#poor things is absolutely incredible btw

[manicinsaneviolentwokeidiot]

ive seen poor things and it just occurred to me that it’s literally just reverse boss baby. i can’t even elaborate without spoiling the movie for everyone. I am cursed with the burden of knowledge

[dalliancekay]

Aziraphale and Manipulation

I want to address a couple of things re: manipulation:

Aziraphale is naïve and gullible and easily fooled

Aziraphale is a manipulative asshole who doesn't take no for an answer

Metatron

Points 1 and 2

Funny how both of these seem to be true at the same time for people who dislike Aziraphale or think that Crowley should never be challenged or disagreed with or teased, even though in canon, he literally says or acts in ways that prove he absolutely loves his unpredictable spouse who makes him laugh and react and act in unexpected ways.

Which also points to the strange discrepancy in how fanon Crowley is incredibly powerful, having had created the entire Universe AND brought a human back to life (neither of which is true btw) and also weak cos he gives in to his partner against his will (I know this is not how manipulation of that kind works, but I also don't think people who accuse A+C of this unhealthy dynamic understand our couple so it's just a stupid comparison because Aziraphale knows exactly when to back down from teasing his love, much like he did with the car colour to calm Crowley's agitation).

I am not going to address these points at any length anyway, because I think they are, frankly stupid. I am just pointing out that people who make Aziraphale a villain can make him a villain in any way they wish, even if the points are on opposite scales and both untrue.

And just so you know, Crowley would hate you for this. Crowley adores the angel because Aziraphale is constantly challenging him, surprising him and bringing his best self out. Because Aziraphale is silly and kind and believes in the best of everyone and thinks being good is a superpower.

Point 3

I feel like my manipulative and your manipulative might be different manipulatives in the fandom. Especially when it comes to Final 15.

For me, Metatron being manipulative means him not saying things straight, not saying what he really means, because such things as he wants and plans are not really 'good' good, if you see what I mean. And we can't have that for Heaven. After all, we aren't killing Job's kids... we are just ... not stopping Hell from killing them - Gabriel learned from the best. When Metatron decided on running circles around Aziraphale and has carefully chosen his words ("Now if you wanted to work with him again, that might be considered irregular..."), he made sure Aziraphale understood that the 'offer' was actually a way out of something far worse that Metatron was not going to stoop down to name (or perhaps he did but we didn't see it).

And Aziraphale understood and his heart broke and he started to feel truly terrified (we saw it in real time - just compare the above gif with the below one when Furfur too, threatened Crowley

And then poor Aziraphale tried to go on and explain all this to Crowley while not knowing how and suspecting he will be closely monitored while doing so.

Now. Anyone who thinks Aziraphale would want to make Crowley an angel to make him HAPPIER has completely misunderstood both Aziraphale and imo, Good Omens too.

Crowley was happy when we met him before time in S2 because he was innocent and fully himself (3/4 goofy, 1/4 part self-centred). This is not something Aziraphale could achieve (even if wanted to - but why would he?) by making him an angel again. And he's definitely not stupid to think this would happen. It might have happened if they took Crowley's memories perhaps. And he'd be back to his young self. Like Gabriel/Jim. And if you think Aziraphale would agree (or like!) that, you are insane.

This:

is a threat. Letting Aziraphale know that him going to Heaven (and Crowley agreeing to one more drastic change on top of going there) is the only way they could perhaps work together again. Staying, was never an option. And I don't actually care if that's something that can be done and/or whether Metatron would have followed through if Crowley by some miracle had said yes.

Because Metatron clearly expected Crowley will say no (I also suspect he had good reasons to expect this, perhaps some that Aziraphale doesn't know of), and I bet Aziraphale knew in his heart of hearts that Crowley would never agree either. Perhaps he didn't even want him to agree. He wouldn't want Crowley to be unhappy. But then, he was going to end up unhappy anyway, was he not? They both were. There was no other way. So if Aziraphale allowed himself a bit of hope that they could be together still, who are we to blame and judge him for it? (No, don't answer that.) He must have thought this is forever. That they are parting forever.

But for some people, it seems to me, Metatron being manipulative means that Metatron pulled on some of Aziraphale's 'strings' and blinded him to make him come to Heaven against reason/common sense/better options/forever and ever with his love.

whether it's his trust that Heaven can be made good (Aziraphale is many things, but he is not vain, he could not possibly think he can fix Heaven by himself like some incarnation of Melon Tusk. Try? Perhaps. With Crowley? Maybe. But in current situation? He did not believe that.

or perhaps Aziraphale missed Heaven? Missed being part of the Plan? Missed God? Wanted to get back on it? Like the poor little lost sheep he is? Please. The angel pursed his lips and looked over his shoulder when Crowley was happily switching on stars, talking of suggestion boxes. Aziraphale knew Heaven was far from perfect or benevolent or merciful or even understanding, long before Crowley.

So no, Aziraphale wasn't led like some puppet on a string, fed a few lies, gotten a few bits of praise and forgotten everything he ever thought or knew. Do you think Aziraphale is so stupid he didn't see Metatron wanted him to come to Heaven without making a fuss? He didn't need to see (what Crowley saw) to understand he was being made to come quietly.

After all, Metatron had experience with flashy exits before. And perhaps Aziraphale understood too, that coming without cuffs and with his memories intact will give him whatever little leverage he can find.

Metatron also knew giving the wayward angel in front of him any spare moment could end up in disaster, because that exact thing happened before.

What was Aziraphale supposed to do if Metatron didn't take a no (a several of them in fact) for an answer? Metatron is the Voice of God, apparently the highest being after God. Was Az to ignore Metatron? Go back to the bookshop and lock the door?

What would have happened? Metatron would throw his arms up and go - oh well, I guess I'll leave them to their Armageddon averting, huge miracle making partnership where they can easily fool and blind both Heaven and Hell combined with barely any effort. No reason I should worry.

But he should worry.

Because Aziraphale fooled Hell easily once

And he can do it with Heaven too

And he will.

[st4r-struckz]

i've been lurking around the rosekiller tag for a long while and i see a lot of people asking for rosekiller-centric fic recs, so if anyone cares here's my hand-picked list of rosekiller fic recs. this includes a lot of the popular ones but also some less-popular and very underrated ones (i think). anyways hopefully i'm doing this right cuz i've never posted on here before soo pls be kind if i make a mistake abt something idk.

this includes both long/multi-chapter fics and one shots btw.

also be warned; this is pretty long even though i tried to keep things short-ish (but i can't help it these are all such good fics i have to talk about them!!!). if you want the rough-ish approximation of this list in the form of a spreadsheet with more details (me ranting about how much i love these fics), click here.

LONG FICS (or basically just more than 1 chapter fics)

why do stars fall down from the sky, every time that you walk by by ricecake_13 (E, 117k, 17/?) this is actually my favorite ongoing rosekiller fic ever oh my god, it's a modern high school au with lots of povs and ships though rosekiller is the main one. beautifully written, gorgeous plot/pacing, amazing characterization, incredibly underrated, please read this it's a masterpiece.

The Blood of Hyacinthus by writingamarie (M, 175k, 14/20) another one of my fav ongoing fics, it's a canon compliant rosekiller fic (ravenclaw barty my beloved!!!) starting from first year all throughout the war. this is probably the best portrayal of canon compliant rosekiller i've seen, they aren't portrayed as poor kids who got roped into the war, they made their own decisions, and i love it so much.

