#posts that will always be about blue. to me < 3

[r3starttt]

BEHAVE

PAIRING: Caitlyn Kiramman x reader

SUMMARY: Being her controversial young girlfriend but she's sooo mean about it.

CW: Mean Caitlyn. fingering and public sex if u squint. A mix of Cait act 1 and after act 3 because that eye patch makes her so hot.

TAGLIST: @lewd-alien @greysontheidiot @jolyne @sapphic-ovaries @tlouloser @prwttiestbunny @visobsession @thesevi0lentdelights @lvlymicha @stickycherritart @patronagrona @halle5s @usuck @thalchmy @lovelyy-moonlight @fakevalentine

A/N: this was a headcanon but it's too long so, enjoy(? also I apologize because this is very self indulgent and maybe it doesn't feel like it's Caitlyn at all but who cares!

* first post of the year!!!! ahhhh praying I can write so much more

"Do you truly believe I wouldn’t notice?" Caitlyn’s voice brushed against your ear, a velvet whisper laced with reproach as her hands rested on your shoulders. She guided you through the sea of silk gowns and tailored suits, her touch light yet insistent. The weight of her name—Kiramman—still carried its unyielding responsibilities. These endless soirées, gilded in pretension, were as much a part of her world as the air she breathed.

You hummed in acknowledgment, your brow furrowing as the opulent liquor in your glass shimmered with each step. The crystal caught the golden glow of chandeliers, creating ripples of light that danced with the cadence of your movements.

"I distinctly recall telling you not to speak to her," Caitlyn said, her voice low but firm, a melody of restrained fury and high-society decorum. And there it was—why she was upset. Her words, precise as a scalpel, made the realization cut deeper.

Jealousy. It wasn’t the first time.

She was a woman molded by singularity, the only child of a family whose legacy loomed large. Years of hard work and calculated poise had shaped her, yet even Caitlyn Kiramman wasn’t immune to the corrosive sting of possessiveness. She had drawn comfort from women, and in doing so, learned too much about how easily temptation could unravel the strongest resolves. She knew what could happen when the wrong hands reached for what they desired.

"And I didn’t," you replied, your tone measured but pointed as you placed emphasis on the pronoun. "She spoke to me."

But you knew the defense was weak, the excuse thin. It wasn’t about who initiated the conversation—it was about the way you let it linger, the playful barbs you traded in defiance of Caitlyn’s clear wishes.

"Look at me."

She halted, steering you into a quiet corner where the hallway stood mostly empty save for the occasional passing silhouette. Her grip shifted to your chin, blue-painted nails biting just enough to demand your attention. Tilting your face upward, her single piercing eye—framed by the violet eyepatch that gleamed under the estate’s polished lighting—locked onto yours.

"That woman," Caitlyn said, her tone laced with hate, "will go to any lengths to provoke me. She is petty, immature, and cannot tolerate the fact that I chose you." The emphasis on you was punctuated with a fleeting brush of her thumb along your cheek.

"And why is that?" you countered, tilting your head slightly, an air of defiance laced in your words. You knew the unspoken truths hidden in her gaze, the ghosts of her past lovers lingering in her quiet. You weren’t the first to occupy her bed, but you intended to be the last. Still, the question hung in the air, daring her to acknowledge the vulnerability that simmered beneath her jealousy.

Her posture shifted, the tension momentarily releasing as she let go of your face, her hands finding yours. "Behave," she murmured, her voice carrying a polished warn. "You’re not some foolish girl in need of coddling , are you? Didn’t you insist I treat you like a grown woman and not—what was it?—a 'sweet indulgence,' like those other girls you claim I once entertained?"

Sharp, clever, and unrelenting , Caitlyn always knew how to turn the blade back on you, her wit as honed as the rifle she wielded with such precision.

"I’m merely observing," you replied with a shrug, feigning indifference though the sting of her words lingered. "You seem awfully afraid of some women. Almost as though you know them too well."

Her laugh was soft, almost a scoff, but her grip on your waist tightened. Caitlyn wasn’t one to retreat. Instead, she seized the moment, her free hand taking your glass and setting it on a side table near the staircase alongside her own. Without a word, she led you upward.

The quiet intimacy of the stairwell was a stark contrast to the party below. The golden light softened as you ascended, and with each step, the air between you grew heavier, thick with the unsaid.

Your heels echoed against the polished marble, mirroring hers as you followed her onto one of the estate’s many balconies. Caitlyn left the balcony door ajar, the muffled hum of the soirée seeping through like a distant murmur.

Her lips grazed the delicate curve of your neck, warm and insistent. "Do you know what I used to do?" she murmured, her voice low-- confessional. Her hands found your waist, steadying you as though she feared you might falter under the weight of her words.

"I would take them home," she began, her tone as smooth as the feel of her hands on your skin. Her fingers tightened ever so slightly, a possessive gesture had you folding already. "I would ask about their lives, their dreams... enough to slip beneath their guard."

Her lips traveled upward, brushing the corner of your jaw, then your cheek, before stopping just next to your ear. "And then," she continued, her voice a breath against your skin, "I would lean in, cup their necks, let my gaze linger on their lips... kiss them."

As the words left her mouth, she mirrored the act with you. Her fingers glided to the nape of your neck, holding you firm, her lips capturing yours with a deliberate fervor. The kiss was unhurried yet commanding, a declaration rather than a question.

"I would undo their clothes, piece by piece, savoring the soft of their skins." Her hands traveled down, tracing the contours of your frame with reverence until her fingers found the hem of your dress. Slowly, she gathered the fabric, the rustle of it rising in harmony with the quickening beat of your heart.

"I would caress their thighs," she continued, her voice dropping with promise. Her hand slid beneath the folds of your dress. She paused there, letting the silence be filled with the distant hum of the party behind you.

Her gaze met yours again, piercing. She pressed her knee in between your legs, her fingers making small circles over your clothed clit, feeling the fabric damp under her touch. A smile spread on her face, almost a mocking laugh escaping her as her forehead leaned closer to your own. "Yeah? feels good, doesn't it?" Her breath hovering over your lips before you nodded, opening your lips further to try and get a kiss she denied.

"I would love to feel how wet they got... listening those whimpers and the many obscenities spilling through such pretty lips." Her other hand went behind your waist, digging her fingers into you.

Your head tilted down as you got pressed into the railing. Worried that someone might see.

It wouldn't be new to them. Cailtyn had been caught endless times by those working for her or around her- and she couldn't care less. Making her girls go louder each time.

"I loved to hear how they pronounced my name in between gasps." Her wet lips pressed another kiss into your neck. Her hand guiding your hips to move against her leg as she slid her fingers up and down your covered slit.

You held behind onto the railing, using it to impulse your body as you wished against her fingers and her body and just enjoy yourself while using her. Your lips pressed too tightly to not let any sound out.

Your eyebrows furrowed to a point it hurt. Caitlyn made you mad, she knew how to put you in your place every single time.

"Be a good girl and let me hear you, love." She pressed herself closer to you again, her fingers busy with your wet. She had minutes that felt endless just rubbing at your clit over your clothes, providing you the friction of her knee against your cunt or her fingers over your hole- teasing to pull your panties aside and fuck you-- But that was it.

And maybe all of it had you falling for her one last time. Opening your lips to moan and whimper against her own. She wanted the show and if she asked so nicely why would you deny her?

But just as you felt like maybe there could be a way to convince her to fuck you like you wanted, she stopped. It was almost too abruptly it hurt.

"Go to the bathroom and compose yourself," Caitlyn instructed. Her grip tightened on your chin, tilting your face upward with a practiced ease that left little room to argument. The intensity in her eyes was an unspoken demand.

"I will not endure the embarrassment of your behavior tonight." The sharp edge of her accent making each syllable bite. Her fingers pressed into your cheeks, just enough to remind you of her control, her authority over this moment. "Your age is already... challenging for me. Do not make me regret this, love. Do you understand?"

You nodded, the motion awkward under the restraint of her hand. A wave of heat prickled at the corners of your eyes, tears threatening to spill, not from pain but from the raw sting of her words. Your voice came out small, broken, as though the very air had been stolen from your lungs.

"I'm sorry," you murmured an apology barely audible, stifled by the weight of her fingers against your face.

"Don't apologize," she snapped, the command as firm as it was cold. Her gaze bore into yours, cutting through your composure. "Just do as I ask. Prove to me that you're capable of being what I need you to be."

Her lips hovered dangerously close to yours, her breath warm, intimate, yet void of comfort. "Show me you're worth it-" She paused to make it clear, it was a warn if not a threat. "And never, ever speak to her again. Not a word, not a glance. Or it's over. Is that clear?"

There was no room for negotiation, no softness to temper her gaze. Her words were final. Like anything else around her, it was an unspoken contract you had no choice but to sign.

[itsmeatballworld]

because of him

summary | Locked in a safehouse with him would be easy—if you both got along.

pairing | bucky barnes x f!reader

wc | 1.5k

warnings | smut 18+ ONLY. p in v (pls wrap it up irl), praise kink, & alcohol use

a/n | hiii! I posted this on my ao3 account originally, but totally forgot about posting it here. Enjoy! <3

It was two in the morning when his elbow jammed into your back. Two in the morning, after the longest and most tiring day you’ve had in weeks. More like, the mission from hell. And here he was, with that dumb vibranium arm jamming into your back. 

