#pre-timeskip fix-it

[zoros-debt]

Zoro regaining his spirits after he accidentally finds Nami.

--

Zoro: "And when I turned around, the path just disappeared! So I just walked into the trees, and then I saw—" Nami: Yeah, I'm gonna have to keep him on a leash.

[distancingreality]

Zoro wakes up. Nami has been waiting.

Confessions + Thriller Bark

[hatsukeii]

god, love's fuckin' embarrassing! / bsf!suna rintarou x reader

genre(s): fluff + a bit of crack, bsf to lovers, mutual pining, mutual DENIAL SMH, set in pre-timeskip second/third year, "love is embarrassing" x "love is embarrassing", suna lowkey is a sleazy heartthrob who just gets girls, fumbling his feelings in front of a baddie but it...works???

warning(s): dirty jokes, "suna ur a p3do" jokes and punchlines (he's not), and a kys joke LMFAO, also just INSANE/irrational behaviour from diff girls out of obsession/lovesickness because i have defs! met people like that... but other than those nothing! gn reader too i THINK if it's not lmk i'll fix it :)

wc: ~3.3k

tldr; suna rintarou swears he gives up, because love is just so fucking embarrassing. i mean, seriously, what kind of guy is placing all his bets on his best friend that he's definitely, totally, 100% not in love with? (he is.)

Suna Rintarou arrives at your house approximately fifteen minutes later than he agreed to. When he walks in with your spare key, you’re already on the couch, legs propped up on the armrest and back pushed into the plush seats as you scroll on some random forum. He takes aim, and tosses your spare key from the doorway, hoping it hits you in the face. You drop your phone at the same time, and it ends up bouncing off the case and onto the ground. 

“Asshole.” You yell from the couch while reaching to claw at your keys, just loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough to wake the rest of your household. “You said you’d be here by ten to debrief. Was she that bad?” 

Suna frowns, something you, fortunately, don’t notice. You’ve regained control of your phone now, moving on from your forum to your photo album. Through the reflection of the television, his figure is blurry, but approaching. The fabric behind your head dips when he flips onto your couch, legs hanging from the headrest and head lolling off the seat. You finally find what you were looking for, shoving your phone into his face. 

“The scale? Seriously?...Solid nine-point-five. Not a ten, though. Redeeming factor was that she had big tits, but that wouldn’t have mattered anyways, because she’s fifteen.” You drop your phone on his nose. It slides off his face and onto the ground again. 

“Fucking gross, Rintarou. You’re so gross. This is why you can’t keep any girl for longer than one hour.” 

Pushing himself up, he plucks your phone from the ground, and tosses it onto your stomach. With the rate that he’s been going at, Suna doesn’t think he wants to keep anyone for longer than one hour. Sure, casual flirting is exciting. Hookups don’t sound half bad either. But the next time that Suna  catches somebody he’s never spoken to with a love letter in their hands, he swears he will run into the nearest vehicle. It’s not to say that Suna Rintarou wants to be a prude for the rest of his life, no, not at all. He just doesn’t want to spend half an hour chasing someone off his tail again, for the fifth time in his life. 

“Not my fault they think I’d appreciate them casting love spells and carving my name into their walls.” He glances at your grossed-out grimace, and nods knowingly, a nod that says yeah, it’s been that bad. “I’d rather die alone if that’s what I end up doing while in love.” 

You snicker, turning your entire body so your legs rest on the seats of the couch and your back leans against the armrest. Suna eyes your shirt up and down, frowning at the old, but persistent coffee stain that refuses to wash off. He doesn’t think he’s ever getting that shirt back, but he’s okay with that. He wasn’t going to ask anyways. “She was not in love with you, Rin. Stop being an egotist.” 

Something goes off in the kitchen, and Suna suddenly notices how his nose tingles at smells of burnt sugar and butter in the air. You hop off the couch, disappearing into the kitchen only to return with a bowl that Suna thinks might be bigger than your chest- your head. When you set the bowl down on the fabric between your crossed legs, and stuff handfuls of popcorn into your mouth, he sighs. There’s no running from this after all. 

“So? What’s the Mitsuki level warning?” You raise your brow expectantly, the same way that you do at every debrief session, which Suna never fails to show up late to. Thankfully, that usually gives you more time for the everything shower, because the sessions also never fail to carry on through the night, and into the next day.

Ah, Mitsuki, his recurring nightmare. In hindsight, Suna should have known better than to try anything with her, of all people. For fuck’s sake, she drew gore of pre-existing couples, and posted them publicly with pride. “Not that bad, my god. You think she was a villain or something? It was only, like, cried and told me that I must be in love with someone else level bad.” For the record, that’s not even a level 1 warning on the Mitsuki scale. You roll your eyes, mouthing booooo with popcorn stuffed in your cheeks and sticking a buttery thumb down. The horrors that you’ve had the displeasure of hearing about are enough to turn anybody away from love. In fact, they’re enough to undo the security of happily married parents, and an unproblematic friend group at school, and the fact that Suna Rintarou has been looking a little too decent recently. You chalk it up to him finally cutting the stupid hair short.

Suna’s hand invades the popcorn bowl, picking for the glossiest piece. He knows it’s in there, somewhere, the piece with the best butter to caramel ratio, the one that you always find before he does when he shares a bucket with you at the movies. To his disappointment, it is once again, gone. He settles for one that has enough butter, and pops it into his mouth. You throw a dry piece at his face. He eats that one too. 

“Keep going? I need to update my catalogue of your botched dates.”

“It wasn’t even a date!” You throw another piece of popcorn at his face, and this time, he chucks it back at you. “I agreed to show her around the area tonight because she asked, and I was assigned to her, of all the new first years! I didn’t think she would break down when I said no to hooking up now, did I?” You snicker, pointing accusingly at Suna and wiggling your finger. Then, you sign directions- directions he knows all too well from telling you too much about lovesick underclassmen whose feelings go unrequited. Out the door, to the left, straight for three blocks, take a right, it’s the blue sign ahead. It’s the police station. He claws at a handful of popcorn and throws it at you while you hold your stomach and cackle. 

“I’m gonna kill you, I swear.”

“Nah, you love me too much.”

“Bullshit, I don’t.” Any type of love is too embarrassing for Suna Rintarou to be in, whether it’s what his parents have, or whatever Atsumu has got going on with that foreign chick from “another school,” or if it’s throwing popcorn at him in his old Gorillaz t-shirt, which he is still, never getting back. “Kill yourself. I hate you. If you have one hater, it’s me. I’m your biggest opp.” Yes, of course he hates when you pull this shit, because it’s not like he’s glad that underclassmen ogle over him on the daily. How is he supposed to explain that firstly, he doesn’t want to catch a case, and secondly, he thinks they’re tainting the very concept of love by embarrassing themselves like that?

You put a halt to your mindless laughter and gasp, eyes widening and pointer finger shooting up in front of you. “Whoa there!” The feigned altruism of your voice makes Suna wish he was actually dead. See? No love here. One for Suna, none for love. “Hate is a strong word, Rin. You shouldn’t hate, you should love! Love thy neighbours! Love wins!” Popcorn crumbs line his t-shirt now, and Suna clicks his tongue, running a hand over the plasticky print. It’s in pristine condition, spare for the splotch of brown, conveniently placed in one of the four white areas on the shirt. You swat his hand away, throwing a coy smirk in his direction as you shake the fabric to let the crumbs fall off. He tries to wince, holding back the muscles in his cheeks from moving the wrong way and smiling, and a pained smoulder comes as a result. Better than a smile, especially when you’re prodding at him to choose love. That would have been embarrassing, and very, very hard to explain.

“Love does not win.” Suna turns on the television now, your muted reflections turning to colour as some reality show drones on. Oh look, it’s Love Island, where all the female leads are a little stupid, and the male leads are trying unnecessarily hard not to think with their dicks. “It’s sad, and half the time girls that say they’re in love with me end up running away crying because of it.” 

You hum, questionably. Is that what he thinks love is? Well, yes, it’s sad, obviously. Embarrassing too. You’ve seen it in the sappy texts that your freshly-dumped friends foolishly shoot to their cheater exes, and heard it in Suna’s many escapades, including, but not limited to being car-chased by Mitsuki onto your poor neighbour’s lawn, which they still haven’t managed to get fixed. Still, it always wins, because somebody else thinking they’re in love with Suna means that you get to hear all about them for hours on end, and then try to convince him that there’s obviously somebody better, or at least sane, that's around the corner, ready to love him normally. Not you though, because that’s, again, embarrassing. Although you admit that you wouldn’t mind if he ever asked. 

“I told you, Rin, they’re not in love with you. They’re obsessed, it’s different.” 

Suna shrugs, blowing a raspberry. He doesn’t think you know what you’re talking about, because if you ever needed him to, Suna Rintarou would undoubtedly lay his life down for you, no questions asked. If you ever wanted another shirt, he’d give you his collection, then buy you more if that still isn’t enough. He’d let you off the hook for snatching the best piece of popcorn in the bucket from him, and settle for the butter pieces with only bits of caramel on the edges. Hell, he’d even swallow his ego, and just date you if it helped you with anything. But he would rather die than hand you a love letter stamped shut with red wax, or push you up against a locker in the middle of school rush hour, and has never, in his life, wanted to watch you sleep through a bedroom window like Mitsuki has to him. Obsession, in the name of love, is sorely inapplicable to Suna Rintarou. Therefore, he must be romantically inept. It’s okay, he accepts it. 

“I don’t see a difference. How could you?”

Your mind blanks at his question, unsure how to explain to Suna that somebody screaming I love you! with a DSLR camera full of his photos, taken of him in secret, in places that nobody but he should know, is nothing close to love. When you reach for the coffee table and place the half empty bowl of popcorn down, you catch his expression. His eyes are half-lidded, glossed over, staring tiredly at the television. You almost let it slip that you feel a bit sad for him. 

“You’re kidding. Okay, give me a scenario, anything.” He hesitates, bouncing his leg up and down and tapping his finger against the seat of the couch. His eyes dart towards you, who are staring at him. He doesn’t look away.

“Alright, what would you do if you loved someone?”

In normal circumstances, you’d probably tell them, nothing. When Suna Rintarou is sitting beside you on your couch, however, it’s different. You think, looking at the ceiling to avoid any and all eye contact.

“Well, for starters, I wouldn’t try to fight their best friend.” You blurt out, remembering the black eye you suffered as a result of telling Mitsuki off for showing up at Suna’s doorstep in nothing but lingerie. “And I’d be okay taking a black eye for them anyways, it’s just not a nice experience.” Suna nods introspectively, looking back to the television. Nope, still Love Island, but it’s enough to occupy his scrambling mind. You continue.

“I mean, flowers are kind of embarrassing, and I kinda hate them, but if they wanted to give me flowers, I’d pretend to like them. Maybe try to keep them alive too.” By ascending the stairs to your room, you would see a single rose in a vase. It’s half-wilted, the water level decided with uncertainty a year ago when Suna thought it was funny to give you the rose from one of his secret admirers on Valentine’s day. “If they loved me though, they would know that I hate flowers.” See? Not love again, two for Suna, none for love, because Suna gave you the rose knowing that you hate flowers. 

“I’d take lots of consensual photos of them, anytime, and everywhere.” Suna knows that you have an entire album, filled with god awful, non-consensual photos of him. That means you don’t love him, which is good! Because he doesn’t either, even if he also has an album of unflattering, non-consensual photos of you. Suna’s favourite is one that is actually quite flattering, where you’re leaning up against the handle of a shopping cart, and reaching for a bottle of mayonnaise on a rack. Non-consensual, unbeknownst to you, but he thinks you’d like it if he showed you. “Keep them in a cute little folder or something too.”

