#pro negative high
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charleswaldorfphotography · 7 months ago
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"Vacation" Sugar Land Space Cowboys - Misael Tamarez Round Rock, Texas 3/30/2024
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romanticatheartt · 1 month ago
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I die for these soft, domestic moments...
I laughed in earnest, and squeezed his face as I pressed a swift kiss to his mouth. “Shameless flirt.” The warmth returned to his eyes at last. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ I kissed his bare neck, and he reached back to drag a finger down my cheek. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Rhys came over and handed me a hairpin. We worked in unison, pinning my hair into place. Rhys pinned a hard-to-reach section of my hair. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ He leaned down, nuzzling my throat. “Don’t you want to comfort your mate, who has missed you terribly these weeks?” I planted a hand on his face and pushed him back, scowling. “I want my mate to tell me where the hell he was. Then he can get his comfort.” Rhys nipped at my fingers, teeth snapping playfully. “Cruel, beautiful female.” ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ I studied the hand, the ravaged face. Such pain lingered there—and exhaustion. The face he never let anyone see. I pushed up onto my knees and kissed his cheek, his skin warm and soft beneath my mouth. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ So I wrote back, At least you make up for your shameless flirting by being one hell of a High Lord. He’d returned that evening, smirking like a cat, and had merely said “One hell of a High Lord?” by way of greeting. I’d sent a bucket’s worth of water splashing into his face. Rhys hadn’t bothered to shield against it. And instead shook his wet hair like a dog, spraying me until I yelped and darted away. His laughter had chased me up the stairs. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ A half smile that had me walking toward him, stopping between his legs. He braced his hands idly on my hips. He rested his brow against my chest, right between my breasts, and wrapped his arms around my waist. For a long minute, he only breathed in the scent of me, as if taking it deep into his lungs. ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ “You look exhausted, that’s why.” He put a dramatic hand over his heart. “Your concern warms me more than any winter fire, my love.” I rolled my eyes and sat up. “Did you at least eat?” He shrugged, his dark shirt straining across his broad shoulders. “I’m fine.” His gaze slid over my bare legs as I pushed back the covers. Heat bloomed in me, but I shoved my feet into slippers. “I’ll get you food.” “I don’t want—” “When did you last eat?” A sullen silence. “I thought so.” I hauled a fleece-lined robe around my shoulders... “You don’t need to—” “I want to, and I’m going to.”... “Did you eat at all today?” “I had an apple this morning.” “Rhys.” He set down his fork, his mouth twitching toward a smile. “Feyre.” I crossed my arms. “No one is too busy to eat.” “You’re fussing.” “It’s my job to fuss. And besides, you fuss plenty. Over far more trivial things.” ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ “You look beautiful tonight.” His words were low, rough. I stroked a hand down the lap of my gown, the fabric shimmering beneath my fingers. “You say that every night.” “And mean it.” ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ His fingers threaded through my hair, tilting my face up. That wicked smile grew, and my toes curled in their boots. “There’s my darling Feyre.”
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arson-09 · 3 months ago
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Have been seeing some discussion again about tamlin being a good High Lord or not and I just have to remind everyone of one of the best little facts from acotar I never really seen mentioned.
Acotar, Chapter 25 Page 221
She [Alis] simply said, "Summer Solstice. The main celebration used to be at the Summer Court, but... Things are different. So now we have one here, too. You're going."
"so now we have one here too..." Because of amarantha and Tamlin being just a good person he allowed anyfae from any court to come to spring. And because no one could really go back to their courts for their respective solstice celebrations, Tamlin made sure Spring Celebrated all of them
I just think that's such a cool fucking thing. That Tamlin cared for the people coming to spring for safety, and he made changes to help everyone feel comfortable and at home. He cares about the people who live in Spring, he cares so damn much :(((
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unforgivenyunjin · 2 months ago
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Til this day it makes me laugh that Azriel overpacked Nesta’s bag whilst knowing that she was about to climb a mountain because she hurt Feyre.
Him silently raging at people is one of the funniest things about him.
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sirenium · 4 months ago
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>goes onto DID tag
>sees like ten anti endos immediately
>closes DID tag
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dihalect · 1 year ago
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i need to post about palestine on facebook but i'm fucking terrified
#i went to a very jewish college and a very decent percentage of my fb 'friends' are jewish zionists.#i don't use fb often but when i've checked recently‚ i've found a handful of pro-israel posts‚ and they've been well-received.#i have seen one person put a palestine frame on their profile picture. they got a small‚ mostly positive but some negative‚ response.#that's all the reference i have here.#and very importantly: i feel like pretty much anything i say is going to be received as goysplaining.#i think my best bet is to stay away from historical arguments (like‚ yes palestine does actually exist‚ yes it was bad to force them off of#their land in the first place‚ etc)#and also avoid my personal feelings on this re: my relationship with judaism (which is integral to the message i want to send but w/e)#and focus on israel's very obvious current indefensible actions.#however. i feel like i'm doing the movement a disservice if i don't call for a free palestine and explain what that actually means.#but doing that would increase my risk of getting dogpiled from 'high' to 'inevitable'.#and i am not articulate!!! people might try to rebut me‚ and i am very bad at debate!!!!!!! i have multiple anxiety disorders!!!!!!#and people get fired over this kind of thing. i know the chance is small‚ but i don't know if i want to risk my career over this.#my gut is telling me to wait until i'm sure. but i don't know if or when that will happen.#i want to change *someone's* mind‚ but idk if i'll even be able to do that. maybe just my uninformed hometown gentile friends'.#i want to do this before it's 'too late'. but what does 'too late' mean here? my fb friends aren't launching the missiles.#i suppose my goal is to help turn the tide of public opinion‚ in the hopes that that'll affect the politicians/corps at play here.#but maybe i'm more likely to do that by marching. making posters. talking to acquaintances. who knows what else.#just because i don't *see* those minds change doesn't mean they're not changing. maybe those minds are actually more likely to change.#txt
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marklikely · 2 years ago
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the framing of the critic character in the menu really pissed me off bc no offense but if i was paying 12k for a meal and you served me a broken emulsification id comment on it too
#man. she was engaging in good faith with the art of the meal the entire time and the movie is just like. lol isn't she sooo pretentious#isnt it so pretentious to engage with high art and try to read into the artistry of it. just eat a cheeseburger#god that movie thematically was so stupid.#avpost#i have watched enough food network to know that not breaking a sauce is like#its not easy but its a basic skill that a professional chef is expected to have. and youre charging thousands for this#within your own metaphor its like you can't get pissy when a critic notices your very rookie mistakes#that frankly you shouldn't be making at a high level of prestigious art.#also for me any art thats like 'look this critic character is so mean they just hurt the poor artists' will literally never play#if one honest negative review shuttered your small business restaurant then maybe you were bad at food. sorry#AND LIKE. ok i know plenty of art has been unfairly panned by critics who didnt really get it#but in my eyes when i see a piece of art complain abt critics it doesnt come across that way#its more like 'im a scam artist and i dont like that critics can call me out for making garbage and passing it off as art'#thats just always how it plays to my eyes and ears yknow#like it feels overly defensive and thin skinned like you just cant handle people not liking your creation.#so yeah. im always gonna like default to 'idk man maybe the critics had a point about you'#im also just in general like. i dont often agree with professional critics but im glad they exist. im pro critique.#which makes me biased lol
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pix4japan · 2 years ago
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City River
Katabira River (帷子川) as seen from Hiranuma Bridge just southwest of Yokohama Station. The river starts in Asahi Ward as a little brook and runs right next to Yokohama Station where it empties into Tokyo Bay.
The river is surprisingly clean and offers sanctuary to a wide variety of waterfowl, aquatic animals, fish, and aquatic plant life.
On weekends, you might be able to catch kayakers making their way upriver from the Port of Yokohama.
Fujifilm X100V (23 mm) with 5% diffusion filter ISO 800 for 1/250 sec. at ƒ/2.0 Pro Negative High film simulation
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starkeyisthelastname · 4 months ago
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OHHH ANOTHER THOUGHT!!!!!!!
idk how the porn community works HALSJKS but if its a thing to like ….. ship them ig??? … how would rafe react to r’s video with another dude being posted on twitter (maybe the first vid she’s made since her vid with rafe) and everyone’s in the comments being like “omg yas this is so hot!!!” “omg this is so much better than her and rafe!!” BALJEKS IDK
the first time someone’s talked negatively about him and it’s actually effected him 😅 he doesn’t like this ego being bruised
It was rare that Rafe checked social media, he just didn’t care about what people thought. He was pornstar and was used to being judged for his career choice and especially for the brutal way he fucked his costars. It was the Twitter notification he got though, with his name and your name tagged along with someone else’s who he didn’t know that caught his attention.
He opened the video, his blue eyes darkening as soon as he saw what it was. It was some nobody with a dick half the size of his, trying to make you cum. He could tell by the moans you were giving that it was all an act, and it ignited something in him he didn’t like. Watching another man fuck you, even if it was your job wasn’t something he particularly was a fan of. He had always loved pussy and money, and never once thought of ever quitting his rather successful porn career for anyone, until you started occupying his mind all day every day. He just couldn’t bring himself to end it yet, his addiction to sex and money way too deep.
As he went to exit out the app, a comment caught his eye. “Wow. She’s a pro at taking dick.” He scoffed as he read it out loud. What dick were you takin? That clown was the size of a pinky compared to him. It was the next one down that had his head raging in a way he had never experienced. ‘Her and @therafecameron video was weak compared to this. 🤣’ He seethed, these stupid idiots comments getting to him and bruising his extremely high ego. His knee bounced rapidly, thumb at the edge of his mouth as his mind raced wildly.
It was the phone, turned into landscape mode as Rafe’s long arm aimed it down to let it capture you taking dick. His free hand was wrapped in your hair, yanking your head back as he drilled into you at a brutal speed. The makeup you had on was smeared, tears streaming down your sparkly cheeks as he had some point to prove. He didn’t exactly say what, but it was a chance to get fucked by the man you were becoming obsessed with.
“Who’s fucking dick are you takin?” Rafe asked, his voice dripping venom as he yanked your head to make you look at him. His blue eyes, peered down at you in a predatory manner as he forced you to give him an answer.
The answer you gave was incoherent, your words coming out in babbles as an insane amount of pleasure was taking over your body. Your eyes rolled back, his huge dick tearing you apart as he wrapped his fist around your hair even harder. The phone that was recording the raw homemade scene was now shoved in your face, his hand on your head forcing you to look at the lens.
You were still so pretty, completely cock drunk off his monstrous ways as you were being his good personal whore. He leaned down, mustache brushing over your ear as he looked at the camera. It was quite a sexy sight to see his wild hair and striking blue iris’s making eye contact with the phone. “Tell them who’s dick your fuckin takin.” He spoke lowly, eyes watching your face through the screen. “Don’t make me repeat myself, I swear you’ll fucking regret it.” He gritted out, toned hips slapping against yours.
You cried out, his hand removing itself from your head to force your chin to look at the camera. You had no choice but to let out a loud whine, screaming the man’s name that you just wanted as yours. “Rafe Cameron! I’m t-takin Rafe Cameron’s dick!” Your voice cracking as you clamped down onto his cock.
As soon as heard that, a smirk came to his face and his nuts tightened. He tilted your chin towards him, sloppily kissing you with his tongue as the camera caught something Rafe never did with anyone. If the kissing wasn’t enough to make people a little shocked, it was that he posted it to his Twitter account, caption reading ‘The only dick that can get her screaming 😱 remember the fucking name bitches.’
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helenanell · 6 months ago
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Contempt of Court || Challengers
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Art Donaldson X Fem!Reader 
CW: 18+ MDNI. Alcoholism / substance abuse. Suicidal ideation. Mentions of car crash/ injury, infidelity (technically - Art is still married to Tashi, but they’re separated) Angst. Smut. A little toxic.
Wordcount: 10.8K
Notes: No use of y/n. Set after the events of the film. Reader is a Tashi stan (There’s too much Tashi Duncan erasure happening and I won’t stand for it.) 
Summary: Still recovering from an injury that put your tennis career on pause, your publicist has landed you a deal to be an ambassador for Nike. What she doesn’t tell you, is that so is Art Donaldson: the player who bad-mouthed you in a live, post match interview two years ago. You only find out once it’s too late. 
 (This story was inspired by the dynamic between Billy and Daisy in Daisy Jones and The Six. But…make it tennis.)
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
For eight agonising weeks, your wrist has been encased in a cast, but now that it’s finally off, you feel far from relieved.
 As the doctor had sawn into the plaster, producing a cloud of white dust like he was breaking into a bone instead of revealing a healed one, you had actually felt panicked. 
After the car crash, you had spiralled into a pit dug with your own self-pity and pain. And once you’d reached the bottom, you’d staved off the encroaching darkness with alcohol and too many painkillers. 
You’d taken drugs before at parties and drunk until you wiped your own memory, the consequence being waking up with your skull practically splitting open from pain. But there was something profoundly different about becoming intoxicated in the hopes of rendering yourself numb:
 You hated yourself whilst you were doing it, and once the harmful buzz wore off, you hated yourself a little bit more. 
You had become fast friends with shame in the past few months. 
You have been desperate to play again, screaming, crying and practically tearing off your own skin with the need to get back to work- to not let yourself fall behind or your ranking suffer. 
But, amongst the amalgamation of negatives there had been a sort of relief, too. Relief, because the choice had been taken away from you. 
The accident hadn't been your fault and nor could you force your bone to heal faster, so for a brief period of time, you had convinced yourself nothing was your fault. For once, you couldn’t be blamed for your own fall from grace. 
But now your bone had healed and if you didn’t give recovery your all, it would be your fault. If there was no triumphant comeback, it would be on you. 
Another thing to fail at. 
Another thing to lose. 
All of which only added to your bafflement over your publicist’s insistence on coming over this morning, in order to discuss ‘a major opportunity’ that wasn’t related to a competition. 
You had originally tried to worm out of it, but your coach had found out and given you the third degree. 
You’re already tired at the thought of it and you don’t even know what it is yet. You don’t want to think about anything but tennis. You don’t have the energy for it. 
In all honesty…you’re hanging on by a thread.
‘Drinking too much’ is a far too casual phrase for how you’ve been living: it has connotations of casualness- a glaring lack of stakes. For you, the stakes are unbelievably high.
You know you can’t afford to become alcohol dependent because even being a functioning alcoholic isn’t an option for you. The only way to function as an athlete—to maintain your career trajectory and the attain the US Open title—is to be at one hundred percent. 
Mixing your painkillers with straight vodka isn’t one hundred percent: it’s a cry for fucking help. Except you can’t let anyone hear the cry, you need to stifle it. 
It’s bad enough that pictures of you being rolled away from your totalled car in a gurney had been plastered over the internet for weeks after the accident. The alcoholic, pill popping tennis pro was a story that would never go away. 
It would morph into an ugly sort of infamy: you’d been in the exclusive club of American sweethearts and heartthrobs who had been hounded so much by the ‘devoted’, that it had driven them to substance abuse to drown out the noise and fortify against the flashing lights. 
So, no one could know. No one.
Which is why, as your publicist pulls into your driveway, you’re rushing to hide a half full bottle of vodka inside a hideously expensive—and also just hideous—vase that had been given to you as an engagement gift.
