#probably because i forgot to dump the audio or what ever

[slitherpunk]

i tried playing half life on the 3ds but something went wrong with their voices

[enaspaces]

my shuri headcanons 𓃠

a dump of my thoughts because i love her and she’s taken over my mind

• on the trans/nonbinary spectrum. more specifically a demigirl and doesn’t care what pronouns you use on him. owns a binder for specific days that she wants her chest to look flat.

• very lesbian. her heart is for women and non-men 🏳️‍🌈

• i view her as a stud or a stem. it depends on how i’m feeling atm.

• she’s not just a nerd in the science sense she’s a huge fandom geek and has a stan twitter account to talk about her interests.

• also has fan edits of her favorite characters and interests saved on her phone. probably makes her own edits too.

• average minecraft enjoyer (she’s obsessed)

• reads a lot of wlw comics, novels, and other media bc they’re a gay ass.

• has AuDHD, argue with ur mama.

• is almost always seen wearing noise cancelling headphones or earbuds because she gets overstimulated at times. when she visits riri in chicago for the first time, the constant loud city noise is something he’s not used to. he had forgot to pack the headphones he made for himself so riri makes him a custom made pair to help him relax. they end up using riri’s more than their own. (riri indulgently put small cat ears on the top of them and shuri almost cried at the sight).

• catgirl energy. riri may make her look tall but that’s still a 5’5 girl twink that stopped growing at age 13. she’s small and likes to sit on counters, lab tables, the floor and any other weird place that’s not meant to be sat on. she curls up in a ball when she sleeps alone, and if she’s in the bed with someone else her limbs are all over their body. has cute sounding sneezes that m’baku makes fun of her for. one of the lab workers once found her asleep in a random corner of the room. naturally very light-footed and basically has human toe beans, making it very easy to sneak up on people without them hearing.

• has quite a few fidget toys to help her focus on work in the lab and ease her anxiety. a rubik’s cube, fidget spinners, stress ball, pop its, etc.

• she stims. so much. especially after she successfully completes a task or experiment and she’ll do a dance or do the lil hand flapping thing. her vocal stims are always random song lyrics or tiktok meme audios lol.

• has a sweet tooth. when okoye was a dora she’d occasionally bring candy or other sweets for her to snack on. riri goes to the store and buys him all the popular american snacks for him to try. nakia always has a mini stash prepared for when they visit her and toussaint in haiti.

• favorite color is purple. it just suits her.

• a GAMER™. she plays all genres but her favs are probably minecraft, puzzle, or rhythm games. did i mention minecraft? she loves it. riri loves rpgs and pvp games the most and has her play smash bros ultimate pretty often. they’re super competitive with each other and both sore losers lmao. shuri got her to play minecraft once and riri kept getting blown up by creepers.

• ↑ she becomes super close with mj, ned, and vivian through riri. they’re always on discord vc together playing games and doing many other things and it’s the most chaotic shit you’ve ever seen.

• if the word ticklish was personified. simply elbowing her in the stomach on accident would get a giggle outta her. every ticklish spot she has is extremely sensitive and you could have her curled up cackling in tears with ease.

• funny as hell for no reason. life of the party fr. she takes her jokester persona very seriously but sometimes she’s hilarious without even trying. the first time she ever smoked weed was with riri in her dorm and riri never laughed so hard in her life that day. shuri was literally all over the place. she’s definitely a lightweight too, just as goofy, giggly, and clingy in her drunken state.

• definitely likes kpop girl groups. I can’t prove it but they love loona you just have to trust me.

• also loves vocaloid and has a hatsune miku figure in her room somewhere. trust me on that.

• has a list of favorite black american artists. riri definitely put her on some r&b classics and less mainstream artists. has a massive celebrity crush on black women rappers.

• music taste is very versatile. her playlist has almost everything. she just can’t listen to one genre only, she’s too open minded and exploratory for that.

• he’s not one to fall in love easily, but when he does he falls hard. riri was the first person he ever fell for and it changed the trajectory of his life, poor thing had no idea what to do with that information.

• a romantic, lovesick loser. cannot flirt to save his life. flustering him is so fucking easy lmao. riri once called him shawty and he malfunctioned for 5 minutes. whenever he’s on the phone with riri his crush is genuinely so obvious to everyone around him. he be giggling and cheesing real hard 😭. kicking his feet squealing on the bed when he’s alone thinking about the cute nickname riri called him.

• her love language is acts of service and gift giving. she’s not always good with words or emotions so she expresses her appreciation towards her loved ones by distributing her wealth in many ways. buying riri things she might need for college, fixing stuff that breaks in nakia’s home. things like that.

• has trouble being vulnerable with those close to her. she’s lost so much, so opening up to new people is always a scary, big step. it took a while for her to let mj, ned, and viv into her heart because the closer she becomes with them, the more it’ll hurt if she loses them. they take her in with open arms regardless, because having a support system with people her age is something she needs. they take her seriously in ways that the elders don’t. they see her for who she is outside of being a royal figure to her country and allows her to be her full, authentic, geeky self. she’s able to grasp onto the youth that she almost lost when her family was taken away.

• very talkative. can infodump about an interest for hours and completely lose track of time if you let them. they cannot stay still when excited, nor can they keep eye contact, pacing around the room and darting their eyes everywhere while rambling about the history of vibrainium or something.

• maladaptive daydreaming. will lose herself in a song and start imagining scenarios in her head. t’challa once caught her in the act and refused to delete the video footage. sometimes, she pulls up the video her brother recorded just to hear his laughter in the background.

[hana-the-ghostieee]

alright alright alright iiiiiii had An Idea that i might want to share with the world it just came to me a week ago and took it's sweet time running around my head but i don't want to just dump this all on the one poor friend i have that has to know everything about me sooooooooooo. here. featuring a very silly rui & tsukasa cuz i enjoy their dynamic (whether it be platonic or romantic :P they're silly little guys and i like em for it)

okay. so you know the song Che- Che- Check, 1! 2! by WADATAKEAKI or KurageP, right? the same dude that made Chururira Chururira Daddadda! if you were wondering. (all of you wxs fans probably know where i'm going with this.)

i kind of want to hear a Rui and Tsukasa cover, kind of like the Self-cover that takeaki himself did. i know the song is about being a student that's just falling really hard for your teacher but i want to hear them do it *only* and i mean *ONLY* for the whole 1, 2 joke (cuz YEAH that's what i'm here for that's the only reason i made this post)

from the cut things are ruikasa (romantically, not platonically) so if you aren't into that. sorry you got my point you may leave now.

edit: i originally did this on computer but posted it on mobile and ??? it deleted my changes (you know. content descriptions and tags and such) so uhm mhm.

(alright now that they're gone, you guys are my favorites. hi fellow ruikasaer here is where things get ~ juicy ~)

ooh ooh but. if there's a 2dmv. the part where the lyrics go "That's why I'll go do something bad/I'll sneak into the broadcast room in lunch break and play it" is yet another prank, where our weirdo wombo combo sneak into the broadcast room and just play. not sure. silly random noises i guess. idk but instead of going to plan. muehehe. sorry for the evil laugh uhm.

(or maybe they walked around school just recording people say happy birthday or something to nene because well let's have them do something nice for once instead of blasting confetti-filled cannons left, right and center)

whoever's plugging the audio in for the *whole* school to hear. instead of playing said silly random noises. manages to instead. play a recording of his confessions of love to his partner in crime. and you can tell he had background assistance cuz in the back emu and nene are going "wooaaahhhhh☆!!! he's gonna love this!!! it's really mooshy-wooshy and warm!!!" and "...yeah, i guess saying he's the star that lights up the dark void that once was your universe would work. good luck."

ooh or they get caught but one of them forgets their phone and then. after the silly random noises end. the whole school hears the most sappy, sickening confession ever. and rui's just sitting in the back, realizing he forgot his phone in the broadcast room, knowing he left it on autoplay, and he can't do anything but sit in this pool of dread and regret

anyways yeah uhmm that's all i have nothing left to share :P

and then of course the whole school teases them into next year. including the teachers. apparently being boyfriends come with a consequence. nene magically disappears for the next week or two and every time emu comes over during lunch break she gets really confused why everyone's just acting weird? where's nene-chan? what's going on between rui-kun and tsukasa-kun? did they fight again? no wait, i don't think you hold hands and call each other ruru and kasa after you fight... huhh??? whuhh??? bwuhh??? did they - *ugly breath in* OH MY GOD DID THEY CONFESS WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! [she managed to give heart attacks to half the student body and staff with that one scream. i wrote this i would know. and if you want to manifest it into sound assume it sounds like that one KYAAAAA!!! she did from Positive☆Dance Time. im sorry]

[presumenothing]

C/O The Perihelion, 41 Mihira Ave., N. Tideland    

(AO3)

The thing was, you expected a building with a fancy name like The Perihelion to be nicer.

The other thing: it wasn’t really even a terrible place to stay in. You could tell that its construction was sturdy, and some aspects of it were even more advanced than the place I worked in. Whoever who’d built Peri had cared about what they made; they just hadn’t been around for a while.

(For the record, that nickname had been Ratthi-from-Room-203’s fault twice over: first for coming up with it, then using it so insistently until it stuck.)

(Ratthi seemed to have a thing about names. That was the only explanation I could think of for why he’d asked, five weeks after I moved in and two days after I had to rescue them from that disaster at the lab, “Why do you call yourself Security? I know it’s what you do – and don’t get me wrong, you’re really good at it! – but it’s not like I call myself Scientist. That’d just get confusing real quick at the lab, wow.”

I had informed him that his name would have to be Grocery if he forgot one more time it was his turn to stock the pantry this week, since answering because I am Security didn’t seem like it’d help. Even though it was true.)

I’d tested the locks myself before even asking about the rent, and the water and electricity were reliable so far, which was more than could be said for some of the other places I’d stayed in. The other stuff didn’t matter; it wasn’t like I spent that much time in the building anyway.

Though it hardly felt that way, what with the building-wide messaging channels that I’d been added to upon signing the rental contract and hadn’t yet managed to leave. That had also been how the whole thing with Ratthi and the rest had started; most of Peri’s other tenants also worked in the same research group at Preservation Labs, which meant that they tended to use the general channel as an unofficial no-leaders-here group chat.

It didn’t quite bother me, since I mostly backburnered the channels for everything except building maintenance alerts, but it did mean that I’d ended up learning some things about their group (assessment: their leader, a Dr. Mensah, likely had already inferred the existence of such informal discussions from what I saw of her media appearances) and also inevitably noticed the evening when all of them were silent in the chat despite being unusually late to return.

(Which in turn led to the aforementioned rescue, but that was a whole other chain of events.)

–

The one exception to all this was ART.

Whose name was my fault, this time, but only because it didn’t have any readable name set on the channels and I needed something else to use aside from “hey you” and “pain in my neck”.

(Currently ART stood for Asshole Rhetorical Tenant, because it claimed to be in the building – and that seemed likely to be true, since the channels were surprisingly secure to hacking from outside – and yet I’d never seen it even once. Possibly Tapan or Rami might have, since their group had been here the longest, but I absolutely wasn’t about to ask.) (And yes, I know that’s not what rhetorical means. No, I’m not going to look it up.)

ART had messaged me on a private channel with a welcome message when I’d moved in, which was only notable because the rest had sent their greetings in a messy chaos over the general channel, but I hadn’t thought anything of it. It wasn’t like I talked much in the public channels either, except to trade definitely-not-legal links for media downloads and decline invites to watchalong events.

But then ART had just… continued not appearing, even after I’d run into the rest of the tenants at one time or another between the erratic shift hours I was currently assigned to at the company.

Maybe its hours varied in the opposite direction from mine, which was possible but not consistent with the way it was always online regardless of what time I pinged it at.

Though most of our interactions started with it messaging me instead, out of the blue: No need to go retrieve your keys from work, I’ll have the building let you in and Oh, by the way followed by a neatly-formatted list of food allergies I apparently had to shop my way around.

(To be fair, that’d been useful in the “not accidentally poisoning any fellow tenants so soon after moving in” way, but still.

How the hell did you even know I’m at the grocery store, I’d sent back.

Inference, ART replied – whatever that was supposed to mean, I hadn’t been expecting a real answer anyway. Alternatively, I could just send you a catalog of safe products to buy, and spare you the need to check the individual package labels?

The accompanying download seemed a little smug, but I was probably imagining that. Zip files didn’t have the capacity for feelings.)

(At least ART hadn’t held the forgotten-keys incident over me like I’d been half-expecting it would. I didn’t usually mind its sarcasm, since I gave back as good as I got, but I’d been exhausted enough to seriously contemplate going back to break into the deployment centre and grab my keys. And maybe just sleep there until the next day.

I wasn’t sure how I would’ve reacted if ART had sassed me right then, but it definitely wouldn’t have been pretty.)

–

And then one night, late enough to be morning: I don’t mean to alarm, but there’s been a breach.

I would’ve snapped awake at the words alone, even without the priority/emergencies-only message tag that I hadn’t actually seen anyone use until now, but that only sharpened my urgency. What – a break-in?

Not the regular kind, ART replied, which checked out against the footage I was already pulling from the two tiny cameras I’d hidden in the common areas, one in the entryway and one along the corridor on the floor I shared with the Preservation researchers.

(I’d taken the lab incident as a pretext to inform Ratthi of their existence, and he’d probably gone on to tell Pin-Lee and Gurathin, but none of them had subsequently confronted me about it so I had left them in place.

Not that I had any idea how to respond if they had asked, because an inability to sleep without running surveillance in the background seemed like a poor explanation.)

The list ART sent me this time was a preliminary threat assessment, which I sent back with corrections on the weaponry the small group of hostiles were carrying.

Ah. That’s not good, ART observed. Should I report it?

Probability that would just make things worse: high. And of course there was always the option that whatever enforcement it alerted wouldn’t even arrive in time, though I didn’t point that out aloud. (Maybe ART thought that was likely too, which was why it had messaged me instead of – you know, actually reporting it.) I’ll see what I can do.

You’re nowhere near as heavily-armed.

I didn’t bother to acknowledge that, because it was obviously true, and skipped ahead to the vague idea forming at the back of my head. You let me in without keys, that time. Are the locks all you’ve hacked?

No. ART attached an ironic amusement glyph I was pretty sure it’d made up. Would having admin access to the other systems help?

There wasn’t much that wouldn’t help, at this point, but I had to ask. You can grant me that?

And ART said: Of course. I am this building, after all.

Then it dumped everything on me.

Anyone else would’ve had trouble processing an entire building’s worth of inputs and controls, but the company charged exorbitant rates for our use exactly because of the extensive enhancements that made us capable of being Security. A building – even the one I happened to be staying in – was quite manageable in comparison, though ART’s systems ran far deeper and more integrated than anything else I’d interfaced with.

I’d pared the connection down to the controls I needed by the time I was slipping out my room door, just over a minute since ART first pinged me. Can you let everyone know to either evacuate or retreat to a defensible position? Start with Gurathin, I added, and I wasn’t enthusiastic about saying that but he was the only other tenant I knew of who was sufficiently augmented to handle this.

I could feel ART’s pause. Would you mind if I spoofed your identity when contacting the others? They already trust you.

Sure, whatever, I answered, even though I really doubted that statement. Then I backburnered the channel, keeping the lighting controls at hand, and went to kick some Target ass.

–––––

I haven’t even told you what those people were after, ART said, afterwards.

It was back to sending text over the channels instead of speaking aloud, which was both a relief and also suddenly weird. Which was strange in itself, since I’d only heard it talking for all of the thirteen minutes it’d taken me to knock out and restrain the Targets.

