#precaution. why are YOU of all people making me feel like shit for wanting to protect you. lol

[pepprs]

girl why is EVERYONE being cavalier about this. i just found out i literaly was sitting 3 feet across from someone who was symptomatic with covid for 2 hours yesterday. she was masked and i was wearing an n95 but that is not a guarantee that i didn’t get it. I was exposed 30ish hours ago but if i got it it hasn’t incubated yet probably so i May n out be symptomatic yet but i could be. and my family who made my life a LIVING HELL back in 2020 and 2021 over being afraid i would give them covid suddenly don’t give a single shit about it when this is the most significant way i have ever been exposed. they think im being irrational and don’t habe patience for me panicking over it and not wanting to go be around them and act like everything is normal. um maybe im panicking for good fucking reason because i don’t want to get you sick and i don’t want to be sick myself? like someone please tell me im not fucking crazy im about to lose my shit

[charredpages]

[Alt text] ten screenshots of text posts by the user themme_fatale on Instagram. The text reads:

(1/10)

Do you remember the exact moment that anti-masking stopped being a far-right talking point

And became advice you were willing to follow?

(2/10)

I try to make the ways I communicate about COVID as compassionate and non-judgemental as possible because I understand that we have all been failed in this and my primary anger is always upwards.

BUT

I also need you to understand - if you are not taking precautions, you are aligning yourself with eugenicists.

The person who actively says “fuck disabled people they deserve to 💀” and never masks, and the person who never masks because “It’s annoying and besides-no one else is” are BOTH devaluing people’s lives.

(3/10)

And that might feel confronting for some of you, and I know the knee-jerk reaction is probably going to be to deflect by accusing me of “shaming people” or whatever.

I’m not shaming anyone though - it’s just uncomfortable to sit with because if you’re the kind of person who follows me chances are you don’t actually want to be engaging in eugenics.

And re-engaging with the idea that COVID is not only still around, but still actively dangerous is asking a lot of you when the alternative is the comfort of denial.

Especially when so many of the tools to keep ourselves and each other safe have been taken away from us. But the thing is none of that is actually a reason not to act.

(4/10)

There are people IN YOUR COMMUNITY relying on you to take precautions so that they don’t d1e.

(5/10)

With love, and compassion for the fact that this shit is hard - ignorance is running out as an excuse. It’s time to do better, and help your mates do better too.

People in your community shouldn’t have to constantly remind you not to put their lives in danger. Surely you can see that’s a pretty fucked up dynamic, right?

(6/10)

We shouldn’t have to push so hard on “it’s good for you to protect yourself too!” Like it still absolutely is, but saving the lives of people in your community should actually be enough to motivate you to act.

It’s genuinely fucked up to be ok with a whole proportion of the population being either being locked in their homes indefinitely or at risk of 💀 on the daily.

(7/10)

It should be considered more socially awkward to engage in eugenics by k1lling and isolating disabled people in your own community than it is to put on a mask

The fact that it’s not should embarrass all of us until we change it.

(8/10)

It should be considered more selfish to put people’s lives at risk than to ask to be kept safe

Your choices can change or reinforce that culture.

(9/10)

Government inaction puts a weapon in your hand

Pretending it’s not there puts us all in danger

(10/10)

Why do you require a mandate to care about other people?

[ddejavvu]

for a Tyler request what about him and reader getting into a really bad argument and storming off and when he cools down he can’t find her and is panicking

Alive and Crazy - Tyler Owens x Reader

come participate in tyler owens night !

Perhaps it was cruel of you to pick such a secluded hiding spot, but after all, isn't that what hiding's all about? Perhaps then the cruel part was hiding at all. But you can't shake Tyler's vicious words, "Y'know, if you don't stop trying to hold me back, maybe I should just cut myself loose."

All this over a tornado? His lifestyle is... intense. You are of the opinion that Tyler's hobby is ridiculously dangerous, and while you're slightly comforted by the safety precautions he takes (especially the drills that anchor his truck into the ground), you're less than impressed with the way he shows off and makes those precautions almost useless. Really, does he need to lean out of the window to see how long he can handle it? You'd only been trying to find some middle ground, but Tyler apparently seems to think you're trying to chain him up in the basement to prevent him from ever having any fun.

There's a secluded cabinet in the back of your laundry room that's perfect for hiding - just big enough to fit in and with an outlet for easy phone charging. You're just about to hit your two hour mark huddled in the cabinet when you hear thundering footsteps nearing your location.

"Baby? Hey, baby, y'gotta tell me where you are. Come on, baby, just wanna know you're safe. You in here?"

That's the last thing you hear before daylight spills into your dark cabinet, and your phone's screen becomes instantly duller in comparison. You glare up unimpressed at Tyler but his face crumples in relief so fast that you can barely hold the expression.

"Shit darlin'." He heaves a sigh, and any sympathy you'd felt for him instantly disappears when he has the gall to scold you next, "Do you know how damn long I've been looking for you?"

"Oh I'm sorry," You bite up at him, rage reigniting in your eyes, "Does my need for space inconvenience you?"

"No!" He nearly shrieks, but he reins himself in, "No, no, that's not- I shouldn't have said it like that. I was just worried."

"Well I'm not sure why," You turn back to your phone, but there's no concentration present as you mindlessly scroll, "I'd have expected you to be out enjoying your freedom seeing as you're cutting yourself loose."

"I'm not cutting myself loose." He vows, and it's soft instead of his typical drawl. He crouches, then makes the terrible, horrible decision to attempt to fit into the crawlspace with you.

"No- no, Tyler, you can't fit!" You squeal as he shoulders his way in, pressed flush to his body as he settles in a space half his size.

"It's fine." He grunts, but it's labored and very much not fine, "I just wanna be near you."

"I don't wanna be near you." You sneer, but you make no move to get up, "The whole reason I'm squeezed into this cabinet is because I was trying to hide from you."

"Did a damn good job, too." He admits, head slumped against the wall instead of your shoulder, "I was runnin' around for almost half an hour."

"Serves you right." You grumble, "Don't say mean shit if you want people to like you."

"I know." He reaches out and sets a hand on your knee, chaste and reassuring, "I'm sorry, darlin'. I just- lost control, or something. I don't know. I've been doin' this my whole life, and when you try to tell me how to do it, it makes me feel like you don't think I can handle it myself."

"Tyler, no one can. Some of the things that you're doing-" You stop yourself short, "I'm not saying you can't have fun. I'm not saying you can't chase- er, wrangle tornadoes. I'm just saying you don't have to keep trying to outdo yourself. There has to be a limit, otherwise you'll get killed."

He's silent after your speech, perhaps mulling it over, perhaps drafting his counterargument. In the end, he tips his head from the wall to your shoulder, and murmurs close to your ear.

"Yeah. You're right. I think... I think I just don't know when to stop sometimes."

"I agree with that," You try to keep too much accusation from seeping into your tone, "But that's why I said something. I don't want you to stop, I just don't want it to stop you."

"Yeah. Alright. I understand." And he sounds like he does. He laces his fingers with yours like he does, and he cranes his neck to peck his lips against your cheek like he does.

"You're not holding me back," He promises, "What I said earlier... that was dumb. This is a partnership, not some sort of prison sentence. I love you, darlin'."

"I love you too," You sigh, leaning sideways into his embrace, "You promise no more hanging out of windows?"

"I promise I won't anymore. Can't promise nothin' for Boone."

"Boone's crazy," You laugh, "You're all crazy. I just want you alive and crazy."

"Deal." Tyler grins, holding out a pinky and letting you lock it with yours, "Alive and crazy, darlin'."

[nikkeora]

e-42!Miles Morales headcanons (fluff) ㅡ

Okay, so, I've seen a lot of people headcanon that Miles is going to buy you anything and everything you even look at

but while that's fine because they're headcanons, let me remind you the boy is 16. He's not gonna be walking into Gucci and buying everything off the displays like a webtoon.

That being said, if he has a little extra cash he'll most likely spend it on you.

I'm talking little meaningful things though. Flowers, books, little trinkets that reminded him of you and such,

if your hobby needs supplies, he'll discreetly scan your stock when he's over and get you a refill of whatever you're low on.

He also cherishes whatever you gift to him and refuses to throw anything from you away.

Like once, you got the both of you matching shoes. They've been his favorite pair ever since.

And also dates.

Dates are a little rare between the two of you ngl, because 1) New York is literally Gotham atp, and 2) being the Prowler takes up a lot of time.

so you mostly hang out at each other's places as a substitute.

But when you do go out, Miles will plan everything down to a T

because let's face it, he tries to act cool but boy is nervous

You're the first person that isn't family he's actually opened up to. He doesn't want you to have a single bad experience with him.

But even if your dates go sideways, either one or both of you always find a way to make it better :)

At the start of your relationship, he's not too big on PDA.

but as it progresses, he starts getting more comfortable about stuff like holding hands or chaste kisses in public.

Once he's completely sure of himself and the two of you, he's always touching you in some way;

linking pinkies, holding hands, hand/arm around your waist, etc.

Never, I repeat never in front of Uncle Aaron though.

It's not that he's embarrassed of you or anything, but his uncle will definitely tease the living hell out of him

Speaking of Uncle Aaron, he likes you.

The first time he heard about you was a week or two after he taught Miles the Shoulder Touch™

Keep in mind, this is before Miles's dad passed away and all that,

so the boy was awkward.

When he tried it out on you, you couldn't help laughing, just a tiny bit.

Then he made the mistake of telling his uncle, who made it so much worse

"Can you please stop laughing? I'm being serious!"

"I'm sorry man–"

"No you're not 😒"

Back to physical affection, Miles is a sucker for any that you give him.

hugs, cuddles, kisses, you name it.

He will literally melt into your arms.

He'll try to deny it at first but it isn't fooling anyone, so at one point he just gives up the tough guy act when it's just the two of you.

Forehead/top of the head kisses? PLEASE PLEASE P L E A S E

he needs some soft affection.

He is down bad.

You get back hugs. all the time. extra when he's sleepy.

he will literally penguin walk you everywhere.

A lot of times he'll put his head on your chest and hear your heartbeat to remind himself you're still there and his. Especially when 'work' was hard.

Speaking of, he also told you he's the Prowler.

Of course, he tried to delay it as much as he could, but once the two of you were absolutely stable he felt wrong keeping it a secret.

Especially when he had to bail on plans for some inpromptu work thing and couldn't give you a reason why.

You'd kinda put two and two together at that point, but it was nice to hear him actually tell you.

After Miles comes clean though, his protective tendancies will double.

He isn't controlling or smothering, but he has some strong feelings against you walking in the streets alone after dark and such.

And they only get stronger after he tells you what he does. If something happened to you because you knew, he'd never forgive himslelf.

So he takes precautions. Whenever he drops by your place after work, he always changes first so that no one sees the Prowler frequent some random apartment.

he'll never let you anywhere near his job. You don't need to watch all that nasty shit.

and so on, so forth.

He's also a big whiner. He will drag his words out to the ends of the earth if he has to.

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa–"

"Miles, my paper's due in two days."

"Finish it tomorrow then. Necesito sostenerte, hermosa."

"...Fine."

Mrs. Morales also loves you. You're basically her daughter in law already.

Which is great!

Until she starts showing you the baby pictures.

"Miles had the cutest little face–"

"Má, please–"

She loves having you around and will let you stay the night whenever (as long as the door's cracked open).

You're invited to every single family event courtesy of Rio.

Miles will try to participate in anything you're interested in.

you like doing makeup? put some on him pls.

he'll also watch youtube tutorials to learn how to do it himself and do it for you.

which doesn't work too well the first few times, but now he's a natural!

his first time doing your eyeliner though:

"Miles, you've been at it for like 10 minutes. Let me see!"

"..."

"Is that– is that a wing?"

"..."

"🏃‍♂️🚶‍♂️"

"No, no, it's nice– it's so nice–"

Rio almost died laughing.

If you like to draw, he'll take you on grafitti dates !

But if you're nervous about that, then he'll just sit and draw with you or something.

don't look at his paper, he's drawing you and will be very flustered (he'll try to play it cool but blushing isn't rly something he can control)

so yea look at his paper

If you're part of a fandom, he'll study everything he can find on it so that he can understand what you're talking about.

He'll most likely like it too, and you guys could spend hours talking about it if you want.

but if he's not that into it, he'll just sit and listen contently to you talk about it with the stupidest smile on his face like :]

He has the softest spot for you even a blind person could see it.

He just loves you so much pls love him back

probably do a pt.2 soon

[austinsastrology8991]

> Ascendant Aspects < How you Appear to be, and how your treated based off your appearances > why you look like a clown without makeup

Ascendant aspecting Sun - I like your smile. Did you put it on for me, or for yourself? yes your charismatic, yes we noticed why your so confident, yes your literally the greatest person do you really need us to shower you in affection all the fkn time? your extra but too many toppings ruin a good pizza. your the embodiment of the cheesy smile from that cat in alice in wonderland. main character energy for sure you get the attention and you know how to use it Ascendant Aspecting moon - 🌚 < dont they look like that.? idk but you guys look like someone you want to grab the cheeks of and treat like a baby, your like a sugar glider. but we know your emotional so we have to be careful with how we grab your cheeks 👀 please stop crying its just a joke > also; big ass eyes. you are so sweet that everyone just wants to take you home and feed you till you become so obese you cant leave Ascendant Aspecting Mercury - the most devilish and cheeky smile all at once. they look like a kid about to do something bad, or have just been caught doing something bad and are now trying to explain why they had to do that dumbassery. but no matter how much you explain yourself, we will still question you because its funny watching you come up with explanations. you give me the vibe of any character from cartoon network or nickledoen - timmy turner, southpark, phineas and ferb, ed edd and eddy, or fkn bart simpson, you act like a cartoon yes.

Ascendant Aspecting Venus - I dont normally do this but whats ur number? is what your used to hearing presumably. and its not necessarily because your attractive... okay you are, you can stop pouting now. but its because you know how to get attention and you clearly love getting it. but they act so superficial, and oblivious sometimes... like they purposrfully look away just so its easier for you to look at them, 💀 then they look back playfully and it gets you in the feels. remind me of doctor who's bitches (any of them) they all act the same idc what you say

Ascendant Aspecting Mars - so pissed off lol but its hot. they are fierce > if they want something they are going to get it, and even the mere consideration of negotiating what they want will just get them more mad. which makes them more attractive? idk people love their ferocity, and as much as people say they don't like aggressive types, they don't ever get in their way when they pissed off (ik because im hot head) your basically a hornet > and no one gonna fight a hornet without the proper precautions Ascendant aspecting Jupiter - Yall are excellent at impressions and being impressionable, idk how you do it so well. You just act normal but then pull off this funny shit and return back to normal like its nothing. you guys perfected just being, and this energy makes people want to be around you. Your like a firework, the explosion is awesome, but when it goes away your like damn that was awesome wish it stayed; but thats what makes it so good, because we never know when its coming, and when its gone we want it back lol Ascendant Aspecting Saturn - batman without the mask sucks. thats you. batman without the mask.... why so serious???? > "because life shouldnt be taking for granted and fuckery aint apart of my Repertoire" - is some whack ass shit yall would say. you have great dignity, but people get insecure around you because your on top of your shit. oh and you tell people to get on top of their shit all the fkn time lol. > your like a crow, you look like one and act like one. - Side note- one time i had a stand off with a crow: I was chilling at home and i was on top of these tile blocks, then this crow came along. I tried to scare him, by like staunching him just a bit. but he responded by gripping the tree branch he was perched on, by twisting his claw foot; and he did it with so much ferocity it made this bone cracking noise (from the strength of his grip gripping the tree) and suddenly i was intimated.... by a fkn crow. okay moving on

Ascendant Aspecting Uranus - how did you even become like that. no one really understands why you act the way you do, you do some really eccentric things which are eye grabbing but also disturbing the more you think about it. your like a sword fish. theres probably more effective ways to kill fish, but i mean a sword works, we are just wondering how you attached a sword to your face. also try to calm down, you doing so much and acting so bizarre that im actually more worried about you, even though im laughing my ass off. Ascendant Aspecting Neptune - your like a mirror of all that i ever could want in a person, and this mysterious allure you so easily pull off is truly enchanting. its like being around you makes it feel as if reality can so easily be readjusted into what i would like it to be. but this quality of urs is addicting, and no wonder people project onto you. but you cant even blame them, you literally shapeshift into whatever you want, and typically you like to show it off. your like a chameleon. or a axolotl Ascendant Aspecting Pluto - you scare people easily lol. your a spider. but spiders are sexy.... look at the BUNDA. okay but those teeth yeesh, have you ever seen a spider like lick its lips, bro its fkn scary. theres a reason arachnophobia is the most popular phobia and its because spiders are fucked. and yall are fucked. you move like a spider, and i swear to god you smile like one too lol. but people low key wanna be eaten by a spider..... so go ahead choose yo prey you fkn creepy crawler

[violet-fluff]

Levi x Pregnant! Reader AU

An Unexpected Gift (pt.1)

Part two

Masterlist

You stared at the endless amount of medical posters plastered on the walls.

One provided a hotline for mental crisis.

One demonstrated a diagram of a human’s nervous system.

And another was reminding everyone to get their flu shot for the upcoming season.

You weren’t here for any of that. You were here because…cancer.

At least that’s what Google determined your sudden nausea was, because…why wouldn’t Google continuously tell people they have cancer?

“Miss L/N?” A nurse’s sweet voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

The nurse escorts you to the back where she has you step on a scale to get your weight.

You’ve lost three pounds.

Yup. Cancer. Definitely cancer.

After taking other precautions like your height, blood pressure and temperature, the nurse leaves you in a room to wait for the doctor.

The crinkling of the bed’s paper cover annoys you as it crinkles every time you move.

You sit up straight as you hear a knock on the door and your doctor walks in.

“Miss L/N. Nice to see you again.”

“Dr. Reed,” You sigh, “I have cancer don’t I?”

Dr. Reed chuckles as he sits in his chair, reading over his clipboard. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop reading Google?”

“Every time…”

He looks over the rim of his glasses and smiles as he clicks his pen closed. “Well fortunately for you, Miss L/N, you don’t have cancer. Your blood tests and urine samples came back showing that you’re pregnant.”

Time stood still. You feel all the color wash from your face as you feel light headed. “P-pregnant?”

“Mhmm,” Dr. Reed hums and crosses his arms. “It explains your sudden nausea, weight loss and fatigue. I’m shocked Google told you cancer and not pregnancy. Although, your iron levels are low so I’m going to prescribe you iron pills as well as prenatals.”

You cover your eyes as you laugh in disbelief. “I didn’t figure I was pregnant because my husband is snipped. He’s not supposed to be able to get me pregnant!”

Dr. Reed hums in thought. “I see. Well unfortunately in some rare instances, vasectomies can fail. I would advise your husband to go to his doctor to get that looked at. You both decided to not have children or he already had the vasectomy before he married you?”

You sigh. “We both decided to not have children.”

“Alright,” Dr. Reed uses his professionalism to analyze the situation, “How do you feel about this? The pregnancy I mean.”

“Shocked. In disbelief.” You twiddle your thumbs anxiously. “I mean, this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“I have an important question to ask. This may be one you want to speak with your husband about first, only if you’re comfortable with that. Do you want to terminate the pregnancy or keep it?” The doctor asks sternly, but softly.

You try to think of an answer, but so much is going on in your head that you can’t come up with one on the spot. “Um, I have to think about this first. I would also like to let my husband know. It would be wrong of me not to tell him.”

Dr. Reed nods and helps you up. “Alright. If you want to keep the pregnancy or terminate it, I want you to call the office right away after you make the decision so I can know what direction to take you.”

Tears fill your eyes as you nod. “Thanks, Dr. Reed.”

He smiles and helps you back out to the office.

Once you get home, Levi is waiting for you on the couch. Your eyes widen.

“You’re home early?”

Levi nods as he watches the TV. “Yeah. The building is getting electrical maintenance so Erwin sent us all home.”

“Ok.” You quickly walk to the bathroom and sit on the floor for a few minutes, trying to figure out how you will tell Levi.

You jump when there’s a knock on the door. “You alright? Did you have to take a shit?”

With a small laugh, you took a deep breath and decided it was now or never.

You walk out of the bathroom and come face to face with Levi. He raises a brow as you grab his arm and sit you both on the edge of your bed.

“I went to the doctors today….”

Levi groaned. “Shit. You’re dying aren’t you?”

You give a small smile. “I thought I was. But…I’m pregnant…”

Levi’s eyes widen and he jumps up. “What?! How?!”

“The doctor said sometimes a vasectomy can fail and-“

“No no no!” Levi cuts you off as he starts pacing back and forth. “Not mine. My wouldn’t fail. I went to the best doctor in the city.”

At a loss for words, all you can do is start tearing up and stuttering. “W-well, that’s what my doctor said. He confirmed-“

Levi stopped right in front of you and looked down towards you. “You cheated didn’t you?”

“What?! No!” You yell. “I literally told you what my doctor said. He said you should get rechecked by yours.”

Levi covers his face with his hands. “Do you want to keep it? Because remember we both decided we liked to be by ourselves and not have a little shit to deal with.”

A sense of motherly instinct washed over you on that last part and caused you to stand up in irritation. “I do want to keep it.”

That causes Levi to freeze in place and then suddenly throw his hands up in frustration. “Shit! I can’t deal with this right now!”

He storms out of the bedroom and you can hear the jingle of his car keys as he stomps out the front door, giving it a nice slam on his way out.

You are emotionless for a good minute before you start sobbing into your hands.

‘I guess I’m a single mom now.’

[generalkenobee]

A/N: ok so I know this probably won't get many likes or anything but I literally love Chase sm so I need to write this just for my well being because I've loved him since I was like ten, hope you enjoy 💖🩷

Warnings: sfw and nsfw headcannons, aged up!!!, FEM reader (kinda)

SFW headcannons

•hand holding is such a must with him

•he gives the best hugs, especially when he's in his black sweatpants and sleep sweater because everything is just so warm and gentle

•hes insanely touch starved

•Chase has never had a partner before you so you have to be patient with him, for example

-(Y/N), I don't know why you asked me for help with your homework, it was super easy

He would say laughing, not realizing that he hurt your feelings because you genuinely needed help

-(Y/N), I can't hold your hand right now I'm clearly working on this

Chase would say annoyed while still looking at the screen of his computer

•after a while and some help from you he's learned that a relationship takes time and consideration

•my man lovessss your stomach, no matter the size or if you have cellulite, stretch marks, he loves it so much

•loves to kiss you everywhere, especially because the whole touch starved thing. Chase is always placing a quick kiss to your cheek while he walks by you, first thing he does in the morning and before he goes to bed is kiss you

•physically can't sleep if you're not in the bed next to him

•nicknames he calls you

-sweetheart

-baby

-honey

•whenever he writes your name he always puts a little heart next to it

•usually falls asleep with his head resting on your chest with steady breathing

•loves to have you run your fingers through his hair while he falls asleep and scratch his scalp

•loves when you kiss all his moles and freckles, just basic beauty marks because it shows that you love every part of him

•he gets incredibly jealous of everyone. He's not used to people picking him and genuinely wanting to be with him over Adam for example

•always has mints, gum, or breath, spray on hand

•he takes extra precautions before seeing you (brushing his hair four times, showing twice, brushing his teeth over and over again, making sure hes wearing an outfit he'll know you'll like)

•soooo good with kids

NSFW headcannons

•lovessss when you pull his hair

•so loud, like soooo insanely loud. Moans, groans, and when he gets close whimpers

•he loves when you cockwarm him while he plays video games or when he's working on something

•eye contact while he trusts up into you, it's almost like his way of thanking you for being so vulnerable with him

•things chase says during sex

-s-shit..you feel so warm..s-so welcoming baby..

-this all for me?

-thank you thank you thank you..

-I love you so much...

-its so deep..I-I can feel all of you...

•chase tries not to ever cuss, he thinks there's smarter words to use..but when he's close it's like a whole new person

-f-fuck..fucking shit baby I'm oh my god I'm gonna, aungh..

•this one time you let spike fuck you and chase got upset because he didn't remember any of it, and he also felt jealous for some reason?

•sometimes when you walk by, you'll slap him on the ass through his jeans and he jumps up in fear every time

•lightly grazes his teeth over your neck during sex and you can feel his hot breath against your pulse..

•I feel like he really wants to cum on your face but is way to scared to ask

I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY ABOUT HIM SO IF YOU HAVE A REQUEST PLEASE SEND IT IN:)))

[aswefindourwayback]

I love you, I’m sorry

Authors note: this is my most vulnerable piece of writing that I’ve ever shared since it’s taken inspiration from some terrible moments in my life. So it’s not my best piece of writing. Feedback is always appreciated.

Word count: 2071

Content warning: mentions of poor mental health, angst

you’ve never been able to keep people in your life, no matter how hard you tried. you would always change parts of you to fit other people’s wants and needs but it was still never enough. it got so bad that you were having thoughts about ending it all, thinking it’d be easier for everyone around you. they wouldn’t have to deal with your bullshit anymore and they could finally breathe again. but you instead threw yourself into your work.

you were already good at your job, but you quickly became the best. your work became your life. you stopped seeing and talking to your friends because you got so caught up in your work.

after years of working your ass off, you found yourself as a profiler for the FBI. you were now a member of the BAU. it took some getting used to and learning how to socialize but you got the hang of it. you guys were cracking case after case. you got along with all your coworkers and you guys often had fun together. you really loved all the laughs and good times you had with them, even outside of office hours. like that one time Emily, jj, and Penelope invited you out to go shopping and get dinner. it was something you were terrified of doing, getting closer to people and getting out amid socializing again, but you did it and found that it wasn’t as bad as you’d made it out to be in your head.

but there was one who you really got along with. spence. when you guys first met, you were both a bit shy and timid. but with time, you two grew incredibly close, always going to each other for anything and everything. and over time you fell for him, without meaning to. you knew it would complicate not only work but your friendship with him. your friendship with him means the world to him and you don’t know what you’d do if you lost him, so you kept your feelings to yourself. until one day, you didn’t.

it had been a normal day when rossi had called you into his office to talk about some case details. after going over the details and correcting him a few times, he asked you something:

“so, when are you gonna tell him?”

