#probably a knock of necklace for a knock off bear nothing more

[erwinsvow]

you fiddle with the r necklace, rubbing it between your fingers like you always do deep in thought. you should have gotten rid of the necklace the day the two of you broke up, but a hopelessly sad and defiant part of you refused to take it off. it’d been long enough now that it was getting to the point of weird rather than just pathetic. at least, your friends thought so, and they never hesitated to let you know. after all, there was no one that hated your boyfriend more than them.

“you’re doing it again,” kiara comments, staring at your hand mid-motion, the pendant slipping from your grip as you drop it immediately. 

“doing what?” you question innocently, face burning. 

“i still think it’s creepy that he wanted you to wear a necklace with his initial. it’s like a brand. it’s dehumanizing.” 

“or, like, a dog collar,” jj says, holding back a laugh. you look up at them with a blank expression, because you really don’t have any retort. maybe it was rafe’s brand on you, maybe your friends are right. but you think, chest tight, that you didn’t mind being branded by him.

you change the topic because you’ll start crying if you think about it too long—of course they don’t mind, they encourage you to talk about anything but rafe these days. if only it was that easy to get your mind off of him.

rafe doesn’t make it easy on you either. what was supposed to be an amenable break-up had transformed and twisted into something completely different—something that your friends would kill you if they found out about. the first few weeks had been normal, like any other break-up, you sobbed on john b’s shoulder, accepted tissues from pope and listened to jj talk badly about rafe for as long as you could listen. you spent hours with kiara and sarah exploring all the reasons why it was so not meant to be, not when you and rafe were night and day, not when he was still dealing and doing coke. and then, just like other break-ups, the time came to put all of rafe’s shirts and the teddy bears he’d bought you and the photos on your wall into a box and get rid of it all.

you think you’re doing a good thing, by bringing rafe his shirts back instead of burning them like jj suggested. you knock on the door to tannyhill, making sure you spot his truck parked outside—even though one glance at the car where you’d lost your virginity to rafe makes your face burn up. you feel flushed and clammy when rafe opens the door, and he looks at you like nothing’s happened since he saw you last, and the rest of your resolve caves almost immediately. 

“hey, kid.”

“hi,” you chirp, pulling your eyes away from rafe’s before he convinces you to do something you’ll regret. “i brought your clothes back. i had more than i realized.” you offer him the box, but he doesn’t extend his arms.

“nah, you can keep them. you’ll be needin’ them anyways.”

“what?”

“how long d’you think we’re gonna stay broken up for? huh? another week? two?”

“rafe, i-”

“it’s okay, kid, just keep them.”

“no, i think you should take them-”

“why don’t you come upstairs and put them away f’me? hm?”

the first time it happens, you tell yourself it was a one-time mistake, that could happen to anyone. you’re wrapped up in rafe’s sheets, naked and sweaty, trying your hardest to catch your breath while you stare at the muscles of rafe’s back while he pulls up his laptop and finishes whatever he was working on. your phone keeps going off, probably your friends wondering why you’re so late to dinner. you pray to god kiara doesn’t check your location.

“you gonna get that?” rafe asks, turning back to look at you. you just look at him, delirious and still incredibly sad, wondering if this is the last time you’ll ever be in rafe’s bed again. 

“no, they’re just gonna ask me where i am.”

“still lettin’ them control how you really feel? gotta work on that, baby.” you feel any anger bubbling up at the fact that rafe still thinks you let your friends decide your feelings for you—a key point you had argued during the break-up—melt away at the sound of the nickname.

“they don’t like how much i like you.” you say it kind of sadly, like things could be different, like the two of you could have made it work in another world. you fiddle with your necklace, before unclasping it and letting it drop onto rafe’s palm. “i should go now.” 

it feels much too intense, like the third-act breakup in the cheesy books you read. you want rafe to fight for you, you want your friends to like him, but that means he has to change, and as much as it pains you to admit it, you don’t want any part of him to change. you want your friends to change their minds, but they won’t, and you want rafe to care that your friends don’t like him, but he doesn’t.

you try to move but he manhandles you into place, a hand on your wrist tugging you back into bed. he pushes your hair aside, clasping the necklace back on, and then rafe presses a kiss to the back of your neck.

“don’t ever take this off again, got it?”

you nod. rafe sends you to the chateau in one of his shirts and you pray to god no one notices that or your necklace is still in its usual place.

the next time it happens, you can’t even try to argue that it was an accident. you knew rafe wouldn’t make this easy for you, but you didn’t think he could make it so impossibly difficult. his texts light up your phone, only a few feet away from pope and john on the couch, watching the movie but only half paying attention.

R: where are you tonight

R: you coming here or do i need to come get you?

your heart settles into your stomach, being attacked by the wings of the butterflies that have made their home there. rafe talks to you like the two of you are still dating, and your mind slips into an easy, soft place where that is still your reality. 

“what kinda porn are you lookin’ at right now?” jj asks, and you break out of your fantasy.

“what?” you blubber out, before john b interrupts.

“jj, stop making everything about porn.”

“i’ve seen that look before, man, it’s the exact face pope makes when he found somethin’ fun and fresh. so what’s your type, i mean, you can share with the class-”

after slapping jj on the back of the head and reassuring everyone that there was no porn on your phone—only the promise of something better waiting for you, but they don’t need to know that—you head out, replying to rafe quickly.

coming now. 

this time, you can’t lie and act surprised that you’ve ended up here again. rafe turns on his tv to watch the evening news, and it’s so silly you almost want to laugh, but you stay silent, watching him watch the news and taking a sip of the water he got for you. 

you turn your head to place the cup on his nightstand, and see your lip balm perched next to his lamp.

“i’ve been looking for this,” you say, picking it up and turning to rafe. 

“yeah, you left it here.”

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“‘cause i knew you’d be back.”

you think that’s enough to be your reality check. it’s not.

a week later, you accompany your friends to the bonfire. you play with your necklace while they fill up plastic cups with beer from the keg.

“you’re never gonna get over him if you keep wearing things he got you,” kiara says, taking a sip from her cup. you know she’s only trying to help you, that she’s only worried about you. you wish they would stop bringing him up.

“i’m not ready to take it off.”

“that’s not healthy. in fact, that’s so unhealthy that-”

“i said i’m not ready. can we drop it?”

“why not?” she asks, and you feel tears start to build along your eyes. “oh jeez, speak of the devil.” you feel a familiar hand on your shoulder, turning to face rafe.

“can i have a minute?” he says, looking at kie.

“no. you can’t have any,” comes her reply, until you look back. 

“kie, i’ll be right back.” 

you and rafe walk, ignoring the shout of your friend to not go, to an empty spot by the fire. 

“didn’t think you’d come here,” rafe says, quietly. you look at your shoes to avoid looking into his eyes.

“they dragged me along… trying to make me meet someone new.”

“yeah? is it working?” 

“i just told my best friend i’m not ready to take your necklace off, so, what’d you think-” rafe stops you, his hand coming up to lift your chin to make you meet his eyes finally. he presses his lip to yours—it feels different than the hundreds of times he’s kissed you before. your eyes flutter shut, a sole tear spilling down your cheek. 

you wonder if everyone’s looking. you decide you don’t really care.

“i told ya not to take that necklace off.”

“i listened, rafe,” you breathe softly.

“i know,” he says, kissing you again and then pulling away. “you’re a good girl. you always listen. i’m done with this crap, and i don’t care what your idiot friends say. not staying away from you. no one can make me, not even you.”

“i don’t want you to stay away.” rafe takes the pendant with his initial into his fingers, playing with it before letting it fall against your chest.

“good. now go tell them you’re coming home with me and let’s get outta here.”

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

💙Sat 12 Dec ‘20💙

◟̽◞̽ LIVE FROM LONDON aka “5 TIMES LOUIS NEARLY GAVE US HEART ATTACKS AND THE ONE TIME HE RAISED OUR BODIES BACK TO LIFE” ◟̽◞̽

The hype leading up to the event was beautiful and nerve wracking, with Louis' Walls streams showing the largest gain since release week, new merch dropping (pink! So much pink! It is the color of rock n roll after all...plus it's available in sizes ranging from XS to 3XL fuck yeah, so nice), LTHQ and Veeps whipping everyone into a frenzy with a barrage of tweets, plus Louis tweeted “if you have a speaker round the house plug it in, if you're old enough get yourself a drink. This is going to be special!” (fan: if I do that my mom will kill me! Louis, basically- fuck that, do what you want!), and then he posted the set list which genuinely took my stress levels down like 90% THANK YOU LOUIS, I was able to simply enjoy the cool static-y countdown with its rainbow glitches for a few. But ofc any calm went completely down the toilet the second he walked out with a giant ass H on his chest (the first heart attack) and started singing maybe the best he's ever sung in his life?? My heart was still pounding three minutes later when he sang the softest, most gorgeous version of We Made It, standing in front of a giant rainbow wheel. The arrangements on every song were incredible (the string section? YES!). He did the best version of Through The Dark I've ever heard and that song is already my fucking favorite, That Version of Two Of Us, ACOUSTIC ONLY THE BRAVE, rock Always You, stadium rock Fearless, and we all know about his version of Beautiful War (WOW), listen do I need to list every song? I WILL DON'T TRY ME. But on top of all that-- the NEW SONG!! Copy of a Copy of a Copy is, uh, amazing?? It's just... so GOOD...so.. gestures vaguely at like... all of it. The sound! The lyrics! GORGEOUS, and he really gets into the figurative lyrical territory that he admires so much in others' songs and has said he wants to do more, I love seeing that so much and the results are just... sublime. Truly. Much chatter now about the similarity in sound to Sign of the Times, as if it wasn't terrific enough already. So much to love about it! And I even loved the inclusion of the fan videos on KMM-- they were just on the screens behind Louis, it totally worked with the general cool look of everything and didn't detract at all, and tbh Louis singing directly to the wall  of singing louies was actually so lovely and precious. In conclusion, his voice throughout was PHENOMENAL, the band were great, strings included (hire those women Louis take them on the road, please!), the sets and lighting design and direction were awesome, the whole aesthetic was just SO on point, Louis said it best-- “we smashed it”. YEAH. YOU DID.

Other things: you didn’t think I was done with THAT FUCKING H SHIRT did you? It doesn't just have a GIANT H in the middle, above that (like tags!) are five asterisks, *****. YEAH. Look familiar? Yeah to me also damnnn. So, “end it”, “Harry”, or both? Poll time! Hair update: in a combined “you always come thru for your louies” and “you fucking demon troll” moment that's perfectly Louis he DID take his hat off to show us the glorious mane but I'm pretty sure he also trimmed it before the show! And: Hot Oli is already in the rearview I guess; ah we barely knew ye, but a new photog has appeared on the scene: enter Josh Halling (prev worked with Sam Fender) taking show pics today, including a super cool one on Louis' insta. Welcome to the team? Being a better guy than Jordan is a low bar, so just try to clear that one sir? And keep feeding us those great Louis pics! And: WBK Louis likes his backstage vodka redbull (and onstage 'water' bottles), and he confirmed between songs- “the power of vodka for me mate I’m loving it!” (straight? no, gay!). And: was the CK hoodie Louis was wearing in the pre show publicity photo (thanks Hot Oli) Harry's CK hoodie? Or simply a Copy of a…. well you know. And: hey guess what-- I gotta hand it to Veeps, against all odds that stream was flawless! Plus they got rid of the chat which was probably to facilitate that but also I simply appreciated it, good call. The Genius lyrics page for Copy of a Copy of a Copy did crash after the show though so it's cool don't worry; we've still got it. And finally: lots of people are talking now about how cool the show was but do any of them matter except DMAs reposting the pic on insta with hearts?! LOVE that for Louis.

And for the aftershow we got Louis on twitter! He thanked everyone (us, the crew, the band, Charlie, the strings, veeps, “all my personal team”), and answered a Q about doing another one-- “potentially but I doubt it, wanted to make this one special so no plans at the moment to do another.” About Copy he said “it will remain in the set for the tour and live shows but not sure when/if it will be released yet” but also re inclusion on LT2 “Probably but I want to keep all my options open. Very early in the process. Enjoy the moment!”

The rest of the day was pretty slow thank god, just some prerecorded content from Liam (a wizarding world spot) and a tik tok that's just him in the dark, shirtless, reacting to a fan screaming (literally) about how he apparently got relationship advice from Liam via facetime last night. And today's daily alarm, which was actually pretty wild, Liam and Roman reading a whole long rhyming poem about waking up! Very impressive indeed, I especially like when they rhyme “santa” with “banter”, perfectly British! And then also a strange interlude of Roman talking about how to impersonate Keanu Reeves, okay.

[thefanficmonster]

Finally, You’re Back

Part 1: ‘There You Are’

Karl Heisenberg (Resident Evil 8: Village) x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Mentions of Injury and Human Experimentation, Insecurity, Swearing, Spoilers for RE8

Genre: Angst, Romance, Some Humor and Fluff too

Summary: And there they are, back in that village half a decade later to retrieve what’s theirs but unaware of what they’ll find in place of what they remember.

Requested by one Anon and the idea was modified by another Anon, so thank you both so much for sharing your creativity with me, it’s really been a huge honor to write a fic inspired by such a beautiful idea. Love you both! 💕

If again is what he hoped and prayed for, why is he damning it now Why does he resent himself for having hope When he previously wished nothing but to have it Why does their presence hurt When it used to heal him Why do they remind him of how much of a monster he is When previously they were the only one making him human Why is he worthy of their presence When he’s only become worse They upheld their promise But the person they are coming back to is no longer alive He’s taken his place and he hates himself for it He’d kill himself to get him back He’d do just about anything Just to prevent those eyes from seeing them differently Just so he can greet them with open arms and say:

“Finally, you’re back“

But as of now all he can say is:

“You’re back, but the one you’re searching for will never return“

He was made aware of their presence the day of their arrival in the village. He knew all about their venture, going around the village asking for him to be looked at with terror by the villagers they came across. He watched as all the people refused to tell them his whereabouts, claiming they didn’t know or they couldn’t tell. No matter what bribery or convincing method Y/N tried to use, the villagers refused to stand down from their determined ground.

They refused to give up though, going against his prayers that they would. They might have felt discouraged but they never, not even for a second, thought to give it up. Never did they even consider forgetting him as an option. It’s been half a decade and they still remember him, they still have the will to look for him despite all the time that has passed, despite the odds that aren’t in their favor, despite the lack of help from anyone.

They keep going, keep trying. They keep driving the sword deeper into his chest, piercing his heart.

If only they could accept me like this. If only they could look at a monster the same way they looked at that boy they met five years ago...

His mistake, although blatantly obvious even to him, is not something he’s willing to correct. He doesn’t want to give them a chance. And the answer to the question many - even he himself - would ask ‘why’, that answer he doesn’t want revealed.

Because he knows it and would do anything in his power to keep it from swimming to the surface.

The answer? - It’s because he’s afraid. Terrified really.

What of? That’s the part he’s not sure about. Is he afraid of them being scared, disgusted and repulsed by him? Or is he afraid of the complete opposite - that they won’t bat an eye at the change he’s undergone. That latter option leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth, his stomach turning. He doesn’t believe he deserves that reaction, after all he’s done, after becoming the monster he is now, he’s done his best to not even think about them - attempts that have failed miserably. Not a day has gone by that they haven’t been on his mind. He thought getting rid of the dog tag necklace - the promise - would cleanse his system of their memory that’s etched itself so deeply within his mind and soul but his hands refused to cooperate when his brain kept telling them to lift that necklace off his neck. He couldn’t do it, and he hated himself because of it for a while, but if he’s being honest he felt more relieved than anything else. He doesn’t want the only real memory, the only pleasant memory of his human days gone. He doesn’t want to wipe Y/N from his mind, they’re the only thought that still sends his heartbeat speeding in a positive way. He knows he’s a coward for what he does, hiding in the shadows and watching them waste their time with the villagers who think they are downright insane for going around looking for Karl Heisenberg whom the entire village knows as Lord Heisenberg. Not using his title each time they ask never fails to bring a smile to his face. It’s a relief that they at least have a nice picture of him that has stuck with them. And if it’s up to him, that’s the picture that will remain, they won’t see him like this, this new him won’t replace the old him in their mind. He’d do anything to make sure of it.

That being said, you can imagine the massive shock and mini heart attack he experienced one day when his motion detectors picked up on someone entering the factory in broad daylight. Rushing to the camera display, the briefest glimpse was enough to make out who this foolish person looking for their death was. 

Goddammit, Y/N!

It was no longer a danger to his sanity, their presence at the factory was an even worse danger for them. His creations wouldn’t think twice about slicing their tiny frame in half with their implemented chainsaws, designed to do exactly what he’s hoping they won’t get the chance to do this time. Running to the elevator, all he can do is silently pray he reaches them before they come across one of his minions.

What he’s going to say to them? How he’s gonna greet them? He hasn’t got the slightest clue, all he knows is that he has to get to them asap.

Running out of the elevator once it settles on the ground floor, he almost crashes directly into them, eyes wide with shock as the adrenaline is still pumping throughout his body despite the immense amount of relief he feels wash over him. He doesn’t notice at first, but when he does his heart sinks: their gaze is empty and their face unreadable. He can’t bear to have them looking at him like that, it hurts more than physically hitting him. Hell, it hurts more than the experiments Miranda did to him.

“How’d you find me?“ He decides to end the silence for his sanity’s sake, his heart heavy and aching in his chest.

They shrug, “Wasn’t easy, I’ll have to admit, you’ve trained the villagers well, none of em wanted to give me even a clue.“ They give him a small smile before looking around at the factory walls and everything lining them, “And then I put it together on my own. It was a bit of a stretch...“ they trail off, their eyes scanning him from head to toe, “...but I see it was a lucky one.“

He can’t help but huff, more out of disgust for himself than anything else, “If you call this lucky you’ve gotta have a few screws loose.”

Much to his surprise, this remark earns him a genuine, wholehearted laugh from Y/N, “Oh Karl, didn’t you pick up on my loose screws back when we first met? That’s odd, people usually take one look and can already tell.”

He scoffs, letting a small smile slip onto his face before he chases it away, forcing himself to maintain the seriousness, “I can’t believe how foolish you are. Didn’t you, even for a second, think there was maybe a good reason why people didn’t want to give you my whereabouts?”

“Oh I didn’t need to think about it!“ They say, lifting a pointer finger in the air as if to emphasize their point, “They were pretty clear when they were calling you stuff like ‘monster’ and ‘cruel Lord’ or whatever.“

Heisenberg’s eyes widen in an instant, “So you knew? You knew I was...I wouldn’t be the same as you remember me?” He asks, his jaw almost reaching the floor.

They nod nonchalantly, “I mean, I was sure of that part, it’s been half a decade, after all. Of course, I didn’t expect such a drastic change but it changes nothing. The villagers made it all sound super scary and dramatic...”

Karl doesn’t get confused often. However, right now, they’ve got him completely flabbergasted. “You were told about me...about me being what I am and you still showed up and walked into this place everyone fears like you own it? Where the fuck is your self-preservation instinct?!”

With an eye-roll, Y/N pushes past him, entering the elevator and walks over to the buttons to choose a floor, “Up your ass, Heisenberg. Right next to the stick that’s got you in such a foul mood. Is this how you welcome back an old friend?” Though the words themselves were harsh, they spoke them in such a way and with a sincere look in their eyes that they had the complete opposite effect of what they’d usually have. Hell, he wants to laugh at the vocabulary on its own, it’s so refreshing to hear someone use those terms and speak so freely around him, unfazed by his powers. To be fair, they’re probably not even aware he has any.

Looking at them now, their intense gaze telling him loud and clear that they’re completely unfazed, has him going soft. They’re still his connection to the humanity he’s lost, he’s still clinging onto it thanks to them. And while he still believes he doesn’t deserve to preserve any last piece of it, he’s glad that he’s not the judge of that. The punishment is not his to decide. It’s theirs. And who knows, allowing him to keep a tiny fragment of his humanity may be the ultimate punishment but he doesn’t know it yet. Regardless, he’s happy with it as long as it means he has them by his side to carry said punishment out.

When all they get in response to their words is a laugh they too let a smile lighten up their features, “There you go, knock some humor into you.” They turn to look at the buttons briefly before locking their gaze onto him once again, “I like what you did with the place. Care to show me around?”

He shakes his head as his laughter dies down, “You won’t like it.”

Y/N rolls their eyes yet again, “Leave that up for me to decide, old man.”

A frown comes across Heisenberg’s face, “Old man? How dare you?”

The sound of their laughter almost manages to wipe the frown off his face. Almost. “Old man who can pull off even a century old dog tag necklace.” They say, sizing up the necklace resting over his chest which he automatically reaches out to touch as a result of her remark. “You can keep it, by the way. I don’t need it back. I’ll be sticking around for some time after all.”

Before he can even process what they said, they’ve pulled him into the elevator and pressed the button for the top floor, looking out of the open side of it to be able to see the inside of the factory as the metal box keeps climbing, carrying them with it. Their back is turned to him so he can’t see the look on their face but he can only hope it’s not one of horror or disgust. If he were to receive that look from them his heart would shatter on the spot. So he’d rather they don’t turn around - both for him not to be able to see them grimacing and so they can’t see him staring at them with that look in his eyes.

Look of adoration he’s never given anyone before nor will he ever give to anyone else. And so, all the pieces of his soul have found their proper spots.

Thanks to Y/N.

Finally, you’re back.

[seijorhi]

Home

A/N It’s finally finished!! This is super self indulgent and something I’ve been wanting to write for a long, long time. Anyway, hope you guys like it!

Oikawa Tooru x Female Reader

TW Dub-con, drug use, Stockholm syndrome, unhealthy relationships, nsfw, smut

You watch idly from the balcony of your penthouse suite as the storm rolls through.

It’s pouring torrentially, the night sky lit with flashes of crackling lightning and the thunder rumbling so loudly that you feel the reverberations in your chest. A summer storm to rival the best of them. Furious and violent. It’ll last twenty minutes maybe and then peter off into nothing but a drizzle. 

You don’t get storms like this back home.

The thought leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

Home. 

The little villa in the valley. Beautiful and airy, set amongst the stunning backdrop of  vineyards and mountains - a breathtaking, gilded cage built just for you. A gift, he’d said, carrying you across the threshold.

When had that become home?

Another fork of lightning cracks through the inky black sky, close enough that you feel the lingering charge of static electricity hanging in the air around you. The night is balmy - pleasant even, despite the storm - but a chill runs through you all the same, goosebumps dotting the bare skin of your arms. You haven’t changed out of the long, teal silk dress he’d chosen for you. The nude Louboutin heels were kicked off somewhere near the door, your pretty necklace and the pins from your hair tossed carelessly aside on the glass table. You’d meant to come back to the room and take a long, calming shower, but somehow you’d found yourself here instead - sitting on the balcony with your arms wrapped loosely around your knees, staring at the city below you.

Buenos Aires. The last time you were here was years ago, and only for a night. Back then it hadn’t been a fancy hotel suite you’d been staying at, but a run down little motel room in downtown. God, you’d been so scared, clinging to him all night, afraid to let him go for even a second.

Some things don’t change, you suppose.

