#probably around 18/19 (according to episode 42)

[t-u-i-t-c]

thinking about go-onger again

[gallusrostromegalus]

Just Some Proof I'm Writing This Fic:

The Fic has turned into a fucking Monster now, but I have the Tentative Chapter Titles for all of The Power Of Friendship (And This Gun I Found!)!! It's a Long Post, so the whole list is under the cut, but the Seasons are called:

Season One: Channel Island Caper

Season Two: Battle Royale With Cheese

Season Three: Make Lovecraft, Not Warcraft

Season Four: The Height Of Idiocy Is About The Same As This Tower

Season Five: Santorini Dreamin'

Season Six: It's The End Of The World As We Know It

Season One: Channel Island Caper

Episode 1: It's Not Like Any Of Us Were Going To College Anyway

Episode 2: There Was Definitely Room For Both Of Them On That Door

Episode 3: Parks And Desolation

Episode 4: A Very Particular Set Of Skills

Episode 5: How to Mine For Phish

Episode 6: We Can Have A Little Murder. As A Treat.

Episode 7: The Clown Pagliacci

Episode 8: Kink Shaming Is My Kink

Episode 9: Monster Mash (ed peas)

Episode 10: Does Anyone Know Where The Mountain Dew Is?

Episode 11: The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known

Episode 12: Friendship Speech

Episode 13: The Theological Implications Of Bugs Bunny

Episde 14: There's No Business Like Show Business

Episode 15: When Did Mötley Crüe Become Classic Rock?

Episode 16: Noodle Incident

Episode 17: This Episode Contains The Worst Joke You've Ever Heard

Episode 18: Dante's Disco Inferno

Episde 19: Ancient Egyptian Large Hadron Collider

Episode 20: That Belongs In A Museum!

Episode 21: My Husband With An Economics And Finance Degree Helped Me Write This Chapter

Episode 22: The Gods Have No Fury Like A Parent Scorned

Season 2: Battle Royale With Cheese

Episode 23: Maybe Next Time Use LoJack?

Episdoe 24: Ancient Egyptian Large Hadron Collider, Now With Pictures Because I Heard Y'all Were Stupid

Episode 25: Having Fun Ain't Hard, When You Have A Library Card!

Episode 26: Terms And Conditions Apply

Episode 27: Foresight is 50/50

Episode 28: Do You Do Children's Parties?

Episode 29: Ivermectin

Episode 30: Clown College Dropout

Episode 31: In Which You All Get To Learn About My Special Interest

Episode 32: IntricateRituals.meme

Episode 33: Ride Of the Valkyries

Episode 34: Math Problem

Episode 35: Because Things Went So Well With the Hindenberg

Episode 36: It's Like A Seder With Vincent Price

Episode 37: Feature Creep

Episode 38: Man's Best Friend

Episode 39: Above All, To Thine Own Self Be True

Episode 40: So Long, And Thanks For All The Fish

Episode 41: Midnight Bender At Bernie's

Season Three: Make Lovecraft, not Warcraft:

Episode 42: Breakfast Club

Episode 43: Monster Factory

Episode 44: Beautiful And Terrible As The Dawn

Episode 45: One Is A Genius, the Other's Insane

Episode 46: Mine Will Be The Shiniest Empire

Episode 47: He'll Kick Himself When He Remembers The Rocket Boots

Episode 48: Deus Vult, Motherfuckers

Episode 49: Frankenstein Has Some Regrets

Episode 50: Scooby Doo Hall Scene

Season Four: The Height Of Idiocy Is About The Same As This Tower

Episode 51: Who's on First, What's on Second-

Episode 52: Chess With A Pigeon

Episode 53: Master Of Ceremonies

Episode 54: The Steaks Are High

Episode 55: Fuck Around-

Episode 56: -And Find Out

Episode 57: Beach Episode

Episode 58: An Old Priest And A Young Priest

Episode 59: Nobody's-Getting-Any-Slumber Party

Season 5: Santorini Dreamin'

Episode 60: Ignoring The Most Important Dungeons And Dragons Rule

Episode 61: Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right, But Three Thefts Do!

Episode 62: (in)Human After All

Episode 63: Destroy Your Local Golf Course

Episode 64: GIRL'S NIGHT!!

Episode 65: You Can Keep Your El Dorado, And To Hell With Burgundy!

Episode 66: It's Constantinople, Not Istanbul

Episode 67: The Most Dangerous Game

Episode 68: 'What I Did On My Summer Vacation' Essay

Season Six: It's The End Of The World As We Know It :)

Episode 69 (nice): It's Just A Jump To The Left!

Episode 70: At Least David Bowie Isn't In Here, Fondling His Balls?

Episode 71: All According To Keikaku

Episode 72: A Stranger In Paradise

Episode 73: Oh Mama I'm In Fear For My Life From The Long Arm Of The Law

Episode 74: That Left Turn At Albaquerque

Episode 75: The Power Of Friendship (+4 ATK/+10DMG)

Episode 76: Ammemoarpigi

Episode 77: I Hate Ending Stories, So I'm Not Going To.

I seem to be clocking an average of 5K per chapter so this beast will probably be... 385,000 words (72% of a Le Miserables) when I'm done?

lol.

[spideyykid]

I posted 737 times in 2021

54 posts created (7%)

683 posts reblogged (93%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 12.6 posts.

I added 317 tags in 2021

#peter parker - 64 posts

#tony stark - 52 posts

#spideyykid - 40 posts

#irondad and spiderson - 38 posts

#what if spoilers - 31 posts

#fanfic - 20 posts

#spider man - 19 posts

#marvel fic - 18 posts

#iron dad - 18 posts

#marvel - 17 posts

Longest Tag: 111 characters

#i mean knowing marvel if he was in this episode he’d probably would have slipped on some spilt alcohol and died

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I’m sorry but Captain America wouldn’t have been a better mentor for Peter in the MCU. Sure- I agree that Peter would have been more torn about the Accords if he had all the information, but Peter’s whole thing is “responsibility over personal self”.

Spider-Man has always been a character riddled with the guilt of a death he could have prevented, and spends his entire life trying to rectify that choice- feeling responsible for the well-being of others. This is reflected in almost every version of Spider-Man, and is shown in his first ever appearance in the MCU:

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.”

Tony’s entire motivation with the accords is responsibility, and Peter’s guilt is directly mirrored with Tony’s- something we see at the start of civil war with that women blaming him for her child’s death. Tony needs to fix- needs to protect, and to him- as flawed as it may be, the accords are a way to do that.

So here we have Peter Parker- a tech genius who creates web shooters out of scraps and was given insane powers at 14 and used them for good instead of becoming popular. He’s a snarky kid whose impulsive and wants to do good so god damn bad but keeps messing up, keeps hurting the ones he loves and becomes too obsessed with a suit that makes him feel invincible.

You’re telling me the best mentor for this kid is Captain America- just because they both are New Yorkers who were given powers? Their motivations are entirely different- and the way they go about doing things don’t match up.

Tony and Peter come from completely different backgrounds, and on the surface level- are different people. When you look at the core of who they are, how they act- why they do the things they do- Tony is the person who can understand Peter in a way the Steve would never be able to.

People like to criticize MCU Peter for being “Iron Man Jr.”- but he isn’t, not at all. He’s not a sidekick, not dependent- the whole point of Homecoming is that Peter doesn’t need Tony’s tech to succeed, nor his permission to be a super hero. Far From Home worked to show us that Peter would never be the next Iron Man- because Iron Man is his own thing, and Peter is Spider-Man- a hero in his own right. Peter is the Legacy- not a copy, and not Iron Man’s legacy, but Tony Stark himself. The most telling and raw way to show that as a concept, and it was sitting right in front of us.

114 notes • Posted 2021-08-21 17:37:52 GMT

#4

I enjoy how collectively, as a fandom, we’ve decided that Tony Stark definitely calls Peter Parker “Bambi”- someone said it and we all went “absolutely right sir” and now it’s in every fanfic

124 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 05:42:32 GMT

#3

Bro I JUST want the MCU to acknowledge that Bruce Banner and Wanda Maximoff also had a part in creating Ultron, not just Tony Stark

AND out of that trio, the only one with bad intentions was Wanda- she may have redeemed herself in the end, but she was the villain in this situation- and she bears almost no consequences for her actions.

Honestly if it was the other way around, and Tony took advantage of a traumatized Wanda and got in her head that she needed to protect the ones she loved and lead her to an infinity stone that he knew would cause death and destruction- NONE of you would be debating who the bad guy was.

Tony was a victim, did he fuck up? Yes- and I’m not saying he was completely blameless- but Jesus Christ is him being labeled a “monster” and “Ultron’s only creator” SUCH a bad take.

145 notes • Posted 2021-09-29 14:20:57 GMT

#2

I have a headcannon for the marvel zombie episode, that the only reason Happy willingly was a part of the “zombie survival guide” video is because Peter was initially devastated over losing Aunt May and Mr. Stark- and Happy knew it would cheer him up

250 notes • Posted 2021-09-08 16:03:40 GMT

#1

In an alternate (better) timeline the Avengers take one look at Peter- a short brunette with brown eyes that’s super snarky, rambles on and on, is a literal genius who tinkers with tech in his spare time and invented both web shooters out of scraps he found in dumpsters and a new chemical compound in his classroom without the teacher noticing. Who has the biggest guilt complex imaginable and throws himself into danger without thinking and is incredibly impulsive, a bit of a loner who doesn’t always work well on a team but tries so hard-

It’s just a constant battle of “I don’t know if Peter is Tony’s kid and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.”

521 notes • Posted 2021-08-28 01:10:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[jean----ralphio]

BoB live blog ep 2!

Aw yis episode 2 pls

Episode 2: Day of days.

And now for some shameless self-promotion: I named the restaurant in my BoB restaurant!au fanfic Jour des Jours, which according to google translate is French for day of days. It was a French restaurant. See what I did? I’m so smart. Any way it’s on AO3 if you wanna read it – Speirton have sex in a wine cellar. That’s the only thing I remember because tbh what else matters?

Anyway

On to the ep!

02:25 Once again I am an emotional wreck after just the credits. THE. MUSIC.

02:26 THEN THIS SHOW HAS THE AUDACITY TO HIT ME WITH IRL DICK WINTERS. NO. NO I CANNOT. I CANNOT COPE YOU GUYS I AM WEAK I LOVE YOU IRL DICK WINTERS!

04:02 OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD NO DON’T CRY IRL BABY, DON’T CRY I CAN’T HANDLE IT

04:58 RICH. I feel better now. Is it the best idea to be smoking at this point, Rich?

05:12 LOL at Dick staring, and his little smile. Kinda creepy there, Dick.

06:00 This is getting stressful. I am getting stressed.

06:15 Dick I really wish you would move away from the fucking door, I am having a hard enough time as it is

06:40 RICH.

06:45 Oh, nervous boys

06:56 Rich be careful, don’t break the clicky thing

07:27 OH GOD

08:08 OH SHIT

08:20 OH GOD NO. I AM STRESSED.

08:57 OH NO

09:05 OH NOOOOO

09:17 OH NO, OH GOD, FUCK

09:30 GUYS. STRESS.

10:20 JESUS SHIT

10:21 THAT WAS A MESS

11:05 I’m still so scared ahhhh Dick :s

11:08 Oh what did he lose? All his gear?? It’s karma for stressing me out so much.

11:14 That looked like it hurt

11:24 Aw baby. Hey Moriarty.

11:37 Dick coached the basketball team? Cute

11:57 LMFAO at their little crab walks

12:00 Nope. Not that way. Abort abort

12:24 Aw Moriarty looks so scared. It’s OK Moriarty you’re safe with Dad Winters.

13:01 OHHH his little shuddery breath <3 It’s OK! Dick will protect you!

13:33 Dick is just the sweetest, calming him down and cheering him up. And he’s so chill and natural about it.

13:40 “We’re not lost, private, we’re in Normandy.” LOL DICK ILY

14:31 That’s so cute, they’re so desperate to get to Dad <3

14:52 DAFUQ.

14:53 Ohhhh. Still weird. Smart but weird.

16:16 Everyone’s so happy to see Dick <3

16:25 “Who the hell is Hall?” Sorry I snorted lmao

16:55 Dad to the rescue

17:35 DAMMIT BILL. THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.

17:47 NOT THE HORSE! COME ON, BILL, DAFUQ

18:00 I do not like this. At all.

18:04 STOP.

18:17 DAD IS ANGRY. AND SO AM I.

18:20 Are you trying to step into the vacant punk bitch role, now that Ross is gone, Bill? ILY but come on, man.

18:23 Thank you Joe/Charlie

18:34 BILL. DO NOT.

18:37 Moriarty, baby, it’s OK

18:44 LMAO

19:11 Ew mosquitoes

19:25 Joe/Charlie is the best <3 “What was he gonna do, shout at them?” <3

19:42 Oh dear

20:10 The cows are like lol fuck off, this is our bombed out little field, get your own

20:14 Oh no

20:54 Malark, honey, no

21:24 Dick’s like ohhhhhh

21:44 Malark! Come on, leave him alone

21:50 The biggest plot twist

21:55 Fella’s hot

22:08 Same as you, Malark

22:18 I wouldn’t mind fraternizing with that particular enemy tbh

22:29 Ah. Poor horses </3 The boys had to make do I guess…

22:50 Lieb <3

23:01 Buck’s here too, thank God

23:14 Lord, thank you for his eyes

23:15 Look I feel like the most important issue has not been addressed WHERE THE FUCK IS RICH?

23:26 Dick’s like oh fuck I hope not. Except Dick Winters would never swear

23:32 Speirs! His smile is so creepy.

23:36 Speirs is like I don’t know, and I don’t care, it’s fine. I’m a one-man platoon, everyone else would just slow me down.

23:43 DON’T GIVE THEM TO HIM BUCK

24:03 No baby, you won’t.

24:10 Hot guy knows it, too

24:18 Speirs makes slogging through that mud look so easy lol

24:40 *Sigh*

25:15 Is Joe/Charlie still fixated on getting to Berlin to shank Hitler? Probably

25:58 Lol Speirs is so nosy

27:00 Aw but he bonded with you! Aw baby </3

27:15 Mood, tbh. Lip is literally the only Easy boy I would trust with TNT.

28:05 I don’t know why but this makes me lol. Stop playing hide and seek in the car, Dick

29:57 That’s my aesthetic. Lip and blossoms.

