#pov cordelia chase

[naoa-ao3]

The Lives We Live Now

Cordelia had had her fair share of nightmares in life. Growing up on a Hellmouth did that to you even if you weren't aware of it.

There was something in the Sunnydale air that just crept in through bedroom windows and slithered in ears and up noses and into open mouths.

Call it radiation from hell or whatever you want.

She had slept only marginally better since arriving in L.A.. She wasn't over top of a Hellmouth any more but life was hardly demon free.

Since teaming up with Angel and the others she had come to find herself in the kinds of situations she had once tried to avoid. The stuff she had once been so sure came only with Buffy Summers and their weird town.

She regretted some of that now. She had not been understanding or incredibly kind but she had been young and she had aged a lot since high school. Seeing your principal eaten by a demon worm had that kind of an effect and so too did losing all of your safety and inheritance.

College had once seemed natural for her.

She'd go and see some parties, snag a hunk and maybe walk away with a doctor or a lawyer for a husband.

Of course none of that had ever happened and a small part of her was glad about it. As hard as it was she liked the life she had now. She was doing something important and for the first time in her life she had come to really care about that.

Whatever she had had to give up. . . it was a world away now as she finished cleaning up around the hotel.

Angel was off patrolling with Gunn and she and Wesley had stayed to work only now at nearly three in the morning even he had put his head down, an ancient tome his pillow.

He'd probably kill himself if he drooled on it and as she cleared some of the mess of research books away she glanced at him.

He looked unhappy in his sleep and she paused for a moment, knowing he kept so very much to himself, knowing that Wesley was not always a happy person.

He shifted, smearing his face on the page slightly and making a noise.

"Oh Wesley. . ." She said, setting the book she had been holding aside and going to him.

To her surprise he was shaking slightly.

She hesitated and put a hand on his back. "Wes? Wake up." She said.

He shifted and fought it but then after a moment finally opened his eyes and she saw something pained and confused in them.

"Cordelia. . ." He whispered, lifting his head which was sticking to the page.

It tore and he froze.

"You looked like you weren't having a great dream." She said as he looked down in dismay.

He smoothed the page over. "I-I didn't mean to-" He seemed distracted and she felt for him.

"It's okay Wes, I think we've all had our fair share of nightmares."

"It wasn't a nightmare." He said rather abruptly, hands still trying to smooth the torn page out.

She watched him piteously and sighed, taking the book from him and getting the tape dispenser. "Whatever you call it." She said.

She had seen him after torture and pain, seen him probably the weakest next to Angel still holding his own. Whatever he dreamed she knew he was stronger than it. Even she was stronger than her dreams.

She always had been the strongest woman she knew.

He was quiet for a moment before straightening his glasses and looking at her. "I didn't. . . I didn't say anything did I?"

"You? No." She said, handing back the taped page. It wasn't perfect but at least he couldn't paw at it and make it any worse.

He nodded, still looking shaky.

"Hey, we see a lot of ugly stuff Wes. Don't beat yourself up."

In the dark he looked almost ashamed but that was Wesley, forever beating himself up over something small. Something he couldn't help.

"Cordelia. . ." He said as if he were about to explain something but his voice stopped in his throat and he just hung his head instead.

"You remember the sludge demon we took down last month? I dreamed about that thing for weeks." She said. "The smell alone."

He looked at her weakly then. "I didn't dream of a demon." He whispered softly, eyes returning to the now taped page of his book. He ran his fingers over her tape-job carefully this time and she didn't really know what to say. Wesley had always tried to keep his problems to himself. This admittance was out of the ordinary.

She nodded, remembering him after Faith had tortured him.

"Sometimes the worst things aren't demons, I guess." She said softly, the room too dark around them.

He nodded, not meeting her eyes. He looked miserable and trapped in himself, he looked like someone lost.

"You should go home, we both should." She said, trying to stay kind despite the world they lived in.

"I don't. . ." He was quiet. "I'm sorry."

She didn't understand and yet doubted very much he was going to open up to her. That wasn't his way. "It's okay Wes. You just had a bad dream."

He nodded yet again and sat in defeat. "Cordelia. . . do you ever go to visit your father?" He asked. He sounded uncharactaristically small and she was thrown by the question.

"No, not really I mean he's the one that lost everything we had and turned us into the public laughing stock in Sunnydale right before my graduation."

He looked at her strangely. "But he is incarcerated here- in Los Angeles?"

She shrugged, not about to feel guilt or at least determined to try not to. "I'll see him eventually. Anyway mom made me go and see him after he first got arrested so it isn't like I haven't been." She felt a little flinty. Even now her mother had a hard time seeing past the vapid, cruel girl she had been and the further she got from that girl the harder it had become to relate to her mother.

He nodded. "I haven't been home since before I came to Sunnydale." He said, voice soft in the darkness.

She frowned. "Hell of a severance package." She said.

He nodded and swallowed. "Some part of me never wants to go back." He looked at her as if he'd just revealed something horrid about himself and was waiting for her judgement.

She didn't have any to give.

"Then don't." She said. "I don't have a reason to go back to Sunnydale."

"I made such a mess of things." He said, shaking his head miserably.

"Wes, you're feeling sorry for yourself. You messed up in Sunnydale but it's not like Buffy or Faith tried to make it easy for you. Even Giles didn't."

He looked at her.

"What? You think I didn't notice? Please Mister, I had my eye on you back then. I saw."

A faint ghost of a smile crossed his lips. "I was rather enamored with you."

"Of course you were." She winked. "But we're not there anymore Wes. We have our own lives here. I don't even know if we're the same people."

"We're the same people." He said softly. "Just little wiser."

"And a lot older." She said, feeling far away.

He nodded again and they were silent.

It was past three in the morning now and Angel would be back in a few hours' time. They needed to be home and in their beds, ready to do the daylight work their boss couldn't.

"Come on, pack up. We'll walk home together."

He nodded and closed the book, torn page and tape disappearing among it's siblings and after a last lingering touch, he put it aside and followed her out.

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I made a post about some Bangel and Cangel parallels I've noticed (not all of them that exist, just some ones--for instance--that I've picked up on while reading the tie-in books), that I'll link at the bottom of this post... but with picture limit, I couldn't mention my last point in it, so I decided to just make a separate post about it here. So here it is.

Though, unfortunately, this one deals with the sensitive topic of Angel saving both Buffy and Cordelia from sexual assault -le sigh-

Anyway, starting out, here's the moment with Cordelia (as I think that in the chronology of the S3 books, that one happens first?).

Edit: I also respectfully ask that the shippers of both ships be kind to each other here, please. Thank you.

Cordelia:

Buffy:

[voices-not-echoes]

i'm writing buffy fic again and somehow in the kendra-drusilla fic i've ended up writing as cordelia. i don't know how, i don't know why, but i'm having a good time

[im-out-of-it]

when I first read that sanctuary scene, I thought it was so romantic and perfect. now rereading it, and I don’t think it’s that perfect. it’s high key underwhelming? you think for all of Thomas’s angst, the shit Alastair has been dealing with (the loss of his father) that you would get a little more than that. THESE TWO HAVE BEEN SECRETLY FALLING IN LOVE AND THIS IS THEIR MOMENT!!!!! I don’t know, I just think it could’ve been more. I would have loved to see Alastair’s pov and how he feels about the whole thing. instead we hardly get anything and what we do get is James and Cordelia’s stuff with belial which I can’t for the fuck of me care about lmao

I will say something a bit positive about this book and about CC’s writing. Thomas and Alastair are done a little bit better than how she wrote Malec. you can tell she does not give a flying fuck about Malec. it’s so obvious the way she wrote them. and I don’t know if she actually cares about thomastair or just trying to “represent” them better or what. and it’s not perfect writing but I do think it’s written a bit better than how Malec was written

and it’s very underwhelming and vexing how she will spend pages and pages over the most boring and insufferable straight couples but when it comes to the big stuff with an lgbt+ couples, the love scenes will hardly be a page long, some of the pov are atrociously done, and the whole thing kinda feels underwhelming most of the time. and this is just my opinion but it feels like she always puts so much more effort into her heterosexual relationships. thomastair, they do get more page time in the third book but it feels like it’s rushed because she doesn’t spend enough time in the first two installments.

with Malec: it’s fucking terrible writing. hardly gives them a voice, writes Alec as biphobic, magnus being hundreds of years old but can’t communicate, chases teenage Alec, almost makes Alec feel bad for not coming out, and blames their whole breakup on Alex’s insecurities, like it’s just lazy writing. and she could do better because the eldest curses isn’t that bad. but she focuses all her attention on the herondales and her insufferable couples that she puts all the other interesting and fascinating characters in the backseat. so you’re just sitting there like this could’ve been better if you weren’t so obsessed and didn’t self insert lmao I 10000000000000% believe CC is obsessed with jace. the amount of times she mentions his looks is a bit creepy with how obsessed she is

I don’t know so maybe it’s just me but it could’ve been better if she focused her sights on other characters for once. I just love thomas and Alastair so much that I’m patiently here thinking GIVE THEM MORE ATTENTION 👏🏼

[buffster]

Are You Now or Have You Ever Been (ATS 2.02)

This is part of my ongoing Buffyverse Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the shows. You can find the BTVS list here and the ATS list here. Gifs are not mine.

