#preparing for the best i guess

[awakefor48hours]

Update: they’re now @dailyanimeships (I'm blocked so no tag there :/) but it's the same person. Update 2: they’re blocked again. Let’s celebrate

Hello everyone, I need your help getting rid of someone that's been harassing people (myself included).

This is the person in question and I need your help to get rid of them and stopping any future harassment.

Even if you're not in the Black Clover fandom, I would appreciate a moment for your time to read this. For a bit of context, if you haven't seen Black Clover, the main ship in the show is Astelle (Asta x Noelle). In the show, Noelle has a massive crush on Asta (think Amity to Luz/Marinette to Adrien/Hinata to Naruto/etc, etc). It's pretty clear that Astelle will be canon but sometimes canon doesn't matter and people ship different things. Now onto this whole shit show.

Harassing in DMs

To start off, they're basically every shade of bigot. My moots and I have gotten really nasty DMs from dailyasnoel and I'm going to censor them because there's pretty bad slurs in them.

The first one was sent to me and the second one was sent to @the-geek-librarian

We're both in a server and everyone in this server (nearly 15 of us) have been blocked. Keep in mind, not a single one of us had ever interacted with them in our lives. We've all tagged our posts properly and haven't said a single negative thing about Astelle or their blog. They went out of their way to send us these DMs with very hateful slurs all because we don't want the same fictional teenagers kissing.

Harassing others

This isn't even the first time that dailyasnoel has gone after people simply for just shipping Noelle with another character. These two, ramiliadoesstuff and kcuf-ad have also posted about been harassed.

Along with that, there is now a ship week for Kahonoelle (a femslash ship involving Noelle) being run by moot @t-f-t (Alex) and this was the response to the original post (a post that was tagged properly and no malice towards anyone) announcing this.

This could've just been the end of it but they felt the need to send an ask to Alex expressing their disgust because there's people who don't want the same fictional teenagers kissing.

Then there's this lovely comment on that post.

Guess who's going to be extremely annoying during Kahonoelle week. (BTW, wouldn't it be really funny if we got them off the internet before their shit ass Astelle week).

Fanfiction

This harassment isn't just on tumblr either, it's on AO3 too.

I scrolled through the Yunoelle (Yuno x Noelle) tag on AO3 and the comments on some of these fanfictions are so vile. There's so many hate comments and I didn't even screenshot all of them because there's so many of them.

I found comments left by people with the username "dailyasnoel" and other guest users with different usernames that make similar comments to dailyasnoel because I assume it's the same person.

Making the Devils Cry

Yuno and Noelle Oneshots

When the Sea Goddess Snaps

Hot Tub Accident

While scrolling the Yunoelle tag, I noticed that there's people who have started limited their comment section, have deleted comments with responses like "dude, calm down," or have made their fanfictions private.

And even as a little side note, I want to make it clear that I was able to look at every single Yunoelle fanfiction on AO3 because it's not even a popular ship. There's only 31 fanfictions for them so a lot of these fanfictions are written by the same authors. On the other hand, Astelle has been consistently the most popular ship in the fandom and even has the most fanfictions. So it's not even like Astelle fans are hurting for fanfictions or that Yunoelle fans are invading their spaces.

The actual blog

The icing on this queerphobic, harassing, racist cake is that they're an art thief. Their blog only has art and all of it is from other people. There's no indication these are reposts, there's no signs that they got permission to repost these, nor any links to the original posters. (original art links > 1/2/3)

If you know nothing about Black Clover or the fandom, I want to make this abundantly clear, this is behavior is unacceptable. This fandom has been very peaceful as of late and this one person does not speak for Astelle fans in the slightest. The Astelle fans I've interacted with are quite lovely, and if Asta or Noelle or Tabata (the creator) saw this, they'd be disgusted.

Whether or not you're in the Black Clover fandom is irrelevant. This is a horrible person and art thief, please report and block this person. Together, we can get rid of this person.