Two years ago, when your fiancé–and fellow tennis player–had been caught in 4k, kissing a barely legal actress from a HBO teen drama, you’d almost smashed the vase. But, something about destroying a gift from Serena Williams felt like spitting out the ambrosia a god had fed you from their very own hand.
So, while your ring had been thrown into a ravine (best not to dwell on that.) the vase had remained. 
The doorbell rings much sooner than you’re prepared for. Who knew a five-foot-two woman in heels could move so quickly? 
You run over to the door, chewing down on two pieces of gum you’d hastily shoved into your mouth to cover up the scent of alcohol. When you pull it open, you’re met with the stern face of your Publicist, Rebecca. She’s tiny but terrifying, her sharp features framed by a pitch black bob.
Sometimes, it does feel a bit like you’re talking to Edna Mode, but you’d never dare say that.
“Rebecca, hi!” You’re aware the greeting is too happy, and try not to grimace.
When you step back to allow her to enter, Rebecca frowns at you as she passes.
“Why are you fake smiling?” she questions. “Your cast is off, you should be actually happy.”
 You drop the toothy grin, wincing with embarrassment as you follow her into the kitchen.
“I am happy about that, obviously.” You clear your throat, overly aware of how disingenuous you still seem. “What I’m not exactly overjoyed about, is whatever this ‘opportunity’ is.” 
You watch as Rebecca grabs bottle of water from the fridge and then pulls out a stool to sit at the kitchen island. You follow suit, dropping down beside her.
“Well, you should be. I practically had to sell my soul to get them to pick you.”
You level her with an unimpressed look. “Wow, Rebecca, way to raise me up from rock bottom.”
She waves you away. “Oh, please! You hate when I coddle you.”
You huff, dropping your chin into hand and propping your elbow on the counter. “Okay, out with it then. What is it?” 
Rebecca’s cheeks split with a blinding grin. “Nike.” She declares gleefully. 
“Nike.” 
Her smile dampens, disappointed you haven’t burst into happy tears. “Yes, Nike. You know…Just Do It.”
“Yes, I do. I’d just prefer not, you know…do it.”
Your publicist looks just about ready to slap you. “You’re kidding. It’s Nike.”
“Oh, is it? You haven’t mentioned that.”
Rebecca’s frown becomes a scowl and you think about ducking when she angrily snatches up her water bottle. But she doesn’t throw it, just waves it around as she begins to rant at you: 
“Do you know how hard it was to get this?! They wanted Naomi Osaka but I convinced them to go for you instead. And christ knows they were hesitant after the US Open meltdown-”
“We agreed not to refer to it as a meltdown.” You cut in. “My therapist says it has negative connotations that, ‘make me feel a harmful degree of shame.’”
Rebecca scoffs. “You went to one session with that therapist and then fired her because you didn’t like that she drew you a diagram.”
“It was condescending: I’m not five, I don’t need visual aids.”
“Okay, just shut up!” Rebecca barks, smoothing down her still immaculate hair and taking a deep breath. “This isn’t actually up for discussion. You’re doing it.”
“I’m not doing it.”
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( Two Weeks Later… )
‘Just Do It.’ 
It’s the first thing you see when you walk into the Nike office for the photoshoot. 
The poster from a past campaign with Andy Murray has been blown up to ridiculous proportions and framed, hanging in on the first wall that greets anyone who enters.
“If they make mine that big I won’t be able to look at it. I’ll actually vomit. ” 
When Rebecca–who is the epitome of a chatterbox–remains silent, you turn you head to look down at her. She’s already peering up at you, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
Your eyes narrow with suspicion. “What have you done?”
Rebecca lets out a laugh laced with unadulterated fear. “Okay…so, any minute now you’re going to be super fucking pissed at me and you have every right to be, but remember that as you’ve already signed the contract, you don’t have a right to walk out of here.”
You stare her down, knowing it doesn’t take much intimidation for her to crack. 
You don’t end up needing her to blabber, however, because not even five seconds later, the door you’d just come through swings open and a lone figure enters.
 As you turn, you feel your publicist actually take a step away from you.
“Rebecca, I’m going to kill you.” 
You’re not looking at her as you spit out the threat, your eyes are already boring into the man who’s noted your presence and is lingering just beyond the doorway. 
Your history with Art Donaldson is far from extensive. In fact, while the trajectory of your careers have practically run parallel, the two of you have spoken maybe twice. 
But then, almost two years ago, the U.S Open had happened. 
Still dealing with the fall out of your fiance’s cheating scandal, you’d been in potentially the worst mental space of your life. And yet, you had still made it to the final.
 But, during the match…well you’d sort of lost your shit. And then you’d just lost. It had been dramatic and mortifying. 
Then, with the dust not even close to settling, things had gotten even worse. 
Having just clinched the men’s singles trophy for himself, Art Donaldson had sat down for his live post-match interview and one of the first questions he’d been asked, was about your ‘comportment’ during the final. 
You would never forget his answer: 
'Well, obviously it’s a massive disappointment. In so many ways the match between those two women today was legendary. But it always stings when you see someone get in their own way. Anger like that doesn’t belong on the court: it’s infantile and disrespectful to staff and to the fans. It threatens to overshadow what was otherwise a phenomenal game of tennis for both of them.'
When he had then been pressed for his thoughts on what should be done in regards to sanctions, Art had simply said: ‘I think whatever she’s feeling that made her act that way, is probably punishment enough.’
In a few minutes, Art had made you a subject of scorn as well as unwanted sympathy.  He’d made you sound simultaneously contemptible and pitiable. 
He was right, but he hadn’t needed to sound so sanctimonious when he’d said it. And telling the world your own mental anguish was probably torment enough, was just salt in the wound.
In your own defence, you had gone into the final right off the back of the announcement that your ex-fianc��s new girlfriend was pregnant. And the dates had made it blindingly clear, that conception had happened whilst you were still with him.
 You’d never felt so worthless or dehumanised. And then, after you’d practically killed yourself playing the match of your life, only to lose, Art fucking Donaldson had felt the need to call out your behaviour. 
‘Anger like that doesn’t belong on the court.’ 
Anger ‘like that’ wasn’t something you’d brought to the competition in your overhead luggage, it was a parasite that had been poisoning your blood.
You’d thought that sort of self-cannibalising rage was in your past, bust as Art starts walking over to you, it rears its ugly head once more.
And he has the gall to smile at you. It’s an amicable, almost anticipatory smile. 
You barely even register when Rebecca ducks away, muttering something about finding the photographer. 
Art calls out your name as he stops before you, the corners of his eyes creasing as his smile intensifies. “It’s good to see you.”
“The feeling is not mutual.” You intone harshly.
Art’s smile doesn’t drop, it just becomes tighter, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “Ah- so you are still upset about what I said at the Open.” 
You glare at him, forcing yourself to stop gritting your teeth lest they shatter. “What could possibly make you think that I wouldn't be?”
Art laughs softly, running a hand through his short blonde hair. “Well, because your coach and your publicist both assured me that you weren’t.”
Those fucking traitors. 
It looks like you’ll be going into tomorrow with only your nutritionist and your physio left on your team.
“They lied.” You reply sharply. 
Art tilts his head, his gaze becoming brazen in the way it assesses your face. “Clearly.”
“Well, obviously this isn’t happening.” You gesture between the two of you. “I’m not doing a photoshoot, let alone an entire campaign, with you.”
“I don’t see why it can’t go ahead.” Art declares casually, his lips tugging upward as he observes your indignation. 
You take a step back, not trusting yourself not to lunge for him.
“Well, it’s a good thing I have little regard for your opinion then, isn’t it?”
Art's brows draw together, some irritation beginning to pollute his easy going demeanour. “You do care.”
“Excuse me?”
“You do care about my opinion, because f you didn’t, you wouldn’t still be this pissed over something I said years ago. 
“Pissed?” You almost choke on the word. “You made me sound pathetic. Weak. You insulted my entire career!”
“I seem to recall saying that your match was ‘legendary.’ Phenomenal, is another word I used.”
If there wasn’t so much anger writhing in your gut, you might have rubbed it in his face that for something he’s outwardly dismissing, he seems to remember what he said about you very well.
You step up to him, closing the distance in two strides.
“‘Whatever she’s feeling that made her act that way, is probably punishment enough.’ You said that about me in front of peers and fans in a live interview that was watched by thousands!”
“You’re telling me you don’t think you were out of line?” Art challenges, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning in. 
You know he’s not wrong: it hadn’t been your finest hour. In fact, the morning after, with your behaviour laid bare in the cold light and already being picked over by commentators and tabloids, you had been able to acknowledge it may very well have been one of the worst hours you would ever have. 
But you’d rather die than acknowledge that to Art.
“Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you!” You hit back disparagingly.
Art’s fingers dig into his arms. “What does that mean?”
“It means you’re a hypocrite, Art. I watched your match against Patrick Zweig at the…what was it- Phil’s Tire Town Challenger? Someone recorded it from the stands. Tell me, what emotion were you bringing to the court when you yelled ‘fuck you’ at him across the net?” 
“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” 
“I’m not proposing a thesis, Art. This isn’t up for debate. I’m just telling you what I saw. And it seems to me, that you have some fucking anger issues of your own, so quit chewing me out over mine.”
“Chewing you out–” He splutters, his cheeks flushing with outrage. “Wow, you really do have a victim complex, huh?” 
“Fuck you!” You seethe.
Your exclamation doesn’t dissuade Art, instead he gathers momentum: 
“You’re acting like I should fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness over an entirely reasonable answer I gave to a question about your piss-poor behaviour. But I didn’t make you launch your racket across the court or cuss out the line judge. You’re not a tragic woman, or some wronged heroine, you’re a grown woman throwing a tantrum because I wasn’t very nice about her in an interview, two goddamn years ago!” 
“Well, I’m a bitch and you’re a hypocrite, looks like neither of us should be tennis’ poster child.” You snap, pushing past him and heading for the door. 
There was absolutely no chance you were doing this photoshoot. Nike could give Naomi Osaka another call. 
Just as you’ve got past him, Art is following you, snagging your wrist with his hand. “Hey! I didn’t call you a bitch.” 
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to tell anyone. Badmouthing people in public forums is your move.” 
You yank yourself out of his hold and with his eyes burning into the back of your head, you leave Art Donaldson alone in the lobby. 
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Three Weeks Later… )
In the intervening weeks since your confrontation with Art, you have discovered just how airtight employment contracts can be. 
Nike should really give their lawyers a raise, because you have been assured that there is more chance of you sprouting wings, than being able to get out of the ad campaign. 
You’d been forced back to the studio a week later with your tail between your legs, but while you’d felt genuinely apologetic over the inconvenience caused to Nike’s team, your fury at Art had only compounded. 
Thankfully, the feeling had been mutual and the two of you had passed the entire shoot in utter silence. Neither of you had offered up so much as a hello or goodbye to the other, and while it had clearly been painfully awkward for everyone around you, it had worked out quite well. 
Unfortunately, you and Art had been called back for a day of what they were calling ‘action shots.’
Which is why you’re currently at a country club, dressed in all of Nike’s new gear, being forced to actually play tennis against Art. 
If it was anyone else, you would already have drawn attention to the fact that your wrist is in excruciating pain, but you refuse to falter in front of him. 
Besides, as much as you’re loathe to admit it, playing against Art is exhilarating. 
The team have just called for a break and somehow, despite the innumerable people that have been buzzing around you for the entire day, you and Art suddenly find yourselves alone at the side of the court. 
You’ve done well at remaining civil with each other, but that’s only because you only said ‘hello’ and ‘ready’ before you’d started playing.
Unfortunately for you, Art seems to be in the mood to antagonise.
“I don’t get why this is making you so miserable.” Art says, dropping down onto the bench beside you with a shit-eating grin on his face. 
You hold up the can in your hand, fingers biting into the condensation slick metal. 
“I specifically asked for Tangerine La Croix and they’ve given me Pure.” You mock. You couldn't care less about what you’re drinking.
“Funny.” Art deadpans. 
“And here was me thinking you’d jump at the chance to call me a diva.” You answer, donning a smirk of your own.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Some genuine anger colours Art’s tone and it only feeds the fires of your own.
“What?” 
Art grabs the can from your hand and maintains eye contact as he steals as a sip.
“You refuse to let go of a few critical, but very valid sentences I said about you in that interview and you’ve used them to construct a narrative about my dislike for you. I don’t dislike you.”
“Oh, you don’t? That’s good, because this amicable exchange is really making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” 
Art groans, slumping back on the bench. He manspreads so wide that his knee knocks into yours. 
“Can you not just enjoy yourself? It’s a beautiful day and we’re being paid to do what we’re great at.”
You wrinkle your nose and try to snatch back the can, but Art tightens his grip and the metal crumples as you both tighten your hold. 
“Yeah, well, not everyone gets off on having their face on a billboard.” You sneer, almost falling back when Art suddenly lets go of the can.
It’s practically empty and completely deformed, so you slam it down onto the empty space beside you.
“How do you know that I do?”
“What?”
“How do you know that I get off on it?” He repeats glibly.
“Because, you’ve clearly wanted to retire for years and now that you have, you can monopolise on the popularity that your wife built up for you and live off clothing lines and ads for the rest of your life.”
“Being great at tennis built up my popularity.”
“Oh, don’t tell me you actually believe that, Art? So many phenomenal players go widely unknown for their entire careers. You are only The Art Donaldson instead of just plain old Art, because Tashi Duncan made you a brand. She’s responsible for your legacy.”
“She didn’t make me.”
“Maybe not, but she did mould you into what you are. You would have been just another generic Stanford whiteboy if she hadn’t decided to give you fucking form.”
“You talk about her like she’s God.” 
“Are you telling me that’s not what it feels like when her attention is solely on you?” You challenge, but you don’t wait for an answer. “You know, I actually played her quite a lot when we were teenagers– we always ended up being us against each other in finals– and even then…it was like trying to play against an elemental force. Every time, without fail, there was a tiny part of me that just wanted to fall to my fucking knees in front of her. But I never did, instead it made my game better. She made my game better. Tashi put all she had into you after her injury, the least you could do is acknowledge what she’s done for you.
“You don’t have to tell me what I owe my wife.”
You scoff, rising to your feet. “I’m telling you what you owe your coach.” 
You don’t actually know where you’re going as you walk away, only that you need it to be far from him.
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Two Months Later… )
At the launch event for Nike’s new line, you’re standing in front of the massive poster that’s at the forefront of the campaign and swallowing down bile. 
It’s a great picture, you’ll give them that: Your feet are practically lifting off the ground as you throw up the ball for a serve, your expression is contorted with a ruinous passion that portends some sort of violence. And across the net, there’s Art: he’s dropped into a crouch, ready to pounce once you send the ball his way. In the face of your fury, his anticipation comes fitted out with his signature smirk. 
It’s not just a great photo, it’s phenomenal.
 You want to tear it off the wall. 
You’re on the verge of asking anyone if they have a pen so you can scribble over Art’s face, when the man himself appears beside you. In your peripheral vision you catch a glimpse of his sleek, all black suit, but you don’t turn to look at him. 
“I’m not sure you’d get away with defacing it in front of so many people.” 
Trying to suppress your eye roll would be a fruitless endeavour, so you turn to face Art, forcing him to bear witness to your indignation. 
