#prettiest scene of the week fight me

[aanithewrapper]

Why so pretty?? Why so romantic??? Why not me?????????

[sskk-manifesto]

Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´；ω；｀)

[smileysuh]

christmas puppy

🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable.

tw/cw. multiple sex scenes, airplane sex, best friend's brother Jae touching reader while his sister is drunk/asleep next to them, fingering, multiple orgasms, phone sex, dirty talk, praise, slight stalking/use of snapmaps to obsess over a crush, jealousy, unprotected sex, Jae is a munch, sibling antics, 'loser' jae, exhibitionism, directed masturbation, etc… I pet names: (hers) angel. (his) puppy.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 11k

🍭 aus. uni/frat au, best friend's brother Jae, boy next door Jae, Christmas, secret romance, established relationship, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. It's the way I'm kind of in love with him, he's so stupidly soft

Prologue

“We really shouldn’t be doing this,” you groan as your best friend’s brother slips his hand under your shirt, pressing you tighter against the door of his frathouse bedroom.

“You’re right,” Jaehyun concedes, but his lips continue their fevered pace against your throat, and his thumb brushes by your nipple, making you moan louder.

“Your sister-”

“Never has to know,” he finishes for you.

He pinches your nipple gently and it has you whining, your panties growing wetter by the second. But it’s only a brief distraction before your mind is spinning again. “We need to stop,” you say, but in the same sentence, you reach between your bodies to palm Jaehyun’s cock through his jeans.

“We can stop,” Jaehyun nods, finally pulling away from your neck to look you in the eyes. “Tell me to stop.”

You stare at the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. The man you grew up with. The older brother of your best friend, the boy next door. He’d been at the center of all your fantasies in high school- but you’d never thought you’d actually end up in this situation with him… repeatedly. 

You can’t say no, and you both know it.

Jaehyun smirks, a pretty dimple on display, and then he’s smashing his lips to yours. His hands wrap around your waist, and he tosses you onto his bed. By the time he’s kissed down your body and lifted up your skirt, all your objections have dissipated from your mind.

There’s only you and Jaehyun, and right now, that’s all that matters.

One

“I’m literally dying to see you,” Nari grins the moment you open Facetime.

You laugh, setting your textbook aside. “You’re seeing me now.”

“Don’t be like that,” Nari rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Christmas! Just a few more exams, and by this time two weeks from now, we’ll be making cookies and Christmas shopping and watching movies and hitting on cute boys at the skating rink-”

You smile at the thought, although your heart picks up speed at the mention of boys.

“I hear Mark Lee is going to be home for Christmas, and so is his cousin Jeno- I’m thinking, if we play our cards right, maybe we can swing a double date, or we could invite them to my family Christmas party and see what happens under the mistletoe!” Nari continues.   

“Are you still crushing on Mark?” you laugh, shocked that her infatuation with her old high school crush is still alive and well despite going to a different uni than the resident hockey prodigy.

“Of course!” Nari’s expression falls. “Wait, aren’t you still into Jeno?”

“Honestly?” You take a deep breath. “We’ve done a whole term at our new universities, and I feel like it would be better for me to find someone here. Long distance isn’t my thing.”

“Well, in that case… I suppose I can talk to my brother and have him set you up with one of his frat friends,” - the thought of Jaehyun setting you up with anyone other than himself is almost comical, and you have to fight the laugh that bubbles inside of you - “actually, that brings me to the reason I called! I know you and Jae were going to leave to fly home around the same time, but it turns out you booked the same flight- what are the odds huh?”

Your heart skips a beat again. You hadn’t thought much of telling Jaehyun your flight time three nights ago after he’d fucked you stupid- hadn’t realized there might be an ulterior motive to his question. 

Of course he’d get the same flight as you.

You’ve been sleeping together for just over two months now, and the fratboy always has a way of ending up in the same room as you- although, he’d been using Snapchat maps to do it originally. 

The man is obsessed- and you kind of love it.

You’d mentioned wanting to join the mile-high club to him the fourth time you’d hooked up, when you’d discussed sex bucket lists, but you’d never imagined he would remember it- or try to put it into practice.

“Anyways, I know you two aren’t close,” Nari explains, “but I thought you might want to coordinate with him, and when you land, I can pick you both up from the airport, save your mom a trip.”

You swallow thickly before nodding. “That would be nice.” 

It would be nice… but it won’t be easy.

You’re shocked you’ve even kept your little secret this long, and you’re dreading what it will be like once you’re in person with your best friend. Hiding the fact that you’re fucking her brother while at uni with him is one thing, doing it in front of Nari will be another. 

Two

“I know what’s making you tense,” Jaehyun says, pulling his face from between your thighs and straightening to stare down at you.

“Exam season?” you suggest, mind half occupied with the final you have tomorrow.

“You’ve had big tests before and it’s never taken this long to make you cum,” Jaehyun scoffs. “Not that I mind, of course,” he leans down to press a quick kiss to your lips, adjusting on top of you while his cock slides between your wet pussy lips, teasing you. “You’re worried about seeing Nari.”

“Are you seriously going to talk about her while you put your cock in me?” you laugh, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

“I’m not inside you yet,” he grins, pausing his grinding movements. 

“And I hate that you’re not,” you groan, your core still throbbing from the orgasm he’d just given you with his tongue.

“Be for real with me for a moment,” Jaehyun urges, leaning down to press his lips to your throat. “Is it really the worst thing in the world if Nari finds out about us?”

“Puppy-”

“It’s been two months. We’ve been fucking for two months, angel. I know you don’t like to use official terms but come on… you know what we are to each other. Isn’t Christmas the best time to tell everyone?”

“Tell them what? That we’re fucking?”

“Don’t make me use the G word, because I will,” he warns.

“The G word?” you fake innocence.

With a low groan, Jaehyun pushes his cock into you. “Christmas is the best time to tell everyone that you’re my girlfriend.”

“Is that what I am?” you tease, although your stomach erupts in butterflies at the notion. 

Jaehyun tangles his fingers with yours, pressing them against the pillows while he begins to thrust into you. “Uh huh.”

“You’re so soft, puppy.”

“I’m actually really hard,” he smirks, looking down at you with mischievous eyes. “No one makes me hard like you do.”

You laugh. “How romantic.”

“Look-” he swallows thickly, holding your hands tighter while rutting into you, “we’re flying home together- Nari might guess it even if we don’t tell her.”

“If you look at me the way you’re looking at me right now, it will be kind of obvious,” you admit. 

Jaehyun has taken to staring at you like a lovesick puppy, and your new uni friends are the first ones who pointed it out to you. At the time, you’d assumed they were being crazy- when you’d first started fucking Jaehyun, you’d thought he’d always just be your best friend’s hot older brother. You’d had no way of ever anticipating that he’d fall for you as hard as he has.

“So we should just tell her,” Jaehyun suggests.

“What if I want to keep you as my dirty little secret?” you sigh. “Just for a bit longer.”

You can feel his hot breath against your face, can see that he’s not happy with the idea, but he nods anyway. “Whatever you want, angel.”

“Thank you, puppy.”

Lifting your head off the pillows, you press your lips to Jaehyun’s, and that’s the last you have to say on the matter before getting lost in him.

Three

“Fuck, angel,” Jaehyun groans, digging his fingers into your thighs while your panting and muffled moans fill the small airplane bathroom, “I don’t know how I’m going to go five days without this.”

You can only groan against his palm, eyes rolling into the back of your head while he fucks you harder. Your own fingers work your clit, and your pussy is clinging desperately to his cock.

You’re already on the edge- Jae had been teasing you under your blanket at your seats, and the exhibitionism of this whole situation has your heart racing a million beats a minute. 

“I’m sure we can find some time for a few quickies, right?” Jaehyun asks, and you can hear the desperation in his voice. “My sister isn’t going to hog you the whole time-”

You open your eyes, giving Jaehyun a warning look. It’s cute that he’s so worried about his sister- but you hate when he brings her up while balls deep inside your wet pussy- your orgasm so close you can almost taste it-

“Fuck, yeah, you’re right- shit,” Jaehyun gives his head a small shake. “We’ll make this work,” he insists, taking his hand from your mouth so he can crash his lips to your own, fucking you even harder.

It’s a wonder that the whole airplane isn’t rocking with the intensity of his thrusts, and you nearly have a heart attack when the plane hits turbulence just as you both cum.

You cling to each other, shaking with emotion as the small bathroom jolts and rumbles.

The plane steadies out and Jaehyun smiles into your kiss, laughing a little at the way you’d both reacted.

“We should get back to our seats,” he whispers.

“You go out first, I’ll be there in a sec,” you nod, allowing him to help you back onto your feet.

Your legs feel like jelly, and with one final press of his lips to your own, Jaehyun pulls up his sweats and then slips out of the airplane bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts and anxieties. 

Four

“Seriously, I should be pulling my own bag,” you say for the third time since Jaehyun had lifted your luggage off the carousel. 

“You’ve got a bag,” he grins, eying the duffle over your shoulder.

“When Nari sees this, she’s going to know something is up.”

“Maybe she’ll think I’m just being a good brother,” Jaehyun points out. “Besides, she won’t know I pulled your bag through the airport. She’ll just show up with her car, and watch me put your stuff in the trunk. That’s not so bad, is it?”

You suppose he’s right, but your nerves are getting the better of you.

It’s hard to stand so close to Jaehyun without latching onto his side. It’s cold out too, and your jacket is fine, but you know Jaehyun is warmer- know that if you were to sneak your hands under his parka and touch his perfect abs, you’d heat up in no time-

“There she is,” Jaehyun tells you, eying the line of cars waiting to pull up for a brief stop in front of the terminal.

Nari has brought her family Range Rover, and soon the boxy SUV is coming to a stop in front of you. Your best friend jumps out of the driver’s seat, running around the large car to throw her arms around you.

She belts out your name as she embraces you, the fur hood of her jacket tickling your nose. You can’t help but smile, melting into the hug. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally here!” Nari grins, pulling away to get a good look at you. “It’s been way too long, babes!”

You hear a small scoff, and you turn to see Jaehyun already busy at work putting your luggage in the back of the SUV.

“I missed you too, Jae,” Nari calls. “But this is my best friend, excuse me for welcoming her first.”

“I didn’t say anything,” the dimpled frat boy smirks, and you’re struck by the beauty of Jeong genes. Both siblings have perfect black hair, perfect little dimples that pop out when they smile, and perfect brown eyes that are always full of admiration when they look at someone they care about.

After one more small squeeze, Nari bounds over to her brother. You watch as Jaehyun lifts her from the ground, spinning your best friend around while she squeals with delight. 

“Jeeze, Jae,” Nari gasps when she’s set on her feet again, “have you been bulking again? You’re fucking huge!”

You want to groan at the statement, because it’s so true. 

Jaehyun had always been attractive, but then he’d gone to uni, joined the football team- and now, he’s as sexy as ever. His shoulders are broad, his chest sculpted by the gods, his arms all beefy and thick and always ready to throw you onto his bed-

The pretty fratboy notices you staring, and he flashes you a wink over his sister’s shoulder. You break eye contact, staring down at the pavement. 

“Was the flight okay?” Nari asks, coming over to join you again. 

“We hit a bit of turbulence,” Jaehyun answers smoothly. “But I’d say it was a good trip.”

Your skin heats at the memory of him railing you less than an hour ago. You wonder if your panties are wet from watching him be the hottest man you’ve ever seen- or from his cum still dripping out of you.

It feels dirty- but exhilarating at the same time. Jae’s your sinful little secret, and despite the wish that he didn’t have to be, it’s part of the fun.

“You seem off, babes,” Nari says, reaching over to touch your arm. “Are you okay?”

“Just tired.” You smile softly. “Didn’t sleep much on the plane.”

“Well, when we get home, I can make us some espresso martinis,” Nari winks. 

Before you can say anything else, a car honks behind you, making you jump. 

“We should get going,” Jaehyun says, reaching for the door to the driver’s passenger seat. “Don’t want to hold up the line.”

Instead of entering the car himself, Jaehyun looks at you pointedly. When you furrow your brows with confusion, he makes a small motion with his head, a motion that says ‘get in.’

While Nari hurries around the front of the car, you step closer to her brother. “You’re opening car doors for me now?”

“Just being chivalrous,” he grins.

You can feel his breath against your face, can see it in the cold air- he’s so close, his lips all perfect and pink and plump-

“Get in bitches, we’re going home!” Nari yells as she hops into the car.

And just like that, the spell is broken. You tear yourself away from Jaehyun, getting into the SUV while he closes the door behind you, taking his own seat in the back.

“Okay, so I know you’re only here for five days, but we still have to do all our Christmas traditions,” Nari says as she carefully pulls out of the terminal line. 

“All of them?” you squeak. You’d figured you’d do a few of the things you’ve been doing with Nari since high school, but the idea that you’ll do all of them? “Do we have the time?”

“Well, if we start tonight with a girls' night, we can bake cookies, have a sleepover, watch some Christmas movies, have our espresso martinis- and then tomorrow we can go skating. I’m pretty sure the Lee boys will be there, I bumped into Mark yesterday and he said he has to be on the ice every day, even during his break-”

“You’re still into Mark, huh?” Jaehyun laughs, leaning forward from the backseat to join the conversation.

“Of course.” Nari flips a long, dark, silky smooth strand of hair over her shoulder, eying her brother through the rearview mirror. “He’s literally adorable.”

“Sure he is,” her brother scoffs.

“Anyways, as I was saying,” Nari grabs your thigh, squeezing gently, “Mark said Jeno was flying in- I think last night? So if we go skating tomorrow, we could probably see them both, maybe get apple cider from the parking lot food truck together after a cute little double date-”

“Double date?” You can feel Jaehyun’s breath against your neck. “Since when are you both into Lee’s?”

“Since when are you joining in on girl talk?” Nari fires back at her brother. “Can’t you let us plan in peace?”

“I told you I’m not into Jeno anymore,” you say quietly, feeling your skin prickle under Jaehyun’s hard gaze as you address his sister. 

“Yeah, your whole long-distance thing- well, who says this has to be a relationship? We can have a bit of fun, can’t we?”

You and Jaehyun both sigh, and you hear the fratboy sit back in his seat, clearly exasperated.

“This is what happens when you join girl talk, Jae,” Nari scolds her brother. “If you don’t want to hear the juicy details, put some headphones on.”

“I’m fine with juicy details,” Jaehyun notes, “I just don’t like hearing about your random hook-up plans.”

“As if you wouldn’t hit on Irene if you saw her around town while you’re here,” Nari points out.

“Irene?” You perk up at the mention of the girl who used to be the cheerleading captain at your high school. She’s a year older than you, one year younger than Jaehyun- You swivel in your seat to address the man you’ve been sleeping with for two months. “You have a crush on Irene?”

“Oh my god, have you never heard this?” Nari practically wiggles in excitement. “Jaehyun was obsessed with her. Like- truly obsessed.”

“I was not-”

“You a hundred percent were!” Nari insists. “When Jae’s obsessed, he does this thing where he low key stalks the girl- like, looks at her location on Snapmaps and then just ‘happens’ to end up in the same place and bump into her-”

Your skin tingles. You’d known Jaehyun had used that tactic on you, but you hadn’t realized that it was a common theme of obsession for him. 

When you sneak a look over your shoulder at the fratboy, you find his entire face has turned pink. “Nari, stop-” he groans.

“I’ll stop if you stop,” his sister fires back.

“Fine, yeah, I won’t say anything,” Jaehyun sighs.

“Good!” Nari grins in triumph. “So as I was saying- if we do skating tomorrow, and make gingerbread houses the next day, we can get most of our traditions done before the Christmas eve party.”

“You know what?” You take a breath as the car comes to a stop at a red light. “It sounds like you have this whole thing planned, so let’s just do it. Whatever you want.”

“Really!?” Nari beams, turning to look at you.

“Uh huh,” you nod. “Whatever you want.”

“Eeee!” your best friend throws her arms around you, leaning over the middle panel to hug you tight.

“Nari, the road!” Jaehyun yells, hand grabbing at the shoulder of your seat.

“Right-” Nari pulls away from you, turning her attention back to driving. The light is green now, and she hits the gas just as the person behind you begins to honk. “I’m just so excited- girls' night!”

“More like girls' week,” Jaehyun sighs from behind you.

“And what about it!?” Nari grins. “Babes,” her attention shifts to you again, “we should do takeout tonight. I know your mom is probably going to cook, but I’ve been missing our pho place for literal months-”

Jaehyun perks up behind you. “The pho place down on Wayfare?” 

“As if there’s any other pho place,” Nari sasses.

“Shit, I could go for some of that too.”

“Then get it yourself, we’re discussing girl’s night, Jae. You’re not invited.”

You can’t help but grin to yourself at their bickering. 

Soon you’re pulling up in front of your houses. When Jaehyun takes your luggage out of the back, you grab the handle, offering him a small smile. “Thanks for this, I can take it from here.”

“Have fun tonight,” he tells you.

“With your sister? Always.” 

Five

You haven’t been on skates since last Christmas, and stepping onto the ice makes you wobbly. Nari grabs onto your arm, giggling at your antics. 

“Don’t make fun of me,” you tell her, although you’re grinning at your own ineptitude as well.

“I’m not,” she insists. “You’re adorable. Jeno’s gonna love this, it will give him an excuse to come hold your hand.”

“Jesus, I already told you I don’t want Jeno-” 

As the words escape your mouth, you catch sight of the Lee cousins. Mark is wearing blue jeans, a red crewneck and a beanie, his cheeks flushed. He’s grinning at the man next to him, the Lee Jeno in question.

Your sentence gets caught in your throat, because damn, even from across the rink, Jeno looks good. Unlike his colorful cousin, Jeno is in full black. Joggers and a hoodie, but even through the thick fabrics, the broad set of his shoulders is undeniable. 

Had everyone gotten hotter in the past few months? 

“Where did you say Jeno ended up going to uni again?” you ask.

Nari grins knowingly. “He went down south somewhere, a lacrosse scholarship, remember?”

Jeno had been a lean jock type in high school, but now, he looks like certified Angus beef, and you want to take a bite. 

You might call Jaehyun puppy these days, but if anyone embodies some good labrador retriever energy, it’s the two cousins who catch your eye and come skating over. 

Your heart begins to thunder in your rib cage, and suddenly, the winter jacket you’re wearing feels much too hot and heavy- or maybe that’s just you.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Nari beams, looking Mark up and down. “Didn’t think I’d see you again so soon.”

The hockey player gives your best friend a look, “I mean, I did tell you I’d be here every day, didn’t I?” 

You can see Nari begin to flounder next to you. “She mentioned Jeno would be in town, so I insisted we come today,” you say smoothly, catching the younger Lee’s eye. “I guess I was wondering how your lacrosse scholarship was going.”

“Yeah?” Jeno grins. “I can tell you all about it.” He holds his arm out to you, and with one final smile to Nari, you accept his offer, wobbling a little as you join Jeno and begin to skate around the rink. “Where should I start?”

“Wherever you want, I don’t know much about lacrosse.”

“Well…” Jeno takes a deep breath, and then he launches into a rundown of his team's wins and losses, giving all sorts of details and using lingo that you can hardly keep track of. It’s the most you can do to watch your footing and not slip while latched onto his large bicep.

In the periphery, you can hear Nari and Mark chatting behind you. You’re happy she’s finally getting some time with her crush, even if it means you have to take one for the team and entertain Jeno… although, he’s doing a pretty good job entertaining himself.

“Anyways,” Jeno sighs, “enough about me, how has your first term been treating you?”

“It’s been great!” you smile. “I love my classes, my teachers are very good at what they do-”

“How about your personal life? New friends, boyfriends-” Jeno trails off.

You find yourself giggling. “Wow, Jeno, that was smooth.”

His ears turn pink, and he adjusts your hand on his arm, pulling you closer. “I’ll take that as a no?”

“You should take it as a… it’s complicated.”

“Most things are,” Jeno nods. “But they don’t have to be.”

“They don’t?”

“Sometimes it can be as simple as I think you’re hot, you think I’m hot, lets see what happens.” 

“Is that what you want?” you ask. “To see what happens between us?”

“I’m definitely curious about it… and I feel like you are too.”

You open your mouth to say something, and that’s when you catch sight of Jaehyun. He’s leaning by the opening to the rink, arms crossed over his chest. The white cardigan he has on was a Christmas present from his mother last year, and his jeans are black. He looks extremely striking, as always, and he’s staring right at you, a smirk on his lips.

“I uh…” you swallow thickly, considering letting go of Jeno’s arm-

Behind you, Mark’s voice gets louder. “You really think you can skate faster than me?”

“We should race,” Nari insists.

“You’re so on.” 

A moment later, the two are whipping by you and Jeno, giggling like children. The distraction makes Jeno perk up, and you feel his muscles flex under your fingers.

“You should join them,” you suggest, seeing it as your only easy way out of this situation.

“Are you sure? Won’t you fall?”

“I’ll be okay,” you insist. “Seriously, I know you want to.”

“You’re the best,” Jeno grins. And then he does something you never would have expected him to do. He leans down and presses his lips to your cheek.

As suddenly as he’d made his move, he’s darting off, and you’re left shocked in his wake.

You freeze where you are, and then you begin to wobble. Your skates slip on the ice and your arms fly out, trying to help you balance-

But it’s no use, after a few seconds of sliding around, you begin to fall backward-

Strong arms catch you, and you find yourself clutched to Jaehyun’s chest while he looks down at you. “Hey, Angel.”

