#princess leia’s theme does it every time

[cellamare]

made the mistake of watching the Netflix Avatar trailer and am now teary-eyed from hearing the opening theme

[cross-my-heartt]

I planned to make one big post about Kenobi but I think I'll have to tackle that show bit by bit.

Normally I focus on how they mishandled Obi-Wan, however that show did so much damage to other characters as well. Like Lea for example. A show that was meant to develop and expand on her character fumbled a big part of what made her so great, all in an attempt to replicate a tried-and-failed formula of shaming a deadbeat protagonist out of their depression and I don't think I'll ever forgive them for that.

Because if you look at what they did to Lea for the sake of a contrived plot, it takes away so much from her story. Lea was never meant to be the damsel in distress. Neither was her struggle against the Empire meant to be some kind of response to a scary personal experience she had with the bad guys as a child.

To me, Leia was always meant to be a character raised in power and privilege, who chose to use that power to fight for the defenseless instead of protecting herself. Her position as a princess meant that she could have had a comfortable existence cooperating with the Empire or even getting more privilege in exchange for lending it to them.

Instead she chose to take up the fight. The position we find her in at the beginning of ANH isn't that of a damsel but someone who has repeatedly challenged the Empire and used all the means at her disposal to undermine them, to the point of being unable to escape the repercussions any longer.

What I'm getting at is that Leia always had power and was supposed to be safe from the Empire (because canonically even Palpatine could only do so much against the Senate, as evidenced by the fact that he only dissolved it completely when the DS was complete). But she willingly threw that safety away in order to fight for those who needed it.

Compare that choice to that of someone who has personally suffered at the hands of the Empire and witnessed how corrupt they are as a child. Suddenly it becomes much less impactful.

And do you know who else made the same difficult choice of swapping privilege for justice? Leia's mother. That was the whole point.

Luke grew up defenseless in the desert until the Force gave him the opportunity to shape his own fate, as well as that of the Galaxy, just like his father. Padme grew up a queen and politician who could have ignored the hardships of others for her own sake but chose to wield her privilege to fight for them. (The only time she allowed herself to be selfish, to have something for herself, was in her relationship with Anakin which is another great theme for a separate post.)

Again, that is much more different from someone who has a personal motive for fighting the Empire instead of taking up arms because of other people's suffering. You could argue that show canon Leia could be motivated by both but that's still not as impactful as a personal choice no matter how you look at it.

Another thing the show does to undermine Leia's position of privilege is make her the victim of bullies and put her legitimacy under question. Which is such a superfluous element to begin with in addition to further undermining what I've already talked about. It gives her story more of that 'underdog knows what it's like to be oppressed and fights back' angle that distorts the original purpose of her character.

I know it's hard nowadays to imagine a person of privilege standing up for the underprivileged out of the goodness of their heart. Yet I hate how we stubbornly keep forgetting just how central the idea of hope was to Lucas' stories. We might not see it in our world, in fact we're so allergic to the idea that we've begun to pounce on every seemingly privileged character or group of characters in an attempt to prove that they're somehow corrupt (ie what the Acolyte tried and failed to do with the jedi). But I don't understand why people are content with being so cynical as to erase the legacy of characters like Padme, Bail, Leia, Chuchi and even the jedi order.

Yes, you can have characters in power who fight for the right things. Because you can have anything you want in a story about hope which is meant to teach you something.

In summary, I prefer a Leia who didn't have a firsthand negative experience with the Empire. I much rather one who empathized with the people the Empire oppressed, slowly adopted her father's values and mission of her own accord and in doing so unwittingly followed in her mother's footsteps. At the end of the day, that's a far more meaningful character to me.

[knightotoc]

The only Jedi who's ever gone to the Outer Rim and caused more good than harm is Kerra Holt. In chronological order:

- Tom Veitch foretold the trend (as he foretold everything) when he had City Boy On His First Mission Ulic Qel-Droma try to rescue the princess on Onderon (not technically Outer Rim in current canon but whatever), only to completely misinterpret the situation since the princess was getting kidnapped on purpose to marry her love. Ever since then every Core World Jedi going to the Outer Rim has also misinterpreted the situation and/or not assessed the needs of the people they are trying to help, leading to some dreadful cosmic tragedy. In Ulic's case, this small mistake was soon resolved, but in the back-and-forth of wars that resulted from this mission Ulic fell to the Sith and killed a ton of people, ending with a weak ass redemption of mansplaining forgiveness to a catgirl

- Nomi Sunrider stopped the Sith by... burning down a rainforest

- Revan (or as I like to call them, knock off Ulic Qel-Droma) did stop the Mandalorian takeover out there, but only after falling to the Dark Side themself. And what's worse, they took Malak with them. Half the time they clean up their mess, the other half they make it worse, and either way they go further into the galaxy -- bad idea!

- the Jedi Exile blowed up a planet out there. At least they felt sorry about it

- idk SWTOR 😅

- GOAT Kerra Holt goes to the Outer Rim for a specific purpose (free the people from the Sith governments) and works her butt off to accomplish this, even putting a stop to corrupt drug running from the unhelpful Republic. I have a theory that the only reason future Jedi don't learn from her is (not bc she got written just before the Disney merger but) bc she was never able to return home to Coruscant and teach the others :(

- reading The High Republic rn, and this seems to be the main theme of the series, or at least my main takeaway. In the main storyline, the Republic (+ Jedi) build Starlight Beacon for no specific purpose and do not set up any kind of infrastructure to allow the local people to actually reap its benefits. My man Tia Toon calls them out and nobody listens to him except me. Unconvincing post-9/11 villains the Nihil destroy the Beacon, which falls into a local planet and kills a ton of people. Of course the Jedi had good intentions, but so did Ulic, Revan, and the Exile

- in the side storyline, Cohmac Vitus tries to cleanse some evil artifacts and ends up unleashing the Drengir (aka, sanitized Yuuzhan Vong)! This is what inspired me to write this post bc I just read this, and wtf man! It's such a clear example of "don't mess with the dark side if you refuse to study it." This situation really was fine until the Jedi tried to help! He does feel sorry about it too, I wonder of he's gonna turn evil from guilt

- most famously Qui Gon went into the Outer Rim incidentally to his political mission, saved Anakin while he was there with an elaborate Ben Hur reference, but did not save his mom or consider the affects on the community not to mention the boy, which ultimately lead to Darth Vader

- anakin sand ppl

- you'd think Luke and Leia going to Tatooine and killing Jabba would make things better, but according to the Mando TV show everything is still pretty fucked over there

- I guess Rey caused more good than harm by going to Exegol and killing poor old palpatine; it is sad that Kylo had to die, but she forgot him so ig we should too lol

[hanleiacelebration]

Han/Leia Appreciation Week 2022

Han/Leia Appreciation Week is an event originally hosted at @han-leia-solo between 2016-2019. After checking in with their mods, we decided that the team of @hanleiacelebration​ could host it here this time. With the release of Beth Revis’ book “The Princess and the Scoundrel” on August 16th, we thought it would be fun to bring this back in time to celebrate this new story about Han and Leia’s wedding!

💗 How does the Han/Leia Appreciation Week work?

The event will run from August 8th to August 14th, and there will be a different prompt each day that creators can fulfill with: fanfic, fanart, gifsets, graphics, fanvids, headcanons, crafts, playlists, rec lists. You’re encouraged to tag your posts with #hanleiaweek2022!

You can show your appreciation in many ways; however, please keep in mind that it has to be a creation of yours of some sort, e.g. don’t repost other people’s fanart, gifs, or unedited pictures. Rec lists should include a link to the original source both for fanfic and fanart (more on this after the cut).

You can participate every single day, one day, or for the amount of prompts you want! If you’re not able to post on the same day for a prompt, you’re still encouraged to share it through the week—just don’t post works for a certain prompt before the day corresponding to that prompt.

💗 Vote for the prompts!

We’ve put up a poll with prompts taken from the past editions of Han/Leia Appreciation Week. If you're interested in participating, please vote for the prompts you’d like to see included! The mods will make a selection and the final list will be shared in time for you to start creating.

Voting will be open from July 16th to the 22nd, and the list will be shared on July 23rd so everyone has plenty of time to work on their entries.

💫 👉 VOTE HERE 👈 💫

FAQs and Rules under the cut - please read!

💗 Can I post my work to another site and share the link on Tumblr?

Yes! This is a good option for people who might want to create explicit art that could be taken down on Tumblr, people who might want to write a long fic or multichapter, and people who want to make videos or playlists.

💗 Does it have to be a new creation? Can I finish and post a WIP?

It has to be something that has never been posted anywhere else before, so finishing and sharing a WIP is okay! If it doesn’t fit any of the prompts, you can share it on Free Day.

💗 Is this event open to all ratings?

Yes! Just remember to use a “Read more” cut if you’re posting the whole work on Tumblr, and to add a note if your work is rated Mature or Explicit, as well as if it has any major trigger warnings, so all folks can safely browse through the entries.

💗 Are there any length or quality requirements?

There’s no min. or max. length for fanfic or quality level for art. For gifsets, there’s a minimum of two gifs (that must be made by you!). For playlists, there’s a minimum of five songs. For rec lists of fic or art, there’s also a minimum of five recs. Some more questions you might have about rec lists:

- How do I share art without posting a picture? You might post a thumbnail that crops a preview of the piece; if the piece has a title, you might use that; you might describe it; or you might say something like “this piece by [artist]”

- What if I found a fanart on Google? Try to find the original source using reverse search image.

- What if I can’t still find it, can I just say “credit to the artist”? In that case, please just don’t share the piece.

- What if I know the artist but don’t have a link to the original source? Listing the artist and linking back to where you found it is okay, in that case.

💗 Is the event based on the new book?

Not really! There will be a couple of general prompts related to the theme of the book, but that’s all. You don’t need to include or acknowledge it in any way in your creations, although you’re welcome to. We’re obviously excited about the book, but we understand not everyone might be.

💠 💠 💠

Do you have any other questions? Don’t hesitate to send us an ask or to message one of the mods: @lajulie24 @hanorganaas and @otterandterrier

We can’t wait to see what you all create!

[countesspetofi]

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags!

Thank you @celestial-alignment for tagging me to share my 10 favorite characters from 10 different fandoms!

(Favorites subject to change without warning, void where prohibited. I'm just proud of myself for finally actually completing a tag post. I had a hard enough time narrowing down the fandoms!)

LET THE PARADE OF BLORBOS COMMENCE

Star Wars: Princess Leia Organa

The original galactic girlboss. She is beauty, she is grace, she will shoot you in the face, and kick your ass to outer space. She fights hard because she loves hard. She doesn't know who we are or where we came from, but from now on, we do as she tells us.

Star Trek: Commander Deanna Troi

Patron saint of situational disability. Does a thankless job and does it well. If she makes you uncomfortable it’s probably for your own good. (Just like Mom, but don’t let her hear you say that.) Hair goals.

Batman ’66: Batman

The Bright Knight. The man himself. He’s a weirdo and he leans into it. Pulled off a conference call with Jim Gordon and Bruce Wayne. Has his own dance craze and a killer theme song.

Night Court: Judge Harry Stone

Has every right to be sad and bitter, chooses laughter instead. Will drag you kicking and screaming out of your own bad mood. Turns down the lights and plays Mel Tormé for lesbians. 

Babylon 5: Lennier of the Third Fane of Chudomo

To right the unrightable wrong, and to love pure and chaste from afar, this is his quest to follow that star. Sweet boy who came to a bad end.

Dark Shadows (Original Series): Jenny Collins

If you read Jane Eyre and stanned the mad wife in the attic, Jenny’s your girl. I know if I married a Victorian cad who ran off to Egypt with his brother’s wife, MY big sister would turn him into a werewolf, too. Trivia: I once played the Third Witch in Macbeth by just pretending to be Jenny Collins.

The Vampire Chronicles: Louis de Pointe du Lac

Bit of a Gloomy Gus? Sure. Brings the room down sometimes? It’s a fair cop. But boy, can this dude weave a story. The author might have switched her allegiance to the bad boy, but the first book is what drew people in and it’s all Louis and his Byronic brooding. (Using an image from the 1994 film adaptation, but it’s more about the books for me.)

Our Flag Means Death: Lucius Spriggs

Reminds me of my oldest friend, who I met in junior high school. Sometimes you just need a friend to tell you you're going to end up another leather-clad, middle-aged sad sack dying alone in a puddle of your own piss, so hang onto him.

The Muppets: Forgetful Jones

You’re spoiled for choice with this bunch, right? But ol’ Forgetful was my first love, consarn it. Miss you, Richard Hunt. I had more to say, but… I FORGOT!

Forever Knight: Nick Knight/Nicolas de Brabant

With the face of a fallen angel and the blackest silk pajamas in the Greater Toronto Area, our vampire himbo prince was the best undead Canadian homicide cop of the late twentieth century. Being cute covers a multitude of sins

ETA: How the hell did I miscount? I’ve been working on this forever! I bumped Miss Parker, so she might come and kill me..

I tried to come up with a fancy system for randomly selecting blogs to tag, but it didn't go so well, so I just picked the first ten blogs I instantly recognized from my followers list (which is sorted however tumblr sorts these things). If you're tagged and don’t want to do it (or have already done it), that is cool! If you're not tagged and do want to do it, that may even be slightly cooler.

@ilovemesomevincentprice @tunglo @agent-troi @oysterloaf @dunkaroosandglitter @megalokalypse @gooosetooth @rose-of-pollux @righteousnerd​ @gaslightgallows​

[twodragonsflying]

Star Wars Characters at Disney World

Clone Wars Era Friends

Anakin and Padmé bring their kids to Disney world on a family vacation. Padmé is the type of mom that has their days planned out perfectly and Anakin just goes along with it. He does almost get into a few fights with people who cut in line but Padmé is able to calm him down.

Assuming this is a situation where the characters were plucked out of their own alternate reality and put into an alternate reality of ours, They have to keep him as far away from the Star Wars parts as possible or else he would pick fights with Kylo Ren and Darth Vader. Because him and his family turn to the Darkside? That’s crazy why would these people accuse him of that? (No that doesn’t make sense, but it’s funny.)

Luke and Leia probably argue on where they want to go and what they want to do. Luke is more interested in meeting characters where is Leia is more interested in riding rides but Padmé works it out for the both of them.

Anakin and Padmé definitely wear those matching bride and groom Mickey and Minnie ears at some point cause that’s adorable and of course they would.

Of course, I have not yet mentioned that Ahsoka, Rex, Cody, and Obi-Wan joined them on this trip. For the most part they’re in their own little group because big groups tend to make things more complicated. Sometimes they hand the kids off to each other.

Ahsoka wants to ride the biggest rides there are and Rex goes with her even though there are different things he’d like to do. It’s more about spending time with family to him.

Obi-Wan would have a lot of fun at the epcot wine and food festival. Makes sense, considering he’s had to deal with Anakin for half his life. Cody is just there to supervise him and everyone else.

Anakin and Ahsoka do join up one day to be absolute nightmares together. They don’t get kicked out of the park, but that’s not to say they didn’t come close.

BobaVader

(Set in an alternate universe from the first one lol)

Vader and Boba go together to get away. Darth Vader of course is unable to wear anything other than his suit. So through Disney World you see this big cyborg with a breathing problem wearing Ahsoka themed Minnie Mouse ears holding hands with a fairly normal, but also weirdly familiar looking guy. They are of course accompanied by two stormtroopers.

Vader just wants to ride the dumbos and the haunted mansion. Boba Fett wants to ride space mountain until he passes out. They work it out.

Vader also really really enjoys talking to the princesses. They’re just so nice and non-judgmental. Like he knows that’s their job, but it’s a breath of fresh air.

They have a good time, Boba has the foresight to keep a Vader as far away from it’s a small world as possible

Thranto

(this one could be set in either of the above universe is and it’s funny either way.)

Thrawn is the most annoying person at Disney World. He walks through the entire park, goes through every single one of the cues for every single one of the rides and character meet and greets and shows. And the entire time he’s there just looks at tiny details and evaluates the art. He also has very in-depth lectures or discussions that keep the cast members, both character actors and otherwise, very confused. There comes a point where Eli is genuinely starting to worry that Thrawn is preparing a preemptive strike against Disney.

“Oh don’t worry Eli I’m simply interested in all of the little details that go into making this “the most magical place on Earth” as they say.”

“Normally when you care about small details like that it means that you’re going to declare war against them.”

“Nonsense, why would I declare war against Disney World?”

“WHY WOULD YOU BE HAPPY WHEN SMALL WORLD BREAKS DOWN WITH YOU ON IT?!?!”

Oh yeah, about that. When they were on it’s a small world it broke down. And Thrawn enjoyed that like a crazy person. Eli was trying very hard to ram his head into Thrawn’s shoulder the entire time.

But for the most part it was pretty fun. Thrawn had the best time at galaxy’s edge. After all, he had been to black spire outpost before and the detail that they put into the park made it look exactly like the real thing. It was just like being back there without the hostility. And he tried to have a deep and intellectual conversation with Kylo Ren but quickly realized that that wasn’t going to work out. (Actually truth be told I’m pretty sure he freaked out the cast member because he figured out personal details about him that he shouldn’t have been able to figure out)

Depending on the universe, either Anakin or Vader is there at the same time. If it’s a Anakin, they stop and talk for a while and grab lunch together. If it’s Vader they pretend they do not see.

DinLuke and Family

(Set in an entirely different universe.)

Luke has Disney bounds and bucket hats galore. The entire family does actually because he got them all matching bucket hats. Han pouts about that. Ben looses his.

Grogu is very spoiled. He has his little ears sticking out the sides of the hat. He gets snacks all over the parks. And just imagine with me for a second him in a stroller. And if he’s not in the stroller he’s chasing the ducks around. The Princesses adore him so much, who wouldn’t. They are essentially that little picture perfect family going to Disney World.

And then there’s Han, Chewie, Leia, and Ben. Leia is also very organized but Han and Chewie sneak away from her several times, sometimes they bring the kid, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they bring the kid and then pass him off to Din and Luke. When that happens, Luke calls Leia immediately to make sure she knows where her child is.

Leia, when not stressed out about her unruly child and Ben, has diplomatic conversations with the princesses.

