#premarin

[arikitari-josei-osaka-naru]

Naru's new prescription (circa 1999)

Synthetic Estradiol wasn't a thing yet in the 1990s, so in this story concept she's got the more antiquated Premarin instead.

(I know I've been leaning really far into this HC lately, and that it's mostly author appeal since I'm trans, and I understand most people probably don't buy into this random idea since there's nothing to indicate it in the series... but it speaks to me, and I kinda figure, why not just go for it? So here we are.)

[rosejuliianaa]

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[jenniferrobingallery]

MENOPAUSE AND PREMARIN: To treat or not to treat, that’s the question!

[mcatmemoranda]

Premarin is called premarin because it comes from Pregnant MARes' uRINe. It comes from horses they keep pregnant. They get estrogen from the mares' urine.

[errant-heron]

they tell me that 54% of estradiol excretion is through urine. it's an obvious inefficiency. but to improve the effects of your HRT, there's an obvious solution. all you have to do is get really good at holdi— no, wait, come back!

[firespirited]

Wish I had the knowledge and tools and 200 hours of free time to make the Barbie movie fanedit of my dreams. 

Barbie (premarin edition): 1h 30 minutes.

Same film for Babs minus the pink suit heist part but Blonde Beach Ken has a petty rivalry with Asian Beach Ken so he’s channelled it all into rage against his beach career competition. 

Barbieland is falling apart because of their macho one-upmanship (insert massive edit of the middle/end sections recut with a couple of Point Break references).

Will Ferrell’s presence is cut by 96%. The country song is cut up to be Kens only on screen.

The outro has a stop motion bit with both 1/6th dolls riding Barbie horses and clearly taped down because their bodies don’t quite fit, they race because they can’t quit competing. 

It’s all left up to the viewer what they read into this.

[pilcare-nce]

Premarin Tablet - Conjugated Estrogens (0.625mg) Pfizer Ltd - Pilcare - Exporter from India

Premarin Tablet is a female sex hormone (estrogen). It is a part of female hormone replacement therapy which helps in treating estrogen deficiency symptoms like hot flushes (red and warm face) and vaginal dryness.

[pilcare]

Manage menopause symptoms with Premarin Tablet from Pilcare.com - Importer and Exporter of pharmaceuticals from India.

[xerserise]

[v-carepharmacy]

Less serious, but common side effects include headache, breast pain, irregular vaginal bleeding or spotting, stomach/abdominal cramps/bloating, nausea and vomiting, hair loss, fluid retention, vaginal yeast infection, reactions from Premarin Vaginal Cream such as vaginal burning, irritation, and itching. https://v-carepharmacy.com/shop/premarin-vaginal-cream14-gm

[callifawnia]

"pregnant mares urine = premarin" will always be the best drug name but i am a fan of "progynova" being interpreted as "in favour of new women"

[kawaoneechan]

Breaking Bad, but Walter makes DIY HRT instead of meth.

Jesse: What about that prema-whatsit, Mistah White? Walter: Compared to other options, premarin is bullshit. Jesse: That's funny, I thought it was horse piss.

[mallowmaenad]

baedel flow

this shit ain't nothin to me girl

i'm taking DIY alstolfo brand temu titty skittles. I got so much prog up my ass my dildo has erectile dysfunction. I'm injecting estrogen straight into my face so I can force fem the cop in my brain.

I'm problematic. I ship things you can't imagine. The judge read my Archive Of Our Own bookmarks out loud and the jury were too busy throwing up to give me a guilty verdict.

I smoke shit so dank it'll age regress you into a fucking sperm.

I'm on that greymarket back alley bimbo goo. I'm doing deviantart shit to my body just to look myself in the mirror when I shave in the morning.

Your sister LOVES my milk duds. You never had a brother, she calls me mommy with a 2 year age difference.

I'm putting lead and estrogen in my haters' cereal so I can make some toxic yuri, get them moaning in their boyvoices 6 months later behind the Warhammer store like I'm fucking Slaanesh.

They/them me again and I'll run a used Manscaped Lawnmower across your face until you look like a fucking newborn

I show up to Planned Parenthood just to stand there and watch the abortions, licking my lips between sips of Strawberry Dreams mixed with pure thailander gamer girl sweat.

When I'm done with you you'll never want to go to the pool shirtless again bitch

I'm on those quadruple puppygirlboygirl anarchist homebrew estrogen patches, taking so much spiro that Big Pharma is wiping down fire hydrants in my area to make Premarin with the residue.

The only thing Harkness is testing is my fucking patience and I'm about to turn him into another one of my little sisters

I'm smoking that bocchi the rock giving myself middle school anxiety so intense it erases my male socialization

They wanted to write a callout post about me so I fucked their moms, and their dogs and the playstation 5 just for good measure, now if they don't call me auntie they're grounded from role playing My Hero Academia characters on discord for 2 weeks.

