brain isn’t working right, probably. How could it, when it’s wrapped in three layers of cotton?

Eddie steps back to let him in, a furrow forming in his brow. “Wait, aren’t you supposed to be at work?” he says. “And why do you look like—is everything okay?”

Buck shuffles in just enough for Eddie to shut the door behind him. “I had a dream about you,” he says, dropping his gaze to the floor. He feels like a child, showing up in his parents’ bedroom in the middle of the night to cry about the monsters in his closet. Or—it’s how he imagines it must feel. His own parents certainly weren’t interested in protecting him from the things that go bump in the night.

“A dream?” Eddie repeats. He takes a step forward, puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder, and ducks his head to meet his eyes.

“More than one, actually.” Buck doesn’t want to look at him, but he knows he won’t stand for it. “Every night.” His voice cracks. “The sniper.”

“Buck.” Eddie’s hand tightens on him, grips hard enough to hurt. It’s good. Grounding. Buck wants to beg him to leave a bruise. “Why didn’t you say something?

“You’re the one who got shot,” Buck says. “What right do I have to even—”

“No, hey.” Eddie moves in closer, his hand kneading Buck’s shoulder, only a few inches of space between them now. “For me, it was just…pain, and-and your face, and then black. For you…I’ve been in your shoes before, too. I know how scary it can be.”

Buck wants to reach for him, but there’s no safe place to put his hands—the soft skin of Eddie’s waist, the pillow crease that slashes across the side of his face. “I almost didn’t save you.” Finally, Buck touches Eddie’s elbow, just gently, with the tips of his fingers. “I froze, Eddie.” His breath hitches. He can feel his face start to crumple. “I almost didn’t—”

“Oh, Buck.” Eddie yanks him in, guides Buck’s forehead to that spot Buck wanted to nestle into moments ago, holds him close. It’s awkward with Eddie’s bum arm smushed between them, his knuckles digging into Buck’s stomach, but it’s also perfect, because Eddie is warm and alive, his heart beating and blood rushing through his veins and lungs expanding, his breath ruffling Buck’s hair. “I’m here,” he murmurs, his fingers scratching into the hair at the back of Buck’s head. “I’m fine. You did save me, okay? I’m right here.”

Buck cries. For how long, he doesn’t know. Shaky sobs into Eddie’s shoulder, Eddie’s skin going slick under his cheek. His arms curl around Eddie’s waist, and his fingers dig in, clinging. Eddie almost died, but he didn’t die. He’s here, and he’s solid, and he’s real. Buck doesn’t ever want to let go of him again.

“Here, why don’t we…” Eddie says after some indeterminate amount of time, shifting to wrap his arm around Buck’s shoulders and tug. “Come on. Come lay down with me. You need sleep.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, a strangled sound. He lifts his head enough to walk under his own power, but he won’t stop touching Eddie, one arm still wound around him, their hips brushing all the way down the hall.

In the bedroom, he makes himself let go of Eddie long enough that Eddie can rearrange himself in bed, get into a position that’s comfortable for his shoulder. Buck climbs in carefully, but as soon as he starts to settle, Eddie pulls him closer, manhandles him so his face is tucked against Eddie’s neck again, that spot starting to feel like it was made just for him, two puzzle pieces fitting together.

“Sleep,” Eddie says, and soon, Buck does.

He falls into dreams of Eddie, but this time it’s different—not the sniper, not any other disaster. He dreams of Eddie and Chris at the zoo, gilded with sunlight. He dreams of Eddie grinning up at him during a rope rescue. He dreams of warm skin, warm breath, strong fingers pressing bruises into his hips.

He sleeps, and he dreams of Eddie.

[remidyal]

Outstanding antagonists after Junior Year

This post is as much for myself for fanfic purposes as it is for any speculation regarding a Senior Year that may never happen and even if it does would be I think at an absolute minimum three years and more likely 4-5 down the road, but I wanted to round up the known potential antagonists remaining out in the world, roughly ranked in order of known hostility:

Chungledown Bim. Certainly the MOST hostile of opponents, we know he's not dead post-Boy's Night (whenever Boy's Night is supposed to fit into the Quangle) because he's on Fabian's nemesis alert.

Arianwen Abernant. Evidently she has recovered her magic, probably while Cassandra was corrupted into a more Nightmare King-ish state. She was pretty pissed at Aelwyn and Adaine the last time we saw her over the whole death of Angwyn thing; I somehow don't think being chased around Sylvaire by the vand will have improved her mood.

Bobby Dawn. The full extent of his involvement in the Junior Year plot is uncertain, but he sure as hell wasn't helping things. Also some real potential hate between him and the party over the Sandra Lynn thing; while Fig might be gone in a Senior Year I'm going to ignore that for these rankings and in any case Sandra Lynn still lives with Kristen and Adaine regardless, so I think that conflict would be born out. I also think there's a strong case for a clash of pantheons style story going on in the background, and Bobby here would be front and center on the Sol-Helio-maybe Galicaea side.

Kalina. I don't necessarily think Kalina actually IS a traitor to Cassandra the way that Kristen thinks and Ankarna thinks; I almost believe that her turning up at the end of Junior Year was a reaction to them deciding to hunt her, in fact. That being said, while I think Kalina is fully team Cassandra, I also think (and even understand!) that she is most definitely NOT team Kristen, who did let Cassandra kind-of-die and now is splitting her attention. So what's Kalina's play now? I think she's going to try to push for Bobby Dawn to add Cassandra back to the Sol-Helio-Galicaea pantheon, which would be to her a much more stable foundation to keep Cassandra alive on than Kristen.