30:13 Speirs, your boy needs you!

31:04 There’s so much happening so fast, I can’t keep up. Which is probably on purpose.

31:21 OK I’M SO SORRY BUT THE “FUCK! MY ASS!” SUBTITLE STAYED ON MY SCREEN FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I LOST MY SHIT LAUGHING

31:39 Aw, Pop, baby

32:12 So stressful. Again.

32:29 Buck’s like oh cool that’s sick, lemme see

33:05 BUCK! Be careful!

33:18 Joe/Charlie is not having a good time right now. You know what would make things better for him? IF RICH WAS THERE. WHERE. IS. RICH.

34:13 He got his brass knuckles at last, so there’s that.

35:00 Malark!!

35:10 YOU IDIOT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

35:30 Lip’s busy being mum, give him a sec

35:55 Love you Moriarty

37:02 I just. The camera. Like shaking and mirroring his running and you can just feel the desperation and the frantic emotions and you can’t tell what’s happening because HE can’t tell what’s happening and it’s all just so rushed and scary and such a scramble and I.

37:38 Noooo

38:02 NOOOOOOOOOO

38:06 Not your fault Dick

38:26 I gasped

38:42 Ohhhh lookey here

38:55 Aw Lip

39:04 JFC. SPEIRS. MY DUDE. ISTG. He just springs up out of nowhere with a pile of ammo. (Also his fingers? JFC Lord have mercy). I feel like he is just SO. EXCITED. TO. KILL. So terrifying.

39:47 LMAO ohhh Lip <3 Your BF is here now, it’s fine.

41:09 I wish my husband would roll in on a tank. Actually no. No I don’t. I would be very concerned and would tell him to put it back where he found it.

41:12 FLIRTING. AGAIN. It’s almost cute enough to distract me from the fact that I HAVEN’T SEEN RICH IN A LONG TIME I AM NOT CONTENT. I do feel like it’s key that that is legit the first thing Nix does upon seeing Dick alive and well <3

42:25 Aw boys. I loved this whole scene.

43:22 Aw lol Dick

43:41 LMFAO GET WRECKED BILL

43:56 Dick your husband is calling you, pay attention

44:11 “Don’t ever get a cat” LMAO. Let your husband open the can, Dick. Aw I love that Nix knows already something is wrong and Dick is upset.

44:47 NIX GO TO HIM

44:55 You will save more people, Dick </3

46:00 Baby

46:30 DESERVED

 Guys I would like to file an official complaint about the lack of Rich.

But God.

This episode. Play time and training time and running around Taccoa and Pottery barn in England with Ross the douchebag, that’s all in the past. Now it’s all real </3

[dreamscatch]

50 questions

i was tagged by @princess-shurii ����

1. What takes up too much of your time? - procrastinating ashgjdhj and just laying in bed on my phone for hours

2. What makes your day better? - music, talking with people, taking a bit of time to myself!

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? - i woke up only like 3 hours ago and haven’t really done much yet so i honestly guess it was the queer eye episode i just watched (i cried but then again i cry in almost every single episode)

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? - moominvalley!!!

5. Are you good at giving advice? - definitely depends on the subject but i’ve been told i’m pretty good with advice i guess?

6. Do you have any mental illness? - yeah i have anxiety & panic disorders

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? - i have not :o

8. What musician inspired you the most? - there’s like so many musicians that have inspired me but let’s say panic! at the disco, eden and bts!

9. Have you ever fallen in love? - not really tbh

10. What’s your dream date? - anything cute and little, like a little walk or a picnic in the spring idk

11. What do others notice about you? - that i’m tiny ?? idk you’d have to ask someone else :D

12. What is an annoying habit you have? - complaining, ripping the skin on my fingers etc

13. Do you still talk to your first love? - no??

14. How many exes do you have? - i’d say 0 because i don’t count any of those ppl as my exes

15. How many songs are in your playlist? - i have so many playlists skjadhkj but the one with the most songs has 676 songs!

16. What instruments can you play? - piano, ukulele, guitar, kalimba + kantele (kind of lmao)

17. What do you have the most pictures of? - on my phone it’s like 90% memes & kpop pictures and 10% selfies

18. Where would you like to go before you die? - there’s so many places :o i need to see some good ol’ mountains at some point, that’s for sure. also japan.

19. What is your zodiac? - cancer

20. Do you relate to it? - mostly yes

21. What is happiness to you? - feeling good about myself, seeing things in a new light, having the people i love around me

22. Are you going through anything right now? - i’m going through a lot because i’m graduating in exactly 2 months and future feels uncertain but i’m coping

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? - sticking for so long with some of the people who ended up hurting me the most

24. What’s your favorite store? - i’m not sure, i love bookstores a lot!

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? - everyone should have the possibility to choose for themselves and their body

26. Do you keep a bucket list? - not really, only a mental one

27. Do you have a favorite album? - p!atd - twtltrtd, the killers - day and age, bts - ly:tear, eden - vertigo, rm - mono, top - trench and the nbhd - wiped out! (ok i wasn’t probably supposed to name them all but there they are lol)

28. What do you want for your birthday? - i haven’t really thought about it yet

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? - i have no idea, you’d have to ask the people :D

30. What age do you seem according to most people? - younger than i am most of the time, i guess i’ve been told i look like 16 or something

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? - on my bedside table

32. What word do you say the most? - idk, maybe something like “okay”

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? - something around 21 i guess?

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? - i don’t think i’d date minors so let’s say 18

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? - some ppl say i’d make a great teacher but i don’t complete agree

36. What’s your favorite music genre? - pop and alternative + electronic music (not edm but like cool electronic vibey music)

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? - uk, japan or like sweden i guess??

38. What is your current favorite song? - “painkiller” by before you exit

39. How long have you had this blog for? - 2015

40. What are you excited for? - graduation (i’m both excited and terrified tbh)

41. Are you a better talker or listener? - listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did? - i did stuff for my uni applications yesterday but i really need to complete them today though

43. What do you want for christmas? - it’s very long before christmas so i have no idea

44. What class do you get the best grades in? - i don’t really have classes anymore but i used to get the best grades in english, maths (how??) and history

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? - like 7? i’m not feeling my best bcs i got cramps and i’m stressed but honestly not that bad tbh

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years? - hopefully doing what i love, living somewhere nice, enjoying life

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? - like 2013-ish?

48. What age do you want to get married? - i have no idea :o

49. What career did you want to have as a child? - i wanted to be a librarian!!

50. What do you crave right now? - sleep, sweet things, ice cream perhaps?

i tag: @loverserendipity @softsweateredjimin @ballerida @bboymyg @jungkookisclearlythebestest and anyone who wants to do this but no pressure (this was honestly a handful :D)

[the-elegant-espeon]

I was tagged by @vanilla107

1. What takes up too much of your time?

social media (mostly here/twitter with discord and amino sprinkled in) reading and pokemon as well

2. What makes your day better?

talking to my friends, both on and offline ones!

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

today was pretty lazy but I caught a Detective Hat Pikachu in PoGo! (it appears when you take pictures of your caught Pokémon instead of Smeargle to promote the movie)

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

any show that I love tbh, so Duckburg/other places in the Duckverse Hogwarts/ harry potter’s world

also the pokemon world OBVIOUSLY 

5. Are you good at giving advice?

I try my best!

6. Do you have any mental illness?

I have ADHD

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

no that sounds terrifying 

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Lindana, Love Handel, and the Hex Girls

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

no! I think I crush on ppl easily, but I need to get to know them better before I “fall in love” that also would entail knowing some of them irl

10. What’s your dream date?

see a movie, go for a walk, and then hang out and talk

11. What do others notice about you?

My smile!

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

I pick at my lips and my fingernails a lot. mostly because I get fidgety and need to do something

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

never really had one so no? technically?

14. How many exes do you have?

zero

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

oof about 249 in my regular playlist, because some of the versions were taken off amazon music and I haven't replaced them yet

on my disney/kids music playlist I have 291 but only because I just dumped the Detective Pikachu soundtrack in there so I didn't forget. once I listen through it ill remove some that I don't like as much/instrumentals

16. What instruments can you play?

I can kinda play piano. took lessons for a few years and can still remember the basics

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

pets and screenshots of stuff

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Japan and England are the two that come to mind right now

19. What is your zodiac?

Cancer

20. Do you relate to it?

Yep!

21. What is happiness to you?

curled up on the couch reading a good book

22. Are you going through anything right now?

im in a group project with two ppl that are kinda difficult to work with. they just need a lot of direction, and I can't always be that person to direct them.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

leaving this one blank for now

24. What’s your favourite store?

the book loft is such a great place! its a local bookstore that just has rooms and rooms and rooms of books. like you think you've finally gone through all of the rooms and then more just appear. its one of those places that looks tiny on the outside but in reality is huge

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Her body her choice.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

nope

27. Do you have a favourite album?

been listening to Jack Johnson’s Curious George album lately. a few of the songs were already in my playlist but hearing all of them really brought back memories. honorable mentions to Daft Punk’s album Discovery, used in the movie Interstella5555 (such a great movie btw) and Michael Buble’s Caught in the Act (live) album, another one that brings back lots of memories.

28. What do you want for your birthday?

not much, probably some books and Pokemon stuff

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

anywhere from lots of energy to a little shy

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

people have thought I was like 20 (this was a few years ago and granted I was dressed up)

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

next to me on my bed so I can hear my alarm

32. What word do you say the most?

Fork! (or around people my age Fuck!)

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

19/20

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

because im about to turn 18, the youngest i’d date is 17 1/2

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

gonna think about this one too

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

a few pop songs here and there, and a bunch of other random stuff. also musicals

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

id love to live somewhere with ancient buildings tbh

38. What is your current favorite song?

All Will be Well by the Gabe Dixon band. its an older song but it’s in one of my favorite episodes of Parks and Rec, End of the World. my favorite song released in the last few years is Simple as This by Jake Bugg

39. How long have you had this blog for?

two years!

40. What are you excited for?

hanging out with some of my best friends next week!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

I can talk a lot about some things, but I love to listen too

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

I started making a map round to look like the earth, tomorrow im going to make it spin in Premiere

43. What do you want for christmas?

I celebrate Hanukkah, but I’ll probably want something for my Switch

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

right now im only in one class, but I have a good grade in it! I generally enjoy Language Arts/English classes and Arts classes!

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

7, im a little tired from doing nothing all day lol

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

have a job that I love and a wife/gf as nerdy as I am!

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

when my ex-best friend’s family started getting all weird when my parents split up. to make matters worse I occasionally run into her at the theater sometimes. then there was that one time, years later, when we went to the same pool, hing out there for a while, and then she was like, “sorry im have my bday party here and im only allowed to invite 6 ppl and you're not one of them”

(shoutout to her dad for being pretty cool tho)

48. What age do you want to get married?

mid-late 20′s but if it happens later that’s ok. this is just the earliest I'd like to be

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

an astronaut 

50. What do you crave right now?

im always craving ChipotIe tbh

tagging @pit0hui @metachiral and @thefangirlmonarchy 

(don't feel like you have to do this)

[eldritchsurveys]

o61.

1: If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have? >> Logan is a unisex name, so I’m all right either way. (But also, since I have no gender, technically all names are open season...~)

2: If you could witness any historical event in person, which one would it be and why? >> I’m good. I’m witnessing history in person right now and I’m really over it.

3: What kind of sandwich best describes your personality? >> One with a lot of hidden ingredients, I guess.

4: If your crush or significant other were to turn in to a ferret, what would you do? Would you still like/love them? >> That’d be extremely inconvenient, to say the least. How will Sparrow work? How will Hallie use a computer? How will Can Calah... well, actually, in Can Calah’s case, he can just change back.

5: If you became dictator of your country, and you can enact one law that could not be repealed once you are forcibly removed from office, what would that law be? >> I have literally no desire to be a dictator.

6: What is your opinion of Canada? >> The episode of Parts Unknown where Tony went to Montréal was cool.

7: What is your spirit animal? >> According to Pottermore, my Patronus is a hyena, which makes a funny kind of sense. But regardless, I am a spider, so.

8: If you could change your skin color to anything outside of the natural palette of skin colors, what color would you choose? >> I like my own skin colour enough that I can’t even think of another that I’d like better. :V

9: What was the last movie you chose not to watch? >> I don’t know, I usually just don’t watch movies because I’m doing something else, or because there are so many things to watch that I get indecision paralysis and end up not watching anything at all.

10: If you were a farmer, what would you grow? >> I don’t know. I have a very low confidence in my ability to keep things alive.

11: What do you miss the most? >> New Orleans.

12: What is your favorite sequel film? >> I’m not sure.

13: Rural area, small town, suburb, or big city? >> Really, I like big cities and rural areas best. The in-between areas aren’t interesting to me, although they’re a lot more convenient to live in.

14: What’s your favorite branch of the military? >> Ew.

15: What year of school was best for you? >> The last one. Because it was the last one.

16: What is your favorite month, excluding whichever month contains your birthday? >> December.

17: What is your favorite type of pie? >> Sweet potato. Or bean pie, I love bean pie but I can’t get it anywhere around here (that I know of...).

18: Do you enjoy being single? >> I haven’t been single a day in my life #plurality ...BUT in the human-relationships sense, no, I don’t recall enjoying being single very much.

19: Do you prefer rivers, lakes, or oceans? >> Oceans. But all water is good water.

20: If you had to have one feature on your body changed to a canine version of said feature, what would you choose? >> Canine... canines? Heh. Big teef.

21: What is your favorite font? >> I like Lobster’s construction even though I don’t care much for the style of the font. It’s a very well-made one.

22: What is the highest number of cats you can imagine yourself owning? >> Me, personally? One at most. And it’d have to be a special kitty.

23: What was your last date like? >> I forget where our last date was. To the movies, maybe.

24: Who are you? >> WHO AM IIII, PETEY PAB MOTHAFUCKA-- sorry, a rap song popped into my head.

25: What is your least favorite illicit substance? >> Crack cocaine.

26: What is your opinion on 80’s music? >> I like some, I don’t like some, same as any other genre.

27: If you could add something to the high school curriculum, what would you add? >> I don’t care.

28: What is your favorite album artwork? >> I can’t even think of one off the top of my head, dammit.

29: What is your favorite non-social networking website? >> Maybe Wikipedia.

30: What is your favorite boy band? >> Savage Garden was, when boy bands were a thing.