You grumbled and tried to ignore him. Then out of nowhere he kneed you.

You sat up with a yelp, still wobbly from sleep.

“Will you stop moving?” the deep grumble of his voice was almost unsettling, as if he was some demon from beyond.

“Me?”

“Yeah. You.” He yawned, “I almost forget you were here.”

If he could see you in the dark, you were sure he’d run for the hills. Your lips scrunched into a tight frown as the sleepiness wore off and your anger from the day prior bubbled to the surface.

“Well I wouldn’t be here if the mission didn’t go to shit, Buck.”

He cursed. “Don’t start.”

“Don’t start?” But you were already starting. And he knew there was no stopping you now. “Sam gave us 45 minutes to run in and grab the weapons container. 45 minutes. How you managed to screw that in less than five—!”

You stopped talked as firm hands snaked around your waist. Eyes wide with concern, you swat him away but to no avail. “Don’t—!”

Bucky Barnes pushed you farther away from his body, shuffling you close to the edge of the bed.

“I need sleep, doll. So do me a favor and stay over there.”

Over there, which was still so close to his body. There wasn’t anywhere to go in this tiny apartment on this tiny bed. It was never meant for two people, let alone two people who really didn’t like each other.

All because the mission went to shit. Because of him, you grimaced.

It was supposed to be a simple grab of illegal weapons hidden at an undercover Hydra base in Split, Croatia. Gorgeous blue waters of the Adriatic Sea surrounded by terracotta colored roofs. It would have been a dream to vacation here, but it was solely work related. 

Unfortunately, the work day became a ‘work sleep-over’ after a shit-storm of mishaps went down at the warehouse.

Most of which weren’t your fault.

A soft buzz from the other side of the room caught you off guard. The buzzing continues in a rhythmic tone, which only meant it was one person’s phone—Bucky’s. 

You don’t get calls at night. If someone did call—someone better be dead.

“Phone, Buck. Phone!” You insist before he shifts off the bed, flicking on the lamp. You didn’t flinch from the light as your head was already shoved underneath two slightly flattened pillows.

“Hey,” he yawned. “Right…okay, but Sam, when can we leave?” There was a pause before Bucky sighs, dropping his voice slightly. “No she’s awake.”

You groan loudly, plopping back to the surface of the bed.

He stood there in the yellowish light, messy brown hair flat against his head. His boxer briefs were barely hanging onto his hips after leaving the bed. His old black cotton tee shirt was loose on his defined chest.

You couldn’t help but stare. You weren’t blind—he’s a hot guy. He’s always been hot. It wasn’t new. You look every now and again, just to remind yourself men who are that toned and perfect do exist. But they tend to be stoic assholes.

And Bucky seemed to be no different.

Bucky stared at you, his eyes hovering over your body before shaking his head. A smirk played at his lips as he fought back a sleepy laugh. You may or may not have been flipping him off.

“Okay I’ll tell her,” he says before he drops the call. “That was Sam. He said we’re not getting out of here until tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow? Those jerks from the warehouse are still looking for us?”

“Looks like it.” He plopped back onto the bed and shut the light off.

In the dark, you didn’t see his hand reach around your head until there was a tug. The second pillow was yanked out from under you. So, in the dark, he didn’t have time to react when you shoved him straight off the bed.

Thud. Bucky’s ass hit the ground. “What the hell was that for?”

“Oops.”

“You know what—” Bucky jumped up and the blinding yellow light illuminates the room again.

You recoil, gasping as if he’d somehow set your eyeballs on fire. “I can’t sleep with you,” Bucky spat. “You’re insane.”

“And you take up half the bed, but I wasn’t going to say anything,” you smirk as the words left your lips.

“I’m taking up half the bed?”

“Did I stutter, Barnes?”

His eyes widen as the newly pardoned Winter Soldier ignores his urges to throttle you. Instead, Bucky hurries across the room to the kitchenette. He dug around in the last cabinet, shoving past boxes of old crackers and cereal.

“Aha!” In his hands, a bottle of amber liquor waved in the air. “Get up, doll. We’re taking care of this now.”

“Taking care of what?”

“Whatever bullshit this is between us. You’re pissed. I’m annoyed. Let’s drink.”

You blanched, “do you really think alcohol is the best option here?”

“Only if you’re game.”

There was a moment of clarity in your sleep deprived brain. It was stupid, it had to be a bad idea. But your eyes lingered on Bucky and his cocky grin. There wouldn’t be any reason not to.

“I’m always game.”

It only took two drinks. Neither of you were drunk when your lips crashed into each other. But those two drinks slowed any nerves of getting here.

Drunk would have meant you’d forget the fighting… that turned into laughing… that turned into fucking. 

But the only thing really getting you tipsy tonight was the feeling of his thick cock and how he slammed into you.

Bucky had you pinned to the wall, his hips rutting in uneven strokes now. He grunted as you sank deeper onto his cock, grinding against his own movements in an attempt to feel some relief.

“Good girl,” he moaned. “You take me s-so good.”

You squealed, digging your nails into his back. He rutted against your desperate movements, each time a bit harder when you moaned. He really liked when you moaned. Every sound you made kept him lingering a bit longer.

“So pretty,” he spat as he curled into you.

His boxers were at his knees as he dug his palms into your hips, trailing his fingers across your skin.

You mewled as his head dipped down to catch your lips again. It was intoxicating just to be against him like this. Feeling him all around you, inside you. It was everything and so overwhelming.

“Fuck,” he murmured. Erratic and swift, his last few thrusts were unsteady. Sliding to the floor to keep his hold, Bucky dropped his head against your chest. He felt grounded like this, nearing his release, grinding down into you against the wall. In one final thrust he groaned as he emptied himself inside you.

Sweaty and very satisfied, he smirked. But you weren’t done and he wasn’t about to waste time.

His fingers pressed against your sensitive clit, brushing it in even strokes. You gasped, grabbing his hair and kept grinding down on his cock still inside you. His fingers were working you to your edge of release and it was hard not to just focus on that feeling.

He was pressing his thumb so softly at first but urgently moves against your clit the harder you push him into you. His cock stiffened again inside you, like he was already going for round two.

“Bucky,” you sounded weak. Like the stress of his movements and touch were going to kill you. He groaned, thrusting as he circled your clit. “I know, baby, I know. You feel so good.”

It was only seconds before your withering and wining against his touch finally met release. He didn’t move, letting you ride your high.

“Fuck,” you whispered between heaving breaths. “Fuck.”

Those blue eyes sparkled under the moonlight. “Round two?”

You snorted back a laugh, gazing at the chaotic scene around you two. Clothes everywhere. Bed sheets thrown. Pillows half-hazard on the bed. You ran your fingers through his hair and tugged.

“Shut up, Barnes.”

It was mid-morning. The sky was cloudy and dark still as a storm was brewing off the coast. “Bucky,” you whispered.

“Hm?”

“What are we doing?”

He yawned, rolling over to meet your sleepy gaze. “What?” Back on the bed, it felt oddly natural to be next to him now.

You sunk deeper into the mattress, “what are we doing? With us.”

Bucky paused. A grin pulled at his lips. “Whatever you want, doll.” His fingers reached out, “up to you.”

Peaking up from the pillows, you watched his blue eyes brighten. Your fingers slid from his hair to the scruff of facial hair building across his jaw. Taking in his love-drunk gaze, you rested against his bare chest. “I had fun.”

“Bet you did—”

The pillow hit his face just as his body rumbled with laughter beneath you. 

His eyes lingered on your face before those soft lips brushed against yours. “Let me take you to dinner. When we get home and are not under enemy surveillance. Only if you’re game.”

Sinking into his body with a satisfied smile, you closed your eyes. 

“I’m game.”

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a/n 2.0: I love a little sassy bucky *mwah*

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Twelve Days: Part 3**

Part 3 of this littel series! Thank you for your patience and for reading this story! I will create a post for all the parts soon! Hope you guys enjoy and feel free to send theories or any ideas that you guys would want me to consider incorporating.

Warnings: infidelity, break ups, mentions of depression and anxiety and their symptoms, mentions and use of alcohol and drugs, breast/ nipple play, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, multiple orgasms

WC: 7.8K

Day Nine:

Harry’s POV:

Harry was still reeling from that steamy night you two had shared a couple days prior. He was relieved that you weren’t regretful of what had happened that night. He wasn’t sure what he would’ve done if you’d shut him out afterwards. He wasn’t regretful of what had happened but maybe just a little bit upset of how it had happened. He never wanted you to feel like he had done that because he was lonely, like you’d said then. Or worse, to get back at Julie for her infidelity. In all honesty, he just liked being around you more than he remembered.

