#post malone could hop on it

[deadudephotos]

Rapper who’s career is falling off because he can’t stop rapping about how he was bullied while trick or treating as a kid:

Bombing so hard, tryna Milk all my Duds.

Spooked wearing a sheet, fell down, got covered in some mud.

Tricked on halloween, my treats got stolen at the park.

Took some big Ls, now you won’t see me on the charts.

[areislol]

The morning after

►— pairings. genshin men x gn! creator! reader

►— warnings. some of the characters get clingy really quickly.

►— synopsis. albedo created a machine where it would bring back their creator, who was stuck in another world, back to where they belong. but instead of bringing you here to them, it brought them to where you were.

►— a/n. RAGGHH i was having so much trouble just trying to figure out the title 😭 i hope you guys enjoy this 🩷 I’m very sorry for the lack of action or if it’s simple.. next chapter will be more fun for you guys I hope 🙏🏻

►— wordcount. 4.2k

✧ part one | ✧ part two | ✧ part three | ✧ part four | ✧ part five | more tba.. NAVIGATION

recommended to listen to: needy - ariana grande or circles - post malone

The next morning, you awoke to Childe’s hand slapped over the side of your face, snoring quite loudly. Groaning, you pushed his hand away and yawned, opening your eyes groggily.

You managed to sit up on the bed and rubbed your eyes, looking around you could see multiple men standing around in your room, Thoma and Kazuha looking out your window, admiring the view, while the others were looking around your room and pointing at the unfamiliar objects lying about your floor and talking amongst one another about what it could be.

��Hey.. see that thing right there on the floor? Do you think that could be used to whack a Hilichurl?”

“… Itto I doubt something as small, petite and cute looking would be used to hit a Hilichurl..” Zhongli heaved a great sigh from Itto’s stupidity (he couldn’t say that though) and pinched his nose bridge from disappointment.

It was a pink, light wand with a red lollipop at the top with a lid covering it. It was candy… not a weapon you can use against Hilichurls.

You could feel your heart skip a beat because ?! Why were all of these guys in your room?! But after remembering what had happened last night, you calmed down.

Right.. that happened.

Suddenly, you felt Childe cling to your side, burying his head into your abdomen as his arms wrapped around your waist. “Mmm..”

You were too tired to even fuss about why he was being so close to you so you decided to just ignore him and his actions. While stretching your arms and yawning, everybody turned their head to look at you.

“Oh, uh.. good morning everybody?” You said, stopping mid-stretch, almost subconsciously shrinking from their gazes.

A collective “good morning” could be heard from everyone as Neuvillette and Cyno walked towards the edge of your bed and started to question if you slept well or not (you did because it was warm), complaining about how when they woke up they found Childe snuggling close to your side and being so clingy towards you.

(Why were they complaining? Easy answer, they were jealous is what. They would rather bury their heads in the sand than ever admit it.)

Nodding your head slowly, you smiled sheepishly and waved your hand at them. “It’s all good, don’t worry about Childe he’s just.. maybe he just likes to hug people?”

Cyno glared at Childe and let out a sigh before nodding his head. “Sure..”

Neuvillette offered his hand for you to take—giving you a gentle smile. “I’m glad you slept well, Y/n. Shall we prepare you breakfast?”

You took his hands and thought about his offer before nodding, offering him a grateful smile. “That would be nice.. but maybe once I’m done getting ready because I’m not sure if you guys are familiar with how things work.”

Neuvillette gave you a simple nod and once you hopped off the bed and let go of his hands you made your way to the bathroom, slipping on your slippers as Kaveh and Xiao with a few others followed you into your bathroom.

It wasn’t so different to theirs but it looked more.. modern for sure. “It looks so.. white and grey. Oh wow! What is this stuff on the wall..?”

Kaveh pointed to the strange object stuck on the wall. It was a toothbrush holder.

“Oh, that? That’s a toothbrush holder, it holds toothbrushes... I mainly use it for my friends if they ever come over.”

Kaveh and Gorou nod their head. “Strange, but unique. I like it!” You smiled at them before turning around and began to brush your teeth before washing your face, all the while they (Kaveh, Xiao, Kazuha and Kaeya) watched you do your thing.

It was a bit awkward, to tell the truth. While you were doing your morning routine they were either watching you or looking around your bathroom.

After finishing everything you needed to do in the bathroom, you bent down in front of the sink and opened the cabinet, grabbing a few packs of toothbrushes and ripping them open before handing them to Kaveh, Xiao, Kazuha and Kaeya.

“Here, use these. I’ll have to go out and buy the rest as well..” you sighed, thinking about how much it would cost.

Making sure they grabbed one, you helped him apply toothpaste on their toothbrush and left them to do their thing while you stepped out of the bathroom and groaned.

Sleeping with Childe and Xiao wasn’t a bad idea but they squeezed you tight through the night. Especially Childe, he just kept on clinging onto you and your arm was sort of sore.

As you stepped foot into your room, you realised that everybody was gone, they probably were in your living room, and you also realised that Thoma was making your bed. When he saw you just standing there eyeing him he smiled shyly.

“Y/n! I decided to make your bed.. as you noticed. How do you like it?” Thoma questioned, patting your pillow down before standing beside there looking like.. a maid.

You smiled at him nervously and thanked him, “well, you didn’t have to do that but thank you, it actually looks pretty nice and neat!”

There was no reason to lie, the bed looked nice and clean. Your sheets were tucked under your pillows and everything looked so smooth and clean.. he even put your plushies aside on the wall!!

You couldn’t help but smile even more as you noticed him leaving your plushies on your bed. But you were snapped out of your thoughts when Thoma then spoke.

“Would you like breakfast now?” You hummed and nodded your head and walked out of your room with Thoma trailing right behind you. And as you moved closer to your living room you could hear the chattering of everyone.

You didn’t know why but just hearing everybody talking and chuckling in your room made your body relax for some odd reason. It made you feel good, it felt as though the burdens were lifted from your shoulders, how weird.

As you made your way through your living room and into the kitchen, the others started to notice you and Thoma following behind you.

“Oh, Y/n! You’re finally here.” Heizou smiled, waving hello at you. You waved back at him and also included the others (even though they didn’t wave first.), smiling so tenderly and waving at them made their hearts flutter—feeling heat rushing to their cheeks.

“Mhm, I’ll make breakfast for you guys.. if there’s enough that is.” Everybody’s hearts nearly burst at your hospitality. Their creator.. offering to make them breakfast? Oh someone please catch them they might faint!

Aether jumped up from the couch and walked towards you and Thoma. “I’ll help!” He chirped, giving you and Thoma a warm smile to which you two returned. “Sure, thanks!”

As you three rummaged through the cabinets, trying to find anything to make breakfast—you eventually settled on pancakes (how did you have so many ingredients for 28 people? No clue.)

It was oddly comforting that you had people in your house let alone help you out with cooking. It felt nice nonetheless, to have company over, even if it was unexpected.

You let the others stare at your TV in awe, wondering what it was. “See that remote thing on the table? Yes, the one that’s black and has multiple colours on it, yup, press on the red one at the top left—yes! Good job, now uh watch whatever you want?”

You could hear the “oohs”’ and “aaahs” s of the men to which you chuckled softly. They acted like toddlers who just found something new in their life. It was adorable.

Breakfast was finally served after an hour or so, the voices of Itto and Childe could be heard thanking for breakfast being served now as they were starving.

“Oh finally!! I’ve been waiting for years for breakfast!” Childe groaned, almost drooling at the sight of the pancakes. “My stomach was growling so loudly..” Itto agreed.

“We could hear.” Could be heard from Dainsleif, Ayato and Capitano. They seemed to be fed up with him and his antics (so was everybody else.)

Everybody began to sit down in the most random spots, well, anywhere they could sit. Your table could only accompany only 8 people so the rest sat down near your coffee table in front of the TV and some eating at your desk.

They also made sure to sit away from people they didn’t want to sit next to. Diluc with the fatui (Capitano, Childe, Dottore and Pierro.), Wanderer from literally everyone else (he sat himself down in the corner like a little child), and Dainsleif from the archons—Zhongli and Venti.

It was a funny sight, to say the least, but, they had to do what they had to do, in this case—eat your pancakes.

As you and Thoma set down the plates and drizzled maple syrup on them, everybody said their thanks and picked up their utensils before digging in, some even moaning from how amazing it tasted.

“Enjoy your pancakes!” You happily said before standing behind the kitchen counter munching on your own pancakes beside Thoma. “Mhm.. it tastes so good! You and Aether are such good cooks!”

For Thoma hear you praise him and Aether made his cheeks flush red. He mumbled that it was “no problem” and quickly stuffed more pancakes into his mouth to hide his embarrassment, unbeknownst to the jealous glares coming from different directions of the room at him.

While you were still chewing and eating your pancakes, you were unaware of Ayato walking towards you and setting himself beside you.

“Y/n-“ Ayato began before you cut him off with a horrified yell. Turning to face Ayato you placed your hand on your chest and let out a sigh, everybody turned to look at you, their pancakes still half in their mouth as they stopped mid-eating.

“Ayato! You scared me..” you breathed, Ayato frowned and held his hand over his heart. “I didn’t mean to scare you, dear.. are you okay?”

You nodded your head and sighed. “It’s all good Ayato, I know you didn’t mean to.” You replied, giving him a reassuring smile to make sure he doesn’t feel bad, but he was already so.

“Did you need anything though? You must’ve come here for a reason..” Ayato nodded before averting eye contact with you, a noticeable pink blush appearing on his cheek.

He held his fist to his lips and cleared his throat. “Well.. this is embarrassing.. but I wanted to..” he stopped mid-sentence and looked back at you with a flustered face.

“Feed you.”

You stared at Ayato blankly, confused about whether or not you should be feeling happy or creeped out.. “wai- feed me?” Ayato nods. “Must I reiterate?”

Shaking your head “no” you looked down at your plate with pancakes, there was only a few left. Wanderer, Cyno, Dottore and Childe could feel their eyes twitching.

The sound of your fork clinking down onto the plate was heard and then your voice. “W-well.. I guess i don’t mind? I mean it’s a bit odd yes but why not? I haven’t been fed since I was a toddler.” You hummed.

Ayato’s lips curve upwards into a soft smile as he happily picked up your fork and stuck it in the cut pancake before placing his palm under your chin.

“Say aaaah~” You opened your mouth and said “aaaah” before chewing on the pancake, humming happily. Ayato slid the fork out of your mouth and smiled fondly at you. You were so adorable.

Thoma peeked his head out to look at Ayato feeding you, he was jealous. Why hadn’t he thought of feeling you before? It was too late now. The others stared at he fed you, suddenly a horde of men came running behind Ayato and chiming in, saying that they wanted to feed you too.

Goodness.. but it was fun to see them all fight to feed you, you had never gotten so much attention before so this was something and, to your shame, you enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, they could not take turns to feed you as that would be time consuming. They all went back to their spots and finished eating their food while sulking. After everyone had finished their food they set it inside your sink, Thoma offered to clean them and you thanked him.

You felt bad for Thoma just cleaning the dishes by himself but even when you offered to help him he shushed you with his finger pressed against your lips and told you it would be okay.

To even lay a finger on their grace without their consent was simply unforgiving. But for some reason being by your side made them so comfortable, as if you had been their friends since childhood. Was this the many affects you had on them?

After all of the dishes were washed and Thoma joined you all in the living room, you were sitting down on the couch sandwiched between Cyno and Al-haitham. Thoma noticed how majority of them looked tense and irritated, he eyed them down before seating himself down on the floor beside the others.

What Thoma had missed (somewhat as he could still hear the commotion from the other side) was everyone fighting to sit next to you. They were threatening each other and the taller and stronger men would be holding the smaller men, laughing at them.

Like how Capitano was holding Wanderer in his hand, chuckling as he found Wanderer spitting insults and threats at his face, funny. Which he did not like at all.

And in all honestly they could’ve started a war and use their powers if not for the fact that Childe had pointed out that Cyno and Al-haitham had sat themselves down by your side without them noticing.

Before anyone could’ve gotten hurt or broke anything in your house you calmed them down, telling them in a stern voice that if they broke anything you would never talk to them ever again, and it worked because they were all scared of that happening so they sat down obediently.

Wanderer and Lyney sat beside your legs and somewhat hugged them, almost scared that if they did you would scold them or find them creepy (they just wanted to be by your side).

“Hm.. what should we watch? Is there anything in particular you guys enjoy?” You hummed, skimming through Netflix, trying to find a movie for you guys to enjoy and bond over.

But there was a problem. Everybody had their preferences, some wanted horror while the others furiously shake their heads no. Some wanted rom-com but the others immediately shook their heads no.

“Oooh how about some action and adventure? Like Ant-man?” You said, pressing on the Ant-man movies as they read out the summary.

Everybody agreed on that movie and you weren’t sure if they agreed because you chose it or what.. they did choose it because you wanted it.

