#prob bc i know i will work long enough on this that it feels worth to be bought or so

[boxwinebaddie]

now, okay, this is...Very Silly.

( i'll make laundry list of housekeepin stuff for the blog, stuff i'm working on, just little brief answers to recent questions while i get the big asks for them ready, etc. )

— but i got asked abt the tkak gorls ( updates ondaway! ) i was messin around wid the sinpinterest and was feelin ~ embarrassingly sapphic ~ in that gay chilis

( shit was rockNcoldaH than a witches tit! )

hooola rgs :*

that ~freakynasty~ friGay night.

( women, ily ;) xx <333 )

…i was also feeling notsohot for a minute there/was having a raven stannic attack, so with tkak on the mind and attempt at relaxing myself and coping in gen, i decided to be a silly goose and made a lil private board of what i thot ravesey might look like if i played god, gently luv-tapped them ( bc i’d nevah hit my sons! don't call cps, ‘sides they hit on eachother *jkvc* Enough. )

with the all-powerfull, all-knowing…

~ Sharkchancla Of Fate ~

— and made them...GIRLS.**

so, everyone meet...raeganstan and jerseyskyler. <3

**i said 'girls' because rae ( who goes by rae or stan/san/tana, short ways, not picky; very open and goes by raegan or santana long ways ) uses he/they pronouns, operates in under a more standragousness umbrella term that tends to lean demiboy/masc for the most part,

— but mostly nonbinary. <3

also skyler is still a she/her femme lesbian and a bad mammajamma goes by sky/ky short ways, buuuut if you aren't rae or stan, i'd call her skyler or she will call in an massive kite airstrike ( sky west, haha; hope you have frequent flyer miles ) and completely fkn obliterate you...until raeganstan can grab her hand/yank her, smh.

( *sky vc* anDANOTHATHI--*rae vc* mi amor, it is NOT WORTH IT. *blows raspberry at someone prob bein annoyin at a cd afterparty* )

violent pacifist icon, omg. ;-; kjdlsgjs

i won't scream about them here and be obnoxious and in this post, but i just wanted you to see them bc i'm love them. i was being *mj vc* smooth crminally insane about them, so i have some silly bonus sonohead?😩cannons about them 🏳️‍🌈 and gen stuff that you are welcome to ask me about, but there the super besties ooooor...

Super Mejores Amigues?

oooor...( my personal favorite )

Galpals 😇 👯‍♀️ ❌💋⛪️

MUY ✨ ~Especiales~ ✨ 🤪💯🌈🙏🧎‍♀️

[toxicanonymity]

Do you ever struggle with feelings of discouragement or inadequacy if your fics don’t do as well as you had hoped?

I’m struggling with that myself. I try not to get so hung up on it but it’s very hard, especially when something I’m so proud of doesn’t do as well as my other works.

I don’t even feel motivated to write bc I don’t wanna set myself up for disappointment

Discouragement, sure, I think that's natural sometimes. But I really don't feel like stats have anything to do with adequacy. Baring my soul, yuck. But fuck it we ball. Sorry it's a long answer.

I don't think I've ever answered a serious ask aside from the time i created Dr. rock which hardly counts but I've seen a lot of people struggling with this lately and hope this might be idk comforting to a person or two without leading to debate/discourse.

You mentioned something you're proud of isn't doing as well as your other works, and I can see how that would be disappointing. For laughs, I'll compare 2 of mine. These fics are impossible to compare (as are most, I think) but I def understand the urge to measure yourself against what you see as the potential. Aches: <1k popular trope I banged out in no time, wasn't sure about it, literally thought "people don't have to like it" before I hit post. >4 notes per word. Left in Lincoln: >22k posted so far, challenging, writing it for months. Has possibly driven me crazy bc I had this passing thought the other day and not about TLOU. (I didn't feel like re-reading it all): "I should just rewatch the movie. . .wait." 🤡 The whole Lincoln series combined has fewer notes than Aches lmao. But it's far more rewarding in getting to see it come to life, quality of engagement, and stretching myself 😏. It's not for everyone, for various reasons. Surely would have better stats without the twist I went with. But at what cost??

-------

Often, if people don't read or like something, it's a reflection of their own interests, limitations, and assumptions. And the right "fit."

I don't rly read much in general, but specifically, I rarely read long stuff (if I do I prob scan a lot tbh). I normally only want, if any, just enough plot/premise to build sexual tension. I don't read fluff or angst. I don't have the attention span / commitment to get invested in original characters. I tend to avoid stuff similar to what I'm working on. I make assumptions - If there's no word count, maybe it's too long. I know a lot of the fics I skip for these reasons must be fantastic. Assumptions I experience - I've seen very popular fics in the wild that strike me as dark, creepy, or pervy but aren't tagged that way. So some things that are tagged dark, etc., including plenty of mine, might not be dark in the way people assume based on their own ideas, or based on what others do tag. Also some people think I only write dark when sometimes it's just horny (see master list).

I've sometimes found myself thinking "It sucks more people don't read this bc i bet they would enjoy it" (not just my own fics). It might sound egotistical but I think it's often true.

------

Of course I want engagement because that means more people reading something which can mean more interaction, discussion, learning what you liked, what you think, etc. that's what I love.

But notes aren't rly near the top of what I care about, even though it does feel great to get them and I truly appreciate every single one.

Night walks doesn't get nearly as many notes as some of my other stuff, especially these days, but it's fun to write and I like to feed his feral fans who only get more into him with time. Same with raider: among those who do read and engage, I sense rising enthusiasm, thirst, and rate of falling in love with him (my bad). That's all worth more than 1000 likes to me. I have a good time writing these guys, so I write them more than other ones that get way more notes 🤷. I'm not saying notes don't matter at all, I know they affect exposure and engagement. But if just did what gets notes, I don't think I'd have such high quality engagement bc I'd just bang out more stuff with the most popular tropes instead of our fave Joels and those destined to become our faves bc they offer something special.

My outlook was the same before I had so many followers btw. Rock Bottom (22k) was what I felt like writing, still more ambitious than anything I've done in the Halloween fandom. I was disappointed it got way less attention than my one shots, but I know it's a banger, just certainly not for everyone lol.

-

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing and feeling, but I think it's very common and hope you can reframe it to not feel inadequate. I especially hope it doesn't discourage you from writing. ❤️

[starmanskywalker]

i have this wip that's almost getting stale in my google docs but

its already pretty long and it would be unfair to let it rot in obscurity

its also fun and prob the best thing i've written so far

so here's a lil snippet for u to decide if it's indeed worth the effort or not 😶‍🌫️and to show you guys im not dead despite covid trying hard to off me !!

it shares its title with an abba song im not disclosing yet for ✨mysterious purposes✨ and yeah its an anakin x reader fic bc i love this cocky loser way too much.

In order to distance yourself from his touch but also make sure you weren’t being heard, you peek out of the alcove. No burly men in sight. You take a deep breath before returning to your routine.

Anakin dodges the question and your unnecessary (?) bitterness. “What do you mean we can’t make it discreet?”

You huff in annoyance at his lack of preparation. “We can, but I told you plenty of times that Jango's room is full of his own bugs from the floor to the roof. We’ll face an entire army if we’re not cautious enough, and we’ll have to entertain him in order to get what we need.” 

“Do we even have the backup for this?”

“Of course we do! Plenty! Do you think I’m an idiot? And do you even remember what we’re supposed to do to get him to do what we want?”

It’s true what they say about breakups: you tend to only remember the nicer things in your relationship whenever the yearning hits. Well, you were just reminded of one thing that was deeply annoying about Anakin and working with him: he was too sure of himself to stick or pay attention to plans. His silence is the answer you need. “Fuck, Anakin.” Your face wrinkles in irritation. “The moment we go there and you make your bid for me, he’ll probably ask me to give you a trial. We’ll then give him something to look at - he’s a perv. He’ll love that.” 

You sit on his lap and unabashedly grind against him to the rhythm of the song - knowing he’s unable to do anything about it, that’s the best way you can find to get your revenge on his recklessness all while teasing what’ll come further in the night. And it’s surprisingly on character too. 

The breath that rushes from Lars is a sharp one; you can see how his pupils dilate, hear the pattern shift in his breathing. He palms your hips in order to keep the movement steady. “Just like that.” You moan, already disarmingly wet by the indirect and clothed friction of his already rock-hard cock against your pulsating clit. “He’ll turn all systems off because he’ll want the sights and… and sounds all to himself,” you explain, both of your bodies quickly overtaken by the desire you two still have for each other. “And he’ll excuse his men from the room.”

“How do you know that?” He groans and you feel his grip on your hips tighten.

“I just do,” you limit yourself to answer. “Unlike some, I do my research.”

And just before you get to the point of no return, one of Jango’s henchmen arrive to pull off the brakes in your interaction, making you briskly get off Anakin’s lap. Skywalker tries to hide his crystal clear excitement at having you on top of him after so long. “Sir, sorry to interrupt, but if you want to play, you’ll have to pay.”

“‘f course,” he answers, trying to recompose himself. “I do want her for a night, Rex. Can we arrange that?”

“Always, sir.”

[vigilante-fangirl]

I’m working on a part two for both my fics but I see why it takes so long to write fics for Adrian getting his personality down is so HARD

Me rambling under the cut

Like he’s a absolute weirdo as seen from the snippets we see of his childhood mans had zero friends except his older brother and his friends, played dnd back when it wasn’t cool. He has zero to no social skills as seen as his interaction with his coworker in the first episode

He also prob has childhood trauma based on the fact we never hear about his moms who I head-canon as the reason why he’s the way he is and she was neglectful after his dad left or/and showed favoritism to Guts instead

ALSO I feel like he loves being Vigilante way more than he loves being his actual self like Adrian is his cover while Vigilante is his authentic self which can’t be healthy

But he’s also sweet showing that he bases his worth on how well he does at task like his genuine upset he couldn’t kill Auggie mans was about to cry. Also I liked that he’s not a dumbass…completely like when peacemaker told him his crying was facial exercises he runs with it like he knew it was crying at first! ALSO side note he can’t comfort for shit it’s foreign to him which goes back to abusive moms territory

Also abusive moms is why he relents so easily and takes being shit on by EVERYONE like it does effect him and he does have emotions but Adrian turns them off rather than not having any

Like mama chase in my headcanon is a wine mom who was constantly drunk/out of it but when she was conscious it was just her being verbal abusive to him like a Beatrice horseman type beat

Also as much I at first didn’t like to admit mans prob knows how to fuck like a god but his problem is getting girls passed his weirdo/psycho tendencies bc I imagine that it would turn a lot of girls away I didn’t wanna admit it bc look at all the evidence but he had a threesome with Peacemaker so if he was bad at it I don’t think peacemaker would let him join