@dailyasnoel I know you have me blocked but if you happen to read this, I want you to know that if this small part of you that you show on the internet is even a modicum similar to how you behave in real life (joking or not), you are going to live a very sad and lonely life.

I hope you enjoy your own company because no one will want to be your friend, no one will support you, and above all else, no one will mourn you. Your absence will be treated with nothing but joy and whimsy because you are a sad and pathetic parasitic monster.

[nichiperi]

happy birthday to meeee~ ヘ⁠(⁠￣⁠ω⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠)

[pardonmydelays]

and what if i tell you that i found a fucking proshot of dave malloy's preludes? what then?

[punctuation-completionist]

might not be responding to things as much over the weekend, i'm just saying this now so no one thinks i am sulking about some people are being weirdos. i just am in cram time because i have a lot of writing things i need to do & a lot of books to read. anyways. the queue will still run i'm just saying. if you send an ask i probably won't get to it immediately

[mattiebearr]

I am simply doing what God couldn’t or rather wouldn’t. Be the change you want to see.

[giantkillerjack]

My first time watching Glass Onion it was obvious that Miles' speeches were bullshit, but I still searched for any hidden meaning there might be.

The second time is a different experience though because every time my brain starts to search for meaning, I feel like Benoit Blanc discovering that no, there is absolutely no hidden meaning.

It's bullshit it's all nothing nothing nothing! It is just how you end up talking when everyone reacts to your self-aggrandizing word vomit like it is actually wisdom.

Also, legit, when Miles gave his stupid bullshit speech about what the word 'disruptor' means to him, I shit you not I was like holy shit am I back in business school right now?!

Miles must have given speeches like that at 100 business school graduations, goddamn.

Like, the motherfuckers really do sound like this. We didn't have any billionaires come, but we had a lot of millionaire guest speakers in my classes, and they fucking talk like that.

They all think they're rugged capitalists, but they're just glass onions!

[becauseimanicequeen]

For the Love of Safe Sex (pt. 31)

[florida3exclamationpoints]

.

[wall-e-gorl]

snoozzzing

[kyluxtrashpit]

Another old cat health ramble. Just cause sometimes I need to write things out

She’s still doing surprisingly well considering how increasingly unsettling she looks (if you follow me on twitter and open the sensitive content warnings, you know what she looks like - it’s spooky. I don’t post pics here cause there’s no real easy way to censor so it’s an opt in if you want to see her current state or not). And I think the cancer has definitely spread to her inner ear, as her balance problems are getting worse. She wobbled so bad she just about did a somersault yesterday when licking the hairball goo I give them every night off her front leg. Sometimes she rubs the area and it’s not great but it’s still manageable and it seems more like it just feels uncomfy sometimes (which I try to alleviate with the lubricant, but she doesn’t love that either so. Delicate balance)

But despite all that, she’s still so full of life and seemingly pain free. She still plays, eats, snuggles - if you covered up the affected part of her face and chocked the occasional wobble up to her being old or something, you’d never know there was anything wrong with her. She’s still so happy and tbh it. Doesn’t really make sense that she’s doing so well

Like I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth here but. It is strange. I expected her to be worse by now and I figured her even living to see october was a 50/50 shot. I had been hoping she’d last until this weekend, as it’s a long weekend, and unless anything goes downhill super quickly (which is absolutely possible), she’s going to sail right through without an issue. November? I don’t think it’ll happen based on the historical rate of growth from month to month but. She’s also really barely declined. The tumour is notably bigger and her balance is off but. That’s it

Idk I should be happy she’s doing so well but I can’t help but like. Feel on edge about it. Like whatever’s going to happen is going to be a really quick decline. She could pass suddenly in her sleep at any time too, or her heart could just stop or a blot clot or so many other things that would be sudden and instant. And while a long, slow deterioration is it’s own hell, so is a quick one that you don’t have the chance to prepare for. There’s no good way for it to happen but. Idk. It just makes me nervous that she’s still doing so well even though I know I should be grateful and cherishing it

