#posts abot my life

[selamat-linting]

im not sure anyone would know what im talking about, and there's a good chance posts like this would end up doxxing myself but this is the only place i have online friends so. does anyone else ever use a message board on tv?

i mean a literal message board. a forum. a group chat. but instead of being in some server of an app, its in television.

you see, my hometown used to have a local cable tv provider. it was not an entirely legal business, because instead of buying the license to air international shows, they simply pirate or reroute them from other, legitimate cable tv's. a few years later, they began to expand their market. they made their own broadcast station, and starts making content. its just local news and boring talkshows. and occasionally old horror movies, that are also pirated. but during prime time, they have this music program.

the music program was special. there was no host. the music video is tucked in a small corner on the left, and sometimes the video is replaced by a CCTV footage of the city. under the video box, there are ads and announcements about the tv station and the company as a whole. the bottom banner is news. the right side was the message board.

so here's how it works. you send a text, an sms, or a blackberry message. you'll request music, or just say hi, and your message will appear a few minutes later on tv. so, its like a group chat, but there's a feature to request music and everyone can join in and look into the conversation. the program ran for a couple years, i remember it already existing in 2009. i see quite a lot of people talking and getting to know each other. it was a community. until ofc, things die out eventually when they get more ads and replace the program with actual music videos or movies ripped off from youtube.

it made me so nostalgic. i was too young to have my own phone so i mostly lurk. but i read a lot of those conversations and feel like i also have friends on a screen. i learn how to leetspeak from there. i uSed t0 typ3 simil4r 2 th1s 4 bri3f mom3nt before i get 'not like other girls' complex and type with perfect grammar and punctuation.

now, theoretically, i could find a way to track the people who used to frequent those boards and be friends but look. a few years ago the boss of that channel station was found guilty of piracy. he got six months parole with no prison time despite doing that illegal streaming business for years, becuase indos are cool people who doesnt care about ip law that much. and his company have been expanding on other ventures like wifi or security systems, all the while slowly abandoning his broadcast station. so the program doesnt exist anymore and they might even destroyed the tapes containing that music program, if its even recorded.

also, im not even sure if it exists anywhere else. like, its so hard for me to describe what kind of show it was! i dont even have a photo of that show, it was 2009 and my dad still uses a payphone!!!!! do you think i would have a convenient camera on hand? *sigh* goodbye strange music program. i never knew what i had until its gone :(

[paimt]

just realized i never posted this out loud

[nymphaerie]

two beers in and actually for real irl sobbing about kim and the kineema its just like. kim cares so much about this damn car. but truly he cares so much about all the possessions he keeps, about machines in general, these finely tuned objects that can do so so much for humanity but rarely get recognized for it. do you think he empathizes with them? engines made to live and breathe revachol? he’d never admit it out loud how much he loves them, and especially not how much he hopes they love him back, but they do!!! he cares so deeply, takes such careful, meticulous care of the things he loves. maybe he loves them because they can’t tell him that they love him back. but then harry comes along, this strange, impossible man who talks to walls and ties and tells kim his kineema loves him. isn’t it the exact thing kim won’t let himself believe, because it’s too indulgent, too far fetched? that something he loves could love him? that the objects he cares for, that he puts so much effort into maintaining, could thank him for it?

[todayisafridaynight]

CANNOT BELIEVE IT'S TAKEN ME SO LONG TO REPLY YOU'VE ALREADY FINISHED THE SECOND MOVIE LOL BUT

I LOVE showing The Mole Song to people because it's like, love it or hate it, you can't possibly have a lukewarm reaction to it. I'm thrilled you liked it so much!!! Hong Kong Capriccio definitely has its moments and I'm glad you enjoyed it too; on that note, I haven't seen Final yet, and it doesn't seem to be hardsubbed online, but I was able to find a raw and subs separately. They seem okay from the scene I skipped to twenty minutes in but not positive lol

It really does set the tone early! I love the cutaway gags too The manga has a lot of absurd non-sequiturs and it was a fun way to adapt that to a new medium. As an adaptation as a whole, Undercover Agent Reiji in particular definitely has the tone down and I appreciate that it kept a lot of the Moments I liked.

Hiura had me from the blood oath… one of the guys of all time… despite how I sound from what I just said, I actually didn't even know there was a manga or a sequel when I first watched it, so I was SO relieved he survived the explosion. I was honestly 100% convinced he'd crash the plane at the end though lol, but I guess that ended up happening in Hong Kong Capriccio anyway?

BUT YEAH LIKE THE GUY JUST HAS A HYPERFIXATION AND I HAVE TO RESPECT THAT. Which, you know, in-universe, to have the whole butterfly motif and then dress your man up in florals… I repeat, Reiji was slaying in that dress… I love everyone's costuming in these movies. SPEAKING OF THE AUCTION, the PSP segment onward was insanely RGGcore wasn't it… good god……

It's kind of funny how little Reiji changes--I guess that's how you keep a manga going for like 900 or whatever chapters so far--because he'll pretty much Always have things he needs to figure out. Still very much fun to watch, though!

ALSO the drugs reminded me (I was expecting them to be In The Dogs too lol), shoutout to manga Tsukihara for having the exact same character arc as Mine and ending up an invaluable ally. Also getting to beat up Ryuji Leo (sorry my boy but Mine is overall the stronger combatant to me and I am tired of the Reddit-y discussions on the wiki saying otherwise </3). Living vicariously while Mine's status is still uncertain lol

P.S. I Too Treat Your Blog Like The Morning Paper and it means a lot to me to have the opportunity to write in and talk! I would also love to join a stream if you ever go for it!

P.P.S. NOOOOOOO PLEASE THE SLOW DANCING…….. UNWELL. I've imagined the same thing but at home… in the light of the refrigator… Jo is still tense as hell both because of the situation and it's such a waste of electricity and they really should close the door as soon as possible… but Arakawa insists if it's only for the duration of the song, it's fine……

YEAH THE MOLE SONG MOVIES WERE REALLY FUN thanks again for recommending it to me (I found out it had a manga series the moment I went to look it up, but I haven't read a lick of it. I'd say I'm surprised it's still running but I mean... manga like One Piece have over a thousand chapters at this point, so I shouldn't be too surprised. Maybe I'll give it a read sometime just to check out how the movies and manga compare-and-contrast with each other)!

1.) BIGGEST HONOR I'm glad my blog can entertain a lot of people (and a big part of that is due in part to people writing in and giving me a chance to chat a bit, so of course I always have to thank you and everyone else for sending me asks as frequently as you all do. They're absolutely the highlight of my day whenever I get the time to answer them ^^)!! I've always liked the idea of streaming (I've attempted to years back but I never tried again afterwards), though I always end up getting too anxious about it (plus I tend to get performance anxiety and I end up taking a lot longer to draw whenever people are watching me). I hope to get over that anxiety one day though- I bet it'd be fun to respond to people in real time or take quick doodle requests mid-stream :)

2.) AW THEM DANCING IN THE KITCHEN THOUGH I CAN SEE IT..... Jo being worried about the electric bill though that's so accurate..... I'll definitely think on the concept of Slow Dancing AraSawa with all the apparent enthusiasm around it.. I promise..