I know I said I've seen Angel the once, but I swear I've seen this particular episode ten times. But it's a good episode! I always enjoy a look into Angel's past.

This is the episode in which we find the Hyperion Hotel, home for our protagonists over the next few seasons. A hotel is a pretty brilliant choice for them. There's plenty of rooms and hospitality for the needy. But first we gotta vanquish a baddy.

Over on Buffy, Spike's vampire nature is treated with disgust. But Angel is afforded a quiet respect, with Cordelia even bringing Angel blood (with a sprinkle of cinnamon) as she hands Wesley his tea. Angel keeps his cards close to his chest as he asks them to investigate the Hyperion.

We flash back to 1952, where we find the hotel thriving and buzzing about the mysterious resident...who happens to be Angel. Looks like he didn't always hide in alleys feeding on rats. There's lots of mysterious activity going on in the hotel, but this version of Angel has no interest in it. He's no hero.

We might have forgiven Angel for not chasing down hints of trouble, but then we see him outright ignore it even when it comes knocking. A young woman named Judy is clearly in trouble and being chased by a man. Angel gets his back up when the man gets cocky with him and beats him up a bit, but he's still not interested in truly helping.

One of the things that most draws me to Angel as a character is his apathy towards other people. He seems to genuinely struggle to like them, which you don't normally get in a main character. You get the sense people tend to let him down, and the version of him we see here is resigned to being an apathetic loner. He barely blinks when he hears a gunshot next door.

He also ignores the hotel guests as they become increasingly paranoid. Judy practically forces her life story on him: her mother was black and she's been passing her whole life. Things were going well and she was set to get married, but then the bank she worked at discovered her secret and fired her. Then her fiancée dumped her. Judy stole a bunch of money from the bank and fled. Her persistence pays off and Angel decides to help her.

Cordelia: A Thesulac. Paranoia demon. Whispers to its victims, feeds on their innate insecurities.

If things had gone differently, this event might have been a turning point for Angel. He decided to help the humans and if it had worked he might have found a real sense of purpose. Instead he was betrayed.

The first time I watched this through I understood Angel's POV. He was going to help Judy and she turned on him like that? People, man! But on the tenth watch I got to thinking...can we really blame her in this case? She was being victimized by a demon! Unless I'm mistaken, each of the characters is pushed to irrationality by a demonic force that feeds on their darkest thoughts. Judy especially seems like her true nature is optimistic--she apparently ignored the blood in Angel's room and thought if she gave the money back to the bank they'd forgive her. I think what Angel did here was pretty shitty.

Okay, the bellman was pretty shady though.

Back in the present, Angel calls everybody in to defeat the paranoia demon.

Gunn: "Orb Of Ramjarin please" makes it happen.

Wesley: Please. And do be careful. Ancient conjuring orbs are notoriously fragile.

Gunn: Now do I look like the kind of guy who doesn't know how to handle an ancient conjuring orb to you?

Little trouble with the new AI team member, it seems.

Back in 1952, the heartbreaking part of everyone at the hotel forming into a mob that's going to kill Angel is how not surprised he looks. He doesn't fight back as they throw a rope around his neck and push him off the balcony...but he wakes up looking pissed. The scene where he pulls himself up the rope was pretty cool. Revenge fantasy unlocked.

Thesulac: Well, I don't know about you, but I am stuffed! God, I love people, don't you? They feed me their worst, and I serve it right back to them. And the fear and the prejudice turn to certainty and hate -- and I take another bite! What a beautiful, beautiful dance!

Where're you going? You know you're paid up through the end of the week. Oh, you got your feelings hurt, didn't you? See now what happens when you stick your neck out for 'em? They throw a rope around it!

And you thought you'd made a friend. Newsflash: You had! That's what made her the yummiest morsel of all! You'd reached her, buddy! Restored her faith in people! Without you, she would've been just another appetizer. But you plumped her up good. Stuffed her with hope, filled her with gratitude. When she betrayed you, she betrayed everything! She's a meal that's going to last me a lifetime! You know, there's an entire hotel here just full of tortured souls who could really use your help. Whaddaya say?

Angel: Take 'em all.

What happened to Judy was really dark. Like...really dark. Poor woman has lived her whole life in that hotel, terrified to even leave the room. But this is a show about redemption. We're not shying away from the things Angel, or anyone else, has done.

At the end of her life, Judy asks for Angel's forgiveness. Poor woman.

In a show filled with second chances, it makes sense the Hyperion Hotel itself is going to get one. Angel declares that the hotel isn't a house of evil anymore. It's got to prove itself, just like our heroes.

Character Notes:

Angel: He's very offended when a shop owner thinks he was turned "north of thirty". Once again, there is a divide between Angel and the rest of AI. He tends to go off on his own while the others try and figure out what he's up to.

Wesley Wyndam-Pryce: The demon accuses him of being especially paranoid, which makes him paranoid. But Angel reassures him he didn't find him especially paranoid.

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the lowest percentage will be eliminated! propaganda under the cut:

fitzroy angursell and pali avramapul:

I’m pretty sure even the author thought they were straight and endgame when she started writing them. Although initially Pali is portrayed as the love of Fitzroy’s life so that you think you’re going to have to put up with this straight relationship, she’s later canonically confirmed aroace with a lot of subtext around two other women, while it becomes clear in later books that Fitzroy has a growing interest in another man. Tfw you are sure they’re going to kiss by the end of the book and then it turns out that previous marriage proposals were plausibly about friendship in the first place

oscar francois de jarjayes and andre grenadier:

Okay, so this might sound kind of weird but bear with me because I really think they should count. Oscar was afab but her father gave her a boy's name and raised her as a boy (by 18th century standards) because sexism and he had 5 daughters and decided she was going to be a son because they were a noble family and he wanted a son to become a high ranking military official because they're rich so they can just do that. Oscar joins the army and becomes Marie-Antoinette's personal guard. Her and childhood best friend Andre are very close through out the series (he supports her throughout the many scandals that she has to deal with because she works for the royal family) and at the end of the series it is revealed that they are in love, but they are both killed in the war before they can actually get together. The dying before they can be together might fall into the buried straights category but they relationship also has really queer energy because throughout the series it becomes apparent that Oscar usually Does Not Vibe with only the gender she assigned at birth. She sometimes refers to herself as a woman, sometimes refers to herself as a man, but her attitude is usually basically 'I'm a man, I'm a woman, I'm both, I'm neither, stop asking'. So I think they should count as straightbait because we find out that Oscar is nonbinary and Andre loves her no matter what her gender is (and then they die before they can get together).

abbie mills and ichabod crane:

They both start out as main characters, working together since the ep. 1. Next three seasons follow the regular m/f protagonist duo pattern: they need each other's help, there's chemistry going on, there are heartwrenching scenes and dramatic sacrifices, they learn they can only truly rely on each other - so the next step is to let them be together, right? Wrong. The next step is to let lt. Mills make a final sacrifice, which on top of killing the pairing insults her as a character - suddenly from the POV protagonist she started as she's demoted to secondary character who always was just there to be the main guy's support. There are some feelings acknowledged, but no confessions or promises exchanged during the final fleeting reunion. Three-seasons-worth of build-up and then she dies.

angel and cordelia chase:

They met as characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but their dynamic doesn't take off until the Angel spinoff Because the showrunners of Angel didn't go in with the idea of putting these two together, the characters' friendship was allowed to develop organically without the assumption of romance, which then made the realization of their feelings for each other more satisfying. Unfortunately the shadow of Bangel (Buffy x Angel) still held over Angel's character, so I think it was a hard sell at the time and didn't gain a lot of popularity in the years since. Both these two characters grew alongside each other, supported each other, and despite knowing that they loved each other, let each other go to pursue their destinies. A really underrated het pairing!

