#i usually put fic recs in my sideblog

[lokischocolatefountain]

every line in this fic is a punch in the gut and I just kept reading and getting punched and only returned to read it again to luxuriate in the intoxicating angst of it all. i love this fic so much but i put away commenting for so long because nothing i could've said would've done justice to how it makes me feel. I still don't know what to comment on a masterpiece so I'm just gonna do a word vomit. gonna go ahead and put down every line i loved and rant and scream and cry over them. hope that it can convey at least a fraction of how I feel:

he’s dependent on me, joel quips, not the same. i think it’s the same.

I love that you began with this line from the show because now im seeing it in a new light. that he is the one who says Tommy is just dependent on him and that that didn't equate to love. that Sarah is the one who says it's the same. cause when Sarah dies in his arms and Joel loses himself, I see how love and dependance could be the same. Joel loves Sarah, Joel is dependent on Sarah. his entire life revolved around her-- she is born and he has to mold his entire life to fit her schedule-- feeding, sleeping, playdates, middle school, soccer practice, summer holidays.

he is bright, and alive, and he makes jokes when they bubble up to his tongue. he is good. he knows love like a first language

this line made my heart ache cause I immediately recalled joel talking about Atkins and telling the neighbors that Sarah'll be by later. it made me think of Joel putting his ear to the watch and pretending he couldn't hear it tick as a prank on his babygirl. I love Joel as the innocent dog following Sarah around. Dogs giving their person all their love because their whole life from birth to death revolves around this person. It matches parenthood, Joel's kind of parenthood so well. He had a life before he became a dad, but he's a dad and she is his whole life until the day he dies.

she is the sun – his daughter – the most radiant part of his life. his life, which spins on its axis around her.

Another punch in the gut. I'm crying cause I'm thinking of all the flashback shot of Sarah, the way her hair bounces and how in each scene she's so bright. like yeah he breaks promises to her-- forgets the cake, comes home late-- but even that is for her. he works that hard so he ca provide for her. and my god she dies and now there's no one to take care of 😭 like a dog losing its person that its know its entire life-- it's not the natural order-- a parent is never supposed to be there to see their child die, he was supposed to go before her

what is a planet with no sun to orbit? what becomes of day, when its light begins to drain?

Until this line, you were only serving gut punches, but now you've reached down my throat, pulled by heart out and started squeezing the blood out of it. sorry for the graphic detail, but this is what the line did to me. you asked what a planet is with no sun to orbit and I immediately went back to the Joel we see 20 years later in the QZ, all the light and love drained from him as he tosses the dead infected child in the fire.

he’s just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her.

oh god. I repeat, OH GOD. I do not have a heart anymore cause you took it out but I swear it hurts. dogs lives are shorter than their humans' so they never have to grieve them. just like a parent is meant to go before their child. a dog has never been without its human so what is it supposed to do when they're gone??? what is Joel supposed to do when Sarah is gone? HE'S JUST HER DOG AND ALL HE KNOWS IS HER 😭😭😭

a panting, ragged, old dog, tongue hanging lopsided and jumping. ears dented with the pieces of him lost to fighting.

I know this is about joel being Ellie's guard dog. but I can't help but think of how Joel is with Tess and Tommy. like, he's Tess's guard dog-- Robert is scared shitless that Joel will fucking ruin him for his guys hurting Tess. and the way Joel jumps when he sees how Tess is hurt and we know he's ready to burn the world down to hurt whoever hurt her. cause he's her dog. attack dog, guard dog-- a dog who will pounce at and rip up anyone who hurt his people. I feel like this side of his is what chased Tommy away.

Tommy knew him as his little niece's innocent loyal dog so maybe it's impossible for him to reconcile that Joel with this Joel who does all this violent shit to protect him. because his sun is gone but he still has his baby brother to protect and he'll stay alive just to do that. but Tess isn't as afraid of it. and Ellie is happy to have this attack dog cause she's never had anyone to protect her.

The mention of his ear dented???? I love love love it because it's literal and metaphorical. he is broken. and he's lost his his hearing in one ear when he went front the sweet innocent puppy to a vicious guard dog. and Ellie loves this broken attack dog when a kid her age is supposed to be repulsed by it. she should want a cute puppy that circles her legs. like the puppy Sarah had. and that shows her past without even showing it.

I am amazed by how much you can convey in just two simple lines. I would be happy if I could write half as good as you do.

i made this decision for your own good, he reasons, stood in the pink-papered bedroom.

oh shit, of fuck-- you're brilliant! he thinks that being a guard dog is all the he's here for and chooses to pawn Ellie off on Tommy. Cause he thinks Tommy can guard her better. but Ellie sees beyond the attack dog function. Tommy was scared off by the violent love of guard dog Joel, but she isn't scared. she isn't going to let him go that simply. but he does what he does as an attack dog and hurts her too. he might be violent now, no longer an innocent puppy but:

something is controlling him again. pulling on his collar. someone is lighting the way.

THIS LINE! The dog has a new master in Ellie. he talks shit about how he can't protect her and how he has to let go so Tommy can do the job better, but he's just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her. so he shows up at the stable the next morning like the loyal dog he is and he's off with her again, protecting her, showing her how to shoot and telling her he wanted to be a singer and lying about how contractors used to be cool back in the day. he was a dangerous untethered guard dog but now he has someone he's devoted to leading him by his collar and that makes him more dangerous somehow. Have I mentioned you're brilliant? cause you are. you are fucking amazing.

his fur is matted; his fangs are brown and rotten. if she saw him, if her light cast its golden spill onto his bloodshot eyes and mottled coat – she would never know who he is. she would not recognize her own father

Okay, this line is you putting my heart in a blender and shredding it into pieces before grinding it into a pulp because OH MY GOD. this dog began existing when he killed their neighbor and stopped Tommy from taking in the family on the road. Sarah couldn't believe the man he'd suddenly become- killing and throwing compassion out the window. she didn't live long enough to reconcile the image of her sweet puppy with this wild animal that kills without a second thought because it loves so deeply. yeah Joel's still a father who will protect his child but protection means something entirely different when he's Ellie's father and she comes from a world where he didn't need to do that everyday. and the way you put all that into just a few lines????? the way you describe the man he is in terms of matter fur and rotten fangs??? the juxtaposition with her pure golden light??? it's fucking poetry and it will haunt me forever.

he cannot remember the heat of the sun on his arms. he does not know when he last said her name.

This!!!! This???? the world has changed and he still manages to love, but he loves in a way that destroys and protects and burns the whole world for one child. and this love is nothing like the first dog's pure sunshine-y love for Sarah. and I can't help but think about how right before he became this dog, he told Ellie about Sarah. and it's probably the first time he said her name in a very long time. and he became that pup when he showed her the puzzle and the chef boyardee and showed her the giraffes. and right after he becomes this wild dog, the pup shines through again when he talks about going hiking with Sarah and describes how she was a girly girl.

whereisshewhereisshewhereisshe. it loops through his head like it used to when he could see color and feel the wind in his ears. like chasing his tail. catchitcatchitcatchit.

wait wait! is this Joel searching for Ellie when she's kidnapped by those silver lake creeps? or is it the Joel whose heart almost gives out when he sees a woman in Jackson with Sarah's hair and he's forever chasing his little girl who he knows is no more because she left this world right in his arms?? but he's just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her. and he's going to look for her every day of his life??? pls tell me which one it is 😭😭😭😭😭

what will she do, when she runs her hand down his dirty coat, and in place of a loving lick or nuzzle of the nose, he sinks his teeth straight into her wrist?

I am struggling a bit with this part. does he think that he would hurt Sarah? because I, perhaps naively, think he wouldn't. but also he's hurt others with his love for them- Tommy and Ellie. or is the action of sinking his teeth into her wrist just the betrayal he'd make Sarah feel when she seen this violent, wild man he's become? or is it about Ellie and the sinking his teeth into her wrists is about the betrayal he's done by killing all those people to take her away from her goal of being instrumental in creating the vaccine? or is it both?

the dog lowers his head obediently. his ears fall flat. tail curls between his back legs. the wind pushes hard against joel’s chest, threatening to take him with it. i swear, he says.

this is so beautiful. beautiful doesn't even cut it, but I can't find the words. he is a wild creature now, but he is still obedient to one person. he will lie to her and kill to protect her. he knows it's wrong and he will do it everyday of his life with no remorse. I feel like in this part, you show that he is the wild dog in his violence, the guard dog in how he protects her (from the world and from his actions) but he is just partly innocent puppy dog in opening up about Sarah and showing her his puppy dog days.

I am sorry about my ramblings but this fic has been haunting me for so long and I couldn't not tell you every single thought I have about it. I love everything about this work and I love you.

all three dogs

Of course you must learn to love, to love always and love entirely and to be wounded by nothing so much as the violence of your own love. andrew kane, how to be a dog

inspired by this gorgeous post (good idea to read it before you read this), and this gorgeous ask (thank you @iknowisoundcrazy). also shoutout to @mrsmando for being the queen of character study. i am not sure what this is, exactly? is it about joel miller, or is it about some dogs? i do not know. but it was fucking cathartic, so here, i guess. here's how i see joel at his worst.

summary: "dog metaphors are all about devotion, devotion to a person, a concept, a place etc, to be a dog is to be devoted."

warnings: little graphic i guess? blood and guts. violent joel. sarah dies and joel shoots up a hospital to save ellie. angst. i think that's it

word count: 1.3k

main masterlist | follow @macfroglets with notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🖤

he loves you, sarah says, fork digging into egg.

he’s dependent on me, joel quips, not the same.

i think it’s the same.

when the first dog is born, he gives his heavy head a shake, and his ears flick to life. his fur is still damp from the blood and fluid of his mother’s body. he still smells like her – looks like her, too. he is still connected in some way to where he has been; the umbilical cord coiled and dripping.

she licks and licks and licks until he is clean. watches contently as he pads off into some distant future, where he will lose that boisterous gleam in his eye, the gentle wag of his tail. but for now –

for now, he is brown-haired. brown-eyed to match. he has a daughter. he is bright, and alive, and he makes jokes when they bubble up to his tongue. he is good. he knows love like a first language, as if each swipe of his mother’s tongue on his coat melded it into his makeup.

he does not know the warmth of another man’s blood on his hands. he has not drawn the screams and howls of pain from another’s throat.

she is the sun – his daughter – the most radiant part of his life. his life, which spins on its axis around her. always looking for her, to her, at her. vitamin c, she tells him, and he accepts the glass of orange juice. she tells him to swear and he says, on my life. she tells him he’s lame and he says, i know.

he trots faithful and pliant at her heels. circles her legs and passes over her shadow, waiting to be told different. waiting to be shooed away.

only – when he is told, he doesn’t listen. he can’t. what is a planet with no sun to orbit? what becomes of day, when its light begins to drain?