You’d begged for this, but not because you had any real desire to come back to the city you have nothing bad memories of. Not because, as Oikawa had suggested, cooing at you between soft, indulgent kisses, you couldn’t bear to be apart from him, but because the thought of being trapped alone in that house for a week was more than you could take. 

You thought you’d wanted this. 

There were conditions of course. None that had to be spoken, but you understood them well enough. You thought you’d pay anything. Let Oikawa take what he liked, pretend that you wanted it too. Lavish him in love and affection until he was drowning in it. Let him drape himself over you, tug you from event to event never letting you out of his sight.

Anything to get out of that house.

The game had been overwhelming, to say the least. Sitting front row, watching him play, it brought back memories from high school. He was incredible, you’ve known that since the beginning, but to see how he’s grown… volleyball has always been the only thing he’s cared about. Well, volleyball and you.

You still remember that insecure boy you’d fallen in love with, so worried that no matter how hard he tried, he’d forever be in the shadows of geniuses. 

How far you’ve both come.

When that final point was scored and the stadium erupted in a roaring cheers the tears that welled in your eyes hadn’t been of happiness, or nostalgia, but an ache so deep in your heart that it felt like somebody was slowly cleaving you in two. And his eyes had swept across the room to find yours, an elated grin on his face, and suddenly it’d felt like you couldn’t breathe.

Then came the after party. They’d won the national championship - celebrating the end of the season and their landslide victory, well that was a given. And you have beautiful clothes at home, expensive jewellery that would make a lot of women green with envy, but you so rarely get to go out anymore. 

You knew that he wouldn’t let you stray from his side. That every word you spoke would be under careful scrutiny - not that you could speak much Spanish to begin with. 

But you hadn’t cared. 

It was the most freedom he’d given you in years.

Nerves had eaten away at your stomach as you stepped out in the flowing silk number he’d picked just for tonight, but neither that nor the positively wicked glint in Oikawa’s eyes as he gave you a leisurely once over had been enough to dampen the small, excited smile on your face.

The hotel ballroom was filled to the brim with athletes and socialites. The music was loud, hypnotic, the pulse of the beat echoing deep inside of your chest. Champagne was free flowing, and it wasn’t long before champagne turned into liquor shots and whiskey, but with Oikawa’s arm curled snugly around your lower back, you nursed your own drink slowly. 

Getting drunk would’ve been… a bad idea.

He, on the other hand, had no issues knocking back drink after drink as he swept through the room, chatting with whomever seemed to catch his eye. You recognised his teammates of course, a few of their partners, but the rest were veritable strangers. So many people packed so close. After months of isolation, it was disorienting to say the least.

You’d simply stuck by Oikawa’s side, smiling and nodding politely while he’d spoken for the both of you. Yet you could feel the eyes that followed you from across the room. They weren’t malicious - well, you didn’t think they were (these people didn’t know you, so how could they possibly hate you?) - but curious. Ill intentioned or not, the stares hadn’t exactly put you at ease.

Of course Oikawa had noticed.

“Ignore them, cutie,” he’d whispered in your ear, noticing the tense set of your shoulders, the telling flush in your cheek. “Come dance with me.”

And you’d let him tug you into the heaving crowd, pulling you close and letting his hands settle on your hips as the two of you moved in time with the beat. Dancing was probably the wrong word for it, but Oikawa had hardly cared, his lips finding your neck, sucking bruising kisses into the tender skin while you tried to lose yourself to the music.

It was what you’d wanted. A night of freedom, of drinking and dancing and other people - a reprieve from the oppressive isolation of home.

Now that you had it at your fingertips… it felt wrong. 

Stifling. 

But you’d held it together just fine until Oikawa had winked and slipped from your side to visit the men’s room. 

Without the safety of his presence to cling to, all of a sudden you’d floundered.

Like a tidal wave you couldn’t stop all of that panic and unease that had been eating away at you bit by bit over the past few days of this trip rose up and crashed over you, obliterating any semblance of control you had. 

It was all too much. 

The stares, the music, the drinking, the raucous chatter. The room was too hot and there were too many people, all of them strangers, and you’d felt so out of place, not just because you were foreign but because you didn’t belong here, and as tears had started welling up in your eyes and you’d squeezed them shut, all you could think about was that you so desperately wanted to be home.

Strong, familiar arms had enveloped you a split second later and you hated yourself for the sigh of relief you breathed as you’d all but collapsed against him.

You hadn’t fought it when he’d pulled back just far enough to kiss you. Not a chaste peck, but a searing, open mouthed affair that had you breathless, flushed and dizzy. You could taste the mint and tequila on his tongue, the familiar taste of him beneath that. You’d clung to it like a life raft, letting it centre you, calm your racing heart. 

When he’d broken it, he’d stared at you for a long moment, his thumb easing over the apple of your cheek, taking with it the stray tear that had spilled. “It’s too much, isn’t it?” he’d surmised, and wordlessly, you’d nodded.

Oikawa had just sighed, letting you clutch at his jacket as he stroked your back soothingly. “Do you want to leave, baby? Go back upstairs to the room?” 

And you might have believed the worry leaching into his tone if not for the sick satisfaction glinting in those deep brown eyes, hiding behind the concerned veneer he’d perfected so well. But like a cat toying with its prey, even he couldn’t hide the faint hint of a smirk that had curled across his lips as the hand on your lower back dipped, coming to rest on the curve of your ass.

All that relief you’d felt quickly turned cold and bitter in your stomach.

As if you’d been stung, you yanked yourself free from his grip. “Don’t touch me,” you’d hissed, glaring up at him before stalking for the wide double doors.

And he’d watched you go, amusement dancing across his pretty face.

Thunder rumbles, and you rub absentmindedly at your bare arms. You have no one and nothing but him, he’s done everything in his power to make damn sure of it. You can’t remember the last time you spoke to your parents, your old friends from high school have long since given up on trying to reach out to you. 

He was gone for a few fucking minutes and you-

You fell apart.

Completely.

Utterly.

When you’d shut your eyes, it hadn’t been the villa in San Juan you’d thought of, or the old apartment you’d lived in with your family back in Miyagi - you’d thought of chestnut brown eyes and the warmth of his chest pressed up against your back in the early hours of the morning. You’d thought of lazy kisses, the soft, indulgent smile he’d grace you with when he came home every night. 

You’d thought of him. 

While you sit, curled up on the balcony like a frightened child, the storm around you continues to rage around you. 

You should hate him. 

You do hate him.

He’s a selfish, arrogant piece of shit who dragged you thousands of miles away from your home to a foreign country and locked you away from the world because he believed his love for you was more important than whatever fucking dreams you might have had.

And you’d been blind and stupid and young and you’d let him.

You’d let Oikawa take and take and take until he was the only thing you had left. 

It’s your own fault as much as it is his, you suppose. If you hadn’t been so naive, so trusting of the boy you loved, maybe you might have noticed the monster hiding beneath Oikawa’s pretty smiles and prettier word sooner.

Not that it matters anymore. You are where you are - there’s no chain around your ankle, nothing stopping you from walking out that door and not looking back. 

You could leave, if you really wanted to.

But where would you go?

Your passport is back home, hundreds of miles away, locked away in a safe protected by a combination you don’t know. And even if it wasn’t, you’d had to give up your citizenship when you’d both become naturalised here. You can’t just fly back to Japan and try to pick up where you left off all those years ago. 

That life doesn’t exist anymore.

You have no money of your own. You could try and pawn your jewellery, the glittering diamond wedding bands and the necklace he’d gifted you earlier, but how far would that money take you? What are you supposed to do when it runs dry? Find a job? It should be easy when you have no skills, no experience and you can’t speak the language.

You don’t have friends or family here, nobody to shelter you while you figured everything out. It’s not safe for you to be out there on your own. You have no home but the one he’s given you.

You’re the wife of Oikawa Tooru, starting setter for the national volleyball team. You can’t just up and disappear into thin air here.

And you know deep in your heart that even if you try, he won’t ever let you. Oikawa would follow you to the ends of the earth if only to drag you back with him.

Amidst the pouring rain and the rumbling thunder, you don’t hear the door to your hotel room open, nor the sound of your husband shedding his jacket and tie, tossing them carelessly over the loveseat as he approaches.

“Did you enjoy yourself tonight, baby?” he croons, coming up to lean over the back of your seat. 

Swallowing tersely, you opt to ignore him. 

He hums lightly, unperturbed by your silence and continues, “I certainly did, though I would have preferred it if my lovely wife hadn’t abandoned me halfway though.”

You’re intent on ignoring him and the pouting tone, but long, pale fingers coax your head back. Dark, glittering eyes meet yours, irises almost swallowed by dilated pupils. His nose twitches, a telling little sniffle as he grins widely down at you.

Your heart lurches, “Tooru, what-”

He’s quick to silence any protests with a kiss, his tongue greedily sliding between your parted lips. 

You could fight it. You have before - kicking and screaming, lashing out with sharp nails and biting insults - except you both know how that ends. Tooru always gets what he wants in the end.

You’re tired.

So fucking tired. 

His hand, warm and eager slides down the column of your throat, dipping under the low silk neckline of your dress to cup your breast as he circles around you. 

He’s usually a talker whenever he’s trying to fuck you, but as your husband stares at you with those dilated eyes, breathing deeply, all he offers is a surprisingly husky, ���Beautiful.”

Even after all that’s happened between you two, it never fails to make your cheeks warm.

He wastes no time in dropping to his knees and prying your legs apart so that he can settle between them. Your dress is in the way so he grabs at the hem and yanks, ignoring your indignant protests as the silk fabric gives all too easily.

“I’ll buy you another,” he mutters distractedly, and your black lace panties (another gift) follow suit. 

You’re not given a moment's reprieve before your calves are thrown over his broad shoulders and Oikawa’s tongue is delving between your warm folds.

Lightning flashes overhead as your back arches up and your hands find purchase in his soft brunette locks. It’s not particularly refined, the way he eats you out, alternating between long, teasing strokes along your pussy and toying with your clit - sucking on it, letting the tip of his tongue flick across the sensitive bud until you’re squirming beneath him - before finally giving you what you want. When his tongue slips into the warm, slick walls of your cunt you can’t help the breathy moan that leaves your lips.

And when he starts to fuck you with it, your hands tighten in his hair and you jerk him closer, hips bucking up to meet his fervent touch. But it’s the sight of those hungry eyes, staring intently up at you from between your thighs as you moan and writhe that pushes you over the edge entirely, cumming with a cry that’s swallowed by the storm still raging around you.

He doesn’t let up for a moment, his grip on your thighs tightening (there’ll definitely be bruises tomorrow) and lapping at your juices while you ride out your orgasm on his face.

But you’re not so naive to think that it’s over as he pulls away, wiping off the spit and slick shining on his jaw with the back of his hand. Neither of you say anything as he gently pulls you to your feet, discarding the ruined remains of your dress without a care.

He fucks you on the balcony, your back pushed up against the wall, your legs wrapped around his waist. You tune out the breathless, adoring whispers and moans at your ear, losing yourself entirely to the sensation of his cock stretching you out so deliciously, the way each stabbing thrust hit that perfect spot deep inside of you.

It’s easy to pretend that it’s only physical when he’s like this. 

With your head thrown back, eyes squeezed shut and your bottom lip caught between your teeth you cum for the second time around his cock. He follows a split second later, choking out your name like a prayer.

“I love you,” he gasps, stealing your lips once more.

It’s hours later, after the storm has passed and you’re lying exhausted and entwined in bed, your head resting against his bare chest that you begin to wonder when exactly Oikawa had become home for you.

[piastrams]

Heartless - Chapter 2

All your comments on this made me so happy hehe 😈

When he woke up, Lorcan didn’t fully felt like himself. Something felt off. It was like a wall had been erected in his mind. He could sense it, feel the shape of it, the wrongness of it. But he couldn’t understand what it was.

Lorcan sat up, looking around the room to find something unusual. But everything was as it was before he left for his last mission. He remembered now, making it into his private chambers late last night, and barely undressing before crashing in his bed. He couldn’t seem to grasp what the mission had been, but Lorcan wasn’t too worried. He had trouble with memories. Ever since Essar, Lorcan had gotten used to his brain repressing a lot of his life. And it was better that way, he guessed, less suffering. It got him able to focus on his missions, and his missions only. The rest wasn’t important.

The only important thing in his life had been Essar, and she was no more. To this day still, Lorcan could barely bear to think of her. It was like a part of his soul was ripped out, again and again, everytime he remembered how he had been too late from the fatal blow the Fire Queen had dealt her.

Essar had been his heart, and she’d been taken from him.

***

Elide woke up deliciously numb. She stretched, not yet opening her eyes. It was a shame that Lorcan was already out of bed, though it wasn’t unusual. She knew he was probably already up and running, maybe making her breakfast. Her man always had trouble staying still. If she was lucky, she knew she’d be able to lure him back to bed.

It was with only this thought in mind that she made her way to the kitchen. She was still sleepy, and she could tell her brain wasn’t out of its morning fog yet. She needed tea to help with it.

So to say it was a surprise to see Hellas and Anneith in her kitchen instead of her mate was an understatement. It was then that she remembered yesterday’s events.

She remembered coming home, only to see Maeve smirking at her and taking Lorcan away. Elide had understood the scene she’d stumble upon. That Lorcan had sworn the blood oath. But she couldn’t understand why exactly he did that.

The despair she felt at the memories knocked her off her feet, and as she was falling, Hellas sent a rush of his power to cushion her fall. His power though, was so similar to Lorcan’s, that Elide recoiled. Her mate wasn’t here, and it wasn’t his dark smoke preventing her from falling.

“Do not touch me,” she hissed.

As soon as the words were said, Hellas’ power retracted from her. Elide sat on her kitchen floor, not being able to detangle all her feelings. The despair, the hurt, the pain, the confusion.

It was Anneith who broke the silence first. “He’s okay, Elide.”

Elide let out a joyless laugh, and got up. “He’s okay? Are you being serious right now?” Her voice was rising with each word, black flames popping around her. Her magic had always reacted to her temper. “How dare you tell me he’s okay when he’s being held against his will by her?” Elide couldn’t even say the queen’s name.

“She sent a message. She bewitched him and made him forget everything that happened since Essar’s death.”

Elide stopped breathing for a second. Essar and Lorcan had been two halves of a whole, warriors trained together from their childhood.

And so when she fell in battle, a part of Lorcan had died with her.

Elide had met him a few years after that, had seen how much work he’d put into going back to himself.

“She wants us to give her the Wyrd Keys in exchange for him.”

“So give her the fucking keys.”

Hellas sighed. “It’s more complicated than that.”

Elide exploded, feeling a mess, barely controlling her power. Black fire was curling up the walls of her home. Not burning it, just enough to scare the Gods in front of her. The fire encircling them was hot, reminding them that she, too, was powerful.

Immediately, a wall of white fog came from Anneith, shielding her and her husband.

“Step down.” There was an order in the voice Anneith had used. A direct one. And maybe for the first time in her life, Elide disobeyed.

“You do not get to tell me to step down when my mate is being held hostage, and in mortal danger, when you two are sitting on your asses and doing nothing.”

Hellas gasped in offense. Elide threw him a death glare.

“Lorcan saved your life more times than you can count. He did everything you asked of him. And yet, you’re not doing anything to help him.”

“We risk war, Elide.”

“Fuck war,” she cried out. “We won once, we’ll win again.”

“We can’t risk our kingdom for him.”

And so, as she took off the delicate necklace that was binding her to Anneith, all Elide said was “watch me.”

tagged: @stardustsroses s @the-regal-warrior @nalgenewhore @dawninlatin @highqueenofelfhame @sleeping-and-books  @queen-of-glass s @wifeofchrishemsworth @yikesitsmaddie @whydoineedtowriteanamehere @starbornelleth @awesomelena555 @fireheartdreamerstarborn @acourtofabsandillyrians @maastrash @bookishwitchling @sayosdreams @rockgirl321 @iammissstark @agem10 @noodlecatposts @sanakapoor @se-ono-waise-ilia @notyournymphetish @grace-k-sterling @silentquartz @eleonor-da-silva @cristinaid28 @rowanisahunk @ireallyshouldsleeprn @louiseleblancdiggory @shyvioletcat @thewayshedreamed @featherymalignancy @claralady @julemmaes @darklesmylove @city-of-fae @rowaelinismyotp @firestarsandseneschals @empress-ofbloodshed @live-the-fangirl-life @swankii-art-teacher

[babypandawrites]

Allies, Pt. 6

The Fortune Teller

Pairing: Sokka x F Reader Warnings: None Word Count: 4,530 Summary: Meeting Aunt Wu and getting your fortune told by her definitely does not make you come to any realizations at the end of the day. None at all. 

-Navigation- | -Allies Masterlist- | -Atla Masterlist- 

Sitting a bit away from the rest of the group, Y/n leaned her back against a rock settled on the lake shore. She held a small handmade leather bound journal in her hands, finger tips tracing along the cover. She hummed to herself, squinting at the cover. “Maybe just a small peak…”  “Look!”  Her head snapped up, looking at the others, then looking in the direction Katara had been pointing. She’d been pointing out to the water, where a green catfish jumped from the water before landing back in it. Y/n tucked the journal away.  “He is taunting us… You are so going to be dinner!” As Sokka ran to get his fishing pole, she got up and joined the group.  Sokka tried to cast the pole a few times, but nothing happened. “Hey! Where’s the fishing line.”  “Oh, I didn’t think you would need it, Sokka.” Aang held up the fishing line, it had been twisted into something.  “Aang, it’s all tangled!” “Not tangled- woven .” He airbended a gust of air to push him to his feet, and turned to Katara. “I made you a necklace, Katara. I thought since you lost your other one…” Trailing off, he smiled sheepishly and held out the homemade necklace to Katara. She took it from him.  “Thanks, Aang. I love it.”  Y/n got her bow from where it sat next to the tent, and pulled an arrow from the quiver before joining Sokka at the shore line. He had tossed his fishing pole into the water like a spear, only for it to disappear.  “Stop taunting me!”  She looked at him with an amused expression. “Sokka, I can catch-” Holding up his hand he cut her off. “No! No, I got this.” He drew out his knife, and lunged into the water, trying to catch the fish with it. Her and Aang both watched his antics in amusement.  “So, how do I look?”  Y/n turned back to look at Katara. The girl had put on the necklace Aang gave her, and while Y/n was pretty sure the question hadn’t been directed at her, she still gave her a thumbs up.  “You mean all of you or just your neck? I mean, uh, both look great.”  She raised her eyebrows at Aang. That kid was not very good at hiding his crush. Sokka got out of the lake, holding the fish he had caught as if about to kiss it.  “Smoochie, smoochie, someone’s in love.” The fish flipped around in his hands, knocking him back into the lake and earning a laugh from Y/n.  Aang rubbed at his head in an embarrassed manner. “I… well…”  “Stop teasing him, Sokka.” Katara gave her brother an annoyed look. “Aang’s just a good friend. A sweet little guy- just like Momo.”  “Thanks.” He was clearly put down by her words.  Y/n rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, as a soaking wet Sokka approached the group. He was empty handed, and looked quite upset about it.

At a sound in the distance, Momo flew off in it’s direction. Aang used his airbending to join the lemur atop a large rock. He pointed to the source of the noise. “Someone’s being attacked by a platypus bear!” He jumped off the rock, presumably down to where the attack was taking place.  Sokka and Katara ran off in the direction Aang pointed, as Y/n grabbed her quiver to put on her back, before quickly joining them. The three joined Aang, as a man calmly dodged attacks from the platypus bear. Aang, Katara and Sokka were trying to give advice to the man about how to evade the bear, but he brushed them off, claiming everything would be fine. Appa ended up scaring the platypus bear by roaring at it, not only making it run away but also making it drop an egg.  Sokka went to pick up the egg. “Mmm! Lunch!” He sniffed the egg, before looking at the man. “Lucky for you we came along.”  “Thanks, but everything was already under control. Not to worry, Aunt Wu predicted I’d have a safe journey.” The man put his hands together in a position of prayer and bowed slightly.  “Aunt who?” Aang questioned.  “No, Aunt Wu. She’s the fortune teller from my village. Awfully nice knowing your future.”  Katara looked amazed. “Wow, it must be. That explains why you were so calm.”  “But the fortune teller was wrong! You didn’t have a safe journey, you were almost killed.” “I think us showing up is what made it a safe journey actually, Sokka.”  “The girl has a point. All right, have a good one!” The man gave a wave goodbye to the group, and began walking away, but he turned back again. “Oh, and Aunt Wu said if I met any travelers to give them this.” He handed Aang a long, thin wrapped object and walked away.  “Maybe we should go see Aunt Wu and learn our fortunes. It could be fun.” Katara looked between her friends as she spoke her suggestion.  Sokka waved off his sister's suggestion. “Oh come on, fortune telling is nonsense.”  Glancing between the two siblings, Y/n offered a small shrug. “Even if it is nonsense, it could still be fun.”  “See! Y/n gets it! Kinda.”  “What do ya know, an umbrella!” The three looked over to Aang, who had unwrapped the wrapped up object, which was clearly an umbrella. The sky abruptly darkened as rain began to pour down. Katara smiled, and waterbended the rain into an arch above her head to avoid getting wet. “That proves it.” She ran to join Aang under the opened umbrella.  Y/n found herself joining the two, trying to fit under the umbrella space as well. Sokka held the egg above his head. “No it doesn’t, you can’t really tell the future.” “I guess you’re not really getting wet then.” 

The four walked down the road. Aang, Katara and Y/n were dry under the umbrella while Sokka was getting soaking again from walking in the rain.  “Of course she predicted it was gonna rain. The sky’s been gray all day.”  “Just admit you might be wrong and you can come under the umbrella.”  Y/n nodded at Katara’s words. “The umbrella life is pretty nice, I really recommend it.”  He looked at them blankly. “Look, I’m going to predict the future now.” Sokka made a bunch of funny movements and noises, before speaking in an exaggerated voice.. “It’s going to keep drizzling.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “See!” The rain instantly stopped, and the sun came out.  “Not everyone has the gift, Sokka.” Aang closed the umbrella as he spoke.  Appa came up on the group, passing Sokka, he shook out his fur causing the boy to be drenched more. 

