#and it is indeed better than being around his own dad
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Frankie: I’m pregnant, not infirm. Ivan: [laughs] Shut up n’ gimmie! Sawyer: Ugh, they’re so annoying. Pixie: Would you rather be moving back in with YOUR dad? Sawyer: I think I’d like to live alone… Pixie: Oh, boo.
#ts4#sims 4#simblr#ts4 story#sims story#forever in between#fib#ivan harper#pixie harper#francesca holden#sawyer holden#ffgjfkj#poor sawyer likes his space and idk how much of it he's gonna get from now on 😳#still.. he likes ivan and i'm sure he secretly enjoys seeing his mom so happy#and it is indeed better than being around his own dad
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⠀⠀ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. a relaxing day at the beach w/ toji ‘n little megumi, accompanied by their usual bickering and precious moments
tags. dad!toji x wife!female reader. fluff. honestly just the beach episode toji deserves w his family t_t not proof read!
the beach is a beautiful place to rest after a tough week. toji lays on the towel besides yours, bulky arms resting behind his head as he enjoyed the gentle breeze, the smell of the sea mixed with his wife’s perfume.
the peace is quickly disturbed when he feels a small fist claw at his mouth.
“‘gumi, don’t feed papa sand,” your muffled laughter echoes through the busy beach. you watch your husband attempt to fight off megumi’s tiny hands as they pry his lips apart.
toji grunts and moves his head multiple times, but the toddler is determined to get what he wants. “brat—” the dark-haired man scoffs while his hands wrap around megumi’s torso, lifting the little boy in the air as his final resort, “what’s this all ‘bout? wanna kill y’r daddy or sum?”
your son pouts and furrows his brows. “no, i made papa food. burger,” he defends himself and kicks his legs while being held up at arms length. megumi’s tiny fist full of sand manages to reach his father’s lips again, “now papa eat!”
toji lifts megumi up higher, as far away from his face as possible. he takes a second before realising that he indeed had made a request for a burger just moments ago, when his son asked him what he should make out of the sand.
toji totally forgot to play along with megumi’s pretend restaurant game, thinking the boy would halfway forget about it anyway. children’s attention spans are short after all.
seems like his kid is an exception.
“i ain’t eatin’ shit, boy,” toji grunts and turns megumi away, putting the boy back down in the sand between the two beach towels. you’re about to reprimand your husband for his behaviour before your child interrupts.
“this not poo poo!” megumi jabs a finger at his father’s chest, his voice a bit louder. he’s taken great offence to the comment about his imaginary burger, which was now but a cluster of sand particles.
toji snorts and gently flicks megumi’s hand away, “yeah, it is. bet it tastes like ‘poo poo’ too.”
“no! not poo poo!” megumi’s voice rings out before a frustrated whine leaves his lips. his little hands land on toji’s abs, physically punishing him for saying such mean stuff about his hard handiwork.
your husband sticks his tongue out childishly at his sulking son. “‘yes! yes ‘tis poo poo!’ keheh,” toji mocks megumi’s high voice, snorting as he laughs about his own joke afterwards.
the father-son duo bicker for a few more seconds before you sigh and speak up. “can you two just get along for once now? we’re in public, so behave,” you scold them as their voices seemed to get louder. you then glare at your immature husband. he could be such a man-child when it came to arguing with his son, “and you— you’re an adult, so act like one.”
the two of them instantly shut up and their heads turn towards you, their hands that were wrestling with each other also stopping mid-air. megumi pouts and stops attacking his father with his tiny fists. the little boy knows better than to not listen to his mother.
in turn, toji huffs and grumbles something under his breath before grabbing his son to make it up to him.
neither does the grown man dare to defy his wife’s demands.
“yeah, yeah. c’mere, son,” toji responds and places the toddler on his chest, letting the kid rest against him. megumi surprisingly doesn’t pull away and instead curls up in toji’s warm embrace. as much as the two love to (playfully) fight, they also get along extremely well.
you smile and relax back on the palms of your hands. “much better,” you hum in content. your heart swells with affection for your two favorite people on earth. megumi is a carbon copy of his father and it’s the cutest little thing ever.
they both have that subtle pout on their lips as they accommodate to being close and cozy with each other again.
toji runs his callused fingers through megumi’s hair, sighing as he closes his eyes. he doesn’t admit it out loud, but he cares for his kid. if he had to make a choice between either saving his own life or megumi’s, toji’d instantly draw his last breath.
“he’s still a brat,” your husband grumbles to you, sharp eyes watching the way you coddle and coo over the toddler. megumi’s chubby cheek is smushed against toji’s chest and it was an adorable sight. you giggle and capture it on your phone.
toji scoffs, but can’t help the grin tugging at the corner of his scarred lips. he gently rubs the child’s cheek with his knuckles before continuing, “but he’s my brat. ain’t that right, boy?”
megumi lets out a small, soft grunt at his father’s words. the kid is completely silent, content with the way things had played out. perhaps this is what he secretly searched for as well— to receive toji’s attention and a glimpse of his affection.
“aww, how cute!” your smile is beaming as you snap another picture of your family. toji’s soft look is perfectly captured on your phone, with him gently touching megumi’s chubby cheek as the boy laid on his bare chest. pure domestic bliss.
you sigh and look away for one second to change the lockscreen on your phone. humming, you go to your settings and instantly put the picture of your husband and son as your wallpaper on nearly everything.
you tilt your head back only to find toji grinning from ear to ear now, going from gently rubbing megumi’s cheek to full out squishing them between both his hands, amused at the way the fat moves. “kehehe, look at ‘em,” he chuckles.
the little toddler eventually gets fed up with it after squirming and grunting. megumi brings his little fist up—the same one that still had some sand stored from before—and lets the content fly all over toji’s face.
megumi giggles and scrambles off toji’s lap with a victorious grin. he points at his father who’s struggling with getting the sand off his face, the man sputtering and grumbling. he sticks his tongue out, “tha’s papa’s burger.”
you watch as your son waddles over to you and hides into your arms, muffled laughter echoing in your ears. seems like megumi won the battle in the end; successfully holding onto the sand he was planning to feed his dad one way or another.
toji spits out a bit of sand that flew into his mouth from the kid’s surprise attack, “you little shit—”
well, there goes the peace again. you shake your head, but let the two play and fight it out on their own.
. . . just another day in the fushiguro family.
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#toji x reader#jjk fluff#toji fluff#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#toji x you#toji x y/n#jjk x female reader#toji x female reader
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Flower 3
Hi my loves! I am so excited to give you guys an update on our flower petals. Don’t kick my ass for the ending xoxox
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WC- 5.3k
Warnings - talk of kink, mega sexual tension, daddy kink if you squint really hard hehe
Her head was still dizzy even after sitting in the front seat and letting him out the bags in the back. She did her job as good passenger and placed the coffees in each cup holder, but she was spinning. Her hand still tingling and warm from how he held it through the parking lot like it was common practice, like he was her boyfriend.
Would he want to be?
He’d already said he didn’t do hook ups. Gia had pointed out that he wasn’t normal around her and Sarah had agreed. Fuck, he just spent over two hundred on her and didn’t bat an eye. Maybe he did, and maybe she was itching to find out what sort of questions he’d want to ask.
Weirdly, she wanted him to cross lines. He was always so polite and sweet, despite his dirty jokes at times when he was tipsy. With her, he was usually the poster child of a gentleman. He took care of her and did all sort of sweet things to her, leaving no question about if he cared about her or not. . The words he had said on the car ride here about a guy being sweet out in public and a freak in the sheets echoed around her head as he climbed into his seat, making the thoughts start to dissipate.
“Aren’t you jus’ the best little passenger princess.” He snickered, putting the keys into the ignition. Her eyes tried to ignore the way the little smirk on his face bade her stomach buzz, but it was a hard thing to look past.
“I could have spit in your coffee. You never know.” Her tease was met by him picking up the cup, looking her dead in the eye as he took a sip. Oh. Well then. “You sicko.”
“Maybe.” He shrugged his seatbelt on after his little display. “But turning the radio on doesn’t mean you are safe from my questions.”
“I’m not trying to hide from them! I just don’t like awkward silences and I’ve no clue what you’re gonna ask me so I was making sure we weren’t in danger of one.”she sniffed, pointing her nose up a bit. It was a bit of an act considering she was, indeed, trying to hide a little bit. In fact, she was incredible anxious to know what he was wondering about. “Go on and hit me with one.”
