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craftypeaceturtle · 4 years ago

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Bewitching

Summary: Roman and his trusted friend, Logan, embark on a journey to visit their local witch.

Note: I was inspired by a post that described this like exact concept. This is just a small fic that struck me! I have no idea why I am only capable of writing rare pair fics but hey ho! At least I’m writing. Analogical and Royality.

“Do you even understand where we’re supposed to be going?” Logan muttered as he tried to massage away his upcoming headache. Unfortunately his headache bounded into his side with a wide smirk.

“Of course! It’s only a simple path through Sanders Woods,” Roman announced as he continued marching through the castle with proud wide steps.

“Do I even need to deconstruct how vague those directions truly are?”

“Pfft! I’m not an idiot Logan. I do have a map. You just follow through the main path through Sanders Woods but then at some specific stump or something stupid, you turn and then boom! Witches!” Roman wiggled the paper in his face but even that movement didn’t hide that it was just some rushed notes on a napkin from his father. It looked like just simple lines and labels. There wasn’t even an compass pointing north!

“Ah I stand corrected then, your majesty. Truly you must be a true scholar in the geologies,” Logan sighed and Roman checked his shoulder.

They were being sent on the incredibly (vague, according to Logan) journey to go track down the kingdom’s local witch to re-establish their trade. A journey that sounded very important and essential so when Logan first heard it, of course he immediately offered his service. The warning sign should have been that Roman was conducting the journey. Another warning sign (as there were many), was the fact that to re-establish their trade, they were trading a kitten and were expecting to get cookies in return. It all painted the very obvious picture that the king wanted his son to do his chores and so asked his friend to ensure the task got done. But then again, Logan prided himself as a man of honour and he wouldn’t refuse to conduct on this journey. He was nobler than this pettiness. He was more serious than any one of the royal family members. He would take great pride in this stupid task.

“Logan!” Roman shouted, Logan whipped round to face him, “Do you mind leaving the kitten alone for at least one second and help me pick out an outfit?”

“Pick an outfit?” Logan squealed indignantly, ignoring his own burning blush as he followed Roman into his room, leaving the poor mewing kitten to sprawl around its basket, “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?”

He was wearing his typical outfit which was his full princely attire. A pristine white tunic with gold embellishments that all highlighted the strong red of the emblem on his sleeves. He would usually wear a bright red sash across his chest but instead he was flinging it about like a child first trying to learn ballet. But now he blushed bright enough to match the emblem. “We’re meeting new people. Of course a prince should always present their best foot forward.”

“Oh all princes?”

“Okay, don’t pretend that’s fair! We all know that Remus is an octopus dressed as a prince. He shouldn’t be considered along with all other princes!”

“An octopus?” Logan chuckled.

“Dad got at me for constantly calling him a rat so I’m calling him an octopus. Just as ugly but this time dad thinks it’s just some weird nickname,” Roman said way too proudly for someone who was in his twenties and definitely above sibling squabbles. Then again this was indeed Roman.

“Ah, you are just so charming and intelligent, your majesty,” Logan smirked before he also bumped their shoulders, “But don’t think that will distract me. Please promise me that you will not flirt with the witch.”

“It’s not flirting! It’s called being friendly, not that you would know that Intronerd!”

“It’s definitely flirting. And it definitely taints any and all official communication. Do I even need to retell the event with Janus?”

“Right! I’m all ready to go, are you?” Roman bellowed, rushing past him with a satchel of bare essentials. Logan simply sighed and carefully cradled the basket with the kitten.

It was just after midday and they were finally on their way, the guards around the castle grounds waved with barely hidden laughs. Roman frowned at them and clutched Logan to his side. He was well aware of his reputation around the castle. Foolish and way too optimistic. It stung each time but then Roman knew himself better than any guard could. Plus he could always sick Remus on them! But he also knew Logan was quickly getting mixed in with that reputation. A truly genuine travesty to this world. Logan was a bold, determined and so quietly compassionate but he was only regarded as dumb and easily flustered. And Roman could get it! Like yeah, seeing this emotionless guy walk out of the grounds cradling a kitten was funny, but he knew Logan well enough to laugh at how lovey he was really. They just laughed at the ditzy dumb consort who pretended to be cold and collected. Yet Logan always remained oblivious and Roman would risk his life to ensure it would remain that way.

He wished he could say it was a beautiful summer’s morn with the birds chirping their victory as they headed into the deep mysterious forest. But instead the sky was a striking grey with a wind that was just the wrong side of cold. Reports stated it would rain in the afternoon and he was unfortunately momentarily defeated by the allure of sleeping in so he couldn’t leave early enough. Meh, he was pretty sure Logan appreciated the extra hours to sit around doing nothing! He waved the famous royal wave to a bunch of children who scattered at their approach with amazed giggles while Logan did his usual Logan thing of keeping his eyes forward and walking away before they could talk. Perhaps it was for the best, they had to focus.

Well... ‘focus’. The journey was important and all but also this tiny little ginger kitten snuggling into Logan’s muscly bulky arms was very distracting.

The path into the woods was very simple. It was a worn away path in the grass that become wider and wider each time he saw it. It was pretty much a very wonky lane straight through the forest and the map clearly presented an equally wonky line to a blackened tree stump that “they could not miss”. Then turn left and, as he eloquently put it, boom! Witch. In all honesty, the journey was the very last thing on his mind currently. Sanders Woods was big but it was so close to the kingdom that there was never anything too dangerous in there- people travelled through it every day. But, Roman prided himself on his studies into the kingdom’s history and all the fables and stories that it inspired. It didn’t take a genius to know that witches meant trouble. Witches cursed and violently lashed out at any hero that came their way.

He stared up at Logan out of the corner of his eye. Logan looked the part certainly with his official royal uniform and he was fairly built. But Roman also knew Logan. While he could look intimidating, he was anything but. At the first sign of conflict he would freeze, and even if he didn’t, he was in no way trained for battle. He looked built but his muscle purely came from grabbing heavy books from high shelves. He wouldn’t last a second against a witch in a physical battle.

“How have your studies been going?” Roman innocently asked innocently.

“As expected, why?”

“What do you mean why! I can be interested in your studies! What are you learning about now? It was magic right?” Roman kept his focus on his light marching steps. Logan huffed a chuckle.

“Magic is such a broad term I don’t even know how to go about correcting you. Yes, I have largely been studying magic. It is...” Logan scrunched his face up, “going, to put realistically. I’m struggling to fully grip the module I am currently on. But overall, my study of magic is going better than I first thought. How are your studies? Are you studying anything right now?” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Not really. I finished the whole economics junk and I have a bit of a break before I launch back into studies. Trying to make the most of it,” Roman answered honestly but he kept his gaze straight ahead, “Anyway, what kind of magic are you doing? Like any... cool spells?”

“Cool... spells...” Logan said, stopping completely in his path, “Why are you so interested?”

“As I said! I can be interested in what my friend is doing!”

“You haven’t ever before taken interest in my, how did you put it, ‘nerdy junk’!”

“Well!” Roman snarked back but he could feel Logan looking right through him, “It’s just important to know what kind of magic you can do. Just in case we ever n-”

“You think this is dangerous don’t you!” Logan gasped, feeling panic slam into his chest.

“What?” Roman nervously laughed off, “No...”

“You do!” Logan dramatically pointed at him, “Oh we don’t have nearly the right supplies for any kind of conflict! We’re carrying around a cat!”

“It won’t be dangerous!” Roman tried to soothe while panickily pacing.

“I asked you! I asked you! I asked and you said that it was a simple trade. That we are practically just acting as postmen!” Logan threw his head back.

“I’m sorry!” Roman gasped.

“You’ve got your sword. Plus, I really don’t think your dad would send us on some dangerous journey without at least some back up. I think you just got into your head with worry. There’s lots of rumours about witches despite those spreading them having never met a witch, we should be fine,” Logan answered softly. There was no use having them both panicking when they were already significantly through the woods. But then again maybe they could turn back now before they truly prove themselves to be idiots.

“Yeah!” Roman lit up and snapped up straight with an obnoxious smile, “C’mon, we’ll be fine!”

Logan simply ran through his warning signs he listed earlier about how this task was a stupid chore. His hand found the kitten’s fuzzy little forehead and he gave some scritches before following in Roman’s footsteps.