All this to say that’s why I wanna make my (y/n) a absolute weirdo too bc we don’t have enough of those. I want her to be on his same vibe of crazy

[forgottenvalentina]

dslkfjadlkjajdfa honestly poor eithne isn't even doing anything like...she's just existing and now valentina's mad abt it likE lkasjdflkjsdfjl there's honestly no pleasing this woman bc its def arthur and cassimir that have the power here but valentian's blaming poor eithne ldksjafkljdfjdsf

honestly poor eithne is truly in an impossible situation bc a v firm line has been drawn in valentina's head and so advocating for her sisters is ALWAYS a declaration of war and valentina will not stand for it if eithne doesn't back down immediately given even the most subtle bit of push back from valentina smh -- cassimir advocating for them is def gonna work better tbqh but that requires cozying up to cassimir which in and of itself ticks off valentina bc she's unreasonable at all times like legit there's no winning for poor eithne w valentina bc its always valentina's way or the highway and there is no middleground as far as valentina's concerned bc she's so deeply egotistical

honestly tho i think before cassimir started showing particular affection for eithne, that eithne was her favorite stepdaughter bc she was responsible and capable and quick to rush in and pick up slack, but now now its def aoife bc she's decided that eithne is a snake in the garden bc cassimir has feelings for her, and cassimir can't do anything wrong in her eyes, so obv its eithne's fault!!!! that being said, being valentina's favorite is NOT a plum position it just kind of means you're the default person to toss work load at...and when ur alone w her youre the most likely to get a quick insight into her tragic backstory which...honestly not worth it sdlkjflaksdjfsdf esp bc she'll dismiss you two seconds after she realizes she's been a lil vulnerable, probs w a backsided compliment of some kind slkfjaslkdfjksdf

honestly i def think things would be a lot better at the estate if cassimir and eithne were in charge for lots of reasons hahaha but valentina def does noT feel the same way!!!! at all!! honestly, valentina would also be suspicious and resentful of anyone being the new mistress of the estate bc, like, valentina????? is supposed to be in charge!!!!!!!!! so sdljkfjkdsfkjdf but esp given that valentina didn't pick eithne herself its esp fraught aldskjflkdjsf

kldsjfklsdjfdf hahaha the arthur thing def DOES drive her crazy!!! arthur is supposed to be simping for sonya!!!! and eithne is NOT supposed to be a princess!!!! that would put her even more above valentina than if she were simply mistress of the estate and that is NOT coooll!!!! hahaha but she also can't tell arthur to back off and!!!!! NOTP ALERT!!!!!! hahahahaha i think that, even if cassimir were to marry ginevere and then guienevere were to become empress etc atp valentina would ~still be anti arthur/eithne bc she's just gotten herself so worked up abt it all atp hahaha

also! bc of all of this, valentina has a scheme in mind to 'take care of eithne,' since she's decided she's a snake in the garden. she's fishing around to find someone whose comfortable enough (so eithne will accept the union) but has no real power and is v, v far away from eithe cassimir or arthur to get eithne to marry away and then she'll tell them both that she was doubletiming them both the whole time w a long standing affair w that dude to turn them against her etc and that, valentina believes, will take care of the whole situation bc they'll never see her again and her hubby will have no real power so valentina will never have to worry about it again plus they'll be poinsoned against her even if she ~does pop up again somewhere hadlsjkflkd sjfljkd

obv this is a top secret operation and she's doing her utmost to keep it from every single person she knows and she'd 100% spring it on her a la pierre le pieu on danielle de barbarac in ever after, but yeah!! that's her current machination to try and be rid of 'that wretched girl' so obv she's due to the receive the best stepmom award any day now alkjsdfkjsdjfkdsf im so sorry abt her in advance alksdjflkjsdfjk

OOC | Valentina & Eithne

ok so!!!!!! i apologize in advance!!! for the weirdness that is about to unfold re: these two!!!!!!

so i think, in the beginning, valentina sort of mentally labeled eithne and aoife as her less objectionable stepkids! kind and certainly more accomodating than brigit, anyway, they were the 'good' ones...which wasn't necessarily a desirable label bc valentina did, of course, press them into service alskjdaflkjsdf but i do think she was more willing to overlook any perceived infractions etc bc they were good girls, really, they just had unfortunate manners and of course they're only nobility whereas valentina and her children are of ~royal blood and whatever else she tells herself to make this all seem ok in her head alsjdfkjdfj

but now things are changing BIG TIME! valentina now feels that she made a huge mistake in giving eithne "so much leeway" bc she now sees her as a conniving little schemer whose crept her way into cassimir's heart due to valentina's own lack of direct supervision and has thus abused all of valentina's kindess, despite all valentina does for this ingrate of a family!!!!! aldskjfkjdsjds (which is nothing btw except scheme up possible treasons which could get them all beheaded and run up its debts alksdjflkjdsfj) she def thinks that eithne is intentionally seducing cassimir and that she's a viper in the nest. but! she's got a notion to help take care of this!

valentina means to get her eldest stepdaughter married -- with or without her consent -- to the most convenient man who'll take her off her hands and keep her out of cassimir's reach! so, someone whose far away and has no court connections so cassimir won't be seeing her, and whose remote and difficult to find etc etc etc but also someone w absolutely no power bc valentina doesn't trust eithne, now, so that probs means someone whose poor and therefore can't take care of her sisters, so basically destroying everything eithne was hoping for in so doing alksjdfkjdf #stepmomgoals anyway im so sorry about her!! </3 eithne deserves wayyyyy better!!!

oh! plus there's the whole thing w arthur and valentina DEF doesn't like that either bc that's sonya's backup man as far as she's concerned, plus it urther reinforces to valentina's mind that eithne is clearly hunting powerful men! smdh

[enden-k]

As long as you're transparent about posting inconsistently you can still set up a patreon. Plenty of people just like to be able to throw a few dollars towards artists they like, even if it doesn't necessarily mean any extra content. If you're still unsure a ko-fi might work better?

i have a kofi but i removed the link a year ago or so, so people stop tipping me bc i always feel ashamed/embarrassed when people tip me for my art. i kinda have self worth issues so im a little reluctant about accepting money for my art ig. thats also why i dont take comms anymore (the only thing that doesnt make me feel uncomfortable and anxious is the fanbook thing i suggested a few days ago so...hm)

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

Idk who Naoya is I’ve never seen that show but I love how you write for him! He’s such a bastard and he seems like the kind of misogynist that I could trick into doing stuff for me like “oh I’m just a little lady you can’t expect me to mow the lawn🥺 that’s a big strong man’s job” and he would just eat it up

NONONO BC HE WOULD

Alright babe, you gotta bear with me, i gotta talk about my favorite sexist piece of shit sksksk

Ok listen: I 1000% agree with you sksksk LIKE? IDK MAN HE JUST LIKES FEELING LIKE A BIG STRONG MAN AND THE EASIEST WAY TO DO THAT IS TO HELP A CUTE LITTLE LADY LIKE YOU!!

Tbh Naoya isn't even around for 20 chapters of the manga, he's a v one note arrogant misogynist and he has no other purpose than to be an antagonist for the plot, which is fine! You do you Gege, but also there's little to no room for his character to develop so I've come up with like a dozen headcanons for him that probably make him too ooc but he's MY blorbo from MY shows and i will categorize him however i please 😤

Anyways lemme talk about some of my headcanons sksksk

To start, he LOVES feeling like a big strong man

He loves when his pretty little girlfriend comes to him all helpless and needs her strong capable boyfriend's assistance 💕

You can't get a jar open? It's okay princess, he's got it for you

Can't reach the top shelf? No problem babe, he's tall enough to reach

Literally any stereotypical "man" job you can think of, he's gonna take care of it bc that's what men are supposed to do, DUH

And in return he just wants you to be his pretty little doll sksksk

Obvs he's an annoying sexist pig, thinking that women are incapable of doing anything other than have kids and take care of the house, but that also makes him soooooo easy to manipulate

"Naoya 🥺 there's too much snow in my driveway and i can't leave 🥺 would you please come clean it up for me bc I'm just a little lady and can barely pick up a shovel?? 🥺👉👈" BABE, he is THERE, he is cleaning up your driveway and putting down salt and making sure you can tap dance on top of it without so much as slipping sksksk

Idk how to explain it but feeling like a "man" just makes him so happy like he's so fulfilled after doing something "manly" for you and making your life easier

He also likes knowing that he's the only one who can help you with these things. Makes him feel important sksksk

Probs feels this way bc of childhood trauma but who fuckin knows

I headcanon that his mom either died when he was young or just left the family

Like i imagine her getting divorced and Naoya's dad fighting tooth and nail so he could get custody so Naoya just never saw his mom bc she didn't have access to him, and then dad started filling his head with sexist shit and since his momma wasn't there to defend women he just grew up with that

Lowkey has mommy issues as a result sksksk that's why he looks down on women! I mean his mom abandoned him so obviously all women are awful and worth mess than men 🙄

But as long as you stay submissive and act like a pretty lil doll he'll be satisfied 😌

He also gets a lot of satisfaction out of taking care of you sksksk

He complains about how you're a spoiled brat but he's also giving you his credit card so you can go to the salon and get your nails done

Like? Sir if you're that mad about it then stop feeding the flames sksksk

He expects your love and affection in return

Like he paid for your nails so now you gotta jerk him off with your pretty new manicure sksksk

This feels all over the place but yes please manipulate him into doing all the hard work, take his money and lounge around the house being pretty while he brings home the bacon sksksk

[astrochemstry]

oooo hello! how about writing dating headcanons for dazai osamu? 🙈

YO I love ur leaving for a trip HC omg thanks for requesting

probably bad bcs I feel detached from myself today buT YEAH HOPE U LIKE IT

Character: Dazai

Warnings: Mentions of Suicide bcs dAZai

Navigation

When you first meet:

“D OU bLE SUIc IDE???”

Yes

Anyways

I mean i think he does that at first

Talks for a bit but forgets u after a while lmao

But when he sees u again, idk doing whatever you like with a smile and feeling happy

He just goes “wow cute smile”

Is constantly thinking about u afterwards

“dAZAI DO UR WORK!!!”

“Haha cute smile”

Ok tbh i think Kunikida would find out first

Tells Dazai hes in love

Dazai is !??!?!??!?!??

Kunikida--though he didnt know Dazai was from the mafia-- he's smart, I think he'd pick up on subtle changes of mood, he'll feel the room's vibe turn into a cold tension, not so different with Dazai but he doesn't know the intentions of  his sudden mood changes, as if he doesn't know how to handle his emotions

Cough cough

Look he may seem like he doesnt care but he dOES

So he helps Dazai!!!

