now
I feel like this should be my first post in terms of self-care, spirituality etc. bc I have recently all of those topics that I feel like tapping into on this blog are leading back to this one.
So basically recently I started reading this book that just feels like an affirmation for all of the things that i have learned through experiences and different ways of thinking that i have adopted. The book is called “The power of now” and is written by Eckhart Tolle. At first I thought it was one of those self-help books that is going to end up on my shelf. And the thing is it was even gifted so, I didn’t touch it for months. But I guess divine timing.
The main point is we don’t realise that there is no future or past - they are just projections aaand ik it sounds super nerdy and spiritual, but keep up w me. We are experiencing life only here and now and there is no other time. It’s our brains that produce the concepts of time that also are the sources like fear and anxiety or sadness. Because if you think about it anxiety and fear are connected with the future while sadness comes with reminiscing.
Our emotions therefore are derived from these patterns of our brains.
Am I saying that they are invalid? No they are going through us for a reason - they teach us so much.
Am I saying that one should not go through them? Absolutely NOT. I feel like holding something and not experiencing it to its fullest height (unless it’s harmful) is the healthiest way to go.
Am I saying that happiness and love are also illusions ? No! As long it’s coming from within but not from an outside source that is deciding of your state and are not connected to your brain patterns…
All I am saying is that they (emotions) are not supposed to affect your state in the sense of your highest state/higher self/best version of you(whatever you wanna call it).
Of course this is how we come to the BINGO of this lil post. Our higher self that is connected to God/Universe/Multiverse/Simulation boss(whatever you wanna call it) is actually a state. This state makes you feel whole and cannot be really described with words(obv bc they are production of our silly little minds).
What comes close to describing is that you are connected to something in yourself that makes you believe that everything is just as great and that nothing can really take away your power of you. It brings you peace.
Sooo this is where the current moment comes in handy. By focusing on now you actually connect with your energetic inner body and realise that it is actually not that deep.lol
Try practicing now by fully committing to what is happening now. What do u hear? How is your body feeling in each and every part of it. Does it feel heavier on the surface that you are sitting/standing on? idk
Just look at your surroundings and experience everything as if there is no tmrw… and at some point you kind of feel like your worries are not valid. Now think about what would happen if you start practicing now more and just using logic when you need it.
Am I saying that ppl should just become bimbos and himbos and be silly and mindless all the time? Maybe :p but kind of the opposite. Cause you are not dumbing yourself down. You kinda step it up by knowing how to be smartass and deciding when to use it and when to center your consciousness in what is really important - your life in the current moment.
p.s. I hope i didn’t bring more confusion, but I hope with future self-care related posts i will be able to tap into manifesting, negative thoughts and sm more topics that derive from this one
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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