#possibly only cuz my dad would have lost his shit if she had let them exorcise me

[lavender-town-radio]

I manage to tuck away some inconvient traumatic memories behind... association reminding me it happened, I guess. Which is why I only remember my church therapist wanted to perscribe me an exorcism as treatment when ai was a teenager sometimes, usually when Netflix mistakenly suggests horror movies about possession to me.

[ihatehannibal]

trauma dumping bc I can't afford therapy

thinking about how I didn't even say our dad was abusive to us out loud even once until I was like 21 (or think it, honestly), which was a full 7 years after he was out of our house for good. and when I did finally say it my sister replied with "no, we weren't abused, he had a temper but that isn't abuse" & then I internalized that for a few more years. I still have moments where I doubt my own perception of what happened & need a reality check, to see it all laid out so I can pretend it happened to someone else & be like "yeah okay of course it was abuse". I can't really put this anywhere else but here

I remember at least 2 occasions where my mom definitely thought my dad was going to kill us all. the first one was especially terrifying bc I was younger, he broke down a door (not just broke through thr lock, I mean he kicked the door until it splintered to pieces as if it had exploded) to get to where my mom had us all hidden, locked in her room. & when the banging of him kicking the door started she began frantically apologizing immediately through her tears & I sensed her fear & knew instinctively what she thought was about to happen. I was 10 at that time I think, my siblings were 8 & 6. my memory blacks out at his silhouette appearing in the threshold so I dunno what happened next but later said that he thought that /she/ was killing /us/ and that's why he broke down the door but that is the most ridiculous lie I've ever heard. he knows damn well she would never harm a hair on our heads.

the second occasion my mom thought he was going to kill us was when I was 14 and it was only a year after the family annihilation happened to our friends, which was committed by the father-who my mom & aunts had known since they were teenagers-so it made that seem much more real & plausible to us all. my (9 at the time) brother did something, I don't even remember but it was probably just normal child misbehaving, & it made my dad so mad that he started chasing him around the house screaming that he was going to kill him, my mom yelled for my brother to run as far away as possible so he left the house and ran down the street & my mom and sister were physically holding my dad back so that he couldn't go after him, but he pushed both of them to the ground and got outside. luckily my brother was out of sight by then, hiding in our neighbors bushes. I had called the cops but he was miraculously very calm when they arrived, as usual. after that my mom never let him live with us again & he went off and shacked up with his current wife before the divorce papers were even served. not even gonna get into how fucked up that whole situation was.

those are the big occasions but god there was so much in between. he was really jekyll & hyde, the second he lost his temper he became something very terrifying. he and my mom had screaming matches long into the night very often, usually about stuff he was doing to us (he believed in corporal punishment, not closed fist beatings or anything but spanking and hitting us with spatulas and such, and he was always full of rage when he did it so it hurt a lot & scared us) and she almost never let us be alone with him, another relative would always have to be there supervising.

then of course there was the religious shit, obviously, I've talked about it before. he told me from the time I was 4 or 5 that I shouldn't focus on what I wanted to be when I grow up cuz the world was going to end before I reached adulthood & I had to be a soldier for god in the apocalypse, which could happen at any moment so I had to be prepared. oh and that everyone i loved-my whole family except him-would be dragged to hell to be tortured for eternity, that my dead grandpa who I was very close to was already there for being a catholic rather than a fundie, & that I'd go to hell if I didn't listen to him. he said he was trying to save me. my mom had to find this out from my therapist when I was in first grade & she lost it. she has since told me that she would have left him right then if she didnt have a 3 kids under 7 at the time & no way of supporting us alone. another harmful thing he tried to force on us was of course the belief that gay people are broken & need to be fixed or they'll go to hell. as someone who realized I liked girls as a preteen that obviously was hard to hear. my brother is gay too & I know it's affected him badly.

I was a really troubled child & I guess it makes sense given the horrible anxiety he instilled in me plus I was seeing psychiatrists from as early as 5 for my ocd & depression. I got my autism dx (well, aspergers, since that was still a clinical term back then) around that time too. school was hellish bc people ostracized & mocked me for being a mute & wearing the same clothes every day due to sensory issues. I had no friends at all for a few years. I hit puberty really early & got groped by a few boys so that was just great. I was also the tallest person in my class until 7th grade when the boys started growing which while not traumatic kind of sucked bc I felt like a hulking giant when all I wanted to do was hide. I eventually learned to mask, forced myself to talk more & made friends with other unpopular girls at school. safety in numbers (by high school I stopped giving a shit about what anyone thought so that was good).

I was medicated for the first time at 12 when my intrusive thoughts got worse & I tried to kill myself, from then on they just kept adding more diagnoses and more pills from 12-16ish. bipolar, like my dad & uncle (who has since killed himself). I started using food as a coping mechanism around age 14 & developed various eating disorders that extend to this day, which probably also originated in my fathers fear that we would be fat like everyone on my mom's side & his control over our eating (he wouldn't even let me have cupcakes if someone brought them to school for a bday party, he told my teachers I had allergies that I don't have). I slit up my arms for awhile in my late teens and early 20s as a way to stop panic attacks. I dropped out of college. I became a drug addict. never had sex or a proper long term relationship & probably never will bc I don't like being emotionally or physically vulnerable. I know it has a lot to do with the way I was treated as a kid. I took a test once & it said I have an avoidant attachment style which is very accurate. apparently that happens when a child grows up not feeling safe with one or both parents.

reading this back I still immediately think "well others had it worse so maybe it wasn't REAL abuse. maybe I don't have C-PTSD." like no matter what my brain just won't accept my reality

[hot-girls-corner]

hurts so much that it's funny. - 15th August, 2023

good morning. i skipped two days of writing to be precise. why?

it's because too much was going on. 13th aug was fine

yesterday there was earthquake of around 5.2. the whole building got down, especially the ones living the upper part of the building cuz we wouldn't have much time to survive.

that was number 1 reason.

secondly, mom found out that i text people on messenger and also saw me sent out some pictures.

to be precise some VERY DECENT pictures, like just my face. and the chat history? FULLY DECENT DAMN NICE chat history. still i got like a "ultimate warning" from my parents and they also made me deactivate my acc and block the guys b4 doing that. i felt super bad for them. cuz

i'm ahanaf's only bff and he has no one else to talk about everything so openly… we were also planning to research on the scholarships and go together… i couldn't even tell him that my parents are making me do this… but i had to cutoff everything… he was inspired by me, he was one of the people who truly cared for me, and i was one of them for him. he's now gonna think i left him like his other friends too :(

on the other hand, tousif is also an introvert + he is a totally broken guy. domestic violence, no real friends, people stepping over him, what not? that guy found his safe place with me, i took care of him while he was depressed and got him out of it. i helped him continue his friendship with others. when no one was there to support him, i was there… he was very grateful to me, he also wanted me to share my pain, but i never did except once cuz i don't wanna hurt him. he didn't like it when i didn't share my pain. he sometimes wouldn't even believe that i was not in pain cuz he knows i'm too good at acting and hiding emotions. so blocking him and breaking contact like that is gonna go too harsh on him as i won't be returning for a few months now. and even when i do, i won't be able to talk to any boy or enter any group. only girls, that even of my own school… poor him… he's gonna think i ghosted him too :(

truly as a psychopath, it's not like i feel any pain to leave them, or any remorse after my parents' lecture. cuz according to them, i did so many "wrong" things, just by talking and sending the most decent pictures possible. but i know that's not the case, and the only thing is i shouldn't have sent pictures as he's not in my school. that's it. so no, i don't feel any regret.

also i didn't have to leave ANYTHING tbh. i think dad understands that, according to him (i think) i was ABOUT TO get on the wrong track but they came in just at the right time to stop me lol. that's why i don't think he thinks that i've done any other shit.

but let's talk about mom now 💀☕

she's thinking i've done some huge ass cyber crime by just talking to boys and i'm the most evil spoiled kid to ever exist and i haven't fixed myself after that incident. and that my whole life is gonna be ruined and blah blah blah what not 💀☕

like WHA- bro even my lil brother who is probably the most annoying kid on the planet in my opinion ALSO KNOWS THAT I AM FUCKING NICE NOW. i'm also the fav of two teachers and liked by other teachers (except that nurjahan shit, she's got personal problems with me cuz of my beauty 💅)

look. my life is ABSOLUTELY FINE. i just need to become a topper again. that's what's left. nothing else 🤷‍♀️

i have a job, i am pretty, i am popular, i am liked and on top of all, i'm charming and i am the CHARMER.

now if i become a topper again, then my life will be almost back on track. then my goal would be to be one of the toppers in Dhaka BOARD. although i know they won't be satisfied anyways but idc anymore. i'll just do what i'm satisfied with.

and i am definitely NOT satisfied with the results i've been getting, like bro wtf is this?

i can't just FAIL. i was THE topper once. now i've lost my ranking since class 9.

i have to make history now to be THE SENSATION.

EVERYONE will see me achieving EVERYTHING in life. i'll have a nice job, a good income, a great life, the best life partner 💅

like i'll show u guys what i'm worth bitches. anyone who underestimated me is gonna REGRET.

tomorrow is my exam, so if i didn't write all this and didn't vent out, i would be fucking hyperventilating starting from now till the day i get exam results 💀

now it feels lighter, at least i know my thoughts are expressed, maybe not to someone, but to a diary. to just write how i feel. because i have no one to talk to now. but that doesn't make me sad cuz i'm an introvert 🗿🗿🗿

i should start studying now, i got a ton to study. it's bengali exam anyways.

bai bai ^_^

---

i've been overhydrating for like 2 year now, and i think now the symptoms are finally noticeable to me and is actually affecting me, according to my weight i'm only supposed to drink a liter everyday, where i drink a MINIMUM of 4 liters. this has been happening for like 2 years now and the symptoms were so light i never even noticed, nowadays i drink even more than 6 liters i think and i'm totally having headaches, high blood pressure and everything. now i really need to survive this or this is gonna end up VERY serious. my head is kinda spinning even when i'm writing this…

---

it's been like 6 hours and i still feel the same… so light-headed, dizzy and tired… tomorrow is my exam… is this really what had to happen today??? i haven't even started studying 😭😭😭

if i don't recover today, my exam will NOT go as planned and i can't get good marks 😭💔

please Allah do something… i actually feel really bad for not being able to study the day before exam…

let me start working… i have no other choice… i can't just lay around all day and night… but i need to recover fast too… i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

---

ok so it's 8 pm now and i'm totally fine, full of energy (thanks to ben and skz)

now i can finish my work happily and study!

---

i suddenly feel so empty, as if there's a void in me that just sucked everything.

tomorrow is my first model test, so i should be very nervous. but i am not. i should be studying. but i am not. i should be stressed. but i am not. i should be focusing. but i am not.

i'm procrastinating, and i know it's bad and will make me end up like before, but for some reason i still can't start… only 30 minutes left till 12 am and i got no shit done.

uhhhhhh what do i do now?

meh lemme just fresh up and speedrun the readings…

---

bad night

[marcelinesghost13]

Hi Blog

So yesterday was a very hard day. I got a phone call when I was at work that my father had passed away. Naturally like always I was posted somewhere where I couldn't break away and I definitely was not allowed to be using my phone. I didn't give a shit I knew exactly what that phone call was especially when I saw the caller ID. I knew it was the nursing company calling to tell me what had happened to my father. The minute I heard those words come out of that phone part of my soul died. I could feel my heart crack or at least chip away. Definitely a painful experience. So when I was finally free I went and I called my brother that was definitely difficult he was clearly upset but he was trying to be strong but I could tell he wasn't okay. Big sisters know these things about their little brothers. I then finished my shift at work it went over to the retirement home.

There I saw my dad... Laying on his bed. A flood of emotions came out. I cried so hard the only other time I heard that hard is when I lost my grandparents. And that's just because they're the ones that pretty much raised me. I stayed by his side till the coroner came by to pick him up. But I'm not going to lie there is a part of it I just wanted to run away. It was difficult. I did help the coroner prepare my dad's body for transfer. That's just because I used to do that job when I was a teenager so I wanted to be a mortician. And then walked him out to the minivan and watched them take him away.

I then got on FB let the world know that one in the world's greatest fathers had just left this world. The other thing I did was supposed to statement that said this " if you truly care about me check up on me please". The reason why I posted that is because I live in a very dark place it's not a bad thing it's just where I am. I've gone out to the light and all that other Happy hippy bullshit and that's not who I am. Yes I want people to be positive and happy but I've got this beautiful dark side that lives within Me. The thing is I can fall down deeper rabbit hole and get lost. I will cut off all communication to everybody. I will spiral deeper and deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. After posting that I've only had two people check on me at least once. Yet I have a friend that got fired and he asked me to do the same thing. I write him every fucking day to see if he's doing okay or at least let him know that there's somebody in the world that gives a fuck about him. Is that overly kind more likely most friends as far as I know would do that or family. I know who really does care about me and I know who is just there. For the most part I am very much alone.

Now here is where the kicker is... When I say I'm alone I mean I'm stuck with the male self of me and the female self of me. Recently I noticed that the female self of me is in the driver's seat now. Which means I don't know how far down the rabbit hole I'll go. The male self of me would have fell all the way through to a deep depression possibly even suicidal. But this female version of me that has taken over due to the medication I don't know what direction she's going to go. And it doesn't scare me it excites me. It's different seeing the world through my true female self as I transition. A lot of male thoughts aren't there anymore. The depression is definitely gone it's not existent. But still nonetheless in my head and in my soul their lives a male and female version of me. And that's the only one that's actually talking and checking on me to be perfectly honest.

As far as other stuff going on I'm going to save the negativity for last it doesn't get to have its up front podium like I usually give it. I got a write up over on my work I definitely have a final now so I can't fuck up anymore. Which is fine I just sets me more on fire and makes me more of a wildcat. I definitely have a Sergeant that is making a lot of effort to get rid of some officers. LoL I am definitely one of those officers cuz I make him feel uncomfortable for being trans... LoL small minded fucking idiots doing small-minded fucking things. Thing is he's not the first try to get me fired the way he does. And all I'm going to do now is just make him look like a fucking moron. So many other people have tried desperately to get rid of me. But I'm like that annoying fucking cockroach that you see in your countertop in your kitchen. You think you killed me but you really did you just took out one of my brothers or sisters I'm still alive lol. So it's fine I'm going to try harder be better make him look stupid it's a fun game that I will play I'm not going to tell anybody about it cuz I don't tell people about my games. Especially when people start trying to get rid of me. It's definitely going to be fun.

Then I have to go to court on the 27th of November because I got attacked by a Trumper who does not like trans girls like me. I avoided him as much as possible and asked him very politely to leave me alone. When he was very aggressive and very literally in my face. I could feel his spit and breath on my face that is how close he was. Eventually he made a comment and me being a sarcastic bitch that I am I said something back to him. She didn't like my sarcastic response and try to throw a punch. Which didn't work out for him do the fact that it were fourth degree black belt. So his face hit the fucking tiled wall and put them in a arm bar with my knee pressed against the tailbone of his ass till security could show up. After that there's a big giant mess and a ton of security guards and the cop showed up and gave me some paperwork. Eventually the district attorney's office contacted me to let me know that I'm going to have to be a witness on the 27th because the guy who attacked me is going to be charged with a hate crime and assault and battery. So that should be interesting hopefully he'll get a year or two in jail for being a dick.

He's not the only person I've come across so far there is another person at my work that wants to confront me because I'm trans and they don't think it's right because it goes against God's law. My supervisors are aware of it I let them know but I know exactly who this person is they used to be an employee of mine when I was in a different apartment and I was a supervisor I had a fire for the same fucking reason.

As far as the negative Nancy goes which I'm talking about my spouse. She is still talking shit about my father even after he has passed away. She is still talking shit about everything that I do and gaslighting the shit out of me. So yeah I'm not much has changed on that lol. I definitely have let her know and been very clear that our marriage is over. She's a straight woman and I am a lesbian trans girl. How's that going to fucking work. She's not into women. So maybe at some point she'll get it through her head I just don't know when. And that's all I got to really say about the spouse because it's just a lot of negativity and a lot of fighting for no reason and there was a lot of different things that happened but I don't feel like spending the time and energy to relive those events I've already set them down the river and I have moved on.

On a positive note my daughter has reconnected with me and is very happy that I'm no longer with her mother. And we had a couple long conversations today that were very heartfelt. So I'm very excited to reconnect with my daughter again see how she's doing and hear about her day and just everything I'm glad she reached out again and I can be there for her.

So that's pretty much everything that's happened over the last couple weeks since I've blogged last. There's other stuff that has happened but starting to get tired I definitely need more sleep so I am ending this... May the adventure keep continuing.

110720240448

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

I want to see a dadnamara a ghost!ethan fluff scene. Now. /lh

Sooo this turned out a bit longer than expected, and more of a hurt comfort, but there is definitely fluff, don't worry

Word Count: 1063

One month.

It has been one month since Black Friday. One month since everything changed. One month since he had died. And it was with the realization of this anniversary that Ethan found himself curled up outside of Lex’s room at 2 am while everyone else was asleep, crying as quietly as he could. Now, he couldn’t really cry, considering the whole ghost thing, but it was as close as he could get. As he sat there crying, he mourned.

He mourned for the life he can never have, mourned for all the lives lost on Black Friday and after. And most strongly of all, he mourned his dad.

His dad that he had been avoiding for a week before Black Friday. He loved his dad, and had no idea how to tell him that he was going to move to California with Lex and Hannah. So, he dodged his dad. He didn’t like it, this made both him and his dad sad, although they both tried to hide it from the other. Ethan was just scared that if he spent too much time with his dad, Ethan would spill the news, and he was terrified his dad’s reaction would make him want to stay, and he knows he can’t abandon his girls.

One of the first groups out, on his behest, checked Tony Green’s Body Shop, only to find a dead Tony still under one of the cars being repaired.

His silent crying was interrupted by the sound of pacing footsteps in front of him. Ethan groaned; this happened every night, and it annoyed him every night, but tonight he really didn’t want to deal with this.

“Why do you do this every night? We’re in a sealed bunker, no one’s getting in or out without 5 different alarms going off, what’s the point?” Ethan moaned, trying not to let his voice shake too much.

“More out of habit, I suppose. And something to do, as well. There’s only so much you can do when everyone else is asleep,” a gruff voice responds.

“Well, go do it somewhere else.”

A moment of silence passes before Ethan picks his head up and turns toward the only other ghost in the bunker and wonders, “Do you miss it?”

The general turns around in surprise. “I’m sorry?”

“Do you miss being alive? Do you miss being able to touch things and people and being able to eat ‘n stuff? Is there anybody that you miss and haven’t seen since Black Friday?”

General Macnamara tugs at his hair a bit as he thinks. Lex had gotten him to stop using the official military pose (“Dude, the only people who can see you are teenagers, you can drop the whole military act thing”) but he still insisted on being referred to as General Macnamara, which Ethan found annoying.

“Yes, I suppose I do miss those things. Contact with anything has been rather difficult, but I make due. I do admit that not being seen by everyone here is frustrating, especially since one of you has to act as translator. And yes, I do miss someone. My husband, also in PEIP. He’s actually the one who said I shouldn’t go through the portal. Some days I wonder what would’ve happened if I had listened to him. But I saved the president from Wiggly and who knows what kind of torture, so I take some solace in that. And I was able to save Lex. I suppose you miss these things as well?”

Ethan nodded. “I miss being able to hug Lex and Hannah, and just the feeling of tangibility in general, ‘n I miss having an actual life, ‘n I miss my dad a lot, ‘n I feel bad ‘cuz-”

With each thing Ethan lists, it gets harder and harder to breathe, which shouldn’t be possible, he’s a ghost, right, ghosts can’t breathe, why can’t he breathe, why is the room spinning what-

“Hey, hey Ethan listen to me, listen to the sound of my voice, ok?”

Ethan knew that voice. It was the general guy, but when had he moved to sit right next to him?

“Tell me five things you can see.”

“Five things I can see, yeah. I, uh, the checkered floor, you, my shoes, uh shit, uh the door across from us, and the open game room.”

“Good, good, now give me four things you can hear.”

“Yeah, yeah, uh, your voice, my voice, the bathroom fan someone left on, and the ocean noises in Hannah’s room.”

“And three things you can touch?”

“The wall, the floor, and my jacket.” At this, Ethan’s breathing starts to even out, and he turns towards General Macnamara. “Thanks. How’d you know that’d work?”

“Lots of new recruits would get nervous and have panic attacks like that, and this would help them. Are you feeling better?”

Ethan nodded. He thought for a moment before asking, “So what’s PEIP like? Sounds like you deal with weird shit like this all the time.”

“Yeah, you could say that. We keep track of Black and White anomalies throughout Hatchetfield, along with keeping tabs on the witches in this town. The last recorded destructive witch was Willabella Muckwab, who was executed centuries ago, all recorded witches since then have all been passive.”

“Witches?”

“Yes, witches. Lex and Hannah are witches, along with one other individual in Hatchetfield. I’m not sure if she had survived Black Friday, but if she’s smart, she would’ve left already.”

Ethan scrunched up his nose at this. “Huh, so I guess that’s why Lex could bring me back, and why Hannah can hear that spider?”

“Exactly.”

“So how come Lex had no idea she could do that shit, but Hannah’s been hearing the spider for forever?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but it could have something to do with the fact that Hannah is much more powerful than Lex.”

“Weird. What else do you guys do?”

General Macnamara spent the rest of the evening talking about PEIP, including some things he probably wouldn't have told Ethan if they weren’t both ghosts. By the time General Macnamara’s watch let him know it was 6 am, Ethan was feeling much better and turned to him and said, “Thank you General Macnamara. This really helped.”

“Any time, son. And you can call me John,” he replied, smiling at Ethan before walking off.