Kunikida is a romantic no i don't take criticism for this

Dazai does remember something you like though, maybe youve been eyeing this item or you like these flowers, this book and etc

So he tells Kunikida, they buy it, Kunikida wants him to wrap it, he uses bandages

sMACK

Jk he was just joking around that time, probably gets something thats your fav color or design and stuff

So the day comes when hes gonna give it

He actually brought a balloon where he drew something like a cat idk you choose

I think he woudnt know what to say? He prob goes “hey” agGRESSIVE GIVING AND LOOKS AWAy

Ofc he glances a bit to see if u like it

U do ofc

Whether you ask why he gave u this or not, he goes

“I found out you liked that so i bought it for you”

Pls do the asking out here

When u do

“!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!”

Stops being quiet and starts gasping, fake fainting, dramatic poses that stuff

To be real?? He felt anxious like damn what if he made a bad impression?? What if its not good enough?? whAT IF HE LOOKS BAD??

Look this guy, he overthinks too, hes just that good at hiding it

But ofc he accepts the offer who wouldnt

And that concludes your first meeting and going on a date

When Dating:

This guy is the best

Why?

smOOCHINg

Surprise huGS

CUPPING EACHOTHER'S CHEEKS

And as I said before,, cH E e k KIS SES!!!!

yo I think you guys would ride those supermarket carts

Yes in the store but

You guys don't play safe, you guys take riSKS

and no you guys didn't ride the cart without getting caught

Kunikida bailed you out lmao

And as I said in that pamper s/o hc, this guy

Yes he loves getting pampered tbh

But at the same time, hates it?

Not like annoyed, mad, not hate hate

He just doesn't feel like he deserves it

But reassure him pls!! Boyo deserves lots of love

When you guys first kiss or you do smthing affectionate

he's so surprised

He's just ?????!!!!!!!!!!??????

like yeah for a split second you'll see it but he can get himself seem like he's unfazed

But bro,,, bro… I swear,, he just wonders sometimes how he got someone like you

Another thing he does is

ShOW OFF

If you don't work at the agency, he'd bring you from time to time and just show you off lmao

*Loud sigh* "DaZAi" sMACK

And of course we can't forget our Kunikidad I mean Kunikida

Everyone is surprised except for Ranpo and Kunikida

They love you btw you're very sweet heh

Anyways, You guys I think,,

You guys just sit together

Park bench, couch, whatever but you're watching the sun set or something pretty

And you just, sit. In silence. Enjoying eachother's presence yk?

Also look, I think he has topics he found out through a newspaper or the internet and he just researches about it and is literally passionate about it

Ask him about it and he'll just, he won't stop talking until hes told you eVERYThing

Would also be surprised if you remember a thing or two-- or even start getting into the topic too!!

He'd be so excited because he has someone to talk to about it

Now when you get more closer, yk the relationship is now months or years old

He'll open up

This is Dazai Osamu, remember that, it's hard to read this guy and nobody really knows what he thinks unless he says it

So be patient with him, it's worth it seeing his vulnerable side

Meaning he trusts you that muchh

When he opens up, he never expects he would tbh? He never thought he'd find someone he'd open up to (like Oda)

And his past with the Mafia?

Tbh, I think he wouldn't bring it up? Like, he's afraid yk?

He doesn't want to ruin something good, he doesn't want you to think he's the same person as before

But I think you'll find out either way, either some Port mafia mission happens and you just happen to see it or whatever coincidenctal scenario

Though, he might uh avoid you when that happens

He's just afraid yk? Overthinks the whole thing and is scared but he keeps up the same persona to avoid concern and suspicion

But hey, you know he ain't the same person and he's working hard to be a better person--

You guys talk about it and now you're both okay

I think I just ruined the whole request by making this that long but yeah!! That's all I got for today

[fairycosmos]

hey don't answer this if you don't want to but what was your sister like? what do you think she'd say to you if she were with you right now? i ask bc i have a little sister around your age who i've been through a lot together with, and if she was in ur situation i would never want her to spend her life fixating on the loss, or what she thought she should've done differently. not trying to invalidate your extremely valid emotions or anything, obviously this is hard on you for many different reasons which can't be logic-ed or analyzed away, and you have every right to feel it deeply. i just know that you're an exceptionally bright soul and i don't want you to lose everything to your grief. if you feel like this will take too much energy to answer feel free to ignore❤️❤️

she was just a wonderful person all around. they say that about everyone when they die but i've really never met anyone like her and i don't think i ever will. i think it was just really easy to like and love her. super smart in an understated way and she never fully realized it. she was an ex emo kid and like, the stereotypical cooler older sister for a while there. like loud angry music and boyfriends and girlfriends and staying out late. she was also a libra and she was like, so drawn to relationships and beauty and always falling in love which is typical. i used to read her horoscope for her at the start of every month to see what episodic soap opera would happen next until she got too paranoid and told me she would rather not know. she was really funny too. life is unbearable without her in basically every single way but i didn't anticipate how boring it would be, too. she could talk to anyone - and it took her a lot of work to get to that point, where she was confident enough and calm enough to be a friend to the world but during the last few years of her life that side of her really flourished, despite having a lot of unresolved anger and pain living inside her at the same time. she had been through so much, like an almost unsayable amount. it was such a testament to her character that she was still such a good fucking person. she kind of had that tough/outgoing on the outside, soft/sentimental on the inside dynamic to her. i think she was really switched on too, i don't know how else to word it but just like. hyper aware of the universe and reality and this lifetime, ever since she was a kid. the amount of casual comments she made to me growing up that introduced entirely new concepts to my child-brain and like, changed me forever is insane. everything worth knowing i learned from her, so much of me is her. she is and was my best friend like we spent basically all of our time together since we shared a room and we had ever since we were little. she loved cooking, tarot cards, animals, drinking on the beach.

if she was here i don't know what she'd say, probably that she was sorry and that it was all unintentional. she would be so gutted to have left me behind and thinking about that kills me. but part of me thinks she would expect an apology and an explanation out of me too. i would be so happy to just talk to her, i'd say just about anything and spend the rest of eternity asking for her to forgive me. thank you so much for being such a sweetheart and for letting me talk about her, you're so so lovely and your sister is beyond lucky to have you. i hope you have each for a long time. i think i will always feel guilty because she was the person i loved most in the universe and this is how she ended up - it's complex and pointless to ruminate on but i can't let myself just live with it as if i didn't fuck up by not doing more. especially not if i want to learn from this. you're a genuine angel and i'm sending you so so much love and appreciation. this was like a much needed bout of therapy which is prob unhealthy to post online but we're moving on. adore u ❤️❤️

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[realisaonum]

book meme

thank you, jen @det395​ !! i feel like this meme got away from me a bit, but no shame! i love talking about books and writing so onward ~under the cut~

1- how many books are too many books in a series? 

mhmmmmm i guess it depends on the objective of the series, right? is the plan to have x number of books in the series and if so, when we finally get to the end will it be satisfying considering all the books we’ve read leading up to it? OR is the objective of the premise / characters just to exist doing whatever? both can be done well. i would say a lot rides on how much i trust the author.

2- what do you think about cliffhangers?

so this is meant for cliffhangers in a series like between books? i don’t really care if there’s a cliffhanger as long as i have the next book sitting right next to me. otherwise uh, only if the wait between books is tolerable, because at that point you need to know that the author can clear this mess up, right? there’s this other thing, like you know how if the entire series was already written, then they might release the books a month apart or a quarter apart - that could be alright too. but years in between? not especially a fan. is anyone a fan?

3- hardback or paperback?

jen, you and me are complete opposites here. paperbacks stress me out. i will go out of my way to buy a used hardcover if given the choice. of course, there are some publications i don’t mind in paperback —thinking poetry and super indie books that don’t have a hardcover release OR books where the spines are thin enough they won’t break and i won’t be holding them long enough for them to wear. hardcovers are sturdy and i don’t have to worry i’ll accidentally bend the cover in some damaging way. I am invested in keeping my books nice to the point that i create covers for my books out of kraft paper or brown grocery bags while i am reading them. this is something i started when i was in college and didn’t want these books i was hoping to probably resell get thrashed coming in and out of my bag for all these classes. My home library is probs more half and half paperback/hardcover but if given a choice usually it’s hardcover.

4- least favourite book?

i think it’s good to at least attempt to meet a book on its level. there are lots of books i didn’t like, but i wasn’t meeting them on their level and i know that so we’re ignoring those. i do however have a shelf on my goodreads dedicated to books that i have beef with so i’ll just go off on two of them.....

tana french’s the likeness for being plagiaristic shit. it is essentially poorly concealed alternate universe OC insert fic of the secret history. you’ve got french’s dublin murder squad folks and then this group they are investigating who bear a STRIKING resemblance to the greek students in tsh 🤔. this would be one thing. it is pretty well acknowledged that nothing is original and there are enough changes to The Likeness that MAYBE i could let it slide if not for this other thing: french’s book, the likeness, has lines that are just basically reworded quotes from the secret history and french positions these lines so they are said by the counterpart (essentially same!) character that gave them original life in tsh. i cannot stress this enough: you can HEAR how similar the sentences are and their core intent is always the same. it’s thinly veiled theft! it astounds me that French hasn’t been sued frankly. it is one thing to want to capture some of the genius that tartt’s debut novel holds, but it is completely lazy and disgusting theft to go about it in the way French did with this book. and YES the secret history was published before french’s book. if i could stomach how fucking goddamn boring the likeness was to read it a second time and cite every one of these offenses i would, but that’s yet a third strike against it—it’s too boring to be worth it. 

T. Kingfisher’s second book of the Clocktuar War duology : The Wonder Engine. this is a book that i feel violated the contract between writer and reader. the first book feels almost like a YA book. the stakes while described as very high are treated, as actions unfold, as very low. nothing truly irreparable happens until the climax of the second book and the fallout of that action is so off-tone of everything that came before i felt deeply betrayed. no, like, completely betrayed as in it ruined the rest of my afternoon, i am still viscerally angry eight months later, and i will never trust this author again. sure, maybe none of those actions that led to the climax were out-of-character, but there was nothing NOTHING in the proceeding action that even came close to that level of consequence. it’s a pity because right up till that point i was having a really good time. the entire vibe of the rising action to the climax of book one all the way through the rising action of book two was just a quippy fun version of roadtrip/quest - it felt like a comfort read. the abrupt tone shift had all the subtlety of dropping a graphically, brutal murder into Blue’s Clues. you don’t do that - this is a basic tenet of a writer / reader relationship. i’m not touching this bitch’s shit again.

5- Love Triangle, yes or no?

not so much. i like jen before me will scream ‘just be poly.’ love triangles that lead into poly relationships? yes, awesome will be glad i read. but i am at a stage in my life where your standard will-they-won’t-they-love-triangle is just fucking pointlessly frustrating to me. an example: i read a Nic Stone’s book Odd One Out a couple years ago and something about the synopsis or the hype made me think that it would resolve the love triangle that way, so when that did not happen i was incredibly frustrated and immediately wanted to resell the book. it’s the potential of the thing. stone’s book could have been the perfect vehicle for opening up the concept of polyamory to a ya audience but instead just really squandered that potential with weak floundering — in my opinion!

