#positive writing questions

[catchameme]

A Marvelous Munday Meme

rpc and writing edition, featuring positive based questions regarding experiences, tips, opinions, etc..

What is a positive encounter or memory that stands out to you during your time in the rpc?

How do you stay motivated when writing? Do you have any tips?

Do you have a writing playlist that you listen to?

Do you think you've made a positive impact on those around you in the rpc?

Is there a muse / character you found refreshing to begin writing? What do you like most about writing that character?

Do you have a process of approach when writing, or do you gravitate towards whatever you or your muse is feeling? Do you mind sharing what your process looks like?

Are you a plotter or a pantser (someone who wings it)? Why are you one more so than the other, if applicable?

What do you think your best writing quality is?

Do you visualize scenarios in your head while writing?

Do you prefer character development and relationships, or plotlines / story progression?

Do you have any famous or otherwise, people who inspire you to write?

Is there anyone you've met in the rpc who has made a positive impact on you?

What is a way in which you handle or acknowledge stress / burnout / writer's block?

What is a song that brings you joy?

As far as writing scenarios that bring you happiness, what do those look like? (i.e. slice of life, domesticity, etc.. feel free to go into detail!)

In your opinion, what makes a great story?

What are some of your favorite tropes?

Do you have favorite reading genres that differ from your preferred writing area?

What is your favorite part of being a writer?

What is your favorite positive trait or habit you have given a character?

[positive-fandom-reminders]

"What's the point in writing this fic? The fandom is dead."

"What's the point in writing this fic? Everyone has moved on to something else."

"What's the point in writing this fic? It's a small/tiny/non existant fandom."

"What's the point in writing this fic? No one is here to read/kudos/comment."

"What's the point in writing this fic?"

Well.

The fandom is dead? You can keep that fandom alive with your fics. And a fandom never really dies, not even when the last person has left. They go dormant, decorated with the fics and fanart of the past, waiting for the next people to come along to create new things.

Everyone has moved on to something else? That's okay, people lose interest in things. And there are always people discovering new interests. Your fics will be a welcome discovery for new fans coming into your fandom. And, sometimes, old fans return and will be delighted to read new things they haven't seen before.

It's a small/tiny/non existant fandom? Then your fics are needed more than ever. Someone needs to write these fics, someone needs to put these blorbos into situations, someone needs to write the fix-it fics and AUs. You have that magic and power. And your fics will be appreciated in such a small space.

No one is here to read/kudos/comment? Yeah, maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow either. But even in big fandoms there are fics that are discovered by new readers years after they've been posted. I know it's hard not to get any response now, but your fics are like gifts in the eyes of readers desperately searching for them, especially when they're thinking this fandom might not even have any fics at all, or any fics like your fics,, and then they discover that they do. Because of you.

What's the point in writing this fic? Because you have stories inside of you and you should tell them. You deserve to let your creativity run wild with your favourite characters and worlds.

[prokopetz]

Folks tend to bring up Questionable Content as their go-to example of early generation webcomics that are somehow still updating which have gone in very strange directions, but I genuinely think Something Positive is weirder, in spite of having fewer fantastical elements now than it did back in the day. It's sort of an "ordinary people dealing with impossible situations" versus "mundane situations populated by the most eccentric people you've ever met" proposition.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 4

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

Hiii, I'm back at it again <3

I'm not gonna write a proper introduction this time around. You know the drill. Enjoy!

(And if you're new here, feel free to check out my posts on the other episodes linked above first.)

Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. Just like in ep3, I won't do that in ep4 either because Fadel and Style consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.

To recap: Last time we saw Style, he had just been left lying on the cold hard ground with a punch to the gut after having hooked up with Fadel in a random storage room. Just like at the end of ep2, at the end of ep3 they did not part on the best of terms either.

No. 1: Blissful Dreams

Even though the hook-up ended rather painfully for Style, and even though the hook-up itself may not have been quite what Style dreamed of, it's still left quite a mark on him. So much so, that he even dreams about it that night. So much so, that this dream even affects him in real life the next morning.

"Crap," Style swears. This wasn't the plan. Style may have a bit of a problem now. And over the course of this episode we'll find out just how much of a problem Style actually has now, because the dream hasn't only affected him physically, but the reality that inspired the dream has also affected him emotionally.

No. 2: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

The majority of the interactions Style has had with Fadel so far have ended with Fadel either forcing Style to leave (even to the point of physically dragging him away) or with Fadel abandoning Style. Even if from Style's perspective it may not seem like his actions have much of a positive effect on Fadel, I think deep down he does sense that he's managing to worm his way into Fadel's life after all. In any case, Style is not giving up no matter how many times Fadel will ditch him. However, since none of the strategies he's tried so far have seemed to really bear fruit, he now changes course again: disappear for a bit, so that he'll miss you. This strategy works exceptionally well, but Style won't know about it until about two thirds into the episode.

No. 3: Blue-Balled

Despite his resolution to stay away from Fadel to make him miss him, Style fails to hold out for long and is back rather sooner than later. As @secriden points out, Style "comes running to Fadel the second he hears about Fadel asking about him" (quoted from @secriden). Style even explicitly says that he hadn't planned on stopping by, but then "some auntie told me someone asked about me". Style has tried out a new strategy that he hasn't gone with before, learned that it actually did have some sort of affect on Fadel, and immediately rushes to confirm this for himself. Within the first 30 seconds (20 seconds, to be exact!) of Style entering the kitchen he asks Fadel twice if Fadel has missed him. It's literally the second and the fifth sentence out of his mouth when he shows up. This is important info to Style, he needs to know if Fadel has missed him and he needs to know immediately. Style has already started to develop positive feelings towards Fadel over the course of episode 3 and their little storage room fling has influenced that development even more. Style needs to know if Fadel feels the same way. In fact, he downright assumes that Fadel feels the same way: it's in the way he is so satisfied and smug when he walks through the door. Style is very happy about this.

Fadel, however, shoots him down. Style's smile fades, but I don't think it's necessarily because he's hurt or disappointed or wasn't expecting this reaction. No, Fadel has reacted like this to about 90% of the things Style has said to him the entire time they've known each other. Style backs up a bit, but the way he looks at Fadel seems curious, like he's searching for something, like there is a question on his mind. Why does he STILL keep insisting like this, why does he STILL go for rejection when evidence points to the opposite?

Reminder: Last time the two of them saw each other, Style was way out of line and Fadel ended up punching him. Style was also quite upset that Fadel would sleep with him and immediately ditch him. In their last meeting, they didn't part on the best of terms.

So Fadel claims he didn't miss Style (despite evidence saying otherwise) and that Style annoys him because he messes up Fadel's routine and Style thinks about it for a moment, contemplates what Fadel's problem could be with him this time that could make him act like that and then comes to a conclusion as to what it might be:

He lets Fadel know that he's not angry at him for what happened the night before. When Style says "I was asking for it", I'm not entirely convinced he's referring to his unserious behavior at the group meeting. I'm not sure he's actually realized that his behavior was disrespectful. After all, he was "rewarded" with sex for it. Plus, the next thing he says is: "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are". I think this refers to their confrontation and verbal exchange right around Fadel punching Style. I already touched on Style not being scared of Fadel in my ep 3 meta:

Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. [...] When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he [...] is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. [...] It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat.

(Bolded for emphasis)

Style was very fearless the night before, which is why I think when Style says "I was asking for it" he's referring specifically to how Fadel was threatening him and how Style put up a fight in response. He "was asking for it", because he didn't move out of Fadel's way despite Fadel making it very clear what the consequences of Style's stubbornness would be. Fadel got scary in their last meeting, and now Style tells him "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I’m hooked". While in episode 3 the "I'm not scared of you" was implicit in his actions, Style now tells him explicitly in words.