Ben has fun no matter who he’s with. He loves the Pirates of the Caribbean and Jungle cruise. He was very upset to find out that he was too short to ride Space Mountain. But he was able to ride mission space and soarin’, those are fun. When he and Grogu are together they terrorize all those who come in contact with them.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Stark Spangled Challenge: Bumps In The Night

Summary- 5.3k Steve Rogers x OC Katie (Stark) Rogers. Its Halloween Night! and the Roger Clan is busy getting ready for the night ahead. Once Steve and Katie have some time to themselves for more adult themed fun, there are some interruptions that might set them back. All a part of life in the Rogers Household though. Set in What-is-your-plan-today’s SSB Verse. Warnings- Hinted smut. Its really mostly fluffy fun for these two. Might be a curse word or two, cause lets face it, its who I am. Moodboard made by @what-is-your-backupplan-today​ and the lovely dividers made by @firefly-graphics​

A/N- Congrats on your one year anniversary @what-is-your-backupplan-today​. I know this year has had its moments, but I am eternally grateful I have gotten to know you this past year, and that you shared some beautiful stories with us, full of laughter, awww, and tears. (You know the moments I am talking about.) Thank you for letting me also dabble a bit in your OC’s lives, I think this is number 3? Also for basically just bullshitting random stuff in your inbox every week. It was a great challenge, a hell of a lot of fun. And as always sending you all the Love Babes. 💙  

Be sure to read the follow up to this by @what-is-your-backupplan-today​ called Stark Spangled Forever: The Devil Wears Nada 

Steve Roger’s Masterlist

Steve stabbed at the top of the pumpkin and cut around the top till he could pry it off, handing the pumpkin over to Jamie, who immediately started scooping out the seeds and innards, shaking his fingers a bit to shake off the sticky bites. Katie sat at the other end of the newspaper-covered table, wrinkling her nose. “I’m so glad this is your father’s holiday.” Flossie reached to grab a handful, and Katie scooped it over so the baby could squash it between her fingers. 

Rori nearby, who was told she could paint her pumpkin instead, leaned to dip her brush into the hot pink and then swirled it around her pumpkin with the tip of her tongue sticking out in concentration. “But it’s fun Mommy. In going to paint spiders all over for Auntie Nat Nat.” 

Harry gave a firm nod as he covered his pumpkin in hulk green color. “Yes mommy, fun. Hulk Smash!” He tossed his brush aside and started to use his fingers and hands, slapping green handprints all over it till it was covered. Soon his face was streaked with green and he looked beyond proud of himself. 

“Alright kids, you all know Christmas is your mom’s specialty.” Steve started to cut another pumpkin when Emmy came in, dropping her bag in an empty chair and rolling up her sleeves. 

“Moms christmas’s are the best.” She dropped a passing kiss to Flossie’s head, and then picked up a knife Steve had nearby, ready to take the pumpkin Steve was cutting the top off of. “But Dad’s pumpkins are really awesome.” 

“Thanks, Em.” Steve’s face flushed a bit at the compliment while he took the last pumpkin and opened it up, scooping out the innards just as Jamie started to finish his. Tilting it around, he looked at his mother. 

“Which side should I carve? I’m going to do a scary face this time.” He twisted his pumpkin back and forth, Katie studied it a moment and made a twirly motion with her hands. 

“Back that way, Yea. Looks flatter.” Jamie nodded and grabbed a sharpie, drawing a Jack-o-Lantern face on the pumpkin. “And your dad’s pumpkin’s do always look good on the front stoop. Why he does the pumpkins, and I take the pictures.” Moving to a stand, she patted a fussy Flossies back and took her to show her Rori’s and Harry’s wildly painted pumpkins. 

Emmy scooped out some more of the pumpkin guts and scrapped it all clean with a spoon. “Well I was actually going to ask you and Dad, how would you two feel about Peter and I took everyone trick or treating this year? It will be a warm evening, and Flossie always sleeps while being strolled around. You two could have an evening to yourselves, hand out some candy to kids, and spend time together.” The way she said it, Steve and Katie both knew she had given this some thought. When Steve looked over at Katie with a questioning look she gave a slight shrug and nod. 

“You sure you and Peter can watch over four kids?” Katie asked, slightly rocking Flossie back and forth. “Flossie can stay with us, she’s on a schedule, but I’m sure the other three would love to trick or treat with you and Peter.” 

Emmy gave a nod and plunged her knife into the face of the pumpkin. “I will message Peter and let him know, this was actually his suggestion. He was really excited when he mentioned it to me.” 

Steve gave a slight snort as he started carving. “And who are you two going as?” 

She grinned as she cut the grinning mouth and handed it to Flossie to inspect, who shoved the hard piece in her mouth to gnaw on, making a funny face at the taste. “We’re going as Han Solo and Princess Leia Dad. Pete’s a Star Wars fan.” 

“Course he is. Tony would have been thrilled to see Peter as Han Solo.” Steve turned his pumpkin to show Katie, who grinned as she leaned against Steve’s shoulder for a moment to look at his work. 

“He would have loved it and never let you live it down that you carved him a pumpkin.” She said softly, and Steve kissed her forehead. 

“Why I carved it.” Sitting on the pumpkin, was a carving of Ironman, Katie rubbed her face against his shoulder a second to collect herself. Memories of her brother still snuck up once in a while, but there were so many good memories that she didn’t mind. 

“It’s nice to see him still a part of the holidays. And this…” she pulled out her phone to take a picture to send to Pepper. “Makes me start to like fall a little more?” 

Steve gave a shrug, a bit of pink rising in his cheeks at how pleased Katie really did seem with it. “Jamie’s old iron man always ends up on the Christmas tree, and we started doing that sponsor a turkey in Tony’s name…” He drifted off, Katie giving a bit of a laugh. They always bought a turkey to be rescued, naming him Marv, it just seemed a fitting memory for Tony. 

It was starting to get dark. Katie was helping Rori dress in her outfit, giving a slight sigh and grin at her daughter’s antics as she stood in the mirror, inspecting her mother’s artistic skills. “I need more whiskers mom. Cats have more whiskers.” Katie leaned down again with the costume makeup kit. Using the black pencil, she etched two more on each of her cheeks and pointed to the mirror. 

“Okay how’s that Princess?” she asked, trying not to be sarcastic as Rori leaned in and stuck her ears on. 

“Perfect! Let’s go get Jamie and Harry, I want my candy.” She grabbed her trick or treat bag and marched out of the room, a girl on a mission. Katie followed to hear Steve talking to Jamie. 

“Okay, I’m trusting you to help Peter and Emmy look after Rori and Henry.” 

“Yes, dad I will, okay? I know I know.” 

“Sorry sorry, remember to have fun.” There was a rustling when Jamie scoffed and when Rori just slammed the door open and marched in like she was on her very own catwalk, you could see Steve holding a dinosaur Harry who took one look at his mother and held his hands out for her, which Steve passed over, and Jamie was straightening a wig he had on, having painted his face green, between him and Steve, they somehow managed to glue knobs on the side of his neck. Katie looked over her kids and gave a nod of approval. 

“Oooh, you all are spooky.” She shivered and Harry laughed in her arms giving a roaring sound. When Katie gave a fake scream, the little boy broke down in laughter, half hanging out of her arms. 

Rori started twirling around on her toes, showing off her costume. “What do you think, Daddy?” She sang and Jamie gave a smirk. 

“Don’t you know Stark chases cats up trees?” Jamie started teasing, and Rori stuck her tongue out at him. 

“Cats rule and dogs drool Jamie!” she retorted, and Jamie opened his mouth to say something when Steve cut them both off with a stern tone. 

“Cut it out you two or Emmy and Peter will just be taking Harry out. Rori lets see that spin again.” 

Both kids’ mouths snapped shut because they didn’t want to lose the privilege, Rori gave one more spin and gave her painted nose a wriggle. 

“Look just like a Halloween kitty Rori.” Steve smiled at her, Jamie quick to pipe up. 

“Year Rori, you look really cool.” 

Katie chuckled at their quickly changing attitudes and set her dinosaur down, who clamped right on Steve’s leg, looking up at his daddy giving a squeaky roar. 

“Oh! There’s a Trex on my leg!” Steve yelped and picked him back up, handing Harry his own trick or treat bag. “Okay, my Youngin’s, down to the living room to wait for Princess Leia and that boy.” 

“Han Solo Steve.” Katie rolled her eyes at him in passing, checking on Flossie who wriggled happily in her pack and play. “You hungry Little Girl?” She collected her and went into the living room with everyone else to wait, she had settled on the couch and was feeding Flossie while the kids all sat around watching Halloween Town when Emmy announced they were there. Steve pushed up from the couch to go greet them, all three kids rushing to follow him. Katie finished feeding first and turned her to her shoulder to burp her. Going out, she saw Emmy showing her costume to Steve, and Peter shuffling a bit in just Steve’s presence. But visibly relaxed once Katie had come out. 

“How do you think we came out Mom?” Emmy pressed in against Peter and hugged her arm around his waist, which he returned the gesture. 

“You two look great! Love the characters you two chose.” Katie genuinely praised and Rori swung her bag. 

“Can we go now?!” she whined and this time Katie gave her a reprimanding stare. 

“As soon as we are done talking to your sister and Peter. Patience Rori. And I want some pictures of all of you on the porch with the pumpkins.” Of course Rori perked up hearing that. 

“Can I wear my princess tiara?” 

“Yup, go upstairs and get it, we will take pictures afterward.” Katie smiled at her, and the little girl sprinted towards the stairs. Jamie was just about to say something when he caught sight of his father’s face clearly telling him to zip it. 

“I will be outside with Stark.” the boy patted his thigh, the dog pushing up from his bed and together they went out into the yard. Stark raced forward, diving right into a huge pile of leaves Steve had raked that morning, making Jamie laugh as the dogs head reappeared, half scattering the pile in his bounds back out to reach his boy for praises and head scritches. Steve, having watched all of this just shook his head with a chuckle before turning back to his oldest and her boyfriend.

With just the four of them left now, Steve remarked to both Emmy and Peter. “They are very excited, don’t let them run you over though.” 

Emmy shook her head with a smile. “Rori and Jamie? They won’t be an issue.” 

Peter was currently squatted down with Henry, playing a game with the little dinosaur. “They are always really awesome with us Mr.Rogers, I don’t see there being any problems. And were just staying in the neighborhood.” 

Emmy gave Steve a ‘See Dad, he’s responsible’ look, which Katie hid a smirk against the top of Flossie’s head, giving a gentle kiss. Steve gave a look of defeat, Peter was really good with all the little ones whenever he was over. 

“How about we head out to the porch? I hear Rori coming back down the stairs.” Katie suggested while sure enough, one black cat with a shimmering tiara bounded around the corner, throwing her hands up in the air. “Ready for my pictures!” 

Once pictures were done, Steve and Katie reminding everyone to behave for Emmy and Peter, they stood on the porch together waving. Katie leaned into Steve’s side, watching him closely as he kept an eye on the group till they were out of sight. 

“You all good Soldier?” she asked, and he glanced down in surprise, a smile forming on his face. 

“Yes, just weird not to be with them.” His hand rubbed down Katies back. “But we got the next couple hours to ourselves, how about we make it like old times? Except I will order us some take out. You go enjoy a bath while I put Flossie down, and we will watch a movie?” 

Heading back inside where it was warmer, Katie nodded, and handed Flossie over to Steve. “I think that’s a great idea, Steve. Is this pre or post dating old times?” 

“Post, cause fooling around on the couch is permitted. Italian or Chinese tonight?” 

Already Katie was reaching up to her ponytail and removing it. “Italian, get that penne arabiata, get extra garlic knots to.” She went to tiptoes and kissed his cheek before heading up the stairs to go pamper herself. Steve was already pulling out his phone to pull up their favorite takeout number when the doorbell rang. Looking out to see a group of trick or treaters, he set Flossie down in her pack and play, grabbing the bowl of candy they had set up earlier next to his pineapple bowl, and opened the door to the chorus of kids. 

“Trick or Treat!” the group sang out and bags were held up with expectations of candy to go flying in. Which Steve did, fistfuls of candy tossed in, praising each costume he saw, a cowboy, an alien, princess, and then a teeny tiny little Captain America stepped up, holding his bag up towards Steve. Steve might have given him a bit extra.

Finishing getting the order placed, sure not to forget the extra garlic knots, Steve gave Flossie a quick bath in the sink just to clean her up, and wrapped in a towel, he carried his sleepy daughter upstairs to put her down. So far they have been lucky with her, not too fussy lately, as soon as he laid her down, she settled right in. He poked his head in momentarily to check on Katie, who looked so relaxed in all the bubbles, that he eased away and back down the stairs. 

Steve set about opening a bottle of wine, and he went through the tv selections till he found one of Katie’s favorite movies. 

He never cared for the scary movies, so Stephen King wasn’t necessarily one of his favorite artists. But the first time she had him watch The Green Mile, he really enjoyed it, which thrilled Katie seeing how much she loved. And the film, well it had a special meaning just for the two of them. 

Get busy living, or get busy dying. 

Yup, this would be the movie tonight, and as he finished setting it up, the doorbell rang. Digging out his wallet, he gave the delivery kid a nice tip and started to take the food out as Katie made her way down the stairs. Hair braided down the back, loose sleep tank and fuzzy warm plaid sleep pants. Her nose was lifted with appreciation, and she danced over to the counter, opening the bag immediately of garlic knots. “Steve, you’re the best for not forgetting the knots.” Immediately she ripped into one of the buttery rolls and popped the piece into her mouth. 

“Would you like a glass of wine with that?” He asked, already knowing the answer, and started pouring. 

“Mmhh, a man who knows the way to my heart.” She took the glass and sipped before going to grab plates and forks to serve them up. 

“I hope after all this time I do.” Steve chuckled, grabbing things like napkins, the bottle of wine, a beer for himself and Katie’s garlic knots. She brought the plates with her to set them down on the coffee table before falling onto the couch. “Flossie all tucked in?” 

“Passed out as soon as she laid her down. I think today’s activities tired her out.” He pulled the baby monitor from his pocket, turning on the screen to see Flossie had already shifted in her sleep, but still out of it. He set it up on the coffee table so they both could check in on her on occasion. Katie glanced to the tv screen as she got comfy on the couch. 

“Ahhh, one of the best.” She cuddled up next to Steve, feet tucked up and her plate balancing on her thigh. 

“Well this is as spooky as I like getting with movies.” Steve admitted while hitting play, and Katie chuckled, looking up at her husband while she took her first bite of pasta. 

“Yea, you don’t seem like a ��Scream’ kind of guy.” 

He smirked while sipping from a bottle of beer, his blue eyes glinting at the innuendo that fell from him next. “Only Scream I want to hear is you saying my name.” 

Katie rolled her eyes at him with a laugh, shaking her head while stabbing her fork into her penne. “You might get lucky and have that happen later. Maybe. Start the damn movie Soldier.” 

A wiggle of Steve’s eyebrows teased further while he hit play, and they both ate in silence for the most part, Katie giving up first and setting her plate back on the coffee table, sipping from her wine and settling back in against Steve. 

Katies arm went around the back of Steve’s neck, letting her fingers tangle in the short hairs, and then her fingers trailed along his chain, seeking out a tense muscle at the back of his neck and rubbing her fingertips over it. It felt good, enough for Steve to close his eyes, tilt his head forward and enjoy the sensation that it caused to ripple along his back. “Mmmhh, right there Baby.” Digging in deeper, she shifted, pressing in closer, and watching as Steve’s face twisted a bit with pleasure at the way her fingers were working the muscles. 

“You know Steve, it’s going to be a while before the kids get home and Flossie will be down for a while.” That caught her husband’s attention, his eyes opening back up to look at her as she licked her lips, and catching the bottom with her teeth. 

“We should really take advantage.” Steve started as he shifted a bit to offer more of his lap. “Come here Doll.” He grasped her hips and shifted Katie easily into his hold, a soft squeal of delight coming from her.

Katie was straddled in his lap, fingers moving to twist in his hair and large firm hands pressed against her back to pull her in closer, any words were lost between exploring lips, and soft sighs shared. This was familiar to both of them, fingers exploring, nudging of noses against the other to draw back into hungry kisses. As familiar as it was, it was exciting, Katie starting to rock herself in Steve’s lap, and his pants grew achingly tight the more his wife grinded herself in his lap. 

“You’re going to drive me crazy.” he groaned into her neck where he was chaining kisses down, and Katie bit on his earlobe, sucking it to flick her tongue against the sensitive spot, moving enough to trace the shell of his ear with soft lips and heated words. 

“That is the goal Captain.” a husky tone drove her point home, and Steve with his arm wrapped around her tightly, shifted the two of them till his larger frame pressed her into the couch. 

“How much time till everyone gets home?” Steve asked as he drew up Katies tank top, flushing kisses along her collarbone and tugging it over her head to discard nearby. Grabbing his wrist, she twisted his arm enough to look at the time.” 

“It’s just after seven now, so maybe forty five minutes?” letting go, she looked up at Steve, teeth pulling at her lips as her eyes roamed over his face. “You got time.” Wrapping her hand in his dangling chain, she yanked on it hard enough to draw Steve forward, crashing open mouths together and wrapping her legs around his waist when he lost balance and just about fell on top of her. 

Katie knew she had caught Steve unaware, but he recovered quickly with a grasp to her hips and jerked her up the couch to give himself more room. Katie started to tug up his shirt to get to his shoulders, his chest, when the all familiar chime of the doorbell went off, and both of them froze in place. Steve hovering over Katie, his shirt half dragged off him, Katie arching her lower back to press into him. Both wide eyed at each other when the doorbell went off again, and a chorus of kids sang out “Trick or Treat, smell out feet, give up something good to eat.” 

Katie busted out in a giggle, and peeked over Steve’s shoulder to see the shadows on their porch. Steve dropped his head against her shoulder with a groan, and pushed up off the couch, giving a parting hissing kiss. 

“Don’t go anywhere Doll.” Off the couch and he pulled at his sweatpants to try and hide his semi erection, straightening his shirt. “Give me just a second.” Steve said with a raised voice when he grabbed the candy bowl. This time when he opened the door, there was ninjas, a witch, an angel, and a exhausted looking parent flashing a sorry smile at him. 

“Happy Halloween kids” Steve held out the bowl and insisted each kid take themselves some extra, now kind of looking for an excuse to be able to turn off his porch light for the night. But he didn’t have it in him to do it before they were out of candy. Giving a wave as the kids thanked him, he let the door close and went back to the couch to see Katie half watching the movie. But hearing him approach, she turned her eyes up to him and gave a crook of a finger with a grin. “Where were we Soldier?” 