“Puppy-” you gasp, clinging tightly to his woven cardigan. 

He helps you straighten, only to pull you tighter to his body, leaning forward so his lips brush by your ear when he says, “I wanna kiss you so fucking bad.” 

“Jae-”

“It’s only fair, isn’t it? Jeno just got to kiss your cheek, why can’t I?”

“We can’t do this here-”

“You’re right,” he nods, pulling away from you, “let's go somewhere private.”

Your whole body is alight with tingling energy. You’re drawn to Jaehyun like a moth to a flame, and it takes every ounce of your self-control to pull away from him- although, you latch onto his arm a moment later when you begin to slip again.

“Puppy,” you say in a hushed tone, “we talked about this.”

“We never talked about Jeno flirting with you in front of me,” Jaehyun points out, beginning to lead you toward the wall of the ice rink where you’ll be able to grab the ledge for support. 

“I’m sorry about that.”

“It’s not your fault. He has to learn his place.”

“God, you’re so jealous,” you laugh. Your best friend’s brother doesn’t usually act this way, at his frat, everyone knows you’re his, no one would dare come near you- but here, in your hometown, surrounded by past crushes and would be romancables, it’s open season, and it’s clear that it’s making Jaehyun uncomfortable. 

“I’m protective,” he corrects you. 

You make it to the edge of the rink and you grab onto the side, steadying yourself and turning to look out at the ice. Mark is easy to spot in his red crewneck, making a fast lap with Nari and Jeno quick on his heels. God, you’d really held them all up with your wobbly skating.

“They look like they’re having fun,” Jaehyun notes, following your gaze.

“Yeah, Nari’s always been good on the ice.”

Jaehyun laughs. “That’s what five years of figure skating will do to you.” 

“I wouldn’t be able to stand it, my feet are already hurting from these skates and I just got here.” 

“I could always offer to take you home, we could get some alone time.” Jaehyun moves closer to you, and it takes everything for you to not lean against his shoulder. 

“I’d love to, but-”

“But this is girl’s time,” he finishes your sentence for you. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Jaehyun sighs. “Nari has missed you. I don’t blame her for that.”

A minute later, your best friend stops in front of you with the Lee boys in tow. “Ready for another go around the rink?” she asks.

“I’m just slowing you guys down, maybe I should just… stand here,” you suggest.

“I’ll keep her company,” Jaehyun smiles, and you don’t miss the way his eyes shift to Jeno, who straightens under his gaze. 

“Or we could go grab some apple cider from the food truck,” Jeno pipes up. “Mark and I have been here a while, I’m done with skating if you are.” 

Nari looks at you, then at Mark, then to Jeno- you’re not really sure how to respond yourself.

“Apple cider sounds perfect right now,” Jaehyun says smoothly. “It will be my treat. But hey, Nari, I know you love skating, how about you stick around here with Mark for a while? Looked like you two were enjoying yourselves.”

“Uh… I mean, if that’s okay with you?” Nari reaches out for your hand. “We’ll do a few more laps then we can come join?”

“Whatever you want,” you nod, squeezing her fingers gently. 

“Okay, well,” a grin appears on her face and she sneaks a glance at Mark before looking at you and her brother again, “I guess we’ll meet you in the parking lot.”

As she and the hockey player dart away, you push off from the wall, only to begin wobbling. Two sets of steady hands grab your arms and you find yourself squished between Jeno and Jaehyun.

“Easy there, angel,” Jaehyun breathes.

Jeno tightens his grip on you but doesn’t say anything, and they help you off the ice. 

You can feel the tension in the air, and it only gets thicker as you try to find somewhere to sit to take off your skates amongst the young families all lacing up to get in the rink. It’s Jaehyun who nabs you a seat, insisting you’re the first to get your skates off. But he doesn’t stop there, as you struggle with the tight knots, Jaehyun gets down on a knee, brushing your hands aside.

“Looks like Nari did these up for you, huh?” he muses with a grin on his face.

“Yeah, something about tight laces for ankle safety,” you huff, leaning back and allowing him to do the work.

Jaehyun opens his mouth to respond to you, but Jeno beats him to it. “So you two are pretty close, huh?”

You exchange a look with your best friend’s brother. “Well, I mean- we grew up together,” you point out.

“Right, neighbors, I forgot about that.” Jeno nods to himself. “And you’re at the same uni now?”

“Yup,” Jaehyun says flatly, pulling your first skate off while you let out a sigh of relief. 

“See much of each other?” the lacrosse player asks. 

“In passing,” you lie, and it makes Jaehyun smirk to himself as he continues to your second skate. 

Jeno doesn’t question you further, and as soon as you’re free of the torture devices that had been strapped to your feet, you dart to the skate counter to retrieve your shoes, leaving the two alpha males to their own devices. 

When Jaehyun and Jeno find you again, they’re chatting easier now- some shared love for a sports team. It allows you some reprieve as you all head outside and get in line at the food truck. 

It’s odd to be in a situation like this. Two gorgeous, beefy, tall men on either side of you- this would have been a dream of yours back in high school, but now, it falls oddly flat. 

Mark and Nari join you by the time you make it to the front of the line, and Jaehyun buys a round of apple ciders despite the Lee cousins protesting. “It’s the least I could do for the guys who entertained these two goofballs before I showed up,” Jaehyun insists, nudging his sister playfully.

The conversation quickly returns to sports, and Nari pulls you aside. “So…” she grins. “How was Jeno time?”

“How was Mark time?” you counter. 

“He’s just as cute and sweet as I remember,” Nari practically swoons. “I’m so happy Jaehyun decided to cockblock you and not me- but Jeno likes you, I’m sure of it.”

“Can we drop this whole Jeno thing?” you groan, eyes darting over her shoulder to the group of men who are still talking about football of all topics.

“He’s so hot though! Why are you being like this?” 

“I told you, I don’t want anything long distance.” and also I’m in love with your brother. 

Nari crinkles her nose with distaste. “You’re no fun.”

Your gaze shifts to Jaehyun, and he flashes you a small wink that makes your heart race in your chest. 

This whole thing is getting out of hand.

Six

It’s very hard to focus on your gingerbread house with Jaehyun hovering around the kitchen. He’s come and looked in the fridge about six different times, you’ve watched him down three beers, eat an orange cup, a few pieces of beef jerky, and then grab a bag of chips.

“Did you guys not have dinner or something?” you find yourself asking with a laugh.

“Huh?” Nari looks up from her immaculate creation, then swivels in her chair to eye her brother. “Actually, that’s a good question, why are you eating so much?”

“Are you two fat-shaming me?” Jaehyun questions before plopping more chips in his mouth. 

“Oh my god, Jae, fuck off-” Nari rolls her eyes.

The football player grins. “If you must know, I’m bulking. I’m allowed to bulk, aren’t I? I was at the gym for three hours this morning.”

“That doesn’t sound healthy,” Nari muses.

“Yeah? Well, look at these.” Jaehyun’s in a muscle shirt, and as he lifts his arms to flex, you find yourself beginning to drool. You have to tear your eyes off of him, your skin heating with excitement.

God, you want him so bad-

“Put your guns away, Jesus, neither of us want to see that!” Nari screeches. 

Jaehyun only grins, approaching the two of you at the dinner table. “Nice gingerbread houses.”

“We’re almost done,” Nari smiles, inspecting her perfect little edible art project. 

“What’s next for girl’s night?” Jaehyun asks, leaning over his sister’s chair.

“Christmas movies,” you respond, trying to focus on your own craft despite Jaehyun’s eyes being glued to you.

“Sounds fun.” 

You reach for your martini, and you can feel Jaehyun watching that too.

“How much have you guys had to drink?” Your best friend’s brother questions.

“Who are you? The party police? God, Jae, just leave us alone,” Nari groans.

“Fine, have it your way.” Jaehyun straightens again. “Just pace yourselves okay?”

You wonder, as the night continues, the motives behind Jaehyun’s warning. Nari generally does the opposite of what her brother asks her to do, and true to form, she ends up drinking much more than she’d initially planned.

By the time you settle into the living room to watch a movie, she’s hiccuping, her skin all flushed as she cuddles under a soft blanket. “Stupid Jaehyun,” she groans, “telling me not to drink. Who does he think he is?”

“He’s just watching out for us,” you sigh, scrolling through Netflix to find the movie you’d agreed on.

“Why’s he have to be such a big brother party pooper all the time?” Nari asks. “He’s so lame.”

You can’t help but smile. And you can’t agree with her either, a small sound of semi-affirmation is all you can muster. 

You’re not fifteen minutes into the movie when you hear soft footfalls behind the couch, and you turn to see Jaehyun leaning over you. “Hi,” he grins.

Your eyes dart to Nari, who is passed out in the corner of the couch. Alcohol has always made her sleepy, and you wonder if this was Jaehyun’s plan all along.

“Can I join you?” he asks. 

“As long as you don’t wake her up,” you whisper after a few moments of contention.

Jaehyun comes around the couch and you wiggle over to make room for him in the middle. He sits down carefully, allowing you to adjust the blankets over you both. His arm immediately falls around your shoulders, and you can’t help the sigh that slips out of you.

“Missed you,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Missed you too,” you admit.

His free hand finds your thigh under the blanket and you shift nervously. 

“Puppy-”

“Nari is asleep. We both know what happens when she drinks. She’s out cold, angel.” Jaehyun’s angled towards you now, his lips ghosting past your throat.

“What about your parents?”

“They’re at a Christmas party, they won’t be home till the AM.” He nuzzles your ear and the contact makes you shiver, turning slightly toward him while he parts your thighs. “Can I touch you?”

“You’re already touching me,” you breathe.

“You know what I mean.” His fingers toy with the waistband of your sweatpants. “Tell me to stop.”

You can only release a small sigh of pleasure as he kisses your throat again, abusing your sweet spot while his hand slips under your pants, bypassing your panties too.

“Fuck, angel, you’re already so wet,” he moans in your ear. “Such a dirty girl, letting your best friend’s brother touch you like this while she sleeps next to us.”

You hate that his words turn you on even more. Hate that your entire pussy tingles with interest, his index finger brushing over your clit and making your mind hazy. 

“Have you missed this as much as I have?” he asks.

“It’s been two days puppy, we’ve gone longer-”

“That’s not the point,” Jaehyun insists, slipping one digit into your tight pussy, stroking your aching walls while you struggle to hold your moans at bay. “It’s torture, being this close to you and having to pretend we’re not-” His voice catches, and his breath is hot against your skin.

“Not what?” you whimper.

“Not totally obsessed with each other,” he says finally, adding a second finger to work you open.

“Only one of us is obsessed, puppy.”

“Yeah? Your pussy says otherwise, angel. You’re practically dripping on my hand.” 

“Please-”

“Please what? Close already?” Jaehyun applies pressure to your clit with his palm, pumping his digits into you even harder.

“We can’t-” you swallow thickly. “I can’t-”

“Can’t what? Cum while Nari sleeps next to us? I’m sure you can angel, she never has to know, that’s what you keep saying, right?”

“Puppy,” you open your eyes, reaching up to cup his face. “The bathroom.”

Jaehyun pulls his hand from your pants immediately. “After you.” 

You catch him licking his fingers clean as you stand from the couch, careful not to wake Nari as you tiptoe to the bathroom down the hall, Jaehyun hot on your heels. 

You’re quick to turn the light and fan on, hoping to muffle any noise. The moment the bathroom door is closed and locked behind you, Jaehyun has you pressed against it. His lips are hot against your own and he quickly tugs your pants down to your knees. You try to thread your fingers through his hair only for him to capture your wrists, pinning them above you while his free hand slips between your legs again.

His digits slide into you easily, and your back arches, thighs twitching. “Fuck, puppy-” 

“I’ve missed watching you cum,” Jaehyun groans. “Wanna make you cum like this before I fuck you properly. You can do that for me, right? Cum on my fingers? I think I deserve it after having to watch you and Jeno yesterday.”

The mention of Jeno has your stomach twisting into knots, your orgasm building much too quickly as Jaehyun works you open, his palm firm on your clit.

“Come on, angel,” his grip on your wrist tightens, “I can feel you tensing up, just let go for me.”

You bite into your lower lip as you cum, your core throbbing while Jaehyun works you through it. You’re doing your best to muffle your own sounds but it’s difficult with the amount of pleasure coursing through you.

You can feel Jaehyun watching you intently, can feel his heavy breaths on your skin as his fingers thrust in and out of your gushing pussy.

“So fucking perfect,” he groans. 

“Puppy-” you whimper, desperation overtaking you.

“Yeah?”

“Fuck me? Please?” All your inhibitions have flown out the bathroom window. All you want now is Jaehyun. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Jaehyun grins. 

He lets go of your wrists and you move to the sink, lifting yourself up and onto it while Jaehyun works on his belt. Your skin tingles, your eyes fixed on the bulge pressing against denim. As soon as he’s pushed his pants down, releasing his aching cock, you’re grabbing at him to pull him close, lining him up with your core-

“Fuck!” Nari’s voice is loud on the other side of the door. “Oh my god, Y/N, open up!”

You freeze for a moment, but when loud banging begins, you jump into overdrive. 

You push Jaehyun away from you, hopping off the sink to pull up your sweatpants- “Get in the shower,” you whisper at him before turning your attention to the door, “One moment!” 

The next thing you do is flush the toilet, then turn on the faucet while Jaehyun clamors into the tub, still fumbling with his pants while you close the curtain. 

“Oh my God-” you hear again, and your heart thunders in your rib cage, realization overtaking you.

You unlock the door quickly, throwing it open just in time for Nari to stumble past you to the toilet. She sinks to her knees, a gagging sound filling the room as the consequences of her drinking are brought up. 

“Nari,” you sigh, immediately moving to grab her hair, pulling it away from her face while she pukes. 

There’s nothing else to be said, nothing else to be done while you take care of your best friend, her brother hiding in the shower with his cock probably still hard and aching. 

As things begin to settle for Nari a short while later, you stroke her back. “Feeling better?”

She nods, letting out a pitiful groan. 

“Do you want to stay in here? Or do you think we can go to the kitchen so I can grab you some water and crackers for your stomach?”

Nari takes a moment to consider it, and then she mumbles, “Kitchen.” 

You help her to her feet, supporting her out of the bathroom. When you reach the kitchen, you take her to the sink just in case anything else comes up, and you hurry to get her some water.

As you hand her the cup, Jaehyun stumbles into the kitchen. “Are you two okay? I heard noises.”

“She just had a little too much to drink,” you explain softly, still rubbing Nari’s back.

“Well, I hate to say it, but I told you to watch your liquor tonight,” Jaehyun grins.

Nari glares at her brother over the rim of her cup. “Fuck off and die.” 

Seven 

The Jeong family Christmas party is always one of the best nights of the year. You arrived early to help prep appetizers, and you’d been in the house not five minutes before Nari forced you into an ugly Christmas sweater - as per her family tradition.

Now, as the house is full of all sorts of people, you feel like an absolute mess with the stupid reindeer on your chest. Although, to be fair, Nari’s is even worse. And Jaehyun’s? Maybe the most hideous of them all- however, his handsome face is more than enough to make up for it.

Jaehyun’s clearly pent-up, and it’s obvious he doesn’t give a shit about your ugly Christmas sweater. He keeps looking at you as if he wants to throw you against the wall and fuck you stupid with the entire party watching, and you’ve done your best to avoid him all night.

It doesn’t help that Jeno and Mark have shown up, the hockey player distracting Nari and leaving you open to the younger Lee, who keeps finding excuses to start a conversation with you. 

“So when do you head back to uni?” Jeno asks, leaning closer as he nurses the beer in his hand.

“On the twenty-sixth.”

“Shit, in two days?”

“Uh huh.”

Jeno cocks his head to the side. “You couldn’t stay longer?” 

“I’m actually moving into my own place on January first, so I’ve gotta get home and pack and prep for classes next term, that sort of thing,” you explain.

“Sucks. It would have been nice to spend some more time with you.”

You notice then that his beer is empty, and instead of responding to his statement, you suggest getting him another round. When you move to the fridge, you find that all the Corona’s are gone, so you excuse yourself to grab more from the cooler out on the back deck, hoping for some reprieve.

It’s a cold night, your breath hanging in the air as you open the cooler, reaching down for the beer you need.

You hear the door open behind you, the noise of the party getting loud only for it to be muffled again when the door is shut once more. “I’ll just be a second,” you call, expecting it to be Jeno who’s followed you outside, however, when you turn, it’s not Jeno’s chest you bump into, it’s Jaehyun’s.

“Hey, angel.”

You let out a sigh, looking up at his handsome face. “Hi, puppy.” His arms wrap around you, and you let out a groan. “What are you doing?”

“It’s cold out here, I’m warming you up,” he insists, dimples on display as he grins. “Also, I found something inside.”

“Yeah? What did you find?”

Jaehyun reaches into his pocket, pulling out something small and green. “Mistletoe.” 

He doesn’t even bother holding it over your head, he simply cups the back of your head with one hand and draws your lips to his own. 

This is the worst place to be kissing Jaehyun. Anyone could open the door from the kitchen and find the two of you making out, but you also can’t say no to him anymore, not when your entire body is yearning for him in a way that you can’t even put into words.

You melt in his embrace, kissing him back. 

His tongue glides against your lower lip, and you open your mouth, accepting him into you while he releases a low groan, tugging you closer to his warm body. 

There’s a shattering sound inside, and a scream, then laughter, and the commotion causes you to pull away from Jaehyun, looking over his shoulder toward the door.

“We should go back inside,” you sigh.

“For Jeno to keep flirting with you?” Jaehyun scoffs. “I’m not a huge fan of that idea.”

“As if you weren’t talking to Irene earlier, don’t think I didn’t notice her arrive an hour ago.”

“There’s a difference between me and Irene, and you and Jeno.”

“Yeah? What’s that?” you laugh.

“I don’t give a fuck about Irene anymore, but with you and Jeno, I’m not so sure.”

Your heart tightens in your chest. “Jae-”

“Puppy,” he corrects you.

“Puppy,” you sigh, “there’s nothing between me and Jeno. I’ve been trying to avoid him all night.”

“Not as hard as you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Yeah, because you look at me like you want to bend me over the next horizontal surface and fuck me stupid!” you laugh.

“Are you a mind reader now, angel?” Jaehyun grins.

“Something like that,” you shake your head at his antics, patting his chest with your free hand. “Seriously, I’m getting cold, we should go inside.”

“Fine,” Jaehyun sighs, releasing you. “You can head in first, I’ll give it a minute before following.”

You can’t help but give him one final kiss, a kiss that lingers before you tear yourself away, brushing past him to enter the warmth of the house again.

Jeno is still standing in the kitchen, and you hold out a Corona as you approach. “Here.”

“Can I ask you something?” Jeno watches you add a few more beers to the fridge. 

“Of course.”

“When you said your love life is complicated… it’s Jae, isn’t it?” 

Your skin tingles as you close the fridge, turning to match Jeno’s gaze. “I uh-” You swallow thickly, looking around to make sure no one is listening before you lean in closer to the lacrosse player. “Was it that obvious?”

“No… and also sort of. There were signs, like, the way he just followed you outside, but I actually asked a friend about you,” Jeno admits.

“A friend?”

“Yeah, I uh, went to lacrosse summer camp with this dude for a few years, turns out he’s a pledge in Jaehyun’s frat. He confirmed things.”

“Which pledge?” 

“Promise he won’t get in trouble?” Jeno laughs.

“Cross my heart.”

“His name is Jaemin. He says you and Jaehyun have been a thing since the start of the year. He said it seemed pretty serious.” Jeno studies your face, and you’re not sure what he’s really looking for from you in regard to a response. “I guess… I guess I’m just wondering why you two aren’t open about it here, or at least, why you aren’t as open about it as you seem to be at the frats.”

“He’s my best friend’s brother,” you say quietly.

“You really think Nari would care about something like this?” Jeno asks.

“She’s very… competitive about my time,” you explain. “And as I said, this is her brother we’re talking about. Their relationship is… complicated”

“Most family dynamics are,” Jeno concedes. “But if you ask me, I don’t think she’d have that big of an issue with it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you sigh, although you’re not sure how well Jeno knows Nari.

“Listen, now that you’ve made it clear you’re into someone else, I’ll leave you alone,” Jeno says finally. “I didn’t mean to step on any toes.”

“You didn't,” you assure him. “How were you supposed to know about Jaehyun? It’s not your fault. No harm, no foul.”

“I mean, I did kiss your cheek, which feels pretty innocent, but looking back now- Jaehyun was totally watching when I did that,” Jeno laughs. 

“Okay, maybe there was a little harm,” you admit, joining him with a giggle, “but seriously, don’t worry about it. I’m the one who has to sort this whole Jae thing out, not you.”

“Good luck with it, really.” Jeno reaches out and gently squeezes your shoulder, offering you one more smile before he turns and disappears into the other room.

Nari finds you a short while later, explaining that the Lee cousins had left. She gives you a complete rundown on Mark while the two of you sip wine and giggle by the fireplace. Other people begin to dissipate as the night goes on, and soon, you find yourself heading to the door. 

Your best friend gives you a tight hug, and then you catch sight of her brother over her shoulder.

“Leaving already?” he asks.