The Automatons that are going to be hunting Fig. Yes, these are self-evidently a way to excuse that Fig won't be around to help out if there's a senior year and Emily chooses to not play Fig. They're also kind of hilarious, especially since they open up all kinds of questions like 'wait did Sandra Lynn spend her first year of adventuring fighting off killer statues of Arthur Aguefort?' They'd be higher except they're only hostile to 1/6th of the Bad Kids.

Gertie Bladeshield. Also only hostile to 1/6th of the Bad Kids at present, though Cassandra knows if any of them speak up in Kristen's defense she'll probably swear a vow of emnity to them too. Could probably be made up with via a sincere apology, or at least by setting her up with someone.

The Court of Stars and Princess Nara. Now we're into the dubiously hostile territory, because this might not lead to actual conflict, but if there IS a clash of pantheons between the Sol one and the Ankarna-Cass one then the most obvious fight other than Cassandra is over where Galicaea ends up. The members of the Court of Stars we met this season seemed much more, um, I'll use the word chilled out than Angwyn and Kir of last year, but it still feels like a mercurial thing.

Arthur Aguefort. I've been saying for a very long time that the only boss fight that makes sense for a Senior Year IS to have to fight Arthur Aguefort himself; it doesn't even necessarily have to be a 'he's evil' sort of thing, but could just be a 'you're the best party we've had in centuries and I wanna throw down'. He dropped some hints at it in the finale, of course, too!

[kipperlillyclerickiller]

Exploring Unconventional Bad Kid/Ratgrinder Parallels

Obviously, when Brennan introduced the Ratgrinders in FHJY, some clear parallels in class composition popped up. Every member of the Bad Kids has a corresponding Ratgrinder who shares their general build/role in the party and (presumably) some of their psychological issues as well. But when I was rotating the characters in my mind, as one does, I realized that there were some other interesting character foils to be pointed out. I've listed them below under the read more, along with more detailed thoughts on what aspects of the characters are highlighted with each comparison.

Also I spent way too much time working on this, so I'm including a DNI banner on here (made by @kipperlillyforpresident, who also graciously let me bounce ideas off in the DMs)

Kipperlilly Copperkettle/Gorgug Thistlespring: the first parallel that i came up with. they both have issues around rage that are belied by their physical appearance, with klck being a tiny halfling who experiences an excessive amount of rage that doesn't "benefit" her adventuring-wise as she's a rogue, while on the hand, gorgug is a half-orc who started out as a barbarian in part because it is what he's physically predisposed to be, despite actually having an extremely gentle personality, only transitioning to artificer in his junior year. both have relatively normal middle-class backgrounds but still have issues; klck's anger issues regarding not having a tragic backstory are well-documented, but gorgug also has baggage that made him minimize his presence at the beginning of his high school career, stemming from growing up in a household where rage wasn't really considered at all bc it's an emotion so antithetical to the thistlesprings' way of existence (to be clear, i think the thistlesprings are great parents; it's just that they didn't really know how to address this aspect of gorgug's development)

Ruben Hopclap/Fabian Seacaster: black boys showing off the sensitive side of masculinity. last episode established that the ratgrinders are living in ruben's mansion, which he presumably bought with his rockstar money and lives in without any parental figures, meaning that he and fabian have similar living situations and probably similar issues with trying to avoid loneliness that result in attention-seeking behavior (ruben's music career and fabian's max legend status). finally, the turncoat potential: fabian has admitted to listening to ruben's music and beefed with gertie bladeshield against the rest of the bad kids. meanwhile, ruben's experiencing some sort of guilt/reluctance with the ratgrinders' plan as expressed through his interactions w/ wanda childa. i believe they can bridge the bad kid/ratgrinder divide and i want them to be friends sooo bad

Ivy Embra/Fig Faeth: most straightforward similarity is their sylvan elf heritage, but i think that the similarity that matters the most would be their image/self-portrayal, with ivy being a sort of mean girl with an edge, similar to the type of person that fig wanted to portray herself as in freshman year (even though fig is actually much more soft-hearted/sentimental). this comparison is honestly more of a what-could-be scenario that sheds light on potential alternate facets of fig's story bc 1) ivy being an elven ranger is pretty similar to sandra lynn but has the edgy persona fig only took on after she found out about her tiefling heritage and 2) we have literally no idea what's going on with ivy's emotional landscape. still, this comparison compels me, especially in light of finding out how porter and jace groomed the ratgrinders, and the way that sandra lynn got used by bobby dawn when he was an adventurer. it's like a dark mirror of what could have happened to fig if the circumstances were worse (and the fact that bobby dawn is a teacher in aguefort rn and was also collaborating with porter to an extent.... the cycles are cycling!!)

