#pretend like i wasn't gone for months..
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komoboko ยท 1 month ago
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๐ก๐š๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ซ๐š ๐ญ๐ž๐ฑ๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ก๐œ๐ฌ
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ft: Gyomei Himejima, Sanemi Shinazugawa, Obanai Iguro, Giyu Tomioka, Mitsuri Kanroji, Muichiro Tokito, Kyojuro Rengoku, shinobu Kocho, Tengen Uzui
hi i forgot i have a tumblr account this was an unfinished drafts so i just decided to finish dis
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# gyomei ! โ˜†
GYOMEI canโ€™t really text, he canโ€™t even read your text.. the only time he has is when muichiro came over and read the text for him. You were then hit with a very long and dragged out voice message about what he did today, how he loves you and asks you to come by and visit his estate. You appreciated it but that was the first and last time you texted gyomei.
# sanemi ! โ˜†
A bit of a dry texter if I had to be honest with you. Not completely that its annoying but SANEMI isn't super energetic either.. that's only if you can properly get him to text you. He's rarely on his phone and when he is he rarely ever goes out of his way to read or respond to anybody's text messages. Luckily Sanemi "waste his time" in his words and actually responds to you and on the rare occasion hits you with a "i love you" instead of calling you dumb.
# obanai ! โ˜†
Another very very dry texter, excepts OBANAI actually answers your text messages. Sometimes. He loves using those text reactions instead of sending a proper message, or other times he just uses "๐Ÿ‘" instead. When he does text its always to remind you of something or asks you a question he would rather say online. There are those times where he blames kaburamaru for slithering over his keyboard when he sends you a heartfelt message.
# giyu! โ˜†
Is much much much worse than sanemi when it comes to not texting people. You rarely if ever get a proper text message from him, to the point you question if he even owns a phone. GIYU always tells you that he prefers to properly adress you in public (he has yet to figure out how to use facetime when he said this) and he just likes to see your expression. Though when giyu did figure out facetime exist you get a call once a night just so he can tell you he loves you and properly see your face.
# Mitsuri ! โ˜†
A very VERY energetic texter. MITSURI practically texts you every single second she has!! She also absolutely loves informing you on anything that happens during the day making sure she always sends you a selfie or two before the day ends. Probably one of the people on this list who texts you more than you do by a mile. She just has so much to tell you! She's also obsessed with using filters so most of her photos of herself and you have a filter on them (her favorite is the pink dog face one).
# Muichiro ! โ˜†
MUICHIRO gives giyu a run for his money when it comes to never texting you at all. Yet unlike giyu who just likes seeing you in person (Muichiro does too of course) Muichiro just forgets. If he doesn't see you text immediately then you'll get a response in approximately 3 days. You probably have to call him just to tell you to respond to your text. Atleast he makes it up to you by hanging out with you in person.
# Kyojuro ! โ˜†
You're sure his phone must be broken because you've never seen KYOJURO type in lowercase before. Another person who texts you alot but less than mitsuri. He always tries to make sure to send you morning and good night texts (he wakes up at the crack of dawn and goes to sleep at 9:30 p.m on the dot). Also somebody to send those really cringey gifs constantly. You without fail always get a "HAVE A GOOD DAY! I LOVE YOU AND I'LL SEE YOU SOON!! ๐Ÿ”ฅ"
# Shinobu ! โ˜†
Unlike some of the people on this list she texts you on a regular but casual basis. SHINOBU always make sure to text you atleast once a day, the only problem is she texts you like she's sending a lettter in the mail. Every single message has 'Dear.. and From, Shinobu Kocho" and she has the most on point grammar you'll ever see. Her little letters would be really romantic if you actually got the physical letter instead of the text message.
# Uzui โ˜† !
A wild card when it comes to texting but UZUI usually texts you frequently. Another person who is obsessed with using emojis and also uses the "โœจ" because he claims its the most flamboyant emoji his phone has. He takes alot more selfies of himself compared to Mitsuri and always asks you to rate them for him. His wives usually are the ones who texts you with more sense, all of you are in a groupchat (excluding tengen) that you gossip in.
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ask-willowleafeon ยท 1 month ago
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Mel: "We've got the latest issues of some of the biggest comics out there! Or if you're lookin' for something a little more offbeat, we've got it all!
Different genres, art styles, generations... Your buddy'll find inspiration from just about any of these, I'm sure!
Who's this friend of yours, anyway? I'd like to pick their brain about the comics they draw!"
@office-pokemons
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why-fucking-bother-anymore ยท 7 months ago
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I swear I've gone through every emotion known to man.... (And then some) today...
#spiteful angry a little happy and proud judgemental upset sad mourning#the list can go on#its been a day#my thoughts#mom went to detox today and will be in recovery for a month#i already feel lighter with her gone#but conflicted because i wasn't there for her#but i couldn't be because she wouldn't let me#and genuinely i didnt want to be because she was simultaneously never there for me#but shes done more for me than i ever could've asked in some ways#but i also never asked to be born wish i was never born and feel like ive never belonged here#like i was meant to be aborted but was born instead#and yet despite it all I'm angry at the world for the cards she was dealt#for the way she was treated as a child#and the way no one was there for her and moved on pretending like all was fine#(some generational trauma she picked up and carried over)#upset at her siblings and friends for never being there for her like she needed (but i also understand that she pushed everyone away and im#In the same boat as them in that sense#but also shes my mother and im her child and shes never been there's for me so how could i possibly know how to be there for her#i hate being understanding because white hot anger and hatred is easier#so much easier#ignorance is bliss frfr#part of me is also proud of her for finally doing this#scared that she might get mistreated at the facility furthering her trauma scared of her relapsing and what that will look like#wanting to be a support fixture for her when she comes back at the end of the month but realistically knowing i cant#spiteful because where is her support system right now? everyone has failed her#spent years enabling and ignoring her#i hope she has a support system or can curate one because it cant be me#it just cant#mother wound
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trashcanalienist ยท 2 years ago
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blakelywintersfield ยท 2 years ago
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I'm so fucking exhausted with it all
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dragons-and-yellow-roses ยท 2 years ago
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See, I know things like waking up at a reasonable time, making and eating healthy meals, and exercising will all help my mental health. But uh, my mental health needs to improve before I can do that. Y'know?
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7nuh ยท 11 days ago
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WAS IT 'CASUAL' WHEN...? โ€” TWST 1ST YEARS
Headcanons on the 'casual' things you do with him that made him wish that there was something more between you.
CW ๐“‚ƒ sfw, gn!reader, reader is implied to fit in Deuce's clothes in his part, pining
CHARAS ๐“‚ƒ Ace Trappola, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, and Sebek Zigvolt
AN ๐“‚ƒ mostly* edited now ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ‘
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ACE TRAPPOLA โ€” you slept in the same bed?
Ramshackle isn't exactly known for having the best facilities or furniture, and that is a fact Ace has to make peace with whenever he gets kicked out by Riddle. It's always a little too chilly at night and the floors still creak beneath his feet. Even with a makeover, half of the beds are broken and that stiff couch downstairs is your next best bet at getting some semblance of sleep.
You insisted you really didn't mind sharing a bed at all and Ace took you up on your offer. In his words, "if you say so then!" Just create an invisible partition down the middle and the two of you should be fine. Sure, yeah, that'll be infinitely more comfortable than the couch, and Ace absolutely agrees. He repeats the thought to himself over and over againโ€” this is supposedly the better alternative, isn't it?
Yeah, totally. He tries to convince himself that it's really not a big deal for him to be inches away from you at night and feel your warmth spreading through the sheets. God, you'd think he's a weirdo if you woke up and caught him staring right now, but he could always twist it into a dumb joke about your sleeping face looking like an ogre. Consequently, he would have to watch your face twist in annoyance and pretend he wasn't watching every rise and fall of your chest. He would rather lose his magic entirely than admit the ugly truth and make himself vulnerable to you.
Ace does realize he's being embarrassingly sappy and romantic, and he's disgusted at himself for these thoughts, but he can't help it. He can't change the fact your lips look so soft and your eyelashes are so pretty. This is freaking him out so much more than it should. Does this really mean nothing to you? Do really only see him as a friend? Fine, then the two of you are just friends sharing a bed then!
It's really nothing! Ace was the one who joked about it months ago, after all. But things (and his feelings) have changed and he cannot ignore that. Back then it wouldn't have been such a big deal, but now it is and he cannot calm his heart down no matter how hard he tries.
You're right there. It's not the first time he had to share a bed with someone but it's different now because it's you. He did the math and the two of you are only 10 inches apart. Ace almost reaches for you in his weakest moment until he remembers that the two of you are supposedly just two friends sharing a bed. You're doing him a favor by sheltering him for the night, that's all.
Ace retracts his hand right away at the very last second. He might have as well taken the goddamn couch (lest either of you wake up in each other's arms).
DEUCE SPADE โ€” he lent his clothes?
You came here with next to nothing. You had exactly one change of clothes and pocket lint for change, so Deuce, being the righteous and honorable student that he is, decided to lend you some of his clothes for the meantime. It's what a good friend would do! It's a temporary arrangement that would last only until Crowley spares enough change for you to buy another set of uniforms.
But this arrangement drags on for so long even when you have a functional closet and multiple sets of better-fitting clothes. Deuce never really noticed until recently that a third of your (albeit very limited) wardrobe actually belongs to him. But whenever you tug on his sleeves for his latest sweater, he doesn't have the heart to tell you no.
When he went home during break, his mom even noticed that certain sweaters and shirts had gone missing. "I left them at the college," he tells her as to not worry her. It's technically the truthโ€” it's back with you in the college (and you're probably wearing them right now; the mental image is enough to fluster him all of the sudden when it never did before). He has to get them back eventually since those clothes are his. He's sure you wouldn't mind? Right?
Simply asking for them back is the difficult part for Deuce. You're there in front of him wearing one of his older shirts that fit snugly around your figure and he's at a loss for words. It's worn down and outright hideous as hell but the very first thought that comes to mind is that you look good in it.
Ah, yeah. You walk around campus on non-school days wearing his clothes 1/3rd of the time and nobody else knows that those jackets and shirts and sweaters and button-ups are all his. You make even the ugliest ones look good, or maybe it's because you're the wearer and you always looked good to him? Do his eyes need to be checked...? Deuce is tortured by these thoughts while merrily go about your day. You're laughing at something stupid that Grim said and he can't hear anything else. There's a fight in the courtyard but he can't see anything else. There's a midterm tomorrow but he can't think of anything else. You're too distracting.
When you finally do remember to return a shirt or two, Deuce tells you there's really no need to return them. He insists that they're better off with you, but you laugh and remind him that you're no longer the same pathetic charity case you were at the start of the year.
The truth is, your scent still lingers on recently returned shirts. It's the closest he'll get to being skin-to-skin with you, and Deuce is supposed to ignore that but he cannot. Or maybe he's the only one making this weird for the two of you because it doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest (and he's bothered by that).
But when Deuce looks at the recently returned shirts in his hands, he hopes he has a chance. He hopes you think of him as much as he thinks of you. He hopes the odds of him not actually liking you after all make your guts churn and set butterflies in your chest at the same time. He hopes he isn't the only one yearning for used shirts, lingering scents, and ghost touches. But at the same time, you've only ever asked these kinds of favors from him... Deuce doesn't want to assume anything, but a blush creeps upon his cheeks all the same and he continues to hope for more.
JACK HOWL โ€” you played with his ears and tail?
Beastmen weren't a thing back in your world, so seeing them regularly made you morbidly curious about their animalistic features. Jack was easily the best candidate to satisfy your intrusive thoughts because just who else could you ask about this? Leona wasn't exactly an option and Ruggie might rope you into some scheme of his. And Jack owed you a favor, after all, so this is what you decided to ask of him.
Jack's ears twitchedโ€” did he hear you correctly? His face scrunches up in confusion because you barely knew each other for you to be asking something like this. How could you ask something so personal from him? It's in your innocently eager expression that he realizes what's going on... you just didn't know. Fine, it should mean nothing to you and thus he agrees to let you pet his tail and ears for five seconds. Maximum.
It's supposed to be a one time thing but he finds him involuntarily offering up his tail whenever you look him like that. He's not even sure how it got to this point. After all, there are romantic connotations of having your tail petted by someone else and... nevermind. Ruggie and Leona have started simultaneously teasing him over it the very moment they caught wind of this peculiar arrangement. It doesn't help that Jack's tail is particularly sensitive and reactive, but he keeps a straight face no matter how much it embarrasses him.
Jack doesn't understand why you're so fascinated by his tail and ears because there are so many others just like him. However, he supposes it's not an entirely terrible feeling, though, to have your fingers absentmindedly rake across his tail and hair as the two of you study. It's relaxing, even, but he won't tell you that. Jack will never tell you that it gives him goosebumps all over and makes him shiver whenever you play with his tail. Or that he's begun wondering what it would be like to have your hands elsewhere, or for him to touch you in similar ways in return.
He doesn't understand why he craves your company but doesn't question it either. All he knows is that your hands are so soft and gentle and that he likes the way the corner of your eyes crinkle when you smile in satisfaction. And when you hum a soft tune as the gap between the two of you closes, he wonders if he's the only one feeling this tension.
"Again?" Jack huffs. The pretext of this being a silly favor has been long forgotten. He should probably tell you soon that you shouldn't be doing this, but you just look so pleased with yourself when the two of settle down in a lesser-known corner of the library. The routine persists, the cycle continues. Hours later, the both of you have gone through multiple bags of chips, two movies on his laptop, and his tail is now comfortably curled around your abdomen as you read a book and he tends to his beloved cactus.
Again? Jack silently asks himself whenever he sees your face in a crowd. Could the two of you spend hours in a comfortable silence while the unsaid implications haunt him? He's started to ask himselfโ€” were you just playing dumb at this point or just plain stupid? Or what if you had known all along and the two of you were just dancing around it?
EPEL FELMIER โ€” you kissed him?
Epel eventually learns to use the way others perceive him to his advantage; there's strength in appearing to be weak and striking when the iron is hot. Still, he couldn't help but wish to be seen for his talents and strength instead of his beauty at the first glance. The first assumption everyone makes of him, for god's sake, is that he's a fragile little thing from a rich family, and, quite frankly, he's sick of it.
So he's secretly delighted when none of his charms worked on you and you yank him by the ear for even attempting. A few curse words and rough shoves later, both of you are on the floor, grappling and wrestling against each other. The two of you are laughing so hard and swearing so loudly that you'll probably wake up the rest of Pomefiore at this rate, but neither of you care. It's just the two of you right now grasping at each other like your life depended on it.
It's a nice change of pace to be openly exchanging insults instead of restraining himself. He enjoys the comfortable rhythm the two of you shareโ€” from all the brawls and the bantering and the hugs and to the kisses on the cheek. Yes, kisses. They started as simple thank you's after a few favors here and there, and just one of them is enough to make a mess out of Epel for weeks. Better yet, you only seem to be showering him with more and more of your attention and he relishes in it.
Ah, things are finally working out for him! He found someone he could confide in and he's sure that there's a spark between the two of you. By the end of the year, he might have someone to bring home and brag about to his relativesโ€”
All the momentum halts when he sees you across the hall granting the rest of your friends the same levels of affection. From all the brawls to the bantering to the hugs and the kisses, none of those were ever solely his to take delight upon. It doesn't matter that he opened up to you about all his fears and insecurities because he was never special. You were just the kind of person who got along and felt comfortable with everyone around you, but Epel hates that he has no one to blame but himself. He willingly walked your warmth but it was never his to take.
It finally dawns upon him that you have never seen him in a romantic light and that was why you were so comfortable around him. In retrospect, the bond you two shared was more sibling-like than anythingโ€” and believe him when he says he's incredibly grateful that the two of you were that close โ€”but it doesn't make it hurt any less to know that your affections never carried any romantic intentions after he had pinned for you for so long.
Even when he takes a step back, you're cruel in a roundabout way by continuing to be so kind and loving towards him. How was Epel supposed to make sense of your relationship after realizing he misunderstood you...?
And he also hates to admit this, but his self-confidence takes a huge blow from this. Epel genuinely thought he could be loved for who he was based on the time you spent together. It gnaws at him and eats him alive to finally know the truth, and sometimes he wishes he never found out at all.
SEBEK ZIGVOLT โ€” you wrote him love letters?
So, Sebek asked (demanded) to be penpals...
It's all because Lilia told him it would be a good exercise of diplomacy, he insisted. As the young master's bodyguard, he will have to be as courteous as possible even in unpleasant company. He also rationalized, admittedly partly because of you, that forging bonds with magicless humans may be a worthwhile endeavor after all! It's all rather suspicious (and you suspect his real intentions have something to do with your friendship with Malleus), but Sebek has never been one to lie about his intentions. If anything, the popular opinion was that he's a little too honest and should learn a thing or two about holding back.
There's something very unconventional in sending handwritten letters in this day and age of modern technology, but also something very romantic and fantasticalโ€” much like the many fictional knights he had read about. It helps a lot that he's not directly confronted by the fact you are very much a magicless human who shouldn't be in NRC whenever he spills out his heart's contents unto multiple pages. It was a way for him to release his frustrations, celebrate his achievements, and talk about the dull, little things thats happened in his day-to-day life to someone who listened.
And listen you did. Turns out, when you're not subjected to his 1000 decibel shouting, Sebek is a rather earnest guy who worked hard and acknowledged others who also worked equally as hard no matter their disposition. To say the least, you understand why Lilia found it so entertaining to tease him.
It completely flies over his head that you had been flirting with him for months through these letters. Your everyday interactions with each other had been completely normal, so how was he supposed to notice?! It takes multiple rereads and many late-night discussions with the other Diasomnia dormers to decode and understand all the double entendres and hidden 'i love you's' in each and every letter. It was so needlessly difficult, but Lilia laughs in his face and pats him at the back for a job well-done.
"There's no way," he thinks to himself late at night and finds himself doubting Lilia's claims for once. But when Sebek steals a glance in your direction and you smile back in return, he's never felt weaker in his knees. You're absolutely and undeniably magic-less... but somehow you had casted a spell that made his chest tighten and shut him up. He hadn't even realized how much time he was spending with you and thinking about you when he wasn't.
Except nothing has changed in-person. You're acting like you hadn't meticulously hidden your affections for him in those letters, and he was starting to seriously doubt all of it. Yeah, were you event smart enough to pull off all that? As some magic-less human?
Actually... Sebek realizes that you are capable of outsmarting him after getting to know you much better through those letters. He's never been one to deny where credit it was due. Now, Sebek's just deeply ashamed that he failed to accurately assess your character before making judgements based on superficial traits. He knows better than anyone that you're witty, charming, brave, kind, beautiful, ambitiousโ€”
Oh no.
Oh no.
Sebek simply explodes on the spot once he realizes that he had been oblivious to his own feelings for you too. He had thoroughly examined every aspect of this conundrum except from within. Quite embarrassing from an esteemed knight of the prince of nocturnal fae to be this slow, really.
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doodlboy ยท 1 year ago
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A day part 2
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allbark-no-bite ยท 7 months ago
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good boy.
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art donaldson x reader (wc: 2.9k)
summary: as Artโ€™s personal physical therapist, itโ€™s your job to fix what Tashi has torn apart, by whatever means necessary. or in which Art just needs some TLC
warnings: 18+ smut, it could be worse tbh, mentions of disordered eating
authorโ€™s note: iโ€™m back ig?? im out of uni for the summer and challengers has me in a chokehold. Art Donaldson the man that you are
โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”โ€”
You're standing just within earshot of the doorway, passing a sanitary wipe over one of the tables in the athlete treatment room when you hear the door abruptly open. Tashi storms in with a purpose and Art trails meekly behind her. Even if you had been clueless to how the match had gone rather than on the sidelines beside Tashi not even twenty minutes ago, you could have guessed by the hard line of her mouth that Art was in for it. Not that her displeased scowl was much different from her usual scowl, but you'd been around long enough to know the difference.