[stressisakiller]

The Other Dursley (F.W.)

Pairing: Muggle Dursley x Fred Weasley

A/N: This was requested by and anon who asked for a muggle Dursley x Fred Weasley. It turned out longer than I expected but I hope that you like it.

Flashbacks are in italics. Fred lives AU

Warnings: None, Just fluff and like two curse words

Word count: 3.7k 

Part 2

It had been over a year since you had last seen Harry when you and your family had been sent away from your home. You had quickly left your parents home as soon as you turned eighteen and moved into your own flat, above the bakery where you currently worked. You loved working in a bakery, working with your hands, and creating amazing food, you couldn’t be happier. Scratch that you would be happier if you knew what had happened to Harry, you hadn’t heard from him since that fateful day.

You had everything packed in the car when your dad decided to tell your cousin Harry that you would not be leaving. That he didn’t believe that you were all in danger from some of, as your uncle put it, “his lot”. That this was in fact all a plot to get the house that you currently stood in. 

“Oh shove it, dad,” you said deciding to speak up, “Like Harry would want the house that you made feel like a prison, or did you forget that you literally put bars on his window?” He stared at you wide-eyed, you rarely ever spoke out against your parents, you preferred to stay in the background. You didn’t let him start speaking before you continued, “You may have treated him like a pebble in your shoe but even after all the shit that you put him through he still cares enough about you to make sure that you are safe. He wouldn’t lie about this certainly not to get this house from you. If Harry says that we are in danger then we are in danger so get your fat ass out that door into your car so we can get out of here.” Vernon’s face had turned cherry red and he stared at you with a look like a fish trying to breathe air.

 “I-wha-you…” He stopped trying to speak when the look you gave him showed that there was no room for debate so he turned on his heel and stomped out the door. Dudley paused and looked at Harry saying in a quiet voice 

“I never thought of you as a waste of space” To which Petunia lost her mind about how thoughtful Duddley was while you and Harry looked at each other. Rolling your eyes, you started shooing them towards the door. You turned towards Harry once you got to the doorway, and threw your arms around him,

 “Be safe, I love you, and please find me when this is all over.” You looked up at him with wet eyes, “Remember Harry, you deserve to be loved and you deserve happiness, hopefully, you will get that once this is all over.” He gave you a small sad smile before pulling you back into a tight hug. 

“You were the only person who loved me for most of my life and I will always love you for that, I’ll miss you and if I make it through this war alive I will do my very best to find you.” You took a step back-breaking out of the embrace, you gave him one last sad smile and walked out the door to join your parents and brother in the car. 

The owner of the bakery that you worked at had gone home for the day so you currently had the place to yourself. The owner was working towards having you help run the bakery, so she left you to run it by yourself often. Your ideas for new items were creative and she had no idea where you got the ideas for the looks of some of the goodies. You had gotten a couple of books from Harry over his years at Hogwarts that inspired you. You were currently in the back working on an idea for a new pastry when you heard the front bell ring.

“Just a second!” you called out, wiping your hands on your apron you walked towards the front counter, looking up as you walked through the doorway you froze. “Harry? Is that you?” you muttered not quite believing your eyes. 

“Hey cousin, I told you I’d find you.” That was all it took for you to run around the counter and throw your arms around his neck, you could see some new scars and he looked a little tired but he was alive and in front of you. “I have a favor to ask of you,” He stated, still hold you tightly in his hug, you looked up at him stepping away from the hug

 “Anything” you replied. He smiled

“I have someone I want you to meet,” He said turning, towards the door he called out “Ginny, you can come in now.” The door opened to reveal a beautiful redhead in overalls. Harry proceeded to introduce the two of you telling you that Ginny was, in fact, his girlfriend. You were overjoyed at the news and couldn’t wait to get to know her better. “I wanted you to meet her because you are my family and I want you to approve of the girl that I am in love with.” he told you, “With that being said I was hoping that you could join us for dinner tonight, I want you to meet the people that have been my family for the past couple of years when I wasn’t able to be around you.” You beamed up at him, 

“I would love that! I just have a couple of things to finish up here before I can go, would you like to come and sit in the back with me so that we can talk while I bake?” Nodding you all headed to the back and talked, you talked about everything that had happened in the past year. You couldn’t be happier, and you couldn’t wait to meet and thank the people that had loved Harry even when you weren’t able to be there for him. 

You were finally done with closing up the bakery so you brought Harry and Ginny upstairs to your flat so that you could get changed before meeting her family. You had decided that if you were going to make a good impression that you had to bring some food along with you as well. You finally decided on some cream puffs you had shaped like dragons and some custard tarts that had nutmeg sprinkled in the shape of fireworks on top. You finally decided to wear a cute flowy blouse and a pair of high waisted jeans with your converse, cute but not over the top. You placed your goodies into a bag and walked over to your cousin and his girlfriend. 

“Alright I’m ready,” you said, “sorry it took so long for me to finish up at the bakery.”

“It’s alright,” came the reply from Ginny, “we warned mom that we may not get back until a little later, so she should only just be finishing up dinner.” The way she spoke made you wonder how she could possibly be confident in getting there on time if you hadn’t even left the house yet. Harry saw your confusion and smiled.

 “Don’t worry cuz, we won’t be traveling there by car, we will be using floo powder, it’ll get us there much quicker.” He stated as if that cleared everything up. Instead of asking the obvious questions of, what on earth are you talking about and what is floo powder, you decided to just follow along and watched as he walked over to the fireplace. 

“Ok y/n just watch what Ginny does and then I’ll show you so that you can go before me.” You simply nodded knowing that you trusted Harry and he must have a plan. You watched as Ginny brought out a small bag and pulled some ash looking substance from it, she then handed it to harry before standing straight saying “the burrow” and throwing down the powder. In a puff of green smoke she vanished, you walked over to the fireplace, looked in then looked at harry.

 “So I guess that means that we are using magic to get there?” He chuckled at your reaction and nodded

 “That’s right, that was floo powder it allows you to travel between fireplaces in what is called the floo network, now it’s your turn.” You looked at him in concern 

“My turn?” 

“ Yes cuz, your turn, it’s very easy, you’re going to get in the fireplace, grab some of the powder then very clearly say, ‘The Burrow’ immediately throwing the powder down and you will be there in no time!” 

Following his instruction, you climbed into the fireplace with your goodies feeling a little stupid, and next thing you knew you were stumbling out of a completely different fireplace coughing. You tripped while falling out and were caught by a very tall, very good looking redhead.

“Watch it love, can’t have you falling over,” he stated smiling at you. You heard a whooshing sound behind you and turned in time to see harry calmly stepping out of the fireplace you had just vacated. He smiled when he saw Fred’s arm on you.

 “Great, you’re here!” Harry stated, “The first time I used Floo powder I ended up in the wrong place, so I’m glad to see that you didn’t make the same mistake.” You glared at him for a second, 

“You mean to tell me that I could have ended up in some random fireplace but you still had me do that?” The redhead whose arm was still on you laughed

“She’s got you there mate, why didn’t you just apparate?” Harry shrugged and you finally took a moment to look around you, it was a cozy house, you could see that the dishes in the sink were cleaning themselves, because why not, and the clock on the wall had faces on it, all of them currently pointing to a spot that simply said home. You were enchanted. You were quickly pulled out of your amazement by the man beside you calling out,

 “Oi, Harry, are you going to introduce us to this lovely lady or not?” You saw Harry blush and murmur a “sorry” before he walked over to you and started to introduce you to everyone.

“To start off the man that you stumbled into is Fred, he is one half of the twins and a real trickster, he and his brother own an amazing joke shop in Diagon Alley.” The man, who you now knew as Fred, bowed dramatically, and kissed you on the hand,

 “At your service,” he said smirking up at your blushing cheeks before he was pushed out of the way by someone who looked almost identical to him except that he was missing an ear, 

“Since Harry is doing a terrible job at it I’ll take the liberty to introduce myself, George Weasley at your service, I ear you are the only respectable Dursley.” He joked, getting a smack on the head from a shorter plump woman who hurried up to you 

“Molly Weasley, dear it is so wonderful to finally meet you, we have heard so much about you from Harry, I’m so glad he had someone to trust while he lived with your family. You must be hungry, come let us go to the table and you can meet everyone else there.” she rambled drawing you out of the crowd and towards the dinner table. You smiled and handed the desserts to her as you walked to the table, smiling softly at the way she tsked muttering something about not needing to bring anything and that they were just happy to have you here. You were soon introduced to everyone else as you sat at the table, Fred rushed over to take the spot next to you much to the chagrin of the other Weasleys. You smiled at their playfulness, it was so different than anything you and Harry had experienced as children, you could see why he loved it here so much. As the meal progressed you found yourself speaking more and more to the twin sitting next to you, you shared how different your experiences as twins were and he talked to you about the joke shop while you talked about working in the bakery. Fed couldn’t help but be fascinated by you, you were nothing like what he expected any of the Dursleys to be. You were sweet and funny and absolutely stunning. He could see some of the flour behind your ear that you had missed while getting ready and the spark in your eyes when you talked about baking. His admiration for you was cemented when Mrs. Weasley brought out your desserts. He just started at the tart and cream puff in front of him, could you be any more perfect? He was brought out of his thoughts by your voice,

 “Hey, Harry, want to tell them about the time we pranked Duddley into thinking he was a wizard?” Harry laughed loudly and began the story of how you worked together to find ways to make unexplainable things happen around Duddley to the point he ran crying to your parents because he thought that he was a weirdo like Harry. You had both gotten into the worst trouble of your lives that day. You thought Petunia might just kill the two of you but luckily it just involved being locked in your room with no supper for a week. It was so worth it. You didn’t notice how Fred looked at you the rest of the night but George and Harry did, and when they caught each other’s eyes they knew that they had to make a plan to get you together. 

Sadly the night ended and you had to head back to your flat, you did have work in the morning. Harry, was helping Molly clean so he called for “Freddie” to take you home. You saw the quick glare that Fred gave Harry, and wondered what he could mean by it, were you that bad of company. But you decided not to say anything, you had just met and there were a hundred reasons why Fred would glare at Harry. Fred walked to you and took your hand smiling said

 “If I’m the one taking you home then I am doing this my way. Think about your home very clearly in your mind.” you did as he asked leaning a little closer to him while you did, you heard a pop and felt your stomach flip over. “Perfect,” came a voice from above you, “We made it” You opened your eyes and were surprised to see that you were in your living room. You decided to make the most of having Fred here with you and asked if he would like to stay and have some hot chocolate. He agreed and you spent the next couple of hours sitting under a blanket on the couch drinking hot chocolate and laughing together. He finally had to leave around midnight since you had the morning shift the next day. Before leaving he gave your hand a quick kiss and muttered a soft thank you, you then heard a pop and he vanished. You smiled to yourself hoping that you would get to see more of the handsome redhead over the next few months. 

Your hopes were answered when in the morning you heard the front bell ding and looking up from your kneading saw the redhead that you had fallen asleep dreaming about the night before. You wiped your hands off and walked to the front, 

“And how sir, can I help you this morning?” you asked, putting on an over the top customer service voice.

 “Well,” Fred spoke with a slight smirk, “What I would really like is for you to go to dinner with me” You could see the nervousness behind his eyes as he spoke trying to look as confident as possible. You decided to tease him a little bit

“Are you asking me on a date, Fred Weasley?” He looks at you with thoughtful eyes,

 “Would you like it to be?” You tapped your chin as if you were thinking hard before replying with a smile, 

“I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you. I still have a couple of hours left in my shift. Would you like to join me in the back until my shift is over, I can show you how to make those custard tarts.” Without answering he marched over to you, grabbed your hand, and pulled you towards the back as you laughed at his behavior. He watched mesmerized as you worked, certain that there had to be some sort of magic involved for you to create the things you did. You assured him that you were in no way magical you just loved to bake. He joked with you about the flour that flew out of the mixer when you first turned it on, and you decided to get him back by throwing some in his face. Finally, around lunch the owner came in to relieve you and let you head home, she was very interested in the “handsome young man” that was helping you at the counter. You pulled Fred up with you to your apartment, the whole time he was making jokes about “not being that easy”, that he’s surprised at how forward you were and, “at least buy me dinner first love.” All of which you laughed at and shook your head letting him know that he would have to work a lot harder if he wanted to have sex with you anytime soon. Fred may have internalized that and thought to himself ‘challenge accepted.’ You left him in the living room as you cleaned up and changed into something cuter. He couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted in his stomach when you walked back in the living room giving him a smirk and a twirl at his wide eyes. 

After that first date he would come over to the bakery all the time, most of the time you would end up going up to your flat and having dinner before staying up and talking until it got late. He would then give you a kiss on the cheek and say goodbye before apparating back to his flat. It became a sort of pattern for the two of you until one day when he showed up at your flat on your day off. Marching into your house he stated that you would be going with him to see Diagon Alley,  “Come on love, time for you to see my world.” he said with a flourish, bringing his arm up for you to grasp like a gentleman you giggled at how cheesy he was and grabbed onto his outstretched arm. Next thing you know there was a pop and you were in front of a dirty looking pub. You looked over at Fred and raised your eyebrow, he smirked at your confusion, “Trust me, love, not everything is as it seems.” he then led you though a large pub to a back courtyard and tapping the bricks with his wand the wall parted showing you the world behind it. You couldn’t help but let your jaw drop as you saw Diagon Alley for the first time. Smiling at your reaction Fred dragged you passed all of the shops until you stopped in front of the one with a giant animatronic man that looked suspiciously like the man standing next to you.

“So I’m guessing this is yours?”

 “What gave it away?” he asked with a laugh

 “Maybe the giant moving version of you at the front” was your reply. He dragged you into the door and you felt yourself gasp, there was so much to look at you knew that you could be here for days just looking at everything. 

“Freddie it’s amazing” He proudly walked you through the shop showing you the greatest hits, you’d have time to look at everything else later, he insisted. You paused in front of the love potion, 

“Does this really make you fall in love with someone?” you asked intrigued.

 “More like deep infatuation, but it is supposed to smell like the things you love. Want to smell?” You took a whiff and were surprised that one of the things you smelled was similar to the man standing next to you. You of course didn’t make this fact known to him instead, deciding to keep this revelation to yourself. He finally pulled you upstairs to his flat to have tea and watch a movie. As the movie progressed you felt yourself get more and more sleepy. You felt Fred’s warmth next to you and the blanket that you were sharing smelled like him and all you could think about was how much you wanted to snuggle close to him and fall asleep. A few minutes later you finally gave in to your inner thoughts and cuddled close to him He simply smiled and wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer. The last thing you felt before falling asleep was a light kiss on your head and Fred Whispering “Good night my love.” In the morning you woke up in bed… funny you don’t remember going to bed. You quickly realized that it wasn’t your bed and that you were cuddled up to someone. You turned your head and noticed Fred fast sleep behind you, you smiled and flipped around so that you were facing him. He cracked open an eye and muttered “Mornin, love” in a voice still deep from sleep. It was then that you realized just how far you had fallen for the man in front of you. You looked into his eyes and saw a look on his face that you knew was mirrored on your own. You leaned in, feeling him doing the same, you paused a handsbreadth away, glancing up at his eyes you whispered “kiss me, please.” Immediately his lips were on yours, soft at first but getting more and more hungry, you nipped at his bottom lip and the moan that he let out was the most amazing sound you had ever heard. You finally pulled away because, air, and you were both beaming like idiots. “Guess this means your mine now, eh love?”

“Yeah,” you breathed out smiling, “I guess it does.” You chuckled “I wonder what Harry is going to say to this.” 

“Harry? I bet he and George had a bet going, all I’m wondering about is who won.”

[brideofcthulhu10]

The Lost Boys Find Out Their Fem!S/O is Pregnant [4/4]

SUBJECT WARNING: PHYSICAL AGRESSION, SEXUAL THEMES AND A WHOLE LOT OF SWEARING. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

Alrighty then, my lovely fang babes! Here we are, we have the last of the first edition of the pregnancy saga! Worry not, dearest readers, for there is hope! I plan on doing a separate series about going through the pregnancy, and maybe even going through the childbirth with how the boys are as new dads. Let me know in the comments if you'd like to see more, and by tomorrow night we'll have a whole new set to love!

It was such a blast writing Paul's, I'm not gonna lie I got lost in the magic! We have a cute little character cameo for all you 80s movie nerds, lemme know if you can figure out what it is! So, without any more delays; here he is. The gorgeous, the goofy, the one, the only:

PAUL

Today had been an unexpected challenge. You barely got through your shift at the record store, every time you were in light it made you dizzy. Hangovers had nothing on this! Did you drink too much the night before? No, now that you thought about it any attempts to drink had you hugging a toilet. Not to mention your period was late as hell! Well, not the cramps, go figure. Just no blood. None at all. 

You never let on to your beau, Paul, though. The party boy vampire would become overly worried if you told him you were sick, and you weren't about to spoil a good time with a bit of nausea. So here you were, stumbling about the day into the late afternoon absolutely miserable. Your manager Iona offered you some crackers and ginger ale during your lunch break. No dice, within an hour you were running to the bathroom again. 

"Gosh hon, I dunno what ta tell ya. Maybe you ate something nasty, I told you that boardwalk food was fishy," Iona sighed, poking at her own lunch with a fork. Currently your coworker Andie was watching the front until you were feeling better.

"Kill me now, Iona," you groaned, chin resting on the table with your arms laid over your head. Then there was a smell. The greatest, most flavorful, mouthwatering scent you've ever experienced. Like a honey baked ham and a New York sirloin had a glorious new baby drizzled in ecstasy. Glancing over, your stomach growled at whatever it could be. If this were a cartoon you'd be flying to what it was.

Oddly enough, it was coming from Iona. Well, whatever black stuff was in her little plastic tupperware dish. Who cares what it was, it smelled incredible.

"Hey uh..," you asked, leaning over towards the sticky, mysterious delicacy calling your name. "You wouldn't mind if I had a bite, would ya?"

"You sure, hon? This isn't exactly your average dish, it's kinda weird," she tried to explain. God you couldn't take your eyes off it! Finally, your merciful manager pushed it your way, and you couldn't resist any longer. 

"I don't even care, this is the first thing in the past two days that hasn't made me nauseous," you muffled between cosmic bites.

Oh shit, this was heaven! It had to be some sort of meat, it reminded her of a nice spicy kielbasa, a slow roasted brisket, every second it changed to some new world of food you had never tried. What it was didn't matter by this point.

"Wooow. I've never met someone who liked black pudding that much."

Pudding? "I thought it was meat or something? It doesn't taste anything like pudding," you insisted, polishing off the very last specs of it. "Got any more?"

"No, no, not like chocolate pudding or stuff like that, kiddo. black pudding. It's this dish from the UK my new boyfriend made me. It's congealed pig's and cow blood mixed with spices."

You made a face. Blood? Like, blood blood? The cow equivalent of what Paul drank on a daily basis? Yet this was the first time you didn't puke, in fact, you kinda wanted more. Even knowing what is was made of.. for some reason you craved more. Meanwhile Iona continued to talk on and on, until one phrase caught your ears. "Yea, ya know my mom was so into for the longest time. Said she craved it her whole pregnancy, I never got a taste for it honestly."

A single thought popped into your head. A dangerous, foreboding thought that your intuition said was very much a possibility. In a flash you jumped up, nearly slamming your hands on the table. "I gotta go. Oh shit, I gotta go! I'll be right back, I swear, I'm so sorry, I swear to god I'll be right back," you shouted as you bolted out of the store.

"Wait what-?!"

You'd make it up to her once you got back. You had to know! You had to be sure..! Please just let it be paranoia! Please let it be anything, anything at all besides what you thought it was!

Once you reached the nearest CVS you made a B-line to the women's health section. Your hair clung to your face, your lungs stung like crazy but all you could think about was getting answers. And cue the disapproving glare of some old bat picking out a box of pads. Alright being 17 in front of the pregnancy tests looked bad. You weren't just a high schooler, you looked it too. "What're you looking at, " you snarl. Immediately she clutched her pearls, startled by this abrasive youngin' in no mood for dirty looks. God why'd there have to be so many options? Pink boxes, purple ones, bright yellow insisting it worked the fastest. The heavy fluorescent lights were no help at all, it made your head spin. You had no time for this crap. In a sweeping motion you grabbed three different brands and threw them into your basket, all you needed was….where was your wallet? Shit... Glancing around you checked for any nearby cameras or staff. Karma be damned, it was an emergency! Five finger discount it was. 

Once again you made a mad dash back to the record store as the sun finally set. All three boxes were crumpled in your hand, your boots running so fast it you hit a rock that'd be it.

But getting back to the record store was your best bet. You weren't about to pee in some dirty, old, nasty pharmacy bathroo- oh fuck. There was something that finally slowed your steps, nearly making you trip in the process. Four bikes parked right outside. Three of which were occupied by by Dwayne, David and Marko all talking amongst themselves.

Shiiiit, shit, shit! All you could do was swear repeatedly. Before they could spot you, you practically dove into the alleyway behind the store, rapidly disabling the alarm. If that went off it'd be a dead giveaway. Quickly you looked left and right before you slammed the door shut behind you still trying to catch air.

But there, right past the door to the employees lounge, over by the counter you could see a mass of blonde hair chatting away with Iona about Led Zeppelin's best album to date. Paul, gorgeous as every, laughing. It made your heart flutter, but then it sank. What if it was a-... He was never the type to run away from a challenge. But then again, a kid wasn't a challenge, it was a massive ordeal. It would take a huge chunk of his life- well, afterlife! Boozing and cruising would be switched out with drowsy days and busy nights. You weren't sure if you wanted him to know if you were, it would take all that from him. Unfortunately, he must've smelled you or sonething, because immediately he turned around like a puppy being called.

