#poorly blended fairytales

[styusha-10]

Sherlock Holmes was an otherworldly creature indeed. I am no man of superstition, although I vaguely remember my grandmother’s tales of daione sìth. Holmes did not distinctly resemble any of the fair folk, these light, ethereally beautiful golden-haired men and women, and yet somehow he gave the same impression. His smooth, almost catlike movements reminded me of cait-sìth and, in all honesty, during investigations he often was the very picture of a predator pursuing the prey or cat playing with mice. I could easily imagine him in the highlands of my homeland, windy and boundless, as to my mind he had the soul of Scottish winds, but I also understood perfectly well that there was no place for him anywhere except in London, hustling and bustling and pulsating with life, crimes and mysteries.

He was not completely detached from the human world, basically having an excellent understanding of human affections, related to the motives of crimes, such as love or envy, though his knowledge clearly came from prolonged observation rather than from personal experience. He was wise enough to seek my aid when something eluded his understanding, which I prefer to consider as a sign of trust on his part.

He was too theatrical or too aloof at times — traits that I mostly attribute to the eccentricity inherent in genius. He also aged much more slowly than me, but this could easily be associated with our slightly spreading ages and his lack of habit of taking anything too personally, which I am often guilty of. Although in the decade we knew each other, I turned almost half gray, and he remained largely the same, except for a couple of new wrinkles and heavier bags under his eyes.

His voice was the voice of a siren or ben-varrey and he had a natural gift of instantly capturing the attention of everyone in the room with the help of said voice and some kind of internal magnetism, which made people instinctively trust him and obey him.

And yet my favourite of his many noble traits I dedicated myself to immortalise was perhaps his benevolence. With such a mind, such power, it would be too easy to use it for evil, something we had unfortunately seen too many times. His gaze on me which I felt quite often was never heavy or insolent and had not ever bothered me. Clients — those at least who seemed nice and did not irritate him immediately — he treated with kind patience, amiable interest and generous if sometimes mannered hospitality, being rude not out of intention to offend, but simply out of his energetic, eccentric nature.

“I am afraid I have accidentally enchanted you, my dear friend", he suddenly said, somewhat sadly and apologetically, one quiet evening on Baker Street. “That kind of devotion that you show to me cannot be expected from any man under normal circumstances.”

“That kind of devotion,” I thought to myself ruefully later that night, “has nothing in common with sidhe’s enchantments.”

This is my first attempt to capture Jeremy Brett's magnificence, and I feel like I haven't done him justice, so there will probably be other takes. Also first attempt in publishing something on Tumblr and nearly first — in writing in English, so feel free to point out any mistakes.

Following a long and good fandom tradition, I consider Watson to be Scottish, hence the writing of almost all the creatures mentioned in Scots.

The cat-sith, whose existence I learned about unacceptably late and did not change anything much, is hunting in the Scottish wastelands. It has an unhealthy addiction to corpses, so it is recommended to distract him with games and riddles, as well as warmth. Doesn't remind you of anyone? However, while writing, I mostly thought about the classic sidhe, adjusted for, uh, almost everything.

I don't know myself whether he is a magical creature, think what you want. To be honest, being portrayed as a magical creature seems unfair to Holmes as a character — part of his charm for me is precisely the fact that he is human, an outstanding human being.

[marzipanandminutiae]

I see you talking about ouat and it unlocked thoughts that have been neatly filed away for years so here I am, yelling them at you.

I assume at this point spoilers arent a problem anymore for you but you said you originally didn't watch past the frozen but a warning just in case.

I kept watching for quite a long time, but I quit after the whole thing with ruby and Dorothy because what? it just felt so incredibly forced and badly written? and I'd gotten so annoyed because before we'd already had the whole thing with aurora and mulan, which I was rooting for but okay, that didn't work out, too bad for mulan. then we get a perfect set up for ruby and mulan. and it's just. never mentioned again???? ruby comes back eventually but wtf happened to mulan? it annoyed me so fucking much let me tell you.

also I remember trying to write out family/relationship trees and stuff for ouat to see how weirdly convoluted everything got. was very impressed that it seemed they managed to avoid accidentally having incest or something in the show with everything that was going on there.

I have so many more things but this has already gotten way longer than intended. do you have a favourite part of the show? I'm assuming your favourite characters is either regina or emma?

Oh man all of that brings back memories. I didn't stick around long enough for Ruby and Dorothy, but I got the sense that they were doing it to try and counteract the "avoiding Swan Queen because homophobia" allegations.

(I actually don't think they WERE avoiding Swan Queen because of homophobia, necessarily. I think it was never their intent to begin with; they just happened to attract a sapphic audience who were deeply on the Enemies to Lovers train. I do think they may have indulged in a bit of queerbaiting, though, because of some Emma/Regina moments that happened after the writers definitely knew the ship existed. I think it was never going to be canon, but they handled it poorly once they realized that people saw it as an option.)

I stopped watching around Frozen for a couple of reasons:

On a personal level, I just got sick of seeing the characters I shipped with other people. That's not an objective problem; it's my opinion and not everyone will agree. But to me, Hook was a whiny insecure manchild and Robin had the personality of Clippy the MS Word paperclip, and damnit, I wanted Emma and Regina to kiss each other instead of them!

On a This Is Bad Storytelling level, I HATED how Frozen was integrated. Earlier stories had been a nice blend of traditional fairytales with Disney adaptation elements- Beauty and the Beast where Gaston and Chip are both kind of there but in subtler ways, for example, or Cinderella where her dress resembles the 1950s animated version but everything else is different. Frozen, though, was just...Frozen. The entire plot of the movie Frozen had happened before the characters entered the OUAT storyline, their costumes were identical to those in the movie, and while I've heard that they added some different backstory- it just wasn't the "Hans Christian Andersen story with subtle Disney touches" that I would have expected from earlier seasons.

Personally, I don't think the initial curse should have been broken in a season. I feel like that locked them into a pattern of having to continually invent a new Darkest Evilest Most Powerful Magic EVER!!!!! to top the previous season, and that took them to some really weird places (I heard they went to literal hell at one point?). The show had a cool premise and some interesting ideas- I loved how they managed to give individual kingdoms distinct cultures and even fashions. You can tell the "look" of Snow White's kingdom from Cinderella's and Cinderella's from Ariel's, etc.

Everyone who would watch an entire season of Abigail's Ancient Greek Steampunk-ish kingdom, raise your hands. Seriously, so cool.

But something went wrong, IMO around season 4. I'm not sure if the show had just outlived its original concept or had outside pressures pulling it in different directions or what. All I know is, as far as I'm concerned, the show ends when Emma and Henry leave Storybrooke in season 3A. Pity It Was Cancelled So Soon, etc.