She stops abruptly, and Art heels obediently as Tashi turns around to face him. "I need you to tell me when you're going to fucking get it together so that I can stop wasting my time."
Weary and sweat soaked, Art just stares at her with that pitiful look on his face and says nothing in reply. His blue eyes solemnly take in her harsh disappointment as though beyond used to it. At this point it's not all that foreign to you either.
"You may as well be fucking asleep out there," she snaps.
This time his mouth opens. "I- I'm just tired-" he begins, although there's hardly any argue to his voice at all.
"No, I'm tired, Art," Tashi interjects. "Do you have any idea how much fucking work I've put into getting you back onto the court this past year?! I've done everything! The least you could do go out there and try to act like I've done anything for you at all!"
Art swallows, the slight frown on his face deepening. "I am. I just- I don't-"
Before he can even finish his sentence. The open palm of Tashi's hand connects with his cheek as she pops the left side of his face. Art closes his mouth. You pretend to concentrate on wiping down the table. It's not the first time you've witnessed one of these conversations but it still feels private, like you shouldn't be here. You keep wiping the table.
Understanding that anything else he says is only going to make Tashi angrier, Art resigns to once again watching her in silence. His blue eyes are sad. The usually fair skin of his cheek is tinted pink where she popped him. Although it wasn't very hard, you're sure it still hurt him all the same.
"Quit wasting my time," is all she says before she finally turns and leaves, walking right past you and out the other door. You hold your breath as she passes you. Art watches her go but makes no move to follow. You release an audible sigh. It's been a frustrating day for everyone. As Art's personal trainer, physical therapist, and close friend, you felt every loss, every ache and pain, every bad play. And there seemed to be a lot of those lately.
Art is still standing there, watching the closed door that Tashi left though.
Not knowing how to break the silence, you finally pat the freshly sanitized treatment table. "C'mon," you call gently, as though beckoning to a wounded dog.
It takes a moment for him to budge, but eventually he does, his disheartened spirit apparent in the way he walks over. Used to the usual routine, he tugs his damp shirt off over his head as he takes a seat, the lean muscles of his torso flexing as he does so. You allow yourself to ogle at him, only for a brief moment before stepping in between the bracket of his knees. Gently, you cradle his chin, tipping his head back to look up at you as your thumb smooths over the redness of his cheek. His blue eyes blink up at you, sad and dog-like.
"It wasn't terrible," you reassure him. "You had surgery six months ago. You're still getting your feet back underneath you. Most people wouldn't have come back." You're right. The still-pink scars on his shoulder are still fresh on your mind. The stitches weren't even out before Tashi had him in physical therapy. Even though his medical team had released him, it was still a bit early to start doing rehab so soon after surgery, Art's comfort being your biggest concern. But when Tashi wants something, she gets it.
Wordlessly, Art sighs, the weight of his head settling into your palm as he finally lets go of the tension he'd been carrying. It was always like this. You fixing what Tashi had torn apart. You understood where Tashi was coming from. Art needed a firm voice in his training, and you had a lot of respect for the way she put her foot down and never let up, not even once. But there was only so many times you could kick a dog while he was down.
So if Art needed someone to coddle him, you would coddle him.
He trusts you. He needs you, is what Tashi had told you when she asked you to stay on as his trainer full time. The three of you had been in the same year at Stanford all those years ago, Tashi and Art on the tennis team and you helping out as a student trainer as part of a class requirement. Three peas in a pod, the trio of you were. Of course then they both graduated, leaving you to finish up your schooling, meanwhile Art set off to go pro.
A few years later, once Tashi officially took on the position as Art's coach, she began building his team, and that's where you came in. You were hesitant at first.
'I already lost to you once, Tashi. I won't come in second to you again.'
She had paused on the other end of the line. Back in your Stanford days, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that you were head over heels in love with the blonde tennis player. But loving Art was like accepting the participation ribbon for a game you knew you weren't going to win in the first place. It was like standing next to the podium, just lucky enough to be included in the picture while Tashi and tennis took first and second place. And so you let him go.
'I'm not asking you to. This is different.'
Your hand slips from his face, and he forces his eyes open.
โ€œHave you eaten?" you ask, stepping away in order to put some distance between the two of you and look for the granola bars that you keep especially for him. The gels were good sources of quick fuel in between sets, but they were hardly enough to even begin to make up for the calories he burned while playing.
Slowly, Art shakes his head, but he makes no move to take the snack from your hand when you offer it to him. Ever since his injury, nutrition became all the more important. So much to the point that every single thing that he consumed was mapped out to the exact calorie. Although he would never admit it, any sort of change in this routine made him incredibly anxious. Some days it was better not to cause him the anxiety than to force him.
Today, you insistently hold out the bar until he begrudgingly takes it from your hand. You don't move until you've seen him tear open the package and take a bite.
"Were you still feeling tight?" you ask as you walk around the table, stopping at the slouch of his turned back. You reach out to grasp at the joint of his neck and shoulder, your thumb smoothing over the kinesiology tape that's peeling away at the base of his neck.
He half turns his head to glance back at you. "You watched the match. You tell me."
His response is meant to be snippy, but it comes out more defeated than anything. To be fair, you've been his trainer long enough to know that if something was bothering him physically, you would have picked up on it.
"I want to hear it from you."
"I felt fine."
Your left hand follows suit on the other side of his neck, and you use both of your thumbs to apply pressure to what you assume will be a tense spot along the upper part of his traps. Predictably, Art groans at the attention. The muscles of his back contract as he fights the urge to shake you off. Relaxing the muscle hurts as much as it feels good. Besides his obvious discomfort, the rest of his body has gone lax under your touch. His shoulders have dropped at least an inch, and his chin has fallen to rest against his chest.
"Finish your granola bar," you reprimand him, your firm fingers working across his back until you find another spot that nearly has him jerking away. He releases a whine but obediently takes another bite of the bar. This time he finishes it before you have to remind him again.
You spend a few more minutes torturing him before you're satisfied that a majority of the tension has left his shoulders.
"Okay, good boy," you murmur, leaning forward so that your chest is close enough to brush against his back. One of your hands trails up to squeeze the back of his neck reassuringly.
You're close enough to hear him swallow at the name. The skin on the nape of his neck shivers despite how hot he still is from the match.
"Was I?" he asks timidly. "Good today?"
'I can be his coach. Or I can be the person he cries to after a bad day. But I can't be both. That's why he needs you."
Without removing your hand from his neck, you walk around the table so you're standing in front of him. Art widens the spread of his legs so that you can stand between them. His chin is still pressed to his chest, blue eyes focused on the ground.
"Art," is all you say, shifting your grip on his neck to tug lightly at his golden blonde hair. At your voice, he lifts his head just enough to look up at you through the pale wisps of his eyelashes. The irises of his blue eyes shine are wet with uncertainty.
Your fingers loosen their grip to allow your nails to scratch at his scalp. "You're good, Art. You'll always be good."
Art twists his head to nuzzle his cheek along the inside ofย  your outstretched arm. His lips kiss the crook of your elbow. He swallows again. "Even if I don't play tennis?"
You can tell the question's been bothering him, eating at his nerves, and messing up his game. You know him well enough to know that retirement isn't what he wants, not really. At least not right now. What he wants is the reassurance that it's going to be okay if he can't swing the comeback.
"Look at me."
He lingers a moment longer with his lips pressed lovingly against your skin before he reluctantly shifts his gaze up to you. His look is anticipatory but reserved, as if to preemptively conceal his disappointment should you choose to crush his heart with your answer.
His fear is understandable. Art's relationship with Tashi has always been entirely built off of his tennis career. By being the driving force behind his success, Tashi has vicariously lived out the life she would have had had her injury never happened. Without tennis, Art has nothing left to offer her. He knows that if he gives up tennis, he loses Tashi.
Your relationship with Art was a little less conditional. Hell, you'd been in love with him since the first time you'd laid eyes on him at Stanford. You can still picture him standing there on the court, barely nineteen, scrawny, nervous smile, backwards cap over his strawberry blonde hair. Before he was the Art Donaldson. But when Tashi had stepped into the picture, you figured that was where your fairytale ended.
"I don't love you because of tennis. I love you because you're kind, and thoughtful, and you're passionate about what you do." You smile a bit before adding, "And you're my good boy."
The name turns him bashful again, and he's quick to turn and hide his smiling face against your arm, only the flushed tips of his ears visible. "[Y/n]," he mumbles, likely meaning to be threatening, but it doesn't come out that way.
Art Donaldson lived to be praised.
You laugh, pulling him closer so that his face is held against your chest. The hand that you don't have threaded through his hair trails up the muscle of his defined quad. "You're my good boy. Aren't you, baby?"
Art whines, squirming when your hand reaches the apex of his thigh and hovers over the forming bugle of his shorts. He's not quite there yet, his dick only half chubbed up in interest, but given the day that he's had, you won't make him wait.
"Please?" he mumbles, his face still buried into your collarbone, as if attempting to curling into you, like a small child needing their parent to hold them for comfort.
You rake your nails lightly up the inside of his thigh. "What, baby?"
Not only did Art liked to be praised, but he was masochist even on his worst days.
"Want you to touch me," he mumbles, his voice muffled by your shirt. "Please."
Your hand still scratching through his hair, you press a kiss to the side of his head, unable to suppress your smile at his timid politeness and how it never seems to fail him. The only time he ever resembled anything remotely voracious was on the court.
Palm finding his tented shorts, you cup him through the fabric. Art responds immediately to your touch, his hips shifting further into your grasp. You continue to pet him through his shorts, appreciating the way you can feel him actively responding to your touch.
His nails dig into the padding of the treatment table when you give his now fully hard dick a less than sympathetic squeeze. His breath is hot as he pants against your collarbone, alternating between laving open mouthed kisses to your skin and whining when you pause fondling him just to feel his hips rut up into your palm.
Art was so in control on the tennis court, that often after a match, putting the control into someone else's hands was just what he needed.
When his hips start to stutter, you ease up but continue to stroke him through his shorts. The front of his shorts are damp with the musk of residual sweat and precum.
His breath is shallowโ€”anticipatory.
"Gunna come?" you ask softly, speaking into the blonde mess of his hair, cradling him. He right there, you can tell by the lackluster buck of his hips, his building fatigue, and the change in his breathing.
"Can I? โ€”Please?" Art asks breathily. He hiccups out the last part, his voice catching.
"You know you don't have to ask."
There's a brief pause, as if coming to the realization, before he meekly murmurs, "I know.
It should be sad really, his unwavering obedience, but there are two sides to Art, two polar extremes. On the court, every match, every set, every debilitating second is up to him. No one else can help him out there, and up until about a year ago, he played like it. That was the side of Art Donaldson that Tashi wanted. After the match is a different story. In private, Art needed someone to do the thinking for him, to pull him into a reality where he could believe that it didn't matter whether he won or lost. Tashi had not the sympathy nor the patience for that kind of fragility.
Art comes with a brief cry into your chest, his body arching into yours. Your hand palms at his pulsing dick until he's oversensitive and pulling away. When you relent, the front of his shorts are sticky and wet.
Finally, Art lifts his face from the safety of your chest. His blue eyes are glossed over, but it's an improvement from the detached look they held ten minutes ago. His cheeks are flushed, a mixture of his own embarrassment and satisfaction.ย 
You can't help the soft smile that creeps onto your face at the look of him, and immediately Art is abashedly trying to hide his face again, his own smile starting to appear. Before he can, you bring your hands back up to cradle his face, thumbs wiping away the wetness from under his eyes. This time he lets you.
His eyes study your face for a second, admiring you, appreciating the love he has for you.
โ€œI donโ€™t want to play tennis anymore.โ€
You canโ€™t tell if itโ€™s more of a statement or a confession. Either way, you know heโ€™s telling you the absolute truth.
โ€œOkay,โ€ you reply softly, not hint of judgement in your voice. Maybe some disappointment, but that was understandable.
Retirement would be a kindness. Art would finally put back on some healthy weight, start smiling again, put on a real, actual smile. You could already see it, a nice house for the two of you to settle down in, with a picket fence and a dog in the backyard, the kind of things the two of you would have never had time for on tour.
Tennis had brought the two of you together, but it wouldnโ€™t end you.
3K notes ยท View notes
senascoop ยท 10 days ago
Text
TIL DEATH DO US PART , S.JY !
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PAIRING: husband ! jake ร— afab reader
SYNOPSIS: In an arranged marriage where sparks never flew, you finally chose divorce as the only path to freedom. But when your husband died in a sudden accident, life took an unexpected turn, binding you to a reality marked by guilt, grief, and the shadows of unfulfilled words. Now, you must navigate a world that holds him forever gone.
GENRE: fluff + angst
WARNING(S): not proofread, kissing, dirty jokes, a little bit suggestive, mentions of suicide and death, insecurities, mentions of pregnancy. lmk if I missed anything.
WORD COUNT: 16.2K
FEAT: JAY from ENHYPEN + some ocs
MASTERLISTS ARCHIVE !!
NOTE FROM SENA โ”Š had this idea going from quite a lot of time (two months lol) though i wasn't sure of posting it... but here you go i guess. was supposed to post this a day ago for Jakeโ€™s bday (๐ŸŽ‚) but I hope this still works. definitely won't claim this as one of my best works but hope it's not too bad. would love to know your opinions <3
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DEAR JAKE,
Iโ€™m sorry, but I canโ€™t continue living like this. Iโ€™m leaving. Our marriage has become a constant battle, and I believe weโ€™re both suffering more by holding on than we would by letting go. I know neither of us wanted it to come to this, and I wish things were different. But deep down, I think weโ€™re better apart. I hope one day youโ€™ll understand.
With regret, Y/N.
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TEARS BLURRED YOUR VISION AS YOU STARED AT THE CRUMBLED NOTE IN YOUR HAND๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝthe one you had written to Jake months ago. The one that now felt like a curse. Your hands shook as you traced the familiar words, guilt twisting your insides. Iโ€™m leaving. Iโ€™m sorry. He had never known the true weight of those words. And now he never would.
The police had found it in his pocket. They said heโ€™d carried it with him, even after everything. Even when he... when he was gone.
You collapsed onto the couch, clutching the note like a lifeline, but it only felt like a reminder of how far you had pushed him. How much you had wanted out, and now, how deeply you regretted it. A year together, two lives constantly at odds, and it had ended in this way. A divorce that never came, an accident that did. You didnโ€™t want this, didnโ€™t want him gone, but now, all you had was thisโ€”regret, and a body that was too still in your bed to hold. The anger, the frustration of him being goneโ€”it consumed you, ate at your soul.
Why couldnโ€™t you have waited?
You had hoped time apart would fix things, give you both breathing room. But he hadnโ€™t lived long enough for you to see the good you could have made of it. The guilt ate you alive, deeper than the frustration ever had. You tried to convince yourself it wasnโ€™t your fault, that you couldnโ€™t have known, but deep down, the truth stung. Your note had been his last reminder of your marriage. His last memory. He had carried your rejection right until the end.
Would things have been different if you hadnโ€™t written that letter?
The thought raked at your mind like shards of glass, shredding everything in its path. What if you had kept fighting for him, for the marriage? Would he have been here? Would you have learned to love him? Or would he still have left, still have been gone, no matter what?
Your thoughts flickered back to moments with himโ€”so small, so easy to overlook. The way Jake had rolled his eyes every time youโ€™d scolded his niece Semi for spilling juice, or how he had tried to hide his smirk as he pretended to act innocent. The little things that used to irritate you, that you had never really appreciated until now.
You remembered the way he defended you against his relatives, his words sharp and protective as they made cruel comments about your body. They didnโ€™t understand, but Jake did. He had always been there, not perfect but trying.
โ€œShe suits me well enough.โ€
The memory felt like a slap now, a cruel joke. You had spent so much time pushing him away, not seeing that he cared. You hadnโ€™t seen that he had tried.
โ€œWhy couldnโ€™t I have seen it?โ€ you whispered to the empty room, curling up on the bed, pressing your face into the pillow. The tears soaked into the fabric, and the sobs wracked through you like a storm. Why was it only now, when he was gone, that you realized how much he had mattered?
You had never kissed him, never held him the way a wife should. You thought you had the luxury of time, but now you had nothing left but his memory. The memory of a man you barely knew but had somehow been the one constant in your life. How selfish of you to push him away. How stupid to think it was all about the fights, the annoyances, and not about the love you could have had.
โ€œPlease... Jake. Iโ€™m sorry...โ€
The words escaped you as your sobs grew louder, choking your breath. Your body trembled with grief, the weight of regret pressing down on you until you couldnโ€™t breathe. If only you could undo it, go back and rewrite the note. If only you hadnโ€™t given up on him, on the marriage, on the chance for something more.
The room felt suffocating now, as though the walls were closing in around you. What now? you thought. There was no future with him anymore. No next step. No reconciliation.
Why had you waited so long to realize how much he meant to you?
You sank deeper into your pillow, tears soaking your face and your hair, wishing for the impossible: for him to walk through the door, to come back, to make everything okay again. But he wouldnโ€™t. He couldnโ€™t.
And all that was left was you. And the note.
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YOUR MOTHER IN LAWโ€™S HANDS TREMBLE AS SHE EXTENDS THE ANCESTRAL RING TOWARDS YOU, her eyes glistening with raw grief. The ring's delicate gold band catches the light, an unwanted reminder of everything Jake representedโ€”strength, love, an unfinished story.
โ€œHe wanted you to have thisโ€ฆ but I never thought Iโ€™d give it to you now. Not like this,โ€ she whispers, her voice breaking before dissolving into quiet sobs. The sound is so raw it scrapes at your heart. For a moment, the room feels unbearably small, closing in with the suffocating weight of shared loss.
You stare at the ring, fingers hovering uncertainly. The thought of accepting it feels like admitting heโ€™s really gone. Yet, you know you canโ€™t refuse it; Jakeโ€™s wish, even unspoken now, feels sacred. You slip the ring onto your finger, a silent acknowledgment of the man you had once promised yourself to, a man youโ€™ll never get the chance to truly know.
With a hesitant step forward, you place your hand on her shoulder, the touch meant to soothe but feeling fragile, as though it could shatter under the weight of her grief. The older woman leans into you, body racked with tremors as she buries her face in her hands. Her sobs rise and fall in uneven waves, echoing in the otherwise silent room.
โ€œPleaseโ€ฆ donโ€™t cry,โ€ you whisper, your voice hoarse and cracking at the edges. The night had drained you, leaving your eyes dry yet still burning, poised for more tears that you no longer had the strength to shed.
Her grief pierces deeper. โ€œHe wouldnโ€™t want to see you in pain,โ€ you add, voice low, carrying the weight of a plea that even you donโ€™t believe.
โ€œI-I know,โ€ she manages between sobs, her shoulders trembling. โ€œButโ€ฆ he was so young, so full of life. It shouldโ€™ve been me, not him. He barely started his life, and nowโ€ฆโ€
The room seems to warp under the heaviness of her words. You know sheโ€™s right. The unfairness of it all gnaws at you. But what would Jake want? The question echoes in your mind, clawing for answers you wish you didnโ€™t have to seek.
You close your eyes for a brief second, conjuring his face in your memoryโ€”the way his smile would sneak out when he thought you werenโ€™t looking, the stubborn tilt of his chin when he was determined. You imagine him here, telling you what to do, how to be strong for her when he couldnโ€™t be.
