#pran even has the time to look up at pat!!!

[airenyah]

3am and i'm thinking about the rooftop kiss

[fiddlepickdouglas]

Where do you watch your Thai BL dramas and do you recommend any to start with?

WOW how did I miss seeing this????

Oh boy this is gonna take a while for me to properly answer because you managed to ask, in so few words, a question that has a long answer! (Which I am all too delighted to give, HEHE)

This ended up being such a long post omg, here's a read more.

So starting with where: There's quite a few places. Streaming services with a prescription, YouTube, and even a few free sites where fans will typically upload content (depending on availability and access, these update latest if a show can be found at all).

Streaming platforms (featuring Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese, Korean, and Thai content):

iQiyi - Chinese owned, has a free option with ads and a subscription option. Also features bonus content on certain shows that subbed users can access if you're into that. Has a good balance of stuff that isn't LGBTQ+, lots of great Chinese wuxia - I'm honestly amazed they have as much queer shows as they do but I am not complaining because there's a lot of good ones there.

GagaOolala - Taiwanese owned, has a free option with ads and a subscription option. Stout LGBTQ+ collection. There's certainly other programming but it's thing is being more out and proud, so it's a win for me.

Viki - American owned, allows users to add/edit subtitles. I haven't used this one much, but I haven't needed to get a subscription so far with the shows I have sought to watch and haven't been bothered with ads either? Not sure how that works but I haven't needed to bother looking into it lol

Other sources I've used to watch other BLs are YouTube (there's so many, and they're for FREE), DramaCool, kisskh, and Bilbili.

In this next bit, I'll be summarizing different studios that produce Thai shows, including Thai BL specifically. I'll summarize the studio and then list recommendations for shows.

First up:

GMMTV - (most content on YouTube, some has been put on iQiyi and Gaga though) This is a popular one for Thai shows, and Thai BL especially. It's nicknamed the Disney of BL for a reason (pumps out a lot of new shows each year, huge roster of actors signed to them, very focused on branding and promotion, etc.). A lot of people's first Thai BLs are among their shows, since it was the company that produced the show that launched Thailand's BL industry onto the map. They can be hit or miss with the level of satisfaction, but overall there's plenty to choose from and much to recommend.

Shows I recommend from this company:

Bad Buddy

This is the first one I watched and it changed my fucking life. Pat and Pran are the perfect mix of next door neighbors who were raised to be rivals, but they can't help becoming friends, and eventually fall for each other. It does great subversion of a number of tropes and has a kissing scene that so memorable I bought a t-shirt that's worn in it. The acting is superb and it's both funny and devasting in a lot of good ways. There's a sapphic side couple who are incredibly cute as well!

Be My Favorite

Pisaeng and Kawi, two guys who can't seem to accept their feelings, each live out multiple time lines where they can't help but be drawn together when Kawi is given a time traveling device. This show ponders the affects of one's actions and how living your truth can make or break the happiness you seek in life. This show was unprecedented in how good it was, especially since the leads were an unusual pairing. I love them I love them I love them.

SOTUS

This is the one that kick-started everything back in 2016 for Thai BL. It follows a group of college freshman who are subject to ritual hazing by their seniors, and one student worms his way into the heart of the senior leader. This show set out to censor fags (cigarettes) and not fags (gays). There's so much cultural significance that it's difficult to describe. It sets the tone for a number of BLs to follow.

Not Me

Do you like gays? Do you like social activism? Do you like batshit plots that put you on your fuckin knees for the whole ride? Have we got a show for you. I don't know how to summarize this one without immediately feeling insane, I love this show with all my goddamn heart. Twins Black and White get separated because they have a connection where they can feel the same things when they're close, and it has proven dangerous. Black gets put in a coma and White takes on his identity and joins an anarchist gang to find who hurt his brother. Not everything is what he thinks, though. Also this show inspired my first tattoo because Yok is my favorite boy forever and ever amen.

The Warp Effect

Alright, it's not a BL, technically, but my GOD is it queer. Don't believe me? Here's a list that I made of not even all the reasons why this show is so queer. It addresses so much about sex ed, relationships, consent, kink, body shaming, and even features a non-binary character. A boy, who made a promise to his late mother to save his virginity until marriage, breaks the promise and wakes up in the future. He has to help old friends and acquaintances resolve things that happened on that fated night if he hopes to return to his youth.

3 Will Be Free

Also technically not a BL, but it is poly!! A sex worker, a club host, and the son of a mafia boss end up on the run together after being involved with the wrong people and being in the wrong place...and killing a guy. By the same director of The Warp Effect, so you're guaranteed a similar flavor of thorough queerness.

More shows by the company that I recommend: A Tale of 1000 Stars, Moonlight Chicken, Enchanté, Vice Versa, The Eclipse, My School President, Wandee Goodday, Only Friends, Midnight Musem, The Gifted (those last two aren't BLs but the vibes are there).

Next up!

Idol Factory - (YouTube channel for watching) Founded by actor Saint Suppapong with the purpose of creating a studio that harbors a safer and more positive experience for people in the industry. Well known for producing one of the first and most popular GLs or girls love shows.

Shows I recommend from this company:

GAP The Series

Sam has been Mon's idol since she was little and now she's secured a job working at her company! She's so excited! Until she realizes that Sam is...kind of heartless. Her unwillingness to let her boss walk all over her does more than win over a good professional relationship. It's got all the drama of class divide and arranged marriage along with it, so it's a fun ride and makes for an iconic entry for lesbian cinema.

The Sign

Phaya and Tharn aren't just reincarnated lovers, they weren't even human before! The story follows a curse that's followed them since they first met as naga and garuda, both powerful legendary creatures who have fought each other for ages. In the present, they train as police officers and end up working together in a case related to Tharn's tragic past.

The Loyal Pin

This one actually hasn't started airing yet (August 4th!!!!) but it's about a lady and a princess who grew up together. From the looks of things, it's gonna have drama and angst up the wazoo so I'm looking forward to it.

More shows by the company that I recommend: Secret Crush On You (I haven't personally seen this one but it's been on my list and highly recommended)

Next up!

Domundi - (uncensored versions on iQiyi, cut versions on YouTube) It's more of a "content creator" company, so it includes musicians as well as actors, so there's not many shows under their wing. But they are good with high heat (more explicit) BL stories. One currently airing, Battle of the Writers, includes Chinese wuxia elements which is incredibly interesting and kinda ballsy (there's suspected attempts to lower viewership for censorship reasons). I highly recommend watching it just for the sake of elevating it, there's a cut version on YouTube.

Shows I recommend from this company:

Bed Friend

Poor Uea is traumatized to hell and back; it's like the world is out to get him. He and his coworker King decide after a one night stand to be exclusive fuck buddies, and ngl it's HOT. We get catboy kinks in this one! Their connection deepens and they have to figure out what they both want from each other. Also all the shitheads get owned, it's really nice to watch. It inspired a Jennette McCurdy meme from me.

Middleman's Love

This is the story of Uea's best friend Jade, who sees how happy his friend is in his new relationship, and takes his turn being Emma Woodhouse. Well....it doesn't go to plan. He keeps pushing Mai toward someone else and doesn't realize that Mai likes him. This one starts incredibly goofy (I put that as a warning), and then gets steamy later on.

Battle of the Writers

This one just started airing! Ob-un is accused of plagiarizing fellow author Chan, and after things have been cleared they end up on a writing team together. The wuxia characters here are characters from their novel. It seems their relationship will parallel certain aspects of the story.

Next company!

Wabi Sabi - (YouTube channel for shows) They've recently lost a whole bunch of actors (several to GMMTV no less) due to terminating artist management, so I'm not sure what the future looks like, but they've released several shows that are considered BL staples.

Recommended:

Until We Meet Again

Dean and Pharm are reincarnated lovers who previously had a tragic end. This one is heavy on the emotions, the first 10 minutes took my fucking knees out. Has lot of themes of intergenerational trauma and how important having supportive parents can be. Pharm is so cute, I need to squish him!

Between Us

It starts around the same time as Until We Meet Again, but from the perspective of Team and Win. They have their own angst issues and family traumas that make them messy, and there's a lot more development of the side characters that were featured in the first series as well. I especially enjoy the sideplot for gamers Waan andTul, lol, I wish they could get their own series too! I do recommend watching UMWA first if you don't want to be confused about a few scenes in this one.

Final company, let's go!

Change 2421 - The company that made the omegaverse alpha-alpha car racing BL. That one. Need I say more?

Recommended:

Pit Babe

Mx. omegaverse alpha-alpha car racing BL themself. Babe is a star racecar driver with special abilities. He's charmed when he meets Charlie, but things begin to change for him faster than he can recognize. The home he ran away from tries to force him back as he attempts to reveal its worst secrets.

This Love Has No Long Beans

This is currently airing! Oab is your chef from Kitchen Nightmares that judges harshly with a tough exterior but genuinely has a good heart. Having lost his passion for cooking, he decides to set up a contest to find a successor to take over his restaurant. Plawan chooses to enter this contest despite having no skills and already having gotten on Oab's bad side. Things get heated when Plawan's determination to make it through the competition ignites the passion for cooking again.

There's plenty more companies, but these are the ones I am most familiar with. But there's still more!

Shows I recommend that aren't from the companies listed above:

Kinnporsche

The mafia BL that took over. I have so much brain rot about this one that it's hard to summarize without going crazy. Porsche and his brother have been struggling to keep their beloved family home, so he takes an offer he can't refuse - working as a mafia bodyguard. Kinn, the current mafia head, is undeniably attracted to him and it ends up making them inseparable in more ways than one. I especially enjoy the side couples, VegasPete and KimChay (there is ENDLESS insanity from all possible pairings tbh).

Love in the Air

It's kinda split into two stories, Payu (or Phayu, honestly the spelling gets switched a lot and even I don't stick to one thing) and Rain, and Prapai and Sky. PayuRain are the most couple ever, that's just the best way I can put it. The actors have incredible chemistry and set a fucking standard for making out. Sky and Prapai will make you cry. They handle some pretty intense material and do an incredible job with it. Also bisexuals with motorcycles and light mafia action.

I Told Sunset About You/I Promised You The Moon

Not only an iconic BL series that strives for telling an incredibly realistic story (no goofy sound effects or gags here), but the cinematography is absolutely gorgeous. Also the messiest bisexual awakening known to man. Oh my god. So much crying. Sooooo much angst. It's okay if you throw shit over this one, it's worth it, I promise. Tee and Oh go through pretty much everything that could make weaker couples hate the other person and that's what makes them top tier.

Ingredients

This whole series is a grocery store commercial? Ignore that, these roommates have the most adorable development. I binged this and was crying at 2am. Tops is an aspiring chef and Win is his himbo roommate who is trying to make it as a musician. As they each work toward their dreams, they become important aspects of each other's lives. Also, if you don't come out of this obsessed with Jeff Satur (or anything else he does), I will question your taste. Pun intended.

Old Fashion Cupcake

Japanese BL? Older queers? Office romance? Age gap? A confession scene that meets Jane Austen level standards of desperation? Togawa and Nozue are something else man. They make it a game to pretend to do what young women do as an "anti-aging" technique, but really it's Togawa's scheme to hopefully catch the eye of his boss. Incredible, no notes except maybe I'd like to have a Thai remake? Please?

And last but absolutely not least...

Semantic Error

A fantastic Korean BL. Rivals to lovers and 10000% ADHD4autism. Jang Jaeyoung is prevented from graduating by Chu Sangwoo and makes it his personal mission to get under his skin. And well....it works lol. They're both the most characters, I adore them and their chaotic stumbles into romance. Bonus Choi Yoona bisexual goddess side character, we love her.

Kiseki: Dear To Me

Taiwanese BL that's also split somewhat split between two stories. Zong Yi takes in a wounded Zhe Rui. The student realizes he's keeping a gangster in his dorm and tries to ignore his charms but ends up being drawn into his world. Meanwhile, Ai Di and Chen Yi, other members of the gang, deal with the consequences of Zhe Rui's disappearance.