"Babe," he cheered with delight, rushing over to hug you. Rather squeeze you by your hips and lift you four feet off the ground. Quickly you stuffed the skinny boxes into your back pocket, now smushed up against his chest. "Where were you? Ion's said you just bolted mid-shift, we were worried sick! Well, I mean, I was more worried though, cuz I can't stand you bein' gone, kitten."

"Well, yeah uh, I forgot something I had to get at the store, and I forgot what time I got off," you hesitated, still antsy to escape to the bathroom. Truthfully you didn't actually want to, you had to! If you could, you'd just kiss him and ride off into the night to raise some hell like you always did. But this was too big to ignore.

Paul raised a brow. You weren't known for being this jumpy. You wouldn't look him in the eyes, they just kept darting towards the bathroom. Boy, you really did look sick, though. Pale, almost greenish with dark circles under your eyes. You even felt colder than usual. "Am I uh, interrupting something, babe?"

You managed to work out if his arms, giggling nervously. "Actually I-I had some of Iona's lunch earlier, and I just, gotta- be right back!"

With that, you bolted into the bathroom and slammed the door behind you. Again, weird. Paul just shrugged, maybe you had some bad Mexican.

 Iona wasn't convinced. Little miss jumpy-pants skipping out on her, you owed her an explanation. While Paul perused the albums she sunk over to the bathroom, rapidly tapping on the door. "Y/N! Psst! You good in there, hon?"

You were most certainly NOT good! Your hand shook, the third test finally finished. Not like it mattered! They all said the same thing. Every fucking one of them.

Positive. Positive. Positive.

No, no, no!

"Shit," you hissed. "Shit! Oh shit, oh fuck! Fuck-fuckity shit fuck fuck! Dammit." That's all you could do! You swore over, and over, and over, rapidly kicking the wall in front of you. Stupid pink plus! Why? Why did it have to be a plus?? Immediately you threw it in the trash and scooped up the other two. Maybe they were all flukes? Maybe only a doctor could tell you! You had to get home. Like now. Right now, you just had to rush home, make an appointment at the doctors, maybe hide in shame for a few days just until you could figure out what the hell to do with all this! Once again you wedged the tests in your back pocket and nearly tripped, cracking open the door to face your boss. "Iona, I gotta get home."

"Seriously, Y/N?? Why? What is with you?"

"Please, I swear I will make it up to you, I'll take a double shift, I'll wash your damn car-"

"Oh no, nuh-uh. Not until you tell me why you're being such a spaz," she practically shouted in a hissing whisper, absolutely exasperated. You teens and your drama, when she always said she wanted to fell young again this is NOT what she meant!  

"Listen i-... iyay amyay egnantpray," you whispered. Pig latin. It was a little code you two usually reserved for secrets. Well, that and talking smack about snotty customers. But wow was this a big ol' secret. 

Iona covered her mouth. Oh, you little idiot! You poor little idiot. Looking over at the unsuspecting boyfriend she sighed, looking you in the eyes. She wanted to just tell you to come clean to your man. The boy hung around you constantly, you two were the ultimate it-couple, there wasn't even sparks it was like watching supernovas. Something this big.. it shouldn't be left in the dark!

But that pitiful expression on your face just begged her to keep quiet, and frankly it wasn't her place to tell you what to do- well, at least in this regard. "Alright, alright. This saturday you're taking my night time shift, there's a big concert I wanna go to. And you gotta wax my car, it's gettin' nasty. And you better write the best damn apology note in the history of apology notes, sweetie. This is huge, you better come clean to him eventually, or I'll kick your little butt you hear me?"

"Yes. Absolutely, fine, deal. Just please, please keep him busy, I'm not ready to tell him," you whined, clutching the door. Frankly it sounded like a piss poor plan, but it couldn't be helped, not right now at least. You didn't have the strength to confront the situation head on, you were barely keeping it together. You wanted to cry all over, jump into his arms and come clean now, but this was neither the time or place.

As soon as Iona went to go over to Paul you stuffed the tests into your purse and bolted out the back door, only this time stealth was not on your side. Right at the mouth of the alleyway, just as you were about to be home free- you ran smack dab into a particularly lithe blonde that felt like a brick wall. You went flying onto the ground, your purse crashing onto concrete with a hundred pieces of your privacy going every direction. In a panic you began to rapidly stuff it all back, barely able to hide the first two tests as you threw some half baked apology Marko's way. Honestly he deserved a better one than that, but you were too frazzled to be fair at the moment.

"Oh shit, Y/N," Marko exclaimed, immediately kneeling down to help you gather the scattered remains of your purse. "Sorry, I didn't even see you, I was coming back for a smoke. Big Ed is such a douche, can you believe theres no smoking on the-..." His words trailed off, and you shortly saw why. Grasped between his pointer finger and thumb was the little pink strip, and a look of complete disbelief. All you could do was snatch it from him, a heavy moment of silence magically muffling the wild noise and shouts of the busy boardwalk. 

"Do...D-Don't worry about it. Look, I gotta get home, I'll see you arou-," you started, trying to jump up, maybe catch him off guard and make a run for it. Not this time. 

You hadn't even noticed he grabbed your wrist, it was such a blur. He stayed silent, standing up and looking right into your eyes with hidden malcontent. You swore if you answered wrong this mischievous cat would tear your throat out. After all, you were his best friend's girl. If you did anything, ANYTHING, to hurt him... Well, let's just say a pregnancy would be the least of your worries. "Why are you running, Y/N? What the hell is this thing," he asked quietly, eyes flickering between red and blue. "Did you…?"

"Oh don't fuckin' even," You snapped, smacking his arm, yanking your hand out of his grasp. "Of course not! You butt! God, are you serious? What do you take me for- No! I- fuck I just- no!" You kick the tin trash can beside you, watching a plethora of trash fly into the air. "I am freaking out! Of course it's Paul's. Oh fucking god, it's Paul's and I don't know what to do!"

Marko's expression softened, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Hey, I didn't mean to make it sound like that, Y/N. Paul's my friend, I just had to be sure you weren't sneaking around, you know?"

You sighed, pushing back your mess of a hair with misty eyes. This was perfect, a real big screw up from start to finish. All you could do was look over at Marko with pleading eyes. "You can't tell him yet. Please, just please please PLEASE, Marko, don't tell Paul yet!"

"Tell me what, babe?"

Shit. Shit on a stick. You looked behind to see Paul halfway out the back door with a look of concern, one that he rarely carried. You and your dumb mouth, go figure.

The blonde pushed through and let the door close behind him, looking over at his best bud standing alone with his girlfriend who was begging him to keep something secret, from him no less.

 "Marko?"

"Nah, nah, don't look at me man, this is all on you guys," he sighed, hands up in a shielding motion. "Good luck buddy. Gotta go, Y/N." with that the young vampire excused himself from this melting pot of drama, hands stuffed in his pockets. 

You just stood there, keeping the little strip tightly grasped behind your back. Paul was silent, but glancing at his hands you saw they were balled so tight his knuckles were white. "P-paul…," you hesitated, biting down on your bottom lip. "I should really… get home.."

Paul only raised a brow, glancing at your arms still tucked behind you. This wasn't like you to hide from him, and that alone frightened him. Nothing had ever frightened him before. And he didn't like the taste of it one bit. "What's behind your back, babe?"

"What?"

Again his spoke, this time his voice lowered into a low growl. "What... do you have... behind your back, babe?" The way he said it was so firm, it made you shake a little. You didn't like stern Paul. They way he hissed the word "babe", practically spoken through clenched teeth

Your throat ached, eyes darting across the ground struggling to think up a good excuse. Anything. A book, your purse, a surprise for him! Anything!

"N-nothing." Apparently, you failed to find any excuses. Great.

Paul's knuckles began to crack, jumping forward to try and snatch it from behind you. When you dodged him, he grew even more furious. You both began to struggle, pushing him away, insisting he just stop and let you leave. But every attempt to reject him only upset him further. Why were you hiding things from him?! How could you just ditch him at the record store when he was worried sick about you??

The struggle built up until finally he had enough. His eyes turned white with rings of fire, brow looming heavily over his eyes and fangs jutting out where his incisors once were. In a flash he grabbed you by you wrists, pinning you so hard to the wall it shook. You still tried to struggle. Thrash, kick, squirm! Steel wished it could be so strong, your muscles ached. This probably wasn't even his full strength, but it dwarfed you in comparison. This terrifying side of Paul you had certainly seen before, but never had you been on the receiving end. It was in all sense of the word, predatorial. He'd never try to kill you, but you still felt that horror build up inside. Rapid, sharp breaths made your chest heave, too afraid to look up at those red eyes still fixated on whatever you kept hidden from him. He continued to pry your stubborn fingers open, ignoring your shaking whimpers. He squoze your wrist, the tendons aching and contracting until your fingertips began to lift up. Any resistance was pretty much useless at this point, but dammit you still tried everything to worm out of his grip. But he had finally had it, you weren't gonna be keeping secrets from him. Now your last finger was pushed off, and he could see what was so damn important that you physically fought him to keep it secret. It was almost slow motion the way the strip spun to the ground, clattering down and landing beside his mud caked boots. He froze, slowly looking down at it. That's it? That's all you-...

You could barely read his face, so many different emotions flashing across it all at once. Occasionally he'd look back up at you, then back down at it. To the point you almost got annoyed that you were still being stuck to a wall while the reality set in. After all, it didn't take a rocket scientist to know what that was, just put you down already!

Paul looked at you still pinned beneath him, horrified at how he lost his temper and immediately released you. Still rubbing away the pain across your wrists, you watched him pick it up. A wave of guilt swarmed your body, you didn't know whether to hug him or punt him in the chest.

Hell, a massive tidal wave of guilt overflowed him too. It'd been such a long time since he got that angry.. but worst of all he'd never been like that with you. Never grabbed you so forcefully and ignored your pleas, it was a dark side of him he never wanted to display in front of you. Glancing at the little pink plus at the end of the stick, his mind swirled with a plethora of questions. But slowly he stood up, looking down at you still really trying to process everything that had happened in the past few minutes. "I don't… I don't understand.."

"You- You are such an ass," you shouted out of nowhere, enough that it made him jump. There you were. That's the fiery girl he knew, not the one he exactly wanted to be on the opposing side of at the moment, though.

Paul wasn't surprised you were pissed, but he definitely didn't expect you to start punching his arm. Again. Then again, and again you just kept hiting his arms, his chest, pushing and crying, you were so mad you wanted to chuck him in the ocean! It didn't really hurt that much, but he felt awful he drove you to that point.

Tears blurred your vision as you lashed out on him. All you could do was yell names between sobs, even whack him with your purse. "Paul, you absolute jerk! Butt! Jackass! You smarmy, half wit, blood-sucking tool! You said you were packing blanks, you absolute liar! I was gonna tell yo-! I mean, I know I shouldn't have run-! But you just couldn't wait- and then Marko- and you! You ! Jerk ! Butthead !"

"Hey, ow! Ow! Ow, dammit! I know, I know I went to far-ow not the hair dammit," he demanded, grabbing your arms before you could lay another mighty blow. "Babe! Babe, stop! I thought I was! I swear I didn't know- I-..I never thought that I could get you...." His hands slowly released your shoulders, moving to your hips. "I'm so sorry, baby. I swear, I didn't know.. I'm so sorry."

The way his voice softened only made you want to cry more. This whole day was a mess. You didn't mean to try and run.. You never should've tried to in the first place. God, you were so tired. All this running around, all this secrecy, the fighting, it was exhausting. Paul was the last person you wanted to fight. Sure you had spats and a few heated arguments. Every couple did, even vampires. But this, it was just so.m draining. With a firm thud you plopped your forehead on his sternum, your fingers tightly clinging to the upper sleeves of his jacket. "Wh-what am I supposed to do-… what are we supposed to do now..?"

Paul pondered his options with a solemn face, but there was only one that made him happy. Only one that sat right in his heart. What else could he possibly do, there was only ever going to be one answer even if you told him right away. Most of all, he couldn't stand the sorrow in your eyes. A frown never suited such a beautiful face. He never expected there to be anything to come from your heavy sexcapades, it never seemed like there was any risks in it. He'd never seen a vampire munchkin, least of all he'd never even heard of a vamp conceiving with a human. All he knew now is you, crying in his arms, terrified of what you were carrying. What it could mean. In that moment, he steeled his resolve and came to a final decision.

Silently he tilted your chin up, using his thumb to brush away all those tears staining your cheeks. Those blue eyes, you could get lost in them. Swallowed up by the sea. It wasn't hard to read his mind when he held onto your hip with one hand, while the other that pushed away salty droplets now cupped your cheek. Within moments you crashed your mouth into his, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

Warm. A surge of heat filled your body. It was the first time you felt truly alive all day. You could feel your chest heave against his, you didn't want any space between the two of you and only pressed tighter until there wasn't anything left. Each kiss gave momentary breath before you dove in for more. Neither of you could stop. You didn't want to pull away, not even for a split second. The way he smelled, the way he tasted, the way he touched you, the way he felt beneath your fingers; it made your head spin. His hands began to wander, you clutched at anything you could get a hold of. Your body burned, so sweet and long. In those moments the world stopped, it just melted away in streams of light. No one was there but you two. 

It was over too soon, both of you rapidly panting for breath still intertwined. Oh, how you could stare into his eyes forever.

That frown was long gone, replaced by a tender smile. The one he had come to cherish. Paul chuckled softly, breathlessly nuzzling against your collar bone. Slowly he leaned in close to your ear, his disheveled blonde hair brushing up against your cheeks. Lips trailed up flesh, reavhing just beneath your ear. And then you heard those three forbidden words. Such sweet, tender words, you hadn't expected him to say. Although he whispered them so softly they might have gotten lost in the wind, to you they were as clear as the moon on a cloudless night.

"Y/N.... I love you."

It made your heart throb, you thought you might even faint. A lifetime of struggles led up to this beautiful moment. You never expected it to be a half-undressed heavy make out session with your vampire lover, the father of your unborn spawn, in the back alley of a record store on the Santa Carla Boardwalk. But here you were, nestled between him and an old brick wall. Paul loved you, he had said it, he finally said those words that could destroy any doubt you had. And more than anything in the whole wide world, you knew once and for all, you loved Paul.

[virgil-is-a-cutie]

Alya salt Alya and class (except Chloe and sweet tomato Nathaniel) destory Marinette's sketchbook but shes doesn't care cuz it was 4 the class and consequences happen (based on unmaskedagain fictattered remains and broken dreams(yours not mine))

Screwing Up (You Did, Not Me)

This has light salt cuz I'm too lazy to to continue. If y'all want a sequel tell me.

Marinette hums as she put her sketchbook of her designs in a metal box with a lock in it. She had bought the small vault after Chloé copied her hat design.

Chloé still winced and gave her a sheepish smile whenever they hanged out at the bluenette's room.

At least she showed she regretted it honestly.

She was glad she got the steel box, it was something she was glad she got once Lila came into the picture. She lost trust in her ex friends a week after Lila came back since they easily followed Rossi without taking into consideration what she was saying.

Sure the class have only known her for two years, but surely they've heard about her the four years that she's been at Dupont since moving from America at the age of 10 years old.

They acted like friends, but they honestly saw her as someone to only do stuff for them.

At least some did a commission unlike others in the class. That made it easier to have separate sketchbooks for the class really.

She puts a white sparkly sketchbook in her backpack since Sabrina and her had been discussing the designs for the school play that she and the rest of the theatre class were going to put on.

At least the theatre teacher commissioned her early on and Sabrina and her discussed with Marinette on what the style of the costumes they wanted for the play.

Mylene had been kicked out of the theatre club as well the class after they witnessed her verbally assaulting Marinette, who had been ignoring the shorter girl by listening to a P!ATD song. Mylene had protested, but Sabrina had ripped Mylene a new one. She may not get along well with the bluenette since Chloé and her became friends with the bluenette, but she didn't believe Marinette deserved to be treated harshly.

She wore a baby pink sundress with a black motorcycle jacket with pink flowers stitched into it and pink combat boots with spikes on them.

She had started to hang out with Gina more now and her outfits have changed a little because of that.

She fixes her hair in a side braid before grabbing a granola bar and a yogurt cup before grabbing her school bag before heading to school 40 minutes early. She had a small breakfast meeting to get to before class started.

She met with Sabrina and the theatre teacher in the theatre classroom to discuss any alterations and last minutes things needed on the classroom, which were not needed much to Marinette's relief.

So when there was about 10 minutes before class was set to start she went to her locker and put up her small make up bag that just contained eyeliner and light pink lipstick and a few nail polish containers. She noticed she was missing a white sketchbook with the design of a rainbow poop emoji, but she shrugged it off.

It wasn't that important. Well it was, but only for her class really, the classmates that deemed it a right to use up her time among other things for free things that she really believed they didn't deserve.

She hums listening to I Write Sins Not Tragedies as she walked to class, softly mumbling to the beginning of the song.

Nathaniel was pacing back and forth outside the classroom, he noticed her and tried to talk with her, but Chloé grabbed his hand and questioned him quietly as to what was worrying him.

A few of her classmates had a shameful look on their faces while a few smirked smugly at her or snickered as she walked passed them on her way to her seat in the back.

She frowns upon seeing shredded paper on her desk, but realization struck her when she saw the cover of the sketchbook her ex friends ripped up.

Nathaniel and Chloé watched from the door with a nervous and worried look on their faces.

She shrugs and sings along to the song softly as she takes a picture of it, grabs the cover of the sketchbook, saving it into her backpack.

For fun reasons only.

She then sent emails to whoever she needed to before grabbing the shredded paper and throwing it into the trash can that was beside the corner in the back. Making sure to clean up the mess well in her desk, and goes over to the front of the. She wanted to see their faces as she told them that they all screwed themselves over.

Well... a few of them did really.

Nathaniel tried to gently grab her shoulder, but she waved him off with a soft smile. She took off her headphones, music blaring loudly out of it as La Devotee played out.

She turns back around before groaning and pinching the bridge of her nose before smiling widely to the class.

Her ex friends were very much surprised, they thought she would be crying, or screaming really. Even Lila was a little shocked at the biracial girl's reaction to seeing her ripped up sketchbook. She wanted the Chinese Mexican American girl to at least cry.

They thought the the

"Aren't you.... aren't you at least a bit sad dudette?" Nino asked weakly.

He wasn't close to Marinette anymore because of Lila, but he knew that Alya went too far in destroying the bluenette's sketchbook.

He was honestly debating on breaking up with her ever since she started to beg for more dates and tell him to drop their younger siblings off with Marinette, who he knew was possibly too busy to even do so because the bluenette always had her schedule in order.

Marinette breaths in deeply and makes a praying gesture with her hands as she does this before giving them a toothy and wide eye grin.

A very wide toothy grin with wide eyes that sorta freaked out a few of her classmates. Possibly even Lila.

"I cannot stress this enough... but y'all fucked up, pendejos. Pinche brutos," she said slowly as if to let them understand as if they were children.

Which they were, but more on the teenager part really.

Everyone gaped as the small petite bluenette cursed at them. Lila blinked in surprise before smirking smugly, hiding her smirk as she dipped her head low.

"I would be, but not really. Ya ni me va importar ese cuaderno," she says with a small tilt of her head.

Everyone in the class blinked, except for Nathaniel and Chloé. Sabrina stepped in a second later and paused to take in what's happening.

She was about to speak when Chloé shook her head, making her frown, but she stayed quiet.

Marinette raised an eyebrow, "don't really care for that sketchbook really. It wasn't at all tan importante. Not at all that important to be frank with y'all."

Everyone blinked in shock at what they heard the bluenette say.

"What do yo-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT IMPORTANT?! IT WAS YOUR SKETCHBOOK!" Alya screeched as she stood up.

Lila flinched and winced at the yell since Alya sat very close to her.

"It was a sketchbook yes, but not one that would break my heart if torn," the bluenette said with a shrug which shocked the class.

"Wait what," Nathaniel asked in shock making Mari lightly giggle before giving the class a shit eating grin.

"The sketchbook with all the designs that are worthwhile and deemed good are locked away at home in my room. I stopped bringing it to school a month after the hat contest," she said as she looked at her nails.

"The sketchbook with a rainbow poop emoji is for this class specifically. Specifically for the class members who demand for things for free, as well as class representative things."

Everyone in the classroom frown.

"What do you mean demand? We commission you for almost a lot of things," Ivan asked curiously.

He may have stopped being friends with the bluenette, but that didn't stop him from paying a commission early than necessary for things he needed since not many stores carried his size.

A few others nodded since they always commissioned the bluenette as well order a box or two full of pastries from the bakery when they wanted to bring a treat to the class that they have Marinette bring. However, only a few froze and sunk in their seats little at the implication.

Marinette raised her eyebrow at him and gestured with a nod towards Mylene, Alya, Kim, and Alix who all just sunk down in their seats from being called out.

Lila raised an eyebrow at the people who got called out.

Rose frowns as well did the rest of the class, "wait... hold up-"

"Wait... did you all four expect Marinette to make your stuff for free?" Nino asked in disbelief.

"It's just that she desi-"

"It doesn't matter if she's a designer Alya. Marinette may not be our friend anymore, but even if she was it doesn't mean to take advantage of the fact she designs clothes and other things," Rose said with a disappointed look on her face.

"Wait-"

"Don't worry to those who commissioned me, I have your commissions on a separate sketchbook and you all did the commission online so you're all good. I just need to work on them so that they can be finished in the intended date."

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! WHY-"

"Césiar she is wasting time on making things that you and the other three useless beings don't bother to commission that make her waste tons of material just to make your useless asses things that honestly none of the four of you really deserve to have made," Chloé bit out icily with a glare.