Drawing in a shaking breath, you shift, wrapping your arms around your mother-in-law. She stiffens for a heartbeat before collapsing into the embrace, her body convulsing with grief. Her head rests on your shoulder, and you stroke her back, the gesture rhythmic, almost desperate, as if the act itself could soothe the unsoothable.
โ€œMy poor boyโ€ฆ he mustโ€™ve been so scared, so alone in those final moments,โ€ she chokes out, and itโ€™s as if a knife twists in your chest. The image of him in pain, of his last moments, blurs the edges of your control. A tear slips down your cheek, a singular escape among the multitude waiting behind your lashes.
โ€œIโ€™m so sorry, Jake,โ€ you whisper, barely audible. The guilt is relentless, intertwining with the ache of loneliness that had settled deep within you long before he passed. You were alone when he was alive, and now that emptiness has transformed, sharpened by grief, into something more unbearable.
Her sobs quiet, just enough for her to lift her head and take in your expression, your tears mingling with unsaid words. She studies you, eyes clouded by grief but touched with understanding.
โ€œYou must feel so alone tooโ€ฆ You and Jakeโ€ฆ barely had time,โ€ she murmurs, her voice a weak echo of empathy.
The silence stretches, heavy and uncertain. You meet her gaze and see the exhaustion, the pain mirrored back at you. It anchors you for a moment, before she speaks again.
โ€œYouโ€™re still young. You should think of moving forward one day. Remarry, maybeโ€ฆ Youโ€™ll always be like a daughter to me, but you have to live, too.โ€
Your heart clenches, rejecting the thought. You donโ€™t want to. The ache of wanting Jake, even in a marriage that had felt distant, is a raw wound you canโ€™t imagine healing. The loneliness was familiar; life without him is uncharted, unbearable.
โ€œI wonโ€™tโ€ฆ I canโ€™t,โ€ you admit, voice shaking as the tears finally spill, unchecked. โ€œI just want him back. Even if it means being lonely again.โ€
The words break you open, and this time, neither of you tries to stop the crying. You hold each other in the ruins of shared loss, hoping, against hope, that the pieces of your shattered hearts will one day feel less sharp.
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YOUR HANDS CHILLED FROM THE BRISK AIR, DIG DEEPER INTO YOUR COAT POCKETS AS YOU GAZE OUT INTO THE SWIRLING SNOW, a faint numbness settling in your bones. Each snowflake that brushes against your cheek feels colder than the last, a physical reminder of the frost thatโ€™s taken root in your heart, a void Jake's absence left behind. Life has lost its rhythm, its purpose, and the bustling world seems foreign, moving on a beat you no longer recognize.
Nursing, once a passion that filled your heart, now feels suffocating. The once-simple act of caring for patients, seeing them through their darkest times, now stirs something darker inside youโ€”an envy for their hope, their chances. These creeping, bitter thoughts had scared you enough to step back from the only profession you knew. The faces of crying relatives haunted your dreams, their grief striking chords too familiar, too close. Youโ€™d sworn to heal, never harm, yet here you are, carrying shadows of guilt too heavy to bear.
The cafรฉโ€™s warmth hits you as you push through the door, a momentary comfort against the gnawing cold. You shuffle forward, fingers fumbling in your pocket for money as your eyes wander the room. Jake had always spoken fondly of this place, a little corner shop with its cozy mismatched chairs and the sweet aroma of cocoa and baked pastries. A small pang clenches your chest, regret whispering its usual 'what ifs.' If only youโ€™d agreed to visit here with him, if only time hadnโ€™t been a cruel master.
The barista, a young woman with weary eyes, glances up as she speaks. โ€œMaโ€™am, are you ordering?โ€ Her voice, though polite, carries a slight impatience with the growing line behind you.
โ€œAh, yesโ€ฆ a cold coffee,โ€ you manage, the words falling flat as if they donโ€™t quite belong to you. Her brows lift, a flicker of confusion.
โ€œIn this weather?โ€ she asks, a hint of genuine concern lacing her tone.
Realizing the absurdity, you swallow, forcing a small, resigned nod. โ€œHot chocolate then,โ€ you say, the warmth of Jakeโ€™s recommendation tugging at the edges of your memory.
The exchange is brief, the hot drink pressed into your hands a minute later. As you turn to leave, the weight of the ancestral ring around your finger pulls at you, its cool surface grounding and yet suffocating. The bittersweet metal reflects a dull glow, a silent reminder of promises made and broken, of the love lost and the void left behind.
The wind picks up outside, tugging at your coat as you sip the hot chocolate. Its warmth spreads through you, but itโ€™s fleeting, never enough to touch the ache within. You shake your head, Jakeโ€™s face vivid in your mind, his teasing smile as heโ€™d planned your future dates. Youโ€™d push the thought aside, but every step feels like dragging a part of him behind you.
โ€œWhy canโ€™t I let go?โ€ you murmur, voice snatched away by the icy air. Your brother-in-lawโ€™s words echo in your mind, urging you to stop living in Jakeโ€™s shadow. But how do you tear yourself away from the ghost of a love that never got to finish its story?
Snow clings to your coat as you continue to trudge through the city, each step heavy with an ache that refuses to fade. The glow of the streetlights bathes the snow in a warm, golden hue, contrasting the bitter chill that settles in your chest. Sipping the hot chocolate, you try to focus on the warmth sliding down your throat, but the sweetness only sharpens the emptiness inside. The steam curls from the cup, a fleeting comfort as your breath mingles with it in the frigid air.
You pause near a park bench, eyes darting to couples bundled up, their laughter piercing through the quiet snowfall. One couple stands close, the man adjusting the scarf around his partnerโ€™s neck with a smile that makes your heart clench. You bite the inside of your cheek, the taste of copper sharp on your tongue as you fight back the sting in your eyes. The jealousy gnaws at you, sour and uninvited.
The memory of Jakeโ€™s voice flits through your mind, warm and teasing: โ€œGood things happen to good people.โ€ You scoff, the bitterness in that statement now a cruel joke. Were you not good enough? The universe seemed to think so, because it had ripped him away, leaving a hollow shell in his place.
Lost in thought, you find yourself on the bridge, fingers trailing over the iron railing that has frosted over, leaving cool streaks on your gloves. This place, once so filled with light and memories, feels haunted now. You trace a path where your and Jakeโ€™s hands once met, where laughter and shared secrets once echoed.
A voice, small and familiar, intrudes on your thoughts. Semiโ€™s question echoes, fragile and innocent: โ€œAunty, when will Uncle come home?โ€ You close your eyes, the lump in your throat thickening as the memory sharpens. You remember her wide, unknowing eyes searching yours for an answer you couldn't give, the guilt of that half-truth searing into you as you whispered, โ€œIโ€™m not sure, sweetie.โ€
You grip the railing tighter, feeling the cold seep through your gloves as the ache of regret claws at your heart. The river below moves steadily, unaffected by the chaos in your chest. You look down, watching the water catch the light in rippling patterns, your reflection distorted and wavering. The noise of the city fades as you breathe in the freezing air, each exhale a shuddering attempt to steady yourself.
A gust of wind stings your face, and you force yourself to look up, straightening with a resolve that feels fragile. Jakeโ€™s brother and his wife were inside your apartment, their watchful eyes filled with concern disguised as casual chatter. You know why they stayโ€”itโ€™s not out of pity, but out of fear, a silent agreement to keep you tethered when your world felt like it was splitting at the seams.
The laughter from the park drifts over again, mingling with the hum of distant traffic. For a moment, you let yourself remember the warmth of Jakeโ€™s embrace, the way heโ€™d nudge your shoulder and murmur, โ€œLife doesnโ€™t stop, even when we want it to.โ€
โ€œMaybe it shouldnโ€™t,โ€ you whisper into the night, the words barely a breath as they dissolve in the chill.
The warmth of the hot chocolate fades as the biting wind grazes your skin, a cruel reminder of the numbing void left behind. You stare at the bridge, eyes tracing the railings where Jakeโ€™s laughter once echoed. A memory surfaces, unbidden yet vivid.
โ€œI know this isn't what either of us planned, but... I wish we could work it out,โ€ Jake had said, a touch of hesitation softening his confident voice. His hands, hesitant but steady, hovered near you, respecting the space you held between.
โ€œI wish that too,โ€ you had murmured, the lie sliding off your tongue too easily. Youโ€™d convinced yourself you didn't care enough for Jake then, but the pang of that memory now gnawed at your insides. Regret had a way of reshaping the past, twisting even the most indifferent moments into sharp blades.
โ€œTell me something about yourself,โ€ Jake had prodded gently, eyes bright even as he leaned down to meet your gaze.
Caught off guard, youโ€™d raised an eyebrow. โ€œLike what?โ€ The question felt foreign, untouched by anyone's curiosity until now.
โ€œYour ideal type,โ€ he said, the corner of his mouth lifting as though challenging you. His height had always made you tilt your head back to catch his expressionโ€”a detail that now felt like a cruel nostalgia.
โ€œWhy would you ask that?โ€ You'd played along, teasing but curious.
Jake chuckled, the sound resonant and warm. โ€œBecause we're getting married, and maybe knowing each other better will make it feel less... strange. Maybe, just maybe, we'll fall in love.โ€ His hand, finally settling on your shoulder, had felt reassuring, a silent promise in its touch.
The memory cleaves through you like a knife, leaving behind a raw wound that no time or distance can heal. A single tear slips down your cheek as you blink, the reality of the moment washing over you like a wave. The park across the street bustles with couples walking hand-in-hand, laughter and warmth breaking through the cold that wraps around you. A fresh ache takes root, sharp and relentless.
You drop the empty cup into the trash can, the metallic clang breaking your reverie. The grief, heavy and suffocating, presses you to the edge as you turn and begin the long walk home. Your footsteps are heavy, every step an effort against the pull of the past.
โ€œAunty, you're so late. Did you bring Uncle with you?โ€ Semiโ€™s small voice meets you at the door, eyes bright with innocent hope. The guilt hits you like a punch, stealing the air from your lungs. Your throat tightens as you shake your head, eyes avoiding her searching gaze.
Jieun, seeing your reaction, sighs softly as she pulls Semi closer. โ€œSemi, we talked about this, remember?โ€ Her voice holds the practiced patience of a mother trying to shield her child from the pain.
โ€œIโ€™m sorry, Mom,โ€ Semi mumbles, eyes dropping to her tiny hands that fidget nervously. The sight twists your heart, guilt layering over the grief that refuses to ease.
You force a hollow smile. โ€œItโ€™s okay, Jieun. She's just a kid,โ€ you say, your voice low and void of emotion as you shrug off your winter coat and hang it up. The familiar routine feels like a play you no longer wish to act in.
โ€œStill, I justโ€”โ€ Jieunโ€™s words falter as you cut her off, your voice breaking the tension.
โ€œPlease,โ€ you murmur, the word sharp and desperate, silencing the room. The stillness that follows is suffocating, your breaths shallow as you fight to keep your composure.
Jieun's eyes search yours, understanding but hesitant. โ€œWe just donโ€™t want you to be alone,โ€ she whispers, her voice thick with worry.
โ€œI know,โ€ you reply, sitting on the couch with your head hung low, hands clenched tightly in your lap. After a long pause, you add, โ€œBut you need to leave. This is your home too, but you have your own life to get back to. I need time... time to figure out how to grieve.โ€ Your eyes donโ€™t lift to meet theirs; you canโ€™t bear to see the disappointment or concern there.
Semiโ€™s voice pipes up again, the innocence piercing through your defenses. โ€œAre you sending us away, Aunty?โ€
The weight of guilt deepens, pressing into your chest. You close your eyes, feeling the sting behind your lids before you answer. โ€œNo, sweetie, Iโ€™m not sending you away. You can come whenever you want. Aunty will always be here.โ€ The words come out flat, and you feel them land like lies in the air between you.
Jieun picks Semi up, nodding at you as if she understands, though her eyes glisten with worry. โ€œWeโ€™ll give you some space. But weโ€™ll check in. Donโ€™t forget that, please.โ€
When the door clicks shut, silence wraps around you, heavy and thick. Your gaze shifts to the note youโ€™d prepared earlier, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. The words, written in your own hand, feel foreign now: apologies to the people who stayed, memories they never knew you held, and the final confession of a heart too weary to go on.
You were battling with the urge to just end it all.
The rational part of your brain told you that you were young and had your whole life ahead and that you'd meet a lot of guys in your life but the stubborn heart won't give up and held onto the memory of the guy you once called your husband.
So, you gave up.
A smile, then another.
The city glows beneath you, lights sprawled like constellations cast on earth. The wind at this height is sharp, tearing through your clothes and chilling your skin, as if trying to pull you back from the edge. Your shoes scrape against the concrete ledge, the slight tremble in your legs betraying the battle waging within. The night air smells faintly of rain, metallic and crisp, mingling with the faint hum of traffic below.
You steady your phone in your trembling hand, its cold surface grounding you momentarily. A notification pings, an ironic reminder that life continues to tick on, indifferent to the turmoil within you. The camera lens reflects the shimmer of unshed tears as you hit record, the small red dot staring back like a silent witness.
A smile formsโ€”hesitant, broken. Then another, and another, each one a mask that crumbles too soon. โ€œTo everyone who still cares,โ€ you begin, your voice low and cracking, โ€œSemi, sweet, innocent Semi. Jieun, always so patient. Jongseong... my husbandโ€™s shadow in every way. My sister, my friends, all of you who tried.โ€
The wind picks up, whipping strands of hair across your face as you pause, the weight of the unsaid pressing on your chest. You blink rapidly, tears slipping free, their warmth stinging against your cold cheeks. โ€œJake wouldn't want this. I know he'd call me stubborn, weak even.โ€ You let out a hollow laugh, the sound swallowed by the wind. โ€œBut he wouldnโ€™t understand how loud it is in the silence he left behind.โ€
Your heart hammers as you shift your weight, the city seeming to inhale with you, holding its breath in anticipation. The edge of the building digs into the soles of your feet, the space between you and the world below both terrifying and liberating.
โ€œI miss the little moments, Jake,โ€ you whisper, voice breaking as you squeeze your eyes shut. โ€œI miss you making me feel lonely, and now... now Iโ€™m lonelier without you.โ€ The ache in your chest is unbearable, a cavernous void that steals your breath.
One last deep breath, air burning through your lungs, and you step forward. The world blurs into a rush of sound and sensationโ€”wind roaring in your ears, your body weightless, suspended in a moment between despair and peace.
And then the fall hits.
Pain surges through you, sharp and overwhelming, before darkness takes over. Around you, the chaos erupts into a cacophonyโ€”screams, the frantic pounding of feet, and the sharp cry of ambulance sirens slicing through the night. But these sounds are drifting away, becoming faint murmurs from a world slipping out of reach.
Silence wraps around you, one that made you feel like everything would be okay after this. Maybe, just maybe, peace waits on the other side. In death.
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YOU WALK THROUGH THE DENSE, MILKY FOG, EACH REVERBERATING IN AN ECHO THAT NEVER QUITE SETTLES. The air is cool, feather-light, whispering like distant memories. Is this heaven? The question circles in your mind, unspoken. If it is, where is Jake? A quiet laugh escapes your lips, hollow. He couldnโ€™t have done enough wrong to land in hell, you think, the hint of humor biting through your longing. Yet, the anticipation twists your heartโ€”an ache that makes you want to see him so desperately.
You try to call out, โ€œJake?โ€ but the sound stays trapped in your chest, choked by the thick fog. Another step forward and thereโ€™s nothing but endless white, stretching out, swallowing you whole. Your breath catches; suddenly, the air thins, compressing your lungs, squeezing out every ounce of oxygen. You gasp, your hands clawing at the invisible force stealing your breath. It feels like drowning in emptiness.
Thenโ€”without warningโ€”everything shifts. White light erupts around you, blinding and all-consuming. You brace for oblivion, muscles tensing for an end youโ€™re sure is near. But instead, thereโ€™s a softness beneath youโ€”a mattress that cradles you like an embrace you forgot.
Your eyes snap open, pupils adjusting to the familiar pale ceiling. Itโ€™s your ceiling. Your shared room. The bed, the faint scent of Jakeโ€™s cologne still lingering in the sheets, as if he just left. You sit up, heart thundering, hands brushing over your body frantically. No pain, no bruises, no broken bonesโ€”nothing. Youโ€™re whole, intact.
Then the realization hits you like cold water, and your fingers tremble as you pull them away.
โ€œWhat theโ€ฆ?โ€ you murmur, eyes darting around, seeking answers that the silent room wonโ€™t give. Your gaze falls to the phone on the bedside table, its screen blank and mocking in its stillness. You grab it, breath hitching as the time blinks to life.
January 29th, 2024. 6:30 a.m.
A shiver races down your spine. The date stares back at you, sharp and impossible. You set the phone down, legs feeling weak as you stand and approach the mirror. Your reflection isnโ€™t that of a woman who has been weeping endlessly. Your eyes, dry and wide, reflect confusion rather than the storm of emotions that you carry.
โ€œIs this one of those flashes they say you see before death?โ€ Your voice trembles as the words escape, and you reach up to touch the cold glass. The girl looking back at you does the same, fingers meeting yours in a silent plea.
Then, your eyes catch it. The blue gel pen resting on the dresserโ€”a pen that has no place outside your drawer. Itโ€™s a small thing, but the sight of it makes your breath hitch. Memories slice through you, sharp and unforgiving. That pen was the one youโ€™d used for the note to Jake, the one that demanded space, an end.
โ€œNo,โ€ you breathe out, shaking your head, bile rising in your throat. The pen feels like a cruel token, mocking you for what came after. In a swift motion, you snatch it up, the cold plastic biting into your skin as you grip it tight. The weight of your guilt, your regret, turns your stomach, and with a sudden burst of anger, you hurl the pen into the trash, its clatter punctuating the silence like a final plea.
Chest heaving, you close your eyes. If this is some kind of twisted second chance, you donโ€™t know if you should feel terror or relief. But the room, the sheets, the absence on the other side of the bedโ€”everything points to one impossible truth.
Youโ€™re back.
But this isn't a romance novel, is it?
Your eyes trail back to the empty bed, where Jake should be. โ€œJake?โ€ The name falls from your lips, hopeful, trembling, but the silence stretches on, suffocating.
Your heart thuds like a wild drumbeat, erratic and desperate, the rhythm matched only by the single hope that propels you forward: seeing Jake. Alive. Healthy. Breathing.
You practically jog out of the shared bedroom, your bare feet sliding slightly on the hardwood floor as you turn the corner. The guest room door is ajar, a sliver of dim light illuminating the narrow hallway. The pulse in your chest quickens, breaths shallower with each step until you reach the threshold. You pause, drawing in a trembling breath before stepping inside.
There he is. Jake. Lying on his side, dark hair fanned messily over the pillow, the soft rise and fall of his chest hypnotic in its simplicity. Relief washes over you so powerfully that your knees almost buckle. You inch closer, careful not to make a sound. The blanket is snug around his torso, exposing his bare, muscular chestโ€”the way he prefers when heโ€™s alone. Your throat tightens at the sight, familiar yet so foreign now.
Your hand, almost on its own accord, hovers over his face, fingers trembling as you place them under his nose. The soft, warm breath that meets your touch is enough to sting your eyes with unshed tears. Your hand drifts down, resting against his chest, where you can feel the steady thrum of his heartbeatโ€”a rhythm you thought youโ€™d never sense again.
Jake stirs, the sudden shift pulling you out of your trance. His eyelids flutter open, dark eyes glazed with sleep but sharpening as they land on you. He blinks once, then again, brows drawing together.
โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€ His voice, rough with sleep, carries a note of confusion that makes your hand fall away as though burned.