“Alright. When did you start reading those types of books?”
“Those types.” She scoffed at the phrasing. It was a relatively tame question with a not so savory answer. “Make me sound like it’s something crazy. But the answer is way too young. Probably 14, 15. I checked one out at the library. To be fair, the first time I didn’t realize it had anything like that in it. I just liked the cover and it seemed nice. One BDSM adjacent book and unsupervised internet access search later and I was finding out all sorts of phrases I didn’t need to know.” It was hard to say if she regretted it now, but she did think it was a little early for that. Then again, most guys her age then were doing their own exploring so it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.
“Hm. Interesting… did you ever get caught with one of them at that age? I’d imagine your parents wouldn’t love that.” No, they most certainly would not.
“Thank god, no. It would have been mortifying. Now I know that my mother has her own little stash with the shirtless guys and the historical romances though, so it wouldn’t have been like she had a leg to stand on anyways.” That was something she was still thankful for. “Did you ever get caught watching or looking at something?”
From the wince on his face, he absolutely did. “Yeah. It’s just as bad as you think it is. It was my dad, which is only marginally better than it being my mother, but he didn’t seem very phased. I think I was more embarrassed than he was. He never brought it up, but I remembered to lock the door each and every time after that.”
“Oh, that’s rough.” Y/N hissed in sympathy. “My parents worked a lot so it was easy for me to just explore things I shouldn’t have back then. Since you’re older than me, was it online or the magazines?” She was teasing, but he rolled his eyes.
“Magazine, actually. I’m not that much older.” Five years, but it was enough to make a difference in how they grew up. “Don’t tease me. I see the age gap shit you’re reading.”
“It’s just fun and games.” She assured, brushing her hand over his shoulder playfully. Again, initiating touches. “Besides, I do like an older man so I’m not gonna make too much fun. Considering you did see the books I grabbed.”
He had been very interested in them, it seemed. Interested enough to hover and let her body feel his heat against her back, the burn still there if she let herself think about it too long.
“Yeah, actually I was gonna ask- which one are you the most excited to read?” It was a nice question, middle of the line- but she had a feeling he was trying to gage something.
“Hm. Reaper, that’s the biker club bad boy protecting her from a stalker one, or the Highest bidder. I’ve heard so much about both of them. I know the smut is good in Reaper because I’ve read snippets, but the jury is still out on the second one.” They had both come highly recommended so she was excited to see if they were going to live up to her expectations. “I do like a good dark romance. It’s kinda hard to explain to people because some things you can enjoy as a fantasy but know in reality it isn’t really ethical, but they won’t get that.”
“I do get it, actually.” He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “S’kinda like if you roleplay in bed or something. No one thinks you should actually be in a student professor relationship, but the premise of it is hot. A lot of it is like… power balances, kinda.”
The ease Harry had of understanding sort of took her off guard. Y/N knew he was intelligent and had spent plenty of time with him to know that was the truth, but a lot of people she knew didn’t quite understand the layers there was to it.
“Yeah, actually. It is a little similar to roleplay, I hadn’t thought too much about that as a comparison.” Now she definitely would. However… the fact that he had brought it up raised a whole new crop of questions… along with the fact she could see a slight shift in his body when she mentioned it. “Is that something you’re into, then? Roleplaying?”
Her eyes watched as he tugged on his lip, using his one hand to steer the wheel while the other seemed to be self soothing a little bit. His forearm looked particularly good in this light, the veins standing out slightly as he squeezed over the leather.
“Mm, outed myself a little with that one didn’t I?”
“A bit.” She giggled, crossing her legs. The question remained on what it was that he liked to roleplay? Was it the teacher thing? Nurse? Doctor? Something more risky? Now that she’d allowed her brain to entertain the not so safe for work thoughts about the man, it was difficult to filter them.
“I do enjoy it, yeah. It’s fun. It doesn’t need to be crazy or anything, but it’s fun to spice things up. I haven’t done a ton of it but it is an interest of mine. I feel like you can explore things with it being safe and being with someone you actually trust, so it’s easier to actually enjoy it.”
The explanation made perfect sense. Partially she was relieved that he seemed so intelligent when it came to sex, considering….
“Safety is big. One time a guy decided to choke me but he didn’t know how to properly do it.” She winced at the memory. “Bruised my neck. He felt really bad afterwards but it was obvious he hadn’t done any sort of real research into it and it was never discussed beforehand. Do I think it’s hot? Yeah, but not when it feels like someone’s about to crush my windpipe.”
“Christ.” Harry sighed, exasperated at the story. It looked like he genuinely was astounded by how bad the guys she had been with had behaved. “I feel like that’s kink 101, innit? You learn how to spank and choke without causing the real damage. Fuck, M’sorry that happened to you. Did it make it hard to enjoy it again?”
“For a little while, yeah. Like you said before, hookups aren’t really my thing anymore either but when I was more into the scene I made sure they either knew how to do it or didn’t do it at all. Sucks, considering it can make you feel ten times better.” It depended on the person for sure, but for her? The head rush made it so much better when she came.
“Yeah, I can only imagine. I’ve never really had a horror story like that for me. Anyone I’ve been with knew how to do it and I figured it out early on, but I did have one girl who tore up my back really bad. Not in the sexy way with marks for a few days, but one got infected and it was a whole thing. I like pain, but not something that’s gonna actively harm me later. I don’t think she meant to do it either but sometimes those nails are sharp.”
Y/N squirmed slightly in her seat as he let out that little bit of information that she clung to. Humidity between her thighs wasn’t exactly something she had planned for today but it seemed like Harry had a manual on how to make her squirm. “First, I’m sorry that happened to you too. I feel like you’ll be able to know you’re doing too much and it shouldn’t ever be tearing up actual skin- unless you’re into that but obviously it wasn’t for you.” She winced, knowing it must have been a bitch to take care of. No one could properly do much for a back thing on their own. The whole reach around thing- a mess. “You can tell me to fuck off this time, but are you into both? The choking, then being choked too?” There was no better way to ask it without being direct, even if it made her feel a little weird to say.
In the drivers seat, he bit his lip to stifle a grin before sneaking a look at her. “What? You think you’re the only one who should have that sorta fun?” Relieving the restraint, he let himself smile at her before his eyes took the road again. “I do, yeah. Both. It just feels good, doesn’t it? The head rush sort of thing. It’s intimate if you do it right. For either person, it can feel like… I dunno, like you’re theirs and they’re mine in that aspect. If it’s done right, it can be the thing to push you over the edge. Trusting someone with their hand around one of your most vulnerable points, it’s a bit thrilling- intimate.”
Y/N knew Harry had some experience, knew he would probably be good in bed just in how he handled her in general. He was attentive and sweet, checking in with her, but unafraid to do what he wanted. He’s dragged her into his lap and rested his chin on her shoulder, easy to ask her for a cuddle and to play with her hair- but he’s been respectful about the whole thing. Part of her wishes maybe he’d maybe be a little disrespectful at this point.
There was no doubt in her mind that Harry knew how to fuck. Just from these conversations alone, she knew he could handle himself. But knowing he was pretty dirty, the knowledge of him liking choking on both fronts, it made her feel hot under her collar. “Mm. Nice to know.”
The response hadn’t been though through, because there were definitely connotations to that- but she let the words tumble out of her mouth without thinking. Her eyes widened as she looked down at her lap, going to open her mouth to respond something else, but the man beat her to it. As usual.
“Is it?” He hummed lightly. “I’m glad you find it amusing.”
“I mean, it is.” She had already dug herself a hole. “I just always thought it would be you doing the choking, I never considered the other way around”.
“You’ve thought about it before, huh?” The smirk was audible in his voice, making her cheeks burn. God damn it all and her slip ups. Harry made her flustered and nervous rolled into a slightly bold ball of dangerous curiosity.
There were a few ways she could’ve gone about it. Denial was the biggest one, but she’d already gone this far. Didn’t she want to push past the friendship boundary? The way her throat felt tight with him so close behind her at the bookshop while he asked her about her books, how she’d placed his hand on her inner thigh for him when they were out last night, she wanted to go further past the established boundaries.
“A few times.”
Her reply was breezy, though she certainly didn’t feel it. The swirling anticipation was bubbling in her tummy, a fluttering bundle of nerves expanding heat through her body. The atmosphere in the truck had been a little tight before, but it had been slowly morphing into a sexually tense mess.