“You should know by now that I have little regard for decorum. You certainly like commenting on my lack of it.”
“I thought you’d still be hung up on that.” 
“Yeah, well, some of us have follow through.” You give him a venomous smile. “How is retirement treating you?”
“Ah, I should have known.”
“Known what?”
“You see retirement is quitting. So, you’ll force yourself to continue well past the point you should, your game will get shittier and shittier, so by the time you’re forced to quit, people will be pitying you instead of remembering how phenomenal you were.”
There’s a compliment in there, but you’re not feeling generous of spirit enough to pluck it out of the insult. 
“I know when to stop, Art. It’s just not now.” You answer coldly.
“Okay, when? Like- give me your timeline. You must have thought about it.”
“Not yet.”
This answer seems to really frustrate him and he just stares at you, a muscle in his jaw feathering as he grips his champagne flute. 
“Do you think I didn’t notice how much your wrist was killing you when we played each other? Are you really going to wreck your body out of stubbornness?”
“You know, Art, what you did wasn’t bowing out at the perfect time, it was cowardice. You skipped right to the curtain call when you still had a last act left to perform. You never got that US Open trophy, did you?” 
Art sighs, his gaze moving back to the photo of the two of you. "Yeah well, something tells me you won't either. Have a good night."
Then he's backing away, his stare lingering on you even as he lets the crowd reabsorb him. 
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( One Month Later… )
Had Tashi Duncan not been one of the people in your life that you most respected and admired, you wouldn’t even have considered attending the fundraising gala for her and Art’s foundation.  
But you were, quite frankly, obsessed with her, so of course you had come.
 Sitting in an uncomfortably tight dress at a table of people you don’t know and with a fair amount of alcohol circulating through your system, is quite possibly the most painstaking thing you’ve ever gone through.
Apart from the car crash. That had been pretty bad. 
But you’re adamant you won’t think about the car crash tonight, or the fact that, somehow, your wrist seems to be getting worse; devolving to a state more dire than when the cast had first come off. 
The meal—which you hadn’t been able to stomach—had come and gone and now the auction is beginning. Tashi is up on the stage, dazzling in the way that only she can and Art is standing at the bottom of the set of stairs that lead up to the platform.
Unfortunately, your table is very close to the front and you’re positioned right in his eyeline. 
Art keeps stealing glances at you with an emotion you can’t place. You had tried to switch seats with the man across from you, but the asshole turned out to be a real stickler for assigned seating. 
If only to distract yourself, you whip out your phone, resting it in your lap beneath the table.
The moment you open up Instagram, your heart drops into your stomach. 
You thought you had expunged any remnants of your ex from your life, but it seems you’ve missed a mutual friend on Instagram, one who has just reposted his engagement announcement with his girlfriend and mother of his now one year old daughter. 
That bastard has broken your heart and wrecked your head, but while your life just keeps getting worse, the universe has seen fit to bless him with everything he’s ever wanted. 
The auction is already in full swing when you rise clumsily from your seat and weave through the tables, heading for the closest exit. 
It’s only as you push open the door and begin to sway, that you realise you’re actually quite tipsy. You might have drunk a little too much before you’d left the house. 
It’s freezing outside, but you can’t face going back for your coat, so, unsteady on your feet, you flee into the extensive gardens that surround the estate that’s acting as the gala’s venue. 
You walk well past the point where the lawn lighting disappears and clamber over a fence that has ‘restricted area’ prominently posted in front of it.
You don’t know where you’re going, but as you stagger down the hill, your sadness is alleviated very slightly by the sight of a massive pond that you’re sure is beckoning to you. 
You kick off your heels and drop down onto the bank, quick to put your feet into the water. Once you’re settled, you retrieve your hip flask from your clutch and begin to guzzle vodka in earnest.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
You turn and you find an incensed Art striding towards you. You’re more than a little delighted by the sight of mud splattered over the polished surface of his shoes. 
“I was having some time to myself.”
“You needed to walk all the way down here to get it?”
You laugh caustically, gesturing at him. “Well…no. Obviously I should have walked even further away.”
Art huffs, entirely unimpressed. He takes a few steps further down the bank and holds out a hand beckoning you over.
“Come on, you need to come back inside.”
“Why is that?”
“Because, you offered tennis lessons with yourself as an auction item and you’re up soon. You need to be on stage.”
Ah. You’d forgotten about that. 
“Why do I need to be seen? It’s not like they’re buying me.”
“You still can’t stay in there. Get out.”
“I’m not in it, Art. I’m just dangling my feet in the water.”
“Well, you can’t ‘dangle’ your feet in there, it’s a pond not a swimming pool.” 
“I can’t?” You feign a bafflement as you look at your feet, submerged in the murky water. “I sort of already am?”
Art moves even closer but falters, his bright eyes becoming an invading force: his gaze takes hold of your edges and peels them back.
He can see inside.
“What’s wrong?” He probes, the harsher edges of his previous words now nowhere to be found.
“At the moment, it’s you.” 
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m not actually, but I’m getting there.” 
Art’s eyes flick to the metal object glinting in your hand. “Is that a hip flask?” 
“What a keen eye you have.” You mutter sardonically.
“Okay, I'm serious now, get out.”
“Oh, he’s being serious!” You mock, rising to your feet.
 But you don’t move away from the pond. Instead, you turn and start walking backwards into the water you wobble when your bare feet sink into the mud, icy liquid seeping into the thin fabric of your silk dress.
Art lunges forward, closing the distance until he’s standing at the edge of the water. His hand darts out and he grabs your forearm. 
“You’re too close to drunk to be near a body of water, let alone in one. You’ll drown yourself.” 
Art plucks the hip flask from your fingers with his free hand and tosses it into the grass behind him, all without taking his eyes off you. 
Then he seems to actually register where his hand is. He’s still gazing into your eyes as his thumb brushes over the scar above your wrist. 
“Compound fracture.” You say on a bitter breath. “The bone went right through. Fucking drunk driver. Funny that, isn’t it? He crashed into me, fucked my career probably permanently and then I became a drunk to cope.”
Some of the hardness in Art’s expression melts away, but it pools into the bags beneath his eyes and the shadows beneath his cheekbones, making him look almost distraught. Once you realise it’s sadness--no, pity--for you, you wrench your wrist out of his grasp and wade further back into the pond. 
You gasp, shocked as the frigid water wraps around your legs in an eager embrace. It’s like it’s clinging on, wanting to keep you forever. 
You find the thought of it quite peaceful.
You think on Art’s words from months ago: he’s right, about you being too stubborn to know when to stop. You won’t retire until you’re physically falling apart.
 But what if you just sink down into the water right now? You’d disappear and the memories would be of a great player gone too soon.
God, you didn’t realise you had such a large ego that you’d consider letting yourself drown just to save face.
Art is beyond unimpressed now. He’s furious. 
“Get out.” You just smile at him, stepping further back. The water reaches your navel and you let your fingertips skim over the water. “I’m not kidding, get the fuck out. Now.”
“Will you just back off!” You erupt. “We’ve done the campaign, we’re not friends, there’s no reason for us to be involved.” 
“None of that gives me a reason to leave you alone out here.”
“Why not?!” You protest desperately. “It’s not the ocean, I can’t be swept out to sea!”
“Get out of the water.”
“No.” 
“Get out.” 
“Get fucked.” You hit back, letting yourself sink back into the water. 
As you move to float on your back, another frantic laugh bubbles up as you're enveloped by its icy grip. Your dress becomes heavier, a five thousand dollar weight around your body, urging you to sink lower.
You turn your head to the side so that you can see the surface of the water:
This far out of the city, the stars are no longer choked by smog and so are able to tear through the darkness. The water perfectly mirrors the sky, so much so that it’s like you’re swimming in the cosmos. If you open your mouth, you could take some of it into yourself. 
You had struggled to get out of bed this morning, but now, in the quiet night, you have the chance to swallow a thousand stars–
Impudent splashing disrupts your peace. 
Your head shoots up, water running in eager rivulets off your hair as you watch wide eyed, as Art drops into the water. His jacket and shoes have been discarded on the edge of the bank. 
“What are you doing?”  
Art doesn’t answer, instead he drives through the water towards you, his strides producing ripples that disturb the reflected constellations. Shooting stars. 
You’re not very far out, so just as Art closes in on you, you plant your feet on the muddy bottom of the pond and stand up.
The fabric of your dress is dark and slick against your body like an oil spill. The breeze blows a tentative breath against you, causing your skin to pebble and your nipples to harden.
Art reaches for you but your hand flies out and you swat him away.
You push yourself further out, giggling at his expression as the water comes up to your chin. 
Then Art’s diving after you, the white material of his shirt submerged in the water. 
“Art, this is a pond, not a swimming pool.” You tease, amusement blooming.
In fact, you’re relishing the sight of his arms pushing through the water so much, that you forget to make another escape attempt. 
Before you know it, Art is right up in front of you, his breath coasting over your face as he wraps an arm around your middle beneath the water. 
You drive your feet into the mud, your smile growing as he looks exasperatedly up at sky. His fingers press into your side.
“This is so beyond funny.” He grouses, trying and failing to tug you closer.
Seeing as you’re not actually drunk, you’re not sure what comes over you, but you’re seized by a giddy, childlike urge. 
You decide to give into it.
Art’s eyes widen slightly as you rush forward, pressing your chest right up against his. Then, you place one hand on each of his shoulders and push.
There’s a brief moment, where your face rises above Art and he gazes up at you, droplets of water rolling off your face and onto him. He’s looking at you in the same way you had been gazing up at the stars. Perhaps you’ve become one of them. Wouldn’t that be something?
Art realises too late what you’re going to do. 
“Don’t you dare–”
You push all of your weight onto his shoulders and dunk him into the pond. His head goes under, short blonde locks floating up in the water.
You immediately let him go and when he comes up, spluttering for air, the hand not on your waist winds around the back of your neck, threading into the hair at the nape of your neck. He pulls you flush against him again.
When he speaks, it is a whisper you feel against your cheek. “You’re such an asshole.” 
Your hands fall onto his waist beneath the water. “I know.” 
You shriek as Art tips you back, his hand still cradling the back of your neck as he dunks your head into the water in retaliation. It feels like a baptism. 
When you come back up, he's chuckling as you gasp for air. 
“I had to do that.” Art defends.
 He notices you scrambling to push soaked strands of hair out of your eyes and proceeds to help you, his hand brushing over your cheeks and forehead before returning your sight to you. 
“I feel like you didn’t have to.” You splutter, fighting back a laugh of your own. 
You’re suddenly glad for his grip on you- you’re far too flustered to stand firmly on your own two feet. 
Art’s cheek’s dimple as he smiles, shaking his head at you. Your breath hitches. 
When he’s unencumbered by negative emotion…Art shines. 
He leans in again, his lips grazing the shell of your ear: 
“Don’t start something you’re not prepared to finish, sweetheart.” Your breathing becomes even more laboured as he draws away, his nose briefly dragging against your cheek. “Now…get out of the goddamn pond.” 
And then he’s pulling away, leaving you gaping after him as he moves back towards the bank.
 His touch is an absence you really wish didn’t feel so profound 
“Spoilsport.” You grumble. But you’re already moving after him. 
The alcohol you did have in you has disappeared; shocked out of your system by the frigid water and the feel of Art’s hands.
 You wade back towards the bank, your hip flask is nestled in the grass and glinting seductively in the moonlight. 
With Art’s back to you, you let yourself stare as he drags himself out of the water. His shirt is stuck to his body and entirely see through, settling into the ridges of his muscled chest. The moon’s light shines through the fabric hanging from his sleeves, making it look like the membrane of wings.
As Art kneels on the grass, you blink rapidly as if he’s a vision you can dispel from your sight. 
You can acknowledge he’s attractive- you’re not blind– but you can’t abide the yearning arising within you. You don’t have room for that in your life, for anyone, but especially not for him. 
You finally reach the edge of the bank and then Art is kneeling at the edge, holding a hand out for you to take.
You consider him for a moment and process the newfound ease on his face. He seems almost serene. 
You fight off a shiver that you blame on the cold and ignore his outstretched hand, pulling yourself out of the water unaided. 
“Really?” Art bites out irritatedly, watching as you wander over to your hip flask and sit down right beside it. You take it into your hand and unscrew the cap. 
When you bring it to your lips you look right into his eyes. “Really.” 
You throw your head back, the path the vodka burns down your throat is a welcome discomfort. You had felt far too peace just now, floating in a sea of stars with Art. 
But those weren’t stars, just a reflection of them. It was a trick. Nothing that could ever be real. 
When you drop the now empty flask into your lap, there are tears in your eyes. 
When was the last time you’d felt even close to the happiness you’d found in that water? 
It wasn’t real.
A traitorous tear is already rolling down your cheek as you drop your eyes to your hands. 
“Hey.” Art says softly. He kneels down beside you, one hand on your soaked back as the other plucks the flask out your lap. “What’s wrong?”
You make a noise that’s half sob, half laugh. “I already answered that question.” 
“Yeah, except I know you’re full of shit.” When you look up at him, Art’s frown becomes something gentler. “I know I’m not your problem.” 
You scoff, shoving his chest. He sways backwards, but drops down onto his knees, planting himself on the ground beside you. His hand is still on your back.
“Yes, you are actually.” You answer nastily. “You really are.”
“Just tell me.” Art whispers, ducking his head into your field of vision so you’re forced to look at him. His free hand settles on your cheek. “Tell me what’s wrong because this…is sort of scary.”
You lift your hands and clasp his cheeks, digging your fingers in. You’re overcome by a violent impulse to tear into his skin. 
It would be far easier to draw blood than confront how you’re beginning to feel about him. 
“Aww.” You croon. “Did I scare the poor little baby?” 
“Stop it.” He scolds. His hands move to grasp your wrists but he doesn't pull you away, not even as you press your nails further in.
But you won’t stop- can’t stop. Your feelings have become spiteful and unruly, running away from you at a pace which you can’t hope to match.
You can’t take the strain. And because Art is the contributor to that is closest to you, it’s him you’re going to lash out at.
“No, really, I didn’t think you’d be such a pussy.” You forge on, spewing venom. “I scared you by getting in a pond? Grow the fuck up, Art.”
But Art doesn’t rise to it. His jaw doesn’t clench and his grip on you doesn’t tighten. 
“This isn’t okay.” He says, tentative but assured. “You’re not okay.” 
“No, I'm not!” You snap wrenching your wrists free. “But it’s got absolutely nothing to do with you.”
You try to rise to your feet, but Art doesn’t let you. He moves so he’s kneeling either side of you, his legs pressing into your thighs as his hands fall onto your shoulders. You can feel in the way his fingers press into you that he’s fighting the urge to shake sense into you. 
You look up at him, slightly startled by his forcefulness. His back is facing the moon now and his drenched body is limned in silver. 
Before you can berate yourself for even thinking about it, you’re winding your hand around his tie and dragging him down, smashing your lips against his. 
You shouldn't be doing this, a large part of you doesn’t want to, but it feels like the only way to purge yourself of him. And what kills a bacteria faster than blazing heat?
Art lets out a warning groan, but your teeth nipping his bottom lip is all it takes to have him leaning in. Even your kiss feels like a fight, battling each other for control, pressing with bruising force.
