#poor love must need go wee by now

[weshallc]

When is the Wedding?

Old Skool Turnadette.

Second of (which is now) three parts.

Thank you @fourteen-teacups and everyone who commented, reblogged or liked part one.

One O’clock

Shelagh returned to All Saints’ Church for the second time that day. Dr Turner had gone on his rounds and she had prepared lunch for Timothy and his grandmother. Marianne's mother had volunteered to keep the boy company while she and Patrick made their arrangements.

Granny Parker appeared to be as excited as her grandson about the forthcoming wedding. This had taken Shelagh by surprise at first, aware that her daughter had only passed away two years ago. But, the more she watched grandson and grandmother together, the more Shelagh began to realise that Timothy’s happiness was the older lady's main concern.

Mrs Parker had confided in her over Christmas that Shelagh believed to be a God send. She hadn't been convinced Patrick was coping as a single parent . Not wanting to come across as an interfering busty body, she had been summing up the courage to suggest to her son-in-law that Timothy go and live with her in Bexly Heath for a couple of years. Shelagh had been really shocked at this revelation and although she appreciated Mrs Parker’s concern and her willingness to help, she knew this would have hurt Patrick's feelings.

Shelagh had rarely seen him lose his temper, maybe occasionally with a negligent professional or an over officious board member. Only once on a personal level when the nursing staff refused Shelagh access to sit with Timothy because she was a day away from being his mother.

Mrs Parker was a warm and jovial woman, but she could see that Timothy didn’t just inherit his straightforwardness from his father's side. If Granny Parker misjudged her approach when raising her concerns and its solution, it could have damaged their relationship irrevocably.

These thoughts occupied Shelagh’s mind as she made her way through the transept and headed for the back of the church, retracing Patrick’s and her steps from earlier that day. She knocked on the large mahogany door of Reverend Raymond’s office.

The responding “Enter” brought a smile to Shelagh’s lips. How often had she heard that word from those lips over the last ten years? Although from behind a different door. She pushed the heavy barrier open.

“Shelagh, it’s so lovely to see you.” Sister Julienne was so impressed with herself for not throwing herself upon the young woman standing before her she released a rush of air which she disguised with a cough.

“Reverend Raymond said you’d be here this afternoon. I hope you will forgive my impromptu visit?” Shelagh rushed her greeting, alarmed that she hadn’t thought to telephone ahead.

The older woman was now by her side and had taken hold of her hand to reassure her friend.

“Reverend Raymond has been so generous in allowing me the use of his office, on an occasional basis, to complete Nonnatus paperwork and to store a lot of our documents in the crypt.”

Sister Julienne never changed, Shelagh thought, always thankful, always seeing God’s will in every hurdle that crossed her path.

“I also have full permission to make use of the kitchen. Would you like a cup of tea?” Shelagh’s protests of being a nuisance were soon silenced as her host explained she had been just about to allow herself a much desired break.

As a nun who had once wondered if she herself might one day be called on to run a convent, she admired the deftness of her mentor’s social skills and ability to put everyone around her at ease.

In the end, the church housekeeper had ushered the two women back into the office, perhaps not with the same social skills as Sister Julienne. She entered the office ten minutes later carrying a tray set with a fine bone china Royal Worcester Torquay tea set. A tea plate was full of raspberry jam tarts, which she informed her guests were the reverend’s favourites, but he could spare a couple.

As Sister Julienne played mother, sadness enveloped Shelagh; her own dramas had detached her slightly from the struggles her former colleagues were facing, as a result of being forced to abandon Nonnatus.

“I’m sorry to take up your time, Sister. I know this must be a difficult time for you, as us all, so many memories to be just ground into dust.”

“I can’t deny it has been a challenging time, but a building will be ground to dust. But, my memories and faith will remain very much intact. The order and our spirit are still very much alive.”

“Of course, Sister.” Shelagh took a sip of tea, wondering if it was the exact same teacup she had drank from that morning.

“But we mustn't dwell on the past. What of the future? May I enquire how did your first visit of the day to this office conclude?”

“Thank you for asking, Sister. Dr Turner and I are to be married the second week in February.”

“Splendid, the Lord dwells not in the old and decaying, but in the new and flourishing. One of many fresh starts I hope this year.”

As Shelagh helped herself to a tart, she wondered if they had been baked between visits or if the vicar actually didn’t like to share,

“So, when is the wedding?”

Forty minutes to two.

Talking to Sister Julienne always calmed her fears. Her steps were lighter, leaving the church and heading back to Timothy. She had been foolish to cut herself off from her friends, her family if she was truthful. She had been so thrilled to be forming a new family with Patrick and Timothy she had underestimated that change, even positive change, takes time and effort. She had found herself no longer a sister, yet not quite a Turner.

As traumatising Timothy’s illness and the consequences had been the blessing behind it had been the postponing of the wedding. It had given her and Patrick time to get to know each other a little better against the backdrop of tragedy rather than caught up in the nervous energy of a new romance.

It had also broadened her notions of what being a mother involved. In the sanatorium she had daydreamed of tucking the boy up in bed and helping him read. She’d wanted to draw with him and play the piano. She imagined sitting in the front row beside Patrick and applauding him in his school play.

That moment she was stranded behind the ward door looking helplessly on with the Matron’s words echoing around her head “You are not his mother” she’d known there and then that she wasn’t Timothy’s mother. The realisation had hit her that repeating her vows before God and wearing Patrick’s ring wouldn't miraculously make her fit for the role. It would be a title she would need to earn. She had a lot to learn.

A squeeze of her arm jolted Shelagh back to reality.

“Hello, you”

“Oh hello Trixie, how are you?” The young midwife was gingerly maintaining her balance on her bicycle, one foot planted on the pavement.

“Very cross with you. Chummy and I have been trying to arrange a time with you to design your wedding dress. If I didn't know better, I'd think you had been avoiding me.”

“My main concern these days is caring for young Timothy and encouraging him with his exercises, not on frivolous things such as gowns.” Shelagh knew she had overreacted. that her all too recent musings on motherhood had coloured her reply.

Trixie paused for a second, as if she was considering how to respond herself. As she studied Shelagh, she wondered what she saw; her confident colleague and superior or a neurotic woman, only slightly older than herself, but completely out of her depth.

The midwife hopped off her bike and leant it against the wall of the nearby Napoli. Taking hold of Shelagh’s arm once again, she pushed her through the Italian bistro’s door.

The warmth of the cafe complimented the welcome from behind the counter.

“Nurse Franklin. Lovely to see you again. Sit anywhere, you have avoided the rush.”

Shelagh sat opposite Trixie, filling a table for two next to an enormous mirror. It had been three months since Shelagh had looked at herself in the sanatorium mirror wearing her tired 1940s two piece, but the unexpected appearance of her reflection wrong footed her. She noticed Trixie gave her own image the briefest of glimpses and adjusted her hat in response.

A dark haired man in his twenties with a pristine white shirt and military ironed black trousers arrived at the table offering to take their coats. Trixie explained they would just be taking tea and a cannoli each. Shelagh wanted to protest that she could still taste the vicar’s Typhoo on her lips and had a raspberry seed wedged into one of her molars. The discomfort brought on by the mirror and the lack of familiarity in her surroundings somehow weakened her ability to protest.

The tea arrived swiftly in a large stainless steel teapot accompanied by two white pyrex turquoise band teacups and saucers. A matching tea plate with the Italian cream filled pastry followed.

Trixie ignored Shelagh’s raised hand towards the tea strainer she was flowing the hot amber liquid trough and filled her teacup to the rim.

“How long have we known each other?” Trixie had obviously come to a conclusion regarding the dilemma that appeared to have gripped her out doors. “You were the only one who saw through me almost ten years ago.” The bridge of Shelagh’s nose wrinkled in confusion. “You saw through my clipped, cut glass tones and my faultless sense of style and saw a nurse and a midwife and believed in me. I now can see through you, Sister Bernadette as was, you need to believe in yourself as a bride worthy of the man that adores you.”

Shelagh smiled affectionately at her friend and used the pastry fork to poke at her unprecedented third treat of the day.

“A little bird told me that you and Dr Turner had a very special appointment this morning.”

Shelagh decided it was only fair to relieve her animated companion's agitation.

“Yes, the wedding is booked for the second week in February.”

“That soon! Oh, we have so much work to do in such a short time.” Trixie dropped her fork and placed both hands on either side of her waist as if steadying herself.

“We do?” Exclaimed Shelagh.

Trixie frowned at the woman opposite, as if she was without reason.

“When is the wedding?”

[reiwanwan]

How peaky men fart ‼️

So….today we will be discussing the different ways that I personally think these peaky men fart, maybe I will make this a series like “Unhinged peaky blinder headcanons” And if you have your own unhinged headcanons that you want do feel free to ask! my request are very much open

Tommy 🤍

- most people are convinced this man doesn’t fart, but it’s a natural human function so of course even tommy shelby needs to let one out

- Dead serious expression and completely unfazed

- His farts have no sound and they dont even stink so no one even knows if he farted

- He also has pretty privilege and he knows that so he uses it to his full advantage

- Because of that he has the ability to fart loudly and no one would even bother to think it was him because pretty people dont fart

- In the scenario where if he let one out silently and it did stink he would probably just light a cigarette afterwards to cover up the smell

Arthur 🧡

- Loud and unapologetic

- Disrespectful.

- Absolutely no consideration for the people around him

- He would let it rip and laugh and say that it was the “sound of victory”

- He farts the loudest and is very proud of the volume of it

- He wont fart around ladies though

-Buuut if you were a guy, I’m sorry but you are going to be his victim

-He is kind enough though to let you know if he’s going to fart

John 🩵

- Now this one does NOT let you know when he is going to fart

- Always blames it on someone else

- Has the WETTEST farts and you’re always having to ask him to check his boxers because you are so sure he shit himself

- He does the classic “pull my finger” joke with his kids

- If you were laying down next to this man i’m sorry but you are getting dutch ovened and you will suffocate

- After he lets you out he apologises and says “must be the cabbages you made earlier”

Alfie 🤎

- Another loud farter here, second to arthur

- Also lets you know when he’s going to fart

- You guys could be walking together and he will stop you, “Hold on treacle…” and then proceed to rip ass.

- Will continue holding your hand as he farts

-If you seem embarrassed he will turn it into a whole monologue when he’s done and when you guys continue walking

- Gives long-winded explanations about how it is “A normal human bodily function”

- “you see love…holding it in wouldn’t be healthy because you see right…it’s a sign of a proper, working digestive system, its how god meant it to be”

Michael 💙

- Oh boy please don’t ever call him out he will get defensive and his ego will be CRUSHED

- Really feels like farting is emasculating and will insist on holding it in till he gets home to let it out

- Polly can always tell when he needs to fart for some reason and will tell her stubborn son that he is allowed to fart

- But in the case where he desperately needs to fart, he will excuse himself and go outside

- And boy does he let that one go wild because he’s pretty sure that fart cured all his stomach problems

- His farts doesn’t smell too idk why I just feel like he wouldn’t have stinky farts

Finn 💛

- Everyone pushes the blame onto him if they fart

- Especially arthur

-John would blame it on finn if he was sitting next to girl that he fancied. “Ughhh finn you nasty bastard…letting one out next to a lass?”