she digs her nails into his skin. pushes and scratches and begs him with shallow gasps to take his hands off her stomach. to let her go. to go away.

i know, baby, i know i know i know i know –

he tells her she’s going to be okay. because what the fuck else does he know? he’s just a dog. he’s just her dog. all he knows is her.

the sun is being eclipsed. the world begins to darken.

i’m just gonna get her killed, joel weeps, i know it. i have to leave her.

when the second dog is pulled from his mother, he wails in a collapsed heap on the cold tile floor. the world is dim, colorless. the sun is gone. he does not know how he ended up here.

love is akin to violence. it speaks the same language, inflection and cadence blurring between words. he is only as strong as his fists are able to break bone. he has run out of road – a panting, ragged, old dog, tongue hanging lopsided and jumping. ears dented with the pieces of him lost to fighting.

something quakes within his chest, a deep, unstable movement. a shifting of the tectonic plates that make up his bones. he shakes violently, feeling for the thrash of his heart against his chest wall. something in the darkness commands him to act – to move, though it never reveals where to or what from. just fucking move.

and then – the eruption of his temper. like waves on rocks, breaching in violent and unpredictable bursts. spray of black ocean on the jagged cliff edge. i made this decision for your own good, he reasons, stood in the pink-papered bedroom. the snow flutters silently outside. his hackles slowly furl. she scoffs. she knows as well as he does: he’s as good a liar as he was a pet.

but for all his anger, for all the fear he misdiagnoses as weakness – there is a glimmer somewhere on his back. a pale light catching in the broken face of his watch; lighting the kinks of his dark coat. it begins to push him; to stir him like the tide.

something is controlling him again. pulling on his collar. someone is lighting the way.

where is she?

fuck you.

it takes as little time for the dog’s ears to prick as it did for his lungs to suck in a breath. his upper lip twists, canine glinting in the trembling fluorescent light. shining with saliva and the rusted tinge of blood. joel thinks it over less than once. his eyes flood black.

i don’t have time for this.

when the third dog rips his way into the world, he tears everything around him to shreds, too. his teeth are already bared; his claws are already swiping. his eyes are black as ink; he cannot remember that soft-footed pup he once was.

there is nothing left to hide. not anymore. he has existed in the darkness too long to try. his shirt and skin are stained with dirt and sweat and blood. his fur is matted; his fangs are brown and rotten. if she saw him, if her light cast its golden spill onto his bloodshot eyes and mottled coat – she would never know who he is. she would not recognize her own father.

but he was always this way, it seems: he has always loved catastrophically.

everything is red. saturated in threat; a screaming, nauseating red. it turns his stomach just to look, to peer down the chamber of his gun. the blinking of the alarm light. the maroon stains on his hands. the metallic smell seeping from the slumped vests. the thick pools he steps through, the footprints following him around every corner. they will catch up to him eventually. they always do.

his paws hurt. pads skinned raw from all the running. his lungs ache, now, too. his throat lurches for breath, closes in on itself and then sticks, choking him. he cannot remember the heat of the sun on his arms. he does not know when he last said her name.

he doesn’t remember when he last said anything. he speaks in growls and barks and bites. when his mouth opens, his lips curl by instinct. he swallows his drawl and replaces it with something sharper. something poisonous. there’s foam lining his gums.

all he has – of this he is sure – is his brute force and the quick snap of his bite. the shattering of bone, the mauling of flesh. the brawn and breadth of his body; the squeeze of a trigger with one thoughtless pull. all he knows how to do is swing.

and so, one heavy boot steps in front of the other. crunching over broken glass and scuffing over bullet shells. whereisshewhereisshewhereisshe. it loops through his head like it used to when he could see color and feel the wind in his ears. like chasing his tail. catchitcatchitcatchit.

where did she go – the moon? which cloud is she hiding behind? how many men do his maws have to tear apart to find her?

and what will she think when she sees him again? his collar missing and his claws dripping crimson. when she feels the rips in his ears, sees the scar on the side of his head. what will she do, when she runs her hand down his dirty coat, and in place of a loving lick or nuzzle of the nose, he sinks his teeth straight into her wrist?

swear to me. swear to me that everything you said about the fireflies is true.

the dog lowers his head obediently. his ears fall flat. tail curls between his back legs. the wind pushes hard against joel’s chest, threatening to take him with it. i swear, he says.

ellie’s gaze falls. she nods once. tightens her fist around the dog’s leash.

okay.

-

lots of inspo drawn from:

how to be a dog by andrew kane

grit by silas denver melvin

monster theory: reading culture by jeffrey jerome cohen [seven theses]

[yansurnummu]

oh shit I guess we're doing pinned posts now

hi I'm Rory/Yans and I don't know what video games are

AO3 // Pillowfort (18+)

Gardening & woodworking sideblog: @garryoakenthusiast

Discord: yansurnummu

ESO: hentus-yansurnummu (PC-NA), yansurnummu (Xbox)

I mostly post about Elder Scrolls with a focus on ESO but sometimes throw in other stuff for flavour. This usually includes Critical Role, Baldur's Gate, Destiny, cool art I like, and probably others once in a while. I occasionally post nsfw art & fic that will be tagged #yans after dark.

Tags:

my art

my writing

music recs

Fic Archive:

ESO:

To the Horrors I've Known and Loved (2023 - Ongoing)

Like Winter (2022 - Ongoing)

A Variation of the Truth (Completed; 2022)

Oblivion:

The Blood of the Coven (Completed; 2016)

Destiny 2:

Destiny Oneshots Collection (2018 - 2021)

My ESO OCs:

Dralvayn "Drals" Arano (he/him)

Dunmer // Arcanist

My cranky old wizard. To the Horrors I've Known and Loved is his story, where he gets put through the horrors and learns the power of friendship.

He's gay/demisexual but he doesn't discover that until partway through the fic, and even then he has a ways to go before he allows himself nice things. He becomes hopelessly in love with Azandar, and later on has a bit of a thing with Zerith-var. He starts out kind of an asshole but he will get better. Probably. He's my little chew toy :)

(tag)

Asha-ammu Kaushad (they/them)

Dunmer (Ashlander) // Nightblade // Vampire

Asha is my precious little princess who I would die for. Like Winter is sort of a character study, following the progression of their relationship with Donobhan, and told from his point of view.

They're nonbinary & transfem, and very shy and a little awkward. They love fungi & dwemer architecture.

(tag)

Donobhan Ravenfriend (he/him)

Reachman // Warden

Don is my sweet boy. He was originally of the Spiritblood clan but left when he couldn't go through with the Vateshran's Rites. He loves nature and has a lot of wisdom about the ways of the world & life & death but is also kind of an orange cat and sometimes his head is empty. His best friend is his guardian wolf, Calahan.

(tag)

Sadryn Favel (he/him?)

Dunmer // Warden // Werewolf

Sadryn is a hot bisexual mess whose favourite pastime is being a public nuisance. He's like 22 and will never die. He has a twin sister, Serysi, who belongs to @tilliphont. She's a grumpy butch and the two of them would die for each other but will probably kill each other first before that happens. The two of them were born to a Telvanni family that expected a lot from them and they ran away from that bad situation at some point. They also have a pet bear named Sujamma.

If he stopped for longer than 2 seconds to look inwards he would probably have a weird gender but alas he is going 5000mph and has a substance abuse problem so we may never know. He's got a big ol crush on Ember but she thinks he's stinky.

(tag)

Auredil (he/him)

Altmer // Templar // Vestige

Auredil is my canon Vestige and gay disaster. A Variation of the Truth is sort of a tragedy that alternates between his point of view (past) and Lindir's point of view (present). Auredil was once a captain in Queen Ayrenn's navy (First Auridon Marines) where he fell in love with Prince Naemon and he and Kinlady Estre became good friends. After the events of Auridon, Naemon shuts Auredil out which drives him to make a pact with Meridia while in a bad mental state, thus being granted his Templar abilities and the rest of the main quest being set in motion.

(tag)

Lilanwe (she/her)

Altmer // Necromancer

Lily is trans & bisexual and could be a villain if she was just like 12% more evil. But instead she chose to be niceys and is just kind of a little morally dubious sometimes.

She was once a promising mage and scholar who, after her brother Auredil's disappearance, fell in with the wrong crowd and turned to necromancy and the Worm Cult. They meet again on opposite sides of the conflict, and Auredil convinces her to leave the cult behind and help him fix everything. She has a penchant for being headstrong and righteous, and after the Planemeld and Auredil's (supposed) death, she goes on a revenge quest to eradicate the remains of the Worm Cult. As a treat.

(tag)

Coralantar (he/they)

Maormer // Sorcerer

Coral was a powerful storm witch who joined up with the Sea Vipers when he was young and wanted to get away from Pyandonea, but quickly recognised the atrocities the raiders were committing. After meeting Auredil in Khenarthi's Roost, he turns on the Vipers from the shadows and eventually works with the Eyes of the Queen as a spy. The Desert is a Memory of the Ocean is sort of an unfinished sequel/spinoff of Auredil's fic, in which Coralantar and @tilliphont's Galen find themselves lost in Elsweyr in the aftermath of defeating Molag Bal and have to work together to piece together what happened.

(tag)

[jimmywilsonschutzpah]

Ok, it's finally time to have an intro post. This is a House MD sideblog, and unofficially a Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie sideblog. Chutzpah is a Yiddish word that means that someone is being insolent or audacious, so the name of the blog is a bit of a joke. I am not Jewish though, I just grew up watching The Nanny.

I'm a neurospicy fandom old that has been reading and writing fic for 20+ years. There will be 18+ content here, but I don't police who interacts with the posts and reblogs, just be sensible. I will block accounts without pfps, titles or reblogs, so please look like a human before you follow me so I don't think you're a bot.

I’m running the House MD Prompt & Kink Meme on AO3, come join us there!

I suck at keeping my blog organized with tags, but I try to do my best. I do not tag for House MD spoilers. Everything here is Hilson flavored, so I don't tag for the ship. But other tags that might interest you:

#meta: Meta posts or general meta conversations

#grey thoughts: My own posts

#fic rec: Fic recs, either because I put together a list, answered an ask or reblogged a fic I liked

#videos: Posts with videos from the show, interviews with actors, or edits

#fanart: Reblogged fanart, usually hilson

#medical malpractice polycule: My tag for House/Wilson/Cuddy (hudson)

#medical malpractice polycule 2: electric boogaloo: My tag for House/Wilson/Amber

#robert sean leonard and #hugh laurie: Tags for the actors when they are giving interviews or for their other roles

#Not Houseposting: Posts that aren't about House MD but are related to fandom or make me think of the blorbos from my shows

And I think that's it. Have fun everyone.

ETA: House MD is a show that deals with self-harm, self-destruction, suicide and addiction. I sometimes tag trigger warnings for them, but just be cautious as you’re wading through the House waters. Please be well and reach out if you need help.