You wish I'd make you my bitch. By the time you re-align your pronouns you'll be bottoming for a fucking stuffed shark posting about your Amazon Basics skirt on reddit

They call me the egg cracker because I bust so many fucking balls

I radiate so much AGP my nickname at the local pride center is elephant's foot. I give Kaitlyn Jenner so much gender envy it's got her considering voting blue in the next election.

Yeah I'm on E, what the fuck else am I gonna trip on when I drive to the pharmacy blasting SewerSlvt so loud youtube is recommending video essays to every single person in the tri state area.

Christine Chandler wishes she was me. Contrapoints wishes she was me. Aphrodite desires me carnally. They can't handle the divine feminine energy radiating from my unwashed hen cause they gotta go through the Hero's Journey just to get a face full of baby butter that tastes like expired anchovies.

Tonight girl my chosen name is Bridget because I'm going to go to town inside you. Your hole's gonna be more ruined than Thanksgiving dinner when I show up in a slutty little number watching my cousin the same age as me lose another inch of his hairline.

I'm sucking on that neocities watamote siscon shadow siren hard candy getting affected like a male feminist just heard me say the word bitch a little too loud for his liking. My Celeste speedruns have never been faster.

Fuck around and find out keep talking shit and my final fantasy 14 plugins won't be the only thing I'll be reprogramming tonight

[transhuman-priestess]

Bring an elder Tran despite being in my early 30s is so trippy. What do you mean you don’t remember premarin? COGIATI? The great “transgendered” discourse of 2013??????

[untitledgoosegay]

premarin also high on the list of things people get really weird about that i just think are incredibly cool

like, regardless of the fact that it isn't really prescribed anymore because we've got way better HRT, it's so so so cool that we have a working form of exogenous E that dates back to, what, the bronze age? that RULES

[acegiak]

Ok but the thing about The Matrix, though, is that when it was released we all knew it was a fuckin Gospel allegory, like it was so obvious as to be on the nose. And like yeah basically any heroes journey can be interpreted as the gospel but for real: Neo is The One(it's an anagram lol), who was prophesied, Trinity/The Holy Spirit leads him to Morpheus/John The Baptist who baptises/frees him (the imagery of the mirror like liquid covering and entering neo and then his emergence from the pod is absolutely a baptism) and then Morpheus/John declares him to be The One that was prophesied. This frees him from his identity as Thomas Anderson (Thomas because he was doubting, Anderson because Son Of Man is mortal also flawed) and allowing him to become Neo, who will lead everyone from the flawed world into the world of the truth(kingdom of God). First thing after this revelation he has to go be weak for a while but then gains a bunch of disciples and learns how to do miracles and then Cypher/Judas betrays everyone for earthly pleasures which lead to a confrontation where Agent Smith(Satan, obvs but also his numberplate in the second film is IS5416 for Isiah 54:16) defeats Neo and he dies but then is resurrected because of his connection to Trinity/The Holy Spirit (seriously TRINITY??) which defeats Smith/Satan and empowers Neo/Jesus to spread the truth to everyone in the whole world moving forward.

But ALSO it's clearly, in hindsight, a trans allegory, again so clearly as to be on the nose. The first thing on screen is "call trans opt: received". Neo is obviously miserable with his life and place in society and knows something is up but doesn't know what, has been experimenting with an alternate identity online. Gets an invitation to go to a club and encounters alternative people and one confirms that something IS up. The forces of the system and his own doubt (Thomas) try to keep Neo in his current role, ignorance and the closet, using the name Mr Anderson (mister son of man) repeatedly in a torture scene where he doesn't have access to words to speak his truth. A direct encounter with someone who has already been down the path and now lives in their own truth, and offers the opportunity to discover ones own truth by taking a red pill (the color of premarin pills, a common estrogen HRT medication). Neo then undergoes a physical transformation from the pill and must then relearn how to exist but in doing so becomes more powerful than ever. In this new form Neo still has to battle against the old world and its systems which have become more violent and still continue to try to cast Neo back into the identity of Mr Anderson but it is self confidence in the the truth that enables Neo to be victorious. Also being trans gives you could kungfu super powers.

SO

You know where I'm going.

TRANSitive property of allegory...

Is the Gospel a trans allegory?

Jesus Of Nazareth is born with an innate identity that is hidden for years by his parents for fear of government persecution but there are signs of this true identity all throughout childhood. When Jesus meets someone with access to the truth he becomes fully aware of the truth of his own identity. He then has to go endure a period of suffering and temptation to abandon the path of truth, but eventually emerges enlightened as his true self. That true self is then a symbol that inherently reveals the falsehoods of the social constructs underpinning the society around him and those who rely on those constructs to hold power and status over others become enraged by this undermining and weaponise the tools of the state against the body of the transgressive person.

I'm not saying that Jesus was trans, of course. I'm saying the story of Jesus is actually an allegorical myth to reveal that trans people and trans bodies are holy and sacred and should be honored for the truth they reveal to us.