Idk. There’s no real point here, it’s mostly a ramble. I feel like I’ve been preparing for it to happen any day for months, have been already mourning her for all this time. But she’s still kicking and is basically the same as she always is. And I’m happy for that, I truly truly am, but idk, I can’t help but think it’s a sign that when the time does come, there will be little to no warning. And while it sucks no matter how it happens, idk, I just can’t help being on edge about that because it still sucks, but there is at least some comfort in having at least some warning

[running-in-the-dark]

oops I have to get ready for my appointment in 🤔 5 hours. and I still have to watch 3 episodes of The Librarians (can't go to bed before that, would be too anxious to sleep) 😬 ah, well, who needs sleep anyway

[kyouka-supremacy]

im so sorry it wasn't a good day:( sending you a big hug!!!

It's alright, there will be better ones ( •‌ᴗ•‌)ง Thank you for your concern Anon, I can't express how much little messages like this warm my heart and are able to instantly improve my mood!!! Stay wonderful (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

[sadhorsegirl]

need it on the official record that i do love moiraine and lan's relationship sososo much!!!

i love the implicit understanding they have with each other, based partially in the fact that they are both heirs separated from a crown for very different reasons. moiraine and lan are both people who cannot go back to where they came from, whether they want to or not. so there is this shared sense of loneliness, and drift that they share, wrapped up in the idea that they probably aren't going to survive the last battle (or even the journey to it) and would rather sacrifice themselves than have anyone they care for or, in moiraine's case for some people deem more necessary to The Pattern (although to be fair to her, this often still means having a certain level of care for them she just um. wasn't raised to know how to show any healthy positive emotion i don't think) moving in companionable silence eternally Searching™

i've grown increasingly haunted by this exchange they have at the end of new spring:

like............"surrender after you are dead. yes." is the sentiment set up as one of the core values of their partnership starting from the very moment she decides to ask lan to be her warder. surely, this will end well for all parties and will NOT have any tragic implications!

it sets up this really harsh poetic symmetry (surprise) when they have their Big Fight™ in the great hunt. moiraine LITERALLY invokes how they first met with funny little jokes abt him throwing her in a pond to get his defenses down so she can jump scare him w an intense re-examination of their relationship. the whole fight is basically her forcing him to think on his toes so she can examine him at his most basic emotional level in order to try and expose the truth abt how he feels, going from playful to painful at the flip of a coin lol. and he's aware of it!!! him calling her out on it and her answering back w patented Aes Sedai Speak, in a relationship that should be free of such manipulation.....

the real master stroke here, though, is the fact that the chapter is from moiraine's pov. we get to see her own inner thoughts about it and see that beneath the devastating chess game she's playing she's just as heartbroken at having to play it. the argument is really a crystalization of what makes her such an interesting character for me -- she is leveraging absolutely brutal social dynamics in order to, from her perspective, HELP someone she cares for deeply.

essentially, moiraine is saying that in his love for nynaeve he's found something to live for beyond sacrifice and that means that their bond to each other must be terminated. he can create a new life, and bc she thinks she understands how everything will play out moiraine thinks she is just cutting down the time before he realizes he can and will ask for her to dissolve the bond anyway. he isn't wed to death anymore, leaving the heavy implication that moiraine still is.

which sets us up for something really interesting for them in s2 i think! while their relationship in the show seems to generally be under less strain than it is where we see them in the mainline series, there remains another crucial difference btw the books and the show -- moiraine has siuan!!!!! im rly excited to see how that comes into play in terms of any potential interpretation of this fight/the breakdown of lan and moiraine's relationship bc it makes her decision to push him away feel even more hypocritical and rooted in her tendency to be self-sacrificing to the point of self loathing.

tldr for anyone just trying to figure out what this might all mean for season two according to one singular poster on tumblr dot com: in the books moiraine feels very........time to burn all bridges so no one can chase after me on my suicide mission basically and i can't say im NOT excited to see if that's where she ends up in the show (to live is to suffer etc etc)

[didiwaffles]

good lore, good lore.. i absolutely adore multiverses and immortals having arguments that last millions of years! this is so awesome

now that i know who devi is, i want to circle back and ask a bit more about eva

what were her lives before rebirth? how was she even made? what powers did she have?

thanks you for answering my silly questions about your characters 🙏

- void anon

It's such a pleasure to me I can do it all day if you let me

Actually, we do not need to circle back for that, we can just move forward from where I stopped the last time. Before we move on to Eva, I need to establish a few things that led to her birth.