6- the most recent book you just couldn’t finish

uhhhhh i’ve got two and i’m not sure i’ve entirely given up quite yet buuuuuuuut 

fucking dune. i got really pissed off with this book. So just…setting aside the whole vaguing at a pedophilically inclined queer coded villain - it’s done so poorly, that it's almost funny? like it doesn’t (as of half way through) actually have any consequence on…anything at all and is tacked on like an afterthought to the end of his scenes. honestly it all could just be cut out entirely with no recourse to the larger story. So my actual beef with this book is the pacing is ATROCIOUS. like yo, not only do you expect me to give a shit about these Atreides cunts, when we just met them and we spend the same amount of time with them IF NOT MORE with the antagonist? but you also expect me to believe Paul was able to just convince the leader of the Arrakis people —the leader of an entire planet!!— with a single fucking sentence??? yeah, not so much. it was not set up for me to believe that Paul could do that! maybe if Kynes hadn’t died immediately after—or at least not died at that moment? baring the fact I thought he was by far the most interesting character, IF he had been convinced by Paul in that scene, it would have been great to see some actual work done around that - with a transfer or a liaise of power between Kynes and Paul and the Fremen. By not having any substantive scene that does it - it begs the question of what the fuck was the point of the character in the first place? unplumbed potential!!! over all there seem to be some key scenes missing to get the reader to where the narrative expects us to be? but the choices made of the characters we spend time with and the moments we see with them, the benefit to the larger story…is not always there. hey herbert, these words you have written aren’t doing what you want them to?? i feel like i should finish it but i reaaaaallly don’t want to :) the only thing i can say is it looks like from the trailer, villeneueve is giving space to these moments so that the viewer can foster a genuine connection with the characters? radical concept.

our lady of perpetual hunger - i started this one optimistically bc i like chef memoirs, but i am at the point where she has just given birth to her son and honestly DON’T CARE. i still haven’t officially given up on it yet since i actually fucking bought it like a dope. i certainly would not have if i knew how much NOT about working the line this was gonna be

7- book you are currently reading

Aside from the failures mentioned above, I am working on the second book in B. Catling’s Vorrh trilogy, The Erstwhile. Also very close to finally finishing Iain Sinclair’s The Last London - there’s a review of his work from the LA Times that goes “One of Sinclair’s greatest skills has always been his ability to take diverse if not chaotic source material and refashion it in a way that sometimes seems downright alchemical” which captures some of the wonder I experience when reading his work. His style and how he creates atmosphere and setting is just unique and astounding.

8- last book you recommended to someone

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Before that I told my brother to read Eat a Peach, as we both love Anthony Bourdain and David Chang talks about him a bit here, plus it’s just a fucking great book. any book that gives insight into Chang’s methodology and paradigm is worth a shot.

9- oldest book you read

I think it might have to be Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night (which apparently according to wiki premiered on the stage a whole four months before Hamlet so that’s what we’re going with) and if plays don’t count, I don’t care. I think they count and that’s what we’re going with.

10- the most recent book you read ?

Given the previous question, the most recently published book, right? It’s gotta be the one I just finished: The First Collection of Criticism by a Living Female Rock Critic - Revised and Expanded edt., which like just came out this summer. I watched Jessica Hopper’s promo zoom, curtesy of my local indie bookstore, and went ahead and bought it. This was a great decision! It was just what I needed to read these last couple of weeks. i love there’s lots of short pieces that made the read quick and the fact that it’s non-fiction so there was no pressure of a plot or the emotional weight of character investment when I had a lot of big stressors dragging me down irl -it was such a relief. Hopper’s criticism is fun to read and there’s some real art in her appreciation of music here.

11- favourite author?

These are the top in a kind of order but not really: Donna Tartt, Jeff VanderMeer, Megan Whalen Turner, Flannery O’Conner, Chuck Palahniuk, Anthony Bourdain

Other faves very much worth mentioning: Emily O’Neill, Richard Siken, Brandon Sanderson, Warren Ellis, Nathan Englander, Stephen King, Eddie Huang, Carl Hiaassen, Anne Carson, and Iain Sinclair.

12- buying books or borrowing books?

Depends on if my library has it, of course! I nearly always see if my library has a copy first if i have never read it or the author before. If i’ve read the book before or trust the author, I’ll buy it. Like I’ll straight out buy new stuff from Jeff VanderMeer even though with him it’s either this-hits-exactly-and-is-my-new-fave or i-really-disliked-this-but-admire-the-boundaries-you’re-pushing-my-dude - so it’s always a gamble but a worthy one.

12- a book you dislike that everyone else seems to love

a little life (just bc it's torture porn elevated to art doesn’t negate the fact that it’s torture porn. Yanagihara’s project here is repugnant and the fact that this book is lauded as moving lgbt fiction makes my skin crawl)

sharp objects (good writing, compelling story, BUT typographical scarification doesn't work like that - i am not going to get into it but i know from first hand experience how Flynn described it is not accurate)

nesbø’s the snowman (what kinda dumbass detective would think THAT when a woman finds her missing father’s corpse? absolute idiocy - so obviously reverse engineered with that end in mind)

the raven cycle (fuck ronan lynch to start and then fuck him to end as well - there’s some other stuff but mostly he’s a total CUNT and if i don’t say that once a day i have probably died)

14 - bookmarks or dogears?

Bookmarks and sticky notes. Then I can place it pointing directly to the paragraph I last stopped on.

15- The book you can always reread?

This is my question because I reread all the time. ALL THE TIME. Books I reread often: The Secret History, Medium Raw (especially chapter 17 The Fury), Crooked Kingdom, The Violent Bear It Away, and The Goldfinch. Every year like clockwork (since it came out apparently) I will reread Stephen King’s The Outsider.

Other books I feel the urge to reread: VanderMeer’s Acceptance, Englander’s Dinner at the Center of the Earth, Frazier’s Nightwoods, Fresh Off the Boat, the Mr. Mercedes trilogy, the Peter Grant Series (which is queued up for another go here soon I think), any of the stories from A Good Man is Hard to Find, Sanderson’s Wax and Wayne Mistborn books, simon vs the homosapiens’ agenda, and there are two of Alan Morinis’ books on Mussar that I am technically always revisiting—when i need a reminder, i’ll jump around and read specific sections to get centered again.

16- can you read while listening to music?

Yes, but only ambient or near ambient (only usually one track on repeat) or a soundtrack I am extremely familiar with. No new music. I do usually need some audio stimulation or my mind will wander terribly.

17- one POV or multi POV?

Multi pov can certainly be done well (looking at the soc duaology and VanderMeer’s Acceptance) but working a multi-pov means there are more plates spinning, it’s more of a challenge, and some authors pull it off better than others.

18- do you read book in one sitting or in multiple days?

I don’t really do this anymore. that might have something to do with me picking up thicker books? but also i have a full time job now and let’s be real the book has to be hella good if i don’t want to put it down. the last book i attempted to shotgun was the final installment of my favorite series and it still took me two days so....i can get through a lot of books but none of them are ever in one sitting anymore.

19- who to tag:

@sybilius​ @mouth-rainboy​ @iwonderifthatisart​ @phereinnike​ @magnificentmoose​ @wambsgangs​ @moriarteaparty​ and anyone else if you feel so inclined!

Bonus Question: What’s on your to-read shelf? 

As for me, I am excited about one i just picked up, Danforth’s Plain Bad Heroines, which i might start tomorrow and I will be taking Paul Madonna’s Come to Light on my trip to see my brother this coming weekend. 

[asuka--langley--soryu]

tagged by: @so1987​  thank you!!!

1. why did you choose your url?

I had just watched nge and wanted an asuka url and this was available lol. I have desperately and deeply wanted the single dash version for literally years but its never been available :// if you are hoarding it then pls know we are mortal enemies on this earth and i can and will fight you for it

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

well, first of all, this is a sideblog lol. my main is @paradoxspaces​

I’ve had various sideblogs over the years but at this point the only active one (aside from here) is an mcr/music sideblog @so-ingestible​. Once upon a time I ran @isgeorgehwbushdeadyet which is uhhh obviously now defunct but remains my pride and joy

3. how long have you been on tumblr? jfc since literally 2011 :/ ive seen it all and somehow stuck around which idk is probs in the dsm somewhere

4. do you have a queue tag? Is just ‘q’ right now, but back in the day I did used to have one of those dumb punny ones bc it was The Thing To Do

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? Started this blog bc I’d finished nge and was absolutely out of my mind about it and needed somewhere to vent that lol. Also I’d gotten this URL and it seemed a shame to waste it.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? this asuka has been one of my go-to pfps for yeaaars across various platforms. I like how judgemental she looks.

(tho just between you and me i have been thinking of changing it soon so mayhaps watch out for that)

7. why did you choose your header? I like the ‘red sea’ image and it’s not super obtrusive/obnoxious

8. which post of yours has the most notes? I have no idea lol I dont keep track of that. like i said i’ve been here since 2011 and have had multiple sideblogs in that time so is more work than its worth

9. how many mutuals do you have? is there a way to find this out that isn’t literally going through and counting? bc im like. not doing that.

10. how many followers do you have? 10k on here

11. how many people do you follow? 688

12. have you ever made a shitpost? lol yea sure whatever that even means

13. how often do you use tumblr? uh god probs too often? its really the only social media I use tbh

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog? who won? lol no, not really and especially not at this point. i just.....dont take tumblr seriously enough to muster the kind of energy to get into the maladjusted social thunderdome that goes on here. obvs i have been known to get snippy w anons and post about disagreeing w certain opinions bc i am, at the end of the day, a bitch, but i dont think thats the same thing lol.

however i will say that on my main (and off tumblr as well, unfortunately) circa 2012 I used to throw myself passionately and heroically into the most god awful unholy trenches of the vriscourse bc idk apparently i had nothing better to do back then and thought it was my mission from god to argue w people on reddit. if you know anything about the relationship between any given unmedicated 14 yr old prelesbian meangirl and vriska then you can probably guess how i acted--which is to say like an absolutely rabid fucking animal. 

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to share this’ posts? i ignore any posts longer than two sentences as a general rule

16. do you like tag games? (+) 17. do you like ask games? yes to both!