If you've read my episode 3 meta, you'll know that a running theme throughout the entire post ended up being the question of whether Style really meant all the things he said (esp the flirty things) or if it was all just empty words. Here in the kitchen? Style means every single word, every flirty sentence that he utters. In episode 3, when he bugs Fadel at the running track or when he tells Fadel that he likes and wants him right before they hook up at the end of the episode, there is such an air of loudness to his demeanor. In contrast, when Style tells Fadel "I'm hooked" and asks him what he has to do to win him over, there is much more tranquility to it. Even his voice is calmer, there is no trace of his usual dramatic flair. Style is much more grounded here compared to some of his flirting (attempts) in previous episodes.

Style is being serious when he says "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I’m hooked", he really means it. But Fadel only looks at him for a moment, squints his eyes briefly, and wordlessly directs his focus back on his herbs, signaling to Style Yeah sure whatever, I don't care, you're a burden and an inconvenience to me. This is yet another very predictable reaction and Style isn't surprised by it, but he's definitely a little annoyed now that he's still not getting through to Fadel, that Fadel still won't admit that he does want Style around and has started taking a liking to him. So Style leans closer to Fadel again and asks what it will take for Style to win him over. Again, Style is being serious about it, his usual over the top flair is missing. He isn't doing this for show, he's not playing anything up because someone else asked him to or because he'll gain something out of it. Style is asking because he genuinely wants to know for no one but himself. Style genuinely cares now.

But Fadel tells Style to fuck off. Not literally, of course (his actual words are "Get out of my face"), but "fuck off" is certainly the subtext of it. And that subtext reaches Style clear as day. Instead of following Fadel's order, he's gonna be a little shit about it now.

"Fuck", you say? Gladly. Malicious compliance with the subtext. Style walks around the table. "I know a guy like you just needs a little nudge."

Again, this time around I do think Style means all the flirty shit that he says. It's in the way his tone is much more calm and quiet and how everything he says is much more deliberate, much more calculated. It's a similar vibe to that time in the gym when he told Fadel to call him any time if he needed a spotter, which, if you've read my first meta post of this series, is a scene you'll know I've determined to be the first time Style genuinely flirts with Fadel for the purpose of flirting and not for any other motivations such as revenge. And now here in the kitchen he's also flirting for the purpose of flirting again. His words aren't just empty words.

Another way we can tell that Style genuinely wants to get into Fadel's pants right there and then is by the way he gets handsy. In episode 3 he doesn't really touch Fadel when he spouts all the sexual innuendos at him at the running track. The only time Style touches him in that scene is when he squeezes Fadel's man boob in order to emphasize the word "heart". Or in the storage room, even though he claims to want Fadel, Style doesn't touch Fadel either during that entire conversation before they get it going. In fact, the only time he touches Fadel before Fadel starts kissing him is to remove Fadel's hand from him. In contrast, the sauna scene in episode 2 showed us that when Style actually, genuinely wants to sleep with Fadel, he'll start touching Fadel in suggestive places, will even go as far as shamelessly stick his hands down Fadel's pants (or, uh, towel in that case). And even though he didn't exactly get handsy with Fadel at the work-out bench, despite my claims of this interaction being the very first time he genuinely flirts with Fadel, well... Style may have not been handsy, but he sure got kneely:

In the kitchen in episode 4 every flirty thing Style says is an attempt at getting into Fadel's pants again (Oh, how very much the storage room fling has left its mark on Style!). Style genuinely wants this, genuinely wants him. Every single one of Style's actions underlines that as well. And then Fadel actually maneuvers him onto the kitchen table. Style is elated.

At this point I want to once again take a little detour to @clemelntine's meta on each of the boys' sexual fantasies of one other and what that means for the storage room hook-up. If you remember, she writes:

No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.

Not only do we see this play out in the storage room in the way Style gladly gives Fadel full control over his body, but we see this pattern continue in the kitchen. Style is very proactive in showing just how much he wants to get into Fadel's pants but the moment Fadel seemingly folds and goes along with it, Style lets Fadel put him on the kitchen table with no resistance whatsoever and eagerly awaits whatever Fadel has in store for him this time, letting Fadel have full control over the situation and his body again.

Whenever Fadel has blocked or rejected or ignored Style in this scene so far, it has not come as a surprise to Style a single time. This is what Fadel does. Style is used to it. It might annoy or disgruntle him at times, but overall he is used to it. But when Fadel drops "You won’t ever get what you want" and leaves him hanging? This time around it hits Style completely out of left field. Style was so caught up in his euphoria, that he didn't see this coming at all (unlike me, the audience, who was just sitting there going "ohh shit oh damn this is gonna be another fake-out" the moment Fadel grabbed Style's waist and turned him towards the table dfjkdf). After all, Fadel did sleep with him the night before, and so Style probably completely forgot that Fadel could dump him at any moment. In fact, he was probably confident that Fadel sleeping with him the night before and now asking about him at the market when Style failed to show up were signs that Fadel had started to develop feelings for him as well. And if Fadel has feelings for him now, then he would likely also want this, so why would Fadel ditch him? But Fadel does. Style is angry and he's hurt and he's disappointed, but Fadel's rejection hits him so much out of nowhere that I think he actually takes a while to process what has just happened and how to feel about it and how to react. Usually in situations like this, Style will put up a fight with Fadel until one of them wins, but this time around he is so stupefied that he immediately moves towards the door when Fadel shoves him towards it without firmly standing his ground and fighting Fadel about it first. Style does yell at Fadel that he won't let Fadel ditch him and when Fadel comes at him again, just for a short moment Style is about to stand his ground, but then Style shoves him away and leaves the kitchen angrily, instead of fighting him.

While I do think Style is hurt by Fadel's actions, I think anger and shock are his leading emotions here as he storms off. I think the hurt only really properly starts coming out and taking over once Style's shock has worn off and he's processed the situation.

No. 4: OnlyFans

The immediate shock of the situation has now worn off, Style has had a little time to process and now he's ready to fight again. There is still so much anger in Style, but now we can also see just how hurt he actually is. This is even more evident when we go back to episodes 1 and 2 where we've seen this whole thing play out before: Fadel humiliates Style in private and Style retaliates by humiliating Fadel in public. Fadel drags Style out of the diner by his feet in the privacy of the closed restaurant. Style yells at him in front of everyone at a busy market place in return. Fadel leaves Style hanging in the privacy of the diner kitchen whose only staff is Fadel himself. Style yells at him in front of every customer at the restaurant in return.

When Fadel drags Style out of the restaurant in episode 1, Style is of course angry and humiliated. And sure, it did hurt his pride, but it's mostly just that. Fadel, at this point, is mostly just some weird, grumpy dude to him that he has now been hired to hit on. Back then Style wasn't expecting that fake-out either, but it doesn't leave him as stunned as it did this time in the kitchen. In episode 1, he even tries to fight Fadel. He can't do much while he's being pulled along the floor, but as soon as Style is back on his feet he immediately starts raging at the door, pulling at the handles and banging at it. In the kitchen, Style is too stunned to put up a fight and actively runs away instead of fighting Fadel.

When Style yells at Fadel in the market place, while it comes from a place of revenge it's still something he does for show. His words are loud and dramatic and they're for everyone around them to hear more than they are for Fadel himself. It's all a public performance to Style. And the audience is everyone at the market. It's about making everyone see how "bad" of a guy Fadel is and it doesn't really matter whether Fadel is listening to his words or not as long as his words reach his true audience and they believe him. Style is clearly having fun yelling at Fadel while also using the chance to blow off some steam from his previous annoyances with Fadel. When Fadel yields, Style immediately lets it go and chills again.