He really was worried that this would feel out of the blue for you. But, meanwhile Julie was off with this Joe guy this time around, he was growing apart from her and his love for her was starting to fade. You were also dealing with a lot and he had wanted so badly to check in and to talk to you, to be there for you, but you had asked for space from everyone and he wanted to respect that. He felt that he could have reached out anyway, just to let you know that he had your back or was there to support if you ever needed it, but he hadn’t. And now, he was a bit concerned that this all would seem like a convenient time for him to get close all to just hook up with you.

The context in general just had his anxiety skyrocketing and he was struggling to play it cool. Even the fact that you were playing it so cool had him worrying just a bit more because he liked you! And maybe to you it was just a thing that you’d done in the heat of the moment and again, he’d end up with hurt feelings. He would jump at the opportunity to do it again though, that’s what was scary to him. And well, like he had mentioned to you before, it wasn’t like he was just realizing what a catch you were. He knew that from way before. And the more he got to know you over the years, the more he grew to care about. He had found himself admiring you before but it was never more than just a thought in the moment. When you started to date Ash you started to pull away from all of them and he didn’t like that. To him, it was red flag behavior to have a partner who always wanted you to change things for the relationship to work. You were sacrificing a lot to keep that relationship going. And sure, you put on a happy face when someone you love asks you to do something for them but moving to the other side of the country where you know no one? Being away from your family? You had done everything you could and still, you were left high and dry.

A part of him understood what you had said when you told him that you felt weak for letting Ash affect you that way. He was familiar with the feeling, he had allowed your sister’s infidelity slide before. In a way, what he had going with her would be better than retuning to England and be neglected by his own family. At least here he knew that your family loved him and supported him. He had friends that were like his family, colleagues and mentors that were like parent figures to him and helped him get to where he was now. For all of that, he felt that staying in an unhappy marriage wasn’t such a big price to pay. But like all things we compromise our happiness for, it started to take a toll and now, he needed Julie to let him go.

Y/N’s POV:

After your first sexual encounter with Harry it was relieving to know that you were both on the same page about it. However, there was still a lingering fear over how far it would go the next time. Would there even be a next time? Should there even be a next time? The day prior had just been spent at the house relaxing with everyone, there were thankfully no weird or tense vibes between you. You’d gone out to shop for the Christmas meal ingredients and the rest of the ladies decided to tag along, which you were a bit bummed about because you wanted to take the time to think about what the fuck you were going to do about this thing with Harry. He was important to you, you did have love for him to a certain degree because he was part of the family, but now you were attracted to him and that could easily become something else. Something more…and well that would be weird, wouldn’t?

“Y/N!” Your aunt raised her voice as she waved her hand in your face.

“Huh?” You asked as you finally snapped out of your thoughts. 

“I wanted to know what wine the Christmas meal will pair well with?” She inquired. “I do prefer a white but depends on the red it goes with, I wouldn’t mind it.”

“I’m not too sure to be honest, just get what you like.” You assured her and she seemed satisfied with that answer before putting down the bottle of white she had picked up.

As you turned your gaze to find the scallions you locked eyes with your sister who gave you a slightly questioning gaze. To be fair, you did seem quite out of it and it wasn’t with no reason. You had a lot on your mind right now. When you located the scallions you started making your way over, not missing that she had followed after you.

“Hey, you good?” She asked you and you briefly turned to her and nodded.

“Yeah, just have a lot on my mind.” You explained.

“Mmm…with the holidays and all?” She asked and you just nodded. Obviously, she was asking if this had anything to do with Ash and you just agreed. “I do too. I’m really glad Harry got to be here for this. He really loves you guys and well, vice versa!” She explained, “But I do wish I could spend the holidays with well…” she trailed off.

“It’s that serious?”

“Yeah. Or at least to me. S’why he came a few days ago.” She said and you nodded. “I wonder what Harry’s gonna do when we split up…” she said quietly.

“I think he’ll be okay.” You assured her.

“Yeah… I do hope he finds happiness though.” She said and you felt your tummy do a funny flip when you wondered if you could make Harry happy? But that idea soured when you wondered if your sister would feel the same about Harry’s happiness if he wanted to explore that with you. Regardless, you let the thought go because it was a ridiculous one to ever consider. It’s not like anything with Harry could actually take off. You just offered her a smile before grabbing the little bunch of scallions and put them into the produce baggy. 

“Hey, ummm…I really just need some alone time today. Could you maybe talk everyone into going out for dinner so I can just cook something for myself and unwind a little?” You asked and she smiled and nodded.

“Yeah, of course.” She assured you.

With that, you felt a bit more at ease. You were looking forward to having some quiet time in the evening. That was until your sister asked if she could come into your room.

“Yeah, come in!” You called out.

“Hey, would you mind if Harry stayed behind with you? He’s not up for acting like everything is perfect with us.” She explained. You felt your body warming up at the sound of that. “He’s goo about keeping to himself.” She added in, as if you needed any further convincing.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You mumbled back as nonchalantly as possible.

“Okay, thank you. I don’t know if you noticed that he’s been sleeping in the room over here?” She asked and you nodded.

“I heard him coming in one night.”

“Okay. But I did tell him you really wanted some space tonight so he’ll be mindful of that.” She assured you.

“Thank you for going these lengths.” You smiled at her.

“It’s the least I could do for you after…you heard me out so graciously and-”

“You don’t need to thank me for that.” You assured her and she nodded with a small smile.

“I’ll see you tonight then.”

“You can also take them to get drunk afterwards if you want…” you added and she chuckled.

“We’ll see where the night takes us!” She said before leaving you.

After everyone had gone, you emerged from the shower and lazed around for a few more minutes undisturbed, which seemed a little odd to you. So you made your way out to the kitchen, thinking that you might coax Harry out to join you, but you were nearly done with your carbonara and he had not come out. You’d made enough for him, so decided to go get him. Your gentle raps on his door were greeted by him slightly opening up for you.

“Hey, I made carbonara for us for dinner.” You informed him and his lips quirked up a bit.

“Oh great, I was just about to order in.” He explained and your brows knotted together in confusion.

“You were gonna eat alone?”

“Well yeah, you wanted space, no?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, that’s true but not necessarily from you.” You explained timidly and he smiled a bit wider. “Kinda thought you would’ve come to grab me the moment everyone was gone.”

“Normally yeah. But I just…I thought it was because of me, you know? That you needed some space.” He explained.

“Oh…ummm…I can’t say that our situation hasn’t been on my mind a lot.” You explained, “But it’s more to do with everyone looking at me like a wounded bird.” You explained and he smiled a bit. “Like I get it, but goes back to the pride thing we talked about before. I just hate that I feel like I’m doing good but then everyone looks at me like I’m not and it makes me feel like shit.” You elaborated.

“For the record you are not giving wounded bird vibes. It’s more non-combative and I think that scares your family a bit. They might think it’s a facade when it’s not. You’re just moving through the acceptance of it.” He said, “Well, at least that’s what I gathered from what I’ve seen and what we’ve talked about.” 

“Well, thank you for…seeing me.” You said softly and he smiled. “So…do you want to have dinner with me?” You asked again. And he didn’t need any further coaxing before he was serving himself the other half of the food before you two were sat beside each other on stools around the kitchen island as you talked about how your days had gone. Your laughter had just died down from a story Harry had finished telling and you reached over to him.

“Wait, wait, wait….” You giggled. “You had sauce on your chin.” You laughed breathily as he held still for you to swipe it away with your thumb.

“Thanks.” He hummed as you pulled your hand away to wipe it on the napkin by your plate.

“Of course.” You assured him.

“I’ve been…thinking a lot about what happens when we go back home.” He said and the lightness of the mood started to fade.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah… like I…I care about you a lot and I don’t want you to feel like I just used you and I too don’t want to feel… used. I think it would hurt a lot more coming from you.” He explained. “But then, I also understand that no matter how we go about this, it’ll look really bad on us if we decide to…you know?” He said inquisitively and your gaze softened as you started to read between the lines of what he was saying. Did he want to try to be with you? “I don’t even know what I’m saying any more just…forget about it.” He mumbled.

“Harry.” You sighed as you reached for his arm. Your palm anded gently over his bicep. He looked up at you from his empty plate. “I don’t know what the fuck we’re even doing but I know that I feel safe with you. I feel taken care of. You hear me and see me. And whether it’s right or wrong, I have a huge fucking crush on you too.” You admitted “Just saying, you know? In case you…didn’t pick up on that before.” You said with less confidence now as you started to feel a little uncertain of the vulnerability you had just displayed. 

However, before you could second guess yourself any further, Harry was reaching for your face and leaning in as his lips kissed yours. You easily melted into his kiss and started leaning into him as well. And as your kiss grew more heated you had been moved onto the couch. You could feel his arousal through his pants and it was making you lose your self-control. You were obsessed with the way his arms squeezed around your waist so strongly, it made you feel small and delicate in his hold. It was different than with Ash, where you often felt like you were the one who did the caretaking. When he was holding you like this, you felt taken care. When he kissed you as deeply and intentionally as he was, you felt safe and warm from deep inside. 

“Let me suck you off.” you mumbled again his lips and Harry inhaled sharply.

“You don’t have to.” He breathed out.