(although OOC Matronly SnowTM would have been perfect for live slug reaction memes, so there's that)

[faebriel]

fellow oc haver here! what’s ur process like when it comes to coming up w/their lore/writing?

hiii fellow oc haver!! honestly i have chipped away at my ocs for. a veryyy long time but here is how i've gone about it for my main set

those guys are all inspired by different characters from 1-3 fairytales (snow white rose red, red riding hood, snow white) so for me a lot of their lore comes down to 1) applying the beats of the original fairytale(s) into a different context and 2) looking at how the different roles they play blend together. having this kind of inspiration gives me a little boost personally because it starts to lay out some ideas about how all these characters fit. and i had some ideas for context already (insp from fantasy stories + fairy folklore, setting that's more close to home for me, playing with ideas around changelings and such) so it was kind of like tipping a toybox into a "fairytale" pile and a "vibes/context" pile and trying to combine them.

observe my silly chart below. i have highlighted my two special girl guys for emphasis

so like let's look at bea for example. as one of the main two guys, she lands in all three fairytales - each of which give inspiration on different ideas for traits and relationships for her:

rose red from snow white rose red has a sister that she's very close to (obviously), is the rowdier sister of the two and a worse homemaker, likes to faff around in the bush, is rewarded for being a kind sweetie pie

red riding hood from... red riding hood does NOT listen to her mum and is far too easily taken in by strangers. now i know it's a trope but it almost wouldn't be a red riding hood retelling/inspired story/whatever without some charmingly suspicious stranger to get too attached to. dies either figuratively or literally. sometimes gets to kill a wolf (or wolves) on her way out. is NOT rewarded for being a naive sweetie pie.

as the mirror from snow white, she has to be the one who knows where snow white is and tells her stepmother about it. so presumably she has some kind of confidant dynamic with the stepmother, even though the stepmother treats snow white poorly... who is, from the snow white rose red connection, her sister in at least some sense. what does that say about her? is this more naivete and willful blindness at work? also - as a mirror, she's a reflection of the stepmother to some degree. what does that look like?

this is lowkey cheating because it is a bit of a launch point for character goals and things. for example: you just know bea as a red riding hood inspired character is Going Into Those Woods. but then you can add fun modifiers like "bea's family has so much fkn drama and she is so sure bringing her lola home will fix it (her lola is so fkn dead bro i am sorry)"

and then i kind of like to twist things a bit for funsies. for example - the "fairest of them all" thing from snow white gets all tangled up with "the fair folk" from the context/vibes box. for this story, this means that snow white is not only fair as in beautiful, but fair as in fae-like - to the point where her family, her stepmother especially, believes she's a changeling. and in that context the wicked stepmother attempting to have snow white killed as a changeling takes on these additional elements which get to sprawl out. like now snow white (scott) has a whole Thing about not evening knowing what she is and unpacking the potential horror of being the cuckoo bird in the robin's nest. and you know what i find that fun i am having fun

i am also a huge "i listened to a song and it has given me character inspiration in a whole new direction" look i won't say it's the most reliable way to build a story but it is what happens

i would not say i am super great at developing coherent oc worlds and stories i have a very slapdash approach... but these stories are mostly about fun and sharing for me so that's okay. and the more you think about the ideas that interest you the more they flesh themselves out over time!

as a thank you for reading all that i put sillycute art under the cut if all else fails you can just draw your ocs being sleepy and cute and it will heal your soul sevenfold

so bea and cassian meet when bea traipses off to the fae realm to retrieve her bestie when she goes missing and cassian is assigned as her guide (suspicious) essentially.... they do a lot of random traipsing to abandoned buildings and camping and so on. anyway they are not supposed to get along quite so well but well they do. QPR realness in the making

[sidecharactersdomatter]

This gets rambly but I swear it's relevant to your Disenchanted rewrite. Disenchanted was not a good follow-up to the first film. It just lacked the magic the original film had and did their characters a disservice. This is why I'm always wary when I hear a sequel is being made because I have to ask "Are they expanding on any plots or arcs that were present in the first film in any meaningful way" and if not then it's probably gonna be some unnecessary additions and a poorly executed story. Which is upsetting because it can and has been done well in the hands of writers who know and care about their characters. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is what are some story elements from Enchanted you are hoping to elaborate or improve on in your rewrite?

No I don’t think you ask is rambly at all. The reason I’m writing The fairytale of my life is because I was so pissed off by how Out of character Giselle, Robert, and Morgan were portrayed in the sequel I felt like metaphorically vomiting and got rid of my Disney plus app. Since Disenchanted was released on Plus and the sneak peek clips on YouTube ended up killing the hype, this move never stood a chance with the Rotten Tomatoes critics, by offending the audience who grew up watching the first movie and accomplishing absolutely nothing. Nobody on the writing team understood the assignment, and when it was announced that Kevin Lima wasn’t going to work on the sequel, that’s when you know something’s gonna go wrong. You’ll definitely see me type ‘Nothing happens’ when I answer more questions on why Disenchanted and as my break down my to do list.

A few elements that I will improve on in my rewrite are:

Adding a sense of realism, to make the story and characters feel grounded and relatable. Disenchanted completely tossed out their realism and it ended up getting overweighted by the Fantasy aspect like an unbalanced measuring scale. That’s why Tftoml is fully operating on Studio Ghibli logic since it’s films are masters at weaving in realism.

Keeping the main cast consistent, especially Morgan, Robert, and Giselle. That’s why I changed Morgan’s character entirely to make her the main protagonist of my fic to make her more likable since her portrayal in Disenchanted offended and disappointed a lot of teen viewers. It’s a good thing I gave 6 year old Sofie a purpose in my fic as well and her personality is supposed to be a blend of her parents. Robert also ends up acting like a better parent in Tftoml since I gave him a more better character arc, related to his place in his family, since the whole ‘middle aged dad gets a mid life crisis’ is a cliche trope that has been done to death in animation. Spoilers for Tftoml, he doesn’t commute to work but he got transferred to work in his new hometown. Giselle’s character also gets drastically changed since she’s the deuteragonist of Tftoml because Oh my God she suffered from main character syndrome and flanderization from completely forgetting her development in the first film. Spoilers for tftoml She doesn’t want to have the whole dumb ‘fairy tale life’ but her goal is actually related to her new family, trying to be a good mother, a theme the sequel failed to deliver is that “family isn’t defined through blood, but through love” and that’s a message I’m using for my fic.

Finally having the main theme of Emotional maturity. Giselle especially learned this in Enchanted when went from being a Disney Princess archetype to a multi dimensional humanized character. This is a theme that I’m going to have Morgan learn, since unlike the sequel, The fairytale of my life is going to be a Coming of age. A few main lessons I’m going to try and show are, Not every family is going to be perfect, (you all don’t know that the Philips are functional in my fic right now) Not every parent is going to be perfect, not every mother is going to be perfect (Giselle is going to be a good example of this in Tftoml) and the then of accepting change. Some serious topics that will be shown are Childhood trauma, Low self worth/esteem (Both will definitely be shown through Morgan) Toxic femininity and positivity (Which Giselle will embody in my fic), dysfunctional family relationships, and accepting your loved ones for who they are. I’m trying so hard to not be too ambitious.

That’s all I got for an answer and I’m going to stop answering any asks for my fic right now since I’m going to be busy at the start of this month working on chapters 2-3 and I promise I’ll update next post.

[equalseleventhirds]

hi!!! would you be willing to talk about Anna and Mabel being each other’s monsters? My favorite trope is girl and monster (that is, a normal woman and the monster she’s adopted or fallen in love with or what have you) and lately I’ve been thinking hard about how both girls fit both parts of that trope... i would love your thoughts if you’d want to share!!

ohhh man oh MAN um um ok there’s a LOT to talk about here but let’s see what i've got

so first of all, the way in which both of them are simultaneously girl and monster in like, the most obvious ways (not to do with each other, just BEING): two human girls taken under the hill and turned into half-faerie creatures who cannot blend in among humans anymore, and now they are literally ruling over a faerie kingdom, like, that shit fucks. also, they are ‘monsters’ when they talk about how neither of them ‘acted like people’ (it’s a metaphor), but they also fall into the ���girl in a fairytale’ role by being taken away and trapped; it’s a very ‘princess stolen by a dragon’ sort of thing.

(and yet, even when trapped into what would be helplessness, mabel herself rejects her role as ariadne and instead claims to be the minotaur, the spider in the web, etc etc, putting herself into the role of monstrousness when the story archetype she SHOULD be fitting is the maiden in the tower) (something something even the ‘monsters’ are trapped, something luna and vera and aconite and the king are all trapped in their own ways in spite of being also and definitely monstrous, and how fucking much did it rock that the big bad king was just as trapped in his role under the hill actually like how good was that shit)

actually the way even monsters are trapped may contribute to the whole girl-loves-monster dynamic (as opposed to ‘girl trapped by monster’ dynamic, altho like, obvs the faeries are ALSO trapping the girls, but that is both complicated and Different)

and that was like, the things i’d thought of before, bcos i’ve spent a lot of time thinking about them as human-and-monster and how much i love the subversion of what both of those roles are, but then you said ‘being each other’s monsters’ and that hit me like a goddamn TRUCK, how’s it fucking feel to galaxy brain that hard!!!

