#posting this while i dont feel enough shame to hide it all

[galaxitesys]

going to get fussed at for that huh

[problemduetest4life]

YOOO for the WIP game can i ask about: ‘WHY WHY STFUUUU (All the cookie wrappers, and the empty cups of tea) - Jean Moreau/Jeremy Knox (aka the "happy" fic iykyk)’

because u said iykyk BUT I DONT KNOW OMG :((( AND I WANNA KNOW TOO!!! (would love to read a scene too hehe)

Well, let's get into it! It's called the "happy" fic not because it's happy but because the title is from the song Happy by Mitski. Kind of boring explanation for that haha... It is an ongoing work I've been posting on ao3!

It's not a direct continuation after TSC but it starts in the fall of the same year. It has a focus on Jean dealing with his trauma, at first through unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's multi POV, though probably 50% Jean. (you also get Jeremy, Cat and one Rhemann POV!!) Also the Jerejean is kind of slow burn but backwards?? if that makes sense??

Here's a scene I haven't posted yet that I think ~captures the vibe~

~

“What can you tell me about the necklace? What does that mean to you?” Dobson asked.

“It’s Renee’s. She gave to me and told me she would always be there for me. That if I ever needed help...” Jean trailed off. The feeling was coming back.

“I’m sure that still stands, even if you think it’s been a while.”

“I had her. But I didn’t go to her,” Jean said. Vulnerability pinched at his skin. He hated the feeling. It made him sick that the people who had seen him at his lowest, his most exposed and most decrepit, were strangers. At the time he took advantage of that. He could hide the darkest parts of himself from the people who cared if only to spare them the strife. That excuse wasn’t enough to quell his shame anymore. “I had her and Cat, Laila, Jeremy....” And I still did what I did.

“You still have them, Jean.”

“But I didn’t tell them; trust them, and instead I made things worse.”

~

Sorry it's not a longer quote ahhh. Most of what I've written is going to end up at least a chapter after the next update.

Here is the link to the first chapter (though I recommend reviewing the tags before you read <3)

[theaviskullguy]

D&D Obey me- Lucifer, Mammon, + The Twins!

@trash-opposum here you go. seperate post so people can find it but here!

Disclaimer, if i do the rest, im going to avoid making EVERYONE a tiefling or aasimar, those are just for who i think are exceptionally appropriate/is how im playing them as my current dnd character is just Belphegor. If yall want me to make the others (Asmo, Levi, Satan, maybe Diavlo but who knows) let me know!

so let's GOOOOOOOO

Lucifer

Aasimar, the kind from Mordenkainen so no special extra type

Noble background, mainly cause i cant think of anything else

As for class, we have four potential options

Two varieties of Paladin, cleric, or warlock

First paladin variety- Oathbreaker

In this case he was probably originally Devotion before the revolution, and whoops! Oath Broken!

It'd either be a point of pride for him ("I fought for what I believe is right, and there is no shame in that") or he'd hide it from everyone

Second paladin- order of the Crown! obviously because of Diavlo. fellas is it gay to swear undying devotion to your future ki- *gets shot*

Cleric, then Order Domain. clerics are sworn to gods and not demons but shush his patron might still be Diavlo. in an actual D&D setting i can see him instead swearing to like Tyr or something.

he wont be healing. clerics are tanky he's out here ordering people to drop their weapons and then fucking murdering them

Warlock, gotta be fiend patron. im not sure if its possible to be your own patron but itd be funny as shit. worse case its fiend patron with some flavor homebrew as i call it to literally just be a fiend in his own right climbing the infernal ladder as he levels up

i promise the others wont be as long

Mammon

Earth Genasi as those are descended from the Dao, which are the greediest genie. Also, they just look rich with gem-like stuff growing in cracks on their skin you just know Mammon's one of them

Charlatan background. he is scamming people left and right and it works

Rogue, thief subclass. Honestly any subclass other than Arcane Trickster (hes not smart enough) or Scout (hes not equipped for the "outside of civilization" shit)

Unlike for Lucifer, the others have Backstory! Woo!

Mammon is the son of a Dao and a human. His human parent helped him escape from the Elemental Plane of Earth, but then he was left on his own

So. He quickly learned how to con people. At first it was for survival, and then greed.

He found Lucifer while running one of these cons. In particular, his "con" was a vanishing act. He claimed he could become "one with the earth" when really he was curling up on the ground and casting Pass Without Trace. Lucifer saw through this illusion and threatened to out Mammon as a conman, unless he joined him as his ally. So, he did.

Lucifer keeps him in check, but that's not to say Mammon isn't fully on the straight and narrow

Beelzebub

Tiefling!!! variant tiefling favored to have fly wings.

Outlander background, ill explain why in a sec

Barbarian. Need I say More?

actually i will- Totem animal, spirit of the bear. Since bear gets resistance to all damage (other than psychic) while raging and i feel that works with Beel more than anything

now for his backstory! he isnt canon in the campaign im playing belphie in but his backstory has the same catalyst. When he was five years old, the kingdom he lived in was caught in a rebellion against a tyrant. In which, Beel saw his older sister get killed by a royal guard. Belphie was going to be killed- but was protected by a tiefling in a knight's armor (my previous character who was killed. rip avi)

Beel, in his five-year-old mind, just ran. He took off without a second thought- a decision he now regrets deeply.

He ran into the surrounding woodlands. And gets an Atalanta-style backstory. For those who dont know, Atalanta was a princess who was abandoned in the woods and raised by bears

So Beel is raised by bears. Which is way better than being raised by wolves

They teach him how to hunt, gather, and its all well and cute. He sometimes entered the rebuilding kingdom to trade in leftover meat for clothes and weapons- and, to try and find Belphie. No luck.

Eventually, Beel grows to be a powerful warrior. Hangry, sure, but his rage hold the rage of freaking bears. so keep him fed. please.

Anyways Lucifer and the gang (everyone minus belphie) encounter Beel in the woods, watching the cubs. Beel agrees to adventure with them. He says goodbye to bear mom and promises to visit- hopefully, with his twin, next time.

Belphegor

hehe its ME

Zariel Tiefling but i dont give a shit about the infernal legacy its just There. tail is a cow's tail he basically just looks like his demon form

Hermit background. again ill explain in a sec

Druid, circle of stars! to people about to scream "i just checked the wikidot why he no circle of dreams??" because that doesnt have to do with dreams and sleep as i wished it did. its the obligatory faewild subclass. i hate the faewild subclasses (other than the bard one that ones fun)

Currently n the campaign im in we're level 5, so his two wildshapes are wolf, and a bull. But he also has his three starry forms due to being circle of stars.

now. backstory! strap in this is Long

he's saved by my previous dnd character- Avi- and is taken in by him and his husband when the rebellion was over.

Except. due to seeing his sister die and not seeing his twin after that, Belphie assumed the worse and thought that Beel also died and he was the last one of his family

He fell into a pretty deep depression and had no motivation to do anything besides sleep, cry, and eat very tiny portions of meals.

eventually his adoptive dads start telling him stories. and. surprisingly. they seem to help! Belphie is still a shrinking violet but he eats more and can cook and do basic chores!

And Then Avi Goes Missing

His husband- Skull- asks the now 11 year old Belphie if he wants to come along to find him. Belphie declines, saying he needs to get in control of his life and some big quest is probably just gonna leave him with more trauma

Skull lets him stay home, and gives him one of his feathers. So if Belphie ever needs a hand, he can call Skull over and. well. have one of his dads at least

For five years, Belphie took to studying druidcraft, and the stars. He also enchanted his favorite pillow to float and be able to carry him. So he had a little more comfort when going out to buy groceries. He'd make detailed star maps to sell in return

When the sun rose on his 16th birthday, he left a note at home saying he felt ready to tackle his own destiny, and left.

He had a brush with Lucifer, but not Beel. so close, buddy.

Anyways he arrives at The Hunters Guild, finds his parents again, and takes residence in the observatory, where he studies his stars and druid magic again. But also, sleep and dreams.

and. yeah thats where we leave off! god that was long im sorry

[big-coyote]

(this is the oc anon) i also forgot to ask but is there stuff that i could write about them to give them more depth as a therian? i dont think i am one, i may be animalhearted i tthink is the word, but ive seen posts about how being alterhumans not always pretty and fun and want to incorporate that too but again i dont know enough abt that hah ! thank you so much by the way

(2/2) Hello again! This is a follow up to the first ask! If you have any of your own thoughts feel free to comment or reblog!

I don’t think there’s any one universal experience in being a Therian or having a nonhuman identity. Some find it a very positive experience overall while others find it a very stressful and difficult experience. I think like many other identities there will be good and bad, fluctuations in how your OC may feel at any given time.

Maybe they at first try to hide their identity and feel ashamed. They don’t talk about it to anyone and feel like they are making it all up in their head, many therians I’ve meet often have imposter syndrome in their own lives. And maybe overtime your Oc learns to push through the feelings of doubt before finely embracing their identity in all of its forms.

Maybe they have always had a feeling they were different. Despite everything they felt separated from their peers and loved ones around them, but never had words to properly describe their feelings. Until one day they discover their identity and it all clicks into place, they find the correct words for their feelings and it all makes sense. The years of feeling out of place finely comes together and they feel at ease with this new found understanding of themselves.

Maybe they don’t care about their identity all that much. Maybe it is only one small factor of their life and there are other things that take priority over it. They may still be a Therian but they are also have many other identities or aspirations that influence them and make them who they are. Their job, their school, their friends, their family, their religion, their gender, their race, their sexuality, other parts of their lives take priority first so being a Therian is just one more thing to them.

Maybe they feel dread. They hate the body they live in and they loath the life they live. Being nonhuman has been one small bright spot in their life, but they wish they could run away from it all. Go into the world as their true self and be seen for what they are on the inside rather then the outside.

Or maybe they’ve always known they were a Therian and have loved every second of it. They are out, proud and loud. No shame. No guilt. They love their lives as authenticity and happily as possible without a single doubt.

There is no right to wrong way to feel about your own personal identity, that’s entirely up to you to decide. Or- I guess your OC to decide lol. I feel like looking at your OCs lives experience and their personality might be the best way to build a story about how they feel about their identity. I find it really fascinating when characters perception of themselves is shaped by the world they live in or how they experience things.

