#I might actually write a crack fanfic on this
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pendragonsclotpole · 3 months ago
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this is probably me just hitting peak insanity after scrolling on this website for too long but like
whoever had the brilliant idea of making the well-known old merlin character into a young man (younger than arthur, mind you, and upending the stereotypical mentorship role characteristic of the legend!) and basing the entire story on the bond (romantic! i will die on this hill) between merlin and arthur and THEN MAKING IT WORK was a genius
like imagine if 500 years from now when an ip like harry potter is public domain and ubiquitously known as a tale of magic, someone just straight up decides to rewrite the story by de-aging dumbledore and making him the same age as Harry and then writing an entire story based on their bond.
we’d all freaking look at them like they were crazy
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Guilliman's Soup
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"Look, I'm not going to harm any of you, not unless it involves stuffing Guilliman in a room without his....." Fulgrim trails off, the demon prince's lower half coiling in discomfort as he stares at the abomination that bubbled within the pot. It smelled distinctly of both Mjød and cigarettes, appearing as something that Fulgrim was uncertain if even a Nurgling would eat. He certainly wouldn't. Actually he doesn't think any Slaaneshi demon is depraved enough to even attempt to make such a thing. He shakes his head. "Will I be allowed to help?" Calgar, who was certainly not at all expecting to see the demon prince of excess himself at the entrance to the Imperial palace, couldn't decide if this was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand it meant that his primarch wasn't affected by any chaos god, if even Slaanesh was getting involved; on the other, did he really want to accept the help of a demon prince? Especially one that is well.... Calgar sighs deeply, "Fine, you might actually be a good deterrent to Dante anyway. He's been a pain in the ass" "Who is-" Fulgrim doesn't get to finish his sentence as a very old marine of what appears to be of the blood angel's chapter is shooed away by a serf with a broom, wacking the marine's shins with it as he hisses like an angry goose. Fulgrim has his answer on who Dante is but is now even further confused, "I thought Blood Angels were supposed to be noble?" "I'm hoping the soup will kill me" Dante helpfully responds which has the demon prince blinking in utter shock, because what the fuck happened to Sanguinius' sons!? Another Ultramarine, this one apparently named Cato is crawling on his hands and knees out of the room where Dante came from, coughing and generally being a rather sad sight with the stench of both vomit and the abominable liquid upon his breath. Slaanesh, who just briefly decided to turn her head towards whatever the fuck her demon prince was doing, vomits and mutters 'I can't believe none of this was Nurgle's idea; he actually wants the fucking recipe!'. Needless to say, Fulgrim doesn't really want to know what's exactly in that pot. Instead he dryly says "I'm amazed this hasn't summoned anything other then myself..." Calgor sighs "No, it has, there's the Sanguinor, and it's currently being kept back by some Sister of Silence out of fear that it's going to beat Dante to death with a sandle. Personally I'm not fond of trying to explain to the blood angels that we didn't kill their chapter master; it was the soul of Sanguinius, himself, that ended his life. I can't see that going too well...And Cato, please stop eating father's soup." "But-" "No buts or I'm throwing you into the same room as the Sanguinor" That stopped any more protests out of Cato who shuddered at the very idea of confronting the very angry warp spirit that was half of mind to possess someone.
The sound of what Fulgrim could still recognize after all these years as a very angry Leman Russ can be heard in the distance yelling "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO WITH MY FUCKING MJOD, ROBOUTE!?" This was going to be a long and terrible process, Fulgrim just knows it. ____ This short story was inspired by a convo between myself and @moociaoafterdark on this post.
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caotictimmy · 3 months ago
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Guys please I can’t take it anymore you hoes ARE DRY. Barely any Mouthwashing x reader. So listen up you depressed whores(jk I love you guys)
I will be taking requests for Mouthingwashing. No I’m not doing Jimmy or well maybe if I can make that whore suffer. I would rather deep throat a freshly made scolding hot sword like I was on Americans got talent then see that man have an ounce of joy in life. But other then that I’ll do the whole crew (esp you Swansea.. i love you Swansea…) And before you ask know I’m not gonna drop one thing and not post for like a year. I need you guys to no I can’t stop thinking about mouthwash. I can’t watch any TikToks, fanfics that arnt Mouthwashing. I’m being so dead ass it’s ong rotting my brain. And I’ve been cranking out Mouthwashing edits on TikTok (Swansea 1. Defender) cough cough.. so I’m ready to put in the work
For requesting you can you my inbox anonymously or not, you can use my comments, hell even fucking dm me. You can even ask to not be shown to request this so it looks like I just wrote it cause I thought of it, if your that shy. . Also yes I can do special names/emojis for anonymous ppl, I think it’s really cool to do that. But anyways please just fucking request
I’ll do almost anything, from smut to crack fics. Head-canons to one-shots. I’ll do them all. Quick rules for smut. I do not do rape, extreme bdsm, age age play (this goes for everything), and stuff like piss and shit. Also when requesting smut, I’m only gonna do AFAB/gn, because I don’t have experience with writing for AMAB cause I’m a Demi girl. That’s it for smut rules. I don’t do oc’s, that doesn’t mean I don’t do “crew x reader with long hair” or “daisuke x tall reader”. That stuff is completely fine. Also please no stuff with age regression, I don’t mind it, just it makes me a bit uncomfortable(personal reasons). Anyways I most likely won’t make Actuall storys to follow, I prefer to do headcanons or one shots, but I might depending. Anyways please request I beg of you.
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error-dream-was-found · 3 months ago
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Happy anniversary 🎉
It feels like yesterday when I sent you a cool version of counting crows poem and all this set into motion but it's already been a year! It's hard to believe!
I had a lot of fun writing this fic and I think we all know who is responsible for the word count but you can't deny that it was fun. Sure, it cost us sleep and sanity but isn't losing sleep and sanity the main point of this hobby?
My dear, it'd be an honor to write another Halloween fic with you! (But sadly neither of us have ideas or sanity left for a whole new project ... Although we still have 11 days to come up with a one shot don't we? 🙃 /Jk)
Happy crow's nest anniversary! And for anyone interested here is the link to the video I sent Flora that day one year ago.
@error-dream-was-found Happy anniversary to when I roped you into helping me write a 50,000 word ghost fic in 11 days!
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lol me thinking I could write something that isn’t 80% angst
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famous last words…
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understatement.
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me thinking about chapters between 500-700 words… yeah so much for that lol
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so... wanna write another Halloween fic?
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pascaloverx · 3 months ago
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HAUNTED
Summary: You awaken from a two-year coma to find that Detective Lois has been eagerly awaiting your recovery, believing you might have witnessed something crucial to catching a serial killer. What you didn’t expect is to learn that she suspects your doctor of being the murderer—and even more shockingly, it appears that you are married to him. Now, you must uncover your lost memories and find out who Charlie Mayhew truly is to you.
Author's Note: Yes, I'm writing another fanfic featuring Nicholas Alexander Chavez’s character from Grotesquerie. The characters belong to the universe created by Ryan Murphy in the series Grotesquerie (2024). This fanfic will include violence, strong language, and adult content. It will portray the character Charlie Mayhew as a doctor. I hope you enjoy the fanfic, but there's nothing certain about its future.
PREVIEW TWO
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© credits for the owners of the pictures used. they don't belong to me. credit is not mine for the pictures.
ONE
The tension in your hospital room is palpable, Detective Lois and Dr. Mayhew locking eyes as if each were ready to strike. You’re bewildered, unsure of whom or what to believe. But one thing is clear: Dr. Mayhew is your husband. He appears to be the quickest path to recovering your memory—even though Lois seems convinced he’s the reason you’re in this condition.
“Detective Tryon, as eager as you are to drag a statement out of my wife, she’ll be of no use to your scheme of blaming me for your incompetence,” Dr. Mayhew says, running a hand through his hair with a clear hint of tension. “She remembers nothing, and your persistence will only confuse her further.” He sighs heavily, while Lois watches him with a mocking smile, as if her patience has completely worn thin.
“Your performance is so convincing. You must have taken acting lessons at some point in your life,” she says, stepping toward him with a threatening air. “I can’t allow you to harm this woman before she has the chance to tell the world who you really are.”
“Enough!” you exclaim, frustrated by their bickering. Both turn to you, their expressions shifting to something like concern. “Detective Tryon, I appreciate your efforts to keep me safe. But if this man truly is my husband, that must mean something,” you say, almost on instinct. Perhaps you’re being foolish, even hasty. But there has to be something to this. Taking a risk is all you have left—now that you don’t even belong to yourself.
"Are you really willing to risk your life to be near this man, Y/N?" Detective Tryon holds your arm, her grip nearly desperate, as though trying to pull you away from Dr. Mayhew. The force of it makes you uncomfortable, and you wince, letting out a low sound of pain.
“Release my wife, Detective,” Dr. Mayhew snaps, his tone finally sharpened, his calm composure cracking. “I remind you that if we report your misconduct to your superiors, your entire baseless case will fall apart.” He steps between you and Lois, his hands slipping into his lab coat pockets, the stance a clear challenge.
"What would truly please you, right?" Lois challenges, staring straight into Dr. Mayhew's eyes. You watch them silently, still feeling the ache in your arm where Lois had grabbed you.
"Would you like to know what would actually please me?" Dr. Mayhew whispers, moving closer to Lois. "I’d be pleased to have my wife with me again, without the interference of a lunatic so obsessed with her own failures that she needs to ruin my life just to sleep at night. Careful, Lois. You’re becoming obsessed with me." You're uncertain of his intentions, but the authoritative tone in his voice and the way he carries himself is undeniably alluring.
Lois narrows her eyes, her expression darkening as Dr. Mayhew moves closer, his tone laced with mockery and barely concealed venom. “Is that so, Dr. Mayhew? Obsession, you call it?” she scoffs, a bitter smile playing on her lips. “Let’s not confuse dedication to justice with obsession. But perhaps you’re simply too accustomed to manipulating the truth to recognize it when you see it.”
You watch the exchange, torn between skepticism and an undeniable draw toward him. Despite the sharp edge in his words, the way Dr. Mayhew stands his ground, unyielding and unafraid, stirs something within you. Even as his gaze shifts to meet yours, there’s an intensity there that unsettles yet captivates you—a magnetic pull that defies reason.
“Why not focus on your own affairs, Detective,” he murmurs, his eyes still on you, a slight smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, “and let my wife and I… reconnect. Unless, of course, you’ve truly no other purpose in your life than meddling in mine.”
Your confidence is remarkable, Charlie," Lois remarks. "Mrs. Mayhew, if you need me for any reason, here’s my number. I’ll also be visiting again soon to see if there’s been any progress in your memory recovery." She hands you a card with her contact information, then smirks mockingly at Dr. Mayhew. "And don’t worry, Charlie, I’ll let Megan know you’ll be unavailable." With that, she finally exits your hospital room.
Charlie stares at you, irritation burning in his gaze. "Do you believe her?" Dr. Mayhew demands, advancing toward you with sudden intensity. You feel as if the air is being drawn from your lungs with his nearness, his gaze piercing. "Honestly, I don’t know whom to believe," you murmur, leaning back against the hospital bed behind you, your eyes locked onto his.
"Fine!" he exclaims, voice laced with indignation. He turns to leave, but then hesitates, his hand lingering on the door frame as if torn between staying and leaving. After a tense pause, he steps back inside, his tone shifting from anger to something raw and vulnerable.
"Y/N… if you can’t trust me, then at least remember what we once were. Remember the promises we made." His voice drops to a murmur, almost pleading. "I’m not the monster she’s painting me to be." The intensity in his words sends a shiver down your spine, leaving you more conflicted than ever as he finally, reluctantly, exits the room. What makes it all worse is that neither of them is truly thinking about you. Neither one noticed that you’ve only just discovered your own name, that you're lost and confused. They don’t see that you don’t want to be manipulated—you want to be understood.
“You are like him…” you murmur, recognizing that you’re no longer in your hospital room. Everything around you is intensely white—the walls, the bed you're seated on, every corner spotless and untouched. A cross hangs on the wall behind the priest, casting a shadow that flickers slightly, as if from candlelight. The room feels steeped in something sacred, almost otherworldly, like a faint echo of a memory stirring within you. The priest looks at you with a serene expression, though there’s an unmistakable weight behind his gaze. As he steps closer, the almost sacred atmosphere around you amplifies the tension. You try to process the overwhelming resemblance to Dr. Mayhew—even the contours of his face are identical, but the priest’s shorter, more traditional hairstyle highlights the difference. Your mind wavers between doubt and recognition, as if your subconscious is trying to unveil something long forgotten.
“You keep searching for answers outside yourself, yet everything you need lies within,” he murmurs, his deep voice echoing through the room like a quiet revelation.
“Father, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do, what to feel,” you whisper, your voice breaking as you meet his gaze. Tears slip down your cheeks, and a quiet, aching desperation fills the space between you. The priest, unmoved yet tender, holds your gaze.
“Faith moves mountains, and as long as it resides within you, you will be safe,” he murmurs, his voice a gentle command that resonates deeply. “Find your faith, and you will know what—and whom—to believe.”
Despite the haziness, a strange comfort wraps around your heart, soft yet unexplainable. His words, laced with a familiar warmth, guide you into a calm acceptance, though the reason remains unknown. Then, leaning closer, he whispers in your ear, “Now, kneel and seek forgiveness.” Almost instinctively, you find yourself on your knees before him, grasping the folds of his robe at his knees, your head bowed as though in reverence.
