#pretend to take seriously because they have to

[verysadlesbian]

Now that I have sat with my thoughts for a couple of days, I want to talk about some things:

There are too many people trying to defend Caitlyn's actions, so I have to say: NOTHING, and I mean absolutely nothing, justifies fascism. "Oh but she's grieving and blahblahblah" you know who else was grieving?! The mother of the kid Jayce killed in season 1. You know who else?! Vi and Powder that saw enforcers murder their parents, just like many other children from Zaun. Caitlyn destroyed her mother's legacy in the police brutality™️ operation, you understand how fucked up this is? Her mother's recording is saying "the people from Zaun deserve to breathe," and she did it anyways. If you sympathise with Piltover, you're either part of the problem or naïve enough to fall for fascist propaganda.

Ekko is the only real one. Not a single slightly evil bone in his body. Everything he does, he does for his people, not in a persuit of power, or revenge. He's genuinely good, so much so that he's willing to hang out with not only Heimerdinger, but also Jayce just so he could protect his community. He deserves so much better and I'll be heartbroken when he finds out that Vi was involved in Caitlyn's operation.

I don't know how Vi can forgive Caitlyn after what happened. I know I wouldn't. It just goes to show that you cannot trust that privileged people are going to be different just cause they were nice to you. Viktor found that out in season 1 and Vi is finding this out now.

Do you guys think the black rose is gonna pretend to be Mel?! I don't play LOL, but it is to my understanding that the black rose can make clones, so it'd be obvious that they're gonna take Mel's identity

Saw some people on twitter and tiktok (of course they were there) denying that jayvik has heavy romantic undertones by stating "they're friends! They're like brothers! Why everything has to be gay now?" and EVERYTHING HAS TO BE GAY CAUSE I SAID SO, NOW SHUT UP! But seriously though, I understand that to cishet viewers, their relationship might seem strictly platonic, 'cause they lack the eye that we, queer people, have for these things. And that's okay. Not everyone needs to understand the nuances of a homoerotic friendship. But in the same breath, they're quick to say that "Viktor was thinking about Sky, so obviously he's straight" and that pissed me off, cause: 1 - have you looked at him?; 2 - He feels responsible for her death (cause he was)! He's thinking about her because he feels GUILTY! that man was not interested in Sky whatsoever; 3 - it's so heteronormative to think that a man and a woman can't be friends, they're so adamant in denying jayvik cause "they're friends!" but they do the same fucking thing!; and finally 4 - HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM???

Anyone that sides with Piltover would probably be a zionist as well. I don't have to explain this.

The trio "Sevika, Jinx and Isha" is probably my favourite thing in Act 1, I just can't get enough of them.

[caught-tumbling]

I've been hospitalized and I've worked in mental health so I have some suggestions

1) You will see things that you don't understand. That's ok. As long as the behavior isn't harmful its fine. Unusual sentence structure, unusual requests, unusual movements, unusual associations, etc are just how some people function. So if you don't understand why someone is doing something try to just take it in stride, try not to laugh, stare, or look disgusted. When I was hospitalized a patient had a compulsion (I think) to shout their full name whenever someone said their first name, then they always looked embarrassed. So the best staff members just pretended it didn't happen which didn't stop the behavior but at least the patient was more at ease because they weren't being shamed.

2) People in psych wards often have a very dark sense of humor. Gallows humor gets us through. People will casually throw out the most upsetting and traumatic anecdotes as "funny" stories. You don't have to laugh along, just don't be too surprised. One benefit to being in a psych ward is a level of understanding most people don't have outside. People can drop a joke about the most horrifying shit they've survived and no one freaks out, they just laugh and share something equally messed up. That dark comradery was a weirdly healing part of my recovery. Sometimes as a staff member you'll have to intervene if people start looking uncomfortable but in general you just gotta shrug and move on.

3) Compassion, compassion, compassion. The difference between a good stay and a bad stay is compassion. Treat every patient as if they were a loved one. My worst stay the staff treated us like dangerous cattle. They didn't speak to us except to give orders, they ignored people in pain and distress, they refused every request just because they could. My best stay the staff ate with us, they played card games with us, they offered a hand to hold when someone was scared, they treated us like human beings. Just sitting with someone for a while can be huge.

4) Please report things. PLEASE REPORT THINGS. If a patient is harassing another patient, report it. If a patient is harassing an employee, report it. If a coworker is being cruel or neglectful towards patients, report it. If your reports do nothing then escalate it. I've reported patients, nurses, doctors, teams, even organizations both as a patient and as a professional. I've called the police. I've gotten people fired. You will need to do that sometimes. It sucks and is a little nerve wracking but you need to advocate for people's safety. The reports I made as a professional were taken way more seriously than the reports I made as a patient. The system is set up to dismiss patients so employees need to be more proactive. Please be an advocate. Some of the people you'll work with don't have any support outside the hospital, those are the most vulnerable people you'll probably ever meet and you won't always know who's in that group.

5) Talk to the patients. Avoid phrases like "I understand what you're going through" and use phrases like "I know this is hard" or "I'm here to help." If someone is having a hallucination or delusion that's upsetting sometimes it's better to work with the delusion than to deny it completely. If someone is worried there's bugs in their food just saying "no, that's ridiculous" won't help. But saying "I'll check to make sure there's no bugs" can help immensely. Some people will be scared of you due to anxiety, medical trauma, other trauma, or paranoia. You can't always change their mind. But you can show signs that you are a safe person. Little stuff like getting them an extra blanket, asking how they're doing, including them in their treatment plans, etc are vital but overlooked.

Help Me Train Nurses About Psych Stuff

I do a presentation at our hospital aimed demystifying mental illness and the people who live with it. The talk is for medical-surgical nurses, so specifically staff that does NOT work psych who feel ignorant about treating that population. A lot of the people I'm talking to are also young and still developing the foundation of their nursing practice.

If you've ever been in the hospital as a psych patient (or a psych patient navigating the medical system in general), what would you want the hospital staff to know based on your experiences? What advice or insight would you give?

I'd especially love anything about positive experiences, things that helped you, what someone did that improved the situation, stuff like that. In addition to saying what not to do, I'd love to give staff actionable things they CAN do instead.

[sgiandubh]

Imagine

Imagine you are offered an exciting, well-paid job with an up and coming spirits business, whose owner you happened to sympathize with at a work event. Imagine you really invest yourself in that job and you are so enthusiastic about it, that you even put your own business network to service. Imagine you start seeing the first results of your efforts.

Then imagine that the owner you happened to sympathize with (and who probably recruited you) has a teeny-tiny problem, the amplitude of which was absolutely impossible for you to grasp. He is also an actor and, as many actors who are actively involved in successful cinema/TV productions, he has a fandom. Some things may have been mentioned to you, such as the abusive behavior of 'some' fans - but you really had no idea and you were way too excited to make this new job opportunity work for you. You definitely didn't take any warnings too seriously: you know that series has some sort of cult-ish status and that actor is many ageing women's secret fantasy, all around the world. You probably even think it's definitely corny, but overall these ladies seem harmless enough - plus they seem to show up in droves and buy in bulk, everywhere he goes. You are way too focused on your job to notice any misconduct: you dismiss it with a laugh.

And then, someone, somewhere decides it is your turn. You have excitedly posted a snapshot of a rugby match you have been invited to by the owner of the up and coming spirits company, who happens to have an excellent relationship with the local, prestigious club and is a rugby fan himself. You are over the moon to be a part of an event that allows you to better discern the new type of customers the business hopes to attract, in the foreseeable future. You enjoy the wonderful camaraderie in the galleries: you had no idea about what rugby means to so many different people, wow!

You are, therefore, very surprised to find out some women already started to claim on the Internet you and your boss are an item. This is completely nuts: courtship seldom involves attending a rugby match, in Europe - that much you know. You begin to receive nasty, insinuating DMs on your Instagram page. You perhaps remember one of your boss's friends, a young disabled artist, has very recently been harassed by his fans and had to call the police, in order to make it stop. You decide the best thing you could do is to erase the rugby match pic: too late, it has already been screen capped, shared and discussed. This is how you also find out that some of those women think you have an agenda, that you plan to seduce your boss and that you are, at any rate, a lousy wannabe in the business world and a highly functioning alcoholic, to boot. The ones claiming so are either pretending to be experts or to have SOURCES, based on FACTS. This is beyond your understanding. You may even have a mild panic attack and you definitely feel all of this is: a) ridiculous; b) unfair and c) potentially dangerous.

Most of the women who called you out have no idea about what happens at a rugby match. They are that kind of older people who still think geishas are prostitutes, for example, because they lack proper education. They have no direct experience of the business world, let alone the spirits business world. No real facts and no logical arguments are ever presented to seriously discuss your efforts, but many smearing accusations are being written down, with full confidence. All they know is that they don't like you, because you somehow failed to comply with their own, twisted version of reality. In their books, your boss is either a closeted gay man or a lewd womanizer, with a dirty penchant for whores. This would normally make you grin, but today you're just not in that mood.

Today's your turn.

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Chapter Thirty

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: If you haven't yet, please read DREAMSTATE before you read this chapter. It's imperative that you do otherwise you will be confused. There is also ONE chapter left after this one. I cannot believe we're almost to the end, folks. It's a very bittersweet feeling.

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

NOAH

“Maybe I'll invite them over once I'm back home from the art store. I figured it'll be alright since you have therapy and we’re not going to dinner until four,” she sat up while letting the sheet fall to her lap. 

I was still in a state of shock that I couldn’t even gaze at her perfect breasts, my mind whirling with so many different emotions. All I could do was numbly nod. 

“I must say,” she smirked while brushing away the hair from my face, laying a kiss on my lips. “It’s always great to wake up to you every morning. But on my birthday, it’s extra special.”

Blinking wildly, I shook out the spiderwebs from waking up from my dreamstate and gave her a tender smile while bringing her into my chest. 

“Happy birthday, angel,” I kissed her head. 

Her arms snaked around my back, resting her cheek against my chest. “Thank you, Noah. Oh, you’re sweaty.” 

Her giggles echoed throughout the room as she glanced up at me. “Your heart is also beating so fast. Are you alright?” 

“I just had a nightmare. That’s all,” I assured her. 

The door creaked open causing both of us to look over and see Kuma pushing his way inside, sitting at the bed. He’d grown in size the last week and was beginning to take up a lot of space. 

Not that any of us complained. We loved him. 

“He’s giving me the creepy I need to go out look,” Y/N giggled while getting ready to get out of bed. 

Pushing her back onto the bed and throwing the covers over her, I slipped out while standing to my feet. 

“It’s your birthday. You deserve to sleep in and treat yourself,” I said. 

Pulling out my wallet from the drawer of my nightstand, I tossed my credit card onto her lap. Almost immediately Y/N began to fight my decision but I shook my head. 

“I want to take care of you, Y/N. Especially today. Please?” I begged while jutting out my bottom lip. 

Eventually she nodded and rose to her knees to wrap her arms around my neck. Her gorgeous naked form on display made my cock twitch. If it wasn’t for Kuma staring at us, I’d drag her into the shower for a quick morning birthday sex. 

“How did I get so lucky?” She mused. 

“I think it was me that got lucky, angel,” I said with all the seriousness I could muster. 

Our lips were so close, I could feel her warm breath fan over mine, but as I was about to close the distance Kuma’s deep bark caused both of us to jump. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you out,” I sighed. 

With a swift pass to Y/N’s bare ass, she shrieked before running towards the bathroom. With a nod towards the patio door in our room, I led Kuma outside to where he immediately ran over to his typical bathroom spot in the far corner of the yard. Since it was fenced, we didn’t have to worry about him running off. 

As I rubbed a finger over the side of my hand, tracing the letters, I felt a fond smile pull at my lips when I remembered my guide not only in my dreamstate but in my life as well. Every big moment, good or bad, Keaton had been there with me guiding me along. 

“Miss you, man,” I blew out a shaky breath when I remembered how it felt seeing his face again. 

Feeling a soft brush of fur between my legs, I peered down at Salem who purred lovingly. Bringing him up to my chest, I let him rub his face in my neck to which I noticed a few strands of gray fur in his face. The once bright red color I bought him began to dull so I made note to buy him another one today but the tag with the Death of Peace of Mind symbols was still fresh like the first day I put them on his collar. 

“I’m surprised you’re not curled up in bed with Michael,” I spoke to my cat son. 

“Because he woke me up at five this morning screaming to be fed.” 

Snapping my gaze to my right, I saw Michael lounging in the hammock while Jesse and Tay sat together on the outdoor couch, both holding to-go cups from Fika. 

“Well, did you feed him?” I raised a brow at Michael before dropping Salem onto his chest and sitting in one of the chairs around the fire pit; embers still smoking from the fire last night. 

“No, I let him starve,” Michael’s voice was thick with sarcasm as he let Salem snuggle up to him. 

“Where’s the birthday girl?” Tay asked with a smile. 

I motioned towards our bedroom. “Getting ready. I think she might head out to the art store. She’s been wanting to get a new easel since her other one broke when we rearranged her studio a few months ago.”

As we chatted for a bit, Y/N emerged from the patio door leading to our bedroom dressed in a bright yellow sundress, the warm California sun paling in comparison. 

“Mochi,” her voice sang as she walked over to us and held her hands together underneath her chin. 