Mary-Ann Skuttle/Riz Gukgak: just little guys. specifically smaller races often stereotyped as villainous and acting in the service of the party rather than for themselves, though while we see that riz acts for the party out of genuine passion, mary-ann seems to be more apathetic. both are disconnected from regular teenage social norms, generally unbothered/unaware of looking "uncool", and more focused on their personal interests, as mary-ann has her plushies and riz has his mysteries (and his business cards from freshman year lol). even when riz joined all the school clubs this year, he did it for the sake of kristen's campaign/getting scholarship money to help his mom more than for his own reputation. another prominent similarity is a heavy compartmentalization of emotion: we don't really know what's going on with mary-ann but she hasn't shown any emotion even when trying out for bloodrush and seems remarkably unbothered for someone who's been presumably been shatter-starred. riz, in contrast, has a lot of emotions/anxieties but channels them into mystery solving and other activities, an approach encapsulated by the baron quote from fhsy: "You love the truth. You seek it so much that you cut your hands upon the inside of crystals. But, you use deception to protect yourself from something you fear." riz also isn't very forthcoming with his emotional state, evading questions from his mom and Jawbone, as well as his friends. His initial drive to solve mysteries stemmed from the emotion from his father's death, but iirc he didn't even tell the bad kids about how pok died until sophomore. And now, he's grinding in school/extracurriculars for scholarships to avoid considering the possibility of the bad kids splitting up

Buddy Dawn/Adaine Abernant: catty and blonde. (jk) both of them feel anger prominently and express it in their spellcasting (versus a more martial class), but in very different ways. adaine's whole arc throughout freshman and sophomore year has been about accepting that she has the right to be angry about the way that her parents abused her, and that her anger can be a source of power in her spellcasting; contrast the way she brained doreen with the ladle in the first battle with the corn cutie bc she didn't know what to do versus later battles in sophomore and junior year when she's learned adaine's furious fist. on the other hand, buddy uses his cleric spellcasting as a healer in order to sublimate discomforting feelings and avoid dealing with the idea of agency and consequences of emotions like anger. his whole conversation with kristen is basically him going "i don't feel anger because i repress it so deeply and i don't engage in violence, just help other people kill because that is helio's will. my hands are clean tho :)" (he is so funny) additionally, adaine has found a support system in her adventuring party, as well as jawbone and ayda, while buddy is the odd one out in the ratgrinders as lucy's replacement, isolated from preexisting support systems as he has just moved from highcourt and subsequently becoming so very vulnerable to getting shatterstarred

Oisin Hakinvar/Kristen Applebees: idk these are the only guys i have left. ok my original idea was they both have plot-relevance related to adaine's summons, with oisin hijacking adaine's dust mephits to tamper with the cloud rider engine and whatever the fuck is gonna go on with K2 in the next episodes. also have a narrative presence defined in part by the women they're crushing on, with kristen dealing with her attraction to tracker/gertie/women in general throughout all the campaigns and oisin being introduced as seemingly flustered by adaine's attention. but honestly i think the strongest parallel is that they're both haters (kristen calling klck "4dogs" and oisin calling buddy dawn "hayseed", fight!)

and of course, how could I forget...

Lucy Frostblade/Gilear Faeth: the Chosen Ones. both have plot relevance and relation to Ankarna through their ancestry. both just have a melancholy vibe. ppl from mountainous cultures often live off dairy products... i'm gonna extrapolate and assume that lucy loved blueberry yogurt

[buddydawndevoted]

so I'm not very eloquent when it comes to characters I like, much more of a "rotating them in my mind" kind of guy, but i'm going to try because oh my GOD this thought about buddy plagues my waking days.

i recall that in the finale somewhere of in an adventuring party one of the intrepid heros said "point him in a direction and he'll go" in reference to buddy and that really stuck with me because it's yet ANOTHER MIRRORING OF HIM AND KRISTEN.

when Kristen left Helio she felt unendingly lost and unguided. She searched and searched and searched for a god that she could feel a connection to and even in creating her own God (twice!) she couldn't find that. obviously this lack of connection with other deities was due to her immense doubt that eventually lead her to Cassandra, what she primarily wanted from her God was answers and in cassandra's case, the acceptance that there aren't always going to be answers.

buddy's problem is that he has been OVER guided. when with the church of Helio he was guided by his grandmother, his grandfather, other members of the church. he always had someone who could tell him what to do and what to think. even when leaving Helio he was still being told what to do and what to think! he was always under someone's thumb whether that be bobby dawn or Jace and porter. with the former he was given a new god after having something so familiar violently (literally violently) ripped away from him. so unlike Kristen, he hasn't yet been given the freedom to actually explore anything new. he's just been manipulated up to this point! he probably held onto baccarath so hard because its the closest to exploration of faith he got, he probably knew the name was bs after the ritual failed but he kept with it just because it was something new and different.

but that's also something buddy has always shown, he's always shown insane amounts of loyalty and devotion. I think that's what buddy is actually looking for in a god. loyalty. I mean think about it, his own grandfather literally left elmvile without him, nobody on the ratgrinders was ever an actual friend to him, he likely resents the neglect that Helio shows his followers whether its a conscious resentment or not, and not to mention we don't even know where the fuck his parents are or if they're at all present in his life! at basically every turn buddy has been well and truly alone. I think what he truly wants is a god that will be and will encourage truly loyalty and devotion and belief.

i hope that's what baccarath can become. not a good of rage but of devotion.

[jq37]

Are we sure Sandralynn wasn't cursed with like. Shit taste?

It's def a real mixed bag, though I think besides Bobby it's more just wild choices than straight up bad choices.

Bobby Dawn: Regular Freak. Liar, Frumpy, Wrong. Cheated on his wife and then ruined another woman's life over it. This is not a a ranking so I'm not giving him a score but I almost wish it was so I could give him a comically low number. Actually, there aren't any rules here. I still can. Negative infinity and kick rocks. If I was Sandra Lynn's friend I would be *begging* for her to love herself (or at least have a better sense of self preservation) and RUN GIRL.