I’ve heard about being animalhearted which seems really interesting! I do hope you’re able to continue on your OC and again if you have more questions/want to share stuff my DMs are always open to chat! Thanks so much for the ask! I appreciate it! :D

[saskiavalentineapologist]

on the subject of "exploring horrifying implications" i have something i've recently come to appreciate re: characters / worldbuilding but because it's not solely about horror, i wanted to make my own post

my friend jennie has been talking about this a lot but it basically comes down to "push your stupid idea so hard that it wraps back around to emotional resonance" but i think it can apply to "push it so hard that it wraps around to horrifying implications"

I'm struggling to think of an example from my own writing.

i might circle back around but let me give you the basic thought process:

"stupid name/concept" and then repeatedly diving into the "why" and the "what do they think about this" and "what does the world think about them" and pushing that until you find emotional resonance or perhaps horror. never done horror, but i imagine it could be done.

what does it mean to be so beautiful it hurts people to look at you? it means you have to hide your true self, it means being afraid of people seeing you as you are, it means shame. it means that even if you make yourself beautiful to compensate for hiding yourself, you know you're not what you should be. not mine, but my favorite example of this.

i dont have many pure chucklefuck or even chucklefuck-leaning characters but we'll go into Pander. long post under the cut, but the top part is the gist

pander is a character for a campaign an irl friend is planning and eventually running. the concept of the campaign is "all the pcs are married to the same bard and while they all know each other exists, they've never met. now that Chaddeus Thaddeus the Third has gone missing, they all have to band together and find out where he went"

enter Pander. hundreds of years old satyr who's the embodiment of fey revelry. The slutty bard archetype pushed to the max. she's got an 8 int and a 5 wis but a 20 charisma. she's ditzy, she's bubbly, she's an extrovert, and she loves having and talking about sex and she loves games and bets and wagers. She's so beautiful that it's otherworldly and knows it, and uses it to bewitch and dazzle. she doesn't understand a lot of mortal customs, and

through asking myself "why" and digging into possibilities, i have pushed it back around to emotional resonance.

what do people think about pander? they think she's an airhead who doesn't have anything interesting to say. what does pander think about this? she kinda embraces the ditzy thing and pretends it doesn't bother her, but even though she would never show it, it really does bother her. why? because she doesn't feel heard. she doesn't feel listened to.

okay, so she's married to Chaddeus Thaddeus. why? she could have any person in the world with her beauty and charm, theoretically. why him? because he makes her feel heard. there's no stipulations or conditions, he loves her as she is. she doesn't have to pander to him to get him to love her.

why does she feel the need to pander to people? why did she go so far as to take it as her name? because she was in a survival situation that required her to. well what was the survival situation? she was kidnapped from the feywild as a small child (4-5 year-old equivalent in fey terms) and taken to a circus. her purpose was to be dazzling and charming and otherworldly and to be a fey giving a performance to draw people in and get money.

well, what does she think about this? she's bitter she wasn't able to grow up in the feywild. why? because the fey in the feywild are more beautiful for growing up there. she wasn't able to be exposed to the magic as much as the rest of them. what do the fey think? she's to mortal-touched to be fey and she's too fey to be mortal. she doesn't belong anywhere, and is so desperately craving attention and validation and the only way she thinks she can get it is by being beautiful and dazzling and over the top and showy all the time.

chaddeus is the only person she's let in enough to see her true self. why is she going on this journey? because she's so scared of losing him.

y'know? its not "angst for angst's sake" its finding logical conclusions that have led to "x stupid concept"

why are they this way? how can we find resonance?

for pander, it's through making bonds with people she feels comfortable enough with to let in.

i really like stuff like this idk thank you goodbye

[the-s1lly-corner]

not a request but I would just love to know...just WHO is sending you these weird requests about murder and vomit? I mean I would think that people would know better than to do that!

obviously since its anon i dont really... know (apologies if this sounds mean or sarcastic, truly do not mean to sound like that i just dont know how else to word this LMAO)

but its. weird. not to diss the anon(s) of course, since ultimately i dont think they mean any harm (or at least thats what i like to think)

but between the vomit, the murder, and the yandere stuff and that other thing that happened a few weeks ago with someone pushing me to answer their request and taking multiple days of me politely turning them down due to being uncomfortable it just. gets exhausting

theres also other requests that i have deleted straight away that i did not bother with entertaining via answering; from slightly worse material than the examples listed above the outright nsfw/nsfw material (again, this is a sfw blog i cannot stress this enough. the admin is not comfortable writing nsfw, as far as they know tumblr does not allow it/theyre not risking getting banned, and they cannot properly/comfortably regulate who does and doesnt see the content. this includes nsfw-adjacent material, regardless of if you hide it behind the word "fluff")(this is also not to kink or fetish shame anyone who has sent in something that i turned down or did not respond to. that aint what im about unless your interests bring harm)

ramble aside, as much as i love writing and taking requests and bringing joy to others with these dumb hcs of mine its getting a little.... you know... thankfully the odd requests are few and far between at the moment, and so far it seems that nearly everyone is respectful when i DO turn down a request for one reason or another; with only one or two bad eggs that keep pushing... so i feel i dont really have much right to complain, thats normal. hell thats even low, given how massive the TADC fandom is + other fandoms i have written for

ramble aside i am grateful for the moots i have made by opening TADC requests, and while i do not talk much outside of these posts i do greatly appreciate the love that has been put towards my dumb hcs. i dont intend on closing TADC requests anytime soon, at least i dont plan to; and i doubt i will close them if i keep getting weird/strange requests since that wouldnt really be fair to everyone else. with all that said and done, i hope you (and everyone else reading this) have a wonderful day, evening, and night; please take care of yourselves

admin signing off

sloppily cartwheels out of the room

[raincamp]

i feel like i might romanticize/glamorize SH too much, as someone with BPD + histrionic traits, romanticizing harmful/self destructive acts that get me attention is just a part of my disorder, and i try to keep it to just myself & not expose other people to it unwillingly, bc i dont believe in encouraging other people to start or to relapse

but i decided to make a post talking about the cons/bad parts of SH to cancel it out

obvious trigger warning

why you shouldn't self harm / the cons

- blood stains on everything. your mattress, your bedsheets, your favorite blanket, your comfy sweatshirt. how bad it feels knowing your whites will never be perfectly white again.

- it hurts. i mean. listen. you can say pain feels good etc etc but be fr our human instincts really don't enjoy it we just like the afteraffects/endorphins that come from it, pain by definition is uncomfortable

- having to get medical attention, or acquire medical knowledge that most people dont have. knowing the layers of skin and where all the arteries are. the fear of hitting arteries. hitting arteries and having to get help. having to pay for stitches.

- the constant need to be deeper, the never feeling like its enough, almost, almost feeling the satisfaction but never actually achieving it. the frustration after you fail. the shame of even trying.

- the addiction. the fact that its going to haunt you for the rest of your life. you could be clean for 10, 25, 40 years and you will still instinctually want to SH anytime something goes wrong and you dont feel like you can cope. you'll constantly be fighting yourself for the rest of your life.

- scars haven't ever really been a con for me tbh. but sometimes i think about the fact that i did it to myself, that theyre permanent, and theyre never going to go away, and it hits me, how a single decision can affect the entire rest of my life. permanently. and i have nobody to blame but myself. and it sucks.

- when you sh for attention and it works, and the shame you feel immediately afterward. and worse, when you get attention/validation from your scars after youve been clean for a long time and you feel like you conned & faked your way into it, and it taints the validation you were recieving.

- "promise me you'll stop 🥺 youre too pretty to do that 🥺 stop for me 🥺" when you roll up your sleeves after making a new friend and they dont get that its an addiction/that youve been clean for a while/ that you cant promise to stop because relapse is inevitable and promising will make it worse/ that its none of their fucking business jfc

- being unable to look at normal, mundane objects like razors, pencil sharpeners, exacto knives, box cutters, knives, etc. without being triggered.

- when you realize its been 10 years since you started and you STILL think about it on a regular basis.

- the itching. the nerve/sensation loss on scars. the weird zapping pains that happen years afterward. infections. the pain lasting for days/weeks. constant aftercare.

- scars fading and being triggered. seeing your scars in the mirror and being triggered. seeing other peoples scars and being triggered. seeing people score bread and being triggered. when people cut normal things and it looks just like sh and being triggered.

- clothes sticking to fresh cuts.

- either urges to relapse during winter because its easier to hide everything or overheating in the summer because you couldnt wait till winter. or both

- other people starting sh because of you. other people shing because of you. this has happened to me multiple times. i started someone's self harm addiction on accident. i can never forgive myself for it.

- forming other addictions to stop relapsing sh. being unable to stop one without leaning hard into the other. or doing both at the same time.

[mrpenguinpants]

Xiao: First Kiss HCs

I’m so sorry it took me actually forever to reply to you. But I really hope you like this and it was somewhat worth the wait;; I tried really hard but ty for liking my Xiao content and yes! Let’s be absolute trash for Xiao. In this house we only believe in Xiao supremacy 💕💕

---

Semi Part 1: Friendship

Semi Part 2: Falling in Love

Semi Part 3: Cuddles

Semi Part 4: Protective

Semi Part 5: Affection

Semi Part 6: Jealously

Semi Part 8: Opposites Attract

Semi Part 9:  String of Fate [Soulmate] HCs

Semi Part 10:  [ Fainting ]

---

Childe Ver: First Kiss HCs

Venti & Kaeya: Mistletoe HCs

Venti, Xingqiu, and Razor: Kissing HCs

Considering how many more Xiao fics I need to write. This semi part link might not be a good idea lol. Also let’s ignore if I wrote in a kiss in a previous post haha.

---

[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji​​  @mikeysbike​​ @unionwitch​​ @musekala​​ @twistedsunnshiii​​ @stanzastic​ @akaasea​​ @xoneaboveallx​​ @adoring-ghost​​ @asheseiler​​ @childelover​​@youaskedfurret​​ @snowy224

---

Xiao: First Kiss HCs

When you and Xiao first got together. It was a slow and steady process of learning each other boundaries and what felt comfortable. Xiao knew he was a difficult partner but you loved him and even becoming his friend was a slow and worthwhile adventure. It started off small leading from small handholding, to cuddling, to showing each other affection. But the one area that you both weren’t familiar in was kisses. He was an isolated adepti and you were an adventurer. You didn’t have any experience in being kissed and Xiao sure as hell didn’t either. Plus it was a lot more intimate and nerve wracking compared to holding hands and that was an hard hill to tackle in itself.

You didn’t mind that he wasn’t comfortable with initiating affection or never went in or talked about kisses. You were just happy that he was by your side and that your love was reciprocated. That he was comfortable in your presence and seemed content in your arms. It still made you a bit giddy when you reflected on how far you both came and that was enough for you. Xiao, on the other hand, couldn’t exactly say the same. While he was happy and he was content, he couldn’t help but feel that maybe your relationship was too one-sided? He knew that you were comfortable and okay with waiting for him to work out his issues and figuring out how to love again but he also really wanted to do more. He just wasn’t sure how to start.

It suddenly dawned on him one day when he saw you off on your next journey, that he had never really kissed you. Even a small goodbye kiss. It was usually you initiating affection or giving words of love and you always told him that it didn’t matter if he said it or not. His actions said more which always made him flush a bit. But on slow and quiet days where you were off on another adventure and Liyue was calm, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to you. To your face, your bright eyes that would light up whenever you talked about the interesting sights you saw on your journey, the curve of your nose whenever he tapped it when you started to ramble on to much, your lips and how they would spread into a soft smile when it was just the two of you.

