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#pov i put way too much thought into something that isnt that deep
spiderrverse · 1 year
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I only know bits and pieces of Spiderman 2099's comic lore but I AM a huge bug person so personally i think that if Miguel is really 50% spider, he should have the less cool spider traits too. I think it'd be incredibly funny if he involuntarily did the happy dance that tarantulas do when they get food
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thisdreamplace · 1 year
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hi dream!! i hope all is well. :) i’m curious, could you explain the ego, as well as the difference between ego and soul? everywhere i look someone has a different explanation and i’d love to hear your thoughts <3
hi <3 all is well love, i hope all is well for you too :3
oooo thats a really lovely question. i think it's pretty normal there's so many explanations of it because we're all experiencing life in our own unique way !
as for me, i see the ego and the soul as something we can give human-esque concepts to, without making it feel heavy or overly difficult. at least i've found this definition along my own journey, because i know i have tended to feel overwhelmed or heavily pressured by so much of the advice and povs that are popularized in the community.
so simply put, to me, ego is like the person i identify as, and the soul is the unconditional love, the conciousness (god) that connects to all things and everyone, that lives inside of us. this makes it simple for me because i never have to fight against anything like this. the ego operates from fear (which isnt a crime, thats its design), while the soul has a very deep knowing that my ego doesn't need to ever truly understand. it just has to learn to trust. in other words, dream (my human identity) just has to learn to trust and let go, and be. and like that, everything is taken care of :) i never have to fight parts of myself, just learn what feels best to me in any given moment and allow myself to live to the fullest, at my best capability in each moment.
xo
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just-a-fangirl13 · 4 years
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Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]
HOLY SHIT! 
This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)
SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE
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Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!
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Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]
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Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)
He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 
(ill get to my second reason in the end)
Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)
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Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 
The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!
Rileys Feelings!
“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”
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I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)
I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 
SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.
(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)
Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 
[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]
Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 
She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.
(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)
Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 
At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)
I was also a puddle on the floor. SO
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“Mac look-”
“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”
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“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”
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“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”
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Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.
Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 
She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)
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Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.
Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.
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Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.
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She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 
Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 
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That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.
Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!
Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.
Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...
BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.
Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.
especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.
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Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)
Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.
“Mac? Everything okay?”
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“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”
“Did what work?”
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“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”
and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...
Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 
She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 
BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*
So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.
A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.
Again this is what I took away from it.
BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!
I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)
Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.
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Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*
YUP IM HYPED. 
BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!
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ssa-sugar-tits · 4 years
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queen of hearts // chapter four
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summary: y/n y/l/n was crushed when she found out about maeve donovan. heartbroken, she left her entire life behind. what happens when she becomes the most prolific serial killer the bau has ever seen?
prologue + series masterlist & taglist
content warnings: swearing, angst, implied/mentioned sex, restraints, blood, head injury, kidnap/hostage, alcohol, gunshot, murder
a/n: reader is a psychotic murderer. this is purely a work of fiction and if you or someone you know are experiencing homicidal urges, seek professional help immediately.
-
The room was filled with tension and an overwhelming sense of despair but no one said a word. No more hellish arguing, no irritatingly random facts, not even discussion to solve the case. Everyone worked on their angle of the case and despite the fact that no one would dare admit it, they all somewhat hoped that Y/N wouldn't be caught. Some hoped more than others but deep down they all felt a twinge of it. JJ walked into the room and spoke, startling the team and ripping them away from their thoughts and guilt.
"I've given a picture of her to the media, it's being circulated."
It pained her-- almost physically-- to have to hand over a picture of someone who'd been like family for so many goddamn years. She felt that she was betraying Y/N and that made her feel indescribably horrible.
"Now what? We just wait?" Morgan seemed to be the only one that really did want to stop her. Maybe he was angry that he hadn't seen the signs. Maybe he was angry that his best friend had just... left. Maybe he was angry that she lost herself so much. Maybe he blamed himself.
"What else is there to do Derek? Call me bad at my job- Hell, call all of us bad at our jobs but we can't profile her. Admit it, we're all biased. Too biased to think straight but there's no way we can give this case to another unit." Emily had always been so close to Y/N and was able to open up to her. Something she couldn't bring herself to do with most people. But you weren't most people, were you? Even with what Y/N could be doing, Emily doesn't have it in her to hate her. The sadness she was feeling must have shown because JJ squeezed Emily's hand and gave her a weak smile. And for the millionth fucking time, everyone stayed silent. Not even Spencer was saying anything and he is not the type to stay quiet this long. Believe it or not, that was actually one of the things Y/N had loved about him. Everyone rolled their eyes or cut him off but she loved to listen to him ramble. To everyone's surprise, she was always genuinely interested in what he had to say and that was one of the first things that made him fall in love with her. She never invalidated him or called him strange. Sometimes when she had a nightmare or experienced anxiety she'd even ask him talk to her about a random topic so she could focus on his voice until she calmed down. 
"Your voice is like... honey. In my ears." Spencer wanted to scream with emotional torture building up as he remembered how she'd laughed when she said that and how he'd had smiled at her with nothing but adoration and love.
"That seems unsanitary Y/N."
"You're such a smartass."
"Am I?"
"Definitely. But it's ok. I love that about you. I love you."
"I love you too."
She'd planted a sweet kiss on his lips before laying her head on his lap and listening to the rest of his topic rant. Still basking in the memory of Y/N, a sharp pain entered his hand and he realized he'd dug his crescent nails into the palm of his hand. And in that moment, he couldn't help but think about how much he'd love to be holding her hand right now.
"Guys!"
They all turned to Garcia, the source of the exclaim, who was walking in with Hotch.
"A bartender downtown says he just saw a woman matching Y/N's description leave with another man."
"She's chosen another victim? Here?" Rossi asked with confusion written on his face. "Up until now she's only killed 2 people per state and knowing the BAU has been called in, why is she staying here?"
JJ stepped in,
"This place is special to her, she has history here. Y/N must have an endgame but what is it?"
"The profile says she'll take as many people as she can with her. Probably suicide by cop."
Derek had accepted the situation. So why did that hurt to say?
"Rossi will go to the bar and talk to witnesses. Reid and Prentiss, stay here with Garcia. JJ and Morgan, PD is surveilling the radius around the bar and setting up roadblocks, come with me to help them."
"There's no way I'm staying here." Spencer objected.
Stay here and do nothing? Like hell.
"Neither am I, what the hell Hotch?"
"Reid, Prentiss that's an order. You're not going."
They both started to argue again but Hotch had already left. JJ and Derek followed and Rossi stood up with to leave for the bar. Apologetic looks were shot at Spencer and Emily because they all know why they have to stay behind. They're the two closest to her, the two that wouldn't be able to keep their emotions from affecting them on the field. And with that, off they all went.
-
Y/N's POV
-
The second you get to his hotel room, your lips crash against the handsome stranger. Your next victim. He pushes you against the wall and you moan loudly. His hands roam your body and you pull back.
"Hey... Go lie on the bed and wait for me."
Panting and staring at you with lust, he complies. Of course he does.
For God's sake. This man doesn't even know your name.
To be fair, Spence didn't even know Maeve's last name. And he still chose her.
You walk over to the eager man on the bed. Your hot breath on his neck, you lean close and whisper to him.
"We're going to do things my way."
He moans and you fight the urge to roll your eyes at him in disgust.
"Yes ma'am."
Taking out a rope, you tie him up and you know he thinks you're just a kinky slut. That's what they all see, isnt it? Suddenly something roars inside of you. Forgetting your usual routine, you pick up the lamp on the bedside table and smash it against him. Crimson stains the bed and you drop it, shocked by yourself. Yes, you've done worse. But it isn't the act that's sending regret and nausea through your body, it's that you're devolving. You're losing control.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Starting to panic, you take the unconscious man and check for a pulse. He's still alive.
Giving him a shower (much to your disdain) and change of clothes, you put his arm over your shoulder and walk out of the room giggling as you pass one of the housekeepers.
"Baby, you're such a lightweight! Let's get you out of here."
The housekeeper barely gives you a second glace but when she enters the room of the man you've taken, she starts to scream and you know you're running out of time.
Run. Drag him. Just hurry the hell up.
Finally at his car, you take him to the small studio you own downtown. No one can find you here. It's been yours for nearly a decade and you aren't stupid enough to have told anyone about it or put it under your name. Granted, you'd never thought you'd have to use it to hide out from the feds, it's still useful. After taking a look at the brightly colored wall in your basement, you feel a sense of sudden pain race through your veins. You used to be normal. You used to have a life.
-
The man is chained up, gagged, and bleeding but you can't even remember doing anything to him. What you need is numbness. They thought the other bodies were bad? Wait til they fucking see what you do with him. Pain shoots through your skull again and you wince and fall to the ground.
"Fuck. I- I need a drink." you stammer to no one in particular but yourself.
A wig and sunglasses make you look different enough from the woman being circulated to take the bus to a nearby gas station. Walking down the liquor aisle of the store, you hum a song to yourself and let the AC blow on your skin. Vision blurred, you bite your lip and taste the unmistakable strong metallic taste of your own blood. Still humming that fucking song. The song you'd danced to with Spencer in your living room before you'd made love for the first time.
"You cannot be serious!"
"Y/N! I can't dance."
"Oh come on. How bad can you be?  Seriously, the songs going to end and it'll be too late."
"Yes, that's what I'm hoping for."
"Psh. Don't tell me Doctor Reid is scared to sway around a little."
"Shut up."
"Make me." you laughed.
With one playful look, you dared him to shut you up in the most passionate, sensual way he could. But instead he put his warm hands on your hips and swayed to the song. You melted into his touch and your breaths synced as you laid your head on his chest. His heart beat was steady and calming. One hand reached for yours and intertwined before twirling you and pulling you back in to dance. He'd held you until it was over and brought your chin up to his face. The kiss was so intense, so loving. He tilted his head and pulled you tighter to get as close as he could to you. His tongue met yours and your mouths bathed in each other's taste. Running a hand through your hair, you'd started to unbutton his shirt. He'd been taken aback at first but then picked you up and placed you in the bedroom ever so softly. Placing gentle kisses all over each other's bodies and undressing for the other, you made raw, breathtaking love for the first of many times.
"Hey lady! Get out of the way!"
"W-What?..." You tremble and realize you're crying on the floor of the aisle.
"I said get out of the damn way, some of us got places to be."
The man is clearly batshit drunk. Probably here to buy his next fix. Shaking and letting yourself actually feel your emotions, you stand and use the wall to balance yourself.  The man that yelled at you curses to himself as his phone rings and he picks it up.
"Hell do you want? Thought you were still mad about Andrea."
Andrea? Mad about Andrea. Another cheater. Another liar. Right? It has to be.
Before you can process what you're doing-- how irrational it is-- the gunshot rings through the store and everyone turns to see the man before you on the ground, screaming and spitting blood. A mix of a laugh and a sob escapes you and you scream.
"Everyone on the fucking ground! If I see any cellphones, I'll shoot you just like this dickhead. Got it?"
Frightened people drop to the ground and you start to yell, incoherent bullshit again. You smash the freezer glass behind you and open an expensive bottle of bourbon.
You practically whimper having to take deep gasps in between words, but in a somehow still confident, fearless tone.
"Now let's have some fucking fun."
-
But what you didn't know was that the cashier in the front had sent a text 5 minutes earlier.
Call 911! The girl from the news, the Queen of Hearts. She's in the store.
What you didn't know was that the woman that recieved the text had called immediately.
911, what's your emergency?
What you didn't know was that the BAU was on their way.
-
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woolieshubris · 3 years
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Aquarium Date Fic !! Kagehina, but kag!asd. Kageyama pov. 2k words, oneshot. Tw : Sensory Overload! (it's present throughout the whole fic) Made partially for @spixi and partially so i could prove to myself that i can If there's a typo no there isnt <3 If you are an IRL this post doesn't exist <3
I typed out my message and pressed send, throwing my phone onto my bed.
Maybe I should go grab a snack or something... I think to myself, when I suddenly hear my phone buzzing against my pillow, and I dive to grab it. He replied to my message. That was fast.
Me : Hey we should go to the aquarium tomorrow.
Hinata : Okay :D sounds good 2 me!
Quickly, with my face quickly going beet red, I drop my phone and go to the kitchen to grab something to stuff my face with. I'm shaking, but as long as I walk quietly, I doubt my family will notice I'm even out of my room.
How should I reply? A thumbs up might be good, but it might be too cold. Any other reply is probably too much... Whatever. I'll go with the thumbs up.
I head back into my room and pick up my phone, typing a thumbs up emoji before covering my face again.
F/ck, I need to come up with something to wear, don't I..?
---
I arrive at the train station, feeling like I probably packed too much. I brought a backpack with an extra phone battery, 2 charging cables, (because Hinata has an apple phone,) and a bunch of snacks, as well as a water bottle.
Did I put on deodorant today??? I can't tell... If so, I'm probably already sweating through it. I start to feel sick to my stomach, but I don't have time to finish that thought when I spot Hinata walking in from a distance. He seems to be wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, and suddenly I feel overdressed in my jeans.
"Hey! Don't worry, I already bought my train ticket. You ready to go?" He asked while walking up to me. He didn't bring as much as a backpack, and I'm suddenly relieved that I brought so much.
"Yeah. It's coming in 2 minutes. I half expected you to be late." I stated, before realizing what I said. Sh/t! That was rude, wasn't it? I have to be nicer. Ugh. Hinata punctures my worries with a laugh.
"I'm not late that often, am I?" He states. This makes me feel a little worse about my comment.
"Hm. Just often enough." I state, carefully picking my words. I can't backtrack now, but I can try to redirect my speech to seem less biting.
"You only say I'm late because of last time!" He keeps laughing, keeping the mood light. I wish I could speak as easily as him.
"And possibly the time before that?" I reply. This is probably what he wants me to say.
"Shhhhh. What matters is I got here on time AND I have my ticket ready. Don't worry, I also brought enough for the aquarium ticket too!" He states, smiling. His smile is adorable, almost cute enough to distract me from what he just said.
"Oh, I was planning on paying for that." I reply without thinking.
"Ehh? Do you owe me or something? Should I be asking you for money?"
"No, no. I just thought...?" I'm really confused now. I was the one who asked HIM out, right? He knows how these things usually go, right? Maybe he just doesn't know...
"By the way, where are the others? I thought they would have arrived by now."
The... others? What others? The team??? This is a date, right? Wait...
I DIDN'T TELL HIM. I DIDN'T TELL HIM THAT THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A DATE. F/CK.
"I didn't invite them." I respond, my subconscious taking care of what my brain is trying to catch up to.
"You really find them that annoying? I know Tsukki and Yamaguchi can be a bit much sometimes but...?" Confusion flashes across Hinata's face.
"I just wanted to hang out with you. Is that a crime?" I answered before my brain could filter out that last comment. It would be useful in getting him to stop pushing, but it's far too rude for a date. Not that Hinata knows that last part anyway. I wish I could take my words back.
"You should be honored that I said yes in the first place." Hinata teases, my face turning red.
If only he knew what he said yes to.
---
Hinata and I managed to keep from fighting on the 30 minute train ride, which was a feat in and of itself.
I can't ruin this date.
"Hey, Kageyama? It looks like there is a student discount, and it also seems like there is a discount for groups. What do you think would be cheaper?" Hinata elbowed me, bringing me back into focus. I look up. He and I are both equally sh/t at math.
"Uh... Let's do the group discount? I'll pay for it. You can pay me back later." As if I'd let him do that. Hinata bought my excuse though.
"Okay! I can buy you lunch or something." He quickly walked up to the desk, and I followed him. "Can we have 2 tickets?"
Wait. Wasn't I supposed to buy them? If I was the one paying, aren't I supposed to ask? Is Hinata planning on paying???
"Oh, sorry, He'll be paying!" Hinata stated, gesturing towards me.
"Yes. Here's the cash." I quickly press down the bills that were almost getting damp from stress. I had already looked online at ticket prices, and made sure to set aside the perfect amount of money for two tickets in my pockets.
"Great! Let's head inside!" Hinata grabs the tickets, holding mine for me. We go up to the metal detector and I get my bag checked. Hinata, possibly because he has my ticket, or possibly out of kindness, waits for me.