YAYA my friend (who made the post) told me a moment after I told her (also PLEASE I was so heinous reading the name- first thing I said to her aside from 'new movie night plan' was 'how many times does this man play a dude named 'Jo' ☠️☠️)! I wasn't able to find any recordings of the actual play (I know a trailer was posted last year so I don't know if they've actually performed live since then) but here's to hoping one day there's a recording of it posted somewhere...

[kiitchensiink]

Hey!

howre you doing

are you into the BDSM lifestyle..?

dear hotgaydaddyblog,

I sincerely highly respect u and ur blog from what I have seen is epic, I am into the BDSM lifestyle and am in a committed arrangement w/ my partner

however, I don't know if u will find the type of content u are looking for here but I hope you enjoy my various ramblings about the guys from twenty one pilots fucking each other

sincerely, Steele Kiitchensiink

[applauseforsally]

This ain't important but....

[harmonysanreads]

i’m just thinking abot ur recent post about when you cry during a movie… i’m having dr. ratio brainrot rn pls help

no but so real. he’d just delve into the illogicality of the film while ur sobbing your eyes out. he just doesn’t understand why you’re so affected? 1. it’s not real 2. you can see this coming from a mile away (and it can be either: the thing is pretty obvious, or the thing isn’t that obvious and ratio is too smart for his own good).

when he sees you cry he does scoff at the fact that you’re crying at something so trivial, but tones down his comments and maybe… if he feels nice enough, subtly wraps an arm around you in attempt to console you.

this is more general film/movie hcs but;

actually at any point while you’re watching a film he starts rattling on about how the film’s production is bad, how that sound effect wasn’t actually realistic (they could’ve done better sound design), how the actors aren’t actually speaking in the film, they actually record their lines later on.

(he mentioned that once and now you can’t stop thinking about it while watching literally anything, be it a live show or not. when you’re having a mini-crisis over if someone on a live gameshow is actually speaking or saying their lines later, he rolls his eyes and reminds you of the fact that it’s live. you miss the fond smile on his face while he does. it’s nice to know that you pay attention to his comments during the film-)

he just ruins movies for you and at some point you never mention the fact that you’re gonna watch a film or invite him to the movies anymore. he gets a bit pouty over it — maybe you mention a film you recently watched and he stares at you, mildly offended that he wasn’t invited. you explain that he keeps ruining the film for you, why can’t you let imagination be imagination?

okay… so he tries his best to tone it down. only for you. he still points out the obvious, but tries to bite back his comments when the lead does a stunt that comes off a bit too… unnatural? (it’s just nice to see your amazed face… that’s all.) or a poor done joke that really should’ve been performed better (he likes the way you giggle at it, even if it isn’t a very good one).

i’m actualy suffering dr ratio brainrot so bad rn he is taking over my life he lives in my head rent free please help

[ Post in question ]

Anon, please save me because I too am having massive Ratio brainrot after reading your ask(s).

I think infodumping is one of Ratio's love-languages in general. It's difficult to grasp unless you've known him for a while but he wouldn't just go parading around information about a specific topic to just anyone. Moreover, he always puts emphasis on self-learning. So unless he detects enthusiasm and effort for learning or if he really likes someone, I can't see him speaking this much — about movies nonetheless.

But if we consider it being his unique way of showing affection, I presume it'll annoy him greatly if the reaction he gets is counterproductive and refrain from it altogether in the worst-case scenario. Complaining about bad filmmaking is Ratio's way of connecting with you throughout the ordeal, you can watch a movie with anyone but, how many will passionately criticize (and flaunt their knowledge) every scene in front of you? It requires a level of trust and sharing certain thoughts with someone else necessities you have good rapport, at least for characters like Ratio.

So when you mentioned him trying to tone down on the criticisms ultimately instead of shutting it off entirely, that just showed how much he actually cares about you, which I think is very sweet.

[0alanasworld0]

Celebrity Crush (Pablo Gavi x reader) *request

Request: Hii can u do gavi having a crush on actress reader and he reveals it after being asked abot his celeb crush in an interview :) ♡

A/N - I know that this request has been completed before but I've always wanted to write one of these and I think that my take is sufficiently different from the other writer's -> I feel justified in posting it. I hope that makes sense lol

Warnings: none

“The love of your life is gonna be there, eh!” Pedri pokes at his best friend’s shoulder, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Pablo scoffs, one tiktok post on his screen is all it took for his little crush to become the team’s hot gossip. And it’s been a month!

“Are we really still on this?” gavi groans, throwing a hand over his face in an attempt to cover the blush of embarrassment as his teammates cackle around him. The joys of being the youngest (!)

“Hey, it's completely natural to have feelings lik-” 

“No no no no no I can’t deal with this today!” He grabs his bag and stomps out of the locker room, shaking his head with a huff. He would never dare admit this to his friends but my god if you weren’t the most stunning woman he had ever come across. Everything about you just oozed grace and elegance. Your voice was smooth and honeyed, striking eyes and a dazzling smile. You had an aura that just drew people towards you yet a shyness: there’s a little glimpse into how nervous the attention made you but you were still an infectiously positive influence on those around you. It certainly wouldn’t be surprising knowledge to anyone that Pablo had a little crush on you, many did. BUT the idea of you ever getting an idea of those feelings from the internet just made him cringe. He didn’t want to join a roster with those creeps. He didn’t even know you!

It was all an especially sensitive topic to him since you had mentioned being a football fanatic in a recent interview and you did express admiration for a certain La Liga goalkeeper that had him slightly disgruntled. However, when you also mentioned a certain Catalonian team as a favourite, he was shocked to say the least. You spoke very highly of them and it was becoming more and more apparent that you likely knew of him. Were you a fan? Did you just think of him as some stupid kid like everyone else? Have you ever been to one of his games and if so how did he not see you??

“So, you’re pretty new and upcoming so there's an air of mystery around you. I mean, we really don’t have anything on you! For a break-out star, it's a bit weird, don’t you think?” the host says, elbow propped up on the table with her head resting on their hand. 

“Yeah, I get that but suppose I’ve been a bit of a recluse my whole life uh… I don’t know! I’m not always on social media and I haven’t really done many interviews so I guess there never really is much of an opportunity? Even with the press stuff I have done, it’s all been very much focused on the show itself so y’know…” you trail off with a bit of uncertainty, wringing your hands under the table.

“Well, I’m gonna try and change that! We’re gonna treat this kinda like a first date, just a basic get-to-know-you type scenario, you cool with that?” she asks tentatively

“Yeah that sounds pretty good!”

“Okay let's start easy uh… favourite colour?”

“I feel like the range between blue and green is pretty solid, what do you like doing outside of work?”

“I’m kind of a soccer fanatic, actually! I used to be a die-hard football fan but something about soccer just makes it feel so much more energetic y’know?” You nod in agreement, smiling at the shared interest, perking up a bit.

“I have to agree with you on that one. I used to play all the time when I was a little kid and I burned out on it as a teenager but seeing it regain that energy over recent years is something so special!”

“Exactly! I really think we’re meshing here!” you both laugh as you jokingly hold hands over the table.

“Okay okay back to the subject matter, what's your favourite league?”

“The EPL.” you say, mouth twitching as the laugh threatens to break out. The interviewer narrows her eyes and takes her hands back, cocking her head to the side. The silence only makes it harder until both of you burst out into laughter, tearing up a little bit.