Not only that but it also sounded interesting. “Ant-man.. that sounds interesting! Why does he have to be an ant..? Why not a tiger or something?” Gorou questioned, looking up at you as he cocked his head to the side.

God.. he was so adorable!! Even if he didn’t mean to do the puppy-dog eyes, he still did them and he looked so squishable!

“Well I have no clue, but it sounds interesting doesn’t it? That’s why we should watch it!” The others surrounding you hummed in agreement. Standing up you walked towards the wall.

“Where are you going?”

“Turning off the lights to get into the mood.”

After turning off the lights Itto ooh’ed and got all giddy, to which wanderer gave the stank eye to him. You plopped down beside Cyno and Al-haitham and pressed the play button on the remote and set it down on the table in front of you.

During the movie there were tons of reactions, some were laughing from the comedic lines, some were nonchalant and unbothered by everything but they would sit up and lean forward a bit whenever the action would come on.

Some even teared up or straight out sobbed during the sad scenes (ahem you and Kaveh were crying and he just wanted to cling onto you crying but he was so far apart, Cyno and Al-haitham were unsure whether or not to comfort you but you weren’t in your sad feels just.. very emotional over the mother and daughter scene but they still pat you on your head and offered you tissues ahem ahem) while Xiao teared up a little bit but swiftly wiped it away before Zhongli could tease him.

Al-haitham, Dainsleif, Capitano, Pantalone and Diluc were nonchalant during the movie, only moving to get up to get more snacks. Lyney, Childe, Itto and Gorou were somewhat commenting on the movie and only got a smack from Dainsleif when they got loud.

Ayato, Kaeya, Kazuha and Freminet were all very invested in the story, plot and action. Even wincing and laughing when the characters did so too.

Baizhu was coughing every now and then with Neuvillette offering him water to drink to soothe his throat. Unfortunately many did not like how the dialogue would be interrupted by Baizhu’s coughing but before they could yell at him to shush, you would tell them to be quiet and that it wasn’t his fault—Baizhu was grateful for you and almost started to cough even more loudly from gratitude.

Aether, Heizou and Albedo were super into the action and fighting scenes. Occasionally scolding the characters in their head and planning what they would’ve done.

Venti asked you if you had any wine to offer him, you shook your head no telling him that you didn’t drink. Zhongli and Neuvillette’s urge to slap Venti was large but they thankfully restrained themselves.

Wriothesley was the only one that was watching everything going down, and always missing the part that was big in the plot. Reason why? He was watching you in awe of course, as your eyes widened and your mouth formed an “O” at an intense fighting scene or how you gasp or yelp at a jump scare.

But to tell the truth everybody was watching you like how Wriothesley was watching you.

And after one movie after another, you grabbed your phone and looked at the time, thinking you were going to see maybe 1 pm or somewhere in the afternoon, it read 8 pm.

“Already? How quick..” you mumbled under your breath, Cyno sneaked in a glance at your phone and realised it was already 8.

“Should we end the movies now? I mean I think everybody is getting a little tired now..” Cyno states, you peep your head forward and look at everybody on the floor and around you, they did seem sleepy.

“Mhm, okay, I’ll go get the guest bedroom ready and more mattresses.” You got up from the couch and began to get everything. “I’ll put everything away!” Thoma chimed in, standing up as well before putting everybody’s snacks and drinks away.

Cyno and Al-haitham got up, followed by Wanderer and Kaveh, and soon everybody got up, stretching their arms and yawning. “Geez, we watched for so long..” Childe mumbled, blinking his eyes tiredly at the TV.

Soon, Al-haitham began to walk towards your room hoping to find you there to which he did. “Y/n. Do you need any help?”

You turned around and smiled at Al-haitham sleepily. “Sure, I think I need a little help..” you mutter, holding the matter but higher to indicate you needed help with settling everything down.

Al-haitham nodded and walked towards you, grabbing the mattress and setting it down before grabbing the pillows and blanket, placing them on the mattress before glancing at you.

You seemed so tired after watching so many movies in the dark, it’s a wonder how you didn’t manage to fall asleep. Al-haitham sighs.

“Here, let me do everything okay? You get ready for bed and rest, alright?”

You glance up at him as he was much taller than you, you blink at him before furrowing your brows. “You sure? You don’t need any help at all?” Al-haitham shakes his head.

“Well alright then, thank you!” Smiling, you move towards your bathroom and as you stepped foot inside you closed the door shut.

While you were getting ready for bed, Al-haitham was making sure there were enough mattresses for everybody while keeping sure in mind that there was a guest bedroom as well.

You finished getting ready and opened the door, leaving the bathroom and found two mattresses down on the floor that could at least have two people on them. Al-haitham was truly kind and you wanted to reward him for doing something he didn’t have to do.

“You’re done? Well I finished everything so I’ll go call them to come inside. I’ll make sure they don’t make a fuss over who sleeps with you and sleeps on the floor.”

As Al-haitham was about to leave you grab ahold of his muscular arm. You didn’t expect it to be so muscular despite your eyes ogling at it since his release and arrival at your place.

“U-uhm, if you want.. since you’ve helped me how about you sleep in my bed? You don’t have to say yes! I just want to do something in return for you helping me.. I mean you really didn’t have to.”

Al-haitham stared down at you as you continued to hold onto his arm only to release your grip when you realise he wasn’t responding. “Oh, whoops my bad.”

You almost take his silence as a no when he speaks abruptly. “I.. thank you, I’ll take the offer, thank you again.” He replied softly, his eyes focused on you before averting eye contact and clearing his throat.

“I-I’ll Go get them now.” He mumbles, walking off into the living room to go grab them. You sighed and flopped down onto your neatly made bed.

All you were wearing was a tank top and shorts, it was what you normally wore and now that you were sharing a house with men it made you feel somewhat insecure, but still, the best thing in the world was feeling your bare skin touching the cold sheets.

You soon covered yourself with the covers and made yourself comfortable, grabbing one of your plushies and cuddling it, waiting for the men to come flooding in your room.

When are they going to com..

Just as you thought about them, they came through the door like a horde, all fighting over who was going to sleep next to you before Al-haitham stopped them from trampling over the mattresses with his hands like it was nothing.

“One at a time. And Y/n already said I was going to be sleeping next to her.” He said, almost in a smug tone like he was proud of you choosing him and decided to show it off.

“Okay and? There’s still one more slot!” Childe scoffed before Wanderer groaned. “Childe you literally slept with Y/n yesterday you ginger-“ “watch your mouth you purple mushroom head-“

Al-haitham sighed deeply and walked towards your bed, watching as you peeped your head to the side to see Childe and Wanderer yell insults at one another.

“Don’t mind those idiots.” Al-haitham states bluntly, sitting on the edge of the bed. Kazuha, Aether, Heizou and Ayato makes their way around everybody and begins to make themselves comfortable and take off a few of their article of clothings before lying down on the mattresses.

Finally, everybody sorted themselves out and figured out where they would sleep. With you blind choosing whoever would be the other people to sleep next to you which was Dainsleif.

Kaveh, Baizhu, Itto, Wanderer and the rest would be sleeping in the guest room much to their sadness. While Kazuha, Aether, Heizou, Ayato, Zhongli, and all that weren’t sleeping in the guest bedroom made their way to each mattress.

Everybody settled themselves on the mattresses and some even turned on the fan as they complained about it being too “hot”.

Dainsleif climbed onto the bed and took off his cape and a few other things. Al-haitham removed the covers and covered himself with the blanket.

You glanced over at Dainsleif and raised your brows. “I don’t want to be rude but aren’t you going to take off your mask?”

Dainsleif looks over at you before smiling softly, “well of course, I’ll remove it later on don’t worry. Just try and get some rest okay?” You hummed and sank down into the bed, sighing in content from being surrounded by the warmth of two very handsome men.

It’s silent and dark with only the sound of the softly humming fan. Everybody was awake and you knew it. You could hear the soft breathing of Al-haitham and Dainsleif coming from both sides of you. Soon, a thought and realisation pops in your mind.

“Wait, you guys didn’t go shower yet.. right?”

“…. Yeah..”

You sighed, knowing that you would probably have to go shopping tomorrow for clothes and sanitary products aaaand probably go broke.

> ✧ part three

note: THIS TOOK ME LIKE A COUPLE HOURS TO WRITE?? ALSO SPARE ME WITH ANYTHING RELATED TO GRAMMAR AND SPELLING I PROOF READ IT BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WAS TIRED SO.. ALSO. Im glad that you guys are enjoying this series so much 😭😭 honestly didn’t expect so many liking this so thank you guys so much!! I hope I continue to reach your expectations.

(also guys drop some suggestions or scenarios in my inbox that I could possibly add to the next chapters!)

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchijii @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls @goldenglow149 @rhwm @urlocalheizousimp @hex-vx @saltylovetale @backintomykpopphaseagain @toramune @oreo-ren @serenity-loves-red @flooofity @minteasketches @amaizverydum @lovelive-animequeen1029 @roseapov @yuraasia @chellazhef @fulldoves @kateybuggi @wanderingconstellations (if the usernames aren’t highlighted that’s because I can’t tag you so I’ll dm you when I post a new chapter!)

if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few

liking + following + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!!

[in-class-daydreams]

hihi!!! i love your sen au!!! <3 what taylor swift song describes gojo and mc's relationship?

@harvestingrice my beloved, here's an extensive list and I hope you're faring well

Dating/Married:

New Year's Day

Hold on to the memories / They will hold on to you

Please don't ever become a stranger / Whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes / I want your midnights / But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

Slut!

And if I'm gonna be drunk / Might as well be drunk in love

And I break down, then he's pullin' me in / In a world of boys, he's a gentleman

Got lovestruck, went straight to my head / Got lovesick, all over my bed

Divorced:

Exile (ft. Bon Iver)

And it took you five whole minutes / To pack us up and leave me with it

I think I've seen this film before / And I didn't like the ending

I can see you starin', honey Like he's just your understudy / Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

We always walked a very thin line / You didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out) / You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

Is it Over Now?

"Come here, " I whispered in your ear / In your dream as you passed out, baby

Fortnight (ft. Post Malone)

I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary

And I love you, it's ruining my life

Thought of callin' ya, but you won't pick up / 'Nother fortnight lost in America

~

The context for some of the ones in the Divorced category haven't been posted yet tehehe And can you tell which quotes are from reader's POV and which are from Gojo's?

If y'all want to hurt emotionally over SatoSugu, hop on over to harvestingrice's AO3, I recommend North [link] specifically but note it'll make your heart hurt real bad ("It is nauseating to be seventeen again.")

Thank you so much for the ask!

Click [here] to keep up with ex-husband Gojo and his (now estranged) family | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

[faroreskiss]

The Power of Understanding / Pilot (Part 1 v2)

Rewritten to v2 on: 2023/09/10

Cheat Sheet

Read of Ao3

Chapters: Pilot, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

Summary: You have been with the Chain for a while now, as their "scholar" and translator. You know everything about them, because you are from our world. But do *they *know the truth about how you can understand everyone?

A little introduction and world building concept for the Translator!Reader and her adventures. Check notes below for more info!

Non-linear fic.

AU fic, prior to TotK (instead of TotK, chain events happen).

Loosely based on the same reader in my NSFW fic, which is a very loose prequel to this one, and a work in progress.

More background info to come, if I feel like it :D

Warnings: None, maybe some cussing, but nothing is censored. SFW content.

Points of interest: This is your thing if you are into the mystery of chain being able to talk to each other. I am an actual trained linguist IRL, hence this HAD to be written!

You were daydreaming in the middle of the day about him again, amidst the smell of horse shit around you, when you're supposed to be finishing the work you have until the end of the day. Or until a new portal pops up to swallow you all to Goddess knows which Hyrule this time. Damned black-blooded monsters. At least, this gave you some break.

You, coming from our own era, have been acting as the scholar of the Chain for the last couple of years, while hopping from world to world with them. Knowing this, Malon put you to work on the books of the ranch, instead of letting you deal with the cows or the horses, even though you really didn’t have anything specific to do with maths. You thought she was being kind to you, not letting you deal with dirty ranch work, you guessed? She was a sweetheart either way.

You wanted to hang out with Twilight at the same time, so instead of using the little study Malon offered, you took the books and went down to the stables. You continued with your own stuff, while he was taking care of the horses.

There was also this little thing: you were the only one who understood every single one of them, (almost) very clearly, comparatively speaking. Sure they could communicate without you just as well, but due to a bunch of coincidences, you were the closest thing to the “translation magic”, if you can call it that. Maybe it was your Hoshi Sato gene*. Maybe it was the fact that you actually stayed with Link & Zelda in the post-Calamity world, around two years prior meeting the Chain**, maybe a bit of magic was also involved. Hylia works in mysterious ways! Did it almost cost you your brain? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely. 