Xiao quickly flipped himself up into a sitting position and groaned into his hands. What was happening to him? He needed to take a walk to clear his mind again. He’s been going out a lot since he met you. He had faced an army of demons and fought in a war and yet this felt like the hardest challenge of his entire thousand year long life. He could almost hear Guizhong’s laughter at his predicament and her words of wisdom saying to take whatever problem he had and face it head on. Just without his spear. The spear needs to stay home.

So the next time you visited Wangshu Inn he asked for you to close your eyes. You complied but you were surprised, sitting by the railing facing Liyue up on the balcony. Was he going to gift you something? This was the first time he asked you to close your eyes but you trusted him. You could almost feel the anxiety waving off Xiao so you kept quiet and patient and waited for him to be ready.

He was ready. He could do this. You weren’t even looking at him so what was there to be worried about? He slowly leaned in, just hovering above your lips. But then he leaned back a bit, flushing red. He nearly chewed his lip before stopping since you probably didn’t want to taste blood. It wasn’t that he wasn’t ready or he thought that you would hate it, he was just nervous in messing up. What if his accidently transformed? What if he accidently pushed you off the railing? Even worse, what if someone showed up and saw you both like this?

Turns out he didn’t need to worry. Somewhat. Zhongli, who Xiao knew now was actually Rex Lapis in disguise, made a sudden appearance behind him. The whiplash of suddenly seeing his Master, the nervous butterfly’s fluttering in his stomach, and pep talk Xiao was trying to pound into his mind made him suddenly lurch forward and kiss you deeply. A bit too deeply as his little fangs nipped at your bottom lip.

“Zhongli!?”

“Rex Lapis?!”

You both quickly broke apart as your eyes flew open when you heard the man but also surprise at the sudden but, not completely unpleasant, pain and pressure on your lips. You could almost see the soul leave Xiao’s body when he spun around to see the surprised Zhongli. It was silent for a moment, all three of you just staring at each other. You were still processing what the hell just happened, Xiao was trying to find a way to astral project, and Zhongli was computing the fact that yes, the ever grumpy and “don’t touch me” yaksha both had a lover and was in the middle of...courting.

“Oh. My apologies. I wasn’t aware you were both occupied. I shall take my leave and visit another day then.” Zhongli simply nodded and left before you or Xiao could say anything. You both stared at the empty figure of where Zhongli was before you started to burst into laughter at the situation. You really felt bad, you did honestly, but with all the overwhelming emotions you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m...sorry. I didn’t know he was going to visit today,” Xiao muttered as he pressed his hand into his face and groaned at the embarrassing moment. You could see the tips of his ears were getting redder by the second which made you chuckle. For such a fearsome Yaksha he was really cute sometimes.

“It’s okay Xiao. I don’t mind. But are you alright?” you stifled the last of your giggles and reached out to pull him closer and remove his hand from his red face before cupping his cheek. He huffed but leaned into your hand. He really was sometimes like a cat.

“Are you hurt? Was I...too forward?” Xiao asked but he still wouldn’t look you in the eye. The floor was very interesting this afternoon. Wood was nice. Wood was good.

“No! It was...nice,” you answered, starting to go a bit pink yourself now before you felt a stinging pain in the corner of your lip, “Ah. I think you might accidently bit my lip though.”

“I see,” Xiao was now looking at you with his piercing eyes as he watched your small pink tongue brush over the corner of your bottom lip. His attention began to focus on that small part as the world seem to narrow down. Just the two of you. But unlike when you both would lie on top of the inn and watch the sun go down he felt hungry.

“Do you-”

Before you could ask anything Xiao suddenly pounced and pressed his lips against yours in a heated kiss. He took you by surprise but you quickly recovered as you gripped the purple ribbon on his back and yanked him forward as his hands slammed against the railing, trapping you. You felt his tongue press against your lips as you slowly opened them to let him in. It was overwhelming and you were sure if you hadn’t been grabbing onto the purple ribbon you would have fell over but then a sudden deep rumble snapped you out of your trance.

“Xiao? Are you...Are you purring?” you giggled when you got a tiny but of separation from the lack of air but he frowned at you, really it looked more like a pout, before leaning over once again.  Just barely brushing over your lips as he whispered

“Meow”

---

This isn’t even OOC anymore. I feel like I’m writing a fucking k-drama right now, what am I doing anymore? English? Huh? I do not compute.

I’ve just awakened something in me with Cat! Xiao and I am flying with it (and casually ignoring lore. Isn’t he a bird?). Heading straight for the stratosphere and you cannot stop me. Just gonna hide away in shame now don’t look at me.

Okay. Time to commit sleep for uh 2 hours lol. I’m really tired but I feel kinda proud of myself haha. Tomorrow’s fics are going to be Venti, Lisa and Diluc pairing, and Venti and Barbara pairing. Good night!

Oh, and yes there is a lot more Xiao content to come and uhh might continue this cat!xiao idea. Unless that’s too weird. I’m sorry don’t shame me pls 😰

my god tumble just work. i dont want to deal with you and your tags. 

[koi-fish96]

Mommy Hizashi 😳🥴

@psssh-its-pastel this is 110% your fault, its been in my head since you first posted it {and I saw mommy Hizashi on their blog first so also create to them} I did not edit this because no♥️ just no♥️

*Hizashi pushing you into a closet at the Put Your Hands Up Radio studio following you in as he closes the door getting right up against you and whispering in your ear “Mmh~ Baby mommy wants you, right here. Right now.”

*You come home to find Hizashi sitting on the couch eyes closed, head tilted all the way back as he rubs his temple before extending a hand out to you “Mommys had a very long day, why dont you come over here and help him unwind pretty thing.”

*Your wrist are tied to the headboard and your blindfolded as Hizashi runs his hands lightly up and down your thighs, the only touches hes given you so far, you hear a deep chuckle that sends a shiver down your spine “Tell mommy how you want it baby.” 

*Trying to tease him during some boring hero gala and he tugs you closer leaning down to whisper in your ear “Dont make mommy take you home and punish you.” before goes back to who he was talking to like he didn’t just say that to you

*Hes driving home and your hands just ~oh so innocently~ rest on his thigh moving up little by little until “If you make mommy have to pull over, your not gonna be able to walk tomorrow brat.” 

*Hizashi putting you on your knees as he looks down at you with that cocky grin unzipping his leather pants “Mommy wants to see those pretty lips around his cock.”

*Hizashi’s been in his home office since hes gotten home, which means you haven’t gotten any attention from him all day. You go in with a snack for him but Hizashi knows that look on your face all to well. He tugs his pants down letting his not so little friend spring free “C’mere baby, you can have a seat on mommy’s lap till hes done working.”

*Play flirting with Aizawa all night just because you know it pushes all the right buttons on Hizashi. You dont even get your shoe all the way off before your pinned to the wall Hizashi’s knee making its way between your legs “Mommys gonna fuck you so hard you wont be able to think of anyone other than me.”

*Arguing with Hizashi and things getting heated “You better shut that pretty little mouth up before mommy puts it to work.”

*Hes got your wrist and ankles tied to the bed so your wide open ”Your so beautiful, all spread out like that, just for mommy.”

*You’ve been teasing all day and think your getting what you want? Hizashi had to laugh at the little angry pout you gave him as he pulled you to sit on his thigh “The only way your getting off his mommys thigh little brat. Be lucky im feeling generous enough to give you this.”

*How exactly did you find yourself over Hizashi’s lap? You may or may not have have been sending him ~pictures~ of you ~keeping yourself company~ all day ignoring ever warning and command he texted back to stop teasing. Your laying across his lap as he kneads your check “Im gonna make sure this ass is seven different shades of red since you wanna pull little stunts like that.” Not a second later you felt his hand come down with a loud smack. “Since you wanna act like a whore mommy will treat you like one.”

*Hizashi laying in his hotel room all the way in America when his phone rings, its his darling songbird. Halfway through a sentence he stops talking, did he hear that right? Did you just moan? Oh songbird all you had to do was ask “Did you call just to get off to my voice?” His voice lowers to a tone he saves just for you “Should mommy just keep talking or do you want him to start instructing you now?”

*He grabs your chin moving your face to look at him, too fucked stupid to do anything more than just weakly babble nonsense, he gives you a smile as he coos at you “Look at mommy's pretty little slut, been fucking stupid.”   

*Hizashi got you in a mating press, you’ve lost track of your orgams a while ago and your legs are practically useless now but hes still going loving the way you whine from the overstimulation “Who do you belong to?” When you didn’t answer he grabs your face making you look at him “Who owns this ass?” “Mommy! Mommy does!” “Good baby.”

*Hes been teasing you for hours and you caved, fuck your dignity, you start begging and pleading causing him to laugh “So desperate for mommy’s cock. Such a cute little slut.”

*He stopped once he had bottomed out staying completely still for far to long but the second you moved he grabbed your hips stopping you causing you to let out a loud whine “Look at you, trying to hump back on mommy’s cock like that. Impatient, are we?”

*Acting up in hopes Hizashi bends you over and teach you a lesson but he doesn’t even react to your little antics, you get fed up and sit next to him with a pout only for him to finally acknowledge you “Your not the one in charge baby, you’ll get mommy’s cock when you’ve properly earned it.”

*Trying to cover your face only to have Hizashi grab and move your hands above your head “Dont hide that pretty face from mommy baby.”

*”Mommy loves his good little cock sleeve, always so good for me.”

___

I have a tiny bit of shame from this but then again thats never stopped me from posting before 

[annavysoul]

I can confirm, they introduced themselves as 3 readers and they made a post how Bee is leaving and starting their own channel. They even made a post to support it and linked the blog, that's how I knew of the Bee drama. But yknow whatever. But they shouldn't demonize those poor future apouses lmao, it's not gonna be them, or any of us.