Just Deserts by paletragedycat (M, 700k, 43/?) i'm at around like chapter 10 of this absolute beast of a fic and i am begging you guys to give this fic more attention. it's absolutely incredibly written with a fantastic plot, gorgeous characterization, this fic is absolutely insane like. this deserves to be like the crimson rivers of rosekiller. the plot is lowkey kinda hard to explain but umm. some of them are detectives, some of them are bodyguards, some of them are criminals. super cool. this fic is actually just so so impressive and so incredibly underrated it hurts.

sun tea in the summer by cademygod (NR, 44k, 10/12) this is THE rosekiller coming of age story i swear, modern au that starts when they're kids and each chapter they age 1 year, super cute and fluffy, i am such a sucker for childhood friends to lovers tropes omg.

Evan Rosier and the Unbearable Weight of his Own Decisions by Mywifeisaworm (E, 145k, 35/?) another great portrayal of canon compliant rosekiller, i really love how this one features all the slytherins we typically don't like (snape, mulciber, wilkes, etc.) bc it makes this fic feel even more realistic. this is a super awesome take on canon rosekiller and i love it.

Head Over Feet by sanguinerose (E, 136k, 27/27) i'm sure you guys have heard of this one but it's a modern au, super great, it's everything i've ever wanted from a rosekiller high school au. and evan is french btw god i love french evan rosier so much.

PRETTY BOY by IvyCore (E, 96k, 10/10) this is part of a series, the first part is SUGAR HIGH which is a jegulus fic but honestly this can probably?? be read without reading that one first (even though i still super recommend it). barty is a sex worker and a pianist and evan is a restaurant owner and this is just so so good omg.

intermission by bizarrestars (M, 43k, 4/4) very sure you all have heard of this fic (and for good reason too, it's fantastic) but in case you haven't it's a no voldemort au but still at hogwarts and in the same universe as just lovers (jegulus, also amazing, like the second marauders fic i read i think). this is so sweet and fluffy and cute and this fic is what got me into rosekiller i think soo yeah.

Tug by pressedink (E, 70k, 12/?) rosekiller dating app au where they pair two strangers together in an apartment and they can do whatever except they can't kiss or else they can never seen each other again. except barty and evan are not strangers. i loove this fic, and it's super smutty if that's up your alley. (did i use that phrase right? i feel like i didn't but whatever.)

Beneath the Mask by orphan_account (T, 105k, 44/44) okay this one is a really interesting concept, it's broken up into two timelines: one following them during their hogwarts years and the other following evan while he navigates life after the wizarding war. idk it's a bit hard to explain but. you'll see. so yeah all the war stuff does happen but they both survive afterwards. i really enjoyed this, it was a really interesting take on the whole war situation.

A Truthful Joke by justreadandwritex (T, 30k, 9/9) best friends to lovers au set at hogwarts but idk if voldemort exists (if he does he's not mentioned). just rosekiller being incredibly stupid and cute and oblivious.

Straight A's by stargirly161 (T, 32k, 14/14) academic rivals to lovers rosekiller oh my god i need to see more of them. another pretty popular one and understandably so because it's amazing in every aspect, i've reread this one like 3 times.

Ant Pile by sommerregenjuniluft (E, 21k, 2/2) super super amazing rosekiller coming of age fic and childhood best friends to lovers, god i love this fic. the story starts when they're little kids and it is the most adorable thing ever and ends when they're like 18 and it's just. so good. please read it.

having a ghost in my bed by v7lgar (E, 42k, 3/3) modern au and okayyy wow this is legit just smut all the way through and WOW is it something, this is like some of the best rosekiller smut i've read. if you're just looking for some smut this is the place to look.

I'm Not Gonna Teach Him How to Dance with You by greensenne (M, 122k, 18/18) you've probably heard of this one but i'm still including it, this is set post-hogwarts (so there's still magic i think) but it's a no voldemort au. basically barty's getting married and evan is his best man except Feelings get in the way. very very cute, quite slow burn but it's very worth it.

Tender Curiosities, Baby! by otrtbs (M, 79k, 6/6) ahh another popular one, it's in the same universe as art heist, baby! which you have probably definitely heard of (it's a fantastic jegulus art heist fic). anywayss yeah this fic focuses on rosekiller and it is so so good, idk if it can be read as a standalone though...cause there are a lot of references to ahb!

Rock Bottom by floretissogay (T, 7.9k, 10/10) super super cute and fluffy rosekiller texting fic, there's like zero angst it's literally just fluff and silliness.

Off the Edge of the Earth, and Farther Still by typhoid_fluu (M, 17k, 11/?) this one hasn't been updated in a while buut it's a canon compliant rosekiller au following them throughout hogwarts starting from first year. super cute, at least so far (cuz they're still in first year).

annoying by facestraightoutamagazine (M, 101k, 31/31) another great texting fic, it's a wrong number au and goddd i'm a sucker for those. this one has like minimal angst, it's all just vibes and silliness, it's super cute and funny and i've reread this one like 3 times.

Say Something by writingamarie (E, 43k, 12/12) PLEASE give this fic more attention i am begging. it's incredible in every aspect - the writing, the characterization, the pacing (especially the pacing omg you'll see what i mean when you read this fic), everything. rosekiller friends with benefits will always be my favorite. please guys just please this fic is so underrated it hurts.

bad idea, right? by sparklejumpropequeen79 (NR, 30k, 13/?) this fic got discontinued but i really liked it while i was reading it so i'm still mentioning it in case you don't mind reading fics that won't be finished? idk. no voldemort au where barty and evan are really stupid about their feelings. typical rosekiller stuff.

kiss him you fool. by everlovelymoony (M, 8k, 4/4) this fic is so goddamn cute i actually can't. barty is a kindergarten teacher and luna is in his class and evan is luna's uncle. can we please please have more rosekiller teacher AUs please.

Obsessed by andromeden (E, 40k, 2/2) barty stalks his boyfriend's ex and uhh yeah. this is 40k words of barty and evan being incredibly fucked up and also made for each other. rosekiller at their finest, you know. probably mind the tags though.

Ashes to Ashes by lupinist (M, 13k, 3/3) rosekiller friends to lovers never gets old. very well written, amazing dynamic and characterization, super underrated!

a rose will be for a rose (timelessness for your love) by iWrite (T, 6.8k, 2/2) rosekiller spin the bottle and being dumbasses about their feelings. only a light bit of angst, super cute, love it.

show me those pretty white jaws by 214lilacsky (E, 144k, 15/15) recently started reading this one and i do not know what took me so long because holy shit the writing is beautiful, the characterization is beautiful, just like. this whole fic. beautiful. wow. this is a fairly popular one i think and i absolutely see why.

Pickup or Delivery by lifeisabitch (E, 41k, 15/15) this is so so good, i am absolutely obsessed with their characterization and dynamic here. they are absolute freaks and i am living for it.

i would say i love you (but it's so hard, i won't say it at all) by avesgraveyard (M, 74k, 9/?) road trip au with a bunch of other marauders characters, this is super super cute and evan and barty are incredibly bad at feelings (as they always are) and i just. love this so much. i've reread this one many times before.

with a taste of your lips im on a run by siriusstardust (G, 6.9k, 2/?) wrong number rosekiller au that i am really really enjoying so far, it's super cute and funny and silly.

ONE-SHOTS

no one’s gonna say anything against a dude kissing his homie good luck by sommerregenjuniluft (M, 3k) literally the title, they're skateboarding, uhhh yeah. i really like the vibes of this fic, evan and barty are dumbass teenagers who are toootally just platonic, which is honestly my favorite version of rosekiller.

loving you (is the antidote) by serendipitysirius (M, 13k) amortentia fic, sue me i'm a sucker for those. it is canon compliant but voldemort and the war aren't really mentioned.

don’t want none of this (good times, all the time) by cheeryknots (M, 3.9k) one of my fav rosekiller one shots, i swear i reread this like once every two months lol. it's set at hogwarts and they're at a party and they play spin the bottle and they get Jealous and it's just! so good.