“Father, forgive me,” you whisper, your head bowed. His fingers lift your chin gently, compelling you to meet his gaze. “How can I grant you absolution, when your hands are stained with blood, my sweet sinner?” he murmurs, lowering his face near yours, his breath warm against your ear, sending a chill down your spine.
You’re shocked, frozen beneath his intense gaze, but unable to break away. As you glance down, horror floods your senses—you see your hands smeared with blood. Stumbling backward, you gasp, eyes wide in disbelief. The priest rises from the bed, stepping slowly toward you with an unwavering gaze, a faint trail of blood marking his face. You’re overwhelmed with fear, a scream building in your throat until it finally erupts, piercing the silence. And then—just like that—you awaken from your haunting dream, heart racing, as the unsettling remnants of the nightmare fade into the dim light of your hospital room.
Dr. Mayhew, startled awake in the chair beside your bed, immediately reaches for you. “Hey, Y/N, are you alright?” he asks, his voice filled with concern as he stands and wraps you in a firm embrace. His arms encircle you with a warmth that feels protective, grounding you in the present moment, as if he’s trying to shield you from whatever haunted you.
“I… I had a nightmare,” you whisper once you catch your breath, the tension beginning to ease as you lean into his hold. And everything feels like déjà vu. Just like before, you wake from a nightmare involving the priest, and once again, Dr. Mayhew is by your side. You can't help but wonder if there’s a connection between his presence and the terrifying, bloody dreams that haunt you each night.
“Don’t worry, darling,” Dr. Mayhew murmurs softly, his hand tracing gentle circles on your back, his touch soothing. The warmth of his embrace gives you an unexpected feeling of lightness, as though he’s holding you together amidst the lingering fragments of your nightmare.
“Can we leave this place?” you ask, your voice trembling as you try to stifle the tears that have flowed since you woke. He holds you a little closer, and you feel a subtle tension in his grip, as if considering your question carefully.
“We will, soon,” he assures, his tone steady, though a flicker of something unreadable passes over his face. “For now, rest. I’ll be here.”
"Stay here; I need you to answer me—while looking into my eyes," you insist, tugging at Dr. Mayhew's clothes, almost dislodging his tie. Though he’d intended to return to the hospital chair, he remains by your side, his gaze steady yet guarded.
“Will you even believe my answer?” he asks softly, his voice carrying a hint of doubt, as though unsure anything he says would hold weight with you. His eyes search yours, wary yet attentive, as if weighing what he’s willing to reveal.
"You'll have to take the risk and believe that I will," you say softly, though you're unsure if you can truly trust anything he says. Dr. Mayhew's hand reaches gently to touch your face, but you instinctively pull back, murmuring, "I’m sorry."
“Ask me whatever you wish, Y/N,” he says, his voice tinged with impatience, perhaps confused by your conflicting actions—clinging to him, pulling him closer, yet retreating from his touch. You, too, are struggling to understand what you’re feeling, torn between wanting him near and pushing him away.
“Do you love me?” you ask, your gaze unwavering, trying to find answers in the depths of his eyes. His stare holds yours, as if the question should be irrelevant, as if he has already shown you everything you need to know. His expression softens, but the weight of his response carries something more.
"I’m your husband, Y/N," he replies, his voice steady, but there's an intensity in his eyes, a depth of meaning that you can’t ignore. "Doesn't that answer everything?" His words hang in the air, thick with unspoken emotion, and for a moment, you wonder if the truth lies somewhere in the space between his claims and the confusion that churns in your heart.
"Answer me, Dr. Mayhew, do you love me?" you ask, using a more assertive tone, making it clear that you are not satisfied with his previous answer. He smiles, as if he can't believe it. "I love you, Mrs. Mayhew. I would die for you if necessary," he responds confidently. His eyes are fixed on you, as if waiting for something.
"Then even if the truth disappoints me. Even if you think it's going to hurt me, I need you to be honest. About these murders, about Megan, about everything." You speak firmly, staring into his eyes.
Dr. Mayhew's expression hardens as you mention the two things he surely wishes you would forget. For a moment, he looks at the hospital room wall without saying anything. "Honesty is a double-edged sword. As you inflict it on someone, someone can inflict it on you," his gaze darkens, his demeanor heavy, almost demonic. "If honesty is what you want; honesty is all you'll get."
He stands up, lifting his face to yours, now standing directly in front of you. "You think the truth will set you free, but sometimes it only binds you to something far worse," Dr. Mayhew says, so close to your face it feels as though he's about to kiss you. His words are heavy, yet his gaze is devilishly captivating. For a moment, you sense that he's savoring the expression of fear in your eyes. "Then let the truth bind us both, if that's what we deserve," you reply, challenging him, even though a part of you trembles with fear.
He straightens his coat, his hand running through his hair with a sharp, almost angry gesture, as though attempting to pull himself together. "Rest, Y/N. The truth will find its way to you, sooner or later. But I can promise you this: I am, and will always be, honest with the woman I love—even if she doubts me." With those words, Dr. Mayhew places a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead, a gesture of tenderness. Then, without another word, he exits your hospital room, leaving you in a heavy silence.
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majoryeager104 · 2 months ago
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Pro Hero Touya Headcannons
Summary: just a bunch of random thoughts about ProHero Touya. I think about him a lot 😭 what could have been. 
Warnings: language, general crack behavior. Enjoy 😁
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I saw someone say his hero name would be “Regulus” aka ”the Blue Star hero” because it’s a bright af star, its blue, and the name means “prince” (yk cos he was meant to surpass Endeavor and all might, prince is awfully fitting) and his character is like a dying star and I adore that for him sooo✌️😁
Fuyumi gave him the idea for it
Bc I have another hc that Fuyumi is an astronomy nerd ✨✨
She definitely does astrology too ofc
the fam all knew their signs bc of her
And Touya actually thought it was all cool
Like he asked Fuyumi for advice bc he knew she’d help him find a sick hero name
And once she explained Regulus he immediately picked it. 
Once he became a pro, he rose through the charts fast as fuck yo 
🏃💨 
I said this before in another list, but he wouldn’t surpass all might,
But he would surpass endeavor. 
And he’d be sooooo petty about it. 
Like “hey number three hero Endeavor, it’s me, number two hero Regulus…bitch”
And Enji would just facepalm because Touya does this every time he walks into the house. 
Yes it would be that bad. 
And Shoto would just clap for him in the background 
Every time. 
And Touya would take Shoto out for cold soba whenever no one was cooking dinner. 
Bc he cannot cook for himself
So he uses ‘brother bonding time’ as an excuse to get soba. 
On their way out, he’d always get swarmed by fans
Bc he’s just so sexy yk ☝️😮‍💨
Buuuut he wouldn’t know what to do
He’d stand there like 🧍
And so would Shoto 
He hated the pr stuff they learned at ua 
So he didn’t pay attention 
Instant regret when he became a pro because now he’s followed by swarms of women and he doesn’t know wtf to do
Fanfics about him would definitely be like those one direction ones. 
And Natsuo would send them to him
Incessantly. 
Needless to say Natsuo is blocked
Touya scared of women
Specifically his female fans It’s like gojo fans smh
One time some girl threw her bra at him when he was surrounded by fans, and it hit him square in the face. 
He disappeared from the public eye for two weeks. 
He was so grossed out he almost quit hero work
“Fuck this shit I’m out” kinda phase
But he likes whooping ass too much
So he came back
And now he’s pulled a doja cat and bullies his fans online with his official account. 
Shoto helps him. 
brother bonding time 👍
Banner Creds to @ chatnoir_252 🙌🙌🙌
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oliverwolfboy · 1 year ago
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Listen guys I know we all like to think of our favorite queer pairings as married, but in Japan gay marriage is unfortunately illegal, now this isn’t some that has to effect your fanfics, but I would actually like if we as a community acknowledged it more. I just think it’s more impactful if the characters had to struggle with the biases of some of the people around them. It would make the characters situation more relatable, and it would also make for interesting plot for the fic, even if it is just a side thing. For some of the ships it might even make for interesting cultural shock, like with Ranpoe, since America does allow gay marriage in most states, while Japan doesn’t it would probably make for a funny interaction. My point is while homophobia and discrimination is unfortunate, it doesn’t mean we have to ignore it in stories, and pretend that it doesn’t exist at all. Idk man I just want some of my fics to be more interesting and this is one way to do it.
Edit: this is not for those who write stories mainly as escapism. If what you want in the story is to play around without the shit called homophobia, then you do you.
Edit: I wanted to say that, this could also very well be used for crack, considering canon BSD, and not an AU where they aren't all criminals. Just imagine, Dazai in a wedding dress, using a machine gun to take down the government officials who won't let him have his wedding with Chuuya (or whoever you ship him with). It also kinda depends on what year it is in Japan
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fisshbones · 4 months ago
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Hcs of some Hoyoverse characters!!
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ft!! Heizou, Sunday, Scaramouche/Wanderer, Furina, Sampo, Xiao, & Pela
Genre: fluff/crack!! No warnings that I can think of besides of being mildly ooc and some being shorter than others. Could be read as platonic. Modern Au Gn! Reader.
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Heizou ->
Has thousands and thousands of screenshots, pictures, and videos saved on his phone. Refuses to delete them because “you never know, they might come in use later.” Once in a VERY LONG while does his habit actually pay off. He’s paying for the cloud subscription service 1000% If he doesn’t his phone is borderline useless. If you go through it you’ll wonder how he finds jack sh*t in that phone, there’s no organization on/in that thing. That being said he doesn’t need to put things in separate albums because he had absolutely no issues with finding what he needs. (he’s literally me)
Sunday ->
Sunday likes to tend to his multiple gardens back where he lives. There’s two green houses back at his home. One is his and one belongs to his dear sister. If you want one too, he’ll gladly make some plans for yours next. When him or Robin can’t tend to the flowers, he has a gardener come tend to them in the meantime. While all of them brings joy to him he has a special soft spot for (white) calla lilies and spider mums.
Scaramouche/Wanderer ->
The definition of an annoying menace. He’ll put sticky notes with (sometimes with writing) on your back without you knowing. He used to do this to Childe too, only when it was Childe it would be way meaner. One fool read the ‘kick me’ note on his back and actually did it. Poor idiot guy learned a lesson that day. The worst he’s put on your back was a note with a stupid face on it. And if someone makes fun of you for it, he’ll give them a black eye! He’s the only one allowed to be an ass to you. :)
Furina ->
Does catwalk struts in her mirror when no one is home. She gets wayyyyy too into it. She’ll start on one side of the house and when she gets to her mirror she’ll strike a pose. One time you walked into her standing in front of the mirror doing pose 28. She couldn’t look into your eyes for a week afterwards. If you ask her to give her a lil show, she’ll do it but don’t laugh cause she might cry. lol. (she’s so me coded)
Sampo ->
He plays those driving games with the steering wheel and all. Sampo started streaming it too to make some hot cash$$ This man is DEDICATED to the act he preforms while streaming this game. If he gets into an accident in the game he makes it look like it happened irl too. He’s given himself whiplash from how fast and hard he slammed himself in his chair. think this.
Xiao->
BIG CONCERT FAN!!! Hates the crowds so much though (T ^ T) He’s so not a people person. Always manages to get great seats for you guys. He’s willing to see any performer if it’s for you, even if it’s not someone he likes. I personally see him as liking every genre of music, so there’s a fat chance he’ll still like the music being played. Xiao would put you on his shoulders if you ask him too. But I can’t guarantee you’ll be able to see any better this way because of how short he is.
Pela ->
Pela makes a crap ton of edits and fanfics. Any where between thirst edits and angst edits of anime characters. She’s got over 50k followers just waiting for her to drop the newest robin or satosugu edit. She’s also got of followers on the platform she posts her fanfics on. She’s big on x readers AND ship fics. That girl puts in work making sure both her edits and fics are absolutely perfect.
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If you enjoyed likes/reblogs/replies are appreciated!!
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fisshbones © 2024 do not repost or translate
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itsmespicaa · 21 days ago
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Could you recommend lambo twins fanfics? Specifically ones that are sunstreaker centric? Sunstreaker barely appears in media and ppl barely write about him and I neeeed sunstreaker content to consume
Oh boy...here we go *cracks knuckles* there's quite a few (not as many as other chars obviously), but I tried my best to link the ones that I really enjoyed and recommend you read too!
I'll try to sort them into categories, and I'll also tag the Sunstreaker-centric ones with * and the twins-centric one ** for easy perusal :) Sideswipe-centric will have no stars, but I still recommend you to read them anyway bc they're really good (and Sunny is there most of the times)! Starting with—
My Top 6:
Misaligned Gemini by Anonymous**
This one's a classic. Set in IDW 2019 (or IDW 2) where the twins have a completely different origin, this one takes you for such a crazy ride from start to finish and will have you holding on for dear life. I definitely cried a lot reading this lol it's that good. Easily one of the best Lambo twins-centric fics out there (and the longest one too to date).
Lifeline by Kattli (Kathrine)*
Set in the IDW-verse. One of my personal favorites as well as my fav interpretation of the twins' messy and complicated relationship in IDW. Canon-divergence in the best way possible.
Sideswipe's Secret Vacation Spot by BalloonArcade**
AU where the twins actually joined the Cons (one of my fav AUs for sure). Has by far my FAVORITE interpretation of Sunstreaker and one that definitely affected my own take of his character. The twins' dynamic here is *chef's kiss* so good. I adore them so much here.
No Rest for the Wicked by fuzipenguin*
Absolutely delectable 6k joyride with Sunstreaker pretty much murdering his way out of the enemy's base like the utterly ruthless warrior that he is <3 you love to see it!!!!