18. Which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? o christ once again i have no fucking clue. if youre famous lmk

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nah lol none of you are real

20. tags (no pressure!) o geez i will come back and edit this when im home xoxo

[theverakeller]

I am here for Lieb having a huge crush on Web, and acting like a giant dork because of it. I also have a HC that Lieb would feel like he's not good enough for Web. And that even though Web is seeking him out and trying to understand him, Lieb is distant then a bit angry because "ugh, dude, just leave me alone so I can shove this crush deep down." So eventually (probs V-E day or one of the days they're going out of their minds stuck on base but unable to go home) (1 of - )

[- Web pulls Lieb aside and is like 'da fuck is your problem??' and Lieb blows him off, but Web keeps prying and digging and eventually Lieb is like "YOU, ASSHOLE. YOU'RE MY PROBLEM." And of course, Web doesn't understand so he's like "I've never done anything to you?" And Lieb, fed up, just kisses him. Web is too shocked to react at first, so Lieb starts panicking in is head. "Welp, better get prepared to be court martialed, lol. Might as well make it worth it!" (2 of -) So he deepens the kiss, and Web finally snaps to and responds. Deepening the kiss, and gently holding the back of Lieb's head and it's just so soft and unexpected for them? They break apart and both are like "You moron, we could've been doing this since back in Haguenau?" But they've been pining for so long and it just felt so right to finally act. Your turn! Another HC?]

UM ANON. I’m actually going to need you to write like a mini ficlet from the hc you sent because I WAS LITERALLY HANGING ON EVERY WORD AND I WANT MORE NOW. The way I happy sighed when I got to last part bc??? It’s so LIEB AND WEB??? UGH. GIVE ME MORE ANON.

There’s now no way I can tell you one of my hc’s that will be anywhere as good as that but a couple? of years ago I went to a Build a Bear Workshop and they were selling these Shark Week sharks that you could stuff and so OF COURSE UPON SEEING THAT I IMMEDIATELY FORMED A MODERN AU HC FOR WEBGOTT. Like I said in that post, Lieb would get one of those as a joke for Web. Like one day, Babe who works at the Build A Bear would inform Lieb of the sharks they just got in and Lieb would roll his eyes but be like ‘omg I need to get of those for Web’ and so he’d go when Babe was working and be like “Okay,I want one of those sharks” and Babe would be like “store policy, you have to stuff if yourself” and Lieb would just be like “BABE SERIOUSLY” and so long story short that’s how Babe basically forces Lieb to do the heart ceremony thing (make wishes and dreams for the shark, rubbing the heart on your knees, nose, back etc) literally EVERYTHING and Lieb is just like “BABE I hate you JUST STUFF THE SHARK” but somewhere while doing these ridiculous things, Lieb secretly deep down takes it seriously bc he wants the shark to have all the love in the world for Web. And so when he gives it to Web he’s like “since you love sharks so much” and Web just chuckles at it but loves it a lot and even though he rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness of it he knows what Lieb had to do in order to make it, bc he visited Babe once at work and so the nights that Joe is gone for work he sleeps with it holding it tight bc Lieb isn’t there and it reminds him of Lieb and he just super loves it even though he pretends he doesn’t.

That was a bad hc but I know this to be true in my heart of hearts okay.

[plush-anon]

Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! Review

Muahahhhahahhahahaha! Thanks to the Walmart tradition of stocking movies for sale weeks before the intended release date, I have myself a copy of what claims to be Scooby Doo’s FIRST Halloween adventure!

…in spite of movies like Witch’s Ghost and Goblin King, holiday specials like WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween (which had a haunted Scarecrow too…), BCSD’s EL Bandito (for Dia de los Muertos - obvs not the same, but most companies act like it) and Halloween, The NSDM’s Halloween Hassle at Dracula’s Castle, and the DTV short film Scooby Doo and the Spooky Scarecrow (which, ironically enough, did NOT take the opportunity to feature Dr. Jonathan Crane). 

So let us take a look now at Happy Halloween Scooby Doo! and see whether this film will be a graveyard smash of a treat, or a black licorice bomb of disappointment.

Full review (and SPOILERS TO GO WITH IT) are below the cut in my new review format; if all goes smoothly, I’ll go with this for future Scooby films.

WARNING: This review is very long.

One minor note before we begin: the Special Features actually include BCSD’s Halloween, WNSD’s A Scooby Doo Halloween, and PNSD’s Ghost Who’s Coming to Dinner

...so they were AWARE this was not the first Halloween adventure of the Scooby gang, and yet still use that tag line. Hm. 

Still, kudos for including them - this’ll help boost the reasons to keep this movie, if it turns out to be a real Milk Dud of a movie *ba-dum tish* :D

-----------

The movie starts off rather abruptly, actually - no slow pan over the setting, just WB Animation credit and BOOM, we’ve cut to a Halloween parade and Elvira is talking. 

I’m of a mixed opinion including Elvira on top of having Bill Nye and a Batman Rogue - while she most certainly fits the Scooby aesthetic, it doesn’t feel as grand an impact after her weird little cameo in Return to Zombie Island (ugh) and I’m not sure how well the movie will balance her in wait a minute

wait just a

WAIT A MINUTE

Did - did that parade float skeleton just sing Crystal Cove as the town’s name?

oh no. 

Oh No.

....also their song is terrible and they should feel terrible.

-------

Fred: We got him! Banh Mi Shop, second floor!

me: the heck is a Banh Mi Shop? *mild googling noises*

So I guess Jonathan Crane really had a craving for a Vietnamese sandwich before he enacted his Halloween scheme.

...you think he’s a lemongrass chicken type of guy or a BBQ pork guy? It’s always hard to guess at these things, esp when coffee and pumpkin spice aren’t on the table (as per fanon, of course)

-----

Velma: We have a flawless track record!

So I guess WB is just gonna ignore the past few DTV retcons established in 13 Ghosts and Return to Zombie Island?

I mean that rather defeats the purpose of them existing at all, but fcuk YEAH I can get behind throwing that retcon garbage out of canon!

And STAY OUT!!

------

Shaggy, talking about ghosts being real: I’m like the boy who cried wolf - I keep warning you but like, you won’t believe me until I finally get eaten!

Yet again, Warner Bros makes a wolf reference to Shaggy. Yet again, I am torn asunder between wanting werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property, and fearing for the appearance of werewolf!Shaggy in a new Scooby property. 

-------

Velma: Point is, being afraid is a waste of time!

Scarecrow, LITERALLY EXPLODING THROUGH A BRICK WALL three buildings away:

------

He’s floating through the air and t-posing to assert his dominance 🤣🤣🤣

Gods bless animation 😁

------

Daphne @ Shag and Scoob locking themselves in the van: Are you serial?

Me: wait, SERIAL? *re-reads captions* yup, that says “serial”.  

Is this an editing mistake? I don’t think that works here…unless that’s supposed to be a joke on how they always do this. But then why would that be an irritating surprise, they literally do this EVERY episode 🙄

-------

Oh hey, Red Herring’s Party Screams truck has Red Herring running out of it

Could this be a hint to how the story goes? The villain appearing on a literal Red Herring?

Naaaaaah, WB’s not THAT smart

-------

So if we take @captainbaddecisions​​ crack theory on Jonathan Crane being Shaggy’s uncle seriously, does this mean that Jonathan is using magic to fly, float fear toxin orbs around himself, and making things explode, a la the family trait of Crack Theory A? 

Logically he’s probs using wires or magnets or some shit, but it’s a fun thought to entertain 😁

------

Welp, we finally get the opening credits! … with Jonathan Crane smashing through the Mystery Machine’s windshield, set to a slow poppy song straight from the 60s, and spewing the title of the film out in glittery pink mist.

All the while Scooby and Shaggy throw candy at each other, deliberately obtuse to the cloud of fear toxin enveloping their friends and the townsfolk, the steady destruction of the Mystery Machine they’re laying in as multiple cars crash into it and send it spiraling, and the general mayhem and destruction that Scarecrow is causing

Never change, guys, never change

--------

I just choked on my lemonade

There’s an article plastered to the roof of the Mystery Machine titled “Talking Dog Confounds, Ignites Ethics Debate Over Dog Labor”

ahahahahaha

-------

Annnnnnnnd there goes the Mystery Machine, tumbling in the air and over the roads with Shaggy and Scooby still inside without seat belts. Will they perish in this horrible road accident? Will Death finally come to claim them at last?

Of course not. This is Shaggy and Scooby we’re talking about - I’m almost positive they can survive anything up to and including a nuclear bomb. This is child’s play to them.

-------

So they “capture” Scarecrow… by pinning his cape to a tree with crossbow bolts. 

And they do not try to at least tie up his arms or his hands in ANY capacity. 

JUST the cape. 

...you know, Velma, for a team with a “flawless” track record, you guys are making a hecking TON of mistakes in facing against one of Batman’s ROGUES GALLERY, ESPECIALLY with no Batman in sight, good freakin’ grief. 😩

------

Yaaaaaaaaas, this Scarecrow design is LUSH

He’s got the lank, the height, the BTAS costume colors, the elongated face with beaky nose and pointed chin and angular cheekbones, the eyebags like Gucci, the furrowed brow… honestly the only thing missing is the more reddish color hair, and even that isn’t mandatory. I love 😍

Not to mention the HOT DAYUM voice he has - low and velvet rough and so godsdamned particular in a way that could either tie in to obscuring a southern accent as in fanon or just as a stringent academic, oh my yes. He’s voiced by someone called Dwight Schultz, who’s most well known for playing Captain ‘Howling Mad’ Murdock in the OG A-Team show, and someone called Reginald Barclay in Star Trek TNG and Voyager, if any of y’all know that character in particular. 

And of course, the first line he says is a delightfully wry “Oh, but I AM getting away with it,” with the sort of smirk that absolutely lends credence to why he’s a threat to Batman, and not some simpering wimp that can be defeated with some crossbow bolts in a tree.

I think I’m going to enjoy this movie at least somewhat, so long as we get to see him 🥰🥰🥰

(tho on a side note: Daphne why on EARTH are you trying to film Crane saying the meddling kids line? Do you have a video compilation of past villains who’ve done that, and you hope to add his to it? Was your phone damaged when you went up against the Riddler a few DTVs ago and you want a second shot at recording a Gotham Rogue saying it? Bc I don’t think a Gotham Rogue would be too pleased with seeing himself as a Mystery Meme on the Youtubes, you get what I’m saying?)

-------

Okay, so the floating orb things are explained away as fear toxin bomb drones somehow… despite looking nothing like the other drones and being much smaller with no visible propulsion, while also flying unassisted through and around objects to explode against places once flung…

(tho interesting note, none of them are aimed directly at the crowds, just behind them - odd, that)

But how did he heckin’ FLY at the beginning?

Yeah, they show him wearing wrist-mounted grappling hooks at the end of the intro song sequence, but they are NOWHERE IN SIGHT at the beginning - and I do mean in sight, since he emerges against a backdrop of flames. There was nothing there (see the T-pose above for further evidence), and nothing there when he FLEW THROUGH THE MYSTERY MACHINE’S WINDSHIELD AND FLEW BACK OUT AGAIN. And these things are pale silver, which stands out like crazy against the darker backgrounds, so no hand-wavy ‘they were always being used’ bullcrap we’ve seen in other movies. 