Steve lowered back down onto the couch, pressing Katie to her back with caging arms, kisses going down from her neck to her shoulders. “Exactly right here.” He rumbled between the brush of his lips along that rush of her pulse. They only had 35 mins now, the thought danced in the back of Steve’s mind while his hands rubbed along her sides, then dipped his fingers into her soft comfy pajama bottoms to rub at her core through her panties, making her sigh and shift to tighten her legs back around him, her eyes softening to a lust filled haze as she pressed further against his fingers with the soft whimper of need. “Stevie…” Fingers tightening into his shirt and then she tugged at it, this time dragging it off so she could really touch him. That first push of her hands against his chest and down his stomach, it was hard not to control the tensing of his muscles, making Katie bite at her lip as she started to wriggle more, want more. Steve caught her lips with his as his hand withdrew, going to fold fingers into her bottoms and pull them off when a crash came from the kitchen. 

“What the hell?” His head whipped up and concern crossed his face. Katie tipped her head back to look in their kitchen, but couldn’t see anything. “I better go look.” 

As he got up, Katie twisted back to sit up and grabbed the baby monitor to check, and see Flossie still sleeping peacefully through the loud bang. Katie moved to grab her tank and tugged it on, as well as collect their empty plates, and called out. “Steve? Is everything okay?” 

Steve walked in a bit cautious, looking around to see nothing looked out of place. A frown crossed his face as his eyes searched the darker areas of the kitchen, his hand sliding along the wall to find the light switch and flicked it on. That’s when he heard something shuffling against the floor just out of sight behind the kitchen island. Going around it, there he found Stark with one of the pasta containers, chasing it around as he licked the sauce out of it. Katies voice rang out questioning, and he scowled at the dog, his hands falling to his hips. “It’s okay Katie, just Stark.” Turning his attention back to Stark who seemed to realize Steve was there, and he lifted his head from the take out box with a wag of his tail. “Yea, buddy you kinda just blocked me.” he sighed as he reached down to grab the box and scowled at him. “And when do you counter surf?” Stark just stared at him, then leaned forward to attempt to swipe his tongue against Steve’s face, but the man yanked back in time, shaking his head. “Nuh uh Stark, that isn’t going to fix it, i’m mad at you.” Moving to straighten, Katie came in with empty plates and opened the door to the dishwasher to put them away. 

“So what was it?” her eyes scanning around the room, Stark looking innocent between them and Steve stuffing the empty containers into the garbage. “Was it Stark?” Katies eyes narrowed at the innocent face while closing the dishwasher. 

Steve gave a nod. “But my fault, I left the take out boxes on the edge of the counter.” Why was he defending Stark? Well he did have a soft spot for the mutt. “Any why didn’t you wait on the couch?” This time he crowded her into the counter to lift her to perch on the edge, Katie looking at Steve with an arch of her brow as her hands seemed to have a life of their own, sliding palms over his chest, scratching lightly. “Because now we’re at 25 minutes before Emmy walks through that door with three exhausted kids, and we have to get them in the bath and bed. While keeping them away from the candy.” 

“You know I like a challenge.” Steve drew her in closer around him, making Katie giggle as they resumed their teasing from earlier. 

“You really think you can do all you want to do, and have me presentable for the family.” she locked her legs back around him and grinded herself against him. 

“Doll, you really doubt me?” Steve grinned a bit, cupping the back of her neck and tilting to kiss her breathless, once more the two of them playing a game of pull and push, bodies flushing against each other, and just about to take it to the next step. Steve grasping Katies clenching thighs around his waist when a cry emitted from above them, and next to them. The baby monitor was just seconds behind Flossies cries above them, and together they stilled, Katies forehead leaning against Steves as she drew in a frustrated breath. 

“She’s hungry, it’s her feeding time.” Breathing that out, Katie cupped Steve’s face and gave just a affectionate kiss, her emeralds shimmering with a hint of amusement. “We were not even close.” 

Taking a step back, Steve shook his head, lifting Katie off the counter. “I will go get her and bring her down Doll.” He offered, Katie giving a nod while she decided to make her a bottle this time. 

Upstairs Steve saw a fussing Flossie, little fists waving and big eyes filled with tears. Steve shushed Flossie a bit while he picked her up, pulling her into his shoulder where he felt his littlest snuggle with soft cries into his shirt. “Now now baby girl, are all these tears needed?” His hand which covered her entire back made gentle soothing circles as he rocked himself back and forth gently. “Moms downstairs making you a bottle right now.” 

Reaching for a soft blanket and draped it over his free shoulder while leaving the room. He was quick to go down the stairs, and back into the kitchen to check on Katie’s progress. Looking over her shoulder, Katies gaze softened seeing the two of them, and she tilted her head to look at Flossie who quieted once she saw her mother. “Did you tell Daddy that yes, all those tears were needed?” glancing up at Steve while she grabbed the bottle, he gave a confused look at how she knew what he had said, she nodded towards the baby monitor. “Heard you talking to her earlier.” Brushing past him, Katie got comfy in there makeout spot earlier, holding her arms out for Flossie. Earlier frustrations were gone as she pulled the baby into her arms, kissing the silky soft baby head while she offered the bottle. Eagerly, Flossie sucked on the bottle’s nipple, her eyes crinkling in the corner in happiness. Steve watched a moment before the doorbell rang once more. Dropping a kiss to the top of Katies head, he went to the door, automatically grabbing the candy bowl off the table and opening it. This time he was met with a black tiara wearing cat, one dinosaur, one frankenstein, a han solo and princess leia. Then behind them was one Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson grinning like idiots. “Trick or Treat!” 

Steve held onto his bowl and smirked at his kids. “Well aren’t these just the coolest costumes of the night… I suppose you all want some candy and head on home?” 

Jamie grinned and held out his almost overflowing bag, Rori marched past her father, and announced she was home with a loud “Mom! I got so much candy, and everyone loved my costume.” Bucky and Sam went around the two younger adults holding the dinosaur, Bucky grabbing the bowl from Steve’s hand. 

“Happy Halloween Schmaptain Schmerica. Damn Wilson, they have the good candy.” Bucky started picking through it, and Sam grabbed the bowl from his hands. “Hey!” 

“Let’s see what you call good, you old fart. If you’re talking about licorice, you’re certifiable.” 

Their voices drifted off as they went into the living room. Peter and Emmy came in next, in which Emmy grabbed her car keys out of the pineapple bowl. “Peter and I got invited to a party after we finished up. So I won’t be home till late Dad. The kids were great, no problems at all. I’m just going to go say goodnight to Mom.” Taking Peter’s hand, she pulled him into the living room, Henry hanging on her hip. Steve decided to step outside for a moment, take in a breath of fresh air, clear his head. 

It had been an interesting evening to say the least, but Steve wouldn’t have had it any other way thinking back on it as he tipped his head back to admire the night sky, the moon a full one this year casting everything in that eerie glow that just seemed to fit this night. Katie and him had fun together, even with the interruptions, the kids all had a blast as he could hear the laughter coming from behind him, and everyone was back home. 

Well… mostly. But Steve trusted Peter for the most part to take care of Emmy, although he knew she could easily handle herself and had them on speed dial. Speaking of, he could hear Emmy and Peter making their way back out the door,  talking to Katie who was following behind them. She paused at Steve’s side, leaning into his warmth as it got chilly out now. 

“Be safe, and have fun.” Katie finished off what she had been saying and Emmy nodded. 

“Of course, I will be home probably after midnight.” she assured her parents, and Steve pipped up. 

“Need anything just call.” 

“Yes, will do. Bye you guys, love you.” Emmy pulled away with Peter, and soon it was just Katie and Steve on the porch, together they walked off the steps and turned to look at the glowing pumpkins, their candles dying down to flickering flames. Steve’s hand rubbed against her bare arm, the tank top not protecting her much from the cold. “Ready to go back in?” 

“Go back in, collect Flossie from Bucky and Sam, get the other two into showers and one roaring dinosaur into a bath. Put them all down for the night? That sounds like something a task force is needed for.” 

“Yea, that kind of go back in.” Steve chuckled softly, knowing it was gonna be a bit of a fuss getting the excited kids all simmered down with how excited they were. 

“I left Sam and Bucky entertaining to catch a few extra seconds with you before the madness starts.” she twisted into his hold, hugging him and tilting her head back to look up at him. “But, if you’re up for it, I think tonight in bed we should pick up where we left off. Without all the interruptions.” 

“Only if you are still wanting Mrs.Rogers.” Steve assured Katie, who nodded and grinned. 

“Let’s blow out these pumpkins and get started.” Going back towards the house, where a loudly singing Rori and Sam sounded like they were doing a disney duet, Katie and Steve blew out the glowing pumpkins and went back inside to get everyone situated.

[introvertguide]

Star Wars: The Franchise

Back in the mid 70s around Modesto, California, it is doubtful that George Lucas could have imagined that his idea for a space opera would become the second highest grossing movie franchise of all time. There has been some questionable content, however, since the groundbreaking original, and the returns have not been as great. There were also some one-offs that a lot of the younger fans might not be aware of. For my own sanity and organization, here is a listing of all feature length movies in the franchise:

Star Wars IV: A New Hope (1977) -

Definitely the most successful film (heck, one of the most successful films of all time) that made almost a billion dollars at the box office worldwide...in the 80s. Amazing. The story mimics the hero's journey as described by Joseph Campbell, giving it basically the most satisfying story imaginable. Nobody except for friend of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, thought it would be as successful as it was. This kind of popularity meant there was going to be some sequels and, since George Lucas was the man behind the whole thing, only one man was about to get tasked with future success.

Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) -

This was a TV movie that was made to cash in on the massive popularity of the first movie while the second one was in production. It is terrible. I generally try to hold back judgement and point out subjective opinions, but I think I can say that this made-for-TV movie is objectively bad. It is the equivalent of a variety show, a format which was popular at the time, and it was awful. It is widely considered to be one of the worst visual productions of all time. Just to give a hint of its awfulness, the movie follows the adventures of Chewbacca's Wookie family and they only speak in growls with no interpretation or subtitles. Laughably awful.

The Empire Strikes Back (1980) -

Arguably the best of the films as far as story and plot, this film was actually directed by Irvin Kershner with a George Lucas story adapted to the screen by Lawrence Kasdan. This film is legitimately fantastic and not just new and fun. It is so well written and directed with the famous reveal between Luke and Darth Vader. It also is incredibly downbeat at the end that perfectly sets up the next film. I personally think this is the best example of fine film in the franchise, although it doesn't have as much big action and no giant space laser. Well worth watching and makes the third film a must see.

Return of the Jedi (1983) -

Well, not as good as the first two, but still pretty darn good. This film introduced the Ewoks and the Endor moon battle. Many fans thought that the introduction of living teddy bears was a mistake that distract from the story. What really made the film, apparently, was the whole sequence at the beginning that takes place at Jabba the Hut's palace and involves Princess Leia in a metal bikini. We also find out that Luke and Leia are twins, so that kiss in the second film suddenly becomes kind of awkward. This becomes kind of a theme from here on out: should we disavow canon or put in throwaway lines and scenes to cover things that were mentioned in previous movies. It plagues the prequels.

The Ewok Adventure (1984) -

I get a lot of garbage about it, but I love these movies because I grew up with them. They are not that great and the copy that I saw over and over had ads from the early 80s throughout. Heavy nostalgia. Also, some of the Ewoks were played by established actors from what is now called Episode VI, Warwick Davis as Wicket and Tony Cox as Widdle. It was a lot of fun, but definitely a higher budgeted TV movie. It did become so successful that it got a theater release as Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure. This naming style stuck around for the spin off films that were made in the late 2010s.

Ewoks: The Battle for Endor (1985) -

Hot dang, they made a second one with Wilford Brimley! Both of the Ewok films were thought up by George Lucas and sold to ABC. Both films were also given special Emmy awards for special effects. I can't fault either Ewok film as far as visuals since both got the ILM treatment. I have stated that I liked both of these movies more than some of the prequels, and I stand by that.

The Phantom Menace (1999) -

The next three films followed the first three episodes in the Star Wars saga and are now generally known as the prequels. They are also pretty widely hated. One reason for that was the introduction of young Anikan Skywalker (eventual Darth Vader) and his growing attachment to Lord Palpatine (Darth Sidious). The problem with the prequels is that it was a path leading to a result that had been established over 20 years ago in the first film. They also introduced a character named Jar-Jar Binks who was just awful. There was a great pod racing scene and an epic Sith vs. Jedi battle that really were the highlights of the film. The music was also pretty epic, but the film was otherwise not that great. It was completely made under the helm of George Lucas and fans were suddenly starting to wonder if he was the genius they had thought him to be. What I consider to be the best YouTube deep dive movie review of all time, a group called Red Letter Media made a seven part review that explains why the movie was such a problem. You can watch the first part and it will auto load all seven here:

(1) Star Wars: The Phantom Menace Review (Part 1 of 7) - YouTube

Attack of the Clones (2002) -

Alright, here is where things really start to go down hill. There is a fine actor by the name of Hayden Christiansen that is just awful in this film. He is given nothing to do for the most part. He is supposed to be this amazing Jedi general, but he spends most of his time walking around speaking in a very monotone voice. He does have some fun piloting scenes, but he is written as such a whiny brat. There are two epic battles (the coliseum and Dooku vs. Yoda) and we get to see a bounty hunter in action. It does seem like a lot of fan service glued together by boring politics and horrifically bad acting.

Revenge of the Sith (2005) -

This is widely considered the worst of the prequel movies and generally laughable at some points. There is supposed to be an epic lava battle at the end, but it is just a bunch of screaming about a failed bromance. We get to see the end of the characters in the prequel and set up the original movies...that were now almost 30 years old. It was unsatisfying and not even slightly worth the wait. It was at this time that George Lucas said that there would never be a seventh episode that would follow the original trilogy.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) -

There was a very compelling series of Star Wars shorts in 2003 made by Genndy Tartakovsky that did very well. George Lucas saw this and decided that a lot of the most interesting Star Wars events had occurred during the time between the prequels and the original series. Lucasfilm put out an animated movie to test the waters and it was so successful that 7 seasons of great animated adventures were made to show the epic battles that were supposed to take place between the second and third episode. I honestly believe that this was the very best space action of the entire franchise.

The Force Awakens (2015) -

George Lucas sold the Star Wars franchise over to Disney and fans got a new movie that was never supposed to happen. Once Disney came on board, the brand became much more prolific. Until the pandemic, there were plans to put out a Star Wars movie every year for a decade. The first was episode seven and was made by J.J. Abrams. It was similar to the first film (episode IV) in so many ways that fans started to think it was just a remake. It even had a lot of the characters from the original trilogy. It was much better received by fans following the prequels and introduced a storyline that was not already spoiled by previous movies. There was a lot of unnecessary fan service for those who loved the original trilogy. This makes since because it involved Lawrence Kasdan, who helped with the screenplay for episode five and six from the original trilogy.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) -

A full big budget release of a Star Wars movie that wasn't one of the episodes was an interesting idea. It was an entire movie to explain a throwaway line from the original 1977 movie. I lot of people died to get some plans for the big weapon in the first film and people wanted to know exactly how that happened. Actually they didn't. But Disney thought it was a good idea and it seemed like it would make a lot of money (it did). It gave the producers a chance to make a movie with new characters and only mentions of the famous story (this was important because the other actors where making the next episode).

The Last Jedi (2017) -

This was an interesting change of pace from the rest of the films because it seemed to drop the idea of the "chosen one" and say that anyone could be a Jedi. It is basically one giant escape story and is closer to Mad Max in space than it is to the other Star Wars films. It was given in full by Disney to Rian Johnson and it shows. This was the first episode film that had nothing in common with any of the production group from the original trilogy. No Kasdan, no Kirschner, no Lucas, all Disney. It was not very well received.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) -

The worst performing of any of the Star Wars live action feature length films, this was the story of Han Solo. That's it. There is not a lot of history about the character and he is so cool, fans needed to have a stand alone movie about his youth. That's a lie, Disney wanted a movie to come out between episode eight and nine. This was the best that the suits could come up with and it definitely made money, but it is lame.

The Rise of Skywalker (2019) -

Well, the movie completely helmed by Rian Johnson was not popular enough so there was a total retcon situation and this film basically picked up where episode seven left off. It was the same team from episode seven (since that film was so much more popular) and they made a final film that wraps up with a bow. Sort of. There was definitely room in the film world for more Star Wars movies to be made (it is owned by Disney) and I really don't believe it is finished as a franchise.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just in case there are people who were nervous that this was the end of the franchise, there is currently a stand alone film called Rogue Squadron that is supposed to come out in 2023. Thank goodness. There was also the popular Mandalorian series on Disney +. But the franchise has been making huge films for almost 45 years now, so maybe it is time to stop. We have the MCU that has made almost twice as much money as the Star Wars universe, so most movie goers have picked their setting that they want to see. Maybe there could be a crossover (I am kidding, please no) and it would be the most watched film of all time.

[jngles]

Thoughts You Definitely All Asked For on ‘The Mandalorian’ Season 2 Finale!!

These are in chronological order for the show.

One of my biggest fears about them reintroducing Boba Fett was that by removing some of his mystery, they would make him less cool. Thank god that has not been the case. He’s still an aloof and nasty piece of work but with dimensions added.

We all know the Empire is most often a metaphor for America right? At least when it’s not being Nazi Germany? The Imperial pilot talking about destroying an entire planet (of peaceful weaponless civilians no less) to stop terrorism hits a little too close to home of the nuclear bombs the US has dropped and the endless destruction of the Middle East in the “war against terror.” And of course we frame all our wars in similar language like “our troops died to keep our country safe,” which hasn’t really been true since WWII.

I do think it’s worth noting that this is the first time SW has had someone acknowledge the human losses of the Death Star blasts. Usually it’s framed as a loss in construction time, strategical advantage, and power. The Empire proved time and time again that the lives of its soldiers were utterly expendable, which always made me question why people remained loyal outside of fear. Through this pilot’s phrasing, you can see the propaganda Imperial superiors used to twist the truth to their followers, always blaming those deaths on Rebel aggression instead of prideful Imperial neglect (I.e. not abandoning ship when there was still time) or even direct Imperial aggression like Operation Cinder where they fired on thousands of their own (discussed in S2E7.)

You can’t tell me Din wasn’t into it when Cara shot that asshole pilot. That cold faced revenge shot? 100% Mandalorian style, and also very very hot.

