#prestidigitator pun

[scuffedclang]

Pun would totally sell her likeness for a giant Inquest recruitment hologram in Rata Sum, to the dismay of her work colleagues that bless the time they get to spend away from her.

Also screw it, take a template if you wanna draw your characters depressed in an old Blade Runner meme format.

I dunno why I like tormenting Krii so much, he totally deserves it though.

[scuffedclang]

I think she might be doing it wrong.

Asura in oversized sweaters, you say? 😳 @the-skrool

[we-are-a-dragon]

Marijn (playing Godric): Can I use prestidigitation to clean the oil off a floor tile?

DM: Sure. Underneath is an intricate mosaic in smaller red and white tiles, severely cracked and broken but now perfectly clean. The oil on the surrounding squares gradually begins to seep back onto it.

Marijn: Could I just go around and clean each square as we come to it?

DM: I suppose so.

Tati (playing Seraph): I'll join in.

Marijn: I didn't realise when you said this dungeon would be a clean and sweep, it was literal.

Hamish (playing Thaddeus): *impatient* Is this necessary? We're an adventuring party, not a cleaning company.

[monstersdownthepath]

Monster Spotlight: Liminal Sprite

CR 2

Chaotic Neutral Tiny Fey

Bestiary 5, pg. 158

These little ladies are afflicted by an absolutely bizarre curse, one which prevents them from ever sleeping inside a building or outside in the open. Thus, as their name suggests, the Liminal Sprites must find transitory places that are neither inside nor outside if they wish to actually rest, but there is also a loophole that allows Liminal Sprites to sleep anywhere that's both inside and outside. Thus, these moths are drawn to civilization, as human construction has created marvels such as porches, bridges,, stairwells, gazebos, vehicles of every description, and hallways which connect two buildings together. Liminal Sprites which end up trapped out in the wilderness must find hollow trees, caves, or even animal dens before they succumb to exhaustion.

Why they possess this strange and paradoxical curse is anyone's guess, as who or whatever placed it upon them is either long gone or no longer known. It may be, as most fey curses, a form of punishment that afflicts their entire bloodline, and whether or not they deserve it is determined entirely by whether or not you've been targeted by their pranks. Liminal Sprites are among the Fey breeds who love, love, love interacting with/pestering mortalkind for their own amusement, taking in all the local news and gossip from their hiding places or shrouding themselves with their 3/day Invisibility while using their extremely swift 60ft fly speed to flutter around busy markets, theaters, and other places of congregation so they may passively absorb whatever's going on in their city. They become sponges for the who's-who in the city, the He's and She's of the he-said-she-said games, though how they use this information is entirely up to them.

Unlike their fellow social butterflies (pun intended), the Danthienne, Liminal Sprites aren't compelled to stir up trouble for the sake of it. Some lean towards Good, using their powers to cause fouler sorts of people to make fools of themselves, while others lean towards Evil and humiliate anyone trying to make their lives better. Most, however, flip flop back and forth depending entirely on whether or not they like a given individual and can be a boon or a bane. A Liminal Sprite wishing to ruin someone's speech can use Fumbletongue 3/day to turn their next 1d4 rounds of words into meaningless babble, or use their at-will Daze to make someone freeze up entirely as though claimed by stage fright.

To anyone they wish to help, Liminal Sprites may use Memory Lapse 3/day to erase a mistake from the mind of an onlooker, or use their at-will Prestidigitation to make their lives a little bit better overall, but more importantly they may sit on the shoulder of their new friend and offer kind advice. Their witty Repartee allows them to take the Aid Another action with Charisma-based skill checks and add +2d4 to the result instead of the normal +2 up to three times a day, meaning the target can get anywhere from +2 to +8 in their attempts to beguile, bluff, or boast past another... or +2d4 to Performance and Use Magic Device checks.

Liminal Sprites are performers themselves, and take little seriously. This, they're able to use Versatile Performance to substitute Bluff and Intimidate checks with Perform (Comedy), which they have +8 to, because c'maaaahn, c'mahn, they're just little guys! they're so little! AND it's their birthday! you're not gonna hit a little guy on his birthday, are ya? But you can't let that routine work on you, or they'll go right back to scrambling your speech and mucking up your memory. Fittingly enough, the book states people wanting a Sprite gone often turn loose animals that their performance won't work against and their magic won't affect, because a trained dog can sniff them out even after they've turned invisible. A dog might have a hard time surpassing the Sprite's DR 5/cold iron, but being chewed on and thrashed about by an animal still hurts even if it doesn't do any damage to the little Fey, so it's still a surefire way to make the Sprite abandon its home in your porch.

No, they're not really a danger to your dog, either. The only damage a Sprite has is its tiny rapier, which deals 1d3-1 damage, so it's only a real hazard if it leads your pooch somewhere dangerous, or if it uses Prestidigitation to skunk-spray the dog. Really, the best part about it is that it condemns the Sprite to madness if it can't find somewhere else to sleep fast enough. A more kind-hearted soul can easily make a Liminal Sprite kind as well, leaving offerings of food and keeping the Fey company each night out on their porch, and a caster of 7th level or higher who's willing to work around their unfortunate resting restrictions can even take one on as a Familiar! Fun fact: Extradimensional spaces fit nicely into the Sprite's curse loophole... Just make sure enough air gets in.

Or, y'know, you could just let them use your tent like a normal person. Not as funny, though.

You can read more about them here.

[datacreations]

The Loud Siblings as in DnD.

For this I am going to use 5e because have more content than the 2024 version, and some characters gonna have options of class and subclass because I can´t decide, if you want just give me your ideas, let´s begin.

All of the Loud Siblings are Variant Human so they have a Feat.

Lily: Is a toddler she shouldn´t be an adventurer in her age.

Lisa: Is an Artificer with the Battle Smith Speciality, The Artificer is the science class of DnD, and the Battle Smith subclass gives the Steel Defender who is basically a Robot who fights with the Artificer who make them, kinda like Todd and Mister Titanium Arms in the serie, her Feat is the Skilled for only sets of Tools.

Lola: Is a Sorcerer with the Draconic Bloodline (Gold dragon ancestry) sublclass, the reason is because the Sorcerer powers come from one self like talents also she have the character of a stereotype dragon (Have a hoard of jewels, gets angry easily, and likes being in command), her Feat is Gift of the Gem Dragon because she thinks they´re the prettiest of Dragons.

Lana: She is a Druid of the Shepherd Circle, The Druid have the ability of transform in animals and the Shepherd Circle can summon creatures of the woods, that can be all the animals friends that Lana make, her Feat is the Artificer Initiate to her ability to repair thanks to the proficiencie in smith tools.

Lucy: She is a Wizard of the Necromancy School, The Wizard have Spellbook and Lucy already play one in the comics, her Feat is the Shadow Touched just for aestethic reasons.

Lincoln: He is difficult because is supposed that he is the normal one in the Family but by how he has been development he could be a Rogue either with the Inquisitive or Mastermind (because the plans he makes) or even Arcane Trickster (because he likes magic), he have the feat Magic Initiate for the cantrips Light and Prestidigitation and as a 1 level spell Find Familiar either way.

Lynn: A lot of you can think she is a Barbarian by how she acts an her physical strenght and that people are wrong because she is actually a Fighter with the Battle Master subclass because the sports she play need technique not only strenght, her feat is Lucky for her superstitions, also she have the Unarmed Fighting for her punches, one of the Fighting Style.

Luan: She is either a Cleric of Trickery Domain or a Bard from the Collegue of Eloquence, the first for her pranks and the last for her jokes and puns, her feat could be either Actor or Strixhaven Mascot but the Mascot is actually Mr. Coconuts.

Luna: She is a College of Glamour Bard, thats is because that way her presentations are important as the song she is playing, and this is the one that fit better to her, her feat is Fey Touched no reason behind except Mick Swagger could be a Fey Creature.

Leni: She is a Divine Soul Sorcerer , this is becauseSorcerer is Charisma (Social Smarts) class, Leni´s principal smarts so I can´t decide, her feat is Skilled.

Lori: She is a Paladin Oath of the Glory (yeah word pun), this is because Lori can be as competitive as Lynn when something cross her mind (the episode Selfie Improvement is an example), but also she have a Fighting Style the Protection one, her Feat is Alert she needs this to be near her siblings.

[scuffedclang]

I’ve come back to the pits of hell just to share crime rats.

Prestidigitator Pun

My main Inquest gal, an oddball that has her own theory that she aims to prove is true. The four humours theory, a theory based purely on someone saying that laughter is the best medicine to her when she was a progeny. This led to her being laughed out of college and right into the Inquest, she still very much gets laughed at, but she has managed to become quite the powerful mesmer and has spent some time gathering many connections, at least enough to be considered a threat by some.

Accumulator Choom

A collector of... Well, anything and anyone that he finds interesting really. He rarely contributes anything to the Inquest in a scientific way, but he certainly does churn out gold to anyone willing to bring him what he wants, which is why he joined the Inquest. Since morals are very lacking and it makes it so much easier to add to his collection.

Seeker Krii

The perfect Inquest sycophant, he will often do anything high-ranking Inquest individuals ask of him, but there is always the want in the back of his mind to become more than a mere lackey, if an opportunity were to present itself where he could do so he would grasp it with zero hesitation.

That's all of my Inquest so far, no doubt I'll have plenty more in the future.

Alright peeps time for another Show Off Your Characters post.

Can't believe I haven't made this one already, but today's topic is: Inquest!

Share the worst of your worst. I want to see all your amoral criminals, tortured minds & misunderstood tragedies. Talk about them as much or little as you want, drop some pics. 3, 2, 1 go:

[viviennevivisection]

Session 25 Notes - “Family Tree Dinner” - 12/18/22

-We have traded Norman Steele’s evil sword for necklaces that protect us against scrying

-Naomi -- earrings

-VE -- amulet 

-Cass -- anklet 

-The Avapedia page for Residuum is locked from being edited…the reason (allegedly) is that people were spreading misinformation

-The information that is there: it is usually mined, the essence of the material can be changed, it is malleable, different sources can give different types of minerals

-Ellie used her editor’s access to check the page

-It’s been locked down for a LONG TIME, there aren’t many changes, actually

-Avapedia needs funding, TC provides this and perhaps has some access to do shit like this 

-Cass has made Naomi an enhanced arcane focus 

-Writing a letter to Dr. Cunt 

Dear Dr. Cunt, 

Dr. Celadon Hunt, 

We hope this letter finds you in good health. We are interested to know what your current standing is.

-LETTER SCRAPPED WE ARE CALLING HER 

-Called Helix Labs, and spoke the receptionist (Tina) who after checking the files gave us Dr. Cunt’s personal cell number 

-She is “on vacation” in Aurora 

-Seems to be scheming, is interested in meeting with us, getting dinner

-She already had gotten lunch with someone we know (?)

-Many dragon puns were made 

-Leah is bringing her fiance Adrian to dinner, she is already back in town because she was called home by the Coralogia 

-Ellie is asking Vytris who Dr. Cunt was getting lunch with 

-Cass is casting detect magic, watching us commune 

-Both of us got (separate) voice memos

-Ellie’s vision more or less confirms that it was Angie (code name Angelica Astris) who Dr. Cunt met with, a vision of both of them checking out Ellie’s file at AC 

-Ellie lied to try and protect Angie -- Cass called her out. She came clean and Cass and Naomi admitted that they don’t HATE Angie (especially not as much after The Search For Ellie) 

-The Pritchard Home is a SHOES OFF household

-The Ezras are in Rosewood

-Ezra Darcy sent Cass a video of him casting prestidigitation 

-Making a plan to try and “wake up” Halloway if Fleur is HARD #confirmed to be evil 

-Rosewood was over forested and turned into a ghost town

-Trying to crimson bond Angie (she resisted), but she does seem to be generally okay at the moment 

-It’s Monday!! Are you ready? 