“I’m pretty tired,” you admit.

“You can’t say goodbye without hugging at least two of the hosts, and seeing as our parents are in the kitchen discussing land equity, I guess that leaves you with me,” Jaehyun grins, holding his arms open for you.

“Jesus, Jae, you’re such a dog,” Nari rolls her eyes.

With a laugh, and a shake of your head, you step into Jaehyun’s embrace, hating how your body reacts to him. You’re aware of Nari standing just a few feet away, but you can’t help the way you lean closer to his ear. “Goodnight, puppy.”

Jaehyun’s body tenses slightly, and you pull out of the hug, offering him a small smile.

“Goodnight, y/n.” 

It feels weird to hear him actually call you by your name instead of calling you angel. 

You don’t like it, and the feeling sticks with you while you head next door to your own house.

After a quick hello to your mother, and an acknowledgment that your dad is still at the Jeong Christmas Eve party, you go upstairs, ready to go to bed. Only, as soon as you enter your room, your phone begins to ring, and you pull it from your pocket.

“Hey, puppy,” you laugh. “Miss me already?”

“Look out your window.”

Your gaze lifts, heart already picking up speed. 

Growing up with Jaehyun’s room directly across from your own had led to a few tense moments in your teens. One day, you’d seen him fresh from a shower, towel low on his hips- but other than a few near-naked moments, you’d done your best not to be a peeping tom. It’s interesting to have him directing you to be nosey, and you approach the window with your phone held tight in your hand.

Jaehyun’s standing in his room, and he waves his fingers at you. “I didn’t think we’d be reduced to this,” he admits, “but fuck it, if this is the only way I can have you tonight, then I guess phone sex is my new best friend.”

“Phone sex, huh?” you laugh. 

“You got to cum with me yesterday, but I didn’t, and I’m feeling it, angel.” As if to prove his point, Jaehyun’s free hand slides down his chest to his pants, and he grips his cock through the fabric. “You’re making me crazy.”

“I’m not doing anything, puppy. You’re the one being insatiable. I’m just a good girl in her bedroom while her neighbor watches and touches himself.” 

“I shouldn’t be the only one having fun though,” Jaehyun says, and you can hear his breathing getting heavier already while he palms himself through his pants. “How about you lift that stupid fucking reindeer sweater and show me those tits I love so much?”

“Yeah? Is that really what you want, puppy?” You grab the hem of the ugly sweater, slowly lifting it to reveal a strip of your abdomen. 

“Fuck, why haven’t we been doing this every night since we got here?” Jaehyun groans, stepping closer to his window to get a better look at you.

“We’ve been busy,” you remind him, allowing the fabric to drop down again. “I’m actually pretty tired-”

“If we don’t do this on the phone, I’ll be forced to come over there, explain to your mother that you’re my evasive little tease of a fuck toy, and rail you in your bedroom.”

The thought makes your pussy throb with desire. “We can’t have that, now can we?”

“So be a good girl, angel, and take off your sweater.”

“Take off yours,” you counter.

Jaehyun doesn’t waste a moment, he tears the fabric off his body, muscles rippling under unblemished skin. 

Fuck, you’ve missed him too, but you haven’t allowed yourself to acknowledge just how much you’ve missed him until this very moment. 

You follow suit, taking off the ugly Christmas sweater.

“Bra too,” he says, voice husky as his hand returns to his cock.

Unlike Jaehyun, you haven’t mastered the art of removing your bra with one hand, so you put your phone on speaker and set it on the windowsill. You’re slow with your motions, flashing your best friend’s brother a flirty grin as you reach behind your back. 

“Fuck-” he groans, watching one strap slip off, then the other. As you drop the bra to the floor, Jaehyun pulls down his pants, and your mouth begins to water at the sight of his cock.

You wish you were closer to him, wish you could see the pretty vein that runs along the underside of his dick-

“I want you in my mouth, puppy,” you admit.

“Angel-” Jaehyun moans, wrapping his hand around his girth. 

“Wanna suck you off till you see stars,” you continue, reaching up to grab your breasts, teasing your fingers over your nipples, and letting out a shaky breath.

“I wanna eat you out till your thighs are shaking around my head and you’re squirting all over my tongue.”

You immediately fumble with your pants, pushing them down around your ankles and then your panties too. 

“Tell me how wet you are,” Jaehyun commands as you bring your digits to your clit, swiping through your pussy lips to collect the moisture there.

“I’m drenched, puppy, and I’ve been drenched since that kiss we had by the cooler outside.” 

“You should’a let me fuck you,” he says smugly.

“Puppy-”

“I know, I know.” You hear him swallow thickly. “Rub your clit for me, and don’t be gentle. I’m way too horny to last- had a wet dream about you last night and I can’t get you out of my head.”

“Tell me about the dream?” you urge, applying pressure to the sensitive bud between your thighs.

“We were back in my room at the frat,” he starts. “No one was gonna bug us. No sisters or pledges. Just you and me. I took my time with you, letting you grind on my thigh in your sweatpants till you were begging for me to get you naked and do whatever I wanted to you.”

“And then?”

“Stripped you, got between your thighs, made you scream, made you cry and drool and say please-” You can see his hand picking up speed on his cock, and your pussy throbs as you work your clit. “Finally gave you my cock, folded you like a fucking pretzel, and gave you everything you wanted.”

You slip a digit into your pussy, releasing a frustrated groan. 

“I know that sound, angel. What? Fingers not big enough for you?” Jaehyun laughs.

“Nothing is big enough except your cock,” you whimper, quickly adding a second. 

“True, but you’ll still cum for me, right? I wanna watch you cum.”

You bring your second hand to your clit, and the moment you touch it, electric tingles erupt across your skin.

His dirty talk - as well as the fact that you haven’t fucked him in a few days - has you close to the edge already. 

“I wanna watch you cum too,” you tell him. “Wish you were cumming inside me though, filling me up just right-”

“Fuck, that perfect fucking pussy squeezing me for all I’m worth-”

“Puppy,” you whimper, feeling your emotions building with your orgasm.

“Yeah, angel, I’m there too- gonna be good and cum with me, right? Gonna let me watch you as you fuck yourself with your fingers wishing it was my cock inside you-”

“Jae-”

“Puppy, call me puppy, angel- fuck,” he groans loudly and the sound goes straight to your core, which pulses around your fingertips. 

You can’t hold off any longer, your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks. A strangled gasp escapes you, your eyes closing, head falling back as white-hot energy surges through you.

Jaehyun releases his own sound of pleasure, panting hard on the other end of the line. Muffled moans and whimpers ensue as you work yourselves through your highs, your body aching for Jaehyun to be there with you instead of in his room next door.

As your orgasm passes, you slowly come to a stop, opening your eyes again to stare at your best friend’s brother. He’s already wiping away his cum with a tissue, and he flashes you a wink. 

In retaliation for the flush that immediately consumes you from such a small act, you take your fingers from your pussy, lifting them to your lips.

“Jesus, angel,” Jaehyun moans, his motions coming to a stop as he watches you. 

“Bet you can’t wait to taste me again, puppy.”

“I can still come over.”

“Not a chance in hell.”

“It was worth a shot, though, huh?” he laughs.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.”

“You don’t wanna stay on call? Maybe Facetime while you fall asleep or something?”

“I’ve gotta shower-”

“Take your phone with you.”

It’s so hard to say no to him, so you don’t. 

His eager encouragements and filthy mouth help you cum two more times - once in the shower and once in bed - before you finally pass out while on Facetime with the man who owns your heart.

Eight

Nari knows you well. Better than almost anyone, and because of this, gift-giving with her is always easy. She gets you a box set of your favorite perfume before opening the present you’d gotten for her (skincare from her favorite Korean brand). 

As you settle onto her couch afterward, however, you realize just how well she knows you.

“So… what’s going on with you and Jae?”

“Hmm?” You nearly choke on your wine.

“You called him puppy last night.” You stare blankly at her. “As you were leaving. At first, I thought it had to do with me calling him a dog right before that, but… I don’t know, it felt too natural, and he seemed way too happy and smiley afterward.”

“I didn’t uh…” you swallow thickly, “I didn’t realize you’d heard that.”

“I bet you didn’t,” Nari shakes her head knowingly. “The more I thought about it, the more everything seemed to be natural between the two of you. Him helping you with your bags when I picked you up from the airport, him buying us all apple cider at the rink- the way he helped you on the ice. Even the way he hung around while we did our gingerbread houses. There’s something between you two, isn’t there? You guys are too natural together for there not to be something.”

“I mean… he’s your brother-”

“And he’s annoying, and lame, and a loser- but if you can look past all that, well… he’s a good guy at heart. And I’ve always wanted you to end up with a good guy.”

You can’t believe the words coming out of Nari’s mouth.

“There is something,” Nari states after your silence lasts a moment too long. 

“Nari, I wanted to tell you-”

“I get why you didn’t, but seriously, fuck that, tell me everything!” 

You’re shocked that she’s practically wiggling with excitement. As if this isn’t her older brother you’re talking about.

“What do you want to know?” you ask finally.

“When did it start? How did it start? Is he actually good to you? Does he stalk you on snapmaps?”

Her flurry of questions are almost too much to keep track of, and you set your wine glass down to get your bearings. “He’s good to me,” you admit. “Almost too good- and yeah, he still stalks me on snapmaps.”

“That creep!” Nari laughs. “So he’s like obsessed obsessed.” 

“I guess so.” Your skin heats at the admission.

“You know what, I can’t believe I’m saying this but you two are kind of cute together. But, if he breaks your heart, you get me in the divorce and I’ll disown him.”

You giggle at how serious Nari is about this. “Deal.”

As the word leaves your mouth, the back door opens and Jaehyun trudges inside, a bundle of wood in his arms. There’s snow in his pretty dark hair, and his cheeks are pink from the cold. He looks up and flashes you both a smile as he kicks off his boots. “Thought you guys might want to get the fireplace going today so I chopped some provisions.”

All week, you’ve been hiding your affection for this absolute puppy of a man, but you don’t have to do that anymore.

You stand from the couch, smiling warmly at him. “She knows, puppy.”

“She knows?” he repeats, freezing in place. He looks from you to his sister, then back at you again. 

A huge smile appears over his face and he drops the firewood, practically running at you, hopping over the couch and nearly whacking Nari in the process only to wrap his arms around you and pull you into a tight hug. He spins you around the Jeong family living room, burying his face in your hair.

“We don’t have to hide anymore!” he yells in your ear.

“No more hiding,” you agree as he sets you down, only to cup your face and kiss you deeply. Your skin flares at the realization that you’re doing this in front of his sister, but Jaehyun doesn’t seem to have a care in the world.

When he breaks away from you, he turns to Nari, grinning triumphantly. “This is my girlfriend!”

“Wait, you two are like, official official?” Nari asks.

“We are now,” Jaehyun states, but he falters, turning to you. “We are, right?”

“Yes, puppy, I’ll be your girlfriend,” you laugh.

He kisses you again, grinning the whole time, and you can’t help but smile as well. 

“Fuck, you two are really cute,” Nari groans. 

“This is the best Christmas present ever,” Jaehyun announces.

Nari rolls her eyes. “I’m not gifting you my best friend! Jesus, Jaehyun, get a life!” 

“She’s my gift, no takebacks,” your puppy boyfriend insists, staring at you with stars in his eyes.

“You know what, we always did say we wanted to be sisters,” Nari sighs. “I guess we can officially welcome you to the Jeong’s now.”

“We’re not getting married-” you protest.

“Not yet, anyways,” Jaehyun quips, earning an elbow to the ribs. 

“Yeah! Put him in his place!” Nari cheers. 

Jaehyun holds you closer, bringing his lips to your ear. “Does this mean I can take you upstairs and fuck you now?”

“Fucking hell-” Nari squeals, “do neither of you know how to whisper?! I did not need to hear that!”

“Then you should find some headphones, because this one can be kind of loud.” Jaehyun pokes your stomach and you slap his hand away.

“Fine, shit,” Nari rolls her eyes, “look, as your best friend,” her eyes find yours, “I’ll give you half an hour to fuck my brother before I demand you come back downstairs for our usual Christmas festivities, deal?”

Before you can even answer, Jaehyun is throwing you over his shoulder. “Deal!”

☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! I was feeling in the Christmas spirit, and I thought Jae would be so good for this :)

🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 

🔮 preview. “Oh, we’re a hundred percent fucking at the Jeong family Christmas party. I’ve been needing you since dinner, angel. You won’t make me wait any longer, will you?”

cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, deep throating, oral, pussy eating, multiple orgasms, soft/romantic sex, dirty talk, mutual orgasm, praise, quickie, slight exhibitionism (fucking upstairs at a party),  I petnames. (hers) angel (his) puppy.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3k I teaser wc. 200

🌙 staring. Jaehyun x afab!Reader

bonus

“Ya’ll are like a pair of fucking wild animals,” Nari whispers as she takes her seat between you and Jaehyun at the dining table while her parents prepare to bring food from the kitchen for your meal. “You can’t keep your hands off each other for ten minutes to eat a family dinner together- I thought the honeymoon phase was supposed to last a few months and it’s been over a fucking year.”

No one is more shocked than you are that you find yourself at the Jeong house for a second Christmas in a row while still completely enthralled with the oldest Jeong sibling. As supportive as Nari has been, it’s clear she’s salty about her brother getting much of your attention these days, and you can’t say you blame her for that.

This Christmas, you’re spending a week and a half in your hometown, and Jaehyun’s been trying to monopolize on your time with a fire that rivals even his sister’s. 

“You don’t have to sit between us, you know,” Jaehyun quips.

“I think the fuck I do,” Nari retorts with a snort. “This is a PG dinner with our parents you whore.”

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[theobsessedcookiefan]

Oh oh I have a good one what if y/n cookies was lover of the five beast and they see them get corrupted as how is they reaction seeing them crying broken heart saying please please please PLEASE give him/her back give me back my beloved cookie of volition/ knowledge/change/ happiness/ solidarity I want them back to me I’m will do anything just please turn back to normal

NOOO.. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Alr, I'll do it bc I like to torture myself and y'all need to suffer with me 😠😠😠

I'm going to make different names for the pre-corrupted beasts!! Bc I seriously doubt they were named that way before 😓😓

I read somewhere that Burning Spice was called Warming Spice before?? I'm not sure tho- but I'll use that name!! I'll try to be original in the names but if it gets too close to other names that other people give them then I'm so sorry bc I probably saw it and don't remember 😓😓😓

Ohboyitendeduplongerthanexpected

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Life is a bitch sometimes, it can give you everything you ever desired and take it back in an instant, were you too egotistical? Did you broke the universe balance by being too happy? Maybe it wasn't fair, you lived happily with the best Cookies you've ever met, compassionate, heroic and righteous, the whole package if you could say so, and they loved you oh so much, so much that they would sacrifice everything for your well-being and happiness, to protect your smile; the prettiest smile they've ever seen.

You remember when it started, the first warning came that damned week, you, Blueberry Milk and Saccharine Sugar were helping the locals to make a new orphanage, having a gift exchange game for the kids, at one moment the adults had to bring the food from the first location and left the kids with both of you, they were quite the handful if you were being honest but what could you expect from little cookies? You decided that maybe a little game would calm them down, but you were so busy, not noticing that your partners were getting stressed, when you came back with everything to play you saw half the kids laying down in the ground, obviously you panicked, trying to see if they were breathing or not but thank the divines they were only asleep. When you found the other you saw quite the scene, Saccharine Sugar was playing a melody with her harp and Blueberry Milk was helping the kids to lay down more comfortable in the floor, once he saw you she shook her a bit, she blinked and the music stopped, making the kids wake up, it wasn't that bad but you still told them not to do that again. If only you could've been there when they got the idea..

The second warning came at a perfect afternoon in White Flour's temple, it had been a busy day for her, many cookies came searching for her to make their wishes reality, she seemed extremely tired after all that work so you offered your lap for her to rest her head on, she ended up telling you about how greed changed some of them, how many of them wanted money and gems, it was disappointing really. If only you reassured her that that money could be used for helping people..

The third sign was the fights between Sea Salt and Warming Spice, those two had always been close and used to spar to improve their fighting skills so you were used to it, but that day it ended up with both of them badly injured, you remember running to stop the reddish cookie from using the sharp end of the blade, your worried expression and tone of voice seemed to snap them both of some kind of trance and so you told them to go directly to the healer of the village. If only you were there with them when they fought again..

Then it all faded to chaos, maybe they realized they held all that power or grew bored of the routine? Either way you remember standing in front of a destroyed village, cookie's screams sounding everywhere, it was such a horrible vision, you couldn't even start to comprehend what happened, that was until you heard that melodic voice, it was Saccharine Sugar! Was she hurt too? The virtues were the heroes of the village, they obviously fought against whatever destroyed right? Right..?. Without other thought in mind you ran to where her voice could be heard and what you saw was horrifying, her wings were creating big gusts of wind that were destroying the houses around and she was laughing at it.. She was actually enjoying it. It couldn't be! She was the most gentle of the five, she couldn't find pleasure in hurting others could she? No, not your Saccharine Sugar, not her. You ran towards her extending your hand to try and reach her, she didn't expect you to appear so the wind stopped and you were able to hug her, thing that surprised her.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Please.. Please stop, we can find a solution for this, just stop, we can rebuild the village, I know they'll forgive you, just stop please."

It was a desperate plea more than anything else, but she didn't respond, her face expressionless and soon everything faded to black for you.

When you woke up you didn't recognize the place you were in, that was until you looked up, it was night time already? You could've sworn it was afternoon before.. Before.. Oh no, without thinking it twice you got up as quickly as you could, starting to run, trying to see if you could identify the place you were in, you ran for a while until you found one of the villagers hiding behind a barn, a barn? Oh! You were on that area, you got closer to the Cookie hiding and they told you how the virtues started to destroy everything they saw, how many of the villagers didn't survive the chaos and how the remaining were trying to escape but every entrance to the village was guarded by one of them, that was good, at least you knew where your partners were now, you thanked the villager, telling them to hide inside the barn instead and that you would stop the virtues. Oh how wrong you were.

You found them? Yes of course you did, they were guarding the entrances like that villager said, but they were different, not only their appearance but their personality, you remember trying to get to each one of them, pleading for them to stop this madness;

"Please, don't you see you're hurting others? You're supposed to protect them! We can still fix this!"

"If you continue with this you'll only get far away from yourself, please come back, I'll talk to everyone and try to make them understand what happened!"

"I know you care about them, you're not as apathetic as you act, I promise we can solve this together! Just please.."

"Come on.. This is just cruel and you know it! Your plays are supposed to bring others joy, not pain!"

It didn't work, at the end they just looked at you as if they didn't had any idea what you were talking about, as if this was what they were meant to do. Maybe they couldn't be saved? Maybe they were supposed to end like this? Probably, maybe this was what the witches wanted all along..

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[amourtoken]

a thought: cnc primal as fuck noah

maybe u went on a cute little walk by yourself through the forest… but it ends with him ‘stumbling across you’ on your walk and chasing you through the forest until he catches you, throws you on the ground or against a tree and then absolutely fucking destroys you w his cock 😌

(he obviously has the mask on btw)

((help it’s 7am why am i like this))

Ive been thinking abt this for fucking days bc holy shit???? I love him???? Sorry if I got carried away w this one I intended for it to be short and it is not bc the worms in my brain took over 😌

He's bigger, much stronger and way faster than you. It's honestly cute that you really thought you had a chance at outrunning him In the first place which is why he agreed to the scene anyway.

You'd nearly begged for him to give in and participate in this new kink of yours and he's happy to but he's gonna do it in his own way. He probably waits a few weeks just so it's not as fresh in your mind to actually set the whole thing in motion.

He kept up with your schedule for a while, he wanted to catch you at your most off guard moment possible and he was sure he found that when you were out for a walk like usual these past few days since the weather had taken a nicer turn. You'd pretty much forgotten your whole agreement with Noah by now so that's why it was such a shock when you were literally lifted off your feet with a hand over your mouth.

You probably would've heard the extra footsteps behind you if you hadn't had headphones in but he knew you weren't the most spatially aware person alive and that helps in this situation (he's gonna give you a whole lecture about being more careful once this is over, trust.)

You tried your best to squirm in his hold but you really weren't making much progress, especially when your face was pressed up against the rough surface of a nearby tree so Noah could drag your athletic shorts down your legs. His free hand held your arms behind your back and pressed you firmly against the tree, you were fighting for your life but it took him essentially no effort to keep you still, pathetic on your part but it's not your fault he's so strong.

He nudged your legs further apart with one of his and really couldn't help but admire you for a moment. Even in a harsh scene you're still the prettiest person alive to him but he has a goal here. You whined when you felt him brush the tip of his cock against your pussy, aside from the fact you had no prep at all you were on a trail where literally anyone could pass by at any time and it made your knees even weaker.

"Really? Dripping for me and I haven't even touched you. You're supposed to be scared of me, yknow?"

"Need dick so bad you'll just let anyone fuck you raw anywhere? Such a slut."

"Such a dumb little whore, you should really be more careful out here. Maybe this'll teach you, yeah?"

Noah's hand over your mouth barely muffled the sounds that fell from your lips when he actually filled you up, you almost forgot you were supposed to be playing along. The stretch of his cock always left a pleasant ache, it felt like he radiated through your entire body. The rough texture of the tree in front of you was making your eyes water while he held you against it, every thrust pushing you forward. At this point you didn't even mind, the feeling of him brushing your cervix was fogging up your brain anyway.