SO: how is mabel anna’s monster?

from the very beginning, we have mabel as a myth to anna, a figure in a story. and then that myth becomes someone anna resents - for never calling even tho she knows she’s listening, for seemingly abandoning sally so anna has to be the one taking care of her... that whole bit where she’s like ‘i bet mabel doesn’t have to bury dead animals’ is like! ok she was projecting her own frustration and grief, but. yeah.

and then she finally meets mabel, and yes she absolutely sees her as the helpless damsel in distress she has to rescue, but thomas says it, doesn’t he? by meeting mabel, anna has ‘gotten caught up in (the martin family’s) mess.’ mabel (being lured in by her, being caught by her metaphorically/emotionally) is now the reason anna went missing for days and had to handle all the fallout from that, mabel is the reason she’s still in the house... mabel is the reason she’s going to die.

(isn’t that monstrous? to speak to someone for, what, a minute, an afternoon, and destroy their life, doom them to die?)

and when they are under the hill together, mabel continues to be strange to anna, speaks to luna as if she is faerie and anna is not, talks of rules and rituals that make anna feel alienated and clumsy and stupid (although she is not, we know she is not, and mabel knows it too)

then later we learn that mabel has been anna’s monster for so much longer than we realize. from back in nursing school, when she had visions of her and it was too much, terrifying and overwhelming to the point that she broke the connection. from long before anna had even heard her name, mabel was the monster she was running away from

(until she decides to run to her, instead, completing the ‘girl fears monster then discovers no actually she loves the monster’ arc)

now: how is anna mabel’s monster?

i could go through chronologically like i just with anna but actually no, bcos the very first thing that sticks out to me is that, for a significant chunk of the podcast, anna is able to literally control mabel. she doesn’t want to, and she tries not to use it, but she can and a couple of times she even does. and mabel reacts! poorly! obviously!! (what does it mean that ‘the mouth of god’ is the thing about anna that makes her a monster to mabel fjskdlfjs mabelpod said ‘fuck christianity’ thx. they did also say ‘sainthood but gay’ tho which also. valid.)

speaking of mabel’s autonomy and also sainthood (or, more specifically, heroics), how about that time anna tore mabel out from under the hill (where she was trapped, yes, but was also cared for, in a way, by the king; was also powerful and did not have to make herself small; was also away from sally and her cruelty and the house) and stuck in in the house she so loathed, in the human world she could no longer comprehend or love or fit herself into

(and, god, i do so love how mabel said that heroically rescuing the damsel in distress is not a good thing if you have not asked; she is not a prize, an object for your self-sacrificial satisfaction. i love how anna apologized for that, even tho she had good intentions, bcos she did not ask first. i also love how that comes at a time when they are learning that for anna to be king, mabel must be sacrifice and bound to her, and how mabel says, no in this case i will bind myself willingly, and only if you will have me, and this is what will give you the power of a king of monsters, and it is what i choose. how’s that for a girl choosing to love her monster! incredible!!)

BUT going back to anna-as-monster bcos there IS more: is it such a coincidence that veratrine was able to shake mabel so much, by calling her terrible things, by claiming that anna did not love her? is it such a coincidence that anna could scare her that much, not even being there, just the idea of her, the story of her? (monsters and stories about them again! hm!! what a fucking theme i love it)

and of course, how terrified mabel was when she finally met anna. ‘this is the girl who will eat my heart’, right? even before she knew anna would save her, she just saw her and was petrified by love. and you know what, what a fucking theme THAT is, that love is terrifying, love is monstrous, what you love will hurt you and maybe kill you and still you love it and cannot stop (you talked about ‘girl falls in love with monster’ but also mabelpod says ‘girl falls in love and in doing so makes her beloved her monster’ and fjsdkFDJSL wow! wow!!! and then they keep loving anyway!!!! like ok it didn’t work out for juniper but hot damn is it working for mabel and anna!)

[in-the-name-of-the-manga]

Burning Bridges, Building Confidence Prologue

When Marinette's life starts going downhill from the machinations of a liar, she's never felt more alone.

However, a familiar face reappears in Marinette's life after nine years, an event which shakes the situation up, both in and out of her mask. With a new player on the field, friends become enemies and some enemies become friends.

With her new friends at her back, Marinette begins to learn that to move on, some bridges just have to burn. And the match is being lit.

Updates Bi-weekly. Special thanks to @bigcheeseyboi for being my beta reader on this, especially with how long some of these chapters are.

AO3 Link

Marinette felt something off about the air as she wandered down the halls of her school. It felt like an eternity for her to get to the end of the hallway. At the end was the only light coming out of any of the classrooms, accompanied by voices. Her feet seemed to move of her own accord, using an energy her mind and body seemed to lack.

“Thank you so much everyone!” A voice said. Where was the voice from? It made her gut twist and her hairs stand on end. She got to the room and pushed the door open.

The room wasn’t a classroom, it looked like a fairytale wedding venue. Marinette felt a spark run up her spine and saw her clothes had become some mixture between a traditional Chinese wedding dress and a gorgeous trumpet gown, white accented with red; pink and black appearing in the details on the skirt. Her hair felt longer, pulled halfway up in a bun with apple blossom decorations. Thankfully she still felt the energy of her miraculous in her ears.

She stepped into the room, wary of touching anything as she picked up her skirt just enough that she could walk gently. Joy washed over her body, this was her day, the day she’d marry the love of her life. This was her happy ending, the stress of Hawkmoth was behind her and she was marrying someone that loved her completely. She noticed her name on a stray invitation, but she couldn’t read the other name, her eyes couldn’t seem to focus on it. Returning the invitation to the table, she wandered around the area.

Beautiful apple blossom decor mixed with gorgeous white, gold, and black decor. Sometimes she’d see a burst of red in the form of roses or blue in the form of tulips. They both stood out and blended with the deep applewood walls and the cream colored walls. As Marinette studied the cake, one of her parents’ handiwork no doubt, and the custom figures on the top were likely hers, the voice came again.

“This is my happiest day, I’m so glad you could join me on my wedding day!” The voice wasn’t hers. Marinette moved as quick as she could to the large doors that the voice came from, noting the beautifully done makeup on her reflection as she passed. She turned back and noticed the door had vanished. Picking up her dress she wandered inside, hearing a cheering crowd.

She spotted several familiar faces in the crowd, but there were some she couldn't find. Where were her parents? Her Nonna? Uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny? Where was Chloe? The crowd shifted and she could see the couple in the center. Adrien looking wholly uncomfortable and not acting like the groom his ill fitted suit. Next to him, clad in an atrocity that no one with eye would ever consider a dress, let alone one for a wedding, was….

Lila.

The Italian looked like she'd just sauntered in off the streets in a wedding dress made of dime store materials and hatred, gaudy makeup like an 80s Barbie, that hideous mop of sausage hair completely unchanged, and was that orange lipstick!?

Marinette wanted to vomit.

“To the bride!” They cheered. “To the groom!”

“What?” Marinette breathed, bluebell eyes wide. This couldn’t be happening. This was her wedding day, Lila shouldn’t have gotten anywhere near the venue, she wasn’t even invited, and Adrien looked too poorly dressed to be the groom. Where was her other half? She spun around, skirt flaring as she tried to find someone, anyone , who could give her answers.

“Marinette quit looking for attention and come cheer on the newlyweds!” Alya yelled, glaring at someone just over her shoulder, in the glaringly opposite direction of Marinette herself.