It was another hour where each minute felt more and more uncomfortable. They were a decent way through the woods but they had yet to see anything resembling a tree stump. Even Roman was now flicking his gaze behind him, checking to see if they had perhaps passed it without realising. Logan was practically chanting about how King Thomas wouldn’t send his idiot of a son on a difficult journey without a proper map. But then again both of his sons were idiots so maybe he just chose Roman as the lesser of two evils? Maybe the wobbly scrawled line on the map was just longer than expected. This was why people added scales and a compass! Eventually they paused at a blackened tree. They didn’t even talk or notice the other had paused as well.

“Maybe by stump they more meant a stumpy tree?” Roman cautiously looked around.

“Did your father not describe it any more than that?” Logan asked, still not convinced.

“I mean he even drew it in black!” Roman yelled out in what was supposed to be confidence. Logan winced as Roman marched slowly forward into the treeline.

“That cannot be where the line is. That map should never be considered as accurate or, or- just slow down Roman. We have no idea if this is the right direction!”

“Yeah well, we literally just go left into the trees. If it turns out to be wrong then we know which direction we went and just go back.”

Logan sighed at the legitimate logic the illogical prince presented, “It’s going to rain soon.”

“Well hurry up then!” Roman had already started running into the woods and Logan grumbled out some swears before reluctantly trudging after him.

Now underneath the thick canopy of the woods, it was quite dark and moody. Roman tried to lighten the mood by pointing out every single squirrel that skittered away when they passed but even that didn’t fix the tension. The ideas of danger were swirling uncomfortably through them. The kitten was now restless and was mewing very pathetically. Logan winced at each quiet mew and Roman knew that it was a matter of seconds before Logan demand they go back and get the kitten to safety. And he was about to agree until he saw a tiny mushroom on a tree.

It softly glowed, and if that wasn’t a strong enough indicator of magic and witches, it was illuminous purple. It almost seemed transparent as black smoke billowed underneath it’s surface but it still somehow glowed brightly.

“Logan, I think we’re almost there,” Roman muttered and tugged him forward.

“Roman.” Logan stopped them dead in the path. He was shifting and looking away but his back was straight and his posture screamed listen. Roman, of course, stopped in his tracks. “What if they use the cat... like... what if they kill the cat?”

Roman paused. That... would be very in character for witches. The kitten was frumpily stomping around and of course released an adorable mew as if it very well knew they were talking about it. “We’ve got to establish trade routes... Maybe we could be the ones to persuade them to see the light and understand cuteness and love for all living things!”

“Hmm.” Logan took the lead and stepped forward.

They had walked for another ten minutes but yet the woods felt unrecognisable. The woods went from very stereotypical brown and green woods that seemed to stretch onwards forever. Now the mushrooms were everywhere and they couldn’t see the trunks of the trees anymore. The forest was filled with an overwhelming nauseating swirls of colours. Now they were seeing flashes of deer and groans from toads under their feet. The sun was completely blocked from the trees and it was almost like walking inside a building.

It wasn’t long until they stumbled finally into a cottage looking house. A thatched roof and everything. It almost blended in, blackened charred wood with no windows or even sign of anyone living there. Dead leaves were still swamped up again its sides like it was still autumn. Logan cradled the kitten tighter and Roman couldn’t exactly blame him.

It seemed straight out of a storybook.

When the main characters stumble into the villain’s lair.

Roman gulped and latched on arm on to Logan’s shoulder, which Logan happily sank into. They approached the door in timid steps. The wind harshly ripped through the forest, whipping around the wet clumps of leaves around the sunken door. The rain finally arrived and a few drops pattered on the ceiling of leaves. Logan stuttered in his steps but Roman winced and guided him forward.

As they were a few metres from the door, it slammed open.

“AAAH!” They both shrieked.

A witch stood there... kinda proudly. He had a wide stance and the hood hid his face. But also his arms were crossed and he was hunched over to look extra small. He probably reached Roman’s shoulder standing straight... he looked like the wind around his house would knock him over. But also the billowing black cloak and clenched fists also spoke for themselves. “What are you doing here!” A whiny voice broke through their panic.

Logan was clearly frozen and his mind only screaming about the kitten in his arms. It took a few moments for Roman to realise he wasn’t going to snap out and talk. He stuttered out, “Oh ah... hello there. We are fr- We come from the kingdom of Sanders to present a trading opportunity. I understand you have been in discussion with our king to re-establish our long ancient trading with you, Witch.”

The witch frowned, “Oh I’m not a witch. That’s Patton you’re looking for.”

He pointed over his shoulder to a cottage past his house. Now this looked like the idyllic cottage countryside house. Thatched roof, pristine pastel pink house and a beautiful neat line of wild bluebells. Roman found himself drawing near it without realising. It looked beautiful and the house straight out of his dreams. “Oh sorry sir! C’mon Logan, we’ll sort this out!” Roman tugged his arm but Logan remained statue still. “Uh, Logan?”

Logan was completely trapped under the gaze of the random civilian that stumbled into. His chest glowed along with his bright red face. The man had very strong features and was clearly much more awkward than anything dangerous. It took a minute before he realised that words were needed if he was just going to stare, “Oh H-hi, I’m Lo...” He winced but tried to battle through, “Y-you’re not a witch?”

“Nah, I’m... I guess you’d call it emo and just hate people,” The guy awkwardly chuckled as he stepped out from his doorway. Logan allowed himself to smile and only just remembered Roman’s advice to puff out his chest and show himself off. Right, time to sweep this handsome man off his feet.

“Ah I understand that sentiment. People can be so frustrating and exhausting.” The man walked forward before he awkwardly looked away.

“Uh can I?” The man asked with his hand out stretched towards his chest. Logan burst into a childish smile. Maybe Roman was right and he is handsome! All that heavy book lifting did pay off if cute emos then wanted to feel up his chest! Maybe he can sweep someone off their feet. Maybe he should work out more!

“Sure!” He squeaked.

The man smiled in thanks before grabbing the kitten from his arms and pressing loud sappy kissies to his fuzzy little forehead. His croaky foreboding voice snapped to a squealing happy coo.

Roman laughed at how ridiculous he was and went down to the next house. He’s never seen Logan so useless! He was never going to let me live this down- after all that teasing he’s been putting up with for flirting with Janus. Now he had some fuel to fight back.

He knocked on the door with a new found confidence as the rain finally started to slip through the leaves and actually start to slowly soak him. Humming to himself, he looked back at Logan still failing to flirt with the random scary guy. He’d never be that useless. The door opened, “Hello there. Are you the witch that lives in these wooooo-”

A young man opened the door with a cheery smile, ginger curls flying about his head with wire frame glasses. Freckles absolutely everywhere. He was a little taller than even him! He was of course wearing a pink frilly apron with a blue soft chunky knit jumper. Everything about him looked soft. “Oh hello there. What’s your name!”

“Uhhhhhhh... Ro?” Roman awkwardly drawled out while trying to pick his jaw off the floor. He looked back at Logan who was now walking over with the other man.

“Hey Pat. We need a talk.” He growled out while Patton awkwardly laughed. Instinctually, Roman stepped forward to protect this marshmallow from this emo.

“Y-yeah Virge?”

“Did you really organise for the king to sneak you a kitten?”

“Maaaybe!” Patton squeaked before launching forward and spinning him in tight excited circles. Logan was now carrying the kitten, he looked very confused and flustered as he kept his gaze firmly on the kitten.

“Don’t distract me! You’re allergic!”

“Well are you going to make these nice young men walk all the way back with the heavy basket and wiggly little itty bitty kitty!”

The man, Virgil, frowned with a look. “Okay. I will take the kitten and you can have visiting rights. But! Those visiting rights can be revoked at any time!”

“Yippee!” Patton laughed with all of himself. His arms flailing into a hug for himself, his belly bursting and moving with the genuine happy laughter. Roman was thoroughly star struck.

“Can’t believe you’re the witch of us...” Virgil groaned with his own fond smile, to which Logan was also star struck.

They both paused as a fat raindrop slapped against Patton’s forehead. The rain must have been truly heavy if it was still dripping through the thick canopy. They turned and faced the two men and only now noticed that they were fairly wet with their hair plastered against their foreheads. They did look pretty pathetic.

Patton smiled, “Hey, Ro was it? Would you like to come in? Just to wait for the rain. Sorry, uhh,”

“Logan,” Logan introduced.

“Logan, the house is fairly small but I’m sure Virgil would love to show you around his little place!” Patton smirked innocently.

All three of them gulped with bright blushes... but of course they all nodded along to that plan.

#sanders sides #My writing #logan sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #analogical #royality #fluff #the boys being useless gays #fanfic

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duvetsandpillows · 4 years ago

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Lewis Hamilton Fluffy A-Z

A = Attractive: what do they find attractive about the other?