There's a few things that happened in about a few hundred thousands to a million of years between the moment the Monster was sealed and when Devi left Afiar.

As I mentioned, she created 5 Elemental Spirits who went on to restore the world.

Amenir - the Spirit of Air - created a flying castle made of air for Devi.

Devi resqued Emi - a girl who lost everyone she ever knew as well as everyone of her race to the Monster's awakening.

Next few hundred years Emi spent in a hybernation, after which she went on to restore her kind and with time created an army of soldiers devoted to serving Devi. (Not like Devi was a huge fan of that at first, but she let Emi and the others do whatever they wanted.)

Devi made continuous efforts to change Darinir's mind about herself, but it was in vain.

Whenever she could, she spent her time helping people in need, protecting the weak, and fighting off anyone who posed a threat.

The rest of the time she spent on her own, with time creating two other Spirits - Rudy (the Spirit of Time - or rather a tiny fluffy fox squirrel) and Nirali (the Spirit of Art and everything that falls under the category of talent and inspiration) to keep her company. They will become the closest to her, and will remain by her side even when she will have many other friends in the future.

With time, Devi became quite bored of this routine. So she thought of something fun to do. Since she didn't remember ever having a childhood, she wanted to experience that for herself. She didn't consult anyone on that - not her mother, not her enemies, not her children. She just put Emi before the fact - she was going to be reborn as a human child in some other world. She took Nirali with her, merging their souls together so she'd always be by Devi's side, while left Rudy behind. It wasn't meant to take long. After all she intended to come back once she was 20 or something.

Thousands of years passed. She never returned. Everyone looked for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Obviously something went wrong.

In the preparation to be reborn, Devi left her body and her soul traveled around the universe, in search of a good place to reborn in. Now, remember I mentioned that a piece of Afiar that flew out when the Monster awakened would form into a separate world that would go on to create an anomaly zone? Devi accidentally flew by and got caught up in it. It did quite a few things.

First, it suppressed her power. She was no longer in control of what was happening.

Then, when she was trying to fight it, her mind fractured and split her personality into 3 parts. One was the "Devi of Light" (I'm using such a wording intentionally, she's not the "good" and the other one is not the "bad" Devi, that matters), Rodari, who inherited Devi's wings, which became white with her. The other one was the "Devi of Darkness", Diano, who took the crack from Devi's eye. The third one was Devi herself, what was left of her.

As the result, she lost her memories once again.

As she was reborn, luckily to Devi, everyone inside of her - Diano, Rodari, the Monster, and even Nirali - were put into slumber. Nirali would wake up rather quickly though, but would realize she's trapped inside of Devi's mind, who didn't remember anything and was just like an actual human child.

As Devi grew up, she would often end up creating fantasies in her head. Between toxic family relationships, having no friends, and stressful school stuff, it was her only gateway. There was only one problem. The anomaly did drain all the magic it came in contact with, but what it also did was it made the fantasy of people inside the world affect the rest of the universe. Characters from the books were coming alive in a newly born world somewhere far away, far from the reach of its creator. But that was even more true for Devi. Because even though she lost her memory, she didn't lose her power, and even though it was constantly drained, that wasn't enough to rid of it completely. And the fact that Devi didn't know it existed didn't mean she wasn't using it unconsciously. So, unbeknownst to her, her fantasies were affecting the entire universe. Everything she were thinking about was coming true outside the anomaly. And not only did she affect the future, she also affected the past. She created the fates of people... who she already met. But she didn't remember them. I'm talking about Ula and Lana. She crafted a story of their lives... that she already knew. Just didn't remember. But those two weren't the only ones. There were 7 people she affected directly, and many more - indirectly. One of those 7 was Riam.