"But it's just small things! A dress here, a jacket here-"

"Yeah posters really," Kim interrupts Alya.

Chloé raised an eyebrow and smirked widely as she stepped towards her ex friend.

"Adrien, do tell how much a custom made design does your dear old dad charge someone."

Adrien blushed and mumbled softly.

"I'm sorry what?"

"$9,000 and that was for a simple black pantsuit with a a red rose stitched in one pocket," he said out loud. The blonde shaking a little, he had arrived a minute before Nathaniel so he didn't know what was going on until the commotion started.

Chloé hums and looks at her manicured nails.

"My mother would charge up to $3,000 depending on the 'simple' dress Alya asked for really. Up to 20 grand for the dresses Alya and Mylene basically demanded from you unless she had to hand sow herself," she said with a smug grin to the two girls that basically demanded Marinette to make them skirts among other things really.

The two girls paled as they realized how much money they basically would've saved if they hadn't ripped up the bluenette's sketchbook. Even if they basically demanded it to be made by her.

Alix paled as she realized that she demanded Marinette to design her a suit simply because she hated dresses. That would've cost her so much more than a simple measly $100 that she had somewhere really.

"B...but I need a dress for a date with Ivan!" she gasps out with wide eyes.

"So do I! I need a new skirt!" Alya growls out.

"Yeah too bad so sad, but you two are not going to get anything because my commissions are already full really," Marinette said.

"B...But the school's basketball's team needed new uniforms!" Kim out.

"That is a ridiculous thing you had asked of me Kim, even your basketball couch was appalled that you asked that of me," Marinette said with a raised eyebrow to her ex friend.

Kim blushed at the realization of what was said, "but-"

"Either way I gave him the number of a really nice cousin of mine, Carrie Ross-Snell. She does design for a living, but it's more of a hobby in the side to be honest. She doesn't mind really," she mumbles the last part.

"She gave him a good price really," she said out loud.

She really was going to have to thank the stars that Sue had used the bunny miraculous to have Carrie be placed in a new home when born after The Blood Prom occured. At least Fu saw it fit for the girl and her boyfriend see their error of their ways and wanting Carrie to have a happy childhood. Which led her to be adopted by Ms. Desjarden.

Their future P.E teacher. Who later married her uncle Chris.

Thank god Master Fu had been in a America for a short while when that happened.

At least Carrie was raised with love and was cared for. Even if she was still a very shy person.

"Either way I can't work on all the things that were on that journal, there were too many last minute demands you forced on me. They're gone, as well as the other things that were on that sketchbook," Marinette said with a shrug.

"W...what about fundraisers you promised to help?!" Alix screamed out.

The bluenette raised an eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips, "I never promised anything at all Alix. You and Kim bitched about wanting help and that's it. I just told y'all good luck really," she told the now embarrassed two.

"B...but my outfit for Kitty Section!" Mylene cries out.

"Can't really work on it, it wasn't a commission, although the rest of y'all didn't commission for anything so I don't really have a reason to work on anything," Marinette said with a shrug.

The members of Kitty Section nodded, but then everyone who commissioned her froze. She had her schedule she stuck by so they knew she was already swamped and all internally groaned.

Those who never commissioned her didn't think what the matter was but remembered how much they had to have paid if they even ever asked for a commission.

They paled after that remembering what Adrien said.

The others internally groaned remembering that they had a few things they knew couldn't be worked on because they forgot about them.

Marinette shrugs, "I also had a few of the class representative things there, but oh well, can't do those anymore. As well a few things that only a few other people asked for."

Everyone frowned, but shrugged it off really as the bell rang for the school day to start.

Ms. Bustier walked in and sighs before looking at Marinette with a soft concerned look before sighing.

"During lunch class we will decide the new class representative. Marinette unfortunately has to pull out due to reasons," the teacher said with a weak smile.

Marinette smiles brightly at the teacher before going to her desk.

"What a shame, we could've gotten to go see Luther Inc. and Oscorp," she says to herself, but she said it out loud for people to hear.

All of them heard and felt their hearts break at what they just heard.

The class will soon realize that those who destroyed Marinette's sketchbook for the class fucked them all over.

Because not only did it have things for class representatives and such.

It had their schedules and other important dates that Marinette always believed and told them were very much important for them.

Something they honestly believed wasn't until the last minute and caused them to feel dread at the thought of them forgetting something or anything they had scheduled.

All because Alya and the other three decided to tear up Marinette's sketchbook.

The wrong one at that.

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. XIII || JJ Maybank x Reader

Words:2715

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: abuse / being a fugitive???

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: In a desperate attempt to sort everything out, Y/N finds herself in the ones place she least expected to be

A/N: ok ok ok i promise im writing my requests oops anyway love yall send more requests cuz im always bored. Also, yall dont understand how sad i am that this is ending :( BUT started writing another series so lemme know if u wanna get tagged in that <3

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

“John B, what are we doing at the police station?” JJ asked, breaking the stuffy silence that was consuming the vehicle.

“Somebody’s gotta tell them what happened.” He justified.

“Need me to come in, like, as a witness?” you asked. He shook his head. 

The heavy quiet was broken by Pope, coughing like he’d inhaled chili powder. “Easy there, chief.” JJ reprimanded, and you took the blunt away from your friend. “Alright,” JJ leaned through to John B, “I’m just gonna be real with you right now,” You watched his red cap, “You might end up in the lion’s den, but you don’t go there on purpose. It’s fundamental, just like my old man always told me, you should never, ever trust cops. No matter what the circumstance is.”

“Your old man’s an abusive liar.” Kie countered.

“I agree with JJ.” Pope spoke, and you frowned, holding back the giggle in your lips as he continued, “Fuck the police.”

“You going to the dark side now?” Kie snarked.

“When was the last time the police ever helped us?” He countered.

“Peterkin looked out for me, alright?” John B interrupted, “Or tried to, at least.”

There was a moment of thick quiet before he continued.

“They need to know.”

He looked around, none of you willing to argue as he got out of the car and entered the station. You looked over to JJ, who was determinedly ignoring your stare. You wondered what the fuck was going on because last time you checked, you had been on good terms with him. You sighed, looking out the window and waiting impatiently for John B to return so that the awkward silence would end. You took a hit from the blunt you’d taken from Pope, letting the smoke swirl around in your lungs before gently blowing it out, ignoring the frustrated looks you got from the other three.

Next thing you knew, everyone was shouting and the car was accelerating, the officer trying to open the car door discarded as the shocking adrenaline rush took ahold of the speeding car. Eyes wide, you took another hit from the blunt.

--

“Good news for residents of the Outer Banks, Dominion Power says their underwater transmission line, which will restore power to 95% of the area, should be functional within 24 hours.”

Sirens passed, but in the hazy atmosphere of the car, no one moved, other than to make sure the car didn’t turn. Pope and Kie sat in the front, JJ and John B to your right, seats reclined as you all attempted whatever kind of rest was possible on the worried heat of the day.

“And still no arrest for the shooting death of Sheriff Susan Peterkin. The state police have issued a statement regarding a local person of interest, a juvenile from-”

Kie clicked the radio off, glancing over at the three of you in the back.

“Let’s game this out.” JJ suggested, “Maybe you guys can help, being the smart ones and all, but… who are the cops going to believe? Ward Cameron or us? So the accuser is a big shot developer, kind of lord of the island, got the governor on speed dial kind of person, and the accused…” he looked over to his friend, “is John B, who is pretty much a homeless 16-year-old boy at the moment.”

“Thanks.” came the hoarse voice of the boy across from you.

“Shit.” you muttered, running a hand over your face and sitting up straight for the first time in hours. You twisted so that your back was leaning on the back oh Kie’s seat, and you were facing the three boys.

“Okay, man, Yucatan, alright?” JJ said, swiftly avoiding your arm as you stretched, “I’m saying, that’s the only option, what other option do you have?”

“Enough with the Mexico bullshit.” John B shook his head. “Sarah’s gonna bail me out.”

“She did witness the whole thing.” Kie pointed out.

“So did I?” you reminded, “So what? She’s gonna snitch on her brother for her dick appointment of the week? No offence, bro.”

“It’s not happening.” JJ reiterated, “We’ve gotta get you off the island.”

“The ferry.” Pope said, “It’s the only way.”

“Exit stage left while you still can.” JJ added. “Before the entire island is on lockdown.”

“Get down.” You reminded him softly, and you all ducked. You reached for JJ’s hand, but his simple gesture of pulling it away made you feel embarrassed, unsure of whatever was going on between you. You turned away from him, looking out the window again.

“Sarah’s not a pogue, John B.” Pope reminded.

“Yeah, you can’t stay here, man.”

“Let’s go then.” You muttered, and Pope pulled out, driving carefully to the docks. They were crowded, and you got out before anyone could argue, thankful for even two minutes out of the suffocating atmosphere. You walked to the sign, reading the notice about the ferry closure and ripping the wanted poster off its staples. You walked back to the car, reading it as you reached the vehicle, then passing it through Pope’s window and shaking your head solemnly. You got in next to JJ as they passed the paper around, JJ making a joke.

“Okay, so the whole island’s looking for John B right now.” Pope said.

“Well at least you know how much you’re worth.” You joked, receiving a frustrated look from Kie.

“Congratulations, John B,” JJ smirked, “you’re famous.”

“We gotta get to the HMS. We need small, no running lights-” kie began to reason, but John B cut her off.

“It’s at the Chateau, Kie.”

“And I wonder if the cops have got the entire place staked out.” JJ said, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Let me think. Yeah, no, they definitely have that place locked down.”

“Hey Jay?” you nudged him, an idea forming, “Like, a couple of weeks ago, you mentioned your dad’s boat? The Ghost? Spectre?”

“The Phantom!” JJ and Pope caught on.

“He still got it?” Pope asked.

“Maybe.”

“You could get that right up the coast, no problem.” Pope said.

Bickering followed, and then the sudden realisation that Pope’s car was on the poster. Suddenly, someone was hitting the window and the car wasn’t starting and everyone was shouting. The car lurched forwards, straight into another car, and then took off, driving away as people watched, shocked.

The car sped forwards, crashing around as you all shouted for Pope to stop, his high ass was definitely not fit for driving.

“JB,” you shouted over everyone, “you need to get out.”

Pope braked, all of you thrust forwards with the force of it, and you found yourself pushing John B out of the car while JJ shouted instructions at him.

--

The two field tents were massive, rows of chairs on either side as swarms of people worked, talked, and typed. You wandered around for a minute or so, watching the officers interact, always being pushed back when you tried to talk to anyone. You could feel the eyes of the security team burning into you as you looked for Shoupe. Eventually, you saw him, talking to a taller man in an SBI windbreaker. You walked towards them slowly, finalising your plan in your head.

Shoupe saw you, and stepped aside from the conversation so that he was facing you, the agent turning as well, a frown forming as he took in your scruffy attire and the faint smell of JJ’s weed that was clinging to your clothes. You looked between them, “Uh, Officer Shoupe, I have some info.” You greeted.

“Who are you?” The agent interrupted, looking you over again.

“Um, I’m Y/N Y/L/N, I know John B.” you clarified, and he nodded.

“What have you got for us?” he asked, and you breathed in, and out, pinching yourself slightly.

“I saw everything on the airstrip.”

The SBI agent introduced himself as Bratcher, then they sat you down in one of the tents, letting you explain what you saw, uninterrupted, and asking questions when they saw fit. They told you that your account, while plausible, was a hard one to argue, especially against Ward Cameron, unless you had a second account to back it up.

Sarah Cameron, you thought. Talk to Sarah.

After taking your statement, they left you to sit in the field tent, shivering in the cold breeze and no coat, watching them call your dad, listening out for any relevant information you could gather. 

You could feel their eyes on you, discussing what to do with the information you had for them. An officer, you couldn’t remember her name, had draped a jacket over your shoulders at some point, then led you away while the SBI agent gave a briefing.

You waited at the end of the tent, looking for anything to cease your worry and boredom.

Then you saw her. She looked as lost as you had, trying to work out who to talk to, just like you had a few hours ago. You stepped towards her.

“Sarah?” she turned to you, going to hug you, but an armed officer stepped between you, pulling you apart. “No, she’s my friend!” you struggled towards her, another officer holding her away from you, both of you shouting.

“What’s happening?” Bratcher asked, all of you stopped struggling. 

“This is Sarah Cameron,” you explained, “she was there, like I said.”

He looked between you, and nodded, asking her if she was able to make a statement. They took her away, sitting her down at the other end of the tent, letting her talk. You saw Ward approaching.

“Y/N?” he frowned, and you raised your eyebrows.

“How do you know who I am?”

“Sarah’s mentioned you.” he looked around, “have you seen her?”

“Oh, is she no longer locked away in her room?” He tensed, confusion and anger contorting his features.

“How do you know about that?” 

“Can’t say.” You said, “Not a great parenting strategy, just saying.”

He leapt forwards, a madness in his eyes that you’d never seen before. He grabbed you by the throat, screaming in your face while you clawed at his grip. Within seconds, other bodies were pulling him away. Your panic subsided, and you looked at Bratcher. You could use the situation to your advantage.

“See what I mean?” you yelled, pointing at him as you faced Bratcher, “He’s crazy! I told you, he attacked Big John, he’s the reason this is all happening!”

Bratcher sighed, signalling for his men to take away the older man. “I have to say, Miss Y/L/N, your story is making more sense. Two stories matching perfectly, his temper. But we talked to your father, you’re free to go, we’re almost done with Sarah.”

“What’s going to happen to John B?”

He sighed, “We’ve gotta bring him in, you understand that.”

You nodded, “I hope I shed some truth to the situation.”

You walked away, leaving the jacket on a chair as you passed, sending a reassuring smile to Sarah on your way out, you wandered the streets, finding your way to JJ’s house.

By some kind of miracle, you arrived at the same time as Kie and JJ. He was getting out of the car when he noticed you, and instead of making any move to hug you as normal, he froze.

“Look, JJ,” you sighed. “Why are you mad at me?”

You stood opposite him in his front yard, staring at the way he sighed, an odd mix of relief and defeat adorning his features. “I saw some texts, from Tyler.”

You nodded slowly. “I rejected him, if that’s what upset you. Since I met you, no guys have been the same, you know?”

His eyes pulled in slightly, as if realising that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t one-sided. “Did you sleep with him?”

“Yeah.” you glanced at the floor, “I don’t really know why. Things were weird between us and I just - I missed my old life. But it was like, the confirmation I needed.”

“What do you mean?”

“I love you.”

His jaw dropped slightly in shock, running you words over in his head, working out whether you were genuine. You began to step back, and before you could think about what had just happened, he was kissing you.

It was urgent, emotive, full of everything that you couldn’t put into words. You broke apart, still slightly shocked at the confession. You looked at his front door.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

He looked to Kie, who was pretending she hadn’t watched, and nodded apprehensively, slipping a hand into yours and leading you to the door. He opened it, leading you through into the mess. You stepped over shoes and bottles as he led you in, calling out for his dad.

You ventured into the living room, seeing his dad passed out on the sofa, a half empty bottle of something on the table next to him. “Dad, I need the keys to the Phantom.” a snore sounded, “Dad?”

You looked down, noticing the sleeping pills and picking them up, showing the bottle to the blond boy next to you. Watching him, you could practically feel the hurt resonating off him, masked by his strong resolution as he looked back at his dad. Noticing the chain around his neck, between you you found a pencil and pin to get the keys with.

You stood a couple of feet behind him as he knelt down, preparing himself.

“Well, I didn’t expect to see you.”

The voice was a murmur, almost soft, and your heart was beating in your throat. You knew what he was capable of.

“You’re back.” 

This time, Luke had more clarity in his voice, and was more awake. He hadn’t noticed you yet.

“Just checkin’ in.” JJ said, backing away as the older man sat up, taking a swig from a beer bottle.

“School out already?” 

“What?” JJ frowned.

“Did you ditch? It’s alright, you can tell me.”

JJ nodded slowly, “Yeah. I hit the break, you know?”

“I hated school too. My boy!” Luke chuckled. You felt intrusive, like you were standing in on a moment that wasn’t yours to see. But the moment felt intimate, hitting you where it hurt as your eyes went glassy. “You know what? Listen, hey.” he stood shakily, “Hey, look, I know I’m hard on you sometimes.” JJ hummed, fear mixing into his pain, “But sometimes I - I see your mother in you, and it gets me a little tweaked, you know?”

You wiped a tear away, the scene before you hurting more than you would like to admit. The man looked at you, and you could see JJ’s shoulders tense.

“You got a girl?” he didn’t look away from you.

“Uh, yeah, Y/N.” JJ looked over at you, worry seeping into his eyes.

“You treat my boy better than I could, okay?” You nodded slowly, more tears slipping down your face.

“Of course.” your voice broke slightly, “I love him.”

“Me too.” His head turned back to his son, “I love you, son.” He pulled JJ in, “Come here, I love you. I love you, son. I love you.”

More than anything, you wanted to call him out. Tell him that if that was true, then he wouldn’t hurt JJ like he did. But whatever this moment was, it wasn’t the right one to do so.

You could hear JJ sniffling, letting his hands find their way onto his father’s back. When he spoke, he sounded like he wanted to be stronger than he felt, his voice thick, pained, struggling. “Love you too, Dad. I’m sorry.”

“Ain’t got nothing to be sorry for.” His father muttered, the sleeping pills pulling him back out of consciousness, slowly as ever. JJ helped him down onto the sofa. “You’re a good boy.” came the murmur.

JJ let out a shaky breath, not sparing you a glance as he pulled the chain from his father’s neck and stepped away. He looked back at you, almost embarrassed to have let you see him in such a vulnerable state. He turned to leave, your voice came out as a hoarse whisper.

“JJ, you don’t always have to be strong, you know that, right?”

Tags: @tangledinsparkles​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @lolitstiana​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @teamnick​ @thoughtsofthestars​ @obxmxybxnk​ @pcterparxer​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @sxcretinhuman​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @angvelics​ @badwolf00593​ @coloradogirl07​ @mendesmaybank​ @jiaraendgame​ @5am-cigarette​ @emerald-xcd​ @haharudy​

[lyriumsings]

6, 8, 10, 25, 31, 35, 47, 53, 54 and 56 for Helena!

First of all, bless you for sending these SHDKKHS I have not thought this hard about my ocs in a minute thank you uwu. This is disgustingly long brace yourself for typos JHSDKJH I put a lot of it under the cut, thank you for the asks!

6. Headcanon VA?

I actually don’t have one currently my brain is pretty good about just going “you sound like this” and that’s that, but I will probably pick one when I work on her profile and I’ll probably spend days on it JHDSKJH

8. Weapon of choice? 

Gun, unfortunately for A lmao. No but seriously she’s pretty comfortable with them and did not hesitate press f to pay respects to A 

10. Do they have any markings, piercings, or scars? No markings but she had lots of piercings as a teen but doesn’t wear them as much now because of her job. She puts them back in sometimes when she’s off duty if she’s feeling it. As for scars do emotional ones count? KJSHKJH Other than the one on her neck from Murphy, nope!

25. City or country?

Country because I have it that a lot of her plans with her First Love (Maria), way before Bobby, were about leaving Wayhaven and going to the city etc and then they broke up and she did it without Nell and Nell kinda realized those weren’t her plans anyway? They were Maria’s and she was hopping along for the ride and she didn’t wanna do that.

31.  What’s their current main conflict?

Mason. That’s it, send tweet SUHDKJH no but really for Helena she kinda has several? Her break up with Bobby was fairly recent and they’ve been off and on since so she sort of resigned herself to be with Bobby at some point and then Mason started existing and it was like “cool some fun I could do some fun. Break it off with Bobby permanently and then move on with my life” only she’s catching feelings for the town slut now and he doesn’t feel the same (allegedly but we KNOW what the tea is). Then there’s her absentee mom who is suddenly back in her life and trying to make an effort with her and she afraid that if she let’s Rebecca do that she’ll hurt her again and on top of that now that she knows what Rebecca does for a living so there’s the possibility of getting close finally and then losing her the way she lost her dad. So overall, I would say her conflict is she basically yearns for love/connection but doesn’t want to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known/opening up for that door to be slammed in her face again JKSKJHkj

35. What are they like as a friend?

Aggressively supportive. KJSHJK when she was younger she was the one causing problems but also usually getting everyone out of it too. Like for her reason she joined the police she had a rebellious youth and the final nail in the coffin was a b&e with her friends (nothing super serious like breaking onto the school football field after hours for shits and giggles and underage drinking) it was her stupid idea and she made sure that only she was caught while they all got out. She’s like that JSHDh if that makes sense.

47. What was this character's biggest turning point in their life, something that changed them almost completely?

The way her mom withdrew after Rook’s death like at a certain point she realized that she needed Rebecca and she wasn’t really there and it hurt. It made her feel like she wasn’t enough to make Rebecca happy, like she wasn’t worth the effort. Like she feels silly cuz she was two she can’t possibly feel the loss Rebecca feels but it’s still a loss, she was still robbed of a parent. She’s also kinda envious of the time Rebecca had with him at least she had his memory to mourn. All Nell had was a stranger’s face in a picture, vague memories, and stories of a man who apparently loved her very much that she would never get to experience and that she didn’t even hear from her mother.

53 expectations vs reality: what did you expect and what did you get with this character?

I expected self indulgent romance what I got was projecting and sorting through things that haunt me JKHSDKJHkj also thirst which is always a win

54. What does your character want and what do they need?

She wants a guarantee that she’ll never get hurt again without ever risking anything and she needs to open herself to the fact that people are going to hurt you but that doesn’t mean everyone will ya know? Some people/relationships aren't meant to be forever and that's ok just love what they gave you at the time. All that cutting yourself off does is rob you of the little bit you could have had.