“Okay no be real…” the interviewer struggles to get the words out through the giggles. You finally manage to settle down and get the words out.

“Honestly I think that La Liga has really been seeing a revival. I still love the Bundesliga and Serie A but it's been super interesting to see the quality of La Liga go up so dramatically.” The interview nods and hums in interest. She raises her eyebrow with her next question.

“Any favourite players?”

“I can’t say any names for fear of it actually reaching them but the goalkeeping last season was stellar and I think that the Zamora trophy was very well earned.” ducking your head down as a small blush appears on your face. The interviewer smirks but continues.

“Okay fine but you have to have a favourite team?”

“Within La Liga, Barcelona has been super inspiring! It was a pretty tough time losing such consistent and reliable talent especially under those circumstances where they didn’t want to leave but I would have never expected a revival like this!”

“Tell me about it, and to come from such young players too?!”

“Exactly, it’s wonderful to see them be so resourceful given their… situation and it’s clearly working so I’d say that those promotions were very wise decisions on their part!”

…..

The teasing had always been there since the team found out about it but it took an upturn after that interview. Fans were picking up on the idea given the fact that the pair of you were the same age. The edits rolled in much more quickly than what he expected: the sensual  music, the mashups of his and your best moments, the illusion of the pair of you looking at each other. He doesn’t understand how they did it and he’s angry at the fact that he isn’t more offended by people imagining you as a couple. He wasn’t overjoyed by the ones of you and Pedri or a certain Moroccan goalkeeper that you referred to in the interview but nevermind. He couldn’t help but be a little curious about whether you two would be compatible. I mean it wasn’t too outlandish of an idea was it? You’re both young, struggling with fame, passionate, who knows maybe-

“Pablo, I’m begging you: get your head out of the clouds and pull it together!” his agent yells, throwing an empty water bottle in his direction.

“When are you free for a fitting?”

“... Huh?” he breathes out deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes in annoyance. The poor man just needs this one date sorted for the gala, he just wants to go home and yet here they are. All he needs is about a minute of focus.

“Okay if I have to say this one more time, I’m throwing the whole water drum at you.” the boy gulped, eyes widening at the threat, nodding vigorously as he straightened his back. Julian was a lovely guy with the patience of a saint and Pablo was grateful to have him as a publicist but he had his limits.

“Y’know that premiere Robert was going to?”

“Vaguely” Julian raises his eyebrows at that. This show has been on everyone’s lips for a good few months and to add to that, a particular name was frequently attached that would have been very familiar. Nonetheless, he chooses not to press. He just wants to get this all over and done with.

“Right well, some idiot insisted that he needed to do some promotional stuff instead so you’re going… well if you can actually cooperate and help me sort out a fitting date, that is.” he says, eyes narrowed at Gavi. Sighing out when he realises that the message has finally been received.

“Wait wait wait, why can’t pedri go?!” Julian decides that he will, in fact, push.

“Okay, I just told you that you’re going to be able to attend a premiere for the film that the love of your life is leading and you’re asking me why someone else can’t go?” Gavi looks down and plays with his fingers. Julian shakes his head, let's get this over with.

“No, magically no one else is available. Let’s get this fitting done at 10:00pm tomorrow, yeah?” any chances of being flexible are long gone, his patience running very thin. Julian hurries out of the room, holding his hand out to prevent Pablo from saying anything that would prolong the conversation.

“You do realise that this girl literally has no reason to dislike you, right?” Pedri says, looking up from his phone to see Gavi messing around with his tie and rolling his eyes. 

“Apart from the fact that I’m largely advertised as a player with a giant ego and no anger management skills?” Gavi huffs. Sure, your comments on the team were largely positive but you had to have seen some of the famous outbursts.

“Hermano, I can assure you that the way that you play completely overshadows the angry  chihuahua behaviour. If she can’t see that, then she’s not worth your time.” he shrugs. Oh if only it were as simple as that. Pedri may have been right but the fact of the matter was that he wanted you to like him. You were ethereal and the idea of you not liking him made his chest tighten. 

“See! This is what I mean! I doubt she’d have any interest in an ‘angry chihuahua’” Gavi turns around to face his best friend, aggressively air quoting.

“C’mon man, I was only joking.” Pedri gets up to give him a reassuring hug. He can sense that his friend is still extremely nervous so he releases the hug before continuing.

“Look, she seems nice enough and she likes the team. The most you have to worry about is the great wall of Morocco sweeping her off her feet before you.” patting his cheek with a smile. Gavi looks away and huffs again but is unable to hold back the smile. Okay, that was funny. He’d never admit that, though. Thank goodness, he’s married.

“Oy, apparently that Gavi kid is gonna be there!” your ears perk up at your friend’s comment. ‘That Gavi kid’ was a phenomenal footballer and very quickly caught your attention the first time you saw him play live. The guys you’re constantly having to deal with are all the same type with very little motivation or ability to do the simplest of things. The fact that there was someone around your age having the talent, motivation and passion to play for (and help resurrect) one of the most iconic teams in the world as well as his national team was so incredibly attractive to you. His doe-eyes and fluffy, chocolate brown hair definitely helped him out in the looks area as well.

“He seems like a sweet guy, I happen to think we’d get along quite well actually!” your cheeks heat up as a shy smile makes its way onto your face.

“Oh there's no doubt about that! Being swept off your feet by Barca’s golden boy is very on-brand for you! And have you SEEN those edits, wow!” She fans herself jokingly as you throw a pillow at her head.

“Okay that's enough of that. Now I beg you just choose between one of these!” you’re holding up the two dresses you spent ages narrowing down to.

“Girl, you’re going to be the star of the show, those edits will be up and out regardless of whether your dress is cerulean blue or midnight blue.” you roll your eyes as you eye the 2 dresses once more.

“What has gotten into you? You usually have this stuff picked out weeks in advance!”

“I don’t know, just having some doubts is all.”

“Look, I promise that your lover boy is going to be blown away with either of these.”

The taxi ride feels like forever. He’s redone his tie more times than he could count. He’s been keeping a close eye on every rumoured attendee’s social media to try and up his morale but finally, they make it to the venue. It’s all glammed up with lights lining up the red carpet. It leads to the doors which are strictly guarded by 2 burly men in all black. The odd nightclub visit may have felt normal to the poor boy but not this. It's a little too much and just as he thought he had calmed down, the nerves make their unwelcome return and his hands are sweating again.

The second he opens the taxi door, the cameras start flashing and people start yelling his name. Gavi takes the time to thank his driver, passing over a generous tip before slowly exiting. Why do they have to be like this? Why do I have to be like this? He asks himself. The suit that he had made to his form by the finest tailors just days prior suddenly felt too tight. It was some of the most expensive material yet it now felt scratchy and coarse against his skin. It was all suffocating: the noise, the lights, the smell; everything. He rushes down the carpet with his head down, ignoring the requests to smile for the camera. The words were barely intelligible anyway.

The temporarily converted mall is still extremely busy and loud but the lack of paparazzi and yelling was a change he felt very grateful for. The noise is more energetic chatter and less ear-shattering screeches as the walk-in was. He sighs in relief when he sees a familiar face. 

“Ah, Gavira! You made i- what’s wrong?” his teasing smile turns into a look of concern.

“What?! Nothing! Why would you ask that?” he’s rambling, still rattled from the entrance.

