#potty talk

[atragicsquirrel]

i’ve been really struggling with where i placed y/n’s office in my fic because i’ve realized

1.) i need to write an explanation for why that door now leads to a vacant warehouse as of the time gregory comes in (i’ve already figured it out)

2.) that there are literally zero (0) bathrooms in all of rockstar row. i’m currently working on finding the closest bathroom but it’s not going well.

so i can only imagine how many unfortunate mishaps occur when kids are waiting in line for ages to meet their favorite animatronic, because there’s no where for their parents to quickly take them to avoid disaster.

[i-am-not-your-little-princess]

Toilet Humor

This is set in the same universe as my previous Christmas post.

Mirabel unknowingly gets Agustín out of a speeding ticket on their way home. Three year olds are hilarious😂

Agustín, pulling over to the side of the road: Crap, crap, crap! Dios mío, Julieta is going to kill me!

Officer: Hello, sir. My name is officer Santiago. Do you know how fast you were going?

Agustín: Ahh, sí, I'm sorry, I apologize, we were just on our way home and I-

Mirabel: PAPÍ, I HAVE TO POOP!!

It seems Agustín is just as shocked as officer Santiago at his little daughter's very bold and very unannounced statement.

Officer Santiago, peering into the backseat: And who is this little one?

Agustín: That's Mirabel. She doesn't like to poop in public places. We're...we're working on it.

Officer Santiago: Ahh...

Mirabel: Hi! I'm Mirabel!

Officer Santiago: Mirabel? What a pretty name! And how old are you, Mirabel?

Mirabel: One...two...three...Three!!

Officer Santiago: Oh, wow, you're a big girl!

Agustín: Yeah...this one was a pretty big...surprise for us all. She still is, apparently.

Officer Santiago: Yeah, three year olds will do that for ya!

Mirabel: Papí, I really have to poop!

Officer Santiago: Okay, so I'm going to let you go, just please drive safe, and slow down.

Agustín: Of course, won't happen again! Have a good day!

Officer Santiago: You as well! Bye Mirabel!

Mirabel: Bye-bye!

Agustín turns in his seat before pulling the car away.

Agustín: Miraboo?

Mirabel: Sí, papí?

Agustín: Did you really have to go poop?

Mirabel: Well, I didn't have to THEN, but NOW I really, really do!

[spideyhexx]

:)

[random-thot-generator]

Oddly enough, they both smell the same.👃👀

[yb-cringe]

i dont know why i just noticed this but i was like. watching phil talk to felps and cellbit and i was wondering why he sounded very. its not Condescending but he praises like he's encouraging someone much younger and I went back to check other times he's met people and no phil just. /does/ that. i think he's just been around chayanne and tallulah for so long that he's in perma dad voice and has just started doing it unintentionally

[katierosefun]

Hello :))) So, i was today years old when i learned you had a girlfriend (if i’m not mistaken) and somehow it means a lot to me as you’re one of my comfort blog and that i’ve been struggling with my own sexuality for a while. (I hope it does not come off as weird this is really not my intention 😭) So i was wondering if you would mind sharing how you two met as i love hearing about queer love stories coming from real people and not only in fiction (somehow i need to be reminded that yes, it can happen in real life too for me??) If and only if you’re comfortable doing so of course!!!

aww hi anon! first of all, thank you so much for the kind words--i'm so glad to hear that my blog is a source of comfort for you. and also, re: your sexuality--i'm sending you so much love! i know how scary and how overwhelming it can be to still be figuring out your sexuality and navigating your own queerness, so please remember to have some compassion for yourself, and please know that you're not alone.

as for my girlfriend: yes! i do in fact have one, and we've been together for a little over a year and a half now. we'll be going on two years pretty soon, which is all very exciting!

as for how we met: it's all a pretty funny story, because we actually met while we were both in college. and also right during that first covid summer too. we started off as long-distance friends, bonding our love for star wars and writing.

anyways, i totally had a crush on her, although i was trying to play it off most of the time. the fact that we lived in separate cities was another factor too, of course.

fast forward to a few years later, when we've both graduated college. i've just started my first year of law school; she's working at this point. we're still texting and calling each other a bit, and then i tell her, oh yeah, i'm going out on a date with this guy.

and just like something from a kdrama or a movie or something, this ridiculous, lovely woman texts me as i'm boarding the bus for my date. her text? hey, i dreamed about you last night! we were sitting on a park bench together and we were holding hands :)

and of course, at this point, i still have a disastrous crush on her (hence why i spent a lot of time dating all these random guys in my junior and senior year of college, because i was like i gotta just get over this), but anon, that text message was the other shoe dropping on my brain. i decided right then and there that enough is enough, i'm gonna call her tomorrow and tell her i like her, so she can't just say stuff like that anymore because i don't think i can take it anymore.

so we arrange to have a phone call the next day, and we chat, and of course, true to form, i have to have some liquid courage on me (peach soju, btw . . . but turns out, if you're jittery enough, you don't even feel the alcohol, because i still remember every detail). anyways, at some point, we're chatting, and then i blurt out, "i like you."

and she goes, "i like you too."

and i went, "no, i mean i like you more than a friend. as in i like you."

and she goes, "uh, yeah. i like you to do. the feeling's mutual."