“Are you sure you’re not in love with anyone? Because you seem to know way too much.”

“I think s-” Stopping abruptly, you bite your tongue before the next words have a chance to come out. “I think I’m open to it.” You stretch, and your foot pokes into Suna’s side. He grabs it, sitting closer, and pulls you down until your legs rest on his own, which are now bouncing uncontrollably. 

“Okay, good to know. What’s your type, then?”

Your hands reach behind your head, cushioning it as you lie on the headrest. “Someone funny. And sane. Good looking too, but that’s a bonus.” No, this is bad. It’s two for Suna, but one for love, because Suna Rintarou is sane. Love Island on the television erupts into a flurry of applause, and when the two of you look at the screen, two people are kissing. One of them opens their mouth too much, and it clearly freaks the other person out. “Oh, and somebody who doesn’t kiss like…that.” You nudge Suna’s chest with your knee. “What about you? First year freshmen?” He pokes the side of your stomach, right where the coffee stain sits on his t-shirt. 

“Fuck you.” His curses drone off, lost in thought. Does he want somebody tall? Short? Somebody who plays volleyball like him? No, that’s not it. He looks back at you, whose eyes are still trained onto the television. He thinks he should take another photo of you, one that he thinks you’d like just as much as the shopping cart one. It’ll be a lot of effort, trying to reach for his phone in his pocket with your legs over his own, but it’ll be worth it. “I just want somebody who won’t try to climb through my bedroom window at three in the morning.” Now that he says it out loud, it sounds like the bare minimum. “And maybe someone who actually wants me around, even if I’m not romantic or whatever.” You look back at Suna, and suddenly you’re putting every single person that’s ever confessed their love to shame just by being his best friend of four years, sitting beside him like you always have. Fuck, it’s two for Suna, and three for love. He’s not sure where the extra point came from, but he probably deserves it. “I think I just want somebody who loves me. Like, actually loves me.”

“What, you finally get it?”

“Yeah, I think I do.” Suna rubs at his gradually reddening face with both of his clammy palms. You smile, because you’re not sad for him anymore. Your best friend is finally starting to see that love isn’t being chased by a car, or being cornered with a letter, or even being kissed on the cheek by girls who barely know him, but somehow think they’re in love with him. “This is so fucking embarrassing. Oh my god. Love is so fucking embarrassing.” 

“I know, Rin. It’s nice though, I think, when you’re in love.” Your words drift off into the air of your living room, and although you're punching yourself in your head, you come to the acknowledgement that you might just be in love with Suna Rintarou. Love really sets you up to embarrass yourself, especially when you realise it at a time like this.

“Have you been?”

You don't nod, and his stomach drops, because Suna Rintarou is pretending that he wants to make fun of whatever comes out of your mouth next, but hoping for you to say his name. Two for Suna, four for love.

“I probably am right now, but who am I to say? I know nothing more than you do. People don’t even go for me, which saves me the trouble.” You shrug helplessly. If love doesn’t come your way, then so be it. There’s nothing more embarrassing than putting out more than you get, which is exactly what you would do for only one person in the world.

“They would.” 

“You serious?” Suna nods, legs coming to rest. “Proof, right now, or it didn’t happen.” It’s about to end horribly, and Suna Rintarou might never live this down, but he’s lost four-two to love, so placing all his bets on this is now obligatory. 

“Okay, go out with me. I’ll take you somewhere nice.” You freeze, sitting upright. Your body is still as stone, legs still on Suna’s, which are shifting so he can turn and face you.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He doesn’t miss the grin that creeps onto your face. It’s a good sign, he thinks. A sign that you do, in fact, love him back, one way or another. 

“Well, I’m funny, and I’m sane. That’s what you want, right?” Yes, that is what you want. In fact, upon closer consideration, Suna Rintarou is exactly what you want. Who would’ve guessed? Best friend of four years, like you thought, just around the corner. 

“You would be correct. And I want you around, always, even if you don’t like romance, which is what you want, right?” Suna nods, because that is exactly what he wants. 

“Okay, and you…actually love me, and are not just trying to see what boxers I’m wearing, right?” Your eyes dart between his own, and you think about the time Mitsuki somehow managed to steal Suna’s boxers after breaking into his house at three in the morning, before she was chased out and had the restraining order filed against her. No, you’d never stoop that low. Plus, you already know from shuffling through Suna’s closet for all these years, stealing t-shirts off of him. T-shirts that you still wear on rotation to bed, sometimes to go out. You don’t tell him about your friends asking you whether they’re your boyfriend’s shirts, and how you would respond, I wish, idiots.

“I do actually love you, Rintarou. Plus, I think I’d rather not see your boxers again, thanks. And if we go out, you’ll figure out whether you’re in love with me as well, and we can work with that.” The credits roll on the television, and it cuts to an episode preview. Suna looks at you, and he thinks maybe, just maybe, if you ever wanted him to, he’d show up to your doorstep, not just with more of his band t-shirts, but with handwritten love letters tied into a stack too. 

“Nah, I know I love you. We can skip the date and just get together.”

author's note:

watch me post this at 2am sydney time and then get annoyed when no one sees it because 2am is a cursed time for me.... JOKES i don't care because i loved writing this so sosoossoos much and im putting it out as soon as im finished but THANK YOU FOR READING TILL THE END!!! i have a newfound love for suna rintarou thanks to all the research i did on his character both fanon and canon he's so me frl i need to have a suna in my life ngl... I HOPE THIS LIVED UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS THO!!! genuinely one of my favourites that I've written thus far

anyways tags!!!

@chuuya-brainrot @zzwon @akaakeis @blvewave @kongkhoi @hiraethwa @kuroppiii @catsoupki @laughingfcx @tulip-room @fiannee @bailey-reeds @wyrcan @wishi-selfships

ok love u all bye bye until next time

[a-killer-obsession]

Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...

General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.

Chapter 6 - Puppy

Killer gets pegged 😊

WC: 3.7k

Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1

A/N: in case you're someone who relies on the upload schedule to check in for chapters, there was a bonus chapter posted between tuesdays 😊 Be sure to read ch 5 then come back here ~

You woke up in Kid's bed, awkwardly laying across it, his heavy leg draped over you as he slept the right way up, snoring like a fucking truck. You couldn’t have been asleep for that long, no doubt woken by the snoring, so with the intention of going back to Heat's bed, you put all your strength into shoving his leg off of you. Unbeknownst to you, the venom Kid had injected you with had a healing effect, helping you regenerate your blood as quickly as possible, so the vampire could feed again quickly. It meant you felt none of the lightheadedness you felt earlier, in fact other than your hips hurting a little from Kid's harsh treatment you felt perfectly fine. Nothing a hot bath wouldn't fix though, which sounded like a nice idea right about now.

You threw on your shirt, wondering what had become of your pants, and quietly slipped out of the room. You considered using Kid's bathroom, but didn't want to push your luck with him. You made your way downstairs, about to open the door to Heat and Wire's bathroom when the door at the end of the hall opened, revealing Killer in his mask and sweatpants, his hair messy like he'd just gotten out of bed.

“What are you doing out here on your own, mouse?” Killer asked, leaning against his doorframe.

“I just left Kid's room,” you explained, “I was gonna have a bath before I went back to Heat.”

“You'll wake Wire running the bath this late,” Killer replied, stepping aside and beckoning you into his room, “come use mine instead.”

“Alright then,” you agreed. It didn't matter to you which bath you used, as long as you got some soothing hot water on your hips. You followed him into his room, not seeing much of the bedroom itself before the light from the hall disappeared as the door was shut. From what you could see, it looked tidy, decorated in blues and whites, with minimal decorations. He opened the door to his bathroom, flicking on the light and giving you another short look at the immaculately clean room before you followed him through, finding his bathroom to be a mirror image of the one Heat and Wire shared. Basic white porcelain amenities with tan tiles lining the bottom half of the wall and floors, the top halves tiled in white. The identical bathrooms each had a sink with decent counter space and drawers, a toilet, and a shower bath combo, the bath being large enough to fit someone tall and wide like many of the Kid Pirate crew were. For someone like you, that meant the bath was massive. Even for Killer, who was the smallest of the commanders, the bath was overkill. Not that you were complaining though as Killer went ahead and started filling it, adding oils and potions that made the water bubble and flooded the room with pleasant floral scents. Killer seemed like he was being extra nice to you, and you weren't sure why. In reality it was due to the fading scars of Kid's fangs that Killer could see on your neck. He appreciated you feeding Kid, knowing Kid would be in a much better mood tomorrow because of it, even if he didn't know that you didn't know you had done so.

Killer pulled down the toilet lid and sat on it as he indicated for you to get in the bath, so you slid off your shirt and sunk into the water, groaning at the pleasant temperature that Killer had gotten exactly right. You let yourself relax, enjoying a little the fact that Killer was definitely observing your naked body wherever the bubbles allowed him a window. “Do you want to join me, Kil?” You offered sweetly. He considered it for a moment, and finding no reason not to, stood and stripped his clothing, twisting his hair into a makeshift low bun to keep it dry. You pulled your legs up to make space for him as he slid in, the water almost spilling over to account for the extra displacement, and once he was settled you stretched back out, resting your feet on his thighs. He took one in his hands and rubbed it, making you sigh at the skillful massage.

“You know, you can take your mask off Kil,” you offered, “I know you don't trust me, but I have already seen your face. You must be getting awful condensation under there. Or I can close my eyes if you want. Whatever is most comfortable.”

Killer sighed to himself, feeling the uncomfortable dripping of sweat under his mask. He supposed it didn't matter much, since you'd already seen his face anyway, or at least you said you had. Either your story would be proven false and he'd never see you again anyway once they sold you, or you'd stick around and he'd get used to showing you his face at some point anyway. He hoped, since you had said he was one of your favourites, that you would be a safe outlet for him to explore the desires he had that required his mask to be off. Even something as simple as making out was not a luxury Killer usually had. You were so sweet with the way you doted on Heat despite his visual flaws, you didn't seem like the type who would make fun of him. And if you did, he could just kill you, so what did it matter? Perhaps it was worth the risk to feel his mouth against another's, or to be able to eat a woman out without needing to blindfold her.

With one last deep breath he reached back and unlatched his mask, sliding it off and placing it on the tile beside the tub, letting his messy bangs fall freely over his brows. You practically squeaked as you saw his unmasked face properly for the first time, his lips currently bare of lipstick since he'd previously been ready for bed. “My god, you're even more handsome in person!” You exclaimed, making him flush bright pink. You closed the distance between the two of you, sliding into his lap and pressing your breasts against his chest. “I bet your smile is even prettier in person too,” you purred, running your thumb over his lower lip, making him let out a small whine. He could tell you were being genuine, that this wasn't you just mocking him, and it made his dick twitch. “I can think of a few ways to make you smile too…”

“Yeah, like what?” Killer flirted back.

“Like, I could make you cum over and over until the only expression you can manage is a fucked out grin,” you replied, running your tongue along his jaw as you hand reached down between your bodies to find his cock. It was already hard as you grabbed it, making you smile mischievously. “Like that idea, do you? You're already so hard for me.”

“Fuck,” Killer growled as you started to pump his cock, focusing on the base while you brought down your other hand and rubbed your thumb over the sensitive head. Killer's head lolled back against the porcelain as you jerked him off, small groans escaping his mouth as you serviced him. You licked and nipped at his bared neck as your hands worked, leaving little red marks over his skin as he started to more openly pant, his cock throbbing in your hands as you moved faster.