“what? tell who what?” you asked, completely lost in the conversation.

“reid. when are you gonna tell him how you feel?”

“spencer? what do i feel for him?” you said trying to play stupid. but it was rossi, he could see straight through you.

“Dont play dumb, kid.”

You slouched your shoulders in defeat, “no, i’m not gonna tell him.”

“Why not?”

“there’s a millions reasons to stay quiet”

“but there’s a million reasons to tell him too. don’t be afraid y/n.”

“easy for you to say. you’re not the one confessing your feelings”

“but i’ve done it a million times, kid. trust me. what if something good comes from this?”

“what if i ruin the one good thing in my life?”

“you won’t”

“how do you know that?”

“i just do.”

“what if it’s not the right time? like we’ve got that new case coming up and spence has been through some awful shit recently.”

“there’s never a “right time”. you just gotta do it.”

“i never intended to fall for him.”

“feelings are something we can’t control.”

“fuck. i’m gonna do it.” you say walking out of rossi’s office. the last thing you hear is rossi calling out to you “good luck, kid! not that you need the luck.”

-=+=-

you waited until the work day was over cause you didn’t want to make it very awkward in case you were rejected, which would very likely happen according to your calculations (you tend to distort your brain and imagine that the worst will happen for any situation). the odds of you being rejected were quite high so, you were just taking safety precautions. and if he still ended up rejecting you, you had it all planned. you would transfer to another branch. it’s not the best plan but you never claimed to be the brightest.

most of the team had already left for the day, so it was just you and spence standing waiting for the elevator, just talking about the paperwork you guys had worked on today. the elevator dinged, indicating it had arrived and the doors opened.

as you two stepped in, you took in a deep breathe and faced spencer.

“hey” you’d said.

“hey” he said, smiling shyly.

“so i’m gonna tell you something and i need you to let me finish before you say anything.”

“alright, i’m listening.”

“spence, i really like you, i mean really like you, so go ahead and reject me. i'm a big girl, i can take it. also you don’t have to say anything now.” you said at lightning speed, squeezing your eyes shut, afraid to look at him.

“y/n?” he asked as you felt his finger lightly lift your chin up.

“open your eyes, y/n”

you did as he said.

“i have something to tell you too.” he admitted, dropping his hand from your chin and shoving them into his pockets. your eyebrows were scrunched up a bit, hopeful of what his response would be, “i’ve never felt a connection with anyone before like this. I know that’s not surprising considering my awkwardness around people and my need to always correct people when they’re wrong and the fact that I shove myself into my job so much but i’ve dreamt of kissing you and feeling like i was on cloud 9. i started to notice when morgan kept calling me out for always watching you. and then i kept having dreams about you. not like any weird or sexual dreams or anything. just dreams where we hung out. just being near you. but i definitely want to see how this goes.”

“oh thank fuck” you said letting out an exasperated breathe.

that had made you both laugh. you felt like so much weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

“so” spence has started, exaggerating the length of the word.

“so”

“do you wanna like, hang out now? we could go get a drink or something. or if you want to wait and stuff then we can do that.” he’d said, almost stumbling over his words.

“id love to get a drink, spence.” you smiled at him.

and he smiled back.

at the bar, you two mostly forgot about your drinks and basket of fries as you were so caught up in each others company. you spent the night talking and laughing. you laugh so much, you were sure you were going to have abs in the morning. you’d never felt so happy. he made you forget about all your worries. he was unbelievably amazing that it was hard for you to believe that he existed and that he liked you back.

you two stayed until the bar almost closed for the night. he walked you home and you two kept talking on the walk. once you two had reached your door, you stood in front of him, not wanting the night to end.

“thanks for the drinks. i had a great time.” you said to him

“thanks for joining me. i had a great time too. um, do you think we could keep this on the down low for now? i don’t want everyone breathing down our necks at work and stuff. and i just wanna enjoy us for a bit.”

“yeah, of course. i’ll see you at work tomorrow. goodnight, spence.” you said as you walked up to him and kissed him on the cheek, making both your cheeks turn bright red.

“goodnight, y/n”

-=+=-

the past few months have been amazing. you and spence have been doing amazing as a team, not just at work. so many nights were spent together, either in complete silence or going on stupid late night adventures aka going down to the gas station across the street from your apartment to get snacks. you were so grateful for him and you were head over heels for him. you never thought you could feel this way for someone. you guys had of course had some ups and downs, mostly due to you and your mental health but you always got through it together, and for that you were forever grateful. he was different to anyone you’d ever met. he actually wanted to learn about the things you struggle with and wanted to learn what were ways he could help you. and after a really bad episode, you helped you breathe and told you he’d stay with you no matter what battles you two would have to face, cause he knew in the end, you two would end up the winners. it was insane to think someone so amazing would be able to love the mess you are, but he somehow does.

until he started to distance himself. it started after a specific incident when you had said something that came off wrong when he’d already had a bad day. after that, you could see it in the way he would interact with you. his speech and body language had changed towards you. his messages became a lot drier, even if you were verbally talking, he’d seem so disinterested, it was disheartening. you wanted to fix things but you didn’t know how. so you decided to arrange a nice little date night for the both of you, so you could show him how much you loved him and to talk things out. you even wrote down a little letter to tell him how grateful you are for him.

when you entered the office to tell him about the plan, he was on the phone so you waited behind him, waiting for the call to end. you didn’t mean to but you eavesdropped a bit, he seemed like his old happy self when he was on the phone, and you overheard a name, “maeve”.

you decided to walk away cause the call seemed to be taking a while. you walked towards morgan’s desk, where he was sitting and talking to pen.

“hey, what’s going on with you?” morgan had asked as soon as you walked up.

“nothing much, just waiting for spence to finish his call so i can talk to him about something.”

“oh yeah, he’s been on his phone a lot lately.” morgan had said.

“really? do you know why?”

“there’s this girl named maeve that he’s been talking about nonstop. he seems really infatuated with her, it’s nice to see him this way.” pen had said.

it was at that moment that all those bad feelings came back. your heart felt as if it was being grabbed out of your chest, just to be bitten into and shredded to pieces.

“i gotta go.” was all you said before you walked away from morgan’s desk.

you walked over to your desk and grabbed your stuff before walking to rossi’s office door and telling him you were leaving early.

“you alright, kid?”

“yeah, i just forgot something.” you said as you spread the fakest smile on your face.

you walked out the office and looked back at spence, hoping he’d walk after you to check on you. but he was so caught up in his phone call that he didn’t notice you leave.

you walked out to your car trying to keep the tears at bay. you ripped up the letter you’d written for him.

was it all a lie?

did he really mean those things he said to you?

was he playing you the whole time?

or did he just change his mind?

you messed up again.

you made mistake after mistake and he finally got tired of you.

he was the best but you were the worst.

you’re wrong again, about being lovable, cause you’re not.

it’s the way life goes.

it’ll never end.

you felt like pink cherry blossom petals that were left on the ground. loved and cherished when in the trees, awed at when falling, then left discarded and forgotten on the ground once you were no longer attached to the thing that gave you life. always being stomped over and discarded. never to be seen or loved again. the way it’s always been and the way it’ll always be.

[restinslices]

If requests are open how abt teens lin kuei brothers x brat male reader? (Also teen)

I tried my best but I’m actually so bad at writing dom characters, it’s insane. After Bi-Han, my brain shut off. If this was a paid service, you’d need a refund gang. You said teens but I kept them as adults cause although ik minors engage in those activities aswell, I’m an adult soooooo😃

Bi-Han

Some people are probably expecting me to say some wild shit like he's the worst, he doesn't respect boundaries, he's always angry at you, doesn't listen to the safe word, ect ect. 

I don't think that's true 

Am I saying he's all soft and squishy? No. But Bi-Han is not a terrible dom. 

Bi-Han is a perfectionist so any precautions beforehand are definitely gonna be dealt with. What he wants outta this, what you want, limits, ect. 

Onto dealing with a brat though, we already know Bi-Han has a short temper so any bratty behavior would noticeably annoy him 

Smth that would guarantee a punishment would be acting out in front of other Lin Kuei or just in public. It'd be discreet enough that no one would really notice what's going on, but obvious enough that he'd know you're being a brat on purpose 

Questioning certain orders, doing things extremely slow, talking over him, the list could go on. Being bratty around people especially when he's supposed to be “professional” is the quickest way to get a punishment 

I kinda see it as a storm. You know it's coming, you see the signs, but when it happens you still go “dammit. I can't believe it's raining like this”

Does he warn you? Yes. But he only does it once. If you keep going, he mentally writes it all down 

Now Bi-Han doesn't strike me as someone who particularly likes physical touch all the time but punishments don't have to be the typical spanking or harsh fucking. He can be more creative 

I feel like he enjoys punishments that have to do with humiliation. There's so much control in telling you to do something and you just follow it. 

Very much a “ride my boot” type of guy 

The type to make you orgasm over and over again and you don't stop until he's satisfied (obviously keeping your safety and what you can take in mind though)

Takes bratty behavior seriously. He's not making funny little jokes or nothing of the sort. He's putting you in your place 

His punishments would linger. For example he'd tell you to tell him whenever you got horny and why for like, a solid week. This seems small but if you get hormonal easily, you're going up to him a lot and he's shaming you everytime. 

His arms? You're that easy? How could you even survive without him?

The best part of this is you don't have to tell him any of this. Realistically you could ignore this or not tell him every time you're hormonal, and he makes sure to taunt you and remind you of this. 

Humiliation punishments are his go to

Rewards would probably be allowing you a bit of control, like picking any toys you'll use or letting you pick the scene 

A brat would probably fit him well cause he gets to constantly put you in your place, which can be a good way to relax for him 

Kuai Liang

Is also very organized. So organized I think he'd have a secret way to tell you he's actually not in the mood or too busy for you. 

“Go take a walk” means “not right now” 

Bratty behaviors that would bother him the most I think would be doing dumb shit. Like, below average IQ type of things. 

It bothers him because you're not stupid so stop acting stupid. If he says do A, don't do B

But it's fine. You wanna play stupid? He can do that. 

I know I said Bi-Han’s punishments sometimes linger but it really ain't got shit on Kuai Liang’s

If you wanna act like you don't understand basic orders because you wanna act out, then he's gonna act like he doesn't understand anything you want. 

You say “I need you” but he goes to do something else. What's the problem? Clearly you were saying you needed him to do laundry that day. 

You say “touch me” but he touches you everywhere except where you really need him 

You could say something as clear as “please make me cum” and he'd bring you close, but would stop. Why are you upset? You didn't say what day to make you cum. You'll do it later. 

Every single request you have for him turns into something you didn't want and he watches with satisfaction as it slowly drives you insane. 

And doing other bratty behaviors to try and get a response outta him doesn't work because the more bratty you act, the longer he's gonna keep this up. He has the patience to do this too. 

This won't stop until you're on your knees begging like a madman for him to do anything to make you feel good and promising you'll behave from now on. 

And even then he's not satisfied. You have to actually show you're gonna start behaving. He won't actually give you what you want until you behave for at least a week or two straight. No problems. No complaining. No issues. 

You both know you'll act out again but for a good chunk of time, he's enjoying his peace 

Tomas Vrbada

I honestly cannot imagine this man as a dom but for you, I will try 

Tomas is a nice guy and this nice guy shit is how the problem would start 

Taunts would be the way to get to him. So when you say “can't you do better or are you too soft?” it gets to him 

Tomas’ version of punishment would be doing nothing at all. 

He's too soft? Ok. That means he's too soft to touch you, to whisper any dirty things, to tease you, ect. 

Kuai Liang is interacting with you but is doing the exact opposite, Tomas is straight up refusing to do anything. 

You can try to seduce him all you want, you're getting a smart ass “we can't do that. I'm too soft for all of that��

Legit becomes the biggest prude when it comes to doing anything with you. Has no problem touching himself and telling you you can't touch cause he “couldn't handle it”

He takes taunts literal. “I could fuck myself better”, ok then he won't touch you at all for awhile. You got it. “You could do better”, you are completely right. As a matter fact, how about he practice on himself or using a toy and making you watch. Ya know, just to have a third party to inform him if he's doing well. 

Just a real petty bitch in a cute package. 

Probably needs the most breaks when it comes to a brat though cause sometimes he's fr not tryna hear that shit and just needs someone to be there. Which is fine. 

I also imagine he’s possibly new to being a dom so this whole thing is trying shit out. He’s willing to experiment with different kind of punishments, rewards, schedules, all that shit.

When dealing with a brat Bi-Han is strict, Kuai Liang is patience and pettiness wrapped in one and Tomas is just petty 

Looking back there’s no mention of male anatomy and it’s so short. Idk why dom characters make my brain short circuit. We will attempt dom characters at a later date but for now, this is all I got.

[i-still-mask-because]

ok so i read a lot of things from other Covid conscious people about masking as community care and why it’s important to steer the conversation away from individualism, and I really do believe in that, and I worry so much about the people I see who don’t wear masks or take covid precautions

BUT i’m also absolutely petrified of developing any other health conditions because I already have several (not immune related & they don’t make me super high risk for covid) chronic pain/disabilities and i can barely deal with them as it is. & i feel like because i mask around literally everyone including housemates, there’s such a low risk of me passing anything on to other people that i don’t really need to worry about it? which only kind of makes sense so i try to check that thought when it comes up

I’m worried that my Covid precautions are just coming from a place of individualism anyways and maybe if I really cared about community care as much as i should, I wouldn’t be so focused on my own personal health?

and sometimes i feel like i’m “better” than my friends who won’t mask Anywhere (except in a car with me bc i asked them to) but if it’s all just coming from self-preservation, i worry i’m just as bad. (& obviously this is nuanced too, like i’m trying to talk to them abt this and understand their points of view in a way that makes space for them to join me in being covid-conscious but it’s arguably not accomplishing shit. too early to tell)

sorry this is very longg but basically i’m just wondering if you have any advice or thoughts on that, & how to be less individualist in my covid safety? thank u for everything you do on this blog, it means so much to me <3

Hey there 👋🏾

I don't think it's individualist if the main reason you mask is for self-preservation. There's a lot of people that are masking because they need to for their own self-preservation. And that doesn't make the choice to mask a self-centered, every-man-for-himself decision. It's just self-preservation, which is necessary. I'd rather hang out with someone that's masking because they know they cannot risk another covid infection over someone that dropped masking because, "It is what it is man, I just wanna live my life!". I think the fact that you want to survive is important, and you should give yourself credit for that. And from the outside looking in, you going out in public with a mask is community care in and of itself because there's without a doubt someone that needed the protection you're giving them.

In regards to you feeling like you're better than your friends; I honestly get it. I don't necessarily think I'm more superior than anyone for masking, but I get the feeling of feeling proud of myself for still staying strong in keeping up masking despite all the odds and alienation. And I get feeling good about being well-informed and prepared. You mentioned that you've been trying to get them on the same page as you, but it's been feeling like pulling teeth; I absolutely get how you're feeling. If you feel like this is impacting the way you perceive your friends, I think taking time to sit with and process the kind of dynamic you want with your friends could be helpful, and working from there. I wish I could suggest some covid-cautious counselors who may also understand for you to talk to, but I'm really not sure of anyone right now 😭 (if someone happens to know, please feel free to share!)

Anyone else is free to share their thoughts and suggestions, of course!

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Lol.

Yeah… the more news that comes out just confirms more of what I thought. This unnamed character who moves from HYBE to ADOR, and mere weeks later, HYBE gets a ‘tip-off’ and all the incriminating documents are in his work diaries where he narrates things MHJ has supposedly said, including that she believes that Bang establishing BTS or groups with the same cache as BTS, was him copying her…. Everything that’s found in his documents is almost clinically incendiary lmao. Like, weapons-grade rage bait. Partly because of how bizarre it is. And the sinker - they tie it to Min Heejin supposedly wanting more money. MHJ has meanwhile released another, stronger statement refuting the allegations about trying to stage a management takeover, or artists contract leaks etc.

Of course, the discourse about this is going to develop predictably, especially after the mention of BTS and other groups MHJ supposedly says copied her.

This has all the makings of one thing and only one thing, to me. It doesn’t change my opinion about Bang PD but it does make me revise my view on Min Heejin, she’s a bit more naive than I assumed her to be. I feel a bit sorry for her, because she’s been got. Again. It’s similar to the ig situation that also started with ‘a gift’ her ‘friend from SM’ gave her to congratulate her on launching ADOR - a gift that ended up being the most damning controversy that almost sunk the group. A controversy where the primary demand was for her to leave NewJeans and HYBE. Now, a ‘right-hand man’ transfers from HQ to her team and it’s his uncorroborated narrations that match what’s in the ‘tip-off’… the demands are the same.

I like MHJ, but I’ve always watched her with caution because in Korea, no woman makes it to the c-suite without making a shit tonne of enemies. Imagine it to be triple the amount a regular working class man makes on his way up the ladder, because that kind of status in Korea is something you’re either born into, or born close to. It’s rare for working class men to work their way up and even more rare for women. In fact, I’d say it’s an aberration.

I see all the flack MHJ gets for being a narcissistic bitch, wanting to constantly assert ownership of her ideas, wanting to be widely associated with her successful projects, etc. I see people irritated by her arrogance, but full disclosure, I like her for it. For several reasons, but one reason is that in her environment, the default is to let your male superiors take credit for your work. It happens in corporate environments all over the world, but in Korea it’s a mentality entrenched in the DNA. Pushing against that earns you enemies every time you speak, by default. But I suspect that’s how she worked her way up from being a graphic designer to having a seat on the board of directors at SM Entertainment before leaving when they wouldn’t give her more autonomy. So, in my eyes, she’s got spunk. But also, now I see she’s clumsy.

Oftentimes with corporate drama, there’s no point using moral language because it’s just business. You either pitched the best deal or you didn’t. You either fucked up or you didn’t. It’s cold numbers and rationality - business. But… there are some cases where it’s not really about the business, cases where it’s personal.

I don’t have meaningful insider information, I’m reading the press releases and ‘leaks’ along with everyone else, so I can’t be certain and that’s why I’m talking in this long-winded ramble without coming right out to say exactly what I think. What I’ll say though is that this is less about NewJeans and more about Min Heejin. And she’s the first person who should’ve understood that and taken necessary precautions.

Clearly, it doesn’t look like she has, and in that sense she has no one but herself to blame. She’s being stupid, in fact I’d say delusional in some ways, but I guess some things can’t be helped. NewJeans isn’t exactly fucked, but it’s clear that yet again, they are collateral damage. And it’s a shame.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM HITMAN: WORLD OF ASSASSINATION *  assorted dialogue from the video game, adjust as necessary

majestic, isn't it?

someone knows about us.

we received your message. loud and clear, might i add.

i dare say the possibilities are endless.

the situation... it's complicated.

this could be dangerous, and i thought you deserved to know. so... now you know.

in his own special way, he cares about you... and vice versa.

i didn't catch your name.

that's for you. keep it on you at all times.

i have seen the consequences. i have felt the cost. that's what defines me.

none of you are safe anymore.

someone's been meddling in our affairs.

that's why we're hiring you to take him down.

if it seems like a conspiracy, it probably isn't.

i hope you know what you just did.

does it matter? i was told there'd be no second chances.

anyone can kill.

get out of my sight.

they sent me here to spy on him.

don't believe everything you hear.

very well. it's your show.

look, i'm not an asshole. of course i'm concerned.

so what happens now?

you do catch on fast.

i want us to meet. your room.

all right. consider it done.

i think technology hates me.

you can't be trusted.

i have found that whoever wields the sword decides who holds the pen.

smile, [name]. your reputation is safe.

there are no second chances. not here.

maybe i'm not the only one being tested.

i read your case file. impressive work.

do you realize what kind of world you've been shaping?

i'm [name], i'll take you to your quarters.

someone likes to keep secrets.

they kept you alive because they needed you and now they don't.

that part is my job.

when we need you, we will contact you.

i don't care which of you does it. it's mandatory.

he did not, however, factor me into the equation.

you're not a superhero. they don't exist.

for sure. i'll keep an eye out.

you did well, [name], i'm proud of you.

i followed you from italy.

that... is your target.

powerful men have fallen by your hand. but by the same token, others have risen.

knowing your enemy is only half the victory.

secrets are our stock-in-trade.

shit. still no answer.

i think we could help each other.

i think i'm in. but i want to be clear on a few details.

from what i hear, you have a few of your own.

i'm not like you, in case you're wondering.

if they can bend the rules, then so can i.

that's not a name.

you know the expression "know your enemy?"

tell me. what did it feel like, taking lives?

is that why you came here? why you let us test you?

i should leave you to prepare.

are you sure about this?

i don't believe it. i took every precaution.

all agents have weak spots.

give me a chance, [name].

our team found no records of any kind. no name, nothing.

are you still determined?

may i inquire why?

at first glance, an impossible task. then again, i do know how you love a challenge.

we will be watching.

how is this our problem?

i wish i had been informed.

people die, [name]. it happens all the time, even to us.

there is no sign of forced entry. no alarms. nothing.

in the meantime, keep him under close watch.

perhaps i see possibility where others see limitation.

now you will do the same.

i play dirty. that's how you defeat a stronger opponent. you strike from behind.

well, this is just fabulous, isn't it?

good. i'll be upstairs.

this was no coincidence.

i should tell you, the trail went dead after romania.

you're making us look bad.

this is the universe's way of telling you to quit, to get out of the game while you still can.

can i offer you a drink?

i thought they were a myth.

someone's playing a game, [name]. the question is... against whom?

we can't allow ourselves to be manipulated.

so... what are we actually doing here?

i just pulled some strings.

i thought that was the point?

i will take full responsibility.

vary your strategy. improvise.

i can't believe we beat him at his own game.

his death will not be investigated.

i know you don't care about politics.

i guess when you're invisible, you stop looking over your shoulder.

[chl-owo-e]

heyy could you do fem reader and spencer with promt 5? i want to protect him all the time lmao

ME TOO! HES BAEBIE AND NEED PROTECTION ALL TIMES DJFJDJDNDN

———————————————————————

〔Protection〕

(Spencer Reid x Protective! Reader)

Warnings; Fluff, Angst? (Idk if u can call it that) basic Criminal Minds shit,

5.) I will protect you until my last breath

~Check out the promt list~

———————————————————————

—The whole BAU team was out on a case back at Texas. Where there were serial kidnappings with a group of people. Most being male and maybe two or three being female. When the team figured out what was the reason why they were taking children they immediately ran out to one of the holding places that was listed on the paper Garcia gave them.

Now Y/n was in the black SUV with Morgan and Spencer as they went over the case trying to reassure themselves that the kids were ok. Once the car came to a screeching halt everyone speedily opened the doors and ran straight towards the entrance of the weird wooden shed like building that was surrounded by a wooded area. While Hotch and the rest of the team met them soon after. “This place looks too small to hold 13 kids.” Spencer tells the group as Hotch commands the police force to search the perimeter.

“There has to be another place, maybe a different area they’re being held.” JJ adds with confusion written on her face. “Theres not, I know theres not. I can feel it in my gut, they’re here.” You say with pure confidence. “Morgan, kick the lock in.” Hotch orders him with his normal scorn on his face. Emily and Spencer stand away from the doors with their guns out for precaution. Morgan was the first to see that there was a stairway in the middle of the small shed.

He looks back towards Hotch with concern all over his face. “Lets go.” Hotch says and follows Morgan, Emily and, JJ down the steps. You stop Spencer for a second. “Stand behind me at all times ok Spence? I cant have you getting hurt or killed even.” Your voice comes out with worry. “I know, I know, Ill be safe, come on we dont have a lot of time.” Spencer groans out in annoyance.

Now the two of you were tailing the group, following the loud clears everyone has been yelling out. With Spencer trailing behind you, the both of you check out the dark room. With your gun pointed forward you continue as your flashlight lightens up certain parts of the room. A bash to the back of your head happens quick. Too quick for you to react and fight back.

Everything happened so fast, the handle of the gun digging into your skull. The fact that the guy had faster reflexes than Spencer could react. Soon the sound of a gun shot filled the room. Next was Spencer calling out your name and finally tackling the guy. You were currently gripping your right shoulder in pain, too focused on not passing out you barely notice the rest of your group running in and capturing the guy. Hotch and Spencer were crouching next to you. Hotch was yelling through his walkie-talkie for a ambulance and Spencer was putting all his focus on placing pressure on the wound.

Your mouth opens with your voice barely audible. “I didn’t even see him.” You coughed and groaned. “Y/n stop talking!” Spencer panics as he puts more pressure on the wound. “You know I love you right?” Tears were at the brink of your eyes. Everything felt hot, then cold, and all of a sudden it was black. “Y/n…?Hey, Y/n.” Spencers heart drops, you weren’t awake your pulse is shallow and your face is pale. Spencer didn’t want to lose you, he cant lose you.

Your blood was all over him during the whole ride to the hospital. He was basically soaked to the neck down. Spencer sat in the very uncomfortable chair next to your bed with you lying in it. The doctors said you had a very slim chance of making it, but Spencer was holding onto that strand like it was the last thing he ever knew. He gently held onto your cold hands looking at every detail, taking everything in.

“Like I said, Ill protect you until my last breath.”

Spencers head snaps towards the groggily voice. “Y/n! Youre ok! Oh my god, ok- uhhh.” Spencer panics having no idea what to do next. “Water, please?” You whine, and he gladly hands you a cup. You scarf down the whole thing as Spencer rambles about what happened when you got shot. You never seen him like that, never so all over the place with his mind racing. Even though he’s always all over the place this was different.

“Wait- let me get a nurse or a doctor and tell them you’re awake.”

———————————————————————

AN; this is unedited and ik there are probably parts where it doesn’t make sense but i just wanted to post something before i go to sleep

[whumpy-wyrms]

The Last Lab Rat #2: Let Me Go

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content: lab whump, captivity, gender dysphoria, failed escape attempt, needles, drugging, begging, test subject whumpee, defiant whumpee, trans whumpee, intimate whumper

—

Dew woke up the next morning still cooped up under the bed. He would’ve almost thought he was somewhere else, that the events of yesterday were just a terrible dream, if it weren’t for the blinding fluorescent lights peaking through the blanket. His room at home was almost always dark, with his roommates respecting Dew’s sensory sensitivity.