Warning very long, I got carried away my bad lol

But the drama on tumblr is kinda mild conpared to Youtube "readers". At least the readers here on tumblr try to hide the fact, that they're describing themselves very well but yoooooooo.... Youtube readers are a different breed. Most of them are super young (12-13, but there are a handful of readers old enough to fucking know better) and just straight up describe themselves with no shame. I even found some who put pics of themselves lmao. Me and my friends like to go through readings and bet, who is describing themselves as a spouse. There is one reader who has over 30+ vids on Mrs. J, and most readings are like over 20 mins long. How much is there to know about a person, that doesn't exist yet??? But most YT readers are obssessed with the fact, that Mrs. J is from India, what a coincidence that the reader is also from India lmao. I'm not saying BTS wouldn't ever date someone from that country, I'm saying it's impossible to get a specific country, age, height, religion etc from tarot cards. The pics on the cards might give you clues and the cards can say that the person is different from you, but they go into way too much detail. And it's funny because they're always soooo specific for Jungkook and V, but for the other ones....crickets🦗 On one hand it's so sad bc you have these little girls, putting out their private info, looks and secrets for the whole world to see (these vids have thousands of views) and they don't really grasp the consequences of their actions bc yknow, their just children. The internet never forgets. But on the other hand, you have these grown women who, like I said, should know better than these little girls. Not only do they get so defensive if you don't 100% allign with what they said, they are borderline so obsessed of the idea of being a spouse. Like tf??? Bts aren't Gods. They're very attractive celebs, who's purpose is to entertain people with their contents and music (hence the word idol & entertainer), while they do feed into that perfect bf material scheme, it's up to the fan to not actually develop real romantic feelings (a celeb crush and being a stan is something very different). Most are actually fans for very superficial reasons, they just find them attractive, not the music. And if you take the glitz and glamour of fame and money away, Bts are regular human beings, with flaws and issues. Like. The. Rest. Of. Us. They only show you the best side of them, because it's part of the whole idol package. We truly do not know these people, no matter how sincere or authentic they appear on camera. Like so so many were suprised that they wanted to disband a few years ago, bc they couldn't handle the pressure. These readers always believe if they meet/marry them, their life is going to be better and they feel alive again or smth. Most of these readers actually need therapy, I don't mean that in a condescending way. They imagine that their spouse, a celeb they've never met, will be their sole reason for their happiness and only then they are able to fix their issues and unhappiness. That reeks of co-dependency. And even if they'd become couple and be public, then what? A really big big chunk of Armys are actually in love with Bts, no matter if they even know tarot or not (Armys usually claim that only 2% of the fandom are delulus but that's definetly not true🥴). You'd get send d*eath threats, be harrassed, get doxxed, be hated for all eternity, even if you'd decided to break up. Look what happend with Jk and the tattoo artist he only hugged. She lost her job bc Armys were reporting her, some were trashing her workplace, she got threats, her friends got harassed and doxxed and she lost a friend (Jk). Not only that, but people would legit stalk you and try to hurt you, if you were a romatic partner of Bts. Then you also have the tarot side, who'd try to curse youa nd paint you as the evil demon, who is toxic to member xyz. And I don't think you'd want to spend your entire life locked in your house. And I personally could never deal with like millions of haters, no matter how hot my partner is.

Yoooo! i search again in yt and watch a couple of videos... these are kids for go sake🥺🥺 where are their parents and why they let them public private infoooo?!? internet and children isnt the best combination...

and yess, theres also grown up women and thats really creepy, u can understand that children might do that cause they are young, BUT WHEN U ARE OLD ENOUGH, U SHOULD ACT BETTER!! and i insist, they just trying to prove to themselves and to the world that they are worth it to be with a celebrity, like yeah of course u are worthy, like any of us, but this is not the way u know? its weird, i dont think its sane at all, they just are using the cards to feel better, and thats bs. and if it is just a cope mecanism, plz work on yourself, get help, life its better when u are in a healthy place

also its interesting about mrs being from india and most of all the videos i watch where from indian armys, tarot doesnt work like that, yeah u can feel the energy that its different, perhaps different culture and think that maybe it could be a foreing, but the cards will never tell you something that specific, less if u dont even know in person the people you are reading for

we dont know them at all, and people put them in a such high pedestal just for being famous and hot, so i really have trouble to think that some tarot readers can pick their real energy, im a very intuitive person, but i need to be in the presence of the person to feel their real energy, so to be so specific in a reading they need to energise the cards with the energy of the person, they need to at least shuffle the cards and connect with the reader, sooo thats why i only see these reads as enterteiment, and its bad for the community to claim that we can see ALL of about them.

i'll never forgive the people who threaten the tattoo artist, poor girl, and thats why the guys cant have healthiest relationship, let them have a LIFE

[freebooter4ever]

I'm digging your Rami comments on his stretchin pics. I agree that his shorts could be shorter and his shirt could be... less bweh heh. Also I also agree on your other post about sexualities. I'm so mentally mussed and my libido is just like non-existant (somewhat due to meds). I'm pretty sure I'm some kinda ace with like bisexual leanings. Like, I'm waay more comfy with ladies but I just find men too attractive. But also, years of Customer Service makes me dislike everyone lol.

LOL at that last line there, i am so sorry my mystery friend. i lucked out in that the only customer service i ever did was in knitting stores, and while we did get some... uh... eccentrics... (read: scary) for the most part our shoppers were just really badass old ladies and middle aged women.

i had to go back and read my comments to remember what i said and yes i stand by the fact that it is already too hot to run w shirts.

i lean towards ace myself too, its hard to force reality into a clearly defined label. sometimes i worry that im just faking it all - nonbinary, bisexual, ace? i think thats why i try to hide it. and get really jealous of like the Janelle Monaes of the world who seem to know exactly who they are and what they want. I think thats one of the reasons i hero worship other people who have bisexual vibes but are quiet about it. makes me think of richard armitage - who like ever since his 'i dont know why women find my character hot in north and south he is an asshole for most the time' days i definitely got the queer vibes, and then with his jokey support of the thilbo fangirls in a way that felt so genuine, and THEN him finally announcing his sexuality publicly but it being a pretty quiet thing. i dunno, it was a nice reminder that even those in the public eye can live /in/ their idenity even if they dont vocalize it till much much later. there is so much shame surrounding 'hiding'. i wish society focused less on the 'why didn't you come out sooner' and more on the 'why didnt you feel SAFE enough to come out sooner?'

[justice4harwin]

Light’s Corruption- Chapter V

Pairing: The DarklingxAlina

Summary:With few friends at the Little Palace, Alina must work to win the favour of her fellow grisha and their commander, who makes her feel light headed every time she sees him.

After training in Os Alta for two years, the king grows tired of waiting and demands the Sun Summoner joins a western post near the Fjerdan border along with the rest of The Second Army to test her abilities.

Something happens. Suddenly, Alina wants blood to run down the rivers and those who stand in her and The Darkling’s way will be blinded by her light and swallowed by his shadows.

It won’t be pretty

Rating: 18+

Click here for chapter 4

As usual, tags are in the comments. If you dont wanna be tagged, dont be afraid to let me know. If you wanna be tagged, let me know too. I dont bite...anymore lmao

Chapter 5: Heartrenders

Days went by, and they turned into weeks. The leaves fell off the trees, a crunchy sea of red, orange, yellow and brown, and Alina wanted to pile them all on and throw herself inside.

She'd do it the first chance she got, but for that she had to beat the gardeners before they took the piles and burnt them to depressing ashes.

She talked to Michail some more during they rounds around the lake and had her rematch with Natasha.

She lost. Again. She laughed it off. Again. Natasha said she hadn't been so easy to defeat that second time, to which Alina smiled almost genuinely. Progress.

Baghra refused to see her still, and Alina was too proud to go back to her, so she tried to practice on her own. She'd hide away on the far sides of the gardens where the other grisha rarely went to and try to gain more control. It was a slow process; the temptation to let her power run free and vast was always there and trying to tame that always left her exhausted. She had no trouble falling asleep, yet each day the bags underneath her eyes seemed to deepen, as did her appetite. Alina was pretty sure that summoning should be for the better, but more than once, she had thoroughly considered laying down on the cold grass and take a nap there instead of walking all the way back to the Little Palace.

The General wasn't back yet, and much to Alina's confusion, frustration and shame, she worried. Maybe that too had something to do with the bags underneath her eyes. She tended to dream of him in all kinds of scenarios, each less pleasant than the last. It made her wake up sweaty and choking for air.

More than once, she almost wrote to him, only if just to make sure he was alright. But he had to be. Otherwise, word would've spread quickly…right?

She always talked herself out of it though. His presence was missed, her mind was making up all kind of tricks to make her reach out to him like a pathetic girl begging for attention.

The thought reminded her of Baghra's opinion of her, which only strengthened her resolve to not write to him.

She had had enough of begging, enough of getting scrapes of affection from a man who hadn't even bother to write once; she wouldn't do it again, no matter how much her heart tried to pull her to him.

But then her eyes would drift back to the black, shadow rose that laid on her nightstand, the little bit of gold on its inside long dead, and her heart would race and some form of reassurance would fall gently over her, like a blanket shielding her body.

She'd reach out and take it in her hands. It had no thorns. Her fingers would run through its petals, as soft as those of a real rose, but with something deeper in there. There was something more alive inside that rose than in any flower in all of Ravka; it was deep, powerful, and dark. It scared and alluded to her in the same measure, and she'd stare at it fascinated for an unfathomable long time.

She wondered if The Darkling could feel her caressing his shadows; and how he'd feel about it.

Besides Michail and Natasha, Alina didn’t seem to be progressing very much. They exchanged niceties and some jokes, even paired up during training, but there was not much more to it.

She told herself to be patient. These things took time.

One early afternoon, Genya showed up on her room unannounced. Alina hurried to hide her rose inside her nightstand; she wasn't sure why, but she wanted it to be her little secret.

"The Queen just left Os Alta." the redhead smiled. "As did the king. They'll be gone for two days on a hunting trip."

"A hunting trip?"

"Yes, where they kill animals for the fun of it. Like one of those brutish size competitions men seem to like so much."

Alina snorted.

"So?"

"So…"there was a gleam to her friend's eyes, and the summoner leaned back and frowned slightly, almost scared. "I could sneak you into the Grand Palace and into Her Royal Bitch's wardrobe."

"We'll get in trouble, Gen."

"Oh, please; have some faith in me." she placed her elbows on the desk and her chin atop of her hands, almost looking angelic. "Do you really think I'd get you in trouble?"

"Yes."

"Well, then you're wrong." she straightened up and tugged on Alina's arm. "C'mon; there's so many gowns and habits: she rarely wears them twice. We're not stealing; no one will know."

"How many gowns?" she asked, genuinely curious. She had seen the queen on two official occasions, the first time when she arrived from the camps near Kribirsk, and the second when she was invited to her ridiculous tea parade. Still, she had seen her in passing a few times as she strolled the grounds. A part of Alina felt ashamed of the jealousy she felt upon seeing her beautiful clothes and jewels.

There she was, living in a palace, wearing a kefta and being pampered, yet she dared to want more.

"Hundreds!" the Tailor whispered excitedly. "And they'll look much better on us anyway."

She gave in a little to temptation. They would just try them on and leave them again. No one would know, and maybe she'd be satisfied then.

"Alright, alright. But we better not get caught."

"Don't worry, we won't."

They left the bedroom and ran down the stairs, Genya holding onto the blue sleeve of her friend as she rambled about all the different fabrics and patterns and accessories while Alina tried to keep up with her, listening to every word while watching her step. The last thing she needed was to trip down the stairs.

That'd be a sad way to go for her.

"You'll love it. I promise!" Genya turned to give her a smile, but Alina's eyes drifted to the looming figure appearing in her line of vision.

The Darkling walked into the Little Palace accompanied by Ivan, Fedyor and a third heartrender.