I already went on a big enough of a tangent, so I will skip laying out Devi and Riam's relationship. What matters is Devi heavily influenced his very existence, but some stuff remain hidden even from her. Eventually, she got caught up in her own fantasies so badly, that she completely fell in love with her own mind's creation - that is to say, Riam. So one evening when she was especially lonely, she unconsciously completely overpowered the anomaly and just teleported Riam to herself.

Again I will not go into the details of their relationships now, what matters is they fell in love, and after figuring out that finding out how to get out of the world they both ended in might take a bit, they eventually married. And during their honeymoon, Devi got pregnant.

That's how Eva was born.

Now, I will shift to her story.

When Eva was born, Nirali - who was practically her older sister - planted a kiss on her forehead. Being the Spirit, what that did was it blessed Eva with extraordinary talent. Combined with her father's genes, Eva developed extremely quickly. By one year old she could already read with no problems, and by three she could solve simple math problems. When she went to school, she was far ahead of her peers, and what ended up happening is that she would be let to do whatever she wanted in class, as long as she aced all her tests. And of course she did. Devi also made sure Eva had several tutors who would teach her in accordance to her level of development. Once Eva was a bit older, she agreed that it was better than shoving her in the higher grades with more grown up kids or depriving her of socialization by tutoring her at home. As for changing schools into a more advanced one, Devi debated doing that... But there was one slight problem with that.

When Eva was 6, she got two twin little brothers.

As they were growing up, they looked and acted absolutely identical to each other. Even their own parents couldn't tell them apart when they were in matching closes. For some reason, Eva was the only one who could always tell them apart. Consequentially, she was the only one that could put a stop on their twin antics.

But fast forward to the time Eva would go on to graduate. Even though no one doubted her ability to ace the final exam, that was still pretty stressful, and the stress only multiplied with what was happening at home.

After almost 20 years of searching and trying everything she could even think of, Devi finally was able to create a portal out of the world they were in. Funnily enough, it came to her in a dream. She tried her best to replicate it, but she must've messed it up in several places because the portal barely opened. But that was enough for something to grab Riam and shove him inside, after which it closed immediately. At first Devi was incredibly happy. She tried to achieve that for so long! But slowly her happiness faded as she came to the realization, "...But what about me..?"

Devi quickly spiraled down into a deep depression, and Eva had to choose between staying by her side to help her through it and preparing for her own exams, while also taking care of her brothers. But she managed through it and successfully passed her final exam. And when she came back to share the news...

Devi's pain was so unbearable that she unconsciously tore through the fabric of reality, completely overpowering the anomaly, and creating a portal. But when the answer was right before her, she hesitated. She couldn't just go in and leave her children behind. At the same time, they had their own lives and aspirations, Eva was almost an adult, with Paul and Pete already being teens. Forcing them down the path she wanted to go didn't feel right either. But they still needed to be taken care of, she couldn't just abandon them. But she couldn't stay either, not when she had that chance, she would go on to regret it for the rest of her life.

That's where Eva found her when she returned home. And she didn't need any words to understand what was going on. Then, she encouraged Devi to leave them and go, promising that she'll take care of the boys, and when they will be ready, they will somehow find a way to find her. She didn't really think that far ahead, she just knew that if her mom stayed, she'd be deeply unhappy. Devi didn't have time to think for too long, and just before the portal closed, she went into it.

But the task that Eva assumed upon herself was not an easy one. By then, the twins who used to be indistinguishable started showing signs of separating into two completely different people, and losing both of their parents made them develop completely different personalities.

Much like Eva, Paul understood mother's decision. He trusted both Devi and Eva with their decisions. But Pete... He didn't take it well at all. He was angry. Angry that his parents abandoned him, and he vented his frustration on none other than Eva. He criticized her cooking, comparing to how Devi used to do it, he criticized her for not having a job, despite them not having problems with money, criticized her for not cleaning the house. Eva understood his frustration so she didn't stop him, but Paul wasn't taking that, and the two of them were constantly fighting over everything now. But Paul understood that Eva also wasn't all that happy that Devi left, and with the university she just got in on top of that, the last thing she needed was chores and quarrels at home. He tried to do everything he could, but Pete was just making everything more difficult than it needed to be.