He had spent the rest of yesterday hiding, terrified, under the bed while Anton would creep in the room once in a while to give him food and water. The scientist had tried to reason with Dew, but he ignored his fucked up attempt at comfort. Anton hadn’t tried to make Dew do anything else that day, giving him the space he needed to accept his new life as a test subject.

But Dew wouldn’t just accept something like that, he would find a way out of here, soon enough. He’d go back to his normal life, and this would all soon feel like a bad dream.

Dew heard those familiar footsteps heading towards his room and sighed. He didn’t feel like talking to people today. He heard the lock click and door open, and he pulled the blanket around himself more.

“Alright, Dew,” Anton swiftly walked to Dew’s bed and crouched down, moving the blanket from over Dew’s face. “It’s a new day, up and at ‘em.”

“What day is it?” Dew groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. He never was much of a morning person.

“Sunday.” Great, so Dew had been stuck here for over a full day now. He had work tomorrow. Shit. He couldn’t get fired, rent was due soon. What was he going to do?

“When are you gonna let me go?” Dew mumbled, retreating further under the bed, wishing he could fall back asleep.

“Aw,” Anton cooed. “It seems you still don’t understand. You’re not leaving this place, you’re my test subject now. There’s no getting around this, Dew, it’d be much easier if you accepted that.” No way was Dew gonna just throw his life away just because this freak told him to.

“Where are my headphones?”

“Gone. Though you might get to listen to music if you behave.”

“J-Just leave me alone,” Dew gritted through his teeth, snatching the blanket out of Anton’s grasp and curling up even smaller.

“I left you alone all day yesterday, like you asked. But its been long enough, you’ve had plenty of time to process everything. Come on out, Dew, we have to start the day, we have work to do.”

“No. G-Go away.”

“Dew, why are you making everything so hard for me?”

“Because I hate you,” Dew spat.

“You’re my test subject, you’re going to have to learn to do as I say.” The scientist’s voice turned cold and icy, much more demanding, in a way that was terrifying to Dew. “Either come on out from under there willingly, or I’ll inject you with another sedative and drag you out.”

Dew complied silently, because, well, he was scared of Anton. He had been absolutely terrified ever since he woke up in this hell hole, and he knew it’d only get worse from here if he kept not doing what he was told.

Dew stood up and set his blanket on the bed, glaring up at Anton in front of him. Anton tossed the hospital gown at him, and told him to put it on. Dew shook his head, he wasn’t letting this guy force him what to wear, even if he was terrified of what would happen to him.

“Just put it on. You don’t want me to sedate you, do you?”

Dew let out a choked sob at the thought. Anton was terrifying right now. Despite wanting to have some control of what happens to him, his fear of needles overrode all of his rationality. “F-fine. I’ll do it.” Dew clutched the hospital gown in his hands and walked towards the bathroom door, but stopped when he felt a weight on his ankle. Dew looked at the chain, and then glared at Anton, expectantly.

“It’s just a precaution,” Anton stated, rolling his eyes.

“I can’t go into the bathroom and take off my clothes if there’s a chain around my ankle,” Dew hissed, he fought his urge to curse Anton out. That’d probably do more harm than good.

“Oh.” Anton removed the cuff and let Dew go into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

This was it. Fuck, Dew hated this. It’d been who knows how long- maybe over a full day- and he hadn’t taken off his binder. He sure as hell won’t now, being forced to wear this thing. He didn’t know how long he could take it, he knew it was unhealthy, but he did not want to come out to Anton any time soon. He didn’t know anything about him, much less how he’d react to such a thing.

After about ten minutes of complete silence from the room, Anton was beginning to lose his patience in his new test subject. “Dew? What’s taking so long?”

Anton heard a quiet, mumbled response that he couldn’t make out, and Dew exited the bathroom, clutching his clothes to his chest.

“Great, thanks,” Anton said with a hint of annoyance in his voice as he reached for Dew’s clothes.

“W-wait,” Dew flinched away. “What are you doing? These are my clothes!”

“Not anymore.” Anton snatched them from Dew’s arms, cuffed the chain back on Dew’s ankle, and walked out of the room. Just like that, he was alone again.

The hospital gown wasn’t all bad, it could’ve been worse. It didn’t have a weird texture, any loose tags, and he never had a problem wearing dresses or skirts. He much preferred baggy clothes, though, and he knew he should not be wearing his binder for this long. He needed to find a way out of this place soon.

Dew wasn’t alone for long, Anton came back into his room a few minutes later carrying food and some rope. That couldn’t be good.

“I’ll show you around the lab today,” Anton said. “You can ask all the questions that I’m sure have been floating around that silly little head of yours, and I might even answer some of them. Sound good?” Anton handed Dew the bowl of ramen, and was happy when he started eating it right away this time.

“Um, what’s that for?” Dew asked as he ate, gesturing to the rope in Anton’s hands.

“It’s just a precaution,” Anton said. When Dew was done eating, Anton reached out and took his test subject’s wrists, “for my safety.” Anton tightened his grasp as Dew started to struggle.

“Let go!” Dew exclaimed. Anton glared at him and started tying his wrists together. Dew couldn’t believe how strong this man was, he hadn’t noticed before, but it felt almost superhuman. Dew remembered Anton saying something about conducting some experiments on himself. Dew wondered if he had somehow made himself stronger? Was that possible? The thought that Anton might be superhuman levels of powerful from all his experiments made Dew shudder.

“There we go,” Anton smiled proudly once he was done, ignoring Dew’s grimace as he patted his cheek. The scientist then went to remove the chain attached to Dew’s ankle, and he followed Anton out of the room.

This was the first time Dew had been in the lab, and it was terrifying. He felt exposed, vulnerable and defenseless. Like a mouse in an open field waiting for a bird to fly down and snatch him up. He missed his baggy hoodie. He always liked wearing oversized clothes while hiding in a dark quiet room, it was comforting to him. Now he was completely out in the open, bright lights shining in his eyes and with hardly anything covering him.

He had nothing to protect him, either. Not with his hands tied. Anton could do whatever he wanted to Dew here and he had no way of stopping him.

They walked around for a bit, Anton explaining various strange devices or experiments he was working on. It all felt so surreal, like this was all a bad dream or a weird movie.

“So, new test subject, any questions?” Anton asked, looking down at Dew with a smirk on his face. Dew hated how much smaller he was then this man. And Anton’s stare was incredibly unnerving.

“I…” Dew tried to ignore his crippling nervousness, but he was scared of this place. Everything around him looked like it could kill him instantly, or at least torture him to the point he wished he was dead. He was overwhelmed by it all. “Why am I here?” He whispered, trying to hold back tears.

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Dew.” Anton didn’t seem to notice Dew’s obvious distress. “I told you already, a few times now, remember?”

“Y-yeah, but what does being a ‘test subject’ even mean?” Dew asked. Anton smiled down at him, menacingly. “W-what do you want with me?”

“Now that’s a good question!” Anton said, looking oddly excited now. Dew gulped, that couldn’t be a good sign. “There’s a lot of experiments I’ve been needing to conduct that I’ve been unable to do on myself. I don’t want to reveal too much— surprises are fun, you know?— but most of it will consist of testing the limits of how far the human body can change before becoming completely inhuman. I also wanna focus on the key to immortality, but I’m not too worried about that right now. Gotta get you used to what your life’s gonna be like here first, before making it never ending, right?”

Dew stared at his hands bound in front of him. His heart was racing and his thoughts were drifting to terrible places, all while Anton’s unnerving eyes were still on him. As if he was staring directly into his soul.

Dew realized he couldn’t stay here any longer with this freak, and he was going to escape today. He just had to take it slow, plan it out and take a chance while he was still in the lab. Who knew if he’d ever be this unrestrained here again. Even with his hands bound, his legs weren’t. He could still run, he could still use doorknobs.

Dew had to calm his breathing and ignore everything Anton had just told him. If he just distracted himself, got his mind off of his impending doom, he’d figure out a way to escape once he’d calmed down.

“W-What’s all this stuff?” Dew asked, changing the subject, as they walked past a strange shelf. It was full of beakers filled with weird looking liquids and chemicals Dew didn’t know the name of, but he could tell they were dangerous.

“Oh!” Anton hopped excitedly at this, going to the shelf and picking up one of the vials. “These are concoctions I made as an experiment! I made this one just a few months ago, it makes the heart beat acid instead of blood, burning whoever drinks it from the inside out.” Anton reached for another vial, unable to contain his excitement. “And this one is what I’m most proud of, it has sort of a super healing effect. It can make an injury that’s supposed to take months to heal, only last a few days. Isn’t it cool? I’ve used this the most when I used to experiment on myself, it definitely will come in handy for you, too.”

Dew swallowed the lump in his throat, a sense of dread pooling inside of him. He silently nodded his head, looking for something else to change the subject to. Anton followed his gaze to some deadly looking device.

“That’s my mind reading contraption. It reads your thoughts, although it is super painful. Wanna try it out?”

Dew frantically shook his head. He did not feel like having his entire unplanned escape plan exposed to this maniac. Who knew what he would do to him then.

“Suit yourself,” Anton shrugged. Before he could give Dew a chance to say anything— not like he was going to anyway— he walked away from his test subject again to info-dump about more of his dangerous and weird experiments. He didn’t stop grinning the whole time, like Dew was the first person he’d ever talked about his passion to. Dew thought it was weird, like Anton was just talking to a good friend and not someone he kidnapped the day before.

Dew tried to focus on what his captor was saying, as he described various scientific torture devices to him, without bursting into tears. Anton didn’t seem to take notice, going over his collection of shock collars, paralyzing laser guns, and deadly venomous spider robots like it was just a normal day for him.

Anton also didn’t seem to mind Dew being eerily silent the whole time. He probably thought he was just being a polite listener, and not planning any way to escape this place as soon as physically possible.

The times Dew did talk to ask Anton questions about himself, Anton interrupted him and started talking about more science stuff again, completely oblivious to Dew’s ever growing terror, and leaving all his questions unanswered.

“Tell me about yourself, Dew.” Anton asked out of the blue, after explaining in depth about some weird type of poisonous plant he had to keep locked in a cage.

“Um,” Dew looked up at him, surprised. He didn’t feel like talking, but after seeing all that stuff, he did not feel like making Anton angry right now. Any wrong move in front of this man and Dew felt like he’d be the next victim of those weird human eating plants from earlier. “Wh-what do you wanna know?”

“Anything, though your medical records would be useful. Your health history, if you’re on any meds, what you’re allergic to, stuff like that. It’ll all be useful to me later.”

“Oh.” Dew decided he’d talk about the bare minimum, ignoring the fact he’s supposed to take his T shot today. “I’m 22, uh, I don’t think I’m allergic to anything besides peanuts? I have glasses, obviously. I broke my arm when I was six from a trampoline accident… I uh, have anxiety and I’m on meds for that, if you care.”

“Anything else?” Anton kept smiling. He never seemed to stop. It shook Dew to his core.

“Can’t you just like, find my medical records yourself or something? Why are you asking me about this stuff? You know where I live, you kidnapped me, you could get all the information you need if you really wanted to.”

“I want you to tell me yourself, I want you to be able to trust me.” Well that was most definitely not going to happen.

“I won’t trust you, ever. You kidnapped me and- and are telling me you’re gonna experiment on me!” Dew cried. “I don’t wanna be a lab rat, I wanna go home!” Anton sighed. Why wasn’t his test subject listening to him?

“Dew, I told you this already, there’s nothing you can do to get out of this. You’re my test subject now. This is your home now. You’ll never leave, and I’ll never let you go. You’ll learn to accept this one day, hopefully soon. It’d make things much more easier for the both of us, trust me.”

Dew stayed silent as Anton kept showing him around. He couldn’t stop his racing heart, he fought to stop the urge to just run to the exit, but he knew he had to be smart about his escape.

The two of them continued walking while Anton talked more about science nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t just told Dew his life was basically over.

As they started walking towards that scary operating table Dew saw from the window yesterday, his heartbeat quickened and he gasped in shallow breaths. No way was he letting Anton strap him down to that thing.

Dew gulped when Anton turned to look at him after he stopped in his tracks. Dew stared wide eyed at the large metal table, covered with different types of restraints and straps, and even claw marks. Dew thought he noticed dried blood on the floor next to it, before his gaze was turned to the tools that were littered atop the tray next to it. Saws, knives, scalpels, and-

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder. Finally, Anton sensed Dew’s fear and terror, and stood in front of him, crouching to his eye level.

“Dew, are you okay?”

“N-no, no.” Dew whispered, chest heaving as he felt himself crumble.

“What’s wrong? Are you scared?”

“Y- yes?” How could anyone not be scared in this situation? Dew didn’t understand this guy, was he playing dumb just to humiliate him?

“Wh— ohh.” Anton followed Dew’s gaze. “That- yeah. That’s the table where I perform all my vivisections. But don’t worry though, I don’t think you’d be any use for that. But I’d get used to the sight if I were you, you’re going to end up restrained to that thing a lot.” Anton chuckled to himself, not seeming to notice- or care- about the tears streaking down his test subject’s face.

“Here, follow me, I’ll show you more of my experiments- so you know what to expect.” Anton grabbed Dew’s wrist as he glared at him, and dragged him in a different direction.

Dew stopped in his tracks. That’s it, he had had enough. There was no way he was going to listen to this mad scientist any longer, he had to get out of here. He ignored the urge to break down crying and quickly wiped his tears, and tried to think. Halfway through one of Anton’s rants earlier, Dew had noticed the scientist’s keys in his lab coat pocket.

“Dew? Come on, I gotta show you—”

“What does this thing do?” He knew the exit was locked, so he had to find a way to get the keys himself. Dew gestured to a small cage with a key hole, housing a weird blob of slime. Anton followed his gaze, and his face once again lit up in delight, grabbing his keys from his pocket and unlocking the cage.

Anton talked about more stuff, mainly the slime monsters he made. Dew wasn’t keeping track anymore, the keys were right there, sitting on the counter next to the open cage. Anton was completely distracted talking to him— or more accurately himself— about his experiment, playing with the blob of living slime in his hands, that he didn’t notice Dew slowly inching closer to the counter. Closer to the keys.

Dew took a deep breath. It was now or never, Anton looked like he was getting bored. He’d change the subject soon, and then his chance to grab the keys would be over.

Dew looked to the shelf behind him, housing some of those vials of acid from earlier. That was a good idea, he needed a distraction, a way to buy him some time. He knew he wouldn’t be able to outrun the scientist just by himself.

Dew took one last look at his captor, still infatuated by one of his own experiments. Then, he elbowed the shelf behind him, knocking off a few vials and spilling chemicals all over Anton and his slime monster, giving Dew time to snatch the keys from the counter.

“Hey!” Anton exclaimed, clearly enraged. Dew stared at him, like a deer caught in the headlights. He stared at Dew, not processing his slime monster and the rest of the chemicals melting into his lab coat, until he screamed in agony, tearing his intimidating gaze from his test subject.

Then Dew bolted. He ran as fast as he could through the lab, being careful not to trip over anything with his arms still tied. He heard the scientist curse, some things shuffling around, and then his footsteps running after him.

Dew was never much of a fast runner, but he was fueled purely on adrenaline and fear now. This was his only chance to escape.

Dew made it to the exit and frantically turned the knob. As he expected, it was locked. He fumbled through the keys and held one up to the door. It didn’t work, but he kept trying one after the other until the door swung open and he bolted through. He raced up the spiral stairs, hearing the angry calls and footsteps behind him. He realized this lab was probably quite a long way underground, but he didn’t care. He kept running until he reached another door.

His heart pounded, this door was locked too. But only for a moment because this time, the first key Dew tried worked, and he was met with the outside.

He didn’t waste a second, even if it was pouring rain and there was mud all over the grass. Even if he looked to be in the middle of a densely packed forest, with no civilization in sight. Even if he wasn’t wearing any shoes, and his socks got soaked with mud. Even if he was in the middle of fucking nowhere. He still ran, tears flowing down his cheeks in victory and hope.

Though, unfortunately for Dew, he only made it a few yards away before Anton caught up with him. He felt a sharp pang in his neck, and moved his hands up to feel a tranquilizer dart.

His stomach dropped when he realized what that meant. He’d been caught. He didn’t end up running that much farther when he slipped in a mud puddle, drenched in rain and mud.

“Shit!” Dew cried, hope dwindling as he started scrambling away from the footsteps coming closer. Rain poured down on him, blurring his glasses and his eyes filled with tears, making it hard to look for an escape.

He looked around in terror when he realized he didn’t have the strength to get up, and saw Anton slowly approaching him, tranquilizer gun in hand. Dew sobbed uncontrollably, chest heaving as his captor walked closer.

“There you are,” Anton snarled. Dew had never been this afraid in his life. Who knew what this mad scientist would do to him now, with all those torture devices in his lab. “Look at the mess you made.”

Dew cried, curling into himself, too scared to look at Anton, who’s lab coat had chunks of it burned with slime and acid. He didn’t care that his entire body and clothes were covered in mud. He didn’t care that his hair was soaked in his eyes, covering his devastated face with tears streaking down his cheeks.

Dew just wanted to go home.

“P-please, ju-just let me go! Pl-please!”

“No can do,” Anton reached his hand towards his test subject. “Come on, let’s get you back in the lab.”

“Nono no no p-please! Pl-please don’t hurt me! I wanna go home!” Anton ignored his test subject’s desperate pleads and grabbed his ankle, dragging the little thing towards him.

Dew tried to kick out, to struggle, but he was far too weak. He remembered the night he was kidnapped, how familiar this felt. He remembered the tranquilizer dart, and the needles, and everything else Anton could do to him, and he kept crying out, sobbing into the rain, for anyone to help him.

“There’s nobody out here for miles,” Anton said, doing nothing to muffle Dew’s screams. “Save your breath.” Dew took one last look at the dark, clouded sky, knowing it would probably be a long time before he could see it again. And then he was lifted up and sprung over the scientist’s shoulder, carrying him back down to his torment.

. . .

Anton didn’t expect his test subject to attempt an escape so soon, and would surely use this experience to make more precautionary measures to ensure this doesn’t happen again.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but feel bad for the guy. He was struggling to accept his new life, that’s all. Anton knew what that felt like.

Dew was already dozing off once they got to his room. Anton had set him down in a wooden chair and started talking to him, though all Dew heard was muffled sounds accompanied with cloudy vision. He couldn’t make out what his captor was saying to him, or where he was. His eyelids drooped and his body slumped forward, he felt like he was going to fall until he felt hands on his shoulders, and a new injection in his neck.

“Owww—” Dew hissed, looking around the spinning room until his eyes landed on his captor. He was becoming more alert all of a sudden, his eyes going wide in fear when he noticed the syringe Anton was holding.

“Relax, it’s just the antidote for that tranquilizer dart. I don’t think you could hear a word I was saying.”

“Oh.” Dew became acutely aware of the situation he was in again, and brought his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself. This wouldn’t be good. He tried to escape, what was going to happen to him now? “P-Please, I… Please don’t hurt me.”

“Why’d you run?” Anton demanded. He was scary as fuck like this, but Dew lied anyway.

“I…I-I wanted to go outside…?”

“That’s not what you said out there.”

“I…” Dew looked up pleadingly, he surly ruined his chances of escaping any time soon. But he couldn’t accept defeat. “I-I need the sun, and fresh air, y’know? A-And uh, I need exercise. I’m a person, I can’t be cooped up in this room all the time, it’s suffocating.” He hoped his words were convincing, but he doubted it.

“Don’t lie to me, Dew.” Anton said, grabbing Dew’s face and forcing him to make eye contact, nails digging into his skin. “Why did you try to escape?”

“I just— I w-want to g-go home,” Dew couldn’t stop his tears, and he flinched away when Anton’s thumb wiped them away. “I c-can’t take it anymore. M-My friends will be looking for me soon a-and I d-don’t… I just w-want to go home. Please.”

“Dew,” Anton said, voice filled with a sickeningly sweet tone. “What do I have to do to get this through your head? You’re never leaving this place. I’m a scientist, I have ways to make you disappear without a trace, and make sure people don’t even start looking for you to begin with. Forget about home, because this is it now. Hey, don’t look at me like that. It won’t be all bad, I won’t let you die here, you know.”

“But I- please—” Dew whimpered as Anton shushed him.

“No, Dew. There’s nothing you could possibly say or do to make me let you go. Now, go get cleaned up and let me deal with the mess you’ve made. I’ll think of a punishment for your little escape attempt later.”

Dew stared at his captor with hatred and tears in his eyes, but he didn’t want to argue any longer. Anton was still holding the tranquilizer gun, and he was not in the mood to feel another painful sting in his neck. Without saying another word, Dew timidly got out of the rain and mud soaked chair, and walked to the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Dew stared in the mirror for a bit, wondering what he did to end up here. It still all felt like a bad dream, though he knew it wasn’t. He was tired and scared, but most of all he was angry. At himself. He couldn’t do something so simple as escape, and now he ruined his chances for the time being.

Dew hoped his roommates noticed he was gone by now. He had been avoiding them lately, too stuck in his own mind with his confusing feelings to talk to them, but they knew Dew wouldn’t just disappear like this. Plus, Dew had always told them whenever he’d be gone and where he was going, it wasn’t like him to just leave. Wherever it was he was trapped, there’d be people looking for him. He knew it. He didn’t believe his captor’s lies, he would get out of here soon. He’d just have to wait here a little longer.

—

Anton’s so cringefail i love him

this chapter took forever to get done because i kept writing ahead to the parts where Things Happen. I’m so excited about this series :))

taglist: @whumpinthepot @shywhumpauthor @whump-me-all-night-long @whump321 @fuckcapitalismasshole

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[transbeamrooikat]

some killjoy hcs/rambles :3

big fan of the HC that Ghoul has hearing loss like. look at that fella and tell me he has any sense of safety precautions

i also think he knows how to shoot his raygun and obviously has his explosives but if a fight ever becomes close range she just starts Biting

and that fucker can bite HARD he has dogshit dental heath (but that's pretty much a given if you live in the zones, i think) but his bite is so strong he often would rather use his teeth than scissors

also playing around (like. considering) with the hc of him being bigender? idk, thinking about that

cause i hc him as being raised in the zones + his crew died when he was young, i think he doesn't really have like. a strong idea of binary sex/gender/sexuality? like, i feel like labeling people is mostly a City concept, and killjoys just do whatever (although some killjoys do label themselves, it's just not an often occurrence)

SPEAKING OF THE CITY!!! i think Party and Kobra where both raised there and escaped together

Party realized they were NB and probably some flavor of queer when they were pretty young and tried to repress it at first, but that's obviously not health so it lead to them having really shit metal health/had a mental health crisis, but eventually they told Kobra and he tries to give them advice/ just be someone for Party to talk too

i also think they stopped talking their pills pretty young (like, i think Party stopped around puberty? so 10ish) and Kobra stopped a bit before Party came out to him (which is why he didn't report them and was able to help them)

Party's queerness is kinda what led to them leaving the city (i think there also may have been a confrontation with their parents that narrowed down their options to either running away or getting turned over for "reprogramming" but hey ho)

i think they would've met Jet Star and his crew pretty soon after them leaving the city, and they helped them to get to Dr. D

Jet couldn't convince the crew to let Party and Kobra stay any longer so they parted ways there

i actually don't have many Jet specific hcs other than that his eye patch is probably either due to an accident Ghoul caused or due to a clap with a drac

i think about a year after meeting Party & Kobra he leaves his own crew to go form his own/traverse the desert

which kinda leads to a general killjoy hc that they tend to be in crew with their families till they leave to form/find their own at around 15-20 (although some killjoys do stay in their original family crew)

there's probably zone-wide gatherings/parties where a tone of killjoys meet up to relax and have a good time

i flip flop between Party and Ghoul meeting at one of these and them meeting in some abandoned area while Party's doing a supply run

Ghoul speaks Afrikaans because i said so :3 (don't ask how it makes sense in canon - it doesn't really)

He reverts back to speaking it when angry/feeling very strong emotions (although it tends to be very choppy cause although speaking afrikaans is like his coping mechanism, he wasn't taught much of it by his family before they died)

I think she'd try to teach the other killjoys at some point cause it'd make communication easier, but Party's the only one who's remotely good at it cause they're the only other person in the group who can roll their r's

Party & Kobra r very shocked when they learn that other languages is a thing like. at all. cause growing up in the city they wouldn't have been taught that other languages r like. a thing ++ they would kinda also be taught at the same time that "everyone only speaking english is better cause then there's no error in communication ^_^" or something like that

idk whether or not i want Ghoul to be the reason they find this out… it'd definitely make for a good fic idea

like I said, I hc Ghoul as having bad dental health, but I think that also applies to Jet

Party and Kobra's good dental health is actually pretty unusual -- people tend to be able to tell they're from the city because of it

I also think they all have some kinda acne/acne scarring

for Party (and to a lesser extent, Kobra) it was a (bad) way to cope with the stress and anxiety of living in the city, and it became a habit that's still very hard for them to break

for Ghoul and Jet i think it's more a background thing they've never thought too hard on? like, oh there's red spots on my face now and some of them hurt? slay /pos

[havecourage-darling]

What You Meant To Me // Eddie Munson

I saw this on @creativepromptsforwriting and IMMEDIATELY thought of Eddie.

Prompt: Person A is a famous celebrity who is being stalked by someone. Their team doesn’t want to make it obvious that they hired a bodyguard, but to explain why Person B would be with Person A all the time, they act like they are Person A’s new lover.

exes to strangers to bodyguard to ???? || Masterlist || AO3

tags: Mayfield! Adopted Female Reader, angsty bitches, running from Big Feelings™, Rockstar! Eddie, Post S4, ten years later, canon compliant, light smut at the end, implied sexual content, bodyguard reader  

///

“YOU’VE got to be shitting me,” Eddie said, eyes going to Robin. “Buckley-”’

“It’s out of my hands Munson,” she said, crossing her arms, “besides, this isn’t a joke. This is the fourth time these people have tried something.”

Eddie rubbed a hand down his face. “It’s just a couple of fans! This is ridiculous. The guys aren’t getting some person following them around.”