and of course, i didn't know what to say to that. like, i swear i was just like "??? what?" because the thing is, i had this whole speech planned out in my head--something like i like you, and you don't like me like that, so i'm sorry that this is awkward, and i can just take care of my own feelings, but i just really needed to say that so that we're both on the same page--

so to say i was pretty stunned would be an understatement! so cue a lot of laughter and flustering, and fast forward to today, with her living with me for the summer (because of course, she'll need to go back to work and i'll have to go back to school once august hits), and we talk about how many pets we're going to have one day (she has this hobby of sending me videos of increasingly exotic animals and going "??? so can we have this as a pet? :)"), and we've talked about what our wedding is going to be like (as well as what our wedding will not be like) . . .

this is just a whole lot of details, but as you might be the first one to ask me about this lovely person on this webbed site, of course i'm going to ramble and gush--but anon, to give you some hope here, queer love is a beautiful thing and it certainly happens.

personally, i would love to go back in time and find my sad high school self and go "hey, hang in there, because you're gonna be lucky enough to finally fall in love with someone who's kind and warm and patient and loving, and she's going to encourage you to be a better person, and she's going to make friends with literally every single stranger on the street (much to your partial exasperation and partial wonder), and she's going to be really bad at staying hydrated, and she's going to take so many photographs of everything, and she's going to make friendship bracelets on your bed, and she's going to almost fight the secretary at a dentist's office for you (while you tug at her sleeve and go come on, i'm fine, let's just go), and she's going to recite and write poetry that you keep both on your walls and also in your head, and her grandma is going to show you the dorkiest photos she has of this silly, lovely, beautiful person who you love."

so: all that to say, anon, i hope that gave you some hope! it's such a long journey for some of us, but i promise that queer love is out there and healthily alive, and yeah, sometimes they're just as good (or even better) than those that you find in fiction :)

[tylerpitlicktruther]

What if I told you that this Pookie Pie Angel Face was an absolute menace tonight and got couple penalties and a 10-minute misconduct for going “too far” with his yapping at the refs?

[system-of-a-feather]

New syscourse topic cause the current ones suck

If a system takes a shit, can we consider that shit a split part? If so, if someone were to EAT that piece of shit, would they then be taking that split part into their system? In that case, is system hopping technically real? I would think so.

Discuss. (All sides of syscourse welcome and all perspectives welcome)

[sashimoii]

I hope you all know that everyday I hold myself back from posting my fallout 4

“General Ophelias Commonwealth sanitation manifesto” or whatever the fuck I’ve called it

Unfortunate slogan “a healthy society is one that shits soundly”

Because I hate how much I’ve thought about it like somewhere I have like proper waste disposal trade routes and recycling points and it makes me feel proper queasy but in a real situation sanitisation and health is so fundamental to rebuilding and it’s a weird niche but it’s my weird niche and then it became like really central to her plot and now every settlement has collection dates and it’s spiralled into this big thing.

Diamond city already has a way around this at least in my hc but other cities like good neighbour just dump it outside the walls and while it may help provide a bit of a barrier there bathroom situation with that little pulley cabin is absolutely appalling to me. Team proper potties.

The mechanists lair ends up becoming like a big recycling facility and then it’s shipped to starlight city the big industry place and trade hub. You all get your team trees and I get this.

Again apologies I won’t probably expand on it anymore here but I just needed to inform someone of its existence like the time I got really obsessed with the idea of commonwealth farming.

As aptly put by my friend very fandom needs a sewage system.

[liu-yu-xin]

Unhand my wife right now jackson wang i am so serious🧍

[karmacores]

Call of Cthulhu blorbos

I love a dysfunctional table of PCs <3

[theloveinc]

bakugo has the type of toddler who says “daddy I pooped my diaper” while he’s on a zoom meeting

[bellaneedstopee]

Do you think that those who used chamber pots back in the day had really good aim?

I think they must have had to, but from my experience peeing in "chamber pots" (the makeshift one I have lol), a lot of time I prefer to kneel on the potty and press my pussy into it so I don't make a mess and spray everywhere. My stream can be so strong after a hold and I think when I get a chamber pot, I'll get a bath mat to put under it just in case I dribble before I can get seated. A lot of the chamber pot pics I've seen show the woman squatting above the potty, with her stream gushing into the pot below in plain sight. I think it's definitely the hottest way to tinkle, but in practice, it can be messy.

[randomnumbers751650]

(AU in which Mona was more of a traditional witch)

Mona: Scara, would you love me if I was a worm?

Scaramouche: Or course not, hahaha.

Mona, waving her hand, turning Scara into a worm: Would you love me if you were a worm?

Scaraworm: Mona, that's not funny, turn me back!

Mona: What's the magic word?

Scaraworm: You bitch!

Mona: That's not the magic word.

Scaraworm: Please?

Mona: Can you put some flair?

Scaraworm: Well...could you please, my dearest wife? Whom I cannot think of a lifetime without? Whom I will treasure until my body rots away?

Mona: Aww, that's so sweet! But... I used a bit too much energy to do this trick, so I need to recharge.

Scaraworm: Could you at least put me in a nutrient-rich soil until then?

[cure-whimsy]

one of my favourite things of all time is when characters in cartoons and kids shows swear and there's some naturally occurring noise or whatever to sensor it

[wanderingcas]

in case anyone's wondering how parenthood is going for me, today at the library in the middle of the clear blue my 1.5 year old toddler announced "mama pee pee!" to allllll the people around us