#did I mention how I would die for that version of fearless? not more than the others but like

[gudvina]

SEVEN KINGS MUST DIE OPINIONS

This post is a series of various ramblings about the movie!!! please do not read the extended version of this post if you want to avoid spoilers! last warning: THIS POST IS BASICALLY ONE SPOILER AFTER THE OTHER!!!!

I had an inkling this movie wasn't going to be incredibly thorough as the series was (and even the series was often a little rushed), but i feel it maintained a strong tie to the series, and while a little rushed it managed to give us some kind of closure.

OPINIONS:

the opening was amazing, loved how it took scenes from the movie and rendered it in the usual opening

Ingrith and Finan were so sweet, i was incredibly saddened that they didn't show them having kids or having more happy moments. Finan's reaction at her death was very sad, and i think it was unfair that we didn't get to know anything about his life post the events of the movie. Good though that it is implied at the end that Finan survives Uhtred.

what about Sihtric's wife/children???? again, we were left wondering about them but not only didn't she appear, his children weren't even in the picture. We are left wondering about them, unfortunately. Good thing though that he survived!!!

We knew baby Uhtred is in Rome; again, where is Stiorra????

Eadgifu's character was put to test this season but i am glad she was consistent with her s5 characterization. she is truly an amazing woman!

Eadgifu and the subtext with Uhtred was something i did not expect but liked! She matched Uhtred's maturity, and I liked the way they supported each other for their children.

Athelstan!!!! okay, while i am disappointed it wasn't Osbert the one to be coupled up with him, i really liked his arc. I love how they explored his feelings over his homosexuality, his guilt and how it tied directly to the story. He acted out of desperation at first, but then came around to his duty and a newfound purpose that wasn't anymore a means to get away from his sins, but something he truly wanted for himself and his people. His complex relationship with Uhtred was shown in a way that for once didn't involve Uhtred behaving stupidly, showing he's definitely grown from the man he once was.

No Hild disappointed me but good for her for getting away from these problems once again!!!

Aldhelm's death:((((

Astrid & Arnalf: now i think this is where the movie threw away its chances of developing a bit more the Dane antagonists! In this season particularly Astrid didn't have any other purpose other than to be the cause of Aldhelm's death, and serve as a plot device to further the story. Arnalf's motivation could have been better explored too.

Osbert's character wasn't very fleshed out, and i disliked that it wasn't even mentioned a conflict between him and Uhtred for the abandonment. Not an explanation, nothing. I do like him though, he reminds me of a younger Uhtred, and I find heartwarming his friendship with Edmund (though even that one is briefly shown).

The end of the movie wasn't bad, though it was interesting. in a way i felt like it was incredibly satisfying, since it didn't show us exactly what happened to Uhtred in the end, though it implied him entering in Valhalla. We don't know what happens after to him, but we know he was loved and he existed, and this series + the movie gives us a glimpse to a secret only we know. Despite it being a rushed ending, i will say that it was a good and satisfying one, and seeing Brida and Ragnar the Fearless truly warmed me. I wished we could have gotten a glimpse of Gisela but oh well, i understand Peri Baumeister was probably busy.

In the end I feel like the main problem of the movie was how rushed it was, and how poorly fleshed out were the characters we were following. That didn't hinder my enjoyment of it, though, and as i said it was very satisfying and in a way i love that we are left filling the gaps they left open.

Is it the best closure to TLK? maybe not, but unfortunately a 2 hour movie would never be able to give all we needed as fans of the serie, so what we got in comparison to many bad movies/sequels out there was a very well made final product.

I feel like upon rewatching both the serie and the movie i will come to love it fully! I have other thoughts, but for now these are my face value disconnected opinions.

I will miss these characters so much, they accompanied me all these years and brought me close to so many people! Hoping to continue enjoying them through the amazing fanwork this fandom continues to create!!!

[thisselflovecamebacktome]

So I’m stealing this from @tayloralisonswift and you should definitely check out their version, but I’m going to listen to and rank all of Taylor’s songs album by album (and then maybe her non album songs at the end). You can also see my debut rankings and what I’ve changed here + my Fearless, Speak Now, RED + 1989 rankings here, here, here and here.

So with that in mind, it’s Reputation’s turn. Only things to note here are that there are some references to mental illness (ptsd, suicidality and depressive episodes), death, sexual violence and addiction. Nothing past mentions, but read at your own discretion. Also, Reputation haters, this is not the ranking for you lmao.

Ready For It: What an intro. This is one of those songs I feel like I like more than most people but it just goes so hard. I love the switch up of production between throughout the song and it's lyrically so good. 9/10.

End Game: I call this my skip of the album, but in reality it's just "I like it less than the rest" territory. Though I do still prefer the Reputation Tour version, this version is still good too (this is going to be a theme on this album because for as much as I love the album versions, the tour versions are arguably her best of all time lmao). 7/10.

I Did Something Bad: So the tour version is superior and arguably her most glowed up song in that way for me personally. But the album version has also grown on me since its release. Deceptively sad ("For every lie I tell them, they tell me three" is devastating to me) and very much a sister song to IKYWT, WAOLOM and ICDIWABH to me. 7.5/10.

Don't Blame Me: This song has probably been the biggest grower for me from this album. It's gone from the "Oh this would work on a Joker movie" song to something I feel is more... relatable isn't the word but I guess realistic/understandable. 8/10.

Delicate: Listen, I understand why Americans are sick of this song because it was a far bigger hit there than here, but I could never hate this song. Like idk I said this when Reputation dropped, but for as much as I had wanted Taylor to make an angry album since before RED, the love in this album really shines and is my favourite part. I will say that I'm still resentful that so many fans did not understand the OG music video (and did not want to) that 1. She felt the need to film that vertical video and 2. I got months of hate for stating that it the original video was about her and her mental health more than a love interest. Anyway, it's still a top 3 song from this album for me so 9.5/10.

Look What You Made Me Do: Reputation tour version my beloved. Again this song has somewhat grown on me but still is not a favourite so the album version gets a solid 7/10.

So It Goes: I am never forgiving this fandom for dogging on this song so much when this album first came out that it was the only song to not be played when tour first came out (and may never get played with its album production where it shines best). Top 5 track from this album for me and arguably the most relatable when the album first came out (girlies who panic that they don't exist if the person can't see them/that person doesn't care unless they're in your company rise your hands and take comfort in knowing that you will move past that - a girl who did move past it lmao). 9/10.

Gorgeous: A sad bop. I always love to listen to this in between Better Man and Getaway Car to tell a story. Also a song that I will always laugh at though because I associate it with one of the worst week's of my life (the week it was released) and the irony that it was the only thing that happened in that period that did not make me want to sink and drown and die. I will spare you all the details, but it was very overdramatic but very real and I have a lot of gratitude but also am awe stricken at how much has changed since then. Anyway, always a good time when listening to it lmao. 8/10.

Getaway Car: This is one of those songs that I don't love as much as everyone else but also do love it and get why it's so hyped. In all fairness, I have very complicated feelings towards the song and how I relate to it, so that definitely plays a role. In saying that, I've started playing electric guitar again recently to try to reclaim it and it's one of my favourites to play and one of many examples where I would love to hear a more rock/country rock version of Reputation. I will also say though that hearing people complain it wasn't a single is always very funny to me because it literally was in a lot of Southern Hemisphere countries. Like I guess that was our bonus for Delicate not doing as well/the timing of tour lmao. Anyway it's a solid 8.5/10.

King Of My Heart: I like this song, but admittedly the bridge really carries it for me. It's still great though. 8/10.

Dancing With Our Hands Tied: I am not a fan of the production for this one, but lyrically I love it. And there comes the tragedy. Because you see, I went to Reputation Tour's Sydney date where the weather was that bad that she had to cut a song, and rather than it being the surprise song (we got 22 which was very nice, but something I had already heard on RED tour) it was this lmao. It is also a song that has gotten me through a lot, especially re: being a carer to my mother during her suicidality so it gets a 8/10.

Dress: This is another song that I feel everyone loves more than I do. Like it's good and I like it, but it definitely was a fan fave at one point and not one of mine lmao. 7.5/10.

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things: I have such a 'it's so over'/'we're so back' relationship with this song ngl. Like either it's fine, or it's THE mood. Right now it's good not great, but earlier this year it would've been higher. 7.5/10.

Call It What You Want: My stan song from the album. When this song first came out, all I could think about is my 17 year old self; a scared little girl who had faced sexual violence + related court case and the loss of two friends to death (at age 15) which sent her into a spiral where she went from the golden + perfectly academic child to an absolute mess of an addict who was about to repeat year 11, but how my partner wanted me anyway, even with the backlash he got, and never left my life (even if we weren't always romantically involved). Today is actually the first day I'm listening to this song since finishing up therapy a few months back, and it's so striking to me and I'm in awe over how far I've come in regards to that. Nowadays, I actually see this more as a parenting song and think about how proud I am of my stepdaughter, and as an extension, of myself. She truly is the one thing I did right which ultimately led to everything else clicking into place and I am so thankful for that. 10/10.

New Year's Day: This was always my second favourite song from the album, but my love for it has just grown with time; and especially this year with personal things happening in my loved ones' lives. I will say though that I still laugh at members of this fandom for sending me hate over me saying that it felt like a song much bigger than just Joe + noted that it feels just as much about Andrea and us, just for Taylor to mash it up with Long Live on Reputation Tour. 9.5/10.

Final score: 124/150 - 82.7%.

[notebookmusical]

Hi! I hope you had a good week too! How are you? Oh that's awesome your Fall Out Boy concert was this week..I was just guessing. That's great, I think they put on a really good show from what I've seen. Wow lol..most shows I go to, I usually don't get home until 1AM at least and usually also eat after. It doesn't matter if it's a concert or musical either..basing it on the last ones I went to. I haven't been to a concert in so long and I used to go to a lot lol. But I'm definitely up way later than 11 most days..idk how anyone goes to bed that early omg! My last concert was eras and I hope I can have time to watch the movie next week. I finally watched Saltburn and Bottoms a bit ago but I thought they didn't really live up to the hype after hearing so much about them but I guess they were okay.

Yes I saw it and I'm really excited. I did not like this cover as much and I think I liked the Albatross one more but everyone loves this one. Based on the titles, I think it is one I'm more excited for and the Manuscript. It's really interesting how they all have the in the title and they seem very metaphorical I guess. I wonder if that's on purpose and there is a connection. This lyric old habits die screaming didn't interest me as much though. The title is most likely a metaphor for depression and what it meant in the old days. She also sang a Clean and Evermore mashup after announcing it which may be a hint if it is about that. I saw the mythology hell hound theory too so I guess we will see. I also like it for being the last bonus track and if it will feel like a closer to the album, similar to Evermore maybe. But it also could be about something totally different! What do you think? Which one or two are you most excited for? I loved that mashup so much but I see what you mean about others. It also means she will run out of more songs faster too lol.

Well you got most right! But my favorite is Love Story forever. It's actually hard to choose a fav from Fearless so I always go with that one and I just love it. Also Teardrops was my fav on debut for a long time even if it's a single. It was harder to say a least fav for debut..I think I would have said the Outside but I knew you liked it lol. The rest of my least favs are ones that I'm just overall meh on and have been for a long time, and the way I loved you fits thatand so does Never Grow Up. But I might like We Were Happy less than it still. It might have been confusing for Red cuz I didn't know if ATW10 was too easy so I put my other fav State of Grace and another least fav, since I mentioned not liking WANEGBT which is Babe. She apparently performed it tonight with a mashup of DBATC. I think that song is also just a little overrated and I liked it less over time I think especially compared to Cornelia Street. Actually my other least fav on Red I have always been meh on is the Moment I knew which is somehow an unpopular opinion. The Lakes could never be my least favorite, and I do like the tour version of Illicit Affairs more now, but I just think it doesn't have enough in the song. Question is fine but I would definitely cut it for any other song from 3AM. It's one of my least fav Taylor songs in a while..and just gives me flashbacks to being made fun of in high school when she sings making fun of you. There is something kinda mean spirited in the song that makes me dislike it and personal experience probably influenced that. Its also always kinda reminded me more of a Maisie song like Outdoor Pool, and it just doesn't work for Taylor. I honestly don't know why it would be someone's favorite, but don't feel bad for getting some wrong.