Art crowds over you, guiding your back against the grass.
You let yourself fall. 
As your back presses into the earth, one of his hands settles on the side of your neck as he drags the other up your leg. When he peels up the sodden material of your dress, his hand exploring your thigh, the cold air bites tauntingly against your rapidly heating skin. 
Your hard nipples brush against his soaked t-shirt and the feeling is so tantalising, that you find your back arching, pressing yourself into him and chasing the sensation.
When you let out a moan into his mouth, Art draws back as if some unseen hand has pulled on him.
He’s still agonisingly close, his lips a hair's breadth away as he gazes down at you through heavy eyelids, water droplets running down his face from his hair. His breathing is ragged.
 Art’s eyes close and with his sight lost to him, his lips drift closer to you again and his teeth nip at your chin. After placing a ghost of kiss over where he’s bitten, he takes a deep breath.
Then his eyes open, and his expression is blank. It makes you feel sick.
You’re burning up with want, but you can already see the realisation of your transgression settling into the very bones of Art. He’s about to spurn you, disdain no doubt working its way to the surface. So you have to get there first. 
“Poor, sensitive Art, scared by a kiss.” You goad. The words are forced out and they feel malformed on your tongue. “Don’t worry your little head over it, it doesn’t mean anything.” 
Art drops his eyes from you, shaking his hand as he pushes himself off up. 
“Nice try, but I know what you’re doing.”  
He mumbles it and doesn't give you a chance to acknowledge it befores he’s on his feet and walking away. 
Tears prick insistently at the back of your eyes but you force them back, pressing the heels of your thumbs into them until it hurts. 
You sit up, feeling leaves and blades of grass sticking to your exposed skin.
You feel the air shift behind you, and are startled when you peer over your shoulder and find Art standing at your back. He has his shoes back on and is gripping his dry jacket far too tightly. 
You find your voice, but it’s weak: “What am I doing Art?” 
He doesn’t meet your eye, instead he opens up the jacket in his hands and settles it over your shoulders. You sit there, stunned as he tugs it around your body. Then he leans down and over your shoulders, his breath on the side of your face as he deftly buttons the jacket up. 
Art encloses you in the dry garment that carries the scent of him. 
“You’re doing the same thing as me.” He says quietly. It sounds almost painful for him to talk. “Running away. I guess we’re both cowards.”
And then he’s gone, marching back up the bank without another word.
You’re left sitting there, wrapped in his jacket and staring out at the pond. 
Not the night sky. 
Just a pond. 
  ━━━━∙⋆⋅⋆∙━━━━
( Three Months Later… )
After your cast had first come off, Wimbledon had felt like an intimidating but still far off thing; a dark shape on the horizon, but one you had to squint to see. But then it moved closer, barreling towards you like a bat out of hell. 
You’ve made great progress in your recovery, you really have…but all your extensive physiotherapy hasn’t been able to heal the nerve-damage you’d turned out to have- at least not in a timespan that’s workable for a professional athlete. 
You’re done. Tennis career over.
And your worst fear has come true: it hadn’t been your choice. Injury has forced you out and the public discourse is rife with commiseration and useless, positive platitudes. 
Art has been proved right. Everything would be so much better had you known when to quit. You had preferred ridicule to this. 
But until you’d come to Wimbledon, it hadn’t really sunk in yet: you hadn’t had the moment of finality. 
What closure has ended up feeling like, is the final nail in your coffin.
As you had watched the first matches of Wimbledon from the stands, Rebecca glancing at you constantly–presumably to check you weren’t about to burst into tears–you had felt as though you were being buried: each serve and volley another hand tossing dirt on top of the coffin, sealing you beneath the ground for good. 
At least one part of your day has been successful. You have completed the challenge you’d set for yourself that morning, which was to not drink any alcohol until the evening.
 It has been excruciating.
Evidence of your victory lays in your trembling hands as you fit your keycard into the door of your hotel room. You’re desperate for what you know sits waiting for you on the other side. 
But then, just as the lock mechanism chirps to let you know you’ve been granted entry, someone calls your name.
Your keycard is left in the door as your fingers fall away from the handle and you turn to face Art. He’s stopped himself a safe distance from you and is gazing at you with what looks like…relief? 
Of course you knew he was at Wimbledon–you’d narrowly avoided crossing paths with him a number of times already today–but to hear his voice and having his probing stare directed solely on you, is as debilitating as you remember. 
You haven’t seen each other, or even spoken, since the night by–or rather in–the pond. 
The only place the two of you are still together in any capacity, is on the Nike billboards that are still occupying space throughout the world.
And as if Art’s thoughts align with your own, he says: 
“You pull an impressive disappearing act.” He steps closer.
“That suggests you went looking for me.” You counter, pleased with how detached you sound. “We both know you didn’t.” 
“No. I didn’t.” Art replies frankly. 
“So I didn’t disappear, did I? You just couldn’t see me.”
Art moves towards you some more, stopping an arms length away. 
“It felt the same.” He utters lowly. “You were gone.”
You shrug halfheartedly. “So were you.” 
Then you press your back into the door, fingers seeking out the handle, shaking now for a reason other than alcohol withdrawal. 
You really don’t know if you’re running away or urging him on, but when you push open the door and duck inside, you do know that you’re not angry when he follows. 
You put your back to the hallway door, expecting Art to move past you and head into the suite, but he doesn’t. At least not right away. Instead, he stops right in front of you, looking down at you as the door swings shut. 
You would barely have to lift your hand and you’d be touching him.
You hate that he looks so good. He’s in simple navy dress pants, a white shirt sitting snugly on his chest, the top few buttons undone. 
The two of you stand like that for a minute or so, and just as you realise that your breaths have practically synchronised, Art is moving away from you and wandering inside. 
It’s only then, as he ventures deeper, that you remember what you’ve been so eager to get back into the room for. You curse yourself, letting your head fall back against the wall behind you.
Even if he hadn’t already seen them, it would be too late for you to hide the line of alcohol minis that you’d gathered from the bar cart. 
You’d set them out earlier, the process almost meditative. It had been a promise to yourself: get through the day without drinking and you can have all of these once you’re alone.
But now they’re standing out in the open, displayed on the nearby desk like pieces knocked off a board in a game that you’ve been playing against yourself. 
You watch helplessly as Art walks right over to them, his hands in his pockets. Your face flushes with shame.
Art cranes his neck back to look at you. You’re still pressed against the wall, afraid that if you take one step closer, you won’t be able to stop yourself from taking ten more. And you don’t want to be close to him when his face shifts into pity or revilement. 
“You planning on drinking all of these?” Art asks, turning back to the bottles as if he knows his gaze is steadily undoing you and wants to grant a reprieve.
Eased slightly by the remarkable placidity of his tone, you’re able to answer calmly. But you still don’t move. 
“That was the plan.” 
Art lets out a non-committal hum. “Why?” 
You laugh awkwardly, wringing your hands together. “I don’t know, why does anyone drink?” 
“I don’t care about anyone, I'm asking about you.” His voice is firm, but the foundation of it is something less solid. His words shake on the way out. 
You’re overcome with the urge to be honest. It’s actually a lot easier when he’s not looking at you. 
“I drink because at some point in my life, every tiny thing became really difficult- like, embarrassingly difficult, to the point where I feel like a child again. And it turns out that ineptitude is easier to bear when you feel like you’ve imposed it on yourself. I drink because it makes me feel helpless…but, helpless by choice.”
The confession hangs suspended in the air, a horrifying, complicated marvel- like a beautiful butterfly now dead and pinned by its wings to a board. 
Art speaks into the silence, his back still turned to you. “Do you want to forget? Is that part of it?” 
“Forget what?” You’re struggling for breath now, his presence drawing all of the oxygen from the room.
He half-turns his head, blue eyes settling over you once more. “All of it.”
“There’s not enough alcohol in the world for that.” You say morosely.
You have learnt that getting drunk doesn’t rid you of all the thoughts that torment you in sobriety, it just pushes them further to the back. Even if you drink so much you can barely walk, the thoughts remain, banging on the barrier and demanding to be let back in. 
Art doesn’t respond to that. He turns back to the little bottles and you watch as he reaches out a hand and knocks over the one closest to him. He pushes it forward, sending them all toppling one after the other like dominos. His eyes are set on them as they roll around on the table, a couple falling onto the plush carpet. And your eyes are set on him. 
Then, he finally turns to properly face you, knocking the fallen bottles with his feet as he leans back against the table and crosses his arms against his chest. 
He’s waiting, you realise. Waiting for you to speak. Waiting for you to make the first move. Wanting you to come to him. 
You push off the wall and start walking towards him. “Why did you follow me in here, Art?”
He sighs, the corner of his lip pulling up with a melancholy smile. “Because you make me feel helpless.” 
That almost stops you in your tracks, but you recover quickly, barely a footstep faltering as you advance on him. Your heartbeat is a warning drum in your ears.
Once you reach him, Art widens his legs, allowing you to step between them.
As you settle your hands on his thighs, his duck beneath your dress and come to rest on the bare flesh of the back of your legs. He draws you closer, making you fingers dig into his trousers to steady yourself. 
You sigh, your eyes fluttering shut as he leans forward, brushing his lips against your exposed sternum. 
You’re still flushed and sweating from the uncharacteristically blazing English sun and you shudder as Art’s tongue darts out lapping at the moisture there. 
You rock forward, placing your chin on the top of his head, inadvertently pressing his mouth further into your skin. His lapping tongue turns into kisses, kisses that travel down onto the swell of your breasts and into the valley between them.
Even when he reaches the fabric of your dress, he doesnt let it stop him: Art’s lips close around your clothed nipple, wetting the thin fabric with his saliva. You let out a breathy moan into his hair as he moves onto the next one. 
As Art works his mouth against you, you push your hands higher, letting your fingers brush the bulge in his pants before they’re settling on his belt buckle. 
He says your name, each movement of his lips searing into your flesh. 
“Do I make you feel helpless?” He asks, his hands moving up to curl in the sides of your underwear. 
“No, Art. You don’t.”
As you undo his fly, he begins to pull your underwear down.
“Why?” He closes his mouth around your breast and bites down just enough to make your breath catch in your throat. 
You remove one of your hands from his crotch and use it to grab the back of his neck, you pull him away from your chest, forcing him to look up at you as your other hand disappears into his trousers, palming his hardness.
Even as you step out of your underwear and kick it away, you’re starting to stroke him. His mouth falls open, sucking in a breath as gazes up at you as if you hung the moon.
“How could I feel helpless?” You goad, leaning in and resting your mouth beside his ear to whisper. “When I have so much power over you?” 
Art’s initial answer is to buck up into your hand, chasing the friction you’re moving too slowly to give him, but when you laugh at his desperation, he’s surging up, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you.
In a flash, you’ve taken up his position: ass resting on the edge of the desk. 
Before you can catch your breath, Art has his hands on your knees and is spreading your legs, exposing your bareness to him.
But apparently he still hasn’t got you where he wants, because his fingers then wrap around the back of your legs and he lifts you, placing you further back onto the wooden surface. More bottles roll off the edge and drop into the carpet. 
Then, finally, Art’s eyes meet yours. His smirk makes a return. 
“So…” He begins, his hands gathering up your dress and leaving it to bunch up at your waist. “I have absolutely no effect on you? None at all?”
“No-” You can’t even finish your thought let alone the word before his fingers are running through the wetness between your legs. Your instinct is to shut them, but his hips are in the way, so you only succeed in holding him firmly in place. 
You are left to stare as he lifts his hand up, evidence of your arousal glistening on his fingers. Then, slowly enough that he can watch the realisation of what he’s doing dawn on your face, Art takes his fingers into his own mouth.
His eyes meet yours and do not shift away for even a second as he licks your wetness from his skin. 
The tightness in your belly becomes almost too extreme to bear, and a throbbing begins between your legs. 
“I want you to ask.” Art says, his fingers–now wet with his own saliva–drawing circles on your inner thigh. “I want you to ask me to fuck you.” 
“I thought you were here because I make you feel helpless?” You try to sound taunting, but your voice is ragged with want. “Now you want to be in control?”
Art leans down and you expect an abrupt, bruising joining of your lips, but instead he kisses you slowly, tenderness in every gentle movement. His mouth is is still aligned with yours as he answers: 
“It’s not about control, sweetheart. I just want to hear that you want me as much as I want you.” 
You begin to kiss along his jaw, your sentence formed with words cushioned between the press of your lips:
“I want you to fuck me, Art.” 
Art's fingers curl around your jaw, bringing your lips back to his as he frees himself from his pants with his other hand. Your kiss is languid but rapidly growing with force, passion driving pleasure ever closer to point of pain.
“Condom?” Art questions into your open mouth. 
With his fingers digging into your chin, you can't shake your head so you’re forced to gather enough of your wits to speak again:
“Birth control.” 
“Okay.” Art pecks your lips before lifting a hand and spitting onto it. Then he’s fisting himself in his hand and pressing inside of you. 
Your legs immediately wrap around his waist, hooking together to pull him in even further. 
Art lets out a shuddered breath, his head dropping to your shoulder as he settles himself inside of you.
He kisses and licks across your collarbone, only stopping when he comes across the thin strap of your dress. With a little growl, he takes it between his teeth, tugging it back and then letting it ping back into your skin. 
You laugh, still adjusting to the feel of him inside of you as you move to pull down the top of your dress. But Art has other ideas. He stops you with a slow thrust, rolling his hips just enough to have your hands wrapping around his neck instead. 
“Let me do it.” He’s giving a command and yet it sounds like a grovel. 
Then, in unison, his fingers find the straps of your dress and he’s pulling them away, tugging the bodice down and exposing your breasts to him completely. His hands fall onto them immediately, palming the supple flesh and lifting them up higher so that he can kiss them even as he begins to rock into you. 
Just as your heartbeat begins to find some sort of rhythm again, Art pulls out of you almost completely before driving back in. Your breath is knocked out of you and as he begins to thrust with controlled rapidity.
Your hands fall to his still covered ass and dissatisfied with the lack of contact, you push your fingers past the waistband and dig your nails into his naked flesh. 
Art moans into your neck, clamping down with his teeth as he picks up his pace yet again. 
“Art-” You call out, lost in the press of him inside you. 
The table begins to shake so much that it’s slamming against the wall, the noise perfectly aligning with the sound of your hips slapping together.
“Tell me this doesn’t make you feel out of control.” Art pleads, his movements growing frenzied. 
By this point you can hardly think straight, so you give in, his statement going unanswered as your head is thrown back in pleasure. Art chuckles, licking up the column of your neck. 
“I think I got my answer.” 
“Shut up.” 
When Art laughs at you again, you remove your hands from his ass and grip his face instead, drawing his lips back up to yours. He opens wide, panting into your mouth before your tongues start to move together.
You stay like that, mouths joined and breaths shared as his thrusts become messier,  his hands on your back beginning to tremble.
But you’re not close yet and he knows it. He reaches between you and presses his thumb into your sensitive bud, applying enough pressure that, combined with him driving into you, has you quickly coming undone.  
You break the kiss, crying out as your body is wracked with convulsions. 
Art smiles, his eyes drooping closed as he chases his own release. And it doesn’t take long. You’re still coming back to yourself when his hips stutter and his fingers dig into you. He lets go, spilling inside you. 