Snap, Crackle, Pop by SergeantCookie
I was so pleasantly surprised by how amazingly-written this fic was??? Like- the blend of comedy and realism feels so natural especially from Sideswipe's POV. Definitely one of my fav Sides-centric fics, and the other characters are an absolute hoot LOL it's so SO good from start to finish.
Followers by Bibliotecaria_D**
This one...completely caught me off-guard. An utterly different take of the twins' relationship in IDW (and in general, really) that I needed a whole day to digest what I just read because it was just- so raw and real and painful, but I think that's the beauty of it. Might not be everyone's cup of tea tho so here's my warning (bc the writer isn't a fan of fanon!Lambo twins), but I still recommend people (esp their fans) to read it to see a different perspective of the twins' dynamic.
Others, also really good:
and when i got to st peter's gate, i told the keeper that i'm not the one who needs to make amends by rosesscythes
IDW again, this time from Sideswipe's perspective before he died. It healed something in me to read this, so maybe it might heal you too :")
Little Brother by pipermca*
Another IDW fic, this time from Sunstreaker's POV post-canon. Another cathartic fic that feels like a balm after what happened in canon.
Poker Face by SSSSEEEEVVVVEEEENNNN*
A deep dive into Sunstreaker's psyche in the face of Smokescreen and it's so. SO good omg. You can see everything play out in real time from Sunstreaker's POV while at the same time you can tell he's so unreliable and so, so bad at social cues that it was painful to watch. But everything is from HIS view so he MUST be right...right?
Unorthodox Protection by FiftyShadesOfMetal
Another one of Sideswipe's shenanigans that...went a bit more south that he intended? Sunstreaker cameos a bit later but the true star of the show is the human inside of Sideswipe-- wait what?!
Loyalty by BalloonArcade
Prowl/Sideswipe with a substantial focus on the twins' relationship in IDW on the side. I really liked this take of the twins and what made them that way here.
Sunshine, Roses, & Other Treacherous Things by jukeboxes**
Incomplete but the first 3 chapters are so compelling that you can't help but desperately want to know how it ends.
Crack(ed) Me Up by Kattli (Kathrine)**
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe are unfortunately stuck with the bots they try to kill the most...whoops. Really funny and you get to enjoy seeing their (mostly Sunny's) suffering
In the Dust by Hours_Gone_By
Msytery fic, spooky-tastic. The twins aren't the sole focus here, but the fic is so good that you'd be too invested in what's happening to notice (or if you're like me, you do notice every time they interact but it won't detract from the story itself ahaha). But they are there and I'm not one to be picky, so you really don't wanna pass this one up.
The City by Hours_Gone_By**
Spooky-fic, reaally well written (this writer has a talent with writing horror I swear), keeps you at the edge of your seat through the whole thing and wanting nothing more than for them to go--
Bayverse:
Mess With the Bull by CaptainCougar**
A classic take of Sunstreaker's arrival during the period where Cemetery Wind was hunting down all the remaining Cybertronians. Really nicely written and satisfying to read.
Solar Eclipse by SeaSpectre160**
My favorite take on Sunstreaker's arrival on Earth with all the chaos and squishy human-hating on Sunny's side. You love to see it.
Snake Eyes by snarechan
Sideswipe and Sunstreaker face a familiar foe, with a twist. I love the way they're written here.
AUs:
All The Friendly Ghosts by Anonymous**
Something's just not right about Sideswipe, and--it's not what you think it is. Really satisfying build up and payoff. I adore the writing style for it too.
Search & Rescue by sssunstreakerrr
Shattered Glass at last!!! It's sadly incomplete but the sheer quality of the available chapter and the premise makes it so so worth reading anyway.
Beneath the Vaulted Heights by Magnusoftheward**
I don't want to spoil anything bc it's best read going in blind so...just keep reading. I promise you it's worth it :D I really love the eeriness and confusion and just- the overall vibe of the fic. It's so good gah-
Abandoned by Hours_Gone_By
Horror fic, so so good. You can feel the eerieness of the place from the character's perspective. Ugh. Literally kept me at the edge of my seat the whole time. Other characters are also there!
Geminus by postapocalyptic_cryptic*
Pacific Rim AU. The twins are co-pilots. Really well-written fic! :D Bring your tissues
A Flash of Gold by pipermca**
Another Pacific Rim AU with human!Sideswipe. Where's Sunstreaker you ask? Well...
Pure Silliness:
Exothermic by SergeantCookie
I cackled from start to finish, it's that good LOL. If you need a good laugh, pls go read this. Also connected to "Snap, Crackle, Pop" by the same author.
How to Save the World in 8 Minutes and 3 Seconds by BalloonArcade
Pure chaos written in such an in-character way, poor Prowl lmaooo
In Which Sideswipe was Bored with a Board by a Boar While Bored by murtlewikisam
An absolute hoot omg I couldn't stop my head from going ????? the whole time XD
Aaand that's all for now! I'm sure I've missed some, but these are some of the ones that I already have in my bookmarks :D Hope you have a good (or wonderfully painful) time reading them!! And let me know which one you like the most if you do read them hahha
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itsabouttimex2 · 2 months ago
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any lmk ideas you wish were touched on more often in fanfic??
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Underused LMK Premises
Oh so many dude you don’t even understand-
1. Courtnapping as a legitimately bad thing. Not “ooh it’s romantic for demons” or “it’s just part of their culture” or “it’s proof of how much they love you” but like… a portrayal of courtnapping that actually demonstrates how viscerally dehumanizing it is to be stolen away by someone you might not even know and treated like a prize who can be won with the right application of charm or power.
(Like I’ve used it I think only once before and pretty much stopped at the “this is what demons do in general thing, but the potential for varied application is just… so high.)
Especially for mortals- imagine being bruised and battered from a long period spent unconsciously slung over someone’s shoulder or under their arm, strewn over a lounge chair or tied up in front of the kitchen table, seething. Eyes focused and hateful, knowing that this would happen eventually if they let down their guard or let a demon too close. It doesn’t matter how the monster peacocks about with that tome or this battleaxe, it’s not attractive, it’s not sexy,- and nothing can steal the feeling of violation that settles in over having been stolen from home in your sleep so you could get an extended IRL version of “I showed you my dick please go out with me” from a thirteen foot demon who is more interested in wooing you than actually wanting you.
Or just… old demons who mumble and huff about “losing their traditions” or “young demons going soft” as they look at woven tapestries in their homes, proud depictions of past conquests standing frozen in time, unaware that their great-great-grandson would lose his newest baby to a hysteric mortal’s iron-toed boot, wild with unforeseen hormones brought on by demonic birth, unaware that his youngest granddaughter would face a life of misery as she grew up, constantly stolen back and forth by two demons as part of a glorified pissing contest, both more interested in one-upping each other than the sapient being they steal from her room each night.
Young demons secretly taught by the last crotchety stalwarts of an old generation that “What you want is yours to take, if you can take it,” before their parents can snatch them away from great-great-great-grandfather and hurry off, praying their little one is too young to understand what was said. Growing demons brought up with those horrid words rattling their horned skulls, heeding and obeying them, then wondering why their dearest friends snap and crack as they’re “spirited away”. Grown demons who come up lonely and tired, seeing their diminishing race in a world flourishing with soft little mortals and wondering spitefully “Why did we ever stop conquering”, only learning the answer at the blunt end of a glowing golden staff when their time is near, the finishing blow timed to the cheers of their captives.
(If I ever write a satire fic, it will 100% be about a Y/N who gets isekai-ed into LMK, but instead of any of the cool or attractive protagonists, they get courtnapped by a crusty-handed, balding and portly demon who doesn’t practice hygiene or housecare. Just to put into perspective how actually awful the whole “I’m being kidnapped as a spouse” thing would probably really be if it wasn’t your attractive, young, in-shape, washes regularly blorbo doing the snatching.)
2. With this, demons just… not understanding mortals. Not for lack of trying, and not for lack of wanting, but through simple psychological incompatibility.
Demons struggling with empathy toward mortals because their minds are shaped by instincts that value strength, endurance, and survival of the fittest. Emotions that seem obvious to humans, like fear, discomfort, or sorrow simply not registering for demons in the same way. They see these reactions, but interpret them through their own lens, often believing that mortals are playing games or faking them or maybe outright performing.
Communal demons in broad daylight snatching up children for hours or days, only to return them with scars and bloodshot eyes, and wondering why they receive no gratitude for, in their opinion “taking up parental duties” without so much as being asked. After all, isn’t a little bit of “toughening up” good for children?
Demons who don’t understand “allergies”, especially when they range from “mild cough” to “near-instant death” and maybe misunderstand how epi-pens work- “Is stabbing the flesh a way to bleed the illness”, asks an curious demon with ancient eyes, worn hands, ragged skin, “and will any weapon do?”
Demons who become artists that need calligraphy tools so large they get mistaken for weapons. Demons who don’t understand tipping culture and assume they’re being fleeced. Demons who need custom chairs and custom clothes and custom bedding. Demons who pick fights on behalf of their friends and coworkers, and then to combat this, demons who get hired on as protection against “honor battles”.
Demons being demons, not just immortal humans.
3. Characters with variable ages that widely differ- like, I’ve gone on here and there about my view on ambiguous ages for characters and why I love that trope so much and how it makes a series infinitely more attractive to larger crowds and audiences than a concrete “14” or “23” or “46”, you know? And the fact that MK and Mei and Red Son could be sooo many different ages all in different configurations is super interesting to me!
Like, imagine- Adult!Red Son with Teen!Mei and Teen!MK, having an absolute full-throttle meltdown when he realizes that the two upstart semi-mortals who keep beating his demonic ass are teenagers. Red Son being both mortified at his continuous defeats and furious at these children’s parents for allowing them to fight in such high stakes.
And then with that slowly growing sense of pity and anger he just scoffs and shakes his head the one time they maybe aren’t in such high spirits (drenched from rain and wind and exhausted from the vigor of battle) and whisks them off to his family’s lair, throwing a demon-sized towel for them to share as he whips up something spicy for the kids.
Children.
They’re children.
He goes home and thinks on that, and then decides that maybe he just doesn’t want to fight them anymore.
Red Son then being reverse adopted by Pigsy + Mr. and Mrs. Dragon because, hey, if he’s playing big brother, might as well let him. Then Red gets to learn what (mostly) healthy family dynamics are through direct interaction and then hold his parents to those standards and basically everyone heals together.
Or hey, Red Son being a teenager while MK and Mei are adults! The two heroes doting on this ever-furious demon with treats and drinks to “cheer him up” after his frequent losses and kinda… accidentally teaching him what unconditional kindness is by becoming surrogate older siblings to the kid.
Red Son freaking out because his parents are going to be mad about this loss or that failure, and
(Red Son getting a phone call in the middle of a fight because PIF is mad he didn’t take out the trash lmao)
4. Y/N being protective of Sun Wukong.
Man, I don’t know if it’s just me but I don’t touch most romantic Shadowpeach x Y/N fanfics at all because I know I’m in for more of the same “Macaque legitimately being an awful person to someone he’s sharing a mate with/to one of his two mates and Y/N thinks it’s funny/doesn’t care” and just like… dude.
Like I know I’ve talked about how much I hate Fanon!Macaque, the simpering sadsack who only exists to get babied and patted on the ass, all his actions whitewashed and cooed over, so like, obviously I wasn’t gonna be a fan of this.
Maybe I’m just not the target audience here but like holy shit… why? It’s never portrayed as unhealthy or anything more than a silly goofy thing that Macaque is constantly tormenting someone he either is supposed to love or share a lover with, and the reader in regard to that mistreatment is little more a drooling dumbfuck without enough braincells to breath through their nose.
I don’t get it. A Y/N who says “Teehee my mate is being abused ‘oh noes’ but Maccy needs cuddles so I’ll disregard one half of my relationship~” is not a Y/N I care about, and I don’t see what’s so compelling about neglect and mistreatment portrayed as the order of the day. I don’t see the merit in “I’m Y/N, and I’m stupid and blind to abuse!”
Cause I think it’s so much more interesting if it’s like…
“Do that again and you’re out.”
And Macaque whips around in shock, looking up from the shadow portal he just shoved Wukong into. “Excuse me-“
“Do that again,” you repeat, voice low and tense- Wukong would be fine, you were more angry than worried-, “and you’re out. Gone. Out of my house and out of my life.”
“I wasn’t-“
“I don’t give a fuck, Macaque! You will not MISTREAT my mate in my own house!”
“I- it’s not- I don’t-“
“I DON’T FUCKING CARE! HE’S NOT A FUCKING PUNCHING BAG, SO I’M NOT LETTING YOU TREAT HIM LIKE ONE!”
You know, a scenario where Y/N isn’t a passive enabler of abuse and bullying, and they actually have a voice of their own outside of “Teehee Mac you’re sooooo mean to my lover but I’m totally okay with that for some reason!~” but also gives Macaque explicit instruction on what he needs to do in order to better the relationship (ex: not abuse their other mate), in which they aren’t stupid or unforgiving and all three can grow together, instead of the usual: “Macaque isn’t ever a bad person. But when he is it’s not a big deal. But when it is his victims “deserve” it.”
5. Transhuman identities and abilities. I mean, just… there’s shapeshifting and magical artifacts and all manner of mystic trinket in the world. Does being gay or trans really matter when anyone can learn the 72 Transformations and become what they wish? Is it any bigger a deal than your child deciding they’re going to live life as a dog, or a demon? Are there potions to make these transformations permanent? Can a person become a demon, instead of transforming into one?