Anyway okay..my turn to guess! I hope I don't get any wrong. Fav..tied together with a smile, jump then fall, dear John, Sad Beautiful Tragic, new romantics, new years day, afterglow, mirrorball, right where you left me, and dear reader. I think these make sense and my own answers probably influenced the choices on ones I wasn't sure. It's always interesting how we all like and dislike different songs. It makes me more excited for the new album too. Happy March! The album isn't even that far away anymore. I'm going to listen to Ariana's tomorrow and Beyonce is soon after. Also twenty one pilots announced their new album and it's coming out almost exactly a month after Taylor on May 17th so it gives me something else to look forward to. I'm really trying to stay positive and hope it will be a good month. Have a nice rest of the week and weekend!

hi friend!! so sorry this is so so late :( i hope you've been having a good week! 🤍

i usually get home from hockey games at around 11ish which is pretty late for me anyways haha! i start my days very early, so i'm just used to at least ~ being in bed ~ by 11! not necessarily asleep, but i find that being cozy / in bed by then is good for me, especially when i have things to do the next day (which i almost always do). but i'm also just allergic to sleeping in (partially because of the dog, partially just because of who i am as a person) and am always out of bed before 7 at the very latest on weekends and before 6 on weekdays!

i don't think i'll be watching the movie for some time! especially since i've got vancouver at the end of the year. i think i'm just a little burnt out from eras tour (we can still talk about it! just that watching so many streams, etc. is getting to me). but also because i have a busy few weeks ahead! i never got around to watching saltburn (don't think it's my kind of movie) but am actually watching mean girls the musical tonight with a friend! so i'll let you know what i think of it next time we chit chat :)

i think i'm most excited for the manuscript too! i'm actually going to be out of town for the first two weeks of april, so this will be a nice treat to listen to when i'm back — i'll probably listen to it a lot while i'm camping out for record store day! oh i'm so glad i got most of them right! i love every song on debut really but have very strong memories of listening to the outside + tied together + invisible (as well as the singles) in the car, on my ipod, etc. i never thought of question in that way, but i do see how it could be! it really reminds me of normal people, which is why i love it, i think. but it's not in my top 5 midnights (3am included) by any means. andddd you were totally right for all of them! jump then fall was my ringtone for years — one of two ringtones i ever purchased haha.

happy march!!! i hope your march is going well! i listened to ariana's album, and some of it is like 🫢, i cannot believe she has the audacity to say some of this! her enunciation/diction has improved so much though. i love we can't be friends, haven't been able to stop listening to it. and i think bleachers is a grower-album for me, unfortunately it is not my favorite. but i love call me after midnight.

how's your march been treating you? anything you're looking forward to? 🤍 sending you lots of love!! xo

[helie-brain]

Troy (2004)

I recently watched Troy again, and I have to say that I really love the film. I understand that it’s not the greatest film and that a lot of people hate it because it is a horrible adaptation from the Iliad. But does it deserve all of the hate. I mean if you take away the aspect that it is supposed to be BASED OFF of the Iliad, its a great movie. 

The sets are beautiful and impressive.  You feel, or in my opinion, like you are in the city of Troy. Even when it is being sacked, you still get a feeling of how large the city is. Talking about the sacking,  the movie, the directors cut version, did not shy away of depicting how violent the sacking of the city can be; children being burned, women being raped, people hanging and much more. The costumes, even if they may not be accurate, are very beautiful and looks like a lot of work was put into them. Same can be said about the weapons being used. 

The fighting scenes are gruesome, realistic, thrilling and well choreographed. Especially when it came to Hector and to Achilles, it definitely shows why they are the greatest fighters of their time. Without dumbing down the other fighters. For example Hector vs A-Jax, it was a really close fight, with both getting some good punches, but in the end Hector won. And while they were fighting, the rest of the soldiers were fighting and not watching them with amazement. But the greatest fight scene would have to be Achilles vs Hector, no cgi, no stunt men, just two men fighting to the death. 

The characters/cast themselves were great and memorable. You cannot think of Hector without thinking Eric Bana. He played him so well, whenever he talked it felt like an actual leader was talking. Brian Cox was perfect for the role of Agamemnon, at times he was the best part of the film. His outburst were never played as a joke and were never overly emotional. He was not a dumb villain who only had one goal, his moves were calculated and there was always another reason at play. Even Orlando Bloom did a great job at playing a naïve, entitled, most punchable face, which is what Paris was; a prince who stole another man’s wife and started a war that resulted in countless deaths. 

My favorite character would have to be Briseis, played by Rose Byrne. She is a stubborn, fearless, family oriented, somewhat entitled person, who doesn’t want people to die; Greeks or Trojans. And is willing to put herself at risk so others won’t risk there lives saving her. Not to mention I love her dynamic with Achilles. Speaking of which, Brad Pitt did amazing job at playing an annoying, arrogant, childish, warrior with a cheeky heart of gold. Yes I know that in the Iliad or other related books, he has a romantic relationship with Patroclous, but honestly I like the idea that he his cousin that he must watch over. In my opinion it adds more pain to Patrclous’s death; not only did Achilles lose someone he loved but he failed as a guardian. 

I liked that they didn’t add Gods to the film, even though they were a big part in the books. The reason is that the movie would then be more about the gods than the warriors. Meaning that the choices and actions the humans did would not be so impactful since it didn’t come from them fully but were swayed by the gods. Also we the audience would not have much a connection with the humans if we constantly had to go back and forth between the humans and the gods. 

But again nothing is perfect, there are things in the film that I have trouble with. The main one being pacing, I understand that showing 10 years would be somewhat difficult. But make the war last longer than a few days, that way you can flesh out more the relationships and the characters.  Also how passive Helen was through out the film; I mean Hector’s wife was taking care of her child, dealing with the lose of her husband and in the end saving Troy. Briseis was trying to stay alive in the enemy camp. Helen just seemed to be sitting there and only making small attempts to flee back. 

But in the end it’s a film that is BASED ON the Iliad. And the primary purpose of a film is to entertain. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. 

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

WIP Wednesday Thursday

Title: Extraordinary

Pairings: HotchReid (side pairings Morcia, WillxJJ, others in flirtation)

Summary: League of Extraordinary Gentleman/Vampire AU;

Within the FBI there is a specialized team full of an elite selection of people. Unique individuals with very particular skill sets. And their job is to take the unusual cases: the ones that need to not only be solved, but are undetermined if the unsub is human, or something else entirely.

In a world filled with Vampires, non-human creatures, and subspecies unknown, there is only enough information to have them vaguely regulated. Rules that are so easily, and violently broken, all while hidden in plain sight among the unsuspecting public. Unrivaled for eons.

That’s where the BAU comes in.

Official Posting Date: Now posted on tumblr and Ao3, Click Here

Links: (Masterpost) (Snippet 01) (Snippet 02) (Snippet 03) (Snippet 04)

(TW/CW: This is pretty tame, Emily is just a little intense and eager because Spencer is... well, Spencer, and when she realizes all he can do? Oh she is chomping at the bit. Some trance-like things and witchy stuff and Hotch being territorial without being able to admit it.)

(the story so far/what you need to know for this clip at least: this takes place in chapter 02, what you will all see on Saturday evening, and this version is insanely unpolished (I’m about to go through and fix it up and give it a good make-over) but basically this is the first time Spencer is meeting Emily Prentiss and it makes... an impression. Also, Emily has been at the BAU for about 0.2 seconds and Hotch is already done with her. The sibling energy I love to see. It’s also hella long, as an apology for missing last week and being a day late. All you’ve missed is Spencer about ran into Emily turning a corner and she saved him from spilling his case files and coffee all over the floor. Now they are talking)

–

.

“I apologize, I thought you were an intern or still in the academy.”

“It’s alright, everyone does,” Spencer says without taking offense. He wouldn’t have gotten where he was or lasted very long if he did; however, if he had a nickel for every time someone had been surprised by his age, he’d be as rich as Father Rossi. His full hands actually aids him as he mentions, “I don’t usually shake hands with people, so don’t think me rude. I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.” He offers her a smile in exchange, and it is mirrored on her face just as her surprise kicks up another notch. 

“Doctor, my my I am in for a trip on this team, aren’t I?” she laughs, and it’s a melodic thing that stretches over an expanse of time and history. Ballrooms in Russia and palors of France, Elizabethan and the roaring 20’s and everything in between all rolled into one. He’s not sure how he sees it, an impossible thing, but he can read it like a book and that must have something to do with what she is. “Emily Prentiss, it is a remarkable pleasure to meet you Dr. Reid. Now, I have to ask--” her tone is so charming and playful and probing he barely notices the nuance, “And I’m sure it’s taboo around here, but I have to know -- your regeneration process. Tell me what it is or what you do. You look so young.”

“I am young,” he states simply, finally stunned by a question he’s not usually asked. 

“Yes, yes, we all can’t be a thousand years old like your fearless Vampire leader,” she waves off and Spencer’s eyes widen because… he hadn’t known Hotch was that old. Sure he’d said he’d been alive for the better part of a millennia, but he always said it like a hyperbole. A turn of phrase that’s off by a couple centuries. But --

 A thousand years old. 

That would put him… 

God, that would put him alive, as a human, just before the start of The Crusades. 

“Oh, did he keep that to himself? Oops, my bad. Pretend you don’t know. Anyway -- so are you a Shifter? Or use a particular spell? Oh, or is it a curse? I’m fascinated by curses, I don’t use them often myself but the rigidity of terms using a power so chaotic is just such a fun juxtaposition that I--”

“No, no, I’m… normal, human,” Spencer interrupts her, still the smallest bit shell-shocked, but now connects a few dots himself as she speaks. Realizes very suddenly that Ms. Prentiss appears ageless because she is ageless. She’s also a Witch. One of the broadest terms for subspecies categories, which really doesn’t do it justice. A Witch could be a number of things. Someone who uses magic and science and the very Earth itself paired with the spiritual planes to do impossible things. Witches are beings so powerful they should be uncategorizable. Something Spencer is fascinated by as well. He’s never met anyone like Emily. “I look young because I am young. I’m 27, I’ve only been with the BAU for the past three years. I’m a little excited to not be the newbie on the team any more,” he tries to joke, but Emily’s gaze has gone distant and sharp all at once.

“You’re only 27? And you’re a doctor?” She asks in clarification, Spencer nodding along each time. “You’ve been a doctor, since becoming an FBI agent?” 

“Um, well -- I’m not a medical doctor. I do have three doctorates, though; in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering,” he finds himself shrinking a bit under her intensely interested gaze. “What?”

“Chemistry?” she asks, vaguely more distant.

“That was my first doctorate,” he murmurs back, not sure what has her looking so contemplative. 

“You’ve achieved all of this: three doctorates, FBI agent, BAU -- in 27 years?” she questions, a grave yet wondrous sound.

“Technically I did all of that in 15 years. I graduated high school when I was 12,” he manages to do more than mumble, and Emily’s wide-eyed stare has him spewing forth information like it requires an explanation. “I have an eidetic memory, and I can read 20,000 words a minute, and my IQ is 187 so by human standards yes -- I’m a genius, and borderline on the advanced brain developments scale. But I’m still human. Nothing paranormal or extraordinary.”

The pause that follows is palpable.

“Oh,” she says in an exhale, “Oh, you young soul. You have no idea, do you? What you are capable of...” She tilts her head as she steps closer and Spencer is very suddenly aware that he’s not sure she’s blinked since they started speaking about his qualifications. What he can do, how he got to where he is. No one usually shows this much interest, he makes them uncomfortable for reasons he doesn’t always understand. 

Emily doesn’t look uncomfortable, she looks… hungry. 

“You are so very, very extraordinary. Exceptional, really. Look at all of what you’ve accomplished with just 15 years of life.” That astonished sound again, like she can’t believe her luck--

And then she’s in his space, gaze boring into his, and Spencer can see galaxies in the depth of her eyes. His breath stolen from him and feet rooted to the floor. So he doesn’t step away as she leans just the smallest bit closer, words resonating with echoes across ages.

“Imagine what you could do with a thousand.” 

“Prentiss,” the deep voice of Hotch’s monotone (edged in something vaguely aggressive, and more than a little aggravated)  breaks through their moment. The trance fading like a fog from Spencer’s eyes. “No recruiting. It’s in your contract.”

“You have such a gift, it’s a shame to waste it,” Emily whispers in a rush as Hotch approaches them from down the hall. More earnest than intimidating, now.

“Prentiss!” 

“Think about it,” she winks, and then turns to give Hotch a smile that’s all teeth so sharp she resembles a shark. “Oh, what a sour face. What’s wrong? Were you planning on asking him first? You snooze, you lose.” 

“Conference room,” he instructs, pointing the way Spencer had just come. “Team meeting in 20 minutes. Try not to summon anything between here and there.” She sticks her tongue out at him childishly as she leaves, and sends a quirk of a smile Spencer’s direction that shifts her whole expression into something comically entertained. He’s never seen Hotch interact with someone like this, like they were… familiar, even exasperatingly so. The closest in comparison is probably Father Rossi. But this is less like old friends and more like sibling rivalry. 

The space Emily had just vacated is suddenly filled with Hotch, an overwhelmingly welcomed presence and it eases the tension out of Spencer’s spine and shoulders that he hadn’t even realized was there. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, low and quiet. They’re the only ones in the hallway, but secrecy is a hard habit to break.

Spencer nods, still gaining his bearings once more. “I think so. That didn’t feel like hypnotism. I don’t know what that was.” 

“Prentiss doesn’t manipulate minds or the wills of other people,” Hotch tells him, which is soothing if not for the foreboding question of what just occurred. “She doesn’t need to. She can do a lot of things: change her face, her voice, make illusions and talk circles around anyone -- even you.” Spencer looks up to him at that, aware that his level of intelligence is the only thing that keeps him safe from JJ or Hotch’s influence. His mind can’t be bent, or tricked.

“Then what was she doing? I felt compelled but… not against my will. What was that?” he asks, also quiet but much more high in pitch as his confusion turns his voice to a winded sound.