-Tommy would fart and then blame it on finn if someone smelt his own silent fart and everyone around will he quick to believe him

-Poor Finn

-If he farts he will be very embarrassed

-but understands its normal so he would try not to make a big deal out of it and man it out lol

-If people do start laughing at him though, he will join and laugh along just to save face even if it did actually hurt his feelings just a wee bit

That is all lovely human beings please do let me know what you guys think of this. The reason for writing this purely because I was super bored and my imagination goes wild and also because I thought that it would be completely hilarious lmao xx

[fortloser]

Hello again! Sooo kinda a personal question but what was yalls childhoods like?

(Also, hope u feel better snipes!)

-Terror

Hallo everyone! I finally got my hands on those portraits! Now most of the others became rather uncomfortable when I started questioning them about their youths. I got answers ranging from “why are you so bloody intrested in how im doing! There’s nothing special about me or my childhood, now bugger off.” to more reasonable explanations. I tried calling Scout on his cellular device but he seemed very preoccupied. Oh well, he’ll get back to you on that, onto the testimonies! Brace yourself friends this will be somewhat lengthy.

I first approached herr Demo, and getting him to open up was fairly easy. His favorite alcoholic beverage and a snack did the trick!

“ It must be me birthday if yer spoiling me rotten doc, I guess I can share something about me youth if yer willing to lend an ear. I grew up in Glencoe Scotland, a great place if you like trails and hiking. Me mum and dad were professional monster hunters and me being the wee little lad that I was wanted to impress em with the greatest catch any child could give their parents, the Loch Ness monster! I did it all on me own but it came at a cost,,”

After that herr demo just stared off in the distance and I made a mental note to ask him more about that later, The Engineer was also very open about his youth! I came to him shortly after dinner knowing he would be busying himself with one of his long-term projects and would enjoy some company, his leg was still a little stiff from a rather nasty fall and so movement was difficult at times. He was more than happy to talk while I assisted.

“Luckenbach Texas, everybody is somebody there. It was recently bought by a goat farmer. Can you believe that? He called himself an Imagineer and after that, a bunch of hillbilly musicians started moving in. Can't complain though, It breathed new life into my home, I hated going back and seeing the state it was in. My mom and pop own a small pig farm there, and I still try to visit though unlike my good-for-nothing twin with his stupid fancy job at “NASA”,,

I don't think I should share his personal frustration about his twin with the public so let's move on, yes? The next day I approached Heavy, he was last on my list and seemingly already aware of me interrogating the entire team, and as he was cleaning his minigun he told me to take a seat.

“You want to know about heavy, Da? Then I will tell you about heavy. Grew up in big town near mountain, you would not know it. Had big family, many sisters and brothers but Heavy was oldest. Family was poor but happy, loved summer, snow would melt and grass and flowers would show, heavy likes this. Went to good school had many friends, now heavy works to give family same life. Doctor is happy  with answer?”

I was surprised he was so willing to talk about his youth, I politely thanked him and left to prepare for that day's battle, I suppose that only leaves me left.

I was born in Germany, my mother was German and my father was Dutch and they both moved to Germany so my mother could be close to her family, he was a watchmaker and she was an artist, this relationship did not last and they got divorced. My motherstayed in germany allowing my father to raise me on his own back in the netherlands. I spent a lot of time in my father's workshop while he was trying to fix up old clocks. I didn't have many friends but who needs them when you have books and wildlife to observe? I excelled in all of my studies and pursued medicine, and eventually ended up here writing to you after I just finished up patching the last of my colleagues.

Stay healthy

With kind regards medic

[malestransforming]

hey man life’s stressful. do you think you could change me? take away some of that stress and make me dumber and buffer

snap

Welcome to my changing room. No need to thank me. You have been selected! You're going to love what I have in store for you. I heard the poor baby has some stress in his life. Oh dear, what a poor baby. Let me make it better for you. I'll change your life so your only stress is not having enough hours in the day to pump in the gym.

Oh you like that idea, huh? I can tell — your dick is already hard. Let's start there... I'll make it a little bigger. Oh, your balls need to be much lower than that, and they need to be fucking heavy man. Give 'em a squeeze. Feels good, right?

Now where to go from here? How about down? Your butt is awful flat... I'll fix it. Feel it grow and inflate. Feel it firm up and shift out. Feel it squeeze and tighten. Damn, that's a great ass.

Your thighs and legs. They're bigger. Those muscles might be sore for a bit — you just finished a big workout!

You want a 6 pack? 8 pack? Must be nice to watch all that fat and chub melt away... to be replaced by chiselled abs and an adonis belt you could hang a spoon off of. Go ahead and flex that. I'm gonna widen your shoulders a ton. You're gonna have trouble fitting through doorways son! You'll need thick arms, bulging veins. You are a fucking muscle beast bro!

I'll add some muscle to your chest and pecs. Feel that burning and stretching. Your nipples are relocating to the tip of your pec. Perfectly little brown circles. And just a wee bit sensitive. Especially if I rub my finger around like this.

You like that. I saw your dick twitch. You love nipple play now. Especially when guys, ahem - you're gay too, when guys lick around it with their tongues.

Time for your face. Boyish looks. You have the bod, but your face is clean and smooth. And this is going to be the fun part for me — the mental changes! You're fucking dumb as all shit bro! Ch'yeah bro, don't worry about using that head of yours. Just keep pumping that muscle up and taking selfies in the mirror. With a face and a body like yours, who needs to think?

[gabessquishytum]

Helloo, wasn't sure how to go about this but please ignore the previous ask if there's already one in your inbox. My internet was kinda screwy when I sent it before, so I wasn't sure if you'd received it or not (Tumblr said it was sent but I have doubts, my internet was seriously screwy XD) But I made one teensy edit in my ask, BAHAHAHA I made it hornier is what I mean... I need to touch some serious grass.

This blog really isn't good for my heart, I mean my god, the last few asks have been an absolute exercise in control for me, testing my ability to not squeal like a goddamn lunatic in public. All of them feed my inner bottom!Hob demon so much, I just can't.

The insane stamina Dream ask is just gloriously messy, and imagining the aftermath is doing things to my mind, okay. Imagining Hob fucked stupid, still on his knees but his front has completely collapsed - his arms gave up pretty early actually - but now, he's been reduced to a twitching mindless mess, his eyes are glazed over from the pleasure, mouth open and drooling, and finally his arse, my gosh his poor, puffy, swollen, and twitching open hole that's just leaking Dream's cum continuously. It can't seem to close, not yet anyway, but for the moment, it seems like Dream may have gotten a wee bit carried away. Oh well, since Hob's mind is already gone, Dream might as well enjoy himself more by eating out Hob, all the cum's gotta come out sometime, right? I'm sure Dream will make up for the brutal fucking and the overstimulation with aftercare, it'll be a nice surprise for when Hob mentally recovers enough to be aware again XD.

The sex pollen/aphrodisiac ask, GORGEOUS. Titania, get fucked by literally anyone else. I love this one, I really do. I love the image of Hob being confused cause Dream's not fucking him, pulling on Dream's clothes whining all the while, forgetting that there are people watching (faeries but whatever) reverting to his sugar baby voice to beg, calling Dream daddy UHAIUHIAUANSDANGGFDGDSGFDDASND okay. It's just so cute, okay? Begging Dream so sweetly to fuck him, cause he feels so hot and itchy inside, and he's clenching around nothing. When that goes ignored, Hob takes off his clothes cause he can't take the heat anymore, and he reaches around to fuck himself with his fingers, without permission. Dream is just absolutely horny and livid now, everyone is getting a show all because Titania dared to fuck around with such an underhanded tactic. And Hob may have been drugged but he should've known better than to touch himself without permission, he's definitely getting a punishment when they get back, but for the moment, Dream needs to show everyone that he's perfectly and wonderfully happy with his human lover.

The language kink, I just. I just can't. Is there any kink that won't fit these two. I mean, Dream being merciless, purposefully making Hob mispronounce everything, making him cry over his mistakes. At some point, the sadistic bastard just drops the pretense and fucks Hob for the rest of the session, making him cry all over again.

Basically, Hob needs to be fucked stupid, and be left gaping and sloppy. Always. Always. No exceptions.

-Love Yan Anon <3

Alakskdjfh the Internet definitely ate your first message but this one got in loud and clear!! Thank you so much for appreciating and embellishing some of the recent Slut Archive moments! I must say that the sex pollen lives rent free in my mind <3

I truly appreciate your appreciation of the smut, my dear. Just take care of that heart of yours 😉

[messenger-of-stupidity]

One word.

Wendigos.

Okay thank you for coming to my TED TALK

HAHAHAHAHHA YEAH RIGHT 

I have more about wendigos because I have a problem. No yall dont get to know what the problem is. That’s a secret for the winner of the hunt

pleasesendhelpihaventsleptfor27hours

FIVE FUN FACTS ABOUT WENDIGOS WITH MESSENGER!

1) It has Native American origin. Specifically the Native American tribes that spoke Algonquin (A dialect of Ojibwa spoken by the Algonquins. Which, if you didn’t know, are the Indigenous people living in Canada along the Ottawa River and its tributaries and westward to the north of Lake Superior.) The other tribes that had the wendigo in their folklore are the Saulteaux, the Cree, the Ojibwe, the Naskapi,  and the Innu (if I remember the last two right. Like I said, getting really sleep deprived and this is from memory. But I need to get it out of my brain and on here because I have the aforementioned problem.)

2) It has several names! They all are like some variation of Wendigo though. But the names are; Windigo, Witigo, Witiko, and Wee-Tee-Go. All of these roughly translate to “the evil spirit that devours mankind.”

3) As with most folklore, depending on the legend, the appearance of the Wendigo changes. But some describe the wendigo as an emaciated figure with ashen flesh. Others describe it as a giant creature up to 15 feet (4.5 metres) tall or as a beast that grows larger the more it eats. It may have sunken or glowing eyes and sharp yellowed fangs and claws. There are some that say it’s may appear as a monster with some human characteristics or as a spirit who has possessed a human being and made them monstrous. 3a) The Algonquian legend describes it as: “a giant with a heart of ice; sometimes, it is thought to be entirely made of ice. Its body is skeletal and deformed, with missing lips and toes.”  3b) The Ojibwa describe it as: “It was a large creature, as tall as a tree, with a lipless mouth and jagged teeth. Its breath was a strange hiss, its footprints full of blood, and it ate any man, woman, or child who ventured into its territory. And those were the lucky ones. Sometimes, the Wendigo chose to possess a person instead, and then the luckless individual became a Wendigo himself, hunting down those he had once loved and feasting upon their flesh.”

4) I know what you’re thinking. Wow Messenger! How does a wendigo possess a human? Going back to that whole “spirit that devours mankind” thing, keep that in your mind along with possession. Now, a wendigo is historically associated with cannibalism, murder, insatiable greed, and cultural taboos against such behaviors. Those kind of things might devour your humanity, and if you exhibit such behaviors, you must be possessed by a wendigo! Although they are called the Flesheaters of the Forest for a reason soooo.. devouring is in the literal sense as well.

5) A legit medical condition borrowed the name Wendigo! It’s called Wendigo psychosis. Some psychiatrists consider it a syndrome that creates an intense craving for human flesh and a fear of becoming a cannibal. Ironically, this psychosis occurs in people living around the Great Lakes of Canada and the United States. Wendigo psychosis usually develops in the winter in individuals isolated by heavy snow for long periods. The initial symptoms are poor appetite, nausea, and vomiting. Subsequently, the individual develops a delusion of being transformed into a Wendigo monster. People who have Wendigo psychosis increasingly see others around them as being edible. At the same time, they have an exaggerated fear of becoming cannibals.The most common response when a person showed signs of Wendigo psychosis was a curing attempt by traditional native healers. In past cases, if these attempts failed and the possessed person began to threaten those around them or to act violently or anti-socially, they were executed. There have been reports regarding this psychosis dating back hundreds of years (as far back as 1661).