entrapta and hordak:

Heavily heavily heavily hinted/slow burn?

joseph cooper and amelia brand:

These two are explicitly set up as the male and female leads of the movie and shown to have a close relationship with each other, one where in any other movie I would have expected them to end up together by the end of the movie, especially since one of the central themes of Interstellar is love as a force that can change the universe. However, the two do not get together by the end of the movie and there is never any explicitly romantic scene between them.

akko kagari and andrew hanbridge:

Very typical hetero-love-interest introduction, rival vibes, aloof rich boy & headstrong "commoner" girl, learning to see each other's point of view, she dresses up for the first time in the series to sneak into his party to try to talk to him. Just classic 'ugh they're clearly gonna get together' but... they don't. Nothing romantic is ever explicit, and by s2 they're friends and that's it. there's no discussion or drama. they're good friends. literally shocked me. apparently a guy and girl who fit a bunch of romantic tropes... can just be friends

kurosaki ichigo and kuchiki rukia:

Oh man, where do I even begin? So, for some context, Bleach starts when Rukia (a shinigami) gets critically injured saving Ichigo from a monster, and she transfers her powers to him so he can finish it off. Instead of transferring half her powers as planned, however, she transfers all of them, which forces Ichigo to take over her job as a shinigami. During this time period, Rukia... lives in his closet. Yeah. The entire first arc of the manga is dedicated to their relationship, and while a lot of it is playful banter, Rukia's presence in Ichigo's life fundamentally changes it for the better. Rukia then gets kidnapped by the rest of the shinigami who aren't at all happy she gave her powers to a human, and the main plot ensues from there. Throughout the story, Rukia and Ichigo constantly save each other when they're at their worst. When Rukia thinks she deserves to die, Ichigo is there to tell her she deserves to live. When Ichigo is in a funk about his superpowered evil side, Rukia is there to snap him out of it (something his canon love interest explicitly realises she was unable to do). They share a sun/moon motif for crying out loud, and yet like that last sentence said... they don't end up together, but with other people instead. Yeah. No shade to the canon ships, but Ichiruki is peak straightbaiting, honestly. They have a lot of banter/chemistry, fundamentally change eachother's lives for the better, save each other when they're at their lowest, and have a very deliberate sun/moon dichotomy... but they both end up paired off with different characters instead asdfghkl

bow and glimmer:

They didn’t get together until the VERY END of the whole show and even then it was a little ambiguous (was it a BFF “I love you?” 🤷🏼‍♀️)

hardwon surefoot and moonshine cybin:

They’re DnD characters so they’re bi disasters canonically. Just not for each other The best way to describe Hardshine is this: “They’re soulmates” “Platonically or romantically?” “Yes” Literally they care so much about each other. Moonshine cured Hardwon’s vampirism by reincarnating him into a half elf and he told her “I’ve been half elf ever since I met you”. Moonshine is a high level elf druid which means she’ll basically live forever and literally the most emotional scene where she asks her mom “How long do half-elves live?”. Hardwon was always a fish out of water who never really fit in until he found Moonshine and the Crick. Are they dating? Queerplatonic partners? Siblings? Idk man they’re just in love it doesn’t matter how.

good luck everyone! now go vote!

[dawnssummers]

🔥

hello! <3 ok since you said i can pick any topic i will share my indulgent willow cordy s3 cheating arc vision... the opinion is that it should have happened. i did go into willow xander cheating arc here a little which was partly me projecting to be honest.

firstly i also think they should have kissed in the closet in school hard and i go back and forth on whether the s3 cordywillow timeline should include that. but generally i think yes. another bit of background is that i think cordy and willow had mutual repressed crushes on one another in primary school, around the time they both started being mean to one another and then by the time they get to sunnydale high both are quite concerned with boys and dating boys. except they both also gravitate towards buffy.

so you have a school hard kiss which they both outwardly dismiss and then cordy starts secretly dating xander and willow starts dating oz and they don't acknowledge it. willow and xander in homecoming are both hit by all this emotion + nostalgia when they see one another dressed up and i would take this scene and make it willow and cordelia... it can play out in the exact same way, where they kiss in the spur of the moment and it is quite self destructive because again both are insecure in their relationships with xander and oz. and scared of growing up, etc. because they have lived their lives in this small town where they have seen each other every day (kind of an extension of willow in graduation day saying she will miss harmony). cordelia in particular has all these dreams and she has confidence in herself but she also... doesn't? she clung to beauty and popularity and then let go of that to be friends with buffy but i think she still has this innate desire to make something of herself if that makes sense. she's a star! so it plays out in the same way as in the show, with the touches and making out that is hard to look at because of how foolish they are both being and the terrible music. but there's also an element of both of them having gay crises and all while buffy is having her own faith-induced crisis. this song is a point of reference for how i imagine it from cordy's pov i have thought about this a lot (i know you are a glee fan this is also such a quinn/faberry song <3) also 'cordelia bullied willow and it was mostly just her being uncomfortable with How Willow Made Her Feel but now they kiss a lot' – @butchrupertgiles when i once mentioned this.

in terms of Broader Impacts something else i thought of is that willow ALMOST tells buffy about the cheating in revelations after they find out angel is alive and then she gets scared. the layers that would be added if it were willow/cordy... then lover's walk where it all blows up a bit. leading to the wish where you can have cordy blaming buffy not just because she only started dating xander bc of buffy but also bc she had been trying to distance herself from 'freakiness' (= queerness, see also cordy's crush on buffy) and still like. ended up impaled and very lonely AND there's the fact willow tried to do a delusting spell and even afterwards got scared and did not pick her... and then the wish leads to anya being there (-> willow's consistent hostility towards anya born in part from jealousy towards how easily anya seems to fit in) which leads to doppelgangland which leads to willow actually considering that she might be kinda gay. finally it would have been fun for me to see cordelia chase kiss girls

[ao3feed-spuffy]

The seventeen-body problem

by JamesTheIceQueen

Ethan tries casting a spell that reveals soul mates on Giles. Predictably enough, it misses and hits Buffy. Chaos ensues.

Or: the world's largest polycule has dynamics more complex than a Habsburg family tree.

Words: 22002, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV), Angel: the Series

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Multi

Characters: Rupert Giles, Ethan Rayne, Tara Maclay, Willow Rosenberg, Faith Lehane, Buffy Summers, Spike (BtVS), Drusilla (BtVS), Angel (BtVS), Cordelia Chase, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Lilah Morgan, Winifred "Fred" Burkle, Charles Gunn, Illyria (AtS), Dawn Summers, Connor (AtS), Xander Harris, Anya Jenkins, Lorne | Krevlornswath

Relationships: Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne, Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Faith Lehane/Willow Rosenberg, Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers, Spike/Buffy Summers, Angel/Buffy Summers, Angel/Spike (BtVS), Angel/Cordelia Chase, Angel/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Lilah Morgan/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Illyria/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred "Fred" Burkle/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Charles Gunn/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred "Fred" Burkle/Charles Gunn/Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, Winifred "Fred" Burkle/Charles Gunn, Illyria/Dawn Summers, Xander Harris/Illyria, Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins, Drusilla/Spike (BtVS)

Additional Tags: Season/Series 07, Season/Series 04, Episode: s07e06 Him, Post-Episode: s04e04 Slouching Towards Betlehem, lots of relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, soul mates, But not in an AU way, It's a spell, Tara Maclay Lives, Cordelia Chase Lives, Winifred "Fred" Burkle Lives, Lilah Morgan Lives, Anya Jenkins Lives, In fact most people live, POV Lilah Morgan, Lilah makes friends with Gunn and Lorne, POV Buffy Summers, Minor POV Ethan Rayne, Minor POV Illyria, Illyria is fucking terrifying, Rated T for mentions of sexual content, Probably a lot more I could write here, but no triggers I can think of outside of stuff that has already happened in canon, Lorne is a therapist and can legally hold weddings, and you can't convince me otherwise, No beta we die like Lindsey

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/48012832

[cangelgifs]

Cangel Fic Recs in the Baby Connor Era

Vamp SmackDown by anneb Rating: NC-17 Summary: An answer at the Dracula/Angel challenge. * The Fang Gang and the Drac Pack cross paths in LA somehow. * Dracula tries to enthral Cordelia, but she doesn't bye it. * Include a flashback/ explanation to Angel and Drac's first meeting. * Bonus points if Spike is included.