-We’re driving to dinner 

6-6:15: Arrival Time 

6:30 Sharp: Dinner Begins

-We are going to be on time 

-Outfits!

-Cass- business bitch clothes, Dodder intern era, thrifted but chic, high-waisted, wide-leg brown trousers, a wide, scoop neck sweater, green buttons down the sleeve, wearing her docs, but no goggles so her horns are visible

-Naomi- high neck, long sleeve dress to the ankles, a belt-like corset, new, weird jewelry (The Viv x Riley Collection?), looks completely appropriate until you look too long at which point the outfit feels slightly uncanny 

-Viv- floor length red gown, up to the neck, sleeveless with long gloves, hair done up, and eight inch bedazzled heels

-We have brought a clown suit (you never know!)

-The drive to Corsica is about 45 minutes (similar to going to Tennefly from NYC)

-There is only one exit in or out for Corsica 

-Very suburbia-core, cookie-cutter, so perfect that it’s uncanny 

-We (Viv and Cass) feel a shiver down our spine like we’re being followed, watched. We feel a staunch and visceral gut feeling to GET OUT 

-Naomi feels as if she has stepped into quicksand, the more you struggle, the more you sink 

-Welcome to Corsica :) 

-DN is there…”The phaaaaantom of Naomi is there….inside your mind…” 

-She is fidgety 

-Ezra certainly has the same sinking feeling as Naomi 

-The town set up perfect -- a main road that cuts through three rings (like a power button) 

-The center of the city has a greco-style library, with beautiful gardens. This is the Collection Hall 

-”The Sanctum” is also there 

-THIS PLACE IS NOT PUBLIC (unsure if I meant Corsica generally, or The Collection Hall and The Sanctum…probably all of the above) 

-We pass Corsica Prep (famously Leah’s job) 

-The community is very self-sustaining, very little need of the outside world

-There are two cars in the driveway at the Pritchard Home 

-Naomi’s parents, Leah, and…Dr. Whitmer 

-”It’s bad vibes for sure…” 

Naomi: “I don’t think any of this is going to be real, so don’t freak out.” 

-We are buffing the HELL out of Naomi (warding bond, and enhance ability) 

-Johanna is here -- looks like Leah. Blonde with crazy eyes, wearing a turtleneck and slacks 

-She gives Naomi a look with no emotion that still manages to be disappointed AND withering 

Naomi: “Mama, he’s like a service animal.” (On Watts)

-We won the battle of Watts (Johanna didn’t want him in the house) 

-Viv took off her bedazzled stripper heels 

-NO TV, ONLY BOOK

-Cyrus Pritchard -- dad

-Adrian (Leah fiance) seems sociable and nice 

-None of the seats are particularly comfortable, but they look nice!

-Adrian works in advertising -- Omni-Spark 

-CTV is one their accounts 

-We got Adrian’s business card (his last name is Williams) 

-Playing games with Dr. Whitmer 

-Convincing her that I’m open to converting 

-Trying to get invited to lecture night with the Coralogia 

-Dinner time!

-Naomi is causing fear in Whiter and Johanna (uno reversing them by making everything seem just a little uncanny, low level bee sounds) 

-Johanna is affected, but Whitmer seemed to catch and absorb the spell -- will certainly notice any spells casted but…may not mind? 

-The menu is very health food vibes -- it’s all shit idc 

-Viv is drinking wine that she brought herself 

-Hallucinatory terrain has been cast by Naomi -- Whitmer can certainly see it, but it’s hidden from everyone else for the moment 

-The spell has Leah’s eyeballs on her plate, make the periphery of everyone’s vision The Wild Lands, Naomi served beautifully upon the dinner table -- half Hannibal, half body of Christ 

-Dr. Halloway is a powerful asset to the university? → Naomi said that Fleur offered her some sort of job 

-”What can you do that’s better?” 

-Adrian knows the game he’s playing

-He is going to be an elder scholar -- has received some special honor. He’s been tapped for the Bestowing, a secretive ceremony, very spooky secret, a closed practice

-Dr. W is on our frequency (can hear us communicate over the telepathic bond) 

-Dragging Leah through the mud 

-Cass mentioned that we were invited to dinner with Dr. Cunt -- said Ezra still has his job at Helix 

-Dr. Whitmer knows secrets…has always seemed to know things she shouldn't

-Cyrus works in collection -- procurement for the library 

-Johanna does budget management for the schools -- on the faculty and staff side 

-Cass implying nepotism to further drag Leah 

-Adrian getting tapped for the Bestowing has changed the wedding date 

-Dr. ESTER Whitmer (first name reveal) 

-Whitmer is doing some fuck shit, we feel like we’re going to pass out, everyone can see Naomi’s spell and everyone is scared, the shadow version of everyone lifts their chins and covers their eyes, freezing them. Whitmer is the puppet master, she tried (and failed) to get DN and we can actually see DN!!!

-Namoi grabbed DN’s hand 

-Whitmer is slowly looking less human, almost like DN 

-She sounds like the Coralogia (multiple voices I think?)

-It is game time, girls

Naomi: “You don’t understand what you did to me.” 

Whitmer: “What happened to you was unfortunate, but we can fix it still.” 

Naomi: “There isn’t fixing…this…” (DN is becoming scarier) 

Whitmer: “You haven’t…she has to consume.” 

Naomi: “So she can live like the rest of them?” 

Whitmer: “So you can be like us. So you can lead.” 

Naomi: “Oh, that sounds like a bad deal.” 

Whitmer: “Sad to see an intelligent mind go to waste.” 

Naomi: “You could have avoided all this by being honest with me for two seconds.” 

Whitmer: “You understand that we can’t let you do as you wish. You’re too much of a risk. If you choose not to honor the path that’s been set for you and disregard The Grove, and its tending, we will have no choice.” 

Whitmer: “Let us guide you. We must. You cannot escape the whole. And you need to feed.” 

Naomi: “You need me. You’re going to need to make a better sale than that.” 

Whitmer: “What is it you want?” 

Naomi: “Nothing you can give me.” 

Whitmer: “We are capable of…impossible things.” 

Naomi: “Like siphoning off the divine magic of my entire family?” 

Whitmer: “Things you wouldn’t believe.” 

Naomi: “I am so sick of being spoken to in riddles. You could be doing a lot better and you are simply not.” 

Whitmer: “Then lead us. Let me show you the truth.” 

Naomi: “Show me.” 

Whitmer: “Are you sure you want this?” 

Naomi: “Do they get hurt?” 

Whitmer: “Collateral damage.” 

-Whitmer has taken control of the hallucinatory terrain -- has manifested The Grove. She has let the shadows go except for Adrian. We see the trees. We hear the heartbeats. There is a big, expansive central tree. Its roots expand out and also lift it off the ground so one could go under it. The tree is writhing? 

-The mind is like a grove. 

-Maybe the mind is A LOT more like a grove than we thought, in a literal way

-The central tree has an echo of divinity, but doesn’t seem to divine in and of itself 

-There is connection between this Thing and the reflection pools 

-Naomi is…praying! But not in the normal way :) 

-We are stumbling into dangerous consequences 

-Dr. Whitmer is in her Other Mother Era 

-She is DROOLING a lot 

-She’s expending a lot of power to do what she’s doing right now 

-We get the familiar feeling of waiting for the static shock 

-We are extremely close to the Root, many things could happen. We feel like we’re being pulled apart

Whitmer: “It's a shame, really. To waste such a valuable mind. One who was to become like us. But if this is what will convince you…so be it.”

-Her jaw has unhinged entirely and she has chomped down upon shadow Adrian’s head 

-She has consumed his essence

-Slurping 

-Dr. W chomped him in real life too 

-DN IS DROOLING! FERAL!! Blood in the water!

-The Main Tree shivers and quakes with the consumption of Adrian, makes a scary ass sound 

-Adrian has slumped down into his food 

-He has been K I L L E D?!

-We tried to revivify him, but needed to hit a nat 20, did not, and we couldn’t bring him back. Still trying to help

-Whitmer straight up ATE his soul 

-Cyrus has seen this happen before (the soul munch -- smunch) 

Naomi, to Cyrus: “You knew that that’s what they were going to do to me?” 

-Whitmer had an excess of divine energy that receded -- unclear if that’s her stopping channeling the magic or digesting the divinity from the smunch 

-The Tree -- a hive mind? You know everything but you’re dead? Being able to harvest the knowledge of the trees in the grove? 

Naomi, to Leah: “Are you okay with this?” 

-No real response from her 

Naomi: “You deserve better.” 

-DN has grabbed Leah’s shadow from The Grove, Naomi can do whatever she wants with it 

-Naomi showed her what happened, what we saw Whitmer do 

Whitmer: “Don’t waste any more precious minds.” 

-Cass has pulled a gun on Whitmer: “I dare you to try.” 

-Rolls for initiative have been called 

Cass

Naomi 

? 

Whitmer 

Viv

General Family 

[the-punforgiven]

Isekai anime that's just some bullshit like 'Transported To A Fantasy World With A Cool Magic System But I Only Get One Cantrip' but the protagonist gets Prestidigitation so they make it work

[thumpersdae]

heres my dnd charactor (mis)using "prestidigitation"

[prismatic-et-al]

finally finished sleep no more! give it a click if you’re a supporter of the following: puns, prestidigitation, descriptions of comfortable beds, ridiculous arguments, awkward compliments, spooky inns, magical redbull, platonic marriage, sparkly boats, and above all? missing sasha rackett. 

[scuffedclang]

I wanted to do a redraw of the lil' devious guy sat on a ledge thing, but I thought it'd be really funny to put the how difficult of a person are you to get along with quiz graph behind her.

[orcamorca]

Sometimes, moments during a session just.. requires a drawing! 

First picture is of My Druid Ilenia and Our Eldritch knight Danyell having a very sibling like moment. 

She asked if he could help with her looks. Prestidigitation - Mushtashe! Annoyed she told him she wanted to get cleaned. And due to a pun in my language, our dear Danyell decided to go ham on the sibling energy, and give her Antlers instead. 

He was VERY proud of himself, Ilenia was very tired of his Shenanigans x3 If you cannot tell. I love their Dynamic. 

The Second picture is.. CURSED to say the least. It came from a Beholder fight. Ilenia shooting a Nat 20 arrow coated with a philic of  love, the beholder failed it’s save and fell in love with our Paladin. Safe to say our Paladin Crit it twice and took it down. It’s last moments being a blushy haze. 

It is the most CURSED thing I have ever created. 

[nerdythebard]

#12: The Doctor [Doctor Who]

Brother, I disown you...

I don't know what my friend/chosen brother was thinking when he made this request... Actually, no, I know exactly what he was thinking! Well, no time to dawdle, let's do this Time Warp. Again.

Next Time: Before we return to the gods, I want to make a character very close to my heart. He is also a Doctor... only, word of warning, he's a little... Strange.

Well then... sigh, let's see the goals we need to meet to make the most brilliant alien in television playable in D&D:

Heroes Never Die: The signature ability of a Time Lord (and the most problematic), a way to cheat death and return to life. Yes, somehow we need to make a virtually immortal character in Dungeons & Dragons...

Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Even in his relatively serious regenerations, the Doctor is prone to flashes of randomness, acts of nonsense, mixing puns and physical comedy to often hide the incredibly fast and advanced brain processes.

Go-Go Gadget Galore: Do I even need to say anything? Besides his trusty TARDIS (which will not be included here, we're making the Doctor, not his equipment!), the Doctor also brandishes sonic devices of multiple varieties, psychic paper, the thing that goes DING, etc.

---

As you can imagine, finding the right race replacement for Time Lords wasn't easy. I'm definitely not using The-Movie-That-Does-Not-Exist solution, and making the Doctor... half-human, urgh. All we need to do is find a humanoid, almost-fossil race that can come back from death a limited amount of times.