[sneak-a-cat]

Breaking bad season 1

Episode 1:

imma be honest with you i have seen the first episode before and it was like. aight from what i can remember, but it was a wee while ago

when was this made why does it feel like i can taste the screen with how it looks

2008. yeah that tracks

what a start why is walter not wearing any clothes except for pants??

they have just crashed a car, awesome i love them already

Yo Mr White why do you have hair??

jessie looks half dead this s tragic

"hartwell"? ok mr weird middle name

the weird intro twang is here, we love to hear it

i am enjoying the element puns in the names, i like that they capitalise it properly even at the end of a name

he is 50, amazing

i assure you i would taste the difference in veggie bacon, cholesterol be damned

oh he is teaching... badly?

oh nvm he took fire out quickly to grab attention and changed its colour, awesome

he works two jobs? poor guy... he must be tired

oh no i remember this, he is cleaning cars and his students find out and they make fun of him... :(

Nobody seems to like Walter?? why am i so upset about this??

i can't tell if him and his wife are domestic or like. a weirdly sad

oddest scene with a hand job i have ever seen? i think?

mr coughs a lot cancer boy, please go to the doctor.

oh and he has collapsed nice one

tell your wife you have cancer you idiot

what is his wives name... google help me Skyler aha gotcha

"i said 'fuck you' AND your eyebrows" i love this man he is hilarious and sad like a wet cat

"Cap'n Cook" thats an amazing name

Walter is appalled by the lack of professional decorum by the police force <3 (they were betting on the race of the meth cook)

ok this swat scene is fun... i'm into it, we shall see how fight scenes go

JESSE YAY!!

off he runs, Jesse is free, i love him <333

ok so he is out of school, previous student of Walt, interesting

jesse you are so stupid... he has his car plate as "the cap" or something, you silly guy your name is "Cap'n Cook" you silly silly boy

Skyler writes? that's fun, i hate her sister she can fuck off and die

actors are good, i don't like the characters as intended

walter is stealing supplies you go girl, commit those crimes

aw walter is being a nerd about beakers and flasks <33

he knows his stuff lets go chemistry teacher man

please don't snort chilli powder

"you can dress up like a faggot all you want, not me" bbg, jesse you are giving me some sort of vibe and homophobic was not one of them

"he's just gonna break bad" he said the thing!! yay jesse

jesse is being very reasonable, you do need to discuss why you are doing this with him walter

I like walters kid

ableist assholes in the background can fuck off, little bastards

Walt you go bbg beat their asses, you go girl

i like how Walter Jr just looks hella pleased that his dad just beat them

"cow house?" "yeah where they live? the cows?" amazing interaction, jesse you are so stupid <3

Jesse is horrified by Mr White in his underwear

they are making chemistry seem cool (and not tedious) and showing differences in the characters in a montage, awesome

puppies!

jesse is shit at talking big, jesse is shit at talking in general alright then

Mr White please just bring some clothes to wear dedicated to using in the lab. stop stripping near nude

jesse i love your pathetic ass

he fell over instantly in a chase <3 he is useless <3

chemistry boy just poisoned people you, Yo Mr White your a badass

he is also the sweatiest man in the west

ok i think i'll like the fight scenes and shit, this seems to be banger, we are back at the start of the episode and now we know how we got here, nice i like it

oh jeez walter just tried to commit suicide but safety was on alrighty then

Walter just proper yarfed after being cool and explaining his plan, nice one man

why is there money in the dryer??

episode ended with him having sex with his wife awesome.

[convertml]

You sent out a survey to 1000 customers but hardly got any responses. Now what?

Just last week, I shared one of those personality test quizzes with several of my friends. I pestered them to complete the test soon, and we all had a hearty laugh over our results. Over the years, I have taken several such tests, shared them as stories or posted them onto my wall. And all of this without being prompted to do so. Why did I go out of my way to do this?

And it doesn’t end here. A lot of marketers, after having access to survey data, find it difficult to make sense of and use it. How does it contribute to the overall marketing strategy?

Here’s what we’re going to focus on in the article:

How not to create boring surveys?

Not just thanking customers for their time but incentivizing them

Realizing that customer surveys are a gold-mine of information! (and worth investing in)

How not to create boring surveys: Types of questions that customers scratch their heads over

Say you’re a frequent flyer of “FlyOn”. After multiple emails and reminders — and a redeemable shopping coupon (which may have done the trick) — you decide to quickly complete the survey. And here are the questions you’re supposed to answer:

Have you flown with us before? ⬜ Yes ⬜ No

Do you like flying with FlyOn? ⬜ Yes ⬜ No

How would you rate our FlyOn Max program launched six months ago? ⬜ Excellent ⬜ Good ⬜ Fair ⬜ Poor

Is our website intuitive and accessible? ⬜ Very Intuitive and Accessible ⬜ Somewhat Intuitive and Accessible ⬜ Not Very Intuitive and Accessible ⬜ Not Intuitive and Not Accessible

Do you like our in-flight services and additional legroom and cushioned seats? ⬜ Love Them ⬜ Like Them ⬜ Neutral ⬜ Dislike Them ⬜ Hate Them

Have you ever had an issue such as longer waiting times, misplaced baggage, or rude staff? ⬜ Yes, Longer Waiting Times ⬜ Yes, Misplaced Baggage ⬜ Yes, Rude Staff ⬜ Yes, Multiple Issues ⬜ No, Never

What is your experience with in-flight meals and entertainment? ⬜ Fantastic ⬜ Good ⬜ Okay ⬜ Dissatisfactory ⬜ Terrible

Do you think we need to improve our ground services? ⬜ Yes ⬜ No

How likely are you to travel on another flight that is more expensive than FlyOn but offers direct flights between two cities? ⬜ Very Likely ⬜ Likely ⬜ Neutral ⬜ Unlikely ⬜ Very Unlikely

Would you recommend FlyOn to your friends, colleagues, and family? ⬜ Yes ⬜ No

You begin answering the questions one-by-one:

Narrow range of options. “Yes/No” doesn’t dig further into how frequently you fly.

Again, a narrow range of options. What if your experience with “FlyOn” is somewhat positive but not great?

Lack of context. What is the FlyOn Max program? What should your answer be? Where’s the skip option?

At this point, you’re most likely to leave the survey unanswered (Time to scroll Reddit) But hey, you’re going shopping with that coupon, so you bear with the questions.

Jargon. Accessible, intuitive? And then the confusion lot of options.

What if you have a wee bit of a problem with the in-flight services but absolutely love the legroom and the seats? There’s no option for that!

Plenty of issues grouped together into one! Maybe these could have been addressed separately?

Maybe the coupon is really not worth sitting through this survey. But hey, you checked in early (anxious flyer!) and you have plenty of time to kill.

Didn’t you already answer a question related to in-flight services? And again, the entertainment collection is laughable. The food is awful too. How do you convey that to FlyOn?

Maybe FlyOn doesn’t really care? This must be a routine task for them.

Again. Binary options.

Um, what? You’ve zoned out twice already.

Yes, you’re going to ask them NOT to take the survey.

Time to redeem the coupon. And surprise, surprise.

“Congratulations, you get a flat $20 off all winter clothing at Mr. Gray. Please note that this offer is only valid for exclusive members of Mr. Gray.”

Let’s look at some obvious problems with the survey:

Questions

Let’s bin the questions into categories:

Ambiguous

Overly complex or incorrectly phrased

Difficult to understand because of jargon

Without context

Double-barreled, with two sets of questions grouped incorrectly

Options/ResponsesThe major issue with options provided:

Narrow range

Difficult to understand

Lack of additional text boxes to allow individuals to customize their responses

Incentive Remember what we said? The surveys should be such that the individual taking it must be compensated/rewarded in a way that justifies the time they spent taking it. According to research by PeoplePulse, offering an incentive is very important — research results show it will typically lift response rates by 10–15%. Breaking down the survey incentive, which was offered only at the end, we have:

“Congratulations, you get a flat $20 off all winter clothing at Mr. Gray. Please note that this offer is only valid for exclusive members of Mr. Gray.”

all winter clothing + exclusive members + Mr. Gray: This narrows the options available for people taking the survey. The promised incentive falls short of doing what it’s intended to do: reward people for their time and effort.

And as you must have guessed correctly, both methods have their pros and cons. The problem with the promised incentive is that there’s no reward in sight. No instant kick. And with peoples’ faltering interest levels, it is highly likely that a lot of them would drop out of the survey midway.

Similarly, surveys with prepaid incentives may have people quickly wanting to complete the survey to grab all the rewards without giving much thought to their responses. Or they may collect the initial rewards and drop out of the survey. Yes, we’re all guilty of doing that!

Making the survey better again & offering the right incentives: Time to put on our thinking caps!

We’re going to help FlyOn improve its survey now. Just a couple of changes: Questions

The intent of the survey should be clear. You don’t want to flood the surveys with questions that wouldn’t contribute to your study. For example, the survey’s intent might be customer satisfaction, NPS measurement, or pricing strategy.

Make sure your questions apply to the audience you’re sending the survey to. When questions are relatable and meant for the audience, the answers will be honest, too.

They have to be simple, to-the-point, and short. Your questions shouldn’t require individuals to think, re-read, or refer elsewhere to answer them.

Use a variety of question types, such as multiple choice, open-ended, and rating questions.

Avoid using jargon or technical terms. People don’t really have the time to look up what a certain term means.

Use conversational language. Your questions need to “interact” with an individual not to “interrogate” them. For this, use neutral and friendly tone throughout.

The survey has to be short. Limit your survey to 5 minutes.

Responses

Avoid overly long/complex options for multiple-choice questions.

Provide a wide range of options so an individual doesn’t feel restricted in their answers. If possible, provide additional text boxes wherever necessary.

When providing options, limit to a maximum of 5 or 6. Anything more than this will require additional focus and effort, which we want to avoid.

Again, stay away from technical terms/jargon.

Incentives

The incentives you provide must be relevant and relatable to your target group or be universal. You wouldn’t want to offer a coupon for kids’ toys or pet accessories.

Use small, frequent initiatives (don’t give away everything at once) to keep people motivated to complete the survey.

If possible, you could let individuals choose what they want. A coupon, a cash voucher, a discount on the next flight, or a priority pass.

The last reward — that is given upon survey completion — can be a lottery draw for a big prize. When people have already collected smaller rewards, they’d want to aim for the bigger one. If nothing, they’d be happy with all the smaller rewards they received.

If you opt for pre-paid rewards, have a system that adds the rewards to a cart that can be accessed upon survey completion. This is to counter scenarios where someone might leave the survey midway through while claiming most of the rewards.

Design

Use images, icons, and illustrations in your surveys. The survey page has to be visually appealing.

Ensure proper color contrast, text size, and screen reader compatibility. You can also provide tiny buttons that let users customize the font size and theme of the page. Place it such that it doesn’t interfere with the survey itself.

Make sure the buttons for navigation and interaction are clearly labeled and easy to tap or click. No one likes spending time figuring out what button does what or why their response isn’t registering.

Avoid too many pop-ups or distractions. No one likes them.

Provide a progress bar to track the completion status. Allow users to skip questions.

Of course, based on your target group, you can choose to experiment with icons, background, font, and your overall theme. For example, if the airline survey is meant only for individuals between 18 and 30, you can use a slightly informal tone and have more emojis and maybe memes? (Again, nothing that distracts!)

