#This has so much comedy potential and angst potential

[adipostsstuff]

The 'Es is Mikoto's younger sister' crack-but-not-really theory post

@74n5n don't say I don't do things for you.

This is mainly a joke theory I thought of randomly but when I thought about it more there was actually a lot of evidence for it so I'm going to compile a list of it here.

They have similar appearances, doen to their ahoges. I reblogged a post earlier about this one.

Es is a similar age to what Mikoto claims his sister to be (early high school age)

Mikoto calls his younger sister brilliant. I don't know about you but I consider memorising large sections of law, psychology and philosophy to be pretty brilliant. They canonically "have a thirst for knowledge" and enjoy learning about new things and may possibly be the most learned person here despite having thr least amount of lived experience.

Es refers to themself as 'uchi' in his second voice drama, which a less formal and more childish pronoun rather than 'boku' like they usually do, which may indicate dropping their guard in front of him and becoming more comfortable around him. This is the only time they refer to themselves as that. (Credits to @/somokoto for pointing this out.) (Side note: it is somewhat amusing to me that the characters Es seems to be closest to are the ones voted guilty trial 1.)

The rest of this is mainly behavioural similarities which isn't actually evidence and more so parallels but I'm going to list them anyways.

5. Both are prone to overworking themselves.

6. Both are a lot stronger than they appear to be. Mikoto is "a normal man with average build" yet he is the 3rd strongest prisoner out of the lot. Es and Kotoko both point out that their physique is not very strong yet they fucking knocked Kazui off of his chair. Sure, he was taken by surprise, and they were quite panicked, but Kazui is heavy and Es is tiny. They should not have the muscle to do that from their appearance alone but they do. They could probably vault half of the prisoners across the room and they wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

7. Onto the last point, both (well, John more so than Mikoto, but he is just a different aspect of him) have violent instincts, which is something they share with many others and is likely the result of forgotten trauma.

8. Both have identity issues and dissociate.

9. Also I believe in the "Es committed a murder in the past" theory so that in this context is very funny. Siblings who kill and then forget about it entirely separately.

Like, I do not believe thus will actually happen because I'm not sure where to fit that in narratively and it seems like a pretty big reveal to just gloss over, and also you would think Mikoto would recognise his own younger sister (unless he's been away from home for that long and hasn't been able to return, which, given his work situation, isn't entirely implausible), but it would be wild if it were to come true.

[stealthetrees]

Coming soon to ao3 near you,

Fox’s batch finds out what’s wrong with him, except “what’s wrong with him” is that Fox was dropped on his head as a child and terrorizes his (unknown to him) evil wizard boss with just his personality alone until he gets electrocuted. Spoiler alert: telepathic torture does not discourage him.

[jegulily-stuff]

Underrated part of a jegulily lives au:

Petunia complaining about or trying to hide her 'weirdo hippie sister who doesnt care about the real world and lives in a commune' (a manor with her two husbands) from her social circle of frenemies

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

Soo going to be using more of harley, bruce, and Jon bejng study buddies in college in the mlp au btw

[sheep-shearing]

I know it's a common trope with OM, but the immortality thing is just sooo good.

MC who doesn't quite lean one way or the other, hasn't really expressed any opinion, getting into talking about death. Maybe they made a few too many jokes, maybe a demon brings it up. I just love the cast having that little 'oh' moment- the person you love, family, friend, lover, realizing you will not be there.

Some of them are little more realistic about it, like "well, Solomon's immortal" and they can just make MC that way too, thinking Satan, Lucifer, and Diavolo. Obviously some deny it hard, like Mammon, Belphie, Levi, and Asmo. I'm not so sure where Thirteen would fall, I'm thinking it could swing either way. Solomon would just be against unwilling/unknowing immortality for MC due to his own separation from humanity, but that's it's own post. It's got a lot of angst potential, I think, but also comedy.

Say, the gang having this little OH moment, and individually deciding to do something about it. Each of them have their own little scheme, some of them working together. Having looney toon shenanigans with a oblivious MC while accidentally foiling each other's plans. The Anti-Lucifer League and Party Duo accidentally screwing with each other's plans, leading to random scuffles MC has to deal with.

I don't know, everything is always so life and death, but it's also with a group of immortal idiots who love their human very much and aren't really sure how to act about it. I wanna write blurbs for the cast each getting into their own hijinks with this.

[muddyorbsblr]

would've could've should've pt1

See my full list of works here!

Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: Anonymous

Summary: A careless comment from Thor calls into question the stability of your relationship with Loki

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: 18+ | mature themes; the slightest bit of steam toward the beginning; angst; Tony and Thor having a very much "bro" type attitude and not in the good way; hinting at Reader's emotional baggage; the slightest mention of human experimentation [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established but private/secret relationship; Reader's baggage will be explained further in part 2

There was something rather peaceful in the routine you and Loki had settled into when either of you came back from a mission. Decompressing the night before the debriefing care of Rogers that you took bets on how long this one would last. And whoever won would get to pick where to get takeout from on your next indoor date night.

Your last mission was particularly stressful, nearly losing a limb from triggering a booby trap while retrieving intel about potential human experimentation from a HYDRA base. The second Nat mentioned that little tidbit in passing while you were unpacking your equipment from the mission, the god left the common area, raiding the pantry for a selection of your favorite snacks, and queueing up one of your comfort movies.

The one about a woman that hit her head and found herself stranded in a romantic comedy only to realize that her best friend, the one that had been in front of her all this time, was her great love all along.

When you got to your apartment, Loki was already there with the movie ready to play on the screen, and he even went the extra step to open and plate the snacks on the coffee table in your living room for easier access. And the cherry on top of it all was that he brought over one of his sweaters for you to change into, something he'd been doing more and more ever since you mentioned how comfortable they were during one of your missions together where you'd shared a suite.

"You know, I'm pretty sure they're watching the same movie outside," you mentioned, speaking around the wafer stick you were munching on. "Nat just texted me that she has Netflix power considering how this mission got us stressed out to hell and back. Wanna just watch it outside with the rest of the guys?"

The god shook his head, pulling you closer to him. "If we join them outside, then I would be unable to do this." He tilted your chin up and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. "And this is my favorite part," he mumbled against your skin before proceeding to give you a series of kisses, increasing with passion in each one.

Suddenly whatever was happening in the movie didn't matter to you anymore, an army of butterflies fluttering near violently at your stomach as he wrapped his arm around you and maneuvered your positions until you were straddling him on the couch, your knees on either side of his hips. He kept his hand on your waist, holding you steady while his other hand buried itself in your hair before he licked into your mouth, letting out a decadent sounding moan when your tongues met.

He moved his hand to your lower back, changing your positions once again so that your back was flat on the couch, and he hovered over you and between your legs. You leaned into his touch, losing yourself in his attentions, until his hand moved upward, cupping your breast. That was when you broke the kiss.

"I'm sorry," he panted, immediately moving his hand away once he saw the frantic, panicked look in your eyes. "I got carried away--"

"No, sweetie, I'm sorry," you insisted, placing your hands on his shoulders, and pulling yourself up slightly to kiss him, trying to reassure your boyfriend he did nothing wrong. "It's just…I want to be ready, really, I do. And I know it's frustrating for you it's just that…every time we take a step  in that direction something in me starts running and cowering in a corner, it's not fair to you that--"

"Please don't apologize, darling, you have nothing to be sorry for." He righted your positions on the couch, delicately stroking your hair and giving you a soft peck on your lips before he stood, offering you his hand. "I think we could both benefit from cooling off a bit. Would you like to join the others outside?"

Despite having offered it yourself just a few minutes earlier, your stomach dropped when the tables had turned, knowing that you'd put a stop to something that could have turned out completely mind-blowing and possibly even life changing. Only thing was, when you reached the peak of a relationship, that was it.

The only way forward was down.

"You go ahead," you told him, walking toward your bedroom. "I'll just change into my sweats first…so no one asks questions."

By some miracle, no one on the team had caught on yet that you two had started seeing each other and had been in a relationship for the better part of the year. And neither of you seemed to be itching to burst your little bubble of privacy quite yet, knowing that the second the team knew, Wanda and Nat would be down your throat with questions practically begging for every detail. And Thor would be doing much of the same for his brother.

At least that was the story you tried to tell yourself. It was better than what that little voice in your head tried to scream at you every time he didn't take the seat next to you. Or when he'd drop your hand and take a few steps back the second he heard someone rounding the corner.

Loki gave you a strained smile, starting to walk toward your front door. "I'll see you outside then." Before you could reach your bedroom, he called out to you. "I love you, little mortal."

You blinked back the tears that were threatening to come out, looking back at him with a contrived smile of your own. "I love you, too, Mischief."

A good few minutes passed before you exited your apartment, the movie paused on the TV and a rather lively discussion being had among your teammates. Something about Barnes' new girlfriend.

"Oh good you're here, jellybean, welcome to the circus," Tony greeted you, jutting his chin toward the empty seat next to Wanda. "Need your input on something."

