#probably because it looks great and also I get to change my pet peeves about the artstyle

[what-bot]

Redrew a gorgeous Uprising scene that came across my dash in a gorgeous colour palette that came across my dash

[olderthannetfic]

Re: discourse about using outliers / the worst examples of a group to justify generalizations-- this is also a problem with the femslash wank asks

I'm one of those filthy f/f folks who actually does want to see more femslash relative to mascslash, but I'm not anti-fujo or a terf or telling ppl to change their own tastes. I'm proship / SALS and kinkmato and I think fujoshi are great; I appreciate their massive contribution to fandom culture including AO3's existence itself

But some ppl seem like they just hate f/f fandoms generally and want a reason to bitch about us? and I've felt super demoralized by it whenever I read your blog lately

Like the complaints about f/f being too wholesome and fluffy and that this is somehow bad?? tumblr is C O V E R E D with cutesey fluffy bubbly m/m art using That Artstyle we all know and nobody complains about it. But when sapphic art is like this suddenly its cause we're boring sexless puritans who dont know what pussy should look like? The huge amount of kinky weird depraved f/f thats out there gets totally erased and the wholesome stuff gets scapegoated as a symbol of regressiveness.

Or the constant lecturing to "JuSt CrEaTe It YoUrSeLf" as if nobody who says they want more f/f would actually be making it??? How do you KNOW they're not making it? Are you stalking the tumblr of every ao3 f/f author to make sure they never expressed the opinion you hate , and vice versa??

Yeah a few awful ppl have been super obnoxious, terfy, or puritanical bullies with how they talk about this topic. But when you constantly bring those people up to demonize talking about it at all it feels like you're creating a taboo around it because you want those annoying lesbian feminists to shut the fuck up. Cause how dare we, right? How dare we express desire for something in a way that reminds you patriarchy exists.

You won't even let us express that we're bitter or sad about feeling like a minority even amongst other queer women. You won't let us express simple jealousy without interpreting that jealousy in the most terfy antiship bad faith way possible!

I won't defend those who actually harass ppl or moralize over ships. I won't defend anti-fujos. But when you constantly lump me in with those people just because I looked at AO3 stats and went "Hmmm, it would be cool if this was more balanced :/" or whatever it feels like you just don't want me to say anything at all

--

Is this about me personally? Yes, I agree that topics that are repetitive start to feel like an attack.

But with regards to AO3 stats, this is my pet peeve, as you probably know if you read here often, and I'm unlikely to stop being angry about it.

AO3 is extremely unusual in the history of fandom for being a very big, very multifandom site that is not m/m-specific but where m/m outnumbers other things. There have been large-ish slash archives before. There have been and still are other large, multifandom archives, from FFN and Wattpad, which are in AO3's weight class, to medium size ones like MediaMiner. The spaces that aren't m/m-specific generally have f/m vastly outnumbering m/m. They also make it harder to get stats than AO3 does.

I don't have an issue with people looking at overall fandom stats and complaining that f/f has the short end of the stick when it comes to fanfic broadly. I do object to people pulling only AO3 stats and going "The one anomalous clubhouse that looks like this is the problem" and pointing at m/m.

It's the same problem you point out, just in another direction. After being told "Okay, but the amount of m/m..." constantly for years, people are fed up and never want to hear it again. Even if it's phrased nicely. Even if the person saying it is also hurting.

[holocene-sims]

oc deep dive

thank you @stargazer-sims for tagging me!! naturally, because i am predictable, i'll answer these questions for grant 🙈

not sure who has done this tag because it went around mostly when i was on hiatus, but i'll tag: @windermeresimblr @nectar-cellar @papermint-airplane @queeniecook @sparkiekong + anyone who wants to do it 💌

what uncommon/common fear do they have?

common: he's a major germaphobeeeeeee

hello, mr. showers-multiple-times-a-day! 🧼

btw i always headcanon grant as wearing masks frequently in public and always in very crowded places like airplanes. you just don't see that in-game because all the mask cc i have installed conflicts with his glasses and/or eyelashes 😔

uncommon: idk if he's afraid of anything uncommon. the main ones for him are germs + being yelled at or physically pushed around, which are common. i guess you could say noses kind of freak him out; the whole cartilage/bone/close-to-the-brain combo is a very unpleasant thought for him lolz

do they have any pet peeves?

you know how most people hate it when a two-person party at a cafe/restaurant sit on the same side of the bench? grant actually hates it when the other person sits opposite of him; he finds it a little bit awkward and lonely. he'd much rather have the friend or partner sit next to him, provided they're cool with it and a side-by-side seating arrangement is possible! ❤️

what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

his cat, probably

hand sanitizer (citrus scent)

pikachu plush acquired during the korea arc with henry

what do they notice first in a person?

physically: hair 💇 simply because hair is the first thing his eyes can see when looking at someone...unless they're the same height as him, at which point he can finally look someone in the eyes lmao

personality-wise: if they're nice to servers or other customer service workers and tip well

on a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

at this point, it's a 10. his body is a little (a lot) banged up from old injuries and being chronically ill. when he was super young, his pain tolerance was not that great, like stubbing a toe was a serious hour-ruining problem, but he's had to get used to feeling much worse, so his "i feel great, let's go run a marathon!!" days now are probably an average person's 6 on the pain scale but a 2 or so for him. it's not that things hurt *less*, it's more that the conditions that would get him to notice his pain, pay more attention to it, or rate the pain level at a 6 or well above that are far more extreme.

do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

it depends what kind of pressure. if it's some kind of social pressure, aka being in an argument with someone or having upset someone, it triggers major fight or flight response, and usually, he's a flight kind of person. it's changed, though, over the course of the story. i think he's more willing to fight or at least just feel the fight/flight response while responding with a cool head.

if it's a non-social pressure like a situation at work, even if people are involved in the situation he needs to deal with, grant responds very differently. he doesn't get the fight or flight response here, he's always pretty level-headed and logical about non-social situations.

do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

his family is too big, but he adores them all (sans his parents and one of his sisters). grant is 1000000% a family person!

what animal represents them best?

personally, i think he could be a panda. large, cuddly, and endearing

what is a smell that they dislike?

ultimate irony: he hates the smell of cigarettes ☠️

and he finds it funny. he's unfortunately been addicted to smoking forever, but he's so irritated by the smell and also scared of bothering anyone with it that he takes extreme measures to avoid not absorbing cigarette scent lmao

have they broken any bones?

oh dear. yes, he has. lol. the whole "i accidentally knocked out/broke some of my teeth playing hockey thing" was real 😭😭

the teeth were probably the most obvious/annoying bones to break, but he did also break the pinky finger on his left hand, aka his dominant hand, at church when he was like six. he was fucking around in the church basement with his cousins and friends after some church event, and when they were leaving to go back upstairs, he shut the giant wooden door too quickly, which jammed his finger hard enough to break it 💀

how would a stranger likely describe them?

physically: giant, should have played basketball

personality-wise: charming

are they a night owl or a morning bird?

i think he's somewhere in between! he's happy to stay up late and get up early. although, even if he does stay up late, he still will always get up early. he's used to that from work and also from chronic pain bothering him in his sleep.

what is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

love: coconut, chocolate, citrus, coffee

hate: strawberry, vanilla, tea

do they have any hobbies?

cooking, baking, playing video games, dungeons & dragons/TTRPGs, painting, stargazing/reading about astronomy, watching airplanes irl or in videos, watching youtube, watching cat videos on instagram reels, hiking when he feels up to it, working out, traveling, reading (he's trying to fully get back into it), etc.

boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises?

honestly, grant is one of those people who does muchhhh better with surprise birthday parties than planned parties. if you give him zero time to think about receiving love, gifts, and affection, he can't do the whole "woe is me, i don't deserve it, you're too nice" shtick

do they like to wear jewelry?

at this point, he doesn't really own any. he used to have piercings (the only ones remaining are the 🍒💍, and he did have a claddagh ring, which was a gift from his great uncle, but the piercings were lost to career dress codes, and the ring disappeared with all his other stuff that his mother threw out years ago.

so, he's not anti-jewelry, like he'd totally wear rings at least, and he regrets that his one very nice ring was lost :( i think he'd also wear a necklace if someone gave him one, but grant himself would not naturally consider himself a necklace guy, so he wouldn't go out of his way to purchase one of his own volition.

(author's note: he deserves a nice necklace)

he does wear a leather watch all the time, though, but i'm not sure if that should be categorized as jewelry or just an accessory!

do they have neat or messy handwriting?

he has very neat handwriting!

what are two emotions they feel the most?

probablyyyyyy contentment (i know that may seem ironic given the story, but i think he's generally chill *now*, and my image of him is always a little bit colored by the yet unpublished end of everything the stars promised, which will get posted some day when the plot gets to that point) and shame

do they have a favorite fabric?

he may not own anything in this fabric but minky dot!! grant has visited fabric & craft stores many times with grandma aoifeeeeee, and when he and his cousins were younger, they loved to run around the stores feeling up all the fabric. he's always fond of minky dot because (1) it's soft, and (2) the dots are fun to poke at.

what kind of accent do they have?

i feel like i've answered this so many times, but grant, in my mind, has a unique accent!! he grew up in small town upper peninsula michigan, so he's had plenty of time to absorb the yooper/midwestern accent, but he was also raised by a family full of immigrants and spent most of his childhood hanging out around his grandparents specifically and traveling overseas to visit family, so at the same time, his accent turned irish-y early on. he's not the only one that combo accent happened to, but he probably has the strongest case out it outside of his aunt and uncle.

basically, with 100% certainty, i deem that grant has never and will never be able to pronounce the th sound with the h in it or vowels without them being nasally.

it's hard to put what i think he sounds like on paper, but it's some mix of these people: (1) (2) (3)

[hecateisalesbian]

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

I’m not answering that

^^

Three films? God uhhhhhhhh. Probably any studio ghibli films, ATSV, and (not a film but a TV show) friends (YES I KNKW IM SORRY I GREW UP ON OLD TV AND MOVIES)

Autism Hamburger

Idk

Best: seeing the things people do with technology. Worst: seeing the things people do with technology

Fuggin spiders man I hate those guys except mines an irrational fear so idk why

*looks at the camera like it’s the office*

One time I woke up and I had puked on the wall, the bed, and myself and my sister just threw me into the shower fully clothed lmao

Sure

anythjng and everything if you’re determined enough (sword fighting)

Don’t eat yellow snow

Laying in bed filling out this thing

Ask literally any of my crushes out

Colorado

My weight/my fatness

My pets, My Friends, and my Blorbos

Yes

Sleeping

Sleeping

Ig

She has gorgeous red hair, her laughter is contagious, and she’s TALL 🤧😍

Go. F. Himself.

Making it this far

Autumn because of all the pretty colors and it’s Halloween AND it’s perfect weather for both tee and shorts but also LAYERS ✨

Purple bc ouprle

Lots

Pins and tabs mostly

Distract myself or snuggle my dog

Talking to my friends

Messy

I decline to answer that rn…

Drawing, reading, cosplaying, etc

As someone with misophonia I hate when people just. Eat. Or breath. Or drink water.

Yes and no

Both :3

I’m trans (it’s a secret to my mom :p)

anything by Hatsune Miku and/or Dance of the Robe from Aida

Dinobunnycosplay bc they make GREAT cosplays

A lot

[hellhound5925]

Get To Know Me asks:

12, 15, 22, 27, 29, and 30

Thank you for the Ask!

12) What is something you want right now?

Tickets to see Ghost/ for them to come back to the US because I need them in my life 😂😭

15) Personality description.

I have a hard time explaining myself so we shall see how this goes 😂 I tend to be kind of quiet at first but the more you get to know me the less I shut up (ask my husband). I’m definitely outgoing, hardworking, and tend to forget to take time for myself because I get too caught up in things. Pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD because sometimes things get wild (like Jutty, iykyk). 9 times out of 10 my brain is working faster than I can keep up with 😂 Not much of a party girl but if you’re in my friend group, theres nothing I love more than spending quality time with my small circle.

I hyperfixate on things like you would not believe. Like when I like something I REALY like something, I’ll eat, sleep, and breathe it until it runs it course or it stays i.e. Supernatural, Starwars, Ghost, and Sleep Token. And then it will likely become a tattoo 😅

My heart is always with other people. I work in a field where I care for people with developmental disabilities and theres nothing that makes me happier than to see people who cannot succeed on their own succeeding even with help. I’ve been told I make a great leader in my field as well.

I’m also not someone who gets angry but when I do, someone really must have done something quite bad. I am a quietly angry person whose usually blowing up on the inside but you’d probably never know it other than the dead silence.

I hope that was that answers that!

22) Descrption of Crush.

🤔 Like fictional or real life? Personality or looks? I guess I’ll start off by saying I’m not a looks person. Obviously I find people attractive but its always been about so much more for me. Someone who is caring and patient enough to put up with my brain is good enough for me 😂 I’ve always been drawn to the personalities like Hunter but obviously he’s beautiful to look at so double win.

27) Things I hate…

Disrespectful people. This is one of my biggest pet peeves I guess we can say. Like you don’t have to like me and I don’t have to like you but you will NEVER catch me being disrespectful to someone. I give it and expect people to give the same which I really don’t think is a big ask.

Grape/Cherry flavoring. I took medication as a kid that made me sick to my stomach that was flavored like that 🤷‍♀️

29) Favorite Film

Corpse Bride (2005) (at least right now because it tends to change)

30) Favorite Tv shows

Supernatural, The Bad Batch, The Mandalorian, The Witcher (these are shows that I will default to when I can’t find anything else to watch).

[maya-matlin]

Obviously Naley is one of the best TV ships of all time, maybe even THE best, so I'm challenging you to name a few things you don't love or would change about the way their ship was written! For me a big one is their S2 plot and her music storylines in general- I'm all for conflict but I thought Haley, who values personal relationships so much more than 'celebrity', was pretty out of character through S2. I also ---pet peeve alert - HATE how all the main OTH characters are not only athletes and cheerleaders but soooo gifted creatively! Lucas becomes a semi-famous novelist, Peyton becomes the producer of her own record company in addition to being a gifted artist, Brooke has her own fabulously successful fashion line which she started back in high school, and we then get Julian who's a successful film director and Alex Dupree who's a B-list movie star. Nathan isn't creatively gifted but is of course not just a great athlete but good enough to be in the .0001% who gets to the NBA. And they all still live in this small North Carolina town lol...I mean, I don't expect the show to be strictly realistic, but come on! More than even one of those things happening strains credulity. So I loved that Haley was presented as the ONE character who was so relatable and into academics and down to earth and all that, but the show then suddenly decides after S1 purely because the actress likes to sing that Haley is not just a decent singer but good enough to immediately go on TOUR?! What?!?! It's an aspect of the show that annoys the hell out of me. I loved Haley as a teacher for a variety of reasons and think it's the perfect career choice for her and will always resent that they had to also make her a star singer lol. 3. I'll still never quite get why Naley had to marry a few months into their relationship when they were just juniors in high school and there was no pregnancy. 4. So I like Nathan a lot overall, but there's no denying that he was a HORRIBLE, borderline emotionally abusive boyfriend to Peyton (as you've pointed out, he left her stranded on a dark and deserted road, was super cruel to her, and was all set to let her suffer legal consequences for a car accident HE caused lol) and I just don't love the "but the RIGHT girl can immediately tame and save the bad boy" trope. So I love that Naley brought out the best in each other, of course, but I just wish the change in Nathan hadn't been quite so abrupt! OK, thanks for listening to be vent!

Hmm. The thing about parts of Naley's season 2 arc is that personally, I think Nathan and Haley were mostly in character during everything leading up to Haley leaving for the tour. In my opinion, it's a pretty realistic depiction of what happens when you get married as teenagers following a short relationship before you've been able to become independent people. The circumstances were pretty unrealistic. In real life, a small town girl probably wouldn't end up going on tour a couple of months into performing live for the first time in her life. Haley's career wouldn't have taken off nearly as fast without Chris there to vouch for her talents and bringing The Wreckers to Tree Hill. But if we ignore all of that, the reality is that Haley spent her entire life afraid to take chances. Falling in love with and marrying Nathan allowed Haley to be more impulsive and to become a braver person. Nathan, in contrast, needed Haley's stability and good influence. While he was the same age at her and hadn't been allowed to live independently away from his toxic and abusive parents for long, he had more romantic and sexual relationship experience prior to Haley and was looking to slow down rather than jumping into new things. So for Nathan, giving up something like High Flyers was less of a big deal at the time than Haley choosing not to go with Chris to New York. Nathan had grown up with a life of privilege, receiving the best money could buy as far as getting ahead as an athlete. Plus by the end of season 1 and first half of season 2, you could assume that Nathan was beginning to associate basketball with Dan and kind of happy to stop defining himself as Nathan the basketball guy. In the long run had Haley never gone on tour but Nathan also not gone to High Flyers, I think it's possible Nathan himself would have began to feel stifled and grown resentful of putting his dreams on hold solely to be a husband. Anyways. I think Haley liked having something all her own independent of Nathan, and the Chris factor and her lack of experience with men prior to Nathan put her in a messy situation. There are multiple episodes where the subtext is that Haley on some level regrets rushing into marriage or has doubts about it (201, 205, 210, 217). I think it's completely understandable for Haley to feel that way. As much as I love them and consider them one of all my time favorite couples, they weren't ready to be married. Nathan and Haley had to learn to be better partners to each other and as the seasons went by, they became more successful. But during season 2, everything was new and more uncertain. So rather than being honest with Nathan about the kiss with Chris and her perspective re: putting her dreams on hold, Haley panicked and kind of internalized everything out of fear of what it all meant or the ramifications of what she'd done.