Your voice. Your accent is the most beautiful thing in the world. He loves listening to you talk and will stay on the phone to you all night just to hear you talk and occasionally singing to yourself.

B = Baby: do they want a family? why/why not?

You had a little baby girl when you and Lewis had started dating. The father had abandonded you and you were worried that Lewis would get scared off but Lewis fell in love with her immediately and vowed to be the best father figure he could to her. You two had discussed having a baby together and found out just before your one year anniversary that you were pregnant.

C = Cuddle: how do they cuddle?

Lewis loves cuddling with you. He's such a busy man that when he has the time to cuddle he will make the most of it. He had the habit of while talking to people he would stand behind you and wrap his arms around your shoudlers, pressing the occasional kiss to the side of your head if you didn't have much to say in the conversation.

D = Dates: what are dates with them like?

Lewis likes to make dates meaninful. They aren't usually extravagant but they are always perfect to you. He loves taking you along to race weekends as much as possible and would always take you out somewhere in every country you visit. Whether it's going out to dinner or a walk across the beach with Roscoe, the two of you enjoyed spending the time you got together.

E = Everything: “you are my ____” (e.g my life, my world…)

You are my flame.

F = Feelings: when did they know they were falling in love?

After your fifth date Lewis drove you home and walked you to your door. You invited him in for a coffee and he happily accepted. The two of you were chatting on the sofa, he looked at you as you spoke about your childhood, a smile growing larger as you spoke. "What is it?" you asked placing your mug on the sidetable. "It's nothing... I just-" He took his hand in yours, placing his other hand atop of yours. "The last few weeks have been amazing and I don't think I ever want to loose you. I wanted to as you if... well if-" You put your other hand ontop of his and smiled. "Is the Lewis Hamilton nervous?" His cheeks began to turn a light shade of pink. "I would love the honour of being your girlfriend."

G = Gentle: are they gentle? If so, how?

Lewis is always gentle with you nut not too gentle. He knows you aren't made of glass and don't like being treated like a china doll. You two liked to play fight together and you've been trying to teach him some Jiu-Jitsu as you'd learnt it growing up but it usually ended up with him giving yp and insiting on you giving a million cuddles.

H = Hand/Hold: how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

Lewis liked holding your hand in public because he wants everyone to know you are his. He would always give your hand a squeeze and rub his thumb across your hand when there are large crowss of fans around. He knows you struggled a little but with all the attention and were slowly getting used to it and wanting to help you through it.

I = Impression: first impression/s

He first met you in the park. You were walking your dog and Lewis spotted you standing under a tree as your dog ran acround the playing with a tennis ball you had brought. Roscoe bolted over to your dog, causing Lewis to smile, giving him an excuse to talk to you.

"It's like they've always known of each other." he said flashing a small smile. The two of you chatted for a while and Lewis thought you were the most interesting person he had met. When you said you had to go he made sure to get your number and a couple of days later asked you out on a date.

J = Joker: are they into pulling pranks?

You two aren't much for pranks but were always making each other laugh with jokes or messing about and being silly.

K = Kisses: how do they kiss?

Lewis always gives you the most passionate kisses. If you're in public he dials it back a little but always makes sure his kisses show you how much he loves you. When you're sad he always presses gentle kisses all over you face, it always helped calm you down and it may not fix what was happening you would know that you aren't on your own.

L = Love: who says I love you first?

Both of you. Lewis had brought you along to the Mercedes christmas party and it ended up with the two of you getting pretty drunk. When the taxi dropped you home Lewis carried you up to his apartment saying 'a princess shouldn't have to walk'. Once you took your makeup off and changed into a pair of his boxers and t-shirt you walked into the bedroom to see him sitting on the end of the bed staring at you. He reached out and pulled you towards him so you were sat in his lap. You ran your fingers through his hair as he pressed kisses up your neck until he reached your lips.

"I love you," the two of you said in sync as you pulled away before you both were in a fit of giggles.

M = Memory: their favourite moment together

You'd decided on having a home birth. After the midwife had cleaned your daughter up and passed her back to you Lewis went out the room and came back in with your older daughter. He sat the two of them on the side of the bed and placed her on his leg facing the baby.

"This is your little sister." The two of you watched as she reached out and gently held her hand, staring at her in complete adoration. You passed her over and Lewis helped your daughter hold her, making sure her nack was being supported properly. Tears began to fill your eyes as your daughter whispered 'I love you'. You two couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment.

N = Nickel: do they spoil? do they buy the person they love everything?

Lewis couldn't help but spoiling on you. It wasn't always extravagant gifts but if he would see something that reminded him of you he couldn't help but get it for you. He also couldn't help but spoil your daughters, they had the biggest wardrobes and even did a kids line for his collaboration with Tommy Hilfiger.

O = Orange: what colour reminds them of their other half?

The whole rainbow. You loved colour, your house and wardrobe was vibrant and Lewis loved it. He could look at any colour and it could remind him of you. Seeing bright green trees, a beautiful red dress or a painting of a lake would always bring his toughts back to you and you showed him how to appreciate every colour no matter how 'boring' other people find them.

P = Pet names: what pet names do they use?

Beautiful, sweetheart, my hero

Q = Quaint: what is their favourite non-modern thing?

You loved helping him design clothes. He would always come to you with first drafts and asks for your opinion. You two would sit at the table for hours until half the room is covered in sketches and bits of fabric you had picked up to try and make a prototype.

R = Rainy Day: what do they like to do on a rainy day?

You two like to go out for walks. Letting the dogs run around and play together while your daughters play in puddles. When you get home one of you will wash the dogs off while the other gives your daughters a bath. Then you'll all cuddle up on the sofa watching a movie together, eating a takeaway.

S = Sad: how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Lewis usually comes to you fairly quickly when he's upset. You have a very level head and would always be able to find the best way to help his situation. If he's feeling down and not too sure why your daughters will give him lots of cuddles and get him to play a game with him. They were his best distraction and would remind him that no matter how tough it is right now his family is there for him and how lucky he is to have all of you.

T = Talking: what do they love to talk about?

You two talk about everything. Human rights and what's happening in the world at the moment and how you can help, race weekends, tv shows your obessed with, world politics. You two loved to have intense discussions about world issues and Lewis loved how passionate you are about them and how badly you want to help. Even when you made some questionable words to another driver whose comments royally pissed you off.

U = Unencumbered: What helps them relax?

Spending time with your daughters. After a race weekend he loved to come home and get engulfed in cuddles. he will always make sure to spend the whole evening with the three of you with no distractions. Having a teddy bear tea party, playing dress up and then winding down with a movie which usually ended up with you all falling asleep on the sofa together.

V = Vaunt: what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

Lewis isn't one to show off anymore. He likes to keep most of his life private, expecially his daughters. He would post the occasional picture and would bring them along to race weekends but doesn't want them in the spotlight. He mostly just shows off his projects that he's been working on. he would show you off sometimes, although always making sure he has your permission first, he wants everyone to know how lucky he is to have you and how stunning and intelligent you are.

W = Wedding: when, how, where do they propose?

Lewis took all four of you away for your birthday to a small private island so you could have some privacy and enjoy your holiday. One evening you were all sat int he beach, building sandcastles. You were lying on a towel as Lewis and the girls were trying to build a sandcastle resembling the disney land castle (although it was quite wonky). Lewis called you over to come take a proper look, your eldest daughter pulling your arms to speed you up.

"Mummy look in the door we found a surprise!" You knelt down and and reached your arm in, pulling out a small box. You opened it up to reveal a small diamond ring.

"Lewis what-?" You turned around to see him on one knee, daughters either side of him, your eldest flashing the biggest smile in the world, looking as if she was about to burst.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N) everyday you fill my life with pure joy. Every since we met you've always made sure I have a smile of my face and have always been there for me no matter what. Will you do me the honour of marrying me?" You burst into tears and nodded your head before flinging yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him tight. The two of you shared a passionate kiss and he slid the ring on your finger while your daughters were cheering in the background.

X = Xylophone: What’s their song?

Run the World - Beyoncé

Y = You’re the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

You’re the light to my life.

Z = Zebra: if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

Lewis obviously has Roscoe and you have your dog too. You wanted to get a cat but it was a work in progress as Lewis said it was a mad house already but he decided to surprise you for christmas with one after the girls hadn't stopped asking him for once since September.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton one shot #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 one shot #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula one fanfic #formula 1 one shot #formula one imagine #fluffy a-z #fluffy a z

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mxtcha-tea · 4 years ago

Text

Lines.