56. what's your overall goal with this character? Will they get a happy ending or will they succumb to their faults?

All of my characters are unofficial therapy KSJDKH and honestly I feel like a lot of 54 covers what I “want” from her and yes she will get a happy ending so help me god because I’m a sap and I don’t believe in bad endings.

[calpalirwin]

Heart Wins

Summary: Single dad Michael hires a babysitter for his son.

A/N: Not the collab! Ha! Could you imagine?

Word Count: 2.4k

And away, and away we go!

__

“So, I would just need someone to watch him during the day so I can get some studio time in,” Michael told Maya. “I mean, he’s pretty lowkey. Likes to swim in the pool, watch cartoons, basic little kid stuff. I’ll try to keep my schedule as regular as possible, but there might be times I’ll ask you if you can stay later or even help me out on weekends if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” Maya smiled. “And the studio is where?”

“Here, mostly. We try to do what we can at our own places before paying out the ass for ‘professional’ studio time. And since I have Tidus, we usually work here. I just can’t be focused on working with them and watching Tidus at the same time. I mean, it’s not glorious or anything on your end. But, like I said, the kid’s pretty lowkey. And you’ll have the run of the place, so feel free to do whatever. But yeah… any, uh, questions?”

“Um, no I don’t- oh! What happens when you go off on tour?”

“I double your pay?” Michael laughed. “Honestly, I’m not too sure. I’m not set to leave anywhere for about another four months, so if you haven’t run for the hills for something better we can discuss it more then?”

Maya nodded, looking around the house wondering why on Earth she would ever want to give up a sweet ass job like this. “Works for me.”

“Alright,” Michael said, clapping his hands against his thighs and standing up. “I guess I’ll just show you where Tidus is, and leave you guys to it.”

She followed him through the house, up the stairs to a bedroom that had been converted into a playroom. A little boy of no more than 3 or 4 sat in the middle of a comfortable looking couch, his attention held by the cartoon playing on the large television. “Ti,” Michael got the boy’s attention. “This is Maya. She’s gonna watch you for a bit. Can you say hi?”

“Hi,”

“Hey, bud. Whatcha watchin’?” she asked, moving around to sit beside him.

“Pokemon!”

“Oh, cool! I love Pokemon. Who’s your favorite?”

“Pikachu.”

Michael smiled. “Alright, Ti. Maya’s the boss.”

“‘Kay.”

“I’ll be in the basement if you need me for anything,” Michael directed the statement at Maya. “Other than that, make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Michael.”

~~~

“Maya,” a small voice whispered. “Psst… Maya!”

“Mmm? Wha?” Maya asked, yawning and opening her eyes to find a pair of light green eyes peering back at her under a cloud of soft yellow hair. “AAAHHHH!” She retreated to where her bed met the wall. “Tidus, are you tryin’ to kill me?!”

The six year old laughed. “Sorry… Dad said I wasn’t supposed to wake you…”

“But why would you do a silly thing like listen to your dad?” she questioned with her own laugh.

“Exactly! He’s not the boss of me. You are!”

“Nice save, kid.” She threw back the covers and sat up. “You want pancakes don’t ya?”

“Yes, please!”

“Alright. Your dad in the studio with your uncles?”

“They were there all night!” Tidus told her dramatically as they walked downstairs to the kitchen.

She frowned as she tried to remember what time her phone had said when she finally heard Michael’s footsteps on the stairs and the close of his door. Close to 2 am she was sure. And he’d probably only slept for a few hours before heading back down. He probably hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, too close to a break through with the newest album to focus on much else. “Do you think they’re hungry?” she asked the boy.

“We’re gonna have to make the whole box,” Tidus giggled.

“Then let’s make the whole box.”

“Can we make a bunch of different kinds?!”

“Of course we can!”

“Whoohoo!”

A half hour and at least six different types of pancakes later, Maya and Tidus made their way to the basement studio. Tidus carefully carried the stack of plates while Maya held the platter of assorted pancakes, a bottle of syrup tucked under her arm. “Knock knock!” they yelled loudly. “Special delivery!” Maya kept up with it as she let them into the room.

The four adult men turned their heads at the intrusion. “That’s a lot of pancakes,” Michael spoke first, stepping forward to help Tidus with the plates before he dropped them.

“Yeah, we went a little overboard,” Maya responded, setting down the platter on the little table in the room. “Figured you guys must be starving.”

“You figured right. Thanks.”

“Oh, I just made the food. Was Ti’s idea.”

“Ti…” Michael said sternly to his son. “I told you to let her sleep.”

“But you said Maya was the boss. You never said I had to listen to you, too.”

Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Maya snickered into their hands as Michael’s green eyes went wide for a second. “What are you? An elephant?”

Tidus put his arm against his nose like a trunk and made his best elephant noise.

“Well in the future, Elephant Boy, you should listen to me, too. I am your dad after all.”

“10-4, boss man!” the boy chirped.

“What in th-?” Michael chuckled, looking over at Maya.

“No idea, boss man,” Maya laughed back. “Well…” she gestured at all the food. “Dig in!”

~~~

“So,” Calum asked, wiping away the last traces of sticky syrup after Maya and Tidus made their way back upstairs. “How long has Maya been watching Ti?”

“Uh…” Michael thought quickly. “‘Bout two years.”

“Mhm… And how long has she lived here?”

“She moved in right after the first tour, so a little over a year.”

“And she’s good with Ti?”

“Oh, she’s great with him. I’d be lost without her.”

“So, you’ve known her for two years. She’s lived with you for one. And she’s great with your kid,” Calum recapped.

“Yeah… That’s what I just said.”

“What Cal’s trying to say,” Ashton cut in, “is have you slept with her yet? And if not, can he?”

“What the fuck?!” Michael screeched at the same time Calum shoved Ashton with a “That is not my question!”

“Is too! Maybe not the sleeping with her yourself part. But the first part’s true. We’re all wondering, mate,” Luke piped up.

“What the fuck?!” Michael repeated, looking at his friends, slack jawed. “What kinda question is that? No, I haven’t slept with her!”

“Why not?”

“She’s Ti’s babysitter!”

“So?”

“So I’m basically her boss, you nitwits! I’m not fuckin’ the babysitter,” he growled.

“Alright, alright,” the other three held up their hands in surrender.

“And neither are any of you lot!” Michael added.

~~~

“Hey, Maya?” Tidus asked as they watched cartoons.

“Yeah, bud?”

“My dad goes on dates, right? To find me a mom?”

She blinked. She had been expecting him to ask if they could go swimming,or play with Legos, not have the Mom conversation. “Uh… well… yeah, your dad goes on dates. But he’s not trying to replace your mom.”

“No, I know that. But like, he’s trying to find someone that would love us like a mom would. Right?”

“Right. He just wants someone who’s gonna love you as much as he does.”

“So, why doesn’t he take you out on a date?”

Maya choked. “Uh… it’s not that simple, bud.”

“Well, why not? I mean, you’re here. And you don’t get mad at me when I wake you up to make pancakes. And you take me swimming, and watch cartoons with me. And you help in my classroom like all the other moms. Is it cuz you don’t love me?”

“What?! Of course I love you, you goof!”

“So, why can’t you date Dad and be my mom?”

Maya sighed. “It’s not that simple, Ti. Your dad and I have a different relationship.”

“Oh… Will you still stay if I do get a mom?”

“Of course I’ll stay!” she told him, even though she really had no way of knowing. She supposed it would depend on what the new woman did for a living herself, and how comfortable she would be with Maya staying in the house.

“Cool. Cuz me and Dad really like you here.”

“Dad and I,” she corrected absentmindedly.

“Dad and I,” he repeated. “Do you like being with us?”

“No place I’d rather be,” she grinned at him.

~~~

Michael’s head swam with his conversation with his bandmates. Yes, him and Maya got along with each other. Yes, Michael had come to view the woman as not only an integral part of his life, but also as part of the family. Maya had been there for every moment him and Tidus had over the last two years. And she was pretty in a way that often left him breathless, whether she was in a tank top and pajama bottoms with her hair slightly ruffled from sleep, or totally dolled up in a way befitting of magazine covers. But this wasn’t some friendship that could handle a little awkwardness. There were so many ways things could go with too many options for how it could end, each one worse than the last. And to risk it all over a maybe crush? No. It was far better to keep his mouth shut.

Unbeknownst for Michael, Maya’s own head had been swimming with her own equally conflicted thoughts that matched his own. “Hey, Michael,” her soft voice greeted him in the dark hallway.

“Shit!” he whisper-screamed, hand flying to his chest. “Fuck… didn’t see you there.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya…”

“Nah, it’s…” he shook his head. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” it was her turn to shake her head. “Was just about to turn in.”

“Oh… well, night then.”

“Night,” she murmured, feeling his body brush past hers. “Hey, Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Um… can we talk a moment? Ti said something earlier that you should probably be aware of.”

“Yeah, course. C’mon, we can talk in here.” He led them both into his bedroom, flicking on the light. “Is everything alright?” he asked as he sat on the edge of his bed, patting the space next to him.

“Oh, it’s not bad! Just… curious,” she told him as she sat beside him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he mentioned you dating.”

“Aw, shit… I guess I didn’t explain that to him as well as I thought I did…”

“No, no,” Maya shook her head. “He understands. Well, as much as any six year old can anyway. It’s, uh… well he brought up something that I just can’t seem to shake.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… um… and I’m not asking to put you on the spot or anything. It’s just…”

“Curious?” he supplied.

“Yeah. Um… what happens when one of these women becomes your long-term girlfriend or wife? Like… what would that mean for me?”

Michael leaned back on his arms. “Shit… Tidus came up with that?”

“Well, he asked if I would stay. I sort of filled in the rest.”

Michael nodded. Then, “What would you do? If it weren’t for this, what would you be doing?”

She shrugged. “Probably teach. I don’t think I’d have it in me to get invested in another family like I am with you guys.”

He nodded again. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to see you go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He smiled before laughing. “Aw shit. That explains a lot actually.” He kept laughing.

“I’m sorry?” she asked, not getting the joke.

“I’m the single dad with a live-in babysitter. No wonder all my dates end horribly.”

“Oh geez!” she laughed with him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. That’s just…”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“That’s terrible. Like this is my job. Sorry it’s ruining your dates.”

“Nah, it’s not your fault. Guess some people are just immature. Like I couldn’t possibly resist the temptation of having a beautiful woman in my home.”

“Beautiful woman?” she blinked, turning her head to look at Michael with his flushed cheeks.

“I- I didn’t mean it like that,” he rushed. “I mean, you are. Beautiful. But I- no. I should stop talking now.”

“No. What were you gonna say?”

“Well… I mean I pay you to be here. It’s not like you’re here because you want to be. I mean, maybe you do now. I hope anyway. But, like you’re here because you’re doing a job. If I wasn’t paying you I doubt you’d stay.”

“Well I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t pay me because I already feel bad enough you let me live here rent free. Not because I don’t want to be here.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment. But, this is all hypothetical. I need to find a girl who won’t run away once she realizes what my life really entails first.”

Maya brought a finger to her lips in thought. “Hmm… yeah, good luck with that one.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah. So if you have any friends who are understanding like you, lemme know.”

She laughed with him. “Sorry. Just me, I’m afraid.”

“Bummer…”

“Ouch!” She swatted his arm playfully. “You’d be lucky to have me.”

“I am lucky to have you,” he corrected. “But… we…” he pointed back and forth between them. “It’d be stupid.”

“Terribly stupid,” she sighed in agreement. “Or at least that’s what I told Tidus when he asked. Well, I said it wasn’t simple. But same thing.”

Michael choked. “He asked you what?”

“He asked why you didn’t take me out. Since how you’re trying to find a woman that loves him as much as you do.”

“Shit… how’d that kid get so smart?”

“No idea,” she joked. “Must be his babysitter.”

“Can’t be me, that’s for damn sure. If I was smart, I’d know what to do right now.”

“What's your brain saying?”

“To shut up, go to bed, and to keep trying to make it work with other women the way it already works with you so I don’t fuck up a good thing.”

“And your heart?”

“To take the risk anyway because at least then maybe I’ll have a clear answer.”

“And which are you gonna listen to?”

“No idea.”

“That makes two of us.” Maya patted his leg as she stood up. “G’night, Michael.”

“Wait,” he said, his fingers wrapping around her wrist. “Two of us? You feel this way too?”

“Course I do. But that doesn’t matter. Does it?”

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself, tugging on her wrist so she fell down on his lap. “Heart wins.” His fingers stroked gently up her cheeks as he cradled her face in his hands, his lips brushing against hers.

She sighed into the kiss, tangling her own fingers in his soft hair, changing positions so she was straddling his lap. “Heart wins,” she agreed against his lips, as she started to pull away. “We can figure out the rest later.”

“Agreed,” he nodded frantically, green eyes shining brightly. “Fuck, c’mere.”

__

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[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #436

from a couple days ago again; still don’t feel like rewriting any answers.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? I don't own any. Have you ever taken a close up shot of a flower? A hell of a lot; I love doing that. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yup. But I don't like hard alcohol and only really drink light fruity stuff, and I'm apparently no lightweight, so I got to the point I just really didn't want to drink anymore. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I have felt very, very hopeless with photography lately that sometimes I'm tempted. I don't think I will, but... it's hard. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? It's been months. Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes, actually. I helped Jason paint his shelf black. Do you have a favorite quote? No. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No, but I have thought about it. I just really don't have nearly enough popularity among the local photographers to feel like I really need to design one. Did you love playing hide and seek as a kid? YES. I loved it. Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multiplication times tables? ... no lmao Have you ever been severely burned? Not severely, no. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I actually have more than once. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? I think a turkey? Are you good at coming up with jokes? God no. Where do you prefer to sit when you catch the bus? When I used to ride home with Jason from school, we always sat way in the back. Do you ever listen to music to fall asleep to? No. I did when I was younger, though. I went through a loooong phase of sleeping with my iPod. If your parents... or anybody else... found your cell phone, would they be horrified at any of the messages in your inbox/outbox? No. Do you get offended if someone repeatedly checks their mobile phone when you’re out for lunch or dinner? That's very rude. What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard somebody say recently? Anti-vaccination bullshit from my stepmother. :^) Think about the last person you kissed - was it the very first time that you kissed them? No. When you drink alcohol with friends, do you play drinking games? We never did. Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay? Nope. Who was the last person to call you? My psychiatrist. What food disgusts you the most? Things like sashimi and caviar. I also think rare meat like steak, especially when it's still bloody, is absolutely disgusting. I could go on and on about this, 'cuz I think a lot of food is really gross. One place you would never want to get lost in in the dark? The jungle. Yikes. So many dangerous creatures, so claustrophobic, and with the canopy, I'd assume it'd be EXTREMELY dark. And it rains so much in the jungle, so it'd be hard to hear danger approaching. One thing that always creeps you out? Perhaps #1 is seeing an unborn baby move from outside their mother's stomach. I will fucking scream and want to puke. If you could be roommates with anyone of your choice, who would you pick? SARA!!!!!!!!! Omfg I'd LOVE to have her as my roommate. We've actually talked about the possibility, but that's nowhere near set in stone. What is the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard? In light of recent events, a high contender is shit like "vaccines cause autism." Would you rather be buried or cremated when you die? I'd strongly prefer to be cremated. What is your favorite food around the holidays? Spiral honey ham, for one. I love Christmas treats like chocolate-covered peanuts, fudge, cookies, etc. etc... Tell me about the greatest prank you’ve ever pulled? I don't pull pranks. If you could have the power to cast any kind of spell, what kind of spell would you cast? Maybe enchanting the human population to not be such violent and hateful fucks??? Have you ever gotten a flu vaccination? Only for Covid. Double dates: a do or don’t? They are SO fun, but I do feel like it's good to have individual ones, too. Do you know any guitarists? Yes. My old friend Tommy actually plays the electric guitar in a band, and Juan was really good at it, too. How do you feel about full-length beards? They look good on some people. It varies with everyone. Do you have any relatives that have shunned you, or vice versa? Not currently. My half-sister stopped talking to me many years ago when I was a homophobic fuck, and I don't blame her. We're perfectly cool now! Has anyone ever posted a HORRIBLE picture of you for everyone to see? omg no Does/did your high school have pop machines? Yes. Have you ever gambled? Nah. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I am NEVER working retail again. I can't handle it. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman. :') Have you ever stringed green beans before? Yes, actually, with Colleen's in-laws. They had a big garden that I helped tend to sometimes. I absolutely hated it with how sweaty I got even then, it was WAY too hot, and my body was also weak back then to where bending down was extremely painful. I just never wanted to say no. Have you ever had any painful dental work done? If so, what? No. What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re bored? It really depends on what I feel like doing, but I think playing World of Warcraft tempts me most often when I'm unbearably bored. What did you watch today? I've just been rewatching Mortem3r play Monster Hunter World. That game looks soooo fun, I wanna try it. ;-; True or False: Yoshi is the cutest dinosaur ever? No. I adore dinosaurs and dinosaur media, so I could name a lot if I thought long enough. Who is the last person you spent money on? My niece. I still feel awful I didn't buy Ryder a gift by myself; I just could NOT decide what to get him. I'm very thankful that Mom let me use one she got him as "mine." They were bright, light-up golf balls, and he loooooved them. What is your relationship like with various members of your family? I have a biiig extended family, man, so I'll try to keep this as brief as possible. I am EXTREMELY close to my mom, like there is no way I'd be alive without her, and her support for me seems endless somehow. I love my dad very much too, but I don't see him nearly as much as I wish I did. He tries to support me however he's capable, and he always lets me know that he's there if I need him for anything. I love, am very proud of, and look up to my two sisters, but I'm also very envious of them and how they are successful adults with direction and big accomplishments. We are very different, so we have difficulty with really bonding and talking about things regularly, and it really makes me feel like a terrible sister. My nieces and nephew are absolute diamonds to me, and I'm especially close to Ash's oldest daughter Aubree. She and I are very similar in a lot of areas, so I really relate to her, even in her young age. Ryder really seems to like me, and I love that little rascal, too. :') My youngest niece Emerson is still only a baby, so she can't really communicate in words yet, but she is still a beautiful darling that I'd protect with my life in not even a blink. That covers who I consider my "immediate" family, really, at least that I see regularly. What’s something you disagree with about the way you were raised? I am very firmly against spanking, but my parents did it. I think since Ash's kids were born though, Mom's opinion changed on it. It was around that time, I know. She won't lay a hand on them. Who was the last person to add you as a friend on Facebook? I have no clue, actually. Who was the last person that asked if you were okay? *shrug* The last time you were in a car, who was driving? My mom. Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21? Never tried. What countries have you been to? I've never left the U.S. Honestly, is that car insured? I don't have my own car. What do you think about gay marriage? I vigorously support it. Do you like Carrie Underwood? I actually do. She has a beautiful voice. How far away do you live from your parents? I live with my mom. Idk how far I am from Dad, really... but not THAT far. How do you like your steak cooked? Medium well. Have you ever been to Mount Rushmore? No, and I don't want to. It is absolute vandalism. Where is your favorite place (that you have actually been to)? Chicago blew me away, but I think it's just because it was SO foreign to me. I actually don't like cities very much, but for a brief visit, I thought it was very cool. Do you believe places can really be haunted? Yes. Do you take anti-depressants? Sleeping pills? No. I took anti-depressants for I think most of my life, and they did nothing for me. Come to learn from the doctor who actually set my meds straight that anti-depressants for people with bipolarity do nothing but aggravate the symptoms of bipolarity, and I was living evidence. I take mood stabilizers for said disorder instead. I don't take sleeping pills; none seem to work for me. What’s your favourite brand of peanut butter? Maybe Skippy? Idk, I'm not very picky with pb. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. How many languages can you recite the alphabet in? Two. Do you like Bob Marley? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I can't stand his voice. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah, but I'm not a fan. Buffets gross me out. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We very rarely sit at the table. Have you been working hard to achieve something lately? If not, what was the last thing you worked hard to achieve? Losing weight, yes. I am honestly trying so hard at the gym, like to the point I've almost fallen many times as well as been overtaken by incredible nausea a lot. I don't feel like I'm over-working, necessarily, just working my ass off. Do you use ice cubes in your fountain drinks? No, because it waters the drink down and I hate it. Would you ever want your very own library, or do you not read enough for it to be worth it? No. I don't read nearly enough, and besides, can you imagine all the dust? What site did you originally start doing surveys on? I actually don't know... Have you ever used something other than water to make ice cubes? What did you do with them? I've actually never thought to do that. Would you ever willingly experience life temporarily without sight, hearing, or any of your other senses, simply to know what it is like? Fuck no. I would go insane. In what ways are you very judgmental? I'll judge the fuck out of rapists, child molesters, pedophiles, people like that with no goddamn shame. But your average person, I try not to judge very much. What is your main problem in life right now? It's hard to determine my main problem, honestly. There are a lot of issues going on in my life that've just piled up into one big tangled mess. Do your “favourites” change often? Definitely not. I've had the same favorites in so many topics for forever. Have you ever read a biography on someone? I've read Ozzy's autobiography, and I also read the Some Kind of Monster Metallica book, which was written by I want to say St. Anger's musical director? This was a very long time ago, and honestly, I thought it was pretty boring, so my memory is faint. You learned quite a bit about the band in his time with them, but damn, I don't care about the musical director al;skdfal;we. Do you know anyone who has ever been in a movie? Who and what movie were they in? What was their part? Not to my knowledge. I have an acquaintance who's had minor acting roles, but I don't believe she's ever been in a film. When was the last time you brought a pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? I want to say around two years ago (probably less) when we got my cat neutered. Have you ever made your way through a corn maze? No.

[krokonoko]

Lacho fake marriage AU outline

@sob-dylan after your messages I spent the entire day thinking about that Lalo/Nacho fake dating/marriage AU and while I can’t give this fandom the 30 chapter slow burn fanfic it deserves, I can give you my rundown of one!