Some Links, of course, understood each other better than the others, especially when their eras were, linguistically speaking, not that far. Time and Twilight were just fine. Legend and Hyrule were already able to understand each other, even a little bit better than Time and Twilight. Sky was a bit further away and had a “funny way of saying things” (according to the Sailor), almost gibberish, but when you listened and when he spoke slowly enough, you could at least get the gist of what he was trying to say. Wind, Time, and Warriors already knew each other from other “incidents” before the Chain, so they already had a way of communicating. 

These worlds also did not have many invasions and wars by “outsiders”, if you don’t count things like the Triforce War, Imprisoning War, Sealing War, and of course, anything that had to do with Demise, Ganon & co. and their horrible reincarnations. This meant, not a lot of language change.

In the end, what happened was that over the two years you have been together with the group, you helped them understand each other better. They adjusted their accents, and somehow warped the Hylian they speak in a way that the group would understand (and especially you), when the dialogue was still within the group. Of course, the Old Man would speak more “naturally” with Malon and vice versa, and some of the chain would adjust better (e.g. Twilight or Smithy) to the language of the era they are in. After some point, communication was not that much of a problem. You learnt it all in the end. 

Writing? 

Funny enough, Wild, Sky, and Twilight had similar scripts. Time and Wind had more similar writing systems. Wild, Wars, Legend, Time, and Rulie were also better at understanding the scripts of their respective eras. Overall, other than a couple of hiccups, most understood the others’ script to an extent. 

And then there was Wild. Also known as “The Cook” nowadays. The rest of the chain didn’t know you called them the Chain in your mind, and had your little nicknames for them. The nicknames most likely revealed a bit too much, and even though most of the secrets were out nowadays… You knew better than to risk more. You have caused enough damage, you would think sometimes. Even though you just couldn’t resist the urge. 

Anyway… Wild, his case and communication issues… were complicated.

According to the rest of the chain when you guys first met, whatever he was saying (and vice versa) was almost complete gibberish at first. Some terms and special names like “deku,” “korok,” “Hylia,” “Hyrule,” “rupee,” and such were still there, albeit with a different accent, and they helped, but it was not enough. You only found out later that it was kind of… your fault. 

In the end, he was also able to communicate with them just fine. Each Link had their own… language variation and accents, so to say. Some of them did not even have the difference enough to call it a “dialect” comparatively. As you thought, language change is a slow enough process, and with the lack of ‘conflicts’ (for lack of a better word) compared to your world, no wonder they were still somehow able to understand each other. . 

The Goddesses work in mysterious ways indeed.

How did it work for you, though? There was this little secret that… First time around, when you first dropped into Wild's Hyrule, “Hylian” was basically a weird mesh-up of English and Japanese to your ears, after the enchantment from the Great Fairies you have received. It was “so you could slowly understand and grasp and communicate”, you were told. 

Oh boy, it really felt like a genie granting you a wish, but in its own twisted way. You found that out later though. 

Second time around when you first met the rest of Links, though? The first enchantment… kind of messed everything up. Second time around, you actually ended up learning real Hylian. At least, the Hylian that was used as a lingua franca between you guys. 

Of course, some learning skill enchantment was definitely not out of the deal this time as well, thanks to Rulie & Time and their fairy friends, and of course the Smithy. But what a disaster it had been! Well, it wasn’t your fault that the first time the enchantment was made, nobody calculated that you would meet the Links from other eras.

You also naturally know the reason behind why Links in kind of irrelevant eras could decipher each other's texts, even when they didn’t understand the words all the time. Some were based on the Latin alphabet, and some were on Japanese kana. No way you could clearly explain it to them.

“Oh, by the way, you are made by a game company called Nintendo, and this guy is called Miyamoto…”

Yeah, no. That didn’t go well last time. Nobody even understood what you meant. 

That was a battle to fight for another day… Now, you need to focus on the budget of the Lon Lon Ranch. And not be distracted by Twilight’s statue.

________________

Notes:

Fanciest and most OP translator you will ever know. Star Trek Universe. 

"You” already spent three years with Link and Zelda in Wild’s world and were enchanted by the Great Fairies (with Zelda’s involvement) for the improvement of learning abilities.

[snowymountain]

I don’t post that much so I’m giving you guys something so your not to bored! This is a mini fic based off of @skyward-floored linked universeincredibles AU!

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“Warriors I have your punishment ready!” Time told him his voice stern, for once Warriors had actually done something that had made Time mad -which was rare all in its own- it was also rare that he broke the rules.

“I have one rule in this household! One!” Time scolded “ok I did it! what’s my punishment?” Warriors seemed annoyed by this because all he wanted to do was go upstairs and read, sure he was only 13 but he didn’t really have friends so books were his friends (sorry sky…)

“Ok no Tv, no phone and NO FRIENDS!” He shouted trying to make his point “oh.” The kid peeped out, “that’s it?” Sky asked not believing what he just heard. “Honey are you sure?” Malon questioned making sure she heard this. “Yes and that is final. Now go upstairs and think about what you did!”time told the tween “ yes I will go upstairs and face the consequences to my actions..” warriors fake cried.

He started to head upstairs then he heard “oh.. i forgot one more thing..” time began “yes?” Warriors said in a small voice”no books.” The world went quiet. “NO! Please anything but that! Anything but that!” He pleaded “you think I’m stupid.” Time walked off.

Later that day

“You made it!” Warriors exclaimed, “duh!” Sky said outside the window of warriors room.

“ it’s the least I could do, you did take the blame for me.” Sky dropped off the books and hopped out the window.

And with that warriors can never really be “grounded” because he can always bribe sky.



[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #70: 2019

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Lil Nas X, Post Malone and Swae Lee, Halsey, Billie Eilish, Post Malone, Marshmello, Ariana Grande, Khalid, Travis Scott, Jonas Brothers. End description]

More information about this blog here

And here we are with the final full decade featured on this blog. All throughout the 2010's retrospectives, we have been focusing a lot on how streaming and internet culture in general is shaping pop music. Now, that can be seen more than ever. Especially with the number one song this year, Lil Nas X's Old Town Road -- one of the first viral TikTok songs we'll be seeing. Old Town Road isn't just notable for how it took off through meme culture or how TikTok would soon come to be one of the main forces behind pop success, but the track was also controversial for how it blurred the lines between genres. Not through aesthetic or sound (which is nothing new), but through marketing. After reaching number nineteen on the Billboard Hot Country Songs chart, the magazine disqualified the song from counting as the genre. It should be mentioned that country circles have a history of drawing clear lines around what counts as their genre. There was a time when many country music tastemakers considered artists like Johnny Cash or John Denver to be too rock or pop for country. In fact during the 1975 CMAs, Charlie Rich burned John Denver's card after announcing him as the winner. And if it even needs to be said, this tension is even more noticeable when you factor race into the mix. Especially when you factor in how country being classified as a "white" genre was a marketing strategy less than a hundred years ago. Here's an article that went more in depth on the issue in response to the Old Town Road debate.

“Determining which chart a song lives on is an ongoing process that depends on a number of factors, most notably the song’s musical composition, but also how the song is marketed and promoted, the musical history of the artist, airplay the song receives, and how the song is platformed on streaming services.” - a representative from Billboard for Rolling Stone

Obviously, this is a lot of discourse and debate to drop onto a short TikTok meme song. But since this blog is essentially about how music is marketed, I couldn't not bring it up. Because Old Town Road wasn't controversial just because it was a song that used both country and rap influences (country had been incorporating more hip-hop production into their sound all decade), but it was largely controversial because Lil Nas X wasn't a country artist. This is a concept I touched on briefly during the rise of nu metal, but the definition of a genre can change depending on whether you're evaluating the sound as music or as marketing. And if you're in the world of marketing, the definition of "country music" is "music performed by country artists within the country music industry". But with the internet making it more possible than ever for people outside the industry to gain pop success, the lines are allowed to become even more blurred.

Unlike the start of the decade, the pop music now is much more low-key and moody. The popularity of trap lends well to a darker sound, and even pop tracks like Billie Eilish's Bad Guy and Ariana Grande's 7 Rings are taking influence from this production style. Lo-fi music and "bedroom pop" are now becoming the go-to sound. More production styles that encourage more individual, introspective listening. Music that sounds like it could have been produced by one person in their bedroom. And maybe the timing was just right. Because soon, most people would have to make their music out of their bedrooms.

See you all in 2020.

[r0binxx11]

Attack On Titan boys head-canons! <3

<modern>

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1. What artists/music they would listen to

Eren Jaegar: Eren without a doubt would listen to Destroy Lonely and that genre in general.

Armin Arlert: Armin would listen to softer music like MacDemarco. He would mostly listen to chill, cool and soothing music. I could also see him really liking love music.

Jean Kirschtein: Jean would listen to Kendrick Lamar and hip hop in general. He knows all the words to most of his songs as well.

Connie Springer: Connie I feel like would mostly listen to female rappers. His favorite artists would be Megan the Stallion or SZA. I feel like he would have a big crush on SZA for sure.

Levi Ackerman: Levi would be more into classical music or music that had a classical element to it. He wouldn’t really have a favorite composer either he would just listen to any song.

Erwin Smith: Erwin wouldn’t listen to music often but when he did he would for sure be into 70s-90s music. He would be like Levi in the way he wouldn’t have a favorite artist.

Reiner Braun: Reiner listens to a lot of motivation up beat music so i envision him liking rock and his favorite artist being Metallica because he’s basic. However, when he’s not working out, you can catch him listening to Beach House or Lana Del Ray. He often hid his liking of them to others.

Bertholdt Hoover: Bertholdt would listen to very indie music in my opinion. I cna see him being very into The Buttertones. He liked the feeling the songs gave him.

Zeke Jaegar: For some reason, I can’t imagine Zeke listening to music >< If he had to though it would be Sublime or anything like that.

Porco Galliard: Porco would definitely be into 80s-90s rock but he would also very much enjoy artists like Post Malone.

Colt Grice: Colt would listen to Mac Miller and Hers. He liked listening to music to vibe to. He loves to play both artists full blast.

2. What style of clothing they would wear

Eren Jaeger: Eren would most definitely be wearing cargo pants with straps and buckles on them. He would most likely also be wearing expensive sneakers such as brands like Nike or Steve Madden. He would probably wear oversized shirts along with regular silver chains and necklaces.

Armin Arlert: Armin would rock the soft boy aesthetic in my opinion. His wardrobe would be filled with different colored sweaters. Occasionally underneath the sweaters he’d have a button up shirt. He would also wear a lot of cardigans of multiple colors. As for his pants, they would be either corduroy pants or khaki pants. For shorts he would wear golf shorts/khaki shorts. As for his shoes, they would be vans low top or converse low top.

Jean Kirschtein: Jean would without a doubt dress like a basic white male in my opinion. He would always wear the branded clothing. I imagine him wearing a green nike hoodie a lot with either sweatpants or shorts. He would be like Eren in the aspect where he would wear the more expensive sneakers.

Connie Springer: Connie would wear tank tops or regular tshirts on a daily basis. I also see him wearing flannels a lot either tied around his waist or on him. I could also see him wearing Hawaiian shirts. As for pants, he’s got regular blue jeans or sweatpants. He occasionally wears beanies too. As for his shoes, Connie would wear timberlands or regular sneakers.

Levi Ackerman: Levi would wear regular long sleeve shirts that were either gray, black and navy blue. He would wear regular black pants usually with a black and silver belt. As for shoes he doesn’t really care at all. Since Levi is a germaphobe, he has house shoes and outside shoes. His house shoes were slippers haha and his outside shoes were regular sneakers. He likes to dress comfy and clean. I also think when it’s time to be formal, he’s very formal.

Erwin Smith: Erwin would definitely dress with a more formal style. He would wear button up shirts mostly white and dress pants usually black. Erwin would also wear brown dress shoes that were never dirty. He’d wear a golden watch at all times as well. Always well dressed definitely.

Reiner Braun: Reiner without a doubt is a gym rat. He’s constantly working out. I see him mostly wearing tank tops or regular t-shirt’s. When it gets colder out I think he would wear long sleeve muscle shirts too. Reiner mostly wears sweatpants too. I feel like he also wears a lot of oversized sweatshirts. As for shoes, I think he just has simple Nike or Adidas shoes that are just to his comfort.

Bertholdt Hoover: Bertholdt would definitely be wearing fandom t-shirts I think. He would wear regular basketball shorts or sweatpants. He would have on socks and sandals most of the time as well. Since he’s so tall he of course owns many oversized shirts and sweatshirts too!

Zeke Jaegar: Zeke would regularly wear simple khaki pants that were mostly a tan color. His torso fashion would range from tank tops to t-shirts to sweaters. I feel he would wear rings and bracelets as well. Zeke would either wear dress shoes or regular sneakers. He would really wear anything.

Porco Galliard: Porco’s wardrobe would consist of a lot of plain t-shirts and tank tops. He would always have a jacket on him too. I think he would wear regular cargo pants. As for his shoes, he would have on timberlands on or doc martens. I also see him wearing a watch or unique bracelets.