Hotch’s thin, stern frown does nothing to alleviate the apprehension caught up in his chest like a bad cold. 

.

“Possibility,” he states, grim and not liking that Spencer had fallen prey to such a short moment with Emily Prentiss and her promise of what her craft could do for him. Hotch is well aware that Spencer’s gift of soaking up every speck on information he’s given like a sponge isn’t something to let wither and die like so many before him. There’s so much he could do with an infinite life, such as his and Emily’s, but the curse of living forever alone is not something to be taken lightly. And not to be decided by someone who still has so much more life to live unaided by other forces.

However, Emily was right about one thing. Hotch can’t deny that he’s thought about it. More than considered it as a definite possibility. 

An offer, all his own.

–

Tagged list so far: @physics-magic​, @thaddeusly, @ssa-noa, @ssa-sarahsunshine, @tobias-hankel, @reidology, @mintphoenix

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[old-childhood-drama]

Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)

Before dating (May 2008)

We start with the Taylor lookalike

In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin�� Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.

As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.

We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.

Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)

On Tour

Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".

Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.

On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.

She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.

They’re together but they’re not together.

For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.

Now back to the timeline:

Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.

She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.

Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.

On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”

And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.

Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.

The Central Park date (August 28th)

Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.

Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).

These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.

VMAs (September 2008)

With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.

Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.

The Break-Up (October 2008)

Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.

Post-Breakup

The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.

Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:

“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”

“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]

She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]

Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.

So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:

"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “

Forever & Always

Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).

Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure

In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.

You All Over Me

The best and worst day of June

Was the one that I met you

With your hands in your pockets

And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin

But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child

Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then

Mr. Perfectly Fine

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

And I never got past what you put me through

But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"

To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]

Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.

Much Better - Jonas Brothers

I get a rep for breakin’ hearts

Now I’m done with superstars

And all the tears on her guitar

I’m not bitter

But now I see

Everything I’d ever need

Is the girl in front of me

She’s much better

Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.

“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)

Come on, show me how much better you are

(So much better, yeah?)

See you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).

Jump Then Fall

Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.

If This Was a Movie

Baby, what about the ending?

Oh, I thought you'd be here by now

Thought you'd be here by now

According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.

Haunted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

Won't finish what you started

This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.

"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor

Friendlier days are coming (2010- )

I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].

The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".

Holy Ground - Taylor Swift

We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

And for the first time I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story’s got dust on every page

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd…

… Tonight, I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance

If I'm not dancing with you

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].

From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.

Present (2020- )

In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.

Invisible String

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents

[emometalhead]

My thoughts on Red (Taylor's Version)

I really loved Fearless TV, but Taylor outdid herself with Red TV!! I'm seeing a lot of complaints about the production, but I'm loving it!! There's some types of songs I think need to be more basic, but I think this took the album to another level! It added a layer of pop to the album, that as a pop Taylor fan I really enjoyed!!

I Almost Do was already a top song for me, but she managed to make it even more of an emotional experience! Her power!! I was sobbing!!

Message In A Bottle is a bop!! It feels like the perfect Red song to me. I think it's a good transition song between some of the more country vibes on Red and the full pop vibes on 1989. It would've fit well on the original album.

I love Babe, but also I think part of that stems from also enjoying the Sugarland version! I don't like the version of Better Man that Little Big Town did. I really loved Taylor's Version, even if it did take me two listens to really fall into.

Nothing New made me really emotional. It hurt a lot to know even that long ago Taylor was already thinking those things. Reminds me of what she said on Seth Meyers(?) about realizing at that point she wasn't a new artist, and feeling pressure. Like poor thing! I just wish someone could tell 22 year old Taylor that 10 years later she'd still be just as, if not more, relevant. As much as I think that song was important for her to write at the time, I definitely don't think it should have been included on the original Red. The media would not have let it fly. Drinking wasn't part of her image at the time. Though of course it's perfectly fine for a 21/22 year old to drink, and to drink "too much", that wasn't Taylor's reputation. Especially with her already being afraid of losing public interest, she wasn't going to reference something so risky to her image. That wouldn't have been a smart move. Nothing New is one of my favorites now. I do think it represents a lot of the experience of being a woman, even if not in the music industry. I'm glad 31 year old Taylor got to revisit that song, and that we got to finally hear it. With how Taylor currently presents herself to the public, I think now was the perfect time for this song.

I Bet You Think About Me was really interesting lyrically. I am very much not a country fan, but I'm so glad it was a country song. Pop vibes wouldn't have worked thematically. Since country does stem from a traditionally lower class place, it worked well being paired with lyrics of being made to feel intellectually inadequate. Rich people love to pretend their status makes them better, and act like it's wrong to exist without the resources they have. It's also interesting to examine it under the lense of Taylor being so young and dating older men. People find it easier to make young girls feel at fault for their age or lack of experience, rather than examine their own negative role in the situation. For Taylor to have been made to feel inadequate due to her age makes sense. Especially if not everyone she was around approved of her, or her relationship, then I can definitely see people trying to mention things she wouldn't know about to intimidate her..

Now for the 10 minute All Too Well. WOW 😍. I'm in love with it. It is THE VERSION of the song. I mean it! It was so raw. The lyrics definitely hit harder. I love petty Taylor. When that woman goes for someone's throat, she does it with precision. "Any time now he's gonna say it's love, you never called it what it was til we were dead and gone and buried." My heart aches for Taylor. Clearly she was invested in him, and their relationship. She wanted that little slice of validation about where they stood, and he withheld that from her.

The lines about her age hit hard too. "You said if we had been closer in age maybe it would have been fine, And that made me want to die." Plus, "And I was never good at telling jokes but the punch line goes I'll get older but your lovers stay my age". For him to acknowledge that age was a problem for the relationship, and then for her to call out him being willing to have relations with other young women is such a real issue. The fact that he seemed to know it could be problematic for them, but still got into the relationship and allowed her to fall so hard is difficult to think about.

All of the references to other songs, like The Moment I Knew and Begin Again, really helped solidify the situation to me. People do criticize Red for not being cohesive. Though I agree the tracklist can give a bit of whiplash, I would say lyrically it all works together really well. The references to her birthday in All Too Well versus The Moment I Knew connected her experience, but not in a way that felt forced. It just made it more obvious how much this one person and event impacted her. Her saying she's never been good at telling jokes before going into the line about him sleeping with other young women said so much. That parallel to Begin Again's "I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did." hurt me. She was so invested in him that it's obvious she took the things he said to heart. That line felt like taking a piece of herself back. It was like 'whatever, you don't think I'm funny anyway, so here's some irony for you'. I think it was great!

By the way Taylor saying on Fallon that she doesn't think about the emotions on the receiving end of the songs is queen behavior. I'm proud of her for that. After having her heart broken like that, she deserves to be able to take back her emotions and the narrative. I have so much more I could say on the song, but I'll move on. The 10 minute All Too Well thoughts could easily be their own post.

Thank you to anyone that made it through this post! If anyone wants to discuss any part of this album, I'm totally down!! I'd love to give more opinions or talk about things. We can just scream and cry without being analytical too lol!

[spade-riddles]

"Adjusting Expectations" Post

This submission received a lot of responses and 120 notes, so I thought I would compile the comments here.

Anonymous said:

Adjusting expectations anon was so good. If their timetables are right and we do just need to be patient a little longer, can Kaylor please send us a sign? I guess it would be too loud to slip "adjusting expectations" into social media posts, but maybe they could both do something with playing cards? To show they are card sharks right now but they'll find their way home eventually? That would reassure people. And it would fly under the radar.

casuallycruel131313 said:

I agree with a lot of this but I think the main issue right now is that moral and ethical lines have been crossed and there's no coming back from that. In these post-Trumpian insurrectionist times it's unfathomable that they could continue the Kushner narrative I no longer care if or when they come out, I enjoy the music and I'm happy to observe from a distance because I'm interested from a PR/marketing point of view but my opinion of T &K as people has changed irrevocably and I don't see how they can clean the tarnish off.

@theprologues said:

Agree with most of not all if this but I would like to say as a Kaylor the toe Grammy stunt didn’t phase me. I was not crushed by that by any means. I just shrugged and honestly expected it. It was the attributing Betty and exile to him during the LPSS in November that bummed me out and really made me go...really?

rockcrow20 said:

Have to say I also agree with most of this.

I no longer have any expectations on anything changing any time soon and have not been surprised by the recent events its to be expected after everything over the years really

Nothing has really changed (bearding narrative wise) since I fell down the rabbit hole in 2017 (except that great night in nashville 2018 rep)

Honestly I can't say I am as invested anymore about them ever coming out as I was.

I think the wb/Joe thing was the last moment for me and the continual kushner connection just troubles me like many others.

I mean my kaylor motto for awhile now has been hope for the best but expect disappointment.

Low expectations = limited feelings of disappointment.

original-cypher said:

@rockcrow20 the WB was a breaking point for so many. You are absolutely right. There are just so ma'y contradictions that feel like absolute whiplash. (I know I seem to have been the only one experiencing that with Gorgeous but... that was a big one for me, too) But like. You go on a whole PR campaign about speaking up and standing up for yourself. You say you're capable and tired of men trying to take ownership of your success and profit off of your name. And you credit you literal damn work to a bloke? Bitch, 'consistency'? Look it up. It grossed me out. It would have felt iffy if I believed they were real. But since I wasn't born yesterday it just sent me the message "this is how far I'm willing to sacrifice my principles to not be queer".

rockcrow20 said:

@original-cypher exactly why it bothered me and I know alot us so much. Such mixed messaging of being a strong fighting for your rights female and then oh hey let me attribute some of my best work to my pr boyfriend and the pr pics where she is walking behind all the time like 🙄 The Betty thing that was big one for me too!

rainbowdaisy13 said:

This write up and the comments are spot on. I don’t have much to add other than like @original-cypher said, Miss Americana is tainted for me now and seems like at the very least, it was released too soon in the plan. I get we think they have had to pivot but man, that doc, and including her literally saying “gay rights make me me” at the end was such a false flag. To see her wax poetic about not taking shit from men anymore and then see her do the same old hetero weak woman song and dance routine with the WB shit for albums that are of her genius mind has been so disappointing. I still believe Kaylor is real and I hope they get a chance to show the world that. Karlie posting that cardigan pic in the woods before the folklore release cemented for me they are still together. Adding a baby makes me feel all kind of weird ethical things but I hope I live long enough to see it play out and wear my I Told You So shirt 😁

@kellykaylor said:

agree with your post... I dont care about toe stunts but what really pissed me of was hetwashing betty 🤮! beautiful post tho anon!!

roameroo said:

Totally agree with these all comments especially the strong messaging of MA only to turn around & pull that WB = my "bf" crap. I was disheartened by her mentioning him at the Grammy's only bc he's getting credit for sh*t he doesn't/didn't do. That is what irks me the most about this, giving him credit for her life's work.

always-the-last-word said:

Can I throw my pennies in the pool ?? Taylor will put out the big three first Fearless, RED then 1989 that should bring us to about August. This is where the excitement should begin. If Taylor preps and waits for National Coming Out day it's a no lose for her. Lover her money making machine will go through the roof !! If things go bad or good in the public eye she'll have REPUTATION Taylor's Version ready to release. It will be epic and she'll own it and be FREE.

@karlie-what-you-want said:

always-the-last-word I like this take a lot! I try not to be too optimistic but if she wanted to come out sooner rather than later, I think this plan would satisfy both business and PR needs (at least on Taylor’s end). Remains to be seen how Tay will help Karlie dig her way out of the mess they made together regarding the K*shners.

always-the-last-word said:

Always remember that Taylor has a PLAN. Some of her plans are year's old (easter eggs). Taylor's one and only LOVE is her music, everything else comes second. If KK wants to change and be with her full time she'll make moves around the same time frame. That's if she chooses to. In any event Tay will be open and own all her music. I've seen this film before and WE might not like the ending.

chosetherose said:

I’ve been going back and forth for a day trying to figure out what I wanted to say when I reblogged this post. I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I understand I’m owed nothing by Taylor or Karlie. I understand that circumstances out of their control have caused the girls to pivot over and over again.

But, the root of my frustration in the past months stems not from me battling with the trivial (e.g. pap walks, etc.) but with my personal principles. I fiercely believe credit should be given where it is earned and I uphold this in my career regularly. To see Taylor crediting Toe with her art was deeply disappointing. Watch the 1989 and folklore acceptance speeches back to back and tell me it doesn’t upset you. I believe the K******s have blood on their hands and that their actions during the pandemic have killed people. To see Karlie still associating with one of them disgusts me.

I can’t help but think back in frustration - Would you really fall from grace to touch her face? (And in the brilliant words of @9w1ft) But would you die for her in public? I go back and forth feeling like questions like this aren’t fair at all and thinking they are sort of valid. At this point, it sort of feels like Taylor would only fall from grace for her lover if all the stars and facets of her life aligned perfectly. But perfection like this does not happen. Such is life. So why am I here?

I do question why Spade left certain messages in their final days. I am still holding hope a fervent revolution exonerates everyone. I so desperately want Taylor to regain control of her masters or re-records. Maybe this is the plan they thought was best with multiple goals in mind (re-records, having a family, coming out of the closet one day etc). I’m trying to remain patient because Spade told us to trust her endless yearning. But WOW it is asking a lot of us at this point.