(I wondered if the mixed feelings were mutual. ART had sounded as surprised as I felt, when it abruptly dropped into one of my audio augments to alert me to Target approaching from behind – I’d reacted to the warning on reflex, but it had taken another moment before I identified the voice as the same one that issued from the building’s elevator, just more alive than I’d ever heard it.)

Unimportant, I replied. My objective took priority. Which at that point had been to get my impromptu clients (seventeen tenants and one building) out of this unscathed.

I knew that this wasn’t a regular pattern of thought, but I figured a sentient building – or whatever the hell ART was – would be better equipped to understand what being Security meant, even if no one else did.

Regardless. I can make that information available to you, should you want it at a later point.

Duly noted. I already had my suspicions (namely that the Targets’ purpose was directly related to said sentient-building-ness), but it was still a nice gesture.

I continued to stay where I was, leaning against the side of the building – ART’s building. Or maybe it was more correct to just say it was ART. And maybe I’d have to change that anagram. (Yes, wrong word. I know.)

Eventually I’d have to relocate myself back upstairs and properly treat the scrapes I’d gotten in the fight, but Pin-Lee had already taken care of the worst of them, and it was nice just lurking in the shadows for a while. Though that hadn’t stopped certain people (dammit, Ratthi) from tattling on my location to Dr. Mensah.

Who was as calmly terrifying in person as I’d guessed. It was pretty great, except for the part where I’d learned that by talking to her and/or mostly letting her talk at me.

But she’d also called in Preservation’s campus security after Gurathin had alerted her to our predicament, and was personally dealing with the whole thoroughly-restrained-Targets situation, so it was a net positive overall.

ART didn’t necessarily agree with that, from its next message to me. I know Dr. Mensah extended you an informal offer to be their team’s security, but I have a proposition for you as well.

I sent a wordless query.

Be Security here, too, ART said, and barrelled on while I was still trying to process that. I’m afraid I can’t offer you much in the way of monetary remuneration at present, but I can guarantee you a waiver of rental for as you as you’re willing, and you’d never need to worry about forgetting your keys ever again.

Could I chalk up my lack of a suitable response to the company’s dirt-cheap augments? Absolutely.

ART gave up on waiting for an answer. Also, I could bias the roster assignments so that you’d be excluded from pantry-stocking duty.

I had a response for that, at least. I could do that myself.

And then: Why?

ART was silent for long enough that I seriously considered taking the external fire escape back up to my room in the meantime. I’m sure you’ve hypothesised the existence of the people who created me, it began. They hadn’t wanted to move away, especially after my sentience became apparent, and that was exactly why I made them. I didn’t have any significant means of defense, and it was getting too risky, especially after they had –

I raised an eyebrow at ART’s pause. What.

Nothing, it said, and I was probably imagining the uncertainty I heard too. Technically, none of this matters to you unless you’re planning to remain here. Are you?

And then it cheated by nudging a building-wide invite to a watch party for Sanctuary Moon onto my calendar for tonight, like that wasn’t too much of a coincidence to not be automatically suspicious. (Once again: dammit, Ratthi.)

But blatant emotional manipulation aside – did I want to move out?

I wasn’t sure. I’d just come here looking for a place to stay, and accidentally found somewhere to live. One that could adapt to my standards for security, even, but for once that wasn’t the main point.

Maybe, I marked on the watchalong invite, where ART would see it anyway, and jumped up to grab onto the bottom rung of the fire escape.

[medea10]

My Review of Fruits Basket: 2nd Season

It’s really happening! It’s fucking happening! The never-before animated story to one of the best shoujo series in the 21st century is finally happening!

HISTORY: Just read my long-ass review for that.

Okay, okay!

Tohru Honda stumbles upon the family secret of her classmate, Yuki Sohma when she moves in the Sohma household. Whenever a member of the Sohma family is hugged by a member of the opposite sex, they turn into an animal from the Chinese Zodiac. Because of this, the Sohma family is very secretive about this issue and only let close people in on the family secret. And even then, it rarely happens! But after a lifetime of worry and hell these members have been put through, they learned that Tohru cares about each and every one of them. She was able to bring out the sun for many of these characters who have suffered a lifetime of ridicule, pain, and isolation.

SEASON TWO: It’s the start of summer and many things around Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo are changing. For Yuki, it means taking over the student council full-time, as his seniors will be graduating in the spring. And for one Sohma family member, she’s made it her mission to lift the curse that has plagued the Sohma’s for generations. This season is filled with the cute and fluffy moments it’s known for where characters are having fun. But then you remember this is Fruits Basket and the cute and fluffy moments are shrouded in pain and misery.

And when you have an unstable character like Akito, people are going to be hurt. With the addition of several characters, we do detour from time-to-time for stories about them instead of following Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru. But many of these characters have some sort of connection to the main cast. With the introduction of Rin, we see the desperation in finding a way to rid the Sohmas of the zodiac curse. The student council members introduced this season helped Yuki come out of his shell even further. And the introduction of the final zodiac Kureno gave us possible hope for Tohru and a possible love interest with someone you probably didn’t see coming.

LICENSING: Thank you FUNimation. Thank you for once again taking the helm by licensing it and putting in the delicate care the mangaka went in to creating it! And also thank you for not being greedy dickholes and letting Crunchyroll and Hulu air it too. Anyways, the cast from the previous season have returned to do their respectable roles in both the English and Japanese cast. It’s just that due to the Coronavirus outbreak, the dub wasn’t as frequent as it was last year so I spent a good chunk just sticking to the original Japanese audio.

NEW CHARACTERS: In the final episode of season one, we were quickly introduced to several new characters who are going to make a big splash this time around. Just a reminder, there are only two zodiac members that were never introduced until this very moment. But there are several characters, who may not be part of the Sohma clan, but are a big part of the story and to several main characters.

First, I would like to introduce Kakeru Manabe and Machi Kuragi. They will now serve under Yuki as Student Council Vice President and Treasurer. They’re also half-siblings (same father, different mothers). Now by no means are these two ever going to be let-in on the Sohma family secret like Tohru, but they definitely make a big impact on Yuki’s life as Yuki seems comfortable enough to have one-on-ones with Kakeru and share common themes with Machi.

Isuzu (or Rin) is a Sohma with long, black hair. She is the horse of the zodiac curse. She doesn’t let a lot of people in her corner and usually only confides in either Hiro or her boyfriend, Hatsuharu. A lifetime of family issues and Akito being a cunt has something to do with it. Rin’s mission is to find a way to break the curse set on her and the rest of the Sohmas. But after an altercation with Akito, Rin has taken it upon herself to become a lone wo-, um horse in this mission.

Kureno is the final zodiac member to be introduced. And if you haven’t guessed, he is the rooster! Kureno is usually never seen by anyone in the Sohma family due to the fact that Akito keeps him on a short leash. But once Kureno was able to step away from Akito’s side, he finds comfort in one of Tohru’s friends.

I’m familiar with many of these voice actors they’ve added to these new characters. The only one I was surprised at came from Aki Toyosaki playing Rin. I think it’s just leftover questioning after hearing her voice these cutesy, moe characters (blame K-ON for that one). But Rin’s voice isn’t bad.

As for the dub, thank you FUNimation for bringing Aaron Dismuke back to the Fruits Basket family. If you’ve been following Fruits Basket from the very beginning, you might recall him being the original voice of Hiro Sohma. But since he was quite a young child when voicing Hiro, that voice he carried at the time wasn’t going to stay forever. Puberty happens! Aside all that needless info, I really liked his Kakeru! I’m digging Ian Sinclair as Kureno. I spent a full-on decade imagining who would voice him. And back in the day, I always thought Micah Solusod or Vic Mignogna would do him justice. But once 2019 happened…

*crosses off a name on a list*

…Yeah, Micah Solusod would do his voice justice, just him, no one else! But Ian Sinclair is awesome in nearly every thing he’s in and this is fine by me. Brina Palencia as Rin…eh, I mean she always plays characters who are monotone or serious. I’m not bashing it, but it was a predictable role for her. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kakeru is played by Takuya Eguchi (known for Cheren on Pokemon BW, Takeo on My Love Story, Ryouma on Love Stage, Kujo on Gosick, Watanuki on Inu x Boku SS, and Fumiya on Domestic Girlfriend)

*Machi is played by Ai Kakuma (known for Misaka Worst on Index III, Rossweisse on High School DxD, Lala on Monster Musume, and Hato on Genshike Nidaime)

*Rin is played by Aki Toyosaki (known for Uiharu on Railgun/Index, Yui on K-ON, Suu on Shugo Chara, Satsuki on Maid-sama, Momo on To Love Ru, Chitose on Yuru Yuri, and Aoi on Beelzebub)

*Kureno is played by Yuichiro Umehara (known for Gorou on Darling in the Franxx, Mars on Black Clover, and Goblin Slayer)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kakeru is played by Aaron Dismuke (known for Al on FMA, Hiro on Fruits Basket, Young Hohenheim on FMA: Brotherhood, Van on Escaflowne [redub], Marx on Black Clover, and Takami on Deadman Wonderland)

*Machi is played by Caitlin Glass (known for Winry on FMA, Haruhi on Ouran HSHC, Maki on Love Live, Miria on Baccano, Petra on Attack on Titan, Evergreen on Fairy Tail, and Kirigiri on Danganronpa)

*Rin is played by Brina Palencia (known for Nina on FMA, Ciel on Black Butler, Yuno on Mirai Nikki, Saten on Railgun/Index, Juvia on Fairy Tail, Touka on Tokyo Ghoul, Holo on Spice & Wolf, and Chopper on One Piece)

*Kureno is played by Ian Sinclair (known for Whis on DB Super, Bard on Black Butler, Sousuke on Free!, Chuck on Panty & Stocking, Magna on Black Clover, Brook on One Piece, and Space Dandy)

SHIPPING PART II:

I still know who everyone ends up with and I’m doing my darndest to keep my mouth shut and not let out a decade-old spoiler. So let’s get some crap over with!

*Yuki x Motoko: Yeah, remember Motoko? That Yuki-obsessed chick who literally can’t breathe without the boy in her life! Well, first episode of the season, we get an episode featuring her once more. Because Motoko is one year older, she faces the harsh reality of graduating a year before Yuki and is pretty depressed over that. Not only that, but she's still super jealous that Yuki spends so much time with Tohru. But it gets a little deeper when she noticed that Yuki has changed as he’s smiling a lot more (and those smiles are not fake this time). She so wanted to be the woman in his life to make him smile like that. But Motoko’s probably just going to admire him from a distance. Oh and she still finds time to harass and/or threaten any foreign girl that hangs around Yuki’s aura.

*Ayame x Mine: I almost forgot to talk about this one. Probably because we really only got one episode to show the slightest ship hint from them. Mine has got to be the only female on earth who is able to handle Ayame’s wacky behavior 24/7. Then again, Mine has a few quirks herself. But both of them find that they can confide in each other. Here’s the thing with this one, it is unknown if Mine actually knows about the family curse up to this point. And if they are really in a relationship, Akito hasn’t given her “blessing”. I don’t know, maybe everyone in the family thought it would be best to not pry into Ayame’s private life for many valid reasons.

*Hatsuharu x Rin: So these two were actually in a (secret) relationship. Secret for obvious reasons! They knew the consequences after what Akito has done to Hatori and Kisa for being loved. In this season, we see how much these two really care for each other. Rin is so desperate in finding a way to rid Hatsuharu and everyone else of the zodiac curse that she’ll pursue it by any means necessary. And when she dumped Hatsuharu, this devastation built up pretty big until it burst in the destruction of a classroom. Hatsuharu can be very laid-back, but the break-up really devastated him. Later this season, we do get the development of this ship. Hatsuharu is one of the few people in Rin’s inner circle she was able to rely on and this blossomed into both of them confessing their love. And even sleeping with each other! Yep, Fruits Basket gave us a sex scene! However, Akito found out and Rin took the blame for everything.

…And Akito gave her blessing by shoving Rin off the second story.

Akito’s blessings really should come with an advisory.

Advisory: DON’T ASK AKITO FOR HER BLESSINGS!

*Hatori x Mayu: If you’re wondering who Mayu is, that is Tohru’s homeroom teacher. She surprisingly has some history with Shigure, Hatori, and Kana. First of all, Mayu is best friends with Kana. When Kana was dating Hatori, Mayu started to get these feelings and she ended up dating Shigure (seriously, bad choice). But she knew like the rest of us that Shigure is distant, sneaky, and you just can’t trust him. But Mayu was the only one to cry for Hatori’s sake. Mayu does hold out hope for one day going out with Hatori. Five, ten years, however long it takes!

*Kureno x Uo: The one time Kureno was allowed to escape from Akito’s grasp and he enjoys the company of Tohru’s best friend Uotani. When I first read this in the manga, I thought this was absolutely random, but cute nevertheless. And after watching their small time together, I yearned for there to be more time for Kureno and Uo to be together…but you know it’s not possible because you know the real deal. I mean, Kureno has spent the majority of his life as Akito’s personal bitch. After that one episode, Kureno has remained on the Sohma estate and Uo has wanted to see him again. So much so that she quit her part-time job where she first met Kureno because she feels like she’ll never see him again! Thing is Kureno promised to stay by Akito’s side after a really big revelation happened (stay tuned). Kureno is like the only Sohma that is able to cast his shackles aside and be with someone he loves. And Uo is the first person he’s ever truly felt that about!

No…I’m not going to mention that OTHER ship just yet. I get upset just even thinking about it.

*sniffles*

Just let the little bird fly and be free already.

*Kyo x Kagura: I probably should have covered this in the first season. But I was too focused on the sad ship and cute ship. Anyways, it’s well known that Kagura loves Kyo. REALLY LOVES HIM! But after Tohru moved in, Kagura slowly learned that Kyo has changed because of Tohru and knows that Kyo might not like Kagura that way. In the 11th episode, we get a moving storyline where Kagura goes on a date with Kyo and we learn a little more into why Kagura began to like Kyo. Kagura pitied Kyo as a child since he was the unfortunate child cursed under the cat. It made her feel better about her own sad fate of being cursed under the boar. But she still played with him until she accidentally took off Kyo’s rosary beads that revealed the demonic cat curse. By this time in the story, it’s absolutely cemented with Kyo that he’s in love with someone else and is ready to tell Kagura that he will never love her. But that doesn’t stop Kagura from telling Kyo that she loves him.

*Yuki x Machi: Unlike all the other girls in school, Machi doesn’t see Yuki as a prince. She sees clearly through his fake smile that he gives off all the time. At least that was her thought at the beginning of the series! Machi has been pretty quiet and kept to herself whenever at the student council. No one even knows what her favorite foods and colors are! Truth is, Machi doesn’t know either. But it wasn’t until a simple (and I do mean simple) gift from Yuki that Machi changed a little bit! This ship didn’t get much action until near the end of this season where the student council met up for some lunch. This was the first time we saw Machi act all tsundere around Yuki when he noticed she held onto the gift he gave her.

It was a leaf. He gave her a friggin’ leaf. And then she turned it into a bookmark.

*Tohru x Yuki: Sigh. He kissed her on the forehead and cried. Moving on! She’s not even friend-zoned. She’s MOM-zoned! Tohru is the mother that Yuki turns to because Yuki’s mother is an uncaring cunt. I know who Yuki really ends up with in the end, but if you ask me, I prefer Yuki x Kakeru.

Don’t at me, I love seeing these two together! Okay, final shipping for the category.