“Oh hermano you look like you’re about to cry!” Julian gives him a hug which Pablo gladly accepts. It’s just a lot. He has nothing to ground him or divert his attention like the pitch does. There is probably a reason why Robert is usually the one to go to events like this.

“Look, I know that the entrance was a bit much but I promise you, that was the hard part. Now it's just gonna be a couple interviews, some less chaotic photos, try to talk to some of the actors here… you’ll have fun, okay?” Gavi nods with a semi-enthusiastic smile on his face, it probably looked more like a grimace but nevertheless.

It’s been a big improvement from the first impression and Gavi is enjoying himself. He didn’t have very many photos taken at all and it’s been a relief to see footballers other than himself dotted around. Talking to them, among some of the actors, has given him some reprieve. It isn’t so bad after all.

The first interview isn’t too much of a hassle for him either. He’s used to much less friendly people than this.

“So, it must be pretty crazy to receive such high praise from such a highly coveted actress, huh?”

“I mean, yeah! She didn’t refer to me directly but it’s awesome anyway. I’m glad our team is still inspiring so many people and that SOMEONE understands the approach Xavi is taking!” he manages to get a little chuckle out of the man which releases some tension. He continues.

“No seriously, she’s an insanely beautiful and talented person so it really is an honour to hear it from someone of her calibre.” gavi says with a wistful smile on his face, cheeks heating up at the mere thought of you being aware of his existence. The interviewer smirks but keeps things rolling, that footage was going to be golden.

“On a more personal note, thank you for what you’re doing for Barca and the national team. Absolutely phenomenal coming from someone so young and I can’t begin to describe how excited I am to see how things work out for you in the future.” Well that's very different from what he’s used to hearing from older fans. It warms his heart.

“Thanks man, that seriously means so much to hear!” They give each other a bear hug before he walks off, relaxed and confident. But the second he turns around, it all dissipates. There you are, in all your glory. You’re not even doing anything intentionally model-esque, simply looking down and readjusting your dress as you wait for the journalists and camera crew in front of you to have everything set up. It's a moment he feels guilty for intruding on but you smooth down your dress, smiling as you twirl around in it. He’s mesmerised within seconds of seeing you in person, the photos don’t do you justice. At all. 

He can’t hear what you’re saying and doesn’t dare get any closer but the second you start speaking you have everyone’s attention. He can tell whenever someone is complimenting you as your hands move to cover your cheeks as they heat up. He wonders how you feel about the small crowd gathering around you. Did you ever get as nervous as he did? Was this stressful for you too? He’s brought out of his thoughts as the crowd laughs quietly at a comment you made. Oh and she’s funny too? Of course she is!

Much to his disappointment, Julian is dragging him off to another interview before he could even muster up the courage to go and talk to you, with the crowd beginning to disperse. He stills looks back at you, heart pounding as you make eye contact. He sees you offering a little wave before he loses you among the people. Your smile was breath-taking but smiling directly at him was a whole different story. The rest of the interviews couldn’t last any longer, or at least he felt that way. He just wanted to see you again now, nothing else was on his mind. 

That idea was a lot harder in practice, he learned. You’re right there, swirling your sprite can at the drinks bar, looking up and around every now and then. He’s been dawdling for about ten minutes now, “figuring out what to say.” He looks up every once in a while, you’re playing with your dress again and you still look just as mesmerising. Julian has had enough of the situation, pushing Pablo towards you and walking off before the boy could try to hide behind him.

“Oh my gosh, hi! It’s Pablo, right?” good lord you’re somehow even more gorgeous up close and he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Have you seen that interview? They posted that one clip very quickly and he’s extremely anxious at the idea of you being spammed with the clip. It’s a shame he hadn’t been paying attention to the posts other than his interview clip. Or listened when he saw you being interviewed.

“That's me!” he says, laughing nervously. 

“I’ve honestly been wanting to meet you for so long!” you say with a bright smile on your face, bouncing up and down on your toes with excitement. You can’t resist giving him a hug and he thinks his heart is going to burst out of his chest any time soon. You smell absolutely divine and he’s trying to commit the whole moment to memory. You take his hand and pull him to an area behind all of the giant posters where things are a little quieter.

“I could say the same about you, I mean you’re just…wow!” He’s properly kicking himself. One chance to look cool in front of you and he’s fucked it up.

You’re so caught up in the excitement of talking with Pablo Gavi that you forget the fact that you elicit the very same feelings in him. 

“No, seriously you’re incredible! I usually find defensive tactics more interesting but you are absolutely explosive in midfield! I haven’t seen anyone play quite like that for ages!” you gush. Pablo couldn’t be more grateful that everyone forced him to come here. You liked him! You liked him!

“It's honestly just what I love doing, I suppose the passion builds into the output…” he trails off as you nod enthusiastically, giving him a reassuring smile and eagerly waiting for him to continue. You don’t like eye contact very much but his hazel eyes are truly gorgeous and you can’t bring yourself to look away.

“Hey, enough about me, this is a big day for you! You’re finally getting the recognition you deserve!” he says, gaining a bit of his confidence back and nudging you lightly. You can feel your cheeks heat up. 

“Eh, the me-fest was fun online but holy shit am I tired of it after this!” you laugh together and simultaneously realise that you’re still holding onto each other's hands. It just feels too right to let go.

“Do you hate the noise as much as I do?” you whisper in his ear. He feels a chill run down his spine from your warm breath and goosebumps form immediately. He nods softly, confused and suspicious of the mischievous look in your eyes.

“What’s on your mind, bonita?” he narrows his eyes, squeezing your hands lightly, waiting for you to elaborate.

“There’s a park literally 2 minutes away from here! if we manage to make an escape, we can get away from all the noise, look up at the stars…” you trail off, waiting for his response. He seems to have a permanent smile etched on his face with you but it widens with your idea. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and you begin to weave in and out of the crowd which has begun to disperse a little already. 

The pair of you make it out unscathed, giggling to each other as you look back to make sure you haven’t been caught. He keeps his arm where it is, again it just feels too right. You reach one of the park benches and decide to take your seats. The dim glow of the street lamp above you illuminates your features and he can’t help but stare. Your eyes are focused on the stars, you’re holding out your hand to map out the stars you were familiar with. Your other hand is gripping the bench and he inches his own closer and closer but he has an idea of his own. He doesn’t know how but he’s thankful that his confidence resurfaces once more as he stands up, holding a hand out to you. Your focus returns to him and you cock your head to the side in confusion.

“Dance with me” the idea makes you all giddy inside but you can’t help but tease

“Without music?” He sighs in faux-annoyance as he opens his phone to play a soft tune, propping it up on the blazer he opts to take off. He’s a sight for sore eyes in the crisp, white button-up. He offers his hand to you again but you oblige this time. You squeal slightly as he unexpectedly pulls you towards his body, instinctively placing a hand on his chest while his free hand finds a place on the small of your back. His hazel eyes are so much prettier up close. He simply can’t believe that this is happening. You both fall into a rhythm together as you move to the soft melody. 

“I’m a genius.”

“Of many things” he says with a wistful sigh, smiling softly. 