Anonymous said:

Despite being a pragmatist kaylor and oftentimes getting into arguments with fellow optimistic kaylors (owner of this blog included) I think it's quite unfair -at this point- to say to the optimists who have patiently sat through the worst kind of stunts with the most terrible kind of people (yes I'm talking about the Kushner's friend group too) that they should have seen it coming. Besides, if it weren't for the optimists we the cynicals would have burned this fandom down by now.

Anonymous said:

Even if we ignore that an insurrection happened partially because of the family karlie's still working for and getting paid from, she literally said before the pregnancy debacle unfolded that j*sh was her last client while talking about cutting hair and doing a cutting gesture. How should we have interpreted that? 😤That a year later she would be more stuck with the Kushners than ever? We don't wake up on day and decide to have unrealistic expectations. She feeds into them. 😠

Anonymous said:

I have no expectation of Taylor coming out anymore. Zero. None. I have no expectation of her dropping Toe or even of Kaylor publicly reuniting. It doesn't even matter that much anymore. But I - do - expect 1 thing. Karlie to drop and completely dissociate herself from the Kushners and this has nothing to do with kaylor. It was everything to do with me being unable to support a person who willfully assists (now using her baby too) and receives money from a family that has made so many suffer.

Anonymous said:

A quick word from an ex-kaylor (who will never become an anti). A year ago, when the Trumps were still in power and untouchable and there was no baby, I was excusing and turning a blind eye to many things Karlie did for the K*shners. Even that dinner in September. I had also made peace with the truth never being revealed. But a year later the Trumps are gone, Karlie is still on full stunting mode now with a baby in the mix, a baby that is already being used by the Kushners, and I've really run out of excuses. Now the only thing that could possibly keep me on board is if I knew there was a good chance that the full truth would come out, so that Karlie's inexplicable and honestly borderline immoral actions could eventually make sense. But as your sub said, this is an unrealistic expectation, thus I became an ex-kaylor and I'm not planning to come back even when they reunite. 😕

Anonymous said:

What baffles me is that Taylor has explicitly expressed her regret about not giving her lover the credit she deserves and her doubt whether fame is worth hiding her true love: "when I walked up to the podium, I think I forgot to say your name", "what's a lifetime of achievement, if I pushed you to the edge". But yet again she didn't do anything to change this. I didn't expect her to acknowledge Karlie, but a nod or at least not falsely crediting her beard would be a good start.

Anonymous said:

1🙁 Let me chime in re: "expectations". I'm one of the kaylors who ever since the pregnancy reveal was trying to tell everyone there's NO way she was gonna dump him soon after birth let alone before that. It would bring too much unnecessary attention and Jerk would have never agreed to something that would make him look like a bad guy/husband. For the exact same reasons, I was also saying there's no way he wasn't going to post about the baby. All the above against the popular opinion back then.

2🙁 So I agree that the day of the birth post was known to T, not the timing though. Simply bc Kushner-leaning outlets made sure to note that detail. If they wanted it to go unnoticed, why draw attention to it? That being said, kaylors would have been more patient with this mess, if Karlie hadn't gone overboard with her freedom "smoke signals" last summer and Tay's "insiders" hadn't been insinuating that the end is VERY near. Both of them SHOULD have known by then how we would react to these.

3🙁 So it's natural that everyone feels played and has no patience for any more bullshit. Another sore point is how Jerk AND the Kushner-Trump klan monopolize the baby news. This isn't just to make it realistic, it's an abuse of Kaylor's baby's name to garner good pr for the worst family in America, with Karlie's blessing. In order for her marriage and split to appear realistic she's putting a LIFETIME burden on her child's back. Unless you believe she's eventually gonna say Jerk isn't the dad.

4🙁 So "we’re in a position we should realistically have been able to see coming". But we did see it coming, that why some made these extreme scenarios, bc this is the worst possible outcome. "Good people try to make it work, even in bad relationships." Ultimately this isn't just a "bad rs". It's a horrific association that should have been resolved ages ago, not one to bring your child into, doom it to suffer a similar fate, and expect people to sit idly and watch. That's what frustrates most.

[marveloussupernerd]

OKAY. The only reason I’m sending this into you is because you seem to also be a fan of Taylor’s music. I hope you don’t mind! :)

This isn’t really a request, more like 2 random HCs I had while listening to Evermore. I’m not asking you to writing anything if you don’t want to. I just thought they were interesting!

Senario 1: what if in the RFA-universe MC was their version of Taylor Swift.

(Meaning her music was known world-wide, she had a massive fan base, she was known for writing stories about her personal life experiences and any album she released would go #1 immediately). Imagine one day she is sitting at the piano writing a song about a young women who turned down her engagement to the love of her life because she was suffering with mental issues (Champagne Problems). IMAGINE how sad the RFA+V+Searan would be when they think she is writing this from personal experience.THEY WOULD BE SO SAD. LMAO.

Senario 2: this one is a little more angsty

Imagine Saeyoung has been working on a task Jumin gave him for the past month. Imagine MC writing Tolerate It while sitting alone on the roof or in their shared bedroom. Imagine her telling herself that it’s all in her head but her insecurities get the better of her. Imagine Searan not knowing how to help but trying his best. Now I’m just sad..... T-T

bOnuS: imagine their reaction to No Body, No Crime. They would be like: “Mc? Did you kill someone?????” Lmao.

Wow genius stuff right here ! Also YES I love Taylor Swift... I have since fearless but honestly I’ve only listened to the entirety of her newest 3 albums oops

This will be multiple parts, also headcannon style? Imma play around w that tell me if you hate it tho

I showed this to my sister (who hasn’t listened to Taylor since 1989) and she goes you NEED to write this

MC is the in-universe Taylor Swift

Part 1: Sad Lyrics

A lot of these are them thinking the songs are about them

Zen (Champagne Problems):

He tries not to bother you while you’re writing

If you’ll let him sing with you to work on songs you’re planning on collaborating w guys on (think exile) he’s so there for you

He loves singing and has always loved your songs

But, as an actor himself, he respects the process and the alone time you need when you’re working on something new !

However

When he hears you singing Champagne Problems

Turning down a proposal because you just weren’t there mentally

Why is he... crying all of a sudden

I’ll tell you why bc if you don’t cry listening to the bridge of Champagne Problems you’re stronger than me

Waits until the piano stops

Then comes in

He has tears literally running down his face

“Zen! Are you okay?”

He plops down onto the bench next to you, pulling you into the biggest hug, which you, of course return

“We don’t have to get married. I’ll never pressure you like that. Are you okay? Do you need to talk about it?” He’s rambling

“It’s just a song Zen”

You have to rub his back to help him feel good enough to get through a sentence without crying

“I thought... I thought that really happened to you.”

Oh Zen, they’re not all based on your personal experiences

“It was so good though! It’s going to have everyone crying. Please tell me it’s on your next album.”

You have tears bc he’s so sweet !!

of course it’s on the next album

Yoosung (Coney Island):

Is dead silent when you’re writing

You literally don’t even notice he’s there

He gets jealous when you FaceTime other artists to work on a collaboration

They are literally so much better than him

And you’ve dated all these famous people

WHY are you with him !?

ANYWAYS

when he hears you playing Coney Island

He’s SOBBING

“Did I do something wrong!?”

“What? No? Of course not Yoosung”

Then why were you singing that

Not everything you write is what you’re experiencing right now

You had to explain to him that that song... you wrote it visualizing the pain you would feel if you lost him

Oh.

For real ??

And then he spirals into telling you how you’d be better off with one of your co-writers or whatever

But... you didn’t write the song thinking about your team

You wrote it thinking about him

It’s hard for him to understand

But when the album comes out... he listens to that song a lot

And still sobs like a baby every time

Jaehee (Exile):

Loves and respects your work

Not all your songs are her sort of thing

You make your newest albums a little more chill so she’ll enjoy them

You’d never tell her that though

You’re literally in a call with the guy you’re collaborating with working on exile

Singing about a failed relationship... for the second time

And experiences with bad relationships in general

It makes her worry that she messed up

Is this about the fight you two had a few months ago!? Did she make the same mistake? Are you thinking of leaving her

Waits until the call is over

“The song sounds beautiful.” Is all she can say

But you know her

“It’s not about you Jaehee”

“I love you like crazy the song isn’t about you”

Needs lots of affirmation bc that SCARED Her

The song is so good but she can’t listen to it more than like once or twice

She’s embarrassed that she thought it was about her

Little does she know you did write some songs about her... but only the happy ones

Jumin (Tolerate It):

He’s been busy with work

Buys a radio station that only plays your music though so he can listen to you all the time

Falls asleep to your singing voice bc it’s so comforting

You’re the media’s favorite couple

They’ve been speculating the two of you have been dating for a few albums now

Paper rings kinda gave it away huh

You thought he was working

Worked through writing a song about love that isn’t well-reciprocated

Honestly... you’re crying while writing it

It’s about an ex !! But also some lines make you miss getting to spend time with Jumin

He just stands there in the doorway

He doesn’t interrupt. Waits until your done

Heart breaks to see you crying

He’s shed a tear or two

Kneels down next to the bench

“I’m so sorry” is all he can say

“No!” Another tear down your face. “It’s not about you!”

He’s gently wiping away your tears

“I haven’t been here enough for you.”

“I’m okay. It’s okay. It’s not about you.”

“But it’s a wake up call. I’m building a home office so I can spend more time with you.”

Not a bad idea.

707 (Marjorie):

IF YOU DONT CRY EVERY TIME YOU HEAR THIS SONG

Again you are braver than me

Anyways Saeyoung can’t get it through his head WHY you like him / started dating him

Your relationship is completely off the radar thanks to him

Which means you DON’T write songs about him much because you don’t want speculation

You wrote this one after you read a sad fan fiction

Sobbing

I literally can’t sing during the bridge of this song I CRY

He listens to you. As you sob through the song. About how the person’s beloved died but they can still hear her and feel her in themselves

He sniffles

Interrupts you partway through

“Baby? Are you okay?”

You sniff and nod

“Is your mom okay? Your aunt? Your friend? Did someone die? Are you alright?”

“Yeah I’m alright.”

But... you’re crying so much how are you okay

“I’m going to need to work on singing this without being emotional” you joke, wiping your tears

“Wait... it’s not my fault right? I didn’t die or anything.”

“Huh!? No. This is about a fanfic”

He laughs, pushes you lightly

“YOU HAD ME WORRIED!”

V (Illicit Affairs):

He sits with you during your songwriting process

Sometimes will even suggest lyrics to you if he’s feeling bold

He’s shocked with how quickly Illicit Affairs comes to you

Singing about breaking off an affair that has torn you apart and feels one-sided and

Uh... are you okay? You never mentioned something like this before

“My Love,” he stops you, “did this happen to you? Did somebody do this to you?”

“Oh. No I’m okay.”

You’re smiling

He was so worried

“And this isn’t about us right?”

Of course not. Everyone knows the two of you are together

“Of course not.”

He smiled. “I was worried about you.”

You giggle, kissing his cheek

“You showed me colors I can’t see with anyone else,” he recommends. “Or something like it.”

“V? Are you okay?” How the tables have turned.

“That’s how I feel about you. All love though. No angst.”

Saeran (This Is Me Trying):

This one is actually about him

You try to only work on your songs when he’s working or when he’s out

You try to spend as much time with him as possible to help with his coping process of everything that’s happened to him

But it’s easy to feel overwhelmed.

He wakes up in the middle of the night with a nightmare

Hears you singing in the other room. He knew you did this at night, it’s okay with him but... he really could use your help right now

Pads over to the door, standing outside until he can gather the courage to interrupt you

He feels pitiful

And then he hears you singing about how you’re struggling with your relationship and everything going on but you’re trying your best

He just sits outside the door. He can’t confront you right now. You’re feeling this way because of him. Maybe he deserves the nightmares

Luckily you’re planning on going to bed and see him when you try to leave the room, curled up on the floor.

“Did you have a bad dream?” You ask, joining him on the floor, pulling him close to you

All he can do is timidly nod

“Come in next time. Nothing is more important than you. I promise you that.”

He shakes his head. “I’m making things hard on you. With your job and your mental health and you trying to help someone so broken...”

His voice cracks. He wants to cry

“Saeran...”

There’s so much you could say.

This song is too sad

Later you’ll add a line about wanting him. Wanting to be with him despite all the trouble

But for now... you’ll be with him

Holding him.

Taking him to bed

Hugging him

Staying awake a little longer just in case he gets another bad dream

You were trying your best. The best thing you could do was be there by his side

He slept a little lighter. It was comforting to know that even though it was hard for the both of you, you were doing it, and you loved him

[kendrixtermina]

Further reactions to "The book of lost tales":

I appreciate that Idril canonically wears armor and does swordfighting.

I feel like I can actually imagine adult!Idril much better now like in armor and with open hair, distraught but ready to fight while babby Earendil does not yet realize the danger...