Well. That was a whole lot. I hope this isn't too overwhelming for you! I've only been in the BL fandom for a couple years so this is barely scratching the surface as far as what's out there.

[lurkingshan]

I’m thinking a lot about the scene between Pran and Tian where they discuss the fight Tian and Phupha are having. Not the fake one about who liked who first, but the real one about Phupha refusing to travel home with Tian or change anything about his life to meet Tian’s needs. It’s a funhouse mirror image of the conflict Pat and Pran are having about how much Pran should let Pat help him, and their long-term dynamic of Pat letting Pran win every disagreement and always being the one to compromise or give in when their needs are in tension.

What I love about it is that Tian doesn’t know anything about their relationship, he’s just (drunkenly) talking about his own experience, and how frustrating and exhausting it is to be with someone like Phupha who never meets him halfway. And Pran is sitting across from this guy who looks like his twin, whose story he has already memorized and connected to, who he now thinks of as a sort-of friend, and he is self-aware enough to see the parallels instantly, and to feel a little embarrassed and ashamed that he is essentially the Phupha in his relationship. And you see him react, just a little, and maybe start to think for the first time about what it must feel like for Pat to yield to him on everything, and never have that reciprocated by Pran.

Reading this wonderful post from @waitmyturtles earlier where she mentioned how she empathizes with Pran, I was also reflecting a bit about where I see myself in this story, and let me tell you, I am such a Phupha. When it comes to how I want to live my life, where I want to be, and how I want to spend my time and with whom, I am uncompromising to a fault. I completely get where Phupha is coming from - I told you who I am, and now you’re telling me it’s not enough. He is frustrated by the idea that he has to change himself for Tian, and I get that, I really do. It’s something I am personally not willing to do. The key difference between me and Phupha, however, is that I am not in love and I do not desire to be in a romantic partnership. He very much is, and very much does.

So what might a guy like Phupha think, as he is struggling so much with the idea of yielding to Tian, when he is met with someone like Pat? Someone who is so like him in some ways - in his strength, his masculinity, his physicality, his confidence, his loyalty, his desire to help others - and yet so unlike him in other ways - his emotional openness, his vulnerability, his comfort with compromise, his absolute willingness to put his pride aside for his lover. Where Phupha is rigid, Pat is versatile, in every sense of the word. There is a lot Phupha might learn from talking to someone like Pat about how he sees his relationship, why he is always willing to bend to Pran’s needs, and why he ultimately feels it’s worth it, even if he sometimes feels some of the frustration that Tian does. Might Phupha have his own epiphany next week, opening up a path for him to finally compromise on something important to Tian?  

@dribs-and-drabbles, I’m not sure how this might fit into your theory about the patterns playing out in these episodes, but I really hope we get to see this happen next week, and watch both of these couples learn from each other’s experiences and find a way to meet their partners in the middle. Because as @waitmyturtles said, this is the work of being in a long term relationship.

In the server with @bengiyo @shortpplfedup @kyr-kun-chan @wen-kexing-apologist we talk often about how amazing it is when romances address what happens to couples after they get together, and how exciting it is that we are starting to see more bl shows about the work of staying together, and I’m so glad that the genius minds behind Bad Buddy and A Tale of Thousand Stars took the opportunity of this special to dig into that so authentically. And to have done it in such a brilliant way, by mixing and matching these characters from beloved shows, putting them side by side and demonstrating how they are similar and also how they can learn from each other, creating a sense of community in this shared universe, and making it all so damn fun along the way, is just an unbelievable treat for us as an audience. Can't wait to see how it all comes together next week.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Validation- In Which Lurking Turtles Try to Spare Me From Writing a Post by Essentially Plucking My Thoughts Right Out of My Head.

In her incredible post about community, @waitmyturtles posed (and answered) the question:

“Could the ATOTS story have held up WITHOUT Pat and Pran?” 

I argue, no, because looking back on the last four episodes, the resolution of that four part story was never supposed to be about Pat and Pran, it was supposed to be about Phupa and Tian. In my opinion, the last four Our Skyy 2 episodes are made for Phupa and Tian. 

Hell, it’s not even about Tian to me, this whole story is an arc for Phupa specifically. 

I argue, Pat and Pran serve as the vessel by which Phupa is forced to confront his internalized homophobia and must decide whether or not to try to move past it. 

This is a bold statement, so let me say right now that I watched ATOTS and Bad Buddy around the same time, and while I deeply enjoyed ATOTS I loved Bad Buddy and initially I found Phupa and Tian to be a rather boring, uncomplicated couple that obviously liked each other and refused to do anything about it, despite me not really seeing any obstacles for them getting together. 

But because of now being familiar with Earth’s acting and because of Episode 3, I started to pay more attention to Phupa, made that internalized homophobia observation, and then managed, over the course of the four hours it took me to write that post to go from “You’re boring” to “lmao that’s my fucking guy” in regards to how I looked at Phupa. 

And, not to toot my own horn, but I am feeling extremely validated in my read on Phupa and internalized homophobia in yesterday’s post after seeing the final episode of Our Skyy 2 x ATOTS.

@lurkingshan has already shared a lot of her thoughts (which honestly reflect a lot of my own) in regards to how Phupa has learned a lot from his interactions with Pat. @waitmyturtles has shared a lot of her thoughts (which honestly reflect a lot of my own) about how Aof’s stories so often center around queer Asian community. And tumblr has shared in abundance all the happy, lovey-dovey, moments between Pat and Pran and Phupa and Tian. 

So I am not going to start there. I am going to start with the supporting evidence of Phupa’s internalized homophobia from Our Skyy 2’s final episode. 

The first, when Phupa and Tian are getting dessert and Tian tries to feed him. He looks around anxiously and reminds Tian that they are in public.

Gifs from @ayan-sukkhapisit

Second, when Phupa and Tian are clothes shopping and Tian leans in to Phupa and says suggestively “You’re so handsome. You got a boyfriend?”

Even when Tian mentions the size of the crowd at the play, Phupa once again looks around anxiously, the weight of the realization that this many people are about to hear the story of his queerness hitting him. 

Each of these moments is a point where Phupa’s internalized homophobia is flaring up, but, (and this is crucial) HE PUSHES THROUGH IT. 

And that is thanks to Pat and Pran, but especially Pat. 

Now (and hear me out here) Pran is fully responsible for getting Phupa to sign the consent form to put on the play. Pran’s moment of brutal honesty where he called out Phupa’s insecurities and confirmed they were also his own, is what led Phupa to realize that these chaotic, loud, and meddling children had a lot more going on than he first thought, and is what led to him confidently making the statement “No one gets us better than these two.” 

Pran’s acknowledgement of his own insecurities in his relationship with Pat is enough for Phupa to understand that Pran is desperate to tell this story, his story for a reason. 

But Pat? Pat’s continuous, unabashed, unrelenting, and obvious love for his boyfriend and then his continuous, unabashed, unrelenting, and obvious crush on/harassment of Phupa pushes Phupa out of his comfort zone. Pat and Tian may be the people who make the sacrifices in their relationships, but Pat is not Tian. Pat is willing to make sacrifices for Pran, Pat is willing to hide his queer desire for Pran. But Phupa is not Pran. So Phupa is Not Safe. Where Tian is patient and where Tian also tries to minimize/tone down his own feelings when he and Phupa are together in public, Pat sees Phupa, goes “oh that man is hot and repressed and I’m about to make myself his problem,” and then he puts his foot on the gas and does donuts in the parking lot. 

At no point in their solo time together does Pat ever let up on Phupa. Thus, Phupa is forced to reconcile with his internalized homophobia, because he is both safe to do so by being in the woods without the rest of the village, and because Pat never stops reminding him that he is queer. Phupa sees how much Pat loves Pran and sees the way Pat and Pran interact with each other, touching knees, running in to each other’s arms, feeding each other, etc. and hears the insecurities Pran has in his relationship with Pat, and how much they mirror his own, and he realizes that he can feel insecure and still have a happy, loving relationship because he has spent hours upon hours of time listening to Pat brag about his boyfriend. The surface fight of who fell in love first is resolved by way of Phupa understanding that Tian can make all these sacrifices and still be madly in love with him. Phupa needed Tian to have fallen in love first so that he can be certain that he didn’t trap Tian here. Tian needed Phupa to have fallen in love first so that he can have security in a relationship where Phupa cannot overcome his insecurities (class, queerness, etc.) to be openly in love with Tian around others. 

SO!

The resolution comes when Phupa decides that it is time for him to stop hiding

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

He pushes past his initial discomfort about the level of open affection he is receiving, but eventually relents to Pat’s flirtations and gives him a smile. It is as good as an admission for Pat that Phupa will, in fact, miss him and did, in fact, enjoy their time together. 

He openly admires his Tian at the waterfall, he asks to be played with. 

He corrects the narrative, and finally does what we all thought he would do, and “steals” the kiss he wanted to steal all those years ago

Gif by @liyazaki

He fucks his boyfriend

Gif by @liyazaki

He woos his boyfriend by rolling up to Bangkok in a car that is almost certainly out of his price range looking hot as hell.

He takes photos of Tian “the food”

Gif from @boyslovesource

And where we saw a momentary flare up of his internalized homophobia in the cafe, because that mentality is not something that is broken in a night, he powers through and allows himself to be fed. 

And at the clothing store too, he initially bristles at Tian’s flirtation but very quickly reciprocates it

He signs the contract. He actively and intentionally allows Pran and Pat to tell his story, to celebrate his queerness. 

And he comes to see the play. To see the story of he and Tian’s love. The story that until only recently he refused to even finish. And while Tian is surprised that Pat and Pran are playing them, Phupa is not. Partially because he put the stipulations on it, but also because Pat and Pran have chosen to portray the unexpected, but absolutely personality accurate character. Pat is an unexpected Tian if you go off of looks, but Pat serves the role that Tian does in his relationship and therefore is absolutely the perfect choice to play Tian. 

(Honestly, thinking about it more, that choice may have also contributed to Phupa’s comment that no one gets them better than those two. Because he sees them acknowledge their own roles in their own relationship based on who they chose to portray.) 

Now, something that I also picked up on, but that @chickenstrangers mentions as well is the following: 

“We got to see Phupha and Tian's reactions to the play highlighted, seeing that they appreciated the portrayal. We also saw Ink and Pa's reactions, how moved they were by the play and Pat and Pran being able to portray it; how the story was received by other queer people. These special episodes are exploring the tension between needing to hide and wanting to be seen and open, and in the play, both Phupha and Tian, and Pat and Pran got to open a little bit about themselves to others. Even though it is Tian and Phupha's story on stage, Pat and Pran are telling their own as well.”

And it struck me, as I was going back through the episode to pull screen shots that Ink and Pa also watch the mosquito net scene and ask “why does he have to poke his face so close to him?”

Which indicates to me that Ink and Pa are also expecting a kiss from Phupa and Tian and, not getting one, they wonder why he’s gonna get this close only to not do anything. 

Which strikes me as yet another example of the young queer couple not understanding where intimacy can be a struggle for older queers. 

Secondarily, Phupa requesting that Pat and Pran portray Phupa and Tian does, in fact, set them up to be openly in love and to have plausible deniability. Phupa doesn’t know that they are going to kiss, and in fact, they were not supposed to. But they do. They get to be open they way the want to be open, the way they wish they could be open. And they get to do it by being vessels for Phupa and Tian’s story.

I actually don’t have much to say here in terms of analysis, but dammit if I’m not emo about the Circle of Queers. Look at all them, standing around, being in community with one another. Happy Pride everyone!

AND THEN PHUPA COMES TO FUCKING DINNER!!!! 

He lets Tian spend money on him, he finally does the one thing Tian has hoped for all these years, and celebrates his birthday. Comes as his partner, interacts with Tian’s parents.

And is rewarded for it by learning that he had nothing to fear. Tian’s parents are impressed with Phupa’s dedication, the filial nature of his service, the choice he made to move to PPD because his father loved it. 

And far more important, Tian’s parents entrust Tian into Phupa’s care. 