“I want to.” You assured him, “Really badly.” You added, your eyes bore into his gaze, asserting your desire. “Please?” You asked softly as you placed a single kiss on his lips and then pulled back. “Know you want me to, so stop pretending.” You hummed with a smirk as you kissed his chin, then his jaw, and then his neck, where you sucked gently.

Harry rolled his head to the side to give you the space to work down the column of his throat with your lips. You were gentle, to ensure you weren’t leaving any marks on him, no matter how badly you wanted to. Your hand started to slither up beneath his shirt, feeling up his abs and his taut chest before bringing your hand down to the elastic band of his sweats. Your finger teased at it before you slid back a bit on his lap, enough to grope around the bulge in his pants. He sighed shakily as you rubbed the heel of your palm over his cock back and forth, making him squirm beneath you. After a bit of teasing you started to slide down to your knees and there was no falsified chivalry on his end any more. Harry was rushing to slid his bottoms down to his ankles while you pulled one of the pillows to the ground to kneel more comfortably. And when his cock was standing tall before your face your mouth started to salivate. You were so impatient to get him into your mouth. You reached for him and give him a few gentle strokes. You smiled up at him as you heard his breath hitch. His hot and smooth skin was making you impatient, so you just lowered your face and gave a testing lick from the base to his tip. 

“Fuck, please get me into your mouth.” He muttered desperately. You smirked up at him and proceeded to part your lips and sucked his tip between your lips. You let your tongue swirl around it, finding the underside of it and rubbing against it. You felt his thighs flex beneath one of your hands as he moaned deeply. “Fucking hell…”

You were wet just from hearing his lovely sounds as you sucked him off. You slowly started to take more, enjoying the feeling of his fingers tangling into your hair and helping you keep the pace that was making him shiver. He was bigger than your previous partners, so you were struggling with not being too sloppy, but he didn’t seem to mind it. Specially as you gagged around him as you tried to get him in all the way.

“Fuck, just use your hand for now. S’okay, you’ll get it eventually.” He assured you and that alone had your pussy fluttering, your walls were pulsing steadily from how turned on you were. 

Harry was encouraging and vocal and it was the hottest thing that you’d ever experienced. Even more so as he held you gently by the head and started to thrust into your mouth, you relaxed your jaw to help him get in as deep as he was craving. His muttered curses and praises were music to your ears. Despite that tearfulness in your eyes, you were thinking about when the next opportunity you’d get to do this again would be. He was getting close to coming from what he was saying and you were desperate to get a taste of him. You started to suck around his tip again and started to stroke at the pace he’d been thrusting, taking over once again. You felt his body just relax into the couch as one of his hands skimmed over your cheek, feeling the bulge of his cock against it.

“I’m gonna come…fuck…” he moaned deeply as your hot, little mouth worked him to his climax. And moments later you could feel his body starting to tense up beneath you. His breath hitch and you glanced up at him, his head was thrown back into the cushions, eyes squeezed shut as his jaw started to slack until the deepest moan flowed from his mouth as he started to come. His hand went back to your hair, gripping it hard as he held you in place until you felt the first spurt of his cum pooling on your tongue. You moaned around him in response which made his cock twitch as he started to shoot more of his sperm into your mouth. You swallowed around him quickly before you felt a few more spurts fill your mouth with his warmth and flavor before he was panting and threading his fingers into your hair. His thighs were trembling as you gave a few gentle sucks to clean him off before you pulled away from his length and let it plop down against his thigh.

He was still half hard and it made you wonder if he’d get back to full size if you played with him ever so gently. But that plan was soon cut short as he pulled you up onto the couch until you were laying across it. Harry was laid on his side as he kissed you and help you get your own pants and under wear down your legs until his fingers were skimming over your labia and then sliding down to your entrance to feel your arousal. You were so fucking wet, it was embarrassing in the slightest. He spread your arousal around you and started to rub against your clit with two gentle fingers. The circular motions were dizzying as you kissed sloppily. Your legs were spread for him, allowing him ease of access while he pleasured you. 

“Please.” You whispered as his two fingers teased at your entrance. He smirked and then sat up and placed the throw pillows beneath your back to prop you up enough against the  inner corner of the couch and then he sunk down between your legs onto his knees. You had a perfect view of him kissing up your thighs as he guided one of your legs over his shoulder and held the other open by the back of your thigh and planted it against the couch. 

When his lips met with your clit your walls clenched tight. Watching him was something different entirely, it was even more erotic to see him throw all caution out the window as he just buried his face between your legs. His hot, smooth tongue rolled over your clit in intentional swipes until you were trembling. You were pressing him even closer to you, grinding up against his face as you did everything you could to feel even more than you already were. When he finally put his fingers back in you were done for. 

Two of his thick digits were gliding in and out of your little hole with ease. The soft squelching sounds of the friction was making you eve more wet for him. The way he was thrusting in and rubbing into your g-spot and then sucking on your throbbing little clit was making your vision blur with pleasure. You just wanted to come for him and if he kept this up you would be making a mess. It was too much in the absolute best way possible. Your blood was flowing hot and heavy through your veins, you were completely losing yourself as your hips started to grind into his movements all on their own. You were right on the edge, just needing a few more seconds of his merciless fingers prodding into your g-spot to get you to come. A broken cry left your mouth and then it happened. Despite how badly you wanted to watch, your eyes squeezed shut and your head rolled back into the pillows as you started to come. 

“H-harry! Oh my god!” You gasped as he started to finger fuck you a bit harder and he started to rub at your clit with his thumb instead as he leaned over you now.

“Look at me. Right at me, baby.” He said lowly and your glassy eyes met with his and he smirked at the sight of you all fucked out from his fingers alone. “You’re squeezing so fucking hard. You’re gonna come again, aren't you?” He asked and you nodded, “Come on then. Come for me, baby.” He egged you on and kissed you to swallow down your sounds. 

Your walls were spasming around his fingers erratically. Your thighs were trying to close around his body but couldn’t as he was in the way. But thankfully, his pace and intensity started to diminish enough that you started to relax. And when he pulled his fingers from you he sucked them clean before delving back into your space to kiss you. Your lips smeared together sloppily for a few more minutes as you caught your breath and came down from your orgasms. 

“Alright?” He asked with a teasing smile and you nodded wordlessly, still reeling mentally. You pulled him back down for another kiss. This one was slow and deep, you both got lost in it for several minutes until the kiss ended naturally. “I really fucking like you.” Harry said softly and you felt your face going all hot with a blush.

“I really like you too.” You whispered back.

Day Ten:

To say that you were on cloud nine after your evening with Harry, was an understatement. You just felt good all around in a way that you hadn’t in quite a long while. Even the lingering concern of what you would do in regards to your sister wasn’t enough to break you out of this high you were feeling. 

  Not surprising, but everyone was pretty hungover from their dinner and drinks outing the night before. You and Harry had to go and pick then up nearly at 11pm. By then, you two had been cuddled up in your bed and watching a film but the call from Julie soon came for you two to come to their aid, one of you to drive them home and the other to drive back Julie’s car. All this to say that your morning was quiet. By the time you’d returned from your walk, showered, and sat for breakfast, only you and Harry were up and active and found yourselves on the lounge chairs, taking in some sun side by side. The look he gave you revealed that he wanted to be closer, but alas, that wasn’t possible in this particular setting.  

It was past noon when your sister emerged from the pool house, she had ordered in some food and was going to get it. The door bell ringing is what roused everyone else and you and Harry made them breakfast for lunch and aided them in balancing out the effects of the hangover. You had retired to your bedroom for a bit and you perked up at the soft knocks on your door. You were fully expecting to see Harry but saw your sister peeking in instead.

“Hey, do you have a few minutes?” She asked and you nodded, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. She dropped onto your bed and exhaled shakily. “Thanks for keeping Harry entertained. I know it’s not your responsibility but-”

“Oh no, it’s alright. We get along well and I’ve liked having someone to talk to.” 

“Okay. He seems to enjoy your company as well and ummm…I just…I don’t want you to get hurt any more. Like, maybe he’s doing other subconsciously, but I feel like he’s flirting with you a little just to make me jealous or upset? I don’t know…” she sighed and you felt a lump forming in your throat.

“I don’t get that feeling at all, Julie. I think that it’s nice for someone to see you and appreciate you when you haven’t had that for a long time. He’s not creepy and he doesn’t make me uncomfortable in any way. I think the way that you guys are all walking on eggshells around me trying to not make me feel overwhelmed with care, he’s just being a little bit more attentive towards me. That’s how he’s showing me that he cares about what I’ve been dealing with, you know?”

“And you’re okay with that?” She asked and you nodded.

“He’s not over bearing about it like mom and dad are.” You explained and she nodded in understanding. “Also, we’ve just…gotten a little closer with everything going on. We both needed someone to confide in, you know?”

“And what about me? I confided in you but you’re siding with him?” She asked and you sighed.

“It’s not that simple…I think we’re both in the position of being let down by people we were in love with.” You explained and she sighed.

“Right.” 

“Yeah and it’s just…easier to be there for each other when we know what it is that we’re dealing with, you know?” 