Instead of taking the seat, you walked over to the bar to pour yourself a glass of wine. You had a feeling you were gonna need it. On your way there, you spotted Loki seated near his brother, giving you a minuscule smile and a tiny wave of his hand.

"Go ahead, I'm listening," you called out.

"Stark's trying to tell me the woman I'm seeing isn't all that interested in me because she doesn't want to spend the night," Bucky started. "Said she's just with me for the aesthetic of dating me, whatever backwards 21st Century nonsense that is. I'm trying to tell the rest of these horn dogs that maybe she's just not ready yet. Good things take time. Flowers need to blossom--"

"Sarge, don't ever say that line again, it's so cheesy you'll attract rats in here," you shot back, pointing your finger at the soldier before turning toward Stark. "That said though…I'm with Bucky on this one, Stark. Maybe she's just not ready yet I mean…not everyone's ready to drop trou and put out so easily, you know. How long have you been dating this girl anyways?" You turned back to Bucky as you asked the question.

"Three weeks? Give or take?"

"Dammit Stark, it's only been three weeks, give our boy some time." You made a show of facepalming before you picked up your glass, plopping down next to Wanda who immediately rested her head on your shoulder.

"They've been at this for the last ten minutes," she groaned. "Wake me when they put the movie back on." Meanwhile, you clocked Nat next to her, not so subtly massaging her temples in an attempt to calm herself down. You shared the feeling; this was such a common sense discussion it shouldn't have lasted thirty seconds.

"Well then perhaps you could provide some insight for another situation, Lady Y/N," Thor boomed from across the floor, swatting his brother's hand away when he tried to get the blond Asgardian to stop.

"Brother you really need not--"

"Nonsense. Lady Y/N seems knowledgeable on how timetables and relations between mortals work, perhaps she'll finally give the perspective I have been seeking."

Your boyfriend shot you a look, as if he was already embarrassed by what his brother was about to say, piquing your curiosity even more. "I'm all ears, Thunder. Ask away."

"My brother has been seeing a mortal woman for the better part of the last Midgardian year. My best estimate…eight moons," he began, your stomach once again dropping at the realization that he was about to ask your insight about…yourself. You gave him a motion to go on, placing your glass on the table to hide the way your hand had begun to shake. "And while it has been as you here on Midgard would say 'like pulling teeth' trying to get him to divulge any detail about her, something I have surmised is that she also seems unwilling to spend the night with him. Yet he claims they love each other."

"Yikes, tough break, Reindeer Games!" Tony winced. "My two cents? You're not just on the same boat with Barnes over here, you're the goddamn captain of the ship. Go on, jellybean, tell him."

"I-I…" you stuttered, your heart thundering in your chest from unwittingly having been placed on the proverbial hot seat. "Maybe she just…wants to be sure, you know? I mean…I don't know how y'all do it in Asgard but here, with some people, being intimate is…something m-more than physical."

You could see from where you sat that the raven-haired god's fingers were twitching, his leg bouncing as if he wanted to stand up and leave the room. You pretty much wanted out of this, too.

Thor waved off your explanation. "I completely disagree. That amount of time passed, I believe one should be sure lest she be wasting both of their time. Brother, much as I can tell you love this mortal, it is my expert opinion, which I believe will be backed by the men in this room, that your mortal woman does not love you. This is, as our genius friend Stark has stated earlier, all for the optics of having you at her arm."

It was getting impossible to breathe. How dare he say that about you right in your face like this? Thinking he knew everything there was to know about your relationship just because he was in one of his own?

"You know not the first thing about her, Brother," Loki hissed, speaking through his teeth as if he was readying himself to strike.

"I know enough," the blond Asgardian shot back dismissively. "You know I think the world of you, Brother, and after everything you've endured, you deserve every bit of happiness this universe will grant you." He clapped his hand on Loki's shoulder. "If this mortal shares not this sentiment, then perhaps your time is better spent elsewhere."

"He's right, Mischief," you choked out, your voice so small you were surprised it even traveled that far that it had everyone looking to you. "Maybe you are wasting your time with this one…you know, if she's making you wait so long." You stood up abruptly, making Wanda groan in protest when she nearly fell over to the spot you'd just vacated.

In what was probably your most poorly miscalculated decision for the night, you downed your wine in a single gulp, starting to walk back to your apartment.

"Hey where you going, jellybean, you just got here," Tony hollered from his seat. "Come on, I know talking about Frosty the Snowman's nonexistent sex life was a drag, how about we all drop it for now, I'll order some tacos and we can go back to grilling Manchie here."

"Or we could lay off either of us and grill someone else for a change?" Bucky groaned, throwing his human arm over his eyes as he turned his face to the ceiling.

"You know what, you are so right, let's talk about the big guy who has a lot to say about being the resident relationship expert." Stark turned to face Thor. "How is Lady Thunder lately? And how are you with the whole your old hammer chooses her over you thing?"

The conversation faded into a dulled roar in your ears as the wine begun to take what fleeting effect it would have on you, your pulse faintly thumping in your ears as you made your way back to your apartment.

You hadn't even been back two minutes before your door swung open again, the God of Mischief standing at your entryway looking a mix of concerned and distraught. "Darling, I completely apologize for my oaf of a brother, I had no idea he would--"

"It's okay, Loki," you cut him off, throwing your hands up as if to push away the conversation. "Maybe he's on to something, I mean you should be with someone who doesn't take forever and a day to be ready for something like this, maybe we should--"

In an instant, he stood inches away from you, placing his hands on your shoulders in a gentle but firm grasp. "Don't say another word, my love, please." He rubbed his hands up and down your arms in a soothing gesture; whether it was to soothe you or him was beyond you.

"You want more, I get that," you pressed on. "And I can't give that to you--"

"You are all that I want, precious mortal." He leaned in, pressing a desperate kiss to your lips before wrapping his arms around you. "I am already more than content that you've even granted me the honor to know who you are outside of our duties. This is all I need, to be able to love you as I have these past moons."

Tears began to fall from your eyes as your words weighed heavy on your tongue. "I'm sure there's someone out there more than willing to give you what I can't, it's selfish of me to keep you--"

"Stop, little mortal, I beg of you," he pleaded, repeatedly pressing his lips to your forehead. "Don't rid yourself of me like this. I don't care if there's someone else out there, they aren't you." He sat you both down back on the couch, cradling you against his chest as his hand rubbed up and down your back in soothing motions. "Please just try to put what my oaf of a brother said out of your mind. His opinion is entirely his own and it is one I do not share."

Your next question blurted out without much resistance. "Loki what if I never become ready? What if you really are wasting your time with me, you shouldn't--"

"Any time I spend with you, regardless of how it is spent, is never a waste," he whispered, stroking your face as he held your gaze. "If ever you decide to share that part of yourself with me, it will be an honor that I will cherish for the rest of my days, but I will never be the one to place pressure on you to move yourself at a pace you're uncomfortable with."

You nuzzled your face into the crook of his neck, prompting him to press a kiss to your temple when you sniffled from the tears you were trying and failing to hold back. "I do love you," you mumbled against him. "You know that, right?"

"Of course I do, my darling mortal." He pressed his cheek against yours, taking deep breaths to calm himself after the scare your words from earlier gave him. He wanted to punch his brother clean across the jaw for jeopardizing his happiness with his careless words, and the stabbing pain it put him through seeing how deeply that opinion had cut you.

He started moving toward your bedroom, carrying you in his arms bridal style. Mostly in refusal to let you go even for a fraction of a moment.

"What're you doing?" you mumbled, making a motion to move out of his arms.

"We're going to bed, darling. Just to sleep, nothing more, I swear."

"Hmph…" you shook your head, the motion making the tip of your nose nuzzle his neck in a slight tickling sensation. "Maybe…maybe you should stay at your place tonight." Your voice was so small, so unsure of what you'd just said. The god stopped in his tracks, his body going rigid and making you immediately regret your words.

"Do you want me to leave, dear heart?" he choked out, his heart at war with himself as it protested against him putting you back down on your feet.

"No," you admitted, lifting your head from his shoulder and showing him the tears that had begun to redden your eyes. "I want you to stay, I'll always want you to stay, I just don't…" Your breath hitched in the back of your throat, almost sounding like a hiccup. "I don't want you to be frustrated because of me--"

"I'm not," he reassured you, resting his forehead on yours. "Being with you like this is more than enough for me. I need you to know this, my darling."

He laid you down on your bed before his clothes changed into his own loungewear set with a wash of his green magic, settling under the covers next to you and pulling you into his arms.

"Promise me something, Mischief?"

"Anything."

"If…and when…the time comes that you get tired of waiting? And you want to be with someone else--"

"Little mortal, not another word." He tightened his hold on you, as if he couldn't hold you close enough. "Please, my love, let's just retire for the night."

"Just let me get this out," you insisted. "Let me say my piece and I'll never mention it again. Okay?"

He sighed, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. "Okay."

"If you want to be with someone else, just promise you'll tell me and leave me first? I don't wanna find out waking up one morning and seeing someone else with her arms around you and just waving it around for everyone to see." Your voice dwindled and wavered into barely a whisper, your arm tightening around his midsection, a part of you already refusing to give him up even if the day were to come.