That went on until both boys hit 15. By then, both of them knew what they wanted to do in life. Pete has decided to be a professional musician, and as soon as he could, he left to study in the music college, making sure he let it be known that he doesn't want anything to do with his family anymore. By that time Eva went on to study for her future master's degree in chemistry. As for Paul, he had an obsession of his own. All he wanted was to protect Eva. So he went on his own path, going to the military academy.

Now that I laid out the kinda dynamic the three have and what they've been doing with their lives, I'll quickly go through the rest that happened there.

Eva graduated with the master's degree in chemistry, and went on to own her own lab where she started working on finding something that could create a portal so they could reunite with their parents.

Paul graduated the college and went on to serve in the military.

After that he went on to the military university and studied there in the air force department.

Sometimes they would do street patrols, and in one of such days Paul happened to pass by Eva's lab. He immediately noticed something was wrong. By a pure coincidence, exactly at the time he was passing through there, something went array in the lab, and just a moment after Paul thought something was off, there was a massive explosion. Eva was inside.

By an order of their captain, cadets helped evacuate people, but Paul was concerned since he couldn't find Eva. Eventually the fire got too strong, and Paul disobeyed orders completely and went inside.

Eva made sure everyone was evacuated, but by that time she inhaled too much toxins and passed out in the fire. Paul got to her in time to grab her and jump out of the window before there was another massive explosion that would've killed them both.

They both were sent to ER. Paul suffered from mild intoxication, light burns, and he also sprained his ankle when landing. Eva suffered much more heavily. She fell into a coma.

For more than a year Eva remained unconscious, and Paul made sure to stay by her side at all cost. His studying was paused for as long as he needed. Eventually, Eva woke up. Paul held a huge grudge against Pete for not showing up even once.

Paul would go on to finish the university, and Eva continued working on her research. They barely saw each other, and as soon as Paul graduated he was mobilized as a war broke right about that time.

He went on to pilot a fighter jet on the front lines, and nearly died. His body was never found, and he was declared missing.

Eva was going crazy worrying about him, while Pete as always showed miracles of compassion and care, just shy of celebrating his brother's death.

Paul survived though and returned home on his own two. He would be later awarded a medal since his feat practically turned the tide of the war.

Once the war was over, Paul didn't retire, instead he went on to be Eva's personal bodyguard. He ensured the lab's safety and protected her when she was awarded for her achievements in the field of chemistry.

Eventually, she achieved her goal. She created an essence that could turn a mirror into a portal. She couldn't control the destination, but it could bypass the anomaly's borders, and they could figure it out from there. Pete refused to go with them, but Eva left an extra bottle of that essence for him if he ever changed his mind.

From then on, Eva and Paul quickly reunited with Devi, and found out it's been many thousand years for her. At that point in time, Devi still hadn't recovered her memory, but she was already pretty strong.

A whole new world was open before them. For Paul it was simple - she went wherever Eva went. And Eva went everywhere - she wanted to try everything. Eventually she settled on two things. First, she became a succubus. And second, she became obsessed with fighting. She used to fight as a child, and seeing her mom being strong and beautiful, she wanted to be just as strong as her.

Eva made good progress, quickly becoming third strongest person in the universe - right after her parents (though it's questionable who made that list to begin with.) And then it happened.

As I mentioned before, Devi had a lot on her shoulders. Not remembering her past, she already defeated one enemy, and another one showed up right after, and she didn't even know why they were so determined to kill her. The truth was those two were sent after her... by her own mother.

Anorava gave them a fraction of her power and wanted one thing in exchange - find Devi and do anything they had to but restore her memories. But Darkness was a wicked power, and given to those who were too weak, it corrupted their minds. And Alphonse completely forgot what was the reason he was fighting Devi - but unable to overpower her it seeded a deep hatred for her in his heart.