Lalo’s an ambitionless spoilt little brat in his mid 40’s who always thought he could just coast through life, party and have a good time and fuck whoever he wants. Which was the case, until he screws up really bad and it’s revealed to everyone in no unclear details that he’s gay as the night is dark. He thought it wouldn’t be a big deal, that tio Hector would just turn a blind eye to it like he usually does. But this time, it’s different, and Lalo is running danger of getting disowned - in a best case scenario.

And that… actually hurts Lalo. Pissed and sulky that his own family, who he’d do everything for, is so ready to just throw him out over something as trivial as this, he actually starts developing some ambition. They wanna disown him? They won’t be able to, if he’s their boss. He’s gonna show them. He’s gonna show them all.

So he actually starts rivalling Hector’s son for position of Don Hector’s successor. (I’d say Hector never ended up in a wheelchair cuz he’d lend himself perfectly for an antagonistic power in the story.) There’s just one problem: Lalo’s got to be married for the job. Now he COULD just get himself a fake girlfriend - or he could piss everyone who spurned him off even more and get married to a guy. Now all he needs to do is find a man whom he trusts completely, who can handle himself in sticky situations, and who is ready to set foot into the lion’s den that is the Salamanca family and the cartel business.

What better candidate than dear Ignacio.

Nacho is of course not exactly enthusiastic about the proposal, and no promises of material wealth will change his mind. So Lalo strikes a deal with him. Complete immunity for Nacho and his dad, protection from within and outside of the Salamanca family, even after their business has concluded. Which it will, after Lalo has reached his goals, and then Nacho is free to go his merry way. Nacho agrees, under one more condition: Any physical affection happening between them is purely for show, and the moment they are in private, he will NOT let Lalo lay a single finger on him. He’s no hooker, and he will most definitely not become Lalo’s little plaything.

They shake hands on it, and before Nacho knows it, he’s in Mexico, at the Salamanca’s place, and the wedding preparations are already underway. Oh my god this would be my fav part because Nacho would be introduced to Lalo’s buddies, cuz you KNOW he’s got a huge circle of syccopha- I mean friends at home that he hangs out with all day. They laugh at all his jokes and they play poker with him and Lalo has missed them SO MUCHHH. Anyway, this would be. SUCH a good opportunity. To come up with some female Salamancas. Does Lalo have sisters? WHAT ABOUT LALO’S MOM. I WOULD FUCKING LOVE to read about Lalo’s mom. I bet she’s amazing, just as much of a spoilt little drama queen as he is, and Lalo is a TOTAL mommy’s boy, no one can convince me otherwise. (Maybe his dad has been out of the picture for a while, cuz I would really like to push this whole Hector-is-Lalo’s-father-figure angle.)

ANYWAY, back to Lalo and his mom. She’s a tough as nails lady, lofty and reserved, but overly protective of her son. They’re super close and affectionate with each other and it’s so weird for Nacho to see cause he thinks it’s the first time that he sees Lalo with someone that he seems to. Genuinely… CARE about?? Except for Hector, that is. But mamá is not a huge fan of Lalo getting married to Nacho, she can’t understand what the FUCK her son is doing there, she begs him to PLEASE stay under the radar with his caprices and tries to talk him out of it.

This in turn only goads on Lalo. He’s getting more and more tired of the way he’s being treated. It’s not that he actually has enough social awareness to deplore his family’s homophobia. For him, this is personal. He’s been a good boy, he’s loved his family and been loyal to them all his life, he’s kept his desires on the down low for all these years, now they’re turning on him because of one measly slip up?? He’s fed up, betrayed, and he’s gonna show them. And totally not win back their respect or anything, this is not what this is about at all, noooo~

There would of course be more Salamancas, most of them taking issue with the marriage, but I do absolutely adore the idea of overly supportive Tuco!! Just THINK about it, everyone greeting the newly married couple awkwardly or even with slight hostility, only Tuco barrels in like “YEEAHHH, where’s my favorite cousin?? You and my man here? You be good! Nacho, you’ll do good by Lalo, right? Riiiight!” And everyone grows more uncomfortable by the minute while Tuco can’t read a room for shit and he’s having SUCH a ball, he’s so PUMPED it’s not even funny.

There’d be all this tension between Nacho and the other Salamancas in the weeks after the wedding, it would be glorious.

And of course there’s the matter of Nacho and Lalo having to pretend they’re married for. Other reasons than a cold and calculated agreement. They don’t spend their entire day together, both taking care of various dealings. Nacho gets incorporated in the Salamanca’s business this side of the border and proves himself just as much of a reliable associate as he has been up North.

But whenever possible, they have to have dinner together, breakfast together, and sleep in the same bed. Fortunately, they’re both professional enough to arrange themselves with the situation quickly. Lalo is sometimes a bit flirty about it, but when Nacho makes clear that he doesn’t appreciate the come-ons, Lalo backs off.

Of course Lalo still reserves his right to fuck whoever he wants, just that he has to go back to being absolutely stealth about it. Only Nacho and his lovers know about it, and it’s not that Nacho disagrees with anything that’s happening, he’s not enough into Lalo to get jealous (yet), but this is starting to look a little bit weird to him, especially when he finds out that this is how it’s been for Lalo all his life.

Nacho doesn’t understand much about social awareness either, but he knows a repressed gay when he sees one. He gets all these insights into Lalo’s life, into how he grew up, and Nacho can’t help feeling at least the slightest bit of sympathy for how Lalo had to deny himself his entire life. Him being bi wasn’t always easy either, but at least he’s not a Salamanca! …Or at least, he didn’t use to be. Maybe Nacho talks about it to some of Lalo’s buddies, some of who maybe have even known Lalo since childhood, and who have seen him struggle with this all his life.

Just… UGH, this would be the perfect opportunity to explore just how much self-denial and internalized phobias have wreaked havoc in Lalo’s head! Because if you try to approach this from Lalo’s PoV, he’s not gonna see it at ALL. A river in Egypt, baby, that’s where Lalo is about this. He’s fine, he’s FINE, he’S   F I N E, he didn’t have dreams about tio Hector shooting him in the face as a kid after that incident in the desert back when he was ten, no, he’s fine, HE’S FINE!!! But his buddies? They’re probably not the princes of social graces either, but they have EYES and maybe one or two of them give enough of a shit about Lalo to actually have noticed what’s going on, and it would be so good to have them reveal that knowledge to Nacho!

So while Nacho starts seeing Lalo in a slightly different light (we’re talking VERY slightly, repressed gay or not, he’s still a murderous sociopath), but still, there’s part of him that grows protective over Lalo. They spend a couple of months together, and Nacho is starting to settle. He only has one half of a bed instead of a whole one, but other than that, the tasks are much the same as they used to be, the goddamn luxury in which he’s suddenly living doesn’t hurt either, and it’s almost scary how easy it is to get used to all of this.

Lalo’s PDAs don’t bother him, and neither do the hostile stares. This is his role, and he’s gonna play it. There would be so much time and space for lots of power play between Nacho and Hector here, or Nacho and the other Salamancas, and it would be a thing of beauty. They live their lives under the ever watchful and suspicious eyes of Hector Salamanca, and Nacho and Lalo are starting to form an excellent team. No one can really do anything against them cuz their work is solid as all hell, and Nacho’s growing more confident by the minute.

There’s just one problem, and that’s the fact that Lalo behaving all respectful towards him and the casual kisses they sometimes share to keep up appearances are kinda starting to linger on Nacho’s mind. Lalo takes actions that show Nacho that he was being absolutely serious about protecting him as part of their deal, and Nacho can’t remember the last time someone protected him.

Nacho becomes a bit less strict about the no-body-contact-in-private policy, lets Lalo give him a massage when he’s all tense and returns the favor, and it’s not lost on him that Lalo does express some signs of attraction towards him, though he explains it away with Lalo just being. You know. Lalo.

There’s just one problem. It’s been forever since Nacho has seen Manuel, and Nacho really feels like he should check up on him. But he knows it’s against their agreement for him to just go back to New Mexico whenever he feels like it. So he offers a mutual breaching of their rules: Lalo lets Nacho go to New Mexico for a couple of days, and in return, Nacho will sleep with Lalo. This is of course an offer that Nacho makes while already climbing into Lalo’s lap, just to hasten the decision making.

But after letting Nacho squirm for a second, Lalo declines. He gently pushes Nacho away and says that tio Hector wouldn’t be happy at all if Nacho just ran off like that. Why don’t they just take a little vacation together? And Nacho is like: “A vacation. In New Mexico.” And Lalo is like “Yeah idk either we’re gonna be bored out of our damn minds!” And Nacho actually laughs. He’s not happy about having to take Lalo with him, but it’s better than nothing.

So they go to New Mexico together, which officially counts as a road trip and I am a very happy boy. There’s gonna be endless mariachi songs and Lalo singing along, fun for everyone! They rent a little vacation home in Abq for a couple days, and Nacho invites Manuel over for dinner. Nacho is super nervous beforehand, but Lalo talks him down, tells him about how his cooking will immediately convince Manuel that he’s got himself the perfect son in law, and Nacho almost appreciates the sentiment - if only it were that easy.

Lalo lets Manuel in, and the most awkward dinner of all time ensues. Lalo aggressively tries to make conversation while Manuel and Nacho eat their food in complete silence, the tension between them so thick you could cut it with a knife. After the main course, Lalo excuses himself to, idk, look after the dessert that he left out on the patio table to cool. 

Finally, Nacho asks Manuel how the shop is, and Manuel is preeetty taciturn, just says yeah, it’s fine, and then Manuel opens his mouth and he’s just. So aghast at. Everything transpiring in front of him. Ignacio, what is going on here. You went to Mexico? Got married? To a man your dad’s never even seen? And half a year later you suddenly show up and wanna have dinner together?

And Nacho knows he is kidding himself if he thinks this is just magically gonna fix anything, but he just wanted to make sure his dad is okay. And concerning the man he married… well. He said who he is, right?

But Manuel’s like, he said his name was… Lalo?

And it finally dawns on Nacho that Manuel’s got no clue who he’s having dinner with. And Nacho just. Puts his face in his hands as if he could just hide, from this conversation, from his dad, from everything, and he murmurs: “Eduardo Salamanca.”

And his dad, he’s so deeply shocked, he just stares, and in that moment it really hits Nacho that through all these months of getting accustomed and settling in, through all the calculating and scheming that’s ruled his mindset day after day, he has forgotten who it is that he shares a bed with every night, even if it’s just symbolical.

“Salamanca”, he hears his dad repeat incredulously, and it’s like he’s seen this all before and he wants to say it, he wants to say that he’s doing all this just for his papá, but he can’t, and no matter what he does he won’t win his father’s love back, especially not with stunts like this, and when Manuel gets up to leave, Nacho can only follow him half-heartedly and watch him drive away into the night from the door, until his taillight vanishes in the dark.

Along comes Lalo, all chipper and acting completely clueless, like, what have I missed? Oh, your dad left so soon? What a shame, now he’s gonna miss dessert! But Nacho’s not listening, he’s leaving, getting his car keys, and Lalo… actually lets him.

Nacho just needs a couple of hours alone, driving through his hometown, and he’s lucky there’s so little traffic cuz he can barely see through the blur that’s suddenly befallen his vision, and he drives, and drives, past his old school, past Tampico Furniture, until it’s late in the night.

When he gets back, Lalo’s fallen asleep on the couch, and Nacho crawls on top of him, and starts kissing him, and he just doesn’t care, he needs this right now, he’s just desperate for something, anything.

Of course it doesn’t mean shit. It was just what Nacho needed, nothing more, nothing less. And when Lalo offers a little trip the next day, Nacho is glad to have something take his mind off of last night. Not that it was bad. Quiiite the opposite. He still has bite marks all over his neck and when he sees Lalo hop under the shower he notices the dark red streaks all the way down his back and uhm YES that is a THING that Nacho FEELS and MAYBE he just bit his lip at the sight but yeah. MAYBE he hit rock bottom yesterday night and then proceeded to have the most mindless, hottest sex of his entire life. Maybe. I just need Lalo and Nacho to be so sexually compatible in all the best and most horrible ways.

They take the trip back and somehow, with every mile away from Abq, Nacho’s dark thoughts dissipate a little bit more, as he returns into a world where he understands the problems, and he can handle them, and he’s in control, and he doesn’t owe anyone any explanations or emotional debts. 

This is where all the dramatic shit could happen, like Nacho taking on harder jobs, going on a shootout with the twins, or Lalo getting back from a deal gone wrong, or them having to pull off some dangerous stunt together, and there’s bullets flying and blood and injuries and fretting over the other one’s life and pulling each other out of harm’s way and don’t you dare die on me we still haven’t reached our goal yet we’ve come so far godDAMNIT DON’T YOU DARE!

And when Nacho wakes up, bandages all over, he expects to be alone, but instead there’s Lalo, who’s fallen asleep by his bedside, and. It makes Nacho feel all sorts of things, but he’s not ready, not yet, to acknowledge this. Also he’s just seen Lalo shoot three guys while grinning like a maniac so that’s a thing. 

Nacho’s in it for the long haul now, and he stays with Lalo through hardships and dangers. He eliminates every threat to Lalo effectively and efficiently and helps him on his rise to power. When someone schemes against Lalo, Nacho sniffs it out and saves him. When Hector or his son have plans to move against Lalo, Nacho’s there to thwart them. 

In time, the violent lifestyle he’s exposed to affects him less and less outwardly, though it doesn’t stop leaving marks on his psyche. Days blend together, and Nacho alternates between a life of domesticity and that of a crime lord with ease now. And when he beats a guy that he was supposed to torture into revealing information into a bloody pulp because his mind has turned into scorching rage against absolutely everything and everyone, when he wrests the canister from Lalo’s hand, douses the entire house in gasoline and flicks the match in with a dark and merciless glint in his eyes, it only takes until they’re back by the car that Lalo shoves him on the backseat and kisses him so hard and deep it feels like he’s drowning, the smell of gasoline and ash still fresh on their skin.

Idk whether Hector dies of natural causes, or whether Gus swoops in as a final boss to take care of him, but after Lalo and Nacho have reached their goal, and they could end it, they find new aims, like taking down Don Eladio, taking down Gus, new excuses, just like Nacho has always found excuses not to run away from the Salamancas. Lalo and Nacho are both uprooted and looking for closure, through the years, they’ve grown closer than they ever anticipated, know each other better than anyone else. 

And without realizing it, Nacho himself is slowly turning more and more into a true Salamanca.

[herohawks]

tattoo/actor!au part 0

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

so i received an ask in my inbox about dabi’s relationship with his siblings in this au, and i felt like i couldn’t really answer that unless i explained dabi’s bkg first and it got really outta hand so imma put it under the ‘read more’ cuz it’s a long one <3

It’s safe to say that Dabi’s relationship with his father is incredibly self-destructive at worst, and plain unhealthy at best. Before Shouto had come along, it’d been Touya bearing the entirety of their father’s expectations. Commercials, cameos, “Distressed Child #4” -- no role was off limits for Touya; his father is desperate to propel Touya into stardom, convinced that the earlier Touya makes a name for himself, the better his chances of surpassing living legend Yagi Toshinori. 

Enji is nothing if not persistently tenacious. Within two years of Touya’s debut, he lands a prominent role as a troubled child of a single mother, struggling with her own sense of self-worth while also navigating the treacherous waters of motherhood. The film itself doesn’t break any box office records, but the critics shower nothing but praise for Touya’s performance. It’s the breakthrough performance Enji had been waiting for. 

Touya’s entire childhood and early adolescence is spent being shepherded from one role to the next with no breaks in-between. He becomes resentful of everything: his father, for forcing him into this life; his siblings, Natsuo and Fuyumi, for getting an invisible pass out of showbiz because Touya’s already done it for them; the acting business, for allowing a child to give up his childhood for monetary gain; the fakes, who see the hand shaped bruises on his arms and neck, the bandages, the cuts (old and new, intentional and unintentional) and say nothing and look the other way; the fans and masses, for enabling the system that put Touya in this position in the first place.

He hates everyone and everything, but most of all, he hates himself. At thirteen, he’s sneaking cigs and booze from his older co-stars. They laugh when he sputters and coughs from his first drag, too wrapped up in themselves and their own problems to worry about the possible repercussions of giving a barely-teenager some cigarettes and cheap alcohol. At fourteen, he loses his virginity to some sleazy thrice married sixty-eight year old producer who tells him he’ll give Touya the part if he does this for him (Touya doesn’t get the part, and is too numb to care). By fifteen, he’s lost count of all the drugs he’s done and the people he’s slept with, willing to pop any pill, shoot any drug, and snort anything anyone gives him. Anything to escape his life for a few moments. 

Enji is not a dumb man. He knows what Touya’s doing, and he’s livid. Touya’s destroying their hard work, can’t he see that? Touya has an obligation to the people to be better. He needs to clean up his act.  But the more Enji tries to corral Touya back, the more Touya struggles to break free. He does more illegal shit and gets the added benefit of pissing off his old man even more. It’s not like his dad can make a scene about it lest he ruin his own reputation. 

Touya goes on a binge. He doesn’t show up for filming, is fired, then subsequently rehired when he sleeps with the very much married director. It’s fine, until the news breaks: a picture of Touya making out with the director on a non-descript balcony. It’s nothing short of an absolute scandal. Touya is ecstatic, because finally they - everyone - knows what a fuck up Touya is, and everyone can stop pretending that he’s this great actor with a bright future ahead of him. He’s finally free.

Except, it doesn’t go that way at all. The director is pulled from the movie, and the media has a field day following the court proceedings. Enji hires the best law firm in the country to spin this how he wants: the director as the disgusting predator who preyed on his hapless, helpless, innocent son who is also very much a minor. The mass eats it up, sending well wishes and starting support groups in Touya’s name. Everything is about to be swept under the rug, and Touya cannot let that happen. 

He goes to parties now to make sure the paparazzi notice him. He makes sure he’s seen in the most incriminating positions possible that leave no room for doubt of what he’s doing. He gets his stomach pumped, his dad throws him into a rehab and gives him an on-call therapist, even tries to instill a curfew and restrict his access to the outside world. It doesn’t work. The scandals, old and new, come out one after the other like a line of dominoes. Todoroki Enji’s carefully built plan is crumbling around him, and Touya revels in its destruction. 

Suddenly, there’s a shift. There’s only so much defamation one individual can take before people begin to wonder how deep it runs. The scrutiny turns to their family and the limelight Touya never wished for is thrust onto his other siblings. They speculate why Natsuo seemingly skipped class to go to the mall with his friends (it’d been a school trip). They ask why Shouto is constantly in and out of the hospital - perhaps his mother is neglecting him? They ogle at what a fine young woman Fuyumi is growing to be, just look at how “well-developed” she is for her age! 

It makes Touya sick. Because it’s one thing for him to be judged, tried, and executed for being fed up with his life; it’s another for the rest of his family to take the blame for Touya’s fuck ups. It’s not fair. He wonders if everyone’s life would be better without him in the picture. 

Once the idea is planted, it steadily takes root. There’s no running from who he is, but if he leaves, wears a different look and changes his name, abandoning his old life to start a new one - it might just work. With the trouble child gone, his family could breathe again and not have to worry about all of Touya’s screw ups reflecting back on them. His dad had worked so hard to build Touya up that he’d neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo; Touya thinks it’s safe to assume Enji would consider it too late to throw them into the business now. Shouto’s young enough, but Touya hopes that with how much of a failure he’s proven to be, that their old man will just throw in the towel and leave his little brother alone. 

So Touya, armed with shitty boxed hair dye and a backpack of his belongings, leaves the acting business behind.

[lovehugsandcandy]

Take Me Back to Places I Feel Loved In (Colt x MC, N*FW)

A/N: Title from “Boston” by Dermot Kennedy (along with the line “wandering ‘round in cities I feel lost in”). Longer A/N inside.

Pairing: Colt x MC, ROD

Length: 5275 words

Rating: N*FW (But a pretty light N*FW, at least. Swearing. Sexytimes.)

Summary: 5 times Ellie wasn’t alone for the night; 1 time Ellie wasn’t alone anymore.

A/N:  I’m sorry, I have been really behind and out of touch and just going through some shit so, if I missed something you sent me or an ask or a message or anything, I am so so sorry. Also, this feels like every story I have ever written but I can’t think of anything new and I’m sorry for that too. And also, 5+1 stories are apparently my jam because I like the structure cuz I can’t figure it out on my own and I’m sorry for that as well. This is my “I am dreadfully, existentially alone” piece, so I apologize for that too.

.

i.

“It’s just me.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief and flopped back against the bed, heart rate slowing from the petrified beat it hammered. She knew that voice like she knew her own name. She had wondered if she would ever hear that voice again.

It had been over a year since her terrifying race down the 405, over a year since Jason was put away and Hester and Wallace fled, over a year since her first day at Langston where she was thousands of miles from the corrupt cops and gangs of thieves in her past.

And yet, she never stopped looking over her shoulder.

Was it because she was afraid of what was behind her? Or was it because she wanted to see something that was never there?

And now, the summer after her freshman year, holed up in her childhood bedroom in her dad’s house, the room she knew better than any other place in the world, the room that no longer felt like home, her bedroom door opened. And in walked her past in flesh and blood.

“What time is it?” She rubbed her eyes, watching him shut her door. Without the hallway light, it was almost pitch black in her room, only slight glow from her laptop illuminating his sharp features as he sat in her desk chair to undo the laces on his boots.

“One.”

“What are you doing here?”