The butterflies in your tummy grow more and more restless as your faces grow closer together. You can feel his warm breath on your face and you can see the little scars that adorn his face. The hand that rested on his chest slides up towards his face to cup his cheek and his eyes flutter to a close for a second as he relishes the warmth. You’re both breathing heavier, almost panting, even though nothing has happened yet. Your eyes are frantically flickering over each other's features, desperately trying to commit even the most minute detail to memory. Your gaze lingers on his pretty pink lips for a second too long and like that: you’re the first to give in. you pull him towards you, finally capturing his lips in a soft kiss. He tenses for a moment, mind completely blanking as he attempts to process what is happening. Just as quickly, he relaxes and pulls you even closer to him, if that were even possible. The taste of your watermelon flavoured lip gloss was borderline addictive and the softness of his lips had you feeling dizzy. You part slowly and reluctantly for breath, your hands stay in each other's hair as you stare into each other’s eyes.

“Promise you’ll call?” you say as the taxi pulls up at your place. You really have no idea just how infatuated he was with you.

“I swear on my life, bonita. I’ll call the second I get home!” he smiles, pulling you in for the final kiss of the night before you open the car door and leave. Before entering your place, you turn around to give him a wave, smiling widely as he waves back. You kick off your heels and flop onto the couch, a wide smile plastered on your face as you recall the events of the night: he, Pablo Gavi, really liked you.

Pablo tries to close the door quietly behind him, finally returning home after going rogue at the premier with you. The lamp in the corner of the living room flickers on, spooking him as he sees Pedri sitting there, wide awake and waiting. 

“Look, I know I should have called about where I was but I swear I know how to handle myself I just-”

“Yeah yeah whatever, I couldn’t care less about that Gavira. You owe me something.” Pablo is stumped, his tired mind can’t wrap around what his friend is trying to get at.

“An apology? I was trying before I got rudely interru-” Pedri turns the laptop around so the screen is facing his best friend. 

Oh god no, this was all much quicker than anticipated. No words can be heard and the camera quality is rather shaky but the faces are obviously you and him. The camera has captured the moment where you drag him to behind the posters to talk privately, your hands resting in his, and they capture the pair of you walking off back into the crowd together in the middle of the escape. 

Pedri gets up, places the laptop on the table and goes to ruffle Pablo’s hair and then shakes him by the shoulders.

“I told you she was into you! I told you! You’re such an idiot I swear!” Gavi rolls his eyes, mouth twitching as he tries to hold off a smile. He doesn’t want to reveal all the details yet but it was a magical night, to say the least.

“C’mon you have to tell me something!” Gavi looks down as a blush dusts his cheeks.

“She said she wants to see me again,” he says, stretching the back of his neck. Pedri wraps him in a tight hug.

“I’m always right, see?” 

“Whatever!” Gavi retorts with a smile, jogging up to his room. He’s itching to call you. Pedri lets him go in peace, oh he’s going to be relentlessly teasing the poor man in the morning.

Once Pablo reaches his room, he quickly unbuttons the shirt, throwing it to the side before falling onto the bed, sighing in relief as the cool and crisp sheets felt like heaven against his burning hot skin. The effect you had on him clearly hasn’t worn off just yet. He opens his phone and immediately goes to call you. A smile immediately makes its way onto his face as he hears your voice.

“Did you make it home safely?”

“As per instruction, bonita.” he thinks he can hear your smile over the line. Oh this was the start of something beautiful.

I’m sorry this has taken so long, lovelies. I have a lot on my plate and have been feeling a little demotivated but I've been feeling a lot better recently so hopefully I can start posting more often again! I hope you enjoy this one xxx

[phantomrose96]

Chrissy help how do you keep motivation for such huge writing projects?? I've seen you posting about abot for a long time but I just clicked it and it's got like 360k words. My guy you are incredible and if you've got secrets to share I'd be very interested. Major props to you

(ABoT)

I'm hoping to resurrect Dickinsonian-era "paid by the word" writing gigs and retire off ABoT Kidding! kidding! I make 0 dollars and 0 cents off ABoT do not sue me IP holders.

More genuinely it's a couple things I guess. One big and simple one being just--I really like the story. It's long because there are a lot of parts I like and wanted to tell. Another is spite, because for a long period of time between 2017-2020 I thought I would never be able to come back to the story so it's something of a "fuck you look what I made anyway."

But I really REALLY think the biggest part to this all was the (tough, but doable) process of learning to be okay with this story taking however long it's gonna take, and being however long it's gonna be.

Back in the days when Tumblr was really a hub for fandom, fandom attention was extremely fleeting, and when you had any of it, it felt like it was always moments away from vanishing. Tourmaline, my 80k Steven Universe fic, I wrote in the span of just over 2 months. I had a chapter out roughly every 2-3 days for that entire sprint. I'm proud of pulling that off. But my main motivation for doing that was absolutely the fear of losing people's attention and interest if I dawdled even a little.

Early-days ABoT was like that too. The first 9 or 10 chapters were all posted in intervals of about 2-3 days apart. I was staying up extremely late to do this which wasn't good for me and I was doing it because I was afraid of losing people's interest and I was getting more intimidated the more I realized how long ABoT would likely be. And then for school and life reasons, my update schedule absolutely had to slow. And I was having a bad time because it was like I could feel myself losing readers and losing relevance, and the backlash was growing, and even when I was finding the time to write I'd started burning out hard on my passion for the story. I'd get frustrated with my own plot and characters, and you can't write a good passion project while frustrated with the characters.

And then I kinda quietly admitted defeat because the stress and the backlash were too much to handle and I couldn't wring anymore of this from myself. After a 1 year, 2 years, I was pretty much sure my readership was long gone. I still thought about the story constantly! I still cared. I just figured I'd missed my window and would never be able to come back except to backlash.

Then just shy of 3 years, I said "fuck it, actually" and wrote the next chapter (okay it was a lot more complicated than "fuck it" but that would take too long to explain.) And in FACT, a ton of the readership came back! It was an extremely warm reception! And new readers, too. Just a lot of really warm, positive feedback. Which absolutely blew my mind because it was completely at odds with my feeling that things needed constant updates to cling to relevance. And the idea of "well if they waited 3 years..." has helped me a lot with allowing time and breaks between chapters. I don't burn out on them. I edit them more. My update schedule's been more like 2-6 weeks between chapters, rather than days.

Allowing that down time, letting ABoT be a steady jog instead of an all-out sprint, has been absolutely crucial to getting as far through it as I am. Even right now, it's been pretty long since chapter 45. I dove super deep into putting ch45 together and I kinda needed some time off after to decompress and step away to not risk burn out. Which was very needed and helpful and now I'm back to chugging through ch46.

There was an old comment, I think on Reddit, that I read years ago which has stuck with me ever since. Someone was recounting a conversation with a single mother who was considering going back to college to get her degree, but was hesitant to do so because she would be 40 by the time she graduated. To which the other person responded "You'll be 40 anyway."

And "you'll be 40 anyway" plays in my head a lot. Like, ABoT's been going for almost 6 years. Well 6 years were going to pass anyway. ABoT might not be done for x-many more months. X-many more months are gonna pass anyway. Time's gonna happen anyway. So I'm not worried about whether this thing is still going by then or not. I'm just keeping at it until it's done.