Alas, Devi was oblivious to this. She was just tired. She already suffered one heartbreak, and another one that shattered her soul in pieces completely, and she barely was able to recover. She thought that if Alphonse was so determined to kill her then if she died he'll rest easy. So she left the protection of the universe to Eva, and went to Heavens.

First of all, she got bored really quickly there. She did have her rest, but quickly realized that she would absolutely dread spending an eternity there.

But that was the least of her problems. Because there was someone who really didn't like her being dead, aside from her friends.

Eva thought she was ready to face any opponent, but she was absolutely unprepared for how wicked and insane Alphonse was. He didn't want Devi dead. No, he wanted to kill her. And surely Devi will come back if he hurts something really precious to her. And he knew nothing was more precious to her than her family.

All he did was he burned Eva's eyes out. Completely. Along with her eyelids. The pain was so agonizing that Eva's own scream ruptured her eardrums, and after a while she lost her voice too. She would regain her voice eventually, but never - ears and eyes. And as if that wasn't enough, he branded Eva's soul. That way, even if she somehow managed to restore her eyes, she was destined to lose them. Again, and again, and again. No matter what she did, no matter how hard she tried, she could return her speech, even her ears - with enough miracle - but never her eyes. Not for long at least.

To say that Devi was mad - to say nothing. She was furious, and also hurt. She would never stop blaming herself for what happened to Eva. And she was incredibly angry. Alphonse achieved his goal - Devi returned to the world of the living. But contrary to his expectations she didn't go on to fight him - first thing she did was making sure Eva wasn't going to do anything to herself.

When all that happened, Eva was left completely alone in the darkness. Saw nothing, heard nothing, only felt pain. Wanted to cry but tears wouldn't come out. She even forgot there was an enemy in front of her - not like he cared about her at all.

But soon enough she felt first touch. Someone grabbed her by the shoulders and slightly shook. She instinctively recoiled, and the touch stopped. Recognized it clearly wasn't an enemy, she reached forward and grabbed the shirt. Big warm hand gently laid over her hand. She skimmed through everyone she knew to figure out who that hand belong to. Figured out it can't be anyone but Paul, she relaxed.

Only when she lost her most important senses did she truly come to appreciate how much Paul cared about her. He carried her home, treated her injuries, applied bandages, and held her hand as she fell asleep. In the situation where she lost everything - he was the sunshine in the complete darkness that she needed to not give up completely. And then Devi came right into her mind, making her feel like the world around her still existed, like it was not all destroyed when she lost her senses.

Devi made sure Eva was still mentally stable, and went on helping her learn how to stop relying on her eyes and ears to live. Not like Devi knew how to. She had to bullshit her way through it, learning herself as she went. Because she knew that if she doesn't, she might lose Eva.

Thanks to her efforts, pretty quickly Eva became much more aware of her surroundings. She became more sensitive to smells, vibrations, and touch. The latter was also making her feel pain more strongly. Her voice slowly returned, a bit hoarse, but she could speak, though couldn't hear herself. Gradually she learned to identify the energy flow around her and translate it into a complete picture inside her head. And in next millions of years of practice she would even go as far as to be able to decipher the sound vibrations and understand speech without actually hearing it. Being forced in such a situation made her a true master of "seeing without eyes, hearing without ears", even Devi could not reach her level of mastery.

Devi tried everything she could to return Eva's eyes and ears. And if with ears it went well, Eva always lost her eyes, one way or another, no matter what, and then always decided to rid of ears to, just because she was used to get by without both. But no matter how much times she said that that's how she prefers it, deep inside she knew she wanted to be able to see. Even if the truth was that without eyes and ears she was stronger than with them, she was willing to trade that for the ability to see her mother, her brother... and of course, her son.

But that was not all. Because even after Alphonse was defeated and gone seemingly forever, he kept living in Devi's, and especially so in Eva's nightmares.

[13eyond13]

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