#poor holden

[avalordream]

Prompt: Imagine you get isekaied in Our Life. Only thing is that you wake up as a child and remember everything. You can only save at this point but you can still access the save and load menu and see your previous runs.

Meanwhile your precious neighbor is slowly becoming self aware, getting deja vu with every passing second- as if this has all happened before...

A/N: A few days after I posted this- a few other thoughts came to mind- SO HERE IS MY ATTEMPT AT VOCALIZING THEM

You’re keenly aware of how small and tiny you are the moment you wake up. 

For the first few days, you started to acclimate to…the family home. 

It wasn’t YOUR family though. It never was. It was MC’s. Not your’s.

You could project all you wanted onto MC but it was never your family or your life to experience. It was theirs.

Even so, you quickly found yourself missing the life you were used to. More specifically:

The cuisine.

It was hard not to draw suspicion to the fact that you were craving different food genres aside from Mom’s Pamela’s mac and cheese and cheeseburgers. 

Ma’s Noelani’s Hawaiian food helped quite a bit to hold you over as you started to ponder over how to approach it.

Kind of hard to bring it up to your MC’s parents that you wanted Asian/Middle eastern/Indian/Pakistani/Mexican/etc food when there was none of that for miles around

For the time being, you had to quietly hint and nudge their thoughts into that direction but not enough to make them suspicious. Noelani obviously had her suspicions about Cove getting into the house from Step 2-3 but never brought it up once. From what you could tell, she was scary observant

Another issue was how clumsy your new body was.

Your mind might be able to remember how to do everyday tasks like writing and such but this tiny body didn’t have the muscle memory to match it

Much to Liz’s dismay, you spent quite a bit of your time forcing your hands and legs to train to do things your adult body could do in a snap

Time wise- technology was a huge sucker punch. It made you feel bad for taking your own devices for granted. 

That being said, self learning everything was going to be hard without a phone or computer on hand, especially knowing that you’d have to go through the cursed education system all over again- but most likely much harder

There had to be a reason older folk complained about it, right?...

Your MC’s birthday was the same as your own, just that the birth year is 1997. That being said, the current year was 2006… Funny. You were only two in 2006…

…

Back to self learning, you tried to practice what you considered basic math long after everyone had fallen asleep

Usually, your day was filled with entertaining Shiloh and Liz, playing in the park or going along with whatever Liz said. Judging by the giant for sale sign across the street and the date, you figured out that you got isekaied roughly at least a month or two before Cove and Mr. Holden would move in. 

Who knew how that would go now that you weren’t subjected to just three choices?

Even after playing around, your body was exhausted and your baby mind was just as pooped out.

The first few days you would wake up early as children do and tried doing your math and remembering as much as you could at that time

Yeah, Liz nearly gave you a heart attack after she barged in and you had to play it off as you scribbling absolute nonsense cause you were bored

After that near collision, you changed your prep time to being at night. Sure, you woke up to Liz shaking you and not getting enough sleep in the morning, but you needed to refresh your memory the best you could

You couldn’t do it every night though and did your best to keep some sort of schedule so you wouldn’t forget - and worry your MC’s moms

They noticed the first few times of how sleepy you’d be when you’d wake up later than usual - granted if Liz didn’t wake you up - and a few nights after, you nearly got caught right in the middle of your review.

Pam was more sneaky than Noelani, so you should’ve seen this coming- but even so, you had everything spread out on your rug when you just barely heard her footsteps come to your MC’s door

You had enough time to shove everything underneath your bed - your room was messy enough but better safe than sorry - and quickly dive under the covers before you heard your door open with the softest of clicks

She was around for a good while before you heard the door close again but you didn’t relax until you were sure her footsteps went back to the master bedroom

After that, you were much more careful about how long you spent studying and when. You haven’t been caught since.

Occasionally, you’d have to sneak in your MC’s parent’s room to grab any books that you needed. Good thing Noelani was a book nerd.