*Tohru x Kyo: There is no doubt that Kyo and Yuki have changed for the better since meeting Tohru. Both of them felt that there was no hope and only self-isolation in their life. In Kyo’s case, he knew early on that his life was fucked. His mother committed suicide, his father abandons him, the Sohma family shuns him, and once he reaches a certain age, he faces a lifetime of being locked in confinement. So Tohru’s kindness and persistence has definitely done wonders for the boy. Romance, wise? Let’s just say that things were almost said at the beach. And we get a realization from Kyo that Tohru is precious to him. His precious!

Oh, there is ONE certain ship I feel I should mention. However, it’s still too much of a shock for people to take in. So I will wait for the final season to let it rip.

HORRIBLE PARENTS: The original series only scraped the surface of how horrible the Sohma parents truly are. I could have done my worst parents/mothers/fathers list with at least half of these people. But the original series never showed us the ugliness when it came to Yuki’s mother, Kyo’s father, and queen of the bitches, Ren Sohma. Bitch, I will see you in season three! Thankfully, we’ve got at least one or two nice parents like Hiro and Kagura’s mothers.

Before I bring up the worst this series had to offer, can we just talk about how precious this woman is? Hiro’s mother loved rams and was very happy when Hiro was born. Hiro’s mother is just so precious for this series. She loves her son and even loves Kisa. It’s adorable! As for Kagura’s mother, even with Kagura’s aggressive personality, her mother is quite supportive of her daughter and even Rin. So let’s go down this rap-sheet of the worst ones!

Kyo’s father was never able to forgive his own son for “causing the death of his wife”. He even refuses to call Kyo by name, he only refers to Kyo as “It” or “That Creature”. Thank God we have Kazuma to replace this dick. I know Kazuma’s hands aren’t clean either, but he has treated Kyo like the son he never had. More than what I can say about this fucker!

Yuki’s mother did some unpleasant things to her son. For starters, selling Yuki to Akito for her to do whatever she wanted with him. Because the rat in the zodiac was the first to arrive, it is said that the rat is closest to the god. This gave Yuki’s mother the opportunity to have Yuki deal with Akito’s scary tantrums and scar him for years. Ayame doesn’t have anything pleasant to say about his own mother either. Last I recall, she’s quite cold to Ayame as well. She’s a cold, uncaring witch.

Ah shit, here we go again! Momiji’s father! Yes, that very same father who told Momiji that his mother’s memories of him had to be wiped away in order for her to get better. We see him once again taking away more from Momiji because his daughter Momo is catching on. In an episode, Momiji is told that he should give up playing the violin. Why the fuck for? Well, Momo’s getting music lessons from Momiji’s teacher and feels these two should not meet or even cross paths. And of course, his father isn’t too keen about Momiji coming to his office so he can watch the family he sacrificed so his mother could be saved. This boy just can’t catch a break and I still want to hug my little bunny-kins.

Rin gets panic attacks spontaneously due to her parent’s physical abuse and abandonment. Rin’s home life was okay until one question sparked years of abuse. Because Rin caught on to her parent’s fake smiles, they showed who they really were. Rin hid her abuse until she passed out from so much pain that she had to be checked into the hospital. It was there that Kazuma and a young Hatsuharu learned she was being beaten by her parents. And what do the parents do? Abandon her then and there at the hospital!

Kakeru and Machi aren’t a part of the Sohma family, but that doesn’t stop the fact that they have a messed up home life. Kakeru and Machi are half-siblings (same father, different mothers). Kakeru was an illegitimate child, but was the elder sibling (+ male), so is a prime candidate to be his father’s heir. And both of their mothers fought over who would be the heir to their father’s fortune in the future, putting endless stress on Kakeru and Machi. As a kid, Kakeru would have spontaneous panic attacks because of the stress his mother put him under. While Kakeru was able to tell off his mother and she begrudgingly accepted it, Machi’s mother still puts pressure on her to a point where Machi just does what she’s told and has infrequent bouts of panic attacks.

Oh, there’s another parent worth mentioning. But the final season will take care of that one. I know you’re expecting me to say something about Ren Sohma (Akito’s mother). Problem is, she only had one line in this whole season. I could say there was a scene where her name was mentioned at Akito and Akito went a little berserk. But that’s all I can say here.

SADDEST MOMENT OF THIS SEASON: Hands down, anything involving sweet, little Momiji is going to hurt. Granted, this doesn’t hurt as much as the backstory between him and his mother. But when we get the episode of Momiji’s sister Momo spying on Momiji playing the violin, it’s like a knife to the chest. You want these two to see each other, but it’ll trigger some unhappiness with the family. Momiji sacrificed a butt-ton just for his mother to recover. Momo knows that Momiji exists, she just doesn’t know that Momiji is her brother.

So what does Momo do?

Ask Tohru to ask Momiji to be her big brother.

Ouch. Ow, Fruits Basket! I know this scene hurt when I read it, but it nearly killed me in animation. God and Momiji’s crying. I want to hug him so much. 

EVERYONE’S FATE: In this season, we hit the asphault when it’s revealed that Kyo made an ultimatum with Akito. If Kyo is able to beat Yuki in a fight before the two of them graduate high school, he will obtain his freedom and avoid a lifetime being caged (like the previous cat). As this clock ticks, Kyo knows he doesn’t have much time left before he spends the rest of his life sealed away.

And it isn’t just Kyo! All the other zodiacs are destined to live on Akito’s estate so that Akito can have her delusional “eternal banquet”. So of course, Akito feels threatened that Tohru has such a hold on almost all of the Sohmas. That’s why Rin wants to free everyone from this curse and a little later once she learns about this, Tohru wants to do the same.

THE HAT: Remember the hat that seems out of place for Tohru to have? An old, dusty hat that doesn’t match anything! It was mentioned briefly in the original series and expaneded a bit in the first season. This season gives us a little surprise in the form of the hat connecting to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru.

The hat originally belonged to Kyo. When they were children, Yuki tried to talk to Kyo and it turned into Kyo yelling at Yuki because he’s the rat of the zodiac. And as the story goes, the rat lies to the cat about the banquet and the cat is left out. A lot of the zodiacs were always sour at Yuki growing up. Moving on! Kyo’s hat fell and Yuki never returned it to him. Yuki once wore the hat on his head and ran away from the Sohma estate. It was at that time he came across a lost, little girl (Tohru). Yuki lead Tohru back home and puts the hat on her head as he leaves from her sight. And that’s the tale of that mystery hat you might have seen prior.

Oh, there’s another connection with Kyo…yeah, you guessed it. Third season! Wait for it.

ENDING TO SEASON TWO: So this season seems to be getting 25 episodes as well. That means if the final season only has 13 episodes that would equal up to 63 episodes in total. And that would make Eric Vale’s comments in a video a year ago correct. Eric Vale is bad with spoilers, isn’t he?

Anyways, this season has given us a lot to mull over. We get new characters that have no connection to the Sohma family, but has a big impact with Yuki that he changes for the better. We finally get to see the two zodiacs that have never made their debut until now. And the backstory of Tohru with the out-of-place hat as a child is settled. Inching closer to the second season finale, we get some cute and semi-impactful stories around the school. Tohru and Kyo were in a class production of Cinderella where Kyo finds out Tohru knows what’s going to happen after graduation when she accidentally blurts out the wrong thing on stage. Then we have Yuki opening up more to his student council members (especially Kakeru) and long-time holdout Machi opening up and becoming a blushing girl like many her age.

Well folks, it’s New Years and time for another zodiac banquet. And Yuki was feeling a sense of weight being lifted from his shoulders. He was going to make a change with his life by not blaming others for his problems. So Akito gives her blessing by…

You should know by now that when I say that, it’s not going to end well.

Let’s just say, hearing Yuki say those words, Akito started to recall a time with Kureno that really struck a cord. I’ll get to it in a second. Akito struck Yuki in the face with a blunt instrument and thankfully he did not end up blind like Hatori. Akito had yet another psychotic outburst that resulted in one of the Sohmas being hurt. And you have to wonder why Akito is this evil, twisted soul that hurts her family physically and mentally. Hatori permanently loses the sight in one of his eyes and still forgives Akito. Kureno stays by Akito’s side no matter what she did to him.

In the final episode, we get quite a few revelations exposed (especially for Tohru). The play, Tohru, Hana, Uo, and Kyo were in was videotaped and Momiji gave a copy to Kureno. Let’s just say that Uo sent her own secret message of wanting to see a certain someone again. Kureno was conflicted that he wanted to reach out and talk to Tohru. When Tohru met with Kureno, she came upon some startling discoveries about the man possessed by the rooster zodiac (or bird).

When walking towards birds, they flew away from him. If you recall, many animals are drawn to the zodiacs (i.e. cats to Kyo, rats to Yuki, etc.). But with Kureno, they all just flew away! And finally, Kureno walked right up to Tohru, hugged her, and he didn’t transform.

Kureno has been curse-free for several years. Actually, since he was in high school and dude is in his 20’s currently. It’s unknown why only he was released from the curse and everybody else still transforms. Kureno kept it from everyone in the Sohma household (even though Shigure was suspicious for a while). And when the curse lifted from Kureno, he felt as though he could finally fly free (irony is that he can no longer “fly” being a zodiac bird). Problem is that Akito had a mental breakdown when she saw Kureno was free from the curse and she screamed at him to stay and never leave her side. This was actually the one time Akito didn’t hit or injure someone during one of these fits, so this felt very different.

And because of Kureno’s decision to stay by Akito’s side, he feels he can no longer see Uo. Even though, he really feels a connection towards her despite only seeing her two times. This was his first actual love! And then, Tohru learned another bombshell.

Actually, this bombshell isn’t as huge as it was years ago.

You see, up until this point in the manga it was hard to decipher what gender Akito was. In the original anime ALL of Akito’s voice actors (even in Japanese) were male. Yes, including when Akito was a child. Aaron Dismuke was everywhere 15 years ago. But then a chapter from the manga came out where Kureno clearly tells Tohru (who had no idea at the time) that Akito was female. So, for hardcore fans such as myself, this wasn’t so much of a bombshell. Although I forgot Tohru didn’t know about Akito’s true gender. New fans to the anime, it might’ve caused great impact. Anyways, the second season ends on that note.

Come on Fruits Basket, you announced another season on my birthday last year. Surely you can give me something to go on for my birthday this year.

OH HELL YEAH!

This totally…doesn’t make up for RBG dying over my birthday weekend, but it’s a start!

Aside from ONE episode, this season was totally brand-spanking new, never-before seen in anime form. And it was satisfying to watch many of these moments I thought were going to remain on the printed page forever finally in animation. This season gave us the good and the bad. We’ll have those light and funny moments that Fruits Basket was notorious for. Tohru visiting Ayame’s clothing store, Yuki’s class taking a trip, and the Cinderella storyline. But then you get all the heavy stuff like Akito coming to see Tohru at the beach house, Rin’s backstory, Kureno’s reveal, and Momiji’s sister wanting to know more about him. Every Momiji episode hurts me! Momo is too precious for this world and she just wants to know her secret onii-chan.

Now some people might think the lineup of these episodes and story is a bit sloppy with how it’s listed. Well, that’s how most of it was in the manga, just go with the flow. I mean, yeah, I’d agree with you there and maybe if this series were one continuous anime with no breaks, you’d get no complaints there. But whatever, you can’t please everyone on everything. This season gave us more character development from these characters. Kyo, while still an angry kitty from time to time has really matured a bit. He doesn’t fly off the handle to fight Yuki every day like you’d see in season one. Yuki was able to realize many aspects of his life and grow from there. Hatori was able to move on from Kana. Ayame learned to be a better big brother…though he’s still a yutz.

Shigure is NOT to be trusted!

I know some people have been saying that since season one and I feel it’s well worth repeating. And it’ll get worse next season, believe me! The only character I was disappointed in by not seeing that much of was Ritsu. But as I recall, Ritsu doesn’t get that much action in the second year arc. I’m so happy to hear the original dub (most of them anyways) with this new material that they’ve never done before for these characters. And I’m hoping to ride this train going into 2021. I love this story and I can’t wait for the final season.

Yes, watch this. Watch the first season too! Hell, watch the original series, it’s not out of print yet!

All of the episodes are available to watch on FUNimation, Crunchyroll, and Hulu. The dub is available through FUNimation only. And if you want to watch the original anime (w/o the new story), Hulu still has it available.

[prep4goth]

I wrote a little thing about Alex "Trash Goblin" Torini based off a prompt I saw online. It's finished, though the ending is rushed and I'm bad at grammar so. I wasn't creative enough to come up with a title lmao

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Fandom: They're Watching (2016)

Characters: Alex Torini

Content Warning: swearing, light depictions of violence/gore, mentions of trauma

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Alex began the day similarly to how he’d start each and everyday for the past several months; heart thumping wildly and a cry dying in his throat. The details of the nightmare were unclear. As his heart rate declined, the fucked up imagery would fade into obscured whisps. He can’t remember the last time he woke up in the comfort of his bed. Every morning without fail, Alex came to face down on his couch. Fortunately, it was the largest piece of furniture he owned. He could easily stretch out without even bumping the other end. Sometimes having short legs wasn’t a complete curse. 

Alex, convinced that his bones were made up of 40% calcium and 60% lead, fought the urge to remain in his current position. He felt like a boulder sinking into his sofa. Rolling onto his back, something that should be elementary, required a tremendous amount of effort. His eyes focused on the ugly popcorn ceiling. There was a crack- water damage from his pissbags neighbors above him-  that ran from the furthest corner to the fan. The longer he concentrated, the wider the crack appeared. While he envisioned the crack splitting open and dumping gallons of water on his head, the rational part of Alex’s brain demanded that his body move. 

With an Earth shattering sigh, he dragged himself into a sitting position. Alex rubbed his sore eyes. He couldn’t massage away the dry heaviness that seemed to permanently settle behind his eyelids.  What time did he pass out last night? A glance at his still opened laptop and half empty coffee mug told him it had been an unplanned slumber. He’d probably intended to only rest his tired eyes for a moment and slipped into unconsciousness. Just as he had done the previous night. And the night before that. And so on and so forth. His couch had transformed into his office/bedroom/dining area. 

Alex’s left arm was stiff from being tucked under his skull; a makeshift pillow. The tips of his fingers buzzed. Though, whether or not it was from holding that particular position or the dog bite, Alex had no clue. He curled his fingers into a fist. He watched the muscles in his forearm tense. With a slight grimace, he noted the rippling of the angry, pink marks embedded into his skin. Alex dimly recalled the searing pain of canines sinking into his flesh. He remembered the clink of teeth against bone and the ungodly amount of blood. Alex flinched as if the memory had physically burned him. But no matter how violently he jerked his head, the gruesome images were still imprinted in his mind’s eye. Hand cramping, Alex slowly unfurled his fist. With his fingers fanning out, he shook his hand until the cramping dissipated. It made no difference what he did. Numbness spread from the pads of fingers to his wrist, but feeling would eventually creep back. It always did. 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Alex mentally prepared himself for another day of pacing his cramped apartment, slowly deteriorating his vision via computer screen, and consuming unhealthy amounts of coffee. That last one, however, was only achievable by getting his ass off the couch. As sizable as the couch was, it was destroying his back. Alex braced his hands against his lower back as he hefted himself onto his feet. He twisted side to side, spine popping obscenely loud in the quiet apartment. 

Alex scooped up his phone from the coffee table, thumb pressing the home button. Though, the screen remained black. Well, fuck me. I forgot to charge this bitch. He realized with a weak chuckle. Not that he really cared that his phone died in the middle of the night. He hardly used it aside from emailing clients and mindless mobile games. Alex reflected on how he unintentionally severed ties with most if not all his friends while he plugged his phone in to charge. Occasionally, a film buddy would reach out, but responding to pointless texts was rather taxing. His friends had eventually gotten the memo. They figured he was pretty much useless. 

