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scoobydoodean · 5 months ago

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Hi im a samgirl and i dont mind if others feel differently about this but if you are interested in a samgirl perspective, the short story to sam's allegorical queerness is that sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family. He felt that there was something dirty or unclean about himself which is how a lot of marginalized queer children feel growing up. It's not that queerness itself is monstrous but that society and the patriarchal family unit will cast queerness as the monstrous Other, which is why monstrosity is a pretty common queer allegory.

I keep getting asks about queer Sam and I'm not sure exactly why, other than people maybe assume I have a strong opinion about it. The simple truth is that I just don't find what's said about it compelling so it doesn't interest me. I have no issue with other people exploring it and don't have any desire to ruin anyone's fun. It's just that I don't personally see it when I dig deeper than the surface level of "he felt different" and examine why and exactly what Sam actually wanted and why he felt that way. I will get into that here to an extent I guess because I was asked in another piece of mail what my opinions were, but I don't intend it as an "argument" to start a fight or to dismantle anyone else's perception—just an explanation of my personal lack of interest in this particular type of meta.

First, I don't think "Sam grew up feeling fundamentally different from his family" works for me as a queer meta when the reason Sam felt "fundamentally different" was that—according to his own early framing—he was the normal one trapped in a family of freaks who wanted him to be a freak like them.

Sam says in 1.08 that he felt different from Dean and John, but when we read on to see why, he says it's because he wanted to play soccer instead of being a child soldier.

SAM Because I didn't wanna bowhunt or hustle pool - because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which, to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. DEAN Yeah, you were kind of like the blonde chick in The Munsters.

For people too young to get "the blonde chick in The Munsters", Dean is referring to Marilyn Munster, who was the one "normal" person in a family of monsters in a 1960s sitcom.

In childhood flashbacks in 4.13, Sam refuses to fight Dirk at first even though he could easily best him using the skills he learned from their father.

YOUNG DEAN That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you? YOUNG SAM Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal.

In both situations, Sam views his family and what they do as freakish and wants to distinguish himself as the one normal one trapped in a family of monsters who is at threat of becoming like them by pure association and family pressure.

YOUNG SAM Yeah, my, aah -- my dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too. MR. WYATT Do you want to go in the family business, Sam? YOUNG SAM No one's ever asked me that before. MR. WYATT Well? YOUNG SAM More than anything, no.

In 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon, one of Sam's greatest childhood memories is getting to sit down for Thanksgiving dinner in a normal, upper middle class household instead of sitting around with "A bucket of extra-crispy and Dad passed out on the couch."

In 1.01, he says he wants to be nothing like his family. He says he is normal unlike them when Dean is telling him they're the same:

DEAN You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are. SAM And who's that? DEAN You're one of us. SAM No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life.

Sam sees the upbringing that he has in common with Dean as something almost... humiliating—to the point that he plans to lie to Jess forever about how he was raised and about his family (1.01).

All of this to say... when the queer allegory I'm being sold is that a guy is queer because he wants to go to college, get married, have 2.5 kids, go no contact with his brother (because Dean isn't normal like him?), and lie about his family to his friends because the idea of them knowing he didn't grow up normal is embarrassing... I don't feel like I'm reading a queer allegory. I'd be more likely to think that if anything, I'm reading a comedy from the POV of "the token straight" who initially functions (in the Pilot) as the "normal" character to introduce the "normal" audience to an "abnormal" world in a relatable, palatable way.

That said, when we embrace the fact that the Winchesters are a family of freaks, there is an easy counterpoint here which is that Sam's attitude in the beginning of the series represents being closeted and desperately trying to assimilate with normal society and be perceived as just like everybody else... and his freak family is in the way. In this case, Sam knows deep down that he is like his family (i.e. queer) but desperately wishes he wasn't so that he could fit in. Given that I'm a big believer in Sam being a hunter through and through despite his occasional denials, I find this much more compelling than the argument that Sam feeling othered in his family because he sees himself (at least at first) as the one normal one makes him queer.

*One of you shaking me back and forth*

"But PK—WHAT ABOUT THE DEMON BLOOD?!?!"

Yeah yeah yeah. While it doesn't start out that way, eventually, Sam does reflect on his childhood and see himself as Megamind instead of Marilyn Munster. This is retroactive though (in my opinion. I do not actually believe Sam could "sense" his dormant powers) after finding out that Azazel dropped blood into his mouth when he was a baby. Instead of feeling like the normal one in a family of freaks, Sam starts to feel like the biggest freak in the family, and Dean's "I'm a freak too" suddenly feels like platitudes. Dean—whose calls Sam didn't pick up for years—starts to seem like the normal one—the good one—between them. Dean is the hero character, the righteous man, the sword of heaven... and Sam thinks in his worst moments that he is someone Hero!Dean should be duty bound to kill (2.11). These are all feelings that (again—in my opinion) develop later. I talk about Sam's feelings of otherness and why he actually had those feelings and how I think the demon blood erroneously comes into play as an explanation for his insecurities here.

I think it probably also makes sense to mention here that the idea that Sam was treated as a monster by his family is very very overstated by portions of fandom. I'm not saying Sam never had reason to feel different or othered or unloved or neglected—he absolutely did (as did Dean). I am saying that people like to write about things that never actually happened when they talk about how Sam was treated growing up. Sam felt different from his family because John let Dean start hunting when he was younger than Sam, then he felt different because he wanted to play soccer and go to school while John wanted him to hunt, and because he thought Dean enjoyed being a parentified child and being raised like a soldier and Sam didn't. Retroactively, Sam feels different when he finds out he has powers. These do not develop until he is an adult, and it is never indicated to us that John knew about any of this when Sam was growing up—much less treated him differently growing up because of it. Retroactively, Sam believes Dean sees him as a freak for having visions even though Dean repeatedly treats his visions as no big deal and psychics are an accepted and trusted group within the hunter community (see: Missouri, Pam, Fred). Retroactively, Sam feels different because he was fed blood as a baby. He did not know this until he was an adult, and neither did Dean, as far as we know, neither did John. Sam never believes that Dean would act on John's last whispered command (that again—does not transpire until Sam is an adult) to the point that he repeatedly tries to guilt Dean into promises to follow through and carry out John's will. Retroactively, Sam feels like a freak in season 4 because Sam chooses to drink a completely different demon's blood of his own free will and develop a completely new power set and Dean doesn't think it's a good thing.

TL;DR Sam did not grow up being treated as the monstrous other by his dad and brother. He grew up as an understandably rebellious kid whose dad was a neglectful asshole and a drill sergeant, and he hated being dragged from place to place with no say. He felt different because he stood in contrast to a brother who tried his best to keep the peace because experience taught Dean that refusing to obey would get people killed (1.18), John would send Dean away if Dean gave him lip (14.12), and Dean felt he had to be there to take care of Sam and John (1.06).

More or less, these are the reasons I don't find the queer Sam metas I have stumbled across particularly compelling (along with—imo—Jared's lack of romantic chemistry with other men). At the same time, people seeing Sam as queer or not queer doesn't bother me. I am not trying to "take away" that interpretation from anyone else (as if I even could). I'm just not interested.

#mail #sam and isolation #queer sam

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chrissdollie · 1 year ago

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I have a request if you are interested? :)

A teen!dad jess. He has a best friend from New York (she can have a name or it can be Y/N, you can choose) (they are endgame, jess never had feelings for Rory but she has feelings for Jess, it won't go anywhere) Jess and his best friend have a kid, they co-parent (whether they are dating already or in the future is up to you) Jess gets sent to Stars Hallow, she ends up moving to stars Hallow to, to be close to Jess and so their kid can be with him too (she is emancipated, plus Jess knows she's coming because they keep in contact) if anyone reading this would like to turn this into an actual story, I'm totally down for reading it :) if you choose this request, I look forward to reading it. Thank you!!

hi noonie!! this is my first requests omg wowowow i think this is a great idea! im sorry if its kinda sloppy and not how u wanted! but i hope u enjoyy ! wc: 1.7k also i saw how you said that jess knew she was coming, but whats more fun than a suprise? ;) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As your best friend grabbed his bag and walked towards you and your one-year-old son, you forced yourself to keep your composure. You didn't know how you were going to okay without him. You'll still see him when he comes back to visit for holidays and such, but it won't be the same. You didn't want Jess to leave and neither did he, but he had no choice. He walked over to you and S/N. Reaching out for his father, S/N cooed and Jess took him from you. Jess held him preciously like it would be the last time. "Be good for your mom kid." He kissed his head.

He put down S/N into his crib before walking over to you and grabbed both of your hands. "I'm going to call you twice a day. Morning and night, okay? If there's anything you need, I'm there for you." He explained clearly. You nodded your head as you chewed on your lip, unable to form words. You wrapped your arms around his neck in a tight hug. Jess Mariano was your best friend. Having S/N was an accident, but you and Jess both believed that everything happens for a reason, so you kept him. And neither of you regret it. Your relationship is a little odd, but you love him nonetheless. You pulled away and kissed his cheek. "You'll be okay." You whispered, wiping a tear from your cheek. "And so will you, Y/N. You're the strongest person I know." You smiled softly at his words and gave him a picture of the three of you. He grinned and held it tightly. "Don't miss your bus, buddy." You joked. He ruffled your hair and waved goodbye.

A year later, you still feel the same as you did before. You know, the same day the two of you created a child, the same day you gave birth, and the same day he left. And you were panicking. "Oh, S/N, I'm so excited!" You jumped around making S/N giggle. He bounced along with you. "But I'm nervous too. What if he found someone else?" Then you gasped. "What if he cut all of his hair off?" You exaggerated just to see S/N's goofy smile. "This isn't about me though. This is all for you!" You tickled him (ugh, he's so darn cute). You grabbed your luggage, held S/N on your hip, and left the apartment. Stars Hollow was a cute name, you had to admit. You were thrilled to live in a small town! When you arrived, you stepped off the bus and looked around. Just as you imagined, it looked great! But maybe you should’ve told Jess you decided to be spontaneous and move to Connecticut. On the other hand, Jess could be on the verge of dying from boredom, so a surprise is the perfect thing to cheer him up.

