#prepare for justice

[dont-freeze-together]

[cakypa120]

Captain Marvel can talk to animals, but he does it in a... weird way.

Stray Dog: *barks*

Marvel: *gets on all fours and barks too*

Batman: *looks at Marvel barking in confusion*

Marvel: *stands up* Our criminal ran that way. He also might have a gun.

Red Robin: What the hell?

Flash: I don't know how to react to this.

Superman: Me neither.

Marvel is squatting among the pigeons, making wings with his hands. He also cooed like a pigeon, and the other pigeons cooed to him.

Marvel: I almost figured out where Luthor's new car is, but they'll give up more information for a bag of grain.

Flash: Dude, what is this?

Marvel: Pigeon mafia. Last year they only took half a bag of grain. Gregory took over the information network.

Marvel meows among the stray cats. Some of the stray cats hiss, some just meow in irritation, and some are silent but look around angrily.

Marvel: Drug dealers have taken over that old warehouse we marked.

Oliver: I have so many questions.

Marvel: Let's go arrest the drug dealers and give the cats their home.

Marvel and the gorilla beat their fists on their chests and make sounds.

Hal: Now I understand what Flash meant.

Diana: I wonder what they're talking about.

Dinah: I hope this helps us with the search.

And there are many other similar examples. For some reason, Marvel and the pigeons have a rather strained relationship. Something about a struggle for power and debt, as well as corruption among the pigeons. The League tries not to touch it with a kilometer pole.

[leafyeyes417]

To soothe myself from my last post where it’s non-Joker hate *shudders* here have this.

————————————————————————

The first three months of Danny’s stay in Gotham had been mostly quiet. No big Rogue attacks since most of them were in Arkham. Unfortunately that had come to an end. There was a mass breakout and among them was the Joker.

Danny had made friends with a couple people, during his classes, and had met his new crush Tim at a coffee shop. He was actually with Tim when they got the news about the breakout. They had been walking out to Tim’s car so he could be driven home when it happened.

Tim’s POV

He had been talking with Danny when he saw him shudder and stop walking.

He frowned, turning towards him. “Danny? What’s wrong?” He watched as Danny paled, full body twitched, then his eyes turned a glowing red that took over his entire eyes. He snarled, face almost inhuman as he turned and booked it down the street at inhuman speeds (though nowhere near Flash speed).

Scrambling Tim jumped in his car and chased after Danny, though he quickly lost him. He grabbed his com and turned it on. “Oracle, I need you to track someone.” He quickly rattled out along with the street information and Danny’s description.

“Red Robin, report.” Batman growled out.

“I was walking with my friend back to my car after we heard the news of the breakout. On the way there he froze and then… I’m not quite sure but whatever it was I don’t think he was in control anymore.”

There was silence for a few moments on the coms. Oracle spoke, “I think I found his location. The cameras are fritzing out big time in a decent area near your location.”

When he managed to get there he was honestly a little sickened. There was body parts and blood everywhere. Joker goons, from the occasional mask lying around. Swallowing he ventured deeper into the zone, having to turn off his coms due to the screeching interference.

When he finally set his eyes on Danny it was to see him arm deep into the Joker’s chest. He paused, watching as the Joker’s body fell to the floor, his heart still in Danny’s hand. He watched as Danny’s eyes stopped glowing red and he swayed, dropping the heart to bring a hand to his head.

“Danny?” He asked hesitantly.

Danny turned, a hazy expression on his face. “Tim?” He slurred out.

Quickly making his way over he managed to prevent Danny from toppling over, grimacing at the blood now coating his hand. He noticed the other bats and birds arriving on scene out of the corner of his eye, but stayed focused on Danny. “Let’s get you out of here.” He said gently as he guided Danny out of the area.

Later, after he had managed to get Danny some water and a bit of food, he asked, “Do you remember what happened, Danny?” His friend looked down at his blood covered hands. “I remember walking to your car when it was like I was being grabbed by a bunch of hands and I couldn’t move. Then… it almost felt like I was being stuffed into a box or something and everything was hazy and indistinct after that. I tried fighting it but it like catching smoke. Then I was being released but it was like I had no energy. I know you called my name but I don’t recall much until after you gave me the energy bar.”

Tim frowned, glancing at Black Bat. He saw her sign “true” and nodded. Looks like they might have to call the JLD on this one.