“Does that feel good baby?” You purred. All he could give you in reply was a needy whine before he brought his head back up, looking at you with icy blue eyes that were black with lust before capturing your mouth with his, groaning as you forced your tongue into his mouth. “Good boy, Kil,” you purred as you pulled away, sucking on his ear lobe, “good boy, you gonna cum for me?”

“Fuck, yes, gonna- gonna cum,” he groaned, his hips trying their best to buck under your weight to fuck your hand faster. You took the hint and increased your pace, squeezing a little harder around his shaft. “Ah- fuck, mouse, ah, cumming.”

“Good boy Killer,” you purred, “good boy.” You slowed your pace but didn't stop entirely. As expected of his stamina, he hadn't gone soft yet, so you kept stroking him despite how overstimulated he was, enjoying the way he whimpered. “We're not done yet though baby, not until I see that pretty smile. Let's go to the bed though, shall we?”

“Mmm,” Killer replied, dazed from his orgasm but more than keen for another. You slid off his lap and stood, watching with amusement as he hungrily watched the water drip down your naked form. He shuffled forward and wrapped his arms around your thighs, pressing his face against your mound and looking up at you with pleading eyes.

“You want to taste me baby?” You cooed down at him, pushing his fringe out of his face. He nodded eagerly and nuzzled against you, but you pulled his hair hard, forcing his face away from you as you bent down a little to scold him. “You can taste me when you've been a good boy and given me what I want. Cum for me lots and show me that pretty smile, and I'll give you a reward. Can you be a good boy and do that for me, Killer?”

“C-can you call me puppy?” He asked with a whine, enjoying the way you pulled on his hair. You blinked in surprise at the request but certainly weren't opposed to it.

“Of course, puppy,” you replied, watching Killer's eyes light up and his cock twitch in response, “now be a good pup and go dry off and get on the bed, kay?”

“Okay!” He replied eagerly, almost knocking you down as he scrambled out of the tub and grabbed a towel. He grabbed one for you too before scurrying off to the bedroom, turning on a bedside lamp, knowing you wouldn't give him his reward till you got what you wanted. You took your time drying off, and when you came into the bedroom you were surprised to find Killer waiting for you with something in his hand. What looked like a series of attached belts, and a large dildo made to look like an enlarged version of a dog's cock, knot included. “Will you… use these?” He asked anxiously. He wasn't sure how far he could push you to indulge his kinks, but thus far you had shown you were more than willing to do whatever any of the commanders asked you to, so surely pegging him wasn't outside your comfort zone. Your mouth watered looking at him, his sweet handsome face waiting for you to reply, his cock red and needy. The great Massacre Soldier Killer, begging you to peg him. What a fucking day.

“You've been so good so far, I don't see why not,” you replied as you made your way to him, trying to hide how wet you were. If you'd slipped you were sure you would have just slid the rest of the way to the bed. “Come help me put it on, sweet puppy.”

Killer moved quickly to get the harness on you, tightening it so it fit like a glove. He was kneeling in front of you by the time he was done, showing you how eager he was by running his tongue over the silicone dildo and sucking on the end of it. “Look at you go puppy,” you praised, “you look so pretty with my cock in your mouth. I can't wait to see how pretty you look with your tight little asshole stretched around it.” You threaded your hand through his blonde hair, forcing him deeper onto the dildo, “Gag on it, puppy, show me how much you want it.”

Killer obediently took the cock as far as he could into his mouth, his eyes watering as he choked around the thick dildo, unable to take the knot in his mouth. “Good boy, pup,” you told him as you pulled him away, his lips releasing the silicone cock with a pop, “go lay on your back. You got lube for me pup?”

Killer grabbed a bottle from his sidetable for you before laying on his back, stroking his cock eagerly as he waited for you to touch him. Not in your wildest dreams did you think you'd get the chance to finger fuck, let alone peg someone as strong and proud as Killer, or call him puppy for that matter. It was frankly adorable, and it made your cunt ache. You weren't sure which of the two of you was more looking forward to him eating you out at this point. But first, you had a very needy puppy to attend to, as you knelt on the bed between his spread legs.

You coated your fingers in a liberal amount of lube, dripping some onto his asshole and spreading it around. Your other hand grasped his thigh, pulling him open as he fisted himself and hissed at the first touch of the cold liquid on his ass. You teased his entrance with your index finger before pushing it in, Killer immediately balling the sheets in his free hand and moaning. He was relaxed and willing, so it was easy to slide in a second finger, pumping him slowly at first as you eased him open. The dildo he wanted you to use was decently large, and your fingers were slim, you would need to work hard to work him open enough. You leaned down and sucked on his balls as you slid in a third finger and worked it to the last knuckle, sucking one marble into your mouth and playing with it with your tongue as your fingers moved faster. Finally you managed to fit in a fourth finger, working him wide open while he groaned and squirmed. You replaced his hand with your own, pumping him fast as you sucked on his balls, working his cock with your hand at the same pace you were working his ass until he cried out, his ass clamping around your fingers and ropes of cum spirting from his cock, splashing against your face and dripping over your fingers.

“Oooooh fuck,” Killer groaned as you slowly withdrew your fingers from his ass, running your tongue over your other cum coated hand and cleaning the remnants from his cock.

“You're being such a good boy, puppy,” you praised, making him whine. His cock was softening but it wasn't going to deter you, he didn't need to be hard for you to fuck his ass. “You got one more for me puppy? Ready for me to fuck that tight ass?”

“Yes!” He replied, “Yes, please, please fuck me.”

“You're so cute when you beg,” you cooed, saturating the dildo with lube and fisting it to spread it out, as well as adding more to his gaping asshole. You lined the tip up with his ass, more than excited to use the dildo on him. “So very pretty,” you slid in slowly, watching his whole body tense as he groaned and balled the sheets in his fists, his hips raising off the bed as you worked the dildo in deeper and deeper. “Good puppy, just like that, there you go.”

With slow, patient movement you were able to get the dildo up to the knot, the bulbous base pressing against his ass and stretching it a little further with each movement, threatening to squeeze inside. You stayed still as he adjusted around you, trying to treat him as you would hope to be treated, being careful and gentle, adding more lube when you felt necessary. “Good boy, just let me know when you're ready baby, okay?”

Killer groaned and nodded, panting already as he rolled his hips, beckoning you to move. You moved slowly at first, his cock slowly twitching back to life as you thrust in and out of him, “That feel good, pup?” You asked him. Killer couldn't answer in words anymore, too lost to his pleasure, his hands digging into your hips as he pulled you to fuck him harder and faster. His hips rolled in time with yours, fucking himself on the dildo as thin precum began to leak from his cock. He looked divine like that, the low light shining a warm glow across his well sculpted torso, his hair spilling out around him, his eyes closed and mouth open in a small ‘o’. You could tell he was getting close, his movements sloppy and desperate and his moans getting deeper and more akin to growls.

“The- the knot- please,” Killer groaned, trying to push himself further on to the strap. You pushed back against him, his vision going white as the bulb at the base of the dildo slipped inside his ass and his cock spurted a pathetic amount of cum, already spent from his earlier orgasms. His body shook, his thighs clamping around you and squeezing you as he whined. Then you got what you wanted, a fucked out smile spreading on his face as his eyes rolled back, just as pretty as you thought it would be, before finally his body went limp against the mattress.

“Don't pull out yet, please,” he pleaded. You stayed right where you were, letting Killer catch his breath as well as your own, having put your all into fucking him. After a while he gave you a nod, and you began to pull away, but he winced as the knot caught. You reached under and slid your pinky finger inside him, making him groan with the sting of the extra stretch, which was quickly remedied as you relieved the air pressure that was keeping the dildo trapped. With the suction finally released you were able to pull out, leaving his asshole gaping and clenching around nothing.

“Good puppy,” you praised, cupping his face tenderly and running your thumb over his cheek as he whined softly, “stay right there baby.”

You disappeared to his bathroom where you removed the strap, leaving it in the sink for him to clean later. You rummaged in his drawers until you found a handcloth, dampening it in the sink and returning to the bed where Killer was half asleep. He whined as the cool cloth touched him but allowed you to continue, wiping first the cum from his stomach and cock, before cleaning away the lubricant from his ass and thighs. You were about to get up to dispose of the cloth when he tore it from your hand, throwing it to the floor and rolling you to your back. Before you could protest, he was burying his face between your legs, his groans vibrating your needy cunt as he found how wet you were. He was pleased that you seemed to have enjoyed pegging him, and he ate you out as best he could to show you his thanks, sucking on your clit and lapping thick stripes up your pussy.

You gripped his hair hard, remembering from earlier how much he enjoyed when you pulled it, moaning as his whines sent another wave of vibrations through you. “Oh fuck, good pup,” you moaned, “what a thirsty puppy, drink up all you want my sweet pup.”

Killer moaned against you at your praises, dipping his tongue inside you and using the strong muscle to fuck you while his thumb rubbed your clit. His other hand reached under his chin, his middle finger rubbing at your asshole which was drenched with your dripping arousal. He pushed in just the tip, making your clit tingle pleasantly as he worked the three sensitive points simultaneously with his hands and tongue. “Oh fuck, just like that,” you groaned, pulling his hair hard, “yes, yes, fuck, good boy, gonna cum, fuck, fuck.”

His finger slid deeper into your ass and the extra pressure was enough to put you over the edge. You came with a scream as you gushed on his tongue, almost yanking his golden locks from his scalp with how hard you pulled. He withdrew the finger from your ass but continued to rub your clit hard, forcing an additional gush of release from you and making you see stars. You went limp against his bedding, shaking and panting, your whole body tingling with your orgasm as he gave one last wide stripe up your cunt. He crawled up the bed, kissing his way up your abdomen until he was looming over you, his mouth meeting yours. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he rubbed it against yours, your face getting wet as your cum transferred between your faces. Finally he rolled off you, laying beside you with a sated sigh. “Thanks,” he said softly.

“Mm, no need to thank me,” you breathed, “that was fun.”

“Please don't tell anyone though…” he said softly, a nervous tint to his voice, “about the… puppy thing. They'll laugh at me.”

“I won't tell a soul, Kil,” you smiled, rolling to your side to cuddle up against him, “it's nobody else's business.”

“Mouse,” Killer's tone turned serious, “your story, are you telling the truth?”

“Of course I am,” you replied, tracing his collarbone with a finger. The finger slid up his neck, catching on his chin and forcing him to look at you. “I would never lie to you, Killer. Never.”

Killer sighed softly and buried his face in your breasts, holding you tight. He desperately hoped you were telling the truth, feeling like he had someone he could be himself with. He'd be disappointed if they had to get rid of you afterall. Your heart was beating steadily though, no sign of fear or uncertainty, and he let that steady beat lull him to sleep, holding you close to him. He couldn't even remember the last time he slept unmasked next to a woman.