My first thought is that Earendil was probably cute in that baby chainmail. My second thought is OUCH, Idril and Tuor always made sure their growing baby had fitting chainmail cause they felt the apocalypse might get them at any moment. Imagine that, imagine them having the baby armor fitted every year or so :(

Its fun how much of the basic structure already exists but most of what you'd consider the main characters doesn't exist or is scattered across various minor roles The only Prince anywhere in sight is Turgon - Except for Team Doriath, theyre all accounted for. I suppose Maeglin is kinda there in name only with vaguely the same role & motivation, but looks personality and background all did a 180 since. Luthien is still pretty much "princesd classic" at this point, not quite the fearless go-getter from the final version - markedly this version tells Beren that she doesnt want to wander in the wilderness with him whereas the final one says she doesnt care and its Beren still wants to get the shiny so as not to ask this of her and also for his honor.

I mean in the finished version Id consider the 3rd and 4th gen royals to be the main characters (well, alobgside Team Doriath and the varioud human heroes) and theyre hardly here. Imagine the silm with no Finrod!

Feanor had no affiliation with the royal family whatsoever, and is also generally less super. He's just the guy who won the jewelsmithing competition, not the inventor of the whole discipline. Still seems to have been envisionad as a respected member of the community who gets called to the palace for crisis meetings and is listened to when he stsrts giving speeches. From the first he already has the backstory of going off the deep end (or at least growing disillusioned with Valinor) after a family member is killed by Melkor and theyre still the first to die, but its just some other rando unrelated to the royals

The situation regarding the humans is different - instead of Melkor leaking their existence, its Manwe who explains that the other continents were supposed to be for them eventually. So Feanor goes off on a tirade about weak puny mortals comes off as a more of a jerk unlike in the final version where Melkor barely knew about the humans and described them to the Noldor as a threat. On the other hand in this one, also very much unlike in the finished product, Melkor dupes even Manwe into being unfair to the elves as a whole. In this the final version is a definite improvement, both Feanor and the Valar come off as a lot more sympathetic and though still deceived he's partially right in some things at least, so you have more of a genuine tragedy rather than a simple feud

There is something to the idea of Commoner!Feanor tho. I guess some of this survived in his nomadic explorer lifestyle and how both his wife and mother (who arent mentioned here) eventually were the ones to get that background of being not especially pretty ladies who are not from the nobility but got renown, respect and acclaim for their unique talent and contribution to society, with each having invented things and Nerdanel also being renowed for her wisdom. Hes sort of an odysseus-like Figure in that sense. I suppose later developements necesitated that Maedhros & co. have an army not just a band of thieves, which means they needed to be nobles/lords. That said this being a society where artisans are very respected and half the lords have scholarly/artistic pursuits going, the gap was probably not as big to begin with as it might have been in say, medieval England. Esoecially since Nerdanel's father had been given special honor by one of the local deities and that the social order might have been a very recent thing in Miriel's time. One might speculate that the first generation of Lords started out as warriors during the great journey, or perhaps just Finwe's friend group.

Also found that bit intetesting where the Valar have to deal with the remaining political tensions and effects of Melkor's lies on the remaining population in Valinor... - i guess with the change of framing device it was less likely for news of something like this to reach Beleriand. That, or the existence of Finarfin and his repentance made this go smoother this over in later cannon

Turgon's go-down-with-the-ship moment reaaly got to me. Im half tempted to write a fic where his wife, siblings and dad glomp him on arrival in Mandos. I dont care that none of them exists yet in this continuity i want Turgon to get hugs

I love all the additional Detail that got compressed out in the shift from fairytale-ish to pseudohistoric style especially all the various Valinor magic insofofar as it is compatible with the final version - particularly love the idea of the connection between the lamps and the trees that is now integrated into my headcanon forever

Its actually explained what the doors of night are

If I had not already read unfinished tales or volumes X to XII where this is also apparent, this is where I would say: Ah so the Valar were supposed to be flawed characters. Manwe has an actual arc; by the time he sends Gandalf he finally "got" it. I think in the published silm the little arcs of Ulmo and Manwe are mostly just lost in compression/ less apparent when only some of the relevant scenes got in but not all

It occurred to me way too late that the "BG" chars are the most consistent because theyre at the start and most stories are written from beginning to end. Finwe doesnt get a dedicated paragraph of explicit description until HoME X but my takeaway was that he's described pretty much like I always imagined him anyways/ same vibe I always got from him... charismatic, thoughtful, enthusiastic, sanguine temperament, brave in a pinch but at times lets his judgement be clouded by personal sentiment (though that last bit is more apparent/salient as a character flaw once he became the father of a certain Problem Child) ...i guess this would be a result of jrrt having had a consistent idea of him in his head for a long time.

This means Finwe's still alive at the time of the exodus which is just fun to see/interesting to know... Interestingly he sort of gets what later would be Finarfin's part of ineffectually telling everxone to please chill and think it over first while Feanor simply shouts louder (which is consistent with his actions before the sword incident in later canon where he initially spoke out against the suspiciozs regarding the Valar) - but its not exactly the same, he's more active than Finarfin later in that when "chillax" availed nothing he said that then at least they should talk with the other Kings and Manwe to leave with their blessing and get help leaving (This seems like it would have been the clusterfuck preventing million dollar suggestion in the universe where Feanor is related to him and values him) but when even that falls on death ears he decides that he "would not be parted from his people" and went to run the preparations. I find it interesting that the motivation is sentiment/attachment (even phrased as "he would not be parted from [his people]" same words/ expression as is later used for the formenos situation), not explicitly obligation as it later is for Fingolfin (who had promised to follow Feanor and didnt want to leave his subjects at the mercy of Feanor's recklessness )

Speaking of problem children. It seems the sons of Feanor were the Kaworu Nagisa of the Silmarillion in that originally all they do is show up at some point and kill Dior as an episodic villain-of-the-week. And then, it seems their role got bigger in each continuity/rewrite... probably has something to do with the Silmarils ending up in the title later making it in the sense their story that ends and begins with them. They have zero characterization beyond "fierce and wild" at this point, though in what teetsy bits there is we already have the idea that Maedhros is the leader and Curufin is the smart one/shemer/sweet-talker, though not the bit where Maedhros (or Maglor, or anyone really) is "the nice one". Which I guess explains why "Maglor" sounds like such a stereotypical villain name.

"The Ruin of Doriath" was purportedly the patchworkiest bit of the finished product, but I never noticed and it actually left quite an impression of me upon first reading, the visual of Melian sitting there with Thingol's corpse in her arms contemplating everything thinking back to how they met... she had the knowledge to warn him not to doom himself but couldnt get him to understand it because he doesnt see the world as she does.... After reading this though I wish there was a 'dynamic' rendition that combined all the best bits like, youd have to adapt it to the later canon's rendition of the dwarves, have Nargothrond exist etc. But i mean that just makes Finrod another dead/doomed relative of Thingol's whom bling cannot truly replace, like Luthien and Turin. In the Silmarillion you could easily read it as just an "honoured guest treatment" but here and in unfinished tales I get the impression that Thingol actually did see Turin as a son.

Already you see the idea of trying to make the stories all interconnected but there is less than there will be (the human heroes aren't related yet and there is basically no Nargothrond, which is later a common thread for many of the stories - a prototype shows up in the 'Tale of Turambar' tho complete with half baked prototypes of Orodreth and Finduillas

O boi im not even through yet

[dainty-baneberry]

Prompt #29: Paternal

(Ishgard, in the Far Future in an AU) Starlight in Ishgard was a spectacular thing to behold. The entire city was decorated with colourful lights that glittered off the fallen snow, making a magical scene that drew many to the city of Foundation. Once closed to outsiders the city was enjoying a renaissance since as the go-to Winter tourist location as younger men became the majority speakers in the political arena. Count Artoirel de Fortemps had thrown a soiree that had been the jewel of the social season in Ishgard that had boasted only the most notable attendees, including not only the Lord Commander de Borel and Lucia, Lord Francel Haillenarte and his family but also Alphinaud and Alisaie Leveilleur of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. Vidofnir had been invited, to several peoples amusement but the dragon had declined, to many peoples’ relief. The invite only formal affair at the Fortemps Manor had wound to a close only a few moments ago. The majority of the guests had been seen out. Leaving only Ser Aymeric, Ser Lucia, Lord Alphinaud, Lady Alisaie and Count Artoirel to retreat to the parlor for a after dinner drink. “I am wholly surprised at your brothers absence.” Aymeric commented as the butlers brought in cut crystal glasses of sweet cordials for everyone. Such a lavish, social event would normally be just the place the younger Fortemps brother could be found, digging for gossip and trying to talk Artoirel into funding luxurious upgrades that Camp Dragonhead absolutely did not need. Not to mention enjoying far more of his older brothers very fine liquor than he ought. “I’m not.” Artoirel replied succinctly, wetting his lips with the strong apertif and gesturing for one of the servants to put another log on the fire when Alisaie gave a little shiver. Now grown into a willowy, white Haired elezen beauty, Alisaie had been enjoying Artoirels uncommon attentions that evening, yet had been paying particular attention to the handsome and perpetually single Aymeric. Much to Lucia and Alphinaud’s chargin. Emmanellain presence was notable only by his absence. “For someone who claims to “know everyone” I wholly expected that he would attend. If solely to engage in fishing for gossip.” Alphinaud commented. Barely a boy of 16 when the Dragonsong War ended the Elezen man now stood taller than Aymeric, although not quite as tall as Artoirel. “Fully he is not willing to face his comeuppance. We have a wager that he could not bring to my party someone whom I should know but could not name.” Artoirel explained. “How much does he owe you this time?” Aymeric asked, laughter in his voice, well familiar with the brothers’ ongoing wagers. “Nothing!”  Emmanellain’s voice was heard from the corridor beyond the door. “I owe you nothing! No don’t announce us, you bloody twit, you’ll ruin the surprise!!” Emmanellain burst into the room, smirking broadly and half dragging a tall male child with silver white hair and small, delicate cranial projections behind him. “Forgive my lateness, my guest took a wrong turn getting to Camp Dragonhead.” Emmanellain, his freckles standing out against his cheeks with his excited flush presented the boy to the room with a satisfied smirk. “I would have brought him to dinner but his carriage has only just arrived, I do hope I will not be punished for something I could neither anticipate nor control, Brother.” This pronouncement went unheeded as, mouths agape, the assembled present company stared at this newcomer. Fearless the boy swept some bangs from his blue eyes, revealing candle light orange limbal rings and looked at the assembled crowd boldly. He was obviously a hybrid, the pale scales and cranial projections betrayed that he had a Raen Au’Ra parent but his build, and rounded ears spoke of some kind of Hyur progenitor.

“How do you do?” he asked cultured, polite tones and executed a perfect Fortemps bow.

“Should...someone....call Thancred?” Alisaie questioned in utter shock. The Rogue turned Gunbreaker was the only white haired hyur they knew who had had even a passing friendship with the childs' mother. It could only be one person. They knew so few Au’Ra, and only one with such a peculiar shade of orange on her limbal rings but she had been missing these 11 years past. There had not even been rumor of her sighting and Tataru, who could find information on anyone with enough time, had certainly looked.

They had truly believed her dead, and mourned her as such. Yet, here stood proof that, even if she were dead now, she had lived long enough to beget a child. “Speechless, dear brother? I fully believe you should know our newest wards name! And before you accuse me of over-stepping my position to elect a Ward of Fortemps you can be rest assured he is entitled to it via his Mother's Knighthood.” Emmanellain crowed. “So there.” “Never mind the bet Emmanellain, who is this!?” Artoirel demanded, rising to his feet and fully staring as the others were at what could only be Dainty's son. The boy appeared to be near the age of 10, which would perfectly explain why that long absent Warrior suddenly disappeared without a trace. The boy gave a glance at Emmanellian, who gave him a reassuring nod. “Go ahead, my boy.” The boy cleared his through, standing up very upright and his orange limbal rings fairly glowed, just like Dainty's had once done. “Haurchefant Garlond, at your service. Please call me Hauru.” Hauru Garlond grinned. He liked “Uncle Emmanellain”, much to his Mothers’ annoyance. Although he had particularly enjoyed seeing his Mother slap Emmanellain for calling her “old girl.” “Garlond?!” Alisaie shot to her feet a midst more than one gasp. The silver white hair suddenly made sense and no sense at all. “Impossible!”

“Is this a sick joke, Emmanellain? Cid Garlond is dead.” Alphinaud hissed through his teeth. His tone sounded unstable, and borderline violent. His hand clenched around his glass and had it been of less than superior quality it would have shattered in his grip. Alphinaud had witnessed Cid Garlond die with his own eyes. It was a memory he would never forget, although he may have long wished it. A retaliatory attack by Loyalists of the Empire. The Garlond Ironworks hadn't stood a chance against a rogue Imperial Warship. They had been utterly erased to a man. As sickened by the idea as he was, Alphinaud would not put Emmanellian above happening upon a convenient hybrid child and passing it off as something he was not solely to win the bet. Without a lick of thought for the consequences, so long as he got to show up his older brother. Hauru hesitated, unsure if he ought reassure these strangers of their mistaken beliefs, Uncle Emmanellian had told him only to give his name, and a bow but they seemed so distraught and Hauru had not been anticipating that, thinking it all a very good joke. Fortunately for the boy the lone Hyur in the room stood, moving closer to him for a better look. Her silver armor had been exchanged for a pretty woolen gown in deference to the occasion but her usual silver circlet remained, restraining her bright blonde hair. "Tis my understanding that a body for the late Cid Garlond was never found." Lucia pointed out. It hadn't seemed relevant at the time. The attack, and the level damage so absolute. Several buildings had been completely vaporized, it wasn't hard to believe that a corpse would be too. Lucia drew closer to the boy, noting the shade of his eyes despite the limbal rings. Garlean blue, unarguably “Look again, past the scales. I knew Cid Garlond only fleetingly yet I tell you this as clear as I stand here, this child has his features.” Lucia's words were poignantly true. They had been so focused on Hauru's resemblance to Dainty that they had not considered his resemblance to Cid.