[toxicanonymity]

RULES & FAQs

THIS BLOG IS 18+ NO MINORS 🔞

WELCOME ABOARD! This blog has amazing readers which makes it a lot of fun. You can call me Tox or Toxy (she/her). I usually write smut. Sometimes I write darkfic. I dabble in horror. Please do not follow me if you're sensitive to the warnings on my masterlists, found in my bio. Check your content settings to make sure you can see everything. Heed warnings on fics. Last updated July 2024.

Basics

Tox/Toxy, she/her, millennial. English or Spanish.

WIPs are on hiatus. I'm kinda struggling but trying to do my best. Thank you for your patience.

Do not copy, translate, or reupload my work. Do not put it into AI or make bots of it. Ty for understanding.

Please do not follow me if you are averse to dark content including dubcon and noncon.

Q: Are Requests open?

A: No, but questions are welcome 🩷

Q: Will you write more every inch/left in Lincoln?

A: I would like to. More here. For Every Inch, there are two more parts planned.

Q: When is [fic] coming back? How many chapters?

A: IDK, sorry :( If I knew I'd tell you. In the future, I'm not planning to release things as I write, I'm gonna try to finish everything before posting. Problem is I have a lot of one shot fails / play as I go AUs. We'll see. I can tell you Every Inch has 6 total parts planned.

Q: Did you read my fic?

A: I wish I could read everyone's fics, but in addition to there being a lot of you, I'm a slow/bad reader. I'm also overdosed on pedro rn, but I still share fics on @toxicrecs. You are welcome to send a fic or tag me if you think the readers here would like it. When I read a fic, I also reblog it here on main. I am most likely to read shorter drabbles/fics.

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A: Here, I've done a lot of catching up but still not everything is on there. If there's something specific you would like me to bring over let me know and I will.

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A: Please follow @toxicfics, use the person icon to turn on notifications, and use this trick for getting a tab on your dashboard just for your blog subscriptions so you can see what you missed.

Q: Are the fics always dark on this blog?

A: No.

Q: What is the brothel?

A: I HC my characters as living in a brothel which has its own crack sideblog @toxicbrothel.

Q: What are Joelkémons?

A: Reader-coined term for the Joel variants on this blog. Some are listed here: Joelkémon cards.

Q: Can we make your characters into bots?

A: No, please don't do this. It makes me feel bad and they don't even work. Every time, it puts me farther away from updating the fic. Please lmk if you ever see my work made into a bot, copied, etc. Please don't draw attention to it without speaking to me first 🙏🏼 I generally like to keep things quiet and not make a big deal out of it.

Q: Who's night walks!Joel? Who's thighs out?

A: Night Walks is an AU where Joel is your hot, older, creepy pothead neighbor. Night walks masterlist. Thighs out (another AU) is your boyfriend's hot slutty dad.

Q: What's a HOG? Who/what is GILF?

A: Hot Old Guy, from Silence can never be bought pt. 2 and 5. GILF is grandpa I'd Like to Fuck and may refer to the one from Pawn Shop (Joel in his 60s) @gilfjoel.

Q: Who is Dr. Rock?

A: Hot sex therapist who roleplays my characters. Dr. Rock is also the poster boy for avoiding discourse.

Q: Do you still write slashers?

A: Yes. I just wrote my first Thomas Hewitt in March 2024. Main/slashers masterlist.

Q: What other fics & blogs do you rec?

A: Please check out @toxicrecs

Q: How can I stay motivated to write without getting a lot of notes?

A: Please see these posts: here and here.

Q: Why did you unfollow me?

A: I could've lost (some or all) interest in your fandom. I may have forgotten why I followed you, especially if what you're posting has changed. Or I might be wanting to reduce the discourse I see.

✨Q: Am I blocked? Why can't I see your main blog from my account? / Did you soft block me?

⚠️ A: The most common reasons I block are for policing or judging what others post, kink shaming, or spreading harmful rumors. ⚠️

When it comes to rumors and shaming, silence is not a sign of guilt or agreement. It's confidence in the truth and desire to keep harmful takes off the dash. As a rule, I would ignore and block false accusations, rumors, or kink shamers instead of giving them a huge audience by responding or addressing it.

Harmful takes in the wild / targeted harassment: blocked. And if a post is bad enough--such as calling for targeted harassment of writers or trivializing a serious crime by casually accusing writers of it, I may block people for positively interacting with it. I don't want to be on your dash if you share those views, even if it's about something I don't write. On my blog, it's important for readers to be able to understand fiction can't be equated with real life. And who's to say I won't offend or traumatize you on a different topic one day? It's for your own good.

You can get blocked on anon too.

[imbibitorlunaetic]

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❥ aerin || 26 || she/her

na server • tb66 (?) • putting the loony in lunaetic /j

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🔞 hsr sideblog for art, memes, lore, fics, etc.

> started a hi3rd player, ended up a genshin addict, then fell down into the hsr 🐇 🕳

> very dan heng biased ..but you wouldn't have guessed that, i know. (i also adore himeko & jingliu, cause i love bad bitches too) a lot of the content i reblog will likely be danstelle centric, as that is my current hyperfixation ( ᵕ̳ з ᵕ̳ )و 💚

> not interested in diskhorse. as previously stated, i'm basically just here to bask in all my preferred fan content.

> don't worry about a dni list cause the block button exists and if/when i need to use it, i will do so.

> speaking of however, this blog may include adult/nsft content from time to time and as such, mdni, please & ty.

> not a whale (anymore) but also not fully f2p (monthly/bp usually). i do not believe there is a right or wrong way to play this game, at the end of the day it's just a game and not even pvp, so let's all please remain cordial.

> whether you're a meta slave, crack build enthusiast, waifu/husbando enjoyer, casual player, lore/theory enthusiast, irdc. what i do care is that you treat myself & others with respect, otherwise you'll be getting the boot 👢 plain & simple <3

Blog tags:

#aerinposting // #imbibitorlunaetic (my posts)

#aerin.txt (text posts)

#aerin.jpg // aerin.jpeg // aerin.gif // aerin.mp4

(posts with images / personal images / my gifs / my vids)

#lunaetic.milestones (account milestones)

#lunaetic.gacha // #lunaetic.pulls (my pulls)

#lunaetic.teams // #lunaetic.builds (my builds)

#lunaetic recs (fanfic recs)

(Fanart/comics are usually just tagged as "art" or "comics" respectively. Remember to blacklist and filter any tags or words that may make you uncomfortable, happy scrolling!)

─────────── 〔 🍒 〕 ───────────

*** Tags will be typically used accordingly for things like spoilers, leaks, etc. as my blog is not always free of these. Please consume content at your own risk, and blacklist any tags as you deem necessary, thanks! ***

[narastories]

PSA - Navigation

I’ve overcome my denial and accepted that I’ll probably dabble in a few fandoms as a fic writer in the foreseeable future. So I went ahead and organized my tags a little.

This is by no means the blog of an organized tumblrina, but I did a little clean-up. Mostly for myself, maybe some of you will also find it helpful. I put my most used fandom-related tags out on little buttons if you are on PC, because this super-duper design has 10 of them. Highly recommend these themes btw.

If you’re interested in my fics, my AO3 is here.

I also have a gif sideblog that I occasionally post to.

And here is the non-exhaustive list if you want to block/find something:

- Dresden Files is filed under #nara’s dresden phase now. There is also #denarian brainrot Look if you dare or filter out to save your soul. Fair warning, there is a lot of overlap when it comes to my blog.

- all Fetch Phillips Archives stuff is under (surprise) #fetch phillips archives and I can finally stop annoying myself by tagging everything with the first book title. Come join our Sunder City Book Club server.

- most Outlander stuff is tagged as #lord john grey since he’s the one I care about the most (and Tom, but they are usually attached on this blog) BJR obviously comes with his own trigger warning #tw: black jack randall Warning, I’m not that active in that fandom anymore

- I usually tag fic posts as #my fic or #fic rec as applicable but you can also check out my masterlist which I also moved to a button bc while it’s pretty, it also took up a lot of space. (And I’m not the best at updating this regularly tbh)

- other things I reblog a lot of are: #hellraiser, #nara’s gaming adventures

And then you can always try your luck with shipping tags ;)

Enjoy sifting through my collection of shiny things if you so desire xx

[on-stardust-wings]

It says to send ramble prompts, but I have a question? A favor? You're an active Good Omens blog that tags posts. Can you post a list of common tags to help find things on this hellsite?

Oh, hello!

I'm afraid I cannot tell you how to find things on this hellsite; not even the Old Hellsite Gods know that. I can however do my best to explain the tags I use for this small, specific circle of hell(site). (And no worries, as shall be immediately demonstrated, I can and will ramble even about tags.)

I never intended for the tags here to be anything but a help to find things myself, so I'm not sure how useful you'll find them? A very common but useless for anyone but me tag for example is "my posts and additions". It used to be two tags, one for posts where I was the op and one for things I added to someone else's post, but as most of the posts I make are meta discussion stuff, the whole point is that people add to them and you can bounce thoughts back and forth, so it became that catch both versions thing. But it really only exists so I can find my own posts for personal reference and stuff; why would anyone else want to specifically find my ramblings? Another useless tag is "good omens"... This is my Good Omens sideblog, so almost everything here is Good Omens.

Okay. So. Common and/or actually useful tags. (How to tag search note: you can find tagged posts by entering the tag into the URL bar of your browser behind a blog's address. Replace all spaces with a dash. So searching for "good omens" on my blog will become "https://on-stardust-wings.tumblr.com/tagged/good-omens". I'm putting links for the bigger things, but I'll still be here by Christmas if I link every individual thing. As you will see, it's quite a list.)

There are things I consider Category Tags, which are pretty self-explanatory:

"good omens season 2" or "good omens 2" (Block that to avoid spoilers. I try to be consistent, but I'm fairly sure I've spelled it out as "two" a few times, or forgot the "season", so to be safe, block all conceivable versions of those if you need.)

"good omens meta"

"good omens headcanon"

"good omens fanart"

"good omens fic" (other fic tags are "good omens fic rec", "ficlet" for the short read-on-tumblr things, and "my fics" and "my writing" which is currently just a bit of ramblings about writing progress and anecdotes, but will be more about the actual fics once I start posting something)

"behind the scenes"

Character Tags are usually a character's full name (so "Newton Pulsifer" instead of "Newt"). For filtering, these are useful if you're looking for stuff including one of the less common characters, but as so many posts are tagged "Aziraphale" and "Crowley", usefulness for filtering of those two character tags is debatable. But I do use them consistently, so knock yourself out finding an endless list of Crowley posts.

Topic Tags filter for something specific, like scenes, events, settings or themes.

These include the Through the Ages Tags: "Eden", "the Fall", "1941", "1967", "1862", "the Bastille", "the Flood", "the Crucifixion", "41 AD" (might be sometimes tagged as "41 A.D." or simply as "Rome"), "Wessex", "the Globe" and "2007".