“Mochi?” Tay asked Jesse quietly. 

He kissed the side of her head. “It’s a long story.” 

Dragging my fingers up and down her bare thigh as she stood next to the chair I’d been sitting on, I gave her my full attention. 

“Yea?” 

“Could I borrow your SUV? There’s more space than my small car,” she even said the word please with her eyes.  

“Of course. You know you don’t have to ask,” I said while patting her thigh, her slowly dropping into my lap. 

She thanked me with a kiss right before the rest of them wished her a happy birthday, something she couldn't hide her excitement because the love behind her smile was evident. 

While Y/N sat in my lap, I glanced over to Tay who gave me a nod before clearing her throat while sitting up straight. 

“Do you mind if I tag along? I know it’s your birthday but I’ve been dying to check out that antique place next door to the art shop.” 

Immediately Y/N nodded while shooting up from my lap. “Yes please! I did not want to go alone.” 

I fawned a frown, pretending to be hurt that I couldn’t go with her. 

“I’m sorry, angel. I could try to reschedule my therapy appointment but we know how busy Dr. Poulos is.” 

She bent down and kissed me. “It’s alright, Noah. I need a little girl time today.” 

Knew she would take the bait.

After saying goodbye to them and making sure they were out of ear shot, I locked eyes with Jesse. 

“Still good with the plan?” 

He immediately nodded. “Everything is set up. Faye and Bryan will be here with their cameras.” 

Michael spoke next. “Everyone knows where to be here and when.” 

I nodded while rising to my feet and ran a hand through my unruly hair. “Good. I’ve got a few things to pick up in town.” 

“Mind if we tag along?” Jesse’s words mimicked Tay’s from earlier. “We’re bored just sitting here.” 

“Says you!” Michael said while rolling out of the hammock. “I’m fine hanging out at home doing absolutely nothing.” 

Leading us inside with Kuma and Salem nearly knocking me over as they barreled past us, Jesse and Michael continued to bicker about something I stopped paying attention to; mind on something else. 

“Michael, are you fine driving?” I asked while stopping in the hallway that led to my bedroom. “I need to make a few phone calls.” 

“Yeah. Twenty minutes?” 

All three of us nodded before dispersing in the house towards our respective bedrooms. The scent of Y/N still lingered in the air as I reached for my phone perched on my nightstand and as I went to pull up my texts, I noticed a voicemail notification without a missed call. 

“Hm, weird,” I muttered as I clicked open the text thread between Y/N and I. 

Me: Remember to treat yourself today, angel. You deserve whatever you want. 

Almost immediately she texted back. 

Angel 🪽: All I want is you, Noah. 

My heart soared in my chest at her words, truly thankful that everything bad in our life the last few weeks had been a dream. 

More like a nightmare. 

Me: You already have all of me. 

Just before I pocketed my phone, a new text popped up. 

Joakim Karlsson: Any chance we could meet up soon? I need to talk to you about something before tonight. 

Furrowing my brows, I typed up my response. 

Me: Sure. I’m about to head to the jewelry store on 11th street. We can meet there in about thirty minutes?

When he replied with a thumbs up emoji, I tossed my phone onto my bed and stalked into the bathroom to get ready, excitement for the day causing me to wear a wide smile. 

READER

“I am so tired,” I sighed while carrying the stacks of bags up the steps towards the house. 

Tay giggled behind me as she carried the two new canvas’ I bought. “I can’t believe we spent two hours in the antique shop!” 

Resting my hip against the front door, I adjusted the bags so I could wrap my hand around the door knob. “They had so many cute little skull trinkets! I hope Noah is fine with me littering his desk with some of them.” 

I turned to face Tay as I pushed my way inside the house and didn’t notice it was not only quiet but dark as well until a boisterous round of voices caused me to nearly drop my bags. 

“SURPRISE!” 

“MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled while clutching my chest, gazing around the filled living room. 

Tears filled my eyes when I noticed every single one of my friends filling the house because of my birthday. They all were here for me. 

Noah stood out amongst all of them dressed in a crisp white shirt that accentuated his tattoos and black dress pants. However, since he didn’t allow shoes in the house, he was wearing a pair of bright red socks. 

He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand while the other hand was stuffed deep into his pocket. His hair had grown a bit since he skipped his last few haircuts so it was reaching his ears, even combing back like how it currently was. The chain around his neck rested softly against the white shirt. His cologne lingered in the air and the light from the lamp in the corner of the living room casted him in a bright glow; his own aura. 

Noah called me his angel but right now standing in front of me, he was my own angel. 

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” 

Tay came up behind me and took the bags from my hand so I could step into Noah’s warm embrace, the smell of the flowers engulfing my senses. 

Violets. 

Almost immediately I was brought back to when he surprised me with an array of flowers from his belated valentines day surprise. 

“The violets, also known as the Sumire, represent life and sincerity. Its small size and delicate nature represent deep affection for someone. These flowers are very important in Japan.”

“Noah,” I choked while taking the flowers from him. “Did you do all of this?” 

The entire house was covered in balloons, streamers, and a huge banner that took up the entire wall behind the television in the living room saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N. WE ALL LOVE YOU. 

Salem and Kuma were sitting on the long evergreen couch, both wearing bright red bowties. It looked like Kuma even was groomed, his fur fresh and clean. 

“Did you give Kuma a bath?” I chuckled while swaying in Noah’s arms. 

He snorted. “Fuck no. I gladly paid the groomer $140 to take care of it. Remember the last time we tried to do that ourselves?” 

I cringed remembering exactly what happened. Kuma jumped out of the bathtub mid shampoo scrub and ran all throughout the house, leaving a wet trail in his wake. It would have been fine if he didn’t jump into Michael’s bed to roll around in it while he slept. 

Needless to say I bought Michael a new bedspread. 

“You bought Salem a new collar?” I asked. 

“His old one was faded. But I realized I should have got one for Kuma so they could match,” Noah said.

I peered around the house, taking in sight of all of my friends. Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch, both of them grinning from ear to ear; something that told me they had a surprise for me. I only knew this because Malcolm’s left eye would always twitch when he was desperate to tell me something. 

Which is what was happening right now. 

Davis, Steven, Michael, and Folio were all in the kitchen setting up the spread of food that seemed to have been just delivered before I walked in the door. 

Astrid and Jolly were sitting at the kitchen table, both having a hushed conversation amongst themselves. I raised a brow at the action of Jolly resting a hand on the side of her stomach, her giggling at something he said. 

Tay, who had set all of my belongings I bought earlier in my studio, emerged back into the living room just in time for Jesse to jump up from behind the couch to scare her. She yelped in surprise before smacking his chest repeatedly. 

“I fucking hate when you do that!” There wasn’t an ounce of venom in her voice as her laughter echoed when he picked her up to twirl her around. 

Matt had Faye wrapped into his chest as they sat on the other end of the couch, him staring at her with love in his eyes while he played with her necklace. 

But it was Nicholas who sat at the table next to Jolly and Astrid that caught my attention more than the others. 

“Birthday tattoos?!” I squealed while leading Noah over to the table. 

“It’s become our tradition, angel,” Noah chuckled while handing the flowers to Astrid, who gladly set them in a vase with water. 

Nicholas rose from the chair after pausing setting up his tattoo equipment and gave me a hug. 

“Happy birthday, Y/N.” 

I pressed my cheek to his chest, feeling so thankful for his friendship over the years. I wasn’t sure where I’d be if it wasn't for his words of wisdom in some of the darkest moments of my life. 

“Thank you, Nicholas.” I smiled while pulling away from him. 

“What are you going to get?” Faye asked from her position on the couch, wrapped underneath Matt’s arm. 

I made a mock tapping on my chin, pretending that I was thinking about it. “A duck.”

Noah choked on his drink, nearly spewing it all over his shirt, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Why a duck?” He wondered, wiping his chin. 

"Well,” I began while sitting on one of the chairs and extending my right arm towards Nicholas so he could prep the area. “According to your fanbase, they see you as a duck so I guess that’s why I’m going to get it."

The stare Noah and I shared was strong and vibrant, the aura of our connected souls radiating light in the empty air around all of us. Most of everyone here had been here since the beginning of our relationship, so we knew how much this moment meant to them. 

Noah stood behind the chair I sat on and placed a kiss on top of my head. “Well, I guess I’m getting a crow tattooed then.”

Looking back at Nicholas, I bit my lip. “Would it be too much to ask for two tattoos?” 

“It’s your birthday, Y/N. Whatever you want,” he said. 

“What else were you thinking of getting?” Jolly asked. 

With a sad sigh, I spoke quietly yet loud enough for everyone to hear. “It can’t rain all the time.” 

Noah didn’t speak, simply squeezed my shoulder for a long moment, before sitting down next to me. 

“Still have your dads letter?” Nicholas asked while finishing setting up his equipment. 

I raised a brow. “Of course I do. Why?” 

“If you want, I can copy your dad’s handwriting for the tattoo. Might take me a bit if you don’t mind waiting,” he said. 

Choking on a sob, I nodded eagerly. “Please.” 

“I’ll go grab it,” Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head before rising from the table. 

For the next long while, everyone conversed and laughed, all of us reminiscing of old times together as Nicholas tattooed me and then Noah. I did have to chuckle because since Noah didn’t have much free skin, he had his crow tattooed on the back of his calf. Meaning we had to super sanitize our kitchen table for Noah to lay on it. 

“I can’t believe Mr. Clean Freak, who sends overly aggressive texts in the group chat about a dirty crock pot, is getting tattooed on a surface we eat on!” Michael shook his head in disbelief.

Noah shot him a glare over his shoulder. “Shut up.” 

I giggled while eating a plate of food, my two new tattoos wrapped up. The duck was a simple cartoon design with the infamous duck lips. Nicholas even added hair to it so it looked like Noah. It was on the inside of my forearm. The It Can’t Rain All The Time tattoo was done on my ribs which required me to change into something more comfortable so I wasn't lying on the couch with my dress hiked up to my breasts giving everyone a show. 

Noah made sure to follow me into our bedroom to give me my first birthday present. 

“Fuck,” I moaned while resting my head against the closed door of our room. 

Noah hummed ini delight as he knelt in front of me, his face buried between my legs. The bottom of my dress covered him so I couldn’t see as he devoured me. 

“Already so wet,” he mused before flicking his tongue against my clit and slipping in another finger, spreading them wide inside of me. 

“Noah,” I panted and grasped his hair with such force, I heard a hiss fall from his mouth. 

“Happy birthday, angel.” 

A tender kiss inside of my thigh was the only warning I received before he began devouring me again. He sucked and hummed against my clit while his fingers continued to pump in and out of me in quick succession. It was all a blur as I let my body react to Noah’s touch. I whined when his fingers slipped out of me, leaving me empty and desperate for more, only then for his tongue to spear inside of me. His moans of pleasure were downed out as I gripped his hair and pushed him farther into my center. The euphoric burn was all consuming ,every bit of my soul becoming one with Noah as he refused to let up. 

“Noah,” I panted, my orgasm teetering on the edge of explosion. 

His fingers gripped my thighs to help keep me upright against the door, nails leaving half crescent shaped moons in the tender flesh. I rode against his tongue, basking in the splendor that Noah was the only one to ever provide me. With a muffled shout behind my hand, I let go of the grip on my orgasm and allowed it to haul me into the void of white haziness, stars dancing in the corners of my vision. 

“Fuck,” Noah groaned after pulling himself away from my legs, my arousal soaking his chin and stood to his full height. 

He made no move to wipe it away.

Now, almost an hour later, I stood in the kitchen with my family as Noah finished up his tattoo, grunting about how he’s going to have to disinfect the table a few more times before anyone eats there. Chase and Malcolm were leaning against the kitchen island in front of me, excitement evident in their eyes. 

“Are you guys going to tell me what has your eye twitching?” I asked Malcolm. 

Chase hummed while looking over at him. “You know, I never noticed that before.” 

The auburn haired man rolled his eyes before handing me his phone to show me an email from our tour manager, Ethan. 

“Wait,” I stood straighter. “No fucking way!” 

My best friends and bandmates couldn’t stop smiling as I began bouncing on my feet, something Noah caught because he came over to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. 

“What’s going on?” He wondered. 

“Hollow Souls is playing Incarceration in a few months! Do you know how huge this is for us? We haven’t played a festival of this caliber since Warped Tour.” My voice was raised two octaves, showing my excitement. 

Jesse, who was slow dancing with Tay to the music playing, nodded. “ERRA just got asked to play.” 

“Hang on, both Hollow Souls and ERRA got asked to play but not Bad Omens?” Matt was dumbfounded as he whipped out his phone, hastily typing away. “Oh, shit.” 

Folio raised a brow while looking over Matt’s shoulder. “Dude, don’t you ever check your work email? They sent that email almost a week ago!” 

“Fuck off, I’ve been busy,” Matt shot back while playing with Faye’s necklace again. 

“So you mean to tell me,” I began while looking at all of my friends in the room, “Hollow Souls, Bad Omens, and ERRA are all playing at Incarceration?” 

Noah beamed. “Talk about a sick ass line up!” 

While I sat on the couch talking with Davis and Michael as the former told us he met someone at the bookstore the other day, I noticed Noah, Chase, and Malcolm disappear into the back yard. I wondered what their conversation was when I saw a huge smile break out on Malcolm's face while Chase stood frozen before Noah clamped a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him something. 