“Mmm. Nice to know.” Mirroring her prior response, she chanced a look at him. One hand still on the steering wheel, vein still making an appearance in his forearm making an appearance from the sunlight glazing inside the truck. But this time, his stubbled chin dipped into a dimple, a light smirk coating his lips and he was rubbing his hand over his denim covered thigh. His hands, god his fucking hands. They were sexy, sexier than she knew a man’s hands could be. He worked with them, so sometimes he had a few cuts or bruises on them, but he kept his nails trimmed and they were clean most of the time she saw them. The cross tattoo stuck out against his skin, tucked between his thumb and index finger.
Impulse control didn’t exist as her finger reached out to trace said ink, running the tip of her nail over the symbol. “I dunno if I ever told you how much I like your tattoos but- I do.” She admitted lightly. “I love tattoos. I’ve always wanted to get some but I’ve been afraid.”
Harry cleared his throat, stopping at the light to look down at her finger running back and forth on the top of his hand. The nail lightly running over the black ink on his sensitive skin, her eyes taking in the same thing. There was no move to remove his hand, letting it stay still as she continued the hypnotic movement and allowed her eyes to move up to his face.
“Yeah?” His voice was slightly hoarse, showing that she did indeed have some effect on her. The confidence was building as the car ride went on, each little confirmation that he had affections over her making it easier for her to feel the motivation to keep going. Keep poking and prodding to see what would get him to snap. “It’s uh, it’s like…” The satisfaction of making him lose his train of thought had her a little drunk with power, moving her fingertips to his ring to twist it around. “It’s not that bad, for me. I like pain, but it’s like… irritating, maybe. There’s areas you should go for a first time, nowhere directly over bone. My sternum hurt but like… yeah. S’not that bad. I’ll take you to my artist if you want.”
“Would you?” Y/N wasn’t stupid. She knew her cadence, the sweet way she said it would elicit a specific type of reaction from him, but that’s the point. “That would be so sweet of you, H. Maybe I’ll take you up on that. I think…” The trail of her fing moved up and down his hand and towards his wrist. “You do a lot for me, you know? You’re so kind and helpful, you help me out at my places and I think maybe we don’t hang out outside of that as much as we should. Do you know what I mean?”
“I agree.” He nodded along to her statement. “Well- I hope you know I don’t mind helping you or anything, cause I don’t. I really like doing things for you. It feels nice.” That could be a loaded statement if she thought about it too long. Harry powered through it though. “But I would love t’hang out with you more individually. I know what you’re sayin’. S’a little annoying when we go out and people interrupt our conversations.”
Y/N giggled at that because, well, they probably shouldn’t be having those conversations of philosophy at the bar and then get annoyed the friends they came with interrupted them, but it seemed like Harry didn’t really like sharing her attention much as it was. “I agree. So rude.” It was obvious she was teasing him a little, squeezing him lightly before her attention was caught by him turning into the car park. “Oh, shit. We’re here already?”
Part of her was sad because the sexual tension was so delicious and she had been a little hopeful he’d snap, but she really was hungry.
“Yeah, but it’s okay. We can keep talking inside, then I’ll bring you home.” There was another pause as she could see him trying to figure out how to say something else. “Uh, or if you wanted, you can come over and swim for a bit? You left your swimsuit there the last time I had the cookout and I’ve been meaning to give it back.”
Y/N felt herself resist the urge to squeeze her thighs together. There was that preexisting knowing that if she went over to his place there was a very little chance they’d actually go swimming. It was hard not to get on her knees and nudge his prick right into her mouth even in the car, but maybe this was what edging was like. “Sure! Everytime we hang out at my house you find something to do.” She raised an accusatory eyebrow at the man. “Something to fix. Maybe I want all the attention for once.”
“Oh yeah?” He met her eye with a brow raise, making her realize she had accidentally been suggestive… but fuck it.
“Yep.” She popped the last letter of the word before opening her car door and slipping out. “Let’s go! I’m hungry!”
——
The tension wasn’t exclusive to the car.
It didn’t break when they walked in, it didn’t break when they sat down to order and it didn’t break as they ate. If anything, Y/N was being a tease for one of the first times in her life. Brushing her foot over his leg, keeping her eyes on the menu when they browsed it, sucking some of the chocolate from her milkshake from her fingers, bumping their feet together, it was thrilling.
Harry’s eyes were dark, almost constantly on her. Y/N could feel his stare when she looked away, either to her food or when she had walked to the restroom to refresh herself. Her poor panties were completely useless now, but taking them off would do her no good. There was no doubt that this whole trip together had been working her up, but Harry had no problem in making it worse.
After insisting on paying the full bill, Y/N walked a little bit ahead of him to try to get to his truck- only to be stopped by a hand on the back of her neck. Firm and controlling, he slowed her down to his pace. “I told you, I like t’open the door for you. So stop bein’ a brat because I didn’t let you pay and just say thank you.”
And, oh- fuck. Y/N could have whimpered from the way he talked to her, rounded eyes looking up at his with her lip poking out slightly. His eyes were a darker shade of green and his jaw set in a way she hadn’t seen before. Had she been moving her hips a little more to see what he’d do? Yeah, a little. But it had to be a culmination of the fact that she’d been working him up all day and purposely acted up to see his reaction.
“Sorry, daddy.” The apology held some sarcasm as they approached the truck. “Didn’t know I had to- oh!” Y/N choked out a gasp as she felt his hand release her neck, instead twirling her hair around his fist and stopping her straight. Her breathing hitched as she felt his lips come closer to her ear, the closeness of the man that had tormenting her poor body all day without even touching her cunt making her shiver.
“Don’t call me that unless you want to be bent over my fuckin’ lap. Lots of attitude today from you, baby.” Baby? Oh, shit. The threat, the heat of his words, the grip, all of it had her knees feeling weak. “You’ve been a goddamn tease all day and I’ve been playing nice, so unless you want t’see my already thin fucking patience snap, I suggest you behave for me. Yeah?” The girl took too long to answer, apparently, because he tugged on her hair again to make it sting a little bit. “Asked you a question.”
“Y-Yeah. I can.” Her voice weakened by the shock and pure arousal, she couldn’t form more than that as he unwound her hair from his fist, demeanor changing instantly with a soft kiss to her cheek.
“There we go. Amazing!” He lightened up, opening the car door for her. “Wanted to hear that story about your neighbor and their Chihuahua, so why don’t you tell me that on the way to my place?”
Y/N didn’t know how he switched to easily, how he wasn’t shaky and pressing her against the bench of his truck to show her exactly how impatient he could be, but she assumed he just had more control than she did. There was no more questioning in the grand investigation on if Harry was interested in her or not. It was safe to assume he was, and she was going to use every bit of that confidence to her advantage when they got back to his place.
She’d behave for now. Let him help her into the car and tell him the story of the yappy thing that liked to eat baby carrots from her hand, be a good girl until they got to his house and the door was closed behind them. After that, though? All bets were off.
——-
Harry’s house was a lot more rustic than hers was.
It resembled a log cabin which really did attest to his whole lumberjack appeal. Contractor, wore flannels and tee shirts, his hair was a bit unkempt sometimes and he had that facial hair he grew out and shaved whenever it felt right. The wraparound porch was something she was eternally jealous of, along with the huge stone fireplace and step down living room. He had impeccable hardwood floors and an open concept bottom floor, skylights in the den and a back deck with a view of the mountains that would make anyone jealous. His pool was built into the hillside, his deck housing a jacuzzi and lots of seating as it sprawled down the length of his house.
What was even better was knowing he’d put most of the grunt work into it. He bought the house and remodeled the whole thing, added onto it, renovated every nook and cranny while keeping the integrity of it. He worked with his hands and it was one of the sexiest things about him, she found, and that itself had her clenching her thighs as he opened the front door with her bags of books hanging off his arm.
They were not light but he carried them like it was a bag of feathers. Another thing that made her feel out of her mind with hormones.
Her brain hadn’t been able to stop repeating the way he had reacted to her playfully calling him daddy, how he had helped himself to her hair and took control of her. How he’d been sweet with her after, giving her cheek a chaste kiss before helping her into the car and listening intently to the story of the neighbor and her dog before letting the music turn up and them sit in their own silence.
She wondered if he had been thinking about it too.