I appreciate that it was a pretty equal match between Boba and Koska Reeves. So much of Boba’s advantage comes from his suit, but since she also has one, it’s a battle of wits on how to use it, and they even out. This both maintains his legendary badassery and also that of highly trained Mandalorian warriors, and hopefully avoids asshole chauvinist SW fans on the internet complaining abujt “pandering to feminism” (fuck off @ all of them, especially since Mercedes Vernado who plays Reeves is a WWE champ and could kick all of your asses.)

Din point blank asked how many Death Troopers there are and Dr. Pershing never answered, and that annoys me.

Why is no one suspicious why Dr. Pershing is being so helpful and revealing so much information? He totally did not have to tell them about the Dark Troopers or any of the specifics of locations on the ship. He’s still with the empire post-fall, implying he’s a loyalist, so... wtf on his part (since no tricks come of it), and “be smarter” on the part of everyone else. Unless he’s been captive as a clone engineer all this time. But couldn’t he have made his escape back in Season 1 when Din killed everyone at that lab to get the kid back?

Bo Katan really could’ve just told them how the retrieval of the dark saber needs to work in the flight before the mission instead of being vague about “he belongs to me.”

Boba Fett’s usage of “Princess” and “don’t worry about me” are a good throwback to Han Solo and the culture they both grew up in. You can never quite tell if it’s based in misogyny or resentment for upper classes, but both of them seem to use it as a shield for begrudging respect they hold for a woman they think is brave but following a fool’s errand (the Rebellion and retaking Mandalore).

The Comms Officer (Katy O’Brian) assisting Moff Gideon will forever and always look like Ilana Glazer to me, and then I get swept up imagining what would happen if the Broad City cast accidentally got transported to Star Wars.

The launch tube sequence has some amazing cinematography.

The second I saw Boba was cut off from the pack, I really thought they were going to kill him again and make his return bittersweet. Glad they didn’t.

God this team of Bo Katan, Koska Reeves, Fennec Shand, and Cara Dune is SO BADASS. I’m just obsessed with all these characters and their various motivations to get shit done. I honestly didn’t even think about the fact it’s all women until my re-watch, showing that the writers made it feel natural, the way women deserve to have their representation done. You can bet I am SO EXCITED for my future daughter and the wealth of possibilities she’s going to have of characters to play pretend as, action figures she can relate to, Halloween costumes to wear, etc. It’s so validating that we’ve gone from only Princess Leia as a female main character to all these women + Rey, Jyn Erso, Ahsoka, etc. etc.

Can’t wait for the trap remix of the Dark Trooper activation noises. (And the transition from that to the minimalist flute theme is perfect.)

The spy movie version of the main theme music is sick.

The Dark Trooper droid faces have a lot of similarity to Darth Vader’s mask. That callback is especially apparent when the one is literally lit from the inside with fire. He was already a martyr/legend to the Imperial remnants, Kylo Ren didn’t start the trend of ignoring his redemption.

Cara’s “excuse me” right before shooting up Stormtroopers is hilarious. Literally “can’t talk rn, doing hot girl shit and murdering space Nazis.”

Finally an Imperial ship got some frickin security cameras. Truly- the amount of times people just wander down hallways they’re not supposed to be in with no one being able to find them throughout the course of Star Wars is ridiculous when you think about the degree of surveillance our real life society carries out. I also love that this means The Mandalorian characters have also seen The Mandalorian.

The storytelling does such a service to Pedro Pascal and his already heroic efforts to portray emotion through a helmet. For example: Din easily could’ve killed the one stormtrooper outside Grogu’s cell much more efficiently, but instead, to show his absolute rage, they wrote in Din choking him out with a spear.

Moff Gideon would have been the BIGGEST pain in the ass in philosophy class. “Assume I know everything” my ass. I want to hear about his backstory (he would’ve been “coming of age” at the time of the Clone Wars) mostly just to hear about him getting bullied at school.

Smart move honestly, to try to tempt Din with the Mandalorian throne, given the Mandalorian power struggles of the past. Proud of our boy for keeping his priorities straight.

So has the blood from Grogu been transferred out of the ship and back to the remnant empire already, or do they have to find a new “donor” to help with building Snoke and Palpatine’s clones? Will they continue to go after him with Luke?

Lmao Din being so annoyed by Bo Katan being stringent about the tradition of winning the Dark Saber through combat is HILARIOUS, coming from a man who up until like a day ago hadn’t shown his face to a living being in decades.

The dark troopers can punch in blast doors but NOT Din’s helmet?? That’s a wild testament to beskar. Somehow that’s the comparison that sticks out to me, more even than its resistance to lightsabers.

This show works because of the cynicism of so many characters adding contrast to the moments of heart. Cara Dune is not a “fan” the way Rey was (for the record I love Rey, don’t come at her, it’s just different). Cara doesn’t see an X-Wing and go OMG THE REBELLION I LOVE THEM. She’s been through too much to believe in the magic saviourism of the “good guys,” and is instead thinking strategically when she, the one Rebel present, brushes off the usefulness of “one X-Wing.” The only positive things she seems to feel in battle situations are moments of relief and brief satisfaction in hurting the empire, with a dark knowledge that it will never make up for the hurt they did to her.

How do you keep a cloak hood on while fighting? Both from a technical standpoint (my hats fall off without me even having to move- is he expending force energy just to keep it on and look cool lol?) and also because idk, maybe it’s just me, but peripheral vision is helpful when surrounded by killer robots on a thin bridge above oblivion. I know his first lesson was to “see” through the force, but every resource helps, right?

Now that she has the ship, I wonder if Bo Katan can reprogram any salvageable Dark Troopers to help with retaking Mandalore?

There is nothing like seeing Luke’s fighting style, with its efficient choppiness and twinge of darkness. I always wonder how much is natural and how much is influenced by his first fights with Vader (that Skywalker diva flair). I love how they’ve advanced his technique but also kept him extremely “grey” here- like to straight up COMBUST a Dark Trooper takes some violent energy lol.

How tf is Moff Gideon alive after threatening Grogu’s life twice directly? That’s a wild testament to Din’s regard for Cara.

I love how seeing Luke slice through a bunch of murder droids like butter probably was a huge point in his favor for Din actually letting Grogu go with him. Like he will only send his child to boarding preschool if he knows the teacher will be a certified killing machine.

Oh my god they finally brought in some OG Star Wars theme music for Luke to take his hood off to 😭 It felt weird seeing him fight to different music, so the emotional payoff is huge when his themes come back for the face reveal.

Whoever added the digital young Mark Hamill face NAILED those classic shining Luke eyes and the earnest eyebrow lift.

Whoever shines the glass of Baby Yoda’s lil puppet eyeballs each day deserves a raise. The light caught in those babies is devastating.

Din is shaking as he takes off his helmet. This is the most enormous show of love he could give him, and possibly the last he’ll be able to for a long time. He only just got Grogu back and is desperate for a moment of real connection before letting him go once again.

This is the first time anyone has touched Din’s face since... likely his parents as a child.

Whoever wrote this scene clearly actually has kids. Anyone who’s ever had to leave a young child even just to go out for a bit or to drop them off somewhere knows that heartbreak of seeing them look in your eyes and hold on to your leg, trying to keep you with them. Especially when they can sense your mutual separation anxiety. The one thing that starts to make them feel better is something fun like a new toy or friend who can be their guide in the new environment, and R2’s friendly introduction is exactly that (since digital Luke isn’t being particularly emotive or child friendly... I hope that’s just because he’s reaching into Grogu’s mind while also keeping an eye on the multiple people with guns trained on him, not because he’s going to be totally unfeeling raising this kid.)

I love that Grogu and R2 are immediately buddies in contrast to Episode 5 when R2 was like “fuck this guy” @ Yoda stealing food and hitting him with a walking stick lol. I would imagine Luke must be reminded of that first introduction too and entertained by this display of playfulness in a *positive* light between R2 and mini-Yoda.

I need to know if Luke and Ahsoka have met- it is KILLING ME.

Does this mean Grogu will get killed by Kylo Ren when he fucks up Luke’s academy??? I will reincarnate Ben just to kill him again if that’s the case.

How does Luke not even fully SMILE at Grogu?? An adorable little baby version of his beloved master Yoda, and you’re telling me he doesn’t have the same heart stopping gasp we all did when we first saw him?? Maybe he did when they first connected through the force. He has a bit of bemusement on his face, and also wonder in his eyes, but I want a grin of recognition and welcome, dammit.

I really wish Luke had somehow acknowledged Cara Dune. Everyone else seems to see the tear drop Rebel sign and know it means Alderaan. He could’ve been like yo I have a badass warrior sister from your planet that you should meet. Or just “thank you for your service.” (I know this actually wouldn’t have been cinematically good but my heart wants it.)

Luke didn’t tell Din his name?? Or ask for any details about the kid and his care?? I could literally never let my kid go with someone, regardless of how worthy, and not be like, “Excuse me sir who are you and where tf are you taking my tiny beloved green goblin in case I need to find him? Here is my contact info. He likes to eat frogs and eggs, and he can have macarons as a treat. He’s 50 years old and his favorite toy is still a ball. Bedtime is 8pm and he’s allergic to dairy.”

Another reason I wish Luke had identified himself would be to see the mishmash of reactions that would ensue. Cara would be like DAMN IT’S THAT GUY WHO BLEW UP THE DEATH STAR AND KILLED THE EMPEROR, ACT COOL (and she would indeed act cool). Fennec would be like ugh it’s that guy who helped kill my best paying client Jabba the Hutt and then fucked over my boss Boba, I helped save the kid for THIS? And I would LOVE to know how Bo Katan feels about him, assuming she’s heard of him, and especially if she knows he’s Anakin Skywalker’s son. That confusion is probably the reason WHY the writers didn’t have him reveal himself- they didn’t want to break the emotion of the scene.

Let‘s all be real I’m just being needy about wanting things from Luke because of what he meant to me as a kid and my resulting innate need to have more canon of him, whatever it is, whenever I can get it. Especially in this form that’s so similar to ROTJ, a movie I watched on endless repeat. Even getting this was incredible though. Who else could we trust this lil heart-stealing green bean with so fully? Yet who would be so arrogant as to try to train a baby yodling (see: Ahsoka’s wise refusal)?

R2 is reckless as hell lmao. Not that we don’t already know that, but for him to just head on in, effectively abandoning Luke’s ship (how can they know if there are more troopers or not who might blow it up?) and also putting himself in the path of the ridiculously deadly Dark Troopers is NUTS. I’m usually on his side but he absolutely deserves a scolding by C3PO for this one.

I wonder if Grogu has any memories of R2 or vice versa since they did occupy the Jedi Temple at the same time. Can Grogu understand droids? They could swap stories about mutual acquaintances.

Does Din pretty much have to go with Bo Katan now since a) he’s shown his face and may not be able to go back to the Watch, and b) because he has the darksaber and has to figure out how to get it back to her without dying?

How in the hell did Bib Fortuna (whose chins age was not kind to) go from being butler to being boss? Were all the henchmen just like, “Fuck yeah, no Hutt parents no rules, let’s do what we want!!” And then they’ve spent the last ten years living off of whatever money they could salvage from Jabba’s non-banked wealth? Why has no one challenged them for that prime real estate and loot? I would love to hear that story.

Fennec Shand says “respect sex workers” so you better fuckin’ do it.

Idk dude Bib Fortuna really was a good butler, and he seemed pretty willing to comply with whoever’s in power. Did he screw Boba over in his attempt to return from the dead and earn that killing shot somehow? Or was this to make sure there was no one left who would have a claim to loyalty? Or maybe Boba just really wanted to sit in that chair.

Does “The Book of Boba Fett” mean we’re not on Din Djarin’s story anymore? Or is it a new show? I would much prefer the latter. I want to see Din help retake Mandalore or at least get a hug.

[bedlamsbard]

(in response to this post)

This turned out really, really long, so, uh, apologies?  The short version is that the number one rule is that your legacy characters don’t undercut your main cast.

I think Rogue One and Solo pulled it off -- Solo is a weirder case because it’s a prequel story about a main character, but Rogue One’s use of Tarkin, Vader, Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, etc. worked for me because from the beginning they were there to support the original characters in the film and never wavered from that.  Rogue One also benefited from knowing exactly what it was going to do and never wavering from that for an instant.

In terms of the shows, TCW is also not a straightforward case because it was using film characters as its mains and pulling from all over, but in terms of OT characters that appeared in the show, I am pretty happy with how TCW pulled off Chewbacca in Wookiee Hunt (3.22) -- puts him there, uses him well to support the main character of that particular arc (Ahsoka) and the other supporting characters (the other youngling Jedi), but it doesn’t turn into the Chewie episode. Same with Ackbar in the Mon Cala arc in S4: support, not overwhelming, doesn’t waver from the central theme of the arc.  Tarkin’s the other big one, and I’m pretty satisfied with the way he was used in TCW -- he’s always there in reference to the main characters of the arcs he appears in, and not in reference to himself, if that makes sense -- he’s there because having him there specifically makes more sense than it doesn’t.

(Honestly, I think the little philosophical lessons really helped with TCW being able to keep its focus: they have to drive straight towards that and not hesitate about it.  Every time they dropped those (I’m talking about you, Siege of Mandalore), they ran into a problem where they sort of wandered around a bit.)

Maul...I like Maul a lot.  I don’t have that much of a problem with the decision to bring him back into the timeline in TCW (at least you always knew that when George Lucas was doing something he was doing it because he enjoyed it, instead of the current case of “are you doing it for a purpose? for cheap lulz? for the aesthetic? are you setting up a sequel? are you trying to course-correct another piece of canon?”).  I do think Maul got overweighted in S7, and this is partially because they didn’t really have the space to build him up from where he ended in S5.  The Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir comic helps a little, but S7 is such a rapid switch from where he is in S5 (and you do have to assume that most viewers hadn’t read the comic) that he then pulls in too much narrative weight, and that’s because S7 was trying to do something really, really different from what the previous six seasons of TCW were trying to do.

Rebels sometimes pulls it off, sometimes does not.  Since we’re on the topic of Maul already, I am actually fine with Maul in Rebels.  I don’t actually think he was used to his full benefit because they pulled back at the last minute, but Maul in Twilight of the Apprentice? Fine with that. Same with Holocrons of Fate and Visions and Voices. (I’ve got a few other problems with Visions and Voices.)  Maul is always there in relation to the main characters of the show, not in relation to himself and not in relation to a non-Rebels character.  Did it have to be Maul (back in TotA, obvs, not the latter two)?  No, but it makes sense and it works really well thematically with all of the characters present in that episode.  Holocrons and Visions and Voices, same.

Twin Suns, on the other hand, another Maul episode, was a disaster -- beautifully made episode, everyone is in character, it should never have been made.  (I’m currently grumpy about this one specifically because I recently saw an “Ezra shouldn’t have been in Twin Suns” take.)  Yes, Maul and Obi-Wan are both interacting with Ezra, but Ezra in this ep is basically himself the McGuffin.  Neither the actual, thematic, or emotional conflict in the episode revolves around Ezra even if he’s the instigator of that final showdown.  If you can start and end an episode without the show’s main cast (and Rebels differs from TCW in that it did, very specifically, have a main character as well as a main cast), you’ve made a mistake.  Not to mention that Twin Suns takes a bunch of narrative and thematic weight that was set in TotA and earlier in S3 (such as the Maul/Kanan and Maul/Ezra parallels), and then completely ignores it in favor of a confrontation that is not going to be emotionally significant for viewers who are there for the show’s main cast.

Darth Vader mostly works in Rebels -- in S2 in isolation, not as part of the greater Rebels plot arc which is a weird hot mess of deescalating villains season by season (a whole ‘nother thing).  In Siege of Lothal he’s set up in relation to the main cast and that’s who most of his interaction is with.  Same with TotA, though I sometimes think more weight is put on the Vader/Ahsoka duel than should be there in terms of who the main cast are.  Sometimes I think it’s fine as is.  His other brief appearances are fine, since he’s mostly there just to loom and use up the fabric animation budget.

Tarkin really works in Rebels -- this is honestly Rebels’ biggest legacy character success, my gods, his introduction in Call to Action is terrifying.  Did it have to be Tarkin?  No, they could have made an OC and had the same role, but Tarkin here, in this context?  It ups the tension level a thousand percent, we see him ordering around the Imperials in the show (and the execution scene still gives me chills), and the end of Call to Action, when he’s talking to Kanan on the gunship and orders the destruction of the communications tower?  This is easily one of the most terrifying thing Rebels has ever done and to be honest, I’m not sure they ever topped it in terms of sheer presence.  Evacuating the star destroyer in Fire Across the Galaxy? Perfect parallel to ANH.

From S2-S4, Rebels really wavers back and forth on their use of legacy characters and this is true of the show as a whole from that point onwards -- when there’s a legacy character, they tend to be overweighted in terms of the episode and in terms of how much narrative space is given to them rather than to the main cast.  Not all the time (I have issues with the S4 Mandalore arc, but I think Bo-Katan was played fairly well because most of the narrative weight was still on Sabine), but a lot of the time.  The Future of the Force is really bad on this in terms of Ahsoka -- most of the episode is still focused on Kanan and Ezra, but then they’re taken off the board so she can have her dramatic fight scene.  Shroud of Darkness -- I go back and forth.  (I have other issues with Shroud.)  Leia in A Princess on Lothal -- mostly okay, but some weird moments, like using her to rally the Ghost crew into action?

Wedge in The Antilles Extraction -- fine  He’s played in relation to Sabine, his presence in the ep is thematically consistent with everything else they’re doing. Saw Gerrera in both S3 and S4 I really go back and forth on.  I think I’m mostly okay with him in terms of how he’s played in those four episodes, but I also think there are a lot of questions raised in terms of, like, his relationship to the Alliance.  (This goes for his appearance in Jedi Fallen Order as well -- I’m fine with it, it’s not mindblowing, it was nice to see.)  Mon Mothma I go back and forth on and part of this is because I’m not entirely sure what they were doing with the Rebel Alliance -- this same thing is true for Saw Gerrera.  Especially in the back half of S3 (though it appears earlier as well), Rebels is intersecting more and more with the Rebel Alliance in the lead-up to Rogue One and ANH, but I don’t think they were really entirely sure what they wanted to do with that thematically, which is how we get these wildly varying views of the Alliance even from within it, especially in S4.  Which is part of the reason why S4 thematically is A DISASTER.  (y’all I should not have come out of S4 hating the Rebel Alliance and I still can’t tell if they did that on purpose or not?)