You both go still. You press your face into his chest–his shirt now dappled with spots of sweat–as he places a kiss on the top of your head. 
You’re both breathing heavily, reeling in the wake of your joining when your phone–tucked into your purse that you had dropped by the door–begins to ring
Still inside you, Art shifts, pressing closer as his lips begin to kiss a path down your cheek. “Don’t answer it.” 
You lean back just enough to meet his eye and smile. “I’m not going to answer it.” 
Art matches your grin as he leans down and gives your lips a peck. “Good. Because I’m nowhere near done with you.”
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simpee9000 · 3 months ago
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Not Just Friends - 9 -
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M.List : Prologue : Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 : Part 8 : Words 5.1k
Childhood best friends turned into something more, at least with the label. Katsuki Bakugo, a fast-rising hero and fast-learning guy who is ever so slow in getting attached to and loving someone. Even three long years into a relationship, and your friends even forget you're even dating. Nothing happening, spare a few kisses.. like 3 kisses, during high school. Graduated and living together, and you guys have done absolutely nothing to further the relationship. Are you sure you're not just friends? Also not edited!! CW: Smut, brief domestic violence discussion, virginity loss, aggressive flirting from creeps, gore with pro hero stuff (lmk if i missed any) Applies to all chapters regardless of it is in said chapter.
The change was weird. A lasting sour taste in your mouth.
It was sudden too. His withdrawal from your life was instant.
Rather than how it was when you were temporarily sharing his room, he didn't wake you up and say goodbye. You thought that was just a morning after an argument thing, but it lasted. Going into the next week he even changed it more.
He no longer let you share your mornings, you had to relearn to use your own alarm quickly. Your schedules conflicted more than just that as well.
Lunch would no longer work, he switched his patrol times and took on meetings instead of leaving the space open for you.
Dinner wasn't really a thing anymore either. He stopped telling you when he'd be home, and after the first week of him not being home till late, you gave up. Throwing yourself into work as well. Changing your hours so you could sleep in more and get home later. Just to eat some leftovers he packed up for you, before turning in.
Words weren't really exchanged anymore and it was weird. You shared a room, and a bed, yet never saw each other awake.
It felt like a break up. In the simplest of terms. It wrecked you for a while. Felt like you were trudging along as you waited for him like a puppy.
You knew he held grudges but you've never expected him to turn it onto you.
You wanted to mourn the relationship but felt like it wasn't a right you had. He was still your boyfriend, you think. And you talked after you woke him up getting into bed. A quick conversation, but a conversation nonetheless. But the relationship back peddled to way before he got the watch. It felt like how it was after your first kiss in first year. Consuming yourselves with school to avoid the talk.
His mom still called often, nothing changed with how she spoke to you. Nothing changed outside your relationship with him and it was weird. You don't even know if your friends have noticed and it's been months.
It was nearing the end of October, the argument happened in the middle of August.
And none of your friends even blinked an eye. When Katsuki refused an invitation they assumed the normal, not surprised to see you at the bar without him. Mei didn't even notice. When you brushed off your change of work schedule and said he changed as well, she didn't ask another question. Thinking you were only glum because of the negative side of the internet. Fans bashing you at any corner possible.
It didn't bother you much, felt like a fly buzzing around you constantly but it was liveable.
Getting pestered for more interviews, people trying to get an inside look at Dynamight's home life. But you followed Shoto's PR manager's advice and chose to stay out of the limelight. Only interviewing when it was about your work.
Your work was your baby after all. Especially recently, it was hard to get you out of the office before two in the morning. Having more heroes come to you than before. It was exciting to see your career grow, you were just slightly annoyed that it was because of Katsuki that it grew. But a win was a win.
Everyone agreed with you on that, your friends closed down a bar for you, wanting to celebrate how many clients you had. You were getting article after article written about your work, being named as the second-best individual support tech in all of Japan. Because obviously, they'd have rankings for that as well.
A blush instantly covered your face when you walked into the bar, Mei pushing you forward. She dragged you out of the lab for once and convinced you to show face.
Kirishima is the first to tackle you in a hug, letting Mina do the same right after. "Congrats," he patted your shoulder as he pulled you more into the bar.
Most of Class A was there for you, celebrating you. Other pros you met along the way as well. People that you stayed in touch with since high school. Anyone you would want to be there was there.
"You guys shouldn't have," you smiled at the group, it was contagious. Denki had a derpy smile on him while Mina was bouncing around.
Kirishima laughed you off, "You needed it, been stuck in that lab and it paid off." You shrunk in on yourself when called out, you hadn't really been showing up that often to group outings. Not nearly as much as you used to.
"I got your favorite Cake!" Mina skipped towards you as best as she could. The cake was custom-made for you, having only the best flavors.
"It's not my birthday," you felt the need to point out, given the size of the celebration. And the candles that topped the cake.
"Might as well be," Mina pushed, "You're a new person! Officially number 2 in Japan!"
You did feel like a new person, you've changed a lot in the past two months.
"Come on," Mei teased over your shoulder, "Blow out the candles!"
"Make a wish!" Mina cheered, pushing the cake closer to you. And with the people you knew, they joined in. Cheering you on.
"They're gonna melt, y'know," Sero urged you once move.
"Fine," you laughed, feeling lighter than you had in the past couple of months. Thinking of nothing in particular as you blew out the candles, only looking around the crowd after. Noticing the lack of a certain blonde.
Rather than letting your shoulders slump too much, you let yourself fall into the cheer from your friends.
It was how you've done things since. You stopped waiting around for him, for the first time since you were kids. You pushed past him, not looking at every notification on your phone and hoping it was him. It didn't take Izuku this long to move beyond Katsuki, so you don't know why you let yourself take this long. Living behind him for so long.
You were pushed from conversation to conversation, catching up with people you haven't seen in a while and then talking with your closest friends. Being handed drink after drink in the process.
"You've been working a lot," Izuku commented when you finally made your way to him.
"Yeah," you nodded happily, "It's paid off."
He furrowed his brows, "You shouldn't overwork yourself. You haven't had a day off in months."
"Not true, I take a day off every week," you corrected him, not knowing where he got that idea. You took a day off every week, taking time to sleep the entire time.
"But-" he looked so confused, "Kacchan said you're not home, like ever."
"Oh," you understood the confusion now, "I switched my off days."
"Why?"
You shrugged, not really wanting to get into this conversation. Especially not with him and not now. You'd fall apart instantly. The feeling and pressure of your fragile relationship sitting on top of your chest. "Needed a change, you know how it is."
"I'm here for you, I know I'm busy but if you need anything I'm here," he was taking on the concerned best friend role, like usual.
"Z', I'm fine, really," you brushed off his concern, "Better than ever, my career is taking off, that's all that matters."
"That's not all that matter-"
"I need to go thank Mina and Mei again for setting this up," you excused yourself and walked through the slowly dying crowd. Meeting with the two pink-haired girls that were chatting near the food.
"Why do you look so drained?" Mei called out instantly, Mina slapping her shoulder right after.
"Social battery is just nonexistent right now," you lied, picking up a piece of food.
Mina looked around the bar, "It seems like it's just your close friends now, everyone else left by now."
You sighed in relief, you wanted to go home somewhat. Yet you didn't want to go back to him.
"Hey, Mei," you got her attention, "Can I spend the night?"
"Yeah," she shrugged, "Thought your social battery was dead though?"
"Friends don't count," you contradicted yourself and just prayed they wouldn't call you on it.
"Still, you never ask," Mei pointed out.
"I'm a new person," you grabbed another piece of food, filling your mouth so you couldn't be asked anymore.
"If you're mad at Bakugo for not showing up I wouldn't blame you." Mina spoke softly, "Dick move of him honestly."
"He's busy, it's fine," you defended him without another thought.
"No it's not, how many award shows have you been to for him?" Mei joined in. It felt nice they had your back, but it wasn't necessary.
You sighed, "I'm used to it. I'll have plenty more so it's fine."
Mina and Mei shared a look, not wanting to give in and forgive him as easily as you do, but not wanting to put you down either. "You're welcome to stay at mine," Mei finished the conversation.
A small gasp left Mina's mouth, eyes widening. "Bag of dicks is here," Mei groaned.
You couldn't help looking over your shoulder, seeing Katsuki for the first time awake in a while. Seeing Kirishima and Denki crowd him instantly. Greeting him warmly as you stood there. "I need a drink," you twisted your direction to head to the bar. Tonight was going to be a good night, not another about him.
Looking at him was too much, it hurt at first. Knowing your last real conversation was an argument. One where he threatened to take sex away from you, when he actually took everything him away. Just because you didn't want him to die for a stupid reason. It hurt to see everything on his side was fine.
It pissed you off. He was acting the same as you were, sure, but you would have gone to his award show. You would have been the first one there. Yet here he was, the last person to show after most left.
The bartender was quick to hand you a drink, watching and replacing it after you downed it all. You've been steadily drinking all night but a new buzz would help. Help the anger that was brewing over you.
You turned around when you had your second drink, wanting to sip on this one instead. Only getting more upset when he was still talking to his friends. Not even sparing you a glance. You let your head fall at this point, watching your shoes as you tapped your feet.
Any thought other than him would help, this wasn't about him. It shouldn't be.
For the past two months, you've been doing everything alone, and it's shown it's worth it. This was just another event that you had to get through. You'd just have to deal with him standing on the sidelines for once.
You saw Uraraka's white shoes before she spoke, "Do you want to join the group?"
When you looked up you saw that people pushed tables together, all of them sitting down together. How you didn't hear them move everything was surprising. Once you got rid of the shock, you turned back to her, "Yeah sure."
She smiled warmly, linking her arm with yours as she walked to the table with you. Sitting down next to you after you took your spot at the head of the table, next to him, unfortunately. You kept your body turned away from him, focusing on talking with her. The two of you didn't get to talk often after all. But you liked her nonetheless, she was the embodiment of welcoming.
The side conversations easily merged into one big conversation. You looked over the group as you leaned back in your chair. Sero was laughing as Denki rambled, Mei and Mina encouraging the conversation while Kirishima tried to reel it back in. Izuku was smiling fondly at the group, the same as Shoto. It was all your closest friends, it made you feel warm.
"It is not just a high school thing," Denki pointed at Sero laughing, "you're just mad that you couldn't." You were easily confused by his outburst, not having a clue what the conversation was about.
"No Nut November is like a middle school joke," Sero stated back.
"What is that?" Shoto asked, confused.
Denki and Sero started laughing, forcing Mina to explain, "It's a thing guys do, a challenge of not nutting for the full month of November."
"Nutting?" Shoto asked again.
"You're kidding!" Denki wheezed.
"Cumming," Kirishima answered, face cringing at the conversation. Everyone cringed besides Denki and Sero, who were too busy laughing.
"Why would you do that though?" Shoto was trying to piece together the concept.
"Only idiots do," Katsuki cut in. It was the first time you heard his voice so clearly all night.
Not being given a chance to soak in his voice, Denki starts defending the idea again, "You're only saying that cause you couldn't last that long."
"I could," Katsuki bit back, wanting to win at anything challenged.
"Please," Sero started teasing as well, "Bakugo you'd last a day."
"How the fuck would you know?"
"You either get some daily or never," Sero pointed out, "I'm falling on the likelihood of daily, knowing your girlfriend."
"Okay," you slapped your hands on the table, "Enough of that conversation."
Mina booed at you, having enjoyed the guys bickering.
"Thank god," you heard Izuku whisper in relief.
"I think I'm going to head out," you announced, standing up and giving Mei a nod so she knew she should get ready. You were thankful the bar was already nearly clean, no help was needed.
You looked down at Katsuki when you heard his keys, the sound familiar to you.
"Did you drive here?" Katsuki asked you, looking back up at you.
"Uh-" you looked at Mei, "I didn't."
"Need a ride back home?" he offered, standing up next to you.
It hurt to decline him, but you didn't want anything to do with him, not tonight.
"Ready?" Mei joined you by your side.
You looked between the two before settling on Katsuki, "I'm actually going to stay the night at Mei's." Any hope he had in his eyes left, face dropping in the slightest bit. You didn't notice the look he held until it was gone.
He looked like he got his heart ripped out and stomped on, but so did you.
"Look, if this is about me showing up late, I'm-"
A surprised laugh left your lips, it was mean. And the look on his face showed that he felt that it was mean as well. "This isn't about you Katsuki," you put it bluntly. It wasn't about him, tonight wasn't about him. You wanted to keep a good mood, and going home with him wouldn't do that.
You didn't give him the chance to reply before you grabbed onto Mei, wanting to leave as soon as possible. Going through all the goodbyes.
---
Mei and you shared the same horrible sleep schedule. She grabbed some wine as she let you collapse on her couch and turned the TV onto something for background noise the second you got to her apartment.
She handed you a glass before she sat down next to you, beer in her own hand. "I got to ask now, you know that right?"
You groaned, taking a sip of your wine, "Hit me with the questions." Avoidance wouldn't last in a small setting and you knew that.
"What the hell happened between you guys?"
"We're having a rough spot right now," you answered simply, shuffling further into the couch.
"That much is obvious."
"Fine," you gave in, taking a deep breath to give an actual answer, "I haven't really talked to him for two months."
Mei's face drained of all color, "What?"
"Yeah," you shrugged, swirling the wine in your glass.
"Are you broken up?" Mei reached a hand to rest on your forearm.
"No, at least," you thought for a second, "I don't think we are."
"How are you with someone you haven't talked to in months?"
"I don't know," you mumbled.
"What type of argument could have caused that?"
You wanted to laugh out of frustration, looking back on it was painful and stupid to you. Yet you were still so mad. "Y'know how I made him that watch?" she nodded, "Well, he asked me to make the watch for the reasons you thought. And he was fully relying on it. Having his quirk off every time he was next to me."
"Can't that kill you?" Mei asked.
"Yes, so I told him that and he turned it into a massive thing. I asked him to take it off, and he said no, so I told him I wouldn't touch him when he had his quirk off. Now we just don't talk," you explained quickly, chest tightening.
"But you're still dating?" you could tell she was trying to be sensitive to the situation.
All you could do was shrug, "I still share a bed with him, so I'm assuming yes."
"How come you don't talk to him?"
"I tried the first week, but when he changed his schedule around to avoid me, I did the same."
"So that's why-"
"Yeah, it's done a lot of good for me though. I've finally grown a lot more. My career is at a high and it's only up from now. I'm no longer just in his shadow. Honestly, I'm thankful for the fight. I finally feel like an adult. I don't need anyone to get me where I am and it's refreshing," you admitted. A lot of good has come from it, and you weren't going to ignore it.
"But you love him?" Mei asked, trying to make sure.
"Of course, he just isn't my life."
"You're not going to try for him? You have been each other's since you were five," Mei worded slowly.
"I'm not reaching out to someone who doesn't want me, Mei," you looked at her, firm on what to do about everything. It was already settled before but now you've actually said it. "I don't know why it took me forever to realize, I wish I did when Izuku did. I would be a lot further in life."
"You already are far in life, you're not even twenty and your 2nd best support tech-"
"I could have been first-"
"No," Mei shook her head, "I'm sorry to say it, but you're only this far because of him. Because of your friends."
"Mei-"
"I'm not wrong, you've been given endless support. Without that? You would still be fumbling behind everyone else. You can't get anywhere in life solely on your own."