"gonna fuckin' cum- ah- gonna fill this pretty pussy up- tell me you fucking want it, wanna hear you beg for it-"

he always gets so talkative when he's near his end, again he nearly forgets he's supposed to be playing along as well. The hand over your mouth moves to your throat, making your voice hoarse as you follow his request of begging him to cum inside you. He was squeezing tight enough to make little black spots flit around the corners of your vision and it only got worse when he slid a hand between your legs to force you to your end as well.

It didn't take very long to have you teary eyed and shaking as you came undone on his dick, and he followed shortly after. He didn't linger, pulling out of you and sticking around just long enough to watch his cum drip down your legs before disappearing down the trail again. You were left half naked and trembling, heart still racing while you tried to re dress before anyone could see you.

(If I were more awake I could rewrite this to be rougher so expect to see a pt. 2 shortly)

[sweetbbyshion]

-> Kitten

Touya Todoroki (Dabi) x Reader (no pronouns used)

characters: Touya Todoroki (Dabi)

genre: fluff

summary: you decided to adopt a kitten and dabi isn't sure if he likes it

warnings: established relationship, just very fluffy

Dabi is not an animal person. If he was he would have a dog, maybe a lion (not like it would be possible nor he would actually want one) but Dabi just doesn't feel the need to own a pet.

You, on the other hand, decided to adopt the tiniest kitten, so small on his big scarred hand. It’s honestly quite ugly in Dabi’s eyes. You proudly announce that the ugly looking cat is your new daughter, Tuna. Dabi wants to argue why you would name it like that but he decides to let you enjoy your moment. Your boyfriend doesn't expect to be very present in the cat's life and settles for watching you from afar.

“She looks just like you.” you coo, taking pictures of Dabi holding the fur ball.

“Are you calling me ugly?”

“Of course not! She's the prettiest baby.” you smile at the cat, talking with an annoying baby voice.

“Where did you even find it? The trash?” The look you send Dabi’s way is scary enough to make him shut up. After years of dating you, Dabi mastered the art of shutting up when you give him the look. He turns his eyes to the thing meowing loudly on his hand. He doesn't know how long he will put up with it.

It takes a few weeks for Dabi to get used to the cat’s presence. He feels like he already made a mortal enemy. Tuna is still small but her meowing sure is loud, always trying to get your attention when you are too entranced in Dabi. He swears on his life that the little fucker smirks at him every time you stop cuddling him to pick her up from the floor and rest her against your chest. So Dabi does what every adult man would do - he shows the competition that he is the favorite. Whenever the two of you go to the bedroom, Dabi makes sure to lock the door behind him, stopping the cat from entering. But after five minutes the little fur ball will start meowing loudly and you will get up to get it and bring it to bed. Tuna always lays by your side, preventing Dabi from getting close to you and holding you. Not to say that the tiny thing pisses everywhere but you only softly scold it before showing the way to the litter box, leaving Dabi to clean it.

So yes, Dabi hates a small kitten that can't even go down the stairs alone.

Either way, you choose to ignore the one-sided (though Dabi would argue otherwise, the cat definitely knows what she’s doing) fight and force Dabi to spend time with the cat. “You two need some bonding time.” you had argued while placing the cat on Dabi’s lap before leaving the house. Your boyfriend simply stares at the cat before awkwardly petting it. “Your fur is kind of soft, it's cool.” he caught himself speaking to the cat. He puts the cat down and goes to his room before he starts going crazy. There's no way he’ll become one of those people who talk to cats. When he's halfway up the stairs, Tuna’s meow catches his attention. He looks back and sees the cat trying to climb the stairs, still struggling a bit. Dabi sighs, weighs his options, and decides to go back and pick up the cat to bring it up the stairs. However, Tuna follows him like a baby duck to the bedroom and sits by his foot when he sits on the desk chair and turns on his computer. Tuna decides the game he's about to play is interesting so she sticks her claws on Dabi’s sweatpants and dangles on his leg, failing to climb. Dabi sighs again and carefully grabs the cat to place her on his lap. She makes herself comfortable, promptly falling asleep on his lap. Dabi catches himself smiling at the scene as he plays a random game on his computer, careful not to wake the cat up. And if you get home and coo at the scene, he pretends to hate every moment of it. But you can tell the way his eyes soften as he looks back at the kitten to make sure she's still asleep.

[grapecaseschoices]

OC in 15: Kendis Crawford-Louel

rules: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture the character/personality/vibe of the OC. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you're free to include those as well!

I was tagged by @deepinifhell and am woefully delayed in getting on this.

Tagging: @thedeadthree @thee-morrigan @nat-seal-well @nightingalesighs @laufire @lusavors @cypresswrites @thelittlestspider @mt07131 @roxaro @quaxorascal @tuomniia @andthatisnotfake @sunshineandviolets @sapphic-story [tagged fifteen peeps! i think! and as always no pressure!]

Most of the dialogue from old rp stuff repurposed for this meme, some from unposted stuff, and a few I made up for this. (As warning: some cussing)

-----

1] However, strangeness of the situation proves that the metal gates aren’t fully down around the castle, because she bites out, bluntly, “No! No. I’m not okay.” Her breath hitches. “Don’t. D-don’t follow that up with another question. I thought we talked about this.”

By ‘we’ and ‘talked’, she meant the time she summarily shut down his last attempt to dig deeper. It should’ve been obvious by now that Kendis didn’t like accepting what they insisted on dishing out.

-

2] "Yook, Kenny, yook!"

"What'm I lookin' at, teeny tyke? --- Well, now. Look at that! Is that me? In fact, I know that's me. That's the second prettiest person in this entire art of prettiness. And is the one right next to me you? It's got to be 'cause that's definitely the prettiest person in this."

"You siwwy, Kenny. Boys not be pretty!"

"Am I? Well, if you're sayin' that's right then I'll consider it. But being silly doesn't mean I'm wrooooong~. Boys can be very pretty, kiddo. People can be whatever they wanna be so long as they're --- kind, yeah? And you're the kindest, prettiest, most talented teeny tyke, I've ever known. Oh, now you're laughin' at me, huh? Well, Ima show you 'bout that teeny brat."

-

3] "Who invented white allosexuals, like for real? Someone return this woman to sender."

-

4] "We're not even four days into a fucking New Year and this shit stain is stinkin' up the place."

-

5] "And I get that it's different things for different people. But I rather lose a place, than lose the people that matter with it."

-

6] "I know you've probs been lied to lately. But you're really not cute."

-

7] "He obvi picked bad pics on purpose, you Italian booger."

-

8] "I'm like Siri. Except better looking, smarter, much louder, and not an AI slave to a hegemonic hell-hole that stole the name of one of the best fruits. Like ever."

-

9] "Um, excuse you. I'm not reckless. What 'bout me screams the self sacrifice type?"

-

10] "Hey. Hey! Look at me! That's it ... slow breaths. I've got you. Do you -- you're okay, slowly ... Do you remember what I told you last week? Just nod. I've got you. I've got ya. You remember this? That's my pinky. We pinky promised -- the biggest and most bindable way to lock in a promise, yeah? And you may not know this about me, but I don't make promises that I can't see through. I said you're gonna be okay. And I mean that. I'm gonna make it happen, okay? I'll -- I'm here now and I'll be there at the end. Prommy, prommy, prommy, prommy, pro -- oh, a laugh, huh? Ha. That's what I like hearing. Leave the worryin' to me, dude."

-

11] "If this human version of a mutated ingrown armpit hair follicle don't get up off my face in the next 10, 9, 8, 7, …."

-

12] “Ow! Fudging snowcaps! That bitch hur –” They stopped mid-yelling but simply began complaining underneath their breath.

-

13] "I'm --," Kendis gestured sharply with their right hand as if orchestrating their feelings or encouraging Morgan to jump in. Not that they gave her much of a chance when they quickly added, "You know."

"You're?" Morgan smirked, "You know? I don't think I do."

"Yes. You do."

"Nah, nothing's ringing a bell."

"Well, that's probably all the brain damage you got from the last fight."

"Right. I remember that. The fight where I got stabbed instead of you."

Kendis' nostrils flare and their jaw clenches so tightly Morgan almost feels a sympathy twinge in her own teeth.

-

14]

“Then why won’t you tell me you love me? Maybe a little reward so I can be brave?”

“‘Cause a face full of kisses wasn’t enough? Wow.”

“Sure,  it was nice but this is a big deal. I think I deserve a bigger reward.”

“Aren’t rewards for after you actually do the stuff?”

“You’re right. How about you say ‘I love you’ just because you do!”

“You look cute when you pout an’ you’re gonna be late.”

“Please, Kendis? We’ve been dating for a while now and … That is – Unless – You don’t.”

“I don’t what?”

“You know you are always avoiding it, saying how you feel about me, and you’ve never come close to saying the words .. and sometimes I’ve wondered … I’ve been very patient the last several months –”

“Then keep on with that.”

“Okay. Okay. Kendis. Do you love me?”

“Can we talk about this later? This ain’t as black an’ white as you’re making it look like.”

“But it is.  It is a very black and white question with a very black and white answer. Do you love me?”

“Austyn. Austyn? Stop that! What’re you doin’?  Don’t. You’re – fuckin’ –”

“These are the notes I wrote you. Look at them. Look how far they reach on your floor. Look!”

“No”

“You never even wrote it back. I kept saying it and writing it and you never gave anything back … B-because … because you don’t.”

“I never gave – We’re not doin’ this right now. Again. Why’re you doin’ this right now? We don’t even have the time to really get into -”

“What is there to get into?  It’s yes or no,  Kendis! If you say that, then it will be all settled.”

“Maybe stop cuttin’ me off an’ let me speak.”

“You cut me off first! And don’t you start raising your voice at me!”

“You started that shit first, yourself! What is with you?”

“Why are you acting like I am overreacting? I’m not! It isn’t wrong to want to know whether or not my best friend is in love with me. It isn’t wrong to know if you really see a future with us together or if you’ve been just tagging along because I’m one of the very few other out girls in school.”

“You called me your best friend.”

“What?” 

“You should know how I feel. You say I don’t give you nothin’ back but that’s a damn lie an’ you know it.”

“Then why don’t you say it? I say it all the time!”

“But are you really meanin’ it?”

“Uh - Wha – EXCUSE ME!?!!” 

“Are you? How can I say those words to someone that's not a sure thing? You talk a lot about a future that ain’t here but what you really got to say for the now.”

“Wow. Asshole.” 

“Takes one.”

“Fine. Don’t love me. I think it’s best if we take some space right now and reconsider our priorities.”

“Austyn. I didn’t mean – Austyn this is silly.”’

“Is it?”

“Why're we even doin’ this right now? What about the formal?” 

“Don’t call me unless I call you.”

“Austyn!”

“Don’t.”

“You know what? Fuck you.”

“Apparently not even in the next few months, asshole.”

-

15]

Kendis narrowed her eyes but forced herself to take a deep breath, “You. Bumped into. Me!” Honestly, that was a generous and kind assessment. If Kendis had been human, she doubted she would’ve been able to stand with only a headache and a bad mood to show for it.

“Yeah, because you slowed down when you weren’t supposed to! I was keeping pace with you, speeding by the way, and then allva sudden –”

“I know you’re not blaming me for any of this, let alone your speeding, you Stranger Things reject.”

“Excuse me?”

Kendis felt that anger again – no, they could almost taste it. It was just wafting off the air from the shifter in front of them. It was churning up their stomach like sick, this anger that wasn’t their rage.

It was restless, like her’s was, but was also too hard, too cold.

Not right, not right. The warning blared in Kendis’ gut. Something was off and they needed to leave.

“Don’t!” They warned when the person reached out to grab at them, clearly making Kendis ready to skedaddle. The sharp yell struck out like a roll of thunder, loud and final enough to make this person hesitate, before Kendis’ voice dropped into a growl, “Don’t. Touch. Me.” [x]

[jazzythursday]

🦜🐧🐦🦩 💕

Hi Sparrow! Thanks for the birds! (Qs)

🦜 a pretty quote (you like the prose, or symbolism, or it's poetic, or you just like how it feels/the word choice!)

From Careless Is the Fall:

Pain had not become a friend, exactly, but an unwanted acquaintance whom Wylan did not wish to know and kept running into anyway.

It had not lessened after he’d left the mansion, if anything it had only gotten worse.

If pain had been an acquaintance before, in the Barrel it decided to crawl into his chest and make a home out of his organs. It lived in seawater and stomach acid, speaking to him in tongues of nausea and dizzying fatigue.

🐧 a funny quote (silly! laughs! jokes! puns!)

From post s2 reveal fic, during what I call the burning chicken scene:

Kaz growls, “I don’t need to renovate two buildings because of your”—he throws his arm up to gesture to the two of them—“I only pay you to destroy things that make me more money, not less.”

Jesper makes to say something else, but the chicken fights back against the harsh stream of the water. It sparks once, twice, and Jesper has to cover his face and back away.

🐦 a romantic quote (can be sweet or sad or sexy, or just your favorite interaction between them!)

Also from post s2 reveal, and one of my favourites:

Jesper presses him into the bed and kisses him and kisses him and Wylan kisses back with everything he has. They both still smell a bit like the boat, salt tang and damp lingering under their clothes from the long journey back. He doesn’t mind. He lets Jesper take him apart bit by bit, lets the heady rush of it carry him out to sea and keep him afloat. Jesper touches him like he’s learning him. Like he’s mapping Wylan out and finding all the best roads and quickest shortcuts and prettiest views.

🦩dealer's choice (choose any quote at all! or the summary / ao3 tags thing! whatever! wild card!)

Soooo, my Wylan whump/torture wip is a mess I haven’t touched in weeks, but I went digging through it just for you and came back with this:

Wylan tried to move, tried to look around for Jesper, tried to do something, but up was down and all Wylan found was more wet cobblestone and dizziness. He was afraid but he was calm and he could hear music somewhere like it was playing underwater. Like a dream, like a lullaby, like a funeral march, like his mother. Music floating from some far off place, vision going hazy with snow white spots dancing like snowflakes across his eyes. He could hear music but he couldn't hear Jesper laughing anymore and then—

And then he couldn’t hear anything at all.

[snoozingredpanda]

Random Facts/Headcannons (Benni, Nox)

GN!Reader

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, depression, abuse, swearing

—

Benni

• Girl’s addicted to apple juice. She will not go one day without a cup and will get grumpy if she runs out. Funny enough, she hates apples.

• She prefers candy to chocolate. Chocolate is too rich for her, and would rather just have a starburst or something.

• As I said before, is terrified of spiders. However, she will not kill them because she feels really guilty about ending anything’s life, even a small fly.

• Benni’s favourite film is A Dog’s Purpose. She bawls her eyes out whenever she watches it, the same with any other sad films with dogs.

• She is allergic to oregano and cats.

• She took an eight week language course just to learn how to tell her French neighbour to fuck off and stop stealing her mail.

• She accidentally walked into a nudist beach when taking the kid she was babysitting out on a walk. She has never run quicker in her life.

• Benni had a gecko called Herbert but it died cause she fed it too much.

• She has the urge to bite people a lot. Dunno why.

• She gets shy whenever sex scenes come on in films. Even if she’s alone, she’ll blush and hide her face in her hands.

• She’s a morning person.

• Works out a lot and eats as healthy as possible. She likes to take care of herself, but won’t mind skipping a day at the gym or eating pizza when she can’t be bothered to cook.

• Photography is everything to her. It’s what makes her happiest, snapping shots of beautiful landscapes and brilliant moments. She’s the top of her class and has even had famous photographers showing interest in her unique skill to show certain perspectives in a single picture.

• That being said, Benni hates having photos taken of herself. She says that she wants to only capture pretty things, which is stupid cause she’s the prettiest fucker alive fight me-

• Team Jacob.

• Ok that’s enough miscellaneous stuff.

• Now the more sad bit

• Benni struggles with alcohol. It’s been a problem for her since she was around 14; she needed a way to cope with her negative feelings and unfortunately alcohol was at easy access. She quickly became addicted and even though nowadays she drinks nowhere near as much, she still has days where she can’t help herself. She wakes up the next day hungover and guilty and ends up moping around for ages.

• She really wants to change. She manages to get sober for a few weeks, then falls of the wagon and ends up getting really depressed over it which makes it even worse.

• It’s not even like she’s an aggressive drunk or is problematic for the people around her. She just gets so down about everything that she starts to get certain thoughts which she knows she shouldn’t be having. It just makes her want to drink more for those few hours that numbs her mind.

• She’s lonely.

• She’s obsessive.

• She gets attached easily.

• If only there was a willing person who likes her yandere tendencies and can distract her from the temptation of alcohol…

• *cough cough* you right? *aggressive wink*

Nox

• Nox is left handed.

• She loves horror films. Especially gory ones. She’s never really grossed out, but can’t stand when there’s animals involved cause wtf kill the humans not the dog

• She works as a bartender but wants to do something else in the future, but doesn’t know what.

• She dislikes pretty much everyone just because.

• She has heterochromia, one eyes is a deep blue, the other an icy blue. It makes her stand out, which she absolutely hates.

• Nox has dyslexia and is ashamed of it.

• She can’t cook, but can bake. And she can bake good.

• She doesn’t like bright lights, or loud noises. Fireworks are a nightmare.

• She has an incredible spice tolerance. Whilst others would be sobbing, she’d just be munching away unaware she’d just consumed three ghost peppers.

• She’s terribly embarrassed about it, but she absolutely loves gardening. It’s just so calming, and she loves looking after her little flowers and veggies and cares for them so much they are her babies do not touch or she’ll put sand in your bed-

• Nox loves all animals, big or small. She even has a owl that she rescued when he was rejected by his mother. She named him Merlin. She doesn’t call him her pet, as she lets him come and go from her apartment as he pleases. She says it’s not fair to keep a wild animal inside as if it’s a budgie.

• She loves to play video games. She’s very good at them too. Her favourites are Pokémon, Cuphead and the Resident Evil series.

• She’s extremely ticklish. Like, to the point where if anyone were to touch her neck, she’d screech out and claw their eyes out.

• She prefers cats over dogs.

• Her brother’s name is Vincent. As much as she denies it, the two are very close and he’s probably the only person she feels comfortable around.

• She doesn’t really like kids. They’re annoying.

• She is not a morning person. And by that I mean she will backhand you if you try to wake her up before 9 am.

• Ironically, she has insomnia, so when she finally is able to get a bit of rest, and you wake her… she’s grumpy af.

• Nox and her brother were put in an abusive orphanage after their parents passed, and she had a horrible time there. That’s probably the main reason to her hateful and aggressive attitude, and her hephephobia.

• Nox is convinced she’ll never fall in love. She’s convinced she doesn’t need anyone.

• To translate: she’s scared.

• But she just needs a ray of sunshine to shine into her life.

• Could that be you?

[aanithewrapper]

prettiest scene of the week fight me

[barkingmaxi]

Just finished episode 11......

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YOU CAN'T JUST END IT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(How dare you make me care about Fukuchi again. Fukuzawa and Fukuchi have had one of the most romantic relationships in this series and I love it. They had the prettiest scene under the cherry blossoms a few episodes back)

Nice to see Bram whole again. He better adopt Aya

I really have my doubts on Fyodor being dead dead, but we'll have to just wait and see. Sigma's definitely alive though.

(What happened to Jouno?????)

I knew Kyoka was with Lucy because of that wan comic from last week!

It never even crossed my mind that Chuuya was faking being a vampire???????? What an actor lol and the fact he used to shoot Dazai like that before XD

Also Akutagawa with the new drip??? From victorian/vampire to a bit of a knight aesthetic? I like it. Also what the hell were Akutagawa and Atsushi fighting???? And this happened 2 hours later????? When did Akutagawa get time to change????

I need my friend to watch it so we can scream about it together.

[gillianthecat]

scattered post-viewing thoughts on Fahlanruk episode 10 (though I actually started writing them about two thirds in)

- this is a good show to watch while the combination of caffeine and vague physical discomfort has absolutely destroyed my already limited attention span. It is not made any worse by watching in 15 to 30 second increments.

- this really is The Gossip Show. Over half the scenes are either of people gossiping about each other or digging for information so they can gossip later. Now, I like to gossip as much as the next person, but it's kind of boring to watch? At least the way this show is doing it. It means not that much actually happens, people just talk about it.

- Anna's back! Unfortunately all she does pretty much is gossip too :-/

- I love Pie's outfit and his sparkly bag. This show keeps presenting me with characters that I want to love, who seem very intriguing, but then they turn out to be gossips or creeps or both. No one on this show understands boundaries. Except Namwan, my one true love. Namwan darling, I hope you find someone equally kind and wise to love you the way you deserve. You may have to leave this university to find them though.

- I appreciate the show's commitment to keeping Fah shirtless as much as possible. (Congratulations to the actor for your impressive strength training results.) But also I felt very uncomfortable for him through the whole costume fitting scene, it seemed like everyone was trying to sexually harass him and his magically intermittent hickeys.

- Bringing all this food onto the stage and into the dressing room is making me nervous. I feel like you aren't supposed to eat so close to the sets and costumes.

- Perhaps Fah is learning to get over his jealousy around Sher's friendship with Prince? That would be healthy for everyone.