Dick Clark with Extra Cheese by Kelly22 Rating: NC-17 Summary: “Something changed in Cordelia’s face. She quit frowning into her hands and looked up at him. He physically felt the moment when her eyes went all warm. She tilted her head to one side. “You think I’m beautiful?” she asked quietly.”

Cangel Appreciation Week Prompt: Fluff - by nikitadreams

Cangel Appreciation Week Prompt: Family - by nikitadreams

Raising Connor by NikitaDreams Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Summary: A series of shorts about raising baby Connor told mostly from the PoV of Cordelia Chase. Sweet family moments featuring the cast of AtS. (AU, no Groo return, no vision death or ascension, no Connor being kidnapped, etc) Pure self-indulgent fluff and romance and family feels.

Friends Should Sleep in Other Beds by GeckoGirl89 Rating: General Audiences Summary: Cordelia yawns and blinks her eyes open to a dark room. She stiffens when she feels a cool arm draped around her waist, before she remembers that she fell asleep next to Angel the night before.

This Time It’s Real by Anneb Rating: NC-17 Summary: Challenge Issued by Muff -Cordelia dies -Buffy and Angel get back together but Angel is not happy -Cordelia comes back from the dead -Buffy and Cordelia fight over Angel but have to work together to save the world -Scooby gang accepts Cordy back while the fang gang is hesitant on her return: reason for this must be revealed.

The Memories We Make by DamnSkippy Rating: PG Summary: Connor experiences his first Halloween.

Tell Me You Love Me by Carm Gonzalez Rating: NC-17 Summary: Pure fluff. Connor is not gone and Groo never came back. Buffy will also be mentioned.

Make Believe by AngelChase Rating: NC-17 Summary: Angel and Cordelia need to pretend they are a married couple 24/7.

So Many Faces: by ebonbird Rating: R Summary: Sequel to starlet2367's Looking For Love. After phone craziness, Angel rushes to Cordelia's.

When Good Spells Go Bad by Chelle Rating: PG Summary:  Luckylyn’s Bad Spell Challenge After the prom in Season 3 of Buffy,  Buffy convinces Willow to perform a spell to make Angel realize they  belong together and of course it all goes wrong. Past Angel goes to bed  at his mansion in Sunnydale and then wakes up with Cordy and Connor in  LA (this is the morning after Provider). While future Angel goes to bed  with Cordy and Connor and wakes up in past Sunnydale. He enlists the  help of the Scoobies so he can return to his family.

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead! by Misty Flores Rating: R Summary: Cordelia's thrown for a very unsettling loop when Angel, no longer caring about consequences, declares his intentions. Wackiness ensues.

The Waltz by LaLa247 Rating: NC-17 Summary: “Their waltz was breaking him down and making him go insane. Two steps forward to what could be, and three steps back to what could never be.”

Seperate Hearts by Califi Rating: NC-17 Summary: An enforced separation forces Cordy to face up to her true feelings for Angel.

A Mother's Love by Anneb Rating: R Warning: Very angsty. Cordy kidnaps Connor instead of Wesley.

Wavelengths by Lysa Rating: PG-13 BtVS Crossover: Angst/Humor Summary: Having dealt with Connor’s potential kidnappers, Angel finds that his greatest threat actually comes from Sunnydale.

How To Flirt by Princess Twilite Rating: R (for some sexual situations) Summary: Nothing too angsty, basically fluff. Set post Couplet, except in my world the prophecy never happened and Cordy didn't go off with Groo. Warning: Possessive behavior.

The Way They Tell It by Princess Twilite Rating: NC -17 Summary: Angel and Cordy tell the story of how they first got together. Humor/Fluff.

Snow Angel by Starlet2367 Rating: NC-17 Summary: Cordy, Angel, and Connor on vacation.

Another Word by ebonbird Rated: Fiction K A post 'Provider' vignette: Some of the awful things Cordelia's said about Angel no longer apply.

At the Beginning by Kelly22 Rating: PG Summary: Starts off at the end of Couplet, with Cordy walking out the door with Groo.

Advanced Technology by Ophelia Rating: G Summary: Angel doesn't know that Cordy can hear him over the baby monitor.

A Perfect Christmas? Not at Angel Investigations by Lexis Rating: G Summary: Cordelia and Angel think about their Christmas Day.

Lookin' For Love by Starlet2367 Rating: NC-17 Summary: "Let's just call it a bonus for all those years of putting up with me."

A Foolish Plan by psychofilly Rating: PG-13 Summary: He'd foolishly thought that the universe had taken it's boot off his neck long enough for him to make a play for it all.

After The Fall by Starlet2367 Rating: R. Summary: Cordy and Angel talk about the events of WITW. Angsty pining.

Waiting For The Miracle by Starlet2367 Rating: PG-13 Summary: Short fic that takes place after the end of Lullaby.

Bad Timing by Kelly22 Rating: PG-13 Summary: This story is set a little after Cordy comes back from vacation with Groo, except in my AU world, there was no bad father-devouring-son prophecy and no babies growing up in hell dimensions. So people still like Wesley and I guess Holtz and Justine ran off to the mid-west together, because they certainly aren’t rearing their ugly heads in MY story.

Baby's Day Out by zarah Rating: Author doesn't say. Summary: Cordy takes Connor to the mall.

Baby's First Words by Sunscorched Rating: PG-13 Summary: Baby Connor gets Cordy in trouble!

Bonding by Chrissy Rating: PG

Caught Up in the Past by Hidden Willow Rating: Author doesn't say. Summary: If Cordelia is too caught up in the past how will she be able to see what's right in front of her?

First Words by Kettricken Rating: Author doesn't say. Summary: Angel's child says his first words.

Item Number One by Natauni Rating: Author doesn't say. Summary: Her world, when it came down to it, was a matter of making sure she followed her lists.

Necessary Purchases by AngelsChilde Rating: G Summary: Cordelia tries her hand at cutting hair.

T-Ball Parents From Hell, Literally. by Nickle Rating: PG Summary: Probably the last two parents you’d want to see at a t-ball game. Just a little slice of life scene, mainly because this came to me a few hours ago while at a game myself. Pure silliness.

Teething by MexicanAlibi Rating: PG Summary: Angel and Cordy grow closer, as Baby!Connor slowly munches his way through Angel's hair products.

Teething 2 by MexicanAlibi Rating: PG Summary: Baby!Connor is still slowly munching his way through Angel's hair products, as Angel and Cordelia get a couple of unwanted visitors.

Puzzle Pieces by Lysa Rating: NC-17 Summary: Angel reflects on his response to Cordelia’s dating frenzy.

As the Clock Strikes by FanFreak611 Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Summary: Vignettes of an Angel Investigations New Year's Eve

Where the Love Light Gleams by FanFreak611 Rating: General Audiences Summary: It's Connor's first Christmas Eve and Cordelia can't remember the last time she's felt this peaceful.

New Day Dawning by Starlet2367 Rating: PG-13 Summary: Post-ep for Provider.

Surprises by Tonya Rating: PG Summary: Cordy and Angel travel to Sunnydale for a wedding.

[themadlostgirl]

Cordelia

*Gay shit.