✎desc; how I would rate haikyuu character's drawing.

✎team[s]; fukurodani, inarizaki

✎genre; crack

✎language[s]; english

✎chef note; okay, first off, I'm not a professional drawer but I can still rate drawings. This idea just came to me like a minute ago and I had to do it now, so enjoy :)

fukurodani.

Bokuto

Aight, I see that we started off greatly.

In all honesty, he have no idea how to draw,

And of course his drawing would look,,,, quite terrible i'm so sorry bokuto lovers

He's that kid in art class where's when the teacher already told them what to draw,

Bokuto sat there on his chair, staring at the canvas

Like, what is he suppose to do? Draw?

Well, yeah technically but what???

I can totally see him frustratingly erase the sketch if it can be called as a sketch

And then proceed to try to copy other people's work

Keyword; try

It's bad but at least he had an effort to finish it

4/10, there I said it

Akaashi

His drawings are not that professional but it's pretty

Have you ever seen a drawing that you wanted to stare at it for hours until you're satisfied?

That what's his drawing are like

Not typically an art kid so he's fine when student's from his art class asked him to draw for them

And is feeling pretty neutral with his talent (he actually won't call it a talent but more like a hobby or sum)

And just say 'thanks' if peoples compliments his drawing

Let say his drawing is, a good 8/10

A decent drawer in conclusion :)

Konoha

Not a bad drawer but he rather keep it basic

Konoha's prolly too lazy to draw something over the top so he's just gonna draw flower or something ksndnzkj

Sometimes sleep during art class and had to ask what they had to draw

Proceeds to decently draws a scenery

He's totally not the creative kid so whenever the teach tell them to draw something, he'll always go with basket of fruits, like,

Man, I appreciated the drawing but at least put some effort on thinking what to draw

The art teacher also kept telling him that he have raw talent and should enhance the skill more,

But that never happened, no

"Sorry ma'am, I'll just stick to volleyball, thank you,"

One part of the art room has a section of konoha's basket of fruits drawings but in different mediums

Rating is 7/10

Washio

IS actually an art kid and you cannot convince me otherwise

Has a small sketchbook with him and he'll always doodle when he's bored or in a middle of a lecture (while taking notes of course)

His main skill in drawing tho is painting

The colors blends in so well with one another and he's good at picking color palettes

Also, he doesn't really get that annoyed if some kids from his class ask him to teach them how to draw

Or even look through his sketchbook

He'll just nod and hand it to them without a second thought

Ajsjdhsijsi Washio get so blushy when someone compliments his drawing,,,,

I’ll give a 10/10 :), congrats

Sarukui

The best that he can do is doodles of owls and other shits but other than that, he cannot do

But the doodles are kinda cute doe ngl

He’ll have his moment where he’s in class and have no idea what to do, and just doodles a bunch of stuff

Once he draw his whole teammate including his coach and himself, he thought to himself,

“Huh, this looks good,”

And then take a picture of it for memories (cause he might throw the book he’s doodling in away)

Speaking of that, he doesn’t have an official book for drawing and just draws in his english or math’s textbook or sum

His juniors eyes are blessed when they got his textbook

Sarukui just vibes in during art class, draws and that’s pretty much it

The drawings,,,,,eh,,,, not that good, he only specialize in doodling as I said

so in conclusion,

drawing? 2/10

doodling? I’ll give a solid 5/10, good job

Komi

I’m gonna say this and I’m prolly gonna say it again

He hates art class

Like, even with him trying his best to draw, it’ll always gonna look strange than what he planned

mf cannot draw a straight line in art class

This dood can draw a nice straight line in any other class whether it’s for a graph or others,

And then proceed to shakily draw a straight line during art session

Totally not an art kid and will never be one

His drawings,,,,

I’m so sorry but it looks so bad

It’ll prolly look a lot better if he put more effort, but it’ll still look bad no matter what

Komi hates art class and can’t draw even a decent doodle so unfortunately, I’ll have to rate it 0/10, sorry :(

Anahori

His drawings are eh

It’s not good but also not bad?

Sometimes you’ll just stare at his drawing for a good minute and be like, what did he just draw just now?

What I’m saying is that his drawing’s are unexplainable

Maybe if you stare at it a little bit longer then it’ll make sense and you can see the beauty in it

But honestly I can’t really see anything, not in a bad way, but like, literally nothing

You’ll be staring at his canvas as the mario kart rainbow road music started playing inside your head

But Anahori is always proud of his drawings no manner what

So, I’ll rate confusion/10

Onaga

Just like Komi, he sorta hates art class too

But lemme tell ya, his sketches are GODLY, like, have you seen those pinterest hand sketches?

That’s what his sketch would look like

It’s so yummy to look at what

But he sucks at lineart so JAHGSDSHD

Onaga cannot properly hold the black pen and do the lineart, it’ll always turn wonky and he had to throw it away

Like, if he spend even hours tryna outline it all, and then erase it

It’ll look so trash

And he’ll just stare at it for a couple of minutes before crumpling the paper

He’ll also suck at coloring

Mans cannot understand how the color blend in together

And I think I’ll rate,,,,,6/10 just cause he suck at coloring and lineart lmao don’t worry i suck at coloring too

Kaori

Another decent drawer and her drawings are almost the same as Akaashi��s

But instead of it looking pretty, it looks cute

I have a headcanon that Kaori have a journal and does journaling so that’s prolly the reason why her drawings are cute af

But honestly, her drawings sometimes depends on her mood,

If she’s mad or frustrated, her drawing would look kinda rough and not that cute anymore

If she’s feeling happy tho, It’ll look so nice and cuddly does that even make any sense

Isn’t necessarily an art kid but would love to try be one

And she totally have drawing sessions with Washio aaaaaa,

Just imagine both of them sketching in the same sketchbook while talking about the volleyball club or anything else

She’s getting an 9/10 just cause her sketchs looks clean <33

Yukie

She doesn’t draw at all

Like, you’ll never see her drawing at any kind of time so you have no idea what it looks like

Yukie would still attend art class,

But never draws

She said that she’s pretty lazy to draw it and said to draw it at her home later

But no one even saw that drawing after that

Yukie doesn’t show her drawings nor EVEN draw for once

So I technically can’t rate :/

inarizaki.

Ginjima

LISTEN

The only reason why I started with Gin is because he have some amazing drawing skills

He admit that he’s not an art kid but draws godly as if he had been thought since he was a kid,

Well, actually yes

I think Ginjima actually wanted to be a drawer when he was still a little kid way before he started his 3rd year of middle school

So he practiced a few and became a nice drawer since then,

But he kinda quit being a drawer and decided to go with volleyball

And guess what?

His drawing talent is still there

He totally specialize in pencil drawing cause that’s the first thing he started learning

The lines are smooth and the shading are so yummy what is wrong with me

The Miya twins and Suna are so sh00ked when he saw his drawing during art class

ngl he’s pretty smug about it too but doesn’t brag about it

I’ll give this boy 12/10, mwuaah

Suna

I hate this man for this sole reason

Suna is too LAZY to draw so he doesn’t give any effort in his drawing

I can guarantee myself that I’ll get an eye strain when I saw his drawing

And...

*wipes away tears*

He draws too many dick

–2/10

Don’t come for my head Suna lovers

Atsumu

OMFG

OKAY, OKAY, I KNOW THAT ATSUMU MIGHT PUT ON SOME EFFORT IN HIS DRAWINGS,

BUT WHY IS IT STILL SO BAD?????

He’ll prolly think his drawing would look good but no, it’s not

No matter on what perspective you look his drawings at, It’ll still look bad

AND HE DOESN’T EVEN NOTICE IT

Osamu laughs a lot at his drawing and they started fighting for that only reason smh

Atsumu, I appreciate your effort so SO much,

But please, just stick to volleyball

–10+/10

I put a plus there because of his effort and because of pity

Osamu

He draws in ms paint, with a mouse

But he can draw some foods tho

But all of it looks wonky af

1/10

Akagi

A pretty decent drawer

Akagi always draw happy and cute drawings so you’ll also get happy when you saw his drawings

Puts on a big smile when people compliments his drawing and shyly scratches the back of his neck

“Nah, this just look normal!”

But he draws oddly thick lines sometimes

Sometimes it looks good in some drawing

And sometimes it looks, bizzare in others...

But I think his drawing would look nice <3

Overall, I’ll give a,,, 7.5/10, keep up the good work

Oomimi

He’s from class 7 AND I really think that he’ll be good at drawing

Well, he can draw a few things but he struggles drawing other things he never accustomed to

But!