“Alya what are you doing!?” Marinette yelled, not noticing how distorted her voice sounded. “I’m right here! My name’s on all the invitations! Can’t you see it isn’t their wedding!? Lila’s lying again!”

“Marinette don’t be selfish!” Kim called, again not in the direction of the actual bride. “Just be happy for them!”

Marinette ran around the group, trying to get their attention. Each time she called out, they spat some insult or admonishment about how she should be celebrating the false bride at the true bride’s wedding. Finally she yelled,

“You’re not even looking at me!” She heard a sob, two sobs, a whole symphony of sobs. The true bride spun on her heels and ran toward the noise. Suddenly it all became clear.

Her mother, dressed in a gown similar to those of the rest of the bridal party, a soft pink with an apple blossom ornament in her hair, sobbed on the ground. Her father embraced his wife, drowning her in his large form, large tears rolling down his face. Nonna was crying, comforted by her grandfather, while Uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny were crying too.

“Mama? Papa?” Marinette approached warily. “Nonna? Uncle Jagged? What’s wrong? What’s going on?” Her shoes clacked on the flooring as she approached, only to screech to a halt as she saw what they were crowded around.

It was her. Face ashen and dress covered in blood splatter. Her nails were bloody and broken, while her eyes looked sunken. Right over her heart was what had to be the result of several stab wounds, spreading the blood off her still form and across the floor.

“Can you believe Marinette?” A voice called over her shoulder. “Faking a stab wound for attention, bet she got her entire family in on it.”

“What the hell is wrong with you people!?” Marinette yelled. “I’ve been stabbed! I’m dead! Oh my god I’m dead at my own wedding!”

She ran to the crowd, anger boiling under her skin. She shoved past Nathaniel and Alix, bursting into the center around the false couple. “What are you people doing!? There’s a dead body over there and they’re clearly NOT the people getting married today! That liar is wearing cheap dress that looks like it came from a halloween store and she,” Marinette spun on her heel only to stop. “She killed me.”

Lila, seemingly the only one able to see the true Marinette standing in front of her, stood proud, her cheap dress covered in blood splatter, a still gorey knife in the place of a bouquet. An evil grin was stretched across her face, “I’m so happy that everyone I love could join me on my wedding day.” She said, as if it were the truth. A blood red string wound it’s way around from her fingertips to the joints of those around her. The guests were no longer people, they were puppets, strings held by a liar.

“I told you you’d lose everything,” Lila sneered, glaring at the bride. “Your life will be in shambles, because no one will love you, no one will be at your side.”

Before Marinette could react, the faux bride slammed the knife into the bride’s chest.

~~~~~~~~

Marinette awoke with a yell, bolting upright. Her eyes jolted around the room, scared she’d find a lying Italian with a knife in her room. Tikki was at her side in a moment.

“Marinette breathe,” She urged. “It was just a dream.”

“It was horrible Tikki,” Marinette said, shaking like a leaf. “I-I was at the school, then it was my w-wedding. But Lila was there, acting like it was her wedding. Everyone was telling me I was causing a scene, but I wasn’t even there! They were talking to my dead body in a corner, Lila had killed me, her dress was bloody and everything, but they thought I was faking. T-then, she stabbed me and I woke up.”

Tikki frowned, wiping tears from her chosen’s eyes, tilting the girl’s head up with a paw. “Marinette, I promise you, nothing like that will ever happen, not on my watch. As long as I’m kicking, she will never be able to come after you like that, no one will.”

“Thank you Tikki,” Marinette sniffled. She wiped her eyes again and looked over at the clock, it was a little past three thirty, and she needed as much sleep as she could get. “I’ll try to go back to sleep, good night Tikki.”

“Good night Marinette,” the red kwami kissed her chosen’s forehead, leaving a bit of magic glowing on the spot. “Have some good dreams this time.”

As Marinette drifted off to happy memories and the feeling of flying over the Parisian night sky, Tikki settled down next to her, angrier and more determined than ever that things needed to change.

~~~~~~

Elsewhere in Paris a car pulled up to a more upscale multi-floor abode. The doors opened and a teenager stepped out. Nodding their thanks to the driver, they got their bags out of the trunk of the car, allowing the driver to leave. The teen checked their phone’s address book.

“This is the place,” they said in English. They lifted their bags over their shoulders and moved up the steps. When they got to the door they knocked boldly. The light flickered on in the living room and the door clicked before opening.

Standing before them was a woman with the same brown hair and green eyes. Wrapped in a bathrobe and wearing slippers, tears sprung into the woman’s eyes.

“Hi Mom.” The two collapsed into a hug, neither afraid of the tears running down their cheeks attracting any akuma. They were tears of joy after all.

[soul-music-is-life]

I've seen some of your post on the bullshit heartbeat bill in your state and I'm just wondering how you're dealing.

I have stared at this ask for a while, wondering whether or not I wanted to get in depth into this conversation. But I do have a lot to say on the matter. A while back I drafted a blog post that I toyed with sharing, but ultimately held off. Until now.

There’s…a lot to be covered.

First, thank you for sparking me to put this out there. I feel as though it’s important enough to say what I have to say on this. And though this platform is usually used for fandom stuff (I use other platforms for my political stuff), I’m not afraid to get real now and again.

Second, let me state that I have a background in medicine and a family heavily involved and working in politics…so I know how this goes.

I’m going to pre-empt this by saying that I am not going to argue with anyone who is pro-life who reads and disagrees. If you agree, great. If you disagree, there is no point in trying to fight me…because we will never see eye to eye.

This is strictly an argument based on why I’m against politics and religion in medicine. I am not looking for a debate here. There is no debate to be had. If you can’t look at things without religion, or if you can’t understand scientific/medical facts it’s a moot point.

It’s a long one. Saddle up.

Religion vs. Medicine:

Christianity should have no place in medicine (the bible condemns polyester blends, playing with pigskin, gambling, and divorce, but Christians still shop til they drop, support football, play the lottery, and divorce their spouses). Yet we get lawmakers constantly using the bible as a talking point (”Thank God” and “As God intended”) for this argument and ignoring testimony from physicians with degrees in science.

Men (with the exception of those whose sperm fertilized an egg in a consensual act) should have no say in what happens inside of a uterus that does not belong to them (and even then, it should be a discussion between those two people and their doctor, not a government made up of religious zealot white women and white-boys without uteri).

The government should not infringe upon individual rights of medical privacy via HIPAA.

Basically:

If you can not argue without the basis of religion (or you keep using “God” or The Bible as your baseline) or if you are not someone who has a uterus or in the medical profession or a woke dude/lady, you have no fucking say.

If you are a Christian forcing your beliefs upon the population based upon a magical book that has absolutely no proof, you have no fucking say. (see Separation of Church and State).

If you are a politician forcing your agenda upon every person with a uterus based upon something you can absolutely never experience, you have no fucking say.

If you do not have a background in science and you’re basing your opinions upon a movie (”Unplanned”) that is nothing more than political propaganda (and a pro-life “advocate” who saw dollar signs and a means to fame) then you have no fucking say (and yes, I’ve seen the film, which was nothing more than a religious backed, over-dramatized flick poorly representing abortions and relied heavily upon cheap emotional manipulation and inaccurate CGI). As someone who has seen medical procedures…it was exaggerated in the film. It is absolutely not a representation of safe and legal abortions. It also does not address the confidentiality between patient/doctor (See HIPAA and the testimony of physicians in this matter).

The fact of the matter is that people who are informed, intelligent, and know about the subject in depth are against these abortion bans, because they know it’s extreme and infringes upon basic rights. This includes women, our allies, and in some cases…people who are religiouswho stand with the pro-choice movement (I see you all, too, don’t doubt that…this is not a reflection upon men and Christians in general. This is about the extremists).

If you fall into the extreme religious or non-medical community category or you are a politician with no medical training and you’re writing bills and arguing against basic human rights…you can shut the fuck up.