It was a woman, a little bit older than Alina probably, but only for a few years. She was tall, with long, brown hair cascading down her back. Her kefta, which hugged her rounded figure nicely, gave her away as a fellow heartrender.

The Darkling noticed them approaching. Alina tried to search something in his eyes, anything that gave away any sort of emotion that could cause in him to see her again, but she saw nothing but his usual coolness.

The Summoner and the Tailor came to a stop and bowed.

"Moi Soverennyi." they bowed respectfully.

"Miss Starkov, Miss Safin; it has been some time." he looked from one to the other. "May I inquire as to your present activities?"

"Nothing we're not supposed to do." Alina spat out, earning herself a dainty elbow to the ribs.

General Kirigan rose an eyebrow.

"I see. See to it that it stays that way."

"Of course, sir." spoke Genya, serious all of a sudden.

The man turned and contemplated the strange woman for a moment, then gestured at Alina with a gloved hand.

"This is Alina Starkov, our Sun Summoner." he looked at her, those pools of grey catching her breath. "Miss Starkov, may I introduce you to Nina Zenik. She is one of my best agents and has just recently returned from an assignment in Shu Han."

The woman's green eyes settled on Alina, taking her in. Something glittered in there.

"So, she is real after all."

"Would I lie to you?" was The Darkling's reply.

"You forgot to mention how pretty she is." Nina ignored him, taking a long, stealth step towards her and catching a tendril of Alina's dark hair in her fingers.

"Um, it's a pleasure to meet you." The Sun Summoner managed to say, nervous under the woman scrutiny.

"Oh, a pleasure indeed, sun bean." Nina smiled, amusement shining in her eyes as Alina's face heated up. "I can't wait to make your acquaintance."

Before Alina could even think of an answer -for the woman's pretty eyes were too distracting- The Darkling cleared his throat.

"Not for some time, I am afraid." he said. Alina finally turned her gaze to him. There was something dark and intense in the way he was staring at Nina's back, his jaw tense. "Miss Starkov has quite the busy schedule."

Alina felt Genya tensing beside her. Nina's eyes slid momentarily, as if she could see The Darkling behind her, and nodded, winking at her before receding.

"Certainly. I can only imagine." she turned a charming smile on him. "Should we discuss my mission in private?"

"Of course." he answered almost, almost too quickly. He made a gesture for her to go in first.

"See you around, sun bean."

Alina choked on her own saliva as she struggled to say her farewell.

Ivan left with them without even glancing in their direction; Fedyor was kind enough to give them each a courteous smile.

Genya was giggling like an idiot.

"Shut up."

Now she was laughing. 

During their training one day, Alina decided to pair up with her. Many grisha gave her a myriad of odd looks, and for a moment, Alina feared she might be about to face another Zoya.

Nina seemed to not to notice them and beckoned her forward.

People seemed to like Nina, Alina observed. The woman had charm and wit; the Sun Summoner really had to try to not get jealous of those traits. She reminded herself that Nina had been at the Little Palace for years, not one season and a half.

They circled each other, taking their measures.

Alina didn't want to be the one to strike first. That always had seemed to go wrong thus far, so she waited.

The heartrender went to the left, so Alina turned, only to be tricked as she received a blow on her right. She winced and stood back, more alert. She didn't want to make a ridicule again.

"You're small and skinny." the heartrender whispered. Alina arched an eyebrow. "I'm bigger and stronger, so your best option is to tire me out."

"I'm not exactly the fastest person."

Nina threw a punch and, luckily, Alina blocked it successfully.

She shook her head.

"Speed and resistance don't need to go hand in hand."

Alina didn't dare to look around to see if anyone else could hear them. She hoped not. Botkin would most certainly disapprove of his students giving each other advice on how to defeat them.

So, with Nina's words in mind, Alina did her best to block and recede. She tried, mostly unsuccessfully, to punch and kick, and received a wince and an "ouch" as Nina rubbed her calf.

The Summoner could feel everyone still watching, Marie and Nadia cheering her on; Sergei and Michail more reserved since she was fighting a fellow red sporter.

Then, Alina caught a glimpse. It was a second, and before she even knew it, she was taking a chance.

Nina was placing her foot down, twisting it as if to test it, and the next she was laying on her back, Alina having all but hurled herself at the woman, grabbing her middle section with all her strength and pushing.

They landed on the ground, and in the disbelief, the Summoner almost forgot to fully immobilize her opponent the way Botkin had taught her.

"You know," Nina gasped, the breath having abandoned her lungs. "There's better ways to get on top of me, sun bean, but if you like it rough-"

Alina blushed in embarrassment, both for having potentially hurt her and for the path those words were leading to.

"Are you alright?" she interrupted hurriedly. "Did I hurt you?"

Nina tried to laugh and cried instead.

"Shit, sun bean. You do have some strength in that tiny body after all."

"Alright!" Botkin clapped his hands twice, coming over toward them. "The little girl wins again, …finally."

Alina was almost offended. At least Marie and Nadia were cheering, as were some others Etherealki. She noticed Sergei and Michail exchanging some coins and scowled.

"Healer." she called, and one hurried to Nina's side.

"It's just a broken rib." the woman said, setting herself to work.

Nina raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm impressed, sun bean. I didn't actually think you'd win."

Alina found a new hiding spot where to practice her summoning. It was a most secluded corner, surrounded by old trees, an unkept stone bench and a dirty sculpture of a woman.

She really wanted to be offended.

With eyes wide, she forgot all about her practice, raced and jumped in, laughing childishly to herself.

She looked up and took in the warmth of the sun with pleasure, her face basking in it as her hands ran through leaves and sticks. It was actually a little uncomfortable, but fun.

She almost wished she could sink in and stay there forever, with the sun warming her body and the crunchy leaves all around her.

There was a big pile of leaves.

"Did you fall?"

A shadow took the light from her face, and she found The Darkling standing over her, looking down with something akin to curiosity.

"No. I just jumped."

"Into a pile of dirt?"

"It's not dirt. Besides, it's fun!" she extended a hand. "Wanna try?"

He huffed. Her cheeks heated up. She should've known better.

He took her hand and pulled her up, the mere contact making everything about him feel more intense as usual.

She held onto him.

"How did you find me?"

"You are my Sun Summoner; did you really think I would let you wander about the palace grounds unguarded?"

"Do you have me followed?" she had never noticed.

"For your safety."

"I thought this was the safest place in all of Ravka."

"I am not taking any chances with you, Alina." he replied, eyes guarded, face soft.

"Well, I've never noticed them."

"It means they are doing a good job. I would not want you to live scared, looking over your shoulder all the time."

"I might as well start now that I know."

He opened his mouth and then closed it, thumb rubbing the back of her hand. Alina wondered if he noticed what he was doing.

"You are right." he stepped closer, pulling a leaf off her hair. "But you need not fear, especially while I am on the palace grounds."

"Because not even the dumbest drüskelle would dare to cross paths with you?"

"Nor would the boldest noble."

Alina frowned. The nobles of Os Alta?

She nodded slowly.

"I have scared you." he stated, studying her face. "I apologize."

"No, no." she let go of his hand. "You just made me wearier."

"That is just how life at court is." he offered, not unkindly. "This is not just an army sometimes, especially for you and I."

Alina looked at him, questioning.

"There is no one else like us, Alina." he said, approaching her once more. The calmness, the facts were gone, replaced by a fire she wanted to step into. The vehemence in his voice made her shiver and want to take refuge in his cloak. "There never will be."

She thought about it. What exactly did he mean by that?

He reached out again and plucked another leaf from her hair, then took her face in his hands. She tilted her head up, desperate for a look into those eyes.

Her heart drummed on her ribcage, wanting to break free.

"I-" words failed her as he studied her face, like she was something unique he wanted to memorize.

His thumb ran over her lips, and she exhaled heavily at the feel.

"I forgot what I came here to tell you." he whispered in confidence, his eyes on her parted lips.

"I don't care."

One of his hands left her face and wrapped around her waist, pressing her against his hard chest. Alina almost gasped, hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. He pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes, hiding the conflict she had briefly witnessed there.

Alina made a choice.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

He reciprocated immediately, holding her tighter and pushing his tongue inside her mouth, demanding a dominance she was more than willing to give him.

She had been kissed, but never like this. It was a first kiss that felt like the last; its intensity so beautifully crushing and chaotic. It was like he was a missing part of her, long searched for and finally found. It was like she was the most precious, addictive treasure, something to be cherished and corrupted at the same time.

Alina was willing to let him do as he wanted with her.

Her hands pulled at his hair, earning a growl. Their eyes met briefly, the desire in them fighting to see whose was grander, before kissing again.

It was like he wanted to pull her closer still, the barrier of clothes too much. Something told Alina that the lack of them wouldn't satisfy either of them anyways.

He kissed her jaw, travelling his way up to her earlobe.

"You make me weak." he whispered harshly, only to proceed to ravish the parts of her neck that were exposed.

"You make me strong." she answered, craning her neck to give him better access.

Growling, he gave her ass a hard squeeze and pushed her back against a tree. She could feel the tug and crunches of the leaves as he buried his hands in her hair but didn't care.

She wanted more.

And more.

She drew his lips back to hers. He reached for the belt which held her kefta closed.

"Sir!"

The next thing Alina knew was that she was standing against a tree, her back aching and her body cold, yet her face hot.

She looked at The Darkling, who seemed almost unperturbed as he smoothly fixed his hair and clothes, standing at a respectable distance from her.

Ivan appeared, seeming to be in a hurry.

Alina narrowed her eyes at him. As if she didn't dislike him enough already, the little shit.

"Moi Soverennyi, you are needed in the king's counsel immediately."

"Tell that grump I shall be there shortly."

Ivan bowed and left, not even acknowledging Alina's presence.

The Darkling cleared his throat. She turned her dark gaze on him, cheeks burning against the cold air, lips probably bruised.

What had just happened?

She wasn't sure, but she wanted to do it again. The Darkling, on the other hand, remained stoic as he stared into her eyes, as if nothing had occurred between them.

"I understand that you have been training on your own;" he said, as if he were talking to any other grisha, ever polite and smooth, voice reassuring yet commanding." I shall speak to Baghra so you may return to your lessons."

"But I don't wann-"

With him gone, the early winter sun felt cold.

"Miss Starkov." he bowed to her respectfully and marched away, disappearing from view within seconds.

Click here for chapter 6

[natblda]

tw ;; rp abuse

reivcn

@alaskaslayer 

 @kennedybtvs 

 @tylerlockwoof 

 @sunnydalescoobies

i wasn’t going to do this. but i’m doing this. the next time you tell someone i was in love with you and talk shit about me or my muses in any fandom...check yourself. because i still have EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE, EVERY CHAT, EVERY GODDAMN THING BACKED UP AND DOZENS UPON DOZENS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE LEARNED STRAIGHT FROM YOU HOW TOXIC AND ABUSIVE YOU ARE...ALL ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT THE HELP FROM ME I ASSURE YOU. YOU ARE INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE YOU TALKED SHIT ABOUT, I have all of that documented too, and you are interacting with them under a different alias. the number of messages i have received unprompted from people coming to me about the LIES YOU SPEW OUT, IS A MORE ABSURD NUMBER THAN YOU ARE A PERSON. 