Later on in the evening, I found myself talking with Faye and Matt, ever curious on where her necklace came from; the one Matt could not stop touching all night. 

“Is this new?” I asked. 

Faye nodded with a huge grin plastered across her face. “Matt gave it to me last nice.” 

“It’s a pretty necklace,” I said while getting a better look at the glowing diamond in the middle. 

Matt playfully smacked my hand away. “Not just any necklace. It’s an engagement necklace.” 

Both Noah and I froze at his words, wondering if we heard him correctly. Faye smacked him upside the head, causing Matt to grumble a slew of curses. 

“I told you not to say anything, Matthew. Tonight is about Y/N, not us,” she chastised him. 

He rubbed at his head while fixing his hat. “It just slipped out.” 

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “Did you just say engagement necklace? Like he proposed last night?” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Noah asked, rubbing his hand softly over my stomach. 

Faye sighed while twirling the necklace between her fingers. “We didn’t want to steal the spotlight away from Y/N. Today is her day.” 

“FUCK THAT!” I yelled, causing everyone to stare at us. “Whoops sorry. Keep doing what you guys are doing.” 

I didn’t want to be the one who dropped the news of their engagement. That was their business to tell. 

Keeping my voice quiet now, I pulled Faye and Matt into a giant group hug. “I’m so happy for you two!” 

“Gross,” Matt groaned when I left a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t need your Noah slobber all over me.” 

Right before I began talking with them, Noah had pulled me into the hallway right outside our bedroom to give me my second birthday present to which we ended up making out against the wall when Matt caught us. 

“What is this?” I asked Noah as he placed a black velvet box in my hand. 

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest when he motioned towards my hand. 

“That’s the whole point of a gift, angel. You need to open it,” he urged me again almost impatiently. 

“Alright, alright,” I smacked his hand away when he tried to open it for me. 

The box creaked open and I gasped when I saw the silver locket and chain standing out against the black silk it rested on. Angel was engraved on the front of the locket and when I opened it, tears welled in my eyes. 

One side had a picture of Noah with Salem and Kuma. On the other side was a picture of my dad. 

“Mochi,” I cried while looking up at him. “I-I-.” 

Words were foreign, emotions overtaking me from how thoughtful this gift was. 

Noah brushed away my tears with his lips, kissing me down to my neck. “I love you so fucking much, Y/N. You wear this and we will always be with you, no matter how near or far.” 

His gentle hands worked on clasping the locket behind my neck, resting just above the other necklace he gifted me for my previous birthday.” 

"This engagement necklace is so pretty!" I smiled at Faye, holding the necklace between my fingers and adding the correct word now since Matt corrected me a minute ago. 

Noah stood behind me, his arms around my waist as I was pulled close into his chest. He'd been so soft and wanted to touch me any chance he could since we woke up this morning, not that I was complaining. It was nice to feel so wanted. 

So loved. 

His warm breath fanned over my ear. "I love you." 

I smiled over my shoulder at him, leaving a tender kiss on his cheek. "I love you more."

Faye's voice brought my attention back to her and I shook my head. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Faye's smile was so wide that it reached her eyes. "I can't believe Matt proposed with the Evenstar necklace!" 

My brows furrowed while playing with my locket. "The what now?" 

"From Lord of the Rings," Faye answered, like it should have been common knowledge. 

I sucked in a breath. "I-uh-never actually seen any of the Lord of The Rings movies." 

All noise in the house seized, so eerily quiet you could hear a pin drop and Noah's grip around me loosened so he could stand in front of me now. There was a look of disbelief on his face. 

His wasn't the one I was looking at, however. It was Matt who looked like I just ripped out his heart and stomped on it. 

"Y/N," Matt held a hand over his chest. "Please tell me you're lying." 

"Oh no," I cringed. "Are we not best friends anymore?"

Noah ran a hand over his face. "I cannot believe we've been dating for over a year and I'm just now finding out you've never seen one of my favorite movie series." 

I could see the faint smile hiding behind his hand. 

"I've never been interested in those movies," I shrugged. 

Wrong answer. 

An uproar sounded in the house as Noah tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me into the living room. Matt's voice booming behind me. 

"Davis! Load them up now. We're having a movie marathon for Y/N's birthday."

Noah pulled me down to the couch with him, immediately wrapping his arms around my midsection to pull me into his chest. I was already warm from drowning in his hoodie and a pair of Hollow Souls joggers so his extra body heat was like a blanket covering both of us. As Davis clicked through Noah’s Fandango account on the television, I glanced over to Jolly who was helping Astrid sit on the couch. All evening he’d been extra attentive to her, constantly asking if she needed anything or keeping a hand on her stomach. She took the glass of water from him with a kiss of thanks just before he sat next to her. 

That’s weird. Astrid always has a glass of wine at these get-togethers. 

I let out a gasp when the realization hit me and smacked a hand over my mouth so I didn’t catch the attention of the others around me. Noah, however, did catch on and I felt him press a kiss to my cheek. 

“They want to tell you, angel. But they’re afraid of how you’ll react.” 

Sad eyes stared down at Noah since I was still seated on his lap. “What do you mean? You knew?” 

“Jolly told me this morning. He wanted my opinion on how to bring it up to you because of your endometriosis. They don't want to make it seem like they’re rubbing it in,” Noah explained while rubbing my back. 

My heart immediately sank to the depths of my stomach, hurt digging into my system but not for the reason others thought. But because my best friends couldn’t tell me they were pregnant without the fear of upsetting me. 

Leaving Noah with a kiss, I stood from the couch and extended my hand towards Astrid, who glanced at me with confusion. Jolly’s gaze bounced between us with slight hesitation. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll bring her back to you,” I ruffled his hair.

“Where are you going?” Matt asked while pointing to the television. “We’re about to start with the first Hobbit!” 

Rolling my eyes at him, I pulled Astrid off of the couch. “Give me five minutes, thotblaster. Then you can strap me down so I have no choice but to watch these movies.” 

With my hand in hers, I led Astrid to my art studio and made sure the door was closed behind us. Her white hair with slightly overgrown roots was pulled back into a tight braid and the light behind her eyes was slowly flickering. 

“Are you doing alright? I know you wanted to meet up to talk earlier,” I said while we both sat on the couch I had in the room. 

Astrid hesitated for a moment, gnawing on her bottom lip and began rubbing her hands up and down on her jeans. “Noah told you?” 

“I picked it up on my own. I’m quite perceptive,” I joked with a sly smile before grasping her hands to hold them in my lap. “Astrid, please know you do not have to hide something like this from me in fear of how I’ll react.” 

She nodded with wet eyes. “We just found out last night. It wasn’t planned and if I’m being honest, things with Jolly haven’t been great the last few weeks. Part of me is afraid this will push him away more than bring us closer together.” 

“I don’t think so. From what I’ve seen tonight, he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of you. Come to think of it, Noah’s been acting the same way since he woke up this morning.” I waved her off, getting distracted. “But my point is, you two deserve this. This group needs a little one of us running around. And it being a little mini mix of you and Jolly is a plus.” 

Astrid laughed through her tears. “You’re not mad?” 

My eyes widened. “Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m fucking ecstatic. I’ve come to terms a long time ago that kids aren’t in the cards for me. This is something both Noah and I have spent many nights coming to terms with. We’re more than alright being the fun uncle and aunt of the group.” 

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, almost knowing that deep down my heart was breaking for not being able to have something I desperately wished for. 

“In time, you and Noah will find a way to leave your love so it can carry on,” Astrid assured me. 

Over her voice, another seemed to speak quietly in my ear; a voice I hadn’t heard in years. 

It’s okay. 

TAY

With a yawn, I buried myself deeper into the blankets on my bed while browsing through the adoption site on my phone. It was a long day of shopping with Y/N and then her surprise birthday party. The second I stepped foot into my apartment, I made a beeline for the shower and then immediately jumped into bed. Jesse emerged from the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom and turned the light off with a soft click. For a long moment, the dogs that were up for adoption were a forgotten thought as I tracked my eyes over the tattoos that littered Jesse’s bare torso; the ones I spent many nights kissing. 

“Like what you see?” He teased while tying back the curls from his face before climbing into bed with me. 

“Very much so,” I grinned while plugging in my phone and snuggled closer into his warm chest. 

We lay there as a rerun of Ghost Adventures played on the television and I dragged my nail over the tiger tattoo across his stomach. 

“Everything alright?” Jesse questioned while brushing his lips over my forehead. 

I sighed while giving a limp shrug. “Why do you let me look at dogs for adoption when I cant get one because this stupid apartment doesn’t allow it?” 

“Is it the same husky?” His hand dragged up and down my spine, causing shivers to cover my skin. 

“Yeah,” I pouted while looking up at him. “She’s all white with bright blue eyes! And her name is Sky. How cool would it be to name her Skyline?!” 

He chuckled at my excitement. “It would be cute.” 

Kicking my feet in another pout, I buried my face in the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar scent. The last four months with him had been a whirlwind of emotions. I’d have my fair share of terrible relationships so when we started dating it was like a breath of fresh air. Jesse showed me how I deserved to be treated and if he could, I knew he’d give me the moon and stars in a necklace so I could walk around with them all the time.  

My heart beat wildly in my chest when Jesse hooked my leg over his hips to pull me closer to him. 

“You’re too far away from me, darlin,” he whispered. 

Giggling, I pressed a kiss to his chest. “Can you tell me something so I stop thinking about the poor husky in the cold and dark shelter?” 

“What do you want to know?” 

Suddenly my head snapped up so I could stare down at him. “Tell me where the hell Mochi came from?” 

Jesse sucked in a breath. “Can’t do that. I promised Noah I’d take that to the grave.”

I batted my bright eyes at him while jutting out my bottom lip. “Please?” 

Wrapping his arm around me, Jesse hooked his other arm behind his head. “Alright, so it started when Hollow Souls and Bad Omens were touring together a couple years ago.” 

NOAH 

I bounced on the soles of my feet, excitedly waiting for Y/N to arrive. My one gloved hand was shoved deep in my coat pocket while the other was out as I stared down at the makeup that went into making it look old and wrinkled; along with my face. We never had plans to make a music video for Just Pretend but with how it blew up over night on Tik Tok and we realized how much people love the song, we knew it had to be done. 

Just Pretend was mine and Y/N’s song, something that was meant for the two of us. But my mind immediately began to run with ideas on how we could make the music video work for our Concrete Jungle universe. Thankfully, she was on board with the entire idea even though she was a bit worried about her being in the music video with me. 

“It’s just your arm and bracelet, angel. No one will see your face.”

“Five minutes, Noah!”

Glancing over my shoulder towards Erik, I nodded. “Y/N’s almost here.” 

Erik Rojas nodded with a sly smile before looking back at the computer monitor, going over what we had shot yesterday with the younger couple in the music video. I worked from 8 in the morning to nearly midnight and by the time I got home and crawled into bed next to Y/N, she was fast asleep. This morning, I left even earlier with a kiss to her forehead. For nearly six hours, I sat in a chair so the make up department could age me by sixty years. 

Y/N had plans with Matt this morning, something about him needing her for something top secret that not even I knew. When I tried to ask her about it in our earlier texts, she simply sent a gif of someone locking their lips. 

“Well, who’s this handsome fellow?” 

Turning on my heels, my heart soared into my chest when I saw Y/N walk through the door of the building we were shooting the video in, her usual glow behind her; one that I immediately noticed was muted gray, darkness creeping in. 

“Are you alright?” I questioned while cupping her cheek with my gloved hand. 

Her face faltered, only for a moment, before she gave me a bright yet forced smile. 

“Please don’t lie to me,” I sighed. “What’s wrong?” 

Y/N nodded in my grasp. “The endo pain is bad today. But I’ll be okay.”

“Angel,” I sighed while rubbing a thumb just under her eye. “We can reschedule. I don’t want you to force yourself  to work.” 

“I promise,” Y/N’s finger hooked in the belt loop of my pants to bring me closer to her, resting her chin on my chest while looking up at me. “I’ll be fine. But you know what will help?” 

I raised a brow, as best as I could underneath all of the prosthetics. “What’s that?” 

“Ice cream on the way home tonight,” her eyes shined. 

With a chuckle, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Whatever you want, angel.”

We stayed in this position for a little bit, ignoring everyone around us as they set up the next scene of the music video. Having her in my arms felt like my soul was home 

“So this is what old Noah looks like, huh?” She tapped my wrinkled cheek before scrunching up her face in disgust at the large premade stain of my white shirt. “How bad is it bothering you that you can’t wash that?” 

I groaned while letting my eyes shut. “So bad.”

We both shared a laugh as I brought her into my embrace, catching her wrist with my gloved hand. “Did you wear your bracelet?” 

Motioning towards her caught wrist, I pulled down the sleeve of her jacket to see the silver chain around her. 

“I never take it off, Noah. You know that.”

It was true. 

Y/N wore the bracelet and necklace all the time, never taking it off. Even when she showered. She said it was a way to have me with her when I wasn’t. 

Holding her close, I breathed in her familiar scent of peaches. “Does this old man get a kiss from his best girl?” 