And, if you want to get in to outdated concepts of queerness, masculinity, husband/wife whatever, then it is also important to acknowledge that Phupa ends the episode getting fucked by his fiance

Gif from @gunsatthaphan

And he engages in sex with his partner while his coworker and friend is right outside the door, fully aware of what they are doing. Now, we know from ATOTS that this is not the first time that Yod has heard them having sex. But crucially, in ATOTS, Phupa was not aware that Yod was outside the door. 

Now, I know what you are thinking, readers “W-K-A, why did you skip over the most important part of Phupa’s self acceptance journey?” 

IT’S BECAUSE I’M SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST OKAY??????? Hush.  

The culminating event of this episode, and of the entire four episode arc, is Phupa’s proposal to Tian. 

Gifs by @liyazaki

Tian’s part of the fight came from fearing that Phupa wasn’t going to fully committed to him. The constant refusal to go to his birthday, one of the few times a year that Tian sees the rest of his family, serves to make Tian feel like Phupa doesn’t consider himself to be Tian’s family. 

Now, back to my argument that this ATOTS story couldn’t have happened without Pat and Pran is that I am not entirely certain that Phupa and Tian were completely aware of what the underlying problem was. And if they were, they certainly weren’t going to talk about it. Tian may still have trudged up the mountain to find Torfun’s diary, and he might still have gotten lost, and Phupa might still have had to rescue him, but Phupa needed to see how a relationship dynamic like his was capable of working. 

Back to Phupa’s internalized homophobia, putting a ring on Tian’s finger is both a confirmation to Tian that Phupa is fully and completely committed to him but also a PHYSICAL. VISUAL. INDICATOR OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. 

There is no benefit of the doubt, there is no plausible deniability. No matter where Phupa and Tian go, if they go together the world will know they are a couple. Phupa cannot hide from his queerness walking next to Tian with that ring on Tian’s finger.

Gif from @thebvbbletea

I know there are many people that wanted more of a stout resolution for Pat and Pran in these episodes. But that wasn’t the point Aof was making. Pat and Pran’s storyline in these episodes feels unresolved because Pat and Pran’s resolution doesn’t come until Episode 12. I understand that these analysis may have gotten me too focused on Phupa, but I don’t know. I can’t shake the feeling that this four part crossover was about Phupa. Pat doesn’t change much, Pran doesn’t change much, because we watched Bad Buddy. Because we have already seen the changes they have made to be with each other. Because there is never going to be balance in Pat and Pran’s relationship as long as Dissaya remains the way she currently is. (I’m taking this from a conversation I had with @shortpplfedup, @bengyio, @waitmyturtles, @lurkingshan, and @ginnymoonbeam). Tian doesn’t change much because he was always the one compromising, because he is committed to Phupa. It is Phupa who goes through the most significant changes. 

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with their relationship being on display in the form of diaries

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with those diaries showing him being in love with Tian. 

It is Phupa who has to get comfortable with Pat’s explicit queerness. 

It is Phupa who had to get comfortable with public displays of affection. 

PPD is a village removed from most things, there is a vibrant and loving community there. But it means they are removed from overarching society. Phupa needs to see the younger generation of queers being comfortable and confident in their sexuality. Phupa needs to see the younger generation being comfortable and confident in their love. Phupa needs to see that the younger generation isn’t worried about people knowing they are queer, he needs to see them be explicit in their love for each other. No code words, no euphemisms, just a boy and his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s scent. And I think that in order for Phupa to resolve his internalized homophobia, he needed to meet Pat and Pran. I think interacting with Pran made him view Pat and Pran’s relationship as an adult one, granting it infinitely more respect and credibility in his eyes, and interacting with Pat made him realize that it is much safer now to be gay that it once was. 

Anyway, I’m going to go cry about “We finally have a thousand stars now” for the rest of forever now, thank you.

[shortpplfedup]

Horrite time to get cancelled...

I loved Our Skyy x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars from start to finish. Yes, even the third episode. In fact, especially the third episode. And that's because Aof may have a flair for the dramatic, and he and his room might sometimes write themselves a little bit into a corner, but it's always in service of a point that he feels compelled to make. Aof doesn't go in for 'right' he goes in for 'real' and it can be hard to accept sometimes the ideas he treats with optimism vs the ones he treats with realism. Aof is very deliberate and specific in the stories he wants to tell, and they're not always satisfying. And nowhere has he leaned into that dissatisfaction more than in Bad Buddy. Pat and Pran are caught in a frustrating situation, and Aof has consistently refused to shy away from that for the sake of a traditional happy ending. Aof's major thesis with these two has always been 'love, despite everything'.

The big 'everything' in the Bad Buddy story refers to the parents, but things with the parents have offshoots and consequences for how Pat and Pran's relationship functions, both in the macro sense, in the continued need to hide, and in the micro sense, in the fact that really, truly, only one of them is hiding. Because Pat? Does not give a shit about Ming. Like TRULY. We see here that Ming is not one of his considerations, and even when asked to consider him, the distance that has grown in their relationship is such that where Ming previously was all up in Pat's business, now he doesn't even look because he doesn't want to know. In a way, Ming has accepted Pat and Pran's relationship by resolutely looking away from them. He has lost face entirely and the only solution to that is to pretend it isn't happening, which suits Pat just fine.

Dissaya though...well that's different isn't it. They are really in this closet, Pat is really in this closet for the sake of Pran's relationship with his mother. Pat and Pran's relationship is inherently unbalanced, because the compromise that Pat has made, the sacrifice he has made, is something Pran can never really make up to him. As I said to the clowns: Pran could give in to Pat every day, on everything, for the rest of their lives, and those scales would still never balance out. All Pran can do is accept Pat's sacrifice for the love it is, and love Pat back as hard as he can and hope they never regret it. And so, are they really going to fight about this? Is this really going to be an issue for them? Well...no. Are they going to get into their feelings about it from time to time? Absolutely. And then they're gonna fuck their way through that, because they're them, and they decided when they got into this that it was going to be for life, and there's really nothing else to be done in this situation but get over it.

Also I consider that this particular spat that Pat and Pran are having is only notionally about their relationship, but largely about Pran coming to a resolution about how large he wants to let Dissaya loom in his life, and thus will only scratch the surface because it's the beginning of a story we won't really see that ends up with Pran in Singapore. Pran is deeply contemplating Pat's oddly piercing words about his ability to stand on his own. Because one of the reasons that Pat has to make this compromise and stay in the closet is that Pran depends, in so many ways, on his mom. Dissaya is at the centre of his life. And I think this trip, and this fight, gets Pran to start the process of moving Pat into that spot instead. In the fourth episode, him saying that Dissaya is ok with the play because she knows it's just a play... I highly doubt that, but really, what is she going to do about it at this point? What can she do? Pran's too grown to send him away, and she knows what happened last time she tried to intervene, she nearly lost her kid. She'll tell herself what she needs to, and Pran will continue to shift the balance of his priorities from her needs to Pat's. It's that thing about leaving your parents and cleaving to your partner. If Pran can get to a place where he is independent, then he can give Pat back the openness that makes him happy, and maybe that can finally bring some balance. But we know that day is far off for them, beyond even what we've seen. All Pran can give Pat now is the promise that 'I can't live without you either'.

When it comes to these two, Aof is never going to give us the ease in the heart that we crave, because they don't have that ease either. Instead, we will get snatched moments, because that's what they get. We will get uncomfortable compromises, because that's what they get. We will get occasionally hurt feelings, because that's what they get. And we will get love, despite everything, because that's what they do. Yes it's unsatisfying. But I'd argue it's meant to be. The thing is here again: are you here for a ship or a story? And if you're here for a story, are you prepared for it to be an inherently sad and frustrating one, but that still has joy threaded throughout?

Man that leads me to so many thoughts about why juxtaposing this story with Tian and Phupha's works gangbusters, but I think that's a separate post.

[chickenstrangers]

Bad Buddy, Tragedy, and Queer Futures

I want to take a closer look at Kwan & Riam and Romeo & Juliet, and the intertextual methods Bad Buddy employs with those narratives. Bad Buddy is an extremely self-aware show and comments on and subverts tropes and expectations of the genres it employs, putting itself in conversation with other BLs, but also romantic comedies and romantic tragedies more broadly. @shortpplfedup has done a much better job than I could do in her excellent Romeo and Juliet analysis series (which was very helpful in getting my thoughts in order), so instead I want to focus on how Bad Buddy plays with the idea of tragedy and explore it through a queer theoretical framework.

Bad Buddy straddles the line between comedy and tragedy. While, as a romance, the audience is primed to expect it will end happily, there is a thrum of tension behind all the jokes and banter. Specifically in the first half of the show, which feels the most rom-com like to me, there's sadness underlying Pat and Pran's interactions. Every time Pat makes a flirty joke, there's a spark of hope in Pran's eyes that he quickly pushes away, knowing or thinking that Pat doesn't feel the same way. It feels like the characters are on a knife's edge, and every little misstep cuts deeply.

The smiley face is an external representation of Pran's feeling (for example, he switches its direction on his door depending on his mood) but it also signifies a choice. He chooses to surround himself with icons of happiness and he chooses to turn the frowny face into a smiley face. People often don't have that much control over the big external things in their lives, but the important thing is adapting and making choices within their circumstances. The idea of choosing happiness is at the core of Bad Buddy.

Pran knows that this will probably not end happily for him. That even if his feelings are reciprocated it might not work. In some ways, his reactions can be read as genre-awareness, part of all the little signs that the show is putting out that this is not your typical rom-com, that it might not have the happy ending that the audience expects. He may not necessarily know that he is in a story, but he anticipates its trajectory. But then Pat comes in and breaks through these genre walls. He's in a rom-com! He's got all the tropes! He falls second but he falls hard and he doesn't have the years and years that Pran has had to build it up in his head.

This is exemplified so beautifully in the rooftop scene and the aftermath of the kiss. For Pat, this feels like the culmination of the story. All good rom-coms end with a kiss. After they kiss, Pat has such a blissful expression on his face, it's pure happiness and belief that things are working out all right in the end. But this isn't the end and Pran knows this. When Pat sees Pran's devastated face, he starts to realize this too.

The post-kiss episodes have a different tone, especially once Pat and Pran actually get together in episode 7. They feel a lot lighter now that Pat and Pran know how each other feel. There's a sense of domestic happiness once they're dating. But the buzzing of potential tragedy and heartbreak doesn't come from Pat and Pran anymore, but from nebulous external forces. This is also when the show starts to signal more and more explicitly that it is a tragedy.

The clearest case for this is the introduction of the school play. The inclusion of Kwan and Riam led to a lot of speculation that Bad Buddy might not get a happy ending, along with P'Aof's comments that they had taken liberties with the source material. Kwam and Riam's story is from the 1936 book Plae Kao or The Scar. The 1977 film adaptation was Thailand's highest grossing film up to that time and it's legacy continues, with two other adaptations in the twenty-first century (for more information and links, see @fiercynn's very helpful post). It tells the story of two star-crossed lovers whose families separate them, and it ultimately ends with both their deaths. Kwan is killed by Riam's brother, and Riam takes Kwan's knife and stabs herself to die alongside him.

Bad Buddy explicitly emulates Kwan and Riam's story. Pat and Pran's story is essentially the BL retelling of the story that the architecture faculty is producing. With the Kwan and Riam narrative shedding new light, we now see that Dissaya sending Pran to a different school mirrors Riam's father sending her away (though it is much darker in the original). Bad Buddy also has direct references to Romeo and Juliet, especially with the balcony scenes and the intense longstanding familial rivalry.

From this point on, Bad Buddy toes the line between whether it will end happily or tragically. But, crucially, the successive near-misses all hint towards the show's final message of queer futurity and queer possibility.

The first act of near disaster comes at the end of episode 8 when Wai pulls back the curtain on Pat and Pran on stage. The fact that this takes place on the set of the play puts it into direct parallel with Plae Kao. Kwan and Riam's story gets transposed onto Pat and Pran's story. They become the actors playing out the story in real life. After this point, we don't see much more about the play at all, other than the curtain call of the performance, we don't see Pat acting as Riam on stage, but we do see them playing out this narrative in real life.