Once the door was open she was happy to follow him inside, the smell of lemon hitting her in surprise. Usually it smelled like pine and something a little more musky. Like he could read her mind, he placed the bags on the foyer bench as he toed off his boots. “Had the housekeeper come by earlier today, it’s the cleaning stuff.”
“Housekeeper?” Y/N blinked a few times. “Since when?”
“Since 3 months ago. It’s twice a week, a woman comes by to clean the house for me. I do the normal upkeep but m’usually busy, y’know? Don’t have a lot of time to do the deep clean- and if I’m honest, I’ve got no desire to.” He laughed, hanging up the over shirt he brought in from the truck over the coatrack.
“Ah. I don’t blame you. That’s the only thing I find chenging about having my own place.”
She could technically afford a housekeeper but it wasn’t something she needed. “I kinda like doing deep cleans. I do them on Sundays and get everything ready the week. If I had your place I’d be excited for it. It’s so beautiful in here.” The compliment was an understatement. If she could have any place, it would be this one.
Sure the long driveway was probably a little scary at night and being in the woods would take a little more getting used to, but she’d seen the sunset from his deck. It was breathtaking.
“Well, you’re welcome to do that whenever you want.” He teased, taking the keys from his pocket and putting them on the hook. One of his toolboxes sat on the floor next to the shoe rack, slightly open. It was just so… Harry of him. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, I’m okay.” She shook her head, looking back up at him. His broad shoulders and his pretty eyes, arms crossed over his chest as he looked right back down at her. It was easy for the heat to come back between them as she took a step forward, reminding herself it was the time to be brave. Her second heartbeat between her thighs was nearly demanding it of her. “I wanted to ask… what was that all about? In the parking lot?”
Harry winced slightly, looking away from her as a blush covered his cheeks. Not the reaction she’d expected, but it was interesting nonetheless. “I… that was out of line of me. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. I’m really sorry, Flower. It was inappropriate and I don’t-“ his eyes went back up as her hands covered his forearms, lightly tugging to get his crossed arms to drop.
“Harry…” she sighed. “Why are you apologizing? Hm?” It was her turn to get into his personal space, stepping into his form and running her hands up his arms.
Those built, inked, perfect arms that reminded her just how strong they were all the fucking time. Her hands clasped together behind his neck, allowing herself to lean into his body as she swallowed her pride and gave herself permission to go for it. To just fucking do it. “I didn’t complain, did I? Didn’t tell you I was uncomfortable?”
“No…” he said slowly, hands frozen by his sides as he looked down at her like he was slightly confused. Almost like he didn’t believe it.
“I wasn’t uncomfortable. I looked like that because when you grabbed my hair and spoke to me like that… it let me know what kind of man you are.”
“And what kind of man do you think I am?” His voice dropped, eyes hooking on to hers as his hands slowly dropped to her hips. The grip was light, curious, but his palms were warm and large and fucking perfect on her body.
“I think you’re the type of man who can fuck me right. You’re so sweet all the time, H. So nice t’me, you make me feel safe and appreciated and beautiful… you always compliment me and refill my drinks. But I didn’t realize you don’t treat the other girls like me. You don’t grab them and put them in your lap. You don’t kiss their necks. You only do that to me.” It was a relief to know that much. “And I’ve been a little oblivious to the fact you’ve been trying to touch me differently, but I think that’s enough of that. You liked to hear about my books, paid for them, paid for my lunch… kinda acting like a sugar daddy today, hm?” Her hair fell over her shoulders as she arched her head back, the firm wall of a man keeping her up as she did so.
“I didn’t do it for you to touch me, Y/N- I promise.” He assured quickly, which was sweet. She already knew it though.
“I know you didn’t. You did it because you’re a provider. You help me in so many ways, you’re the best man I’ve ever met. You’d do it for me over and over again, even if I didn’t catch on because you’re just good. So fucking good to me, and today….” Biting down lightly on her lip, she let out a quiet groan. “Today you drove me crazy. Kept touching me lightly and didn’t press too much, gave me all the answers I wanted and were so respectful about my own. It just let me know that it wasn’t stupid of me to like you. You’re the type of man who can take care of me. Aren’t you?”
The question was answered with a low groan and his mouth falling on hers. Full and soft, he caught her lips with his own and exhaled against her as he hummed. Fucking finally. Pulling apart with a soft click, he let out a laugh of disbelief. He couldn’t believe he was kissing her, that she was saying all of this- and neither could she. “If you let me, I will. I’ll take care of every-fuckin-thing you could ever want, baby. You’ve been driving me crazy since we first met, and I was patient but… you’re right.” Another kiss melted her, the grip on her hips not so gentle anymore. “I am a provider. So let me provide you with the pleasure I know you need.”
#jarofstyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry styles au#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles one shots#harry styles fic#harry fanfic#harry styles fanfics
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hi ! for cliches could you do “fake dating” with gojo please ?
𝑭𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝑫𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈
cw: fluff, naoya ┊The Clichés ™
“You’re buying matcha Daifuku after this or I’ll never talk to you again” Satoru reminded when you were about to arrive the Zenin state.
“Stop complaining, I already told you I will. Besides, you’re gonna get free food here” you adjusted your kimono.
“Like I would eat anything made by a Zenin.”
“You really don’t know them if you think they cook their own food.”
Your family was invited to a wedding at the Zenin state, you didn’t actually knew the couple but your parents did, and they insisted that you had to go to meet Naoya cause ‘you two would be great together’. After that you panicked and told them you were in fact dating and you would only come if you could bring your boyfriend as a plus one.
Of course your parents were a bit disappointed but once you told them your boyfriend was no other than a Gojo they agreed.
“So, just stay by my side the whole time and in a few days I’ll just tell my parents we broke up, by then Naoya will be back in Tokyo so they won’t try to play cupid anymore.”
“What makes you think I wanna break up?” he placed his arm around your shoulders which you immediately pushed away.
“Listen—” you moved to stay in front of him, only then realizing how beautiful he looked with his dark kimono and no sunglasses, you picked the outfit yourself so neither him or you wouldn’t stand out, the less attention you got from the Zenins the better. That proved to quite impossible when your friend had the prettiest features anyone could wish for.
“I’m listening” he teased when a few seconds passed and you still haven’t said anything, “Like what you see?”
“I’m— Shut up” you moved back to his side lacing your arms together and passing through the gates.
Your parents met you there and you formally introduced Gojo to them. Satoru of course couldn’t help but being… Satoru.
“I can see where your daughter inherited such beauty” he directed to your mom who giggled, “Sir I heard so much about you and what a great father you are to my precious girl” you wanted to throw up. The one thing you told Satoru about your dad was his name.
“Excuse me, I need to find the toilet” you headed there trying to avoid any Zenin on your way. As soon as you were done your mother was waiting for you nearby with no one other than Naoya Zenin.
“Darling, come here. Have you met Naoya before?” you took a look at him. He was tall, no as much as Satoru, and surprisingly handsome, again no as much as Satoru. Yet even the slightest chance of becoming a Zenin made you want to run away as fast as you could.
“Pleasure” he said simply.
“Likewise” you replied dryly.
“I’ll leave you two to talk” your mother claimed and walked away. Unbelievable.
“Your mother told me you are with the Gojo kid. If you don’t mind me asking: how did you two met?” he seemed to be suspicious, could your mom have told him she wasn’t sure about the legitimacy of this relationship?
“Hm—“
“We met at Jujutsu Tech, during the joined event between Tokyo and Kyoto” Satoru appeared to your side magically. Naoya raised his brows slightly but didn’t really moved, like a human being teleported in front of him wasn’t really worth being surprised, “It was love at first sight” he placed his hand on your waist, Naoya’s eyes were fixed on your blushing face.
“You two are quite young to be in a serious relationship” he observed. Indeed both you and Gojo were in the last year of Jujutsu Tech, you in Kyoto and him in Tokyo. That weekend he miraculously was in Kyoto for a mission and as soon as he texted you that you already asked him to pretend to be your boyfriend for that event.
Naoya shouldn’t be more than a couple years older than you, but you knew his intentions were to disqualify your relationship, which was quite courageous since your pretended boyfriend was one of the strongest sorcerers.
“And you are quite old to not be a in a relationship, what’s the problem? Can’t find a submissive wife nowadays?” you lighted elbowed Gojo. Even though you didn’t like the Zenins your parents had business with them, so it was best to keep being friendly.
Naoya squinted his eyes, probably thinking ‘how dare him’. That conversation was getting dangerous, the last thing you wanted was to cause a conflict in a house full of powerful sorcerers.