Events I know I have tagged would be "the Body Swap", "the Bandstand" and "the Bookshop Fire". Other common topic tags are "Aziraphale's Bookshop", "Crowley's Flat", "Crowley's Plants", "the Bentley", "Heaven", "Hell", "Holy Water", "Hellfire", "the Eagle Lectern", "the Wrestling Angels", "the Convent", "the M25", "love", "friendship", "imagination", "miracles" and I'm sure I've forgotten something.

Try "lol" or "OMG I'm wheezing" for funny things, and "oops it's sad" for posts that happened to catch the angst and depression train.

As they tend to be hard to find, posts with Book!Omens content of any kind are tagged "book omens".

I also have a tag for "wings", because wings are epic. Searching by that will give you lots of cool artwork with beautiful and fluffy angel and demon wings, plus a handful of meta discussion and fic.

Some non-Good Omens tags that sometimes come up are "fanfiction", "writing" (and variances and combinations thereof), "queer" and "ace stuff". But very few things here aren't Good Omens.

I suppose that's it. Happy fighting with the hellsite search and filtering function.

[sweatersstyles]

Do you have any fic recs??

hey bub! yes I do! I have so many favorites but here’s a list for you. these are by no means in order of who I love the most just some really great people and fics that stuck with me after I read them. Highly recommend checking out all these blogs and their writing tags and masterlists!!

If you aren’t on this list please don’t get upset with me because I love all writers and didn’t intentionally leave you out!!

Okay so @bfharry was one of the first writers I stumbled upon in this fandom and I love everything written by Olivia! It’s all so comforting and the way she creates these little dream worlds for you to escape to is just..perfection. My faves from her are routine, hum, and groovy. Also just scroll through her concept tag or her sideblog @bfharryficrec!! She’s also just one of the coolest people I know :)

I haven’t read everything from her masterlist but what I have read from Miss Willa @bopbopstyles I have LOVED! Poor Willa usually gets my drunken or just general ramblings whenever I read one of her fics and I love her for putting up with me!! The ones I’ve read that I will always recommend are Rose Colored Glasses (and the extra!!), Bad for Me, and Good Together. Such a talented babe!! 

Everything from @froggystyles is so eloquently written but the heart of life, stardust, and alocasia have a special place in my heart!  

Let’s Make a Movie from @tbslenthusiast SO HOT and again I plan to consume her whole masterlist the second I can!

Fix You by @stellarboystyles like can Harry please baby me like that? I remember reading that and just melting it’s so beautiful! I recently re-discovered it and fell in love all over again. :)

Smooth Operator which I read the first few parts of a few weeks ago and just realized was an older fic from @for-fucks-sake-h! I’ll be finishing that series ASAP cause it was just..ugh SO GOOD. Also JUST this second discovered that Never Coming Back Down was written by her?? That was one of the first smutty Harry fics I read!

@iconicharry has some super sweet concepts and my faves are here, here, and here! She also has a fic rec blog @iconicficrecs

You can also just go through my fics tag because it would be impossible to list all my faves!! Hopefully you enjoy all of these as much as I did though!!

[thevikingwoman]

Tagged!

Tagged by @roguelioness and @a-shakespearean-in-paris thanks friends!

1: Why did you choose your url?

Because I’m Danish, so I tend to pick some variation of ‘viking’ as username, and I’m a woman and vikingwoman was taken ;P. I AM wondering if I should re-pick some days, sadly viking imagery sometimes get co-opted by white supremacists and they can get the fuck out of my blog, my culture, and the world. 

2: Any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have a couple. I created an ME sideblog that I given up on using, too complicated I try to tag any non-DA content I post here instead. I have a blog for explicit images, from when tumblr allowed them. It still have some items on it that has not yet been moderated. I have a blog I posted a few nature pictures on. And ofc I’m an admin at @dadrunkwriting, but it’s hardly my blog. Plently of opportunity for messing up when posting. 

3: How long have you been on tumblr?

Since aug 2016

4: Do you have a queue tag?

I use #scheduled post

5: Why did you start your blog in the first place?

When I finished Trespasser I was in distress, I was shaken in a way I had no business being. (Thanks Solas). I was looking to find fics and used to previous fandoms on livejournal and so forth. I was looking where things were at, and it seemed to be here. Ao3 is nice, but I was looking for fic recs and events such as big bangs and awards (not that DA fandom does awards, so sad)

6: Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

My idon is me, drawn by @destinyapostasy. Hair is wrong color though ( I have 4 versions and none of them is the right hair color lol, it’s become a darkish blonde boring color)

7: Why did you choose your header?

My header is Solas, drawn by @destinyapostasy, it’s just a great drawing of him looking sad. That’s all this blog still is - sad Solas.

8: What’s your post with the most notes?

Apparently it is a post about some investigation of tumblr character limitation in posts ? I have a couple of posts that got a lot of notes, and I had to notification block them. 

9: How many mutuals do you have?

I don’t know? and while I love my mutuals dearly, I don’t want to put too much stock in it. I understand people might not follow me for various reasons, but we can still be friends! 

10: How many followers do you have?

Uh a bunch? It’s weird how the longer you have the blog sometimes you get these bursts of random follows? (not spam blogs either). anyway hi people, I am happy you’re here!! Please do know though that I don’t really keep track of my followers and if you don’t want to follow I’m not going to wonder about it. You do you! 

11: How many people do you follow?

262 which is too many. I have a goal of 200. Some of these are very low activity blogs though. 

12: Have you ever made a shitpost?

Probably

13: How often do you use tumblr each day?

I usually check quite often, but not always? It’s a habit. 

14: Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Somewhat? I counterargued some head canon that annoyed me, and the OP (and at one time very popular solavellan writer) argued back, missing my point entirely. It was shortlived though :P. I don’t think someone can be declared a winner hahaha.

Have I felt like starting a fight? yes

15: How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

I don’t reblog and if people post to many of those I unfollow. Nothing bugs me more than guilting into behavior, esp with a sprinkle of performative allyship. 

16: Do you like tag games?

Yes please tag me!!! I might take a bit to reply but I do try to get around to it!

17: Do you like ask games?

Yes! both for me and my OCs. I try to send asks when I see people posting them too, though sometimes I miss it.

 I also miss TMI tuesday when people would really TMI, but I guess the fandom group I hung out with is less active + we already covered the TMIs lmao. I 

18.Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I have mutuals who I deeply love and respect, does that count? 

tagging: @galadrieljones @destinyapostasy @ma-sulevin @wrenbee @luzial @ladylike-foxes @salexectria @allaganexarch  @buttsonthebeach @scharoux @idrelle if you want!

[tipsydipsydo]

「© tipsydipsydo」

These following "Truth or Dare"-Answers/Scenarios are my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!

I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!

That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.

Thank you.

➸ Blog Navigation

A post where you'll find all my other themed Masterlists of my writings, my personal sideblog, my fic-recs blogs and so much more!

➸ My Networks

This is a list of all the networks where I got accepted as a writer in their community. Please check them out!

Requests are currently closed!

Do you wanna play naughty truth or dare with the boys?

...then send me one dirty question for a member and we will see how they will answer~

I bet we will have muuch fun! 💜

(I got this Idea from the lovely @pinkcottonmochi 💗 and her breathtaking filthy and indecent answer to my own request inspired me to try it as well! ...just in the very naughty version, how Tipsy likes it~ Please check her blog out 😈💦) 

18th May 2021

[Information]: 

Usually I answer the Truth or Dare requests on my phone and post them over the day. To add the links to this masterlist, I need my Laptop or my Ipad and I don’t have them always with me. 

So it could be possible that I’ve finished some new requests but they’re not added to the list until now.  I’ll try my best to update this list on a daily basis but when you’re curious if I answered some new Truth or Dare questions, just look through the newest posts of my blog ;)

» Gender «

Male Reader: ♂️

Female Reader: ♀

Gender neutral Reader: ☮

» Genres «

Soft Smut: 💋

Hard Smut: 😈

❥ Daddy? 😈 | ♀ ▸ Truth: Does Jin like being called Daddy?  ▸ Dare: I dare him to finger the reader till she squirts!   ❥ “Erotic Thoughts”💋 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: Are you really one of the most perv out of the boys? You seem so shy... ▸ Dare: If you are, then I dare you to prove it to me, I just can’t believe it!  ❥ Cream filled 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: What gets you hard almost instantly?  ▸ Dare: Stuff me full with your cum, please Daddy!  ❥ Not so pure thoughts  😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: Jin do you prefer to dom or sub?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to eat me out with your sweet sweet lips!  ❥ Aftercare 💋 |  ♂️ ▸ Truth: what’s your favorite type of aftercare you like to give to your sub?

❥ Is that weird? 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: What’s your weirdest fantasy?  ▸ Dare: Let me suck you off while you facetime someone!  ❥ For the audio 😈 | ☮

▸ Truth: do you feel better jacking off to porn or thoughts of me? I know you watch it quite often, especially when you’re off on tour. ▸ Dare: I dare you to fill up every hole in me. 

❥ Mistress | 😈 | ♀ ▸ Truth: Would you let me eat your ass? ▸ Dare: Get under the table and eat me out while I’m sitting withe the boys.  ❥ Deserved Spanks 😈 | ��� 

▸ Dare: I dare you to bend me over your studio table and spank me!  ❥ Language Lesson 😈💋 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: Have you ever fantasized about role playing with me?  ▸ Dare: Wake me up by eating me out!  ❥ Erogenous Zones 💋 |  ♂️

▸ Dare: I dare you to let me give you neck kisses!  ❥ Fuck me awake 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: Joonie Baby, what do you think about somnophilia?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to cockwarm me until this game ends!  ❥ Corrupting you...  😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: joonie do you have a corruption kink?  ▸ Dare: i dare you to put your fat cock down my throat!

❥ Home alone 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: namjoon, how do you get yourself off when im not there?  ❥ More Stamina needed 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: First time we had sex, is my pussy felt that good you’ve never felt that way??  ▸ Dare: i dare u to make it up to me right now in front of them, baby boy i wanna see how long you last!  ❥ Until the other come... 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Dare: Joon, I dare you to go out with a pair of vibrating panties. Both of us, so we can tease each other under the table. Whoever cums first has to go down on the other!

❥ Possession  😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: Hi Daddy do you miss me and can you show me how much?  ▸ Dare: Hm would you ever let any of the other members fuck me? 

❥ Blowjob Addiction  😈 | ♂️

▸ Truth: Do you like seeing me drool all over your cock?