Gilear Faeth: Gilear was a successful, hot elf before his loser energy kicked in because of his curse. Wasn't he like a diplomat or something? Like, Gilear now is a loveable loser but Gilear then was probably kind of a catch. And hell, Fabian's mom likes loser Gilear and she's a pretty hot commodity herself. As Sandra Lynn's friend I would be doing cartwheels if she moved on from Bobby to be with Gilear. 1000% improvement. And, for what it's worth, so is loser Gilear. Most guys would be frankly.

Gorthalax: Def seems a bit reactionary to go from a cleric of Sol to one of Sol's fallen angels turned devils. But Gorthalax is a nice guy from what we've seen and as a devil of gluttony he prob can conjure up some killer date night food. I think that if I could get over the shock of him being a MAJOR DEVIL, as Sandra Lynn's friend, I could warm to the idea. And he's not Bobby Dawn so instant improvement. However, as there was infidelity involved this would be another GIRL WHAT? reaction from me. But again, less about the guy himself, more about the decision to cheat.

Jawbone: OK so the thing about Jawbone is that I think he's great and a super good person and he's Brennan's semi-self insert so of course I love him. But he would also be an insane person to know IRL. Like, the stories he tells so casually. I think I'd be like, uh are you sure about this one? But he seems to have at least mostly chilled out now that he's working with kids and I think he's a really great guy. There's maybe a risk of contracting Lycanthropy but I'm sure they're using whatever protection you use for that. Solid guy as long as you're cool with his past.

Garthy: When Garthy was introduced, 80% of the fandom was instantly thirsting over them so objectively, "Garthy is hot" is a pretty mainstream opinion. And even if you (like myself) were in the 20% of people not thirsting over them, they're still very clearly a good person between raising Ayda and being super into self care (I loved the scene with them and Mercer's char in PoL). Also they're just really cool conceptually. So again, very normal person for Sandra Lynn to wanna hook up with. The problem, once again, is the infidelity. Especially because Jawbone was willing to have an open relationship! He closed the relationship for her! She took an L here for no reason!

So, to recap: shitty guy, good guy (who was cursed), devil (who is a good guy* and also an affair partner), good guy (with a wild past), and hot pirate (who is a good person* and also an affair partner).

*I don't remember if they knew Sandra Lynn was in a relationship when they were hooking up with her and am not factoring that into my judgement.

Besides Bobby Dawn, the rest of her choices were pretty OK (unless I'm forgetting stuff). Wild and with no obvious connecting thread--she absolutely has a rogue's gallery to rival Batman's--but it seems like the problems she had with relationships came down more to stuff other than, "She picked an objectively bad guy."

She really has the most inconsistent taste ever. I can't even begin to categorize what her type is. Gilear and Garthy should never been on any list together besides, "NPCs with G names."

[maxdurden]

share your buddy dawn hcs pretty please..

OKAY, buddy hcs (or at least some of them, i am trying to be so normal you can’t imagine. this guy lives in my head rent free)

a lot of my hcs about buddy also involve his family, just because the family stratification that happens in southern evangelical families is SO fascinating to me.

SO: buddy is a southern grandma’s boy. if you’ve lived in the south you know this guy. his grandma helped raise him, he calls his grandma ‘mimi’ and, to his grandma, he’s essentially the second coming of christ, he can do NO wrong in her eyes. buddy and pamela dawn have the kind of enmeshed relationship that would simply blow your mind

as an addendum to this: buddy dawn calls his grandma ‘mimi’ and his grandpa ‘pawpaw.’ if you are his friend, the whole family will invite you to participate in this naming tradition. this will make you uncomfortable but there’s no way out of it without seeming rude (this is a struggle i know well as a yank living in the south)

on the topic of pamela dawn, i think she’s like such a Matriarch, at least as much as one can be in that kind of misogynistic social system. i think she clings to what power she can grab and is incredibly vindictive (but never direct) about it. i think she was probably just as enmeshed and close with buddy’s dad (think #boymom) and probably HATED buddy’s mom, regardless of how good of a mom/person she was

we don’t know a lot about buddy’s parents, but my vibe is that they’re dead. if they weren’t, it doesn’t make sense to me that they would let bobby and pamela move away with their son (there are other hcs i’ve heard on this topic that are equally interesting, such as buddy’s mom and dad having a different idea of sol/helio worship and being pushed out of the family). my vibe is that they died on a mission trip. this explains why bobby didn’t just revivify them, but it also adds to the themes of legacy and family name that buddy has to contend with. like imagine if your grandpa is The Sol Televangelist Of All Time and your parents were martyred on a mission to the mountains of chaos?? oh the crushing pressure of familial expectations (and helio didn’t even choose you as his chosen one)

buddy’s legal name is robert. this one has no real evidence (in fact i feel like it’s likely that there’s no more to his name, at least canonically, than just buddy), but it makes sense to me that a man like bobby dawn would be obsessed with passing down his name and legacy. so i think it’s likely that his dad was also named robert (maybe called robbie or rob)

OR

buddy’s name is specifically NOT robert, and that’s exactly why he got the nickname buddy. this hc is a bit more convoluted, but here’s the gist: imagine buddy’s mom didn’t name him robert despite all the familial pressure to do so. of course there’s nothing bobby or pamela can really do, but they can give this kid a nickname that’ll stick for the rest of his life. plus, buddy has always seemed like a kind of condescending nickname to me and i think that would piss off his mom even more (which tbf is what i think pamela’s goal would be). but, if buddy’s legal name isn’t robert, i don’t have any super strong contenders for what his legal name would be

(i could get into a whole thing about hcs i have about his parents good god)

i think buddy grew up listening to his grandparents' old records! this means he was raised on old gospel and old country and that’s still the majority of his music taste (it doesn’t help that he’s not allowed access to most tech, especially tech from solace, so the influences he’s pulling from are relatively limited)

this is already. so. long. so i’m going to stop myself now lmao. but thank you for asking!!!!! i ALWAYS have thoughts about this fucking guy so thank you for the ask!!!!!!