This is the first real test to their dating relationship, but they do not break up. Their friends turn on them, especially Wai, who won't even talk to Pran. Pat suggests they pretend to break up and continue dating in secret (foreshadowing), but that is ultimately unnecessary. Pat's friends only put on a show of abandoning Pat, and Korn quickly reveals he still fully supports his friend. This is the first of a series of misdirects.

The next crisis seems completely anticlimactic, but maybe that's the point. In episode 9, Pat gets shot. It comes seemingly out of nowhere, and then is quickly resolved. We once again have a fake out: the audience is misled to think this is a dramatic event with the way the hospital scene is shot, and Pran is misled by Pat's friends, who play up how hurt Pat is. But Pat is complete fine, the bullet just grazed him. This incident feels very out of place in the narrative of Bad Buddy. Yes, it is an important step in reconciling Pran and Wai, but couldn't this have happened some other way, that didn't involve a random guy who we'd never seen before and a level of violence that the show hadn't prepared the audience to expect?

But what if this was a deliberate allusion to Kwan and Riam/Romeo and Juliet? Here we get the physical injury from those stories' conclusions, Kwan's fatal shooting. Except...its not a big deal. With this scene we get further hints that something else bad might be coming, but we get another sign of tragedy being forestalled. This is further emphasized by the following confrontation with Pat's dad, who is unhappy to see Pran at the hospital, but in the end shows grudging respect for Pran getting Pat's name cleared. Disaster averted.

Then we come to the true brink of tragedy: episode 10 and 11. Pat and Pran find out the real reason their families hate each other, the reason why they are meant to hate each other. At this point they both know that they're not going to be able to stay together and have their families' approval. Running away to the beach feels like a delay of the inevitable. On the beach, they are in a liminal state, a state of paralysis. They have their "honeymoon" but both know there's no happy wedded life to follow.

This calls back to the moment of death in Plae Kao, when Kwan flees into the water after being shot and Riam follows after him, taking his knife from him and stabbing herself while they're both underwater. The waves obscure their death in the film, suspending them in the moment of transition between life and death. This liminality carries over onto Pat and Pran's retreat, which echoes the water motif. This is the scene where Juliet takes the poison, creating the effect of death, though not death itself.

We are back to the beginning. Pran knows this is a tragedy. He's the one who first thinks about going home, even knowing they will not be able to go back together. Pat wants to cling to this little slice of possibility for just a bit longer, but Pran knows that this can't work forever, and Pat knows this too. While Pat is more willing to delay this looming conclusion, they both know they'll have to go home.

Okay, and so what? Romance stories often have a third-act breakup, there needs to be some sort of conflict. What makes this any different from a traditional romance narrative?

When the show was airing, there was a lot of worry that the show wouldn't have a happy ending, or if Pat and Pran did end up in a relationship, it would be after an extended breakup. The show definitely tried to cultivate this response with the inclusion of the Kwan and Riam play and the preview for episode 12. But the show also had put out all these little signals that things weren't as they seemed, and that disaster would be averted once again.

It is important to note that there isn't actually a third-act break up. They never break up! There's not even really any miscommunication. Bad Buddy has been laying clues for the audience, with the multiple bait and switch tragedies, from the curtain to the gunshot. Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy, but a key element of that tragedy is the deception: Juliet taking the poison to fake her own death so that she be with Romeo. But Romeo doesn't know about the lie, and he is tricked as well. Pat and Pran, alternatively, are together in this deception, lying to their families and most of their friends, and in turn, the audience.

They take control of the narrative. They choose what details to share and with whom. When they finally let the audience in on the deception, they do so directly, breaking the fourth wall by narrating their own story.

This is where I'd like to bring in the idea of queer futurity and queer temporality. Queer temporality addresses the idea that queer time operates outside of and in opposition to linear normative institutions and chronologies, and that experiences of the past, present, and future can feel different to queer people. For example, coming of age milestones can take place on different timelines for queer people. Queer futurity looks specifically to the future as queerness's domain. It allows us to imagine a possible world beyond the present, a future that is not yet here. (Shoutout to @shannankle who brilliantly applied this lens to The Eighth Sense and got me thinking about this topic).

Bad Buddy plays with the idea of queer time with the realization of the queer romance. There are two time skips in Bad Buddy (between episodes 6 and 7 and between 11 and 12). Already this creates the sense of delay. Much of Pat and Pran's relationship is characterized by waiting, from the three years when Pran was sent away before university to the four years where they hide their relationship. It wasn't the right time for them then, and it isn't even really the right time for them now. They are waiting for a time to be free, a future that is not here yet, but on the horizon.

Nevertheless, there is an optimistic turn to this waiting; they are facing this delay together. Discussions of queer futurity creates the impression of separation between the present and the future, but here they are holding hands, creating a continuum between these temporalities. This optimism is in direct defiance of the expectations of tragedy, especially as common as it is in queer narratives. So much of queer media does not end happily; however, Pat and Pran do get a happy ending and their story does not end in tragedy like Kwan and Riam's or Romeo and Juliet's.

But its a nuanced ending. The parents don't reconcile; although they are starting to thaw towards the idea of their sons dating, the show ends without the parents talking. But that's not what it's about. It goes back to Uncle Tong's words. As Pat says, "We might not be able to change the people around us, but they couldn't change the two of us either." All they could do was "adjust to it and live happily." They are looking towards a world beyond the present, but while they are waiting, they can still be happy.

Pat and Pran make the choice to have a happy ending. They have a lot of agency in this decision, thwarting familial and genre expectations. It all goes back to the smiley faces Pran surrounds himself, putting himself in a sea of optimism when he isn't necessarily a very optimistic person. It's about the ):) face. That face is also about choice, its about perspective, and how close happiness and sadness are to each other. But Pran chooses to have it be a smiley face instead of a frowny face. Pat and Pran choose to stay together.

Bad Buddy takes two straight romantic tragedies, combines them with audience expectations of queer tragedies, and subverts all of it.

In both Romeo and Juliet's and Kwan and Riam's stories, the lovers die alone. Pat and Pran live together.

Bibliography

Freeman, Elizabeth. Time Binds: Queer Temporalities, Queer Histories. Durham: Duke University Press, 2010.

Halberstam, Judith. A Queer Time and Place: Transgender Bodies, Subcultural Lives. New York: New York University Press, 2005.

Helmsing, Mark E. "Queer Futurity." Encyclopedia of Queer Studies in Education, ed. Kamden K. Strunk and Stephanie Anne Shelton. Leiden: Brill, 2022, p. 518-522.

Muñoz, José Estaban. Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity. New York: New York University Press, 2009.

Plae Kao. Directed by Cherd Songsri, Cherdchai Production, 1977.

[waitmyturtles]

I was supposed to finally have a quiet moment this week, my first of 2024, to catch up on all the dramas I’m behind on, but alas — real life has gotten in the way, and it’ll still be a little bit before I have time to write big meta again. I’m way behind on thoughts for last week’s episodes of Playboyy, Last Twilight, and Cherry Magic Thailand, but I do very much want to write about them, so some quick notes on these three as follows:

1) I owe @poetry-protest-pornography and @chaos0pikachu my thoughts on camp and Playboyy. I intended to pen this post last week after last week’s episode, but said life (ha) has gotten in the way. Friends, please note that I still SO want to write this, because I think deconstructing why camp as a style works in art will be a wonderful conversation, regardless of the narrative success (or not) of Playboyy.

So, speaking of the narrative success of Playboyy — and the upcoming debate (maybe?) about a balance of style and storytelling in dramas, I watched last week’s episode of Playboyy with this post about The Sign in mind, because I think this post gets at a thing that I want to write more about re: Playboyy, which is, like — what makes a story/narrative contextually coherent, and what responsibilities do the artists behind a show have to viewers to make a story coherent?

I think one thing we were coming to in the conversation on camp at the end of last year was whether or not Playboyy could be considered a good, a successful, or maybe even a complete story by way of its various elements. At least for now, leaving camp aside, I still don’t think this show is working narratively at all. That Captain/Keen storyline had my head spinning — uh, your coach gave you one difficult practice, and you revenge on him by filming a sex tape without consent? How…..did we get there? Porsche now has feelings for Jump? I’m still not grabbing the whole Aob/Puen feelings debacle? The Nant/Nuth storyline has gotten momentum, but not enough to fill the majority of an episode, which is a shame, because it’s the only storyline element giving this show any context at the moment. And as @lurkingshan noted, the only real compelling moment in this episode was between Teena and Zouey about how they’d transcend reality to love better versions of each other. It was lovely to watch! But I’m still not sure why we’re watching all of these storylines and if, ever, they’ll come together in a coherent arc.

So, yeah man. I was so intrigued by the premise of this show. It ain’t workin’. I’ll have more to think on this regarding style. But the stories aren’t coming together — and I TRULY think that’s a shame, considering the important themes of the show.

2) From the little ability I had to poke around Tumblr last week after the last Last Twilight episode, I think (I think!) a general feeling was that the episode wasn’t as depth-y as it could have been for the MANY heavy moments of parental interventions that took place. I believe that’s right. I think there were too many gaps in the contextual flow of the show that left Day’s mom looking more like an enemy (like, even on Pran’s mom’s level) that could have been addressed with a touch more context coming from her.

Let me explain. When I see single moms in Aof Noppharnach shows, I first go to He’s Coming To Me. HCTM has the best BL mom ever — a single mom absolutely ready to embrace her son as he’s coming out.

We know Aof loves depicting moms; he wrote as much about it last year after Moonlight Chicken aired. He’s got some legendary moms — of course, Pran’s mom; Tian’s controlling mom (who I posit is actually a front for patriarchy in A Tale of Thousand Stars); Pat’s passive mom, who is actually way more down with reality than Pat’s dad; Kao’s mom that Kao is so fearful of by way of disappointment. (Special shout-out to Pete’s dad in Dark Blue Kiss as the best BL dad.)

In other words, we know Aof has the goods when it comes to commentary on parenting. We know from episode 9 that Day’s mom (Mhon) went through tremendous hardship to raise her boys, including begging for food. She’s a famous and successful chef by the time we meet her, a workaholic. She’s a single mom, a working single mom, and Porjai is about to be on the same cusp. Night happens to be the bridge to those two.

Mhon’s willingness to keep Day in his room….her ignoring Night to start the Christmas dinner. The taking away of Day’s phone, oof. Saying that Mhok crossed a line — all while she was aware that Day previously had a crush on August. These small points create quite the enemy storyline on Mhon.

This is unfortunate, because I actually felt, watching the episode, that there was a lot about Asian parenting that was being left on the table. Valuing work and the safety of one’s kids OVER their happiness is quite the social phenomenon in Asian parenting. A good bit of Day’s mom’s actions could actually be seen as appropriate by certain-minded parents in Asia.

Yet, to have Day’s mom then ignore Night during the dinner, to have Day’s mom take Day’s phone away without explaining why he can’t be in a relationship — even for an Asian viewer like myself, well used to a particular amount of conditional brutality in Asian parenting — those storytelling decisions seemed a little harsh without more context as to how Day’s mom was driven to be the way she is now.

We had plenty of context into Dissaya in episode 10 of Bad Buddy. That moment opened doors for us to get what the hell was going on. I would love to have a similar contextual moment for Mhon, words by her about her story, that tell us how she got to where she is by way of raising her boys and becoming successful. Despite her behavior to her sons — we know she worked damn hard to provide for them. A badass lies within, and I know a successful Aof show would show us that. I hope we get it.

3) Cherry Magic Thailand, episode 5! I LOVE what’s happening with Rock/Min against the Rokkaku/Minato storyline — I love this expansion, and how Rock is less clueless and much more emotionally vulnerable than Rokkaku. I love feisty Pai. I LOVE Junior’s Jinta! I have to continue covering my mouth as I cackle.