โ€œI-Iโ€ฆโ€ The words snag in your throat, scrambling to make sense of the madness. How could you possibly explain? Your eyes dart nervously to the floor, heat searing your cheeks as you mutter, โ€œI missed your kisses.โ€
The room freezes. You can feel the weight of his gaze, heavy with disbelief. He shifts, sitting up, and the blanket slips down to his waist, revealing the sharp lines of his torso. Your eyes betray you, flickering over the familiar planes before darting away in embarrassment.
โ€œButโ€ฆ we never kiss,โ€ he says, voice low and edged with confusion. The statement slices through you, painfully reminding you of the distance you both had grown used to.
โ€œI know... I...โ€ you whisper, fingers clenching into fists at your sides. The silence stretches, heavy, until the sharp trill of his phone alarm shatters it. Jakeโ€™s attention shifts, eyes narrowing as he leans to silence it. When he looks up again, the space where you stood is empty.
You rush back to your room, shutting the door behind you with a soft thud, heart hammering in your chest. Sliding down until you sit with your back pressed against the cool wood, you cover your flushed face with shaking hands. Your pulse thunders in your ears, mixing with the replay of his sleepy voice, the fleeting touch of his warmth.
Is this really the past? The question festers, tugging at the edges of logic, but the ache in your chest and the rawness of your emotions tell you it is. And if so, this year holds one horrifying certainty: Jakeโ€™s death.
The mere thought twists something deep inside you, bringing back the soul-crushing grief, the endless nights of regret. You glance down at your wrist, breath catching as your eyes lock on the ink-black date that marks it: November 4th. The day Jake dies.
Frantically, you rub at the skin, as if the stubborn mark will simply smudge away under your touch. But it doesnโ€™t. The date remains, stark and immovable, taunting you.
A shiver crawls up your spine, but then a thoughtโ€”a glimmer of defianceโ€”roots itself.
What if you change it? What if this was given to you, not as a cruel joke, but a chance to rewrite what went so terribly wrong? To love him in a way you never did and save him from the fate that once tore your entire world apart.
โ€œI can do this,โ€ you whisper, determination threading into your voice. The regret may have once paralyzed you, but now it fuels you. If you only have until that date, then every second will be spent fighting fate, no matter how impossible it seems.
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THE SOFT MURMUR OF THE COUPLEโ€™S CONVERSATION DRIFTS DOWN THE STERILE HOSPITAL CORRIDOR, brushing against your ears like a whispered secret. The woman lies propped against crisp white pillows, her leg encased in a cast, eyes fixed on her partner with a blend of exhaustion and comfort. He leans forward, fingers interlaced with hers, voice low and tender.
โ€œCan you please see what's wrong?โ€ he asks, eyes glistening with concern. He gently squeezes her hand, words spilling out as quiet reassurances. โ€œYou're doing so well, love. It's going to be okay.โ€
A tight warmth coils in your chest as you approach, a familiar pang of bittersweetness shadowing the sight. The love, the unwavering devotion-it's moments like these that remind you why you cherish your job. The fragility of life, held together by threads of connection, has always moved you, even when those threads unraveled in your own life.
When you started nursing, blood was your greatest fear, the sight once enough to turn your stomach. Time had softened those edges, transforming anxiety into steady resolve. It was also during those early years when you married Jake, the man whose smile was warm enough to banish shadows but whose presence now only haunted your memories. The marriage had lasted five years before everything shattered with the crash.
No. Stop. The thought rushes at you like a wave, cold and suffocating. You grit your teeth, eyes burning as you push it down, push him down, refusing to let the grief claw at you. He's alive here, in this fragile present you've been thrust into. Don't let the past bleed into now.
โ€œSure,โ€ you say softly, the practiced smile you wear settling on your face. You reach out, fingers moving gently over the girl's cast, checking the edges, ensuring everything is as it should be. She nods in silent gratitude, eyes fluttering shut with relief as her partner exhales.
The end of your shift arrives with the deep hues of twilight stretching across the sky. The drive home is long, punctuated by the soft rumble of the engine and the anxious thrum of your thoughts. Your fingers drum against the steering wheel, tapping out a nervous rhythm. Avoid home, your mind suggests, listing off a million errands you suddenly think of, any excuse to delay the inevitable.
But the excuses run dry when you're standing in front of your door, keys cold against your palm. The air outside is crisp, biting at your cheeks as you draw a deep breath and hold it. The weight of the morningโ€”Jake's sleepy, questioning eyes and the ghost of your impulsive words-hangs between you and the door.
โ€œIs it too late to back down?โ€ The whisper escapes your lips, trembling in the chilly silence. You picture his expression, the puzzled furrow of his brow as he replayed your words. The way his fingers brushed over his phone, gaze lifted just in time to see you flee. He isn't stupid. Jake never was.
With a sigh, you slip the key into the lock, the click loud and final. The door opens, and warmth spills out to meet you, along with the faint scent of his cologne. Your pulse quickens as you step inside, the hum of your heartbeat louder than the quiet creak of the floor under your weight.
Don't run, you tell yourself, even as the urge coils tight in your muscles. You close the door behind you.
As you push open the front door, the faint glow of the television casts flickering shadows across the living room. There he is-your husband, Jake, reclined on the couch, eyes fixed intently on the news. His brows knit slightly as a montage of suited politicians gestures on screen, their voices droning promises as hollow as a whisper in the wind.
He is basically watching those politicians give some weird and untrue promises for the sake of votes.
How romantic. How normal. The bitter thought twists in your chest. But it isn't. Nothing about this is normal. Why would he be watching the news, of all things? Then, a pang of irony hits you like a wave. How hypocritical, you think. You promised Jake your forever in a ceremony that now feels like an echo. The vows shared between you had been spoken out loud but never truly lived.
You shake the memory away, an old wound you refuse to pick at as you step inside, the floor cool under your feet. Jake doesn't notice you at first, his attention locked on the screen, oblivious to the fact that the person who left him a note asking for space now stands in the doorway, wrestling with the tension roiling inside her.
โ€œHey,โ€ you finally say, the word falling between you like an anchor. It comes out awkward, unsure, a fragile hope that he won't read too much into it. But Jake's eyes flick to yours, a spark of recognition cooling to something unreadable.
โ€œYou're back home?โ€ His voice is measured, neither warm nor cold, but there's a tightness to it that you can't ignore. He shifts, the blue glow of the screen catching the sharp line of his jaw as he waits for your response.
The note. You had slipped it into his hand, asking for a break from a marriage four years deep but hollow. Your heart thuds in your chest, fingers clenched at your side as you speak before fear can pull the words back.
โ€œThe note-I take it back. I don't want a break from you or this relationship, Jake.โ€
The silence that follows is heavy, broken only by the low hum of the news anchor's voice. His eyes search yours, a hint of disbelief darkening the warm brown you once memorized. โ€œWhy?โ€ The question slices through the quiet, clipped and cautious. You almost flinch at the hardness there, a wall built brick by brick in your absence.
โ€œBecause I don't want to stay away from you.โ€ Your voice trembles, raw honesty exposed between you like an open wound. Jake's eyes widen slightly, the stoic mask cracking as a flush creeps across his cheeks.
โ€œY-You're blushing?โ€ The soft, astonished laugh tumbles out of you, a momentary break in the storm that makes you feel like you're standing on the edge of something new. The corners of his mouth twitch, the faintest sign of a smile, but he shakes his head.
โ€œNo, I'm not. I'm just... cold,โ€ he mutters, the lie transparent.
โ€œSure, sir. You're just cold.โ€ You chuckle, sinking onto the floor beside the couch, knees drawn up as you hug them close. The laughter is sharp, almost giddy, the sound foreign in the room that has held so many silences.
Jake watches you, confusion settling into his features, the red on his cheeks fading as he leans forward, elbows on his knees. โ€œYou're acting weird,โ€ he murmurs, the words half swallowed, uncertain.
โ€œHow am I acting weird if I'm seeing my husband show some attraction to me, which isn't platonic, for the first time?โ€ The jest slips out, tinged with sincerity, but it brings a hush over both of you. The truth stands stark between you, glaring and painful. For a moment, neither of you speak, each of you weighed down by memories, by the heavy knowledge of what's been lost and what still aches to be found.
But determination flares in your chest, a stubborn warmth. So what if love had been absent before? So what if promises were half-kept and hearts guarded? You could start again. You could relearn how to be two flawed people willing to try. Your gaze meets Jake's, the hope in your eyes unyielding.
Don't let go, you silently plead. Let this be the start of something real.
Jake clears his throat, a subtle attempt to dissolve the tension settling over the living room like a blanket too heavy to lift. His fingers fidget, running nervously over the seam of the couch as he shifts his gaze downward. There you are, still seated on the floor, legs tucked to one side, eyes catching the soft glow from the TV. Cute, he thinks, the word rolling silently through his mind, too heavy with unsaid truths to speak aloud.
โ€œSo...โ€ The word escapes him, thin and unfinished, hovering in the air. His eyes flit over your face, searching for a reaction. The awkwardness clings to the silence, but you don't falter.
โ€œSo?โ€ you echo, your tone a notch steadier, holding the slight tremor that betrays your effort. You lean forward just slightly, a gesture that feels braver than it is. If courage could rewrite fate, you'd wield it now, not just for yourself, but for him. For Jake, who might not know the sharp edge of reality that's cut you.
He rubs the back of his neck, glancing to the side where the blue light paints his profile in soft, wavering lines. โ€œYou know... Semi's birthday is next week.โ€ His words stumble, trailing off as if second-guessing their own existence. But you aren't in the dark. You know exactly what this moment leads to.
โ€œYes, I'd love to go shopping for gifts for her,โ€ you respond, your voice quick and practiced. His eyes widen, caught off guard, the surprise stark against his usual composed expression. The tension in his jaw slackens, and he blinks, unsure if he heard you right.
โ€œExcuse me?โ€ He stares at you, the faint crease between his brows deepening.
โ€œIsn't that what you were about to ask?โ€ You tilt your head slightly, a small smile playing at your lips, testing him. He hesitates, realizing that denial means trouble, but his face softens into a relieved kind of acceptance.
โ€œNo, no... of course. You could... accompany me to shop for Semi's birthday presents.โ€ His voice picks up, the uncertainty lifting as he finds the path back to normalcy. He notices your smile widening, the tension slipping just enough to let him breathe.
โ€œOkay then, see you tomorrow, husband.โ€ The word slips from you, unbidden, laced with a warmth that surprises even you as you turn on your heel. You make your way toward the guest room, feet padding softly against the floor. Jake's brows knit again, eyes following your form until you pause, hand on the frame of the doorway.
โ€œWhy are you heading to the guest room?โ€ His question is quick, a thread of confusion laced with something else-something vulnerable.
โ€œBecause we sleep apart, and I wouldn't want my husband's back to break on that stiff, rough bed. The sheets aren't even comfortable,โ€ you say, voice light but with an edge that dares him to react. You step into the room, but glance over your shoulder with eyes that glimmer, a playful smirk pulling at your lips. โ€œBesides, I'd rather you break your back or get tired doing me than struggling on a bed.โ€
His jaw drops, eyes wide with stunned silence as the door closes between you. Jake sits back, eyes fixed on the now-empty hallway, replaying the moment in disbelief. The wife who barely spoke above a whisper at their wedding, who tiptoed through years of silence, had just turned the tables with a single teasing line. His pulse hammers beneath the stillness.
What on earth just happened?
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โ€œARE YOU TELLING ME Y/N JUST TURNED INTO A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON?โ€ Jay's voice, casual yet curious, echoes through the phone. He's speaking to Jake, who shifts from foot to foot, eyes glancing around the boutique as he waits for you to finish picking out a dress for his niece. The sound of soft music drifts around him, mixing with murmurs of other shoppers.
โ€œExactly that!โ€ Jake's voice comes out louder than intended, drawing looks from the store's staff. A woman in a sleek uniform, brows raised in disapproval, approaches with a pointed glare.
โ€œSir, please keep your voice down or refrain from talking altogether,โ€ she says, sternly but professional.
Jake's ears burn as embarrassment blooms across his face. โ€œYeah, I'm sorryโ€ he mutters, running a hand through his hair.
Through the phone, Jay's laughter rings clear and unapologetic. โ€œYou seriously got told off by staff? Man, you're killing me!โ€ Jay's chuckles fade into a smirk that Jake can practically hear. Jay's the same as he's always been-playful, relentless, the older brother who teases but listens when it counts.
โ€œFine, fine, I'll stop. Tell me what you mean by Y/N changing, just... keep it PG, will you?โ€ Jay's tone is teasing, but curiosity laces through.
Jake's jaw tightens, eyes scanning the store for you as if your sudden return would put him on the spot. โ€œThere's nothing intimate going on between us,โ€ he blurts, the words a knee-jerk reaction. His chest tightens with the memory of you resting your hand on him in your sleep last week, the way warmth had crept through him then. He clears his throat. โ€œI mean, she's talking to me more, being... sweet. She listens. It's almost... submissive.โ€
โ€œI told you, no bedroom details!โ€ Jay chimes in, sarcasm sharp enough to make Jake's teeth clench.
โ€œTHIS IS NOT A BEDROOM DETAIL!!!โ€ Jake retorts, frustration coloring his tone. It earns him another hard look from the store associate across the room, who pointedly glances over her glasses. Jake sighs and mouths an apology again, shoulders drooping as he lowers his voice.
โ€œWhat I mean is, she's more... attentive. She's not arguing as much. It's like she's listening to me for the first time.โ€
Jay's voice softens, just a hint of seriousness slipping through. โ€œIsn't that how she always is with others?โ€
โ€œYeah, with everyone else. Just not with me,โ€ Jake admits, the admission heavy with a history neither of them mention.
โ€œInteresting.โ€ Jay's reply is contemplative, but before he can say more, Jake's voice interrupts, distorted through the line. โ€œOh shoot, she's coming back. I'll call you later.โ€
As the call ends, Jake pockets his phone, glancing up just in time to see you walking back with a smile. Jay, on the other side of the city, sets his phone down, a smirk playing at his lips as he thinks of sharing this tidbit with his wife later. Whatever was happening between his brother and sister-in-law, it was about to get even more intriguing.
On the other side, Jake stands, a mixture of amusement and curiosity on his face as you hold up a tiny pink dress. It's perfectly frilly, fit for a little girl. But all he can think is how charming it would look in a size for youโ€”a thought that makes him shake his head, realizing how ridiculous it sounds.
โ€œSo, what do you think? Should I get this for Semi?โ€ you ask, eyes sparkling with anticipation. There's already a growing collection of clothes for his niece in your arms, a reminder of how you've embraced being part of his family.
โ€œAre you getting all of them?โ€ he asks, more out of shock than judgment. He never imagined children's clothes could come with such hefty price tags.
โ€œYes, why? Is this too much? I can cover it ifโ€”โ€
Before you can finish, he interrupts, affronted. โ€œI'll pay. It's for my lady, after all.โ€
The statement hangs in the air, not romantic as he'd intended but awkward, making your brows twitch slightly. You resist the urge to grimace, forcing a polite smile instead.
A staff member, the same one who had shushed Jake earlier, walks over with an unimpressed expression, exchanging a silent, almost comic glare with him. She gave Jake a look that said 'you're weird and I don't want to talk to you'
'what have I ever done to you' was the look that Jake presented back to the staff before she looked away. You glance between them, slightly confused. Then Jake clears his throat, moving the conversation forward.
โ€œDo you have a similar dress in a bigger size?โ€ His voice drops to almost a whisper. He feels self-conscious asking, but the idea has stuck.
The staff member blinks, taken aback. โ€œExcuse me?โ€ She tilts her head, uncertain if she heard right.
โ€œYeah, do you have something like this,โ€ Jake gestures at the dress in your hands, โ€œbut, you know, for an adult?โ€ A flush of red creeps across his cheeks as he points to you. The staff member nods after a moment, walking off to search, while you stand there stunned, watching her go.
โ€œWhy are you buying something for me? Semiโ€™s dress is already pricey. A woman's size will beโ€”โ€
โ€œIt's just a dress,โ€ he interrupts with a small sigh, eyes softening. โ€œThink of it as a gift.โ€
โ€œBut today isn't anything special.โ€
โ€œMaybe not. But I'd like to make it special,โ€ he replies, voice lowering. โ€œI haven't given you anything since our wedding. That was four years ago.โ€ His words carry a quiet vulnerability as he looks at you, taller and more serious than you expect. You hold his gaze before shifting and mumbling a reluctant, โ€œFine,โ€ looking away to hide the way your cheeks warm.
The staff returns holding a similar dress, but in an adult size. It's pink, short, and undeniably cute-something that looks a little too daring for your style.
โ€œWill this do?โ€ she asks.
โ€œAbsolutely not,โ€ โ€œhell yeah,โ€ you and Jake say in unison. The staff's eyebrows raise as she turns to you, sensing you as the more level-headed one.
โ€œWe're not buying it,โ€ you insist, giving Jake a look.
He doubles down. โ€œWe are.โ€
โ€œJake, no.โ€
โ€œWhy not?โ€
โ€œIt's too short!โ€ you argue, exasperated. He shrugs, eyes softening as he counters, โ€œIt's knee-length. That's normal.โ€
With a dramatic sigh, you roll your eyes and give in. But you don't try it on in the store; the idea of wearing it in front of him makes your heart thud with a mix of nerves and embarrassment. After all, you've barely even shared a bed in weeksโ€”how could you possibly show him a dress like that now?
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JAKEโ€™S HEART STOPS FOR A MOMENT AS HE TAKES IN THE SIGHT BEFORE HIM. You, standing in the baby pink dress that hugs your figure just right, with its soft fabric brushing just above your knees. The playful, shy smile you wear as you twirl slightly sends a wave of warmth through him. He never expected to see you like this; the reality strikes him so suddenly that it leaves him breathless.
The laughter of Semi fills the room as she runs around in her matching pink dress, giggling and pulling you along by the hand. The soft glow of the post-birthday celebration lights casts a golden hue, warming up the atmosphere in the living room. Jake sits on the edge of the couch, one hand resting on his knee as he watches you and Semi, his gaze softening with an emotion he hasn't felt in what seems like ages.
A gentle nudge breaks his trance, and he turns to see his mother looking at him with raised brows and a hopeful gleam. โ€œWhen are you two going to have kids?โ€ she asks, her voice light but laced with longing.
The air in the room shifts. You pause mid-spin, eyes darting to Jake with a look of surprise. This isn't part of the script of your past life; this question throws you off balance, the sudden attention making your heart race.
Jake's father, seated across with a glass of wine in his hand, lets out a dramatic sigh. โ€œI think I'll be long gone before I see any grandchildren from this one,โ€ he jokes, though the weight behind it is unmistakable. The statement slices through the room's cheerful mood, leaving an awkward silence in its wake. Jake's jaw tightens, a subtle tension creeping up his spine. He wants kids too, he really doesโ€”but not in a house that feels as unstable as theirs has become.
Before he can respond, you surprise everyone, including yourself. โ€œWe're trying,โ€ you say, the words slipping out with practiced ease, even as your pulse pounds. The room freezes, all eyes turning toward you in shock.
Jake's eyebrows lift in silent question, but he plays along, shifting to put on an unreadable expression. He nods, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips as he covers the uncertainty boiling beneath. The room shifts back into a mixture of excitement and surprise.
โ€œIs that true? You're both trying?โ€ Jake's mother's eyes glisten, her hope rekindled as she looks between you and her son.
โ€œReally?โ€ Jake's father echoes, leaning forward, his earlier sarcasm replaced by genuine interest.