Hmmm *scribbles in notepad* note to self, add notation concerning Crack Theory A on magic!Shaggy to “Uncle Crane” theory files - evidence denotes that Crane is able to fly (or at least hover in mid-air unassisted) for terrorization purposes. May boost strength of CTA by family association, lending credence to magic inheritance along the bloodline...

------

“Avocado Toast Generation”? Crane, I honestly don’t know if you really mean that, or if you understand just how much that phrase gets under any Millennial/Gen Z kid’s skin. Having seen multiple variations of your character, it really could swing either way (tho kudos on the dead switch idea - very nice 👍🏻) 

Although this does lead to an interesting stand-off: Fred, upon seeing the town threatened with 3 days worth of fear toxin, immediately moves to let Crane go, while Velma stops him and refuses to consider compromising if it means Crane escapes.  They both look legitimately frustrated at the other for taking the stance they do. 

Fascinating~

------

Hmmm

Crane honey, I don’t know if your drones are made of flash paper and hope, or if Scooby and Shaggy are using the reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally old candy (the stuff made about ~3 years ago most neighborhoods give out to the teenagers that knock around midnight on Halloween) to shoot them down, but either way you may wish to speak with the manufacturer about this

Then again, this IS Shaggy and Scooby - they probably could’ve spat marshmallows at the drones and brought them down with equal success and explosions 

(and good on them for shooting those down! Atta boy 👍🏻)

-------

Aw dang it

1. They still have Crane captured and now in handcuffs (despite having… you know… NOT been bound by anything except cross bolts in his curtain cape thing)

2. Dwight Schultz has decided to pitch his voice higher and more nasally than what he has. Hopefully this is more of an incredulous sort of pitch than something that sticks for the rest of the movie, ugh.

Also, I think they’re framing the movie to be more Velma-centric this time around - she’s the one explaining to Crane how they tracked him down, apparently through a piece of fan mail he sent Elvira (is that the only reason she’s there? Also why was Velma examining random pieces of fan mail for toxins, Elvira probs gets hundreds a week irl) and it looks like they’re framing something up on how fear isn’t something you can pretend isn’t there. neat!

------

whajit

53rd? 

53rd?!?!

ONLY 53rd?!?!?!?!

Boooo, Scarecrow’s WAY more popular than that! I call foul

---

Okay why is Daphne’s schtick so far to spit laaaaaaame slang after every sentence Velma says

I would rather this not be her schtick

Actually could she go back to filming mystery stuff, bc at least I can pretend it’ll build into the OG Zombie Island Daphne

----

Phew, his voice has returned to its low, raspy goodness

also, Crane needs to learn about personal space, good grief

(interesting clue brought up tho - Crane only steals tech that CAN’T leak his toxin, ergo it can’t be tracked until he releases it. Sensible use, given that Batman probs tracks it if it does.)

----

Velma: I’m not afraid of you, Crane. Fear is an illogical reaction to an imagined threat. 

Crane:

-----

Crane: Fearless, then. Intelligent. Proud and stubborn. You remind me very much of the one person in this world I care about. 

uhhhhhh

Yourself? Harley? Edward Nygma? Ichabod the raven? Idk, I’m honestly curious as to where this thread will go 🤔🤔🤔

-----

Fred, leaning against the Mystery Machine: Guys, it’s gonna be okay. She told me!

O_o

Fred? Honey? Are you sure you weren’t supposed to join Crane in the transport vehicle back to Arkham? 

----

OH SWEET JESUS SHAGGY GREW YAOI HANDS

WHAT THE HECK 

THAT’S WAY MORE UNNERVING THEN YOU GUYS NOT BEING AFRAID ANYMORE

(although the fact that they’re both unsettled by NOT constantly shaking or having their heart racing is honestly kind of heartbreaking. Y’all need therapy, good grief)

----

Shaggy and Scooby just chewed up candy (wrapper and all) to make themselves a Halloween costume of… what looks like barfed-up candy (ew)

Before then proceeding to dance so well that everyone around them also starts dancing in a 60s-70s era rainbow light show and giving them candy

I worry for these two sometimes - that kind of power seems to be getting to their head 😬😬😬

---

Oh hey, acid green toxic waste is spilling from an 18-wheeler onto the Fear Toxin drones and emitting a purple pink haze that envelops a pumpkin patch! That won’t do anything suspicious at all I bet!

(wait is Poison Ivy going to come into this at some point)

(also major kudos to the music here - very 80s horror synth, I like)

----

So the Pumpkins have grown faces, limbs, consciousness, the ability to fly and a lust for human flesh

And they appear to be led by the Pumpkin King of the Pumpkin Patch mentioned in the Charlie Brown Halloween special

He’s not as friendly as I pictured him being, sadly 😕

---

Why is this random ass cop coming up to FD&V to say that they’re in over their heads… AFTER the mystery’s been solved?

Like dude, you’re only making yourself suspicious at this point, go home

----

Huh, interesting - the gang are being interviewed for a tv news network while they’re considered the town heroes

Why am I getting bad vibes from this…

Eh, it’s probably nothing

----

Velma: {Shaggy and Scooby} are, um… REALLY into the Halloween spirit. 

Shaggy: THIS ISN’T COSPLAY, VELMA!

I’m dying 😂

------

Holy Shit

Velma just snapped and went off on Shaggy and Scooby for acting scared and doing nothing to help wrap up the mystery

(even though these guys are the ONLY reason that the gang didn’t have to choose between setting Scarecrow free and poisoning the entire town for 3 days straight, but hey, what do I know - I’m just writing an in-depth reaction post to this movie and taking note of details like this, clearly I know nothing *eye roll*)

Last time I saw Velma critique the guys’ usual mystery solving shenanigans, it was much more low-key and without knowing they were nearby

But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence

------

What the

Bills?

Bills?!?!

Fred just mentioned that fixing the Mystery Machine was going to leave a hefty bill and that they may need to get dishwashing jobs to earn money

Which is more of a job you might expect a high schooler to get on the go and yet

They actually have to pay bills 

How old are they here??!

------

wait a tic

THIS is how they introduce Bill Nye?

He just calls up Velma with no explanation other than Velma saying “Oh hey, it’s Bill Nye!”

I just - what?!?!

How do you know him so well that he can just pull up your number and call you, and then geT YOU A NEW FREAKING CAR LIKE

WHAT?!?!?!?

Was there a Scooby episode with him in the past two years where the fcuk did this come from

------

Also the car is dressed like Bill Nye

And he can talk to the gang directly as the car

So that he can solve mysteries with them whenever he wants

This… this was not what I was expecting to come about from the Bill Nye cameo 

(alas, poor predictions of being Crane’s roommate, you will not come to pass this day) 😔

-------

Ooooo, purple haze throbbing on the horizon! That’s always a good sign of things to come! 😀

------

 And now Daphne’s… asking Elvira to mentor her fashion wise. And Elvira’s taking her on as her unpaid intern/personal assistant.

Yooo, movie, can you pick a direction and stick with it for Daphne? You’ve gone from her spewing outdated slang to wanting a costume for trick-or-treating, and now this. 

-------

Welp, now I can say I saw a giant pumpkin dog vore an old woman

I didn’t WANT to see that mind, but I guess I can say it now 😐

------

OH SHIT NO

IT TURNED HER INTO A FLYING PUMPKIN SHAPED LIKE HER FACE

ABSOLUTELY UNSETTLING, 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND

-------

At least we get a nice scene of Daphne kicking the pumpkins’ collective butt

Something normal

------

Elvira: WOW! You’re a regular Mary Sue!

*falls over cackling*

------

And now there’s a giant purple fissure opening up in the concrete to swallow the town of Crystal Cove whole 

(good, i whisper softly into the darkness of my living room. Let it fall)

--------

Man, I feel so bad for this single father right now

He’s gotten wrapped up in all of this nonsense with his daughter, and he is just Distraught at being chased by Jackal Lanterns, having the town collapsing under his feet, and having to gorge jump in his sedan to get away from the worst of it

It’s okay, Mike Dad - we would feel the same way in your shoes

-------

Hologram Bill Nye is wearing Cat ears and cat whiskers/nose, and is cleaning his hands like a cat cleans its paws

Why was this the movie we found out Bill Nye was a furry

Why Warner Bros 

Why would you inflict this upon us in a Scooby Doo-Scarecrow mystery

-------

Hey, can Jonathan Crane return now? The movie needs its dignity back. 

------

A clue on the whys here - the town was built on top of a MASSIVE lithium deposit, with the talks to mine it being scrapped due to environmental concerns. That’s actually a decent lead in for why some 

-------

Welp

The Jackal Lanterns just went full Mad Max with the Halloween Parade floats and cars

No, I don’t have any idea why either, just roll with it

-------

Nice, they confirmed that Fred’s full name is still Frederick Herman Jones XD

Also a great little action sequence with Daphne - while there’s not much movement, they frame the scene dynamically, with some good quick wordplay. Very nice. 

--------

Velma has a mind palace

Aight

--------

Velma: Shaggy, I could kiss you!

Oh, to hear this as a child, when I still hardcore shipped Shelma *sigh*

------

Oh thank gods we’re going back to Scarecrow again

------

Shaggy ate some Scooby Snacks, leapt out of a moving vehicle, and onto the backs of two flying pumpkins that he promptly reined in to fly to Crane’s prison transport

...yet again, I am amazed at the sentences I am led to type for Scooby Doo DTVs

------

Ah, how very Hannibal Lector of you, Jon 

Man, he actually looks very meek in normal clothes - red long-sleeved shirt and grey slacks

-----

Hmmm

So Crane ISN’T behind the Jackal Lanterns - in fact he’s outright befuddled by them. This means his whole spiel to Velma earlier about both of them being caught in the same trap was… metaphorical? The breakdown doesn’t actually go into WHY he thinks they’re in the same trap - Crane’s whole schtick is tied to accepting fear, not denying it, so why would they be the same?

Either way, someone is using both him and Mystery Inc to do something to Crystal Cove (please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring, please be Red Herring)

Actually, that reference at the beginning really WAS a red herring - they framed it as being Jon the whole time when it wasn’t. Kudos!

Additional kudos to having Jon be seen more out of mask than in - he is a looker, and I aim to look as much as I can ;)

-------

Annnnd Daphne’s now trying to convince Elvira to switch clothes with her

I don’t get it - how on earth did we get from Daphne trying to find a good costume for trick-or-treating to asking Elvira to switch oh there it is nevermind.