As compared to Adachi at this point in the storyline — I wonder if CMT is offering Achi a bit more of the clueless hand than he deserves. I love the embellishments to the jealousy storyline between Karan and Kurosawa — Achi and Rock pushing off in the boat alone was particularly poignant — but Achi is well aware of Karan’s heart now, and I’m a little surprised that he seems a dash clueless that his interactions with others would make Karan jealous.

This is a minor quibble, though. Achi and Adachi are two dudes unfamiliar with love. But I wonder slightly if this vibe I’m feeling is perhaps a result of the original Cherry Magic Japan story being literally doubled in time in Thailand.

Again — MINOR quibble. This show is a refreshing delight. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE the next part of the storyline. I love that they found a similar place in Thailand to shoot Karan’s drunk flashback scene as Kurosawa’s in Japan. Will Achi offer us Thailand’s version of a classic JBL run? I sure damn hope so!

That’s it! I think I’ll be able to catch up on all of this week’s shows in real time, bless up!

[i-got-the-feels]

Bad Buddy

@taeminie 1

This quote and them and the rooftop scene for "you will never be friends"!!! Big fucking brained Ali!!

@dengswei 1

Pat's face of love and adoration accompanying as to how he loves pran with his every atom and prans face of heartbreak because he looks at him with despair. Perfect lines for them.

@daymork 1

25-21 x Bad Buddy = me shaking screaming and crying. That too a fucking baek yijin quote. The day this doesn't make me insane (it will never happen)

@snimeat 1

Something about how pat pran balance each other no matter where they go, be it whether they are happy or sad. I think the essence of that is beautifully captured with the quote and pictures you chose gei

@pranpat 1 2 3

1 I don't even need to elaborate. The set fucking begins with "we lead two different lives, just like two lines that never cross"

2 Jay, I hope you know you chose violence by combining richard siken and rooftop scene together. I hope you know what you did.

3 "who will come into the kitchen and be hungry for me?" with that expression of pat. Followed by pran saying "I always wanted to cook for someone I like" I am so so so okay

@sunsetandthemoon 1

You beautifully summarized their whole journey and that is why this is here. It's one of the sets that will always make me emotional

Only Friends

@celestial-sapphicss 1

This song describes the soul of the show. This set captures it.

@alienwlw 1 2 3

1) The words!!! With the shots you chose!! Childhood ray in first set!! And happy smiling ray daring to hope for a future with sand!!

2) this set beautifully captures how ray let's himself be used by mew. Because he thinks that's the kind of love he deserves. That's how much love he deserves. Even though he knows he can have more with sand, that is why he selfishly tried stopping sand to move on.

3) delving deeper into Boston's motivations? Yesssss. His sexual escapades as a way to feel human connection? Give me more

@spicyvampire 1

"You're coming down with me hand in unlovable hand" pleaseee Boston does not know how to define love. And the definitions he has are in conflict with the society he lives in. That's why he is alone. That's why he is hurt. Even if he owned up to his mistakes.

@gunsatthaphan 1

The shot of gifs with the words?? Hues of healing with them holding hands in bathtub? Shadows of patience and hours accompanying sands heartbreak of "ray *was* my 25th hour scene? I have said enough

@smileytharn 1

This. Them holding hands. After the initial hesitation. After ray went to sand to apologise and show how much he means to him. Sand acknowledging that and opening up more to him about music - the thing that means most to him. Amazing zey!

@raypakorn 1

A set capturing Ray's Self-destructive nature perfectly not being on the list? Not today, buddy. Not today. Today, we cry at tanies amazing brain and talent in making this set

@sollucets 1

This song and them? Especially the time ray was "confused" over his feelings for sand. Heartbreak. Never thought a bop pop song can cause this much emotional damage. Amazing job love

@icouldhyperfixatehim 1

What I love about this edit is that captures Boston's journey so well. As a friend. Their friendships fallout and reconciliation, or no reconciliation with mew. As a lover, and being left behind because you both no longer have denial as an option and have to escape the fact that you guys are too different in defining love and hence cannot be together.

@sandrayy 1

Listen this quote goes well with sandrayy. Because if anyone understands the value of Ray's tears and will die rather than see ray cry is sand.

Kinnporsche

@dingyuxi 1

This poem is for them okay? "you are too good at violence and he is too good at forgiving" with scenes you chose will always devastate me

@kinnporsche 1

A big hug and chefs kiss to you because the scenes you chose? Episode 4, Episode 5 angst and Episode 7 ending? Yesssss. They burned for each other. Only when did they give in they found solace because they burned brighter together.

@kinnsporsche 1

The scenes you chose!! Kinn giving into his attraction to Porsche and calling him his sun. Him letting go Porsche as moon when he lets him go. And the scene where he tells Porsche how special he is as stars!!!

@alienwlw 1 2 3 4

1) "I let darkness eat the light" + Vegas standing in tears after kan left after inflicting his violence!!!!!

2) holy water scene with pete telling Vegas he is very hungry and needs to be taken care of?????? The big brained energy never ending with you my friend

3) Vegas being vulnerable openly!! The way you beautifully showed his journey to this point where he confesses his insecurities to pete!!! Insane!! Talented!!

4) pete coming to terms with this side of his? The side that craves violence. The side that craves to be dominated. Amazing

@magicaldreamfox1 1

The gif of pete leaving his job to show his support to Vegas. Even when he didn't know if Vegas would survive or not!!! Brilliant BRILLIANT.

@spicyvampire 1

I AM NOT ON MAIN FAMILY'S SIDE. I AM NOT ON MINOR FAMILY'S SIDE. I AM ON YOUR SIDE = TO TO HELL WITH YOU. galaxy brained. No notes. No words. No thoughts. Just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

@khaotunqs 1

The coloring in the set made me loose it. Black and white with hints of pink? The talent?! Also the quote you chose? Attack on every direction my friend. Mercy please.

@guzhu-furen 1 2

1) a set that highlights a relationship between all the brothers? Ofc i cried. Next question.

2) the fact that even pete didn't know why he went. Until he forced to acknowledge it ofc. The quote is perfect perfect for the scene you have choosen

Between Us

@smittenskitten 1

A parallels of the "be brave for me" scene is made for me. I cry.

Last Twilight

@sandrayy 1 2

1) I have rambled about how the quote goes so well with them in tags and will do again. They both help each other find their purpose. Something they lost along the way by the course their life took. And this existential shit makes me emotional.

2) I love how simple the quote is yet because of the scenes chosen shows the initial flurry of nervousness and excitement when new to liking someone so well

@morkofday 1 2

1) The way they both met each other just days ago but already cherish each other. As individuals. Not as roles they play in each other's life. I cannot.

2) this!! you cannot tell me that when Mork held on to days chin and dismissed the job opportunity they both didn't have horny visions. You cannot. I think you showed their journey beautifully here.

Also love the oranges in both - i d k if its intentional but love that it goes with the shows name so well.

Love In The Air

@bird-inacage 1

The words just hit me whenever I see this set. Love, your writing is beautiful. The font you have used in the set amazing. The scenes you have chosen are perfect. Thank you for this.

@prapais 1

The softness and protectiveness prapai has towards sky. And how even if he isn't a violentan for nature, he wouldn't hesitate for sky. Uff.

Midnight Museum

@daymork 1

I love the composition of the images. Especially the second one. Showing his fate across universes before showing their conversation in third image? The sense of hope that I got after the feeling of futility?? Totally brings across the feelings i have towards the damn articraft.

@alexshenry 1

The coloring of purple and yellow is so fucking dreamy. And something about Kathadome and moon - a universal symbol of hope, of light in darkness??? Amazing my love Nuria

@hoppipolla 1

I am so sorry love. I adore your set because it brings out the universal truth. Time doesn't erase the pain. It's just that we learn to manage it better. Thanks to people around us. The same happened with Katha. I am so glad I found this set

My School President

@pharawee 1

Their friendship!! They will always be there for each other. Gun can be vulnerable with them without worry. Something he doesn't easily do probably cause he doesn't want to worry his mum. But all his friends encourage him to be open and vulnerable. They tell him he is okay and how just because he is strong he doesn't always have to be strong.

@chinzillas 1

Anna!! This edit is one of those forever emotional damage causing arts. It perfectly gets the slice of life, I am growing up. I aam happy but scared to grow up. I am leaving behind the me i currently know. Will I like how I grow to be? How much of it can I control? The anxiety, the home, the excitement, the dreams, the optimism, the hope and the fears we all have as young adults is so fucking beautifully felt in this edit.

Not me

@dimpledpran 1

I cannot believe I discovered this edit so late. The quote is so fucking accurate. And the scenes chosen? Especially for the second gif with tawi??? Big brained energy

@taeminie 1

The scenes you chose for how the kingdom lights shined and one day we will be remembered are PERFECT

@magicaldreamfox1 1

A black and white journey edit in interaction with their parents? Those parents who are people in power and that maintain the very system their kids are revolting against? Delicious

@morkofday 1

I am so glad I requested this set because your badassself delivered. The differences in their ideologies is shown so beautifully here. I cry.

Vice Versa

@ardentlytess 1

Whenever I see this edit, it makes me nostalgic. This is the edit I shall use when persuading my friends to watch vice versa. It captures their journey so beautifully.

@daymork 1

They fell in love with each other without knowing each other's faces. Survived travelling across universe. And had "thank you for being born so that I can love you" so no they aren't ever ending

Never Let Me Go

@shuyis 1

This quote and Palm??? Perfection. He didn't hate his mother for leaving him. Sure he was hurt ans confused but he gave her the benefit of doubt. And when he met her and heard her reason? He accepted her. He loved her. He grieved her loss. He didn't hate his father who left him when he was a boy to go a protect a boy his age. He was concerned for his father's safety and well being. Hell he didn't even hate the boy or boys family. Palm was kind in true sense of the word.

@jyuubin 1

Not tooting my horn but in one of my sets I made for nlmg I wrote a line. It was "if the choice between me and you, it's not a difficult choice at all. I'd always choose you" and I love how this set captured that. Palm didn't give up on him and Nueng even when Nueng became scared and did. He fought for them.

Moonlight Chicken

@maggiecheungs 1

This set inspired me to make my basic-ass set. Need I say more as to how much I adore this?

@jimmysea 1

Heart and li ming don't just see each other. They welcome each other. And the thing about welcoming someone is you understand everyone has their own time of coming to you. They gave each other the time required without rushing the other and the quote you chose just gets this across so well

@raypakorn 1

The damn quote. With Alan. And the scene you chose. "I am on business of loosing your interest". Yeah so okay I am.

@pharawee 1

The neon font just fits so well with the vibe of the show. Light in between darkness. Feeding people at night when people are most tired.

@taeminie 1

The quote goes so so so fucking well with heart and li ming. For heart, li ming is the first person to make accommodations for his need without showing him pity. His gratitude, amazement and love for li ming just come across so well.

The Eclipse

@youdontloveme-yet 1 2 3

The day I am not wrecked over by these 3 sets you made for eclipse is the day you can consider sun has risen from west. What were you thinking while making these? "chasing after echoes" for akk???? "there are only remnants left of you" for Ayan??????

@morkofday 1

The sense of home they give for each other. Akk can keep his fears of inadequacy at rest when with Ayan because Ayan accepts and cherishes him as he is. Ayan can take off his mask of strength off and show his grief and sadness because akk will be there to support him.

To Sir, With Love

@shyishsarawat 1

Listen for a low-heat soap opera? These dudes fucked a lot through their eyes. And when they touched? Yeah that was hotter than any kiss. And i think the quote perfectly captures the tension, devotion, adoration and love they share for each other

@tinnchan 1

Take me to church?????? With to sir with love??? Nads I wish I could say more but my brain just goes AHHHH THIS SONG IS THEM THEY ARE READY TO DIE FOR EACH OTHER THEY ARE EACH OTHER'S RELIGION THEY WORSHIP THEIR LOVE. THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS THEIR SHRINE.

Things to note

These include edits that I found in 2023.

These include edits that gave me the feels.

Thank you for your art. They make the experience of watching the show all the more fun. It helps in appreciating the characters. It helps me see them in new light.