YOU are the reason you have NOTHING but your delusions, and NOTHING is keeping me from putting every single message i have on a google document because you are literally a predator to this community. i wasn’t going to do this, i really wasn’t. because the fact of the matter is...for someone who’s so ‘in love with you right’....you mean nothing to me. you DID THAT. not only did you abuse and gaslight me for YEARS, you abused my muse, you slut shamed her for having other verses, you called her a cheater for seeing other people, you threw in my face and her face nearly every goddamn time that luna interacted with anyone else ...that I QUOTE “RAVEN DOESN’T NEED OTHER VERSES JUST LUNA, WHY DOES LUNA NEED MORE THAN RAVEN, WHY IS RAVEN NOT ENOUGH, LUNA IS ENOUGH FOR RAVEN. WHERE IS RAVEN IN THIS REPLY? TELL THE OTHER MUSE RAVEN IS THERE SO THAT THEY KNOW LUNA IS TAKEN.” 

like NO. how many times i said...get raven out there, let her explore, let her meet other people? it’s GOOD FOR HER? IT’S GREAT FOR MUSES? and you flipped at ME with that same gaslighting again. RAVEN ONLY WANTS LUNA. IT’S LUNA WHO CLEARLY NEEDS MORE. like honestly. the emotional abuse that you put me through and my muse through, to the point where i almost quit writing her? to the point where luna couldn’t even look at your raven without seeing YOUR NASTY BEHAVIOR BEHIND HER VOICE. and you would say...i cant interact with others bc no one in this fandom likes my raven, they all blocked me. BECAUSE OF YOU. BECAUSE OF YOUR SHIT, AND DON’T WORRY, I HAVE YOUR MESSAGES SAYING THAT IT WAS YOUR FAULT AS A MEANS TO MAKE ME GO ‘awe poor you, you’re just misunderstood. they just know you like i do’. but the truth is? THEY DON’T KNOW YOU THE WAY I DO AND THE WAY EVERY PERSON WHO BLOCKED YOU DOES. POOR ANYONE WHO COMES INTO CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A PREDATOR AND A LEECH IN THE RPC.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN CALL OUT POSTS. BUT I DO BELIEVE IN SAYING MY PIECE WHEN I HAVE BEEN ISOLATED AND SUBJECTED TO YOU FOR YEARS UPON YEARS. and you have the audacity to talk shit about me saying that I WAS THE ONE WHO DID ALL THE ABOVE MENTIONED THINGS TO YOU? yeah that sounds familiar, bc everyone in the world abuses you, you are a victim of everything. literally everything. the number of times i heard you say “not to be racist but...” and then proceeded to spit something racist out of your white mouth.  the number of times you were transphobic, hell...i don’t have to mention that, most people saw that on the dash because you outed yourself with ‘in 2012 people like me could use any fc we wanted with any gender orientation and it was fine so i can still do that!” like..no. i let slide so much that i should NEVER HAVE ALLOWED. I BIT MY TONGUE BC I THOUGHT...maybe she just...needs to be educated on these things, maybe she doesn’t know what she’s saying, maybe it’s just not registering how to be an honest and genuine person. like i get it, people bicker, they have misunderstandings, but at least have the goddamn audacity to be straight forward with it. 

i learned today from a few people...that you accused ME of doing these things instantly upon meeting these people, not even knowing them, and you so readily spilled lies about me. and i figured out why...because you don’t have control of me anymore, you don’t control my muse anymore, because i cut the strings and i cut you out and i kept moving forward, i kept going on, happy...without you. interacting with raven’s who ARE RAVEN, NOT YOU and your narrative behind her face and name. 

the hours i devoted to you, the hours, days, weeks, months, stating over and over again how I WAS YOUR FRIEND AND NOTHING MORE THAN THAT, AND YOU TRIED COUNTLESS TIMES TO BAIT ME. let’s see if you remember this. 

“i told my friends you’re my girlfriend i hope that’s okay.” 

and me...going, i mean we���re friends, i am not in the country, but assuming it was an issue with your self-esteem i said...i guess that’s fine but we’re friends, we probably hang out as much as gfs do but we ARE NOT. and then you turned around with...now you’re giving me mixed signals are we girlfriends? LIKE YOU LIED TO YOUR FRIENDS, YOU STRAIGHT UP KNOW WE WEREN’T , hence the ‘i told my friends you’re my girlfriends’ like you KNEW WE WEREN’T, SO YOU ALREADY KNEW THE GODDAMN ANSWER WAS NO, BUT YOUR DELUSIONS LITERALLY DONT GET IT AND SO YOU ATTEMPT TO BAIT. i’m sorry that after 4+ years sitting on skype every day i can not imagine being with someone i watched eat more out of their nose than of actual food. that was just the tip of the iceberg because then we’re going right back into all of the toxic nightmare you put me through, all the shaming you put luna through., and that carried into threads most of the time, luna having to look at raven and feel like a cheater. like you know what, like i said i wasn’t going to do this, but having just met some amazing rpers i am so blessed to be able to write with and hearing the kind of lies you spilled about me and this whole situation.

i’m going to go to the time when luna was single verse, single shipped with your raven, and when she would interact with FRIENDS, she was slapped for it, i was slapped for it. the time when you tried to pimp raven out in the IMs of one of our mutuals and then that mutual came to me and went...look, im not comfortable, my muse isn’t interested, i’m trying to respect the fact that you guys are single shipped but basically rowan is trying to get my muse to have sex with her. and i went...news to me, i thought we were single shipped, but from this day on...it’s best that we are not. because you know what, considering how many times luna had already been shamed for having friends at that point, to find out that you were ACTUALLY DOING what you were shaming luna for doing, when luna wasn’t doing it? pissed me off and completely broke my rp partner trust in you. and you were only pissed because you got caught, bc someone else was a genuine and respectful person enough to tell me about it. after all the shaming you threw at luna and it was YOU breaking the single ship status. NOT ME. and from that day forth i guess you know what they say...faithlessness breeds a guilty conscience.

i DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE PROTECTION FROM ME. A PREDATOR DOES NOT GET TO SIT BY AND SAY...I’M BEING BULLIED. and i know that’s what you’re going to say, i know because you’re a victim of everything and you depend on my silence and me protecting you bc i cared about the muses. BUT I DO NOT HAVE TO PROTECT YOU. YOU DO NOT DESERVE MY SILENCE. I WILL NOT BE SILENT TO PROTECT YOU. I WILL PROTECT MYSELF AND MY FRIENDS AND EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN SUBJECTED TO YOU, EVERYONE WHO WILL EVER HAVE THE MISFORTUNE OF BEING SUBJECTED TO YOU, AND WHILE I DO THAT, I WILL BE MAKING THAT GOOGLE DOC.  

SO...ROWAN, HIDING UNDER THE ALIAS OF CASS, [ an alias that she used in the past to make it seem like she had backup during an episode of her toxic behavior. yes. she created the alias and a clarke blog and conversed back and forth with herself on the dash so that it looked like she had someone backing her up when she was being passive aggressive on the dash ] she will likely find a dozen other alias to go by. i haven’t had to change mine, i haven’t had to hide, or move blogs, or switch anything just to get people to NOT KNOW WHO I AM, to trick people into interacting with me so that they think i’m someone else. she relied on my silence, she depended on me caring about the ship too much to speak up and defend myself or others, but i am done being silent. 

[obscure-imagines]

(slasher warning, read at your own risk)

-you’re hired as a nanny (this is a given)

-He likes you on sight and his parents leave the next day

-it starts with small thing, pieces of your clothing going missing 

-but then also there starts to be jewelry showing up?

-a pretty pearl necklace on your pillow, a ring on the counter when you get out of the shower...

-they’re family heirlooms of course and you tell the doll not to keep bringing you the ‘gifts’ because his mom would get upset

-you’re not as scared of the idea of the doll being alive as he assumed you would be

-but you were always good to him/the doll so he had no reason to throw tantrums

-one day you’re sick and can’t go ‘wake up’ the doll

-you’re shocked when there’s a knock on your door and a note is slipped under that reads ‘i made you your favourite’ after getting some courage you open the door and find a sandwich 

-you’re so shook and go and get the doll and read to him while cuddled in bed

-he sits in the walls and listens to your read and feels bad that you’re sick

-he knows that sometimes when he’s sick, a shower is nice (even though he generally hates showers, they make him feel a little bit better)

-and he’s a perv so he’s super down for recommending you shower

-so when you go to put the sandwich plate in the kitchen, he calls you on the telephone and suggests it then hangs up

-you’re once more, quite shook. so you leave the doll and trudge to the shower

-it does make you feel better

-Brahms is so tempted to get you to go to the attic so he can lock you inside and generally be a nuisance, but you’re sick so he doesn’t

-he wants a cuddle so bad

-he wonders if you want a cuddle

-wonders if it would make you feel better

-so he calls you again (after you’ve tucked the doll in bed for sleep) and asks “want a cuddle?”

-it’s kind of odd and you’re like “i don’t want to get you sick Brahms.” but then realize it’s a bloody doll so you dont even wait for a response, you just get up and go to Brahms’s room and get the doll

-when you get back to your room, Brahms is there. the real Brahms

-standing with his mask and his cardigan and wife beater shirt

-you’re freaked

-i mean, chances are you run, and if you do, Big boy chases you and wraps his arms around you from behind

-carries you back to your room (you might be kicking and screaming, it doesn’t matter, this is BRAHMS we’re talking about)

- “you’re sick.” he reminds you, as if this will make you conserve your energy and stop fighting him, “i’m a good boy.” he says for good measure

-he sets you down on the bed and backs off, holding up his hands, hunching over, trying to be small even though he’s huge

-he blocks the door

-you realize pretty quick that he’s Brahms

-and you remember he asked for a cuddle

-”do... do you want a cuddle Brahms?” you’d ask, realizing that this will be the right way to talk with him

-he nods, looking down as if he’s bashful, although the would-be-blush doesn't reach the porcelain cheeks of the mask he’s wearing 

-you are HIGHLY aware that this is a 28 year old dude with a doll mask who seems to have been living in the bloody walls

-but if you’re reading this, i’m guessing you’re open minded and have seen a few horror movies and would know how to act for self preservation

-you’re going to cuddle the shit out of this boy so he doesn’t kill you

-is he a murderer? you have no idea as you make room for him on the bed, but he’s definitely scary

-he big

-making room for him and having to pat the bed, he’s being oddly shy about it all

- “come on Brahms.” you’d have to coax

-he comes and lays down and tries to touch or kiss you but you’d have to tut him and tell him to turn around

-making the six foot, hairy wall boy you’re small spoon is the ultimate power move

-and he kind of loves it?