[Next Chapter]

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[assiraphales]

About that ask where Zoro gets jealous over Luffy wanting a mountain of a man as his shipwright (which begs the qn of why luffy prefers a huge dude to be his shipwright over Sanji's taste in beauties??? ~~w h y does Luffy suddenly have that preference when the result of the Merry being fixed stays the same-~~):

Notice how Zoro later wears that yellow open zipper shirt (~~showing off the results of his training or what~~)

while most of the time pre-timeskip up to that point (besides right after he got sliced by Mihawk), he doesn't let open his shirts much if at all lol

luffy: *talks about how he wants a tall strong mountain of a man to be their new shipwright*

the men of water 7: *literally all tall strong weird quirky n hot to the point that the townspeople fan girl over them*

zoro, looking back and forth between them and luffy:

zoro: ok the tits are coming out

[kurooscopy]

six minutes and fifteen seconds

word count - 1.2k synopsis - it's been a busy week, and celebrations are less than grand, but the only thing kuroo wants for his thirtieth birthday is to spend it with you a/n (ada's notes) - selfship coded as usual, timeskip!kuroo, reader and kuroo and cat daughter makes three ᰔ happy birthday baby

- ᓚᘏᗢ

“i’m back.”

you look up from your book, propping it open against your chest as you hear the click of the front door and kuroo’s voice ringing down the hall. his words sound tired, nearly drowned out by the rain pelting the windows of your apartment, so you add an extra touch of sweetness to you tone when you answer him.

“welcome home.”

he strides into the living room to see you curled up in the corner of the couch. mercifully, he appears mostly dry, courtesy of the old black umbrella left to dry in the genkan.

in his hands are an odd assortment of loose groceries, contained in a plastic bag; loose papers, contained in a briefcase; and a computer’s keyboard, tucked under his arm. quite the motley crew of items, reflective of a hectic day of running errands - the latest of them being a trip to his dad’s, who had rung before lunch complaining of technological difficulties. kuroo dumps his haul unceremoniously onto the bench.

“all fixed?” you ask kindly when he turns to you with a sigh. he doesn’t say anything else, but makes his way over to your nest of pillows and blankets.

it was already a cosy arrangement you had, but there’s an irreplaceable warmth kuroo brings as he settles his weight carefully atop you.

it takes some wriggling and readjusting, but he finally manages to rest his head comfortably on your chest, strong arms wrapping around your waist. his breaths peter out to match you slow, even ones, and your hand finds its way into his hair as you entwine yourself around his larger frame.

if it wasn’t for the way he practically purrs when you scratch gently at his scalp, you might think he’d fallen asleep then and there.

not that you could blame him, with the week the two of you had had. both of you absolutely swamped with work and kuroo’s colleagues dragging him out for pre-birthday drinks had, as usual, left the weekend for catching up on every other chore. add to that saturday night dinner with his dad and sister - it’s now sunday night, and his mother has still not called - and you had spent hardly any of his actual birthday together.

so you let him snuggle in close, relishing finally getting to feel his weight and warmth and the faded smell of his aftershave as his lips press lazily along your collar.

when it gets to the point that your own eyes start to droop, you force yourself to snap out of it.

“c’mon, sleepy,” you murmur against his temple. his hair, made wilder by the day, tickles your nose. “let’s have something to eat. i made your favourite.”

kuroo groans, and his reply is muffled into your shirt. “my favourite is to lie right here for ten more minutes.” it’s hard to stifle the affectionate giggle that bubbles up from your chest, even harder to not let yourself agree with him, but you have to think of the saury currently cooling on the stove.

��five,” you reason. “the fish will go cold, y’know.”

“seven.”

“six.” he says nothing for a moment, until you add, “and fifteen seconds.” now it’s kuroo’s turn to stifle a laugh.

“specific.” his voice is laced with scepticism, but you can feel the smile starting to creep across his face, and that’s good enough for you. “but deal.”

several silent six-minutes-and-fifteen-seconds-es later, the fish is reduced to crumbs on a plate and replaced with the cake you had picked up earlier from the bakery. after lighting the candles, you settle in the chair next to him and watch as kuroo blows them out. there’s no audience apart from the two of you, but somehow it’s better that way. without an audience, you get to watch the reflection of the flames flicker in those hazel eyes you know so well.

he takes it upon himself to cut two slices, handing you the slightly bigger one that you secretly swap back when he gets up to fetch cutlery.

“so, your first-” you glance over at the clock on the wall,” -19 hours of being 30. how does it feel? any grey hairs? how are your joints?” he rolls his eyes playfully as he reclaims his seat next to you, flashing you that cheeky grin.

“so mean to me, baby. if there are any greys, you already know whose fault it is.”

you feign thought before nodding knowingly. “the cat’s, ‘cause she keeps chewing up your ties.”

“touché.”

chuckling, you reach over to the side and procure the neatly wrapped gift you had found for him. well, neat might be an overstatement for some of the folding on this thing, but kuroo’s eyes light up in curiosity all the same.

“lucky i got you these then.”

when he rids it of the paper - again, an overstatement for a wrapping job that was at least forty percent tape - he opens the box inside to reveal a pair of silver cufflinks and a tie covered in tiny black cats.

“now this is genius,” he laughs, unfurling and inspecting the silky material, “she would never attack something made in her image.” the grin doesn’t leave his face, but something more genuine settles over his features as he gazes at you. “thank you, sweetheart.”

he doesn’t say it, but he doesn’t have to for you to know he’s not just thanking you for the tie.

you smile quietly back at him, letting him lean in to press a kiss to your cheek. “of course, my love.”

once the moment passes softly, you take a candle from the cake and stick it into his slice, pulling out your phone. “now smile!”

kuroo raises a playful eyebrow. “why, so you can tease me about my wrinkles?” you shrug defensively.

“you said it, not me, baby.”

he acquiesces once you bat your eyelashes a bit, letting you snap his picture for the low, low price of two kisses. they’re brief, but sweet like the icing on the cake. when you pull away, you don’t go far, running your thumb over the apple of his cheek that’s quickly turning the faintest shade of pink.

“happy birthday, tetsu,” you say softly. “thirty looks good on you.” he turns his head to steal another kiss to the inside of your palm.

“thanks, baby.” he stabs at his cake with the fork, holding up a tiny piece like a toast. “here’s to at least a few more?” you copy him with a laugh.

“at least a lot more, i’d say.”

you eat your piece, but kuroo sets his back down in favour of capturing your lips. it’s tender, not rushed nor desperate - purely an exchange of appreciation and love. his eyelashes flutter against your cheek, peppering their own tiny kisses over your skin, as if every part of him was built just for this. for loving you.

his nose, too, kisses yours as he comes up for air.

“as long as they’re with you.”

you know there’s nothing in the world that could stop them from being so.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

Fandom observation nicknames and funny tags: Part One Piece

Okay, one piece fandom it's your turn and I'm going to highlight your creativity. Again this is not meant to shame or call anyone out. I am genuinely impressed with the creativity and you guys made me laugh. So again in my opinion these were too good just to be lost in the tags or in the anonymous messages, several you sent me. So expand post at your own risk. This one is unhinged

*updated as of May 4th with more tags and new characters

I have mentioned this before, but for some reason that is beyond me. One Piece fandom you guys refer to your characters as daddy and mommy (And it's in a kinky way) way more than any fandom. I think I should just start with the list of characters that have been labeled as such before I go into the creative names for individual characters. Because trust me who makes the list and who doesn't is actually funny.

One piece Daddy's: Shanks, Mihawk, Buggy, Sir Crocodile, Benn Beckman, Killer, Sanji, Rayleigh, Roger, Doflamingo, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Ivankov, Arlong, Yamato, Marco, Izou, Smoker, Garp, Sengoku, Zeff, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Akainu, Blackbeard

When it comes to the One piece Mommy's: Nico Robin, Boa Hancock, Charlotte Smoothie, Charlotte Galette, Charlotte Amande, Vice admiral doll, Catarina Devon, Ivankov & Crocodile

Now due to popular demand the new category the One Piece Babygirls: Ace, Buggy, Sanji, Luffy, Sabo, Zoro, Ussop, Marco, Crocodile, Doflamingo, Kid, Law, Bepo, Killer, Mihawk, Shanks, Perona, Yamato, Kuzan/Aokiji, Kizaru, Fujitora, Rosinante/Corazon, Katakuri, Smoker, Robin, Nami, Vivi, Jinbe, Hatchan, Roger, Zeff

Now when it comes to individual characters there have been some interesting standouts but I'm just going to do some highlights because you guys have so many characters

Ace: "Depressed sunshine orphan boy with daddy issues", "ace has that grungy line cook riz you know he lays legendary pipe", " he got goofy older brother swag", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", "Ace my greasy fire narcoleptic king", "The narcoleptic babygirl", the greasy crusty desert rat. "He would be worth the burn risk", "my favorite fire donut", "something about greasy alabasta ace hits so different", "with his riz he's probably a walking STD risk but it would be worth it. Just look at him probably also probably got a couple bastard kids running around the grand line", it's ok he's still greasy in my heart worlds most feral baby boy he looks like he eats dirt I could fix him (force him to bathe regularly)

Aramaki “I'm a sucker for plant/earth based powers, can't help it. Plus he's got the lovely shirt allergy. And he is genuinely better looking than Volcano Gru.” “

Arlong: "Y'all are too afraid to recognize the truth too afraid of his drip, his swagger, his saw nose, to admit that he's hot also live action arlong?!?!the only sexy fishmen," "arlong looks like a toxic florida frat bro," "I legitimately think there's something wrong with me sometimes due to how bad I want arlong the rancid personality enhances the appeal", "yall are p****" arlong is sexy put some respect on his name look at those lips the laugh the hair!"

Akainu: "The world's next top authoritarian," magma Daddy, "He makes donuts and I still love him" “akainu looks like a toxic yaoi seme in a yakuza story (this is hot) (100% would let him do to me what toxic yaoi semes do to poor unfortunate ukes)” “akainu is too wide and stiff. He'd probably loosen up if I gave him a blowjob but I wouldn't because he's ugly and a bad person” “I like scars.” “proof that a beard can change men” “yo sakazuki is hot PERIODT. However post-ts has a little goatee and that's fucking sexy as shit love that love you daddy sakazaddy yum” “My baby daddy looks hot in both versions though😍😍😍” “pre timeskip because he's only a cop then and not the head of all cops” “are people voting like literally hotter? cos that burgundy outfit has only been worn better by Doflamingo and the sakazuki camellia (like that’s its actual cutivar-synonymous with Sakazukiba apparently) like I’m guessing it’s the fire joke cos I love pink and red together and it’s one of the few redeeming features of akainu well he’s still got the camellia in the second but it’s striking in the first against the red” “reblogging bc this is the funniest picture of akainu ive ever seen bless u op reminds me of the ‘mom says it’s my turn on the xbox’ memes” “

Bartolomeo: "the man hasn't showered in probably a week he's obsessed with the strawhats he'll pee anywhere and he's an absolute dweeb he's like a stray mutt that followed me home look at his fit it's AWFUL AND FABULOUS he's gross and dumb and if something bad happens to this silly barrier- creating puppy i'll LOSE IT"

Belo Betty: "True story: Belo Betty made me, an Aroace woman have a sexuality crisis."