I’m not mentioning every legacy character in Rebels here (Cham, Hondo, Madine, C-3PO and R2-D2, Bail Organa), but mostly the ones where they pay major roles.  Rex I think Rebels mostly managed to pull off having as treating him like supporting cast and not overweighting him as character.  -- The clone trio at the beginning of S2 has them in relation to Kanan, Ezra, Kallus and the stormtroopers, etc., not just in relation to themselves.

(I have no idea how to talk about Thrawn in this context because Thrawn isn’t exactly a legacy character from the current canon, but on the other hand he’s a major EU legacy character, so he’s also just a weird god damn case in general that doesn’t really have a parallel in current canon?)

What else we got -- Star Wars Resistance; doesn’t use that many legacy characters but uses the ones it has pretty sparingly.  Poe is always there in relation to Kaz, Leia has a very brief appearance, Phasma and Hux are mostly there because it makes sense for them to be there, same with Kylo Ren.  Resistance has its issues (both thematically and with pacing) but this is not one of them).

Jedi Fallen Order -- Saw was fine; Vader wasn’t overweighted once he showed up.  Battlefront II had its legacy characters almost entirely in context of Iden and Del; they weren’t there just to be there.  (And not being a gamer I’m not one hundred percent certain how those two felt in actual playing, vs. my watching them on YT.)

(I am not terribly familiar with the current canon books and comics because I stopped reading them a while ago.)

Non-canon example from Legends: Han Solo’s appearance in the Wraith Squadron novels.

The short version of this is: if you’re going to use legacy characters, you want them to be there in relation to your main cast. It has to work thematically; they can’t undercut your mains. Their stories, no matter how important to the saga as a whole, should not overwhelm the main cast of your actual show/film/game/whatever. And they definitely should not undercut your mains.  (I think Mando did this fine with Bo-Katan, tbh.)

[ariainstars]

Star Wars, the Last 20 Years or Can We Please Try to Stop the Blame Train?

I would like to touch a subject that’s starting to grate on my nerves a little.

Anyone here knows that I disliked The Rise of Skywalker heartily. And I’m not the only person here or elsewhere who tore it to shreds. But I am reading (again) over and over why and how JJ Abrams, Chris Terrio, Kathleen Kennedy and Co. made this mess. Instead of searching for culprits, this time I would like to point out a few things.

I. Star Wars Prequels

Jake Lloyd, Ahmed Best and Hayden Christensen had to endure awful harassment in their time: the audience largely vented their frustration on them because when the prequels hit theatres, they did not get the Star Wars they had wanted. Politics are a dry subject, and young Anakin and the Jedi Council were all too human to be liked by fans who expect coolness in a hero more than everything else; which is probably why Darth Maul is a huge favorite although we hardly learn anything about him and he says almost nothing. Ditto Obi-Wan although he is clearly not suited to train Anakin and it’s him who maims him and leaves him to burn in the lava. (Until I saw the film, I had always assumed Palpatine had tortured Anakin to push him to the Dark Side.) 

The prequels’ messages in general were not liked: the Jedi were not perfectly wise and cool wizards, the Old Republic was stagnant, Anakin was a hot-headed, frustrated young man desperate to save his wife and unborn children. The films do not want to excuse what he did; however they portray him not as a monster but as a human being who was under an almost unendurable pressure for years and years until he finally snapped.

These messages may not be “cool”, but they were realistic and most of all, humane. Portraying the Jedi as well as Anakin as powerful, flawless heroes and the old Republic as a just, prosperous and balanced place would have meant undermining a central theme of the original trilogy: the former generation could not have been all that powerful and wise, else the collapse of their world and the failure of their convictions would not have happened in the first place. It is a sore point, but still twenty years later Obi-Wan and Yoda denied that Vader was human and expected Luke to commit patricide. 