Soon, they came across a village sat atop a snowy mountain. When they entered through the gates of the village a herald dressed in black greeted them.  “Aunt Wu is expecting you.”  “Really?” Though it was something simple, it still seemed to amaze Katara in a way.  The group followed the man as he led them to a building, closing the door once all four were inside. There were four sitting pillows placed on the ground. A young girl dressed in a pink kimono with her hair tied into large braids entered the room.  “My name is Meng and I’m Aunt Wu’s assistant.” The girl seemed to take a quick interest in Aang. “Well hello there.”  He rubbed his nose. “Hello.”  Y/n took a seat on one of the pillows, Aang and Katara joining her.  “Can I get you some tea, or some of Aunt Wu’s special bean curd puffs?”  Sokka sat down as well. “I’ll try a curd puff.”  “Just a second.” Meng bent down to address Aang. “So what’s your name?”  “Aang.” “That rhymes with Meng! And you’ve got some pretty big ears, don’t you?”  “Uh… I guess..” Aang seemed confused, rightfully so.  “Oh, don’t be so modest. They’re huge!” Sokka spread out his arms wide.  Y/n elbowed him in the side, as Aang looked at him angrily.  “Well Aang, it is very nice to meet you. Very nice.”  “Likewise.”  Meng exited the room, leaving the four by themselves.  “I can’t believe we’re here in the house of nonsense.”  “Try to keep an open mind, Sokka. There are things in this world that just can’t be explained. Wouldn’t it be nice to have some insight into your future?”  “It would be nice to have some bean curd puffs.”  Katara seemed annoyed by her brother, and his disbelief. Y/n rested her chin in her hands, and looked over to her.  “You really believe in this stuff don’t you, Katara?”  “You don’t?” She offered a small shrug. “Not particularly. It’s just assumptions and intuition.”  Katara looked at her with a blank expression. “You really agree with Sokka?”  “I don’t think it’s nonsense.” “But, you don’t believe in it?”  “I just don’t think it’s some magical ability, there’s logic set behind it that mostly consists of guesses.”  As Katara rolled her eyes, a woman walked into the room. “Welcome young travelers.” This must be Aunt Wu. “Now, who’s next? Don’t be shy.”  Aang, Y/n and Sokka all being disinterested, Katara stood up. “I guess that’s me.”  She walked away following Aunt Wu into another room. Sokka was chowing down on the curd puffs they were given.  “Not bad. Not bad. Mmmm!” He offered some to Aang, who declined. Y/n grabbed one from the tray when he offered them to her. Her nose wrinkled when he tried it, they weren’t really her cup of tea.  Aang looked between the two. “So… what do you think they’re talking about back there?”  “Boring stuff, I’m sure. Love. Who she’s going to marry. How many babies she’s gonna have.” Sokka shrugged as he spoke, eating another curd puff.  “Yeah… dumb stuff like that…” Aang bit at his fingernails. “Well, I’ve gotta find a bathroom!” He jumped up and ran off.  Y/n raised an eyebrow. “What’s his deal?”  Sokka stretched out over Aang and Katara’s pillows. “Probably going to listen to my sisters dumb palm reading.” “Makes sense.” 

After a few minutes Aang came back, clearly pleased by whatever he heard. “Looks like someone had a pretty good bathroom break.” “Yeah, when I was in there-” Sokka cut him off. “I don’t wanna know!”  Aunt Wu and Katara walked back out. The woman looked between the three. “Who’s next?”  “Okay, let’s get this over with.” Sokka pushed himself to his feet.  “Your future is full of struggle and anguish, most of it self-inflicted.”  “But, you didn’t read my palms or anything!” “I don’t need to- It’s written all over your face.”  Y/n held back a laugh. “Um, I can go.”  Aunt Wu looked over her for a short moment, before nodding. “Follow me.”  She got up from her seat, and followed the woman off into the room Katara had been in prior. The two sat down across from each other. Aunt Wu carefully grabbed onto her hand, and looked over her palm.  “Is there anything you’d like to know?”  “Uh…” Y/n thought for a short moment. “I’m.. not sure?”  “How about we take a look at your love line.”  “Alright.”  The woman traced her finger tip along her palm. “You will have a difficult and tragic love. Many things will go wrong, and there is no guarantee of reconciliation.”  She grimaced. “That sounds…”  “Horrible? It will be.”  “Um… Is there anything else you're seeing..?”  Aunt Wu hummed for a short moment. “I can see… where your soulmate is from. The Water Tribe.”  “Wa-Water Tribe..? Southern or Northern?!”  “That I don’t know. Though I can see you will care for several children in your future.”  “Oh. Can you.. See anything about my future in general?”  “Let’s see… Things will get worse, before they get better. Secrets will only harm you in the long run.”  She gulped.  “That is all.” 

After Aang’s reading, the group left.  “Well, now you got to see for yourselves that fortunetelling is just a big, stupid hoax.”  Katara rolled her eyes at her brother. “You’re just saying that because you’re going to make yourself unhappy your whole life.” “That woman is crazy! My life will be calm! And happy! And joyful!” Sokka got more upset with each word he spoke. He kicked a small rock off the ground, causing it to ricochet off a nearby sigh and hit him on the head knocking him back. “Ow! That doesn’t prove anything!” Y/n helped him off the ground. “If talking to that woman told me anything, it’s that she’s speaking nonsense.”  “You just didn’t like what you were told.”  She looked at Katara with a blank expression. “Clearly.” Her tone was sarcastic.  “Well, I liked my predictions. Certain things are going to turn out very well.” Katara clasped her hands together.  “They sure are.”  “Why, what did she tell you?”  Aang offered a smile to Katara. “Some stuff. You’ll find out.”  They all approach a large crowd that’s gathered at the center of the village square. Most of the people in the crowd stood in silence, looking up at the sky.  Katara looked up as well. “What’s with the sky?” “We are waiting for Aunt Wu to come and read the clouds to predict the fate of the whole village.” One of the men in the crowd offered the answer.  “The whole village?” Y/n looked at the man oddly when he nodded. “Interesting…” Weird stuff.  Aang pointed up. “That cloud looks like a fluffy bunny.” “You better hope that’s not a bunny- The fluffy bunny cloud forecast doom and destruction.”  “Do you even hear yourself?”  The man looked at Sokka with an annoyed expression. A woman from the crowd took a step towards them.  “The cloud reading will tell us if Mount Makapu will remain dormant for another year or if it will erupt.”  “We used to have a tradition once a year of going up the mountain to check the volcano ourselves, but ever since Aunt Wu moved to the village twenty years ago we have a tradition of not doing that.”  Sokka’s expression twisted to a mix of confusion and outrage. “I can’t believe you would trust your lives to that crazy old woman’s superstition.”  “Seriously…”  Katara shushed the two. “She’s coming!”  Aunt Wu walked down and through the crowd, getting up to the stage that had been set up. She gave out several predictions, all of which pleased the village members to hear, one of which included that the volcano would not erupt this year.”  Scoffing, Sokka gently elbowed Y/n in the side. “You think she’s crazy too, right?”  “Well,” Pausing, she turned her head to look at him. Your soulmate is from the Water Tribe. “Yeah, definitely. She’s talking nonsense.” She breathed out a nervous laugh. “I’m gonna go see what Katara is up to uh- See you later!”  Y/n turned fast on her heel and rushed off. 

Arms crossed over her chest, Y/n paced in the space in front of Appa. The bison was laying on the ground, just outside the village gates. He let out a grunt. She halted in her steps, looking over to him.  “You’re right, I’m stressing out about this way too much. I mean, why am I even freaking out? Aunt Wu’s predictions are just nonsense, right? You think they’re nonsense too don’t you, Appa?”  Her eyebrows furrowed together as he grunted. “No, they have to be nonsense. There’s no way that Sokka could be my soulmate, that’s ridiculous. Right?”  Appa gave another grunt, she frowned. “You’re not making me feel better here, Appa.”  Sighing, she began pacing again. “Maybe I should talk to her again? I know, I know, I said her prediction’s are nonsense, but in the case they aren’t … She didn’t tell me if my soulmate was from the Southern Water Tribe or the Northern Water Tribe, if I get another reading maybe she can pick that up…”  The bison grunted again, causing Y/n to look at him with an offended expression. “You could at least pretend to agree with me! This is why I take my issues to Momo, he’s much better at this than you!” Pausing she reached a hand out and patted his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. You’re definitely the better advice animal, Appa. You’re right, I’m just being crazy, it doesn’t matter. Thanks for the help Appa, I’m gonna go find the others now.”  As she walked back into the village, Y/n scoffed. “I’m being crazy? Ridiculous, Appa is clearly the crazy one here…”  Approaching Aunt Wu’s house, Y/n gave Aang a confused stare as he shouted something at a walking away Katara.  “You good there bud?”  Surprised by her sudden appearance, Aang jumped slightly. “Huh- Yeah. I’m fine.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you okay, Y/n? You were acting kind of weird earlier.” “Wh-! I was not acting weird. I don’t act weird!” She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You’re acting weird!”  “Uh-huh… You’re not here to get another reading, are you? Didn’t you say Aunt Wu was speaking nonsense?”  Gulping, she looked to the side nervously. “I’m not! And she is!” As if on cue, the front door was opened, Aunt Wu standing on the other side. “I knew you would be coming back eventually.”  Aang gave her a look.  “Shut up.” Y/n turned quickly, and shuffled into the building.  “You would like for your question from before to be answered, is that right?” Aunt Wu asked, as the two entered her fortune telling room.  “Well uh-” Y/n breathed out a sigh, looking to the ground shamefully. “Yeah.”  The woman led her over to an urn, it had been filled with bones. “Let’s try something else this time, pick one.” She motioned to the urn.  Y/n looked at it for a moment, before picking one. They sat down, and she threw the bone into the fire when Aunt Wu instructed her too. The bone started to crack, small gaps forming in it. “Let’s see what it says.” Aunt Wu leaned closer to the fire, observing them. “The answer to your question, I’m still not seeing. But I can see that you will reunite with a family member soon.”  “You’re sure? There’s nothing about it at all?”  Another crack formed in the bone. “Ah… here it is. He will be from the Southern Tribe.”  “The Southern Tribe…” Y/n was quick to push herself up to her feet. “I see well uh- thank you.” She bolted out of the house, uttering a quick apology to Katara when she shoved past her.  Yeah, no. That woman was crazy! That couldn’t be true, there was no way- Y/n grunted, as she aggressively ran into somebody. She stumbled a bit, but was able to steady herself.  “Ah- Sorry about t-” Realizing who she ran into, she’d cut herself off. “Oh wow, look at that, I have to go!” She turned and was ready to rush off, but a firm grip on her arm stopped her.  “Woah- Wait! We need to find Katara and warn everyone. The volcano is going to erupt.”  A very obvious wave of relief washed over her, as she turned to look at Sokka. “The volcano is going to erupt? So- Aunt Wu was wrong?”  Aang and Sokka shared a look, before both offered a nod in confirmation. She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thank spirits… I mean- Not about the volcano thing that’s really bad but the Aunt- You know what nevermind, we need to get going and warn everybody!”  As she started to walk away, Aang leaned closer to Sokka. “You think she’s acting weird, right?”  “Definitely.”  “Are you two coming or not?!” 

The three found Katara, waiting outside of Aunt Wu’s door, which wasn’t exactly a surprise to any of them.  Aang offered her a small wave of greeting. “Hi, Katara.”  “Can you believe she won’t let me in? And after all the business I’ve given her?”  Y/n raised an eyebrow at the girl. “But, she doesn’t even charge.”  “I know, but still.”  “Well, we have other things to worry about. Aunt Wu was wrong about the volcano.” Sokka stepped into the conversation, causing Katara to look at him with an expression of annoyance and doubt. “Sokka, you tried to convince me she was wrong before. It’s going to take an awful lot to change my min-”  She was cut off but the rumbling sound of the mountain erupting to life, smoke started to raise from the top of it.  “Oh no!”  The group rushed to the town square, to warn the villagers. They were able to get the villagers attention, and now stood with several people surrounding them.  “Everyone! That volcano is gonna blow any second. Aunt Wu was wrong!” Sokka tried to warn the crowd, but they didn’t seem to be buying it. “Yeah, yeah, we know you don’t believe in Aunt Wu, ‘Mr, Science and Reason Lover’.”  Y/n let out a groan. “This isn’t about belief! It’s about fact, and the fact is that volcano is going to blow!” “Yeah, we know you don’t believe in Aunt Wu either.”  Slapping her palm to her forehead, she sighed. “These people are idiots.”  “If you won’t listen to them, maybe you’ll listen to me. I want to believe Aunt Wu and her predictions as you do, but my brother and Aang saw the lava with their own eyes.” The villagers didn’t even listen to Katara’s warning and reason.  “Well I heard Aunt Wu’s prediction with my own ears.”  Aang airbended himself up onto the roof of Aunt Wu’s house. “Please listen to us! You are all in danger! And we have to get out of here. You can’t rely on Aunt Wu’s prediction. You have to take fate into your own hands.”  An explosion came from the volcano, Sokka pointed in it’s direction. “Look! Can your fortune telling explain that?”  “Can your science explain why it rains?”  “Yes! Yes it can!”  The crowd wasn’t convinced, and ended up dispersing back to their homes. Y/n pinched the bridge of her nose as they left, shaking her head. Katara breathed out a sigh. “They just won’t listen to reason.”  “But they will listen to Aunt Wu.” Aang spoke up, landing back on the ground with them.  Sokka’s eyebrows furrowed together. “I know, that’s the problem.”  “Well, it’s about to become the solution. We’re taking fate in our own hands. First, I need to borrow Aunt Au’s cloud reading book.” 

With the plan set, they each did their own part to make it happen. While Aang snuck into Aunt Wu’s house to get her cloud reading book, Y/n, Sokka and Katara stood watch. Once he had it, they split into pairs. Aang and Katara flew up on Appa to change the shape of the clouds, while Y/n and Sokka went to get Aunt Wu.  “Aunt Wu! You’ll never believe it.” Y/n spoke, as the two guided her up to the stage from before.  When they got to it, Sokka pointed at the sky. “Look! Something is happening to the clouds!”  “That’s very strange. It shouldn’t…. Oh my!”  One of the clouds had been shaped into a skull, to signal volcanic doom.  Aang addressed the crowd of villagers when him and Katara got back. “We can still save the village if we act fast. Sokka has a plan.”  “Lava is gonna flow downhill to this spot. If we can dig a deep enough trench we can channel all the lava away from the village to the river.”  “If any of you are earthbenders come with me.”  A twin raised his hand. “I’m an earthbender!” The other twin raised his hand as well. “I’m not!”  “Everyone else grab a shovel-” Another explosion sounded, cutting Sokka off. “Come on, we’ve gotta hurry!”  They all hurried to start digging out a trench, using the means of both manual work and earthbending. The volcano had started to spew lava, by the time the trench was finished and led into the river.  “Everyone needs to evacuate! We’ll come for you when it’s safe!” At Aang’s direction, the villagers ran to safety. The group watched as lava started to race down the side of the volcano, engulfing the village gate and soon the cemetery. Once it reached the trench, it filled it rapidly.  “It’s too much! It’s gonna overflow!” Katara shouted, as the lava filled to the top of the trench.  Another explosion rocks the ground, burning rocks begin to rain down, along with ash. Y/n, Katara and Sokka began to run away, but stopped realizing Aang stood in place.  He ran forward, launching himself into the air with his bending. As the lava begins to overflow, he blows the lava back to keep it from advancing from the village. He drew in a large breath before expelling it, using his airbending to cool the lava into stone. The three watched in awe.  Y/n wiped at the sweat beading on her forehead. “Woah.”  “Man, sometimes I forget what a powerful bender that kid is.”  Katara looked over at her brother. “Wait, what did you just say?”  “Nothing, just that Aang is one powerful bender.”  “I suppose he is…” 

After the volcano situation was successfully dealt with, everyone had gone back to the town square. Aang returned the cloud book back to Aunt Wu.  “By the way, we kind of borrowed your book.”  “So you messed with the clouds did you!” She snatched the book angrily from his grip, before beginning to laugh. “Very clever!”  Turning his attention away from the two, Sokka addressed the villagers. “No offense, but I hope this taught everyone a lesson about not relying too much on fortune telling.”  “But Aunt Wu predicted the village wouldn’t be destroyed, and it wasn’t. She was right, after all.” One of the men spoke up. Sokka got in his face. “I hate you.”  Y/n looked between the two with an amused expression. “He has a point.” Pausing, her eyebrows furrowed together and her eyes widened. “Oh spirits, he has a point.” She dropped her head into her hands.  Katara grabbed her brother by the shoulders. “It’s ok, Sokka. Everything’s gonna be alright.”  Y/n held her head in her hands for a few moments, only looking up when someone nudged her in the shoulder. Ah, Sokka, great.  “So,” Turning to face him, she raised a questioning eyebrow at the boy. “So?”  “That was some pretty good trenching you did out there. You’re pretty strong.” Pausing, Sokka reached out and gently punched her in the arm. “For a girl.” He spoke in a joking tone, grinning wide.  “Oh, uh, thanks. You’re pretty strong yourself.” Y/n punched him in the arm, but much harder than he’d done to her. “For a boy.”  He winced, rubbing at the spot she hit. “Ow! I mean-” He cleared his throat. “That didn’t hurt.”  She let out a laugh. “Sure it didn’t.”  Climbing up on Appa as the group readied for their departure, she ignored the thought in her head that said Aunt Wu’s prediction might not be that bad.

[thatfanficstuff]

Time Travel - Avengers

Pairing: Tony Stark x Loki with Daughter OFC

Warnings: nope

A/N: Okay so this isn’t what you normally see from me. At all. Last year I offered to write a fanfic for the winner of an auction benefiting the Australian wild fire relief efforts. Wren won and requested a fic. (and then was super patient when my health took a nosedive.) The pairing (family) and basic idea were theirs. I was super happy with how it turned out and they agreed I could share it here. So enjoy something a little different I guess. 

***

Frigga Stark had been in the past for nearly three months by this point and she was so ready to go home. It wasn’t that she was completely unhappy here. Her powers and abilities had assured her a ready place in the Avengers even if she had just appeared in the middle of a fight with no warning. But living as a stranger in the midst of her family was so much harder than she thought it would be.

Everyone had been friendly enough of course, but she missed bear hugs from her super soldier uncles. She missed late night movies and chats with Nat and Wanda. She missed Thor having her pick up Mjolnir every time he saw her and laughing that booming laugh of his when she did. And Clint had been teaching her to fly the quin jet.

Most of all she missed her dads. Tony and Loki were both here of course but they were just so different from the men she knew in the future. For one they still hated each other so there was no joking or teasing between them. For another, they were awesome dads and she missed the thousand little things they’d do every day to let her know they loved her. Things she’d never take for granted again.

Fortunately, she’d inherited some of her birth father Loki’s abilities and had been able to disguise herself since her arrival. Wouldn’t want to interfere with the future and all that. That had all come crashing down yesterday when she’d been knocked out in the middle of the battle. Her disguise faded to show her natural dark hair and striking green eyes. It also revealed she was about 10 years younger than she’d been leading them all to believe.

Due to her injuries, they’d allowed her to postpone the interrogation until today. Because that’s what it was going to be. Not a discussion or a talk. No, a straight up interrogation. She hated when they were mad at her. The only thing worse is when they were disappointed. Fortunately, that didn’t happen very often.

“Captain Rogers requests your presence in the conference room in fifteen minutes, miss,” Jarvis’s voice filled her room causing her to sigh. She’d ask for more time but knew it would be pointless. They’d already been more than accommodating. Hell, she was lucky she hadn’t spent the night in a cell somewhere.

“Thanks, JARVIS,” she said as she sat up and ran a hand through her hair. After hurrying through her morning routine, she threw on a pair of sweats and t-shirt. She padded through the halls, making it to the conference room right on time.

She took a deep breath before pulling open the door to step into the room. Fear shot through her as she took in the others. Every single person that meant anything to her was crowded into this room and they had no idea who she even was. That by now familiar pang of loneliness flooded her chest and she did her best to shake it off. They’d moved all the chairs around so they were all on one side of the table while she was left a single seat on the opposite side.

“Morning,” she said as she sat.

For a long time, no one said anything as they studied her. She couldn’t bring herself to meet their eyes, afraid of what she’d find there. Instead, she kept her gaze locked on her hands where they tangled together on the table.

“Why?”

Her head jerked up in surprise at hearing Wanda’s voice before anyone else’s. Frigga cleared her throat. “Why?”

“Why lie?” the other woman clarified. “Did you think we would turn you out because you were a child?”

“I’m not a child,” Frigga corrected automatically. It was an argument she’d had with her family many times. “I’m fifteen.”

“Oh, fifteen,” Bucky exclaimed. “Well, excuse the shit out of us, kid.”

“Really, Buck?” Steve said glancing over at his friend.

Frigga couldn’t stop the smile that came to her lips. This was familiar. Comfortable. She shook her head. She might as well get this over with. She took a breath to fortify her nerves. “None of this is as simple as it seems. And you probably won’t believe half of what I have to tell you, but I’ll tell you everything. I have too.”

“And why should we believe that you’re suddenly going to be honest about everything when you’ve failed to do so up until this point?” Tony asked.

She shook her head. “Because it doesn’t matter anymore. Not now that you’ve seen me. The real me I mean.”

Looks of confusion were exchanged amongst the others causing Frigga to chuckle. “Maybe I should just start with how I came to be here. Three months ago, there was a lab accident. My dads were attempting to combine magic and tech to create a time travel device. They were explaining every thing to me when I bumped into the table. It knocked something off and I automatically reached out with my magic to catch it. Next thing I knew I was here. Seventeen years in the past.”

She shrugged. “Why this particular time? I have no idea. I altered my appearance to keep from affecting the future.”

“Why would us knowing what you look like have any affect on the future?” Steve asked.

Tony narrowed his gaze and pursed his lips. “I think the better question is who her fathers are.”

The look on his face told her he already suspected the answer. After all, how many people here would invent a time machine? And how many used magic? “I was born via a surrogate using genetic material from a female egg donor and Loki of Asgard. When I was two, Dad got married and Pop adopted me. My real name is Frigga Maria Stark.”

There was a moment of silence before the room erupted into chaos. Her family argued with each other and shouted questions at her which she ignored. Not surprisingly, the men who would become her fathers were silent. They exchanged a measuring look with each other before looking back to Frigga. She smirked when she saw the hint of a blush on Tony’s cheeks.

After allowing chaos to reign for a moment longer, she took off the necklace she was never without. She sat it on the table and pushed the button on the side once. It opened to reveal a picture of her with her dads. She slid it over. Pietro was the one to take it from the table. “This proves nothing. This is easily faked.”

She said nothing, just watching as they passed her most prized possession amongst themselves. Loki and Tony lingered over it longer than anyone else. Finally, Tony was the one to give it back to her. “As much as I hate to say it, Speedy’s right. You’re going to have to do better than that.”

She smiled and placed her locket back on the table still open. She pressed the button on the side twice this time. A hologram of the same picture projected above it for a moment until it was replaced with one of Loki spinning her in the air when she was a toddler. A moment later his voice filled the silence. “My princess. I will love you until I take my last breath and beyond. There is never a moment that I am not intensely proud of you. You will conquer anything you put your mind to, and I cannot wait to witness it.”

That picture faded away to be replaced with one of Tony and her laughing with their arms draped over each other’s shoulders. Tears pricked her eyes but didn’t fall. “Hey sweetheart. I love you more than you could possibly imagine. Every day with you has been an adventure and I can’t wait to see what’s next.”

Again and again pictures faded to be replaced by another with a message to match until it had gone through everyone in her family. Frigga wiped her cheeks quickly as the last message played. Gods, she missed her family. The silence was thick and heavy as she snatched her locket from the table and put it back around her neck where it belonged.

She cleared her throat. “There was a mission last year. Everyone was going to be gone for at least a month. It was the first time I was going to be left alone without any of you. Pops made this and gave it to me the night before you left.”

“We left a fourteen-year-old alone for a month?” Sam sounded appalled.