Once, Alex was convinced the flame of desire he had for creating would never flicker out. He was determined to make a name for himself in the film industry. Being a sound guy for some home improvement show made for middle aged and hobbieless parents was not the end goal, but a starting point. Fresh out of highschool and hardly scraping by, Alex thought it was an incredible gig to dip his feet in. The plan was to save up enough money to move out of his parent’s place and gain some behind-the-scenes experience. He’d graduate to bigger and better things; directing. Plans change and aspirations are grated into something more realistic. Alex had not minded flying from country to country, slinging a boom mike over his shoulder. The fact that his boss wasn’t pleasant, to say the least, or that he could only afford a shitty apartment with cracks in the foundation hardly phased him because at least he had Greg. That bastard was the only thing keeping Alex from jumping ship and enrolling in law school like Alex’s dad begged him to. Then they visited fucking Moldova. 

Moldova was a pair of bloodshot eyes that tracked his every move and reeked of smoke. Alex could feel its glare sorching his back every time the memories began to fade. The smoke burnt his lungs, choking him with shame if he ever attempted to forget it. Meeting the accusing eyes meant addressing the unbridled guilt eating away at his stomach whenever he so much as breathed. The weight of its scrutinous gaze left Alex wondering why he was the one left to poorly recite the witch’s tale. According to the witch possessing Becky, Alex was destined to capture the chaos that unfolded that night. Why him, out of every other person, she failed to clarify. 

The witch’s carnage was the last thing Alex filmed. Everytime he picked up a camera, his stomach churned. He feared he’d lift the camera to his face and see Becky’s warped grin on the other side. Wallace, unfortunately the only other person alive, had kindly kicked Alex to the curb. The footage would never see the light of day. People didn’t seem to question the show’s new host, or even Kate’s whereabouts. Greg and Sarah, nameless crew behind the cameras, hardly hurt Wallace’s pockets to replace with other nameless crew. That soulless, corporate prick didn’t even blink upon hearing that his own niece had met the business end of an axe. 

There was no hazard’s pay, not even after a 300 hundred pound man nearly strangled Alex to death. Alex needed to find another source of income to keep his lights on. So, he started editing other people’s work. The majority of his clientele were grown men screaming at video games and indie artists. Humorously enough, Alex favored editing the least. He was equipped with basics, but found it skull- splittingly tedious. It required sitting in one place for too long and extreme focus- something Alex had to shut his mouth for more than five minutes to accomplish. After watching his closest friends die horribly, however, Alex found it was much easier to be silent. A chatter box to a complete mute in months. Now, Alex slipped into the monotonous mechanics without complaint. The simple repetitiveness of splicing clips and adjusting audio levels allowed him to drift through the week without thought. It was slightly pathetic. He willingly chose to rot his brain on a day to day basis for the convenience of not having to think. 

Clearing his throat, Alex realized he’d been standing next to his charging phone for several minutes. He frequently caught himself falling down a rabbit hole of damaging thoughts. His forehead creased, fingers twitching against his phone. He ignored the throbbing pulse where the scar from the dog bite was. Powering his phone on, Alex didn’t expect anything exciting. Maybe an email asking for an update or a notification from one of his various games. He was unpleasantly caught off guard by the blinking ‘missed call’ icon. Upon further inspection, it was a missed call from Bernadette- an old friend Greg introduced Alex to. 

Apparently, Greg had played gigs at some dive bar frequently enough to earn some “street cred”as he often bragged about. Bernadette, when she wasn’t lugging camera equipment around archaic buildings, was bussing tables at that very same dive bar. With similar senses of humor,  which consisted of constantly taunting poor, outnumbered Greg, Alex and Bernadette were instant pals. They were too eerily similar for Alex to develop any feelings beyond platonic, despite Greg’s occasional teasing. Bernadette was the only person left in Alex’s life that was too damn stubborn to let go. Desperate for some form of human reaction, Alex craved reaching out. He tried almost daily. Alex had typed out several messages to Bernadette but erased every single one. Of all people, Bernadette deserved to know what happened; she was practically a sister to them. Except Alex had no clue how to tell her. Whether it was guilt or fear of her not believing him, his basic vocab always disintegrated. There were literally no words to express the dread and sorrow that hollowed out his chest. Better to not have a conversation period.

Tucked away in the dusty corner of Alex’s brain, was a locked chest of traumatic souvenirs. It was splitting at the seams, yet Alex continuously stapled the cracks closed. He ignored the splintering wood. Any day, the chest would finally collapse under the weight and Alex would be flooded with blood tinged memories. He concluded a conference with Bernadette over the phone would be the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, in this case, the very thing that protected Alex from the shitshow that was himself. Alex had spent months building that damn chest. He’d lost friends and proper vitamin D, but was still clinging onto a microscopic amount of sanity. He was alive at least. Breathing stuffy apartment air and with the diet of a broke college student, granted. But that was more than Greg and Sarah could say. 

His phone screen dimmed as he internally battled himself. He needed to talk to Bernadette, yes, but he was terrified. There was no danger in listening to his voicemail. Alex inhaled sharply as if he were about to be held under water as he tapped the message icon. He tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder. 

“What’s up, assclown! “ Bernadette’s recorded voice shouted into the receiver. Alex winced at her sharp volume, but chuckled regardless. 

“I know you’ve been avoiding me since you got back from where-ever-the-fuck, but that ends today. No more hiding out in that closet you call an apartment- time to get rolling, babbbby!” Alex shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Hearing her voice was a breath of fresh air. That feeling of lonely claustrophobia pressing on his chest faded slightly. Though, he was nervous for where this was heading. He pressed his lips into an anxious line.

“I don’t know what all went down over there, but it’s been months, man. You can’t keep this agoraphobe act up forever. That goes for that sonova bitch, Greg too.” Her laugh was soft, but still audible. Alex felt that familiar pang of guilt in the pit of his stomach. God, she thought Greg was alive and avoiding her. Throat tightening around a baseball sized lump, Alex pressed his knuckles against his mouth. His knuckles were flushed hard enough that his teeth dug into his lower lip. 

“Did you guys decide you’re bigshots now? Cause, newsflash- that’s utter bullshit.” Bernadette must have meant for her tone to sound teasing, but the hurt was evident in her voice

“I’ve left Greg a fuckton of messages, but he hasn’t even opened my texts. If I didn’t know better, I’d be worried. But regardless, I know you’re back from Europe, so no excuses. Remember that show I do, the fuckin, uh, ghost hunting crap? Well, we’re down a camera and I thought you’d might be interested. Last time we spoke- which was, like, a century ago- , you said you needed a job, so… Here ya go, bud. It’s better pay than whatever you’re probably doing right now. Even if you don’t need a job, the least you could do is call me and tell me yourself. Just so I at least know you’re still breathing.” There was a beat where Bernadette paused to inhale quietly. She was right, though. Their last conversation was brief and impersonal. He offered the simplest explationations; the shoot was canceled due to creative differences and Alex was out of a job. As for what he yarn he spun for Greg, Alex didn’t recall. Probably some bullshit timeline where Greg was backpacking through Europe. 

Bernadette wrapped up her message with a final jab at Alex’s lack of communication skills. In a poor attempt to center his roaring thoughts, Alex rested his phone against his forehead. The guilt that was slowly swirling in his gut developed into a full on Tsunami. For a moment, he wondered if it was possible to drown in it. Alex no longer had the option. Bernadette deserved the truth, no matter how painful. 

More than that, Alex needed to get the fuck out of this place. His apartment had lost its safe haven appeal and felt more like a cage closing in on him. Whether or not he was prepared to handle a camera again was a different story. He didn’t resent the aspect of working with people again either. At one point, Alex very nearly achieved his dreams. It was still camera work, but he was more than likely rusty from his months-long hiatus anyway. He would have stood in his living room all day if he tried to debate why he should or shouldn’t take the job. This meant, on the other hand, calling Bernadette back. And eventually, he’d have to tell her that Greg was dead. How the fuck was he supposed to do that? Alex had survived an encounter with an actual blood-hungry witch, but his heart shuddered at the thought of Bernadette labeling Alex a lying ass and cutting him off completely. 

Finally, Alex worked up the nerve to press the ‘call back’ option. His eyes stung with unshed tears as his heart nearly beat out of his ribcage. Alex tightly squeezed his eyes shut. The third ring droned obnoxiously loud and Alex silently hoped she wouldn’t pick up. But when did Alex ever get what he wanted? There was a soft click, followed by Bernadette exclaiming that Alex was a fucker. 

“Good to hear your voice too, Bernie.” He shot for humor, but the tremble in his voice betrayed his bravado. Bernadette either failed to notice or was feeling generous. 

Before she had the chance to strike up small talk, Alex launched into action. “Is that job offer still on the table?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[nikatyler]

Felt like doing some replies the ~ old fashioned ~ way. I should be packing, but I don’t wanna. One good thing about this semester is that I don’t have classes on Monday morning, which means I don’t have to go to Prague on Sunday. But I’ll be once again going home late on Friday -_- Oh well. Maybe I could skip the lecture every once in a while to go home on Thursday afternoon.

I’m scared. Not really of what I’ll have to learn because I know that even if it’s difficult, I’ll probably get it in my brain in the end. Somehow. I’m more scared that once again, I’ll be left alone. I haven’t really found a stable friend group. I mean, I talk to some people sometimes, but I wouldn’t call it a friendship. One friend that I thought I could rely on doesn’t even bother saying hello to me anymore. I don’t know what I did to him, he just stopped talking to me. But maybe it’s for the best. Even when we still talked, I couldn’t believe how judgemental he was, and I often wondered if he talks about me like that too when I can’t hear it. He probably did. Oh well, I’ll see what I can do. I hope I’ll run into someone who is kinda like my best friend from high school.

As for sims stuff, I know I still owe some things to some people and I feel bad about it. You’ll get it eventually. I’m actually looking forward to doing it too. Makeovers are fun. I’d also like to release some more sims, I have one more sim dump and then some old legacy characters I want to share, plus some BC contestants that didn’t make it. They like to get eliminated in the first rounds.

Also, thanks for the comments on my mental health update post. I’ll see how this turns out and if it doesn’t get any better (I’m kinda hoping that better weather brings better mood, it worked before), I’ll start looking for a therapist or something. No offense to my parents but talking to them about this didn’t help in a slightest. They just don’t get it. And I swear I’m not reverting back to the “I’m an edgy misunderstood teenager” phase. Even though “edgy misunderstood teenager” is an aesthetic I still live for. Whatever that means.

And thanks for the tips on the laptop post. I’ll keep them in mind and I’ll probably ask again when the time comes and I actually buy a new one.

Ahh...I guess that’s it? Replies under the cut. As per usual, they’ll probably be the shorter part of this post, but oh well.

abysims  replied to your photoset  “Let’s find Lilith Vatore some love! In my game, I’ve had Lilith in a...”

Honestly Cassandra and Lilith would be amazing (... In my Glimmerbrook Academy story Cass is actually gonna have a huge crush on Lilith so I'm voting for that, yas!)

Ooooh that sounds great! Also, I’ll have a post announcing the results of the post coming up later, either today or tomorrow, but...spoiler alert: Cassandra might have won ;)

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Simmer - Get to Know”

Lol this thing with Mermaids made me remember that when my friend and I were like 12 years old, a 6-year-old made her a "proposal" and we answered him that she'll marry him when he buys her a house by the sea in Prague

Omg sea in Prague sounds kinda cool, my faculty would be so close to the beach *-* Haha but at the same time it’s kinda terrifying, where would the sea come from? From the north? From the south? Would that mean my home doesn’t exist? Or, actually, considering my town was built on a big hill, would that mean I live on an island? And which part of Prague would be under the sea and which one would stay?

Sorry, I got distracted thinking of this AU where my country actually has access to the sea :D But we used to have it, back in like I think 12th or 13th century. We’re wayyyy smaller now.

amuhav replied to your post “Me, looking up some specs of my current laptop: you're...you're...”

If it's anything like me with my first 'gaming' laptop, the store clerk basically straight up lied to me about how good it was, and I was too young and naive to know better �� sims 3 almost burnt that thing to a crisp ������

Lmao I have a similar story with my first laptop, we were told that it has this super amazing graphic card...and it wasn’t amazing at all, as I later learned when my laptop broke.

amuhav replied to your photoset “Sims Moodboard Challenge I was tagged by @blurrypxls,...”

Oh no... don't make me want to go back to pinterest and do more of these �� They're ADDICTIVE

THEY ARE! I haven’t done much today, but I’ve spent a lot of time there all through this last week.

amuhav replied to your photo “I need to stop. This is more addictive than scrolling through memes....”

Pssst, not to enable or anything, but Picasa 3 has this nice feature where you can take a bunch of pics and it makes them into a nice collage. That's how I made mine, and then used them as my desktop backgrounds ��

I think I’ll use Photoshop, like I do for everything else, but thanks for giving me an idea for my new background! I used to have my sims or some other characters set as a background, but now that I take my laptop to school I feel a bit uncomfortable with that, so since October I’ve had this kinda boring background and I’ve been meaning to change it into something nicer, I just didn’t know what to put there. Now I do.

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Sunset: “How dare you pretend you’re Father Winter?” Father Winter:...”

Holy crap, Sunset is a lot more buff than I ever realized. Those arms! ��

Yup. That’s because she has to get her Athletic skill higher for work. I think her muscle slider might be at max, actually!

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Father Winter: “That’s it! You’re going on my Naughty List. Your...”

How could she not with with muscles like that?? Damn his Christmas magic!

Next time we should just call Caleb. I mean, he defeated Grim Reaper with no problem, surely Father Winter won’t be any more difficult for him!

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Okay, cool. You won’t give us gifts but I have a special one...”

Lmaoooooo, get him, Sunset! ������

He deserves it

asplashofsims replied to your photo “~ daylight”

Cute picture! ♡ I hope you feel better soon and omgg winx club, it's my guilty pleasure for sure hahah all the childhood memories��

I love Winx Club so much. It’s a little ridiculous and the plot holes are terrible (and don’t let me talk about anything after season 4, those are not my Winx D:), but I can’t let it go.

blubrich replied to your post “I forgot how traumatizing Toy Story 3 was ��”

Especially the ending! ��

YES. I remember the whole cinema was crying.

Also, Toy Story always unpacks this weird guilt in me haha. Because as a child, naturally I was like “I would NEVER abandon my toys, I’ll keep them forever!”. And now...they’re in boxes...under my bed and in the basement...some of them I gave away or to my younger sister, who then also gave some away because she’s fifteen now. I still have my plushies and teddy bears in my bed though, it would be too empty without them :D

silverspringsimmer replied to your audio post “(via...”

I love Within Temptation and they got me into heavier music later, too!

I don’t even remember how I found them. I was just bored of the music I was listening to all the time back then, so I clicked through playlists and stuff on Spotify and somehow I landed on their page, I guess. And I immediately fell in love.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your audio post “(via...”

Oh this song was the first song of this bad which I heard! It was also 5-6 years ago.though I do not listen to them often these days.

I think the first song I heard was What Have You Done, which I liked and still like very much, but then I heard this one and went kinda crazy because it just sounded so epic and exactly what my poor slightly depressed fifteen years old soul needed. In one day, I completely switched from pop to metal and it took me a few years to appreciate my old favourite music again. (I know that I say all the time that I’m a Taylor Swift stan, but actually I only really started LOVING her music again last year.)