Oomimi is that kid who’s good at drawing scenery

He knows basic color palettes and which is cold and hot colors

So the scenery drawing would always look good

He get a lot of compliments for the drawing (50% of it from Akagi)

I think he doesn’t have that many time to relax and draw freely but when he does have it, it’ll just be small and simple doodles

um, let’s go with 8/10 <3

Aran

I truly believe that Aran can draw peoples face but in a pretty decent amount

He’s also good with anatomy teach me your ways king

But as much as he’s good at that, he kinda sucks at drawing any kind of background drawings

Mans can’t draw a scenery I’m telling you

As if the background doesn’t even exist in his mind lolol I’m sorry Aran lovers, I didn’t mean that in a bad way

Mainly uses copic markers to color and color pencils to shade

The first time he use the copic marker, he got really frustrated that the marker stain the other pages lmao

And he never uses digital drawing applications or softwares

Aran just doesn’t

I think I’ll rate him, 8.5/10

Kita

Okay, I know that Kita’s a top student and never fails in anything

But he’s not typically a good drawer that much

His drawing still got good marks but when you look at it, it just looks normal

I just know that the Kita lovers gonna get me after this

It’s not that bad and not that good, just a nice balance in between

I personally think Kita’s not that godly in drawing but rather a neutral drawer

He draw what he can and does shading and coloring when it’s needed

The colors are all basic colors, no pastel, no neon

And the shadings are pretty basic

Just a normal drawer here

Ya’ll gonna fight me for this but I’ll give Kita’s point,

7/10

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lutrain2020 · 4 years ago

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Meet the Creator!

Introducing: @imorphemi!

Commissions: I have done commissions in the past on an online game with game currency (which I don't do anymore), but as of now I don't have Paypal so I can't really even if i wanted to :P

Social Media: Tumblr: @imorphemi Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imorphemi_art/ DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/imorphemi

What's your artistic process like?

I do really messy sketches first, and then one or two more sketch layers over it to clear out the clutter. Afterwards it depends on what style I choose to draw in, but usually it's line art first if I'm drawing it, then color, then background, and finally shading with a lot of multiply and add layers. Shading's my favorite part.

Tell us a little bit about yourself!

To start off, my favorite color is purple! I like the cool colors best although other colors are very nice too. While not drawing I sometimes would watch speedpaints or I would read. The time I have spent reading has dwindled quite a bit in the past few years since I've gotten better at drawing though. I like to listen to things while I work on stuff, usually electronic music or other people talking on the voicechats. It's always interesting in there; you can often enough, catch on midway and hear some great stories.

What kind of mediums do you like to use?

I do digital art yes, but other than that I enjoy working with clay and wires! I've been kind of working on a side project, creating my skykid Roane with wires, clay, and fabric, and it's been quite fun. Wiring is something that I got interested in when my mom bought me a DIY wire jewelry kit, clay I was introduced to in art class at school, and I wanted to try out sewing after watching certain videos on Youtube.

What got you into art? What inspires you to keep creating art?

I've started drawing when I was pretty young, but I never really got anywhere until I met my friend in 7th grade. She was a really good artist and yeah, I compared my art to hers and strove to get better, which eventually turned into me really enjoying it! As for what inspires me, well, its anything that I find that makes me want to draw something. A really good fanfiction, some pretty flowers, a what-if scenario that popped into my head when I'm trying to go to sleep, it just makes me want to draw something and create.

What's your favorite/least favorite subjects to use in your art?

I love drawing faces and expressions. It's amazing how much you can convey with a little downturn on the eyebrows or making the smile just a wee bit bigger. What I don't like drawing though, is scales and things like that. I don't like drawing small things over and over again.

What's the worst thing you had to draw?

The worst thing, huh? That would be a piece I had to draw using charcoal in art class. We were to draw a still life piece using charcoal and no lines. Not even a sketch. Just shading. It was torture for me and the page ended up looking like I just smudged charcoal everywhere.

Is there something that you struggled with that made you grow as an artist?

Everything! Anatomy, shading, perspective, proportions, and so much more! I think the main thing that I really struggled with and very much improved on is appreciating my work and recognize that it's actually pretty good! When I was just starting out on drawing I would look back at previous pieces that I've done and immediately point out, like 20 or so things I've done wrong and feel stupid that I was actually proud of those previous pieces. But now, I look back at my old art and I go, "Yeah, those folds looks a little wonky but I also LOVE how I did the lighting!" And I think that tells me that I've really gone far.

If you have any fun stories about the pieces you made, please do share!

Well...I was really bored one afternoon so I decided to scroll through the entire linkeduniverseontwitter instagram. And I found the tweet where Four proposes an idea: Sparring, but the goal is to get close enough to the other person to kiss them. Wind challenges him and Four accepts. It goes on a bit with the other Links but I just HAD to draw that adorable scene with the kiddos, so I ran a poll on Instagram to see who would be the kisser (Wind won) and drew a little comic for it. It was really fun and cute to draw

#Meet the Creator #lutrain2020 #lu #linkeduniverse

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kzesl · 5 years ago

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Kdrama: Moorim school-thoughts

I have a lot of feelings about Moorim School: Saga of the Brave, and guess what? I’m going to share. Fair warning, this post is probably going to be a jumbled mess. Like me. I’m a jumbled mess. Spoilers ahoy.

Meet everyone at the school. They all look dorky. Headmaster in the middle, students on the left and teachers on the right, with some overlap.

How I got into this one? I watched Secretly, greatly (ouch, my feels. I could write a long post about it. Stop me. Please.) and then I decided to see what else Lee Hyun Woo has acted in. Because he was an adorable badass in it, and I am weak.

Objectively speaking, Moorim school is not very good. I, however, don’t watch things objectively. Why be objective when you can be subjective? Right? Right. This is not a kdrama that I would recommend to anyone who has never watched a kdrama before. This is a drama for those who like certain, specific things in their dramas. I enjoyed it. Even though I had to increase the speed at times. I use Super Netflix extension occasionally, I admit.

What is it about?

This is the IMDb summary: Moorim School isn't focused on high academic scores. The school teaches students virtues including honesty, faith, sacrifice and communication. The teachers and students at the school come from different countries with their own stories.

These are the four main characters, from left to right: Wang Chi-Ang, Shim Soon-deok, Yoon Shi-Woo, and Hwang Sun-ah.

The intro is a bit misleading. It makes you expect badassery and mysticism, and instead you get a bunch of dorks arguing about who gets the bed with a good view though the window.

It starts with a man protecting a little girl, and fighting off a bunch of mean looking men, dressed in black (gasp! Bad guys) in the woods. The fight scenes are not exactly good. They make me cringe. It’s not high production. However, not every series can be like K2 when it comes to fight scenes. It’s a bit bad, because the series focuses on martial arts quite a bit, but eh. They managed to convey that the man protecting the girl is a badass. Let us move on and not mention the quality of action scenes again. He fights the bad guys off and hides with the girl behind a shield that he raises by activating magical symbols. (Magic is never explained. Everyone just accepts its existence. It’s not taught at the school either. It just exists and no one questions it.)

Then we jump to eighteen years later.

People are preparing for a concert, but the main star, the most popular member of k-pop group Möbius, Yoon Shi-Woo, is sleeping instead of rehearsing. He gets chewed out, but he is not overly concerned. He’s got bigger problems, like the splitting headaches and wonky hearing.

Next we meet Wang Chi-Ang, who is spoiled, sheltered momma’s boy, who only wants to make her happy and his father, the chairman of the Shang Hai group, proud. He’s in the city to go to the concert, because his father’s company is sponsoring it. Shi-Woo is a model for their company.

Shim Soon-deok is a resourceful young woman who is working hard to support herself and her blind father. She sells food at the concert, and she works at a chicken place. She also attends Moorim school. The ladies are badass in this series. Which is nice.

Hwang Sun-ah is Soon-deok’s friend and Shi-Woo’s biggest fan. She calls him my Shi-Woo (headcanon: she is the founder of his fan club. It is a secret she will take to her grave, because it feels a bit awkward when certain truths come to light. Headcanon 2: Shi-Woo knows, but lets her think he doesn’t.). She had to sneak out to go to the concert, because her father, the headmaster of Moorim school is overprotective.

There are a couple of shirtless scenes and Shi-Woo has a Very Important Necklace, which we know because the camera focuses on it a lot.