Frigga chuckled. “No, you left me with Happy for six weeks. But every night before I went to sleep I’d play it. I still do actually. Even when you’re all home.” She took a deep breath and looked at each of them in turn. “I’m sorry I lied to all of you. About everything. Now, I just want to go home. I miss my family.”

Bucky huffed. “What are we? Chopped liver?” He grinned and Frigga looked at him in surprise for a moment before she giggled. Which made him laugh and soon everyone in the room was laughing.

Finally, Tony clapped his hands as he stood. “Well, let’s see about getting you home, kiddo.”

***

It took three more weeks before they were ready to send her home. Everyone gathered in the lab to say their goodbyes until finally it was just Loki, Tony and her. Loki tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked into green eyes so like his own. “Are you sure about this?” he asked her.

Frigga shook her head. “Not at all, but we’ve got to try.”

Loki pulled her into a hug with a sigh. “I know.” After a long moment, he released her. “Remember to focus. If what we suspect is true, you’ll be pulled back as soon as you slip into the time stream but focusing your magic can only help.”

She nodded. “I remember.” They were counting on her dads to have set up a beacon of some sort in the future. It was almost guaranteed that they had. After all it was what this Tony and Loki would have done.

Tony was next to wrap her in a bone-crushing hug. “I’ll miss you, kiddo.”

“No, you won’t.” Loki, Wanda and she had come up with a memory spell so they would all forget who she was and what she looked like once she was gone. When she returned to her own time, she could reverse it.

He laughed and gave her that cockeyed smirk. “All right. Let’s do this.”

Frigga nodded once and prepped her magic. Tony flipped on the machine and it glowed with Loki’s green magic. She added her own purple strands to the mix and the room flooded with bright white light. She closed her eyes against it as she felt like she was floating toward something. When her feet hit the ground, she pulled back her magic and opened her eyes.

She stood near the back of the lab. A device pulsing with blue light stood on one of the tables nearby and she smiled when she saw it. Beacon. The lab was quiet even though it was occupied by two of her favorite people. There had evidently been nothing about her arrival that caught their attention as their backs were turned toward her. Bruce quietly typed away on his laptop while Tony sat at his desk. Some invention or another was scattered on the table in front of him but he wasn’t working on it. He was bent forward with his head in his hands and even though she could only see the back of him, Frigga could tell he was utterly exhausted.

Tears flooded her eyes. “Daddy?” She hadn’t called him that in years. Her voice was quiet and if it hadn’t been for the sudden jerk of his shoulders, she would have been afraid he didn’t hear her. Both heads snapped in her direction. Tony stood with tears running down his cheeks but he didn’t move toward her, afraid she’d disappear if he did.

Only when she hurried to him, dodging tables as she went did he move to meet her. His arms wrapped around her in the tightest hug he’d ever given. “Oh my God, Frigga. We were beginning to think we’d never see you again.” He pressed kisses along the side of her head, but didn’t release the hold he had on her.  

“I missed you so much.” She was now openly weeping. She heard a sniff from behind her, but kept her arms wrapped around her dad. “You okay over there, Uncle Bruce?”

“Y-yeah. I’m just so happy you’re home,” he answered while obviously crying.

“Friday, get Loki down here right away, but don’t tell the others just yet,” Tony ordered as he finally released her to look her over.

“Of course, sir. Welcome home, Frigga. It’s good to have you back,” the AI responded.

“Thank you, Friday.”

Tony’s hands stayed on her arms, not wanting to completely let her go just yet. His gaze ran over her from top to bottom. “Are you okay?”

She nodded. “I’m sure Bruce will want to make sure there aren’t any lingering effects but yeah, I’m good.”

The door to the lab opened and Frigga glanced over, her heart racing. Her dad stepped in, frowning at the book in his hands. She recognized it as one of her grandmother’s spell books. He was obviously looking for more ways to get her home. “What do you need, love?” he asked without looking up.

Tony stepped to the side so his husband would have a clear view of their daughter but he didn’t say anything. Loki glanced up with a frown when he didn’t get the expected answer. His eyes went wide and the book fell from his hand as he saw Frigga.

She launched herself at him and he caught her, lifting her from the floor in a tight embrace. “Oh, my beautiful, beautiful girl. You came home to us.” He ran a hand through her hair as he held her. “I knew you’d find a way. I missed you so much.”

For the first time in months, the tears on her face were happy tears. For the last four months she’d wanted to be nowhere other than where she was right at this moment. Nothing could be better than this. Tony soon joined their hug, Loki shifting one of his arms so it surrounded his husband and brought him into the fold. Another moment later and they all rocked as Bruce joined in as well. Okay, she stood corrected. This was even better.

[pikemoreno]

and then i’d kiss you

pairing: marcus pike x f!reader

summary: when going undercover requires you be fake married to your longtime work crush... because of course that’s how life is going right now.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: mentions of guns, excessive pining

a/n: an idea sparked by discussions with @hdlynn​ and @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ about undercover!fake married!marcus. shoutout to them for the inspiration and being my think tank.

(also i hate trying to name things)

***

You slid into the conference room right at the end of the briefing, coffee in hand. Marcus stood at the front of the room, presenting the case you’d been building with the rest of the team. You’d been doing so much planning and research for the sting that you had almost forgotten about the meeting for it, so you inconspicuously took a seat at the back, pretending that you’d been there the whole time, and listened as Marcus closed. 

“The gala is tomorrow evening at The National Gallery. Very fancy, very exclusive. Our targets are, as I’m sure you guessed, Mitch Pimpkin and Harriet Smith.” Their images appeared on the monitor in the conference room and every member of the team groaned. These two had been a thorn in your team’s side for months. They were particularly good at what they did. They were dangerous, not afraid of casualties, and they always covered their tracks. Agent Pike continued, “They are confirmed to be attending the gala. They are supposed to be meeting with three clients at the event. The clients are already in custody, but Mitch and Harriet don’t know that. So that’s our in.” Suddenly he called you up to explain the rest of the plan and you just about had a spit take with your coffee, looking at him wide-eyed. The look on his face told you he caught you coming in late and putting you on the spot was now the revenge. You glared at him, but the shit-eating grin remained on his face. 

“Yeah, so, “ you stumbled, trying to find your bearings as you joined him at the front of the room, “According to the information we got out of the clients, Mitch and Harriet have never actually seen them, so we’ll be sending in three agents undercover. They will pretend to be the clients and catch them red-handed,” you nodded to Marcus and he put the pictures of the three apprehended clients along with their basic information up on the monitors. “First is a single buyer meeting with Harriet, name is Natalie Reyes. A real femme fatale type. Should be fun. Anyone feeling particularly strongly about acting as Ms. Reyes? Maria, interested?” You looked to the agent sitting directly in front of you.

“Yeah, I’m down,” she grinned. She was going to enjoy this way too much.

“Now the other two that are meeting with Mitch are a married couple. Allison and Shane Morgan. They’re attached at the hip, extremely into each other.” You rolled your eyes, experiences with them in the interrogation room painting your memories. “Gotta be a pretty convincing couple or Mitch will catch on. As we all know, he is extremely intuitive. He’ll run at the first sight of a lie. Anyone with any secret relationships wanting to make-out on the job?” Everyone laughed, but no one volunteered. 

You missed the way one of your fellow agents, Logan, looked at Marcus. And you certainly missed the way Marcus looked back at him. 

Don’t you dare.

Logan spoke up. “Well, if no one wants to volunteer, maybe it should be you two.” You gaped; Marcus pinched the bridge of his nose. “After all, it’s your plan and you are the only ones to have met the couple.” 

“Plus, you two go on assignments like this all the time. You’re closer than anyone else in this room. You would probably be the most convincing,” Maria chimed in. 

The look you gave her was murderous. She wouldn’t dare. She knew all about the little crush you had. You’d trusted her with that information-- actually she’d figured it out, but that was beside the point-- and now she was about to ruin everything. The most frustrating part, though, was that you couldn’t argue with any of that logic. She was completely right.

And that is how you ended up at Pike’s front door in a form-fitting black cocktail dress that flared out just enough to hide the thigh-holster and concealed gun. That was paired with strappy heels that were probably going to leave your feet numb within the hour. The duality of the job. You played nervously with the golden necklace that weighed heavy on your neck while you stood there, preparing yourself to knock. It was all starting once you made your presence known. Tonight, you were going to have everything you wanted in all the wrong ways. It was going to be so easy to pretend, because it wouldn’t be pretend. You would be feeling every word you uttered. But it wouldn’t matter after you took these heels off tonight. Lord, did it hurt thinking of how it was going to be on his end. It was all pretend to him: every touch of his hand to your back, every interlacing of fingers, every whispered compliment to make you blush, every-- God forbid-- kiss that was to come tonight was untruthful. It was all part of the gig and you resented it.

You didn’t know Marcus was sitting on the other side of the door, waiting for the minute you knocked, thinking shockingly similar things. You had no way of knowing that. You had no way of ever guessing that he was both anticipating and dreading the way your hand would brush his, how you would look at him like he’d hung the stars, how you would maybe even dare to kiss him. It was all for show and it made his stomach turn to think about it. 

He blamed himself. If he had come clean months ago, he would’ve never been put in this situation, no matter what your response was. You would either be really kissing him tonight or else no one would’ve dared suggest that you be a fake couple due to “your history.” Either of those scenarios would be preferable to pretending that he wasn’t shaking right now, waiting for the best and worst night he’d had in DC so far.

You finally knocked.

He jumped up to answer the door.

Time stopped with two people looking at each other like it was the first time all over again. 

He looked more handsome than you’d ever seen him before. He wore suits almost every day, but this was different. He looked nothing short of elegant in a black suit and bowtie, accents of a dark burgundy through the ensemble. His actual appearance was much the same, but elevated somehow. The facial hair was a newer addition to his look in general, but it looked its best tonight, accentuating his jaw line, making it sharper and more defined. His deep brown eyes took on a new color tonight with the way they sparkled and brightened in the early twilight’s light. 

Damn, your fake husband was fine. And it killed you.

Of course you were no better with your perfectly fitting dress and the beautiful jewelry that made you look like one of the art pieces you were protecting tonight and the heels that looked like they couldn’t be comfortable to him, but oh did they draw attention to your legs in the best way. You were beautiful every day in his eyes, but the way you’d so elegantly done your hair and make-up served to accentuate that. The smile that slowly spread across your face was what really did him in, though. It was the smile he saw every day, but tonight it seemed extra special.

He’d have to be swatting others away left and right to keep them away from his fake wife tonight. But there was nothing actually tying you to him. Someone else could sweep you off your feet tonight and you’d have nothing to keep you around. And it hurt.

There was a beat of silence as all of these thoughts arose and swirled around each other. 

“Uh- ready to go?” he initiated finally.

“Yep- yep let’s go. Can’t keep our convicts waiting, can we?”

“Oh, before I forget,” he patted his pockets, searching, before pulling out a ring.

Of course. You hadn’t even considered wearing a fake ring. That would’ve been a dead giveaway. He was so good at all of this.

“May I?” he asked, just above a whisper. You nodded and he slid the piece on your ring finger, gently holding your left hand in his. Your stomach flipped, swallowing hard at the lump that formed in your throat. There was nervous laughter from both sides as you looked at it now settled on your finger. He slid his own on and shook his head.

“Feels weird to be wearing this again,” he curled and flexed his fingers around the piece.

“Were these--” you started, but found yourself unable to finish. 

“They were,” he smiled sadly, “Not sure why I kept them. But at least we’ve found a use for them, hmm?”

“Yeah, great thinking, by the way. I would’ve never clocked that, but Mitch definitely would’ve. And might I say,” you studied the simple, stunning ring in the fading light, “You have excellent taste, fake husband.” The warmth went straight to his cheeks.

You can have it someday, if you want. 

Is what he almost said, but this was just two kids playing dress up (and anyway, he would’ve bought you a new ring if it came to that).

“Shall we, fake wife?” he put out his arm for you to take. You did with a plastered on smile. You tried to miss the warmth of his other hand as it came to rest on yours.

***

The National Gallery was already beautiful in its own right, but the coordinators of the gala really went all out with ornate chandeliers and furniture being brought in just for the event. Even the food tables were gold and sparkly, filled with all kinds of food you didn’t recognize and were frankly scared to eat. You inconspicuously rendezvoused with Maria, giving her a quick hug and pretending to introduce her to Marcus. 

“Spot them yet?” you mumbled to her, thankfully covered by the echoing sounds of the other attendees and the music that was accompanying the dancing in the center of the ballroom.

“Just arrived. 6 o’clock and 10 o’clock. She’s upstairs at the railing, he’s downstairs.” You clocked them both.

“You start with Harriet first. We’ll stall for a few minutes so we’re available for back-up. I’ll be expecting a ‘cuffed’ text in 15 minutes. If I don’t get one, we’ll come check on you unless you tell us otherwise. Copy?”

“Copy.” You exchanged more plastic smiles and parted ways, though you didn’t miss the wink she directed at you, eyeing you and Marcus standing there together. His arm came around your shoulder as you walked off. You played with his fingers there in true rich-fake-wife fashion. 

“Now how will we stall for time, sweetheart?” You fought with the tightness in your chest. The dichotomy between words meant only for you to hear and the term of endearment that came with the act confused you. There was no use for such words with all the noise, so why use them?

“Shall we join them, my love?” you nodded towards the people dancing.

You wouldn't have known but his stomach flipped so violently at the name that he thought he might be sick. 

He nodded and grinned, leading you by the hand. His hands found your waist as you joined the others in their swaying and dancing to the classical music. Your hands looped around to the back of his neck and you absentmindedly played with the short hairs there. It was as soft and thick as you had thought it would be.

Not that you’d made a habit of imagining it, of course.

“Maria is on the move with Harriet. They look like they’re having a nice talk,” Marcus laughed, looking over your shoulder.

“That’s a good sign,” you sighed, pretending to scan the room, but purposefully finding Mitch chatting with another guest. You looked back to Marcus, focusing your full senses on the music and how you were moving with it, the pressure you felt on your waist, and how his eyes were somehow even deeper this close.

You almost missed Mitch leaving your vision, heading up stairs. 

“Mitch is on the move,” you hissed, a little disappointed over the loss of Marcus’s hands on your waist as you left the dancers to trail the target. Though you took the steps maybe little too quickly to be just a normal couple, your hands swung, connected between you, hoping to still pass as a couple just looking for a quiet place to get away from the bustling party. 

You stopped in a small, sparse exhibition room, hearing Mitch’s voice on the phone around the corner. The broken words you heard sounded like he was talking about a different deal entirely. You breathed a little easier. He wasn’t suspicious of you and wasn’t calling back-up. 

But he would be if you didn’t think quickly. 

You heard him say his goodbyes to the associate and you knew what came next. There was only one way out of the room and it was behind you. You were too close to him to try to get back out unnoticed. So you did the only thing you could think of. You could only hope that Marcus wouldn’t be totally appalled. 

“Marcus, kiss me,” you whispered, noticing you were still holding his hand, you gripped it tighter.

“What?” he whispered back, not… Appalled exactly, but surprised. You couldn’t blame that, you guessed.

“He’s coming back this way. Kiss me.” You saw it in his eyes as the plan suddenly clicked for him. 

Mitch’s footsteps began clicking against tile and your back was all at once pressed against the wall closest to you, hands meeting either side of your face.

“Sorry about this.”

He was hardly sorry.

You weren’t either.

And, damn, did he kiss you. It started hesitant, barely there, but it didn’t stay that way. Once you heard Mitch round the corner, you deepened the kiss- that’s the only reason you did right? Because he was coming?-- letting your lips part, fingers weaving through Marcus’s hair.

He caught on, responding, taking the space your lips allowed. One hand came down to your ass, your leg hitched up around his waist. Just to really sell it-- that’s the only reason he did it right? To sell it? 

You can just barely hear Mitch let out an annoyed huff at the sight over your heartbeat in your ears. 

But then came the hitch: Mitch gets another call, presumably an urgent one, because he doesn’t keep moving.

Which meant you had to keep kissing Marcus. 

You couldn’t say you hated that part, but you were really wishing it wasn’t a matter of life of death. 

“A fake? Where are you? ...  Stay there. I’m on my way,” he clicked off, running out of the room. You and Marcus broke apart finally, gasping for breath. But still the separation came too quickly, the lack of him everywhere such a stark contrast to the cool air spreading against your now too-warm skin.

“Maria,” you whispered to him, eyes wide. “He’s going after Maria.” He pulled his gun and you followed, at some point ditching your heels in favor of speed as you took off after the thief. You made a call to the rest of the team outside as you ran. “Plan aborted. Maria caught. Come inside to make the arrest.” 

You caught up just as Mitch pulled a gun on Maria who had hers already pointed at an unarmed Harriet, her hands in the air, phone smashed on the ground. You moved out to flank him while Marcus moved directly behind him.

“FBI. Drop your weapon,” Marcus announced. You watched Mitch wince, looking behind him and then over to where you stood. Then he smirked. You didn’t like that one bit.

“I see you two were having some fun on the job. Might have to bring that up in my interrogation. Doesn’t sound like FBI policy to me to--”

“Watch it, jackass,” you sneered. He chuckled and you hated that you let him get a rise out of you.

Back-up slammed in through the emergency exit to your left and it was game over. They cuffed Mitch and Harriet, taking them back outside with them while Maria went to get her injuries checked by medical. That left you and Marcus in the room alone, catching your breath on a garish, velvet covered bench. The silence was awkward until Marcus finally broke it.

“That was… Good thinking… Back there.” You laughed.

“That’s what you’re going with? ‘Good thinking’?” 

“Well, what do you want me to say?” he asked, a little frustrated

“I don’t know just--” you groaned, “Forget it. Nevermind.” You stood to face away from him, crossing your arms, and willing yourself not to get upset.

Of course you already guessed it hadn’t meant anything, but now hearing it out loud made it too real.

“Are you wanting me to say that I liked it?” Your stomach turned in the worst way. You would’ve never expected this kind of cruelty from him, but his voice wasn’t accusatory. It was… hopeful? “Because I did.” You spun around to face him. 

“You-- Marcus, don’t be funny about this.” He stood now, stepping in front of you.

“I’m not. I’ve wanted to do that for… Longer than I’d like to admit,” he confessed, a hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck, “Something about the way you’re acting right now tells me you might be thinking the same thing.” You smiled bashfully, thankful he was braver than you were.

“Yeah,” you brought a hand to rest on his cheek, “I loved this night with you-- other than all the life or death stuff.” He grinned, leaning into your hand. HIs bright eyes seemed to bore right through you, hanging on every word. “I was just wishing it was… Real. I guess it kind of was after all.”

“Oh, not even close.” You tilted your head in confusion, dropping your hand from where it was gently laid against his cheek. “I would’ve done it all very differently,” his voice dropped to a whisper, too close to need anything more. 

“How so?”

“Well,” his eyes darted to your lips and then back to meet your gaze, “May I?” You nodded vigorously. 

“Please.”

This kiss held nothing back. It wasn’t quite so vigorous as before, but was a slow and steady presence. No longer afraid to be truthful, it was free to be deep and passionate and real. So real. 

“Soooo, is this what Mitch was talking about earlier?” Maria’s voice interjected. You and Marcus scrambled away from each other to find her, arm bandaged, leaning against the doorframe of the emergency exit. “Don’t stop on my account, just be back to the bureau in an hour to debrief.” You both nodded sheepishly.

“We’ll be there,” you told her, finally finding your voice. She shook her head, smiling.

“Oh, everyone is going to love this.”

“Please don’t say anything, Maria.” 

“I have to,” she grinned. “We all had bets placed. I said you’d get together tonight, but Logan said it wouldn’t be until tomorrow. Looks like I won. Bye, you two.” 

“We’re never gonna hear the end of this,” Marcus murmured, kissing your forehead as you watched Maria leave again. 

“Never,” you agreed as you started walking hand-in-hand back to the car. “Hey, what else would you have done differently tonight? Just for… Curiosity's sake.” 

“Sure, that’s all it is,” he mused. “Well, I would’ve taken you on a proper date first, somewhere you didn’t have to wear those shoes that look like they’re--”

“Shit.” No shoes. You both looked down to find your bare feet and started laughing far too loud for the middle of this pristine gala. Everyone stared. You couldn’t care less now. There was no act. You shrugged, “Good riddance. Keep going, keep going. What else?”

“On that proper date I would’ve told you that I’ve been wanting to ask you out since the first assignment we had together. I thought you were beautiful, of course, but it was really the way you worked. You were so on top of everything-- saved my ass more than once. You had such an incredible work ethic, but you made it all so fun. Like now, we’re laughing about you walking through The National Gallery with no shoes after facing multiple instances of life and death. Who else could I do that with? I would tell you that I want that every day. And then would I have kissed you.” You stepped outside into the cool, quiet autumn air.

“But first,” you interjected, “I would have to tell you that I’ve been infatuated by you since that first assignment. You were the new guy and I was a little skeptical at first, but you proved me wrong so quickly. You were so cool under pressure and it calmed me down too. I would’ve told you that you’re still a calming presence in my life; that everything’s easier around you. I would’ve told you I couldn’t understand how anyone could let you go, and it made me angry, honestly. How could they get a chance with you and waste it when I couldn’t even get one?” His thumb rubbed across the back of your hand comfortingly. “I’d tell you that you’re the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met-- and that this look tonight almost killed me.”

“And then I’d kiss you.”

“And then you’d kiss me.”

And he did.

[themadauthorshatter]

If you're up to date with my posts, then you know what's about to happen.

I've read the books, WE'VE ALL READ THE BOOKS, but this is a somewhat fun switch-a-roo.

Expect a BUNCH of changes that I'll try justifying, especially painful ones, so bear with me🙏

OTP SWAP PART 1: THE CRUEL PRINCE!!!!

I'm starting with the first book for obvious reasons

Like before, we start in the mortal world with Ashley Duarte(yes, human!Cardan's last name is Duarte, but like I said, bear with me) making tacos in the kitchen while one of the MANY dogs and other animals wait for her to drop some food. Baby boy Cardan and his older half-sister Rhyia are watching some human stuff, maybe Looney Tunes or old Mickey Mouse cartoons, when the door is knocked on, which alerts the animals and wakes a half asleep Cardan; Rhyia does not wake up.

Cardan answers it and finds a cloaked Madoc at the door. Rather than ask who he is or call for his mother, he stares at this man, who kneels and asks as evenly as possible if his mother is home.

Cardan slams the door in his face, which prompts Ashley to ask why he did so.

Madoc BANGS on the door and shouts, "Asha!" and Ashley pales as she realizes who is at the door.

She demands Cardan to go upstairs as Madoc kicks the door open and walks inside, giving the same speech as the original, that Balekin told him she'd ran away with his daughter, that she killed a woman who was just as pregnant as her, that she ran away and married some lowly farm hand and blacksmith. He thought it was a lie, but nope. Here she stands.

Asha(which is her real name) is deeply ashamed at his words, and tries to pull Cardan away; an angry Madoc is an unstable Madoc.

Like before, Justin rushes in to save his family, but ends up getting kebabbed with his wife.