- Did Prince and Gear make up last episode and I just totally blanked on it? I cannot for the life of me recall anything about them post Prince sobbing in his living room. But he seems very calm about them this episode? Sorry guys, I just find you so very dull you don't stick in my brain.

- Oh maybe Fah is not getting over his jealousy lol.

- Oh hey it's finally this scene from the opening credits! (The shirtless photo shoot.) We still need to see Ping and Tap's tentative kiss and Sher sobbing on the floor.

- Oh my poor pining babies. That tentative non-hug. They are both so sad and awkward with each other. But also I feel like things are finally moving in the right direction with them. The darkest hour is just before dawn etc.

- I continue to think that Ping's actor is the best of the bunch. And he brings out the best work in Tap's actor. Who I think is the prettiest boy in the show. Although I do love Ping's hair. I hope I get to see them in other stuff!

- Ok I know I said I find Prince and Gear boring, but that little cheek kiss was cute!

- Oy. Yet another repetition of the same old fight between Fah and Sher. I know that's realistic to relationships but it's not that engaging to watch.

- Oh great, a return of the I'm mad at you/hurt by you so I'm going to sexually assault you trope. 🥴 (I typed tripe at first which honestly is a better word for it.)

- I feel like Fah and Sher's storyline keeps just going in circles. But I also find them fairly uninteresting and my brain becomes a sieve whenever they're on screen so it might just be that.

- My pining babies continue to be my favorite and there was not enough of them this week. But it looks like next week we get that tentative kiss!!!

[littlefreakkitty]

Ok I'm just gonna take time to talk about Selena Gomez My Mind and Me documentry.

Watching the whole thing made me feel so many emotions. But one of the constant emotions was, guilt.

The fact that it all happened, and none of us had no clue, makes me feel really bad about it because I started stanning Selena since WOWP. I didn't know who she was then.

Her song Who Says had a big impact in my life and in my confidence. She was the first ever person to teach me about believing in myself and having confidence through this song.

I remember this concert. This concert meant a lot to me, to her fans, and I'm sure to her. The fact that this song fans sang along and not only for the sake of singing along but the fact that they SANG IT TO HER is really beautiful to me, but also sad because the way selena had panic attacks and constantly doubted not being enough.

I also wanted to point out a few "what we saw" vs "what she felt" moments because watching those interviews me and some of her fans pointed out that she wasn't in fact okay.

This radio interview... Where people hated her for being not enough cheerful

This interview. Where she also mentioned feeling like back in disney and feeling like a product. I think we need to talk about it more.

The way she is.. just... Not... Happy... Is so relatable to me given i have had depression and anxiety for a long time.

Which takes me back to this scene:

"i am having fun" it's constantly used by me too because... Just as her friend says that they just had a great week in kenya and then she doesn't seem happy and she tries to fight back saying yes i am knowing she isn't is so relatable to me.

I also watched Billie's doc World's a Little Blurry... As someone who grew up WITH Billie (she's just 2 years older) it hit closer to me, i felt she knew what i was going through.

But watching My mind and Me was just harder cause it's like watching your mom suffer through depression and all that. Because selena is like that to me. She raised me. She is a part of my personality and will always be.

The ending and the journal entries had me crying.. I just hope she knows how worthy she is. She's everything. The prettiest, the strongest, the kindest. I hope she knows how much I (we) love her

[moiloru]

🥇 My 2022 Anime Review! ✨

The year 2022 ends in two weeks, so just like last year, it is time for me to review my 2022 anime year and give some rewards! I've watched many different things this year - and it's been incredibly entertaining.

As an FYI: this is a review of what I watched this year. It will not only feature animes that aired in 2022. Also, these are my opinions, which you may disagree with. Please don't be offended if my views are different from yours.

With that said, let's begin!

First anime watched this year: Haikyuu!!

I knew my anime year was off to a good start when the very first I watched was so great. Haikyuu doesn't need to be praised any more than it already was - and the final two movies should be a ton of fun to close out this series.

Last anime watched this year: Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

I finished the year with a gorgeous Netflix exclusive that aired just a few months ago at the time of this review. Though short to my taste, it was still a good show!

Worst anime watched this year: No Game No Life

I'm sorry to any NGNL fans who may read this, but this anime sucks. I went into detail in my review, but I found this anime pretty disgusting and boring to watch. The fanservice is horrendous, and the plot is uninteresting. For some reason, though, the movie was excellent. Go figure... There are better awards to get!

"Honorable" mentions: Kiss Him, Not Me! and A Whisker Away.

Prettiest anime watched this year: Demon Slayer S2

Was there any room for debate for this category? There wasn't, right? I don't need to explain this further. KNY has reached a level of animation that will probably not be equaled for quite a while...

Honorable mentions: Cyberpunk: Edgerunners and Kill la Kill.

Best plot in an anime watched this year: Death Note

It's a classic; I'm not taking many risks with this one. Sure, the second part wasn't as much of a masterpiece as the first one, but we're talking legendary status here. Death Note has the perfect combo of mystery, psychology, and drama. I was entertained from beginning to end, and the plot is one of the reasons why.

Honorable mentions: Attack on Titan and Steins;Gate.

Best action scene watched this year: Asta & Yami vs. Dante (Black Clover)

This choice was very hard, admittedly. It's not necessarily the prettiest in terms of animation (even if it remains gorgeous), but it had me vibrate the most. There's so much going on during that fight, and it comes at a moment in the anime that makes it even better. Close call, but it gets the nod!

Honorable mentions: Uzui & Tanjiro vs. Gyutaro (Demon Slayer S2) and Black Bulls vs. Vetto (Black Clover).

Best romance in an anime watched this year: Kaguya Shinomiya & Miyuki Shirogane (Kaguya-sama: Love is War)

Another difficult call to make here, but the protagonists from Kaguya-sama get it. They fit their anime perfectly, and Season Three was a masterpiece, winning them my vote. Two cuties!

Honorable mentions: Rintaro Okabe & Kurisu Makise (Steins;Gate) and Kyo Sohma and Tohru Honda (Fruits Basket).

Funniest anime watched this year: Kaguya-sama: Love is War

Another award for this anime. Honestly, it gets it thanks to the narrator - the best human ever to live on this planet. I laughed more than I care to admit when watching this anime - which is incredible when you know it's not only a comedy but much more than that.

Honorable mentions: Food Wars! and Spy x Family.

Saddest anime watched this year: Clannad

Clannad is known to be a tear-jerker, so this is not a big surprise. The first season may not have been remarkable, but Afterstory is a freaking masterpiece that made me bawl my eyes out like a little baby - and I'm not ashamed to say it.

Honorable mentions: I Want to Eat Your Pancreas and Steins;Gate.

Best opening in an anime watched this year: Shinzou wo Sasageyo! (Attack on Titan)

Do you think there's anything to be said about this opening? It slams like every SNK opening, but this one always gives me goosebumps. It's intense, it looks beautiful, and it hits so, so hard.

Honorable mentions: Dive Back In Time (Link Click) and Black Catcher (Black Clover)

Best scene in an anime watched this year: Attack on Titan

I won't describe it here not to spoil people who may not have seen it, but it's in the second part of Season Three. It has earned legendary status without even featuring the protagonist, which is remarkable.

Honorable mentions: Kaguya-sama: Love is War, Assassination Classroom and Haikyuu!!

Worst character in an anime watched this year: Kyuubey (Madoka Magica)

Another difficult call to make here, but I've decided to go with this insufferable cat. Anyone who's watched Madoka Magica knows how annoying he is, even if there was competition!

"Honorable" mentions: Makoto Hanamiya (Kuroko no Basketball) and Langris Vaude (Black Clover)

Best character in an anime watched this year: Yami Sukehiro (Black Clover)

Words aren't enough to understand how much I love this dude. He singlehandedly made Black Clover unique for me, and I have no doubt he'll continue moving forward. He outclasses everyone else by a mile, and his memorable moments are numerous. Add a charismatic personality, and you get one heck of a character.

Honorable mentions: Kaguya Shinomiya (Kaguya-sama: Love is War) and Anya Forger (Spy x Family).

Best anime watched this year: Attack on Titan and Death Note

I simply couldn't choose. Both are timeless masterpieces (the former isn't even finished yet) with more incredible moments than I could count. Earlier this year, my pick would have been Spy x Family, but in the end, it has to be these two. Eren Yaeger and Light Yagami are legendary characters; both plots are incredibly well-crafted, the casts are amongst the most famous ever, and the excitement I felt when watching those two animes was greater than any other this year. Simply incredible.

Honorable mentions: Spy x Family, Haikyuu!!, Kaguya-sama: Love is War, Demon Slayer S2, Black Clover, Fruits Basket...

Those took me more thought than you might think, but I'm satisfied with those picks. I've watched plenty of excellent animes this year, meaning 2023 will probably be a lighter year. Nevertheless, masterpieces are still waiting for me to watch, so I'm not too worried!

To finish this post, here are my tierlists for the year! Like last year, there's one for openings, one for main characters, and one for anime entries! Just so you know, the main characters are those with that title on MyAnimeList, and the anime entries are those with a page on MAL. Also, those are organized chronologically, meaning there's no difference within the ranks between left and right.

First off, the openings!

As you can see, there are basically none I didn't enjoy listening to, and a good number of them are either great or even better.

Next, the main characters!

As you can see, there are a lot. 294, to be precise. It was not always easy to keep this one coherent, but it reflects my thoughts well.

Last but not least, the most important tierlist: the one for the animes themselves!

I think this one shows how much I require to put something into the S+++ tier, as even some animes I could praise for days fall short. Still, it shows how many beautiful things I've watched this year and all the fun I've had. Happy times, let me tell you!

Thank you for reading this long post, and I'll be back next year with the 2023 awards! Until then, let's hope we get a wonderful anime year with many unforgettable entries!

[forbidden-creepypasta]

The Death Waltz

The Death Waltz retold by S. E. Schlosser

Within an hour of my arrival at Fort Union, my new post, my best friend Johnny came to the barracks with a broad grin and a friendly clout on the shoulder. He'd hurried over as soon as he heard I had come, and we talked 'til sunset and beyond.

As soon as Johnny mentioned Celia's name, I knew he had it bad for her. To hear him talk, Celia was the most amazing woman who had ever graced God's green earth. She was the sister-in-law of the captain, and all the young men on the base were infatuated with her. Celia was the prettiest of the eligible ladies that graced Fort Union society. She liked the spice of adventure to be found so near the wilds.

Johnny alternated between elation when Celia talked with him and despair when she flirted with another man. I watched their courtship from afar and was troubled. There was something about Celia that I didn't like. I never mentioned it to Johnny, but I thought she was too much of a flirt. I wished Johnny had fallen for a nicer woman.

About a month after I arrived at Fort Union, a birthday dance was given for one of the officers. To Johnny's elation, Celia agreed to be his partner at the dance. Johnny was dancing on cloud nine all night, until a messenger came gasping into the room to report an Apache raid. With a small scream of terror, Celia clung shamelessly to Johnny and begged him not to go even though he was the lieutenant put in charge of the mission. Well sir, Johnny proposed to her right then and there and Celia accepted. Furthermore, Celia told Johnny that she would wait for him, and that if he didn't come back she would never marry. I doubted Celia's sincerity, but Johnny just ate it up.

I was assigned to Johnny's troop, so I had to leave too. We started out the next morning, and had a rough week tracking down and fighting the Apaches. Johnny split up the troop; taking command of the first group and giving me command of the second. My men reached the rendezvous point with no casualties, but only half of the other group arrived, and Johnny was not among them. They'd been ambushed by the Apaches. I had to take command of the troop. We searched for survivors, but never found Johnny's body. As soon as I could, I ordered the men to turn for home.

Celia made a terrible, heart-rending scene when she found out Johnny was missing. She flung herself into my arms when I gave her the news and sobbed becomingly. The display turned my stomach, it was so obviously insincere. I excused myself hastily and left her to the ministrations of the other soldiers. From that time on, I was careful to stay away from Celia, who mourned less than a week for my friend before resuming her flirtatious ways.

About a month later, a rich handsome lieutenant arrived at Fort Union. He was from the East, and Celia took a real shine to him. Johnny was completely forgotten and so was her promise to him. It wasn't long before Celia and the lieutenant were engaged and started planning a big wedding. Nothing but the very best would suit Celia, and her bridegroom had the money to indulge her.

Everyone in Fort Union was invited to the ceremony, and the weather was perfect on the day of the wedding. Everyone turned out in their best clothes and the wedding was a social success. After the ceremony, all the guests were invited to a celebratory ball.

We were waltzing around the ballroom when the door flew open with a loud bang. A gust of cold air blew in, dimming the candles. A heart-wrenching wail echoed through the room. The music stopped abruptly and everyone turned to look at the door. Standing there was the swollen, dead body of a soldier. It was dressed in an officer's uniform. The eyes were burning with a terrible fire. The temple had a huge gash from a hatchet-blow. There was no scalp. It was Johnny.

The whole crowd stood silent, as if in a trance. No one moved, no one murmured. I wanted to cry out when I recognized Johnny, but I was struck dumb like the rest of the wedding guests.

Johnny walked across the room and took Celia out of her bridegroom's arms. She was frozen in horror and could not resist. Johnny looked at the musicians. Still in a trance, they began to play a horrible, demonic sounding waltz. Johnny and Celia began to dance. They swept around and around the room, doing an intricate waltz. Johnny held the white-clad bride tight against his dead body while a deathly pallor crept over her face. Her steps slowed but still Johnny held her tight and moved them around in a grisly parody of a waltz. Celia's eyes bulged. She turned as white as her gown and her mouth sagged open. She gave one small gasp, and died in his arms.

Johnny dropped Celia's body on the floor and stood over her, wringing his blood-stained hands. He threw back his head and gave another unearthly wail that echoed around the room. Then he vanished through the door.

Released from the trance, the crowd gasped and exclaimed. The bridegroom ran to Celia and knelt beside her, wringing his hands in the same manner as Johnny. His cries were all too human.

Unable to bear the sight of the stricken bridegroom, I took my captain aside and asked permission to take a small detail back to the place where our troop had been attacked by the Apaches to search once more for my dead friend. He sent a dozen men with me. We combed the area, and finally found Johnny's body hidden in a crevice. It looked exactly the same as it had appeared on the night of Celia's wedding.

We brought Johnny back to the fort with us and the captain buried him beside Celia. Celia's bridegroom went back East shortly after we buried Johnny, and I resigned my commission a few days later and went home, never wanting to see that cursed place again.

I heard later that Celia's ghost was often seen at dusk, weeping over Johnny's grave, but I never went back to Fort Union to see it for myself.

From here: http://www.americanfolklore.net/folktales/nm5.html

[crazyunsexycool]

Love in times of war

Pairing: 40s!Steve Rogers x 40s!Reader

word count: 16.1k

Summary: you meet Steve Rogers while working with Dr. Erskine.

warnings: Steve being adorable, preserum Steve, angst, fluff, badly written smut, talks of blood, needles, gunshots, Bucky being a little shit, Peggy is a bitch (if you like Peggy this is not the blog for you)

A/N: this was a wild ride. Was it necessary to write 16k not at all but I had so much fun writing it. I used some scenes from Captain America the first avenger but I don’t own the characters or marvel. Please let me know what you think and as always I appreciate the comments, likes and reblogs.

master list

Excitement was thick in the air, the expo was in full swing and men were lining up at the recruitment center in order to serve their country. You had almost been out the door after a long day of work when you were called back. It was rare that Dr. Erskine would ask you to come in if you were done for the night but the moment you stepped into his office you knew. His eyes were bright and hopeful.

“You found him.” you exclaimed once the door was shut. Leaning back against the door you looked at the older man, excited at the possibility.

“Perhaps I have. I need you now more than ever.”

“Of course, anything you need.”

“Good.” He says as he hands you a file. 

“Steven Grant Rogers.” you murmur as your eyes scan the page. “Hmm, he has a long list of health issues Doc.” You look back up at him to find Erskine studying your reaction. “But you didn’t choose him because of that did you?”

“You are correct. This world needs more than good soldiers Y/N.”

“It needs good men. He seems to fit the bill, he’s tried to sign up multiple times to fight for his country. Seems like Mr. Rogers only wants to do what's right.”

“You get it and that is why I need you by my side. Go home and pack your things. We have a lot to prepare for in the coming weeks.”

***************************************************************

The next morning you had been one of the first people into Erskine’s lab. The good doctor had left you with a list of things to do the night before so you began at the top of the list. By the time you had organized the equipment he needed and redid Steve’s chart it was time to start with the regular work day. 

You made your way to the exam room that had been set up and knocked on the door. When you heard the faint come in you opened the door to find Steve unbuttoning his shirt. His eyes were the prettiest blue you had ever seen but they were filled with embarrassment at his state of undress. If that wasn’t enough, the hint of pink that dusted his cheeks made him even cuter.

“Hi Mr. Rogers my name is Y/N and I’m going to be assisting Dr. Erskine. He needs me to take your vitals and some blood samples too. Is it ok if I come in now?” 

“Yes, it’s alright.” 

You open the door wider and close it behind you, offering him a smile before making your way to the small cabinet area in the room. Steve’s chart sits on the counter while you gather the things you’ll need to take his vitals. 

“You don’t have to be nervous. Everything will turn out alright.” You say over your shoulder when you notice him fidgeting. 

“What if Dr. Erskine chose the wrong person for this?”

You placed everything you needed on the small cart that was nestled in the corner of the room and dragged it closer as you thought about how to answer the question.

“I’ve been working with him for almost a year now and this is the first time he’s selected anyone.” 

“So no pressure.”

You smile as you put the cuff on his arm to take his blood pressure.

“I know his story but that is for him to tell you. I can say that for the first time in a long time he feels hopeful and that is something you gave him. Which means that you’re the only choice for this project.”

After taking his pressure you make a note on his chart. As you pull on the stethoscope that was hanging around your neck to listen to his heart and then his lungs you feel his eyes on you. Steve is taking in your beauty and he’s sure you heard how his breath hitches when you move closer. But he’s almost in a trance by the beautiful color of your eyes, a color he’ll have to remember so that he can try and recreate it later. You move away from him before grabbing what you need to take blood samples and labeling them. 

“How can you be so sure of that?” He asked in a hush tone.

“You’re humble for starters. With anyone else they would have puffed out their chest, proud that they���re the only one that fit the bill but you still question it. From what I read in your file you find yourself in fights quite a bit?” 

“I don’t like bullies.” 

“Exactly, you’re willing to fight for what’s right. You stand up against those that abuse their power and you don’t do it for the glory or anything.You know what it means to be powerless and it’s safe to say you’re compassionate. I think that’s more important than just passing all these tests. And like I said I know Erskine’s story, one you will understand with time.” you offer Steve a small smile which he returns. Before he’s able to reply another knock echoes into the small room before the door opens. 

“There you are Y/N, thank you for getting the lab ready.” 

“You’re welcome doc. I’m done with his vitals and blood samples.” 

“Good, take them back to my lab. I have some other things to go over with Steve.”  Dr. Erskine pats your shoulder.

“See you later Steve and remember what I said.” You send a wink his way as you walk out of the room. Dr. Erskine watched as you walked out and the blush that appeared on Steve’s cheeks with a smirk.

“If you hurt her I will make you disappear.” 

“What- no I would never… She wouldn’t even like someone like me.” 

“You don’t know that. Y/N is one of the few people I trust. She is kind, smart and selfless and are you going to deny that she is beautiful? She wants what we do, for this world to be better and the war to be over. I think she’s the only one that can choose who she likes.”

*********************************************

A few weeks have passed since you first met Steve. Now you had traveled to New Jersey to the base that was being used for basic training. They had given you a small room to set up as a makeshift office so that you could take more blood samples from Steve and some other recruits that Colonel Phillips had picked himself. 

“Private Hodge.” You called out from the doorway. 

“Hello sugar.” Hodge said as he walked in. You saw him look you up and down with a smirk on his lips. 

“Please have a seat.” 

“You like being bossy, sugar? I could get used to that.” he winks as he takes a seat on the exam table.

“Private Hodge my name isn’t sugar it’s Y/N so I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that.” 

“Oh come on I’m just teasing. I’m sure a pretty little thing like you is used to the attention.”

“I’d really prefer it if you stopped talking now. I need to take your blood pressure.” 

You went down the mental list you had created, making sure to gather all of the information Dr. Erskine required. Although physically Hodge was in the running to be the first test subject, the fact that he was making you uncomfortable with not only his comments but he wouldn’t take his eyes off you was bothersome. Dr. Erskine had told you early on that he was looking for someone that was more than physically capable, he needed to find someone that was good and would stand up for what was right. The more time you worked with the doctor the more it made sense as to why Steve was the only choice. 

“You’re all done, you can leave.”  You informed him as you rushed to the door and opened it. 

“Don’t I get a reward for being such a good patient?” Hodge had walked up to you and put a hand on your waist with the purpose of pulling you closer. 

“Let me go.” 

“Just a little sugar, sugar.”  

Hodge pulled you closer forcing you to place your hands on his chest to try to push him away. When that didn’t work you stomped on his boot, the heel of your shoe digging into the top of his foot causing him to take a few steps back.

“You little-”

“Back off.” Steve appeared by the door and quickly stood in front of you to keep Hodge away.

“What are you going to do about it?” 