Chi-Ang and Shi-Woo are accidentally given the same room at a hotel. Oh, no. Who’s going to be the one to leave?!?! Chi-Ang attempts to throw his weight around and refuse to sponsor Shi-Woo, because everything is a competition for that man and he has to win. But Shi-Woo is unimpressed and uninterested and like cool, whatevs, day off.

That’s Shi-Woo there, in white. No fucks given. Can’t win against someone who’s not playing, Chi-Ang. Now this says a lot about their future relationship. Chi-Ang always tries to win, and Shi-Woo always refuses to compete.

The concert goes okay, until there is an accident on stage and Shi-Woo almost gets injured/dies because a piece of equipment starts falling on him and he doesn’t hear everyone shout at him to move because of the wonky hearing. He slows the equipment down with his surprise magical powers and Sun-ha manages to save him. She tells him to go to Moorim school, but doesn’t tell him how to get there (who needs directions, anyway).

Both he and Chi-Ang end up there in the end. Chi-Ang because his father insists (he has nefarious plans) and the girl he likes goes to the same school, and Shi-Woo because he wants help with his hearing. There is a possibility that he will permanently loose it and music is all he has. He is an orphan who has no one else in this world since his manager/father figure turned out to be all about the money. Also, the relationship he has with the rest of his group seems strictly professional. And Möbius was the name he used for himself before he was even scouted. So it predates the group. (I want to read a fic about group feels, or an AU where they are actually close.)

Also, the shield magically comes down when they come close to the school for the first time, and that was not supposed to happen and everyone is concerned. But that relates to the plot and the plot is a bit meh. I’m here for the relationships anyway. (Sigh. The plot had potential.)

Things happen, and I won’t go into detail, but the two of them get expelled, go on a quest, get accepted back into the school and become friends. BFFs.

The school teaches cooking, martial arts, manners (I think), dance (?), meditation, and no other subject, it seems. It is a very weird school, and the professors are weird and nothing makes sense, but okay. Not many things about this series make sense. Moorim was created to ensure world peace, apparently. And it’s a martial arts school, primarily, but they are more focused on teaching good values. There aren’t that many students in this school, and they are from all over. I’m not sure how students are actually recruited. The school is a secret. Are they scouted? Are they those connected to Moorim? Or those who get lost in the woods outside of the school? Who knows. Not me. They also seem to struggle financially because the heating is off. Why else would everyone sleep pretty much fully clothed?

The other students in the school get some screen time, but their characters are not all that well fleshed out, so I found myself not caring too much. It got a bit better in later episodes. One of them keeps badmouthing others in English, for some reason. It’s not like on one understands him. Everyone understands him. He just likes speaking English, I guess.

There is a mysterious man in a coma, villains, a magical key split into three pieces that can lead to unlimited power, reunited families, surprise siblings, etc.

Also, let’s ignore how quickly some people became good at martial arts. Now, I’m no expert, but I have a bit of experience in martial arts and I have known some extremely talented individuals, prodigies, but even they needed more than two months to get anywhere. I’m going to leave it at that. Magic is real in this universe. It’s magic. Problem solved.

The part I like the most about this series is the relationship between Chi-Ang and Shi-Woo. They start off as roommates who don’t like one another, so they fight a lot. It changes, but- Now I’m all for men being shown as having other male friends they can have healthy relationships with, someone they could lean on and cry in front of, if necessary, without toxic masculinity getting in the way. Let men be friends, yeah? And I’m not one who immediately sees gay in everything. But, those two guys have the hots for each other. They’re all: I came back for you/I stayed for you/I miss you/You mean more to me than unlimited power/You’re so cool-No you are/Don’t smile, I might start liking you.

Ahem.

They like the same girl (Soon-deok). Which seemed very hard for them, but I believe that was the best thing that could have happened to them. Soon-deok kept refusing Chi-Ang, and she was very clear about it. She drew the line at one point, and he made me very uncomfortable when he outright told her that he doesn’t care about her lines. This could have turned very ugly if his rival had been anyone other than Shi-Woo. He threatened to destroy Shi-Woo more than once, and he came close to irreparably destroying their relationship, but in the end he didn’t. Because Shi-Wook had so much faith in him, he couldn’t bear to. Again, if it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have even hesitated. (Hmm, imagine a Dark AU. So many possibilities. )

I have the urge to write fic. Sigh.

Also, at one point the students have a party and Möbius’s song plays in the background and no one teases Shi-Woo about it or peer pressures him into doing his part of the song or the dance, or even looks at him while smirking. WTH. Come one, guys!

Back to the two leads. It’s an interesting dynamic they have. And although Chi-Ang is taller, physically stronger and more imposing, it’s Shi-Woo who’s actually in charge. And I’m not going to tell you to get your mind out of the gutter, because that’s exactly where mine is. And Chi-Ang looks like he might have a serious praise kink. Besides, we have seen that Shi-Woo is not shy about going after what he wants. As we saw with the two kissing scenes with Soon-deok, he is quietly assertive. Unlike Chi-Ang, who is more… bluster and need for attention.

Shi-Woo started as this arrogant, irritable superstar, but it didn’t take him long to shed that behavior, that image. As if, all this time, he was just waiting for a moment out of the spotlight, for a place where he can belong. He seems like one of those people who were born knowing which lines they are not willing to cross. His urge to harm someone is his greatest fear, because he is aware of the damage he is capable of inflicting.

Chi-Ang had different masks. He too knew loneliness, but his was of a different kind. While Shi-Woo was not protected enough, Chi-Ang was sheltered too much. His mother dotes on him, and his father adores him, albeit in his own, extremely unhealthy way. It was clear to me from the start that his father loves him. It seems a significant thing that he is the son of a mistress and not legitimate, but his father has made no attempt to hide him. He provides for him, protects him and spoils him. He has no kind words for him, though, and his lessons are poison, but he tried to make his son strong. Which is what he values. And he has used him. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love him. He just doesn’t know how to love properly.

Chi-Ang takes after his father in many ways. We see that the most in later episodes. But he has people who have faith in him, and who are willing to tell him off. He is aware that he is wiling to cross too many lines, lines he shouldn’t. He is gray, and will probably always struggle with himself. He seems like a puppy most of the time, but when he is serious about something, his determination is a scary thing.

Shi-Woo would make a more terrifying villain, though. He wouldn’t become one, precisely because he terrifies himself when he thinks about what he could do, if pushed enough.

I could talk more about this series. There are quite a few touching moments I could cover, and also a lot of ridiculousness and wth moments, but there is a reason I didn’t do a recap of every episode. I don’t have time. Besides, I wrote all of this just to get it off my chest, because I have no fandom friends to discuss stuff with. It is sad.

Also, I should have broken up the text in this with a few more photos, but I’m tired.

#kdrama #korean drama #moorim school #headcanons meta fic musings

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tessatechaitea · 5 years ago

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Batman #442

Can you believe thirty years ago, DC was trying to convince a bunch of adults that it was okay to read their kiddy mags?

There wasn't this much sexual tension in the last porn I watched.

This is my reputation on the line so I'd just like to point out that the above scanned panel is all off-kilter because the entire stupid page was wonky. I fucking scan like a champ! Meanwhile, Two-Face struggles to set off the explosives in the basement where Batman and Nightwing are trapped. First he needs to argue with himself about how to flip the coin. Does he catch it and flip it over onto the back of his hand? Well, to decide that, he's going to have to flip the coin. But if he's yet to decide how to flip the coin, how does he flip the coin to decide how to flip the coin?! It's a wonder Two-Face ever comes to any conclusive decision at all! I'm suddenly realizing he's Batman's least believable nemesis! And Batman sometimes fights a guy with eyes on all his fingers! Two-Face flips his coin (I suppose he's long ago figured out the procedure for coin flipping. I bet getting stuck on how to flip the coin meant he got his ass beat by Batman one too many times. Being a lawyer, he realized he needed to be prepared for pressure situations like this). The results allow him to blow up Batman and Nightwing. But he still has to wait until 2 in the morning. Or 2:02? Maybe 2:20? 2:22? I guess this time, 2:00 A.M. is fine. And being that Tim mentioned earlier that it was almost two, it looks like it's over for Bruce and Dick! But wait! Help is on the way!

If Alfred and Tim are doing what I think Alfred and Tim are doing, who's driving?!