31: What is your least favorite casual dining establishment? >> I don’t know.

32: You are allowed one beverage and one candy for the rest of your life. What would you choose? >> ---

33: If you had to be stranded somewhere on Earth, miles from civilization, what biome would you choose and why? >> I don’t know.

34: What is your preferred projectile? >> Hmm.

35: You have inherited a nightclub in a major city. What modifications would you make to it? >> If I can’t actually have it in an abandoned church, then I’ll make it look like one as much as possible, and call it the Church of Ill Repute.

36: What have you done recently to dismantle the patriarchy? >> That’s not my ka.

37: What song did you most recently get tired of due to its overplaying? >> A few songs on Sparrow’s iPod because they always play when I’m in the car, lmao. But it’s not a big deal.

38: What is your favorite piece of clothing? >> ---

39: What was the most awkward moment of your romantic history? >> I really don’t know.

40: What brought you to Tumblr? >> A friend at the time told me about it.

41: What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced? >> Internet access is the first thing to pop into my head, so.

42: Why did you send the last anonymous Tumblr message you sent? >> I was probably being silly to someone. I don’t usually use anon.

43: Who is your favorite one-hit wonder of the last twenty years? >> Oof, I have no idea.

44: How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart? >> I only know my dad’s birthday in my family, anyway. And I know Sparrow’s and Hallie’s. And Sigma’s, but that’s irrelevant now.

45: What is your favorite speech? >> The... High Speech? I don’t know how to answer this lol

46: What is your least favorite song from your favorite musical? >> Hmm... maybe Seventeen? I mean, I like it, I just don’t listen to it as much as the others. (Repo! the Genetic Opera)

47: How do you feel about dating exes? >> Cool, go for it.

48: What is your favorite vegetable? >> I’m not sure. Baby spinach? Yeah, maybe that.

49: Who is your favorite fictional villain? >> All of them /snort

50: What is your favorite police procedure? >> The one where they leave me alone and don’t shoot me.

[langernameohnebedeutung]

I was tagged by @twissyy

Rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

(feel free to answer, any of you, I’m curious)

What Was Your Last…

1. Drink: Green Tea 2. Phone Call: My Grandma (re: yes I can walk the dog) 3. Text Message: My Mom (Re: yes Grandma told me you can’t walk the dog) 4. Song You Listened To: I’m listening to this Electro Swing compiliation at the moment but I’m not sure  what each song is called 5. Time You Cried: I don’t remember? I don’t cry much, even when I’m really sad.

Have You Ever…

6. Dated Someone Twice: No but almost 7. Kissed Someone And Regretted It: Yes 8. Been Cheated On: No 9. Lost Someone Special: Yes 10. Been Depressed: I suspect that I was depressed for some time during my time in high school, but I’ve never seen a therapist so I wouldn’t know. 11. Gotten Drunk And Thrown Up: Usually I only throw up the morning after.

Fave Colours

12. Magenta 13. Black (in the: I think it’s stylish way. Not in the edgy goth/emo way. Although Sometimes that too) 14. Red

In The Last Year Have You…

15. Made New Friends: Yes 16. Fallen Out Of Love: No 17. Laughed Until You Cried: Probably (I notice I’m not good at keeping track of my crying in any shape or form) 18. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: Yes. Not in a bad way, just matter-of-factly from what I heard. I was just surprised because I didn’t think I was that interesting. 19. Met Someone Who Changed You: No                                             20. Found Out Who Your Friends Are: In a way 21. Kissed Someone On Your Facebook Friends List: No

General

22. How Many Of Your Facebook Friends Do You Know IRL: Considering I still got most of my high-school acquiantances, I’d say over a hundred but I haven’t been in contact with most of them in years and usually I delete them when they post something dumb and/or annoying 23. Do You Have Any Pets: Yes 24. Do You Want To Change Your Name: I want to add an ´ on one on the letters because my name is pronounced the French way but spelt without the accent it needs so I only ever hear it pronounced the German way and I don’t like it. I’ve started adding it everywhere and they already starting to change it in official lists so I hope I can sneak it into my papers by the time my passport expires. I know it sounds petty. It is. (But it’s also fucking grating)  25. What Did You Do For Your Last Birthday: I went to a restaurant with my grandparents and my Mum and after that I hang out with friends. 26. What Time Did You Wake Up Today: Sometime around noon. 27. What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: According to my food diary, cooking gyros with rice 28. What Is Something You Can’t Wait For: Summer 30. What Are You Listening To Right Now: Probably the next, maybe the same song of the Electro Swing compiliation that probably also got a name. 31. Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: Yes 32. Something That’s Getting On Your Nerves: Loud chewing, people repeating instructions that I’ve already heard and understood and maybe also executed. 33. Most Visited Website: Tumblr, probably. I don’t think google docs can be considered a “website”. Also likely that of my university lately, because we had to sign up for our courses. 34. Hair Colour: Blond 35. Long Or Short Hair: Down to my shoulder-blades at the moment I’d say? 36. Do You Have A Crush On Someone: No 37. What Do You Like About Yourself: The room for improvement. Also I’m tall. 38. Want Any Piercings: I want to get some in the shell of my ear.  39. Blood Type: Red 40. Nicknames: Various short versions of my name I guess. 41. Relationship Status: Single 42. Sign: Leo 43. Pronouns: She/Her 44. Fave TV Show: So many different ones? There are all time favourites like Doctor Who or Star Trek that always make me happy. The ones that consumes most of my headspace right now I guess is Lucifer 45. Tattoos: I’ve got Plans 46. Right Or Left Handed: Born Left-handed but raised to be right-handed. One of my goals is to train my left hand again. I want to write like Leonardo Da Vinci. 47: Ever Had Surgery: Yes, but it was very one-sided. 48. Piercings: Just my earlobes - I did those three times by now though, because it heals every time. 49. Sport: Sometimes I go jogging or work out or go swimming or cycling, but nothing real or competetive or gasp - in a team. 50. Vacation: Yes please. 51. Trainers: Heels.

More General

52. Eating: I’ve been melting an M&M in my mouth since I started doing this thing. Which isn’t that long because I’m not answering chronologically. My tongue is likely blue right now. 53. Drinking: Nothing but there’s an empty tea mug in front of me and it’s going to be filled again later. 54. I’m About To Watch: Well, the new episode of Gotham will be out today so that’s on the menu for sure. 55. Waiting For: The next episode of Gotham. Also for an M&M to melt. 56. Want: A space-ship, please. Also space-ship flying lessons. 57. Get Married: Not sure. But if I do, I’m going to wear red and it wil be in a castle. 58. Career: Teacher, likely, writer in my dreams

Which Is Better

59. Hugs Or Kisses: Depends on the kisser. And the hugger. But really, since there’s more people you can hug at any given time but usually only one you can kiss, the hug-economy is far more accessible to the touch-starved poletariat. Down with the kissing-bourgeoisie. The only right and true answer though is someone nuzzling my neck. 60. Lips Or Eyes: Eyes are definitely more useful. 61. Shorter Or Taller: For myself? Taller. Other people should be shorter - to make me look taller. 62. Older Or Younger: Like most people, I get older. 63. Nice Arms Or Stomach: My arms are useful for reaching things and lifting things and driving cars and petting dogs. My stomach mostly gets me in trouble. So arms win. 64. Hookup Or Relationships: Relationships 65. Troublemaker Or Hesitant: Hesitant Troublemaker

Have You Ever

66. Kissed A Stranger: Yes 67. Drank Hard Liquor: Yes 68. Turned Someone Down: Yes 69. Sex On First Date: No 70: Broken Someone’s Heart: He deserved it. 71. Had Your Heart Broken: Nah. 72. Been Arrested: Nope 73. Cried When Someone Died: Yes 74. Fallen For A Friend: Nö.

Do You Believe In

75. Yourself: I most certainly exist. 76. Miracles: No 77. Love At First Sight: No 78. Santa Claus: No 79. Angels: No Angels.

Misc

80. Eye Colour: Blue 81. Best Friend’s Name: I’m not really a 1 Single Best Friend Person. 82. Favourite Movie: Sooo many.Lately I’ve become a bit introspective about why Guardians Of The Galaxy 2 became one of my favourite comfort movies despite being a Marvel flick about space racoons and a talking baby tree (and despite people usually preferring the first one) and I guess it’s its sincere heart-felt message about telling your Dad to fuck off.  83. Favourite Actor: I’m really not good at nailing things down to a single person it seems. Michelle Gomez at least in terms of intensity?

84. Favourite Cartoon: Avatar The Last Airbender and Kim Possible probably have the biggest place in my heart. 85. Favourite Teacher’s Name: Josie. I’m my own favourite teacher.

[littledonkeyburrito]

Some lint

1. Have you ever punched someone and broke their nose? Haven’t broken their nose but I’ve certainly hit a few in the face bc karate

2. What is the longest time you have gone without sleep? Forty-something hours without even a nap

3. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Several places

4. You see an ant on the ground, do you squish it? If it’s in my house, yes.

5. Have you ever baked a pie? I don’t think so.

6. What is your favorite social networking site? Instagram probably

7. Has anyone in your family fought in any of the wars? Dad’s dad was in WW2. Dad fought in Belfast in the 70s I think

8. Would you make any changes to your current bedroom? Yeah, I would like $100,000 to magically appear under my mattress.

9. Has a stray dog ever tried to bite you? Playfully. I stop playing with strays when they get boisterous bc rabies

10. When riding a bus, do you prefer to sit up front, down back or the middle? Middle-back generally

11. Have you ever been on a cross-country train ride? Yes, in a few places. I freaking love sleeper trains, I think they’re so fun with a group. On one of the sleeper trains I went on in China we accidentally taught the guy with the food/drink trolley the english word for beer because we bought more every time he went past.

12. Is there currently any caffeine in your system? No

13. Look around, are things organized? Yes, I keep my apartment very tidy.

14. Is there any TV show that ended that you wish hadn’t? Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23

15. Know what you’re planning to do after this? Attempt to kill time for a couple of hours until I can go to bed

16. How often do you update your Facebook status? I don’t really do statuses, just post photos from my instagram.

17. Do you even wear any jeans other than skinny anymore? All my jeans are of varying levels of skininess. From slim-fit to practically painted on.

18. Are you sensitive to caffeine? Yes. I would have a rum and coke right now but 1) I don’t have any coke, and 2) if I drank any it would take me a long time to get to sleep.

19. How do you usually get around? Walking or metro

20. Which languages do you wish you could speak fluently in? It would be nice to be fluent in spanish but if it happened magically overnight it wouldn’t be fun because I like the challenge. It would be cool to magically become fluent in arabic and/or mandarin.

21. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No

22. Can you speak any French? No.

23. Have you ever stayed in a hotel? Dozens. I travel a lot.

24. What is in your pocket? Some lint.

25. Is there a secret you’ve never told your parents? There are certainly some details of my life that I have omitted. Such as some experiences with sex, drugs and alcohol.  

26. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? People from that office I briefly worked at. Or probably more recently just random people on the street.

27. Have you ever lived with a friend? Yeah, a few.

28. What are a few of your favorite tv shows? iZombie, Brooklyn 99, Jane The Virgin, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Club De Cuervos, Parks and Rec 29. What kind of socks do you like to wear? Brightly coloured ones with wild patterns 30. Do you have your own house key, and how often do you actually use it? Whenever I need to get into my apartment. (This question must have been written by a teenager)

31. How often do you eat chocolate? Not actually that often. I don’t have as much of a sweet tooth as I did when I was younger. 32. How often do you wash dishes at your house? Every 1-3 days depending on how lazy I am.

33. How much sleep did you get last night? ~7 hours 34. When was the last time you went to a cemetery and why were you there? Last year on halloween myself and a few other drunk people from the party I was at decided to go wander around the nearby cemetery. 35. What were you doing when you heard about the attack on the twin towers? I don’t remember specifically hearing about it. I was only 7 so I wouldn’t really have cared anyway. Mostly what I remember is that they took cartoons off tv to play non-stop news for at least a week. 36. Doesn’t John Mayer suck? I have no opinions on him. 37. When was the last time you saw the sun rise? When I was in Colombia. One night in Cartagena I stayed up with a swedish and a colombian guy chatting in spanish while we watched the sun rise over the river. Then the cops came over and told us to leave.

38. What was the last picture you took? It was of my DS because I started playing pokemon in spanish and I was sending the picture to a couple of friends to say that the pokemon names are still the same in this language.

39. Are there many traffic incidents in your area? I don’t drive anymore so I don’t pay attention. 40. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Probably at some point during travels. I’ve done a lot of weird shit 41. Are you currently downloading anything? No. 42. Does your father have any facial hair? No

43. Have you ever played golf? My mum attempted to get me into golf when I was a kid (maybe young teen?) and I absolutely hated it. It was the most infuriating game I’ve ever played.

44. What was the last tv show you watched an episode of? The Defenders 45. Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favorite brand? Beer is fine. I’m pretty used to Moritz and Estrella Damm because they are common local brands. The fucking worst beer is Balboa in Panama. God it was so awful. Also not a fan of San Miguel which is common across all of spain. 46. Do you feel bad when you throw food out? Yes 47. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? I’ve never waxed. I just shave. 48. What’s your favorite fast food place? I don’t have one. I don’t really eat takeout here. 49. When was the last time you went out for a meal? A few weeks ago. 50. Have you ever been in a car accident? A few minor ones but not while I’ve been driving. 51. What colour shirt are you wearing right now? Navy blue

52. Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach? Y’know I actually don’t think I have... I should get on that.

53. Are you skilled when it comes to working in the kitchen? I don’t burn anything. That’s a skill, right?

54. When was the last time you went to a campground? That would have been back in April, camping in the Sahara Desert.

55. Do you listen to music while driving? Yes, and I sing along Very Loudly.

56. When was the last time you hung out with people younger than you? I have absolutely no idea. 

57. What is the closest blue object to you? Box of tissues on the coffee table.

58. How much did you spend on your last shopping trip? Probably about 25 euros at the grocery store

59. Have you ever gone over your cell phone plan by accident? I used to go over my data limit pretty regularly at my old job.

60. Can you honestly say you’ve been drunk before? Very, and many times. (this question must have been written by a teen)

61. Where did you get your last bruise from? Probably that mystery bruise I got in my armpit in central america. I’m pretty sure I got roofied that night so I don’t remember anything at all but I am still sooooo curious how I got that bruise. Nobody I was with knew how it happened either but then again they were all pretty trashed anyway so even if they saw they might not remember.