Y/N hummed while stepping on the tips of her toes and brushed a kiss across my lips. It was one that was barely felt, gone before it registered in my brain. She was teasing me because of what I’d done to her this morning. While I was saying goodbye, I brushed my fingers over her slick folds underneath the blanket teasing her clit a few times before slipping out of the bedroom. She fell asleep naked last night, something we both did often. Mostly because of wanting the intimacy of feeling our skin against each other. We rarely did it for anything sexual. Sure there were times we woke up in the middle of the night wanting to be connected but I’d rather have the spiritual connection of having our bodies pressed up against each other. 

“Angel,” I began but she was swiftly called over by the make up department, needing to get her ready for her part of the music video. 

Giving them a nod, she turned back towards me to ruffle my hair. “I’ll see you in a bit, mochi.” 

She slipped through my fingers like a ghost, further creating distance between me; physically and spiritually. Ever since my dreamstate, I’d been feeling this undeniable urge to make sure Y/N knew how much she meant to me. I needed to prove to her that I’d do whatever it took to make sure she was loved and cared for until her last breath. 

Not only because of the dreamstate but because of Matt and Faye getting engaged and Jolly and Astrid news of becoming parents soon, it seemed to put my ass in gear. I was done floating along with my relationship. I couldn’t put this off any longer. It was burning a hole in Michael’s top dresser drawer. 

“Noah, you ready?” One of the assistants helping out Erik called over to me from his position next to the old chair surrounded by monitors. 

“One second,” I said while pulling out my phone and clicking on the ‘House Boy’s’ group chat. 

Me: What time is our studio session on Friday?

Michael: We’re booked from 12-5. Think it’ll be enough time?

Me: Should be. We just need to track yours and Y/N’s vocal’s. Chase said we can use their studio to mix everything. 

Jesse: I don’t know how you managed to talk Y/N into being a cover on the OST. 

I snickered at that, remembering how persistent I was in trying to get her to agree. I’d brought it up to her the other night at dinner when I caught her and Michael singing together. Chief was already a planend feature on the CJ OST but we’d been trying to find a perfect female voice that would match well with Michael’s. 

Y/N was apprehensive at first when I asked if she wanted to do it only because we were still pretty private with our relationship, not making it public knowledge yet. But I assured her that we shouldn’t care what people think about that aspect. Hollow Souls being a feature on Bad Omens next album would be huge. 

Michael: It’s because I’m just so handsome. 

Me: 😒

Jesse: Honestly, that makes a lot of sense if you think about it. 

Me: I hate you guys so fucking much. 

Michael: That’s a weird way to say I love you. 

Jesse: SMOOCHES! 

Rolling my eyes at them with a slight chuckle, I pocketed my phone and shifted into work mode by spending the next little while filming my part of the video; finger pressing the button of the remote in my hand and clawing at the tube in my throat. It was pretty easy and went smoothly. By the time I finished, Y/N had returned dressed in a white cardigan sweater and her left arm done with the special effect make-up, her bracelet sparking under the low light of the set as I sat up from the chair. 

“I still think we should have aged you by sixty years so we could match,” I joked as she reached me. 

“Will you read to me by the ocean when I’m old and gray?” She teased while pulling me closer by my own sweater to press a kiss to my lips.  

“Until our last dying breath,” I vowed with all the seriousness in my voice. 

Our eyes met in a fiery trance, neither of us wanting to break it first and the longer we stared at each other, I could see the light slowly beginning to ignite behind hers once again. 

“Are you ready for your big moment?” I asked as we began walking down the long hallway towards the made up hospital room where Y/N would be. 

She snorted while linking our fingers together, hands beginning to sway between us. “All I have to do is lay there while the doctors try to save my life. Just show the bracelet and make sure it looks pretty.” 

I pulled us to a stop in the hallway, twirling her around and pulling her into my chest; her laughter echoing all around us. 

“That shouldn’t be too hard for you because you’re always pretty,” I winked before capturing her lips into a kiss. 

It was slow, both of us taking our time tasting each other, and Y/N hummed into my mouth when my tongue brushed against her bottom lip. 

“GET A ROOM!” Bryan’s voice called from down the hall before we heard the rapid clicking of his camera. 

Flipping him off, I pressed another kiss to Y/N’s lips and held her close to my chest while looking at Bryan, who snapped another picture of us. 

“Cool if I get shots of you in the bed?” He asked Y/N. 

She nodded before looking up at me. “Are you all finished for the day?” 

“Almost. I just need the shot of me walking down the hallway to your room.” 

“Perfect,” Y/N kissed my chin. “I can’t wait for the ice cream.” 

She walked away from me but halted, turning swiftly on her feet to face me again. “What movie are we on tonight?” 

I chuckled while stuffing my hands in the pockets of my pants. “Two Towers. Matt is going to want to do the extended version.” 

Back on her birthday, we watched all three Hobbit movies and last night we watched Fellowship of The Ring together; something Matt made known how upset he was that we watched it without him. So we promised we’d go over to his and Faye’s place tonight to watch the next one. 

Y/N rolled her eyes with an over the top sigh. “I guess since he’s my best friend that’s okay.” 

Erik popped his head out of the hospital room. “We’re ready for you, Y/N.” 

Witha thumbs up, she ran back over to me with a playful smirk. “I can’t get over how good you look.” 

She breathed over my lips before pushing away from me and following Erik into the room at the end of the hall. 

With a cheeky smile, I walked back towards where I was previously sitting in the chair with the monitors around me. The plan was for me to wake up from my memory core dreaming when the memory of my younger love was dying and follow the doctors down the hall to where old Y/N was laying in the bed dying. 

Thank Hades my dreamstate didn’t end up like that. 

MICHAEL

“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend.” 

Y/N cringed while adjusting the headset over her ears. “Can we maybe turn my voice down? I feel like I might be too loud.”

I nodded while adjusting the necessary buttons before speaking into the microphone that echoed into the recording booth. “Try now.”

Noah sat next to me, watching Y/N with adoration in his eyes as she sang the opening part of Just Pretend again; for the third time. We were in the studio for the last three hours and I finished recording my vocal parts a while ago. Y/N wanted to make sure her vocal take was perfect because this song meant so much to her. 

“That shirt looks familiar,” Jolly spoke while motioning towards the shirt Y/N was wearing as he walked into the studio with a tray full of coffees from Fika.

“I haven’t seen her wear the shirt since our zoo day,” Noah said while taking a long sip of his coffee. 

How did he not burn his throat?

As Y/N continued to track her vocals, getting lost in the lyrics, I moved my head back and forth while quietly signing it along with her. Matt sat on the other side of me as we both conversed ideas on how to make the track once Y/N was finished. Noah’s knee couldn't stop bouncing as he kept his gaze between his phone and Y/N.

“She sounds really good, huh?” He mused with a goofy smile on his face. 

“Y/N and Noah sitting in a recording booth. K-I-S-S-I-. Ow, mother fucker!” I yelled, rubbing my arm after he punched me. 

“Noah Sebastian! What have I said about hurting our friends?” Y/N’s yelled at him through the booth. 

He pointed to me. “He started it!” 

Rolling my eyes, I pressed the button for the microphone in the booth. “Did you want to take a break?” 

She shook her head. “I want to do one more run through. I feel like I can get my voice a bit higher.”

Matt nodded while throwing his finger in a circle. “Let’s go for one more run.”

Furious typing out of the corner of my eye made me look over to Noah, who was clearly trying to keep his composure. 

“It’s going to be fine, Noah,” I assured him quietly. “You don’t have to worry.”

He looked away from his phone, knee still bouncing with anticipation, and did his best to nod. “I know. It’s just killing me not being there.”

“Jesse told you to trust him. So trust him,” I reminded Noah of our conversation with Jesse this morning. 

Noah pinched his eyes shut and let out an aggravated groan. “I still haven't heard from the realtor. I’m freaking out.” 

Jolly rested his hand on Noah’s shoulder. “You can’t rush something like this, Noah. You just need to be patient.”

Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch behind me and they were snickering about something which caused me to spin in my chair to face them with a raised brow. 

“Something funny love birds?” I teased. 

Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head, still snickering about something. “We tried to reassure Noah when we talked to him at Y/N’s birthday that there’s nothing to worry about.” 

Malcolm spoke next, bumping his knee with Chase’s. “It’s just funny to see Mochi freaking about little details when we all know she doesn't care about that kind of stuff” 

“I swear to god,” Noah grumbled with narrowed eyes. “I fucking hate when you guys call me that.” 

Our conversation ceased when the door behind Noah opened, Y/N stepping out of the sound booth. 

“What are you guys talking about that have all of you in a serious mood? No one is even paying attention to my record,” she pouted her lips. 

Matt raised his hand. “I was paying attention.” 

“Kiss ass,” Jolly snorted while handing Y/N her coffee. “Astrid made yours with another shot of espresso.” 

She widened her eyes before taking a tentative sip. “Is she trying to keep me up all night or something?” 

All of us shared a quick look and then Matt packed up his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Alright, losers. I’m out of here. I’m meeting Faye after she finishes up her shoot with some clients at the pier.” 

This caused Y/N to perk up. “Did you remember-?”

Matt waved his hand with a loud shush before ruffling her hair. “I’ll text you later with the details.” 

Noah pulled Y/N down to his lap. “You two have been really secretive the last couple of days.” 

She tapped his nose. “Not my business to tell, mochi bean.” 

We all laughed while waving goodbye to Matt and Jolly, I eased back into my chair while looking at my watch. 

“We still have the studio for an hour. Feel confident with what we have?” I asked. 

Noah rested a hand on her thigh. “It’s up to you, angel. Bad Omens and Chief got what we needed.” 

She glanced over to Chase and Malcolm. “What do you guys think?” 

Malcolm tucked a curly piece of auburn hair behind his ear. “I think we got what we needed. But it’s up to you, sweets.” 

As the three of them talked, Noah’s glittering gaze lingering on the side of Y/N’s face, I pulled out my phone from my pocket when I felt it vibrate twice. 

Jesse Cash: All set. 

Jesse Cash: No thanks to me, though. Tay did everything. I was just here to make sure she didn’t fall off the ladder. 

Letting out a low cough, I got Noah’s attention and gave him a small nod. 

He sucked in a large breath before tapping Y/N’s thigh. “Why don’t you give it one more go? Just to make sure it’s perfect. I know how much of a perfectionist you are.” 

She rolled her eyes and kissed his forehead. “You’re the one to talk! But you’re right. You don’t mind waiting around for me?” 

This is where phase one starts. 

“I should get home to let Kuma out. Jesse and Tay have been gone all day, along with us,” Noah said. 

Y/N pouted but nodded. “I’ll get a ride home from Michael.” 

“No can do. I’ve got a date after this,” I informed. 

I didn’t. It was a lie to set up phase two. 

“We’ll give you a ride home, sweets,” Chase spoke up. 

After she gave Noah a quick kiss, Y/N walked back into the booth leave the four of us alone again. 

I pointed to him. “Don’t go snooping.” 

“Trust me, I don’t need to know what you have hiding in your dresser,” Noah shivered while gathering his things and blowing a kiss to Y/N. 

“Good luck, mochi bean!” Chase called after him. 

CHASE

“Oh my god, Chase. Why are you driving so slow!” Y/N whined from the backseat of the car. “I’m tired and want to get home to my boys!” 

I tapped my fingers along the steering wheel with the beat from the radio as I slowly glided along the familiar roads leading to her house. We were waiting for a text from Noah giving us the thumbs up and with us being a few blocks away with no text, I had to do whatever I could to buy some time. 

“You know, sweets,” Malcolm turned slightly in the passenger seat so he could look back at her when I stilled the car at a red light. “We miss you. We just want to spend some time with you.” 

In the rearview mirror, I saw a slight frown pull on Y/N’s lips. 

“I miss you guys too,” she sighed. “Maybe next weekend I can spend the weekend at your place. Like old times?” 

“We’d like that,” Malcolm said. 

I spoke up next, locking eyes with her in the rearview mirror. “We’re proud of you, Y/N. With all the hell you overcame the last couple of years. There were moments we thought we would lose you but you pushed through because you’re strong.”

Her bottom lip trembled as Malcolm continued where I left off. “We love you, sweets. You’re a sister to me and would do anything to keep you safe even if you don’t need us anymore.” 

“I do need you guys,” her eyes were wet with tears. “You guys have kept me safe from the start of Hollow Souls. You were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on because of Trey and when I found myself in that darkness after the hotel room with Noah, you two brought light when I needed it most. I owe you guys my life.” 

I rubbed my nose, hoping to hide the sniffle because I didn’t want to show my emotions in front of them. I’d always been the strong one between us three. I needed to be. 

A loud horn sounded behind my car causing all three of us to jump so with a breath, I began to drive again, still at the pace from before. 

“I can’t believe you guys have me crying,” Y/N chuckled while brushing away her tears. 

Malcolm snorted. “You say that like you’re not already a big baby.” 

The two of them began to fight in the car which caused me to push away their hands while trying to drive. 

“Knock it off kids! Don’t make me turn this car around,” I warned. 

Laughter filled the car as a new text came through to Malcolms phone, him peering down at it. 

“We’re good,” he mouthed. 

Putting a little more weight to my foot, I let the car increase in speed as we reached Y/N’s house in a matter of minutes. 