Rhyia does wake up to see both and Madoc spills the tea that she's his and needs to pack her bags because they're leaving, and Cardan's coming with.

Cardan, despite being seven, is outraged and tries to kick Madoc into oblivion with no avail. Rhyia, however, swears that she'll never love a monster like Madoc, who simply scoffs and tells her to wrangle the human and gather her things in half an hour, because they're leaving for Faerie.

Reluctantly, they do and they never see the mortal world again for a very long time.

Jump to the present day as Cardan, a now seventeen year old human heart throb, is getting prim and proper for a revel. His hair is getting styled nice, he's in a nice suit, he's wearing a cool belt that makes him look like he has a tail, and has ear cuffs that make his ears look pointed like a faerie.

He also has rowan berries on his wrist, because he doesn't want the necklace to be easy to see as a lot of his shirts show his chest.

He's dolled up and meets Locke, his brother that came around when Madoc married Oriana and had Oak. The two did not get along, at first, but they began to tolerate each ither as they realized they were the only humans in Faerie that were gentry kids.

Locke is more of a bard or a poet, always seen with a little book, and doesn't wear the same stuff Cardan does, so no pointed ear cuffs for him. He's also more accustomed to Faerie, being good with half truths and minor deception. He's on good terms with both Madoc and Oriana.

Cardan, however, is not on good terms with either of them, as he has tried multiple times to leave Faerie, with and without Rhyia with him, and every time ended with Madoc outside scowling at him and leading him back to his room. Still has that 'no kill' rule, but he's better with sneaking and a sword, having been able to lighten his steps so he could sneak past Madoc and his guards whenever he tried to leave. He's not bad with a sword, but he still has a lot to learn, being 17 and all. When he doesn't have a sword in his hands, he has an animal in them, i.e. a foal, a dog, or, at one point, a skunk that was calm enough to not spray him. Yeah, animal lover that can hold his own.

The two exchange banter and Locke shows show rare excitement for this revel, saying the two will have the time of their lives. Locke, who isn't as close with her, wonders where Rhyia is, but Cardan reveals she's not attending, instead going to visit some friends in the mortal world.

Her funeral as the boys saddle up with Oriana amd Madic and go to the revel.

Similar events occur, like Oriana telling the boys to be careful, Madoc talking to Dain and Balekin, and Locke leading Cardan through the revel so they can have a good time.

IT GOES DOWNHILL WHEN THE GREENBRIAR TWINS AND THEIR FRIENDS ARRIVE. Jude, her older sister Taryn, and their friends, Edir, a bard that can sing and play anyone under the table, Valerian, who's a sadist, and Nicasia, the princess of the Undersea.

Jude and Taryn may have the same face and body, but don't be fooled, Jude has horns, always wears a sword, and will slap you in a dress and then set it on fire without a second’s hesitation. Taryn, however, always has a bunch of flowers in her hair, always wears a dress, and uses words as her weapon. Did you know that she broke on of the most boisterous men in Faerie qith nothing but her words? True story. Edir is the guy that keeps them both in check, an order of Balekin's, which we'll learn later. He is also more of Jude's friend and Taryn's bed buddy, in SFW terms. Nicasia is Jude's friend, like FRIEND, and Valerian is the same, really, just more of an ass now that he has more even targets.

Everyone bows to these guys, even Cardan and a smirking Locke. That smirk vanishes when Taryn winks at Cardan, who Jude GLARES AT.

Locke feels the same way, cinfused and angry, but no time to think in it because Valerian storms toward a confused Cardan and grabs him by the collar, snarling that he can play dress up and make believe all he wants because it won't hide his plain hair or round ears or barn dog smell, so he shouldn't even bother.

Valerian throws him back and Locke rounds on Cardan, asking him what the hell that was between him and Taryn. Cardan brushes him off, as it was just a wink, not a lap dance. Before they can REALLY go at it, crying draws their attention and see that Jude just pincushioned someone who didn't bow, said someone nkw having a hole in their stomach and a slash across their torso. Taryn is annoyed, Nicasia and Valerian are trying not to laugh, and Edir, who's embarassed, is scolding Jude for losing it at a revel.

Jump to after the revel and the day of school. The boys do indeed get dirt kicked on their food, but instead of 'make me,' Cardan snaps, 'TRY me,' because Nicasia asks if he's as filthy as other human boys. Locke talks him down, but Valerian, kicking more dirt and even throwing some IN Cardan's face, asks if the two qould like them for friends.

Locke apologizes for Cardan, but Jude commands he prove it by dropping out of the tournament, it'll be less embarrassing than getting his ass beaten in front of everyone.

Nicasia spots one of the ear cuffs and pulls it off, asking if he stole it. Big mistake because the cuff burns her hand, as it is iron and iron hurts Faeries.

Cardan smirks and the group leaves, Locke scolding him for being stupid.

Later, at dinnner, after talk of Dain's coronation, Cardan, despite some minor objection from Rhyia, asks Madoc a question: May he please have a green sash for the tournament? Why? He would like to be a knight, please and thank you. Madoc chikes on his wine, Locke coughs to hide a laugh, Rhyia winces, and Oriana os shicked into silence.

Madoc gives it to him straight: he's not bad with a sword, he's good on his feet,and he's the best damned rider that anyone's ever seen, but no. He cannot compete for knighthood, on the count of being the furthest thing from a killer imaginable and just being in over his head.

Cardan protests that he can do just fine, but Madoc warns him to stop before he gets himself thrown in a dungeon instead if his room until the coronation of prince Dain.

Cardan relinquishes and we get the salt prank like before, except Locke is pissed beyond all reason at his foster brother. Cardan doesn't mind until he's grabbed by Edir and Valerian, Locke being pulled by the hair by Jude and both are thrown in the river, which has Nixies in it.

Thier supplies get yeeted, Locke gets pulled out by Valerian and is made to kiss Jude on the lips and both her horns, but, when asked, Cardan does not give up, vowing that he will never give up, which makes Jude laugh and the group leave.

Locke and Cardan walk home, get some baths, and go to bed, except they go to the mortal world with Rhyia and meet her friends Vivienne and Heather at the mall. Vivienne apologizes for Jude's behavior, and we learn that Rhyia is planning to leave Faerie, and is probably going alone.

The boys return and endure a lesson, but Jude pushes Locke's buttons, so Cardan pushes her into a tree. Challenge accepted.

TOURNAMENT TIME!! Cardan fairs wellin that Valerian is lazy, Edir is out of shape, and Jude got cocky, so he wins.

Jude fumes at him, later grabbing him by the tail on his belt amd demanding he beg for her forgiveness. He does... NOT! And spits in her face that she may push him down, but he'll pull her down with him, and it will hurt her like hell.

Taryn approaches him and expresses interest in him, saying that she once took both Edir and Nicasia from Jude because people just like a sensitive girl.

She leaves and the tournament eventually ends, which leads Cardan to return hime and meet Dain, who requested one of Madoc's people to tell Cardan one of Eldred's children had come for a visit.

Dain and Cardan get talking and Dain offers him something that isn't knighthood: spying. Plus one wish.

Cardan knows what he wants: to not be controled.

Granted, but Dain can still control him and the fruits of Faerie will still effect him.

Screwy, but deal, he's a spy now

STAY TUNED FOR PART 2!!!!!

[raindancer2004]

A Cullen / Volturi Christmas

Word Count: 2,953 Demetri x OC Cullen Part Four - Final Part. Warnings: Fluff

Demetri decided Carlisle needed to hear the news from him and noone else and tracked him down to his guest room. He knocked on the door “Come in” Esme called softy and Demetri opened the door stepping inside to see Carlisle and Esme sitting on the sofa by the fire. “Hello Demetri, it’s nice to see” Carlisle greeted him with a smile “Hello Carlisle, Esme, it’s nice to see you too” He replied and Esme sensed he was nervous. “Come and sit with us” She gestured to the chair to the left of the sofa “You seem a little nervous, everything ok?” She asked and he shifted in the chair whilst trying to collect his thoughts “I do have something I want to talk to you about...I just hope...oh god why is this so...breathe Demetri” He was looking at the floor now; Esme and Carlisle couldn’t help smiling, they had never seen Demetri this nervous, flustered even “Does this have anything to do with Lily?” Esme asked gently, Demetri looked up at her and nodded “Is she ok?” She asked and he nodded again and took an unneeded breath “Firstly Carlisle, I want to say that I value our friendship and was pleased; honoured even when you asked me if Lily could stay with me, as it meant that you trusted me with her, trusted me to keep her safe...” He paused and breathed in again “Secondly, I want you both to know that I think a lot of your daughter, of Lily. She’s an amazing person, she’s funny, kind, loving and I’ve enjoyed getting to know her” Esme was smiling at him not that he had noticed as he continued to tell them how great their daughter is “As my friend I wanted to be the one to tell you and Esme that I have found my mate...in Lily” He finished and felt so nervous he didn’t make eye contact with either of them.

After a moment’s silence Carlisle spoke “I kind of figured something had developed between you as you both get along with one another so easily and I have noticed the little looks you two share when you think noone is looking” If Demetri could blush he would be. “So you’re not angry about it?” “No Demetri, we are not. It’s a bit of a surprise but if I’m being honest...if my daughter’s mate had to be a Volturi guard, I’m really glad it’s you” Esme said softly smiling at him “You really mean that” He replied low “Yes we do because we know you can and will protect her, love her forever” Carlisle replied “I know you threatened the lower guards with dismemberment and the dungeons, if they hurt Lily, even after she moved into your room” He added “I thought that was rather sweet actually” Esme said smiling at Demetri “Has she accepted you as her mate?” She asked “Yes, she has. I gave her a necklace this morning...it’s kinda how I told her...she was mine” Demetri replied; Esme stood up and he did the same when he saw her hold out her arms to him “Welcome to the family Demetri” She said warmly as she hugged him “Thank you” He replied as he hugged her back “Don’t worry about our friendship either, nothing has changed” Carlisle said as he shook his hand whilst patting him on the shoulder “Thank you Carlisle, truly.” Demetri replied. He made his way back to his room pleased that Carlisle and Esme approved of him and Lily. Once back in his room he climbed into bed beside her and held her whilst she slept.

It had continued to snow overnight and it was still snowing when Lily woke up Christmas morning; lying in Demetri’s arms “Merry Christmas Demi” “Merry Christmas Lily” He replied, kissing her lips gently “I trust you slept well?” “I did, thank you Dem.” “Just to warn you Lils, you do have a few bruises from last night and I’m sorry for that” He said low as he rested his forehead to hers “Don’t worry about them Demi, I’m not. I enjoyed last night…I enjoyed being with you” She placed her hands to his face as she kissed him “Oh Lils, I enjoyed being with you too…more than you know. It’s just…I promised I wouldn’t hurt you and…” “You haven’t hurt me…it’s just a few bruises Dem. I’ll be fine” She cut him off “Besides you marked me last night as yours” She smiled at him “That’s.because.you.are.mine” He said between kisses “Well bruises I can hide…your mark I cannot” She replied “Don’t worry about that. I spoke to your parents last night whilst you slept…I wanted them to hear about us from me… and noone else” “How-how did they take the news?” “They were ok with the news…your mom said she was glad you’re with me and welcomed me into the family with a hug. Carlisle said that you and I being mates will not affect my friendship with him either” Demetri answered “Glad they approve of you…of us. Oh and get used to the hugs as that’s mum’s thing” Lily giggled at the last part “I think I can survive a few hugs now and then” He chuckled back.

Demetri and Lily were cuddling on the sofa “I have a few gifts for you mi amore” He knelt down on the floor by the tree and Lily joined him “I have a few gifts for you too babe” She replied smiling. They each took turns in opening their gifts. Lily bought Demetri Peppermint bath bombs, The Hunger Games trilogy and a pair of red and black check pyjama bottoms and matching black t-shirt. “Thank you for my gifts cara mia, they’re great” He said smiling and leaned towards her capturing her lips in a loving kiss. Demetri bought Lily a pair Disney’s Sleeping Beauty pyjamas, Cranberry Martini bath bombs and a reindeer charm for her charm bracelet “Thank you Demi, I love them” She climbed onto his lap wrapping her arms around him and kissed him passionately “I love you Dem” “I love you too Lils.”

Once everyone was in the family room the Secret Santa gift exchange commenced. Demetri watched as Renesmee opened her Secret Santa present from him; her eyes lighting up upon the seeing the ‘Beach Barbie and Barbie’s Beach House.’ Lily watched Jane open her Mac make-up; two eye shadow quads, a contouring kit and a selection of lip pink glosses. “Thank you Lily” Jane said smiling “How-how did you…?” “It was a guess sweetie” Jane replied. Alec opened his gift from Chelsea; a book of poetry and a book containing 365 puzzles; one for each day of the year. Felix watched Lily intently wanting to see her reaction to his Secret Santa gift of Disney’s Twisted Tales; volumes 1 and 2. “Oh my god. I love them. Thank you to whoever got me the books” Lily said smiling “Thank you for the gift ideas Esme” Felix said low to Esme, who smiled back “You’re welcome.” Demetri’s Secret Santa gift was from Gianna and she bought him a navy blue shirt and a pair Christmas socks. Everyone was talking and laughing and trying to guess who their Secret Santa was.

Everyone gathered in the ballroom and had sat around the long tables that were covered in blue tablecloths with silver Stag decorations standing in the centre. Christmas songs were playing in the background whilst Gianna, Lily and Ness ate their Christmas dinner and the vampires drank their silver glasses of blood, although Demetri did try some of Lily’s Turkey out of curiosity and wasn’t that impressed. ‘Baby it’s cold outside’ had started playing and Demetri got up from the table, turning to his left and took Lily’s warm hand in his cold one “May I have this dance?” She nodded and he led her a little further into the room before taking her into his arms, starting to slow dance with her. They swayed to the music whilst quietly singing to one another; he spun her away from him and pulled her back into him, her back to his chest and swayed them side to side a little, him smiling into her hair as he held her close. He then turned her in his arms so she was facing him and taking one hand in his and raising it above her head he twirled her on the spot before dancing around the floor with her in his arms. Lily was smiling at him ‘He’s such a good dancer’ she thought to herself as he led her around the floor. He dipped her a little then bought her back into his arms before he spun her away from him again. He pulled her back to him; her back to his chest and they swayed side to side again, him enjoying holding her in his arms, noticing she had relaxed into him smiling, her eyes closing briefly. He then turned her in his arms so she was facing him again and looking down at her lovingly before taking one hand in his again and raising it above her head twirling her on the spot and they continued to dance, twirl and sway around the floor.

They were so caught up in themselves they didn’t notice that Gianna and the room full of vampires were watching them dance together. Aro, Marcus, the wives, Esme and Carlisle all had big smiles on their faces as they watched the newly mated couple dance together. “He’s quite the romantic isn’t he?” Esme whispered to Carlisle smiling “Yes, yes he is…and he’s perfect for her” He responded low holding his wife’s hand in his. ‘Well done my dear boy’ Marcus thought to himself smiling. “I think our tracker has finally met his mate” Heidi said low to Felix as Demetri held Lily to him and swayed to the music once more “Her siblings are just going to love him” Alec said smirking as he watched them move around the floor effortlessly together; Jane nodded smiling, thinking how Edward is probably going to disapprove the most out of her siblings. Demetri dipped Lily low as the song ended before bringing her back up into his arms; arms wrapping around her waist “Merry Christmas baby” He whispered in her ear “Merry Christmas handsome” She replied low wrapping her arms around his neck.

Breaking the news to their families was easier than they thought as some of them had noticed how close the pair had become since the Cullens had arrived at the castle, others noticed the necklace Lily wore bearing the message ‘Mine for eternity. D’ in Italian. Others kind of figured it out watching Demetri and Lily dancing after dinner. Edward read Demetri’s thoughts and discovered they were together; growling low catching the attention of Bella and Emmett. Edward’s reaction made Demetri smirk and he watched as he filled in Bella and Emmett on the news “As long as he continues to protect her I have no issues with them being together. I mean he clearly loves her Edward” Emmett says looking over at Lily and Demetri talking with Esme and Carlisle “Mom and dad obviously approve too” He added. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it. He’s older than all of us and he’s a Volturi” “Edward” Aro said in a warning tone “Demetri deserves to be happy and it would seem that your sister is key to that…she has accepted him and you will not interfere” Aro added before making his way over to the couple.

“Demetri, Lily I’m so happy you two found each other and wish you a long and happy life together” Aro said smiling at them “Welcome to the family my dear” Aro added smiling at Lily “Thank you Aro” Lily smiled at him, Carlisle and Esme were smiling too. “Oh Demetri, my dear boy I’m so glad you finally found your one…and she’s so pretty” Sulpicia said smiling, placing her hands on Lily’s face “Thank you mi’ lady” Demetri replied bowing his head. “Welcome to the family child” “Thank you” Lily added with a smile “Where is she? Where is the beautiful human that’s captured our dear Demetri’s heart?” Athenodora says as she pushes past Aro and Sulpicia to wrap Lily in a hug; Caius is right behind her. Demetri couldn’t help smiling seeing how excited the wives were to meet Lily and how easily they accepted her; how easily Caius accepted her too considering their history with her family. “I would like to welcome you to the family too, although it would appear our brother Marcus kept this news all to himself” Caius said looking at Marcus; who just smiled and shrugged “I wanted them to figure things out for themselves without any interference…and I think it worked out rather well…don’t you?” Marcus replied sounding a little smug.

That night Demetri ran them a bath using one of the peppermint bath bombs Lily gave him for Christmas “Bath’s ready when you are Lils” He called softly from the bathroom; Lily was in the closet putting away the clothes and shoes she had received for Christmas from her family. She made her way into the bathroom to see Demetri already laying in the bath “Déjà vu” She said smiling “Not quite…you’re still wearing your robe” He replied; his smile widened when she dropped the robe and walked towards the tub “You’re so beautiful baby” He said as she climbed in and sat in front of him, he pulled her to him one arm wrapping around her, the other turning her head towards him as he placed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. “This is the best Christmas ever…and I should know I’ve celebrated quite a few” He said looking at her with nothing but love and adoration in his ruby eyes “I agree Dem. This has been the best Christmas ever.” She kissed him back before resting her head on his chest and enjoying their shared bath.

It was New Year’s Eve and everyone gathered in the North facing garden waiting in anticipation for ‘Emmett and Felix’s New Year Extravaganza’ They had gone all out and bought fireworks, sparklers and party poppers “We’re going to see the New Year in with style with our family and friends” Emmett said smiling wide “This is bound to end in disaster” Jane muttered low “Just watch him set himself alight” Demetri chuckled low in Lily’s ear “Oh be nice. He’s your best friend” She said looking up at him “That was me being nice…I could have said watch as he sets your brother alight” He chuckled again and Lily joined in “That’s very true Dem” Once the firework display was over they all went back inside to the throne room and everyone danced the night away. Everyone counted down to midnight “Happy New Year” greetings rung out the room. “Happy New Year handsome” Lily smiled up at Demetri, kissing him “Happy New Year baby” He replied kissing her back and tightening his hold on her waist “Here’s to the first of many New Year celebrations we get to share together” He added kissing her again.

The day had arrived for the Cullens to leave and Demetri was dreading having to watch Lily leave him and return home with her family. Demetri entered the closet expecting to find Lily packing but she wasn’t, she was just staring at her clothes in the closet. He came up behind her and gently turned her to face him “Stay with me Lils…please” He looked into her eyes and he knew her answer instantly “Yes. Yes” She said excitedly and wrapped her arms around his neck kissing him; he lifted her into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist. He growled low as she bit his bottom lip gently and she slipped her tongue into his mouth deepening the kiss, their tongues moving against each other as he tightened his hold on her waist hugging her to him. “I love you Lily” He said low resting his forehead to hers “I love you too Demi” She whispered in reply.

They went and spoke to Carlisle and Esme; telling them that she wanted to remain in Volterra with Demetri. “Hi mom, dad can we come in?” “Of course hunny. What’s on your mind?” Demetri and Lily entered the room and sat on the sofa; Lily took a deep breath and Demetri squeezed her hand reassuringly “I know we are supposed to go home this evening but…I want to stay here. I want to stay with Demetri” “We thought you might so we have spoken to Aro, Caius and Marcus and they have agreed that you can stay here with them and that you are able to leave and come home to us whenever you want” Carlisle replied “You mean you really do not mind?” Demetri asked his friend “Of course we do not mind. You’re mates and shouldn’t be kept apart and with Lily staying here for a little while means the two of you can continue to get to know one other; strengthen your bond” Esme replied “Just remember Lily you will always have a home with us and you Demetri are welcome to come back with Lily with anytime. After all we are all family now” She added smiling and hugging both Lily and Demetri.

Later that evening as they waved off her family at the airport Lily turned to Demetri and smiled up at him “I am looking forward to spending forever with you Demi” “Me too Lils, me too” He replied smiling looking down at her in his arms “Our forever starts now” He adds softly.

[shoutaaizawas]

Can you do 5 and kirishima? I think he would be such a man about it and feel so much pride to eat his girlfriend/crushes food.

You are so right, Kirishima would be so happy to eat anything his girlfriend would cook for him. 

↳ kirishima ejirou x reader → home-cooked meal

event: domestic prompt follower celebration  word count: 1,589 tags/warnings: domestic fluff, anniversary date a/n: this accidentally became the anniversary prompt as well and it’s longer than expected but kirishima deserves it tbh

You were okay at cooking, you knew how to do it but it was a bit overwhelming to prepare a whole meal. It was your six month anniversary with Kirishima and you wanted to do something special. Six months wasn’t long but you had fallen so quickly for the charming hero.

So that’s how you found yourself in the kitchen making a three-course meal and quite frankly you were in over your head. Kirishima loved steak so you decided to go with that for the main course with rice and his favorite vegetables on the side. For an appetizer, you were going to make tempura fried vegetables. And for dessert, you were making a triple chocolate cake. Kirishima loved chocolate so you knew he would love the recipe.

Kirishima would be over soon, you had set the table with candles and the nice dish sets you had gotten for tonight. You wanted everything to be perfect. The vegetables were cooking, the steak wouldn’t take long to cook, and the tempura was ready to fry in just a moment. You put the cake in the oven, by the time it was done you could throw the frosting on while Kirishima picked out a movie to watch.

A knock on the door signaled his arrival and you ran to the door excitedly. You pulled off your apron wanting to show off the nice outfit you picked out. Opening the door Kirishima stood there dressed nicely in a dark dress shirt with the top three buttons open that was tucked into dress pants. You stopped a moment to drool over how good he looked and it seemed he was doing the same.

“Babe~ You look beautiful in that.” He said before pulling you into a bear hug. Kirishima gave the best hugs there was no doubt about that.

“You’re looking quite handsome yourself.” You said returning the hug.

“I brought some flowers, I remember you mentioning they’re your favorite.” He said as he let go of you, holding out the vibrant flowers.

“Eji, you shouldn’t have. They’re beautiful!” You said taking them from his hands. “Let me get a vase.”

“The food smells amazing, babe.” He said following you into the kitchen. “What’s for dinner?”

“Tempura veggies for an appetizer, steak and rice for dinner, and a surprise for dessert.” You told him as you grabbed the clear glass vase out of the cupboard before filling it with water.