[theology101]

I wonder who initiated the Rat Grinder-Starbreaker team up?

First bet is probably either Jace or Porter (by way of Jace) restoring one or more Rat Grinders to life while in the Mountains of Chaos. The issue with that is that Lucy didn’t get the Rune until well after Springbreak AND as far as we are aware Porter has been present each time the runes were confirmed used (Lucy, Yolanda and Buddy). If Lucy hadn’t died, then she could’ve rezzed them herself

Second one, kinda out of left field, is that it was Oisin’s Grandma. Blue dragons, especially one powerful enough to have a massive brood of Wyrmlings under her control, is incredibly powerful, cautious and self-interested. For her to commit so many resources because 1 of her presumably HUNDREDS of descendants is a little odd in and of itself. However, given that Hakinvar Sr had been friends with Kalvaxus, it isn’t out of the question that she made a deal with Jace and Porter for revenge - and also some presumably powerful rewards to make it worthwhile. Then all it took was her telling Oisin to nudge his party that way (So he changed the name to Rat Grinders, knowing it would piss of Kipperlily and make her easy for Porter to control). Which would make sense, seeming as how he is VERY involved with several steps of the plan, more so then even Jace

Last one is an oddball - what if it was Kipperlily making contact with Porter, after being manipulated by Jace? Jawbone “What can you do to be more successful as an adventurer?” is what Jawbone asked her when she was angry at the Bad Kids. Well, after their springbreak, what did they do? Restore a God to life. And where did the Rat Grinders go (under Jace’s supervision)? Ankarna’s Lost Temple. I think that Kipperlily then did the detective work to realize who Porter is, connect him to the Barkrock attack, and then ask to be in on it.

Lucy wasn’t going for it, of course, but Porter is familiar with Devil’s Honey from Bobby Dawn so he has Kipperlily order some. She convinces the party to go along with her plan to bring back Ankarna and work with Porter and Jace (“After all, the bad kids already have such an advantage, its only fair we get this) and has varying levels of success. Oisin, Ivy and Mary Ann go right along with it, cause why not? Reuben feels uneasy about it, something happens to him (maybe attacked the same way Yolanda was by Porter, brought back and was then down? Or maybe he’s just Rage Crystalled without dying) that makes him change his vibe and then he’s down.

And Lucy? Well, it works on Lucy for a little bit, enough that she changes her God. But it isn’t enough, Ruvina gets through yo her and Lucy changes back. Demanding a show of loyalty (and a promise that Lucy WILL come back on their Side), the Rat Grinder’s kill her, Porter places the Rune and she rejects it.

We’ll find out in an hour 40 but still, worth a theory

[ratgrinders]

Just wanted to say this blog has actually really changed my view on the rat grinders/pos.

At first I didn't care about them too much but dang, really sparked the empathy there. Buddy makes me so sad thinking about it because he doesn't have that support system that Kristen has.

One of like the key principles of deconverting someone from a cult/extremist faith (which like, isn't the entirety of the helioic faith but seems to be a good bit) is patience and kindness because youre pushing someone out of what's been familiar to them for years and years on end. I wish Buddy actually got a chance like Kristen did, I want so badly for the ratgrinders to like each other. I want so badly for buddy to get a place to choose if he wanted to pursue the helioic faith or leave it. Even if it's probably unlikely.

thank you so much!!!! thats what im here for haha

like, im not gonna begrudge someone if they dislike the rat grinders because they remind them of some unfortunate people they've met or what-have-you. it's just, compared to some of the other teenage villains in spyre (penelope everpetal and dayne blade, who ultimately in the season they appeared were kind of one-note) the rat grinders have been afforded a degree of complexity that makes me want to give them the chance to change. They're all still just teenagers who may just be short-sighted or in the presence of corrupting adults, they still have the opportunity to grow. If aelwyn and ragh can do it, then there's nothing so far that makes me believe the rat grinders can't either.

as for buddy dawn specifically, yeah absolutely! buddy dawn so far has been positioned as a sort of "here's who you were, here's what you could've been if you didn't meet the bad kids on the first day" to kristin. buddy's not like bobby dawn, a seasoned preacher entrenched in the church for decades who is actively and maliciously using his power in the church for bigotry. buddy's still a teenager who has been raised in this insulated cult to believe that what he says is correct, and there's still time for him to recognize the faults in his church and change for the better. what he says is still wrong and hurtful, but its entirely possible that just like kristin, his move to aguefort is the first time he's been in an environment not entirely insulated by the cult where he can be exposed to viewpoints other than his own. ultimately it's buddy's choice whether or not he decides to break from his harmful upbringing, but i want him to be afforded the chance to make it.