In regards to your thoughts about Haley craving fame, I don't know that it was really about the fame part as much as it was Haley wanting to pursue music and getting professional validation and fulfillment from performing and having people like her music. Haley says she loved every night of performing and she seemed to be excited about appearing on television, but I wouldn't say it meant much more than that. However, Haley's POV is very vague and confusing following 213. She's only ever shown either in brief phone conversations or when Nathan and Lucas visited her on tour. During 217 in particular, Haley is poorly written. Not because her thoughts and feelings aren't valid, but because the words coming out of her mouth are a piece of forced writing meant to ensure that Nathan and Haley remain separated and that Nathan essentially gives up on their marriage. Haley is not given the chance to explain herself. So as a result, Haley appears selfish and like she cares more about being a rockstar than Nathan's feelings. That's exactly what the writers wanted at the time. The story of Naley's separation and Haley's time on the tour was NEVER about Haley. It was all about Nathan's pain, depression, and his fight through the pain of losing the love of his life. Haley's role on the show was minimized to the point of her becoming a villain for having ambitions and for making mistakes the same as the other characters. It got a little better when Lucas visited Haley because Lucas was close enough to Haley that he truly wanted to understand and was willing to hear her out. So, we got the official explanation that Haley stopped wearing her wedding band because she no longer felt she deserved to wear it. The moment she presumably removes her wedding ring would have been prior to her televised interview. Yet, Haley keeps her ring finger covered up. She compromises herself by denying the marriage while also kind of upholding it? She still refers to herself as Haley James Scott and doesn't officially flaunt the fact she isn't wearing her ring, but she allows Chris to lie about their relationship. I feel like I've completely lost the plot here, but what I mean to say is that I don't take issue with most of Haley's writing in season 2. I simply think she was written by people completely uninterested in her perspective and her journey compared to Nathan's and REALLY lost out on the lack of consistent writing and POV during episodes 214-223.

What would I change about their writing? Well, obviously a lot of season 2 LOL. I think we should have seen Haley's time on the tour. We should have seen her becoming confident and thriving in the spotlight all the while missing Nathan and being heartbroken over what she's been forced to give up in the name of chasing her dreams. It's implied Haley and Chris were good friends during this time. It would have been nice to see the shift from Chris kind of aggressively coming on to Haley to Haley making it clear nothing was ever going to happen between them, and Chris accepting this enough to become Haley's confidant. Beyond that, I would have given Haley more of a backbone during season 3. I think she stood her ground when absolutely necessary, but Nathan also kind of held all the cards for a lot of season 3. His attitude about her Halloween costume for instance was bullshit. He also should have put his damn wedding band back on before they officially became engaged again because they'd been sleeping together for months and were literally living together by that point. What was I supposed to take from that other than Haley hadn't yet earned it? In season 4, I would have liked Nathan and Haley to have gotten an equal focus during her pregnancy. Season 5, I think more should have come out of their separation story line. I loved the episode where they reunited, but it also kind of seemed a little too easy for Nathan. I obviously don't blame him for the majority of what went down with Carrie or her predatory behavior, but the fact he was watching her swim naked was SO sketchy. There were multiple moments throughout the series where the possibility of Nathan cheating on Haley came up and it was always horribly executed. Whether he went through with it or not, it was annoying for Haley to constantly have these physical threats. Like, Haley was beautiful and sexy as hell, and Mark Schwahn was a demon. I also don't feel like Haley doubting Nathan re: Renee in season 7 was needed. That felt like a retread of season 5. Thankfully, it didn't last very long. Otherwise, I honestly don't have any complaints. More often than not, their relationship was well written.

I completely agree that it was unrealistic for all of the main five to basically become superstars. That took some realism away from the show and made the later, adult seasons harder to enjoy because like.. we're watching Nathan and Haley in their big house where a professional football player seriously shows up at their son's birthday party. While the show overall felt grounded for the entirety of the series, those moments detracted from the series as a whole. That being said, I LOVE rockstar Haley, so we'll have to disagree there. It's not that I don't enjoy her as a teacher or someone interested in helping others learn. It's just that teaching was never Haley's dream. It was something she was good at, but it never fulfilled her the same way being a musician did. On that note, it annoys me that the writers felt the need to make Haley smaller to make Nathan look/feel bigger. By season 7, Haley once again was a musician full time. But when Nathan retired from the NBA to become a sports agent, Haley took over Karen's Cafe rather than continuing to perform. Just to be clear, there's nothing wrong with any of these professions. They're not inherently "lesser". It's just that it was written that while being in the NBA was Nathan's dream, Haley's dream was being a singer. Ultimately, I don't think Haley was ever supposed to be super successful even at the height of her career. The potential was there during season 2 and obviously she toured again in season 7, but I never got the impression she ever achieved the same kind of fame that Nathan and Brooke did.

Yeah, I'm of two minds about that. Part of me is like, "Yessss! Naley forever!" When I was watching season 2 for the first time when I was around 12, their teen marriage was couple goals to me. Nathan and Haley are a rare case of two people that settled down young and still managed to live happily ever after. But on the other hand, we see how much of a mistake it was to rush into marriage. When Nathan proposed, he told Haley she was the only true thing he had. He put SO much stock into that marriage. I genuinely think part of the reason he proposed at all was the fear of losing her after that porn fight. Had Haley not wanted to explicitly wait until marriage for sex, I doubt the thought would have occurred to him. Haley let herself get swept away by the romance of young, first love and was a wife before she'd even experienced anything. From a story line standpoint, I love it. But speaking as someone twice their age at the time of the marriage, there were so many reasons why they should have waited.

I don't think I was the one to point that out, but I 100% agree with those points! I always forget how bad Nathan was during the first few episodes of season 1 because he'd grown tremendously by 122. But jesus christ, he was the boyfriend from hell. It really came across like half the time, Nathan used Peyton as a sex toy. He learned a lot of horrible, toxic messages from a young age and was on the path to becoming Dan Scott when Haley came into his life. You're correct that that particular trope is oftentimes really gross and overdone in fiction. Thankfully, I actually think OTH is one of the few shows to get it right. Peyton is never blamed for Nathan's bad behavior or viewed as "lesser" than Haley for being unable to fix Nathan. Their relationship was toxic and they couldn't have been more wrong for each other. Both Nathan and Peyton always stressed how awful their relationship was, and Nathan is thankfully quick to own up to his bad behavior during their relationship. But, you make a good point. Nathan's turnaround from emotionally abusive asshole boyfriend to sweet and patient boyfriend to Haley happened very quickly. Really, everything with Naley in season 1 was pretty rushed and could have used a few more episodes. The pacing is way off. They spent so much time building up to their first "I love you" only to have them married three episodes later. I think the key to Nathan's shift is that originally, I believe the Nathan/Peyton/Lucas triangle was supposed to go on longer. Since that ended up being replaced by the infamous Brooke/Lucas/Peyton triangle, that freed Nathan up to get together with Haley sooner.

You're welcome! I apologize for the length of my answer!

[bloodmaarked]

she's in ctrl: how women can take back tech // anne-marie imafidon

first published: 2022 read: 10 may 2024 – 19 may 2024 pages: 418 format: e-book

genres: non-fiction; STEM (technology, women in STEM); feminism favourite character(s): n/a least favourite character(s): n/a

rating: 🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑 thoughts: let me preface this by saying my rating has much more to do with me being outside the target audience than it does the quality of the book. i added she's in ctrl to my list as i have heard of anne-marie over the years, i think she's hugely inspiring and wanted to hear more from her. i was also lucky enough to hear her talk (about the book and her life) at an event hosted by the trouble club around this time last year, and again it was wonderful hearing about her experiences and her mission to get more (young) women involved in the tech space. the book was a great continuation of this... but i realised i'm not that interested in tech.

the book looks at the past, present and future of tech, and pairs this with achievable ways to begin your own journey into tech, whether that's learning and becoming more engaged, seeking a tech career, or wanting to create your own tech as an entrepreneur or volunteer. in this sense, it was mostly faultless. it was a little repetitive at times, but i really enjoyed learning more about the contributions of women in tech, both past ones that have gone unacknowledged, and of women carving their own spaces in the present day. one thing that was a pet peeve was the arbitrary and repeated substitution of the word 'control' in the text for 'CTRL', which was not a big deal in the scheme of things but it started to bug me quite early on.

because of this, i think she's in ctrl is a great starting place if you are seeking a gateway into the tech space as a woman, and if you can it's probably worth checking out her Stemettes group as well. but i'm not really one to engage that heavily with tech, so i began to lose some interest as i kept reading. i think the book encouraged me to simply be increasingly aware of tech developments that are happening now and that influence our present and our future. and one thing it definitely did was got me to finally start taking lessons to learn python, which had been one of my goals for this year, so thank you anne-marie for giving me that push! who knows, maybe a year from now with python under my belt and this book in my repertoire, my opinions on how i view and enjoy tech will have changed entirely :)

[rachaelwilterdink]

More Great Agile Debates, Part 2

In the second part of my new blog series on "Agile's Great Debates," I cover another set of five topics that people tend to argue about when it comes to agile ways of working. Here they are: - SAFe is an Agile Framework - You Should Show “Not Done” Work at the Sprint Review - The Sprint Review is a Status Update - Agile is the same thing as Scrum - The Sprint Review and Retrospective are the Same

SAFe is an Agile Framework

I know I’ll probably get a few haters when I say this, but NO!, I don’t view SAFe as an agile framework. It’s a bloated, complicated (and bastardized) way of trying to accomplish large and overly complex, integrated work. (Seriously, visit their site and you will instantly see what a mess it is.) As an agile consultant, my recommendation is usually to avoid scaling if at all possible. By attempting to scale, you increase cost and complexity, and the risk of failure is much higher. It’s highly preferable to keep atomic and autonomous agile teams that are small and focused.

However, if you feel you must scale, there are (in my humble opinion), far better options than SAFe. These include Less and my scaled agile framework of choice: Nexus (which was created by the same people who wrote The Scrum Guide).

You Should Show “Not Done” Work at the Sprint Review

Uh, duh – NO! This is a cardinal rule of Scrum. Every team must have an agreed-upon Definition of Done, which is an official artifact in Scrum. And if an item does not meet this definition, it is not “Done,” and therefore should not be shared in a Sprint Review. Unfortunately, there are many Scrum Teams that struggle with this. First off, many lack a Definition of Done, and without one, how does anyone know what “done” looks like? Short answer: they don’t! This means that stories can linger and change, because nobody knows where the boundaries are.

Teams may also be tempted to show things that are “mostly” baked. This usually means that the coding has been done and it’s been passed off to QA for testing, but testing is in progress and hasn’t been completed. Some Scrum Teams cheat to get around this irritating problem by adjusting their Definition of Done so it doesn’t include “QA tests passed without any critical- or high-severity defects.” Try not to be this team. Having a tested, working, useable, demonstratable, and potentially-releasable working increment is the whole point of each Sprint!

The Sprint Review is a Status Update

Honestly, this is one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to agile and Scrum! NO! The Sprint Review is not merely a status update or a demo; this event should be much more than that (and it should replace the dreaded “Status Review Meeting”). The point of the Sprint Review, according to The Scrum Guide is to: “Inspect the outcome of the Sprint and determine future iterations.” Yes, you should show your actual, working increment(s). This should not be a facsimile or a PowerPoint. Not only that, but the Developers should lead this event. They did the hard work of building the backlog items, and they deserve to get the recognition and credit that comes along with delivering. The second, and very important part, of the Sprint Review is to come up with a plan for future iterations. In my experience, the Product Owner has a general idea of what is wanted in the next Sprint or two, and shares this plan with the audience. However, based on stakeholder feedback, that tentative plan may change to accommodate new user requests. At the end of the Sprint Review, the expected outcome is an updated Product Backlog that serves as the input to the next Spring Planning event.

Agile is the same thing as Scrum

There is a widespread and common misunderstanding between agile and Scrum. This occurs because the Scrum Framework is far and away the most popular of agile approaches, but it’s definitely not the only one. Nor is agile synonymous with Scrum. The way I describe this concept when training new Scrum Teams is that agile is a mindset, an umbrella that covers all the various aspects of different agile approaches. All the different “flavors” of agile, therefore, are agile, but they are not agile itself.

To better understand what agile is, the best resource (in my humble opinion) is the original Agile Manifesto, which was famously penned by a group of frustrated software developers who met in Park City, Utah, at a ski resort in my wonderful home state of Utah in 2001. My first child was born the same year, making the document 22 years old, which is relatively new in the grand scheme of technology. In the Agile Manifesto, there are things that are valued more than others (which is not to say the other things don’t have any value). It also includes 12 core principles. Although agile has evolved past software development, the same ideas still apply to other contexts.

The Sprint Review and Retro are the Same

As an agile trainer and coach (Scrum specifically), I have seen that the two Scrum events that are most often confused, are the Sprint Review and Sprint Retrospective. I don’t quite understand why there is so much confusion, but my experience has proved it time and time again. To clarify, NO, these two events are not the same thing. Each has its own purpose and audience, along with expected outcomes. The goal of the Sprint Review is to: “Inspect the outcome of the Sprint and determine future iterations.” In contrast with the Sprint Review, the Sprint Retrospective is only for the Scrum Team, without any outside or extra participants (including managers). The point of this event is to embrace the empirical process of inspecting and adapting. It allows the team to honestly look back at the Sprint and identify opportunities for improvement. So, as you can see – the Sprint Review and Retrospective are two totally separate events, with totally different purposes. I hope this clears up any confusion!

Final Thoughts

This blog covered five more ways agile concepts and practices are misunderstood. To recap: try not to scale if you can avoid it, make sure your team has a Definition of Done, only show "done" work at the Sprint Review, which is a separate event with a different purpose than the Retrospective. Finally, agile is a mindset - Scrum is an agile framework. Now, as always - it's your turn! What do you think about these debate topics? Do you have any differing opinions or experiences? If so, I would love to hear about them in the comments below! Oh, and P.S. - if you missed the first blog in this series, you can find it here: - Part 1 - Devs as Sub-team, the 3 questions, product goal, refinement, hybrids Check back for more great debates soon! Read the full article

[bbangsoonie]

goal: your heart

member: sunwoo genre: fluff word count: 5,423 synopsis: due to a budget cut, you have to follow the soccer team around for both the school newspaper and yearbook despite knowing nothing about sports. before you know it, you find yourself warming up to the team’s star player, who you swore was the most annoying and arrogant person ever.

a/n: this is a part of the star player collab with @atbzkingdom​ for sunwoo’s birthday! (also, this will be written with the american academic calander in mind)

You knew exactly what you were doing. You were the top student of both your class and school and the leader of many clubs. Your college application was full of achievements and your essay exquisitely written. The only problem? You had no idea what to do after graduation. You didn’t know where you wanted to go or what you wanted to study.

Growing up, everyone told you that you’d eventually find something you love. By senior year, you thought you would at least have an idea by now.

But nope, you were even more lost if anything. Dream job? That was just a capitalistic lie meant to make people happy to slave away for money.

Grumbling, you listened as your friends rambled on about the campuses they visited. It was only the first day back and everyone was already obsessing over one thing and one thing only.

“Y/n, you’re so lucky,” Juyeon pouted. “You don’t have to worry about getting into a university. Your stats are literally perfect.”

“I have other things to stress over,” you groaned. “At least you know what you wanna pursue.”

“Y/n has other things to worry about. She’s about to graduate without ever finding love,” Younghoon teased.

“It’s all our fault,” Jaehyun squinted as he pinched his nose bridge. “We raised her standards too high. I’m sorry, Y/n, that I can’t take responsibility.”

The notebook in your hand threatened to fly over to his seat. Luckily for him, he was saved by Juyeon’s very unnatural attempt at changing the subject. He inquired about the school newspaper that was barely spared in a major budget cut last year.

Thinking about it made you sigh. You had poured in so much effort over the years for the paper and it was almost taken from you. The school was cutting funds for a lot of clubs and diverting the money to the many sports teams that brought home trophies.

A part of the negotiations to save the newspaper club was to feature more sports events and student athletes in order to garner support for the teams. You weren’t pleased with the decision. Your plate was already full without trying to inflate the ego of players who had a god superiority complex. Jaehyun was a great example of the type of jock you didn’t want to raise on a high pedestal.