❥ Restraints 💋😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: have you ever gotten off to the thoughts of me in restraints, completely under your control?  ▸ Dare: please manhandle me!  ❥ Your Voice 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: Do you have any kinks you haven’t told me about?  ▸ Dare: Do your best to seduce me! ...or not, it’s up to you.   ❥ Exhibitionist 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Dare: I dare you to fuck me in front of the other members!  ❥ So sensitive 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to suck on my Nipples!  ❥ Bangtan’s Whore  😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: What’s your dirtiest Fantasy about your Babygirl?  ▸ Dare: Ruin my ass, Daddy!  ❥ Confession 💋 | ♀

▸ Truth: Be honest, you love getting cuddles from me?  ▸ Dare: Tell me all your dirty fantasies you want to experience with me in that raspy voice of yours!  ❥ Ice Cubes 💋 |  ♂️(trans* male! Reader)

▸ Dare: Yoongi, pop an ice cube in your mouth and go down on me for 30 seconds.

❥ Hand Fetish 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: would you rather have me suck on your neck or your fingers? ▸ Dare: And I dare you to face fuck me!  ❥ Daddy or Sir? 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: do you prefer daddy or sir?  ▸ Dare: choke me! 

❥ Breakfast in bed 😈 | ♂️(trans* male! Reader) 

▸ Dare: I dare you to wake me up by eating me out 

❥ Cuddles? 💋| ☮

▸ Truth: is that true that you prefer to have a long cuddling sessions with soft kisses over quick make out? ▸ Dare: I dare you to show me the last search on your phone.

❥ Would you? 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: what’s your honest opinion on skinny girls? ▸ Dare: I dare you to ruin yourself with a sex toy.

❥ Sensitive 😈 | ☮

▸ Truth: Are you afraid for me to find out that you like to be ruined? Afraid that I might find out you liked to be called baby boy while you’re completely fucked out over a dildo? ▸ Dare: I dare you to leave this prostate vibrator in for the entire day

❥ Such a tease 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: do you often look at all the photos you took of me, whether it be in lingerie or not when on tour? ▸ Dare: I dare you to remind me of my place. I even have your favorite plug in and that white Lacey lingerie you love so much. I’m all stretched out and prepared for you~  ❥ A half an hour 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: What’s in your opinion the most attractive on me and why?  ▸ Dare: You have a half an hour to do everything you want with me without taking care~  ❥ Inacceptable 😈 | ☮ 

▸ Dare: I don’t think you can bend me over the table right now, I dare you to try it though.  ❥ Lap Dance 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to make me hard!  ❥ Hold you tight 💋 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: what helps you relax after a long day? ▸ Dare: if you'd like to, then show me how can I help with it?

❥ Watching from a safe distance 😈 | ♀

▸ Dare: play with me in front of the others!  ❥ 5-Minutes Orgasm Challenge 😈 | ♂️

▸ Truth: What's your favorite body part for me to suck on? ▸ Dare: Try to make me orgasm in 5 minutes.

❥ Body Shot 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: What's your honest, sexual opinion of plus sized girls? ▸ Dare: I dare you to do a body shot off your bff.

❥ Insecurities 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: Have you ever thought of fucking other girls than me? ▸ Dare: Fuck me until I forget my name.

❥ Taking care 😈 | ☮

▸ Truth: Will you let me take care of you? Will you let me take care of your pretty cock and hole? Would you let me completly dominate you?

❥ Confession 😈 | ☮

▸ Truth: Have you ever wrecked yourself with a thick dildo in your room when the members are only a couple rooms away?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to stick a vibrating egg up you and edge yourself. 

❥ Most secret Kink 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader)

▸ Truth: What’s something you’ve wanted to try and put into your ass? ▸ Dare: Tell me your most secret kink and do it to me! 

❥ Strip Tease 😈 | ☮ 

▸ Dare: I dare you to strip for me!  ❥ Make-Out Session 😈 | ☮

▸ Truth: Do you have a crush on someone?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to go him/her and then make out with them!  ❥ Massages 😈 | ♂️

▸ Dare: I dare you to give me a massage!  ❥ Eat that ass!  😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to do something you’ve been fantasizing about doing to me!  ❥ So pure and fertile 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: What is your favourite way of ruining your partner?  ▸ Dare: I want you to look at me and touch yourself. Show me how much you want to do those things!  ❥ Threesome?  😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: Jimin, if I gave you the chance to choose someone in this room for us to have a threesome with, who would you pick and why?

❥ So shy and nasty 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader)

▸ Truth: who would you rather watch fuck me: taehyung or yoongi? ▸ Dare: i dare you to fuck me until i can’t walk

❥ Against the window 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: Jimin, what do you think about my small boobs? On top of having small ones, I even have freckles on the right one which I'm a little bit conscious about. ▸ Dare: I dare you to breed me like a bitch in heat in front of the floor to ceiling glass window where people from other building can take a peek.  ❥ Public Make-out Sesh 😈 | ♂️

▸ Dare: Jimin, I dare you to play with my nipples!  ❥ Let’s sub together 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare:  So, I dare you to pick a member and let him ruin us both. 

❥ Fantasies 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: have you ever masturbated to one of my nudes? ▸ Dare: Fuck my ass. hard. 

❥ Cum Painting 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: where do you love to cum? on my ass, face, stomach? in my mouth? or inside me?  ▸ Dare: fuck this pussy up, please daddy.  ❥ X-Position 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: Would you fuck me in the X-Position?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to rub your dick against my clit for as long you can take it without entering me.  ❥ Love Making 💋 | ♀

▸ Truth: Do you love me? Do you prefer to make love to me or have sex?  ▸ Dare: Fuck my pussy with all the strength you have... until you break me in two... 

❥ Wax Play 😈 | ☮

▸ Truth: What sex act you’ve done that you’ll never do again?  ▸ Dare: Imitate my most flexible sex move!  ❥ Cream Tube 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: What are some of your favourite Toys to use when Daddy is not around?  ▸ Dare: Send me a Video of you using it.  ❥ Kitten 😈 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: do you prefer me wearing a cat tail plug or in cuffs? ▸ Dare: Ruin me! 

❥ Exhibitionist or Voyeur?  😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: do you like watching or being watched? ▸ Dare:  i dare you to cover me in hickies! 

 ❥ First Time 💋 | ♀ ▸ Truth: How would you make my first time special?   ❥ My everything 💋 | ♀ 

▸ Truth: What's your favourite song to dance to with me?  ▸ Dare: Paint me like one of your Austrian girls 

❥ The Butter Concept Photo 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: Why the fuck did you choose this outfit and this pose for the new concept photos?! Why the fuck did you do that?! ▸ Dare: Fuck me. Fuck me in any way you want me, just fucking take care of the problem you've caused! Is that clear?! 

❥ Good Boy? 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) 

▸ Truth: Do you like giving out punishments or rewards better?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to overstimulate me until one of us can take it anymore...

❥ Milking the Bull 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to jerk me off until I can't cum anymore from being overstimulated!

❥ Nipples on Display 😈 | ♀

▸ Dare: JK! I dare you to convince y/n to go braless and shirtless the whole day so you could suck her nipples anytime you wanted ( when shes studying, lying down, cooking etc) Tell me how it went ;)

❥ Bad Joke? (Hybrid AU) 😈 | ♀

▸ Dare: I dare you to fuck your cubs into me!   

❥ Enough? 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: How do you feel about my small perky boobs? Are they satisfying enough for you?  ▸ Dare: Maybe... you could fill me with so much cum until I’m carrying your healthy and beautiful Baby? 

❥ “Morning Sex” 😈 | ♀

▸ Truth: Have you ever fucked y/n while she was asleep (consensual) so hard and it felt so good?

❥ Naughty wife 😈 | ♀

▸ Dare: I dare you to fuck me beside your wife who is sleeping!

❥ Names  😈 | ♀

▸ Truth:  Am I your dirty little slut?

❥ In class 😈 | ♀

▸ Dare: I dare you to finger me in the classroom and them lick your fingers!  ❥ Favourite toy 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: Describe your favorite -special- Toy to me!  ▸ Dare: Bring the toy and let me use it right in front of everyone!

❥ Consent is sexy!  💋 | ♀ ▸ Truth: What’s your favourite part about sex with me?  ▸ Dare: Be a good boy for me and show me how good you can please me!  ❥ Dirtiest Dream  😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) 

▸ Truth: What’s the dirtiest dream you’ve had and would you wanna reenact it?

❥ Unique wax play  😈 | ♀ ▸ Truth: I caught you watching waxing porn, is there something you want to tell me?  ▸ Dare: You See the Wall over there? Show me what those toned arms can do!

❥ Mirrors 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [ Yoongi & Taehyung] 

▸ Dare: There is this room that has a mirror on the ceiling. I dare you both to fuck me under it!  ❥ Watch us 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [ Hoseok & Jungkook]

▸ Truth: Have you ever thought about fucking me with another member? ▸ Dare: Feed Kookie your cum and let me watch!  ❥ Cutest Bunny 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [ Hoseok & Jungkook]

▸ Truth: If you had to decide who is the cuter Bunny, Jungkook or I? ▸ Dare: I dare you to edge me to the point of tears, in front of the members and call me your bunny or baby boy.

❥ Ride it 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [Jimin & Jungkook] 

▸ Truth: When I’m not around, do you help each other out?  ▸ Dare: Can I ride your Thighs? 

❥ Wanna join, Tae? 😈 | ♂️[Namjoon & Taehyung]

▸ Truth: How would you feel if Taehyung started playing with me? 

❥ Please destroy me!  😈 | ♀ [Jin & Yoongi & Jungkook]

▸ Truth: Tell me everything you three want to do with me!  ▸ Dare: Please destroy me! 

❥ Tag team me! 😈 | ♀ [Hoseok & Seokjin]

▸ Dare: I dare you two to tag team me!  ❥ Thigh-Riding Contest 😈 | ♀ [Namjoon; Jimin & Jungkook]

▸ Dare: Joon, Jimin and Kook… what about a thigh riding competition? It should get tested which man has the best pair of thighs and knows how to use them. The winner is who made me cum on the fastest way… he can have me for the rest of the evening and fuck me like he desires. The losers have to watch the scenery as a punishment…

In Total: 85  ToD-Requests! 

[yeoldontknow]

❧ check in tag

tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333

going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~

1. Why did you choose this url?

its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.

6. Why did you choose your icon?

the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh

7. Why did you choose your header

my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot

8. What's your post with the most notes?

uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those

9. How many mutuals do you have?

honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me

10. How many followers do you have?

more than i probably deserve

11. How many people do you follow?

399

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao

13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?

tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private

15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.

16. Do you like tag games?

i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends

17. do you like ask games?

i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:

@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx

and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x

[karajaynetoday]

how to support your favourite creators on tumblr dot com

hello friends and welcome to unsolicited advice from karajaynetoday

here are 5 simple ways you can support your favourite creators on tumblr/the internet in general, whether they be writers, artists, incredible GIF makers and edit-creators, and everything else in between. I get so much joy out of tumblr content, so I’d thought I’d share some tips that I’ve gathered throughout ten years on this hellsite/safe haven lol

1. REBLOG THEIR CONTENT

go on, tell us how you really feel in the tags. no really, by sharing their original content (always reblog rather than re-post. NEVER re-post without permission or credit - you’ll see on the GIF I’ve used above Tumblr has added the credit to @ghostofmashton as the OG creator), you’re helping give their work more exposure, feedback and love, which is a lovely thing to do.