All of this goes to show that the Jedi’s moral standard was flawed and their attitude not rooted in compassion and pacifism the way they claimed. In the end, what they cared about was winning, no matter the cost. In this, they were no better than the Sith.

~~~more under the cut~~~

II. Star Wars Sequels

J.J. Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy, Bob Iger and company were the ones who introduced the Star Wars sequel trilogy and with it its themes, characters, setting etc. to us in the first place: I think we should give them credit where it’s due. Rian Johnson made a very beautiful second chapter with The Last Jedi, but he did pick up where the others had left. 

Kelly Marie Tran made experiences similar to Jake Lloyds or Hayden Christensen’s when The Last Jedi was hit theatres. She was disliked for not being “Star-Wars-y” enough, chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire, and also taking a lot of screen time while many fans were impatiently waiting for some grand scenes from Luke and / or Leia. 

That Episode VIII, the central and most important one, was called “The Last Jedi” cannot be overstated. Luke was literally alone with the heavy task of rebuilding a religious order that was gone and destroyed long before he even learned about it, and at the same time he had to patch together his own family and atone for his father’s sins. This is a crushing burden for anyone to carry. It was important both for Rey and for the audience to meet Luke to see that he was a good man, but still just a man.

When Luke spoke openly to Rey about the failure of the Jedi Order, it was the first time he ever spoke about it that we know of; this wisdom he obviously acquired only after his nephew’s fall to the Dark Side. Luke has understood that the ways of the Jedi were wrong; but he does not know a better alternative. Force users are still born all over the galaxy, and they have to learn to use their powers - only how? Again, Luke is not to blame. How is he to know, when the Jedi of the Old Republic had lost sight of Balance in the Force for so long that they didn’t know what it actually meant anymore? 

Same goes for Leia, the princess without a realm, who tried to rebuild the Republic after the galaxy had been terrorized by the Empire and devastated by war for many years. She assuredly did her best, but she was only human. That she failed her son is of course shocking, but after the horror she had to endure at the hands of her own father it is not surprising that she would be terrified of her son possibly going the same way. Ben, like Anakin, was crushed under a legacy and responsibility that was by far too heavy for him. The tragedy of his life and the disruption - and in the end, obliteration - of his family was another proof for the failure of the ways of the Jedi. 

All of these lessons until now were not learned from. But let’s be honest: how many of us come from dysfunctional families? If we do, was getting away from them enough to heal the wounds of the past? Did we find out what to give our children on their way in life, or did we fail them because we had not elaborated the past enough to make way for a better future? Such problems are very common, and to heal them is complicated and takes time. A “happy ending” e.g. in form of finding a new family is not enough, on the contrary, it can lead to wanting to leave the past behind, leaving wounds unhealed that will fester their way through our lives again, sooner or later. Star Wars always was an allegory of the human mind, even if deeply cloaked in symbolism. The saga also abundantly takes inspiration from the Bible, and I think it’s not coincidentally said there that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children. 

As fans, we would have wanted to see films that cemented the Jedi as guardians of the galaxy, with the Skywalker family right at the center. Which in itself is impossible because Jedi are supposed to remain unattached, making the mere idea of a Jedi having a family absurd. If the prequels told us that the Jedi were flawed, the sequels tore down the myth of the Skywalker family. And both trilogies showed that you can’t be a Skywalker and / or a Jedi / Force user and have attachments and a happy family of your own at the same time. At least, not until now. 

 III. Film production

Many fans of old complained because the sequel trilogy implied that the “happy ending” of the original trilogy’s heroes had not been so happy after all and that after having made peace for the galaxy, they had failed to keep it that way. Other viewers however liked the new trilogy and new characters right away and began to root for them. But they, too, jumped on the blame train when the trilogy had ended: expectations were not met, and now director, producers, script writers, cutters etc. are faulted all over again.

The first person coming up with the idea of Han’s and Leia’s only child turning to the Dark Side was Lucas himself. It always was a main theme of the saga that war separates people who actually belong together, like family, couples or close friends; that is not played for mere drama, but because it emphasizes the absurdity of war.

We as the audience do not know how production went - it is very possible that Lucas approved the general storyline, and there is always a whole team on board. It is not easy to purchase such a large and immensely popular franchise; it was to be expected that if things went not the way the audience expected, the Disney studios would be blamed harshly for having “ruined Star Wars”. With the prequels, at least Lucas was still at the helm; it was conceded that maybe he had lost his magic touch with storytelling, but certainly not that he was trying deliberately to ruin his own creation. And the fans who could not praise the Disney studios enough after The Last Jedi came out, now blame them over and over.

The Disney studios have long-term politics to consider and contracts to observe, and we don’t know their contents. We have every right to be disappointed, but I think it’s not fair to blame one or a particular group of persons who are trying their best to satisfy as many viewers as possible. If they simply wanted to satisfy the average dudebro who sees nothing but clichés, two-dimensional characters and Good against Evil - then why did they allow The Last Jedi to be produced in the first place? The studios obviously are aware that there are fans out there who are ready to look deeper in the saga’s themes, who wish to see the Force coming to Balance, who value family, friendship and love over “victory at any cost”, and who do not place the Jedi on some kind of pedestal.

In a sense, The Rise of Skywalker seems like a bow before The Last Jedi: the weakest chapter of the saga followed one of its strongest. Maybe the authors were aware that equaling or even topping what Rian Johnson had created would be next to impossible, so they patched up the open threads of The Force Awakens together with some fan service hoping to be out of the business as quickly as possible.

In retrospect, the infamous podcast with Charles Soule might also be tell-tale: Soule obviously is not elbows-deep in the saga and largely ignores its subtext. Since his The Rise of Kylo Ren comics are quite well-made, I assume that the general storyline did not stem from his own creativity and that he only carried out what he had been advised to do. The production of the whole sequel trilogy may have happened in a similar way. I am not excusing the poor choices of The Rise of Skywalker; merely considering that one or a few persons cannot be blamed in a studio that has thousands of creative minds on board.

I am still hoping for the next trilogy to finally bring Balance to the galaxy, and also into the fandom. Rian Johnson had negotiated the rights for the next trilogy along with The Last Jedi; I assume it is very possible that there was a clause about intellectual property saying that only he would continue Episode VIII’s topics, nobody else. This would at least be an explanation, given the embarrassing, jumbled mess that Episode IX was.

The overall title of the saga assuredly never wanted to inspire the audience to start online wars attacking the studios or the actors or other fans out of the conviction of being entitled to blame someone else’s worldview. The saga’s message is compassion. Both George Lucas and the Disney studios are telling us their story; the idea and the rights do not belong to us. Harping on “whose fault” it allegedly is won’t bring us anywhere; what we can do is make the studios understand that we’re not too stupid not to understand the subtext, the symbolism and metaphysics of the saga beyond the action story. If they listened to the Last Jedi haters, in all fairness they are bound to listen to us, too. 😊

  IV. Will Ben’s story continue?

My husband already warned me years ago that Ben most probably wouldn’t survive, or at least not get a happy ending. As Kylo Ren he had already been the head of a criminal organization for six years at the start of The Force Awakens, but all of that perhaps could still have been condoned within the scope of war. It was the very personal and intentional act of patricide, the killing of an unarmed, forgiving man, who turned him into a damned person. And after the deed, Ben was aware of it. He knew there was no way out for him, he had gone too far.

Many members of the audience did not understand that Kylo / Ben is not an out-and-out villain and that this narrative ultimately was about his redemption. Bringing him back to the Resistance after the Exegol battle alive and by Rey’s side would not have been accepted; how was Rey to explain everything when she hardly understood it herself? How would the audience have reacted to the former head of a criminal organization, a patricide, suddenly standing out as a hero? Remember how in Return of the Jedi Luke asked Vader to come away with him. Now suppose Vader had complied? It would have seemed (and been) sheer madness. Nobody would have believed neither father nor son that the terror of the galaxy had had a sudden turn of heart. Nobody knew that he was Luke’s father; Luke himself did not know Anakin’s backstory; nobody knew what had transpired between Luke and Vader so far. Yes, Ben was young and healthy, but he still had terrorized the galaxy for years and killed his own father. He knew himself that he was damned and could not go back to normality, as Vader did.

Rey was coded as the heroine: narratively, the sequel trilogy was her story. Ben couldn’t become the hero, with or without her, at the very last moment. She usurped power like her grandfather in his time, the Skywalker family was obliterated the way the Jedi were, she takes over another mantle (Skywalker) the way Palpatine did (becoming the Emperor). Balance in the Force never was truly in the cards, it was only vaguely hinted at in The Last Jedi by the Force mosaic in the Ahch-To temple. Balance is a complex and difficult subject; it would have been extremely difficult to develop it in the sequel trilogy together with introducing the new characters and giving the old ones closure.

However: if Ben is brought back in the next trilogy, his sacrifice for Rey will have been his atonement. If his role this time is not that of the villain but of the hero, it would reverse Anakin’s path and make clear that he no longer is the same man. Vader was redeemed, not rehabilitated. His grandson might still have the chance to go that way.

- Luke had promised Rey a third lesson, and it happened. He also had promised Ben to “see him around”, which has not taken place yet.

- On Tatooine, Rey watches the twin suns setting, same as Luke before he met the other half of his soul (his twin sister) again.

- The studios had said that the sequels would be “very much like the prequels”; the prequels were a tragedy where the Dark Side (Palpatine) won that was followed by a fairy tale where the Light Side won.

- The Skywalker saga is closed, so if Ben comes back it would be justified by his being a Solo, i.e. the story of his own family and not his grandfather’s.

- Given the parallels with Beauty and the Beast, the Beast died before the broken spell brought him back, making him a wholly new person - his past identity, purged and redeemed.

- George Lucas repeatedly said that the prequels and the classics belong together as one narrative, with Anakin Skywalker at its center. First news of the next trilogy came up with The Last Jedi. Since there are strong parallels between Ben and his grandfather, we may assume that this six-chapter instalment will be his; Anakin also was left for dead but came back with a wholly different role and name.

- When Anakin was reborn as Darth Vader, he “rose” slowly from the ground, clad in his black armor. Ben fell to the ground abruptly and shed his black clothes, disappearing. This could be another clue. (It was also already speculated that Leia’s body dissolved exactly in this moment because she gave her life-force to her son for him to have another chance to live. Both Han and Luke had done what they could to atone for their remorse towards Ben; this might be her turn.)

- Much as I love Luke Skywalker, I can understand that Lucas did not see him as the saga’s protagonist. The overall arch is not so much about Luke’s heroism than about Anakin’s redemption and atonement. It is unusual because we expect the story’s “hero” to be the one who kills the Bad Guy; and indeed Anakin is, because he kills Palpatine in the end, the twist being that technically he is also a villain though not the archvillain.

- Ben had promised Anakin he would finish what he started. Anakin had been meant to bring Balance to the Force, and he had started a family. Until now, Ben did neither.

- If Ben and Rey are a dyad, i.e. one soul in two bodies, then Rey is in urgent need of her soulmate for her future tasks. She has her friends of course, but none of them gets her the way he did.

So, I still see reason to hope for a continuation, and, hopefully, satisfying conclusion of The Last Jedi’s themes.

  Film production: on a side note…

In the Nineties, Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale were the directors both of Beauty and the Beast and Atlantis: two more different stories are hardly imaginable with regard to everything - drawing style, setting, characters, development, music etc. This outcome can’t have been only due to the director’s choices, there must have been a wholly different idea behind both films right from the beginning. Just saying.

[oldfashioned-lovergirl]

What Star Wars means to me.

(I recommend listening to this as you read)

I don't remember the first time watched Star Wars, because I was a kid when it happened.

I was a kid when my parents told me the story they knew when they were young, set in a galaxy far far away.

I was a kid when I met Luke and Leia and Han and Chewbacca and Darth Vader and Yoda and Obi-Wan and Anakin and C3-PO and R2-D2 for the first time.

I was a kid when I was enchanted by the two suns of Tatooine.

I was a kid when I was scared of Darth Vader and his Imperial March.

I was a kid when I discovered he was Luke’s father.

I was a kid when Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie were almost died in the trash compactor.

I was a kid when C3-PO kept complaining about his life.

I was a kid when I tried to reach the remoter with the force.

I was a kid when the padawan Anakin and his master Obi-Wan were looking for a shapeshifter in a bar.

I was a kid when I saw the depths of the sea of Naboo.

I was a kid when I wondered about the cold of Hoth.

I was a kid when Leia and Han teached me love.

I was a kid when I imitated the General Grievous every time he was on screen.

I was a kid when Boba Fett fell into the mouth of the Sarlacc.

I was a kid when Obi-Wan cut Darth Maul in half.

I was a kid when I screamed “Anakin! Don’t do it!”.

I was a kid when Leia faced his father.

I was a kid when Qui-Gon died.

I was a kid when Anakin won the pod race.

I was a kid when Han shot firts.

I was a kid when Windu killed Jango Fett.

I was a kid when Padme and Anakin played together in the grass and fell in love.

I was a kid when Yoda made me laugh so much while training Luke.

I was a kid when Han answered the stormtroopers: “We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?”.

I was a kid when instead of “yes” I always answered “roger roger”.

I was a kid when Padme was pregnant.

I was a kid when I met Lando Calrissian.

I was a kid when Vader pushed the Emperor Palpatine in the Death Star II reactor.

I was a kid when the rebellion won the battle of Yavin IV.

I was a kid when a half naked princess Leia choked Jabba The Hutt with a chain.

I was a kid when Padme, Anakin and Obi-Wan fought monsters in the arena like gladiators.

I was a kid when the Ewoks made C3-PO their leader.

I was a kid when my sister and I fought with gift paper tubes pretending they were lightsabers.

I was a kid when Han Solo was hibernated in the carbonite.

I was a kid when my teacher asked where my homework was and I answered: “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.”

I was a kid when I sometimes sang the cantina song.

I was a kid when I cried at the end of The Return of the Jedi.

I was a kid when with my little friend I watched Obi-Wan and Anakin dueling in the midst of the incandescent lava of Mustafar.

I was a kid when I heard Anakin screaming “I HATE YOU!”.

I was a kid when Vader chose the light side at the end.

And every time I watch it I'm a kid again.

Star Wars was my childhood and it determined my adulthood. I’m now used to read fast because the titles always ran fast at the beginning of the movies and I had to read them all. I now sing that iconic soundtracks when I’m lost in thoughts. Me and my family use Star Wars jokes among us that we know others can’t understand, and every Christmas we watch the movies all together, and dream about that fantastic world that will stay forever in our hearts.

No movie or show will ever make me feel like Star Wars does. I feel home when I watch it, I feel like everything will go well in my life and those characters and those worlds will always be with me, to teach me and to comfort me, no matter what.

May the force be with Star Wars fans of all generations, always.

[bethanyeliseart]

Rise of Skywalker, a movie I genuinely loved!

Ok so I've had almost a full day to think about my thoughts on Rise of Skywalker. Right from leaving the cinema, I knew that I loved this movie! Sure it had it's flaws but every single Star Wars movie does and I like to think the positives outweigh them. It had amazing cinematography, the adventure was there, and all the emotions that come with Star Wars.

SPOILERS AHEAD

I think first I'll talk about the flaws because I love ending things on a cheery note. First, Rose Tico was pushed to the sidelines and I wish we got to see more of her character arc. I think after seeing the backlash some fans had for Rose, JJ was afraid to have her in the spotlight. She could've done more. I would've liked to see her interact more with Finn even platonically. And interact with Rey.

Second, I'm a huge Anakin Skywalker fan so part of me feels like they disrespected his arc in this movie with Palpatine being back. I kinda felt like it was all for nothing. But then I did see some other reviews that said he brought balance for a long time, but balance isn't permanent. So that post brought me some peace on that, thanks to who wrote it (I can't remember who, sorry!).

Third, Ben Solo's death. So I'm not sure if I just hate it because I loved his character or if it really wasn't a good decision. Star Wars stuck to their algorithm of redeeming the villain but to only kill him seconds later. We already saw this with Anakin. Did we have to see it again? Then again it was really meaningful that he sacrificed himself for Rey. Maybe he's still alive somewhere, idk I'm in denial still.

Ok so now onto things I liked/loved which is a lot, but I'm not good with reviews so I might not name all!

First I must say that I loved Rey and Ben's relationship and chemistry. There isn't too much dialogue, but you can see how much they care for one another through expressions. Props to Adam Driver for conveying so much in just looks and actions. The way he looked when he found Rey's dead body was so heartbreaking. He looked so vulnerable.

Also the way Rey was so relieved to see Ben after he brought her back. She smiled like he was this bright light. And oh my, my heart fluttered when they kissed. It's probably just me being the huge romantic that I am, but that was one of my favorite parts. From the beginning they had a strong emotional connection. In TLJ we can see how strongly they feel for one another. Ben wants her to be by his side constantly and really opens up to her. Rey does the same. She let's her self open up about her past and desire to belong somewhere/someone to Ben. In my mind, the buildup was there. It saddens me that it had to be a tragic romance, but Star Wars always has that tragedy. Ben also showed that hope leads somewhere. Rey held onto hope that he would return to the light and he did. He was at peace when he died.

Second thing I loved was the trio of Rey, Finn, and Poe in this movie! We have been waiting to see them all in action together since TFA. And JJ did not disappoint. The banter between the three flowed nicely and was comedic. It felt like a family. It was also so nice to see Rey interacting with Poe! You can tell they have spent a lot of time with each other. For those who think Rey is alone, she has these two guys for her family.💛

The scene where all the ships showed up last minute gave me Endgame vibes and I loved it. Especially when the main theme started.

The entire be with me scene in the throne room was chilling and awestrucking! (wow that first part of that sentence just threw back to GoT😨) When Rey looks up into the sky and the lightning fades to the calm and serene stars I too felt so relaxed. The soft music was so lovely, John Williams never fails. Hearing the jedi voices was what had me smiling like an idiot, especially hearing Anakin's voice saying "Bring balance as I once did". (I guess that's proving that his arc wasn't completely ruined). I would've loved to see Hayden Christensen, but I appreciate that we got to hear his voice.

Was anyone else so surprised to see Han even as a memory? It's not even that I was surprised because of how it goes into the plot, because it makes perfect sense for Ben to look back and remember his last interaction with his father. His father would be the key in him returning to the light. It just surprised me because I did not expect Harrison Ford to show up on set of Star Wars ever again😂. It was a very nice and welcome surprise though. From the moment he killed Han, you could tell Ben felt regret and remorse. I also loved that Leia reached out to her son one last time, showing Ben that his family has not given up on him.

LEIA! It was so awesome to see her training as a jedi with a lightsaber! That flashback gave me so many chills. I loved how Leia continued to train Rey even though she knew she was related to Palpatine. It shows that Leia doesn't judge someone based off blood. Leia loved Rey and had faith in her. People can't help where they came from.

It was so sad to see Leia die but we all know it was going to happen. Chewie's reaction was so emotional and made me shed a tear. The galaxy will remember Princess Leia and Carrie Fisher forever.❤

The Ending

Overall, I loved the ending. Sure I'm still devastated that Ben is dead, but looking at the big picture it was good/satisfying.

People are saying that Rey didn't grieve Ben and she moved on too quick. I think she knows that he will always be with her because no one's ever really gone. He is one with the force. (Ngl, part of me likes to believe he is alive out there somewhere or waiting to come back).

Also as I said before Rey still has people she loves! Finn and Poe are still alive and there for her.

This is just the way I saw it, but I don't think Rey plans to stay on Tatooine very long/permanently. Rey didn't start and end the same way. She has a family now (Poe and Finn) and knows who she is. I think she went there to pay respect to the Skywalker family, it is where it all started with Shmi and her son, Anakin. She buried the lightsabers because they are no longer needed (her new lightsaber is beautiful btw) And don't hate me, but I don't mind her calling herself Rey Skywalker. She felt a deep connection to the family and both Luke and Leia took her under their wing. She doesn't care for/need the name Palpatine. It's not who she is. Which brings me to people being mad that Rey wasn't a nobody. I respect their reasons and everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but I don't think it hurt her character arc. Rey being related to the worst Star Wars villain and still not falling to his dark ways shows how strong she is! She defeated him and brought balance once again to the galaxy despite being his blood.

The ending shot was beautiful and was a perfect way to end the Skywalker saga. The binary sunset and theme was ethereal. It's how the movies started and it's how it ended.

Star Wars is tragic, romantic, and hopeful. This movie showed all of those things. We lost Ben but he felt love again with Rey. Hope was restored with him turning back to the light and Rey defying expectations of a Palpatine. Personally, I loved this movie so much and it did not let me down.

Feel free to add anything you liked about the movie!

[science-lings]

I'm glad you had fun doing it because I had so much fun reading it! what about some headcanons about Tony and Peter spending some sort of holiday together? may and pepper would be good aswell!

okay, let’s do a few of my favorite holidays. 

Pride Month: 

Tony already has a bisexual-pride iron man suit featuring glitter and a rainbow confetti canon so he can fly over the crowd and shower the gays with colorful bits of paper. All of which are biodegradable and disintegrate before the parade is even over. He flys around and says hi to all the kids and is generally like his iron man 2 kind of presenter but like more queer. 

Peter’s first pride was as spider-man, he worked on his suit with Tony for a month and it’s not for fighting. Its fabric changes color on command so he can go between trans pride colors to ace pride colors to bi pride colors to rainbow and he can’t stop changing them the whole time. He also has a trans pride flag as a cape the whole time. He does a whole lot of interacting with people and spending his money on pins and has too many of them at this point. He sticks to Tony’s back to fly around and waving at the people below. 

May and Pepper, who do not like hurling in the air but still like being a part of things, end up taking charge of the stark industries funded avengers float (the main six if we want to care about civil war or not idc) each with a different pride-themed outfit even if they didn’t completely co-respond with the avengers actual identities. Like I headcanon Steve as straight but maybe trans idk, he’s a confused old man that has to take several days to research the gays and then realizes OH THAT’S A SLUR WHOOPS. 

I don’t know that the avenger's float would look like but if spider man is part of it, he’s on iron man’s back and even in paper mache looks very excited. The next year they go as themselves and go all out with face paint and stuff. Tony is already good at makeup so he gives Peter some crazy blue, purple, and pink eyeshadow and even some sharp eyeliner. They went all out with outfits and for some reason, no one could recognize Tony Stark when he has so much makeup on and fishnet tights. May bleached and dyed her hair rainbow because Tony said he’d pay for it and she was not one to pass up free fun. Pepper got a rainbow pantsuit and rainbow heart glasses and resumed work as normal. She didn’t bring it up. 