[tower-girl-anon]

Tarot Birth Cards

Today, the post will be different. Instead of talking about astrology, I will focus on tarot cards. Especifically, in the mayor arcanas that influence us from our birthday and throughout our lives. Each one of us has, usually, two mayor arcanas and those cards have an especific meaning so, taking into account what I've learned and my intuition, I will try to describe as best as possible the themes that will sorround you according to your birth cards.

As always, take this with a grain of salt since this is made just for fun, I hope it resonates with you and please don't copy or share this post without giving credits.

How to calculate your birth cards:

Write down the numbers of your birth day

Example: 27/10/2022

2. Add all the numbers together until there's only a single digit. In other words, calculate your life path number.

Example: 2+7+1+0+2+0+2+2 = 16 = 1+6 =7

3. Based on the result of your number, it will give you 2 mayor arcanas that will influence you throughout your life. Down here is the list according to the number:

1-The Magician, The Wheel and The Sun.

2-The High Priestess, Justice and Judgment.

3-The Empress, The Hanged Man and The World.

4-The Emperor and Death.

5-The Hierophant and Temperance.

6-The Lovers and The Devil.

7-The Chariot and The Tower.

8-Strengh and The Star.

9-The Hermit and The Moon.

Note: for those who have master numbers (11, 22, 33) as life paths, just add those numbers until you have a single digit.

The Magician, The Wheel and The Sun.

You were born with the powerful gift of manifestation (this ability comes naturally to you), of building something meaningful or big from scratch, a bright and contagious personalty along with the ability to live through the constant cycles of life with relative ease. Just like the number 1 in numerology, you are natural leaders that wants to take the reins of your own destiny. With thar charismatic energy, it's not a surprise that people admire you or feel brighter when you are around. With The Wheel as one of your cards, I have no doubt that you have an important life path along with lessons ahead of you in order for you to ascend. That path can not be always easy, after all...the wheels of life always changes. We move through good cycles and bad cycles. This can be one of the challenges because, if we experience bad luck, we tend to think that what we are doing is bad or you are not good enough. That's not true. But, and this is important to remember, not everything that we manifest are good for us, for our soul evolution. So that's a hard lesson that possibly come too with these cards. Be careful what you manifest. You won't now until it's too late if what you manifested is good for you or if it's going to affect negatively to other people. Sometimes, the NO of the universe is a way of protecting us or to tell us that something needs to change (like to take a different aproach). That's another hard lesson to digest, but trust that everything has it's process and that the universe and guides knows better mostly of the time.

2. The High Priestess, Justice and Judgment.

You were born with a highly intuitive nature and a strong sence of justice that possibly comes from lifetimes of experiences. That sence of justice lies in recognizing what attitude is good or bad or what is fair or not. You observe the world or a situation, you learn from the situation as a whole, you connect with your higher self and then you are able to make a judgement that is both fair and hard (if that makes sence) since, in many cases, the truth hurts. You tend to be right in almost all the cases that you see. The obstacles I see with these cards is that maybe you will be questioned a lot in regards of your sence of justice and intuition. These questions can come either from other people or through especific situations, but it will create a personal battle whithin you in regards of these topics too. For example: Was I right to tell him/her abot this even though it hurted him/her? Was my intuition right about this? Did I make right by telling what I felt was correct? Maybe you could question yourself alot about the world too. We all know these laws are injust, why do they make such a horrible decision? These questions are complex by nature, because it makes us question some abstract concepts that doesn't have a unique answer. For example: the good and bad. We all know war, in general, is bad. It kills people and afect thousand of beings that doesnt have anything to do with that conflict. And that is unfair. But many (maybe not so much in these years) see war as an opportunity to defend themself and their interest. Is that ok? I don't have the answer for that. We all see justice and the truth through different lents. But, in conclusion, I hope you were able to understand the general idea of what I wanted to say.

3. The Empress, The Hanged Man and The World.

With these cards, you carry a very femenine and nurturing energy for sure. You are able to connect easily with the rest of the world because there's an empathic energy whithin you that helps you to understand how others feel or see the rest of the world. You're emphatic with every being that exists (being that animals, plants and humans) and so creative too since the divine femenine energy is the one that creates through her imaginative, intuitive and nurturing side. The difficulties I see with these cards relates to how other people will see yourself. You could be easily admired by others with your caring heart, but others will not or they won't understand your personality or the things you do. Others will try to take advantage of this caring energy, willingly or unwillingly, and it will be a conflict for you to learn that you also need time on your own to recover and bring self-love, especially if you see someone who needs your energy. In these cases, you must remember this. Just like the earth (with The World card) you also need to move through cycles. The earth provides a few months of abundance to us so we all can eat and the animals/plants can reproduce, and the other months she recovers her energy so she can bring enough energy to the next cycle. She puts priorities with each cycle. She provides to half of the world while she rest in the other half and vice versa.

4. The Emperor and Death.

On the contrary to the last pile, you are gifted with a powerful masculine energy. An energy that provides you with movement, action and the courage to pursue whatever you feel you need to go after. That power allows you also to move forward through different obstacles and lessons in life, no matter how hard, painful or traumatic they are. In the eyes of others, you carry an almost royalty energy with you, that's why many respect you or even feel intimidated by you just like the representation of the Death card. But there will be obstacles and lessons surrounding power, transformation and your divine masculine energy. On one hand, you will encounter situations and people who will want to eliminate the driven, passionate and powerful energy from you. They will try to block you, through different schemes, from reaching your divine masculine power. For those of you who lost their passions and energy due to others, I will tell you that no one, no matter how badly they behaved with you, can take away your power. You are more capable and powerfull than what they think you are. I support you and tell you that you are perfectly capable of using these lessons as a transformation to reach the higher power that you posses inside of you. On the other hand, if you tend to missuse your powers, you will encounter situations that will try to humble you.

5. The Hierophant and Temperance.

With The Hierophant and Temperance as your birth cards, you were born with these gifts: responsability, leadership, good team-player traits, hard-working, studious, knowleadgeable, comunicative, good teacher or coacher and so on. You were a very good student in school and/or university. If not, at the veary least you were very responsable and hard working with an eager expression to learn more. In life, I can see you working with larger companies or any buisness in general that requieres a team. Something that's coming out now in my mind is that you want either to make something meaningful to others through your work or you want your work to be meaningful to you. To fulfill you emotionally or spiritually just like the picture of the angel exchanging the liquid of one cup to the other. Maybe you really enjoy sharing your knowledge with others. The difficulties and challenges that these cards brings are complex to me for some reson. Like I can't pin point what are those challenges. Perphaps one of those resides is that maybe, with your hard working energy, you need to balance the ammount of effort you put in your work so you won't overburn yourself even though you enjoy it (this is kind of complex since most of us can't come directly to our bosses and say "I'm sorry but the ammount of work you gave me is just too much". A similar thing can be said when you have a team work project and some of them give the minimum effort or less). Another thing is learning to follow your beliefs (The Hierophant is represented by a Pope) even though many will question it. If you want to have a traditional job, find it. If you want a traditional marriage and role in life (meaning that, if you're a man you want to be the provider while the woman takes charge of the children and vice versa), you can do that. As long as you don't force it into other people and communicate your needs healthily, who cares is somebody else thinks you are so conservative or outdated to the actual times?