"Can you hand me my ticket real quick?" I ask, throwing my bag back onto my shoulder.
"Sure, let's go in." We walk into the main lobby area, waiting to get our tickets checked. The aquarium is beautiful, and oh so huge. The high ceilings, and smell of saltwater, the giant whale sculpture that I can only assume is life size, and the concrete flooring, these things that on a glance are grand, start to give me a pit in my stomach.
"Kageyama! Come on!"
I look at the horizon line, and recenter myself. A quick yet deep breath and I'm ready to go. I walk up, and turn in my ticket in order to get a wristband.
"Kageyama?" Hinata states, causing me to look over at him. "Can you help me put this on? I can never do it by myself." He holds up the paper slip.
"Yeah, sure." I say without thinking. I wrap it around his wrist.
"Hey, make sure not to make it too tight. They are a pain to get off if you don't give them enough breathing room." I nod my head, and make sure to give him a gap.
"There you go." I let go of his arm, realizing just then how warm my hand is. I can feel my face getting warm too.
"Okay, let me do you now." He quickly fits the bracelet to my arm. "It's perfect! Let's go inside. I wanna see this penguin exhibit that I've been hearing so much about. I keep seeing ads for it and I've wanted to see it forever-"
Hinata kept talking. I don't think he ever stopped talking. It's nice though. It makes it easier to not focus on the huge building, or the shifting lighting, or the crowds, or the ambient music that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Yup. I'm not focusing on any of that. Not. At. All.
My feet keep walking, despite my worrying. Hinata eventually slows, stopping before the largest piece of glass I've ever seen in my entire life. A giant tank filled with fish. The glass is taller than my house, longer than 3 busses, and blue and endless enough to make my heart stop in my chest.
F/ck.
Hinata turns around, and finds a bench to sit on, patting the seat next to him, while staring into the blue void. You feel like you have to bow down to its majesty. It is terrifyingly blue, terrifyingly enormous. I have never feared the ocean before, but I fear it in this very moment. A spotted whale shark swims past, paying no attention to the many people standing right against the glass.
"I could sit here forever." Hinata practically whispers. The giant tank orders your complete and utter silence. Even amongst a giant crowd, even with the littlest of children, everyone is quiet. The large speakers playing calming bass tones over the crowd of people, barely vibrating the floor.
"Hm. Me too." I reply. I could sit here forever, I feel like I already have sat here for infinity. Like its presence is something I could never escape. The pit in my stomach grows further. I break eye contact with the tank, reaching in my backpack. The zipper can barely be heard over the ambient noise of people shuffling. Was there always that sound? I bend down to look in my backpack. What was I going to get?
"Do you want a snack? I brought some granola bars." I state as I feel Hinata's eyes looking down at me.
"Actually, that sounds really good right now. I was just thinking about food." He states, bringing his head down to meet mine. I rustle around in my bag, and grab out a bar. It is barely bent. Passing it to him over my shoulder, he grabs it and unwraps it, sitting on the bench with his legs crossed.
"Sooo, what exhibit did you want to see?" He asks, taking a bite after.
"What do you mean?" I reply, choking down the pit in my stomach.
"Like... you invited me out here. So, what was it that you wanted to see?" He takes another bite.
"Uh. I just like fish, I guess." I look over at the tank, trying to avoid his gaze. I doubt he'll buy it, but it doesn't really matter.
"Me too! Let's go into the jellyfish room next? I can see the entrance to the penguins here and it looks packed. Explains why it's so much emptier here." He set his feet back on the ground and stood up, waiting for me to join him.
I leaned back down to zip up my bag, and we walked through a doorway into a smaller, darker room. Blacklights lit up the moon jellies as they calmly glided across the tank. Hinata seemed to drift off, but I didn't mind. It would probably be a good idea to be apart for a bit. I could calm down and collect myself quickly.
I walk up to the tiny seahorse exhibit, and look into the tank. I can't see them at all... I thought, when suddenly, I felt my forehead bump up against the glass.
How did I get close enough to bump up against it?
I go to look for a wall to lean up against. Leaning against something should help keep the pit down. I do a quick glance around the room. There are no walls. Only glass, and only fish. I hate fish.
Taking yet another deep and quick breath, I go back to meet up with Hinata. He was looking at a different kind of seahorse.
"Okay, I think I'm ready to go to the next section now." Hinata said, glancing away from the fish and over to the exit door. I nodded, and lightened up the scowl that was forming on my face. I didn't even notice it was happening until I felt my eyebrows aching from the effort. I just hope he didn’t notice.
The exit of the jellyfish room led to a balcony overlooking a lower floor. This must be the back of the aquarium. Below us there seemed to be a small cafe overlooking the sea.
"Here, let's go get some food! I can pay you back for the ticket that way." Hinata pulled my arm over to the down escalator. I step on right after him, and look down at the cafe.
It was very large, and honestly reminded me more of a cafeteria than a cafe, with lots of seating. After we reach the end of the escalator, he walked over to stand in line and stare at the menu. Looking for a good seat, I grab one right by the large window facing the water and set down my bag. I pull out the small amounts of snacks I've already brought to claim the seat and go over to Hinata.
"Hey, so I'm thinking about getting a sandwich. What do you want?" He stood, facing the menu.
"Honestly, just get me whatever you think I'd like." I state. I can't focus on the menu right now; I just don't have the energy to.
"Hmmm... Okay!" Hinata walks up to the register, while I go back to our seats. I'll probably regret that choice very soon, but I have backup food anyways, and I'm sure he'll eat whatever I don't, so it's not like the food will be wasted.
---
What the hell did he order??
I look at my plate, not quite understanding what the dish is even supposed to be.
"You said to get you whatever." He said with a smile, taking a bite of his sandwich right after.
"Whatever I might LIKE. What even is this?" I poked my dish with a spork, and it seemed to swallow it whole.
"No idea. I just pointed at the dish in the buffet." He shrugged. "I thought it might be funny, but it's less funny than I hoped. I expected more of a reaction." He looked up with the last sentence, making eye contact with me, which I broke a moment after.
"Sorry."
"Sorry? What are you saying sorry for? Since when did you say sorry anyways?" There was slight worry behind his voice, though it was hard to tell through his wide grin. To avoid answering, I quickly shove the food in my face. It's not great, but it's not really all that bad either. It's a little cold from sitting out.
"It's.... good." I say with a stuffed face. This causes him to start laughing again.
"You look super angry! That's the sort of reaction I was expecting." When did I even start scowling again? When I took a bite of the food, probably.
"You try it." I say, stealing a chip from his bag.
"I was the one who bought it anyway. I was half expecting you to make me eat it." Am I really that predictable? He took a bite, and made a variety of expressions, before settling on confusion.
"I wouldn't call it good. Maybe okay? It's definitely at least okay." He nodded to himself, taking a sip of water after.
"So, where to after this?" I ask.
---
We ended up on the train home while the sun was setting. It's almost to our stop. It felt so short, but we ended up hanging out for 5 hours. I almost forgot that I wanted it to be a date. I had to give up on that a while ago.
"Hey, we have to get off soon, get ready." I say, tapping his knee.
"Hm? Oh." He wakes up, blinking a few times and leaning forwards in his seat. He glances out the window.
The train stops, and we walk off onto the station platform.
"See you at practice tomorrow!" He says with a large smile, walking backwards towards the exit.
"See you." I reply, gripping the shoulder straps of my bag. I looked down
"I had a nice time on our date!" and with the last word, he turned around, running out of the station.
My head immediately turned upwards to where he was, as I feel my blood starting to rush to my face.
He... HE KNEW?!?
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antiloreolympus · 3 years
Text
A Bunch of Anti LO Asks
1. I have a lot to say about lo’s writing so here we go:
1) there is so little foreshadowing. I can’t even name one instance other then Kronos being reawakened but that was a literal direct shot of it instead of it being hinted at. There’s very little to none at all ( correct me if I’m wrong.) 2) The pacing??? This all happens in 2 weeks but so much has happened and it’s all happened so slow it feels like it’s been at least a year ( in universe time.) 3) I feel like this has been said enough but using trauma as a way to move the plot along is literally the laziest thing I’ve ever seen.
I’m sorry if this is like hella stupid or something like that
2. i dont get why the writing in LO refuses to let persephone be dark and accepting of death/punishment, because isn't that what you need to show she's going to be a good queen? she seems terrified of the concept and keeps trying to find ways to reverse them, which goes against the whole point of ruling over the dead and even something in myth hades DID NOT like, so its weird to keep making her the opposite of what she's supposed to be? shes just making the case she's not right for the role?
3. apollo/hyacinthus is having such a big resurgence right now that i dont get why rachel didnt include them as friends/a couple persephone cares about and, when hyacinthus dies, have persephone resurrect him. not only would it show her kind nature and sway over hades, but it would also be some actual positive canon gay representation that has legit myth backing. RS obviously got most of her takes from tumblr, yet couldnt take the pro apollo/hyacintus take too? is her heterosexuality that strong :/
4. the whole r*pe plotline was BY RACHEL HERSELF said to not be included, she promised as much, and readers were excited they were finally able to see a depiction of HxP without sexual assault, only for it to turn out she was lying with only a measly "this might be bad uwu" warning on the ep, triggering many people in the process. then she tried to backtrack and claim it was a #MeToo moment, and that irl victims were haters for calling it out. That speaks to who she really is, and it's not pretty.
5. lo hades isnt even cute tbh. what exactly makes him so desirable to make all these women fight over him for? his design is basic (and kinda antisemitic, a guy with a gigantic nose controlling the media and all the banks/money? rachel please), hes not charming or funny, he talks over all the women in his life, never listens to being rightfully called out, he never apologizes or does any self reflection, etc. hes just awful??? like even by an uwu hes misunderstood POV hes just a boring jerk?
6. I think the reason Punderworld or HXP Ficlets doesn't get the amount of scrutiny LO does (and PW is def LO's rival, WT has begged to Feature it several times) is because they had the good sense to never get high and mighty about their depictions, something RS absolutely does all the time. In fact the PW creator constantly promotes over myth comics and loves other takes on the mythos, while RS flips out unless its exactly how she sees it. How she survived school w/ that attitude we'll never know
7. also if demeter was as evil in LO as they want her to be then why would she ever let her emotionally unstable child out into the city with no supervision and no way to contact her? Why would she be going through all this trouble including putting her own welfare into question like trying to keep persephone out of harms' way via the cruelty of thee olympian men and out of jail (WHERE SHE BELONGS) if she's the big bad? Why even make her abusive and evil to begin with? Can't Persephone love both?
8. even if lo needs a villain (which it doesnt but w/e) must it be apollo? or leto? or minthe? or anyone for that matter? if you need some ~drama~ just use eris? she doesn't need some tragic backstory, she's an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. you could so easily have her basically be like TMZ causing discord through her popular blog and causing shit because she can. LO shoots itself in the foot by trying too hard to be deep and thought provoking when its as deep as a puddle.
9. less persephone/hades and more dionysos/ariadne: whats more romantic? a man kidnapping his underage niece and her friends crying themselves to death over it (cyane) or ariadne being dumped by her first boyfriend only to come back with some serious bling and a hot divine partner that is at least the physical equiv of her own age? (dionysos is usually depicted as mentally/physically quite young, so the godly age gap is less creepy/statutory-y)
10. vis a vis the sexual assault anon: it is also something that happens with horrific frequency to trans people as well. the number of trans reports of sexual assault that get thrown out per year by sample size is almost 5x the amount of cis female ones. LO already has some weird terfy undertones with the fertility thing, but just because it happens less (or rather, is reported less) by cisgender men doesnt mean it happens the most to cis women.
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mangop1e · 3 years
Text
my Thoughts about mcc14, because this is my blog and the official year of no cringe (in that i will no longer regard my interests as cringe and enjoy them wholeheartedly and post about them if i want)
overall !! it was a really fun event, i was watching blue bats punz pov and they popped off so it was a really good watch for me, the updates to the games were sick as hell and i cannot wait to see these get more refined as we go along plus see what they have in store for bingo and sands of time
putting everything else below the cut for the sake of all the mutuals i have on here that have never interacted with a mcyt in their life! 
so. will preface this by saying i’ve watched every mcc live starting with mcc9 and am . just very very into this tournament, i’ll probably do a little analysis post next mcc because i just find it all very fun !! and tumblr is like a void i can scream into and sometimes it screams back so it’s the perfect place to let myself ramble. that being said, here’s my thoughts on this mcc from the blue bats punz pov, with vague knowledge of what happened in a few other povs
build mart: so sue me, i’m a build mart fan. the new map build is INCREDIBLE and i love the choice of elytras rather than the scuffed boats!! the new addition of the golden build is really fun too! not something that could necessarily be changed but build mart is definitely a killer for teams that don’t have good comms and coordination, and having it as a first game can really shake some teams and cause a drop in morale that could affect the rest of their performance in the event. overall, though? im loyal to build mart and i think it only got better with the updates
tgttosawaf: i love how pedantically long that acronym is <3 i think some of the changes really threw players into the deep end, that one round where they had to break the wool in the targets to get through especially, and terra swoop force Definitely threw some players that are otherwise cracked for a loop, especially if they were unfamiliar with the map, but this one was also super fun to watch!! definitely a good game for the first half of the event
sky battle: at long last, sky battle returns <3 as a shameless inniter sky battle is one of my favourite games simply because i Know tommy will always pop off, but it’s also such a fun twist on classic minigames like sky wars and a faster version of skyblockle done super well! i like the new map layout a ton as well, the little towers in the middle ring plus the structure of the innermost ring made for some really interesting plays all around. this game’s another one that can go south really fast if your team comms aren’t great, but definitely more forgiving than build battle, and a hell of a lot more adrenaline-inducing!! in terms of the updates i think this one was probably one of the best, tied with build mart.
survival games: survival games was CRAZY i do think this is one where you need to get good rng with your loot pickups as well as have good team coordination but it’s definitely a really fun pvp game!! only thing i will say is it can be a bit bland next to the rest of the crazy games in mcc but it’s definitely a classic and depending on how its played (cough red rabbits cough) can definitely turn things wayyyy around for a team!! very high stakes in a fun way
hole in the wall: god :sob: the glitch. ohhhh hbomb you and your glitchy ways. this glitch was definitely a new one compared to the usual “spam-space-bar-and-pray” glitch that our dearest tommyinnit has taken advantage of before, but i honestly can’t really blame him too much for using it? it did give aqua an advantage but it’s only slightly different from falsesymmetry using the spam-space glitch to win a few rounds of hitw in a more recent mcc (would have to double check which one, but i do remember hbomb taking note of this when he was reviewing mcc vods the day after). hole in the wall has been a glitchy bastard for as long as it’s been in mcc and it was truly hilarious to see hbomb clip through walls, so - all in all i think if the glitch could be fixed that’d be great but it was still a fun watch! also, pete zahutt is CRACKED.
ace race: whoo boy. ace race. honest opinion? i think the map is REALLY cool and has a lot of potential, but there was a lot of confusion and bugs that need to be fixed for next time - the fact that the players could reset back to a previous checkpoint, the general confusion over where to go which cld mean they need to add more directional arrows. overall i’m really really excited to see how people will perform on this map when they’re more familiar with it and some of the kinks have been worked out on the developer end. i do think scott had a Huge advantage here and it was really prominent due to the fact that this was a new map for everyone aside from him, albeit him seeing a much earlier version that wasn’t the same as the version that existed in the event, and it would definitely be wise of noxcrew and the developing team in the future to be more aware of how much involvement scott has in the gameplay side of testing. the general confusion and checkpoint resetting also did Not help anyone and i do think a few teams really lost out this event because of the issues with ace race, but this map has a ton of potential and im really excited to see what they do with it in the future.
battle box: oooo battle box !! this one didn’t really leave too big of an impression on me but the new map was definitely interesting!! the fact that the way to get to the middle was a bit unclear was ,, definitely interesting to watch :sob: but you can’t go wrong with battle box to be honest. solid team pvp game!
parkour tag: PARKOUR TAG!!! having this as the final game was so fun :] the map they had this time was complicated which definitely comes with its pros and cons: pros being that it creates potential for a lot of really interesting routes and unique usage of the area and environment, and cons being that it can feel really cluttered and overwhelming especially when its your first time playing. overall i liked the fact that it was busier but i think striking a better balance between full and barren could really elevate parkour tag from a good game to a great game
dodgebolt: blue bats </3 they had a fantastic run in the games and had an awful dodgebolt and sometimes that’s how it shakes down !! i always always love the unpredictability to the final winner that dodgebolt gives - the first place team pointswise isnt guaranteed a win, reverse sweeps have happened multiple times in the past, and dodgebolt is always nail-bitingly exciting to watch!
misc thoughts: i do think aqua had an advantage but from the sounds of things scott and noxcrew will be taking genuine criticism into account for next time and have learned from this event, i DONT think that removing parkour warrior was unfair because it wasn’t an event that noxcrew could ever successfully balance by making it hard enough to not have the same guy dominating every event and creating a gap, especially when played later, that no other players had HOPE of reducing and i think parkour tag was a really really fun alternative to it especially since runner and hunter play to diff strengths of the team members and it has a bit more strategy to it plus team comms than parkour warrior did, and i think build mart is a good game and i WILL die on this hill
if you read this far, fantastic, you madlad, i appreciate you
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horansqueen · 4 years
Text
You & Me : chapter 40
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
READ AM CONVERSATIONS AGAIN ON WATTPAD HERE
- notes: i hope this isnt too much and that youre still enjoying this story! its almost over tho, so if you have any request please send them asap! I have a few more chapters planned but I could always add a few filler chapters if you guys send me ideas. so yea, thank you!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : here are the requests i used. im sorry about the Julia one, they couldnt have a very big and deep talk because it was Liv’s chapter but I still wanted to add her in because i really like her :) hope its okay!