When Style yells at Fadel at the diner, he's once again causing a scene in public, but this time his words are for Fadel to hear, not for the strangers around them. The fact that there's strangers around them is just a welcome bonus and I think in that moment Style doesn't even really care if any of them are actually listening in or not, as long as his words reach Fadel. Style's voice is sharp as a knife, sharper than we've ever heard it before, and every sentence he utters is a stab at Fadel. When Fadel hands him the apron and tells him to leave, Style agrees, but he speaks out a warning first ("But just keep in mind: Nobody gets to nail and bail me."). His fighting spirit has come back, and when Fadel launches a counterattack ("I’ll be the first"), Style does not back down this time around like he did earlier in the kitchen. It's Fadel who walks away this time and Style reminds him that he'll continue to fight him ("A guy like Style won’t back down"). It's only when he walks out of the restaurant that he turns his argument with Fadel into an actual public performance. It's only when he invites everyone at the restaurant to take pictures of him that his words are for show and for his audience to hear.

We've just watched a situation that we've seen before play out but this time around it's very different. Because this time around Fadel actually means something to Style. And this time around Style has already slept with Fadel, which also meant something to him. I'm not entirely sure Style has quite figured out what exactly it all means to him and I also don't think he's head over heels in love with Fadel yet, but he sure is starting to have many emotions. While Style was also enraged back in episode 1 after Fadel dragged him out of the diner, his anger has leveled up now because this time around, underneath all of that anger, Style is also very hurt. They were starting to make progress and Style even got to celebrate small victories along the way (Fadel making him a burger, Fadel actually sleeping with him, Fadel asking about his whereabouts). Style was starting to get somewhere with Fadel, was slowly starting to develop some feelings of his own for Fadel, and Fadel just goes and kicks down Style's sandcastle. What's more, Style has made it very clear to Fadel how he feels about getting nailed and bailed, and then Fadel just goes and does it on purpose.

Style is so angry and hurt that this time around just one public yelling isn't enough. This time he goes for a round 2.

No. 5: A Ruined Man

Style is back at the support group. This time it's not to find out more about Fadel's backstory, this time he is here because he has a message for Fadel. And this time Style's distress isn't cringe, because this time the situation is serious to him. He is seriously angry, and he is seriously hurt, and it's important to him that Fadel is fully aware of it, aware of what he's done to Style.

"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."

Oh, Style. I hope you don't end up eating your own words later when Fadel finds out why exactly you were hitting on him and trying to get him to fall for you in the first place.

No. 6: Are These Systoms of Being Pregarnt?

This time Fadel is so done with Style that he drags him away in front of everyone else instead of waiting until no one is around. And Style is finally able to have somewhat of a civil conversation with Fadel again. While he is still angry at Fadel since they still haven't cleared up their quarrel, he is no longer outright yelling at him or attacking Fadel with his words like he was at the diner or in the group meeting just now. The tone of his voice is softer and also his dramatic flair is back when he goes on and on about how he might as well be pregnant. And we also learn what exactly it is that Style wants from Fadel: "You slept with me, so take responsibility for it."

I've already talked at length about why I think Style isn't one for casual, no strings attached one-night stands in my ep3 meta, and Style's words here highlight this once again. The storage room sex mattered to Style. And I don't think it mattered to him because it was a step closer to fulfilling the mission he's been sent on and a step closer to getting the car of his dreams.

If you read my ep3 meta, you'll know that I mention a couple of times that Style is developing "positive feelings" for Fadel. Phrasing it like this rather than phrasing it as "romantic feelings" or "starting to like" was a very deliberate decision. Because I don't think Style was quite there yet in episode 3. He still had many other ulterior motivations and intentions going on, be it Kant's "hit on Fadel so I can get to Bison" mission that Style gets a car out of or Style being nosy about Fadel's lore. If you remember, at the beginning of this meta when Style woke up with a boner I said Style may have a bit of a problem now. The problem is his own feelings – this whole episode hasn't been about Kant's mission or the car anymore (or about Style finding out Fadel's backstory). Instead, this whole episode we've been exploring Style's real feelings, his own desires. Style has started to care when it comes to Fadel, has started to genuinely want him. Style is starting to genuinely like Fadel now. He even lets it slip during the support group meeting:

"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."

And yes, one could argue that he's been saying he likes Fadel ever since Kant set him on Fadel and that Style, in fact, has said he likes Fadel many, many times before, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. But I think this time it is in fact different. I think this time he means it. Because if it was just a lie, if those were just empty words, then Fadel dumping him in the kitchen wouldn't have hurt so much. And at this point, I think Style's hurt isn't only about being dumped in the kitchen but also about being ditched in the storage room. Style may have said he won't hold what happened back then against Fadel, but maybe deep down he does. Because the storage room sex mattered to him and at this point of the episode maybe it matters to him even more so than at the beginning of the episode or at the end of episode 3. Not to mentioned, he really doesn't like getting nailed and bailed. You slept with me, so take responsibility for it.

No. 7: I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You. Not Even a Little Bit. Not Even at All.

"You're not killing me or anything like that, right?" Style says as they're walking out of their last scene and Fadel promptly takes him out to the woods into an abandoned greenhouse. They still haven't cleared anything up between the two of them and Style is still kinda angry, which is why I think that when he says "Are we doing it outdoors? Your taste sure surprises me" he says it mostly to piss Fadel off, not because he wants to flirt or actually do it with him in that moment (oh but just you wait another few minutes 🤭🤭🤭).

Fadel once again just wordlessly walks away from Style. Instead of following him, Style stays back at the car, kinda annoyed. We don't know how long exactly Style was waiting, but either way, I think he does lowkey start to get freaked out a little. He wants to go home and starts looking for Fadel.

"I know you’re gonna kill me and hide my body in the woods." Oh Style, sweetie, no. Careful with your words. Apollo's ball of prophecy and all that. Right after that, we get yet another reference to Style not being scared of Fadel. When he enters the greenhouse, searching for Fadel while monologuing, he shouts:

But I ain't scared of you!

Fun fact, in Thai he actually phrases it as "You think I'm scared of you?":

มึงคิดว่ากูกลัวมึงหรอ [mueng - kít wâa - guu - gluua - mueng - rŏr] you - think that - I - scared (of) - you - [question word]

It is night-time, Style walks along dark aisles in search of Fadel who ran away from him and is currently nowhere to be seen, when suddenly, out of nowhere Fadel appears, shoves him into some furniture (ish) and angrily yells into his face: "Who sent you?" Oh, wait, wrong episode.

User @secriden wrote an excellent post detailing the parallels between the ep3 storage room scene and the ep4 forest scene, but I actually think that the beginning of the scene is much closer to a different scene that we saw in episode 2: the locker room scene. It's interesting because this is the third time this episode calls back to the first two episodes. It starts with the parallel of Fadel's fake-out, then we had the parallel of Style publicly humiliating Fadel, and now we have a call-back to the locker room scene, which will soon turn into a parallel of the storage room hook-up. The parallels do be paralleling this episode.

In the locker room, it was Style who dropped a "love confession": "I like you. I liked you the moment I crashed into you that night. It was love at first sight. So damn romantic. Straight out of a movie." But now in the greenhouse it's Fadel's turn. Fadel ambushes Style, shoves him against the bars and starts raging. Fadel has yelled at Style a lot over the past few episodes. He yells at Style to reprimand him, to shoot down his advances, or to tell him to piss off. When Fadel yells at Style, it's all about his feelings of disdain he has for Style. So when Fadel says "I don’t like you messing up my life. My life has been planned out. You’re disrupting it," Style sighs a little and braces himself for yet another fight against Fadel:

But then Fadel goes off-script. "I don’t like myself when I look for you on the morning jog or at the market. I don’t like waiting to see if you’d show up at my restaurant or my go-to club. You— I don’t like you being in my life and changing it."