“That sounds so good, I can’t wait to eat. Do you need any help?” He asked looking around the kitchen.

“No, I’m almost done with everything. Actually, if you could open this bottle of wine, the glasses are on the table.” You said grabbing the bottle and the opener before handing it over to him.

“Of course.” He said taking the bottle.

It didn’t take long for you to finish up everything and plate it. You brought out the appetizer first before returning to the kitchen to grab the main dishes. You sat down across from your boyfriend at the table.

“Everything looks so good, I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He said giving you that soft look that you loved so much from him.

“I could say the same.” You smiled at him and he returned it, a light blush on his cheeks.

“It tastes even better than it smells!” Kirishima exclaimed as he dug in, you smiled happy that he was enjoying to food. The last thing you wanted was to ruin the meal. You followed his actions and started eating.

After you finished up dinner you wanted to express how you felt, you knew you weren’t always the best at opening up but you needed Kirishima to know how much you cared about him.

“Eji I-”

“I wanted-”

You both spoke at the same time and stopped before bursting out in laughter.

“Sorry, you go ahead.” He said.

“No, you can go first.” You told him.

“No, I insist-”

This carried on far longer than necessary but eventually, you gave up, he thought it wasn’t manly for him to let you go after him. You knew he wouldn’t give up so you took a breath and prepared yourself to say what was on your mind.

“Ejirou, I really have enjoyed the past six months. I’ve been happier than I’ve been in a long time and it’s all because of you. I care about you so much and I need you to know how much that is. I know I don’t always say it out loud but I don’t want you to think that I’m not invested.” You tell him.

“Babe~ You may not always say it but it’s clear in your actions how much you care. But I appreciate you telling me, it makes me so happy. I feel the same way, I can’t imagine being with anyone other than you. You make me so happy, no matter where I am or what I’m doing your all I can think about.” He said the blush on his cheeks made your heart flutter. That genuine smile that showed off his sharp teeth made your heart melt. You loved Ejirou Kirishima, you weren’t sure if you were ready to say it out loud much less to him but it was true.

Kirishima reached into his pocket pulling out a jewelry box, you would have been nervous if it wasn’t bigger than a ring box. He slid the box over the table towards you.

“I wanted to get you something special, to show you how much you mean to me. It’s probably kind of cheesy but I hope you like it.” He said, he sounded so nervous.

You opened the box to reveal a necklace, it was beautiful. On a delicate chain hung a small piece of metal that had the date of your first date together in roman numerals. It was simple but elegant. Something you could wear anytime or anywhere and it would be subtle enough.

“Eji, this is so sweet.” You said looking up at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything.”

“Sweetie,” He said standing up, walking around the table to your side. He placed a hand on your cheek. “Just having you here with me tonight is enough. You made such an amazing meal for me that means so much to me.” He said.

Kirishima took the necklace from your hands, brushing your hair away from your neck he carefully put his arms around you so he could put the necklace on for you. His finger grazed the side of your neck sending a shiver through you as he secured the necklace. He brushed your hair back into place but not before placing a soft kiss on the back of your neck.

“Thank you, Eji.” You said, turning your head looking up at him so you could make eye contact. You reached, placing your hand on the back of his neck so you could pull him down into a kiss. You hummed against his lips, content. You were getting lost in the contact with Kirishima until you caught a burning smell.

“Oh my god, the cake.” You exclaimed pulling back from him. You stood up running into the kitchen. It was smoky as you opened the oven pulling out the pan with an oven mitt. You coughed at the disgusting smell. “Oh no.” You said pitifully.

Kirishima followed behind you, turning on the fan in the kitchen as he entered.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I was making you a triple chocolate cake for dessert but I forgot to set the timer.” You said sadly looking at the burnt cake.

“I’m sure it’s fine.” He said standing next to you looking at it. You gave him a questioning look. There was nothing salvageable from the cake. Kirishima grabbed a fork off the counter stabbing it into the cake. It gave a loud crunch. He grabbed a bite of on the utensil before putting it in your mouth.

“Ejirou!” You exclaimed, staring at him in shock.

“It’s delicious, babe.” He said through loud crunches. His delivery was flawless, he didn’t even flinch at the burnt taste.

“What’s wrong with you?” You said staring at him like he was crazy.

“I’m not going to let something you worked hard on go to waste.” He said moving the fork to get another bite.

“No, stop. You’re crazy.” You shouted grabbing his arm and stopping him from attempting to eat more of the cake. “You're going to make yourself sick.”

“For you, I don’t mind.” He said trying to push back against you, you knew he was holding back. If he wanted to he could easily move you.

“Eji,” You said in a soft voice. He was too perfect. “Please, don’t. You're going to make me sick if you keep eating it.”

“Well, we don’t want that now do we?” He said giving you a playful smile. “I guess I won’t eat more but only for your sake.”

“You’re something else, Eji.” You said moving your hand to run through the back of his hair, where it was less gelled. He smiled at you and you leaned up to kiss him. “Gross, you taste like burnt cake.” You said leaning back from the kiss.

“Sorry.” He said through his laughter at your disgusted face. “You’re just going to have to deal with it though.”

Kirishima leaned down to press another kiss against your lips. You supposed you could put up with it for the sake of your perfect boyfriend.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 29

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: when you quote west side story you do know things are not about to get any better *nervous laughter* hope you enjoy this chapter x

NEXT CHAPTER

The environment was calm with baby blue and white walls. The only sounds existing in the room being that of the machines beeping and the small breathing sounds coming from the two people in the bedroom. It was quiet, very quiet, but the quietness only contributed to the peaceful nature of the hospital bedroom. 

The slight beeping of the door being opened caused the attention of the French woman to leave from her newborn daughter to the man who had just came in holding a bouquet of white lilies. 

     - I didn’t know what type of flowers would be suitable for someone who just gave birth. - he smiled, taking a seat on the cushioned chair by her bed. - How are my girls?

    - I am alright. Ella’s just been sleeping, I think that’s all she does. - the baby sleep peacefully against her chest, lightly suckling on her mother’s pinkie finger without a single care in the world. - Do you know when we can go home? It’s becoming a bit tiring to be in here. 

   - Robin. - the man sighed. - It’s safer for you to be here than to be home. We cannot return home until we’re certain that no harm can come to you or to Ella. 

   - But we got extra security besides ... I sense something bad is coming.

   - That is just your “momma bear” coming out. You’re safe here, there’s staff and security everywhere. 

   - I hope you’re right. - she sighed, looking at the baby. - I really hope you’re right. 

Y/N stared at him with the sort of curiosity one does whenever confronted with a hard choice. She could just end it, she could just put a stop to it and spare Gwen the pain and shame of being cheated on before she even got married, spare Sebastian and her the childish illusions that everything would be okay. She could just end it, she could just run away and start somewhere new but something always stopped it. Turns out, she couldn’t just end it, she couldn’t just stop falling more and more in love with him, she couldn’t just pretend she could just leave and things would be alright. So once again, she’d rather pretend that everything is alright, everything’s fine. 

She took a step towards him, her shoe front hitting his ever so slightly before she wrapped her arms around him, hiding her head in the space between his shoulder and neck, inhaling his cologne. Sebastian relished and relaxed in her embrace, kissing the crown of her head in means to comfort her.

     - Stay. - he mumbled through her hair, holding her tightly in his arms as if she would fade into air if his grip loosened. Y/N on the other hand was again trying to convince herself that there was a place for them, somewhere in time a place where there could be together without any other external factors. Nevertheless, that place filled with quiet and open air seemed to be nowhere near as breaking through those thoughts were the distant sounding laughter and chatting of people inside the dinning hall celebrating his engagement. Her gaze moved from the room to his face, to his beautiful eyes who stared into her with a look of pure naive hope. - Angel, I ...

    - Mr. Stan? - the two of them left the embrace as someone got closer to the balcony, calling out for him. Her gaze left his to stare at her shoes, shifting her weight from side to side as one of his lesser associates came into the balcony, giving the handmaid a dirty look. - There are some people inside trying to congratulate you. 

   - I’ll be right with you, I just need t ...

   - No, it’s alright. Go. - Y/N interrupted him, giving him a simple characteristic smile. She didn’t want to be the reason why he got himself in trouble and she also didn’t want to make it seem like they were intimate to the rest of the world. Sebastian, however, took a double take, wondering if he should stay and finish his sentence but the associate keeping on calling made him leave her there in the balcony.

The handmaid just sighed, leaning against the railing of the balcony, head heavy with various concerns that probably should’ve weight on her decision back when she decided to get together with him. Before she could decide what else to do, Mr. Dubois had joined her in the balcony, offering her one of the champagne flutes that seemed to float around the party. Despite not being in the mood to drink, she decided to accept it anyway. 

    - So, a handmaid? Pardon my curiosity, I have never met one in my whole life. What does it entail?

    - It’s the same thing as medieval time handmaids. You’re by the heiress’ side making sure she’s happy. - it was an over-explanation of what her job truly entailed but Y/N didn’t have enough time to completely go through what being a handmaid truly was like. - You mentioned the Deschamps. Excuse me asking but I’ve been in this environment since I was younger and I never heard about that mob family.

   - Oh they’re not a mob family. The Deschamps aren’t part of the mob however they are rich, they had money even after the French Revolution. They own more New York real state than the Stans so they normally make an appearance at every single event. 

   - I thought the Stans owned all of the Upper East Side. 

   - They wished. - he scoffed. - I remember a time when one of the mob families tried to get an engagement with a Deschamps. Can’t remember her name, though. Rosemarie, maybe.

   - Never heard of it. - Y/N shrugged. - Enjoying the party so far?

   - I didn’t expect Genevieve Forrest to be that frivolous. It’s nothing like her father. 

   - She’s young. 

   - You can only blame so much on age, Miss Y/N. 

The talk was mostly void of interest, just a polite dance she used to do with anyone and everyone who spoke to her. Once the part became too much for her to handle, she took back to her bedroom sitting down in her bed with various questions going through her mind. Her eyes quickly gazed over her laptop laying on top of her suitcase. She shouldn’t, this was just putting herself deeper and deeper down a hole that kept bringing her more sleepless nights. Yet, as per usual, Y/N did not stop herself and soon enough she found herself with her laptop on her lap, Google on as she typed that very spoke about name. Deschamps. As she finished typing that name and pressed enter several pictures showed up along with a bit of information. Turns out Mr. Dubois was right, they were rich, filthy rich and by the look of it, mostly based in Saint-Nom-La-Bretèch. As she went through the pictures, one of them caught her attention as in the picture stood quite a big crowd of people but one woman in particular standing at the front shared a significant resemblance to the Robin woman that had kept showing on Sebastian’s and Mr. Forrest’s attic. However, the golden necklace that now laid in the middle of Y/N’s collarbones was missing from the woman’s neck in the picture.

Curiously, Y/N clicked the link connected to the photo which led to an article about the acquisition of the Metropolitan Opera House in New York. The picture on the article had a legend and as she went through, she reached the name of the only woman in the figure; Rosemarie Deschamps, the eldest daughter of Michael Deschamps. Surprised, Y/N closed her laptop forcefully, hiding behind her duvet like a scared child. It was just in her mind, it was just in her mind, she didn’t need to know, why did she need to know. Even if she was related to the Deschamps she was probably a bastard child whom the Forrests took pity on. 

With those thoughts, she dozed off to sleep. Between all of this and her relationship with Sebastian she didn’t exactly know how she could sleep peacefully and throughout the night she kept somehow waking up in cold sweats. When she finally managed to have more than just a few minutes of sleep around sunrise, a loud knock followed by her name being screamed in a high pitched female voice took her right off her sleeping state. Great. Through her sleepiness, she mumbled for however it was at the door to come in. In came Gwen dressed like a Givenchy model in a harsh shade of green and white. 

    - Y/N, I need a favour. - she sat on the edge of her bed. - I have my wedding dress fitting today but I really can’t be asked besides Christian and I were thinking about going for brunch. 

    - We’re not the same size. - Y/N mumbled against her pillow, sleep trying to fight through her awareness. 

    - Just check if the dress is okay. C’mon Y/N. - Gwen pulled the duvet away from her. - Please, I covered for you.

   - Okay.

Gwen clapped in excitement before pulling the handmaid up to her bedroom which was filled to the brim with people carrying needles and threads along with various swatches of fabric. Before Y/N could question what was happening, she was brought by one of the woman to stand in front of the mirror while another one opened a white box pulling out Gwen’s wedding dress. Gwen was nowhere to be seen, probably already left and before Y/N could even check for that, the dress was being pushed down her, sitting a bit too loose. Her eyes glued to the mirror as she saw herself in the wedding dress, the white fabric almost glistening with the light. It was a beautiful dress, mostly made out of fabric.

  - Genevieve, we need to spe ... - Y/N turned around at the different voice that came from the door. Sebastian was leaning against it, almost sure his eyes were playing tricks on him as he observed Y/N dressed in bridal fashion. - Angel, what are you doing here?

  - Gwen asked me to cover for her. - she didn’t even lie anymore, instead facing him with the truth that he would probably hear from everyone else. - Is it important?

  - PR bullshit, if you ask me. - he took a step towards her, fully inspecting the gown wrapped around the handmaid. - You look stunning.

  - It’s not my dress. - she forcefully smiled, not sure if she should cry or not. It wasn’t everyday that you get dressed in the wedding dress belonging to the woman who’s about to get married to the man she was hopelessly in love with.

Yet again, she kept digging herself a hole which she wasn’t sure she could ever come out from. 

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​​ @xoxohannahlee​​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​​ @nikkipea​​ @madisonpillstrom​​ @cevans98​​ @thelostallycat​​ @sideeffectsofyou​​ @anxiousdreamersworld​​ @captainchrisstan​​ @lookiamtrying​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​ @stuffforreferences​​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​​ @nsfwsebbie​​ @strangerliaa​​ @emzd34​​ @everything-is-awesomesauce​​ @dreams-in-blxck​​ 

[littlekatleaf]

Love's perfect ache

Well look at that, I am alive and I come bearing fic! This takes place after "Offer me my deathless death".

But my peace has always depended On all the ashes in my wake. ~ Hozier, Arsonist’s Lullaby

When Roadhog slides out from under the covers, off to do his usual early morning routine - tea, meditation, some sorta martial arts practice with Hanzo - Junkrat doesn’t complain, just rolls over, curling closer to Lúcio. Shivers a little, but Lú wraps an arm around him and he slides back down into sleep, grounded and warm.

Chills wake him the second time, shivering hard enough to rattle teeth. Sun’s higher now, though still not a reasonable time to wake. Mystery as to why both Roadie and Lú are morning people. Be funny, weren’t so annoying. Least Roadie has the sense to grumble about it until he’s caffeinated. Not Lúcio. Bright and cheerful at the asscrack of dawn as he is midday. Or midnight. Where’d he go, anyway? Junkrat pries his eyes open, blinking against a rising need to sneeze and catches sight of Lúcio picking his shorts up off the floor. “Oi Lú, ya ain’t need to clean up after me,” he blurts, but too late.

The necklace, forgotten until just this second, slides from his pocket and onto the floor where it lays, glittering. Lúcio frowns, scoops it up. Silent as Roadie. Not like his usual self.

“I can explain.” Maybe starting to talk’ll jumpstart his brain because at the moment it’s empty and dry as the middle of the Outback. “Found it during your set last night. Just walkin’ through the crowd an’ accidentally bumped into this sheila when I sneezed. She dropped it an’ before I could catch her attention to give it back she disappeared. Ain’t no way to find out who she was.”

“She dropped it.”

Junkrat shrugs. “Guess I surprised her.” Staying closer to truth needs less creativity. Still feeling fuzzy headed.

“Really.”

“Would I lie to ya?”

“I didn’t think so.” There’s an odd note in Lúcio’s voice. He doesn’t meet Junkrat’s eyes as he drops the necklace into his hand.

Makes a sickness rise in Junkrat’s stomach that has nothing to do with the cold. Doesn’t even want the damn thing anymore. Seemed like such a good idea at the time. “All right, fine. I took it. What ya lookin’ like that for though, mate? Reckon ya know what I do. No need to be a fuckin’ prig about it.”

“I thought I knew what you did, Junkrat.” Lúcio’s still quiet. Too quiet. Junkrat prefers yellin’ and cussin’ - get it all out and over with.

“Look, ain’t like the loss is gonna hurt her. Stupid rich cunt. Reckon she got plenty more where that came from.” Clenches his fingers so tight around the fucking necklace that the stones cut into his skin. Keeps feeling like he’s gonna sneeze, and it’s got him off his game.

Lúcio shakes his head. He's gathering up his stuff - more than just the clothes he’d shed the night before. Headphones, holopad, handheld game, toothbrush. A mug. A buddha. Everything he’d brought to their room.

“Come on, what d’ya want me to do? Turn myself in? Throw myself on Morrison’s mercy?” Even as he’s trying to keep his tone arch, a pit is widening in his stomach. Gotta be something he can say, something he can do to make this right. Throat’s dry and aching and he coughs a little to clear it. Doesn’t help, still tight.

Lúcio doesn’t even look up from his backpack. Just slides in his notebook and a scarf Roadhog made him.

“Come on, Lú. She’s some suit, not even anyone we know. Ain’t no love lost between you and the suits. You really telling me ya give a flying fuck about one tiny necklace, after all the shit they done?”

Lúcio shoulders the backpack and gives Junkrat a long measuring look.

His gaze is so piercing that Rat squirms under the scrutiny. Luckily the feathery tickle that’s been bothering him suddenly spikes into a need. Almost grins but catches himself in time. He wrenches forward with a sneeze, quickly followed by two more. “Huh Iiiishew! Tsh! Isshew! Ugh. Sorry, I…”

Lúcio cuts off the apology. “Save it. I can't believe you’d use that against me. That’s a low move, even for you.”

“Wait, what?” The words hit like a fist to the stomach. Hurts enough that he actually folds his arms over his middle. He blinks, confused at the unexpected attack. “What do you mean, even for me?”

“You fight dirty, Junkrat.” Lúcio sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose. “Look. I knew what you and Roadhog did before you joined Overwatch. I’m not naive.”

“Might beg to differ,” Junkrat mumbles, unable to help himself.

Lúcio doesn’t even bother to acknowledge the interruption. “I just thought you’d changed. Thought… I don’t know… maybe that being around us, getting to know who we are and what we stand for… I guess I hoped that you’d actually changed. Guess you were just using us to stay out of prison. Mei warned me, but I assumed she was being cynical.”

Junkrat opens his mouth to argue but before he can even get a word out, he sneezes. Hadn’t even felt it coming. The usual triplicate. “Heh-Iiishh! Issh! T’issh!” Just finishes one set when another hits. “Heh T’chew! Ishh! Ah-Rrishh!” Only gets a breath or two before another washes over him. “Hih… uh’shhh! Isshew! Huh-Ashhhuh!” Rubs his nose. “Jesus, that coulda killed…” looks up over his sleeve; realizes he’s alone. “Me,” he finishes in a mutter. Lúcio’d gone somewhere in the middle of the sneezing and Junkrat hadn’t even heard the door close. Well fuck.

He should follow, confront Lúcio. Have a proper row instead of this… whatever this is. But he’s tired, still. Not sure where Lú’s gone and the thought of having to traipse all over the fucking Watchpoint to find him feels like too much work. Considers searching out coffee, breakfast, something to soothe the edgy sensation making him want to climb out of his skin. Instead he ends up sitting on the sofa, just sorta staring aimlessly at the spot where Lúcio usually kept his Buddha.

Doesn’t know how much time passes before the door creaks open and Roadhog steps in.

“You’d better fucking apologize to Lúcio, Rat.” He’s got his arms crossed over his chest, doing his best enforcer impression.

“Not so much as a ‘good mornin’, how ya feelin’?” Junkrat snaps back.

Roadhog shrugs, clearly unconcerned. “Afternoon now, and you sound like shit, so you probably feel like shit. Doesn’t make any difference.”

“You’re my bodyguard. Why’s he got you in here fighting his battles for him?” The edge of his own tone pisses him off more. “What, exactly, deserves an apology anyway? So I stole one single, solitary fuckin’ necklace, ain’t from no one he knows, ain’t none of his business.”

Roadhog just stares at him, with his fucking blank-faced mask. Times like these Junkrat wants to rip the leather from his face. Instead he clenches his fists in his pockets.

“Ain’t the necklace,” Roadhog says finally. “You tried to turn him on to get out of an argument.”

“Fuckin’ well didn’t,” Rat protests. “That’s what he thinks of me? That’s what you think of me?” Both of them. Both of them think he’s fucking selfish, that he’d use anything to his advantage, even if it hurt someone else. The understanding is worse than the headache pounding his temples. Worse than the fact that Lúcio left in the first place.

Roadhog’s still stone. And Junkrat’s nose is tickling. Because of course it is. Scrubs at it with rough knuckles, but instead of backing off like it did the night before, it just increased the intensity of the sensation. Ducks away from Roadhog, tries to hide the sneezes in the collar of his shirt.

It’s another interminable round of sneezing. When he finally catches his breath, realizes Roadhog is right in front of him. Feels Roadie’s frown, even behind the mask. Suddenly he reaches out and presses a hand to Junkrat’s forehead.

Huffs a small surprised breath. “Got a fever.”

Junkrat’s turn to shrug. “Told ya last night I was gettin’ sick.”

“Thought you were… exaggerating for effect.” Roadhog has the grace to sound contrite.

“A little, maybe.” Junkrat coughs.

“Not much, apparently.” Roadhog sighs, sits next to him and puts an arm around his shoulders, drawing him close.

Junkrat leans into his warmth, his solidity. “Didn’t want to piss him off,” he says. “Just took the necklace without thinkin’. An’ maybe I was trying to get out of trouble - don’t like to have him mad at me.”

“Not the one who needs your apology, Rat. He’s in his room.” Roadhog squeezes his shoulders once, presses a kiss to the top of his head and stands up.

Junkrat sighs and looks wistfully at the bed. Absolutely bloody knackered, but knows he won’t be able to sleep with Lúcio angry. With one last longing sigh, he heads across the Watchpoint to find Lúcio.

At first there’s no response to his knock. The ache in his stomach’s back, and he clears his throat nervously. Pitches his voice loud enough to carry through the door, but hopefully not loud enough for Mei to hear him. “Oi, Lúcio? Open up, mate.”

Still nothing. Jesus, had he really fucked it up this badly, that he won’t even answer the door? Knocks again, louder. “Come on, Lú, least let me apologize.” Shoulda brought tissues, he realizes as his nose runs. He sniffles, and as he does the door finally slides back.

To Rat’s surprise, Lúcio can pull off a look almost as forbidding as Roadhog. Might be a good bit shorter, and half Roadie’s weight, but he’s channeling the largeness of his stage presence and it sends Rat back a step.

“What do you want?” No welcome in his voice or his posture. He stands in the center of the doorway and crosses his arms.

“Said I wanted to apologize,” Junkrat says, biting off the words. Then reconsiders. “Wait, no. Ain’t how I mean it.” He tries to collect his thoughts, to say the right thing for once. “I am sorry, Lú. For stealin’ the necklace. An’ for tryin’ to take advantage of a situation…” to his utter dismay he realizes he needs to sneeze again. This time he’s got enough advanced warning to actually step back away from the doorway and turn fully away.