[fallingdown98]

FHJY Called Shot

Mostly making this post so if this is right i can say I called it. Obviously, thanks to the preview we know that the Bad Kids are gonna have to do the "Last Stand" exam. I'm aware that on a meta level, this was always going to happen because of how production works but I think this may also relate to some of the Teachers being in on the conspiracy w/ the RatGrinders + Ankarna. In on the conspiracy in this case, does not necessarily mean bad guy though because I have an inkling based on absolutely nothing that this conflict may involve more than just one conspiring group. Might even be willing to think the teachers may be the ones putting the RG up to the shit theyve been doing. Specifics under the read more because i have a lot of thoughts. Listed in most sus to least sus but worth noting

Porter - First to mention the Last Stand, Warhammer = Akarna’s Scales theory, Rage, his Giant lineage (Through Earth Genasi), Ancestral Paladin relates to prior point, Steering Fig away from Cass, “Barbarian” healed Ragh post prom before he was able to see Kalina (Also, didn’t use Lay on Hands which we now know he would have had access to), Paired with Jace Stardiamond (AKA another sus mf), unsurprised at the carnage on the first day of Freshman year

Jace - Current VP so has power even if he keeps claiming he doesn’t want it, Seen most w/ Porter (See above), Ragh saw him talking to Arianwen (And Kalina) post prom (Aka I think Spy’s tongue curse will lead to this), first to inspect the hellmouth magic FY and recognized both the divine and Nightmare King stuff, Yolanda specifically said she would go to Jace over Grix with the Lucy Info, Speculation: Divine Soul Sorcerer, Of Note: Would have had most contact with FY Villain Penelope Everpetal as she was also a sorc, Also also I DO NOT trust the fact that he put Riz on the faculty we still need to check those school Bylaws

Henry HopClap - Not on OG FY Faculty Roster, Grix’s hard drive, His connection with Ruben, Could have encouraged Gorgug w/ the intention/assumption he’d fail and thus would have to take The Last Stand, Frosty Faire Fest had some clearly evil artificing with the wires thing and would have the most knowledge in this regard

Zara Sool - Also not on OG FY Faculty Roster, Showed up at Mordred during Baron’s Game (I know they said in AP that it was a riff on Horror Movie Monsters but she was still the only one without a direct connection to the Manor), Lover of Celestial (Could be either pro or anti Ankarna), Also seen with Sus Porter, Agreed w/ Porter against Cass

Rogue Teacher - Sometimes the simplest answer is the correct one, Maybe the Rogue teacher has put KLCK up to some amount of her plot or assisted in some way leading to Teach finding Student rather than Vice-Versa. 

Bobby Dawn - This mf is last just cuz we already know he’s up to some shady shit and I can’t wait for the Bad Kids to murder his pompous ass, Probably the one to expel Kristin which gives him both satisfaction but also leads to Last Stand

TLDR: I think there’s a conspiracy within the Faculty and that it’s possible Porter, Jace, Henry, Zara, and/or the Rogue Teacher are all working together. If they are pressuring the RatGrinders, that would give added motivation to fuck over the Bad Kids for a good grade. Also think something catastrophic will happen at the Last Stand and that it was part of the plan since day 1 (Im aware on a meta scale this may just be me overthinking and we just needed to give a reason to use the cool battleset)

[cloudysunnysummer]

Vampire Sam Winchester

Sam opened the door almost sighing, his eyes half-closed to escape the hallway light. Boredom coursed through his body, monotony fighting for space with his cold blood in his veins.

The woman was still sleeping. The room was so dark that he couldn’t tell if an ordinary eye could see anything there. The moonlight was partially covered by clouds, so the nearest light source would be the streetlights across the street. On top of everything, it was still an ugly night.

He pressed his nails into his wrist while whispering in the ear of his new acquisition. He didn’t usually feel pain, and the repeated task had already left the skin on his wrist numb.

She opened her eyes instinctively seeking her creator’s blood. Sam guided her to the right spot, and within seconds his blood was already being drained.

For the first time that day, Sam let his mind empty. He could see his thoughts drifting away one by one until the only thing that mattered was the now synchronized heartbeats of both of them.

His instinct woke him up; he had given enough. With a sudden movement, he withdrew his arm, holding her shoulder to maintain the distance.

The cold wind blew on his cheeks, and fatigue suddenly overwhelmed him. As he moved away from the girl, he noticed she was smiling, practically drugged by his blood. She would be a good one, and that scared him.

All the thoughts came back at once, and Sam was forced to lean against the opposite wall, slowly sitting on the floor. All he wanted was for everything to shut up. For everything to finally stop making noise.

Memories invaded his mind, more confused than usual. He couldn’t even remember what he had lived. He tried to grasp the images that appeared, but they fled as quickly as they came.

He had played soccer in his childhood, right? No, no, he had played baseball. But at the same time, how did he have time for sports while always on the run? He rubbed his eyes, hoping his body would finally calm down. But the visions only became more confusing and psychedelic. He no longer knew what belonged to him and what belonged to his victims.

Names now laughed at him. John, Mary, Bobby, Castiel, and Dean. Dean. He let out a laugh remembering the last one. Something similar to pain tore through his chest. His brother, the one who had sworn to protect him from all the world’s evil, now dead. Dead because he couldn’t stop his hunter instincts. Dead because despite everything, he was still weak. Dead because of Sam.

He hit his closed fist against his own head, an action that wasn’t planned, just the instinct of his own nature. He sighed deeply and forced himself to look at the creature in front of him, who had already fallen asleep.

She was beautiful; he knew that had contributed to his choice. Her breathing was heavy, and her face was covered in Sam’s blood. He slowly got up and went towards the girl, removing her hair from her face, which was stuck due to sweat. He looked around, made sure everything was in order, and left.