62. Are you a person that likes to take chances? Depends. Sometimes I take calculated risks.

63. Would you consider your life to be great right now? Right now it’s pretty mediocre but a month ago it was freaking awesome.

64. Do you remember the dream you had last night? Not exactly but I think it involved me getting tattoos on my arm

65. Do you get emotional easily? I don’t really have emotions tbh

66. Do you get obnoxious when you’re drunk? Nah, I get fun when I’m drunk

67. Who was the first person to ever give you flowers? I’m not sure anybody has ever given me flowers.

68. What was the last thing you heated up in your microwave? Chicken and veggies to go with my baked potato the other day

69. Were you born somewhere other than a hospital? No.

70. What was the last flavor of ice cream you had? Mango. It was homemade by a woman in Comuna 13 in Colombia 71. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? Beer or rum and coke 72. Is there a trash can near you? Yeah

73. When and where was the last time you took a picture of yourself? I think I took a selfie in my kitchen a few days ago 74. When was the last time you stayed up throughout the entire night? Cartagena, Colombia. ~8 weeks ago. But I stayed up until 2 or 3am a few times after that.

75. Have you ever considered a foreign-exchange program? No, I just fucked off overseas on my own accord.

76. Are sex and sexual activities something you enjoy? Yep 77. What’s an interesting fact about the state in which you were born? I know literally nothing about the region I was born in.

78. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? Well I definitely didn’t expect to learn spanish 79. Is there a subject about which you know a great deal? Probably, but nothing immediately comes to mind 80. What was the last thing that you put off doing? I should probably vacuum and mop my apartment 81. What did you do instead of that activity? Anything else.

Before and after: 3 years ago, today

82. What size is the last bed you kissed on?  - Double.  - A single bed in a twin room in a hotel. Tbh I probably could have swapped to a double room but at that point I didn’t realise he’d be staying with me

83. When was the last time you were sick? - I got the flu pretty bad in 2013. Probably should have gone to hospital but instead I only took 2 days off work. - I had a mild cold when I got home from my last trip. 84. Do you have any summer plans yet? - I ditched summer in favour of going skiing in Japan - Summer just ended. I don’t know whether my next summer will be here next June/July, or back in Aus in January. Will depend on whether I find a job 85. When was the last time you shaved your legs? - Probably within 2 weeks - Earlier today 86. Is there someone you wish you were closer with? - I think I had just started developing a crush on a guy that I later dated briefly and then he cheated on me, lied about it and broke up with me by facebook message while I was on holiday overseas. So, not the best idea really. - I’m all g. 87. Do you tend to waste a lot of money? - I made 1 or 2 poor decisions with money but I was earning enough to cover my ass. - It’s not a waste when it’s something I actively want to spend the money on. 88. What did you last drink? - Probably pepsi - Orange juice 89. Have you ever received an injury from a hook up? - Uhhh no? - Not unless that’s how I got that mystery bruise in my armpit. 90. Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? - Yes - Yes, the same ones 91. When was the last time you had a crowd at your house? - Probably around this time 3 years ago was my housewarming - I have never had more than 2 people visit this apartment at a time. Last time I had a crowd would have been my moving out party (from the place I just moved into 3 years ago) which was a bit over a year ago.

92. How many cell phones have you had? - 5 - 7, if you include the work phone I had 93. Where do you get all your clothes? - JayJays - H&M, C&A, Mango etc 94. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? - Nah - Nah 95. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? - No. - I got one just under 3 years ago 96. Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? - Alone - Depends. Sometimes I wouldn’t mind having someone here 97. Do you think age matters in relationships? - To an extent - Not really 98. Have you ever lived with a girlfriend/boyfriend? - No. - No 99. When will your next kiss be? - Probably the next party I went to. I made out with a lot of people that year - No idea 100. Add up all the digits of your cell phone number. What do you get? - 40 - 50 101. When you lost your virginity, do you honestly feel like you were ready? - I didn’t regret it but I probably wasn’t emotionally ready for it. - Same as above I guess. You only lose it once.

102. Was the person you lost your virginity to younger or older than you? - Older. - ^^

103. Were you sexually experienced whatsoever when you lost your virginity? - Not at all - ^^

104. Have you had sex with more than one person? - Yes - Yes by a larger amount

105. Have you ever had sex with the lights on? - Yes. - Yes

106. Have you ever had sex on a floor? - No - Yes

107. When is the last time you had sex? - Probably like at least 6 months before - About a month ago (can’t believe my trip ended so long ago)

108. Do you care for that person? - Eh - I guess

109. Is this your boyfriend or girlfriend? - No - No

110. The first time you got drunk, how old were you? - 16 - ^^

111. Where were you located the first time you got drunk? - The afterparty of my highschool formal. It was in the backyard of a girl in my grade - ^^

[fyeahwynonnaearp]

Wynonna Earp Questions I Want Most Answered (UPDATED)

I shall keep a running list of questions throughout the season and I have a feeling it will get extensive. There’s a good chance that there’s gonna be spoilers so everything will be under the cut.

As usual, if you got answers/opinions, leave a message or let’s discuss over at https://discord.gg/yaAdGGT

UPDATED: 02 August 2017, 17:23 EST

From S1

1. Gooverly: Evil or Nah? I’m still NOT completely sure, but The Goo™ wants to have fun (S02E04). Evil, pretty sure. Because how can it be so freakin’ mean to Nicole?!? (S02E05). 2. Is Waverly really an Earp (or will she be a Haught instead **wink**wink**)? 3. Does Waverly tell anyone about her being “not an Earp”? Yes. Nicole :) (S02E02). She sent DNA sample but no confirmation seen yet (S2E08).  4. Where did Peacemaker send Willa? 5. Juan Carlo, what art thou? Who art thou? STILL don’t know but he helped bring Dolls to the Earp Homestead (S02E04). He also has been helping/guiding The Order™ (S02E05). A priest in Purgatory who helped capture the Widows the first time and one of the seal keepers (S2E08). 6. Dolls, what art thou? Some type of human/demon hybrid created by Black Badge (S02E01). He can breathe FIRE!!! (S02E04). Is he a dragon? 7. Who and WHERE is Mama Earp? According to Waverly’s old scrapbooking gone wild board at her old Shorty’s apartment, Mama Earp’s name was Wendy Rosie (Thanks, @cm0999). But where did she run off to?!? 8. So, Constance the Stone Witch is just chilling in the salt flats? She’s coming back isn’t she? NOPE. That little Tucker found the Stone Witch and beheaded her (S2E06). 9. So...the whole “Keeper of the Bones” thing is done right? Because Waverly done destroyed the skull and Constance’s sons are dead-dead? 10. Who did Waverly shoot at? The new creature, Hala, a Bulgarian devourer of souls (S02E01). 11. What will happen to all the revenants now that Bobo is gone? Not at trailer park anymore. They’re all scattered. (S02E02).