Ben Beckman: Dilf, "retirement blorbo", "Benn Beckman is a religious experience", "to me? beckman is the character with the most sex appeal ever. raw sex appeal. I would [redacted] if I met this man. just sayin", "He can ruin my life any day of the week", "Also lest we forget pre TS Beck a++ quality right there I just want someone smart who will also hit a guy with a gun is that so much to ask for", "This p**** wants what she wants and its always going to be Benn “back breaker" Beckman", husband material, "men are like wine in order to get a good vintage you want the one that's aged", he had that sexy blind and reckless loyalty about him", "Beckman is a fine aged vintage of wine as men should be", "DEAR GOD the things I WOULD DO to that man LIKE [redacted] and [redacted] because [redacted] and [redacted]", "idk how to explain it but he's so wife", "benn beckman? more like benn breastman ok sorry yeah anyways. said it before and ill say it again beckman exudes raw sex appeal like jesus christ. why would you not want to fuck this man ive had lesbian friends who said he would be an exception to them which is so real his tits are big he loves his captain he STUBBED HIS CIGARETTE IN A MAN'S EYE UNDER THE GUISE OF DEFENDING HIS CAPTAIN so fucking sexy mwah mwah beckman my wife you are so hot SO HOT. in conclusion benn breastman you will forever be a top sexyguy in my head oh also forgot to add. he canonically gets bitches which is so real. he could get me any day", "Oh dear I just realised I have a thing for older men with grey hair and have substance abuse issues I choose to believe lung cancer does not exist in opu", "

Buggy: Assigned clown at birth, walking disaster, "my pathetic sniveling wet clown", my Beloved, "he has blue hair and pronouns", Failboy, "the skrunkly clown", "my clown wife", "he has that fail boy cringe", "buggy has the stronger levels of foolishness and fumbling his way to success", "the cringefail clown extraordinaire buggy", "he is silly and pathetic like a bisexual divorced dad",

Catarina Devon: "my problematic lesbian sugar mommy”,

Caesar Clown “He gives me insane gender envy” “The horns The eyes The hair That pale creamy skin with barely defaults and mark for a man of his age Skinny as i like Love his make up His laugh is so funny Fuck his devil fruit is so cool and so useful ( even in the bedroom) I want to cheer up that pathetic whimpering mess and hear him rambling about the most awful things in life He is smart and passionate So yeah, pretty much the ideal wife to me. Wdym Drug test on children and chemical warfare? Meeeeeeh i've done worse, i buy my clothes on Shein (jk)” “Half the reblog tags being fellow Caesar Clown truthers. There aren’t many of us, but we won’t shut up” “caesar solidarity give our piss baby a chance#<3” “voting for Caesar even though he is objectively not the hottest give him a chance” “HOW IS CAESAR SO FAR BEHIND ON THIS i don’t care what he did to those children he’s hot” “thank god caeser is annihilating that asshole FUCK HIM UP CLOWN BOY” “at least Caesar Clown is kind of serving cunt” “I can somehow overlook the horrible things Ceasar has done when placed next to the worst father in history” “CAESAR MY BELOVED BABYGIRL pepper sprays judge choke bitch thank fuck caesar is winning he'd be so pleased with himself and rub it in judge's face” “bad parenting is never hot but warcrimes sometimes can be caesar gets my vote” “

Chopper "????????? chopper is baby who tf thinks hes hot????????????????????????” “

Cracker: "if Cracker just let his hair down he'd be unstoppable i fear", "get wrecked cracker", "I am so curious about the people voting for cracker let me study you please", "cracker getting murdered as expected", "you can't do my biscuit husband like that", "i find cracker really hot"

Crocodile: desert daddy, Babygirl, "He's like if tony soprano was trans", crocodaddy, crocomommy, Big titty mob boss, He's 8ft tall and I would let he ruin me,"Mr. Sandman", "the human sandcastle," "literally has sand in his britches", "son of a beach", "World's Most Expensive Sand Sculpture", "he's got 99 problems and his hook is one of them", "casino blorbo", "I would subject myself to sandburn any day for THE SIR FUCKING CROCODILE Anakin Skywalker don't go here because I WOULD love sand if it was like 8 feet tall and had a voice like that absolutely rabid he could stick his sand in so many places and I'd thank him crocodile is one of those guys i wanted to hate so bad and then went actually no i want this guy carnally Crocodile has some weird rizz goin on and i need to climb that sandcastle", "I'm so sorry but I need to eat crocodile's pussy", "With Sir Crocodile you can have Sex on the Beach. Literally. Plus he owns a casino so you could probably sip on the cocktail version too...while getting some cocktail.", "mafia vibes and style", "crocodile's got style. class. you will be wined and dined in the most exquisite way you can imagine", "He's got DADDY vibes", " One handsome mafia boss", "I love crocodile but also i wanna punch him and i feel like hes got the sandiest pussy/dick that shit will give me a rash", "my evilest baby boy", "Crocodile invented evil trans swag just saying", "im sorry az but crocodile was my dilf awakening", "in Crocodilf we trust",

Dragon: "the revolutionary scrungle dragon",“Dragon is winning. I look at him and all I can see is a deadbeat dad version of Gajeel Redfox.” “

Doflamingo: "Dofy's got some wierd (potentially fun) energy but he would NOT treat you well he'd be awful", "The psychopathic pimp on a shoestring budget. Seriously dude, San Diego Zoo called and they want their flamingos back. That coat is so last season.", "fashion travesty", "Doflamingo dresses like an eye test and will probably steal your credit card by the end of the night not because he needs the money. because he finds it hilarious", "Mingo is just a spoiled frat fuckboy who's too full of himself to be interested in anyone/anything else", "a balding white man", "evil florida man my beloved they dont understand you", "Budget Pimp who robbed San Diego of their world famous Flamingo flock"

Eustass Kid: Pirate punk, "He's a sopping wet loser", "a man wearing eyeliner and nailpolish is by definition hotter", "my scrungy little fuck", he would also probably give me an STD and it would still be worth it" “he won't win because you guys don't recognize good tits when you see them 😋” "He yapps like a Chihuahua" “EUSTASS CAPTAIN KIIIIIDDDDD MY FUCKING MAAAAAN i need him ** ** ***” “EUSTASS-YA GETTING THE RESPECT HE DESERVES THE BIG TIDDIE SHITWAD”Kid's got the rack” “Kid is like what 12 yr old Naruto (the character) imagines sexy to be” “ useless mid has already got his ass beat by shanks twice in canon, do we really need to kick him while he's down like this? 😭💀” “as soon as i saw eustass it was fucking over for the rest of them sorry ww” “eustass kid i don't want to fix him i want to join him in his insanity” “he won't win BUT Eustass Kid my love my babygirl” “EUSTASS MF KIIIIIID that's my MAAAAN but he doesn't need fixing i accept him as is he's beautiful” “Kid ♥️my fave war crime husbando” “my red-headed owl man deserves more votes” “hes a fucking beef cake love him oda needs to stop making his men hot af” “I still feel victimized by this pic of Kid I am unwell I've literally never felt attracted to someone's mouth specifically but Kid's” “Lol. Unstable fuckboy himbo is exactly why I like him.” “

Franky: " Three words light up nipples"

Fujitora: "fujitora yes plz that like calm collected way he fights makes me KNOW hed take care of his partner real good", "have you seen how he slurps his noodles? I just know he could eat me out in ways I could never imagine"

Garp “garp all the way his scottish accent does it for me and the salt and pepper look” “Objectively? Garp. However he loses points for being a pig” “uh oh i have gender envy for garp but” “I just have to clarify, because I went through the tags. That is not a Scottish accent you're hearing from Garp, it's Welsh. Vincent Regan is Welsh, which is still a Celt but completely different from a Scottish. For starters, you can understand him and that is the biggest hint that it's not Scottish you will ever get.” “monkey d garp should show me what the d in his name stands for” “garp lost this because y'all are FUCKING COWARDS don't worry gramps i got ya” “

Gol D. Roger: "the "Tom Selleck" of Pirates. He mustache'd the gold somewhere. You think these puns are bad wait until you hit my NSFW tags. Can't believe no one pointed those out yet, his name is a literal gold mine of innuendo. king of pirates? nah he's the king of rogering roger this roger that roger anyone he damn well pleases he has the D", "why does no one thirst after Gol like i do? youre all weak! cowards", "sorry but i am all about his dads mustache", " I can't be the only one that wants to ride that mustache"

Iceberg “i honestly think this is the hardest poll so far genuinely can't pick one it's driving me insane like young Iceburg is very pretty and has long hair which is a weakness of mine but current Iceburg is a certified dilf i wish i was tyrannosaurus so he'd carry me in his shirt pocket all the time 🥺… … … yeah okay i think it's current Iceburg” “hmmmmmm hard like current one but… I am weak for long hair very weak” “is the sunrise or sunset more beautiful” “HOW TO DECIDE…………………….i like me a mature man so older i guess” “

Izou “the things I would do to get izou to shove his gun up my ass…” "Izo is absolutely my type.” “DUDEEEE IZOU PRETTIEST MAN ALIVE IZOU genuinely i would take izou over ace <- unpopular opinion but oughhhh. he. I” “

Jinbe: "I wanna suck on the webbing between his fingers", does anyone else contemplate how soft Jinbe's tits are to lie on or is that just me?" “There are many benefits to marine biology” “2 dicks” “jinbei !!!! look at him !!! he's handsome and his smile is beautiful he's big and strong and honorable and i love him” “hes my role model i find him so hot. big burly and kind yeas” “when you look for the world DILF in an encyclopedia Jimbei's picture is there fish dad” “VOTE FOR JINBEI I LOVE ME A MAN SHAPED LIKE A COUCH” “1000000000% jinbei he's an unshrinkwrapped well-hydrated handsome fella” “jinbe my beloved he’s just so huggable and friend shaped” “

Kaido: "beefcake beast of a man",

Katakuri: "I'm a monsterfucker at heart", "Katakuri is literally so good man he's a family man #he's badass he's got a great sense of honour you know I had to go for the mochi man", "donut king", "KATAKURI MY MOCHI MONSTER TEETH KING CHAMPION HUSBAND THAT I WOULD CLIMB LIKE A MOUNTAIN #I'M ALWAYS ON MY CLIMBING AGENDA WITH MY ONE PIECE KINGS!", "i just know this man would treat me right we love kata", "Kata definitely ticks that hot box"

King: "King is literally the most beautiful OP character you can't change my mind", "Gotta chose the melanin yknow", "king is so ajdhjdjdjchjd bark bark bark bark", "I saw King and decided he is my blorbo", "king of my [REDACTED]", " I know he's like 20 ft tall and I'm probably the size of his d*** but it would be worth it. I would gladly choose death by snu snu for one night with him"

Killer: "big tiddy murder boyfriend", “KILLER KILLER IT THE HOTTEST HOE PLS ONE PIECE FANS FOLLOWING ME YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO THE OTHER GUY IS COOL TOO BUT KILLER IS MMMMMMM” “I mean… long haired men are my weakness but Killer” “why does killer look like a bnha character” “

Marco: Bird daddy "Mr. Dr. Emotionally-Stable Scrungles", "surfer hippy electric blue glasses wing flapper", "DR. MMMMM", Fineapple

Luffy: "l am in the minority here I need luffy's gomu gomu no [REDACTED]"

Mihawk: The Vampire Pirate, Goth Dad, the sword father, Pirate Dracula, the big titty goth husband, "I think mihawk would treat you right. i want mihawk to treat me right", "I love his gay wine uncle energy", "I appreciate that he dresses Like That everywhere extra ass bitch", "hot vampire cowboy pirate", Morticia Addams, "Mihawk oozes 'step on me' energy",

Oden “imma be real i'm an oden girlie he's so fine” “

Reiju “MY WIFE REIJU <3333 SHE IS THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS i would do ANYTHING for her” “REIJUUU WALLALalalallala” “reiju my queen <3” “i have a thing for dark beauties i adore her” “

Robin: "she has irresistible weird girl rizz", "big tiddy archaeologist gf"