He didn’t answer, just finished taking off his boots and slipping his jacket onto the back of the chair, a hardened figure next to her desk, next to her science fair trophies and high school photo collage, the two parts of her life in sharp contrast. She inhaled when he dropped his elbows to his knees and cradled his head in his hands, head bowed in a way she had only seen once before.

“Colt…” She pulled the blanket back, sliding against the wall to make as much space as she could. “Colt, come here.”

He undid his jeans, belt buckle falling with a clank onto her rug, and made his way over, bed sinking under his weight. It was tiny, mattress perfect for a child but crowded with the weight of two troubled adults and a horrifying past that left scars both visible and broken wide only in the province of nightmares. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and he buried his head against her chest, burrowing against her as if she could provide some kind of solace from his world. She pulled the blanket over him link a cocoon, a minuscule hideaway where she could pretend that nothing existed outside this tiny bed and tiny mattress in her childhood bedroom.

“What happened?”

He only shook his head as she ran her fingers through his hair, soothing strokes that she hoped transmitted some comfort. 

“Colt, my dad will be here after-”

“I know.” His fingers curled into her t-shirt. “I won’t be here in the morning.”

She dropped a kiss on the top of his head, blinking tears from her eyes. When she drove across the country, leaving everything behind, she knew he was on a path that she couldn’t follow, a path he would need to walk alone. But she still desperately wished she could protect him from all the pain that rebuilding entailed.

She closed her eyes and saw the flames engulfing Kaneko Auto Body behind her eyelids.

And when she opened them again, true to his word, he was gone.

.

ii.

Ellie rubbed her hands over her face. Mona made this look easy. Mona also made everything look easy. And apparently, picking locks wasn’t easy, especially when you were running on zero sleep and carafes of caffeine. She had to be home before breakfast; she didn’t have time for failure.

She took a deep breath and resolved to try again, one more time. Slowly, she inserted the pick, turning it in her hands and listening carefully, tracking the click of successive pins as she clutched the knob and prayed. One last flick of her wrist and, finally, the knob turned and she was in.

She edged in, carefully, stubbing her toe before she snatched her phone from her pocket to light the way. Her eyes scoped out the new surroundings as she slowly shut the door. The hallway was narrow and her eyes were drawn to the corkboard in front of her, full of schedules and lists and notes in a very familiar scrawl. She stepped closer so she could trail her fingers over the script, feeling lighter now that she was touching something etched in his careful hand. 

She turned left, flashlight casting shadows against the wall as the hallway opened up into the shop floor. It looked like she remembered, bay doors in the same spot, rows of lifts and toolboxes an homage to the past, to the building that stood here before flames destroyed everything and everyone. She took a moment to admire it, marvel in the amount of work it must have taken to restore, before she slowly stepped up the stairs leading to the loft.

She hadn’t seen him since the summer, when he had barely spoken a word to her before falling into her bed. She hadn’t really understood it at the time but now, the first day of her sophomore year Thanksgiving break, when tests and papers and schoolwork lay heavy on her mind, now she understood the need to cling to someone, something, when everything was falling apart.

She edged the door open, silent as possible, and had just shut it behind her when his voice made her jump. “Hi, Ellie.” It was rough, hoarse and edged with a rasp that hinted at sleep deprivation and stress. She would have felt guilty but the relief that flew through her veins left no room for anything else.

“How’d you know it was me?”

He sat up to watch her, moonlight skating over his bare chest. “You cursed when you walked into the toolbox by the door.”

“Oh.” A smile flit over her lips. “Sorry.”

His lips quirked as he matched her grin but then fell as he took her in. She flushed under his gaze. She was sure she looked a mess, hair unkempt, clad in pajamas; she hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks. “What’s wrong?”

“I just…” She stepped closer to the bed. “I’m so tired, Colt.”

“Come here.” He opened the blanket, almost a mirror image of when she did the same for him, when she welcomed him into her childhood bedroom so he could fall apart. She bit her lip and felt weak as she toed her shoes off to slide in next to him.

He was so warm, bare chest hot against her cheek, and she could hear the steady thrum of his heart, loud and stable and solid in her ear. She took a deep breath. "School is hard. School is really, really hard.”

“I bet but you’re smarter than anyone I-”

“I’m not, I’m not,” she interjected, wailing, clenching her hands into fists. “I’m not smarter than the people there, they are-”

“You can’t think like that-”

“But I do, I do. Everyone has it together and I am just… ”

She trailed off as strong hands slid under her shirt, running lines up and down her spine, nonsense patterns at the small of her back. He hummed and she felt herself weaken against him, a heavy weight pressed down into his embrace.

He didn’t complain so she continued. “I just…everyone else is so smart and New York is so busy and chaotic, I’m just lost there and I have been since I started, and I constantly feel like I’m falling behind and no matter what I’m doing, I should be doing something else so I can’t even write a paper without panicking about the French conjugations I’m supposed to be working on and…” The words came out as a jumble against his skin. He fell silent, only nodded, hands never stopping their slow path up and down her back. A few times mid-monologue, she wondered if he fell asleep, but he was always focused on her when she lifted her head, eyes intent and lips pulled into a frown. And so she continued, talking and worrying and letting it all out until the caffeine left her blood and she could feel how tired she was, deep in her bones.

She could feel her eyes falling shut, worries and fears loud in the quiet space between them, her pain leaving only utter exhaustion in its wake. “Colt? What if I’m not enough?”

His whispered “you’re more than enough.” was the last thing she heard before sleep overtook her.

And when she edged out of bed, when the first rays of sunlight fell across her eyes, she watched him, for only a minute, pillowed in the covers, looking more peaceful than she remembered.

And, as she slipped down the hall to head home, she felt more at peace as well.

.

iii.

Finals were crowding out every other thought in Ellie’s mind as she dodged through incessant pedestrian traffic on her way back from her favorite coffee shop. Even this late at night, the city was densely packed, more people than LA crammed into a smaller area, all one on top of another, running ragged in a twisted hamster wheel with no end. She was still lonely, still lost, and navigating through Manhattan only made it worse.

At first, she loved the crowds, the vibrancy of the city an echo of life and possibility. Now, she had long since learned that it was all a facade. The blank dead eyes of the people she passed, hipsters and workers alike all staring at phones with headphones blaring, men in sharp suits steamrolling ahead, tourists dragging behind their heavy bags-all of it made her feel even more alone. She didn’t know how she could feel so alone when millions of people surrounded her, but the crowds of strangers and skyscrapers towering over her just reminded her of how small and solitary she really was. Her loneliness was palpable, a stabbing wound through the heart, a yearning gasp by her soul, a vague ache that stretched through the caverns of her mind and reminded her that she was thousands of miles from the people she loved.

Man, New York was hard.

She flashed her ID to get into her building and waited in the elevator, eyeing the three other people also going up, none of whom she had seen before and none of whom she would see again, and shifting the backpack on her shoulder. Once the doors opened, she trudged forward, feeling the weight of the books on her back and the depth of her exhaustion in every cell. She fished out her keys, turned the lock, and opened the door. She entered her single, dropped the bag, and screamed.

She managed to cut the noise off pretty quickly but it was still audible, so loud that the door next to hers flew open with a shout.

“I’m ok, Ingrid, I’m ok.” Ellie couldn’t pull her eyes from the shape on her bed, broad shoulders propped up on her pillows. “It was just a spider.”

That shape smirked. “A spider? Really? That’s what you’re going with?”

“A spider who can pick locks and only appears in my room in the still of night?” She rolled her eyes at him. “Sounds right. Colt, what the-? How did you get in?”

The grin that spread across his face was carefree, open. “How did you break into my garage?”

“You picked the lock to my dorm room?”

“Your school needs better security.”

“Colt…” She shook her head. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, quirking a shoulder as he watched her pull her books from her bag. “I was in the area. I have a deal tomorrow in LIC and I can’t miss it.” She crossed her arms until he continued, relenting under her glare. “I also wanted to check on you.” She looked at him dubiously. “I did. You, ah…you weren’t exactly 100% over Thanksgiving.”

She flushed, eyes dropping to the French book in her hands. “I know.” She bit her lip. “I’m sorry about tha-”

“Don’t be.” His eyes were earnest, honest. “Don’t be. You did the same for me. Last year.”

“When you broke into my house?”

His eyes clouded up and Ellie got the sense that he was looking through her, dullness gazing at something she couldn’t see. “When I had a rough time.”

“What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter now.” He shook his head and, just like that, he was back, eyes clear and looking at her fully, shrewdly. “How are you?”

“I’m…I’m ok.” He tilted his head, not fully believing her words. “I…finals are coming up. I just need to get through.”

“It’s almost midnight."

Her shoulders dropped. "I know. I just…” She trailed off. She couldn’t keep running at the pace she was going.

“Come here.”

She was across the bed in three steps, falling into bed next to him and burrowing into his t-shirt. “I’m better, I swear, I just-”

“Ellie, stop.” His careful hand lifted her chin, gentle, as if she were fragile and he could break her. Hell, she felt fragile and he could absolutely break her, just shatter her into a million pieces to be scattered into the dirt of New York, never to be recovered.  "Ellie…“ His fingers curved around the hinge of her jaw, his eyes so close to her that she was lost in their dark intensity, and she couldn’t stop herself from falling forwards, closing the distance between them.

Once her lips were warm, hot, scorching, once her spine was tingling, and her breath had been stolen by the seam of his lips, he pulled back to brush her hair off her face. Concern was etched on his face, in the clench of his jaw and every line in his forehead; she could feel tears starting to prick her eyes and willed them away before she spoke again. "I just…I feel so alone.”

“You’re not alone.” He bit his lip, flushed and plush from their kisses, and gathered her even closer. “You never are.”

But when she woke up, the bed was empty and only she remained.

.

iv.

The knob turned and Ellie smiled, triumphant. School was still hard but, apparently, she was getting better at some skills. She turned on the light of her phone before walking in, edging around the toolbox on the floor and taking a look around. It was just like she remembered, small hallway, cork board in front of her but, as her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she froze. There was a new addition to the board, a small white envelope with her name on it in thick blue sharpie.

She frowned and carefully pulled the thumb tack out. The envelope was heavy in her hand and she looked around, confused, before she slipped her index finger in the fold to tear it open. When her hand found jagged metal, she had to smile. A key. She held it beneath her phone, silver glinting the spotlight. She wondered how long it had been there, waiting for her.  At least it would be easier than breaking in.

She followed the path to the floor, slowly up the stairs, shutting the door behind her. She grinned triumphantly when there was no noise, thinking she had gotten in undetected, but her face fell when she saw the bed.

It was empty.

She looked around, wondering where he could be at midnight on a random Tuesday in June, before she sighed. She didn’t want to go home, not now; she needed to talk to him, lest he try to break into her dorm again only to find her away for a year. At least, that’s what she told herself, the desire to see him a hidden secret that lived in her blood, in the space between every cell that danced around her body and filtered through her heart.

“Colt?” Her whisper was met with only silence, only the dark night surrounding her. She glanced around the room once more, frowning when she didn’t see a familiar leather jacket.  She didn’t know what else to do but crawl into his bed, sliding in between the sheets and stretching out, hugging a pillow close. It smelled like that fancy hair gel he hid in the bathroom, mint evoking memories of her hands in his hair and his lips at her neck.

It was only a sub-par facsimile. It wasn’t the same, not even close, but it was enough that she could close her eyes and pretend and feel slightly better, slightly less alone. It was enough that she could fall into dreams where she wasn’t at school, where she wasn’t going to travel halfway around the world; dreams where things were different and their lives were intertwined by more than these stolen nights.

It was later than she thought when she woke up. Apparently, she slept well in his bed, encased in his warmth and scent and memories.

She sat up, slowly, watching the sunlight peek over the rooftops on 92nd, when a clang from downstairs made her pause. Now that she was listening closer, she could hear noise, the soft din of a crooning Spanish melody, an electric drill grinding on metal. There were people working downstairs.

She stepped down the stairs cautiously, squinting to see a couple men under an open hood, a pair of feet hanging out from underneath the car’s chassis. No one she recognized. Crap. She took a few more steps down, trying to be silent, eyeing the distance between her and the back door, when the drill stopped. 

She grimaced. She had been spotted. One of the men had seen her and gaped, elbowing his friend. Now that they were facing her, she could tell that they were brothers, likely twins, the only difference between them the tattoos that adorned the sides of their faces.

She nervously smiled as she walked down the rest of the stairs, hands in her pockets as she faced them.

“Oy, what the hell?” The creeper flew out from under the car, revealing a small girl, unnatural flash of fire engine red hair beneath a white bandana. “What are you fools do-?”

She stopped as her eyes fell on Ellie, widening as she crouched, then stood, exchanging a look with the twins.

Ellie gave a wave, awkward and small underneath the three pairs of strange eyes. “Hi.”

The girl raised her eyebrows and Ellie felt naked under her assessing gaze. “You must be Ellie. Boss Man and the Manic Man-Child are out of town on business but they should be back later today if you want to wait.” Her look turned dangerous, a leer that Ellie felt in her toes.

“Oh, no, I’m just gonna-” She gestured towards the door and, without waiting for another comment, she fled.

.

v.

She didn’t have to wait long.

Her dad was still shuffling around downstairs, the clanging of dishes loud over the drone of a documentary on the saran wrap industry, when her window slid open. Ellie held her breath as a boot swung over her windowsill, followed by a jean-clad leg, and then a leather-clad torso, and then a smirk-clad face.

He shut the window behind him as she studied him, finger to her lips and pointing downstairs to make sure he knew the need for quiet.

“I know. It’s why I didn’t break in through the door.” The smirk on his face was insufferable, absolutely intolerable, and she wanted to kiss it off his face. “I heard you came to see me.”

"Yeah.” She dropped her phone onto her bedside table. “I wanted to talk.” The fact that she wanted, desperately, to see him was unspoken.

He sat at the edge of her bed, hands in his pockets, eyes cautious as they mapped the features of her face. “What’s up?”

“I wanted you to know I wouldn’t be around in New York next year.” She hadn’t seen him in six months, time and distance weighing heavy on her mind. She wouldn’t be seeing him for longer soon.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m studying abroad for the year. In Paris.”

He beamed and laid against her bed, elbows propping him up over the pink fabric. “Ellie, that’s awesome. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks.” She looked at her hands. “I don’t think you can ride your motorcycle to Paris.”

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I can’t exactly get on an airplane right now, either.”

“I know.” She swallowed. “I couldn’t pass it up and-”

“Of course not. Ellie, that’s fantastic. When do you leave?”

“September, start of the school year.” She looked at him, lying on her bed like he belonged there;. “I won’t be back until next fall.”

He sat up, suddenly intent, and leaned towards her, eyes glinting suggestively in the light. “I am so proud of you. But maybe we should make the most of the time we have.”

“My dad’s downstairs.”

“I know that.” His eyes never lost their shine. 

She raised an eyebrow at him, trying to memorize everything, every curve of his lips, every look in his eyes, to encode in her brain when they were separated by more than locked doors, when land and water marked a distance neither could cross. “You know, I have spent lots of time thinking about how we would do this.”

“I’m listening.”

“I mean, it’s not often I have a boy in my room with my dad down the hall.” She gave a pointed look. “The bed creaks so that’s out. So we would have to be on the floor.”

His eyes lit up, playful, intrigued. “Really.”

“But I’d want the blanket there, so no one gets a rug burn.”

Colt quickly grabbed the blanket from her bed, movements fast and choppy. He laid it down on the floor, spreading it out as much as he could, enough to fit one college student and the boy she wouldn’t see for a long, long time. “Go on.”

“I’d want some music, something soft and sexy but loud enough that any noises might be hidden.”

He pulled out his phone, scrolling and frowning. “I have rap and Toby’s EDM mix, which I do not recommend by the way.”

“You’re lucky I have us covered.” She moved to her desk; after a few clicks of her laptop, the speakers started up a playlist she thought she would never get the chance to use.

“What next?” He stepped closer.

“I’d need to lock the door." 

"On it.” He brushed by her, hand skating over her hip before he turned the latch.

She grabbed a pillow off her bed and handed it over. “Maybe put this at the crack at the bottom, try to muffle the sounds.”

“You’ve really thought about this.” He pushed the pillow into position.

“I’ve had a lot of time to consider everything.”

“But there’s one thing you haven’t considered.” He stepped over to her, eyes dangerously flashing over her.

“What?”

He grabbed her by the hips to pull her flush against him, lips stopping inches from hers. “You’ve never been able to be quiet with me.”

And he was right. 

She had to cover her mouth with her hands when he laid her down, sliding her pants down shaky legs and replacing their warmth with his own. She had to bite her lip, hard, shock of pain and taste of iron barely enough when his tongue delved into her center and swirled teasing shapes around her nub of nerves. And she had to pull him down, lips pressed into his chest to muffle the shout when he swiveled his hips just so and she fell screaming into a place where there was only pleasure and warmth and she never felt alone.

They were still on the floor, lying on the wrinkled blanket with Colt’s fingers threading through her curls when she sighed. “I don’t like being so far from you.”

“You’re already across the country.” He traced a finger over her cheek and down her neck. “It’s only a tiny ocean beyond that.”

“I know.”

He pulled her closer, eyelashes fluttering against her cheek as he dropped kisses down her jaw. “I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?”

He pulled back to look at her, eyes sharp. “I told you I’d always be there. I meant it.”

She sighed, low in her throat, as his lips found her jaw again and continued a meandering path down. Colt only ever said what he meant but maybe he meant words unspoken as well, every intimate touch mapping a line of love across her body.

She was alone when she woke up, But she didn’t feel so alone. And maybe it didn’t make perfect sense, but it was a win in her book.

.

i.

“Ok, so now, the real question.” Ingrid paused until she had Ellie’s full attention. “Why aren’t you coming back to school?”

Ellie straightened the picture of the Eiffel Tower, hung over her new bed in her new apartment. “I dunno.” She shrugged one shoulder and avoided eye contact, instead busying herself in one of the giant boxes that contained the remnants of her life at Langston. “I guess I missed home and I had enough credits that I could graduate by only taking online classes and…”

“And?” Ingrid laid down on the bed, face melancholy, arms stretching from the wall to the edge of the mattress, long legs dangling over the side.

“And I was lonely.” Ellie grabbed a tiny French flag, another memento of her time in Paris, another year of wandering around a city she felt lost in, another year of being away from home and everything that she loved and everything that made her heart feel alive. “I just felt alone.” It was a loneliness that hung in her bones, inside the chambers of her heart, a pain that followed her like a shadow so every step she took echoed in the hollowness inside her.

“Ellie...you have me. And our friends at school. And your French advisor, who loves you. And the burrito guy at the campus center who always gives you extra guac.”

She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. “I know. It’s just-” Three successive raps at their front door made her pause. “Urgh. Who could that be?”

Ingrid jumped off the bed, flouncing out of the room. “I’ll get it.”

Ellie shrugged, intent on finally emptying her giant suitcase; she didn’t really want to see the welcome wagon from the apartment building anyways. However, Ingrid’s cutting greeting made her pause.

“Hello, criminal deviant who broke my best friend’s heart.”

Ellie’s heart was in her throat as she ran to the living room, feet pounding on the hardwood floor, sliding in just in time to see Colt raise his eyebrows. “Hello, passive aggressive girl from prom.”

“Oh no, there’s no passivity here. I’m just aggressive.” Ingrid’s smile was all teeth, a shark dressed in bleach-blond highlights and impeccable attire.

“Not in the circles I run in, but ok.” He shot her a pointed look. “Hello, aggressive girl from prom.“

“Better.” Ingrid glanced over her shoulder. “I like this one. He sounds like he can be trained.”

“EXCUSE ME?”

Ellie couldn’t stop blinking at the exchange, at Ingrid and Colt squaring off in the doorway. Under normal circumstances, she didn’t know who would win this battle of sarcasm and wit; however, Ingrid had it partially right. There was one person Colt would always answer to and it was up to her to end this exchange.

“Stop, you two, stop it.” She shot Ingrid a look before turning to Colt. She had been back in LA for two days; apparently, word of her arrival carried quickly. “What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ingrid answered for him, shooting a wry look between the two before striding to the couch to grab her purse. “I’m gonna go.”

“What?”

“I’ll see you before I head back east.” Ingrid threw Ellie an air kiss before setting her sights on Colt. “Don’t you hurt her or I’ll hurt you.”

He only raised his eyebrows, watching her float out the apartment door without a backwards glance. “When did you two become friends?”

“It was a whole thing,” Ellie chuckled before catching his eye. “Colt, why are you here?”

“You know why. I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys, though.”

“It’s ok,” Ellie shrugged. “I was just unpacking.”