The Doctor is a Human Revenant, a playtest race from Unearthed Arcana: Gothic Heroes. In-game, Revenant is an undead that came back to life to pursue a certain goal, whether it's vengeance, retribution, or to make amends. Putting some flavour into it, and turning it into a long-living, mysterious being who perhaps came from the Astral Plane to search for a way to save his home planet... why not? Regular Revenants get only a +1 to Constitution, but if we're using pre-existing race (such as Human), there's another set of rules. So, we get a +1 Constitution and +1 Intelligence, and we don't get to pick a skill or a feat. Not yet.

What's most important here is the Revenant's Relentless Nature feature. We are assigned a goal, a very specific one, that we must complete in order to achieve peace. Work with your DM on that one (the saving-your-home-world one from before sounds like a good start). Until we complete the goal:

If we are below Hit Points Maximum, at the start of our turn we regain 1 Hit Point;

We know the distance and direction to any creature involved in our goal (perhaps a fellow, once-friend Time Lord?);

When we die, we come back to life within 24 hours with 1 Hit Point. If our body is destroyed, we come back in a spot within 1 mile of our place of death (unfortunately, our equipment is destroyed);

BOOM! JUST FLAVOUR EACH DEATH AS A CHANGE OF FACE AND PERSONALITY, AND WE HAVE THE REGENERATION SYSTEM! HAH! YOU SEE THAT, BROTHER!?

Ekhm... back to work, then.

The Doctor is pretty far from home, so giving him the Far Traveller background seems like the right approach. We gain proficiencies in Insight and Perception skills, proficiencies with one musical instrument (perhaps a recorder?)/gaming set, we learn one language of our choice, and we get the All Eyes on You feature; our mannerisms and quirks definitely draw attention towards us and our group, but we can take advantage of that in order to fish for some information, secure an audience with the local nobleman, or... I dunno, snog Madame de Pompadour?

ABILITY SCORES

No surprise there, we start with Intelligence. We have a literal Big Galaxy Brain™ and we use it often, and only sometimes to show off. Follow that up with Dexterity, we're nimble and we're doing a lot of running, especially when being chased (plus, we've invented the Drunken Giraffe dance). Constitution is next, the Gallifreyan biology is significantly superior to that of regular Terrans.

Next up, Charisma. It usually works, sometimes it doesn't, but even then we're kinda adorkable. Wisdom is a little low, I think we all shall agree to that, the Doctor is a creature of whim. He gets lost in thought, has a hard time remembering to explain his logic to others. Finally, we're dumping Strength. Now, we're definitely physically stronger than humans, I just don't remember any particular feats of super-strength in the show.

Heck, you want even more Time Lord shenanigans? Ask your DM to implement the "every death/regeneration makes all ability scores randomly switch places" rule.

CLASS

Level 1 - Artificer: Once again, nobody is surprised we begin with the Smart & Techy One™ for the Doctor. Artificers were brought to 5e via Tasha's Cauldron of Everything. These magical tinkers have d8 Hit Dice, [8 + Constitution modifier] initial Hit Points, proficiencies with light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and optionally firearms (although that's definitely not the Doctor's style). We additionally get proficiency with thieves' tools, tinker's tools, and one set of artisan's tools we choose. We can't get the sonic screwdriver (although if you want one, hint to your DM about the existence of the All-Purpose Tool), we have all these tools to replace it with. Our saving throws are Constitution and Intelligence, and we get to pick two class skills: let's get History and Investigation.

Artificers start with Magical Tinkering, an ability to bestow harmless magical properties onto inanimate objects. We choose a Tiny object with no magic in it, and grant it one of the following properties indefinitely:

It sheds bright light for 5 feet and dim light for an additional 5;

Whenever tapped, the object plays a recorded message no longer than six seconds;

The object continuously emits a smell or a sound of our choice;

A static image (picture, lines of text, shapes, etc.) appear on the object's surface.

Artificers are also casters, so at the first level, we get Spellcasting. Our casting ability is, of course, Intelligence and the number of spells we can prepare is equal to [our Intelligence modifier + half of our Artificer level rounded down]. We also know how to cast rituals.

We start with two cantrips:

Magic Stone lets us imbue three pebbles with magic (or perhaps, in this case, kinetic energy?) for 1 minute. We can then use the pebbles ourselves, or give them to somebody else. On a successful hit, the target suffers [1d6 + our Intelligence modifier] bludgeoning damage and the spell ends on that particular pebble.

Prestidigitation is a cantrip of plenty varieties, which very well could be disguised as the Doctor's tinkering with his sonic screwdriver. It can be used to warm or chill food, clean or soil objects, or perhaps lighting and snuffing our small flames.

We start with two 1st-level spell slots, and we get three 1st-level spells:

Alarm sets up a secured perimeter, no larger than a 20-feet cube, for 8 hours. Whenever a create not-designated as safe while setting the spell, crosses its boundary, we get a signal informing us about the intrusion, which also wakes us up if we're sleeping. The signal can be set to inform only us, or everybody around.

Detect Magic informs us of any magical activity within 30 feet of us for 10 minutes (concentration). We sense magic lingering on objects, people, as well as locations, and we can determine the type of magic present (but not a particular spell, for example, we sense that a spell on the object is enchantment-type, but not that it's Power Word: Kill).

Identify is... pretty much the one function of the sonic screwdriver we've all seen. It lets us learn about an object we choose, including its magical properties (if any) and if it's affected by any spells. And it works on wood!

With a spell list like that, we can safely say

Level 2 - Artificer: We continue with the Tech Savvy Class, and we learn the Artificer's signature skill, Infuse Item. It lets us bestow magical properties onto mundane items. Similarly to Warlock's Invocations, Artificers have Infusions they can select and put into items. Starting from this level, we can infuse two items at once, and we get to pick four Infusions from the list. For the Doctor, let's pick:

Replicate Magic Item: Bag of Holding is probably the most useful infusion in the early game. The infusion does exactly what it says, and a Bag of Holding is always a good item to own (just watch out for the Bag Man!)

Enhanced Defence infusion puts some extra protection (+1 to AC) onto an armour or a shield.

Mind Sharpener is a helping hand for any spellcaster. The infusion put onto an armour, or woven into a robe, sends a jolt to re-focus the mind. When the wearer fails a Constitution saving throw to keep their concentration, one charge (out of four) of the infusion expends, to make them succeed instead. The charges are refilled at dawn.

Returning Weapon gives a +1 to attack and damage rolls of the weapon it's applied on and makes it return to the wielder's hand immediately after it's used to make a ranged attack. With the keyword "immediately", it gives your Rangers and other bow-users infinite ammunition with just one arrow.

We can also get one more 1st-level spell: Disguise Self changes our appearance for 1 hour, or until we choose to dismiss it as an action. The spell affects our body, clothing, and items we carry (including weapons). It is not a physical disguise, just an illusion woven around us; if we make ourselves thinner than we really are, and somebody was to touch the space where our regular body would be, they're going to feel the body, albeit invisible. For the Doctor, this seems like a combination of psychic paper and the Chameleon Circuit.

Level 3 - Artificer: At this level, we get the Right Tool for the Job feature. If we have thieves' tools or artisan's tools in hand, we can create any other set of artisan's tools.

We also get to pick our subclass, our Artificer Specialization. The Doctor is no alchemist, and we'll probably build Tony Stark at some time in the future, therefore we're picking Battle Smith. Those tinkers are masters of protections, being able to put up defensive mechanisms on the spot. Since the Doctor is a diplomat first, runner second, and combatant very close and reluctant third, focusing on support is a good option.

As a Battle Smith, we gain proficiencies with smith's tools, and we gain some more magic with Battle Smith Spells:

Heroism imbues the willing creature with bravery. Until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration), the target is immune to being frightened and gains Temporary Hit Points equal to our Intelligence modifier at the start of each of their turns (AKA every six seconds). When the spell ends, any Temporary Hit Points remaining are lost.

Shield creates an invisible barrier as a reaction to getting hit. It adds +5 to our AC until the start of our next turn.

Although a reluctant fighter, the Doctor as a Battle Smith also gets the Battle Ready feature. We gain proficiency with martial weapons, and when we attack with a magic weapon, we can use our Intelligence modifier instead of Strength or Dexterity for attack and damage rolls.

Finally, Battle Smiths get the Steel Defender. With our tinkering, we create our first companion, a steel defender; it is friendly to us and our companions and obeys our commands. With that, we got ourselves the one and only K9

Level 4 - Artificer: At this level, we get our first Ability Score Improvement! However, instead of upgrading our abilities this time, we'll grab a feat. The Telepathic feat from Tasha's Cauldron of Everything will represent the Doctor's limited psychic abilities: we increase one of our non-physical abilities by 1, let's go for Intelligence. We can speak telepathically to any creature within 60 feet, but the creature cannot reply (unless they're telepathic too, of course). Finally, we can touch a Detect Thoughts spell once per long rest, without a need to expend spell slots. Give your target a good headbutt, and learn their surface thoughts.

We also get our final spell: Catapult turns one inanimate object that isn't worn or carried (and weighs from 1 to 5 pounds) and turns it into a remote projectile. The object flies in a straight line for 90 feet before losing its momentum and falling. If it hits a creature, they have to make a Dexterity saving throw or take 3d8 bludgeoning damage. Distract your pursuers with a head of cabbage flying at their heads.

Level 5 - Rogue: We say goodbye to the Artificer, as we move onto Rogue for the rest of the build. Rogues use the same Hit Dice as Artificers, so nothing really changes when it comes to our Hit Points. We already have proficiency with light armour and thieves' tools, but we can pick one class skill – let's pick Acrobatics for better running and parkour chances when escaping aliens and responsibilities.

Rogues start with Expertise, which lets us double our proficiency bonus (NOT ability modifier) for two skills of our choice: let's boost Insight and History, to best utilize our centuries of living. We also learn how to speak Thieves' Cant, a special system of phrases and signals used by other Rogues to communicate without revealing their secrets. Finally, we have Sneak Attack: once per turn we can add 1d6 extra damage if a) we have an advantage on our roll, or b) the target is within 5 feet of another creature hostile towards it. The attack must be done by either a ranged weapon or one with the finesse property (like a dagger or a rapier).

Level 6 - Rogue: We get Cunning Action, which let us turn some Actions we can do in combat into Bonus Actions. That way, we still have an Action to spare if we decide to use Dash, Disengage, or Hide. Considering how much running the Doctor does, it's good to have something else to do just in case.

Level 7 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack changes to 2d6.

We also get to pick our second subclass, our Roguish Archetype. Now, initially, I considered going Swashbuckler, as it combines nimble footwork and gives us some charm abilities. However, since we're going with the build that emphasizes support and actual combat as a last resort, we'll go with Inquisitive.

We start this subclass with Ear for Deceit, whenever we roll Insight checks to determine if a creature is lying to us, we treat each roll of 7 or lower as 8.

We also get Eye for Detail. This is mostly to be used in combat (or if your DM runs dungeons in Initiative Mode), as it allows us to use Perception or Investigation checks as a bonus action, where it would normally take an action.

Finally, Inquisitive Rogues get Insightful Fighting. As a bonus action, we can make an Insight check, contested by the enemy's Deception check. If we succeed, for 1 minute we can use our Sneak Attack on the target even if we don't have an advantage or the target isn't near another of its enemies.

Level 8 - Rogue: Time for another ASI! Let's raise our Intelligence by 1 point, and use the spare one for Strength.

Level 9 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack changes to 3d6.

We also get Uncanny Dodge. Whenever we're being hit by an attack, we can use our reaction to halve the damage dealt.

Level 10 - Rogue: Halfway through the build, and we get another shot at Expertise. Once again, we get two skills to which we can double our proficiency bonus. Let's go with Perception and Investigation.

Level 11 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 4d6.

We also get one of the better abilities in the game, Evasion. If we're being targeted by an AoE attack that would deal half damage on a successful Dexterity saving throw, we take no damage if we make the save. What that means is, we can now take a Fireball face-on, shrug it off and loudly proclaim

Level 12 - Rogue: We get another ASI. Let's improve our Dexterity by two points this time.