Rosinante: "my insane clumsy tall dilf", "wife material", "he has cringefail dad swag", "rosi is everything to me actually. I would climb that tall clumsy king like a tree", "the klutzy mime", "he has that pathetic depressed clown vibe thats irresistible", "He's the epiome of strong but silent, he's the asshole with a heart of gold, he has everything", rosinante is hot tho and his clumsiness somehow enhances it", "I've said it before and I'll say it again I WOULD climb that clumsy king like a tall tree want to kiss him until his silly jester makeup is all over me too", "I am loyal to the guy who actively sets himself on fire",

Sabo: "bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me" “sabo is so hot omg IMAGINE JIS FIREFISF UP UR HOLE 😍😍” “Sabo. I love Sanemi but Sabo 10000000% Also. The one piece art is beautiful. Period.” “Great Googly Moogly Eyes" “sabo!? if you don't find a man with a lead pipe hot then I can't help you but I can try” “hey do u think sabo would use the lead pipe in be- the sound of the horny jail gates opening with a speed and splendor heretofore unheard of no but really do you think he lays pipe in more ways than o- horny jail escape sirens drown me out” “sorry sabo those fuckin eyes are too weird for me” “I’m going with sabo he’s an unhinged anarchist who’s literally made of fire and cracks skulls as easily as eggs (canon) he’s just a silly little guy!” “my “problematic” man LOL problematic cause hes blonde. ive heard some shit but wow 😂anyway about the actual poll. i can die happy in the minority when my man Sabo is an option sabo my beloved” “ok i think sabo deserves more poll than this (fucking unhinged feral hnnnn) but i will accept him losing to armstrong because /yeah/ drools” “SABO?!?!??!?!?!?! yeah hes an anarchist but like. we love that for him” “sabo bc he said killing woth lead pipes and then he just kept doing it its the crazy for me” “

Sanji: fail wife, Cooking Daddy, "I NEED sanji to f*** me to tuesday and make me dinner before and breakfast after", "The man will feed you the best meal you've ever had and genuinely compliment something about you", "His fighting style is 'kick the problem until it goes away' and he chugs Love Women Juice", "he can cook and fight and he's damn fine while doing both"

Shanks: Margaritaville Himbo, "Dilflicious", "the deadbeat malewife wifi user", "I am a whole lesbian but if there were a butch girl version of these men I would let shanks ruin my life", "favorite guy in the local frat" He's probably a walking STD risk but he's hot and I'm a slut that has a thing for red heads, "the unwashed bitch", "LOOK AT THAT SCRUFF ON SHANKS the three scars on his face that smile", "my Scrungle drunk bastard", I would volunteer to be his next baby mama you know shanks got a few a dozen red haired children all over the grand line tell me I'm wrong," " The biggest fuckboy to ever whore about the Grand Line."

Smoothie: "ah...smoothie....or as i call her... one piece tsunade Imaoo", "ultimately my desire to be crushed by Smoothie's thighs won out", "SMOOTHIE. THANK YOU mommy long legs... gauhggfghgh......i want her to juice me pleeeeaaaseeeeeeeeeee /silly",

Silvers Rayleigh: "Silver Fox Rayleigh", "he's old but he can get it", "Rayleigh has that 'your daughter calls me daddy too' energy", "he's a gilf who married a literal queen", "rayleigh has spent his entire life SERVING CUNT", "Raiyleigh has that gilf energy despite having no kids", I need him in so many different ways I cannot list", "he has my heart around his little finger", "Rayleigh makes me howl like a dog I swear", "I mean come on look at his HAIR his GLASSES that incredible STARE even his wrinkles are hot", "Rayleigh got the 50 year anniversary in the bag idk why you would go for anything else", "helloooo????? Rayleigh is the hottest old guy in one piece please", "I would let rayleigh ruin me and I would thank him", "Rayleigh to me is more like a really smooth mead", "genuinely may be the hottest man of onep just like. objectively", "rayleigh you will always be famous for being the most fuckable old man ever. there may be dilfs galore out there but ur the only gilf in my heart", "that scene where Rayleigh gets out of the ocean shirtless After swimming to the island of women I actually said Daddy out loud",

Smoker: "Smokedaddy", "Smokestack. 'Ole Smokey. Smokin' Hot Smoker", "smokers allergy to keeping his Tits covered compels me", "i do love smoked sausage i'm sorry i'll see myself out", "smoker he's just so beefy like fuckkk and he's like almost 40 i just wanna be smokers lil housewife", "smoker is a beautiful lesbian to me", "smoked sausage I just *know* he's got more to work with than a cocktail weenie", "SMOKEYBEAR PAPA SMOKE MY KING i would smoke him like a chimney if you're pickin up what I'm putting down wink wink nudge nudge he really would kill my lungs but it'd be a fun time", "SMOKER PAPUCHO RICO I NEED HIM", "smoker is solid (despite being made of smoke)", "smoker. smo-yan. ultimate "guy who is allergic to wearing shirts" and honestly? he's so right for that. he needs to show off his tits! in a one piece man boob ranking he's coming number 2 (after crocodile) i said this in dms earlier today but it needs to be released to the world "fat d*ck fat tits fat ass he has it all" smoker is PACKINNNNN in every way he's genuinely so attractive, even just considering him physically and look at his sexy facial scar also (beck also has one. very good) and his slicked back short hair.....not to mention the things that are very endearing about him personality wise - he does masculinity like NOBODY ELSE. genuinely NO ONE does it like him like. he's gruff but he has a very strong personal moral code and he really *does* care..... the man's a tsundere and he's never been cruel to those undeserving like in his introduction - kids bumps into him, spills ice cream on his pants YOU KNOW WHAT SMOKER SAYS? YK WHAT HE SAYS? "my pants ate your ice cream." KILL ME NOWWWWWW HES SO FUCKING HOT IM EATING MY OWN HANDS and then he GIVES THE KID MONEY TO BUY MORE ICE CREAM. jesus christ smoker big d*ick big tits big heart i fucking love him good god", "something something vague moaning sounds I would call him smokey just to provoke him", "

Trafalgar Law: "DR. Slut", "He has them tattoos which makes me go fucking feral", "A stoner greasy boyfailure", "the edgy emo orphan boy with daddy issues", 'My tried stressed bitch", "law is hot because hes pathetic has tattoos and is the narrative's favorite punching", "i am DERANGED over a depressed formerly-suicidal surgeon", ”I summon the law girlies” “Traffy” “dr heart stealer” “dr sexy” “snow leopard” “captain pirate doctor” “mr steal yo girl” “mr grumpy” “mr grumpy tsundere doctor” “fem law would be hotter if she was flat chested and had hairy armpits” “i NEED to be in a toxic are they even with femlaw we could be the worst yuri in the world i mean regular law is more smash than pass vut fem law?? whooole other LEVEL” “hell yeah my man gettin the appreciation he DESERVES#in my heart hes a total loser but hes 100% a hot loser” “ohhh don’t make me choose… I’m still kind of a sucker for this kind of character design trafalgar law would be hotter as a real person (would slobber all over the place)” “law's got my heart and my p*ssy in a tight grip cringefail daddy” “I know for a FACT that law would fuck me BLIND and treat me damn well better than any other man in one piece” “He's a pathetic, foul-mouthed, tattooed doctor with a very dark sense of humor. Whats not to like?” “He's an emo babygirl with so many issues + objectively very attractive, smart and powerful. What's not to like?” “in my heart i am writing a 5000 word essay to defend this man but my brain is tired so this is what you get i love law send tweet” “hes hot in the most pathetic way if that makes sense yes it was definitely the damsel in distress princess era but also his backstory was interesting so he intrigued me and hes physically good looking too his devil fruit is also pretty strong which lets him pull off cool attacks especially in wano and yeah 👍im pretty biased to him if you couldnt tell haha” “but el woowoo got that suicidal lapsed catholic negative rizz” “

Yamato: "I need my trans man big naturals...... I know nothing about one piece but yamato lives rent free in my brain and my heart at all times the only anime figure i have is of him and i don't even watch the fucking show", "he's new + he's trans + he's over 8 feet tall + he's a wolf god what more could you want?!", "he is filled to the brim with TRANSMASC SWAG", "it's transmasc dog boy swag for me he's my best boy", "Yamato's boobs call to me I need to motorboat yamato titties. whoa who said that", "yamato could crush me and i would thank him yes indeed", "I just found out Yamato is Literally a whole entire meter taller than me & that's all the convincing I need", "my canon transmasc king", "cant compete with is the fact that on top of beautiful yamato is just. fucking huge like i can not will not get over it every time i remember he's 8'7 in canon I'm like aaaAaaAaAAaAAAAaa kiss me on the mouth big boy", "as an aroace person. if yamato stepped on me id thank him. thank you for your time", "hes literally the whole reason i started watching/reading one piece

Zoro: "The President of the strawhat's local big titty committee", "The king of boobs", "Beautiful butch dyke wife", I would probably get an STD but it would be worth it, "his stupidity and gay attire make him very appealing", canonically the biggest tits in one piece, He got them big naturals, "Big honkabadonkaroo hoinkybadinkirs massive man tiddies Zoro", "Zoro oozes 'I won't let anyone hurt you' energy", "zoro is hot because of his big naturals

Zeff: "He will wine and dine me before leaving me lovingly bedridden the day after. And he actually takes care of his kid", "Zeff is honorable and can cook and clean and bathes and almost dies for a kid that's not his and then adopts him" He's got line cook energy. If you know you know " “Zeff can COOK and at least he doesn't outsource his child endangerment.” “LMAO i made my sister come debate this with me and we had opposite opinions WAIT HANG ON I FORGOT TO FACTOR IN THAT ZEFF CAN COOK HMMMMMMMM” “how is zeff losing???? guess he’s just my kind of guy 😭” “they did my boy zeff dirty on this one” “voting Zeff because He Tried Damn It he deprogrammed Sanji's worst traits and made Sanji a decent induvidual also MUSTACHE” “

I definitely know I'm going to have to add to this since there's so many more characters and you all are definitely going to get more creative after seeing the list.

And a few observations. Why did Sanji make the daddy list and not Zoro? Characters that I thought would be short cliff notes turned into some of the longest sections And characters I thought would have some of the longest sections turned into some of the shortest ones. And I still think this was worse theyn JJK I just forget how unhinged this fandom can be because your unhinged craziness is dispersed amongst so many characters. And I haven't decided which fandom's next.

I now have my answer on why Sanji made the list and not Zoro. Overall the fandom is just thirsty so very thirsty. Hence the many updates to this list

Commentary added as of May 4th.

Characters that I never thought I would ever add to this post are on here and I am so confused. When I started this blog, I was warned that the JJK fandom was unhinged horny and thirsty AF. But in my opinion, the one piece fandom is much worse. Just look at this post for proof. One Piece you guys are definitely the thirstiest fandom by far I mean Catherine Devon has a section. You guys just hide it better than the JJK Fandom. Plus I do regret challenging a few of you to come up with tags as a joke because you definitely delivered

[pocket-jack]

Hey, guys! I decided to torture myself before sleep beacause... Why not? So, here's KidKiller's rough sheets with some headcanons I have for the guys (probably with a lot off mistakes cus my browser refuses to fix them for me)

Kid time, baby

I draw him differently now. I know his face looks more... diamond shaped in anime, but I can't get rid of his square coded energy, so... Heart-shaped it is!

When he recieved his eye scar he didn't lose the ability to see, but now it get's dry really fast and if he won't do something about it it'll gonna ache.

He had multiple piercings on his ear, but his powers just kept pulling them and one day almost ripped his ear of, so he (with a manly tears) decided to take them off.

I headcanon him wearing a corset, because he's a little chubby and he can't get rid of this extra fat (not with his appetites). Also everytime when he takes it off, not only he's forced to look at his hanging stomach, but he's also has to fight off Killer. Killer's only dream was for Kid to be well fed and happy.