"That will never happen," he told you. "Why would I ever wish to leave you?"

"Just--Just promise me anyway. Please?"

"Look at me, little mortal." He traced along your jaw with his finger, tilting your chin up so he could see your eyes. The sight of the genuine fear of that precise outcome reflected in your expression knocked nearly all of the air from the god's lungs. "On the remotest chance of that happening, I promise I will never do wrong by you. But I want nothing more than for you rest assured that I will never wish to be with another.

"Perhaps one day you'll believe it. But I will gladly spend my days proving my devotion to you. This…This I will gladly swear to you. On whatever semblance of a soul I have left." He brushed the tip of his nose against yours before pressing a tender kiss to the same spot. "I love you, my darling Y/N."

You finally settled in his embrace, resting your head on his chest as you began to let your breathing even out. "I love you, too, Loki."

Just the thought of history repeating itself one day had your blood going cold, feeling as if your very bones were shaking from the images your mind conjured of the inevitable day that Loki would leave you. Somewhere deep inside you knew it was ridiculous for you to even think that your boyfriend was anywhere even near capable of putting you through what he had all those years ago.

But that was the thing about fear. Sometimes it was rational, like jumping out of the Quinjet and having a passing scare that your parachute had a hole in it. And other times it was outright absurd. Like now. Thinking that in the morning after you first had sex, the god would have realized there wasn't anything worth spending more time with. That he'd have had his fill of you and now it was time to move on to better prospects.

It didn't help, either, that your overly cautious mind was yelling that the signs were all there. That it could tell you exactly where this was headed because of the dropped hands. The refusal to even sit near each other. The barely there acknowledgement when you were even in the same room together. Everything that had happened before with him…felt like a mirror image of what was happening now. With Loki.

And you didn't have it in you to tell him that his desire for privacy was slowly and quite surely crushing you.

A/N: Starting off another story from the request pile! This is going to have 3 parts, where both parts 1 and 2 will deliver on the more angsty part and part 3 will be the comfort/fluff. I know you asked for "90% angst", Anon, but hopefully 10k words worth of angst will do it…because part 2 is 6.5k words long 😳👀

everything taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog @peaky-marvel @lokiified @tom-hlover

[unlikelypandahologram]

Reasons to ship every single version of MegOP

since Very Dumb Discourse™ exists about whether or not certain versions of this ship are valid, this is going to be THE most positive post about all versions of MegOP. refer back to this post for reasons to ship your favorite version of MegOP if anyone gets weird about it with you. now let us begin!!

G1: goofy '80s faction dads fighting each other in a denny's parking lot every week LET'S GOOO, that shit is fun as fuck. orion pax also totally had a celeb crush on megatron before megatron ruined that and shot him and his pals 😔 and there's a lot of angst you can add with megatron becoming galvatron and optimus coming back to life to see how much he's changed!

BW: it's the sheer fucking comedy gold factor of a newly minted college graduate and a terrorist dinosaur IMMEDIATELY singling each other out on a prehistoric rock and deciding to call their daily gang slap-fights the BEAST WARS, what iconic drama queens LMAOOOO. also, megatron made his final body in BM look like optimal optimus SPECIFICALLY to fuck with him, and that's just...incredible

UT: the fact that megatron CANONICALLY acted like a grieving widower over optimus after he died in armada is. amazing. never forget their absolutely insane obsession with each other that they can never EVER give up on played a direct part in unicron nearly ending the world <3

Bayverse: this is the one continuity of all fucking things that gave us the lore about megatron being prime's lord high protector. absolute galaxy brain writing from the tie-in comics. also these two would ABSOLUTELY have the messiest, nastiest, most brutal hate sex imaginable, and that's beautiful. <3

Animated: optimus being a rookie washout underdog and megatron being a super scary much older warlord is a really interesting and underrated fresh take on their dynamic! lots of fun to be had with exploring what their relationship would be like after megatron finally acknowledged him as his archnemesis, lol. also...age AND size difference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Prime: do i even need to say anything, i'm pretty sure that one flashback still of orion and megatronus being friends is responsible for birthing a million shippers for this pairing alone LMAOOOO. the bitter ex-boyfriends energy was TRULY off the charts in this show, it's a damn shame megatron never appeared in RID15

Cyberverse: same bitter ex-boyfriends energy but this time with dates at maccadams. megatron also dies encouraging optimus to beat the unhinged alternate dimension megs AAHH THE ANGST

IDW1: they're both depressed gay war criminals in this one who CONSTANTLY live in each other's heads rent-free and that's amazing, lmfao. also, megatron becoming an autobot means this is one of the VERY FEW continuities where it's not nigh impossible to figure out a way to give these two a happy ending together in fanon

IDW2: space date space date SPACE DATE. they were falling together and everything. megatron also LITERALLY tells optimus to open himself to him...to give him the matrix...yeah megs my dude i'm sure that's the ONLY thing you wanted from optimus "opening" himself. toootally positive, lol

G1 Marvel: megatron was SUPER fucking pissed and weird as shit about the time optimus died over a video game. it counts

Dreamwave: their first fight had megatron urging optimus to join him AND they disappeared together in a space bridge explosion once which is like, a fanfic-esque setup for them to be alone. also i'm pretty sure this is the continuity where optimus accidentally gave megatron a lobotomy, so...uh...potential for angst is to be had

SG: mirror universe!! evil crazy villain optimus with noble goody-goody hero megatron has so much potential for absolute chaos. bonus if you also bring in the normal versions somehow through multiverse shenanigans <3

KP: the only way this version of prime can redeem himself from the creepy underage human girl bullshit is if he gets a good hard dicking from megatron. next

Prime Wars: huge "ex-husbands go on a road trip with their disgruntled daughter" energy here. megatron also LITERALLY says "oh optimus, if only you could see me now" <3

Earthspark: again...need i say why? they're pals and working together from the get-go, what's not to ship??

Skybound: optimus literally wears megatron's arm. truly beautiful <3

TF One: it's not out yet but give it time. the entire movie is going to be about orion and d-16 being madly in love and tragically breaking up, baby!!

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐎𝐟𝐟-𝐃𝐮𝐭𝐲 | Hitskip

"Finding someone who can take care of what you love most when you're no longer able to is a final act of love- and not giving up."

Tags/Warnings: Police Officer!Jungkook, Dog Hybrid!Reader, Partners to lovers?, Alternate law-system/made up laws, crime, futuristic, sci-fi, body-modifications, Fluff, romance, Adult themes (sex, alcohol, mentions of drugs but no consumption), Comedy?, Angst, injury

Length: gonna be added later

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

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Despite basically living together, you and Jungkook aren't really all that close.

You've never went on vacation together or even on a day-trip, mainly due to insurance reasons considering you're owned by the police department, and not Jungkook himself. There's been too many accidents and problems in the past, forcing those rules onto handlers nowadays, and some might argue that it's for the better. The more professional you stay with your partner, the more professional you stay during work as well-

But Jungkook has worries.

Mostly because, while you'll probably be able to stay in service for another ten years maybe, he himself has to resign much sooner rather than later. He's got maybe a year left until his contract ends- and he's been told that to resign it, he will have to go through a rigorous process of evaluation again.

A process he most likely won't pass, due to his past injuries and resulting body mods to keep him mobile.

He's already looking for a potential new handler once he leaves- Taehyung being one of those he's got his eye on, though the new officer might not be the best fit for you, considering how he constantly seems caught off guard by your honestly very normal behavior as a police hybrid. You're not a pet down the line. You're not meant to be cuddly and cute and well behaved- you're meant to take down criminals, fight, and protect, most of all.

Seokjin is out of the question too, since he's got Yoongi- and he's still very much fit for work, despite his previously injured shoulder. He didn't need anything other than a regular operation- now he's back in service, more capable than ever.

Jimin doesn't want to do the handler training- he admits himself that he'd get too attached, and that would just harm his performance and put others in danger.

So who the hell is Jungkook supposed to choose? He doesn't want to just.. leave, and let you be alone until the department decides that you're unfit for anyone else, just for you to end up in a shelter where no one's gonna pick you up because who wants an aggressive former policedog hybrid?

"Jungkook?" You wonder, ripping him out of his thoughts as he looks at you, noticing your upper lip bleeding.

"What happened?" He instantly worries, hands carefully holding your face, thump inspecting your little cut that's bleeding. "Hm?" He asks after letting go to let you talk.

"I don' no'-" You fumble a little, trying not to move your lip too much. "I a'e an' use' a new s'oon" You stumble, and he gets up to grab a tissue for you to hold against it, before he walks towards the kitchen table to inspect the spoon you were talking about, running his finger over the edges-

finding a manufacturing error, tiny metal part not rounded properly, sticking out very sharply- so much so that it almost cuts him too.

"We'll wait a little, if it doesn't stop we'll see someone for it, okay?" He asks, moving the tissue a bit to inspect it- noticing that it's not that deep at all. The most challenging part will most likely rather be for you not to lick it constantly- that's gonna be a pain for him to control.