Looking forward to see more of art from amazing artists on here.

To people I didn't tag - tumblr tagging limit sucks. Your art is beautiful simply because it's made. You made it with a feeling and that in itself is beautiful.

Also, the tag is #becauseigtf in case yall wanna tag me in future :)

[pokomumee]

Here’s a PatPran brain vomit no one asked for:

*******

**Pat**

Pat doesn’t think he knows exactly when or how he fell for Pran. Even now, years and years later, he wouldn’t be able to tell you what it was that made him realize that the boy he’d been told to hate all his life is the one for him.

Pa would still make fun of him about how it was her ‘guide-to-know-if-someone-is-into-you-in-4-steps’, which was in fact meant for Ink, that led Pat to realize his feeling for Pran. She even told Pran about it, the little shit. He’d almost kill her, but then Pat really does love his little sister, so. Pran made the most incredulous face and laughed it off, though he would still bring it up sometimes when he wants to drive home the point that Pat is the clueless idiot in their relationship. Which, there’s actually never really any need to drive home that point, Pat already knows, okay?

In his defense, Pran also has not told him in so many words about how and when he fell for Pat either. However, because they have been together for almost a decade now, he has an inkling that Pran realized his feelings for Pat way earlier than him. Like, way, way earlier, maybe even before he was shipped away to boarding school (the dark age of Pat’s life, now that he looks back on it). Pran never confirms nor denies this hypothesis of his, but. Like he said, he has an inkling.

The fact that Pat never noticed anything until that fateful night on the rooftop when Pran asked him if he wants them to be ‘friends’, that single tear rolling down his cheek, the most beautiful thing Pat’d ever seen in his 18 years on the Planet…well, he knows, okay? He’s the clueless idiot, he knows. Every time Pat thinks about how much his cluelessness must have hurt Pran, his heart would clench up with so much guilt he wants to introduce his head to the nearest brick wall, multiple brick walls if they were readily available, one wall would never be enough.

So, yes, Pat tries not to think about when or how Pran fell for him, which might be the reason he finds himself wondering instead about when and how he fell for Pran. He thinks it might also be because their 10-year-anniversary is coming up, although to be completely honest with you, as a couple they still cannot agree on when the start of their relationship actually was. Pran says it should be the day Pat showed up unannounced to surprise him as Riam at the architecture play practice when everything became official. Pat thinks it should actually be when the bet started because, really, who were they even trying to kid? Anyhow, he guesses there’s the first clue as to how he may never find out when the actual moment of his falling for Pran was.

*******

Pat’s life had always revolved around Pran from the very beginning, arguably even before his life started, if their mothers fighting over which of their sons would have the prettier girlfriend while they were still fetuses count. How the sons in question end up with each other instead of a pretty girl is most certainly the Universe’s middle finger to both their families for being so petty, but he digresses. Pat maybe clueless but he is aware that he’d always held a myriad of strong, no, vicious feelings towards the boy next door. Pat has never claimed to be an analytical type (that’s all Pran) and has always gone with his instincts, so obviously, he wouldn’t have any idea if one of those feelings were attraction, infatuation, love or just…some other visceral emotions. There were too many candidates, okay? Go look up the Emotion Wheel, go on, Pat will wait.

For some time, Pat was convinced the moment he fell for Pran was the moment in the music shop after the fiasco that was his and Pa’s attempt at testing out her 4-step-rule on Ink. In hindsight, though, that was possibly just the moment his feelings toward Pran became apparent to himself. And by apparent, Pat means too uncomfortable not to notice. He even thought at first that what he was feeling that day was frustration he felt towards not getting through to Ink. But then he realized that his eyes never really fallowed Ink, and his heart was definitely never with her after they’d reconnected in university. He really did crush on her in high school, sure, he wouldn’t deny that. However, the second time around, Ink was somehow a welcomed distraction from the real sight his eyes were wont to follow, the topic his brain kept switching to, and the person who made his heart feel that little bit off kilter on the daily.

It should have been pretty straight forward what those feelings were if it wasn’t Pran who was at the center of all the muddled pool of events and emotions. Pran who’d always been at the center of most, if not all, of Pat’s life-defining events and the object of Pat’s obsession for the entirety of his life. How was Pat supposed to distinguish attraction from the sea of everything he held inside of himself for that boy. Even Pran’s dimples were confusing to him, for crying out loud. Pran’s door hanger made it a little easier to gauge his mood, but not by much.

Pran was an enigma, the ultimate differential equation Pat had to solve. He just couldn’t figure out for the life of him why. Pat did ask himself whether it’d always been this way even before. And it wasn’t. He can’t say for sure, but for now, at least, he doesn’t think so. He thinks back on it and resolves that it was most likely because before Pran was pulled out of their high school and Pat’s life, Pran’d always been a constant. Pat’d never consider the possibility that Pran would one day disappear in the same vein that he thought Pa would always be in his life. So, in his defense, it’s only logical that Pat’d feel differently about Pran after, even though he did not understand why, alright?

So, yes, Pat doesn’t know and probably will never know for sure so he'd just have to make a decision, and he decides that the moment he fell for Pran was going to be when Pran kicked him in the chest, right over his beating heart. It’s totally and aptly poetic, really. Because that’s when Pran walked back into his life and everything changed.

Like he said, Pat’s well aware he’d always felt strong emotions towards Pran. But that’s just how he was raised, how they were raised. Pat was made to be in tune with Pran, the boy whose bedroom was across from his but he was forbidden to talk to, but then climbed over to sneak inside uninvited more times than he can count anyway. Pran’s every achievements were also the milestones of Pat’s very own life. From the first time his baby self uttered the word ‘Ma’ to that moment Pran was whisked away right before his eyes, in the middle of their song, from their very first stage together. Talk about being dramatic.

His high school years thereafter were not miserable by any means, if he were to be honest. But something fundamentally changed within him when Pran went away. Pat was expectedly and obviously clueless to that change inside of him, it’s the running theme of his life, he supposes. But then everything started to feel dull, like he was looking at the world through a tinted glass; the sceneries became monotonous, boring. He did not realize this until the moment the words came out of his own mouth that night on the rooftop, but yeah, he felt depressingly lonely without Pran. His grades, and even sports performances, started suffering for a while, just because he stopped trying or even caring. It wasn’t fun anymore to excel in everything if Pran wasn’t there for him to compete with. But of course, his Dad wouldn’t let him slack off, so Pat got back on track to becoming the golden boy that he was, but. Nothing was ever the same.

There’d also been this simmering rage inside of him since Pran went away. Pat thought it was normal back then. After all, he was just another hot headed teenager, hormones and all. And he was never violent or anything like that. It was just…he felt on edge all the time. There was always an urge to lash out at something. A little pit of smoldering coal inside his chest, black and ugly, not erupting into flames yet refused to ever be put out. He didn’t know what it was, but looking back he was probably angry at…at what?…his and Pran’s parents? the Universe? for taking Pran away, maybe. Now that Pat thinks about it, though, he was probably mostly angry at himself for not being able to do anything about it. So yeah, he got himself into more and more fights, usually for valid causes, albeit sometimes only vaguely. He’d never actually got himself into serious trouble; he was clueless, not stupid. However, Pat was on a trajectory…and it wasn’t a pleasant one. He isn’t sure where or what he was heading towards, luckily he didn’t have to find out.

Pran walked back into his life, and by walk, Pat means running in with a flying kick to his chest, shocking his heart into beating properly again. The simmering rage gradually dissipated, and Pat stopped feeling like he wanted to punch someone or something for no reason all the time. Except for Wai, yes, but that was totally reasonable.  Even Wai would agree.  Maybe not. But you get the picture

Pat still remembers the moment he got up from the ground, clutching at his chest and saw Pran standing there. Suddenly memories of his life with Pran came pouring back. You know how people who’s gone through near-death experiences say their lives flash before their eyes? It was like that, only Pat felt the opposite of dying. His senses were at once on high alert. Alive. Pran was back. He was here. And no one has ever been able to keep Pat on his toes like Pran did. Ever. So Pat isn’t dramatizing the event of that day or anything. But even if he did, this was the moment he fell for the love of his life, he can be as dramatic as he likes, okay?

[neuroticbookworm]

*deep breath* FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Alright, I'm gonna make my case for the Bad Buddy Rooftop Kiss. This is probably gonna be the most personal I've ever been on this hellsite.

Let's get this out of the way. I loved Kinnporsche. I honestly did (even though it might not look like it since this is the second time I'm passionately campaigning against the show). I loved it so much that I made my very busy best friend, @tonysteve25 who is planning their wedding, make up the time to talk to me so I can rant for two hours about the show (no need to judge me, I know y'all are equally crazy)

I'm gonna strip the plot to the basics and then build my argument, so if I end up reiterating a lot of themes that are already discussed, apologies in advance

Bad Buddy is, at its core, a Romeo and Juliet retelling. Set in a fairly conservative Asian country, and produced by a media industry whose brand of storytelling often involves an AU-esque setting where homophobia does not exist. We are shown time and again that Pat and Pran's friends and family do not have a problem with them being in a same-sex relationship.

So the conflict comes from the history their families have with each other. As a South Asian cinephile, I've watched this trope play out so many times with heterosexual couples that I'm sure it has unwittingly become a part of my brain chemistry. Oftentimes, the reasons why the families are feuding are so over the top that every shred of relatability gets thrown out the window.

In Bad Buddy's case, the reason is kept simple, albeit childish in the beginning. A business rivalry between the two families, and as a result, the boys are also pitted against each other. This simplicity gives way to a lot of levity in the beginning, but as the story progresses, the real strength of this narrative starts seeping through. This show is relatable. Almost too relatable.

The constant pressure to outperform the other in every way, be it academics, sports, or romance; the expectation on Pat to follow his dad's footsteps and match his achievements, even in a dumb singing competition; the guilt that permeates every moment of joy they feel in their relationship, because they are always aware that they are actively disappointing their parents; the quiet, painful realization in the later episodes that they will never be accepted into each other's families, no matter how hard they try; the revelation that the root of the conflict came from a scholarship stolen from a woman, to satisfy the expectations of a patriarch.

Every statement above is the reality of so many Asians living their lives right now. I personally know couples who have been cut off from their families for over 20 years because they don't approve of their love/marriage. I have peers who blindly follow the career path charted for them by their parents because it is easier than resisting and doing something they actually like. A lot of us are left feeling unmoored and struggling to define our self worth in the real world, after we leave academia, because that is all we are ever taught: your grades indicate how worthy you are.

Now, I know not a single word above argues why the kiss is the best, but I'm getting there. Stay with me now. Many people more talented than me have argued the specifics of the kiss, the reasons why it grabbed us by our throats the first time we saw it, and why we are still on that rooftop with them. The reasons submitted in the poll describe it so eloquently, beat by beat (edit: I found out that it was witten by @tiistirtipii, here). @respectthepetty begs us not to disappoint Pat again here, @lurkingshan dives deep into the character analysis and why the kiss is the perfect culmination of narration, pacing, and the characters' journey here, @waitmyturtles explores the importance of foreplay, the 'how did we get here' before the kiss, here.

What I want to draw attention to are two things. One: how this kiss was executed in such a way that all of their deeper struggles are woven into the microexpressions, so when you rewatch the show, all of the added context makes it so much more heartbreaking.

Let's be clear here, Pat and Pran did not get a happily ever after. They did not break all of the chains that were weighing them down. Pat went on to follow his father into the business (who also followed his father into it). They have to keep their relationship a secret, with no end in sight. Even in the end, the audience is shown only a hidden, reluctant acceptance from the parents, not an open love.