[roipecheur]

Concept: Dickbin who enjoys being thrown like a cat

Batman took him along to a JL meeting, and they're all standing around talking while Robin is doing cartwheels and climbing on shit over in the corner. Suddenly, Robin does a running leap and fucking barrels right at Batman like he's going to attack, and Batman, without missing a beat, catches him one-handed and throws him across the room.

The rest of the League watches in horror as this four-foot-nothing kid who maybe weighs eighty pounds flies through the air--and then does a series of flips and lands on his feet like a cat.

Robin grins wild and gap-toothed like he's having the time of his life (which he might be), and he runs at Batman again.

Ten minutes later, Superman, Wonder Woman, and the Flash are all chucking this manically giggling kid through the air while Green Lantern prepares to catch Robin with his ring if it actually looks like he's gonna hit something, and Batman sits off to the side, covertly stretching his arm.

[superbat-lmao]

A “buddy” vigilante story where Jason and Tim go back in time during Dick’s time as Robin, when the Worlds Greatest Detective was still young.

Basically, they significantly change the past and in the most annoying way possible. Tim knows that no one will know it was them and has been pretty morally flexible about the whole thing. They go down the list of rogues, down the list of siblings, bickering about it the whole time.

Jason kills the Joker, Tim rescues Cass, and both of them try and get one over on the other about their past selves.

Because Tim tries to talk baby Jason into stealing the Bat’s tires early while Jason’s out murdering Zucco, and Jason’s out snatching Tiny Tim and his camera from rooftops trying to leave him gift wrapped in the batcave while Tim’s out stealing info from Luthor.

It’s one giant clusterfuck but they’re successful because Tim and Jason combined are absolutely lethal and no one ever saw them coming.

Meanwhile, they keep running into Robin and absolutely losing it over seeing their oldest brother so young and angry.

Dick tries to track them down after they killed Zucco, he wants to ask why. What the hell they could possibly be doing or why that would matter to them.

Tim pushes Jason off a roof.Jason lights Tim’s ancient computer on fire. Tim tears a book in half. Jason takes pictures of Tiny Tim and sets them as his wallpaper. It’s a comedy, your honor.

And probably the worst headache Batman will ever get.

[frownyalfred]

today in "the DC subreddits are talking about so I will too": the inherent tragedy of Clark being insanely fast as Superman, able to save people in the blink of an eye, but because he was surprised by Lex's plan in BVS, he could only stand there in the subsequent explosion at the hearing because he couldn't see the bomb. he's all powerful but not infallible. he was too slow to react not because he wasn't paying attention, but because he truly didn't believe he needed to. who would hide a bomb in an injured man's wheelchair? who would hide a bomb behind lead shielding? and when the explosion hit, you can see how instantly crushed he is. he didn't take off right away, and he didn't try to save anyone (even though there was likely no point, inside the hearing itself). he just stood there for a beat, crushed by his own failure, crushed by this failure in humanity, devastated that being Superman still isn't enough.

[deimcs]

[VARRIC] Let's just try not to do that again. Bianca hates being turned on her friends.

[k0nanharv3y]

Invented drinks from Tim's coffee shop:

This is part of an AU I'm writing about Tim never joining the Batfam, so, yeah, read that first. Im too lazy to put all the parts, so, go to that link, there will be the first parts

• Coffee I'm The Night – $4.50 (A dark and robust coffee, with a hint of mint, ideal for those looking for something strong and comforting)

• Purple Spoiler Tea – $4.00 (Lavender or blueberry tea, with a touch of honey, something soft and relaxing)

• Espresso Depresso – $3.50 (A strong and bitter espresso, for those who need an extra push)

• Frappuccwing – $5.00 (A frappé with whipped cream, garnished with a hint of strawberry or caramel)

• Latte Matte – $4.75 (A latte with oat milk and a touch of spice)

• Orphan Coffee – $4.25 (A traditional coffee with a hint of cinnamon, evoking something warm and cozy)

• Robin Mokkaccino – $5.25 (A delicious mocha with a hint of dark cocoa and a touch of vanilla)

• Ice Hood – $5.50 (An iced coffee with vanilla syrup and cold cream, perfect for cooling off)

• A Decaffeinated Signal – $4.00 (Decaffeinated coffee with a hint of almond or hazelnut)