2. INTERACT AND GIVE FEEDBACK 

Did you lose your mind over that blurb? have a meltdown (in a good way) over that GIFset?? Head on over to their ask box or the replies and let them know!! Giving feedback helps your fave creators figure out what kinds of things you like to read or see on their blog, so they can plan future content! With writing feedback in particular, I like to be specific - if there was a particular phrase or section that made me feel an emotion, I mention it; if there was a particular writing element that struck me (the character dynamics, the scene descriptions, the narrative structure, the fictional universe etc etc) I call that out. A lot of people have an anon option on their ask box if you feel more comfortable giving feedback that way! If creators post things and all it gets is likes but no feedback, it can feel a little bit like you’re screaming into the void! 

3. RECOMMENDATIONS/REQUESTS/FINDING LOST CONTENT

Most creators will say in their bios or on their ask page if requests are open or closed - be sure to be respectful of this! But, did you read a fic or see an edit a while ago that you can’t remember the name or creator of? ASK SOMEONE! Are you in the mood to read a particular kind of vibe? ASK SOMEONE! The 5SOS community on tumblr is incredibly supportive and helpful when it comes to sharing recommendations, whether it’s through having a recommendations sideblog or fic recs tag (for example, I regularly check Lau @sexgodashton‘s rec tag for new pieces to read), responding to specific ask messages that request recommendations, or helping people find things they’re looking for (check out Crystal @kindahoping4forever​ for all your 5sos historian needs) so don’t be afraid to ask.

4. BE RESPECTFUL

yeah look this one is just a good general rule for life and everywhere you are on the internet but basically remember that there is a human on the other side of the screen. this is a safe space, and we can all engage in discourse and headcanons and whatnot, but don’t be a c*nt about it. if you don’t want to see a particular type of content, you can block tags. at the end of the day, the creator of the blog is in control of their own content, and if you don’t like it, unfollow them. if you think their content puts someone in danger or violates the tumblr community guidelines, you can report it. Jex @sadistmichael​ has some of the best NSFW writing on this site, and also some of the most reasonable opinions and responses to divisive discourse and I think this post of theirs sums it up:

a reminder that it’s okay to exist in the same fandom as someone that doesn’t have the same preferences or opinions that you do when it comes to a celebrity you don’t know <3 everyone does not have to think like you to be valid <3 as long as they are not encroaching on someone’s human rights and are in their lane you can unfollow them <3 having different opinions on things is a central part of being an adult in the real world <3 

5. GIVE WHERE YOU CAN 

okay now this is potentially the most controversial one?? maybe?? Idk, that’s why it’s last. obviously right now the world is on FIRE and a lot of people are struggling, so don’t feel pressure at all to do this if you can’t. it’s important to look after yourself first, especially during crazy times like 2020. however, personally I’ve been in a position recently where I’ve had a little spare money (that I would usually spend on my morning coffee in the office, or whatever, that I’m now not spending thanks to rona) and I’ve chosen to support a few of my favourite creators that have ko-fi pages with a small donation as a thank you for their work (@ everyone I follow who doesn’t have a ko-fi page pls make one so I can keep doing this!!! lol). The way I see it, I’d usually buy a book to read, pay for a netflix subscription to watch content, or things like that - so this is my way of repaying creators for delivering excellent content essentially for free in terms of $$$, but not really free if you think about the time and effort that they put into their creations. I know a lot of people pursue creative work for the love and passion they have for it, but everyone also has bills to pay - just because it’s fandom-based work, doesn’t mean it’s any less valuable than mainstream creative work you engage with. If the creators you want to support don’t have a ko-fi or similar, maybe see if you could commission them to do some work for an upcoming birthday or something like that! that being said, donating to support their work doesn't give you ownership or rights - just like buying a 5sos album doesn't. They're not at your beck and call to create and engage 24/7 - see point 4 about BEING RESPECTFUL 🙃🙃🙃

tl:dr: reblog, interact & give feedback, ask for recommendations and make requests, BE RESPECTFUL, give where you can.

thank you for coming to my TED talk <3 

[m88n]

tag games 💘

tagged by @luvdsc thank you as usual lovie !!! 🥺💐

tag games 1 + 2 (handwriting)

LMAOO i rly went n sed yea my handwritings messy n wat about it

part 1

url + sideblogs

favourite quote(s)

works in progress

tagging

part 2

biases

bias wreckers

idols you’ve been shipped with

urls of your mutuals

tag game 3

tag game 3

tag game 3

rule: create yourself using this site!

😃👊🏻

tag game 4 (10 songs shuffled)

rule: put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up, then tag 10 others to do the same.

honeysea - ivoris

nobody else - summer walker

cozy time love - redpestbeats

b.s. (feat. h.e.r.) - jhené aiko

my humps - black eyed peas

osaka (feat. zico) - elo

deep - summer walker

she don’t (feat. ty dolla $ign) - ella mai

p.y.t. (pretty young thing) - michael jackson

meditation - astrud gilberto

tag game 5 (top 13 songs)

rule: list 13 songs you’ve been listening to lately

good days - sza

restless - bibi

love affair - umi

baby powder - jenevieve

she don’t (feat. ty dolla $ign) - ella mai

34+35 remix (feat. doja cat, megan thee stallion) - ariana grande

first love - nct 127

lovesick girls - blackpink

monster - shawn mendes & justin bieber

eternal sunshine - jhené aiko

like i want you - giveon

try again (instrumental) - jaehyun & d.ear

knees - iu

other tag games

rule: answer with your five favourite AUs and themes, then send to your five favourite content creators

5 favorite au’s and themes:

bad boy!au

mafia!au

college!au

fwb

royalty!au

5 favorite content creators:

i have mentioned + explained this before but please if you don’t mind make your way to my fic recs

question: if we lived in a world where u had to do the career u were first interested in as a child what would u be doing?

i’d be a stewardess for a commercial airline! hahaha. i guess when i was super young my mom went on business trips really often, and she always took my sister + i with her. during those trips i suppose the idea of travelling, looking graceful and pretty on an airplane was amazing for such an impressionable young girl hahahaha (i mean . it does sound amazing still . but all jobs r much more than the surface lv stuff yk heh)

tagging @starsuh @neocitycafe @prettyjaems @d-nghy-ck​ 🌻🌻🌻

[singingunderthecurtain]

Under Wraps — Chanyeol [M]

Smut | Angst Canon | BadGirl!Reader X Park Chanyeol 840 Words I’m sorry if you easily get affected by sad endings, this is not for you. I love pain and I just want to share what my kind of angst is, thank you very much. :D P.S. This is the first thing I wrote in a very long time, please let me know if my skills are beginning to recede. Also this is short but (bitter)sweet hahaha.

Your idle time with him and his love for you is under wraps and you got him wrapped around your fingers

“Yeah… Just like that, don’t stop.”

You whimper as you softly caress Chanyeol’s mop of hair in between your legs. One of your feet outlining his back as well while he’s doing so, so great at eating you out exactly how you like it. His nose, mouth, and tongue buried in between your folds, fingers in and out of you.

“Fuck, you’re so good, Chanyeol!”

You cry out when a particular roll of his tongue on your clit hits a nerve so good. You tighten your hold on his hair asudden out of your ministration because of his good agility.

Chanyeol knew the moment you start to pull his hair is when you’re nearing your peak so he did what he knows will make you cry out his name. He picks up his pace and fucks his fingers into you so fast that your voice shakes as he does so. And he doesn’t stop until you’re leaking onto his fingers.

Chanyeol swiftly removes his fingers and jumps up on top of you the moment you scream out his name. With your juices glistening on the lower half of his face, Chanyeol dips in to give you a kiss and you love how shameless he is and doesn’t even wipe his mouth before kissing you. The taste of your own pleasure mixed in with his mouth makes your lust even more intensified.

“Fuck, Chanyeol! Fuck me so good that I forget all the other men I’ve ever been with.”

Chanyeol’s forehead creases in with what you said, you know that he knows he’s not the only one you’re sleeping with. He seems fine with it in normal situations, but the fact that you mention it during sex drives him wild. It helps him fuck you like a teenager in heat and sometimes even choke you when he pleases to.

“Say that again, Princess?”

Chanyeol grabs your jaws roughly with his huge hand, to give your neck wet kisses.

“I said, fuck me so hard that I forget any man other than you.”

You whispered with all your might with how much he was holding your neck now. 

And to that, he startlingly rams his cock inside of you. Both your hands reach up to hold his wrist with the hand that was choking you already, not too tight but not loose either.

He continues to thrust hard and fast while just looking straight at you with so much fire in his eyes. 

He doesn’t seem to get tired, his appetite just seems to get more and more improved the more he continues his onslaught on you.

You’re all mewls and curses as you reach your high and Chanyeol never waivers with his consistent movements. This is exactly what you like about him, he’s consonant and steady.

You like him a lot, you like the sex, you like lying next to him and you certainly like the camaraderie when you’re together.

But sadly, you don’t like him enough to stay.

So you finally stood up, this time just ten minutes after you both reached your high.

You always do that to him, and he is used to you leaving first. Nothing new for Chanyeol.

However, this time, you did not take your time. You did not do what you usually do after he made you cum multiple times during the nights you see each other.

You usually use your phone to check on your SNS for about fifteen or so minutes. Cuddle him a bit and give him a taste of your sweet side for a fraction of a time and then go ahead and leave him hanging, just when his heart is about to burst and believe that you might actually truly love him to go on and take a shower and use his expensive shampoo and conditioner and then leave his flat.

But right now, you’re hurrying to put on your clothes. Not even bothering to wipe yourself clean and just put on your underwear like the stickiness doesn’t bother you. He knows the combination of both your release bothers you a lot when it trickles down your thighs. But today is different and it distresses Chanyeol a lot.

“Not gonna shower?”

He asks carefully, slowly pushing himself up his bed to look at your form properly.

“Nah.”

You stopped putting on your clothes for a bit to answer him nonchalantly.

“Oh—”

Chanyeol’s only response. He was taken aback by your sudden honesty. Usually, you will make up a little lie not to hurt his feelings.

Before you pull open Chanyeol’s bedroom door, looked back at him to inform about your new rule.

“Ah, by the way… Don’t contact me, okay? Wait for my call or text. It depends on my mood.”

You gave him a half-smile and his face fell when you told him what you just said.

“W–why? You hiding a boyfriend somewhere out there?”

Chanyeol joked a bit, to save face.

“Actually, yeah.”