Colt Grice: Colt would have a ton of oversized shirts that were pastel colors. He would also like to wear shorts a lot which were pastel as well. He wears sandals or nikes pros as well. I see him having a couple of necklaces and bracelets but nothing too fancy.

3. How they would confess to you

Eren Jaeger: Eren would lowkey just outright say it casually. It would just be you two alone doing anything from walking around or cuddling, playing video games etc., and he would just outright say 'I love you' or something like that. On the outside he wouldn't seem nervous but on the inside he would be anxious that you wouldn't feel the same.

Armin Arlert: Armin would be so anxious to confess to you. He would be worried that he wasn’t good enough for you and he was very nervous of your response. He would plan out how he was going to confess to you and go over it again and again. He would definitely confess to you at a planned time in a romantic spot. Armin might even bring flowers or something like that.

Jean Kirschtein: Jean would act casual about it even though he clearly would be nervous. He would tell you exactly how he feels with all of his heart. He would do it verbally in a place where it would just be you two only.

Connie Springer: Connie thinks he’s already charming enough to pull anyone but not too cocky. When it comes to somebody he genuinely likes, his confession would be him being really scared and outright saying it. He would do it near the end of a hangout or possibly out of no where.

Levi Ackerman: Levi has lost so many people that he’s scared to loose you. He would often try to hide his emotions for you in his head and try to make them disappear. When he couldn’t make them disappear he would end up deciding to confess. He expected you to say no but when you said yes he couldn’t help but feel happiness. He would do it verbally and in a space that was quiet and comfortable.

Erwin Smith: Erwin would always give subtle hints that he liked you. He would confess to you in a formal manner. He had the perfect words to confess and he was so romantic with it. He would do it on a beautiful night or sunset. He’s a very romantic with it.

Reiner Braun: Reiner would be sort of uncoordinated with his confession. He would be all over the place with his blushing and lack of eye contact. He was scared of rejection and it took a lot of nerve for him to confess to you. He would do it in a random place as well.

Zeke Jaeger: Zeke has heavily hinted all of the time that he liked you. He would confess in a serious way and wanted an answer if you liked him back or not. He manifested the answer to be yes. He would confess and then immediately ask you on a date.

Bertholdt Hoover: Bertholdt, like Reiner, would be very nervous with a lot of blushing. He would maintain eye contact however he would end up stuttering a lot and then spitting it out. He would confess to you whilst you two were walking around or hanging out at one’s house.

Porco Galliard: Porco would try to act tough on the outside but would ultimately end up blushing. He would plan to confess at the end of a hangout when he would drop you off at your house. He’s always had a little bit of Tsundere in him and it was surprising that he confessed first.

Colt Grice: Colt would be extremely nervous and would want to do it over text. He would text you his confession and the next time you two were to hangout he would bring you flowers. He would be very nervous but it was a cute nervous.

4. How they would react if somebody hurt you (emotionally/verbally)

Eren Jaeger: Eren would most likely give the person the dirtiest most intimidating look ever. He would quickly remove you from the situation and stare them down as you two walked away. Later he would contact them and tell them off.

Armin Arlert: Armin would try to avoid any conflict with the other person and comfort you as much as possible. Armin would let you vent to let it out if you needed to. Like I said he would try to avoid conflict unless you wanted him to talk to the person.

Jean Kirschtein: Jean immediately take your side. He would step in front of you and tell of the person. Afterwards he would down grade the person who hurt you comparing both of you and how you were so much better.

Connie Springer: Connie would definitely start to go off on the person but then catch himself and try avoid the situation by leaving. He would try to change the subject and try to get you stuff to make you feel better.

Levi Ackerman: Levi would without a doubt make a couple threats. He would raise his voice a little bit as well. He would be angry that somebody would hurt you and quickly tell of the person. You being hurt would bother him the rest of the day and he just wanted you to be safe and happy.

Erwin Smith: Erwin would try to sort out the situation. After he tried he would help comfort you and let you cry on him if needed. Erwin would do whatever you asked to make you feel better.

Reiner Braun: Reiner would get extremely angry almost into a fight. Thoughts of you being hurt pissed him off so much. He would tell you that if anybody tried to hurt you again to tell him and he’ll take care of all of it.

Zeke Jaeger: Zeke would do the same as Levi kinda did. He would just give the person a intimidating scary stare but instead of raising his voice he would talk very calmly. Afterwards he would ask if you were okay and offer to do more about the situation.

Bertholdt Hoover: Bertholdt would be very upset that you got hurt and felt badly because he didn’t really know what to do. He would let you vent and let it out and offer to make you food or take you somewhere and just trying to do the bare minimum.

Porco Galliard: Porco would be pissed. He would make you go somewhere else while he went off on the person. He didn’t want anybody hurting you so he would make himself clear with the person by yelling in their face. Later he would still be pissed and would keep asking you if you wanted him to do anything more about it.

Colt Grice: Colt would try to handle the situation calmly and once he caught himself feeling more aggressive, he would exit the situation. He would calm down later and help you feel better by doing anything you asked.

5. Where they would take you on the first date

Eren Jaeger: Eren would want a more private date i feel like. He would want it to be a movie night at one of your houses. He would definitely buy the snacks and choose the movie. He would be very direct and put his arm around you but also respect boundaries.

Armin Arlert: Armin would have a picnic date. He would choose a peaceful quiet spot on a nice day. He would bring your favorite flavor cake along with your favorite fruits. He would hold your hand a lot and constantly admire your beauty.

Jean Kirschtein: Jean would take you out on a dinner date. He would choose a more fancy place but not too fancy. Afterwards he would walk around the city or town with you and just talk and bring you home making sure you’re safe.

Connie Spinger: Connie would take you out on a carnival date. Connie likes all rides except the zero gravity rides and it’s super embarrassing for him. He’d win you a plushie and buy you cotton candy/corn dogs or whatever you would want. Near the end he would offer to go on the ferris wheel for a very romantic ride to see the sunset.

Levi Ackerman: Levi would be very picky with where he would take you and would end up just asking you what you would wanna do. Wherever you would decide to go he would be fine with it. He would occasionally try to put his arm around you or hold your hand as well.

Erwin Smith: Erwin, like Jean, would take you on a romantic dinner date. He would take you to a very fine restaurant and make sure to get the best seat. He would also get the finest food and make sure everything went how you wanted it to go. No doubt, he would get you flowers and make sure they were your favs. He would ALWAYS make sure you get home safe.

Reiner Braun: Reiner is a very active person. Deep down he would wanna go on a gym date but he would come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be a good idea and settle for just a bowling night. Afterwards he would drive you home and made sure you made it inside.

Zeke Jaeger: Zeke would want to make you happy so he would take you on a shopping date. He’d take you to your favorite mall or place to shop and let you pick out things you wanted. He would help hold your bags and also hold your hand.

Bertholdt Hoover: Bertholdt would have a videogame date. When you would get to his house he would have a nice room set up with tons of pillows and blankets in front of a TV with two controllers. He would also get snacks and drinks for you. During the date you two would lightly cuddle while playing fighting games, racing games etc. At the end of the date he would ask to see you again and would watch you walk to your car/away.

Porco Galliard: Porco is more of a morning person so I could see him taking you out on a brunch date. He would take you to a cafe and pay for everything not even giving you the chance to offer. Afterwards, he would take you on a walk around town and look at very beautiful nature sights. He would hold your hand and try to act chill and cool but on the inside he was super flustered and in love.

Colt Grice: Colt would take you on a movie theatre date. He would make sure to get the best seats in the back and get a large popcorn for you two to share. Colt would wanna see a horror/thriller movie and get scared when there were jump scares. He was very embarrassed by it but you thought it was funny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading <3

I’ll be making one of these but for the girls sometime soon !!

//Let me know if I should do another one of the boys !! ^_^\\

[lemonxdaisybby]

BTW!!! Do you have any hcs for the music tastes of Ichigang or just anyone from RGG in general? Maybe even a bunch of music artists/tracks they would likely love?

Hello! 💕 I actually love this ask so much - some of the Ichigang were quite easy to match to music tastes, and then the others have had me pure stumped and going through my entire playlist for ideas!

Ichiban:

Ichi likely listens to a bit of everything. Like he is so open and accepting of shit, it would probably extend to music too. However, I can mainly see him listening to bands/artists such as Blink-182, Bowling for Soup, The Offspring and Foo Fighters. Also, Babymetal? It would confuse him at first because they look so adorable, but he’d vibe so hard to Babymetal.

Nanba:

Isn’t a huge fan of music, and he doesn’t actually listen to it often, if at all. He probably could appreciate some classical music though that he can chill out to. Maybe listens to blues too?

Adachi:

I mentioned it in a post a few days ago, but classic rock and classic pop rock would be his vibe. Like Aerosmith, Queen, Toto, Def Leppard and Kiss. Def Leppard’s ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’ brings out everyone’s inner stripper, and drunk Adachi is no different.

Saeko:

We got ourselves a pop girly here. With her working in a bar/club, she’d be pretty up to date on music. Probably listens to artists like Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, Dua Lipa and also Skott. Probably has music on in her apartment constantly, but it’s pretty quiet, like background noise.

Seonhee:

I can see her listening to more alternative or indie pop music, like Grimes, Melanie Martinez and Mitski. Probably another one who doesn’t actually listen to music that often though. She just never seems to have the time.

Joon-Gi:

Possibly a bit of an emo? Likes powerful, angsty rock music that he can also work out to. Probably into bands like Skillet, Three Days Grace, and Of Mice & Men.

Zhao:

Feel like this one is obvious, but cool guy Zhao would be into rap/hip hop, sometimes mixed with pop. He’d listen to artists such as Post Malone, Drake and Dave.

[rabbitechoes]

wow, very slow news week right guys? oh well, at least it was a pretty eventful week for new music! i kid, i'm exhausted on both fronts. there were plenty of great tracks released this week and plenty of new projects announced that i'm incredibly excited about. here are my thoughts on some of the most noteworthy tracks that dropped this week!!!

to see last week's post, click here!!! also feel free to follow me on rate your music and twitter <3

"Le Risque" - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ featured on Flight b741 (not yet released) ◇ genres: boogie rock, glam rock

Eclectic and busy rockers King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard have returned with a new single that sees them diving back into their boogie shoes. It's fun and it has a silliness to it that makes it hard to hate. This groovy instrumentation paired with the misanthropic lyricism is pretty cool too. This song also features the band's drummer, Michael Cavenaugh, on vocal duties for the most part and he holds his own very well. Adds a bit of a different flavor to it. I'm still playing catch-up with this band - I still need to listen to their stuff from the last few years - but I'm looking forward to take a flight on Flight b741!!!

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"The Answers to the Questions" - Chrystabell & David Lynch

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ featured on Cellophane Memories (not yet released) ◇ genres: dream pop, trip hop, ambient pop

Chrystabell & David Lynch have returned with a new single leading up to their collab album coming in a few weeks. "The Answers to the Question" has that same atmospheric quality as the previous track, but it's a lot less desolate sounding. There's a bit of a trip hop flavor to it that freshens things up a lot. Chrystabell's layered vocals are haunting, they're as chilling as they are beautiful. The subtle lulls in the instrumentation are pretty signature in both Lynch and the late Angelo Badalamenti's style and I'm glad it's present here. I'm curious to see how this album will sound on the whole. I'm a massive David Lynch fan so obviously I'm excited, but I'm also hoping the pair aren't afraid to implement new sounds throughout the record. I don't want this to be a complete retread of the musical tropes Lynch and crew have played around with for decades. I'll probably still enjoy it, but I'll be a little disappointed.

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"Fortnight (Acoustic Version)" - Taylor Swift feat. Post Malone

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ genre: folk pop

The day after Billie Eilish overtook Taylor Swift as the 2nd most listened to artist on Spotify, God Queen Swift conveniently dumped one of the many exclusive alternate versions of a song from her most recent record onto streaming services everywhere. This has been a controversial marketing gimmick behind The Tortured Poets Department where Swift will release exclusive alternate editions of the album with an extra iPhone demo or acoustic version tacked on at the end. This has allowed her to game the charts ever since the album dropped. I'm not denying it's an incredibly successful record, it just feels scummy. Perhaps the most egregious example had to be when Charli xcx's album BRAT was geared to debut at number one in the UK, but before that could happen Swift released an exclusive version of her album for UK fans only. It all feels targeted. It's clear Swift and her team care about metrics and accolades, they'll do anything they can to get them even if it means obstructing the success of those around her.

Which, longwindedly, leads me back to this acoustic version of "Fortnight" which leaves me without much to say about the actual music. It's only here to boost her streaming numbers, because being 3rd most listened to artist in the world seemingly isn't enough! I wasn't a big fan of this song anyway and this acoustic version doesn't change that. It's hard not to be extremely cynical about this whole thing. This is music that feigns having a genuine heart, but it's really only a ploy for record-breaking chart success by any means necessary.