Jay, standing near the fireplace, furrows his brow, lips parting in disbelief. Only last week, Jake had confided in him about how distant and weird things had become between you two.
Jake forces a chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck. โ€œYeah... we've been trying for a while.โ€ The lie feels heavy in his mouth, and he shoots you a look that says, Why'd you lie about that?
Your sister-in-law, Jieun, raises her hand, pointing at you with wide eyes. โ€œSince when?โ€ she blurts out, unable to contain her shock.
Jake stutters, โ€œIt's been a-a month,โ€ the answer sounding rehearsed yet shaky. He glances at you again, his eyes pleading for an explanation that won't come.
The conversation quickly shifts into an excited buzz, with well-meaning wishes from your in-laws filling the air. You catch Jake's gaze, and despite the tight-lipped smile you give the family, there's a flicker of humor in your eyes. The absurdity of it all makes you want to laugh.
You both know the truth: the notion of trying for a child is impossibly far from reality.
Heck, it was funny for you to watch.
You were still a virgin. You two didn't even kiss more than once in those four years and they expect a baby to suddenly pop out of you?
And once the party winds down, you find yourself sitting on the couch with Semi by your side. Her wide, curious eyes shine with excitement as she swings her legs back and forth. At just four years old, she's a bundle of endless questions and innocent wonder.
You smile, reaching over to gently ruffle her soft, dark hair. โ€œDoes the birthday girl like her dress?โ€ you ask, voice playful.
Semi beams, glancing down at the pink ruffled dress with pride. โ€œIt's so pretty,โ€ she chirps, then looks up at you with a thoughtful expression. โ€œBut yours is prettier. You always look pretty, Aunty.โ€
Your heart melts, and you chuckle softly. โ€œAww, you learned how to give compliments, huh?โ€ you tease, watching as her cheeks turn rosy and she averts her gaze to fiddle with her fingers.
โ€œAunty!โ€ she whines, wanting you to stop teasing. Her eyes sparkle with mischief as she leans in closer and motions for you to do the same. With a curious tilt of your head, you move closer, letting her whisper into your ear. โ€œWill you eat a baby to have a baby?โ€ she asks, voice so serious it makes you freeze for a moment.
You stifle a laugh, your eyes crinkling at the edges. Gently cupping her cheek, you whisper back, โ€œNo, sweetie. That's not how it works. But that's grown-up stuff, and we don't talk about it now, do we?โ€
Semi giggles, her little fingers playing with a toy she received from her grandmother. The sight makes your chest tighten in a bittersweet way. You can almost picture your mother-in-law doting on a future child, fussing over toys and tiny clothes. The thought sends a shiver down your spine, making you shake your head lightly as if to dispel the image.
But a small part of you can't help but smile at the idea, a blush rising to your cheeks. The dream is distant, almost unreachable, and not yet yours to claim.
When you and Jake step out into the cold night, the air nips at your exposed legs below your knees. The dress he had picked out for you, delicate and pastel pink, offers little warmth, and the heels are beginning to pinch with every step. You trail behind him, taking careful, aching strides to avoid twisting your ankle.
Jake notices, stopping suddenly to turn toward you, eyes scanning your shivering frame. โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ His gaze softens as he realizes how exposed you are, legs trembling from the chill. Without hesitating, he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. The sudden warmth is welcome, but your teeth still chatter as you mutter, โ€œWish I had something covering my legs instead.โ€
He exhales, half exasperated, half amused, before a wry smile forms. โ€œShould I carry you like a princess? Youโ€™d be warm then.โ€
Surprised, you bite back a retort, matching his teasing tone with confidence. โ€œMaybe you should.โ€
Jakeโ€™s eyebrows shoot up, stunned. โ€œWait, what?โ€
โ€œChill, I was just joking,โ€ you mumble, looking down at the ground. But before you know it, heโ€™s stopped again, this time dropping to one knee. Your eyes widen in shock. โ€œWHAT THE HELL?โ€ you blurt out, stepping back in reflex, heat rising to your cheeks at the unexpected gesture. (more so because you believed he was trying to look up your dress)
Jake looks up, mildly annoyed but patient. โ€œIโ€™m helping you,โ€ he says simply. Before you can argue, he pulls out a pair of slippers from a little carry bag he had brought from home. The realization hits, softening your expression as he glances up. โ€œLift your leg.โ€
You comply, feeling foolish for your earlier outburst. He slips the heels off your feet and replaces them with the soft slippers, careful and precise as if proving he has no ulterior motive. The chill in the air suddenly seems less biting.
โ€œYou had these the whole time?โ€ you ask, voice softer now, eyes wide with realization. He places the heels into the carry bag, stands up, and meets your gaze with a smirk.
โ€œYeah. Thought you might need them,โ€ he says, a hint of smugness in his tone. Youโ€™re about to thank him when he reminds you with a mock-accusing look, โ€œAnd you were ready to accuse me of being a pervert.โ€
The memory makes you feel small, but you muster a sheepish, โ€œSorry.โ€
He shakes his head, a touch of amusement in his eyes as the two of you start walking again, your steps now confident and comfortable. His jacket around your shoulders holds a warmth that seems to seep straight to your heart.
โ€œSo...โ€ Jakeโ€™s voice cuts through the silence, the question you've been dreading finally arriving. โ€œWhy did you lie about... us trying for a baby?โ€ His tone is cautious, probing.
You sigh, the answer already clear in your mind. โ€œIt was the only way to get them to stop bothering us,โ€ you admit. A pause follows, your gaze flitting up to meet his. You donโ€™t dare to say more, not with your secret burden loomingโ€”coming from a future where he is no longer alive and your mission is to keep him safe.
Jake hums in agreement, the tension easing a bit. โ€œI canโ€™t argue with that.โ€ A comfortable silence settles between you, only broken by the sound of your footsteps. He glances at you again and asks, โ€œAre you hungry?โ€
As if on cue, your stomach grumbles. Relief flashes across his face before he reaches out, taking your hand and leading you forward. The two of you approach a small, tucked-away restaurant, its sign faded but familiar. Jakeโ€™s eyes light up. โ€œYou have to try the cold coffee from that cafรฉ across the street,โ€ he points out, the fondness in his voice unmistakable.
You nod, memories flickering back. His odd, endearing preferences were things you never forgot. โ€œFish curry with plain rice and some shrimp on the side?โ€ you guess, eyes twinkling with recognition.
Jakeโ€™s head snaps to you, surprise clear as day. He stares, a laugh escaping him as he shakes his head. โ€œSince when did you start memorizing my favorites?โ€
You had heard about his fav things to eat from your brother in law, Jay. But Jake never said it to you himself so the boy was pretty much stunned when you literally memorised them, as if you were waiting to flex this whole time.
You offer a small, knowing smile. โ€œI have my ways.โ€
The waiter arrives promptly with your orders, and the rich aroma fills the space between you and Jake. He takes a bite, but pauses, eyes drifting to you with a soft, contemplative expression. โ€œWeโ€™ve never done this beforeโ€ฆโ€ he murmurs, his tone a mix of realization and gentle amusement.
You tilt your head, savoring a piece of shrimp. โ€œYou mean this date?โ€ you ask, half-smiling.
โ€œYeah. I guess thatโ€™s what I mean,โ€ he replies, taking a moment before continuing, as if gathering the courage. โ€œI like it. I like how we are now.โ€ He takes a sip of water, and the way he watches you is tender, raw. His hand slides across the table to rest over yours, fingers warm against your skin.
โ€œI donโ€™t know what changed, but Iโ€ฆโ€ He hesitates, eyes locking with yours, a profound intensity that silences you. โ€œI like how weโ€™re not avoiding each other anymore, how we talk instead of fighting over every little thing.โ€
The sincerity in his words pierces through you, tugging at memories of a future where his absence left a hollow ache in your chest. The pain youโ€™d carried, the distance, the lossโ€”all of it feels heavy in this moment, but now, something else unfurls within you. An unexpected warmth that swells as his thumb brushes over your knuckles.
He draws in a shaky breath. โ€œI know Iโ€™m not perfect. Iโ€™ve made mistakes, maybe too many, and thatโ€™s why we kept drifting apart in those four years we were married. But I want us to stay like this. Is that too much to ask for?โ€ His voice cracks, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
The depth of emotion he shows takes your breath away, and your vision blurs as your own tears spill over. The raw honesty in his confession reaches a part of you that had long been buried under grief and guilt. But this isnโ€™t griefโ€”itโ€™s something different, a warmth that wraps around you and fills the spaces that loss once consumed.
โ€œJakeโ€ฆโ€ you whisper, voice trembling. He blinks rapidly, tears tracing paths down his cheeks as he tries to manage a laugh, a hand lifting to wipe at his face. โ€œDid I go too overboard?โ€ he chuckles, awkwardly, brushing his fingers over yours, an attempt to ease the intensity.
But you canโ€™t answer with words, your heart too full. Instead, you wipe your own tears away, watching him as he takes a deep breath and resumes eating, eyes still red-rimmed, his emotions raw and vivid between you. The silence that follows is... a little satisfying this time around. Your chest tightens, and you realize this feelingโ€”this unexpected, overwhelming tendernessโ€”is the spark you hadnโ€™t felt in what feels like forever.
The confession... It did something to you. It made you feel things or you believed so.
You reach for his hand, this time without hesitation, and hold on as if anchoring both of you to this moment. A shared glance tells him everything you canโ€™t yet put into words: youโ€™re here, with him, and for now, thatโ€™s enough.
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AS THE DAYS PASSED FOLLOWING THAT UNEXPECTED DINNER, a subtle shift had occurred between you and Jake. It had been a month since then, and despite your hectic livesโ€”you, a dedicated nurse, and him, an ambitious lawyerโ€”something had changed. You continued to sleep separately, a necessity due to your conflicting schedules. Late nights saw you returning home to find Jake already asleep, and early mornings had him leaving before you awoke. This unspoken arrangement was born out of mutual respect for each otherโ€™s rest.
However, the reminder of the future haunted you. The date on your wrist, November 4th, hadnโ€™t faded or smudged. It remained stark and vivid, a grim reminder of the fate you knew awaited Jake, filling you with silent dread.
Despite your busy lives, the dinner at that small restaurant had stirred something unspoken between you. A shared tenderness had taken root, and in the brief pauses between work, you found yourself drawn to those moments that whispered of possibilitiesโ€”moments that spoke of a bond that hadnโ€™t existed before.
The room feels charged with an unspoken tension as you stand there, watching Jake. The question slips from your lips, โ€œAre we sleeping separately again?โ€ masking the tremble in your voice with an attempt at confidence. Jakeโ€™s eyes meet yours, an amused smile playing on his lips as he tilts his head. โ€œDo you want to sleep with me?โ€ he asks, casual yet knowing.
You stammer, trying to find an answer that wonโ€™t reveal how vulnerable you feel. โ€œNoโ€”yesโ€”butโ€”โ€ The uncertainty in your voice makes him chuckle softly, the sound sending warmth through your chest. The realization of your feelings for him washes over you again, clear and inescapable.
โ€œItโ€™s normal to want to sleep with your husband. Donโ€™t worry,โ€ he says reassuringly. His tone is light, yet thereโ€™s an edge of tenderness as he turns and walks to the bedroom. He pauses at the doorway, looking back with an expectant eyebrow raise, and you follow.
Inside, the dim light casts soft shadows. The atmosphere feels different tonight, heightened by the realization that, while youโ€™ve shared this space before, this moment feels profoundly intimate. He hesitates for a moment, the usual playful confidence in his manner replaced by a quiet consideration.
Should he lie down first?
Wait for you?
Or speak?
โ€œYou donโ€™t need to worry. I wonโ€™t touch you unless you want me to. We could even put a pillow between us if you prefer,โ€ he says in a rush, trying to ease the tension. But his words leave you both flushed. You respond, flustered yet honest, โ€œNoโ€”you can touch meโ€”I mean...โ€
Jakeโ€™s eyes widen, and a surprised silence falls over you both, broken only by your slightly quickened breaths.
Finally, you break it, murmuring, โ€œSo... do we sleep?โ€ You wish the dim light hides your expression, but Jakeโ€™s shifting on the bed signals that heโ€™s as unsettled as you are. He lies down first, and you follow, settling into the bed with a space that feels simultaneously too close and too distant.
Minutes pass as the darkness deepens around you. Youโ€™re aware of every sound, every breath he takes, and the slight rustle of sheets as you both try to find comfort. The knowledge that heโ€™s staying dressed out of respect doesnโ€™t escape you, and neither does the chill that seeps through the room, despite the blanket. Itโ€™s enough to make sleep elusive, even as your heart drums with quiet, unspoken hope.
The air feels thick with tension as neither of you can fall asleep, despite the dim light and the shared silence. Jake gently sits up, his voice breaking the stillness. โ€œIโ€™ll get changed into my night clothesโ€”this is uncomfortable. You should get changed too,โ€ he suggests. His words are practical, but they stir a shyness inside you. The thought of wearing shorts around him makes you feel self-conscious, though the blanket and darkness give you some comfort.
With a deep breath, you agree. You grab your oversized top and shorts, retreating to the bathroom to change. When you return, Jake is already asleep, dressed in a soft T-shirt and shorts. His peaceful expression makes a pang of guilt settle in your chest. You feel both relief and unease at the same time, knowing heโ€™s so close yet so far away.
You lie there, tense in the stillness of the night. Jakeโ€™s hand lands instinctively on your stomach, the warmth of his touch sending a jolt through you. You hold your breath, carefully shifting his hand away. Just when you think you're safe, his leg shifts under the blanket, pressing gently between your legs. A rush of heat floods your chest as you gently push his leg away, silently exhaling in relief.
In the quiet, you watch him sleep. His messy hair, a small trail of drool escaping his lipsโ€”something inside you stirs. Without thinking, you bring your thumb to wipe away the drool, brushing it lightly against your shirt. You stare at him for a moment, your heart racing in ways you canโ€™t fully understand.
For Jake though,
He wakes to find you so close, your noses nearly touching. A small breath escapes him as he pulls back, but then he notices your body, curled into himโ€”one of your legs and arms wrapped around him, as if clinging to his warmth to escape the cold. Youโ€™re nestled so comfortably against his chest, and though a small part of him wants to get up, he finds himself content in the moment.
He stares at you, watching as he slips his fingers through your hair, the quiet intimacy settling around him like a comforting blanket. When you stir, half-awake, he expects you to pull away. But you donโ€™t. Instead, you bury yourself further into his chest, and he smiles, a little amused by your unconscious need for closeness.
โ€œMorning... Baby,โ€ he says softly, though heโ€™s hoping youโ€™ll move just enough for him to slip out of bed.
โ€œMorningg,โ€ you murmur, nuzzling his chest. He notices how you donโ€™t seem to mind the nickname, a small sign that youโ€™re still in that dreamy, sleepy state. He wants to pull away, but he doesn't want to disturb you, so he asks, โ€œCan you move a bit, baby?โ€
You barely stir, your arms and legs still tangled with his. โ€œToo cold,โ€ you mumble, your voice muffled against his shirt.
โ€œI know, baby. Iโ€™ll turn the heater on for you, is that good?โ€ he whispers, his voice tender. Heโ€™s careful not to wake you fully, knowing you wonโ€™t even remember this when you wake up.
An hour later, you wake up alone in the bed, the soft comforter still wrapped around your legs. You stretch and yawn, rubbing your eyes, only to hear the door creak open. Jake stands there, a plate in handโ€”an omelette and a fruit salad. You blink, unsure if youโ€™re still dreaming, and pinch your cheek, just to make sure this isnโ€™t some figment of your imagination.
โ€œWhat's that?โ€ you ask, your voice still thick with sleep.
โ€œBreakfast in bed,โ€ Jake says with a playful grin, setting the plate down in front of you.
โ€œFor me?โ€ you ask, surprised and touched.
โ€œWho else?โ€ he replies with a shrug, like it's the most natural thing in the world.
โ€œWhy...?โ€ You blink at him, unsure of why he's being so considerate, so affectionate.
โ€œWhy not?โ€ he answers, teasing, but thereโ€™s a sincerity in his eyes that makes your heart flutter.
You stare at the food in front of you, but the nerves kick in. โ€œWell, uhm... I havenโ€™t brushed.โ€
โ€œItโ€™s okay,โ€ he reassures, waving off your concerns.
โ€œNo, itโ€™s not. Itโ€™s gross. I do care about germs,โ€ you argue, a bit embarrassed. Before he can say anything else, you rush off to brush your teeth, feeling a little self-conscious. You quickly freshen up, brushing your teeth with the toothpaste, hoping thatโ€™ll help with the lingering awkwardness.
When you return, you take a bite, and the emotion hits you harder than you expect. You donโ€™t quite know why, but the tenderness of his gesture fills you with gratitude, and a soft lump forms in your throat.
โ€œWhy?โ€ you ask again, your voice shaky, as you sip some water. The question has been swirling in your mind ever since you saw him standing there, holding that plate.
โ€œHm?โ€ he hums, genuinely confused, not fully understanding why you're so emotional.
โ€œWhy are you being so nice... and romantic?โ€ You wince after speaking, regretting your words, but you can't take them back now.
Jake tilts his head, his smile fading slightly. โ€œLike I said a month ago... I meant those words. I want us to stay like this... And not go back to how it was in those four years.. Are we really that immature to let it happen again? โ€ The vulnerability in his tone catches you off guard, and for a moment, you can see the hurt in his eyes.
It's raw, honest, and you feel a knot twist in your chest, not having a reply to his genuine question.
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THE DAYS AND MONTHS THAT FOLLOW ARE UNEXPECTEDLY TENDER, filled with moments that remind you of what being husband and wife is meant to feel like. The shared smiles, lingering touches, and quiet mornings are sweeter than they have ever been, and for the first time in a long while, peace seems attainable. Yet, there is an undercurrent that stirs beneath it allโ€”the date that looms, casting a shadow over your contentment.
November 4th.
With the month drawing nearer, your heart starts to tighten with an anxious grip. Paranoia seeps into the quiet moments, the fear of what November 4th could meanโ€”what it has meant in the pastโ€”makes the days feel more fragile. Your mind races, replaying scenarios and doubts that you canโ€™t shake off. Each sweet gesture, each kind word from him, is tinged with the knowledge that the date approaches, threatening to unravel everything youโ€™ve rebuilt.
Jakeโ€™s expression is heavy with exhaustion, dark circles under his eyes hinting at the long day heโ€™s had. You offer, โ€œIโ€™ll heat up the dinner,โ€ and turn toward the kitchen, but he stops you with a gentle grasp around your wrist. Before you can react, he pulls you back, pressing you against the wall. The soft strains of a romantic song drift from the living room, creating an intimate, almost fragile atmosphere.
Heโ€™s closeโ€”closer than usualโ€”and you feel the warmth radiating from his body as well as the subtle scent of his cologne. The proximity sends your pulse racing.
โ€œJake?โ€ you say softly, confusion lacing your voice as you look up at him. His face is unreadable, the dim lighting casting a shadow over the tired lines of his features. His eyes meet yours, carrying an unspoken emotion.
โ€œMm?โ€ he murmurs, his voice hushed, as if not to disturb the moment. His hands find their way around you, holding you securely against him, and he leans his chin on your head. The gesture feels protective, desperate even.
โ€œWhat are you doing?โ€ you ask, your words barely above a whisper, unsure if youโ€™re seeking clarification or reassurance. His embrace tightens for a moment, and you feel his chest rise and fall against yours as he takes a deep breath.
โ€œCan you stop calling me Jake?โ€ he says quietly, the request landing softly, yet weighted.
Surprise flashes through you. โ€œWhat do you want me to call you?โ€ you ask, voice muffled against his shirt. The question feels vulnerable, as if shifting something fundamental between you both.