He smirked, examining the place, eyes falling on the hallway behind her. “You want help?”

~~~~~

He was not help. 

Ellie’s suitcase lay abandoned on the floor as she watched him take in the walls, mostly bare, with some exceptions. He stood in front of her Eiffel Tower photo and ran a careful finger over the picture frame. “You’re not in this.”

“No. I took it.”

He looked at her, eyes intent on hers. “Did you have fun?”

“I…” She sighed and sat on the bed. “It was…an experience. Paris was big and the people were nice but…It wasn’t home.”

“Where is home, Ellie?”

She looked at her hands.

Colt sat next to her, still watching. “Is New York home?” He was close to her but they weren’t touching, a sliver of blanket between their thighs.

He had been on her mind when he was two thousand miles away. He had been all she could think about when he was five thousand miles away. 

Now that they were three inches apart, why weren’t they touching?

“You’re home.”

She could tell that he was expecting that answer when he beamed, hands leaping off his lap to circle her shoulders and pull her close. “Why did you come back to LA?” The question was muffled by her hair.

Her reply was muffled by the fact that her face was buried in her shoulder. “Don’t be an idiot.”

“Just tell me.”

She pulled back to frown at him. “You know the answer to that.”

“It doesn’t hurt to hear you say it.” He narrowed his eyes, peering at her like he was trying to figure out the intricacies of a job.

She sighed. “I came back for you, Colt.”

His lips were on hers before she could blink and she melted into him, melted into the one place where she felt safe and understood and not so alone. His arms wrapped around her, tight, and, in that moment, she knew that coming home was the right thing to do. 

She could feel herself relax, the stress and fear of the last year falling away like every piece of clothing that he removed with reverent hands and eager lips, mapping each new inch of skin he revealed. She fell back against the bed, pulling him against her, wrestling his clothes off so she could feel miles of warm skin over her, his heartbeat solid and real against hers.

It was hard to feel alone when someone was inside of you, even harder when their lips were painting your face in gentle kisses, each one a promise that she wouldn’t be alone, not anymore.

After, when they lay together in a sated heap, bodies and limbs intertwined so fully that she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began, she realized that she had never really been alone.

And when she woke up, sunlight bright against the bare walls and bathing Colt in an ethereal glow, she realized she wouldn’t be truly alone again.

.

Tags:

Perma @desiree-0816 @leelee10898 @emichelle @client-327 @choicesgremlin @brightpinkpeppercorn

ROD @omgjasminesimone @mskaneko

Colt

@deimosensblog @alegria1580  @choicesarehard @thefarrari @moonlit-girl-wonder @going-down-downtown@soniadotalves@jolietmaraud @flowerpowell@poeticscolt @zaira-oh-zaira @umiumichan @akrenich @sibella-plays-choices​  @maxwellsquidsuit  @liamzigmichael4ever​ @octobereighth @i-only-signed-up-for-fanfiction

[eerythingisshaka]

Mr. and Mrs. Stevens

This is my submission for @hoopshoney and @purple-apricots Black Panther Anniversary/Valentines Fic Fest!  Not sure if this fic goes with the theme of the fest and if its a bit....I don’t know, however I did a thing and that’s that on that!

Warnings:  Violence, Language, Sexual Situations

Word Count: 4k

Erik Killmonger x Black!OC

Prompt: “Try not to get blood on your clothes. We have dinner reservations in half an hour.”

Her phone trills in her bra as she checks herself out in the mirror.  The shift she picked up for a friend starts in 15 minutes and she hates when he calls beforehand.

Picking up the call she answers.  “Hey Erik.”

“Wassup baby girl?  You at work?”  His voice carries extra loud in her ear and kind of scratchy.

“Yeah actually.  So why are you calling?”  She asks in annoyance while applying her lippie.

“Aww, now don’t be like that.  You -- money tonight e--?  So don’t trip!”  His voice crackles in her ear.

She takes a step back to look over herself in the mirror, pushing her braids back and turning around to check her behind.  “The only thing I’m tripping over is why you obviously aren’t using the new AirPods I got you last month?  I can hear the 10.99 drugstore quality in my ear, it’s bringing down my mood.”  A loud sniff interrupts her train of thought as she sees a brunette leaning over the rim of a sink with a rolled up dollar bill.

Erik tuts at her.  “Come on, you know I’m a traditionalist when it comes to the audio experience!  I gotta, I gotta have, you know, an immersive, like, surround sound type of thing and like, the cords help-”

She leans on the sink in front of her.  “You lost one at the gym today huh?  When I called you and you said ‘shit shit shit!’ that was you dropping my money down the drain, huh?”

“Your money?  Since when is it your money only?”  Erik asks out the side of his mouth.

A girl taps her on the arm, wiping her nostrils as she holds out the dollar bill with a line left on the sink.  She shakes her head with a polite smile.  “Since I been doing all the work here.  These long nights, planning my own appointments, working these guys for tips with only my own damn wit, when they obviously want more!”

“Pssh, aight aight, calm down.  You know I appreciate this.  It’s OUR thing though, so don’t get your butt on your back with me.  I know you nervous cuz a high roller comin in today.”  Erik says calmly.

She picks up her bag and stuffs it in a locker, slamming it closed.  “Yeah, it’s basically now or never, Erik.  If I’m not what he’s looking for, he’s moving on and then we ain’t got shit!”

Erik shushes her softly.  “Chill, trust me.  You what he’s lookin for.  Guys like him love bitches like-”

“You better be kind and rewind that for me!”  She demands.  Erik always slipping his tongue at the wrong times, ignorant self.

Erik laughs.  “I don’t mean you!  He likes ‘females’ like you.  He studies them the most, you know?  That better?”

She sighs, choosing to ignore the still derogatory term.  “Fine.  You just be here when it’s all said and done.  I need you in times like this.”

“You do, huh?  I need you too, if you wearin whatever was in that bag you packed.  Shit looked tiny, so you ain’t covering much.”

She cackles out loud, her laugh bouncing off the walls of the room.  “Shut UP!  Don’t be silly right now!”

“Ain’t nuthin silly!  WE ain’t playing, you feel me?”  Erik says authoritatively.

She kicks her heel at the ground, biting her lip.  “I might be in a mood to see my friend backstage tonight.”

“Oh, so you claiming this dick right now?  Cuz, I thought this was MY dick!  Since I put in all the work around here, getting hard, staying hard, breaking your fucking back so all you gotta do is take it and you can barely handle that-”

“Oh Erik, fuck on with that.  Buh-bye!”

“You get it now?  Be good, DeDe.”

---

Johnny Rocket’s Adult Entertainment Club has a reputation for high profile clientele and catering to every kink imaginable.  Politicians, celebrities, CEOs, and anyone with a 7 figure or more annual salary has the possibility of getting in any night, however the waiting list was 6 months back, minimum.  If your name is powerful enough, you may receive a bump for the inconvenience, but there’s no way that list would move, as people kept looking for a chance to have an extravagant night inside.

One did not have to be looking for a touch from a stranger in order to enjoy themselves there, the club scene is just as hopping with exquisite seating, expensive liquors and miscellaneous party favors for the bold.  Tonight, Johnny Rocket’s is packed wall to wall for a birthday party of the man who runs the Upper West Side of Las Papeleras, of that’s what he would call it.  Mark Foley is the embodiment of greed; a shark tank businessman with a lust for power.  His monopoly of the financial district kept his pockets running over and the local law enforcement’s lined to keep his shady dealings going at an accelerated rate.  

His dealings started off with drug trades across the southern border of the United States, renting out the time of immigrants on the promise of Visa documents and safe keeping of their families on the road to citizenship.  This was a messy business however, as many of his vulnerable employees would be caught shortly after a drop or killed for being intercepted to ensure the details of his operation remained unknown.  It wouldn’t take much to cover his trail with his buddies in DC anyway.  Even with a successful run, Foley would instruct his subordinates to drop off the grid, leaving his pushers high and dry until ICE came for them eventually.  

But he was out of that game, now it is all about real estate.  Foley knew exactly where to upstart businesses for friends and confidants that would make him the richest man in America.  

“The rundown, dangerous, and poverty stricken  neighborhoods are nestled so conveniently between downtown and the burbs.  We just need to get those low lifes sucking off the teat of our taxpayer dollars to get off some extra dough, or get the fuck outta there.”  Foley slurs his words, picking up his tumbler of 12 year old whiskey.  

One of his associates respond, shaking his head.  “Ahh, come on, Foley.  Those people have been living there for so many fucking generations!  How could you uproot them like that, changing there way of life at the drop of a hat like that?  Where’s your heart?”

Foley blinks his eyes a couple of times, staring at his acquaintance from across the room for what seemed like hours.  The flashing, multi-colored lights of the club blur his vision as the bass of A$AP Rocky pounds at their temples.  

“Really?”  Foley asks loudly over the music, frozen with his drink in his hand.

The man laughs out loud, banging the back of the couch as he leans his head back in blissful humor.  “Fuck no!  I’m just fucking with you Foley, come on!”  He boasts, picking up a bottle of whiskey, clanging it against Foley’s glass.

Foley shakes as his hoarse laugh builds in his gut.  “Ohh, man, you had me going there for a second!  You can’t joke like that with me man, you’re still on probation with me.”

The associate combs his hair out of his face, adjusting his tailored, chocolate suede jacket.  “Let me have some fun, huh?  Anyway, you know what to do.  Call up Johnson to get in touch with Hesson about his eminent domain clause on the block, and kick those sons of bitches out on the concrete.  They’ll find a way, roaches never die, you know?  They just skedaddle on to a new nest to infest.”

Foley lights up a cigar, pointing it his way.  “Exactly.  I consider this motivation to do better for themselves.  Hell, once I clean up the pigsty, they can bring their credit score and occupation info, if they have one, and make a deposit with 6 months rent to settle in to the swanky new digs I transform those rat traps from!”

A waitress comes over in a leather miniskirt and thigh high boots with a fringed crop top that rests off her shoulder.  Half of her braids are bound on top of her head, with the rest cascading down her back.  Even in the dark room and the intensity of the strobing lights, her melanin shown beautifully rich, bringing the table to her full attention.

“Can I get you gentlemen another round?”  Her voice said with a sultry timbre, leaning forward to pick up bottle and adjoining glasses.    Some of her braids fall in the face of a hypnotized Foley who reached his thick hands through them, sniffing.

“Mmm, if you mean the juice, that’s not what I need another round of, sugar.”  Foley says wagging his eyebrows.

She looks over at him, pulling her braids back and out of his hands.  “You are Mark Foley, correct?”

He nods slowly, mouth half hanging open.  “I like the way you say my name, doll.”

“My name is Sade.  Your friend here made arrangements for us to...get to know each other a little better…”  Sade bites her lip, using her almond shaped eyes to invite Foley into the possibility.

He didn’t need too much convincing as he clapped his hands looking over at his associate.  “You sly dog!  You planned this for me?”

He shrugs. “Nothing but the best, for the man who holds my old hood in his hands.”  Raising the bottle up again in solidarity, Foley springs up out of the booth, grabbing Sade by the waist.

“This EXACTLY what I need!  Let’s not delay, drop those glasses at the bar and let’s boogie!”  Foley exclaims, leading Sade along and leaving his associate with the bill.

Foley’s hands were lit up over Sade’s body, feeling her soft and firm portions of her body with no shame as she led him to the quieter, private rooms in the bottom level of the club.  A black door marked with the number 8 in gold is where Sade took them before pausing to turn around and face him, snapping her fingers to regain his sober attention.

“Once we cross this threshold, you will need to behave yourself.  I won’t ask you again, otherwise consequences will be set.”  She says calmly.

Foley looks around the hallway, rubbing his hands together before whispering.  “Whatever you say, mistress.  I am at your command.”  His Dad-bod practically vibrated with excitement as she opened the door.  As it closed with a clang, Foley peers around to inspect the various chains, harnesses, chairs with binding mechanisms that decorated the room.

“Whew, this is-”

“SHUT UP!”  Sade yelled with a crack of a whip.  Foley turned around quickly in shock.

“Sade, I wasn’t-”

“Are you speaking out of turn after an order?”  Sade snarls.  In the midst of Foley looking around the room, she has put on a black lace mask covering her face and a nine tailed whip in one hand with ropes in the other.  

Foley shakes his head excitedly.  “My apologies!”

“Turn around and get on your knees.”  Sade says walking around the perimeter of the room like a lioness tracking her prey.  Foley does as he is told, fitting the profile of sub perfectly as he avoids eye contact.

“You are a stupid, worm-grubbing quim aren’t you?”  Sade says matter of factly, playing with the nine-tails in front of him.

Foley nods aggressively.

“ANSWER ME!  Don’t you have a tongue?!” Sade demands, this time cracking the whip across Foley’s arm.  

He shrieks.  “Agh!  Yes! Yes mistress, I am!  I do!”

“Hm, we’ll see about that later...Do you have a problem with authority?”  Foley stammers, not sure how to answer.  “A man of such wealth and status must know a thing or two about breaking rules….Are you going to break mine?”

“No mistress.  I’ll listen to every word!”  

Sade puts her heel into his chest, leaning against him on her knee as she speaks in his face.  “Have you ever let a Black person tell you what to do?”

Once again, Foley is at a loss for words as Sade runs a gloved hand through his thin, short strands of hair, before bringing the palm of her hand square across his cheek with a hard SLAP.

“That ends today.  Tell me Black Lives Matter.”  Sade commands with a dig of her heel that makes him wince.

“Ahh, Bl-Black Lives Matter.”  Foley says hesitantly.

Sade takes her foot off of him before cracking the whip on him again.  “LOUDER!”

“Black Lives Matter!  Thank God, they matter!”  Foley says more enthusiastically.

Sade looks him over with disgust.  “Take off your clothes as you recite every Black person you know that has contributed to the fabric of our nation.  Go!”

Foley starts with the buttons on his jacket and an ode to Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr.  (Sade had to whip him for leaving off the Jr.)  getting down to his briefs before stuttering on names, giving up before after he said Bill Cosby, holding his hands in front of his manhood.

“It’s not cold, put your hands down!”  Sade demanded.

He does do quickly, looking embarrassed at the small protrusion he can’t seem to control.

Sade shakes her hand tutting him.  “I’m glad you’re having fun.  It’s a shame though, how little you know.  The American private school system really failed you.  However I am in a generous mood and have every  intention on catching you up to speed.  With a little help from a friend.”

On cue, the door opens and in walks his associate.  

Foley protests.  “Whoa, hey, this may have been incorrect info you got.  I’m not into THAT.”  

Sade grips his hair at the root.  “Have my boot as a snack while the adults talk.”  Stomping her foot in front of him, Foley bends down on the concrete floor to kiss and lick her shoe.

Sade sighs, wiping her brow.  “Babysitting is so hard.  What took you so long Erik?”

He unbuttons his jacket sighing.  “His fucking card wouldn’t go through upstairs.  So this muthafucka owe me his life and some change now.”  

Erik picks up Foley’s pants, ruffling through his pockets for his wallet.

“Whoa, bro, what are you doing?  You aren’t a part of this!”  Foley says.  

Sade was not pleased with this interruption, bringing her boot around to land it squarely with his chin.  The crack of the impact echoed in the room as Foley flopped on his back, writhing in pain.

“What...the….FUCK!”  He yells out, blood starting to coat his fingers.

“Damn, Sade!”  Erik exclaimed, staring at his girl.

Sade inspects her boot.  “Shit, he got a damn scuff in it, now I’m really pissed.  Tie his ass up so we can move on.”  

Erik handles Foley like a ragdoll, turning him over and using Sade’s ropes to tie his hands behind his back.

“You fucking niggers don’t know who you’re dealing with!”  Foley says through clenched teeth.  

Erik pulls him up by his arms over to a part of the wall with a collar and chain attached to it.  Turning Foley around, he hooks his neck up to the contraption.

“You really want them to be your last words, bitch ass cunt?”   Erik says, tightening the collar on the last possible notch.   “Gotta use they language to get to em sometimes.”  Erik says to Sade.

Foley laughs nervously as tears fill his eyes.  “I could make you rich, man.  Get your mom out the ghetto.  You got any siblings?  You could take them anywhere!  I’ll turn your life around in ways you never seen, just let me out of here with this bitch!”

Sade sits on a stool trying to buff out the mark on her shoe.  “Erik, his voice is annoying me…”  She says in a sing-songy manner.  

Erik pulls out Foley’s phone from his pants pocket, holding it up to his face to unlock it.  

“Fuck!  I shoulda known that facial unlock would bite me in the ass.”

Erik opens his camera to take some pictures.  “Aww, shit!  You finna be the Belle of the Ball once these circulate through your contacts.  No way your bros at the Capitol can clean this mess up.”  Erik laughs, showing the gallery to Foley, who is whining for mercy.

“Come on!  Don’t do this!  Let’s talk this over!  You need some money?  Let me give you something something, and we can work this out.  No harm no foul!”

“Give him your bank login, we’ll handle the rest.”  Sade instructs from across the room.”

Foley shifts, blinking the sweat out of his eyes.  “I-I mean, you don’t wanna give me a figure first-”

Erik sends a strong blow to Foley’s gut, knocking the wind and dignity out of him.

“O...k…” Foley rasps as he coughs through his username and password for Erik to set up a transfer.

“Thanks for the paycheck, bro.”  Erik, takes some leather gloves off of a table, sliding them, flexing his fingers.  “No way in hell you can help me while you still got breath in your body.  And ain’t shit you can do for me.  That neighborhood you wanna run over so fuckin bad ain’t yours to take.  White folks can’t never miss out on a land deal, fuckin colonizers.”

Foley struggled against his bindings, becoming agitated.  “I am providing a service!  Something that will make their world better!”

Erik punches the wall next to his head, cracking the concrete.  “A world you ain’t got no plan to let them in?  They already got a place to stay, and you want them outta there cuz the living is too cheap and they barely affording that.  So instead of working for them, you’re just gonna build shit that they can’t afford, segregating them even more until they gotta leave.  Turning half the shit into fucking parking lots any damn way.”

Foley breathes heavily, swallowing hard.  “It’s so disappointing to hear you settling for less, bro.  It really is…”

Sade comes up behind Erik, handing him a club and brass knuckles.  

“I don’t need that shit, I got this.”  Erik insists with a wink.

Sade rolls her eyes.  “Try not to get blood on your clothes.  We have dinner reservations in an hour.”

As Erik takes off his jacket and dress shirt. Foley says, “Aye, what was it you said before?  Roaches always surviving?  What’s it to you when they’ll find another hole to crawl into?  Making babies and killing themselves, it’s the circle of life.  I'm just tired of seeing your Black asses fucking with my city.”

Erik reaches behind his back near his waistband to swiftly take take out his military issue knife, grabbing Foley by his neck, slamming his head into the wall.  As Foley neck folds sheath his hand, Erik brings the knife slowly to his eye socket as Foley closes his eyelids tightly.  That only makes the process more messy as he screams in excruciating pain while Erik skillfully gouges him.

“There.  Now you aint gotta see shit. That better?”  Sade says, walking away at this point when all she heard was the pounding of Erik’s fist in bone.  Foley’s feebled cries in pain didn’t last long when Erik socked him in his mouth, making him swallow his own teeth.  Sounded as if he even indulged in the knuckles and the club after all, as he dared Foley to say something again, until it was impossible to do so Sade sat in her seat, reviewing her manicure as the cacophony of pounds into Foley’s body turned soft.

Erik’s breathing was the only thing left as he made his way back over to Sade with a wild nature in his eyes, and blood coating his knuckles and face.

“Ohhh, look at you!  You’re never careful when I ask you to!”  Sade scolds him as she pulls out a handkerchief and water, wiping down his hands.

“You know how I get carried away in the moment.”  Erik says, voice gravelly as he stares at Sade.

Sade finishes off his hands, reaching for his face to clean.  “Mhm, I know.  Lucky for you, I brought a spare undershirt to change.  What about your pants…”  Sade brushed some dust near his crotch, feeling his dick twitch under her touch.  “That is enough!  I’m not cancelling this dinner.  It's been weeks in the making!”

Erik bites his lip, leaning over Sade as she digs through her bag.  “You blaming me when you out here dressed like that, kicking white folks in the face and not expecting me to wanna fuck you for that?”

Sade reaches for the collar of his shirt, tearing it halfway off his him with a blade between her teeth.  She takes it and aims it over his chest.  “You know how we celebrate…”

Applying pressure, she drags it slowly across his skin, red liquid bubbling along the length of the cut as Erik seethed.  The satisfying release of his skin allowing the penetration of her blade made her breath hitch in her chest. “We got another one, we mark the occasion.  Without him contacting his people in DC, no way they can settle a vote to gentrify now.”  

Sade runs her thumb along the blood trickling out, wiping it clean before bring her face in his chest to lick his wound.  The soft, muskiness of his skin is too tempting for her to let go as she caresses his chest.

Erik sighs deeply, taking one hand to grab her ass and the other wraps her braids around its knuckles pulling her face back as he devours her mouth hungrily.  Erik lifts her up and onto a nearby table with a thud, pulling her skirt up to her waist as she reaches to free him from his trousers.

“Ooh, dont make me scar your back up now.  This is lucky number 57?”  Sade chuckles as Erik brings ankles to his shoulders, leaning over her.

The way Erik looks at her, one might think she was his sworn enemy.  But this is Erik’s favorite time with Sade.  Not just fucking, but taking out white folks that aren’t doing shit for anyone but themselves, leaving a trail of dead brown and black bodies behind them.  Doing this vigilante justice together never got old.

“Try me. And a lot more to come.”  Erik promises as Sade kisses his keloid riddled arm, biting down once he entered her.

Sade peppered Erik with affection as they fucked.  Their roles easily switched from business to pleasure.  Sade being the brains behind most of the operations, and Erik being the muscle, all he needed was to be told where to go and he had the rest.  But as lovers, Erik took control of her, and she needed that change of pace.  

As Erik reaches for her throat, he put his weight on her, lapping at her neck as he digs her out desperately.  Sade gasped with each stroke he dropped inside of her, seeing stars as her breath quickened.  Her head fell to one side as she got a full view of the damage Erik did to Foley’s body.  The bruising, the bone jutting from his skin, blood pooling near his collapsed skull was all too much for Sade.   She came so hard, Erik nearly slipped in her wetness flooding between them, tightening up on Erik until he contributed his own fluids to their celebration.

Erik lays still on top of her panting.  “How much time left we got on the room?”

Sade rubs his back, still smooth but hopefully not for long once they continue their mission.  “45 minutes.”  She smacks his shoulders, willing him to roll off of her.  “You’re cleaning up by yourself this time.  Your dick is making me miss dinner, I’ve suffered enough.”

Erik laughs slow and deeply as he rubs his face, satisfied all the same.  “You need a mop-iana?”

RagTag  (it’s been so long since I wrote, I’m forgetting who likes to be tagged)

@chaneajoyyy @bidibidibombaclaat @wakanda-inspired