“You should go, thanks for receiving us” you pulled Satoru before their cursed energy raised and everyone directed their attention at the three of you, “Seriously?” you asked when you were out in the garden with him alone.
“Sorry, sweets, I just can’t stand him and the way he was looking at you. The audacity of this guy…” you adjusted your hair to cover the heat on your face.
The truth was you and Satoru weren’t really close, you only hanged out together once a year during the days of the Kyoto x Tokyo event and the times when he was in Kyoto for a mission or you in Tokyo. That’s why Gojo was surprised when you called him to pretend to be your boyfriend and how could he say no when he has been crushing on you since day one?
“We don’t have to stay until the ceremony, I’ll tell my parents we got called for a mission—“ you felt Satoru’s warm hand on your cheek and he moved your face to look at him, as soon as you met his piercing blue eyes you lost track of your thoughts.
He slowly approached his face to yours and you closed your eyes in anticipation for a kiss. His hand held your face gently but his lips kissed you strongly and stood there for a few seconds, enough to make your heart beat faster than it did during a fight.
“He’s looking at us” Satoru whispered making you open your eyes, he was facing the windows of the house you just left.
“Oh” you couldn’t hold the disappointment in your voice.
“You’re right, you should go, the cursed energy in this house is overwhelming me” he massaged his temple.
“No one told you to come without your sunglasses.”
“Please, like you didn’t want everyone to see what a gorgeous set of blue eyes your boyfriend has” you giggled. ‘Your boyfriend’ was a tittle Satoru could get used to, “Besides I’ve been wanting to try something different” he pulled a black fabric from his pocket.
“Is that a mask?”
“Yeah, it covers more than the glasses and doesn’t wear me out so much, it looks weird though.”
“Can I?” you asked for the mask and he handed to you, “Bend down a little bit.”
Satoru flex his knees to be closed to your height, your fingers brushed his hair back before surrounding his eyes with the blindfold and tying it on the back, Gojo could still see the shape of your face due to the cursed energy and he smiled once he noted the darker shade around your cheeks.
“W—What are you smiling for?” you let go of the fabric adjusting his hair a little bit more.
“Nothing, sweets” he pinched your cheeks.
“Take a look” you pulled a mirror from your tiny purse and handed to him, the way you put his hair was way better than what he was doing before, now it didn’t seem like he was about to hit a piñata.
“What do you think?” he asked, it was weird not seeing his eyes but you knew he was going to feel better like that.
“It’s okay… you look nice” you murmured not wanting to give him too much to brag about.
“Haha you think i’m super handsome, don’t you?”
And he did it anyways.
“No, let’s go.”
“Time for matcha daifuku” he placed his arm around your shoulders and you didn’t pushed away this time.
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WHO KNEW? 💍💔 - PART TWO
No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
"You took my hand, you showed me how
You promised me you'd be around (...)
I took your words and I believed in everything you said to me (...)
If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, 'cause they're all wrong
I know better, 'cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"
Summary: even against your wishes, your bond with the Millers straightens and a series of events causes you and Joel to get closer, enough to spike the fear of falling again for him
• This is the second part of Who Knew? 💍💔 Which was also inspired by this amazing HEADCANON request
Warnings: angst, broken hearts, mentions of divorce, mentions of infidelity, fluff, age gap (Joel is four to five years older than reader and the time skip is 12 to 14 years (Sarah's age) but feel free to imagine whatever you want), house breaking, protective Joel, sexual tension
A/N: so besties, I've been obsessed with this idea, and I hope you enjoy it as well! I mean, I've been writing a little more than 1k words a day, there were some parts I thought were good and some were not so good, as a final result, I don't know, I really hope you all enjoy it my lovelies! It's so hard to resist Joel, isn't it?
10.4k words
If someone told you one day, after a decade of being divorced from Joel due to the huge heartbreak he put you through, your bond with the Millers would straighten once more, you would stand up and punch them out. It was so ridiculously absurd to think you would become closer to the man who chewed you up and spat you out and even if he had indeed changed and was a better person, wasn't enough to make you forget what happened. Yes, you had forgiven him, but not forgotten what went on between the two of you, and even if a part of you desperately begged you to stay away and never talk to Joel again, destiny was pretty ironic at its doings and made you and his daughter, Sarah, become friends. You didn't mean to, and you were sure that if it were up to him, he wouldn't have said yes either, but you never knew she was his daughter and he never knew his daughter's friend was… well, you.
After he did some working at your home, he had asked you out, which you actually considered, but then dismissed the idea completely, there was no way you would put yourself through that again, even if he was even more handsome than when he was young, even if he did make your heart race and pound like you were some inexperienced teenager and even if late at night before falling asleep you closed your eyes and replayed in your mind the last kiss you cherished. Even if you focused hard enough and could still feel his warmth, the heavy grip of his hand on your waist, the way his beard that now was sprinkled with grays here and there scratched your skin and how Joel Miller still had the best kiss you'd ever tried. For a moment it had felt so right, even if it was wrong, and a hidden part of you, the part that just maybe didn't despise Joel that much often allowed you to wonder what would actually happen if you had given him a chance to take you out, would it have been really that bad? You would've gone somewhere to drink or grab something to eat, hang out, perhaps even dance and of course you would end up in Joel's bed, hardly any woman would pass up this opportunity. For a moment you wish it could've been that way, but unfortunately, you and Joel were done. After you turned him down you still shared a last kiss and then you both went back to your own lives, the only thing that connected the two of you in the past was the failed marriage you had just as the only thing that connected the two of you in the present was Sarah.
She was the loveliest girl you'd ever met in your life, so smart and sweet, always kind to everyone, responsible and even if you had had problems with her dad, you couldn't help but feel sorry for her and the fact her own mother didn't want to be around; it sounded crazy to you that woman could give up her chance of being the mother of a wonderful little girl like Sarah, even if Joel had killed any kind of desire of getting involved with someone to the point of building up a family. Not to mention Joel himself, he was a handsome, hard-working man, and he had been a good husband before Angela ruined your life. You knew she wasn't the only one to blame, Joel was a real dick, but now you certainly had two reasons to hate her: the fact she ruined your marriage and that she abandoned her daughter.
After Joel took over the renovations in your home, Sarah continued coming over and even if you felt sort of guilty from keeping the truth from her, you also knew it wasn't your place to tell her, if anything, you and Joel needed to do it together. You couldn't ruin the perfect image she had of her dad, because he was a great father to her and no one could deny that. Overall, you really enjoyed her presence; it wasn't uncommon for her to tag along during lunch time or spend the afternoon reading on your couch. Sometimes you wondered if she didn't have enough friends to hang out with, after all, Joel was busy throughout the day and any teen would take the opportunity of freedom to do whatever shit they wanted with them without having to give their parents the time of the day, but that didn't make any sense, not with Sarah being a sociable girl like she was, so when the realization that she sort of envisioned you as a motherly figure at some level, you felt quite shocked. If life hadn't pulled some unfunny tricks along your way, she could've easily been yours and Joel's daughter. You tried to shake it off and pretend she didn't see you that way, but looking back at your interactions it was undeniable; Sarah opened up to you about things she certainly didn't with Joel, from the pain of periods, to problems with girl friends and boys. It was amusing until Sarah began questioning you about it, asking you about your love life, past relationships and why you were single. You felt bad about not telling her the whole truth, but it was a complicated situation. Especially when she came up with the idea she really considered it to be genius
"Why don't you date my dad?!"
She asked you one lazy afternoon, making you choke softly at the water you were drinking, looking at her shocked and speechless for a while, her sweet smile was impossible to make you get mad at her, and above all it was a genuine question, she wasn't just messing with you.
"What?! My dad looks good, he works hard and he would make you very happy!" She cheered innocently, which caused your heart to sink.
"No… I wouldn't date your dad, he's incompatible… I mean, we are incompatible, I'm sure we wouldn't get along"
"Why?! Is it because you have more money than us? Dad does say you are way out of his league"
And you were shocked and speechless once more. Joel had talked about you to Sarah? And he had told her you were out of his league? This information should have made you scoff and roll your eyes, and not make your cheeks heat up while you blushed.