Hauru truly did look as if someone had put Au'Ra scales and limbal rings on a younger version of Cid Garlond. “Master Cid Garlond!” The butler announced smartly, opening the door, unaware that his timing was utterly perfect. The gait was different from the one they all remembered. He walked with a strong suggestion of a limp and the cane he carried did not appear to be solely decorative. The hair was longer, as was his beard, and he was attired in what appeared to be Doman fashions, albeit with a heavy Alpine coat over the top. But the tall, muscular Garlean's smile was unchanged of the passage of years. Merriment dancing in the familiar blue eyes as he entered the room to an audience of shocked faces. “Well, trouble maker?” Cid grinned, addressing Emmanellain as if he were still am untidy youth of 20. “Have you finished making mischief with my son?" "Oh yes! And it was wonderful." Emmanellain chortled gleefully at the stunned faces that swung back and forth between Cid, Hauru and Emanellian before ending back on Cid again. "Cid....." Alisaie managed to gather her wits first. "How? …. How?! …. And why did you not return to us?!" She ran to his side and wrapped her arms around him to hug him fiercely, propriety be damned. “Please forgive us, old friends. The "how" is an awful long story but the why is very simple. Being “dead” was the best protection for Hauru against the Empire that anyone could name.” Cid explained, hugging Alisaie unreservedly. He thought it best that they explain and apologize for their absence from the very start. Cid was confident once everyone understood the motivations for their disappearance they would not fault them for it. He seemed to be correct as a nod of understanding was passed between the Leveilleur Twins. "And what of ... Hauru's Mother?" It was Aymeric who dared to ask what the room was thinking. He couldn't quite bring himself to say her name. He had loved her so once, a lifetime ago. "It was Dainty, wasn't it?" Alphinaud questioned, his tone more of a demand than he intended. It could only have been Dainty. Hauru's colouring and name made that inarguable but that didn't mean the Au Ra was alive. "Is Dainty." Cid corrected the Elezen reassuringly, before nodding to Aymeric. "She stopped in to pay her respects at Providence Point alone. You know she never was one for emotional scenes."

[hanbeihood]

A D&D 5e Build: Ron Stoppable

I did one of these sometime last year for Halloween and just wanted to do another, so here it is. First up: Why am I attempting to build Ron and /not/ KP? Simply put, Kim is a fairly straight forward build in 5e terms. She’s an Inquisitive Rogue with a single dip into Monk. You could give her some Fighter levels (that UA Unarmed Fighting Style is so tempting) to keep up with Shego’s combat prowess, but her brain is honestly her key feature, making those Rogue levels very valuable (11 at minimum as far as I’m concerned). She’s you’re basic, average girl, and she’s here to save the world. Ronald, on the other hand, is remarkable by just how unremarkable he is while still somehow keeping up with Kim. Barely. For those who didn’t watch Kim Possible when they were younger or don’t have Disney+, he might not even seem like an adventurer. But Ron’s amazing in game terms; he’s at that level of naco cheesiness I just love to play. Plus, he has Rufus, and everyone loves Rufus. Spoilers may appear.

Let’s get into it:

I’m going to be using the standard point array from the PHB. If you would like to roll for stats, just keep in mind where to put your higher and lower rolls.

Ron’s 15 is going into Wisdom. He may seem like a totally inept doof, but he’s incredibly insightful and holds onto his own philosophies. Also, his best friend aside from KP is a naked mole rat (a very smart one at that, but that’s cartoon logic). I’m going to put 14 in Charisma. Ron isn’t intended on being conventionally attractive, but Charisma =/= being hot. It’s all about your presence and ability to get people to listen to you and consider what you’re saying. Ron is somehow able to casually talk with so many villains, so his CHA must be high. Also, he’s an honorary Pixie Scout. 13 is going straight into Constitution. He is R-unstoppable after all... He can take a real beating from even the more threatening foes and eats so many nacos that an above average CON is the only reason he hasn’t been hospitalized for his diet. I’ll give 12 to his Dexterity. He’s dodged lasers, booby traps, and incoming fire from all sorts of things. An adolescence of fighting robots and super-humans will leave you light on your feet and your hands. This may sound weird, but I’m giving his Strength the 10. He’s worked in retail and has lugged around some pretty heavy looking things. And that leaves Intelligence with 8. Ron isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. He says good stuff, but don’t ask him to tutor you for the upcoming exam unless it’s a subject he excels at without question. I know he was kind of a genius when he became evil that one time, but I’m going to rationalize that as his INT & WIS swapping places when his alignment got shifted. Ron’s a Neutral Good guy with Chaotic leanings, so going Evil is bound to mess with your brain in more ways than one.

STR 10 || DEX 12 || CON 13 || INT 8 || WIS 15 || CHA 14

Ron’s a Human of the Variant variety, but if you want to play him as a Bugbear, that’s cool I guess. I’m not your dad. I’m going to bump up his WIS to 16 and CON to 14. And I’m going to give him the Magic Initiate (Wizard) feat. Prestidigitation & Mending can reflect parts of his Movie Makeup Magic Kit, but I’m really taking this feat for Find Familiar so we can have Rufus right off the bat. He’ll also get the Animal Handling skill because Rufus loves him.

For his Background, I’m going with Entertainer for proficiency with Acrobatics, Performance, Disguise Kits, & a musical instrument of your choice. This solidifies his place as the Middleton Mad Dog mascot, the costume of which he made using his MMMK, and he has disguised himself as Mr. Dr. Possible & The Fearless Ferret. However, if you feel that the By Popular Demand feature doesn’t fit Ron quite right, go with the Rustic Hospitality feature from the Folk Hero background.

Oh boy, time for the class.

Ron is a Monk, first and foremost. Despite his clumsy, slacker nature, he’s incredible capable when it comes to dodging blows from Shego & Kim even with his hands behind his back. In addition to Martial Arts & Unarmored Defense, he’ll receive proficiency in Cooking Utensils, Insight, Stealth. He will continue down this class for some time, but what kind of Monk would he be? In the show, he eventually becomes the Supreme Monkey Master as recognized by Master Sensei (I know what you’re thinking.), so we should probably begin with looking for which subclass could best emulate Monkey Kung Fu.

There is a lot of history when it comes to Kung Fu, more than I’m going to type out. That’s not even to mention the 5 variations of the Tai Shing system. I bring this up because Ron’s arch-nemesis, Monkey Fist, is a pracitioner of Tai Shing Pek Kwar and probably would be best described as a user of Wooden Monkey. However, the beauty of 5e is that many different martial art styles can be emulated based on how you use your action economy and describe your attacks & movements. Flavor is everything.

If I were to put all the Monkey magic from the show aside, I would guess Ron could pass as a user of various styles due to him not being nearly trained as much as Monkey Fist in a particular discipline. For D&D 5e, he could be seen as a Drunken Master or Open Hand Monk, but he does have that Monkey magic, putting Four Elements on the table even if we want to say the more mystical side of his simian abilities are due to multiclassing.

At 2nd level, Ron gets access to Ki Points that he can use for Flurry of Blows, Step of the Wind, or Patient Defense. PD is especially handy for the sidekick who would rather avoid danger. He also gets Unarmored Movement which is incredibly useful for a guy like Ron. His running ability landed him a spot on the Middleton High School American football team. Crazy right?

With all that out of the way, I’m going to say once he reaches 3rd level of Monk, Ron will adopt the Way of the Four Elements, learning Elemental Attunement (a more elemental version of Prestidigitation that we can swap out later) & one other viable Four Elements Discipline of your choice. Fist of Unbroken Air is a great option for pushing a foe back while dealing damage. He also gets the ability to Deflect Missiles which is always good.

4th level Monks get the option for an Ability Score Increase or a feat. Take the Lucky feat. It’s honestly super impressive that Ron survived so long fighting baddies before he started his martial arts training. Remember, Kim Possible is one of those shows that has stuff going on off-screen, so there have been many missions between the episodes we see. Monks get Slow Fall here too; Ron falls a lot and this may be how he’s avoided concussions when he should clearly get one.

5th level gives Ron an Extra Attack and Stunning Strike. The best way to avoid a punch is to insure your opponent can’t even throw one. Also, your Martial Arts die is now a d6.

At 6th level, Ron can gain a new 4EleDis as well as swap one out for another. Drop Elemental Attument like I mentioned earlier for Gong of the Summit. This allows you to cast Shatter, and we can flavor this to be a sort of mystical monkey screech. Pick up Clench of the North Wind so you can cast Hold Person; KP will have an easier time boppin’ bad guys when they aren’t moving. Also, your unarmed strikes are now magical when it comes to overcoming resistance and immunity against non-magical attacks & damage. Talk about that Ron factor.

7th level Monks get Evasion for even more ways to avoid danger & Stillness of Mind; he may seem like a coward, but Ron Stoppable won’t be swayed into abandoning his friends.

8th level gives Ron another chance for an ASI/feat. Bump up DEX by 2 to 14 so you can start dealing more damage and have a higher AC. 15 isn’t great but PD has probably served you well if you’ve survived this long.

At 9th level, Ron’s Unarmored Movement is improved so you can have him run along walls or over liquids as long as you keep moving. This isn’t super in-character, but it’s useful.

10th level of Monk gives our boy Purity of Body, making him immune to disease and poison. Looks like he won’t be able to miss school unless he fakes being sick.

11th level is really what we wanted from the Four Elements because now Ron can use Ride the Wind to cast Fly on himself like the Supreme Monkey Master he is. Plus, his Martial Arts die is a d8 now.

For 12th level, we have another ASI/feat opportunity, so that’s another +2 to Ron’s Dexterity for a 16. This gives him an AC of 16 with the ability to take the Dodge action as a bonus action with PD.

I’m going stop here with this build because I think this is a solid place that could potentially coincide with the show, but if you want to take Ron to 20th level, Monks do get two more ASI/feat opportunities at 16th & 19th level. Use these chances to bump up your DEX & WIS to 18 each, or make one of those a 20. Four Elements Monks also get one more Discipline they can take at 17th level; Ron would probably take the Fist of Four Thunders in order to cast Thunderwave. However, if you don’t want to continue levels in Monk, almost any subclass of Fighter or Thief/Swashbuckler Rogue (if your DM is cool with Martial Arts counting towards Sneak Attack) could be viable.

If you decided to opt out of the Magic Initiate feat I took at 1st level, you could easily just take the pet mouse from the Urchin background equipment. Or you could make Rufus a player character with an Awakened Rat as the race if you want him to be more involved.

[linphd]

husband!shoto x wife!reader | i will always think of you [angst]

shoto todoroki x reader

female reader

based on the 2nd episode from the 4th season of Bojack Horseman

Shoto’s widow dealing with the memories of her husband, while having a son looking just like him.

warning : angst, mention of death and medicine.

i will always think of you is a song featured in this episode, however, I’m translating the french version instead of directly using the english version in there because the lyrics change a bit and it fits more.

You’re always here, to please me.

You warm my heart, even in winter.

Being the number 3rd hero, Shoto never ran away from danger, even if it was so bad it could’ve taken his life away. And even if it scared you, you actually loved that about him. He was fearless. What you also loved about him was his two sides. He could warm you up when you were cold, and cool you down when you were hot. And you loved his both sides equally.

There weren’t much things you didn’t like about your perfect husband. Actually, what you could have reproached him, was that he loved being in danger. Indeed, you both had a son, that looked a lot like him. He actually was like a tiny version of him, and that’s why you decided to name him Shoto as well.

And time flies, oh so fast, but memories they last.

Just like the years, and the seasons, everything changes but never this song.

Everything was perfect in your life, until he suddenly died. He decided to fight on his own a group of villains, but he hadn’t expected them to be this powerful. Deku arrived too late to save him. He apologized to you so many times, crying. But he was the only one crying. You were just in shocked, you couldn’t have any other reaction than having a blank face, like you had been brainwashed.

And you felt brainwashed ; you couldn’t really move by yourself, it felt like an out of the body experience. When you came back home -since they had called you to go to the hospital- you told your son. He just yelled like he never had before in your arms, hugging you. He looked exactly like him, and for the first time ever, it hurt.

After hours of cries, you put him to bed, and when he finally was able to sleep, you went to the kitchen. And out the blue, without even yourself expecting it, you yelled even harder than your son had. It sure must have been awoken him, but he didn’t say anything. You were finally able to cry as much as you can -that is to say, until you couldn’t cry anymore even if you wanted to.

I need to move on, recover,

but you always haunt my heart.