“Thoughts, S/N?” You asked, clenching your hand into a fist as a pretend mic to his mouth. Your adorable son stared at you with his gorgeous eyes. Damn he looks just like his mother. Kidding, he’s an exact replica of Jess. Anywho, you accepted his answer and began to explore.

45 minutes later, you realized that you didn’t plan this out well enough like you thought. Even after talking to Jess everyday on the phone for an entire year, you didn’t know where exactly he was located. Fortunately, you took notice that people often went into a cute little diner called “William’s Hardware Store”, so you followed the crowd into the diner a little bit confused because this didn’t look like a hardware store. You walked in and almost immediately, people started turning to look at you. But atleast S/N enjoyed the attention.

You cleared your throat awkwardly and walked over to the stools at the counter and sat next to a girl around your age. You placed S/N in your lap and took in your surroundings. The girl you were sat next to turned around and gave you a bright grin. “Hi! You’re the new girl, aren’t you?” Her voice was sweet like candy (in the best way possible). “That I am! I’m Y/N. And this dude here is S/N.” You grabbed his hand making him give a little wave. She giggled. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Y/N. And you too, S/N.” She tickled his belly quickly and perked up to you. “I’m Rory!”

You looked to where a boy was coming out of a hidden room and THERE HE WAS IRJAHDJWHS

Thank goodness he didn’t cut all of his hair off. You suddenly felt butterflies in your stomach, which you hated. Rory turned to face where you were looking and scoffed. But he was right out the door as quickly as he came. “Not the best of friends?” You asked, jokingly. “Jess? It's.. kind of weird right now. But yeah, no.” She informed you. You nodded. Weird? Like romantic weird?

“Hey, what can I get you?”

You turned away from Rory and looked in front of you. This looks EXACTLY like who Jess explained to be his uncle, Luke. You remember seeing a sign saying “Luke’s” bellow the hardware store sign. Backwards baseball cap, plaid shirt, scruffy facial hair, this must be him. “This is Luke, Y/N. Luke, Y/N just moved here from.. where?” Rory introduced and then turned to you. “New York.” You replied. “Oh, welcome. What part? My nephew Jess is from New York also.” Luke smiled. “Same as him.” You responded. Rory and Luke looked confused and you felt awkward again. Not the right choice of words.

That was until Luke’s face changed from “what is she talking about?” to “ohhh THAT Y/N!” You're glad you didn't have to explain.

“Y/N! It’s great to meet you! How are you? Is this S/N?” Luke looked below to see S/N’s cute lil chubby face. “Yup, this is him!” You held S/N up higher so Luke could see him better. “Wait you know Jess?” Rory asked. “Father of my kid. It wasn’t planned, but things happen, you know? Anyway, he’s my best friend. We’ve know each other since childhood, actually.” You explained. “Wow, this is amazing! So- so you live here now?” Before you could answer Luke, he rushed up and walked to a phone, dialing a number. “I'm gonna get him to come back right now, don't worry."

“Oh, uh. Well sure, I suppose.” You muttered. “Um, well I have to go home to my mom, but it was great meeting you! See you around!” Rory waved goodbye and left. You mentally smacked yourself on the forehead. You were never good at first impressions, EVER. Just a few seconds after Rory left, the door opened again to reveal a sweaty Jess with a panicked expression. “Where’s the fire? Why’s everyone so calm?” He ran over to Luke. “Here, lemme show you.” Luke placed his hand on Jess’ shoulder and guided him to your seat. You fixed your hair as quickly as possible.

Jess stood and stared. “Wh-What are you doing here?” He brightly smiled. He looked down at S/N, who stared into his eyes. He took him from you and rocked him slowly. “Hey, kid.” Jess kissed S/N’s head. “Hi, Jess.” You spoke shyly.

He then turned his attention back to you. “Hey,” He gazed. You stood up quickly and wrapped your arms around him. Luke took S/N from Jess so he could hug you back fully. “I can’t believe you’re here.” He whispered in your neck. “I missed you.” You told him, pulling away. Although Jess always had trouble expressing his feelings into words, it was a little tense when he didn’t respond back to you.

Luke awkwardly turned to you. “Sorry, Y/N, I gotta get back to work.” He apologized, giving S/N back to you. “It was nice meeting you.” You smiled. He winked and walked back to the kitchen.

"Sooo, how have you been?" You asked, trying to start a conversation while bouncing S/N in your lap. "I've been alright." He put his hands in his pockets and began to speak when a blond chick wrapped her arms around him. "Hey. Where were you? I thought we were gonna go to my place." She prodded. She then turned to face you. "Aw, cute baby."

Of course he had a girlfriend. He was always cool and popular in school, so why wouldn't he be here? You were terribly mistaken to think otherwise. But now you felt a weird pit in your stomach. This was a bad move. You shouldn't have come here. But no, your son needs his father. So, you decide to be brave for S/N.

"Can we do this later?" He mumbled to her. "So you expect me to be okay with this? Ugh, what's the matter with you?" She stormed out of the diner before Jess could respond (not that he wanted to). "Trouble in paradise?" You questioned wholeheartedly. Although you were disappointed, you weren't going let this get in the way of your friendship. He scoffed. "Shane is definitely not my paradise. Look," He got serious for a moment and sat down on a stool next to you. "I'm happy you're here. Really, I am! But you came at a bad time." He told you. "Love triangle?" You joked, thinking back to how Rory said things were weird between them two. "How'd you know?" Jess' eyebrows furrowed. Oh. "Lucky guess." You shrugged. Well, this can't get any better can it? "It was nice seeing you. I should go start unpacking though." You stood up and switched S/N to your other hip. "Listen, let me get things sorted out and I promise I will be with you." He grabbed your hand. "Sorted out? Jess, you shouldn't feel forced to be with me. It's okay, I promise." You tried to reason with him. Why did he make it seem like he had no other option but you? Clearly he has choices.

"No, no. I need to be with you. Remember a few weeks ago when I told you I was gonna go back home?" He asked. You nodded. "That's because I wanted to be with you and my son. But you stopped me and I listened. So, now you're here and I'm gonna be the best damn father I can, alright?" He let go of your hand and ran behind the curtain. All of a sudden, S/N began to cry.

a/n: i'm gonna do a part two dont worryy! im just tired rn but i will try and draft something later tonight and maybe post it tmr xx this was a little hard for me to write since jess would be more mature as a father (atleast i think so) and he wasnt alone like in the show yk? but i had fun nonetheless :)

#SORRY IF THIS WAS BAD #i have mixed feelings tbh #next part might be a lil suggestive #jess #jess mariano #jess mariano x reader #jess mariano x y/n #y/n #reader #gilmore girls #jess gilmore girls #gilmore girls x reader #jess mariano fanfiction #fanfic #h3artands0ul #𝓳𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓪𝓷𝓸 ☕️

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roseworth · 7 months ago

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Any thoughts on Bart and Rose?

MANY

they make me so goddamn emotional. first of all bart being genuinely interested in being friends with her in a period of her life where she felt like no one really wanted her around.. like the titans kinda had to look after her and the older titans saw her as an unstable child that had to be taken care of (which is correct. but she didnt like that). but BART just looked at her and thought she was cool and wanted to hang out with her <3

and him saying "its not like that" is sooo sweet bc he really just wanted to be friends with her 😭 ge*ff made their relationship sorta romantic but its so sweet that he saw her and said "idk how i feel about her but i just know i want to hang out with her <3"

also my fav thing ever is that he sees her screaming at donna and crying and goes "this is the perfect time to make my move 😎" its so fucking funny because then the NEXT time he sees her he does the exact same thing. she watched her foster parents get murdered in front of her and bart goes "hey rose! its me your friend!" ily bart. but he just keeps running into her at the absolute lowest points in her life and trying to be friends. like baby shes about to kill herself this is not the time to hang out...

and then. GOD. HELLO. tt03 #12 makes me lose my fucking mind btw

sobbing because hes the ONLY PERSON that ever reached out to her during this era. hes the only person that recognized there was something wrong and tried to help her. he knew her!!! he thought she was lying to slade because he couldnt believe she would do that. GOD.

it drives me insane that so many people who shouldve done something to help her just. didnt. but i understand that sometimes the story has to happen and they couldnt do it. thats FINE its FINE

ooouuuuggaaagahguhhohuguhhoyhuguhhughggaghahhguhhuogouhghhggagghhguhuahgguhhohooouuauauhghggaagahhuhguhooouguhaggahghgh. im fine.

"rose was there. trying not to be like her dad. trying to be something else." ACK. OUCH. ok im fine.

then. titans of tomorrow 🤮

scraps of what could've been....... i assume geoff had an arc in mind where the titans take rose back (they were at least kinda hinting at it in some of the stories) and i so badly want to know what would've happened. i like the renegade arc but i wish we got a story with the titans taking her back :((( i dont trust jeff geohns with anything but... in my imagination it would've been a great story with bart coming to get her and convincing her to leave her dad

and im still refusing to acknowledge the rest of the titans of tomorrow arc because that story is so goddamn stupid and boring. but theyre married or something in it idk

BUT. BUT BUT BUT. heres where i get insane

because ouuughhhh they could be besties but they just. keep missing each other. right person wrong time but platonically because oughhhh they first met when rose's life was just completely destroyed. then they meet again when rose's life was destroyed AGAIN. then!!!!!!!! when rose meets the team its right after bart leaves and later dies

throwing up and crying bc after rose dies we get so much of rose's favorite trauma response of suppressing it and pretending she doesnt care then trying to fuck someone

someone that she considered a friend but hadnt been able to talk to in years dies and she says "LOL that funeral is so boring! haha bart meant nothing to me. im fine. stop talking about feelings and lets skinny dip right now. bart who" go off queen <3 she does not want to let herself feel any emotion so she represses it as hard as she can forever

(btw. i have complicated feelings about this bc as much as its in character for her to repress all her feelings with sexualizing herself,,,, ew. idk if this is johns or mckeever but its one of their faults and i know it because despite defining all the important aspects of her character theyre both so gross about her sometimes. men 👎 but thats a completely different rant)

ARRHCHHGGHFAHN.... THEN. titans of tomorrow (🤮) again

bart spent this entire story saying she was awful and trying to murder her (they divorced i guess. stupid ass storyline i dont care) shes still sad to lose him again. this is literally the only time she lets herself mourn him and its right after hes been trying to kill her. there is so much wrong with her <3 <3 <3

also as i was looking for that panel i saw this one and i think its so silly:

thats my girl!!! take no responsibility for anything ever and always find someone else to blame for your actions 💞 and bonus points for hating men !

