hot-girls-corner

[hot-girls-corner]

i think i found the genius in me again! - 31th August, 2023

wowowowowowoowowowowowo

i'm just over the sky with joy rn

today was the last exam, higher math. i fucking hate higher math cuz it's so hard. BUT. TODAY. the exam was DEADLY EASY.

like i NEVER expected the teachers to give SUCH AN EASY QUESTION WHAT-

the exam was so easy i finished it an hour before like- i'm speechless. A+ confirmed on this one 💅

i feel like i had the best performances in the subjects i hate the most. like i HATE bgs and higher math with all my bloor, sweat and tears. but they are also the ones i've had the best performance in this time 😅

it's really confusing and all but hey! at least i did well!

my dad is also happy to hear all of this. now just waiting for the results. he thinks i'd AT LEAST be in the top 10 this time (i was there before but lost my rank because of all the drama back in 9th grade...

*sigh*

i'm gonna go sky high this time. i've found my learning style and i swear it fits me so good 😍 i can finally study without feeling like i wanna die if not better.

i won't study today. i am planning for what i'll study tomorrow and just start from tomorrow. i wanna do an intense session tomorrow for about 6 hours minimum. maybe i would like to finish higher math properly because i know even though THIS one exam went good, my preparation was not solid enough. so i'll spend the hours on higher math :)

[hot-girls-corner]

reading books is the greatest hobby y'all, argue with the wall 💅 - 24th August, 2023

BOOK: Unknown | kth

#rr 24th August, 2023 Thursday 1:04 AM

I loved this book so much, i fucking cried at the V gone scene, and the whole book was a great masterpiece, a perfect mix of comedy, romance and action. I fucking loved it and i love YOU author. just marry me at this point bruh-

no like seriously i only have a few favorite books even though i read hundreds and it's in the top <3

love y'all, hopefully i'll read it someday again when i forget about it, i love when i forget books cuz i can reread it :)

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reading books is the greatest hobby y'all, argue with the wall 💅

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books make me feel emotions i didn't knew existed in me.

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I'm going to reread Creation next, the jjk ff. i had teary eyes and a broken heart in Unknown, but Creation made me fucking cry more than i did when i was depressed-

coughs

anyways- so another book that made me cry (very vulgar, sexual and violent stuff) was very memorable and fucked up, which was Just Us, and i swear i fucking don't want to re-read it, it will literally fuck up my mind again. when i first read it, my brain wasn't functioning properly for a few days like wtf-

but ngl the book was great and VERY memorable cuz even after a year i CLEARLY remember it because of the intense and excessive scenes. the last chapter had be crying, and the author was so brutal she didn't even leave any comdic quote and end to cheer me up again so i ended up depressed the whole day… fuck it, i loved it.

Creation had me pretty fucked up for a few days too, but more in a lovesick way, i would cry whenever than scene came up in my mind, and not to mention that i cried for an hour straight after that book ended… like THAT'S what you call true love bitches, argue with the goddamn wall-

i hate when good books come to an end, because my imaginary world fall apart with it

i should start studying physics now, tomorrow is my exam… can't believe i read 54 chapters, a goddamn book, instead of studying a mere chapter of physics for my exam-

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fuck it, i'mma just take a nap for 90 mins then wake up and study, too depressed to do anything now lol

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nvm i ended up sleeping, my exam went average, enough to pass

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i'm re-reading Creation again with my bestie, we started at the same time. I'm loving it lol. 10/10, would highly recommend 😎

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just finished work, 11:30 pm

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lmao sorry i ended up finishing it at around 2 am and i was crying for 2 hours straight 💀💀💀

[hot-girls-corner]

is it gon' be my academic genius era??? - 16th August, 2023

OMG OMG OMG ok ok so i was too busy the whole day with the exam and resting so got no time to journal BUT WTF I WROTE SO MUCH-

i had to take FOUR FUCKING EXTRA SHEETS AT EXAM, and my writing still wasn't done lol.

compared to me before, this was the fasted i've ever written in my life, like i never took more than 1 sheet, but this time FOUR. damn.

also my hand didn't hurt even after so much writing.

the only bad part is i missed a few marks and i won't be getting an A+, rather an A or A-. hoping for an A tho…

but hey! look at the bright side! i can literally confirm and A+ on the test exam next time! woohoo!

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finally at 11:50 i've started studying for tomorrow's test. i'm going more strategically by analyzing the book. i hope i can get through this too!

leggo!