This is a new one. Style listens intently.

Fadel continues. "I don’t like feeling like this." Style has all his focus entirely on Fadel and his words now. He squeezes his eyes just the tiniest bit. And I think this is where Style starts to figure out the core of Fadel's problem.

"I don’t like it!", Fadel yells and Style looks at him with so much resolution and with so much understanding.

And then Fadel drops: "I don’t like that I miss you."

Fun fact about the word คิดถึง [kít-tĕung]: apart from "to miss", it can also have the meaning of "to think of, to think about". So another possible interpretation and underlying meaning of this line is "I don't like that I think about you."

Something vital that I want to bring up at this point now is something that @secriden has pointed out in her meta:

It's incredibly important that Style waited at this point. Style, who talks endlessly and without thought. Style, who demands that his story and his thoughts are aired first. Style, who has been telling Fadel this lie time and time again before Fadel’s feelings made it true... Stops. Waits. Stays silent. Because Fadel had to get there himself or not at all.

And get there, Fadel did. Fadel has just spilled that he thinks about Style, that he misses him. That Style's efforts have been worth it. That Fadel has started caring the way Style has started to care. Style looks at Fadel, takes it all in.

Style finally understands Fadel's problem, finally understands why Fadel has been acting the way he's been acting.

When Style kisses Fadel, there is so much purpose, so much intent to it. Style has something to say, something important, and every single thing on his mind, every single emotion, he puts it all into that kiss. And what he has to say is:

Yes. The caption in the gif is different from the official English subtitles. Because Style literally says:

มันโอเค​นะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ [man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh] it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]

And this is a distinction that is important to me personally. Phrasing it as "It's okay to be in love" is by far more specific than "It's okay to love" and I think this particular word choice hits Fadel harder as well. Fadel likes control, he likes knowing exactly what's going on at any given moment. But then Style shows up as a whirlwind in his life, bringing disorder to everything. Fadel is starting to develop feelings that he can't control and it freaks him out.

When Style kissed Fadel in the locker room it was an attack in the battle he was fighting against him. When Style kisses Fadel in the greenhouse, it's for reassurance. Style puts everything he wants to say with "It's okay to be in love" into that line. It's okay to let go. It's okay to let things take their natural course. It's okay to be in love. You're allowed to have feelings. It's not a bad thing. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.

And with this we go into the parallels to the storage room scene. If you remember my ep3 meta, then you'll remember how I said that Style didn't really mean it at the time when he said he wanted Fadel right before they hook up. This time he didn't say a single word about it, but his actions show that he does want Fadel this time. Once again I'm gonna steal a thought from @clemelntine's meta:

[Style] isn't entirely giving in/passive in the situation, though. He still has a hands on Fadel holding him close/in place, and does seem to want to touch him. No matter how much he wants Fadel to service him, he isn't gonna let him do it all on his own. He too wants to explore Fadel as well.

We can really see that this time around. Unlike in the storage room, Style has his hands all over the place: on Fadel's throat, underneath Fadel's shirt, in Fadel's pants, pulling Fadel closer with his arm around Fadel's neck. What's more, there's significantly more eye contact. Fadel actually looks Style in the eye now. It's still not as much and as intense as in Style's fantasy, because they're still not quite there yet emotionally, but it's a start. They've both started to develop some actual feelings, and this time around they're also both aware of it. Of their own feelings as well as the other's feelings. Where last time they were acting purely on physical attraction, they're much more emotionally involved this time around. Emotionally they're much more on the same page this time around. And it's beautiful.

Also, I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet, but we are all aware that they show us pretty much the entire act from start to, uhhh well, finish, right? Right?? 🫣

No. 8: Be My Boyfriend

Not for the first time Style says he wants Fadel as a boyfriend. Unlike the other times though, Style actually means it this time around. His words are no longer for show, no longer a performance that will be rewarded with Kant's gratitude and his car. Style is being 100% serious about being Fadel's boyfriend. The car is more of an afterthought (and one that he will get to, because a deal is a deal, and he's been in love with the car much longer than he's had any positive feelings for Fadel for, but still. Right there in the woods, I think the car isn't really on his mind at the time).

Style means every flirty thing he says. He means it when he says "You’re mysterious and alluring. You’re quiet, but sexy as hell". If you remember, during the kitchen scene I mentioned that Style wasn't as loud in the flirty things he said, and we can really see that in the aforementioned line and also when he says "[Having a boyfriend is] great. You have someone to embrace, to love, and to…" These lines are much less loud and less performative than compared to everything that came out of his mouth in ep3 on the sports field.

By the way, I need you all to know that this exchange:

F: I’ll stick with jerking off. S: I’m sure.

Actually goes:

F: I can jerk off by myself. กูชักว่าวอยู่เองได้ [guu - chák wâao - yùu - eng - dâai] I - masturbate - be - (by) oneself/myself - be able to S: I know you can do it yourself. รู้ว่ามึงทำเองได้ [rúu wâa - mueng - tam - eng - dâai] know that - you - do - (by) oneself/yourself - be able to

And where did we get a similar exchange before? That's right. In that very scene at the sports field that I just mentioned:

F: If you want it that much, then go jerk off. ถ้าอยากมากเนี่ยก็ไปชักว่าวไป [tâa - yàak - mâak - nîia - gôr - bpai - chák wâao - bpai] if - want - much - [particle] - then - go - masturbate - go S: I know it can be done alone. รู้มันทำคนเดียวได้ [rúu - man - tam - kon diiao - dâai] know - it - do - alone - be able to

The words they say are similar, and yet these two exchanges are very different from one another. Just like in the kitchen, Style's flirting in the woods is much more grounded. It's not the same performance as it was in episode 3. And just as I said in my ep3 meta, it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, not when he's putting up a show:

The inauthenticity in [Style's] insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes [the running track and the market]. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).

What's interesting, though, that even though this is the very first time Fadel actually engages in Style's friendly banter and amiable conversation instead of ignoring him or yelling at him or telling him to piss off, at the beginning of the conversation Style doesn't have Fadel quite just yet. Actually, no. That's not accurate. Style is being genuine, has been genuine all episode already and so he does reach Fadel in the beginning of their conversation. Fadel is finally engaging, is finally getting involved. But then Style loses him again at a certain point. And it's specifically when he says:

But isn't it better to have someone like me with you?

Up until this very point, Fadel was mostly turned towards Style. He's smiled, he's laughed, he's rolled his eyes in amusement and he's actively taken part in Style's conversation. He's been more open with Style than he's ever been before. But now? He stares at Style for a moment, then turns away from him, closing himself off from Style again.

And it's interesting that this is happening at this specific point, because their entire conversation has mostly surrounded sex (adjacent) things and physical attraction. They literally start this conversation referencing their hook-up from right before, Style calls Fadel sexy, and then alludes that he wants to sleep with him again. And I think by the time Style says "I know you can [jerk off] by yourself. But isn’t it better to have someone like me with you?" Fadel is at a point where he's like Oh, so you only want to be my boyfriend just so you can do me again, huh? So this is all I am to you, huh?

Fadel isn't cool with that and so he starts to shut himself off from Style again. Style is rejected again. Style turns his head away from Fadel, sighs, raises his eyebrows, and I think he realizes (at least subconsciously) what Fadel is unhappy about, because the next thing he says the moment he's turned back to Fadel is:

What you said to me just now... I feel the same way.