***

For the sake of facts, let’s break it down:

-Sexual education can be informative, and the preventatives used to prevent pregnancy can fail. Condoms break. The pill can fail (and let’s not even get into the horrible side effects that contraceptives have on women. Let’s talk about the fact that there was actually a birth control for men that companies tried to put on the market, but the side effects were too ‘dangerous’. Sure, like high blood pressure and hormonal imbalances are something women look forward to). But yeah, let’s put all the responsibility on the woman.

-Women are raped, and given the trauma that occurs…they should not have to PROVE they were raped in order to receive medical treatment…including abortion. It’s horrific enough as it is, and there is NO wrong way to deal with the trauma. They shouldn’t have an additional stigma to be treated medically.

-Women who tend to make the choice to have an abortion have looked at their options and have made an informed CHOICE (that’s what this is about). And it’s not always at the 6-8 week mark, because hey…there are things such as irregular periods. Cis-men hating on women, let’s talk about women’s reproduction for a minute. Have you ever spent 7 days bleeding out of an orifice of your body? Have you ever shed the lining of an internal organ? Have you ever had blood clots inside of your body that feel like fucking death? Have you ever had your panties soaked in blood? Have you ever gotten stressed and missed a period or had medical issues that caused you to have irregular cycles? No? Okay, so how about the stressors of pregnancy? How about the changes a woman’s body goes through? How about the emotional and physical toll it takes? Truth is, hetero-normal men who are so deep-set in their beliefs will NEVER view women as equal. Reality is…we women areintelligent enough to make our own decisions.

-An embryo at 6-8 weeks is not viable. The so called “heartbeat” is an electrical activity in a group of cells that is at maximum a few inches long. There is no heartbeat, because there IS no heart. It hasn’t formed. There is not a cardiovascular system. It’s a vibration in a cell. It is ONLY active because of the woman. At this point it is NOT a child. I see pro-life/pro-birth people going, “but…but SCIENCE…Life at conception!” without understanding the depth of their actual words. The medical community knows their shit. And people can challenge them all they want with their opinions upon when life is sentient, but the truth is that there is no brain activity this early because IT IS NOT A HUMAN. It is an embryo, which can not exist without the mother’s body. Yet politicians use the term “heartbeat” because they know there are uneducated people out there who will eat it up and back them.

-Abortion is situational, and trying to force a law upon women based upon the preconceived notion that ALL women are using it as a form of birth control is ignorant, ill-informed, and extremely sanctimonious. There are numerous reasons for abortion, and none of them are the government’s fucking business.

Why religion and politics is a slippery slope in medicine:

Using a religious bias in a political war is against everything in the judiciary and legislative branch, and it is a slippery slope that is dangerous to patient care. When we start listening to “Gods” and evangelical people over actual physicians there is a huge problem. Ask yourself this question: if you were dying and a surgery could save your life…would you call a priest to perform the procedure? Or a licensed physician? If you choose a priest, enjoy seeing your version of the afterlife, because you’re going to die.

Abby Johnson (”Unplanned) is not a doctor. She is someone who “found God” and is using that to exploit the situation with her own views as a claim to fame. She ran a Planned Parenthood (in her own words). ONE chapter, which means it’s a FRACTION of the actual unit. She does not have a PHD. Her accusations against physicians are bullshit and is frankly an insult to actual doctors who perform safe medical procedures every day.

Politicians have no knowledge of medical protocols and treatments (and in a lot of cases know an embarrassingly low amount about women’s reproductive organs). And in many cases it is old white men (and religious white women) dictating what a woman can do with her body. If you think that’s okay, you’re part of the problem.

Religious zealots hold fast to beliefs written in a fairytale rather than learn the scientific facts associated with the base of their argument. They can’t grasp the concept that an organism can be created in a petrie dish with a “beating heart”, because of muscle contractions, not because it’s “alive” or “sentient”. They would rather blindly follow a God that may or may not exist rather than listen to educated physicians who know the topic.

Rapid fire question: if an unconscious woman and a frozen embryo were in a burning building and you could only save one of them, which one would you choose? Something that is not aware and is only a potential for life? Or the actual living breathing human?

This shit is not about “saving babies”. Politicians couldn’t give a shit about babies after they are born. It’s about controlling women/trans-folk and telling people what they can do with their body (it’s funny how Republican politicans haven’t outlawed smoking or drinking, because hey…that kills you! “AnD wE aRE PRo-LiFE!”).

Anyone who can’t see that all these abortion laws are just plays for politicians to pursue their own political pursuits is an idiot.

A Note about Georgia’s Abortion Law/Kemp

In my state, there was talks that Kemp was overheard saying that even if he wanted to veto the bill he couldn’t due to “his campaign promises”. Which is absolute bullshit, because given the polls…he knew that a majority of the people in his state are against it. This bill was co-sponsored by three men and three women who are basing it heavily upon religious purposes (if you don’t believe me, look up Ed Setzler, he’s been quoted several times leaning on religious propaganda for this bill). It was then voted through by a bunch of old white men.

Convenient how they threw the one token woman up front (but honestly, fuck her…because she should know better). The fact of the matter is that those who voted on this are a bunch of “good ole boys” with religious principles trying to bypass the fact that there is a separation of church and state. This bill has had numerous polls conducted to the constituents, and while they were divided…the PRO-CHOICE voice won every single poll. Put this up for a vote and I guarantee this would not become a law.

Kemp waited weeks to sign this (unlike the governor of Alabama).

Why?

Because he knew that most of his constituents were against this (given the polls that were conducted), but due to political pressure he couldn’t veto for fear that he’d lose the religious/deeply rooted republican votes. Even Kemp seemed to realize that this is against the moral rights of his citizens. But he doesn’t give a shit. Because as long as his pockets are lined with money and he can ignore his constituents, it’s all gravy for him.

To take this a step further, this asshole is the man who pointed a gun at a kid jokingly in an age where school shootings are rampant, as a joke…for political purposes. Cuz, ya know…violence is funny.

He’s “pro-life” but he shoots things.

This man is sponsored by the National Hunting and Fishing association, who supports killing living breathing things with a heartbeat for sport or “because it tastes good”.

I challenge anyone who is so “pro-heartbeat” to never shoot their guns again to kill something. Because hey, life is so precious to you, right? You value heartbeats so effing much, stop killing living breathing things. Nut up or shut up.

Actually, no, don’t nut up. That’s the reason for unplanned pregnancies in the first place. Just shut up.

…that will never happen. And you want to know why?

Because this is not about life. They don’t give a shit about “life”. This is about power. This is about control.

If you can’t see that an entire gender is being used for political gain then you need to wake the fuck up.

I’ll end this by saying that, yes, there might be some common ground that can be found here. In the people out there fighting every day for their rights. In the allies we have coming out of the woodworks. In the physicians who fought like hell for us in court.

I’m not an unreasonable person. I do believe in sensible laws. These bans are not sensible. They’re a power play. And that’s fucked up. And as much as I’d love to pack up and leave, I don’t have that option. A lot of people don’t (and in fact, I think the “Boycott GA” movement is so fucking stupid, because that doesn’t hurt the people in power. It hurts the PEOPLE).

So if you’re pissed off, remember this at the polls. Know who your reps are. And if they are for this bullshit, vote their asses out.

Flip their fucking seats.

I’m tired, you guys. Let’s get our rights back. Let’s take our state back.

[coolworldlitstuff]

The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao Chapter 1-3

I think Oscar’s childhood dates affected how he sees himself. At first he has two little girlfriends, one that is beautiful and one that isn’t in society’s eyes so he felt like he could have anything then the pretty girlfriend makes him break up with the other, in turn the pretty girlfriend leaves him for someone else. As he gets older, puberty doesn’t treat him well neither does it treat Olga, the girl he broke up with. I think both of them were negatively affected by the breaks they endured as kids because from a young age they learned about rejection.  He tried working out and did eventually get a hair cut but they were all temporary fixes with temporary results. I think maybe if he had actually focused on building his own identity and finding self love, it might have changed how he saw himself. 