THIRD PERSON POV

Waving goodbye to Chase and Malcolm, Y/N walked up the steps towards the house with her keys in her hand. All of the lights were off which made her pause momentarily because she thought at least Noah was home. When she reached the door, a bright green sticky note caught her eye immediately. 

Follow the trail.

A quiet squeal fell from her lips when she realized what was going on. It was like their redo date all over again. The sun was slowly starting to set so she barely had enough light to see the violet petals guiding her to the side of the house where on the gate of the fence was another note. 

I'm so afraid that the walls that I have made have locked me in.

Y/N’s brows furrowed as she picked off the sticky note and continued to follow the trail of violet petals into their backyard where she saw yet another sticky note on the shed that housed all of their gardening equipment. 

I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out until I let you down? So will you wait me out until I let you down?

The familiar lyrics pulled on her heart strings, having just recorded her version a few hours ago. Just Pretend was her and Noah’s song, a way they can be bound together for the rest of their days. A way to show others how strong their love for one another is. 

Yet again following the trail of petals deeper into the back yard, her eyes locked in on a bright green sticky note on the concrete patio. 

I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I've gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you. 

Soft acoustic notes played throughout the vastness of their backyard causing Y/N to snap her head up from reading the note to see Noah clad in a black sweater, joggers, jacket, and beanie, blending into the growing darkness of the night. However he was illuminated by the bright fairy lights that were connected from tree to tree, basking him in an angelic glow. 

He sat on a pillow that was laid on a pile of blankets with a guitar perched in his lap, fingers strumming a few notes before his voice broke through the space between them. 

I'm so afraid.

That the walls that I have made have locked me in.

I'm not okay.

But I can try my best to just pretend.

Choking on a breath, Y/N stood a few feet in front of him with her hand grasping at the two necklaces over her original Bad Omens shirt; the one she wore during their zoo day years ago.

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

Noah sang with his eyes shut, finding himself deep within the lyrics. His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he was afraid that it would burst through, leaving a bloody mess in front of Y/N. He wanted to give her his heart for the rest of his life just not in that gruesome kind of way. 

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I've gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Y/N took four large steps towards Noah and knelt down in front of him on the pile of blankets. There was a roaring fire blazing heat next to them and she saw a bead of sweat drip down the exposed skin of neck peeking through his sweater. Although she couldn’t tell if it was because of the heat or nerves. 

I know the pain.

That you hide behind the smile on your face.

And not a day.

Goes by that I don't wish it'd go away.

From the moment he saw Y/N walk off the Hollow Souls tour bus that day a few years ago, he knew she would hold his soul forever. They would be bound by that string that would tug when they were apart or pulsate when they were close by. 

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

There were moments Y/N would wake up from nightmares of when she walked out of the hotel room, leaving broken Noah behind. She vowed every time she woke up from one of those nightmares that she would continue to prove to Noah that she deserves him. 

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Can we try again?

When we're not so different.

Can we make amends?

Why can't we just pretend?

Noah shifted a bit in his spot on the blankets and opened his eyes to see Y/N with tears in hers and he desperately wanted to wipe them away. He hated when she would cry. Hell, he hated whenever she was in pain whether it was emotional or physical. When she was dealing with terrible endo pains a few days ago, Noah made her a fort of blankets on the couch with her heating pad and snacks galore. They watched all of her favorite movies all day while he gently rubbed away the cramps from her lower abdomen. 

He would do whatever it took to make sure she didn’t live the rest of her days in pain. 

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

They both were so lost in the haze of Noah’s angelic voice that Y/N hadn’t noticed the patio door behind her slide open just a hair.

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

As Noah poured out his love for Y/N, memories of their album release party played in his mind. When they were desperate to find each other that night, desperate for their souls to connect as one again while being guided by someone that had been trying to set them up from the beginning. 

Can we try again?

When we're not so different.

Can we make amends?

Why can't you just.

Y/N was desperate to touch him but was so afraid of breaking him from the trance. She’d never heard this version of Just Pretend and the rawness of the lyrics along with Noah’s vocal’s brought even more tears to her eyes. As Noah sang the last few lines, his eyes opened fully for the first time, immediately locking with hers. 

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Both were silent for a long moment, Noah setting the guitar down next to them on the blankets before pulling her into his arms. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he proclaimed into her hairline. 

She desperately grasped at his sweater, needing to feel him close. “I love you too, Noah. I’ve never heard that version before.” 

Pulling away from her a bit, those dark amber eyes peered down at her and brushed away strands of hair from her face. He marveled the way the freckles across her nose seemed to stand out amongst the fairy lights dancing above. 

“I wrote it back when we weren’t talking, after that night in the hotel. I was in a dark place and it showed in those lyrics. But now, I feel like you deserve to hear it. I need those lyrics to have new meaning. Something good.” 

Their lips collided in a kiss fueled by so much power, it made her nearly falter in Noah’s embrace so he laid Y/N down on the pile of blankets softly. She let herself fall into him, his tongue overpowering hers as he deepened the kiss. His hips pressed into hers causing her to moan into the kiss. 

“Noah,” she breathed. 

“I love you so fucking much. I need to prove it to you, angel. Please? Will you let me?” He begged while leaving harsh bites along the tender skin across her neck. 

Her nails scratched at the ink underneath his sweater. “You have, Noah. You always have.” 

Noah’s teeth nipped and sucked at her bottom lip while his hand began to guide her shirt up over her stomach, ready to pull it off of her but a blur of fur nearly toppled over them. 

“Oh, fuck. Kuma! Who let you out,” Noah groaned while sitting back on his knees, fixing the beanie on his head that became askew from his make out session with Y/N. 

She giggled while still laying on the blanket and peering up at Kuma, scratching at his chin and neck. 

“Hi baby. I know I missed you too,” her infectious laughter echoed in the back yard as Kuma pawed at her. 

Suddenly her hand brushed up against the new bright teal collar around Kuma’s neck, her gasping before snapping her gaze over towards Noah, who was silent. His eyes were on fire, vibrant with his tears, and a slight smile on his kiss bruised lips. 

After shooing Kuma away, Noah pressed himself to Y/N again so he could feel her close as she spoke in his ear. Professing her undying love, support, adoration, and praise. She agreed to Noah’s words, giving him every part of her until her last breath. His hands raked over every inch of her body, tracing it to memory, before sliding the shirt up over her head while she helped him out of his joggers. 

That night underneath the fairy lights and Noah’s soft vocals echoed in the air, inking on their skin, their souls merged as one. The invisible string binding them together in a knot so fierce, not even the fire blazing next to them could burn it away. 

One look at Y/N eyes and Noah would cave in. One taste of the life they could possibly have together made them both crave it. Both of them were in over their heads when they found each other but now, they knew what they needed. They needed something beautiful to shine through the darkness of their lives. They both needed this miracle. 

[coquettemouse]

Breakfast

The kitchen was already alive with the smell of oatmeal cooking on the stove when Jason walked in, carrying a sleepy-eyed Sofia on his hip. Her head lolled against his shoulder, but as soon as she caught sight of the high chair, she perked up.

“Up, Daddy!” she commanded, pointing at the chair like a queen giving orders to her loyal subject.

“Your Highness,” Jason said with a mock bow, settling her down carefully. Her feet swung back and forth, thumping lightly against the base of the chair. He tucked a stray braid behind her ear, and she gave him a lopsided, toothless grin.

“What’s on the menu today?” she asked, puffing out her chest like a food critic ready to give a harsh review.

“Oatmeal with berries and ‘the crunchy stuff,’” Jason announced, waving a wooden spoon for emphasis. “Only the finest for my princess.”

“Good,” she said seriously. “But no weird green stuff.”

“Who do you take me for?” he scoffed, pouring oats into a pot. “Some kind of spinach wizard?”

She giggled, and he felt the corners of his lips pulling up. As the oats bubbled on the stove, Jason tossed in a dash of cinnamon, stirred, and then turned to face her. She was trying to grab at an invisible something above her head, small fingers stretching.

“What’re you doing, Sofi?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Catchin’ fairies!” she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “They always try to steal my crunchy stuff. It’s their favorite.”

Jason grinned as he stirred the oatmeal. “Well, those sneaky fairies better watch out because I’m putting extra crunchies today.”

Sofia gasped, eyes wide. “Extra? They’re gonna go bonkers!”

With a dramatic flourish, Jason scooped the oatmeal into a small bowl, added a handful of strawberries and blueberries, then sprinkled granola over the top. He brought it to her like a prized offering. “Here it is—the one and only anti-fairy oatmeal deluxe.”

“Thanks, daddy!” She grabbed the spoon and dug in, but not before giving the bowl a serious look. “No fairies allowed,” she whispered to it, then took a big bite. Her eyes lit up. “Mmm! It’s crunchy!”

“I told you,” Jason said, leaning against the counter with his own burnt toast. “The kitchen elves helped out.”

“Not elves again!” Sofia groaned between bites. “They’re always leavin’ their crumbs everywhere.”

Jason nodded gravely. “The worst. Absolute crumb bandits.”

Suddenly gggles echoed through the hallway, bouncing off the walls. Jimena burst into the kitchen, hair flying in all directions, her laughter coming in breathless gasps. Hot on her heels was Leo, a grin plastered across his face. Keeping his pace slower than her.

“You’re too fast!” Leo exclaimed, throwing his hands up as he came to a dramatic halt beside the table, pretending to be out of breath. He bent over, resting one arm on the tabletop for effect. Jimena skidded to a stop, still giggling, and tiptoed back toward him, eyes bright with mischief.

“Gotcha!” she declared, poking his shoulder. It was exactly what Leo was waiting for. He lunged, wrapping his arm around her waist and lifting her up, her legs kicking wildly as she squealed.

“No!!” Jimena shrieked between bursts of laughter, squirming in his grip. “Dad! Dad! Help me!”

Jason, who had been watching from the counter with a faint smile as he sipped his coffee, raised an eyebrow. “Oh no, a damsel in distress! What should I do?”

Jimena pointed at him, barely able to get words out through her giggles. “Save me, Dad!”

Jason set down his mug with deliberate slowness, like he was considering a life-or-death mission. “All right, hero mode it is.” He walked toward them, his frame casting a playful shadow over them. “Leo, prepare for battle.”

Leo held Jimena a bit higher, shifting her like a human shield. “You’ll have to go through me first!” he declared, mock-seriousness in his voice.

“Dad!” Jimena wheezed, caught between laughing and catching her breath. “Don’t let him win!”

“Never.” Jason moved, hands darting out to tickle Leo’s sides. Leo yelped, losing his grip just enough for Jimena to wiggle free and land on her feet, victorious.

“Ha! We got you!” she crowed, pointing at Leo while clutching her sides.

Leo, feigning defeat, sank dramatically onto a chair. “Betrayed by my own daughter and out-tickled by my husband. Is there no honor left in this world?”

Sofia, still munching on the last bit of her oatmeal, chimed in with all the wisdom of a five-year-old. “You shouldn’t mess with dad,” she said seriously, a bit of granola sticking to her cheek. “He’s a hero.”

[beef-brisket]

Lucifer moved closer to Adam and hugged him.

He hated that he felt this way. And for what? Because a woman lost her baby one hundred or so years ago? Amd she was forcing innocent people to become hosts for her?

It was all a waste in the end. All of those people who got hurt or died weren't even close to being able to being a host for Eva.

Lucifer: I don't think you're a freak. Actually, you're one of the most normal people I've met in a long time.

Adam: ...Seriously?

Lucifer nodded: When I first got mixed up in this shit, I went to look for my wife, who had been missing. Turns out she's been held captive in some fucking house in Louisiana.

Adam: I've heard you mention that.

Lucifer: Yeah, well... you're more normal than those... that family. The mom was a bug nest. Literally. Right on the puss was a fuckimg wasps nest or some shit.

Adam: What the fuck?! That's disgusting!

Lucifer: Imagine being the one to fight her!? She was crawling on the ceiling! Shooting her puss bugs at me! And don't get me started on the dad. He wouldn't fucking die. I mangled his fucking brain and he still got up. The worst was their son. He was completely normal. He pretended to be under Eveline's control. But be wasn't. And... his dad... forced him to merge with him, to become something so... monstrous. Kid was an asshole, but I felt bad for him. Having to pretend he was one of them. Having to watch his family die and be replaced by what Eveline thought a family should be... it's sick. All of it.

Lucifer continued to talk about what he saw and killed those years ago. How it changed him. Changed Eve. Adam listened to all of it.

Adam: Do you think that's what's made Charlie different?

Lucifer: Hm? What do you mean?

Adam: Well... Eve was possessed by Eveline. That could affect Charlie's whole dna. And who knows what happened to you when you were knocked out on that boat. Besides, didn’t mom chop your hand off? And my sister and I stabbed you through the leg.

Lucifer: Wait- what? Do you think I've... got a parasite?

Adam laughed: No! No! There's two types of forms that the parasite can take. One looks like mine, a physical thing under the skin, affecting the nervous system and the brain. But then, there's the mold. It can't really survive here because it's too cold. But it's completely takes over the body. Till there's nothing left. It mimics everything. Blood, organs, the brain, memories- everything. Seems a bit weird that your hands fine after being cut off, don't you think?

Lucifer looked down at his hand. He's never thought about it. He just thought that the healing aid was just that good.

Lucifer: I... just thought that medical stuff was good?