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"Key103" - Floating Points

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ featured on Cascade (not yet released) ◇ genre: progressive house

Sam Shepherd, Floating Points, has announced a new album coming later this year as well as this new single "Key103." This week I finally got around to listening to his album Crush from 2019 and I loved it. That blend of IDM with real instrumentation is just a match made in heaven. These new songs, however, see him leaning more into the dance and house side of things to very great effect. This is an absolute jam. It's punchy as hell and has a groove that just gets you. That glitchy bridge that segues into the synth switch-up is exhilarating as hell. I'm beginning to notice that nearly everything Shepherd touches is impeccably crafted and this track is no different. I'm super excited for Cascade.

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"Gold Coast" - Moses Sumney

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ featured on Sophcore (not yet released) ◇ genres: neo-soul, alternative r&b, alté

Moses Sumney is coming back with a new EP on the way in a few weeks and "Gold Coast" was released alongside that announcement. Sumney's work always has impeccable production and that's on display here as well. His vocals are heavenly, but I sometimes wish they had a bit more weight to them - luckily "Gold Coast" balances the heavy and light very well. He sounds fully in control here. I also love the little Latin guitar flourishes throughout, it really adds some nice depth to the track. Looking forward to see what else he has in store on this Sophcore EP.

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"She Rained Down" - This Is The Glasshouse

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ genres: indie rock, noise rock

To commemorate the one-year anniversary of As Small As Ants, This Is The Glasshouse has released this stripped-back noisy version of his song "She Rained Down." That record was one of my favorites from last year and even though at times it wore its influences on its sleeve, there was enough heart and craft behind it to outweigh that. His songwriting was also a big highlight and that shines through on this track in particular no matter if it's the album version or this one. The demo is very different, but I kinda love it. It's noisy and at times it reminds me of a lo-fi version of a Strokes song. Really, really digging this one and I'm anticipating whatever comes next from him.

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"Forever Young (Live at Seattle Centre Coliseum, Seattle, WA - February 9, 1974 (Afternoon))" - Bob Dylan & The Band

◇ released: July 9, 2024 ◇ featured on The 1974 Live Recordings (not yet released) ◇ genres: folk rock, singer-songwriter

Bob Dylan is releasing a 27-disc box set containing "every single surviving soundboard recording" of his and The Band's prolific early 1974 tour. This was the same tour that made up the Before the Flood album, one of my personal favorite Dylan live albums. This rendition of "Forever Young" from the tail-end of the tour is fine. I love Dylan, but I can't say I'm so much a Dylan nut that this kind of box set appeals to me. For archival purposes it's pretty cool and it's always a treat to hear Dylan and The Band make magic together - I just don't see myself sifting through over 29 hours of material looking for hidden gems.

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"Patterns" - Laura Marling

◇ released: July 10, 2024 ◇ featured on Patterns in Repeat (not yet released) ◇ genres: singer-songwriter, contemporary folk

Laura Marling has returned with this gorgeous new track and a new album on the way. "Patterns" is a simple, clean, and very pretty folk cut that just surrounds you. She says she wrote a lot of this album while adjusting to becoming a new parent and you can absolutely hear it. There's this serene existentialism to it all, like a reflection on not just your own life but also the new life that you have brought into the world. This track is simply gorgeous. Marling stated that each of her albums have acted as "time-stamped chapter[s] of [her] life" and also that she's approaching this new album with an entirely new perspective. I really loved her last album, Song for Our Daughter, and after hearing this new single I can't wait for Patterns in Repeat.

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"Image" - Magdalena Bay

◇ released: July 10, 2024 ◇ featured on Imaginal Disk (not yet released) ◇ genres: synthpop, dance-pop, chillwave, nu-disco

I had a feeling we were on the cusp of a new Magdalena Bay album and here we are!!! Imaginal Disk drops next month, but we're getting our second taste of the album in the form of "Image," an expectedly incredible synthpop cut that shows a pop duo at the top of their game. This has everything you want in a synthpop song. Arresting production, addictive hooks, and a palpable rhythm. The two verses are opposite each other and it adds to the song - and seemingly the album's unique concepts. There's this anxious feeling underneath it all that only reveals itself on repeat listens. This is without a doubt one of my most anticipated albums of the year now. I came to the realization, and hopefully it doesn't age like milk, that Magdalena Bay are the best pop act of the decade thus far. Nothing has disproven that for me yet!

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"Call It Love" - Nilüfer Yanya

◇ released: July 10, 2024 ◇ featured on My Method Actor (not yet released) ◇ genres: indie folk, singer-songwriter

I somehow missed a whole single and album announcement last month from Nilüfer Yanya, but I'm here now for this new single! "Call It Love" has her scaling things back while not sacrificing a good groove. It's a song Yanya says is about being able to "fully trust your instincts" - you can hear it. There's a conviction to every word she delivers here. The instrumentation is light, bar the hazy synth riffs, but Yanya is a very commanding presence. Can't wait to listen to this album in full.

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"Snl" - Mustafa

◇ released: July 11, 2024 ◇ featured on Dunya (not yet released) ◇ genres: folk pop, singer-songwriter

I really enjoyed Mustafa's debut album When Smoke Rises from a few years ago, but ever since then he's regrettably flew under my radar ... not anymore though. He has a new album on the way along with this new sinlge "Snl" which is just incredible. One of the prettiest songs I've heard all month, the acoustic guitar and subtle percussion are just beautiful. His vocals and lyrics all feel so seamlessly confessional. Like catching up with an old friend. Absolutely loving this track and I need to listen to his other recent singles sooner rather than later.

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"Woman's World" - Katy Perry

◇ released: July 11, 2024 ◇ featured on 143 (not yet released) ◇ genres: dance-pop, electropop

Katy Perry is lost. She's had nowhere to go for the longest time so she's retreating back to the formula that people knew her most fondly. She freshens things up here and there, making a song that at least sounds like it could've been made in 2021 or so. She's never ahead of the curve, she's simply standing there. "Woman's World" has the flair of one of her early pop hits, but it feels so hollow. The ironic neoliberal feminist aesthetics seeping over the music video and the song's sentiment - all the while being written and produced predominantly by men, most notoriously her old collaborator and alleged sexual abuser Dr. Luke. An attempt at irony that turns into something even more sinister and gross. Certainly is a "Woman's World" to one Katy Perry isn't it? This is empty slop and I feel sorry for anyone dumb enough to eat it up uncritically.

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"American Fever" - JOBA

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ featured on unnamed JOBA album (not yet released) ◇ genres: progressive pop, art rock, glam rock

2024 seems to be the year every former BROCKHAMPTON member starts pumping out their solo material. I can't say I've been crazy about all of their solo efforts as of late - despite me being a massive fan of the group when I was a teenager - but this new single from JOBA is a real treat. Totally unexpected sound, it feels almost like a glammed up Billy Joel piano rock track. He carries himself with so much swagger and confidence that really elevates "American Fever" to the next level. Both Kevin Abstract and Matt Champion have taken unexpected turns in their solo sound, but none match the sheer energy JOBA displays on this track. If this is a sign of where he goes from here, this upcoming project of his might be one you can't miss.

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"Pray For Me" - Mustard

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ featured on Faith of a Mustard Seed (not yet released) ◇ genres: drumless, spoken word, gospel

Mustard has been thrown properly into the limelight recently following the use of his beat on Kendrick Lamar's proverbial dancing over Drake's grave track, "Not Like Us." He also was featured at Lamar's Pop-Out Concert on Juneteenth and made a big impression there as well. He's gearing up for his own solo album soon and this new single "Pray For Me" isn't what you would expect from him at all. A 10-minute drumless track that has him reflecting on how far he's come. Mustard hasn't been an "unknown" by any means, but this really feels like a turning point for his career and he seems to recognize that too.

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"Death Valley High" - Orville Peck & Beck

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ featured on Stampede (not yet released) ◇ genres: alternative rock, country rock, rap rock

I was left disappointed by the first volume of Orville Peck's Stampede project and it's looking like I'm gonna be disappointed by the rest of it too. This new duet with Beck is a style clash in the worst way. It's like they're fighting for your attention, it's like mixing oil and water. It sounds like they're not trying to match each other's freak and instead trying to snuff each other's respective freaks out. This is a mess. I've been disappointed by Beck's new stuff for years now, but I don't want Peck to be dragged down by this any longer than he has to. Get Stampede over with ASAP.

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"Still What I'm Looking For" - Mac DeMarco & Ryan Paris

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genre: soft rock

When I was in high school, like a lot of weird indie kids, I became transfixed with Mac DeMarco. Having grown up a bit, I mostly look back at his stuff in a bit of a novel sense. His disappointing Here Comes the Cowboy album made me lose track of him a bit and his recent work hasn't wowed me that much at all when I have heard it. This new track, a collab with Ryan Paris, is a pleasant little number though. Sweet and to the point. It feels like DeMarco isn't too concerned with evolving his sound, he likes being a weird reclusive guy who pops up every now and then for a vibe. This doesn't make me excited for his new material, but hearing his guitar licks activated a very specific part of my brain that hasn't been activated in so long. I'm like a sleeper cell agent and my mission now is to re-listen to Salad Days and This Old Dog and become an insufferable indie guy once more.

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"고통없이 (Painless)" - Parannoul

◇ released: July 12, 2024 ◇ genres: shoegaze, noise pop

Korean shoegaze artist Parannoul has dropped yet another incredible single in the form of "Painless." "Gold River" from a few months ago was one of his strongest tracks to date and this song also deserves that distinction. He seems to be on the verge of something incredible. He's become an even more excellent songwriter, crafting melodies that stick out even under the waves of noise overtop it. His songs leap over any language barriers and just hit as close to home as possible. He's had an incredibly fruitful few years and he doesn't seem to be losing steam anytime soon. I adore this song and if there's a whole album full of songs like "Painless" and "Gold River," it could very well be his strongest album to date. Potentially one of the best of the decade so far, I'm serious. If you're not on the Parannoul train at this point, what are you waiting for?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ thanks for reading :3

psssst. i made a discord server called COSMIACORD ... if u wanna join and have fun, talk about music, play fortnite, or whatever here's the invite :3 https://discord.gg/rsHMenTU

[shade-pup-cub]

Hey guys!! So I decided to wait for Febwhump to come around, but I still wanted to post some old non-published and Ao3 published whumps this month.

Title: Breathe

Who: Time x Malon

CW: GSWs, mention of blood and injuries

It was one of those missions where Time would be gone for days on end for work. His profession wasn't something he talked about with his boys, but Malon knew. She knew the risks of him working for the royal family, especially since they had him and his two brothers doing their dirty work. There were countless times where he would text asking if the boys were asleep so he could get in without the boys seeing blood stained clothes, even if it wasn't his.

It was nights like tonight, storms rattling the house and every sound making Malon jump, that she wished her husband would retire. They had children, twelve children to be exact, that needed him. She needed him.

She tossed and turned in her cold, lonely bed. She unlocked her cell phone to double check every media and secret communication app she had to see if there was any news of him coming home. Nothing. The lightning struck when she laid her phone down and it made her gut twist more with anxiety.

Something was wrong. She could feel it.

Her phone rang, scaring her with a gasp. It was… Fierce… She swiped over to answer, frantically asking, "Fierce, is everything okay?"

"Malon, Sheik is headed your way. When she gets there, you need to get up to the hospital." His deep tone had an unusual distressed sound to it while talking to her.

"Where's Time, what happened?"

"It was a set up."

In the background, Malon could hear Time holler out in agonizing pain, then panting before trying to bite back the pain with a choken sob.

Dark was trying to get her husband to calm down. "It's gonna be okay, I promise. Hey, keep pressure, we are almost there. Stay with me, Time. Time? Time?! FIERCE, PUNCH IT!!" The phone call ended with the sound of their car accelerating.

Her heart nearly stopped. This wasn't happening. This isn't happening. She pulled the covers off and scrambled to grab clothes, shoes and her purse. Where are the damn keys?!

She made it to the kitchen, but halted in her tracks when she saw a single lamp light on in the living room. "What are you three doing up?" She didn’t mean to scold them, but it was two in the morning. Twilight, Warriors and Sky startled.

“Sorry.” Sky said first, face showing that he truly was.

Twilight looked down, combing his fingers through the long blonde locks of the one lying against his chest. “Neither of them could sleep.”

Malon looked over at Warriors, Wind curled up in his lap. Her sweet boys.

“They came crashing into our rooms when the storm blew in.” Wars explained.

“Why do you look like you are about to leave?” Twilight asked, eyeing his mother’s purse in hand.

“I- Your-” None of her words would form correctly.

Sky turned more to face her. “Mom, what’s wrong?”

Her other two older children started to get more worried when the tears welled up in her eye. Wars kept a level tone. “What happened?”

“Where’s Dad?” Twilight had a darker tone. It was much like Time's when he grew concerned.