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TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE
Chapter 40 : Her chapter
OLIVIA
May 7th, 2018
It was quite late but we were both packing our things in silence. I had waited last minute to do it while Niall had to wait until he was back from his concert, which resulted in us doing it together. I missed going to see him play and sing and the thought made something stir in my stomach. I couldn't believe I stopped myself from going to see him do what he loved the most to do in the entire universe just because I was scared of what some losers could write in an online article. The more I thought about it, the more I found that completely ridiculous. I was about to mention something about it when I heard Niall talk, breaking the silence.
"Oh, I totally forgot to give you that." He leaned closer to me and handed me a small box that was wrapped in pretty pink paper. I frowned but took it in my hand anyway as he shrugged. "A fan told me to give it to you. Apparently, she was really sad when we broke up."
I stared at the small box on y hand and licked my lips. I knew most of it were just rumors, but I also knew that some people believe everything they'd read online. Still, this time, I couldn't blame them since it was the truth. I quickly unwrapped it and grabbed the note first, reading it out loud.
"We thought Niall was the biggest One Direction fan in the world, but we've seen you multiple times with random One Direction merch and we thought you may enjoy this."
I frowned more but when I saw the necklace, I let out a louder laughter. It made Niall frown too and I looked up at him with a smirk, bringing my hand closer to him. Around my fingers was hanging a necklace with his face on it. It seemed to be very old merch, probably from 2011, and I saw him grimace.
"No, Liv!" he whined as I put it around my neck and I chuckled again.
"Hey, it's a gift!" I argued. "Besides, I didn't have this one. I love it."
"You're such a pain." he joked, making me laugh this time.
I didn't see it coming but he literally jumped on me and I fell on the bed with a high scream. He pinned me down and started tickling me, holding both my wrists with one hands as the fingers of the other squeezed my waist, making my body jerk.
"Noooo! Niall stop!"
I squirmed, kicking him and hitting him without really knowing or controlling what I was doing. It took him a few seconds to stop and he stared down at me with a smirk as my lips were parted. I was panting low, not even able to enjoy his body on top of mine.
"Please, let me wear the necklace." I almost begged in a low voice.
His eyes roamed on me for about a minute and finally, the left corner of his lips raised up and he nodded once before moving closer to kiss me.
I had decided to follow him in Spain even if I had no idea when I'd have to fly back to California. We still had a few episodes to film but I was hoping Niall could come with me. He only had a few concerts left before he'd be off for a few weeks and even if he had to fly to the UK at the end of the month, I was thinking he could spend almost two weeks with me. I knew all we did was live in our luggage, going from airports to airports but at the same time, we were together and it's really all that mattered to me.
His lips moving slowly against mine made my heart twist in my chest. I loved him so much, I always would and I knew it. I was starting to trust him again, so much that the tiny ball of fear that seemed to live permanently in my stomach was now gone. I had decided that I wanted to live this plenty, to not hold grudges of fears that came from our past. I wanted to move forward and I knew that we had both changed for the better.
May 8th, 2018
We woke up early to catch our flight and I put my sunglasses on because I knew I looked exhausted. They were heart shaped but were black instead of my usual pink or purple ones for the simple reason I thought it would be less obvious to the people around that I had puffy and tired eyes. I didn't mean travelling if it meant being with Niall, but that didn't mean it was it wasn't sucking up all my juice.
I didn't expect the airport to be crowded but it was, and I moved my head down, trying not to catch anyone's attention. The fans started screaming, the paps started yelling at Niall to look their way, and when one of them moved too close to us, I felt my heart jump in my chest and without thinking, I grabbed Niall's hand. I realized my mistake and quickly let go of it only to feel his fingers tighten around mine. I could swear the flashes became even more intense right after and I glanced at Niall, licking my lips as I heard similar questions being yelled around us.
"Are you two back together?"
"Did you cheat on Dylan and Heidi together?"
"Are all the rumors true?"
We both held each other's hand tighter at the sound of all these questions being thrown at us and we kept walking as they followed us. I could feel my heart beat so hard in my chest that I felt like it was about to escape. I swallowed hard trying to relax a bit as I kept glancing at my boyfriend.
"Does that mean we're official?" Niall asked me, squeezing my fingers even more after he stopped walking, and moved closer to make sure I was the only one who heard.
I turned his way and licked my lips, trying to ignore the flashes and the sounds of the cameras. I was not used to that much attention, or at least, not as intense as it was being at that moment, but even if it was a bit intimidating, I was not scared.
"Do you want us to be?"
His gaze moved on my face as he studied me before sending me a fond smile. "Yes, I do."
I sent him a gentle smile that turned into a very big one. "We're official then."
"Fuck yes." he whispered, making me chuckle.
He pulled on my hand and we started walking again but as we were about to pass the gate, he quickly and roughly moved our hands up to show our intertwined fingers and it surprised me so much I felt my heart skip a few beats.
"FUCK YES!" he repeated in a yell, making me burst into laughter this time.
If I wasn't sure Niall loved me, I definitely was now. The fact that he literally told the world we were together proved much more than anyone could believe. I knew he was private, and so was I. I also knew he didn't like his private life to be in the spotlight, or talked about, or known, and him showing everyone, fans and paps included, that we were an item by throwing our hands up just showed me how committed he was. People would talk about us and the wrong things we did to Dylan and Heidi, people would definitely criticize us as individuals but also as a couple and I knew that for a while, people would stop talking about his music and my tv show only to blab shit about our love, but he thought it was still worth it and even if I was a bit surprised, it touched me more than I thought it would. And just like that, the blinded trust I had for Niall until he broke up with me was back, and I knew that this time, it would be different.
                                                          ---
We took a nap when we arrived at the hotel and when I woke up, it was the middle of the afternoon and Niall's arm was wrapped around me as he was laying on his stomach. I ran my fingertips on his arm and reached his back, making him groan slightly. He looked so good, his eyes closed, his bottom lip a bit over his upper one in a cute pout and his hair a bit messy. It made something come alive inside me and I realized that we went through so many things to get back pretty much where we used to be. The difference was us and the way we had grown, and I knew that what we lived when we were away from each other was needed to have the relationship we had at that very moment.
I tried not to wake him up and sat up slowly and gently in bed, rubbing my eyes and yawning before grabbing my phone. I knew he didn't want me to but I searched for his name and mine in google and a bunch of pictures from the airport appeared. My lips curled more at the picture of us walking away while Niall held our hands up together. I stared at it for a few minutes and pressed my lips together, feeling suddenly ecstatic and a bit dizzy. It was really happening. I was back with Niall and we were happy together. In all the months we were apart, I had wished for it, but I never thought it would really happen at some point.
"What are you looking at?" he mumbled low, taking me out of my thoughts. "You're smiling."
I turned to him and my excited smile turned into a fond one. His eyes were half-closed and his face was still pressed on the pillow. In fact, I was pretty sure he hadn't moved at all and looking at him made something stir in my stomach. There was nothing I loved more than waking up with him, except maybe falling asleep in his arms.
I tilted my head and let the left corner of my lips raise up before turning the screen his way. It took him a few seconds to let what he was seeing sink in and he smiled too.
"Oh look, that's us telling the world we're back together." he pointed out slowly and in a low tone, an amused smile curling his lips. "I'm sorry, I'm never that impulsive normally. But I've been waiting for that for a while." He paused and I felt his arm hold my waist tighter before he squirmed a bit and put his head on my lap. "It's okay though, because this is meant to last, so everyone may as well know now. What do ya say?"
I brought my hand to his head and ran my fingers in his hair gently, making his eyes flutter. "I agree." I whispered, making him smile more.
"We're gonna get married and have a few kids. And dogs, too. I love dogs."
This time, I chuckled and licked my lips. He had mentioned marriage a few times in the past weeks and I loved it. He used to be so scared of commitment and the future and now he was literally planning it for us.
"You know what we should do now?" he asked, making me shake my head. "Stay in bed all day. Order food, watch tv, and make out. Champagne and you. That sounds perfect."
I smiled widely. "Gotta celebrate the fact that we're official, now."
"Damn right."
After a few hours, we were done eating and the bottle of champagne was empty. We were still laying in bed but I had stopped following the movie and kept staring at the ceiling. What took me out of my thoughts, once again, was Niall's voice. I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses, and he raised his eyebrows at me.
"Mm?" I asked, making him laugh.
He stopped the movie quickly before grabbing the sheets of the bed, pulling them over our heads and once again locking us together in our safe place. I smiled at him and turned my body his way as he did the same. It was always a bit stifling to stay under the covers for a while but at the same time, it made me feel secure like nothing else did.
"How hard did that champagne hit?" he asked with a chuckle.
"Mm, i'm tipsy." I admitted, laughing too.
"Me too." he let out, his eyes roaming on my face. "You know I want to marry you for real, right? I want to promise to be yours forever. I want to literally show everyone that no one else will ever mean to me as much as you mean to me."
"I want it too. I want to be your wife. Niall I want it more than anything."
I felt my heart jump in my chest at my confession and we kept looking at each other for a few minutes in silence. He found my left hand and brought it up to his eyes level before running his thumb gently on my ring finger. I bit my bottom lip, trying to imagine what it would feel like to be his wife, and I swallowed hard, almost ashamed that I let my mind wonder so far.
"One day..." he just murmured before looking up in my eyes. "How many kids?"
"Five." I let out, making his eyebrows raise.
"Jesus Christ, do you want to kill me, woman?"
This time, I started laughing and he pulled me closer with a groan, letting his lips press against mine before pulling slightly away. I waited until he spoke again, my lips curling more and more with every passing seconds.
"You're not serious?" he just asked, making me laugh, this time.
"How many do you want?"
"Two, maybe three." he admitted before I kissed him again, sucking gently on his upper lip.
"Then two or three we'll have." I breathed out against his mouth as he held me closer.
"And we'll live in London, and keep a house in Cali, how's that?" he proposed in a murmur. "I'll bring you to Las Vegas to get married. We'll have the best honeymoon because I'll make you cum twenty times a day for a whole week."
I started laughing against his mouth and he smirked. "Where are we going for that?"
"Bali?" he suggested.
"Mm, don't tempt me." I joked as he laughed again, deepening the kiss and making me close my eyes. "What's on your mind, Horan?" I asked lower and more seriously.
"Well, how about we practice making those two-three kids now?" he offered, making me chuckle. "I really want to make love to my official girlfriend and future wife."
"Hey, I didn't say yes just yet." I joked as his lips traveled on my jaw and neck.
"But you will yea? You just accepted to be my official girlfriend so it's a good start. You'll be my wife and marry me?"
"If you want to spend your life with me, how can I say no to that?"
"That's what I thought." he just said, giving himself a swing and making me laugh even more as he got on top of me.
I spread my legs a bit as he nibbled on the skin of my neck and I groaned when I felt his hard dick press on my inner thighs. I was tired and still a bit tipsy but the way he whispered, the sound of his voice, the feeling of his body on top of mine... all of this was too good and I felt like I never had enough of him. Even after all this time, I wanted him as much as I used to, even more, probably, and the way he was all over me made me think he felt the same.
"I want to bury my cock so deep inside you right now." he whispered, bringing his mouth back on mine. "You're so fucking beautiful. I love you so much, Olivia. You made me so happy today."
I reached for his boxers and pulled them down as much as I could, his words making my heart twist and jump in my chest. I didn't think Niall could love me as much as he seemed to, I didn't know he could want to be with me to the point where he would literally hold my hand and show everyone that we were together in a crowded airport. I had no idea he was waiting for this, I didn't know that it would make him react like that to be my official boyfriend. All of this made sense, of course, but it was just hitting me that Niall really loved me as much as I loved him and that he didn't want to lose me again.
"Please Niall, just do it." I begged him in a murmur, reaching between my legs and pulling my panties aside before grabbing his cock and lining it up.
His hip movement was slow and as he pushed himself inside me, I felt my eyes roll back and a moan escaped my lips. I moved my knees up as he lied on top of me, holding himself on his elbows as he started thrusting in and out of me slowly. It felt like torture but at the same time it was so good I moved my chin up, feeling his lips leave kisses on it.
"I love you, can't believe you're my girlfriend again." he whispered, his lips brushing against my skin.
"I was always yours, Niall. I've always been yours. Since I was 6 years old. I knew I belonged to you." I replied just as low and without thinking. "I was just scared you didn't belong to me"
He pushed himself deeper inside me and it felt so good I let out an other whimper. He remained still, waiting for my eyes to open again and meet his, and I felt one of his hands slip in my hair while the other moved a lock out of my eyes.
"I belong to you." he confessed, making a shiver run across my back. "All this soulmate shit? I believe in it now. I have to."
I bit my bottom lip, making him glance at my mouth before looking back in my eyes.
"I love you. I fucking love you." I had barely finished my sentence that he was pressing his mouth against mine again, this time fucking me harder and faster.
My back arched after a few minutes and I moaned in his mouth this time, right before his thrusts became unsteady and a bit sloppy. The orgasm felt amazing and I gripped his arms as I felt his muscles tighten. I pressed my thighs on each sides of him, pushing myself against him in motion with him as he came. Nothing felt better than that post orgasm feeling with Niall on top of me. His lips found mine and he kissed me slowly but deeply for a while until we both got down of our highs and even a little bit after.
"I'm so happy you followed me here." he admitted with a smile as I tilted my head on the pillow.
"Me too." I licked my lips and raised my eyebrows. "Are you gonna follow me back to Cali in a few days?"
"Nothing will stop me from going with you. Nothing."
He rolled off of me and I pushed the covers to breathe fresh air, just realizing that I needed it. Niall grabbed my hand and I focused back on him as he stared at my fingers, making me try to suppress the smile stuck on my lips.
"Please come to my show tomorrow." he just let out, his fingers brushing gently against mine, exactly where a wedding ring would be. "We're officially together now, so we don't care who sees you or what they see."
My heart skipped a beat and I licked my lips nervously. It would be a good start but it stressed me to think that people would start judging us even more, now that we were official. I knew Niall was not going to start kissing me or anything in public but I still felt nervous.
"Okay." I let out low feeling myself tear up. I swallowed my tears but I could see my boyfriend getting emotional too and I sniffed. "I love you Niall. I don't ever want to be away from you anymore."
He brought one of his hands to my cheek and I felt the warmth of his skin against mine as he moved closer to lean his forehead against mine.