And test, test, and test before you send it out to everyone! Let’s have a look at the modified survey questionnaire.

How frequently have you flown with FlyOn in the past? ⬜ Frequently ⬜ Occasionally ⬜ Rarely ⬜ Only once or twice ⬜ This is my first time

How satisfied are you with your experiences flying with FlyOn? ⬜ Very Satisfied ⬜ Satisfied ⬜ Neutral ⬜ Dissatisfied ⬜ Very Dissatisfied Incentive: Complete this question to receive a one-time $10 cash coupon reimbursable at any of the food counters inside the airport.

Please rate our FlyOn Max program launched six months ago: ⬜ Excellent ⬜ Good ⬜ Fair ⬜ Poor ⬜ N/A (I don’t have this card)

Incentive (for N/A): Complete this question and receive a FlyOn Max card with no joining or annual fee for the first year! For our FlyOn Max customers, we want to offer a 30% discount on your renewals!

Is our website easy to use? ⬜ Very User-Friendly ⬜ Somewhat User-Friendly ⬜ Neutral ⬜ Not Very User-Friendly ⬜ Not User-Friendly at All

How would you rate the comfort of FlyOn’s seats and the legroom? ⬜ Very Comfortable ⬜ Somewhat Comfortable ⬜ Neutral ⬜ Not Very Comfortable ⬜ Very Uncomfortable

Have you encountered any issues during your previous flights with FlyOn? (Select all that apply). Your response will help us improve our services. ⬜ Longer Waiting Times ⬜ Misplaced Baggage ⬜ Rude or unhelpful Staff ⬜ Security or safety concerns ⬜ Flight delays

Other (please specify) Incentive: Complete this question and receive a one-time 5% discount code for your next FlyOn domestic flight.

On a scale of 1 to 5, please rate your in-flight meals experience, where 1 is the lowest and 5 is the highest rating: ⬜ 1 (Very Unsatisfactory) ⬜ 2 (Unsatisfactory) ⬜ 3 (Acceptable) ⬜ 4 (Good) ⬜ 5 (Exceptional)

Incentive: Complete this question and receive a $5 voucher for in-flight purchases on your FlyOn flight.

On a scale of 1 to 5, please rate your in-flight entertainment experience, where 1 is the lowest and 5 is the highest rating: ⬜ 1 (Very Unsatisfactory) ⬜ 2 (Unsatisfactory) ⬜ 3 (Acceptable) ⬜ 4 (Good) ⬜ 5 (Exceptional) What are some movies/shows that you want us to add to our collection?

On a scale from 1 to 5, how likely are you to choose a more expensive flight with direct service between two cities over FlyOn? ⬜ 5 (Very Likely) ⬜ 4 (Likely) ⬜ 3 (Neutral) ⬜ 2 (Unlikely) ⬜ 1 (Very Unlikely)

Incentive: You stand a chance to win free round-trip flights to your preferred domestic destination! Don’t wait any longer, complete the survey!

How likely are you to recommend FlyOn to your friends, colleagues, and family? ⬜ Very Likely ⬜ Likely ⬜ Neutral ⬜ Unlikely ⬜ Very Unlikely

Please feel free to write to us for any other concerns or feedback you might have for us.

There are three additional columns in the table: Name, Age, Gender. You may either capture these values when an individual starts the survey or import them from a CRM based on a unique ID (common to the survey and HubSpot). Here’s something that we’ve explored:

Typeform to create and distribute your survey You’ve surely heard of Typeform! It’s a no-nonsense, user-friendly, and versatile platform for creating surveys, forms, or questionnaires. So, you create and send out a survey (a pre-defined template or a completely customizable one) to your flyers. The data collected is stored securely on the cloud.

HubSpot for importing individuals’ details and other transactional data HubSpot, a market’s go-to CRM, helps store all the transactional data that you’d need for your analysis: Sales data, customer interaction history, your own customized metrics, you name it.

In the above example, you can import the individual’s name, age, gender, location, and other behavioral metrics to add to the survey data you collected using Typeform. Combining survey data with other quantitative and qualitative data will help give you a 360-degree video of an individual.

Extracting information from the survey results To keep it simple, we’re going to take the above table as our reference, but here’s how a unified table would like: Unified view using a one-click integration tool “convertML”. Though our analysis is going to be limited to just 10 flyers, we ask you to extend the same for 400+ flyers! (You know the rule: the more the data, the better the insights). Here’s a glimpse of what’s possible (and the reality is even better):

Customer-centric initiatives John says he likes FlyOn and the exclusive membership “FlyOn Max”. In a larger set, the airline can find out if the program has been benefiting the exclusive members. In the same way, the airline can find what each customer segment prefers (grouping them by age) and introduce or modify initiatives based on what they observe. For example, the data may show that most users in the age group 22 to 30 prefer action movies to be added to the in-flight entertainment catalog. Or that a lot of flyers between 50 to 60 are not satisfied with in-flight meals. You get the picture. Having access to granular details can help FlyOn know what exactly to focus on.

Customer support enhancement Emily had issues with misplaced baggage and rude staff. She writes “Work on educating your staff on flight etiquette and then worry about entertainment.” In a larger set, FlyOn may see recurring keywords or phrases associated with negative reviews. Even better, they may observe specific keywords associated with dissatisfied flyers in different age groups. For example, passengers aged 45–54 might consistently complain about “Bad leg space” while passengers aged 25–34 express concerns about “Baggage handling” Time for FlyOn to investigate!

Keyword frequency and sentiment analysis A keyword frequency analysis on the entire dataset can reveal frequently occurring keywords in the feedback or a common movie that many users want! (Maybe they all want to watch The Office?). Or a sentiment analysis on the dataset can help bin feedback into positive, neutral, and negative. Adding an angle to this, let’s say “age group” can indicate which group has the most positive or negative sentiment. Further analysis can help FlyOn pinpoint the exact factors that are leading to dissatisfaction amongst an age group.

Analyzing text data also shows the trending topics across a time period. Sudden increase in “Unhygienic” or “Bad food” and FlyOn knows what exactly to prioritize.

Customer journey maps Rachel’s answers indicate that she’s very satisfied with FlyOn’s services. Again, in a larger set, it is possible for FlyOn to determine the factors that contributed to a great experience. FlyOn can also group this by gender and age to pinpoint the reasons contributing to the flyer’s satisfaction with the airline. It can then replicate them for other customers to improve the overall customer experience.

Personally, direct flights and swift boarding make me happy :) Take note, FlyOn!

Product development Let’s say a large sample of people had recurring issues with booking online tickets. This would be evident from responses related to “Is our website easy to use?” or a similar question and the keyword frequency analysis. On a granular level, it could show that users between 50 and 60 found it difficult to understand error messages such as “your connection is wobbly” or that individuals between 20 and 30 wanted more payment options. Interesting, no?

The table can be much longer if you include more factors to the equation. I hope that this justifies the statement we made earlier: you’re sitting in a gold-mine of information! The trick is to use the right tools and techniques. Moving on to the final section: What would the ROI be if you were to invest in a survey like this?

On a scale of 1–5, how good is the ROI? Well, a solid 5! We’ve successfully created a survey questionnaire that we’re confident will get FlyOn a 20–30% response rate. We’ve seen a plethora of benefits stem from the right use of survey data. But what about the costs associated with this survey? Remember that a lot of marketers expressed their concerns about not being able to justify the cost of a survey and the ROI on this? Let’s have a look:

Costs Let’s do a breakdown of the costs associated with the survey:

$10 cash coupon (I1): Each respondent who completes this question will receive a $10 cash coupon.

FlyOn Max card incentive (I2): Respondents who choose “N/A” will receive a FlyOn Max card with no joining or annual fee for the first year. FlyOn Max customers get a 30% discount on renewals.

5% discount code for the next FlyOn domestic flight (I3): Each respondent who completes this question will receive a 5% discount code. Assume the maximum ticket price between destinations is $500 (Maine to Hawaii)

$5 voucher for in-flight purchases (I4): Each respondent who completes this question will receive a $5 voucher.

Free round-trip flights (I5): Only 10 people will receive this award through a lucky draw, with an assumed value of $1,500 per person.

Let’s say all 1000 people take the survey, of which 5% of the people have the FlyOn Max cards.

For 900 people:

10*900 = $9000

As part of customer acquisition (not related to survey costs)

5% * 500 * 900 = $22,500

$5 * 900 = $4500

For 100 people:

10*100 = $1000

As part of loyalty program (not related to survey costs)

5%*500*100 = $2500

$5*100 = $500

A flat $1000 for 10 people who win the lottery. The maximum possible cost for such a survey comes to $50,000.

Revenue

Acquisition of new customers: Let’s say that FlyOn makes the best use of the survey insights and gets 50 new frequent flyers with an average spending of $1,000 each. This is an additional $50,000 revenue.

Increased customer loyalty: FlyOn realizes that the exclusive membership is popular and introduces additional offers that improve customer spending by 10%, leading to an additional $10,000 in revenue.

Data-driven improvements: Data collected from the survey results in cost savings of $10,000.

Churn reduction: The 5% reduction in churn leads to a 25% increase in profits on retained customers, resulting in an additional $10,000 in revenue.

This brings in an additional revenue of $80,000. % ROI = (80,000–50,000)/50,000 * 100 = 60%. FlyOn makes $1.6 for every $1 it spends! Note: Again, these numbers are hypothetical, but informed. As a fun exercise, you can create a similar estimate in your industry and let us know!

CTA

Schedule a demo with us to learn how we can help you with a similar setup. Time to get that 10X ROI!

[ebonyheartnet]

Okay, I’m back with a short rec list to get you started. This isn’t my primary ship, so anyone who wants to take initiative after me, just know that I see reblogs, not tags (*hint hint* 👀).

Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts is a series by the illustrious @unpretty who is a god among authors. It actually contains a ton of ships, sprawling across a wide universe, but their dynamic here is So Good (and it would be criminal not to mention this every chance I got). We’ve got angst, we’ve got a wee bit of crack, some fluff, and some heartbreakingly beautiful moments in here. Seriously, the series lives up to its name.

Clark Kent and His Robins by Zell_Hatoule is a WIP I adore from the bottom of my heart. Basically, “What if Bruce relaxed enough to let Clark take over as Batman when he needs a break, and then they fall in love + typical DC shenanigans?”

Somniphobia by Arwriter is a one-shot where poor Bruce is terrified to sleep bc Must Protect. It’s more than a little heartbreaking, and please mind the tags, they are not exaggerating. The panic attack is *brutal*. Clark is achingly soft in this one though, and I need more, “Bruce is not infallible, and his weaponized paranoia is still a disability,” in my life.

A Match Into Water by Arwriter is yet another fantastic work by this author, but hey! Now it’s Clark getting traumatized! There is temporary character death in this one, and our boy is going through it. Once again, mind the tags!

The Wayne Foundation by Mithen is a lovely little one-shot where Clark Kent drags off Bruce Wayne after a socialite kisses the man, and everyone takes it as confirmation of the rumors. It is, of course, a hell of a lot more complicated, and very, very sweet. If you love fluff, this is for you.

Strong as Gossamer by Mithen is E for, “Everyone under 18 needs to look away.” Now this is a beautiful little gem about kink, bondage, and Clark being at the mercy of Bruce’s beautiful, beautiful brain. It’s earned the Ace w/ ADHD seal of approval, okay? I almost never recommend anything explicit, and I’ve reread this short lil one-shot just for the relationship dynamic. In my opinion, it’s just as good as the sex. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pull that off in 2k??