Level 13 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 5d6.

We also get another subclass feature. Steady Eye gives us an advantage on Perception or Investigation checks if we move no more than half of our movement speed on our turn.

Level 14 - Rogue: Time for another ASI. Let's focus on getting some more Hit Points this time, and get +2 points to Constitution.

Level 15 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 6d6.

At this level, we get Reliable Talent, which upgrades our abilities to almost anime protagonist-level. Whenever we make a check for a skill we're proficient in, we treat all rolls of 9 and lower as 10.

Level 16 - Rogue: We're getting one more ASI. Let's raise our Dexterity again, putting 2 points in it.

Level 17 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 7d6.

We get our final subclass upgrade for this build, the Unerring Eye. We can now sense illusions and magical tricks within 30 feet, as well as shapechangers not in their original form. We can detect there is an effect trying to trick our senses around us, but we don't know its nature (i.e. if we meet a creature that activates our sense, we cannot distinguish whether it's a Disguise Self spell, or a natural shapeshifting ability, or a Druid's Wild Shape).

Level 18 - Rogue: We get another one of the best abilities in the game, Blindsense. We can now detect the presence of invisible and hidden creatures within 10 feet radius of us.

Level 19 - Rogue: Our Sneak Attack becomes 8d6.

Our mind becomes more slippery with Slippery Mind. We gain proficiency in Wisdom saving throws.

Level 20 - Rogue: Our build's capstone is Rogue 16, which is also our final ASI. Let's finally cap Intelligence, as it should've been from the start when it comes to Time Lords.

---

There it is. My take on how to play as the Doctor in Dungeons & Dragons. I believe I've covered most if not all of the important features the Doctor has, but let's see:

Let's face it, we're not a frontline fighter... we're not even a backline fighter. We support. With 14 AC (without armour), 151 Hit Points on average, and a +4 to Initiative, our job is to manoeuvre, around the battlefield and let our friends take care of the enemy, while we do other things. With Reliable Talent and Expertise we are great at sweeping the room for clues and hints, even if in the heat of battle. Thanks to Unerring Eye and Blindsense, our senses aren't that easy to fool.

Unfortunately, our Strength is not great, and that means some weapons are just a hindrance (unless we pick a finesse weapon, which replaces Strength with Dexterity). While we have late-game proficiency in Wisdom saving throws, throughout the earlier stages those might prove a little problem.

---

And that is it for this build. I hope that you guys enjoyed it, and I'll see you for the next one!

- Nerdy out!

[swarmkeepers]

happy happy sleepover saturday! (and thank you for blorbuffering, my new favorite word). If you could have any dnd cantrip for your own use in real life, what would you choose and why? <3

love a good pun <3 ooh i want prestidigitation! instantly cleaning things, lighting fires within 10 feet (i'm so bad at starting campfires. or not having to cross the room to blow out a candle), making little trinkets (never get stuck without a screwdriver/scissors/tiny miscellaneous tools), but most importantly? instantly heating up or flavoring things! mage hand or message could be fun but prestidigitation i think would be the best for everyday quality of life <3

[naturesgender]

oh my god this lunar interlude is so sweet :’))) here are my thoughts as i go (kind of, i listened to the magnus part while i was out so i couldn’t take notes then so i just kind of had to remember) under the cut! (now edited to include character work)

ooh magnus is gonna get stealthy!! and i got my wish about seeing more of carey!! she’s super cool i love her

wait are she and killian,,,,, oh my god power couple power couple power couple i fucking Knew It

carey being awful at carving ducks and accidentally making one with two asses is So Funny to me

wait how Did he get that scar?? now i’m curious

OH MY GOD HE MADE CAREY A RING FOR HER TO GIVE TO KILLIAN,,,,,,,, OH MY GOD,,,,,,,,,,, THE SEROTONIN IN THIS EPISODE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,HOLY SHIT,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

aw high five :’)))

ooh merle time!!!! ok what’s this funky lil lad gonna get up to

oh my god okay tree puns right off the bat. yep that’s merle

oooh hold on. the director?? and merle?? at a spa?????

i just remembered that she has a name aside from The Director i forgot what it was i’m gonna look it up

lucretia!! that’s right!!! nice name

oooh Personal Growth that is my jam

oh my god ok. he chose pan as his patron deity because. pan has a cool beard.

ok yknow what yeah. i can see them being friends. i can actually see them being really good friends. i can totally see it

“what’s this purple shit you’re drinking?” “grape juice.” “how old is it?” “125 years old.” “yeah well yknow there’s a name for grape juice that’s 120-something years old!” “that was what my jokes sound like.” “yeah, we’re gonna - we’re gonna work on that.”

:’)))

taako time babey!!!! taako from tv!!!!!!

but first i go and get a snack

ok i’m back it’s taako time

ANGUS IS GONNA LEARN MAGIC

also taako’s being nice!!!!! we love to see it

ok well kind of

angus is such a sweetie i adore him

BACKSTORYYYYYYY

aw he ate the macaroon all by himself :(( and there weren’t many presents under his candlenights bush :(( and it was the highlight of his holiday :((((( i would be giving this poor baby so many hugs if i were in this world

oh no wait,,,,,,,,, he killed a bunch of people?? or just. injured them???? it sound like he killed them oh no oh my god oh shit

he’s becoming a baby wizard!!!!!!! i’m so proud of him

oh shit. oh shit. he is threating this child. oh shit. taako what the fuck. taako sir what are you doing. taako he is a Child. taako what the fuck. taako. sir. stop it. stop it.

every time they say prestidigitation i think they’re being silly

oh???? oh????? scorching ray?? not prestidigitation??

oh shit the macaroons :((

oh shit???????? what the fuck??? why the wall???? a shape??? L??????

wait hold on. hold on i know where this is going

I WAS RIGHT

oh my god

ok yknow what. i bet. i bet she was the red robe he took the umbrastaff from. i am kind of hoping that’s not true bc that would mean he’s probably gonna have to fight her but based on what i have tried very hard not to see i think that might be right. i think she might be. the red robe he took the umbrastaff from when they went to the lost mine of phandalin

ok that was a Wonderful lunar interlude and i am gonna move on to the leveling up/fantasy gashapon/fantasy costco section now but oh my god. i think this is one of my favorite episodes

oops i posted this pre-emptively accidentally so i will come back and edit it when i’m done with the next section

i feel so bad for leon that’s pretty much all i have to say about fantasy gashapon

on the items they got:

i want that armor i rlly want that armor

zone of truth glasses!!

taako you fucking asshole

FANTASY COSTCO, WHERE ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE (GOT A DEAL FOR YOU!!!!)

i can’t decide whether i hate or love garfield the deals warlock. he definitely has some sort of sinister intent

ooooh multiclassing!!!

:)))) all my serotonin comes from this podcast (and my friends)

[gyakutengagotoku]

GS4 vs AJ:AA - Episode 3, Part 3

Lately, I’ve had a terrible time setting a posting schedule that keeps conflicting with my folks’ plans. I’m like the resident errand girl... Now, especially now, I understand the pain of Nick and his pupils when the court makes them do whatever because no one else wants to.

Anyhow, I’m back and back on schedule. No more mess-ups dragging me back to a previous post, no sirree! Oh, and again, don’t mind the extra entries I through in there just for sharing. I got at least one viewer who has yet to play through the English versions of these next games.

If only I knew how to be funny when I have nothing to say, though...

--

> Wright Anything Agency

<Trucy> なんていうか。ナゾが多いって、 ワクワクしますよね！　なんとなく。 It's another mystery, Apollo! I love mysteries.

<Apollo> オレはしないケドね。 I don't.

そういえば‥‥成歩堂さんは？ 意見を聞きたいんだけど。 Speaking of mysteries, what's Mr. Wright up to? I wouldn't mind asking his opinion.

<Trucy> あ。そういえば、パパ。 最近、見ないですよね。 Now that you mention it, I haven't seen Daddy around.

<Apollo> おとうさんを、 “のらネコ”みたいに言うなよ。 What, is he some kind of stray that just wanders in and out at will?

"Don't treat your dad like some 'stray cat'."

Ah, so he's a cat?

> Examine: photo

<Apollo> 古そうな写真に、みぬきちゃんが 尊敬する魔術師が写っている。 A faded photograph showing one of Trucy's favorite magicians.

みぬきちゃんは、毎日この写真に 向かって手をあわせているみたいだ。 She talks to it daily for good luck, I hear.

<Trucy> あ！ 今日の“お祈り”忘れてました！ Ack! I almost forgot!

えーと。 偉大な魔術師になれますよーに！ Umm... I hope I become a famous Grand Magician!

あと、ついでにオドロキさんが、 リッパな弁護士になれますように！ Oh, and I hope Apollo becomes an Ace Attorney!

‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ これで、よしっと。 ...There! All done.

<Apollo> （まあ。ご利益があるかどうかは、 　ナゾだよな‥‥） (I suppose if you're going to talk to inanimate objects, a photo isn't so bad.)

Aww, Trucy. Yeah, this is more of a custom you'd find in Japanese households and offices, since they're pretty big on praying to their family members beyond the grave or certain lucky Kami for good fortune and all that. 'Tis an Asian thing, really.

Odoroki: "(Eh. Who knows if it really works or not...)"

> Examine: silk hat

<Apollo> やっぱり。ボウシから、 色々なものを出すんでしょ？ That's one of those hats you pull things out of, right?

<Trucy> もちろん、やりますよ。 みぬきのボウシも小宇宙ですから！ Of course! My hat's like a little universe! Bigger on the inside than on the outside!

<Apollo> 小宇宙か‥‥なんだかスゴイね。 “ギャラクティカ！”ってカンジだ。 Hmm... That reminds me of a sci-fi show I used to watch.

Odoroki actually gives that sci-fi show by name: "Galactica!", which is most likely referring to Battlestar Galactica itself.

> Examine: spaghetti

<Apollo> ロウ細工じゃなくて、ホンモノの 料理を置いてるお店もあるよね。 I've seen some restaurants that set out real food to show what's on the menu.

<Trucy> そういうのって、 なぜか減ってることありません？ I have, too! But I noticed something strange...

喫茶店のサンドイッチの具だけが、 なくなってるの見たことあります！ One time, there was a sandwich without any lettuce!

あれはあれで、フシギです！ Like it had disappeared... by magic!

<Apollo> ‥‥ダレかが、 ツマミ食いしただけじゃないの。 ...I'm sure someone just swiped the lettuce and ate it.

<Trucy> あ！　あのサンドイッチ、 もしかして‥‥ Wait, that sandwich... You didn't...!

オドロキさん。いくらおナカが すいたからって、カラダ壊しますよ。 Apollo, you shouldn't eat sample food, no matter how hungry you are!

<Apollo> 食べないよ！ ヒトを“のら犬”みたいに言うなよ。 Just how hard up do you think I am!?

Last two lines: "Odoroki-san, if you're always keeping yourself hungry like that, you'll hurt your health." "I didn't eat it! Don't treat others like a 'stray dog'."

Ah, so he's a dog. Btw, yes, it is still a sandwich with lettuce from a coffee shop in the JP script.

> Examine: hula hoop

<Apollo> けっこうジャマなんだよな、それ。 You know, that ring kind of gets in the way.

この前も、依頼人が つまづいて転んでたし。 Our client the other day tripped on it and fell on the floor.

<Trucy> そのあと、外までころがった リングを探すのもタイヘンでしたね。 ...Sending my ring rolling out the door! You know how long it took me to find it?

<Apollo> 怒った依頼人をなだめる方が、 もっとタイヘンだったよ。 You know how long it took to calm down the client?

けっきょく、依頼もらえなかったし。 ‥‥少しは、片付けようよ。 And in the end, they walked out without hiring us. Could you clean up a bit?

Oh, I would pay a private eye good money to find who this client was based on, out of the staff who wrote the original script. Any ideas, guys?