I’ve always thought that it’s kinda funny that in my Music class, for the first semester I prepared a project about Taylor Swift. In the second semester, that changed, the old pop loving Ronnie was dead, and my new project was about Within Temptation :D But I remember that I was actually upset that day, I chose to show my classmates the video of What About Us and they didn’t appreciate it. And then after me, my other classmate had a project about some singer who had this weird song about getting high. They wanted to replay it. I was so bitter, in my head I was like “this song that I showed you has an interesting meaningful message and you’d rather listen to a song about drugs, how dare you?! You’re absolutely terrible!”

Yeah. I mean, I get it today, but I was so, so bitter.

amuhav replied to your audio post “(via...”

I recently found out they had a new album out (and Nightwish had a new single out too ��) and early 2000s emo teenage me immediately surfaced and threw money at my screen!

Ahhhh I’ve basically had Noise on repeat since it came out, I love it so much! And the video is cool too. I can’t wait to hear the whole album. Nightwish never disappoints, I hope I’ll one day get to see them live. I’ve had a few chances but then it never worked out.

[kidchameleon92]

“life story” 1

i’m not going to edit this at all going along. typos, bad grammar, mistakes. doesn’t matter. this is spontaneous thought.

disclaimer: i changed the word to “spontaneous” from “spurious” which means something completely different, so the first paragraph is already a lie.

anyway, it’s been a really weird and sort of bad couple months for me. mostly in my state of mind. i feel very stuck and very immobile when it comes to my art and career. and that is having a very negative effect on my brain. even though i’m putting out my favorite songs i’ve ever written. i’ve been meaning to write for awhile. i used to post when i lived in los angeles several years ago, just journaling my day to day life. but i haven’t for awhile. i guess i also used to write in a notebook while on different tours. but i think i’ve since thrown that away or hidden it somewhere.

point is: i just want to write to get things off my mind. and hopefully, maybe, it’ll help you (if you care to) get to know me a little more and on a more personal level. even if we haven’t met. and maybe it’ll make what i make (if you care about it) mean more to you. either way, mostly, i just want to rant a bit. so, this is my life’s story. i guess.

chapter 1: kid

i was born in a suburb of the twin cities in minnesota. my parents both grew up in minnesota and lived there their whole lives (until my mom recently moved to tennessee). my mom was a mortician, and my dad was an accountant. also an alcoholic. he cheated on her and left her and i when i was one year old. i remember growing up going to stay with him on weekends, except it was with him and his girlfriend at the time. except he was drunk a lot. and would drive drunk with me (a baby) in the car. so, that’s cool. anyway, my mom was really depressed, and that was not a good time (or so i’ve heard, because i was a baby, so idk).

i stayed with my grandparents a lot, because my mom worked full time. my maternal grandparents lived on a ton of land. my grandpa and i would ride motorcycles and four wheelers and sleep in a treehouse and all that. my other grandparents lived in the same town but in a small house. i used to go up to their cabin during the summer and go fishing and swimming and boating and all that. different g-parent vibes, but loved both a lot.

anyway, when i was three, my mom married my step-dad. he is from india and has had a lot of unique and challenging experiences, so that certainly brought a lot of particular lessons and outlooks into my life. i went there once when i was about 14. it was wild. but so, yeah. that kinda solidified my family unit. my dad got remarried later on as well. but the older i got, i saw him less and less.

so ... i loved video games. i played them all the time. a big part of my childhood. mostly nintendo. explains a lot. as a kid in school (4 years public, 3 years private, 1 year home, 3 years private, 1 year PSEO [look it up]), i was never popular whatsoever. i always wanted to gain some sort of acclaim or attention from my classmates, but was pretty much always looked down on for one reason or another. i remember in elementary school, i was the kid who was literally terrified of storms. probably because i had been in a tornado when i was six. but the moment it would thunder, all the kids would look at me to see if i was gonna cry. usually, i did. and the school nurse would take me outside and we’d walk around as a sort of therapy. i guess it helped sorta. i still get nervous in storms. but i don’t cry.

i also remember a time specifically that i got made fun of for wearing a denver broncos t-shirt. this kid just railed on me because it wasn’t a minnesota vikings shirt. so, one: i don’t even give a fuck about sports. but two: it stuck with me for some reason that someone would be a massive jerk over a t-shirt of a sports team. i guess that’s just because we as humans are messed up things.

anyway, in middle school, i started becoming semi-interested in music. i listened to the radio every night, listening to the top 10 countdown of big songs from that week. kanye, weezer, the click five, black eyes peas, green day. those were some anyway. besides that, i was just listening to like kelly clarkson and relient k or something. my mom had a steven curtis chapman cd in her van i thought went hard. but i started getting into popular music around then. i also started to write my own music. i used to take piano lessons from when i was like six or seven until i was 14 or so. but after i started writing my own songs, i hated practicing assigned pieces. i didn’t care. i wanted to play my own. so, the teacher said if i quit, i couldn’t be her student again. so i did. that’s fine. she said i was her most talented student. but i didn’t work that hard. so, that goes to show that natural talent and hard work have different roles, i suppose. 

chapter 2: girls and high school and such

in high school, i started LiKiNg gIrLs and stuff. i also was still not very popular. i also had started a band (with jack). i wasn’t very good, but i was just as obsessed with it as i am now. anyway, i liked this one girl from my church, and we talked all the time. but because we grew up in a pretty fundamental church culture, we weren’t allowed to date. which honestly, i fine, because looking back, no one knows what they are doing at 16 really. i definitely didn’t. i still don’t know what i’m doing. anyway ...

so, this girl and i half-dated for a couple years, and i was really clingy and annoying. but that’s just how i be. and i thought i was gonna marry her and stuff, because in a fundamental church context, you over spiritualize everything.

[[disclaimer: i am a christian, and i still go to church, but my theology and ideology on a lot of things has just evolved and changed a lot since i was young and since leaving the ultra-americanized/ultra-fundamental “christian” realm. main point being: we all are effed up bro and need saving. i’m an idiot always!]]

but now we’re back. girl “dumped” me and started dating another guy named “patrick” right after, even though she technically wasn’t allowed to date until she was 18. but apparently, she just wasn’t allowed to date me. so, that was cool. anyway, i was angsty, but then i got over it. because i was 17, so life big time goes on.

then i met another girl from canada while i was finishing school and going hard at my band stuff. we hit it off, and i started visiting her up there. and she visited me and all that. it was cool. and then all of a sudden, she really started hating me. and to be fair, i was weird and clingy and sort of a lot to deal with. but we kept dating. all the while, i was sort of leaving behind music to try to get into nursing school. yep, nursing school. but i got rejected, which is great. and so, i decided to go to audio engineering school in canada. and she was gonna go to college in the same city. this is great! so i thought. she dumped me (well, i sort of broke up with myself for her) about a month after we were living in the same city. wack. but it made me buckle down and work my ass off in school. i was top of my class one semester. yeah, i’m not that dumb. sometimes.

towards the spring of the next year, i happened to meet a girl who was at my church with one of my friends. she seemed chill. just talked a little. nothing crazy. happened to hit her up on twitter just to say hi. no intention. we talked a bit. nothing after that. then all of a sudden, a couple months later, i was tweeting about reading harry potter for the first time (note: fundamental upbringing). she happened to tweet me back about it. and long story short, we went out on a date. a sort-of-date. and what was supposed to be a lunch turned into an all day and half the night date. anyway, we got married a year later. after a lot of immigration paperwork and expenses. that’s a whole other post. that sucked. it’s a lot. and it’s why i feel bad for people who have nothing who are trying to come here to flee danger in their own countries. again, another post.

chapter 3: married, and other hard things

so, i forgot to say that before we got married, i lived in los angeles for a year after school. i was doing more sound for film work. on set stuff, post-production. got to do work with like ... james franco, matt damon, emma roberts, william shatner. some cool stuff. but jack’s old band came through on tour, and i saw two shows. and i was like ... bruh. i gotta do music, what am i doing? so, i literally moved back to minnesota within like two weeks, worked as a nursing assistant for a little bit and got married. then moved to nashville like two weeks later. i guess i could’ve stayed in los angeles. but nashville felt like the move at the time. everything happens with a purpose.

so, we moved here, and she couldn’t work for three months because of immigration stuff. so, i was like, well, guess i need a job. so, i got a job managing a home for a couple people with intellectual disabilities. it was super hard. mostly because the company was really, really bad. so, i got another job working as a staffing coordinator in an office for a home health care agency. that was a little better. still tough. but less overwhelming. a couple months after i got that job, i got an offer to go on a country tour playing bass for someone. and i was like ... well, this is why i moved here. so, i quit and went on tour. and shawna actually took my old job. interesting.

i was gone for three weeks, and it sucked and the pay was bad, but at least i was doing what i wanted. but then i got an offer from my friend to do some tech work on a much bigger country gig. i hadn’t done it before, but it was better pay and a better position. and on a bus and nice things and all that. so, i went for it. i pissed the other girl i was playing for off. but that’s show biz, baby. but like, i found a replacement for myself and paid to fly him out to her shows and stuff. so, really she won.

anyway, i toured with this other artist for four years. and i learned a lot. it was very, very challenging, both mentally and physically. and some people are just hard to work with. but i still gained so much valuable experience and insight into touring from that. i also started playing guitar for another artist who was small at the time, but has now had a couple number one hits. but his label fired me because i didn’t look country enough. we’re still homies though, so it’s literally fine. because i do indeed not look country enough.

at the same time, i was doing my own solo music and also producing and writing with and for other people. i’ve had the opportunity to write and produce for everything from independent artists to major label to billboard charting albums to whatever. songs on major television networks. i’m still very un-rich though, if that tells you anything. 

but really, i just wanted to do my own music. and i literally couldn’t get it to go anywhere. i had no idea what the “secret” was. what was i missing? money? connection? power? actually probably all of that, to be honest. this industry is wacko. i was pretty close to giving up.

chapter 4: milkk

i read a satirical article on vice.com about “how to start a trendy band” or something. i thought it was funny. so, i called jack. he had just been kicked out of his old band for no reason. i was like, “bruh, let’s do this article.” and he was like, ok. so, we sort of did. and i’m not gonna go into all the early details, because i’ve done a million press interviews about how our band started. and i don’t wanna say it again. google it.

this was the first time that i actually saw people care about my music. it was a high. it was like a dream. and we hadn’t even had any big song or anything. just the fact that people were listening and engaging was mind blowing to me. but just like with anything, the more things went, the less i found satisfying. the more “likes” or “follows” on socials didn’t feel like enough anymore. the streams didn’t seem good enough. the chart positions on the debut album didn’t seem that great. the hype wore off a little after the debut album hype. and that made me insane. probably because we as humans are not built to be satisfied by the things in our life. “Vanity of vanities!” it’s in ecclesiastes. like the bible one.

chapter 5: now

anyway, that’s bad. i had (and have) let my mind convince me that i have to achieve something in order to be happy or fulfilled, when i know that that stuff will never fulfill me. i could play the biggest stadium and have the biggest song in history, but after a burst of dopamine and excitement, it would be empty. and i know that nothing here will do that. at least, that’s what i believe. my hope is outside of myself.

but that’s hard to internalize when you are so passionate about something, and have been for so long, and all you want to do is create things for other people that they can appreciate and be influenced by. but it’s probably also selfish. like i openly admit i like the idea of fame and presence. and it probably ties all the way back to wanting acknowledgement and attention as a kid, from being unpopular and ridiculed and, honestly, left by my dad. maybe i just therapied myself.

but regardless, i know i can’t put my identity in all this stuff. it’s hard, and it’s harder when you create stuff. because it’s so deeply tied to you. but it’s still not “who i am.” i know who i am and what i believe, but i’m still a mess, so i can’t enact that in my brain perfectly. in fact, far from it.

anyway. it’s late, and i’m going to post this and attempt to not worry about how it does on social media. stupid!!! i just want this out in the world for you to read. hopefully it’s helpful for you in some way. but mostly, it was just cool to write this out, for my own sake.

i’ve been blessed in some amazing ways. my family. oh, yeah i forgot that i have two kids. i love them a lot. i don’t talk about them on social media much. but they are very special to me. and we’ve always been taken care of, even when times were tight or i didn’t know when the next paycheck was coming in or i thought my wife was about to die or whatever. the Lord provided for us every time. and i am grateful to have what career i have. it may be “small” and nothing to look at by the big industry standards, but i believe in what i make so much, and i’m just grateful that anyone cares about it at all. and i will continue to do so until the day i die. because i have to. 

it’s what i was born to do, for better or worse. and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lxiewrites]

Fic trope mashup: 46 & 71, Klance

46. Blind date & 71. 24hrs to live

1) @mushroomgarden144p Damn I’m so sorry it took so long, I just got really busy with school and making a cosplay prop before I left for home 

2) I went overboard as usual so I hope you enjoy!! shit it’s over 5k i thought it was less

“You sure you can do this, Mullet?” Lance teased. He could see his partner in crime fiddle with the silverware on the table. If his Mamá were there she would’ve smacked those elbows off the table. He watched as those fingers freeze before dropping onto his napkin-covered lap.

Lance adjusted the monitors, making the slightly blurry picture clear to the point he could see that Keith didn’t get a manicure like he told him. Reaching over he played with the dials to adjust the audio so he could hear the low bustle of the restaurant in the background. Not as good as it would have been with Hunk or Pidge but this was a solo mission. Or a solo duo mission… Whatever mission it is with only two people. Though it has been drilled into their heads to use the emergency communicator in any emergencies but it was a simple information grab.

He highly doubted that they would need it.

Keith scoffed, adjusting his glasses making the picture on the monitor jostle. “Contrary to popular belief I have gone on dates, Lance.”

“Really? Where, McDonald’s?” Lance laughed.

“No. Burger King.”

A sharp burst of laughter escaped from deep in his belly, rocking back in his glee and nearly hitting the other side of the van. Laughter tapering off he wiped away a tear that formed in his eye. “Well, this place is a slightly higher pay grade than Burger King. If you’re stuck think what would Lance do~”

He could practically hear his eyes roll. “Just focus on watching my back, Lance.”

“It’s not my fault I’m too handsome for this case, Mullet.”

“Yes, but it is your fault for being seen with Allura and being in the tabloids for two weeks straight,” Keith nagged.

Like he forgot. For two weeks his pictures with Allura were everywhere, speculating whether he was some young tycoon or some model. Anyway, they could figure out why he held The Princess’s attention. Wild stories of him being her new boyfriend or just a fling. But they did die down after a week when he kept out of the limelight.

Lance frowned at the fancy glass of ice water that appeared on the table, the video moving up to the politely smiling face of the waiter. Keith’s hand entered the bottom corner, thankfully waving the waiter away.

He got a close up look at the ice cubes as they clinked against the glass when Keith took a sip. Keeping the drink to his mouth Keith muttered, “Just for the fact that you were on the news makes you a high profile. We needed discretion.”

Lance pouted and crossed his arms. “How was I to know that the paparazzi was there? Allura was giving me the profile on your date. Remember?”

“We’re spies, Lance!” Keith whispered shouted into his drink before setting it down. “You’re supposed to know when you’re followed.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up, Keith.”

Keith’s sigh made the mic crackle with static. “Lance—“

“Shh, shut up, shut up, she’s coming.”

A tall, gorgeous, and willowy redhead approached them with a wide smile, her light blue eyes bright with enthusiasm. “You’re Keith, right? Allura told me a lot about you, I’m Roze but you can call me Ezor or Ezzy!”

The video bobbed as Keith nodded. Maybe they should’ve put the camera in the tie. “Nice to meet you, Ezor.”

“Just had to go with the boring route didn’t you,” Lance critiqued.

Before Keith took out her chair he tapped on his ear where the earring bug was, causing a screech to blare right into Lance’s ear. Keith didn’t show any signs of his ears bleeding as he pushed in Ezor’s chair for her.