[hot-girls-corner]

hurts so much that it's funny. - 15th August, 2023

good morning. i skipped two days of writing to be precise. why?

it's because too much was going on. 13th aug was fine

yesterday there was earthquake of around 5.2. the whole building got down, especially the ones living the upper part of the building cuz we wouldn't have much time to survive.

that was number 1 reason.

secondly, mom found out that i text people on messenger and also saw me sent out some pictures.

to be precise some VERY DECENT pictures, like just my face. and the chat history? FULLY DECENT DAMN NICE chat history. still i got like a "ultimate warning" from my parents and they also made me deactivate my acc and block the guys b4 doing that. i felt super bad for them. cuz

i'm ahanaf's only bff and he has no one else to talk about everything so openly… we were also planning to research on the scholarships and go together… i couldn't even tell him that my parents are making me do this… but i had to cutoff everything… he was inspired by me, he was one of the people who truly cared for me, and i was one of them for him. he's now gonna think i left him like his other friends too :(

on the other hand, tousif is also an introvert + he is a totally broken guy. domestic violence, no real friends, people stepping over him, what not? that guy found his safe place with me, i took care of him while he was depressed and got him out of it. i helped him continue his friendship with others. when no one was there to support him, i was there… he was very grateful to me, he also wanted me to share my pain, but i never did except once cuz i don't wanna hurt him. he didn't like it when i didn't share my pain. he sometimes wouldn't even believe that i was not in pain cuz he knows i'm too good at acting and hiding emotions. so blocking him and breaking contact like that is gonna go too harsh on him as i won't be returning for a few months now. and even when i do, i won't be able to talk to any boy or enter any group. only girls, that even of my own school… poor him… he's gonna think i ghosted him too :(

truly as a psychopath, it's not like i feel any pain to leave them, or any remorse after my parents' lecture. cuz according to them, i did so many "wrong" things, just by talking and sending the most decent pictures possible. but i know that's not the case, and the only thing is i shouldn't have sent pictures as he's not in my school. that's it. so no, i don't feel any regret.

also i didn't have to leave ANYTHING tbh. i think dad understands that, according to him (i think) i was ABOUT TO get on the wrong track but they came in just at the right time to stop me lol. that's why i don't think he thinks that i've done any other shit.

but let's talk about mom now 💀☕

she's thinking i've done some huge ass cyber crime by just talking to boys and i'm the most evil spoiled kid to ever exist and i haven't fixed myself after that incident. and that my whole life is gonna be ruined and blah blah blah what not 💀☕

like WHA- bro even my lil brother who is probably the most annoying kid on the planet in my opinion ALSO KNOWS THAT I AM FUCKING NICE NOW. i'm also the fav of two teachers and liked by other teachers (except that nurjahan shit, she's got personal problems with me cuz of my beauty 💅)

look. my life is ABSOLUTELY FINE. i just need to become a topper again. that's what's left. nothing else 🤷‍♀️

i have a job, i am pretty, i am popular, i am liked and on top of all, i'm charming and i am the CHARMER.

now if i become a topper again, then my life will be almost back on track. then my goal would be to be one of the toppers in Dhaka BOARD. although i know they won't be satisfied anyways but idc anymore. i'll just do what i'm satisfied with.

and i am definitely NOT satisfied with the results i've been getting, like bro wtf is this?

i can't just FAIL. i was THE topper once. now i've lost my ranking since class 9.

i have to make history now to be THE SENSATION.

EVERYONE will see me achieving EVERYTHING in life. i'll have a nice job, a good income, a great life, the best life partner 💅

like i'll show u guys what i'm worth bitches. anyone who underestimated me is gonna REGRET.

tomorrow is my exam, so if i didn't write all this and didn't vent out, i would be fucking hyperventilating starting from now till the day i get exam results 💀

now it feels lighter, at least i know my thoughts are expressed, maybe not to someone, but to a diary. to just write how i feel. because i have no one to talk to now. but that doesn't make me sad cuz i'm an introvert 🗿🗿🗿

i should start studying now, i got a ton to study. it's bengali exam anyways.

bai bai ^_^

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i've been overhydrating for like 2 year now, and i think now the symptoms are finally noticeable to me and is actually affecting me, according to my weight i'm only supposed to drink a liter everyday, where i drink a MINIMUM of 4 liters. this has been happening for like 2 years now and the symptoms were so light i never even noticed, nowadays i drink even more than 6 liters i think and i'm totally having headaches, high blood pressure and everything. now i really need to survive this or this is gonna end up VERY serious. my head is kinda spinning even when i'm writing this…

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it's been like 6 hours and i still feel the same… so light-headed, dizzy and tired… tomorrow is my exam… is this really what had to happen today??? i haven't even started studying 😭😭😭

if i don't recover today, my exam will NOT go as planned and i can't get good marks 😭💔

please Allah do something… i actually feel really bad for not being able to study the day before exam…

let me start working… i have no other choice… i can't just lay around all day and night… but i need to recover fast too… i DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

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ok so it's 8 pm now and i'm totally fine, full of energy (thanks to ben and skz)

now i can finish my work happily and study!

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i suddenly feel so empty, as if there's a void in me that just sucked everything.

tomorrow is my first model test, so i should be very nervous. but i am not. i should be studying. but i am not. i should be stressed. but i am not. i should be focusing. but i am not.

i'm procrastinating, and i know it's bad and will make me end up like before, but for some reason i still can't start… only 30 minutes left till 12 am and i got no shit done.

uhhhhhh what do i do now?

meh lemme just fresh up and speedrun the readings…

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bad night

[hot-girls-corner]

jeongin, u fkn choked me 💀 but also gave the energy to live today 😃 - 12th August, 2023

good morningggggggggggggggg

my period ended today so shower was the first thing i did after waking up. i woke up at 10:30 am, not bad considering i slept around 3 am last night.

i didn't have lunch yet. 2 hours gone already. now i should study.