"Well, it wasn't only him," you pointed out. You agreed with her, your friends helped a lot.
"It was majority him," she pointed out.
You rolled your eyes, "Don't you somewhat hate him?"
"I still know he's good for you, and if your entire relationship goes to shit over this, I'm not letting myself be a part of it. Is he an asshole for showing up late? Yes, fuck him for that. Is he a dick for throwing a fit about kissing and not talking to you? Absolutely. But he is also the man who loves you the most, he's been there for you so many times. Are you going to throw that away?"
"I'm not throwing shit away, he is," you defended yourself, tears lining your eyes.
"Your not even trying-"
"I shouldn't have to," you stood up, "I tell him everything while he keeps himself away. I'm fucking done. If he wants me, he needs to tell me."
"What are you doing?" Mei questioned, seeing you grab your things.
"Leaving," you said firmly.
"You don't have a car-"
"I'll walk," you spit out, slamming the door to her apartment as you left. Breaking down when in the elevator. You wanted tonight to be about you, about your success. Yet as always, it turned out to be about him. You thought you'd grown out of being only mentioned because of him.
You walked on uneasy footing until you got out of her block. She was your best friend and she didn't even understand. It made you wish you talked to Izuku.
The street lamps lit up your bag as you looked for your phone. Glancing at the time before you dialed his number. His sleep was fucked up too, so you weren't worried about waking him up
"Are you okay?" was the first thing he said, full of concern. It was 3 in the morning after all.
"No," you choked on a sob, choosing to lean on a wall rather than continue walking. You didn't even know where to walk.
"What's going on? Do I need to get you-"
"I'm safe," you cleared up your throat, "I'm just struggling."
"Why?"
"Katsuki and I are in a rough patch, Mei doesn't get my side on it, and I can't turn to him," you rambled, "I just don't know what to do."
"Just breathe right now, you're going to get worse if you continue like this," he counted for you to follow. Performing his hero script as he calmed you down.
You let yourself sit on the concrete, leaning your back onto a random building as you rested your head on your knees.
"Okay," you whispered into the phone, "Katsuki and I haven't talked in two months."
Izuku was a rambler but he was also a good listener. Letting you get out any detail you needed before even opening his mouth. So you told him everything, leaving out any sex-related things. Telling him Katsuki used the watch to hug you or kiss you, so a truth in the cover-up. He could draw up that conclusion on his own.
"I was just thinking that maybe you'd understand," you finished, "I'm just so tired of reaching out to him."
"I get it," he started, "Probably the only one that does. He locks himself off and just expects you to come chasing for him. And the second you don't, he throws a fit. You should let him, I know it's hard, but he needs to grow up as well. You told him your concern and he locked you out, he needs to be the one to let you back in."
You sighed in relief, "So I'm doing the right thing?"
"Yes, especially in a relationship. It shouldn't be so one-sided with communication. You come a long way in the past months, and he should acknowledge that. I love you both, and I hope you guys work past it, but if it doesn't then it's for the best," he spoke to you like a brother would. You didn't even notice when the dynamic between the two of you flipped. Him going from acting like a younger brother to the older brother.
"Thank you," you sniffled, trying to dry the tears that have been working down your face, "Mei thinks I'm throwing everything away."
"He's the one that pushed you out, he's throwing it away," Izuku pointed out. You hummed in agreement, looking down at your phone.
"Holy fuck," the time surprised you, it was nearing five in the morning, and it was a Saturday. You were thankful that the city wasn't awake yet. "I need to get home."
"You're not home?!" he squeaked into the phone, "Where are you?"
"I don't know," you answered honestly, standing upright and stretching your limbs out.
"What?!"
"I'll start walking home now," you tried to calm him down.
"Do you know how dangerous that is?"
"I'm fine Izuku, I'm maybe a block away from home," that seemed to calm him down. He let you hang up the phone, telling you to text him when you were home.
You were glad to have a hoodie at this point, pulling the hood up to hide your tear-streaked face as you walked back home. Needing the ten-minute walk to calm down. Think for yourself.
While you fully agreed with Izuku, you also saw Mei's point of view. She wanted you happy, and you were happy with Katsuki. You didn't want to break up with him, you loved him fully. But if he couldn't meet you halfway, you weren't going to rush to fill that emptiness he left. You'd rather move on to better things. Maybe find someone who would.
With your head hung low the entire walk back to your apartment, you didn't even notice you were in the elevator until it opened on your floor. Having walked all the way on a full autopilot. Thinking of your relationship that overtook one of the biggest days of your career.
You opened your door with a sigh, throwing your keys on the shelf before turning into the kitchen for some water. Filling up a glass before you walked to the basket of blankets in the corner of the living room.
The second you turned around to walk to the couch you dropped your glass. A shocked scream left your lips when you saw Katsuki sitting there in the dark.
"What the fuck are you doing?" you hissed at him, confused as to why he was sitting in the dark and not in his room.
"I was sleeping," he answered.
"Here?" you shot back, bending down to pick up the broken glass.
"Aren't you supposed to be at Mei's?"
You squeezed your hand in annoyance, only noticing the burn of the cut then.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," you turned his concern down, throwing away the broken glass when you walked into the kitchen. Thankful that it broke into big pieces rather than small. You ran your hand underwater as you ignored him.
"You're bleeding," it was clear he was groggy with sleep.
"No shit," you answered plainly.
"Fuckin' c'mere," he moved near you, trying to grab your hand only to get swatted away.
"I can take care of myself," you snapped at him, moving to grab a paper towel, trying to dry up the small cut.
"Think I don't fucking know that?" he asked back, agitated at your reactions to him. You waited for the bleeding to stop before throwing away your trash and grabbing a bandaid to cover the small cut to your finger.
You shrugged, "Never know with you. Never tell me anything. Don't know what you know or don't."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I-" you sighed, you didn't want to get into it, "Nothing, I'm tired." You walked past him again, grabbing a blanket and getting comfortable on the couch.
"You're sleeping down here?"
"Yeah, go to bed Katsuki," you turned away from him.
"Kats," he said softly, making you turn to face him again.
"What?"
"You stopped calling me Kats, it's only this Katsuki bullshit now."
"Whatever, Katsuki," you dismissed without thinking, turning back over as you tried to forget how he looked just then. It's how he looked at the party, just ten times worse.
"What happened to us?"
You didn't bother to reply, it was clear he wanted you to do the talking. But if he wanted to actually talk, he had to first.
"This," he paused, silence filling the air before he cleared his throat only for his voice to crack regardless, "This isn't what I want."
"You never told me what you wanted," you couldn't help but reply.
"I'm not good at this type of shit," he was angry at himself but you wouldn't fall into this pity party for himself. "I didn't think you'd change your schedule."
"You changed yours."
"I only did that because I needed to think," he defended.
"For two months?"
"I switched it back after but you weren't home, and haven't been since."
"So you couldn't have called? Asked me when I did get home at night? Woke me up in the morning to talk?"
"You could have done the same."
"I always do that Katsuki," you turned to face him, "I'm always the one fucking chasing you. And I'm done."
He choked, "You're done?"
"I'm done chasing after you," you clarified, "I've met you halfway, time after time, you just need to do the same."
Silence buzzed around the living room. The two of you were just staring at each other. Both are equally heartbroken. You looked him over for the first time in months.
"You're still wearing the watch," you pointed out, seeing the gleam of it on his wrist.
"You gave it to me," he replied, "I haven't used it since, by the way."
"Good."
He took a shaky breath in, "I'm so fucking sorry, Brains." You waited for him to continue, "You were right, I wasn't using it just as a crutch. I was completely relying on it." It hurt to hear it from him, you already knew it was true. "I, fuck," he ran his hand over his face, "I went to the doctor too, they said if I used it that much it'd kill me. Having my quirk completely off."
You couldn't be more glad about the fight now, knowing it kept him from killing himself. Sure it wouldn't kill him immediately, but over time it would just get worse and worse for his health.
"Once I found out you were right, I just couldn't bear the thought. I don't feel safe around you without my quirk dampened and now I can't," he admitted, "I feel my quirk just with this conversation. I don't want to hurt you."
"You were late to the party," you pointed out instead, "You never even congratulated me."
He hung his head, "I got sidetracked with trying to get a gift- but I was going to congratulate you at home."
"Doesn't excuse it."
"I know, I'm sorry," he reached into his pocket, "I got this for you though." He tossed the small bag at you.
You gave him an unsure look before opening it, first seeing a sticker of "World's Best Tech" an inside joke between the two of you. He hated the idea of #1 mugs and things like it, claiming he was better than everyone else. The next was just a small necklace, something easy to wear with everything.
"It doesn't make up for shit, and that's not what I'm trying to do with it," he said after you stared at the gift for a while.
"I know," you spoke softly, the gift was thoughtful for your relationship.
"I'm so fucking proud of you, I knew you could do it," he followed.
Tears were hitting your eyes harder than before. Despite claiming you didn't need him. You wanted to hear him say that so bad.
You saw him move to get up when he saw your tears, sitting back down and grabbing his own hands when he decided against it. You patted the seat next to you. As long as his watch wasn't on, you were okay. He rushed immediately to your side, tugging you into a hug before he could overthink.
"I should have talked to you a lot sooner," he spoke into your hairline, leaving a kiss on your forehead after.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry I can't be there for you like this," he said softly.
You pulled back from him, "What do you mean?"
"Can't hug you and shit," he grumbled, pulling you back into him. Not wanting you to see his face.
You sat in silence for a while, soaking in his words and the perspective he likely had the past two months. He could have thought you stopped talking to him because he couldn't touch you anymore.
"I'm not mad that you can't touch me, I'm upset that you don't talk to me, in general," you spoke just as softly as he did, wanting to comfort him the way he was comforting you.
He let out a breath of relief, "It's gotten worse without you around."
"What did?"
"My quirk just goes off without you now, just the thought freaks me out enough. Fuckin' annoying," he confessed.
"Is it going to go off soon?" you wanted to be prepared to be pushed away from him. If he did it unannounced you'd likely cry. He just squeezed you closer.
"No," he said quietly, "It's finally calmed the fuck down."
-Next Part-
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adeleidetheexplorer · 3 months ago
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ᰋ  ׅ࣪   ꒰  pac reading detailed ♡︎ the realistic energy of your future spouse, who are they for real?  ꒱ 
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01. 02. 03.
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keep in mind that the physical appearance is collective one and it may indicates that not all the parts is totally alike of them which is based on the reading. it may tell you as well that there are some of parts of them from the description that is closely similar for your future spouse's physical attributes for example, the nose, eyes, moles, skin color, height or freckles.
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01
1.) physical appearance
you get the impression that this person is a hem and haw. a pair of brown eyes that resemble almonds, eagerly watch over the wilderness they've long guarded. their coffee-colored, fine and a short-straight hair that's styled in a way that makes you think from the eras 1900, combed perfectly at the back which is revealing their sad and bony face. a body that's in between of curved, lean and mascular types despite having that type of body they will tower the rest of people around them. a skin complexion which is in the light tones. they have long fingers and a big full mouth while most of their clothes are professional.
some freckles spread mesmerizingly around their nose and cheekbones, leaving charming memories of their happy childhood. this is them, your future spouse - a true romantic (dreamer) among the rest. perhaps of maybe having an unhappy moments and hurtful past or maybe it's just a sense of security towards others, there's something misleading about them from people, perhaps it's their sense of humor or perhaps it's simply their kindness. but nonetheless, people ask them favors and tend to wish to get to know them better, while trying to avoid and secretly training to become more like them.
2.) positives
protective, tough, knows how to stand on their own ground, charismatic, great decision maker, optimistic, the best planner, have a great childhood memories, not easily to get fooled, sociable, suave, a trustworthy, loves unique people, liberal, knows how to appreciate the richness whether it's big or small, broad-minded, friendly, looking for true love and soulmates, good communicator and consistent.
3.) negatives
feels detached easily when they don't get the attention they want, inner sadness(/sadistic), felt inexperience, likes to stick around probably 24/7 (super clingy), immature, over critical, fanatical, doesn't take care their health most of the time, restricting themselves to achieve more, prefer to live in a rose-colored glasses but may lack of action to do it, careless and maybe someone who is lack of discipline.
4. love/dating history
considering this individual values sincere love. most of the time, they flirt as well as having flings but usually thinking they'd like to get settled down with someone who is right for them. they usually refer and more preoccupied with their own self-improvement and less about their own romantic life right now. they possess the ability of realistic love and person and if they stumble upon the right one, they think their prayer have been answered. they are willing to sacrifice everything for the person of their dreams, their devotion, their exceptionally high lifestyle, along with everything they were entitled to, nevertheless the chronology of every single one of the aforementioned actions are somewhat a sign that you ought to shower your love on them.
5.) career and money
they akin to having to work solo almost all their times, and therefore can be recognized pros. someone who makes greater than the bare minimum amount of salary. they were able to function in any of the areas that follow: animal care, the dental profession, guiding people, medical professionals, or in general, someone who looks after the mental well-being of others, which might involve a psychologist, psychiatrist, or simply any mental healthcare worker, writing and reading, and defending people from harm. they prefer to develop their own money by means of their own hard work and hands.
6.) home life, family and friends
they feel playful around it. from their household life to their companions. they genuinely closed with a manly vitality here, your future companion highlights a gigantic respect for this person maybe they can be a parent of them. and besides i picking up here that they customarily feel an entire person with all of these people, they genuinely appreciate being included by these individuals. they maybe born in a family which is able as of presently fulfill a money related security. their household life and people who included them in their presence are outstandingly optimistic, they can genuinely depend with these people when it comes looking at their personal issues and circumstances since these individuals are unfaltering and reasonable. the only issue is that this person really don't slant toward sharing it with others since they don't want to be called as "weak". so they as frequently as conceivable allowed themselves to discussion various negatives alone. they can be an only child person or maybe they belong to a family where children are opposite-s x like they conceivably feminine or masculine among their kinfolk. it can be that this person has one companion or they are regularly meet or surrounded by unused people that they may not considered buddies at all.
a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy "foolish heart" by steve perry.
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02
🐰ada says: "I picked up 2 different energies from this pile, one is masculine and the other one is feminine."
1.) physical appearance
1.1 if they were masculine
standing 5'9 tall, this red-brown skinned person has a moody feel about them, their short, brown hair, currently dip-dyed half way with shades of blue or orange, is neatly braided. they have a short goatee/mustache that is a shade browner than their hair. they might even have a messy beard. they have slender hands, spindly legs, straight hips, and average-sized feet, they have multiple tattoos on their lower legs, neck, right foot, hands, stomach or upper back. they have big, hazel eyes, a flat-wide nose and smooth cheeks, if they were someone who wears make up, they wear an obvious foundation, light eyeliner, subtle blush and light eyeshadow, they look eternal. they often wear masculine clothes that are mostly light-coloured, they are usually seen wearing a certain style of kerchief.
1.2 if they were feminine
they have a wide shoulders, this brown skinned person has a very worldly feel about them, and they have a distinctive mark on their right leg which causes offense if they are asked about it. their perm, black hair is very short. they have mysterious, large, light brown eyes, a long face and very thin lips, large hands, small feet and muscular legs. they have a uniquely styled and they are usually seen wearing a traditional jacket.