Starts slow, just a weirdly spaced out triple. “Huhtshh!... Tssh!.. Huh… ihhh... Tshhhuh!” They do nothing to clear the tickle, he just keeps sneezing. He loses count after nine and by the end of it his throat’s gone raw.

“Saúde, Rat, Jesus. You okay?” Lúcio’s resting a hand in the center of his back, warmth radiates out from the touch, and it steadies him. Luckily Lúcio’s also more prepared, passing tissues over his shoulder.

Junkrat blows his nose, tries to clean up a bit. “Been better. Really am crook. Ain’t makin’ that up.”

Lúcio pulls him into a hug. “Yeah, no shit. I’m sorry for saying that, I know you wouldn’t. I was just so pissed. Come on, come inside. I felt like I got hit by a truck when I was down with the cold.” Draws him into the room. The lights are dimmed, soft music playing, and when Lúcio urges him to lay down in his bed he has to resist the urge to immediately curl up and sleep.

To his surprise, Lúcio lays next to him. They both stare at the ceiling, rather than at each other.

“You lied to me, Junkrat,” Lúcio says quietly. His voice is firm. Won’t take no shit.

“I didn’t…”

“You said she dropped the necklace.”

Fuck. He did. “Just… didn’t want ya lookin’ at me like that. Like you was disappointed in me. Like you was judging me. For takin’ something from a suit. A suit who has more than enough and…” “You have more than enough now, don’t you?”

The question stops him cold.

“You work for Overwatch, you get paid, you get room and board. You aren’t in Junkertown. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to do that anymore.”

For a minute wishes he’d sneeze again, just to have something to break the silence. “And when Overwatch is done with me,” he asks, just above a whisper, “what then?”

Lúcio pauses before he answers. “That’s up to you, isn’t it? Up to you how much you change, and how real that change is.”

[shefanispeculator]

I'm slightly disappointed to log onto Zoom and find Gwen Stefani in Los Angeles. I wanted to see the ranch. Stefani spent most of the pandemic in Oklahoma with her fiancé and fellow The Voice coach Blake Shelton, with whom she has recently collaborated on a string of country radio hits, alongside a kitsch Christmas song. For a ska-pop superstar, it's a pivot, but Stefani and Shelton are cute together — picture-perfect in their opposite attraction.

Country Gwen exists, her urban counterpart assures me, but on this particular MacBook she's nowhere to be seen. I'm not sure what crude regional stereotypes I was expecting (Stefani spitting sunflower seeds? Shelton line dancing in the background?) but I get Californian sunshine instead, illuminating a version of Stefani more familiar from my teenage years, when Love. Angel. Music. Baby and its follow-up The Sweet Escape spawned millions of fans, haters and imitators. She's platinum blonde, red lipsticked and wearing a black-and-white outfit that matches the decor. The checkerboard pattern can be traced back to an even earlier era, when Stefani and her No Doubt bandmates were '80s teenagers obsessed with two-tone acts like Madness and The Specials.

Cowboy boots wouldn't fit this picture, and nor would Stefani's glitzy showgirl outfits from The Voice, where she just wrapped another season as a celebrity coach. As she prepares to release her fourth solo record, and enters the fifth decade of an extraordinarily successful music career, Gwen Stefani is re-re-branding as... Gwen Stefani.

Top: Local Boogeyman, Pants: GCDS, Shoes: Valentino, Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own, Engagement ring: Gwen's own

"But what is that?" Stefani asks with seriousness, as we consider the possibility of some essential, inherent Gwen. "Everyone's interpretation of what I am and how I sing, I mean, that's what this era is about for me."

Said era kicked off late last year, with the music video for "Let Me Reintroduce Myself." It saw Stefani playfully revisit the wardrobes of album cycles past, from the ab-bearing tomboy tank tops of "Hollaback Girl" to the club kid blue hair mascara of '90s No Doubt. Her Harajuku Girls also make a return. The entire visual is a huge flex, not only for the sheer volume of iconic career moments recreated in dutiful detail, but the fact Stefani can still fit into the clothes originally worn during all of them. She looks eerily the same, frighteningly good, ageing in reverse at the same pace as her frequent collaborator Pharrell.

"It's really a blessing to be able to have such a long career, where there really is nothing to prove anymore."

Pop stars are expected to be young forever, in looks but also in their capacity to innovate new trends. Which makes the nostalgic music video a curious choice. Doesn't Stefani know by now that the cardinal rule of pop is to avoid repeating yourself? That even the hottest artists in the world are basically required by law to create completely new eras from scratch every six months in order to appease fans and maintain maximum TikTok-ready relevance?

Of course she does, but that doesn't mean she has to participate. Stefani isn't trying to chase down her contemporaries, despite clearly possessing the physical fitness required. "It's really a blessing to be able to have such a long career, where there really is nothing to prove anymore," she says. "It's a different energy. You know, it's really just about doing it to do it, as opposed to trying to make a statement or make a mark."

Corset: Ronald van der Kemp, Bracelets: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Engagement ring: Gwen's own

Even the Saweetie remix of her latest single "Slow Clap" happened on a whim, after the younger artist happened to post a video of herself vibing to Stefani's 2004 single "Luxurious" on Instagram Stories. They knocked out the song and accompanying video in a day. Neither seems bothered by the Old Navy meme. "It was just this little video that we did on the fly," Stefani says. "It just happened. It just feels good to put new stuff out there."

Stefani completed a two-year Vegas greatest hits residency in 2019, which gave her a sense of perspective on her own legacy. "You make a new record because that's what is exciting for you," she says. "But people really just want to hear the records after a while that were the backdrop to their lives, a 'Don't Speak' or a 'Just a Girl' or a 'Hollaback Girl,' or whatever it was for them. So, you know, it's hard — you can only be new when you're new, and that's just the truth, and I know that."

She says she was pleasantly surprised that "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" charted at all, and that she only found out it did when Shelton walked into the kitchen to show her the iTunes numbers. "I burst out crying with joy, because it was like, 'Whoa, really?' I think I'd set myself up to be quite realistic about where I'm at."

Stefani, endlessly polite and self-deprecating in conversation, which on her end mostly consists of endearingly earnest run-on monologues, says she still has "tons" of insecurities. I get the impression she has been trying harder to give herself credit lately. She recalls recently hearing Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" on the car radio and finding herself in awe of the song's timeless catchiness.

Suit: Balmain, Earrings and choker: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own

"But then I started thinking," she says, in a goofy Cher Horowitz tone. "Like, I have a few of those myself." She talks of this realization as a genuine breakthrough, which is a little worrying for a woman who has sold 40 million records. No shit, she has a "few of those." More of them than Lauper, actually.

More new music is coming along slowly, but I've caught Stefani on a day when the horizon looks closer than usual, and while things haven't quite fallen into place yet, she's feeling more confident that they eventually will. "I'm at the end," she declares. "The idea of going for a session and not being with my kids or the idea of taking time away from Blake doesn't fuel my fire like it did two months ago. I need to decide, wrap it up, put out the project."

Crucially, there's no rush. The album will simply arrive sometime this year, tracklist and title currently undecided.

"You're talking to me at a weird transitional time," Stefani says repeatedly throughout our conversation, which sometimes takes on the cathartic tone of therapy. But having time in the first place is a new feeling.

Bracelet and choker: Dana Kemp (The Residency Experience), Obsession necklace: Lidow Archive, Gold necklaces: Gwen's own, Clothing: Blumarine, Boots: Philipp Plein

NO DOUBT WERE A BAND for nine years before getting on the radio. Enough time for Stefani and bassist Tony Kanal to be in a long term relationship then break up and write a whole hit album about it. All of the Fleetwood Mac drama was resolved pre-fame, which enabled the group to capitalize on the surprise success of Tragic Kingdom singles like "Don't Speak" and "Just a Girl" with a world tour that lasted almost three years. Three more albums followed, and Stefani has reinforced her household name status in every decade since, launching a solo career and multiple fashion lines while never totally cutting the cord from her original musical project.

In other words, record executives have been dictating Stefani's schedule since the mid-'90s. She even sings about it on Love. Angel. Music. Baby opener "What You Waiting For," in which her biological clock ticks like a metronome. Interscope Co-Founder Jimmy Iovine, who discovered No Doubt and continued to work with Stefani on her solo output, was quick to point out that his client's prime childbearing years were also her last opportunity to cross over into pop stardom. And after her first record went number one, it only made sense to lay down some new tracks straight away.

"Whether or not I get the response that I would hope to get — because that's what I'm used to, because I'm so damn spoiled and I've tasted the blood of success — I still got to do the creative journey."

"I had the baby, the first one, and it was only like eight weeks after I had him, that Jimmy was calling me saying, you've got to go in the studio with Akon," Stefani recalls cheerfully. "Like, Akon wants to work with you. Like, no, I'm nursing my baby. But then I couldn't say no." And then? "We wrote 'Sweet Escape.'" And then? "I went on a world tour." And then? "In the month that I got home from that one hundred and whatever shows it was, I got pregnant with Zuma. So then that was that." (It wasn't. Admittedly: "Then it was like, No Doubt, let's do another record.")

Things are different now: "You can just drop singles and you don't have to put a record out. But if you want to put a record out, you can work on it slowly." But even as she talks of slowing down, speculating that she might not even go on tour after the pandemic ends, in the next sentence Stefani's back to admitting that there's more work to be done, that she wants to write a couple more songs for her new record, "just to make sure."

Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience) Choker: Chanel, Necklaces: Gwen's own, Gloves: Laurel DeWitt, Top: Local Boogeyman

"The creation is the thing that fuels me so much," she says. "Whether or not I get the response that I would hope to get — because that's what I'm used to, because I'm so damn spoiled and I've tasted the blood of success — I still got to do the creative journey."

Like any good lyricist, she reaches out to her listener, hoping to convey a more universal point. "It's just probably the same for you as a writer," she guesses. "You know, it's the anticipation. You're in it now. You're getting the information. This is what you live for. You're doing the interview and then you're going to write it. And that's going to be the challenge."

GWEN STEFANI WAS PUTTING out diary entry pop when Olivia Rodrigo was still in diapers and Taylor Swift was but a humble Pennsylvania Christmas tree heiress. She struggles to pen lyrics that aren't confessional ("I'm not a creative writer when it comes to like, 'Oh, let's just write a sad song about something that didn't happen to me'"), and occasionally re-traumatizes herself when performing old hits. Return of Saturn deep cut "Dark Blue" triggers "crazy, just horrible" recollections of a past relationship. Even "Don't Speak" felt emotional onstage in Vegas.

But after releasing an excruciating divorce album, This Is What the Truth Feels Like, in 2016, Stefani is back to writing happy songs only. She's getting married, after all. She won't be releasing any of her trademark breakup anthems anytime soon. "Girl," she laughs, "I think I've had my fair share."

Bow: Laurel DeWitt, Earrings: Lana Jewelry (The Residency Experience), Bracelets: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Shirt: Vintage Archive, Dress: Erdem, Tights: Capezio, Shoes: Marc Jacobs (Lidow Archive)

Stefani and Shelton's relationship has puzzled some fans. Shelton, a country radio phenomenon, never endorsed Trump in the 2016 election, but he did come close. Earlier this year, he was criticized for releasing a song called "Minimum Wage," about finding small joys during periods of economic struggle, at the peak of a recession.

Is Gwen Stefani a Republican now? She's not offended by the question, or really anything I have to ask. She has been famous for so long that she expects and even embraces scrutiny. "If you're going to be a star, that's what you get," she says. "You know what I mean? You get what you get, and you don't get upset, at all."

As for her politics, it's read-between-the-lines."I can see how people would be curious, but I think it's pretty obvious who I am," she says. "I've been around forever. I started my band because we were really influenced by ska, which was a movement that happened in the late '70s, and it was really all about people coming together. The first song I ever wrote was a song called 'Different People,' which was on the Obama playlist, you know, a song about everyone being different and being the same and loving each other. The very first song I wrote."

One of very few multi-racial bands playing stadium shows for hoardes of American teenangers in the 1990s, No Doubt did very literally embody those second-wave ska principles of inclusion. Stefani even wore bindis and saris on stage as a symbol of cultural exchange with Kanal, who is Indian-American, briefly kickstarting a white girl facial jewelry trend that it's safe to say would not fly in 2021.

Rings (left): Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience)

"The Specials and The Selecter and all those groups, and what they were doing in the late '70s was this whole kind of anti-racism, we come together, Black and white ska movement," Stefani elaborates on the band's founding principles. "And we were sort of echoing that in the '80s when we did it, we were like the third generation of ska."

Ska she's always happy to discuss, but Stefani was brought up to keep her electoral preferences personal, and that rule has held for her entire career. "The whole point of voting, is you have this personal space to feel how you feel," she explains. "I use my platform to share my life story and to engage with people and to exchange whatever gift I was giving. I'm not a political science major. I am not that person. Everyone knows that. So why would I even talk about it?"

"I don't need to go on Instagram and say 'girl power.' I just need to live and be a good person and leave a trail of greatness behind me."

It never has been. Looking back, it's weird that "Just a Girl" is so integral to Gwen Stefani's brand. She's never written anything else with remotely the same message, and or publicly identified as a feminist. To Stefani, it's just a song about growing up, and "all of a sudden you realize your gender." It wasn't meant as a protest or anthem: in fact, being her breakout hit, she didn't think anyone other than her bandmates and some local fans would ever hear it.

"I don't even know if I knew what feminist at that time was," she says. "I was very sheltered growing up with my family. I wasn't political. I wasn't angry." Even now: "I don't need to go on Instagram and say 'girl power.' I just need to live and be a good person and leave a trail of greatness behind me. Stop talking about it and stop trying to bully everybody about it. Just do it. And that's how I feel like I've lived my life."

WHEN STEFANI WAS GROWING up in 1970s Anaheim, her father got a job doing market research for Yamaha, which required frequent business trips to Japan. He'd bring home Sanrio toys, as well as anecdotes about the Tokyo district of Harajuku, where teenagers were dressing like Elvis, and "taking all these American things and making them Japanese." His daughter was entranced. "He would be telling me these things my whole life, like my whole life. I had a deep fascination."

So when No Doubt played Japan in 1996, Stefani describes, "It was a pretty big deal for me." The tour was the first time she'd traveled outside of the United states, save one trip to Italy when she was 21. "I just was inspired," she recalls. "It's a world away. And at that time it was even further, because you couldn't see it on the internet. I don't think a younger generation can even imagine what it's like to not have access to the world."

From then on, Japan became one of Stefani's biggest career motivations, especially when it came to her solo albums. If she could just write more hits, she'd get to tour there again, see the street style, visit the vintage stores. "If you read the actual lyrics [in 'What You Waiting For?'], it talks about being a fan of Japan and how if I do good, I get to go back there," she says.

In the meantime, she decided she'd bring Japan to Los Angeles. "I never got to have dancers with No Doubt. I never got to change costumes. I never got to do all of those fun girl things that I always love to do. So I had this idea that I would have a posse of girls — because I never got to hang with girls — and they would be Japanese, Harajuku girls, because those are the girls that I love. Those are my homies. That's where I would be if I had my dream come true, I could go live there and I could go hang out in Harajuku."

Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience, Gold Necklaces: Gwen's own, Top: Local Boogeyman, Pants: GCDS, Shoes: Valentino

Dancers Maya Chino ("Love"), Jennifer Kita ("Angel"), Rino Nakasone ("Music") and Mayuko Kitayama ("Baby") would go on to accompany Stefani for her next two album cycles, dancing on stage and in her videos while also making silent, but very well-dressed, awards show appearances. Kita, who'd grown up in LA, visited Japan for the first time on Stefani's tour.

In a 2006 interview with Blender magazine, comedian Margaret Cho compared the Harajuku Girls to a minstrel show. The backlash against them has been consistent ever since. Stefani, to this day, disagrees.

"If we didn't buy and sell and trade our cultures in, we wouldn't have so much beauty, you know?" she says. "We learn from each other, we share from each other, we grow from each other. And all these rules are just dividing us more and more."

Hello Kitty merch was harder to come by when she was a kid, but in other ways, life felt easier. "I think that we grew up in a time where we didn't have so many rules. We didn't have to follow a narrative that was being edited for us through social media, we just had so much more freedom."

Earrings, bracelets and rings: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Necklaces: Gwen's own, Dress: GCDS, Shirt: Faith Connexion, Tights: Capezio, Shoes: Marc Jacobs (Lidow Archive)

Stefani's penchant for rule breaking has always been apparent in her music as much as her aesthetic. Genre-wise, she's a randomista. The chart success of No Doubt's bouncing ska beats felt like an accidental post-grunge-era glitch in the matrix, and it's insane to this day that one of Stefani's biggest solo hits samples "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof, by way of '90s British dancehall duo Louchie Lou & Michie One. That another, "Wind It Up," features earnest Sound of Music yodeling.

"I just make up whatever comes out," Stefani says of her songwriting process. "I don't even know where it comes from. I feel like it just comes from the source. It's not trained, and it's not perfect, it's just real."

She looks back on the Love.Angel.Music.Baby era as unusually experimental and artistically fulfilling. "It was just a really incredible time, and a very creative time. I feel like it was just a really creative project."

STEFANI VIEWS HER CAREER success as mostly a matter of luck. Pop stardom is God-given and mysterious."Because the fact I made it, it doesn't make any sense," she reflects. "It's written in the stars. You know what I'm saying? I'm not the most talented. I'm not the most pretty. I'm not the most smart. None of those things. But I made it, right?"

Clothing: Blumarine, Bracelet and choker: Dena Kemp (The Residency Experience), Obsession necklace: Lidow Archive, Gold necklaces: Gwen's Own

Every week on The Voice she watches objectively gifted musicians fail at becoming artists. "I watched people that went through that without seeing their faces, without knowing what color they are. And I chose the ones that pulled my heartstrings. And even though they were so talented, none of them have had careers. It's made me look at myself and even feel even more amazed by the fact that anyone cared or cares."

If all of this is actually so out of her control, then Stefani feels safe stepping back a little bit. "I don't have that fuel in me like I used to, because I already won," she says. And now she has other victories in mind. "Being a good human, a good mother. I want to have a good marriage. I want to be a good wife. I want to win at finding peace. I want to win at finding other hobbies that I'm good at."

But at the same time? "If I'm inspired, I'm going to try to do something with that inspiration." That's the most fun part: whatever else comes after has always been an amazing bonus.

The "Let Me Reintroduce Myself" era, whatever form it may eventually take, isn't a desperate grab at former glory. It's Stefani refusing to evolve for the sake of it. She's poking fun at the whole idea of having to compete with past personas alongside current ones, while acknowledging the fact she's grateful to still be in the game at all.

"You don't know what you're doing," she says, somehow both confident and resigned. "You're a cartoon of yourself at this point, and you don't know what people are thinking. They're wondering, what? Why are you still here? And I'm like, I don't know. They said I could be here. So I'm here!"

Photography: Jamie Nelson Styling: Nicola Formichetti Hair: Sami Knight Makeup: Michael Anthony Nails: Carolyn Orellana Wardrobe director: Marta Del Rio Production: Katrina Kudlick Digitatech: Sean MacGillivray Logo design: Luca Devinu Story: Kat Gillespie

FROM YOUR SITE ARTICLES

[dirt-cup-draco]

Cedric x Reader- Dont Leaf Me Alone

hey! may i request something with cedric? a slytherin reader, where he keeps asking them on a date and they're always saying no, and one day he asks them again and they yell at him and he starts crying. so then the readers like oh shit and realizes they like him A LOT and is holding cedric and saying sorry so many times? thank you and i've loved your previous cedric fics! 

March~

You sat comfortably in the clock tower’s courtyard, the stone cool on your palm as you supported yourself. You were lounging, watching as people moved around, buzzing with life and smiling with friends. Your neutral expression soured as you saw a group of people in similar green robes, laughing and taking glances your way. 

You could practically hear them making fun of you as they whispered to each other. The Slytherins you’d once called friends created an ice cold den of snakes as they gathered together and mocked you from a distance. Your boyfriend- your ex- you reminded yourself had his arm wrapped around your friend- that bitch- and smiled as he brushed his lips against her cheek. 

It might have no disgusted you so much if they hadn’t been seeing each other while you’d been head over heels for the bastard. A sweet smile from your friend and you’d so blindly trusted the both of them. You knew better now. 

You rolled your eyes, ignoring the burn as you tried to convince yourself that you didn’t care. It doesn’t matter. It’s been a month. I’m over it. You chanted to yourself as you pulled yourself to your feet. Your people-watching had been completely ruined by their presence as the ice coursed through your veins.

You were still in your sour mood as you tried to drown out the voices behind your back, looking to get anywhere else. It was then that a hufflepuff with a slim build, bright eyes and breeze swept hair approached you, a bundle of barely budding flowers and weeds in his hand. 

“Y/N!” He grinned, long legs carrying him to you before you could turn around and escape in the other direction. 

“Cedric,” You acknowledged with a tight smile. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Cedric, he was sweet. Or he seemed to be. You weren’t sure if it was all a facade, something used to keep his popularity afloat and the girls swooning. You refused to be one of them. 

“Um-” Cedric stumbled over his words for a moment, your less than lackluster greeting tripping him up. He did his best to recover though as he took in your stiff form, your eyes glaring at his rugged bouquet. He hadn’t had much luck turning his quills into anything pretty so he had run out and picked whatever looked nice. He extended his arm. “If you were a flower, I’d pick you,” 

Cedric was hoping for well anything really. What he got instead was an unimpressed appraisal of his poor pick up line, your eyebrows shooting to your hairline as if to say really? that was the best you could do? He grinned at you like he wasn’t sweating bullets right now and waited for you to take the flowers, say something, laugh for gods sake if nothing else! 

“Flowers die when they’re picked Diggory, trying to say you want me dead?” You shot back and Cedric’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. 

“N-No! I was trying to-” Cedric defended but you were already moving past him and when he got his bearings back you were gone. 

What the hell just happened? 

Cedric dropped his head into his hands, groaning as Ernie snickered into his hand. 

“She really said that?” The underclassman continued to laugh softly, his own pride soaring as Cedric got knocked down a peg. “I can’t say I feel bad for you Ced- Y/N’s as bitchy as they get,” 

Cedric’s head shot up as he sent Ernie a withering glare. “Say that about her again MacMillan and I’ll make sure you never say a god damn thing again,” 

Ernie paled and Zacharias cut in. “He’s a prick maybe, Cedric, but he isnt wrong. Have you ever seen her smile? Or do anything with her face that wasn’t a scowl. I’ve only ever seen her happy with that douche she called a boyfriend and even he dumped her for being too icy- or so I’ve heard,” 

Yes, he had. You’d lingered on the quidditch pitch even after your fellow Slytherins had filtered out and the Hufflepuffs got ready to practice for the rest of the morning. A single flower had been blooming, going unnoticed by Filch. It was rosy and bright- a sore thumb- on the otherwise monochromatic green of the field. 