Holding My Heart Out In Shaking Hands by twoclosetothestars (NR, 9k) modern au, i read this one a while ago but i remember really enjoying it. this one has it all; smut, angst, and fluff (in that order).

most fun i ever had (i did something bad) by cheeryknots (E, 5k) this is an incredible work of art holy shit. there's also a second part to this series (the series is appropriately named rosekiller murder husbands) that i also adore so check that one out too. this is legit just smut and rosekiller being absolutely insane and very much in love and i love it so much they are freaks your honor.

ghosting by dracure (E, 5.3k) evan and james are together in this one (not for long after the events in this fic though lmao).

my way or the highway by heartnipnops (E, 6.1k) car sex!!! yay. yeah idk what else to say this is great smut uhh yeah.

Shotgun by DayDreamingQueen (E, 3.1k) more rosekiller car sex (more specifically blowjob). except they aren't even together in this one. how do you literally suck your friend off in a car and just. go on with your life. they are actually so stupid it's astounding. great fic though.

16 missed calls by katakosmos (E, 1.9k) i think i'm actually a little insane for age gap rosekiller idk. been stalking the rosekiller tag on here for long enough to know you all are too. so if you haven't seen this..

the best of you, honey, belongs to me by vianexa (E, 7.7k) rosekiller murder husbands with a whole lot of sexual tension except no actual smut happens (it's crazy), god i do love insane batshit crazy rosekiller.

sharpshooter by heartnipnops (E, 4.7k) A+ rosekiller smut, college/university au.

everybody plays the beautiful game while out in brazil by bloodytreason (T, 3.4k) au where evan is an olympic tennis player. this au is something i did not know i needed, like this is gold (wait that pun was not intended oops wait does that even count as a pun), i need more olympics AUs now.

The Way He Loves by wiggentree (T, 4k) i have reread this one countless times over and over, this is one of the first rosekiller fics i read and i will never stop coming back to it. so so good. i think it captures their dynamic really well and i am just. obsessed.

a rose will i bloom in my soul by iWrite (E, 5.5k) holy hell this is actually so good i might actually combust 100/10 rosekiller smut.

limbs by dracure, virginprayer (E, 2.2k) beautiful beautiful smut

sick, twisted, and selfish by jamespottermixtape (fushigayro) (E, 3k) rosekiller murder husbands my beloved they are insane i love them.

You are in love by rachel_elizabeth_truth (NR, 4.4k) this is so beautiful and lovely, it's based off of you are in love by taylor swift which is such a rosekiller coded song tbh.

aces up your sleeve by dracure (T, 1.6k) evan with a tongue piercing. i, like barty, would probably also go feral for that.

Call It What You Want by lxcuxex (T, 23k) clueless, oblivious, idiots in love rosekiller my beloved. incredibly long oneshot about rosekiller trying to get their shit together. love to see it.

my lost lover (i was made for you) by jamespottermixtape (fushigayro) (E, 9.2k) oh my fucking god this is so great, i don't typically read a lot of vampire/supernatural fics but this one. absolutely wonderful.

Midnight Rain by blackmojito (T, 10k) christmas fic (though it's not the main focus), this is so sweet and cute and just so beautifully written oh my gosh.

second guessing by dracure (E, 8k) gorgeous amazing beautiful fantastic everything about this fic. just wonderful.

such a lovely place to die with you by cheeryknots (E, 4.3k) apocalyptic au where they meet at the end of the world, this is so so beautiful.

Eyeliner by aithusarosekiller (NR, 1.9k) evan helps barty get ready for a party by helping him apply eyeliner. honestly i do not blame evan at all i would have the same reaction seeing barty with eyeliner.

remember that night by orphan_account (G, 5.1k) some hurt/comfort about barty not remembering a drunken kiss. really really good omg.

Pretty Cool by trinavera (G, 4k) very very cute high school au where they meet in detention (evan is the detention monitor).

Me and You by polyjuicedpadfoot (E, 8.8k) oh my goshhh i really really like this one, it deals a bit with the war and them becoming death eaters and stuff. super great.

Something of Mine by stoned_regulus (M, 5.3k) rosekiller post breakup, it deals with Feelings and some drug abuse stuff. it's pretty angsty but really good.

speak now (or forever hold your peace) by rweoutofthewoods (T, 3.7k) this is like equal parts rosekiller and jegulus but anyways. yeah james and evan crash regulus and barty's wedding.

like smoke behind glass by 214lilacsky (E, 4.6k) i am definitely super normal about this fic (no i am not i love this oneshot with my whole being it's one of my favorites).

when the heart would cease (ours never knew peace) by boundinchaos (T, 12.5k) au where evan doesn't actually die, but barty still goes to azkaban. also after reading this fic i desperately need more fics about barty and sirius interacting in azkaban.

AND LASTLY...SOME STUFF ON MY TBR LIST

i haven't gotten around to reading these ones yet but i really want to soo yeah. check these out if you want!

we can take it out back by roadsidehorror (E, 78k, 9/9)

Run, Baby, Run by saltywench (E, 16k, 10/10)

Nothing On You by the_brightest_star_in_leo (T, 1k, 1/1)

i desire violently- and wait by archivistrose (cursedstar) (M, 53k, 16/?)

He's Not Mine (but he could be) by the_brightest_star_in_leo (E, 18k, 6/6)

Silencing the Monster by Written_Willis (E, 7.7k, 1/1)

stoned off you (now i'm stone cold sober) by 214lilacsky (E, 30k, 1/1)

Persistence by stellar_jay (E, 11k, 1/1)

sacrosanct by vanity_scribblings (M, 6.3k, 1/1)

okay yeah this is all, i probably will never post on tumblr again and will go back to lurking after this lmao. if you're still reading this i hope?? you enjoyed?? yeah that's it byee feel free to drop some more recs (in the replies? idk how tumblr works lowkey😭) cause i'm always on the lookout for more of these two🙏

[changetheprophecy81]

One thing the fandom does tht annoys the absolute crap out of me is making Dumbledore out to be this evil villain manipulating kids into fighting in a war and inturn being the cause of all their losses and resultant trauma. He did what he did in the circumstance of a war. And thts still saying something coz hp paints and incredibly black and white picture of war and good vs evil in general

Ofc he's not going to be completely morally right, but given tht the choices r risking losing the war or being morally wrong, u can see the obvious pick.

He didn't manipulate anyone into joining the war, the marauders and lily volunteered(and we hv no evidence of forced conscription in the wizarding world). It's a choice they made right after school and they deserve all the credit for it without reducing it to 'dumbledore raised a child army'. He even offered to be james's secret keeper, but james chose his friends instead, thts not on dumbledore. Seems lyk fandom has a real problem with grasping the concept of characters making their choices without being forced into it, whether good or bad. Even in Harry's era the kids called themselves 'dumbledore's army' and he had nothing to do with it, he even took the fall for their foolishness and saved them from being expelled.

Yes, he manipulated Snape into becoming a double agent early on (he wud hv protected the Potters anyways) but srsly, look at the choices in front of him, what is he supposed to prioritise? a) having a spy in voldemort's circle and gaining information tht cud save countless lives, b) sm death eater crying abt saving only the muggleborn he loves in exchange for her infant son. Also he might hv been manipulated in the very beginning, but adult Snape chose to continue in this role (as shown by the yule ball scene in the Prince's Tale), reducing tht to 'dumbledore manipulated poor, helpless uwu Snape' cheapens his redemption.