anyways. then later the krul run happens and theyre both vaguely out of character but they FINALLY get to be friends again!!!!!! theyre buddies!!!!!!!!!!!! theyre hanging out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

besties bullying a 12 year old together <3

also one of my favs because i know its supposed to be "haha barts being creepy to her XD isnt that so funny" but inside my head this moment is just bart getting so excited about being on a team with rose again that he refuses to let her miss any of the action. he grabs her hand and gets her into her costume and doesnt think anything of it because hes just so happy that he gets to hang out with his buddy <3 that wasnt the writers intention. but it is to me

if youre willing to exaggerate. they r so besties here. they are taking every opportunity to hang out because they finally get to be buddies :') we still get to see bart just genuinely liking her and once again he just thinks shes cool and wants to hang out with her <3333 theyre so much fun

and i cant keep looking for screenshots because reading the end of this book bums me out since the new52 happened and they couldnt finish any of the arcs they had planned. lili worth i miss you every day

anyways yeah to answer your question. i love bart & rose 👍 the way hes one of the only people that just. likes her. hes the first person (ish) that reaches out to her after her mom died when she was at a very low point in her life and he continues to just enjoy her company and like her as a person which doesnt happen a lot <///3 there are so few people that like her and want to spend time with her and just genuinely think shes a good person but bart always does!!!!! barring t*tans *f t*morrow bart always likes her and always thinks highly of her when no ones else does 💞💞💞 theyre so sweet and i want them to interact again

#theres a secret au in my head where bart roy and kory made a 'save rose and kill slade' task force while she was being drugged #they would not let that shit stand #rose wilson #bart allen #long post #dc #im so sorry this is basically just a tour through every interaction they've ever had. but i just love their scraps of friendship

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autisticfishy · 1 month ago

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Steven quartz universe is autistic and here's why

I present to you a full course meal of autism evidence for all you autistic goobers who see yourself in steven (like me)

He has the need for sameness/safe foods

Literally in episode one (gem glow) the whole beginning of the episode shows steven super upset over his favorite ice cream (safe food) being discontinued (meaning it had to be super unpopular.) An allistic child wouldn't be as upset because there are hundreds of other brands of ice cream sandwiches out there, but steven liked this SPECIFIC brand. He even memorized the commercial for it. (also he likes to eat the ears first which is SO real)

also, throughout the entire series he orders the same exact thing from the fry shop, the bits, which i've noticed a lot of autistic people find it easier or just prefer to have food in smaller pieces. he orders it so much that everyone that works there knows exactly what he's gonna order every time he comes

Not having friends his age

Most of steven's friends are either literal aliens, or adults/people way older than him, and the only friends his age that he has is connie (who I think is autistic too don't even get me STARTED) and peedee (who is also probably neurodivergent.)

I can heavily relate to this, as a child I only really hung around adults and one or two other neurodivergent kids. It's much easier to hang out with people older then you when your autistic because there isn't really the same social rules compared to the kids your age, and the older people don't really mind how you act since your younger then them

Also I kinda see how the reason onion and his friends like steven is because he's autistic. If I go by my headcannon that onion and his gang are all non speaking autistic kids, then it makes sense they connect with steven. My autistic little cousin loves playing with me because I understand her, and I think it's the same way with steven and onion, he understands onion and plays with him in a way that makes him feel understood

He doesn't understand social ques

There are SO many moments where steven doesn't understand social ques, at least one moment every 2 episodes. One example is in onion gang when onion and his friends were pretending one of them died with LITERAL KETCHUP and steven didn't understand that was a joke (silly guy)

I also see this a lot when he's with lars and sadie, he doesn't really understand which moments he should include himself in like in island adventure when he was constantly coming in between lars in sadie when they had their moments

Theres so much more but im not gonna list more since this happens like every episode

He wears the same clothes everyday

steven has been rocking the same fit for YEARS. I know it makes sense because he wears his dad's merch, but it's not like if he asked for more of a variety of clothes, the gems or his dad would have said no. Also the band shirts doesn't excuse the fact he wears the same jeans and flip flops every day. Autistic people love consistently especially when it comes to clothes

Even in future he doesn't really change up his daily attire, except for the jacket. He still sticks with the t shirt, jeans, and flip flops combo and honestly he's so real for that

Special interests/hypertixations

Steven definitely has hypertixations/ special interests. I can definitely see his main one being crying breakfast friends, he literally started a whole youtube channel to record his reaction to new episodes, and has very emotional reactions to them (same)

He also definitely infodumps about it a lot, Mostly in the form of trying to get people interested in it, like when he was trying to get the gems to take a personality quiz to see what crying breakfast friends character they are and when he used crying breakfast friend stickers to mark the warp pads inactive

And finally, just look at him and tell me you don't see the autism radiating through this creature

#steven universe #su steven #autism #steven #nuerodivergent #infodump #yapping about my special interest

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edwin-stanley-pines · 4 months ago

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Dad told me I could do whatever I wanted on my phone as long as I'm not interacting interdimensionally. So I'm gonna do just that. Hello, Internet!!!

[BIG IMPORTANT MOD NOTE DO NOT SKIP THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO POTENTIALLY GET BLOCKED]

[hey folks. due to some recent discourse in some fellow gf rp blogs, id like to make one thing clear: i. am. human. i have a life outside of tumblr. i have a life outside of rp. i cannot always rp when you want me to. if you try to make me, you will be blocked and reported. i will not hesitate. i will not hesitate to block anyone who is rude and demanding. im still in high school. i am a minor. i do not have the time to be online all the time. thank you for understanding. now on to the rest of the pinned post :3]

[mod note: i finally figured out where in the timeline this blog falls!! this blog takes place a year after weirdmageddon]

Interdimensional Family AU is an AU where, during his travels in the portal, ten years before it's reopened, Ford somehow ends up adopting a child.

Edwin is a shapeshifter, but not the same species of shapeshifter as the one in the show. His species, roughly translated into English, is called the Inkaguri, so named for their ink-like true forms. The Inkaguri, when born, can only shapeshift into one species of their choice. Once they pick, they can only shift between that species and their true form. This species is endangered, only because they tend to pick large, dangerous species to shapeshift into and make themselves bigger targets.

One day, Ford is wandering through a random dimension when he's attacked by a huge beast. He kills it fairly quickly, and it changes from the huge monstrosity that it was to a puddle of colorful goop that's beginning to lose its color. Curious, he wanders into the cave it came out of. In the back of the cave, he finds a shallow, egg-shaped puddle. Beside the puddle, looking as though it just crawled out, was a tiny version of the same ink-like creature outside. It looks up at him, they stare at each other, and then this tiny, newly hatched Inkaguri shifts into a human baby.

Thus Ford became Edwin's father because he killed Edwin's mother. He was... not very excited at first.

[edit: heres the story behind edwins bill!!]

[bills reference! (i used pawborough.com for the reference, art does not belong to me)]

[edwin keeps bill in his coat. dont ask where. thats just where bill is. i promise he has room in there. dont ask how.]

[inkaguri code! edwin will now occasionally speak in inkaguri!!!]

[child bill liam reference! he baby]

Edwin talks like this in his human form.

He talks like this in his true form.

(BILL TALKS LIKE THIS WHEN TALKING TO EDWIN. NO ONE ELSE CAN UNDERSTAND THIS. PLEASE, ANONS, PRETEND YOU CAN'T FOR THE SAKE OF THE ROLEPLAY.)

Ford speaks like this when he occasionally makes his appearance. He will not make one often.

"Ford speaks like this over the phone. He will appear like this more often than he will in person."

Liam talks like this. He's gonna be around more than Ford. He's also soft-spoken, so he rarely yells.

[mod talks like this]

#gravity falls #interdimensional family au #edwin pines #gravity falls au #cat bill #stanford pines #long post #intro post #papa ford #child bill

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borathae · 7 months ago

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Chapter 20

oh what happened to her parents and cookie? when did the fire happen? it says years but years could 2 to 20 but she feels like someone who wont say 2 years sooo ancient, uk? so im going to guess 5+ years ago to 19 years max wait how old is our baby?

And who is that shadow sitting in the dark? WHOS THAT SHADOW HOLDING ME HOSTAGE IVE BEEN HERE FOR DAYS (stockholm syndrome by 1d)

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

yay 2seok 😭we are hurt again 💀 honestly how do they put up with her? (no hate to her), like where is the mom mode? the i told you so? like why are you such caring besties? also why am i feeling like oc is a character themself and me at the same time??? like i dont want her to be scolded, heck she didnt know shit but i wanna be scolded???