Hodge was much taller and muscular then Steve. He stocked over to the blond, using his height to try and intimidate the shorter man but it didn’t work. 

“No fighting allowed. If you do, you're disqualified.” 

Hodge backed away from Steve with a huff and some curses under his breath. He looked over at you with a scowl on his face before heading down the hallway. You looked down before looking at Steve and moving into the room to let him in. 

“Thank you, for that.” you said in a hushed voice. His hand found yours and he tugged so that you would turn towards him.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No, you got here just in time.”

“If he tries anything else you tell me, I don’t care about being disqualified.” 

You smile at him before squeezing his hand lightly.

“And you doubt why you are the perfect person for this.” you motioned toward the exam table. “Let me get some items together and then we can start.” 

The room sat in comfortable silence as you moved around the exam table. You could feel Steve’s eyes on you and when you looked over your shoulders your eyes would meet causing his cheeks to redden with the embarrassment of being caught. It was cute to say the least and since the first meeting you hadn’t really been able to stop thinking about him. Still in the moment you pushed your thoughts of what dating Steve would be like and focused on the task at hand. Unfortunately everything was completed quickly and there was no reason for him to stay and talk. 

“Were you done for the night then?” Steve cut the silence. 

“Yeah, I just need to put these things away.” 

“Are you staying on base? I could walk you to your room if you’d like.” 

“I would like that, thank you.” You looked up from his chart and smiled. “Let me just finish this up.” 

He gave you a quick nod and walked out to wait for you in the hallway. A few minutes later you walked out, locking the door before turning to the blond that was leaning against the wall. 

“Ready?” you nod at him and he starts walking with you down the long corridor. 

“So what do you do for fun?” 

“Oh you know the usual, get in fights in the alley, try to join the army, but mostly I like drawing and painting too.” 

“So you’re an artist?” 

“Something like that. How about you, what does the world’s best nurse do for fun?”

“Well I love finding good hearted men that fight bullies in alleys and then run tests on him to make sure he qualifies for super secret government experiments. Also I have a knack for befriending older scientists with accents.” You smile at Steve. “I do enjoy a good book too.” 

“So what made you want to be a nurse?” Steve asked as you walked toward your room.

“My parents both worked and I had a younger brother that was sick a lot. I used to take care of him most of the time. What I really wanted to do was work in research to find a cure for one or some of his illnesses. We just didn’t have the money for school and my dad didn’t think a woman should be worrying about things like that anyways. Nursing was the next best thing and I would take what I could get. Erskine has given me a once in a lifetime opportunity by letting me work alongside him.” 

“I think you’d be great at it. My ma was a nurse, I think if she had the chance she would have been a doctor.”

“What did you do before joining the army?” 

“I just found work where I could get it. Not many people were willing to hire someone like me.” 

You frowned slightly. The army you could understand, they needed healthy men to fill the ranks but that didn’t mean Steve wasn’t able to work. 

“It’s not a big deal. I’m here now and that’s all that matters.” 

“And you’ll go on to do great things, don't forget that.” You replied as you stopped in front of the room you had been given for your stay. Leaning forward you kiss Steve on the cheek causing him to once again turn a bright red. “Thank you for walking me over.” 

“S’no problem. Goodnight.” He said as you walked in a grin broke out on his face as he touched the cheek you had kissed. 

********************************************

The next morning had gone how every morning went while working with Erskine. Going over lab results and him teaching you a few things along the way. You cared for the older man as if he were a father and with a few little words he let you know you were like the daughter he never had. He always gave you a chance to review what he did and let you tell him your findings while correcting any mistakes you made.

 As the day went on you met with Colonel Phillips out on the field. He was arguing with Dr. Erskine about who should be chosen as the first test subject. Talking about how Hodge was the best choice while putting Steve down, something you didn’t like one bit.

“Look at that, he’s making me cry.” He states as you three stop by a truck and watch the recruits doing jumping jacks, Steve doing his best to keep up.

“I am looking for qualities beyond the physical.” Erskine stated. 

Phillips argued how long it took to get this project set up and how he had to basically beg some senator. You couldn’t be bothered to listen to him whining, your focus was on Steve and silently cheering him on. It’s also when you noticed a brunette who also had her eyes on Steve. She had a uniform on and you remembered that Erskine had told you about some agent from England that was also involved, maybe it was her. But you are brought back to the conversation at hand.

“He’s a bully.” 

“You don’t win wars with niceness, doctor.” He moves around to the back of the truck and picks up a grenade. “You win wars with guts.” Phillip says as he pulls the pin and tosses the explosive toward the group of men. 

“Grenade!”

“Move, move, move.” Hodges yells out. The men panic and run to hide behind whatever they can find. Steve however dives to cover the grenade with his body, shielding as many people as he can from the explosion. 

“Get away! Get back.” he tosses the grenade away from himself. Hodge and the rest of the recruits get up again once they don’t hear it going off. A confused Steve starts looking around to see what’s going on.

“It’s a dummy grenade.” someone says. 

“Is this a test?” Steve asks, first looking at the brunette before turning and finding you. A smile on your lips when your eyes meet, you give him a thumbs up. 

“He’s still skinny.” you hear Phillips say. But it doesn’t matter as your attention changes from Steve to Erksine who is also smiling. 

“Let’s go get everything ready, we have our candidate.” He tells you softly. 

****************************

The day everyone had been waiting for finally arrived. The lab was already full, some government officials were taking their seats in the viewing room while Howard Stark was reviewing the capsule Steve would have to get into. You on the other hand were getting the serum ready as well as some other things for Dr. Erskine. 

“Ready to make some history?” Howard asked as he rounded the capsule. 

“Absolutely, are you?”

“Don’t tell anyone but I am a bit terrified.”

“Don’t worry Mr. Stark.”

“Please call me Howard.”

“Well don’t worry Howard, this isn’t your flying car.” you tease.

He points at you, “I’ll remember that.” he says before smiling back.

Before you could reply the double doors opened revealing Steve in his uniform and the agent from the base, Peggy Carter. Erskine walked up to them and pointed at the viewing room, Peggy left the men and headed up the stairs. Next he turned to find you and waved you over.

“Will you get him ready?” He asked once you joined them. You nod and he leaves.

“How are you feeling?” you asked Steve, who honestly looked a little terrified.

“I’m good. How are you?” 

“Excited.” you beamed as you motioned for him to follow you. Once you were on the platform you turned back to him. “You’ll have to take your shirt off.”

“Oh, ok.” He unbuttons his shirt and hands it to you before removing his undershirt. 

“This is Howard Stark, he’ll get you settled in.” 

“Come over this way.” Howard gets Steve strapped on the table and makes sure Steve is comfortable. After getting the ok from Steve he turns to make some final checks on the capsule.

“How are your levels Mr. Stark?” 

“Levels are at 100%. We may dim half the lights in brooklyn, but we are ready… as we’ll ever be.”

Erskine reassures Steve one last time before turning to the crowd watching above and giving some kind of speech. You moved to take the serum from the case they were in and place them in their in the machine Steve was in. Once you were done Steve grabbed your hand, sending a worried look your way. 

“Everything will be fine. You’re the right choice Steve.” you squeeze his hand and smile at him before stepping away to grab a syringe. With a cotton swab and alcohol you clean a spot in his arm. “You’ll just feel a pinch.” you say before giving him the shot.

“Oh, that wasn’t so bad.” 

“That was penicillin.” Erskine informs him, making you giggle. “Serum infusion beginning in 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.” The sound of the tubes draining can be heard and Steve grimaces. “Now Mr. Stark.”

The capsule closes and moves to an upright position, the doctor checks on Steve one more time before Howard begins to turn up the power on it. The anticipation builds slowly and you feel your heart pounding in your chest as you watch. The light from inside gets brighter but Steve starts to scream as Howard announces that power is at 70%.

“Steven!” Erskine shouts as he tries to look into the small window. “Steven!” 

From above you can also hear Peggy yell. “Shut it down!’ 

Erskine moves and starts shouting instructions at Howard. But you’re still stuck in your spot until you hear him say to shut it off.

“No. He can do it.” 

“No, don’t. I can do this.” 

Both you and Steve yell at the same time. Causing Howard to move back to the dial and keep going. The light gets even brighter as Howard announces 80%, 90% and finally 100%. His circuit board lights up, everything around short circuits. Erskine stands next to you in front of the pod waiting with bated breath as the doors finally open revealing a much taller and muscular Steve. He slumps forward and you and Erskine quickly move forward to catch him.

“How do you feel?” You ask as he stands up, taking a few deep breaths. 

“Taller.” you smile up at him while another nurse passes him a t-shirt. 

Everyone from the viewing room comes down, all of them talking over each other and exchanging congratulations. Peggy heads toward Steve and begins to talk with him when someone shouts and a gun is fired, taking Erskine down. You rush over and put pressure on the wound but from where it hit you know it’s fatal. Steve is there in an instant as you try to hold back the tears. The older man looks at you and points to your head and then looks at Steve and points to his heart before taking his last breath. 

“No no no.” Your bottom lip trembles as you take the older man’s hand in your own.

Steve runs out of the room chasing the man that had killed your friend and mentor. Howard moved towards you to try and move you away from Erskine’s body when an explosion rocked the building filling the room with fire and smoke. Howard pulls you as everyone begins to run out of the lab. 

***********************************

There was a huge commotion out in the hallway. Everyone ran around frantically trying to figure out how they were going to deal with the loss of the formula for the serum. No one cared for the life that paid the price, there was no grieving the great man that was Abraham Erskine. Even with his flaws and mistakes of the past weighing him down he still dreamt of a better future. It was a shame that he wouldn’t be there to watch it happen. 

You sat in his office, where Howard led you to as he tried to talk with the colonel and the other government officials that were demanding he replicate the formula immediately. The noise grew louder for a moment before it was muffled once again behind the closed door. Your once white nurses uniform was now stained with blood, ash and tears while your hair fell out of the updo you had. The ringing in your ears gradually stopped the longer you sat there. None of it mattered because you had witnessed the worst thing imaginable, the loss of a friend at the hands of someone else. Too lost in thought you missed the footsteps getting closer to you, only when Steve crouched down in front of you did you realize you weren’t alone anymore. He was soaking wet and the white t-shirt he wore clung to his now muscular frame. One of his hands came up to your face gingerly and wiped away the tears that still fell while the other grabbed one of yours that was on your lap. 

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” He said, his voice soft and comforting.

“Did you get him?”

“I did but he didn’t make it.”

You nodded but you barely looked at him, instead you stood and began to organize the files on Erskine’s desk. He had so much research and he’d let you go over all of it. He even gave you your own projects to work on so that you could gain the experience necessary for the field. Now being in his office those memories washed over you causing the ache in your chest to expand. It was all consuming and you didn’t know how to handle it. Sure you’ve lost people you cared about but they passed from natural causes. This was different, he had supported you more than your own father and now it was over. You tried to put your focus on the papers that were  everywhere and chalkboards filled with his ideas and formulas and you began to get angry. 

“Why does he have to be so messy?” You say as you slam a file down. “I was here yesterday and organized all of this, couldn’t he keep things in order for one damn day.” You complained as you sniffled. Steve stood there watching you for a moment before reaching out and stopping your movements.

He turned you around and pulled you into his chest, letting you cry as much as you wanted. In this moment Steve wished more than anything that he could turn back time and stop what happened. Once you calmed down enough the recently turned super soldier pulled back to look down at you. He reaches up to wipe away the tears.

“We’ll find the others that were involved and we’ll make them pay, I promise”. 

“I’m sorry for… this.” You gestured at yourself vaguely.

“No need to be sorry sweetheart.” He gave you a chaste kiss on the forehead. Something he’s wanted to do since that night at the base. You look up at him with red rimmed eyes and give him a sad smile. The door opens and in walks Colonel Phillips and at least a dozen men. They begin to pack all of Erskine’s things.

“Hey, you can’t take that.” You argue as you pull some files away from one of them.

“Of course he can, this is government property. I’m sorry Miss but you’ll have to leave you no longer have any business being here, and you.” He points at Steve. “We have a special mission for you.” With that he walks out leaving you both frozen in place as the men work around both of you.

“Give them hell.” You tell him. 

“I intend to.” 

You gave Steve a final hug and a request to keep in touch before you watched him walk out of the door. He looked at you one final time before he disappeared. It would be months before you would see him again.

***********************************

Colonel Phillips screwed you over big time, he made sure you wouldn’t be able to sign up with the nurse corp. He stated that since you worked with Erskine it made you a target if anyone found out so really he was saving your life. Without much to do in New York you had decided to visit your aunt in Chicago to try and get away for a little bit. It ended up being a wasted trip as your aunt and new husband were headed to California a few days after you arrived but still they offered you to stay and house sit for them. 

While walking down the city streets one day you saw a flier with a very familiar looking man on it. It had your blood boiling at the thought that this was Steve’s mission. Phillips really was an idiot in your opinion, you ripped the flier from the wall and headed in the direction of this supposed show. Although you were angry that Erskine’s work was being wasted you couldn’t help but be a little relieved that Steve was safe. It’s not that you had spent so much time together but you adored him. The few times you did spend together he was a gentleman and kind. You still regret not inviting him into your room that night at the base but it was too late for that now. The little hopes you had to see him were dashed by the time you got there it was over. You had tried to ask where the performers were staying but no one would give you an answer so feeling defeated you headed out of the theater. You took off in the direction of your aunt’s home, your eyes still on the flier when you ran into someone.

“I’m sorry.” You both said at the same time. 

“Steve?” You say when you look up. Your eyes were wide and your mouth agape. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked as he wrapped you in a hug which you returned.

“I came to see you but I missed the show.” 

“You came to Chicago to see me?” He looked down at you, it was still fascinating to you how much the serum had changed him physically. That was something else you are angry about, Phillips didn’t give you a chance to take notes after the serum had been administered to have information before and after.

“No, I came to Chicago to see an aunt, I saw the flier and thought it was you so I wanted to see it for myself.” 

He nodded as he scratched the back of his neck, you saw the embarrassment in his face but you needed to know what happened.

“Steve, why are you doing this?” 

He sighed as he looked around and then at you. Steve felt like a failure every time he had to get up on that stage. He thought of Erskine and you and all of the work you had done. Mostly he thought about how much you believed in him and how he had let you down. 

“Would you like to get some coffee or something and we can talk?”

“Yeah.”

He offered you his arm before leading you down the block. If the world wasn’t in the middle of a war and you didn’t feel at least slightly lost you would say that this was nice. Being on Steve’s arm felt natural and in all honesty you had missed him. 

Once you found a diner a few blocks down from the theater you took a booth toward the back. The waitress came by and took your drink orders and left.

“So…” you said as you looked at him. You couldn’t help yourself and you studied his face, taking mental notes of the changes in his appearance. His hair, although combed up and back so that it was out of his face, seemed healthier and his cheeks held a healthy rosy tint along with his eyes which sparkled brighter. 

“So.” He looked at you bracing himself for the disappointment he was sure to see on your face. “After that day I left with Phillips thinking he would send me overseas but he said he needed an army of super soldiers not just one man. He thought it would be more useful if I did the show to sell war bonds. It’s honestly embarrassing, I could be doing so much more if he would just let me go over there. I feel I’m back at square one except I don’t have asthma anymore.” 

“He basically blacklisted me from the nurse corp. said that by helping Erskine I put a target on my back and if they found out and I was taken, he wouldn't bother to send anyone to get me.” 

The waitress set Steve’s coffee down and your milkshake before leaving your table again.

“It seems he doesn’t really like either of us.”

“I’m going to reach out again, someone will listen. I didn’t volunteer for this to be stuck fake punching Hitler.” 

You laughed at the image and then he started laughing too. When you quieted down you sighed and looked out the window. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“How upset Erskine would be if he knew. How much I want to make those bastards pay and how much I missed you.”

Steve reached out and gently grabbed your hand, his thumb moving back and forth over your knuckles. “I’ve thought about you every single day.” He gives you a coy smile. “Come on, let’s enjoy the city while we can.” 

Steve stood up and dropped a couple of bills before offering you his hand, which you took happily. 

You walk around the city, sometimes in silence and taking it all in but mostly getting to know each other. He tells you more about his childhood and his best friend Bucky. You tell him more about your younger brother and your own best friend. But as it gets darker you know you have to part and the thought of not seeing him again saddens you. Before you realize it you’re standing on the front porch of your aunt’s house, the key in your hand while Steve stands behind you waiting for you to open the door and go in. Neither of you really want this night to end but he’s leaving for another city in the morning and you’ll have to start packing to return back home. 

The soft click of the lock echoes in the silence between you and you push the door open before turning to look at Steve. He gave you a half smile, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“So.” You both said at the same time making you both smile. 

“I guess this is it.” He said.

“I guess so.” 

Steve walked closer and placed a hand on your waist while the other cupped your cheek. Your own rested against his chest as you looked up at him.

“I’d really like to kiss you.” 

“I’d really like it if you did.” 

Steve moved until his lips were barely touching, still giving you the chance to back away. Instead you closed the small distance as your lips crashed against his. They were soft as they moved against yours, a sweet dance that turned passionate. You felt Steve’s hand move from your cheek to your neck so that he could deepen the kiss. His tongue explored your mouth as you moaned. But all too quickly he pulled back and cleared his throat. There was a blush creeping up on his cheeks and you smiled at him. 

“Would you like a drink?”

“I should head back, we leave early.”  His hands in his pocket.

“Of course.” You say. “Take care of yourself Steve.”

“You too. Maybe I can come find you back in New York once this is all over?” 

“I’d like that.” You smile at him again. “Bye Steve.” You say before walking into the house and closing the door. 

“Goodbye sweetheart.” He said to himself when he saw the light turn on.

You leaned against the door and wished he’d come in. The thought of him leaving again was going to hurt so much more the second time around. Turning back around you opened the door hoping that he wasn’t too far. Instead you find him walking up toward the porch. Steve stops in front of the steps and looks up at you. Your body, perfectly silhouetted against the light in of the living room. Slowly you walked out and down two of the three steps and found yourself eye level with Steve. 

“Is that drink still on the table?” 

“For you it is.” You grabbed his hand and led him inside. 

Once the door was closed Steve pulled you close and turned you around to push you against the door. His lips crashed into yours, it was messy and hurried and perfect. Your arms found their way around his broad shoulders. Steve left a myriad of kisses on your cheek and jaw and onto your neck, he nipped and kissed his way down to the collar of your dress. You grabbed his face and pulled him in for another kiss, this one slow but just as needy. Once you pulled back you patted Steve on the chest twice so that he would move back. 

“We should maybe move away from the living room.” You smiled as you grabbed his hand and pulled him toward your room.

Steve stands in the doorway, wanting to get closer to you again but still giving you a chance to stop. But you don’t want to stop, instead your hands reach for the belt that sits at your waist, made of the same fabric as your dress, and you pull on it. Then you start to undo the first button, your hands moving slowly as you keep your eyes on Steve. Arching one eyebrow at him.

“Are you going to stand there all night?” 

Your question seemed to have pulled him back into the moment as he closed the gap between the both of you. His hands fall to your waist before pulling you closer. 

“Are you sure?” 

“You’re the only thing I’m sure about Steve.” 

His lips are on yours in a flash and he swallows the small gasp you let out in surprise. Steve’s hands move from your waist to the front of your dress to undo a few more buttons before he pushes it off your shoulders. Once the dress hits the floor you step out of it, Steve’s hands are on your hips.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispers as he picks you up, walks over to the bed and sets you down. Steve’s eyes drag from top to bottom making your cheeks heat up and you realize how exposed you are to him at the moment.

You push the leather jacket he’s wearing off his shoulders before starting to unbutton his shirt. Once he’s shirtless Steve hovers over you, slightly unsure of what to do next. The feel of your hands on his bare skin makes him shudder. He would never admit at how many times he fantasized of this exact moment, or if you would ever even look at him as more than some science experiment. Steve could question your affection as much as he wanted but he knew you cared way before he ever received the serum. It was always there in the way you looked at him and the way you believed in him unconditionally. No one other than his ma and Bucky looked past the physical limitations but you did. Even now when your lips found their way to his jaw and your hands explored his body you showed him how much you wanted him. So he moved to make sure you felt how much you mean to him.

Steve’s touch was gentle but lit your skin aflame as he moved from your waist to your back to undo your bra. Your lips met his, moving in sync as your tongues fight for dominance. The feel of his hands on your breasts and the way his mouth moved down to explore your exposed chest. Steve kept his lust blown eyes on your face as his tongue swirled around your nipple. A small gasp escapes you as your hips buck against him. Your breath hitches as you feel Steve move down leaving kisses in his wake, for a moment he stops on the band of your panties. 

Those piercing blue eyes meet yours, his hands on your hips as he asks, “Can I taste you?” He hoped you didn’t hear the nervousness he felt, this was all new to him. Anything he knew was from when Bucky talked about it he just hoped that he remembered enough to make you feel good. 

“Yes.” The thought of him between your legs alone was enough to make you wet but this would be so much better. Steve slowly pulls down your panties and tosses them to the side. He leaves a trail of kisses up your calves then your thighs until he’s settled comfortably between them. He didn’t hesitate to swipe his tongue through your folds, an action that had him groaning and you bucking your hips. Steve took his time, finding what made your breath hitch just from him using his mouth so that he could do it over and over again. His tongue flicks against your clit causing you to mewl. Your hands find their way to his hair, pulling it as you begin to feel your orgasm build. 