Well, maybe it was for the best that he didn't get the vacation with you.

He'll have to inspect all the cutlery now anyways, before he can let you eat again.

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Sometimes, Jungkook likes to dream.

What would a life be like if he just.. lived normally together with you? If he was just a regular part of this community, and not an officer feared for all the things people in the same uniform have done in the past?

Maybe you wouldn't be so scarred up from knifes and bullets having pierced your skin. Maybe he wouldn't have to wear his own bodymods- maybe you'd both just be normal, and unaware of the horrors human kind can make reality sometimes. But that's not your shared reality- yours is right now, as Jungkook keeps a hold on back straps of your bulletproof vest and harness you wear to hold you back, waiting for the signal to let you inside the house to search for drugs or other illegal substances. They're currently escorting multiple men out the pretty run-down place to make it safer- when he gets the command over his in-ear piece to let you in. "Alright, let's go." He tells you, letting you go so you can immediately run into the house, checking the living room first.

Your hands move the pillows on the couch, eyes frantically moving in concentration, ears moving and tail wagging. He knows it's actually not from excitement, but to 'move' scent around that might've settled somewhere so you can notice it better. Once you catch something, for example, your tail stills as to not disturb the trail, and not interrupt any traces by moving them around.

You're currently on your hands and knees looking beneath the coffee table, before you move again to walk into the next room- the connecting kitchen on the other side of the main entrance hall. It's cluttered, and Jungkook has to watch out as to not slip on any of the trash, gun still drawn in his hand as a safety precaution, just in case. You're tripping a little here and there, looking and sniffing around, tail going left to right at a rapid pace.

You leave the kitchen, make your way upstairs to the bedrooms, entering one of them on the left side. Jungkook follows, notices how your tail suddenly stops, a clear sign that you've picked up something specific. You're supposed to be searching for drugs right now- and so Jungkook watches now with his gun lowered as you look around more specifically, walking one step, evaluating, walking another step, repeat. You're reacting to something, and he wonders what it might be.

Unbeknownst to him, you found something entirely other than drugs.

You're suddenly sitting down in front of a closet, looking over your shoulder towards him, who walks closer to you now, running a hand over your head. "Good job. What's in here?" He asks, pointing before opening, and you reach out to prevent him from doing so.

"RDX." You tell him, and his eyes widen as he helps you up and instantly away from the closet.

"We found something." Jungkook tells into his ear piece, earning the response to clarify what exactly was found. "Highly possibly explosives. Hybrid indication in the upstairs guest bedroom, inside a blue wooden closet." He explains, receiving the response that a bomb squat has been notified to take care of the potential issue, and to get out of the house immediately. Jungkook does just that, taking your hand to rush out, coworkers outside already having evacuated the immediate area.

"Jungkook?" You wonder, and he instantly turns to check up on you, remembering that he did not give you appropriate positive reinforcement either due to the sudden tension of the situation. It's then that you hold out your hand, drop of blood running down from it. "…can I have a plaster maybe?" You ask meekly, and he instantly holds your hand to take a look at the injury.

"How'd that happen pup-.." He somewhat swallows the petname down, hissing a bit at the nasty wound. "Can you move your fingers?" He asks, and you nod, curling them each to show it to him.

"I didn't cut myself- I think my hand got caught on something maybe when I searched the kitchen.." You mumble, ears lowered and tail between your legs.

"Does it hurt?" He asks, well aware that it has to- skin already red and bruised around the cut skin. You shake your head, but once look at him makes your eyes tear up and bottom lip tremble.

Well, down the line, you're also just a living being with thoughts and feelings, and this is also a side that he's come to know about you. The more.. private one, the one that's usually only presented when you're not on duty.

"Alright come on, then, let's wrap something around that for now, okay?" He soothes, smiling softly as he leads you back to the car.

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Considering how fearless you are in the eye of danger, running after any criminal no matter what without any hesitation, Jungkook can't help but laugh a little as you sniffle into his chest, hiding in his sweater now while your wound is getting stitched in the emergency room. You're quietly whimpering while he runs a hand over your back, nurse smiling amused at the whole scene. "Almost done." He soothes, watching how the nurse finishes up the last few stitches before she cleans it again, and wraps it up.

"Alright, there we go!" The nurse says. "Looks like she's gonna get some time off." She smiles, unable to hide her motherly instincts as you look at her with tearful eyes now, pulling your hand towards you now as if to hide it. "It should be fine in a few days, but since it's in a spot that has a lot of movement, I'd say at least for the rest of the week she shouldn't move it too much." She tells Jungkook, who nods.

Back home, and with the knowledge that you'll truly have time off for an entire week, the actual challenges begin. You're not supposed to move your hand, and you know that- but that doesn't mean you won't try and still use it anyways. You're currently climbing on the kitchen counter, attempting to raid the upper cabinet where Jungkook keeps your favorite snacks- but he's quick in his reflexes, tugging you back and putting you down onto the floor again with your feet.

He can't even really be mad at you.

You're not used to being 'home' like this. You don't know the rules, or general manners- that's something you've not been taught, because as a police hybrid, it's not necessary. One of the main reasons why most hybrids in jobs like yours never get to live in a normal home after they get too old or injured to continue their service.

Most stay at special housings, group homes. Jungkook already dreads the day you'll surely have to live in one as well.

"You're not mute. You can ask if you want something." He chuckles, before he's caught off guard when you hug him. Wordlessly so.

You don't talk much, and if you do, mostly only with him. It's always been like that- unfamiliar people make you anxious and quiet you down.

But right now, you're quiet with him too. He can sense there's something you want to ask- but you don't. You just nod, and apologize quietly, before you leave the kitchen to go into your room- leaving the door ajar however. He slowly walks towards it, knocks on it to ask for entrance- and your ears turn towards him at that. "Can I come in?" He wonders, and you nod.

Jungkook isn't in your room very often. He wants to give you as much privacy as he can, treats you like a person and not just a pet or animal. He also wants to keep things professional and has to keep you at a distance at all times, too. It's a tough challenge.

"You seem to have something on your mind." He says, sitting down next to you on the bed, and you just shrug, pulling up your legs to hug them. "Wanna talk about it?" Jungkook asks, and you shake your head.

He respects that. Sometimes, there's just things you want to keep to yourself- just like himself.

"Jungkook?" You ask suddenly, quietly, and he instantly turns towards you to make sure you know you've got his attention. "Why.. didn't you tell me you'll leave soon?" You ask, and his heart drops.

"I don't even know that yet." He tries to justify, but it's clear that it doesn't help.

"But you're pretty sure." You scold him. "I overheard you talking to Taehyung.. you wanna get rid of me before you'll quit." You huff, and he shakes his head at that.

"That's not true." He denies. "I'm not getting rid of you. I just don't want you to end up alone." He sighs.

"..am I not alone already?" You mumble almost incoherently- but he hears it. "I wanna sleep now." You tell him before he can ask you what you mean-

And your statement is a clear way to tell him that you wouldn't even answer him if he asked anyway.

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It's just patrol. Nothing big.

And yet, the silence inside the car is suffocating him.

You're normally always pretty quiet- but you do chat around whenever there's nothing much going on, or if you're on simple patrol duty like today. However, ever since that moment a few days ago in your room, you've been distant- trying to detach yourself from him, it feels like.

He's never noticed just how close you've gotten until now that you've pulled yourselves apart from one another.

"Man, he's speeding." Jungkook mumbles from the driver's seat, while you perk up just to look up front to see what he's seeing.

The guy is in fact speeding, even if it's not too much. But what's more obvious is the swaying- he's missing a taillight already, and the car clearly has issues staying properly on the road. And when he runs over a stop-sign, Jungkook sighs, and turns on his lights to signal the driver to pull over- and the car does so, almost slamming into a street sign as it clumsily parks at the side of the road.

"I'll be right back." He says, before he steps out, leaving you in the trunk area that's cut off from the backseats by metal bars to keep you safe from people he potentially needs to transport. "Stay alert." Is the last thing he says, before he walks towards the car for a routine check.

Probably a drunk driver. Maybe drugs involved- you'll most likely be taken out for a search in a few minutes, and then you'll clock out an hour later.

But then you hear commotion- Jungkook shouting, and you instantly go into high alert, looking through the metal bars to see him arguing with a tall man who's clearly agitated about something. And then, everything happens so fast that you can't even process it quick enough.

A shot, clear as day, Jungkook running towards the car, opening the trunk where you're in, before he barks out for you to get him- the man running off into a field that you instantly follow after.

You can't really think much about what might've happened where the cars are still parked. You've got tunnel vision, legs keeping you running as fast as you can as you chase the man through the field, trying hard not to lose sight of him.

Unaware that the man is still armed.

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"Did she get him?" Jungkook asks in the hospital, as Seokjin arrives to pick him up. The shot had grazed his body mods and made him lose balance and feeling in his legs and hands- so it had to be fixed in a minor surgery, leaving him mostly unconscious for the past two days.

"Yeah- he was arrested, is awaiting trial. Was terribly wasted and on meth." He offers dryly, causing Jungkook to become suspicious.