You had also promised Kevin, the president of the yearbook committee, to help out with photographing games since you had to attend them anyway. Despite the many tasks assigned to you, you were relieved that you could spend your last year continuing to write articles.

“Does that mean you’ll get to come to practice with us? The basketball team is always on my ass about introducing them to you. Now I can finally stop being pestered to be the middleman,” Jaehyun grinned.

“No shot,” Younghoon shook his head. “My swim team has already tried but Y/n puts up a cold front.”

“Hey, I’m a delicately guarded rose with sharp thorns,” you joked, making Jaehyun pretend to gag. This time, the notebook hit his arm.

“No one is good enough for our Y/n,” Juyeon defended. You turned around to coo at him and said something about him being the only nice one as Younghoon guffawed.

The first day of soccer practice meant you had to stay behind after dismissal to meet the team. The coach introduced you to the players and beamed when he got to the last one.

“This is our ace, Sunwoo. Although I’m sure you know that already,” he said proudly.

To be honest, you had no idea who he was. The school was too big to know everyone and you had absolutely no interest in sports. You rarely even went to Juyeon and Jaehyun’s basketball games and Younghoon’s swim meets.

Not wanting to offend anyone, you simply smiled. Sunwoo, catching your hesitance, raised a brow. However, he kept quiet until he approached you during one of his breaks.

“Do you really not know me?” he asked as he took a seat next to you on the bleachers.

Surprised by his sudden question, you blankly stared at the boy in front of you. Sweat was dripping from his hair but he paid it no attention as he chugged an entire water bottle.

“How cocky are you?” you scoffed.

“You really don’t know our soccer team’s star player, Kim Sunwoo?” he gaped.

“Sorry to disappoint but I really don’t care or know much about soccer. Or any other sports for that matter,” you shrugged.

“You’re going to write about the soccer team… when you don’t even know who we are or what we’re doing?” he asked incredulously.

“That’s why I’m here to observe,” you snapped back.

Finding you amusing, he finally wiped away his sweat as the coach blew his whistle to gather the players again.

Sunwoo always gave it his best but for some reason he found himself practicing extra hard that day. Knowing your eyes were on him motivated him to show off his skills by annoying his teammates and stealing the spotlight. After his third goal in a row, he looked at you to see your reaction but was baffled to see you busy writing something down.

Frustrated and peeved, he kicked at the grass with a huff.

When practice came to an end, he snuck up behind you to see what you were so intently focused on. Reading the notes on your notebook, he hummed.

“So that’s what you were doing instead of watching me,” he mused.

You were listing physical traits and personality attributes of each player. He scanned the paper for his name and frowned when he saw what you wrote about him.

“Arrogant and conceited? That’s all you have to say about me?” he whined.

“What? It’s true,” you deadpanned.

“Haknyeon gets “tall, bubbly, and extroverted” but I get “arrogant and conceited”? That’s not fair. This is biased journalism!” he exclaimed.

Realizing that practice was over, you gathered your belongings and stood up to leave. With his cheeks puffed, he watched as you left the field. You were unlike any person he had ever encountered.

“Sunwoo? Kim Sunwoo?” Younghoon repeated with his eyes wide. “The soccer caption Kim Sunwoo?”

Jaehyun and Juyeon’s chopsticks froze midair in shock. Finding their reactions odd, you nodded as you took another bite of your lunch.

“I can’t believe the lady killer got rejected by the man hater,” Jaehyun broke out into a fit of laughter.

“Now that’s a title I’d like to see on the school newspaper,” Younghoon snickered.

“Okay, first of all, I did not reject him because he did not come on to me,” you rolled your eyes. “Secondly, who the hell is he anyway? Why do you all know him?”

“He’s notorious for his fuckboy image. Although I think that’s an exaggerated reputation,” Juyeon said you picked out all the vegetables from your plate. He willingly moved them to his own and you smiled gratefully in response.

“So my first impression of him was correct,” you said.

“He’s not that bad. He’s actually pretty cool. Rumors don’t do the sweet guy justice,” Juyeon explained.

“Our lovely Juyeon sees the good in everyone,” Younghoon gushed as he pet his friend, earning him a smack on the back of his head.

“We were partners for a history project,” Juyeon clarified. “I got to know him a bit and he’s a good guy. Just enjoys attention a little too much. Like Jaehyun.”

Weirdly offended, Jaehyun scowled. You shrugged it off, returning your attention back to your food. You had no intentions of getting to know Sunwoo anyway. At least, that was the plan until he bombarded you in the hallway while you were walking to class.

He blocked your path with that irritating smirk on his face. Exasperated, you asked him what he wanted.

“So I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday,” he started.

“Oh, so you do think?”

“Hey!”

“Do you think you can move and get out of my way?”

“Anyway, as the president of the newspaper club who’s in charge of covering the soccer team, I think you lack way too much information about the sport. And our school’s players.”

“How do you know I’m the president?”

“I asked around.”

You look at his eyes, trying to peer through any ulterior motives. He was being suspiciously generous. But he wasn’t entirely wrong. Even you thought it was ridiculous that a person who didn’t know a thing about soccer had to write articles about it.

You were also aware that any interviews with the athletes would be surface level stuff that all the students probably already knew. You were the only one out of the loop.

You pursed your lips, annoyed that he was right. Realizing that you were in agreeance, Sunwoo grinned.

“I am offering you the very special privilege to follow me around and learn everything there is to know about the team. For the paper of course,” he quickly added the last part after seeing the look on your face. “I can teach you about both soccer and my teammates.”

After pondering his proposal, you finally nodded.

“Deal,” you eyed his happy expression. “What do you want in return?”

He was taken aback by your question. He hadn’t expected you to assume that he would demand compensation. Your presence and attention were what he was after in the first place. However, he couldn’t let the opportunity pass by.

“Bubble tea,” he declared after some thought. “You can treat me to bubble tea after practice and I can tutor you then.”

“Fine,” you sighed before pushing him aside to make it to class before the bell rang. He was left behind with a stupid smile on his face.

The first tutoring session was extremely awkward for you. You weren’t used to hanging out with guys other than Juyeon, Younghoon, and Jaehyun. They were the only members of the male species you didn’t despise. This riled up Sunwoo’s competitive side. He was determined to get close to you.

He couldn’t stand having someone not like him. He was used to being on friendly terms with everyone—including teachers and even wallflowers. He had a strong desire to receive acknowledgement from everyone.

Perhaps that was why so many girls fell for him.

Nevertheless, the wall around you remained thick and high. Just as he was well known for his playboy persona, you were infamous for never letting guys in. You cold heartedly turned down any and every guy who asked you out. And there had been a lot.

Sunwoo, on the other hand, was excited to spend time with you. Bubble tea was just an excuse to meet you outside of school grounds.

His phone dinged, notifying him of a text. Haknyeon had sent him a screenshot of a post made on the school’s gossip page and wrote “this you?”. He snorted at the content speculating his relationship status after supposedly receiving another confession and rolled his eyes. Curious, you asked him what he was looking at.

“Ah, it’s nothing,” he shook his head as he put the device away. “Just the stupid tea account.”

“Oh you mean that anonymously run social media page that popped up over summer break?” you frowned.

You hated everything about it. It spread rumors, without fact-checking, and started drama. It resulted in both a breakup and the end of a friendship in the span of two months. It was exactly what you and the school newspaper stood against.

Nothing could be done to stop the false information and invasion of privacy because it wasn’t officially affiliated with the school and the students continued to feed into it. People even sent in stories to be posted.

“So tell me what you do know about soccer,” he leaned in and propped his chin on the palms of his hands.

“I know the very basics from catching glimpses of the World Cup,” you leaned back on your chair, making him pout.

“Well, to be honest, explaining the rules is a lot easier to do when directly pointing things out during a game. There’s a match airing tonight. Do you want to come over and watch it with me?” he asked expectantly.

“We can watch the replay tomorrow during study hall,” you said.

“Then we can start by talking about me today,” he chirped. “My squad number is 19 because 9 is usually worn by centre forwards but I wanted to be special and added a 1 in front of it. I’m the centre forward, which is the main striker. That means playing offensive is my main objective. Which is why I’m the highest scorer on the team.”

You wanted to wipe the smug look off his face. It irked you how he so easily bragged about himself.

“I also really like movies and can play the guitar. A true all-rounder and romanticist,” he smiled.

He continued to reveal fun facts about himself for another half an hour. It was only at the end that you realized most of it was useless when writing for the paper. You groaned, realizing you had fallen for his trap.

Still, you learned some things about soccer and his position in the team. Following him to the cafe hadn’t been a complete waste of your time.

The next day, Sunwoo hunted you down to make sure you kept your promise about watching the game together. He dragged you to the computer room during study hall and pulled out the earbuds he prepared. He had purposely rummaged through his drawers the night before to the share wired ones with you.

You had to admit he was extremely helpful when explaining the rules and strategies of soccer. Despite being uncomfortable with the proximity of his body to yours, he was a great teacher. He made everything sound so simple. After you began to understand the game, you even found yourself enjoying the match.

After spending a week with him, you hated that you couldn’t say you still disliked him. After all, you two met almost every day for hours.

You had a gut feeling that you would come to regret it and were proven right. You had a bad feeling the moment you saw Jaehyun run up to you as if his life depended on it. Panting, he barely pulled himself together to show you the post that made him immediately report to you.

“KSW and Y/INITIALS seen cozily spending time together. Will he be the one to finally break through her?” you read aloud.

A photo of your backs from the computer room and a mosaicked side shot of you two at the cafe were attached to the title. The comments under the post were even more ridiculous.

“A challenge to be anticipated.”

“Poor girl will only end up as one of his many heartbroken playthings.”

“I know who KSW is. Who’s Y/INITIALS??”

“The legendary man hater? With a guy?? Wow how good must he be 👀”

“Damn so she rejected me for him?”

Your blood boiled and you shoved the phone away. Trying to calm yourself down, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. And failed.

“What is this, fucking Dispatch?” you exploded. A few students passing by stared at your outburst and widened their eyes when they saw that it was you. You sighed, knowing that the whole school saw the post.

“I’m not a celebrity! Why are people so invested in fake rumors about me?” you yelled, trying to keep your voice to a whisper as you pulled Jaehyun into an empty classroom.

“I’m sure it’ll blow over,” he assured.

“If I ever find out who the admin of this page is, I will ruin them,” you glowered.

You almost didn’t go to the soccer practice that day. But you knew that avoiding him would only add fuel to the fire so you sucked it up and went to the field after school as usual. You heard the hushed murmurs that stirred among the team when you arrived and you wanted to turn back around and leave.

Before you could, however, Sunwoo appeared and shut everyone up with a warning glare. He announced that the coach would be late and to start by running laps.

You were more annoyed than upset about the post. It just stupefied you that people really had nothing better to do than gossip about you. You didn’t think you were that interesting.

You were so close to escaping after practice but Sunwoo caught you trying to sneak away. He stood in front of you, crossing his arms as if to ask where you were going. Giving up, you muttered a “fine” and waited for him to change out of his uniform.

This time, you two wordlessly agreed to go to a different cafe. With the bubble teas on the table in front of you, you sat in silence until Sunwoo finally spoke up.

“Don’t mind what the post or others say,” he huffed.

“I’m not too bothered by it,” you shrugged.

“Good. Because I want to get to know you as just Y/n and Sunwoo. Through whatever you wish to tell and show me. I feel like we’re always just talking about me.”

His words left you speechless. Juyeon hadn’t been kidding when he mentioned how thoughtful Sunwoo was. You felt your heart warm as you smiled.

“Well what do you want to know about me?” you asked.

“Anything. Everything.”

So you spilled about your interests, hobbies, and goals. It was strange. Although it hadn’t been long since you met him, you felt comfortable around him. He made you feel at ease and you didn’t think twice about opening up to him.

You told him about your struggles as a high achieving student. About the pressure you felt and how embarrassing it was to tell people that you didn’t have any dreams.

With your grades, all the teachers expected you to apply to medical school. On the other hand, your parents encouraged you to work towards a high paying and stable salary as a corporation employee. Your friends suggested that you go for something in journalism because of your passion and commitment to the school newspaper.

But the club was just something you did for fun. You didn’t know if you liked it enough to pursue it as a career.

Sunwoo listened attentively as you went on about your concerns. From the outside, you looked like you had your life together. You were the perfect student and the girl that many guys chased after. But as he spent more time with you, it became clear that you were very uncomfortable with boys.

“Can I ask how you got so close with the Bermuda line?” he asked.

“The Bermuda line? What’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the term? Juyeon, Jaehyun, and Younghoon are called the Bermuda line because they’re the most popular athletes out of all the sports teams. The girls say that once you fall for them, you’re stuck in between them forever because you can’t get out.”

You hadn’t laughed that hard in so long. You knew they had fans but found it hilarious how the trio even had a nickname.

“Oh man, I can’t wait to make fun of them for this,” you laughed, nearly in tears.

When he told you that they actually took great pride in the title, you bursted out in laughter again. Their self love truly was on another level.

“So how’d you end up friends?” he asked again.

“Juyeon, I’ve known since middle school. We were in the same class for all three years. Jaehyun didn’t go to the same school as us but he was friends with Juyeon because they played basketball together. I met him and Younghoon at the end of freshman year. They kinda crash landed into my life but we really clicked so that’s why I still bless them with my friendship.”

Sunwoo giggled at your own overwhelming confidence. He loved that you never sold yourself short. He didn’t notice he had been staring at you until you pointed it out. Blushing, he insisted that it was nothing and took another sip of his bubble tea.

Two months passed by and you eventually came to call Sunwoo a friend. Younghoon teased you about him being more than a friend and at first, you thought he was crazy. But with him planting the idea in your head, you began to question your own feelings. Cursing Younghoon, you blamed him for confusing you.

As the designated photographer, you tagged along to the soccer team’s last match. The entire team was nervous as it would determine the winner of the tournament. Even Sunwoo was anxious.

Before the game started, you offered him a supportive smile and he felt all worries lifted off his shoulders. He erased all thoughts of winning and losing and just concentrated on the ball. He wanted to enjoy the last match of the season and look cool in front of you. That was all that mattered to him.

Fortunately, he got both plus the win. The crowd erupted into cheers as he scored the winning goal just seconds before the whistle was blown to signal the end of the game. His knees fell to the ground and his teammates rushed to surround him.

Seeing how happy he looked brought a smile to your lips. He jumped up and scanned the bleachers for your face. When he finally spotted you, he broke away from his team to run up to you and embrace you in a giant hug.

Caught off guard, you froze as his teammates hooted and applauded. You felt your cheeks heat up at the attention.

“Congratulations,” you chuckled, patting his back. “You did well.”

“Did you get a lot of pretty pictures of me?” he grinned, pulling away to look at you.

“No, I only took pictures of Haknyeon,” you joked. By now, he was used to your teasing and simply ruffled your hair in response.

“There’s gonna be an after party tonight,” he brought up carefully. “I’d really like it if you came. Only if you’re okay with that type of scene though.”

Surprised, you nodded before you fully thought it through.

That was how you ended up moping at Jaehyun’s house. The invitation was extended to the Bermuda line as well and they were all planning on dragging you there. Younghoon was excited at the thought of finally going to a party with the whole group and Juyeon was picking out an outfit for you from Jaehyun’s sister’s closet.

“I don’t know if I trust your fashion sense,” she made a face at the top he held up.

This was your first party and you weren’t sure how you felt about it. There was a reason you hadn’t gone to one throughout your high school years.

Nonetheless, you were dressed up in an outfit that definitely reflected Jaehyun’s sister’s style more than yours. She fawned over how pretty you were and urged you to go with the boys.

So you walked through the doors and into the house vibrating with music. Everyone who recognized you was shocked to see you there. Feeling awkward, you stuck by Jaehyun’s side as you maneuvered around the throng of people. When he finally caught sight of Sunwoo, he dipped and left you alone with him.

“Thanks for coming,” he shouted over the loud music.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you shouted back.

Sunwoo offered you a drink, which you declined. Following your choice, he opted for a soda instead as well. You weren’t much of a dancer so you enjoyed people watching instead. It was fascinating to see your classmates have so much fun.

You giggled when you saw Juyeon be so painfully oblivious to a girl’s advances and walked away to dance with Younghoon. Meanwhile, Jaehyun was having the time of his life flirting with girls. You blocked your eyesight when you saw him leaning in to kiss one of them.

“Ugh, gross,” you cringed. “I do not need to know this side of my best friend’s love life.”

Laughing, Sunwoo offered to take you outside for some fresh air and a change of scenery. You gladly agreed and let him guide you to the backyard.

The night sky was full of tranquility that contrasted the chaos that ensued indoors. You sat on the grass and Sunwoo joined next to you.

“You look beautiful today,” he commented.

“Only today?” you laughed.

“Especially today,” he answered in a serious manner. His sincerity made you clear your throat and look away. He stunned you by cupping your face with his hands.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Are you drunk?” you blinked.

“I haven’t had a single sip of alcohol.”