"No Sarah, Jesus no! It's got nothing to do with money or anything… I mean, your dad works hard and he should earn more than he does, because he is very dedicated and well, an honest working man like Joel can be worth a lot more than a rich guy, trust me" you sighed as she stared at you intently "but the thing is… I've been married once, I was too young, it was disastrous, it didn't work obviously, I got hurt and well… your dad sort of reminds me of him, my ex-husband I mean… It's hard to explain, but no, I wouldn't date your father"
You hated that you lied to her, well, half lies at least, but you wished you could be honest, Sarah was an important part of your life and it would be a lot easier if you three would come clean about everything that happened; on the other hand, you couldn't even imagine the mess you would make in her poor little head, as it was pretty messy and fucked up for you as well whenever you stopped to think you were friends with your ex-husband's daughter, the one he had with the woman he cheated on you with and that simply walked out and abandoned him. It even sounded made up, so you offered her just the piece of information you could. Sarah reached out to you, taking your hand in hers and caressing your knuckles, she gave you a sympathetic look and nodded
"I'm so sorry… I can't even imagine how you must feel, he didn't deserve you anyway, you can be sure you are way better than him, and well, I am just glad dad isn't like that, he's a nice guy, he would never do such a thing to anyone. I just feel like he deserved more too, you know? That woman… my mom, even if she shouldn't be called that, just broke his heart and disappeared. Uncle Tommy told me she never really wanted to have me in the first place and if it weren't for dad, you know…" She looked down trying to hide the thick sadness that fogged her face and it was your turn to reach to her, taking her hand, but seeing it wasn't enough as you got up and walked to Sarah, giving her a hug.
"I don't know, I just wish dad would find a nice girl like yourself and then he could be happy, I mean, we all could…"
•••
Joel groaned at how annoying his brother really was, he didn't get why Tommy would always pry into his fucking business instead of handling his own life, Joel was a grown man and he didn't need anyone trying to set him up with women or just inviting him out out of pity. He could take care of himself; he didn't need to meet women or be in a relationship, he was fine the way he was, his life was already way too hectic the way it was, whenever he felt lonely he could just pick up some woman at a bar and get laid and then go back to his everyday routine. And yet both Tommy and Sarah kept on getting on his nerves, always suggesting him to one girl or another or trying to drag him on double dates. When Sarah had casually told him to ask you out, completely oblivious to the fact he had already done it and you shut him out, Joel was at a loss of words, he tried playing cool but he couldn't deny the mess his feelings had become. He wasn't sure how to suppress them, not after that one kiss. That must've meant something, you wouldn't just give him a speech of how uninterested you were and how you two would never work out again and then kiss him like that, you probably still had feelings for him, if not feelings, at least desire, and as much as he would love to act on it, he didn't want to force things up, to he pushy and make you uncomfortable. He'd hurt you too many times to learn that if you'd asked him to stay away, he should stay away. Not only that, Tommy was completely onboard with everything you had said, to him, the fact Joel was crushing on his ex-wife more than a decade after breaking her heart was a clear sign of madness. He figured Joel still had feelings for you, even if Tommy wasn't one to settle down, he couldn't understand how his brother went from madly in love with his pretty young wife to a terrible husband and finally the asshole who dumped her for another woman. He knew that the passion Joel felt for Angela was strong, but even more than just a burning passion, lay that undying love he'd felt for you, and he was sure it wouldn't simply go away, which didn't necessarily mean that Joel surrendering to that love was a smart move. Quite the opposite, it was probably the dumbest thing Tommy had ever heard in his entire life. How could Joel even keep any hopes of getting with you again?! It hadn't worked, too many people got hurt and all he wanted was that his brother could actually see that, so he simply discouraged Joel from getting anywhere near you, as if it wasn't bad enough Sarah had been dragged accidentally into this story, he didn't want his brother suffering around. So he set his brother up on a date, something that Joel hated with passion but since he was feeling particularly hopeless that night he ended up accepting it.
He was usually very against being set up on blind dates, but Joel had created a depressing ritual of always going out and grabbing a drink whenever he came across the date that would've marked his wedding anniversary with you. Joel often heard men were forgetful and didn't remember important dates, but he had never been like that, always keeping the important dates fresh in his mind was something common, ever since he was a child, especially when they brought him strong emotions, such as the ones he shared with you. He thought it was a little stupid at first, but he found out that it helped him cope with the guilt and the doubts that always clouded up his mind. He would sit at a bar and wonder where you could be, how your life would have been like and if you ever thought of him. It sort of became his thing, but this year, for the first time, he knew the exact answers to his questions, and it was so odd, he decided to take Tommy's suggestions to go out with a friend of his brother's girlfriend, he didn't really care nor paid attention, he just exchanged numbers with her, showered and got dressed after work and headed for the restaurant.
And just as he had predicted, it had been another disastrous date. Not that the girl wasn't pretty, she was, but she was just exhausting; her conversation was tiring, her subjects were boring and overall, she just wasn't you. Joel didn't understand why he was having it so bad for you, he knew he shouldn't, he should forget about it all and focus on something else, but as much as he tried not to think of you, more he thought of you. It was maddening. He couldn't help himself but compare the two of you: you were prettier, smarter, funnier, you dressed and smelled better than that random stranger he saw himself being forced to have dinner with. And he wished with all his heart you could be on that date with him; if only you gave him just one chance to show you he was a better man, he would never hurt you like he did before, give you a chance to redeem himself and make you happy exactly the way you deserved it, he would be the happiest man in the world. Life wasn't gonna make things easier for him, and deep down, he knew he didn't even deserve it in the first place, so he tried once more paying attention to his date, which didn't last very long and the moment he saw the opportunity to leave, he grabbed it like a life preserver in the middle of the ocean and headed to a bar - alone, and only after paying for the check, after all, Joel Miller was still a gentleman.
Your wedding anniversary had always been a tricky date for you; there were years you went completely unaffected by it and years you felt like dying. For the first time, however, you were closer to Joel than you'd always been in the years before, and because of that, you decided you deserved better than just stay home and have some bland dinner by yourself, you would go out and perhaps meet other people… And your plan went really smoothly for a while; you got to a nice bar, dressed nicely, dragging some male attention towards you and even got paid a drink by a handsome stranger who waved from afar. It felt like a promising night, until Joel Miller walked in and looked for a table, and he looked devilish handsome as he did so. You bit your lips feeling the alcohol rushing towards one direction at the same time you censored yourself: no matter how lonely and needy you were feeling nor how handsome he was, you couldn't simply feel the hots for him. As if he'd just read your mind, Joel turned around, his eyes falling right on you, his gaze softened up and you saw him running his tongue through his lips, deciding whether or not to walk towards you.
Of course he did it.
The moment he approached, Joel noticed the sadness in your eyes and he was sure you were the for the exact same reason he was, and it was just another motive to get closer to you; taking the chair next to you, he asked the bartender for a drink and as soon as he had it in hands, he stared at you.
"Happy wedding anniversary, darling" he tilted his glass against yours, as you just nodded and took a long sip.
"Happy wedding anniversary, handsome" you replied in a mockery tone using the old nickname you used for him. Handsome was a word that really described him, your Joel. He had always been a handsome man, but how well time treated him was impressive to say the least. He looked so good, he was bigger, broad and stronger. His dark hair had become a little grayer, just like a few patches all over his beard, and that suited him like a damn velvet glove. The way his shirt hung tight around his shoulders and down his arms, eyes lingering on him for way too long, as a warmth spread through your cheek and Joel chuckled
"Funny how you still blush when I'm around… Exactly like old times" he grinned and took another sip of his drink, which was enough to break you free from the spell you were under.
"What are you doing here? I thought I'd made myself pretty clear, Joel" you sighed and stared down into your glass.
"I'm doing the same as you are, darling… I'm thinking about all the bad decisions I made in life. You have been pretty clear, I ain't going to bother you, but I just missed you… it's so weird to see Sarah getting home everyday so excited over you, talking about how nice and awesome you are and I have to pretend not to know about it"
"Yeah? And you think it's easy for me to spend the whole afternoon listening to her talking about what an amazing dad you are? How you are awesome but very unlucky to have had your heartbroken by her mom?" You raised your eyebrow and chuckled
"She really say that?" Joel's expression showed a slight shock "she said I was an amazing dad?!"