“Steve,” You say as you feel him carefully slide a finger into your heat. Slowly he builds his pace before adding a second finger. The moan that leaves your lips when he curls his fingers is like music to his ears, and he wants to hear more. The feeling of you clenching around his fingers urges him to keep going. Steve works tongue over your clit before sealing his lips around the bundle of nerves. Your legs tremble and that coil in your belly tightens until it snaps. “I’m gonna-” you cut yourself off with a moan, your head thrown back and your eyes closed as your orgasm washes over you. 

You feel Steve move some hair out of your face and you smile as you open your eyes. 

“Was that ok?” 

You nod before pulling him down for a kiss and tasting yourself on his lips. Your hands travel down his body until you reach his trousers where you feel his hardened length. You’ve never been with a man before but you’re a nurse so that body part isn’t as foreign for you as it is for most women and one thing you know is that he’s big. But you don’t waste your time thinking about if he’ll fit, your fingers working quickly to undo the button but before you get to the zipper he stops you.

“We don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to.”

You smile up at him, of course he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable. “Of course I want to be with you Steve, I want everything with you.” 

He smiles down at you, his eyes bright and full of adoration and lust and his kiss swollen lips meet yours again as he lets go of your hand. The zipper is pulled down and you push down his pants before Steve kicks them off. The blonde begins to settle between your legs again before he pulls back and turns around asking for you to give him a second. You’re about to ask him if he’s ok before he bends down to grab his pants, pulling something out of his pocket. He holds it between two fingers, a condom. You sit up and move towards him, your chest pressed against his back as you kneel behind him you look over his shoulder. Grabbing it you rip open the condom, Steve turns his head to look at you confused at what you’re doing before he feels your hand on his cock. The tip already has a bead of precum as you move your thumb over it before you move up and down slowly. His breath gets caught in his throat as you move slightly faster. He wraps his hand around your wrist.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think I’ll last if you keep going.” He whispers before letting your wrist go. You kiss his cheek before moving to put the condom on and then moving back to the bed letting him settle back down between your spread legs. “Are you sure?” He asks one more time. His breath fanning across your lips as he hovers over you.

“Yes Steve, I’m sure. Please, I need to feel you.” 

You share a tender kiss as Steve lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in slowly. Once he bottoms out he rests his forehead against yours as he gives you time to adjust to his size. You feel so full with him even though there’s a little bit of pain. But you manage as you stare into those cerulean eyes that had burned themselves into your memory.

“Did you mean it?” 

“What?” You ask as you hold on to his biceps. 

“That you want everything with me. Because I’ll give you everything and anything you ask for.”

“I did, I want you.” 

His lips capture yours again as he begins to move languidly. The pain quickly morphed into pleasure the more you relaxed . Your back arches into him before you start to move against him. Steve picks up the pace as the pretty little sounds you make spur him on. He hides his face in the crook of your neck while his hands find yours, fingers intertwined above your head.

“So good Steve.” You moan as you throw your head back in pleasure. You’re on the edge again and Steve groans when you clench around him. 

Steve never thought he’d get a chance to be this intimate with a woman but now he’s glad it’s you. He’ll memorize the sounds you make, the blissed out look on your face, the way you chant his name like a prayer and the way you hold him close. Remembering how you came undone with his mouth on your clit, one of his hands snakes between both your bodies as he begins to circle where you want him most. The added stimulation has you falling off the edge with his name on your lips and your eyes closed. 

“Fuck you feel so good sweetheart.” He mutters as his pace becomes uneven. A few more thrusts has him spilling into the condom. 

Giving your hand a squeeze, Steve let’s go before shifting slightly and pulling out slowly. 

He peppers your face with kisses before moving to lay down beside you. After a few minutes you sit up and start to move towards the edge of the bed.

“Hey where are you going?” He asks, concerned.

“I’m going to Um- clean up.” 

“Don’t, stay here.” He gets up and removes the condom he used. Steve comes back with a hand towel soaked in warm water. He places a kiss on your forehead as the towel disappears under the blanket you were now covering yourself with. 

At the sensation of the towel between your legs you hiss and he stops. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

“No, I’m just a bit sensitive right now.” You move your hand to his and guide him on what to do. He discards the towel in the small laundry basket you have in the corner and gets back into bed holding his arms open for you to snuggle into him. 

Neither of you get much sleep, instead you enjoy each other’s company in comfortable silence. Time betrayed you, before you knew it Steve had to leave so that he could head to the next city on the U.S.O tour.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” You tell him when he gets up and starts getting dressed. 

“I wish I didn’t either.” He sits at the edge of the bed with his trousers and shoes on turning to look at you. It was a mistake because Steve finds a little pout and big doe eyes looking at him. “I’ll find you back in New York alright?”

“You promise?” You mentally curse yourself for sounding so insecure but you were in a very vulnerable position at the moment. Steve had been your first and you had been his. Now you wouldn’t be sure how long it would be before you saw him again. 

“Of course I promise. I can’t leave my best girl waiting.” 

He pulls a small smile from you with that. Steve leans in to steal a quick kiss and then proceeds to put on his shoes and his shirt followed by his jacket. 

“Promise me you’ll be careful on your way back home.” 

“I will.” You had grabbed your robe and tied it around your waist so that you could walk Steve out. 

His hands sit on your hips as he looks at you fondly. 

“I’ll see you soon, I swear.”

“I know.” You stand on your toes to reach his lips, kissing him passionately before pulling away from both the kiss and him. Already missing his warmth you unlock the door and open it for him. Steve leaves a chaste kiss on your forehead before stepping out onto the porch. 

“I’ll see you soon sweetheart.”

“Take care of yourself.” You wave him off and watch him disappear before closing the door. Little did you know you would see him sooner than you would think.

****************************

Even with the limited times you’ve been on a plane you could definitely say this was the worst flight of your life. The turbulence was awful and you were sure that your grip on the armrests would break them if you had any real strength. But when Howard found you at the hospital you worked at and offered you a job that would take you overseas you jumped at the chance. Now here you sat getting ready to land in the worst plane ever made just so that you could help in the war efforts. 

“How was the trip?” You’re greeted by a smiling Howard once you were able to get out of the plane. 

“I’m never getting on one of your planes again Howard.” you glared at him before smiling. 

“Oh come on it couldn’t have been so bad if you’re standing here.” 

He moved around and grabbed your suitcase as some of the other cargo was pulled out of the plane. 

“It really was. But I’m here in one piece and that’s all that matters. Now are you going to tell me what I’m meant to be doing? I know Colonel Phillips couldn’t have agreed to have me here.”

“He doesn’t really know, but that doesn’t matter because you are here as my assistant.” He offers you his arm considering the ground was uneven before leading you into the building. Howard dropped off your suitcase in his office before leading you into the main room of the building. The tension in the room was palpable as military personnel worked with urgency setting up maps and rearranging desks. Orders were being barked at the other end of the room by an all too familiar voice. There was a group of men huddled over one particular map which is where Howard was walking before he stopped. You looked at him to find him scanning the room, he stopped a pretty blond and asked for the captain. She directed him toward a corner of the room that had some shelves filled with boxes and documents. 

“This way.” Howard said with childlike glee. It was slightly contagious and you found yourself smiling at whatever it was you were being led to. A smile that slipped when you saw Steve walking from behind one of the shelves in his uniform, but that’s not what upset you, it was the red lipstick on his lips and the woman that walked out beside him. You made eye contact with Peggy first, a smirk on her face as her hand found Steve’s. He hadn’t seen you yet, instead he was wiping away the lipstick and when he felt Peggy grab his hand he pulled away. 

“What was that for?” He questioned her but he didn’t wait for an answer as he looked up at her and followed her line of sight, to find you standing next to Howard. He cursed under his breath when he saw the way your eyes shone with unshed tears. Howard whispered something in your ear and you turned to walk away. “Y/N?” Steve moved to follow you to explain what happened but he was stopped by the man that brought you here.

“Give her a minute.” 

“What is she even doing here Stark?”

“I need an assistant, the Commandos need a nurse and this division needs someone that can figure out what Hydra is doing. She was the person closest to Erskine and his research. If anyone can figure out what they’re doing it’s her.”

“If she gets hurt because of you I’ll end you.” 

“If you must.” 

Steve shakes his head as he walks past Howard to try and find you. 

“My office, Rogers.”  Howard says over his shoulder before he turns back to look at the Brunette across from him. A scowl on her face when their eyes meet. “What the hell was that Carter?” 

“None of your business.”

“You know how much she means to him and that I was bringing her into this. Did you do that just because he refused your advances?” 

Peggy squared her shoulders and she started to walk away. “Who cares that she was there when he was small and weak, he isn’t anymore. He doesn’t realize that he can do so much better.” 

Howard shakes his head before moving to his lab and where he told you to meet him at. He knew Steve would look for you so he told him to go to his private office to at least give you a few extra minutes. When he walked through the double doors he found you looking over some of Erskine’s documents, the ones that had been taken the day he was murdered. The saddened expression on your face warns him to give you some time alone, not only because of what you saw involving Steve and Peggy but because of what you were going over currently. It was like holding onto the last piece of the man that had given you a chance, one you thought had died with him that day, but here you are and you’re going to make it count. 

You saw Steve out of the corner of your eye cautiously approach the desk you were sitting at. He cleared his throat in order to get your attention but you ignored him. It hurt to have missed him so much only to see him with someone else. Whatever excuse he had ready could wait, you weren’t here for romance, you were here to help end a war. It seemed however that Steve didn’t get the memo as he hovered beside you with his hands behind his back. You kept stealing glances at him and your resolve was slowly crumbling as you saw how handsome he looked in his uniform and how upset he looked at the fact that you were ignoring him.

Steve had enough of being ignored so he crouched down and swiveled your chair around so you had no choice but to look at him. Your eyes met his for a moment before you looked away, trying not to imagine him and Peggy kissing. 

“Sweetheart,”

“Don’t call me that.” you huff.

“What else am I supposed to call my best girl?” 

“Am I?” you fidget with a piece of thread that had been pulled from your shirt to try and keep your hands busy.

“Of course you are. Peggy just grabbed me and the moment she kissed me I pulled away.” His large hands envelope yours as he tilts his head to get a better look at you. “You gotta believe me Sweetheart. There’s no one I wanna kiss except you.”

“I guess, I could think about forgiving you.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, but only because I missed you.” His eyes sparkle even against the ill lit room when you look back at him. Leaning forward your lips grace his before you ask, “It didn’t mean anything right?”

“Absolutely not.” His lips capture yours, reminding you of the softness of not only his lips but of the man that’s before you. Steve could be rough if he wanted to but instead he was gentle and sweet and this kiss was proof. He smirked when you pulled back, trying to catch your breath. Now his lips were stained with your own lipstick and his hands remained on yours, neither of you aware of the woman that watched it unfold. 

****************************************************

“What about this one?” Steve grabbed a circular shield discarded by Howard as he was showing Steve the design for his Captain America uniform. He looked at you and held it in front of him and asked, “What do you think?” 

“Let’s see.” Peggy, who had been walking by stopped, grabbed a gun that was on the table. To your horror she pointed the gun at Steve and fired it three times, all three bullets hitting the shield and then the floor. “Seems like it works.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You fumed behind her, she only shrugged in your direction.

“I was only testing the quality of the shield.”

“You don’t do that while someone is holding it.”

“He’ll live.” she scoffs and walks away. 

Steve handed the shield to Howard confirming that it was the one he wanted to use. Making his way over to you, Steve grabs your chin so that you can see that he’s ok. 

“Hey, I’m fine. Really.” 

“That’s not the point. She’s been nothing but a bitch since I got here. And now she’s being reckless.” You scowl.

“It’s only for a couple of more days. We’ll be heading out soon enough. Now do you have a few minutes there’s someone I want you to meet.” 

“Yeah, lead the way my Captain.” 

Steve led you down the main corridor toward what everyone referred to as the war room. It’s where the higher ups meet to make plans on where to go next. He opened the door to let you in first before walking in behind you. You found a group of men sitting around a map, none of them bothered to look up since someone was always coming and going from the room. There was a mixture of laughter and loud conversation happening amongst them.

“Hey fellas, there’s someone I would like you to meet.” The room fell quiet as all eyes fell on you and Steve, but mostly you. “This is Y/N, she’s going to be with us on the field. She’ll be acting as our nurse but also working with Stark to figure out what hydra is trying to do.” 

Steve introduces each of the men. Dugan, Jones, Morita, Falsworth and Dernier all were part of the Howling Commandos. 

“And this is Sergeant Barnes.” Steve beams at the brunette who has a smirk on his face. “My second in command and my best friend.” 

“You’re Bucky?”  Your eyes light up. 

“I sure am darling. It’s nice to finally meet you in person, thought for a minute this punk was making you up.” 

You giggle when you look back at Steve, finding him as red as a tomato due to his friend’s words. 

“Well it’s nice to meet you too. I demand you tell me all of Steve’s embarrassing stories.” 

“Oh I’ve got plenty.” he gives Steve a shit eating grin. “I like her already.” 

Steve grumbles under his breath something about being ganged up on by his girl and his friend before he starts ushering you out of the room. 

“Oh before I forget.” you stop and turn around to look at the men. “I’ll need you to come by Howard’s office first thing tomorrow, I would like to complete a check up on all of you so that I can have a baseline of where you are health wise.” 

“Yes ma’am.” they reply before waving you off. 

**************************************

You’d spent the day in your corner of the lab going over test results for the commandos. They were healthy enough considering they were in the middle of a war and about to head into dangerous missions. But right now you were looking for one person in particular. After searching the base you finally head outside to find Bucky lying down and hiding  behind some bushes. 

“What are you doing?” He jumps at the sound of your voice. 

“You shouldn’t go scaring someone that’s holding a gun darling.” He said as he rolled on to his side. At the look of concern on your face he sits up. “What’s wrong?” 

“I need to take your blood again.”

“Is something wrong? Am I sick? I don’t feel sick.” 

“No nothing like that but I’d rather double check with a newer sample before I say anything.”

“Alright well let’s go I guess.” 

He stands up, grabbing his gun and starts to follow you.

“So what were you doing?” 

“Target practice. Just trying to stay sharp, you know.” 

You hum in understanding. Stopping once in a while to let other people walk by the large field. 

“Steve’s crazy about you, ya know.” Bucky says after a beat of silence. “I don’t think I’ve seen him this happy before.” 

“I’m crazy about him too.” Warmth creeps up to your cheeks at the thought of Steve. 

“Good, just please don’t hurt him. He’s a good man and an even better friend. Also he’s talked my ear off because he’s so smitten by you. I really wouldn’t want to deal with a heartbroken Steve.” 

You laugh just as you spot Steve in the distance, walking toward both of you. “I don’t plan on hurting him one bit.” You say before the blond stops in front of you. 

“Is everything ok?” He asks with his hands on his hips. 

“Yeah I’m just going to rerun some tests on Bucky. I’ll meet you at the lab.” You tell Bucky before stealing a kiss from Steve. 

He watches you leave with a dusting of pink on his cheek. 

“Jesus, could you at least not make it so obvious you’re ogling her.” 

“I’m not. Just making sure she gets in the building safely.”

“Yeah sure. Nothing to do with imagining all the dirty things you’d -“ Steve’s hand clamps over Bucky’s mouth to shut him up.

“Don’t talk about my girl like that jerk.” 

“Sir, yes sir.” He gives a quick salute before laughing. “You hurt her though and I'll kick your ass punk.” 

“I’m not planning on it.” 

•••••••••••

After running some tests again you confirmed your suspicions. Quickly you went back to find Buck and Steve. Fortunately you find them with Howard this time. With as much as you trusted Stark this was a sensitive matter so you pulled both men into an office so that the conversation was private. 

“Bucky, do you remember what they did to you when you were held?” You ask seriously.

“It’s a bit fuzzy but I remember being on an operating table or something. That’s where Steve found me.”

“Anything other than that. No needles or syringes or medicine?” 

“Sweetheart what’s going on?”

“I do remember being strapped to a chair and someone putting a needle in my arm but I couldn’t really see what they were doing.” 

It’s what you feared and the panicked look on Bucky’s face wasn’t helping. 

“I know what Hydra is doing, or partially anyways. They’re trying to recreate Erskine’s serum.” You look between both of them. 

“Wait, so what you’re saying is that Bucky also has the serum?”

You take a deep breath as you try to gather your thoughts. 

“Yes and no. He has a version of the serum but not the same one as you. It’s missing components. So while Bucky is now stronger and more agile it’s not at the same level as you are.” 

“Is that why I can’t get drunk?” Bucky asked, stunned at the news. 

“Most likely. Now I can fix it but it will take a bit of time.”

“You can get rid of the serum?” Steve frowned at the possibility.

“No but I can create an altered version with the missing components so that you have the full effects. What do you say?” You anxiously wait for his answer. It’s a bit of a shot in the dark but why not have two super soldiers instead of one. 

“Do it.” 

“Ok, I’ll let you know when I have it ready. Also it’s better if we keep this between ourselves for now.”

Both men nod as you leave the office. Steve eyes Bucky worriedly.

“Stop staring, didn’t your Ma teach you it’s rude.” Bucky huffs. “I’m fine, I have been for weeks now. Besides, I'm in your girl’s very capable hands.” 

“You’re right. Let's finish prepping for the first mission.” 

***********************

The first mission had been a success. The commandos managed to clear out another weapons manufacturing factory for hydra. While most of them helped Stark look over some of the weapons, you had worked your way through the offices trying to find any information that might give you more insight as to how far along they are with the serum.  You knew they had something already based on Bucky’s lab results but it wasn’t the full picture. 

There were abandoned desks everywhere but you focused on offices. The higher ups in the organization would be the ones to have any important information. Time slipped away from you as you found some interesting leads but nothing on the serum. 

“There you are.” Steve’s voice broke the silence. You only hummed in acknowledgment. “What are you up to?” He asked as he rounded the corner and began to look over your shoulder. “This is all in German. Can you read it?” 

“Yeah, when I was younger my neighbor used to watch me and my brother  and she barely spoke English. We were young enough to learn German without realizing it.” 

“Ok, well we’re moving out in 5.” Steve smiles as he places a chaste kiss at the top of your head. 

“I’m done here anyways. Nothing for me but I did find some leads for you.” You stood as you handed him a notebook with a map tucked into it.

“I’ll take all the help I can get.”

“Really?” You asked, giving him a mischievous look. With every step you took forward he took one back until he was pressed between your body and the wall. An amused look gracing his face.

“Have I told you how good you look in this uniform?” 

He shakes his head, the hint of pink disappearing under the cowl he was wearing.

“Well you do. Very handsome… maybe I can take it off sometime.” Your hands found their place on Steve’s chest as you reached up to kiss him. 

“Whenever you two are done in there we’re ready to leave.” Bucky’s voice rang out. Immediately you went to the door and stuck your head out glaring at him.

“Spoilsport.” 

“You love me!” He winks at you before heading back outside. 

“No I don’t.” You shout after him. 

Steve stood at the door watching the interaction with a smile on his face.

“We should go,” he lowers his head so that he can whisper in your ear. “But trust me that I’ll let you take anything you want off of me sweetheart.” 

•••••••••••••••

As the night went on the commandos found shelter in an abandoned cabin. Dugan and Morita were first to take watch as the rest settled inside. The fireplace was being used and everyone took a corner so that they could rest. You sat on the floor by a window, writing in your notebook as you worked on a modified version of the serum for Bucky. 

“What are you working on?” Steve asked as he sat next to you.

“Research.” You looked from him to Bucky who was adding some logs to the fire. A silent understanding passed between you. 

After a few more minutes of writing you put your notebook away in the pack you carried with you. You laid your head on Steve’s shoulder and sighed, tired from the day’s events.

“Go to sleep sweetheart. I’m right here.” 

“What about you?” A yawn escapes you. 

“I’ll be fine, I’ll nap in a little bit.” 

“Ok.” You said with your eyes already closed. You felt Steve place a kiss on the top of your head before drifting off to sleep. 

***************************

The next few months were the same. Bring down a hydra base, research and move on. It was a uniquely devastating situation to be in. There were many times in which you were close to losing one or several of the commandos during those missions. Fortunately your medical pack was always stocked and if it wasn’t hydra bases had the medical supplies you needed. 

On one occasion, which caused yours and Steve’s first fight, you almost lost Falsworth after a group of hydra soldiers cornered him. He had been shot twice and although you were supposed to wait until you got the all clear from Steve to come down, you knew he wouldn’t hold on that long. So you move from your hiding spot, running for cover in between tanks and crates until you get to the fallen commando. You open your bag immediately and begin to look for what you’ll need. 

“Ok Falsworth I’m going to move your shirt.” You say as you grab the hem and pull up. He winces between ragged breaths. 

“Yo-you shouldn’t.” He groans as you touch the entry points to clean the area. “Be here. Rogers, he-he’ll be mad.” 

“And that will be my problem when the time comes, but I’m not gonna let you die out here.” 

There’s an explosion somewhere behind you and gunfire picks up. 

“Behind you.” Falsworth warns and you turn in time to see hydra soldiers, guns drawn and headed towards you. 

“Shit.” 

You jump over Falsworth and grab his gun. Turning, you aim and fire, taking down one soldier. Another one falls as you shoot the third. Dropping the gun you turn back to your patient and work quickly, removing the bullets before stitching him up. 