Start of S2

12. Will Doc get a new hat? Yes. He stole one :) (S02E04). 13. Wynonna, how are you really feeling? Well, crappy enough that The Goo™ was able to possess her pretty easily (s02E04). 14. Dolls. Are you gonna be okay? Well, he’s breathing out fire. So, yes? (S02E04). 15. So...are Chrissy and Waverly still friends? (Kinda want a Waverly-can’t-help-but-gush-about-her-girlfriend-to-her-friend-who-is-clearly-over-and-tired-of-this-coversation scene) 16. Gus, where art thou? 17. What is up with Black Badge? Are they still doing human experiments? They’re not the totally good guys anymore...are they? So Black Badge Division, Ghost River Triangle branch is no more. According to Moody, it wasn’t even a government agency in the first place (S2E06). 18. Lucado is definitely getting demoted, right? Yup. She’s stuck at Purgatory until they collect every last supernatural entity that entered the Triangle. (S02E02). 19. What does Nicole think about her girlfriend’s new voice? Did she hear Waverly say “At least, not today”? She didn’t know Waverly was possessed, but will shoot anybody for her. Should I find that sweet and adorable? (S02E05). 20. Does Jeremy question how Waverly scared the “devour of souls”? NOPE. As of S2E06, it never came up. Doubt it ever will since Mictian/Mikshun is gone. 21. What did Dolls tell Doc? To create his serum? Not, entirely clear on that, but I think it is (S02E03/4). 22. Does the BBD blood oath/contract come into play later? TBD as of S2E06. 23. When does Nicole get a new uniform and why? (based on S2 pictures) Because she hates khakis and Nedley wants her to be sheriff when he retires. (S2E03). It’s gonna happen on Episode 5, based on promo pictures. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 24. When does Wynonna find out about Gooverly? S02E04. OH S H I T. 25. Why does Waverly take the bell from the police station? Gooverly is hoarding shiny things. (S2E03). 26. Dementors in Purgatory? Or Willa is somehow back (again)? The two Women in Black were the ones that escaped from BBD when it blew up; Lady Gaga hand. (S2E03). 27. Hellmouth?! Well, some asshole broke through the asshole-of-a-seal (S02E04). Well, there are three seals and two are broken by the Widows/Ladies in Black (S2E06). Keeping Sheriff Clootie locked away (S2E08). 28. Does Doc know where Dolls is? Making preparations to create his meds (w/ Rosita)? No. Doc didn’t know where Dolls was but is working on making his serum. (S2E03). 29. *whispers* Could Nicole be supernatural as well? Because I have theories that I will not get into and I still don’t know how I feel about the possibility of non-human Haught. 30. “I like you”?!? Waverly, what happened to “I love her?”? Everyone is just casually saying that they love each other but WayHaught hasn’t said it to each other (S02E05). 31. Shouldn’t Wynonna know whether or not Waverly is biologically related to her? Because she’s six years older and would remember if Mommy was preggers. Or does she call Waverly “baby girl” because when baby!Waverly came to live with them she didn’t have a name yet and Wynonna being the Earp girl who didn’t hate the new child took care of the baby and (due to lack of name) just called her “baby girl”. Remembers when they brought Waverly home from the hospital (S2E08).  32. When did Doc have time to meet people (i.e. Rosita)? Wasn’t he stuck in a well for like...forever? 33. So...any more future private shows for Officer Haught? I need to know, for science. And, role playing? 34. What came first: the trophy or the Marzaniok? Or did Wynonna just assume that it came from the trophy because Perry never said that it did, just that it came out of the trophy case and that they were pretty high when it happened. 35. Why or what does Rosita need protection from? 36. Why do they need ‘pure’ demon blood to make Dolls’ serum? Apparently, Doc’s blood doesn’t work? 37. What was Lucado’s ‘personal matter’? I’m guessing it’s trying to get back to BBD HQ’s good graces (S02E04). 38. How many times have Waverly ‘gone on patrol’ with Nicole? Just, for science, again.  39. What’s with the random snacks Gooverly?!? IDK but based on a promo, Goononna is worse. We’ll probably never know... (S02E05). 40. Why did Mama and Papa Gardner leave most of their fortune to the town? Yes, they’re rich. But, is that all why the Gardners are a big deal in Purgatory? 41. Because Waverly doesn’t remember when she’s being Gooverly, does Gooverly implant memories when taking over? Because I think Waverly would be concerned if she’s blacking out. Finally acknowledged that she’s missing time (S02E04). 42. “Not in uniform, okay? Not in public.” Will we see more sexy times in uniform in Officer Haught in private? 43. “Not good enough.” Does that mean Waverly just wants to jump Nicole every time she’s in uniform or does Gooverly have a crush on Nicole? Because Gooverly does kinda come in defense of Nicole when Tucker was being his creepy, homophobic self. Fandom things The Goo™ was trying to possess Nicole, but didn’t work. Though, I strongly believe (and it’s my headcanon) that The Goo™ has a crush on Nicole (S02E04). 44. And what is up with Tucker Gardner, Town Pervert? Tucker “wants a girl”. It could either be Waverly or Nicole. I think he wants Nicole because he’s starting to be fixated on her. Thin line between hate and obsession? (S02E04). Why did Nedley compile a confidential file on him? Because Tucker has always been protected by his parents/money and has past criminal behavior (S02E04). 45. Will Wynonna and Nicole be bros again? Wynonna apologized to Nicole (S02E04). They both acknowledge Waverly is being weird but Nicole might think it’s the whole “not being an Earp” because she immediately tells Wynonna she won’t betray Waverly’s trust. But I’m gonna need some bro scenes in the future. 46. Where did Waverly disappear to when the gang went to contain the Marzaniok? Next we see her is in Shorty’s and then at the barn. Even Nicole pointed out, “I thought she was with you”. Must be important if it was mentioned. 47. How did Tucker know where Waverly would be when he cornered her? 48. Was Tucker’s bracelet that Gooverly take important/significant? Probably not important, but the metal was for a DIY lightning rod (S2E05). PS: It looked like a medical bracelet. 49. Will there be no consequence with Wynonna’s wish because it was the demon that made the deal with her and not the other way around? 50. Why did Nedley try so hard to specifically recruit Nicole to work in Purgatory? I double that it was just because she was “top of her class”. 51. “Non-werewolf” citizens? 52. Nedley said “they could use your instincts” to Nicole. So, does Haught-stuff have really good instincts (maybe almost supernatural levels)? She does heal rather quickly....(jfc, these non-human Nicole theories, I’m torn about it). 53. Nicole from the Big City? When will we have more Nicole-backstory? Ooh...Nicole-flashbacks? 54. Why were the Women in Black at the Gardner residence? (and RIP Mercedes?) They STOLE Beth and Mercedes’ faces!! (S02E04). They were attracted to Tucker’s darkness...his “prowess”. ew.  55. Gooverly doesn’t seem to hurt Dolls, based on Dolls being okay in the promo for episode 4? (See Question #1) Well, we don’t know what Gooverly was gonna do with that knife (S02E04). 56. Where’s Nicole’s hat?!? New uniform. New hat, apparently. She now wears a baseball cap (S2E06). Will the stetson make a return appearance though? 57. Why does Wynonna smell Mommy’s perfume around the Women in Black? 58. Doc’s horse, where art thou? (anon asks) 59. Dragon!Dolls?!? According to Wynonna: tiny, sexy dragon (S206). 60. Is Jeremy torn between Doc and Dolls? Will we get a flashback of Dolls helping Jeremy with that one chin-up? What is the connection between Jeremy’s mom and Dolls? 61. Will Tucker go after Nicole? Perhaps. But his obsession with Waverly reached new heights (S2E06).  62. Does Nicole have a gluten and lactose problem and that’s why Waverly is excited about being ��this close” to getting that vegetarian restaurant for her girl? Asking, for science. 63. Will anyone tell Nicole about Gooverly? Sorta? They don’t really go into the whole “BTW, Waverly has been possessed for the past few weeks”. I really hope Waverly talks to her about it in future episodes (S02E05). 64. Rosita/Doc, is that gonna be a thing? Confirmed sexual relations (S02E06) but not in a relationship. Lovers (S2E08). 65. Will anyone find Waverly’s hand in Ba-Ding Ba-Ding? Probably not? But now we know you can get The Goo™ by severing it’s host and melting it down (S02E05). 66. What is up with the Purgatory Fair commemorative plate? Is Edwin Earp gonna be relevant this season? Why is it so important? So, it’s important to The Order™ dudes and it had their sigil. This will probably play out in the future and may have connections to the asshole seal (S02E05). 67. GOONONNA?!? Well, that was scary and short-lived. But damn! Goononna is uber mean to Nicole. Can we stop being so mean to Nicole? #StopBeingMeanToNicole2k17 (S02E05). 68. (Based on promo pictures) When/Why/How does Gooverly come back? Plus, Andras had said in an interview, we will see more The Goo™/tentacle powers. Waverly being a self-sacrificial cinnamon roll (S02E05). 69. (Based on promo picture) Is Officer Haught protecting Gooverly in her new outfit?! Does she know?!? Protective!Girlfriend!Haught will still love you and shoot anyone for you (S02E05). 70. What is coming?! Are the Women in Black connected to it? BIG MAYBE. We know the Widows are after the seals and probably will unleash something (S2E06). Widows breaking seal to release their husband Clootie demon (S2E08). 71. Are real!Beth and real!Mercedes just faceless, but alive? Because at least one of the bodies were still wiggling. Safe to assume they’re dead (S2E07). 72. Where in the world did Officer Nicole Haught get a gluten-free, lactose-free pizza in almost-have-a-vegetarian-restaurant Purgatory?!? 73. What’s with The Goo™ hoarding all the metal? Does Nicole get her utensils back? The Goo™ made a lighting rod to fuse more permanently to Waverly. Like...that’s super-extra. Does The Goo™ know you can just order one online? (S02E05). 74. Why was Waverly hit with a tranq dart on her way to band? And bandnerd!Waverly?! Yes. What instrument did she play? 75. Pregnant Wynonna! This is NOT a drill! Who is the father? Everyone pretty much accepted that Doc Holliday is the biological father (S2E06). 76. Goocado. Where did the body go? OFFICIAL: Lucado is RIP (S2E06). 77. How will The Squad™ and The Order™ team up? Isn’t The Order™ just focused on The Goo™? 78. WHAT IS WAVERLY? The Goo™ teased that she had ‘dark corners’. Somewhat hinted she is part-demon/part-Revenant (S2E07) and the theory is believed by many Earpers. 79. How does Waverly feel about Nicole’s new outfit? She likes it. Very much so. (Based on Purgatory Case Files text) 80. How does Wynonna really feel about Nicole? ‘Queen Brisk of Bossy Town’ (S2E05). Hang out at strip club, Pussy Willows, and talked about effects of The Seven (S2E07). 81. Is Wynonna’s baby okay? Because, yes she’s been drinking and eating rats and has been possessed?!? It has a strong heartbeat and grew during sleeping spell despite the fact that it shouldn’t have done so (S2E06, S2E07). 82. The Plate™, The Women In Black, The Order™, The Asshole Seal™ are they all connected? How are they all connected? The Widows are after the three seals to break it (S2E06, S2E07). 83. WTF Happened to Black Badge? The place is now empty?!? They’re ghosting the Ghost River Triangle and apparently isn’t a government agency, never was (S2E06). 84. When will we see where Nicole lives? I hope it’s not a motel room. 85. And what about Nicole’s cat? 86. Is Wynonna’s pregnancy supernatural/paranormal-related? Is it human? It grew even though it wasn’t supposed to (S2E06). Possibility of baby being half-Revenant (S2E07). 87. The Ghost River Triangle is also called The Sanctuary, what is it actually protecting? 88. What are the (three) seals for? To keep Sheriff Clootie locked away (S2E08). 89. Is Doc now mortal since the Stone Witch is dead? He was shown coughing; he had tuberculosis and the curse ‘stopped’ it (S2E07). Juan Carlo also assumed to be dying from gangrene (S2E08). 90. Is Baby Donut/Earp affected by the curse that was placed on Doc by Constance? Doc might not be the biological father (S2E07). 91. Where is Tucker now? What is he planning? Tucker is MIA (S2E07). 92. Being Hypno’s daughter, is Poppy fully demon or a hybrid? Will she also have time manipulation powers? 93. Jeremy brings up an important point, who is paying The Squad now? Will Waverly need to work at Shorty’s again? 94. Would Doc continue having sex with Rosita? Yes. They’re “Lovers” (S2E08). 95. Will Jeremy and Nicole be gay BFFs? 96. Do the Widows and Constance Clootie share a husband? YES (S2E08). 97. Are the Widows witches? 98. Why does Widow!Mercedes hate Wyatt Earp? Was he the one who killed their husband? 99. The Widows and The Squad are both after Tucker, as a police offer, will Nicole have to protect him from the Widows? 100. With Doc being “I am all in”, how will the Wyndolliday dynamic change? Dolls and Doc are supporting Wynonna/helping her out. They kidnapped a doctor for her (S2E07). 101. Who are the Powers To Be™ in Black Badge Division? 102. Why does Moody say BBD was never a government agency? 103. Is the rumor of a Revenant/Human hybrid baby true? 104. Since Wynonna is moving on and not planning to do genetic testing (based on interview by Emily Andras), will we ever find out who the bio baby daddy is? 105. The Ghost/Phantom Marshals, do they exist to police humans turned supernatural based on treatment of Doc? 106. Are the Phantom Marshals under Black Badge or just regular law enforcement? 107. Is Rosita from Doc’s past? If so, she isn’t a mortal human. What is she? 108. Why did Nicole have to build a temporary shelter in a flood zone? What the hell was her life? 109. Waverly’s origin story? Wynonna remembers when she was brought home from the hospital (S2E08). 110. Based on S2E08 sneak peek, why does Wynonna have trouble remembering her childhood? Waverly may have thought it was Wynonna that pulled her out of the water, but it was really Bobo (S2E08). OR (if the vision quest does affect the timeline), it was Wynonna originally. IDK. Who knows. 111. Based on S2E08 sneak peek, Wynonna says they were going to name her ‘Welcome’ and Waverly said that Wynonna gave her her name. Willa’s diary also mentioned “why does she get the pretty name?”. Because Time Travel is apparently possible based on the sneak peek, did Wynonna give them the name before returning to proper timeline? Wynonna gave the name ‘Waverly’ to Bobo when he asked for his angel’s name (S2E08).  112. How was Dolls able to touch/punch Ghost Marshall Reeves considering he just said he can’t be touched by something in this earthly plane? 113. Did the vision quest change the current timeline? Specifically, will Bobo and Wynonna’s relationship be different now? 114. Will the Clootie demon need to be re-sealed? If so, will the keeper of the seals also have immortality as a side-effect? 115. Is there anything supernatural about the Purgatory Sheriff’s Department? 116. Who tasked The Order to protect the Triangle from demons? 117. How does Ewan know about BBD? 118. What makes Wynonna special/different from past Earp heirs? 119. How did the Widows end up with Black Badge? 120. Why is Bobo the only revenant back? 121. Wayhaught angst. It’s not a question. Jk. Would they finally have a serious talk about protecting each other? Also, Nicole backstory needed...so much. 122. Earp baby’s accelerated growth. Why?  123. Will Bobo’s obsession/relationship with Willa come up again? 124. While dying, Robert Svane says “...I’ve caught glimpses of you my entire life”. Hallucinating (because, you know, dying) or Wynonna goes on future vision quests? 125. Robert rang the bell in the past/vision quest. Why did it happen in the present?

[aroaessidhe]

50 bookish questions

@violaeade tagged me in this a million years ago

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

hahaha God i don’t know,,. Gonna say like, chaos walking or mortal engines but that's in part because I've loved them for so long and reread them a bunch. there are so many more recent books that I love too

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

.according to goodreads stats it’s A Dance With Dragons at 1125

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

I have no idea tbh, I haven’t read that many old books. lord of the rings? - I checked goodreads and apparently the oldest book (on my goodreads anyway) is the hobbit so there we go

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

a whole heap of them tbh. but I don't really bother with popular books I don't like? If I don't like them I just. Don't think about them for the most part

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

idk??? to be honest I can’t really think of any. Maybe in other lands because I'm thinking about that a lot recently and it is the kind of format that would suit episodes, I feel?

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

uhhh gosh maybe The Wind City or Radio Silence

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

acotar

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

I mean there’s a billion books I want to read but haven’t yet, but that’s only because I haven’t had the time.

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

The Shattering, The Wind City, The Halfmen of O (kinda....it's mostly in another world but they start off near nelson which is where I & the author live so i wanna mention it)

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

Pantomime and Shadowplay by Laura Lam, because I bought the rereleased versions

11. What horror book made you really scared?

I don’t read many horror books?? I'm sure there's a few but I can't think of anything

12. What book do you passionately hate?

c*ptive pr*nce

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

the edge chronicles has what, 14? if you count all the shadowhunters books there’s about that many too..... I read a significant amount of the warriors books when I was a kid but I can’t remember how many

14. What book gives you happy memories?

Chameleon Moon/The Lifeline Signal are good and happy

15. What book made you cry?

What book didn’t make me cry is the question. Recently,  In Other Lands (I’m pretty sure I cried throughout 60% of it) and Eliza and Her Monsters

16. What book made you laugh?

man i’m gonna say In Other Lands again, when I’m not crying I’m laughing (or both)

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

like 90% off the books i read have lgbtqia characters

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

(i love how there’s this question but not female protagonist....as if male protagonists are less common or something.....?)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

Fourth World (and like many others lmao)

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

I only read the third Throne of Glass book because I assumed it was a trilogy and thought I might as well finish it but boy am i sure I stopped there

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

I don’t think pressured necessarily but ones that are super popular like throne of glass, game of thrones

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

probably a bunch

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

I always say like, Patrick Ness or Scott Westerfeld for these because they both have so many books I love? but there are so many authors I love who are not...white dudes, who I probably love more they just, only have a few books out so far

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

At my parent's house, two big ones and a small one, and at uni three small ones. (all of which are overflowing)

25. How many books do you own?

Maybe 400? At least as many ebooks.

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

I don’t read many

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

is the edge chrronicles middle grade?

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

uhhh I kinda don't have a specific order but one of these: when dimple met rishi, meg & linus, noteworthy, the library of fates, shadow run and ramona blue

29. What book are you currently reading?

the raising by steven dos santos! came out ages ago and I just...never got aound to finishing the trilogy oops

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

probably something from here

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

I get a lot of ebooks on amazon when they’re on sale for <5 (or free sometimes)

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

gosh idk. I try not to buy books more than $22 (which is pretty cheap for nz tbh) but I’ve gotten the occasional $35-40 one. not recently because I am a student and Cannot Afford That

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

Howl’s Moving Castle, though not immediately

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

Venturess I think? oh wait I preodered Warcross too... (I always preorder things and they usually come out of order so I forget)

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

Warcross, Not Your Villain and Mask of Shadows are a couple

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

probably a bunch, but I can’t think of anything specific

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

I don’t know any other languages so nope, unless you count translated versions (or comics with an english translation throughout the entire thing)

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

gentleman's guide to vice and virtue

39. What book offended you?

same answer as #12

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

ya know I'm sure I've read a bunch of weird books??? but nothing comes to mind

41. What is your favourite duology?

the scorpion rules, adaptation or the abyss surrounds us

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

gosh uh,,, micah grey

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

Tbh We Are Okay is the first thing that comes to mind, it’s so pretty.

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

a lot of indie books (though definitely not all!) do, and that’s understandable. tbh there are a lot of trad published books with Bad covers too. I'm a design student and I'm picky. (But I try not to judge them publicly)

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nah I'm not really one for poetry

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

a bit

48. What book made you angry?

the sequel to love in the time of global warming tbh....it;s Not Good

49. What book has inspired you?

the wicked lovely series and micah grey series are the two things I’ve done more fanart for than anything else so I’m gonna say those

50. What book got you into reading?

there are different levels here because I’ve always read a lot, but probably the more significant ones are like.. the edge chronicles, inkheart, maurice gee books when I was younger, and then around maybe 10-12ish I just?? wanted to read but didn’t like the look of any books I found. my mum bought me mortal engines and sabriel and forced me to read them and they’re still some of my favourite books ever so there we go

[otter-my-way]

WAS TAGGED BY: @bakusuki​, thanks lovely! 