-he falls asleep pretty quick but if you so much as TRY to take your arm away from being around him, his grip on your wrist tightens. 

-yeah you’d be stuck there the whole night

-he’s awake before you the next morning and just states “breakfast”

-and you realize he legitimately expects you to follow the schedule and be his nanny

-“i’ll go make us breakfast but you have to let go of my wrist Brahms.” you tell him

-he lets go of you and sits up and watches you leave the room

-after a moment you can hear him following you

-boy has loud footsteps cuz he bIG

-he lurks while you make breakfast

-and when i say lurk, i mean, you could turn around from grabbing plates and almost run smack into him because he’s just there

-he loves looking down at you because he’s so tall

-follows you around

-you have to do the entire schedule and he follows you the whole day

-he gets bored easily now that he’s out of the walls

-two minutes into listening to music and he wants to dance with you

-he just sort of grabs you and pulls you to his chest

-at this point, you’ve cuddled for a whole night with this guy who just showed up, and made him breakfast and now you’re slow dancing with him

-he’s hairy and gorgeous? and you’re shook?

-he’s looking down at you the whole time and he can feel it in your stance when you relax

-”kiss.” he states, you know, as one does

-“a kiss is for bedtime Brahms.” you’d have to remind him

-he pouts, this is the first time you see him tantruming in person

-straight up throws a chair across the room, arms crossed over his chest, angry baby

-you’d have to console him

-”Kiss.” he states again

-this would be the moment where you’d have to accept his shit

-with a sigh, you’d soften a little, “only good boys get kisses.”

-”i’m a good boy.” he’d insist

-”good boys don’t throw chairs.” 

-he’d look at the knocked over chair with shame and walk towards it with slumped shoulders, pick it up and drag it loudly back to where it’s supposed to be 

-then he’d look at you

-he’s sort of patient as he waits for you to come give him a kiss

-it’s odd to kiss the mask and as soon as you try to pull away he goes to grab you and follow your lips, he’d let you go after a little

-the day continues and at dinner he wants to sit next to you, so when you come into the room for food, he’s gotten rid of all the chairs expect his own and one directly next to it

-he just stares at you, like the fucker that he is

-eating dinner in silence

-kind of awkward at first

-trying to tuck him into the Brahms bedroom bed will fail

-you can try all you want but he’s going to get up and follow you to your room

-you’d have to accept it

-he’d stand in your doorway until you invite him to the bed

-he would stand there all night, don’t test him, he’ll fucking do it

-at the start it would be wise to get him to always be the small spoon until you’re dtf, because if he’s behind you... yeah.... he’s going to hump the shit out of you, like, is this a surprise?

-you’d start to get used to it

-he tries to be good, tries to help you accept him

-he always wants to be touching you

-it gets to a point where he’ll follow you through the house, holding onto your hand

-big hand holder baby

-gets upset when you have to put his hand down to cook

-you’d have to come up with the compromise of him standing behind you while you cook, it’s kind of pleasant having him standing right behind you while you cook? or at least, you get used to it

-but don’t move too much while he’s standing behind you, because the moment you rub up against him, he’s a gonner

-the first night you want to cuddle against his chest he almost dies from it being so soft

-he’s so stiff under you because boy doesn’t know how to properly cuddle

-if you played with his chest hair he’d nut

-well, not literally, but uhh... yeah, blue-balls-ing this boy is not a good idea

-the biggest whiney baby

-(ok now onto once you’re together)

-so boy likes his schedule

-but now that you’re together, he also has to add some extracurriculars 

-sex. we’re talking sex

-he’s horny as fuck

-he likes you having control leading up to stuff, and he likes to please but at the end of the day... Brahms is all about Brahms

-but he’s not into you getting yourself off if he hasn’t made you cum, so boy learns he likes eating more than PB and J’s ;)

-but nah he’s not huge into that, he likes being inside of you

-cockwarming while cuddling

-he likes to bath or shower with you, likes watching you wash him and his dusty wall boi bod

-he’s huge on saying he loves you

-he never wants you to leave

-he’s super weird with anyone who brings groceries

-like, if anyone is in the house he hides but you know if the person in the house so much as touches you... Brahms likes to break through walls and show them who’s boss

-honestly, what’s with him breaking through walls, and why is it so sexy?

-trying to find a painting big enough to cover a Brahms sized hole in the wall is super tough post tantrum

-he likes it when you play with his hair

-he doesn’t talk much

-he loves slow dancing with you

-he likes the way your name sounds on his lips when he does speak

-he loves it when you give him nicknames like Brahmsy 

-loves being the goodest boy

-reaches for things for you from the top shelf

-yeah, thats about as much as he’s going to do to assist you in the kitchen

-i mean, you could try to find a way to convince him to help out more

-he’ll work a little for sex, maybe wash a dish or two but mostly he pouts if you’re holding out on him

-”don’t you love me?” (boy likes to be purposefully ignorant and pretend that sex=love and therefore no sex = no love)

-it’s a big house so there’s usually something to do

-he likes it when you read out loud to him, but he won’t just sit and read himself because he’s a BRAT

-mask stays on during sex unless he’s feeling really warm and fuzzy about you

-there’s something kinda hot about him panting in that mask tho

-but yeah, if the mask comes off he likes to mark you up because he’s a possessive little shit

-he likes to be called good boy during sex

-super praise kink with this guy

-he loves hearing you make sounds

-he’s super whiney too tho

-what an absolute baby

-you’d never have to worry about him leaving or cheating or anything because he is all consumed by you

-you’d just never have to worry about him not showing enough love

-maybe you should worry about it being too much love though tbh

-nah, no such thing, we should all just cuddle this baby

[solomonish]

Just "secret anon" will do haha. Btw the ask was meant as a response for the "smile" post, as well as a reaction to the lovely asks that other fellow Solo Stans gave you.

You're right! He's such a sweet guy--a shame that you don't really get to see it much since most of his softer sides are either hidden in higher main story chapters or in non-F2P friendly URs.

Speaking of that, have you played the Circus Event? His demon UR there was so precious! I won't spoil much, but let's just say that he really lets his guard down with you and even tells you some aspects of himself that many are not privy to. I was smiling all throughout my reading. It was worth grinding the DP for it. (It also looks really pretty! AHHH he is so so pretty.♡)

If you're a VIP member, he tells you "Only you can understand me", or something along those lines...though I think most of you already know that haha. I don't know. It's just so cute that MC is the first person he always thinks of when he's happy? When he's sad? When he's thinking in general? You are in his thoughts enough for him to say that while in your presence, he loses sight of his goals? That being with you just brings him at ease?

I cannot fathom the mental fortitude he must have to keep a facade and hide his weaknesses. The fact That MC is the only person?? In the entire world?? In his millenia of existence?? To be his refuge?? What had he been enduring while we had yet to exist??

Segue: He was already confirmed to be King Solomon in the main story, but not much of his kingly side was mentioned in-game as they focused more on his sorcerer side. I couldn't help but think that either:

a) the devs forgot about it (the most likely reason)

b) something really really really bad happened. Bad enough for him to deny his once kingly existence (the reason my masochistic plot-inclined self wants)

irambledbutialwaysdothatwithSolomonasatopicIhopeyoudontmind. I also tried to keep spoilers as minimal as possible aaaaaaa

EDIT: I posted too late and now we have fluffy headcanons aaaa now I feel bad haha.

Just gonna leave a cute little headcanon here:

Solomon is a naturally curious person--in his quest for the truth and discovering the Universal truth, nothing can bring him more joy than sharing a piece of that truth to someone who had shown him that true wisdom isn't discovering a singular truth at all, but to find one of his own that would give his existence meaning: you.

Sweetheart Solomon 😍🥰 that would actually make a really good url hmmm

Haha but the "non F2P-friendly URs" makes me laugh. You're telling me there are parts of this game that are f2p friendly?? >:0000

I did play the circus event but unfortunately I did not get his UR 😔 im f2p so event UR cards are basically out of the question for me. The closest I ever got was Lucifer's wedding UR and even after spending so much DP and having all the cards I STILL had to wait for him to come back in Lonely Devil..... (places hand against window) Solomon UR please come to me soon. I will grind so hard for you as soon as you come back....

Ugh but hearing that it's super sweet makes me SO impatient!!! I want him!! I love him!!! >:[ grumpy

I dont get VIP lines (again, f2p 😔) but YES......like when I log on and he gets super happy like "You're back!! I was wondering if I'd get to see you again today" or "There you are! I was hoping I'd get to see you" its SO CUTE he sounds SO HAPPY......and his first intimacy level calls....when he sees something funny he instantly wants to share that joy with you.....ugh. he's so sweet I love this man

Be careful with that mental fortitude point secret anon......I might turn it into angst and have him face a mental collapse when MC dies.....or have to face eternity again with only one brief spark of genuine connection.......

Idk much about for real king Solomon but I think its very sexy of OM Solomon to be THE Solomon. Like he's been powerful and great since the beginning of his time??? And now he's with me?? Lowkey wrapped around my little finger?? Yes please what a hot concept

Don't feel bad, its never too late for angst or fluff or anything!!! But damn that really dies sum up the solostan experience. God I love him so much. Let us be together solmare!! I only need one route. The solomon route. Gimmie NOW

[mithliya]

ive been saying that i’ll be posting receipts on the hetfem server, which was also heavily requested by plenty of people on here. this post is going to be pretty long, so i’m putting it under a read more. keep in mind, this isn’t every single wrong thing that has been said on the server, some may disagree with some parts even being wrong to begin with, and this post may have more added to it afterwards in the reblogs. the individuals who have provided me with receipts were all feeling threatened due to knowing how vicious and prone to harassing others the women in this server often are. so ive been sent countless receipts with context, which i have tried to summarise as well. please remember that the point of this post isn’t to call out specific individuals, but rather it is to showcase that the concerns and ‘rumours’ going around about this server were reasonable and true, and to show how lesbophobic and racist this server is (which many have publicly stated before being dogpiled by members of the server). 

first is the zionism and racism in that specific regard. “theHettyishere” is black-diaspora, “Autumn” is probablyaterf. both are partaking in the erasure & justification of how israel is treating palestinians, erasing palestinians proven ties to their country, erasing the war crimes israel partook in, and also erasing the racism within israel which prioritises ashkenazim over mizrahim and black jews.

then they got more blatant and started saying that if you’re anti-zionism then you’re .. anti-semitic ?? keep in mind these people aren’t even jewish 

then they go onto defending christianity

and falsely claim hitler ‘deeply respected’ islam. interesting considering hitler called muslims ‘half-apes’ and all but oh well!  

second set of receipts is the defending of blackface and justification of it. in both these ‘debates’, they literally only present one side and then act like they had a great discussion at the end of it when they’re all just confirming their pre-existing beliefs and using one another to support that. anyways, girlsfrommars had previously come under fire for publicly defending the blackface tradition existing in her country, the netherlands. this is her doing it again after backpedaling on tumblr on this topic, and people in the server standing by her. battleking is bookrebelwordwarrior on tumblr. 