“Yeah. I get it.” She said curtly and then stood up wordlessly and left. You sighed and were tempted to go after her but decided to just give her some space before bringing it up again.

It was around dinner time when you had stepped out for a little smoke, you had skipped lunch and with this small tiff with your sister now on your mind, you weren’t feeling too hungry for dinner, but you needed to have something. Harry interrupted you and stepped out onto your small patio.

“Hey.” He greeted you and you smiled slightly.

“Hey…so my sister came by and basically wanted to know if I had noticed that you were being really friendly with me to piss her off.” you explained and he sighed. “I told her that I did see it in that way and that we were actually getting along really well and just sharing what we’ve been dealing with and that we were both bonding over the experience of disappointed by people we were in love with.” You continued, “And then she got upset and left. So if she’s pissed at you later it might be because of that.” You informed him.

“Noted…” he hummed and took the joint that you offered over. He took a hit before returning it to you.

“When we get back home, we should make time to hang out.”

“Of course we’re gonna hang out.” Harry said.

“I know that…but Julie might not be too happy about us being friends.”

“Is that what we are then? Friends?” He asked you with a small smirk.

“Yeah. We are…for all intents and purposes.” You explained. “I just really don’t want her to keep thinking that you’re doing this to get back at her for cheating, you know? Maybe if she sees that we have a genuine connection she’ll be more open if anything more pans out.” You explained cautiously. You didn’t want to jump the gun with what this could be with him and you also wanted to protect your sister’s feelings.

“So, just to clear this up…down the line…if I asked you on a date…”

“I’d say yes.” You assured him with a timid smile as your eyes met his.

“Good to know.” He hummed with a smile. 

Day Eleven:

You had woken up feeling a bit more deflated. Your sister’s anger had carried over into the night and no doubt into this new day. She was also giving Harry an extra cold shoulder, not really worried about keeping up appearances, like she usually would. That night, she asked Harry if they could go out and talk. Harry did text you that she was still pretty pissed off and you just went to bed instead of waiting up for a visit from him. Sure enough, your theory was proven correct when you joined everyone for breakfast and your sister just shot a quick glance at you before carrying on with fixing up her plate. She also seemed to be ignoring Harry and was being curt with everyone else, so at least her wrath wasn’t limited to you.

But throughout the day, she just continued having drinks, keeping her buzz going until she just had to lay down for a bit. Your family celebrated on the 24th, given your mother’s cultural background so you counted her out of helping you with dinner prep and Harry jumped in, in her stead. You were having a lovely time with him and your mom to prepare the meal you’d all share later on before your gift exchange. After a couple hours of work you’d all gone your separate ways to get ready for dinner. You always did a family picture before eating, so you got slightly dressed up for that. You had just finished your make up and then got into your outfit. It wasn’t anything too fancy, just pair of brown, gingham print trousers and a green button up cardigan. You got some chunky, silver hoops on and left the chain you wore everyday around your neck. For the photo, you got into the ballet flats you’d brought, you’d definitely change back into your scuffette’s after the photo. With a few spritzes of perfume, you were hurrying out of your bedroom since you were being called to hurry up. You saw everyone already out in the living room, talking about what the best arrangement would be for the photo. In the end, you just sat criss-cross on the ground and after a few attempts everyone was pleased with how it came out and you all sat down for dinner. 

“Seems like Julie’s back to her normal self.” You said to Harry as she insisted on fixing his plate. 

“She’s just really fucking drunk.” He said quietly, “Lucky for us, she’s an affectionate drunk.” He mumbled and you hummed. 

Soon everyone was seated and you started having your meal together. Due to her drinking binge, Julie was definitely being the life of the party. At least for now, everything was going as it should have. You were all laughing and getting along, your worries being the last things on your minds. You rushed off to change after eating so that you could participate in the games more comfortably. And it did help, because you were having a lot of fun playing board games with everyone. You and Harry were exchanging heated glances the entire time and it was going by unnoticed thanks to everyone’s slight drunkenness. And soon after, you also enjoyed a couple rounds of karaoke to kill some time before opening the presents. When you guys did your traveling christmases you only did a secret Santa amongst each other since the main expense was the traveling bit. Regardless, your mother had gotten you the lovely earrings that you’d put on your wishlist and you immediately got them on. Everyone else seemed pleased with their gifts and maybe it was because they were so drunk. The first one to tap out was your sister, who disappeared to the pool house as you guys had a few more goes at the portable karaoke mic Harry had brought along before your aunt turned in and then your parents soon followed. It nearing 2am though, so you weren’t surprised and well, your issues with insomnia were coming pretty in handy as you and Harry had another go at a card game, Go Fish, for your benefit.

“You have to know that I’m a sore loser.” You warned with a grin.

“Well, you can work on it.” He chuckled quietly. “Do you have a five?”

“You suck.” You mumbled as you handed it over and he chuckled.

“Losers can get prizes too.”

“Like?” You asked with a smirk.

“Like…loser has to share their bed with me.” He said lowly and your lips twitched up in a slight grin.

“Looks like I have no more sets.” You decided and he laughed quietly before you also started giggling quietly. Eventually, you did lose, but in a larger sense, you’d won. 

Your lips met Harry’s gently through your giggles as he walked you down the dark hallway to your bedroom. Thankfully, you’d left the door ajar and you two were able to push inside easily. He closed it quietly before walking over to you and grabbing your face and bringing your lips to his own. 

Your kiss was slow and deep, absolutely dripping with the yearning that had been building up between you two over the night. The way his hands started to roam over your body made you feel desirable in the best way. You could get lost in your lust for each other and enjoy it completely. He was so warm, you wanted to feel him skin to skin. So you tugged at the hem of his t-shirt and he very quickly got the hint. Your lips made a quick smacking sound as they parted wetly from his. You reared back to allow him to get undressed and you took advantage and pulled off your top quickly. Before you even had a chance to unclasp your bra he was pulling the cups down and leaning down to suck at your nipple. You sighed happily as his free hand reached around you to get the bra off. You loved how impatient he was and appreciated his urgency. Next thing you knew, you were falling back onto your bed as he kissed over your right breast now. You whined lowly when he nibbled down with a little too much force on your sensitive little bud. Your tight grip in his hair reeled him back.

“Sorry.” He mumbled against your heated skin and then started kissing his way up to your lips again.

“S’alright.” You assured him before he pecked your lips again. “Ummm…I did have a question though… did you ummm…did you want to h-have sex?” You asked him with a slightly nervous tone on your voice.

“Eventually. But I think that tonight we both drank a little too much for comfort.” He brought up, “So to answer your question, yes. But tonight’s not the time. Tonight, I just kinda wanna lay here and hold you.” He hummed with a smile.

“Topless?” You asked and he grinned.

“If possible, yes. I like how it feels to be against you, skin to skin.” 

You felt your blood rushing up to your face at this suddenly romantic feeling blossoming between you two. He settled in beside you and draped his arm over your waist to hold you close. 

“What I said earlier about waiting? Was that the right answer?” He asked and you smiled.

“Definitely.” You confirmed. “But I still want to. I want to so freakin’ bad.”

“Stop with that please.” He chuckled before landing a gentle smack to your lower back. You grinned and then leaned up to land a gentle smooch to his bottom lip.

“Does that mean no kissing?” You asked.

“No, we can definitely kiss.” He mumbled as he dipped down and attached his lips to yours. Suddenly you heard the sliding door from the pool house open, meaning Julie had emerged. “Shit, shit, shit!” He whisper shouted as he  untangled his body from yours. You heard the sliding back door open as well, and just like that, she was inside. Harry was trying to find his clothes without turning on the light. 

“Harry?” You heard her calling from a distance.

“Hide! Just hide!” You rushed out as you heard her coming towards the hallway and calling for him again. 

Harry rushed out to your small patio and out of sight just as you heard your sister’s soft raps against his bedroom door. You sprung out of bed and grabbed a hoodie you had thankfully left on top of the dresser and rushed into the bathroom to get it on in case she decided to pay you visit. You had just put your hands through the sleeves when you heard your bedroom door open and the first thought you had was to flush the toilet and after a few moments you ran the tap to “wash your hands” and then stepped out to see her splayed out on your bed.

“Fuck! What’re you doing here?!” You asked her, trying to sound genuinely startled by her presence.

“Have you seen Harry?” She asked you monotonously and you didn’t trust your voice, but spoke up anyway.

“Uhhh, nope.”

“He’s not in his room.”

“So he’d be here?” You asked.

“I don’t know…just thought maybe he said something to someone if he took off or something.” She then pressed herself up to sit and sighed. “The bed kinda smells like him.” She said softly.

“I think that’s you. You’re wearing one of his shirts.” You pointed out to her and she glanced down and then let out a little giggle. 

“Duh…Sorry…I just…I have a weird feeling.”

“About?”

“Him. He’s been…weird on this trip. Everyone was asking me about it at dinner the other day and I just, didn’t know what to say.” She explained.

“How about a little bit of the truth?”

“No. Way.” She said defensively as she got out of your bed.