Now, with regards to raising Harry lyk a pig for slaughter....what other choice did he have? Smother baby Harry coz he was marked for death? It's definitely his least prettiest move, but what wud u choose btw saving the world and saving one kid? Also he hardly does it out of spite, he really did love Harry, which is y he doesn't tell him about the contents of the prophecy earlier.

Ultimately, he was a very flawed man, but he did what he had to do to win the war and 90% of the cast would be dead without him. He is a complex, flawed, and much more interesting character character without being reduced to evil incarnate, so y bother?

[zinnie-zoloft]

Someone mentioned something about the boys not really knowing about 9/11 and I can’t stop thinking about what other massive events they wouldn’t know about

Charles probably had to be the one to inform Edwin that there was a second world war. Like he might have asked at some point “btw how did the Great War turn out?” since he died right in the middle of it and poor Charles had to break the news to him

The moon landing though! Edwin would be so excited about that, planes had only been a thing for 13 years when he died and now there are people in space? That’s incredible!

Speaking of aviation though he’d probably wonder at some point why zeppelins stopped being used entirely and someone would have to tell him about the Hindenburg disaster

They likely know almost nothing about current pop culture since they still haven’t figured out the internet, can ghosts even use iphones since they can’t touch things the way the living can?

On the flip side of this they both probably mention stuff that was commonly known about in their eras and confuse the fuck out of Crystal, this goes double for things that are specific to the UK

Though sometimes she might actually know what he’s talking about but for all the wrong reasons, like Charles will mention a celebrity and she’ll be like “isn’t that the guy who murdered someone?” and he can’t quite tell if she’s fucking with him or not (because she absolutely lies about pop culture to them because it’s funny)

[hummingbee-o0o]

I am so bloody excited and here's why!!!

This plot is going to be so gorgeous!

Season 2 is all about the reversal, the opposite of what we've seen in season 1, and ofmd is so incredibly character-driven. Even more specifically, the plot is driven the most (almost entirely) by Stede, Ed and Izzy.

The story is so driven by the three of them, they are linked together, for better or for worse, right from the start.

What happens in season 1?

Stede is running away from his life and he stumbles into Ed's. Throughout the season there are hints of his issues with fear, and then the big one happens: he's confronted with his greatest fear, aka ruining everything, and he runs away again. His biggest problem is his fear.

Ed is unhappy with his life, waiting to drown (hellooooo, season 2 metaphors), he's a Peter Pan-level lost boy. He doesn't know who he is. When Stede doesn't meet him on that dock he becomes convinced he's unlovable and becomes completely lost. Why? Because his greatest fear was confirmed.

Izzy's life is disrupted by Stede, he becomes Stede's antagonist. He's angry, he's jealous, he clings to the only life he's known to keep him and Ed safe, aka violence and unkindness. He becomes a catalyst for problems. Why? Because he's scared.

These three characters are all so scared and in such different ways that it creates an absolute maelstorm of a plot, and it's breathtakingly brilliant.

Now, season 2 is all about the reversal: of fortunes, motivations, lives, everything.

Stede is no longer scared and no longer running: he's in love with Ed, he knows he's in love. He becomes unstoppable. Now he'll go on without fear. (He lifts the covering off "dead" Ed's face, unafraid to see what he finds there.) He's going to show Ed how much he loves him, and he's no longer scared of ruining Ed. More than that, he accepts that he's hurt Ed, and that doesn't frighten him away from facing him. (Stede is also ahead of Ed and Izzy on this journey, because Stede is in charge of the narrative, and that's so gorgeous.)

Ed is now finding himself. He tries to find himself in the grotesque Blackbeard persona, but of course he's wrong, poor thing. He's spiralling, more and more lost. First change: Ed chooses life, he stops drowning (Stede as a source of light again, btw, sjldfhsjdf). Ed's journey now is about finding himself, deciding who he wants to be, and also to let go of his own fears. He'll be finding himself and accepting love and being brave enough to express love.

And Izzy! Izzy, in his own reversal, becomes a catalyst for solutions and a unifier, where he was once a divider. He stands up to Ed (and he chooses life too, jfc, he shot that torch out of Ed's hand in the middle of a storm, don't tell me he missed when aiming at his own head, the whole message of ofmd is choosing life!), and he reaches out to Stede, wants to mend things. He'll be teaching Stede how to be a pirate, he'll be helping. He will be letting go of his anger, which also stemmed from fear.

These three scared characters are now actively choosing to not be afraid any more, and they're choosing life. And this is how they'll drive the plot this time.

This is so, so incredible and beautiful, and I absolutely love it.

And it's not upending the order. No, no, that's what the first season was about. This? This is about putting things right.

And I can't wait <3

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[tex-now]

SHIHOSAKI AU LIGHTNING ROUND!!! As you can see, some ideas were more compelling than others....

Added an under the cut so tou don't have to scroll too long ,:3

Shiho is like. A hitchhiker? A traveler? She basically goes around the country to different places and she never stays for long. saki is the cute girl she meets at a diner in the middle of a city she's visiting! She was only planning on staying there for a little while, but for saki, she could always stay longer....

Eventually (I don't know how don't ask) saki decides to join shiho on her journey (and turns into her peaky peaky card) :3

Saki is a budding scientist who works for a morally dubious leaning bad laboratory. One day they bring in a new subject, this big furry monster beast thingy that's clawing at its enclosure in distress and aggression, and saki feels bad for the poor thing, it must be really scared...

The other scientists are huge jerks that end up assigning saki to dealing with it (btw every person that has taken care of it has been injured in some way), but it actually goes quite well! It was just stressed out and anxious and all it needed was a little kindness :3 it's still anxious, but not as aggressive which is great!

Saki keeps taking care of the bast until it finally starts calming down around her, and they become closer. For a bit saki basically treated it like a precious pet, but it didn't seem to appreciate that ...

In fact, Saki starts noticing strange things about the beast, like how it has specific tastes in things animals usually wouldn't worry about, or how it seems like it's actually understanding what saki was saying, how it seems almost... human with its behaviors a lot of the time.

Which leads to a confrontation. One day, Saki asks it if it's really a monster, if it's understood her this entire time, and it suddenly gets incredibly aggressive, growling at her, and looming over her threatening lying, trying to scare her off, possibly? But saki stands her ground and the monster backs off wit a very human sigh.

And then it shifts. It grows smaller and more humanoid until a (not exactly) perfect human is sitting in front of her. It explains herself to be shiho, a werecreature who was kidnapped by saki's laboratory. Saki is. Well. A number of things.

Embarassed that she treated a person with thoughts and emotions like a pet, extreme attraction to said person, shame of said attraction, and most importantly absolute fury that tye lab would do this.

So furious that she almost storms out of the enclosure to give those scientists a piece of her mind, until shiho stops her. It reasons that doing that won't help and will only make the situation worse, but saki is adamant that she at least tries to talk to them about it. Shiho complies, and the next day, Saki "calmly" asks about more information on shiho's specific species. Maybe they didn't know it was a werecreature, maybe this was a misunderstanding and shiho will be released!

It was not a misunderstanding. They knew she was a werecreature. They kidnapped her anyway to do research on her since her specific species has such little known information about her. Saki, well... saki snaps I think

She loves her job but it's exhausting and her coworkers are shitheads who underestimate her at every turn, she witnesses the less than caring treatment of the other creatures that reside here, and now she's finding put that they willingly kidnapped a sentient being for the sake of research? Get that shit outta here

Okay this is long enough so lets wrap this up. she basically consensually kidnaps shiho and skips town to save her, leaving behind her job.her apartment and anything age couldn't fit in her booking for when they left. She also ends up taking a few extra friends along for the ride wink wink (honami). At one point they kiss. As you can see the romance was not the most important part mb...