And again, he's being sincere. His voice is calm and grounded, there's not a single trace of his dramatic antics. And that line and coupled with that sincerity has Fadel listening up again:

"Be my boyfriend," Style says and Fadel listens even more closely. "Give me a chance," Style says and Fadel looks away, laughs, and replies "You don’t even know me". Fadel's words are a challenge, but this time there is no malice, no anger, no annoyance in his voice. His voice is soft. Fadel poses a challenge, but it's not an invitation to fight. Or rather, it is an invitation to fight, but it's a very different fight from before. And Style is only happy to take up said challenge: "And what about it? I’ll learn more about you when you’re my boyfriend."

And for what he says next, I'd love to share a more literal translation with you again. In the English subs Style talks about being 100% in and it being Fadel's turn to let him in, which, yeah, it's the gist of it. However, in Thai he uses the word เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] again, which I've already talked about in my ep3 meta because Style has used that word before during that scene where Fadel hands him the burger. The day after posting that meta, I actually asked my Thai teacher about this word in class (and nearly died in the process) because I hadn't discussed this word with a native speaker for my meta and while I had discussed this word with my Thai language learning buddy after he brought it up when I was trying to explain the German phrase "sich einlassen auf" (@ German speakers: เปิดใจ is very similar to that!), I just couldn't remember it well and wanted to double check just in case. According to my teacher, it's a word that is used to talk about opening up to something or about giving things a chance, but the literal translation is "to open one's heart" (เปิด [bpèrt] = to open / ใจ [jai] = heart, mind) and I think the series makes use of that literal meaning for a nice metaphor/image here. I think Style's choice of words is very deliberate:

I've opened my heart to you 100% already. กูเปิดใจให้มึงร้อยเปอร์เซนต์แล้วนะ [guu - bpèrt-jai - hâi - mueng - rói - bper-sen - láew - ná] I - open up (one's heart) - for, to - you - 100 - percent - already - [particle]

Only you remain. เหลือแค่มึงอ่ะ [lĕuua - kâe - mueng - àh] remain, left - only - you - [particle]

How much will you open your heart to me? จะเปิดใจให้กูมากแค่ไหน [jà - bpèrt-jai - hâi - guu - mâak kâe năi] will - open up (one's heart) - to, for - I/me - how much

Fadel, who has enclosed his heart in thick, high walls, is being asked how many doors leading up to it he is willing to open. Style subtly reminds Fadel that a relationship consists of two people, but leaves the decision of just how close Fadel will let Style get to his heart entirely up to Fadel. Because that's Fadel's choice to make.

While Style is talking, Fadel is listening intently, really taking in Style's words and contemplating them:

He's quiet for a moment after Style is done telling him You have full access to my heart now. I'm willing to give you a chance. I've done my part. The choice is on you now. Will you grant me access to your heart, too? Will you give me a chance as well?

Fadel thinks about it for a bit more, then laughs a small laugh, throws his head back, and goes "Yeah. Fine." Style is confused. Fadel then explicitly agrees to be his boyfriend. Style's eyes widen. He can't believe his ears. He has to ask for confirmation, has to make sure he really heard it right:

We're boyfriends, right? เป็นแฟนกันใช่มั้ย [bpen - faen - gan - châi mái] be - boyfriend, girlfriend - each other, together - right?

Fadel confirms. Style is absolutely over the moon and showers Fadel in kisses.

Do I think they're already in love? Not exactly. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to look at Fadel as closely as I have been looking at Style (I need 48h days fr 😭😭) but when it comes to Style, I think even if he's not in love just yet, this is the start of something real. We saw in episode 3 that he was starting to develop positive feelings towards Fadel, was starting to genuinely have a good time hanging around Fadel, but he still had ulterior motives in the foreground of his mind. I think when he hooked up with Fadel in the storage room that kicked off something within him because, as I've made very clear in my ep3 meta, to Style sex isn't just sex. Because if it was, his journey this episode would have been going very differently. But throughout this entire episode Style has cared, he has cared so much to the point he's gotten really hurt. And his joy when Fadel agrees to be his boyfriend? That's real. And I don't think it's because he's about to receive the car of his dreams as a reward. If it was, I think Style would have been much more smug about Fadel agreeing to be his boyfriend, would have been much more self-satisfied underneath all that happiness. But Style's joy here is pure. And he doesn't brag about finally "winning" Fadel over, doesn't hold it over his head in a smug HAH, you gave in to me, I'm the one who won our battle of wills, look how cool I am sort of way. Style's joy is real, but what he's feeling is not quite love at this point. But so what if they're not in love just yet? Like Style said: They can get to know each other fall in love when they're boyfriends.

No. 8: Apollo's Ball Of Prophecy Is Real

Remember how a couple of paragraphs ago I said the car was just an afterthought, that Style would still get to? Well, he's getting to it now. He shows up at Kant's place and "When should I come and get your car?" is the first thing out of his mouth right after his hellos. Kant reminds Style of their deal and asks if Fadel has agreed to be Style's boyfriend. Style says "yes", shining brightly as the sun as he says this. And the way he shines while dropping this info to Kant makes me once again think that his happiness here is more focused on Fadel rather than the car. Style is a little smug now, but it's mostly before Kant mentions the words "Fadel" and "faen" together in one single sentence (yes, I had to go with the Thai word for boyfriend just for the alliteration lol). When Style says yes, Fadel is in fact his boyfriend now, the subtext I'm hearing is not something along the lines of Yeah, I finally got him, so where's my beloved car at, bro, we had a deal???? but what I'm hearing is more like Yes!! He is!! Can you believe!! Fadel is my BOYFRIEND!! Omg!! I did it!! Just like we'll see in the flashback to the "be my boyfriend" scene right after, there is something rather pure about Style's complete and utter joy at the thought of Fadel being his boyfriend.

Style relays the "be my boyfriend" conversation to Kant and it's only after that that Style really starts bragging: "Your best friend is a genius, isn’t he? I told you I can get anyone." And yeah, undeniably this is about the fact that he's getting a car out of it, but I also think that he would have bragged about it even if the deal with the car didn't exist. Kant and Style seem to have the sort of friendship where they always brag to each other about their love lives. We were shown this in episode 1 when Kant goes to see Style at the garage and Style immediately asks for the tea on his night with Bison, pretty much begging Kant to brag about it when Kant tries to change the topic to something else. Style would have bragged about Fadel to Kant no matter what. Besides, why wouldn't he go get the car, despite actual feelings being involved now? A deal is a deal, and if he can get the car of his dreams and the boyfriend of his dreams out of it, that's even better. Best of both worlds. Who wouldn't say no to that?

But Style's happiness gets smacked right out of him via Apollo's ball of prophecy as he learns that he should really be very careful what he jokes about. He almost spoke Fadel taking him out to the woods to kill him into existence. Fadel is a hitman. Style's panic gets the better of him. He has seen, felt on his own body even what Fadel is capable of. He doesn't like Fadel that much yet, so he's outta there before he gets to experience first hand the real depths of what Fadel can be capable of if Style gets too annoying. Car be damned. Style may be unhinged but he isn't suicidal.

Kant, however, manages to talk Style into helping him and staying with Fadel anyway. Now, you could say Style is unhinged for agreeing to help Kant instead of firmly refusing his request and getting out of this mess before it gets worse, but I think in that moment Style is genuinely afraid that Fadel WILL kill him if Style breaks up with him, breaks his heart right after Fadel has finally, finally given him closer access to it. And Style has had to work very hard for said access, so he knows very well how big that decision was for Fadel to entrust Style with just a little bit of his heart. And if Style then goes and breaks that little bit of Fadel's heart that he was given in the very next moment? That's a death sentence on Style's head right there.