2.) positives
casual to every people they encounter, generous, charming. free-spirit, sociable, honest, trustworthy, very private person, believe that everyone is not perfect and usually make mistakes, loves to bring joy, knows how to take care of themselves, doesn't use much of social media, they know how to protect their inner peace, independent, know how to debate, luck is on their side always, smart, learn from their mistakes to re-learn and someone who is educated.
3.) negatives
hot-headed sometimes, not really committed about someone and something, way to blunt, cold, obsessive/possessive, hold grudges, maybe someone who has an addction, may like to control other people, may like to party a lot, kinda feel lonely sometimes, sexu I?(maybe this one is neutral), may act most of the time being unconcern, heartbreaker, can be bitter about their past, way to logic, they have dark side that won't tell to other people or might be with neither you and most of the time they follow their head rather than their heart.
4.) love/dating history
your future life partner may had one partner some time recently, your future companion is somebody who may be from a long-term commitment or somebody who is separate from their partner before assembly you. they possibly have a child with this individual or arranging to have one with them. there's a genuine strife that has been happen with this individual which can lead their relationship to ended up a toxic way. this individual is giving me, a really overwhelming vitality, exceptionally dull. it also looks like adore is so favorable for them, they get what they needed for a accomplice. but within the conclusion, indeed in spite of the fact that this two individuals chosen to part up, they will attempt to mend each other's to begin with some time recently completely clearing out and moving absent from one and another, individuals may percieve their relationship as culminate and full of cherish but the truth is- it's not, their sentiments for each other's aren't the same as some time recently, the start is as of now gone after this two break, they gonna attempt to work for themselves and attempt to go alone as person to begin with some time recently letting. themselves to go for the another relationship.
5.) career and money
self-made. they are somebody who utilized to have different occupations to bolster themselves fiscally. they are skilled and somebody who is able to rapidly get a handle on modern concepts, they can offer sand in desert, that's how great your future life partner or future spouse are, they can be somebody in the field of I.T analyst, medical treatment and field, bodyguard, actor, art trading areas, artist, musician, singer, commerce examiner, judge, business analysis and somebody who works in promoting and craftsmanship exchanging ranges. anything or what kind of work they closes with, it bringing them up into the highlight or spotlight, victory and triumph is made out from their claim hardwork, individuals at their work calling them frequently for help or simply adore how they work, they will be reliable at their work and they aren't narrow minded when it comes to cash or maybe on the off chance that they think there's surfeit almost it, they ordinarily giving or giving it to others. they aren't that much centering on their accounts and money but they know they come to this solidness they accomplishing for themselves for financial, they aren't centering much on their cashes since they appreciate living the minute, after all, this individual accept "money can't purchase happiness",
6.) home life, family and friends
i think this individual doesn't have kin at all and possibly they were only child but they do have numerous companions and connection. they ordinarily amicable individual and likes to form association with individuals. they appreciate their social life and they kinda ruined as well from their guardians when they were a kid but i think it's gone when they gotten to be grown-up. they guardians adore them exceptionally much and they appreciate that kind of cherish they've encountering from their domestic and social life, they think they are the foremost fortunate individual. well, little things makes them upbeat presently not at all like some time recently. they may live in a house which is outlined and great for atleast 3-4 family individuals, with two rooms. this house can be colored in white, gold and green.
a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy "your still the one" by shaina twain.
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03
1.) physical appearance
a fine, lived-in face is revealed by a tight pulled ponytail. they have light tones greasy hair. this native, you gonna felt at home with for so long are guarded by bloodshot light earthy colored eyes that are securely anchored in their sockets, an enormous ears, extremely flimsy lips and a straight nose. their eyes and hair are beautifully complemented by a glisten visual, leaving a pleasant memory of their fortunate appearance. despite of their fragile frame, they perceived themselves as everyone else. they exudes an unrestrained aura despite of being medium-tall and svelte. their special striking element is their white, shimmering teeth. they (maybe) have moles completely covering their left thigh, right hand, chest, stomach and right lower arm (anywhere in these areas). they frequently wears opulent, spectacular garments that are generally pastel-hued, golden or dark colors. they typically seen wearing an unmistakable and undeniable shroud.
2.) positives
intuitive, romantic, mysterious, sympathetic, a true leader, tidy, responsible, quite and carefully listening to what the other person sharing to them, goal-oriented, influence others in a good way, sociable, easy to get liked by many, faithful, committed, have a strong inner strength and they usually attract many admirers.
3.) negatives
blunt, argumentative whether they're wrong or right, trouble maker, self doubt, anxious, rude and bossy.
4.) love/dating history
they as often as possible discover themselves in this viewpoint while in case they gonna proceed finding adore or proceed working on their possess objectives like goals. i can say this individual is single since birth and do not really have a dating history but they drop in cherish once however they knew this love is one sided which other individual doesn't cherish them back as the way they do. i also think usually a crush that turned into love, i do have this feeling that they confessed to this individual and this person turned them down since they preferred somebody else. right presently, they attempting their best to discover and adjust between these two angles of their life (love and career) whereas attempting to figuring out what truly their reason on the earth, you might meet them through your social associations.
5.) career and money
this individual is exceptionally decided to attain their objectives to gotten to be what they needed to be, they need to win and succeed in life. truly, they will accomplish much advance in their career life and will have flexibility from obligation and will be able to achieve security and steadiness. i am moreover figuring out that after marriage, the money will bloom and will accomplish more. fair an counsel for you to not spend as well much of all their cash since they worked difficult for it and it is no joke the work they put in for this security to realize. they may be from a family that incorporates a huge trade running or fair basically a family part of a proficient (a big family business). anticipate that individual to be proficient, they may be somebody who works as a chef, specialist, ceo, attorney, property speculator, genuine domain proprietor and fire fighter or firewoman.
6.) home life, family and friends
i knew it. they are from a family that appears proficient, they are ordinarily private and share as it were a number of viewpoints of their life with others. their family claims tons of properties but as i'm getting here, they may be living within the farmland. they live in a reviving house with their family, i too think that they met companions since of schools and with their family associations. they might do sports at school and it's so well known. i too think that their family itself is well-known in their community, as i talk here, perhaps their guardians have a part of associations and engagement with other greater individuals. they sentiments appears distant absent from their family, they might see these individuals scarcely or most exceedingly bad few times in a month. when we talk about their guardians, they are strict, rules and routines individuals.
a channeled song dedicated to you from them based on your future energy "all i ever need" by austin mahone.
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© thecelestialperiwinkle
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romanticatheartt · 9 months ago
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*tiny HOFAS spoiler*
So while reading the book I came across these two paragraphs:
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chapter 13 ^
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chapter 81 ^
And they oddly reminded me of Feyre...
I'm not saying it means anything because I'm no theorist lol but while reading these, only Feyre came to my mind.
Cthona holding an infant while her other hand hold an orb which represents Midgard and in ACOWAR we have Feyre fixing the Cauldron which we learn it's kill switch for Prythian (even tho we knew that but now there's a story behind it) so she -and Rhys- literally saved their whole planet. In another word its holding up because of their power...
Urd holding a black metal bowl in her hands and symbols are carved all over it. Cauldron also have patterns swirl on it. Those symbols runs all over Urd's body and we have Feyre having tattoos on her arms and in ACOTAR we've seen her body being painted in patterns.
ACOTAR -> chapter 13:
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ACOWAR -> chapter 76:
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Now we know Feyre had their entire *world* into the palm of her hand and not universe because back then we didn't know other worlds exist as well. But again this looks like Cthona, birther of worlds, holding the Orb in one of her hands, the other holding a baby and Urd, Goddess/Fate/Mother, holding a bowl in her hands...
idk what all this means, maybe Sarah only like the aesthetic. And I think it's so far fetched to say Feyre is a goddess (or semi-goddess?)... but it's all very interesting :)
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cr: paintfaery on Instagram
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wandascosmic · 3 months ago
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she's cheer captain (5)
wanda maximoff x fem!reader
part five of 'you belong with me' series
summary: basically a wanda series inspired by jim and pam from the office
word count: 3595
tags: best friends to lovers, slowburn, reader is in love with wanda, wanda's as oblivious as ever but loves reader so much, in a friends way, pining, a whole basketball game, reader is a pro basketball player actually, except i don't know anything about basketball so this is the best i could do, minor injury, minor mention of blood, vision sucks
part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7
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“No, I know the warranty’s expired but isn’t it supposed to last longer than two years if it isn’t defective?” you overhear Wanda say on the phone. “Ok, 3 years then.” 
Furrowing your brows, you make your way over to her desk to ask what’s wrong, seeing Wanda anxiously biting the nail of her thumb. 
“Hey, Maximoff, what’s up?” you ask softly, Wanda’s head jerking up at the sound of your voice, her eyes softening once she sees you. 
“Hey,” she mumbles dejectedly. “Um, the toaster oven I got at my engagement shower broke,” she laughs awkwardly. “And I know it’s silly, but..” 
The toaster oven you got at your engagement shower 3 years ago. For a wedding that still has yet to be set. “No, I understand,” you offer her a reassuring smile. 
Wanda smiles back gratefully.  
Drumming your fingers on the desk, you ask, “Are you ready for the basketball game against the warehouse staff today?” 
Wanda groans, leaning back against her chair. “It’s not gonna end well.” 
You laugh. “Wow, Maximoff. For Tony’s designated cheerleader for today, you’re quite negative,” you tease.  
Wanda laughs as well. “That was Sam’s idea so he could suck up to Tony.” She shakes her head. “And besides, I declined because I can’t cheer against Vis.” 
Your smile falls for a split second. 
“Yeah, I guess not.” 
***
“Attention, everyone,” Tony announces coming out of his office. 
You swivel in your chair to face him, leaning your head on your hand. 
“Corporate just called me to let me know that we need staff to come in on Saturday,” he says, making the office staff groan collectively. 
“Yeah, that was my reaction too,” he mutters. “Anyways, they let me know that the basketball game later today against the warehouse staff can be used to decide who comes in and who will stay home, and I agreed.  So those of you playing, you better win, because I refuse to come in on a Saturday,” Tony says menacingly before going back into his office.  
“Wait, Tony, we still need a cheerleader!” Sam yells as he runs after him, but Tony ignores him, shutting the door in his face. “Wanda, I still think it should be you.” He says, turning to the receptionist. 
“No, Sam,” she declines once more, dialing a number on the desk phone and putting it up to her ear. “I can’t cheer against my fiance.” 
“I’ll do it,” you say, making Sam and Wanda look at you curiously. 
Sam turns around and narrows his eyes at you. 
“You know, wear a little flouncy skirt and what-not,” you say seriously. 
Wanda snickers quietly at your joke. 
“Yeah, right, Y/N,” Sam grumbles. 
“Oh, yeah,” you rub your chin with your pointer finger and thumb. “I forgot I’ll be busy playing on the team, and you’re benched for nearly setting the building on fire last year after losing in foosball.” 
***
You were actually looking forward to playing on the team. It’s been a while since you had played basketball, but you had been on your high school team for all four years and it was something that had kind of become your thing. Plus, you may or may not have the motivation of impressing a certain green-eyed brunette.  
“Are you coming down?” you ask Wanda as you tie up your running shoes in the chair across from her. 
“Yeah, I’m just forwarding the phones,” Wanda answers, pressing a few buttons absentmindedly. 
“You gonna wish me luck?” you ask. 
“Yeah, you’re gonna need it,” Wanda returns, her mouth opening in fake shock as you laugh at her.  
“No way, is that trash-talk from Wanda?” you tease. 
“I’m just saying, Vision is very competitive,” she tells you with a shrug. “And, he wants to take the waverunners to the lake this Saturday, so..” Wanda tilts her head in a teasing manner. 
“Wow,” you say wistfully with a shake of your head. “Well, I’m going to the outlet mall on Saturday,” you respond as if you were rather conflicted. “So if you wanna save big on brand names and Vision has to work,” you pause to give her a teasing smile making her let out a laugh. “Which he will, because I’m also competitive.” Wanda raises her eyebrow slightly at the challenge. “You should feel free to come along,” you invite.    
Wanda ponders for a moment, tapping her chin in deep thought. “Um, I think I’m gonna be up at the lake,” she answers with a smirk.
You narrow your eyes at her with a smile. “I think I’ll see you at the mall, Maximoff.” 
Wanda laughs. 
***
Sam had somehow convinced Tony to let him play on the team despite his history of quick-tempered overreactions, you didn’t know how he did it, but you suspect it might have to do with the half-eaten chocolates you saw in Tony’s office through the window which weren’t there in the morning. 
Now, your team consists of you, Sam, Tony, Nat, and Peter, who joined last week as the new intern. 
“Alright,” Tony walks onto the middle of the floor of the warehouse. “Those of you on the team with me, you better win because I refuse to come in on a Saturday,” he announces, which you suppose is his version of a pep talk. 
“Wow, Tony, very motivational,” Nat replies sarcastically with her arms crossed. 
“You know, if we win, maybe Tony will buy us some drinks,” you tell Wanda, stretching out your legs slightly. 
Wanda pats your back in false comfort, “Well, that’s a nice thought, but once again, it’s gonna be a tough competition…” 
“Oh, you’ll see, Maximoff,” you retort. “I’ll be at the outlet mall on Saturday, getting loads of great deals, then celebrating with a round of shots.” 
Wanda laughs, and you smile at her. 
But your smile quickly falls as you see Vision come out of the warehouse bathroom in his athletic wear, on his way to greet his fiance. 
Wanda notices your line of sight and turns to face him, greeting him with a hand on his chest and a quick peck on the lips. 
“Hi,” she says in a breathy voice, looking up at him with a loving grin on her face. 
“Hey,” he whispers back, and Wanda wraps her arms around his neck as the two engage in a much deeper kiss. 
You quickly avert your gaze and decide to do a couple more stretches.  
“Alright, everyone, listen up,” Tony declares as both the office and warehouse staff huddle up in a circle, Vision unfortunately ending up standing next to you. “This is gonna be a friendly game, but whoever loses this game will have to come in to work this Saturday, got it?” 
Everyone nods in understanding. 
“Alright, great, let’s start,” he says, jogging backward into place as everyone starts to disperse around the court.  
“Have a good game,” you tell Vision as the two of you take a couple of steps back to spread out, holding out your hand for him to shake. 
“Yeah, you too,” he says, shaking your outstretched hand and then running off to meet his teammates. “Should be fun,” you catch him mutter under his breath. 
You narrow your eyes in suspicion. 
“Alright, office team, huddle up,” Tony announces, snapping you out of your thoughts and forcing you to form a circle with the rest of your teammates. “Peter, you’ll take Steve, Nat, you’ll take Clint, Sam, you take Vision, Y/N, you’re on T’Challa, and I’m on Jean, got it?” 
You all nod. 
“Alright, good luck. Spread out, everyone!” Tony says as he walks towards the middle of the court to grab the ball. “Wanda, you’ve got your foot in both camps here, why don’t you do the jump ball, okay?” 
Wanda nods and walks towards Tony to grab the basketball. 
“Don’t listen to him, Wanda, trust me. Tip it my way or you’re sleeping in the car,” Vision jokes with a laugh as he squats down. 
You clench your jaw as you see Wanda’s frown. 
The ball goes up in the air and Tony quickly gets his fingers on it to tip it towards your side of the court. 