6. The Lovers and The Devil.

This is a little similar to the number 3 pile. Those of you who have this cards, you are an incredible and loving person. You either, or tend to give unconditional love to everyone even though many of them treat you as shit or abuse of your kindness with possesiveness, blackmail or other things, or you act with love even in the most hardest situations. I have the feeling that you are someone who really values love and want to find someone who will bring it to you someday. Do you believe in soulmes, twin flames or karmics? The lessons for those who have both cards are this: to recognize what truly is unconditional love. I feel that many of you will face karmic connections surrounding this topic, because, since many of you belives that, despite how badly someone treates you, they can still change with care and love, you will have to realize that you can't change people. No matter how much you feel about them, they are certain actions that doesnt resonates with those that we call unconditional love. Treat you as an object is not unconditional love. Insulting you daily or getting mad at you daily it's not either. Hitting you it's definetly not. Even though I believe than akin souls can help others to change for the better (I've seen it), they must choose to heal and change for themselves first before aproaching you and having a relationship with you. You just can't be with someone who doesnt want to put the same effort as you. And it is ok to say no or put boundaries with someone who doesnt respect you (this doesn't have to be romantic per se, it can be friends or family too) because, if you allow them to do it, you wouln't be loving yourself first. And that is another huge lesson with these cards.

7. The Chariot and The Tower.

For those who have the number 7 as the results, you were gifted in this lifetime with the ability to move forward despite the conflicts or tower moments we experience. In our spiritual evolution through multiple incarnations, we build some fundations, belief, ways of living (tower) based on our experiences. But, just like any new human construction, before anything can be used, there must be some tests to check the bases, the infrastructure and all that staff. If our building has weak or innapropiate stones, the most dangerous result will be the colapsing of the tower. That´s why there are going to be obstacules and tests in our journey. Because we must check how stable or strong our tower is. If the stones we used are good enough or if we must replace some of them for better ones. And you all can do it. You know why? Because you also have the Chariot. A powerful figure riding a chariot and guiding to horses (white and black). Our human and spiritual side, our good and bad side, our logical and emotional side. We all can move forward with our Chariot to build a strong fundation, a strong legacy, just like it can be seen in the Rider Tarot, in which there is a city behind the man in the chariot.

8. Strength and The Star.

In this life, you were granted the gift of resistance, spiritual knowledge, inspiration, beliefs, and, obviously, strength. A woman is embracing a lion, considered one of the most powerful animals since many centuries ago. Even in the literary tradition, the most powerfull warriors were portreyed as someone who were able to tame, fight or kill a lion. Those who were not able to do that, were considerer cowards. This was the case of the Cantar de Mio Cid. Now, the lion can be interpretated as the sign of Leo in astrology (ruled by the sun), so it can clearly indicates that you are someone who holds strongly to their likes, beliefs, dreams, ambitions and so on. One of the main obstacles or troubles I see with this cards is that you will encounter many situatios in which your strengh will be tested. Maybe you will face setbacks, delays, rejections or any type of situation that will make you question your worth, the worth of your dreams or if your wasting your time pursuing something that seems impossible to achieve. That's not impossible and you are capable of doing it, just keep believing in it. If it's meant for you, it will reach you. Just don't forget to go with the flow like the figure in The Star card, which is throwing the water of his/her cup into the waters of a river while the stars shine above him/her. That is also a lesson that you are meant to learn. In order for your manifestation to arrive, you must loose a little bit the grip of control and let the universe take charge of it. Like I've said, what is meant for you will find the way towards you.

9. The Hermit and The Moon.

For those whose numbers ended in the number 9, these cards signals either a very old soul, or at least someone who is not afraid to be on solitude to meditate of different topics in life. Thia ability allows you to connect with the higher wisdom. With The Moon card, it also shows someone who is very much conected to his/her emotional or imaginative side. Memories, feelings and the past can be something that you really think about when you are alone. One of the conflicts that these cards gives to those who have it is, in my opinion, being to much on solitude or lost in their emotions/imagination. Being able to connect with the self is an essential part of our journey. It allows us to discover, through our memories and feelings, part of our esence as well as connect with the world, but, being so lost in a hermit state can produce us to loose contact with reality. Yes, sometimes the real world sucks and we prefer to imagine something better in our minds or just feels scary (especially to those who had bad experiences in the past), but being so much on your own will prevent you to create real experiences. To connect with real people who are worth meeting. Another problem could be that you carry wisdom whithin you, but you are afraid to share it with the world since you could believe that they are just fantasies or some result of your imagination and that's just not true. You have real wisdom. Never feel fear towards that topic because you know things and those are equally valid and worth listening to as well as the wisdom of any other person.

Wow...hahahaha. This post took me longer than I expected, but I hope it resonated with some of you.

I send you love and light to all of you.

Tower Girl Anon

Credits to the owner of the pictures: Ferol Humphrey and Dreamstime.

[yourshoulderdemon]

I think i just admitted to myself something i havent before, ans now i feel like crying.

I want to be actually loved. My mom never loved me, she told me that over several years of my life. Saying that im a failed abotion and that she wished i had never been born.

I want someone to truely love me, every psrt of me. The trans part of me, the system part of me, the bpd, adhd, Autism, all of it.

Someone who wont be ashamed of me, or someone who will post me on their story.

Someone who will hug me when im crying and not tell me to suck it up or they make me regret it.

Im so broke, i doubt anyone would actually love all of me, but thats all i want. Just someone to love me and care about me. All of me, not just the persona i put on irl.

[viro-lil-goat]

I already wrote this in reblogs but i want to saparate so here we go, shoutout to this post

AU Hyde friends with Emma Carew

In this au, or more like an addition i can add to one of my aus – in one of Hydes outings, while jumping on the roofs he noticed Emma crying on balcony to her room. Even though he would usually leave (and Jekyll dosent want to get in trouble hence Hyde is still a searched criminal) he decided to come closer, Emma noticed him and was confused on why tf theres a man on the roof above her balcony (i would shit my pants) But Hyde reassured her he isnt a threat, and was just coming by (on the roofs 🤨). And asked her whats wrong.

Surprisingly she wasnt afraid, she already had a breakdown so she couldn't really think straight.

She told him she is supposed to have an arranged marriage with Simon Stride, in her families will. But she doesn't love him nor she ever had romantic or sexual attraction to anyone ever (shes aroace but that term didnt exist back then ). Plus, hes a jerk towards her.

Hyde shows his opposition to it, he thinks all those traditions and aristocrat things are absolutely stupid (sorry for my lack of smart language 😂) . He tells her he knows one person who was also married against their will, and that ruined their relationship with their lover (as hyde says this jekylls jaw drops to the floor XD). So he understands how harmful it can be. He jokes to lift Emmas mood.

Emma already calmed down thanks him, and also tells abot how in general its annoying. Her fathers friends were making jokes about her marrying jekyll right after their dance. Her father dosent take her seriously as he thinks shes still kid (like in musical, same with her mothers death) and he dosent think that marriage is harmful as family of simon conviced him otherwise. She dosent blames him but still holds a grudge for not helping her but instead adding fuel to the fire.

Hyde dosent knows what to say so he suggests her to jump on roofs with him to unwind, jekyll as a shadow is completely apposed. She is unsure but decides to accept the offer. Jekyll tries his hardest but hyde has an idea to make it a little safer.