"I'm never leaving again. I promise on my life. I'm here to stay. What we have will never die, okay?"
I nodded quickly and bit my bottom lip as I felt a tear run down my cheek. I could swear he was tearing up too and I pressed my parted lips against his. "Okay."
May 9th, 2018
I hadn't realize how much I had missed watching Niall sing and play. He was always the kid who was singing, dancing, or playing guitar when we were younger, and it always brought a bunch of people around him. He seemed so untouchable, even for me, who was his best friend. Now, with the literal crowds and album selling, it was even more obvious, but a lot less scary. The fact that I knew he loved me definitely helped but watching him do what he's always loved but this time, as a living, was just breathtaking. He was breathtaking.
I chuckled when he winked at me subtly and I rolled my eyes with a smile until I felt a hand on my arm. I jumped slightly and turned again to look at Julia who was smiling widely at me. I thought I knew what she was going to say but instead, she pulled me close into a tight hug. It took me a few seconds to answer it but when I did, she jumped a few times, bringing me with her, and finally pulled away.
"I saw the video!" she said happily, her lips curled into a bit grin.
"The video?"
"Of you two at the airport!"
I felt my cheeks turn a soft shade of red as they burned a bit and cleared my throat, looking away. I knew there were pictures but I was not aware someone was filming. Come to think about it, it was not surprising, after all. I felt two strong arms wrap around my neck from behind and I smiled immediately, recognizing the touch and the perfume. It was crazy how he still affected my moods but I could also see that I influenced his, and that made our relationship so much better.
"Niall!" he let go of me to hug Julia and I smiled, taking a step away. "I'm so happy for you! I knew it would happen! I told you you had to keep hope!"
Niall's eyes found mine and his smile faltered as his embrace around his friend loosened.
"I sort of... confided in Julia." he admitted, licking his lips as mine parted. "I know you wanted me to keep the secret, but I didn't know what to do, and I felt like shit... I needed to talk to someone."
He looked at me with fear in his eyes, as if I was going to turn on my heels and leave, but I just tilted my head on the side while staring at him.
"Hey, I understand. She's one of your closest friends." I pointed out with a shrug before sending him a smile. "I talk to Louis about almost everything." I shrugged again. "Besides, I like her."
Julia smiled more and grabbed my arm, pulling me closer to them to hug both of us at the same time. I laughed and after a few seconds, she pulled away and smiled again.
"I'll wait for you guys backstage. We're going to celebrate right?" she asked as Niall and I glanced at each other, a bit unsure. "It's one of my last shows! We have to go grab a drink together!"
"Sure, we'll do that."
She left with a big grin and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. I frowned, my lips still curled, but I had to admit that the way he was looking at me made something twitch in my stomach.
"Thank you." he whispered, bending down to kiss the top of my head.
"For?"
"For wanting to get to know my friends. I know you get along great with all our childhood friends, and my cousins and all, but I've made great friends while doing this job, and you never really seemed to be interested in befriending them too, well, except for Harry, Louis and Liam.”
I shrugged a shoulder and looked away before looking back at him and raising my nose in a small grimace. "You used to hang out with many celebrities, especially when you were dating Heidi. I don't know, Niall, to me, it's a bit intimidating." I admitted. "I never felt like I fitted with them, or belonged with those famous faces. It's just weird to me."
"I'd love to present them to you. I promise they're great."
I stared at him and after a while, my lips curled again. "Sure, I'd love to meet them." I just gave in and by seeing the smile on his face, I knew it made him happy. "Let's start with Julia. I already know I love her."
Niall laughed and cupped my face, tilting my chin up before reaching for my mouth with his. "And I know I love you."
68 notes · View notes
flobro · 4 years
Text
Omovember 2020
Day One - In a Vehicle
Kageyama x Reader
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Kageyama’s PoV 
Could i get any stupider?
In the rush of Hinata, Y/n and I finishing our tests, scrambling into Tanaks sisters car and setting off immediately for Tokyo I hadnt had time to pee.
Hinata was sat in the front passenger seat as Y/n and I were in the back of the car.
To make matters even worse, i had a huge crush on Y/n and the nerves of sitting next to her were bugging my bladder even more.
I tried to keep my breathing steady because i knew that if i panicked things would only get even worse for my nerves.
I wasnt too desperate yet but the need was still there. We had only been driving for about ten minuets so i definitely couldnt ask how much longer we had to drive yet otherwise everyone would definitely know something was wrong with me.
I crossed my legs which seemed to ease the pressure a little bit and made everything a bit more bearable and i tried to focus my mind on anything but my need to pee.
I jumped slightly as Y/n tapped my shoulder five minuets later and i felt my bladder twinge slightly, making me squeeze my thighs together as descretely as i could.
‘Whats up?’ I asked Y/n, who sent me a stunning smile.
‘You look bored, you wanna listen to some music with me?’ She asked, holding out one of her earbuds to me.
I nodded and shakily grabbed the headphone, ‘Yeah, thanks.’
She just nodded, ‘No problem!’
We had to shuffle slightly closer to eachother so that the earphones could reach to both of our ears and i couldnt help but notice how my seatbelt uncomfortablely pressed down onto my bladder, making my desperation go from a 4/10 to a 7/10.
Hinata and Saeko (Tanakas sister) were chatting happily about volleyball and the tiny giant in the front seats and i was glad that they werent focused on me because then i would feel even more pressured.
Another fifteen minuets had passed and I had tried my best to get lost in Y/n’s music but now my bladder was almost at its maximum capacity and i was beginning to shuffle around a bit, squeezing my thighs together as tight as possible.
Y/n looked at me and yanked the headphone wire, making them fall out of both of our ears.
Y/n went closer to my ear and whispered, ‘Hey, are you okay? You seem uncomfortable?’
My body shivered at the feeling of her breath on my skin and it relaxed my body for a second, making a bit of urine leak out of me.
I gasped and crammed my hands onto my crotch, tensing my body up again, stopping the flow as fast as i possibly could.
Y/n’s eyes widened in realisation and i blushed a deep red, hiding my face away from her, waiting for her to tell me how disgusting and gross i am.
But she didnt...
Instead, she placed a hand comfortingly on my shoulder, her touch making my heart rate speed up even more.
‘Is there anything i can do to help you?’ She whispered to me once again, continuing to keep her voice low so Saeko and Hinata wouldnt ask questions.
I shook my head and tried to calm myself down. There was no way in hell that i was gonna show myself up in front of the girl i like by acting like a four year old.
‘N-no,’ I said, trying to act as calm as possible, ‘Im f-fine dont worry.’
She didnt look like she believed me so i slowly removed my hands from between my legs to try and prove that i wasnt as desperate as it seemed.
Bad idea.
As soon as i took my hands away, another bit of urine left me and i gasped once again, putting my hands back onto my crotch.
This time the flow was harder to control and i knew that there was a 99% chance that there would be a wet patch on my shorts.
Saeko and Hinata must have heard me gasp because their conversation stopped abruptly.
‘You okay back there?’ Sakeo asked and i felt my throat dry up.
Hinata began to turn around to look at us and Y/n and I both panicked, knowing he would see my obvious state of desperation.
Y/n suddenly unclipped her seatbelt and laid accross my lap gently, covering up my crossed legs and hiding my odd hand placement.
Her arm momentarily dug into my stomach, pressing on my overfilled bladder, forcing a two second stream of urine out of me which i painfully cut off, knowing that my boxers were almost fully soaked now.
‘How come your laid down, Y/n?’ Hinata asked her and she sighed.
‘I just feel a bit car sick,’ She said, ‘Do you know how long it will be until we get to Tokyo?’
*Slick* I thought to myself. She had somehow managed to cover up the fact i was about to pee myself AND had a good reason to ask how long it would take until we would arrive.
Hinata frowned, ‘Oh thats not good, i hope you feel better soon!’ and turned back around to look out of the front window.
‘We will arrive in half an hour but were gonna be on this stretch of road for another twenty minuets and wont see another place to stop for a while.’ Saeko said, sounding worried about Y/n.
Y/n frowned at me and sat up again, ‘Okay dont worry, im feeling a bit better after lying down but when we come across a place to stop it would be nice to be stationary for a while.’
Saeko chuckled slightly, ‘Okie dokie! Ill keep that in mind for you!’
Y/n mustve seen the tears in my eyes and my expression showing that i had completely lost hope as she placed an arm around my shoulders, hugging my side for a second before whispering, ‘Sorry i couldnt help you much. Dont stress out, we’ll find a stop for you. You’ll be okay.’
I got butterflies in my stomach from her touch but i ignored them, not wanting to focus on anything else other than holding myself in.
Y/n clipped herself back into her seat and I decided that i would have to speak up. Y/n already knew and Saeko wouldnt make fun of me. Surely i could just scare Hinata into keeping his mouth shut too.
‘C-can you drive a-any faster?’ I shakily asked, panic evident in my voice, ‘I r-really need t-the bathroom.’
Saeko immediately sped the car up, ‘Ill drive as fast as i can. We’ll reach a stop in about fifteen minuets. Can you last?’
I felt a single tear roll down my cheek, feeling pathetic and stupid, ‘I... I d-dont know!’
‘Its usually me who need to pee.’ Hinata said from his seat, making me bubble with anger.
‘S-shut up idiot! This i-isnt funny!’ I growled at him, unable to make my voice any louder.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, putting all my energy into keeping my muscles tensed as much as i possibly could.
My eyes widened as my body began to relax itsself against my will.
‘No... NO.. NO!’ I panicked, ‘YOU N-NEED TO PULL THE C-CAR OVER!’
Saeko quickly turned the wheel and brought the car to the side of the road and i unclipped my seatbelt, threw the door open, and scrambled out of the car.
As soon as i got out i immediately crumbled onto the floor, my legs giving out underneath me as my lap began to feel warm.
Wow. I had really gone and done it hadnt i? I pissed myself in front of my senpais sister, annoying volleyball partner AND my crush. Could it have been any worse?
My shorts were completely soaked and a puddle had began to grow around me. I couldnt even bring myself to try and stop it because my body felt so weak.
No amount of embarassment would ever compare to what i was feeling in that moment. I didnt even want to begin to imagine what Saeko, Hinata and Y/n were thinking of me.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and i kept my head down so no one would be able to see my face.
It took at least a minute for my bladder to fully empty. I felt so pathetic and dumb but there was nothing i could do other than just sit there and wait for myself to be finished.
A pair of shoes came into my line of vision and i looked up slowly to see Y/n with her hand stretched out to me, offering to help me up.
I looked away from her quickly, my voice barely above a whisper, ‘You s-shouldnt touch m-me. Im a-all gross. Even m-my hands.’
She crouched down and placed a hand on my cheek, wiping away one of my tears and making me look up at her, my face even redder.
‘I dont care. Dont stress about it okay? Its a human need. There wasnt anything you could do to avoid it.’ She said in a calm and genuine voice.
I nodded and she grabbed my slightly damp hand. I glanced at her face and she want even slightly disgusted.
I stood up and Y/n kept her hand laced with mine.
We got back into the car, I was sat on a towel. Saeko said that she didnt mind and strangely Hinata hadnt even mentioned it which i was thankful for. Although everyone was being very calm and unaffected by it, i still felt mortified. 
Y/n suddenly lent over to me to whisper in my ear one last time, ‘Dont worry about it so much. Ill always have a crush on you.’
My face reddened as i looked at her, ‘I h-have a c-crush on you too.’ 
Y/n giggled, ‘I guess that makes me your girlfriend then.’
~~~~~~~~~~
hey guys !!
this was my first time writing an omofic so i hope you liked it !!!
~ flobro 
22 notes · View notes
comicteaparty · 5 years
Text
May 23rd, 2019 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on May 23rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PDT.  The chat focused on Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like.
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Featured Comment:
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Chat:
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!
Good evening, everyone~! Our final Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Maiden of the Machine by Caitlin Like~! (https://maidenmachine.com/)
Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!
QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?
i think my favorite scene so far is when elizabeth and victor decide to sleep together. part in for its serious drama. theres so many questions about victor created from just the visuals, and then theres the stakes at hand of elizabeth's reputation. but then, there is also a good balance of comic relief to a degree since victor told her to ask no questions and she asks the one question that he probably didnt see coming. all around it was a pretty satisfactor culmination of their relationship so far at a juncture that felt natural.
another scene i really enjoyed was the ball scene where victor and eric are having a chat about elizabeth and then elizabeth and victor have a passionate liason. im mostly a fan cause of the dramatic convo. cause theres a deep and terrible sense that both characters truly know what their risking, what the situation is, and how they still are into each other. plus, its all very tense cause it just takes one person being in the wrong place at the wrong time to blow their cover.
honestly i think itd be accurate to say all my favorite scenes are with elizabeth and victor. romance is one of those genres i can struggle with, because theres always something missing. but oh man do i love the romance in this comic. there is nothing more i want than to see then elizabeth and victor finding a way to be together in spite society trying to kick that down at every turn.
i will give a special shout out to the scene where eric, abhaya, milo, and the cousin are meeting to discuss the affairs of the estate. i just like it because it basically shows all the characters' worst sides. abhaya is brash and reckless, milo is just kind of there, and eric is a greedy mofo. and whats worse is literally none of them thought to bring elizabeth. they may have their excuses of protecting her...but part of me still thinks thats a super dick move and shows even abhaya just kind of views elizabeth more as a pawn than a person. but all in all, nothing like money and estates to show off everyone's worst traits. it is very true to life, and i can respect that.
another non-victor/elizabeth scene i respect is the scene where elizabeth is out dress shopping and eric is like here i got you these dresses. just cause i knew eric was kind of a creep, but ho boy, he dialed the creep up to number 11 on a 10 meter scale. but at the same time, i think that really helped to erase all sympathy i might have had for him. thus paving the way for me to not really feel guilty on elizabeth's behalf for her trespasses against him.
mathtans
Hello, I made it... unfortunately this is a rather bad week, I only made it through the first two chapters.
RebelVampire
i also like scenes with west in them. cause I like that between all the people around Victor, West seems the most honest in a scoundrel sort of way. Which that is basically what I like about him in every scene. He causes trouble and pushes the limits, but at the same time hes always at least pretty upfront about his intentions.
thats unfortunate cause its a great comic, but glad to see you anyway math!
mathtans
Which kind of sucks, I like the whole concept of the kick ass ladies. Even the pirates.
Maybe I'll find time to read more in the background.
The bit I liked most of what I read I think was back in the first chapter, when Elizabeth makes the callback to when she got out of the ropes at the very start of the story. It was a nice subtle detail which I found very clever.
I'm not at your bits yet but I can see how the Elizabeth/Victor thing is being set up. Also there seems to be some question of whether Abhaya likes him... or possibly other ladies? I may be reading my own interests into that.
RebelVampire
you may be reading your own interests but later on there is a female character i ship abhaya with atm
so there is that
i dont think youve met her yet tho
mathtans
Also, yeah, the whole estate thing creates an interesting dynamic. That was a clever way of using the period to generate conflicts.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 2. A large focus of the comic is on Elizabeth and Victor’s relationship. At the end of the day, do you think the two will find a way to be together? If so, how will they get over the scandal Elizabeth would face and the fact those around Victor want him to marry a titled woman? If you don’t believe they’ll find a way to stay together, what will stop them? Further, given the most recent events, how will Eric Wollstonecraft play a role in the future of their love story? How does the narration framing seen where Elizabeth is addressing her potential son affect your opinion? How do you think that future came about, and how soon will it come to pass? Last, what do you think of their relationship in terms of Elizabeth wanting to make her own choices in life?
mathtans
I ship Abhaya with everyone.
RebelVampire
yeah i have to say if theres one thing i appreciate its combination of progressive themes while at the same time acknowledging that the period was not the friendliest towards these things
especially in regards to how elizabeth is treated since her only purpose apparently to everyone is to get hitched to a titled guy
and i mean
thats depressing
yet also true to the period
even though we get to see elizabeth take a journey and reject those social conventions
in regards to the current question, i am choosing not to think about whether in the long term elizabeth and victor will get together for the rest of their lives. because if they dont i will cry but i could see this realistically being the case given the tone of the narration. cause that...does not sound like an elizabeth who lives in eternal happiness.
mathtans
Back, sorry. Yeah, I'm usually not much of one for period pieces, but I like the narrative viewpoint. Also, pretty neat airships.