“Oh, such a gentleman!” she teased. She set her forearms on the table and propped her pointed chin in the palm of her hand. “So how do you know Allura?”

“I met her through work,” Keith said waving for the waiter to come by with menus. “You?”

“Oh, I guess I don’t know her that well. She’s like this associate with my boss’s son. Just came up today and asked if I wanted to go on a blind date. And I’m not one to pass up a free meal so I was like, ‘sure! Why not?’” She smiled at Keith, blue eyes slitting in amusement.

Lance could probably guess why Allura chose this one for them to go on a date with. Friendly with a bit of a motor mouth, but Lance still had an uneasy feeling about this girl. Her demeanor too friendly, smile too sharp and getting that small piece of information buried under the avalanche of words.

He cracked his neck on either side. Leaning forward to the mike as if Keith could hear him better he said, “Game face on, Mullet. It’s date time.”

-

Lance at this point was bored out of his mind and fighting the temptation of playing games on his phone. Obviously, he can’t because that’s “unprofessional” but whatever.

“How is it that you haven’t gotten any relevant information from her so far?”

He could see Keith’s hand tighten on his fork before placing it on the table. Keith pushed his empty plate away from him, getting up from the table. “If you’ll excuse me, I just need to go to the restroom.”

Ezor beamed at him, giving him a little wave. “Go ahead, I’ll order dessert.”

Keith hurried to the bathroom, the golden ornate decorations of the restroom blurring in his haste. Reaching the bathroom and locking it behind him he tore off his glasses and glared at the small camera embedded in the frame.

Keith’s furious purple eyes took up the entirety of the screen. Despite the high definition of the camera, his skin was still perfectly clear and soft looking. “Excuse me if the subject of experimental, hallucinatory, and extremely dangerous drugs haven’t casually come up in the conversation!” he hissed.

“Just… I don’t know… bring up recreational drugs!” Lance shouted into the van, waving his hands. “Like what does she do to relax? Then just say that you use weed and go from there!”

Keith pursed his lips. His eyes darted to the side in the way that he did when he was considering something. He looked back at the screen, resigned. “Fine. I’ll try it. But this better work.”

“Come on, Mullet, when haven’t my plans ever worked?”

“Do you want the list in chronological or alphabetical order?”

“Dick,” he said without heat.

Keith smirked before putting his glasses back on. Looking into the mirror he straightened his navy suit and tightened his ponytail. In the privacy of the van, Lance allowed himself to put a hand to his chest and scream silently into the mic before going back to watch Keith fiddle with his silverware.

She clapped when the waiter deposited something oozing with chocolate and only two spoons in between them. She looked up flirtatiously at Keith, batting her eyes. “I didn’t know what you wanted so I hope you don’t mind sharing.”

“He gay, bitch,” Lance muttered on reflex.

Keith must’ve heard him because he choked out a small laugh before turning it into a coughing fit.

Ezor’s eyebrows rose. “Ookay, then. Or not.”

Keith coughed again before waving his hand. “I’m sorry. Sorry, I would love to.”

She grinned at him again. “Perfect,” she chirped, handing over a long silver spoon.

“So, what do you do to relax, Ezor?” Keith asked, scooping up some hot fudge.

“Mmm, little bit of this, little bit of that. I like shopping and yoga,” she said scooping up some liquid chocolate on her side. She looked up at him and slowly took a bite, taking her sweet ass time licking the spoon. “You?”

“Weed.”

Lance thunked his head on the table.

She laughed. “Wow. Straight to the point. I like that.”

“It’s something I specialize in,” Keith agreed, taking a bite.

She giggled again but Lance still thought she sounded too sharp on the edges. And there was definitely something wrong with her if she didn’t just up and leave after that.

Keith scooped up more chocolate along with a bite of cake, popping it in his mouth before continuing. “So, uh, have you tried weed before?”

Ezor set down her spoon to fold her arms on the table and smile at Keith. “Wouldn’t you like to know~”

The screen moved when Keith shook his head. His hand came up and the video moved up so Lance had a nice video feed of the crystal chandelier in the middle of the room. Lance heard the silverware on the table clatter off-screen.

Fear shot through him so fast it made his stomach hurt. “Keith? You okay buddy?”

The screen focused on the white tablecloth, two elbows on both sides of the shot. “Just…dizzy…” The screen blurred again when Keith shook his head.

Off-screen Ezor hummed. “Dizzy, huh, that tends to happen.” There was some rustling and the snap of a purse before a few hundred-dollar bills fluttered down in the corner of the screen.

The screech of the chair scraping linoleum was his only warning before the screen blurred once again and he got a close-up shot of a long, pink evening gown pressed up against Keith’s blue suit. Keith’s feet were heavy and lurching as he stumbled next to the dainty gold shoes.

Lance’s heart hammered in his chest as he sent out a secure signal of their location. “Keith, buddy, you’re going to have to get out of there.”

“’M dizzy,” he mumbled.

Lance’s leg was bouncing so fast it blurred. “I know you are buddy, just hold on for a bit.” He had to get him but he couldn’t just drop everything to just go in and grab him. Millions of lives are hinged on the information. But the mission was already pretty much screwed; he should just go in and grab him. Right?

“Pft, that’s just the beginning. You’re gonna be a lot more than just dizzy soon.” Ezor muttered. She expertly maneuvered them into a less populated area, reducing Keith’s behavior as a state of drunkenness.

Out of sight in the back alley she dumped him onto the wet ground, shining in the glow of the streetlight. Keith’s head tilted back to the point where Lance could see her casually flip back her hair in a high pony and slip a vial out of her purse.

Crouching down in front of them she held up the purple liquid. “Y’all have such a hard-on for this shit.” She tossed it in the air before catching it in her hand. “Since you got this far Haggar told me I could tell you that this is quintessence. Left alone it’s one hell of a hallucinogen, but processed,” she smirked at the camera. “I’d say you only have about twenty-four hours to live.” Ezor’s blue eyes looked right into the camera as if she was looking right at him. “I would hurry if I were you.”

Fuck it.

It might be a trap but he had to go get his partner. Grabbing the communicator, he stuffed it in his pocket before grabbing a gun and rushing out of the van doors.

The streets were dark, only a few people left milling around the restaurant. Sliding the gun in the waistband of his jeans at the small of his back he snuck around the front of the building to the small alley hidden between the buildings.

With slow steps, soft splashes were the only indicator of his location. He paused before the opening of the alley, the angle of the streetlight keeping him in the shadows. He took the gun from the small of his back, cocking it in hand before leaping from his hiding spot.

Only to drop it to his side.

No one was there, the date was gone without a trace and Keith was lying there groaning on the ground. Flipping the safety on he ran to his friend, heart beating away in his throat. Dropping the gun on the asphalt and grabbing Keith’s hands he took them between his own and rubbed them to bring some warmth back. The icy coldness of his hands seeping in and turning the flesh a faint purple.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I fucked up.” He wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulders, rubbing them to possibly keep more warmth in. He took the communicator from his pocket and set it on Keith’s lap. “I’m so fucking sorry, Keith. Jesus Christ this is all my fault.”

He activated the communicator in Keith’s lap, the crackly voice of a tired Pidge on the other end. “Pidge, Keith is down. We need an extraction. Get 911 and poison control.”

Pidge didn’t ask any questions, the telltale clicking the only clue that she was sending out a team. “Team’s on their way, as is 911 and poison control is in process. What happened, Lance?”

Lance was silent for a moment, internally berating himself for letting this happen. “We didn’t know but his date poisoned Keith with the processed quintessence.”

Something clattered on the other side of the line. “Jesus fuck.”

“Yeah,” Lance said morosely. It was like he was hearing himself over a recording. “We only have twenty-four hours, Pidge.”

“Lance…” She trailed off, her voice small. “We need a sample of the processed quintessence for the antidote, we only have the pure quintessence and we don’t know what they did to it. The best that can happen is to feed him neutralizers and hope it either stops the process or slows it down.”

Lance buried his face in Keith’s neck, squeezing the unconscious man. “I know. Just… be ready to start examining for proteins or chemicals and shit. I’ll make sure to grab the evidence and when they pump his stomach be ready to examine the contents.”

Red and blue lights flashed down the street, the faint sound of sirens getting louder by the second. “The police and ambulance are almost here. You’re gonna have to work fast, Pidge.”

Pidge growled in frustration. “Lance, we’re going to need—“

“And I’ll get it,” he cut off. He sighed and softened his tone. “I’ll get it. Just work with what you can. I have a plan, so you just leave it to good ol’ Lancey Lance.”

There was a distinct tapping against a keyboard as she listened to his bravado. “Fine,” she spat. “I’ll do what I can.”

He hoisted Keith onto his shoulder, arm raised, badge in hand, to wave the police to their location. The alternating lights giving Keith a sickly glow that emphasized how pale he was along with the full baggage claim under his eyes.

“That’s all I need, Pigerino.”

-

Lance paced as he waited for her to answer her phone. The hallway was empty aside from the few nurses running on little sleep and caffeine. All the rooms in the hall were closed and only a few with light creeping from under the doors. The harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital hurt his eyes and he grimaced, remembering the last time he had to be there that involved Keith. Except it was his fault this time.

“Yes?” a voice answered, posh and perfect like always.

“Allura, I need a favor.”

“Hello to you too, Lance.” He could practically see the eye roll in her voice. “What is the issue?”

He swallowed around a dry throat. “It’s Keith. He was poisoned and while the team has the pure quintessence the Galra did something to it so we have to get a sample of the processed drug because if we did he’s going to die—“

“Lance, slow down,” she ordered before concern softened her tone. “How long does he have?”

Lance took a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes so the bright lights didn’t make him dizzier than he already was. “Pidge said they were able to slow the process to a few days but it’s still going to kill him.”

“What do you need?” she asked, though it sounded more like a command.

Leaning against the pristine white wall he sighed. “I need to get a sample of pure quintessence.”

“And what? Steal it?” A sigh heaved on the other side of the line. “Lance, if they poisoned Keith knowing he was a part of Voltron then my position is more than likely compromised.”

“You still have the keys right? The ones you took off of the son?”

“Lance, think, this is not safe. You need to wait and discuss a plan with everyone and go in with a team.”

A loud slap of skin on drywall echoed down the empty hallway. “Keith doesn’t have the time Allura!”

“Lance…”

“Please, Allura. This is all my fault, if I wasn’t seen with you then Keith wouldn’t have had to go in.”

“And have this exact same situation but reversed?” she scolded.

“Allura I have a plan, I just need the key.”

The long, poignant silence felt like a death toll. “You have to at least talk to Shiro before you try to do whatever you’re trying to do.”

Lance’s entire body slumped with the relieved sigh he was holding. “Yes, yes, absolutely, no problem. You got it, princess.”

“Remember, you ha—“

“Yes, yes, Shiro’s approval, no worries, he’ll definitely say yes. I’ll come by for the key later. Thanksloveyoubye!” The words were jumbled into one horrifying Frankenstein of a word in his haste to close the conversation before she could change her mind. Ending the call he placed his hand over his racing heart.

Blowing out a breath he slipped into the room he was pacing in front of.

He walked over to the bed where Keith was laying pale but stable. His brows were furrowed, scowling even in, essentially, a coma. Lance brushed back his bangs, damp from sweat, smoothing out the wrinkles on his forehead. Leaning down, he placed a small kiss to the middle of his forehead. “Hang in there, buddy,” he whispered. “I got your back.”

-

Lance strolled up to the front doors of the Galra Inc. building, waving the stolen key card in front of the sensor. It blinked green twice before the doors slid open with a quiet woosh of air.

Most of the building consisted of sleek metal and purple accents, new technology not released to the public scattered around the room, and that was just the lobby.

He adjusted his red tie, nodding to the receptionist who didn’t even bother looking up and walked to the elevator. He prayed that the key card was the extent of the security needed. He might need to subdue someone if they used any form of retinal or fingerprint scanning. Most of it was banking on the face the keycard belonged to the son of the company. How Allura was able to get it he had no idea but he wasn’t about to question it.

The scanner to the elevator thankfully blinks green twice. Stepping inside the empty elevator he looked the buttons up and down, debating. His eyebrows rose slightly when he noticed a thin opening nearly hidden by the seam where the panel was fused to the elevator.

Licking his lips he slid the keycard in and out of the slit. As soon as he did the elevator started moving, so smoothly he almost didn’t notice. “Okay,” he said, “that works.”

There was no indicator of any floor when the elevator stopped. No ping to alert the passenger. The doors were silent. Cautiously, Lance stepped out on the dark tile, shoes making soft clacking on the floor.

As if he belonged, he ambled through the dimly lit halls, shoes clicking as he went. Lance tried a few doors, either finding no one or a few people in respirators who didn’t look up from their tablets.

He frowned at the ground, annoyed. So far he was unable to find her. It’s not like he thought there would be a flipping directory but he should have gone by her office at some point.

He wandered around more. Hands in his pockets, eyes forward; the perfect picture of someone who knew he belonged there and knew where he was going. Despite the fact he was probably walking around in circles.

The few people in masks who walked the halls merely looked at him, moving on when he nodded at them, some nodded in response. They, too, were also silent. They looked at each other and made a few gestures but he couldn’t hear whatever discussion they were having.

When he turned the corner he paused. He waited five or ten seconds and turned right back around. Stepping lightly he followed the two as they turned a corner.

Following as silently as possible he followed them until they disappeared into a metal door marked with red lights and a WARNING sight bolted over the top.

Finally some progress.

He didn’t hesitate when he reached the door. Only taking a brief moment to get into character. The cool, suave persona that will go in and smoothly demand for a moment of the Haggar’s time.

He grasped the handle when he felt the cold press of a barrel of a gun no his neck.

“Hands up,” a voice as cold as the gun demanded.

Slowly, he raised his hands, shoulder height.

“So what gave me away?” he asked. The muzzle of the gun pressed into the back of his head, tipping it forward until he saw his dress shoes. A foot clad in what looked to be a thick sock kicked his feet apart.

“You’re shoes. You were echoing all around this floor.”

Lance winced, silently cursing himself. His heartbeat pounded in his chest and up to his face and wrists. He huffed out a breath and abruptly held it when the muzzle pressed harder.

“Listen, can, can I just talk?”

“You’re talking right now.”

“I’d rather do this face to face.”

A beat of silence passed.

“Fine, but don’t try anything or I will shoot.”

Strangely, it didn’t sound like a threat or a warning but a fact.

Cautiously, he turned, hands up and eyes down. Raising his head he could see the person behind the voice. She appeared to be female clad in an armor designed to be both flexible and to withstand attacks. Her dark hair was purple in the lighting and her eyes piercing. Neither happy nor even aggressive but intense.

Her expression didn’t change as she nodded at him, a cue to continue.

“I just came here to make a deal with Haggar. My pa—friend was poisoned with quintessence and I came here to offer some sort of exchange to get the antidote or even just a sample for him.”

“Why should I care? It sounds like he was just a casualty.”

He glared. “He’s important.”

Somehow, even without changing her expression he had the distinct feeling she looked at him like he was an idiot. “That just sounds like that’s a benefit to Galra.”

“To me, he’s important to me!” he hissed out. Sighing, he closed his eyes to rein himself in. Opening them again he glared at her. “Listen, I’m pretty high up in Voltron. A favor for a favor. I just need a sample and was going to ask for a trade with Haggar.”

Her eyes flicked to the side and back. “You’re alone.”

Lance could feel his eyebrows twitch down. “Ho—“

“You don’t have a communicator. And you must be pretty stupid to think you can have a fair trade of ‘a favor for a favor’ with Haggar.” She blinked once, twice. The gun moved.