You deadpanned and proceeded to leave, banging the door closed on your way out.

Aikie Masterlist | Michiko Masterlist | FIC RECS | FIC REC SIDEBLOG

[girlbookwrm]

i DO recommend these fics, but this ISN’T actually a rec list

a while ago i did a meta about Bucky Barnes and the Winter Soldier and Hydra and the headcanons I put in The Terror of Knowing, and I mentioned that I wanted to compile a long-ass list of fics that inspired The Hundred Year Playlist and ppl (hi @conlatio and @marveluc) asked about it SO HERE, AT LONG FUCKING LAST, IT IS.

Fanfiction, like every other art form that has ever existed in the history of ever, is all about synthesis: combining pre-existing elements to make something new. It’s the making something new thing that’s exciting. (If you’re not making something new with your found material, that’s called plaigiarism and it’s distinctly uncool.)

When I was in college and grad school, if we used material from other scholars to make a new idea, we made sure to include a bibliography. 

Now this is fic, so like. Everyone knows that we’re using found material. We put the fandom in the tags and everything. But there’s a lot of unseen inspiration, because it’s harder to tag all the fics and metas you read that gave you ideas and inspiration along the way.

I’m... making an attempt.

These are some, SOME of the fics that inspired the headcanons and characterizations and whatnot that then got incorporated into THYP. I’ve been reading MCU fic since 2014 (possibly earlier) and I didn’t even start thinking about THYP until 2017, so there’s probably a lot of stuff that went into my subconscious that I’ve forgotten about. I’m @ing the authors and sources when I know them, but if any of yall want me to like, un-@you (is that a thing??) or if any of you know of authors who have tumblrs that I DIDN’T @ but should have, pls let me knoooowwww

A (Probably Incomplete, but at least Attempted) Fanfic Bibliography for The Hundred Year Playlist

by Seriously I Don’t Have More Important Things To Do? Astonishing.

PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS IN THE FICS THEMSELVES. THYP may be rated T for Teen (and even that I debate about tbh, given all the swears and violence) but most of these fics are very emphatically not.  some of them will probably squick you out, some of them might be triggering, so take care of yourselves.

I’ve divided the list into sections by the story they inspired, but all of these stories inspired all the parts of THYP, this is a very very very rough categorization. Think of it as my fanfic n headcanon spice rack. some stories are going to have more or less of one spice or another.

Dreamers With Empty Hands

All the Angels and the Saints by @cesperanza

"You're a brutal person, you know that? You're always rummaging through my guts with your bare hands!" and then Bucky turned away, his long, muscled back curving as he sat on the edge of the bed, hunched and struggling for breath. Steve wanted to draw him, and he also wanted to blot the image from his memory: this picture of Bucky in despair.

Speranza’s Socialist Steve is deeply flawed in a way that people don’t usually write him and i love it so much??? He’s angry, and egotistical, and righteous in a way that’s hard on the people around him and I was like YESGOOD MORE PLS. It’s also a masterful example of how to write a story that’s ostensibly Steve-POV but still manages to make Bucky not only a main player, but a driving force. It’s about Steve, on the surface, sure. But it’s also about Bucky, because Steve is about Bucky and I just *clenches fist* love it.

cascades. 

This fic. THIS FIC. Hngh. Okay so this fic is good on so many levels, but for THYP, the takeaway was me very gently lifting the Bucky-Steve-Barnes Family dynamic and then adding more swears to get to my take on the Bucky-Steve-Barnes Family Dynamic. Namely: 

“Steve was a bit of a Barnes, too, wasn’t he,” she says.

“He was ours,” says Rebecca, shrugging. “We were his.”

i crie???

More Man Than You

“You’re very pretty,” she said, and Steve tensed up.

“I’m not a fairy.”

“No, you’re not, are you?”

this fic has a study guide. and that’s literally all I feel I need to say about it. It’s an exploration of queer culture and masculinity in the 30s and 40s, thinly veiled as stucky fanfiction. (It’s also pretty brutal so I’ll reiterate that you need to heed the goddamn warnings)

Also, lest yall think I came up with Billy Thompson in a vacuum, I didn’t. In this fic, there’s a violent mob runner called Duke, and Steve comes up with a plan to take him down, and Bucky makes sure that there’s a Different plan that Steve doesn’t know about.  It’s all executed a little differently in this fic, but the idea lodged in my brain and got reused in THYP, and kind of became a central theme.

Good Morning Heartache, What’s New?

The Night War by @praximeter

IF YOU HAVEN’T READ THIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. This is... honestly, just one of the finest pieces of fiction i just 

HNNNNGH

I don’t know that I can point to any specific part of this fic and say “this gave me that idea” it was more the... the feel of it. The way the Normandy invasion is written and the way the trauma is handled and the way Steve is just slightly to the left of being a real soldier and especially this:

He asked me with a smile on his face what goes through my mind when I line up my shot—God and country? Pearl Harbor? Uncle Sam? —and I stared at him struck dumb from the question so long that I think he thought I was just plain stupid. The fact is that it is none of those things—not even close. It is sick, numb fear and careful, barely breathing so that I don’t miss. I must never miss. And then when I shoot, an awful thought curls up from my trigger finger to my heart “how many mothers must be praying I will miss?”

The Thirteen Letters

oh you didn’t really think that Not Easily Conquered wasn’t going to be on this list, didja? OF COURSE IT’S ON THE LIST. But possibly not for the reason you might think. That fic is legen-fucking-dary of course, and the scene where Steve gets stabbed was obviously very inspirational for that bit in GMHWN where Steve gets shot in the thigh, but the scene that really got teeth into my brain and Would Not Let Go was the one where the Howlies meet the Winged Victory of Samothrace and 

Bucky knows the truth now. It is a deep and insurmountable truth. She has no face. Like the operative whose head he beat in, like the boy who he killed one month into active duty, even like Bucky himself, Nike is faceless. Bucky feels unprepared, or like he should have brought an offering.

Beside him Steve quakes before the oldest and the only god.

look my fixation with statues didn’t come from nowhere is what i’m saying ok

Sincerely, Your Pal

This fic haunts me because i hate the ending. not because it’s not good (It IS good) or because it’s not the right ending for the story (it IS the right ending for the story) but just because i  h a t e  i t. I just like happy endings is all, and resolutions, and this fic is why THYP will have a happy ending.

But also, I really liked the way this fic dealt with Bucky in Basic and lines like this really caught in my brain:

And of course I want to kill some Nazis I guess but not because they’re people. Not because I actually want people to die because I don’t.

And that sentiment definitely fed into how I write Bucky especially.

The Terror of Knowing

there must have been a moment by @redstarwhitestar (magdaliny’s marvel sideblog)

Listen, I’ve been trying to make sure that there’s a good spread of writers on this list but magdaliny is the exception. Magdaliny is the exception for a lot of things and there must have been a moment when we could have said no is always the first fic I think of when I think of a fic about Bucky’s time as the Soldier. Which is ironic, because it’s very much about his time after that, but that first chapter made uhhhhhhhhhhh an impression.

The fractured nature of the narrative, the way that the reader can piece together a coherent timeline but the main character can’t... that was very influential on TTOK. example:

“Kill him,” the officer says.

The subject says: “Why?”

☙

“Kill him,” the officer says.

The subject makes a mess.

☙

“Kill him cleanly,” the officer says. “Good! Good lad.”

I’ll build a house inside of you

Another magdaliny G I F T, an AU where Nat is much younger and Bucky is her dad, and if you think that didn’t affect the way I write Bucky and Nat’s relationship in THYP, then you are dreaming. 

Past the praises of the handlers, above the hot wet smell of cordite and blood, Natalia can hear crashing and shouting down the hall.

“—goddamn animals, they're little girls, they're just kids, you fucking—”

Her father screams in English, in Mandarin, in Russian, and then he just screams.

I know that’s a super sad excerpt but listen and hear me when I say this fic is actually really good and wholesome and it’s got A+++ OCs and All The Widows and it’s just really good ok

Memory

Bucky is hard AF to write and very few people write him half so well as magdaliny but one of those people is emilyenrose and this fic is M A S T E R F U L. Bittersweet and achingly perfect. It contains this beautiful moment that really stuck with me, where Steve is comparing the post WS “James” to the Pre War “Bucky” and realizes... 

He truly hadn't known James all that well. James hadn't let him. Hadn't wanted him to. Hadn't wanted anyone near him, ever—

—the way Bucky went, when he was miserable, when he was angry...

and that, to me, was kind of key when I went on to write the Soldier, because the Soldier IS Bucky, even when he isn’t.

Fool For Sacrifice

Dona Nobis Pacem

THIS GODDAMN FIC came to me outta FUCKING NOWHERE, I’d already written the first draft for FFS, I’d already started posting it, for crying out loud. And then all of a sudden I stumble upon THIS and i just

It’s already fading, just hours after the skirmish.  And the wounds Sam stitched will heal without a mark.  And the welts on Steve’s chest will disappear.  Like all of it never happened. 

Fuck the serum. He keeps thinking it, saying it.  Maybe if there were some goddamn scars, it’d be easier to process the damage.

This fic is heavy af, it’s like the 65k word version of That Chapter in FFS Where Steve Hits Rock Bottom. This was the fic I read when I was ramping myself up to tackle That Moment

three white horses

This is the other fic I read to ramp up for That Scene, and I think that probably shows in the way I wrote it. It is also is a Strong Contender for the title of Heavyweight Fic That Convinced Me Buck Is Jewish. Honestly I cannot praise this fic enough.

I think the thing that stuck hardest about the Steve in three white horses is the way he feels ghostly himself, like he’s only drifting through the present, and somehow most of his living happens in the past. It’s very beautifully done, and very subtly done, and it’s my go to fic if I am in Dire Need of a Good Clean Crie.

It’s getting an extra long excerpt because This Is My List And Neither God Nor Man Can Stop Me.

Steve's fingers touch metal when he reaches into the second-to-last box, and he feels the blood drain out of his face even before he's looked down. He knows the feel of it too well. He'd know it blind, a hundred years from now. It's Bucky's not-a-medal.

It'd been Bucky's grandfather's, or maybe his great-grandfather's, made of the kind of sterling silver that tarnishes if you look at it funny, so Bucky had always been polishing it; he'd traded cigarettes to the mess staff for baking soda and vinegar, during the war, but the thing was still soot-black half the time, like it is now. It'd been a fool's errand, wearing a thing like that in Axis territory, but Bucky'd worn it on his chain like the rest of the guys wore their Christophers and Michaels, and HYDRA'd ignored it. It was a subtle thing, though: nothing like wearing a Magen David, or the implacable H on Bucky's tags, just a thin slice of metal with a stylized branch and an oblique squiggle Steve only knows is the Hebrew word for life because Bucky told him so.