Halloween:

Tony is experienced in elaborate Halloween costumes that only celebrities can afford. It started at MIT before that he wasn’t allowed to do anything for Halloween because Howard is a dick. Tony has gone from everything from a demon and a vampire to slutty Captain America and slutty Darth Vader. He thinks he’s funny. He went to the superhero-themed met gala as a gender-bent black widow, he dyed his hair red and wore classy black leather. That was the year he convinced Natasha to come and she wore an Iron Man themed dress that showed off her strong arms and featured a cloak. It also featured a glowing fully functioning arc reactor because Tony didn’t do things halfway.  

May had always helped Peter with making his own Halloween costumes and since he's pretty proven to be good at sewing, he usually makes his own. Usually, they weren’t amazing but he worked hard on them. He turned some old dented metal from a destroyed car into a partially functioning iron man suit that he wore for several Halloweens and refuses to show Tony but eventually it just happens. 

Together with Tony’s fashion sense and Peter’s enthusiasm, they become an unstoppable Halloween team and go all out every single year. Tony made a more family-friendly Darth Vader as Peter went as Luke Skywalker, both with real lightsabers that they had way too much fun making. However, he couldn’t take it to school. Thankfully a Han Solo flavored Ned and a for some reason Goth Princess Leia themed MJ came over to Stark Tower for a chill Halloween party and got so see the lightsabers. Under heavy supervision by an Obi-Wan Kenobi Aunt May. She only withstood the fake beard for pictures.  

Pepper goes to work as a clown every year and her only explanation is that its symbolism for her life. Before she was CEO she dressed up as a strawberry as for a while that was the scariest thing to her. 

EXTRA:

Tony has a massive panic attack every Fourth of July. Then he has cheeseburgers with his family that May makes because Tony would find a way to start a fire and no one wants to deal with that. 

Tony has a panic attack every Christmas as it’s the time that always reminds him of his parent's death. Then he watches the grinch four times in a row. He has memorized the whole film as a coping mechanism. 

May and Peter go out for Italian every valentine’s day and reminisce on happy story about ben before getting sad and gorging on breadsticks again. 

okay this is long again whoopsies 

[spell-cleaver]

(Luke Palpatine AU) Since becoming Emperor, Luke had grown accustomed to the fact that people were going to spy on every little thing he did, so when he started watching a holo drama, he knew that it would not last long. What he didn't expect was for Nova to join him.

Previous parts on the masterpost here!

Since becoming Emperor, Luke had grown accustomed to the fact that people were going to spy on every little thing he did, so when he started watching a holo drama, he knew that it would not last long. What he didn’t expect was for Nova to join him.

But there she was sitting next to him, just as swaddled in blankets as he was, the long colo claw fish V— Luke had received the previous night acting as a pillow long enough for both of them to use. The rest of his gifts were snuggled around them on the large sofa as well, and Luke felt so… comfortable, lying atop cuddly toys and watching something pathetic and ridiculous like this, like he was half his age.

When the episode finished, Nova glanced at him. “Do you want to watch the next one?”

Luke blinked. “I can?”

“Of course you can,” she said simply and patiently. “Do you want to?”

He glanced at the holo projector. “It’s not a good show.”

“It’s really not. But it’s fun to watch.”

“And it’s getting late.”

“Yes.”

“And I shouldn’t waste my time on this sort of trash.”

Nova pouted. “That’s your father talking.”

“It’s me talking—”

“C'mon, you’re fourteen. You should be having sleepovers and watching trashy shows until your eyes bleed.” She swatted his arm. “Do you want to watch the next one?”

“I— no,” he decided, getting up. The nexu toy tumbled off his lap and landed on top of the holoprojector, its face being cast into odd, slightly comical shadows by the blue light. “No, I don’t want to.”

Nova said, “Hmmm,” and watched him go.

*

And then the next morning, she said to him, “How many times how you spoken to someone your own age?”

He looked at her. She knew the answer to that. “Zero,” he said.

She wrinkled her nose.

“Well then.” She patted him on the shoulder and walked away. “We should fix that.”

*

“Nova,” Luke said that afternoon, staring at the two teenagers sitting awkwardly on one of the sofas in the entrance chamber to his quarters, as far away from each other as they could get without standing up and being explicitly rude, “what did you do.”

It had to have been her. No one else would’ve done this.

“You said you’d never spoken to someone your own age,” she said cheerfully. Luke flushed berry-red, and hated the look one of the teenagers, a girl dressed in white with a bun of dark braids, gave him at that. It was far too close to pity.

“These two agreed to meet you, and you just have to watch one movie together,” she badgered, taking Luke’s shoulder and steering him closer. He felt like a five year old. “If you decided you all hate each other, then you never have to socialise again, but until then, please give it a chance, Luke.”

She whispered. “It’ll be good for you.”

Luke swallowed tightly, hating the way the two teenagers—likely infinitely cleverer, more socialised, more experienced than him—were gazing at him. It was probably scorn—scorn for the child emperor who couldn’t even talk to his peers—

Then Nova ushered them all into the living room of his quarters and sat them down around the holoprojector. They each took separate chairs or sofas, and Luke was intimately aware of the confused glances his Noghri bodyguards were giving and receiving from the newcomers, but he stubbornly tried not to flush again.

“So, uh,” he said. “I’m Luke.”

“We know,” the girl said.

He nodded. “Right.”

She took pity on him and smiled. “This is Zevulon Veers,” she said, and the other teenager—a tall, dark-haired human—gave her a look.

“I was going to introduce myself, thank you.”

“Well, now you don’t have to.”

“Any relation to General Veers?” Luke asked tentatively.

Zevulon… didn’t frown, but he didn’t smile, either. “My father. I hardly ever see him.”

Ah. If only Luke had had that pleasure with his father, he might not have disappointed him as much.

“I met him yesterday,” he offered. “Apparently Vader roped him into teaching me how to shoot.”

“You don’t know how to shoot?” asked the girl. Her voice was loud, regal, and it brimmed with confidence. Luke felt like a shadow next to her.

“No,” he said tightly. “My training never covered that. But Vader and Nova thought it would be a good thing to learn now.” He decided not to mention the whole fight there’d been about that. “The general was a good teacher.”

Zevulon nodded. “He is. When he’s around.”

“When he’s not off slaughtering people?” the girl chimed in.

Zevulon tensed. “Excuse me?”

“What? He’s a general. That’s what he does.”

“It’s his job, he’s good at it. Doesn’t mean you get to insult him for it.” He bristled. “Who even are you? It’s pretty creepy that you know who I am but never thought to return the—”

“I,” she said, glaring daggers, “am Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan.”

Oh.

That made sense—Luke recognised her now. She’d been dragged in front of holocams just as much as he had as a kid.

Zevulon snorted. “Ah. That explains it.”

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. She puffed herself up. “And what does that mean?”

“You’re all Rebel sympathisers on Alderaan, aren’t you? No wonder you hate my father.”

“We're—” That seemed to have taken the power out of her engines. She grimaced and said, tensely, “That’s not true, and I never said I hated him—”

“No, you just—”

“Can you two… not fight?” Luke asked. “It’s kinda awkward sitting here watching it.”

Zevulon stopped immediately. Leia’s mouth opened and closed for a moment before she did the same. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

Luke winced. “Don’t do that. Don’t call me Majesty. I’m just Luke.”

The princess actually smiled a little, at that. “And I’m just Leia.”

“I’ve met your father as well,” he said to her, smiling back. “During the talks with the senators. He was nice. Had some good ideas.”

She nodded. “That’s my father.”

He turned his head. “And Zevulon—”

“Zev.” He fidgeted. “While we’re exchanging names, I’m just Zev.”

Luke nodded. “Alright.”

Then he glanced at the holoprojector. “Do either of you know what you want to watch?”

*

“This is stupid,” Leia said, her mouth full of cake. “Monarchies don’t do arranged marriages anymore, that’s archaic.”

“Hey, you’re the one who randomly decided we should introduce Luke to daytime holonet shows. It’s called Crown of Stars, what did you expect it would be like?”

“I have heard of a few arranged marriages in recent years, mainly between magnates and industrial leaders and Moffs and stuff,” Luke admitted, reaching for the tray of food Nova had sent a droid in to deliver for them. The jogan fruit was sweet when he bit into it; juice dribbled down his chin. “But yeah, it’s not that common. And why does she need to marry that guy anyway? His system doesn’t exactly have any resources that her family would exactly need, and they’re on the edge of Wild Space.”

“It’s a holodrama, it’s not meant to be logical!”

Luke shrugged. “Shouldn’t they at least try?”

“They’re more interested in the drama,” Leia said, drawing out the word a tad longer than needed. “To keep their viewers hooked.”

“To keep their viewers confused?”

“That too.”

“Oh stars, the wedding scene.” Zev cringed away. “I can’t watch.”

“Getting invested, Veers?”

“She’s about to marry someone twice her age while her one true love watches in agony! I can’t bear it!”

Leia rolled her eyes. “Then let’s turn it off—”

A pillow smacked her in the face.

“Hey!” She glared at Luke.

“Shhh, it’s getting tense.”

She chucked the pillow back at him. He threw himself against the sofa to dodge it.

“Oh no,” Zev whimpered, peering through his fingers, “he’s gonna kiss her…”

“Wait, look!” Luke leaned forwards. “Is that—? I don’t understand.”

“Shhh, let it finish.”

“The lover burst in and read out a law that declared the marriage illegal,” Leia drawled. “A law which doesn’t exist, by the way—”

“Oh, that’s a sweet ending.” Luke smiled at the projector.

“They’re kissing and riding off into the sunset together, it’s literally the most cliché ending in the galaxy.”

“But it’s sweet.”                            

Leia had to smile when she glanced at the holo again—at the woman’s beaming face.

“Okay,” she admitted, “it is pretty sweet.” She glanced at Luke and Zev, and cackled when she saw they’d both inched their chairs and sofas closer to the holo, as well as closer together. “You sappy romantics.”

The credits began to roll.

Luke glanced at the time. “Uhhh,” he said, “the time Nova said she was going to lock us in for is up. If you don’t want to stay any longer…”

“Are you kicking us out?” Leia asked. Zev looked hurt.

“No! I just thought… if you did want to leave…”

“Well.” Leia grabbed the remote. “He can leave, but I’m not going to go until you’ve been introduced to a holonet show that is actually good. How about—”

“Are you kidding?” Zev burst out. “They haven’t resolved the secret letter arc yet, and the Count is still missing! Luke has to finish watching the series!”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“One against one.” Zev crossed his arms. “You’re a senator, Leia—”

“Aspiring senator, I’m actually an apprentice legislator—”

“—you like voting. Luke gets the deciding vote.”

Luke smiled. “Crown of Stars.”

“No!”

“There’s too many plotlines that haven’t been wrapped up yet!”

Leia glared at Zev. “You’ve ruined his taste forever.”

“Shhh,” Luke said as the theme began to play. “It’s starting.”

Send me the first sentence of a scene from this AU and I’ll continue it!

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[darkesttimelinestuff]

7,713 words

Mature

Men make houses. Women build homes. –Proverb.  

Come come, come out tonight. Come come, come out tonight. –Sherry, The Four Seasons  

***

Oh, Halloween. How it coaxes all from their shells, a come-hither seduction of ghouls and their admirers. Whether one chooses to be a witch or a princess, a criminal or a cowboy – to paint their face and knock on doors, to drink until they are but pumpkins, mouths filled with their pumpkin guts – it is all done under the otherworldly spell of the undead, the souls that ascend from their place in the basement to play marionette games with the dolls who inhabit the first floor.

Fox Mulder has, over the years, made an exceptional doll. Spock, then Captain Kirk, then Spock again. Several years of him doing nothing but sitting alone and staring out the window, ignoring the pull of a fairy costume resting in a trunk in the attic. Even then he had been a prime target; Halloween souls feed on elation, but will take misery in a pinch. His misery tasted sweet like a tootsie pop. The saints love tootsie pops, all the waiting and the work. The sinners prefer Reeses.

There were others when the memories began to fade. Han Solo. Han Solo. Paul Stanley from KISS, though his first girlfriend ended up wearing most of the makeup. Han Solo. Doctor John Watson, although years later he would grit his teeth and mutter I should have been Holmes. Serpico at a Hoover party, the last one he went to. No one got it. Then Han Solo every year he chose to celebrate after, and by then he finally had Princess Leia at his side.

The halloween of 2016, he slips into his finest costume yet.

Fox Mulder. Hopeless romantic.

On one arm, he carries a bag that is filled with good wine, cheap wine glasses, and assorted fruits, cheeses, and fancy chocolate. He has convinced his partner that the actual contents are a P.K.E. meter (a psychokinetic energy meter, for those who have not seen the documentary Ghostbusters), a thermographic camera, an audio recorder, sage, a lighter, his gun.

On the other arm, or underneath it, is his partner. Who is unsure about such open gestures of affection while they are technically on the clock, even after all the years of steaming up their steakouts, but is not stopping him, and is possibly even snuggling back as the October chill descends.

“This is not a love story, Scully,” he warns, pulling her closer as they follow the long, winding pathway up their destination. Her body heat is his favorite temperature, even when it’s ice cold. “It is a story of lies, obsession, betrayal, and murder.”

“I think I’ve heard this one.” She bumps his arm with her shoulder and smiles up at him, her lips wine deep under the bright moon.

Their shoes are silent on the stone and disappear under the layers of fog that curl and cozy around them like amorous smoke. He tugs her closer still, filling his nose with the woodsy scent of her shampoo.

“The early 1960s, Scully. Free love was just a storm a’brewin in the air, and sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll were waiting on the doorsteps  of American counterculture, waiting to be invited in. Doo-wop was still a prominent feature on family radio stations. The Beatles had yet to write their own songs, and Paul McCartney wouldn’t smoke his first joint until 1964. It was a wholesome time, Scully. You would’ve loved it.”

“I loved Rubber Soul,” she argues.

He rubs her shoulder. “But it wasn’t all sock hops and sweet Jackie Kennedy. We were fighting a war with Russia, a war of discovery, and losing to the success of Sputnik. The U.S. invaded Cuba, got their asses kicked, and were the laughing stock of the world. In the veins of America, in the buses and lunch counters, the streets and in the schools, thrummed the blood of a movement. The Civil Rights movement. The early 1960s was a time of immense change.”

They were getting closer and closer to the scene where it all took place: a sprawling, overly-windowed ranch style home, its angular roof sloping into flatlands. In the quiet darkness, the cars and the rest of the world all celebrating miles behind them, the house appears white, almost bleached. But when the sun comes out it will reveal its truth: baby pink painted wood.

“And situated in all of this madness, this time between tumult and revolution, hatred and love, was a woman named Sherry Battersea.” She hmm’s. That means Mulder, I love your stories. Keep going.

He does.

They arrive at the front door – solid mahogany, undistressed. The steps leading up to the porch are made from brick, unhassled by the years of disuse. With the moon hanging overhead, vines creeping onto the roof, and the glare of (assumed) white bathed in midnight blue and the shadows of trees rustling above, it looks absolutely– “Isn’t she beautiful?” Mulder whispers, moving his hand to Scully’s waist.

Precisely.

***

It’s all a bunch of phooey, if you ask him.

Didn’t expect that, did you?

He spent weeks finding the right place. The runner ups were all either too far away, too haunted, or not haunted enough. He wanted something with history, something still alive in the hearts of believers – but nothing verifiable, and nothing with a real reputation.

He wanted a pretty lie. Most ghost stories, he will begrudgingly admit, are indeed pretty lies.

He found the Battersea house on a subreddit dedicated to paranormal encounters, and this one hadn’t even managed to get twenty upvotes. He was number twenty. The Battersea home is in Virginia, which heavily swayed his opinion in its favor, and from the pictures posted the years of abandonment had not left it dangerous, which put it above two other options off his list. Making love to Scully while the roof collapses over their heads is a fantasy he put to rest many moons ago, about the time he realized they could just do it on a bed.

They roam the house with their flashlights, Mulder’s low voice playing in her ear as he finishes his story. “Sherry’s husband returned from war, but he never returned to her. She made this home for him and he wouldn’t even grant her the decency of staying the night.”

The biggest draw of the place had been its pristine condition. No graffiti stains the wood-paneled walls; the rooms were all intact. The interior design is a certified blast from the past, from the richly carpeted floors and textured rugs to the lucite furniture, pops of neon that splash under their flashlights. It is colorfully but rather tastefully decorated. It reminds him a bit of a movie set, which is another place he has been thoroughly laid by this woman.

As they move through the house, however, he realizes with mild disappointment the utter lack of haunting thrill. Nothing shifts in the night to give them pause. No dirt or dust to brush away, no holes in the walls or rot in the furniture. It doesn’t even smell old. It all feels more like a vacation home, some sort of themed romantic getaway, and they’re wading behind the scenes with the power turned off.

It’s not what he planned, but he’ll take it.

“Miss Battersea was a fashionable lady, keeping up with the times faster than they could come to her. She had a leopard skin pill-box hat before Jackie O had a leopard skin pill-box hat, and was dead by the time Bob Dylan could think to write a song about it.” Oh, that long, mid-century sectional couch. It might be white or a gawdy turquoise color. Whatever it is, he’s going to have her there. “She was a smart woman, too. The head of all of her many bookclubs. All of the books you see in here are hers.” His runs his beam over behind the couch, where the entire back wall is lined with books, and they move along. “And there are more in the den.

“She did everything she could to make her husband love her. She danced to his favorite records. She cooked for him and did his laundry. She cut her skirt an inch shorter with each passing trend.” They stand side by side, halted in the kitchen doorway. He turns his head and lets his eyes dip into her blouse. “I’ve been very appreciative of your new work wardrobe, by the the way.”

“Mulder,” she chastises, pulling her shirt down for better access. He laughs loudly at that, places his hand on the small of her back and leads her through the kitchen.

“She was driving herself crazy, trying to make him love her the way she loved him. And oh, did she love him, her sweet Maximus Battersea.” More wood paneling, and modular, pastel appliances that appear as if they haven’t aged a day since their prime. In the middle is a solid island with a geometric vase of dead flowers. This is where he’ll lay out all the food. Should’ve gotten flowers, he mopes to himself, but remembers that Scully doesn’t have a lot of patience for them. “They were high school sweethearts, and when he was 18 he was drafted off in the Korean War.

“Something was wrong when he came back. He got a job at some juicing plant working the machines, but showed a savvy for bossing people around that made itself known to the owners. He moved up quickly to supervisor and then warden. He and his little wife then bought this house, and Sherry made it her life’s work to take good care of it. Not a speck of dirt to be found.” Even to this day. They both marvel at the cleanliness.  “Dishes were done as soon as they were used. Food was on the table for when he got home, still hot enough to serve. But he never got home to her at night. He would spend his nights at the bar, and then he became a favored customer at the Grand Major Hotel.”

“Oooooh. I would’ve killed the bastard,” Scully whistles, opening up a cabinet and standing on her tiptoes to peer in. He steps in behind her and lifts her up, chuckling when she screams and elbows him in the chest.

“Hmm, I know you would,” he mumbles in her ear, smacking a little kiss underneath it. All the glassware in the cabinet, chipless and clean as a whistle, clinks and jingles while she moves her hand through it. “You’re a jealous monster. So was Sherry Battersea.”

He’s making some of this shit up. He doesn’t know if she liked to read or if she was all that beautiful a woman, but the details make the story. “I’m not jealous,” Scully snorts, and he bites her neck as punishment for her blatant lie while dropping her back on her feet.

He wonders, as he pins her against the counter, if she’s caught on to his plans. He sets the flashlight down in front of her and snakes his arms around her from behind. “One night, he did come back to this big old house. But he was with someone else.”

“Oh, I would’ve killed him,” she repeats, tilting her head to get his lips on her neck. His nose brushes her cheek and he grins; she definitely knows. “I would’ve killed her.”

“And that’s what she did,” he says, kneading her hips. “They were on the couch, still mostly in their clothes. She snuck up from behind, and with all the power of her rage, she pushed one of her many bookcases right on top of them, crushing them to death.”

“I would’ve waited until they were naked. More humiliating.”

“Jealous. Monster.” Mulder says fondly, breaking away to grab her arm. “Now they say that Sherry Battersea remains in this house, long after she was convicted and put to death. She gave her life to building a home. It’s fitting that she give it her death as well.”

“And that’s what we’re here to investigate?” She says, narrowing her eyes.

“We’re here to say hi to old Sherry,” Mulder lies, urging her along. Neither of them are scared, despite of their previous history with ghosts. He’s not sure if Scully even remembers. That house had not been a pretty lie. It had only been filled with ugly truths.

On their way up the stairs, pausing at each creak even though the foundation is craftful and sturdy, a tune plays in his head. “Sherry… Sherry baby…” he sings, letting his voice go comically high. It’s too loud in the quiet house surrounded by nothing, and Scully turns around to slap a palm over his mouth.

“That’s a bad Frankie Valli impression,” she says, arching her eyebrow. “Want me to make it better?”

He kisses her palm. She takes it away and continues her charge up the stairs. When she’s far away enough, he finishes the line in his ghastly falsetto, voice cracking.

“Sherry, won’t you come out tonight?”

Come come, come out tonight. Come come. Come out tonight.

***

In the den on the other side of the house, a lightbulb flickers. The glow it casts under the lampshade is a soft, pinky red, the color of a deep blush. The winds caress the house with the sigh of a new lover. There is a soft scritching noise, a click of a record sliding into place. Static, and then…

Sherry, Sherry baby! Sherry, Sherry baby!

***

“I was listening to particle physicist Brian Cox on the radio the other day, talking with Neil deGrasse Tyson,” Scully says, sipping coffee from her thermos. She shivers a little in her suede jacket and Mulder regrets not finding somewhere a little warmer. Temperatures are at an all time high this fall in Virginia, but it’s still uncomfortable. He plans on warming her up anyway. “He’s a Professor at the University of Manchester and works on the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. You’ve probably listened to him before on a podcast. He tackles a lot of different concepts in science fiction. Frankenstein, for instance.”

“Corpse reanimation is my favorite,” Mulder says. “I know a lot about it.” She pets his hair and hands him her mug. He drinks from it gratefully. Another thing to regret. He hadn’t brought his own mug.

“Specifically, he was saying that ghosts could not exist because of what the collider tells us. You know what it does. It essentially uses a network of very complex, high-powered magnets – the largest, most expensive machine in the world – that are continuously switched on and off to send particles flying at almost the speed of light. The purpose of it is to find out what everything is made if. The particles collide and emit smaller particles, which we can observe, along with their interactions with other particles.”

“We used it to discover the Higgs Boson particle, which tells us how particles get their mass. The God Particle. It was a discovery over half a century in the making.”

“Mostly, yes. The argument was that if ghosts were real, they would emit particles that should be detectable in the Large Hadron Collider, and those particles would be able interact with the particles that make us up.”

Mulder’s silent for a moment, thinking. “What if the LHC isn’t powerful enough to detect those particles?”

“Mulder.” She licks her lips and angles her body towards him on the couch, looking into his eyes. Incredulity is still her best look. “This machine has been able to reconstruct temperatures and states of matter that only existed a microsecond after the birth of the universe, before it changed states. It is a very powerful machine.”

“But it still hasn’t answered everything,” he points out, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, we still know nothing about dark matter. And dark matter is called dark matter because we know nothing about dark matter, only that it could explain why galaxies might contain less mass than what we’ve calculated.” He nods at her, taking another sip. “Maybe all that extra mass is a bunch of ghosts. Bet you never thought of that.”