Also I’ve just been writing so much stuff in 2nd person POV lately that I kept slipping into it here even though I’ve been doing 1st person for this sorta series so I decided, screw it! Everything is just gonna be 2nd person POV from now on.*

~~~

One thing you learn quickly when it comes to pirates is that you do not steal from them. Steal from a pirate and you are essentially signing your death sentence. What is a pirate without their treasure? A bunch of salty sailors with acute liver failure.

Maybe that was why the crew of the Jolly Roger were so mad and why they had all charged onto the beaches of Neverland looking for a fight.

You had been running around the island with the rest of the Lost Boys looking for the treasure chest Peter had stolen like you did the day before. None of you knew what was happening until a conch sounded from the south end of the island and you all dropped what you were doing to answer it. What you stumbled into was the crew of the Jolly Roger fighting the Lost Boys that had gotten there before you.

You immediately sprang into action and ran to help fight them back. You had just disarmed and knocked out one of the pirates when you saw a leather coat making a dash for the jungle. Not on your watch.

You chased after them. They stuck out like a sore thumb in that dark leather and plumed hat in this green jungle. Lucky for you. You could tell exactly where they were heading. You slowed down and changed course slightly. You made sure to keep pace and waited until finally they fell out of sight.

You laughed as the sound of cursing echoed through the jungle. "Oh dear oh dear," you said, approaching the pit the pirate had fallen into, "you really must watch where you're going around here."

A pair of bright blue eyes, clear and sparkling as the open sea itself stared back at you from under a mane of black curls. Oh...this was not what you were expecting.

"And here I thought I was the only girl in Neverland," you crouched down to get a better look at her.

"You damn dirty imp!" The pirate lady shouted, "once I get out of here--"

"Are you sure you're meant to be a pirate?" you interrupted her, "not to sound mean or anything but you're pretty young. About my age it looks. What are you doing on a ship full of gross adult pirate men?"

"I am Cordelia Jones, and once my father finds out that you--"

"Hook has a kid?!" You gaped. The thought just wasn't computing. What drunken barmaid made the mistake of sleeping with him? You could sort of see the resemblance. They had the same eyes and dark hair but that was where the similarities stopped. Obviously she must have taken after her mother or else she wouldn't be nearly this pretty.

"Aye," Cordelia fumed, "which means I am every bit as skilled and dangerous as he. So how about you get me out of here and I'll consider not skinning you alive like the codfish you are!"

"Dangerous, ha, that's a good one," You pretended to wipe a tear from your eye, "Listen Cordy--"

"Cordelia!"

"--I would love to help you out of this pit but considering you're a pirate and the daughter of Pan's biggest enemy I don't think that's gonna happen. Also, you keep threatening to kill me. Is that any way for new acquaintances to talk?"

"If you take me as a prisoner or harm me in any way then the vengeance of my father and our crew--"

"Oh for the love of the gods!" You groaned, "Stop! We outnumber your crew three to one, probably closer to ten to one after your foolhardy charge on the island today. If your dear father wants you back and keep his life then he is gonna have to either become very magical and powerful overnight, or make a deal with Pan. That is the only way you are getting out of here."

"You think you're real big stuff right now, don't you?"

"Well, out of the two of us, which one of us is in a pit with a twisted ankle?"

"How did you know I twisted my ankle?"

"From the way you're standing and trying not to put too much weight on your right side. Also, given how fast you were running and how deep this pit is relative to your size you would have gotten injured somehow. You should really consider yourself lucky that you fell into one of the normal traps. You could have ended up in one of the ones filled with nightshade tipped spears."

"Fine. Are you going to help me out?"

"I will, after you disarm."

With a small huff she dropped her sword and pistol on the ground.

"All of them,"

She glared at you before she unhooked the dagger strapped to her leg. She took off her coat and you could see the glint of more guns and knives shining in the interior pockets. "Happy?"

You gave her a stern look. "I said all of them,"

"That was all of them,"

"I can tell you're lying,"

"You're more clever than I thought a Lost Boys would be."

"Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm a Lost Girl, not a boy."

"Probably." She took a small pistol out of one boot then a razor out of the other. She took off her hat and threw down the knife hidden there. "That's all of them, on my honor as a pirate,"

"Sure you don't have another gun stuffed up your ass or razors in your hair?"

"Are you going to let me out or not?"

"Alright," you grabbed some vine off one of the trees and tossed the end down to her. "Grab on,"

You took a deep breath and hauled her up out of the pit. She immediately threw herself at you. Unfortunately for her she winced on her bad ankle and you sidestepped her attempted assault quite easily. She fell into a heap on the ground.

"Not very sporting, Cordy," You grabbed her arms and wrenched them behind her back before tying them with vine. "Come on, let's get you back to camp."

Your new friend was stubbornly silent on the walk back to camp and remained so when you showed up with her. Peter commended you for a job well done capturing the rogue pirate. Hook’s daughter no less.

“So you knew that someone procreated with that urchin?” you asked, “How come you never told me?”

“Didn’t think it was important.” Peter shrugged.

“And so what happens now? We can’t just give her back and it doesn’t sit right with me to just kill her.”

“We’ll do as the pirates do,” Peter said, “We’ll ransom her. No better way to get that old codfish under my boot for good than to have a knife to his daughter’s throat.”

“You miserable, underhanded imp!” Cordelia spat, “My father will never--!”

“Someone gag her.” Peter sighed.

“Sorry, Cordy,” You grabbed a rag and shoved it in her mouth. “You should have stayed quiet.”

She tried spitting more insults at me but they were all muffled. You discussed with Peter what was to be done. He’d go to inform Hook that we had his daughter tomorrow. Let him stew in the uncertainty of her wellbeing for a while before he delivered his ultimatum.

“Put her in a cage until we know what we’re going to do with her.” Peter said before walking off.

You grabbed Cordelia and brought her over to the wicker cages. You removed the gag before gesturing to the open door. “Alright, get in,”

“You cannot be serious,” she stared at the cramp cage. “I’ll barely fit.”

“Well it’s all we got and you can’t be trusted out of a cage so suck it up and get in.”

“No!”

“Cordelia, darling, I don’t think you’re getting this. You either go in willingly or I’m going to have to shove you in and considering that you’re already in pretty bad shape, I don’t think you want that.”

Cordelia looked down at her tender ankle. “Fine,” she muttered and hunkered down to crawl into the cage, “Know that when I am free I am coming for you first.”

“I’d be insulted if you didn’t,” You closed the door and secured it shut before pulling on the rope to hoist it into the air.

“Oh come on!” Cordelia yelled, “Suspended too?”

“How it goes,” you called back to her, “I’ll be by later to check on you and get you some food. Try not to move around too much. It’ll only make you swing more.”

As if to piss you off she started swinging the cage around violently. You sighed and shook your head with a small smile. Stubborn thing. You came back a couple hours later with some food for her. You knew you didn’t have to and that Peter would probably get mad if he knew that you weren’t just letting her go hungry but what could you say? You were feeling nice.

You took the cage down and cracked it open. Immediately Cordelia tried to pounce at you once more. You grabbed her by the hair so she couldn’t run away. “Really, aren’t you done yet?”

“Ugh!” she sat back, wincing at the pain in her ankle, “Worth a shot.”

“Come on, I brought you some food.” you held out the fruit you had brought as well as a canteen. “It’s all safe to eat, I promise.”

“How can I trust you?”

“Oh for the love of,” you took a swig of the canteen and bit into the mango. “See? Safe. Now eat.” you shoved the food at her.

She considered it for a moment before starting to eat. “How’s your ankle?” you asked.

“It’s fine,” she muttered.

“Uh huh,” you poked it. Immediately she sucked in a sharp breath like she wasn’t trying to cry out in pain. “That’s what I thought. Let me take a look at it.”

“I said it was fine!” she tried to pull her foot away from your grasp but you could tell it was only hurting her more to fight you.

“Will you just shut up and eat your dinner? You may be our prisoner but I’m not heartless. Besides, what do you think I’m going to do to you? If I kill you Pan will kill me and I don’t have the energy to hurt you tonight. So please, just stop fighting me for five minutes so I can fix your damn ankle.”

That finally shut her up. You undid the laces and pulled off her boot. She winced slightly as you gently turned her ankle this way and that assessing the damage. It was definitely swollen. Pretty badly too. You dug into your satchel and pulled out a long strip of bandage and began winding it around her foot. When it was done you tied it off and propped it up on your own lap.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” Cordelia asked.

“I think you’re already in a bad enough situation, shouldn’t have to deal with a fucked up ankle on top of it.” you shrugged. There was something more but you didn’t dare say it out loud. But you had to admit, for a stinky lowlife pirate, she was incredibly beautiful. She also had bite and that was insanely attractive to you.