In my opinion, he needed to drop his friends sooner, they weren’t really his friends if they were ashamed of him for looking the way he does. And the fact they went on dates and didn’t include him was wrong. It was good that he got away for a while and was able to focus on his writing. I don’t think that negatively affected him, yes he probably could have ended up getting a couple of dates or something but I think writing helped him become more self aware.

Ana was bad news from the beginning. The moment they became friends, I knew she was going to break his heart. Especially with the way she talked about her ex so much. I knew she wasn’t over him even if he treated her like less than dirt and was abusive. I felt bad for Oscar when he thought it was a date after she said he could call it that. I actually ended up in a very similar situation except I dated the person for almost a year and then they told me they just saw me as a friend and didn’t actually like me after they said it was dating so it was a mess and I completely related to Oscar in this situation. It made my heart hurt for him because it really sucks to think the person likes you back but in reality they just see you as a friend. But hopefully as the story progresses he comes to the realization that it’s okay and that happens in life and we shouldn’t let it get to us because there is so much more to life than someone liking us back. 

One thing I am confused by is did he actually kill Manny or did he just want to? The author doesn’t provide much detail afterwards so I’m still unsure.

I didn’t expect Oscar to make friends at school, especially at Rutgers even though this is a different setting from today, I know that school can have cliques. I feel bad for him and wish he had gone to a school that he would have fit into. He could have attended a school that focused on arts or something else in his field of interest.

Lola is my favorite character so far. I can relate to her and how she feels growing up and how her childhood trauma affects her. I feel one of the reasons she resented her mother is because the way the mother responded to her after Lola spoke out about it. I think this plays a huge role in why she changes the way she looks and makes herself into a person her mother would hate because being punk is considered rebellious. Punk culture is for the outcasts who are never going to be normal or accepted by society because they live outside of social norms without caring. I think she felt this might be a great way for her to rebel. 

Running away was not the best idea, either way she was trapped whether it was with the mother or the boyfriend and his looney father. I mean he clearly was crazy if he  doesn’t even want her to go into the refrigerator and as it progressed even her boyfriend starts to treat her poorly. She was sort of stuck at that point because she lost the job and now she was stuck in a toxic environment with no where to go.

When she decided to call home, I had a feeling she was going to get caught. I knew Oscar was going to say something. Oscar telling everyone really upsets me. I don’t think that Lola should be alone because that’s very dangerous but he shouldn’t have broken her trust. Especially that the mother fake cries and everything, like I think that shows how manipulative she can be. Although it probably worked out for Lola in the long run because she was able to visit her grandma. Lola visting her grandma was good for her in my opinion. The mother doesn’t really provide a healthy living environment for Lola so I think it’s good that she is with someone that is more respectful of her and loving towards her. Lola is definitely damaged from the mother’s verbal abuse so having somewhere to go that takes her away from it is a good thing. Plus she is attends a new school and is back to being involved in track. 

Beli’s past really shows why she has become the person that she is today. I think she felt displaced as a child and might have had an identity crisis. It is normal for teens to want to move away but I think the fact her parents died really affected her plus the way La Inca found her with scars in a chicken coop explains more. It seemed like she might have felt like she never had control over her life and felt insecure about it, and also didn’t like to be reminded of her past and where she came from. For instance when La Inca spoke of Beli’s parents, she would get upset about it and tell her she was her parent. Also the situation with her crush Jack, she wanted him to notice her but she blended in with everyone else and was of no importance to him until puberty hit and this changed everything for her. Men all over started noticing her, wanting to see her. Even the dentist tried to meet up with her which was creepy. But her new body made her feel in control. She realized she could have anything, not realizing physical attraction is not everything and most relationships based off attraction don’t last long. She was young and thought she and Jack would marry. But he of course was a player and was engaged to someone else. She gave him her virginity because she believed he was going to marry her. She was hung up on him even after he was sent to a military school. She still thought he would come back to her. I think that was a big problem for her, she was still very young and had the idea that fairytales existed and in the end that’s why she had her heart broken so many times. She could have taken La Inca’s advise and focused on school and built herself but I don’t think she knew how to. She didn’t have a stable self image and I think she thought you had to be with a man to be worth something. 

When she met Gangster, everything changed for her. She had just gotten over Jack and for her, I think she truly believed this was going to be her final love. I think beating him up made her feel more comfortable around him but I also think she liked that he had grabbed his arm. Clearly by the way he was described, he couldn’t have been too attractive so I don’t know what attracted her to him all I can think is that it was because he challenged her and she won.

She was so young and naïve that he thrived off it. He was able to make empty promises and she believed he loved her. I think that’s sad and he was so disgusting. I feel bad because she truly believed he would buy her a house and they would have a family and live happily ever after. But when she got pregnant he didn’t even want her to have it. Of course she told Dorca about being pregnant and she shouldn’t have but I think being pregnant made her feel grown up and it made her think she was closer to them getting married and living happily ever after but instead he was married to Trujillo’s sister and she wants her dead. It’s proof he didn’t care about her, even after she had been beaten half to death and lost the baby, he was so detached to that. I don’t understand why she still loved him and why she wasn’t sick of him. He told her they could have another baby, like how did that not make her angry? 

Also, why would she tell her ex boyfriends about her new love affair? I guess it’s because she was a child but that’s like a huge no-no. She was lucky she was able to beat up her ex and then also lucky the police let her go. That was crazy and I cannot imagine going through that.

Jose and Juan really cared about Beli from what I can tell. They ran to her aid when the Elvises came after her. Even after everything, they seemed to have still cared about her even though her boyfriend threated them to give her her job back.  

Mirabel Sisters died in canefields and I feel that if Beli stayed in DR then she would have died as they did even though El Jefe was killed. I think his sister would have definitely tracked her down to kill her. I don’t know why they left her alive in the first place but I think maybe they wanted to see if she would live or die out there. Maybe they did that with the sisters. Left them to see how long they would live until death.

Beli and Lola are actually quite similar. They both are very stubborn and they are ready to fight. They don’t want people messing with them and if you do, they’ll make you regret it. They both want to leave home and be their own autonomous person without being told what to do by a parent. I think Beli subconsciously sees herself in Lola and hates it. I also think she might be a strict parent because she doesn’t want Lola to make the same mistakes as her but I also in a way think she takes out her anger on her children because she is frustrated how her life turned out. She’s had her heart broken three times by three different men. Sometimes heart break can truly harden someone’s heart and they are afraid to let anyone in, even in a platonic manner.

[eurosong]

2016 vs 2017

Another year has come, and a new set of songs is complete to evaluate and compare with the class before it! I didn’t see one of these Eurovision 2016 vs 2017 templates yet, so I made one. Feel free to use the one I include in the comments to make your own comparisons! I also made a chart where the further to the left a song appears, the more I preferred the 2016 version, and to the right, the more I preferred the 2017 version. The songs up the top are ones I rank highly, the ones down the bottom not so much -- so Estonia appears in the top left hand corner for being one of my favourites in 2016 and one of my least favourite this year; Belarus is in the top-right corner because I love their entry this year but was left cold by Ivan’s. The closer to the centre, the more I like both entries.