There was the point where she talked about leaving Victor behind back in Chapter 1 (I don't recall the exact circumstances) but I wondered if it was because he causes her heartache, or just because it make their lives more complicated.
Incidentally, the first thing I thought of with the name "Lovelace" was Lady Ada Lovelace. The mathematician. Not sure if that was an intentional reference to another well regarded woman.
RebelVampire
i love period pieces but i think the steampunk aspects help twist it enough to make it a bit more unique.
mathtans
(I don't think the time frames synch up but I don't recall when the comic takes place...)
Oh, it's definitely unique. I like the gadget aspect too.
RebelVampire
i would not be surprised if the name choice was purposeful. if only because the comic has lots of strong ladies. i doubt well see any real historical figures though.
i appreciate that the comic actually kind of starts off with the airship escapade
cause it really showcases the ways in which their world differs
where you get airships
and sky pirates
mathtans
That's a good point. Helps with the world building before we get down into some of the classic period issues.
RebelVampire
yes. and i also kind of like it starts off more action-y. not that there isnt action bits later mind you. but more i think it helps set up the main conflict while tying in the romance. because it makes it so the romance isnt some forced subplot. rather its kind of integral and has as much to do with the whole highjacking as the rest of the story. since later on youll see that elizabeth's proximity to victor keeps bring that part of the story into the limelight
mathtans
That's a good point, in terms of tying things together. Also possibly sets up a key antagonist (or at least revenge plot) in that burned pirate lady.
RebelVampire
she does come back
i will spoil that much
mathtans
I figured she had to some time, whether it was by the present updates or not.
I've resumed reading a bit in the background. Seems like both the Watson ladies are doing their best to get arrested. ^.^
RebelVampire
well at least Abhaya is.
cause Abhaya is a risk taker who puts herself in many situations where people are gonna stop and stare
mathtans
Well, yes. But Elizabeth also seems to be taking risks where Victor is concerned. Or at least stepping out of her comfort zone.
Certain people have certain effects on us I guess.
RebelVampire
nah thats true. I just think Elizabeth just takes more social risks. Like not the kind that are gonna get her arrested, but more the kind that are gonna get her socially shunned.
whereas Abhaya is the punch one who is gonna get charged with assault
mathtans
That seems like a valid viewpoint. It fits with their personalities when we saw them in their youth.
The cutting back and forth between the two sisters in Chapter 3 is well done.
RebelVampire
yeah in general i like the PoV switching of the comic. because every scene is pretty well-chosen and advances the plot in some manner. and it lets us see others parts of the comic developing. cause later on you do get to see more of victor without elizabeth some and get to go "hmm" to all that hes up to.
mathtans
Ha! I like Chapter 3, page 31, where all the dialogue seems to fade out as Victor touches her. Cute.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 3. Besides romance, there is a larger plot posing real and deadly danger to the characters. Who do you think the Angel is? What are the Angel’s goals, and why is she excessively targeting Victor? Further, what do you think the source of her power is? Also, what does have kidnapping people like Ambrose have to do with her goals? Alternatively, is Ambrose there of his own free will (and if so, why)? Considering Abhaya is being sought by Amabel for help, what do you think Abhaya will do? Will Abhaya be able to uncover more of the truth, or is Abhaya just going to get herself into more trouble? How will Abhaya’s involvement affect Elizabeth and herself? Last, can Amabel be trusted, or is it possible she’ll abandon Abhaya when Abhaya might need her?
spoiler Amabel is who I ship Abhaya with
mathtans
Related to those questions, I do wonder a bit if Victor has a sordid past or something. Like maybe his empire wasn't entirely built on the up-and-up... with his knowledge or possibly without it. So there could be a reason there for him to be targeted.
I've looked on the character page and I approve this ship.
RebelVampire
oh yeah. Victor is 100% definitely a scoundrel. There is one scenes that really hints at this, but even before that i agree with you. Victor is not on the up and up entirely. I don't think he made his fortune without cracking a few skulls.
although idk if this is what makes him a target persay
or maybe it oes
but more in the way hes done the forbidden when it comes to tech
mathtans
Was he totally aware of the repercussions of whatever he did though? Because the people around him seem to like to keep him in the dark.
brb
RebelVampire
im sure he knew the repercussions. the people around him are more about keeping him in the dark about romantic matters. cause as was implied by one of the questions later on you find out the main thing ppl arent telling victor is that elizabeth is just there to open him up to the idea of marriage so he can marry a titled lady
cause everyone is all about those titles
In regards to the current question while you're away, I think Abhaya will help Amabel and get herself caught and get into a whole mess of trouble that for once, Elizabeth will have to break her out of. But I think it'll be a dual sword cause I do think Elizabeth's relationship to both Abhaya and Victor is gonna put her in the crosshairs. cause like, what an easy way to get Victor to show up. Get Elizabeth, tell Victor you'll never see her again if you don't show up.
as for the angel's goals, I feel shes on a path of vengence against the entire world, but particularly victor cause hes high up there in the industrialist chain
and knows something she doesnt and that she needs to bring her plans to fruition
mathtans
Back. Okay, that does make sense, darn titles.
Interesting, this Angel talk. I wonder if it's the same "angel" we see in the title card for Chapter 2?
Sounds like you think it's not personal, the Angel's path, merely that Victor is a convenient figurehead.
RebelVampire
i mean the angel is kind of the one from the title card. those are her wings for sure, though she doesnt look quite like that the one time you meet her
it could be personal, but i feel like the angel just has bigger fish to fry
from the impression i got from her
since shes kidnapping a ton of ppl
and you dont need to kidnap ppl to your cause if all youre doing is hunting down some industrialist
who almost got caught
if not for abhaya and elizabeth
mathtans
Ah, so she's the one behind the disappearances then.
(Still reading in the background.)
RebelVampire
yes. i mean its pretty implied but you get confirmation later that yes its her. though you can definitely speculate on the why
cause i have no clue
shes still enigmatic
mathtans
Looking for a husband? ^.^
RebelVampire
shes reading the wrong romance advice book
when elizabeth and her meet, elizabeth will point her in the right direction
and the angel is like "oh wait so youre not supposed to kidnap them? huh?"
mathtans
And then we ship Angel and Elizabeth.
RebelVampire
no. ill ship Abhaya and Angel
Elizabeth and Victor are the OTP
i said but then was like "nah id totally ship Elizabeth with West"
mathtans
Heh. That's fair, they are the main couple. Though West is an interesting guy, just needs to learn social cues.
RebelVampire
nah thats why west is amazing
he doesnt know social cues
and is awkward
yet helpful
and hes the only dude of victor's who seems to be in elizabeth's corner
mathtans
Right. I think it was said that he's not used to the lifestyle?
RebelVampire
yes that is what he said
which makes me want a side chapter just about what he did before he came to victor
cause i dont feel like victor would just hire some rando. he must of seen something in west
mathtans
Maybe he took pity on the guy, something about the scar.
RebelVampire
that could be cause victor understands the burden of scars
or something like that
whereas i just think west's scar gives him character
QUESTION 4. Mixed in with the present drama is a lot of unsolved past drama. Who do you think Victor really is? What do you think happened to Victor based on Milo’s story that he was telling Abhaya? How do you think Victor managed to overcome this to become the person he is today? Also, what do you make of the room Victor seemed to have sealed off in his house? Besides Victor, there is also a lot of drama between Jules, Abhaya, and Milo. What do you think happened between the three of them that managed to damage their relationship forever? Will spending more time together heal their wounds, or is it impossible at this point? Further, what was Jules up to the whole time he was away with Victor? Last, what do you think Jules’ goals were for introducing Elizabeth and Victor, and why does he seem immensely conflicted about her presence?
mathtans
Sorry, biab
RebelVampire
kay
I think Victor was some fellow servant kid who was Jules' only friend after Jules got sent away. And then Victor almost died. Although I'm changing my previous speculations. Maybe the Angel is more literal and she literally showed up, saved Victor with tech with the promise to return, and then left. So now shes back for her comeuppance. Meanwhile, Victor decided technology was great and he needed to bring it to the world cause it was what would keep him alive and save others.
as for the three, at this juncture it seems pretty heavily implied Milo and Jules were in a relationship and that Milo called off the wedding to Abhaya cause he didnt want to live a lie in regards to how he felt about Jules. Regardless of the what, while Milo i feel will legitimately forgive and forget, I dont feel Abhaya or Jules will. Abhaya cause she doesnt seem the type to ever forgive ever. And to just hold onto her hatred and seethe. Jules in the meantime I think wont forgive until he gets revenge in some way. Cause the two probably betrayed his trust big time and he kind of got the most screwed over by what happened
i think Jules wanted them to meet for the exact reason that the others implied: they want Victor to warm up to the idea of women so he can get married. However, I feel Jules now feels like a jerk who is taking out his anger at Abhaya on Elizabeth who had 0% to do with what happened between the three. and yet he knows hes in too deep to turn back now.
mathtans
Could be that Victor was initially poor... in fact maybe he married into the company somehow? Could the Angel be his wife? o.o
I wondered about Milo and Jules. My initial thought had been that Abhaya had called off the engagement though, so that's an interesting other look at things.
Jules and Elizabeth were close too, back in the day. One wonders if he's that good at seeing how things play out long term.
RebelVampire
nah its definitely his company. but victor was probably poor. if only cause everyone calls him new money. so it means he has no predecessor parent who made their fortune.
Jules strikes me more as the type who things hes great at planning but really, really, really isnt
and then tons of consequences come about that he has to accept and deal with
mathtans
That makes sense and could explain the sympathy for West too, maybe he knows West even though it doesn't necessarily go both ways.
Yeah, Jules seems to think he's got everything well in hand but he doesn't seem to account for the human factor.
Made it to the end of Chapter 4/Act 1 now. Apparently the Angel kidnaps people to literally graft wings onto her spine. Ouch.
Interesting callback to Victor's wounded leg though.
RebelVampire
i think even more than the human factor, Jules is just bad at making plan Bs for when things do go wrong. then panics and makes bad decisions
like not telling victor the factory is in danger
mathtans
Maybe that thing that Victor has in the factory is a time machine. Turns out he's actually from the future, he brought back all the technology and that's why the Angel is after him, she thinks it's stolen.
You're not wrong there, about Jules.
RebelVampire
ya know...i can support this time traveler theory. i mean it doesnt quite fit considering flashbacks
but id 100% buy victor built a time machine
cause why not
victor is amazing
mathtans
Maybe his company is corrupt because they're still trying to get the patents.
RebelVampire
i mean
its a company
so its probably corrupt to some degree regardless
mathtans
That's also a good point.
RebelVampire
i mean i can point out the fact they want victor to marry a titled lady to be a form of corruption. cause thats just marrying someone to advance your social standing for the business
mathtans
I guess we're near the end... haven't said anything about the art yet. I suppose I like the shading, and I thought the sound effect use was clever.
Need someone to star in the commercials.
"Ladies and gentlemen, my wife loves this new device I call a roomba."
RebelVampire
i really love the clothes. i mean theyre simple, and yet all seem to fit within the period that this comic is trying to go for
but if they get a roomba what are the house wives supposed to do
not sit at home cooking and cleaning all day?
also about the art, i really love the steampunk designs. you can definitely tell the steampunk inspiration in them, yet theyre really unique and not really like any steampunk ive seen before
and i can for sure appreciate uniqueness
mathtans
Yeah, that's true. And there was that neat detail of the corset being laced up the front, I wouldn't have thought of that.
Uniqueness is good. I wonder what the machine connection will end up being.
With the whole "maiden of the machine" thing there. (Won't be a roomba, after all.)
RebelVampire
ah thats a good point as well. i loved that detail about the maid being able to tell elizabeth didnt have a maid
mathtans
Maybe Elizabeth gets upgraded too.
RebelVampire
the comic was about the angel all along
and the angel's victory
COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!
Sadly, this wraps up our final Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Caitlin Like, as well, for making Maiden of the Machine. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Caitlin Like’s efforts however you’re able to~!
Read and Comment: https://maidenmachine.com/
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phil-and-a-corgi · 6 years
Text
highschool bandfic in a nutshell - chapter 2
chapter 1
rating: t/m (swearing and also irene’s writing.)
word count: um i dont know a lot ( 2083 )
summary: uhh we have that on the first page
here if you want to read it here then here you go materinos(doesn’t include behind the scenes bants though
here read it on google docs yeah i know so professional(this one has behind the scenes banter)
SECOND CHAPTER (2)
(written by renee @dan-and-a-shibe - pete’s pov)
after finally putting on my eyeliner (i had no time to do it this morning and i looked like a garbage can filled with shit on fire) i hopped off the sink counter. sighing and putting my MAC charcoal liner back into my bag.i dabbed just a wee bit of eyeshadow because WHY THE FUCK NOT. the bell rang, signalling that i was late for first period. why do i let a bell, a mere beep for 5 seconds control where i go and when i go. it just shows how even though everyone tries to be themselves that everyone ends up being dragged by the trends of society. so i decided to sit in the background and look through tumblr. on my phone. ten minutes of scrolling through poetry and kittens. i should get going now. so i did. i walked into mr armstrong’s class.
“mr wentz may i ask why you’re late.” he asked, jokingly in a teacher’s voice. “sorry it’s required to ask that” he whispered, winking at the class.
“i know why, because he was busy being a GAYLORD”(dh quote) that try hard kid justin bieber teased.
“ok justin please explain how your bleached hair isn’t gayer than his amazing eyeliner.” mr amstrong retorted back as the whole class “oohed” at justin.
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(written by Irene - @feckboy69-aol - frank’s pov)
Fuck Ms. O-Conner. Fuck her class. It's the only class that I don't have with my beloved Gee and the rest of the guys I hung out with and the only class where the teacher actually expects me to do shit. Like okay, maybe there’s some nice chicks in this class and I sit in the back next to a window where I can stare out of and think of my beloved, beautiful Gee, but so what? Lorde’s (yeah, that's what her preferred name was, what a joke) a fucking bore. Honestly, so would this school be, if not for my beloved, precious, beautiful Gee and the shit going on with Ryan and Beebs’ tea drama. Oh, that and the whole of Beaver’s crowd; it was fun watching them get owned by literally everyone here.
Anyway, English class. Lorde Bitchface was screaming about the importance of “putting emotion into your poems” and using “meaningful symbolism” to give your writing “depth” like the edgy bitch she was, so I just tuned her ugly mug out as usual, grabbing my notebook and turning to a fresh page. I gripped the #2 mechanical pencil in my hands and let my mind wander and think about my beloved, adorable, precious, and beautiful Gee, which wasn't very hard. I thought about the last time we had made out (in the bathroom near Bitchface’s class in the stall that no one used) and let my hand draw what I thought. I never was a good artist, but my beloved, handsome, adorable, precious, and beautiful Gee had taught me a couple things (some about art, some about other things), so I had become pretty good. I concentrated for a good 5-7 minutes on the drawing, making every line count, and then smirked to myself at the finished masterpiece. It was stunning; well Gee was.
“Ah… Mr. Iero, why don't you tell us?” said Lorde Bitchface, looking at me with that stupid fucking teacher look that Mr. Armstrong had copied perfectly from her and would use to joke around. But I, being me, tried to pass it off with a smartass answer, something I always did that got on the bitch’s nerves.