“You can’t hide the truth forever. And you don’t have to tell them all the gory details just yet. But, just say that things aren’t going well between you two and are just deciding what the next move is. And not to rub salt in the wood or whatever, but I can’t imagine a world in which any person would be comfortable playing pretend for this long. Maybe you’re better at carrying secrets than he is? Specially if he’s only been keeping it for your sake.” You explained and she sighed.

“I feel like such an asshole every time I talk to you.” She muttered as she walked past you and out of your bedroom. “I’m going to go back to bed.” She said lowly and then closed the door behind her. 

You waited in complete silence, ear pressed against the door to ensure that she was actually heading off and when you heard the sliding door to the backyard open you quietly opened up your own little patio door and Harry hurried inside, trembling from the cold.

“Jesus, m’nearly hypothermic.” He chattered and you were quick to pull open on of your drawers and hand over another sweatshirt you had. You liked them oversized, so you knew he could fit into it easily. And he was quick to pull it over his body and then pulled you into his arms to get more warmth.

“I think you should sleep in your room tonight. Julie, she’s got like a feeling about you or something. She seemed upset.”

“As if she had any right to be upset…” he mumbled.

“I know, but we just need to take it easy, I think.” You weighed in and he nodded.

“You’re right. One more day here and then we can figure things out.” He said quietly as he gave you a little squeeze and you nodded.

“Yeah, just one more day.”

Day Twelve:

It was Christmas Day, but it was also your last day at this house. After Julie’s little midnight run in you had a really hard time going back to sleep, so you started to pack up and then got tired around 6am before passing out for a few hours. It was nearing midday when you woke up again because of the commotion in the kitchen. You washed up and then headed out and greeted your family who were barely starting their first meal of the day. You had just finished fixing your plate up when you saw Harry and Julie approaching hand in hand. They were all smiles as they talked while taking their time to make it to the main house. It was so believable to see them like that, it made your stomach drop. And then you felt that ache in your chest that made your throat start to swell up in that familiar way it always did when you were sure to cry. 

“Looks like everything’s back to normal.” You heard your mom say before you just forced your gaze away and focused back on the task at hand. Whatever the hell was going on right now, you didn’t want it in your face, so you were planning on sneaking away to your bedroom to eat but where soon called out.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Your aunt asked loudly just as your sister and Harry made it inside. “Come eat with us! It’s our last day.” She insisted with an eager smile. But you were just glancing at Harry who immediately found a way to untangle his hand from Julie’s, but only to pull her into his side. You looked back at your aunt, ready to decline.

“Exactly! Our last day here. We should eat together.” Your father added in decidedly.

“Okay.” You said and found your seat between him and your aunt. 

To say that the PDA was on between Harry and your sister, felt like an understatement. This was reminiscent of the when they first started dating. At that time you were very observant and vigilant around Harry. He was new to your lives and you wanted to ensure that his actions matched his words. And obviously, they did and he absolutely fawned over your sister in a way that made you jealous. You were seldom jealous of her but when it came to this kind of attention, she always seemed to be the lucky one. The way her lovers would dote on her and adore her was unfamiliar to you. You hadn’t had that before. You’d always landed the worst people, wolves in sheep’s clothing. You had started to wonder if maybe there was something wrong with you because the way he was looking at her, whether it was genuine or not, was not something you had experienced before. And you wanted it so badly. You finished eating quickly and then slipped away, not wanting to have to look at that, at him, any longer. 

After a while, you heard everyone starting to head out to swim and you decided to stop being a party poor and join in. You had just stepped out of your bedroom when Harry stepped out of his room.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” You responded.

“Look, about earlier-”

“No, don’t worry about it.” You shook your head, “It’s a me thing. You did nothing wrong.” You assured him.

“I’m still sorry.” He said and you smiled slightly.

“I must admit…I was a little…jealous too.” You confessed.

“Don’t be.”

“It’s just…always been a little neck and neck with us…a lot of comparisons and competition… so I just…get insecure around her sometimes.” You said as you looked down between you and focused on a spot on the floor. Confessing this to him was hard enough, you would be writhing in discomfort if you held eye contact.

“Look at me.” He insisted. “C’mon.” He insisted and you glanced up into his eyes and smiled at him and then he just surged forward and kissed you passionately. You were lost in it for a few moments before pulling away.

“Not smart.”

“I know, sorry.” He hummed and gave you one final smooch before pulling back. You then just looked at each other for a few moments and then you surged forward and grabbed his jaw and just as you started to tiptoe to reach him you heard a gasp and froze.

“What the fuck are you doing?” You heard your sister question angrily. 

“Jules, just leave it.” Harry cut in as you turned around. 

“I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking-”

“No! You weren’t! What the fuck?!” She whisper shouted. “I knew it!” She seethed. “Whatever the fuck this is, it ends with this trip.” She asserted, looking between the two of you. “I know that I fucked up but that’s still my husband.” She said to you directly now and you nodded.  “And you’ve been sabotaging me, haven’t you? To get to him?” She asked and you scoffed.

“No!”

“it’s not like that.” Harry chimed in and she glanced to him. “Don’t even act offended or territorial over me. You don’t love me.” He reminded her and she clenched her jaw.

“Whether we’re divorced or not, that’s still my sister. It’s fucked up.” She said. “This all ends here.” She stated firmly before rushing off. Your eyes met Harry’s in concern and he shook his head.

“It’ll be okay. It’ll all work out.” He assured you.

“I hope so.”

“It will. It’ll be our Christmas miracle.” He said with a small smile and your own smile started to spread over your lips. 

“Okay.” You whispered, deciding to believe him in that moment. You had to believe that everything would work out exactly as it should. These twelve days had been absolutely perfect and it couldn’t end there. There was definitely more to him. To you. And to what you could be together.

NEXT PART...

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[autisticfaun420]

My life with level 2 (part 1)

I'm making this post to share some things about my life and give an idea about what my support needs are

1. Every morning I wake up sealed in my cubby bed, an enclosed bed that keep me trapped inside so I dont wander and hurt myself or roll out and have a meltdown (common things that happen with me and regular beds). It's also soft so I don't potentially bang my head against something hard. you're probably wondering well how do I go to the bathroom at night. That brings me to my next point.

2. Every morning after opening up my cubby bed either my mom, dad, caregiver, or occasional close friend takes me to my changing station in my room and begins to change my diaper. Thats right I was NEVER able to potty train and due to EXTREME sensory issues I am unable to change myself. This means I need constant super vision as I always need someone to change me, also calm me down if meltdown, etc. I simply have no way to tell I need to go, 1 or 2, till its much too late. So yeah diapers are an all day thing not just at night.

3. I'm older then 20 and my parents are l now my legal guardians for life, and if they can't do it I have friends that will step up. I'm not sure exactly what this means legally but I take it to mean Im basically still a kid to them on like, every level. They respect my intelligence but they still set the rules. One that always kind of gets people mad but then they understand is the fact that I have child safety internet settings on my tablet and phone, I can't access most social media websites and I'm not alliowed YouTube only YouTube Kids. This is because my parents and close friends agree that these teenage boys from a nearby town were trying to make me an "lol cow", basicallly a target for online harassment and bullying and trolling me because I was special needs and active on social media. Tumblr with my parents having the username and password and log ins and they check it every day is all I get. My friends and parents show me things from TikTok and Youtube that they think i'll like so I don't miss out. Oh yeah and I would binge watch horror and terror content on youtube, something that a lot of autistic people do apparently, however I mentally can't handle it. I wake up and freak out and hit myself all night and lose sleep for a week and end up in a mental hospital cause I'm hurting myself and not sleeping. Not fun... at all. I had unrestricted internet access as a teenager and I'm glad that part of my life is over. My parents do however let me eat cannabis edibles every day so its not like they're over protective, just protective in the way I need.

4. My parents are my emotional coregulators and I rely on them heavily, a lot of the time just to know how I'm feeling. I break down emotionally frequently and if my parents or a select few of my friends aren't there to cuddle me and rub my back the right way, I FREAK out and start hitting myself cause my brain is a bit nutty I guess. I'm needy with those I love to a rediculous degree. I'm a lot better, still not great, at self soothing. Self soothing is an oxymoron for me. I kinda need to be with somebody to be told to calm down, encouraged to come out my shell, praised when I do something good, and just having a hand to hold. My mom is rubbing my back encouraging me to write this out like I said I wanted to do.

5. I need to stim, constantly. I'm always rocking, fidget toy and plushie in hand chewing on my chewing laynyard, you get the idea. I also need audio and visual stims which I get in the form of watching bright colorful little kid shows on my tablet like Blues Clues and Daniel Tiger. I think this is why people don't think I'm smart but its just who I am and what my needs are.

I think this is a good starting point, I'll make a part 2 later.

[draconic-distress]

Ok i know i don’t really fragmem post over here but there’s something that’s been bothering me lately that i kinda wanna talk about in the same vein as my past analysis posts. I’m not trying to start anything and everyone is entitled to their headcanons and opinions, and I will continue to believe that because it’s rude to overstep on things like that. That being said…

This post is about Myunna’s age. And the fact that, seeing as they’re often viewed and depicted as a child by the fandom…

Then why isn’t Rimicha?