> Talk: Yesterday's Trial

<Apollo> 今日の法廷で‥‥ラミロアさんは、 ハッキリ証言した。 Lamiroir dropped a bomb in court today...

《犯人は、ダイアンさんだ》って。 "It was Daryan"...

<Trucy> ラミロアさん。一度、聞いた声は ゼッタイ忘れないんでしょ？ Lamiroir said she's never forgotten a voice, right?

なんか、カッコイイですよねー。 That's so cool!

<Apollo> うん。まあね。 Um, I guess.

<Trucy> なんていうんでしたっけ、アレ。 What's that called again?

ええと。 “じごくみみ”っていう‥‥ Um... Elephant ears...? I bet that's what they're called...

<Apollo> ちょっとちがうぞ、それ。 ...Somehow I don't think that means what you think it means.

In JP, Minuki uses the word "jigoku mimi", which is a metaphor like "ears so sharp they could hear into hell itself", or so it sounds. It can refer to one of two kinds of people: 1) those with the special ability to remember something forever after hearing it once, or 2) incredibly nosy people who'd dig into others' secrets without permission.

Also, I just learned that "elephant ears" can be another name for taro.

> Talk: Interpol

<Apollo> 国際警察の捜査官‥‥かあ。 An Interpol agent... hmm.

<Trucy> で？　なんですか？ “こくさいけいさつ”って。 I was wondering, what is "Interpol" anyway?

<Apollo> え！　そ。そりゃ、アレだろ？ Huh? Interpol?

国際犯罪のハンニンを つかまえるんじゃないか。 They're the guys who catch international criminals.

<Trucy> なんでも“こくさい”をつけりゃ いいワケじゃないと思いますケド。 Why can't they just call them "International Police" instead of making up some silly name?

Minuki: "I don't think just throwing 'International' onto anything has an excuse, though."

Unfortunately, they don't have the rights to name themselves "Justice League of Nations" yet, so "Interpol" will have to do.

>

<Apollo> ‥‥やっぱり、アレかな。 ラミロアさんを調べていた、とか？ Yeah... ...Anyway, you think he was investigating Lamiroir?

<Trucy> えええ！　ナニ言ってるんですか！ Whaaaa--!? Why would anyone do that?

ラミロアさんが犯罪者なワケ、 ないじゃないですか！ She's not a criminal! She couldn't be!

<Apollo> いやいや。ヒトは見かけによらない、 って言うぞ。 Don't be fooled by appearances is all I'm saying.

<Trucy> コドモの純真な目はゴマかせない、 って言うじゃないですか！ But remember I'm a magician, Apollo! I can spot a palmed coin at fifty paces!

<Apollo> 自分で言うなよ。 If only it were that easy.

Last three lines: "Sorry, but like they say, 'You can't judge a book by its cover.'" "Don't you mean, 'You can't fool a kid's true-seeing eyes!'" "Don't make up your own saying."

(Fyi, I do sometimes hear this saying about how "kids aren't so easily fooled" in both English and Japanese, but I wanted to make a pun of my own.)

> Enter Valant

<Apollo> はあ。どうも‥‥ Ah, um, nice to meet you. Who... are you?

（ニヤニヤ笑いながら、 　言われてもなあ‥‥） (And could you please stop smirking like that?)

<Trucy> ああああッ！　あ。あ。あ。あ。あ。 あ‥‥あなたはッ！ Ah. Ahhhhhhh! It's you!!! Uncle Valant!

<Apollo> なんだよ。 やっぱり、トモダチか？ Uncle Valant...? He's your uncle!?

<Trucy> ナニ言ってるんですか！ No, silly!

或真敷（あるまじき）バランさん ですよ！ It's the Great Gramarye, Valant Gramarye!

あの。大魔術師のッ！ The Grand Magician!

<Valant> さよう‥‥テレビでおなじみ、 あの有名な或真敷　バランです。 Yes, it is I, the Great Valant Gramarye. As seen on television.

<Apollo> （ニヤニヤ笑いながら 　言われてもなあ‥‥） (And could you please stop smirking like that?)

Btw, it's only in English that Trucy calls him "Uncle". In JP, she simply calls him "Valant-san". Oh, and that "t" at the end is supposed to be silent.

>

<Apollo> あの‥‥ Um, I hate to intrude, but...

いったい、大魔術師さんが、 オレたちになんの用ですか？ What is a Great Magician doing paying us a visit?

<Valant> ‥‥おそらく。用があるのは、 あなたたちの方でしょう。 I believe it was you who wished to see me?

なんなりと、 聞いていただいてけっこう。 So, be quick with your questions!

このバランに乱反射する‥‥ And do not quail, quake, or quiver. I am quite tame.

ビッグスターのオーラを、 恐れることはありません。 Though my stardom may sear the sight... I'm quite down to earth when need calls.

<Apollo> （‥‥たしかに、あるイミ、 　恐るべきオーラがマブしいな） (He does have a certain aura to him, it's true.)

"(...Yeah, in a way, he does have an impressively shining aura.)"

> Talk: Troupe Gramarye

<Trucy> あの。もしかしてオドロキさん。 Wait, Apollo...

《或真敷一座》を知らない‥‥ なんてコトはないですよね？ Don't tell me you don't know about Troupe Gramarye?

<Apollo> あるまじき‥‥ なんていうか、その。 Troupe Grammarie... huh? No.

どこかで聞いたような気は するんだけどね‥‥ But it does sound kind of familiar...

<Valant> おお。まさに、 あるまじき青年というべきかな。 Oh, lost life! Lamentably listless lad!

今をトキめく大魔術集団を ご存じないとは。 To not know of the greatest troupe of magicians on the planet!

<Apollo> （或真敷　バラン‥‥ 　思い出してきた） (Valant Gramarye... The name began to surface in my mind.)

（たしか、オレが小さいころ、 　テレビによく出てたような‥‥） (It was a name I'd heard on television as a child.)

<Trucy> そうですよ！ You bet you've heard the name!

ゴウカ客船を消してみたり、 遊園地をバクハしてみたり、 He made a cruise ship disappear, and blew up an amusement park...

銀行の金庫から金塊を消してみたり、 あげくの果てに、 ...Oh, and he made all this gold disappear from a safe!

閉じこめられた刑務所から 脱走してみたり！ And then escaped from a high security prison!

<Apollo> ‥‥なんだか‥‥ Um...

大いなるゴカイを生みそうな プロフィールだな、それ。 ...You said he is a magician?

"That kind of profile could lead to some big misunderstandings."

(Ok, honestly I only kept this bit in because I love how colorful they made Valant's lines and they are worth sharing.)

> Talk: During the Show

<Apollo> あの‥‥もしかして。 So, I was wondering...

この歌の途中で起こっている “フシギ”は‥‥ That stunt in the middle of the song there...

<Trucy> フシギ‥‥？ I didn't see a stunt...

<Apollo> ラミロアさんが消えたり現れたり してるじゃないか！ What about Lamiroir vanishing and reappearing!?

<Trucy> あ。ああ‥‥見なれてるから、 フシギだって思いませんでした！ Oh, that? I guess I'm so used to seeing that happen I didn't even notice.

<Apollo> （さすが、魔術の子‥‥） (So young to be so jaded...)

"Oh, that... I'm so used to seeing it that it's no mystery to me!" "(As expected of a young magician...)"

>

<Valant> ‥‥さよう。 かの、ささやかなステージこそ。 A simple slight-of-hand, a petit prestidigitation.

この或真敷が仕掛けた魔術なのです。 A modicum of magic from me... to you.

<Trucy> やっぱり！　バランさんが、 コンサート会場にいたのは‥‥ So that's why you were at the concert!

<Valant> ご想像のとおり。 Yes.

このバランのトリックを 見届けるためだったのです。 I was there to watch my trick take to the air...

<Apollo> じゃあ‥‥ラミロアさんが消えた、 そのシカケ‥‥ご存じなんですか？ So you're the one who knows how it was all done.

<Valant> トーゼンでしょう！ 我こそ、ステージの神。 Of course. I am like a deity, with the stage as my domain!

ステージ上で起こるすべての フシギを操る‥‥ I suffer no mystery upon those floodlit boards not grasped tightly twixt my fingers.

そのフシギなチカラこそ 神たるゆえんなのですから。 It is a potent, primeval power I possess.

Someone give this man a medal for "Ascending the Astral Apex of Alliterative Ability" at once.

>

<Apollo> あ、あの！ よかったら‥‥そのシカケ。 Um... Well... Do you think you could...

教えていただけませんか！ ...tell me how it was done!?

<Trucy> おっと！ Hey now!

<Apollo> み。みぬきちゃん‥‥？ Trucy...?

<Trucy> 魔術師にシカケをたずねるのは ルール違反ですよ、オドロキさん。 That's like, totally against the rules, Apollo!

<Apollo> ナニ言ってるんだよ！ 殺人事件の捜査だぞ！ Not during a murder investigation, it's not!

<Valant> そういうワケにはまいりませぬ。 或真敷の秘術は、或真敷だけのもの。 Mais non, for my illusions are mine alone, m'sieur.

And he speaks French! ...Well, actually that's not so surprising. His name is very Frenchy in the first place.

Also, I just wanna mention how he's one of the few AA characters to use the '-nu' form of negation to some words. So far, I think only two others have used such colorful or cultural language, and that would be Luke Atmey and Victor Kudo.

> Present anything

<Valant> ほほう。この私に‥‥ただで、 キセキを要求するというのですか。 What's this? You would ask me for a miracle? Free of fee?

いいでしょう。その証拠品を、 消せばいいのですね？　永久に！ Then thy wish be granted! Thy will be done! Thy evidence evicted into the ether!

<Apollo> いやいや！　やめてください！ Ack! No evicting, please!

（‥‥魔術師って、 　こんなのばっかりなのか？） (...Are all magicians like this, I wonder?)

From my experience? Yeah, quite a lot of them like to make things disappear right from people's pockets. Usually they return them to people, though. I still remember that one lady who was still screaming after the show about the autograph she got from Penn & Teller after volunteering in an act...

Sorry, I feel nostalgic for the ol' Vegas days. Anyway, this is just another entry to share.

> Finish talking

<Valant> ‥‥それでは、みぬき嬢。 バランはこれにて失礼いたしますぞ。 ...I, Valant Gramarye, now make my leave, Miss Trucy.

<Trucy> バランさん！　もう少し、 ゆっくりしていってくださいよー。 There's no need to rush, Uncle Valant! You should stay a while!

<Valant> そうもまいりませぬ。 I am afraid I cannot. I may not. I shall not.

捜査に協力を求められているゆえ、 現場に戻らなければ。 I have been asked to assist with an analysis and so I shall slink back to the scene.

<Apollo> じゃあ‥‥今日は、 あのコンサート会場に？ So... you'll be at the concert venue today?

<Valant> さよう。このバランに話があったら、 あのコロシアムへどうぞ。 Correct. If you would call on me, come to the Coliseum!

ではッ！　いざ、さらばッ！ See you later, crocodile.

<Apollo> （サッソウとマントを 　ひるがえして‥‥） (With a whirl of his cloak, and a wink of his eye...)

（ドアからフツーに出ていったな） (...he turned and walked out through the door. Normally.)

...I don't know why "See you later, crocodile" irks me so much. It's either "See you later, alligator!" or "Been a while, crocodile!" Not both mixed up! This scene does remind me of the "dancingly descended through the front door" boys back in the day, though.

> Move: Detention Center

> Examine: camera

<Apollo> 監視カメラがこっちを見ている。 That security camera is looking at me.

カメラを向けられると、 ついポーズを取りたくなるな。 Why do I feel this sudden urge to make a silly face?

"Suddenly I feel like making a pose before that camera."

> Present: anything

<Machi> ＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠ ＠＠＠＠＠＠‥‥ ＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠ ＠＠＠＠＠＠‥‥

<Trucy> “コトバが分からず、話せないのが 　残念です。美しいお嬢さん‥‥” I think he said...