“They didn’t, she is just being dramatic. I fed her my blood before she could die, she’ll heal”, Yoongi answers him dryly. wow so normal, and good news

also rip dogecoin dog

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

I am tired of vampires messing with my brain.” mood

oh somebody crying on ur chest and u cant do anything other than tell them "they are strong and was just a child, was never their fault" you know it does nothing much for them, but some comfort for the night, a little amount of time until the pain and demons are back again, that shit hurts a lot, eat me away but i have to strong and fine for her cuz she deserves it fuck im rambling bye lol

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

I don’t want to be the one doing the finishing blow.” .. “How are you so sure?” CUZ U DID THIS TO URSELF INSTEAD OF HURTING HER KOOK, U STILL HATE URSELF, filled with guilt and self loath, it shows ur humanity and the fact that its better you than anyone else heal please, let yourself heal. you did whatever you could, everything is not in your control and hence is not your fault

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

I feel like a bitch, but fuck it’s getting so exhausting to pretend that their sweet gestures are working.” ... “Because I don’t want to hurt them. They are doing so much for me”.. "I don’t want to hurt them by telling them that what they are doing is working shit.” wow somebody really decided to call me out

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

YES SHE CONNECTED THE DOTS MY SMART BABY I LOVE U I smelled orange blossoms and cedarwood ooh thats what they smell like

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?" changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me." NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

Jungkook watches you as you blow your nose and wipe your eyes ... you force down a new wave of sobs... you hit your own chest to get rid of the pain. fuck that pain, that hurts a lot

He knows that gesture, he had done it a million times before in his lonely, isolated life. And it rips him apart to see you having to do it too. You should never have had to feel so broken. fuck i feel the same, knowing how much that hurts and never want them to feel, but kook and her are hurt and nothing can change it

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

“You’re cute Kook”, you tell him fondly, pinching his cheek. He lowers his eyes and scrunches his nose up UWUW THEY ARE SO CUTE SHUT UP PLS

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

“___ stay away, I’m dangerous again”, he squeaks. u were fine just now

right, we cant change his mind, and she cant change her mind either and taehyung just idk ah

You just never should have chatted up Alpha." true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

I got broken up by my boyfriend in the rudest way possible and almost died. fr

“Hey”, Jungkook says, waving his hand shyly. HE IS UP AGAIN YAY

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

“I can’t decide if I like this dude or not” fr hobi

“What did you do in your room yesterday?” she danced to itzy, thats all

“I didn’t slip on the pillow, I tried to kick the pillow and slipped on the carpet which resulted in my twisting my ankle and then falling on my tailbone” beautiful, i can totally see it. cuz i did fall similarly once

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

Jungkook drags himself into the room, plotting down next to you with a loud yawn that exposes the back of his throat to all of you. wow that too in those pink briefs and socks THAT ARE PULLED UP ALL THE WAY worse than what we wear when delivery guy comes

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

He seems to be proud, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. So he did it on purpose. Make him chuckle with a funny story and lessen the anxiety he feels. He is so sweet sometimes. irl its jin the ice breaker and its soo good uknow??

“Stop talking to him like that!” you speak up. PERIODT UR SCARING THE BABY

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

Protection. You think I’ll let you drive without it?”

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

“I don’t like the fucking games you are playing today, you hear me?” “Yoongi pull your knee away this instant” He pulls away immediately and steps back, fixing the heavy rings on his fingers. what a rude but cute distinguished gentleman

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

“you are literally such a good person and I fucking hate it.”yup figured that “You made him good. Taehyung, you gave him back his humanity, made him vulnerable, reminded him what happiness feels like and I hate you for doing this to him.” there, asshole said it

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

“….did you get it?” his voice slowly comes back again, as if you were finally submerging from water, “Save. Him.” bruh, leave his alone for that

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

damn this was long anyways feelings were feelings, emotional as fuck now

in Sanguis Alpha she is around 23-24 and the thing with Cookie happened when she was around 10 😭

omg we could have died and become a vampire and yoongi as our sire woah WOW idk if thats hot daddy or literal dad SHIT FREUD WOULD HAVE A FIELD DAY WITH THIS

that would actually be so hot nfdnasf 🥵

THERE ARE MORE VAMPIRES IN THOSE TUNNELS/FOREST AREA??

SCARY SHIT LIKE HELLOO

why does yoongi care? is it the caring of an old person who lived life and wants better life for the young ones or some motive? i dont get it

gaah these are the right questions indeed 👀

also rip dogecoin dog

THE DOG DIED??? why would you just drop that so casually noo omfg I'm genuinely so sad right now 😭😭

jin i doubt you wanna call him a vermin

JFAJDSF he gives no fucks and I admire him for that <3

no but I love that she has Hobi to comfort her :( he is such a good person and amazing friend 😭

Hoseok was nice enough to carry a TV up to your room and install it on your dresser. he is the man yall 😭😭😭

him him him him him !!!!!!!

I SOB BECUASE OF HIM HE IS SO 😭😭😭😭

did jin put hard raisins in the cookies??? i soak them, that way they are chewy in the soft cookies

jfjadjf I feel like no matter he would have prepared him, Kookie would have hated them fnadsnf

I feel that, I'm sorry you have to feel this way :(

“Shit ___, I thought he liked you. Why would he do that to you?” fr, that too he tried to protect with the ring and stuff, what did they do to him?

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT?????

Why k-kill me for it? W-what, what did do to them?" changed taehyung and they hated it i guess

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh

If I hadn’t angered them so much or provoked them so much maybe they wouldn’t have hurt me." NO U DIDNT BABY, ITS ALL THEIR FAULT

PLEASE SOMEONE HOLD HER

I feel so sad for them please 😭😭😭😭

its funny that you never feel the same for yourself, you felt that for somebody, now change that somebody to yourself whats so hard about it? too hard

YES 100% that's me for real

“Did you just use my words against me?” stop he is cute im giggling through runny nose

hoihihiihihih <3 him <3

YOONGI IS GOING TO TEACH THEM??? FUCK YES

I LOVE THIS ENERGY FNNF

You just never should have chatted up Alpha." true, but im sure joon would get to us somehow and that means tae and jimin too. maybe it will take longer thats all

yes 100% it would have happened regardless, especially because Tae clearly had an interest in her (in whatever way) from the beginning, so it would have definitely happened

“You’re finally done withering away?” he asks coldly. how nice

he is so kind and sweet and loving <33 :)

Hoseok scratches the back of his neck, “yeah uhm, that’s fine too.” pls hes trying his best

he is just a lil pookie :( <3

“sure, I can smell the honesty in your sweat.” Hoseok smells himself, furrowing his brows. hobi baby really believed for a second there lol

“I have my methods, trust me.” ok min suga genius jjang jjang man boong boong

he would probably throw you if you said that to him at this point of the story fjasdjf

“Nothing, I just can’t stand you.” i just know jimin would have said, then sit down

lmaooao I meaaan

“W-what?” he stutters, looking at Yoongi with big eyes. EXACLTY LOOK AT LIL BABY, U CANT BE RUDE

HE JUST A LIDDOL BABY (he is meant to be a dangerous killer)

“let’s go eat Kook, I’ll show you how to hunt animals.” “Really? You can do that?” Jungkook gasps, seeming excited. YES AND IT BEGINS YALL YEEHAW

LETS GOOOO

“Even better, shit I would have loved to see that”, he wheezes. tag urself, im hobi

lmaooaoa me for real

NO BUT HE IS SO CUTE LIKE I NEED HIM

was he that sleepy he didnt smell her? mood cuz thats the type of vampire i would be, sleeping for hours

thiiss or maybe Yoongi's training is starting to work ohohooh

“Hey ___”, he says, laughing awkwardly. MOM HES SO CUTE FUCK

I love him :')

“Yeah, ha. Hahaha”, he scratches the back of his neck. He is so flustered, you know he is. 100% i just know his neck would be all red

yes gaaah I jujst ufcking locve him

yes gosh I miss him </3

“You will not go to your apartment on your own” fr thanks yoongi what joon or jimin is waiting right there???

I love protective Yoongi fnfnf

“It’s decided then”, you say and drag him with you by the collar of his leather jacket, “come now.” AAH TOO HOT FUCK THE ENEMIES TO LOVERS THING

GIRL I FORGOT I WROTE THIS AND LOST MY FUCKING MIND UFKCKCKCKCKKCKC

the meme is me for sanguis Yoongi for fucking real

It squishes your cheeks and hurts your nose as he pulls it down, making you groan. “Jesus, you want to strangle me?” “Sometimes yeah” I LOVE THEM

ngnnfadnfn THEM THEM THEM fuck they were so exiciting

That’s the problem with Yoongi. You never know if he was joking or being serious. ngl taehyung did that too, in the previous chapters

an i oop-

“My plants, I need to take care of them”, they are prolly dead 💀

honestly? 100%

“Aaaah that”, you smirk. “Princess seriously, invite me inside.” FUCK SHE IS REALLY TEASING AND TESTING HIS NON-EXISTING PATIENCE thats both hot and funny as fuck, sorry yoongles 😭😭

FUKCCKKC I LOVE THEM FUCKKC I WANT THEM TO HATE FUC-

he is all like "i may be a cunt but i ain't about that sexual harassment" JAHHAHA

oof what a bad boi “You are such a freaking dick, no wonder you have no friends” shots fired oof

THEY WERE SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER GAAH

WOW HOLY SHIT JIMIN WAS WAITING THERE LIKE A JOBLESS IDIOT

fajdsjfajds

If he would have been the one to find you….” he trails off, blinking rapidly. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? WHO?? NAMJOON YOU MEAN??

whooo does he mean helloo??

I just hate that you are the reason Taehyung hurts.” but its you tho, use 2 braincells for that

no but what if he isn't lying then waht?? hellooo???

OH YOONGI FUCK WHERE WERE YOU, no actually its good u stayed inside, we got some info

HAHAHAH you're like "good thing we almost died"

#asks: sanguis alpha #asks #minusback #tw: long post

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onlyjaeyun · 1 year ago

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y/n would want to name it after her to honor her, saying she's the only good parent out of all four of their parents. Y/n would visit her grave after Hee proposes to her to let her know and thank her for raising such an amazing and wonderful man; visits her grave as well when she finds out she's pregnant even before telling Hee since she would have asked her for help on how to tell him if he was alive, and just telling her grave soothes her enough so she's ready to let Hee know.

Hoon would do that, and Hee would break down and like imagine if y/n was pregnant with a boy at the same time, and Hee just loses it and he can't keep the secret anymore and he lets it drop that he and y/n were gonna do the same thing with their son and name it after Hoon.

Their boys would be born like two weeks apart and I just imagine them both getting the Park genes and looking so alike, they would just run around pranking people pretending to be each other. Like Hee and y/n collect their kid from a birthday party at Hoon's house and they don't realize until they get home due to the little boy giggling in the backseat that Hee and Hoon's sons switched spots, and you brought Hoon's son home; meanwhile Hoon is none the wiser at his house since he still currently has like 20 kids waiting to be picked up, and had Hee not noticed the two would have gotten away with it too, at least until later that afternoon.

Hoon will be the PTA dad, like I just envision it, he's the president of the pta and talks Hee into being the vice president of the pta with him, all the mom's join the pta for them, the school has record numbers of pta involvement due to the president and vice president.

the way the first part made me cry so much because she really would do all of that and always tell heeseung how much of a mother she was to her as well so honoring her is the least she can do to show her gratitude and appreciation. every milestone they reach they'd spend at her grave just telling her about it and most of the time seung just can't get a word out so it's y/n doing the talking. right before he proprosed he went to visit her grave and "showed" her the ring (it's her own wedding bad incorporated in a new one) and he'd cry so much at the thought of her missing such important days but y/n always plans the visit to her grave in on their big days like the day of their wedding, the day they go home with the babies, graduation and so on.