“The guys didn’t come back to their home and find a girl naked in their bed-”

“-that’s a gross simplification-”

“She had a knife, Eddie,” Robin snapped, her voice shaking. Eddie glanced up at his friend and manager. She glanced around the room to the rest of his publicity team. “Can you guys give us a moment?”

Eddie watched Robin’s hand tremble just slightly as the rest of the interns, managers, and coordinators filed out the room – Mike shot him a sympathetic look before closing the door behind him.

“I am assigning you a bodyguard for around the clock watch until the end of the tour,” she started, explaining the process and how it’ll be from now on.

Groaning, Eddie let his head loll to the side and watched as Robin continued, ignoring him like the professional she was.

He had to give it to her – she wasn’t wrong per say. He was starting to get major mental instability vibes from these two. It was always the same couple – a man and a woman who sent him unnerving amounts of fan mail about how God had sent them a message that he was meant to join them in a throuple. All he had wanted to do was play guitar for a living, now he had clinically insane people breaking into his apartment and taking fucking naps in his hotel room.

There was a small part of him, a very small part, that was a little relieved. It was extremely unsettling to have people be so obsessed with any morsel of information that they could find about you. Eddie had fought hard to have a peaceful life and he didn’t relish in feeling the need to look over his shoulder every two seconds again.

A sharp thwack to his head had him stumbling out his thoughts. “Ouch! Robin!” He hissed, rubbing his ear.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Honestly, no,” Eddie admitted. “All I heard was you’re getting an undercover bodyguard and she’ll pretend to be your girlfriend so you’re not stabbed to death in some ritual. This person is going to have to be following after me every second of the day – that’s…you know how I feel about new people in our circle.”

Robin sighed, shooting him a knowing look. “I know you all value your privacy and it’s my job to help protect that. But we still have two months left on this leg of the tour. They keep fucking finding you and we have no idea how. The security the label keeps sending is baffled at how they’re doing it – we don’t need a professional, we need an expert.”

“Robin-”

“I didn’t help carry you out of that hellhole and keep you from bleeding out on Harrington’s seats for you to get stabbed on me now,” Robin said softly, her eyes betraying her anxiety. Eddie sighed. Jesus Christ, she’d pulled out the big guns. “International dates go on sale at the end of this month – you four are just going to get more popular at this rate. The rest of this leg is officially sold out; this is what happens when you’re good, Munson – you’re famous now. Everything is changing. We need to take precautions.”

The pain in his temple took another jab at him. “Alright, alright. I’ll play along and be part of a happy couple or whatever.”

Robin grinned and he sighed. “Great. I’ve already called a company and they’re sending their best employee over tomorrow. We’ll meet her at nine, sharp. Do not be late.”

“Tomorrow?” Eddie sputtered. Wasn’t the point of this meeting to get his approval?

She shot him a look as she stood and walked to the door. “I’m sorry, did you think you were in charge here? You signed a losing deal the day you agreed to let me be your manager Munson. Suck it up, Buttercup. You got yourself a bodyguard.”

///

You hated being left in the dark.

The whole nature of your job – your profession – was to know everything at every moment. You were hypervigilant; a side effect of being a pseudo monster hunter for a good chunk of your childhood.

So, when Hopper called you up for a special assignment, you found it odd that he’d refused to give you any details. There was no file, no briefing, no notes for you to have any idea on what this assignment was about. He said they needed an experienced female agent, that it was very under wraps, and they were currently in Atlanta for the next two days - which what a coincidence, there you were. You’d been closing out the paperwork on your previous assignment – the youngest daughter of a senator – when he’d called.

Not one to shy away from a challenge, but not liking the secrecy, you had asked Hopper to assign it to someone else. You had a few years of experience on Johnson but you’d trained her yourself – she wouldn’t let anyone down.

“It has to be you, Mayfield,” Hopper said, voice tinny like it always was when he called from Hawkins. “Do it for me.”

Hopper never called in favors. Never. So, you were both interested and mildly disgruntled as you rode up a fancy glass elevator into a massive building. It was clear they – whoever they were – had money and needed discretion. But that wasn’t new to you.

By the sight of the rented office, your guess was either musician or a writer.

You had barely put a foot out the elevator when a blur of dark blonde hair slammed into you. It was only the familiar sound of someone screaming your name that kept you from body slamming her into the floor next to you.

“Robin?” You asked incredulously. “Holy shit, I haven’t seen you in-”

“Years? Three to be exact,” she said, squeezing you once more before stepping back and shooting you a knowing look. “Once you get running, you really don’t stop do you?”

You rolled your eyes at the jab. You had a standing weekly phone call with Robin and Harrington, the three of you adamant on not losing touch despite the fact that two of you travelled so often. Wait, the reason Robin hadn’t been around to meet up was because she’d become…

Straightening, you barely controlled the scowl on your face. “I’m going to kill Hopper.”

Completely unbothered, Robin linked her arm through yours. “If we told you – you wouldn’t have come. I don’t know why you two avoid each other like the plague but it needs to be you. We need someone we can trust. Please, just hear us out?”

“Robin,” you groaned.

“I wouldn’t be asking if it wasn’t serious.”

At that, you perked up. She was right, she didn’t know – no one knew – what had happened between you two but she had always been respectful of the boundaries you’d set. No matter how stupid. So, if she was asking, it was important.

“Fine. I’ll hear you out,” you promised, rolling your eyes when she grinned like she’d already won.

Who were you kidding? You’d do anything for Robin – for any of them. It was part of the trauma bond at this point. Without giving you a chance to change your mind, Robin led you down a hall and into a massive conference room.

You squinted at the brightness, the entire room looked like it was made from glass, the view of downtown Atlanta impressive and beautiful. As your eyes adjusted, you knew that no amount of preparation or notes would’ve prepared you for the sight of Eddie Munson.

It’d been ten years and your heart still jumped up at his presence.

His dark gaze was on yours immediately and it brought you back to the last time you’d seen him. He’d been cleared of all charges and given the green light to go home. You’d walked in on him while he was adjusting to walking again, torso littered with bandages. You’d gone to tell him you were leaving and you’d never forget the look in his eyes-

“Mayfield!”

You found yourself in the middle of a group hug, one led by Gareth – someone you’d actually seen in the past few years. Jeff was at your side while Liam and Mike were squishing themselves in the best they could.

“Hey boys,” you said, not able to keep your laugh down. “It’s been a long time.”

“I saw you two months ago,” Mike said and you watched Eddie’s eyes narrow at that.

Jeff snorted. “It’s been a good handful of years for me. Last I saw of you, you were kicking someone’s ass on Hollywood Boulevard.”

“In my defense-”

“- they started it,” Jeff and Liam chorused.

You grinned, happy to be around people who you knew so well. People that knew you – before…before it all went to shit. They all herded you over to the table, sitting you down next to Robin.

Eddie, across the table nodded. “Mayfield.”

“Munson,” you said, just as detached.

“This is going to be fun,” Gareth whispered.

Eddie shot him a withering glare and you decided to be the only adult in the room and ignored them all.

“This is our plan,” Robin said, sliding you the thick file.

With a grimace, you pulled a pair of glasses from your small purse and shot Jeff a pointed look when he giggled.

“Didn’t know you wore glasses,” Robin said, her own teasing smile growing.

“I usually wear contacts but today was supposed to be my day off,” you said, pointedly, and shrugged. “I only need them at night or when I’m tired. I – well, Harrington and I had one too many concussions it seems.”

Robin and Mike nodded, sympathetic and understanding. Eddie, however, stilled.  

“So, what do you think? I put together the plan after the most recent incident.

“Who’s seen this?” You asked.

Robin glanced at the band and Mike. “Everyone in this room.”

“That’s it?”

She nodded. “I don’t know how they keep getting to them – obviously Eddie’s is the more dire but, I’m keeping my cards close.”

Distracted by the most recent bout of disturbing fan mail, you nodded. The words ‘FAKE GIRLFRIEND, UNDERCOVER’ blared at you. Grip tightening on the file, you frowned. You couldn’t be his girlfriend – it wasn’t…surely at this point it wasn’t ethical. You both hadn’t been around each other since you packed up, wrapped your little sister in metaphorical bubble wrap, and got the hell out of Hawkins. You were about to tell Robin that you couldn’t do it, that your subordinate would be more than capable – when you saw Eddie’s statement.

Officer F. Jacobs: What happened after that?

E. Munson: Nothing happened, I ran out of there and called the fucking cops. This is so violating; she was in my house man! She touched my shit. I don’t know if anything is missing or if he did anything to my stuff – this is the third time I’ve found them. I just want to be left alone.

Your chest tightened at the crime scene photos, clearly of Eddie’s apartment with the front doorknob unscrewed from its hinge. You’d clearly taken too long to respond because Robin had launched into a pitch on how they really needed your help.

“It pays really well!” She added on, her brows jumping up when you shot her a look. “Mayfield, please-”

Eddie straightened. “She clearly doesn’t want to do it, Robin, just let her-”

Fucking shit, you cursed. You might’ve left Hawkins behind but your loyalty to this group ran deep and you knew that Hopper knew that.

“I’ll do it,” you said, interrupting the growing fight between Robin and Eddie. Silence fell, everyone’s eyes swinging around to you. “I’ll need to fly back to Headquarters – whatever. I can do it I just need a few hours to get everything in order. I need a schedule of every single stop you have from here until the end of the tour.”

“That file is your copy, the only copy, and it has all the information you’ll need,” Robin said, looking delighted.

“Uh, wait-” Eddie sputtered but you all ignored him.

“The proposal here indicates that you want our office to completely overhaul your security protocol?” You asked, blinking down at the text in your hands. “Are you sure? What about the record label?”

Robin’s eyes flashed. “They’re clearly incompetent and if we’re going to be spending money, I want to spend it on people I trust.”

“They’re willing to foot the bill? For an overhaul? And my tailing him for two months?”

Nodding, Robin crossed her arms. “Corroded Coffin has had a very sudden and very quick rise to popularity. Six songs from their second album are on the top one hundred charts. It’s only going to grow from there. We’ve officially sold out the remainder of this tour and will likely sell out the international one. Anyone we have on staff now is trustworthy because they’ve grown with us. The security the label keeps sending are idiots and I don’t trust them.”

You sighed, trying to work out who was on roster back in Los Angeles. “Well, we don’t specify in full team security, I’ll tell you that. We’re a small company and we work internationally – there’s only about five I can call from California on hand now. Everyone else is on assignment. Shit, half of us are scattered around western Europe. Actually, make that four because I need to assign someone to the jobs I now can’t take. I do…know people who can lend a helping hand though. People you can trust,” you assured her.

Hares Security was not the biggest company but in the past ten years you’d been able to cultivate a loyal list of clients. Hopper started the private security firm a few years after the…earthquake. He hadn’t wanted to return to public service and being a cop was all he knew. He’d offered you a job straight out of college and had been grooming you to take over as head of the company for when he’d go into retirement.

You knew he needed someone he could trust to keep everything afloat since he’d started bouncing between Hawkins, California, and Rhode Island – where Will was a master’s student at the Rhode Island School of Design.

Jesus, this was an entire overhaul of their system. Not that they had a good one in place to start with. From the looks of it, the security team that had been assigned to them were all inexperienced and practically useless. Some had mall experience. Who the hell hired these people?

“Okay, I’ll sound the alarm and we’ll have people incoming in the next twenty-four hours. I need to talk to Hopper though and let him know what I’ve got in mind. Is this the hotel you’re all staying at?” You asked, brows rising at the fancy hotel downtown.

Robin’s head bobbed. “They’ve got some recording to do this afternoon but we’ll be there by eight for an early night. We have an morning flight to New York City.”

“Alright,” you said, standing and tucking the file under your arm. You reached out to ruffle Mike’s hair – smiling when he grumbled. “I’m going to make some calls, fly back home and gather the arsenal. I’ll see you all in New York.”

Pointedly ignoring Eddie’s stare, you pressed a quick kiss to Robin’s head and walked out the room.

The doors to the elevator had barely closed when you pulled out your StarTAC and aggressively punched in Hopper’s number.

“Hey kiddo.”

You scowled, hoping he could hear it. “This was low. Even for you.”

“I see you’ve found out the details of your new assignment.”

“How do you know I’ve even taken it? What if I’m reassigning it to Johnson?”

“Because it’s you. You never do things half-assed.”

Fucking fuck, you hated how well Hopper knew you sometimes. “This is wildly unprofessional.”

“So is my favoritism to you but you never complain about that.”

You sputtered and growled when his tinny laugh echoed through your phone. “Asshole.”

“Listen, I don’t know what the hell happened with Munson but they need your help. Help I know only you can give. If you really want out, let me know and I’ll fly down there myself.”

Jesus, this really was bad if Hopper himself was willing to sub in.

“I can do it,” you said, mildly insulted, “I’m a professional unlike some people.”

“Right,” he said, tone amused.

Rolling your eyes, you cradled the phone between your shoulder and stalked out the lobby. “This is going to be a major lift, Hop, I’m going to need all hands-on deck and outsource some general security. People we can trust and maybe some military experience for some of the larger concerts. This is…gonna be a lot.”

“Fly out whoever you need to. Buckley and the suit at the label assured me that there’s no limit. You know where to find me if you need me.”

Rubbing the headache blooming at your temples, you shut your phone and sighed. You could do this. You could protect and be Eddie’s security detail. You were a goddamn professional.

///

“I can’t believe you got Henderson to fly out for cyber security,” Robin said, watching from the lighting control stage as Gareth let Dustin mess around on the drums.

You bit back a smile when you saw Jeff wrap him up in a headlock. Immature children, all of them. “They all owe me favors until the day I kick it,” you said, turning to her, “including you.”

“Hey!”

“Besides, NASA’s headquarters is in D.C., that’s a short train ride. Dustin’s the best at this stuff, whatever he comes up with has been Suzie approved and between the two of them any holes you have in any virtual world will be covered.”

Footsteps alerted you to someone approaching. “Mayfield?” A familiar voice called out. You turned to see Johnson approaching you, clipboard in hand.

“Everything set?”

“Yes. Julian’s team should be here shortly and we’ll help them familiarize themselves with the venue,” she said, handing over the clipboard.

Glancing down at your checklist, you were pleased to see that the small team you’d assembled had already covered a lot of ground. Yang had even sent someone ahead to the Texas venue to scout out any major possible issues.

“Good job Johnson,” you said, watching as she stood up a little straighter, “you’ve got all the angles covered. I’m placing you in charge of anything I can’t get ahold of while I’m on personal security. You’ve got my number, call me if anything comes up.”

“Sure boss,” she said, jetting off towards the loading dock.

You could practically feel Robin’s grin. “Just say it,” you sighed.

“I knew you were practically the head of the company, it’s just so different to see it in action. You’re someone’s boss,” Robin said.

Rolling your eyes, you turned to her. “You’re the manager of one of the biggest bands at the moment, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”

“Uh no, you have like – a gun,” she whispered, “you’re like a karate master or something. I still trip over their mic wires sometimes.”

At that, you couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m a black belt in Judo, not Karate and I distinctly remember all three of us in blue sailor uniforms serving ice cream at Starcourt. Once you’ve been humbled that profoundly, there’s no coming back.”

“That’s true,” Robin snorted, bumping her shoulder with yours. “So, you ready for the next two months?”

“Nope, but I’m here anyway.”

“And that’s why I love you the most,” Robin said, ducking when you reached out to whack her.

///

No amount of warning or prepping could’ve prepared you for being alone with Eddie for the first time, in a decade.

“I’m sorry,” Robin said, eyes apologetic. “I didn’t know if you’d accept and there were no rooms left available at the hotel. I was going to try to move us to downtown but our flight is after the show – it’s only a few hours-”

Stopping her increasingly frantic stumbling, you’d grabbed her hands and assured her that you could make do for the night. She almost folded under the gratitude and swore you’d always have the requested adjoining room from now on.

“Alright, see you two tomorrow,” Gareth said, swiping his card to the room and disappearing through it.

Eddie cleared his throat and you sighed. Okay, you could be the mature one if you needed to be. Holding out your hand, Eddie blinked at you. “What?”

“Give me the card.”

His brow quirked. “I can open the door on my own.”

“I know, smartass, I need to do a sweep of the room before you go in,” you said, “did you read the file I gave you?”

Eddie crossed his arms defensively. “I- it was a big file!”

Biting back a laugh, not wanting to encourage the bad behavior, you wiggled your hand again and he sighed. Opening the room, you shoot him a death stare when he went to step behind you. Sticking his hands up, he stood by the door as you made your way through the sitting room, the bathroom, the closet, and the bedroom.

“It’s clear,” you told him, ducking to double check under the bed. Eddie walked in, eyes zeroing in on your shoulder piece as you stood back up.

“Is that a gun?” His voice squeaked towards the end.

Nodding, you made way towards the sitting room and plopped down onto the sofa. “I don’t usually carry one but your situation is a bit different.”

“Enough to warrant a gun?”

Your eyes shot to his and you crossed your arms. “I’m head of your security and these people squirmed their way in with a knife, Eddie. What about that are you not understanding?”

Eddie grumbled something inaudible.

“Is it because I’m a girl or because I’m…me?”

His eyes raised to yours and he shook his head. “Neither,” he said adamantly, “you’ve always – even back then – you…you never liked bullies.” He made his way over to his duffel bag and grabbed a handful of clothes. Hesitating by the bathroom, he turned to you and you waved a hand.

“You can take the bathroom first,” you assured him, “I’m going to confirm everything is set for our ride to JFK.”

By the time you’d confirmed everything for tomorrow, showered, and had your nightly tea, you were exhausted. Eddie popped out from the bathroom, smelling like mint, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from dropping to his now bare arms.

The scars were clearly old, healed, but they were still visible enough for you to see from your position on the floor. Guilt roared in your chest and a lump settled in your throat.

“What are you doing?” He asked, feet coming to a stop by your head.

“I’m getting ready for bed?” You said, propping yourself up on your elbow from the makeshift bed you’d made from extra pillows and some of the couch cushions.

“That’s on the floor,” he said, glancing at the bed, “you can just take-”

“Eddie.”

“-you can’t just sleep on the floor-”

“Eddie…”

“-you have a bad shoulder, I remember. Besides you can’t always guard me from the floor-”

“Eddie!” You watched his jaw snap closed and you nodded towards the bed. “Listen, after this one time we’ll have adjoining rooms – that we’ll need to keep open – but I promise not to ruin your love life or whatever. I’ve done this for years now. I know how to make myself scarce and as unintrusive as possible so my clients don’t feel like their lives are turned around.”

You watched in fascination as his skin turned a violent shade of red. “That’s – I don’t – I wouldn’t – I’m not-” he stuttered, hands flailing around.

“Right, you’re the only celibate rockstar in the industry,” you said, goading him. Eddie’s flailing increased as he tried to explain what he meant.

A pang of nostalgia shot through you as he stammered through his explanation poorly. Money, fame, music aside – it was comforting to see that even after all these years, Eddie was still Eddie.

His stammering stopped as he saw your smile and he rolled his eyes. “You little shit.”

“How dare you,” you said, fluffing up your pillow, glad that some of the ice between you two had cracked. Like it or not, you were going to be his shadow for the next two months.

“You were fucking with me,” he said, gaping. “I – Mayfield.”

“Go to sleep, we’ll be up in five hours anyway to start the interviews then we’re on a flight to Texas,” you told him, gently nudging him away with your hand. He stumbled, as if burned, and hesitatingly sat on the bed.

“Are you sure-”

“Ed’,” you said, the old nickname rolling off your tongue, “go to sleep. I’ve slept in worst places than a four-star hotel’s floor.”

His brows rose, shock flittering across his expression before settling. “Yeah?”

You nodded, turning onto your side so the door was in your sight. “Last year I was on a team for a minor royal, she had no qualms about who was present during her sexual escapades.”

Eddie laughed and your stomach fluttered. Shutting your eyes tightly, you beat the sudden rise of emotion back into submission.

You were going to kill Hopper when this was over.

///

Late night talk shows were the worst, you decided. Anxiety ricocheting as the studio’s security argued with your team behind you.

Forgetting that you were playing a part, you’d almost stepped in when the security guard shouted at Johnson. Forcing yourself to smile and walk in with the band, you reminded yourself to take a few more undercover assignments in the future – your skills were getting rusty.

“You don’t at all look like you want to murder someone,” Mike said, stepping up next to you from the wings of the stage.

“Is it that obvious?”

Mike snorted. “I don’t think you’ve taken your eyes off of him from the moment we got in.”

“They’re being stubborn. Doesn’t all talent have their own security team?” You asked, glancing over your shoulder and watching Johnson hold her own. “What’s the issue with us? Besides, I’ve counted like three massive holes in their system.”

“Calm down Terminator,” he said, bumping your shoulder. Eddie’s laughter drew your attention back to him as the audio assistant set him up with a mic and explained how the cues were going to go.

The boys were on the second stage to the left, assuring themselves that their equipment had all arrived unscathed and were tuned to perfection.

“Hey, Boss!” You turned towards your newly acquired nickname – thanks to Jeff who had refused to listen to you until you’d let him know you were the boss. You were never living it down – and saw Eddie waving you over.

“This is uh, my girlfriend,” Eddie said, introducing you to Conan O’Brien.

You stepped forward, smile settled in your features, and shook his hand. Coming to Eddie’s side, you mumbled, “you’re a natural,” as Conan settled into his chair.

“Shut up,” he muttered.

“You call your girlfriend Boss?” Conan joked. “That’s either really smart or sarcastic enough to earn me a slap.”

Smiling and stepping forward, you cross your arms playfully. “He knows who’s in charge,” you winked. Eating it up, Conan guffawed.

Eddie grumbled awkwardly behind you and you smacked his shoulder with the back of your hand. “Besides, he brings me everywhere – we can’t live without each other, right pumpkin?”

“Right,” he said dryly.

Conan began talking about his own girlfriend, sitting in the green room backstage, when something in the corner of your eye caught your attention.

Your instinct won and you turned to find a woman with blonde hair running straight to you. Without much thought, your training kicked in and before anyone could step in, you had her on her stomach with a knee to her back.

“Eddie! Eddie! I love you!” She screamed, hysterically crying despite the pressure you applied to her spine. Jesus, she had a set of lungs on her. You were impressed.

A portly man shuffled forward, his eyes wide as saucers, “Uh, Miss, I can take it from here.”

“Oh,” you remembered, eyes darting up to Eddie’s. His brown eyes were dilated, mouth gaping a little, and he was frozen. Stumbling at his reaction, you tried to dust yourself off and shot a bewildered Conan a grin. “Sorry about that!”

“That’s some form you’ve got there!” Conan exclaimed, hands going up. “Man, the Giants could sure use some defense like you.” His eyes darted down your figure and you fought the urge to roll your eyes when a warm hand came across your shoulders.

“Yeah, she’s something alright,” Eddie said, pulling you into his side. “I’m lucky to have her.”

Message clearly received, you shot up a surprised look and let yourself be ushered off stage by a PA. Robin had arrived, standing there with an impressed glint in her eyes.

“Shut up,” you muttered at her.

She held her hands up, her suit moving with her, “I didn’t say anything!”

“Are you okay?” You spun around and almost stumbled into Eddie, his hands coming out to steady you.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry – it was instinct. I didn’t mean – I shouldn’t have hit her so hard,” you said, feeling weirdly off kilter.

Eddie scratched the back of his head, a sign you knew was a habit for when he was feeling uncomfortable. “It’s okay. I just, was worried you – uh, for you,” he said, stilted.

“For fuck’s sake,” Robin said, blowing air out of her lips, “you two are so awkward it’s actually painful. You’re not strangers, you were friends at some point, just pop the goddamn elephant you two have in the room and get over it. Nothing about this, screams romance.”

With a dramatic hair flip and a roll of his eyes, Eddie ignored her, shot you another look, and walked off when you’d nodded.

Robin sighed. “Jesus, it’s like we’re in high school all over again. I can’t deal with the tension a second time around Mayfield, I can’t.” She continued to grumble but you kept your eyes on Eddie as he climbed up the sound stage and settled his guitar over his shoulder.

Robin’s words echoed in your mind - you were friends at some point.

Your history with Eddie Munson was a little more complicated than most knew. Eddie had been your friend but he’d been more than your friend. He was your almost.

The first few chords rung through the stage and everyone in the audience went wild. You closed your eyes and bit the inside of your cheek. “Hello New York City! I’m guessing by the sound of that you know what song we’re going to play. Don’t be shy now, sing along!”

Now and then I think of when we were together

Like when you said you felt so happy you could die

Like the best kind of torture, you watched Eddie’s fingers wrap around the mic, his eyes sliding closed.

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness

Like resignation to the end, always the end

You’d heard the song, because of course you had you didn’t live under a rock. Hearing it live, however, cut a little deeper than your stereo at home. At least at home you could have a drink in hand.

But you didn't have to cut me off

Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing

And I don't even need your love

But you treat me like a stranger, and that feels so rough

Robin’s eyes slid to you and they felt like two honing signals. You didn’t want to watch anything dawn on her – you hadn’t made it this far to fall apart now. Not over a song.

“I’m going to go wait in the green room, okay?” Robin nodded, her eyes following you as you left.

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

///

The flight to Texas had been long and after the day you’d had – you were dead on your feet. But, because the universe didn’t know how ever give you a break, you found yourself doing a sweep of Eddie’s hotel room before herding him inside.

Gareth’s room had needed sudden repairs and while he’d offered up to bunk with Jeff – you’d given him your adjoining room. It was only for a night, his room would be available tomorrow morning, and you knew that being close to the client was never a bad thing.

You’d shower in the morning, unable to think of more than just brushing your teeth and falling face first into your pillow. Especially considering that you had an early wake up call to go take a look at the new venue.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked, watching you settle into the sofa in the makeshift sitting room. This one was actually big enough that you could use as a bed for the night – it was a step up from the floor.

Not this again. “Munson, I’ll be fine.”

Eddie scowled and you felt your pulse jump. “It’s a California king mattress Mayfield, just get up here.”

“No,” you said, stubbornly.

Sighing, Eddie flopped onto the bed and you thought that would be the end of it until – “We’ve slept in the same bed before. One much smaller than this. In a trailer park. For months. Get your ass up here.”