A relaxed, gorgeous, smile had slipped onto your features and Cedric had been lucky enough to catch it as he was the first to walk out. That smile had been haunting him for weeks now, playing in his dreams. He wouldn’t mind being the one to make you smile like that. 

“You don’t know her, leave her alone,” Cedric grumbled to the two boys who were making his miserable day even worse. If he heard Ernie mutter “neither do you, you tosser” and Zach follow with “why even try? she doesn’t like anyone” he pretended not to notice. 

You lay on your bed, staring at the canopy above you, eyes tracing the pattern and losing yourself in the monotony of it. You could pick apart the shapes that had been made into the fabric and create different ones. You snorted as you saw the face of a goat in the shadows of the fabric, as well as a cloud looking swirl and then in the wrinkles of the canopy there was something resembling a flower. 

To anyone else these would be entirely different things- only your eyes saw the silly shapes in the negative space of the velvety canopy. You always knew what was on your mind- or the absence of anything on your mind- when you gazed up. 

Flower. Cedric. Your conscience whispered at you and you squeezed your eyes shut tight like it would vanish that thought of him. 

His flirting had been...endearing terrible. You barely knew him! Why was he talking to you? He probably just wanted to mess around, have another notch on his belt. Cedric isn’t your ex. He could be nice. The kinder, trusting part of you mentioned but you squashed her out. She got hurt too easily. 

Sighing you grabbed your pillow and covered your face, groaning into the fabric. You were tired of people.

--

April~

Cedric had to try again apparently. You frowned when you saw him leaning against the wall, a daisy in his grasp as his eyes found you the second you walked past the doors. 

“Not a daisy goes by that I don’t think about you,” He tried. 

And failed.

You hardly even spared him a glance, blowing air out your nose in a scoff. 

“Have you tried amnesia? I think it would help both of us,” Was all you had to say.

Cedric felt as droopy as the daisy that he tossed to the floor.

--

May~

There was one person who didn’t know how to leave you alone. The first time it had been cute like how giving your mom a macaroni necklace in elementary was cute.

Maybe it was cute because it was genuine. Shaking your head you removed that thought faster than you could blink. Cedric Diggory didn’t seem genuine. His smile was too honest and you feared the lies that could lie behind those pearly whites. His eyes were too pretty and you knew if you looked too long you would become lost, maybe to the point of no return. His voice was too comforting and you knew you’d believe everything he said if you were more naive. 

You didn’t hate the boy by any means but you weren’t looking to make another mistake and you had had enough dating drama to last you a life time. You had sworn off dating teenagers who were just looking for fun and nothing else- it didn’t matter who got hurt in the process. 

You weren’t wishing to be a part of Diggory’s process. 

You thought the closer you got to the forbidden forest you got the further everyone else would be but Cedric still managed to find you as the sun started it’s descent in the sky. You had shed your robe, treating it as a blanket while you lounged in the evening warmth.

 Summer was near, you could feel it. You could see it in the way the students tapped their feet during class, eyes darting to the windows as they dreamed to be out in the clear weather. 

And now you could smell it. A floral fragrance enhanced by the heat drifted your way and when you tore your eyes from the ripples in the black lake where you had gathered pebbles to see how far you could toss them from your place in the grass. Maybe you should start calling Cedric pebble, with how far you keep tossing him away. 

“Y/N-” Cedric smiled as he began his greeting, lips quirked up and expression completely open. 

“Wait,” You interrupted with a heavy sigh. “Before you say anything can I ask why? Why do you keep doing this, bothering me? What has got you so incredibly fascinated with someone you don’t even know? We don’t speak, we don’t share classes, we don’t do anything and that’s how I like it. I don’t care about your fragile male ego, I don’t care that everyone here likes you. I. Dont. Care. So please, spare me for the first time in months and stop hitting on me,” 

The words escaped before you could catch them and as you came back to yourself you moved your eyes from the spot just behind Cedric’s shoulder where you had been focused on to his face. You were expecting a smirk, something deflecting that you had torn him to shreds and that his pride was wounded. 

It seemed in all reality, it wasn’t his pride that was wounded, but his feelings. Something surprising and sharped dug around in your gut as you watched Cedric stare at you with blank eyes, misted over- almost as if what you said had hurt him, the air punched from his lungs and his eyes watering. But that couldn’t be, he was just like your ex (probably), he didn’t care for you (did he?). 

You only then noticed that he had a bunch of sunflowers in his shaking hands, tied together with a ribbon, a little card tied to them. It was a smart bouquet, pleasing to the eye. 

“Um- I-” Cedric stumbled, sniffling as he blinked hard, a droplet falling past his eyelashes and splashing against his high cheekbones. He hastily swiped it away as his face colored in embarrassment. “Sorry then, for being a- for being a bother,” His response was canned, disconnected. It knocked your own air from your lungs but you couldn’t help but sink lower into the discomfort. 

The sunflowers fell to the grass and Cedric nodded once, twice, taking a glance at you as you schooled your expression into something critical and cold. It was his turn to walk away, his heart thumping dully in his chest. 

Cedric was long gone from sight when you gathered up the flowers, brushing the petals with your fingertips before you read the note tied against the stems. 

“You make all my days sunny” Was scrawled messily but earnestly- like someone had tried to make all the letters neat and even but ended up failing- on the thick card stock and you tried swallowing the lump in your throat that began to form. 

You’d made someone hurt like you had been hurt but you were starting to realize that it just made everything worse. 

--

June~

School was coming to a close. You didn’t get any more visits from the Hufflepuff.

--

September~

You saw Cedric as he boarded the train. He’d taken one glance at you and then decided it was for the better. 

--

October~

The leaves had turned brown weeks ago and you wondered if Cedric missed picking flowers. Maybe he was glad to have no reminder of you. You hoped so.

--

November~

You were wrong, wrong, wrong. 

You didn’t hate people, you didn’t hate trusting, you didn’t hate Cedric. You hated that you had chosen to trust and you had been hurt by it. You hated that you had fallen for their lies and their fake smiles. You hated that you had given all you had and then you were left cold. You hated that you had hurt Cedric because you hadn’t known how to give kindness without fearing that it would be used against you. 

Every time you passed by you saw his shoulders go tense, like you were a snake that was bearing its fangs right before striking. Guilt had been steadily pooling in your stomach for months and now it was starting to get suffocating. 

Guilt and loneliness. You had come to look forward to the expected visits from Cedric the year previous, always with a different flower in hand and a new pickup line falling past his lips even when he’d seemed nervous. Now that he no longer came to see you, you missed it. You were the one to chase him off. You reminded yourself. 

You were walking around aimlessly, sweater pulled tight around you as you took in how the flowers had long since wilted as the cold wind shocked them to the ground. Cedric wilted from dealing with your chilly attitude. 

Shut up. You glared into the distance like you were glaring at your conscience. 

Cedric was walking around too but he hadn’t expected to see you, arms wrapped tightly around yourself and muttering to yourself, eyes set forward in a dangerous glare. His heart constricted in the fear that you were glaring at him. 

It didn’t seem like you knew he was less than three yards away from you. This ended when he stepped on a particularly crunchy pile of leaves and you startled like a deer in the headlights, looking even more startled when you realized who it was. 

“Sorry, I’m leaving,” He said quickly but was stopped by an ice cold hand in his. How long had you been out here?

“No!” You demanded. “I mean... please wait?” Your grip loosened as you faltered. You had made a move, now Cedric got to decide if he answered or not. 

Cedric wasn’t sure how to feel as you stopped him. You sounded softer than usual, the edge to your voice that you usually held with him now gone. 

“Why?” He croaked, voice more gruff than he’d wanted it to be as his nerves caught up to him. “I’m sorry for whatever I did or if I made you uncomfortable but I won’t do it again. I got your message loud and clear, Y/N,” 

“You didn’t do anything,” You explained and Cedric couldn’t help the confusion. 

“So you hate me for absolutely no reason?” Cedric laughed breathlessly, in disbelief. You were a rose, but he hadn’t been prepared for the thorns. “Good to know, thank you so-” 

“I don’t hate you!” You interrupted. “I-I messed up,” 

You nervously twiddled your fingers, forcing yourself to continue looking Cedric in the eye. Maybe he would see something that kept him around long enough for you to apologize. 

“That day in the courtyard, you caught me at a bad time-” 

“And the other times after that?”

“I know you don’t owe me anything but please hear me out Cedric... I’m not asking for forgiveness but I do want to apologize and I want you to understand,” 

Cedric sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose but your hope paid off. He could see the remorse swimming around and darkening your gaze. He wasn’t sure if the autumn air was bringing tears to your eyes or if it was your seemingly sudden guilt over how you’d treated him.

“That day, I watched while my ex and my old friends gathered in the courtyard and laughed at me, mocked me, just because they could. I’m a joke to them and have been ever since I found out he was cheating on me with my friend. To them I am the most pitiful person in school, worse than any gryffindor they might have a grudge against. They made me feel pitiful and then you were there being nice and I started to question your motives because I never question theirs and they used that to play me,” 

Cedric’s wary gaze melted away to something closer to understanding and you breathed steadily. You were long since over your boyfriend and you had been healing but it still wasn’t easy to shake that mistrust you had programmed into yourself after all was said and done. 

“You thought I was just another bad guy,” Cedric continued for you and you nodded. “Hence the whole ‘fragile male ego’ thing?” He guessed and you winced. 

“I don’t know you, I don’t have a reason to trust you. But that being said, I was never given a reason to distrust you. I pegged you as something you weren’t.” 

“And what am I?” Cedric asked as you grew stronger in your words, your bottom lip ceasing it’s quivering. 

“Kind, above all. I don’t know who else would have kept trying after my blatant disregard for you... I was hurting so I took it out on you and I’ve had all these months to beat myself up for it. I guess what I’m saying is-” You shuffled around in your pocket, pulling out a wad of unique and multicolored leaves that you had found on the damp ground, the cold not having dried them out yet. “-I don’t want you to leaf me alone,” 

You were waiting for Cedric to do anything, say anything. The silence ticked back as he stared at the leaves in your hands. His nose twitched and he took a surprised intake of a breath. 

Then as he exhaled, his chest shook as he began to snicker. Two short bursts of unbelieving giggles before he was bursting into a more sturdy laughter. You felt small. 

“I-I know it’s dumb, just know I’m sorry, yeah?” You muttered, trying to manage a smile before you turned to leave. 

“Wait! Wait...” Cedric laughed softly but let it die out. “I’m sorry it’s just that was- that was sort of cute. I get why you did what you did, that doesn’t mean it hurts any less but I get it,” 

“Y-you do?” 

Cedric nodded, hand squeezing your shoulder. “Maybe we can start over?” 

“God you’re such a hufflepuff,” You sniffled in shock. He wanted to start over? Of course he does, he isn’t your ex, he isn’t anybody but Cedric. Kind Cedric. 

“God you’re such a slytherin,” Cedric poked back but his hand didn’t move from your shoulder and you appreciated it when he drew you into a hug. You squeezed him back tightly and he relaxed in your arms. He was happy to be hugging you because it felt right but also because you couldn’t see the way his eyes sparkled with unshed emotion. 

The prettiest roses had the most thorns but he didn’t mind the cuts so long as you were there to bandage them back up. 

[ricksbowen]

one more time | pt. 6

IN WHICH: y/n goes out with ej, ricky’s feelings are too much to bear, y/n goes back to the root of her fear of love.

INSPIRATION: everything has changed — taylor swift ft. ed sheeran, atlantis — seafret

WARNING: this has implications of sex. this series is usually heated, but this part has no smut in it. but i will say that everyone here is 18+ and in their senior year.

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6

i need help asap. come over

You sent Ricky that text an hour ago. Usually, he’d be at your house the moment he read it, willing to help out with whatever you needed help with. Usually, he read your texts with a hint of a smile gracing his lips, replying back with some stupid reaction meme he screenshotted off of Instagram.

But when Ricky read your text, his heart plummeted and his mood deflated.

He knew what you needed help with. You had told him everything about your date with Ej, from the time to the places he was bringing you. Dinner, then the movies, then to some of the rarest views in Utah. It sounded like a date that would’ve fallen out of a coming-of-age movie, and Ricky felt like the teenager who got screwed over in every corner.

He didn’t respond for an hour. Ricky kept his mind off of you by writing lyrics in his notebook, guitar in hand as he tried to sort his emotions out. He didn’t want to know what he was feeling, but he wasn’t stupid. Ricky wasn’t blind to the way his heart rate picked up when you laughed, or how an unstoppable smile lifted his lips when you told a terrible joke.

He wasn’t blind to the way he looked at you in a new way when you laid in front of him. You didn’t see it, thank God, but Ricky knew you were going to figure him out at some point.

Ricky prayed that when that day came around, you wouldn’t cut him out of your life.

It took an hour for him to finally drop his things and grab his skateboard. You didn’t live next door, but you lived in the same neighborhood as him. It was helpful for times like these, when one of you needed the other in times of toil ( though this was probably the opposite ).

Ricky walked up to your door, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He raised his fist, knocking at your door twice. He heard you cursing from inside, your footsteps loud at you practically tripped down the stairs. You threw open the door, and Ricky suddenly couldn’t breathe.

The black slip-on dress you wore fit you perfectly, gleaming against the setting sun from outside. Your hair was clipped back with two red clips, and the dangling earrings you wore matched the two necklaces that adorned your neck. Your face was only half done, the powder white against your cheeks as you gaped at him.

“Holy shit, what took you so long?” you asked with an exasperated look, unaware of his lovestruck expression. You reached for his hand, the simple action sending lightning running up and down his arms, and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him.

“I needed help with what I was gonna wear,” you explained nonchalantly, walking up your stairs. The lack of Ricky’s footsteps following yours made you turn to look at him with a frown. “Are you coming?” you asked, worry glazing over your eyes. “You’re being weird.”

The worried tone in your voice made him snap back into reality. He coughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he quickly kicked his shoes off and leaned his skateboard against the wall. “Right.” Ricky followed you up to your room, regret filling his stomach for even coming over in the first place.

“Anyway, I needed your help for what to wear,” you repeated, sitting in your chair and leaning forward to continue your makeup. Your room was a mess, with your clothes strewn every which way and shoes scattered on the colorful mess.

“Obviously,” Ricky murmured, observing the mess and making you snort.

“I found what I was gonna wear though,” you continued on, occasionally looking at him from your mirror. “But since I like you, lover boy, I’m letting you stay.” You grinned at him through the mirror, smile dropping at the disappointed look he had as he sat on your bed. Something was up; normally, he’d respond with his nickname for you, paired with a witty remark. But Ricky Bowen was being quiet, seemingly deep in thought as he stared at your floor.

“What you said that night when I called helped me out a lot.” Nothing. That didn’t get him to respond. “My parents don’t know I’m going out, so this night may be my last.” Nothing. “A girl asked me if you were single today and I said yes.”

Ricky frowned. But the girl wasn’t you.

You resorted to silence, your theories running wild in your head as you finished your makeup. You stood up, brushing off your dress and walking up to Ricky. Wordlessly, you took his hands into yours and held them. “Whatever is happening to you,” you started, making him look up at you. If you didn’t look beautiful before, you looked like a goddess now. “I hope you know that I love you. A whole fuckin’ lot.”

Not in the way he wanted you to.

“Really?” Ricky forced out past the dryness in his throat, the beaming smile you made making him turn into a puddle of feelings.

“Really. And you know I don’t like saying that, so,” you shrugged. “You must be pretty special.”

Ricky couldn’t help but chuckle at that, shaking his head to himself as he stood up. Your hands still held his, his warm ones clashing with your cold ones. “You’re something else, L/N.”

You shrugged yet again, the cheeky smile on your glossed lips bright. “I try. Hey—“

Your doorbell rang. You and Ricky sucked in a breath, both for terribly different reasons, and you pulled your hands away from his.

“Oh, God he’s here.” You rushed for your jean jacket, throwing it over your shoulders. “Fuck, I was so confident until I realized this is actually happening— can you get the door, please?” you asked, not looking up at you rummaged through your closet for your handbag.

The walk to your door felt like a walk straight into death, and Ricky found himself silently encouraging himself before he opened your door. Ej stood outside, a bouquet of crimson roses ( Ricky knew you preferred white ones ) in his hands and dressed in a simple white button-up and black jeans.

“You’re not Y/N,” Ej stated, making Ricky grin and shrug his shoulders

“No shit,” Ricky remarked, reluctantly opening the door wider for Ej. “She’s upstairs,” he said curtly, words short and cold as he let Ej in. Ricky shut the door behind him, pressing his back against it with a small sigh.

The sound of your bedroom door closing made both of the boys look up to your stairs. A grin appeared on Ej’s face at the sight of you walking down. Ricky only stared, mouth slightly agape. He saw you while you were getting ready, sure, but you still made him breathless. You had never radiated so much beauty, nerves, and excitement in your life.

“Wow,” Ej said, making you smile sheepishly as you pressed a small kiss to his lips. His arms snaked around your waist despite the flowers he had in his hands, smiling against your lips.

That hurt Ricky on a whole new level.

“Not too bad yourself,” you murmured, hiding your nervousness behind your confident comments. You looked at Ricky, smiling gratefully at him, yet not getting one back.

“I gotta go,” Ricky mumbled, words quick as he pulled his shoes on.

“Why?” you asked, still in Ej’s arms as you looked at him. “Ri, are you—“

“I’m fine,” Ricky snapped, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he grabbed his board. He saw the way your excited look dropped into hurt, but Ricky shoved off the guilt and opened your door. “Have a good time,” he forced out, slamming the door behind him.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧⠀.

The sight of your profile picture asking for FaceTime yet again made him gulp nervously.

Ricky knew his outburst would raise your suspicions. He regretted it the moment he left, the image of you kissing Ej replaying over and over in his head like a movie. He knew he had to pick up the phone; not picking up would only make you question him more.

He pressed the green button, running a hand through his hair as he looked at the screen. Your face came up, your makeup still on your face and your dress replaced by a sweater and sweatpants. The usual smile didn’t appear on your face like it usually did; you were staring at him with worry.

“Are you okay?” you asked, gazing at him through the screen. “You kinda left in a hurry, and I thought—“

“I’m fine,” Ricky interrupted, knowing fully well that he was the opposite. He couldn’t let you know. He knew the way you’d react, how you’d cut all ties with him in fear of getting hurt yet again. “How was the date?”

“Pretty good! It felt good being out there with him,” you said with a slight smile, and Ricky immediately knew what came next.

“But?”

“But,” you drawled, shaking your head to yourself. “We both agreed that we were better off as friends. It felt weird,” you scrunched your nose in slight disgust. “Like, we were siblings. It just felt wrong.”

It was almost ridiculous how regretful Ricky felt for feeling relieved.

“I guess I’m a little happy. I mean, if it went somewhere it’d probably just end up broken,” you rambled, eyes set on the sleeve of your sweater as you picked at it.

Ricky frowned. Was this how you thought of every relationship? He never saw you as the pessimistic type ( in his opinion, you were more of a realist ), yet hearing you say that every relationship went downhill surprised him. “You can’t think of every relationship as that.”

“I’m not wrong,” you protested, eyes snapping up to him. “It always goes that way. Someone either falls out of love, break up, or they..” your voice trailed off, eyes blanking out for a second as you went into a ‘stare.’

“Cheat?” Ricky finished softly, making you tune back into reality and nod.

“Yeah. Cheat.”

“Luka! I got take out!” You set the food on his kitchen counter, looking down at your phone and laughing softly at the texts from the theatre group chat that you were added to ( despite the fact that you didn’t join the musical ). Luke gave you a key to his house ‘just in case,’ and while you normally didn’t use it, you only used it for surprises like this one.

The silence that followed after your yell made you furrow your brows. Normally, he’d come down the stairs at your voice, saying something along the lines of, ‘Wow, I love you,’ that would make you blush like a schoolgirl. But there was nothing that followed, and you found yourself walking up the steps of his stairs to try and find him.

“Luka?” your voice was hesitant as you peeked into the rooms leading up to his. But as you neared his door with each step, you heard a sound that made your face contort in confusion.

Moaning.

“Dear God, if he’s watching porn,” you muttered to yourself, walking up to his room and slowly opening it. You expected better, the belief of Luka being the perfect boyfriend strong in your mind as you opened his door.

The sight of Luka kissing another girl, her blond hair splayed all over his pillow as his hips moved from under the sheets sent your idea of him crashing down. He didn’t even see you, too engrossed in the beautiful girl he was hovering over as his speed picked up. Her perfectly manicured hand ran through his black hair, the action making you feel sick to your stomach as you watched. You couldn’t tear your eyes away, disbelief, shame, sadness, and anger washing over you in hard waves.

Luka saw you when you gulped. The girl below him let out a loud yelp, her hands rushing at his sheets to cover herself while Luka stared at you.

Tears were rolling down your cheeks, your hands making no effort in trying to wipe them off. You didn’t even realize you were crying, your eyes dead set on Luka’s shirtless form. He didn’t even try and protest.

“I,” you forced out, swallowing down the lump in your throat as tears pressed hard against your eyes. It was all too much, the want to cry and scream and hit him too much to bear, yet there you stood. Frozen like a deer in the headlights. “I wish you the best,” you muttered past your tears, turning away from them and slamming the door behind you.

You drove to Ricky’s that night. You were sobbing, tears falling down your face like a never-ending stream. You hit your hand on your steering wheel angrily, the realization that he never loved you back hitting you over and over. It had to be a joke to him. The days you spent in bed with him and out, laughing and kissing and playing around as if you were both the perfect couple. Everyone else thought you were.

If only they could see you now.

You rang Ricky’s doorbell, the wind blowing hard against you as you stood outside. The sun had already set, 11 PM hitting the clock as Ricky opened the door. His smile dropped at your tearful eyes.

“Y/N?”

You didn’t say anything, only falling into his arms and letting out a sob. You were a mess of tears and cries, your face buried into Ricky’s shirt as you let your emotions out. Ricky brought you up to his room, laying down on his bed and letting you move into his side, your head on his chest and his hands running through your hair.

It was 12 when you calmed down, the tears still falling yet no sound leaving you other than your sniffles.

“He cheated,” you mumbled, sniffing yet again and feeling Ricky tense up. “I saw them and— and heard their moans and I can’t get them out of my head,” you whispered, voice breaking as you spoke. Your arms were wrapped around him, holding him close to you as if your life depended on it.

“What’d you do?” Ricky murmured, silently scheming a revenge plan in his head. He looked down at you, heart breaking at the hiccups and sniffled you emitted.

“Wished them the best,” you replied. “Trash belongs with trash.” You felt a chuckle rumble up in his chest, the sound making a ghost of a smile appear on your lips. Silence washed over you both, the only sound being your small sniffles until you broke the silence. “Is this what love is?”

You sounded so innocent, so heartbroken asking the question, and Ricky quickly shook his head as he leaned down to press a kiss onto your head. “No. Love doesn’t leave you like this.” He sounded so sure of himself despite his past, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to believe him.

You gazed ahead of you, sniffing again.

You changed that night. Your mindset on relationships, on feeling, on love changed that night with one broken relationship, and a new fear bloomed. You were never the same after that night.

Ricky knew that.

————————— 𑁍༅ཾ༚ ————————

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