Being the only girl on the island must have been getting to you if you were considering a pirate cute.

You were far enough away from camp and it was late enough that you didn’t think any of the Lost Boys would be by to see Cordelia out of her cage. So you stayed with her there for a couple hours well after she had finished her food. Her ankle was still in your lap and you could tell your treatment was helping since she stopped complaining about it after an hour.

The two of you got to talking, mainly because you annoyed her into it. You kept on going on and on about the adventures you and the Lost Boys went on until she snapped and said her stories were far more exciting. She proceeded to tell you, admittedly, some of the most fantastical stories of adventure and daring do that you had ever heard.

It was after she finished telling you a story about an encounter she and the crew of the Jolly Roger had with a kraken that you realized she was smiling. You were smiling. You had been up for hours telling each other stories and you were happy. There was a strange fluttering in your chest as she made grand sweeping arm gestures about fighting off the tentacled monster.

“Then with a final thunder of cannons straight to the beasties’ maw, the mighty kraken went down leaving nothing but blood and and a rubbery carcass left floating in the water!” Cordelia finished with a flourish.

You gazed up at the sky, noticing how the sky was lightening by inches. You had stayed up all night. “Sounds like quite the battle.” you told her, “And as much as I would love to continue this, you gotta get back in the cage before the camp wakes up and realizes I let you stay out all night.”

“Oh wow,” she looked up at the sky too, “I didn’t even realize.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“I wasn’t having fun!” Cordelia insisted, a blush staining her cheeks. “I was just--I knew that if I could keep you entertained you wouldn’t put me back in the cage.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself,” you patted her knee, “On the bright side, if things go well today then you’ll be back on your ship by before sunset.”

“Good,” she nodded, keeping her eyes away from you, “Do I have to get back in the cage?”

“Unfortunately so,” you told her. You gently took her foot off your lap and watched as she wiggled herself back into the cage. You decided to leave it on the ground instead of suspending her. It was a lot of work hauling her back into the air, is what you reasoned.

The day went by and Peter went to Hook to make a deal. Hook was furious but also wanted his daughter back so agreed to do go into Peter’s employ and do his dirty work in exchange for his daughter’s safe return. You escorted Cordelia from camp to hand her back to her father.

“You know, if you ever want to come back and swap stories no one ever goes near Mermaid Lagoon.” you told her as you walked. She was leaning on your shoulder as you went. She insisted it was because it was faster to walk if she had a bit of support. You rolled your eyes.

“Why would I ever want to come back to talk to you?” she spat.

“Cause I think you’re tired of being around old male pirates all day long. I also get tired of being around the boys all the time too. We could have some girl bonding time.”

“Bonding time?” she scoffed, “Do you think I’m that naive? I will not fall for your tricks.”

“No tricks, just a truce. If you come to Mermaid Lagoon with no weapons neither will I. I will tell no one and we will behave as if we were friends.”

“We are not friends.”

“We could be.”

“We are enemies.”

“Your father and Pan are enemies. That doesn’t mean we have to be.”

“A sweet sentiment but I think not.”

You arrived at the beach. Peter was waiting there with Hook. You whispered to Cordelia as you got closer. “On my honor, I, nor anyone else, will be at Mermaid Lagoon tonight. There you will find a peace offering to let you know I mean no ill will with my proposition. The next night I will be waiting there, you can decide whether or not to trust me then.”

Cordelia squared her shoulders and walked ahead of you towards her father who immediately enveloped her in a hug. He helped her into the rowboat and they rowed back across the ocean towards the waiting ship. That night you took all of Cordelia’s weapons that you had her take off in the pit as well as her jacket and hat to Mermaid Lagoon and set them on the shore where she could easily spot them.

The next morning when you went back they were gone. The bandage you had wrapped around her ankle lay behind in their place. That fluttering was back in your stomach. You smiled and went back to camp to get some rest and drop off your dagger. You had agreed on no weapons after all and you were a woman of your word.

[cordeliaxcortana]

Chain Of Thorns Theories pt3.

🚨 Chain of Iron Spoilers 🚨

I buried the unseemly urges

Deep down in the ground with the roots

But it's all coming up to the surface

Maybe it's getting ready to bloom

And I don't wanna be a monster in the making

I don't wanna be more bitter than sweet

I don't know how to be just standing by blankly

Not gettin' angry

now this song as a total is about suppressed anger and being wronged

there are three people in my mind that fit this narration: James, Alastair & Grace

'Cause another and another comin' up out of the gutter

Till I'm drowning in an ocean of entitled motherfuckers

And they're pushin' all my buttons

But they never seem to wonder why

Another and another, ask each other

Alastair??

And I don't wanna drink the venom they made me

I don't wanna be controlled by the past

Boy if you were me, could you really blame me?

Would make you crazy

Grace?

'Cause it gets my blood boiling and I’m comin' unglued

It would eat you like poison if you knew what I knew

You would be angry

James?

Calm down girl, why you so mad?

Why's your heart gone rotten?

It's all good girl, why you upset?

Guess they have forgotten what they did

Yeah so basically I think these three characters will avenge themselves and show everybody else what they are capable of.

Also I think this the first time I've thought about the similar anger these three particularly have to be grouped together like this...

You're no good, you're no good

You could kill me and you should

I'm an idiot for thinking

This was anything but blood

On listening to this song the first time I thought it was about Matthew, BUT IT ISN'T.

It's James.

Why? because this song is about mistaking abuse for love. And we all know who fits that narrative.

Also the song is from dual perspective.

On the wall, on the couch

On the corner of my mouth

You must like being the victim¹

You've done nothing to get out

Of this pattern of pain

Washed away by the rain

You'll forgive me if I promise²

And do nothing but the same

This is life until death

Could be my last dying breath

But this is love, love, shut up, this is love³

1. this is a common thing in victims where they would blame themselves for getting hurt in the first place.

I think we might see James doing it too.

2. a manipulation tactic where they've promised multiple times only to keep the person chained to them.

with or without Tatiana's influence Grace repeatedly had gone to James (saying that she actually does not want to harm him and yet going back to do the opposite)

3. the speaker here is convincing yet silencing the person they are speaking with

By now we know with respect to James & Grace it isn't love but manipulation.

Oh I was hit as a kid¹

I was good but then I quit

Everyone that tried to fix me

Knows that I can't change a bit

I've got no shame, got no pride

Only skeletons to hide

And if you try to talk to someone

Well then someone has to die

Once you chase me down the hole

Yeah once you think you're in control

You'll believe that we are partners

And you're feeling comfortable

Oh then the darkness rolls in

And you'll forget who I have been

But you'll love, love, love it, this is love

now this is from the manipulator's pov.

also most of this is like the run down events from the past i.e. everything before COT

1. it's like giving an excuse for the abusive behaviour saying they were on the recieving end of it as a child.

Why do I have a feeling that rather than getting a revenge arc Grace might end up joining Tatiana & Belial in the end?

Forget everything you used to know

I think you better tell your friends to go¹

Stick around cause I'm about to show you

The beginning is the end²

1. what if the rest of merry thieves (and in extension every other character except cordelia) never find out what grace & tatiana did to James??

2. ... yeah grace is definitely going to do something big.

-> people might find out about how Alastair had to deal with his father's addiction.

James will not anytime soon forgive Grace for what she did.

And finally remember how before leaving the house james asked Effie to call Charlotte and tell her that he has a criminal waiting here for her ... Yeah I'm pretty sure grace does not end up getting arrested. Either she escapes before it or Tatiana does something to get her out, maybe even before Charlotte arrives.

Grace may or may not get a morally-grey-character turned hero arc but she definitely won't be ending on good terms with the extended merry thieves (og + lucie, cordelia, anna). To those who are gonna say she & Christopher are going to end up together-

HOW MANY TIMES DO YOU NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT THE FAMILY TREE IS WRONG

Infact Cassie even called it someone's Wishlist!!! Like move on seriously!

[dumbfuck-mojave]

Push

Characters: Buffy Summers and Rupert Giles (Platonic).

Franchise: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Warnings: Talk of mental illness/OCD. Discussion of therapy and medication. 

A/N: Back on my self-indulgence with a short little fic. IDK what this style is but anyway: @highonbandcandy​ brought up the headcanon of Buffy checking her windows, especially after the Angelus incident, and I had to write something about it. Join the Buffy has OCD club. Also I’m trying out gifs in posts now. Nothing to do with the story, I just think they look pretty in these gifs. Word count as well. I guess a bit of Giles POV?? It starts with him. I wrote this as if it’s in the early seasons, but after the Angelus incident.