Does being immortal fuck with your taxes? Does knowing magic fuck with your insurance? Does your family look at you differently after you’ve tasted that ambrosial nectar, consumed that slice of eternity? Do they fear or long for a taste? Does your grandmother refuse to come to your wedding, ashamed that you would “break yourself from the cycle”? Does your mother cry into her hands that you wed a demon? Do you run to an old monastery to elope, wed by an old monk with ancient eyes because no other soul will officiate you and that demon? Will you be welcome in the celestial realm if you wed a heavenly soldier? If you take the hand of a god? What will you have you learn? How long until you feel at “home”?
Just… humans getting into mystical trouble outside of battles.
(If anyone else has some stuff they’d wish was expanded on more often, feel free to add on in the comments or reblogs!)
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maxdibert · 2 months ago
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Sev's fandom is so vast that it’s incredibly rewarding to feed my obsessive hyperfocus on him. I discovered that he has many ships, which was surprising but not unpleasant. Snulciber, Snegulus, and Snetunia were the ones that caught my attention the most as a newcomer, especially Snegulus and Snulciber. I love the idea of chaotic Slytherins starting a relationship based on mutual misunderstandings and actually gaining something meaningful from it, but unfortunately, I’ve never found anything along those lines.
What do you think about Severus and Regulus or Severus and Mulciber? Do you think there’s good potential there or not?
I also came across Severus ships with the Marauders, and although I don’t personally like them, I still find them unsatisfying. I hate how, in long fanfics, Severus’s trauma is never properly explored. It feels like he always has to swallow everything that happened to him in favor of the couple’s development. I wish there were more angst, self-hatred, and revulsion, both from Severus and his chosen partner. It feels unrealistic when they don’t allow his character to carry his trauma and deal with it at his own pace. Not to mention the half-hearted apologies I’ve seen from the Marauders in some stories. What do you think about that?
I also came across fem!Severus tags, and I must admit I’m hooked. It’s a shame I haven’t found any good fanfics about it. What’s your opinion on that?
As I said, the fandom and the ideas people have surrounding him are so fascinating to me. There’s so much potential to explore.
The Severus/Mulciber ship is as old as the creation of the continents hahaha. Look, I’ve always been fine with bisexual Severus, especially with that line Rowling mentioned about Severus wanting Lily but also wanting Mulciber. It has potential, and canonically, they got along, and Severus saw something in Mulciber that he desired — however you choose to interpret that. So, honestly, I don’t think it’s a crack ship at all!
I find it curious that people in the new Marauders fandom assume Regulus would have gotten along badly with Severus, when it’s far more likely they had a cordial relationship. Maybe Regulus was even nice to him just to spite his brother. Honestly, I can totally see a scenario where, after Sirius ran away from home, Regulus confronted him at some point when he was bothering Severus — just for the sheer pleasure of annoying him. I’m pretty sure nobody could handle Sirius Black, but if his brother stepped in, Sirius might think twice, simply because Regulus would know all his weaknesses.
It’s not a pairing I’ve thought much about, but hey, why not? It makes a hundred times more sense than Jegulus, and in the end, they were only a year apart, shared the same house, and probably had mutual friends. And Sirius would have had an aneurysm if he ever found out they were or had been involved — which is a bonus for shipping them, hahahahaha.
Severus pairings with any of the Marauders seem problematic to me for obvious reasons, since shipping a victim with their bully isn’t something I’m particularly fond of. That said, I understand Snirius because they have a lot in common while having diametrically opposed personalities. They love in very similar ways, and both have explosive tempers in their own ways, so the dynamic could be really interesting if handled well. My issue with Snirius is that the fics I’ve read don’t really explore Severus’s trauma or the consequences it would have on a relationship. If I were to write about that pairing, it would be a long fic where 60% of the plot is pure drama about how Sirius’s past as Severus’s bully is the main problem in the relationship — because it should be. The few fics I’ve read have left me pretty unsatisfied in that regard because Sirius repents way too quickly, and everything is resolved as if nothing happened, or the issue isn’t even properly addressed. Sorry, but that’s just not realistic.
I can’t see Snupin, though — I have something personal against Lupin, ironically, because he’s the one people have been headcanoning as queer since the dawn of time. But to me, he’s the most straightforwardly, absolutely, and completely heterosexual character because there’s nothing more straight for a man than leaving a pregnant woman and running off. For that reason alone, I can’t see him with anyone but a woman. Sorry, he’s the Ted Mosby of the wizarding world.
And with James, it’s just a no. Like, absolutely not. If you want an enemies-to-lovers dynamic, you already have Sirius, who’s at least mentally unwell and deeply depressed. James and Severus have nothing in common personality-wise — they’re completely incompatible.
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edgeray · 2 months ago
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*vibrates*
So many wips… 👀
Ok so. IDK. I have. So many “want to sees”. So I’m just gonna list them 🤷‍♀️
Ghost Clervie AU. I’m imagining Clervie watching as Peruere- sorry, *Arlecchino* develops her “cold, strict, and unfeeling Father persona”. But she quickly reverts back to Peruere in the presence of Clervie when Arle figures out she isn’t hallucinating and this isn’t some scheme of someone trying to throw her off balance.
(I’m actually just realizing the parallels of Furina making her Archon persona and Peruere with her Father persona 🤔 Both masks are there in order to better protect the people that rely on them (Fontaine’s citizens and the Hearths Children respectively)). Anyways.
Isekai-ed Arlecchino. I’m just wondering at how that would work and how serious you would make the writing take itself. Like would it be crack, crack that takes itself serious, or serious? (You don’t need to answer that. I was just pondering)
Modern Cat or Bunny Shifter Arle. Arle in her animal form has a nearly 100% coat with the exception of one ear that’s black. It’s cute. Also, I see her as a bunny with floppy ears that are so long that she trips over them XD I’m giggling at the thought she might even be one of those massive bunny breeds too. This makes me wonder if the House exists and whether or not the rest are also shapeshifters. Like a haven for shapeshifters, if you will.
Pirate Arle. You know (you don’t, but I’m telling you 😅) I’m a sucker for enemies(who actually aren’t all that bad) taking in and caring for an abandoned enemy.
Historical Goddess Arle. I think the fact that Reader prays for a painless death rather than no death at all could be intriguing to Arle who probably regularly gets prayers from people not wanting to die?
Spiderwoman Arle. It’s not a want, it’s a need. I’m also a sucker for secret identity relationships. 
Arlecchino w/ Cursed Bio Child.
Alien Arle and Human Reader. Arle and Clervie internally seething at getting another runaway test subject (not at the human, at the fact they were experimented on). That(the facility) would need to be taken care of… (badass ArlexClervie couple who are leaders of an organization who take down illegal trafficking rings, experiment facilities, etc? 👀) Once the newcomer gets adjusted to their new home, of course.
Arlecchino x Alive/Knave Clervie.
Sorry if any of that/the extra commentary seems like I’m trying to press for any of this. Yeah, these are requests. If that’s ok 🙂
👉👈 Hopefully it isn’t overwhelming.
The Other End of the Blade
(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)
A/N - Hi anon, sorry for being late with this anon! I really love your commentary on all of your (mine?) ideas so don’t worry about it! I’ll put more of a response at the end of this.  This one is going to be pirate AU because I too crave some enemies to lovers right now. One piece is the only basis I have for pirates so apologies if it's not alike to other pirate media.    Those of you wondering where this list of ideas come from, it’s from my ideas/wip post, where I store all of the silly little ideas for fanfics. Feel free to request from anything on that list.
Content warnings / info - enemies to lovers, semi-graphic violence, heavily one piece inspired, got WAY too invested into this whoops, 4.0k words
Before you could read books, you could read wanted posters. Before you could spell out your name, you could write down ‘pirate’ and ‘wanted dead or alive.’ Before you could write, you throw a mean punch. Before you knew how to play, you knew how to fight. And before you knew how to count your fingers, you could tie knots. Before you knew what a Marine was, you already were one. And before you knew what ‘love’ means, you knew what hate was and who to hate: pirates. Hatred towards them coursed alongside your blood through your veins. 
Pirates are the scum of the seas, raiders from the depths of the oceans that have come to pillage towns and wreak havoc over the prospering empires. They’re sick people who only know how to steal and how to kill. They rob lives without an ounce of hesitance, ignorant to the misery and suffering they force upon people because of their actions. The world would be better off without them. That way, all people can live in peace without worry from murderers and pillagers like them. Pirates are everything you should hate and you swear that you're going to make it so not one person has to be afraid of their shores–they'll never have to look at the horizon wondering if they see pirate ships in the distance cruising towards them. 
If there is one thing that your family has instilled into you, it would be that a world free of suffering is a world free of pirates. Like every other family member before you, you've been set on the path of greatness that is to eradicate every one of those vermin since birth. The only aspiration you could have is rising the ranks of the Marines. Generations of your family served in the Marine, holding the highest positions. Being anything short of one of the admiral positions, (the lowest of which ranking fourth highest in authority) is a disgrace, a stain on your one of the most prominent Marine families. 
Rising towards the ranks was no difficulty for you. It's only about two years since you've joined the Marines, and you've already risen to a commander position. For reference, even the best of soldiers take four to five years to be promoted to that level. And you know you're about to be promoted–you just need one big case. Just capture one famous pirate, and you know that the Captain rank is yours. One more step closer to cementing your place among the greats of your family. 
– 
Water pelts across your face and the strong sea breeze whips around you. Over your own thumping heart, you can hear the roaring of raging waves paired with the wild flapping of the sails and the creaking of wood. Thudding footsteps rushes all around you, and the clouded sky flashes, thundering. 
“Lower the sails!” You scream at the men as they wrestle with the ropes. Seeing one of the men fumble, you grumble under your breath and shove him away to take over. 
“Get a bucket, and keep getting rid of the water. We need as little water to get into the hull as possible,” you command him, and that's enough to make him useful. 
“Pirate ship spotted!” One of the crew members states and you groan in frustration. A pirate ship at this time? You're only just barely ensuring the vessel does not capsize! Not only is the Marine ship struggling, but no doubt the pirate ship would be too. You release the ropes, seeking out the captain. 
“Captain!” You yell as you head towards him. The cranky man shoots you a snooty glare before turning to a Marine soldier besides him. 
“Hurry up! What flag is it?! Huh? Huh?! Give me a damn answer before I throw you overboard!” Your captain gruffly exclaims at the poor Marine who was holding a spyglass, pointing it towards the oncoming ship. You cringe at the Captain's voice, silently giving sentiments to the other Marine. 
“It's a… um… it.. um…” The Marine stutters, unsure of what to make of the flag. You grind your teeth before wrenching it out of his hands and examining the flag yourself with squinted eyes. In between  heavy rain and dark surroundings, you can just barely recognize the flag: a hand grasping a candle. 
Damn it! At this time?! 
“It's the Hearth pirates!” You announce, tossing the scope to your Captain to see. 
“The Hearth? You mean one of the Harbinger crews?!” The old man grunts before seeing for himself. His facial features morph into one of disbelief before hardening. 
“I want every cannon manned now! Get your weapons ready and drawn! All hands on deck!” The Captain demands. The confusion and disbelief was practically palpable among the Marines, and felt through their second of hesitation before the soldiers’ replied with a ‘yes Captain.’
Is he crazy? What the hell is wrong with him? As much as you would love to capture the notorious Hearth pirates, you knew now was nothing but an imprudent time. Even if the Hearth was among the less deadly of the Harbinger crews, that did not make them any less powerful. You have heard from other Marines’ hushed whispers that it takes at least a large fleet (5 Marine ships) to take down one entire Harbinger ship, and even that was theoretical. The Fatui pirates as a whole are damn near unstoppable, but the Harbingers themselves are monsters ripped from hell. As much as you hate to admit, you’re not strong enough to defeat a Harbinger, and you have similar doubts for your Captain. Where does he get this pomposity from?
The other men are struggling enough to keep this piece of wood afloat, and now they have to worry about battling pirates? You doubt even the Hearth is eager for a fight. Fighting in this storm would only lead to early graves for both sides. Winning against and capturing the Hearth pirates is unfavorable, but surviving past this storm is indisputable. 
“Wait, Captain!” You call out to him. An annoyed click of his tongue comes from him, as if you were the bother, and it only makes you clench your hands into fists. He turns his back towards you, irritation written all over his expression. 
“What are you standing around for? Get ready already!” He demands with a scrunched face. 
“We can't engage in battle with them yet! We don’t have enough men, and we're already struggling with the storm!” You protest. “We're in no condition to try and fight them!”
Silence. Around you, you hear whispers from the other crewmates, sounds of agreement coming from them. Evidently, this increases the captain's indignation. 
“Quiet!” He screams. “If we're struggling, just think about how they could be faring! They don't have nearly enough resources as us marines do to survive! This is our chance to capture one of the Harbinger crews!
“After all,” he pauses to give you a pointed, haughty look. “We have one of the members of the greatest family? We won't lose with you on our side, right? We're in your hands.”
You bristle, your nails digging into your palm as your lips twitch into a deeper frown. To think he would use your family name against you. What is he even trying to do? You're too stunned to respond and he brushes past you. 
You're absolutely powerless to do anything, and so are the other soldiers on this ship. No one here outranks the Captain. No matter how correct you may be, you would be punished for disobeying a superior's order. If only you could have been promoted earlier, then you wouldn't have to listen to this fool. Had it been you, you would have this ship steered towards the closest Marine base and report what direction the Hearth pirates are going. But you can't do that. You nod pathetically, and the rest of the men disperse. 
You can only watch as the smaller ship approaches closer and closer. As soon as Hearth pirates enter within the firing range, chaos ensues with your Captain's bellowed “FIRE!” 