I have been following you for years and I am absolutely tickled pink we have both entered Batman Hyperfixation TM at the same time. <3

Oh god, I'm so glad I'm not alone in falling head-first back into this <3

It's a fixation that comes and goes in cycles for me (Started when I was a kid and my dad used to let me look at his Batman comics from the 40s) but god do I love it.

It's just 70+ years of content for my brain to go feral over.

[noritoshiikamo]

wake up [childe x reader]

im writing childe again as an annual sacrifice to lose on his banner for c5 jean or tighnari also miss manipulative yet sweet little husband childe [continuation of this]

tagging @cheolinn @duskamethyst @crashed-wing

cw dubcon, manipulative childe, pregnant reader, wee bit of somnophilia, female receiving oral, not so descriptive penetrative sex, mention of breeding kink, stockholm syndromish, homicidal thoughts (childe)

ajax is ridiculous throughout your pregnancy.

you found yourself dodging him ever so often but would it work with your stubborn husband? never. your cold shoulder meant he just had to work a little hard, aggressive with no subtlety. to him, you must just be a little cranky with his busy schedule. serving tsaritsa is might be a priority but for you, he was willing to make an exception.

he’s suffocating.

hovering over you, berating everything you do as if you haven’t been doing this for the past 57 day to be exact. “stop, i’m just pregnant. leave me alone,” you muttered angrily, eyes didn’t even leave the chopping board holding off to the herbs you were about to chop. ajax knew well than to mess with an angry woman holding a knife.

“my love, you are going in your second trimester, you should be resting. what kind of husband am i if i’m not helping my sweet sweet wife.”

you turned around, annoyance was all your face could convey to his nonsense, “well for once, if you would’ve learn to control yourself, i wouldn’t need to be carrying a baby for 9 months.” his laughter echoed the small cottage as you found yourself trapped between the counter, a hard place and your charming husband. his bare hands, sight you rarely seen brushed gently against your cheeks. your tensed body immediately relaxed as if it was trained to respond as such to his touch. “now, now, that wouldn’t be so husbandly of me if i couldn’t get my wife knocked up, wouldn’t i?” his lips brushed your own so lightly but it was your reaction that made the man marveled in excitement. you were reaching for more.

“oh, did my wife miss me?”

you bit your tongue, “shut up and quit bothering me.”

ajax feigned a small pout, fishing for your sympathy as he rested his forehead against yours. his cold eyes were wide with joy, being nuisance to you was his choice of bantering. he missed this dearly, contemplating more sabbatical leaves to spend more time with you. his thumb brushed against your lower lips as his finger hooked under your chin, forcing your gaze up on him. “i told you,” he clicked his tongue, “i will lessen the bothering after our third child. fifth if you want to completely stop, i will definitely shut my mouth.”

he felt something sharp against his chest. looking down, you slammed the knife flat, palm on the handle against where his heart laid. your hand looked so small compared to the knife,“just cook.”

you waddled away, tossing the apron on the counter. you felt his gaze against your body but it was his words that gave you the shivers.

“i’ll still have it, y/n. after our sweet firstborn is out, i will only give you few months of break, and then i’ll breed the second one right back in ya.”

you knew it well that the threat isn’t empty.

it was adorable that 30 minutes later, he found you completely out in the baby room, resting against the nice sofa by the window with a book on your laps. it seemed that the book is reading you and not the other way around. my poor exhausted wife, he thought fondly. he leaned against the door, arms across the chest as his eyes roamed. how could he resist the idea of pumping you full of his child when you look so adorable and cute?

something twitched in him.

his boots creaked heavy against the floor. winter must be brutal on you after years in the land of freedom. you surely missed the sunny breeze against your skin, his finger brushing lightly against your thigh, hiking your dress higher. a soft oh escaped his lips as his eyes widened in excitement. down on both knees, his lips planted butterfly kisses along the inside watching as you squirmed and sighed. the book long forgotten, laying on the floor as he ventured deeper. you must have been thinking of how none of your complaints were heard by him. ajax just didn’t think that it would be true; you’re not just gonna be walking around with nothing underneath just because the waistband hurts. he felt sorry for doubting you, apologizing in the way he knew best with a kiss in your mound.

“sorry baby, shh just sleep,” he hushed as he yanked you by the legs forward, spreading your legs further. you whined, drowsy in exhaustion.

he was sorry indeed. with arms both underneath your thighs, holding you in place, he burrowed deeper. on his archon’s name, he couldn’t understand how you could taste this delicious on his tongue. ajax could no longer go for the soft gentle licks, he was ravishing you. when he was not running his tongue along your slit, teasing your throbbing holes with his pointed tongue, he kept his lips latched around the puffy clit. with every whines and sighs, he kept his grips on your soft thighs tighter.

his heart swelled and his cock twitched when his name slipped out of your tongue so gently. even in your dream, he was haunting you. except this wasn’t a dream and ajax was really going to town. he would kill for you to wake up, listening to your sweet begging of no and not here.

he has no sense of patience and politeness.

he would keep you gagged with his cock down your throat underneath the table, pounding you in the corner of the dark alley of the busiest holiday night in town and here he is, trying to fuck you in your newborn’s room. he lives for the lusty fearful eyes of yours as he drives deeper in you. releasing your clit with a soft pop, his fingers went busy around the belt. he was leaking through the light pants, managed only to open it halfway before giving it a quick tug. he never asked, you knew better than to protest what was his. he rubbed the hardened cock against your slit, watching frenzied in lust as your face contorted in pleasure.

“oh, y/n,” he called gleefully, planting kisses on your nose, “you better wake up or you’ll miss it.”

his kissed ticked your. your eyes opened lightly, startled by your husband’s face directly on your face. “miss what?” you asked confusedly. your pretty voice laced in exhaustion and sleep.

ajax smiled gleefully and your heart sank. “fuck, ajax!”your eyes shot opened as he pushed his whole length in. not giving you a single warning, not even easing in slowly, the fucked up blissed look in his face as he was fully sheathed in your cunt. you came just by his penetration, much to his content. your legs beside his figure trembled as you fisted his red shirt. “fucking warn me first,” you cried, his hungrily lips reached your own. you tasted yourself, face flushing violently as you realised what had happen. your eyed rolled back at the feeling of his tongue brushing against your own. “hm, what about warning me first if you decide to walk around without a panties? what if someone see it? they’ll take advantage of my sweet pregnant wife,” he mocked, withdrawing his hips back and slamming forward, “my poor helpless wife, can’t have people know that they got the tightest cunt in town, can’t i?” you threw your head back in pleasure, tears pooling in your eyes from pain turned into a pleasure down your cheeks. he occupied your neck, lapping and biting your skin. sucking until marks formed where your heart pounded heavily underneath his tongue. until he was satisfied, until his hands took over around the column to bring your eyes back to his.

“don’t. do. it. again,” he hissed, emphasizing each words with the harsh thrust into your cunt, “not when i’m not around. or i will kill anyone who sets their eyes on you. don’t tell me you got off to the thoughts of me killing someone for you, my wife?”

his hips slowed down and you immediately shook your head, tongue building courage to mutter no. you watched as his face softened immediately, happily kissing you with his hips snapping harsh enough you could feel your second coming. he knew it. with the way you were breathing heavily, acting so obediently with his ridiculous orders and the pussy tightening against his cock, you were about to cum. “a-ajax! i can’t,” you whined, gasping for air he knocked out with every fucks. “s-slow down please.” your feet pressed against his side, struggling to slow his pace.

“sorry baby, i want you to cum on my cock. not even a chance,” he chuckled, lapping on the salty droplet against your cheeks, “come on baby, you’re tightening around my cock, give it in.” your cries echoed the small room, sofa creaked against the wooden floor taking the brunt of his harsh thrusts. your dress was like a thin paper shredded, exposing your bare skin he yearned the most. lapping hungrily on your sensitive, hardened bud. with every gaze of his fangs, you cursed him in your mother tongue. it could only make him more feral. you could feel his pelvic grinding against yours.

ajax is attractive when he’s about to cum.

his daze was feral yet soft, glistening with lust. his soft locks stick to his face and every time it became troublesome, he pushed it back. you couldn’t help the stare to count the speckles of freckles that kissed his face and wondered how many times had his past lover kissed him there. was it you? his face softened when your fingers rested itself against his face. he enjoyed it. his smile grew wider and so did the wrinkles around the corner of his eyes. “someone’s staring,” he teased, almost panting the words out of breath. you didn’t say anything, brushing a line you were certain once was a bleeding scar you nursed to heal.

he ruined your life, dragged you back here and imprisoned you but how can you hate him? deep inside you, you knew you made him mad. you drove him away and now his child grew in your womb and your found it more of a bliss than a punishment. your body tensed, nails dug deep in his shoulder blade. you didn’t make a sound, holding your breath. you came again but it almost feel like an out of body experience.

“y/n, come back to me,” his raspy voice against your ears startled you. you didn’t realise how you end up on his laps, on the floor arms tight around him with his hips were more forgiving this time. ajax breathed a sigh of relief, “there you are. wow, you’re so easy to break there, sweetheart, i thought i lost ya for a sec.” his eyes search your face, flushed and full of bliss. “do you want me to stop?” he asked, brushing your drool away, cleaning your face with concern.

“you didn’t finish,” you mumbled, confusion etched on your face.

“i don’t have too, are you okay?”

you pushed him off, watching as his soft ginger locks splayed on the floor. his brows jolted up in surprise, “y/n,” he warned, holding you up by the waist. a soft curse escaped his lips as he felt the walls tightening against his length. you love it, the way your name escaped his tongue. his moans echoed the room now as your hips moved. his cries and the way his grips tightened against your flesh every time your hips snapped up and down. he was getting sensitive, eager to finish, his hips moving upward to match your pace. his hand, it roamed. holding on to your arm, grabbing a handful of your growing breast but when he finally came, it sat against your growing belly. you gasped, feeling overwhelmed and full as he painted your inside wide, not a single drop wasted.

the room was quieter now. you both sat attached, struggling to catch the breath you knocked out of each other. you watched as his fingers trembled around the buttons. he shed the shirt off before sitting up, carefully wrapping you in his warm shirt. you said nothing, letting him rest your head against his chest. you listened to his rapid heart pounded, his fingers brushing your back with every breath you took you swore his heart skipped a beat. you sat there long before he kissed your forehead and sat you back on the sofa.

“stay here, let me grab you some clean clothes and something to clean you up.”

you yawned, shrugging nonchalantly, “nothing with waistbands, no underwear.”

ajax beamed in excitement, his smirk grew wider as he watched your face flushed warmer, “oh, trust me, you are not wearing anything after that.”

© all content belongs to noritoshiikamo. do not modify or repost.

[bradshawswife]

Please can you do and imagine loosely based off the song Honky Tonk Badonkadonk by Trace Adkin for a Hangman x y/n imagine because this song is SO him! And i can just see a y/n waitress having to deal with a cocky drunk Jake trying to impress her all the whilst he’s singing this at the top of his lungs for the attention from the reader and others around him, bonus points if his friends back him up too 😂 i love your writing and if you manage to do this i hope it’s fun to write!

HAHAH i love this idea. I hope I did it justice!

Drunk Flirting. J.S

warnings: jake being jake, drunk idiots, country music, suggestive themes (i guess?)

a/n: this was so fucking funny to write. i was constantly laughing my ass off. i must say, basing a one shot on a song is a bit difficult, but i hope i did it right. (i left some of the lyrics out, as they didnt make sense for the fic lol)

While working at The Hard Deck, Y/N was used to arrogant, drunk Naval Aviators, making passes at her. She was very used to Jake “Hangman” Seresin hitting her up every time he stepped foot into The Hard Deck.