Almost one year had passed since he died, and it was still really really painful. Your husband’s siblings visited you really often, such as your friends. Ochaco, for instance, always tried to make you go out of your house and have fun. And even when she succeeded, everytime you were back into your home -that you had radically re-painted and re-decorated- it wasn’t fun anymore. Having the exact copy of him couldn’t help neither, but you were glad you had an embodiment of what remained of him.

You only had memories, videos, pictures. But Shoto was a living memory. You knew you needed to stay strong, for him. So you couldn’t show him any tear, except when you both visited his grave. It was always fully decorated, and flowers were blooming from everywhere. He sure had a lot of fans.

I need someone to warm me up, to forget.

But since the morning, sorrow keeps following me around.

Your son was still at kindergarten. He just had turned 4, and you knew his quirk was going to show up anytime soon. You hoped it was Shoto’s quirk in a way, so his son will be as powerful as he was. But you also hoped that he would end up with your quirk, so maybe he won’t be as attracted to danger as his dad was, and won’t die like he did.

You were on Shoto’s grave, saying things like ‘’I will always think of you’’, ‘‘the cat misses you too, you know ?’’. You also had this habit to go to his grave once a week to tell him what his son learnt and how he was growing up. You also had a box, a cabinet where you put everything Shoto was doing at school, like presents for Father’s Day. It was lying there, in the living room, dedicated to your late husband. And even if it crept a bit people who visited you, they weren’t commenting it.

You were taking some medicine and happy pills since the funerals, but tonight was the 1 year anniversary of his death. So you took more, it was too painful. Seeing you in a weird, blank state, your son walked to you, poked your arm. You turned to him. ‘’Shoto... Promise me you will never love someone as much as I loved your dad.’’ He nodded quietly, even if he wasn’t sure about it. He didn’t want to disappoint you, seeing you like this. After all, almost never you showed weakness in front of him, no matter how difficult it was.

And I can flee, far away...

But it won’t be for today.

some note : idk if you watch desperate housewives, but I imagine the reader’s breakdown just like Bree’s when Rex died

[thesevenactsofmercykayla]

Characterisation

As soon as I got cast as Lavinia I jumped straight into working on characterisation. I knew from seeing the play before and the scenes I had already done for the audition and the recall process that she was a very strong willed character, feisty character but I knew there must have been more to her than just that. When googling the play there isn’t much that comes up other than The Royal Shakespeare Company version of it, there is no overview of the play or character analysis as the play is still fairly new and there aren’t many known productions of it. When searching for clips of Lavinia on youtube there isn’t much more that comes up over than the ‘Meet the characters: Lavinia’ video by the RSC that was quite helpful.

It is hard to work on characterisation when there is very little guidance from online sources or even from the author but it did leave me with a bit of freedom when it came to creating my version of her. At first I found this quite daunting, as this caused a bit of doubt within me as to wether I could do Lavinia justice without much guidance. Instead of allowing this to get to me too much I decided to see the fun in it, my interpretation of Lavinia could be however I want it to be, I started to look into character analysis to help break her down a little bit.

I started looking into different techniques to perfect for our performances. I found out about overall and scene objectives, taking risks, substitution (which is changing the character you’re working with for someone in your personal life that relates to the scene), Emotional diaries (which involves writing a diary to your substitution that starts with “I need you to...”, you keep writing until you can’t write anymore and it has to end with “...or I’ll die” this is a great way to get yourself ready and in the right headspace for a scene and also a good way to make sure you win your objective), Doings and inner monologues. All these techniques were very helpful to make my performance a lot more believable. As a class we followed a mantra which is; “Acting is living truthfully under the imaginary given circumstances of a script”, the key word here being ‘truthfully’ it’s so important as actors to give a truthful performance because it allows the audience to relate, attach to and root for the character more. A great way to live truthfully in a scene is to put all your attention on the other actor in the scene ​‘put your boat on their river’ ​and just go with it. You are only as good as the actor you’re working with so it’s important to only react if they make you react, this way your performance will be real. When choosing objectives it’s always a good idea to choose something that most if not all of the audience can relate to, that way it will be so much more satisfying for the audience when you win.

Building a background

I looked at things like, what type of person is she? Does she have any family? Is she in a relationship? What was her earliest childhood memory? Does she have any friends? Obviously I was in a position where I could make up my own answers for these questions whereas Alex or Liam playing Caravaggio had the option to look up up Caravaggio’s history. I personally really enjoyed giving my own backstory to Lavinia and it definitely made me grasp the character a lot more. 

We did a hot seating exercise where we answered all questions along these lines in character. This was to help us with our characterisation and it really did help get in the mindset of the character. Below is a clip of part of my hot seating video I did.

Personality 

During rehearsals some days you would act, some days other actors would act and you’d be sat on the sidelines for most of the day. During this time sat on the sidelines I decided to write how Lavinia and her journey in the play comes across to me. I’ll add in a photo of what I wrote in my notebook but I’ll translate it here as my handwriting is hard enough for me to read. 

Lavinia - She is strong, powerful, fearless and a bit of a free spirit, she’s optimistic despite everything. She doesn’t care what people think about her but with Caravaggio it seems different, she wants to prove herself to him and he also wants to prove himself to her in a way. He sees her selfworth straight away, he’s impressed and knows she can amount to great things and so decides to give her that opportunity (of becoming a painter). She finds it hard to trust; she is a lone wolf, she’s been used and disposed of by so many men that she doesn’t even know what trust is anymore. Showing her artwork to Caravaggio takes so much for her, it is a huge step. She, for the first time in a long time finds a friend in Caravaggio and he gives her some hope that she can flee her life but she can’t keep her good news to herself and ends up paying the price. She figures she’s better on her own and leaves Caravaggio. 

I’d like to think that Lavinia did eventually find the courage to give her dreams a go as she seems so driven that she can do better than the life she is stuck living but unfortunately we don’t find out what comes of Lavinia as she slips back off to her life of prostitution. 

Physicality

We took some time looking into the way our characters would move and hold themselves to add to our characterisation. We used a technique called the Laban effort which helped us break down the movements of our characters. After looking into this technique I figured Lavinia is ‘glide’ as she is free moving and light on her feet but she is also direct.

Lavinia is a very confident character, not much phases her. She goes through life taking each day as it comes and so I made sure to work that into her physicality, I made sure to walk with my back straight and my chest out, I put a bounce in her step almost as if she skipped everywhere she went, to help her come across as carefree but to also show the audience a physical change in her when she comes in later in the show haven been cut up, I want her to drag her feet and have her arms held close to her to show how closed off she now is because of what has just happened.

Looking into Lavinia’s job

I took it upon myself to take some time looking into Lavinia’s profession - she’s a prostitute, and part of her character traits is that she feels as though she is better than her job, however she doesn’t try to hide the fact she’s a prostitute in anyway. I wanted to understand more about prostitution, more so how a girl falls into doing such a job. Ivana Chubbuck’s book ‘The power of the actor: The technique’ she has a page where she touches on playing a character who is a sex worker. She gets very deep into the background of most prostitutes and talks about how many were molested or raped when they were younger and they use prostitution as a way of regaining their sexual power over men that they didn’t have when they were younger. Lavinia mentions a few times how much she loved her father and they seemed to have a good relationship and so although I understand Chubbuck’s analysis I decided not to use that with Lavinia, I feel as though she fell into prostitution more down to the era she was brought up in, it very much was a man’s world but she is never frightened by men or allows them to belittle her. 

I found some quotes when looking into playing the role of a prostitute that I think fit Lavinia perfectly and they were ‘The hooker with a heart of gold’ and ‘A tart with a heart’ I feel like she’d willingly introduce herself as the second one as she has good banter.

[ravenandwritingdesks]

In The Cards - Chapter 4: Knight of Wands

Click here to read chapter 1 

Knight of Wands

Opposition of this card indicates frustrations, delays, and the need to compensate for something that you lack control over.

Up: action, adventure, fearlessness

Reversed: Anger, Impulsivity, recklessness

____________________

“First day of class!” An enthusiastic voice calls as hands forcefully shake the snoozing body that’s happily cocooned in a pile of blankets.

Rather than dignifying the rude awakening with a response, Sakura flips over and pulls the duvet over her head. Magic school or no, early mornings are not her thing, especially after the late-night private session with her partner.

“Come on, Sakura,” an exasperated Ino whines as she settles for ripping the entire set of bedding off her very annoyed roommate. “What type of friend would I be if I let you sleep through your first class.”

Realizing that it’s time to admit defeat, Sakura begrudgingly rises from the mattress and begins shuffling around the room to get ready. “Fine…” she lets a sigh escape her, “do you have a spell that can magically cause caffeine to enter my body?”

“Tough out of luck, sweetie,” Ino responds as she begins brushing out her golden strands of hair. “That sounds like the job for your Match.”

Sakura’s stomach begins to turn in knots at the mention of her partner. Last night was an obvious disaster and just further provoked her unease of their whole situation. The thought of how quickly July approaches gnaws at her, causing her fingers to tremble and making it extremely difficult to apply any make up.

Once both girls are ready, they set out to their first class. “How was last night by the way?” Ino asks, a sense of wariness in her voice. The more experienced witch is obviously still hesitant when it comes to the Uchiha boy, though she tries to hide it.

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” Sakura states, thinking of all their interactions to date. Though their attitudes towards each other dance the line of hot and cold, it’s obvious there is a wall between them. She would be lying if she claimed to not have contributed to that, especially after her conversation with the Hokage, which did little to quell her fears of the situation. Dark magic or no, her Match’s last partner is still dead.

“Sasuke doesn’t like anybody,” Ino responds with a snort, “he never really has.”

Sakura lets out a humorless chuckle at her roommate’s words. Though, she’s not sure if they are meant to comfort her or if the other girl is simply stating a fact.

“Isn’t the whole Match thing supposed to mean he has to like me?” she questions, everything about their situation is still so confusing.

“Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way,” Ino responds as she ushers Sakura into the classroom. It’s less than magnificent with ordinary black tables for the students to sit at and a dirty, freestanding chalkboard at the front of the room.

“Like any type of relationship you still have to build up trust and grow with each other,” she continues, taking a seat next to Sai who is already prepared for class with a notebook and pen sitting in front of him. “It can just be easier with the bond since you guys have a deeper understanding of each other. Being able pick up on the other’s thoughts and feelings does have that advantage.”

“Well a whole lot of good this bond is doing,” Sakura mutters to herself as she thinks back to the lack of connection last night. Apparently, Sasuke is trying to keep her out of his head. Maybe he’s just not ready for a new Match yet.

“Good morning.”

Sakura turns to see Hinata settling into the seat on her opposite side, pushing a travel mug in her direction.

“Witches brew?” Sakura questions jokingly as she accepts the offering.

Hinata gives a small smile in response. “Coffee,” she corrects, “You wouldn’t want to fall asleep on your first day, you could miss something important.” A lavender-eyed wink causes Sakura to smile, she’s discovering that she really likes the clairvoyant witch regardless of her cryptic words and apparent ability to read her mind.

She takes a big gulp from the warm tumbler, whose contents has been perfectly sweetened to her liking, as the classroom begins to fill with students. Though it’s a small area, more people than she’s seen in her entire time here occupy it. Magicians of all shapes and sizes joke and laugh, more than one of the pairs holding hands or snuggling close to one another. She almost wants to laugh at the mundanity of it all, despite the few floating objects and periodic puffs of smoke it feels like any other classroom.

The commotion begins to settle down when the professor saunters in lazily, throwing his lesson plan down on the desk with a unceremonious flop. Sakura recognizes the silver hair and masked face of Kakashi Hatake, the man that greeted her when she had been teleported from the train station.

“DILF” Ino whispers to her as the last of the whispers around them quiet.

Sakura ignores her and prepares to listen to the lecture but a shadow in the corner of her eye causes her attention to turn back to the doorway.

Silently, Sasuke slips into the room and settles into a chair in the very back. He catches Sakura’s gaze so she gives him an awkward wave. Of course, he turns away without any acknowledgement of her presence.

This is hopeless, Sakura thinks, resting her chin in her hand. She takes comfort in the fact that Ino’s not wrong about the attractiveness of Professor Hatake, well what little you can actually see of him. As he begins to write on the board, Sakura notices the slender yet well-toned muscles flexing beneath his tight sleeves.

While Ino barely pays attention to the lesson, settling for absentmindedly poofing small flowers of various size and color in and out of existence, Sakura finds herself very intrigued. Today’s lesson is about the fourth Hokage and how he and his Match had to sacrifice themselves in order to slay a great beast created from magic. Hinata lets out a slight shudder at the mention of its name, Kyuubi.  It’s hard for Sakura to grasp that this is truly is the history of her kind as it sounds much more like the plot to a movie.

“But how did the Kyuubi even come to be in the first place?” Asks a female student sitting directly behind Sakura, “You said that it’s a manifestation of extremely powerful dark magic.”

The instructor pauses at the question, before answering in a very deliberate tone. “A man who was blinded by the lust for more power forced his partner to embody the darkness and in the end it consumed her completely.”