You did have to be careful about your self learning- you didn’t want them getting any suspicions that their kid was suddenly…different out of nowhere.

You had no idea what MC was like as a kid before the events of Our Life so you tried your best to piece together what you could 

Speaking of, there were a bunch of things you quickly realized about Our Life, one of which is that game didn’t go over nearly everything that MC went through, let alone before Cove came or others that it only touched on briefly

For example, the tourists that came and went every year happened to be close friends of Pamela’s from her time in university, hence why they were so friendly to you and Liz in particular. 

It was also why they knew how to… handle your ever changing moods. At least-

That’s what it looked like to them.

To you- it was because you had to battle MC’s initial responses to these scenarios.

Go figure, this body still had its fair share of emotions inside of it, leaving you to figure out if this sharp pang of fear or worry was your own or not.

It left you second guessing everything you did, especially when you’d be up at night, studying and practicing your writing

It seriously irked you, knowing your writing was sloppy even though you knew this body couldn’t help it. It didn’t make seeing your scrappy writing less frustrating though

Despite how much you tried to hide how YOU felt, not MC, Noelani still picked up on the small shifts in your behavior. 

One of these being the irritation you harbored for your writing. 

Speaking of emotions, you found your body easily overwhelmed by any stronger ones- your own irritation making you cry- an alien feeling and one that took even you by surprise.

Worse part? The first time happened was in front of Noelani when she tried to help you practice your penmanship

Naturally, she tried to comfort you MC by trying to console you, saying it’d be better with practice and wiping away your tears but no matter how YOU tried, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing

It wasn’t until much later that you realized that MC’s tiny self had their own limits and by pushing those adult feelings and expectations that YOU had onto it sent it into a messy overdrive.

After that, you had learned to slow down- the world wasn’t ending…even if it felt like it.

…

The nail in the coffin for you that made YOU cry. Not MC’s body: Your dreams started to resemble parts of your life. 

You’d dream that you were back at your desk job or filling out mundane paperwork but no matter how boring it’d be, it was YOUR life.

The one YOU were used to and familiar with

You’d always feel so relieved to be back where you were supposed to, whether you were happy with that life or not

It was that feeling of having all your choices in your hand and being in control of where you wanted to go, if that made sense.

Nobody made those choices for you except well…you.

Only to have that feeling of familiarity ripped away once you registered Liz waking you up to play while “Ma and Mom snooze the day away!”

…

You just want to go home…

To YOUR home…

-> Next... <-

-> Extras <- ⊹ ‧₊˚ Isekai Self Aware Taglist: @lilqi @annoying-mary @mellozhi ˚₊‧ ⊹

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Sawyer: Hey Byrd, Wre-.. woah, you don’t look so good! Levi: She fainted again. Wren: I DIDN’T! Byrd: She did. Sawyer: Oh, what’s it like? Wren: I don’t know, shitty? Frankie: Hey guys-.. I haven’t seen you in a while! How’ve you been managing, Levi? Levi: Uh.. okay, I guess. Byrd: Robin? Frankie: Fancy some pancakes? [Robin and Levi nodded enthusiastically whilst Wren and Byrd exchanged a brief, pained look] Byrd: Robin! Robin: You can have extra syrup, simmer down. Byrd: It’s not that, I uh-.. I don’t think my wrist is fine, actually. Frankie: What happened? Byrd: I fell. [Frankie gasped as Byrd gingerly rolled up his sleeve, producing his lame, swollen wrist from beneath the table] Robin: Erh-.. okay, maybe it’s not fine. Frankie: Yeah, no-.. he needs to go to the hospital half an hour ago! Robin: Dad’s gonna flip… Frankie: I can call him, is he home-.. or what about your other friend’s dad, he lives closer, right?! Or your mom!! Levi: Frankie, chill! [Robin thrust his phone toward Frankie, not wanting to take the blame for this particular disaster just yet-.. though his father’s distant voice could barely be heard over her exclamation as Wren abruptly vomited all over the side of the booth] Frankie: Oh, gosh-… Sawyer: EWWWWW! Levi: Alright, I’m tapping out. Oscar: Hello? What the hell is going on?