His voice was slow and raspy. Your heart was beating faster than you wanted it to and you knew the corners of your lips were betraying you.

“You can either lean in or pull away,” he said as he brought his lips closer to yours.

Your heart now felt like it was about to jump out of your chest. Red alarms were going off in your head and you didn’t know what to do. All you knew was what you were only a few centimeters away from kissing Sunwoo.

So you did what any insane person would do and closed the gap between your lips. You wanted to punch him when you felt him smirk but he pulled you closer and held onto you tightly.

The weekend passed without much changes in your relationship with Sunwoo. You were worried that you had either ruined your friendship or that he was sick of you but Juyeon reassured you that he probably wanted to talk about it in person. Anxiously, you overthought things until Monday finally arrived.

Wanting to keep yourself busy until you met Sunwoo, you stopped by the club room early in the morning to import the photos from the last game. Shortly after you connected the camera to the computer, you heard a knock on the door.

Startled, you looked at the door and saw Jacob sheepishly poking his head through the door. You told him to come in and he took a seat next to you.

“Kevin told me to drop by before class for an interview,” he said. You nearly facepalmed. You had completely forgotten about that. You were supposed to interview him for the paper.

“Oh yeah! Hold on, let me go get my notebook,” you searched through your backpack to find it.

The volleyball player was this month’s star of the month and you had to write a piece on his past achievements. He was extremely kind and was careful not to use any advanced sports terminology to make sure anyone could easily read the interview, which you were grateful for.

Before you parted, he gave you a side hug out of habit and apologized when he realized that it was only his first time meeting you. You laughed it off and insisted that now you could be friends since you two hugged already. Relieved that you weren’t disturbed, he happily waved goodbye to you as he walked away.

Being in a different class than Sunwoo meant that you had to wait until lunch period to see him. You honestly didn’t even know if you wanted to see him. You weren’t ready to face him yet.

When the bell finally rang and it was time for lunch, Juyeon forced you to go to the cafeteria instead of hiding out in an empty classroom. The moment you sat down with your tray, however, you felt all eyes on you. Your stomach dropped, knowing it couldn’t be good news.

“Y/n, is this true..?” Jaehyun asked, showing you the new post on the gossip page. You hated that you were always right about bad intuitions.

KSW and Y/INITIALS caught making out at last night’s party… is BJY a side hoe?

You had no idea when a photo was taken in the brief second you and Jacob hugged that morning. When you scrolled and saw the next part, your heart dropped.

A shocking revelation of history: Y/INITIALS and SYJ used to date in freshman year. Does this have anything to do with the swimmer and basketball players always next to her?

You felt your breath caught in your throat as you read through the comments.

“Isn’t BJY on the volleyball team and SYJ on the baseball team?”

“Wow she clearly has a type.”

“I guess athletes just hit it well 👀”

“And here I thought KSW was the hoe… who’s playing with who?”

“Aye so KSW finally managed to break through her. Thanks for my $10 bro.”

“Aren’t the basketball players LJY and LJH? And the swimmer KYH? The Bermuda line, right?? I always thought she had a thing with one of them.”

“So much for the icy Y/INITIALS. She was acting all pretentious when she was already having all her fun.”

Juyeon grabbed the phone out of your hands and glared at Jaehyun. You never thought your past relationship would ever get exposed. There were only a handful of people who knew about it and it had stayed hidden under the rug up until now. It was something you wanted to bury and never think about ever again.

Shakily, you got up and ran out of the cafeteria with Younghoon calling out after you. You ran as fast as you could. You didn’t stop until you busted through the doors and collapsed on the rooftop. Your lungs were on fire and you closed your eyes to stop the ringing in your ears.

Meanwhile, Sunwoo was running across the school to find you. When he didn’t see you in the club room, he changed his target and sought out Eric.

“Is it true?” he demanded when he finally saw his friend.

“I can’t believe people already figured out that it’s me,” Eric sighed.

“Is it true?” Sunwoo repeated.

“Yes, yes, it’s true,” he answered with his hands up in defeat. “She never wanted anyone to find out. We didn’t exactly end on good terms. It’s something I’m not proud of.”

“What happened?” he asked, trying to contain his anger. “What did you do to her?”

“I…” Eric trailed off. “I cheated on her.”

“What the hell, Eric?” Sunwoo yelled.

“I-I was stupid! And young. It’s the biggest mistake I made in my life,” he admitted.

Frustrated, Sunwoo left and ran off in search of you again. When you weren’t anywhere to be found, he checked the rooftop as a last resort. He didn’t expect to actually see you there.

“Y/n,” he breathed. You felt a lump form in your throat. It was the first time he had addressed you by your name.

“Get away from me,” you glared. “Was I nothing but a bet to you? Was I just a challenge for you to win?”

“Y/n, I never placed bets on you. I don’t know what other people have been betting on but I have always been genuine with you,” he affirmed.

You refused to let your tears fall. There was no way Kim Sunwoo was going to see you cry.

“I like you,” he confessed. “I like you a lot. I meant to say this that night but got too flustered. So I wanted to tell you today. Whenever I see you, the butterflies in my stomach won’t go away. When I don’t see you, I miss you like crazy. You inspire me to become a better person and all I want to do is hold you and call you mine.”

And now Kim Sunwoo has officially seen you cry. He bent down to wrap his arms around you as you sobbed into his shoulder.

“You’re an asshole,” you mumbled after you calmed down.

“I think you mean the opposite,” he chuckled. “Whatever barriers you put up to protect yourself, I’m going to take them down one by one. With you. Together.”

“Who said I’m helping?” you muttered.

“Then I guess I have to work twice as hard to prove myself,” he softly smiled.

“This is embarrassing,” you groaned.

“This will only be embarrassing for me if you reject me,” his hand reached out to the nape of his neck. “So what do you say? Will you go out with me?”

“I’ll think about it,” you huffed, prompting a chuckle from him.

[arrthurpendragon]

Hello,

My name is Esther Jean Tyler. This post is for: OC creation spotlight and introduction. I wish there is an edit button for Tumblr in the Ask area for reals.

I'm the writer for "Stand By Me", "Rogue Alliance" and "Until Death Do Us Apart" for all Transformers series. I'm an OC writer. A crossover writer. I do love Avengers. I love crossover Avengers as well and X-Men included. I'm a big fan of Marvels as well. Consider me as a crossover writer.

{Stand by Me will be mentioned strongly with the Avengers. A lot of background changes just FYI on that. One of the most darkest fic I will ever write in history. }

{book cover is created by Kass for me 💜🥰😍}

Favourite OCs writing cups have been: Victoria Valorheart, Esther Tseo and Ariella Illonois. I enjoy writing and reading: hurt/comfort, angst and dark themes.

I also created a very dark OC Jadis Sybill Astrophe. She will be a villain character in Chapter four Stand By Me Transformers and one of the favourite characters I enjoyed creating for background.

I am indeed on wattpad. But I'm not frequent as I am on Fanfiction and Tumblr.

To find out more about me, hit my Tumblr: MrsTransformersFanfiction.

My Wattpad is: TorianScriber2012.

A fair bit of dark themes I might add. I enjoy writing mature contents, a dark settings and NC17 sometimes. I can be a very dark writer myself so if you don't like darkness. I'm probably not the cup of writer for you.

I used to be a former roleplay writer. But I quit a long time ago and now write only for Fanfiction. You can find me: @TorianScriber2012 fanfiction

https://www.fanfiction.net/~torianscriber2012 and @MrsTransformersFanfiction archive of our own ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsTransformersFanfiction

I am trying to promote also my stories and to get out of the community, to see more creative writers, to see more crossover writers and sometimes I will asked request to write a fanfiction for Transformers. I am looking for Transformers writers.

So if you write Ironhide, I'm going to die. If you write William Lennox and a fair bit of twist, I'm going to go crazy! I am looking for any also Transformers fanfiction buddies, very intrigue on any writers who writes a Dreadwing fanfiction connection going on. Allow me to write a request from awesome fanfiction. This is why we need great writers because sometimes I don't have time to even finish my own fanfiction due to real life. I adore all the fallen bots.

I am also looking for crossovers with Hawaii Five-0s in that fandoms or NCIS Los Angeles fandoms. So I may be the one who may be annoying writer that may request once a blue moon. Well, fair note, I don't annoy people. It's usually the other way around. 😂📚✍️ But I look for rare gem fanfiction.

All I asked is: respect. We don't have to like each other's stories but allow others to spread their creativity. HOWEVER, if you are a crossover writer like me, I am seeking crossover fanfiction writers who writes for a particular fandoms. Sometimes I do look for Once Upon a Time crossovers as well if I'm in the mood. Lately my mood is in Marvels.

I'm also looking for some Ironhide x OC fics or William Lennox fics too. You really don't see many of them around. So I decided to write for them. Anyway, that's it.

Thanks love. A fair warning a lot of chapters will be really dark. Don't say I didn't warn you. Feel like I'm torturing a bit of my OC character. I feel so evil tonight. Fanfiction buddies welcome. Note: I really don't follow Roleplayer writers. I quit that area for a reason and doesn't bode well with my mental health. Mental health comes first always. Don't get offended if I become picky for a reason. I'm very introvert awkward person.

What I'm looking for in the community: very open to ideas, be open to dark themes or all themes, feedback and crossover writers. Being respect and not copying one another is one of my pet peeves as well.

I look forward to seeing you all. Thank you, Kass for allowing fun and creation for OCs writers. I don't mind fanfiction buddies. I use to be on a writing community on Fanfiction before I decided to take a year off for personal reasons.

Have a great week. Bye!

✍️📚

Spotlight Masterlist

[redthreadoffate]

lucky number | j.b.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @trumpkinhotboy​!!!!

one shot — lucky number [3.5k] | g

description  —  jacob black x gender neutral!reader

description  —  you find a number on a piece of paper and begin texting with a guy named jacob, while hanging out with another person also named jacob 

genre — fluff 

warnings — some mistakes here and there. totally au.

a/n — i do not know much about twilight and when i started this i only knew less than 1/4 of it. but i knew ilya loves jacob so i thought, “this is fanfiction, i can do whatever i want”, and so here it is! i know it isn’t the best but i still super hope you like it! sorry this is a little late.

masterlist

“I think I’m in love with you, and it scares the crap out of me.”

Time would constantly pass by, but hey, is that not what time is supposed to do? Unfortunately for you, life was not as exciting as compared to others. Aside from grad school, you rarely went out; but you did still have friends who would ask you to accompany them. Seldom did you decline, it was nice to have people you can hang out with. Those were the times you thought life was actually not as boring as you thought it would be.

You were also a volunteer at your local library. And although it was not exciting, it still made you feel like you had something going on for you. You liked reading. And you admit that you would read more books if you had not been lazing around and pretending you had nothing better to do. …yep, there it is again. Confessing that you would slack off when you could really be doing something productive aside from doing schoolwork.

Yes, you were a diligent student and if you were not so humble you could say you were the best in class, or maybe a tie with another one. Depends. You have been getting absolutely great grades.

An ordinary day for you involved school and the library. Just like today. Once you were done, you left the campus and dashed to the library. It was a gloomy day and you hoped to reach the building in time, you left your umbrella there the day before.

Thankfully, the rain started to pour when you arrived. You sighed in relief and headed for the lounge where you would keep your belongings. You picked out your nameplate and attached it to your shirt before exiting the room and thus you began your work.

It was a pretty slow day. There were not many people visiting and you supposed it was because of the rain. But like usual, there were still those who had left their borrowed books lying on the table or returning them on the shelves but not in their rightful places. That was a big pet peeve of yours.

You picked up a few books and began to sort them. You brought each of them to their proper places and only had one left when you saw it. A piece of paper sticking out of a book by the corner of the shelf you were fixing.

It was probably just a note that someone had left while researching. But out of curiosity, you took the book from its spot and plucked the paper from the top.

‘I’m not a creeper, but I’ve been watching you from afar and just too chicken to come and say hi. Here’s my number if you ever want to hang out or something. I’m Jacob, by the way.’ And underneath was a cellphone number.

You giggled. It was kind of weird to be introducing yourself this way. ‘But if that’s how they roll.’ You shrugged and was about to tear the paper, which was tanning and ripped in some areas, but you stopped and looked down at the number again. It did not seem like an ancient parcel, maybe just a few months. How could you have missed this?

You groaned. “I can’t believe I’m gonna do this,” you muttered under your breath. You placed the paper inside your pocket and continued on with the rest of your shift.

Once you have reached your apartment, you dropped your bag on the floor and laid on the couch. The piece of paper was in between your index and middle fingers and you twirled it from side to side.

You took out your phone and texted. ‘Jacob?’

You waited for a minute before deducing that he had probably changed his number or was not interested in entertaining an unknown caller.

But just as you put down the paper, your phone dinged, signaling a new message. ‘Yes? Who is this?’

You read the message a few more times. You cannot be very sure that this really is the Jacob from the paper but you decided “why not?”, after all, you were not looking for anything serious, just got to be careful about what to say.

‘My name’s Y/N. I found your note in between pages of a book from the library.’ Send.

‘Hahaha! I guess that means she never saw it then. Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Y/N. You got any plans for tonight?’

It was surprisingly easy to get along with him. You were still in the getting to know you stage but it was hopefully the start of a new friendship.

Sometime later, you began to feel sleepy and so you bid Jacob goodnight, put on a clean set of clothes, and crawled into bed.

It has been a few days and you were honestly surprised that you and Jacob were still messaging each other. Not that you were against it, it was just quite...well, you were not expecting it at all. But you have to admit that you enjoyed talking to him.

You both agreed that they would not be stalking each other’s social media account, no exchanging of photos, not even any voice phone conversation. It was just a casual friendship, there was no need to get attached.

So you did not even think twice when a young, very handsome man with raven-black hair and deep dark brown eyes introduced himself to you in the library. “I’m looking for the history section,” he said.

“The fourth aisle to your left,” you replied nonchalantly.

“Thanks.” He smiled. You expected him to walk away but instead, he stayed rooted on his spot. You gave him an awkward smile. “I’m Jacob. I’m not exactly new here but it’s been a while. I noticed that everything’s different now. I use to come by here often.”

You were wondering why he was telling you an anecdote. “Oh, I see. I hope the arrangement, well, rearrangement, doesn’t bother you. I know how people sometimes like the way things were when they left and then come back.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled. “I can be like that but this time, it’s not exactly a bad thing. I browsed through the shelves, I think they look better than they were before. But I only looked at the old history section. It’s a children’s area now, isn’t it?” You nodded as he spoke. “That makes sense, I guess.”

You let out a half-suppressed laugh. “I suppose so.” You smiled again.

“I’m Jacob,” he repeated.

You scrunched half of your face. “Yeah, you said so earlier.” Then your face immediately fell when you realized how that sounded. “I mean, you’ve introduced yourself earlier.” You gave a nervous chuckle. “I’m Y/N,” you said. You tilted your head down to gesture at your nameplate.

“Your name suits you. Y/N. Go figure.”

You giggled and cast your eyes down. “Well,” you began, raising your eyebrows then looked up at him once again. “I better get back to work. I’ll bring you to the aisle, I’m heading there anyway. It isn’t that far.”

“Great.”

You and Jacob reached the shelves and you left him to attend to your sorting of books. You could not help but admire his face and physique. He was very devilishly good-looking, who would erase him from their mind right away? Surely no one. He seemed to have had that effect. And you were pretty sure he knew.

You heard your phone ding and you placed the books you were holding down on a table to see the message. You smiled and saw that it was from Jacob (text mate). ‘You done with work? It’s way past your bedtime.’

You replied, ‘Haha. I’m working overtime today. I need the extra money to buy a new shirt I’ve been eyeing. Nothing to fancy but it has an effect on me.’

‘Must be a damn good shirt then.’

‘Oh, it IS. But anyway, I got to get back to work. Talk to you later?’

‘Definitely.’

You smiled and went back to sorting.

Later that day, as you were about to head home, you passed by Jacob (person) once again. There was now a tiny bit of hope that both Jacobs were the same person, but you let it go. You and Jacob (text mate) had assured each other of both your credibility. There was a point wherein you did question if he was telling the truth or not. But that did not matter. As you agreed, this was a casual friendship.

“Are you heading home?” Jacob (person) asked you. He had a grin on his face and two books in between his hip and forearm. “Do you need a ride?”

You began to be a little suspicious but you pushed that aside. He was being courteous, and besides, it was not like you were going to accept his offer. You both knew that. “I’m good,” you replied. “I live just nearby. But thank you for your offer. I really appreciate it.” You smiled at him. “Rain check?” you joked.

He chuckled. “Deal.”

You shrugged. “Well, I’m off. I’ll see you around?”

He nodded.

Then you fled from the library and hurried home. You were hungry and you had some leftover mac and cheese to help you. But you could not help but wonder if Jacob (person) really was the same Jacob you were texting. You shook your head. “That would be way too good to be true,” you murmured under your breath.