A shiver wracks itself up Sakura’s spine. She turns to ask Hinata what it means to be consumed by magic only to see wide, opalescent eyes staring at her, unfocused. “Hinata?” she questions the dazed girl, her gaze causing unease to gnaw at Sakura’s stomach. After just a moment longer, her eyelids flutter with a couple blinks and she turns back to the front of the room as if nothing had happened.

“Sorry, Sakura,” Hinata whispers without looking at her pink-haired friend. “Just a vision.”

With that, Sakura returns her attention to the lecture, trying to pay attention to the logistics of how the third Hokage made laws to reform the use of dark magic after the death of his successor, but her mind keeps wandering to the story of the Kyuubi. How could a Match turn his partner into something so animalistic? But then again, how could one cause the death of their Match, accidentally or not?

Sakura shakes her head, she shouldn’t dwell on these thoughts. Everybody said what happened was an accident, it’s not like Sasuke directly murdered Karin, right? Nobody has actually revealed the full details of the event, it could have been anything that caused the girl to die. Getting lost in her thoughts of worst-case scenarios, she doesn’t notice the pair of dark eyes fixated on the back of her head.

______________________

Sasuke stares at his pink-haired partner in the front of the room, he can tell she’s not paying attention to the lesson, probably lost in her head about the complicated history she’s never heard before. As for himself, he could practically recite the story in his sleep, having grown up learning the more detailed version of it. The Kyuubi has always been the “boogieman” of the magical world, a warning to misbehaving children and the Fourth Hokage is their version of Superman, the hero among them willing to sacrifice himself to save them all.

Soon enough, class is dismissed, and he smoothly slips out the door heading towards a meeting with Orochimaru. However, as he is about to turn the corner a gentle hand clasps over his arm. He takes great care to keep his skin covered, but the simple brush of the stranger’s bare pinky against the exposed sliver of flesh between his glove and sleeve is all it takes.

He feels a chilling sensation wash through his veins as if he’s being viewed from the inside out. Gooseflesh breaks out over his body and he quickly jerks away from the offending limb. Turning to confront whoever dare touch him, assuming it’s his nuisance of a Match, he’s shocked to find the Hyuga girl staring at him instead.

“If you don’t change your course of action, history will repeat itself,” she tells him, her usually gentle voice sharp and severe.

Anger washes his face in red, but instead of dignifying this with a response he turns to leave. He intends to ignore the clairvoyant’s prophecy, but the last of the girl’s words leave him feeling rattled.

“In more ways than one.”

Not wanting to be near the young psychic anymore he quickens his walk to Orochimaru’s office, silently cursing the whole way. How dare she read him, how dare she try and tell him what to do. It doesn’t matter if she’s gifted with the Sight, she doesn’t know anything about him.

Thankfully, the distance between his destination and the classroom is minimal, giving him less time to dwell on the haunting prophecy and his anger that’s threatening to boil over. Without bothering to knock, he opens the door to the professor’s office.

It’s dark, the natural light from the windows blocked out by thick, black curtains. Furnishings in the office are sparse, consisting only of the necessities: a black desk with various chalked runes scribbled over the surface, a small wooden cabinet containing ancient scrolls and dusty jars. A single orb emitting an eerie white light slightly bobs from its position above the desk, the slow bouncing causing the dark shadows of the room to dance with slow, purposeful movements.

“Ah, young Sasuke,” a voice purrs from behind, despite the space being empty beforehand. “Thank you for stopping by.”

“You wanted a meeting,” the boy states, wanting to quickly finish this so he can be alone after what had just occurred with the young psychic.

“Yes,” he pauses, pacing around the room until he eventually settles at the desk. “It’s concerning our last private session with Miss Haruno.”  When Sasuke only continues to stare at the professor with a bored expression, he continues. “You’ve completely blocked the connection between you,” Orochimaru fiddles with a blunted piece of chalk, adding small corrections to the sketched-out designs on the surface of the furniture. “This is not acceptable.”

“She doesn’t need to know anything about me,” Sasuke snaps, impatient with everybody trying to tell him what to do with his Match.

“Now, Sasuke,” Orochimaru tuts, an exacerbating belittlement lacing his tone. “You know it doesn’t work that way. How can you expect either of your powers to flourish under those circumstances?”

“I can call upon her magic when I need it,” he responds, wishing this conversation would come to an end.

“While you may want to simply tap into her reservoir, it will just diminish if there’s no compatibility prompting it to thrive,” he flourishes his hands in the air, emphasizing each of his words. “You can’t just continuously harvest a crop and expect it to always be ripe. You must nurture it.”

Sasuke’s thoughts go to the outcasts of the magic community, people who never find Matches. Their magic wastes away, the source of balance to sustain it never discovered. In some severe cases, the loss of that piece of their life drives them to insanity, leaving them as less than the normal humans.

“How do you expect to complete the Soul Baring?” The professor continues, his yellow eyes raising to lock with Sasuke’s.

The student remains silent, not fully sure how to phrase his turbulent thoughts. He can’t imagine going through a Soul Baring with Sakura. Her naivety of the magical world and cloudy understanding of how Matches work make her so complicated. How would she react if she really saw what was in his soul, his past? There are things in it she would never witness, even in her worst nightmares. She wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“Just keep the end goal in mind,” Orochimaru rouses him from the dark path his thoughts are swirling. “Determination alone is not enough to achieve what you need to.”

________________

Sakura runs down the hallway, an impromptu nap causing her to be late for an evening session with the Hokage. Stray hairs fly behind her, the quick messy bun she pulled back jostling free with the commotion. After making a couple wrong turns and having to backtrack, she finally bursts into the practice room.

“I made it!” she puffs out, trying to catch her breath. Surprisingly, she notices that she’s not the only one running late as there’s no sign of the instructor meant to guide their session. The lone occupant of the room seems to stop mid-step when she enters.

Expecting her partner to simply ignore her presence until necessity warrants it, Sakura quietly moves to the center of the room. She can’t stop the automatic jump of surprise her body does when a firm hand spins her around.

Green eyes widen at both the rough action and the proximity of his face.

“Sasuke what are-“

“You should stay away from the Hyuga girl,” he states, close enough that Sakura can feel the warmth of his breath as it hits her cheek.

A dark expression cloaks his face, the severity taking her off guard. It takes her a moment to process his words, but quickly, her surprise is overtaken by anger.

“Who do you think you are?” she practically yells as she shakes his grip off her. Never being one to control her temper, she knows her eyes must be burning with a viridian fire. “You don’t get to just ignore me all day then try to bark orders at me.”

He doesn’t attempt to respond, settling for staring at her blankly, either not taking her outburst seriously or too stunned to know what to do next. Reasoning that the former is far more likely than the latter, the wave of Sakura’s fury comes to a crest. Her hands shake and she briefly notices a tingling sensation around her fingertips.

Ever since they met Sasuke dismisses her attempts to be friendly, avoids her questions, refrains from any unnecessary interactions, and now he’s trying to tell her to leave one of the few people that have been sympathetic to her situation. How dare he think he has any say over who she gets to associate with. She opens her mouth to yell at him again but is cut off by the entry of the Hokage.

Timing as impeccable as ever, Tsunade takes in the aura of the room with the raise of an incredulous eyebrow. “Good to see you too getting along better,” she mutters sarcastically, half-debating summoning a bottle of sake to get her through what’s bound to be an interesting lesson.

Neither of the students try to answer nor attempt to move from their stare-down, as if the first to break eye contact is admitting defeat.

“Well,” the Hokage begins, “strong emotions can lead to some intense chakra merging, however, I do need the both of you to starting listening, now.” At the last word, a gripping force washes over the two, pushing their bodies downward so that they are made to sit across from each other. This compulsion causes the tension to break and each looks away from the other. “Now, take a deep breath and grasp each other’s hands.”

Sakura begrudgingly takes off her gloves. The voice of the Hokage seems to have a calming effect on her, however, she still feels the electric sensation dancing in her fingertips. She makes no move to actually reach for her asshole of a partner’s hands.

Sasuke seems to have a similar mindset taking his sweet time pulling the dark gloves leisurely off each finger.

”I said, now.”

At Tsunade’s voice, the stubborn will of both students evaporates, as magic prompts each to grasp the others’ palm firmly.

Upon making contact, Sasuke quickly jolts his hands away, for a brief moment a look of distraught flickering on his face.

“Come now, Sasuke,” Tsunade tuts impatiently, “do not make me compel you for the entire lesson.”

The boy doesn’t respond, but scowls at his hand for a moment before extending it once again. Hesitantly, he wraps his fingers around Sakura’s wrist.

“Very good,” Tsunade mutters, annoyance and sarcasm interwoven in her tone. “Now we can actually begin.” With a wave of her fingers, a hazy figure forms in the air before plopping into her open palm.

“A lightbulb?” Sakura questions as she stares at the object.

“Make it glow,” Tsunade instructs as she suspends the bulb in the air. “This exercise focuses on both drawing upon each other’s power and controlling it at the same time. If you try to simply overpower one another, the glass will shatter. If you are unable to summon enough power, it won’t light.”

Finding this a lot more interesting than just attempting to push thoughts into Sasuke’s head, Sakura excitedly looks to her partner. Unsurprisingly, she’s met only with bored exasperation.

Glad we’re on the same page, you arrogant asshole.

“Focus guys,” Tsunade prompts, indicating back to the bulb.

Trying to stamp down her annoyance, Sakura stares at the frosted glass above them. She imagines the coils within burning with her power, her energy, her anger…

Pop!

The glass shatters, raining down around them.

“Okay, that’s a start at least,” Tsunade says before producing another lightbulb. “Instead of each of you trying to do it on your own, try cooperate. You won’t need to summon nearly as much individual energy.”

Sakura turns to face the new lightbulb but Tsunade gently press her hand to her face, forcing her to look at Sasuke instead.

“Look at each other, not the light. Focus on each other and your common goal, the rest will follow. ”

Looking at his face, she sees only the superiority of somebody that doesn’t believe she fits in this world. His deep eyes stare down at her, his sharp nose lifted in arrogance. The crackling energy in her fingers returns but instead of Sasuke pulling away she notices the metallic tinge in the air as his own power errupts.

“Careful,” Tsunade orders calmly as she observes the opposing electric sparks of energy exploding around the teenagers. Green and black flashes of light begin to war with each other, the shiny new bulb left forgotten above as the power struggle takes place on the ground. While it would take no effort on her part to stop the teenagers, she simply stands back to observed, interested in where this will go. Perhaps some conflict is exactly what their relationship needs to grow.

Sakura feels her hair standing on end with the friction in the air, senses her power climbing as she challenges Sasuke. He can look down on her all he wants, but he needs to learn that she will not roll over so easily. Tightening her grip on his wrist, she pushes harder against the resistance between them. He needs to know that she will fight him tooth and nail before she yields to his every whim.

“When everybody thought all was lost, the hero stepped in and saved the villagers from the Kyuubi, sealing the foul beast away forever.”

Sakura shakes her head as the strange voice drifts through the room. A woman?

“Someday I’m going to be the hero that saves everybody!” an enthusiastic voice of a young boy responds.

Sakura sees onyx eyes widen slightly as Sasuke’s stubborn façade begins to crack. He hears it too and he doesn’t like it.

“I’m sure you will.” The woman’s voice returns, a happy chuckle lacing her words. “Goodnight. I love you very much, Sasuke.”

Sasuke begins to try and pull his hands from Sakura’s trying to make his memory go away, but she clings tighter as she realizes that she’s finally broken through his defenses; she’s in his thoughts, listening to a memory from long ago.

“I love you too, mommy.”

The energy in the room mounts, reaching its peak as each of the young magician’s emotions rise Sakura’s anger and determination mixing with Sasuke’s pain and stubbornness. With a jolt, the pink-haired girl finds herself being tossed across the room, her back hitting the marble wall with a painful crack before she crumbles to the ground. It takes her a minute to muster up the energy to push herself up, her head rushing in protest after it’s forceful impact.

“Your mother,” she chokes out, feeling as if she just got beat up. Her partner lays sprawled on the floor on the opposite side of the room, slowly rising to his own shaky legs. “I heard her reading to you.”

With enough malice to curdle blood, dark eyes pin her in place, daring her to move another inch. “You heard nothing.”

He stumbles past the Hokage, who has been quietly observing this interaction, before practically falling out of the room.

“What just happened?” Sakura asks the blonde woman who appears to be in deep contemplation.

“You two were fighting against each other, but since your magic knows it’s meant to be compatible it forced you to merge. You were in his head, but that’s not what caused you to break out of it so violently.”

“I forced him to let me see more,” Sakura mutters slightly, realizing that it was the catalyst to their pushback. She was so determined to learn the rest of the memory, to complete her glimpse into his childhood.

“Sasuke is… difficult,” the Hokage continues, her tone firm. “But you can’t pry into his mind. Your Match has to be willing to let you in.”

“So is what just happened bad?” She questions wondering what this means for the progress in their relationship.

“No, but I don’t necessarily think it’s positive either.” Tsunade’s gaze lifts to above where the teenagers had been sitting. “Your merged power is something very curious. Go get some rest, we still have a lot of work to do.”

Sakura exits the training room, not even noticing the bright emerald illumination now being cast from the forgotten lightbulb still suspended in the air.