• Chai-dentity Crisis – (Chai with almond milk and a touch of honey)

• Two-Shots Latte – (Double espresso latte, because someone always needs two chances)

• Villain Vanilla Shake – (Wickedly creamy, vanilla shake with chocolate chips)

• Gotham Fog – (Dark version of London Fog, Earl Grey tea with steamed milk and a touch of lavender)

• Cold as Freeze – (Coffee slush with whipped cream and mint chips)

• Nightwing Nitro – (Coffee Nitro, elegant but with a strong punch)

• Bane's Protein Shake – (Banana and almond butter protein shake to break your fast in style)

• Caffeinestein – (Coffee infused with an extra boost of caffeine, for those who need to go crazy in the morning)

• Espress-Oh No! – (Espresso with a touch of cinnamon and hazelnut liqueur, ideal for making bad decisions)

• Riddle Me This... – (Mysterious infusion of hibiscus, red fruits and a touch of pink pepper)

• Ginger Crowffee – (Ginger and honey spiced latte, as chaotic as a certain scattered bird)

• Shaken, Not Stirred Espresso – (Non-alcoholic espresso martini, because class needs caffeine too)

• Pump Bat-kin Latte – (Pumpkin latte with a hint of dark chocolate and cinnamon)

• Choco-Freeze – (Chocolate and mint shake, so cold it leaves you frozen)

• Deadshot of Espresso – (Double espresso without sugar, because one shot, one hit… or a tachycardia)

• Venti-llante – (A venti latte, because nothing screams “night watchman” like too much caffeine)

• ChocoBane Shake – (Chocolate protein shake with a hint of chili, because it will make you stronger… but it will hurt first)

Desserts:

• Bat-nana split – $6.00 (A banana split with a touch of dark chocolate and whipped cream)

• Stealed Cat-Cake – $5.75 (A dark chocolate cupcake with creamy filling and a hint of mint)

• Moccha Riddle – $4.50 (A soft and fluffy mocha cake with chocolate frosting)

• Joker Cake (Because it explodes) – $7.00 (A chocolate cake with a surprise filling that 'explodes' with a splash of liquor, decorated with brightly colored cream)

• Black Cookie(s) – $2.75 (Dark chocolate cookies, perfect to accompany coffee)

• ScatteredCrow – $5.25 (Walnut brownie with a hint of sea salt and caramel, a robust dessert)

• Harley's Chaos – (Red velvet cupcake with raspberry filling and decorated with red and black colors)

• Raspberry Ghoul-ette – (Raspberry cupcake with dark frosting, for ghosts who love sweets)

• Puddin' Proof – (Chocolate caramel pudding, because if you have to prove it, it's not real pudding)

• Crime Brûlée – (Crème brûlée with a hint of rum, so good it should be illegal)

• Sin-amon Roll – (Sinfully Delicious Cinnamon Roll)

• Death by Chocolatewing – (Dark chocolate cake with layers of ganache and a pinch of sea salt)

• Sweet Tooth's Revenge – (Ice cream with caramel, brownie pieces and lots of chocolate chips)

• Hood Velvet Cake – (Red Velvet Cake with Cream Cheese and Raspberry Filling)

• Jelly Dent – (Strawberry jam filled donut, perfect until someone takes a bite)

• Snicker-Crow – (Chocolate, caramel and nut bar, with a touch of coffee for those who need a plan)

• Sweet, Sweet Vengeance Pie – (Salted Caramel Apple Pie, because revenge is better when it’s sweet)

• Broken Wing Brownie – (Brownie with a melted dark chocolate center, perfect for melancholic nights)

• Joker's Wildberry Tart – (Wildberry tart with colorful whipped cream, because there's always a surprise in every bite)

• The Double-Face Cookie – (Half chocolate chip, half oatmeal cookie, for the indecisive or the morally ambiguous)

• Not-So-Fortunate Fortune Cookie – (Fortune cookie that only says "Tough luck, kid.")