And another reason why I think Style agrees to continue working for Kant's mission is that Style likes to help. I've already touched on this in my ep3 meta:

Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode [ep3] when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.

Helping people is something that comes easy to Style, something he doesn't really have to think about, and so when Kant practically begs him to help Style can't do anything but agree to help Kant because not helping would go entirely against the nature of his character. Also, who could resist First's puppy eyes? Valid, absolutely valid. I, too, would fold like thin paper if First looked at me like That.

No. 9: Over Your Limit

Style is at the gym, probably in an attempt to work off some of the overwhelming emotions that Kant's reveal has left him with. What's interesting is, as @secriden noted, that Style decided to go there during daytime. From episode 2, both we, the audience, as well as Style know that Fadel likes to go to the gym at night specifically to avoid crowds. It's probably safe to assume that Style went there during the day specifically in order to avoid Fadel.

So Style sits there, lost in his memories, recontextualizing everything that happened at the greenhouse, processing Kant's news, rethinking his decision. Unfortunately for him, he's already made his choice the moment he agreed to help Kant, and so in the end Style goes Fuck it, I'm doing this.

Unexpectedly, Fadel shows up. Style hadn't been mentally prepared for that and despite his fuck it attitude just mere seconds ago (17, to be exact), his instincts kick in and he panics. Everything within him is screaming at him get away from this man, your life is in danger and so Style immediately rejects Fadel's offer for help: "I can’t do it anyway. I was pushing my limits."

Style is pushing his limits. Hitting on a guy? Sure, that's fine. Making him his boyfriend, despite said guy having walls as thick as the Great Wall of China? A little challenge, but nothing Style can't handle. But dating someone who is a professional killer, someone who is capable of taking lives and might very well be capable of taking his own boyfriend's life if need may be? That really is pushing any limit Style could ever have even as much as dreamed of. He can't do it.

But despite every instinct within Style telling him to run away, Style doesn't, because that would be suspicious and Style can't risk Fadel getting suspicious because that would seal his deathly fate even quicker. So Style hesitantly leans back and lets Fadel help him. And here at this point, I just wanna give a little shout out to Style raising his eyebrows and sighing a little after they're done, like whew, I survived that, I'm still alive, because it makes me giggle:

When Fadel alludes to wanting to have sex, Style plays dumb. Style has used this strategy before when he wanted to find out the connection between Fadel and the host club, but where in ep3 Style was playing dumb in order to gain Fadel's trust, here at the gym Style is playing dumb in order to delay having to get close to Fadel again (much less sleeping with him) while he figures out a way to get out of it. When Fadel cuddles up to him, it's the last straw. Style's panic takes over for good and he makes an escape. But then Fadel calls out to him, asking him to wait. Shit. Style's fight for his life is not yet over. Style stops, trying not to be suspicious or to do anything else that would give Fadel a motive to kill him.

Fadel walks up to him and wipes the sweat of his face. Where before Fadel's touch has recently been making Style feel good, it now feels very threatening instead. Yet, at the same time it's also a kind and caring gesture, which is something that isn't lost on Style.

Style very much notices the care in Fadel's action, but his new perspective on Fadel makes it hard for him to embrace and appreciate the kindness of it. And the kindness and care also contradicts the image of the ruthless killer Style now has in his mind of Fadel. These two contrasting aspects simply do not go together. Unable to cope, Style runs off.

The Attempt of a Conclusion

Where Style had just a little bit of a problem at the beginning of the episode, by the end of it that problem has grown much larger than he could have ever anticipated. Over the course of episode 3 we saw that Style was slowly starting to develop some positive feelings for Fadel, was slowly starting to actively enjoy hanging out around him, was starting to get curious about Fadel of his own accord and not for motives connected to the deal. Yet, the deal was still very much always there. In episode 4, however? Style might not have entirely realized it yet, but that deal is no longer relevant to him. Not showing up to the morning jogging or at the market might still have been a planned strategy in the mission Kant gave him, but that mission goes right out the window the moment he hears that Fadel had asked about him. When Style goes running to Fadel the second he is told that Fadel had asked about him when actually Style could and probably should have played his game a little longer, really letting Fadel stew, from that moment onward it's all about Style's own feelings rather than the car. And everything he does this episode is led by those feelings. Over the course of this episode we see that Style has genuinely started to like Fadel. And he had to. He had to start liking Fadel before learning about Fadel's real job. Because the higher you are, the further you fall and Style accidentally having caught feelings makes the drop down worse, for both Style, the character as well as us, the audience. Style genuinely likes Fadel now, and if that wasn't enough of a problem already, the man he likes turns out to be a professional killer.

Crap, indeed.

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep9 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

[fir-fireweed]

I just read chapter 1 of Cantata and I already can't wait for the next one I'm so excited!

Now I wanted to ask if there was a way for an Iredicci to be born deaf and or mute? And if yes would they be like a regular person then? Or maybe they would be able to hear nothing but the Cordis?

I love this whole concept for a story btw! :D

Ooooh. I gotta say, anon, you stumped me. I honestly never even thought of this. 🤯

The ability to hear the cordis is more of an inner ear thing. So even if they were born deaf, yes, they could still hear it. But to affect it, they need to be able to sing. The idea of an Iredicci being born mute, and therefore being able to hear the cordis but being unable to affect it, ever, or to never sing with their people, EVER, strikes me as incredibly heart breaking! 😭

So for that reason alone I’m going to say no, they can’t be born mute. It’s something in the resonance of their voice, very scientific, very technical, that they’ll always have a voice. Because magic. 😎

Thank you for giving me something to ponder and thank you for reading Cantata!

[struggling-jpg]

Random thoughts but

imagine Boothill going to the Luofu and meeting Jing Yuan and by extension Yanqing and it's like "Wow! You guys are motherfudging cool!"

But it occurs to him how young Yanqing is and he can't help but think that maybe his daughter could have grown and made friends with him. It's somewhat concerning that this little guy is in the constant face of danger. Boothill gets it, the kid's strong, but the dad in him worries just a bit.

Then maybe Boothill and Jing Yuan talk while eating (well, Boothill chewing on a bullet probably), and he brings it up casually, smoothly but the General knows what he's trying to get at.

Jing Yuan talks about how he's also feels worry, that he had thought about what it meant to raise Yanqing as a son, retainer, and a soldier. It takes some moments but Boothill finally openly talks about his daughter and how he wishes that he got to see beyond her first steps. That she could have had the chance to play guitar or ride horses or even learn to drive a spaceship. He feels afraid for Yanqing because isn't that boy still so small?

And Jing Yuan agrees with a thin, close-eyed smile that Boothill recognizes but can't put a name to. They reach a mutual understanding yet unanswered questions hang in the air.

[faelapis]

i know most read "good luck babe" by chappell roan as being about a lesbian in denial. and that's probably the intent... but i dont think it's invalid to read it like an angry ex projecting.

the song's instrumentation says "big, heroic 80s romantic lead"... but the lyrics are still a variant of "they can't make you happy like i can." in my view, you can read her either like a hero or villain.

in particular, the line "you're nothing more than his wife" is a LOT. it feels potentially condescending. i get the intent is to do commentary, to say what society expects of women - but it also kinda sounds like you agree with how society sees straight women? if you're that mad about it? or you think this is how straight women see themselves?

ultimately, we don't know how honest the framing is. we don't get this other woman's perspective. chappell could be bitter and heroizing herself, or she could be telling the truth. we don't know, because it's not about her. the girl in question has no voice.