"Did.. she sleep at the station while I was gone?" He asks, but he doesn't get an answer until he pulls his coworkers shoulder to make him face him. "Where is she?" He asks, and Seokjin sighs.

"Just focus on healing right now, kook-" He starts, but Jungkook shakes his head, face angry.

"I'm perfectly fine, now answer me." He demands. "Where is she?"

"She got hurt." Seokjin admits. "She's.. in hospital right now, but she'll be fine."

"What happened?" He urges once again. "Seokjin, what fucking happened?" He asks, but the officer refuses to answer, not until Jungkook speaks up again in the car later, on the way to his house. "How bad?" He lowly questions.

"They're not sure." Jin finally comes clean. "If you want, you can see her once she's allowed to have visitors. I can offer you to review the body cam footage too, just to.. prepare yourself." He sighs.

"I should've never let her out." Jungkook runs a hand over his face. "I should've waited for backup-"

"There's no use in that now." Jin offers. "Things happen. It was a stressful situation, you couldn't have known. Things quite literally happened in the span of minutes." He reassures him. "And she did the same. She thought about getting the job done, and she did." He says.

"..so she did catch him?" Jungkook asks.

"Absolutely. Held him down.. well, despite her situation." Jin nods almost proudly. "Jungkook." He takes a deep breath, sighs as he parks in front of the younger man's house. "She.. might not return into service. "

Jungkook doesn't move, eyes becoming distant. He's not sure how bad it must be- but he can assume it by this sentence alone. If you're not returning to service, that the damage done must've been severe.

"Keep your head up, robo-cop." Seokjin pats Jungkook's back- not too much, since he's still recovering. "She's a tough cookie. She'll make it." He tries to reassure.

And Jungkook nods-

hoping he's gonna be right about that.

[cecilysass]

Undercover Smolder Mulder: Pine Bluff Variant Fic Recs

I'd describe Pine Bluff Variant as a low key fan favorite, an episode that I even feel like appreciation has grown for over the years. Oh sure, it doesn’t get the fan love that a Memento Mori or Pusher might, but we sure do see those Mulder Scully intense looks gifs popping up pretty often, right? Plus, it has partner trust angst, undercover intrigue, hurt/comfort, genuine thriller-style suspense, and serious MSR overtones.

I like PBV for all of those reasons obviously, but also because it feels like the show going with a slightly different tone. Starting from its action-based, FBI operation cold open, we know this is more conspiracy / bioterrorist thriller than classic X-file. Yes, there’s a sci fi component to the biotoxin--and the scenes that reveal its victims have a horror feel--but this episode just isn’t as much about the supernatural. It also raises the interesting--and nowadays more pointed--question: aren’t anti-government groups operating under their own rules sometimes potentially as dangerous as the government itself?

TXF tried several kinds of experiments in its later seasons, in production and structure of show (Triangle or X-Cops), in exploring all kinds of playful, self-aware and satirical comedy (lots of season 6, Hollywood A.D., etc.), in making drastic moves with its mytharc (One Son, Requiem, etc). Going in the direction of a more purely action-suspense thriller for a MOTW wasn’t something they ever tried again (that I can think of anyway). And I think that's kind of a shame? It feels like a good change up. Different without messing too much with the show’s basic DNA.

Not to mention, y'all, Scully thinks he betrayed her! And there's the scene with the finger! And Mulder thinks he's going to die! There's so much good stuff here!

Here is a list of Pine Bluff Variant fic recs. (As usual, I really think there should be more. This episode has sooooo many openings. You should write some.)

Calling Bluffs - mangokiwitropicalswirl An angsty little post ep that doesn’t flinch from the way coming close to death affects Mulder (or Scully). It also raises the question of how much their bond always puts them at risk. Moving ending.

Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One Before - pinebluffvariant Immediately post ep, Scully protects Mulder. There is some satisfying hurt/comfort. But what really shines in this fic is the ending, which ties a nice bow on season 5 and kicks me in the feels. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, indeed: sniff.

Passing Solace - DarlaBlack An intensely romantic NC-17 scene set in the middle of the episode, focused on their deep care and need for one another. Beautifully written.

All of This (around) Us - secondsflat In this sweet fic they share whiskey before Scully sets his finger bone, and Scully voices her frustration at not knowing about his undercover work. An intimate, atmospheric little scene.

Snakebitten - onpaperfirst This is a riff on all of season 5 written with great skill and subtlety. So, so good. It’s canon divergent in that it seeds the Pine Bluff Variant / New Spartans storyline back earlier in the season—and it has more RST. Such a treat.

Postcards Slipped Under the Door - skuls Two years after Pine Bluff Variant, some time after the events of En Ami in season 7, Mulder begins receiving ominous postcards from the New Spartans, suggesting they have regrouped. Skinner and Scully think it’s too dangerous for him to get involved in the case again, so Scully goes instead. This is hard on Mulder, as they’re in a recently begun relationship. Angsty, plot-driven, satisfying.

[gilverrwrites]

STOP WAIT THE TIM DRAKE WITH SIONIS!READER THAT WAS AMAZING

love academic rivals to lovers frfr

anyway but tim is also canonically a high school drop out so sionis!reader finishing school without him (technically dropped out when bruce went missing) 💀 idk why but with roman hating the wayne clan so much, I could see it being kept secret.

like a cute little forbidden fruit/secret relationship. robin & the daughter of the most notorious crime lord in the city?? jeez and you wanna ask why bruce/roman are paranoid /hj

but it's them sneaking around and then tim obviously leaves for his search for batman, dropping out of school, and it leaves sionis!reader all alone.

and then tim comes back!! and bruce is back but bruce doesn't really matter to them(reader), because tim left without a word, without a goodbye, and now he's back and I can imagine all the changes between that happened in that year he was too, the angst of him coming back.

like, would they try to find tim? would they try to go to wayne manor and figure out what the hell happened? I feel like it opens the door to possibilities between them

Hang in there, this is a real rambley ramble.

Ngl, I was picturing it for when he went to Ivy (which he also dropped out of lmao), and I like the idea of them being upfront about it for the comedy/reluctant acceptance angle, but there is still the potential for drama. However, I can see the appeal of them keeping it totally secret too (I'm gonna talk about that later in the post).

For now, heres my vision: You’re Romans favourite kid, his perfect lil angel child, the only one who wants anything to do with him so he dotes on you (to the extent that Roman can dote on anyone) and you go to him one day like; “I get perfect grades, I never miss curfew, I help with the family business, I never ask you for anything, PLEASE accept my boyfriend.” And at first `Roman’s just like… “No.”

Queue the “But Daddy I love him!” tantrum.

Unlike with Jason, Roman has never had any strong feelings toward Tim other than a general distaste cause of the Wayne association, so eventually he tries to come around, but it’s just awkward, and Tim hates it too cause he know your dad is Black Mask, and he can’t do anything without risking being exposed as Red Robin or upsetting you by causing a scene/fight. Is it to much to ask for the two most important men in your life to get along for one dinner? Please?

So, every time they meet the vibes are just off. However, they’re both trying really hard to get along cause they love you.

One night Tim unintentionally catches Black Mask red-handed and he can’t not do his job. The whole time they're fighting, Tim has this whole internal monologue going on about whether he should let Roman off with a warning for your sake, but eventually he’s like WWBD?

So, he hands Roman over to the authorities and the next day he sees you and your bawling! Inconsolable! Your dad is going to prison, your life is ruined. You’re also a bit of drama queen but validly tbh, what will this do for your social standings? Your college applications? Your career aspirations? Fuck Red Robin, you hate that guy!

You were raised by Roman Sionis, of course your inherited at least a little of his melodromatic genes.

Even though you're distressed Tim can’t keep from being like ‘You're mad at the wrong person here! Red Robin is the good guy! You're dad is the criminal, he wouldn't have been arrested if he wasn't a bad person! Who does bad things! He needs to face justice!”

It becomes a massive-ass argument until you’re like “Why can’t you be normal about this? I love my dad and this is going to have a huge effect on my life, why can’t you just be upset for me?”

Tim doesn’t have an answer cause the answer is "I'm Red Robin" but fuck that guy, right? The whole issue goes unresolved.

Or maybe he does snap and tell you the truth but that just makes things worse! "You're my boyfriend and you arrested my father! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"

When you visit him at Blackgate, your father is quietly elated by the break up, he doesn’t say as much. He plays the concerned father, offers you comfort. He reminds you that when he killed lost his parents, it started a new age of loyalty amonst the Sionis clan. As long as you're good to your family (him), it will be good to you. Oh, and btw, he needs you to handle a few things while he's gone. Don't worry, your family pisses money, he'll be out of here in no time but this stuff is important and time sensitive, and he needs you to keep it on the down low.

The next time you see Tim, he’s Red Robin and you’re the one he catches in the act.

Also, Tim telling that Bat-Fam “So yeah, I’m seeing someone new, it’s Y/N Sionis.” And everyone looks at Steph for a second, then back to Tim and is like “Dude! Get a new type!”