A cacophony of screams and cannon fire sound through the air, deafening you, and the overpowering smell of gunpowder and brine swarm your nostrils. Like all naval battles, it’s always a blur–just a flash of colors and movements. At some point, the pirate ship approached close enough for them to board onto the Marine ship. You are not aware of this until you find yourself face to face with one of the Hearth pirates. By then, all rationale has been thrown out in favor of instinct–the most precise, miniscule reaction is what keeps you alive the most when it comes to battling pirates. Your surroundings fade from your awareness, your only attention on the figure before you.
She’s a young pirate, that you can tell, but her skills are no less admirable. She has an ever passive, unreadable face that makes predicting her movements hard to discern and even harder to catch off guard. You narrowly dodge another slash of her saber, and your cutlass swishes through the air, only shallowly cutting her sleeve. Despite this, she is far from deterred, and you have to parry another swing. The steel of the blades screeches as your blades clash against each other. Now at a temporary standstill, the both of you exchange eye contact for a brief moment. Lilac eyes, brimming with determination, skirts away from yours. She pulls away only to lunge again, a thrust of her blade heading towards you abdomen but you dodge, side-stepping it. The blade skims just past you, embedding into the wood of one of the masts. Realizing the given opportunity, you give a swift kick to the pirate’s stomach, disconnecting her hand from the handle of her sword. She tumbles onto the ground with a grunt, and you use no time to close the distance. 
Just as you are about to deliver another blow, a loud gunshot sounds through, making you flinch. A sharp pain erupts from your left shoulder and you stumble back from the young pirate. You cock your head, peering behind you. This action allows you to narrowly miss two oncoming daggers, though your cheek and neck get nicked. Spinning on your heel, you face the dagger wielding pirate fully. He’s a young boy, with a top hat and matching eyes of the saber user. Siblings, perhaps? The fierceness in his eyes confirms your suspicions. 
You charge at the boy, but before reaching him, a large wave crashes into the boat, water spilling overboard and throwing you off balance. The sudden impact makes you lose your balance, and you’re hurtled towards the railings of the ship, your back slamming into it. An audible crack emits from the collision and your spine screams out in agony. Lifting yourself into a crawling position, you glance up at the havoc over the deck. 
A bit close to you is your captain, fighting against a white-haired woman. Given the striking polearm she wields, that must be the Knave, one of the eleven Harbingers of the Fatui pirates. Her movements are graceful, every thrust and slash calculated and precise. In contrast, your captain’s movements are botched, desperate. Every output of effort from him is just for another instance of him scraping by with his life. Each parry with his saber leaves his arms trembling. He is a bumbling mess compared to the Knave. Easily, you can tell it’s a losing battle for your captain. He’s outclassed. 
You’re about to rise when a flicker of bright light catches your gaze. Your eyes widen as you turn your head to spot a bright orange mass covering a part of the deck, and it only grows the longer you gaze at it. The flames stalk towards you with a terrifying space. Despite your body’s protest, you beckon your body to stand. When you have both feet on the wooden planks, you head towards your captain to assist him in his battle. Abruptly, the Marine ship shakes, another current assaulting its side. Swept off your feet, your body is flung, your lower abdomen hitting the top of the railings while you roll off of the ship. It’s only by sheer luck that your hand catches the base of the railing, holding onto it with all the strength you could muster in your left arm. The rest of your body hangs over the ever-swallowing sea. 
Your grasp is slipping because of the rain. You grunt as you try to lift yourself with just one arm. Opening your mouth, you clench your teeth onto the spine of your cutlass, freeing up your right arm to grip onto the base of another fence. With much effort, you’re able to heave your head up so that your eyesight is just over the floor. You can spot the familiar boots of the captain. Every muscle in your arm is straining, burning painfully. Holding on for much longer is impossible.
The cutlass has to go. You let the weapon fall from your mouth, and it plunges into the waters below. 
“Captain! Captain!” The guttural outcry comes from your lips. There’s the groaning of wood breaking. A large shadow looms over you, and you lift your gaze. The mast above tilts down, forewarning its collapse on top of you. 
“CAPTAIN!” You scream out, no longer having the strength to lift your head above the deck. You dangle helplessly, your grip slacking with each second. 
You hear thumping footsteps towards you, and you have never been more grateful to see the unsightliness of your captain’s face peering over the railings. 
For a moment, he does nothing, viewing your vulnerable state. His lips twitch, a small smile stretches over his face. He turns away briefly, glancing in both the right and left direction, before focusing on you again. 
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure that they know you fought honorably,” he says, venom in his voice. “So go ahead and let go.”
Your blood freezes, and his face disappears. Your arms can no longer continue and you let up. 
You fall, plunging into the icy cold waters. The iciness does not just seep into your blood, but your muscles and tendons too, making your body heavy. Air is stolen away from you and you flail and kick to the surface for air. Everything hurts. As you sputter for oxygen, coughing out the saltwater, your vision catches the glimpse of a long brown mass toppling down onto you. It’s the last thing you see when something hits the back of your head, and everything fades into an inky abyss. 
Everything hurts. It's the first thing that comes to you when you are able to grasp even a bit of consciousness. You feel it in your limbs, your back, your abdomen, essentially anything above your waist has a stabbing sensation in it. A groan, followed by a deep suction of air, emerges from you, and you lift your head up. Your eyes flutter open, bright light stabbing into your eyes. You let out a pained groan, rolling your neck to ease its discomfort but find it unhelpful. 
Your eyes adjust to the orange glow of your surroundings. You blink several times to relieve the blurriness in your vision, able to see more clearly. Given the rocking motion and the familiar sound of waves crashing, you would reckon you're on a ship. Looking down at yourself, you're seated on a chair. You attempt to sit up, only to find yourself unable to. Rope digs into the skin of your bound wrists, and you let out a string of expletives in a single defeated sigh. 
“Did you learn that tongue from the Marines?” A cutthroat voice resounds through the room. 
You dip your head, turning towards the figure. A tall woman leans against the wall in the corner, a good bit of distance away. White and black strands, charcoal hands, crimson crossed-pupils, and the epitome of beauty and refinement that marks the appearance of the Knave. Strange to find that among pirates, of all brutish people. Your hazy mind clears in an instant, and you sit up straighter. The pirate captain's presence brings about your most recent memories onto the forefront of your mind in short bursts. With a forceful swallow, you recognize that you have been captured by the Hearth pirates. If you're alive rather than dead, that means they have some use for you. Whatever it is, you need to escape from this. You can only do that when you fish for enough information. 
Taking in your surroundings, you'd have to guess you're in some storage room. Stacked barrels make up the majority of the room. Perhaps if you're able to access the contents of the barrels, you can use them to escape. If not, you could easily ruin their supplies, including food and water. 
“I just thought communicating would be easier in your language,” you snark back, observing the Harbinger's reaction. Expectedly, she remains inexpressive, revealing nothing. She leans away from the wall, stalking towards you. Heels click against the floorboards. Only pirates would have the audacity to be wearing such compromising shoes out on the sea. 
She stands before you, unmoving, her piercing gaze smiliarly fixated on your form. When nothing comes from her lips, you make conversation first.
“Admiring me?” 
This earns a humorless chuckle. “There's nothing to admire.” 
Ow. 
A frown comes across your face. Acting coy does not work on pirates like the Knave. The Knave seems like someone who only responds to directness. No use in stalling. 
“What happened to my crew?”
“They were alive when we left them.” 
“And are they still alive?”
“Presumably.” 
You grit your teeth, lunging at her in anger. Your bounds don't allow for much movement, and it only makes your chair screech across the floor boards towards the pirate. “You left them in the middle of the storm with a ruined ship! You killed them!” 
“You were the fools that decided to attack us.”
“You would have attacked us first! You scum aren't above anything! How can I even trust your word? How do I not know you're not lying to my face?! How do I know you haven't slaughtered them all?!” You scream, thrashing against the ropes wildly.  
“I doubt any persuasion could relieve your distrust. I see that any sort of conversation with you will be futile,” the pirate remarks. She spins on her heel, heading towards the door. You're almost tempted to let her if it means the chance of never seeing her face again, until another thought crosses your mind. 
Why did she want some sort of conversation with you?
“Wait.”
The Knave stops in her tracks. “Are you choosing to be civil for once?” 
You scrunch your nose. “Never mind. I can't bear seeing your face again.” 
An audible huff comes from the pirate before she does face back towards. 
“Why did you… why did you keep me alive? Why did you spare me? Why did you…” You pause, recalling back to your last memories. You were knocked unconscious by falling debris, that you were sure of. You should have drowned by all accounts. You doubt your crewmates have saved you–you hate to admit it, but you would have sunk to the seabed before one of them had noticed. Your crewmates would have been too focused on the pirates to have. If it wasn't any one from your party, then that only leaves the opposing party. However, there is no logical reason for them to. You'd sooner accept divine intervention rather than pirates having rescued you. 
The voice in your head, the voice that has been fostered since your childhood, tells you that it is neither of those two, just a sick sense of karma. Pirates aren't capable of any good doing. If they've kept you alive, it's because they intend to hurt you even more. They're inhuman monsters who only know how to steal and steal, until nothing of you is left. Wretched people that shouldn't even have the luxury of being labeled as ‘humans.’ 
“Why am I here?” You finally settle on those words. 
Silence stretches for a single moment before she begins. “You encountered two of my children, yes?” 
You raise your eyebrows at the mention of ‘children.’ You're aware that some captains likened themselves to a parental figure of their crew–it seems like the Knave is one of those cases. You think back to the young ash blond pirates you briefly fought. 
“The swordswoman and the dagger thrower,” you reply.
“Correct. I found Lyney as a child, when I was wandering the alleys of a shoretown. He bumped into me because he was in a hurry to save his sister from being sold to a high ranking Marine.”
Shock envelopes your face as you process those words. A Marine? Someone whose duty is to protect citizens? A high ranking Marine? Someone whose performance and power is praiseworthy and yet they would do something like that? The thought sickens you. That kind of behavior… that can only pertain to a pirate right? It is not possible for a Marine to act that way. Other Marine officials would have never allowed it. She must be feeding falsehoods to trick you, to get you to betray your family and duty. There's no way this would happen. 
Despite your inner turmoil, Arlecchino continues. “When I took them in, fed them and gave them somewhere to sleep, it took several months for Lyney to sleep in his own quarters. He couldn't be torn away from his sister's quarters. Any chore assigned to him, Lynette had to be beside him. You would have to possess a superhuman strength to separate him from her.”
You could imagine why. Your stomach churns uncomfortably, hating the fact that with every word, her story seems more and more plausible. Why were you even considering this fabricated story? Why were you being swayed by a pirate's tongue?
“Why are you telling me this? You didn't take me to tell your kids’ sob story,” you remark. 
“Every single person on this ship has been dealt an unfortunate hand by the Marines. My children,” she speaks with a hint of indignation, her voice chillingly sincere, “have suffered and wept because of a Marine. Not one of them has ever had a good history with a Marine.” 
She gives you a pointed look, one that makes your blood boil. You hate it, you want to gauge her eyes out because you can see the glint of sympathy in them. “I see now that it's not just people having been harmed by the Marines. But their own people too.” 
“I am not some pitiful stray you found on the street!” You scream, having heard enough of this. “I have not been wronged by-” 
“Your captain abandoned you.” That is all it takes to silence you, and your outburst dies the instant it comes. Any protests on your lips is pummeled away by the heaviness in your chest that forms whenever you think back to that moment. Arms aching, helpless and dangling, and the man you relied upon to lead you and guide you, turns away. He left you, simple as that, to die. Why? You couldn't even fathom a reason. How could a captain do that? After all your service, after all you've done for him, he leaves you.
“You would have died because of a self-serving captain.” 
And you still have the audacity to try and defend him. The Marines are all you know. He was just one man. That did not mean all the Marines were like that. “He was just one man.”
“One man is all it takes. One man is one too many. And if that were true, no one else would be on my ship. I do not believe that all Marines are as revolting as him. Quite the opposite. But there is enough and that's the problem. 
“You may find it hard to believe, but we want to welcome you. If you choose to so stubbornly reject our hospitality and company, we will drop you off at the nearest island so you may return to your duty. But here, we at least know of loyalty and family, I assure you that.” 
The Knave approaches you. You hear the unsheathing of a blade and you feel your wrists relieved from their bounds. You gape at her. 
“Welcome to the House of the Hearth.” 
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More A/N: I know this was really long, and not at all romantic, but I got way too invested into the plot of it all to actually focus on the romance. Please someone request a part two because I haven't enjoyed writing a piece this much in a while (i know my inbox is closed for requests but I will make this an exception. This was such a fun piece that really had me invested the entire time while writing. I would love to see Arlecchino's and Reader's relationship develop more. I hope you guys enjoyed this because it's now the longest request I've ever written.
I'm not done yapping, unfortunately. To address anon's commentary. First of all, never be sorry for the commentary. I love yapping, as you may be able to tell. I love hearing your guys' ideas and I think they're all so cool!! (I'm also lonely :v pls talk to me anons).
I love, love, love Arlecchino's character, and I so wish to see it more explored in x Reader fics (I have something like this in the works ehehe) and I totally see the comparison between Furina and Clervie (even though I don't ship Arlefuri).
I've already written Goddess! Arlecchino x Reader! I've linked it in case you haven't seen it before. I'm also working on an Alien! Arlecchino x Human! Reader, so not quite like the Alien AU! Arlevie, but I thought it's something you might be interested. I think that Bunny! Arle would be more like her plush in the Arlecchino animation, but seeing her with floppy ears is such a cute image. With the Isekai AU, I guess it really depends on my mood. (I've also put a different concept for an Arlecchino Isekai-ed AU in the same post), but likely the one mentioned in your asks will have more crack.