Like I said, I’m not looking to start a fight, and I’m not trying to change anyone’s headcanons or beliefs. This is just something that’s been bothering me personally, and I thought I’d bring it up while we wait for the final part of Blue episode 3 to come out in a few days.

To start off, I wanna compare Rimicha and Myunna as characters and examine what makes them so childlike in the fandom’s eyes—the latter more than the former. A lot of surface level things are easy to pick up on:

Both of them have very ‘’’childlike’’’ personalities, in terms of coming across as irresponsible, skittish, excitable, insecure due to their inexperience in comparison to their fellow knights, etcetera.

2. Similarly to the previous point, this behavior can also lead to other people treating them differently, be it teasingly/affectionately or just outright talked down to like they're kids. This carries over to the fandom in a way

3. Both of them are barely over five foot. In fact, Rimicha is only three inches taller than Myunna (Rimicha is 5’5” or 165 cm, Myunna is 5’2” or 157 cm). That’s not a very big discrepancy

4. Both of them are twinks. I’m correct and you know that I mean look at them. They’re both skinny, shorter boys who appear younger and more androgynous in comparison to their peers and seniors

5. Both of them are not only the youngest of their Bouquets, but are also the youngest of all the Fragaria Knights overall

This chartthat was recently released by the official twitter shows the age:time serving ratio of each knight, and seems to imply that each space is only a one year gap between characters—for the most part—which already tells us a lot. Based on that math, Myunna and Rimicha are barely a year apart in age, and less than that in the amount of time between when they each became knights.

So all things considered, Myunna and Rimicha are roughly the same age and should be treated as such, right?

But the thing is… they’re not.

Rimicha is treated as an adult by the fandom, he’s his fellow knight’s peer and trusted ally, and the fandom doesn’t deny that for even a second. Myunna, however, is treated as a child, as in like 10-14 age range, and is not viewed with the same respect and fairness their Red Bouquet contemporary is.

Something about that has always bothered me. With how they both act, look, and the fact they're the youngest of their groups—and overall—it's strange that the fandom views them so differently when there's so much similarity between them. I genuinely don't know where that would've come from.

One reason I can believe for people viewing Myunna as younger by comparison is the fact that they’ve skipped a grade in Knight School, as confirmed by the interviews conducted for the first anniversary

I can see why this would make people think that, but I really don't think it quite adds up to conclude that Myunna is a minor, especially if it was only one year they skipped.

We don't know much about Knight School, so for now let's say it lasts about as long as a normal high school/college, and you go for four years. And let's say Myunna was 14 when they started going, since that seems like a reasonable age for them to have started going while still being young.

By that math, the youngest they could've graduated would be 17. I doubt they'd let anyone under like 16 be a knight, but I can believe Myunna—who would have been over 16 based on our math—became a knight right out of the gate if they really were that prodigal.

To add on to this, let's take note of our good friend the age:time served ratio chart again:

notice the portion I've circled, which is roughly 1 1/2–2 1/2 knights long. If we're going off of the logic that one space equates to one year, then that means by the time the actual main story of Blue Bouquet occurs and we're introduced to Myunna, then according to our math they would have to be 18–19 years old minimum at that point.

This logic can also work backwards towards the argument that Rimicha is also a minor, by virtue of the fact that he must have been in Knight School around the same time, and is only a year older than Myunna—I personally believe they're both adults, though, albeit very young adults.

So what's the deal? Like genuinely I wanna hear everyone's perspective on this because I don't know where that split came from. What about Rimicha makes him seem more like an adult than Myunna?

Like I said, I'm not trying to start anything by pointing this out, it's just something I noticed within the fandom and wanted to put down my thoughts about. I won't disrespect anyone's views or headcanons because of my own thoughts, so if you don't want to believe what I have to say, then you're under absolutely no obligation to, and that's ok. If you have your own input, then feel free to share, just please be civil. Everyone's entitled to their opinions, even if we disagree, and I'll continue to respect that!

[kj-bee]

This is my VERY first Fic Writing year-end round-up and I'm really thankful to anyone who's ever read my fics and grateful to all the amazing friends that I have made due to writing fanfiction. It's truly been one of the best things that this year has brought me 💖

I was tagged by @firenati0n, @0npurpose, @sophie1973 @thesleepyskipper and @clockwrkpendrxgon !!

My details:

My ao3: KBee81

My fandom: Red, White & Royal Blue

Total no. of fics in 2024: 36 (33 oneshots and 3 multichaps with 1 that is still in progress)

Total word count: 135,989

JANUARY

🌟Lay Your Hands On Me (2.5K | Explicit)

Henry comes back to the Brownstone-and Alex-after being away. They missed each other (like always) but Henry missed a few things in particular.

FEBRUARY

🌟I don't want to dance (if I'm not dancing with you) (9.4k | Explicit | 2 chapters)

Alex is on a mission to "get plowed." Henry offers to help. Based on a rizcriz prompt.

🌟The Princess Question (1.1K | General)

Henry and Alex talk about princes and princesses with their daughter. She comes to some interesting conclusions.

🌟I'm a fire (I'll keep your brittle heart warm) (1.8K | Teen)

Henry and Alex have a different first meeting. Henry is a little awkward when confronted with Alex in a swimsuit. Based on a prompt from DIBS (@rwrqueer on X).

🌟all I know is (everything has changed) (1.3K | General)

Alex crashes his cart into Henry at the grocery store, causing a BIg realization.

MARCH

🌟the truth(or dare) from my red lips (4.5K | Teen)

Alex and Henry play Truth or Dare. They both come out winners.

🌟dancing round the kitchen in the refrigerator light (2K | Teen)

Inspired in part by geonBAEeee's art. Henry and Alex, now living in the Brownstone, celebrate Henry's birthday.

🌟Kiss and Tell (2.7K | Teen)

Inspired by @everwitch-magiks, a Kissing Booth AU of a Kissing Booth AU.

🌟make the friendship bracelets (2K | General)

Henry Fox wears friendship bracelets and Alex wants one too. Inspired by a post by @yrsdiaz and the Red, White and Royally Old group chat.

🌟champagne bubbles and buttercream kisses (2.1K | Explicit)

Henry helps Alex celebrate his birthday with champagne, a cupcake with buttercream frosting and a blowjob (a missing scene from CMQ's novel).

APRIL

🌟settle into slumber (deep as love) (1K | General)

Henry is putting his daughter to sleep with a bedtime story and Alex falls asleep too. Inspired by hn @shitsidrew on Twitter.

🌟never before and ever since (loml) (2K | Teen)

Henry and Alex ended things. But a few years later, Henry came out and abdicated. He moved to New York City to start a new life.

He finds a familiar pair of warm brown eyes in the crowd one night. Inspired by hn @shitsidrew art.

MAY

🌟I choose you and me (religiously) (7.7K | Mature)

Henry's POV of the Storming of Kensington and the V & A scene.

JUNE

🌟you'd have to stop the world (just to stop the feeling) (5.1K | Explicit)

Henry uses a condom as a bookmark but Alex finds a better use for it. Inspired by a tweet from mari @undrthe_figtree.

🌟cross your thoughtless heart (1.1K | General)

It’s a normal, ordinary Tuesday when Alex finally has the realization. He isn’t really sure how it began or when it started, but one random Tuesday, when he’s at work, he finally notices. Henry has been packing him lunches.

JULY

🌟summer lovin' (happened so fast) (3.8K | Teen)

Henry works up the courage to get Alex to sign his yearbook. It's the beginning of a summer romance...but what will happen in the fall? Inspired by Poms (@princebambiuk on Twitter).

🌟karaoke crimes (this song's for you) (1.3K | General)

His witness is unable to visually identify a suspect from the line up, so Detective Alexander Claremont-Diaz uses an unconventional method to pinpoint the perp. Inspired by Brooklyn 99.

🌟you kiss me (it stops time) (1.3K | Teen)

Alex and Henry are shoved in a closet for Seven Minutes in Heaven.

🌟everything you lose is a step you take (1.2K | Teen)

Alex moves to London and gets a UK phone number. It just so happens to be the old phone number of Arthur Fox. Every holiday, anniversary, or important day ever. Henry texts that number because it’s been vacant since his dad died. (a rizcriz prompt)

🌟Whisk-y Business (2.2K | Explicit)

Henry attempts to make a quiche. Alex is a little...distracting OR a fic based on @0npurpose's prompt "Take one more step and I can't be held accountable for my actions." (Part of Summer Switcheroo exchange)

🌟your future history (it's time) (739 | Teen)

Alex and Henry, both rugby players at the Olympics, take part in the tradition of switching shorts after the game. Henry wants to start a different tradition OR me getting inspired by a tweet about the Olympic rugby players switching shorts...

AUGUST

🌟swing with you (for the fences) (2.3K | General)

Olympian Alexander Claremont-Diaz-Fox has a very special cheering section when he swims for a medal. Inspired by @oohthephysicist's tweet.

🌟this happens once (every few lifetimes) (2.1K | General)

What happens when Alex and Henry go inside Alex's childhood home in Austin after the reelection. (A Missing Scene)

🌟save a horse (600 | General)

Inspired by a tumblr post from @rockingtheorange, Henry and Alex meet at a karaoke bar (a short drabble).