"you know i hate to say it, but i told you so!"

no you don't! you LOVE saying it! you just wrote a detailed fantasy about how this girl is going to regret breaking up with you, couched in the self-righteous language of liberation and accepting queerness.

see what i'm saying?

i should clarify, none of this is a critique of the song. i like all of this. i enjoy angry, self-righteous breakup songs. you do not have to be a "good person" in a song. todd in the shadows has a great video on that.

all of this was actually my way of saying that its my favorite song of hers. i love how unfiltered the anger is. it shows how in the heat of the moment, we make ourselves the hero - but it can still come out kind of ugly on the page.

to put it in fandom terms, for my fandom audience: you could easily imagine pearl singing this at the point in her life where she's angriest and most bitter about greg. very easily.

or it could all be true! obviously, chappell frames the singer like the hero - but we don't know. it's an interesting bit of ambiguity in such intense self-righteousness.

[myfemmeb0yfriend]

airhead femme + really smart butch who doesn't mind explaining stuff to her.

- men dni, this post is for lesbians/mdni accs dni.

[marimbles]

i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

[reality-detective]

In the beginning was the word…

We have ignorantly come to regard language as a mere form of communication, but words are much more than that. When spoken, not only do they carry specific transformative frequencies, they have power, real, creative power. Thoughts are merely the testing ground but the spoken word is our command. That which we repeatedly say becomes our reality, so use words wisely.

Scientist have proven how words affect the molecular composition of water; loving words make stunning geometric patterns, whereas nasty words create distorted, deformed patterns. Our heart is made up of 80% water, so imagine how words can affect and transform us. The power of words, however, is not just how they can affect us mentally and physically, the power lies in the fact that they can affect the ‘field’ itself; they affect the web of energy that holds this universe together. That is where our words have creative power, that is where they become the command to manifestation.

We have lost all sense of our human capabilities and through centuries of indoctrination and deceit have come to accept a distorted understanding of who we are. We think of ourselves as insignificant, defenseless creatures with no say in our individual or collective future, but I remember we were once told that we were created in the image of the Creator, in other words, we were created with the power to create. And how do we begin to create? With words. Words are the beginning of creation. So choose and use words wisely, not only to heal, uplift and create abundance but also to reject and disable what you don’t wish for.

At this time of war against evil, I have adopted certain words which I pronounce daily that have truly helped me feel empowered and in control, I wanted to share these with you because I have felt in my own life their transformative power. They are something like this:

“I do not consent to being deceived, lied to, controlled or manipulated. From now on, I only want what is real. I only want the truth.”

You may think this is crazy, but I can assure you this is how you begin to claim your sovereignty, this is how you remove the shackles, how you pull down the veil of deception and you stop your ignorant compliance to anything that is not honest and truthful. Speak these words outloud every day, not only will they begin to transform your life, they will transform our collective reality.

We ARE powerful, it’s time we begin to use that power to turn things around. 🤔

- Laura Aboli

[recovering-radqueers]

Myths about self-care graphic by Mymindoasis.com

Text from the blog post under the cut:

Self-care is NOT an indulgence

While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with indulging or pampering yourself once in a while, there is more to self-care than bubble baths and face-masks. It is easy to trivialise and write-off self-care by focusing only on the indulgence. Meaningful self-care involves not just the easy, fun things. More importantly, it includes making mindful changes in patterns of thoughts and behaviours that do not contribute to your wellbeing. For instance, saying no without feeling guilty, knowing when to take a break or avoiding harmful coping mechanisms.

Self-care is NOT selfish

Brené Brown, in her book The Gifts of Imperfection writes: “In a society that says, “Put yourself last,” self-love and self acceptance are almost revolutionary.”  Self-care is not a disregard for others’ needs. It is extending the same concern and empathy for your needs that you offer others. Practicing self-care by enforcing healthy boundaries and communicating your needs is not only essential for yourself, but also makes you more available for those around you. When you make time for yourself and get sufficient rest & exercise, you feel more energetic and will be able to do more - for yourself as well as for those around you.

Self-care is NOT a one-time experience

Going on a spa day and treating yourself poorly for the rest of the week is not self care! Looking after your most basic physical and emotional needs is not a one-time luxury. It is an ongoing practice in building resilience to face hardships and in preventing burnout. To put it simply, self-care is not optional! To make the most out of self-care, it is essential to have a regular practice that is a part of your life and not something you try only when you are about to have a breakdown.

Self-care is NOT time consuming

So many people around me – including friends, family and clients, insist: “I just don’t have the time for it!” Despite acknowledging the benefits and necessity of self-care, some people refrain from making it a practice. Given how busy everyone is these days, it is understandable that you hesitate to commit your time. However, I want you to know that self-care does not require you to take out a huge chunk of time from your busy day. Self-care is practicing loving kindness towards yourself, every day, all the time.  

What does it mean to have a regular self-care practice?

Having a self-care practice means that you choose to explore your needs through regular reflection and make appropriate changes to meet these needs. Becoming aware of your needs (which include multiple facets such as mind, body, relationships) is the first step in learning to make self-care a priority. Simple practices such as journaling, meditation, mindfulness and a number of other creative ways can help you begin this reflection. Setting aside a few minutes everyday – perhaps just before going to bed or having a meal – goes a long way in staying committed to the practice and making it an integral part of your life.

In addition to the time you set aside for reflection, prioritising self-care includes:

Accepting that it’s OK to have needs

Allowing yourself to be tired

Allowing yourself to make mistakes

Looking after your body by nourishing it and including some form of physical movement in your routine

Giving yourself the room to practice healthy boundaries

Expressing yourself clearly and without guilt

Staying connected with people, places and activities that make you feel good

Making room for regular self-care in your life has a number of benefits. It helps to build resilience, prevents burnout, promotes healthier relationships and makes you more productive.

How to create a sustainable self-care plan?

Self-care is essential for a wholesome, balanced life. Since self-care is an ongoing practice, you need to work on a plan that is sustainable in the long run.

Start small

You don’t have to make sweeping or overwhelming changes to start practicing self-care. Start with small changes and additions to your routine. If setting aside 30 minutes every day seems impossible right now, try beginning with 10 minutes for the first week and gradually increase. Remember, self-care is less about what you do and more about how you treat yourself.

Experiment

Each person is different and has unique needs, so there is no one-size-fits-all plan that will work for everyone. To figure out which practices work best for you, try a variety of things. When you experiment, you will gain clarity about what fits your life and routine. Make a list of activities you find helpful.

Intentional practice

If you want to build a sustainable self-care plan, it is important to be actively engaged in the practices you try. Pay attention to how it makes you feel. What is the outcome? What do you like/dislike about it?

Here are some suggestions to get you started with a self-care plan:

Pause and check-in with yourself before getting out of bed

Practice slow, deep breathing

Start writing a journal

Create something (draw, paint, cook, sculpt, collage)

Stretch when you take a break

Put your phone/tablet away for an hour

Take a walk

Call a friend

Drink lots of water

Get enough sleep

Practice saying no

Reconnect with a hobby

Spend time outdoors

Follow a guided meditation

Join a support group

Make a gratitude list

Look for opportunities to laugh

Read a book

Visit your doctor for a check-up

Plan going out with friends/family

if you need step-by-step instructions on how to do any of these things above, send us an ask here and we'll help! -mod charlie

[lambilegs]

trying so hard to believe in the love I write about

[schatzii]

EPISODE 11 OF THE 4TH SEASON IS A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. Do we have House and Wilson constantly flirting? Yes, we do. Toxic polycule is also present. Horrified realisation of House = Amber parallel? Here you go sir. People don't change, yet at least 2 people in the episode do change? Classic. And lastly - House casually alluding to 13's bisexuality and then going STRAIGHT (heh) to Wilson's office to inform him that yes, I am quite okay with you dating me. Normal day at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital folks, nothing to see here.