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41 minutes in aaaaaaaaaaaaaand finished higher math chapter 1 cqs. lemme have lunch and then moving onto higher math chapter 5 cqs!

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ok i was having lunch and all but THIS PICTURE CHOKED ME FR-

WHAT BEHAVIOR IS THIS MR. YANG JEONGIN???

our baby bread is now daddy toast 🙂

i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done i'm done

i was tired before… but after seeing this, i have enough motivation to finish the whole higher math model test cqs in one day.

so that's what we'll do. way to go yang jeongin…

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BRUH

it took me 2 DAMN HOURS to complete higher math chapter 5, wtf i thought it was supposed to be easy? 〒▽〒

i'm disappointed… and sleepy… it took me more time because the maths were so hard that i became sleepy midway. still i did it… i can push through things, that's a new achievement in studies :D

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i just finished working, i didn't take a nap :) i'll get back to studying again after this subliminal ends

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ok so i worked, played and did everything but didn't study. ig i needed a break. i spent like 2 hours playing cats are liquid alits cuz it was just too fun and addicting.

good night <3

[hot-girls-corner]

is it a new start? - 6th August, 2023

waking up was hard today, but i managed it anyways.

mom was trynna wake me up since 7 am, then dad tried to wake me up at 8.

nothing worked. lol. i woke up at 11 am later. all alone at home. this is the first time in past month that i have woke up so late. probably cuz i was suffering from migraine.

i didn't have breakfast when i woke up. i just sat there for a while. then i took my phone and opened daraz to do nothing but scroll.

while scrolling i saw a mini thermal printer and i remembered that i want one.

i wanted it in a good price, but every product was too expensive on it's own. forget about free thermal paper rolls with them.

so i started a search on it, hoping to find something along the lines of what i want.

now i wouldn't say it. but almost miraculously i stumbled onto a store that was FULL of mini thermal printers. ngl i was happy that i found it cuz now all of them are from bangladesh, so i didn't have to worry about getting delivered a month later lol 💀

so now i went from the store's lowest price to highest price fiter and luckily i FOUND IT! i found one that sold the printer with 3 free thermal rolls in only 1810 bdt!

it was better than other products and stores in ALL factors. now i just needed to find a good thermal roll package 👀

AND guess how LUCKY i was in the morning! that store had thermal rolls too!

now that was not the best part. i had to find the best deal too. so i started searching anddddddddddddd the best deal i found was 10 thermal rolls at 448 bdt…. in normal price it was supposed to be 500 bdt, but the others were too expensive so it was the only reasonable price. but THEN i found ANOTHER package in their store that sold 20 thermal rolls at 553 bdt.

DID YOU HEAR THAT??? BRUH.

that was supposed to cost 1000 bdt but they ONLY PRICED IT 553 bdt! now that's a HUGE save.

now i went to the cart to see how much the total was.

ANOTHER good news. the delivery charge was FREE cuz the products were over 500 bdt from their store + i got 32 bdt extra discount lol.

so i thought "the delivery charge is free here, so i guess i could shop my nail polish from another store" and went on to the nailpolish store i was following.

i've been growing out my nails for the past 5 days, just cuz mom kept scolding me every now and then for literally finishing my nails by biting. it's not my fault cuz i bite my nails naturally whenever i think a lot. but tbh i fkn hate my own habit.

so anyways i went to the store and chose 4 nail polish that i thought would fit me and went back to cart.

ALSKFASLDFKASJFLASJKDFLK I WHAT-

the delivery charge was FREE from BOTH stores!!! PLUS they gave me a total of 100 bdt discount BRUH.

i swear i never found a better offer in my life. i WILL get this. no matter what.

but there were two things i had in mind-

i can't get these things SO easily like vini vidi vici. because the total was 3000 bdt and my mom DEFNITELY WON'T buy me so many things, that even SO expensive.

i didn't wanted these that easily either. i'd like a challenge.

so i waited till mom came home. we had snacks and all.

then i offered mom to buy me everything i have in cart if i can get good grades.

she said she wouldn buy not only what i have in cart BUT ALSO add MORE if i want to and she'll buy me EVERYTHING.

the only condition is - I have to get 80+ in ALL SUBJECTS in this model test.

welp. guess what. i accepted the offer in no hesitation.

now i MUST get 80+ in ALL my exams. nothing else fucking matters.

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it's 4 pm now. mom didn't make lunch, so now i'm hungry :^

nvm i'll manage.

i've been writing all this pausing my studying lol. i was too bored solving geometry questions so this was a good break!

i'll get back to studying now after freshing myself up.

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so i didn't study anymore after that but i sure had a good time working. i didn't waste my time on messenger (scrolled for sometime on daraz tho) so it was easier for me to not get distracted.

i also managed to get 3 new citation source which is great!

it was a good day. but i wish for better tomorrow! :)

good night <3