You tilted your head at his surprise and bit your lips, perhaps it was just the drinks you had that softened you up a little, but when you saw it, you placed your hand on his arm and shook your head
"Yeah? Why are you so surprised? You are an amazing dad, Joel… that girl loves you more than anything in the world, she idolizes you, of course, she thinks you work too much and that you could both spend some more time together, but other than that, it's clear you are a great father. I was very surprised when we met again, to see your change, I never really thought you would become a better person, not after what happened, but it's nice to see Sarah changed that" you smiled softly at him, and that just melted Joel's rough heart, he immediately took your hand before you could move it away and caressed your knuckles softly, his gaze still making you pathetically shy, as he pursed his lips and you remembered how good they've always felt on your own and also all over your body.
"You know she also sees you as a mother figure, right?!"
"Yeah, I was reluctant to admit it at first, but she does… I guess she needed that, you know? A woman she could talk to about girl stuff, things she cannot talk to her dad or her uncle Tommy" you smiled "I really like Sarah and I'm very glad you allow us to be friends, I understand it is a really odd situation for you, as it is for me, but I like her a lot… you know, if things had been different, she could've been my daughter… our daughter" you sighed "things could've been different Joel… you know what made so hard for me to forgive you? It's not exactly you falling for Angela, of course, rejection hurts a lot, but sometimes it happens, sometimes you fall for someone you shouldn't have, but what still breaks my heart is that you lied to me, you played with me instead of coming clean. You just kept me around even if you didn't want me anymore, so just you would have a comfortable option in case it didn't work with her, and that was what made me feel worse… it made me feel unworthy, because you could still have been considerate of me and just break things up before it all happened" you shrugged
"Darling, I-" he squeezed your hand tighter but you pulled it away
"I'm not trying to make you upset or anything, all I am saying is that things could have been different between us, they should have been at least, if not staying married, having a child and building a family together, then at least having your honesty…"
"What can I do so you forgive me?" Joel asked, his voice breaking a little as he tried to hide the emotion growing at any minute.
"I've already forgiven you Joel, I already told you that… but I can't forget what happened, it will always haunt me" you sighed "too many things happened and as much as I had loved you, I think I would never be able to trust you"
"Please, I have changed, it kills me to know I've hurt you so much, I wish I could go back in time and undo everything that I did.. please, darling" Joel begged you with those brown soft eyes, his hand cupping your cheek in a warm caress and even if you closed your eyes and leaned into his touch for a while, you knew you couldn't let yourself fall into his touch, because if you did, there would be no turning back.
"If Angela returned today, Joel… imagine if she came back and tried claiming you and Sarah, would you still care about me? Because I don't see this happening, Joel. Honestly, what I think is that you want me because you feel bad about what happened and because you couldn't have who you really wanted…"
His expression was indecipherable and for a second you thought he would say something, but all he did was pull you closer, gluing your lips together in an urgent kiss, you could've fought it, but you didn't; instead, you kissed him back, taking your hands into his curls and tugging at them more and more each time Joel pulled you even closer.
Only when the two of you broke the kiss, he looked into your eyes, his thumb stroking your bottom lip gently
"There isn't anyone I want but you, I never stopped loving you, darling… even when Angela was around, she couldn't compare to you" his words shattered your heart, as much as you wanted to believe that, you still couldn't. You grabbed his hand and sighed
"Don't do this again, Joel, please. You've ruined too many things for me already…" you got up and said goodbye "we can't, you know it"
"What have I ruined for you, darling? Tell me and I'll fix it, please"
You chuckled sad and shrugged
"Joel, you even ruined Queen for me'
You walked away from him, leaving him there with his drink and his thoughts, a puzzled look out of confusion in his face trying to figure out exactly what the hell you meant by that. Just as he saw you disappear out of the door, he realized what meant as he paid attention to the lyrics of the song playing in background:
"Love of my life, you hurt me
You've broken my heart
And now you leave me
Love of my life, can't you see (...)"
And even if Joel wanted to be rational and convince himself he'd lost you for good, his heart still insisted on wanting what he couldn't have.
•••
Your car parked in Joel's driveway was the last thing he expected to see that night, after working excruciatingly and failing his promise of getting home earlier to have dinner with his daughter. He knew Sarah was probably waiting, disappointed but also used to it, full of having some sandwich or any other snack she could find. He cursed himself for getting so caught up at work, he didn't mean to, but he had done it again, after all, he had to attend an important meeting with a possible new client and then he would need to wait for the arrival of a bunch of materials that had been delayed for weeks, and even if he knew his daughter was safe with you, he still felt upset to have not given her the attention she needed. However, you had never been to his house before, that was something that you established from the very beginning and when he kissed you at the bar a couple of weeks ago, Joel was certain that was the end of seeing you, occasionally or not. He was sure you'd never shut Sarah out, you liked her for real, and she reciprocated the feelings; besides, you were a decent enough human being who knew you didn't have to mix things up. So, the fact you were indeed at his home, was concerning to him, who parked and immediately left, getting inside wanting to see what was going on. The moment the door opened in one hard swing, you got off the couch and walked to your ex-husband
“Hey Joel” you said, a little shy, suddenly, the fact you were standing in the middle of his home uninvited made you extremely embarrassed, as it felt you were somehow intruding on his intimacy. Since the divorce Joel had moved into a new house, bigger and cozier, a nice backyard with a decent swimming pool was something that drew your attention; you smiled at yourself, knowing how much Joel loved swimming, so it made your heart warm to see he had accomplished something that seemed quite small, but it meant a lot to you.
At first, when you saw the house, you couldn't help but be invaded by a furious jealousy of the possibility Joel had built that house for her, Angela, instead of you. Luckily, Sarah clarified he only started to build it when she was a toddler and that Tommy helped him, and that's why he often crashed there. You chuckled to yourself, that was typical of Tommy, but overall you felt proud of Joel and everything he achieved, you knew he had potential and it was great that he actually worked on it.
“Where's Sarah?!” He asked with worry and called her name once more, louder this time, frowning as you shushed him.
“I'm sorry I'm here, but she had a fever felt sick, I wanted to call you but she asked me not to an-” you were cut off by Joel simply climbing up the stairs and heading straight to Sarah's room, he felt a mix of guilt and worry weighing in his heart at the fact his baby daughter was sick and he couldn't be there for her. He barged into her room, normally, that would be enough to startle her, but instead, he found her peacefully asleep, clung tight to her pillow, dressed in her regular PJs. He touched her forehead wanting to check her temperature, but luckily her skin wasn't warm anymore. He looked at the door and found you there, arms folded and looking like you wanted to say something else, and then he just realized how rude he'd actually been to you by simply walking away and letting you talk to a brick wall. He placed a gentle kiss on his daughter's forehead and closed the door behind him.
“I'm sorry darling, I was worried and you should've called me…”
“It's okay, Joel… as I was saying, I wanted to call you, but Sarah asked me not to, she said you were having an important meeting and you would be home soon, anyway” you licked your lips as you realized he was extremely late and probably feeling so guilty about it all.
“You know, she was at my place and she was feeling a little down, at first I thought she was just upset because she wasn't invited to Melissa's party an-”
“That girl is a bitch” Joel said angrily and in such a defensive way that it was both cute he was so protective of his daughter at the same time it sounded hilarious to see him cursing another teenage girl. However, you had to agree with him, Melissa was indeed a bitch.
“Yeah, I know right?! Anyway, I noticed Sarah was burning up with fever and since she didn't want me to call you, I decided to bring her home and stay with her. So I asked her to take a cool shower, gave her some tylenol and made her some chicken soup with the things I found in your kitchen…” you both went downstairs and stopped in his living room. You tried not paying attention to how good your ex-husband looked after his long hour shift; his sweaty shirt so tight against his broad chest, his messy hair and that stressed attitude that would always melt away with a very intense orgasm.
“You made soup?!” Joel frowned a little shocked and interrupted your drifting thoughts.
“Y-yeah, why? Did I do bad?”
“No” Joel smiled softly and shook his head “not at all, it's just that… I haven't had your food in so long and you've always been a good cook, that's all” the nostalgia he felt was so big and it also warmed your heart, nodding at him “well, I made some more in case you wanted to have dinner too, it's in the kitchen, you can help yourself if you'd like…” you offered him and grabbed your purse “can you call me tomorrow and let me know if Sarah is better?”
Joel grabbed your arm gently and shook his head
“Don't go, not yet… just have dinner with me, talk to me for a while, I promise I won't try to kiss you or anything. Just keep me company, it's rare to have people over, it's usually Sarah and I and usually Tommy, but when they are out, it's just me” he looked at you with a sad expression, and you understood perfectly: loneliness.