AND YES. i think sunghoon would feel so honored because it'd just show him what he means to his two favorite people and how important he is to the point they'd name their child after him. heeyn decides to fo with the hoon part so they'd have a mini-hoonie running around at all times and it'd never fail to make sunghoon smile when he hears rhem call his nephew his nickname :(

AND PLS NOT THEM SWITCHING PLACES THATS JUST SO THEM 😭😭😭 like by the time the boys are five ning and yn know they gave birth to carbon copies of their husbands (personality wise, appearance wise they're all park genes) and it's the best thing ever bc they'd have the same exact dynamics as heehoon and every time their dads woukd do smth the boys would instantly copy it URGH IM CRYINGGGG🥺🥺🥺🩷

and oh my GOD YES MFLENFLENE😭😭 at one point people genuinely think heehoon run the parent teacher associations and they'd be super busy in their jobs yet always make time for pta meetings and events, inlove it sm your brain is such a sexy bundle of nerves

#; mailbox 📬#; poison

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nerves-nebula · 2 years ago

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Ok I've already talked about how your Donnie is just like me fr but Splinter taking all of his things really made me actually think about how my parents would threaten to do the same. I haven't thought about it in a long while but my parent's go to punishment was to threaten to throw away all of my things. They never actually went through with it but there were times when my dad would take a big trash bag and start putting my things in it. All the while my little child self (age 4-12) would be screaming and crying and pulling on him until he would "give in" (they never planned to actually take anything, just traumatize me) and dump everything out on my bed.

It also reminded me of how my mom would go into my room when she was pissed at me and throw shit around. Like, if there was stuff on my floor or on my window seat she would toss it every where, specifically on my bed. She mostly did this if she wanted me to clean my room, because in her mind if she made an even bigger mess then I'd have to clean it up. Jokes on her though because nowadays cleaning my room brings me so many negative emotions that I avoid doing it at all costs. So I forever live in filth >:)

Sorry for rambling but your post really just made me stop and think about how messed up that was. Because for years I thought that all parents must do that from time to time. And since mine never went through with it it must not actually be bad. So it was pretty nice to have someone call out that shitty behavior. Thanks bestie (⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

what is it with moms and traumatizing you into living in filth?? my mom did that too, though not so much later on (she got too busy to care I think) but she'd get really, really mad and be like "ok FINE I'LL DO IT FOR YOU" and rummage through our room "cleaning" for us but really just moving everything around and getting annoyed when we told her to stop cause she didn't know where things belonged/which things were important.

and obviously she'd say then WE should clean our room but like,,, we don't care about it being dirty. you're the one making up this whole issue ??

and its not like HER room was even that much cleaner than ours fasfashdhughdugs

anyway, i've gotten more into like, the ABUSE abuse in this AU recently, but there's a reason I called it neglected turtles and not abused turtles (other than TMNT acronym). i think a lot of the stuff im talking about here happens and people don't recognize it as the abuse it is. i personally relate to the label of neglect more, cause as much as the stuff my parents DID do sucked, a lot of the situation had to do with what they DIDN'T do.

we had food, but weren't always fed. we had bathrooms but weren't really taught hygiene. we had books and could read, but weren't taught the days of the week or the order of the months. and yet we were expected to fully know all of these things anyway.

and i think that's abusive, yes, but i feel like its abusive the way pretending to throw out your kids stuff is abusive. or yelling at them and tossing around their shit is abusive. which is to say, not technically bad enough on its own to get you taken away or anything, but certainly deeply damaging in a way i don't see talked about a lot. so im talking about it. cause its my blog and i want to!

AHH but now I'M the one rambling. idk if what I'm trying to say here makes sense haha, but even if every parent did that from time to time it'd still be shitty.

#nnstuff #child abuse tw #ask #asks are sweethearts

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ridethehammett · 1 year ago

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I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOREVER!

obviously kirk hammett 🩷

there’s so many reasons why i love him. he’s super sweet and caring and i relate so much to him because we share a lot of the same experiences. my father would play metallica frequently when i was a child, and his favorite song was enter sandman. i loved this song growing up, but this year when i saw who was playing the badass guitar solo i would pretend to play with my air guitar, i was like oh my god he’s fucking beautiful. i kid you not the whole reason i dug deep into metallica and discovered more about metal in the first place is because an edit of kirk popped up on my fyp!! i just love genuine people and he certainly is one!! probably my favorite rock star of all time i love my husband!! 🫶🏾

dave grohl 🩷

i really forgot how i got into him it just happened. i think it’s because i was like “wait that’s dave from nirvana, he’s the lead singer of foo fighters wtf!?”but i love his personality so much, he’s so strong. it really hit me with everything he went through, losing the people important in his life and still he kept pushing and helps out others. he’s just very selfless and i love him to pieces. AND HE’S SO CUTE LOOK AT HIM!!

sebastian bach 🩷

WOOO JESUS. okay. i was scrolling through pinterest one day and saw this man because i discovered rachel bolan existed and he was in a picture with him. i was like sorry rachel, but your friend is way hotter LMFAO. so the more i looked at him i was like wow i need him. i started looking at videos and interviews of him and i fell in love with his personality! he’s so fucking funny, also the whole reason he got kicked out of skid row is fucking insane and i love seb so much.

chris cornell 🩷

oh jesus, okay. i love chris because you can hear the passion of music in his songs. when i was younger in elementary school my dad would play soundgarden a lot too, his favorite song being black hole sun. i didn’t understand why i felt the way i felt listening to this song being that i was only a kid, but it did something to me. growing up i found myself going back to that song and the more i grew up the more i understood why i felt that way and why my feelings towards that song increased. chris is such a creative mind and i miss him and his beautiful smile dearly.

cliff burton 🩷

i’m sorry to make y’all cry back to back (also this picture i love it so much bye)

but cliff…oh god. when i first really got into metallica i didn’t know he passed. i was just so attracted to his “don’t give a fuck, society is fake” attitude because that’s kinda how i am. he was himself regardless of what anyone else thought and his smile just always made me happy. and oh my god he’s so talented. but he was just there to live life and do what he enjoyed and i admired that so much.

THANK YOU IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR I LOVE YOU AND IM SORRY IF THIS IS A LOT!! 🩷

@gogobo0ts THANKS DEAR! 🫶🏾

#metallica #soundgarden #audioslave #nirvana #foo fighters #skid row

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selamat-linting · 1 year ago

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when i was really young, i would get these weird moment. like, first one happens during my dad's first arrest. i was 9. the police were barging in and speaking harshly over my mother. they ransacked the entire house looking for meth, and they came into me and my sister's room. i know what was going on, i was already awake then, but i kept pretending to sleep because i dont know what to do. i remember that i dont really "feel" sad at the time, but i do move around a bit trying to make my sleeping face looks as sad and pitiful as possible, and even let out a single tear and think "good, im not screaming like a petulant child im being a sad girl undergoing her traumatic backstory the police will pity you and your father once they see this. they should feel bad"

another instance of that happening occurs around four years later when my parents had this really nasty fight in prison that got the social workers and the warden put us all in the same room to hash it out. i was in the corner, listening to everything and i noticed someone was checking from the door. i took that opportunity to let out a tear i've been holding in and angling myself so the tears would be visible without them realizing i knew they were watching with the wish that they'd think "oh that poor kid!"

looking back then, i was obviously upset. but the emotions are just so big and out of control i cant bring myself to feel it and i keep denying that all of my reactions are just for other people, that im only performing for something. its such a weird thing to feel in retrospect. seeing that yourself in the past was viewing themselves like an outsider gazing in on an object. i feel like it was a completely different person that was living in my body at that moment. and i cant even say i grew out of it, because i still have thoughts that feels like its just a smaller and more calculated attention seeking un-self aware behavior, only more of as unwanted intrusion, thoughts that doesnt feel like it came from myself but its there in my head anyway. and sometimes i believed it.

i hope im old enough not to ever fall into that state of mind again, but if i ever do, i dont want to come back up.

#mental illness posting #ambigously insane is a label im very attached to lately

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bombasticsalt · 1 year ago

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maybe it's the Dazai kinnie in me but my life is falling apart and I feel guilty everytime I fucking eat because I know I'm just getting fatter and fatter all my intrusive thoughts are screaming to just scratch my skin until it bleeds and my dog might be dying no he probably is dying why the fuck does everything I touch die and I can't even fucking clean my damn room but I feel terrible in it because it isn't clean and I'm slowly turning into my dad and I spend way too much time on my phone and that could be why I just feel like crap but I can't cope any other fucking way because I can't handle reality and im scared I'm going schizophrenic because it runs in the family and I'm biggest fucking liar I know because I'm not good like everyone says I am and I'm so good at faking it sometimes I even believe the lies and I don't have a personality I just stole it and switch it out when I need to and I can cry on demand for random shit but I couldn't cry for my aunts funeral and I think about sex so fucking much and I'm way too hypersexual for my age and when get done being hypersexual I just feel disgusting like a fat pig and I feel way older than what I am and I have to pretend everything Is fine because if I don't everyone will know that perfect golden child isn't even real and that im not even fucking smart but I'm in gifted classes for some reason and I start school going back to in person school since years in a couple of weeks and I'm fucking terrified and I have social anxiety but I'm an extrovert and I need everyones attention and when it's not on me I want to fucking die I'm not suicidal though i think about death everyday and I'm fucking scared of dying alone and people really should stop leaving me alone because deep down I'm a terrible person and I when I look at my weight I just wanna cut myself into slivers but I'm to scared of pain to cut myself and food somehow became my comfort and knife at the same time and I cope by being hypersexual and disgusting I don't know what went wrong with me and I don't have an eating disorder im not skinny enough to have eating disorder I can go a few days without lunch or maybe dinner if my parents don't notice I don't think people would care if I lost some weight infact they'd praise me for it and that's all I want attention and im sorry this is so stupid

#vent post #i dont have an eating disorder #actually mentally ill #im so tired #might delete later

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lokischocolatefountain · 10 months ago

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every line in this fic is a punch in the gut and I just kept reading and getting punched and only returned to read it again to luxuriate in the intoxicating angst of it all. i love this fic so much but i put away commenting for so long because nothing i could've said would've done justice to how it makes me feel. I still don't know what to comment on a masterpiece so I'm just gonna do a word vomit. gonna go ahead and put down every line i loved and rant and scream and cry over them. hope that it can convey at least a fraction of how I feel:

he’s dependent on me, joel quips, not the same. i think it’s the same.