Breakfast and Brunch:

• Eggs-tra Vigilante – (Scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and toast, because night heroes also eat breakfast)

• Robin's Toast – (French toast with powdered sugar and red berry syrup, as sweet as it is deadly)

• Bat-cakes – (Chocolate pancakes with bat ears and whipped cream)

• The Darkoats Rises – (Homemade granola with Greek yogurt and honey, because sometimes simple is best)

• The Last Bite of Krypton – (Spinach and feta omelette, packed with solar energy in every bite)

Sandwiches and Salads:

• Gotham Club Sandwich – (Triple sandwich with turkey, bacon, lettuce and tomato, as big as the city itself)

• The Knightwich – (Roast beef sandwich with melted cheese on rustic bread, for those dark and stormy days)

• Harvey's Half – (Sandwich with two different halves: one with ham and cheese, the other with turkey and cranberries)

• The Poison Green – (Spinach, arugula, avocado, walnut and basil dressing salad, as fresh as it is lethal)

• The Anti-Meat – (Vegan Sandwich)

• Scarecroissant – (Croissant filled with ham, Swiss cheese and mustard, so addictive it’s scary)

• Hall of Just-ice – (Crispy Chicken Caesar Salad, so classic it deserves its own monument)

• Bane's Big Bite – (Chili with meat and melted cheese, because surviving in Gotham requires a main course)

• Shiva's Hair – (Noodle soup with spicy broth, pork and egg, as lethal as its creator)

• Freeze Fries – (French fries with cheese and ranch dressing, always served cold, but with a warm heart)

Honestly I was too lazy to put prices on the rest of them, but I had fun naming them.

Well, my brother told me "You should put copyright on it" and I really don't want to, but, if you ever make any of my desserts and/or use any of the names I'd like you to send me a picture of it, and be tagged, other than that you're free to use any, and since I see you want ALL O_o the recipes, I'll post them on my personal account and tag them here, because I refuse to have so many recipes here, I have to scroll down too far to find my past posts

[puppppppppy]

first time playing ace attorney

[reality-detective]

⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️ WARNING ⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️

Watch for False Flags 🚩 because more names will be unsealed from the Epstein Island list. 🤔

[shitpostingkats]

Equal parts sweet and hilarious to me that Athana is not allowed to participate in The Courtroom That Can Kill You.

Athena: Hey, I can help! Let me stand in the courtroom with you!

Phoenix *flashing back to the last time Simon Blackquill thought Athena was in even a modicum of danger*: haha let's not

[cursedcola]

Y’all I stayed up until 5am to pull for Savanaclaw Rook and not only did he come home in 30 pulls, I GOT TWO OF HIM IN ONE TENPULL

I AM FLYING OFF THE WALLS OF MY ENCLOSURE RIGHT NOW

[ddarker-dreams]

Lock!! does ur big wrinkly brain have any neuvillette thoughts

yan neuvillette... it'd really be something.

he isn't cruel, deceptive, or forcefully restrictive. you'll walk away from interactions feeling like something's off, without being able to identify what. the quiet intensity of his gaze, perhaps? he looks at you like you hold the key to all the universe's mysteries. there's this expectation that neither you nor him fully understand.

he's just as perplexed by his behavior as you are, if not more so. from the onset, he rightfully predicts that nothing good will come from this. he values fairness and recognizes the immense gap in your positions. there's so much he could do, so much he could get away with, and his fascination with the infinite possibilities initially disturbs him. this mild revulsion never fully disappears, serving as a minor checks and balance for himself.

neuvillette isn't delusional. when he realizes there's no staunching this interest, he decides to take a practical approach by drafting his own code of conduct. he reasons that these 'rules', while dubious, provide a framework that's preferable to the draconic urge to possess you in your entirety.

the reoccurring tenet centers around doing you no 'unnecessary harm.' naturally, this is subject to his interpretation. your definition and his don't often overlap. he isn't deaf to your objections, though, in fact, he encourages them. he'd much prefer you spell out your thinking than leave him in the dark. if you make a compelling enough case, he'll relent. these minor victories mostly consist of you absolving innocent friends from his judgment.

you'll come to find out why your occasional run-ins left a lasting impression on you. it's because each second, behind that composed façade, he was weighing your fate on a scale that favored his interests over yours.

[irlnorthshaw]

need all the north/blok shippers to come forward and explain to me what's happening here... seems pretty suspicious to me

[sickfreaksirkay]

no one talk to me about how the word virgil uses to describe aeneas killing turnus means "to bury [his sword]" but also means "to found [a city]". christ

[puppetmaster13u]

What if they managed to pull it off twice-

Au belongs to @phoenixcatch7 so go give them love <3