“Well look at that, it seems like you’ll live another day.” Dugan said as he approached. It’s when you realized the gunfire had ceased. Dugan helps Falsworth up. 

“He’ll need rest for a couple of days but he should be good.” You tell Dugan, “I’ll keep an eye on the healing to make sure you don't get an infection.” 

Dugan pulled Falsworth with him and you kneeled to grab your medical bag from the floor. Two sets of footsteps approached as you finished grabbing your tools and putting them back in your bag. 

“What were you thinking? You can’t just run down into the field like that.” Steve said sternly when he stopped in front of you. 

“I was thinking that I was going to help someone that was hurt. A fellow soldier and a friend.” You looked at him, he was staring at you with a mixture of worry and anger. Bucky, who was standing beside him, was slightly amused although you could tell he had also been worried. “Thank you for the back up Buck.”

“You’re welcome darling.” 

“That was dangerous and reckless.” 

Bucky took a few steps back until he was able to sneak away from the impending lover’s quarrel. You moved around Steve to head towards the now abandoned building. 

“That’s rich coming from you.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means.” You stopped and turned around to find Steve right behind you. “You’re reckless all the time.”

“It’s my job.”

“And it’s mine too. We’re in the middle of the war. It's dangerous all the time and I wasn’t going to let someone die if I can help them.” 

Steve put his hands on his hips and sighed. He knew you were right but just the thought of losing you scared him. You gave him hope for a future he thought he would never have and as long as you were both in the middle of this war there was a chance that he could lose it. Ever since you came into his life, especially after Chicago, he began to dream of settling down and having a family. Steve wanted everything with you but he also knew that you wanted more than to just be a housewife. It was something he admired deeply and he would be there to support you all the way. Still he cared about you so much that his instinct was to protect you more than anything else. 

“I’m going inside.” You said before turning back and walking towards the building. 

“I’ll keep an eye on her Cap.” 

“Thanks Jones.” Steve said as Jones walked by. He turned to the other commandos to find them watching him, talking amongst themselves. Joking as they shook their heads at the blond super soldier. “What?”

“Nothing.” 

They liked to tease him, it was very obvious the way he looked at you with heart eyes. They didn’t dare tease you though. You were like a little sister to them but you were fierce and you weren’t scared to put them in their place if needed. 

“Hey Cap, she said she needs you and Barnes in there.” Jones had walked out about half an hour later. 

“Thanks Jones.” 

Bucky and Steve made their way into the building. All that was there was scattered papers and fallen hydra soldiers but they passed by everything and headed towards the lab where Jones said you would be at. They found you hunched over some documents and your notebook as you wrote quickly. 

“Is everything ok?” Steve asked as they walked in.

“I finished it.” You looked up with a smile. “I found what I needed to complete the formula and I have everything I need here I can finish the serum. What do you say?” 

“Let’s do this.” Bucky nodded, he was terrified but ever since Steve found him he hadn’t felt quite himself. He hoped this would be what was missing. 

Both men watched as you moved around the room as if you’d always worked there. You turned when you were ready and you motioned for Bucky to sit on an exam table. He removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeve and watched as you cleaned an area on his forearm. Steve stood just behind you and watched as you injected Bucky with the modified serum, waiting for something to happen. 

“That should be it.” You say as you step back and look at Bucky.

“Is something supposed to happen?”

“No-“ you’re interrupted by Bucky’s quick and shallow breathing. His hand comes to his chest and his eyes go wide. “Bucky tell me what’s wrong.” You say as you rush back to him but he falls to his side with eyes closed. He’s not breathing anymore and you try not to panic. 

“Buck!” Steve called out but he felt stuck where he stood. 

You moved to lay bucky flat on his back to figure out what was wrong when he sits back up causing you to scream.

“I’m just playing darling.” He says before he starts laughing at your startled expression. Steve has his head thrown back and his hand on his chest laughing at what happened.

“That’s not funny!” You cross your arms over your chest and glare at the brunette.

“Oh come on, you should have seen your face.” 

Bucky jumps off the table and throws an arm around your shoulder, as he continues to laugh. You fail miserably to hide your smile before elbowing him in the ribs and walking away from his grasp.

“I’m sorry darling. I just couldn’t help it.”

“You’re not sorry at all.” 

“You’re right I’m not.” He gives you a shit eating grin.

“Come on, I need to take your blood.” 

Bucky sits back up on the table and lets you do what you need to do before you dismiss him. You move towards the microscope with your notebook and the blood sample in hand, aware that Steve is still in the room.

“Everything looks good.” You say after a few minutes. 

“That’s good.” 

“Yeah.” You say as you look back up at Steve. 

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I Steve.”

He walks closer to you with a hand stretched out and you take it. Steve pulls you towards him.

“I just want to keep you safe. So that we can go back home and I can take you on a proper date.” 

“What are we doing on this proper date?” You say as your arms wrap around his neck.

“I have it all planned out but it’s a surprise.”

“I like surprises.” 

“Me too sweetheart.” Steve leans down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. 

“Come on, let's stop these assholes so we can go home.” 

“Language.” 

You smile over your shoulder as you pull him out of the lab.

************************************

Howard had managed to take the commandos from their last location in the middle of nowhere back to France. The commanding officers Colonel Philips included wanted an update from Steve so that they could figure out the next steps. The end of the war was near and everyone knew it. And as the holidays happened to be near you were given a small reprieve from being out chasing down hydra. The commandos had been given a few bedrooms at a hotel that was abandoned and then turned into a command center. Everyone enjoyed being able to shower properly and have some privacy. 

Before you’re able to walk into the bathroom there’s a knock on your door and you’re not surprised to find Steve on the other side. When you open the door he rushes inside already dressed in his formal uniform looking as handsome as ever. His arms wrap around your waist as he kicks the door closed and pushes you against it. His lips find yours in a heated kiss and when he pulls away you’re gasping for air.

“Hi.” 

“Hi.” You giggle. 

“I feel like we’ve been here before.” He teases.

“Mm-Hmm. Chicago was very special.” 

“It was. But I’m only here for a few minutes. I know you’re going to get ready for tonight. I just wanted to give you something.” He pulls a slim box out of his pocket and presents it to you. “I got this back home, after Chicago. Thought I was going back to New York instead of heading to war.”

You reach out and open it to find a gold necklace with a heart shaped locket. “Steve, it’s beautiful.” When you open the locket you find a picture of Steve tucked inside and you smile. 

“Since I have your picture in my compass I thought that you could, I don’t know, have mine here.” 

“It’s perfect, I love it. I’ll never take it off.” 

You placed the locket in the box before wrapping your arms around him again and kissing him deeply. 

“I’ll-uh I’ll let you get ready I’ll see you down there ok.” 

“Ok.” You smile up at him before taking the necklace from him.

The pub is full of soldiers, laughter and music. All eyes are on you as you walk in. You had to remember to thank Howard before the night was done for convincing you to bring a dress with you. Your hair was up and out of your face and your make up was minimal and you wore the locket Steve had given you happily. The commandos were sitting towards the back and close to the bar. From the sound of their lively conversation it seemed like most of them were already drunk and the sight of several empty glasses confirmed it. 

“There she is!” Dugan pointed as you walked toward their table. The other men whistled and whooped as you got closer. “Well don’t you clean up nice.” 

“Well thank you Dum Dum, I could say the same for you. Even Barnes looks presentable.” 

“Darling you wound me.” Bucky places a hand over his heart with a pout on his face. 

“Yeah well it’s what you deserve.” You feel a hand on your lower back and turn to see Steve standing next to you.

“You look beautiful, sweetheart.” 

“You look quite dashing yourself.” 

This causes the others to tease as you both stare at each other with heart eyes and matching dopey grins. 

“Dance with me?” He says with an outstretched hand.

“Of course.” 

“We want a dance too.” You hear Falsworth call out.

“I’m sure Steve will be more than happy to dance with all of you once we’re done.” You wink at them before turning and walking towards the makeshift dance floor.

The small band made up of soldiers started playing a slow song. One of Steve’s hands went to your waist while the other held your hand, leaving you to put your free hand on his shoulder. 

“I have to be honest, I'm not really good at dancing.” he confessed, almost as if it were an actual sun.

“You’ve never danced before?” 

“Not really, no girls wanted to dance with me before.”

“Idiots.” You scoff.

“Would you?” He asked as he swayed with you.

“Would I what?”

“Have danced with me, you know before the serum.” 

“Of course I would have. Pre Serum you has a very special place in my heart.” You smile up at him. 

“I love you.” Steve said it so easily it was like he had said it a thousand times before and not for the first time ever. 

“I love you too.” 

Both his hands are on your waist as he pulls you in and kisses you, passionately and deep. The hoop and hollering from the commandos have you pulling back sooner than you would have liked. 

“Well this is a nice first date.”

“Absolutely not. I want a proper first date and I have it all planned out.”

“So what is this plan?”

“Nuh-uh, it’s a surprise.” He smiles before giving you another kiss. “I will tell you that it will be the start of the rest of our lives.”

“I like the sound of that.”

When the music stops Bucky walks up and asks for a dance which you happily accept. The song is slightly more up beat and you can tell that he is definitely the more experienced dancer. You laugh with Bucky as he spins you around and he tells you stories of his and Steve’s adventures. Half way through the dance you see Howard and Peggy walk in. She makes her way to Steve quickly which earns an eye roll from you. 

This time when the music stops Howard walks over, without asking he takes your hand and leads you in a dance. But your eyes are on Steve who reluctantly accepts Peggy’s invitation for a dance. 

“With the look on your face someone might think I’m a terrible dance partner.” Howard’s voice cuts through your thoughts. 

“Sorry, it’s just…” you motion with your head towards them.

“Ah yes, well you shouldn’t worry. Steve only had eyes for you, no matter how much Peggy throws herself at him.” 

“Well she looks pathetic, and desperate.” 

Howard chuckles at your words. 

“How is the research going?” 

“It’s going well. Did you get the information I sent you?”

“Yes I did very interesting but something is missing.”

“I agree, but I’m close to the last part of the serum’s breakdown. I think we’ll have a new version out soon. Hydra isn’t even close to it from what I’ve found.” 

“Well at least that’s good news.” 

You look over to see Steve stepping away and leaving Peggy in the middle of the dance floor. He looks furious and he heads out the door. 

“Howard, if you'll excuse me.” 

“Of course. It was good seeing you stay safe.” 

“You too.” You head out the door and look for Steve, finding him around the corner from the building. 

“Hey what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing. I just left before I said something I would regret to Peggy.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“She wanted to go back to my room. I told her that I wasn’t interested. I love you but she won’t accept that. And- you know what it doesn’t matter because I’m here with you.”

“So would you be willing to go back to my room with me?” You say with a bit of a smirk.

“I’d go to the ends of the earth with you, sweetheart.” 

“Come on then, the end of the earth is this way.” 

He chuckles as he lets you grab his hand and pull him down the street toward the hotel you’re staying at. Not even halfway through the walk some soldiers get into a fight and Steve stops.

“Why don’t you go on ahead, I’ll take care of them.” 

“Ok.” You kiss his cheek. “I love you.” You whisper before you keep walking down the street. 

Right as you’re about to walk into your room you feel hands around your waist and you turn your head to look at Steve and panic sets in. You fight to try and free yourself from the hold whoever it is has on you but it’s not working. The hotel is practically empty and no one hears your pleas for help.

In that moment you knew that the last time you ever saw Steve was down in that street.

*********************************

You take a deep breath as your eyes flutter open. The cold from the chamber you’re in seeps into your bones. You feel disoriented as the chamber door opens and you wait for whoever is going to drag you into the lab but no one comes. On shaky legs you step out, holding on to the edge of the cryogenic chamber and you look around. The room is empty which is unusual. It’s usually full of hydra soldiers and technicians but you finally think it’s your chance to escape. You aren’t even sure how long it’s been since they put you in there but it doesn’t matter. If you can escape and find anyone you can hopefully get back to Steve and that’s all you want. Knowing him, he’s probably blaming himself for what hydra did. You open the metal door slowly, listening for anyone that might be wandering in the corridor. When you’re satisfied that it’s empty you walk out. The silence is good you think, it might mean that Steve and the commandos found you and they’re just working their way down to this level. 

After a few more steps you see someone turn a corner and you’re stuck where you stand. Not sure if they’re friend or foe you panic thinking they might be the latter.

“Y/N?” 

You recognize that voice. It’s a friendly voice and you’re flooded with relief. They walk closer and the light from the window illuminates Bucky’s face.

“Y/N, is that really you?” 

“Bucky!” You choke out before you take a few steps towards him. Bucky bridges the gap as he drops his weapons. His arms wrap around you in a comforting hug.

“Oh darling, I didn’t think I’d see you again.” 

You can’t even respond as you cry into his chest. 

“We have a friendly I’ll be right up.” 

You look up at him confused as to who he might be talking to but he ignored the look you gave him.

“Can you walk?”

“Barely. I’m not sure how long I’ve been in that thing.” Your throat is dry and your voice comes out raspy.

“It's ok, I’ve got you. Just give me a sec.” 

He grabs the gun he had dropped and he holsters it before scooping you up bridal style. He moves fast up the hallways and climbs the stairs two or three at a time. Bucky held on tight to you, he was shocked that he’d found you well and he was sure that the news of you being ok. You blinked a few times trying to adjust to the bright rays of the sun, it made you wonder how long had hydra kept you in those labs. 

“Can you open your eyes for me darling?” 

You blink slowly as you look up at Bucky. He gives you a lopsided smile before moving around you. You were currently strapped down in a seat but Bucky was there so you weren’t scared.

“You’re most likely dehydrated so we’re going to give you an IV ok.” 

“Did you replace me as the team nurse?” 

You hear him chuckle beside you. It is when you first look around and you’re again confused by your surroundings and then wherever you’re in moves. 

“It’s ok, You’re on a jet.” Bucky reassures you. “Clint is flying the jet.” Bucky pointed toward the front of the plane. “And this is my friend Nat, she’s going to help with the IV.” 

You look over to find a redhead walking towards you. She nods and gives you a small smile. She’s wearing a black suit that’s very form fitting and you look at her confused. Nat works quickly and sets up the IV, only doing so because Bucky’s hands were shaking so much.

“When did they change the nurses uniform? Have I been out that long?” You ask and you notice the way Nat looks at Bucky, concern written on her face and you turn to look at Bucky. He won’t meet your eyes. “Bucky, what’s going on? And where’s Steve and the others?” 

“Darling…” his voice cracks and a tear slips down his cheek. 

“Buck please, how long has it been since the night at the pub?” 

“It’s been 72 years.” He whispers and you gasp. 

“That’s not possible. Where are the others? Howard and Dum Dum, the rest of the commandos?” 

He looks at you with tears in his eyes before he looks away. Bucky shakes his head. They’re gone, all of them and it breaks your heart. How is it possible you had seen them a few weeks ago, they were supposed to find you and everything was going to be ok. You cry for all of your friends.

“Steve’s alive.” Nat offers.

“Did he live a good life?” 

“Barely, he’s missed you too much. He blames himself.” 

“Will you take me to see him?” 

“As soon as we land. I promise. Why don’t you get some rest.”

“I still don’t understand how you look so young.”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“Ok.” You say before your eyes close.

*****************************

“Darling, wake up.” Bucky says. “Y/N are you with me?” 

“I am.” 

“Let’s get you up.” You open your eyes to see him stand and move around to undo the IV. “We’re going to land in about 5 minutes.”

“Ok.” 

You look down as you prepare yourself for whatever is going to happen next. If it really had been so long since you were taken that means you have no one left and you weren’t sure how you were going to survive now. Bucky was there and of course he would help you, you know that but your family is gone and you never had a chance to say goodbye. The life you wanted next to Steve is gone too. The thought of seeing him is turning your stomach into knots and you can’t even picture him looking much older. You try to picture him with graying hair but it hurts too much that you didn’t get to grow old together. 

“Alright darling let’s go.” Bucky offers you his arm as he leads you down the ramp of the jet. 

There’s two men waiting by the landing pad. One of them was shorter with glasses while the other was taller and he was vaguely familiar. Nat and who you assume is Clint walk by you and into the building.

“Y/N this is Dr. Bruce Banner and this is Tony Stark, Howard’s son.” Bucky introduces you and you stare at Tony wide eyed. 

“Hi, I-uh I worked with your father.” 

“I know, he talked about you all the time.” 

“And I’m a fan of your work.” Bruce offered his hand and you gladly accepted it. 

“My work?”

“Yes, your notebook that was recovered in your room. It had a lot of great work in it. I’d love to go over it with you and show what scientists were able to do with your information.”

“I would like that very much.” You gave both men a small smile.

“I know that you must be feeling confused about all of this.” Tony waved his hand around. “But just know that we have a place for you here and if you need anything you just let me know.” 

“Thank you Tony.” 

“Alright we have one more stop before we get you settled.” Bucky says as he guides you towards the entrance. You follow him down a hallway and go up a few floors, having to stop a few times because you’re just tired. Bucky tries to explain the different floors but you can’t keep up. As you turn a corner Bucky explains that you're in the housing section of the compound and that most of the avengers, which he also explained on the way to this floor, lived at. Nat was already standing at a specific floor with another man. 

“You must be Y/N, it’s great to finally meet you. I'm Sam.” He walks over to you and offers you his hand which you shake.

“Hi Sam.” 

“The door is locked.” Nat informs Bucky, causing him to sigh.

“Friday, unlock the door.” 

“Sergeant James Barnes access granted.” You hear someone say and you look around for the source.

“That was the building talking.” 

“What?” 

“I’ll explain later. Come in.” Bucky opens the door and you look at Sam and Nat as they both take a black square out of their pockets.

“What are those?” You ask them.

“Later.” They say in unison. 

You walk in behind Bucky into an apartment. Although everything you’ve seen so far is new and you don’t understand half of it, this place feels like home. It has many of the things you do recognize and you think it belongs to Bucky but then you hear him call out. 

“Hey punk, get out here.” 

Your heart starts racing at the thought of seeing Steve so soon. There’s no going back now. Before you can escape you hear a door open and you brace yourself to see the love of your life. Then your breath hitches because he’s standing across the living room and he looks upset. Bucky  and Sam are blocking you from his view but you can see him clearly. He’s still the Steve you left behind. 

“What is it?” He asks as he plays with something in his hand.

“I have a surprise for you.” 

“Buck I’m not in the mood fo-“ his words are caught in his throat when Bucky moves to the side. Steve’s mouth was slightly parted and his eyes were open wide as he stared at you.

“Steve.” You say softly, your voice still slightly raspy but it’s music to his ears. 

Steve is stuck, frozen in place and he feels as if the wind’s been knocked out of him. You stood in front of him looking exactly how you did the night he lost you. He wanted to touch you, to hold you in his arms so that he knew it wasn’t another dream but he swore his feet were glued down. It didn’t matter because you moved towards him, in fact you ran and his arms opened just in time to catch you. And suddenly it wasn’t a dream anymore because you were there and he felt your tears on his shirt. When you pulled back he looked into those bright eyes he adored so much. 

“Sweetheart. Please tell me I’m not dreaming.” He whispered. 

“I’m here. This is real.” 

You cupped his face with both your hands and he put his forehead against yours. As his tears fell you wiped them away. 

“I’ve missed you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t find you. I should have tried harder.”

You pulled him in with a kiss to quiet his apology. He kissed you back with everything he had. 

“It’s not your fault. Hydra knew I worked with Erskine, they wanted the formula. I know you did everything you could to find me.” 

“It wasn’t enough.” 

“I’m here now and so are you. That’s all that matters.”

“They’re so cute. I’m gonna send this to everyone.” You heard behind you and you turned to find Sam, Nat and Bucky watching you, each of them with a smile on their face. 

“Ok that’s enough.” Steve tells them.

“Oh come on, she’s my friend and I did find her.” 

“But she’s my girl, now get out.” 

“I’ll see you later though right Bucky?” 

“Of course darling.” He walked towards you and wrapped you in another hug and as he pulled away you noticed his left arm. “It’s a long story and I’m sure I’ll explain everything later.” He kissed your forehead and left, taking Nat and Sam with him.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?” 

“No, yes, maybe. I just can’t believe it’s been 72 years.” You turn to look at him. “How do you still look the same age?” 

Steve sat you down and explained everything that happened after you disappeared. He told you about everything they did to try and find you and Bucky’s fall from the train. His fight against Red Skull and how he said you were dead. The plane full of bombs that he crashed and how he himself woke up in the future.  

“Steve, I can't imagine how that must have been for you.” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” He cupped your cheek, his thumb swiping back and forth while he looked at you. Steve studied your face and you did the same. “I have something for you.” 

“What?” 

He pulls out what he was playing with when he first walked out from his pocket.

“My locket!” 

“I found it on the floor that night.” You turned so he could put it on.

“I know there’s a lot for you to figure out, so what do you want to do first? Are you tired, do you want to rest?”

You shake your head. “I want what you promised me.” 

“What I promised?” He tilts his head slightly confused.

“Yes, a date. A proper one.”

Steve smiled and pulled you into his lap so that you could straddle him. You yelped in surprise as your hands landed on his chest. One hand was on your waist while the other cupped your cheek.

“A proper date it is.” He said before pulling you in to kiss you. 

Part 2

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