Pat and Pran's relationship will always be bittersweet. And the kiss shows it. The fact that the kiss was the very last shot to be filmed is no coincidence. The actors know how it ends, they have already performed it. They also know that the characters in this moment know it too. They have lived all their lives playing their families' games, they know that if they take this leap of faith, then they are willingly giving up so many little moments in life, even something so mundane as entering each other's house through the front door. And we can see it, see all of it clearly in Pran's face. Pran, who plans every detail of his life. Pran, who is also in love with his rival for who knows how long. And then we see it in Pat's face too, if only after a moment, because that's the way he is. Pat, who has looked at Pran all his life as a rival, a bandmate, a secret friend. Pat, who is the only one who can completely understand Pran, his anger and grief and devastation, because they only have each other in this wretched game. We see his face fall, and we see confusion cloud his happiness.

This kiss is the perfect summation of their relationship, shown at the very beginning of it. They can have desire, but be riddled with guilt. They can have happiness, but only in secrecy.

Two: how this kiss did more for Asian queer representation than we can ever comprehend.

I was not present in the Tumblr trenches with y'all when the show originally aired, but I've read many, many posts about how it broke the internet. Western media often fucks up queer characters because they don't write fully fleshed out characters who happen to also be queer. They place enormous emphasis on the character's queerness, and end up writing a stereotypical cardboard cutout in the shape of a queer person. Complex queer representation is hard to come by, add Asian into the mix and the pool gets laughably small.

In the episodes leading up to the kiss, we see the characters get fleshed out, their struggles explored, but they are also deeply rooted in the middle class Asianness of it all. I know it is ironic to say that other shows from Thailand are less Asian than this one, but the struggles of a queer mafia boss/rich businessman/heir to the corporate throne protagonists can sometimes be a tad out of touch for the general populace, and we can only feel so much nostalgia for our school days before we are tired of the saccharine sugar high.

When I saw this kiss for the first time, my eyes teared up, not because these gay characters are having a hard time, but because I could feel their pain, irrespective of my sexuality. I knew deep in my bones how a kiss can simultaneously feel like freedom and a lifelong trap. And I'm sure so many others felt it too. The kiss went viral because it was a perfect representation of so many struggles of Asians and the diaspora (and beyond), and it happened to be queer.

I don't know how the results will tally up when the clock runs out, but I hope we can chalk up a honest-to-goodness happy ending for them, if only in a silly Tumblr poll.

cc @bl-bracket, here ya go, a very long and rambling campaign propaganda

[grapejuicegay]

A... rather personal defense of Pran

I've seen a lot of people being confused about Pran's behaviour and rather upset by him. But like @waitmyturtles said in their review, "I see Pran dealing with something really complicated." Which, yes. That's what this post is about. I just don't think it's about Singapore.

It's about Pran's OCD. I think there was a consensus last week with the way Pran talked about it that it was a recent diagnosis. And I think this episode just confirmed that for me.

This is where the personal part begins - I was diagnosed with OCD in 2020, in the very first few months of covid. When I told people about it I got about the same response that we had to Pran - it's not surprising but it's good that it's an official diagnosis now.

Such a diagnosis is almost a relief when you get it because suddenly a lot of things start making sense. But it also comes with a very fun challenge - learning to deal with it. Because while you understand why you get so much more anxious and overthink more than most people, you're also suddenly more aware of your thought patterns. You have to be, to find a way to work through them, to not give into the intrusive thoughts. But looking at the intrusive thoughts is one of the best ways to let them take over. You do have to look at them though, because you have to learn to recognise them. Because you cannot deal with them until you do. It's a rough cycle.

I was a few years older than Pran when I was diagnosed, and in a very different place in my life. The pandemic that we didn't know a lot about at that time looming over our heads did not help my anxiety, but the lockdown gave me something really special - time and space to work through it all. I wasn't in college so I didn't have the constant looming threat of deadlines and figuring out my future in that very moment. I also didn't have the very unique set of stressors Pran lives with - friends and family from whom you're hiding a relationship that if revealed could potentially lead to very severe consequences, consequences that in the past have been the worst of his anxieties come to life. Nor a relationship to maintain while being overtly aware at all times that this is not the kind of relationship your partner would really want, that they're only in this because of you.

And there is the sacrifice of it all. There is the thing that keeps coming up again and again - that Pat does so much for him. That Pat helps him all the time, that Pat's sacrificed so much for him, that Pran isn't sure he's good enough or ever will be.

Add to that the regular reminders from Pat that he overthinks. They're meant in a very good way and they do help in the moment, I'm not denying that at all. But it's also a fact that Pran struggles with. It adds to his concern that he's a burden on Pat with the way he thinks, that Pat has to do so much work because of Pran's brain, something Pat had no say over (something Pran had no say over but it's harder to see it like that in the moment).

I've had my diagnosis for the past 3 years now. And it hasn't been until the past year that I've finally started feeling confident in myself and my ability to regulate my anxiety, to finally start feeling like I have control over my brain. Because as much as knowing the diagnosis helps, the work you have to do afterwards is no joke.

So yes, Pran is going through something very heavy, but it's not the prospect of going to Singapore (I don't believe that exists just yet, but it's coming soon). Pran is in the process of figuring out how to make his brain work in his favour instead of actively against him. He's learning to rely on people when he needs to while fighting off constant reminders that he's a burden.

And we've seen Pran make a lot of progress. Any points at which he talks about being anxious are progress. Any time he lets himself be upset is progress. Any time time he says any of his worries out loud (even if he can't say them directly to Pat yet), he has fought his way through who knows how many intrusive thoughts to get to that point. And in the same regard - he probably feels guilty about having Pat say "I can't live without you" first. Because he's likely just as aware that Pat has done so much for him that this is just another thing he's adding on top of that.

But - and I think this is very big - he knows that he needs Pat to say it first, to give him permission to feel this, that this isn't too much for him to ask for. This is him asking for help to express himself when he feels like too much. It helps them both in the long run. And I do think it's a very important step to get what we saw in ep 12 - a Pran that demands love, that demands to be babied. This is him giving himself permission through the hardest part of learning his diagnosis.

I love that we get this between ep 11 and 12 because with this ep 12 also becomes a hug, a way of telling us things may be rough for him but he gets through it. He'll get where he needs to be, wants to be. Just give him some time. Because just like with the parents, sometimes time is just what you need.

[talistheintrovert]

the urge to compare Dangerous Romance to Bad Buddy is strong, because there ARE parallels, but I would argue that those parallels actually do a really good job of highlighting the differences.

On the surface, they're both enemies-to-friends-to-lovers stories, where one half is a loud, brash, emotionally illiterate idiot (who isn't as much of an idiot as he pretends to be) and the other half is a reserved, bitchy, intelligent person who starts pining first and keeps it to himself.

but that's about where the similarities end. Because Kang is not Pat. And I mean that both (affectionate) and (derogatory). Affectionately because Kang is his own person with his own characteristics, he's not just a copy of a different character. And Derogatorily because, well. Kang was a BULLY three episodes ago. Pat could be a dick, sure, Pat picked on Wai, absolutely, but Pat would never bully somebody below him. He picked on Wai because he figured it was fair game. Kang pretty much EXCLUSIVELY picked fights with people lower than him, people he thought as lesser. He exerted power over them. And just because he seems to have stopped doing that now doesn't mean that didn't happen, and it especially doesn't mean that Sailom has forgotten it. Because SAILOM WAS ONE OF HIS VICTIMS.

which brings me to my next point - Sailom is not Pran. Sailom isn't just a rival, he was BULLIED by Kang, and he might have forgiven him for that now that they're friends but he can't *forget it*. You see it in that scene where he flashes back to the bullying when Kang offers him a lift on the back of his bike. That power imbalance plays a large part in making their relationship speed up and then slow right back down in these last few episodes.

But that isn't the only thing holding Sailom back, it's also their complete economic disparity. Kang is wealthy and Sailom is poor and in danger of being hurt because of debts he shouldn't have to be responsible for and every episode goes through great pains to remind not just us but THEM of the massive gap between them. Sailom is hyperaware that he can't think of anything except earning money, he doesn't have the time or energy to waste on somebody who doesn't like him back, so you see him, over and over again, shutting down any feelings he might have for Kang. Unlike Pran, who lets himself pine because it's the only thing he CAN do. Pran doesn't think he has a chance with Pat but he's allowed to love him in private, so he does. He yearns and he cries and he resigns himself to that fate. But Sailom can't even do that. He won't let himself.

People keep saying that Chimon isn't selling their chemistry as much as Perth but honestly I think that's INTENTIONAL. Sailom can't have what he wants and he KNOWS this. He's ALWAYS known this, it's just the reality of his life, and it's obvious in the way he talks. Even when Kang asks him what career he wants, he says engineering, but only a full half-episode later does he reveal that that isn't really true. But it's true to him, it has to be, because it's his only option. So even if he likes Kang he has to tamp it down constantly to avoid falling into the trap of having hope that Kang could ever like him back. He's always making a conscious effort NOT to be too affectionate.

The only times you can see him wearing his emotions on his face are when Kang opens up about something and you can see Sailom forget himself and just sort of LOOK at him, all open and emotional, and then it disappears right after.

gif from this post by @moonjisung because it's too early to find it in the tag lol

Meanwhile Kang doesn't overthink anything like that. So he can be overly affectionate and gaze at Sailom lovingly and not even question it. Because he likes Pimfah!! he's just being goofy with a new guy friend!! it's normal!! he doesn't like Sailom, that would be ridiculous, it's totally normal to be lost in your platonic bro's eyes!! he's obtuse, blind to his own feelings, and that's kind of to his own advantage because he'll continue to flirt without worrying about it. He'll continue to get distracted by Sailom because he hasn't worked out WHY Sailom is so distracting yet.

But Sailom knows exactly how he feels and that's exactly WHY he's always pulling back and not lingering in those moments as much as Kang. It's not that he doesn't have the ability to flirt or the chemistry either - if you think back to the first couple of episodes, Sailom has this flirtatious confidence when he hates Kang that just oozes out of him in every confrontational scene they have.

but he can't have that confidence with something he *actually wants.*

[bl-bracket]

Semifinals: Pat and Pran First Kiss (Bad Buddy) vs Nozue and Togawa First Kiss (Old Fashion Cupcake)

[Submitted Reasons Under Cut]

Pat and Pran First Kiss: "There aren’t enough words to describe the way I felt the first time I watched this kiss happen. The buildup is immense, Pat is jealous but he doesn’t understand his feelings, Pran has been in love for so long he doesn’t want to even think there’s a chance. Pat talks about how damn lonely he was without Pran. He recontextualizes their whole relationship, yes they were enemies but they were also the only two people who understood eachother. And with that they’re not quite enemies, at least not anymore. And if they’re not enemies do you think they could be friends? When Pran asks, “Do you want us to be friends.” The hesitation before Pat just says no. It holds the weight of the world. And of course Pat is the one to lean in and cross that barrier, Pran is still petrified of his own feelings after years of beating them into submission. But once Pat has taken that leap and crossed that line you can see Pran say ‘fuck it’ and just go for it. If this is the only time he ever gets to kiss Pat then godammit he is going to make it worth it. Hands in each other’s hair like they couldn’t get closer to one another if they tried, desperation spills out of every corner of their kiss. And when then break apart, Pran is beyond devastated, he knows they could never be together, that this kiss might have been his one and only taste of something he has longed for, and he leaves Pat standing there for him to slowly come to the same bitter realisation as his face shifts from lovestruck to heartbroken. Ohm and Nanon raised the standard for every other kiss in any future bl. Not to mention the kiss happened when Pat was wearing a shirt that says ‘baseball mom.’ There is no other kiss that could be more deserving of this win"

Nozue and Togawa First Kiss: "This kiss is ridiculously hot and is a culmination of so much that’s been simmering beneath the surface for the entire show up to that point. Togawa has been pining so hard for Nozue for so long that when Nozue gives him a glimmer of hope and then tries to leave, everything he’s been bottling up comes surging out. Kimura Tatsunari exudes a level of desperate lustfulness in this scene that’s as intense as anything I’ve seen in any genre. We’re all familiar with the idea that people look at a person’s mouth when they want to kiss them, but Togawa looks at Nozue’s mouth like he dreams about it every night and sees it every time he closes his eyes. No wonder he feels a need to stick his thumb in there. Takeda Kouhei also communicates so much in this scene. Nozue is shocked and confused but he can’t help but respond to Togawa’s kisses. You can see the gears turning—and refusing to turn—as he tries to make sense of what’s happening—and keeps kissing Togawa back even though he still can’t process it. Togawa’s declaration, “I’ve been trying to seduce you, with everything I have,” is the cherry on top."