“See now I would, but I don't do things like that for free,” I said, giving her a mischievous look. Several girls in front of me (except Hayley, that sassy lassy, who just rolled her eyes and went back the crap that Bitchface was teaching) turned around and giggled, playing with their hair in a vain attempt to try and get my attention. They knew about Gee and me; the whole school did (that's a story for another time), but they still thought they could get me. But I played along anyway, winking at them and giving them the Frank Iero Famous smoulder. The girls seemed impressed, but Bitchface clearly wasn't, her ugly face (okay, I knew she wasn't ugly, she probably got a lot of action actually with that figure, but I despised her so fuck off) morphing into one of disgusting bitch anger, her nose and eyebrows scrunched up and her lips pursed into a tight, white line. I knew she was about to blow, when a kid sitting all the way up in the front who I didn't even know existed until he spoke his next words (that would definitely be his last if I ever found him alone in a dark hallway, by the way) said, “He's being inappropriate and drawing repulsing images in his notebook, Ms. Lorde. I saw him when I went to sharpen my pencil, Ms. Lorde,”
He then turned around and smirked at me, his wavy ginger hair following him as he did, an aura of smugness about him that I did not appreciate.
I saw the anger drain from Lorde Bitchface’s face and have it replaced with a look of calmness that was actually more efficient in scaring people than her anger.
Fucking asshole, I thought, momentarily losing my cool before reminding myself that I was Frank Iero and bitches wished they could kiss the ground I walked on with their crusty-ass, chapped as fuck lips.
So when that fucking whore of a teacher gave me detention, I simply smiled and said a cheeky, “Can't get enough of me as it is, Lorde? Not that I can't see why you wouldn't want more of this,” running my hands through my hair, knowing that this was definitely gonna make the ugly hag throw a fit, which would be far more amusing than if I had just accepted the offer of yet another detention.
It worked; I got sent to the principal's office, but like hell I was actually gonna go there. I smiled to myself as I walked outside the door, giving Bitchface a cheeky salute as I went out, not staying long enough for her to scream more shit at me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written by renee @dan-and-a-shibe - ray’s pov)
geez well this is frank's seventh detention this week and it's only wednesday. how is that even possible. well, lorde's most recent detention got him a saturday detention for the whole day and i knew he was supposed to go hang out with gee. gerard would be heartbroken if he couldn't make it to their next date. they have date night in saturday. i had to convince lorde to get him out of detention. she hadn't hated me yet, so i had a chance. while we were supposed to be writing deep poetry, i went up to her desk.
                 “hey um, ms lorde, uh sorry about frank. his family isn't really okay at the moment, and well, he's been acting up. more than usual. his parents have been really hard on him, especially with the detentions. i hope you can withdraw the multiple detentions from the past three days. don't mention this to him, or anyone else. please.” truth was that franks family wasn't doing to well but they weren't being hard on him, they didn't care anymore.
          lorde paused for a moment. “ok then, ill withdraw the detentions. only for this week. why don't you go down to the office and tell him this detentions are withdrawn.” i knew i could do it. most ladies have more vulnerable emotions, they’re more sensitive. and that's why women are so great. and now he only had three after school detentions..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(written by Irene - @feckboy69-aol - tyler’s pov)
It was lunch for the Sophomores, so as usual, I was trying to find my best fren Josh Dun. It was strange, he wasn't anywhere to be seen, when usually I could spot his vibrant colored hair in any crowd (it was a bright yellow today). So when I entered the large circular shaped cafeteria, and didn't see him, I started to panic a bit.
He was there in the morning, we walked here together, he was there in first period, I saw him when I went to go to the bathroom, he was there during third period because I was there with him, oh no, he got kidnaped… he got bullied he's in a locker somewhere stuck I have to go, he's hurt I have to sav-
“Tyler!” I heard someone scream from behind me, interrupting my very important thoughts about Jishwa. I turned around in pure panic, ready for the news that was going to be solemnly sorrowful; news about Jishwa’s untimely death.
Alas, it was only Jenna Joseph Black, a pleasant surprise at that. I smiled in spite of my internal mental struggle, watching Jenna smiling and running up to me. The cafeteria was now starting to fill up, with cliques of people banding together in their own respectable tables, as usual.
Jenna grinned at me, giving me a friendly greeting. I didn't want her to get worried for my stupid overthinking habit. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder, leading me to our lunch table which consisted of me, Jish, her, Hayley (Kiyoko) Adam, Jack, and Ryan. The others weren't there yet, me and Jen usually arrived early, Josh not too far behind us, with the rest walking together, usually bringing some mundane news about whatever they considered important in their lives. Usual conversations involved Jack and his frens coming in with their loud but awkward selves, Hayley not too far behind them, her hands crossed in silent disapprovement at almost everyone and everything. They all would then come in to our table, interrupting the meaningful conversations that Jen, Jish and I would be having, usually conversations about the possibility (or plausibility) of whether coconut sharks could or not exist, (if they did exist, where would they be swimming?) with talk about the latest song from so-and-so’s band or whether Ryan and Brendon would ever get back together, or at least make up.
But that's not what exactly happened today because Jen, ever the one to notice and care, gave me a caring concerned look that depicted exactly how much she cared and was concerned about me and Jish, her eyes gleaming in the bright-lighted cafeteria, her mouth morphing into a depressing frown.
“Where's Jish?” She inquired, the proportions of her face perfectly in line, to the point where she made everyday curiosity look like it was the epitome of perfection, suddenly standing up, probably (or plausibly) realizing that if Jish were here, he would be right now.
I slouched further into my seat, gulping, my throat feeling dry, “I don't Jen… I don't know…”  
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tayegi · 6 years
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i have so many theories right now...what if the guys are just trying to win a bet set on the oc? or maybe jk just doesn’t realize he likes the oc and mistakes his own actions as platonic ones? also, as readers, we see the story through the oc’s eyes so we focus on that angst part at the end of chap9, but then again, the oc has stated multiple times to hoseok and so many people that her and jk would never be more. whatever she went trough there, jk could have been trough the same a million times.
ahhhh you guys are the best!!! srsly i am so honored to have so many thoughtful, lovely, incredible asks theorizing about the plot and what jk’s intentions are!!! i would love to respond to each and every one of them, but unfortunately, i am unable to confirm or deny anything!
But i think these are super interesting and i’ve read all of them, and i’d love it if other ppl did as well! MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT: 
Anonymous said:I know Hoseok wasn’t in this chapter but I feel like Hoseok is gonna play her like jk did and she’s gonna be left in the dust with no one and resort to being even more icy. Jungkook has a lot of problems and it’s really evident that he likes her in that way. Fuckbois are really something else man. They get scared of affection yet lead girls on and make them scared of it. It’s like a constant cycle of insecurity. Damn I wish she was with jimin. He would’ve provided all the love and affection
Anonymous said:lmao why is everyone assuming jk will never change and that he’s going to be an Evil Fuckboi™️ forever. like, we can see how the oc changed throughout the story, so why y’all thinking jk can’t do the same. the story isn’t over, there is more to learn, and the oc and jk have more development to go through. anyway, deep in my heart I’m hoping they’ll get a happy ending 💜
Anonymous said:Why do I get the feeling that Jungkook has slight romantic feelings towards the oc but his fear of not wanting to get hurt outweighs those thoughts. I don’t know though I might be completely off😫Thank you for the update!
Anonymous said:I tried reading the story in JK's POV and I cant help but feel as if he isnt the one at fault for making OC cry. Yes, he rejected her but he's known as a fkboy. He stated clearly that he didn't want a relationship, he thought OC knew that clearly. Thus he thought they were just friends. All the things he said was misinterpreted into a romantic way cause people kept forcing OC to view their relationship romantically. I felt that if ppl didnt do that, OC wldnt have developed feelings for him.
carlyangel123 said:Ok everyone is saying that Jungkook hasn't changed at all and I'm not saying like oh yall wrong or anything😂. But I think, based on Jungkook's showcase of clinginess and affectionate actions through the past chapters, that he HAS fallen for the OC. However, bc of his past (not wanting to go through another possible heartbreak), his assumption the OC would never like him, and just maybe insecurities that he's denying it and forcing himself to be indifferent like the OC did in the beginning.🤔🤔
Anonymous said:Nah nah nah nah lu i refuse to believe that everything jungkook did was all platonic but through oc’s eyes we saw as romantic. Im trying to remember everything he’s done for her and trying to see it from a platonic pov but i cant. So here’s my conclusion: jk likes oc but during the car ride and seeing his hand in hers he had a realization and became fearful of being hurt like he was before. Thats why he put his barriers up again CUZ LIKE HOW COULD THAT BE THE SAME JK I JUST ALDJSKAHALA
Anonymous said:Jin was an ass who only wanted sex, cheated on y/n and didn't care for her, many people think that Jk may've gone through something similar with his ex, but I think JK's ex was totally different, she was in fact... the opposite. Possessive, wanted to be with jk all the time, didn't let him breath, etc... That's why he doesn't want a relationship, he suffered the opposite extreme of what the oc suffered with jin, also this would mean the oc is the complete opposite to jk's ex aka why he likes her
Anonymous said:i’m analyzing NR again and just a theory of my own: jk’s relationship with his ex girlfriend started as a fwb type and jk was the one to develop feelings first, and at first it was good and then severely went downhill? this theory is probably far from correct, but i was just piecing together the fact that he hates hookup culture, but is able to engage in it with OC, maybe jk just wanted the physical emotion or OC reminds jk of his ex? anyways i’m enjoying the story so so much! best wishes lu 💜
Anonymous said:Wait so like OC got reminded of Jin when she met JK, so I thought that maybe JK saw himself in OC? Bc sometimes they REALLY think alike.. Idk man I just had this idea.. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH LU HAVE A NICE DAYYYY–❄️🐰
Anonymous said:I've been thinking about oc's relationship with seokjin and jk's with his ex gf. We don't know anything about her except two things: the oc reminded jk of her (as jk reminded her of seokjin) and the "don't leave me like she did" he said while drunk. If seokjin helped oc build who she is and what she wants in a relationship, we could say that maybe jk wants something that lacked in his previous relationship, like emotional support or a caring hand. It matches oc's Ice Queen reputation a bit to me
Anonymous said:Omg jks roues are definitely along the lines of “dont fall for anyone”
Anonymous said:so like, i feel as tho hyejin plays a more important role than we’re realizing. why does she seem so obsessed with jk if everyone knows he’s a fuckboy who doesn’t do relationships? why does she think she’s different? why does she think she has a chance? unless they already have a history we don’t know about...?? 🤔
Anonymous said:Personally, I wasn‘t that surprised about Jungkook not feeling the same way as OC. I don‘t blame him, he was honest from the very beginning with her. At the same time, I cannot blame OC either for feeling the way she does. Hookup culture leads you to believe that the person you‘re sleeping with should not care for you. I assume that OC interpreted the signals from JK in the wrong way, and thought he might love her when, in reality, he does care about her, but not in the way she wants. (1) ☀️
Anonymous said:JK has found smn he can talk to, and share smth else beyond sex. At the very end, I think OC might be the one who will push him outside his shell but not necessarily be the one he will fall in love with. (2)☀️
Anonymous said:I feel like oc and Jungkook might be on the same wavelength but because Jungkook clearly hasn’t gotten over his ex and whatever happened he might be pushing oc away. Plus the fact he even wants to stay friends with her is quite sweet in itself. It shows he genuinely cares about her, but probably isn’t ready to have any sort of relationship. You haven’t mentioned him having any female friends either so all of that skinship he does with oc might just be his way of being friendly??
Anonymous said:I feel like Jungkook is not over his ex and maybe he will end up with her, maybe he really does like the OC for the sex and the friendship. That's all.
Anonymous said:What if JK still likes his ex? :O
Anonymous said:Hummm sometimes I feel like in the end they're just going to be experiences for each other. I mean the OC and JK, maybe they will have none relationship at all, not friendship nor fuck buddies nor bf and gf...
dodoesdidwill said:Hyejin's line "You are really good at skating. I'm amazed" what? No way he was practicing after OC took him to skate, right? There must be something we don't know yet...
Anonymous said:Ok, if "New Rules" has taught me anything, it's to NOT judge a book by its covers. I judged Mijoo too harshly & things weren't as they seemed. Not repeating the same mistake with Kook. He was obviously hurt by someone in the past, just like the OC. Sooo... Maybe OC is not the only one with new rules? Maybe Kook was so hurt, one of his rules is to not fall in love again, or to ever put himself in a vulnerable position to be hurt again? Idk but I don't think he's that much of a dickwad
Anonymous said:Okay, so you said that we've been seeing JK through the OC's perspective and that we need to sort through the facts and her assumptions. What the anon who talked about JK having FWBs for the intimacy said really made sense to me and I thought about the fact that, if my memory serves me correctly, we've only seen JK with the OC. We have no way of knowing how he's acted in other FWB relationships. Maybe this is how he's been with all of them??? I dunno.
Anonymous said:i think new rules! jk likes OC too. this thing going on between them isn't just platonic. but the problem is, he really doesn't want to invest in a relationship, as some sort of defense mechanism (kind of like repression maybe?) i can't wait to find out more about his past and see exactly how it's correlating with his actions rn. I'm super hooked in your story lu! you never fail to deliver as always 💜
Anonymous said:I think jk is just as scared of what he feels for oc as oc is scared of what she feels for jk. Like I think oc already went through a ‘I need to protect myself from my feelings for him’ phase and I think jk is going through that now after their time at the hotel. I think he realized that he likes her a lot more than he realized and after coming back he’s trying to shut his feelings so he doesn’t go through whatever happened with his ex again
Anonymous said:JK said he hated hookup culture yet he partakes in it. My theory is that he might've done the same as OC has now done. Maybe had a sort of fwb relationship with his ex and subsequently fell for them, and they broke his heart. But again, idk if that's enough for someone to want to abstain from romantic relationships forever, though it does depend on the person. I'm probably wayyyy off but it's worth a shot :')
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sainadazai · 3 years
Text
When your crush is angry all the time
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Ch.5
"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"
3rd person pov
°•○●○•°•○●○•°
As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.
So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.
"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.
Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.
For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿
She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.
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She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.
In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.
The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.
He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.
Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.
However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.
"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"
"N-n-"
"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.
With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.
Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.
Y/n pov
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As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.
While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.
Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.
Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.
"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"
"Your wrong."
"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"
"L/n you are wrong."
"Dude im trying to-"
"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.
"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."
"Your skin....dirty?"
"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"
"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."
His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.
Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.
I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.
I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.
"So what really is your quirk?"
I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.
"How much did Aizawa tell you?"
"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.
I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.
"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.
"So, what does it mean?"
"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"
"Um yes kid, why?"
Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.
I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.
"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."
Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.
"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.
"So, im guessing you've got ...."
"Total control, yup" I confirmed.
"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"
I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.
"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.
He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.
Until we heard some crying in the distance.
The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-
"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"
"Wha-"
"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"
his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.
They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.
"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.
"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"
I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.
"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"
Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.
"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."
I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.
Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.
Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.
Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.
"Hey bakugou~"
"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"
"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged
I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.
I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.
"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"
"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"
"Fires scary."
I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.
"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"
The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.
I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.
My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.
I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.
I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.
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The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.
He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.
I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?
"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."
"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.
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arthurflecksgirl · 4 years
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Subway scene /Arthurs POV
The subway is moving forwards, while everything inside of me is standing still. Frozen. Numb even. The numbness takes over me, except for the real bad headache. I shouldnt have done that. Hurting myself. But sometimes I just cant help it. Sometimes the sadness turns into anger and I dont want to hurt anyone, so I punish myself instead of anyone else. Instead of the people that hurt me all my life. I just sit there and take it, and try to cry my eyes out afterwards, but I cant even do that. Not a tear.
Silence. At least on the outside. Inside of me silence doesnt excist.
I don`t say much. I would love to talk a lot actually, but I gave it up when I realized that people won`t listen anyway. I prefer to write in my jornal nowdays. Its saver for me. My journal can`t missunderstand me. At least I hope so.
But yeah… if only they would give me the chance to explain myself. They would notice that I`m a good guy.  But they won`t. To them it doesnt matter how big my heart is or that is filled with lonelyness. I do write my jokes for OTHER people. To make them happy. To be seen as someone who want to spread positivity. But they remain unheard. My jokes are only scribbles in my journal. At least up until now. I`ve got the feeling that change is about to come. Like….I can feel soemthing growing inside of me. Not sure what it is though. Its just a gut feeling but trusting my feelings is another story...