Tim puts on Robin's suit not because he's been stalking Batman for six years and he's desperate to become the new Robin but because he has to! To save Batman's emotional psyche! It's the most unselfish thing Tim Drake has ever done! It's not like he knew at this moment that he'd eventually get to fuck Stephanie Cluemaster! That was just a reward for being so selfless! I mean Stephanie Cluemaster has agency and her sexuality isn't anybody's trophy! Also Tim is just thirteen and it's 1989 so he probably doesn't know how to have sex. You can only glean so much from MTV and the occasional nudie magazine dredged up in the bushes outside the local high school. I mean, I was pretty sure I knew how to have sex when I was thirteen from watching Lionel Richie's video for "Hello." Seriously though, I have no idea when I went from not knowing what sex was to knowing what it was. I remember seeing Clash of the Titans at the theater when I was ten and not knowing what a virgin was. So I probably didn't know what sex was at ten. It's also probable I knew at ten but just didn't know there was a word for what I am. I mean was! At ten! But by twelve, my friend Hobby Benline had had sex, so I must have known what it was by then. Unless he did it wrong and I got the information from him! Really though, I just don't know where the information came from. I think it must have just sort of condensed inside my head from a whole bunch of disparate notions and experiences.

This fucker is crazy.

Some of you Internet denizens who probably overuse the word "meh" (overuse constitutes a single use) are probably furiously typing, "You just realized that?!" Obviously I knew Two-Face was crazy! That's the whole point of all Batman's villains or else why would Arkham Kiddy-Care be a thing? But that little speech he just gave is really fucking overplaying the whole double thing! I thought maybe he was going to get all excited about the two nines in 1899 or how 1899 is sort of two 18s or maybe he was going to marvel about how he has two grandfathers! This fucker is finding twos every Goddamned where! You can tell Marv Wolfman doesn't write too many Two-Face story because across three Batman issues, he's really blown his wad on finding ways to incorporate the doubling theme. Alfred and Tim arrive just in the nick of time to see the house explode. Tim punches Two-Face in the jaw but only once so it doesn't hurt him. That's what happens when you jump right into the Robin costume without learning about the criminal you're after. Two-Face manages to pick up a crowbar to swing at Tim's head while Alfred can only watch while shitting himself and thinking, "Why the fuck can't I keep the number of a child psychologist on hand at all times?!"

The face of a man culpable for the deaths of too many children's innocence. And also just their deaths. Real deaths. Of children. One at least. Maybe now two. Fucking monster.

Robin manages to jump out of the way without mouthing off which makes Two-Face suspect something is different with Robin. He's all, "Where are all your terrible jokes, Boy Wonder?" And since we know there's an afterlife in the DC Universe, Jason Todd hears Two-Face's critique of his one-liners and his heart hardens. That's why he comes back willing to kill. Alfred finally jumps in to stop Two-Face from killing Tim while yelling, "He's only a boy!" No fucking shit, Pennyworth. Maybe you should have considered that before you allowed Bruce to never get therapy so that he eventually begins wearing a batsuit which eventually leads him to bringing in a young boy to help fight murderers which eventually led him to bringing in another young boy who was killed fighting murderers which eventually led to you driving this "only a boy" to the feet of a murderer while also lending him a superhero outfit to die in. Fuck you, Alfred! You fucking suck. I actually really like Alfred! But fuck is he problematic!

Jesus Christ, Alfred! Code names, you putz!

Alfred is making me so angry this issue! I hope Batman fires him at the end of this. He needs some time off to get his head together. Enough with being an accessory to child endangerment! Tim helps dig out Batman and Nightwing who both survived Two-Face's terrible explosives. I guess BOGO explosives aren't too reliable. And since it was Two-Face, if one of them survived, both of them had to survive. It's part of Two-Face's rules of conduct. Batman sees Robin and tears the mask off of his face, declaring there is no more Robin. But Dick and Alfred are all, "You should have seen him! He's so smart and agile and he's got terrific legs!" But Batman is apparently the only sensible one in this fucking bunch of child-murdering lunatics.

Look, I know how this ultimately turns out. But at least for one panel, I can think, "Way to go, Batman. Good decision! I'm proud of you!"

Tim is all, "Batman needs a Robin!" And Batman is all, "Fuck you!" But then Tim counters with, "What if The Joker brags about killing Robin and everybody is all, 'Hey, yeah. Where is Robin?! Man, we can kill anybody now, I guess!'" And Batman is all, "Well, I mean, it's dangerous work!" And Robin is all, "I know! That was your initial reason to not let me be Robin!" And Batman is all, "Well, I'm not hiring right now! I need to catch Two-Face! He's gotten away!" And Robin is all, "I put a tracker on him!" And Alfred and Nightwing are smiling and elbowing each other and winking and not saying at all, "Batman is going to get this kid killed!" Finally, Batman relents and agrees to discuss it because he's argued against it long enough to make it seem reasonable. Fans can't say Batman just gave in! It was an emotional debate that sorely tested my reading comprehension. Such powerful arguments on both sides! With minimal help from Robin (but enough for Batman's heart to melt), Two-Face is captured!

Later in, presumably, Alfred's bedroom.

Batman eventually relents and decides to train Tim on a trial basis. I guess all of the arguments convinced me as well. Batman totally needs a Robin! How else would, um, Batman do the, um, thing or the other, um, I mean, he just needs Robin! Duh! Batman #442 Rating: C. This issue wasn't really any worse than the others but somehow I can't bring myself to believe Dick and Alfred would be so excited about getting Batman a new Robin. I guess it's like when a friend loses a pet and you have to watch your friend spiral into a severe depression and you don't know how to make them feel better and finally the only thing you can think to do is to buy them a new pet. Then you're happy and giggly and excited when you see the way your friend's eyes light up even if they act like they resent the attempt at making them feel better. And you know the pet is going to quickly worm its way into their heart and you don't care that your friend often throws their pet off of high bridges attached to home-made parachutes because you're not thinking about the safety of the pet at this moment. Your whole purpose is just to make your friend feel better. And that's whey Alfred and Nightwing are so happy putting Tim's life in danger. Because they love Batman that much!

#Batman #A Lonely Place of Dying #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #DC Comics #DC #First Tim Drake as Robin story

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heyellejaye · 6 years ago

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A History, of sorts.

There are so many factors that go into the person we become, and how we behave.

(This is such a long post, filled with hella real real life story, so hang with me here. I promise there’s a sweet little golden nugget of encouragement at the end. If you just want the nugget, scroll down - I won’t be mad if you do that)

**CW: drug use, neglect, suicidal thoughts**

For as long as I can remember, I was picked on for something.

Everything.

Anything.

Being fat (I’ve always been fat, unless I was sick)

Wearing clothes that were too promiscuous

Wearing clothes that were too christian

Being too sexual

Being a prude

Being poor

Having money

Wearing old clothes

Wearing new clothes

Being too loud

Not speaking up enough

Having normal hair

Having crazy hair

Listening to weird music

Listening to top 40 music

Eating kale and mushrooms and nutritional yeast and other vegan lovelies

Eating mcDonalds

Having only a dad at home.

Having only a mom at home.

Literally the broad spectrum of nonsense garnered ridicule from early on.

Those used to bother me, but I learned to kinda brush them off. Of course, it still sewed something of an awareness in my fabric of how “not enough” I was.

When I was little, I remember one night in particular, my mom making a comment about my “thunder thighs” and how I shouldn’t dance too hard because my belly and legs wobbled too much.

I was 9, she was 35.

To be fair, she was high as fuck with her friends and I was up at 11 pm watching TV on a school night in the 3rd grade, so there was far more wrong with that picture than just being mocked by my mom for being a chunky kid.

I looked at her that night and committed her image into my head. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t end up as ugly as her. She was 35, and weathered already. She had worn herself down... tired eyelids hung heavy over vacant, wild eyes, lined all the way around in messy black eyeliner, making her blue-green irises something of an oasis in the whole mess, soot smudges from her pipe or whatever she was smoking that night on the side of her lip. The image is burned in my mind with incredible detail.

That night shut me down. Vulnerability became a struggle ever since. I still don’t really dance, because of the wobble. I’m working on that.

I wasn’t in her care much longer after that. I saw so many really horrible things that addiction brings to users and the people in their wake. I can go into that another day, but there are a lot of things children shouldn’t have to deal with, and substance is the catalyst for a lot of that.

My dad got custody of my flock of siblings, and my mom spiraled into her own personal hell. I didn’t see her very often after that, and when I had a chance, I kinda avoided the opportunities. The mom that I remember when I was little was gone. Burned away by substance, and replaced with a shaky, tongue-chewing shell of her former self, at best.

Going through my adolescence and teen-years without a mom didn’t seem weird to me, because the years leading up to it were largely mom-less too. She was there, but kinda only on paper. Never really in practice. Except for the one time she told me that if I ever wanted to try drugs, that I should do them around her and not alone.