Albania: Fairytale vs World Ah, Albania - the country where you can almost always be certain that a “revamp” means that anything special about the winning song of the national final will be removed. Luckily, this year’s World is slightly less catastrophic than the revamp of Përallë, which in its original version, I found stronger than Botë. I still find the revamp removed most of its mystery though... Armenia: LoveWave vs Fly with Me Both strong, experimental songs, but Fly with me’s masterful use of traditional Armenian instrumentation blended with influences from Japan is more impressive to me. Australia: Sound of Silence vs Don't Come Easy I was not fully on board the Sound of Silence hype train, and found her live rendition quite shouty, but it’s better than this year’s entry. I’m so distracted by the way he tries to look so sad. Austria: Loin d’ici vs Running on Air I applauded Austria for striking a blow for linguistic diversity, even if I found the song annoyingly repetitive. Better for me than this year’s unconsequential effort, though. Azerbaijan: Miracle vs Skeletons Miracle should have stayed in the semis - a dull song poorly sung. Skeletons, on the other hand, is one of the most contemporary things ever sent by Azerbaijan. Belarus: Help you fly vs Historyja majgo zyccia As much as I found IVAN’s lupine fetish and attempts to “rock out with his cock out” amusing, this lovely, carefree song and début of the Belarusian language at Eurovision is leagues ahead. Belgium: What’s the pressure vs City Lights Last year, we got a song that was 2010s trying to do 1990s trying to do 1970s. This year, we get something so fresh that it sounds almost futuristic. Bulgaria: If love were a crime (as much as I like the song, I refuse to not use the subjunctive correctly) vs Beautiful Mess When Beautiful Mess comes on, I can enjoy the song, but often I don’t notice. When Poli’s barnstormer comes on, I find myself dropping everything and singing along. No contest. Continue below:

Croatia: Lighthouse vs My Friend Two songs with weird vocals - the “two men inside one” act by Jacques and the unbearably twee vox from Nina. When I first heard My Friend, I considered it a boiling hot mess, but I’ve since warmed to the crazy idea behind it. That being said, whilst it’s not my cup of tea, Lighthouse is the better song. Cyprus: Alter Ego vs Gravity Both of a similar pop-dressed-as-rock ilk. I prefer the former. Czechia: I Stand vs My Turn I Stand felt like a pæon to co-dependent relationships. I like My Turn, sincere and low-key. Denmark: Soldiers of Love vs Where I Am Not a fan of either, but at least Where I am doesn’t give me hives. Estonia: Play vs Verona My #1 track of 2016 versus one of my most hated and so repetitive tracks of 2017. No contest for me. Finland: Sing it away vs Blackbird Blackbird is quite gorgeous. Sing it away was like What’s the pressure, but less good. France: J’ai cherché vs Requiem Alma is no Amir. Georgia: Midnight Gold vs Keep the Faith Midnight Gold was original - Keep the faith must be one of the most generic tracks this year. I find the pseudo-political message and the shouty vocals obnoxious too. Germany: Ghost vs Perfect Life Neither one great in my book. Greece: Utopian Land vs This is Love Utopian Land was, at least, something daring and different. This is love is so generic that it makes me bleed tears of blood. Hungary: Pioneer vs Origo I love Hungary at the ESC and find both songs great, but Origo impacts me more. I love the traditional instrumentation and the hugely heartfelt performance. And the fact it’s in Hungarian! Iceland: Hear them calling vs Paper Liked Hear them calling a lot and still can’t understand how it failed to qualify. Paper manages to edge it though as I really find myself connecting with the subtly clever lyrics. Ireland: Sunlight vs Dying to Try I love Dying to try’s subdued melancholic vibes - until all of a sudden when it turns into an X Factor winners’ singer with that drop and cringeworthy key change. Better than the forgettable Sunlight, though. Israel: Made of Stars vs I Feel Alive I feel alive has grown on me, but I prefer the more soulful effort from last year. Italy: No degree of separation vs Occidentali's Karma No contest, even despite having excised the best verse of the song. Latvia: Heartbeat vs Line I like Line, but you cannot compete with Aminata. Lithuania: I’ve been waiting for this night vs Rain of Revolution One of the glorious trio of Baltic boys against an unholy squawkfest. Macedonia: Dona vs Dance Alone I dig Dance alone, even though it reminds me of several songs I already heard in the 1980s. Dona, on the other hand, brought tears to my eyes. Queen Kaliopi deserved so much more. Malta: Walk on water vs Breathlessly Don’t like either, but at least 2016 didn’t put me to sleep. Moldova: Falling Stars vs Hey, Mamma! Find both subpar to be honest. Montenegro: The Real Thing vs Space A rapey rhyme (INSIDE YOUUU) vs something even more cringeworthy. The fact that Space keeps getting described as “art” further convinces me into preferring the former. Netherlands: Slow down vs Lights and Shadows I’ve started to enjoy this year’s Dutch entry, which isn’t my typical style but whose lyrics began to speak to me. Still no match for Douwe Bob’s instant classic. Norway: Icebreaker vs Grab the Moment Both are a disappointment compared to Silent storm and A monster like me, but at least Grab the moment is one song instead of a cacophonous blend of 2-3.

Poland: Color of your life vs Flashlight Not a huge fan of either song, but Szpak’s was very heartfelt - and didn’t sound like it was written with a beginners’ rhyming dictionary, unlike Flashlight (fire/desire/higher!) Portugal: Há um mar que nos separa vs Amar pelos dois I have so much love and respect for Portugal. I like their 2015 effort, but the stunningly timeless entry this year is my #1 so far and moves me every time I hear it. Romania: Moment of Silence vs Yodel It! I came to enjoy the Meatloaf-style broadside against corruption that was Moment of Silence before its sad DQ. Yodel it! has the edge though, as it makes me quite happy whenever I listen to it. Russia: You are the only one vs Flame Is Burning Absolutely no contest.  San Marino: I didn’t know vs Spirit of the Night I didn’t know was entertainingly creepy. I cannot listen to Spirit of the night all the way through. Serbia: Shelter vs In Too Deep I much prefer Shelter, which sounded contemporary and influenced by local musical tradition at the same time, to this Katy Perry clone. Slovenia: Blue and red vs On My Way Better faux Taylor Swift than the somnifacient schlocky attempt at Broadway. Spain: Say yay! vs Do It for Your Lover The people’s choice over the jury’s choice. Sweden: If I were sorry vs I Can't Go On If I were sorry was very clever, lyrically speaking. I can’t go on is just scumbag pop writ large. Switzerland: Last of our kind vs Apollo I much prefered Timebelle’s earlier attempt at the big stage, Singing about love, but even Apollo is better than the bizarre pee-pee dance from last year. Ukraine: 1944 vs Time Time won’t do nearly as well, but I prefer it as a composition. United Kingdom: You’re not alone vs Never Give Up on You Upbeat britpop beats this insincere ballad.

For those who want to play along, here are the songs: Albania: Fairytale vs World Armenia: LoveWave vs Fly with Me Australia: Sound of Silence vs Don't Come Easy Austria: Loin d’ici vs Running on Air Azerbaijan: Miracle vs Skeletons Belarus: Help you fly vs Historyja majgo zyccia Belgium: What’s the pressure vs City Lights Bulgaria: If love were a crime (I refuse to not use the subjunctive correctly) vs Beautiful Mess Croatia: Lighthouse vs My Friend Cyprus: Alter Ego vs Gravity Czechia: I Stand vs My Turn Denmark: Soldiers of Love vs Where I Am Estonia: Play vs Verona Finland: Sing it away vs Blackbird France: J’ai cherché vs Requiem Georgia: Midnight Gold vs Keep the Faith Germany: Ghost vs Perfect Life Greece: Utopian Land vs This is Love Hungary: Pioneer vs Origo Iceland: Here them calling vs Paper Ireland: Sunlight vs Dying to Try Israel: Made of Stars vs I Feel Alive Italy: No degree of separation vs Occidentali's Karma Latvia: Heartbeat vs Line Lithuania: I’ve been waiting for this night vs Rain of Revolution Macedonia: Dona vs Dance Alone Malta: Walk on water vs Breathlessly Moldova: Falling Stars vs Hey, Mamma! Montenegro: The Real Thing vs Space Netherlands: Slow down vs Lights and Shadows Norway: Icebreaker vs Grab the Moment Poland: Color of your life vs Flashlight Portugal: Há um mar que nos separa vs Amar pelos dois Romania: Moment of Silence vs Yodel It! Russia: You are the only one vs Flame Is Burning San Marino: I didn’t know vs Spirit of the Night Serbia: Shelter vs In Too Deep Slovenia: Blue and red vs On My Way Spain: Say yay! vs Do It for Your Lover Sweden: If I were sorry vs I Can't Go On Switzerland: Last of our kind vs Apollo Ukraine: 1944 vs Time United Kingdom: You’re not alone vs Never Give Up on You

[mwheelerbooks]

Shortcake’s Sonder Story

Preceded by Chaos VOL. 0

Written by Danielle Morales-Klima Illustrated by Brian Bicknell Directed by M. Wheeler

To get on a plane is to be free.