[silviakundera]

Ok, upon request my thoughts on Bad Buddy, a good queer romance drama that doesn't get much if any international exposure outside the circle of Thai BL fans. Full spoilers.

after consuming literally dozens of BB videos, the best trailer to the drama imo is actually the talented samyvids' "Just My Type" songvid. Perfectly captures the setup.

* the hook: 2 boys raised by their feuding families to be rivals end up attending a university that has a childish Jets vs Sharksesque historic rivalry between the science/engineering vs artistic/architecture majors. Despite these 2 barriers, the boys stumble into a secret bromance and then into love. Secondary couple here is f/f, though it's basically just soft girls meet cute then getting together (no conflict).

* Comedic and light-hearted drama that doesn't take itself too seriously, while also swerving into the appropriate amount of angst for its set up.

* This '20-something bros in love' dynamic reminds me vividly of what a lot of SPN J2 RPF and Hockey RPF has tried to capture. The 2 leads feel like your prototypical good natured university bros and falling in love never changes that. Friends AND Lovers is a challenging dynamic to capture imo but Bad Buddy succeeds

* It helps the Bros In Love vibes that the actors look less primped & polished than many other asian BL productions. They seem like guys you could have actually had in your classes in uni.

* If you welcome the drama's tone and just vibe with it, I think it successfully executes 4 popular romance tropes:

- rivals to friends to lovers

- forbidden (hidden) love

- fall first vs fall harder

- golden retriever bounding around paw cleaning cat

* If you are going to sell me on a modern day romeo & juliet esque queer rom-com, without the bloodshed, then you BETTER put your money where you mouth is and make their love actually forbidden.

* Thankfully, Bad Buddy understood the assignment. It's not just a misunderstanding. Their parents truly do have a feud and they truly are forbidden to even be friends, forget a romantic relationship. 2 kids obligated to be enemies since birth, bound by this twisted shared experience that no one else understands.

* Pran falling first, with enough time to comprehend how cruelly impossible they are. Pat falling late, fast, and hard - too impulsive to consider the consequences and wearing his heart on his sleeve.

* Both characters won me over quickly:  cautious & restrained Pran who likes order, chaotic Pat who craves his attention

* Love that the dramatic tension & hiding in all the early episodes isn't revealed to be pointless. If there was no consequence, then it removes the poignancy of its classic rooftop kiss scene. Prans' fears must be justified in order for the angst to stand up in a rewatch. Pran's friends DO reject him at first. Their parents DO refuse to accept the relationship, including his mom considering this a personal betrayal.

* Prans' fears are painfully rational and everything he is scared of does have to be confronted. But that also gives romantic weight to his decision to give in to the feelings and accept the consequences.

* In the way that scifi authors will try to explore sociopolitical topics through allusions & metaphor, and that Hunger Games author keeps writing dystopian YA whenever she gets heated about politics, Bad Buddy does a good job imo of using the feuding families setup to address the reality of existing in a homophobic and transphobic society while being queer -- demonstrating it in a way that straight cis people can relate to. And approaching from this angle allows the production to tell that story with a certain emotional distance for queer viewers who have experienced such struggles.

* The bittersweet ending sells me completely on this drama. Closeted but not. Open but not entirely. Accepting that you can't change the world and make all your family & friends & coworkers accept your truth... but refusing to abandon them OR your truth. It's a decision so many queer people have made over the years, in different countries and decades. And it's tinged with hope.

* Let's acknowledge that indeed there is tons of product placement in this series. Sometimes to hilarious ends. But frankly, without this sponsorship the series would not exist. So I'm very grateful to suffer through the marketing that helped fund it.

* Available streaming in multiple places, including YouTube.

[telomeke]

POLL TAG – FIVE FAVORITE CHARACTERS

I was tagged by @lurkingshan (at this post linked here) and @pickletrip (at this post linked here). Thanks dearies! 🥰

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Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favorite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite.

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I'm sticking to BLs as well, because the field would be far too wide otherwise (can you imagine a poll with Dolly Levi, Buffy Summers, Joe Rossi from Lou Grant, Lady Deathstrike from X-Men 2, any one of the Golden Girls, Erik Killmonger from Black Panther the movie, the Beastmaster and cartoon Aladdin? 🤣).

Anyway, I don't watch all that much BL (not compared to the majority of people here on BL Tumblr, who have watchlists longer than Babe's wig when he was Wansarat in The Sign). So that narrows the field considerably for me – and my list has some likely suspects, including an unbreakable pairing, and also one highly unusual choice. But I'll explain my choices after the poll itself:

Why these characters? Here's my spiel:

PatPran (Bad Buddy)  I've combined these two as a single choice, because obviously they go together (and so well too). But really, I would have loved to have listed them separately, because I have different reasons for loving them. Pat is just an all-round good guy, hopelessly optimistic, generous and so giving; he thinks of others before himself (and if both partners in a couple do that, well, you then have a mutually-reinforcing relationship). Pran I love because I can see so much of myself in him, from his tics and foibles, his interests, to his struggles finding his courage and growing into his own identity.

Li Ming (Moonlight Chicken)  In a lot of ways, what Li Ming was going through in MLC paralleled some of my own experiences when I was a teen his age. If only they'd had MLC or something similar for teenage me to have watched growing up! Li Ming was somehow able to navigate the pressures of becoming someone true to himself (something that Pran, and I too in my teens, struggled with) while dealing with real world issues at the same time (economic hardship in Li Ming's case, while in mine it was general teen angst and family stress). He didn't let life get to him, and he stayed the course, knowing his own self-worth even when others were telling him to scale back his expectations (Uncle Jim and Heart's parents). Lessons in there for all LGBTQ+ teens, and Khun Noppharnach's socially-conscious BLs should be given more credit for the positive role models they portray and how they help the younger set. Plus Fourth did an excellent job bringing Li Ming to life (thanks in part I think to Director Aof's guidance; Fourth's Atom in My Love Mix-Up Thailand is a lot less grounded and authentic, at least from what I've seen in the first couple of episodes).

Porsche (KinnPorsche)  This entry is just for fun. KinnPorsche was a wild ride, whacking us with whiplash at every turn, and Porsche was emblematic of that experience. Cool, sexy martial arts fighter in one episode, total buffoon at the mercy of sprinklers, piss-allergic carp and mermaid costumes in others. Apo gamely played along, and he can do both slick action and slapstick comedy well, so watching Porsche always brought a smile to my face. Whether it was seducing Kinn with pappy supermarket bread, or warding off ghosts with a penis amulet, you never knew what craziness was in store next with this character. Pure entertainment.

Adachi (Cherry Magic)  Adachi charmed the briefs off me the moment the lift doors went CLANG!!! on him while he was distracted with whatever it was that was speedrunning through his head again. Such a lovable doofus, always surprised by whatever situation he managed to stumble into. Eiji Akaso is really good-looking, but he didn't care about image and happily took all the pratfalls in his stride. He somehow managed to imbue Adachi's clumsy clownery with a strange sense of dignity (helped along, I suppose, by the fact that we could also hear Adachi's inner monologue, allowing us to see the innocent good-heartedness within).

Dissaya (Bad Buddy)  This is the odd one out. Pran's mom was hated by so many fans during Bad Buddy's run, who blamed her for ruining Pran's life in many ways. And it's true her own hang-ups wrought havoc on Pran's relationship with the world outside. But for someone with so few scenes, I think she's actually one of the more complex characters in Bad Buddy, with a turbulent backstory that explains how her own relationship with the world got so warped. My read is that everything she did, including sending Pran away in high school, was done out of love for her beloved only son and motivated by a desire to protect him at all costs. She was a smothering, over-protective mother to be sure, but I think the lady just didn't know any better, and the last two episodes of Bad Buddy really do invite us to rethink our earlier appraisals of her. It wasn't easy doing Dissaya's character study based on the fairly scant details we got (write-ups linked here and here), but they were enough for me to glean an understanding of who I think she is. And I think in the end she is someone worthy of respect, so I do tip my hat out of respect for her. It's also obvious Pran loves her dearly, as much as she loves him back. And I think I trust Pran's judgement of character on this one. 😍

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Onward tagging:

@neuroticbookworm, @colourme-feral, @airenyah, @wen-kexing-apologist, @solitaryandwandering

I really want to tag more, but this game limits us to five so these are just five people tagged at random. If I haven't tagged you but you'd like to play, please do so (knowing that I want to tag everyone and then some)! And please tag me if you play, so that I can read and vote on your poll too. 😍

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[fellfirst-fellharder-fight]

Round 2: Fight 5

Napat "Pat" Jindapat/Parakul "Pran" Siridechawat (Bad Buddy) vs Franky/Nico Robin (One Piece)

Propaganda under the cut!

Napat "Pat" Jindapat/Parakul "Pran" Siridechawat (Bad Buddy):

Prans been in love with Pat since they were kids, Pat didn't realise that he loved Pran until they met again in Uni and then fights more to keep their relationship because Pran is scared to get sent away again

Childhood enemies to lovers (except Pran was in love with Pat since at least highschool. Probably a lot longer), seperated and then met again at uni. Pat comes to a crashing realisation in like 2 days that he is in LOVE with Pran, confesses to him that same day, and never looks back. Though Pran is hesitant (external pressures keeping them apart like family rivalry, university shenanigans, and already being a secret friendship), Pat pursues him into danger and remains steadfast in his love until Pran is comfortable. He is consistently showing up and proving to Pran that while Pran has been in love for years, Pat's emotions are no less deep, and will always lose to keep Pran happy.

look Pran was out here having his gay angsty awakening as a teenager realizing that he was in love the boy he was supposed to hate because of the rivalry between their family and starts repressing shit meanwhile Pat is living the himbo life and still unaware that his bestie is a lesbian and in love with his sister. it's not until they get to college where Pran is so resigned to his feelings that he doesn't expect anything to happen and then Pat attempts to confess his feelings to his lesbian bestie to which she responds "are you sure about that?" and he suddenly has an epiphany that he's in love with Pran and goes full on "if i don't have this man on me in five minutes i stg"

Franky/Nico Robin (One Piece):

Robin fell first, Franky fell harder.

Franky learns about Robin almost a decade before they meet. He learns that she is the key for the destruction of the world. She is dangerous but he (and his adopted brother) have the answer to counter the dangerous knowledge Robin has.

When they finally meet Franky thinks she killed his brother, still thinks she deserves to live and is willing to give up his own life so Robin can survive. Also because her friends are willing to fight the World Government to save her too. A bunch of kids make him believe that the most dangerous woman is worthy of rescue. Also: Fuck The Police!

Compared to that Robin knows nothing about Franky. All she knows is that this weird dude she never met before is helping her, telling her that “Living is not a sin” and constantly telling her that her friends are going to save her.

She sees him biting, kicking, blowing up his ass and risking his life multiple times for her, without knowing why he would do that.

They manage to flee from that situation and return to safety, together. Later, when it’s time to leave Franky’s home island and flee from the marines, the crew decides to steal his panties and lure him to the ship he built for them. Basically he is running across the city butt-naked. But being the stubborn fool he is, says he can’t leaven even though it’s his dream.

Robin decides enough is enough and squeezes his balls as a way to make him join the crew. In all translations she says that pirates can’t leave a treasure behind, calling him a treasure.

All of this is canon. And Robin calling Franky a treasure is why I think Robin fell first.

Franky fell harder when he finally understood that Robin wants him. And that even more after the timeskip.

- He calls her beautiful

- Praises her drawing skills

- Praises her being smart

- Worries about her when she faints

- Is allowed to sleep with his head on her lap

- Protects her from stones raining down

- Meets with her to secret dates

- Just overall supportive (Parts are canon, parts are fanon)

Sorry for any mistakes and I hope it makes sense!