[wassupmygays]

hey guys hey how terrified do you think darry felt post-breakup, seeing paul drinking and angry with his buddies, wondering when or if paul would let their secrets spill.

how fucking terrified do you think darry was when he realized it was a very real possibility for paul to out him to the rest of the socs, which would then spread to the whole town, which would ruin every aspect of darrys life. how horrified do you think that poor kid was

now, i dont think paul would ever do that. 1) it would very quickly out him too, and he is just as afraid in all of this. 2) paul did really really care about darry, he knows how dangerous it is to be what they are, hes not going to try and get darry killed.

but just. think about how scared those two poor poor boys were after losing the one safe space they had in each other. it makes me ill :)

[mikimeiko]

The Expanse | 3x09. Intransigence

[infectioustomfoolery]

who up holding they caulfield?

[specific-dreamer]

plzzz expand on ur peril from pauls pov

i wanted to answer this as soon as i saw it but i had to practice self control and finish my exam but trust ur now my favorite anon <333

under the break actually bc boy am i yappin

they met the first time in 7th grade and paul, was already a little off kilter from the rest of the boys in his grade, he had yet to start being interested girls but his dad says it’s nothing to worry about that it’ll come in time. but then he meets darry and it’s like something clicked. paul doesn’t get it at first but there’s something in him that’s desperate for darry’s attention. despite his best efforts they’re acquaintances at best but the first time darry says hi to him in passing paul as the largest grin on his face for the rest of the day

the start of their friendship is in 8th grade when they’re at football tryouts. funnily enough they didn’t become friends over football but over late math homework. during their 15 minute break, paul had been struggling and on the verge of ripping his hair out and darry came over took one look at the assignment and said it was easy as hell. if it had been anyone else paul would’ve fought them right then and there, but it was darry. and instead his cheeks reddened and his stomach started doing the same flips it always does when he’s embarrassed himself. against his better judgment he asks darry for help if he’s so smart and somehow they blow through the hw with 5 minutes of their break to spare.

it’s in 9th grade when paul realizes people don’t usually get so giddy at the thought of their best friend. he realizes this when darry offhandedly asks if he wants to go to their schools winter formal together since neither of them had dates. it’s the quickness of which he says yes that paul thinks to himself that maybe something isn’t right. that maybe there's a reason he hadnt already asked a girl out to the formal. he pushes the thought away just as quickly though because it’s their last yr of middle school and they need to get ready for their high school football team tryouts

everything clicks for paul in 10th grade. it’s their first year of high school and paul just got the keys to his car and his dad asks where he was gonna go first. the expected answer (the answer paul gives) would be to pick up beverly and go to the drive in. instead the first thing he thinks of is picking up darry so he could see the excited gleam in his eyes (a look paul just simply adores and wouldn't mind seeing for the rest of his life) and then the two would go for what would be the start of many joyrides. that’s when it clicks for paul. the other guys his age all had girls to pick up when they first got their cars. they were all excited to take their girls to the drive in or even to the top of some hill for privacy. their girl was always their first thought. but paul’s was of darry. paul's first thought was always of darry. paul is in tenth grade when he realizes he has a crush on his best friend (he does not go driving the same day he gets his keys, instead he goes in his room and sobs)

(he sobs at the realization that it’s not normal to get so excited at your best friends laugh. it’s not normal to be 16 and have yet to bring a girl home as more than a friend. it’s not normal that his favorite part of the week is when he and darry have sleepovers and get to bare their souls to each other from the comfort of paul’s locked bedroom door. it’s not normal for his stomach to do flips when darry grabs the wrong shirt the morning after their sleepovers. its not normal for him to hope darry doesnt realize it the wrong shirt, so he can darry his clothes more often. it’s not normal for his palms to get a little sweaty when darry sits too close. its not normal for his chest to get tight whenever darry leans over to whisper something. it’s not entirely normal for paul to immediately look for darry’s approval after he scores a goal or to immediately look for darry in a crowded room. it’s not normal that they hug more often than the other guys he knows. it’s not normal that almost every waking thought he has is of darry and when he'll see him next.)