Introverted mermaid meets adventurous girl with a penchant for the unusual. Their first meeting was definitely an accident, shiho got caught by saki while she was sunbathing or just wanted to come up to the surface for a bit. Shiho was startled by saki's sudden greeting and went back into the water immediately (ad probably didn't come back out for a few days). But saki is anything but a quitter, so she keeps coming back and looking for shiho when she has the chance, while shiho keeps trying to avoid her.

But like. At one point she just ends up doing it to do it. Saki's not malicious in anyway. She just comes over there and talks to the water for a little before going back home. She's never brought anyone over to try and see her, she's never tried to take photos or evidence, hell at this point shiho is intrigues by the girl and wants to speak to her properly, so shiho truky has no reason to continue this thing they have going on.

But shiho is very stubborn, so she decides that she won't just come out and show herself that easily, but when saki finally catches her, she'll emerge and actually meet her formally. In the meantime, she offers saki a pretty shell bracelet, as a sign of amicability or something.

Eventually it turns into a little game between them. Saki tries to catch shiho and yet everytime, she just misses her. Sometimes shiho is feeling mischievous and let's her have a glimpse before diving into the water again. Saki probably thinks it's a lot of fun, if not a little frustrating because she wants to talk to her so badly.

And then one day it happens. Saki is late to her usual visit and shiho is sitting there sullenly waiting for her, embarassed of her dissapointment by saki's absence, why is she even waiting here anyway-?

Saki gently grabs her shoulders from behind. Shiho shrieks and almost dives back into the water out of pure panic, but saki's hand stop her, and she stays. They have their first formal meeting... what will happen next you say? Well that's for you to (maybe) find out ;3

Cam I say it can I say it. Goth girl x pastel sporty girl... omg.... poprocks shihosaki... (only one person will understand what I mean by that lmao).

Anyway saki and shiho are very much Girlfriends <3 shiho comes up to saki's desk with a basketball in one hand and a black rose in the other shyly asking her if she wants to go to the movies and saki then proceeds to tackle her to the ground and smother her with kisses. (Saki is still very much saki here yk)

Theyre so yuriful I want to draw them...

Composer wives <3 saki is a stay at home video game Composer (like 8 bit chiptune all that shit) while shiho is a Composer for a classical choir. They collaborate a lot on songs saki forces (bribes) shiho into collabing with her on, and composing is actually probably how they first met. Hmm...

Saki LOOOVES her amazing classical Composer wife and regularly shouts her out on her channel (shiho is incredibly flustered by this) but shiho will also never fail to (vaguely) mention her wife who helped her create the music.... saki is very hapoy by this :3

Saki also begs shiho to make samples for her all the time which shiho grumbles about but does anyway because she's a dy-

Anyway I love them they're so cute

That's all folks

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Do you think having to model would have been damaging to Adrien when his mother was still with him?

Potentially controversial take here, but no, I don't think child acting is a terrible thing that should be illegal and child models are just a variant of child actors. Acting in commercials or movies is arguably more serious than something like community theater or local ads, but the risks aren't actually all that different. No matter the level of the production, the risk for abuse is there. It's not something limited to Hollywood. So I have no issue with child stars as a general concept. I think I've only ever hinted at this in my stuff, but I can actually picture a scenario in which Adrien got into modeling as an act of love.

His mother was a professional actress and Adrien very clearly enjoys acting. I could absolutely see Emilie recognizing his talents and getting him involved in commercials and modeling shoots for the company so that he can try acting in an environment that she can fully control (which is not concerning given that Adrien has clearly been modeling for several years, so he started young.)

I think most "good" parents would be super hesitant to let a little kid work with people they don't know, but with Emilie's connections and the success of Gabriel's company? Adrien going into an acting career actually makes a lot of sense. Especially if Emilie acted as his agent and was always on set to make sure he was okay.

Adrien being a model only becomes concerning when we get things like the super creepy Alliance AI-Adrien. Stuff that Adrien clearly isn't okay with and that should never have been considered to begin with (you literally see the model in his underwear when Soquline is showing off the fact that you can dress him up in Jubilation.) If Adrien was actually enjoying the work and the work was all ethical? Then it wouldn't be a problem.

Creative fields are rife with abuse and poor working conditions, but they're also a source of joy for many. Minors working in these types of fields is an incredibly complex topic, but I can't view it as inherently bad. I've known too many kids who legitimately loved acting or playing sports or whatever creative thing they were into.

Oh, and random side note, but it's super weird how the show plays Adrien's fame. He's fashion model, not a movie star. He would not be as famous as the show tries to make him. I actually researched this a while back to make sure France didn't have some sort of model-obsession and I couldn't find anything (btw, please let me know if I missed something and this is wrong).

I mention all of this because I think fashion modeling is potentially a much safer way to let a kid do some acting. Commercials and one-off fashion shoots are much smaller commitments than movies and TV shows and they carry way less risk of super star fame. I actually get distracted when fanfics have Gabriel constantly pulling Adrien out of school for fashion shoots for two reasons: first, that appears to be highly illegal in France. Second, how much marketing material is the Gabriel brand supposedly producing??? Especially since Adrien seems to just be a teen model and not model for the adult line, which would be standard for the industry. You don't really become a full fledged model doing things like runways until you're at least 16. (Btw, guess what age I often scale Adrien up to? There's a reason for that.)

As far as I can tell, most models have to work with multiple brands and companies to make good money. An exclusive deal with a single company should mean that your schedule is pretty relaxed, which is another reason I could buy a loving parent letting Adrien model. Modeling, commercials, and voice acting are actually a fantastic set of options for someone who wanted to do some acting work while still going to school. It is incredibly easy to take the setup the show gave us and use it to make Adrien a child star who wasn't exploited.

[gojoest]

Hey Ai, I just watched this movie earlier called Fear (idk if you already watched it but incase u haven’t I’ll just explain the storyline) and it’s basically about a guy named David (Mark Wahlberg) who becomes so obsessed with Nicole (Reese Witherspoon). I mean he’s literally obsessed with her he wants her to himself all the time, following her around, stalking her, and gets annoyed when she’s not with him and gets angry and jealous when she’s around her male friends. He also has a shrine made just for her with all her pictures and stuff, and tattooed her name across his torso. He also uses his charm and manipulation tactics to take her and resorted into violence when she doesn’t want to go with him and leaver her family behind like he literally tried to kill her family members just to forcefully take her.