She took a stuttered breath, trying desperately to sort through her thoughts. "Sheik will be here soon. No one leaves the house to go anywhere or do anything. I don't know the details, but there was an incident and I'm headed to the hospital to figure everything out."

"W-what are we supposed to tell the others?" Sky's voice broke.

Malon stroked his wavy hair, "Exactly what I just told you. Twi, I'll text you updates so keep your phone charged." Seeing headlights, she kissed them bye and rushed out the door, finally finding the keys. Sheik fully pulled up when she hopped into the truck.

The hospital seemed further than normal as the farm truck rumbled under her. Hitting lock, she ran for the ER doors.

"How can we help you?" The young lady at the check in station asked.

"My husband was rushed in not long ago. Last name Lon."

"Malon?" 

She turned and saw Fierce walking around the corner. "Fierce, how is he? Where is he? What happened?" Her arms shook as they wrapped around her brother-in-law.

"Come with me, we will have more privacy." He kept an arm around her shoulders as they walked to the second floor.

He sat her down before sitting across from her, keeping her hands in his. She couldn't tell his emotion since it was changing so fast on his face. "Fierce, I need to know, how bad is it?"

His brows pinched, still not looking at her. "It's worse than Termina. We at least knew what we were walking into then. This… this was planned and it is probably due to the fact that we three know too much. We were to be eliminated. Time insisted on taking point. He walked through the door we were told to go through to grab the asset, but the second he slipped in they were upon us. H-he took six shots: one in the shoulder, two in the chest, two to the gut and one grazed his neck."

Her world was crumbling with every word he said. This isn't happening.

Before she said anything to him or asked something, Dark emerged from the nearby bathroom. His skin looked raw from scrubbing it. She didn't need the thought or sight of her husband's blood caked on his skin and she mentally thanked him.

Dark slowly looked up, eyes locking onto her. Though his eyes were ruby red, she could tell he had been sobbing. "Dark-"

He landed on his knees at her feet. She pulled him close, pulling Fierce in too. She wept with them.

They were the only ones in the surgical waiting area, pacing and texting loved ones. It was nine in the morning when someone knocked on the entryway, making the three nearly have whiplash. They were on high alert. "Twi, what are you doing here?"

"We were all going crazy at home and figured being near you guys was a safer bet. Plus we wanted to be here for you."

"We?" She asked.

All her sons made their presence known. Wars was still holding toddler Wind. Legend and Hyrule were sticking close to each other per usual for the two biological brothers. The quintuplets: Green, Blue, Red, Vio and Shadow, were holding hands, all in different stages of tiredness. Wild was leaning against Sky, both had red rimmed eyes. Sheik was behind all of them.

Malon's chest squeezed around her aching heart. The boys loved their father, even if not all of them were biological. The love was returned whole heartedly. "Come on then, you boys come rest in here."

Mounds of pillows and blankets scattered across the floor and chairs to sleep. The mother looked at all her children, each already having gone through so much for such a young age.

Shadow was being held by Dark, those two were thick as thieves. The little one was overjoyed when he found out that Time was a triplet and one of them looked similar to him. Only difference was the hair color. Actually, all of the quintuplets were excited seeing Dark, Time and Fierce together the first time since they looked similar, but were still different in their own way.

Sky had a white and blue blanket wrapped around his shoulders, leaning into Fierce's side. Like Shadow, Sky couldn't wait to meet Fierce since he had never met anyone else with white eyes like himself. Fierce taught Sky to love his own self, white eyes and all.

Hyrule, Legend and Vio were in their own pile of blankets on the floor, snores coming from all three.

Wars, Wind, Green and Blue were in another pile of comfort. Wind hadn't let go of Warriors once.

Twilight and Wild, both biologically Malon and Time's sons, never played favorites to each other. Though when Wild needed the extra comfort, he always could be found in his brother's lap.

Malon's most emotionally driven son, Red, was asleep in her arms as she hummed a simple toon from her childhood. It helped the hours pass by.

It was another four hours until the doctor that her husband only trusted, came out to speak with the family. "Mrs. Lon?"

Malon stood and handed Red to Sheik who was just finishing telling some of the boys embarrassing stories of when Time was a child. "Yes, how is he? Is he going to be okay?"

"Maybe we should talk more privately, away from the ears of children." With that, Dark and Fierce also followed the doctor to a different room to talk of the situation at hand.

"Your husband suffered a great deal of blood loss and damage to a few vital organs, but we were able to repair them and do blood transfusions. His body is weak right now though and we had to keep him ventilated until his heart rate and blood pressure evens out. It may take a day or a week. But-" The doctor paused, seeming to be lost for words himself as he looked at the wife in front of him. "When he arrived, he hadn't been breathing for over ten minutes. Once a person gets to seven, there is a chance of brain damage."

“When will we know for sure?” She gripped a hand from both of her brother-in-laws, waiting for the punch.

“When he becomes stable.”

Dark spoke up, “But you said that could be a week away. Could his lungs become dependent on the machines?”

“They could.”

There’s the punch.

Malon started to feel dizzy, gripping the two people's hands tighter. She needed to sit or she was going to fall. "C-can we see him?"

The doctor gave a sympathetic smile. "He is in post op waiting to be taken to a room, so only one person is allowed back right now. We are setting him in the protected ICU room. Last thing anyone needs is royal guards storming in."

Malon knew the room he referred to. It was a hidden room that only specific people knew about.

Following the doctor to see Time, she had to remind herself that he was truly alive and to keep one foot in front of the other.

It was a full week before Time was stable. The idea to wake him had nearly gone out the window, but Malon had hope. They had tried once before to wake him, but he was non responsive to the questions asked. Though he laid so still in the hospital bed, his heart rate would spike, going into afib within seconds. 

In later tests they unfortunately had determined that his brain had suffered worse than expected and the only way to see if he would live any kind of life, was a breathing test.

"When we remove the hose, we will have to wait a couple of minutes to see if he will take a breath on his own." The doctor spoke softly to the four in the room.

Twi was headstrong like his father and refused to wait outside for an answer. "What if he doesn't?"

Malon could tell he was trying to be strong. Her boy didn't need to be carrying the burden of being the man of the household that he was clearly already trying to be. He didn't need to grow up that fast, he was only sixteen. He needed to know that he wasn't alone and that he didn't have to have the weight of his father's responsibilities on his shoulders.

"He will be on life support. What happens after that will be up to your mother, but all options will be clearly laid out so she will have an informed decision."

No one mentioned the stuttered breath taken by the teen. 

Malon held onto Time's hand like her life depended on it and in a way, it did. Time was her rock, her high ground, her safe place. He was the one that knew her deepest fear and anxieties. How to sooth her when life seemed to push them to their limits.

"Are you ready?"

This wasn't happening.

The doctor pulled off the hose and they waited.

"Breathe, Time, please just breathe…"

This isn't happening.

[urfavnegronerd]

Your argument is that he “fell off.” But considering he currently breaking records for a charting song proves other wise. Thats all I am saying.

tl;dr: i miss when jack harlow was on that dorky white-boy hip hop swag type shit, similar to mac miller, without being disrespectful

music brain rot because i'm teaching myself to learn how to produce music for college application purposes

okay yeah no i completely get that, he's doing really well music chart topping wise (is there an actual word for that idk), it just feels like the quality of music (from my standpoint, and i was also someone who could identify what pac and biggie sounded like before i knew wtf the alphabet was so i may full and well be biased) kinda declined. i feel like we watching a post malone type jawn all over again, like he kinda used the hip-hop sound to get recognition (?) and then kinda drifted into pop???? idk lovin on me is very shopping background music-y idk if that makes sense but that's just what it sounds like. like im saying mans occasionally drops something that has me like 'well... shit i guess white men CAN jump' (im sorry that was a bad joke but very much needed). like that whole luv is dro, already best friends, whats poppin era did him so good and i think that's an era that he needs to return to. like that specific sound did him so good like, he js has that dope-ass white boy swag that we ain't really seen since mac miller and boy do we need that back, and the sounds he was using (bass heavy type shit(i might be dragging it but yk what i mean), light synth kinda). and it could js be 100% that he was working a lot more w/ statik (hope he's doing better)

dont get me wrong i still stream the songs i like but he js isn't as appealing as he was w the records he's currently putting out. and its not to say that people shouldn't aim to express themselves artistically and experiment with who they are, its just (from my standpoint) that by going in the complete opposite direction rather than experimenting with different subgenres of hip hop (there's a lot, s/o my extra credit research paper) he lost a pretty big demographic of listeners

thats all :)

[thisaintascenereviews]

Rvshvd - It’s Rashad

Country music, as I’ve said a lot this year, has had a big year, whether it’s bigger artists in the genre coming out with stuff, or a lot of other artists making country albums, whether they’re pop, hip-hop, or even metalcore and alternative artists. Beyoncé, Post Malone, Shaboozey, Bilmuri, Yung Gravy, and Lakeview, the most recent artist I just talked about in that vein, are artists that put out country albums this year, but also have their feet in other genres. Lakeview, I guess, was always a country group, but they have their start in metalcore. Country is just that popular now, but we’ve got another country artist that takes other styles of music within their sound is in the form of Rvshvd. Signed to Sumerian, of all labels, he just put out a debut album, entitled It’s Rashad.

I decided to check it out, because he always came off as one of those guys like Shaboozey or Willie Jones, who loves all kinds of music and wanted to showcase that in his sound. I wish I liked this more, though, because this is some of the most bland, uninspired, and forgettable country I’ve heard all year. I used to listen to a lot of pop-country, but the genre has just become so watered down and bland that it’s hard to listen to now. Sometimes it’s good, but it’s been done to death. The thing with this album, however, is that a handful of songs are good, but it’s when Rvshvd does something interesting, although that’s once in awhile.

Most of this album is just bland pop-country, complete with cliched lyrics about drinking, women, small towns and all that stuff, but when he takes some hip-hop or hard-rock into the mix, it works sort of well. Danny Worsnop of Asking Alexandria, Spencer Charnas of Ice Nine Kills, and Phil Labonte of All That Remains is here, and despite not being a big fan of any of them, those songs are some of the most interesting. Hell, Paul Wall shows up here, and the song he’s on is one of the few that I really liked. Rvshvd has a good voice, although he sounds a lot like Luke Bryan, but it’s when he goes outside of his bland country sound that the album gets good.

I could forgive the album being boring if it was short, but my god, this album is 19 songs and 53 minutes. It’s way too long for its own good, and the good moments are really scattered. I might recommend this if you want a country album with some rock and hip-hop influence, but this is mainly a generic country album, unfortunately. I’ve just heard too much of this stuff to really care about it, I suppose, and if I was a bigger fan of the more straightforward sound of the genre, I’d like it, but this is just so boring. I’ve heard all of this before, just in a better way. It’s not outright awful, and it’s worth hearing if you want a decent country album, but there’s been a lot better this year.

[nickgerlich]

Going Up The Country

Music is another one of those highly contentious subjects that can quickly digress into argument. Our likes and dislikes are deeply personal, and reflect a lot about our personality, our upbringing, and the randomness of what resonates within.

I cut my teeth on rock music, and like most of my young male friends, the harder and louder, the better. It was probably hormonal rage, given that I was just entering adolescence. Black Sabbath and Deep Purple were my mainstays, and rarely would I ever drift toward—much less admit to liking—pop hits.

Fortunately, my tastes have matured and widened considerably through the last 50+ years, and I now listen to a wide variety. I guess you could say that certain musical genres were like Brussels Sprouts and asparagus. I acquired a taste for them.

I still cringe, though, when I think back to the musically dreadful late-70s, when the Bee Gees were stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive with an endless onslaught of disco records. They and many other artists were stealing all the air time, leaving rock and rollers wondering what hit them.

Some of them figured if they couldn’t beat them, they had better join them. Thus, we found the Rolling Stones, Rod Stewart, and others—gasp—releasing disco-infused songs. They were terrible, embarrassingly so. In an effort to show their versatility, they showed just how afraid they were of losing what they thought was theirs.

The trend of crossover artists continued into the 80s, when rap and hip-hop started exploding. I recall all too badly several white artists trying desperately to include a break-out rap in the middle of one of their pop songs. This was at a time when African-Americans dominated the genre, and, well, white guys trying to emulate the style looked rather foolish. I hear white men can’t jump, either.

Here we are today, and we see crossover artists once again making their statement, with a large group of pop and rap stars going country. One of the most notable among them is Beyoncé, who has seen her popularity escalate, while at the same time raising more than just a little ire among long-time country fans and others. How dare she pretend to be country and just drop in like that?

Then there’s Post Malone, the rapper who just released F-1 Trillion. I am listening to it right now as I write. Wow! What a great album. But I think Mr. Malone is not as likely to draw the disdain of country fans, because he went about things completely differently. Rather than pretty much flying solo like Beyonce did, he partnered with numerous established country stars for duets on the album.