Adam: Oh yeah. Really fucking good. I think Michael should do tests on you and Charlie. Especially you.

Lucifer rolled his eyes: He'd jump at that fucking chance...

Adam: Good. You're very interesting. So... he should test you. Like, for everything. Colonoscopy and everything!

Lucifer laughed and pushed Adam.

But this gave him something to think about. He never thought his healing was weird. He had a lot on his mind that he had never thought about it.

Lucifer: Yeah... maybe I'll get him to run some tests... I'm sure he'd love it... he's a real nerd for that shit...

Have you seen Resident Evil: Village? All I'm saying is Adam and Emily as two of the three sisters and Sera as Lady Dimitrescu.

Lucifer is Ethan trying to find Charlie.

At first, Adam was on his mother and sisters side- but because they have a weird thing against dudes, he eventually helps Lucifer.

Trust me, it feels illegal not to make Adam the stunning Lady Dimitrescu, but for story reasons, he'll be one of her kids.

I mean, their hot. What can I say? Adam would look great like this 🤷

Adam: Mmm- man flesh~.

Lucifer: ...Kinda gay, man.

Adam: It's not gay.

Lucifer: It is- man flesh? Really?

Adam: ...

Lucifer: ...

Adam: *stabs sickle into his leg and drags him away* Mother!

I have seen it! Ha I love this. ((Yes he'd rock being the Lady of the house 😩))

Lucifer: Ow!! What the fuck!?

Adam: It's not gay! Mother was right.

[ramblinscramblin]

Hi :)

I saw your ask box was open.

Can I suggest the merc falling asleep on their crushes shoulder during movie night? And when they wake up, they are alone with their crush who strikes their hair or cheek or something like that?

→Falling asleep on their crushes shoulder!

Genre: fluff, GN reader

Characters: Sniper, Engineer, Solider

This asker specified in a separate ask that it would be okay if I only did these three, unfortunately I think for now I’ll stick to just these three because I actually ended up getting a bunch of asks and didn’t want to overwhelm myself too quickly. Very grateful for all the submissions btw! Anyhow enjoy!

Sniper

He would have to be seriously sleep deprived to let this happen.

Sniper his hyper aware of his surroundings at all times, him “accidentally” brushing against something or someone is rarely ever just that.

He’d be hyper aware whenever sitting next to you, always ensuring there was enough space as to not accidentally touch. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or seem unprofessional, he already felt bad enough for having feelings for you.

To avoid leaning on you he just hung his head forward, falling asleep in the most uncomfortable position you have ever seen. But long nights of tossing and turning in his van had finally caught up and he was out like a light.

(Maybe it happens on accident, or maybe by your intervention he ends up leaning his head against your side. Oh no, what a terrible fate!)

He looks so calm and peaceful, so even long after the movie ended you decide to just keep quiet and let him sleep.

Eventually however he begins to stir, and wake with a soft sigh.

Freezes the second he realizes he’s against your side and under your arm. Like total deer in headlights, goes rigid.

He looks up at you to start spouting apologies and get off you, but instead with your free hand you just tenderly move a strand of hair out of his face with a smile.

His heart is beating out of his chest in an instant, and he quickly looks away to hide his burning face. Will not say anything from that point forward, and you choose to do the same, keeping the quiet ambience intact.

He might turn tail and run off or he might just stay, it honestly depends on the nature of your relationship up until this point. How close he views the two of you already.

If he lets a good thing be and just stays, he won’t talk about it or acknowledge it ever again. And if any of the mercs bring it up (which let’s face it, they will) he will deny it to the ends of the earth.

Thinks about it constantly, like constantly. He won’t be able to face you with a straight face for the next few days.

Engineer

Engie definitely ended up next to you on purpose, his passes at romance are typically pretty low-key, just sitting next to you is enough!

During movie nights he almost always pretends it’s just the two of you, making jokes about the movie while being shushed by the other mercs.

Tonight though it was a calming feel good movie, he couldn’t really think of anything to make you laugh so he ended up just sort of dozing off.

Him resting his head against your shoulder though is a happy accident, he didn’t mean it, but neither of you are mad about it.

I imagine that Engie is a super deep sleeper, once he’s out he’s out. So realistically you know you could probably sneak out from under him without waking him, but you’re not about to do that.

The first thing he goes to do when he wakes up is apologize for drooling.

But before he gets the chance you tenderly take your thumb as graze it over his cheek, smiling softly.

He freezes at first, heart caught in his throat.

But he gets his footing quickly, and starts “sorry for drooling on you darlin’” he said trying to break the ice a little bit.

“It’s okay,” you say taking a deep breath turning your attention back to your book “I don’t mind.”

He stays, getting nice and cozy beside you. It will likely become pretty standard practice between the two of you, he’ll shoo away any of the other mercs who might make fun.

This is the catalyst for him confessing to you for sure.

Solider

Solider is attentive at all times, if he falls asleep on your shoulder it is 100% on purpose.

Restless during movie nights, constantly (and loudly) interrupting the movie to ask questions or point out impossibilities. Doesn’t get suspension of disbelief.

Does enjoy cozying up to you though, the other mercs caught wind that he is calmer and quieter if sat next to you, so it became pretty ritual.

“This movie doesn’t make any sense! I’m going to sleep!” He loudly proclaimed to the group, earning a few annoyed groans and grunts from the other mercs. Promptly resting his head on your shoulder, praying you don’t shoo him away, or become uncomfortable.

Kind of dips in and out of sleep, kind of has trouble getting completely comfortable, and eventually wakes back up to find the two of you alone. Definitely sort of sheepish once it’s just the two of you, may pretend to be asleep.

Instead of insisting he get up you just sort of scratch gently at his scalp, comforting him as you guys enjoy a domestic moment together alone.

Might confess his feelings on the spot, might not really depends on his mood.

Doesn’t get up for a long time, an action that’s probably wholly your idea cause your arm is falling asleep.

Won’t be shy about it, but likely won’t bring it up again afterwards, definitely doesn’t enjoy any of the jokes anyone might make.

Is not opposed in the slightest to doing that again, pretends to be chill about it tho.

Eek! My first ask, I’m so grateful this was fun to write! My favoritism for Sniper really shows ^^’ whoopsssss

[brutalfantasytarot]

Pick A Card Tarot Reading: What Your Soul Needs for Self-Care 🩵

study the images. which one are you drawn to most?

[left to right]

etsy.com/shop/brutalfantasy - for personal readings 🤍

etsy.com/shop/brutalfantasy - for personal readings 🤍

etsy.com/shop/brutalfantasy - for personal readings 🤍

PILE ONE: four of wands, seven of pentacles 💕

"what if i fall?"

"oh darling, what if you fly?"

you work too much. i see that even if you don't realize it, it's because you're trying to distract yourself from realizing you're lonely. you do want a lover, but you are in denial of that fact. you do want to live with someone. you do want to spend the holidays with someone. but you refuse to admit that to yourself and anyone else. pour yourself a glass of wine. sit alone in your apartment. light a candle. get real with yourself. pull out a paper and pen. and just write. write down all of the feelings you try to pretend aren't there. yes, it's okay to cry too. want to know a secret? the reason why you aren't seeing the results from your efforts at work is because you're stifling your true needs. go on some dates. take them seriously. be vulnerable. it's okay to be share your feelings with those who have proved they can be trusted. having all these walls up doesn't do you any good. you think it's protecting you but it's just making you lonely and feel so freaking isolated. there are good people in this world. choose them. ✨🦋

PILE TWO: the devil

"chaos makes the muse"

what kind of life do you actually want to live? I'm not sure you're doing that. i see that you're looking around at other people and listening to those around you and that has you wearing clothes that aren't your style. it has you convincing yourself that this is what you should be doing when in fact, it isn't. you can admire what someone else is doing while also knowingthat you aren't supposed to follow that same path. you are here to be an artist. get those tattoos. get those piercings. wear the leather skirt. put on the metal choker. dye your hair purple. you aren't here to be what you see around you. you are here to be different. release the chains of other people's view of you and embark on your journey of true self-expression. you were raised in a family that has you feeling so trapped and stuck. you were constantly criticized. well, enough is enough. a little bit of chaos is perfect for the soul. especially yours 🌟💘

[blackenedsnow]

VAMPIRE READER AND BEETLEJUICE?? 🙏🙏🦇🦇 READER NEEDS TO FEED 🙏

bite me

WARNING: Blood (vampire stuff)

PAIRING: Beetlejuice x Vampire! Reader

NOTE: Oh my GOD, thank you for this request. You don’t know how much I LOVE the idea of a vampire reader. I could write about this dynamic forever. Seriously, this is everything. <3 I know feeding off a dead guy makes no sense, but for the sake of this one shot.. pretend it does.

SUMMARY: You’re a vampire in need of a feed, and Beetlejuice is more than happy to oblige. After all, you two are lovers, and nothing quite says romance like a late-night snack.

The place was quiet, draped in shadows, the only sound the slow tick of the grandfather clock in the hall. A chilly draft whispered through the stone halls, carrying the faint smell of autumn leaves and earth. Normally, this was your favorite time of night—when everything fell silent, and the world seemed made just for you.

But tonight, there was a dull ache gnawing at the pit of your stomach. The familiar hunger for blood was creeping in, the kind you couldn’t ignore any longer. You usually planned ahead, so you’d have something to satisfy it before the cravings got intense. But lately, you’d been… distracted.

“Hey, bats-for-brains!” Beetlejuice's loud, nasally voice tore through the quiet like a firework. You winced, but couldn’t hide a small smile as he made his way into the grand, dimly lit parlor.

“There you are, babe!” he smirked, waggling his brows at you.

You rolled your eyes, but your voice came out softer than you intended. “Beetlejuice, I’ve told you about the shouting.”

He leaned closer, eyes glinting with mischief. “Oh, I know. It’s why I keep doing it.”

The gnawing hunger in your stomach reminded you why you’d actually let him stick around tonight. Beetlejuice may be many things—irritating, vulgar, incorrigible—but he was also… tempting. And he’d always been more than willing to let you have a little taste, no questions asked.

“Beej,” you said, voice low, a hint of a growl slipping in. His eyes sparkled at that, and he leaned back, eyebrows lifting in mock surprise.

“Well, well! You’ve got that look in your eye. What is it, time for dinner?” He grinned wide, baring his teeth as if daring you to bite. He’d always found the whole “vampire” thing fascinating; you half-wondered if it was because it reminded him of the Neitherworld.

You nodded slowly, shifting closer. “If you don’t mind.”

“Oh, babe, you know I never mind.” He flopped back on the velvet settee, holding his arms out wide as if he were presenting himself to royalty. “Bite me! Go on, let’s make it dramatic!”

You chuckled, sliding next to him. “You never take anything seriously, do you?”

He shrugged. “Hey, if I took everything seriously, I wouldn’t be here, now would I? Besides—” he leaned in, voice dropping to a low rasp—“I know you love it.”

That was enough to make your hunger sharpen, and you leaned in, letting your fingers trace along the collar of his suit. His pulse beat under your touch, a little faster than usual. He might joke all the time, but he could never hide that shiver of excitement whenever you got close.

“Alright, hold still,” you murmured. He didn’t move, his grin widening.

You tilted his head back, baring the pale, almost lifeless skin at his neck. You bit down gently, letting your fangs sink in, and felt him stiffen, a low groan slipping from his lips.

“Holy… jeez, Y/N,” he breathed out. His voice was a mixture of awe and something softer, something almost tender.

The taste of him was familiar, a mix of the Neitherworld’s strange, earthy sweetness and just a hint of iron. It wasn’t like feeding from anyone else; it was distinctly him, and it left you feeling light-headed and exhilarated. You felt his fingers brush along your back, oddly gentle for someone like him, and you let yourself linger a moment longer than necessary.

You finally pulled back, licking the last traces of blood from your lips as he slumped back with a dreamy grin. “Now that’s what I call dinner and a show.”

You laughed, wiping your mouth as you looked at him sprawled out, clearly a little dazed. “You enjoyed that way too much.”

“Who, me?” he gasped, feigning shock. “You know I only did it for you, baby. But if I happen to enjoy it… well, that’s just a bonus.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

He chuckled, pushing himself up from the settee and brushing off his suit, though it didn’t make much difference in its already-disheveled state. “What can I say? I’m a giver. Ain’t I the best boyfriend?”

You laughed again, unable to argue. As unconventional as he was, Beetlejuice really did make you feel alive—even in the quiet, empty spaces of your ancient home, he filled it with his energy, breaking the silence with his loud, brash love.

With him, you felt less like a creature of the night and more like someone who belonged, someone who was understood, even if that someone happened to be undead.

“Yeah,” you said softly, leaning against him, “I guess you are.”

“Aw, babe, you’re killing me!” he said with a grin, throwing an arm around you.

And for once, you didn’t mind the noise.

[fall0utmind]

Medical leak AU pt 7

It's 11pm, have 5k words of whump from Vale's POV.

Chapter 7 - Vale's Interlude - A03

Parts 1-6 on the #medical leak au tag

Usual TW apply (suicide, abusing pain meds - no graphic details)

LMK what you think

Ever since the news broke, Valentino had been overwhelmed by a myriad of confusing feelings.

He first heard whispers in the paddock on Friday morning. He was walking past some journalists and had noticed the excited murmuring that usually accompanied big news. It wasn’t until he heard Marquez’s name that he stopped, pretending to be busy so he could eavesdrop.