“Sam!” he yells as the ball ends up right beside Sam. 
Sam tries to dribble the ball but unfortunately, you all quickly notice that his skills are subpar at best. Sam loses control of the ball after the third dribble, allowing Vision to steal it from him. 
“Oh, come on!” Tony yells, running after Vision as well as the rest of you. 
You quickly sprint after Vision who is on his way to score, and right as he’s about to send the ball into the hoop, he passes it to Steve, who makes the shot. 
“Damn it,” you mutter. 
T’Challa tries to pass to Vision but you quickly interfere, stealing the ball before Vision can get it and sprint towards the hoop, dribbling the ball at your side. Before you can make the shot Clint guards you, so you pass it to Sam and run around Clint. 
“Shoot it, Sam!” Tony shouts. 
Sam throws the ball to try and score but misses again, accidentally throwing it over the hoop entirely. 
“Sorry, Tony!” Sam apologizes. 
“It’s fine, Sam,” Tony replies, but you can tell that he’s already starting to get frustrated. “Let’s go into zone, everyone!” he instructs. 
You jog in position, squatting down in an athletic stance to try and grab the ball being passed around between the warehouse staff.
“Defense!” Sam chants with a clap. “Defense!” 
You guard T’Challa with your arms up, and he quickly tosses the ball over your head to pass to Vision who’s right beside the hoop and about to score. You sprint to try and stop the ball, but Vision scores another point before you can reach him by doing a layup. 
Tony groans. “Who’s got Vision? Come on, step it up!” he yells. 
You move to grab the ball Vision scored and start to dribble it as you sprint towards the other side of the court. Once you reach the hoop, you’re about to shoot the ball when suddenly Vision stands in front of you to stop you from shooting the ball, with the rest of his teammates surrounding him. You inch a bit closer to him, as if you’re about to run past him on his right side, the ball dribbling at your side, and right as he starts to lean over a little bit to mirror your position, you fake him out, throwing the ball behind your back and catching it on the other side of your body, successfully passing him on his left and scoring another point. 
“Whoo!” Wanda cheers, joining in on the applause you receive for your play. 
The game passes by a bit more, and soon the ball ends up in Sam’s hands once again who’s on the opposite side of the court from the hoop. Sam goes off of his first instinct, and tries to shoot it from all the way across the court, surprising no one when it doesn’t make it into the hoop. 
“Oh, come on!” Sam yells in frustration. 
Nat steals the ball from Clint who had picked it up after Sam’s shot and scores once more, and Steve makes a 2-pointer after taking the ball from Peter, who was trying his best to be as friendly as possible since he was still the new guy. 
You furrow your brows in confusion as you hear an argument come from the corner of the warehouse, turning to see Sam trying to full-on wrestle the ball out of Jean’s hands.
“Back off!” Jean yells at him, but Sam ignores her as he gets the ball out of her grip. 
He sprints, dribbling the ball to his side as he runs towards the hoop, but unfortunately, Vision steals the ball from him before he can make it, making another shot for the warehouse team instead.  
Tony shakes his head. “All right, time out,” he says, making a T with his hands. “Office team, come on in.” 
You all walk towards Tony who stands beside the bench, panting heavily and starting to sweat quite a bit. 
“Ok, we’re down right now, guys, what do we do?” 
“Run away and start a beet farm,” Sam suggests with a shrug. 
“What? No,” Tony answers with a shake of his head. 
“Switch Y/N and Sam,” Nat responds. “She’s the strongest on our team, and it looks like Vision is theirs.” 
Wanda’s eyes widen as she overhears Nat’s suggestion from the bench. 
“Yes, smart. Ok, Y/N, you take Vision. Sam, you’ll take T’Challa, got it?” He points to the two of you and you both nod in response. 
Wanda shifts uncomfortably in her seat. 
“All right, everyone take it up a notch, come on!” Tony says with a clap, silently instructing you all to disperse across the court once more. 
The ball goes back into play, Nat taking hold of it immediately, who quickly passes it to you, and you start to dribble your way toward the hoop. You’re about to score, but Steve blocks you with his arms out, along with Vision who stands at your side to prevent you from scoring as well. 
You dribble the ball slightly, inching a bit closer to Steve before faking him out and turning to throw the ball over Vision’s head, scoring another point. 
“Yes, let’s go!” Tony yells with a fist pump. 
You jog back to the other side, giving Wanda a teasing nod as you pass her on the bench, and she watches your running form with a soft smile. 
Peter grabs the ball from Clint, starting to dribble toward the hoop, but Sam steals it from him, making his first shot of the game.  
“Same team Mr. Sam!” Peter yells, but Sam ignores him as he continues to cheer for himself.
The ball soon goes back into play, and you sprint as fast as you can after it. Steve gets ahold of it first, but gets blocked by Peter before he can go any further. You see Steve about to pass it to Vision and you quickly block him to try and catch the ball yourself. Vision growls, shoving you out of the way so you stand behind him so he can grab it instead. 
The ball gets thrown into the air, the two of you shoving each other out of the way to try and take ahold of it. As you’re about to steal it successfully, your palms are right about to contact both sides of the ball, suddenly, something hits you right in the mouth. Hard. 
You run off slightly with your hand on your mouth to check if you’re bleeding, and Wanda’s eyes widen with worry as she sits up slightly to see if you’re ok. 
“Whoa! Whoa! Vision! Foul! Dude, you just clocked her right in the mouth with your elbow,” Tony says with shock. “Y/N, are you alright?” 
Wanda tries to peer around the corner to check on you, her worry increasing by the second.  
Once you walk back onto the court and nod that you’re ok, she exhales in relief, relaxing slightly. 
The game soon restarts and the ball makes its way into your hands once more. You dribble the ball to the hoop, and right as you’re about to score, Vision stands in front of you, blocking you from making your shot. Dribbling the ball slightly, you fake him out on his right and quickly go around his left, scoring another point. Soon after, Vision is about to score when you steal the ball from him, and run towards your own hoop, scoring a 3-pointer for your team. 
Wanda smiles as she watches you play. 
Tony passes the ball to you and Vision quickly guards you by standing on your backside as the hoop is behind you. You fake him out once more and swivel around to score. However, as you do your move, he trips and falls over, making him skid a couple inches on the ground.  
“What the hell, Y/N?” he says as he stands back up, brushing his shorts slightly. 
“Hey, dude. That wasn’t her fault,” Tony says, pointing towards his untied shoelace. 
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” he retorts, bumping your shoulder forcefully as he walks past you. 
Wanda frowns as she watches the interaction. 
Bruce lets you all know that the game is about to end in 2 minutes, and somehow Sam scores his second shot of the game after stealing the ball from Tony, making Tony roll his eyes despite being grateful for the additional point. 
The game passes quickly, and suddenly, you all hear the blare of an airhorn being fired by Bruce to indicate that the game is over. 
You stop running and try to catch your breath by putting your hands on your knees, feeling exhausted from all the exercise. 
“And the winners are,” Bruce points to Jennifer to indicate for her to do a drum roll. “The office team by 10 points!” he announces. 
You all cheer and high-five one another, and you receive a couple of compliments on your play making you smile. 
Tony turns to the warehouse staff. “All right, great,” he claps. “Guess you guys are working Saturday.” 
The warehouse workers groan, starting to walk out the door to go and change, but unfortunately, Vision has a different idea. “No, no, no, I’m not coming in on Saturday,” he says, stepping closer to Tony. 
“Hey, come on, man, they won fairly.” Steve pats him on the back. 
“No, no way, this isn’t happening, Rogers,” Vision replies, shoving Steve’s hand off of him aggressively and invading Tony’s personal space even more. 
“Dude,” Tony gets his attention. “We won. You heard me at the beginning, whoever loses will come in on Saturday. That was the deal, alright?” 
“I don’t care,” Vision snaps back. “We’re coming in on Monday, right?” 
You sigh, noticing Vision’s fists clenched and the sign that he’s about to get physical. Slightly worried for Tony’s safety and because you were already tired, you decide it’s probably best to end the argument. “Hey, Tony,” you say softly. “It’s fine, we’ll come in on Saturday,” you comply. 
Tony shakes his head. “No, Y/N, that won’t fly. We won fairly and this guy is just coming in here–” 
��Tony, it’s fine,” you interrupt. “It probably wouldn’t have been good for morale anyways,” you reason.
“You know you basically won that game for us, right?” Tony says, utterly confused by your actions. “And now you’re completely discrediting your hard work–” 
“Tony, don’t worry about it.” 
He narrows his eyes at you. “You’re insane, Y/N.” 
You shrug in response. 
“Well?” Vision demands. 
Tony looks over at you and you nod. 
“Fine,” Tony relents. “We’ll come in on Saturday.” 
Vision smiles smugly, and as leaves the two of you to head towards the bathroom, you hear his snark remark of, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” 
You and Tony both watch him until he closes the bathroom door behind him, and you sigh as you go to pack up your stuff. 
“I hate you,” Tony says behind you. 
You nod, zipping up your bag and patting him on the shoulder. 
“Well, you can yell at me on Saturday,” you respond, going to head upstairs to shower and change. 
***
You were back in your work clothes now, staring into the most beautiful green eyes to ever exist as the recipient of them iced your lip for you. 
“Wanda, this is completely unnecessary,” you tell her, sitting up slightly in the large chair across from her desk. “I’m fine.” 
“I know, but it looked like it hurt, and this will prevent it from swelling,” she replies, sitting down on the arm of the chair. Wanda’s brows furrow in focus as she treats your barely qualified injury, while you watch the cute expression on her face, completely entranced. Somehow, every day you just fell more and more in love with her. And right now, you didn’t even care that you had to come in on Saturday. Just one moment with the most beautiful girl the world has ever known would make you do it again in a heartbeat. 
“There, that should be good,” Wanda says, snapping you out of your thoughts. 
You laugh slightly. “You mean my non-existent injury healed already?”
Wanda slaps your arm. “I was worried, you idiot. And a thank you would be nice,” she returns as she walks back to her desk. 
“Thank you, Wanda,” you say, leaning back in your chair with a smile, watching her.  
She smiles gratefully as she sits back down in her chair. 
You and Wanda start a small conversation between the two of you for the next few minutes, but unfortunately, your moment with the receptionist is cut short, as the devil himself walks in. 
“Hey, baby,” Vision greets, looking over at you as he walks towards Wanda, limping slightly due to his fall you assume. 
“Hey,” Wanda greets back as she starts to put her stuff away, Vision noticing you and giving you a grin. 
“Look at Larry Bird, over here,” he says, nodding his head over at you. “Larry Legend.” 
“Yeah, she’s, uh, she’s pretty good, huh?” Wanda agrees as she comes around her desk with her arms crossed, staring at you for a moment before grabbing Vision’s arm. 
The two start to walk out together, and you wave goodbye to both of them as a silly smile makes its way onto your face.
part 6
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astrodice · 1 month ago
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What career suites you best based on destiny matrix? (part 1/3)
To find out what career suits you best and what can you do to succeed, we have to look at the number under the dollar sign.
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1 - Magician
People with magician energy are very talented, ambitious and hardworking. They are early satisfied with mediocre results and salary. They always try for more and they have all the right tools to achieve all of their goals. Negative aspect of this energy is that people might lie and use other people to get benefits or they can spend their life wasting their talents by doing nothing.
The most suitable career:
tbh, they can do anything
Challenges that affect career:
laziness, hoping that everything will be figured out by itself
detachment from colleagues, lying
using people, being selfish
2 - High Priestess
People with high priestess energy are highly intuitive and may I say slow (they need more time to come up with a plan). A career that requires making fast decisions is not suitable for those people. On the contrary, they need a job that will allow them to move at a stable measured pace and use their intuition.
The most suitable career:
healer
psychologist, therapist
artist
Challenges that affect career:
avoiding conflicts
being afraid to show off your skills
not being able to make quick decisions
3 - Empress
People with empress energy are definition of "beauty and brains". Such individuals easily identify points of contact with the interests of other people, solve all problems quickly and confidently. Also, since they feel confident around women, it's easy for them to make career in a field focused on women or women's needs.
The most suitable career:
CEO
medical worker
florist
beauty industry worker
Challenges that affect career:
pride, sense of superiority
power abuse
being overly materialistic
irrational spendings/hoarding
4 - Emperor
People with emperor energy are executive, demanding (of themselves and of others) and they quickly gain credibility and respect. Such individuals have every chance to take a high position or open their own business.
The most suitable career:
analyst
accountant
auditor
lawyer
policeman, soldier
CEO
Challenges that affect career:
being controlling, demanding
inability to find compromises
power abuse
5 - Hierophant
People with hierophant energy have high intelligence and excellent memory. They are also charismatic which makes them to be a good speakers, they just know how to make public listen.
The most suitable career:
teacher, professor, coach
analyst
historian, librarian
lawyer
marriage counsellor
medical worker
Challenges that affect career:
being demanding
unwillingness to delegate responsibilities
unwillingness to learn something new
6 - Lovers
People with lovers energy have an eye for seeing pros and cons and can skillfully transform one into the other. The have aesthetically pleasing taste, empathy and good artistic skills.
The most suitable career:
designer
interpreter
artist
psychologist, therapist
marriage counsellor
beauty industry worker
Challenges that affect career:
working in a field that you hate
being overly emotional during decision-making
people-pleasing
imposing your opinion
7 - Chariot
People chariot will succeed in any field where they will be active and hardworking. They are disciplined, good at controlling their emotions, they also have an ability to react quickly and clearly to any change in the situation.
The most suitable career:
traveller, travel-blogger
flight attendant
driver
travel agent
Challenges that affect career:
Inability to rest (workaholism)
lack of goals, incorrect goal setting (goals are too easy or impossible to achieve)
rushed decisions
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thegreatanso · 4 months ago
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Chapter 426 crushed me.
This manga has really been torture porn over (often disabled) abuse victims, children, teenagers and young adults from the start.
I'm really tired of the latent ableism and the pro-prison / retributive justice defended by this manga. It has been like this from the half of the story honestly.
I still had small hopes that the younger heroes would fight for a rehabilitative justice, be more anti-system. But as seen in the last chapters, the author decided otherwise.
A lot of people are following me for DabiHawks content and honestly I think High Time may be my last DabiHawks work ? I will obviously finish the story and I love this alternative reality where they are alive and out of the system.
The character of Hawks in canon is more and more despicable to me, and even if I enjoyed this ship at its best moment (beginning of the Paranormal Liberation Front, before the death of Twice), I feel more and more sad and uncomfortable about creating content of these characters together...
My MHA work has always been Dabi-centric, and I think I will need to draw a lot of League Of Villain art to exorcize the negative vibes this manga left in my heart.
Anyway, these are a lot of words just to say that High Time will probably be my last DabiHawks work. I am deeply disappointed with the treatment of the abused / disabled / criminal characters in MHA (this has been for years honestly). Hawks becoming the head of the Police™ really was my 13th reason.
Take care, it's ok to still enjoy this ship (who am I to blame anyone ???), I think I might still bittersweetly enjoy works about them, but I'm not sure to be personally capable to CREATE about them, for now. I won't delete any of my work or anything 🫶🏻
I'm waiting the end of the manga to book a tattoo session to have Dabi permanently drawn on my skin 🫶🏻💔💖
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