Also also, you visit the Wayne family for the first time, and after growing up drilled to hate these people you’re lowkey so nervous. You’re expecting them to hate you, because you learned nothing from presuming the same thing about Tim. The youngest one is definitely scary, and the butler must be convinced you’re gonna steal something because he will not allow you to be left alone (he’s remembering teenage Roman hanging out with teenage Bruce and being the worst), but otherwise everyone is actually kinda chill. Maybe a bit overly polite but not unpleasant.

But I can totally see the appeal of them keeping it totally secret too. Especially if Tim tells you about being Red Robin. How it might force you to come to terms with your morality by enabling your father/not holding him accountable. Major existential crisis material.

Of if he doesn’t tell you, the angst of your boyfriend just up and leaving without a word, not responding to your calls, texts, emails.

When he does come back you’ve ‘moved on’. Or you thought you had until you saw him again. But after he left you high and dry you’re fuming, and won’t allow him to just walk skate back into your life.

Tim pining after you while you’re excelling in your college/job pursuit. You keep catching glimpses of Red Robin while you’re out on dates or visiting your dad. Tim tells himself he’s just vetting your new boyfriends or ensuring your dad isn’t up to no good. But really its because he’s missed you and doesn’t know how to make up for cutting you out of his life.

He also notices how you never bring your dates home. How you still bury yourself in his old hoodie at night. How you haven’t finished binge watching that show the two of you were working on together. Those little nuggets of hope are what keeps him hanging on.

[diminuel]

Bringing in the angst!

I always loved the idea of Doffy being a Girl Dad. IDK why, I just do, I think there’s a lot to do with the concept of how Doffy would spoil his kid ¯\_(ツ)_/¯; but also the angst idea of his daughter resembling his mother.

Bring on all the memories of guilt and shame deep, deep, very deep within the surface of his actions when Doffy looks at his daughter’s smile and he sees his mother.

Angst~ ♥

I've drawn a daughter for Doffy, Mini-Mingo (I still haven't settled on a name *lol*) and even though she wasn't raised by him, I think the angst potential there might even be better?

Because while there's comedy in him just having absolutely no idea that they're related, the idea that he acts like he has no idea because he has not processed anything that has happened appeals to me to. He has no faith in blood ties, it's all just pain and misery to him. The fuel that keeps the hate and rage going. But there's no comfort in it.

And then the kid looks so much like his mom. He's not dealing with that. It's easier to just not think about it.

[yuri-is-online]

Been brainrotting lately and now I present to you what I think is an underused story beat for Yuu. What if “Yuu” isn’t even the prefect’s real name?

Considering that Yuu’s first experience in Twisted Wonderland is waking up in a coffin, wandering around an obviously foreign place, and being questioned by a suspicious man in a crow mask surrounded by people in black hooded robes… I just think most people would not give their real name in such a sketchy situation.

Fast forward to when Yuu is more comfortable with the cast and there is both comedy and angst potential here. On one hand, the reactions to the deception could be pretty funny. (Cue a “woe is me” from Crowley. Of course he can’t find a way home for you when he doesn’t have your real name!) On the other, this could be a great way of exploring the prefect having a crisis. Yuu already lost so much in being taken to Twisted Wonderland, and now in a way even the prefect’s name has been taken.

What do you think?

waking up in a coffin, wandering around an obviously foreign place, and being questioned by a suspicious man in a crow mask surrounded by people in black hooded robes…

Annon, annon, annon, when you put it like that it sounds like Yuu woke up in the middle of a cult ritual of some sort. Which I suppose if you were an edgy Night Raven student idia you might argue that the enrollment ceremony totally is as an excuse not to go

But to be more serious, I have seen a few memes about this concept and I like it a lot σ(￣、￣=) It's a fun character concept, it's not everyday you get a chance to re-invent yourself completely.

That being said, just based off of the few dialogue options Yuu has at the start, I think Yuu is implied to believe that they are dreaming:

Which honestly doesn't make this idea any less valid. If you're dreaming about waking up in the middle of some weird necromancer's rite, why not give him a fake name? It's not meant to be serious anyway. Just go with the flow and hope things don't get too weird (and get offended when your dream doesn't give you magic powers) until it's too late and you realize everyone thinks your name really is that bad joke you made.

If you want to get darker, maybe Yuu really did think they died. A black carriage pulling a coffin really only goes to a funeral, and death has been depicted as an unmanned coach with black horses. Maybe Yuu is only just coming to grips with the fact that they really are alive when they see Riddle overblot and he hurts them. Maybe they now are sitting next to two people who have started to think about them as a friend, a really close one. Maybe they think Yuu is really brave because they charged headlong into danger without a second thought, and won, twice now. Maybe Yuu cries themselves to sleep that night because in a way... you died so yuu could live.

As for reactions, Crowley and the other staff members I think would be the most dramatic, followed by Adeuce and Grim. Jack I can see accepting your reasons and not thinking too hard about it, maybe even respecting your survival instincts, while Epel... well he says he's mad but mostly he's just concerned. He knows what it feels like to have two dueling parts of yourself and trying to find the middle ground. Ortho would be excited, you have a secret identity just like a magical girl/super sentai/anime idol/superhero take your pick really. He certainly doesn't mind getting to know you all over again.

Sebek screams at you for being a threat to Wakasama but it's clear to everyone who actually knows him that he's really just worried about the amount of stress you put on yourself. He would hate for you to have the same issues with self loathing he does. And Malleus? Well he lied to you about who he was because he was worried you would be afraid, even though you didn't know he existed. It would be very petty for him to hold a grudge against you for doing the same.

In general I think this would be something the others would have an easier time understanding as opposed to Yuu's sense of alienation or loneliness at not having magic. Identity issues are common themes in fiction, so I could see them actually seeing it as a problem as opposed to an abstract problem like no government papers (since these kids with one obvious exception don't do taxes.) But it would make for a great way to explore the prefect having a crisis just as you say, in a way it's the perfect example for every problem they might have with being in Twisted Wonderland.

[teecupangel]

Hey tee want to hear an absolutely horrific Desmond idea that just popped in my head? Of course you do.

(tw though for a bunch of stuff about dead bodies so if that's a squick you can delete this message without reading the rest.)

At one point in The Hollows book series, the protagonist encounters a high-power magic entity that can possess the recently dead in order to communicate directly with mortals.

What if a Desmond whose body is destroyed by the aurora device and he ends up adrift in the Grey for an unknowable amount of time

until he gravitates, without meaning to, to points in his ancestral history where there is a suitable vessel for him to inhabit?

The rules surrounding this:

1) The vessel he occupies must be recently deceased, within about two hours.

2) How long he can stay in a body is affected by how complex the life form is. Humans are the longest at 12hrs.

3) The time limit is expressed by the body slowly turning to ash and dust, until it reaches a critical point and can no longer hold itself together, at which point it basically disintegrates.

4) Those with Eagle Vision inherently know on looking at a body occupied by Desmond that it is Desmond. If he is occupying a human body, he will seem to them to resemble what he looked like when he was alive.

//

more assorted thoughts:

Desmond isn't limited to a linear timeline. He gets drawn back to the Grey every time his body dissolves, from which theoretically any point in time can be accessed.

I like the idea though that at least at first, he doesn't have control over where he goes. In addition to trying to figure out how this whole thing works, he's just popping up in the most random/useless of times.

He can visit any time and place he has an ancestral connection to, whether or not he unlocked those memories while he was still alive. There just needs to be a suitable vessel nearby. And, well. Pretty much every assassin ancestor has plenty of opportunity for that.

Also, jumping off rule 3 above, Desmond isn't like...so him needing to possess a vessel is basically like, needing to anchor himself to something Present. And what he's anchoring to isn't even the body exactly, it's the memory of life. Which is why more complex things anchor him longer, they have a more substantial memory of life/concept of self/their existence.

So as he's burning through the body, he's holding it together through his own force of will more and more, until the memory is burnt out and will alone isn't enough.

An interesting effect then is that the body's death blows don't affect what he's able to do in it, but lifelong conditions do, when he first possesses it. If a person's eyes were gouged out to kill them, Desmond can still see in the body, because the memory of life still remembers having eyes, even though the physical eyes are ruined. But if Desmond possessed someone who had been blind for years, he wouldn't be able to see, because the memory of life doesn't conceptualize itself as a seeing being. As the memory faded and it became more about Desmond holding himself together, he'd regain some of his sight.

Funny enough, this means that while non-human bodies tend to be of limited usefulness, there is a period toward the end of the possession where he can speak and communicate with people, even if he's like. A mouse. Because at the very end it's more his concept of self establishing what the body can do than the mouse's.

.

For real though just imagine with me how freaked out his ancestors would be when some of their kills randomly sit back up and start talking. Like. You never know when or where Zombie Desmond will appear, but it will probably be at the least convenient of times and everyone will scream.

I love this idea because of the sheer angst potential.

Like, sure, we can go down the horror comedy route and I’m all for it since I love that genre.

But just imagine Desmond possessing one of the Auditore’s bodies while Ezio was trying to bury them. Ezio’s horrified outrage at the idea that some kind of entity was possessing his younger brother. Desmond didn’t mean to possess Petruccio’s body, he still can’t control this, Ezio- “Shut up!”