I love that you began with this line from the show because now im seeing it in a new light. that he is the one who says Tommy is just dependent on him and that that didn't equate to love. that Sarah is the one who says it's the same. cause when Sarah dies in his arms and Joel loses himself, I see how love and dependance could be the same. Joel loves Sarah, Joel is dependent on Sarah. his entire life revolved around her-- she is born and he has to mold his entire life to fit her schedule-- feeding, sleeping, playdates, middle school, soccer practice, summer holidays.

he is bright, and alive, and he makes jokes when they bubble up to his tongue. he is good. he knows love like a first language

this line made my heart ache cause I immediately recalled joel talking about Atkins and telling the neighbors that Sarah'll be by later. it made me think of Joel putting his ear to the watch and pretending he couldn't hear it tick as a prank on his babygirl. I love Joel as the innocent dog following Sarah around. Dogs giving their person all their love because their whole life from birth to death revolves around this person. It matches parenthood, Joel's kind of parenthood so well. He had a life before he became a dad, but he's a dad and she is his whole life until the day he dies.

she is the sun – his daughter – the most radiant part of his life. his life, which spins on its axis around her.

Another punch in the gut. I'm crying cause I'm thinking of all the flashback shot of Sarah, the way her hair bounces and how in each scene she's so bright. like yeah he breaks promises to her-- forgets the cake, comes home late-- but even that is for her. he works that hard so he ca provide for her. and my god she dies and now there's no one to take care of 😭 like a dog losing its person that its know its entire life-- it's not the natural order-- a parent is never supposed to be there to see their child die, he was supposed to go before her

what is a planet with no sun to orbit? what becomes of day, when its light begins to drain?

Until this line, you were only serving gut punches, but now you've reached down my throat, pulled by heart out and started squeezing the blood out of it. sorry for the graphic detail, but this is what the line did to me. you asked what a planet is with no sun to orbit and I immediately went back to the Joel we see 20 years later in the QZ, all the light and love drained from him as he tosses the dead infected child in the fire.

he’s just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her.

oh god. I repeat, OH GOD. I do not have a heart anymore cause you took it out but I swear it hurts. dogs lives are shorter than their humans' so they never have to grieve them. just like a parent is meant to go before their child. a dog has never been without its human so what is it supposed to do when they're gone??? what is Joel supposed to do when Sarah is gone? HE'S JUST HER DOG AND ALL HE KNOWS IS HER 😭😭😭

a panting, ragged, old dog, tongue hanging lopsided and jumping. ears dented with the pieces of him lost to fighting.

I know this is about joel being Ellie's guard dog. but I can't help but think of how Joel is with Tess and Tommy. like, he's Tess's guard dog-- Robert is scared shitless that Joel will fucking ruin him for his guys hurting Tess. and the way Joel jumps when he sees how Tess is hurt and we know he's ready to burn the world down to hurt whoever hurt her. cause he's her dog. attack dog, guard dog-- a dog who will pounce at and rip up anyone who hurt his people. I feel like this side of his is what chased Tommy away.

Tommy knew him as his little niece's innocent loyal dog so maybe it's impossible for him to reconcile that Joel with this Joel who does all this violent shit to protect him. because his sun is gone but he still has his baby brother to protect and he'll stay alive just to do that. but Tess isn't as afraid of it. and Ellie is happy to have this attack dog cause she's never had anyone to protect her.

The mention of his ear dented???? I love love love it because it's literal and metaphorical. he is broken. and he's lost his his hearing in one ear when he went front the sweet innocent puppy to a vicious guard dog. and Ellie loves this broken attack dog when a kid her age is supposed to be repulsed by it. she should want a cute puppy that circles her legs. like the puppy Sarah had. and that shows her past without even showing it.

I am amazed by how much you can convey in just two simple lines. I would be happy if I could write half as good as you do.

i made this decision for your own good, he reasons, stood in the pink-papered bedroom.

oh shit, of fuck-- you're brilliant! he thinks that being a guard dog is all the he's here for and chooses to pawn Ellie off on Tommy. Cause he thinks Tommy can guard her better. but Ellie sees beyond the attack dog function. Tommy was scared off by the violent love of guard dog Joel, but she isn't scared. she isn't going to let him go that simply. but he does what he does as an attack dog and hurts her too. he might be violent now, no longer an innocent puppy but:

something is controlling him again. pulling on his collar. someone is lighting the way.

THIS LINE! The dog has a new master in Ellie. he talks shit about how he can't protect her and how he has to let go so Tommy can do the job better, but he's just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her. so he shows up at the stable the next morning like the loyal dog he is and he's off with her again, protecting her, showing her how to shoot and telling her he wanted to be a singer and lying about how contractors used to be cool back in the day. he was a dangerous untethered guard dog but now he has someone he's devoted to leading him by his collar and that makes him more dangerous somehow. Have I mentioned you're brilliant? cause you are. you are fucking amazing.

his fur is matted; his fangs are brown and rotten. if she saw him, if her light cast its golden spill onto his bloodshot eyes and mottled coat – she would never know who he is. she would not recognize her own father

Okay, this line is you putting my heart in a blender and shredding it into pieces before grinding it into a pulp because OH MY GOD. this dog began existing when he killed their neighbor and stopped Tommy from taking in the family on the road. Sarah couldn't believe the man he'd suddenly become- killing and throwing compassion out the window. she didn't live long enough to reconcile the image of her sweet puppy with this wild animal that kills without a second thought because it loves so deeply. yeah Joel's still a father who will protect his child but protection means something entirely different when he's Ellie's father and she comes from a world where he didn't need to do that everyday. and the way you put all that into just a few lines????? the way you describe the man he is in terms of matter fur and rotten fangs??? the juxtaposition with her pure golden light??? it's fucking poetry and it will haunt me forever.

he cannot remember the heat of the sun on his arms. he does not know when he last said her name.

This!!!! This???? the world has changed and he still manages to love, but he loves in a way that destroys and protects and burns the whole world for one child. and this love is nothing like the first dog's pure sunshine-y love for Sarah. and I can't help but think about how right before he became this dog, he told Ellie about Sarah. and it's probably the first time he said her name in a very long time. and he became that pup when he showed her the puzzle and the chef boyardee and showed her the giraffes. and right after he becomes this wild dog, the pup shines through again when he talks about going hiking with Sarah and describes how she was a girly girl.

whereisshewhereisshewhereisshe. it loops through his head like it used to when he could see color and feel the wind in his ears. like chasing his tail. catchitcatchitcatchit.

wait wait! is this Joel searching for Ellie when she's kidnapped by those silver lake creeps? or is it the Joel whose heart almost gives out when he sees a woman in Jackson with Sarah's hair and he's forever chasing his little girl who he knows is no more because she left this world right in his arms?? but he's just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her. and he's going to look for her every day of his life??? pls tell me which one it is 😭😭😭😭😭

what will she do, when she runs her hand down his dirty coat, and in place of a loving lick or nuzzle of the nose, he sinks his teeth straight into her wrist?

I am struggling a bit with this part. does he think that he would hurt Sarah? because I, perhaps naively, think he wouldn't. but also he's hurt others with his love for them- Tommy and Ellie. or is the action of sinking his teeth into her wrist just the betrayal he'd make Sarah feel when she seen this violent, wild man he's become? or is it about Ellie and the sinking his teeth into her wrists is about the betrayal he's done by killing all those people to take her away from her goal of being instrumental in creating the vaccine? or is it both?

the dog lowers his head obediently. his ears fall flat. tail curls between his back legs. the wind pushes hard against joel’s chest, threatening to take him with it. i swear, he says.

this is so beautiful. beautiful doesn't even cut it, but I can't find the words. he is a wild creature now, but he is still obedient to one person. he will lie to her and kill to protect her. he knows it's wrong and he will do it everyday of his life with no remorse. I feel like in this part, you show that he is the wild dog in his violence, the guard dog in how he protects her (from the world and from his actions) but he is just partly innocent puppy dog in opening up about Sarah and showing her his puppy dog days.

I am sorry about my ramblings but this fic has been haunting me for so long and I couldn't not tell you every single thought I have about it. I love everything about this work and I love you.

all three dogs

Of course you must learn to love, to love always and love entirely and to be wounded by nothing so much as the violence of your own love. andrew kane, how to be a dog

inspired by this gorgeous post (good idea to read it before you read this), and this gorgeous ask (thank you @iknowisoundcrazy). also shoutout to @mrsmando for being the queen of character study. i am not sure what this is, exactly? is it about joel miller, or is it about some dogs? i do not know. but it was fucking cathartic, so here, i guess. here's how i see joel at his worst.

summary: "dog metaphors are all about devotion, devotion to a person, a concept, a place etc, to be a dog is to be devoted."

warnings: little graphic i guess? blood and guts. violent joel. sarah dies and joel shoots up a hospital to save ellie. angst. i think that's it

word count: 1.3k

main masterlist | follow @macfroglets with notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🖤

he loves you, sarah says, fork digging into egg.

he’s dependent on me, joel quips, not the same.

i think it’s the same.

when the first dog is born, he gives his heavy head a shake, and his ears flick to life. his fur is still damp from the blood and fluid of his mother’s body. he still smells like her – looks like her, too. he is still connected in some way to where he has been; the umbilical cord coiled and dripping.

she licks and licks and licks until he is clean. watches contently as he pads off into some distant future, where he will lose that boisterous gleam in his eye, the gentle wag of his tail. but for now –

for now, he is brown-haired. brown-eyed to match. he has a daughter. he is bright, and alive, and he makes jokes when they bubble up to his tongue. he is good. he knows love like a first language, as if each swipe of his mother’s tongue on his coat melded it into his makeup.

he does not know the warmth of another man’s blood on his hands. he has not drawn the screams and howls of pain from another’s throat.