I look outside the window. Graffitys on the dirty surface cover half of my reflection. Half of my face, a blurr. Funny because thats how I feel right now. I notice how worn out my face must seem to others. A sad eyed clown, abandoned from the rest of the world. I can`t smile for anyone today. Not after Hoyt fired me. How could I ever tell my mum when I get home? I just told her that she shouldt worry about money, or me. That my stand ups are ready for the big clubs. And now I got nothing left.  Not even my job, which I loved. Mum and I didnt had much money but it was enough to get us through. What now? She`ll be so dissappointed in me. I wanted make her proud. I wanted her to watch her son up on the stage, thinkng “I`m so proud of him. He really made it. ” But all she is going to say now is “Oh happy. I guess you just weren`t funny enough”.
I turn around and face the seats, trying to get eye contact with a lady. I crave human connection so much. It would feel so good if she would just look me in the eye for a second. It would be like a proof that I am here and people notice. But she doesnt. Maybe she`s too caught up in her own thoughts. Maybe she questions her own existence just like me.
The doors open, she gets up and leaves. A deep sigh is escaping my painted lips. Three guys are getting in, talking about a girl they danced with. The conversation caughts my attention. Sounds like they were at a dance club or something. I`ve never been at one, so I try to hear all the details about how a normal guy would manage to make out with a girl. I really could need some good advice, but after only a few seconds I realize that the guys must be drunk. One of them claims that the girl was in love with him, while his buddy says it aint true. Nothing to learn here.
It is now that I realized that there is a pretty girl sitting across me. “Want some french fries?” one of the drunk guys asks her and the way he does so makes me feel uncomfortable.  Him trying to get her attention feels wrong.
“Helloooo?” .
“No, thank you” The girl seems annoyed. “They`re real good!”  he says, before he starts throwing the food at her.  “C`mon” the other one says “He`s being nice to you”.
The girl just wants to read her book. Why would they even bother her? I have never been on a date before but this sure isnt how I woud treat a woman. I would try to be a gentleman. To become a beautiful memory which she writes down in her diary when the day is done. I want to become a romanic page in a womans diary. A poem. A lover.
I take a look at the cover of what she is reading. Alice in wonderland. I like that. Alice knew how to create a world of her own. Reality couldnt bother her anymore. But her dream world did. I guess there is just no way to escape your own mind.
I get nervous, noticing that she makes eye contact with me. I was longing for eye contact just minutes ago but now that this pretty girl looks right at me I`m sweating.  I guess she wants me to say something to them. To step in and tell them to leave her the fuck alone. The friendly clown looks like he could help her out. And I want to. I want to stop them so bad. I want to get up to those guys and tell them to fuck off. To leave the girl alone with her book, Alice and her imagination. But my body won`t let me. I am frozen. My legs won`t move. I`m just sitting there. What kinda man am I, to not help her out? Just a sad clown on the subway. Nothing more. All I wanna do is cry.
And there it comes….. hmmm... haha. I shake my head. No. please not now. Not in front of a pretty girl and some bullies. This is bad. I`m in deep shit now.  I can`t hold it back. The pain. The urge to cry, to shout out. To scream.
The laughter. Its making its way up my throath again. I want it to stop! At the same time there is something inside of me that acually thinks that this is funny. Those drunk idiots trying to impress a girl by throwing french fries at her and I`m actually hoping to learn something here when they came in. What a joke.
I can tell  by their dirty looks that I already caught attention . The wrong kinda attention. the kind of attention I`ve never asked for. Leave me alone to cry.
“Is something funny, asshole?” his voice is hurting me. I try to tell him that he should ignore my laughter by gestures, but he doesnt get it. I guess the girl is scared of me now which makes it all so much worse.. She passes me by,disappearing, as the guys throws stuff at her “Bitch!”
Hahahahhahahah. I reach the point of pain right now. My throath feels sore from trying to hold it back.  My heart tired from asking myself why I am still laughing.
And just as the pain starts to spread its fire on my insides, the guy comes up to me, starting to sing. I know that song. I know it well.  “Isnt it rich? Are we a pair? Me here at last on the ground. You in mid air. Send in the clowns.”
A chalkboard.  Chairs. That smell. My teacher looking at me like i´m a freak. Fists. And more fists.
With every step he comes closer I get flashbacks from getting bullied at scool. The look in his face. in his eyes. I know that kinda look. He`s a fucking bully. And I`m his victim.  Nothing new I know. But that song…it really gets me. I love Frank Sinatra. His music means so much to me. It hurts that this guy is using it against me like a weapon.
“Isnt it bliss. Dont you appprove? One who keeps tearing around, one who cant move?”
Yeah….thats right……hahahahhaah I CANT move while you are dancing around like an idiot. Hurting me. Do you have any idea how much you are hurting me? Look at my face. I´m hurt. I`m in pain. But people never notice and you keep on dancing. You`re the one who is laughing. Not me. I`m crying while I have to listen to your terrible interpretation of Send in the clowns.  You can`t even carry a fucking tune!!!!
“Send in the cloooooowwwnnnsss” he sings, his eyes focused on me in a disgusting way, while the other one is sitting down next to me. I feel intimitated as he grabs my Carnival wig, exposing my real hair , while I cant stop laughing with pain in my eyes. Not the wig. Please not the wig. I need it. I cant afford another one and I have to find a new job as a clown soon.
“There ought to be CLOOOOOOOWWWWNNSSS…..” the first one looks at me in anger, the second one putting my wig on, laughing right into my face. I can smell the alcohol in his breath. The way he laughs at me. So rude. Just like back in scool. I`m back in scool. This is a nightmare.  Why would they want to hurt me? Don`t they realize I just want to be left alone?  I wish they would go away. Why is no one else around? But I guess I dont deserve someone saving me. I wasnt even able to hold them back from annoying the girl.
“So tell us buddy. Whats so fuckin funny?”
“Nothing!”. Finally my chance to explain myself.
Hahahhahahah “I have….I have a condition” I try to catch my breath. Its so hard to breathe, so hard to talk between the laughs. My hand reaches for the card. I  have to read it out loud, so they know.
Its too late.
“I´ll tell you what you have, asshole” he replies, grabbing my bag. I try to get it back, but the other is fast, holding me back. Grabbing me violently from behind, while the first one tries to attack me. I cant belive this is happenening.
I cant use my arms. This is worse than being handcuffed. I kick the guy in front of me. Kinda shocked I was able to make a move.
“We got a kicker, huh?” he says. “Hold him steady, hold him steady” he screams, right fore he punshes me right in the face ,so hard that the other one lets go of me. The next thing I feel is hitting the ground. Hard.  Lying there with a sharp pain that makes its way althrouh my body. I lie on my right side. My ribs hurt´. My head is pounding, hands  touching the dirty ground, trying to figure out if this is really happening ? I cant move. Freezemode is taking over. . I just cant do anything but take it like a good, little boy.
I`m a kid. Just a kid again. And its dark. And I dont know where I am. Or what day it is.
“Stay down,freak!“
Happy
Freak
Arthur, my name is Arthur.
They kick me in the back.Harder. All three of them now.  
For a moment I am afraid they will kick me to death. Three guys and some clown, paralyzed on the floor? I could definitaly die in here and no one will ever know. I`m not afarid of dying. But this isnt how I want to go. Not on the floor. Not while getting kicked by some assholes. They would step over my dead body and I would remain invisible..I cant let them do this to me. Not again.
Is this my inner voice talking? The one I used to feel lately? Is this the blurry part of my reflection?
I feel my left  arm moving and  remember the gun. The fucking gun Randall gave to me. The weapon that brought me nothing but trouble. Maybe this thing will be good for something eventually. Maybe it will save my life. Well Randall. Sorry for ruin your plan.
Those guys will get what they deserve now.
Bang! Bang!
That was fast. One is already on the ground.
Bang! Bang!
I never thought it could be so easy to defend yourself.
The other one is hitting the subway door.
There is blood but  no time to take a look at it. The third one tries to run away as I fire the gun one more time. I only caught his leg. He`s liping, as I grab my stuff, trying to catch my breath. To get my thoughts straight. The gun in my hand. God. there is a gun in my hand. Still. For a brief moment I seem to lose all orientation. Did i just killed someone? What should I do now? What about the third one? My mind is all over the place.
Breathe, Arthur. Breathe. I have a lump in my throath. Not sure if from the laughing or from the panic.
The sound of the guy banging against the subway door awakens me from my thoughts. The door opens and he tries to get away. But he won`t. I`m a fast runner and he can barely walk. I have to finish this now. Just one more guy. I have to bring this to an end. One more shot. He falls to the ground.
How does it feel there, on the dirty ground? Can you taste the concrete? Because I did.
Can you feel the cold against your aching bones? Well, I did. And it was crawling up its way on my insides.
You killed me first.
Every single one of you bullies.
You killed my hopes and dreams.
My innocence.
This is what you finally get.
Do you see me now?
Can you feel, that I am real?
Because I am.
And so is this gun.
I ran up close to him as he screams, trying to crawl closer to the stairs.
No one heard MY whimpers when I thought I was  almost dying in the alley.
I fire the gun. Bang Bang Bang. Until there are no bullets left. Until he doesnt move anymore.
Freeze mode, huh? How does it feel?
One who keeps tearing around. One who cant move.
And then… silence.
Exept the noise in my ears. I take a short look at the body lying in front of me. He really is dead. Huh. . Kinda surprising what a gun can do.
I press my hand against my ears. That noise.  I hope there will be music again, soon.
I take a look around. No one is there. Time to grab my stuff and get gone.
I ran up the stairs as fast as I can and  feel myself changing with every step I take, with every short breath I become something.
There is a glow inside, as I run into an unknown desitination, my shadow ahead of myself
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horansqueen · 4 years
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You & Me : chapter 21
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A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA
Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS
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CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20
NOTES:
-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.
- notes: thank you for the comments and notes to those who still send them! it means a lot to me. i hope this chapter isnt disappointing!
if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)
requests! : MAJOR SPOILERS! i even added one that i got for AM Conversations lol so yep! keep sending them! the more i get, the longer this story will be lol!
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Chapter 21 : His chapter
NIALL
The way we had made love kept playing over and over in my head but what I was really obsessed with was how she looked, wearing only my shirt (not even panties), sitting in the couch as she ate the meal I had prepared. She had almost choked on the rice when something funny happened in the movie we were watching and I never really noticed how endearing it was... how adorable she was. Now that we had had sex a few times, I could see a bit clearer. I was still horny for her and was ready to go whenever she wanted to, but I could also realize the little things I had missed. The way her nose raised up when I teased her about her clumsiness, the way her face lighted up when she was excited (she would even sometimes make a few small jumps), the way she bit her bottom lip when she was trying not to laugh, and even the messy state her hair was in when she'd wake up in the morning. I could make a list of all the things she did that I adored and sometimes, I spent half an hour actually listing her cute behaviors in my head.
I knew she was busy these days and I didn't want to bother her but I couldn't help but sent her a few text messages through the days. She didn't seem to bother, she even answered me quite quickly, but on friday, she replied with a message that sort of got to me.
'Did you ever have a talk with Louis about the argument you two had?'
In fact, we had not and I knew that since a few days had passed, we were both calm now and could have a discussion without risking to jump at each other's throat. It was not like me to be violent anyway but Louis knew me well and he knew exactly on which button to press to anger me. I sent him a quick text message, inviting him over and got up to check if I had enough beer left for the night. My phone beeped and I chuckled at his answer that consisted of a smiley emoji showing his teeth and the words 'On my way' written with a few exclamation points.
I quickly sent Olivia a message to tell her about it and then licked my lips before pressing them together and typing something else.
'I miss you, petal, send a selfie.'
I waited about a minute and smiled when I saw the picture of her doing a pouty face with El and Julie doing the same behind her and I realized that Louis was either stuck with the 3 girls and was glad to escape to come to my place, or he was alone by himself at his house and I was saving him from boredom. Either way, it made me laugh and I hesitated but decided to send her an other message.
'Love that selfie but when you have time, you should send me an other kind of selfie 😏'
'😂😂😂 Perv!'
I laughed and put my phone away before rummaging through my pantry to find chips and candies and brought everything to the living room along with beers before the doorbell rang. I breathed in and walked up to it, opening it slowly only to see one of my best friends waiting for me on the other side. He shook his eyebrows and the left corner of his lips curled into an amused smile.
"Hey Neil." he let out, making me smile too. "Thanks for inviting me. Livi said I should bring you this."
He moved his hand up and I noticed he was holding two bottles, one of vodka and one of jack daniels, in-between his fingers. I chuckled and moved away to let him in, following him to the living room. He put the bottles on the coffee table and turned to me before we hugged each other.
"I'm sorry Niall, I should have told you."
"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have been so pissed about it."
We pulled away and Louis raised his eyebrows before rushing to the kitchen and coming back with two glasses. He poured vodka in both and handed me one before clinking his against mine.
"To neverending friendship." he let out, making me smile. "Nothing can break this bond yea?"
I smiled and nodded, licking my lips. "Yea."
We sat together and he opened a beer. I stared at him as he dropped the cap on the coffee table and leaned against the couch before turning to look at me. I didn't know if he was waiting for me to say something but I just grabbed my beer too and took a sip.
"I know I shouldn't have had sex with your ex girlfriend, Niall. " he pointed out after a while. "I just... we became very close, and it's the only way we found not to throw ourselves at random people in bars and shit. I mean I love my son more than anything in the world, but that wasn't planned and I didn't want something like that to happen again. I mean it was a baby, and it was good news, but it could have been something bad, you know?"
It didn't make much sense to me but I kept quiet, curious to hear all he had to say about that.
"It really just happened. The first time we did it she was... so sad. I had just learned that I was going to be a dad, and we both didn't know how to cope with that."
"Who had the idea?" I asked, surprised that those words even came out of my mouth and regretting them right after. I wanted to know but at the same time, i didn't.
Louis sighed but kept looking in my eyes. "Hers, I guess." he shrugged. "But also not really. It's complicated. She proposed it, changed her mind, and I insisted. She said It was the best way to stop hurting for a few hours and honestly Niall, she was right. Every time we needed to tone down the pain in the next few months, that's how we did it. It was a bad way to handle it I mean, we went to therapy later and the more we healed, the less we fucked."
Quickly, I swallowed my beer, emptying it and putting it a bit roughly on the coffee table before grabbing the glass and pouring myself more vodka. I could feel Louis' eyes on me as I took a long sip of it and he sighed.
"I'm sorry, Niall."
"I just can't believe you choked my ex girlfriend." I pointed out in a low tone. "You called her names. You made her moan and cum. But the worst of all, Louis, is that you became so close to her that you guys can just look at each other and know exactly what the other is thinking."
I didn't say more but I knew that it also meant that in bed, he knew exactly what she liked. He knew exactly how to turn her on, how to touch her to give her pleasure, how to make her shake beneath him. He had seen her in a vulnerable state that I wished I was the only one who saw. I wanted to be the only one to read her that way, whether it was sexually or romantically.
"You're her best friend now and I'm not." I mumbled. "I'm nothing."
I swallowed the rest of my glass, feeling suddenly my whole body on fire but I didn't know if it was because of anger or because of the alcohol. Perhaps, a bit of both.
"I won't lie to you, Niall. She's my best friend. She's my other half." he shook his head. "But it's just friendship. It means a lot, but we don't have romantic love for each other. The special connection we have is all about friendship. A deep one alright, but still."
"You don't get it." I scoffed, looking down at my glass as I felt myself get slightly dizzy. "She used to have that connection with me."
I felt Louis move on the couch and he got closer, still holding his glass but he waited until I looked up in his eyes to talk.
"No, what you had was stronger than that. The connection you two had, Niall, was stronger than what me and her have. And you're the one who broke it. It'll come back, I can feel it. But you're gonna have to work for it. She was hurt, and even if I know she loves you, she's so scared."
He took a pause as I let the words he spoke sink in.
"I don't think you realize what happened after you broke up with her, Niall. She was broken. She was like a zombie, numb and lost. She lost her boyfriend and her best friend at the same time. The person she loves the most in the world. You're still that person so... fight. And don't hurt her again because I swear I'm going to kill you."
"Did she date anyone else?"
Louis sighed and finished his beer before filling our glasses again. Waiting for his answers every single time I asked a question was driving me crazy.