It’s definitely the worst kind of first meeting.

And Desmond doesn’t know if this was worse or better than his first meeting with Altaïr.

Because with Altaïr, Desmond screwed up so badly by possessing Adha’s dead body, giving Altaïr a false sense of hope that he wasn’t too late.

Unlike Ezio’s grief and rage, the way Altaïr’s face completely shut down was much more worrying to Desmond because he has no idea what that silence was supposed to mean.

Even when Desmond apologizes and promises that he didn’t mean to, Altaïr simply ignored all of these and just asked Desmond what he was and what he wanted.

The worst part of this entire thing is that Desmond doesn’t even know what he wanted.

And then there was Ratonhnhaké:ton.

Desmond didn’t even know if Ratonhnhaké:ton hated him or not.

Because the first time Desmond possessed someone in Ratonhnhaké:ton’s time, he was getting the hang of all of these.

And he was able to save Kaniehtí:io, sure.

By possessing a child who had recently died. A child that Ratonhnhaké:ton knew by name. He had probably been playing with that child a few hours ago before Desmond possessed their corpse.

… and Desmond spent weeks in that body with only Ratonhnhaké:ton knowing that he wasn’t his friend.

Ratonhnhaké:ton probably didn’t trust him.

But hey…

At least he didn’t possessed Kaniehtí:io or something.

That would have been so awkward.

The new problem Desmond had was that…

Well…

He just possessed some naked dude in the middle of some sort of island.

“Jeezus!”

And he has no idea who this dark blond haired man that smelled of salt and rum was supposed to be.

But from the looks of things…

He was wearing what may or may not be Assassin robes belonging to the dead body he was now occupying.

[itsclydebitches]

There are a lot of Tedependent fics where Ted needs to first realize that he's bi/interested in Trent before the love confession can occur (which are GREAT) but recently my mind has been laughing about the opposite. That is, an out, proud, fully confident, divorced, not-as-much-of-a-mess-as-he-used-to-be Ted who is remarkably chill about potentially starting a relationship. God he loves Trent so much why wouldn't he ask him out?? What's he got to lose? Dating Trent? He's already not doing that!

Now pair that with a Classic Angst Trent who is 100% convinced of every fandom trope under the sun. Ted Lasso is definitely straight. He's definitely still in love with his wife. Even if he were open to men he definitely would never be interested in him. The idea of them dating is so absurd that Trent is thinking of writing the Oxford English Dictionary to get their picture set next to the definition. He's writing sappy poetry about the unrequited love story of the century. He's keeping every workplace interaction capital 'p' Platonic in deference to white straight male sensibilities. He's thinking of asking Beard to set up a new identity for when Ted realizes The Lasso Way is just a wordy love letter.

This boy is in D E N I A L.

Thus begins the intense comedy of errors when unstoppable force Ted meets immovable object Trent. How far do we take it? Well, what's your preferred amount of crack?

Ted takes him to a super romantic, candlelit dinner? Ted is so unbelievably nice to everyone. This would be amazing if it were a date :(

Ted says "I love you"? Trent's so proud of the culture of love and support Ted has brought to Richmond, but FUCK does hearing those words do things to him. If only he meant it in the way Trent wanted.

Ted wants him to move in? Well, Trent supposes he does need a roommate to keep up with London prices now that he's a single parent, but did the universe have to throw him together with his crush?

Both of them, seconds after Ted has proposed and Trent stuttered through a yes:

Ted: Hot damn I'm gonna marry the love of my life!! :D

Trent: Ted's temporary visa must be running out. This is torture, but I'd do anything for him while feeling like an absolute villain for taking advantage of his vulnerable state for my own emotional gratification 😭

Meanwhile:

Roy: When the fuck do we tell him?

Beard: Right before he walks down the aisle. I dropped that bombshell about Ted's mustache right before he married Michelle. Trent deserves one too.

[yourbustedkneecaps]

if you really want peter to live with tony don’t kill may you meanie :’(

make their apartment explode or something instead so they have to live with him or whatever. do you know how much comedy/angst potential that has? another alternative is just have a may x pepper x tony thing going on while peter is 100% unawares

cmon guys let’s get creative

[suzdin]

Washed Up Has-Been: a Dieter Bravo one shot

Dieter Bravo x F!Plus Size!Reader

Warnings: soft!Dieter, sweet!Dieter, smut, angst, bodily insecurities, reader is plus sized but no other physical attributes are described, Dieter is a little chubby as well, mentions of drugs and alcohol, oral (m receiving), mention of sex toys, fluff? (gasp!), did I forget anything? I know next to nothing about the film industry, don’t judge me :(

Word Count: 2,800

Enjoy and feel free to reblog and comment if you wish! 💜🙂

——

Dieter Bravo had not been the same since Cliff Beasts 6.

What did they call it? Losing your spark? Your mojo? Your moxy? Whatever it was called, he’d lost it, along with his marbles… if he ever had any to begin with, and he was sure many would agree he hadn’t.

The reviews were bad, abhorrent, really. ‘Dieter Bravo as Gio Ricci baffling’, ‘Bravo couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag’, ‘I can’t believe this man has an Oscar’, ‘Did he get his Italian accent at an Olive Garden?’, on and on the critics wailed and lambasted.

He’d had a mental break shortly after the premier, firing everyone he could in his vicinity — his publicist, his hair stylist and manicurist, hell, even his agent of twenty five years. He’d hired a new one, of course, a potential script FedExed to his door that morning, fist curled and white knuckled in anger around the thick stack of papers as he perched himself like a sentient gargoyle on his couch, in the tattered clothes he’d been wearing for nearly a week.

A dad. They wanted him to play a fucking dad, some sort of buddy comedy family film opposite Dwayne Johnson, it might be a good move for your career, buddy, his agent had explained. But seriously, him? Hollywood heart throb Dieter Bravo, reduced to playing someone’s bumbling father, opposite THE FUCKING ROCK?

He couldn’t believe it.

He had put on some weight since his last film, sure, but that was no reason or excuse to allow himself to be typecasted as a dad.

Or was it the ever persistent graying in his hair and beard? The laugh lines? The crow’s feet?

‘Dieter Bravo is a washed up has-been’ the internet screamed at him daily, leading him to drown himself in an endless stream of drugs and alcohol…more so than he was already doing, anyway.

He was barely a functioning person. A husk of his former self, he could no longer get it up, unsure whether to blame the drugs or his steadily fleeting mental health, and even putting brush to canvas felt more like a chore than an escape nowadays. He’d become a hermit in his own home, the ghastly, aging 1970s mid-century horror he resided in the Hollywood Hills, that he thought was amazing when he originally bought it a decade ago.

Well, much like him, older things fall apart, and the house was a piece of shit, which was apt.

He had hired you as his assistant and he was so vague as to what that entailed that you were sort of a jack of all trades as far as helping was concerned, acting as his maid, his cook, the middle man to screen his calls, his emails, so on and so forth. Hell, you even took care of the large python he’d bought ‘because it looked cool’, that he was now too scared to touch, himself.

You did it all, and although he never properly expressed as much, he was more grateful for you than he let on.

He always found you pretty, too. Beautiful, even, and not in the fake way he’d grown used to, living in Hollywood. You were kind, sweet, and uncorrupted by a crueler world, always happy and eager to assist him with whatever he needed.

And if he was being honest with himself, the thought of you sheathed around his cock was the only thing that could even get him half hard anymore.

When you arrive for the day, you find him on his couch, glowering at what you can only assume is another bad script, graying hair disheveled and curling away from his skull, teeth gritted in disdain. A look you had come to recognize and were more than familiar with.

“Let me take that to the garbage for you,” you offer, as you normally do in these situations, stepping forward to reach for the offending script.

His eyes clock the way your breasts sway when you walk, the roundness of your belly, the plushness of your arms. He can’t help but stare; he wants to bury himself in you and stay there forever.

He swallows, moving the script away from your extended hand and tucking it behind a cushion, distracted by your body.

“No — no, it’s okay,” he replies and his voice feels like gravel in his throat, realizing he hasn’t spoken all day until now.

Although the script sucks and he doesn’t want to do it, he needs the money. “Thanks.”

You notice his eyes on you and you sit, leaving about a foot of space between you to maintain a modicum of professionalism, observing the sadness behind his dark brown eyes and knowing this has been the norm for several months now but still hating it for what it is.

“What’s on the docket for today?” you ask him and he shrugs, unhelpfully, his lips pulled into a frown, shadows staining the lines of his face. You haven’t seen him this bad in a while.

“I can… make you some hot tea?” you ask, looking down at the schedule in your lap, of which nothing is jotted down for the day.

He shakes his head, carding a hand through his hair. “No. I’m out of tea.”

You chew your lip. “Okay… well, then I guess I’m running to the store today. I have a list already, but can you think of anything else?”

Once again, he shakes his head. “No. I’ll just order it or something.”

You frown and tuck the schedule away, crossing your legs and turning to face him, contemplative.