Today, after a long day of training, Hangman and his friends made their way into The Hard Deck. While Rooster, Phoenix, and Bob made their way to the pool table, Hangman made his way over to flirt with Y/N, as he usually did.

"Hey sweet girl, can I get 4 beers please" he smirks at you.

Today, you're wearing shorts with a graphic tee tucked into them. Your shorts are on the shorter side, and as much as Hangman wants to think you did this for him, it was simply laundry day for you.

You make your way to the other side of the bar to fill up 4 beers, when Hangman whistles at you. "Are you wearing those for me? Those are some of the shortest shorts I've ever seen." he beamed.

"Yes, Jake. I am 100% wearing these shorts just for you." you laugh, sarcastically, shoving the 4 beers towards him. "Thanks sweetheart" he grinned, turning around and promptly stopped before swinging back around, "they look really good on you, Y/N". he exclaims while throwing a wink at you.

Hustlers shootin' eight ball Throwin' darts at the wall

Rolling your eyes, you watch as the friend group played pool and threw darts occasionally.

A few hours pass by, after many beers and some tequila shots, its safe to say Hangman and the crew are good as done, as they're stumbling over each other. She begins to walk over to the friend group, letting them know you're about to close and that they need to find their rides home, when you hear Hangman and his friends break out into song.

"Here she comes, lord help us all" Rooster sings, slurred.

"Poor ole boy, it aint his fault. It's so hard not to stare" Bob (you're shocked) chimes in.

"At that honky tonk badonkadonk" Hangman screams, staring you up and down. You're so beyond confused at this point and just start laughing to hide your embarrassment as a few bar stragglers have now gathered around you to watch as this drunken friend group is singing the most absurd country song ever.

Your face turns bright red as Hangman grabs your hand and twirls you around.

"Keepin' perfect rhythm, make ya wanna swing along" Phoenix adds in, laughing in between words. Yea, she's extra drunk.

"Got it goin' on, like Donkey Kong" Bob laughs at your bright red face. You're used to only Hangman making passes at you in his friend group, so this whole scene is totally out of the ordinary.

"And whoo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma, there oughta be a law, get the Sheriff on the phone" Rooster laughs, staring at you as you begin to walk away, just beyond embarrassed. You want to go hide in the storage closet until this all blows over. Rooster stands up and drunkenly strides over to stop you.

"Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on that honky tonk badonkadonk" Hangman slurs, giving you a wink. You pull your shorts down a bit more, as if that's going to help anything. Your face is basically the colour of a tomato, and you've never been this flustered at Jakes shenanigans, but today is different.

"Now Honey, you can't blame her" Phoenix sings, smiling as Rooster moves you closer to the group, after you just accepted the fact that they're not going to shut up.

"For what her mama gave her. It ain't right to hate her" Bob smiles, giving you a wink (wow this is totally out of character for bob)

"For workin' that money-maker." Hangman slurs, drunkenly stumbling over to pull you over to the bar.

"We hate to see her go, but love to watch her leave" Rooster yells as you and Hangman make your way to the bar.

Finally, the song seems to end. Your face looks like you've spent all day in the sun. You're nearly shaking as Hangman takes your hand.

"I hope you enjoyed that sweetheart, i love that song" he grins, as you roll your eyes.

"I'm very used to your antics, Jake. I was shocked the rest of your friends chimed in." you sigh. Jake just continues to stare at you, with puppy dog eyes.

"Can I finally take you out?" you chuckle as he says that, like you can't believe he'd have the audacity to push further after THAT.

"You're way too drunk right now. Lets get you and your friends in a cab, and maybe you can ask me next time." you grunt, trying to hold up Hangman as you lead him and his friends out to the cab.

[danses-with-dogmeat]

Hey I love your blog! If it isn’t too much trouble, could you do one of the companions reacting to Sole getting an unsolicited dick pic?

FO4 Companions React to Sole Receiving an Unsolicited Dick Pic

So I know the ask said one of the companions, but I just did 'em all cuz I got carried away (as I always seem to). This was definitely an interesting one to think about, and suuuuper fun to write. Thanks for the ask!

I ended up doing a little scenario at the top that'll apply to all of the reactions, and just kind of give context for the fateful event to take place (since phones/the internet aren't really a canon element in FO, I put this scenario together instead.)

Given the nature of this ask, there's a just bit of NSFW under the cut!

Sole had woken up like any other day. Heading down the stairs of their Diamond City home to make breakfast, trying to be quiet in order to keep from disturbing their companion in the other room. However, as they passed their front door, they noticed something peeking out of the mail slot.

The paper isn't meant to come out until tomorrow...

Curious, Sole reached for the little white square of photo paper, and noticed some writing in the corner. There was an address and the words, "if you like what you see, meet me here tonight," accompanied by a little arrow pointing to flip the photo over. Their intrigue got the better of them, and Sole did as the writing suggested, turning it over for a brief second before immediately regretting it. They recoiled at the phallic image, their surprise evident in the small yelp they uttered in response to the sight before them.

They heard their companion stir from the other room, and then their footsteps sounded from behind as they approached questioningly.

"What have you got there?" They asked.

"Oh, it's nothing," Sole said, turning to face them, "just some mail, is all." Sole's words dripped with distaste, and yet... they felt an overwhelming need to share their unsightly discovery with the person in front of them.

"Wanna see?" They asked, mercilessly turning the picture so their companion could clearly make out the offensive image.

Cait:

*scoffs*

"What, they think that's somethin' te brag about? The damn thing's so wee, I almost couldn't make it out." She'd say with a smile, offering up her hand so she could take the picture and tear it in half. Cait effectively would make the decision for her companion in regards to the comment on the back of the photo. She knows this type of man, and she'd be sure that Sole wouldn't be meeting the asshole anywhere tonight. However, should she be able to sneak away while Sole is sleeping... Cait might just pay a visit to the specified location, where she'd surely give that asshole a piece of her mind, and at least one taste of her fist.

Curie:

Her eyebrows would furrow, and the synth would cock her head to the side in her confusion. Being locked away in a vault with three men for so many years, acting as their doctor, meant she had seen her fair share of the male sex organ. But now, Curie was confused, why did this man feel the need to send Sole a photograph of his penis? Was there something wrong with it? Did he want them to examine it? Sole was not a doctor...

"Why 'ave you received zhis, madame/monsieur? What does zhis man want from you?"

Once Sole explained, Curie would be quite upset by the concept.

"But... you did not ask for zhis, did not want it, and yet, he sent it anyway. Why would you want to meet someone like zhat? It seems very rude to me." She's still confused about it, and may ask a few more questions. Has this happened to Sole before? Does it happen often? Does anyone actually like to see such things when they are unprompted like this? If not, then why do these men continue to do it?

The scientist just wants answers.

Danse:

The soldier would physically recoil at the sight of the photograph, eyebrows raised high as he took in the image, before jerking his head and eyes away from Sole and the picture altogether.

"That-- that is highly inappropriate and an overwhelmingly vile display." He would say once he recovered from his initial shock, still refusing to look back towards Sole, "I suggest you dispose of that filth immediately. Why anyone would reveal themselves in such an unceremonious fashion is beyond me. You would do well to forget such graphic imagery. I know that I will certainly try."

He wouldn't even entertain the idea that Sole would go through with meeting the man behind the picture, but in the off chance that they decided to tell him they wanted to, Danse would spend the remainder of the day convincing them otherwise. He would almost be tempted to go to the location himself in order to lecture the man for his crude and inexcusable behavior, and blatant disrespect to his companion, but in the end, he decides that the man is not worth his time.

Deacon:

Ginger eyebrows would raise slightly over the frames of the glasses for the briefest of moments before he recovered his cool demeanor.

"Ah shoot, did the postman just put it right back into the mail slot? Didn't mean for you to see that, my bad. Here, I'll just deliver it myself."

The sarcasm was evident in his voice as he strode forward and plucked the photo from Sole's hand, examining it for just a moment, and grimacing a bit at the sight.

"Man, Dr. Rich Cockwood does not photograph well. I swear, it's bigger in person." He'd wink at them before glancing down at the picture again, scrutinizing blue eyes pausing to peruse the words on the back as he folded the paper up to put into his pocket. He'd quickly change the subject, trying to keep Sole's mind off the whole thing as he devised a way to sneak out that night and get some intel on the asshole who decided it was a wise idea to put Sole in this position.

Hancock:

*Squints*

"Oh shit. Looks like you've got an admirer there, Sole. " In his sleepy state, it took Hancock a minute to figure out what he was even looking at. Upon realizing that it was, in fact, what he thought it had been, he takes the picture from Sole's grasp and flips it around to glance at the back.

"Look at that, you've even got a date tonight. Must be somewhere romantic, I can tell this guy's old school." He nodded, flipping the photo over to glance once again at the offensive imagery on the front. "Yeah, real traditional, I'd say. Hmm... Mind if I tag along? Could be fun." There was a certain sort of glint in the ghoul's eye that made Sole's spine tingle.

Perhaps neither of us should go... Sole thought, noticing how Hancock's other hand toyed absentmindedly with his combat knife as he furrowed his brows at the photo one last time, before shoving the paper into the pocket of his coat. There was a certain sort of intent behind his actions that made Sole re-think even showing him the image in the first place. Hancock had killed people over less; that, Sole knew for sure.

MacCready:

"Ahh! What the heck are you doing?! I don't need to see that!" He'd squeeze his eyes shut just as soon as he was able to make out the photo, shoving his hands in front of him as though they would be able to push the image out of his mind.

"It's too early for this, what the heck is that guy's problem?" MacCready shuddered as he pulled his hands slowly from where they covered his eyes, glancing quickly at Sole before lowering them down completely, a relieved expression on his face as realized the picture was no longer in his line of sight. Noting his dramatic reaction, Sole considered toying with the mercenary a bit. They asked him what was wrong with the image, stating that perhaps they would pay this man a visit tonight. It had been so long since they had been out on a date, might as well go for it, right?

MacCready's eyes would simultaneously furrow, and widen at their words as he stuttered, finally finding his voice after a moment of shocked, choked silence.

"What?!" He exclaimed, "You're not seriously thinking of going, are you? That guy seems like such an ass-- Well, he just-- I mean..." He took a breath, and Sole had to bite their lip to hold back their grin. "Look, not that it's really any of my business or anything, but... don't you think you could do better than that guy? Like... a lot better?"

Sole couldn't hold back their grin any longer, but MacCready wouldn't meet their gaze. Instead he looked down at the floor, rubbing at the back of his neck with one hand, a nearly unnoticeable blush spreading over his cheeks.

"That guy just seems like a real jerk, and you? Well... Yeah, you deserve better than that, I think." He finished rather awkwardly, finally looking up to meet Sole's gaze before returning their coy smile.

Nick:

The synth would a have a brief moment of raised eyebrows as he took in the details of the photograph, and then the inevitable scowl of disappointment would spread across his face.

"You know, you'd think this guy would understand that no one in their right mind wants to see that particular... angle. You don't think that's his good side, do ya?" Sole would smile a bit at that, and as the synth turned to walk away from the offensive image, they told him about the writing on the back.

"Hey now, wait a minute. You're not thinking of paying this guy a visit, are ya? If so, that's a pretty poor decision on your part, I think."