-----

There is literally a scene where a giant buzzsaw is slicing towards Crane

and he just

stares at it

going “huh, that’s different”

And I LOVE IT

------

And here we have another fascinating scene: Velma going to free Crane from his cell, as Daphne tells her to just leave him to die by pumpkin

I’m wondering if they meant to draw a parallel between the two here - Velma starts by reciting a nursery rhyme, then overcoming her fears in order to release madness to take control. It’s not done very cleanly - mainly bc we barely have any time with Crane in this movie - but I wonder if they meant to insinuate that Crane was like Velma once, where he refused to acknowledge he was afraid, which caused him to lose focus on his initial goals

Idk, ignore my ramblings

---

Crane, smirking: I’ll need my personal effects - extenuating circumstances.

Me, fanning myself: I’ll need you to remove yours first

(i am not even kidding, Crane is an absolute DILF in this movie and it flusters me. Stupid sexy animation)

---

YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSS

SCARECROW TO THE MOTHERFCUKING RESCUE BABY, SCYTHE AND FCUKING ALL!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

----

FCUK YEAH THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

HE HAS A DANCE LIKE QUALITY WITH SOME OF HIS FIGHTING MOVES

VIOLENT DANCING BRINGS THE GIANT JACKAL LANTERN DOWN BABY

THEN HE BACKFLIPS AND GYMNASTIC SWINGS INTO THE VAN

ROCK IT SCARECROW FCUKING ROCK IT

(minor note here, but the subtitles show Dr. Crane instead of Scarecrow - unsure if that’s more that the movie calls him Dr Crane or if it indicates he’s acting more heroic than villainous)

---

GODDAMNIT

THE GIANT PUMPKIN SNUCK VINES INTO THE VAN AND STOLE HIM BACK 

WHEN CRANE WAS... wearing a seatbelt before, but isn’t now.

...

BOOOOO

---

Yet again, we find a Scooby movie that attempts character development, but with Velma

Unlike Shaggy’s Showdown however, I’m mixed on how successful it is.

For starters, Velma hasn’t been this cocksure in other DTVs we’ve seen, so it’s a bit odd to see it now. While not 100% out of place - after all, the gang DID capture one of Batman’s Rogues Gallery on their own - it still feels a touch forced. Compare that to Shaggy’s Showdown, where Shaggy has ALWAYS been a coward (one that, in more recent years, writers have had willing to abandon his friends for safety), so the character development there feels more natural. 

The progression of events with Velma actually work somewhat okay - but again, here’s where past DTVs come to bite them in the ass. The past handful have had the gang be wrong, have had them fail, or catch the wrong guy. This makes Velma’s attitude here at odds with the other films, something that sticks more due to a character that’s appeared in the past few films as a minor inconvenience - a Sheriff who keeps telling the gang not to interfere, they’re doing things wrong, etc. If this had been a character who was completely wrong in the past AND SHOWN TO BE WRONG FOR HIS OPINIONS, while the gang never guessed wrong, this would work much better. Unfortunately, it doesn’t, and here we are. 

I think it would have flowed better if Velma’s cockiness came solely from catching Crane on their own. Have a random cop character or reporter or whatever (just not the recurring cop), insinuate that the gang is in too deep with Scarecrow, that he should be handled by the adults or professionals or whatever. Velma could bristle, overcompensate, and THEN fall from her pedestal like we see, reach out to the gang and commiserate over feeling scared, and grow. Again, it’s not too far to reach for, but they handle it poorly; as a result, the outcome feels a little more shoehorned in. 

It’s an honest shame, bc we haven’t had a Velma centered story since Frankencreepy, and we all remember what a hideous fcuking mess THAT was *shudders*. Still, it somewhat gets its point across, I guess.

---

Fred why did you rip your shirt off

Actually better question why do you not have nipples

--- 

Awwwwwww

Velma just apologized to Shag and Scoob for snapping at them earlier, and admits how she doesn’t appreciate how much they make Mystery Inc what it is

Also she eats a Scooby Snack with them and admits they taste pretty good

----

Huh

Velma’s mind palace is the Mystery Machine driving through space

Also Shaggy and Scooby are able to telepathically follow her in and communicate with her

Literally, they actually followed her into her head telepathically, and show her their memories of things she hasn’t gotten to see tonight (while also possibly enhancing her ability to remember things, given how much DETAIL she captures perfectly of things that she would maybe have glimpsed in a millisecond AT MOST)

...another tally for Crack Theory A of magic! Shaggy and Scooby *scribbles*

-------

Fred, be very very thankful that there are no people operating those pumpkins in person cause uhhhh

Those traps would be spraying red instead of orange

------

Another weird music choice - the gang goes up to fight the Jackal Lanterns, but the music is the same 60s bubble we heard earlier 

Not terribly atmospheric, really

(wouldn’t a Smashing Pumpkins cover of Scooby Doo be more appropriate, or did you guys spend all your money on hiring Elvira and Bill Nye?)

------

Dang

Velma just admitted her fears and jumped into the mouth of the Mega Pumpkin, before getting Fred to use the app from earlier to shut it down, revealing it to be a giant drone surrounded by smaller pumpkin drones

This feels… counterintuitive, but I’ll try to explain at the end

---

Okay

I’ll admit it

The Whodunnit is actually pretty decent in concept

There was a sprinkling of tidbits that could be assembled for the final conclusion and still make a decent amount of sense, all to find the sheriff doing it 

Only he isn’t a sheriff

He’s a former Tech CEO who was also busted by the gang years ago in a case the Sheriff kept bringing up throughout the movie - due to his prison sentence, he lost more than half his wealth and the opportunity to expand it further with the Crystal Cove Lithium deposits

He was also someone who sold tech to Crane for his fear toxin distribution, where he got the idea to frame him for it

(tho on a side note, Crane is an absolute dork and a terrible liar - just look at the email he sent XD and that profile pic, my gods)

He deliberately picked at the gang for the past few DTVs (specifically 2: Return to Zombie Island and Curse of the 13th Ghost) to fracture their confidence, undermine them, etc - all so that in one fell swoop, he could retake his fortune, frighten everyone in town away from the mines so they couldn’t interfere, frighten away the gang (while also ruining their reputation as mystery solvers), and take Crane off the docket so he couldn’t identify the CEO when he pretended to be the sheriff

This… is actually a pretty damn good plan, for a Scooby villain. He was patient, manipulative, and clever, learning how best to tie up loose ends and win back what he lost. A clever revenge story that came so close to coming to fruition, and could have honestly been sold convincingly… 

...if it hadn’t been done so much better in Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed. 

Yeeeaaaah, this movie basically lifts the rough framework up from that one - past mystery villain comes back to attack the gang and ruin their reputation (tho this one decides to also make his fortune back and tie up loose ends with former criminal contacts, a la Crane). Gang is embarrassed in front of the news folk, another villain is framed for it (like Old Man Wickles of the Black Knight fame), and the gang must reconcile to foil the villain for good.

Although it also??? Merges elements of Frankencreepy in it?? The movie is focused on Velma, who is struggling to admit when she’s wrong (which ties into her fear, somehow… I’ll think on that point a little) and things purportedly go haywire when she won’t bend. This… isn’t illustrated as well here, since there’s very little direct cause-and-effect from Velma’s actions that would prove this point - that insisting her way is the right, best, and therefore only way to go ends up making things worse.  

As much as I despised Frankencreepy (and I DESPISED IT), it did do that part well - showing that refusing to budge on something can lead to you hurting your friends (literally, in that one), and that admitting you were wrong and need help isn’t the end of the world. 

(that movie also had former villains returning to gain vengeance upon the gang using psychological warfare, hm - may need to go over that one again, unfortunately).

It’s a shame, too -  the basic elements for this plot are all here, they just need to be polished and reworked a bit to make a really fascinating movie. 

------

Anyways, back to the asshat CEO who just… faked being a sheriff. Because white people can get away with that so long as they have the outfit and the car *throws up hands* (the sad part is this is probably something that actually happens)

As he drives away we see a familiar silhouette looming in the cornfields, watching him approach

Velma had Bill Nye on speaker, so he could record the entire confession for the federal officers nearby (who were taking Scarecrow back to Arkham), and track the phone signal to his exact location

And right as his holographic call cuts out, we see the shadow of a Scarecrow looming over him, causing him to scream.

When the feds arrive at his final location, both his body and the money have vanished. The car still sits, engine running, before the crows leering over him from the field vanish into the sky. 

-------

Now that he’s dead, the gang walks and finds themselves at a Halloween party, with friendly faces and good food. The mystery is solved, though the culprit may never be found again. 

Then Daphne admits to NOT trying to steal Elvira’s costume for Halloween, but instead trying to steal Elvira’s identity and replace her. 

Something that she’s apparently nearly gotten away with on past mysteries working with Phillis Diller

*sighs* movie, why couldn’t you just stick to the costume schtick? This is just… so much worse. 

-----

From there, Elvira walks off to wrap things up, reveal the monster face on the back of her head sans wig (which was also a monkey), and start the credits, where we see the gang working to bring the Mystery Machine back to its former glory a la Frankenstein pastiche. 

This movie… this movie is a hot mess, but at least it’s an OKAY hot mess. 

It really does feel like someone started writing a decent Velma-focused movie concerning the Scarecrow and a past Mystery Inc villain interfering, but was bogged down by notes from higher-ups: Wait! Write in Elvira! Also write in Bill Nye! Hey, let’s have a Mad Max car chase with the Jackal Lanterns! And have Daphne obsessed with literally becoming Elvira! Also make reference to things that we’ll insist be explained this way instead of a way that makes sense! Great!

(seriously tho, we never find out who Crane cares about most that reminds him of Velma, what the heck?)

It’s like two or three different scripts were smooshed together without being cleaned up - stuff is said that doesn’t get resolved, the celebrity guests don’t get to breathe much and feel squished together, and the build-up for the villain feels… less impactful, even knowing that he’s been in the past two films. 

It might have worked if he’d been in… let’s say like 5 or 6 DTVs in a row, speaking roles for dissing the gang growing in each (ex start with “Good job kids! But maybe next time, leave it to the professionals, okay?” and growing more bitter from there), but only 2 feels kind of meh. Still, I do appreciate the clues we got to collect together, and they all work in the final breakdown of the scheme - some DTVs can feel like they pull stuff completely out of nowhere, so kudos there. 

I appreciate what they wanted to do with Velma - give her a character development arc similar to Shaggy’s in Shaggy’s Showdown. Unfortunately, it wasn’t set up quite so neatly: they blended her ‘refusal to admit fear’ with her overconfidence that she was always right, and it led to a weird conclusion. To face her fears, she leapt into the Giant Pumpkin, which… proved that she was right all along about it being fake, and that solves things somehow. It doesn’t address how she can get something wrong sometimes, it doesn’t really address what she’s afraid of (which is honestly quite good: she’s afraid of failing in a way that allows bad guys to escape justice and in a way that hurts her friends), it’s just a bit of a mess. Points for aiming the focus the right way (and in a way that DOESN’T sexualize the underage teenage girl, unlike some DTVs cough cough Frankencreepy cough cough), but it’s very very messy how it goes about it. 