Since shes in a party dress she takes some time to change into more for jumping clothes. Hyde asks her to hold his hand so she dosent fall while jumping

Artistic interpritation bc im not good with words XD

(the end of second slide feels weird but i didnt know how elso to phrase it 🫡)

And here another time they meet ⬇️

Okay im almost done this took wayy too long

Hence things has worsen with her abusive fiancée, and marriage was soon to happen, she decided to run away and asked Hyde for help in that

Later on i imagine her cutting her hair as a sign of new life (so she'll have something like a pixie cut)

She would write her father a letter that she has left due to her own will

Andd Hyde helps her escape to become of Lucy girls ^^ they still meet even after that.

Thinking abt that, most likely in this scenario her father would still search for her. Just wondering if suspecting Hyde should be a part of it (maybe someone has seen them or something like that)

Okay phew finally first one done ☠️ thats exactly why i usually only keep it in my mind its so hard expressing what im thinking i had to fill the gaps as i wrote. Buttt i want to share (and not forget) so here

[brown-little-robin]

Writers Truth & Dare asks:

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

hi thank you!! nice questions!

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I consistently adore fics where people who are bad at being functional human beings but (critically) just good enough at functioning that they fly under the radar for a while—have to learn what "living" and even "thriving" look like. Preferably with messy breakdowns and even messier rebuilding processes. Who would write it best? AUGH, I have multiple favorite authors and can't honestly choose just one, BUT. @phantomrose96 is doing like. THE absolute exemplary job of a longfic with a core theme of healing, to me, in A Breach of Trust. (if you're seeing this, sorry for tagging you in a post that's mostly about me. I talk about ABoT regularly and I thought I'd tag you this time. ok love your work bye)

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I'm on spring break!! I get to be with my family for five days!

Slowly but surely, I'm learning Japanese, and it's giving me SO much enrichment you have no idea. not only does it make anime and manga way more interesting, it's also just...... such a complex language and culture to try to immerse myself in. I could work on this for a lifetime and never master it. what a gift.

I'm in a creative writing: worldbuilding class and it's fabulous. I get to make powerpoints about the bureaucracy of portal spirit travel as homework. incredible

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Hmmmmm, that's hard...... the most esoteric might be the symbolic meanings of different colors and patterns of koi! Black represents fatherhood + masculinity and red represents motherhood + femininity, in case you were wondering :}

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ohhhhhhhh man ok I must preface this with: I love all of them. But for me, in terms of sheer "yay!!" emotions, it's a three-way tie between:

incoherent screaming and/or emojis

intellectual/thematic analysis of one or more specific moments from the chapter

and the rare but extraordinarily powerful "hey your fic made me go get diagnosed with something so uhhhhh thanks I guess"

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

well. not to get too personal, but—I've been trying to be nicer to myself by not making every day into a "failure" versus "success" scenario. It's a stupid long, hard process to unlearn that, because that was a coping mechanism that got me through a lot of teenage and young adult years, but I'm working on it. and it feels better, if less clear-cut, to do things out of love or joy or even logic than out of.... the kind of desperate, shameful... survival mentality, of thinking every day HAS to be categorized into a success or a failure.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

I never do these games but for you, Rebekah, I'll do it. here goes.

ok I've written on my current wip but I'm not comfortable sharing because the writing is Not Settled Enough Yet. so you'll just have to trust me <3

Still taking asks from this list! but if I get another rollerblades I make no promises lol

[chicago-poet]

idk i went back and forth on whether to post this bc i dont make a lot of posts and idk why i expect people to care but also i do want to tell someone and have other people know so.

super long confusing musings on my sexuality and stuff under the cut. its long so u dont have to read it but id like it if u could like the post if u wanted please n thank u 💖💖

like ok so for a long time now ive id'ed as an ace lesbian and felt at home with that and now bc of circumstances and reasons ive started thinking again.

but a part of me has always felt so disconnected from other lesbians like they all understood something i didnt and i loved the solidarity and community of being a lesbian but i didnt really understand such a big part of it. wrt being in love and sex and all. like i think i confused wanting that closeness and intimacy as being the same thing as feeling it.

and like i guess the turning point of that is that like i do want companionship and someone in my life but the way i want it is never the way other people do even through casual dating etc like sex and romance...the way i want those things are so specific to me and its feels like a venn diagram thats a circle and no one else is ever going to share that with me. maybe someday but its such a slim window to fit into that i cant expect it of other people right now.

but ive been reading abour qprs bc thats another thing ive been super critical on in the past (and i still kinda cringe hearing it) and i mean on one hand qweerplatonic feels like one of those tumblrisms thats code for "my discord relationship" and i feel like when you have a community based on a lack of something people fill the vacuum with like. fandoms and strawman comics. like im adult that pays taxes i dont have squishes on anyone.

but like that aside. i do get it. i like my independence and not having to compromise on things and it would be nice to have a life partner who is similar in those things but still wants the emotional intimacy and exclusivity and commitment of a partner. and qpr is like the best way to explain what i need to other people ig

and in that way i finally understood that like. being acearo is a very specific way to want a connection with someone and u do need words for that so u can find other people like u bc most people dont feel like that and its not wrong to want words to explain what u want to other people and if qpr is the best way to phrase it then i guess im stuck with it.

and then its like so do i feel attraction??? have i ever? but im still gay?? how can i be gay and also acearo? but it makes sense to me bc like i want a partner someday and it is more than a friendship. like in the past ive had very intense girl friendships that blurred the line where we would cuddle and hold hands and talk abot getting married and everyone negged us about dating/thought we were dating and ive always been the one to shy away from it when it came down to finally confront it.

but then when it comes time to say if were gfs i just....dodge the question forever. and i feel guilty about stringing ppl along like that bc i know they want something more than that and im ignoring it. like ive always been happiest in that gray undefined zone thats more than friendship but not quite dating.

like ive always been free with affection and then uncomfortable when someone (understantably) wants it to mean something more. ive always been the one whos not as into the other person while theyre enamoured with me. like my ex just used to gaze at me and say they love me and id be like .....thanks....you too! bc i did love them and i thought we wanted the same things. but it was complicated.

ALL THIS is to say that if i do enter in some kind of life partnership somehow it would still be with a woman or non binary person most likely bc i feel most comfortable with them and still dont like men in that way. so im still gay?

but u know. i identified as bi before as a lesbian before and then an ace lesbian so right now im in a phase of my life where aromantic asexual lesbian is the best way to describe me and im okay with that. it doesnt have to make sense to anyone else but me. it can be contradictory and confusing and "incorrect" but like if thats what i feel descibes me best then thats how im gonna be. its lonely but its also freeing because at least now i realize that i know what i want and i can have what i want if i meet the right person someday.

flowers for u if u read this far down💐💐💐💐💐💐 thank u to anyone who read any of that.

[priestofberath]

You know I saw a post where people were talking about what dissociation feels like for them and I saw and I thought, huh, that can't be right. I feel like that every day of my life. Surely I can't just be dissociation all the time! Well. I mean. Huh. Oh sit okay I tought abot it really hard and felt my arm tendons,good god.theyre still there. Ok. I don't want to be a mammal. God gives me the gift of flesh and I curse it and I anguish in it. Pores. Auuuugh. I have hair

[wilbursswirlydicksuckerspecial]

follows my blog for bedrockvere related posts/bird boys posts and you get e wantng to be active at night time and tlak abot the most mundane f thing s and everything. lets talk about life and everythig