To have the money and time and friendships to conquer a long weekend in Amsterdam is a special kind of wonderful. I never stop counting my blessings when, just a short time after the plane has taken off, I stretch my legs and pull my luggage into a country where I wasn’t born, but one which I still have the privilege to see. Those who can simply hop on trains are a bit luckier, but just think how much nicer we have it than the Americans. Still though, as me and my mate drag our belongings to the cab, I can’t help but feel distracted and disgusted by the obvious- most of the people landing in the Amsterdam airport today are young, male and white- meaning that it is highly unlikely they’re going to be bonding over the Dutch masters while eating bitterballenbruid. You can spot it immediately in the way they scan the airport with overtly excited eyes as though expecting to be greeted by a chorus line of women in their knickers. They’re obtuse and annoying, especially the Americans, whose lack of awareness is staggering.

“You mean to say that some of those women don’t want to be prostitutes?”

No, gorgeous women from all over the world traveled all this way, just to stand in a window like merchandise for men and boys on holiday- because it’s their idea of fun. Are you having a laugh?

Angelica, sedate but excited, leaned over gently towards me from her seat on the other side of the taxi. “I’ll never get over how many bikes there are,” she said smiling, blue eyes lit up and flashing and what’s usually a trivial, over noticed detail, seems glorious when she says it with so much praise. I smiled, dropping one arm over her.

“Well, it’s 6pm now. Shall we check in, meet Margaret, get dinner and then see what trouble we can find?”

“Absolutely,” She said.

Margaret, The Flirt.

Margaret who took an earlier flight, she said because her office closed early, but it’s really because she likes privacy on foreign soil. She likes the potential to squeeze in a romance without the prying eyes of her mates. She is what some would refer to as ‘that girl,’ you know, the only one in a group of women whose novelty towards her sexuality drawing attention lasted beyond secondary school. Still, I would be lying if I didn’t say that you will never have as much fun with anyone as you will on a night out with her. She’s like the Piped Piper of well, not rats exactly, but … yeah, sometimes they’re rats and when they’re not, they’re definitely man-children. I once saw a guy she’d met at the airport that afternoon board a red eye flight from his vacation in Prague to London because she’d texted him that she was at a bar in the East End. Another one left his girlfriend at a nightclub to follow us to some dive that even we didn’t want to go to. There was a third story, well I don’t exactly remember why that bloke had punched the other one, but I know she had something to do with it. Not exactly the best guys on the market (and some aren’t on the market officially), but I’ll admit, it’s fun to see what kind of hoops she gets them to jump through. Tonight, The Flirt is wearing a short, sparkly silver number and she stands out in Amsterdam, which is so sedate and natural hued. She’d blend in better in San Diego or Los Angeles or really most major American cities, but she’s not too interested in blending in and as we dine, she’s already looking around from table to table for someone just attractive enough. She looks how I imagine a conman does when finding their marks.

Angelica is sitting, reserved, drinking a glass of white wine. Although, I admit she’s more beautiful than either of us, she’s never used a man for anything. She’s friendly and sweet natured and probably the last adult woman alive who still believes in fairytales. Then of course, there’s me. I’ve been told I’m pretty and I can certainly be charming, but the problem is, I can never force a trite conversation over a real one. I don’t want to talk about the latest tweets from the Kardashians, I want to talk to someone who listens and cares and is angered and moved when I tell them that human trafficking is a billion dollar industry, when I tell them that there are still groups of refugees, floating on poorly made boats going from country to country seeking aid and being refused. It doesn’t mean that I don’t want to drink and do drugs and go to concerts and talk with my friends, but for god sake’s, why is there this veil of willful ignorance over my entire generation and why am I shunned for talking about it?

“Oh, he’s cute,” Margaret purred and I looked up to see a tall, dark and handsome Indian gentleman walking the length of the restaurant, wearing a dour expression. She smiled seductively at him and he didn’t notice, merely glancing once and then away and she turned back towards the table, her face scowling with the insult. “Nevermind, where he’s from women probably only weigh seven stone,” she said.

“Jesus Margaret! That’s fucking racist,” I say and even Angelica, someone who never likes to ruffle feathers on anything, shoots her a raise eyebrow. Just then our food comes and Margaret looked truly relieved to not have to hear what I’ll say next.

Hours later, we danced at the too loud Club American and the Indian guy, who’s name I didn’t hear had come along for the ride. He noticed Margaret (of course he did), but was so shy that it took him awhile to act and only then, awkward half sentences at the bar. Now he’s dancing with her, hips completely static and one arm raised as though he might fall at any minute and it occurred to me that maybe he just does everything in an awkward way. A tall blonde man, topless, and holding a 1920’s style cigarette tray walked up to me with a huge smile and a plethora of drugs, displayed on the tray prettier than any jewelry catalogue. “What can I get you, girl?” The impression of the American term of endearment jarring on his tongue. Also jarring is the casual way that drugs are sold here. No big deal, just another Saturday night. I opened my wallet, deciding on a few different varieties of pot and handing over some cash. “Thanks, dude,” he said formally and walked off and I looked around for my mates, Margaret, already bored the moment her conquest stopped playing hard to get and Angelica, looking as out of place as Botticelli’s Venus would look in the grinding, sweating, delirious, half-naked backdrop of a Bosch painting.

Four hours later we were just about to call it a night when two Americans, absolutely worst for the wear, but beaming with energy set their sights on us. As expected, Angelica was a sultry dear in the headlights and as expected, Margaret was displeased, pulling her focus away from the Indian guy whose name I never did get and weighing her options, but it was too late and one of the Americans, one who oscillated from charming to someone about to get into a bar fight and back again had already focused on me. Our Indian friend looked despondent, like a man losing his audience and about to walk off stage. Out of a strange mercy for the led on and dismissed or maybe because the man who was flirting with me is a particularly charming brand of psychotic, I slapped him on the shoulder in a friendly way, finding one of those drug vendors (this time a topless woman in a baseball cap and a opened jersey — Americans are weird) and buying everyone a round of Molly.

The Indian didn’t indulge, but he smiled at me in a ‘thanks for the consolation prize’ sort of way, but then we all watched karma (and quite honestly nature) unfold when the more attractive of the two Americans turned away from Margaret and dipped glorious low, offering his hand to Angelica and she accepted with a charming giggle and they danced, Margaret shrugging, admitting defeat. The one who had attached himself to me was not unattractive, but he pulled me close by the hips so rapidly that if we weren’t in a crowded nightclub, I’d probably have slapped him. He was much and already a little off, but eh, it was a Saturday and I was having fun and so I popped a Molly into his mouth and handed out the rest to my friends — those I’ve known for years and those who’ve just stumbled into our night.

Also by M. Wheeler Books

The Preceded by Chaos Story follows Mitchell, a young Emergency Medicine Doctor from Volume 0 to the plus volumes, as he and his views of the world around him change; as well as, following him retrograde in time through the minus volumes as the reader explores the chaos that cultivated the need for Mitchell to transform into something better…