<Trucy> ‥‥ですって。 "I am sorry I cannot speak your language. You are very beautiful, fair maiden."

<Apollo> ‥‥勝手なホンヤクをするなよ。 ...This is why I never trust a translator.

Screw you, Apollo. I didn't make this blog to ask for your opinion. >:(

Anyway, it was just: "...Don't make up your own translation."

> Move: Sunshine Coliseum

> Examine: blimp

<Trucy> あ！　飛行船ですよ！ Look! A blimp!

<Apollo> となりには、 バルーンもあがってるね。 Those balloons next to it have ad banners on them.

<Trucy> えーと‥‥《大安の日セール・ 大安売り》ですって！ Let's see... "Big Sale, All Shirts 50% Off."

<Apollo> なんだ。となりのデパートの バルーンじゃないか‥‥ Oh. It's an ad for the department store next door.

It doesn't specify what kind of sale it is in the JP, so I guess it's officially a clothing shop sale. That said, it does say it's a "Lucky Day Sale - Huge Bargain Deals!" I'm not sure exactly how common it is among the Japanese to honor particular "auspicious" days of the year (though, they do have a lunar calendar for these kinds of events), but you'd definitely see these events affect the seasonal shopping cycles.

> Examine: coliseum

<Apollo> 《県立国際ひのまるコロシアム》か。 やたらとビッグな名前だね。 Sunshine Coliseum sure is living up to its name today.

<Trucy> おっきいですよねー。 It's huge!

こんな大舞台に立てるなんて‥‥ うー。牙琉さん、うらやましい！ And Mr. Gavin got to play on that enormous stage... I'm so jealous!

みぬきもいつか！ このコロシアムで、デビュー戦を！ Someday, I'll fight my first battle on this stage!

<Apollo> なんだよ。“戦”って。 Battle?

<Trucy> だって。なんか“コロシアム”って、 格闘技のイメージがありませんか？ Well, yeah, it's a coliseum, isn't it?

<Apollo> 語感が、“コロシアウ”に、 似てるからじゃないかな。 Um, they don't do gladiatorial contests at these places any more, Trucy.

<Trucy> そっか！　さすが、オドロキさん！ ナゾが解けました！ Really? I had no idea! I wonder why they stopped.

<Apollo> （そんなに、感心されると、 　訂正しづらいな‥‥） (Sometimes I worry about her.)

Last four lines: "Well, when I hear 'Colosseum', it makes me think of duels to the death, right?" "Maybe the nuance of the word comes from 'koroshiau'." [mutual killing] "Really? Nice, Odoroki-san! We solved the mystery!" "(With how much she's admiring me, it's hard to correct it...)"

> Examine: costumed mascot

<Apollo> なんだ？ あのイヨウな人物は‥‥ What's that... creature there?

<Trucy> わあ！　警察局のアイドル、 等身大「タイホくん」だ！ Oooh! That's the police mascot, the Blue Badger!

<Apollo> え！ あれが等身大なの？ Eh? It's life size!

<Trucy> 知らないんですか？　よく見ますよ。 夜の街をパトロールしてるところ。 Haven't you seen them around town? Patrolling the streets?

暮らしの“安心”を願う、正義の マスコットキャラクターなんです！ Yes, now even law and order has a mascot!

<Apollo> ‥‥それは、アクニンもゼンニンも まとめて逃げ出すだろうね。 ...I'd run from that thing even if I wasn't a criminal.

歩くたびにグラグラする アタマが“不安”なカンジだし。 Why does its head wobble like that when it walks? It's freaky.

<Trucy> オドロキさん！ モンクが多いですよ！ I don't think you're showing true Blue Badger spirit, Apollo.

It was just "Odoroki-san! You're complaining too much!"

To be honest, though, I kinda agree with him. I love the Badgers, all of them, but it didn't take AAI to make me question whether they'd be cute or creepy... At least the official Tokyo PD mascot Pipo-kun actually looks cute, kinda like a mouse or teddy in uniform.

...Manly Pipo scares me, plz make it go away.

> Move: In the Wings

> Examine: piano

<Trucy> おっきなピアノですよね！ みぬき。弾いたことないんですよね。 That's one big piano! I've never actually played one.

<Apollo> ふうん。 成歩堂さんに習えばいいのに。 Heh. You should get Mr. Wright to teach you sometime.

<Trucy> あー、ダメダメ。 パパ、弾けないから。 No good, he can't play either.

<Apollo> （これだけソンケイされてない 　パパもめずらしいな） (I kind of feel bad for the guy now...)

"(It's not too often that I'd find a dad who is respected this little.)"

> Examine: electronics

<Apollo> いろいろなキカイがある。 音響装置だろうか。 Look at all the electronics. They must be sound-related.

<Trucy> こういう機械を見ると、どうにも いじり倒したくなりますよね。 Doesn't seeing a bunch of machines like this make you want to just fiddle with 'em?

いじり倒していいですか？ オドロキさん！ Can I, Apollo? Please?

<Apollo> “いじる”だけじゃダメなのかよ。 やめとけよ。コワれるから。 No, no fiddling! You'll break something.

<Trucy> でも。コワれることをおそれてちゃ、 何もイジれませんよ！ If you're going to make an omelet, you gotta break some eggs!

パパがいつも、言ってます。 “カタチあるもの、みなコワれる” That's what Daddy always says.

<Apollo> ‥‥そこまで悟ってコワしても、 怒られるの、オレだからな。 These eggs look kind of expensive.

"But if you're always afraid to break things, you'll never get to fiddle with them! Daddy always says, 'Anything with form will eventually be broken.'" "...Even if you understand and still break it, I'm the one who'll be blamed."

> Examine: tower

<Trucy> このステージの塔の上に、 レタスさんとマキさんが‥‥ I still can't believe we found Machi and Mr. LeTouse up there...

<Apollo> アレはさすがに驚いたよ。 だから、高いところはキライなんだ。 Yeah. I used to not like high places. Now I hate them.

<Trucy> それ、高さはあんまり カンケイないと思いますけど。 It's not like it would have been nicer if we found a dead body closer to the ground.

‥‥そういえば。 パパもニガテですね。高いトコ。 ...Though that reminds me. Daddy's bad with heights, too.

<Apollo> へえ。そうなんだ。 Huh, no kidding.

<Trucy> こないだ。遊園地で カンランシャに乗ったんですよ。 He took me on a Ferris wheel ride a while ago, you know!

パパ、途中からカオが “もすぐりーん”になってました。 Halfway through, his face got all green and he mumbled "objection" over and over.

<Apollo> （‥‥成歩堂さん、かわいそうに） (...Poor guy.)

"Moss green", she says. Thank you, Minuki-chan, for that very detailed description.

> Examine: instrument case

<Apollo> 巨大な楽器のケースが置いてある。 Now that's a big instrument case.

<Trucy> それ、コントラバスっていう 楽器のケースですよ。 That's a case for a contrabass, I think.

<Apollo> ちょっとしたバイオリンなら ２０個は入りそうなイキオイだ。 You could fit twenty violins in there, I bet.

<Trucy> カタチは似てますけど、 ゼンゼンちがう楽器ですっ！ It may look like a violin, but it's a completely different instrument!

<Apollo> みぬきちゃんなら、５人は 入りそうなイキオイだ。 You could fit five Trucys in there, I bet.

<Trucy> もう！　ワザとやってるでしょ！ Hey! Are you comparing me to an instrument!?

みぬきとしては、あのビミョーな “半開き”が気になります。 Hmm. I wonder who left it sitting open like that.

Second to last line: "Hey! You're doing that on purpose, aren't you!?"

> Examine: ladder

<Apollo> 昨日、塔の上にのぼった ハシゴが置いてある。 That's the ladder we used to climb up the stage tower.

‥‥あれは、キョーレツな 体験だったな。 ...Not a moment I'm likely to forget any time soon.

<Trucy> うーん、たしかに。 アレは見モノでしたよね。 Me neither...

みぬき。《へっぴり腰》ってコトバ の意味、ハッキリわかりました！ I'll never be able to climb another tower again without thinking about it, you know?

<Apollo> ‥‥だから、ニガテなんだよ。 高いところはさ。 ...I'll never be able to climb a tower again, period.

Second to last line again: "I now understand what they mean by 'weak knees'!"

(Literally, it's "bent back", but has the meaning of that. Though, it definitely puts a smile on my face picturing moss-green Nick with his bent back again.)

> Talk: Valant Gramarye

<Valant> ‥‥あなたの考えていることは わかります。 I know what you are thinking in that head of yours.

『“或真敷”‥‥ああ。そういえば 　ムカシ、テレビで見たっけ』 "Gramarye, yes," you say. "I recall seeing him on television."

おおかた、そんなトコロでは ないでしょうかな？ Something of that sort?

<Apollo> え‥‥ええ。そのとおりです。 Um, actually, yes, you're right.

<Trucy> これがウワサの “読心術”かもしれませんよ！ Wow! He just read your mind, Apollo!

<Apollo> ‥‥ウソつけ。 ...Or everyone tells him that and he made a good guess.

"So this may be the rumored 'mind-reading technique'!" "...I'm not buying it."

> Talk: Magnifi Gramarye

<Valant> 天斎とザックの亡き、今。 私のねがいは、ただひとつ。 Now that Magnifi and Zak are gone, I have but one wish.

残されたこの私が、天斎の奇跡を ステージによみがえらせるッ！ Let it be I, Valant Gramarye who brings the Gramarye miracle back to the big stage!

<Trucy> みぬき。応援してますから！ I'm rooting for you!

<Valant> みぬき嬢。早く大きくなることです。 あなたのウデっぷしが必要なのだ。 Miss Trucy, you cannot grow up quick enough! I need your skill by my side!

<Trucy> はいッ！　このウデっぷしで！ One skill, coming up!

<Apollo> （やれやれ。ものすごいスピードで 　話が事件からそれていくな‥‥） (How do we manage to get off the topic of the case so quickly all the time?)

Interestingly, the "skill" he mentions refers to physical strength? Was he expecting Trucy to help him move some loads backstage or something? Well, times have been tough on the troupe, so I guess stage workers are short...

> Present: attorney's badge

<Valant> ほう‥‥それが、あなたが 弁護士たる“証”ですか。 Ah... The proof positive of your profession, yes?

<Apollo> ええ。そうです。 Um, yeah.

<Valant> ‥‥ふむ。少々、 拝借してよろしいかな？ Might I... have a look?

‥‥おや。 消えてしまいましたな。 Oh! What's this? It is gone!

<Apollo> うわわっ！　何するんですかッ！ Ack! What'd you do with my attorney's badge!?

<Valant> はっはっはっはっはっ。 あわてずともよいですぞ。 Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha. Don't be alarmed.

みぬき嬢！　その腰の トピットの中をごらんなさい。 Miss Trucy! Take a look into your topit, if you would.

<Trucy> きゃっ！　こんなところに オドロキさんのバッジが！ Eek! It's your badge, Apollo! What's it doing in there?

スゴいです、バランさん！ フシギですよねー。オドロキさん。 That was amazing! Wasn't it, Apollo?

<Apollo> （そんなコトより、みぬきちゃんの 　腰についてるポシェット‥‥） (He called that pouch at her waist a "topit"...?)

（“トピット”っていうんだ。 　‥‥魔術師用語か？） (Is that some kind of magician speak?)

So I had to search it up, and apparently a topit is a hidden sleeve or pocket that a magician uses to hide objects during an act. So it is indeed magician-speak. Normally, these topits are hidden in a jacket or outfit or somewhere and not out in the open like Trucy's pouch, though... If anything, her topit is stuffed with a certain Mr. Hat already.

> Move: Backstage Hallway

> Examine: Gavinners' dressing room door

<Apollo> こっちは、 《ガリューウエーブ》の楽屋だ。 That's the Gavinners's dressing room.