Once you were in bed, you messaged Jacob (text mate) about the man you had met with whom he shared a name with. ‘Met a guy named Jacob in the library. Was that you? Hahaha.’

‘Yeah? What did you think of him?’

“He is wow-wee-wow handsome. Like, I can’t imagine a guy that good-looking was actually talking to me and asked if I needed a ride.’

‘Oooh. Someone’s got a crush.’

‘I don’t think so. It’s more admiring from afar, haha. But who knows, it could be? If I see him a few more times then it could escalate. Because really, that guy? Total hotness.’

‘Someone does a have a crush.’

“Oh please. If anyone’s got a crush, it’s him on me. Nobody tells anecdotes to a random stranger, even if I do work there. Plus, asking me if I needed a ride? I think that says something. Don’t you?’

‘Hahahaha. Maybe he does! I guess we’ll have to find out.’

‘Yeah? How’s that?’

‘Ask him.’

You laughed out loud. ‘Ask him? Are you serious? We’ve only just met and I’ll come up to him and say, “Hey, do you have a crush on me? My text mate with the same name as you thinks so.” Classic move.’

‘Hey, you’re the one who said he has a crush on you. HAHA.’

‘Oh, hush. You know I was just kidding.’

‘Were you really?’

‘Well...okay, there was a tiny bit of wishful thinking in there. I mean, as I said. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Absolutely stunning.’

‘Okay, okay. You’ve made your point. You really know how to make a guy feel good about himself.’

‘Was that supposed to be sarcastic? Hahaha.’

It took more than two minutes for him to respond.

‘Yes, it was.’

‘Hahaha. Sorry, I was just admiring his beauty.’

‘Good for him though. He’s got an admirer.’

‘Hey. Hey. You’re beginning to reach a level. Warning! Warning!’

‘HAHA! Sorry, sorry. Just a little jealous. Not because you like him or anything, I don’t have a say on who you like and don’t like. But I’ve always wanted to be admired.’

‘Oh, I’m sure you have. I’m sure someone out there is admiring you right now!’

‘Thanks for the boost, haha.’

‘Anytime, bro.’

After changing the subject and exchanging a few more messages, he told you he was going to head off to la-la land. ‘Early start tomorrow. Don’t wanna disappoint the boss.’

‘You mean, the professors?’

‘Don’t you have classes tomorrow, too?’

‘Late classes. Hehe.’

‘Lucky you. For tomorrow...or today? It’s past midnight.’

‘Both. But anyways, go to sleep! Just message when you’re free.’

‘Okay-okay. Night, Y/N.’

‘Night, Jacob.’

Days and days passed by. You and Jacob (text mate) continued to message each other. You would have engaging conversations but also just random moments. It made you feel happy knowing that you have got a friend who did not judge you and whom you could talk about anything and everything with. To be completely honest, as much as you loved your family and friends, it was still different.

But there was another thing you were looking forward to. Well, another person you were looking forward to seeing every day when not on your day off. Jacob (person). You had become friends, even going out to the coffee shop from time to time. You kept the other Jacob (text mate) from your conversations; actually, you kept Jacob (text mate) from everyone, it was just your little secret. No harm in that.

“So how are your classes so far?” he asked.

You shrugged as you took a sip from your drink. “Everything’s still good. Grades are okay so far. I hope it stays that way.”

“Or better.”

You grinned and echoed, “Or better.” You took a bite from your food and said, “How’s your research going?”

He sighed. “I’m gonna need to dig deeper. My dad and I, we’re very sure that the wolf pack existed. We just need more evidence, more time.”

“How much longer do you have?”

There was an old tale in your city. Back in the day, before the town was commercialized, there were mythical creatures, a wolf pack said to have been able to cure diseases. Some even said they were shapeshifters, but obviously, people nowadays would be skeptical about it. Jacob’s father was in dire need of help, his health was deteriorating and no one had a clue why. What the Black family needed was even just a tiny bit of proof and they could go from there. But Mr. Black was failing more and more every day. And frankly, you did not believe in the mythical creatures anyway. But, as you looked into Jacob’s eyes, they were pretty desperate and would try everything and anything. This was their last resort, their last chance. You did hope for the best for them, but you were also expecting the worst. But of course, you did and would never tell Jacob that.

He sighed and lowered his eyes. “I don’t know, honestly. Not too long. He’s not really doing well. To be honest, I enjoy getting out of the house because I hate hearing him suffer. I’m too weak, I know. Too weak to stay with my father during his greatest time of need. I hate to see him suffer.”

You nodded solemnly. You did not think he was too weak but you did not want to interrupt him.

“I just need this. Whatever it takes.”

‘And what happens if this fails?’ you thought. But you kept your mouth shut.

“I’m sorry to be whining to you about this, Y/N. I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this. I can feel that people pity me. And I hate that. I don’t need their pity. Unlike you, Y/N.” He smiled. “You keep me going. Thank you.”

You gave him a warm smile. “I’m here for you. Remember that.”

Once you arrived home, you pulled out your phone from your pocket and texted Jacob (text mate) about your day.

‘And you haven’t given him your number?’

‘We always just meet in the library, and I don’t think there’s any more to that.’

It took a while for him to respond. ‘Why you?’

You were taken aback by the question, and even a little offended. ‘Excuse me?’

‘Forget it.’

‘No I will not!’

‘I’m tired and burnt out. I’ll message you tomorrow. Night, Y/N.’

You did not bother to text him back.

In class the next day, you could not stop thinking about Jacob’s message to you. ‘Why me?’ You repeated in your head. ‘Why me?’ When you could not wrack your brain for an answer, you sighed, shook your head, and gave up. You did not even want to ask him what he meant anymore. “Why me indeed….”

‘We good?’ He messaged.

‘Yeah, we are. I give up. You don’t even have to tell me what you meant by that.’

‘Good.’

‘You DO have an answer to that question, right?’

‘Of course.’

‘Great, don’t tell me.’

‘Wasn’t planning to anymore either, hahaha.’

You snorted. ‘I’m headed to the library.’

‘Ah. Don’t disturb me mode is now activated..’

‘You can always disturb me.’

‘I know. But you never reply right away anymore. Ever since you and Jacob got together.’

‘We are NOT together.’

‘Mmhm. Keep telling yourself that.’

You rolled your eyes. ‘Whatever. Anyways, heading there now. Message you later.’

But when you got to the library, he was not there. You started your shift, thinking he was just late. But the hours flew by and he did not arrive.

You frowned and hoped that nothing bad had happened to him. And his father.

You messaged Jacob (text mate) about the situation. He did not reply until a few minutes later. What you saw definitely shocked you. ‘I think I’m in love with you, and it scares the crap out of me.’

You stared at the message and then read it over and over again. Finally, you replied, ‘What is this?’

‘I think we should meet. Library tomorrow, after your shift. History section.’

You gulped. Were you ready for this? With shaking fingers you texted, ‘Okay.’

And once you started your shift the next day, you could not be anymore jittery. You had a three-hour shift, as usual. You stayed away from the history section, wondering if he was already there. ‘Oh please don’t be a creeper,’ you prayed.

The third hour came and you stopped in front of the clock. You looked at yourself through the glass and nodded. You could do this.

Your feet carried you to the aisle that you found the number in. You could see a figure with a book in his hand, and when you were finally able to see them clearly, you paused. “Jacob?”

He looked up from what he was reading and grinned. “Hey.”

“It’s been a while,” you joked. “How’ve you been? Are you alright?”

“I’m good, I’m okay.”

“And your dad?”

He shrugged. “Still looking.”

You nodded. “I’m about to meet someone here. His name is Jacob, too. Quite a coincidence, right?”

He smiled and started to dictate a number to you.

Your eyes grew wide. “You’re Jacob?”

He chuckled. “I am both me Jacob and text friend Jacob.”

“But…how?” You were overjoyed yet slightly embarrassed. You kept a lot of details from him as you became friends but did not think twice about telling Jacob (text mate) everything. Then, the worst scenario had entered your mind.

“Oh my god. I’ve been talking to you about you.” You scrunched your face. “Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. This is going to take me so long to get over. Oh my god, I am so sorry, Jacob.”

He laughed. “That number was really meant for you.” You cocked your head to the side. “I’ve always had a crush on you. I was hoping that you’d find the paper a few months back but I chickened out and placed it inside the book, and I forgot to take it out. But when you messaged me and told me your name, well…,” he shrugged. “Just go with the flow.”

You tried to wrap your head around the story. So Jacob has always had a crush on you. Wow. Why had you never noticed him before? You have been working here for ages.

“How come I’ve never seen you?”

“I’m always at the back,” he answered, his heading tilting slightly to gesture to the side. “Like I said, I’ve been watching you from afar.” He chuckled nervously.

“Well…before we get into anything,” you started. “I have three questions for you.”

“Shoot.”

“She never saw it then?”

“I didn’t want to be too forward and immediately say, ‘it’s you!’.”

“Why me?”

He smiled. “Why did I have to fall in love with you, I thought you wouldn’t take it too well. But I can see you actually are okay with it?”

“I’m confused,” you answered. “Give me some time to react.”

“And your next question?”

“Why does it scare the crap out of you?”

“Because I don’t know what you’d say.”

You pursed your lips. “That’s it?”

“That’s all…?” He was obviously unsure of what you were thinking of. “Are you going to get mad at me now?”

You stared at him for a little while. “Honestly, I think I’m way too relieved, and admittingly happy, that it’s you. I’ve grown to have feelings for both of you. But I thought that nothing could ever happen for both so….”

“But now it can happy. And you wouldn’t have to choose between the two Jacobs.”

You laughed. “That’s true though.”

“What do you say?” He began. “Official first date later?”

You pretended to think. “One last question. Is it too much of a coincidence that I found that piece of paper now for me even though you wrote it months ago?”

He shrugged and grinned. “I guess it’s a lucky number, yeah?”

[life-rewritten]

WE BEST LOVE  (Fighting Mr 2nd) DEYI and The Theme of Control and Power

You know that show that you know you can talk about forever and be obsessed with, although it seems pretty simple and not really that complicated to analyse and break down? Well, We Best Love (WBL) is precisely that in the most amazing way. I'm not shocked because I've always been a fan of the History Series, especially with this writer and how she creates her projects; it's not surprising that WBL happens to be the most comfortable show to lean into. It feels like entering a cheesy, cute, romantic novel. Yet, it still is the most angsty, passionate, drama-filled plot enough to make you want to run into the screen and comfort these comfort characters, scream at them when they're not making sense, and keep watching despite the pain when you feel like they've gone too far. And I kept quiet and watched season 1 of WBL. I was entranced and in love because it was so simple, but it felt perfect for me; it was a distraction, it made me smile, and it also made my heart quiver. I adored all the actors, and I also enjoyed how the storyline was told. It doesn't have to be so deep and full of clues, but there were facets to the characters, clear set rules in understanding their character roles, and small hints building in the last episode that all was not well and a lot was coming for our couple in the future. It broke my heart because season 1 was focused on the immaturity and naiveness of how we feel when we enter university for the first time; the excitement, but still innocence of hopefully finding someone to mesh with, and yet the dumbness/naivety that can distract us or slow us down before knowing who that person is. Season 1 was light, funny, and sweet because that's how our doe-eyed souls feel when we first enter college and get to discover who we are. Season 2, on the other hand, is focusing on maturity, actually dealing with our flaws, coping with the responsibilities and hardships of life, duty and obligation vs wants and need; the characters are older now, affected by the world's cruelties/situations and now have walls up higher than before. 

And in order to help us get that vibe, even more, our couple's relationship is put through the wringer, hearts torn, misunderstandings prolonged unfairly, and everyone broken just staying in a state of pining, longing and anger, anger, at what was lost to them; the innocence/fun of falling in love, the guise of being in control, and the joy of being free and dumb in love. It isn't a surprise to see our main character, Shide and Shu Yi, see their flaws fleshed out more in the open and actually increased and exposed for us, the audience, to watch and dislike. Shu Yi's short temper becomes even more exposed as he struggles to have control over his past and feelings for Shide once they reunite, and Shide's withdrawal of emotions also becomes even more strained and put on focus as he also realises what he has lost. Both of them enter this sick twisted, and tense need for control and power that their relationship becomes intense and full of passion hidden behind the anger and resentment. So I'm going to break down the idea of Control and Power with these twos relationship, a certain theme that has been there since season 1, and why now it's something both rivals are struggling to obtain to win, especially Shuyi, who is determined this time to not be Mr 2nd when it comes to Shide again. Hence the title Fighting Mr 2nd.

Misunderstandings and Miscommunications

Let's first focus on the miscommunication/ separation at hand. This exposed so much already about how these two felt about the power they hold over the other. Let's first look at what season 1 exposed; for Shide, Shuyi has always had control over him since the moment his young self told him that he would be a companion to him whenever he was lonely. Shide has desperately loved Shuyi and did everything possible to ensure he kept Shuyi's focus on him no matter what. The way he decided to do this was to put himself in a place more powerful than Shuyi; he put himself always ahead of Shuyi, ensuring he was always number one no matter what. This was how he controlled the situation; for him, as long as Shuyi noticed him, he was happy to continue hoping for a change and also making him react. In Shide's mind, he never wanted to force/ make Shuyi fall for him because he didn't think it was possible. He just wanted to be by his side (as a 'friend') until graduation was over.This shows me already some stuff about their relationship. How Shide perceives Shuyi; one, he didn't trust in Shuyi's love as being as strong as he was. He even says it to Shuyi on the bridge when they confessed to each other. For him, Shuyi was always the 'lucky' one; the one in control, the real winner because he had him in his palm of his hand. Shuyi was the one who made him whipped, the one he chased after secretly for 8 years or more. Shuyi has always been the one with the hold over him. Immediately they got together, Shide also tells Shouyi his confusion but the happiness that Shuyi is also feeling the same towards him.

Shide can't believe the switch in Shuyi's personality and actions for him; Shuyi still tried to play of Shide's grand confessions of love in the last episode, and Shide was okay as long as Shuyi kept paying attention to him. But in my head, it showed that Shide didn't think Shuyi's love was as unconditional, as strong, as uncontrollable as his. He didn't know he had any hold over Shuyi. He thought it was his constant love and chase that won Shuyi in the end, so what happens when he thinks he pushed Shuyi away? In Shide's perspective, he's the one who slacked behind and pushed Shuyi away by disappearing for 5 years, which fair enough makes sense; Shuyi has every right to be angry at being ghosted. But Shide blames himself and thinks it's because his show of love was weakened and slowed down that it caused Shuyi to retreat and walk away easily. Because he wasn't fighting anymore for their love, he lost Shuyi's attention. Again this suggests how fickle he believes Shuyi's feelings are and how still in his head he believes he's the one with the long-lasting love/feelings.

Shide's personality is someone who likes to be in control (like Shuyi but for different ways and reasons); he's kind of had to always be; ever since his dad died, he's had to try and make it his goal to become stronger and better to take care of his mum, and to ensure they live well. This is connected to the theme of Duty and Obligation in the show.  Even in Season 1, the reason he has to leave for America for a bit is to ensure his mum settles in nicely. Even after that, he's again the one responsible for ensuring whoever was sick in America was taken care of. It's because of his need to be responsible and be in control that Shuyi always feels distanced from him (mocked, misunderstood, and hurt). Shide is someone who likes to keep a calm demeanour. He likes to take things on by himself; he likes to not show when he's hurting or alone (apart from that one time as a kid where he broke down on Shuyi). In fact, it might be because Shuyi is the only one who did see him in his vulnerable state and gave him an aim to become stronger that made him cling on to his love for him and devote himself to his love for him. But in looking so in control of his emotions, Shuyi always saw Shide as someone who loved winning and making him feel like a fool. In season 1, he thought Shide did it on purpose to see him lose control and be a mess, and in season 2, he's resorted back to that thinking. Let's look at why?

No 1 for You (Shide’s pov)  vs Fighting Mr 2nd (Shuyi’s pov)

Shuyi did not also understand the proper depth of Shide's feelings. I guess we should have seen it coming that he didn't fully understand how deep they were, he had heard ideas from Shide's mother, he had heard grand declarations from Shide (after he was the one to pry it out of him), but he didn't actually trust it fully. I think because he didn't fully trust both their sexualities and identities when it came to their feelings. Like I said, we should have seen it coming when he admits he doesn't want to fall for a guy, but also it's because it's Shide he's okay with being in love. However, people complained about this because in BL, we're tired of the I love you, not boys trajectory always chosen. However, it was more than that. I think because of what's embedded in people's minds at a young age (due to society),  there might have also been, as a result of that,  hints of internalised homophobia (IH) with Shuyi. And that's why it made sense for him to wither and assume that Shide truly would be with someone else and be married and have kids. Because of IH, Shuyi may have automatically thought it made sense that Shide would move on, get married and have kids in America (hence as he said in episode 1,  he was disqualified by choice) because, in his head, he didn't understand Shide's love and devotion for him.