In the hallway, he looked out the window, and the dawn still haunted the city. He had all the time in the world, and the vampire couldn’t care less.

(this is very short but maybe ill continue it, let me know what you think. also this was originally written in portuguese so if there is any mistakes or any parts confused thats probably why lol).

[artofmissdemeanor]

Saw @respectissexy making fan castings for both the rat grinders and bar parents and I probably would add the fantasy high teachers because a abott elementary type season would be so funny.

Let’s start with the rat grinders though.

Kipperlilly Coperkettle

I agree that Aabria Iyengar is the only right choice here… i’d love to see her to play what is basically an even meaner Suvi.

Ruben Hobclapp

Look hear me out: Sam Riegel as Ruben. It be so funny, also Sam would be a bard again which is just good for nature and he always has great chemistry with Aabria.

Mary Ann Skuttle

Though one for me but I think I will go with Jasmine Bhullar over Rekha Shankar on this one. Jasmine is already so good with just little creatures in coffin run. Also I’d love to see her as a player. Also I think she can play her respectfully and still really fucking funny.

Oisin Hakinvar

Ross Bryant! I was between Iffy, Hank Green and Ross on this one but I believe Ross is the Choice! I just want him in the dome. Also he gives secretly buff nerd vibes.

Ivy Embra

Ai👏mee👏Car👏rero👏 She plays magnificent bitches so well please. Also great chemistry with Aabria she deserves to be chaotic with Aimee for once instead of getting her shit wrecked by her.

Lucy Frostblade

Persephone Valentine. Again another player with great chemistry with Aabria but also she already broke my heart as Sam Nightingale, I’d allow her to do it a second time as Lucy. Also the looks she would serve. Lucy deserves the glow up she is my favorite of the rat grinders after all.

Buddy Dawn

I’d rather would like to have campaign with my girl Lucy but if need id need Damian Haas to make Bobby acceptable to me.

[invisibleraven]

"Go the fuck to sleep" how about for old school sunset curve.

Adrenaline thrummed through Luke's veins as they left the stage, the fading sound of applause still ringing in his ears. "Boys that was a fucking kick as show!"

"I can't believe they asked for a second encore!" Reggie exclaimed as he rubbed a towel over his sweat drenched hair. "I doubt we have a shirt left after that!"

"Not after you gave out half our stock to every cute girl you saw no," Alex snarked, earning him a towel to the face.

"Let's pack up and get something to eat, I'm starved," Bobby said, before they got into it.

"Street dogs?" Luke proposed as they collected their stuff, and accepted their pay for the evening.

"Actual food," Bobby countered. "Not out of an engine block."

"Pizza!" Reggie voted, and they all agreed, stopping to get a slice from their favourite dive before heading back to the studio.

It had long become a band ritual that after a show they would just sleep in the studio-Celia didn't mind, even though she always insisted they were welcome to come in the house. Bobby insisted they didn't want to wake her up, so they pulled out the couch and squeezed onto it, and had an epic rock paper scissors fight over who got stuck sleeping on the oversized beanbag in the loft.

Bobby got the chair this time, but in truth, he didn't really mind. Alex snored, Reggie was a cuddler, and Luke was an insomniac at the best of times, let alone after a gig. At least curled in the chair he had half a chance at getting some sleep.

"You think next show we should change the tempo of Get Lost?" Luke mused as they settled in.

"My kick leg says no," Alex grumbled. "It's already fast enough, and the last time we tried it I almost busted the drum."

"What about Long Weekend? I wasn't sure about the bridge arrangement," Luke asked them.

"It was fine," Reggie assured him. "The crowd was loving it!"

"I know, I know," Luke replied. "It's just, if we wanna get noticed, we gotta stand out somehow."

"We will buddy, but we played a good set, the owner wants us back next weekend, no complaints," Reggie said around a yawn.

"Plus we've got the tour coming up," Alex rationalized. "That'll put us on the map all over the coast."

"Night all!" Bobby called from the loft, the others replying, and then it was quiet for a bit.

But Luke was restless-he always was after playing, like the music and energy never could settle in his veins afterwards. His mind raced with chords and the remembrance of the lights, the crowd, and analyzing every note.

"Luke stop humming," Alex said groggily.

"Sorry," he whispered, trying to close his eyes and settle. But the night was still replaying in his mind.

"Luke seriously, go the fuck to sleep!" Bobby yelled from the loft.

"I'm trying!" he protested.

"Go run around the block and get your energy out," Reggie said, smacking his lips together. "Then come back and at least try to nap, we have class tomorrow."

"Alright," Luke said, easing himself up and took off. Was it a good idea to run around Los Feliz after midnight? Probably not. But he had taken enough self defense classes in lieu of gym to feel okay. Plus the run really did help quiet the restless energy thrumming through him.

So maybe it was closer to dawn than he would have liked before he dropped off, and he needed to be prodded awake, plus a mug of Celia's triple roast to get him up and going, but Luke knew it was worth it.

Though Alex swore next week he was dosing Luke's post show water with melatonin. Luke shrugged, and said he was welcome to try. But he doubted anything would ever kill the racing of his brain after a show.

But he did purposefully lose rock paper scissors the next week so they could sleep-because above everything, Luke was a good friend. Even if he was still humming in the loft, it served more as a lullaby than anything, and the others couldn't really complain as they drifted off to the refrain of Crooked Teeth.