“Eddie-”

“I saw you twinge. I know your back probably hurts from that defensive tackle.”

Eye twitching at the memories of you curled around Eddie in his small bedroom, you sat up. “What do you know about sports?”

“It’s been ten years,” he said, deadpan.

“Tigers don’t change their stripes.”

“For fuck’s sake – just get up here,” he groaned, flopping back down onto the pillow.

The twinge in your shoulder screamed for the softness of the bed but your mind was telling you this was a bad idea. It didn’t matter that you’d shared beds before – this was still a client.

“I know how to keep my hands to myself,” he said, tone defensive.

“Oh my God,” you scowled, despite knowing that he was playing you. You got up and padded over to the other side of the – admittedly – huge bed. “Fine!”

Grinning Eddie revealed a small heating pad. “I asked the front desk to have one sent up. It helps me with my shoulder too. After a while they get sore from performing so often,” he said, handing it over a little sheepishly.

Completely bowled over and shocked, you reached for it and arranged it onto your sore shoulder. The heat immediately soothed the surface ache and you smiled at him. “Thank you,” you said.

Awkward, and a little embarrassed with your earnest tone, the two of you broke eye contact.

“I’ll shut off the lights,” Eddie mumbled, hauling himself out and returning once the room had gone dark.

Two minutes in you knew there was no way either of you were going to get any sleep with the tension as thick as it was.

Put your big girl pants on, you shouted at yourself. But your tongue felt stuck to the roof of your mouth.

“Robin’s right,” Eddie said, breaking the silence first.

You nodded, despite the fact that you knew he couldn’t see you. “Yeah, we should…talk about it?”

There was a beat of silence before Eddie exhaled. “I wrote that song a long, long time ago. I was in a different head space and of course, it became one of our hits from the debut album.”

Shutting your eyes, you realized you had finally gotten the answer to a question you didn’t know you’d even wanted an answer for.

“It’s okay,” you said, because it was.

Eddie continued, a hand shooting up in the air, illuminated by the soft moonlight. “I just needed a way to cope with your absence and-”

You reached out, touching his hand softly. “You’re a great songwriter, Eddie. I would never hold that against you.”

“Oh,” he breathed, a small sigh coming out after. “Thanks.”

It seemed that even after all these years, you still knew Eddie well enough. “Just ask me,” you said softly into the silence.

“Why?” He asked eventually.

“Why what?”

“Why was I the only one who you avoided? When you left…you said you needed to get out and I tried really hard not to feel like I was being abandoned but, after a few years everyone seemed to reconnect with you. Except for me.”

Turning onto your side to face him, you watched him turn his head towards you – eyes incredibly sad.

“I didn’t, at least not purposefully,” you admitted. “When we left, I hid away. I left my mom and Max and buried myself in school. I became a shell of a person, I-I’m not proud of things I did but I was in survival mode. I started studying to become a psychologist and that was my life for four years. As horrible as it sounds, I didn’t really reach out to everyone else. They found me - they forced me back into being a human. They searched me out and once I was back among the living it felt like it’d been too long to just pick up where we had left off. How did I start to apologize for just leaving like that?”

Eddie smiled sadly at you. “I understand, in a way. We weren’t exactly easy to find either, you in California and me traveling around with the guys. I…I asked Steve once,” he admitted, “I knew you’d given me an abbreviated story about what had happened before ’86. After he told me, I wasn’t as mad, I was just…sad. You really undersold the story in that little shack.”

“I’m not belittling what we’ve been through, what you’ve been through, but Vecna was my fourth round,” you said, breathing unsteady, “so many people died. Barb…she hurt the most. I could tell Billy’s death had cut Max deeper than she was letting on.”

Eddie’s hand came up to yours and you realized you were shaking.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. I stayed in that town after everything, after Billy, and I know it’s not an excuse but it feels like Hawkins is cursed. I saw you on the floor, in Dustin’s lap, and my world just crumbled.”

His eyes softened. “Sweetheart…”

“We took you to the hospital and I sat there for days going back and forth between your room and Max’s. I just – I couldn’t let that town take anyone else from me. I wouldn’t survive it. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry that I let so much time go by before I woke up. I’m sorry I didn’t push my way back into your life like I should’ve.”

Shaking his head, Eddie’s hand squeezed yours. “I’m sorry for not trying harder. For not seeing how deeply you hurt and only focusing on my own.”

Despite your restraint, you felt tears burn your eyes. “We made a mess of it.”

“Yeah, but even messes can be beautiful in their own way.”

Because of course he’d say the right thing. The ice around you two cracked and more pieces fell to the waiting ocean below. Eyes slipping closed, you had a brief burst of relief in your chest.

Which was promptly stomped upon when your alarm jerked you awake a few hours later. Lifting your arm, you patted around the night table until you hit something warm.

“Ouch,” Eddie grunted, “turn it off.”

Lifting your head, confused, last night came back to you in a rush. Glancing down, you realized that the pressure around your waist was Eddie’s arm. You were tucked into his chest, your legs tangled, and head tucked under his chin. The same way you used to when you’d climb in through his window in the trailer park. Like no time had passed. Then you were suddenly aware of another insistent pressure on your waist.

“Turn it off,” Eddie grumbled again, voice muffled by your hair.

“Uh,” you cleared your throat, “I need you to let me go.”

Eddie’s grip tightened before it immediately disappeared and you both flung yourselves to opposite ends of the bed.

“I’m sorry – uh, oh shit,” he tumbled off the bed, popping up awkwardly. “I’m just going – I’m – I need a shower. Right. Okay.”

You watched him scurry into the ensuite and dropped your head back down to the bed, groaning. You knew you should’ve slept on the fucking floor.

So much for less awkward.

///

Robin cornered you both during rehearsals.

“What is this?” She said, smacking a magazine down. There, on a spread in the pages, were you and Eddie looking like you barely knew each other.

TROUBLE IN PARADISE?

“It’s been a week since they’ve known about me,” you huffed, looking through the poor pictures of you. “How could they know? Oh look, it says we’ve been dating for two years. Apparently, sources say you met me at a coffee shop. How quaint.”

Eddie grunted, eyes darting across the pages.

“Yeah, and who the hell is going to believe that with you two looking like you’d rather be dead?” Robin exclaimed.

“That feels like an exaggerated statement, and that’s coming from me,” Eddie said, frowning.

Robin’s hands came out to snatch the magazine from under your noses. You flinched and Eddie’s hand came up to steady you. “We need to stage some shots. You’ll need to go on a date. Something under the radar, cute, ‘they’re just like us’ type of thing.”

“I am technically just like them,” you pointed out to deaf ears. Eddie’s hand squeezed your shoulder and his small smile made your chest tighten.

“Don’t you think that’s a little gross? Staging shots?” Eddie asked.

“That’s how we get ahead of this. We control the narrative. There’s something else too – this was mailed to the office,” Robin said, clearing her throat. She placed a large manila envelope down and you sorted through it.

“Oh!” You said, straightening, “it’s hate-mail!”

Eddie’s brows flew up. “And you’re happy about that?”

“It means we’re doing something right,” you hummed, looking at the crude images and chunks of hair taped to the letter. “Robin might be right. We should do this and see if we aggravate them further.”

“Are you insane?”

You frowned. “It’s how people get caught. They get sloppy and besides you’ll be safe – I’m here all the time,” you assured him. “We haven’t had any incidents so far these past two weeks.”

“That’s true!” Robin said, perking up. “I’ve seen her decapitate an interdimensional superpowered human. Two regular humans should be easy for her.”

The memory of your machete going straight through Vecna’s neck flashed through your mind and you frowned.

“I’m not afraid for me – oh my God, you two are insufferable,” Eddie muttered, walking off towards the audio guy who was waving him down.

“Jeez, what’s up his butt?” You grumbled, looking through the mail and pointedly ignoring Robin’s knowing smile.

///

He hated to admit that Robin was right. Eddie would never actually say it out loud – she’d never let him forget it. But…the photos looked good. Eddie flipped the page and the image of you with your head thrown back making him smile.

“I feel like we should be laughing, isn’t everyone in those tabloids always laughing?”

Eddie snorted. “Did you need me to tell you a joke?”

“I can fake laugh, look,” you chortled, laugh sounding horrendously fake even to his ears. Eddie couldn’t help but actually laugh at your attempt.

“That was bad,” he said between laughter.

You grinned; Jesus did your smile make his heart sing. “Made you laugh though.”

The both of you had agreed to go for ice cream in downtown Dallas. You’d tossed your arms around him, practically touching him at every opportunity, and Eddie wasn’t stupid enough to try and lie about how it made him feel.

In fact, everything about your arrival had him feeling like he’d been turned upside down. It’d been painfully awkward at first, it still was sometimes, but you were both slowly learning how to be around each other again. And Eddie wasn’t sure if that was such a good thing in the long run. Or if he was just setting himself up to be hurt again.

The last photo, one where you were reaching out to wipe the corner of his mouth, made him smile. His eyes were on you and even he could see that you both looked like a couple very much in love.

“They look good,” Gareth said, leaning against the doorframe. Eddie slammed the magazine shut and straightened. “Well now, that wasn’t suspicious at all.”

“Shut up,” Eddie said, rubbing a hand down his face. “It was set up; you know it was.”

“Riiight.”

“Gareth.”

He laughed. “Dude, it’s me. I’ve known you since I was a freshman in high school. You can’t lie to me. I was there when you met her. She was in my class originally remember? She’s my friend too.”

You had been – that’s how he’d met you. Gareth had failed history junior year and his teacher had assigned him you at the beginning of senior year for tutoring. As cliché as it sounded, you had taken one look at him and he was gone. You were so nice to him, to all of his friends, and repeatedly defended anyone in Hellfire against bullies.

Dustin had mentioned you before – Mike usually rode home with you – but he just hadn’t really noticed you. He couldn’t fathom how because it’d taken one offer for you to come out to the Hide Out and your friendship had all but solidified.

There was rarely a day Eddie wasn’t attached to your hip. Sometimes, it’d felt like he was your shadow, following you around like a lost puppy.

He knew he loved you on Halloween. It was a wonder that it took him so long. You’d told him that you loved him on Valentine’s Day. He still had the card you’d handed to him, flustered and shy. His heart felt like it was going to beat out his chest that day.

There were things he didn’t understand - before everything exploded during spring break – like the times you’d sneak into his trailer, tears in your eyes and panic shaking your body. He’d assumed that you just had nightmares after the fire at Starcourt since you had been in there when it burned. You hadn’t like to talk about but, he quickly found out why.  

Eddie had tried his best to be comforting, to be a safe space, and for a moment – a brief moment, he’d thought that you were his future.

Then Vecna had stolen that from him too.

In hindsight, he should’ve known better. He’d cut the rope in the trailer that night because he knew you needed time to kill him. He’d done it for you. Because he couldn’t run away when he didn’t know if you were safe or not. Even if that had been what caused you to run after, he didn’t regret it. Not even in the winter when the scars and his joints hurt the most.

But…he missed you. He’d forgotten that. Forgotten how easy it was with you – how much he wanted to breathe you in and follow you around like that lost nineteen-year-old. There were things he knew about you, whether or not they were still true, that he didn’t know what to do with.

Eddie knew that you liked to have tea before bed. He knew that you liked your coffee with an ungodly amount of sugar. That you thought waffles were superior to pancakes. Your order at the diner was etched into his memory, alongside the way you were ticklish on the soft part of your thighs. The fact that you were a good daughter but an even better sister.

He knew the noises you made when he sucked on the sensitive patch of skin on your neck. He knew that you liked to take charge, never one to be bowled over. He knew just how to twist his fingers, where to touch, to get you to scream. He knew that you liked to pull his hair, that it drove you crazy when he tied it up in a bun.

But he also knew that the sounds of your sobs echoed, the ones that haunted his dreams, while he tried to claw his way through the darkness back to you. He knew what you looked like, begging him to forgive you for not being able to stay while he was still attached to monitors at the hospital. He knew that you’d loved him, once upon a time, and that it’d hurt more than he thought possible to have it taken away.

“I’m scared,” Eddie said, thoughts jumbling together, “what if I get used to her being back?”

Gareth nodded. “That could happen.”

“I don’t – I-” Eddie sighed.

“Listen, she ran after those earthquakes and you let her go. This was something that fell apart that you both let fall. You’re adults now – you’re both grown-ups, ugh,” he said, wrinkling his nose at the thought, “you gotta decide on what you want. Once you figure that out, you’ll know what to do. But…don’t jerk her around. She wasn’t doing good for a while and this is the happiest I’ve seen her in a long time. She’s settled now and she deserves to be at peace Eddie, so do you frankly.”

Before Eddie could even think of a response, let alone soak that in, Robin popped her head in the door.

“Hey! You have the magazine! What do you think?”

Eddie stood up and shrugged. “Looks good to me.”

“Right? I’m a genius! We should do a few more once we land in Chicago, to keep up pretenses,” she said, tapping her chin. “We’ve gotten a ton of fan mail for her. A few job opportunities too, apparently people like her style.”

Of course, they did. Because everyone loved you. How could they not?

“Munson? Gareth? We’re ready for you two. We need to do a final sound check.”

Gareth shot him a look and Eddie sighed again. “Let’s do it.”

As the four of them walk towards the stage, Eddie spotted a few of your team members securing the hallways. Smiling at the woman who never went anywhere without her earpiece or clipboard, Eddie wondered how you two had met.

As if summoned, Eddie caught sight of you as you spoke to one of the outsourced security teams. Julian? He faintly remembered you mentioning a second, much larger, security firm lending a hand. You were pointing at the doors to your left and the man nodded, attention solely on you. Eddie could relate. His eyes wandered down, your jeans tightly curving around your hips-

“Eddie!”

Eddie blinked, turning towards Jeff who was staring at him worriedly. “What?” He said, clearing his throat. “Sorry, what’d you say?”

“He asked if you were ready,” Gareth said from his spot behind the drums, fingers twirling a drumstick while his eyes were light with laughter.

Eddie glared at him before nodding at Jeff. “Sorry man, I’m ready. Want to start off from the last song?”

.

Pacing the length of the green room, Eddie tried his best to calm his nerves.

“You alright man?” Jeff asked, eyeing him. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this nervous before a concert.”

“Uh,” Eddie said smartly, not sure how to word that he wasn’t really nervous about performing – more like he was nervous about the fact that this was the first night since you’d joined that he’d be performing that song. It was stupid, he was sure you’d heard it before and he’d gotten away with excluding it for the last few concerts but, it was popular enough that it couldn’t be ignored forever.

Gareth snorted at his indecision. “She’s never heard him sing Got Away,” Gareth said. Eddie whipped his head around and Gareth rolled his eyes. “Dude, they were there while you two pretended not to be obsessed with each other. They’re here now while you two awkwardly try to pretend like you’re not staring at the other. We’re metalheads, not blind.”

Jeff rolled his eyes. “Anyone can see you both have it bad for each other.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Eddie said.

“Sure,” Liam said, chuckling from his place on the couch, “and I’m Ozzy Osbourne.”

Eddie stood up, feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed. “For my own sanity, just for this performance, can we please drop it?”

Jeff, ever the mediator, nodded but Eddie watched Gareth quirk a brow and shake his head. “The more you ignore it, the worst it’s going to be later.”

“I’m sure she’s heard it anyway,” Liam said, “at this point she’s gotta know you wrote most of that album about her anyway. Most of downtown Hawkins knows.”

“Jesus, remember the songs that fall?” Gareth snorted. “He made that girl in the audience cry.”

Eddie hated how well his bandmates knew him sometimes.

The PA from earlier knocked on the door. “We’re ready for you guys!”

Jumping at the chance, Eddie hurried out the door. He shook his arms out, hooking his guitar around his chest and nodded. It was just another concert.

The sound of fans chanting made him smile. Grabbing the mic handed to him by the audio guy, he caught sight of you on the other end of the stage. You waved, giving him a thumbs up and Eddie hated the fact that it did something to his chest. He shot you a smile before bringing the mic up to his lips.

“Hello Dallas!”

The roar of the crowd drowned out all his thoughts. The curtains dropped, the audience screamed louder, and Eddie reveled in the energy.

“We’re going to start you off with a crowd favorite, is that alright?”

Glancing back at Gareth, he nodded once before raising his drumsticks into the air.

At the first chords, the crowd went wild. Focusing on the audience, Eddie managed to keep his eyes forward, and voice steady for most of the song.

We'd keep all our promises, be us against the world

In another life, I would make you stay

So I don't have to say you were the one that got away

The one that got away

As the bridge approached, Eddie couldn’t help but give into his urge, eyes swinging around to you. He wasn’t prepared for the way you were already looking at him, eyes wide and awed. Your hands were intertwined, pressed up against your chin. At the sight of his glance, you smiled a small little sad thing that had his own heart stuttering.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no

Can't replace you with a million rings, no

I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa

'Cause now I pay the price

Dragging his eyes back to the crowd, ignoring the pang in his chest, he let the last chorus fade and picked right back up with the next song.

///

You were mildly embarrassed at how quickly, and in such a short amount of time, you got used to being in Eddie’s presence again. You might even go so far as to say that in the rare moment you found yourself without him, you felt a little off.

It was mortifying really. You were a professional and all it took was one assignment to ruin your spotless record. Just barely four weeks into this detail and you were incredibly used to him being the first person you saw in the mornings and the last before bed.

In your incredibly weak defense, there was something intimate about being part of someone’s daily routine. It’s something you taught everyone who joined the firm. There’s bound to be a connection to the people you’re protecting. No matter how short the time, it’s only human to grow attached. It’s a major factor into why your clientele was so loyal. Most of your jobs were reoccurring or past clients. You’d created a bond with all of yours, and you’d hoped – desperately – that it wouldn’t happen here. Honestly, you should’ve known better.

“Is this necessary? We were just here,” Eddie said, yawning from the door.

You got down on your knees and lifted the bed skirt. Flashing your light, you confirmed that the room was clear. When you didn’t immediately hear Eddie’s footsteps, you turned to glance at him from over your shoulder. He shuffled in, eyes on the ground, cheeks pink.

“Fucking hell, is it only eight? Why am I so tired?” Eddie groaned, flopping onto his bed. You perched yourself at the furthest edge, massaging your bad knee and rolling your eyes.

“Because you’re nearly thirty and traveling across the country is exhausting?”

Eddie lifted his head and glared at you. “Don’t you ever mention my descent into death again.”

You laughed and shook your head. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly dramatic?”

“Once, a girl I knew from high school,” he joked when you shot him a look. “She was wrong, obviously. I’m a completely rational person. If anything, I underreact.”

“Wow,” you said, deadpan.

“What?”

“I’ve never met someone so delusional – oomph,” you grunted as a small pillow hit your shoulder.

Eddie groaned as he sat up. “I’m hungry,” he grumbled, reaching out to check the messages on the hotel phone.

“Me too,” you chimed, already thinking of places you could order from. Eddie seemed fond of the burgers from yesterday. They’d also been cleared by Michaels and Yang as a safe spot to order from for the duration of your stay.

“Robin says we’re all cleared for the night,” Eddie stood suddenly, letting the phone drop back down to the receiver. “I say we go out for dinner.”

“What?” You balked. “We have an early call time; I think our flight is at eight to Chicago.”

Eddie rounded the bed, placing his hands on his knees and bending down to your height. “Come on Mayfield, live a little.”

“It’s not safe – I’d need another person with me. Maybe Johnson is still awake? Maybe a man would look better? What if you’re recognized-” Eddie lifted a hand, his eyes going wide and pleading.

“Come on, boss, live a little. We’ll go somewhere nearby. I’ll wear a disguise! Look,” he said, pointing to the hotel’s massive windows. “The beach is right there! We haven’t, and won’t, get a chance to see it if we don’t go now.”

“We never get the chance to see anything in any city,” you said, brows raising. “It’s just a beach.”

“Mayfield.”

Feeling yourself give a little, you sighed. “What kind of disguise?”

Eddie grinned, one that you knew meant he knew that he was winning you over. “We’re in Miami, trust me – it’s easier to hide in a bigger city.” He hesitated for a moment before gathering his curls into a ponytail, wrapping it around the base, a high bun sat at the top of his head.

Something incredibly close to butterflies, but felt more like velociraptors, roared away in your stomach. Shit, you’d forgotten how good he looked with his hair up. Eddie glanced at you quickly before stuffing his hair under a baseball cap. Pushing a pair of sunglasses onto his face, he opened his arms and did a twirl.

“It’s night out, only weirdos wear sunglasses at night,” you said, laughing when he snorted.

“It’s Miami.”

You laughed. “Alright, fine, you win. I’m bringing back-up though,” you said, going to the safe and grabbing your handgun.

“Do you really need to bring that?” Eddie frowned.

“Eddie, I’m here for your protection,” you stressed, not liking it either. “There are literal deranged fanatics trying to kill you.”

He sighed but relented as you placed it in its holder and pulled a hoodie over it. “What if they just want an autograph? They could be completely rational people.”

“Someone sent me a package last week that we had to scan for explosives, Edward,” you said, opening the door.

Shrugging, he relented. “You know, sometimes you’re right.”

“Sometimes? More like all the times. Hey, no detours, okay?”

Eddie crossed his heart and held up four fingers. “Scout’s honor!”

“You were never a scout and they use their right hand to salute. It’s also three fingers not four,” you said, watching Eddie smirk as the elevator took you both down to the lobby.

Skin itching at the busy streets, you kept alert and vigilant. Eddie’s elbow bumped into yours and you frowned. “Come on, loosen up a little, we’re fine,” Eddie said, tugging his hat on lower.

“For now,” you muttered, sticking your hands into your pockets.

“You’re just a ray of sunshine,” Eddie said, leading you towards the pizzeria at the corner. “Has anyone told you that?”

Raising a brow, you watched him hold the door open for a couple and ushered you in. “You know what I do for a living, right?”

“One cheese pie to go please,” Eddie said, placing a few bills on the counter.

“To go?” You said. “Thought you wanted to live a little?”

Eddie smiled at your imitation of him. “We are, we’re gonna eat on the boardwalk.”

“Eddie,” you groaned. At least a restaurant had less variables you needed to watch over.

“Ah, ah, ah,” he said, thanking the cashier as he handed over the pizza box, “we’re going.”

The beach was visible from the pizzeria. You could smell the saltwater – hear the ocean crashing into the shore. “Eddie-”

“Oh, come on,” he said, grabbing your hand and tugging you forward. Your skin tingled and at the sight of a few people eyeing Eddie curiously, you intertwined your fingers together. He blinked down at your hands, shooting you a surprised look. Darting your eyes to the attention you were getting; Eddie nodded and pulled your joined hands closer as he pulled you under his arm.

This close to him, your sides bumping as you walked, you got hit face first with his scent. It hadn’t changed much since you’d last been this close to him. Woodsy, a bit minty, and something uniquely Eddie.

Smoke, you realized, he didn’t smell like cigarettes anymore. Now that you realized, you hadn’t seen him smoke at all.

“Did you quit smoking?” You asked.

Eddie smiled. “I was wondering when you’d ask,” he said, “yeah, a long time ago now. When we still lived in Hawkins.”

“Really,” you said, raising your brows. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” he said, sitting down cross-legged on the wooden bench facing the water. Despite the crowded streets, it seemed that the beach was mostly empty. A couple to the far left were walking away from you, two little specks in the distance. “Since you asked a question, do I get to ask one back?”

You picked up your slice and nodded. “Twenty questions?” You asked around a mouthful.

Eddie nodded, swallowing his own bite. “Do you still talk to everyone from home?”

“I didn’t have many friends outside the party,” you said, surprised that that was his first question. “Not after Will disappeared. I – I don’t regularly keep up with most of our friends either. Robin, Steve and I have a weekly phone call where I mostly listen to them bicker-” Eddie laughed and nodded.

“That sounds like them.”

You shrugged. “Aside from El, Max, and Lucas – I don’t speak to anyone else that often. Hopper, obviously, but Will is off doing his own things. Being adults,” you said, shooting him a look, “Will’s stuff is beautiful. I managed to catch his last gallery and he sent me my favorite piece in the mail. It hangs in my living room and I love it.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, looking out to the ocean. “He’s really good.”

“Dustin is busy being a literal genius and Mike, well, is-”

“-usually around me?” He finished for you.

Smiling sheepishly, you nodded. “Gareth is the only one I called semi-regularly. He sends me postcards from wherever you guys are, you know?”

“I didn’t, the little shit,” he said, frowning. “I guess it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one.”

“The only one what?”

“The only one left out,” he said with a self-deprecating smile that just about broke your heart. Before you the shards could surface, Eddie stood and dusted the crumbs off his shirt. “Want to take a walk?”

Lump in your throat growing, you nodded.

“It’s your turn,” he said, tucking his hands into his pockets. With a quick glance around, you slipped your flats off and let your toes dig into the sand. Feeling a little more calibrated, you let your gaze fall to the push and pull of the ocean.

“When did you know things were changing for the better with the band?” You asked, betraying the tiny piece of you that craved answers and the small details of the time you’d missed.

Eddie smiled. “The first time someone recognized me on the street. We’d been doing a lot of opening acts for moderately known bands on tour. We generated enough interest that we started working on a debut album. I was writing a ton and our label decided to give us a very tentative shot. We were out for some food and this guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me if I was Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin.” Eddie mimed his head exploding and you grin.

“I would’ve paid to have seen your face,” you said, bumping your elbow with his, “you guys deserve it.”

“Thanks,” he said, ducking his head like he wasn’t an international rockstar at this point. “How did you get into security? Last I remember, you wanted to be a teacher but you studied psychology?”

You shrugged, memories bubbling to the surface. “I think Hopper just found me at the right time. I was so…angry all the time. I’d shifted from sad to just pissed off – even Max steered clear of me for a while. I needed an outlet, so my roommate pushed me to tag along to her self-defense class. It was Krav Maga and I learned how to take someone down that day. It felt exhilarating.”

Eddie snickered. “Only you’d get excited about violence sweetheart.”

“Shut up,” you said, flustered, “the point is, I’d started picking up a few things and the instructor asked if I’d ever considered Judo. I said no, I didn’t really have the time, but I went to a class once a week for a year. I think, I was just fed up with feeling helpless. I’d watched so many of our friends fight for their lives, I wanted to feel like…well, like I had some sort of control I guess.”