โ€œI donโ€™t know... something like... baby, darling, honey... or anything,โ€ he admits, a subtle flush spreading across his cheeks despite the solemn tone. You catch the shy dip of his eyes, and a faint smile tugs at your lips.
โ€œYouโ€™re being quite demanding,โ€ you tease, looking up into his face. His lips part slightly as he considers your words.
โ€œThis isnโ€™t being demanding,โ€ he counters, pausing just long enough for the silence to underline his meaning. His eyes search yours, raw and full of an unnamed plea. โ€œI just want to spend my last months with you, thinking weโ€™re just... normal. Like any other couple.โ€
His words sink in, bringing with them an ache that spreads through your chest. The silence that follows is heavy, laced with all the things unsaid and the truth thatโ€™s pressing in on both of you. You lift a hand, letting your fingers brush the hair at the back of his neck. His eyes soften, dark lashes casting shadows against his skin as he watches you.
Thereโ€™s something fragile in this moment, a bittersweet understanding passing between you that makes your throat tighten. The future looms, uncertain and unkind, but for now, youโ€™re here, held close, suspended in the tender present.
Jakeโ€™s voice lowers, a tremor in its depths that betrays the weight of his words. โ€œYou might not believe me, but... I come from a reality where Iโ€™m dead. So, I hope we can at least be nice to each other in my last moments. Can you do that?โ€
A stunned silence follows, your breath catching in your throat as his confession hangs in the air. You believe him; how could you not when you come from the same reality? Eyes widening, you step back, raising your wrist to show the dark, unerasable mark: November 4th. The ink-like number seems to pulse, a constant reminder of a fate that binds you both.
Jakeโ€™s eyes mirror your shock. He releases you, just enough to reveal his own wrist. There it is, the same haunting date. The mark seems alive, almost mocking, as if counting down with every heartbeat.
Neither of you speaks for a moment, the silence heavy with shared grief and realization. The next second, youโ€™re in his arms again, your face buried in his chest as he pulls you close, his own face pressed into your hair. The world around you blurs, reduced to the rapid thumping of your heart and the warmth of his embrace.
โ€œI... please donโ€™t... leave me this time,โ€ you plead, your voice breaking under the weight of your fear. The memory of finding him lifeless in the world you came from, the coldness of that reality, rushes back with a cruel force.
โ€œI will try,โ€ he whispers, his voice barely steady as he runs a hand down your back in a soothing gesture. โ€œWe changed the relationship, right? So maybe... just maybe, we can avoid death too.โ€
You both stand there, unmoving as the moment stretches out. It feels absurd, two souls transported from a fractured future, now clinging to each other in the present in a fragile hope. Yet the thought of letting go is unbearable, so you donโ€™t. For now, the reality of the present is enough.
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JAKEโ€™S FINGERS TREMBLE SLIGHTLY AS HE HOLDS OUT THE SMALL BOX, A HINT OF NERVOUSNESS CREASING HIS BROW. โ€œThis is for you.โ€ His voice is softer than usual, his eyes searching yours for a response. The box is familiar, a relic from the present you left behind, steeped in memories. Inside is the ancestral ring, one that Jakeโ€™s mother entrusted to you after his deathโ€”a token that held more value than any wedding ring could.
โ€œI wasnโ€™t... couldnโ€™t give it to you before, but now... Iโ€™d like you to have it.โ€ His voice is almost a whisper as he takes your hand, slipping the cool metal onto your finger. His touch lingers, warm and careful, as if anchoring the moment between you.
You look down at the ring, its delicate design catching the dim light and glistening softly. The weight of it brings back a rush of memories that mix grief with an unexpected warmth. Meeting his gaze, you let a small, genuine smile curve your lips. โ€œThank you. After youโ€ฆ I mean, after your death, your mother gave it to me,โ€ you say, voice thick with the past, โ€œbut Iโ€™m glad itโ€™s you giving it to me now.โ€
The way his eyes widen before softening speaks volumesโ€”acceptance, regret, and hope, all blending seamlessly as he draws you closer.
Jakeโ€™s expression shifts, a soft smile forming as he leans in, his body pressing yours gently against the bedroom wall. His breath mingles with yours, warm and scented faintly with his cologne. His eyes trace your features, holding a glimmer of something tender and fragile. You raise a brow in playful defiance, a silent challenge, and a sheepish smile tugs at his lips. Without another word, he cups your face, his thumb grazing your cheek, and leans in until the space between you disappears.
The first touch of his lips is tentative, testing. A shiver races down your spine as his mouth moves with a gentleness that makes your heart stutter. Your eyes flutter open for a second, catching the serene expression on his face before closing again as you respond, deepening the kiss. Your hands find their way to his shoulders, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as if anchoring yourself to reality.
When he finally breaks away, his forehead rests against yours, both of you breathing in short, uneven gasps. The room is silent except for the soft crackle of a song playing somewhere in the background. Jakeโ€™s eyes open, and in them, you see a questionโ€”a hesitation laced with anticipation. โ€œDo you want to go further?โ€ His voice, barely above a whisper, holds a vulnerability that makes your pulse quicken.
You exhale softly, a hint of a smile teasing your lips as you match his boldness. โ€œHow far can you go?โ€ The playful edge in your voice makes him chuckle, low and breathy.
โ€œAs far as you want to go.โ€ The words are a promise, and before you can respond, his lips capture yours again, more confident this time, as his hand moves to the strap of your dress, gently sliding it off of your shoulders.
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THE NEXT FEW WEEKS PASS IN A COMFORTING CALM, the bond between you and Jake strengthening with each passing day. You're no longer weighed down by the regret of the past, but instead, you focus on cherishing the present. Yet, there's still a lingering unease.
Jake driving the car is something that continues to gnaw at you. It's not just a simple fear; it's the haunting memory of the future you came from, where that very action led to his tragic end. As November nears, the pressure builds. You look at the date on your wristโ€”November 4thโ€”and the thought of losing him again, of it becoming reality, is too much to bear. Your chest tightens, and you feel a mix of helplessness and dread, hoping with every fiber of your being that this time, things will be different.
Jake offers a reassuring smile, the kind that tries to mask his own unease as he softly says, โ€œChill, Iโ€™ll be back in an hour, alright?โ€ His hand moves up to gently smooth your hair, eyes soft with understanding as he takes in the worry etched across your face. You cling tighter to his arm, voice trembling as you ask, โ€œIs it important?โ€
He nods, and the hopeful part of you crumbles. The instinct to keep him close, to refuse, is almost overwhelming. But before you can protest, he leans forward, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. His hands slip down to rest on your shoulders as he looks at you earnestly.
โ€œI promise Iโ€™ll be back. Now, will my pretty wife give me a smile so I can come back even sooner?โ€ The playful plea tugs at your lips, and despite the fear swirling inside, you manage a small, forced smile. He chuckles softly, ruffling your hair before turning to leave.
You trail behind him to the door, eyes glued to the taillights of his car as they fade down the street. The ache in your chest sharpens, and you glance down at the ancestral ring on your finger, tracing its smooth surface as if the touch alone could make your wish come true: Please, come back safely.
The minutes stretch painfully long, and every ten minutes, you canโ€™t resist sending a text, the same anxious message: โ€œIf youโ€™re okay, just send a heart emoji.โ€ True to his word, Jake replies with a heart every timeโ€”until the fifty-minute mark.
The silence is deafening. Your heart thunders as you stare at your phone, willing the screen to light up. Nothing. The dread coils tighter, stealing the air from your lungs. You take a shaky breath, but it barely settles you. Panic sets in, and you hit the call button. The phone doesnโ€™t connect; the ring tone never plays. Your chest tightens.
In desperation, you call Jay, your brother-in-law. His voice is laced with confusion as he picks up. โ€œJay, is Jake with you?โ€ The silence that follows your frantic question only amplifies your fear. โ€œNo, why? Whatโ€™s going on?โ€ he asks, suddenly serious. Before you can answer, he cuts the call, sensing the urgency and attempting to help in any way he can.
The next hour drags like an eternity, your anxiety swallowing every rational thought. You pace the room, eyes darting to the clock, phone clenched in your shaking hand. Then, after what feels like a lifetime, you hear the distant purr of an engine. Your pulse stutters as Jakeโ€™s car comes into view, whole and unharmed.
But you donโ€™t relax. Not until you see him. The door swings open, and there he is, frustration etched into his features as he steps inside. Your breath catches, relief and anger colliding within you.
Jake's expression softens as he speaks, keeping his voice low despite the frustration. โ€œWhyโ€™d you call Jay over something like this? My phone died while I was working. I charged it and got caught up in the case. Itโ€™s embarrassing.โ€
Your eyes well up, the weight of worry turning to a sting of hurt. โ€œSo? Itโ€™s not important?โ€ Your voice wavers, raw with emotion. โ€œI was terrified, Jake! I didnโ€™t want to lose you again. Sorry for being the clingy wife youโ€™re ashamed of.โ€
Turning to leave, you barely make a step before heโ€™s there, blocking your path. His eyes search yours, but instead of a defensive remark, he pulls you close, enveloping you in an embrace that tells you more than words could. His arms tighten, anchoring you to him as he murmurs in your ear, โ€œIโ€™m sorry. I didnโ€™t mean it like that. Itโ€™s strange, but I promise I wonโ€™t say that again, okay?โ€
His breath is warm against your hair as he leans his cheek on your head, his heartbeat steady against your own erratic one. Despite the tension, you sense his understanding, a silent acknowledgment of your fear. Heโ€™s learning to hold your worry without judgment.
โ€œI was so scared, Jake. I thought Iโ€™d lose you all over again.โ€ Your voice cracks, and he feels the tremor in your body. He wants to say the right thing, anything to soothe the tremble in your words, but all he can do is hold you tighter.
Both of you are haunted by that date imprinted on your wrists, โ€œNovember 4th.โ€ A reminder that looms like an uninvited shadow, a constant whisper of what could happen.
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THE DAY ARRIVES, a heavy silence filling the air between you and Jake. His promise lingers like a protective shield around you both: he wonโ€™t drive, he wonโ€™t leave. His presence is a balm for the fear that pulses in your chest. As the two of you snuggle on the couch, the soft glow of the TV playing a rom-com, you turn to him with a worried look, your voice low and unsure.
โ€œWhat if something bad happens while weโ€™re in the house?โ€ you whisper, nuzzling into his warmth. The thought of losing him, of the world continuing without him, feels unbearable.
Jake shifts, his arm wrapping tighter around you as he looks down at you, his breath warm against your neck. โ€œNothing will happen. And if it does, Iโ€™ll protect you,โ€ he assures, his tone strong and sure, though his own heart is heavy. He knows how much your fear weighs on you, and he wants to shoulder it for you.
But the thought of you living without himโ€”he canโ€™t imagine it. He brushes your hair from your face gently, his voice a soft promise. โ€œI love you too much for that.โ€ His words come out naturally, like itโ€™s something heโ€™s been holding back but feels right now to say. Itโ€™s the first time you hear him say it, and the weight of those words floods your heart with warmth, knowing this is real.
โ€œI get it. I wonโ€™t put my life at risk,โ€ he murmurs, though thereโ€™s a quiet uncertainty in his words, an unspoken truth that he would never let anything harm youโ€”even at the cost of his own safety.
You glance up at him, your lips pressing together in a worried frown. โ€œYou better not,โ€ you mumble, not able to let go of the fear completely. Youโ€™ve spent the whole day together, in the safety of your home, trying to ignore the impending dread that the date will pass and nothing will change. Watching TV, cooking together, each small moment a reminder of how much he means to youโ€”and how fragile life can be.
You curl up closer to him, as if physically wrapping yourself around him can keep him safe. Your eyes glance at the clock, the seconds ticking by too slowly. Every moment spent together now feels like a treasure, and you want to hold on to it forever.
The two of you lie in bed, the soft glow of the nightlight casting a gentle warmth over your forms. His hand rests tenderly over yours, fingers interlocking. He watches you as you sleep, your face relaxed, peaceful. A quiet whisper escapes his lips: โ€œI love you.โ€ His eyes linger on your peaceful expression, your other arm still clinging to him as if youโ€™re unwilling to let go even in sleep.
He leans over to turn off the lamp, and then his gaze falls to his wristโ€”where the date once was. Itโ€™s gone. A wave of disbelief washes over him. The tension that has gripped him for so long begins to melt away. Perhaps it wasnโ€™t an omen after all, but a reminder that after November 4th, a new chapter awaited them both.
He takes a deep breath, reaching for your wrist to find the same thing: no date. Relief floods him, and he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, pulling you even closer into his arms, savoring the moment.
But he knows, as much as this moment feels like a new beginning, there will still be challenges ahead. The fear you carry about him driving is not something that will fade overnight. Your worry, rooted in a past he knows you canโ€™t shake, will take time to heal. But for now, he holds you close, understanding, and promises silently that heโ€™ll be patient, allowing you to find peace in your own time.
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TWO MONTHS HAVE PASSED SINCE THE FATEFUL DATE, and though life has taken you and Jake through different stages, thereโ€™s an undeniable warmth between the two of you. Sitting at the family dinner table, surrounded by loved ones, the air is filled with laughter, conversation, and the quiet hum of joy.
Semi, now a cheerful five-year-old, eats her meal quietly, occasionally looking up with shy glances.
You glance over at Jake, noticing him take a deep breath as he prepares to speak, his hand resting on the table near yours. Itโ€™s clear heโ€™s nervous, even though itโ€™s just family. He clears his throat, the words finally tumbling out: โ€œSoโ€ฆ Weโ€™re having a baby.โ€
Thereโ€™s a beat of silence.
Jakeโ€™s father scoffs, not giving him an ounce of reaction, while his mother rolls her eyes. โ€œOh, cโ€™mon, you can fool us one time, not twice,โ€ she says, clearly referencing the last family dinner, where you had tried to casually mention trying for a baby, only for him to play along. He felt the blame was entirely on him, but you knew the truthโ€”it was a team effort.
You chuckle softly to yourself, leaning into Jakeโ€™s side, your heart fluttering at the thought of a new life, a new chapter. He meets your gaze, his lips curving into a small smile, even amidst the teasing.
This moment, while filled with playful mockery, marks something deeper. Youโ€™re finally here together, stronger and more united than ever before. And this new adventure? Itโ€™s the start of a new journey that no one can take from you.
"Really, Y/nโ€™s pregnant. We're having a baby," Jake says, his voice laced with excitement. His mother, skeptical, eyes you closely. "Is that true?"
Without waiting for Jakeโ€™s confirmation, you nod, feeling his fingers intertwine with yours beneath the table, his touch calming your nerves.
"I wonโ€™t hesitate to beat your ass if this is fake," his dad grumbles, irritation mixing with a hint of hope.
Jay, barely containing his amusement at the scene, watches the family react, while Jake proudly pulls out the ultrasound pictures, revealing the truth. His parents take turns looking at the images, jaws dropping in surprise. Jay, knowing already, canโ€™t help but chuckle.
"Father was starting to question your masculinity. Glad you proved him wrong," Jay teases, earning a gentle nudge from Jieun, urging him to keep it light.
"Wait... So thereโ€™s a grandkid on the way?" Jakeโ€™s mother recovers first, grinning with hopeful excitement. Jake nods, and your heart swells at the thought of everything that's to come. This moment, this family, it feels like the beginning of something truly special.
Jakeโ€™s mother leans forward, still processing, but the excitement is slowly bubbling up. โ€œA grandchild? Really? My little boy having a little one? Iโ€™m going to spoil that baby so much.โ€
Jake chuckles, glancing at you. โ€œWell, you already spoil Semi enough, so I guess itโ€™s fair.โ€
โ€œHey, Iโ€™m a great grandma-in-training,โ€ she quips, giving Semi an affectionate pat. โ€œBut if you two need any advice, Iโ€™m here.โ€
Your heart swells seeing the warmth in her eyes. But then, Jakeโ€™s dad, clearly trying to keep his cool, mutters, โ€œIโ€™ll believe it when I see a baby in my arms.โ€
โ€œYouโ€™ll see him,โ€ Jake says, giving you a reassuring squeeze. โ€œOr her, right, Y/n?โ€
You smile, feeling the weight of the moment. โ€œDefinitely,โ€ you whisper, feeling a rush of emotion.
Jay, still grinning, canโ€™t help but poke at his younger brother. โ€œSo, whatโ€™s the plan, huh? You two gonna have one of those perfect Pinterest-worthy baby showers or just skip the whole thing?โ€
Jieun smacks his arm lightly. โ€œDonโ€™t make them nervous, Jay. Let them enjoy the moment.โ€
Jake laughs, looking over at you with that same loving gaze. โ€œHonestly, I think we just need to take it one step at a time. But yeah, weโ€™ll get there.โ€
โ€œYou know, when you have a baby, youโ€™ll see just how much you need each other,โ€ his dad says more seriously now, a rare moment of wisdom breaking through his tough exterior. โ€œItโ€™s not just about being a parent, itโ€™s about being there for each other even more.โ€
Jake nods, his hand tightening around yours as if to say, โ€œIโ€™ve got you, always.โ€
The whole family seems to settle into a comfortable silence after that, everyone soaking in the news in their own way, but all of them sharing the same unspoken bond.
โ€œGuess weโ€™ll need one more chair for next time,โ€ Jay jokes, breaking the silence, and everyone bursts out laughing.
You glance at Jake, his eyes full of joy, and your heart feels fuller than it ever has. Thereโ€™s something about being surrounded by familyโ€”being with himโ€”that feels right. โ€œYeah, weโ€™ll need one more chair,โ€ Jake agrees softly, his gaze drifting to the future, to the family thatโ€™s just beginning.
In the end, you and Jake had proven the vows trueโ€”til death do us part. Through all the challenges, fears, and moments of doubt, you had always found your way back to each other. The promises made, the trust built, and the love that had endured everything now stood as a testament to what you had together. With every touch, every shared laugh, and every quiet moment, you knew that no matter what, your hearts were boundโ€”for lifeโ€”and beyond.
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ยฉ senascoop | tumblr
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lgbtlunaverse ยท 8 months ago
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This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry
Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.
It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.
We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.
He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.
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But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.
And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry
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Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.
When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.
It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.
Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.
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(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)
It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.
And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)
But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?
To me, it looked like I had a choice.
See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.
So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?
And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!
Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.
So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naรฏve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.
Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.
I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.
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grimdarling69 ยท 2 months ago
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Another de aged Dan and Ellie story or otherwise known as Crack
Pt 1 Pt2
If only Clark hadn't been busy tracking Luthor, he would have been able to save his nephew, his sons best friend.
Once again, Lex Luthor has sabotaged him. He didn't even need kryptonite to do it this time. After Lexs mental breakdown, he had apparently gone off the grid, and unsurprisingly, he wasn't able to hear anything from him. According to the snippets from Lexs staff he had apparently refused to answer to his name, started to hate it, and called his board a " bunch of idiotic bimbos who only appear to work so they could buy expensive cars and whores".
It's definitely a mental breakdown or a possession. Lex doing something to damage his image? Unheard of. Possession didn't seem likely. What kind of person posseses a ceo just to insult his board and completely change their personality? They'd be immediately noticed.
He had been investigating Lex's disappearance for the past month and a half and had only succeeded in not being around to stop his nephew from committing suicide.
Bruce had called out for him, but being halfway across the world he couldn't make it in time, and consequently Damian made it over the bridge and he had been searching for his body for the past 3 hours and he still couldn't find him.
He had never seen Dick so shaken before. Jason had barely been able to stop him from following his brother over the bridge. After he arrived on the scene, Jason started to take his brother home.