I was wondering like I know Satoru wouldn’t do these kinds of extremes like u know trying to kill your family members, etc. But I want to know how similar could Satoru and David be in terms of obsession? Like I know Satoru can be pretty obsessed and intense with you minus the dark aspects like violence and murders.

so i watched the movie last night bc the second i saw your ask my mind immediately went ! yandere satoru ! but david and satoru are vastly different when it comes to their obsession, i think.

satoru would too be intense and quite mental with his obsession but in his own crafty way. he’d absolutely never be violent with you!!! insanity can manifest in various ways. but like he is very calculating and smart about it. he would never openly do things that would upset you and push you away — everything he does, he does so to pull you closer and keep you with him. he’d get rid of disturbances furtively. secretly, carefully, while he’s being your sweet and caring boyfriend. he wouldn’t show his true colors and intentions, because you wouldn’t love him if he did.

incredibly possessive. i think he’d get really worked up when faced with signs of you holding a special place in someone else’s life — it could be a friend, it could be a parent. like you belonging to someone in a different way than you belong to him. which leads to this one scene from the movie that i associated with something that yandere satoru would do — david stealing nicole’s baby bracelet and carving his name on it so it reads “david’s girl” instead of “daddy’s girl”. oh boy… i think it’s something satoru would do too ;-; just to feel good about it himself, like he’s won. see? you’re his.

tbh right now the yandere i associate a lot with satoru is the ML from the manhwa ‘tears on a withered flower’, i think yantoru would be a lot like him.

the ML there goes to the flower shop where FL works at and buys roses every day. every day, for months — his house is basically filled with them at this point, like there are roses and petals scattered all around the floors… he’s been watching her for so long, waiting for her to notice him. by this point he knows a lot about her. she’s having a really hard time, going through major changes, life has basically beaten her down — she got cheated on by her (ex) husband she’s been with since high school and is in a lot of debt because of him which is why she works multiple jobs to make ends meet and pay off the debt… so he comes into her life in a very tough and vulnerable time and knows exactly how to make use of it. they get close eventually... he pretends to be poor too, yk to be more relatable, while in reality he is rich af. swaps his brand new super expensive shoes with one of his friend’s worn out ones to make it look more believable that he’s a lower class (he’s also younger than her btw, 10 year age gap) also beats up men that hit on her, secretly in the alleyways, without her knowing about it. she suspects nothing NOTHING i really love the story — there’s so much depth to it — and highly recommend it to everyone! it’s still ongoing and we’re starting to see more about ML’s backstory and how he also went through very traumatic experiences. i wait for every chapter religiously!!!! if you ever read it please lmk if you see the vision! i think yandere satoru would be a lot like ML

[karlachismylife]

I don't know why but I just felt the need to share my African painted dog plush with you. It just feels right

Also I love your writing so so so so so so so so so much

It's the hyena procrastination breeze speaking to you. You are absolutely right, I needed to see this ABSOLUTE CUTIE OF A PLUSIE BABY for the quality of my life to spike. I'm not afraid to admit that I'm actually jealous you have such a treasure (i love plushies so much, especially when they're of some rare-to-see-in-toys species/kind).

Oh the fluffy ears and the spots!! I'm melting. Please, cuddle this baby for me (what's its name btw??). I see my unicorns sideeyeing me rn cuz I'm squealing at my screen.

Yeah so you know what. What if hyena 141 boys getting one of these for you in case you miss them while they're away. And then getting incredibly jealous when they come home and you're cuddling this thing. Sure, Soap would get whiny and pouty immediately, him and Gaz running to squeeze into your embrace instead of the little thing; and Ghost would look so grumpy, making a scene out of laying down on the floor and refusing to jump onto the bed into the cuddle pile.

But it's Price who grabs it and absolutely banishes from the bedwoom, throwing in the living room's corner. And that poor guy should be grateful he didn't get chewed into pieces, honestly.

ahh i love getting messages from you, sweetheart, you just staple a smile onto my face no matter how upset or tired i am. you're a treasure yourself <333

[asher-agere]

-ahh following with the nikolai one do you by any chance do angst? id like to see angsty little nikolai hcs

YIPPEE YIPPEE I LOVE NIKOKAI AND I LOVE ANGST. This is the best request I’ve ever gotten btw. Just so you know. Content warnings for mentions of self harm, manga spoilers, suicidal actions? But not literal attempts. Read at your own discretion, stay safe! It’s perfectly ok to not be feeling up to reading certain content <3

Little Nikolai

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺

🃁 Nikolai likes to be himself, and he has an incredibly strong personality, he ends up driving people away a lot... He always pretends it doesn’t bother him though! And he’s a jester, it’s like literally his role to act happy. He’s insanely good at it. He’s been through a lot of caregivers in the past I think, none of them have been able to stick around for long. And when he decides he’s committing to someone he goes all in! So every time that someone says he’s too much in any way shape or form it hurts him so much more, every single person that leaves him, he feels the loss with his whole heart

🃁 There aren’t very many things that upset Nikolai, usually he’s just a happy and bubbly little! However he absolutely despises any kind of rules, especially ones that restrict him from doing things. It’s alright if the rule is set up just as a guideline, but if his caregiver has any plans to actually enforce the rule he hates it. Anytime it’s brought up he’ll be howling and screaming on the ground, and he’s got enough of his adult headspace that’s he’s alright with violence, so he’ll literally pull a weapon out of his cape and start attacking at times

🃁 After Fyodor got in the helicopter accident Nikolai went into a depressive state, his headspace was fragile and shifting by the second, along with his mood. One second he’ll be 4 and sobbing about how badly he misses his friend, the next he’ll be 13 and laughing maniacally because this is what he wanted right? He wanted Fyodor dead. Now he got what he wanted. Shouldn’t he be happy? He pushes anyone and everyone away. Everyone just tells him it’s ok to be sad and they’re wrong because he’s not sad, he’s happy! Obviously. The tears streaming down his face tell a different story though

🃁 Nikolai is finding out that his way to get freedom doesn’t actually work. Fyodor died and he didn’t feel any more freed. If he eventually meets back up with Fyodor and learns the man’s ability I think he’d continue his mission with renewed vigor, he doesn’t care if he dies in the process at this point, what’s the purpose of a life you can never truly be freed from? So he just keeps trying, driven by his goal even though he knows it now as illogical. A lot of the time this bleeds into when he’s regressed as well, it would grow into an obsession, a filthy unhealthy obsession like mold rotting away at his mind

🃁 I think the few times that Nikolai is nonverbal when regressed is like his worst nightmare. He always wants to be understood, and if he can’t even talk how is anyone supposed to understand him? All he can do is cry, genuine real tears of frustration and self hatred for not just being better at things. But so much of his tears are fake when regressed, it isn’t unusual for a caregiver to assume these are fake as well. And that only makes everything so much worse because the misunderstanding is like a slap to the face, he can’t ignore it when the only thing he’s trying to do is communicate with all his heart and he’s still misunderstood

🃁 Nikolai is aware of his poor communication, he’s aware of how he’s his own greatest obstacle on the quest of being understood. He knows this. And he hates himself for it. Oh he absolutely despises himself. He tries to change himself on times it’s really getting him down but even then he can’t do it right. Especially on times when he’s regressed and communicating is even harder. He’ll fill any and all silences with random exclamations of how he’s feeling, but he tends to struggle with explaining why he’s feeling that, so it ends in his caregiver just assuming it’s more random nonsense

🃁 I think he’d lose things a lot. Normally he relies on his cape! He can just reach in and pull things out! But normally when he’s regressed that gets confiscated. Which means if he loses something… It’s gone. He puts all his comfort items in a safe spot, but where is it? When he’s regressed it all feels so overwhelming and he doesn’t have anything there to help him calm down. He wants to hug a plushy or wrap himself in a blanket or to suck on his pacifier. But he can’t because he lost it. This very very quickly leads to self hatred which expresses itself in tantrums

🃁 With the amount of self hatred this little guy feels there’s no way he doesn’t want to hurt himself. I can see him doing more well known examples like cutting or burning, but it feels like a stretch. I think primarily the way it shows itself with him is through him hitting his head or slamming his head into walls or such. For one it’s an incredibly childlike form of self harm, but also his problem is his own mind. So naturally when he wants to hurt himself he wants to hurt his mind, if he could beat that part of himself into submission everything would be so much easier…

🃜🃚🃖🃁🂭🂺

I kinda incorporated Fyodor in this since anon said it was to go along with the last one. But also partially because Nikolai’s like entire character is centered around Fyodor-

[DNI ID: A white box with a black border. Nikolai to the right and ace cards in the top left corner. Black text reads “DNI if your blog isn’t child safe. I will block NSFW accounts” End ID]

[thefirstknife]

Ishtar updated so some stuff is on there finally. Didn't want to spam with too many huge posts with just walls of text.