“That makes sense, given the circumstances,” Eddie said, looking pensive. “Wanting control in a situation where you felt like you had none.”

“Exactly!” You said, smacking his shoulder excitedly. Eddie shot you a grin and you stumbled. “Well, Hopper found me right as I was graduating. He’d just started his company and needed help. I went from a class a week to four a week and a boatload of training. I helped scout some people and it went off from there.”

Eddie smiled at you, the moonlight casting a shimmer to his skin. “Who would’ve thought, Mayfield, a professional ass-kicker,” you shoved him and he laughed, the sound shooting down your spine. “It suits you though, you look happy.”

“I am,” you said, shrugging, “at least with my career. I’ve been in some tight situations but the people I’ve saved or protected, they’re all great people. It’s thrilling really.”

“I can imagine.”

A question bounced around your mind, reminiscent of an old conversation with Steve, and you pushed yourself to ask. “Who was your first after…after I left?”

Eddie stumbled and you instinctively reached out to steady him. “Jeez, Mayfield, you really choose the hard hitters.”

Mortified, you straightened. “Sorry, you don’t have to-”

“No, no, it’s fine. We…we were friends for longer than we were anything else. Even after everything, after all the years, you can always ask me anything. Time and complicated feelings don’t change the fact that we were friends. We are friends.”

“Yeah?” You asked, both embarrassed at the earnest tone in your voice and pleased.

And for the first time since you’d seen each other, without any cameras present, Eddie pulled you into his arms. He hooked his chin over your shoulder and exhaled. “Yeah. We might be the weirdest, most complicated friends to exist, but what we went through was too strong to be destroyed by something as finnicky as time.”

Embarrassed by the sudden pressure behind your eyes, you squeezed Eddie tightly. “I’m sorry, Eddie.” You wondered if the words would ever be enough.

“I’m sorry too.” After a minute, you both stepped back and continued walking forward. “And to answer your question – her name was Emily. She was, predictably, your complete opposite. It took a while but she was good for me.”

“What happened?” You asked.

Eddie shrugged, a flicker of regret flashing through his expression. “A whole mix of things. Our schedule was starting to pick up and in the early days we had to go where the shows were. You know how that goes, so much time away – she couldn’t always come with, and I don’t know. We just fell apart. Can I tell you a secret though?”

“Always.”

“I was going to propose the week we broke up,” Eddie laughed and you stared at him incredulously. “No, really. It’s crazy how a week can change your entire life. Well, I learned that years ago but, it’s old news by now.”

“That sucks,” you sighed, surprised by the complete lack of jealousy you felt. It really did suck; you’d gone through enough break ups to know they always hurt.

“What about you?”

You bit back a smile. “What about me?”

Eddie groaned and waved a hand in the air. “Come on, don’t make me drag it out of you.”

“Alright, alright,” you said, glancing back out to the water, “I…didn’t really have one serious relationship. Robin says she thinks I run from commitment but it’s deeper than that. I have a whole chunk of myself that’s permanently changed because of what I’ve been through. How do you cultivate something without sharing that?”

“You should, you know, share it,” Eddie said.

“I know but, no one felt right,” you sighed. “Steve’s favorite is this financial guy I dated for three months. He actually proposed to me.”

Eddie sputtered; expression shocked. “After three months? Did he even know you?”

“Hey!”

“Mayfield, we met the first week of our senior year and it took us almost the entire year to confess that we liked each other,” Eddie said, laughing when you balked.

“Yeah, and I was the one who confessed first! You don’t get any credit for that!”

Hands out, placating, he agreed. “You’re right, you’re right – sorry, continue.”

Stopping at a nearby boulder, Eddie plopped down and you followed suit. “It’s your turn,” you said softly, not wanting to break the easy mood you both had created.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t ever ask you this,” Eddie said, mouth twisting, “but it’s been eating at me. Why didn’t you ask me to come with you?”

The familiar inky grip of guilt tightened in your chest and you struggled to breathe through it. “Because Wayne was in Hawkins. He had a really good job there and everyone else stayed behind. The kids still finished out school, Robin went to college nearby, you needed that. Look, it took me years of therapy to realize this but, you needed to heal through your support system. They were there, in Hawkins. I needed to heal by finally creating distance. If you would’ve asked me to stay, I would’ve,” the admission was torn from your mouth before you could stop it.

Eddie’s surprise eclipsed his face. At his silence, you swallowed around the lump in your throat.

“I would’ve ended up resenting you for it. My sister almost died. She still has a limp, you know? She tries to hide it but I know her bones ache and there are scars that time won’t ever heal. We all have ghosts but I couldn’t keep living in the same house as mine. I knew you deserved more than a broken girl who would’ve turned into a broken woman.”

“I think I knew that on some level, it was just always easier to be the wounded one,” Eddie admitted.

“I don’t blame you for however you needed to cope,” you said, reaching out for his hand, “we do what we need to, to survive. Eventually though, life needs to be more than just surviving and you’re doing that.”

Eddie’s fingers trailed across your palm, tickling your skin and you sighed. “You do have the makings of a good shrink you know.”

“I know,” you said, laughing when he shot you a look. “Tell me a secret.”

“That’s not a question.”

“Will you tell me a secret?”

He huffed a soft laugh and nodded. “I kept the card you gave me that Valentine’s Day,” he whispered, his words almost drowned out by the waves, “it’s in my apartment in New York but, it’s in a box next to my diploma and other important stuff. I couldn’t bring myself to throw it out.” Pulling one of his hands from yours, he pulled one of his necklaces out from under his collar and your eyes zeroed in on the red guitar pick.

“I can’t believe you still have that,” you said, fingers reaching out to touch the warm plastic. Eddie’s inhale was sharp and you immediately brought your hand back.

“I wear it on the days I feel like I need an extra bit of courage,” he admitted.

You smiled, a little confused. “What?”

“Don’t you know?” Eddie asked, tilting his head back, eyes knowing. “You’re the bravest person I know, Mayfield.” The wind blew his bangs around his temples, the hair whipping from beneath the cap. “I wear it when I feel like I need to borrow some of that bravery.”

The intimacy of the admission made you shiver. Your skin brimming to the edge with the words, Eddie’s eyes betraying his accidental vulnerability.

Not one to be outdone, you tried to even the playing field. “I kept one of your Hellfire t-shirts. I wear it when I need comfort. It’s soft as shit and reminds me of happier times. My neighbor even knows I wear it when I feel like crap. It just…helps after one of those days where just about everything goes wrong, you know?”

“Yeah, boss, I know,” he said, gazes catching. Something you couldn’t decipher shifted in his eyes and you felt those damn velociraptors flutter awake. “We’re a mess,” he said, repeating your words from that second night.

“We’re definitely something,” you said, smiling when he snorted. You both watched the water for a few minutes, the line between ocean and sky blurred.

“We…we could’ve had something right? It wasn’t just me? I think about it sometimes, get lost in my own head about whether I’ve imagined our connection. If the depth of us was just one-sided or if we ever really had anything at all.”

Your chest hurt at the sound of his voice wavering, but you kept your eyes on the missing horizon as you answered. “Yeah. We could’ve. We’re an almost and those hurt more than tangible things sometimes. Because you know that if it had the right environment, it would’ve bloomed into the best flower out of the bunch. And you…you, Eddie Munson, are the best, most painful kind of almost.”

“That’s a new one,” Eddie said, eyes burning into you. “I went to see you once. At the California office.”

“What?” You said, shocked.

“You weren’t there. You were on some assignment in New York, ironically. Hopper said it was for some pianist?”

Ah, George Shearing.

“I saw Max though – she’d just started college and swore she could teach me to surf in weekend,” he laughed, stuck in the memory, “I told her not to tell you. I took it as a sign – we could only try so many times, you know?”

You hadn’t known that he’d tried to see you – that if you’d only just delayed that trip for a week you would have.

“Are those songs about me? I don’t want to be that girl who assumes but, I’d always wondered,” you admitted, not able to bring yourself to look at him.

In your peripheral, you watched Eddie smile with a relieved sort of expression. “All my good songs are about you, Mayfield. How could they not be? You’re seared into my memory, into who I am now.” He stood after that, dusting his pants off, and offered his hand. “If we’re an almost, then you’re my favorite almost.”

Taking the offered hand, you let him haul you back to your feet. “You’re my favorite almost, too.”

Eddie grinned, the unhindered, wild grin that you remembered. “It seems we’ve made a habit of having all our serious conversations by a beach,” he said.

Where the hell was he? You frowned, checking the time. Digging your toes further into the sand, you sighed and watched the lake ripple as a duck landed onto the surface. A flash of bright lights had you scrambling to your feet.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Eddie said, tripping out his van. “I – had a shift at the shop run late, someone brought their shitty mustang in and then I was trying to find any store that was open, but of course none were, I mean - whatever, it doesn’t matter.”

Confused at the speed of his words, you watched him walk over to you. “Eddie?”

“Yeah, sorry. I got your, uh, gift,” Eddie said, words stumbling over each other. You heart leapt into your throat and your eyes immediately dropped to your feet.

“And?”

A soft finger at your chin tilted your face back up to his. His eyes were molten in the moonlight, wide and curious. “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

Eddie smiled half-heartedly, recognizing your teasing. “Are you going to make me say it?”

Nodding, you bit the inside of your cheek and tried to drudge up every bit of your courage.

“Do you…do you really love me?” Eddie’s voice cracked and your stomach fluttered dangerously at it.

“Yeah, I think I have for a while now,” you admitted. “I know we haven’t been friends for as long as you and the guys have – honestly, I don’t know how we never noticed each other before senior year. I-I don’t know when it changed, only that it did.”

Eddie’s thumb traced your bottom lip and his gaze deepened. Squaring your shoulders, you inhaled. “I love you, Eddie.”

His answering smile crashed into you like waves onto the shore. “I love you too, sweetheart.”

Elated, you brought your hands up to his wrists. “Really?” You breathed.

His eyes darted between yours, eyelashes kissing his cheeks. “Yes,” he whispered right before pressing your lips to his.

Shaking your head, clearing the memory from the front of your mind, you dusted sand off your clothes. “Come on, we both need to wash off this sand and we still have that early call time,” you said, nudging him forward.

“This sand?” He asked.

You turned to look at him at the same moment he kicked some up at your legs. You gaped. “Did you just-” you sputtered as he kicked up more sand towards you. Without waiting for your response, he cackled and darted up towards the boardwalk.

“Come back here you shithead!” You screamed, laughing as you chased him back up the beach.

///

“You, Robin, and Dustin could really rule the world, you know,” Eddie said from the sofa in his hotel room, where he was gazing at you lazily.

Rain pelted the thick glass to your left, the curtains pulled open so that you could both watch in fascination as the sudden tropical storm wreaked havoc against the river in downtown Chicago.

Smiling, you glanced around at his dark hotel room – the glow sticks and lanterns from your emergency kit casting a warm low light against the walls. You’d all barely returned from another rehearsal and security walkthrough when the lights had suddenly cut out. It’d taken you ten seconds to slam the adjoining door open and run towards Eddie, who had been face planted into his bed and half asleep.

Immediately calling Robin, you both figured out that the power was out to whole hotel. Julian’s team had reached out to assure you that the floors had been cleared, your and Dustin’s protocol followed down to the smallest instruction, and confirmed that it was a city-wide issue. The ETA for the power being back on was two hours. The hotel generator was only managing to keep common areas on, and the elevators, and anyone was welcome downstairs for some light and free food.

“Don’t you forget it,” you said, pointing to him, the phone still cradled between your shoulder and your ear.

The receptionist tinny voice echoed in your ear. “Ms. Mayfield? Yes, apologies for the wait. Your food delivery is in the lobby. Would you like us to receive it and bill the room?”

“No, thank you,” you answered, “I’ll be right down. Tell him I’ll just be a minute!”

“Of course.”

Grabbing your wallet, you pointed at the door. “Lock it behind me and do not open-”

“-the door for anyone that isn’t you, I know,” he said, propping his chin onto his hand. “I’m going to hop in for a quick shower anyway. Just take my key.”

Ignoring him, a thought suddenly came to mind. “I should probably call and check on the venue, see if there’s any damage,” you mused to yourself, reaching out for paper to write that down.

“Or,” Eddie called out, “you let the storm blow over, relax for a minute, and check on them in the morning.”

Grumbling at his laughter, you made your way downstairs.

The deliveryman gaped at you, soaked to the bone, as you handed him a generous tip. “Are you sure?” He sputtered, looking barely out of high school.

“Be safe, okay?” You said, turning to share a smile with the receptionist sitting close by. She placed the pack of cards on the table, next to monopoly, and you smiled. “Thank you!”

“No problem Ms. Mayfield. If you need anything else, please let us know.”

You waited a fair bit for the only working elevator, the attendant apologizing every few minutes. Waving away his apology, you offered him a spring roll from the massive takeout bag. Surprised, he shook his head, but smiled at your offer. Taking a bite out of your own, you smiled at a few kids running out and towards the sitting room behind you.

“Ow, hot, hot,” you grimaced as you accidentally shifted the bag in your arms too far. Dropping the rest of your spring roll into the bag, you wiped your hands on your pants and pulled out the key card.

Throwing the door open with your foot, you took another bite of your spring roll before placing the bag down on the low coffee table. “Food’s here!” You shouted, eyes catching on the video you’d both wanted to watch after dinner. Shit. “We’re going to have to return the movie and hope they’ve got a Family Video or something by the hotel. I really wanted to watch this one-” choking around your mouthful, you blinked as Eddie emerged from the bathroom.

The white towel hung low around his hips and you became intoxicated with the rivulets of water that sped down his chest from his hair. Swallowing around the sudden lump in your throat, it wasn’t the surprising clear definition of his muscles, or the hair – Jesus Christ on a stick the hair – that caught your attention. It was the scars that were littered across his chest.

The pale, jagged, lines most notable on his ribs and across his hip. And as if against your will, your eyes started to well up. You’d seen Eddie shirtless a few times before…before and seeing him after just reminded you of how close he’d been to death. You’d held the skin together on the one around his ribs, your jacket pressed against his wounds.

“Eddie, open your eyes – keep your eyes on me! Eddie! Sweetheart, please, please, don’t leave me too, you can’t! Nance, the blood – the blood-”

“Mayfield?” Eddie’s confused eyes swam into your blurred vision, crossing the room to stand by you. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Wordlessly, you reached out a hand and trailed a finger across a small scar by his collarbone. Shivering, Eddie froze in place. “Oh,” he said, glancing down at himself as if he’d forgotten he was half-naked. “Yeah, you haven’t – you didn’t see them before. Aren’t they something?”

“You’re beautiful Eddie, with and without them,” you said adamantly, surprised by your own tone. It didn’t matter in the end, because you couldn’t live in a world where Eddie didn’t know that he deserved the world.

His warm, ringless, hand hesitated before cradling your cheek. “Why are you crying?” He asked, this thumb catching the tear that had managed to escape.

“I don’t know,” you said, tentatively placing your palm on his side. He inhaled sharply, eyes fluttering for a moment before settling back on you. “I was so mad at you. When I saw you lying in Dustin’s lap, I was so mad and so scared…”

“I’m okay,” he said, ducking to catch your gaze. “Hey, I’m okay. I’m like a cockroach. Some ol’ demon isn’t going to get me.”

You half-smiled at him and his ridiculous brow wiggle.

“I’m pretty sure you’re the one who kept this one together,” Eddie said, voicing your thoughts, pointing at where your hand rested. “I never said thanks for that, you know.”

Shaking your head, you found yourself ducking down. The only explanation you had was the fact that a ghost must have possessed you because, before you knew it, you had pressed your lips to the large scar.

As you straightened, Eddie’s grip on your arm tightened, his shoulders trembling. You darted your eyes up to his, about to apologize for your temporary insanity, when your mouth dried.

His eyes were heated, a look that shot directly to your chest and traveled down to your belly. Toes curling in your sneakers, you swallowed thickly. Your tongue darted out in a desperate attempt to wet your lips but as his eyes followed the motion, your mind went fuzzy.

Both of you swayed forward and you realized he was close enough that you could see the faint lines around his eyes. You gazed at him, categorizing the subtle differences ten years made and nearly smiled when you saw the two familiar small freckles at his neck.  

“These were always my favorite,” you whispered, a confession meant to be kept to yourself. Suddenly, a memory of you worrying them between your teeth flashed through your mind and you brought your eyes back up to his. You watched, fascinated, as his Adam’s apple bobbed once.

“Sweetheart,” he said, voice an absolute wreck, as his hand fell to his side, “you’re killing me.”

Cupping his jaw, thumb caressing his cheek, you jumped when his hand came up to your wrist. He kept your hand there, his eyes darkening, and you felt your breathing turn shallow. Jesus, you wanted to rake your hands through the hair in his chest so badly you were practically salivating.

The silence of the room was suffocating, you wanted to crawl out your skin. His eyes branded you as they darted across your face, as if memorizing you, and you bit the inside of your lip.

Both of you swayed again, inching closer.

Then, suddenly enough to startle you, the lights in the room flickered on. The electricity in the building seemed to hum in unison for a moment, before settling.

What the fuck were you doing?

You blinked, realizing just how close you’d gotten, and you jumped back. Wrapping your arms around yourself like armor, you kept your eyes on the floor and shook your head. “I-I’m so sorry. I, uh, the food’s on the table. I’m not – I’m going to go back to my room.” Without waiting for a reply, you turned on your heel and started for the adjoining door.

Quick footsteps and a hand wrapping itself around your wrist stopped you. Closing your eyes for a moment, you begged yourself to stay professional before turning to Eddie.

“The food,” he said, after a beat of silence, “you didn’t eat.”

Shit. “Right, uh, I’ll just grab my-”

“And the power is back on, so we can watch that movie you wanted,” he said, hand dropping from yours. You watched him rub his neck and you realized he was actually nervous. Eddie Munson was awkwardly nervous.

Stunned, you blinked at him.

“We both have a late start tomorrow, for the first time this entire tour,” he said taking a few steps back towards the bathroom. “Besides, you owe me.”

Indignation flashed through you. “What?” You sputtered, awkwardness falling away. “How the hell do I owe you? I’m the one who kept that crazy fan off you this morning.” You crossed your arms.

Eddie beamed, shaking off his own uncertainty, and shrugged. “You just do. Get the movie on, Mayfield. I’ll be…right back,” he said, grabbing a change of clothes and you absolutely did not watch his shoulder blades shift in fascination as he walked away.

Grabbing the food out the bag, you settled on the couch, crossing your legs. What the fuck was that? You asked yourself, barely resisting the urge to rub a hand down your face. For fuck’s sake, you kissed his chest. Had you actually lost your mind?

It didn’t look like he’d minded, your mind supplied unhelpfully.

Shut up, you told it.

But the damage was done, your mind was reeling, and you realized it hadn’t looked like he minded. In fact, it looked like he’d been leaning down-

“You better not have eaten all the spring rolls,” Eddie said, grabbing the remote and flipping the lights off. He flopped down onto the cushion next to yours and you quirked your brow. “What? No one watches movies with the lights on, Mayfield.”

Shooting him a look he ignored, you smiled when he placed another spring roll into your container. The opening credits started and you laughed as Eddie ran commentary, as always.

After quickly eating most the food, you both sunk into the cushions comfortably. Halfway through the film, you felt his hand come up to yours. He nudged you and you blinked up at him, confused. He nudged you again and you let him intertwine your fingers. Eddie’s answering smile warmed you.

Without overthinking, you let your head come down to Eddie’s shoulder.

The character on screen pressed a kiss to her daughter’s head as she ran out the door. You weren’t sure when you’d forgotten how easy it was to just…exist with Eddie. The way he radiated sunshine and how its rays warmed you from the inside out. You didn’t know how you’d existed without it for so long. It was easy to forget when you didn’t have it within your grasp, but now that you did – you didn’t think wanted to let it go.

///

“Hey!” Robin said as you opened the door to your hotel. She was dressed in an incredibly tailored suit and you let out a low whistle. She waved a hand, giving you a knowing grin. “I look good, right?”

“So humble too,” you teased, letting her in. “You’re early.”

She shrugged, draping herself across your unmade bed. “I got ready quicker than I needed to. Thought I’d come down and bother my favorite person in the hotel.”

“I’m telling Eddie you said that,” you joked.

Robin’s brows wiggled. “Talking about Eddie…”

You groaned, clasping the necklace you’d bought in Chicago around your neck. “Robin, please.”

“I can’t help but notice that you two have been getting along recently.”

“We’re friends.”

“Right, and friends always check out the other’s rack when they think no one is looking?” Robin asked, propping herself up on her elbow.

Hands stumbling, you dropped one of your converse onto the floor. “Jesus Christ Buckley, why don’t you just scream it?”

“Scream what?” A second voice asked. You jumped, shrieking when you saw Gareth leaning against the doorframe of the connecting door.

“Gareth!” You said, chucking a brush at him. “What have we said?”

He sighed. “It’s not smart to scare you because you could karate chop my head off my shoulders,” he said, pouting like a ten-year-old.

“Don’t worry Gareth, we were just talking about how close her and Eddie seemed to have gotten this past week,” Robin said, glint in her eyes. You closed your eyes, reminding yourself that you’d eventually miss Robin if you killed her.

“I have a bet going with the rest of the guys,” Gareth whispered loudly, “Jeff’s winning.”

“Excuse me?” You sputtered.

Gareth shrugged. “I thought the two of you were braver than you are.”

“I-I-” Words failed, really they did. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“No? Considering earlier today at breakfast you came in from working out and Gareth had to practically reattach Eddie’s jaw back to his face after seeing you in a sports bra.”

“Plenty of people wear sports bras to work out!” You said defensively.

Snorting, Robin nodded. “I know, you’re just the only one he’s got eyes for.”

You felt yourself grow flustered, not able to really handle anymore. You’d known that things had shifted after that night. You’d spent the last four days going over it in your mind. You were both playing with fire and you wanted to be sure that – if anything shifted – you wanted this. You’d already left a town of people behind; you weren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

Unfortunately, you hadn’t gotten any closer to an answer, to any type of resolution to all of this. But it seemed to help that Eddie sounded just as confused.

What didn’t help was that you could practically feel his eyes on you, like a physical touch, and you couldn’t exactly keep your own eyes to yourself. Something had changed, or changed back, and you didn’t know what to do with that.

Gareth and Mike had already separately brought it up and you were mortified. Robin, as always, took great pleasure in fucking with you.

Saving you, the hotel phone rang and you dove for it. “Hello?”

“Good evening, Ms. Mayfield,” the receptionist greeted. “I’m calling to inform you that your party has started to arrive.”

“Thank you, we’ll be right down,” you said, hanging up the phone. “Everyone’s starting to arrive.”

You’d landed in Indianapolis early morning and had spent all day prepping as usual. Robin, like the mastermind she was, had managed to reserve a private room in the popular restaurant downstairs. She’d all but blackmailed the party into flying out for the concert tomorrow.  

“Eddie,” you called out, “everyone’s downstairs!”

“Coming!” He answered, his head popping through the doorframe a minute later. His eyes found yours first, as always. “You look great.”

Opening your mouth – Robin beat you to it. “Thanks Munson,” she said, swinging an arm around his shoulders. You watched as a blush crawled up from his neck.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed your bag and opened the door. “Come on, Dustin and Lucas will eat through the entire restaurant if we don’t hurry up.”

“I’m telling him you said that,” Gareth said.

Without much maneuvering, you had him a headlock the entire ride down. Robin and Eddie laughed as you walked out into the lobby with him still in your grasp.

“I’m going to pass out,” he complained, his hands reaching out to tickle your sides.

Jumping away, you growled. “That’s cheating!”

Dramatically gasping for air, he ran a hand through his hair and glared.

“Watch yourself, that’s my sister you’re scowling at,” a voice called out behind you both. Whipping your head around, you found the familiar red hair and freckled face. Not wasting a second, you ran towards her.

Slamming into each other, you wrapped your arms tightly around her small frame. The smell of her shampoo surrounded you and you felt yourself ease. “Hey Mad Max,” you whispered, leaning back to get a good look at her.

It’d only been four months since you’d seen her last, but you always felt like a piece of you slotted into place when you did.

“Hey boss,” she teased, laughing when you peppered her cheek with kisses. She squealed, the sound making you grin and you ruffled her hair. “Where’s- oomph.”

A blur of blue slammed into your side and you kept a hand on Max’s shoulder for balance. El’s wide smile beamed up at you and you grinned. “Ellie,” you said, laughing when your silly nickname caused her smile to widen. “I haven’t seen you since Christmas,” you said, wrapping your arms around her small waist and lifting her up off the ground. She laughed, the sound filling you with warmth. If anyone deserved complete unrestrained happiness, it was Eleven.

“I missed you,” she said, squeezing you once before letting you go.

“I missed you too.”

Another voice joined. “Why don’t I ever get greeted like that? It’s always move Sinclair, you’re blocking my sister,” Lucas mimicked.

Rolling your eyes, you smacked the back of his head before bringing him in for hug. “How’re the Lakers?”

“Good, got an earful from my coach about keeping to my diet,” he said, scrunching his nose.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t my favorite employee,” Hopper’s voice boomed in the lobby.

You whipped your head around and narrowed your eyes. “If it isn’t my severely unprofessional boss,” you said, cracking and letting him bring you into a hug.

He leaned away, eyes darting across your face. “You seem different.”

“Yeah, I’m probably going prematurely grey from the stress these idiots give me,” you said.

Hopper shook his head. “You look happy, like you’ve lost some of those weights off your legs.”

“Don’t start,” you said, holding a hand up. “You’ll all be the death of me before the night is over.”

Robin clapped her hands twice, Steve Harrington already at her side – as per usual. He shot you a wide grin when you caught his eye. “This is all wonderful and everything but we got reservations I had to trade a kidney for. So, move it or lose it nerds!”

You all sat down, doors separating you from the rest of the restaurant firmly closed, and you thanked Julian’s guys stationed at the front.

Feeling a weird sense of déjà vu, you watched everyone you cared about bicker, catch up, and hug each other. Nancy sat to your left; her arm linked through yours as she told Will about her most recent news story.