"Find his body." He had told him before turning and wrangling Dick onto his own bike
"Stop, Jay. I have to find him. Please... Uncle Clark, please. You have to bring him home. I have to... " He could hear Dick plead with them the whole way back to the cave.
He could only bring their bikes home.
They had now all retired to the cave. He was ignoring Alfred calling Steph and Cass in the other room. Ignoring their desperate denials and begging to be told it was just a cruel prank. Ignoring Dick's full body sobs into Jason's arms, shaking them both. Ignoring Bruce's absent look and ignoring how similar Bruce and Jason's grief was.
Tim, luckily, hadn't broken his leg like what they originally had thought, only popped his knee out at such an angle it looked like it. Alfred had already reset it and listed his usual recovery despite Tim not even pretending to listen to it this time. Duke had already helped him upstairs, eyes red and swollen.
Finally the the tense silence came to an end.
"Did you find anything?" Bruce, one of his oldest and closest friends, asked, his voice calm and steady, his heart unwavering as ever but he knew better.
"I'm sorry."
"Search again."
Just as he was about to fly out again, the elevator opened.
"I found this in Damian's room." Tim hurriedly spoke he was already rushing past him on his crutches to the evidence processing, not even explaining what "this" even is.
"Tim. Explain." Bruce rushing and limped past him following quickly.
Like father, like son.
"What is it?" He turned to look at Dick, he had tear stains but his eyes were dryer his mouth was set in a firm line but he was leaning heavily on his younger brother.
"Tim found something." He responded quietly, and he continued on following his friend.
They sat silently together while Tim and Bruce worked together without speaking like a well-oiled machine firm in it's objective.
He'd say Jason was as still as a corpse with his eyes glazed over unseeing, but that observation was far from appropriate,considering everything.
99% Match found. Partial fingerprints detected unknown. The computer had finally accounted after 15 minutes of silence.
He and Jason waited for Bruce and Tim to tell them instead of jumping like Dick did to get the first look. He doubted Jason could get up, Jason was strong so strong, but he was still so young.
They all were.
Especially Damian, despite all his headstrong confidence and borderline arrogance, he will still only fourteen.
Only fourteen years old and dead by suicide.
He still needed to tell Jon he was buying time by the well-timed expedition of him and Kon already off planet and galaxy on whatever Kon called "brotherly bonding with a little bit of interplanetary fighting and toppling monarchies splashed in and maybe we'll catch a movie on the way home" they had joined some green lanterns to help rescue some new green lanterns who got in between a revolution on accident. He remembers researching for days before letting Jon go, but even just the name of the planet now escapes him.
It all seemed so trivial now.
He had seen what became of Dick and Bruce when Jason had died when Dick had been off-planet, and Bruce hadn't reached out to tell him. He just hoped Jon could forgive him.
"Clark. Where is Lex Luthor." Bruce demanded turning to finally look him in the eyes.
"I'm not sure. Lex went underground a month and half ago. Why? What does he have to do with this?" Clark asked carefully. He had to be careful not to set Bruce off.
" AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TELLING ME? Bruce's voice rose exponentially.
Too late, he couldn't help but think.
"His fingerprints are all over this goddamn envelope. Whatever was inside made Damian kill himself, and you're asking what does it matter!"
"How do we know?" Dick spoke softly, his eyes still glued to the results.
Everybody turned at the same time. Jason's head snapping so fast he winced.
"Know... Know what?" Tim asks him just as softly.
" How do we know Damian is.. is dead?" He spoke again, looking up to glance at them all.
" I know Damian. He's my.. my...He wouldn't just kill himself. He couldn't have. He showed no signs of ever even contemplating it. Not even... Damian would have told me.. Would have trusted me to help him. Lex must have taken him or.. or somehow lured him away." Dick spoke hurriedly or desperate but still completely convinced.
"Chum.."
"FUCK!" Jason exclaimed standing up and kicking his chair sending into the wall hard enough to crack the plastic. His hands shook like they were itching to wrap around someone's throat. They twitched and he ran his hands through his hair, his eyes were greener than ever and glowed so strong there seemed to be a small headlight in front of him almost.
"He could be out there being tortured or worse! And we are just sitting here twiddling our thumbs like FUCKING BABIES!" His voice grew louder and louder until he was screaming into their faces.
"Jaylad-" Bruce started just by hearing that name he knew whatever Bruce was going to say was going to be the complete wrong thing.
"We are going to find him. No matter what it takes. I never gave up on Bruce, and i can't give up in my baby brother either." Tim spoke up, his voice unwavering his heartbeat never stuttering, not even once.
He risked a glance at Bruce. His old friends face was softer, looking at his sons, but his frown was determined, and he tilted his head in the way he always did when he wasn't going to give up.
They were going to bring him home. They just had too.
---------
Crack
Boy, was Damian glad about this storm. He quickly realized that he couldn't use more than one of his powers at one time. He was able to make it to the coordinates of the apparent luxurious island Vlad was hiding out on.
He was expecting actual underground, not just some shell company bought island decked in lead and man-made waterfall galore.
He was absolutely soaking wet and shivering by the time he crashed onto the island. The storm just kept on thundering down on him, plastering his clothes and hair to his face in clumps. He better not get sick from this.
Cold fog escaped his throat, and he shivered even more.
"Daniel! Is that really you?" Lex fucking Luthor called out after he'd been laying exhausted and chilled to the bone in the grimy muddy sand for a few minutes.
"Hey, fruitloop." Was the first and last thing that he said before promptly passing out.
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angelicyoongie ยท 3 months ago
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The Ivory Fang (I)
โ€” pairing: mermaid taehyung x (f) reader โ€” word count:ย 6k โ€” warnings: (soft?) yandere, mention of illness (not the reader) โ€” summary:ย You have run out of options when it comes to treating your mother's illness. When a mysterious man offers you a solution that might save her, you decide that nothing is too strange if it means it'll lead to a cure โ€“ not even finding and striking a deal with a mermaid.
Part 01 - 02
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"My apologies, miss, but there's nothing I can do to aid your mother. Her malady is too severe."
The healer gives you a sympathetic look before he closes his door, the bell hanging above it chiming into the quiet night. You let out a shaky exhale, staring at the door that just sealed your mother's fate.
You have exhausted every possible option of looking for a cure, pleaded with every healer you've come across to please just try, but none have been willing. They always take one look at your mother, pale and gaunt in her bed, practically rotting away as she lays there, before they scurry away, refusing to treat her.
They may see a lost cause, a patient too sick to be cured, but you just see your mother โ€“ the woman who raised you by herself and taught you that even if all else fails, she would always be there to catch you.
The gold coins in your satchel clink together as you pull yourself away from the healer's door, your steps heavy as you begin the walk back to your house.
"What a fool," You grit, kicking at a stone in front of you, "If you had any common sense you should at least pretend like you had a cure and bled me dry."
Your throat bobs as you glance up at the night sky. The stars twinkle on without a worry, indifferent that their biggest admirer hasn't laid her eyes on them in months. You never quite saw the beauty in them like your mother did โ€“ like she still does โ€“ย but they are practical for lighting your way home. It's the least they can do, as the tearful wishes you've bestowed upon their fallen brothers and sisters have all gone unheard since your mother fell ill.
It happened so suddenly, so unexpectedly, that you still have no idea what caused it. One day your mother was fine and the next she was unable to get out of bed, falling in and out of consciousness. It's been months of you doing everything you can to help her, but nothing has even given her a moment of respite from the illness that's ravaging her body. You're truly at your wit's end.
You press your hands to your eyes as they begin to blur,ย willing them not to fall. On the off chance that your mother is lucid when you return, you don't want to cause her the worry of seeing your swollen eyes and tear-stained cheeks. Taking a few deep breaths, you attempt to calm yourself, rubbing at your eyelids until the urge to cry subsides.
As you let your hands fall away, you find yourself squinting as you re-open your eyes, hazy lights filling your vision. Your steps slow as you draw near the source, a lit-up storefront beckoning you in with its warm, flickering lights.
"This isn't.." You look over your shoulder, seeing the faint outline of the healer's door further up the road. You walk along this path every day and yet, you have never seen this store before. You can't quite seem to recall what used to be there but you know it wasn't this.
Trepidation slowly sinks in as you keep walking forward, intent to let your feet carry you past the shop without a backward glance. Even so, a moment of morbid curiosity makes you pause, your eyes drinking in the soft glow of the seemingly floating lights in the window. Turning your head this way and that, you can't see the string holding them up, the thread much too thin to be visible in such low light. The windows are covered with rich fabrics, not allowing you to look inside past the heavy drapes. Your initial thought about this being a magician's shop falls short as you notice the etching into the glass, the lettering spelling out 'The Healing Shoppe'.
The name gives you a foolish burst of hope, your body already halfway up the stairs before you remember just how odd this whole thing is. A mysterious shop has appeared out of thin air and you're going to trust it just like that? Every rational part of your brain is urging you to leave, to forget that you ever laid eyes on this shop. But.. You can't simply ignore it on the odd chance that something inside might help your mother.
Taking a deep breath, you cross the last steps and find yourself in front of the door. As you press down on the handle, it gives away with a soft rattle. The sound is peculiar, certainly like no bell you've ever heard before; but with no visual clues of what it might be, you find that you can't quite place it. You take a hesitant step into the shop, the dimly lit space in front of you more like a hallway than a proper room. The walls are empty aside from a few lit candles, only a heavy drape obscuring what you assume to be a doorway further down the corridor.
"Hello?" You call out.
You pause, straining your ears for a reply, but nothing comes. Just as you're about to leave, worried that someone simply forgot to close up their shop, you hear a heavy thud from behind the curtain.
There's no noise aside from the impact, no immediate call for help, but there's still a possibility that someone may be hurt. Perhaps they fainted or are too weak to call out to you. You decide then that you're just going to take a look behind the drape, just to make sure everything is alright so that you can leave in good conscience.
You walk past the flickering candlelight, stomach swirling with unease as you reach out for the curtain. The material is soft in your hand, threads of shimmering silver woven so delicately into it that you can't even feel it as you run your thumb across it. The fabric is heavy as you finally push it aside, your eyes widening in surprise as you take in what it was hiding.
The room you step into is filled to the brim with shelves and cabinets, all of them displaying a different collection of oddities. There's dried flowers and herbs hanging from the ceiling, the many bunches of lavender spreading a calming scent throughout the space. There's a round table placed in the middle of the room, two chairs pushed up against it. The tablecloth is made out of the same material as the drape and your fingers are already itching to touch it again.
Glancing around, you find that the shelf next to you is stacked to the brim with gemstones of every cut and color imaginable, their polished surface reflecting the sparkling jars from across the room. If your mother was here, she would insist that they were filled with stardust, the shimmering substance so bright it's nearly imitating the night sky you looked up at just moments before.
You walk slowly around the room, captivated by all of the different items you find. A shudder runs through you as you pause near a display filled with skulls, some of the shapes so outlandish you wonder if the owner has somehow mended different species together just for show.
As you finally make a full circle back to the doorway you stepped through, you realize that there's nothing in this room that should have made the thud you heard earlier. There's no one here and nothing even seems slightly out of place.
Stumped, you lean forward on the table, running your fingers over the soft texture of the cloth as you give the room another look. Is there a door you missed somewhere? Perhaps you were too captivated by the content to really pay attention to the room.
"And who might you be?"
You spin around, heart in your throat, from the sudden deep voice speaking up behind you.ย 
You stumble over an apology as you take in the cloaked figure in front of you, their face obscured by the big hood pulled over their head. The uneasy feeling in your stomach returns tenfold as you realize you're trapped between the table and this mysterious person, their broad frame blocking the only way in and out of the room.
"Iโ€“" You're saved from your poor explanation as the figure pulls their hood off, revealing the most beautiful man you've ever seen in your life. His light brown hair is tousled and wavy like he just came from a swim in the ocean, his skin sun-kissed as if he's spent his days laying by the shore. You find yourself unable to form words as you take in his chiseled jaw and almond-shaped eyes, the colour such a striking light blue, they almost appear white.
It's a little unsettling how piercing his gaze is, almost as if he's looking right into you rather than at you. Just as your eyes flicker to the curtain behind him, an excuse forming in your head for a swift exit, the man says, "What brings you to my shop?"
Flashes of your mother's gaunt face appear before your eyes, the sound of her breathing becoming heavier and heavier echoing in your ears. Even if you feel uneasy in this man's presence, you can't let this chance slip to your fingers. You owe your mother that much.
"I noticed the sign out front, that you have a healing shop? My mother.." You take a deep breath, swallowing down the lump in your throat. "My mother is very ill. No doctor or healer is willing to help her, they say her sickness is too severe. You.. You're my last hope."
"Hmm, I see," The man nods. He gestures to one of the chairs, "Please have a seat and explain your troubles. I need all the details you can give regarding your mother's malady."
You quickly slip into the nearest chair, your palms clammy with nervous anticipation. This is the first person who has ever bothered to ask, who actually seems to care. You watch the man as he rounds the table, his gait awkward and staggered as he walks with difficulty to his chair. The way he moves is nothing like you've seen before. It's certainly no ordinary limp, you've never seen anyone walk so .. unnaturally before.
The man catches your eye as he lowers himself to his seat.
"I know my condition is quite unsightly, please excuse me. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I have had to train my legs to bear my weight. It has left me feeling like a fish out of water."
He flashes you a crooked smile, the amused twinkle in his eye alerting you of a joke you don't quite understand. You wonder if his condition is similar to your old neighbor's. The man had a painful sickness in his legs and spent most of his time in a wheeled chair, but he could walk on them if it was necessary. Though the few times you did see him walk, it still looked, well, human.
"Oh no, that's alright," You wave your hands, embarrassed that your staring might have made him feel self-conscious.
Desperate to turn the conversation away from the man's illness, you begin recounting everything you can remember about your mother's sickness. You tell him about how it began so suddenly, the severity of it and how no one else is willing to aid her, all noting her as a lost cause.
"Most curious," The man hums.ย 
He leans back in his seat, his piercing gaze moving slowly across your face, scrutinizing it. He mutters something under his breath, too low for you to hear, before he raises his voice and says, "While I may not know what your mother's sickness is, I do know that there is only one thing that can cure her. A mermaid's magic."
"Pardon me?" You stare incredulously at the man. "Did you just say mermaid? As in the creatures from folktales?"
"I do know it sounds outlandish, or perhaps you'd find insane to be a more fitting word, but it's your last chance at curing your mother. Have you not exhausted all man-made options?"
You slump in your seat, biting down on your lip as you mull his words over. You have indeed done all you could to save your mother and to no avail. While it does sound absolutely mad to go searching for a mythological creature to aid her, perhaps crazy is just what you need. You're not sure just how much you trust this strange man but for all you know, he could be speaking the truth. He certainly looks like he believes in it himself.
"Where.. Where would I find one?"
The man tuts. "That's not the question you should be asking, guppy. A mermaid requires a sacrifice of equal value to what you are asking of them. What are you willing to give to receive their help?"
"Anything," You reply, "The cost doesn't matter. I'd give up anything to save my mother."
The man grins, his smile a little sharper than before, as he pulls out a weathered map from his cloak. He traces the route you need to take, crossing over the vast ocean to reach a cluster of islands on the other side.
"Finally, you will need to take a boat from Pearl Bay to this island right here. Once you locate the mermaid, you have to offer him this," The man places a tooth on the table, the whites of it glistening under the candlelight.
You hesitantly reach across the table to pick it up, the size and weight of it much more substantial than you were expecting. You find that the tooth is much more like a fang, one end pointed and sharp. It's nothing like you've seen before.
"What animal does this belong to?" You ask, tracing what looks like a red vein embedded in the side of it.
You look up as you're only met with silence, the man's heavy gaze transfixed on your hand and the fang held in your palm. He only seems to remember his surroundings as you lower it to your lap, removing it from his sight.
The man clears his throat as he pulls the hood back over his head. Ignoring your question, he nudges the map closer to you on the table, "I have given you everything you need. It is up to you to decide whether your mother lives โ€“ or dies. Good luck."
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Your mind is made up a few days later when your mother starts coughing up blood. You doubt she has more than a few weeks left to live at the rate her sickness is eating her up, so you'll have to act right away if you want to save her. You still have your doubt about the journey, about the creature you're supposed to find, but the risk is worth it if the alternative is being left to always wonder if it could have cured her. You know you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if the mysterious man was correct and you didn't do anything about it.
"I'll find a cure, I promise," You give your mother a gentle kiss on her forehead. The lines on her hollowed face are scrunched with pain, her every breath a mere wheeze as her chest struggles to rise and fall.ย 
You meet the saddened eyes of your neighbor as you press a few gold coins into her hand, whispering a few words of gratitude for her care while you're away. The journey shouldn't take more than ten nights to complete but you have paid her far more than that, just on the off chance that the weather delays your return. With your goodbyes said, you heft your rucksack onto your shoulder as you slip out of the cottage and set course for the port.
The sun has barely risen as you locate the ship that will take you south, the wooden dock filled with travelers and crew all headed in different directions. You're surprised to find that the ship is quite large, the deck just as bustling as the dock below. With all of the boxes and barrels being loaded up, you figure it's likely a cargo ship, moving wares and supplies out to the islands. While the journey is bound to be loud and quite cramped, you think the noise might actually do you some good. You hadn't realized just how much of your own energy had been sapped alongside your mother's, how much you missed the sound of laughter and life being lived around you. You'll be stuck on this ship until it reaches Pearl Bay, unable to do much other than sleep and converse with the people around you, so perhaps this will be a much needed break โ€“ a chance for you to wind down until you reach shore. Gods know you'll need it, especially since you're supposed to hunt down a fabled creature once your feet hit solid ground.ย ย 
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You fight to open your eyes as the sound of the howling winds outside sweep through the room, your stomach turning at the thought of having to move to see what caused it. The trap door slams shut before you muster up the courage to turn over, the sounds once again dampened by the heavy wood.
"Ay girlie, who made you this angry?!" A crewman huffs as he stumbles down the stairs to the lower deck, bracing his hands on the walls for support.
You bite your teeth together as another thunderous wave crashes against the side of the ship. The next round of nausea washes over you as the ship rocks back and forth, the wood groaning as it tries to steady itself. It's been three days of hellish waters, the storm breaking out as soon as the ship hit the open sea. You've spent most of it confined to your cot, barely being able to keep any water or food down before another rough wave causes your stomach to empty.
The lower deck is filled with pained moans and whimpers, the majority of the passengers fairing just as poorly as you. It feels like you're stuck in a loop of absolute misery with the heavy rain that pours down on the deck above and the angry sea that threatens to pull the ship under at any moment.
You let out a slow breath through your nose, trying to think about anything else but the bile slowly rising up your throat. So much for that relaxation. Desperate for some respite from your turning stomach, you close your eyes and turn your focus onto the indistinct chatter happening on the other side of the room. The low, murmuring voices prove to be enough of a distraction that you soon find your consciousness slipping, a welcome darkness taking over you as the storm continues to rage outside.
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The next time you wake up, the ship is quiet and still, like the previous days were nothing more than a fever dream. It takes you longer than you'd like to make your way up on deck, your legs trembling and weak after barely any substance over the past three days. The fresh air and warm sunlight feels heavenly on your skin as you stumble past the other travelers sprawled out on the deck, a few of them still moaning about the ship moving too much, despite its now still glide on the quiet water. The ship's railing seems like a good spot to rest, the sturdy wood providing a nice support to lean against as you survey the sea around you. The water is crystal blue, glittering under the bright sun. You've never seen anything quite like it. You let out a gasp as a school of fish pass by the ship, their gray hue reflecting the light so beautifully it looks like molten silver dancing around under the water's surface.