Now that’s a way to endear yourself with the country crowd. If Luke, Blake, Lainey, Hank, Morgan, and the rest were willing to do this, then he must be legit.

I’ll be honest. I never liked Post Malone as a rapper. That’s just not my style of music. The album before this, though, marked his transition as he ventured into a more polished pop sound. And now I hear a twang in his delivery, urban poetry gone to the boondocks. Keep it classy, Post. This is good.

And you might be wondering what an aging rock and roller like me is doing fawning over a country album. While I never started out liking country per se, I did love country rock, as in the Eagles. I also grew up playing Southern Gospel on the piano at church, so I knew the Nashville Number System and could play in any key to match the range of the vocalist or choir.

Today, I love me some Texas Red Dirt Music. Why, just a week ago I saw Band of Heathens and West Texas Exiles in Lubbock, and have seen Blackberry Smoke—too country for rock and roll, too rock and roll for country—six times. Turn it up.

The question is how music listeners will react in the long run, though. Will Beyoncé retain her diva crown? Will Post Malone keep topping the charts? And will all this great new music cause Dr. Gerlich to take up line dancing?

The music we listen to is as much a consumer behavior matter as the kind of products we buy. We build our playlists with what we like, and tune in to satellite radio stations that closely match our interests. Everything else can just keep out.

Beyoncé and Post Malone certainly did not need the money, but they did want to hop on the country train. And 45 years ago, the Stones, Rod Stewart, and others did the same with disco. As much as I hated the latter, I’m OK with the former. Maybe it’s because I like country far more than disco.

I don’t listen to Black Sabbath and Deep Purple much these days. I still like their music, but I have grown far beyond just one item in my musical diet. Sabbath’s front man Ozzy Osbourne was a real trip to see back in ’79. Sadly, I never saw Deep Purple, and now their amazing keyboardist is dead.

All I know is I am enjoying this smorgasbord, and I hope that the country fans whose knickers are in a twist figure out how to lighten up a bit. I’m practically old enough to be Post Malone’s grandfather, but I’m digging what he’s doing. As long as people are humming a happy tune, regardless of who wrote it or performed it, what could go wrong?

Dr “Finer Things” Gerlich

Audio Blog

[earthtoharlow]

Bro Jack's name is still being brought up in this post Malone crap and I still don't know why and like it shows people don't know how to expand their ears and listen to new artists because you could tell Jack don't have a single bone in his body to switch to another genre besides rap, like I'm sorry I cannot see Jack in another genre besides rap I don't know if that's just me being a fan of him or just an observation in general because he has always stuck true to rap from what I seen

And people are saying oh post Malone always wanted to do country music ,then why didn't he start with country music why did he have to go to rap and slowly pivot his way to country music that is being a fucking culture vulture

The other white rappers like MGK switch to punk rock ,post switch to country, Kid Rock switch to Country and I just don't see a genre switch from Jack I don't know why people see that ,talking about" he still pending" what are you talking!!!! about

The only white rappers that I know of that stuck true to rap and hip hop is Paul Wall, Jack, Mac Miller and Em.

And if Jack really wanted to switch to a different genre he would’ve done it already, especially after how the public reacted to come home

[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #68: 2017

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Ed Sheeran, Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee, Bruno Mars, Kendrick Lamar, The Chainsmokers, Migos, The Chainsmokers, Sam Hunt, Imagine Dragons, Post Malone. End description]

More information about this blog here

It's easier more than ever to see the effects of streaming on the pop charts. As electropop and club music become a distant memory, the pop music of the late 2010's works better with individual listening. As mentioned before, streaming works better for album listening, much more than the iTunes era which encouraged the purchasing of individual songs (which was great for singles artists, but not necessarily for albums). Some artists were able to hack this system. For example, Drake's Views (featured on the previous poll) was notable for having 20 songs on its tracklist -- which is a lot for a pop release. Unlike the iTunes era or even the CD era before, longer albums with shorter songs flourish more in the streaming landscape.

Streaming also helped to continue blurring the line between genres and audiences. Without going too much into it (because this is a topic I could ramble on about endlessly), genres were not handed down to us from Mount Olympus or something. Genre is a tool of marketing, and the lines drawn between them can have a variety of cultural, racial, economic, gender, religious, and other variables between them. These lines were more prominent in previous years before streaming made it easier to access just about every kind of music at once. This is when we start to see the rise of a concept known as the "monogenre". In order to cater to as wide an audience as possible, everything starts to sound like everything. A little rock, a little indie, a little trap, a little tropical house, a little festival EDM. There were also those who criticized the streaming era in how it promotes a more "passive" listening style, since playlists and algorithms could continue playing ad infinitum without the listener needing to seek out new music themselves. While I certainly see the evidence of that on the charts, I don't think this tells the complete story.

As a less cynical counter-argument, streaming has made it easier for listeners to find music that otherwise wouldn't have been marketed to them. I believe that this could be one of the factors behind reggaeton finding a growing audience among English speakers. Obviously reggaeton did not originate this year. The roots of the genre can be traced back to the 1980's in Panama where it would later grow an even larger audience in Puerto Rico. The genre would grow in popularity in the States as well, especially in the early 2000's. But if you weren't paying attention to Spanish language music (and you didn't grow up in the Southwest), it was easy for mainstream audiences to miss it. Reggaeton includes influences from dancehall and hip-hop, so it makes sense that the genre would find a mainstream English-speaking audience when those two genres were also shaping pop music. Because Despacito wasn't just big for a reggaeton song. It wasn't even big for a Latin pop song. Despacito led to Daddy Yankee becoming the sixth most listened-to artist on Spotify in 2017, and led to an influx of Latin and reggaeton artists who were able to cross over without English language remixes. Billboard magazine has an article here about the "Despacito Effect".

[dankusner]

How Post Malone Made Himself at Home in Country Music

In 1994, the country singer Alan Jackson released a hit country song about country songs by non-country singers.

Instead of criticizing these new arrivals, he just chuckled. “The whole world’s gone country,” Jackson sang, and in the video he flashed a sly smile, as if he were wondering what took ’em so long.

Country music always seems to be swinging in and out of fashion, and thirty years later Jackson’s claim is truer than ever.

Taylor Swift, who was a country singer before she was a pop leviathan, remains perhaps the most beloved performer in the world.

Beyoncé topped the album chart with “Cowboy Carter,” which was both a tribute to country music and a critique of it; she “redefined a genre and reclaimed country music’s Black roots,” according to one fan, who also happens to be the Vice-President of the United States.

Shaboozey, a Nigerian American singer who appeared on “Cowboy Carter,” has been ubiquitous this summer with “A Bar Song (Tipsy),” a twangy update of a twenty-year-old hip-hop hit.

Lana Del Rey, one of the most beguiling voices in popular music, is promising to release her first country-inspired album, “Lasso,” next month.

“The music business,” she said, earlier this year, is “going country.”

But this year no one has gone country more wholeheartedly, or more successfully, than Post Malone, a face-tattooed former hip-hop star who seems to make fans and friends everywhere.

He appeared on both “Cowboy Carter” and the recent Taylor Swift album, “The Tortured Poets Department”—and, if you’re feeling brave, you could argue that on each album the Post Malone collaboration (respectively, “LEVII’S JEANS” and “Fortnight,” which topped the pop chart) is the highlight.

Post Malone has built himself a place near the top of the pop hierarchy: his 2018 single “Sunflower” is the fifth most popular song in the history of Spotify.

But his last album, “Austin,” met with a slightly more subdued reception: it was the first Post Malone album without a Top Ten hit.

He arrived in country music not as a critic or a reformer but as an eager fan and student.

This spring, he played covers of his favorite country songs at Stagecoach, the California country festival.

And earlier this month he celebrated the release of his new album, “F-1 Trillion,” with a performance at the Grand Ole Opry, the long-running country showcase, where one of the hosts, Kelly Sutton, described him as the best kind of guest.

“He’s making everybody feel so at home, because he feels so at home,” Sutton said.

The album hadn’t yet been released, but Post’s Nashville makeover already looked like a success: the lead single, a playful song called “I Had Some Help,” featuring Morgan Wallen, this era’s definitive country singer, had already made it to the top of both the pop chart and the country-radio chart—an important sign that country fans were not just willing to accept Post Malone but happy to listen to him, too.

Post Malone first emerged in 2015 with a single called “White Iverson,” a boastful hip-hop track (he was comparing himself to Allen Iverson, the legendarily self-assured basketball player) with a twist: when Post declared, in the opening verse, “I got me some braids, and I got me some hos,” he didn’t rap the lyrics so much as he moaned them.

That moaning voice, often enhanced with a quaver that can sound like a digital effect, helped him realize his hip-hop fantasies, but success only increased his sheepishness, and vice versa.

He carried himself like a walking question mark, shoulders hunched and eyebrows raised, as if he were apologizing for his own songs, or for the questionable decisions that often seem to inspire them.

Even before “F-1 Trillion,” Post was drifting away from the sounds and attitudes of hip-hop; “Austin,” his most melancholy album, included a song titled “Green Thumb,” which evoked the sort of psychedelic folk music that briefly flourished about a quarter of a century before he was born, in 1995.

When he introduced himself on the Opry stage, he used his given name, Austin Richard Post, and he dressed up a bit, in a snug blazer and a cream cowboy hat, although he sounded genuinely surprised when someone in the crowd told him he looked great.

“Oh! Thank you very much,” he said. “I was kind of going for, like, a Kmart George Strait.”

“F-1 Trillion” is long and shaggy, with eighteen songs, and nine more on the deluxe “Long Bed” edition; it is not a great album, but it is good fun, and sometimes more than that.

The title comes from a rowdy, bluesy collaboration with Hank Williams, Jr., in which both men brag about being low-rent high rollers, driving the most extravagant Ford F-series imaginable:

“My Lambo and my ammo’s all camo-green / Yeah, I got an F-1 Trillion limousine.”

Fifteen of the original eighteen songs feature guest singers, and Post is a solicitous host, happy to be upstaged.

“I Had Some Help,” the album’s hit single, is brisk and slick, carried along by Wallen’s distinctive rhythmic phrasing.

That song, like the rest of the album, was partly written and produced by Louis Bell, Post’s main musical partner, and by Ryan Vojtesak, also known as Charlie Handsome, a hip-hop producer who worked with Post early on, and is now one of Wallen’s key collaborators; while the whole world has been going country, country has been going hip-hop, at least a little bit.

When people complain that country music isn’t country music anymore, this is partly what they mean.

Post doesn’t seem inclined to choose between the various definitions of “country”: the album includes a jokey collaboration with the virtuoso bluegrass guitarist Billy Strings, a not-quite-love song with Dolly Parton, and an earnest power ballad featuring Jelly Roll, who has proved in the past few years that a face-tattooed white guy from the world of hip-hop can become a major presence on country radio.

(Perhaps Post was paying attention.)

In “Nosedive,” Lainey Wilson helps him turn the titular word into a musical analogy, hurtling down the scale and then pulling back up, away from trouble.

It all works best when Post isn’t laying it on too thick.

He is less convincing when he tries to resurrect the sound of Western swing, and more convincing when he teams up with HARDY to wrap a love song around a halfway romantic question: “Would you hide my gun?”

The biggest difference is the clarity: Post was formerly known for blurry songs that evoked blurry feelings, but country listeners typically expect intelligible lyrics, coherent narratives—and, often, deliciously corny concepts.

In “Guy for That,” Post and Luke Combs commiserate about how they can find someone to do just about anything (“I got a guy to sight in my rifle / My mama’s new boyfriend re-binds Bibles”), except make things right with a woman who has left.

No genre can be endlessly inclusive.

When the hosts at the Opry welcomed Post by noting that he grew up partly in Texas, and was “a true Southern gentleman,” they were acknowledging that a different singer, from a different place, with a different attitude, might not have been received so warmly.

Country music is a style—or, rather, a whole constellation of styles—but it is also an attitude, a community, a way of working, and a business model.

Some country-inspired performers find effective ways to kick against its conventions, but Post knows a good party when he sees one, and what he mainly wants to do is join in.

One of the bonus tracks, “Ain’t How It Ends,” is written from the perspective of a lovelorn guy who knows that his life has become a country cliché: “Hank and Johnny, Strait and Ronniе Dunn made all the rules / Thе girl gets gone, guy ties one on like he’s supposed to do.” It’s a sad song, but Post sounds happy enough to waste another night going with the flow.

Raising Cane’s buys site at old EDS campus

Chicken finger empire moving to bigger property, tripling footprint in Plano

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers plans to move to a bigger property in Plano, part of the former Electronic Data Systems campus helmed by the late billionaire H. Ross Perot Sr.

The property at 5320 Legacy Drive was sold to Raising Cane’s on Aug. 13.

The company is expected to move to the site, formerly held by an entity tied to State Farm Insurance Cos., in 2026.

Part of the EDS campus is still slated to become a life sciences center called the Texas Research Quarter.