The food had only just arrived when you realized there was a steak on a plate on Eddie’s right. “Hey, who’s that-”

“Sorry I’m late everyone, the traffic on the highway was a bitch.”

Spine straightening, you stood and watched Wayne walk through the doors. His eyes found yours and you almost broke in two at the way they softened for you. Turning to glance at Eddie, you watched him shoot you a small knowing smile.

For most of your last year in Hawkins, Wayne Munson had been the only responsible parental figure you, Eddie, or Max had. You’d lost the number of times he’d cook you two breakfast or given you a ride to work when Eddie wasn’t home. Affection hadn’t come easy to him but he’d never turned you away when you reached for a hug. His scruff would tickle as he pressed a quick kiss to the top of your head before leaving for work most nights.

Wayne Munson was the man who’d displayed the Christmas card you’d given him when the one you’d tried to send to your dad was sent back with a bright red RETURN TO SENDER. The mug you’d gotten him was displayed right in the middle of that old trailer.

“Well, look at you, all grown up,” Wayne said, hands going to his hips. “You lost my number or something? Just because my kid probably done and messed things up didn’t mean you couldn’t have called me once or twice among the years. I’ve saved your postcards though, every single one.”

Tears building in your eyes, you flung yourself into his arms and it took everything in you not to immediately break out into tears. “I’m sorry,” you said quietly, “I didn’t mean to stay away for so long.”

“That’s alright,” he said, thumping you twice on the back. “You’re here now and from what I hear, you been running a tight ship.”

Feeling merciful, the guys nodded, complaining instantly about your overboard security measures. Walking back down to your seat, you swiped a finger below your eyes and smiled when Wayne pressed a kiss to Max’s temple. “Hey Red.”

“Hi Wayne,” she said, beaming up at him. “Haven’t seen you since the summer. The new television holding up okay?”

“Course, you’re the one who helped me fix it,” he said, ruffling her hair. Wayne made his way down the table towards Eddie, settling down next to him.

Eddie’s eyes found yours again, concern swimming in them. You smiled, letting him know you were okay, just a little overwhelmed.

Halfway through dinner, you felt Hopper’s arm settle on the top of your chair behind you. “You can thank me with some scotch for the assignment,” he said, the glint in his eyes teasing.

“Right, and what am I thanking you for?”

Hopper rolled his eyes. “That, Mayfield, is the look of a man in love,” he said and you couldn’t help but glance towards Eddie, who was – in fact – looking at you. He smiled and you whipped your gaze back to Hopper. “You can’t be that blind,” he huffed. “You’re a smart girl. You’ll catch up eventually.”

“We did,” Joyce said, her soft voice coming from Hopper’s right. She smiled at you, her hand reaching for yours. “Don’t let him bully you.”

“Although,” Nancy said, joining the quiet conversation. “I really would’ve sworn that you two would’ve ended up together.”

“They would’ve, they still probably will,” Lucas, across from you said, voice a touch too loud for your liking. “You all see the way they stare at each other, right? It’s been two hours and I’m sick of it.”

“This is a job,” you insisted, “I’m suppose to make sure he’s – they’re all okay.”

“Not now,” Nancy insisted, “back then. When we were all still in high school.”

Your heart stopped and you felt your arms go numb. The two of you hadn’t told anyone – it’d only barely just happened when shit hit the fan. Then you turned and ran out of town before the leaves could settle.

“Shit, yeah,” Robin huffed, “do you remember the looks? God the yearning we had to put up with.”

Mike snorted. “It was, and still is, annoying. The campaigns always ended early when she sat in on them, like Eddie couldn’t wait to get rid of us.” Your pulse echoed in your ears and you darted a nervous look to the opposite end of the table. Eddie was in a deep conversation with the band, Dustin laughing at something Jeff had said.

“Remember Valentine’s Day? They got worse after that,” Lucas said. “Eddie practically ditched us every week.”

“And the nicknames?” Nancy added. “I thought it was sweet.”

Not able to handle more, you stood abruptly and you cleared your throat. “I’m going to go…to the bathroom. I’ll be right back,” you said, scurrying off before you could meet anyone’s eyes.

The hurried footsteps behind you let you know that you weren’t alone. Hands reaching for the sink, you tightened your grip on the edges. Looking up into the mirror, you saw Robin, Nancy, and Max’s worried faces.

“Was it too far? I’m sorry,” Nancy said immediately, her hands coming out to yours.

Robin, however, tilted her head. “No, that’s not it. What’s wrong?” Goddamn her.

Max answered for you. “They did date,” she said, coming up to your other side.

Your eyes shot up to her knowing ones and you balked. “What?” Robin sputtered, looking completely shocked. “I spent almost everyday with you. When the fuck did you two date?”

“How did you know?” You asked Max.

She shrugged, her hair falling to her back. “We lived across from his trailer, I could literally see you sneak out his window when Wayne would get home in the morning sometimes. Besides, it’s like they all said, anyone with eyes could see you two were gone for each other,” she said. “I know something changed in February. You two were different. I always felt guilty, after we moved, I felt like I…like I’d robbed you something.”

You’d moved to her side before you could even think. “You didn’t. Even if we had gotten together earlier, I wouldn’t have stayed in Hawkins. I couldn’t. I still can’t.”

Max smiled weakly, but you saw her nod before burrowing into your arms. “I’m sorry, we need to rewind a second,” Robin said, her voice a little too loud.

“I locked the door,” Nancy reassured you.

“What the fuck, why didn’t you tell me? Oh my God! I made you guys go on so many fucking dates just to fuck with you guys. Jesus Christ. I thought this was stupid yearning, a maybe we-kissed-once-while-drunk-or-high thing. Not that you guys actually dated!” Robin said, rubbing a hand down her face. “Holy shit.”

“They definitely did more than kiss,” Max said, laughing when you shot her a glare. “What? The trailer walls were thin and you were loud. Well, he was loud. Actually, you both were.”

“I’ll smother you,” you threatened, fighting the urge to run in mortification.

The three of them grinned, even Nancy, and you sighed. “This has been a bit much for me tonight. I – I need a moment.”

“Right,” Nancy said, ever the mediator. She gripped Robin’s arm and herded her out the door. “We’ll see you all tomorrow and the day after. I’ll tell everyone you have a stomachache and went upstairs.”

“Thank you,” you said, squeezing her hand.

“But- wait- I have more questions!”

“Which can wait for tomorrow,” Nancy whispered back. “Come on Buckley, we still have dessert to go through and I’ve got to grill you about Laura.”

“What! Who told!?” You managed to smile when Robin’s voice squeaked.

Splashing some water on your face, you hurried up to your room and almost jumped out your skin when a knock echoed a few minutes later.

Checking the peephole, you let your forehead drop against the door. Of course.

“Yes?” You said, opening it a few deep breaths later.

His concern evident, he took a few steps in and shut the door behind him. “Are you okay? Robin said you were throwing up?” His hands flew to your arms.

You reminded yourself to give her a good punch to the shoulder. “I’m fine,” you told him, opening your door to his room and giving it a sweep to have something to do.

“Wait, hold on a second,” he said, moving to follow after you and stopping once you sent him a glare.

Taking more than the necessary second to check through his hotel room, your thoughts bounced around wildly in your head.

What was he doing here? Did you really want to go down this rabbit hole again? Could the two of you even be friends again? How’d you feel if you saw him dating someone else? Did he want to even do this? What if you were getting ahead of yourself?

“I can hear you overthinking from out here,” he called out.

Shit.

You walked out, eyes landing on him in the doorframe immediately. The second you met his eyes, you felt something in the air shift.

“You’re not sick,” he said softly, almost like he didn’t want to disrupt anything.

Shaking your head, you wrung your hands together – suddenly nervous. You’d unarmed mercenaries before, other highly trained security personnel, shit – you’d decapitated a monster that had almost killed your sister. You’d stared down Russian soldiers in the face and spat at them.

But this, Eddie standing in the doorway, made you hesitate.

“Are we going to talk about it?” He asked, taking a step towards you.

You broke the eye contact, looking down at your fumbling hands. “About what?”

“You know what,” he said, taking another few steps into the room. He sighed when you didn’t look up at him. “Sweetheart, if you don’t – if I’ve read this wrong-”

Not able to let him think that he was alone in this, not again, you rushed to explain. “You haven’t. Read this wrong. At least I don’t think,” you threw your hands up, “I don’t know exactly what there is to read, Eddie. I’m…it’s been so long and what if we mess this up again?”

His entire expression transformed. “Mayfield.”

“What?” You huffed, crossing your arms.

Eddie smiled, brow rising, and you suddenly felt the urge to smack him. “Do you want to date me?”

“I’m scared,” you admitted. Eddie’s teasing expression softened into understanding.

“Me too. We can be scared together,” he said, outstretching his hand. You hesitated for a moment before intertwining your fingers together. “We can make up the rules as we go. It doesn’t need to be serious, or heavy, it can be whatever we want. We can relearn who we are now, see how these versions of us fit together.”

“I want that,” you said, the words some of the scariest you’ve said in a while.

Eddie beamed at you, his face practically splitting in two. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you said, because how could you not? Ever since you’d seen him lying there on the floor, your world had been spinning out of control. You had tried to steer it for a while but now you realized, it had just been spinning back to him. “I do.”

Both of you stood like idiots, smiling at the other, until Eddie’s eyes darted down to your lips.

The air crackled immediately in response; a soft current rippled through you. Unable to stop yourself, your own eyes dropped to his lips. You briefly wondered if he still made that noise when you bit down on his neck.

As if reading your mind, his hands trailed down to your hips, pulling you in. For a moment, a small moment, you let yourself be led – but clarity quickly slammed into you and you dodged his kiss.

Hurt, he turned around to look at you. “What – was that too fast?”

“No,” you said, breathing like you’d run a marathon. “I- we can’t.”

“Because?”

You shot him an incredulous look. “You’re a client! If we – if anything – it’d be unprofessional. I’m your employee. I’m literally being paid to be with you right now.”

“I mean technically you’re the label’s employee- ouch!” Eddie huffed, glaring at the pillow you’d tossed at him.

“No. There are no technicalities here. Not if it comes down to your safety,” you grumbled. “Shit, maybe I should reassign someone.”

Eddie straightened. “You can’t!”

“But-”

“The world already thinks you’re my girlfriend,” Eddie’s eyes sparkled at the word, “it wouldn’t make sense to reassign you. You can’t reassign this.”

You sighed when you realized he was right. Shit, were you compromised? Turning to argue, you watched something flash across his expression before he managed to school it back to neural. But this was you and him. You knew him too well. No one like to feel rejected, even if it was for a good reason.

Wanting to soothe any ache you’d inflicted, even if necessary or accidental, you walked up to him again. Placing a hand to his chest, you assured him. “If I wasn’t working, if I wasn’t on assignment. I would. I- you…you have a scar right here,” you said, tapping the edge of his collar.

“They’re everywhere, Mayfield,” he said with a ghost of a smile.

Closing your eyes, you let yourself have this one moment. Your index finger reached out to trace the scar. His skin prickled at the touch, hair standing on end. “It’s shaped like half a heart,” you said, tracing it over and over again. “I want to know what it tastes like. What it feels like under my tongue. I want to know if you still make the same noise when you’re desperate and needy. I want to know so badly it’s been driving me insane trying to deny that truth for the last two months.”

Eddie’s eyes darkened and you felt a small thrill trail down your spine at being able to have done so. “That’s not fair,” he said, voice hoarse.

“I wasn’t trying to be,” you said, not hiding behind your usual wall.

Eddie groaned at your look. “Fuck me,” he sighed, head thumping against the wall.

“I already told you,” you said, smiling cheekily, “I can’t.”

His eyes darkened further and your restraint was seconds from snapping. You waved a hand in the air and put more distance between the two of you. “Okay, okay, walk it off Munson.”

“Stop teasing me then,” he said, baring his teeth.

Alright, fair.

“There’s only a week left of this assignment. Seattle and then LA.”

Eddie nodded. “Then we’re free.”

“Yeah,” you said, both thrill and nervous, “then we’re free.”

///

“No!” A shout from the open doorway pulled you from your uneasy slumber. Sleep clung to your eyes, making everything a little fuzzy, but you let instinct take over. Grabbing the nearest weapon, you all but ran into Eddie’s room.

From a quick glance, you didn’t see anything out of place. Eddie laid on his side on the right, facing the door. You glanced into the bathroom and the open shower. When you glanced back at him, eyes and head clearer, you realized he was asleep. His face scrunched, expression a little anguished. You sat at the edge of the bed, hand coming up to his arm. “Eddie,” you said quietly, shaking him softly. “Eddie, it’s a dream. You’re dreaming.”

His eyes flew open, breath coming in scared pants, and he grabbed your arms tightly. “Are you – is everyone okay?” He stammered.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” you assured him, “it was a nightmare. It was just a nightmare.”

Except you knew that things were never just a nightmare.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, voice rough. “Did I wake you? Was I screaming?”

You shook your head, waving away his apologies. Running a hand down his head, you took his hand with the other. “We all get them. Are they – do they happen often?”

“Not as much as before,” he admitted, “they always come back when I’m finally feeling okay. Then they strike. It’s like they hide in the shadows for the right time.”

You smoothed the hair away from his face and traced a nonsensical shape into his palm. “I get it,” you told him, because you really, really did. “Do you need me to get you anything?”

Eddie hesitated and you frowned.

“What is it?”

“Can you – can you stay?” He asked a little shyly. “I won’t try anything, I swear.”

“A perfect gentleman?” You teased, knowing already that you wouldn’t be able to say no to him. He crossed his heart and you nodded. “If your hands wander, I’m smacking you in the morning.”

“That’s fine,” he said, pulling the blankets up to your chin. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” you said, yawning.

///

 You woke up slowly, burrowing your face into your pillow, you tried to fight off the day for a few more minutes.

Moving to shift onto your back after a few minutes, you found yourself unable to. You cracked open one eye and realized you weren’t in your bed. Head perking up, last night came back to you in a rush and you looked down to see an arm keeping you securely tucked. Eddie’s chest was practically molded into your back, his nose buried in your neck and breath tickling your skin.

Glancing at the time, you groaned. Shit, you needed to be up and downstairs in a few minutes. “Eddie,” you tapped his wrist softly, “I gotta get up.”

Groaning in response, Eddie pulled you tighter to him, his cheek coming to rest on your head. You, however, blinked at the new sudden pressure you felt against your hip. Trying your best to shift away, you ended up rubbing against him.

A sharp inhale hit your skin and you shut your eyes. Experimentally, you pressed back again, the curve of your hip hitting at the right angle. Eddie’s gritty voice hit your ear. “If you keep doing that, this will get interesting really quickly.”

Eddie’s grip on your waist loosened and you instinctively turned to face him. You both groaned this time, when it was now trapped between you. Eddie rocked forward, almost unconsciously, and you clenched your thighs.

“Eddie,” you said, eyes catching his. You watched, fascinated, as his pupils dilated. Unable to help yourself, you rocked your hips forward again. This time, Eddie panted, his breath hitting your cheeks and you realized your grip on his arm was painful.

“Mayfield,” he hissed, grip on your hip tightening.

Shaking your head, you rolled off the side of the bed and landed in a heap on the floor.

“Mayfield?” He called out, coming over to glance at you over the edge. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you said, trying to calm the embers in your – well, entire body. “We both need cold showers, breakfast, and to get going to the venue. Shit, I might need a drink at this rate.”

Eddie groaned, flopping back down onto the bed. “You and me both.”

You really couldn’t help but laugh.

///

Being back in California settled your nerves from the past week like a wave returning to the ocean. There was something about your home, the city you were born in, that calmed you.

Glancing around the packed club, the one the record label had rented out to celebrate the last concert of the national tour, you took note of all the exits again.

“You look like you’re having fun,” Robin said, dropping herself into the seat next to yours. Her elbow hit you in the side and you hissed. “Sorry, sorry, this place is fucking packed. The next person that accidentally bumps me is getting smacked.”

Suddenly, the booth you were in was surrounded. Everyone had returned with their drinks in hand, Eddie taking your other side and the guys sitting around the table. “Man, everyone from the tour is here! This is great!” Jeff said, excitedly sipping his pina colada. You smiled from behind your hand, his drink of choice hadn’t changed from high school and you couldn’t help  but find it endearing.

Robin straightened. “Wait, this is it,” she said, glancing at you and Eddie. “You’re leaving us after tonight.”

“Well, technically I get a week off and then I think I’ve got a politician’s daughter who needs me for the next month.”

“What?” Eddie said, turning to glance at you. “I thought you were taking a few weeks off. I’ll be in town until we leave for London.”

Oh. You thought he’d be going back to New York after your week off. Robin, clearly picking up on both your tones, stood up. “We need a round of shots. Hey! Can I get a round of shots?”

The entire group groaned and she shot you each a look. A waitress brought them over on a tray and she waved over the few of Julian’s team that had opted to come. The guys and girls smiled and picked up a few shots when Robin urged.

“I want to toast to the woman who swooped in and saved our ass these last two months. Mayfield,” she raised her shot glass, “you’re irreplaceable, the best of the best, and we’re sad to see you go but goddamn, do we love to watch you walk away.”

You sputtered, laugh loud enough to rival the bass coming from the speakers.

“To our new guys,” she said, turning to Julian’s crew, “we’re so glad you’re staying with us. Welcome to Hell. You’ll love it here.” With a salacious wink, she threw back two shots.

The entire group cheered, lifting their glasses and drinking to an end and new beginning.

“God damn,” you hissed, the tequila stinging on it’s way down. Burying your face into Eddie’s shoulder, his hand came up to the back of your head and you felt his laughter beneath your cheek.

“Want something to wash it down with?” He asked, offering up his beer. You scrunched your nose and pointed to the bar.

“Save my seat? I’m going to go get something else. I think I burned my tastebuds off, what the hell was that?” You hissed, kissing his cheek and walking off towards the bar.

The blonde at the end of the counter spotted you and shot you a warm smile. “Can I get you anything?”

Ordering a drink, you added an appetizer as an afterthought. “Actually, can I have two?” She nodded, placing the orders for you and asking what table you were sitting at. Waving away her offer, you pulled yourself onto a barstool. “I can wait, no worries!”

A Corroded Coffin song came on and you grinned as the entire room erupted into cheers. You bopped your head at your seat, singing softly along to the words. A hand came up to your back and you smiled. “I’m just waiting on the-” your voice trailed off when you realized it wasn’t Eddie. “Oh. Uh, hi?”

“Hello,” the guy said, eyes dropping to your chest. You scrunched your nose and pulled back. “Did we meet at that party in Beverly Hills?”

Shaking his hand off your body, you straightened. “No, we did not. Please don’t touch me.”

Instead of insulted, his eyes sparkled – as if rising to a challenge you hadn’t announced. “I’m sure I’ve seen you before – you’re gorgeous.”

“Right,” you said, turning to hop off the stool. You were not going to hurt the stranger because it would kill the mood, you reminded yourself, unclenching your fists. As you took another deep breath, your eyes flew open when a firm grip pulled you into his chest. Shrieking, you went stumbling into his arms. “What the fuck?”

“I like girls who have a little heat,” he said, fingers practically bruising your wrist. “I saw it the moment you sat down. Besides, who wears an outfit like that and doesn’t want to get noticed?”

Trying to keep your temper in check, an image of you flipping him over your shoulder and slamming him into the ground flashed through your mind. Anger somewhat mollified, you were about to rip your arm from his and maybe break his index finger in the process, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Stumbling into another chest, you glanced around to see Eddie’s fierce expression.

“I suggest you get your hands off my girlfriend before I break yours,” he said, tone leaving no room for arguments. Annoyance flashed across the guy’s expression before recognition dawned on him.

“Shit man, I didn’t know that was your girl, honest,” he said, taking a few steps back. His face paled as he stumbled away from the bar and towards the booths on the right. Not releasing his hold on you, Eddie stalked over to Johnson, who was two seconds from climbing onto table to dance.

“Who is that?” He asked her. Her glazed look disappeared at the sound of his tone.

“Plus one from a suit at the label. Want him out?” She said, all traces of inebriation vanishing at will. A bit of pride shot through you at that.

Eddie rubbed a hand down his face. “I know it’s your night off but he was feeling Mayfield up-”

Johnson’s brows flew up. “And his limbs aren’t broken?”

“I was trying not to make a scene,” you hissed, glaring at Eddie, and smiling at the few concerned looks you were getting.

Eddie’s eyes turned to you for the first time since the bar. Surprised at what you saw, you blinked. “Some things are worth making a scene for,” he turned to Johnson who smiled knowingly.

“I can take care of it,” she assured you both, “with pleasure.”

You turned to Eddie and he spoke before you could. “People are looking, darling, smile.”

“Do not tell me to smile,” you snarked. “I had that handled.”

Not dignifying you with a response, he pulled you into one of the semi-private booths. You growled at him. “Don’t manhandle me like that, I had it covered. It’s literally my job.”

Eddie ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I know. I’m sorry, I know you could’ve handled it but-” he hesitated, brows furrowing, “sometimes other people can take care of you, you know?”

You leaned back. “What?”

“Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean someone else can’t help. I know you could probably kick my ass-”

“-not probably, I definitely can-”

“-but I’ve still got your back. Even if you don’t need it.”

He was jealous, you realized, finally recognizing the emotion brewing in his eyes.

Oh.

“I…okay,” you said, taking his fingers and intertwining them with yours across the table.

Eddie frowned. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded.

Suspicious, he leaned forward. “I just – I didn’t like how he had his hands on you. I wanted to punch his stupid face.”

It was very in character that the sentiment made your heart skip a beat.

“Who goes around just grabbing people like that? The way he pulled you- and his stupid suit-” he exhaled harshly. “I’m sorry if I pulled you too hard. I know we haven’t defined anything between us yet-”

“Hey,” you interrupted his nervous rambling. “I can get jealous too you know.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded, remembering that stupidly pretty bartender at the Hide Out. The way she’d place her hand on his arm, tracing his tattoos. Blinking away the memory, you raised your eyes up to Eddie’s and felt that first crackle of electricity. “I’ve got to share you with everyone you know,” you teased, “you’re Eddie Munson, famous rockstar now.”

Instead of laughing, Eddie’s eyes shifted and you felt the tension deepen. The current snapped louder, practically visible. “Yeah, but you wanted me when I was that kid planning campaigns and standing on lunch tables. Nothing, not even sold-out stadiums and big fancy international tours can change that. You were the first.”

“Eddie,” you breathed, fingers digging into his skin, and you suddenly got the urge to kiss him.

He smiled, a soft, excited little thing. “I don’t know if you’ve realized but,” he licked his lip and you followed the motion. “I regret to inform you that your employment for Corroded Coffin has come to an end.”

“Technically it’s to the end of the night,” you joked, laughing when he shot you a half-hearted glare, “but, yes, I do know.”

“So, what do you say we get out of here?” He said, wiggling his brows like the dork he really was. Your heart sung, wanting to reach out and bury itself beneath his skin.

You leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “I’m pretty sure this party isn’t even halfway through.”

Eddie groaned, head lolling to the side. “You’re killing me Mayfield, you’re actually killing me.”

“I’m not,” you huffed, “I’d be a little ruthless if I mentioned that I’m wearing something a bit lacy underneath this all.”

Popping his head up to glare at you, you watched with unrestrained laughter as his eyes lowered – dazed. “That’s not fair,” he grumbled. “Fuck the party, let’s just go. I’ve been waiting years for this.”

“It’s only been two months,” you reminded him, “and we can’t – you have a speech to make with the guys. Robin will kill you if you miss it.”

Eddie’s desperate gaze softened into something tangible. Something real you could almost grasp in your hands. It reached out and stole your breath, leaving you gasping. “No, sweetheart, I’ve been waiting on you for years. I just didn’t realize until last month,” he stood, resting his weight on his forearms to lean into your space, “and I’ve never been one not to go for what I want. And right now, that’s you.”

With a dip of his head, he licked a strip up your neck and nipped at your jaw before hovering just far away enough from your lips. Your heart dropped into your stomach and the velociraptors in your stomach awoke with a vengeance.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” you heard yourself say, sounding incredibly breathless.

With one last heated look, he slid out the booth and sauntered through the gauzy curtains. You blinked, watching him walk back towards your friends. That little punk. You groaned, heat swirling through your belly, and you clenched your thighs together.

An hour, tops, and you were dragging that man – rockstar or not – back to your room.

Straightening your shoulders, you stood and made your way over to bar for your drink. The bartender let you know she sent the forgotten appetizers to your table and you nodded, dazed. Making your way to Robin, sipping on your cocktail, you sat next to her.

She grinned at you.

“What?” You groaned around the straw.

“That looked like a heated conversation.”

You shrugged, crossing your legs. “It might’ve been.”

“It had to have been considering the speech the guys are making is suppose to be in an hour.”

Humming, you looked at her a little confused. To be fair, you were still drowning in a cloud of Eddie’s cologne and the memory of his gaze. She pointed to the makeshift stage at the edge of the dance floor where the DJ stood. Gareth was thanking everyone on the tour for their help.

“He came over to let me know they were gonna bump up the speech and ‘do not fucking knock on our door until tomorrow afternoon even if the hotel is burning down’ or else he was plucking eyes out.”

Eddie’s voice came through the mic next and you immediately started choking on your drink, you coughed and thumped your chest, trying to dislodge the ice cube you’d just accidentally inhaled.

“I know,” Robin said, amusedly watching you choke to death. “From now until the afternoon? That’s ambitious. Just try not to break the bed, this is an expensive hotel.”

Glaring at her as you cleared your throat, she cackled. “I better be your best man.”

“Robin!” You gasped, needing a reprieve.

“What?” She huffed. “As if you two would ever end up with anyone else? Please. But seriously, Max gets maid of honor but I’m the best man. Best maid? Whatever. I’ll get to rub it in Steve’s face for years.”

The sarcastic quip on your tongue died as a hand circled your wrist and hauled you to your feet. Glass hitting the table, you stood and whirled to see Eddie’s wild eyes. “Come on.”

“Did you basically announce that we’re together to the whole group?” You hissed, following his lead – you were indignant, not stupid – and turned to glare at Robin as she wolf whistled. “Jeff isn’t even done speaking!”