It also points to insecurity and fear that he might not be enough/the better option for Shide. One of his pet peeves was that he was always coming second to Shide, he was always being seen by himself as second best, and he probably also thought he had become the second-best option to Shide living a great 'fulfilled' life according to 'society' where he is married to a wife and has kids. This is why in the special episode, he also gives up easily and wishes him the best refusing to actually question why Shide would do this to him after all the stupid and grand promises he made a year ago before he left. Promises of marriage, promises of devotion, of being his family etc. Of course, this felt like Shuyi was thoroughly mocked and lowered because he had lost again to Shide by letting his heart trust him and wait for him. Now, in season 2, he's determined to not do that too. To not lose control of his heart ever again. To not fail to Shide in any way, shape or form ever again.

Shuyi; The Guise of Control

Shide is always acting on the surface like he's in control, causing Shuyi to always think he's more vulnerable and a fool, and it makes season 2 make more sense. Even if Shide says, he'll make Shuyi look at him again, how on earth is he meant to ever let that happen? He literally manipulated the situation in season 1 and got Shuyi's walls down only for him just to cheat on him, so how can Shuyi trust just his actions on the surface?

No matter how devoted Shide is looking, even at the end finally showing a hint of losing control under Shuyi's hold which Shuyi was not expecting because he thought Shide will always want to again be 'proper'.  And in the past, it was Shuyi who always pushed for skinship once they started dating; Shide always again acted like he hadn't been affected; this was discussed actually in that final episode. Even if on the surface Shide looked affected, Shuyi wouldn't trust that. Because Shide is always holding back whilst Shuyi always feels like a fool, never being able to control himself around him, never being able to control his emotions or have a poker face around him. From the first episode in season 1, Shuyi has always been uncontrollable when it came to Shide, whilst Shide always came out looking cool.

Shuyi always ended up in the most vulnerable shameful state (forgetfully hurting himself in reaction to Shide's presence, being the one distracted and bothered by skinship in the last episode whilst Shide studied, or even being exposed and screaming down a bridge, his love for Shide to make Shide come out and say how he feels). Shuyi always ended up being weakened and frustrated because Shide seemed like he had everything in order. Shuyi is now adamant he's lying or that Shuyi is still the one who's more in love with him (his biggest fear). For example, the slap he gives to Shide (exposed his lack of control of emotions around Shide) and yet Shide immediately tried to control the situation, making Shuyi again look like the irrational one and the most affected one. Also, as mentioned it Shuyi (in Shuyi's head), who proceeded to force/get Shide to confess. Because Shide was too focused on controlling his environment, avoiding the situation, holding back his feelings, whilst Shuyi's emotions always get the best of him and caused him to still lose in front of Shide. Basically letting Shide get his way all the time. And by doing that, it was Shuyi who ended up waiting for a year and then being 'cheated' on, being ghosted with his heart shattered.

The Fear of Weakness and Vulnerability

Other examples are Shide going to Shuyi's house and ignoring him in his own home (again, Shuyi can't even control his environment when it comes to Shide, everything he owns feels little because Shide seems to have a hold over him in everything), and proceeding to make him the fried rice. Even as the vice president who's meant to be in control and be in charge of letting go of people (which his father is pressuring him to do, he has no choice in the matter), Shide is the CEO (a higher position)  of the company and is adamant on convincing Shuyi to do no such thing. It's a big fear to Shuyi, which is why he's determined to ensure he does fire these people because if he doesn't, It means he's again coinciding underneath Shide's hold over him, over everything he has, including his heart.

The act of making fried rice in Shuyi's house as if nothing is going on, Shide ignoring his tantrums and outbursts does again what Shuyi hates, makes him feel stupid, weak and vulnerable. It makes him feel like he's losing again to Shide. This is why I think he really has no other option in his mind to win but to use emotions and feelings (what he can't control) as a weapon to capture Shide. By making Shide fall for him emotionally and then being the one to break his heart, that's how Shuyi thinks he'll finally be able to break down Shide's calm, façade that he's always in control, that's how he stops being Mr Second. Obviously, it's a stupid idea because Shuyi literally becomes weakened just by being in Shide's presence. To be anywhere intimate with him, he will only resort to his own emotions being, even more, harder to handle even if he tries to play it off as just attraction.

And for both of them, control is even harder physically with emotions because they've been 'starved' of each other's presence for 5 years, of each other's touch and connection. As shown in episode 1 of FMS, they're both in a state of pining, longing and waiting for one of them to give in. For 5 years, Shuyi was secretly fighting against the truth that he had been waiting for Shide to return even when he tried to focus all his energy and heart into hate and bitterness (to distract him from the pain of waiting). Shuyi never wanted to give up on hope, never wanted to let go of Shide, because it's out of his control to forget or move on. He couldn't do that even if he tried. This is why he also tries again to use a power play with a fake girlfriend that he couldn't remember the name for.  Every single sentence he said was how he compared himself to the girl he thought Shide cheated on him with. He was saying it to hurt Shide, but in the end, he was still exposing his own hurt and insecurity about why he thought Shide left him.

Shide; Control Vs Sacrifice

Meanwhile, the audience all know that, on the other hand, Shide is the one who has no control over the matter. No matter what he seems like on the surface/ in front of Shuyi, Shide is completely tired, weak and frustrated once he sees Shuyi again. It's frustrating because the only time he shows his emotions is once Shuyi isn't looking; he cries only after Shuyi has left, always holding his feelings and only letting it out when he's by himself. Although to Shuyi, it seems he's in control, being the CEO, being the one who disappeared for 5 years, being the one who is successful and influential, Shuyi couldn't be more opposite in his thoughts. Shide has no control over the CEO position; it's not a job he chose for himself, it's not what he wanted to do, he did it because of again his responsibility to his mother and family. Shide isn't the one who chose to disappear for 5 years in America; he again had no control over the situation because someone else was ill, and he had to be the one to help his family again become stable. And lastly, Shide isn't successful and as influential as he's sold his company to Shuyi's father, so he actually isn't in control of his position, of his life essentially. What Shuyi sees as control is unfortunate because it's actually Shide's sacrifice; he's had to lose what he actually wants to be in that position. All he's ever wanted is Shuyi. Ironic no?

Even in Season 1, when he seemed to be the one controlling the situation, he wasn't; he always did everything to get Shuyi, and for 8 years him being 'in control/winner' as Shuyi puts it wasn't him winning because he always didn't get Shuyi's heart before he confessed. And that's what's so heartbreaking about Shuyi's misunderstanding of Shide; when he first sees Shide in the past in his memories, he doesn't know the moment Shide fell for him; he just sees Shide winning over him, he doesn't even notice the first person who had control over the other was him, because he already took Shide's heart, trust and devotion. This is why Shide told him he was the lucky one; he was the one who was winning, who was always in control. Not Shide.

Love and It’s Hold and Power

And again, although Shide is the one he thinks he's second-best to. Shuyi has a lot of power over everyone else since he was young. He's been a spoilt, rich boy who's had control over his friends (in a positive way like they felt they had to watch him and babysit him), he's had control due to his father's power, and he's had control now over Shide just due to again his father's job and his heritage. And I think that's why he can't stand the fact that no matter what he does when he's with Shide, he loses all of that power; he's reduced to wanting to do something for someone, like in season 1, washing the dishes, being humble, exposing his feelings to Shide so loudly and vulnerably. Shide is the only person who makes him want to do all that, and he hates it. It's why when the employees in episode 1 call him again Shide's girlfriend (even though literally Shide bending down to tie his laces is an act of losing control and him being in control of him), it bothers him because it makes him look weak. He's the one flustered by the actions; his heart is shaken by the movement. What he sees about Shide vs what's genuinely being shown/exposed is so opposite, so of course, they're more prone to misunderstandings because they've always both seen the situation very differently.

So WBL has always been using this theme of Control vs Power with Shide and Shuyi. And how, because of love, both of them feel this lack of control over each other. Mostly from season 1, when Shide gets closer to Shuyi using the idea of rivalry to see who can win over each other, even though he gives in always to Shuyi on purpose. Shuyi's misunderstanding has always been an issue since episode 1, since even when Shide kissed him in the pool. This time around in season 2, we get to deal with the actual seriousness/reciprocation of what that misunderstanding and fear of lack of control can do to them. And how others can manipulate that (Shuyi's father probably). Either way, these twos relationship has become angst central because Shuyi really is fighting Mr second, he's determined this time not to lose to Shide no matter what and he's finally using like the last way he can possibly gain control over Shide. His body. The most vulnerable part of a person is exposed when they sleep with someone else; by getting Shide to even want to give in to him as he requested, he can expose everything about Shide, his weakness, his heart, his truths. Hence, it makes sense the relationship is using attraction and chemistry as a powerful tool for the storyline. Shuyi isn't going to be able to even go through with anything because he's just as vulnerable and weak with Shide as Shide is with him.

I love angst, and I love power plays and fight for control in rivals to lovers stories. I love misunderstandings and requited, but they don't know the trope. I just really enjoy WBL, and I'm so excited to see what happens next. Looks like Shide is finally going to lose that façade he has on the surface once he breaks down under the influence of alcohol; probably, poor boy has been suffering so much. And I think both of them will soon need to gain control over their situation together so they can defeat the obstacles that come in the form of Shuyi's father, society, company issues etc. So yeh, I'm loving this, and it's such a breath of fresh air. Friday is too far away, sigh.

[wangshu]

YOU KNOW I HAVE TO DO IT MAN. you know what i want... i um um methinks . all of them if you woulf be so kind 😁

CRIES AND GOES INSANE!!! i should not have expected anything else cyno beloved. IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG.

Height  -  five five or five six!

Virgin?  -  no i am the bang master

Shoe size  -  i have no idea

Do you smoke?  -  no and i honestly think people who do are cringe

Do you drink?  -  have drank but im not a fan of it, so no and i don't plan to. not a grand experience.

Do you take drugs?  -  aside from prescription medication, no.

Age you get mistaken for  -  early 20's

Have tattoos?  -  no!

Want any tattoos?  -  yes i definitely plan to get some. i want a genshin themed tat as cringe as it is.

Got any piercings?  -  no!

Want any piercings?  -  yes! i almost got my ears pieced but i chickened out. one day maybe.

Best friend?  -  tumblr user onemillionvolts aka CYNO!!

Relationship status  -  taken by my lovely lovely girlfriend starlynx!

Biggest turn ons  -  oh god uh. definitely. my girlfriend. my girlfriend. and my girlfriend.

Biggest turn offs  -  ducklips iykyk but also over confidence. people who believe they are higher beings (queen, angel, god, etc) when they are just some guy make me and everyone they know uncomfortable. especially religious terms or pronouns on yourself is something i find extremely disrespectful. i could write an essay on that topic.

Favorite movie  -  zombieland

I’ll love you if  -  you're funny and look exactly like a certain general mahamatra and and and

Someone you miss  -  my girlfriend

Most traumatic experience  -  almost had cancer. almost drowned to death. lost my best friend because he chose weed over me. got my trust betrayed by someone i thought had changed and now they're impersonating someone close to me and someone important to my best friend.

A fact about your personality  -  i have multiple. but uh, im very emotional and also deadpan there is no in-between it is horrible.

What I hate most about myself - oh god, im a suck up and a people pleaser.

What I love most about myself ‐ i can write okay and im good at listening to problems and giving advice if they want or need it. i'm also pretty okay at problem solving.

What I want to be when I get older ‐ a musician honestly, but my fingers lock up and it's hard to play what im passionate about.

My relationship with my sibling(s) ‐ neutral, i don't talk to them.

My relationship with my parent(s) - i like my mom but she's a little overbearing, my dad is.. something else. /neg

My idea of a perfect date - anything at night and not too high energy, unless it's like roller skating then im so down. i love calm environments and just getting to talk and get to know each other, im a sucker for psychological conversations too.

My biggest pet peeves - liars and cheaters and people who say they'll change and never do. waste of everyone's time.

A description of the girl/boy I like - my girlfriend

A description of the person I dislike the most - tumblr user s *gets shot* no but actually, probably my ex, man looks like shane dawson now and he's got the personality to match.

A reason I’ve lied to a friend - ive lied to someone so they stopped asking me out. they still won't stop. don't know what i gotta do to make them stop but oh well.

What I hate the most about work/school - bad education system + im autistic and i can't handle those environments. school was very, very neglectful.

What your last text message says - not copypasting but i asked my girlfriend if she wanted to play mario kart when she got home. ps im great at mario kart.

What words upset me the most - i don't really like being called fam. is that something? oh well.

What words make me feel the best about myself - any positive words of affirmation.

What I find attractive in women - being my girlfriend

What I find attractive in men - being my girlfriend

Where I would like to live ‐ somewhere cold and away from people, i love the country.

One of my insecurities - i have a lazy eye but im getting surgery for it very soon, so i guess.. my chest? and my permanent baby face.

My childhood career choice - taxidermist

My favorite ice cream flavor - black raspberry!!! tastes the absolute best.

Who wish I could be - something better.

Where I want to be right now - somewhere cold and comfy, or at my girlfriends

The last thing I ate - burger king original chicken sandwich yum

Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately ‐ my girlfriend

A random fact about anything - boreal forests have six seasons instead of four.

[nextstopparis]

i never really got too deep into the merlin fandom but like if arthur was meant to be this great king then shouldn't the writers show him making decisions of his voilition? repealing the ban in magic means nothing if he doesn't truly believe in it/only doing for merlin. what good does it do the magical community if arthur doesn't mean it? if he has to have merlin's opinion on all the big laws then he's not really a great king is he? especially in that scene where he's asking merlin on if he should repeal the ban and merlin says that there is no place in camelot for magic. like bro that should be a decision you make based of your own opinions not off what the dude you're in love w thinks. i think the writers need to do better. about the whole camelot is always at war thing, peace is nice and all but not everyone agrees that easily. he was gonna have to go to war at some point. uniting albion was always gonna have some bloodshed. also we should've seen arthur making reparations to the magical community. let merlin build a school or smth. man the writers suck. anyway just an outsiders(?) pov. what do you think?

(also denounce your dad artie. he left you w so many daddy issues. u not liking ur dad doesnt make u less of a king.)

(i am an arthur pendragon stan by the way. that boy holds my heart like no other. i just think the writer's kept resetting arthur's character arc every few episodes.)

anon, arthur is by far one of the most difficult topics of discussion kjdckfjfndk ok. so.

before i start i would just like to say, i also am an arthur fan and so you know. am a lil (lot) biased? ill probably get some (most) things wrong. so, full disclosure: these are just the opinions that i have at the moment based on my own interpretations and so on and so forth. may be subject to change, yada yada yada. this is not a formal response, you know, just me and my emotions and a keyboard and no brain.

now, the thing is, i used to completely agree with you, 200% - on all/most of your points, yes, but especially what you said about:

repealing the ban in magic means nothing if he doesn't truly believe in it/only doing for merlin.

and

what good does it do the magical community if arthur doesn't mean it?

like this used to be my biggest pet peeve in discussions surrounding the legalization of magic because i genuinely didn't (and still don't) think it's all that simple as legalizing it the second he realizes it's fucked up. like i do think that in the long run, he would be doing harm by just like. willy nilly legalizing magic with no incentive to learn about it/properly appreciate it. i think that if he just legalized it out of the blue, without meticulous planning and a lot of discussions and taking into consideration A LOT of things, the sudden legalization would not only be harmful to the magic community, but also to the general public. obviously, im not a lawyer person or all around politics man, but to me, something this big and important can be easily exploited if not done correctly.

also, like, if he did just suddenly legalize magic, would he even attempt to reconcile with all those people he actively helped oppress? would he try to actually repent for the part he played in genocide? or would he take a look at the changed laws and think. hm. thats enough, right? and then not even make an attempt to make his laws safe for all his people? i have my own perception of arthur, so i want to say that, you know - yeah. he would. he's got good people around him, and i do think he's a good person, personally, so he would want to atone, and thus be able to/try to. but honestly and objectively, i just dont know. people in places of power usually do the bare minimum, so maybe he's the same - and that would be harmful. because yes, magic can be dangerous, and sometimes it will be used in a harmful manner. if he doesn't put the needed effort into it, he won't have laws in place that help protect people from those (however few) magic users that do abuse their power. he wont be able to prevent making magic users think theyre being arrested bc of their magic rather than the done deed. also, magic users seem to have their own cultures and religions, so there's a big chance he won't be respectful of all of them/might be actively offensive towards some (which may lead to more conflict). can he really make right a thing he can't understand? at what point does he know to draw the line? if magic is legalized, should he explicitly include dark magic (fomorroh, necromancy, whatever) or should he not? and there are just so many more things. you know like. it's a whole new domain that he HAS to know about to make the best decisions for and be able to genuinely appreciate for all it is.