Although he liked to pretend Marc was no longer important, he could not deny his interest in the man. Marc had ruined his untarnished career; it was only normal to feel such intense rage whenever he was reminded of the man. It was the reason he still spoke about him, he needed the world to understand the injustice, to feel his hatred. Because that was what this was all about. Hatred. He knew the boys would call him obsessed, but really, he was just getting a better idea of the enemy, for Pecco’s sake. He scoffed when he figured out what the journalists were talking about, the apparent breaking news– yeah, as if. He continued walking, amused by the idea. It was preposterous, all Marc wanted was to beat Valentino, to take his records. He wouldn’t have given up on that. The one thing Marc loved more than anything else was winning. He shook his head; Marc was never so weak.

It wasn’t till later, when he sat watching the press conference, that a sliver of doubt crept in.

He considered himself an expert in Marc. The way he calculated every action, how he performed every expression. Everything was a persona with him. But after the first question, it all crumbled. He watched pure fear cross Marc’s face before he could school it. The press constantly brought up 2015, it usually made Valentino feel slightly vindicative, the way Marc always had to paste on his media smile. This time, though, he only experienced a creeping sense of dread. Marc was trying to get them to move on from the topic, with limited success. Valentino observed the way Pecco was staring at Marc, concern and bemusement unhidden in his countenance. It made Vale frown. The atmosphere in the press room was tense, even through the screen.  

It only got worse.

Marc was staring into the distance, looking at something off-camera, his expression alarmed. The next question was worse, shaking Marc out of his daze. He watched in fascination as Marc’s façade fell apart, sweat glistening on his brow, his face carefully blank to the casual observer. Valentino flinched when his name was mentioned, and his stomach dropped at the sentence that was uttered.

Marc? Suicide? No way. No, that wasn’t possible.

Valentino was clenching and unclenching his fists, his brow furrowed as he intently stared at the screen. He thought he might be having a heart attack.

Jesus.

He was fixated on Marc’s face; Valentino saw the horror dawn on his face as understanding settled and felt his own nausea rising in response. He watched as the Marc on-screen flitted his eyes to the other riders on stage, he followed the younger man’s gaze. Pecco looked wrecked, fear shining in his eyes. The others didn’t look much better. The silence was deathly; Marc was frozen in place – a rabbit in headlights.

Valentino blinked. Marc shot out of his seat, sending it clattering to the floor. He watched in horrifying confusion as Marc fled. There was a second of quiet before the media room exploded. The three remaining riders looked bemused, staring after where Marc had bolted, before they too rose to their feet, trailing out of the room in a daze. Valentino had to close his eyes for a second. This could not be happening. Seriously. This had to be some elaborate joke, a media ploy from Marc’s team. He simply could not believe that happy, carefree Marc had done this. He settled slightly, yes, of course. It had to be false. Marc would never give up, no matter how bad it had gotten.

*

Thoughts of Marc were still on his mind when he found Pecco later. He wondered what had happened and why Marc had reacted in that way. A part of him thought this must have been some elaborate ploy to gain sympathy.

Pecco was sitting despondently on the settee in his motorhome, deep in thought. Vale once more cursed Marc Marquez, of course, Marc couldn’t just leave Valentino alone, he had to fuck with his students too. Anger rose within him; he shoved it down. Right now, he had to focus on Pecco. He sat down, their knee knocking as he did so, and sighed quietly.

“Are you okay?”, he asked.

“Ah, I do not know. Cazzo, that was hard to watch”, Pecco replied.

Valentino cocked an eyebrow, there was more anxiety in Pecco’s voice than he had anticipated. He had hoped that it wouldn’t have affected his student as much, Marc was clearly fine, wasn’t he? He said as much to the other man, who scowled in response.

“You’re joking, Vale. You should have seen him after, he was a mess, throwing up in the toilets, almost crying. It was horrible”, Pecco snarled. It raised Vale’s hackles, Pecco didn’t know Marc the way that he did.

Marc was a manipulator; he changed that narrative to suit himself. He would do anything to win, including betraying people he claimed to love. He got people on his side by any means. The way he’d convinced Ducati to hire him for next year still baffles Vale. Sure, he was a good rider, but putting him in red was a bad move, stupid if you asked Vale. Marc was dangerous, and unpredictable. Ducati was Italy’s pride, and they had gone and put enemy number one on their bike. Valentino’s frustration had nothing to do with his title record and his own failure on the Ducati machine.

Nothing at all.

Valentino tried not to consider it too hard, how much he thought of Marc. In his weaker moments, he allowed himself to reminisce on what could have been. He hated to admit his former soft spot for Marc, the way the younger looked at him as if he had hung the moon and the stars. At his worst, he let himself imagine sharp cheekbones and pink lips, of loud laughter and warm brown eyes. Marc should always be smiling; even going through tragedy, he smiled. The thought of him in pain made him shudder. But he was not in pain, because it was a lie. It was abhorrent to think of it as the truth. It could not be. It went against the very fabric of the universe. It was a bit like this: he hated Marc Marquez, and Marc Marquez was a smug bastard who was always infuriatingly happy. These were two facts that he clung to desperately.

He turned back to Pecco, who had gone stiff beside him. Valentino had heard that Alex Marquez had swept Marc back to their motorhome after the press conference, he tried not to think too hard about that. Clearly, it had shaken Pecco, and Vale didn’t like that one bit. He settled a hand on the younger’s back, ignoring his own thoughts for a minute.

“Pecco, you cannot let this get to you”, he said. “Let Marquez deal with his stuff, it will blow over soon enough.”

Pecco did not look settled by his answer, but Vale did not have anything else to say, instead, he changed the conversation into a practice debrief, easier territory for them both.

If only he had been correct.

*

Marc got pole position in qualifying. It made Valentino grit his teeth in frustration, wondering how the hell the Spaniard was beating the others on a year-old bike. He had been watching Marc carefully in his box, noting his slightly subdued manner. It made an unnamed emotion swell within him. He pushed it down. His stomach soured when he caught sight of Andrea Dovizioso in the Gresini garage, looking at Marc with unconcealed fondness. He was all over the Spaniard, the two of them laughing together like children. Surely nothing was that funny. The ugly feeling only grew when they walked past whilst Vale and Pecco were chatting in the paddock, the older whispering to Marc. Valentino couldn’t help but stare, as he always did when it came to Marc.

Valentino didn’t notice the man until it was too late. He watched it happen in slow motion- the cruel words and Marc’s heart-breaking reaction. The ‘fan’ was brutal, viciously attacking Marc. It was hard to watch the way his face broke, his eyes going shiny with tears. Valentino’s world stopped at the hurt he saw. By the time his brain came back online, Pecco had gone, stalking over to the incident. He followed closely, grimacing as Pecco began to shout at the man. Marc was being dragged away by Dovi,  Vale tried to shove down the misplaced discomfort at seeing the two together, it almost felt akin to jealousy. But that was impossible. He had nothing to be jealous of.

(Nothing).

He re-focussed on the way that security was hauling the man away from them and towards the exit. Valentino tugged Pecco’s sleeve, wanting to escape from the public as soon as possible. He swallowed down the feelings which threatened to rise at what he had just witnessed.

“Come on, let’s go, it’s not worth it”, he sighed, pausing briefly before continuing, “you are upset, it is not worth staying and watching, we will make sure he never comes back. I promise.”

Pecco relented. His face was distraught, his anguish clear. By the time they reached the Ducati motorhome, Pecco had fully retreated into himself and asked to be left alone. Valentino accepted the request despite his concern. He did not really want to abandon the younger man but felt he had no choice after he had almost screwed up that morning.

Being alone gave him time to think, as uncomfortable as it was. He was surprised by the venom that had laced the man’s voice as he spoke to Marc, it made Valentino wonder if that was usually how people addressed him. He could understand Marc’s reaction to such horrible words, and Pecco had always been a kind-hearted person. Dovi’s intentions were still unclear to Vale. He let his thoughts drift back to Marc- his sad eyes and blank face. It couldn’t be easy to be hated so viciously. To make matters worse, a quick look on social media told him that a lot of people had said similar things. He thought back to his interview this morning, where he had suggested that they disregard thinking about Marc’s life from 10 years ago. It was, after all, pointless. The past was the past. Clearly, he was alone in his views. He pointedly did not lament the fact that Sepang and his 10th were a decade ago too, because that was different. He closed his eyes, pushing away the mental image of Marc’s shattered face.

Instead, he focussed on his anger. The way Marc had practically fallen in Dovi’s arms as if he was anything but a lone wolf, an outsider in the paddock. He had heard whisperings in the paddock that Dani Pedrosa and Jorge Lorenzo were in Gresini today too. It seemed like Marc was inviting all the retired riders to watch. He did not analyse the feelings too much, but let the indignation rise within him. Marc’s stupid games were affecting Pecco, it was unfair. Vale frowned at the thought, it would not do, he would have to tell Marc to cut it out. Make sure that Marc knew that Valentino knew the truth.

It wasn’t too difficult to catch Marc before the sprint. The younger had, predictably, taken the quiet route through the motorhomes to get to the garages. What was more unexpected was the tense fight that occurred. Valentino had expected to call Marc out and be met with annoyance and maybe an admittance of guilt. He had not anticipated the stone-cold fury in Marc’s voice, nor his own rising emotions, made worse when he spotted Dovizioso’s stupid jumper. He tried to keep his temper under control but the thought of Marc lying to the media, making everyone feel bad, only to be doing that, with Andrea of all people, left a sour taste in his mouth. He was meaner than he intended to be and was met with blazing anger from Marc. There was startling hurt in his voice. It was only once Marc had turned on his heel and stalked away that Valentino realised that the younger had had tears in his eyes and that he had sounded scarily like he was telling the truth. He watched him leave as regret welled up inside of him.

Merda

*

When Marc crashed out of the sprint race, the guilt and regret increased tenfold. His heart had stopped when Marc had collided with the ground, nausea rising when he did not move after. He could not stop thinking about the look on the younger’s face as he had called him an attention seeker. It hurt too much. Suddenly, ten years of anger seemed irrelevant. To make it worse, now people were talking about more leaks, something about Marc and painkillers. Valentino wasn’t sure he really wanted to know. He was beginning to question why Marc would do this to himself.

Afterwards, Valentino tuned into the stream of the media pen, not wanting to go down in person. Pecco had won the race, and Marc had gotten back to his feet, scoring no points but alive. Valentino could only watch in horrified fascination as the press continued to hound Marc. He had never seen it so bad. The way the journalists watched Marc like they were hunting prey made him shiver. He didn’t think he had ever seen Marc look so ruffled. A distant voice told him that this was his fault. The aftermath of Sepang flashed through his head, he steadfastly ignored it. It was not his fault the media had broken into Marc’s house. He had not caused the fallout or the hatred, if Marc had not ruined his title chances, there would have been no issues. Valentino scowled at the thoughts.

His momentary distraction ended when Marc once more stalked out mid-interview. It left Vale feeling slightly dumbfounded. Why would Marc keep having such strong reactions to the news if it was planned? As much as he hated to admit it, his theory was beginning to show cracks, splintering at the edge. He chose not to consider the other feelings that came alongside that revelation. Instead, he turned off his phone, hoping the boys would provide some distraction when they came back.

The boys came pouring into his motorhome an hour later, after their celebrations and debrief, as was usual for the academy on a race weekend. Luca and Bez were first, talking between themselves about the race, making Valentino smile with their rehashing of the events. When Franky entered, he was complaining about how long his debrief had lasted, making Valentino grin as he reminisced. Long debriefs were always painstakingly boring. Pecco and Cele eventually stumbled in half an hour later, the older still buzzing from his win. Vale tried to let his awkwardness from earlier show as a round of cheers sounded. He congratulated Pecco warmly, and let happiness fill him at the sight of Pecco’s beaming smile in return. Things would be okay.

Valentino drifted in and out of the conversation after that, his thoughts elsewhere. He nodded at appropriate times and tried to look interested whilst his mind whirled. It was inevitable, really, that someone would bring up Marquez eventually.

 “Did you see Marquez’s crash?”, Bez asked.  

It prompted a round of affirmative hums from the others. Luca flicked his eyes over to Valentino, his eyebrows furrowed.

Pecco looked contemplative before he responded, “I am worried, he would not look at me on the grid. Then he crashed. He was distracted. I think the media are being too harsh. And the fans. They are being cruel. The things being said...”

He trailed off, deep in thought. Luca bumped their shoulders together, smiling gently when Pecco met his eyes. Valentino had the distinctive feeling that he was missing something.

“Did you hear about what happened in the press pen?”, Cele asked.

Pecco frowned at him, tilting his head to signal that he should continue.

“Apparently, he froze up completely when they asked him about the pain medication. Aleix and a few others basically carried him out. I saw it happen; I’ve never seen him like that before. It was horrible”.

His eyes flashed to Valentino as he spoke the last bit as if he feared being chastised. It made him feel distinctly uncomfortable, was he really so obsessed with Marc that his boys were afraid to mention him?

Bez looked on in confusion. He turned to Cele,

“What do you mean pain medication?” he asked. “I haven’t really looked at any of the articles, I thought it was bullshit? Or some kind of a joke”.