今、ガリューウエーブのメンバーは 捜査でいそがしいはず‥‥ They're all out on the investigation.

おそらく、誰もいないだろうな。 Being backstage isn't half as glamorous without a band here.

Funny seeing this coming from Apollo of all people. For reference: "There's probably no one in there."

> Examine: Lamiroir's dressing room door

<Apollo> ラミロアさんの楽屋‥‥ 事件現場のドアだ。 That's Lamiroir's dressing room... and the scene of the crime.

殺人事件の現場にしては、 警備がウスいよな‥‥ It's kind of lightly guarded for being a crime scene.

<Trucy> いいじゃないですか。 入りやすくて。 I'm not complaining! Makes it easier for us to go in!

それに、みぬきたち。 アカネさんも公認ですから。 And Ema gave us her OK, right?

堂々と入って、これでもかと ひっかきまわしても大丈夫ですよ！ We can wander in and do as we like!

<Apollo> （‥‥なんだか、アカネさんが 　心配になってきたぞ） (How is Ema doing, anyway...?)

（カリントウ食べすぎて 　虫歯にならなきゃいいけど） (I hope she's not getting cavities from eating all those chocolate Snackoos...)

"(...I get the feeling Akane-san is gonna worry.) (Ah well, as long as she doesn't get cavities from eating so much karintou.)"

> Finish talking

<Lamiroir> 連絡はそれを使っておりましたから。 ないと困るハズなのですが‥‥ We use it for communication. It would be quite inconvenient should it go missing.

<Apollo> わかりました。オレたちが 預かっておきますよ。 We'll hold on to it for you then.

牙琉検事に会ったら、 言っておきますから。 We'll give it to Prosecutor Gavin when we see him.

<Lamiroir> そうですね。 では、おねがいできますかしら。 Yes, that's best. Thank you.

<Trucy> あ！　じゃあ、ソレ。 みぬきがつけておきますね！ So, can I put it on?

< > 《ヘッドセット》を みぬきちゃんに取りつけた。 Headset attached to Trucy.

<Trucy> プラモデルみたいに 言わないでください！ "Attached"? I'm not some kind of robot, Apollo!

Or a plastic model, as per the JP.

> Move: Lamiroir's Dressing Room

< > ‥‥さくさくさくさく‥‥ ...MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH...

<Apollo> う‥‥‥ Uh oh...

このキョーレツなニクシミをこめて カリントウを噛み砕く音は‥‥ There's only one person I know who can munch with such... venom.

<Ema> ‥‥ナニしに来たのよ。 ...What are you doing here?

<Apollo> あいかわらず、フキゲンそうですね。 アカネさん。 Hello, Ema. You're looking as grumpy as ever.

<Ema> そりゃそうでしょ。 Oh, am I supposed to be happy?

法廷でアンタにやりこめられて、 牙琉検事にバカにされちゃうし。 You give me the second degree in court, and Prosecutor Gavin makes me look like a fool.

Heh, I like both the descriptions with "venom" and the "intense crunching noise" from the JP. Thinking about it, for someone to munch so loudly even with a closed mouth, that is a pretty impressive level of intense.

> Examine: crime scene

<Apollo> あれ。ここ、 カーペットが切り取られてるぞ。 Look, the carpet's been torn up here.

<Trucy> 今日の法廷で《のみとーる試薬》を ふりかけたトコですね！ That's the part we did the lunimol testing on in court!

<Ema> “ルミノール試薬”よ！ ノミを取ってどうするの！ "Loony mall"? What's "Loony mall"!? It's "Luminol"! Get it right!

<Trucy> ‥‥‥！ ...!

アカネさん、カガク捜査の コトになると、コワい‥‥ Ema's kind of scary when it comes to science.

<Apollo> ‥‥みぬきちゃんも、そろそろ キチンとおぼえようよ。 ...Best learn the word and not incite her wrath again.

Heh, she mistakes it as "Nomitol", and Akane-san snaps at her about "Why would I be catching fleas!?" since "nomi" is "flea" and "toru" is to "take" or "pick up".

> Examine: bullet holes

<Apollo> こんなに厚いカベが、 ぺっこりヘコんでいる。 Look at the way those bullets tore through this thick wall.

ホントに、オソロシイ威力の ピストルだったんだな。 That revolver really was something else.

<Trucy> マキさんみたいに小柄なヒトでも、 撃てるものなのかなあ。 I wonder if someone as little as me could even fire it?

<Apollo> 肩がハズれちゃうかもしれないね。 しばらくピアノなんか弾けないよ。 Dislocating your shoulder would kind of put a crimp on your stage career.

<Trucy> あ。じゃあ、ウチのパパの 肩コリも吹き飛ばしちゃうカモ！ Daddy always has stiff shoulders, maybe that could loosen him up!

<Apollo> やめてくれよ。ホントに 撃ちそうだぞ、あのヒト。 Don't even mention it. I'm afraid he might go out and actually try it.

<Trucy> たぶん、ないと思うけどなあ。 そんな度胸。 Nah, he doesn't have the guts to pull the trigger, I bet.

Haha, Odoroki's second to last line: "It might dislocate your shoulder. You wouldn't even be able to play piano."

> Examine: bowl

<Trucy> きゃあ！　フルーツですよ フルーツですよフルーツ！ Look! It's fruit! Fruit, Apollo! Fruit!!!

<Apollo> ‥‥１回多いよ。 ...I heard you the first time.

これだけあるのに、スイカを ひとクチかじっただけとは‥‥ It sure is a lot of fruit. I doubt anyone would miss a bit of watermelon...

<Trucy> メロンを瞬間移動させましょうか。 ‥‥みぬきのおなかに。 I know, I'll make it vanish! Into my stomach!

<Apollo> やめておこうよ。 ベンショウさせられるかもしれない。 Better not. They might make you pay for it.

そんなおカネがあったら、 事務所のカベを塗りなおそうよ。 And if you have the money for that, you should probably repaint the office first.

<Trucy> メロンって、そんなに 高いんですかっ！ Watermelons are that expensive!?

<Apollo> まあ、よく知らないけど。 *shrug* These could've been imported from some exotic locale, for all we know.

Nice shoutout to Japan's exotic fruit market. There are indeed such things as square watermelons and exquisite canteloupes that can go for as high as 10-15,000 yen per melon (~$95-143 these days).

Also, Minuki mentioned she'll have some of the canteloupe to herself, which is why Odoroki warned her about how expensive it'd be.

> Examine: bouquet

<Trucy> “ゴウカらんらん”な花が 飾ってありますね！ That's one heavy-duty bouquet there.

<Apollo> ワルいけど、“けんらん”だぞ。 I have trouble thinking of flowers as being "heavy-duty".

<Trucy> えー！　でも！“ゆうきりんりん” って言いません？ But they call lots of things heavy-duty!

<Apollo> それは言うけど。 Not flowers, they don't.

<Trucy> “るんるん気分”とか。 What about a "heavy" scent?

<Apollo> たしかにね。 I think you mean "heady".

<Trucy> 事務所のトナリのメガネ屋さんは “れんれん”だし。 What if the flowers were plastic?

<Apollo> お。苦しくなってきたな。 They still wouldn't be heavy.

<Trucy> “ろんろん”は‥‥‥‥‥‥ないや。 みぬきの負けですね！ OK, what if they were made out of metal?

<Apollo> じゃ、満を持して “けんらん”ってコトで。 What, like a magnolia made out of steel?

<Trucy> はいっ！ Exactly! Though I hope all my fans don't start throwing metal flowers at me.

Once again, we have a case of Japanese wordplay that couldn't make it through translation. Here it is:

"There's some 'gouka ranran' flowers here!" [splendid-fiery] "Sorry, but that should be 'kenran'." [gouka kenran = luxurious] "Huh? But don't they always say 'yuuki rinrin'?" [full of vigor] "That they do." "And 'runrun kibun' too." [exuberant mood] "That's right." "And even the glasses shopkeeper next to the office is 'renren'." [attached to /

fond of] "Oh, now you're starting to grasp at straws." "And for 'ronron'... I can't think of any. Well, I'm out!" "Then, you can accept that it's 'kenran'." "Okay!"

I respect the ref to Steel Magnolia, though.

> Examine: wigs

<Apollo> 美容院なんかで見かける、 パーマをかける機械だ。 That's one of those permanent dryers you see in hair salons.

<Trucy> そういえば、これ。正式な名前は なんていうんですか？ Is that what they're really called? "Permanent dryers"?

<Apollo> パーマをかけるキカイだから ‥‥《パーマ機》？ Do I look like a beautician? I just know they dry your hair and give you a permanent...

<Trucy> “機”だけニホンゴって カッコ悪いです！ It just doesn't sound very glamorous, you know?

<Apollo> じゃあ‥‥ちょっとコジャレて 《パーマシーン》‥‥？ OK, how about a "permachine"!?

<Trucy> シンプルに《パーマー》とか。 《ドライヤー》のノリで。 Or you could go more simple, like "permer"!

<Apollo> ‥‥けっこう遊べるね。 《正式な名前を考えよう》って。 ...This isn't a bad game, thinking up official names for things.

その時点で“正式”じゃないけど。 Not that it makes the name actually official or anything.

As it happens, it's not too far from the original script, even including a bit of Japanese wordplay: "It's one of those machines you'd see at a beauty salon that gives you a perm." "Say, what is the official name of those things?" "Well, it's a machine that gives you a perm, so... 'perma-ki'?" [kikai = machine] "It sounds weird just leaving that 'ki' in there!" "Then... to keep it trendy, how about 'permachine'?" "Or keep it simple like 'permer', kinda like 'dryer'." "...We sure can play around with thinking up official names for things. Not that it makes the name actually official or anything."

> Examine: presents

<Trucy> ラミロアさんへの プレゼントですね。 A stack of presents for Lamiroir.

さすが、大スターのプレゼントは どれも大きいですよねー。 Stars always get the biggest presents.

ね。ね。オドロキさん。 みぬきも受付中ですよ。プレゼント。 You know, you could give me a present, Apollo.

<Apollo> ‥‥じゃ、はい。アメ玉。 ...Here, have a piece of candy.

<Trucy> わあい！　ありがとう！ Gee! Thanks!!!

<Apollo> （喜んでくれたのに、なんで 　こう、ムネがいたむんだろう） (She must not get a lot of presents... Poor girl.)

(I'm happy for her and all, but why do I feel so bad?)"

I guess it can go two ways: he's sorry that she doesn't get many presents, or he's upset he had to give away some of his sweets.

> Talk: Yesterday's Trial

<Ema> とにかくね。あのちっちゃな子に ダマされてたと思うと、くやしくて。 It just bugs me to think that little kid outsmarted me.

<Ema> 目が見えたんなら、よけいに アヤシイんじゃない？　あの子。 And it makes him even more suspicious now that we know he can see!

天井の通気口も見えたワケだし、 ピストルも撃てたし。 He could have seen the air duct, and he could have shot that revolver.

<Trucy> でも‥‥ラミロアさん、 そうは証言していませんよ。 But that's not how it sounded in Lamiroir's testimony.

<Ema> ああ。現場で、ハンニン‥‥ 眉月刑事の声を聞いた、ってね。 You mean her saying she heard Detective Daryan's voice at the scene? Hmm...

<Trucy> そうですっ！ That's right!

<Ema> もう。なんでワケのわかんない 事件ばっか起こるのよ、この国は！ Why can't we have a normal, straightforward killing once in a while in this country!?

<Apollo> クニのせいに しないでくださいよ‥‥ I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

Ah, here's the legendary Ema quote! It's pretty similar to the original: "Ugh. Why is this country just full of cases that don't make sense at all!?" "Please don't blame the country, it's not at fault..."

> Talk: Song Lyrics

<Ema> ここまで一致していると‥‥ グーゼンとは思えないよね。 It is kind of hard to chalk it up to coincidence, hmm.