Absolutely losing it about Chivalric Fire seasonal sword. We finally have a canon reason for ornaments from each vendor. It's becuse they argue what the weapon should look like.

"It should be elegant," says Zavala, striking his breastplate with a fist.

Shaxx isn't having it:

Shaxx's firm gesture of denial drives the side of his hand into a shelf. An Omolon-branded canister falls off and rolls across the floor. "It must be an unstoppable force in sword form! It should spit fire! Also, it should be red."

And then Drifter:

"No, no," the Drifter says from the doorway. He kicks the rolling canister away without looking down. "I'm a law-abiding citizen. I pay my taxes. You can trust me. It needs to look mean. You want people thinking: 'They're madder, badder, and hungrier than me. I'm not tangling with them.'"

I'm losing it over him emphasising that he's a law-abiding citizen. It makes him least likely to be a law-abiding citizen. Then poor Banshee is like can you guys settle on a single design and they continue arguing. Absolutely incredible.

A lot of people already posted about the exotic sparrow Nostos. It's about Eramis reminiscing about her wife Athrys and their children and thinking where she might be now. And then she just basically more or less decides to go to them:

It was the same map that Eramis's mate, Athrys, had followed out of Sol. It even included the habitable zones she'd tabbed as potential landing sites. By now, Athrys might be Kell of her own settlement, living happily alongside their grown hatchlings. Or they might all be long-dead. In truth, Eramis hadn't wondered at either possibility for decades. But ever since she saw the Witness disappear into its portal, Eramis could think of little else. All her prior aspirations were made suddenly small. Eliksni solidarity, revenge against the Traveler, enmity with the Humans… they were all irrelevant. If a second Whirlwind was her fate, Eramis would suffer it as she had the first: with Athrys by her side.

Btw, "nostos" is a theme in Ancient Greek stories, about a hero heroically returning home.

Gloaming Journeyer has also been posted by pretty much everyone. It's about Drifter and Eris sharing an incredibly tender moment and finding peace with each other. Just read it.

Wyrmguard seasonal arm piece has a devastating update on Shaw Han's lore in which it is revealed that the Ahamkara exotic he wears is what he made a wish to. He wanted to have his own fireteam. At the end, he gets a call from "Caster-3" aka Cas, one of the members of his fireteam (alongside Maeve) that ended up dying to Navota. The backfire of a wish. Man.

And one more funny for the end, for Dragon's Breath. A return of Marcus Ren and Enoch Bast! They're doing fine and they're being dumbasses together with their friend, Ariadne Gris. Ariadne might be familiar to people who remember obscure lore from the vanilla sparrow lore Dinas Emrys in which Ariadne was called to the Vanguard to explain why she has a dragon symbol painted on her sparrow. She was being suspected of having an Ahamkara. Ikora found this whole thing ridiculous and Ariadne defended herself by saying a dragon painted on a sparrow was "cool."

And she's back at it again in Dragon's Breath, offended that it's called Dragon's Breath but not having a dragon painted on it. Enoch and Marcus then get a deal with her: she'll race her sparrow against the speed of the rocket. What happens next will shock you. Also, important:

Enoch says. At his side, Marcus studies the case.

Not beating the allegations that they're partners.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ranking all the taskmaster series cos why not lol

no one asked for this but im doing it so......

this is from least to most favourite btw! also i will say there are no series that i dislike at ALL so my least favourite is still a banger of a series it's just... the one i think about the least lol??

also featuring my fav contestant from each series & my fav moment to make this more interesting idkkk

series 3 - rob beckett - rob's accent challenge as part of one of the tasks never fails to make me cry w/ laughter lol

series 6 - liza tarbuck - the 'have fun & then repeat' task where russell does keepy uppys whilst talking about a little old lady 'rubbing herself silly' lol also always enjoy tim's pun outfit cos i nearly always forget what it was so the reveal is always delightful lol!

series 8 - joe thomas - team of 3 doing the bathtub(?) task, can't actually remember but the sibling energy between lou and iain was hysterical (& poor paul just trying to keep everything together lol)

series 14 - fern brady - not actually a funny moment, but i really love the bit in the classical music task where sarah talks about her ex who was horrible about her singing and greg says 'fuck you' to him <3 such a sweet moment that made me legit emotional

series 10 - katherine parkinson - daisy being SO furious as she says it's a HIPPO!!!! also katherine pouring water into a net lol

series 17 - nick mohammed - steve getting jumpscared by the 'mannequin' lol also one of my fav details was nick's reflection being edited out cos he was dressed as dracula lol!! the editors of the show deserve all the love and accolades tbh

series 2 - jon richardson - i feel like i should go with another moment but... it has to be joe's TRAGIC potato throw loss!!!!!

series 18 - rosie jones - every team task w/ rosie and jack lol also i'll be honest, i've only seen this series once so i can't remember a lot of details

series 15 - ivo graham - everyone doing an impression of jenny in a live task lol also every time kiell got mad (this is a common theme on this list i'm realising... i really like when people get annoyed apparently)

series 1 - tim key - watermelon task obviously!! also the flirting w/ fred the swede task

series 4 - mel giedroyc - the reveal of hugh's drawing of the woman (i can't remember her name) cracks me up so much lol also mel & the baby gap!!

series 11 - charlotte ritchie - the absolute chaos of the team of 3 doing the blindfold task, especially charlotte just running around in circles giggling and jamali standing around utterly bemused until the very end lol... also lee, dribbling poppadoms, yelling 'i've got a bafta me!'

series 5 - nish kumar - ~~ always seeing you do cool stuff ~~ also SO many quotable bob moments but we'd need to be here for a week for me to go through all that lol

series 12 - guz khan - wHO THE FUCK IS VERONICA?! (that whole riddle task, the stark difference between the two teams, literally everything guz says it's just incredible) also special mention to the wow monster (which is probably my ult fav live task lol)

series 9 - ed gamble - david doing the spoon task lol... also every single time ed got angry (which was constantly lol)

series 16 - lucy beaumont - the team of 3 hotel task 'lovely legs sir!!' i don't know if i've ever laughed as much at something maybe ever???

series 7 - james acaster - i mean... how do i pick just one? gonna go with a LIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! because it was the first thing i ever heard about from the show (thanks to my sister quoting it)... honestly though i wanna list like 200 moments here

series 13 - ardal o'hanlon (the real answer is all of them tho lol) - ardal coming out with three chickens in the duck task and saying 'this is the best i can do'... also every single time alex got annoyed at bridget loool

[eddiestightywhities]

okay this is very long and mostly just for me to get some stuff of my chest and out of my head therefore anybody tagged pls don't feel as though you have to read it all (like obvs you know you don't have to but you also hopefully know what i mean lol):

so i've had some quite heavy stuff going on in meatspace recently, and then i went to see i saw the tv glow two nights ago which was beyond brilliant but fucked me up entirely on a personal level. then, just to be a bit (read: incredibly) stupid, i for some reason (read: bc i'm a masochist) decided to delve into reading waaaay too many of my first 'eddie losing his shit over christopher leaving/summer of sexuality queer crisis' fics, which i've not dared let myself do before now bc it's all very close to the bone for me i.e. my own queer (trans) crises—yes, plural, they keep coming—and stuff that's not a million miles away from the shit going on with my eldest son (bar kim lol). why tf my brain chose the worse time possible is just another one of life's mysteries (read: i'm just insane [see above]).