Nor his, nor Killer's sexuality is defined by them, but actually based out of other's observations. Kid is pansexual because he's kinda gender blind. For him it's confusing that you're weak just because you have tits and extra hole between your legs. He's also demiromantic. Both of those preference he acquired during Kutsukku (where you couldn't trust anyone, even your lover. And where the gender norms were the least of your concerns)

He also have undiagnosed ADHD which mostly give him extra impulsivity and also now the metal can speak (thank ye, neurodivergency!). Sometimes it's stresses him the hell off, especially during Kutsukku. He could not sleep because of all of this buzzing he kept hearing from EVERYWHERE. Now he can control it, but sometimes it returnd and he has to suffer.

Metal also responds to his hidden emotions. It may float when he thinks, reflects or remembering something. It may rumble when he's angry, concerned, scared. Or it may form something if he's happy, in love or something like that.

He's hard rock kinda guy, we all know this, but I headcanon him as a music lover in general (so whatever makes his brain go bzzt, mostly rock). I find Thrown a couple of month ago and it's sounds like something Kid would like (probably even kin, esp Backfire). MSI is a basic thing for him to have (every punk need at least one song in their playlist). I guess not every person will understand it, but Пшлнхй is such a Kid coded song (Every Russian proverb, but one part is just sending you to fuck yourself is something that Kid would do irl. The chorus is just... mmm)

Killer, my beloved!!!!

I love headcanoning him as androgenous. He has a feminine features: oval shaped face, eyes with big eyelashes, even his lips is a little softer than the average male lips. That is the main reason why he hid his face, because everyone would bully him fot it when he was young. Killer was confused with a girl a lot during his time on Kutsukku.

During timeskip he strained a lot of muscles just to get stronger. He was neglecting himself most of the time, because he had a mission: to become stronger so he'll never fail to protect Kid ever again. They also been really distant during their training. Only when Killer hurted his arm they bounded again. Kid was surprisingly a good mentor for his healing. Probably because their trauma was almost the same

When he's wearing a mask he usually get's his hair out of the way so it wouldn't mess with his vision

Pre timeskip he wanted to work on his style, feeling obliged to do so, cus his crew was dressing up in colorful styles. He choose to fit into more West Bluish kinda style (cowboy boots and pants). But then anxiety hitted him and suddenly he felt too vissible and everyone was looking at him and... Let's just say it wasn't a pleasant expirience for him. He just wanted to show that he was a part of the crew too, but now he feels himself too overreacting and dramatic and stuff. It took a lot of time for everyone to convince him that it wasn't about the look, but more about the comfort. With their support Killer started wearing something he likes more, and it felt fantastic. He actually started to like himself in the mirror a bit more after timeskip and then Wano happened

Killer is asexual beacuse of the amount of trauma he suffered during his childhood. I hc him having a low libido too. He's still feels romantic attraction (only for Kid), and if he asks, Killer will have sex with him without hesitation. But it's only for Kid, OR for his sake

It is so logical for him to have OCD. Just him casualy living and then the dread that if he won't do something usefull his crew will see how fucking usless and worthless he actually is and live him behind the same his parents did just suddenly hits him. Oh hey! Anxiety! Abandonment issues! This man will explode, please, give him a hug.

It got worse after Wano. He's doing bad things with his face and no one knows. Even Kid. (I love making them suffer for the sake of Hurt\Comfort)

I am 100% sure Killer is a Queen guy. It just gives me Killer vibes... The same with Elton John. And also... To fit in his pre timeskip cowboy vibes into the oven,,, He's actually like country rock alongside with glam rock. Barns Courtney is his favorate

So... How do you like my silly little headcanons? Maybe I post something about Heat and Wire too. Welp, I'm fainting out of exaustion, bye!

[base0h]

When op characters throw their backs out

a/n - I watched househusband today 👍

Warnings ⚠️ - crack, g/n reader, shanks is a manbaby

- you thought an emperor of the sea could throw his back out??? Ridiculous!!

- … *crack* “OW DAMMIT-“

- literally on the floor struggling not to start bawling

- WHY WAS IT SO PAINFUL?!

- this was more painful than losing his arm 💀

- starts calling your name with that slight break in his voice at the end 😭

- he requires cuddles and absolute pampering right now

- will start crying like a baby 😐

- “Baby it hurts so bad- I want you to know that I love you so much.”

- “Shanks baby you’re not dying, you just hurt your back a bit.”

- *gasp*

- “I’M ONLY 40!”

- has an existential crisis about how he’s so old 💀

- “You were there when joyboy was born lmfao.” -yasopp

- “Yasopp now he’s sad again!” -you

- You start hugging him in your lap, running your fingers through his hair while trying to soothe his pain

- he loved seeing you take care of him so much that he literally got hurt more often??

- “Y/n I scraped my knee!”

- “Hehe I broke my leg-!”

- “I lost my other arm can you give me hugs and kisses?”

- so dramatic 🙄

- with that shrimp posture of his it’s no wonder he threw his back out

- have you seen the way this man walks during pre timeskip? 🦐🦐🦐🦐

- he stood up one day, already feeling uncomfortable tension in his lower back that day

- straightening his back pushed it, *crack*

- the way his eyes widened and he immediately just collapsed into the chair, struggling to support himself

- he’s usually very good with pain and has a super high tolerance, but why tf did this hurt so bad?!

- he knew he threw his back out- he specifically took steps to avoid this (minus fixing his posture)

- you walk in to see your poor lover struggling for his life

- he’s pretty much out of commission for the rest of the day.. So you mostly do everything for him (he’s not happy about this btw)

- “y/n, no you don’t have to hug me- I’m fine-!”

- “shut up and let me hug you.”

- “….fine.”

- “OW DONT SQUEEZE THAT HARD-!”

- lmao this poor guy

- he hates how you’re babying him all day, feels like he’s useless

- “Well I mean- you are.. But only for today!” -you

- “was that supposed to help me?”

- just cuddle him, he’ll start to calm down after a while lol 💀

- he’s like a pufferfish, he’ll deflate eventually 👍

- lifting 4099 lbs on a normal ass typical day 💀

- And then when he raised it over his head, he felt something snap in his back

- he grunted, falling backwards, the massive weight falling on top of his chest, trapping him underneath it

- literally choking on the weight while his back throbs 😭

- you’re struggling to kick 4099 pounds off this idiot

- “Y/n- *cough* it’s not that heavy!”

- “SHUSH.”

- Luffy had to come in and help you guys. He took about a minute or two to laugh first though

- “BAHAHAHAHA IT’S LIKE WHEN YOU GOT STUCK IN THE CHIMNEY!”

- *flashbacks*

- he’s literally running out of air pls 💀

- when he finally got out, he tried to stand up to get back to training, ignoring your protests

- “I’m fine! Just leave me be-“ *dies*

- literally on the floor in agony

- chopper comes over and gives him some patches while you let him rest his head in your lap

- ok he’s not happy about his back hurting.. but- if it means he gets to rest his head on your thighs? He’d hurt his back again if needed

- the soft flesh that cushioned his head was absolutely perfect, so much so that he wrapped his bulky arms around your torso as if telling you not to leave

- you both stayed there for the rest of the day while Zoro took the best nap of his life in your lap 💜

a/n - help I threw my back out once and I’m not even in my twenties yet 🫠

[innershoesuitcasebiscuit]

Reading One Piece Party feels a little bit nostalgic for pre-timeskip humor of One Piece.

I really love Crocodile in One Piece Party. He's like 'I am a villain, but I need to fix these brats first'.

These actually reflect what he said in marine ford war. "If you wanna protect someone, do it right".

Law was kinda pitiful at the end though.

He hasn't even shown his pose and lines. Just ignore Killer though, yeah just like Zoro deleted his memory of Kokoro-san's mermaid form.

[luffysprincess]

𖤓 ᴏɴᴇ ᴘɪᴇᴄᴇ ᴀᴍɪʀᴀ 𖤓

˖ ⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

⟢ EPITHET: “pirate princess”

⟢ AGE: 17 (pre-timeskip), 19 (post timeskip)

⟢ DEVIL FRUIT: TBD

⟢ NOTABLE FEATURES: long black-blue hair, white headband, often wears white booties

⟢ MANNERISMS: flips hair into crew members faces, loves blowing kisses and throwing winks randomly, cracks knuckles and joints often

⟢ WEAPON OF CHOICE: war fans, daggers

⟢ SPECIAL SKILLS: making clothes, wielding war fans

⟢ GREATEST FLAW: is easily distracted by shiny things

⟢ ROLE AS A STRAW HAT: designing, making and fixing the crews clothes

⟢ BACKSTORY (TLDR BELOW):

Amira’s mother gave birth to her out of wedlock to a pirate whom she fell in love with. A pirate that would take months at a time to visit hit unexpected family and check that they are cared for. Everything was well and perfect until Amira’s 6th birthday. Her father couldn’t be home for this one, but that was alright. She knew he’d come some other day and shower her in gifts to make up for it.

The celebration was great with many of her friends in the small village they resided, but later that night, a man she had never met before showed up. Her grandfather. And from there, the night took a horrid turn. Although Amira’s memory of that night is blurry, she still remembers the way her grandfather attacked her mother for having a child out of wedlock and to a pirate on top of that. Her mother had been dragged out the house by her hair and little Amira was left cowering under her bed, a snot covered mess, in fear of what was going to happen to her and her mother.

She was safe for only a little while, her grandfather’s men pulling her out of her hiding place to bring her to him. Out of disgust the man used his knife to carve something into her forehead. A word she couldn’t even comprehend herself at the time but that didn’t matter. What mattered was the pain of the blade across her skin. And if this is what they did to her, then what had they done to her mother? That’s something she’d never get an answer to either, because shortly after, her grandfather ordered that she be tossed out to sea.

Luckily for her, some of his men had some heart. Enough to throw her onto a canoe and with a loaf of bread at least. And with even more luck, her boat was found 19 days later by the Red Hair Pirates who then brought her to Windmill Village. There, a proper doctor treated her, having pity on the child for the injuries she sustained. It was the doctor that explained to her that the word on her forhead meant something akin to a failure, a mistake.

It was covered by her bandages for quite some time, but when it came time to take them off she hesitated, hating the way the ugly scar looked and its meaning. So Makino, who stepped up to be her caretaker, offered up her headband to tie around Amira’s head. And since then it’s been a permanent accessory.

Windmill Village is where she met Luffy and so began their friendship. And when Luffy set out to sea to begin his journey to become the king of pirates, so did she in order to live out her dream: to become the world’s most renowned designer.

⟢ TLDR:

Young Amira got separated from her mother bc of her grandfather who, in disgust, carved the word “間違い” (meaning: mistake) into her forhead bc she was born out of wedlock. She’s tossed out to sea but saved and brought to Windmill village where she meets Luffy who lets her join him to achieve her dream. She now wears a headband to cover the scars.

⟢ THE DREAM:

Amira’s dream ties back to her mother who had been in the clothing industry. Ever since their separation, she’s wanted to find her mother again but with no idea where to start she hopes to instead make her mother find her. So she dreams of becoming a world famous designer and what better way to do that than to create the most authentic, rare and luxurious articles of clothing made from materials that have only been heard of in myth. She believes she can find the right material out in the Grand Line

Surely then her name will pop up in the news for her mother to see and they can reunite.

[crepes-suzette-373]

Is this an error or on purpose?? It's driving me insane!!!