it’s in eleventh grade that paul realizes he’s in love with darry. that he probably has been this whole time. the feeling clicks when they’re on one of their joyrides to just outside of tulsa. paul realizes he’s in an absolute, pure, and wholesome kind of love (like the kind of love that’s mentioned in all of darry’s favorite songs) when darry’s standing in the passenger seat and the wind ruffles his hair. he realizes he’s in love when he can’t take his eyes off of darry because the sun beaming just behind darry kind of looks like a halo and that must mean darry’s an angel. and paul can’t think of anything truer because darry could very well be an angel. he’s beautiful and handsome and kind and amazing and just overall perfect, a kind of perfect that's rare in tulsa, just like an angel would be. paul can’t seem to tear his eyes away from darry until the car swerves and darry nearly falls (paul makes a point to hold darry’s ankle whenever he stands up from then on).

paul’s in 12th grade and just 1 hour away from graduating when he gets his heart broken.

[ilianazzzfanofblogs]

I was bored at school so I tried to draw Michael Holden. What tf is that. help ...

[wendig1rl]

"It's then that I decide to tell him. I don't know why this happens, but I get this urge. My brain gives up. I can't hold on to it.

Tori spring - solitaire

[poormansmeridian]

Safi mauling their Judge Holden doll,, Personal Telegram sticker.

Alternate જ⁀➴

[that0nebird]

Hey guys today I made some fanart of Cove B. Holden from hit indie game our life beginnings and always out of Whirlm and Taffly of viva piñata fame.

(Secret Whirlm varient 4: Cove [Pinata must consume 1 surfer.])

[poormm]

Something I threw together real quick; a design idea for his build I made a while ago. He’s around 330 lbs so… perhaps I should make him a tad bigger? Im not quite sure, as long as his design translates well that’s all that matters to me.

[caitlynshexstrap]

! also, if you want hyper-specific, my commissions are still open! dm for rates

[rebouks]

Previous // Next

Sawyer: Can I say hi to Pixie? Frankie: We don’t really have time, sweetie. Sawyer: Pleeeeease? I’ve been bored all morning, I wanna play! Frankie: Five minutes. Sawyer: Ten? Frankie: No more! … Frankie: Hi. Ivan: Y’alright? Frankie: I hope I’m not interrupting-.. I won’t be here long. Ivan: Reading is just my excuse not t’get wet. Frankie: That’s usually my go to as well. [Frankie laughed at her own joke for a split second before deciding it wasn’t actually even funny-.. nor a joke] Ivan: Summer holidays are as much a pain as they are fun, eh? Frankie: Yeah.. luckily, neither job minds me bringing him along. Ivan: Y’got two jobs? Frankie: Yeah. Ivan: That sounds rough-.. where else d’ya work? Frankie: Nowhere exciting. What do you do? Ivan: I’m a mechanical engineer-.. sounds fancier than it is though. Frankie: Ah! Good time keeping skills, mister. Sawyer: Did you just say you were a mechanic?! Ivan: Aye, kinda. Frankie: Sawyer-… Sawyer: Can you fix our truck? Frankie: Don’t be so rude. Ivan: [laughs] Don’t sweat it. Sawyer: Pleeeeease? You won’t let dad fix it and I’m tired of walking all the time-.. my feet hurt. Ivan: I could, if y’wanted? Frankie: No, it’s fine. Sawyer: MOOOM! [Frankie hesitated, glancing between Ivan and Sawyer] Ivan: I honestly don’t mind-.. s’your call though. Frankie: Uh, yeah.. okay.

[imyoursoftfuzzymann]

I think I draw him too much 😖

[mikimeiko]

The Expanse | 3x13. Abaddon's Gate

[igbeh]

Igby Goes Down + boyhood (birth day)