Word Count: 846

The steps of the Summers’ home creaked slightly as Giles made his way up to Buffy’s room. Joyce had given him a warm smile when he had shown up at the front door unannounced, bustling back into the kitchen after she’d directed him towards Buffy’s room. 

When he reached the top of the stairs, light shone into the dim hallway from the open door of Buffy’s room. Giles walks quietly into the doorway, watching Buffy as she opens and closes a window while mumbling to herself. The window seals shut with a soft thump and Buffy, finally seeming content with her actions, flicks the window lock a few times before straightening up and closing the curtains. She ran her hands along the material before turning around, squeaking when she noticed Giles watching her. Her hands fly up before she starts rambling off excuses. 

“Giles! I didn’t see you there! UH… how’s the food going downstairs?? My mom is trying out a new recipe and you know, I’m just not sure if she’s ready for such a complicated one! I mean it involves a lot of ingredients and-” “Buffy.”

“Yes?”

“Sit.” 

Buffy blushes a dark red, plopping down onto her mattress. Giles takes a seat next to her. He goes to put his hand on her shoulder, but he hesitates until Buffy wraps his arm fully around her and leans into his embrace.  “It’s been getting worse.”

“I’ve…. I’ve noticed. Talk to me, please. I’m here to help you in any way I can.” 

“Giles-”

“Buffy, you can’t keep ignoring this. We need to talk about this.” Giles gave her a stern look, and Buffy averted her eyes to the floor.

She was quiet for a few moments, then started in a quiet voice, “It started after….it happened. Sometimes it takes so long for it to feel alright, I just start crying because all I want to do is go to sleep.”  Giles looks sadly down at her, looking Buffy’s trembling body closer against him. She hides her face in his shoulder as soft whimpers come out. He rubs up and down her arm as he begins to speak again. 

“Buffy, I think it’s time we start discussing options-”

With lightning speed, the somber mood shifts and Buffy jumps up, an aghast expression on her flushed and tear-stained face. 

“I DON’T NEED ANYTHING, I’M HANDLING IT PERFECTLY FINE.” Buffy strides angrily over to her vanity, the mirror of which is covered in polaroid photos. She pulls on down as she softly takes a seat on her floral upholstered stool. Giles walks up behind her and peers over her shoulder to see what picture she was looking at. It was a picture of Cordelia.  Buffy looked up and met Giles’ eyes in the mirror, his clear ones contrasting with her reddened ones.

 “Miss Chase has it, you know. You aren’t even alone here.” 

“She seems perfectly fine.”

“She goes to therapy, Buffy. It helps. Please, let’s discuss it. With you being the Slayer, I would suggest it even more.”

That’s just the point, isn’t it! I’m the Slayer, I’m supposed to be strong! How can I be if I can’t deal with this. If I can’t even go to sleep without checking the window 50 times or be in the kitchen when my mom is cooking because I can’t stand the way she moves from thing to thing without washing her hands on my own, how am I supposed to be strong enough to protect everyone?” Buffy starts crying again, slamming her head into her palms and tearing them away right after.

“My hands are dirty.” She cries out, and Giles rushes to kneel in front of her.

“Buffy, Buffy, it’s okay. Look at me and breathe, it’s going to be fine.” Giles hushes as Buffy stares at him with watery eyes, sniffing as she calms down.  “You are strong. You are strong everyday for dealing with everything in your life and you will in no way be weaker for getting help. Realizing you need help is one of the strongest things you can do. We’re all here for you Buffy. Me, your mother, Xander, Willow, even Cordelia.”

“I know. I don’t know why, I’m just scared, I guess. Talking about it makes it more real.”

Giles sighed and gave her a wry smile, “It’s ok to be scared, but it will help.”

“How am I supposed to talk to someone about it when I can’t mention the, you know…” Buffy put her fingers up to her mouth, creating fake fangs. 

“I’ll find someone. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you have the best help possible.” 

Buffy smiles and leans forward into a hug as Giles pulls her tight against them. He places a kiss against the side of her head.

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a problem at all, I’m glad I finally convinced you. It’ll only get better from here.”

“I’m ready for it to get better,” Buffy pulls away and smiles at him, “Giles?”

“Yes?”

“I need to take a shower now.” 

[ohnotoomanyfandoms]

Just before reading choi you started talking about heronchild and Matthew being in love with james instead of cordelia being the real plot twist and I thought it was ah interesting theory. How do you feel about it now that you have read it?

Thank you for your question! Ironically, some part of me is still clinging to that theory. I talk about it in my review as well. Here’s an excerpt of what I wrote: 

“I confess I ran a weird experiment when reading Chain of Iron for the first time: I wanted to prove a negative, that Matthew isn’t really in love with Cordelia (why else not give him a POV?), so I decided to chase Matthew’s attention to its primary source, his parabatai. I read the book through the lens of Matthew being in love with James instead of Cordelia, and I promise that everything worked just fine until the last chapter where he confesses to Daisy. 

Every single thing Matthew said or did still made perfect sense without him catching feelings for Cordelia. This is another thing I believe Clare is subtly communicating to us: ...” 

Keep reading on WinterIsComing to hear the rest :)

[ex-vengeancedemon]

Writing Directory

Comprehensive list/directory of all my BTVS and ATS fanfictions.

Key: ☢️=WIP, ✅️=Complete

Spuffy:

Averting Disasters and Other Ways to Avoid Your Problems: Post-canon, multi-chapter reunion fic. ☢️

When She Was Bad What-If One Shots: If in 2x01 When She Was Bad, Buffy danced with Spike instead of Xander.

1 .......... Hey Jealousy (POV Buffy) ✅️

2 ......... Payback and Performances (POV Spike) ✅️

Heroes, Hexes, and Hijinks: 6.08 Tabula Rasa Re-Write/AU ☢️

In Memoriam: Post-series oneshot. ✅️

Lovers Paradox: Time travel oneshot. ✅️

Bait & Switch: AU starting from 4x03 The Harsh Light of Day ✅️

Bad Luck and Birthdays: Season 5/6 time travel fic. ✅️

Sign of the Times: Post-series time travel, historical ☢️

Buffy and the Lost City of the Dead: BtVS meets The Mummy (1999) ☢️

Split Second Decisions: AU 4x11 oneshot ✅️

Fuffy:

In the Name of Being Honest: Season 3 Graduation Day Part I oneshot. ✅️

Cordelia Chase x Winifred Burkle:

A Night at the Opera: Three-chapter case fic set after Fred is rescued from Pylea and Angel is away. ☢️

You can also find any of my fanfictions on AO3 @ JaneRemmington

And any of my Spuffy fanfics on EF @ JaneRemmington (this one usually updates first).

A look at the WIPs (radioactive)

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the least votes will be eliminated! everyone else goes on to round 3. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):

fitzroy angursell and pali avramapul:

I’m pretty sure even the author thought they were straight and endgame when she started writing them. Although initially Pali is portrayed as the love of Fitzroy’s life so that you think you’re going to have to put up with this straight relationship, she’s later canonically confirmed aroace with a lot of subtext around two other women, while it becomes clear in later books that Fitzroy has a growing interest in another man. Tfw you are sure they’re going to kiss by the end of the book and then it turns out that previous marriage proposals were plausibly about friendship in the first place

oscar francois de jarjayes and andre grenadier:

Okay, so this might sound kind of weird but bear with me because I really think they should count. Oscar was afab but her father gave her a boy's name and raised her as a boy (by 18th century standards) because sexism and he had 5 daughters and decided she was going to be a son because they were a noble family and he wanted a son to become a high ranking military official because they're rich so they can just do that. Oscar joins the army and becomes Marie-Antoinette's personal guard. Her and childhood best friend Andre are very close through out the series (he supports her throughout the many scandals that she has to deal with because she works for the royal family) and at the end of the series it is revealed that they are in love, but they are both killed in the war before they can actually get together. The dying before they can be together might fall into the buried straights category but they relationship also has really queer energy because throughout the series it becomes apparent that Oscar usually Does Not Vibe with only the gender she assigned at birth. She sometimes refers to herself as a woman, sometimes refers to herself as a man, but her attitude is usually basically 'I'm a man, I'm a woman, I'm both, I'm neither, stop asking'. So I think they should count as straightbait because we find out that Oscar is nonbinary and Andre loves her no matter what her gender is (and then they die before they can get together).

abbie mills and ichabod crane:

They both start out as main characters, working together since the ep. 1. Next three seasons follow the regular m/f protagonist duo pattern: they need each other's help, there's chemistry going on, there are heartwrenching scenes and dramatic sacrifices, they learn they can only truly rely on each other - so the next step is to let them be together, right? Wrong. The next step is to let lt. Mills make a final sacrifice, which on top of killing the pairing insults her as a character - suddenly from the POV protagonist she started as she's demoted to secondary character who always was just there to be the main guy's support. There are some feelings acknowledged, but no confessions or promises exchanged during the final fleeting reunion. Three-seasons-worth of build-up and then she dies.