[imjustavenuxwithaboomerang]

thanks for the ask !!!!! here are some questions ab hsmtmts from me:

do you read fic for the show??? do you have a favorite one??

season ranking

favorite/least favorite character

favorite part about the show??? least favorite part about the show???

missed opportunity you wouldve loved to see

favorite cover(s) as many or as little as you want

favorite original song(s)

song you wish they would've covered or concept for an original song you would've wanted to see

unpopular opinion

answers can be as long or short as you like

so sorry that this took so long, answering asks becomes like an all day task because i need to get like the right thing to come across

i do!! i've read so many but my top one right would be who said anybody would? by mind_writing/@rosesradio

2, 1, 4, 3 (i have already posted so many thoughts about s3 so i'll just leave it there i guess)

my fav character by far is the one and only ej caswell. i could literally talk about him and his story for hours (AND I HAVE). i just love him sm !! y'all will never make me hate him. he's also just very me-coded and i feel the need to hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright (he's also so very pretty). least favorite would be a nice handful of the family members, cause why are they so annoying (this includes, CASH CASWELL, LYNNE BOWEN, TERRI PORTER, and jamie too)

my favorite part is probably the mockumentary style. i love 4th wall breaks and it all really adds to the comedic vibe. my least favorite part is definitely the fact that all (and i mean all) of the romantic pairings are written poorly at some point in their timeline (ex: portwell being a shell of their original dynamic once they were together, s1 spending so much time putting rini back together just to break them up less than a season later, redlyn cheating on each other with ZERO consequences for anyone involved. etc.)

don't know if this counts because it's so out there for disney to actually do, but season 3 really could've been something special if they went the portbowell route. it would've solved so many problems and would've made for some fun plot points and beautiful songs (i have a post with other reasons why i think they should've made them canon, here). special mentions: mack should've been jimmie zara in the hsm 3 production and ej should've been able to sing scream, he deserved it so much (do i think it would've been taxing on matt's vocal chords??? probably. which is why scream is not mentioned for answer 8)

top 5, in order: bet on it (official album version only ofc), wouldn't change a thing, home (both versions), high school musical (finale), and if i can't love her

top 5, in order: dreams don't die, let you go, nightmares come to life, second chance, and love you forever

for covers, i wish they did a full version of what time is it (without start the party) or a cover of gotta go my own way for the portwell breakup (i guess that also counts as a missed opportunity shrug). and for an original song, i wish we got a trio song with ej, maddox, and val/a group song led by those three (maybe a work this out-esque song but about putting on the musical and having fun at the camp idk)

i don't think rina should've been endgame (i won't get into it because this already SO long but i've said my piece before many a time and i'll inevitably do it again)

THANK YOU for all the questions, i loved answering these <33

[shoezuki]

heres a blurb a the doctor fic before i go to sleep. i really fuck w the gepard having a complicated relationship w his position as silvermane captain at this point. like being captain is such an integral part of himself and a position he is jus so used to having, yet after being the sole survivor of his patrol he feels jaded and in a way disgusted with or undeserving of the title of captain

[burningcheese-merchant]

Ok fuck it. Fuck it I need to rant. I'm disappointed to the high heavens. This just looks like X and Y again. It just looks like they finally bothered to get off their asses and make Pokémon Z like everyone begged for 10+ years ago and they're trying to relabel it as a Legends game. You know what the word "legend" means? It means OLD!!! It's a fantastical tale of days long past! PAST! NOT FUTURE! Why are we in the future!!! There are no legends about the damn future, only the past!!!

How cool would it have been if we were in the Pokémon equivalent of Napoleonic France? If the protagonist was from a lower-middle-class family (maybe even lower, a genuinely struggling protagonist would be interesting, especially within this time period), who set out with their Pokémon to earn money to help out, only to end up caught in the middle of a nationwide shitstorm? What if you ventured throughout the region, through the beaches and mountains and beautiful French/Kalosian countryside, all the way to Paris/Lumiose, where the societal rot is at its most obvious and damning? What if the "evil team" wasn't evil at first, just a band of revolutionaries with their hearts in the right place, seeking change and justice for the broke and starving public against the laziness and corruption of the self-absorbed elite? What if the villain was the king at first, because he and the other royals really are as awful as they're stated to be? What if there were (optional, because not everyone was against the French monarchy) side quests to help spread revolutionary propaganda or help the rebels earn money, gather resources, toughen up their Pokémon in preparation for future battles against the royals? Hell, what if there was a rival group of royalists who acted as the rebels' foil, whom you can also help and hinder as much or as little as you liked?

What if there was an honest-to-God violent coup where people and Pokémon stormed the royal palace and destroy everything in sight (and you could be there, battling guards or something)? What if the king was challenged to a battle and lost miserably, proving once and for all how weak and pathetic he is, and thus overthrown and exiled (can't execute him, this franchise is too cowardly to evolve past being milquetoast kiddie shit)? What if the rebel leader, with his dear Empoleon beside him, took his place and crowned himself emperor right then and there, to the overwhelming joy of his followers and sympathizers, dismay of his opponents, and whatever it is the player chooses to feel, because there should be a genuine undercurrent of historical, political and philosophical discussion about all of this throughout the story that encourages us to form our own thoughts and opinions about the situation?

Only for the rebel leader, the Napoleon figure, to turn out worse than the king ever was, and his close subordinates immediately going mad with their newfound power and practically destroying the country. Then they really ARE the evil team for real this time, because they became the tyrants they sought to destroy, and depending on the player's past actions, it might partially be their fault that they succeeded. Imagine the Pokémon equivalent of the fucking Reign of Terror. People and Pokémon being attacked, imprisoned, exiled (again, they're too chickenshit to kill people. Tens of thousands died during the REAL Reign of Terror). Imagine your new mission going from trying to flee Lumiose and go home (only to fail, because they won't let anyone leave outside of being formally exiled out of fear/paranoia about uncontrolled dissidents) to taking an active role against the new regime, battling police to bust innocents out of jail, reuniting families and friends torn apart by fear and force? Imagine a heated battle against the stand-in for Maximilien Robespierre to help put an end to the madness!!! What if you went to libraries and picked up newspapers and listened to the telegraph and discovered everything has been censored in some way? What if you went into houses and found depressed wives and mothers and sisters and daughters, and opened letters from the men in their families (and their Pokémon, too) who were conscripted into the Kalosian army because the Emperor is trying to wage wars against neighboring regions to fulfill territorial ambitions (which actually did happen, Napoleon's France was constantly at war, which majorly tanked the economy because all the men were sent off to die or be horrifically injured. Remember when they tried to invade Russia? Over half a million troops went, barely 1/6 of them came back)? The climax of the story + defeat of the Emperor in battle can be a nod to the Battle of Waterloo!!! The post-game can have the player looking for runaway rebels like how you hunted for the Sages in post-game Black and White! What if there was a limited time mystery gift event where you could win a ferry ticket to the island the former Emperor is imprisoned on, JUST LIKE THE ACTUAL NAPOLEON, and there was a final cutscene between you and him where you discuss everything that happened and he asserts that he did what he had to and he still believes that he was acting in Kalos's best interest!!! Because many of the revolutionaries really did think that way, they believed they were doing right by France!!! Even when they jailed and murdered thousands of innocent people!!!

But no, we don't get cool shit like that, we get AZ running a fucking inn for whatever reason and an "urban redevelopment plan" that's literally just "let the Pokémon trash half the city with zero repercussions or any consideration for the homes and businesses in the areas they overrun". What the fuck man