she is the sun – his daughter – the most radiant part of his life. his life, which spins on its axis around her. always looking for her, to her, at her. vitamin c, she tells him, and he accepts the glass of orange juice. she tells him to swear and he says, on my life. she tells him he’s lame and he says, i know.

he trots faithful and pliant at her heels. circles her legs and passes over her shadow, waiting to be told different. waiting to be shooed away.

only – when he is told, he doesn’t listen. he can’t. what is a planet with no sun to orbit? what becomes of day, when its light begins to drain?

she digs her nails into his skin. pushes and scratches and begs him with shallow gasps to take his hands off her stomach. to let her go. to go away.

i know, baby, i know i know i know i know –

he tells her she’s going to be okay. because what the fuck else does he know? he’s just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her.

the sun is being eclipsed. the world begins to darken.

i’m just gonna get her killed, joel weeps, i know it. i have to leave her.

when the second dog is pulled from his mother, he wails in a collapsed heap on the cold tile floor. the world is dim, colorless. the sun is gone. he does not know how he ended up here.

love is akin to violence. it speaks the same language, inflection and cadence blurring between words. he is only as strong as his fists are able to break bone. he has run out of road – a panting, ragged, old dog, tongue hanging lopsided and jumping. ears dented with the pieces of him lost to fighting.

something quakes within his chest, a deep, unstable movement. a shifting of the tectonic plates that make up his bones. he shakes violently, feeling for the thrash of his heart against his chest wall. something in the darkness commands him to act – to move, though it never reveals where to or what from. just fucking move.

and then – the eruption of his temper. like waves on rocks, breaching in violent and unpredictable bursts. spray of black ocean on the jagged cliff edge. i made this decision for your own good, he reasons, stood in the pink-papered bedroom. the snow flutters silently outside. his hackles slowly furl. she scoffs. she knows as well as he does: he’s as good a liar as he was a pet.

but for all his anger, for all the fear he misdiagnoses as weakness – there is a glimmer somewhere on his back. a pale light catching in the broken face of his watch; lighting the kinks of his dark coat. it begins to push him; to stir him like the tide.

something is controlling him again. pulling on his collar. someone is lighting the way.

where is she?

fuck you.

it takes as little time for the dog’s ears to prick as it did for his lungs to suck in a breath. his upper lip twists, canine glinting in the trembling fluorescent light. shining with saliva and the rusted tinge of blood. joel thinks it over less than once. his eyes flood black.

i don’t have time for this.

when the third dog rips his way into the world, he tears everything around him to shreds, too. his teeth are already bared; his claws are already swiping. his eyes are black as ink; he cannot remember that soft-footed pup he once was.

there is nothing left to hide. not anymore. he has existed in the darkness too long to try. his shirt and skin are stained with dirt and sweat and blood. his fur is matted; his fangs are brown and rotten. if she saw him, if her light cast its golden spill onto his bloodshot eyes and mottled coat – she would never know who he is. she would not recognize her own father.

but he was always this way, it seems: he has always loved catastrophically.

everything is red. saturated in threat; a screaming, nauseating red. it turns his stomach just to look, to peer down the chamber of his gun. the blinking of the alarm light. the maroon stains on his hands. the metallic smell seeping from the slumped vests. the thick pools he steps through, the footprints following him around every corner. they will catch up to him eventually. they always do.

his paws hurt. pads skinned raw from all the running. his lungs ache, now, too. his throat lurches for breath, closes in on itself and then sticks, choking him. he cannot remember the heat of the sun on his arms. he does not know when he last said her name.

he doesn’t remember when he last said anything. he speaks in growls and barks and bites. when his mouth opens, his lips curl by instinct. he swallows his drawl and replaces it with something sharper. something poisonous. there’s foam lining his gums.

all he has – of this he is sure – is his brute force and the quick snap of his bite. the shattering of bone, the mauling of flesh. the brawn and breadth of his body; the squeeze of a trigger with one thoughtless pull. all he knows how to do is swing.

and so, one heavy boot steps in front of the other. crunching over broken glass and scuffing over bullet shells. whereisshewhereisshewhereisshe. it loops through his head like it used to when he could see color and feel the wind in his ears. like chasing his tail. catchitcatchitcatchit.

where did she go – the moon? which cloud is she hiding behind? how many men do his maws have to tear apart to find her?

and what will she think when she sees him again? his collar missing and his claws dripping crimson. when she feels the rips in his ears, sees the scar on the side of his head. what will she do, when she runs her hand down his dirty coat, and in place of a loving lick or nuzzle of the nose, he sinks his teeth straight into her wrist?

swear to me. swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true.

the dog lowers his head obediently. his ears fall flat. tail curls between his back legs. the wind pushes hard against joel’s chest, threatening to take him with it. i swear, he says.

ellie’s gaze falls. she nods once. tightens her fist around the dog’s leash.

okay.

lots of inspo drawn from:

how to be a dog by andrew kane

grit by silas denver melvin

monster theory: reading culture by jeffrey jerome cohen [seven theses]

#my love language is yapping #i usually put fic recs in my sideblog #but joel as a father and protector is everything to me #and I don't see gen fics about him often #so I'm gonna put it in both places #fic rec #joel miller fic #joel miller #joel miller one shot #joel miller drabble #the last of us #tlou

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waffliesinyoface · 2 years ago

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sometimes im very curious about like. school culture, immediately before and after my time.

there’s a reason i refer to myself and people my specific age as “zillenials”, because while generation gaps are largely stupid, mid-late 2000s to early-mid 2010s are VERY MUCH entirely different beasts, and going through school in that timeframe??

classes went from “we’re using the overhead projector today” to “we replaced the chalkboards with whiteboards so you need to buy expo markers” to “SMART boards are new and fancy and kids really wanted to be the one who got to calibrate it” to “the SMART board is old and outdated, we’re going to use it as a projector while you log in to this website using the school laptops to take the test” to “okay everyone get out your smartphones and go to this link”.

and like. that’s not even getting into all the different types of teaching fads, “no child left behind” shit, different types of standardized tests*, funding changes, teachers who were also struggling with the rapid changes, etc.

*(literally, i had to take a freshman english test in senior year because it was a requirement to graduate, despite the fact it had not existed in my freshman year. it was then. discontinued. like a year later.)

you know how like. a lot of shows set in high school back then had an episode where the students were given a sack of flour and had to pretend to be married and pretend it was their baby. My brother is 5 years older than me, and it was an Actual Thing He Was Expected To Do, as part of home ec. When I went to the exact same high school, home ec class no longer existed.

Back in october last year when i was learning to sew, i asked my mom some questions that she thought were very funny because they were the most basic of basics. When i said a sewing pattern was confusing, she said that even beginner patterns assumed that the person attempting it had taken a sewing class in school. This is the level of disconnect I’m talking about. Things just. stopped? existing?? We saw this in real time with cursive. Like. in elementary school there were several years where it was expected that we learn it, and later years you would get docked points if they weren’t written in cursive with blue or black ink. Cut forward a few years and everything needs to be in print. People at work 3 years my junior cannot even read it, let alone write it. It went from Mandatory & Important to Outdated to We’re Not Teaching That Anymore.

Also back on the topic of sewing, that segues nicely into The Gays.

Im not entirely sure what the culture was like before my time, because of the few older gays i know, they’re either not american or didn’t figure it out until at least college. But like. I know it wasn’t good. I also know that it was a lot more hidden? According to my dad, forever ago the polite way of calling someone gay was “they’re not the marrying type”.

Nowadays from what little i’ve gleaned from social media and occasional screenshots of tiktok, it. Seems better? On the surface? Teens are less prone to giving a shit about other students?? I dont know.

Meanwhile, my experience was like. Gays dont exist. Gays are the Enemy of The American People. Gays are the wacky friend character on TV. Gays exist solely in fiction. Gay people will cause the downfall of society. The very specific type of fujoshi who constantly shipped male characters together but also thought if people were gay in public they deserved to burn in hell. Girls who played sports needed to dress in a very specific way to avoid being labeled as a dyke. Girls cant be gay what are you talking about. There is a school club dedicated to being An Ally™ of Gay People.

IS THERE ANY WONDER. THAT QUEER PEOPLE MY AGE. ARE ALL INSANE. FUCK. not enough of an Other to be stoned to death (unless you were in the deep south, in which case, good fucking luck), but also no longer had the slight protection being invisible offered, and also everyone subtly hates you, and also there were assemblies on how hating you was frowned upon, and also Here Is A Mandatory School Event Where You Must Present As Heterosexual And Within Gender Roles : ), and a AAaaAAAAAAA

it was good because queer shit was showing up more often in more mainstream things and we could point to it and go “now hold on just a minute, why does this appeal to me” but it was bad because if you were too interested or interested in the wrong way, it painted a goddamn target on you. I intentionally attempted to give myself a multiple personality disorder early on in high school because I knew i was trans, but i also knew (from experience) that letting any of that show was inviting people to beat me bloody. (also, i knew enough about trans stuff to know it existed, but not enough to know about HRT. and when i had learned about it it was in the context of “MAYBE you’ll get it if you present passingly as female for a year or two without it : )” horror stories.)

*cough*

anyways. the 2006-2016 or so era was a complete fucking hell and apparently i needed to yell about it a little bit?? I imagine school culture before my time and nowadays have their own unique hells too, but i cannot fathom them because mine was so unlike either.