(btw my struggling hugely with issues of repression plus my son hating/not hating me aside, THIS FIC is the insanely brilliant piece of art that kicked off the binge. it's from the astonishingly talented @wildehacked and is one of two parts which are possibly the best buddie fics—or even just some of the best fics, period—that i've ever read. seriously, check the tags and if you're a buddie lover and it/they seem like your sort of thing you should 100% go save/read it/them!)

anyways, after all that i'm now just kind of spiralling a bit tbh aha. i'm not fine, not rn, but i will be fine at some point soon sort of thing. like, i'm okay and nobody needs to worry etc i'm just trying to do one if the countless things that i'm absolutely bloody terrible at which is reaching out. but not because i need anything from anybody it's more just for me to be able to say “i'm going through some stuff right now and i might or might not disappear for a while” because i don't usually manage anything at all like that when i'm in the trenches and instead just retreat into my shell and go radio silent—and the thing is, i know some very lovely people who have shown concern when i've done that in the past and i'm therefore trying to be better. friends old and new alike such as @shealynn88 @sharkfish @greyhavenisback @raisesomehale @doilooklikepeople @woodchoc-magnum @buddiebeginz i'll absolutely be getting back/chatting to you when i'm able to interact with a bit more—well, when i'm a bit more, i 'spose xp

also tagging lovelies @novemberhush for the usually well-loved procrastination tag game stuff and @inell and @kitteneddiediaz (and possibly @veronae-buddie and @daffi-990?) for the WIP games i've been kindly tagged in but not responded to. thank you and sorry! like, i know it's absolutely fine and nobody really cares about stuff like that, but i'm just very much feeling like i need to say these things right now. and more apologies if there have been tags i've missed from other lovely folks; not being round these parts for 48+hrs = horrendous notifs situation (you know how it is).

on the writing front, i don't know if it's both completely dumb and ridiculous to start this by saying, “hmm, i'm unsure if it's related or not?” but as well as everything else i'm simultaneously having one one those Everything I Have Ever Written Am Writing Or Could Write Is Utter Fucking Dogshit sort of moments (like, i know i'm not a great writer—which is not derogatory and just fact and 100% absolutely fine—but i'm usually at peace with the strange little oneshots i puke out, y'know?) which is yet another reason for me to disappear off here for the time being as i sadly have one of those unhealthy irrational relationships with fandom that's like I Don't Deserve To Be Here If I'm Not Being Useful—which i know is dumb af and i would absolutely try to coax anyone else out of if it were them saying it and not me, but alas poor yorick. thing is, i used to be incredibly prolific in making fanart, for loads of different fandoms, and that too has dwindled considerably over the last year or more (god, is it that long?) therefore it's just a double whammy currently with the writing now also taking a hit. and i know, i know, whomp whomp poor me etc etc i just—i fear whenever i disappear, i won't ever be able to make it back... bleugh horrid lol

obviously i can't seem to be normal about anything ever so i'm sorry if this is a weird way to respond to nothing happening that nobody asked about (there is no 'if'; it absolutely is weird but i'm afraid it is what it is) and i truly don't need anything from anybody, i just think me posting this and saying how i'm feeling will probably be doing me a bit of good. honestly, pls feel free to ignore, this is just cathartic for me. but i guess, at the same time, as well as those things, me being on the spectrum means i'm not skilled at keeping friendships going, which makes me very sad, so this is maybe me voicing those fears in an attempt to combat them becoming a reality? i think? it's just that i've already drifted away from too many lovely people here due to the affects of these things and i'm therefore just—i think i'm just really trying in my own odd little way.

anyways i'm gonna go rewatch some sense8 and sob out my own weight in tears and snot and just keep on keeping on with existential crisis #4793 for the time being until something shifts in me and then i'll be back at some point? yeah, i think that sounds about right.

love you guys big much (one of my son's isms from when he was little) <3

ps just realised i wrote this on my buddie blog and really can't be arsed copying and pasting it over to my main @all-or-nothing-baby... so anybody who was wondering, yeah it's me yer boi cassidy xp also if you read this far you're insane and i love you even more for it <3

[all-pacas]

Ok but per your recent post - I have always been fascinated at how Cameron doesn’t see Chase as a broken bird when his dad and crappy relationship was the focus of a whole episode/case. I always think back to the conversation Cameron has with Chase in “Cursed” where she’s poking at him to try to figure out what the deal is with their strained relationship. I never really know what to make of it other than for some Cameron had already decided it isn’t the kind of “broken” she’s into I guess? Idk - I’d love to hear your view of both that scene and how Cameron classes who is and isn’t broken.

YEAh, it's fascinating, because while Chase doesn't get as much focus as Cameron or Foreman, the focus he gets is… religious trauma! Daddy issues! He killed a lady! Foreman gets focus episodes to show how capable he is, Cameron gets focus to show how kind he is, Chase gets focus to watch his life go wrong around him, lmao.

There's a little exchange in The Itch where House is analyzing Cameron, and accuses her of fixating on the poor miserable patient because Chase "isn't all that broken" and she can't get her fix from him. Which is mean, and it's not entirely fair, but… it's kind of true, right? Cameron really does thrive when she can have that. She seeks out that level of emotional control: with her husband, with House, with others… and not Chase.

What I find fascinating is that instead, Chase is usually shown as the supportive one. He's given the ability to pretty consistently read and see through Cameron's bullshit, and for all the spineless jokes he calls her out with regularity: in Act Your Age he calls her out on having feelings for him, and in the rest of S3 he keeps that up; in The Itch he is more upset but makes it clear he understands the root of her distance — her Husband Trauma — and that he is being patient with her. He does similar things with the sperm at the end of S5, and is incredibly patient with her in Saviors, before finally losing his patience and dumping her: their relationship is always portrayed as Cameron being the one with issues, the "broken" one, and Chase as the one who is patient and, if not able to fix her, able to give her space and support while she works to step up.

This also makes the reversal — or lack of reversal — in S6 insane, because suddenly Chase is blatantly depressed and quote-unquote broken, and Cameron………… backs off. The first time in their entire relationship Chase is shown to need support, and she is completely incapable of offering it.

To be fair to her, this is, I think, actually character growth and a good strategy in general for Chase, who hates prying and shuts down when pushed too hard. And Cameron does very clearly tell him she's worried and is here for him when he's ready to talk about it, and I think that on most days, that's probably the right approach for Chase (who gets very snippy and dismissive when pushed). It's just… this is beyond Chase being grumpy. This is actually a time where Cameron's pushiness could help. But ironically, even though she's a fixer, their entire dynamic is just so firmly the other way around, Chase as the "strong" one/supportive one, they just… don't know how to reverse it. And it's absolutely on Chase too, btw. He chooses to freeze Cameron out and avoid her for weeks rather than tell her anything about his breakdown. He's the one who supports her, not the other way around.

And it's also true that for all his many, many, many issues, Chase… does not come off as Obviously Fucked Up the way that even House does. House of course has a literal handicap in his, well, handicap: he is visibly not well, but he also flaunts his drug use and externalizes most of his feelings. Chase… represses. He's generally fairly cheerful, he shuts down anything personal, he's far from stoic and he's pretty fucking obvious when he's in a bad mood, but he doesn't wallow. He sleeps around and drinks a little too much and jokes around. He doesn't act broken. House in his own way is very and blatantly needy (usually aimed at Wilson). Chase makes a point of not needing anyone, ever… and so when he does, he doesn't know how to ask, and Cameron can't recognize it.

(The two also have the worst pair of trauma responses, which doesn't help at all: Cameron runs and avoids, and Chase has 18 different abandonment issues; Chase meanwhile shuts down and freezes people out, and Cameron needs control and therefore has nothing to latch on to to fix.)