You stand by the ship's edge for a while, long enough for the other passengers to begin retreating back to their cots. Just as you're about to do the same, you see what looks like a white, large fin hitting the surface of the sea, the creature below too obscured by the distance from the ship to really make out. Even so, you can tell it's no regular fish. The small waves caused by the impact must surely mean that it's a strong animal.
"Did you see that?" You turn to the man resting next to you, hoping he might have an explanation of what you just saw.
The man startles as you address him, clearly on the brink of falling asleep where he stands. He blinks, rubbing his eyes as he turns his attention to the spot you're pointing to.
"There's nothing there, miss," He grumbles, openly annoyed that you woke him up.
"What? Butโ€“" As you turn back to look at the sea, you realize he's right. The creature you saw is no longer there.
"Was likely just a dolphin, miss. There's lots of them in these waters."
"I suppose so," You concede. Having never seen one in real life, only on paper, you have no clue how large they're supposed to be. Yet, something in your gut tells you that this was no dolphin โ€“ this was something entirely different.
You're not left to ponder the creature for long, not when you're alerted that Pearl Bay has been spotted in the distance. Your final night at the ship passes by in the blink of an eye, time seemingly fueled by your nerves as you suddenly find yourself stepping onto solid ground once again. With a decent night's rest behind you and a warm meal in your stomach, you set course for the next point on your map.
Following the mysterious man's instructions, you find the path going along the outskirts of the bay, walking until you stumble upon the described hut nestled close to the water's edge. The woman inside seems eager to rent you a rowboat, citing that she doesn't get much business on the far side of the island.ย 
It isn't until she asks you where you're going that her demeanor changes, her expression turning haunted as she glances in the direction of your destination, just barely visible where the sky meets the sea.
"There is something wicked in those waters," The woman shudders, her hands shaking as she accepts a gold coin for payment, "You'd better stay away if you value your life, miss."
Your stubbornness won't allow you to turn back now, not when you've already come so far, but that doesn't mean you're not affected by her warning. Her spooked expression lingers in the back of your mind as you push the boat out to sea, your own hands trembling with uncertainty as you grab the oars and begin to row.
Perhaps you are truly foolish to ignore all of the warning signs you have been presented with, but what is a little danger if it means it can heal your mother? You'll just have to stay vigilant, making sure not to take any risks and be alert to your surroundings.
With your rucksack tucked between your legs, you hum a gentle tune, trying to calm the anxiety building with every stroke forward.
The eerie feeling grows heavier the more distance you put between yourself and Pearl Bay, the island in the distance seemingly never drawing closer no matter how long and how hard you row. You set out before the sun had reached its highest point and now its rays are almost touching the sea, the sky a pure orange. Truly, it feels like you have just been paddling in place this whole time, not moving an inch despite the bay becoming fainter and fainter behind you.
Your arms are burning from the hours of exercise, your breath labored and heavy with exhaustion. You were hoping to make it to shore before nightfall โ€“ย  the map did not indicate that the journey would be this long โ€“ but you fear your body might shut down if you try to push it for much longer.
You pull the oars into the boat, intending to just take a short break and rest your eyes before your final stretch of the evening.ย 
You swear you haven't dozed off for more than a quarter of an hour, the sunset still vivid and bright, but as you reopen your eyes, you're shocked to find the island close, its proximity now near enough that you can make out the palm trees on the shore and faint details of the wild mountain imposing behind them.
"How?" You breathe.
As you shift on the bench, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you notice that your feet feel much colder than before your nap. Wet.
Glancing down, you find the bottom of the boat filled with water, the amount already well above your ankles. You fumble for the oars, cursing as you begin to row with all of your might. You can't tell where the leak is coming from and scooping the water out with your hands won't get you anywhere. Your best bet is just to get the boat as close to land as possible and then swim the rest of the way.
You resolutely do not think about what may be lurking in the water as you finally abandon the sinking boat, your rucksack balanced precariously on your head as you lower yourself into the cold water. You wonder for a split second if it's better to leave it but the extra portions of food you brought with you will surely come in handy now that your way of returning to Pearl Bay is at the bottom of the ocean.
Biting your teeth together, you begin to swim, your gaze locked onto the beach. Time feels endlessly long as you push yourself forward, the minutes ticking by so slowly they might as well have been hours.
You let out a sob of relief as your feet finally touch solid ground, every limb shaking with exhaustion as you waddle the rest of the way up to dry land. You collapse the moment you hear sand crunching under your soaked boots, panting, as your vision swirls from fatigue.ย 
You lie there until the chill begins to set in, your dripping clothes sticking to your skin like an icy embrace. Groaning, you push yourself up on your feet, knowing you'll have to attempt to create a fire if you want any warmth to return to your body.
The sky is beginning to grow dark, its orange hues replaced by deep purple and blue. It's only now that you realize just how unnaturally quiet the island is, with no noise to be heard aside from the water lapping at the shore and a gentle breeze flowing through the palm trees. Even if you hadn't been this exhausted and cold, you would never dare to venture further into the thick vegetation in the dark. You don't trust the island to not lead you astray.
"Suppose I'll stay here for the night," You murmur.ย 
You rummage through your rucksack, pulling out the change of clothes you had brought with you just in case. You're ever thankful for your own foresight as you strip out of your soaked garments, goosebumps racing down your skin as you hurry to pull on a dry blouse and trousers. It isn't just the cold that's making your skin crawl โ€“ you can't help feeling like somewhere in the darkness of the deep ocean, or in the shadows in the midst of the trees, someone is watching you.
You glance around as you do your blouse up, finding absolutely nothing staring back at you.
Yet, the feeling lingers.
It takes you longer than you'd like to admit getting a fire started, the branches you find a little too damp to really catch a spark. Still, some deity seems to take pity on you and allows one of your attempts to succeed, the branch igniting and spreading the flames to the rest of your small bonfire. You scarf down half of the food and water you brought with you as you soak up the warmth, deciding that despite your still vocal stomach, it's better to save the rest for tomorrow. You have no idea how large this island actually is, so there's no question that you'll have to keep your energy up.
With your stomach slightly sated and your shivering down to a minimum, you curl up on the beach, as close to the open flames as you dare. You use your rucksack as a makeshift pillow, piling up the rest of your supplies close by. Despite the unnerving, oppressive air that hangs over the island, you succumb to sleep quickly, your exhaustion too great to fight.
Your dreams are restless, haunted by sharp teeth and whispers, a deep baritone voice urging you to come find him. You wake with a start, alarmed that the puff of air you sensed across your ear in your nightmare felt a little too real.
Heart racing in your chest, you quickly survey the beach, finding nothing out of the ordinary. Your bonfire has long since extinguished itself, its ashes intertwined with the sand below.
Reaching out behind you, you frown as you don't feel the pouch of water you know you left there the night before.
Turning around, you're met with absolutely nothing. Your food and water are gone, and the clothes you left out to dry are nowhere to be seen.
You would suspect an animal to be behind it but you really don't think there's any here. It's too quiet. Not even an insect has passed you by since you stepped foot on this island.ย 
Perhaps the sensation you felt wasn't just a dream, maybe there's someone โ€“ something โ€“ here.
"You're fine, you're fine," You whisper, digging your hands into the sand to ground yourself. You don't have time to panic. If all of your supplies are gone, it just means you have even less time to locate the creature you came here for. You have to move. Now.
You push yourself up to your feet, dusting sand off your clothes. Your boots are long gone too but you doubt they would have been of much use anyway with the way they were gurgling the night before.
Taking a deep breath, you begin walking towards the thick vegetation a little further up the beach, where the sand meets lush, long grass. The jungle you step into is so dense that the sunlight barely manages to peek through the trees, only small dapples of sunlight flickering across the ground as the leaves move with the wind. The map provided to you didn't show where you would find the mermaid once you reached the island, so you're left to wander aimlessly, pushing aside shrubs and climbing over fallen trees.
Even if you have no idea which way you should be headed, it's almost as if your body knows, your feet carrying you in what you can only hope is the right direction. Your path becomes clear as you break through the trees and find yourself at the edge of the mountain, near the shore. Your journey must have led you to the other side of the island, and the massive cave that's carved out of the mountain is too imposing to be anything but your destination. From the folktales you have heard, it seems like the perfect place to find a mermaid.
The cave mouth is facing out into the ocean, its size big enough to fit a ship through it. You say a small prayer to whatever deity is willing to listen as you square your shoulders and walk in, your barren footsteps echoing into the quiet mountain. You keep close to the wall as you follow the rocky ledge that trails along it, mindful of the stream that runs parallel to your path. The water here is darker, not as willing to divulge what may be lurking beneath its surface. It seems this cave has a paved a road for those with feet and fins.
You follow the ledge as it veers to to left and it soon becomes apparent to you that you have stepped into a tunnel, something much smaller and damper compared to the cave entrance. You can almost graze your fingertips against the mountain above you now.
It doesn't take long before the tunnel opens up before you, showing you sunlight streaming in through holes in the mountain. This cavern is large and wide, showing off a pool of water in the middle of it. You freeze near the edge of the tunnel, still shrouded in its shadows, as you finally lay eyes on the creature you have been searching for โ€“ย the mermaid.
It's lounging in the water, its back turned towards you as it uses its arms to rest on the pool's edge. You find yourself mesmerized by its tail, the massive thing almost as long as a full-grown adult. It's white in colour but the scales appear to have a pearlescent luster to them, shimmers ofย pink and green reflecting in the water.
The mermaid's body resembles a man, showing off a chiseled back and strong muscles as he moves his arms. The mermaid's tousled, light brown hair looks oddly familiar from the back, but you know no men who sport that kind of style. There's no place for vanity in your town.
"Hello?" You call out as you step into the cavern.
You hold your breath as the mermaid flips its body around at the sound of your voice, its strong tail splashing in the water. Dumbfounded, you watch as the mermaid pushes his hair back, revealing a face you already know.
It's the mysterious man from the healing shoppe, the same one that told you to come find the mermaid โ€“ to come find him.
The man grins as he drinks in your shock, his teeth much sharper than you remember them.ย 
"Ah, pretty human, it seems that you decided to save your mother's life after all."
"You.." You struggle to make sense of what you're seeing, none of it adding up. "Who are you?"
"Me? Oh, pardon my manners. You may call me Taehyung, human. I believe you have a request for me?"
A sudden gust of wind comes through the cave as the mermaid utters his name, a loud rattling echoing between the walls of the cavern. You remember hearing that same sound before, the night you stepped into his shop. The moment you glance up to find the source, you find yourself immediately regretting it.
The darkest spots of the cave's ceiling are filled with clumps of hanging bones, all made up of various animals. They rattle as the wind makes them sway, causing them to knock into each other over and over. You swallow thickly as you spot a skull that is very distinctly human, its warning not lost on you.
You scramble a step back as you look back to the water and find Taehyung much closer than before. He's resting casually on the pool's edge, his chin in his hand as he observes you from only a few feet away. His icy gaze is locked on to you and there's a glint in his eye that makes you all too aware that you have nowhere to run. Even if you make it out of the cave, you will still be trapped on the island. The water is Taehyung's domain and you're surrounded by it.
Foolishly naive and desperate as you are, you have let a predator lead you right into his grasp.
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a/n: want to read chapter two right away? you can! just click here and it'll bring you straight to early access ๐Ÿ’–
welcome to the third installment in the crimson shell universe (all of the stories are stand alones though, so you'll be fine even if you haven't read the others)!! i know we didn't see too much of tae in this chapter but i can promise you he'll make plenty of apperances in the next one ๐Ÿ‘€ this is a yandere mermaid story, but this fic will be... softer (?) in comparison to the others! i'd love to know what you think so far!! ๐Ÿ’–
the next(/final) chapter will be posted in three weeks time! if you don't want to wait and would like to support me, you can read it now through early access on my kofi! the link is above. thank you!! ๐Ÿ’–
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snakeredbirdbatkatana ยท 1 month ago
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"I'm angry at you" Tim forces out.
It's been a long time coming, the words that have been circling his mind for years. Rotting the back of his throat.
Jason is Bruce's son in a way that he will never be. It's just a simple fact.
Maybe he could have picked a different time maybe a family dinner wasn't the place, but he was the one that spent year's of his life having to dodge bullets and murder attempts. He had to spend month's in physical therapy after the tower.
The place he felt safe was ripped away because Jason who is traumatized he hasn't forgot that fact, decided to hunt him down and hurt him.
Maybe Robin isn't a child, but Tim Drake was.
He turns to Bruce who's face is of course blank he's the one who wants Jason here yet not an emotion in sight.
Turns back to look Jason in the eye the man who's sitting next to Damian sometimes he wonders if Alfred does it on purpose a way to remind Tim that his murderers will always have something he doesn't.
He will look him in the eye he will not falter today.
"I was a child, I should have never been the exception to your rule. Say what you will about Robin being something else but you didn't care about Robin you cared it was me"
Silence it's funny how comforting it can be.
"I should not have to sit at the same table as two of my attempted murderers and pretend that it's ok. You are both traumatized I understand that but it will never be an excuse for traumatizing me. I see the Red hood and Robin in my nightmares."
He turns to look at Dick who as always is to the right of him once again pointing to Alfred doing this seating on purpose.
"You are a hypocrite who has never shut up about drying but goes out his way to kill another Robin."
He sees Alfred step forward closer to Bruce he wonders what the point is will he say anything, not likely but why move he almost asks yet if he doesn't finish he never will.
"This was your home first it still is, but I have bled and given more than you will ever know to secure my place here. So Bruce I do not ever want to partnered with either one of them in the field. You or Dick are the only options. You will not argue with me this is me laying my boundaries which I am entitled to."
He stares at Alfred loosing the blank look to let some of the anger out. He wants him to know.
"You will also never again force me to sit at a dinner table across from them again. Whatever British Passive-Aggressive gesture this is. You have no right to do. I will never forgive you for my birthday."
Dick goes to interrupt he doesn't let him.
"Bruce and Alfred have my full permission to discuss the psychological torture they put me through as my birthday present. But from now on none of you get to treat me as if I am some replacement or placeholder. I am a person with feelings, I will not be treated like a doormat."
He makes eye contact with each of them Alfred, Bruce, Jason and Damian.
Before turning to Dick for the last part.
"You are the only person here who has never deliberately hurt me, your my brother and I love you. I want to spend more time with you and I am specifically requesting that you come with me when I leave this table. We can get dinner or hang out but I need you to leave with me."
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Bruce is speechless.
How did he do this, his child is sitting at his table trembling and he can't move.
His child who just spent ten minutes defending himself and he is doing nothing.
Dick interrupts what he can admit is a pity party.
"Your my brother, I will happily follow you to the ends of the earth and if we leave now we can go to the Thai place that you like."
He can't let them leave he has to say something.
Tell Tim that he loves him, that he can fix this that this isn't the end. That it matters but before he can there gone.
His boys leave.
His precious sons, one loyal to a fault and one hurt beyond measure and what did he do nothing.
What he always does nothing.
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lilacgaby ยท 2 months ago
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satoru, renowned as the strongest sorcerer in the world.
curses themselves had to evolve to restore the balance of his presence on the earth, he blasted holes through bodies and exorcised curses in milliseconds.
but even he, was scared of something. specifically, you. an angry you.
his daughter and him were roughhousing around the house, play fighting when he pretended to get hit in the chest by one of her punches. he stumbled back dramatically, his hand on his forehead as he made a mockful face of pain, making his toddler laugh. he was about to 'recover,' before slipping slightly on a rug, grabbing at the table next to him to stabilize himself.
only for him to end up breaking your favorite mug collection. the one you'd gotten from your honeymoon vacation in the caribbean, the one you raved about for months, he honestly didn't know why you liked those stupid mugs. but they were gone anyways.
"uh oh!" his daughter yelled, her hands shooting up to cover her mouth. her blue eyes that matched his widening at the glass on the floor. his face mirrored hers almost perfectly, both his hands shooting up to grasp his head. "uh oh is right!"
as if the world wanted to mock him, he heard footsteps start climbing up the stairs up to your home. he was internally panicking, as he picked up your daughter. "do this for me and i'll buy you a toy."
"toy?" she gleefully asked, before putting up a thumbs up. "okay!"
"yes, toy." he sat her onto the countertop, "just don't say anything okay? mouth closed like this." with his hand he zipped his mouth closed, locked it, and stuffed it into his pocket, making her repeat the actions with a determined nod.
you walked in, to the scene of satoru dramatically cleaning the shards of glass, his hand wiping sweat that wasn't even there, as he looked up at you with a flip of his hair. "honey, you're home! i wish i could've cleaned earlier but, our baby made a mess."
a deadpanned expression came over your face as your obviously guilty husband, and your smiling daughter tried their best to convince you.
"come on, you can't be mad at these faces." he hugged their faces close to eachother, both their eyes wide and piercing into you.
they spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning it up.
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mindfulstudyquest ยท 3 months ago
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โฅ๏น’โ™ก๏น’โ˜•๏น’ ๐—ผ๐—ณ๐—ณ-๐˜€๐—ฐ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐—ถ ๐—น๐—ถ๐—ธ๐—ฒ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฑ๐—ฒ-๐˜€๐˜๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜€๐˜€ ( just pretend i wasn't gone for months guys )
between smartphones, computers, ipads, and screens everywhere, sometimes i feel like i have pudding instead of a brain and i need to engage in three-dimensional activities that don't involve staring at pixels all day, here are some ideas to get in touch with creativity and real word again.
๐Ÿญ. drawing and colouring ( ๐ŸŽจ )
whether it's drawing landscapes, characters from your favorite series or simple doodles, putting the pen on the paper relaxes me instantly. if you are not good at freehand drawing or you're simply lazy, there are many coloring books for adults with mandalas (my personal favorites) or animals/natural landscapes, also online you can find many drawings to color that you can print. in discount stores you can find packs of colored markers at a great price, after all we don't need to be professionals.
๐Ÿฎ. puzzles and diamond paintings ( ๐Ÿงฉ )
i recently discovered diamond paintings and i'm obsessed with them, on amazon you can find many sets with amazing designs and composing them is really relaxing. having something to focus on for a few hours a day is really essential, puzzles are perfect for this purpose too.
๐Ÿฏ. reading and writing ( ๐Ÿ“š )
this is a more challenging activity, when we are burnout the last thing we want to do is use our brain, but reading a good novel or writing down a few pages in your journal can distract you from the present moment and give you a bit of a break while still keeping you productive. every second spent reading or writing is a second invested in your personal growth.
๐Ÿฐ. experiment with outfits and makeup ( โœจ )
i have a lot of clothes but zero outfits, my favorite activity is decluttering my closet, putting away things i don't wear anymore and experimenting with new styles. also sitting at my desk and trying new makeup that's different from my usual eyeliner and mascara, i find it so fun and it's a great way to reconnect with my image when i've spent a month stuck in my room studying.
๐Ÿฑ. cooking and baking ( ๐Ÿง )
i'm not a good cook and i've burned more cakes than i care to admit, but i have to say it's terribly fun and therapeutic, especially if you're cooking with someone. u think anyone who cooks professionally hates having a second person in the kitchen with them, but when friends make a cake (ugly but tasty) and then eat it together in front of a cup of steaming tea - now, now, that's real therapy.
๐Ÿฒ. working out, dancing, doing yoga ( ๐Ÿฉฐ )
put on some music, dance in your room, follow your workout routine, lay out a mat and do stretching or yoga, connect with your body after being locked in your mind, physical activity is very important to keep your mind fresh ( mens sana in corpore sano ). if you can, go to a park, or an open space, just be careful of excessive stimuli.
these are some of the things i do, feel free to comment on your de-stressing activities.
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