the conversation kinda goes on for a bit and girlfrommars does the same thing she did on tumblr not long before this convo, which was give a “oh ok i’ll reconsider!” which may not be her truth anyways.

next is people on the server saying straight women don’t have enough good representation and even talking about being upset over bi women and even lesbians being represented?? again, autumn is probablyaterf. laughing bird will appear in the screenshots a lot, although i’m not sure what her url is.

idk how to tell these het and bi women.... that lesbians have practically no good representation. especially not as much as het women. there’s a lot of parts of this conversation that are highly questionable. tldr its bad if lesbians or bi women headcannon gnc women as bi or lesbians. also its bad if gnc characters aren’t straight.

this next screen is coming from a het woman so keep that in mind. i don’t know how to put into words why i find this iffy so yall can see it and decide for urselves

she justifies it w this when a couple of members make it clear they find her message questionable:

on a different occasion, girlsfrommars, a white woman, decides to randomly ask other white women in the server what they think about reparations. a bunch of racist white women show themselves during this conversation. please keep in mind i was not the one censoring their usernames so i myself have no idea who these women are, but the person censored in white is emanon, who has a tumblr. i dont know what her tumblr is, but she will appear in multiple other receipts after this. keep in mind this entire channel ends up being deleted by probablyaterf to cover up the racism and prevent the collection of receipts, which you’ll see evidence of later on in this post.

then one of the white women dismisses the impact of racism, basically,

then woc start to chime in (white is the white woman, ‘emanon’)

then, after this conversation went on for a while, a mod decides to tone-police and shame the woc for taking issue with what the white woman was saying. this mod is also white.

“my race doesn’t matter, but i’m jewish” sounds convenient. especially since this person admitted to being white and stated thats why she should stay in her lane the previous day:

back to the dispute between LB and the woc:

remember LB’s tone and behaviour in  the above screenshots as you’ll see how different it is from how she acted when a white woman was being lesbophobic on the server. 

probablyaterf eventually comes in with “both sides were bad :)” basically

girlfrommars makes a non-apology apology about bringing up reparations the way she did

the next set of screenshots is just.. i dont even know what to say about it? yall can see it for yourselves because i think its self-explanatory. battle king = bookrebelwordwarrior, thehettyishere = black-diaspora, autumn = probablyaterf.

then the subtle lesbophobia comes in

this convo was then moved to a channel that was eventually deleted (receipt of that will be shown on this post).

probablyaterf then comes in and says lesbians are All saying the things mentioned above 

then radfemkitten talks about how upset she was and probablyaterf goes on about how this conversation should stop or something 

PAT then lowkey admits that part of the point of her server is to be able to talk shit about lesbians without being criticised for lesbophobia: 

radfemkitten more or less confirms this

PAT basically says “if you think women here are lesbophobic then leave but if you keep criticising what is said then i’ll mute and maybe even kick you!” ok

after this PAT muted that woman for saying that some of the women were being lesbophobic. 

someone showed exactly where lesbophobia was present 

 “straight women should have a space where they can shit talk lesbians without criticism” basically ^. this is the 3rd screenshot where members of the chat, specifically the creator PAT, states that the server exists partially so that non-lesbians can say shit without being criticised for being lesbophobic. 

this was then said by emanon (racist reparations lady): 

then probablyaterf coddles the women who were upset for being held accountable and kicks out the women who called out lesbophobia

probablyaterf deleted entire channels which involved members being lesbophobic and racist for the bullshit reason she provided here, basically admitting she would remove things to prevent the collection of receipts:

this is why she is so confident on her blog about how people can’t possibly have receipts on her server. because she makes sure to delete the evidence. issue is, she did it too late. she then started twisting the story and lying to save face. she removed the conversations regarding reparations, separatism, the accusations of racism & lesbophobia, them complaining about there not being enough good representation of straight women, etc were all removed. evidence:

then it gets even more blatantly sketchy, where PAT basically tells the members of the group to not repeat the drama or dish the details of it, as any honest and open person not hiding questionable shit would do, apparently. 

the details and specifics of this drama were all kept quiet by those involved as well, and those involved agreed to not talk about what has happened in detail.

the bit “one of the members was crying SO MUCH because you called her lesophobic that she almost LEFT HER JOB :(” is funny as y’all can see the situation for yourself up there, she said something and people questioned her on it. this wasn’t a case of a poor defenseless victim being cruelly attacked or whatever.

“a lot of them do tho clearly” keep in mind that there were like what .. 4 lesbians that took issue with the server? and initially there was even less than that.

radfemkitten then goes onto a lesbophobic rant.  

then they changed the story within the server and claimed that the accusations of racism were directed at woc... when it was directed at white women exclusively, as shown above. keep in mind the person claiming this and putting racism in quotations is a white woman herself so. hmm.

next incident is some white woman being very blatantly lesbophobic on the server. several people took issue with it, and she received multiple warnings but was not kicked. keep in mind that earlier, someone was kicked simply for questioning a member on the server and saying they were being lesbophobic. yet when someone is blatantly lesbophobic, they receive multiple warnings and then get away with it. “pinkie the feral one” goes by roxxy, i don’t know if she has a tumblr. notice how laughing bird is comparatively very civil and patient with this roxxy person. 

bi & het women determining that lesbians talking about thinking of pussy somehow implies ‘homosexuals are sex crazed deviants’, is what’s homophobic, btw.

next are when the hetfem server came under fire after TD spoke against it and drama ensued. i was initially 100% for the hetfem server and said those opposing it were being illogical. however, after a while of that drama, some lesbophobia was starting to come out from the hetfems which is when i said i think both sides are wrong. the hetfems took this very personally and proceeded to make lesbophobic comments about how im just bitter bc i dont have a gf or something (altho i was in a relationship back then so lol) and then they blatantly said they dont think het women have power over lesbians. the convo resulted in them full on arguing that lesbians have it easier than het women.

next coming is the hetfem server arguing that abrahamic religions actually *helped* women and how radfems should be talking about that. keep in mind some of these are the same people that mock people who say islam is a ‘feminist religion’. 

next is them arguing on the hetfem server that Nasime Aghdam, the youtube shooter, is male and referencing a meme as a source. they completely ignored the fact that Nasime’s childhood photos make it pretty obvious that that meme was inaccurate anyways. also probablyaterf argued that it’s somehow racist to note that nasime aghdam resembles many other people in the middle east (somewhere im from & where ive lived my entire life). its interesting considering how many things she argued weren’t racist or homophobic, yet noting that someone isn’t a Weird Unusual Looking Alien like she wants to claim is ..racist

the probablyaterf goes on to strawman that i claimed all iranians are clones of each other or smth simply bc i said nasime aghdam’s face is not unusual in countries like iran. also keep in mind the person censored in red is a white woman lol.

henryhetta = foxfur-nadine.

listen.. ive seen women wearing borderline clown makeup in my country. it doesnt make them male. anyways then PAT says ‘maybe im wrong but ill insist im not anyways’, basically.

next is the time black-diaspora posted a pic of my mom taken from my country’s gov facebook page, which provides people with her first & last name. this was brought up on the server. they said i was lying (i was not) and went on about how im crazy and need to get laid. also calling me a ‘nigel’ in one of those screens.

then they just keep justifying it and insulting me. instead of taking issue with what a member of their server did.

so basically “calling out lesbophobia is bad, but posting information that leads to someone’s mom’s full name and facebook is ok, and somehow posting something from a ‘public news article’”

then they said “homosexuality is legal in bahrain” to somehow justify any of this??? as if Bahrain doesn’t have a history of killing, imprisoning, torturing, and exiling Bahrainis that they see criticising the government (which i frequently do) or anything. not like around 200 people have lost their lives for critiquing Bahrain’s government or anything. moreover, plenty of things are ‘legal’ in Bahrain but still lead to punishment. sex outside of marriage is illegal and gay people can’t legally get married, for one. and people have been imprisoned in Bahrain for kissing members of the same sex. but whatever i guess. anyways then radfemkitten argues that i sent a picture doxxing my own fucking mother to black-diaspora. so i endangered my own mother and then begged these people to delete the information they posted, apparently? 

sadly, that is the end of the receipts i have on the topic of BD endangering my mom and the hetfem server justifying it and finding ways to blame me for BD’s actions. so i don’t have the bit that confirms how she explained herself to others and justified it, however she did justify and defend it publicly when i called her out on it. BD was not kicked or muted or anything of the sort for what she has done, and as you can see, everyone justified it and took it as an opportunity to insult me. this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue if i wasn’t from a dictatorship and if my blog wasn’t so political. what BD posted is STILL present on another blog and i could not get staff to delete it, so if the information falls into the wrong hands i don’t know what’ll happen to my mother, or even to me.

next is them justifying allying with the right despite their homophobia, racism, etc. keep in mind some of these women reblogged white supremacist propaganda in agreement with it so this isn’t particularly shocking. christmas begins in november = autumn = probablyaterf.

the issue with this, by the way, is associating with a group that is often misogynistic, homophobic, and racist solely to have a slightly larger platform of people who are more or less heavily for gender, gender roles, and more, sends the message that somehow these are ok things to side with as feminists. yall notice how many ‘radfems’ are literally just conservatives who are against some aspects of misogyny or trans people? these are the people you’re roping in a lot of the time. and this makes the voices of radfems easier to dismiss by the left as well. instead of establishing a space in the left, you end up placing yourself closer to the right and effectively putting the success of your movement to a halt.

these coming screenshots are the hetfems arguing het women have it The Hardest in radfem spaces 

separate event is just some lesbophobia, again.

“imagine a straight/bihet woman wondering what the purpose of a lesbian is” go outside. there’s plenty of that. one idiotic woman saying that about bisexuality doesn’t somehow override that.

more blatant lesbophobia in a separate event. note the reactions underneath the text (all in agreement)

how often have gay people talked about how the stupid “you have equal rights now uwu” bullshit is simply bullshit? this is exactly what men use to dismiss feminists, why do it to dismiss talk of homophobia?

a bunch of white & het/het-passing women joking about making a straight pride or kkk march

remember the white woman, emanon, who argues against reparations because “what about poor white people? :(” she comes in with more racism, and some intersexism too! this is her calling caster semenya, an intersex black woman, a man and using ‘he’ pronouns for her. girlfrommars, the white woman keen on defending blackface, comes in to express her agreement.

then they argue that semenya was raised as a male.. because she refused to wear feminine clothing including in school & because some people thought she was, and thus treated her as such until they realised shes not, a man??

this is more recent than a lot of the previous receipts. i reblogged one post by radfemkitten a while back, and she was so flattered she felt the need to complain about it on the hetfem server, to which someone replied by likening me to a male hippo from madagascar.