I really want to think you for your conideration of my ideas!! It means a lot to me that people actually see them and like can envision it and feel the raw potential for that story like I do. I know it took super long for me to get to this request and it might not even be how you wanted but I hope you like it. <333
Note to future requests: if you guys give me a list of ideas you want me to do (bc you're as indecisive as I am), I can pick one to write :33)
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smilesatdawnmain · 10 days ago
Text
Reverse Taken (To Catch a Thief)
I could put this on AO3... but then I would have to write full chapters. And you all KNOW how I am about my chapters. They are long- and complicated- and- and this is an AU of an AU people. I got ideas for snippets, but if I sit down and actually try to write a fanfic about this-
.... I might lose my mind.
SO TAKE THE SNIPPETS! (I hope you enjoy)
Summary: MK meets "the Spider Prince" for the first time
----------------------
“Finally-“ Red Son’s shoulders were lifting and falling, a bubble of maniacal cackling working up from the back of his throat. Mei leaned back a little as it erupted to a full crescendo, “That little Thief's ruin is here!!” 
“Okay, Red Son-“ Mei began to say 
“Can you feel it Dragon Horse girl?! The end to our suffering!” He threw his arm out, his hair messy, and clothes stained. 
Mei grimaced, “When was the last time you got sleep man?” 
“I’ll sleep when this nuisance is out of our hair!” Red Son’s hair fumed, tinkering with the trap-triggering device for the 10th time. 
While Mei was all for getting this guy out of their hair, she wasn’t exactly on board with Red Son losing sleep over it. “Nothing says “I’m obsessed over you” like an elaborate 30-step plan of capture,” she whistled, eyeing the schematics. 
Red Son grouched over his shoulder, “I am not obsessed.”
”Right right,” she nodded, “Can’t be fantasizing about the enemy, totally get it.”
Red Son was sputtering, his hair erupting into sharp flames, “F-Fantasizing?! I do not- That ruffian is-“
”Clever, the bad boy type, has a cute face- He’s your type,” she snorted, eyeing a wrench as she said this. As casual as mentioning the weather. She smirked when he continued to fume and disagree, sounding like a high-pitched steam pipe. 
“Shut up, Mei!” Red Son shouted, swatting the air dismissively. “I have no ‘type! I am simply showing them that one should never mess with the son of the Demon Bull King!’” A nervous chuckle escaped him as he tried to suppress the flush creeping across his cheeks. He concentrated on his device again, though the intricate mechanisms were starting to blur in front of his eyes.
She didn't miss a beat, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall. “Oh please, just admit it,” she teased. “You want to catch him and then... what? Make him pen a love letter that starts with ‘Dear Red Son, I can’t stop thinking about your smoldering hair and striking remarks’? Are you going to serenade him under the moonlight after you pin him down? I hear Demons used to gain their mates that way. Court napping,” she smirked. “You were raised in the ways of olden times~”
Red Son whipped around, his eyes wide with a mix of fury and embarrassment that flared into a fresh wave of heat. “I’m not some lovesick fool!” he yelled, his voice cracking slightly as he tried to regain composure. “This is about—about justice! That bastard has been making a mockery of everything I’ve built!”
“Right,” Mei replied innocently, pressing her lips together to stifle laughter. “A mockery or your unending attraction?”
Red Son opened his mouth to retort, but the words tangled in his throat, “T-There’s no way he could ever—ever—live up to my rank and standing!” He had barely even seen the man’s face for Pete’s sake! How dare she assume he had anything but loathing to the thief.
Before he could spit a slew of curse words at her audacity, the door was sliding open behind them. The ace to their plan had arrived. 
“MK!” Mei threw her arms up, running to the arriving Monkey Prince. He stood like a light in the dark, his chocolate hair curled back, a spot of color above his eyes to highlight the golden traits he inherited from his Father. He grinned, and if you were to look at it for long enough, you might mistake it for the sun itself.
"Mei," he says, extending his arms out. They embraced, chuckling as they nuzzled foreheads.
“Glad you could make it.”
”Well, my Dad is in town to talk with your grandpa, so it works out. I told him we were testing Red Son’s latest invention.” Which wasn’t a lie, and thus slipped below his Father’s all-knowing eyes of detection. In truth, there was a new invention- all with the intent of catching some troublesome thief Mei and Red Son had been struggling to take care of. He was honestly surprised that neither was having luck with this guy. 
Apart of the Spider Queen’s crew, as far as they all knew. A well-known spy for her forces, but never one to really show himself publicly. He was a Demon Monkey, as far as most were concerned. Not many sightings to fully confirm, far too sneaky. It was only because of Mei and Red Son that they knew for sure he was- but it was always far too dark to see his face. Only that tail of his curling behind him was their true indication. 
“A rouge monkey sure is odd,” he wonders. If he had told his Dad the truth, he probably would have wanted to investigate it himself- as King of the Monkeys. MK wanted to try his hand at it first, however. As the Future King, it was kind of his job. At least it felt like his job. 
“So exactly why do you need me?” he inquired, eager to help where he could. 
“Your eyes,” Mei tapped her temple. “This guy- he always strikes at night, when it is dark. Even with my eyes, it’s just- ughh, he’s so annoying. I can barely see him.” Like the guy was just one with the dark. ”But you, you got that super awesome Gold vision! Doesn’t matter how dark it is, you’ll be able to see him. So he can’t get away if he manages to get out of the trap Red Son set up.”
Speaking of, they both looked over to their friend hunching down to connect some power cables. A real cat-and-mouse chase going on. Seems Red Son was the one most affected by this demon- too much of his supplies swept right from under his nose! 
“You are just a precaution.” Red Son grumbled. “This plan is fail-proof.” 
“Do we know what this guy even wants?” MK inquired. 
Mei shrugged, “I dunno. He steals metal and tools from Red Son.” 
“If I look at the list of everything together, it is hard to give an accurate theory. However, these are building materials at their finest. For Mei, most of her stolen items are relics. Perhaps intended to pull the power from.” He sighs, rubbing his eyes. “I can only assume it is with the intention to build something. Spider Queen is always scheming.”
Mei cracked her knuckles, “And losing!” Whenever she showed her face, her Grandpa was always quick to knock her back down. Of course, it would be great if they could actually capture the lady to end this- but she always managed to slip away. 
Mei was starting to feel like it was thanks to this little thief. So, if they deal with him, the next time they deal with Spider Queen, they could nab her too. Two birds, one stone. 
“Huh, okay,” MK eyed the schematics. They seemed far too complicated for a simple thief. “Isn’t this a little overkill?”
”Hardly,” Red Son scoffed. ‘You haven’t dealt with this peasant before. Believe me, I should be adding more.” When MK looked at Mei for confirmation, she shrugged lightly but nodded. 
“Then, how are you so positive he’ll show up tonight?”
”We set out some bait,” Mei smirked, showing her social media account. ”Red Boy over here figured out that must be how this guy is learning what Red Son has in stock cause-“
”Cause YOU can’t keep yourself from vlogging in my workshop and revealing everything I have!” Red Son barked, making her flinch and laugh sheepishly. 
“Yeahhhh-“ she snickered, “So, I vlogged myself by all his new stock. Upgrades, metal, tools- Shiny things galore! He won’t be able to resist.” As she was positive most of the stuff he stole from her was not because he needed it, but because it was shiny. “He’s like a moth. He’ll show.” She slammed her fists together, ‘And when he gets here, we’ll bag him, get his number for Red Son, and then off to jail he goes!”
“Right-!!” MK trailed off, “Wait, what was that about Red Son-?”
“Nothing!” Red Son barked, his cheeks flushing a deep crimson. He shot Mei an incredulous glare that only seemed to fuel her teasing grin.
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Mk chuckled, shifting his weight on the balls of his feet, “Come on, you can't just drop a bomb like that and not expect me to question it.”
“It’s nothing!” Red Son shrieked.
He pushed MK out of the workshop, giving him a spot to hold the position of. “Just wait here. Keep your eye out. If he manages to escape, which he won’t, but just in case, you need to block his exit.”
MK nodded, taking his position outside the edge of Red Son’s workshop. It was just outside the city, in a little mini apartment he owned. His own personal space away from his parents to work on his own time and schedule. It had been good for him- finding himself and what he wanted after he moved out of his parents. Really made him feel… grownup. Of course, compared to Mei and him, Red Son was. He was 21 almost 22, while they were 19. MK hadn’t even considered the idea of- moving. He could, if he wanted to, but it felt strange to want to leave the Mountain, the tribe… For the time being he mostly spent his time learning the ropes of being King from his Dad. Doing some hero work here and there in defense of humans.
He wouldn’t even know where he would go if he did leave home. Would he get a job? Travel? He shook his head,
As the night deepened, MK's senses sharpened. His golden eyes scanned the perimeter, alert for any sign of movement.
Hours passed uneventfully. Just as MK was beginning to wonder if their trap would work, a flicker of motion caught his eye. A shadow, darker than the night itself, detached from a nearby building and slunk towards the workshop.
MK tensed, sinking a little lower as he watched it slip into Red Son’s apartment. He wasn’t quite sure what he expected from Red Son’s plan, but he hadn’t really expected it to work.
Because it did.
Well, kind of.
MK was starting to get the idea of what Mei and Red Son meant when they said “This guy was tricky to catch”. Red Son’s plan was to get some inhibitor cuffs around the thief, to prevent him from using any demonic powers. From the ZAP and spark of blue, that seemed to have worked- or, the cuffs had at least been activated.
A moment later, however, all hell seemed to break loose within the apartment. Chairs were tossed, and furniture toppled.
MK winced as he heard the crashing and banging from inside. Red Son's shrill voice pierced through the chaos, yelling obscenities and threats. Mei's laughter rang out, punctuated by more crashes.
"Uh, guys?" MK called out hesitantly, pressing to the communicator in one of his six ears. "Everything okay in there?"
"Just peachy!" Mei's voice crackled through the communicator, breathless with exertion and amusement. "Our little thief is quite the acrobat! Got the cuffs on him but the net didn’t really work- Gah!” Mei sounded like she was tripped.
A loud crash followed her words, accompanied by Red Son's indignant shriek. "Stop jumping around, you insufferable primate!"
MK shifted uneasily, torn between maintaining his position and rushing in to help. The sounds of the struggle continued, punctuated by occasional flashes of light visible through the windows.
Suddenly, a dark figure burst through one of the upper windows, glass shattering outward. A blur shot against the fire escape, landing nimbly on the metal. MK's eyes widened as he got his first clear look at the elusive thief.
It was indeed a monkey demon, lithe and agile, with a long fluffy tail. Light fur- nearly white, with a tint of green. He couldn’t quite see their face.
The thief's wrists were bound by glowing blue cuffs, but he seemed unfazed as he vaulted over the railing, scaling the drain to the roof top above using just his feet and tail.
“He’s loose! MK-!” Red Son bellowed.
"On it!" MK shouted into his communicator, already in pursuit. His feet barely touched the ground as he raced after the fleeing thief, golden eyes locked on the shadowy form ahead.
The thief was fast, weaving through rooftops and shooting across powerlines with inhuman agility. But MK was no ordinary pursuer. He closed the gap steadily, his own monkey-like grace allowing him to match the thief's acrobatics.
As they raced across the city skyline, MK caught fleeting glimpses of his quarry. The demon monkey's fur gleamed nearly silver in the moonlight, and there was something oddly familiar about the way he moved. MK shook off the nagging feeling, focusing on the chase.
“Hey!” he called, a strange- bubbling sensation in his chest. It startled him.
Whole
Like a punch to his gut, he staggered, barely catching himself when the two leaped over a massive gap between buildings. He rolled to press his palms to the floor, on his knees and panting.
What??
Whole
He felt like his soul was being pieced together, suddenly and without warning. Flushes of sensations and warmth were coming to him. The strange sensations were intensifying, making it hard to focus. He touched his hand to his chest, wheezing. His other half? Here? Close? Where??
WHERE?!
When he looked up, he found the thief paused, having whipped around to face him. He had no reason to stop- in fact, he could have used this as his chance to gain a serious lead to MK, but the Monkey did stop.
His eyes were wide, his tail puffed and curled around him. For the first time that night, MK could see his eyes. They were auburn and frantic- as frantic as his own. As panicked as his own.
He had a marking like a butterfly against his face. His face seemed so… strikingly familiar.
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The thief stood frozen, his auburn eyes locked with MK's golden ones. Narrowed like a cornered animal, only to soften the moment their eyes locked.
For a moment, the world seemed to fall away, leaving just the two of them suspended in this strange, charged moment.
His other half. It was him...!
"Who... who are you?" MK managed to gasp out, his voice barely above a whisper. He stood, his knees shaky.
The thief's tail twitched nervously, his bound hands flexing against the glowing cuffs.
The thief's mouth opened, then closed, as if struggling to find words. His eyes darted between MK and the path behind him, clearly torn between flight and... something else. "I..." the thief started, his voice low and hesitant. "I don't..." his eyes suddenly softened- vulnerable as he looked upon MK. “A-Are you-?” he stammered, his voice small.
He was cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps and Red Son's angry shouts growing closer. The thief's eyes widened in panic, and he took a step back, ready to bolt.
"Wait!" MK cried, reaching out instinctively. "Please, I... I feel like I know you! I… It’s you- isn’t it?!” he pleaded. His other half. His other half!! It had to be! It felt so right. He got closer- closer- blocking out whatever might be behind him.
He was standing face to face with this Monkey, who trembled like a leaf in the wind. Ready to bolt at a moment's notice like a frightened kitten.