"Yea, some girl she met I can't remember where." he shrugged. "It was not serious because we didn't..." he stopped himself and looked up in my eyes. "We didn't stop having sex while she was with her. I mean I'm not even sure they were official, I never asked and she didn't want to talk about it."
"So she never cheated on Dylan with you." I pointed out, suddenly a bit stressed.
"No. And I never cheated on El. With anyone. You know me." he let out firmly. "She cheated on him with you though, didn't she."
"I guess. From what I understand, he knows or something. I just don't know what to do to make her choose me. I've tried telling her how I felt and I made her many promises, but she doesn't trust me, so I'm getting drunk tonight trying not to think too much of my ex girlfriend riding you and moaning your name, or about her getting married to an other famous prick."
"Who's the prick? You or me?"
I smiled and chuckled low. "Both."
I thought he'd throw something at me but he just laughed and shook his head.
"Liv has her secrets but I feel like you have yours, too." Louis let out as we drank our third glass. "You two are gonna have to talk to each other before anything can be official between you."
I groaned. "Talking is all we do. I told her so many things I thought I'd never have the guts, or the chance to tell her. I don't know if she can handle finding out about who I was when she was not around."
"She can." he argued. "Besides, it must not have been that bad since nothing appeared online."
I chuckled. "I'm normally quite good at being private, so don't be so sure."
"I'm sure it's nothing that can't be forgiven. I mean she slept with your best mate and you forgave her, so." he laughed, making me groan again and grimace.
I heard my phone beep again and grabbed it only to smile when I saw her name on the screen. I didn't know why everything that was linked to her made me happy but I knew I was a bit tipsy anyway. I quickly lost my smile when I saw the picture she sent me and my jaw dropped.
'For your eyes only 😉' was written right under a picture of her.
"Jesus Christ."
My eyes roamed on her body and I felt my heartbeats accelerate. She was naked in front of the mirror and her free hand was hiding her pussy. I wanted her so bad that I had to reach for my cock to adjust myself, almost forgetting that Louis was there with me. I thought about touching her and groaned low until Louis hit my knee with his.
"You're fucking drooling, what is it?"
With difficulty, I took my eyes off of my phone and looked up at my friend who had an amused smile on the lips. I turned the screen off and cleared my throat, grabbing my glass and swallowing what was left in it as Louis started laughing.
"It's Olivia isn't it?" he asked, his smile growing. "What did she say? No wait, did she send you a picture? She's supposed to be with my girlfriend right now!"
"Well trust me, your girlfriend is not on the picture. She was not even in the same room."
"No fucking way, she sent you a nude!"
I opened my lips to answer something cheeky but was cut by the sound of my phone again, feeling my heart jump in my chest at the thought of her messaging me but I frowned when I saw who it was coming from and made a small grimace. I should have blocked Heidi's number but I normally don't do that because I'm not a bitter person. Still, if she was to message me too much, I'd definitely have to do something. I clicked on it and it's the message I saw first.
'Told you. Call me.'
I frowned more and scrolled down to see the picture. It was Olivia wearing a wedding dress. I had no idea where the picture came from and I knew that I should try to find details on the picture that would give me clues but all I could focus on was her. Something jumped in my chest but unlike what Heidi probably thought, it was not sadness that I felt when I looked at that picture. I was pretty sure Heidi had sent that to me just to hurt me or start something between Olivia and I but I didn't care. All I cared about was all the thoughts running through in my mind. She looked incredible. She looked so beautiful I felt like I was witnessing something I was not supposed to, as if I was the future husband and that I was not allowed to see her in her wedding dress before she walked down the altar. I felt myself tear up and brought my hand to cover my mouth, swallowing hard and blinking a few times.
I knew Olivia was not sure she was going to get married to Dylan yet and for now, it was enough for me. I also knew she had to go through with the wedding plan and even if it hurt, it was still legit. I could wait a few weeks, right? After all, she waited years for me and never gave up.
"Olivia was shopping for her wedding dress today?" I just asked, my eyes glued to the picture.
"Yea, she was going with Julie and El." Louis confirmed as I shook my head. "Are you mad?"
"Mad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and looking up at him. "No, I'm just.. she looks amazing."
I turned my phone and Louis moved closer to check the picture before moving back and leaning against the couch again. I turned the screen to me again and sighed, closing my eyes and rubbing them roughly.
"So which picture do you prefer?" Louis asked with a smirk, making me roll my eyes.
"You want to know if my lust for her is stronger than my love for her?" I just asked. "The answer is no. I just feel a bit guilty for even seeing the one with the wedding dress."
"Who sent it to you?"
"Heidi." I replied with a grimace, making Louis roll his eyes.
"Never liked this girl. No idea what you saw in her. But she did that to hurt you, clearly."
"Well it doesn't, it just makes me want to..." I shook my head, searching for my words. "It makes me want to marry her."
With a chuckle, Louis moved closer to me again, his eyebrows raised in surprise and a small smile playing across his lips.
"Excuse me you said what?"
"I want to marry her. You know, have kids, live together, plan an actual future..."
"Who are you and what did you do with me mate?"
"Shut up!" I groaned before chuckling, throwing the untouched bag of chips at him.
He just caught it, opened it and took a handful of chips that he brought to his mouth.
"Yuh shoo tah uh." he muttered as I rolled my eyes, waiting for him to swallow. "You really should tell her." he repeated.
"I don't know how to tell her I love her anymore. I don't know how to prove to her that she's the only one I need and that I'll never break her heart again. That I will never leave, no matter what happens."
I knew I was getting drunk by the minute but I still grabbed my glass and poured more alcohol in it without checking from which bottle it was from. I drank it as I shook my leg, racking my brain to find a way to show her that I meant it. I jumped off the couch and felt suddenly dizzy and held myself on the couch, making Louis laugh.
"Mate, sit back down, you're drunk."
"Nooo no, I know how to make her realize how much she means to me!"
Louis frowned but I ignored him, rushing to my room and searching through a box of my old stuff. It took me about ten minutes but I finally found an old letter Olivia had written me when we were teens and brought it back, giving it to Louis with a big smile. I stood next to him with a large smile as he read it and finally, he looked up at me and chuckled.
"Okay she wrote you letters like that and you didn't know she was in love with you?" he just said with an other chuckle. "Mate, you need someone to hit you behind the head. I can do it if you want me to."
"No, Tommo. You don't get it." I grabbed the paper from his hands and turned it around, pointing at the bottom. "There's her name. In her own handwriting."
Louis frowned, then realized and finally, his eyes got bigger and he got up, grabbing both my shoulders and raising his eyebrows before shaking me slightly.
"Niall, you never ever wanted a tattoo in your life!" he pointed out. "Besides, you're drunk, no one will agree to tattoo you!"
"Oh but you know tattoo artists that will anyway yea? I'm counting on you!"
He stared at me for a few minutes and I brought my hands together in a way to beg him. He ended up rolling his eyes with a smile, making mine grow even more.
"Fine! But if you regret it tomorrow, don't you fucking blame me!"
I barely remembered anything, from the way the needles felt to the final result but when Louis drove us back home, he kept glancing at me. The window was down and the cool wind of the night helped me sober up. I still didn't regret it but I knew it was a possibility when I'd wake up. I'd deal with it in the morning though, I was getting a bit too tired to think about it.
"Did it hurt?"
"Not really. Perhaps I was too drunk to feel it." I replied with a shrug, leaning my head on the seat. "You think she'll realize how much I love her with that tattoo?"
"First off, you're gonna have to show her. It's super small, and it's in a spot no one can see unless you're naked I mean, why did you want it there?" Louis frowned before shaking his head. "Anyway, not the point. She already knows you love her. So do I think this tattoo will suddenly bring her trust in you back? No. But it'll definitely entertain her."
I groaned again. "Shut up."
"Hey, I'm just so happy I got to witness that once in my life. Pretty sure it's the only tattoo you'll ever get. It's an honor for me, thank you, Neil."
"I hate you."
He was right, I had chosen a spot no one could see, at the top of my thigh, near my stomach. I've never been a fan of tattoos and I couldn't find a place to put it that wouldn't be obvious and the only other places that people never see would have given her a very wrong impression of my intentions. I could feel it burn on my skin and unlike what I thought, It didn't make me feel weird. Louis was right, it was a very small tattoo, not worth writing home about, but everyone who knew me was aware that it did mean something.
Louis parked and we walked inside in silence but he stopped near the door and patted my shoulder gently.
"I think I'm gonna leave." he just said in a low tone. "Do you need help to clean or anything?"
I shook my head and grabbed my phone, checking her picture again and surprisingly, it was the wedding dress one. I pressed my lips together and Louis moved closer, his hand squeezing my shoulder this time.
"Do you want me to call her for you?" he asked in a gentle tone. "Maybe she'd want to spend the night here? I'll even give her a ride if she wants."
I looked at my friend and felt a wave of affection for him. Knowing he was there for me and that he cared made me feel better. When I broke up with Olivia, Louis had disappeared and he hadn't been much present until I ran into her again. Now, it felt like he was back in my life for real and I liked it.
"I don't know..."
I was not sure. I wanted her with me, and the craving was intense, but I didn't want her to feel like she had to take care of me again. Still, the thought of holding her in my arms was so hard it made a shiver cross my back.
"I started writing songs for a new album." I let out randomly. "All the fucking songs are about her."
Louis looked at me for a few seconds and sighed. "Tell her, Niall. Do it." He grabbed his phone and clicked on something before bringing the phone to his ear.
"Hey love, I'm with Niall right now and he really wants to see you." Louis looked up at me as I rolled my eyes and he smirked. "Why didn't he call you himself?" He took the phone away from his mouth and whispered to me. "She says you never replied to her last text message."
I closed my eyes, remembering the nude she sent me and let out a low curse word, feeling suddenly like an ass and hoping she didn't think I didn't enjoy looking at her naked.
"No darling," Louis continued. "He was too shy to call you. And he didn't answer your text because he was too busy jerking off to it."
I felt my heart jump in my chest and hit his arm a bit roughly but it only made him smile more. I closed my eyes and grunted low, hearing Louis say a bunch of 'Mmhm''s before saying goodbye and hanging up.
"She'll be there in half an hour." he sent me a satisfied smile. "I mean she said 15 minutes but, you know her."
I remained motionless for a few seconds, just looking at my friend, and finally, I brought him into a hug that he quickly answered. I moved my chin down, trying not to cry, and just closed my eyes.
"I know you love her, mate. And I think you two are soulmates." he admitted in a low tone. "Fight for it. Get her back. And then, never let her go."
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tinkdw · 7 years
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What if Cas is back, but the reason for the season 4 sex hair and the older style of trench coat is that they're symbolising a return to that character, as in: he thinks he's back and himself, but he's being mind controlled again. Something about the way he's been around Jack is raising a red flag for me, and the empty is probably coming back somehow. The Empty wants sleep, and it knows Jack could wake it up again, we have motivation. And it doesn't erase Cas' character development.
I kinda went deep on all my thought processes here because of a discussion I just had about it so under the cut if anyone is interested in my overall pov of why this is not the case but I really really don’t want to open discourse as I thought this was done and it isnt and I’m just too exhausted I just want to flail about gross cockles and revel in the best episode of Supernatural in years ahead of the bore fest next week. Let me lie in peace.
Maybe. I have just been chatting to someone about this because I just wholeheartedly have seen everything so far as confirming that Cas was in no way brainwashed in 12x19 and didn’t even contemplate that this was up for debate, like, I was so sure that this was confirmed I was confused when apparently it’s not. So I had to have a discussion with someone about it to understand where there could still be seen to be ambiguity.
I mean I still don’t really get it but if that’s the case then sure. If so then he will of course break away from it, I just don’t know how this works for Jack’s story or how this works with the metaphorical Empty/depression arc, being reborn etc.
It just isn’t the top level reading for me so I can go with it if it happens of course because then it will be the obvious top level reading, it’s just not what I see with what we have right now.
I don’t really see the red flag around Jack? There is nothing that is “not Cas” or that doesn’t link Jack to Sam regarding his powers? Cas always puts duty and the big picture first. That’s not new. That’s like… the core trait of his character over the seasons. It’s something he has to break away from *ahem Jack is the tool for this and that only works if it’s his choice to behave like this towards him to then let go in the end*. He’s put the big picture before Dean numerous times and in season 4 he was not brainwashed anyway per se, he was led to believe certain things but he wholeheartedly WANTED TO BELIEVE them because when he admitted he didn’t he was DOUBTFUL. That doesn’t happen if you’re mind controlled. It was his choice (based on bullshit reasons and having his memory wiped time and time again) but he wasn’t mind controlled, he wasn’t a sock puppet. It was his choice (based on bad intel), then it wasn’t when he had new information and got to know Dean who made him feel things that were under the surface, bubbling to get out.
So yeah he could be season 4 Cas it’s true, if he believes so strongly in the fact that Jack can do good, it’s just that from season 4 to 5 Cas chooses a different mission, he chooses Free Will and to not be assreamed / reprogrammed etc. I just…. yeah this still fits exactly our season 12/13 story, that Cas is choosing to follow this mission out of choice.
Ultimately it comes down to is he season 4 Cas who believes something that is WRONG or is he season 5 Cas who believes something that is RIGHT? Where did Team Free Will start? What did it rest on? Hm… that’s why I see it as a mix of both, but more season 5.
Sam and Dean are now on board the Jack can be good wagon too? I mean? Is this not a pretty clear show that Cas was not mind controlled if they, out of choice, now choose the same thing? That Cas did in fact come back with a win? That they are Team Free Will 2.0 ? Doesn’t that completely negate this concept if it’s based on mind control and a lie?
Why would Cas believe this based on a lie and Sam and Dean based on truth? Why not all the same? Or does that mean that Sam and Dean are being influenced by Jack too? I just…. no?
What does that then mean for Sam and Dean and their being mirrored by Jack? It just… it doesn’t work if there’s elements of non-consent.
I mean I have this same argument about season 8 to be fair, where I really do not believe the Angel Tablet has any “hold” over Cas. He CHOOSES to protect the tablet from everyone, including the Winchesters, because he thinks he might put them in danger by being near it I’m sure too, but also because it’s a core trait of his at that point to take on all the burden, to care so much about duty, to want to do the right thing ALONE and not what he wants, which would be to stay with the Winchesters. 
He has to go off alone and not with the boys because a core trait of the show is that when all three of them work together they WIN and they couldn’t win for PLOT so they had to split up. Cas had to have an awful event happen to him as “retribution” for his bad choice. I mean…. parallel?
I mean this is a running theme?! So taking this away from Cas both times just takes away from his own story and his growth and the fact that in the END they will CHOOSE to work together. This only really works if the past times they choose to work apart, otherwise they don’t learn a lesson?
What’s a story without character growth? I mean I exaggerate because of course there are other parts of character growth to show but this is huge?!
And if Jack is a mirror for all of TFW as I’ve been harping on about since forever then this is exactly how it should work. If Jack is not acting within his control but ending up being manipulated, if he is more than just subconsciously doing things like Jesse but actually full on mind controlling Cas to be his protector then idk how that fits for him as a Sam mirror.
However if he is just making mistakes whilst trying to do the right thing…it’s perfect? Choices, free will, independent decisions make a story. Brainwashing only works when someone breaks out of it to make their own decisions. What’s the lesson otherwise?
TL;DR I just really don’t like this concept of taking their free will and choice away from the characters, 
it negates the point of what happens due to these events from their story. It psychologically and metaphorically makes no sense if it is not their choice through free will to make these choices, be they bad or good, it MATTERS that they are their own choices. They then as characters own the consequences and the rest of the narrative in a way they just cannot if it’s not their own choice.
So yeah, I’m not saying no, never, it’s a totally wrong reading, just that I don’t see it myself as of yet. I am every week more validated in what I originally thought so I’m not changing my mind until there is a reason to. But then I will and I won’t be bitter about it, I don’t mind being wrong and that’s why I’m very opinionated and I love to speculate, because I don’t get defensive if I’m wrong, it’s not a competition of whose the most right, I just like to explain my ideas and discuss with people :)
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