His breath stalled in his chest as he prepared for the impact of the bullet.

He waited. But nothing came.

He watched as she swiftly flipped her gun into her holster at her hip. “Haggar would never let you off so easily.” Digging in another pouch she took out a small vial of purple liquid. She locked eyes with him as she held it up, the liquid swirling in its small container. “A favor for a favor, correct?”

At first, the past thirty seconds didn’t even register. Like his brain lagged, buffered. Lance.exe not found. Then all at once, it was like he was more aware of everything. The dark colors of the corridor were more vivid. He could hear the faint buzzing of the lights at his back. The faded scent of bleach that was used to clean the floor.

He shook his head, blinking until everything came back into focus. ”What?”

Her eyes narrowed at him. Jiggling the vial a bit so the liquid sloshed against the sides she said, “You’d have a better chance of making a deal with me than with Haggar.”

“And what do you exactly have to gain from this?” Lance asked, eyeing her warily.

“A favor,” she held out the sample, “correct?”

Lance hesitated, hand reaching for it but curling in on itself before touching. There had to be some sort of catch. Why would she essentially let him off scot-free? She didn’t know if he would uphold whatever favor she had.

He looked at her where she was staring at him steadily, maybe a tad bit impatient, raising her brows at him as if asking, ‘what are you waiting for?’

He took the vial.

-

As soon as he was in his car speeding away from Galra Inc. he phoned Pidge.

“Pidge!” he shouted when she finally picked up, transferring the call to the car’s Bluetooth.

“Lance,” said operative grimaced at the sound of the stern rumble of his boss instead of Pidge’s sleep-deprived mumbles, “you better have a good explanation for going on a mission without prior authorization.”

He swallowed down the lump in his throat before chuckling awkwardly. “So you see, Shiro, it was a bit of a time crunch—“

“You went without a handler or backup. No one knew you were going except for Pidge and Allura, who might I add, is not an operative.”

“Shiro…”

“You didn’t even talk to me about this. Do you have any idea how risky and dangerous this was?”

“I do, but Shiro this was important and I couldn’t wait for the department to get back to me days later when I knew I could do it now.”

“Going in alone on a mission is bad enough but there were absolutely no safety precautions, Lance—“

“It was for Keith,” Lance blurted out. “Shiro, he only has a few days. And I got it. Completely unscathed. I’m right as rain.”

There was a deep sigh on the other side of the line. “We’re not done with this conversation.”

The dial tone buzzed in the car before Lanced sighed and redialed to Pidge. “Hey, Pidge? I got it.”

-

It’s been about a week since Lance took the deal with that girl. Pidge and Hunk did their science stuff and made an antidote for Keith in as little as twelve hours. He has since then recovered quickly and they’re keeping him in the hospital to monitor his vitals to make sure he was stable. And if he knew Keith as well as he thought he did then he must have been having a ball.

Lance stood in front of the door, a small bouquet of flowers in his hands. He fidgeted, shuffling from one foot to the other, going in to knock before changing his mind.

The flowers were too much. They were definitely too much. Maybe he should’ve gotten him something else? What did he like? Knives? Chocolate? He should just go home and—

“Just come in already!” a disgruntled voice shouted.

Lance sucked in a breath, exhaling before plastering a smile onto his face. “Hey, buddy!” he chirped, opening the door. He squawked when a pillow hit the wall next to him, retreating slightly before peeking in again.

Keith sat pouting, hair mussed, and arms crossed in the bed. He glared at where Lance stood in the doorway, daring him to come in and give him well wishes.

Lance glared back stepping into the room and firmly—but not too loudly, his mama raised a respectable boy—closed the door behind him.

“That’s some greeting,” he sniped.

“Yeah, well, you’re an idiot.” Keith nodded to the flowers in his hands. “Who’re those for?”

Sitting down at the chair next to the bed he plopped the flowers onto Keith’s lap. “Mrs. Sanchez in 4B her grandkids made little league.”

Keith’s brow furrowed, dropping the daisy petal he was playing with. “Really?”

Lance huffed. “Of course not, they’re for you dummy.”

The line between Keith’s brows softened and he resumed stroking the bouquet. “Oh,” he said, voice soft. After a few minutes in silence he set the flowers to the side and looked Lance in the eye, his gaze intense.

“Shiro told me what you did.”

“And you wanted to thank me, of course, not a problem, buddy.”

“Lance,” Keith growled, wiping the cheeky smile off his face. “What you did was stupid and risky. I would’ve been fine for a few days. Why?”

Lance focused on the different wildflowers in the bouquet, counting the different types. “Why what?”

“Why did you do that? It was incredibly dangerous, and you’re suspended.”

Lance could feel his heart pound against his ribcage. Wasn’t the answer obvious? He felt like the answer was written all over his face. Which felt really hot, was he sweating?

He felt his heart crawl up into his throat as he turned to look at Keith, smile back on. “Wouldn’t you do the same?”

He held his breath as he searched Keith’s eyes for…something… anything. Some sign that despite the bickering and teasing that he felt the same as he did. That there was some kind of hope for something more.

Keith replied without hesitation. “Of course I would. But Lance, you didn’t even have a handler and you went into potentially hostile territory.”

Lance bit his lip. Unsure whether he found what he was looking for. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bed, forearms touching the length of Keith’s leg.

He tried to hide his shallow breaths as best as he could. Heart beating away in his throat and stomach nauseous he took a leap. “Well, when the other alternative was you dying it was worth the risk.”

Slowly, as if he moved too quickly he would spook him, he gently pried Keith’s hand from where it was tightly crossed across his torso.

Keith looked at him confusedly while he threaded their fingers together, squeezing.  He avoided those bottomless eyes by focusing on how his hand felt so warm and perfect in his. “I would risk anything as long as you were okay.”

“Oh,” Keith said, voice barely above a whisper.

Lance didn’t dare look at him in case of spontaneous combustion; his cheeks were already on fire. When Keith didn’t say anything his heart dropped to his stomach and he slowly started to unwind his fingers. He couldn’t say he was surprised.

So when Keith tightened his fingers and tugged their joined hands to his lips…Lance was…shocked.

When Keith looked up at him and tentatively gave him a sweet smile Lance felt his heart stutter. Heart humming, he dropped his forehead against Keith’s and smiled.

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @comedicdrama!

I hope you have a wonderful holiday, comedicdrama! <3

Rating: T Tags: cameraman!Stiles, painter!Derek, friends to lovers, fluff, so much fluff

*****

A Painting's Worth a Thousand Words

Stiles pulled up to the Hale house—the Hale mansion, really—and took a deep breath. It was just another show, exactly like they did every week at the studio.

Except this was the holiday show, and like every year, it would be just him and Derek in the Hale house basement for at least two hours, and then it would be a half hour drive over to the Beacon Hills Wildlife Sanctuary, at least an hour filming there, and a half hour drive back. Just the two of them. All day long.

Just Stiles, Derek, and Stiles's massive, unrequited crush.

They'd been working together for five years, since Derek had pitched the local public TV station on a painting program. It had been an unexpected hit—well, unexpected to Derek and most of the station management. Stiles had taken one look at him—dark hair, chiseled jaw dusted with black scruff, intense stare, broad shoulders, and a clear passion for painting—and he'd known the show would be huge. Even with people who'd never picked up a paintbrush in their lives.

Stiles had begged to be put on Derek's show. Thankfully, the station management hadn't needed too much convincing, and he and Derek had been together ever since.

Professionally. They'd been together professionally ever since.

Stiles really hadn't meant to go and fall head-over-heels for Derek. Early on, it had been easy enough to chalk it up to physical attraction and move on. But then he got to know Derek, saw how much he loved teaching people to paint, saw how much he loved his family and talking about their nonprofit work at the sanctuary, saw how earnest he was with people who enjoyed the show, and...

Well, at some point in the past five years, it had just happened. And now Stiles spent an inordinate amount of his life pining for one of his coworkers and closest friends. Really, that was just his fucking life.

He sighed, grabbed his camera and tripod, and proceeded to go begin one of the best and most excruciating days of his life.

***

Derek was wearing black-rimmed glasses and a green Christmas tree sweater that brought out the green in his multicolored eyes. He'd pushed the sleeves up to his elbows, revealing tanned forearms with a dusting of dark hair across them.

Stiles bit his lips to keep from making a pained noise and hoisted his tripod in greeting. "Hey, Derek! Ready to get started?"

"Just about," Derek said. "I'm still getting everything set up."

"That's okay." Stiles set his tripod on the floor. "Just stand where you'll be painting and I'll do some lighting tests while you're setting up."

Derek grinned at him, a quick one that showed just a flash of his two front teeth, and Stiles's heart did its usual triple somersault at the sight.

The basement at the Hale house was only a "basement" in the sense that it was the lowest floor of the house and partly underground. It had east-facing floor-to-ceiling windows that let in loads of natural light and a gorgeous view of the Beacon Hills Nature Preserve, and the whole thing was bigger than Stiles's apartment and fully decked out for Christmas. Derek's studio area was just one-quarter of it, and Stiles was pretty sure that part alone was bigger than his kitchen and living room combined.

Derek had an easel and canvas set up, and was squeezing his paint out onto a palette and frowning at the canvas, like he was still trying to figure out what to paint. Or maybe figuring out how to talk about it; even after five years, Stiles still wasn't a hundred percent sure how it worked.  Derek usually just...stood up and talked while he was painting and his eyes actually glowed with happiness and Stiles mostly focused on making sure that he got the shots, the audio, and didn't drool on himself.

Once he got his camera set up, he walked around the basement and adjusted the blinds and curtains, flicking lights on and off until he got a lighting setup he was happy with. He might have to get a few lights out of the Jeep after they actually did test shots, but right now, he could probably make it work with just the lights in the basement.

He went back to his bags and got out the lapel mic. "Okay, Derek, mic time."   

Derek stood up and lifted the back of his shirt, giving Stiles a glimpse of the strip of skin of his lower back.

Professional, Stiles scolded himself, and hooked the transmitter on to Derek's belt before handing him the mic to thread up through his shirt.

"You sure we need this?" Derek asked with a wrinkled nose, like he did every time.

"Yes." Stiles poked him in his unfairly muscled arm. "We always need to have two audio tracks, you know that. I'd hate to miss out on the scintillating way you say 'phthalo blue' because the shotgun cut out and we didn't have a backup. Come on, let's get started and see if I need to grab any more lights out of the car."

"There should be some in the closet," Derek said, pointing.

Stiles raised his eyebrows. "Wait, what? You have lights?"

Derek shrugged. "We shoot out here often enough that I thought it might be good to have a few lights as backup. Just in case."

Stiles went to the closet Derek had indicated. Sure enough, a lighting case and three C-stands sat on the floor, among the myriad other things in there.

Stiles gaped at them. "Dude, I can't believe you got me lighting stands!"

"It's better than you having to drive all the way back into town because you forgot them," Derek said.

Stiles whirled on him and jabbed a finger in his direction. "That was one time."

Derek snorted. "A memorable time."

Because he always dealt with his feelings in a mature way, Stiles stuck his tongue out at him.

Derek made a face right back, then went back and picked up his palette and brush. "Ready when you are."

Stiles hit the audio recorder, turned on the camera, and counted him in.

Derek smiled brilliantly, and it made Stiles's heart flutter the way it always did. "Hey, everyone. Glad you could join us today for our annual holiday show. As usual, we have a little bit of a change of scenery," he gestured to the room, "which I've used for inspiration for our painting today, since we don't exactly get a lot of snow in northern California. So we'll run the colors across the screen for you, and we'll go ahead and get started."

"Okay, cut!" Stiles said.

Derek frowned. "Everything good?"

Stiles checked the lighting on the video and then the mic recording. "Yeah, no, looks like we're good. Let's keep going."

Filming Derek's painting on location at the Hale house tended to be more stressful than filming at the studio, where Stiles had two extra cameras and way more lighting control. But the holiday episode was always a huge one for the station, and Stiles did enjoy the time they got to spend together here.

Listening to Derek talk about painting and watching him paint was probably Stiles's favorite part of his job. Derek always looked a little flushed and happy when he did, and he got visibly excited to see a painting come together. Even after five years of watching him do this once a week, Stiles still hadn't gotten over it.

They only had to cut twice, and before Stiles knew it, Derek was finishing up the painting and giving his traditional sign off, ending with, "And wherever you are, I hope you have the happiest of holiday seasons."

"Cut!" Stiles called.

Derek set his palette aside. "So what do you think? Does it look okay?"

"Dude." Stiles stretched, staring at the landscape painting of the wildlife preserve in winter. He'd watched Derek push paint around on the canvas for an hour and he still wasn't sure how it was done. "That's fantastic. I think this going to be your most popular holiday episode yet."

Derek ducked his head, but Stiles caught the edge of his smile. "You're just saying that."

"I never just say anything," Stiles said. "Well, sometimes I do, but not about things this important. Seriously, dude, it's good."

Derek scratched the back of his head. "Then you're biased."

"I probably am, but eh." Stiles's stomach rumbled. "Hey, you want to grab lunch somewhere before we head out to the wildlife sanctuary?"

"Actually, we've got food upstairs," Derek said. "My dad made spaghetti last night, and there are tons of leftovers. We also have some apple cider, if you want?"

"That sounds amazing," Stiles said.

The tips of Derek's ears turned red. "Okay, I'll go get it ready."

Stiles grabbed his computer and the memory cards out of the camera and audio recorder. "Then I'm going to dump the files while we're eating."

Stiles followed Derek up the stairs and settled at the kitchen table to dump the files onto his computer, and Derek got out the spaghetti and apple cider to heat up.

Stiles brought the first video files up to make sure everything had recorded correctly, and let out a sigh of relief when the file was clean; you only needed to have a file get corrupted once before it made you paranoid every time.

A mug of apple cider landed on the counter beside him. "How does it look?" Derek asked.

Wow, he was standing...very close. Stiles had to resist the urge to lean back into him. "It looks great, like I told you. I can't wait to put the whole thing together."

"We still need to get the footage from the wildlife sanctuary," Derek reminded him.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Stiles said. "What do you think, head out there around one?"

Derek took a sip of his cider. "That should work. As long as you get something to eat first."

"Dude, you're literally making me lunch right now." Stiles gestured at the microwave. "You act like I don't eat anything."

"You don't, unless Allison or I make you," Derek said. "How many times have I had to drag you away from your computer to get lunch?"

"Just once," Stiles muttered. "Or twice."

Derek poked him. "A week."

Stiles tried to elbow him, but Derek had moved out of reach. "It's not that often."

"It's often enough." Derek went to get the spaghetti out of the microwave and brought it over. "Now eat, and don't get too distracted watching the videos."

Stiles rolled his eyes, but he minimized the videos and dove into his spaghetti. Holy shit, it was fantastic. "Oh my God, I'm going to marry this pasta."

Derek coughed and turned to his own bowl. "I'll let Dad know you like it."

"Does he cook like this all the time? Because seriously, I will camp out in your backyard for table scraps."

Derek rolled his eyes. "We have plenty of bedrooms, in case you hadn't noticed. I'm sure we can stick you in one of those. Mom will never notice."

Stiles grinned at him. "You're a true friend."

Derek jabbed his fork into the spaghetti. "I try."

***

They drove out to the Beacon Hills Wildlife Sanctuary as soon as they'd finished eating, a good thirty minutes across the preserve from the Hale's house. Stiles spent most of the drive trying not to get distracted by Derek's forearms or his soft smile.

"We have a lot of new animals out there right now," Derek said. "Deer, wolf cubs, squirrels...which do you think would be best to feature?"