SEPTEMBER

🌟I bet (you can't only have one) (3.8K | Teen)

Alex and Henry have a Kissing Bet.

OCTOBER

🌟my beloved ghost (and me) (2.1K | General)

Alex is not crazy or insane, but he’s pretty sure that his apartment is haunted.

It’s a new development. Only in the last couple of days has he felt like he’s not alone, like there’s another presence in the apartment with him when he’s supposed to be by himself.

He has acquired a ghost, somehow. It’s the only explanation that makes sense.

🌟Talk Turkey to Me (1.5 | General)

Henry teases Alex about The Great Turkey Calamity.

🌟hooked on you (2.1K | General)

What he really needs is a distraction - something to get his mind off of how it feels like they are driving over large potholes in the sky. Something that takes all of his focus so he’s not thinking about all the ways he could die in this flimsy held-together-with-duct-tape-and-dreams bucket too many feet away from the sweet, safe and reliable ground beneath his feet.

Alex is running through a list of possible distractions when the ball of yarn hits him on the foot. Inspired by a post by CMQ during their travels for The Pairing book tour.

NOVEMBER

🌟you can see it (with the lights out) (6K | Teen)

Alex freezes, hands clenched at his side. The hair on the back of his neck stands up. “Wait,” he says slowly. “Are you telling me that I am not alone on the ship?”

His mother’s voice hums. Even though she’s not here, Alex feels like he can almost see her small smile. It was the same look that she gave him when she was helping him with his homework when he was little, and he got the answer right.

“Yes, Alex,” OS answers. “You are not alone.” A Darkness Outside Us AU.

DECEMBER

🌟the warmest bed (I've ever known) (7.2K | Teen)

Another caketastrophe, a few misunderstandings and OPERATION ONE BED.

🌟Spotify Wrapped Drabbles 2024 (1.6K | Teen)

A collection of drabbles inspired by my Spotify Wrapped.

🌟all dressed up (in stardust & tinsel) (3.4K | Teen)

Alex has had a long and storied love of Christmas trees and by extension, Christmas tree decorating. There’s a science to it. A method to the madness for maximum Christmas spirit and festivity.

Whatever Henry is doing? Well, it’s not it. It’s not even close.

OR Alex helps Henry decorate a Christmas tree and learns something new in the process.

🌟got my love (to keep me warm) (4.5K | Teen)

He plans to say something sweet perhaps, or at least something less abrupt and awkward. But like always, his mouth moves faster than his brain and he ends up blurting out “Do you think anyone actually knows what fun it is to ride a one horse open sleigh, or are we all just taking their word for it?”

Henry lifts his head up, and looks at Alex, fighting a smile. Alex can see the laughter in his eyes.

OR Operation One Bed continues when Alex and Henry go for a winter sleigh ride.

🌟take me home (forever and ever) (1.6K | Teen)

Alex has a proposal plan that doesn't, well, go according to plan.

🌟kiss me at midnight (4.8K | Teen)

Henry hates New Year's Eve, until he doesn't.

WIPs & UPCOMING FICS

🌟grab my hand (don't ever drop it) (36K | 6/? chapters | Mature)

This is a The Charm Offensive AU - Alex is a producer on a reality dating show where Henry is a reluctant Prince Charming who's dating a large group of women. When true love happens, it doesn’t always follow a script.

I WILL NEVER ABANDON THIS but I lost a little motivation for it. Finishing this fic is one of my goals for 2025.

🌟I have a few other things in mind and I have an upcoming fic for the Wrap It Up exchange. Looking forward to seeing how much I can improve as a writer and where writing takes me in the next year. Thank you all for your support and words of cheer because they really do encourage me!

If you have not been tagged, please use this as an open one and I will also tag a few people that I don't think I've seen fic round-ups from (no pressure):

@miharaikko @jafffacakess @msmarvelouswinchester

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 22: You're Talking Me Through

Summary: When Loki’s down for the count, he learns he doesn’t have to weather the storm alone. Along the way, he realizes a few things. 

Contents: This entire chapter takes place in a hospital; however, the blood and gore are kept to a minimum (if at all). There are, however, descriptions of almost fainting, pain, and medical equipment. If you like hurt/comfort, you’ll love this chapter. This is a chapter almost entirely composed of Loki/Theo interactions, which we haven’t had in a while! Also, the slow burn is burning, if you catch my drift 😉

Author's Note: Happy new year, and happy 150,000 words of WEMTBB (according to AO3)! Starting with this chapter, I’m changing how I share WEMTBB updates — I’ll have the first bit of the chapter posted on tumblr, but then link to AO3 to read the full chapter. With AI scraping more and more sites for text to train their language models, I don’t feel comfortable posting full chapters on tumblr anymore, but I know some folks still get updates here so I don’t want to leave them in the dark when things get posted and I want it to be easy for folks to reblog/share if they enjoyed reading! I’ll eventually go back and update the past chapters to this format as well, as time allows.

Anyways, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for continuing to stick with this story, even when my updates aren’t as frequent as they used to be (I wish I had the time to give 5k-10k updates each week, but capitalism and having to work during my peak creative time puts a damper on things.) I’m also toying with the idea of writing a few chapters ahead before I post the next chapter so I can have a backlog and hopefully get back on a more consistent posting schedule. We’re getting to the point where the slow burn is, well, burning and I’m quite excited for it 😉

if you are still here, feel free to send a wave and lmk! As always, I love hearing thoughts/comments/reactions, whether you want to comment, reblog, or send me a message — I love nerding about these dweebs! Reblogs are always appreciated <3

Word Count: 14,855

When Everything's Made to Be Broken Series (Archive of Our Own) | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist (Tumblr)

You're Talking Me Through

Song: Platform Fire - Jack’s Mannequin Tore up like your baby blue jeans I was stepping through a fog Under pressure but I’m feeling weightless Can’t let heaven’s pinstripe shootings Leave you carrying a cross across a desert when you’re feeling faithless After all, this haze is only temporary Laughter falls on deaf ears in the auditorium

The first thing Loki noticed, upon waking, was a strange sense of fogginess that enveloped his entire consciousness, dulling his senses to the extent that the ache of his head and the soreness in his side felt as if they belonged to another body — one that was not his own, yet connected through some sort of mystical phenomenon. 

Sluggishly, he pried his eyes open, only to immediately squeeze them shut at a sudden, sharp stab of pain, as if the light slammed directly into his skull. He waited a moment for the discomfort to subside, instead relying on his other senses to give him any indication of where he might be.

Read the rest on AO3 ->

[fiepige]

Miguel and Hobie making their entrances (I love that they both get a slow-motion reaction shot from another spider-person as they enter)

[spotaus]

Late Night quick thing (New Age Sillies)

Bad news: That joke post about including Reset + Orchid is definitely not canon. (I legit got sad thinking about Reset being in a universe where Orchid isn't- because their stories are so so intertwined- but Nightmare 100% would NOT risk the whole twins exploding Error's soul thing.)

Good news: This means I COULD include Kane (Reset's older brother who usually dies in timelines where Reset is born) and use it to develope his character a bit more! Also! Perhaps a Blue × Dream kiddo is finally in the stars for me to design?

[acourtofquestions]

Dont be angry, Finnula said. Be smart.

[acaciapines]

rereading my old transcendence au fics and what the fuck these are so charming. i wish past me finished quintuplets reading my old notes for it like wow i had IDEAS. i never even posted the chapter where they summon alcor!!

[dangoulains-devotion]

yuffie has many interesting elements to her but people refuse to move past "i find energetic kids annoying" and it makes me sad

[seorikkun]

hanji x desserts for @quokki ♡ (in order: passion fruit mousse / mil folhas de creme limão / chocolate mousse / torta holandesa / cheesecake / pavês de morango)

[princeconsortroad]

via theagcd on Instagram

[eyepatchdate]

umineko has my favorite ‘walking dead man’ type of character who finds his own identity invasive and terrifying and yet i cant TELL ANYONE that.  i cant TALK about it

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

You dont have to answer ofc but: what are kuron's feelings towards the Black Lion? Cause it(she? they?? i never know how to refer to em) saved him, then ignored him, then let him pilot, and after that kinda. allowed Allura to take Shiro's soul and put him in kuron's body sooo..... i feel like its complicated

That is an excellent question. And you are right it would feel incredibly complicated but also i think Kuron would feel just really used by Black. Like to him Black had to have known that he was a clone, it had to have known that Haggar was in his mind and can control him, it had to have known that Shiro was "dead", it had to have known and yet it did nothing. For all he knows Black didnt even see him as a person but a replacement which is why he "saved" him and let him pilot when Keith flunked on them. So yeah Kuron does NOT trust Black's intentions, he does not trust Black, he lowkey hates Black for letting this happen, and if it were here he would have yelled at it for hours. Unfortunately Black and the other lions are not here and galavanting across the multiverse so this also goes to the backburner.

I am not saying that that is how Black saw him like a replacement. I am saying that Kuron believes Black saw him as a replacement