(I'm just parsing through my own theory and doubts, you don't have to read this)

Ichiji's eyebrow that's under the bangs is the subject of fans' theories, and I wrote about it too, but I really just... sometimes have very strong doubts about it. With the insane time crunch of Shounen Jump schedule, what if it's really just a mistake that nobody caught?

One of my line of thinking was "this panel is so big, surely sensei can't possibly screw it up?" But the answer is, yes, he can screw up a panel that's that big.

When Venus blocked Zoro's attack, not only is he holding the sword in the wrong hand, but the sword is also missing its iconic Kitetsu cross-shaped guard. That Venus vs Zoro panel takes up half a page. On the manuscript paper, that would've been massive, and yet there it is.

As far as I can tell, this was not edited, changed, or fixed in the final volume version. So, I dunno, maybe all the weird eyebrows is literally nothing and he just messed up.

If I may use myself as an example, I have drawn their eyebrows facing wrong directions multiple times, and sometimes I never noticed there was anything wrong until days or even weeks later.

I not only drew the lines, but also rendered the colours in detail. I didn't do it all in one sitting. I went over the image multiple times with fresh eyes, across many days, and not for a single moment did I notice the eyebrow was wrong. It's not impossible that sensei experienced the same thing.

The anime scene cannot be used as reference because I don't think the anime staff are privy to any future lore or backstories from sensei. I would assume that they often had to fill in the gaps with educated guesses on their parts.

Pre-timeskip the anime have once displayed Sanji's other eyebrow facing the wrong direction and/or simply missing its curl.

Also in Whole Cake's finale episodes, the anime included a short filler bit where all of Sanji's bros made it safely back to the Germa ships. This is proven to be wrong when the cover story revealed Niji and Yonji got caught while still on land by Big Mum and didn't manage to escape.

The only way you can reconcile these is if you imagine a scenario where Niji and Yonji initially made it out just fine, but had to jump off the ship to fight Big Mum. Otherwise there's just a flat out discrepancy between manga and anime.

I don't think the Pirate Warriors 3D model rips are also any solid confirmation that Ichiji and Reiju's eyebrows are different either, because I found what is purportedly a model from the first game, where Sanji also has the eyebrows facing wrong directions:

(left: all siblings from Pirate Warriors 4, right: Sanji from Pirates Warriors 1)

In my guess, what happened was that they just made half a face (and body), which is then mirrored to create the other half. See below for what I mean:

In my opinion what happened was that with Ichiji and Reiju they just left the brows in mirrored state because they didn't know for sure. Look at Reiju's irises. The highlights are also mirrored. It really looks like they just created one half of the face and copy + flipped it:

The eyebrows are modelled onto the polygons and not just textures, so they really could've just copy + flipped the half model and never bothered changing it afterwards.

Or, if not, maybe they saw the anime scenes, thought that Ichiji and Reiju's eyebrows are facing different directions, and then followed suit. The Pirate Warriors models are made based on the anime rather than the manga (as you can see with Reiju's eyes being blue and not purple).

Whereas with Niji, Sanji, and Yonji they might have went through the trouble to edit the eyebrows to be more accurate to the series since they know for a fact what their brows look like.

So yeah, I don't know, this thing has no answer at all until Germa shows up in the series again (or revealed in Vivre Cards).

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

How are you going to do Lila? Will you make her into an interesting character, or will she be Roger Smith from American Dad?

I've got a couple of fix pitches for Lila under the "Lila Deserves Better" and "Lila Salt" tags, but my personal preference is to just not use Lila at all. I cannot stand her and the way she poisons everyone around her, making them all look terrible. To make Lila work, you need to fundamentally change her writing and the way everyone else interacts with her, basically make her an OC, and I just don't have any interest in doing that when I don't need her to make the story work.

Lila is the kind of character I'd only introduce if I was forced to setup a sequel or prolong the series past the Gabriel arc. If I had full creative control, then I wouldn't do that. The story would end with Gabriel's defeat because it's incredibly hard to top Gabriel as a villain. His motivation and ties to Adrien make him infinitely more interesting than any other villain could ever hope to be. A villain being bigger and badder just can't compete with the emotional gut punch of the villain being so closely tied to the heroes. No matter what powers you give them, they will always be a downgrade.

Even if they give Lila some wacky tie to the heroes, it's going to feel far less genuine and compelling. I'm fully expecting that tie to not exist or for it to be something bonkers like Lila being from the future. Either way, I'm not excited.

I could obviously use Lila as a petty mean girl, but I have Chloe for that. Even if I redeemed Chloe, I probably wouldn't bring Lila in to replace her because Chloe's redemption would be pretty drawn out. By the time it's ending, we'd be nearing Gabriel's defeat and it would be odd to bring Lila in then. The closer we get to the end, the less the civilian side should matter. You should be kicking off reveals and completely ruining any hope of petty school drama feeling worth discussing.

And if I couldn't draw out Chloe's redemption due to the show's format? Then I wouldn't redeem her because her redemption requires the type of format that lets you draw it out.

As a final note, I don't dislike the idea of the Miraculous team fighting someone other than Gabriel. I think you'd just need to do one of three things to make it work:

Have those fights come pre-Gabriel. Let the first few seasons be normal superhero nonsense, but the existence of the miraculous gets Gabriel searching for a way to save Emilie, leading him to find the butterfly. Maybe Lila starts with the butterfly and Gabriel gets it? Either way, he now becomes the final boss, so to speak

Let Adrien be a villain during the Gabriel arc and have the rest of the show be his redemption as the heroes fight a new threat. That maintains the emotional core that canon has lost while separating that core from the villain side of things.

Add a massive timeskip and have the show be about the heroes as older teens or adults. Removing us from Gabriel like that lets his loss feel less impactful while adding a new element of the audience wanting to see how everyone has changed over time. Still a lesser emotional core, but at least one exists.

[ot3]

STRAW HAT POST TIMESKIP DESIGNS RANKED WORST TO BEST

IN 9TH PLACE, THE WORST: ROBIN!

WHY ARE YOU WHITE!!! On top of that WHAT is this outfit. The structured seemingly leather or something navy blue crop top paired with a low-rise fringed sarong? And the low heels? What are you TALKING about. Ultimate downgrade from pre-timeskips coordinated cowboy hat ensembles. Unforgivable. Death Penalty.

In 8th place, Franky.

I love the huge round shoulders but I'm really not big on anything else. The color and shape of the forearms is a bit distracting in the overall design and the leg prosthetics are meh in terms of caracter design. I wish they hadn't peeled him, I feel like his goofy hair was really critical.

in 7th place, usopp

Congrats on king for getting ripped. Love the longer hair on him. The hat is NOT doing it for me nor is the fur trim on the pants. the shape of the paints is fun im just not sure whats happening with the detailing here

in 6th place, nami

Honestly really not that bad. The jeans with the berry belt buckle are cute, i just wish they werent low rise to show off the pussy bones I really hate low rise pants. I do think that wearing jeans and a bikini top Is an outfit nami would actually wear and if oda had a better track record with women and if her proportions werent so heinous i would be fine with it. the long hair is ok but it doesnt have nearly as much charm as her bob

in 5th, luffy

Unsure what's going on with the flare and ruffles on the top but. Yeah. Thats luffy alright.

in 4th place, sanji

as previously mentioned the shitty goatee is very him and as for everything else, if it aint broke dont fix it!

in 3rd place, chopper

i like this big goofy hat better than i liked his other hat and the colors here are fun. im glad he gets to wear a shirt now hes earned it.

in 2nd place, brook

well he's just thriving isnt he!!!!

and IN FIRST PLACE, WINNER OF THE STRAW HAT DRIP-OFF, GIVE IT UP FOR RORONOA ZORO !

everythign about this is working. impeccable fit. you know this motherfucekr doesnt have the slightest concerns about fashion and he still stunted on everyone else so easily. King.

[aachria]

do you have any one piece oc fic recs ?

I had to think about this. My tendency to never bookmark shit I love because I’m usually crying too hard by the end has stopped me from giving you the most 😔

Anyways here’s a few (all on AO3 btw)

Spin A Yarn

Absolutely wonderful series. Zolu time travel fix-it with quite literally all the feels. Completed

This Bites!

Always God Tier. Took me 32 glorious days to binge. Pre timeskip is completed, post timeskip is on hold until the authors know more abt the OP ending (I think?)

We Set Our Wishes Upon Her Waters

Super cool series with a super cool premise. As always I’m here for the Sea Lore™. Incomplete and hasn’t been updated for like a year :(.

Dive|rgence

Another isekai with my heart. HAS PLATONIC ROMANCE YEEAAAHHHH! Incomplete but updating. Bonus it has really long chapters.

Koby’s Awful No-Good Very Confusing Day

Kobylu and fucking hilarious. Bitches love time travel fix-it’s. By the lovely @okiedoketm here on Tumblr go bug her about how good it is. Updates regularly (like literally today).

Losing Time (You Can’t Go Home Again)

I’m a slut for Law angst always and this has unironically made me cry before. Incomplete.

Worse Than Nicotine

Zosan modern AU thing- it’s real fuckin good and makes me feel things. Incomplete and currently updating.

That’s a couple, keep yourself busy ✌️

[tmblrofshame]

*raises hand* i wanna hear your huntlow thoughts. elaborate

YES MY TIME HAS COME

to start off i need to clarify that most of these opinions are based on the understanding that if disney hadn’t cut season 3 we could have achieved enlightenment, but alas…

i think that with the time they had they did really good on developing the relationship! people who don’t get it or hate on it simply for being “rushed” are missing one key point: they don’t get into a relationship by the finale; we don’t know what the timeline of their relationship is so there’s no way for it to be too rushed!

(so i will be talking about them in the context of mutual crushes and not dating btw)

anyways moving on from the disclaimers and what not i think it’s one of my favorite relationships in the show, because it is not only cute, but i think it lets two characters who have been known to hold in emotions let them out and rely on each other. they are very much equals and work well together.

though i am someone who commonly has criticisms of shows for just pairing characters off for the sake of pairing them off and not growing the character, i only feel like that slightly about these two.

in willows case, i feel like she has had a lot of growth since the first season (haha plant pun) but obviously still has a way to go. she still struggles to express her emotions and feels the need to put up a facade of reliability. but hunter is someone she can rely on, and he makes that very clear!

hunter (despite the fandom-wide opinion) is not a baby. he’s strong and resilient despite his trauma and hardship. he obviously has issues but he is improving! him having a dorky little crush on willow makes sense, and gives him teenage experiences he missed out on in the emperors coven!

the thing i dislike about them is less the actual relationship the two of them have, and more the fanbases inability to separate the two now.

willow is a character who seems to never get love despite being an extremely well written deuteragonist who lifts up the other characters. she deserves appreciation on her own, not just because her and hunter are together in the timeskip!

and same with hunter, people need to stop portraying him as a character who just needs love to be fixed. pre-timeskip he definitely had to work on improving his mental health, and you just can’t write that down as “oh he and willow are in love so he’s better now”

i feel like the two of them commonly get made out to be this pairing of a broken male character and a nurturing female character when they’re not! they’re multifaceted, well written characters!

besides all the frustration with the mischaracterization, i think they’re cute and make sense together. whether you like them or not i think it makes sense for both of their development and they deserved more screen time fuck you disney.

EDIT BC I REMEMBERD SMTH: as someone who is aspec i feel like sometimes the aroace hunter headcanons can take away from his trauma and it comes off as “oh well he’s mentally ill so he can’t love someone” BUT MAYBE THATS JUST ME