The thief hesitated, his eyes darting between MK and the approaching voices. For a moment, it seemed he might flee, but then his shoulders sagged, and he took a tentative step towards MK. "I... I feel it too," he whispered, his voice trembling. "Like I've known you my whole life, but we've never met." his brain was screaming at him to run- but his heart, his soul- everything he was from his toes to the tip of his head knew- he had to stay. This was right where he belongs.
MK was nodding wildly, “Yeah- Yeah exactly!” he choked. His heart raced as he reached out, his fingers barely brushing the thief's cheek. A jolt of electricity seemed to pass between them at the contact, and both gasped.
The thief leaned into MK's touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. When he opened them again, they were filled with tears. “O-Oh-”
They were whole....
Years of just- just empty existence seemed to weight on their shoulders. They had gotten accustomed to this life. When one was forced to, they could adapt to anything. But to suddenly be given light at the end of the tunnel- it was staggering.
MK surged forward, tugging this man into a hug. If his hands weren’t bound, the thief would have clung to MK with all he had, but for now, all he could do was nuzzle into the Prince’s shoulder. The two were sinking to the floor, small sniffles coming from one, and little chirps coming from the other. MK was nearly tucking the other against him, hiding him away from the world.
He didn’t understand what was going on. How this thief was- was everything he had been looking for, but it didn’t matter. He was here. He was real. And MK was never letting him go again.
The two monkeys clung to each other, their bodies trembling with the intensity of their connection. MK felt as if he'd found a piece of himself he hadn't even known was missing. The thief's scent, his warmth– it all felt achingly familiar and utterly right.
"I've been looking for you," MK whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I didn't even know I was looking, but I've been searching my whole life."
The thief nodded against MK's chest, his bound hands awkwardly between them. "I've felt so lost," he murmured, his voice muffled. "Like I was missing something vital. But now..." He pulled back slightly, gazing into MK's eyes with wonder. "Now I feel whole." he was blubbering at the end, tears so easily flowing from his cheeks.
MK's heart swelled with an overwhelming mix of joy and protectiveness. He brushed a tear away from his own cheek, giving a weak laugh, “What is your name?”
The thief lifted his shoulder to awkwardly rub his cheek to the fabric, trying to clean his face a tad, “Xiaozhizhu.” he murmured.
"Xiaozhizhu," MK repeated softly. Little… Spider. Ooh- uhhh- it’s fine. It’s fine.
“You don’t like my name,” the man says immediately. MK flinched, stunned he- no, no it wasn’t shocking. Of course, Xiaozhizhu realized. He must have felt how MK recoiled. When MK stammered to explain, Xiaozhizhu’s eyes were set and scrutinizing- almost like he was reading something. “You don’t like spiders,” he says next. A single glance into MK’s mind was all he needed- and something he wasn’t even aware he could really do until that moment. It just came so naturally. As easy as reading a book. “I-I didn’t mean to pry,” he says, realizing what he did now was odd.
MK was wide-eyed, shaking his head, “No no, it’s fine. You… You like spiders,” he took could peer into Xiaozhizhu’s head. Small glimpses and emotions. “They are family to you.”
“Yeah…” Xiaozhizhu nods. “B-But… What is your name?” he perked up a little, tail relaxing, naturally reaching and coiling for MK’s.
“I’m Qi Xiaotian, but I also go by MK.”
Xiaozhizhu's eyes widened in recognition. "The Monkey Prince? I... I've heard stories about you." A flicker of worry crossed his face. "I'm not... Oh, you are here to arrest me.”
MK and Xiaozhizhu both pale. Oh yeah…
With imperfect timing, Red Son and Mei were vaulting behind them, tracking the two using MK’s communicator. “You got him, MK!” Mei whooped.
Red Son stomped forward, his hair flaming with irritation. "Finally! Hand him over, Noodle Boy! It's time this pest faced justice!"
Xiaozhizhu was sinking against MK, hiding his face behind his other half. His ears were flat, eyes trembling.
MK's heart raced as he looked between Xiaozhizhu and his approaching friends. He couldn't let them take him - not now, not when he'd just found his other half. He could feel the churning thoughts of Xiaozhizhu’s own panic- his fear for a cage. His fear of his freedom being taken away. Of letting down his family. Of being alone… again.
No.
In a split second decision, he grabbed Xiaozhizhu's bound hands.
"I got you," he whispered, catching Xiaozhizhu’s startled eyes. He gave a little wink then loudly called out, "OH NO! He's getting away!" With that, MK leapt off the roof, pulling Xiaozhizhu with him. Mei and Red Son were sharply calling after them, running to the edge to peer down. The two plummeted several stories before MK's staff extended, catching on a nearby building and swinging them to safety in the window of the building they clung to.
MK and Xiaozhizhu tumbled through the open window, landing in a heap on the dusty floor of what appeared to be an abandoned office. They lay there for a moment, hearts racing, before MK scrambled to his feet and helped Xiaozhizhu up. He checked him off, dusting off shards of glass.
“Sorry, that was dumb. Sorry-We need to get those cuffs off," MK whispered urgently, glancing towards the window where he could hear Red Son and Mei's distant shouts.
Xiaozhizhu nodded, holding out his bound wrists. "I don’t know how-”
MK was grasping the edges, eyebrows furrowing, “Don’t move.” He concentrated, his eyes glowing with golden energy as he grasped the cuffs. With a sharp twist and a burst of power, the inhibitor cuffs cracked and fell away. Xiaozhizhu gasped as his powers rushed back, flexing his newly freed wrists.
"Thank you," he breathed, rubbing his arms. His eyes darted nervously to the window. "You- You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to,” MK says. He reached out, gently taking Xiaozhizhu's hands in his own. They chuckled, putting their hands out to let them connect- to feel the connection in detail. "I couldn't let them take you. Not when I've just found you."
Xiaozhizhu's eyes softened, a small smile tugging at his lips. "But... won't you get in trouble? They're your friends, aren't they?"
MK shrugged, his thumb absently tracing circles on Xiaozhizhu's palm. "I'll figure something out. What matters is that you're safe."
The distant shouts of Red Son and Mei grew closer. MK quickly scrambled into his pocket, pulling out a pen. Biting the top of the cap to uncap it, MK quickly scribbled his phone number on Xiaozhizhu's arm. "Call me, okay? We need to talk more, and figure this out. But for now, you need to go."
Xiaozhizhu nodded, his eyes locked on MK's. He clutched his hand closer, careful not to smudge the numbers, "I will. I promise." Tears welled in his eyes again. “Ahh-” he rubbed them with his other hand, slowly inching back.
MK gave a little chuckle, “Cry baby,”
Xiaozhizhu gave him a mild look of anger, “Bye… Xiaotian.”
“Bye, Xiaozhizhu.” MK lifted his hand, prepared to fend off his friends from pursuing Xiaozhizhu with a fake injury or something along the lines, not sure how much time the guy needed. Yet, it was only when Xiaozhizhu stepped into the shadows- stepping right into them, that he understood how he always got away from Red Son and Mei with such ease.
He could manipulate shadows??
MK stood, dumbfounded. It was then that he understood why Xiaozhizhu seemed so familiar. He was the spitting image of his Baba.
Stunned that thought, he stood there with his mouth hanging open, startled when Mei and Red Son were carefully moving through the shattered window to join him.
MK quickly schooled his expression, trying to look disappointed and frustrated as Mei and Red Son clambered through the window.
"What happened?" Mei demanded, her eyes scanning the room. "Where'd he go?"
"I... I lost him," MK said, running a hand through his hair in feigned frustration. "He slipped away when we landed. He's incredibly fast and agile."
Red Son let out a string of colorful curses, kicking a nearby desk. "I can't believe this! We were so close!"
"Did you at least get a good look at him?”
MK hesitated, still not sure what to make of Xiaozhizhu’s face. His Baba’s face. “I... I did see him up close," he admitted carefully. "But it was dark, and everything happened so fast..."
Red Son was throwing his head back with a groan, miffed. Mei on the other hand stood there, staring openly at MK. She titled her head confused.
...Too dark?
But it was never too dark for MK.
Not sure what happened she placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, MK. Any details you can remember could help us track him down. We’ll get him next time. You got closer than any of us did! Now you know what to expect for next time."
MK swallowed hard, his mind racing. “Yeah…” he mumbled. MK nodded, trying to look determined. "You're right. We'll get him next time." He forced a smile, hoping his friends couldn't see the turmoil in his eyes.
As they made their way back to Red Son's workshop, MK's mind whirled with questions. How was Xiaozhizhu connected to his father? Why did he look so much like him? And most importantly, how was he going to protect his newfound other half while still being loyal to his friends and his duties as the Monkey Prince?
This Summer suddenly got a lot more complicated…
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nevertheless-moving · 11 months ago
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STORMLIGHT ARCHIVE AU MASTERLIST
List will be updated with links if/when AUs develop For my Star Wars AU Masterlist: Please See Here As always, people are more than welcome to play with any of these ideas! just please link back to me so I can see! Seriously if you want to write stuff in any form with ideas from any of these aus I will love you forever! 1 to 20: Words of Radiance AUS 21 to 30: Non Words of Radiance AUs (note: these might also be WOR AUs) 31 to 40: Post Winds and Truth Wild Speculation (that may or may not also be a WOR AU)
1 to 20 Words of Radiance AUS
2. High oath Hesina willshaper aus. This is actually many many AUs because the "Mom??" Reveal is great in all contexts. Concept, WOK Era Outline, Brief Fanfic, Art , Early WOR Outline
3. Renarin asks Kaladin for help with radiant stuff during WOR. Secret training. Everyone thinks they're fucking. Chapter 1 and Outline/Meta
4. Elhokar drunk orders kaladin to bedchambers, begs for help keeping away nighmare creatures. Kaladin nearly kills him before scary spren realization, then goes into serious radiant mode when syl gets concerned. Everyone thinks they're fucking. [Note: I might be too easily entertained by this trope]. Kaladin is deeply pained by this but also has people saving thing and really doesnt want to reveal the radiance to the whole camp. Earlier third oath. Eventual fucking optional.
5. Crack. AUs 3, 4, and 9 at same time so people just think Kaladin is the Kholin Rhysadium. Bridge 4 offers government overthrow if he's being pressured. kaladin assures them that's not it. Now people keep trying to high five him. Kaladin with head in hands while Moash snarks over his shoulder "you know when i said fuck the lighteyed i didn't —" Kaladin definitely asexual in this one.
6. Hesina and lirin come to shattered planes, shocked/thrilled/emotional to find kaladin. Bridge 4 desperately trying to get approval of [bugs bunny meme our] parents. Lirin reluctantly adopting renarin who wants to learn about healing now for some reason. Blackthorn surgeon mutual loathing/ jealousy son swap hilarity. Lirin is having a time. 
7. Kaladin wasn’t on guard duty the night of szeth arrival. Still warned by syl about assassin, but has to dead sprint while glowing to get across camp fast enough, soft reveal to anyone outside. Only barely figures out wall running on the way over to crash in window just in time. Szeth freaks out and runs away after very short, mildly anticlimactic interaction. And now Kaladin has to deal with Everyone.
8. Kaladin further along in powers during initial szeth fight. Battle of champions degrading to slap fight when they run out of stormlight and get stuck on the plains. Concept/ Ask, Funny Severed Leg
9. Manufactured rumors about adolin/kaladin. Everyone thinks they're fucking. Effective political mudslinging for most of WOR. Shallan plays up things about her relationship with Jasnah to be a more appealing beard.
10. Kaladin has a meltdown in prison, breaks out of his cell. Just a little bit more stormlight...Shouts of alarm. Aaah glowing Assassin in white! Kaladin panics more. Adolin handles the situation like a champ. Kaladin maybe briefly kidnaps him.
11. Nale goes after kaladin instead of lift. Ohhh so many thoughts for parallels.
12. Syl immediately dive bombs pattern when kaladin and shallan meet. Really early radiant reveal but just to each other. Kaladin does not trust her but doesn't want to reveal his own status so just watches her super intensely...since she's also constantly watching him too, yes, this gets misinterpreted, but she actually picks up on and avoids that interpretation. See au 3 through 5 but more discreet. Veil is the one dragging him from the barracks for late night 'training sessions' [these are actually training sessions but veil flirts outrageously with kaladin when anyone's in earshot] so people are more focused on Veil/Kaladin.
13. Adolin, suspicious after the Assassin in White fight, was secretly following kaladin at night. Sees him step off a ledge into a chasm (I just reread the section and was like?! You glanced over your shoulder once?!). Adolin spends the whole night stewing in regret, anger, grief, guilt (I was there. I could have yelled. Should have done something. I didn't realize...I didn't know. I didn't know anything). Next morning Kaladin is on guard duty and adolin flips his shit, suddenly remembering that the whole reason he was suspicious of this guy was because he inexplicably survived a several hundred foot drop.
14. Kaladin barely manages to hold it together just long enough to out himself as radiant right after prison. Part One, Part two
15. Kaladin does NOT hold it together after getting arrested.
16. Kaladin swears third oath early. Next few weeks involve a lot of hiding glowing bridgeman squire antics and gaslighting people about kaladin's intermittently light eyes.
17. In the initial confrontation with Szeth, Kaladin pushes a bit harder about the radiants being back, Szeth spirals a bit more, crashing realization that he isn't truthless...