“Mmm. Your souls in the starlight.” He scoots closer to her, slowly sliding his arm behind her on the back of the couch. When he leans forward, she says, “Mulder, maybe we should split up.”

“What?” He says, not pulling back. There’s enough light coming in from the windows that he can see her clearly, her noble profile shadowed and unshadowed as he moves towards her. He smells her perfume… and pine sol. “Now why would we do that? Last time we split up during a case like this you shot me.”

“I didn’t shoot you. You shot me.” So she does remember. She’s still talking when his lips are close enough to brush hers. “But how are we gonna catch this ghost sitting down?”

“Well, we don’t have to be sitting down.” He kisses her, a chaste, sweet little thing. He pulls back an inch and kisses her again. And again. And again. “We can.” Kiss. “Stop sitting.” Kiss. “Anytime you want.”

“Mulder.” Kiss. “Where’s the ghost?” Kiss. “Where’s Sherry?” Kiss. She’s folding under his body weight, falling back into the remarkably undusty cushions. She cups his jaw in her small hands and kisses him for real, chasing the flicker of his tongue with her own. She stretches one leg behind him, lets the other fall off the couch.

He groans and shifts so that he’s nestled between her thighs. There is – so much he loves about kissing Scully. In a lot of ways he’s learning her all over again after the time they’ve spent apart. Her face is thinner, he can trace her bones with his fingers, but not that sickly thin it had been the day she walked out. Her hair got its shine back. She tastes like a day at the office, her coffee and Cliff bars and the Burt’s Bees lipstick she wears during the cold weather.

But. Kiss. Her hands are bunched up in his shirt, very much like she’s prepared to rip it off of him. But this is is going too fast. Kiss. He forces himself to break away, taking his hand out from under her blouse.

Trying to control her breathing, pupils dilated, she lifts her chin and licks his lips. “So you want me to shoot you this time around?”

He laughs and moves off of her, giving her space her to sit back up and fix her wrinkled clothing. He winces and struggles to rearrange his wayward dick. Men’s pants are so tight now. He misses the freedom of the 90s.

“I uh. So here’s,” he pauses, rubbing a hand over his jaw. “Here’s the thing. There is no ghost.”

She blinks slowly. He wants to move a lock of silky red hair out of her eye, but keeps his hands to himself as she thinks things through. “You brought me to an abandoned house to… what? Make out with me?”

“Well, no. I mean yes. But I have…” All these years and this stuff still makes him tongue tied. “Libations. And… mood music.”

She raises her eyebrows, but her eyes are softer. “The Monster Mash?”

“The Prince version, yeah.” He leers at her. “It was a graveyard smash.”

“Oh my god,” she groans, letting her head fall back on the cushions.

“Think about it. The way I see it, Halloween is our holiday, right? Mr. and Mrs. Spooky.”

“No one ever called me Mrs. Spooky.”

“I did. All the time.”

She smiles. “I guess it beats the time you set me on fire for Valentine’s Day.”

“I don’t want to kill the adrenaline here,” he says, partially damning himself for ruining it so early. He lost a good amount of blood to that kiss. “There could absolutely be a ghost here. I’m just saying this isn’t my most reliably sourced case.”

“Are any of them?” She sighs, but she reaches out to pat his shoulder. “Go grab us some libations and make me forget this conversation.”

He ducks down to kiss her cheek. “Yes ma’am.”

Taking his bag of goodies to the kitchen, he pulls out the wooden cutting board he brought along to serve everything  and all of the bags of pre-cut cheese, crackers, fruit and meat. He hums while he works. Hm. Hm hm. Hm hm. Hm hm. Hm. And it starts over, the notes twanging loudly in his mind. It is almost as if he could hear it being played through the walls – he feels it from the outside, rather than in his head. He blames it on his massive erection. He takes out the wine glasses and fills them up high enough to placate Scully and make his mother roll in her grave. Vineyard folk are serious about their wine.

He gets a good look at the kitchen as he works, transported back into a time he doesn’t know very well. The cottages on the Vineyard never kept up with any particular trend, opting instead for the timelessness of colonial whitewash and brown trim. They changed out maids and nannies like they’d change the air filters, and neither Teena nor Bill put effort into upkeep. Neither cared much for fidelity either he grimaces, and immediately feels bad for doing so.

If there is any truth to the tale, he aches for people like Sherry who gave their all and never knew when to take it back. He gets it. Sometimes you fixate on people. He had been a victim of it more than once, and now he’s the one waiting for the one he loves most to come back home.

He grabs the cutting board and the wine glasses, balancing them carefully, anchoring the stopped bottle in his armpit. The second bottle of wine and the dessert he’ll save for later are left on the counter. He hums his way back to the living room, his woman still sprawled out on the couch, waiting for him, and he forgets about Sherry.

Behind him, in the kitchen, there’s a flutter in the cabinets, sounds of gently moving ceramic. A pleasant, almost feminine noise, like tinkering laughter. Then there’s the pop of a cork.

The bottle moves, sliding to the end of the island. Then it rises into the air, bobbing up and down as if being carried by invisible hands.

Over the sink, the bottle upends. The glug-glug-glug of sweet red flows into the pipes. Just one glass’s worth.

The air is warmer, somehow.

Like a full body flush.

***

He sweeps her over the creaking floorboards, her cheek pressed to his chest. The cold has left them. His phone sits on the sleek, white coffee table, and his Elvis tunes play, his Dylan, some acoustic hits. She nuzzles in closer and hums along to Roberta Flack, Sinatra, that Cher song they both like so much.

“Why don’t you believe in the ghost, Mulder?” She murmurs, a little sad.

“I don’t know that I’m against the idea of her existing,” he says into her hair, closing his eyes. They turn. Sometimes he dips her, sometimes he spins her, but they spend most of the time just like this: as close as possible, eyes closed, careful not to bump into any of the furniture. “I just need more proof these days.”

“Well,” she says. “I’ll believe for the both of us then.”

He lifts his chin from her head, surprised. He pushes her away to search her face. “You believe in Sherry?”

“You had me with that dark matter point,” she shrugs. “If souls… did exist, they would most likely exist as a form of matter we haven’t discovered yet.”

“Dana Scully, but you are tipsy,” he chuckles, pulling her back to him. “If you believe, I believe. Sherry Battersea is alive and with us.”

“Why’d you bring us here if you didn’t think it was haunted?”

He thinks about this, rubbing his hands up and down her back. “We’ve got a long way to go, don’t we Scully?” She looks up at him, cocking her head. “You haven’t…. Moved back yet.” His thumbs caress her waist. “Into our home.”

Her face falls. “Mulder–” she tries to step away, but he holds onto her, shaking his head.

“It’s okay, Scully. Scully, I’m not mad. I’m not asking you to do anything before you’re ready.” He presses a kiss to the center of her forehead, smoothing his hand down the length of her hair. She closes her eyes. “But I thought maybe… if I could recreate… not an exact replica of the good old days, because we were always getting our asses kicked, but something tonally similar, it might help. Show you that I appreciate you and that… I miss you, and that I’m so fucking grateful that…”

She saves him by wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing him in for a slow, mind-melting kiss.

There are none of the cobwebs that decorated all those places in their youth, not like he’d been hoping. The shadows that float across the room are all accounted for. There is no fear. It is not quite like the old days, but he remembers this: holding her hips as they move above him in the dark, the rise and fall of her upturned breasts, the underside of her chin when she tosses her head back and gasps. She rides him into the couch, the sweltering sheath of her body spreading warmth from his cock to the tips of his fingers and toes. He watches her face in the shadows again, how her expressions undulate in the moonlight. She still keeps her apartment, but she’s come back to him in every way that matters.

In the kitchen, a bottle breaks. A tray of dark chocolates hits the wall at full speed.

“Did you hear that?” Scully breathes, furrowing her brow but not stopping, refusing to stop their decades-old rhythm. His hands slip around to grip her rear and he shakes his head. Wind rattles the windows, a howling, devastated screech that neither Mulder nor Scully can relate to.

***

“…Mulder,” Scully frowns, her nude form wrapped up in a fleece blanket he’d brought in from the car. She sits on the floor in front of the middle bookcase, running her fingers over the titles. “You said this place was abandoned, right?”

He’s dozing on the couch, KO’d from sex and the little bit of wine they’d had. “Mmm,” he rubs his cheek and yawns. “Yep. No one lives here.”

“I just find it odd that a place that’s been abandoned for so long shows so few signs of disrepair. In fact…” she runs her hand over the books again. “This place is cleaner than my own. You’re absolutely sure no one lives here?”

“It’s condemned,” he says. “Government says it’s no longer fit to live in.”

“That’s… weird.” She pulls out an old pulp romance novel and flips through the pages. “It seems perfectly habitable.”

“It might have something to do with the plumbing. There are all sorts of strange, outdated Virginia laws that classify a place as livable –” he’s cut off by a sharp yelp and a thud. He sits straight up and peers over the couch. “Scully?”

“I’m okay,” she groans, massaging the back of her head. “A book fell and hit me from the top shelf. But it hit me hard. Jesus, it feels like I got pelted with it.”

He climbs over the back of the couch to join her on the floor, and she laughs when he pecks and pats the top of her head.

“I have just the thing to make it better,” he says, standing back up.

“Again? So fast?” She sounds impressed. Excited. He shoots her a look.

“I was offering more wine, Scully. But ouch.” Her cackling follows him into the kitchen.

The sight that greets him freezes him cold. That extra wine bottle rests in a million shiny pieces, and what was once a glaringly yellow wall bleeds dark red with the wine streaking down to the sideboards. “Scully?” he calls out hoarsely, approaching the scene with caution.

“Shit!” she screams. His stomach drops with fear and he darts back out into the living room to find her huddled under hundreds of fallen books. “What the hell?”

“Scully!” He drops to his knees beside her, throwing book after book off to the side and clutching her face in his hands. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

“Not bad, but I’m beginning to see why this place might be condemned. The bookshelf just rattled and all the books fell off. Maybe there’s something wrong with the foundation.” He helps her out of the pile and they both move away, far back from the shelf.

“Rattled?” he asks, alarmed. “Like it was being shaken?”

“I thought it might be coming from the walls,” she posits, but that doesn’t sit right with him. Anxiety begins to gnaw his stomach into pits.

“You don’t think,” he starts and stops, biting his lip. He wants to put his clothes back on. The chill is coming back. “You don’t think that…”

“Think what, Mulder?”

“That… something was trying to push the bookshelf? On purpose?”

She looks at him, startled. “What? Like a ghost?” He nods his head, shrugging, and she angrily clutches the blanket around herself, turning her back to him to pick up her clothes. “You just told me you didn’t believe there were any ghosts here.”

“You just told me you did,” he argues, following his own garment trail.

“Mulder,” she whines, pulling on her bra. “I don’t actually – I was just…”

“You were lying?” He asks, pausing with his shirt over his head. The hurt catches him off guard.

“I wasn’t lying, I just… I’m so…” she sighs, doing up her fly and buttoning up her shirt. “I never know how you’re feeling these days, and…” she doesn’t finish. He nods slowly, a hot wave of dejection flooding his cheeks. There are traces of ancient anger he wants to pull from, that’s the easier path, but he can’t bring himself to do it.

“I never needed you to lie to me, Scully, and I certainly never asked you to,” he says roughly. He turns away from her to pull on his underwear, jeans, and jacket. He ignores her attempts at  apologies and walks in long strides to the kitchen. “Come look at this,” he calls to her flatly.

Just when he thinks he’s pushed past the resentment of her leaving and the guilt at having made her leave, all of the other feelings are brought to the forefront. The shame. The fragility. He’s spent the last several months trying to prove to her that he can make it on his own – that his need for her doesn’t stem from an inability to function without her, but the irrefutable fact that they work so much better together – and the whole time she’s been… what?

Seeing him as a fucking child? Wearing kid-gloves in all of her interactions with him, holding back her opinions in fear of setting him off? Oh, Jesus. Is this why she won’t move back? She thinks he’s not ready?

“Here.” Side by side, they stand in front of the stain on the wall, mindful of the smushed chocolates and shards of glass.

“Maybe they fell?” Scully guesses weakly, at least having the decency to look contrite.

“They fell? At fifty miles an hour?” Maybe there is some anger he can pull from. “Unlikely. Didn’t you tell me you felt like that book had been pelted at you?”

“Yes but Mulder that could be anything. You said yourself the house was condemned.”

“Yeah, but–” he bends down to inspect the chocolate on the floor,  picking one crushed morsel up to show her. “This looks… this looks like it’s been stepped on, crushed by something. What kind of foundational issue would cause that?”

She looks at it and sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Let’s split up,” Mulder says. “Take the top floor. I’ll take the bottom. It’s what we came here for anyway, right?” And he leaves her alone in the kitchen.

***

The den drastically departs from the design ideal of the rest of the house. Under his flashlight he spots leather rock chairs, worn and overstuffed, plain walnut bookshelves and orange shag carpets. He looks through the books and the desk drawers, searching for anything personal. Photos, journals, receipts kept, anything that might give him any insight into Sherry Battersea and the lonely, lonely house she kept. No luck.

There is a large stack of records sitting next to a hefty Champion record player, dressed in supple red leatherette. He flips through them. The Big Bopper. Fats Domino.  The Lennon Sisters. More and more of the same ilk – an Elvis Christmas LP he’s pretty sure is the real deal, and which he shamefully considers sliding under his coat. He then inspects the player itself, lifts the arm to see the stack of singles underneath it. He lets the arm fall back into place.

It begins to play.

He yelps, stumbling backwards and collapsing onto the rock chair as the music plays loudly enough to fill the house.

Sherry! Sherry baby! Sherry! Sherry baby!

Mulder clutches for the back of the chair and watches in terrified fascination as the entire den comes to life. The lamp flicks on and casts the room in its soft pink light, turning brown into different shades of red. Warmth trickles in from the air vent and all in his body he feels the electric hum of a machine coming to life. He knows instantly that means every other room in the house must be waking up in the same way. Scully he thinks, attempting to jump to his feet.

He’s knocked back on his ass. “What the–” he tries again, and the shag rug slithers out from underneath the desk, coming at him like a cautious snake.

Sherry! Sherry baby! Sheeeeeeeeeeeeerry bay-ay-by! Sherry, can you come out tonight?

“Scullllllaaaay!” He shouts, but he’s no match against The Four Seasons bleating from the – not from the record machine, but from  – everywhere, what –

Why - don’t - you - come out? Come out! To my twist party! Where the bright moon shines!

The rug does just that, rises up, twists back and forth like wringing water out from a cloth. Still moving slowly it comes up to his feet, and he brings his legs up and hugs his knees close to his body, expelling an embarrassing squeak that would give Frankie Valli a run for his money. The rug continues its ascent, sliding up his legs, like – like a caress - gentle – warm – not like a rug, but like –

Like a human.

Mulder kicks his legs out with as much force as he can muster and the rug drops to the floor with a muffled poof. Then he’s leaping out of the chair and throwing open the door, giggling crazily when – he swears he feels it – something invisible tugs at his shirt, at his pant legs and hands.

He runs out out of the den into the open hallway like a scene straight out A Hard Day’s Night, and it’s just as he suspected. All the lights are on, and the Battersea house is thrown into full technicolor, much more vivid than he could have imagined. The lucite chairs are the brightest reds and blues he’s ever seen on furniture in his life, the sofa and the tables and the cleanest, starkest white. The light from the bulbous chandelier sparkles and spins. That pine sol scent – and then something else – Shalimar? – the alien-looking Philco television set on its tall thin stand, some old Gunsmoke episode. Then the channels flip and flip and it’s the Twilight Zone, and he’s being shoved by the air over to the couch. “Scully!” He yells again, laughing, merrily going along with the phantom guide. How is this for proof of a spirit world? This has got to be the single strongest case for the existence of poltergeists ever experienced. “Scully! Come here!”

“Mulder!” Scully screeches, straight from the gut.

Three gunshots go off.

His laughter corks in his throat, his heart drops to his stomach. Mulder races into the kitchen, faster than the grip that vies for him. The wine has been scrubbed from the walls, the glass swept from the floor. Something delicious simmers on the stove, and as he darts past the island he notices a bottle of vodka and a carton of orange juice pouring into a metal mixer. No body performs the action. They float in the air and the liquid comes out in steady, even streams.

That’s his drink. He shudders and hops up the stairs, taking two at a time. Scully’s voice has died out but he can still hear it pounding in his head, along with the never ceasing with your red dress on! Mmm you look so fine! and his ragged breath. “Scully!” He yells again, throwing open every door as he comes to it. The towels in the bathroom, the shower curtain, all rip themselves from their places and slither and slide after him, licking at his ankles and tripping him up. Gold and copper tubes of lipstick chase behind him, leaving behind perfect lip imprints on the walls.

When he gets to the bedroom, he finds Scully bound and gagged to the four poster bed, screaming into the pillowcase stuffed in mouth. “Scully,” he hisses, falling to his knees in front of her, pulling out the gag and deftly untying the knots around her ankles and wrists.

“That crazy–” she coughs and struggles underneath him, making it impossible to get her unbound. “That crazy bitch –” “Stop moving–” but she won’t, she’s writhing and wrestling until he has to cover her with his weight, yelling at her all the way. “Crazy fucking bitch!” She screams. When she’s free from her ties she shoves Mulder off of her and hops to her feet, tearing through the bedroom like a hurricane. “Where the fuck did she put my gun–”

“She took your gun?” Mulder panics, ripping through the room with her. “Scully, did you–” he sees it, three bullet holes in the corner of the ceiling. “Did you shoot the house, Scully?”

“You bet I fucking shot the house!” She screams. “Aha!” She pulls out the gun from the nightstand, cocks it, and tries to run out of the room.

“Scully,” Mulder grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her to him, ignoring her struggling. “Scully, I’m thinking this is an extremely malevolent, extremely powerful poltergeist. You cannot shootpoltergeists–”

She whips around, turning on him and backing him into the wall. “Malevolent? Did she drag you by your hair into the bedroom and tie you to a bed, Mulder? You look suspiciously unharassed.”

He licks his lips and stutters. “Uh, no. That has not been – that has not been my experience.” She raises both eyebrows and crosses her arm, waiting for him to continue. He rushes on. “I think Sherry’s still here, trying to take care of her husband.”

Scully steps back, eyes widening in shock. Her mouth opens and closes. Slowly, quietly, she asks, “Are you saying… the… poltergeist… is trying to seduce you?”

“And kill my mistress? Yeah,��� he huffs a laugh and wraps his arms around her stunned and silent frame, letting his body relax against hers for just a minute. He’s getting too old for this kind of exertion. “Oh, god. You scared the shit out of me, Scully.”

“Sorry to cause so much stress, Mr. Battersea,” she grumbles, burying her nose in his neck. He nuzzles her hair and she lifts her head, slotting their lips together in a sweet, relief-filled kiss. If she’ll forgive him his affair with the carpet, he’ll forgive her everything. She pulls back, shaking her hair out of her face and straightening out her shoulders. “Now how do we get rid of this thing? What’s all in that bag you brought?”

He freezes. Shit.

“Mulder, no,” she says, horrified.

***

They slink down the stairs, Scully first, gun first, just in case. The breath of the house is soft, deceivingly calm. The music has been shut off. No objects float in the kitchen, the stove is turned off. Nothing tries to pull Mulder out of his clothes, or Scully into a closet.

“I think our little display back there pissed her off,” Mulder says grimly, staying close behind Scully.

“You’re my husband,” she bites out, straightening her shooter’s stance. “I kiss you whenever I want.”

They pause before entering the living room, looking at each other.

“That’s where it all happened,” Mulder whispers, nodding his head at the door. “If we go out there…”

“Should we just make a run for it then?” Scully asks, biting her lip. He bites his lip, too, and they meet each other’s eyes. He nods slowly.

They take off, pounding their feet against the hardwood and running as fast as they can, Mulder’s hands barely grazing Scully’s shoulders, but they never stood a chance. Floorboards are snatched almost from under their feet; chairs and tables go hurtling through the air. They drop down, Mulder curling his body over hers and shielding his head when bronze ornaments chuck themselves off of their stands, decorative mirrors drop to the floor, sending their shards flying.

From every molecule of the house, Frankie Valli’s falsetto warps into a deep, unsettling baritone.

Come come. Come out tonight. Come come. Come out tonight. Come come. Come out tonight.

“Say a prayer, Scully,” Mulder groans, wincing when a piece of glass whizzes past his head and scrapes up the back of his hands. She begins to frantically mutter one under her breath, but it’s useless. The storm doesn’t stop.

“Sherry,” Mulder tries. “Sherry!” He says louder. The music ends, but the the violence doesn’t. “Sherry, I know you were hurt!”

A woosh of a sigh is expelled from all the air vents. Objectiles drop straight to the floor. Mulder takes a deep breath and rolls off of Scully, who chokes and coughs into her arm.

He keeps going, not exactly sure what he’s saying. “Your husband was a selfish man who didn’t treat you the way you deserved. You loved him. You gave him everything. You cleaned up every mess, you paid every bill, you did everything he asked of you and it still wasn’t enough.” He swallows, pressing his bleeding hand to his stomach. “He still wouldn’t come home to you.

“It wasn’t your fault, Sherry. People who love you don’t do that to you. People who love you know that you aren’t perfect and come home to you anyway.”

The house is so quiet it is almost as if his soft, soothing voice has lulled it to sleep, and for a moment he thinks it has. Water drips from the air vents, from the windows, single, silent tears of condensation.

Crumpled next to him, Scully is sniffing. He glances at her, worried, but she’s smiling through her tears, sliding her hand through debri and dust to wrap around his. He smiles back, surprised to discover that he’s crying, too.

But she’s suddenly yanked away, screaming as those invisible hands drag her by her ankles and toss her onto the couch. “Scully!” Mulder yells, getting up to run toward her.

He’s tripped by an orange shag carpet.

“It’s not you, Sherry, it’s me,” he whimpers, frantically wriggling as the carpet begins to roll up with him inside of it. He groans and drags himself across the floor with his hands, carpet and all. The Philco set buzzes past him in the air and he shouts. “Watch out, Scully!”

He doesn’t see where it lands, but it the sound it make is a sickening smack, a bludgeoning soundtrack. “Scully?” No response. “Scully?”

He groans, dragging himself with agonizing slowness until he’s at the couch. Propping himself up his arms, his legs still wrapped in the rug, his mouth waters in fear and his stomach tightens at the sight of her, pale and silent, with one patch of bloody red hair staining her temple.

He checks her pulse, is relieved to find it faint, but still there. He kicks and pounds inside his trap until it’s beaten slack and stupid, and lifts himself onto the couch.

“Scully?” He lightly touches the spot where she’s hurt and she jerks her head and groans. “Oh, thank god.”

“Take me to dinner next time,” she winces, feeling the wound for herself and hissing out when she brushes the most tender part. She sits up, he pulls her hair away to give her better access. “I probably need to go to the hospital for this.”

“Well let’s try and get you there, partner.” One hand on her back, the other on her shoulder, he tries to help her up, but is interrupted with the sound of… “Scully. Scully, shit.”

“What?”

“Scully, the bookca–” SLAM.

***

She hauls him out of the dead and empty house, panting with the exertion and the throbbing pain in her head.

“I think–I think she went back to sleep,” Mulder yaps manically. “I think that put her to sleep. Reenacting the – the crime.” “We’re not dead, Mulder,” she grunts. Another foot down the driveway. “I just wish we were dead.”

“I think we better call an ambulance, Scully,” he says, resigned. “I don’t think either of us can drive.”

They call the ambulance and wait. Scully plops down beside him, wincing as the morning sun reflects off the ugly pink wood and cuts into her blurry vision. “This sucks, Mulder,” she sighs, squeezing her fists into her eyes.

“God, I know. This was a terrible idea. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“How are you going to help me move with two broken ankles?” She sighs again, shaking her head. “I’ll have to hire somebody now.”

He beams at her.

***

All the spirits rejoice and return to their graves for their year long sleep.

***

Girl, you make me lose my mind!