(or maybe its just really as simple as everyones making it and im overcomplicating everything??)

however, all that being said. is it better to put off legalization while he learns about it? like. does an entire community of people have to just sit around, waiting to get their BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS of not fearing for their lives/being actively persecuted/whatever, just because he's ignorant? should future harm from remiss laws be a risk they have to take? i mean. people are DYING everyday, so? like the more i think about it the more its like. HOW IS THAT AT ALL FAIR. you know? and i guess it could be argued that, while he's learning, executions and stuff will be put on hold (unless it's like. an unavoidable thing i guess) and whatever but. like, the fear will still be there? you know, great. he's not actively executing anyone, but like, the law would still be there. it would still be affecting people whether he's actively enforcing it or not.

so, i dont know. the only solution that comes to my mind is he like. legalizes it and then makes the necessary revisions the more he becomes educated, but. im scared that THAT might accidentally be interpreted as like, him going back on his word in a sneaky way, or whatever. like a ploy sort of, i dont know. I DONT KNOW!!! THANK FUCKING GOD IM NOT KING!!!! or, like another obvious solution, here, i think, seems to be to just. make someone else king? lol? someone with the knowledge and caution and without the prejudice. but i really dont think i agree with that either, because i think arthur NEEDS to be the one to do it. HE played the second largest role in causing all of this harm. HE has helped his father commit genocide and continued doing so. HE HAS DONE ALL THESE THING so HE needs to be the one to fix them. (i mean, this would be a whole other discussion if he just didn't want to legalize magic despite debunking all the propaganda his father seared onto his brain, bc then its just like ok. kill him. but i do think that if people just TOLD HIM STUFF he would want to?? LIKE MAYBE IF HE KNEW ABOUT HIS MOTHER HMM.. OR MAYBE IF HE KNEW ALL THE WAYS MAGIC HAS BEEN GOOD INSTEAD OF LIKE? THE THREE TIMES THEY TOLD HIM ABOUT??? WHAT THE F U C K. anyway i digress)(i dont know why i even brought that up this scenario is literally that he does want to legalize it lmfao ignore me). so. you know. i dont think theres a simple solution at all.

actually, theres also the fact that he can just reintroduce magic slowly? like do the obvious things that don't require informed decision making, and then do the rest as he learns more? idk how that would work though? like in stages? idk. idk about magic to be able to say anything. maybe first take away that it's punishable by death. then maybe allow them marked graves (THIS IS SO FUCKED UP sorry i get so angry just remembering this fucking law. like all of it is fucked up, obviously, it's genocide, but this is just so? tangible? so small? idk). then you know, whatever. more and more. this would probably be the best course of action i think. maybe (IM SORRY I KEEP THINKING OF THINGS AND ADDING THEM IM BABBLING IK).

also. THANK YOU for the "/only doing for merlin." part because i. HATE THAT. i hate it. i read it all the fucking time in fanfics and it makes me lOSE MY FUCKING MIND like ok. i guess its? romantic? and i read merthur fics so connect the dots, nextstopparis, i guess but. i just. i HATE IT. it makes my blood boil whenever i see anything close to that because. HELLO!!!! THIS IS AN ISSUE!!!! THIS IS LIKE REALLY IMPORTANT!!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY THAT THIS SHOULD NOT BE A ROMANTIC GESTURE!!! honestly, i love arthur, but FUCK HIM to hell and back if he only decides that an oppressed body of people should have rights because someone he loves is directly affected by it. FUCK THAT. merlin can help him! merlin can be the reason he starts opening his eyes to it! BUT I FUCKING DESPISE MERLIN BEING THE SOLE REASON FOR THE LEGALIZATION. i hate it. honestly, in my opinion, its disrespectful to not only like. THE ENTIRE MAGICAL COMMUNITY (obviously) but also to both merlin and arthur's characters. god. i hate it (this is so unrelated but my personal favourite au is to imagine that arthur begins learning abt magic to legalize it behind merlin's back bc he thinks merlin hates it. you know. im a fan of ~irony~ i guess. also it has a lot of angst potential but i digress)(i tried not to say that rhymed but that rhymes).

so, anyway. those are my Thots(TM) on the whole legalization of magic thing. i think there'd be added consequences (in my opinion, none too small) if he doesn't genuinely believe in/respect/know about the things he's legalizing. on the other hand though, its so FUCKED UP to make people wait for their rights to be free and unafraid and respected just bc a guy in the HIGHEST POSITION OF POWER is ignorant. idk.

now, you also said

if he has to have merlin's opinion on all the big laws then he's not really a great king is he? especially in that scene where he's asking merlin on if he should repeal the ban and merlin says that there is no place in camelot for magic. like bro that should be a decision you make based of your own opinions not off what the dude you're in love w thinks.

which, mostly - yeah.

i would, however, just like to add something. and maybe this is what you meant anon, idk, but i just think - i actually think it's really admirable that he asks. hell, i WANT him to ask people for their opinions because you know, his aren't going to be perfect all the time. he has a very narrow point of view regarding A LOT of things, so it would be DISASTROUS for him to make every decision on his own for an entire kingdom - for an entire group of people that he is so far removed from. so. i liked that he asked merlin and i also appreciated that he did put a lot of value in merlin's words. HOWEVER.

you're right. he needs to think for himself. like okay, merlin has given you his opinion, but THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU JUST DO WHAT HE SAYS??? IT MEANS YOU THINK ON IT AND USE THOSE CRITICAL THINKING SKILLS (dont even think it) TO DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS. a lot of the times in seasons 4 and 5, i got really annoyed with arthur because he would ask for an opinion when he was really just looking for someone else to make his decision for him. how many times did he do this exact thing with agravaine? he told merlin that he's alone as king, and yet every damn thing agravaine told him, he just? didn't question? like AT ALL? and i understand the familial bonds and whatever but i mean. COME ON. these are kingdom matters??? that affect hundreds (thousands? idk the population) of people???? (can you tell im bitter about agravaine?)

so, basically: i think its good that arthur asked people and opened himself to criticism and review, but i think that he should have taken their opinions as just that, OPINIONS. not decisions to make at their word. again, maybe this is the arthur stan in me being biased, but arthur was a GOOD person. he wanted to do the right thing. i think if he'd taken everyone's council into consideration and knew all the facts, he would have made the best decision by himself. but again, thats just my perception of his character. (i also want to point out that he did ignore advice sometimes - esp when he was given two pieces of advice that directly opposed each other. it felt like he wouldn't even THINK on them, just adopt one as The Course Of Action (usually if he thought it would please his DEAD FATHER but im not gonna get into that) and discard the other one as Nah) (im not talking about merlin's tactical advice though. i do personally believe he was right to not believe merlin when merlin was like. "i dont think we should go through this way but like just bc my gut lol" like?? im sorry i wouldnt believe him either. arthur said it best "oh well, if you've got an instinct, we should ignore my lifetime of military experience" like it SOUNDS ridiculous. anyway. he had critical thinking skills this one time.) (and also when he figured out goblin gaius but thats it).

also, can i just add? the fact that arthur WAS open to other peoples ideas was literally one of his better characteristics. it was one of the major things that set him apart from his father. in my opinion, it was one of the things that made him empathetic and good. human. gwen and merlin were two of the most important people in his life, and the progression of those relationships literally STARTED because 1) they werent afraid to call him out and 2) because they saw him actually taking their advice into account and changing (mostly, anyway, i guess)!!!!!! arthur had A LOT of issues with classism, obviously (but im Not getting into that) but i think this shows that he did actually want to overcome it. (im not going to talk abt the writers fucking it up for comedy or plot. i wont but know my anger is there).

i think the writers need to do better.

SHOUT IT FROM THE FUCKING ROOFTOPS BABE!!!!! I WILL TATTOO THIS ON MY FOREHEAD, MY ASS, AND ON ALL MY LIMBS!!!!! you know that thing thats like "if you're mad at the character, its good writing, if you're mad at the writer its bad writing"?? i cannot tell you how many FUCKING TIMES ive been angry with the writers.

about the whole camelot is always at war thing, peace is nice and all but not everyone agrees that easily. he was gonna have to go to war at some point. uniting albion was always gonna have some bloodshed.

i mean. i agree, i think. i cant really reply to this very well because i really dont know anything about the inevitability of war and the politics surrounding it and stuff (and also, its just a topic i dont much care to try and think about). but yeah. the whole thing with morgana was definitely inevitable. it became inevitable the second she began prioritizing the crown over the actual liberation of magic users (which was literally as early as season 3 imo so. it was inevitable from the beginning). um. i think thats all i have to say about this? i keep seeing in fics that like. legalizing magic would make the kingdom prone to more magical attacks but like? i dont understand that AT ALL. why would sorcerers wait until its legal to attack like. wouldnt they just... attack anyway? lol. but if he legalizes it irresponsibly then it may provoke more attacks. so. yeah. inevitable. maybe it would cause civil unrest if the citizens themselves are THAT against it. or it might make one of their allies turn against them? DAMMIT NOW IM THINKING ABOUT IT!!! IDK im sorry anon

also we should've seen arthur making reparations to the magical community. let merlin build a school or smth.

YES KCFJENFCEK YESYESYESYESYES although idk if merlin should be the one to teach, the poor guy, but YES oh my god. a magic school? FUCKING INCREDIBLE. MERLIN WITH MAGICAL CHILDREN THAT ARENT MORDRED WHO HE INHERENTLY DISTRUSTS???? KJCEJKHFCF IM LOSING IT I WOULD DIE!!! I WANT THAT SO FUCKING BADLY!!!! maybe arthur could even attend it. but yeah. i think i accidentally talked about this in my first few paragraphs, but making reparations should be in the top two items on his to-do list. i dont know where he'd even BEGIN to be honest... a school is good. maybe helping build more shrines (like the one in 4.10??? would that be a thing???). definitely owning up to all his fuck ups (thats too generous a term but idk vocabulary so u hve to deal with me) and stuff. idk this is why i WANT arthur to be the king because, in my opinion, he needs to be the one to do this. you know? (if u do, tell me, bc idk).

man the writers suck.

once again, i am tattooing this on my eyeballs, across my back, and putting on my will to have it carved into my gravestone.

as for your final point,

(also denounce your dad artie. he left you w so many daddy issues. u not liking ur dad doesnt make u less of a king.)

ARTHUR PENDRAGON SHOULDVE BEEN ABLE TO FULLY REJECT HIS FATHER!!!!!! HE SHOULD HAVE DENOUNCED HIM FOR THE GENOCIDE HE BEGAN TO COVER HIS GUILT BUT ALSO. HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO COME TO TERMS AND ACCEPT THAT UTHER WAS ABUSIVE. THAT HE WAS A BAD FATHER. HE FUCKING DESERVED TO BREAK AWAY FROM UTHER AND THIS IS WHY 2.08 FUCKS ME UP SO MUCH BECAUSE WE ALMOST GOT BOTH OF THOSE THINGS BEFORE THEY SNATCHED IT RIGHT OUT OF OUR REACH. i cannot talk about this i cannot talk about uther pendragon i get so fucking angry. like bad parenting is just one of those things i cannot think about with getting angry so im just. thats all im going to say.

anyways. i dunno if any of that made sense, but. that's all i have to say about it. i think. ive reread this like 20 times i am so fucking exhausted

[sorry-i-ship-drarry]

massaging them , bandaging injury in healer draco / auror Harry one shot please thank you ❤️

This one is new!! Btw sorry for delaying it. Here ya go, hope you like it. @flakeyakey

Single healers

" come on, get him in here" although it was deafening. He was probably losing his senses, his eyes opening and closing, blurring his vision. He couldn't really see the speaker but unconsciously sensed the urgency in their voice.

" and you're sure he wasn't bitten ?" The same voice asked again. Harry tried very hard to open his eyes and see who it was, but exhaustion was pulling him under and he was ready to sleep. Long sleep.

His breath was cutting short, his vision blackening, he was relaxed finally until someone started to lightly pat his cheeks.

" keep breathing, potter... Don't you dare give up right now " and that was the last thing he heard, only getting a slight peek of someone oddly familiar and with a nod, harry closed his eyes.

It was really exhausting to be where harry was right now but all he did really felt was the uncomfortable pillow, hurting his neck. In attempts to fix his pillow, he tried to move his arm until he realised they weren't exactly in a spectacular shape and he grimaced with pain.

" welcome back sweetie" he heard a sweet voice. Okay, there isn't any woman at Harry's home, so he opened his eyes.

" ouch " harry immediately shielded his eyes because of the intense light

" shut that light Karen, it's hurting his visuals" Someone said as they must've shut the door behind him.

Once the light was turned off, harry relaxed and opened his eyes again.

" wow, this is definitely not home " harry groaned

" well not if your home is a hospital potter" the guy in the white coat said. Harry couldn't see whoever it was, mostly because his back was turned to harry but also because he was very much leaned over onto the table that you couldn't see anything but his white coat, his black pants and nice black shoes, shining, and if harry wasn't wrong they were vintage, oh!!

" so how do you feel ?" The guy finally turned around

" I knew it, only you say my name that way " harry fisted his palm in a small victory.

"yeah, yeah very great achievement potter, now how do you feel ?" He asked

" well, for one, I can't feel my ass because of this bed, second, my arm is really sore, third my pillow isn't put right so it definitely is craning my neck too much that it hurts. And lastly my question how did I wound up here ?" Harry goes

" Karen please do the honours of adjusting thy majesty's pillow or he'd cry over it" the other man said as he poured some liquid carefull in a vial.

" now, to answer your question, I am not even slightly interested in how you wound up here, all I know is that you are here and I have to take care of you. Next, the beds are a bit uncomfortable, you'll get used to it in a bit and if not, I'll cast a cushioning spell and lastly, can you tell me exactly where your arm feels most sore ? And do the honours of actually telling me how you feel ?" He said as he walked towards harry, analysing the morning reports he received.

" still keeping the I am a prat attitude Malfoy, suits you " harry rolled his eyes, pointing above his elbow on the dorsal side.

" well the sodding insolent prat attitude suits you too potter " draco rolled his eyes as he lightly dabbed Harry's arm recieving a flinch.

" there's no such external injury here so I think that's a bruise. Think massage would do it " draco frowned to himself

" I feel a little dizzy by the way. Also there's a portion on my neck that is itching quite badly, can I scratch ?" Harry asked innocently.

Draco furrowed his eyebrows before helping harry sit upright and taking a look at the point of his itch.

" those are deep scratches. So no you can't scratch Over. Karen I thought all wounds were cleaned up "

" I did. It must've been because it's on his back I might've missed it. I'm sorry " she hurriedly Apologized

" that wouldn't really qualify you as a healer would It, now, next time don't make the same mistakes. Ms. Adelman across the room needs you by the way " draco said as he dipped some cotton in antiseptic potion and cleansed Harry's wound.

" it's burns ? " Draco asked

" a little " harry grimaced.

" I think you got that from the werewolf " draco whispered as he carefully studied for any bites.

" when will I be free ?" Harry asked impatiently.

" well at this pace not for another two weeks" draco replied as he pushed down his reading glasses and kept the files over the side table.

" no way. I'm not staying for 2 weeks. That's 14 days off work, I can't do that. I'm in the Middle of an important case and-"

" okay save it potter. You have to stay for 2 weeks and it ends there. Your friend Weasley will come by and explain you everything but under my watch, even if you're free you're not allowed to work"

" and who gives you the right?" Harry rolled his eyes frustratingly

" me. As your healer, it is my responsibility to make sure that you only resume when you're wounds are all healed up " draco huffed, annoyed by Harry's childish behaviour to just break free.

" and you think I'd listen to you ?" Harry narrowed his eyes in a glare at Draco.

Draco clenched his jaw before closing his eyes and continuing speaking " you are not going anywhere and that is it, you get me! And if you do try to get away, I will tie you up with shackles without a wand. Now if you're a chain eater or something like that then you'd be successful to break free otherwise not "

" whatever " harry rolled his eyes, again. If draco had one pet peeve, it was people rolling their eyes necessarily on his face and potter seemed to have a death wish.

" look " draco pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed " you don't understand the severity of your injuries. I understand your passion for work and all but not at the risk of health. If you must know you were attacked by a werewolf, the problem however is that we're not sure if you were bitten or not.. it might've been someone who bit you before full moon, basically not a werewolf then but there is a possibility that you're not bitten, the more likely one -"

" but if there's a bite, you should be able to see right ?"

" yes and no. The evolution of werewolves is allowing them to leave very little traces of bites these days which of course does not benefit them nor potentially harm the one bitten. The real reason why we can't figure whether you're bitten or not is because your back Is covered in scratches and if you can't feel them it's because of the numbing potion. And we're done talking. Drink this up quietly"

Harry looked at Draco strangely for a moment before taking the vial from his hand and bottomed up " can I work from here ?"

" no " and draco walked out.

And then it became a thing, harry constantly asking if he could work and draco constantly denying and threatening him that this time he'd definitely put him in shackles. And by the by, interactions between them did get pretty interesting every once in a while when Draco used to check him up late at night before leaving from work.

And one of these days harry shoot his shot "you pretty much always leave late, come early and stay here all day, so I should by now just assume that you're single "

" not that it's any of your business potter " draco absent-mindedly replied as he changed the bandages on Harry's back.