“Then what do you want me to do today? You’re paying me to be here,” you note. “Unless you’d rather I go home.”

“No!” he damn near shouts, making you jump, and he immediately regrets his lack of impulse control. His gaze traverses your subtle cleavage and you clear your throat, heat warming your skin. “Sorry, it’s just… I don’t want to be alone right now. Can we just hang out?” he queries.

“Dieter, are you okay?” you question and he shakes his head in response.

“No.” A single word that says so much more than that. It pulls at your heart strings, seeing him like this. “I — I’m a nobody.”

“You aren’t a nobody, you’re Oscar winner Dieter fucking Bravo,” you counter, and he snorts, picking at some dry skin on his ankle.

“Yeah, Dieter fucking Bravo, the aging has-been who can’t act his way out of a paper bag,” he snorts.

“If you keep talking like that, I’m going to take away your internet access so you can’t read all the mean tweets about yourself,” you threaten.

“You wouldn’t.”

“One call to your financial advisor and I would and could,” you retort and Dieter scoffs, trying to remember if he’d fired him yet or not.

You cross your arms and flop back against the worn and flattened couch cushions, eyeing him smugly.

The movement pushes your chest up and out, his gaze on you once again and he isn’t subtle about it this time. You clear your throat and stir, staring back at his soft, plush lips.

“Dieter—“

“Come here,” he murmurs quietly and the spontaneity of it catches you off guard, your jaw hanging agape in disbelief and confusion.

“…What?”

It had been months since anyone had touched him, had wanted to touch him, and now, as he stares at your body and smells your light vanilla perfume, after the shitty week he’s had, he needs to be touched, even if only briefly.

“Come… here,” he repeats, more dogged than before, and in spite of yourself, despite how unprofessional it is, you find yourself scooting forward.

He grabs your hips when you’re within reach and drags you the rest of the way, pulling the cushion partially off the couch in the process, a small yelp of surprise escaping your lungs as he softly grips your face to bring his lips to yours.

They’re plush, dry, lightly chapped and he tastes a little like whiskey and weed, but you don’t really mind, his coarse, wiry mustache scratching and tickling against your nose.

Suddenly, with a soft groan in the back of his throat, his hand is under your shirt, cupping your breast, and you break the kiss, looking down to where his arm disappears beneath the fabric, shock settling over your features.

“Dee… are you… are you sure?” you ask. You don’t exactly look like the people Dieter had been confirmed dating in the past, and you feel a wave of trepidation, your self conscious nature bubbling to the surface. You’ve always felt Dieter Bravo was more than a little out of your league.

Not that you’re dating him, but, you know.

“I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t sure,” he tuts and kisses you again, rougher this time, palming your breast, making your cunt throb.

He groans. You’re so good to him, always taking such good care of him, and you feel exactly the way he thought you would, warm and luscious and supple, his dick already fighting with the seam of his pajama pants, the first time in weeks.

And you’ve wanted this, too, as long as you’ve worked for him, never confessing your feelings for fear of losing your job. You never imagined Dieter fucking Bravo would feel the same way about you.

You know Dee needs this, you need this, and you want to make him feel good.

You brush a hand over his hardening cock and he damn near bucks himself straight off the couch with a grunt and a sharply uttered, “Fuck” against your lips. You grin into his mouth at how much composure he’s already lost from so few touches.

You pull away after a moment and scoot off the couch, sinking onto your knees in front of him, nestling yourself between his broad thighs.

He watches you, rigid cock tremoring in his pants at the sight, the outline of it clearly visible and straining against the fabric. “You… you don’t have to…” His voice is thick, haggard.

“Let me take care of you, Dee,” you mewl as you nuzzle your face against the squishy paunch of his stomach, lifting his shirt to plant small, reverent kisses in a circle around his belly button. He giggles and flinches at the contact.

“Sorry, sorry — ticklish,” he explains and you smile, placing a few more kisses there, more delicate than the ones that preceded them, trailing a line from his navel to the thick swathe of hair leading to his crotch.

Despite the pounds he’s put on recently, he doesn’t feel at all uncomfortable in front of you, eyes darkening as he drinks you in visually, lips tight and parted, breaths growing deeper in the barrel of his chest.

You look up and from your current perspective, he’s all wild haired and broad shouldered, panting, your cunt clenching with desire as you eye him with a wry grin.

You smooth his shirt down over his belly and move your face to the hard bulge below, nosing the bulk of it through the fabric and inhaling his natural scent, thick and musky and masculine in your nostrils. You both groan in unison.

“Dear god,” he grunts, “I feel like I’m about to— aaaaugh— fucking bust already.”

“Save it for my mouth, at least,” you snip and his head rolls back against the cushion at your words, the one with the sag in the middle where his neck always rests, eyes sliding shut.

“You’re so good for me,” he pants softly, already so close to falling apart, “I take you for granted and I’m sorry.”

“Dieter, shh.” You find the stretchy waistband of his striped trousers and drag them down his hips, not all surprised to see he’s gone commando, cock springing free from the cage of fabric, uncut and dribbling against the drag of soft cotton. He’s girthy, and you’ve never seen one intact in the flesh before — literally — a small puff of air escaping your lips, taking in the sight of him for a few seconds before coming to your senses.

“Is everything alr—“ he starts to ask, cutting himself off when you unexpectedly cup his heavy balls in your palm and lick a slow stripe up his length with the flat of your tongue, his hips quivering and bucking involuntarily. “Shit—“

You grin, humming satisfactorily to yourself and continue to tease him, his hands finding your hair, fingers twisting at the roots as the rings he insists on wearing get caught in the strands, pulling ever so slightly. You moan.

You feel incredible, your tongue working his most sensitive areas, and he’s having a hard time holding it together, torso heaving above you, tiny whimpers departing his lips, and he hasn’t even entered your mouth yet.

You sense how much trouble he’s having at keeping himself in check, so you back off a touch to give him a momentary reprieve, shifting to kiss along the meat of his inner thighs, nipping at the tiny elephant tattoos etched into his skin as you do so.

He cups one hand on the back of your neck, watching you through half-lidded eyes, your lips like pure velvet and heaven.

He’s already forgotten about the shitty script tucked into the couch, about the bad reviews and the critics with their cruel, baseless quips. Faded away to nothingness, akin to what he experiences when he’s completely blitzed, negative thoughts dissolving to the back of his mind to be discarded, and for now, for the moment, the only thing that matters is you, your beauty, and how well you take care of him.

After what seems like an eternity of small, worshipping, teasing touches to the insides of his thighs and the rim of his belly, your lips return to his cock, lapping at the precum that’s beaded up at the slit before taking him into your mouth, hand fisted at the base as you work him into your throat.

He’s impervious at this point to keep his hips flush against the couch, shuddering into your mouth as you take him and pushing further down your throat, not entirely on purpose, moaning as the wet heat of your mouth engulfs him.

“Wanna— fuck your pussy next time— with a vibrating plug in your ass,” he grunts, hardly able to string a single cohesive thought together, making your cunt throb and slick leak into the cradle of your panties.

Dieter wasn’t one to shy away from toys, and in fact had an entire drawer full of them, which you had accidentally stumbled upon one day when putting away some of his clothes; everything from butt plugs to cock rings to flesh lights with multiple attachments and bondage gear.

You steady his hips with your hands and hold him in place as best you can, difficult with how much stronger he is than you, jaw stretching to fit him, the musky tang of him flooding your tastebuds.

You steadily rock your head up and down his length, taking him all the way to the back of your throat, and you can feel the veins running the length of his shaft pulsating against your tongue, feel the way his balls tighten as he edges ever closer to the precipice.

He’s wanted you, needed you, for so long, that he can’t contain himself much longer. His hips begin to stutter and you feel his body growing taut, hear his breaths growing shallow and haggard, fingers curling against your scalp.

“I’m… I’m gonna… fucking cum,” he grunts deep in his chest. That’s all the warning he allows before his hips stall and he lets out a visceral growl of pleasure, spilling a hot and heavy load across your tongue, some of it seeping out at the edges and dribbling down his thighs until you’re able to steady yourself.

You hold him in your mouth until you feel the very last drop hit the back of your throat, slowly pulling off only when you feel him starting to go soft.

“You should really clean up this awful mess you’ve made,” Dieter taunts when you sit back to catch your breath, watching the cocktail of spend and saliva slide down his tan skin.

You grin and tip your head forward to obediently lap at the escaped fluids. He groans as he savors the delicious sight of you, affectionately brushing his fingers through your hair as you do so.

After a moment, you rise from the ground, your knees cracking from the exertion, joining him on the couch as he tugs his pajama bottoms back up his hips.

He snakes an arm around the small of your back and kisses you, deep and full, moaning when he tastes remnants of himself on your tongue.

He grins against your lips and then rises, yanking you off the couch and giggling along with you when you pass him a perplexed look.

“Where are we going now?” you ask, pleased to see him happy and relaxed again after all this time, to actually see him smiling.

“You took care of me, so I’m going to take care of you. You’re familiar with my special drawer, aren’t you?”

—

FIN. xx