TAGGING: oh man 20 people is a lot,  I’ll just throw this open to whoever wants to do it :) 

RULES: ANSWER THESE 85 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

THE LAST

1. DRINK: water 2. PHONE CALL:  Siocaela (a friend from skating, who left her puffer in my car) 3. TEXT MESSAGE: Millie (my best friend, who’s heading back to Sydney tonight) 4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: according to Spotify, Waking Up by One Republic, but it was actually probably something on the car radio that I can’t remember  5. TIME YOU CRIED:  doing the ironing on Friday, I know, I’m a Mess 6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: no 7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: yep. 8. BEEN CHEATED ON: nope 9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL:  yes 10. BEEN DEPRESSED:  no 11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: more often than I would like ahaaaaaaaaaa

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. cerulean 13. scarlet/garnet red 14.  I don’t know what the actual name of it is but Pantone C 291 (it’s like a stoney-blue colour)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: surprisingly yes! It’s actually been a good year for friends :)  16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: no, I don’t think so 17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yes, many many times, I think the last time was yesterday when my friend swam in the ocean for $10 (it’s winter here and very cold) 18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: I don’t think so? I can’t remember 19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: no 20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: yes, and I’m thankful for every one of them <3  21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: yes

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE:  does this include internet friends? If it does the yes 23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: no, but I really wish I did!  24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: nah, not really. 25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY: most of my friends were away this year so I think it was just a family celebration, though I did go to Sydney to visit my friend shortly after!  26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP: 8am? But I didn’t get out of bed until 9. 27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: sleeping 28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: the range of movement to come back in my arm so I can use it to check rotation again, also the bone to heal  properly so I can start throwing myself at the ice again.  29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: about 5 minutes ago 31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: bnha episode 33 32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: I’m sure I have, but I don’t recall anyone at the moment... 33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: my sister slurping the milk out of her cereal bowl, it sounds so gross 34. MOST VISITED WEBSITE: tumblr, beyondlaw, abc news (the australian one not the american one) 35. HAIR COLOUR: medium brown (according to my sister, we’re both terrible with colours) 36. LONG OR SHORT HAIR:  longish? It’s about pec length . 37. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: I don’t think so 38. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sometimes my eyes are nice? otherwise I’m pretty good at the law stuff and thinking outside of the box 39. PIERCINGS: just the ears 40. BLOOD TYPE: OH! I actually know this one now! I was in emergency the other day and asked the doctor in a drug induced haze. Apparently I’m A+  41. NICKNAME: G, Georgie, George, but I mostly get called G. F 42. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single. 43. ZODIAC: aries 44. PRONOUNS: she/her 45. FAVOURITE TV SHOW: ahh, this changes constantly, but I love cardcaptor sakura, the first season of westworld, teen wolf (but not as much as I used to), voltron, and bnha  46. TATTOOS: none 47. RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED: left 48. SURGERY: only once, and I was terrified of anesthetic  before I had it  50. SPORT: figure skating (if that counts as a sport), I also like watching gymnastics, synchronised skating, diving, and ski jumping  51. VACATION: oh man I have so many dream holidays planned out, I’d love to go to the Winter Olympics or Worlds next year, but also Japan, the US (and finally get to Florida for those sweet themeparks), and I’d really like to go back to Austria 52. PAIR OF TRAINERS: I’m so confused by this? I don’t really own exercise shoes because all the exercise I do is barefoot or in grip socks, but I have a pair of white tennis shoes ?

MORE GENERAL

53. EATING: oats with milk as a post dinner snack 54. DRINKING: more water (I’m boring like that) 55. I’M ABOUT TO:  open up premiere pro and maybe work on some gifs 56. WAITING FOR:  a few months time when I’ve got some solid savings and can start planning a good holiday 57. WANT:  I saw these clip on heeleys today that come with ‘real sparking action’, they’d be pretty fucking sweet to wear around the office.  58. GET MARRIED: ahhh I’m not sure actually, I used to think I’d like to, but  I  just feel real unsure about relationships at the moment 59. CAREER: lawyer (I got my practicing certificate about 2 months ago and I still doesn’t feel real to say I’ve finally gotten there). 60. HUGS OR KISSES: ahhh I don’t really like either from people I’m not close with, but for good friends hugs and kisses for partners  61. LIPS OR EYES:  eyes, but a nice smile will definitely win out 62. SHORTER OR TALLER:  taller probably, but it doesn’t matter too much 63. OLDER OR YOUNGER: would prefer older, but a year or two younger probably wouldn’t bother me if they were the right person 64. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: nice stomach 65. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship 66. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: a bit of both?

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. KISSED A STRANGER: yes 68. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: yes 69. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: all the fucking time, luckily I don’t need them too badly (mostly driving at night/watching movies) but it’s still really annoying. 70. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yeah, I really don’t like it, there’s no easy way. Kind of why I’m avoiding being involved with anyone :/  71. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: no 72. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: yes 73. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: also yes

74. BEEN ARRESTED: no. 75. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: yes. 76. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. YOURSELF: christ, I wish.  78. MIRACLES:  I’m not actually sure with this one, I think that people can be miraculously lucky, but I don’t know that I’d call it a miracle?  79. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: attraction, yes? But I think love takes a little longer to settle in (like love in 5 minutes maybe? haha) 80. SANTA CLAUS: nope

81. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: yes

82. ANGELS: I don’t think so 

OTHER:

84. EYE COLOUR: brown 85. FAVOURITE MOVIE: spider-man: homecoming I’ve fallen in love with recently, but  I also really like Legally Blonder and the Prestige (that movie gave me nightmares for days afterwards, but it was great that I was thinking about it for so long)

[luncheon-aspic]

Tagged by @spastikchildren - thanx, bro

THE LAST

1. Drink: coffee with a splash of Bailey’s

2. Phone call: to The One Other Butch Lesbian In Town, asking if she was in the downtown area (she wasn’t)

3. Text message: Wow! Thanks!

4. Song you listened to: Gila - Amuk

5. Time you cried: I think I saw some really funny meme a week or two back and laughed until I cried

HAVE YOU

6. Dated someone twice: As in dated, broke up, and then dated again? No. But I’d date my high school sweetheart again in an instant if she broke up with her husband.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Every single guy

8. Been cheated on: I’ve found out that I WAS the other woman multiple times.

9. Lost someone special: Yeah

10. Been depressed: Last serious episode was a few weeks ago. Glad to be on the other side of that -- it was a bad mixed state one.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Only a few times

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

1. Vermilion

2. Jewel purple

3. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Of course

16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think so?

17. Laughed until you cried: See question 5

18. Found out someone was talking about you: According to my mother, my father often hallucinates that I’m around and literally talks TO me

19. Met someone who changed you: Yeah

20. Found out who your friends are: They were all three goats in a trenchcoat! Dastardly creatures!

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Dude, I haven’t kissed anyone since 2014

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Half, probably

23. Do you have any pets: No. :((((((

24. Do you want to change your name: I used to, but not any more.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I was in the capital, so I went to the National Museum and then had margs with a friend and totally went to the mall.

26. What time did you wake up: 11-ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Probably blogging

28. Name something you can’t wait for: My trip back to visit my parents next month (haven’t seen them in two years)

30.What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: A cool $500 million would be nice.

31. What are you listening to right now: Nothing, actually

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Used to work for one, in fact

33. Something that is really getting on your nerves: Muscle aches, which are my own fault for not stretching out because I’m lazy.

34. Most visited website: Other than this blue hellsite, which I usually access on mobile? edX, probably, or Wikipedia.

35. Mole/s: Plenty

36. Mark/s: My skin’s pretty strange in general

37. Childhood dream: Become an archaeologist... And I did kind of end up in a related field.

38. Hair color: Brown

39. Long or short hair: The few, the brave, the long-haired butches

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Usually

41. What do you like about yourself: I’m not scared to take big risks

42. Piercings: None (I tried getting my ears pierced a couple years ago but it was too much of a hassle care-wise.)

43. Blood type: Red??

44. Nickname: None

45. Relationship status: In a stable and committed relationship with my bed

46. Zodiac: Libra sun and Aries moon

47. Pronouns: Please don’t talk about me I’m sensitive

48. Favorite TV show: Takhta 3 Ratu (as seen in my header)

49. Tattoos: Armband of local-style stylized floral patterns

50. Right or left hand: Left

51. Surgery: I have artificial lenses inside my eyes

52. Hair dyed in different color: Never

53. Sport: That sounds like exercise. :/

55. Vacation: Hot spring getaway in Japan

56. Pair of trainers: Too hot and muddy for those.

MORE GENERAL

57. Eating: Just finished a Taiwanese green onion pancake

58. Drinking: See question 1

59. I’m about to: Send yet another Risky Email, because I’m just throwing stuff against the professional wall and seeing what sticks

61. Waiting for: Getting off the plane back in the Bay Area next month

62. Want: Another green onion pancake (alas, it was the last one in the pack)

63. Get married: Same-sex marriage isn’t even a thing where I live, so unless I relocate to somewhere where it is, it would have to be either symbolic or not locally valid. I’m cool with the idea, though.

64. Career: Academic/literary translator and/or oral historian

65. Hugs or kisses: I’m actually not a very touchy-feely person.

66. Lips or eyes: It’s nice when people have both, but I’m not here to shame anyone.

67. Shorter or taller: Taller femmes with shorter butches = gggooOOood shit

68. Older or younger: Not too much of either

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: All arms and stomachs are nice

71. Sensitive or loud: Depends on the situation; I’ve been told by others that I’m very loud, though

72. Hook up or relationship: I just want a girl to look at me. :(((((

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I never hesitate to make trouble for myself.

HAVE YOU EVER

74. Kissed a stranger: Dude, I don’t even remember the names of half the people I’ve slept with.

75. Drank hard liquor: Uh, once or twice, once or twice...

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Never lost, but I used to accidentally sit on them all the time. The optometrists always teased me that I had 20/20 hindsight.

77. Turned someone down: Of course

78. Sex on the first date: Sure

79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes, and I’d really appreciate if he’d stop messaging me.

80. Had your heart broken: Never in a truly lasting way

81. Been arrested: Nope

82. Cried when someone died: The day after

83. Fallen for a friend: Sure

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84. Yourself: I’m still waiting for conclusive evidence of my own existence; so far, all we have are blurry photos and garbled video footage

85. Miracles: Who knows??

86. Love at first sight: Probably not, but I do know that there are people who you meet once and just click with so well that you become genuine BFFs... So who knows??

87. Santa Claus: #iwanttobelieve

88. Kiss on the first date: Heck, your place or mine?

89. Angels: Please no giant flaming wheels covered in eyes I startle easily

OTHER

90. Current best friend’s name: @laurierrose

91. Eye color: Green

92. Favorite movie: Rent-a-Neko (A must for cat lovers! I watched it first while on a trans-Pacific flight and I cried so hard that the flight attendants came over to make sure I was okay.)

Whew! I tag @detectivemindhorn , @just-the-tipton , @scruffymetalcat , @radicalsombra and @blackgirlalmighty if any of you want to delve into your soul and reveal yourself to the world.

[outlanderfandomfollies]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts anon and thanks for your patience in waiting for my response!

As you can see, I cut out the blogger W&S’s full “PR” post about MM that you had attached to your ask. Instead, I'm just going to address some excerpts from the post. For those who want to read W&S’s entire post, it can be found HERE.

On Q Scores

So let’s look at W&S’s false PR claim about MM related to Q Scores:

“Quite simply a Q-score is a measurement of the familiarity and appeal of a brand, celebrity, company, or entertainment product. Used to be, Q-scores were measured by a celebrity’s appearances on TV/film, talk shows and in entertainment magazines. Nowadays, the score is figured almost solely from social medial statistics. To put the score in perspective, right now Johnny Depp has the highest Q-score at 92. Trump’s Q-score is 98. Sam and Cait’s Q-scores range from 38-42 which is a very respectable range for actors in their genre. The interesting thing is that this time last year, MM had a Q-score of 18, which has risen to over 30 as of today and why? Because of Sam. Here is a girl that has chased fame since she was 12 years old and she’s finally got her hands on something that can help her achieve that. She’s going to continue to use him and us unless we do one thing.

“Ignore her.”

I have no idea where W&S got her numbers but the reality is that from everything I can tell, Sam and Cait DON’T actually have official Q scores. Ironically, MM has several Q Scores from when she was a young adult (19 to 21 years-old; between 2007-2009).

You have to pay a fee to get the actual Q Scores, so I did not obtain MM’s actual scores, but as you can see in the above screenshots, those Q Scores exist for MM but NOT for S or C. 

And honestly, all of the above makes sense, given that Q Scores are:

“The recognized industry standard for measuring consumer appeal of performers, brand ambassadors, influencers, characters, licensed properties and brands.” [emphasis added]

Q Scores for celebrities are most useful to help companies know if their sponsorship of shows that feature those celebrities can sell products. Outlander is a cable show--it doesn’t have commercial sponsors. So businesses have no incentive to figure out how appealing S or C are to consumers. However, according to IMDb, from 2007 to 2009, MM had been on shows that involve commercial sponsors, including 224 episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful.

I’ve done this Q score search several times over the years and it always yields the same results. If you doubt me, you can do your own HERE. 

So MM was clearly NOT trying to use the relatively unknown C-list actor S to up her Q Score, especially since S didn’t even have a Q Score. 

Furthermore, based on his IMDb profile, Billy Magnussen, the guy MM dated just before S, was about on a par with (and probably slightly more famous than) S at the time that MM was dating Billy--and during the time she was dating S. (BTW, Billy like S, also doesn’t have a Q Score. 🤷) Consequently, it made no sense for MM to drop Billy to date S (or to even “secretly continue to date Billy” while she “pretended to date S” as ES falsely claimed  🙄) because there was NO major career advantage for MM in her being linked with S rather than Billy--especially in 2016, when S hadn’t started making Hollywood films.

MM’s dating Sam did not increase her social media followers/activity enough to significantly impact her career

W&S also made an analogy to MM’s motivations in dating S by referring to a fictional character ship on the soap opera Days of Our Lives. The fictional characters “EF and Sami” were shipped by viewers as “Ejami.” Viewers waited 8 years for them to get together. which finally happened in 2013. Days fans blew up social media with their happiness.

According to W&S, in 2014, Nielsen started to include social media in their ratings of shows. So the show’s producer Ken Corday decided to break Ejami up and have EJ get blackmailed into a relationship with a younger woman. Corday did this hoping that the viewers would be outraged and light up social media. Viewers chose not to fall for his “devious plan”; instead, they “went silent.” Consequently, the social media ratings for Days tanked. W&S goes on to say:

“What’s my point in all this? My point is that MM is taking PR lessons from Corday. That picture she posted with the rainbow wasn’t some innocent thing, she KNEW using a rainbow would rile fans up. You see in Hollywood, there’s one simple and very true rule “There’s no such thing as bad publicity!” Every time you interact on MM’s Twitter or Instagram, whether to say yay or nay, whether you call her a saint or a slut -she benefits from it.  Every single time! Don’t think social media is that important? I have a friend that’s an actor – a relatively well-known soap opera actor at that - who was just turned down for a role because his social media presence wasn’t that strong. No joke! “

Hello?! First, does W&S realize she is conflating a young jobbing actress’ social media popularity with how social media can impact show ratings because of audience reaction to fictional characters and plots? We’re talking apples and oranges here. 🤷

Yes, sometimes celebrity social media makes a difference. But in the eyes of Hollywood, MM isn’t even on the radar in terms of social media. Because a social media presence in Hollywood involves MILLIONS of followers--NOT THOUSANDS.

For instance, in July 2018, a few months after MM and S broke up, MM had about 24,600 followers. 

At the same time,  Emma Watson (an A- list film actor) had  47 MILLION IG Followers and Sophie Turner (a B+ list TV/ film actor) had 7.7 MILLION IG Followers.