" ha- you didn't deny it. So you are single " harry exclaimed

" sit still "

" sorry "

" why do you care if I date or not ? My personal life Potter " draco said as he changed the bandages on the bottom right of Harry's back, amused for a moment of what he saw something going under his pants. It seemed like a mark, he didn't question it.

"I don't. Just curious " harry shrugged.

" well dearest curious George, I must assume that you're single too since nobody special visited you " draco said as he got up and lightly massaged Harry's sore arm from before. Harry relaxed in his touch before he continued the conversation

" I don't do Dating. Even if I do date someone, it's never about us or the dating in itself, it's just mostly to get into witch weekly or daily prophet under the chosen one's new beau sort of thing "

Draco almost pitied harry for never having found something but decided not to, since he obviously didn't need the pity.

"that sucks " draco hummed " does it hurt still ?" He pressed a little more firmly over the spot

" not much anymore " harry replied " what's your not dating excuse ?"

Draco etched a small smile especially for harry before he told him the truth " it's a bitter world for me out there. I think it's the same as you, you know just the opposite end. It's almost as if i- I'm still a death Eater and people still hate me for that "

Harry pressed his lips in a thin line, never having thought of it. He always thought it must've been easy for Draco to find Someone, with being attractive and working somewhere you're basically helping people all day but it came as a mild shock as it was opposite.

" whoever ends up with would be one lucky person though " harry complimented just in time draco stopped massaging and picked up the vials to give to harry.

" really ? What makes you say that ?" Draco smiled

" because I know you'd do anything to keep that person in your life no matter the cost. And I've seen the good in you, you're not all bad " and with that harry gulped the vial, missing out draco's blushing.

" I think whoever ends up with you would be a lucky one too then " draco said as he finished up aligning the empty vial bottles on a tray to take them away.

" and why's that ?" Harry smiled

" because- it's just you. You're different and you're nice.. think you'd always keep them happy and safe if it were your life on stake. That's just you " draco complimented smiling at harry.

Not as capable as draco, harry turned pink from the compliment " that's nice of you "

Draco should not have been mesmerized but unfortunately he was and it should've been a mistake, but he liked it. And he knew harry enjoyed gazing at him too but the moment Only lasted so long and draco broke free before he could've lost control.

" I should go. Goodnight. Take care " and he left the room.

The next morning draco returned to his room, the first thing he saw was an empty bed until he harry walked in, shirtless.

" y- you can walk " draco said

" yeah. I can " harry smiled.

Gaining his composure back, Draco resumed " and you cleaned up nice, with all the Shaving "

" I figured I'll be leaving in 3 days so better get used to it again " harry replied

Draco stared at harry dumb folded " oh, right, yeah, 3 days "

" so " draco pouted " does it hurt anywhere? Need of change in bandages ? Or anything else?"

" no, I think I'm fine " harry placed his hand over his hips, frowning.

" well, alright then. I'll be going. I'll be checking in on you at the end of the day like a normal healer. Goodbye potter " and he practically ran before his heart might've fell out of his chest, metaphorically ofcourse.

The rest of the day draco got so busy that when the night came, he couldn't visit harry again even if he desperately wanted to but he was so exhausted that he could Barely walk and so by the recommendation of the work counsellor, he got sent off.

The first he did next day was visit harry, who to his surprise was sleeping. So like a normal healer, he checked his bottled of vial, his normal medicines and the bruises and left. When the night came, harry was swamped with his friends that draco couldn't had stayed for more than professional purpose. The next day again when he visited harry, he was tiredly sleeping. Defeated, draco worked all day until again at the end of the night he visited harry to see him sitting with all the files.

" working?" Draco asked as he place his files over the side table and started checking Harry's injuries, which were now almost healed.

" yeah. Filling in for what I missed while being here " harry sighed.

Draco scrunched his eyebrows looking at Harry he retrieved his hands and asked him " do you really enjoy your work though? Like putting your life on line and working immensely over something so exhausting ?"

" do you enjoy your work ?" Harry huffed

" I do. I very much do. It's tiring sometimes yes but I like what I do. It makes me feel nice About myself. Is it the same for you ?"

Harry huffed pushing away the files before Pouring our reality " to tell you the truth, I don't enjoy work. It was all fun in the beginning, the chase and run but now it just seems as if that's all I've been doing my whole life. Running after the bad guys but then that's exactly what everyone expects of me and I can't let them down. So I do exactly what I've been doing, the right thing "

Draco amusingly watched him, as if it was fun story, only it wasn't " my mom always used to say, much before anyone else's you're your own. There's no point in living your life the way people expects. I think they must've have had enough of that already. There's nothing new in the potter magazine you know, the chosen one after the bad guy. Life's too short for the same title harry "

" hey, you called me harry " harry pointed out grinning

" don't I deserve to at least call you by your name after taking care of your lame ass for 2 weeks " draco chuckled.

Harry chuckled " you deserve it, draco "

And draco smiled.

The next morning when harry was finally ready to depart with no ill effects or presence of lycanthropy, he waited until he see'd off draco..

" and I thought I'd almost miss your departure " draco heaved, breathing in harshly..

" nah, I wouldn't had let that happen " harry chuckled..

When Draco finally had his air back he leaned upright looking at harry " it was nice having you here "

" it was nice being here " harry smiled

" so, I guess, I'll see you around then ?" Draco asked awkwardly.

" right, yeah, of course " harry rambled.

" cool then " draco pressed his lips in a thin line, pushing his hands in his coat pocket.

" alright then. Bye " harry hesitated

" oh. Yeah..bye. see you again probably " draco replied

" yeah, might. Bye then "

" bye " and then finally harry stepped back one by one until he reached the door handle and turned around to walk out.

" fuck it " harry whispered under his breath and walked back to draco

" something wrong ?" Draco asked

" you. I don't care how stupid I might sound, but I like you, like I really really like you and I haven't felt his way for someone in a long time and I don't want to blow this away. So draco malfoy would you maybe want to go out with me someday even if I'm a complete insolent prat-"

" okay, yeah "draco grinned

" and I've got attitude problem and you possibly don't feel the same- wait- you said yes?" Harry rambled

" yep. I said yes " draco chuckled.

" oh. Then I'll definitely see you. Outside leaky cauldron, at 7 "

" you definitely will " draco smiled

" okay then" harry grinned as he started walking back again.

" okay "

" okay " harry bit his lip.

" I like you too by the way " draco chuckled

" I really have to go.. but it's good to know " harry chuckled..

" okay " and then harry finally left, after dancing in victory of course.

Requests open

[animealways]

valentine's day

hermione x fem!reader

its part of my serie but you can also see it as a oneshot

the song: all of me

by john legend

prev

you were wachting intently as all the brids flew in the great hall. not because you were nervous about what you would get. you knew your girlfriend would get you something you would love. after all hermione never does something without putting some thought into it. but because you wanted to see how good your gift would be.

you watch your hawk fly towords gryffindor table as you chewed on your breakfast. your pet dropped the photo album, chocolates and flowers you got for her. you had made the album your self, picked the flowers yourself and thanks to dobby help you got permission to use the kitchen to make the chocolate for your girlfriend.

the house elf were a big help since you never really cooked before. it didn't make it any easier that peeves decided to cause choas in the kitchen luckily the bloody baron put his foot down before it got too far. you made sure to thank dobby with some new clothes and his reaction was... alot.

then hermione gifts dropped before you. it was drawing supplies, you favorite candy, a necklace and latest book of your favorite writer. you smiled at your gifts and then looked back at the gryffindor table and saw hermione smile while some crurious gryffindor girls were surrouding her.

you had made sure everything you got her was hand made knowing how much hermione liked it when you went the extra mile for her. you also kinda wanted to show people that you and hermione belong together since you're a slytherin and she a gryffindor it ment people often wonder how you 2 ended up dating.

hermione saw how you smiled at her making her blush. ''Did she made all this herself?'' ginny asked crurious. ''By the looks of it.'' harry said seeing how the photo album was decorated with drawings. ''Who would have thought y/n would be such a romantic?'' ron joked making hermione role her eyes at him. she grabbed the card. Roses are red, violet aren't blue their purple and i don't rhyme. lavender read it out loud and started to laugh along with hermione and everyone els who heard it.

''Pfft, that defnitely from y/n.'' harry chuckled and hermione looked at you from the gryffindor table. you gave her a innocent smile but hermione knew that you are aware why she was looking at you. ''Even on valentine's day she can't stop being cheeky.'' hermione sight but smiled either way. ''Thats why she perfect for you.'' ron retorted. ''You need to relax.'' ''Oh shut it ronald.'' hermione said.

after breakfast you went to your classes and it felt alot longer then usual probably because all you could think of was spending the day with your girlfriend. when class finally was over you went to hermione with a smile. ''Hey, thanks for the gifts.'' you said happily. ''Same goes for you.'' she smiled and you grabbed her hand. ''How are you feeling about the 2nd task?'' ''Pretty well. I got what I need.'' you said calmly since you got the gillyweed after harry asked neville about it. hermione hummed satisfied with your answer. you and hermione went straight to her dorm and changed out of your uniforms. you stayed so often at the gryffindor's dorm. so much infact that hermione had half of your clothes in her closet. and definitely not because she loves to steal your clothes

you grabbed hermione and pulled her into a tight hug making her giggle. ''Clingy aren't you?'' she teased as you kissed her neck. ''I have been waiting all day for this.'' you smiled at her. ''You're so cute. I would almost say like a puppy.'' hermione lead you to her bed and snuggled with her. ''If anybody heard that they think you gone mad.'' you said as you snuggled your face into her chest making her blush.

hermione played with your hair for abit. ''Want me to read you a book?'' you smiled at her and thats all hermione needed to know. she grabbed a muggle childeren fairy tale book. she sat on the bed letting you lay on her and use her chest as a pillow. her voice was so calming, making you melt into her. when hermione finished reading she gave you a kiss on your forehead. ''Accio chocolate.'' she said using wandless magic, something you taught her. the heart shape chocolates you made came out of her bag. ''You made these your self, didn't you?'' you hummed still melting into your girlfriend touch. hermione took a small piece of chocolate humming to the sweet taste.

''I didn't know you could bake.'' ''I can't. The only reason these came out decent is because of dobby help and don't worry I made sure to thank him with some new clothes.''

hermoine nodded at your respond. ''You never cook before?'' you looked up to her. your chin on her chest. ''When my mother was still alive.'' you said softly making hermione slightly frowned. ''I'm sorry.'' she gave you a head pat. ''Its alright.'' you whispered. ''Now are you gonna eat more? It took me 3 hours not including the fact I had to fight off peeves in order to make these for you.'' ''Well I can't agrue with that.'' she chuckled and you smiled at her.

you stared happily at her that was at least until ginny came into the room. ''Sorry to bother you lovebirds but ron and harry needs some notes for potions.'' you sighed as you got off hermione and got the notes out of your bag and handed it to ginny. ginny thanked you and left but not before teasing the 2 of you. ''Remember to cast muffliato.''

----------------------------nsfw aka smut---------------------------------

you rolled you eyes, close the door and saw hermione light blush. you snuggled up with her. ''Hey y/n.'' you hummed looking up at her. ''I-I well...'' she stammered ackwardly becoming more red by the second making you raise a eyebrow. ''What wrong baby?'' you said softly. ''Well I just wanted to ask... What does it feel like to have something inside of you...'' she whispered.

your eyes widened in surprise. you stayed quite for abit not sure what to say. ''N-nevermind its was a weird question...'' ''No,No its isn't just... unexpected.'' hermione avoide looking at you. its true, it was a reasonable question for someone like hermione who never had sex before but you for sure didn't expected it. ''And for your question. It depends, if your relax enough it can feel good but if you don't it can feel bad.'' hermione nodded at your answer but you could tell she wanted know more. ''Kitten, you can ask me anyting you know that, right?''

of course she knew that. its the fact she way to embarrassed to act on it. she stayed quite for a while before speaking up. ''W-what do you like?..'' she said softly making you blush. the 2 of you started talking about each others kinks, what turn you on and off, fetishes. both of you were blushing but hermione was by far more ackward since you could atleast look at her while talking. ''Hermione, does this mean you want to try or get a idea of what I like?''

she became some how even more red when you asked that. it made you wonder how she doesn't have steam coming out of her ears yet. ''I-I want to...'' she admited but you knew there was more. ''I-I'm just not ready yet but w-when I am, I want you to enjoy as well...'' she whispered still looking everywhere but your eyes. you couldn't help but smile at her. ''Awww that so sweet.'' hermione bit her lip not sure what to say. you kissed her on the cheek and laid your head on her shoulder while snuggling your face into her neck.

''Well we can take baby steps to make you more comfortable.'' you sugested making her finally look at you. ''What do you mean?'' ''Do you remember what we did after the yule ball?'' hermione flushed when she remember how... heated it got when you lead her to the astronomy. ''Yeah, I... I like that idea.'' you nodded and the 2 of you looked at each other for abit before you turned to the door locked it with a spell and casted muffiliato. you took off your shirt revealing your bra and hermione stared at you. you sat on her lap and started to kiss her. it didn't take long for either of to get heated like the night after you both left the yule ball.

her hand found her way on to your chest gentely squeezing them making you slightly moan. she kissed your neck and started to suck on your sweet spot. hermione took off her own shirt letting you explore her upper body. you sucked on her upper chest while you hands explored her soft and smooth skin. she whimpered it abit and pulled on your hair causing you to moan into her chest. you smiled when that send a shiver down her spine. ''Y/n I want more.'' she whipered. ''Tell what you want.'' ''Take of my bra.'' she huffed slightly.

you did as you were told hermione sat up and you swiftly took her bra off showing off her bare back and perky boobs. ''So pretty.'' you said softly before attaching your mouth to her nipple. you nibbled on her and sucked on her nipple making hermione moan your name and you smirked. you left hickeys all over her chest and stomache. you pulled away with a string of saliva on your mouth and you looked at her smiling. ''Need a break?'' you asked her gentley and hermione nodded.

--------------------------------sfw------------------------------------------

you got off her and handed her a towel. she cleaned herself and took a good look at all the marks you left. both of you put your clothes back on. hermione look abit flushed. most of the day you 2 spend only with each other. both of you agree to make valentine day relaxing since both of you could use it. the entire day was spend reading, talking about family, magical theory cause you and your girlfriend are massive nerds and whatever els came to your mind.

its was pretty late and hermione was reading a book at her desk. you came into the room and basicly dragged her away. ''Y/n where are we going?'' she asked confused. ''Astronomy tower.'' you said excited. now she understood why you dragged her away. you had made a make shift bed, the stars were out, hermione smelled warm coco and there is a guitar? ''Come on and sit.'' you said while patting 1 of the many pillows you brought. hermione sat down, you grabbed the guitar and hot coco. ''Here.'' she took it and stare at you still abit confused.

What would I do without your smart mouth?

Drawin' me in and you kickin' me out

You've got my head spinnin', no kiddin'

I can't pin you down

What's goin' on in that beautiful mind?

I'm on your magical mystery ride

And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me

But I'll be alright

hermione stare at you surprised. she had no clue you could sing or play guitar. hermione smiled and laid her head on your shoulder as you continued to sing. she couldn't help but feel like she was dreaming, how could this be real? it was a scene straight out of a romance story but then again hogworts is a place full of surprises, just like you are.

My head's under water, but I'm breathing fine

You're crazy and I'm out of my mind

'Cause all of me

Loves all of you

Love your curves and all your edges

All your perfect imperfections

Give your all to me

I'll give my all to you

You're my end and my beginnin'

Even when I lose, I'm winnin'

it was the most relax hermione had felt in years. she never felt so safe and special. she took a sip of her drink as she listen.

'Cause I give you all of me

And you give me all of you, oh-oh

How many times do I have to tell you?

Even when you're crying, you're beautiful too

The world is beating you down, I'm around

Through every mood

You're my downfall, you're my muse

My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues

I can't stop singing, it's ringing

In my head for you

you continued to sing the whole song. when you were done hermione looked at you with hearts in her eyes. ''You never stop surprising me and yes, I do love that about you.'' she said before you could tease her. you chuckled and gave her a forehead kiss. you put the guitar to the side and watch the stars.

''You know why i like the night better?'' ''Well?'' ''We're alone, no judging eyes and we're barely visible. You can make of it whatever you want and no one is there to stop you. It makes me feel free.''

hermione thought about it and realised its true. during the day everyone was there and you didn't know who would bother you but right now. their alone and relax, free from all the judging eyes, away from the burden of every day life. right now, you weren't the underage champion, top student of slytherin, biggest fighter in the school and hermione isn't the brighest witch her age, gryffindors golden girl, head of S.P.E.W. right now the 2 of you are just 2 girls breaking the rules on valetine day. just 2 girls on a nice date looking at the stars and enjoying each others presents.

''I am so lucky to have you.'' you smiled at her and hermione pecked you on the lips. ''I should be saying that, after all you did all this.'' hermione kissed you again it was soft snd gentle but as loving as ever

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