Sole would shake their head, telling Nick not to worry as he fixed his inquiring yellow gaze on them. He nodded in response, seeming satisfied by their answer. In the next moment, a thought seemed to claim his attention.

"Hmm... I think I might just know the perp, actually. Ellie's got a few reports back at the office mentioning some similar events. Guess it's possibly one of the guards on night duty who goes around with these to see if he gets any takers."

Sole almost spoke up, but as they opened their mouth, Nick's words seemed to take their idea straight from their head. "On second thought..." He said, "You got any plans for this evening?"

Piper:

"Ahh! Blue! Why would you show me that!?" She'd physically cover her eyes with her hands, taking a few steps back and away from the picture for good measure.

"Look, I don't care what you do with it," she'd tell them, "just don't let me see it again!"

Sole would thankfully oblige, but before disposing of the image, they showed Piper the writing on the back. At the sight of the man's suggestion, Piper snatched the photo from Sole's hand, glaring at it furiously.

"Ohhhh no he doesn't. If he's sent crap like this to anybody else, I'm going to make sure no one falls for this."

And Piper kept her word, as the next morning's addition of Publik Occurrences contained a small piece written on exactly this subject, titled: To the Asshole who sent the Sad Little Picture to a Disgusted Citizen; No One Wants to See That! Sincerely, Everyone who has.

Preston:

"O-- oh! Um, that's-- okay. That's just wrong. Do you want me to get rid of it for you?"

Preston's face would wrinkle up in his clear distaste before bringing a a hand up to shield his eyes. When Sole had lowered the picture, he removed his hand, and looked them in the eye, refusing to pay the photo any more attention, but extending his hand out to take it from them so he could dispose of it properly.

"Are you... okay? I can't believe how rude some people are. Who would want to see that?" He'd flash a sympathetic smile at them, as he folded up the photo and prepared to throw it away. He didn't read the back himself, but if they told him about the words that were written there, he wouldn't even entertain the idea of Sole going, just shaking his head in disappointment at the man's poor and rude way of trying in vain to woo his General.

"Some people... The nerve. If you don't mind me saying, General, you deserve much better than that anyway."

X6-88:

His eyes would be locked to Sole's, but as they presented the photo to him, his gaze would fall to the image, and an ever so slight furrowing of his brows would take place above his silver eyes. A brief moment would pass, and X6's gaze would be back on his companion's face.

"Ma'am/ sir, why did you feel the need to show me this?" He's also quite confused, this was not a common occurrence in the Institute, and once Sole gave him an explanation, his expression would remain blank. For the most part, anyway. A small huff of laughter would escape him, prompting Sole to be the one giving him the questioning look now.

"If this filthy wastelander believes he can disrespect the future director of the Institute without facing consequences, he is sorely mistaken." He said, his gaze unbroken as he made Sole this promise, "Don't worry, I will take care of this filth at the specified meeting time and location. You will not hear from him again."

He doesn't necessarily intend to kill the man for his unseemly behavior; X6 is a courser after all, and he knew this man would be scared shitless if X6 were to so much as look at him the wrong way, but should the man make any... poor decisions in response to the courser's confrontation, well... certainly X6 can't be held responsible for the behavior, or the fate, of a mere stranger now, could he? Especially after his heinous actions.

[ageless-aislynn]

*snort* Okay, so I can’t speak about Mass Effect OT and I know you’re not a fan of Andromeda but... I do have 300 hours in on Andromeda now and I adore it. Does it have the occasional really wonky facial animation? Oh yeah. (Apparently the Frostbite engine it was built on turned out to be good at environments and lousy at faces. Then it was too late to build a whole new engine because they were already running super behind or something and so they just kinda... hoped for the best? 🤷‍♀️ That’s my Incredibly (not)Knowledgeable™ take on it, anyway, lol. Unfortunately, it just sometimes goes I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE LIGHT SHOULD BE OR WHAT A SKIN TEXTURE IS and I’ve learned to say, “Aww, Frostbite, I can see an effort was made here, my poor dude” and otherwise ignore it, lol.)

Anyway, that said, I have a list 10 miles long of all of the OT romances I want to playthrough but the fact that you need to play 3 games to accomplish that is intimidating me a bit. Andromeda being self-contained in one game is definitely a plus for me.

Another plus...

I frickin’ love, love, LOOOOOVE Reyes and the only downside to his romance is there’s not more of it, IMO! 😍 I am, of course, a sucker for a good scoundrel, so that puts him right up my alley. 😇

I, um, also am planning on doing at least one Halo/ME vid because yes.

Probably not going to try to write them because ME has a breadth and depth of lore that is only equaled by Halo, I’d wager, and I don’t even have a proper grasp of game!Halo to write it so I’d never try to cram both of them into my wee little brain space at the same time.

In conclusion... Well, ultimately only you can decide whether or not to play them. At least you already have them and you’ve got Mr there to provide tactical support 😂😉 so to me it would be worth it to give it a try. After all, if you’re not enjoying it, you can just walk away and that’s that, right?

(And depending on what you don’t like about Andromeda, maybe consider giving it a try? If it’s just the wonky animation, you might get used to it. If it’s something else, like something you hate or find triggering story/character/etc-wise, then obviously don’t. 😉)

Annnnd now I must go, my people need me. *summons the AU Party ‘hog*

*gigglesnort* 🤣

Sometimes I think I should play Mass Effect just so I can read all the ME/Halo crossovers.

NOBODY REBLOG OR REPLY ENCOURAGING ME THIS WOULD NOT BE A GOOD IDEA

[celemee]

.....please design an over the top Finnish character for Dragon Age. Please. A list of details or a drawing, or drabble. Anything.

OH MY GOD???? Enter Raimo Häkkinen, a modern man thrown into Kirkwall.

For @dadrunkwriting

-----

Finland has won the World Championship in ice hockey. Again. It was no surprise to Raimo, who's had a lifelong passion for the game; he could tell this year's team had a real chance. Of course, it didn't need to be a surprise; he'd celebrated until the wee hours of the morning... a decision he kind of regrets now as he opens his bleary eyes.

...häh?

He's woken up in some pretty weird places before, but this room takes the cake. This place makes his grandmother's cabin in the woods of Lappeenranta look downright modern. The morning light is spilling out of the windows, which is nice, cos he can't for the life of him find a light switch in the room. Just a lonesome stub of a candle.

He locates his Suomi-scarf, however, and that's the important thing. How else would he display his love of the game?

Reaching for it and taking a seat at the edge of the bed, he waits out the spinning in his head and heads outside. Taking a little bit of support from the wall, he carefully advances in the corridor.

The clinking of glasses reaches his ears. Well, that's a sound he knows. This must be a bar of sorts.

When he finally reaches the stairs, a weird sight greets him. There's people, but they're... different. One guy sitting next to a fireplace with writing equipment seems really short. Really, really short. Some folks have elongated ears and weirdly slim bodies.

Oh no... he must be in Sweden.

"SUOMI!" he bellows out in support of the Finnish hockey team, knowing it'll irk the pesky Swedes, but gains weirded-out looks instead. To rub salt on their wounds, he adds; "Den glider in!"

Yes, it's a joke from the 90s — the Finns stealing the Swedish pre-recorded celebration song that the poor bastards never got to use, because they lost to Finland, hah! — but most of the patrons look old enough to remember.

It doesn't get the expected result, however. Raimo clears his throat and descends the stairs, unerringly finding the counter. He orders a pint with his best approximation of English, and while the bartender doesn't look like he understands, he serves Raimo anyway.

No harm in celebrating a bit longer. It's only a once-a-year thing, anyway.

A very fine-looking and scantily clad woman enters the building, taking her place close to Raimo.

"Laitappa yks tolle likallekin," Raimo tells the bartender, only afterwards realising it came out in Finnish. "One for the girl," he explains, pointing at his own pint and then at the girl.

"Isabela. And I'm perfectly fine paying for my own drink."

That was a lot of words... Raimo tilts his head at the lady, trying to piece it all together. Somehow, he manages, and soon enough he's telling her all about the final game that took place last night. She admits to knowing nothing about it, but humours him and keeps the conversation going, even if the guy's accent is hard to understand.

Perhaps it's the fact that Raimo isn't an actual arsehole, or perhaps it's because he's a weird little guy who seems pretty lost, Isabela offers him a deckhand position on her ship.

Raimo accepts gleefully, even if it means he has to work with Swedish sailors. His grandmother always said he should go out and see the world while he's still young and he's pretty sure this counts.

Besides, it's a full year until the next Championship. He's in no rush to leave.

[spideyspeaches]

Sweet child ‘o mine ↬ a.r

sweet smily babie

A/N: Requests are open btw! I love writing Arvin and I don’t have any arvin requests so you can request for arvin btw :) 

Request by @kelieah​ : okay okay. let's get to it hehe. arvin right? oh my god you should write a dad!arvin 🥺🥺🥺 and reader is pregnant but he's like super protective and lowkey a wreck bc he doesn't know what he's doing? and reader is probably really close to popping the baby? up to you, can't wait to see what you write! :)

Kk so I went a little overboard with the fluff XD 

WC: 1.3k+ 

Pairing: Dad!Arvin Russell x Pregnant!Reader

Masterlist || Taglist 

Arvin was a protector by nature. He protected all the people he loved, whether it be his late sister, or his girlfriend, now wife and a mother of two. Before you had your first child, Arvin would constantly hover around you till it annoyed you to the point where you would sleep in a separate room.

("Hun don't lift those! You'll hurt the baby!" Arvin shrieked, rushing towards you as you held the shopping bag in your hand with an amused and angry expression. 

You were nearly six weeks pregnant, nowhere near your due date, and yet here you were.

"Arvin, this is one single shopping bag."

"Yes but you shouldn't! I saw what happened to the neighbour's wife when she tried to lift 'er bed!" 

"Arvin…" you said, tapping your foot impatiently, dropping the shopping bag near your couch.

He was looking at you with a worried expression. You didn't give him time to answer, instead pulling him for a deep kiss. 

And what if you were with a child? You were still horny and he was right there looking like a snack.) 

You found the protectiveness endearing, especially watching his gruff exterior cut through like a knife. But you were pregnant and you were grumpy, sick of his overbearing attitude and had finally asked him to leave you alone for two seconds, maybe have a cigarette or two. The poor guy had looked heartbroken that day, just enough for guilt to brew in your heart, but you stood your ground. 

That day also happened to be the day your first child, Willy, was born. You had convinced yourself that you would never witness such a site as of your husband holding your firstborn with utmost care and love radiating through his every pore, bobbing the baby’s little head as he hummed some lullaby, his soft voice lulling your tired form to sleep. 

“Mummy why is daddy walkin’ like that?” Your four year old son asked, looking at you with his daddy’s big doe eyes, making you coo at his adorable expression. 

You were sitting on the couch, nine months with your second child, way past your due date as your son sat besides you, a hand on your rounded belly, smoothing down your dress and “talking” to his brother. You found it cute, already feeling the love the little child was going to get from the second smallest member of the Russell family. 

You watched in amusement as Arvin paced the hallway, burning a hole in the rugs as he ran a hand through his hair, messing them up as he cursed softly. He had been like that from the day your second child was about to arrive, only for them to want to stay a little longer in your belly. 

"Honey you're gonna bear a hole in there." You said, burrowing your brows as he looked at you. He was a wreck, you could see it in how he tried to work two jobs, only to meet you when you were back in bed. 

“Daddy’s a little tense right now hun, he’s… he’s worried why the baby hasn’t come to us yet.” You said, caressing Willy’s head as he snuggled next to you, nodding with a faux serious expression. 