<Trucy> ですよねっ！ みぬきが見つけたんですけど。 I know! And I found it.

<Ema> これって、やっぱり。 ハンニンがやった‥‥のかなあ？ You think the same person did all of this?

<Apollo> オレに聞かないでくださいよ。 ハンニンじゃないし。 Don't ask me. I didn't do it.

<Ema> あたしだってちがうよ。 あの通気口、入れないし。 Neither did I! I couldn't fit through that air vent anyway.

<Trucy> ‥‥え！　みんな‥‥ みぬきを疑ってるんですかっ？ What... You all think I did it!?

<Apollo> （ダレも言ってない） (Sometimes I worry about that girl.)

"(No one said anything about you.)"

This here is some fine Among Us logic, yessiree.

> Talk: Something Odd

<Trucy> ‥‥あの。 ナニか見つけたんですか？ ...So what did you find?

<Ema> まあね。ちっちゃくて、きのうは 見落としていたんだけど‥‥ It's so little I must have passed over it yesterday.

あの、ソファの下に、 コイツがね‥‥ I found it under the sofa.

<Trucy> ‥‥なんですか。コレ。 ...What is it?

<Ema> 何かの機械の部品、みたいだけどね。 サッパリわからないの。 Part of some device, I think. I haven't a clue what.

ハジっこについてるキカイ、 見覚えがあるから調べてみたら‥‥ The bit sticking out from the end looked familiar, so I had it examined.

どうやら《アンテナ》みたい。 Turns out it's an antenna.

<Trucy> アンテナ‥‥ Ooh, like on a beetle?

<Ema> だから。電波に反応するのかな、 って思って。 Like on a cell phone. This device must use an electronic signal of some sort.

<Trucy> 電波、か。ココロ当たり あるような‥‥ないような。 An electronic signal, you say? Hmm...

Hm, I wonder if Trucy likes collecting beetles. Otherwise, I have no idea where that line came from.

> Finish talking, examine crime scene again

<Trucy> ‥‥ちょっと、 気になったんですけど。 You know what I couldn't stop thinking?

このカーペット、誰が ベンショウするんでしょうね。 Who's going to pay for this carpet?

<Apollo> オレたちじゃないコトは たしかだけど‥‥ As long as it's not us...

やっぱり。 ハンニン‥‥じゃないかな。 Maybe... the shooter?

<Trucy> うーん。それじゃあ、 悪いコトするときは‥‥ I guess it's true what they say.

ヒトにメイワクが かからないようにしないと。 Crime doesn't pay!

<Apollo> ‥‥ベツのルートから そこへたどり着きたかったね。 I would hope that carpet replacement costs weren't the only thing holding you back.

The last three lines: "Hmm. It's like, 'When you do something wrong... don't cause trouble for others too.'" "...I wished we could have come to that through a different way."

> Move: Sunshine Coliseum

> Meet Daryan, finish talking

<Daryan> どう思ってるんだよ。 ホントのトコロは。 What do you really think happened? Really?

‥‥オレがやった‥‥なんて 考えてないだろうなあ？ You don't think I did it, right?

<Apollo> そ。それは‥‥ W-Well...

<Daryan> なんか、たよりないからな、 おまえさん。おぼえておいてくれよ。 Great. Way to instill a guy with some confidence.

事件が起こった瞬間。オレは ステージで、暴れてたんだぜ。 Just remember, I was ripping it up on stage when it happened, OK? Ripping!

<Apollo> ‥‥‥！ ...!

<Daryan> あの“歌姫”とかいうおばさんの 言うことに、ダマされるなよ。 Don't get led astray by some siren song, eh?

さもないと‥‥ １年ぶんのハジをかくことになるぜ。 Get this one wrong, and you'll be eating humble pie for a year. I'll bake it myself.

<Trucy> なんか‥‥感じ悪いですね。 Let's... not talk to him anymore. Alright?

<Apollo> （眉月　大庵‥‥刑事、か‥‥） (Detective Daryan Crescend... He's one stone I'd leave unturned if I had a choice.)

Heh, nice. It was plainly "Don't be fooled by that 'songtress' lady", but made the perfect opportunity for a reference to siren songs. Ngl, I was half-expecting the JP script to run off of her Goddess title in some way...

> Move: Prosecutor Gavin's Office

< > ‥‥ピッ‥‥ ...*beep*...

<Klavier> やれやれ‥‥こんなときにこそ、 ダイアンが必要なんだけど。 It's times like this when I start to miss Daryan...

‥‥ん？ ...Huh?

<Apollo> あ‥‥どうも。 Erm, hiya!

<Trucy> えへ。 来ちゃいましたあ。 Tee hee! Just thought we'd drop in. Hope you're not mad...?

<Klavier> ‥‥“えへ”とこられちゃあ、 怒るワケにもいかないな。 ...How could I be? There's not enough "tee hee" in the world, in any case.

まあ、座りなよ。 Have a seat.

<Apollo> （意外にココロの広いオトコだな） (Prosecutor Gavin, the philanthropist.)

<Trucy> オドロキさんも見習うんですよ。 Watch and learn, Apollo!

"(He's a lot kinder than I thought, this guy.)"

> Examine: guitars

<Apollo> すごい数のギターですね。こんなに 持ってて、どうするんですか‥‥ Look at all the guitars! Why so many?

<Klavier> 何本あったって、困らないさ。 ギターは、ぼくの恋人だからね。 You can never have too many guitars. They are like... my lovers.

<Apollo> （なんだかハラの立つセリフだな） (I didn't just hear him say that.)

"(Feels like he's saying that just to rub it in my face.)"

>

<Trucy> オドロキさん、知らないんですか？ これは、予備のギターですよ。 They're backup guitars, Apollo. Don't you know anything?

“ろっくんろーる”は、ギターを 壊してナンボの世界ですから！ Rock 'n' rollers always smash their guitars at the end of a show!

<Apollo> どんな世界だよ‥‥ No wonder it's so hard to make it as a musician.

"What kind of wacky world do they live in..."

>

<Trucy> ほらほら！　オドロキさんも、 “ろっく”してみてくださいよ！ You know what, you should try rocking a little, Apollo.

<Apollo> ‥‥持ち主の目の前でそれは、 さすがにロックすぎるだろ。 And breaking his guitars while he watches? That might be a little too rocking.

<Klavier> はっはっは。でもね。 ぼくは、そーいうのはやらないんだ。 Ah ha ha ha. Of course, I would never do such a thing.

言っただろ？ ギターは、ぼくの恋人だって。 Did I not say, they are like my lovers?

ぼくが、恋人にそんなことをする オトコに見えるかい？ Do I seem like the kind of man who would do such a thing to ones he loves?

<Trucy> いいえ、まさか！　見えませんよ！ さすが、ガリューさんですね！ No, no! Not at all! I mean, you're Mr. Gavin, upstanding prosecutor!

<Apollo> （おいおい‥‥“ろっく”な 　世界はどうしたんだよ） (What happened to Prosecutor Gavin, god of rock?)

"No, no! Not at all! It's you we're talking about, Garyuu-san!" "(Hey... what happened to that world of 'rock' you were on about?)"

> Examine: window

<Klavier> どうだい？ すばらしい眺めだろう？ The view is exhilarating, ja?

いつも、ここで夜景を 楽しみながら、曲の構想を練るんだ。 I sit here, gazing down upon the city, writing my songs.

<Apollo> 検事の仕事をしましょうよ。 Try working on cases.

<Klavier> 曲を考えることと、 事件の推理をすること‥‥ It is the same thing.

ぼくにとっては、同じなんだよ。 I write lyrics the same way I corroborate evidence.

どちらも大切なのは、ロジックと 感性のハーモニーだからね。 It is a harmony between the logical mind, and the primal spirit within!

<Apollo> （言ってることはカッコイイけど、 　ごまかされている気がする‥‥） (Is it so hard to admit that you like staring out your window and daydreaming?)

"(He may have put it in a cool way, but I bet he's just trying to deflect...)"

Do prosecutors have a habit of just staring out their windows for some reason? I know that frilly guy does it because he's got a bit of time at this time.

> Talk: The Case

<Klavier> ああ‥‥そうだ。 今日の新聞を見たかな？ Ah, that reminds me, did you see the paper today?

<Trucy> はい！ Yes!

テレビのページだけはみぬき、 毎朝チェックしてるんですよ！ I always read the TV section.

<Klavier> それはエラいね。 おデコくん、キミは？ Good girl. How about you, Herr Forehead?

<Apollo> オレも、４コマまんがは チェックしてますけど。 ...I read the funnies.

Ah, something we can agree on, Apollo. Then again, with how Odoroki mentions the 4koma, I can't help but picture those on Gyakuten Tsuushin and now the joke is super meta.

>

<Klavier> ‥‥コイツを見たまえ。 ...Then you will not have seen this!

<Apollo> 《悪魔のしらべが惨劇をもたらす！ 　～二枚目検事のキケンな歌声》 "Concert of Tragedy -- The Prosecutor's Deadly Song!"

<Trucy> え。今夜、そんなドラマ、 ありましたっけ？ Ooh, is that a new show? I haven't heard about that one.

<Klavier> ドラマじゃないよ。 れっきとした、記事の見出しさ。 It's not a show. It's an article. News, you know?

<Trucy> あ‥‥もしかして。 みぬきたちの‥‥ Oh, does this have anything to do with the case...?

<Klavier> 法廷から帰ってから、 ぼくの電話は鳴りっぱなしだよ。 Since getting back from the trial, my phone has been ringing off the hook!

Second to last: "Oh... so it's about us...?"

> Finish talking, get the replica

> (optional) Move: W.A.A., present replica

<Trucy> レタスさんは‥‥ コレを調べていたんですね。 So this is what Mr. LeTouse was after...

<Apollo> うん。国際警察がコレを 追いかけていた、ってことだろうね。 It's international smuggling. That's why Interpol was involved.

（今回の事件とどう関わるのかは、 　まだイマイチ分からないけど） (I'm still not sure how this ties into our case, though.)

<Trucy> ちっちゃいのに、 すごいんですね、コレ！ Wow, how could such a little thing be so important!

<Apollo> たしかに‥‥ まるで、みぬきちゃんみたいだね。 In that way, it's a bit like you, Trucy.

<Trucy> ！‥‥‥‥‥‥‥ オドロキさん！ ...Apollo!

みぬきは、ちっちゃいんじゃなくて、 まだ若いだけです！ I'm not small! I mean, I am, but I'm still growing!

<Apollo> （‥‥一応、 　ほめたつもりだったんだけどな） (It was intended as a compliment.)

<Trucy> オドロキさんこそ、前髪で 身長かせいでるじゃないですか！ Well you cheat your height by sticking your hair up like that!

<Apollo> （こ、これは別に、そういうんじゃ 　ないんだけど‥‥） (Hey, it's called fashion.)

"(H-hey, I just like it this way. I didn't mean it like that...)"

> Move: Sunshine Coliseum, In the Wings, then Hickfield Clinic

> Move: Detention Center, present replica

> Talk: The Cocoon

<Trucy> この“マユ”‥‥ いったい、なんなんですか？ What is this cocoon, anyway?

<Machi> ＠＠＠＠＠＠‥‥ ＠＠＠＠＠＠‥‥

<Lamiroir> 『マユ、糸‥‥特効薬』 "The cocoon, the silk, is a potent cure."

<Trucy> とっこうやく‥‥？ A cure...?

<Apollo> 何かの病気に効く、ってコトかな。 It must cure some disease.

<Machi> ＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠‥‥ ＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠＠‥‥

<Lamiroir> 『《チリョーレス症候群》‥‥』 という病気に効くみたいですわ。 It's a cure for "Incuritis".

<Apollo> チリョーレス‥‥ A cure for Incuritis?

Ughhh, it literally is just "Chiryoles" (chiryou + less = cure-less), aka "Incuritis". And here I was expecting it was just the loc team having a brainfart once in a while.