Eddie, ignoring your words, kept weaving through the crowd. You reached the elevators and you opened your mouth but Eddie shot you a look. “For once, in your life, don’t argue with me,” he said, nipping at your ear and successfully shutting you up.

You were used to being the one that took the lead, Eddie had always encouraged you to do so. So when the elevator shut behind him and his lips crashed into yours for the first time in almost ten years, your legs immediately turned into jelly. Your arms went to his neck, securing him to you as his teeth bit down into your bottom lip. Groaning into his mouth, you ran your fingers through his hair and tugged sharply.

Eddie’s moan echoed in the elevator, reverberating in your bones. His eyes flashed and you shivered, thrilled at the sight. His hand came to your neck and your shoulders hit the back panel. Panting, you stared up at him defiantly and you watched him smile at your – do doubt – swollen lips. His thumb caressed the underside of your jaw and you tried to keep yourself from letting him know how much you enjoyed it.

The glint in his eyes let you know you’d failed but you didn’t mind, especially not when the elevators opened and he all but ran you to the end of the corridor. Not able to keep your hands to yourself, you pushed him against the door and finally, fucking finally, lapped at the scar on his collarbone. His head thumped at the door and you let your hand trail down to palm him through his black jeans. Eddie buckled, pupils blown wide, hands scrambling for the upper hand but you kept him pressed against the door.

Mouth traveling up to the meaty part of his neck, you worried the sensitive skin there and pressed harder. Eddie’s choked whine hit your ear and he panted. “Sweetheart, this is going to be over really soon if you don’t stop teasing me.”

“Oh yeah?” You said, eyeing the red skin at his neck with satisfaction. Eddie’s chest rose quickly, a dazed smile on his face. “Fuck,” you huffed, pushing your disheveled hair from your face.

“What?” He asked, fingers pulling the key card from his pocket.  

“You’re sort of beautiful, Munson,” you said, not stepping through the door as he opened it. Surprised at your comment, he glanced back at you and you smiled. “It’s almost unfair.”

Heat doubling in his expression, Eddie pulled you through the doorway and caged you in on the wall. “You can’t say shit like that to me when you look like that,” he groaned, his lips coming down to your neck this time. You gasped when his hand slipped underneath your top, deft fingers pulling down your bra and palming your chest. “Fuck, I want you so bad.” You whimpered when he brought a knee up between your legs and hissed at the sudden pressure.

Jesus Christ, you needed to take his clothes off, now. You both needed to be in bed, on the floor, against this fucking wall – whatever. But it needed to be soon. Your edges were frayed after this past week of building tension.

Nails digging into his back, you rocked your hips desperately seeking any type of friction. “Eddie,” you mumbled, mind completely gone and eyes opening. You took a moment to adjust the candlelight and then blinked. Candlelight? Wait, what?

The haze in your mind cleared for a moment and your sixth sense popped it’s head up.

“Wait, hold on,” you said, nudging him back – his scent was intoxicating and you needed a breath of clean air. As your brain rebooted, you took a few steps towards the massive sitting room and immediately the hairs on your arm stood on end.

Something was wrong. Really wrong. Fuck. You hadn’t swept the room before you stepped in. “Get out – Eddie, run-”

Eddie’s brows furrowed, confused, and the idiot took a step towards you instead. Acting on pure instinct, you whirled around and didn’t have enough time to bring your hands up. A punch to your face and the subsequent crunch let you know that your nose was broken. Blood instantly gushed down to your mouth. You heard Eddie scream your name, panicked.

Dazed and sprawled on the floor, you watched Eddie launch himself at the man and they went tumbling into the wall. The woman, who had been laid out on the bed, stalked up to you. Her platform heels clacked against the floors and it took you a moment to stop seeing double. Heaving for air, you felt her sharp heel come up to your face. Your head snapped back, sight going hazy again.

“Did you really think we wouldn’t come for you, stupid bitch?” She hissed. “He’s too good for you. I don’t know what he saw in you but we’re finally here. You can’t keep us apart anymore.”

“Fuck you,” you spat, blood dribbling down your chin.

“We suspected you were security, you know,” she said, twirling the knife in her hand, “considering the previous guards were easy to bribe to let us into the hotels and venues. Your guys though, I have to give them credit, clocked us in a second. But we’re devoted. He’s ours.”

You glanced back at where the woman’s companion had Eddie in a headlock, clearly trying to keep from hurting him. Eddie’s eyes caught yours and you tried to will him into collaborating.

“He’s the love of our lives,” she said, looking back at Eddie and blowing him a kiss. “We were all married in our past life.”

With a well-practiced move, you swung you leg out and collided with her. She screamed, tumbling to the ground and you pounced. Your foot came down to her hand with the knife and you leaned your entire weight onto it.

The crunching sound beneath your own heels, and her panicked pained screams, let you know you’d returned the favor and broken her wrist. “Fuck you,” you spat, rearing your hand back and bringing it down onto her temple twice before she went limp.

A fist came down to your hair and dragged you up. The man’s tight grip drew your arm back furiously. With a deep breath, you opened your mouth and unleashed a guttural scream. Throwing your head back, you heard the man shout. He released his grip on you and you turned to face him. He threw his arm out towards you but you side stepped him, using his own momentum, you leaned backwards and hooked your foot around his. In a move your Sensei would be proud of, you twisted and landed hard atop of him. Unfortunately, the man managed to fold your arm in the process and you knew by the exploding pain that if something was dislocated – you’d be lucky.

Already looking for something to grab, you barely managed to sideswipe the lamp Eddie brought down onto the man’s jaw. Going limp, you panted, and swung off of him.

Eddie’s panicked eyes darted over to you. Cradling your bad arm, you pointed to your room. “Go get my duffel bag. The blue one. I have zip ties in there, tie these two to the radiator on the wall.”

“But – Mayfield, the blood – did she – fuck-” he stammered and you looked down to realize he was right. It looked like someone had been stabbed and for a brief moment of panic, you reached out towards Eddie with your right hand. “It’s not me – I’m fucking fine – it’s you!”

You brought your hand up to your face and winced when you felt the cut on your cheekbone and temple. “That bitch caught me when she kicked me,” you said, “head wounds bleed a lot. I’m fine. Eddie, focus – go get the zip ties.”

His breathing was a little shallow, and his skin too pale, but he nodded. Running into your room, you used his absence to heave yourself up. Groaning as the room spun, you limped over towards the phone.

Before you could get there, you watched the door slam open. Martin and Johnson stood in the doorframe, eyes widening as they took you in. “Boss, shit, are you alright?” Johnson said, at your side in an instant.

“Where’s Munson?” Martin asked, already ducking into your room, where Eddie was holding the zip ties in his hands.

“I found them!” He shouted, letting Martin take them from him. At the sight of other people, Eddie darted back over to you.

“Sweep the building, make sure everything is secure,” you told Johnson, the broken nose and hit to your temple starting to make you dizzy.

Martin tied their arms behind their backs and marched over to the phone. “I’ll call you an ambulance boss,” he said, a speck of blood on his cheek and the knife in his hand.

Johnson wrapped your good arm around her neck and guided you out to your room. “How did you know?” You asked, inhaling sharply when you jostled your arm.

“Neighbors called in a complaint about screaming downstairs. Robin sent us up as a joke but we heard your scream from the elevator banks,” she said, face twisting. “I don’t know how they got passed security.”

“I do,” Martin said, holding up a large duffel and some maintenance uniforms. “Medics and police are on their way boss.”

“I want to charge them with everything fucking possible,” Eddie snarled, his hand on your leg. “Jesus Christ, look at the blood.”

Johnson nodded. “Head wounds bleed a lot; it doesn’t look too bad. What’s another few more stitches?” She joked, clinical eyes taking in your nose. “Looks clean but definitely broken.”

“You don’t say,” you snipped, watching through heavy eyes as Johnson smiled.

“She’ll be alright,” she said and you knew it was more for Eddie’s benefit than your own. “She’s got enough in her to still be a sarcastic punk.”

You huffed weakly. “I’m still your boss.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Johnson straightened, “hey now, stay awake.”

“Mayfield?” Eddie said, his hand coming out to shake you. Johnson’s fingers smacked your cheek a little but it was futile. Exhaustion and adrenaline swept through you, knocking you down and encompassing you in the dark.

///

You awoke in the ambulance a few minutes later. It seemed that not eating, drinking shitty tequila, and taking a few hits to the head wasn’t a good mix. The EMT had greeted you with a wide smile.

Robin, however, had looked like she was ready to vibrate into a different dimension when she was finally allowed into your room. She stepped in, her suit wrinkled and her expression tight. You were still a little loopy from the pain meds but a nurse had helped you raise the bed so you were at least sitting for the debrief you knew you’d have to give.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she hissed, her fingers coming out to your good wrist.

“It looks worse than it is,” you said, knowing that your face must be bruised to shit. The swelling had already started to set in and you knew that the nose was going to look bad for at least two weeks.

“The nurse said you’d broken something but I thought it was your fucking arm – not everything else!” She said, hand hovering in the air like she was scared to touch you.

You bridged the gap for her and curled your fingers around hers. “Rob, I’m okay. I’ve had worse.”

That didn’t seem to be the right thing to say because she paled. Taking the opportunity, you squeezed her hand and tried to blink back your tears. “I’m sorry,” you said, voice thin, “I am so sorry. I was distracted and didn’t check before we went in. Eddie could’ve been hurt and I-” This time your voice did crack and you tried to swallow around it. The guilt had been eating you alive for the entire time you’d sat in this bed.

How could you have not gone in and cleared the room? You’d been doing it for two months, every day, and you’d forgotten. Everyone made mistakes but mistakes in your field got people killed.

“Sorry?” Robin sputtered incredulously. “Mayfield, you saved his life. You saved both your lives! You’re a fucking hero.”

You shook your head, wincing when it brought a sharp throb of pain.

“Is that why the nurse said I was the only visitor cleared? Eddie’s been driving himself crazy in the waiting room – he’s a wreck out there,” she said, squeezing your hand tightly. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“This is my job!” You exclaimed.

Robin’s eyes softened. “The assignment was up yesterday, boss. Besides, they’ve been arrested and slapped with so many charges I’ll be surprised if they’re not in there for a good chunk of years.”

“But I shouldn’t have let my guard down. We were distracted- I let him distract me-”

She smiled sadly at you. “Don’t do this, I know what you’re doing – how you’re working yourself up. Don’t do this to him.”

“Robin, I- I can’t,” you said pathetically, feeling like you were going to throw up.

“Listen to me. You two have always been inevitable. That’s – part of the reason I was insistent on hiring you. I knew that you both were each other’s person. Admittedly, I thought you were both just being stubborn, I didn’t know you’d actually dated. You both just needed the right circumstances and two good nudges. Obviously, you were someone I trusted but…you had to have known. Everyone who looked at you two knew.”

“Knew what?”

“That it was never pretend. It took three nurses to keep him in the waiting room, Mayfield. He’s – he was losing his mind when they wouldn’t let him ride in the ambulance. Shit, when I saw all the blood, I had a panic attack. It looked like – like when Eddie-” her breath went shallow and she winced at the rattle in her chest. “Fucking PTSD.”

“Fucking PTSD,” you agreed, empathizing completely.

“This wasn’t your fault, is what I’m trying to say. The fact that you two finally came to your senses and got lost in the moment was what we all wanted! For years. Please, don’t hide away from him again.”

The guilt piled on you in epic proportions but you were anything if not stubborn.

You’d almost gotten Eddie killed – except this time it was your fault. You were the one who’d forgotten to double check. You were the one who was suppose to know better. You weren’t dumb kids in over their heads.

Robin sighed, pressing a kiss to your forehead and patting your hand. “I’ll let them know you’re staying over for observations and you can’t have any visitors until the morning, okay?”

“Thank you,” you said, ashamed and relieved all at once.

That night, with your kind nurse checking you once an hour for any signs of a concussion, you watched the stars through your window.

You’d tried and lost, again. You knew that you shouldn’t have taken this job – panic threatened to overwhelm you. It felt like you’d been dropping into the ocean in the middle of a storm. Waves crashed into you, pulling you under.

Like a coward, you’d already asked Max to come get you upon your discharge. You’d heard the hesitation in her voice but she agreed to pick you up from the back. You needed to make it a clean break. Eddie would go off to do better things because he deserved better than you and the baggage you came with.

Chest aching and tears burning, you realize that you had almost made it this time. You’d had what you wanted within reach, fingertips grazing it, until it was snatched away from you again.

You’d learned something though. The second time around hurt more than the first. But at this point, running was second nature.

///

In hindsight, you should’ve known that your patchwork, flimsy at best, plan wouldn’t work. Hiding out for a week in Lucas’ spare bedroom helped you keep up the illusion that you weren’t being the biggest coward in all of existence. Max, like the best little sister in the world, hadn’t brought up the topic and let you mope around as you got used to maneuvering around with a cast on your arm – again.

The phone rang and you instinctively flinched. You heard Max answer and sighed when she called out your name from the kitchen.

“It’s Hopper,” she said, coming to the doorframe. “I promise.”

Grumbling, you picked the phone up from the receiver. “Do you ever pick up the phone?” Hopper asked. “Jesus. I had to hear from Robin that you’re not dead in a hospital somewhere?”

“Sorry,” you grunted, feeling like a kid getting scolded by their parents.

“Listen, I need a favor,” he said.

You groaned. “Hopper, I broke my arm,” you whined.

“And then disappeared off the face of the planet for a week. Joyce was ready to call Murray.”

Sighing, you frowned. “I’m on leave for at least a month – I can work with the cast but my nose needs to heal.”

“Calm down tiger, I just need you to go into the office and meet with some of the suits from the label. They want to hear what happened from your end. It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”

“Can’t I do it over the phone?”

“Would I be calling you if you could?”

And that’s how you found yourself on your way to headquarters on a Saturday morning.

Jessica, the office admin, greeted you with a warm smile when you arrived. “That looks painful,” she said, whistling.

“You should see the other guy,” you joked weakly.

Her brows rose. “They’re still alive?” She smiled when you laughed. “Come on, they’re already here.”

“Shit,” you glanced at your watch. “I thought I was early.”

“Don’t worry, they haven’t been here long,” she reassured you. She grabbed your bag and opened the door to the largest conference room.

You took a step into the room and froze. Eddie stood, arms crossed, leaning against the large wooden table. Glancing back at the door, Jessica smiled knowingly. “I’ll be outside if you need me.”

The silence was painful and you sighed. “Eddie-”

“Please don’t be mad at me, I’m so sorry for doing this. You deserve the best and that isn’t me,” he said, eyeing your cast with a guarded expression.

“What?” You said, headache blooming at your temples. You were going to kill Hopper. No, you were going to quit and then kill him.

Eddie nodded to the folded letter next to him on the table. The one you’d asked a nurse to give to him before you’d slipped out the back. He was quoting what you’d written.

“You had some audacity, you know?”

Sighing, you settled into the nearest chair and waved a hand in the air. “What did you want me to do?”

“To fight, for fuck’s sake, fight for us!” He exclaimed. “I know you love me; I know you do. You don’t have to say it, I know you better than you know yourself.”

“It’s in my blood! What do you want me to do? From the first time I fought with the kids, to that last battle. I run, it’s what I do. I don’t – I don’t know how to stop,” you said, voice anguished.

“That’s fine, but let me run with you. I don’t want to catch you, I don’t want to change you into something you’re not – but let me be by your side,” Eddie said, throwing his hand out. “Did you really think you could hand me a letter and think I’d just let it go?”

You didn’t answer because, yeah, that’s what you had thought.

“I let you go once because I thought it was what you wanted – I’m not making the same mistake again,” he said, reverent. “I realized now that you’re scared but, I’m scared too.”

“I almost got you killed,” you said, like a broken record. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry – for everything.”

Eddie sighed. “Mayfield.”

Something snapped within you. “No, Eddie, no – I can’t do this. I can’t – I don’t know why. Maybe that’s all we’re destined to be. An almost. A beautiful, wonderful almost.”

“We were never an almost,” he said, coming up to you, “this is just our story. And this isn’t the end of it - you weren’t the one that got away, you’re the one period. We might’ve worked before but we might’ve not. But those kids in Hawkins? They weren’t an almost. We weren’t almost something. We were something. But this us? Right now? We’re right where we need to be. We were meant for this. This is our story.”

Weak excuses falling at your feet, you gazed up at Eddie’s eyes and stripped yourself bare. “I do love you, I do,” you admitted painfully, “I didn’t think that we’d fit together the same way we did before but we did and I didn’t know what to do with it. Then, the beach happened, the storm – I’m scared. I’m broken, that time in Hawkins broke me and I don’t know how to stay. I don’t know how to plant roots.”

“I do though and I can do it for the both of us until you learn,” Eddie said, eyes looking at your cast sadly. “Do you want this?”

Tears welled in your eyes and you considered lying again. But you couldn’t – not a third time. Against every blaring alarm in you, you nodded. “Yes. I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. But – I’m different Eddie, I’m…”

“If you say broken,” he scowled, “you’re not fucking broken.”

“I’m different. I’m haunted. It’s been ten years and it still won’t go away. It gets easier but it’s always there. The assignments I’ve gone on – the shit I’ve seen. I- I can’t cope sometimes. The shadows always come when the sun goes away,” you admitted, saying the words for the first time in years.

“Share them with me. I can help you chase the shadows away. That’s what we do, right? Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway.”*

At your shock, Eddie smiled softly, kneeling so that he was looking up at you.

“When are you going to learn?” He mused, eyes dancing between yours. “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. I don’t deserve better because you’re the best of us, Mayfield. You’re the best person I’ve ever met and I refuse to let you think otherwise. Because I know you’re brave. I’ve seen it. I can see it now. Let yourself be loved.”

Heart cracking open, you felt tears roll down your cheeks. Your good hand came up to his cheek and you leaned your forehead against his. Taking a deep breath, you steeled your shoulders and batted at the shadows. How stupid of you to think you could outrun him, the same man who stared a tornado of demobats and stood to fight.

“Okay,” you said, “I’d kiss you but I’m scared you’ll bump my nose.”

Eddie’s answering grin was blinding.

///

“I could take a look at the security plans if you want,” you said lightly, inching towards the files on the table and leaning forward.

Yang shut the file closed and shot you a look. “You’re here as a guest of the band’s, Mayfield. Not as security.” She smiled when you pouted.

“Oh come on, you know I’m good,” you whined.

She shook her head. “What you are, is a control freak,” she teased. “Your boyfriend was looking for you a few minutes ago. I’m assuming he went to the stage next.”

You scowled and stuck out your tongue before taking off towards the main stage. Fighting back your smile, you wrapped your arms around yourself. Hearing other people refer to Eddie as your boyfriend, an official boyfriend, always made the velociraptors in your stomach yawn awake. Even after six months.

“There you are!” A pair of arms wrapped around your waist and you jumped.

Turning in the arms, you smiled up at Eddie. “Here I am,” you said, reaching up to press a kiss to his lips. “Where’d you go?”

“Robin needed me. I’m good for the next hour, I wanted to see if you were hungry.”

You quirked your brow. “You have a concert in three hours and they’re letting you leave?” You asked.

“I’ve got you with me,” he said, grinning, “they always trust me more when you’re around.”

Laughing, you tucked yourself under his arm and curled an arm around his waist. “Gee, I wonder why,” you said. Eddie’s finger trailed down your nose and you scrunched it at him.

“Let’s go wander Barcelona,” you said, eyes tracing his movements when he tucked his hair into a baseball cap.

Eddie smiled knowingly when he caught you blatantly checking him out. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said, ducking for another kiss.

“You two are disgusting,” Mike called out, carrying the backup guitars towards the stage. “Get a room!”

“I’ll remember that the next time you see El!” You shouted back, laughing when he stuck his tongue out.

“I haven’t seen you in a month,” Eddie huffed, “I’m allowed to be dramatic about it.”

You pulled him towards the side exit. “You’ve never needed permission, Munson, don’t start now.”

Finding a small park a few blocks away, you bought yourself some gelato and sat cross legged on a bench. “Want some?” You asked, offering up a spoonful. Eddie rarely ate this close to a performance but your stomach flipped as you watched his tongue dart out to catch some of the creamy goodness. His tongue managed to swipe your thumb and he smirked.

“Tastes delicious,” he said, leaning closer.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” you teased, tilting your head back further so he could nip at your neck. The current flickered for a moment, lying dormant when he leaned away.

The look in his eyes was fond when you couldn’t help but kiss his jaw. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing, I’m just happy to have you here,” he said, resting an arm on your knee. “Are we going to talk about it?”

You rolled your eyes. “Between the two of us, you’re the one that’s having a harder time accepting this.”

“She’s a kid!”

“Max is an adult, Edward, and may I remind you that you and I were doing a lot worse things when we were younger than her?”

Eddie huffed, squeezing your shoulder. “I just keep picturing them as my little lost sheep, you know?”

“How do you think I feel?” You said. “I can still picture her all tiny and chubby limbs. But he makes her happy, you know? They’ve made it this long anyway – if anything, he took his time.”

“I still can’t believe he asked me for my blessing,” he said and you remembered how Eddie had teared up the day Lucas had asked you for permission to propose to Max. You’d cried, then laughed about how you were going to tell her he’d asked for permission like she was cattle. He’d gotten flustered the more you teased and you honestly wished you would’ve recorded it.

“I bet she cries,” you said, tearing up at the thought. Your little sister was getting married.

Eddie kicked a leg out. “Nah, she’ll probably tackle him to the floor while he cries.”

“Also likely,” you admitted. “Hey, you think we’ll ever get married?”

Choking, Eddie turned to you, shock all over his face. He sputtered a few times, mouth gaping.

“What? You planning on breaking up with me?” You asked, curled your tongue around the plastic spoon.

At that, he reanimated. “No, of course not,” he said. “I just – I didn’t think you’d want…to do that.”

That was fair. Considering your history.

“Would you want that?” You asked, curious. You didn’t have a preference really; your parents had been married and then your mother had married Neil. That was enough to remind you that marriage wasn’t the end all.

“A few years ago, I would’ve said no,” Eddie confessed, “but, I gotta admit, I want everything with you, sweetheart.”

Biting back a grin, you nodded. “Then, let’s do it.”

“Did you just propose to me?” Eddie asked, laughing and ducking when you swatted at him.

“No, doofus,” you rolled your eyes, “I meant let’s do it eventually. I want a ring and to actually be asked.”

“That’s weirdly traditional for you,” he teased.

You shrugged. “I want everything with you too,” you said, delighting in the way his eyes went soft and gooey, “besides, I want you down on one knee.”

Eddie wiggled his brows. “You have me down on my knees a lot sweetheart, doesn’t take much.”

Ignoring him, you jabbed him with a finger. “Don’t you dare ask either of my parents for permission.”

“Noted.”

“Maybe I’ll propose to you, we both know Wayne would say yes.” You thought about it and wondered what kind of ring he’d like.

Eddie rolled his eyes, all suffering. “We get it, you’re the favorite.”

“Don’t forget it,” you said, bumping your arm into him. “You’re my favorite, if that’s any consolation.”

“Yeah,” he said, looking down at you. “It is.”

Checking your watch, you stood. “Come on, we’re cutting it close. Yang’ll want to run through a few perimeters checks and she said I could help.”

Grabbing your hand, Eddie let you lead. “Isn’t this supposed to be a vacation?” He asked.

“Hey, I’m all yours after this,” you said, “last concert of the tour and we get a month to ourselves in Europe.”

Eddie grinned, kissing your temple. “There’s this bakery in Florence that I know you’re going to love. I want to take you so many places. Oh, there’s a bookstore Gareth found in Lisbon!”

You watched his face come alive as he recounted his tour of the Eiffel Tour. Yeah, you thought to yourself, you might not believe much in marriage, but you believed in Eddie.

///

“Muchas gracias Barcelona!” Eddie said, waving to the crowd as they screamed themselves hoarse. You felt tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. They’d done it – they’d finished the first part of their world tour.

The label had given the green light for another six months in the next year but this one had been a success in ways no one could’ve predicted.

Gareth darted past you first, falling into the arms of his new girlfriend. You, ready for it, found your arms filled with a practically buzzing Eddie. He hugged you tightly. “We did it!”

“You did it, I’m so proud of you,” you said, shouting a little to be heard over the fans.

You walked deeper into the side stage and took Eddie’s hand in yours. “Sorry, I’m all sweaty,” he said, bouncing on his toes. The boys were always energetic post-concert, you knew it was the adrenaline of performing. Eddie had once told you he’d hoped that the novelty would never fade.

“It’s never bothered me before,” you said, doing a perfect impersonation of his eyebrow wiggle. Eddie, however, stilled. His hair was frizzy, wild, and his smile was just a little unhinged.

“I love you, Eddie Munson,” you said, you loved all versions of him. “I’ll love you forever.”

His smiled turned into something soft. You beamed back at him, knowing that he reveled in it every time you said it. And it was so easy to give him what he wanted, because Eddie was, by far one of the easiest people to love. He was the man you’d love for the rest of your life. It was hard sometimes but, you made it work.

Eddie’s fingers came up to your chin and tilted your face up to his. “Say it again,” he demanded.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” you echoed, peppering his face with kisses. He laughed, delighted, and then – like a switch had flipped – they turned. His eyes were ravenous and hands everywhere.

His lips trailed open mouth kisses down your throat, his hands going lower and lower-

“Jesus Christ, I’m fucking blind,” Dustin cried, hands coming up to slap against his eyes. “This is a public area! Can you two get a goddamn room?”

Eddie’s insistent hand pulled you off towards an empty one down the hall. “Good idea Henderson.” Powered to ten, the electricity between you two popped, tying you together.

Dustin gagged but you’re too enamored to care much. “We’ll catch up!” You shouted over your shoulder.

“Not likely,” Eddie said, pushing you into the room and locking the door behind you. “Now, where were we?”

As he pounced, your back hit the velvet sofa, you laughed. His teeth nipped at your neck and you wrapped your arms around him. Just before your mind went fuzzy, you had one last rational thought.

Maybe you did owe Hopper a bottle of scotch.

  A/N: remember when I said I was learning to write shorter stuff? lol me @ me you played yourself