angel and cordelia chase:

They met as characters on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but their dynamic doesn't take off until the Angel spinoff Because the showrunners of Angel didn't go in with the idea of putting these two together, the characters' friendship was allowed to develop organically without the assumption of romance, which then made the realization of their feelings for each other more satisfying. Unfortunately the shadow of Bangel (Buffy x Angel) still held over Angel's character, so I think it was a hard sell at the time and didn't gain a lot of popularity in the years since. Both these two characters grew alongside each other, supported each other, and despite knowing that they loved each other, let each other go to pursue their destinies. A really underrated het pairing!

entrapta and hordak:

Heavily heavily heavily hinted/slow burn?

akko kagari and andrew hanbridge:

Very typical hetero-love-interest introduction, rival vibes, aloof rich boy & headstrong "commoner" girl, learning to see each other's point of view, she dresses up for the first time in the series to sneak into his party to try to talk to him. Just classic 'ugh they're clearly gonna get together' but... they don't. Nothing romantic is ever explicit, and by s2 they're friends and that's it. there's no discussion or drama. they're good friends. literally shocked me. apparently a guy and girl who fit a bunch of romantic tropes... can just be friends

kurosaki ichigo and kuchiki rukia:

Oh man, where do I even begin? So, for some context, Bleach starts when Rukia (a shinigami) gets critically injured saving Ichigo from a monster, and she transfers her powers to him so he can finish it off. Instead of transferring half her powers as planned, however, she transfers all of them, which forces Ichigo to take over her job as a shinigami. During this time period, Rukia... lives in his closet. Yeah. The entire first arc of the manga is dedicated to their relationship, and while a lot of it is playful banter, Rukia's presence in Ichigo's life fundamentally changes it for the better. Rukia then gets kidnapped by the rest of the shinigami who aren't at all happy she gave her powers to a human, and the main plot ensues from there. Throughout the story, Rukia and Ichigo constantly save each other when they're at their worst. When Rukia thinks she deserves to die, Ichigo is there to tell her she deserves to live. When Ichigo is in a funk about his superpowered evil side, Rukia is there to snap him out of it (something his canon love interest explicitly realises she was unable to do). They share a sun/moon motif for crying out loud, and yet like that last sentence said... they don't end up together, but with other people instead. Yeah. No shade to the canon ships, but Ichiruki is peak straightbaiting, honestly. They have a lot of banter/chemistry, fundamentally change eachother's lives for the better, save each other when they're at their lowest, and have a very deliberate sun/moon dichotomy... but they both end up paired off with different characters instead asdfghkl

bow and glimmer:

They didn’t get together until the VERY END of the whole show and even then it was a little ambiguous (was it a BFF “I love you?” 🤷🏼‍♀️)

hardwon surefoot and moonshine cybin:

They’re DnD characters so they’re bi disasters canonically. Just not for each other The best way to describe Hardshine is this: “They’re soulmates” “Platonically or romantically?” “Yes” Literally they care so much about each other. Moonshine cured Hardwon’s vampirism by reincarnating him into a half elf and he told her “I’ve been half elf ever since I met you”. Moonshine is a high level elf druid which means she’ll basically live forever and literally the most emotional scene where she asks her mom “How long do half-elves live?”. Hardwon was always a fish out of water who never really fit in until he found Moonshine and the Crick. Are they dating? Queerplatonic partners? Siblings? Idk man they’re just in love it doesn’t matter how.

good luck everyone! now go vote!

[cristinablackthornkingson]

My thoughts/comments on roughly pages 700-900 of COI.

**TW/CW**

Alcoholism

Miscarriage

Child trafficking

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Matthew and Elias are more alike than Cordelia thinks, Matthew is just a nicer drunk than Elias. They both have/had their demons and use alcohol as an attempted escape, let's just hope things turn out better for Matthew than they did Elias .

Ahhh I really hope there isnt going to be a love triangle between Matthew, Cordelia and James, unless they become a throuple, but I am more so rooting for MatthewxLucie. Isnt Jesse like 8 years older than Lucie? I mean I guess he's technically forever 17 and doesnt have much more life experience than her but still, I prefer them as besties.

Grace leave James alone!

Uh yeah Grace no duh the Bridgestocks dont like you, you're the woman Charles left Ariadne for, that could have ruined her reputation

GRACE FUCK OFF!

JAMES DO NOT KISS HER, Tessa needs to get back and slap some sense into her son jfc!

DAMMIT JAMES!!!

"I should go" Yes you should! And leave James the fuck alone!

The Famer at the Barrow is Wayland the Smith, calling it now

Yep I knew it!

I want a crossover series where Cortana meets Sumabrander/Jack from Magnus Chase 😂😂

Wayland the Smith wants payment for healing Cortana, uh oh, all magic comes with a price

Wait what is a paladin? Does Wayland want Cordelia to find the killer and stop the killings? Has she not already sworn fealty to Cortana? - Oh no she swore fealty to Wayland, makes sense. Go kick ass Daisy!

Yikes seems as if Lucie's powers might cause some trouble for her

Possible Lucie and Ariadne friendship? Will Lucie help her and Anna get back together?

Okay I fear for Lucie when Grace tells Malcolm about Annabell.

Always thought Malcolm was the one who helped Tatianna preserve Jesse's body, apparently not, new character maybe?

Ooh honey, Malcolm this is so much worse than Annabell rejecting you.

Glad to see Lucie inherited Tessa's sensibility

Ariadne and Anna being Lucie's protective yet kickass lesbian cousins, we stan

Awwww Anna calling Lucie "ducks" 🥺

Oh my God Grace was trafficked??? Tatiana is a child trafficker? As are the Cartwrights? Holy fuck poor Grace!

I hope James is okay, I wonder if he'll tell them about Grace? Or that hes in love with Cordelia? Or that he might be possessed by the killer?

I fucking love Anna fussing over Lucie and calling her pet names, more Anna and her cousins being wholesome please!

But surely Belial cant posses James? He had the spells of protection placed on him as a baby, and he didnt actually die in COG, like Jace did in City of Glass, but maybe its different because he is half Warlock and related to Belial?

Raum venom in my shoe, oh Christopher, never change ❤

"I think he is possessed" said Thomas "He is defacing a book" LMAOOOOOOO throw that shade Tommy!

"He felt an odd sensation, tingling between his shoulder blades, apprehension perhaps?" Jamie, sweetie, I'm demiromantic and have never been in love yet even I know you're feeling love and attraction to Cordelia

"Just wound me then, stab me in the leg if you have to" Ah, young love

Hmmm Cordelia and James spending the night in the same room, sexy times to ensue?

A crack in the gracelet? Perhaps James'true love for Cordelia is strong enough to break it? Could be going a OUAT route here, if they have kids they would be the product of true love, and very powerful, could play an important role in the future?

Lmao Cordelia blue balling James as revenge for him kissing Grace, good for you girl, good for you.

Oh Thomas POV, hope we get some Thomastair interaction, first kiss maybe?

I hope Anna and Thomas dont go in search of the killer, surely Anna is going to tell him to get his ass back inside? Or maybe she's about to talk to him about his feelings for Alastair? Is this gonna be the equivalent of Nora having to confirm to Alex that he's bi?

Nope the dumbass is going on patrol alone, I'm scared for him. Maybe he'll run into Alastair and they'll patrol together and talk about their feelings?

No James you love Cordelia, not Grace. Snap out of it man!

Jamie baby you owe no one anything, please talk to your parents and Jem!

Uh oh killers POV with Thomas out alone, I'm scared

Oh God the killer noticed Thomas and now we have a Thomas POV, I dont like where this is going. Alastair come save your man!

Nooo poor Lillian. I'm still scared for Thomas though, I think the killer is trying to lure him in

Uh oh, Thomas is about to get in so much trouble

Sshhhhiittt poor Thomas. Charlotte can surely help him tho, right? She knows he would never kill someone

Oooh so James has been going out in his sleep to try and stop the killer?

Is Enoch gonna tell them about Thomas' arrest? Will he be able to help Thomas?

I want a brother Enoch backstory!

Alastair was so following Thomas for his own peace of mind, and to protect him because he loves him.

I wonder why Bridgestock has it in for Thomas.

Consul Charlotte reminds me of President Ellen Claremont, I love it.

I think the pithos is what the killer used to remove the runes

I wonder if there's gonna be some Thomastair angst and confessions now they're locked in the sanctuary together for a day.

Why is the mortal sword in Paris? Seemingly with Will and Tessa? Was Charles tried by the mortal sword?

Charlotte and Henry have been TTC for years now with no results, my theory is that the miscarriage was complicated and caused a lot of scar tissue, and now Charlotte cant get pregnant, so once her time as Consul is up (which is presumably soon, given how the merry thieves theorize that Bridgestock is vying for Consul next term) she and Henry will adopt, either twin girls or 2 girls close in age, like 2/3 year age gap at max.

I really like Eugenia and would like to read more about her.

Alastair comforting Cordelia is so sweet, they are such an iconic sibling duo.

James thinking of Matthew, Christopher and Thomas as his brother's is so wholesome and sweet, I adore it!