“Maybe the babe feels safer in your belly moma, it must feel very much loved.” He said with a toothy grin, bumping his nose to your bump as you laughed, hugging your little boy closer to you, tickling his sides, He shrieked with laughter as you bent down as much as you could to kiss his forehead.

“Well the little bugger has been kicking moma for a while now, I think he really wants to come, just findin’ it a wee difficult.” You said, hissing as you felt another kick under your ribs. Massaging the area just like the way your midwife had told you to. You sent your son a wink, hoping that he wouldn’t get too scared at your state. He, like his father, was also very protective of you and the baby.

Hissing at another contraction, you tried to do your breathing exercise, groaning at the pain you felt. 

“Daddy! Daddy moma is hurt!” Willy shouted, getting off the couch and running off to where Arvin had been pacing the room.

“No no no hun! Moma is alright, just a little- oh oh Arvin!” You groaned, stretching your husband's name at a painful contraction as you watch him frantically run towards you, stumbling at the carpet and falling on his knees in front of you.

“Hun? Baby speak to me, how far apart are the pains? Do you think it’s time? Should I-”

“Arvin?” You winced, holding your belly.

“Yes honey?”

“Shut the fuck up and do me a favour, get the bag ready will ya?” You said, clenching your jaw as tightly as you could without breaking your teeth, immediately feeling guilty at his crestfallen expression. He was only trying to help you.

“Yes, yes sweetheart, I'll be right back.” He said, scramming to go to your room to get the bag. You knew he had already packed it, unpacked and repacked it multiple times to keep his mind of the calendar. 

“Moma? Are you hurtin’?” You son asked, hearing a sniff. You sighed as you saw tears form in his eyes, running your hands through his hair as he sniffed loudly. 

“No bun, it’s nothing bad, moma’s fine. I swear.” 

“But you’re crying!” He cried out, launching himself on your chest. You sat down with a “oof”, the weight of your son sending you on your back sprawling on the couch.

“Willy! Be careful!” Arvin shouted, pulling your crying son off of you and palming his head as he buried his face into his father’s shoulder, wrapping his little arms around his neck as Arvin cooed at him, trying to shush his muffled cries. 

“It’s gonna be alright bubby, I’m not crying anymore, see?” You gritted, groaning loudly when you felt one resonate to your back, a pop sound startling you enough to widen your eyes.

A breath later, the only thing you could hear was your son’s sniffs and your breathing, the wetness between your thighs amplifying as you gave a loud groan, groping for your husband’s biceps, “It’s happening!” 

“Oh- oh fuck shit, sorry hun, Willy, do daddy a favor and open the car will you? We need to take moma to the hospital.” Arvin instructed your son, who obediently nodded, a determined expression taking over his adorable face as he ran outside. 

“Arvin!”

“Comin’ sweetheart, just a minute!” He grunted, positioning himself by your side, sliding his one hand under your knees and another at your back, You shrieked as he carried you bridal style, your son holding the door open for you.

You would have called the ride torturous had you not heard the shrill cries of your newborn, squishy wet cheeks and scrunched eyes fitted in the palm of your hands a few hours later. Laughing near hysterically, you gently rocked the newly swaddled baby boy in your arms, looking at your husband’s shiny eyes as he carefully touched the baby’s forehead. 

“He’s so tiny.” Arvin whispered, rubbing his thumb on the soft skin, watching in awe as the baby yawned, the little eyes scrunching up as they slowly opened, adjusting around the world in a newfound wonder. 

“He’s perfect.” You smiled, seeing your four year old hiding behind Arvin’s legs, watching you unsure of himself, “Come here bun, want to hold your brother?”

“I can hold him?” He asked, peaking at you through his eyelashes.

“Of course you can son.” Arvin chuckled, lifting the toddler as he sat on your bed, looking at you with wide eyes. 

"Here, hold his head, careful." You whispered, holding one hand on your older son's hands, guiding him to hold his little brother as he looked at the baby in wonder. 

"He's tiny!" Willy said, mimicking you when he saw you holding the baby. 

"You were this tiny too once, son." Arvin said, smiling at you and Willy. 

"No way! I'm a big boy." Willy argued, pouting, which made you and your husband laugh.

"Whatever you say baby."

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 1: Fallen!Cas

In A Fortress of Pine Trees | @mistofstars Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,380 Main Tags/Warnings: Endverse, Croatoan, 2014, 5x04, Smut, bottom!Dean, Angst, Top!Cas Summary: Future!Dean / Future!Castiel "Cas", he finally exhales. "I could need one of your amazing hippie massages right now" -it starts with a simple massage and ends somewhere else; Dean gives in to long neglected needs... DESTIEL in 2014

The Warmth of your skin | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,414 Main Tags/Warnings: Sharing Body Heat, Hurt!Cas, First Kiss, Naked Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, no explicit sex, human!Cas Summary: Dean and Castiel are in the middle of a forest, when a snowstorm surprises them in the middle of the summer. To make their luck perfect, Castiel breaks into the ice of a lake. There is only one way to survive this cold. Body Heat.

Are We Human? | @one-more-offbeat-anthem

Rating: General Word Count: 3,766 Main Tags/Warnings: human!/fallen!Castiel, first kiss, love confessions, pet cats Summary: After losing his grace, Cas struggles with being human. Dean tries to help him out—and in showing the former angel how to find joy in the little things, starts to find joy himself (if he's brave enough to reach for it). And also discovers that maybe cats aren't so bad.

The End Of The Beginning | @vampamber

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,885 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, omega Dean, alpha Cas, endverse, endverse Cas, heat, pwp, S5E4 The End, there's a sequel Summary: He just wished that Zach-y boy had picked a better time. Dean could feel those deep seated aches in his abdomen that could only mean he was a day or so away from his damn heat starting. Hopefully he could learn his little lesson before he had to lock himself away for a few days to keep himself from presenting to every damn alpha in a five mile radius. He usually took suppressants, but dealing with Lucifer had kind of taken front seat just long enough for Dean to miss a few too many doses. “Damn it,” he muttered to himself as he rubbed at his wrists, finally free. He wandered out to see where the hell he was. It was an old summer camp, that much he could tell, but that was about it. But as weird as all this was, as unreal and impossible as it had to be, the most mind blowing part was definitely Cas. Fuzzy, stoned out of his gourd, sex guru to a gathering of betas and omegas Cas. Cas, who smelled so strongly of alpha and everything that Dean had ever wanted that he had to shift himself when the guy wasn't looking to try and hide the quickly growing erection in his pants, praying that he wouldn't slick right through his jeans.

Finally Realized | @vampamber

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,018 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, alpha Cas, omega Dean, Dean in heat, human Cas, first time, porn with plot Summary: Dean is sick in bed, so Sam calls in a now-human Cas to come and take care of the cranky patient while he escapes goes on a hunt. Dean cooperates with Cas, but it just figures, when the cold is finally gone, his heat takes its place. Now denial stops being an options as Dean begs Cas for the thing he's always wanted, but could never admit to.

Sweet Cherry Pie | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,801 Main Tags/Warnings: No archive warnings apply, first kiss, first time, friends to lovers, top dean/bottom cas Summary: Dean takes the newly-human Cas to a diner to try some new foods. Cas wants more than a taste.

Tick Tock Goes The Clock | @vampamber

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,784 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, omega Dean, alpha Cas, human Cas, alcohol as a coping mechanism, implied mpreg, angst, porn with plot, drunken confessions, drunken sex Summary: It was a well known fact that every omega had a metaphorical biological clock ticking away inside of them, just waiting to spring the alarm and make the poor guy or girl go just a wee bit baby crazy. And as much as Dean Winchester tried to deny it, mostly to himself, the one inside him was gonna blow at any second. Even though Dean would never admit it to anybody, especially his brother, he had always felt pretty maternal towards Lisa's son, Ben. He’d always wanted a nice, big family with plenty of pups of his own, ever since he had presented as an omega as a teenager. At least, whenever John hadn't been pressuring him to act like the alpha his dad thought he should've been, that is. It had only gotten worse when Sam presented as a beta, so Dean had shoved that dream so far back in his mind that he completely forgot about it ninety-five percent of the time. That was exactly why the omega knew that his biological clock was gonna kick his ass any day now. Where he used to mostly forget about the idea of having a bunch of pups, it was now taking up the vast majority of his thoughts lately.

I Been Blind | @jemariel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 22,387 Main Tags/Warnings: Human!Cas, porn-watching, masturbation, mutual pining, porn with feelings, suggestion of m/f and m/m/f sex (in porn), oral sex, frottage, anal fingering, suggestion of bottom!Cas. Summary: Castiel is in love with humanity. At least, so long as he's not the one experiencing it. A lighthearted smutty romp wherein Dean helps Cas navigate the tricky minefield of human needs.

Roaming in the Dark (WIP) | @casbelieves

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 24,624 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Explicit Sexual Content, Alternate Universe - Croatoan/Endverse, Bottom!Cas, Top!Dean, Heavy Angst, Smut, Fallen Angels, Apocalypse, Croatoan Virus, Canonverse, Minor Character Death Summary: A reimagined look into how "The End" came to be. Castiel does not return to heaven after he rescues Dean from his stint in an apocalyptical 2014. The brothers don't reunite. The angels do fall. A dangerous and deadly virus spreads worldwide. But, without fail, Castiel follows Dean and, perhaps, that is his only fault.

Room A Thousand Years Wide | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Mature Word Count: 34,921 Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Getting Together, Long-Suffering Sam Winchester Summary: Once the world and their lives are finally their own, and Cas has chosen humanity once and for all, he begins to find a new routine of daily life with Dean. Sam doesn't know how much longer he can take their apparently oblivious platonic domesticity, when their regularly scheduled evening goes out the window with a single text message from someone they never expected to hear from again. Ex-Ghostfacer Ed Zeddmore is afraid he's stumbled over something too big to let slide, and sends them a link to a potentially dangerous Ghostfacer wannabe, and a case that isn't at all what it appears to be on the surface. What they uncover dredges up a lot of interesting feelings all around, and they must finally face a few ghosts of their own.

Empty Spaces | @thisisapaige

Rating: Mature Word Count: 48,411 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, Drug Use, Drug Abuse, Drug Withdrawl, Fallen Castiel, Pre-series Dean, Canonverse, Internalized Biphobia, Slow Burn, Canon-Typical Violence, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort Summary: [Castiel] found the colour. It was a green, one of the few gentle colours at the edges of his dreams and the one he tried to capture in his paintings, never quite finding the right hue. He spent so long chasing the colours, trying to find it though pills and needles, but they always evaded his grasp. Yet he found one, right here, hiding in the eyes of a stranger. He studied the colour, the subtle differences between dark and light, the little flecks of gold nearly hidden in the sea of green, the ring around the outside. He studied it, trying to commit the colour to memory. The other man cleared his throat. “Uh, dude?” Oh. Castiel forgot the colour was attached to a person. ~~~ What if Castiel had fallen before the start of the series and met Dean on a routine hunt? Set in the spring before Dean goes to find Sam in Stanford.

Gates of Bronze and Bars of Iron | iCeDreams (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 80,466 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 9 Divergent, Dean in Heaven Summary: Dean realizes that staying in Heaven and catching endless fish isn't living up to its hype. Especially since the gates of Heaven are still closed and there are no angels to guide you in the hereafter. Castiel is surviving Earth, fallen and human until a reaper brings his attention to a hunt forcing him to seek out his fallen brothers.