The movie actually balanced pretty well for the whole gang - no excessive focus on one leaving the rest in the dust (too much at least - Fred was a touch underdeveloped, but nowhere near as annoying as past iterations have been. Shaggy and Scooby were kind of meh in some places but great in others, while Daphne was just odd. I think they were trying to recapture the BCSD Daphne characterization, but they failed. Still, she did spend some good time kicking ass with the pumpkins, so that was fun.

Now for the Rogue, Jonathan Crane. If you like Crane, this movie gives you: maniacal Scarecrow, calm and creepy Crane, a brief glimpse at fanboy!Crane (he admits in his own awkward way that he’s a fan of Elvira, and later tells her he loves her work - it’s fun), and (best of all for me) a heroic Crane - one who helps the protagonists and ends up kicking ass pretty damn well, brief as it was. And while DILF Crane is always a treat, he feels underutilized in this. In comparison, Scooby Doo/Batman Brave and the Bold really utilized a lot of different aspects of Riddler, to the point he actually does feel pretty menacing by the third act. It’s a shame we don’t quite get that with Crane, but I do love seeing him 1. More out of mask, and 2. Acting as a good guy (in his own way), so he’s enjoyable on the whole. 

I kind of wish that the whole movie was spent more with Crane, but again, the script is a bit of a mess on this part - the fact that he’s not completely screwed over is a goddamn miracle. 

Elvira was… okay. She didn’t have much of a purpose beyond getting the plot started and giving Daphne some hooks to play off of. Bill Nye (abrupt as his introduction was) did provide some necessary elements to the mystery, as well as the tech; he wasn’t too bad by the end. (still a touch bitter we didn’t get ex roommate Nye, but hey, what can you do)

Humor was… mixed. Some good, some meh, but very few long enough to feel painful. Some bits felt extraneous at times, but they did help to build to the conclusion, so points for effort.

At the end of the day though, I’m probably keeping this more for Jonathan Crane than anyone else. It does have a lot of fanfic potential tho 🤔🤔🤔

That’s all from me tonight, folks! Hope you enjoyed my own little breakdown of the movie. 

[bciwasinlove]

So twitter is a mess tonight and henries continue to piss everyone off. Again I wonder why I let @lovemylarents convince me to return. 😭

Anyways heres my thoughts on everything tonight directed to the henries and any other current group that hates larries...✌🏻 (will probs post on twitter for those there to see)

Starting off just so you all know telling us to unstan over our opinions, telling us we are delusional, disgusting, our favs would hate us, and (on twitter) sending us fancams, is nothing new to us and we don't care how you feel about us. We will continue to exist believing what we do for as long as it takes for them to fully be free bc NEITHER of them are free whether you choose to see it or not.

H is in what you call a "glass closet" bc he gets to dress a certain way and make certain comments but he is still shown as a womanizer who wants to date/fuck any woman he meets which btw way makes the GP LGBT+ think he is a queerbaiter. Tell me where you think that is normal or a good thing?! The "glass closet" image is just to keep all groups of fans wanting to stay fans of his but does NOT go over well with the GP. Also you say WE are disgusting for believing with 10 years worth of evidence H is with L but some of you ship him with every costar/duet partner he has even if their married or recently divorced or tweet about the things you want to do with H the double standard runs high.

With L well come on if you don't see El is not a real gf by now I don't know what to tell you. But L image wise L has just as shit of an image as H. In the beginning he was seen as the "flamboyant" (his words) most likely gay twink one. Then out of no where mainly during 2013 to 16 they tried to make L out to be some homophobic, asshole, gets drunk, party boy who took a bunch of random woman he met at clubs back to his hotel room (one of them being B) In NO WAY will you EVER get me to believe THAT is who I choose to stan.

His twitter with the whole I am straight tweet was in regards to an article PRAISING HIM FOR BEING AN ALLY bc he wore a rainbow apple shirt after the CEO came out it had NOTHING to do with Larry or calling L gay so that tweet of him being upset makes him look homophobic (playing into L bad image that manages to gaslight us) so he 100% didn't tweet that. My question I always have to henries is if u hate L so much and like to call him a r@t why tf do u care so much about trying to prove he's straight using THAT homophobic tweet as proof? Are you scared larrie are right?

What really annoys me is I don't see how someone who has only been around only during FL/Gucci era H can dare tell someone who has been around since Jack Wills/Curly mop hair days they are wrong when pointing out how things have changed. If you have only been around for no more then 2 years you would have no idea how different things are. Doing this tho is NOT hating H we know who H is and how much he loves and is grateful for his fans we are simply pointing out the problem which is his management specifically Jeff his manager.

They have turned H into this godlike untouchable I'm above others rockstar that they are shoving down everyone's throat and eventually this will backfire on them. We are 100% happy H is getting more recognition but the way they are trying to achieve this is not the best way bc if u push an artist to much people get tired and annoyed of that artist. They should just let H do his thing appear the way he use to his talent is enough to get him far this crazy confusing image does nothing to help him.

I'm tired of you henries acting like the way things are now is normal when it's NOT. H use to be so active with the fans and would tweet out to us and even just tweet or post on insta funny things now his SM's are all business and nothing personal. It's all business down to who he follows bc he doesn't even follow his mom on insta.

I'm also tired of you all acting like H hates 1D when he LOVES the boys and his time in 1D. He sings 1D songs on tour, he rocks out to 1D songs and listens it while working out. YOU only think he hates 1D bc that is apart of his untouchable above everyone image is Jeff making others feel he doesn't care for 1D. That much was clear when at a Dunkirk premiere the interviewer asked H about the boys and he has his giant dimpled smile happy to talk about them and then someone who was in charge of H off camera says stick to the topic and H gets confused and sad after. They want you to believe this facade image which sadly seems to work on some of you.

All I have left to say is we have been here supporting H&L for almost a decade you are NOT the first group to try and gaslight us and HSHQ is not the first verified acc to inable the gaslighting against us. It first started with 1DHQ/simon making other groups in the fandom hate us and think larry is disgusting and now the tourch has just been passed over to HSHQ/jeff to inable the gaslighting on us but we are still here still going strong no matter what you choice to believe the truth is.

It's very clear we were here long before you guys, have seen MANY side groups (that also hated us) come and go and we WILL be here long after when you guys get bored and leave. In 5 years times I KNOW we will still be here will most of u will have left and a new toxic grew will have risen so keep barking your 4D's and unstan messages at us as if this is anything new to us bc it won't change a damn thing. Lastly, a lot of us have tickets to their shows so have fun seeing the ones you hate in person hopefully next year if not the year after. 🤩✌🏻

[divine-draws]

quirkless hero izuku au shit. all of it is gunna be under the cut bc i KNOW this will get long.. p much just a list of hcs and how the au goes for Me at least

also feel free to send me asks about the au. i may draw some stuff for it too!!!

okay so obvs izuku doesnt get afo

id say that the events of the start of bnha p much happen as in like the whole sludge/slime monster and meeting all might

and we get the rooftop scene but instead when all might is asked if izuku can be a quirkless hero he hesitates for a moment but, knowing the answer HE wanted to hear, he says yes. or p much says yes

izuku isnt outright discouraged like in canon. i think all might though isnt the most motivated person about it bc that wasnt the case for him but he also knows what kids want to hear.. buuut also he like.. doesnt want this kid hurting himself

izuku sees small might form and all that but yeah he’s fucking determined

and id say the same shit with izuku running out to fight happens but when he’s heading home after being admonished he runs into small might and-

p much yagi grabs this kid by the scruff of his neck and is like you CAN be a hero without a quirk but please for the love of god do not go running into fights like that again. 

and so like in canon all might trains him BUT it’s not exactly to pass down his quirk. all might doesnt TELL him about his quirk but low key feels like this kid has the potential and shit. trains his body and shit before his entrance exams and all that and like in canon he ends up trying to pass on his quirk before the exam

this time though, upon izuku now finding out the truth of all might’s quirk, he.. declines. he’s like thank you but no thanks. i’ve thought about this for a while and like.. i want to do this without a quirk. without help

(later though bc it’s izuku he’s in his room fucking screaming internally because he turned down being all might’s successor WTF IS WRONG WITH HIM??? but dw this was a Good choice)

so obvs the au can go a couple ways here BUT honestly bc it’s my au and ppl can make unrealistic aus if they want im saying he manages to get enough rescue points in the entrance exam to juuust scrape by to getting into class 1-A. yay hero course!!!

id say a similar thing to canon happens but he does more rescue shit ending w him saving uraraka and lol idk he probs gets kinda crushed tho. this boy’s bones are NOT safe even in this au

so yeah it’s sick though him and his mom cry a bunch when he finds out he got in. yagi is so fucking proud of this boy like oh wtf. 

(also side plot of all might meeting mirio who ends up being his successor. this time it’s mirio and izuku and all might doing those ofa meetings and shit bc izuku knows and he’s fucking SO SMART and is rlly good at analysis and strategy and give me that good good senpai mirio relationship w izuku. they joke around a LOT and it’s good izuku has friends in 1-A and a pseudo older brother in mirio. anyway!)

p much i think the plot follows some very similar things except we got some tweaks to it that are better

izuku is like.. mei’s fucking playgroud. it’s free realestate!! he is fucking insane and they become friends and he tries out her babies and really he just gets some kick ass support items. the support items arent everything but i mean they really help. between mobility and so on. and like this kid can pack a PUNCH/kick so like having his steeltoed boots and like brass knuckle equivalents etc help make it that much worse

anyway so sports festival ?? oh man!!! 

so for the sports festival honestly izuku didnt use his quirk much in canon ANYWAY so like easy translation imo. he uses his big ass nerdy brain !!!

but then we still get the scene between todoroki and him and when they get out there to duke it out like.. we still get that lovely “it’s your quirk” shit 

i think it’s a lotta just izuku using his brain to avoid being fucking frosted and like him getting some Good Hits in on shouto. 

he does loose. it’s not as explosive as the canon fight but he def sacrifices his own chance of proving himself even more by getting in the top three to just.. help shouto. bc that’s just who he is though and through

shouto may have gone a bit overboard and once again izuku ends up with a shattered arm. so worth it tho

(also listen i may not get to that point in all this but todomido/tododeku is a THING 10000% in this au)

uuuuuh. yeah but honestly i think a lotta ppl are like..rlly surprised when they hear that he’s quirkless or whatever. and like duh this kid is fucking so good stfu he can do all this without a quirk

he works harder than anyone there and deserves so much

also no deku hero name. none of that shit in my house

tbh atm dont know what it would be. just the one that i hear enough of like dekiru

but id be way down for it to be like.. something diff idk

honestly i have so many more thoughts in my head. so send me questions about it or whatever. i just love this and think izuku NOT getting ofa is like.. so good