[wee-chlo]

Okay so if I miss anything, let me know but despite how last episode ended, I'm still GIDDY about how far ahead of the Rat Grinders the Bad Kids are. Like, they don't know what the Bad Kids know. They don't even know what THEY don't know at this point. They're probably making such big moves because they think they've got it in the bag and there isn't going to be any consequences.

To Whit, as far as the Rat Grinders know:

The Bad Kids are assholes

The Bad Kids know Kipperlily killed Buddy

The Bad Kids know something about the devil's honey but not necessarily what's going on with it?

(though to me when I watched the episode it was unclear if that was the Rat Grinders or if that was JUST Porter, so the Bad Kids may have been making veiled comments about devil's honey with the Rat Grinders having zero clue what they were talking about)

They MAYBE know about the fact that the Rat Grinders were involved with Lucy's death

Like, they know someone broke into Ruben's house but like... TECHNICALLY it shouldn't have been the Bad Kids. The Bad Kids shouldn't know where Ruben lives, so while I would imagine they'd immediately assume it was the Bad Kids, based on what they know, it can't have been the Bad Kids. The Bad Kids shouldn't know where Ruben lives and would have no reason to break in.

Unless they figured out Wanda Childa was Fig, but that's really the only way I would think they'd concretely know the Bad Kids knew where they lived.

They don't know that the Bad Kids know Buddy is alive and a cleric of the Unnamed God.

They don't know that the Bad Kids know Porter is involved, or that they know Porter's backstory (something I seriously doubt the Rat Grinders know).

They don't know that the Bad Kids know for a fact what happened to Lucy and Professor Badgood.

They don't know that the Bad Kids know Bobby Dawn is involved and complicit.

They don't know that the Bad Kids know about the temple to the Unnamed God in the Mountains of Chaos, or that the Rat Grinders have gone there frequently.

They don't know that the Bad Kids know the true name of the Unnamed God or her history.

They don't know that the Bad Kids have been in communication with Ankarna.

They OBVIOUSLY don't know that Fig has literally claimed the infernal portfolio of the Unnamed God, or at least a considerable piece of it.

They don't know that the Bad Kids literally know EVERYTHING. The entire plan. Nothing they do or say will be that big of a shock. They've read their DMs, they've gone through their therapy files, they've broken into their offices and found their dirtiest secrets with almost consistent Nat 20s and Over-30 rolls.

The Rat Grinders think they're like four steps ahead but while the specifics might catch the Bad Kids off guard, the Rat Grinders are STILL underestimating them, I think, on top of just being blissfully ignorant of how Done-zo they, the Rat Grinders, are.

[shallowseeker]

The script for 7x17 Born-Again Identity wasn't all that different from what aired.

The thing that made it hit so tensely romantic n' horrifically raw (to the point that it made everyone uncomfortable, allegedly) was probably this seemingly innocuous little line: "Just-- take it. Please."

It's not just the symbolism of the coat being a symbol of their relationship, (though it is certainly that). The coat, like the Leviathan blossom in season 15, is a little smooshed, but it's still there, against all the odds. But this "just take it, please," line is just so desperate. It sounds dangerously close to "giving away your heart." Please.

Just take it. Please. Just take it. Please.

///

All the monsters, and Chuck, throughout the series, "just want your heart," (ex., the werewolf to Dean in 13x23 script), but Dean already gave it to Cas.

///

He goes to the car trunk. Digs... Comes up with Cas's folded, stained COAT. DEAN: Dumb to keep. I know. I saw you-- dissolve or whatever. But, just in case. 'Casue I never stopped wanting to fix it either. So we got something in common. (re: the coat) Just-- take it. Please.

The script also calls to mind 7x10 Death's Door, where Bobby laments his fight with Karen, and not being able to fix their last fight. Bobby's dying act was to help direct them toward the whereabouts of Emanuel.

///

And then, after Dean finds Cas, he is so, so reluctant to tell Cas the awful truth, partially in order to spare him the pain of it. He knows that Cas, in his core, cares about doing the right thing. He knows that this will hurt him.

And...he's so afraid of Cas disappearing. Sam's dying, and Dean needs his help, but he's also, really, really taking an emotional hit by all of this.

Cas says, "Tell me. I'll be fine." And Dean is generally unhinged and distressed about that possibility: "How do you know?" Because being an angel is "bloody and corrupt," and Dean knows that it hurts Cas to be tangled up in all of it.

DEAN (snapping) Think it's that cut and dry? Really?! (then) You know what he did. So what, tell him, he'll take it in stride? He could snap, disappear-- who knows!

///

On the heels of this:

DEAN: No. Honestly-- I don't know if he's dead. All I can say is...whole thing couldn't be messier. (then, quieter) I could always shake if off. Anything. Might take a while, but I could. Then... Cas did this. And I just can't, I don't know why. CAS: It doesn't matter why. DEAN: What? Course that matters--

Of course it matters, because it's Dean's feelings. It's different! He doesn't know why! It's The Piece of the Puzzle that Dean keeps tearing at, not letting it scab over. It's the thing he's been working to understand about himself, from his outsized reactions to Cas not trusting him in season 6 to his incredible devastation at the events of season 7.

This will lead him to a dawning acceptance of why he can't shake Cas in season 8, and that will lead Dean to a sad, calm resolve to accept...whatever it will be.

//////////////////

(Text Attributions// Supernatural scripts here via @spnscripthunt. Transcripts are located here via SPNWiki. Visit their Tumblr to donate.)