Pecco huffed slightly, scowling at Bez as he did so. The younger touched his arm in apology, and yet again Valentino felt out of the loop.

It was Luca who pulled out his phone, bringing up one of the many articles which covered the news.

“Here”, he said. “Yesterday his medical records were leaked to the press. There were a whole bunch of appointments and hospital visits documented. The main bit was at the end of 2015 and onwards. He had been to A&E twice, there was a lot about suicide attempts and Alex saving his life. Apparently, he had tried to overdose, it's unclear what happened the second time. His heart stopped I think.”

Valentino blanched. Luca grimaced slightly before continuing.

“From there, there was a whole bunch of stuff about his mental instability and risk. It looked pretty bad, even as a non-medical professional. Then today, more of it was leaked, this time about his crash in 2020. Apparently, he was abusing the painkillers prescribed to him. He would race through agony, causing more issues with his arm, and then just take a load of painkillers after to mask it. Again, Alex ended up getting him help. No wonder they are so close. I think there was a lot of concern about him using the pain as a form of self-harm or something, then it was so bad he just kept taking medication.”

Pecco spoke up then, his voice strained, “I just don’t understand how no one noticed. One of the most prominent drivers on the grid and no one noticed his declining mental health or his use of painkillers. It’s ridiculous.”

Valentino was barely listening, transfixed instead by Luca’s words. He took the phone out of Luca’s hand without asking, staring down at the article. There, in black and white, were pages and pages of clinical medical records for Marc Márquez Alentà. Valentino felt a bit sick. He couldn’t stop reading. There were blocks of gruesome detail about his A&E visits. The medical terms flew past Valentino, but he got the gist. It was bad. Page after page after page of horrific detail about every bit of pain Marc had gone through across the past decade. His eyes glanced over words, his mind conjuring the images to life. He could see 22-year-old Marc’s face, heartbroken and desolate in Sepang, and then blank afterwards. Fuck. How had he not noticed?

He wanted to stop. He couldn’t. Panic was rising inside him; he clamped it down. It was a lie. A lie. This couldn’t be true. He tore his eyes away. It swelled within him. He was going to be sick. He was losing it. Marc. He had missed it, how had he not seen it back then? The thought of his Marc like that broke him. The thought of him being the cause made him choke. He squeezed his eyes shut. Where was this coming from? Why did he care?

Vale spoke without thinking, his mind a million miles away.

“Why would he do that?”, he asked. Luca shot him a sympathetic look. Valentino had a suspicion that his face was betraying his emotional turmoil.

He choked over his next words.

“It’s not true. It can’t be true. Marc wouldn’t do this. Marc loves winning. He couldn’t win if he was 6 feet under. No. No. It must be a lie.”

Valentino knew he was now ranting like a madman. The boys were staring at him with wide eyes full of fear. He felt like he was going crazy and yet he continued.

“Why would be so selfish? Why would he do something like that? He was so young. He had so much to live for. What about his family? His brother. It’s not fair. It’s so selfish. I hate him. Bastard.”

Valentino was on the brink of tears, clutching at his hair. He didn’t notice the way Pecco’s eyes had turned hard and cold. He didn’t see the way Bez had frozen, clutching Pecco’s arm. The others were silent, shocked at his words.

Valentino looked up. He met Pecco’s eyes.

The younger man stood and stiffly walked to the door. He opened it and looked back towards Vale.

“You do not get to say things like that when you were part of the cause. Don’t you dare call him selfish. You are the bastard here”, he whispered, his words scalding. Before Valentino could respond, he was gone. Bez leapt out of his chair to follow, slamming the door behind him.

Valentino shot Luca a questioning look. His younger brother sighed,

“You are so obtuse, Vale. His sister also went through similar. She almost died. He is hurting seeing Marc this way too.”

Vale found himself full of outrage. How was he meant to know? Of course, he felt bad for Pecco, but this was Marc they were talking about. He said as much to Luca, who just shook his head, looking angrier than Vale had seen him in a long time.

“You need to wake up Valentino.”, he said.

“You do not hate Marc; you are obsessed with him. Yes, you were angry, but that was a decade ago. Surely you are over it by now. If I were you, I would consider what all your feelings about Marc really mean. Before you fuck it up even more.”

With that, the rest of the boys filed out of the motorhome, leaving Vale to stew in his anger and his guilt. He did not want to think about what Luca had meant about Marc. Instead, he would find Pecco and apologise, it was, after all, unfair to bring the boys into it. It was not his finest moment; Marc had always had that effect on him. He scowled at the thought. No one had ever been like Marc, he doubted anyone ever would. For Valentino, Marc was like a drug, inherently bad but at the same time addictive. A strange paradox for someone he hated.

Vale locked the door of the motorhome behind him as he headed out to find Pecco. The wave of anger had receded, and the guilt came crashing back down, threatening to drown him. He had to make it right.

Pecco wasn’t in his own motorhome; the lights were off as he went past, the door unanswered. He tried the Ducati garage but still had no luck. The staff had not seen him since earlier, after the sprint. Bez’s motorhome was similarly empty. He was running out of ideas and worry was beginning to engulf him.

One last idea struck him, and he walked slowly toward Marc’s motorhome, the lights were on. As he approached, the dread he felt threatened to engulf him. It was like a premonition. A war between guilt and anger was waging inside him. He heard Luca’s voice, followed by Bez’s, and the fury took hold. He threw the door open; it hit the wall with a resounding bang. He took in the scene before him, the remorse souring in his stomach, turning to resentment.

“What the fuck is going on?”

*

In hindsight, he could have handled it better. He had seen red. The thought of his boys running to Marc. Then he saw Marc on top of Dovi and Lorenzo.

He lost himself.

It wasn’t until Marc addressed him directly that he felt like he could breathe again. He returned to his body. The more Marc spoke, the more his fury faded to irrelevance. But then Valentino had spoken without conscious thought, once more putting his foot in it.

The realisation had taken his breath away. Marc had been crying. Marc had been vulnerable; he hated being perceived as weak. Marc was angry, no, he was furious. Marc had just had his deepest secrets announced to the world. He was receiving more hate than Valentino had ever seen.

He hadn’t been lying.

Why the fuck did Vale ever think he had been lying? The evidence had been right in front of him, but it had been too scary to really look at. Valentino hadn’t wanted to admit what he had done. He realised what Luca had meant then. He didn’t hate Marc. Yes, he had been angry about his tenth world championship slipping through his fingers. Yes, he had partially blamed Marc. But alongside the hurt, the anger, the pain, was pure devotion. He had lost the championship and blamed it on the nearest person to save his ego. Although Marc had done wrong, he had never deserved this. Sure, Valentino still thought he was dangerous, pushing the bike to stupid limits. But Marc would never hurt anyone on purpose. It was like falling 50 feet and hitting the ground, the realisation crashing into him. He was jealous of Dovi, that he got the Marc that smiled and laughed, the Marc that Vale used to have. Before everything had gone to shit. Valentino thought that maybe he had loved Marc for 11 years and that somewhere in his head, love had become confused with hate. He had never hated someone like he hated Marc; he had never loved someone like he loved Marc. It was all-consuming. He was obsessed. He thought about him all the time. He was always angry, scared, and jealous when it came to Marc. He couldn’t pretend he was ambivalent, not when he consumed every waking thought. Not when he still went on podcasts to talk about the younger man. Every insight was like a punch to the stomach.

He thought Marc was stupidly pretty, with his cheekbones, his bronze skin, his wide eyes and plush lips. He wanted Marc next to him, under him, above him. He wanted to kiss the stupid, smug smirk he always wore on his face; he wanted to kiss away his tears. Valentino wanted to bring Marc breakfast in bed, make him laugh, and make love to him. He wanted Marc on his track again, taking off his helmet after with wild eyes and messed up hair. He wanted to fuck him on every surface of his house, in every position. He wanted Marc in every way that he could have him.

Oh god, he loved Marc and all he had done was fuck up his life for a decade.

Valentino panicked.

He scrambled, pleading with Marc, distantly aware of the horror on everyone’s faces. He had been kicked out. Marc had shouted at him, and then Alex had shouted at him. Pecco left and Luca was disappointed.

He deserved it all. If he could take all of Marc’s pain, he would. Instead, Valentino was left with a yawning pit of desperation and want, devastation and pain. His anger was gone.

He thinks about the way the younger man used to look at him. He thinks about the adoration that he had brushed off as hero worship. He had broken Marc’s heart. The look on his face in that press conference. The way Marc would look away during Vale’s jokes about them together. He had assumed it was awkwardness, now it seemed like someone had hit too close to the truth. Now, Marc barely glanced at him, brushing off every comment Vale made to the media in a desperate hope for a sliver of attention. It destroyed them both.

Standing there, outside the motorhome, Valentino realises just how much he has fucked up. He isn’t sure there is any coming back from this. Certainly not with the way Dovi and Marc look at each other. But damn it, he will try. He will spend the rest of his life on his knees grovelling if he has to. He has spent too long with his vision clouded by misplaced anger. It had taken him 11 years to work out his love for Marquez, he would spend the rest of his life loving him, and every day trying to prove it to him. Even if it killed him.

[solsburyhill2]

Wish more people were in on Canadian politics bc the fact that the NDP is overtaking the liberal party is the most drama we’ve had in years Justin Trudeau has never been more over

[fromtheseventhhell]

I love how people are only ever interested in defending Arya's right to be weird-looking. It's never defending her intelligence from people who claim she's incapable of thinking for herself, highlighting her importance to the plot and refusing to see her as just a prop, acknowledging how much of her story gets stolen and given to other characters, talking about her trauma or how often it gets erased and overlooked, seeing her as more than just an attack dog/bodyguard, etc. Nope. It's just a "why can't people let Arya be ugly/unconventional looking? :(" post every other week because people are, for whatever reason, obsessed with how Arya is visually perceived. One of the most misinterpreted characters yet the issue is only ever with her being portrayed as "too pretty" or the wrong "type" of pretty. This fandom will entirely rewrite a character's motivations, values, and role in the story to the point that they consider references to canon "hate" but! The true injustice to canon is we acknowledge that she is described as pretty several times. Arya simply existing as her pretty, important, and non-conforming self is too complex and confusing for people to comprehend 😔.

[sochilll]

Also sorry it's been an entire day and I can't stop thinking about Alistair being in a dungeon and marking 47 days on the wall, deciding he's descended into madness, and feeling surprised he hasn't yet grown a beard. Only for Hendry to say he's been there for 14 hours, many of which he was asleep during. He is the biggest drama queen in the world and I love him

[adipostsstuff]

The 'Es is Mikoto's younger sister' crack-but-not-really theory post

@74n5n don't say I don't do things for you.

This is mainly a joke theory I thought of randomly but when I thought about it more there was actually a lot of evidence for it so I'm going to compile a list of it here.

They have similar appearances, doen to their ahoges. I reblogged a post earlier about this one.

Es is a similar age to what Mikoto claims his sister to be (early high school age)

Mikoto calls his younger sister brilliant. I don't know about you but I consider memorising large sections of law, psychology and philosophy to be pretty brilliant. They canonically "have a thirst for knowledge" and enjoy learning about new things and may possibly be the most learned person here despite having thr least amount of lived experience.

Es refers to themself as 'uchi' in his second voice drama, which a less formal and more childish pronoun rather than 'boku' like they usually do, which may indicate dropping their guard in front of him and becoming more comfortable around him. This is the only time they refer to themselves as that. (Credits to @/somokoto for pointing this out.) (Side note: it is somewhat amusing to me that the characters Es seems to be closest to are the ones voted guilty trial 1.)

The rest of this is mainly behavioural similarities which isn't actually evidence and more so parallels but I'm going to list them anyways.

5. Both are prone to overworking themselves.

6. Both are a lot stronger than they appear to be. Mikoto is "a normal man with average build" yet he is the 3rd strongest prisoner out of the lot. Es and Kotoko both point out that their physique is not very strong yet they fucking knocked Kazui off of his chair. Sure, he was taken by surprise, and they were quite panicked, but Kazui is heavy and Es is tiny. They should not have the muscle to do that from their appearance alone but they do. They could probably vault half of the prisoners across the room and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

7. Onto the last point, both (well, John more so than Mikoto, but he is just a different aspect of him) have violent instincts, which is something they share with many others and is likely the result of forgotten trauma.

8. Both have identity issues and dissociate.

9. Also I believe in the "Es committed a murder in the past" theory so that in this context is very funny. Siblings who kill and then forget about it entirely separately.

Like, I do not believe thus will actually happen because I'm not sure where to fit that in narratively and it seems like a pretty big reveal to just gloss over, and also you would think Mikoto would recognise his own younger sister (unless he's been away from home for that long and hasn't been able to return, which, given his work situation, isn't entirely implausible), but it would be wild if it were to come true.

[blues-valentine]

Don’t know if this is unpopular but Cobra Kai is terrible at writing romances is actually funny. None of the main canon couples have natural chemistry - and them trying to force either of the couples to be a whole “my strength and the love of my life” high school sweetheart type of narrative just doesn’t work because there’s not actual consistency and there’s not good enough chemistry to even sustain the lack of good writing. You can tell those writers have never encountered an actual teenager or an actual teenager relationship. Both Sam x Miguel and Tory x Robby are a snooze fest.

[puppyeared]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it