I don’t remember how many IG followers MM had when she first started to date S; I think it was around 14,000 followers. So even if she increased her following by 10,000 during the time they dated, that is meaningless by Hollywood standards. And the amount of traffic on her social media that those extra 10,000 followers added would again be meaningless in Hollywood terms. 

And I’m sorry, there is such a thing as bad publicity. The hate on social media by certain Outlander fans towards MM in which they accused her of being a “beard” a “paid girlfriend” and “trashy” isn’t the kind of publicity that would boost anyone’s career in Hollywood. Because remember, as stated above, Q Scores measure “consumer appeal.” Nasty comments on social media like the ones repeatedly made towards MM by certain Outlander fans would have actually lowered--not raised--her general “consumer appeal.” 

IN CONCLUSION: MM had little to gain in dating S in terms of helping her career. If she had stayed with Billy she would have faired about the same--and maybe better because there wouldn’t have been all those awful SM comments made about her by Outlander fans. Consequently, the conspiracy theory that she left Billy to be with S (or to “pretend” to be with S) as a way of boosting her career doesn’t make sense.

BOTTOM LINE: Don’t believe the “PR experts” in Shipperville

From what I can tell, almost everyone in Shipperville who claims to have some PR background is either exaggerating their background, lying, or has PR experience that is not in the entertainment industry. This is because they consistently provide PR misinformation that comes right from the tinhat playbook passed on from fandom to fandom from the time of the faux Lord of the Rings Domlijah ship from years ago. My advice is that fans shouldn’t believe anything they say, especially if they discuss PR conspiracy theories regarding S & C. JMHO

[See more below the cut about a question the anon had about interpreting a comment left on W&S’s post and another issue raised by the anon.]

Interpreting an Old Remark

“Could you also interpret mega________’s comment from the post? I am confused because I thought she was an Anti/Truther, not a shipper, since she has made supportive posts of Sam and the women he has had relationships with like MM.”

Anon, you might want to ask  herself to explain what she meant when she wrote the comment:  “How many? Not one. Zero, zero zero. DONE!!  ❤️️ ❤️️ “

To my knowledge mega_________ is a nonshipper who was always supportive of MM. Her remark was a riff on a twitter exchange between S & C based on an Erika Jayne song. Basically, S & C were saying they don’t have any more f*cks to give about fandom drama.

I would assume, given that she has always been supportive of MM, that mega_________ was implying that MM would give “zero f*cks” about W&S’s suggestion that Outlander fans “ignore her” on social media.

But that’s just my interpretation based largely on the fact that I know she is a nonshipper. However, W&S’s post is 4 years old. It’s remotely possible mega_________ was a shipper back then, in which case, I would interpret the comment differently. (Like myself, many nonshippers started out as shippers.)   As I said, it would be better if you ask mega_________ yourself Anon. 

As to the other blogger you mentioned being “disappointed with” (whose name was one of the ones I blanked out in your ask), as far as I know she is a lovely woman who was a shipper (although she rarely posted about it). I would assume by now she has moved on from the ship and might be embarrassed by some of the things she said years ago (remember, that post was from 2017).

[edited]

[stagesofabreakup]

Stages of a Breakup: Week 50

1. Uber home from Sam’s house for 8 dollars

2. Get a gay black man named Dwayne who you bond with over Will Downing who tells you about the old Mardi Gras traditions he had growing up in the Tremé

3. It’s Lundi Gras!

4. Unpack the 2 containers of meatballs and red sauce and polenta that have leaked/exploded

5. Eat a pastry that was loose in there

6. It’s still good

7. Successfully connect to wifi on not 1 but 2 devices with no help!!!!

8. Try to make plans for today/tonight but everyone is asleep

9. Start the movie “Jack,” a 1996 Robin Williams movie also with Diane Lane where he is born 10?

10. Everyone responds to your texts at once

11. Quick take a shower/get dressed

12. Uber to Molly’s to go to Red Beans (parade)

13. She is still getting ready

14. Wait there

15. Try on a blonde wig and 2 turbans

16. These are not your looks

17. Your friend Mary-Devon meets you guys

18. Try to catch the parade

19. Catch it!

20. Wait in line for a bathroom

21. Run into some people

22. Eat some 7$ gumbo Molly gets

23. Get a free piece of chicken

24. Run into your friend Claire!!!

25. Hang out

26. Get too high

27. Think you lost Molly for an hour when really she’s only been on the phone 13 minutes

28. Go back to Kate’s house with Molly

29. She and Kate craft

30. You want to craft but none of your stuff is here

31. Make a weird headband/headpiece out of scraps they both have

32. It’s pretty bad

33. Watch 3 episodes of America’s Next Top Model and drink a lot of vodka with Triple Sec and grapefruit juice

34. You guys Uber Eats 60 dollars worth of sushi that still isn’t enough

35. Eat

36. Decide to go to this Krewe de Selena dance party at Allways Lounge

37. Rally

38. Kate and Molly get dressed

39. You stay as you are

40. Uber there

41. Go to the dance party

42. The bar is cash only

43. And the ATM is broken

44. Go to Kajun’s

45. Get drinks and money

46. Hang for a while

47. Run into a girl you have complicated feelings about

48. She touches you too aggressively which always happens

49. See this couple you met 4 years ago when he moved her down and they broke up but now they’re back together and he moved here to be with her

50. Leave

51. Run into Rachel and her bff Hallie who is visiting from Portland

52. Go back to Kajun’s because they need $ as well

53. Get a double whiskey sour

54. Hang

55. Go back

56. The performances have started

57. See a 17 year old rapper

58. You know that because all of his songs mention that he is 17 and still in school

59. He is amazing (Maja?)

60. The next performance is some amazing men twerking and one of the best dancers you have ever seen in your whole life

61. Somehow without realizing it you have moved from the back to the second row and are dancinggg

62. See your friend Mariama!!!!!!!!!!

63. You love her

64. It’s so nice to see people you know and love!

65. Leave at 2:00am

66. Take an Uber that’s TWENTY-SEVEN DOLLARS because surge pricing for Mardi gras

67. This is usually like an 11 dollar ride for context/rage

68. Your Uber driver is an adult man named Kevin who tells you he isn’t driving Uber for the money (which apparently he “doesn’t need”) but to meet a girlfriend

69. You stop talking to him but are enraged at how cavalier/misogynistic he is being, and how it clearly doesn’t even occur to him how that’s a terrifying this to say to a woman he’s alone with, driving, at night, to her fucking house

70. Angry tweet about it

71. Say nothing

72. Get home

73. Take a shower and try to wash all your makeup off, unsuccessfully

74. Sleep for 4 hours

75. MARDI GRAS!!!!!!

76. Your alarm goes off to meet Molly at Kate’s to go with her but you don’t want to do that

77. Hang out with Erica who’s awake

78. Eat meatballs & polenta

79. Talk

80. It’s so nice you haven’t gotten to hang out with her that much and it’s really nice to catch up

81. Do your makeup together

82. Drink champagne

83. A guy gets back to you about a potential room in NY for March and you arrange to get in touch when you get back after you explain that it’s Mardi Gras and you’re going to be drunk very soon

84. She has so much good glitter

85. Ride with her and Joe

86. Get a 6 pack at a corner store

87. Walk to Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shoppe (oldest running bar in the continental US)

88. Get a “purple drink” that’s deceivingly strong

89. Walk to meet people

90. See so many costumes

91. Drink

92. See Erica’s drunk friend and her kids one of whom is a sleeping baby, the other of whom is miserable and 3 today

93. Bounce back and forth between R Bar & Mimi’s areas

94. Go to Grace’s house with Molly & Sam

95. Watch some of Sam’s porn’s

96. They are good

97. Drink more

98. Eat a sandwich

99. Mardi Gras!

100. Run into more people

101. Take pictures

102. Eat king cake

103. More people

104. Use the bathroom at your friend Lindsey’s house

105. Watch and cry to the video for Ke$ha’s “Praying”

106. Whiskey

107. Walk more

108. So much bouncing around all over

109. You’re trying to avoid your ex-boyfriend and his gf because they are out together

110. Go to Granpre’s (bar) to meet people

111. Get drinks

112. Take a boomerang of some strangers pretending to take a shot

113. Walk into the Quarter again

114. Feel angry because your friends did drugs and are being by themselves and you miss them and feel outside and it’s frustrating

115. Frustrated Cry to Molly

116. Find Rachel

117. Sad Cry to her

118. Feel heard

119. Decide to go to Lost Love Lounge by yourself because comics/friends will be there even though your ex-bf might be there

120. Go

121. See people

122. Not him

123. He’s not there

124. A guy cries to you that he didn’t give you enough credit for the things you were right about when you were here and your leaving has left a hole and people “needed you”

125. Which is very nice

126. Uber back with Geoff & MD

127. Hang for a little while

128. Get the key to their house, where moving to tomorrow

129. MD gets you an Uber since your phone keeps closing out of all its’ apps which is fun and not terrible or frustrating at all

130. Shower

131. Makeup remover

132. Realize how sunburned you are from an entire day spent walking outside in the sun

133. Could be worse

134. Try to watch Jack more

135. Are too tired

136. Sleep

137. Wake up at 8:42am

138. Erica is awake!!!

139. Lie on the couch with her

140. Watch This Is the End

141. Get Chinese food

142. Think about getting vegetables, don’t

143. It’s Valentine’s Day!

144. Watch a documentary about a rich British man who murderd his girlfriend then his mom tried to cover it up for him

145. Watch Some Like It Hot

146. Wish for aloe

147. Check your ex-boyfriend’s new gf’s social media

148. Huge mistake

149. You dumb idiot

150. Block her on Instagram

151. And facebook

152. Talk to Erica

153. Realize through her wisdom you can’t do this to yourself

154. Block him on Facebook

155. Feel good and in control

156. It’s ok however long it’s taking you to process this and you shouldn’t judge yourself for

157. Have Erica get you an Uber

158. Do makeup and pack in 16 minutes

159. Get to Mary-Devon and Geoff’s house

160. Drop off your things

161. Go to Carrollton Station for the mic

162. See people

163. It’s nice

164. Your ex-bf comes

165. His gf isn’t there

166. Glad to see they’re spending their first Valentine’s Day evening apart

167. She’s probably working and they’ll have sex later

168. You can’t check anything now

169. Which is good

170. Go up pretty early

171. Buy a million drinks

172. Your tab is 36 dollars in a place where drinks are 2 dollars

173. Get a little drunk

174. Smoke some weed

175. Ignore your ex-bf & don’t say one word to him

176. Watch his set where he talks about dating a “Catholic woman”

177. It’s gross to you

178. He looks good though

179. But who cares!!!!!!!!

180. Eat 2 hot dogs at the bar

181. Leave

182. Come home with Geoff & MD

183. Eat a chicken taco

184. Put your leftovers in the refrigerator you forgot to earlier

185. Fall asleep while sitting up

186. Walk to the guest bedroom

187. Spend Valentine’s Day sleeping on the bed you had sex with your ex-boyfriend on the last night (and morning!) you were in New Orleans

188. Seems tragically & poetically right

189. It’s ok though

190. Lol it also has the sleeping bag on it that was your ex-bf’s dog bed at your old house

191. You never got to see him (the dog) and now you leave in 2 days and you probably won’t

192. He is a sweet baby angel and you hope you will see him another time

193. Wake up at 5:15am for some reason

194. Some of your eyeliner has migrated to different places

195. Stay on your phone for 2 hours

196. Go back to sleep?

197. Try to text people to go to lunch with you at The Turkey and the Wolf

198. Everyone has a job

199. Mary-Devon comes home!!!

200. She has time and wants to go to lunch with you!!!!

201. Smoke weed

202. Their slogan is “Get high and come by” so really you’re just following orders

203. Drive there

204. It’s 19 minutes away

205. You’re high

206. Order the most beautiful food of:

207. Fried bologna sandwich

208. Fried pot pie (Like a savory turnover)

209. Roasted garlic eggplant dip with dill & cucumbers & roti

210. A drink with tequila, spice & almond milk called

“Nothing Goes According to Plan”

211. Mary-Devon gets a different equally beautiful drink called “My Mom Blacks Out Better Than Yours” which is a great name

212. Wait for what felt like a million years for the food to come

213. IT COMES

214. It’s perfect

215. The fried pot pie thing is one of the best most perfect things you have ever eaten

216. Go home

217. Listen to some of Under the Blacklight, this breakup album by Rilo Kiley you listened to a lot abroad before you were ever in a relationship

218. It has a different meaning to you now!!!!!

219. You’re excited to rediscover that

220. Remember that a long time ago your ex-boyfriend tweeted how wonderful it was falling out of love and your (you thought) mutual friend sent him a link to one of these songs

221. Annoyed that even this can’t be all the way free of him

222. Oh well, it will be one day

223. Still high

224. Take some leftovers even though you could have just pushed through and ate it but then you would have been uncomfortably full and you’re proud of yourself you didn’t

225. Get home

226. Lie down and watch The Office with Fred the cat

227. Take a shower without conditioner

228. Put aloe on!

229. Watch The Office for many hours

230. Eat your fried bologna leftovers

231. Think about getting ready for this mic before the show

232. Ubering everywhere costs so much money

233. Order an Uber on your laptop because your phone is a piece of shit

234. Get there

235. Go up

236. Do well

237. Meet a comic who’s on the next show you’re on

238. Hitch a ride with him

239. Get to Sidney’s

240. Mary-Devon told you sometimes there is a man who sells pulled pork in waffle cones outside the show

241. Look for him

242. He is not there

243. Lots of people you know are there!!

244. Hang

245. Get your clothes for Mardi Gras from your friend Jade lolol

246. Do your set

247. It’s very fun

248. You miss being able to do comedy for longer than 2 minutes

249. Eat free strawberry ice cream

250. Get 25 dollars!!!

251. Convince Geoff (who’s driving you back to his house) to go to Hank’s

252. Spend TWELVE DOLLARS on fried food

253. Which doesn’t sound insane but fried fish is 2 pieces for 1.50, so it is

254. Eat some chicken strips and a corn dog with your friends

255. Go home

256. You’re drunk

257. Look at Geoff’s senior yearbook and see pictures of him and everyone’s quotes

258. Find your ex-boyfriend’s old roommate

259. Want to send the picture to your ex-boyfriend because it’s truly a hilarious gem

260. But you don’t !!!!

261. Progress bitch

262. Watch some of The Office

263. Pass out

264. Wake up like 5 different times because you can hear MD’s alarm for work

265. Go back to sleep

266. Sort of have a group text with your friends Molly & Gabe you keep falling asleep during

267. Wake up when your friend Wyshonda calls you

268. She’s near and can come get you to hang out!

269. Quick go to check in/print your boarding pass

270. Find out your flight is at 7:45pm not 9:00pm like you thought?

271. Call Rachel see if she can still take you to the airport

272. She can

273. Get dressed

274. Wyshonda comes

275. Get sushi from the grocery store

276. And so many free samples

277. Think about getting a king cake to take back, decide against it

278. Go park and eat in her car which reminds you of high school

279. She tells you all about her trip to Cuba which sounds amazing

280. Catch up in general

281. She drives you to this cool abandoned house that is covered in graffiti

282. She takes some pictures of you! (She is a photographer)

283. You look at them and don’t like your body but accept that that’s ok

284. Hang out for a while longer

285. She drops you back home

286. Think about packing

287. Think about drinking

288. Watch The Office

289. Take a shower

290. Eat cold fried fish and chicken and one meat pie

291. Finally start doing stuff

292. Ask MD if she wants the white wine you have left in a baby bottle, then drink it yourself when she asks, “Why don’t you just drink it now?”