Bucky'd had a curious mix of reverence and irreverence about it, the same mixture that seemed to colour the whole of his religious life. He'd teased Steve sometimes, saying, “No, wait, you gotta kiss it before you enter the building, you schmuck, what are you, some kinda heathen?” with his legs around Steve's waist. Bucky hadn't complained when Steve had carried on with an inch of silver between his teeth, but Steve had offhandedly called it Bucky's good luck charm once, and Bucky'd blown up; it's not a superstition, he said, it's not a fucking amulet. He'd apologized later, and he'd explained, and said it was a touchy subject, just ingrained. Jews weren't supposed to believe in luck. Bucky'd thought maybe it was the opposite: maybe luck didn't believe in Jews.

Sparked Up Like a Book of Matches

AH YES, THE FIC THAT TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIL AUDREY JOKES. SIPPY CUPS OF SUPERBOOZE! A ROBOT CALLED SHITCAN!! WHAT MORE COULD YOU NEED IN A FIC??? I really like the way it addresses Steve being in the future is all

This one could probably also fall into the list of fics that inspired DWEH, in part because of This, which stuck with me Hard and heavily influenced the opening:

“...You ever have scarlet fever?"

Sam shakes his head.

"It starts in your throat, like an itch, and as your fever starts to climb, your tongue swells up and turns white and that's when they know, really, even before the rash, that it's scarlet fever. You can't swallow, it hurts so much. You're freezing and your joints ache and your fever keeps spiking and you start to hallucinate. I, uh, I thought things were crawling on me and there were voices that I didn't recognize whispering things that didn't make any sense. My mom had to fight me just to get me to drink broth, but I threw it up most of the time, anyway. Then I got pneumonia from being so worn down from the scarlet fever and I was so lucky, Sam. Nobody seems to understand how I lucky I was to make it through. Talking to people today, to make them understand I'd have to tell them I survived bird flu only to fall sick with Ebola."

listen. For reasons I can’t fully explain, I really wanted to read that happening so i wrote it, and this is what being a writer is All About.

Actually, on a second thought, I might be able to explain it: it’s because an experience like that is Capital F Formative, and I really wanted to explore how there’s a tiny sick kid rattling around inside Captain Beefcake’s souped up bod.

(And an additional shoutout to Steve Rogers’ American Captain, a webcomic that now exists only in the Wayback Machine, but which was L O V E L Y and I sincerely hope that the artist knows that)

No Hope for the Weary

Strays

This fic? is so fluffy?? Like literally so fluffy. But this fic (and, obviously, Infinite Coffee) were very much behind the inclusion of the God Damn Starbucks, and also the source of a lot of my headcanons about Barnes & Rogers: Secret Millennials. For Example: Bucky’s Notes on How To Be A Millennial:

- Lots of coffee. Travel mugs or paper cups from Starbucks place. Often looks guilty for drinking, obv derive pleasure from doing so. Unknown as to why. Investigate further? Why is there one every two blocks if no one wants it there? 

Infinite Coffee and Protection Detail

This is another fandom classic that needs very little introduction. A+ characterization, A+ OCs, Utterly Charming from start to finish, and the originator of a very distinct way of talking that got very strongly coded in my brain as Winter Soldier Bucky.

He passes within 4 m of Barnes on his way back to his building. The mission imperative achieves a Doppler effect.

contactContactCONTACTContactcontact

Aw.

If They Haven’t Learned Your Name by @silentwalrus1

If I had to point to one (1) fic and say “Blame This Fic for THYP” it would be this one: the Fic that my roommate and The Gal Pal know as “The One With the USS Motherfucker.” This might seem like an odd statement, because if you’ve read them both, I don’t think you’d necessarily put them in the same class. silentwalrus is a genius of hilarity and THYP is a big pile of The Sads. ITHLYN is delightfully unassuming and I’m sometimes embarrassed by how pretentious THYP ended up being. 

I would technically put this under the list of fics that heavily influenced NHFTW on account of the way it portrays Bucky going by gradual degrees from murderbot to mostly human person, but listen I could never write Cryptid!Bucky the way Silentwalrus has. It’s magnificent. And TBH the level of Intensity in ITHLYN’s Steve has is something I aspire to, and the Sam Characterization is On Point, and both those things influenced FFS, 112%. Nat’s Chaotic Slav Energy in this fic is OFF THE GODDAMN CHARTS and I LOVE IT. Every single side character, down to the spaceship is given the kind of care, attention, and characterization that just... it cannot be beat, my dudes.

16/10 highest recommendation. I could not possibly pick a single paragraph from this behemoth but uhhhhh

Two minutes in there’s a grunt and a slippery, gritty noise somewhere to her left, and then the Soldier barrels past at breakneck speed, vanishing down another tunnel. A second later Steve careens around the corner, bounces off the opposite wall and crashes away after him, so fast he’s nearly a blur. Natasha’s brain, entirely of its own accord, provides her with the utterly unhelpful accompaniment of a Yakety Sax soundtrack.

that’s it. that’s the fic.

Also, this fic is Stoutly To Blame for the playlist aspect of the hundred year playlist? Silentwalrus really got me good with Grounds for Divorce by Elbow, one of my all time favorite songs, which was then paired with one of my all time favorite chapters. By the time Caravan Palace’s Lone Digger made an appearance, I was sunk. This fic introduced me to Lyube, and gave me a new appreciation(?) for dubstep. So many of the songs ITHLYN used ended up in my Very Long Stucky Playlist, though I think the only one that then went on to become part of the Hundred Year Playlist: Upside Down and Inside Out by OK GO.

And Finally, the Coup De What The Fuck Ever:

Ain’t No Grave by @spitandvinegar

yet another fandom classic... I wasn’t sure where to put this fic, but I couldn’t NOT include it in the list. Spitandvinegar’s Steve is charming and so? Sweet? and the ANG Bucky is a delightful foulmouthed mess of a person, and the Sam/Claire pairing is something I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED, BUT I VERY MUCH NEEDED IT and I don’t know that I can point to a single thing and be like: Ah Yes, This Bit, but this is definitely one of my faves:

Imagine you live in this country, right? And there's a brutal war, and you witness and maybe participate in a horrific amount of violence, and you lose absolutely everyone you care about. Then you end up in this other country, where the culture and ways of doing things are completely foreign to you, and random assholes make fun of you for how you dress and act and talk while you're still coming to grips with the fact that everyone you love is gone and you can never go home again. Meanwhile, everyone around you is like "smile, motherfucker, you're in the Land of Plenty now, where there's a Starbucks on every corner and 500 channels on TV. You should be grateful! Why aren't you acting more grateful?" So you have to pretend to be grateful while you're dying inside. Sound like an traumatized, orphaned refugee? Also sounds like Steve fucking Rogers, Captain Goddamn America. Except that most refugees were part of a community of other people who were going through the same thing. Steve is all alone, the last damn unicorn, if the last unicorn had horrible screaming nightmares about the time when it helped to liberate Buchenwald.

Usually this explanation yields a "huh." People don't want Sad Refugee Steve: they want Captain America, Indestructible Defender of Freedom. But that doesn't mean that Sam isn't right, because he is right, goddamnit. So yeah, Sam's a little protective of Steve. And if the last unicorn finds out that its best damn unicorn friend in the whole world is actually alive, then damn straight, Sam's heading out with a tranq gun and bringing that damn unicorn in and starting a goddamn unicorn wildlife refuge in his backyard. Or something like that: at a certain point the metaphor kind of gets away from him.

Til The End of the Timeline

I’ve recced this so many times you’ve probably all gotten sick of hearing about it, but it’s an invaluable goddamn resource and you should all check it out. 

A Shit Ton of Metas and Blogs, some of which are tagged with THYP Research but especially @steve-rogers-new-york and @hansbekhart‘s How To Brooklyn and @historicallyaccuratesteve

and last but certainly not least

LITERALLY EVERYTHING @quietnighty READS HOLY SHIT

If you’re looking for a common thread through all the above recs, it’s that almost all of them have podfics, and the vast majority of those podfics are by Quietnight. I am, and always have been, an audio learner. I read my writing aloud when I’m editing, I listen to audiobooks when I’m commuting, and when I’m cleaning, and when I’m playing computer games, because I like stories, and I especially like listening to stories. Quietnight’s podfics are Of The Highest Quality, and her taste in fic is Impeccable.

hooooly shit this post is long wow okay. I can’t promise I won’t add more to this later, but I’m leaving it for now because goddamn. it’s as complete as I can make it at this time. I’ve added a “THYP Fanfic Bibliography” tag in my bookmarks, and incidentally I really need to make sure I’ve gone through and kudosed all of these because goddamn.

[desperatelyseekingcannibals]

Mothballing Desperatelyseekingcannibals

I have spent some time thinking this over and gone back and forth quite a bit for different reasons. But I will be logging off as of the 17th December.

Although I know some of the blogs I follow will still be active, and many will find creative ways around the adult content ban, I know that my experience here won’t be the same. For me it goes beyond fandom and also to the LGBTQ+ blogs I follow, some of which have already been purged or have been clear they are migrating from Tumblr because they can no longer operate here.

In the end I’ve made this decision because of the one thing I kept coming back to that troubled me the most. Even if the fandom manages to carry on as normal here, even if it is business as usual for the queer blogs that do stay, I will never be over that this happened. I will never be over the damage this will do to the queer communities on here. I will never be over the misogynistic and anti-LGBTQ+ intent in what Tumblr is doing. 

There is no way in good conscience I can personally support tumblr further. I am not welcome here so I will not stay.

I considered deleting my blog, but as I have sideblogs that aren’t just my concern, this would be unfair on those staying. I will also need to log back in now and then (hopefully not too often) to continue modding the @hannigram-a-b-o-library until a solution for potentially migrating it is resolved as there hasn’t been enough notice to do this (see this post for more on that). Part of me is hopeful that I will log in a month or so from now and find that Tumblr came to their senses and everything is fine, but I doubt it. 

I’m running my queue down to finish posting on the 16th and I’m also going to reblog a load of fic recs I have in my drafts. I normally keep them there and don’t reblog until I’ve read them, but now I’m bookmarking them elsewhere and will clear out my drafts - expect many fic reblogs to follow - please give your love and support to each of them. 

Thank you all for the support you’ve given me in my time here. I have over 2500 followers and each of you has made my experience here wonderful. Shame Tumblr had to ruin the party, but I guess it’s their house so I’ll show myself the door. 

If you want to find me elsewhere here are the options - 

TigerPrawn on AO3 

TigerPrawnDSC on Twitter

TigerPrawn on Pillowfort

TigerPrawn on Patreon

I am going to try and be more active on twitter, and I believe Patreon has a “follow” button that allows you to see open posts without paying a fee, so I will put a few fic/WIP updates on there now and then. I’m really liking Pillowfort so far and will be active, so if you’re on there do find me! I want to stay in touch with as many as possible!

Thank you all for your friendship