#put under a readmore because it devolved into a very long rant #gender

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m0tel6mxzzy · 2 years ago

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a rant on monet de haan and “but og gossip girl was old money”

not to bitch abt racist og gossip girl fans but im gonna bitch abt them. i REMEMBER yalls tone when the show first got promo before it even aired, and weren’t even willing to give it a chance, u just made assumptions bc the entire cast wasnt white.

ppl, specifically og gg tiktok fans, were saying the old show “gives old money” and the new show doesnt, conveniently forgetting chuck’s dad wasn’t born into wealth but became wealthy when chuck was young, making him new money. his dad is worth 22 billion dollars.

monet’s parents are heirs to a new york pharmaceutical company and on her wiki its listed that her family descends from old money. johnson and johnson is one of the biggest and has a net worth 435 billion as the wealthiest pharma company in the us. bc im lazy and dont feel like counting means and stats for the top 10 pharma companies in the us relative to ny, im assuming the de haan company has a networth of 100-400+ billion. whatever her family’s networth is i will happily believe it is more than chuck bass.

and monet’s parent’s donation of the wing had to occur sometime after everyone in the og show including jenny’s grade had graduated constance bc it wasnt yet canon, but just before monet had gone there. if we’re talking as soon as jenny’s grade had graduated, thats between june 2010-aug 2018, and monet would be 5 to 13. i’m going to average that the time the wing was planned to be built was 2014 when she’d by 9 bc i love the idea of little monet dreaming of going to constance with absolute certainty, and bc 2014 is a prettier number. my theory is that greyson and camille were planning to have monet go to CB St Judes ever since she was a child, hence the early donation.

anyway her parents literally paid for wing in constance and it has their names on it w the money from an old new york pharma company they own. and yall are like,,, dying on the hill she, bc she’s part of the reboot, wasnt born into wealth??? and even if she wasnt i know yall didnt just forget the og gg had poc on the show who were also old money or otherwise so loaded rich they could afford constance, but usually they were background characters like the minions, nelly yuki, and raina. the minions who literally only served to do blair’s bidding, and nelly yuki who was opposed bc blair saw her as an academic rival and was willing to sabotage her.

and then raina thorpe whos one of the only black girls in the show w a prominence in the og series, but idk. she’s moreso there bc she was w/ nate and chuck, but also her dad is basically a “villain” in the show and raina gets the short end of the stick and has to suffer for it, which is when she leaves the show. im just saying ofc someone the same race as monet or luna or aki would be happy to see themselves represented on screen and not as a background character or recurring character there only a short amnt of time if they loved the og gg.

and if you personally aren’t? cool thats ok but let ppl who are be happy. you dont need to mount some moral high horse pretending u care abt poc to defend why u hate us being represented in media. yall complain whenever poc are shown in media even when it isnt a reboot but rather an extension of the franchise such as star wars, so i find it hard to believe ur crapping on new reboots in media for having poc bc u actually care abt us being properly represented.

like, factually racism is the only thing convincing yall the old gg is “old money” and the new one isnt. also we need to have a talk abt what yall constitute as old money, bc hf twitter stayed hating on alexa demie for her early 00s fashion for being “cheap” as if paris hilton also wasn’t dressing kinda like alexa currently does in the early 00s while also happening to be an heiress to a hotel brand. and as if hf twt doesn’t constantly worship the air bella hadid breathes for wearing low rise jeans and baby tees which is just as much y2k inspired as what alexa wears.

like,, yall think all rich people, w/in ur very narrow view of what rich old money ppl look like, only ever dress in ralph lauren polos,,,and it’s not even like yall read the gg books to know the og characters wear burberry and ralph lauren which any tiktok old money “connoisseur” would hate for being “flashy,’ but because its in the list of their weird arbitrary rules of crap all old money rich ppl apparently do. if the reboot characters wore burberry scarves and ralph lauren polos w giant logos on the front yall would complain they arent following ur made up rich ppl rules u think applies to everyone who’s an heir to fortune.

yall just forget abt raina and hated gg2021 before it even aired all bc it starred poc, and bc its weird seeing a rich it girl in a position of power who doesnt look like blair or serena. for the de haans to have the money to donate a wing to the school and pay monet’s tuition on top of that and live in the excess monet does simultaneously kinda shows like,,how fucking rich monet is. therefore the attitudes of the students make a lot of sense. and if blair was treating a teacher the way monet does bc she had a wing dedicated to her parents, yall would eat that shit up whether blair was old money or not!!!

listen im a huge gg fan but i also pay attention!!! i am not letting monet de haan slander slide!!!! im all for her being as entitled due to her wealth and carefree as blair was!!! bc blair did some f’ed up shit yet monet being snide w a teacher gets yalls feathers ruffled...and we all know why yall wouldnt have the same reaction if it were audrey doing the same but thats none of my business

#gossip girl #ggrb #monet de haan #gossip girl 2021 #gg 2021 #and if i got the math wrong on when the de haan wing was first planned idc the exact numbers and calculations arent the focus #anyway i spent an hour trying to properly articulate this

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bangchanswolfpelt · 3 years ago

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heyyy it's honey here :]

im out here dropping this longposts in your asks like installments lmao.... (sorry babe i have neither the time nor the energy to make a sideblog. yet 😏)

ANYWAY the coherent version of my svt analysis is way too long so i split it up. here is part one <333

note: these are just some of my favorite relationships within the group that i personally have thoughts on, and by no means encapsulates svt's relationship as a whole!

s.coups + jeonghan:

- seungcheol is soft with jeonghan, and jeonghan is teasingly mean to seungcheol. - hannie’s really the only one that can get away with talking back to cheol, and he definitely makes use of it. - seungcheol tugs jeonghan into everything and whines at him. begs for his attention and clings to him when he’s around. - best friends/soulmate energy. the mom and dad of the group. lovingly watching everyone else’s shenanigans. they’re both too old for this shit - how else can i explain this i just love them. they’re so comfortable around each other. like lifelong friends that know each other inside and out, like a warm blanket you’ve had since you were 4. jeonghan + joshua: - jeonghan and joshua are the not-so-secret evil masterminds. partners in crime. soulmates 2.0. - best of friends as in “this person knows everything that’s wrong with me but they still love me”. - they’re endlessly mean to each other in the trusting way that means they know they don’t mean it, and they know the other doesn’t mean it. - jeonghan completely strips away joshua’s gentleman image and joshua falls for it every time (see that one episode of going svt lmaoo). they’re terrible influences on each other. - put them on opposite teams and they’ll destroy each other, but put them on the same team and you’re dead (they’ll cheat their way out every time). could 100% murder you and get away with it - would die for each other without question but at the same time if one was on fire the other would drink a glass of water in front of them.

s.coups + mingyu:

- they clash so much but in the best possible way. two puppies just scrambling over each other to get what they want and scuffling over the last slice of pizza. sitting in each others’ laps just to be annoying, etc. etc. - cheol does literally ANYTHING and mingyu is in the corner pretending to throw up, or making slightly rude comments. the opposite is also true. - gyu sits in a chair and i bet you anything cheol just pushes him out of it - incredibly physical, just roughhousing and bickering lovingly all the time - i’m pretty sure they steal each others clothes (specifically mingyu stealing scoups’ clothes and then whining when he’s found out lmao) friendship but they’re both tsunderes and touchy babies. i love them

s.coups + dino:

- father-son relationship!!! - that one gose clip where seungcheol grabs dino and straight up bodyslams him into the ground on the trampoline. you know the one (8:58 of this video if you don't) - cheol bothers him all the time just for fun. he's very rough and tumble with chan but since channie's the baby he can’t do anything in retaliation so he just kinda Takes it - i feel like cheol probably makes really terrible jokes around dino just to make him cringe - but god forbid anyone hurt chan tho seungcheol ultimate protective dad energy. only HE can bully his son how dare you touch his child. jeonghan + dino: - dino may be cheol’s son, but he’s hannie’s Babie. jeonghan babies this boy to a hilarious extent - “who’s baby are you?” “…….jeonghan’s baby.” (proof) - jeonghan’s not afraid to play tricks on chan too, but it’s softer somehow. holds him carefully. mothers him almost - i bet whenever dino gets hurt (emotionally, physically, whatever) he goes crying to hannie to get his ouchies kissed better - dino puts up with this man like it’s a godforsaken punishment. lets himself get his cheeks squished and head patted and pretends that he doesn’t like it. whiny baby (affectionate). - what dino wants, dino gets.

(i don't remember where i saw this vid, but) dino: wants to do the jump cut.

jeonghan: no.

dino: 🥺

jeonghan: …fine.

-cut to all of svt doing the jump cut-

jeonghan + mingyu:

- jeonghan is like. mingyu’s comfort hyung. his sweet hyung. if you look at videos mingyu usually goes to hannie for cuddles. just pops up and squishes him. emotional support hyungie for sure - since gyu and seungcheol are so similar they also have similar ways of acting around jeonghan, but the way that jeonghan acts around gyu is a little different than with cheol - he’s younger for one, so the natural mother hen instinct kicks in (as with most of the not-eldest-hyung-line when it comes to jeonghan) jeonghan bullies him but also mothers him. there’s not quite an “equals” relationship like with cheol, but more of a older-sibling younger-sibling dynamic, where jeonghan's a little more gentle with mingyu than cheol is. - basically it’s like jeonghan’s a senior with a sophomore friend. not quite tiny, but small enough that you can make fun of them and call them a smol child to piss them off joshua + vernon:

- this is probably only funny to those with immigrant parents but you know that thing where the parent says something in their native language and then the child responds in english? vernon and joshua. 100% - there’s multiple clips of this i’m not kidding (i'm too lazy to find them though ;w;). joshua is the kid btw, which considering their actual ages is hilarious - i do think vernon is the calmer chiller one of the duo, which is endlessly hilarious considering he’s from (famously chaotic) nyc whereas joshuji is from (supposedly chill and laidback) la. - they probably bonded in the beginning over being english line, bc they must have a lot of mutual cultural things in common as to both growing up in american culture and currently being immersed in korean - i bet you at least one of them was on vine. - vernon is so maknae in a very amusing way (he seems so adult outside of svt but then you see him interact with his hyungs and he’s just a baby boy) - but in this relationship it really seems like he’s more of the mom? takes on the role of explaining things to his hyungie and looks out for him - soft for vernon quietly on the side explaining korean games to joshua in english so that he understands them (see the latest gose ttt for reference)

upcoming perhaps? jun + the8, woozi + hoshi, vernon + seungkwan, etc. :DD

tell me what you think! xoxo honey anon 🍯

gonna reblog this with a proper response later, but it would be irresponsible of me to keep this from the people 😤

(also, re: not having the time/energy for a blog, FAIR 😂😂😂 if you ever make one, tho, you know who wants to be your first follower 🥺🥺🥺🥺😈)

#svt dynamics #seventeen dynamics #svt ships #seventeen ships #i don’t know what to tag this with i just know i love it and i want people to see hon’s work #honey anon 🍯#svt💎#mail corner 📬#english line had me 🥺🥺🥺#Baby Dino my beloved 🥰#love the 95 line gonna listen to ah my love rn 😭#puppy boy gyu puppy boy gyu stoooooooop making me love gyu so much pls 😭

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