It will be built into what some have called “the God Pod” at the former EDS headquarters — the main building.

Raising Cane’s will move into the property called the Campus at Legacy, which is near the main building.

The property was split up after EDS sold to Hewlett-Packard in 2008 for $13.9 billion.

Raising Cane’s 400,000-square-foot offices will more than triple the chicken chain’s footprint in Plano.

Plano City Council encouraged the deal by offering $6.16 million in economic development incentives, according to council documents.

Raising Cane’s commitment is to invest at least $20 million in renovations by the end of 2026, the documents show.

They’ll need the room:

Raising Cane’s goal is $10 billion in sales in just over five years, by 2030.

That’s a huge jump from the $1 billion sales mark it hit in 2018.

Raising Cane’s founder Todd Graves is a billionaire himself, having amassed a net worth of about $7 billion, according to Bloomberg.

That’s all from his quick-service restaurant that sells chicken, tangy sauce, crinkle-cut fries, Texas toast — and little else.

Graves has an aw shucks attitude about the company he started nearly 30 years ago near Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge.

“I think God made me good at chicken fingers to help me help people,” he said in 2023.

That year, he started A&E TV show Secret Sauce , where he talked to restaurateurs and celebrities about their business success stories.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, he starred on Cooking Channel show Restaurant Recovery , on which he gave $100,000 each to 10 restaurants.

Graves also bought a penthouse listed at $25 million on Dallas’ Knox Street.

He’s buddies with celebrities of all kinds, including Texas singer Post Malone.

A Dallas Cowboys- and Post Malone-themed Raising Cane’s opened in northwest Dallas in October.

Raising Cane’s expanded into Texas nearly 20 years ago.

Despite its Louisiana roots, its restaurant support office has been in Plano since 2009.

Co-CEO and chief operating officer AJ Kumaran’s next goal is for Raising Cane’s to operate 1,600 restaurants by 2030. It currently has more than 820 restaurants.

The company will remain at its current home at 6800 Bishop Road in Plano until 2026, then move to the new headquarters.

Post Malone’s Country Album Is Far Too Sluggish

Post Malone’s Country Album Has Too Much Baggage

Post Malone’s ascent to hip-hop stardom was a fast and jittery ride.

In short order, he progressed from making songs in his bedroom to whiffing conversations about cultural appropriation to churning out hits whose soaring hooks beat back accusations of inauthenticity and veiled intent to use rap as a step stool to further acclaim.

The beer-pong and Magic:

The Gathering enthusiast’s relatable explorations of heartbreak provided the juice for wide-ranging exploits, like playing a Hootie & the Blowfish song in a Pokémon Company promotional campaign, and guesting on Beyoncé and Taylor Swift albums.

But F-1 Trillion, Post Malone’s sixth album, realizes a dream he has been cradling all along.

“WHEN I TURN 30 I’M BECOMING A COUNTRY/FOLK SINGER,” he tweeted in 2015.

Trillion comes after a long soak in the scenery, evidenced in the now-29-year-old star’s leisurely passage of wearing Tyler Childers T-shirts to working with legends of the form.

The album is a hearty slab of slick pop-country that speaks to how Post works and to the freedom of movement enjoyed in the white-male pop milieu he represents.

Post’s foray into country benefits from a string of favorable confluences:

a strong year for the genre on the “Hot 100,” a mass influx of folk and Americana projects from artists not previously known for the stuff, and the restructuring of the formerly trap-happy bro-country into party rock.

Trillion barrels into a genre rich with stories of dramatic changes of heart.

“I wrote songs about sinning, evil women, pills, and cars,” Post reflects on “Right About You.”

“I wrote songs about drinking ’til you walkеd in and raised the bar / But who am I to write rock bottom from the highs you took me to?”

Workshopped with Post’s go-to producer and co-writer, Louis Bell, and Morgan Wallen collaborator Charlie Handsome (who worked on 2016’s Stoney), the new songs feature a murderers’ row of country songwriters who’ve crafted tracks for Jason Aldean, Kane Brown, and Luke Bryan, and a torrent of guest verses and co-writes from the likes of Luke Combs and Brad Paisley.

Nashville house style trumps the quirks in a catalogue that has stretched from emo rap to folk- and synth-pop.

Country is a vehicle for expressing a joy in the comfort of companionship;

a wonderful excuse to coax a weed anthem out of Chris Stapleton and a sex jam from Dolly Parton;

an outlet for a camo-cap-wearing Utah dad to wax domestic instead of counting money and problems.

But Post’s reverent take on pop country ends up inheriting the subgenre’s baggage.

Like Wallen’s albums, Trillion runs longer than the versatility on hand warrants.

The lyrics and melodic sensibilities feel so observant of their prospective radio format that you lose a sense of Post’s character.

It’s illuminating watching him adapt to the guidelines of another genre and make a beeline for the most mathematically marketable sound.

“I Had Some Help” is your quintessential up-tempo Hot Country Songs meteor, a rocker touting just enough fiddle and pedal steel to shush anxious program directors and awards juries.

If you quietly slid “Pour Me a Drink” co-star Blake Shelton into the driver’s seat for this album, you wouldn’t immediately notice the pen of a guy who had great chemistry with Migos.

You’d think, Blake sure loves God, Gwen, and guzzling brews.

The grit implied in Post Malone’s rearview clashes with neat, sunny sounds and resolutions such that you wonder why writers like Jason Isbell, who sings from experience about logging the distance between past and present selves, or Sturgill Simpson, whose career is a miraculous rebound from a military trajectory that didn’t pan out, weren’t brought to the roomy table of assisting personnel.

Post Malone knows his shit, so you have to suspect he made this album to kill two ducks with one 12-gauge, redesigning his day job to center the newfound stability in his personal life and taking a plunge he has always wanted to in the manner destined to make the most money.

F-1 Trillion: Long Bed, the quick-hit deluxe edition, tacks on nine more tracks to make an unwieldy 27 but improves the batting average by scaling down.

Ditching big-name guests and reassuring outcomes for a spell, Malone offers a glimpse of the wilier, weirder album he’s capable of delivering.

As with The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology, lifting the veil of borderline overproduction reveals a songwriter who doesn’t need slick, suffocating structure to resonate but also highlights the deliberateness of the choice to work with the gloss elsewhere.

The best genre exercises are buried the deepest.

“Killed a Man” is Post’s “Turn the Page”; the warbling, lascivious “Go to Hell” braids threads of love and faith more astutely than the main album’s aggressively chipper “Devil I’ve Been.”

Stick with this thing for 80 minutes, and it finally starts to feel like distinctly Texan country music, as “Who Needs You” pitches a western swing tune none of the pop artists sniffing around country would bother with.

But the starting lineup of Tim McGraw, Hank Williams Jr., Morgan Wallen, and Blake Shelton collabs — steely rock stompers that set a pace only broken by ballads that manage to feel just as busy as the louder songs — sticks the album with a sluggish momentum and sameness of sound that it struggles to break.

It does a disservice to gems like the gorgeous “Two Hearts,” the album’s 25th track and the rare moment Trillion eschews a lumbering arrangement.

Just as frustrating is the choice to pack the album out with well-known commodities.

As intentionally as Trillion focuses on CMT Hot 20 Countdown–core, it’s also notable that most personnel involved are white and already country-famous.

Why weren’t his other friends at the party?

Where were Swae Lee and 21 Savage?

In the world where Country Billy made a couple milli, and Solange, Beyoncé, and Lil Nas X have sparked cowboy-couture movements, it’s fascinating that Post Malone — who has spent the last five years making an increasingly pointed show of an ability to work in beat-based and acoustic situations, dropping songs with Youngboy Never Broke Again and Noah Kahan last year alone — has hatched such a regimented play.

But he wouldn’t be the only person cutting a slightly more demure public image in the name of red-state infiltration this year.

(Though he will likely be the only erstwhile hip-hop-chart mainstay dropping back-to-back songs with Morgan Wallen and Hank Williams Jr., who have both offended the Black communities, whose stars helped elevate Post to the notoriety required to secure these collaborations.)

Some people break chains, others are better at building links.

Trillion proves Post Malone’s mettle as a country-music superstar but suggests that he thinks he needs to mute certain aspects of his art to get a leg up in that field.

This is both a reasonable reaction for someone who learned to compartmentalize after his early love of Future and Bob Dylan songs sussed people but also a fulfillment of detractors’ early prophecies that he’d ditch rap the moment the wind shifted.

Cumbersome recent works from guests like Wallen, ERNEST, and HARDY are this album’s obvious forebears.

But it’s hard not to think of Cowboy Carter, the fearlessly imperfect pivot Post appeared on this year, where an R&B-pop shape-shifter splashed through several varied and colorful permutations of country music in roughly the same amount of time Trillion spends painting everything Solo-cup red.

Malone burrowed so deep into the mainstream-country songwriting machine that he came out with a sound that feels prefab and indistinct, and that’s surprising for someone whose best and worst work has always felt like a genuine extension of often diverging interests.

POP CULTURE

Post Malone, dents and all

Texas musician’s smashed-up F-150 of album fame is served with a side of Raising Cane’s sauce

The 1971 blue Ford F-150 sat in the parking lot of Raising Cane’s, its rusty hood crumpled up like a tin can.

Velvet ropes flanked the truck, announcing its celebrity status, and on a Wednesday afternoon in late August, a steady stream of visitors approached the vehicle — posing for photos, circling the perimeter to examine its angles, like a museum exhibit plopped down near the intersection of Interstate 35E and Northwest Highway.

“We made a day trip out of it,” said Larissa Perley, 26, who’d come from New Braunfels after hearing about the truck on Facebook.

She lightly bounced her baby girl in her arms as she explained how the F-150 got smashed up at a photo shoot in Mexico.

She’d seen a video: the blue Ford dangling by a crane over a lake only to plunge into the water, thus mangling its hood.

The moment of impact — the frozen instant when the chrome bumper gently kissed the glassy lake — became the cover of Post Malone’s sixth and latest album, F-1 Trillion .

Post Malone was the real reason people kept showing up.

Once a long-haired kid at Grapevine High School, the artist born Austin Post has become one of the world’s biggest musical acts, shape-shifting across hip-hop, pop and now country as he rings up No. 1 hits.

The blue Ford was part of a limited-time-only ticket giveaway to upcoming Post Malone concerts, and this location was a Post Malone-branded Raising Cane’s, a partnership launched last year with the Dallas Cowboys, who never shy away from cross-promotion.

For that matter, neither does Malone, who has also hawked Crocs, Bud Light and Flamin’ Hot Limón Doritos chips.

The Cowboys are a special love for the musician, however.

His father used to manage concessions for the team.

Inside the restaurant, lit with blue neon and flanked with memorabilia, an 18-year-old from New Zealand named Eleanor Robbins scribbled a note to Malone and slipped it inside a mail slot in the wall titled “Post 2 Post,” whose contents reportedly get delivered to the musician.

Robbins had been traveling around the States with a friend when the duo heard about the truck on TikTok and took an impromptu trip to Dallas.

“Worth it,” she said.

To the casual observer (that’s me), the Post Malone phenomenon has been a bit puzzling, a very 21st-century mix of face tattoos and Auto-Tune and day-drinking.

But visitors to the Raising Cane’s talked about how deeply they connected to his music.

“During a breakup, he was there for me,” said Alejandro Ojeda-Celis, 22, from Arlington, who first got hooked on the 2022 album Twelve Carat Toothache and arrived with his collectible “Magic: The Gathering” Post Malone card (another cross-promotion).

“I have a lot of emotional attachments to the song ‘I Fall Apart,’” said Blake Barnes, 21, referring to a lovelorn jam from Malone’s 2016 debut album, Stoney.

Barnes stopped to see the truck on his way home from work, and he was still wearing his black polo uniform from Texas Auto Value.

What kept coming up about Malone was not his flash or fame but his ordinary dude-ness.

His heart got broken.

He loved the Cowboys.

He fought depression.

He ate the chicken-finger box combo with two slices of Texas toast, no coleslaw and extra salt and pepper, at least that’s what Raising Cane’s menu sold as “the Posty Way.”

“He’s down-to-earth,” said Naarah Walton, 24, wearing a white Cowboys jersey.

“I feel like I grew up with him,” said her friend Tammy Nguyen, 22, wearing a blue Cowboys jersey.

Nguyen had been listening to Malone since he was a teen who uploaded his beats to SoundCloud.

Critics called him a one-hit wonder; now his 29-year-old face lorded over every corner of a Dallas restaurant.

People had come from far and wide not to see him, but to see a car he’d once used for an album cover — at least they could do so until Thursday, when the truck would be taken to the only other Post Malone-branded Raising Cane’s, near the musician’s home in Utah.

“I think it’s funny to think about all these people taking pictures around a broken truck,” said Walton, who’d first learned about the Ford F-150 on Instagram. She laughed.

“It’s even funnier that we came.”