(looking back I just have to laugh at that statement, because again, I was 9 when it happened. bless’er tweakerass heart.)

When we went to live with my dad, we almost immediately started going to church. I’m pretty sure my dad didn’t really know what to do with all these dang kids, and my Grandma who was and still is in constant devotion to a loving Jesus, told him to get us in church, so he did.

When you come from a place of neglect and trauma, surrounded by drug abuse, attending little conservative baptist church is like jumping into an icy lake after a hot shower. It’s a shock to the system, and takes some pretty intense adjustment in behavior. You get used to it, but there’s a process.

So, while I know the shift from my previous life to church was beneficial, every time someone said “we don’t say those things here” or “you can’t wear that here” or “That’s not how we behave”, “you should”, “you shouldn’t” was a little icy stab into my person. Another patch sewn into my cloak of expectations, placed on my shoulders by outside individuals.

Going through middle school and high school and beyond I was given a whole collection of “You should” and “You shouldn’t” patches that would make any Girl Scout chartreuse with envy. Peers, adults, teachers, well-meaning relatives, church clergy, employers, boys who liked me, girls who liked me, boys and girls I liked... all sewed expectations into my personality that felt less like adornments and more like restraints. It was rare (and not until high school, really) that someone poured into -me- specifically, and made me feel like I can be/do/think bigger than my circumstances. There were four people that come to mind, two of whom have now passed.

(** NOTE - If you’re an educator and maybe you feel like you’re not getting through to the kids, I promise, I PROMISE, you are. You might be the reason they believe or even know that it’s possible to rearrange their stars**)

Somewhere along the way, I developed a chameleon soul.

The shoulds and shouldn’ts were so much to carry on one person, and so limiting, so the cloak became whatever the next person wanted it to be. It’s hard to shake the tendency to accommodate everyone else’s opinions and preferences for who I should be, but I’m working on that, too.

Take all of that life... All of those experiences, and mix media into that screwy little cake. Media that tells us that we need to be skinnier, blonder, taller, have better hair, better makeup, cooler activities, perfect boobs, plumpier lips, brighter eyes, better skills, whiter teeth, perfect mental health, three college degrees, a great job, sunny shiny happy days all the goddamn time. This part has been beaten to death, but in case you haven’t heard it yet... that’s not attainable.

I was FOREVER apologizing for who I was. I would always make excuses for why I wasn’t good enough for praise for anything. “You look so pretty” “yeah, but my hair is a mess” “I love this picture you took” “yeah, but the lighting was weird, sooo...” Gosh, Always excuses.

I didn’t really learn that lesson well enough early on though.

I tried. I did. But my chameleon soul tried so hard to be everything to everyone and eventually won.

Seasons came and went life happened and I met a boy. We went from zero to 60, right away.

I got pregnant fast. I got married fast. I lost the baby a week and a half after we got married. I convinced myself that it was God’s will that we lost the baby because we got a fresh start. I played house a while, had a couple more babies, I was attacked by depression, but still pretended to be happy. I did so much battle with my body. Not really for any reason, either.

I was married to a man who didn’t care how I looked, like... ever.

He didn’t care that I was getting pudgier after babies. He only ever made commentary when he was drunk. Which wasn’t super often, but it wasn’t super rare, either. And that’s not to say he was an alcoholic or anything, he was just more prone to poking fun when he had a few, and I was usually the target.

He wasn’t big on compliments, and never had favorites, so the only “feedback” I got from my husband was negative. It kicked me deeper into the need to look better to get positive affirmation, but also... I was SO depressed. I had two babies under two and I was drowning in my own life. I couldn’t let anyone know though, because a not-ok version of me was not who anyone wanted me to be. I apologized for the space I took up. I apologized for my chubby cheeks and post-baby tummy flab, and my armpit fat, and my wonky boobs and my tired eyes. I didn’t feel like I was worth compliments, honest hugs or good sex... but I pretended to be happy.

God, I worked my ass off to show everyone how happy I was.

(spoiler alert, I wasn’t. I wasn’t ever fucking happy. I wasn’t even interested in being alive anymore) I didn’t want anyone to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do to be a better version of myself, and GOD forbid I admit that my happy world was less than sterling. Why wouldn’t I be happy? I had a cute husband and cute kids and a cute business and a cute little chunk of land in a cute little town, I attended a trendy church... literally everything looked so perfect. Except for the person I saw in the mirror.

I looked in the mirror and saw those heavy eyelids over dead eyes. I saw the face of a woman I never wanted to become.

I never fell into chemical substance, instead I was addicted to being everything. The cloak I wore was my drug... and it wasted me away. It stole the life from my eyes. I didn’t actively seek deterioration with drugs or alcohol, but every morning, I’d lie in bed and wonder what I could do to end the parade.

I wasn’t ok, and I couldn’t talk about it with just anyone, but I had a couple of far-away friends with whom I could share the heavy thoughts. They were ears and shoulders when I needed them to be. They didn’t know JUST how heavy the thoughts were, but they were there for the parts I was willing to share. They encouraged. They challenged my self doubt and allowed space for me to be proud of myself for small reasons, and then big reasons. They spoke life into my too-tired heart.

I decided in that season of life that I would choose my good self. I would make choices that lead to a healthier mind. I would choose deep-down-in-my-bones joy. I decided that I would live. Not just be alive, but -live-. I decided that I would create things that I loved. I’d hug with my whole self. No ass-out hugs. When someone fell into my arms, they would know that I wanted them there.

I decided to be better for myself and wear a face that my children could remember with fondness and not be ashamed of when they saw the same face in the mirror.

I decided to choose to be a light for the people that cross my path, as often as I can. I can’t build their path, but I CAN shine a light so maybe they can find their own.

I’ve lived a whole life since that season, which is a completely different novel in itself, but the time between has been a healing space. It’s been a big mistake making space, and a growing space and a hurting space, but the forward motion is remarkable.

I’m a week away from 35. I hadn’t given a lot of thought to the significance of this age until lately. I look at my whole self in the mirror and I’m proud of who I am. I like the face I see in the mirror. I like the way my eyes shine in pictures.

I like the life they carry. I like my big soft body. I like that I’m a safe place to land for my children. I like that I can wrap hugs around my friends. I like that my big strong legs can carry me up a mountain, even if I get a little out of breath. I like that I’ve created humans and I’ve eaten yummy food with people I love. I am pretty active sometimes, and sometimes I lose a little weight, and sometimes I gain a little weight, and I can’t complain too much because this body serves me so well. I’m fat, but I also think I’m quite lovely. I don’t see those as opposing adjectives. Fatness and loveliness can hold hands and play happily.

I have shortcomings. I deal with some thick anxiety sometimes, and sometimes I eat too many pieces of pizza, then I feel like I need a nap, and sometimes I still take on too much, trying to be all of the things all of the time to everyone,and then I completely drop the ball and let people down... but I’m working on making better decisions and facing that kooky anxious stuff head on. It’s a process.

I’m a recovering chameleon. I’m trying my best every day to not attempt to be everything to everyone, but I struggle.

The shoulds and shouldn’ts still weigh heavy on my shoulders, and some days I wear the cloak longer than others. Trying to be free of it causes its own issues, but my feet are pointed in the right direction, I think.

(here’s the nugget if you’re just joining from the top)

I am not the words that other people have placed on me.

I am not the opinions of other people.

I am not the expectations of other people.

I am not the tragedy I have seen

I am not the circumstances from which I have walked.

I am not the mistakes I have made.

I am not the successes I have gathered.

I am not my illness

I am not my family

I am not everything to everyone.

And neither are you.

I’m not ok sometimes. And sometimes... I’m so ok.

I’m more than ok, I’m incredible, and I believe that the future is only more brilliant than the already radiant now.

I hope for you, if any of this resonates with you, that you also can see your own radiance. Not the cloak of shoulds and shouldn’ts that other people have put on your shoulders.

I hope you really live, and you do the things you love, and you overflow with abundant joy that spills onto the people around you. I hope that when people hug you, they know that you want them there, and I hope that you only hug people you want to hug.

I hope you know that the body you’re in is a miracle. The odds of you being here are FOUR TRILLION to one. You could have showed up in this life as a toaster. But you’re not. You’re an incredible being, capable of fat tears and belly laughs and loving someone so much it hurts and inspiring hope and surviving really heavy shit. Toasters can’t do any of that.

And I hope upon hope that the person you see in the mirror is someone you like.

#4-4-19

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