293. Pack everything

294. MD takes you to Rachel’s

295. You guys listen to songs with the word “blood” in the title for some reason

296. Hug her and say goodbye

297. Rachel takes you to the airport

298. You guys talk for a little bit at the terminal, it’s good and you love her

299. Go to your plane

300. Look for daiquiris

301. Text your friend Laura who flies for a living if they’re anywhere near

302. They don’t sell them at this terminal

303. They do have a smoothie king though

304. Get one (Berry Punch)

305. Get two Bacardi white rum’s on the plane

306. You made your own!!!!

307. The plane is half empty so you get to go from being cramped in a middle seat to having your own whole row

308. One of the flight attendants is hot

309. Not hot enough to make you sign up for a credit card though

310. Write in your journal

311. Masturbate

312. Yes on the plane

313. No one’s there it’s fine

314. Try to sleep

315. The plane is landing

316. You land in Newark, NJ even though you live in Brooklyn, NY because it is cheaper

317. Take a bus

318. Meet a Norwegian woman and her daughter

319. Help them get where they’re going

320. She gives you a bar of Norwegian chocolate

321. You give her glass beads Mardi Gras beads

322. But then you feel terrible because you tell them to get off one stop too late ☹ ☹ but they’ll figure it out

323. But you still feel terrible

324. Take the train

325. See a woman that you can’t tell if she’s being harassed or not

326. Go up and ask her if she’s alright

327. She sort of is blank

328. Ask if she knows him and wants to talk to him

329. She says no

330. He starts yelling at you, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH A BLACK MAN TALKING TO A BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN?”

331. He is kind of slurring his words a little and it makes you uneasy

332. Your train comes

333. You both get on the train, you get in a different car than her in case he follows you

334. He does

335. He keeps yelling at you

336. You close your eyes and do your best to ignore him

337. It goes on

338. Change cars at the next stop

339. Luckily he doesn’t follow

340. Take the train forever

341. Finally get home

342. You have three exciting pieces of mail

343. A save the date for a wedding you’re not sure you’ll go to that’s in a literal castle

344. A nice note from your mom

345. Your moviepass card!!!!!

346. Check to see when you have work tomorrow

347. Not til 3:00pm baby!!!!!

348. Feel good in this place

349. And happy to be here

350. Know for the first time that this is your home now

351. Check your messages

352. Your friend Wyshonda sent you three pictures!

353. They are phenom & you love them

354. Decide to post tomorrow

355. Wake up an hour before your alarm

356. Think about sleeping more or doing something productive

357. Waste the hour scrolling through your phone

358. Post the pictures Wyshonda took

359. Message 2 people about seeing rooms for March

360. Eat some old vegetables, chocolate & granola for breakfast

361. Waste time

362. Wait for a train for 20 minutes because you had to buy a new Metrocard

363. Only get to work out for 30 minutes

364. It’s a good 30 min though

365. Work

366. You’re a “floater”

367. Which kind of sucks

368. But there’s free pizza

369. Have 2 pieces

370. Make 93 dollars

371. Solve a problem

372. NEW free pizza!

373. Have 3 pieces

374. Walk home in SLUSH because it SNOWED

375. Yesterday you were wearing a sundress in New Orleans and now you’re mad you don’t have snowboots

376. Feel the most tired

377. Home

378. Facebook

379. Not enough sleep

380. Wake up to go to the gym

381. Stop in a Modell’s Sporting Goods to see if they have sneakers because you DESPERATELY need some new ones

382. They have a smallish selection and you don’t really love any of them

383. Convince yourself to get cool thin sneakers because you are momentarily swayed by the world

384. Spend 59.84 bc you signed up for a rewards card to get 10% off

385. Go to the gym

386. Work out in them

387. THEY FEEL TERRIBLE AND YOUR FEET STILL HURT MAYBE MORE THAN BEFORE AND YOU HATE THEM YOU JUST WANT CHUNKY LAME SEARS SNEAKERS BUT YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIND SUBURBAN STORES IN NEW YORK

388. Text your friends Molly and Gabe

389. They say return them

390. Look up DSW, see that there’s one very close to you

391. Go back to the store not even an hour later

392. Return them

393. The salespeople are kind

394. Train to work

395. There was a fire on the track so there are delayssssssss

396. Wait for so long and get stressed about being late to work

397. Read more of your book “Bad Haircut” by Tom Perrotta

398. It’s good writing but the perspective isn’t something you can all the way latch onto

399. You’re late to work

400. You have many groups

401. Lose your voice very badly

402. Drink 3-4 cups of Sleepytime tea at work because it’s the only kind of tea they have left

403. Make 208 dollars in tips!!!!!!

404. Bond with your coworkers, they are mostly really cool

405. Think about making out with one of them

406. Home

407. Watch Eddie Izzard’s Dress to Kill special that you first watched at a friend’s house when you were in 5th grade

408. It’s SO good

409. He is a genius and so funny and this special is ridiculously good

410. Eat 2 pieces of Papa John’s pizza and an entire sleeve (except for like 6) of Club crackers

411. Watch Fergie sing the Jazz National Anthem at the NBA All Stars game

412. It’s breathtakingly terrible in a way only art can be

413. Floss

414. You’re seeing a room tomorrow that you really hope works out!!!!

415. And you hope you have your voice back by then otherwise it’ll be weird!!!

416. Drink water

417. Try to sleep

418. Eventually succeed

[theguidedarts-old]

Brithday Story 3: A Horrible Trequel!

This is the one you’ve been waiting for.

Things have been building up in the previous two episodes, so FINALLY we will be getting to the meat of the story. Get ready to chow down. Or not. It’s all up to you after all. 

You just pressed the button, and boom, your spaceship goes zoomy zoom.

[1] Waste Step 1, because you already did what should have taken at least 3590 steps in the introduction.

[2] Think about how nice your writer is for only wasting 1 Step- Oh bloody, she just wasted another step, when will this curse end?

[3] Nobody knows.

[1] Waste Step 1 Again. Oh, okay.

[2] Plot setup: As everyone should know, this is a direct sequel to the Birthday Stories that came before, and is a direct prequel to 4, 5, 6, and all of those. This is also mentioned in another post.

[3] Old Man says something. “Hi” You reply. “Hello.” “Why are we greeting each other, like we just saw each other after weeks of not?”  “Who knows.”

[4] Alright, down to business, you say. Okay.

[5] You walk over to the brand new control panel, and look around you.  You notice there is a sliding door where the door was, and now you notice that where there was a large hole, there is now glass filling said gap. OR something transparent material. 

[6] But.. This thing must be ancient? Like, it looks really old, like maybe one of the temples from that game you once played, or from that other game you played.

[7] Explore this room. There’s not much at all to see here, for now at least.. 

[8] Look out the window again. Now, it would seem you’re in space. You wonder how far away you are from the Old Man’s Island, so you ask him if there’s any way you two would find out.

[9] He looks at the control panel again, which just says, “103.49 KM away from START_POINT.”

[10] Take a closer look at the inputs. There is a screen, with a button. You press the button.

[11] The screen says: “Create new WAYPOINT?: START_POINT”

[12] There is a red and a green button. You press the green one, as you assume that means yes.

[13] The screen says: “WAYPOINT created.”

[14] Tell the Old Man of your achievements. You do this.

[15] The Old Man says, “Okay then, I guess we can go back if we need to then.”

[16] You then see a planet.

[17] Meanwhile: You just brought TWENTY-SIX (26) equally-sized outside of your house, and placed ONE (1) california king mattress in the middle of this icositehexagon, following the steps of a very helpful guide.

[18] You feel very sleepy...  And that mattress just sitting in the center of the icositehexagon... It beckons you. And you give in.

[19] You lay down on the mattress. As you do, you think you see the pillows that formed the shape... Floating. And then the trees and buildings around you going down... No, you’re going up! But you’re too tired to care... This is probably just a hallucination anyway.

[20] Have a very interesting dream. In this dream, you see someone that used to go to your school. You recognize this kid as the person that disappeared just a few months ago, on their birthday, with rocks teleporting around them.

You haven’t seen them in months, and at the same time, this experience is so real. 

You walk up to the edge of some platform you’re standing on, and see differently-colored rubber inflatable platforms, with a leather design on them. 

You don’t know why you know, but you know to jump on them. And you do, and when you get to the other side you have some sort of party.

[21] Wake up. You wake up on your bed, surrounded by pillows. It seems like these pillows created something of a bubble around your bed, protecting you from the spacey-elements. 

[22] Look around the room you’re in. You look around, and it reminds you of the temples of a game you once played, and also of a different game you also played once, or twice, or however many times.

[23] You walk over to a recess in the room, that looks like a sliding door would be there. The door opens, and you see the kid that disappeared months ago, as well as an old man you’ve never seen before but seems familiar.

[24] Back to the main character.  “Wow, look at that planet!” “Yeah, looks pretty interesting.” “Hi.” Says the person you did not know was in the room.

At this point, I’m sure everyone’s confused, so everyone will be named permanently today.

The main character is now named AA,  the Old Man is named OM, and the third person who intruded into the story by doing some ritual will be named CC. Back to the story.

[25] This new person surprises you. AA: Wha- How? CC: Well, so far it looks like I read something on the internet and it told me to place equal-sized pillows on the ground around a California King Mattress and then I felt tired so I went to sleep on it (because it seemed convenient enough) and then I was here. OM: Are you... Serious? How many pillows did you have? CC: Yeah, pretty much. OM: And you’re not offset by any of this? CC: Well, I kinda am, but hey, if you get a California King Mattress and 26 pillows, what do you think would happen? OM: Nothing? CC: Exactly.

[26] Look back at that planet you’re hurling at. You know, that planets getting bigger... and bigger... and bigger. You know, you should probably hit the fancy [STOP] button that the console’s telling you to press.

[27] Press it about 10 seconds before hitting the planet. You forget to specify a time! Everybody dies and it’s your fault for not being direct.

But I’m feeling generous. I’ll give you a second chance to fix your ways and not fail us.

[28] Press it exactly 10 seconds before you hit the planet. Something tells you that you need to specify the time exactly in order to not die. You do this.

[29] Put on your favorite jam. You are sure this song is great. Too bad you can’t hear it yet though.

[30] Question why this song is on your spaceship.  You have no idea, and stop questioning it. It’s not like this could be important at all.

[31] Get a better look at the planet. All of the sudden, the planet gets smaller. You move closer.

[32] Go closer when it gets smaller.

[33] This seems familiar.

[34] Nah, it isn’t familiar. It’s the exact opposite of the similar situation.

[35] You see, You’re fairly sure that this “similar situation” had a rock that was continuously getting larger. Yes, exactly.

[36] The planet gets smaller again! Go faster towards it. Close the distance.

[37] You ram right into the planet, but it’s so small by that point it doesn’t really matter. Right?

No. You idiot. This planet was Earth! You just destroyed Earth! You idiot! You weren’t supposed to go closer! You were supposed to observe as Earth got smaller and smaller until it got larger again, but look closer and realize you could go home but you ruined it and now everything is bad and the whole world is ruined.

[38] You really don’t care. Who’s this person to tell you what you do and don’t care about, anyway? It’s not like you had friends there or something. You have to go back in time to stop yourself from this happening.

[39] Tell the others. They say they heard the voice too, that you aren’t special. What are THEY to say, though, you’re a very special person and you will not let anyone tell you otherwise!

[40] Try to hide the fact that you are secretly guilty for the death of 7 billion people. Only 7 billion? I’ll have you know there at least 1 trillion species (source: https://www.livescience.com/54660-1-trillion-species-on-earth.html, and yes I know what MLA citing is and NO I am not going to waste my time doing it, as according to the plot of this story, Earth just stopped existing in time for me to conveniently not need to bother with MLA citing or any kind of citing other than putting a link there and hoping for the best. After all, it’s not like you’re going to be releasing this comercially, right?) so killing 7 billion people should not matter to you. You didn’t just threaten biodiversity, you ended it entirely. You monster.

[41] Go on a quest to save Earth before it’s destroyed, or something. Now, while we could compact this into one step, and we should, but the rest of this step will be shown in the... (to be continued in maybe the next guide maybe in 20 years.)

[42] Party. You succeeded. Now what? Well, it just so happens after your wonderful adventure, you found the same room that you found in your dream! So you party there.

[43] Take a closer look at the room around you. You’re in one of those kitchen/dining room double packages, from the 1970s or something. The door next to you leads to the path with the platforms that flash in and out of existence.

[44] Eat something. On your adventure, the Old Man, you, and “Couch Cook,” as they are now referring to themselves (they cooked a couch, it’s a long story) are waiting for one of the Old Man’s robot servant things to feed you a meal.

[45] However, you are kind of bored. So you talk to each other. 

[46] You talk about your adventure. However, since you the reader cannot comprehend what they are speaking about (since you were not there to experience it) you cannot hear their conversation.

[47] That or the writer is lazy and wants to get this over with.

[48] Probably, the latter.

[49] Waste the last step on something pointless.

[50] You go back to the temple.

The end.

Goodbye. Just wait for tomorrow, then it’ll make more sense. I guess.