17a.  Earlier radiant reveal: szeth surrenders the honor blade and then immediately collapses into the ground. Kaladin drags him and the blade upstairs. Has to reveal himself now because 1) kaladin what the fuck how and 2) the assassin is mumbling about radiants. 17b. Szeth commits suicide by cop Radiant. Kaladin takes honorblade, collapses. When he wakes up hes injured, surrounded by lighteyes and a handful of his men. Intense panic attack about dooming them all by winning a shardblade, maybe a full ptsd flashback because Very Specific Shardblade Winning Trauma. Crazy two nickles moment. Downside: cries a lot in front of people he'd rather not have cried in front of. Upside: Dalinar believes him about Amaram now. Part One , Part Two , Healing Ask Public windrunner powers, but obscured Radiant reveal because glowing assassin sword is very clearly granting magic powers. Weird interactions of honorblade bond and nahel bond. Lot of interesting fallout from Dalinar having his very own Mystical Assassin now.
18. Kaladin sends Syl to spy on the 'horneater princess', one sided radiant discovery. When she sends pattern to spy on bridgeboy, he somehow notices. Shallan does not handle it well. 
19. Something something people put together all the impossible stuff Kaladin's done with all the impossible stuff the Blackthorn did as a youth, combined with one of bridge four drunkenly talking about their best theories for the Captains 'mysterious backstory,' combined with Dalinar literally calling Kaladin son and seemingly overnight the warcamps are convinced that Kaladin is Dalinar's bastard child.
20. (COLLABORATIVE with @gnecrognomicon) Instead of being thrown in prison, Elhokar orders Kaladin be strung up for the Stormfather's judgement. Part One, Part Two
21 to 30 Non Words of Radiance AUs
22. Way of kings au where the beggars of alethkar are rounded up for the war effort. Jezrian, of course, ends up on bridge four.
23. Kaladin time travel au to way of kings only the transition is a bit like a spren going from the cognitive to material realm, so he's not all there. Heartwarming bridge four bonding slightly to the left - sure the mans crazy but he looks so disappointed when we don't help with the injured, and he shares his food like an idiot. How does someone seven foot tall and stronger than a chull make axehound pup eyes. We're not following him though. He's not our lead - holy heralds balls is he glowing??  Bit more of a symbol than a friend, but a symbol that you take turns holding at night because he has really bad nightmares and also hes clingy.  Eventual 'oh shit he's a messed up herald' conclusion.
24. COLLABORATIVE / stone soup with @sweetteaanddragons : adolin and kaladin time travel to way of kings. Kaldin brooding about how to escape AND save all his men AND the world until adolin barges in and buys everyone. 
'Thank the almighty,' Kaladin thought with almost painful relief, watching Adolin argue haughtily with a growing swarm of Thadeus's lighteyes. 'I never thought I'd actually appreciate having a rich friend.' He would, of course, rather die than admit this. "I had it handled," he growled, when the two finally managed to speak inconspicuously, each weaving amongst a thousand confused former bridgeman, speaking quietly with several, until they were able to meet in the middle with reasonable subtlety, all things considered. "That's great, Kal," Adolin said cheerfully, clearly not buying a word. "Say, how would you feel about doing some, you know..." He waved a hand, earning a raised eyebrow from Kaladin. "Glowy stuff for my Father," his voice dropped from a subtle hush to a slightly conspicuous whisper. "So he doesn't disinherit me. I did not have permission for this."  Both pairs of eyes flicked to the side, the Blackthorn's towering figure approaching like a Stormwall. "Uh. Sooner rather than later perhaps."
26. Oathbringer/row au. Adolin doesn’t kill sadeus. Mostly just excuse to dunk on Sadeus for trading one (1) shardblade for mythical warrior who can make his own shardblade. oh look more of your former slaves are glowing now. and THEY make shardblades too!
27A. Elhokar and Kaladin time travel from Elhokar's death in oathbringer to way of kings. Part one, Part Two
27B. Elhokar solo time travels back from Oathbringer death to Way of Kings
28. Moash tells kaladin about beef with elokhar early. This derails the entire plot of the series.
31 to 40 Post Winds and Truth Wild Speculation
31. Szeth kaladin crack pity fuck time travel au words of radiance. Bridge four roasts the shit out of kaladin. Kaladin is doing everything in his power to avoid implying "knowledge of future" which makes the timeline of their relationship deeply confusing. (Part One) (Part Two)
32. Szeth kaladin time travel au post book 5, they get their memories back in the high storm right before canon first meeting. It's a whole thing.
33. Kaladin time travel back to wor, book 5 gone wrong. Deeply terrifying from outsider pov. Captain of the Kholin guard, bridgefour leader, is suddenly Full fourth oath windrunner talking about how humans are the voidbringers, they actually need to support the parshendi in bringing one last controlled desolation, and then kill the heralds and also god. Don't worry not our god. Different god. Our god is already dead. If someone else travels back with him then it swings around to a lil bit funny. *
34. Post winds and truth, pre sunlit man, crossover with the twilight of mistborn era 2 (i think the cosmere timeline could make sense but if not, oh well). Kaladin gets a boon from his god(s). Requests to learn more about mental health. Has to go to another planet to do so, because mental health research on Roshar sucks. Scadrial's god seems (relatively) friendly and their planet has developed antidepressants AND wellness seminars. Shenanigans with Very Old Wax and the gang. *
35. Jasnah, Dalinar, and Renarin (surviving Kholin Radiants) travel from End of World to right after Gavilar's death. Crack. Outline *
All of the above (plus other fandoms if you keep scrolling back) will be tagged with 'my au' The above, plus my canon stormlight and other cosmere meta, technically canon compliant fanfic drabbles, or other things that i've written but don't fit in an au will be tagged 'nevertheless cosmere' * Written Before Wind And Truth Release
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svtiddiess · 28 days ago
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⋆˙⟡ svtiddiess tumblr wrapped 2024 ⟡˙⋆
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Thank you so much to Raven @shadowkoo for tagging me! This seems like such a fun idea!
I'm forever grateful for all the love and support I've gotten this year! Through this platform, I've met so many wonderful people, many of whom I can truly call my close friends. Thank you so much for all the likes, comments, and reblogs, you leave on my fics, they really mean a lot to me ♡ I hope to continue putting out fics and sharing my love for writing, SVT, and tiddies. See you all in 2025! ♡
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2024 FIC STATUS
Number of fics posted: 56 (I'm shook myself)
Number of fics in progress: 17 (for now...)
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TOP 3 MOST POPULAR FICS OF 2024
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Thot Hour (1.7k notes) Mingyu x reader
Favourite Comments:
↳ there's nothing i love more than a man groveling for forgiveness LOL the intro alone had me hooked. i do love when he cracks tho, not able to take it anymore. we love men that are down bad for their girls 🥹🖤 @shadowkoo
↳ #im jealous i wanna dream about some yoga mat fun too @luvseungcheol
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Nom Nom (1.5k notes) Seungcheol x reader
Favourite Comments:
↳ #what the fuck!!!!#screaming without the s#the way i already think bout this man’s tiddies 24/7 and now THIS????#about to reach levels of delusion never before seen in humankind I mean that with full seriousness and as a warning @nightshadeblooming
↳ #used as a wallpaper???#this is vile#EUNHA YOU'RE FUCKING VILE#svtiddiess has never been more accurate before @multi-kpop-fanfics
↳ #SCREECHING HERE#need to mark him up good and proper#like fr fr#that man NEEDS to be bitten#I dont make the rules#I just enforce them @whipped-for-kpop-fics
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Sex Education (1.3k notes) Mingyu x reader
Favourite Comments:
↳ Oh sexy nerd 😩👄💗 @thepoopdokyeomtouched
↳#SUBBIE GYU IS MY WEAKNESS#oh my lord#oh my fuck @feat-sun
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MOST RECENT FIC OF 2024
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Moonlight (posted 28/12/2024) Jeonghan x reader
Favourite Comments:
↳ The way you wrote this I felt like I was actually there @do-you-remember-summer-127
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MOST LONGEST FIC OF 2024
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Green Eyes And Confessions (3.9k words) Mingyu x reader x Wonwoo
Favourite Comments:
↳ #I HAVE READ THIS APPROXIMATELY THREE TIMES NOW. OR A LITTLE MORE#the buildup??? delicious. conniving mingyu??? scrumptious.#WONWOO'S SWITCH UP??? ABSOLUTELY DELIRIUM-INDUCING @kwondotcom
↳ Rereading this while in heat was not a good idea 😖 but a GREAT idea 🥵😝💦💦 @brownbunnyb
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PERSONAL FAVOURITE FIC OF 2024
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Quiet Baby Seungcheol x reader
My first ever smut fic! The one that started it all. It might not be my best work, as I've improved a lot since then but it'll always hold a special place in my heart ♡
Favourite Comments:
↳ #unintelligible thoughts#as for enjoying it?#yes#thoroughly#in fact#im logging off till i recover#you have @svtiddiess to thank#yes i know i participated#but this?#😭😭😭😭😭#shambles @brownsugarbaybee
↳ Me when i realized there's only one choi seungcheol and i can never have him this way #SCREAMMMMINGGGGG WITHOUT THE S#you did so well bby 🩷#the jumpscare in the middle of the cafe was worth it @tomodachiii
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FAVOURITE READS OF 2024
⭑.ᐟ Troublemaker by @whipped-for-kpop-fics ⭑.ᐟ Hush by @sailorrhansol ⭑.ᐟ The Intruder's Eyes by @miabebe ⭑.ᐟ Creature's Of Desire by @ddeonghwa-s ⭑.ᐟ Tease by @gyuzgrl ⭑.ᐟ Anything And Always by @miabebe ⭑.ᐟ Calendar Killer by @miabebe ⭑.ᐟ Sixth Sense by @gyuzgrl ⭑.ᐟ Crossroads by @smileysuh ⭑.ᐟ $60 billion by @onlyseokmins
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MY TOP TRACKS OF 2024
➣ LALALI - Seventeen ➣ Rain - Seventeen ➣ Whiplash - Aespa ➣ Supernova - Aespa ➣ Igloo - Kiss of Life ➣ 1-800-hot-n-fun - Le sserafim ➣ Kazino - BIBI
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GOALS FOR 2025
✮ Finish and publish all wips and write more! ✮ Adopt a more active lifestyle. ✮ Get back into reading books.
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No pressure tags: @tomodachiii @welcometomyoasis @soo0hee @chanranghaeys @c-oupsie @pochaccoups @diamonddaze01 @ylangelegy @brownsugarbaybee @miabebe
+ anyone who wants to do it!
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writing-for-life · 4 months ago
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The Self-Love, Sex and Pursuit of the Helm Novels
Part 2: Bully for You—An Unhinged Interlude
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Okay, I’ve spent the whole @sandman-rarepair-fest with tragic relationships, poetry and being serious.
And while this relationship is also… tragic, it’s neither poetic nor to be taken seriously, although a small group of us are fully committed to the cause: Behold, the crack ship! Morpheus x The Helm! For the Monsterfucker prompt.
(It’s highly advisable to read part one first, but they can sort of exist independently. Just not as well 🤣)
Bully For You: An Unhinged Interlude (2321 words) by Writing-for-Life Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Sandman (TV 2022), The Sandman (Comics) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus, Dream of the Endless, Desire of the Endless, The Helm (The Sandman) Additional Tags: I Blame Tumblr, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Or Is It?, Muhulhu, Drat! A HelmLord Story, Murphy and his Cool Hat, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Swearing, Masturbation, Anal Something, Because I have no clue what they are doing honestly, helm fucking, Monsterfucking of sorts, It's a Dream of a Thousand Cats Situation, At least a thousand fanfic writers were thinking of the same thing, but he actually enjoyed it, although he would never admit to it, Dream and the Helm finally get it on, About Time, tags what tags they make no sense, don't get your hopes up, this is not really smut, it has all the marks of being explicit, but somehow it's really not Series: Part 2 of The Self-Love, Sex and Pursuit of the Helm Novels: A Tragicomedy in Three Movements Summary:
Where we witness how the Lord of Dreams loses his bearings (no, not those ones), and even Desire needs a stiff drink…
If you always wanted to know what's so special about Dream's relationship with his Helm (capital H on occasion), this might provide some answers. Or raise more questions than you ever dared to ask...
Excerpt:
Desire had felt… things for a short while but shrugged the sensations off. Until they became impossible to ignore. Because he wanted something without their doing (although what comes first, or who, was sometimes hard to tell, but not to get lost in details at this point, dear reader). In lieu of ridiculous desires like “something beyond my function, blah blah”, it would usually be shaped like a woman. Since Desire had given him Killalla (and maybe, just maybe, taken her away again, which still made them chuckle), he had developed a bit of a kink for female-shaped mortals. Well, they hadn’t all been mortal, but the “female-shaped” still stood. And because of the mere fact that their brother was so painfully strait-laced (we suggest the spelling “straight-laced” here, dear reader), it came as a bit of a surprise to feel those decidedly different vibes. Dream wanted something. But it wasn’t a woman, or anything remotely female-shaped. It was…
What the heck was it?
Desire concentrated really hard.
It seemed to be something forged in the fever dream of a blacksmith who took his inspiration from a lobster and a nightmare. Something otherworldly, something with a spine like the tail of a crustacean. Truly, if a lobster decided to pursue a career in gothic architecture and at the same time became some sort of… headgear, it would probably look like this.
Desire first rolled their eyes but then felt their breath catching. “It’s his fucking helm,” they muttered. “Please give me a break. He wants to fuck his helm…”
Brother Dream, master of the subconscious, running his hand tenderly, with a slight shake, over the spine of that ludicrous thing. Desire laughed out loud, but the laugh was short-lived, because things began to unravel. Rapidly…
Read the rest here (otherwise I have to add a content label 🤣)
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