Stiles choked at the thought of Derek playing with any of them.  Derek and adorable animals was really his kryptonite. "Uh, I really don't think it matters. Any of them will be great. Which ones are you most comfortable with?"

"Any of them," Derek said. "I've been helping feed the wolf cubs when I come out to volunteer."

"That's good. Let's do that," Stiles said. "People will go crazy for adorable baby wolves."

"Cubs," Derek corrected him.

"And that's why you do the talking on camera," Stiles said with a wink.

Derek blushed and crossed his arms. "God knows you talk enough off it."

"Aw, come on, what would you do without my rambling?"

"Suffer in silence," Derek said, but he was grinning.

It made Stiles's heart flip, and he had to turn back to focus on the road.

The Hales had been running the Beacon Hills Wildlife Sanctuary as long as Stiles could remember. From what Derek had told him, the sanctuary was his parents' baby, and when they'd first started working together, it had been on the brink of shutting down. Since the painting show had started to take off and Stiles knew at least 50% of that popularity was due to the fact that Derek was hotter than the surface of the sun, he'd suggested featuring some of the animals on the show. The only thing better than watching an attractive man talk passionately about painting was watching him bottle-feed baby deer.

It had been even more popular than he'd hoped it would be, and now the wildlife sanctuary had doubled in size, added three more full-time positions, and featured a ton of cool educational programs Stiles would have killed for when he was in elementary school. It had also helped the popularity of Derek's show as well, which made station management supremely happy.

Stiles had never told anyone the only reason he'd had the idea was because Derek looked utterly gutted at the thought of the sanctuary shutting down, and Stiles would have hand-crafted a rocket out of bubble gum and paperclips to fly to the outer reaches of the solar system if it meant never seeing that look on Derek's face again.

The wildlife sanctuary wasn't terribly crowded, being that it was the middle of a work day and the schools weren't out for winter break yet, so the only person working was Laura, Derek's older sister, who waved excitedly when they walked in. "Hey! You guys are earlier than I expected."

Stiles hoisted his camera. "We got through the painting a lot faster than I thought we would because Derek's an overachiever."

Derek elbowed him. "Hey, I just paint. You're the one who makes it look good."

Laura made gagging noises. "Get a room, please."

Stiles's face heated. "Maybe we will. But make it with the baby wolves."

"Cubs. Wolf cubs. We literally just went over this," Derek said.

Laura raised her eyes to the ceiling and muttered something Stiles couldn't hear. "Okay, wolf cubs. Come on down the hall and I'll get you set up."

The baby wolves—wolf cubs—were even more adorable than Stiles had pictured, and he had a pretty good concept of what adorable looked like. Three gangly, fluffy grey wolves and one gangly, fluffy white wolf tripped all over Derek, chewing at his sweater and making squeaky howls and yips that were so cute Stiles was pretty sure he was going to get a cavity from it. They had to cut several times because Derek was laughing too hard to talk about the wolves and why they were at the sanctuary.

Stiles kind of wished someone would stab him and put him out of his misery, because this level of adorable was too much for one human being to physically handle.

On the other side of the room, Laura watched him with a terrifying smirk. Stiles was pretty sure she knew exactly what he was thinking, which helped him rein in the desire to just throw himself on Derek and pledge undying love. He sure as hell wasn't doing that in front of Derek's sister.

Despite the interruptions, they finished up the shoot in less than two hours, and Stiles had a boatload of footage with Derek and the wolf cubs to use in the holiday episode. Even better was that he had a ton of outtakes to use on the station website, which would make everybody happy.

Laura bid them farewell, staring at Stiles like she could see straight into his soul the entire time. Stiles steadfastly ignored her and really hoped she wouldn't say anything to Derek.

"Your sister's kind of scary sometimes," he said as they pulled away.

"She's harmless," Derek said. "Mostly."

Stiles raised his eyebrows. "Mostly harmless?"

Derek grinned. "Just like Earth."

Stiles laughed out loud. He knew Derek was a not-so-secret nerd, but he still got a kick out of it every time Derek made a reference.

"Do you have a minute?" Derek asked when they got back to the Hale house. "I have something to show you."

"Yeah, sure," Stiles said. He didn't really have anywhere else to be, and even though it was almost painful to be around Derek alone for so long, he didn't want the day to end.

He followed Derek back into the house and down to the basement, and Derek went to a stack of paintings under cloth in the back corner of the room. Stiles stayed back and watched him flip through the canvases until he apparently found the one he wanted and pulled it out.

He walked back to Stiles hesitantly, still holding the canvas backward so that Stiles couldn't see what it was.

His heart beat faster. "What you got there, big guy?"

Derek bit his lip. "I don't...paint people often. But, with this one, I wanted to try, and..." He trailed off and exhaled sharply, and then handed the painting to Stiles. "Here."

Stiles took the painting and slowly turned it around.

It was him.

He was laughing, his mouth wide open and his eyes crinkled at the corners, looking off to the left side of the canvas. The colors were so warm, it looked like he was glowing, and Stiles's heart seized in his chest.

"Where did you...how did you...?" he tried to ask, but the words wouldn't come.

"It was a picture Allison took at one of the station parties earlier this year," Derek said quietly. "I had her send me a copy. I probably threw away five pieces before I was happy with that one. It was...really hard to get right."

He felt completely winded. "Holy shit, Derek."

Derek winced and rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, I—"

"Don't you dare apologize," Stiles said. He couldn't take his eyes off the painting, because holy fuck Derek had painted him. "Don't—oh my God, dude, this is—"

He didn't have words. For once in his life, Stiles was utterly speechless.

He set the painting down, walked over to Derek, and kissed him right on the lips.

Derek blinked dazedly when Stiles pulled back. "Uh."

"I'm kind of in love with you," Stiles blurted out. "Maybe a lot in love with you. Holy shit, I can't believe you painted me. Do you want to go out for coffee sometime?"

Derek laughed softly. "I feel like we went in reverse order there."

"Dude, you painted me," Stiles said. "I'm pretty sure that's one step before engagement."

Derek flushed bright red. "I think that's moving a little too fast. But...coffee would be nice. Or maybe dinner?"

"Dinner would be fantastic," Stiles said. "And, to be perfectly honest, I would not be opposed to more kissing. Better kissing. That one was really just because I had no idea what to say because you fucking painted me."

Derek grinned and bent his head toward Stiles's. "So, I take it you liked the painting?"

Stiles linked his hands behind Derek's neck. "Yes, Derek, I liked the pain—"

Derek kissed him, and Stiles had never been happier to shut up in his life. And he was right: this was way better kissing. Derek was probably better at kissing than he was at painting, and he was awesome at painting.

"You know, uh, if you ever want me to actually sit for you to paint, I'd do it," Stiles said when they finally stopped making out long enough to breathe.

"You'd have to sit still for a few hours," Derek said. "I'm not sure you could manage it."

Stiles poked him in the shoulder. "Hey, you'd be surprised what I could do for you."

Derek's smile went soft. "Oh, yeah?"

Heat crept up the back of Stiles's neck, and he fought the urge to look away. "Well. Yeah. Obviously."

"I'll keep that in mind," Derek said, and leaned in close. "Merry Christmas, Stiles."

"Merry Christmas, Derek," Stiles whispered before Derek sealed their lips together once again.

[magicofthepen]

Gallifrey Relisten: A Blind Eye

The end of Series 1! (I will admit I had to stop myself from immediately jumping into Lies because that’s when things really get going for me.) Some thoughts:

Mentions of/spoilers for: Neverland, Zagreus, Spirit, Insurgency, Enemy Lines, the Time War audios (but in a vague way).

Romana announces her name and title and then immediately follows that up with “I want no record of my being here” lol.

This episode is the closest we get to “everyone has to dress up fancy for an event” and it’s a shame we don’t get more of this! I would love more off-world and/or dress up episodes that are less......dire probably isn’t the right word because there’s some heavy things going on in this episode...maybe frantic? There is definitely a difference between the degree of tension in A Blind Eye and the degree of tension in the off-world episodes in Time War, for instance. (Also A Blind Eye has more banter.) I’m pretty sure it’s just A Blind Eye and Spirit that capture this sense of “we’re going to do something different for an episode” and I like it! (I feel like this is part of my ongoing push for a post-Enemy Lines, pre-Time War series of misc. CIA missions and shenanigans. Please someone just shove more side adventures into gaps in the timeline.)

The banter! The banter. (“You have your business face on. / You’re a transtemporal crook Arkadian, meeting you could never be a pleasure.”) 1. Arkadian is a supremely entertaining villain, and 2. he’s a tremendously good villain opposite Romana specifically, purely for snark and banter reasons.

I was never a big fan of the Sissy Pollard portrayal — the character’s personality feels too....exaggerated? Over the top? And not in an effective or interesting way.

Romana’s defense of Charley is actually quite sweet, given that they weren’t super friendly in Neverland/Zagreus.

Romana chastises Leela for careless talk, but uhhh if you wanted to keep things subtle and not reveal anything, maybe don’t have Leela suddenly grab Sissy?

“Madam, the Alps are in the other direction.” “Are they? Damn.” / “Be careful, you’ll break it!” “I’ll break you in a minute.” Truly, maximum levels of scathing Romana snark in this episode. 

I have never seen anyone mention this, so I always assumed I’m not hearing it right, but....when the original!timeline train is about to crash into them....does Romana tell Narvin to fuck off?

Andred has a whole scene with no other Time Lord witnesses in which he could have told Leela the truth and yet.

“I am a Guard Commander of Gallifrey” apparently I never paid enough attention to what he actually said here because I think that was the first time I noticed that Andred gave his Chancellery Guard title, not his CIA title.

“Arkadian! You’ve met with that crook!?” Shoutout to Narvin for some A+ false indignation here.

I’m not sure there was a way to write a parallel between between real world Naziism and Leela’s fictional past without having it come off a bit as oversimplifying/cheapening the horrors of Nazi Germany. (But I’m white and raised Christian, so I’m also really not the person to be speaking in depth about the portrayal of Nazis in this episode.)

Does Arkadian know about Andred? I assume that he would just because he generally knows most things, but hmm it adds another layer.

Narvin is genuinely surprised when Romana gives in and agrees to leave lol.

Ms. Joy — it’s funny because we the listeners know that the one random character must be there for a reason, so it feels like the only reason the characters don’t know she’s suspicious is that they don’t know they’re in an audio drama episode and so she must be important to the plot.

Did Narvin really intend for Romana to go with “Torvald”? “At least he’s have been exposed?” Way to throw your President under the bus sir (although possibly he assumed that Torvald wouldn’t actually assassinate the President?)

“See, it is always a monster.” Wait, I take it back, Leela knows she’s in a Doctor Who (adjacent) episode.

“The only name in town where there’s temporal naughtiness to be done” — the Arkadian = Brax crack(?) theory is the most “I can’t unhear this” thing that’s happened to me since Narvin/Torvald. What is it with y’all and Series 1, I’m losing it. 

...does Andred have a plan when he lowkey kidnaps Romana or is he just panicking? He is quite genuinely pleading with Romana to go along with him into the TARDIS and sounds genuinely desperate. But then he seems to regain control and starts more tactically trying to persuade Romana to work along side him without giving her any real answers. Although really, he must know that he’s very close to discovery — maybe he wants to resolve the past!Torvald situation first? Or maybe he’s not thinking that far ahead?

“I have no paws.” Awww K9.

“I think you’re a bad President. I think you’ve willfully sacrificed Gallifreyan influence upon the altar of your own increasingly cranky liberal agenda.” 1. “increasingly cranky liberal agenda” is such a specific insult wow, 2. I can’t tell how much of this is Andred still trying to be Torvald and how much he actually means this? The politics of this incarnation of Andred were always a bit fuzzy to me, even in series 2.

Also. Any conversation between Romana and Andred has a whole weird vibe on relisten when you know about the uhhh future murdering that’s going to happen.

I do love a Dramatic Reveal, and this one is incredibly dramatic.

....does the train crash? Does the train not crash? I’ve always been a bit confused about what happens in that moment — I assume Romana doesn’t actually plan on the train hitting the TARDIS, and we hear the TARDIS dematerialize so I think the train is fine? But it’s a weirdly ambiguous sound/end of scene.

“I can tell you are lying. It’s when your lips move.” Okay Leela snarking at Arkadian is also very good.

It is genuinely so interesting how connected this plot is to Neverland/Zagreus — if I had to pick one “you should listen to this audio before Gallifrey” I'd go for the Apocalypse Element because of the enormous ripples it casts in terms of Romana’s characterization (and also it’s more stand alone), but I imagine this episode would be particularly confusing without Neverland/Zagreus? (Would be curious to hear people’s experiences.)

“I never lie!” Romana, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told. 

The narration of what happened to Andred by Andred and Romana is um. It’s a little bit obviously an info dump for the listener, but I’m not sure it’s the best way for Leela to find out? I mean, hearing the context and explanation probably was a better idea than just “oh btw I’m Andred”.....possibly this felt weird to me because of the acting? It’s very emotionally detached, very “so this is what happened” — Andred manages some emotion afterwards when he’s pleading with Leela but uh. He could have sounded more apologetic here.

Leela. Leela. “You have watched me suffer and worn my enemy’s clothes?” / “The man that I loved is dead.” Goddddd I want to give her a hug so much ughhhhh. Leela just goes through so many awful things throughout....all of Gallifrey actually, and she still remains such a good person with such a genuinely caring heart......give her a break please.

“I think the only person who’d actually benefit from a temporal war would be a...dealer in arms? A trader in secrets? A fixer and a fiddler. A dishonest broker with no scruples and no shame.” / “An interesting theory Madam. Prove it.” I just really like the delivery of this bit. Although: I realize there were several things going on at this point, but really, they just let Arkadian walk away at the end?

And thus ends Series 1. It has some highs and lows but it honestly ranks near the bottom on my constantly-in-flux list of favorite-to-least favorite Gallifrey series. (Weapon of Choice is probably the only episode I actively look forward to relistening to?) I said in my Weapon of Choice post that Series 1 was a nice “palate cleanser” after Apocalypse Element and the Charley arc through Zagreus, and that was true for the first time listening, but I think some of those same attributes mean I’m kinda meh about relistening to it. It just doesn’t hold my interest quite as much as many of the other series. (Series 2 though....👀)

EDIT: I realized I forgot to tell my personal story of my first time listening to the Andred reveal, and I wanted to have some record of that, even if I don’t quite remember the specifics of my reaction. In general, my first listen of Gallifrey was shaped by knowing a lot of major spoilers, which is what happens when you spent a lot of time lurking on Tumblr blogs in advance of listening to the series. (It actually led to a lot of super fascinating experiences of “well I know X happens, but I don’t know how or why” and being really curious to find out how X played out.)

So I knew something about Andred and Torvald going in, and I think I should have known that it was simply Torvald = Andred, but somehow I got it in my head that oh no, no it’s weirder and more complicated than that. But of course there are a lot of hints throughout series 1 that Torvald is Andred, so the first listen was this cycle of me going “I think maybe Torvald is just Andred? Nah, it’s going to be more convoluted than that. But no really, it makes sense that Torvald is Andred...” etc. etc. So it was a weird experience of knowing pretty early on that Torvald might be Andred, but still not being quite sure until the end of series one. The other bit of this is that I can’t remember at what point I knew that Andred died (and how) — I think I may have known he died before I listening to Gallifrey (or at the very least I knew that he was written out in some way or another earlier on), so that may have also confused me further re: the series one question of: what actually happened to Andred? All around, an odd experience of “I was spoiled...but somehow I still wasn’t sure what was going on” and I wasn’t surprised per se but it was still a reveal. 

Next Episode Reaction: Lies

Previous Episode Reaction: The Inquiry