Coming back home to an empty bed at night. Not having anyone to rely on, to hold, to give you support and affection, to make love. So you nodded and smiled at him, sitting down with him at the table and grabbed yourself a plate, giggling at how hungry he really was, eating as if he hadn't seen food in months. He raised his eyes at you and stopped chewing, blushing as you wouldn't stop staring.
“You know, you and Sarah have the same sad puppy eyes when you are sick?!” Joel raised his eyebrow at you and you laughed softly “same red teary eyes, sniffing as someone takes care of you, it's actually adorable”
“You think I'm adorable?!”
“Adorable isn't exactly what you are Joel…” you said letting your eyes wandering all over him and having your ex-husband to smirk at you
“Yeah? You think I'm attractive?”
“You know you are attractive, Joel, now shut up and eat” you frowned softly and had dinner with him; it was a pleasant moment, spending some time together, without any talks about the divorce or the past, just two old acquaintances who perhaps had some kind of feelings for each other and shared a meal together. There weren't accusations, apologies or tears, just mundane, regular conversations and laughter. It was nice to have that moment with Joel, as you both progressed in a conversation about your lives and how things had changed over the years, truly catching up instead of arguing. When the subjected revolved around Sarah again, your ex-husband couldn't contain his curiosity anymore:
“You never wanted kids, darling?”
You looked down at your empty plate, a glimmer of sadness crossing your eyes as you shook your head and stared at him
“Not after you, Joel… I used to want a kid, before, when we were together, but not anymore. I feel it's too late for me now, even if I'm still young, it just feels impossible, you know?”
Joel's hand rested on top of yours, he caressed it very gently and looked at you. He sighed knowing exactly what you meant, knowing you actually meant having a baby together and of course he blew it once more. He couldn't even describe the remorse he felt, even if you had spent the past half an hour having a rare moment of bliss tougher, he knew he would never be able to erase what had happened between the two of you. He wished he had a chance to do so, but deep inside, even if he did, he knew the damage had been done.
“It's alright, Joel…” you said shyly and got up as you picked the plates and piled them in the sink, he immediately walked to you,
“Let me handle the dishes, it's the least I can do, you know… after you took care of my daughter and cooked for us. I'm sure Sarah loved it, we aren't used to having homemade food” he chuckled as you nodded
“Yeah, I figured, that's why I decided to make something else…” you said as you walked to the oven and opened it, showing Joel the freshly baked batch of chocolate chips cookies. He widened his eyes like a child and smiled big.
“This is your favorite, I figured it was Sarah's as well” you said sweetly and got the tray out of the oven, although you mumbled something a couple of times, Joel hadn't replied to you, as he kept washing the plates without interruption. You didn't get why he ignored your question, it made no sense; just a few minutes ago you were both having a nice, sweet time together and suddenly he wasn't going to say anything? That was odd. You placed the cookies on the balcony and called him again, to which you got no reply so you just shook his arm a little calling him again.
He turned around and watched you
“What is it?” He asked with a sweet smile, making you even more confused
“I called you a couple of times and you didn't say anything… is everything alright with you?” And at that question his face fell and it was impossible for Joel to hide his sadness. He licked his lips and nodded
“Yeah… it's just that… I'm kinda deaf in my right ear” he blushed and looked down in shame “I had a work accident some years ago and something blew up when I stood too close to it and well…” he shrugged and you felt your heart sink. Your poor Joel, always such a hardworking man, despite everything between you both, you never wanted him to be that injured. It saddened you to see how ashamed he seemed of it, even if he had no reason to be ashamed of it at all, and suddenly it made all sense to you why he was always subtly tilting his head to the left or standing towards that direction when he talked to you.
“I can hear it just fine, got used to it by now, but if you mumble something on my right it's kinda hard to me” the simple and even innocent way he said that made you so sympathetic of him, but it was way more than just that. It made you want to hold him, to assure him it was fine and he was still nothing but perfect no matter what had happened.
“Oh Joel…” you whispered and held his head in both of your hands, gently, your fingers brushing against his thick beard as you got closer and rested your forehead against his “I'm so sorry honey” you whispered again and closed your eyes. He was determined to respect you and not get handsy with you, but the moment he saw you pulling him closer, he couldn't help doing the same; gripping your waist with large hands, just like he used to, exactly where they fit so well, he brought your bodies close together.
“Don't go, please… stay” he whispered back, his lips were almost on yours, everything felt so right at that moment even if it was wrong. You hated how it felt like playing with fire: it seemed beautiful and appealing but you would get burned no matter what.
“I'm sorry, you know I can't” you said, moving your lips just an inch further and connecting with his, earning a hungry kiss.
For someone who desperately wanted to keep away from their ex-husband, you were certainly doing a shitty job. He needed you as much as you needed him, you both wanted each other, but you broke the kiss. It couldn't happen, your relationship was as complicated as it was and you didn't want to deal with that responsibility later. His heavy breathing lingered on your skin, at the same time he placed a soft peck on your neck, knowing all your sweet spots, that devilish man Joel Miller was.
“You know you can call me, right? Anything you need, anything at all, just call me and I'll come running to you, darling, don't forget that” he whispered into your ear and more than a seducing invitation, it was a plea, from a hopelessly man in love who didn't know what to do to prove his worth.
•••
Joel's offer to call him whenever you needed was so tempting, because you didn't actually need to call him, but you wanted to. It made no sense, you were the one who wanted to keep your distance from him, but due to the latest events you found yourself wanting to see Joel each time more, just the thought of his presence brought you an excitement you tried not reading too much into it; you didn't want to admit you were crushing on your ex-husband, but then, how could you call the fact your heart raced when you saw him? How you blushed and felt sparkles whenever you touched him briefly - accidentally or not? It was tricky, it was a mess but it seemed Joel made you lose that filter that always kept you emotionally distant from everyone. After learning Sarah was alright, you felt relieved for her, and when she stopped by your home and thanked you for taking care of her, you felt that familiar warmth in your heart. It seemed the more your rational part fought for you to stay away, that you had been severely hurt by Joel and you couldn't afford giving him a chance to do the same for the second time, but your irrational side? The one driven by your feelings and desires?! That one only made you dive deeper into the Millers household. Your feelings for Sarah just grew, you were attached to her and she was attached to you, she found in you the female influence it lacked for years and she represented something you never had but wished you could. And her dad was something else… ever since that evening you spent together, having dinner, chatting and enjoying each other's company, Joel had told you you could call him anytime for any reason. It didn't matter if you wanted to talk, hang out or have him fix something at your place, he was at your will.
And then you weren't certain if your faucet was really leaking, or if your door was actually warped or if all of that had to do with the fact you were looking for an excuse to call Joel and see him. You didn't want to hire him and you didn't want to discuss feelings, talk about the past or hear all sorts of apologies, you wanted to have a nice, pleasant moment with him, just like you had the last time. It felt so familiar and yet so new; it was about the two of you being acquaintances but at the same time meeting each other, your older, more mature versions finally getting together and hitting off. That was the kind of interaction you wanted from Joel.
You just didn't know exactly how to initiate it, not without giving him any kind of hope or leading him into it.
So you decided to focus on work, like you'd been doing for over a decade. You liked your job, it was stressful as any other job in the world and the money was great. However, you had got so comfortable and used to working from home, the days you were forced to actually go to the office felt excruciating, but it was part of the deal and you had to do it. So you got up, got ready - not without texting Sarah to let her know you wouldn't be home that day - and went to do your business. It was also when you noticed something was wrong. You didn't know the car that was parked across the street, it was a little odd, as you got used to all your neighbors and it was such a calm neighborhood you simply noticed when there was someone from outside. Still, you shrugged and got into your own car, driving to work.
On your way back, all you wanted was a cool shower and some relaxing hours scattered on the couch, but you tensed up a bit when you spotted the same car you did in the morning still there. It had nothing indicating trouble, and yet, you had a gut feeling telling you it simply wasn't right, however, there was nothing you could really do about it. You thought of calling Joel, but you didn't want to risk sounding paranoid and overall crazy. What could you tell him?! That there was a car parked across the street?!
You groaned when you checked your email and saw you would have to attend a meeting at work in person the next day. You were so sure you'd solved everything up, so why would you have to go? It was probably one of those meetings that could be just a work email and it annoyed you to no end, but still, you had no other option other than attending so the next morning you were there, getting ready when you spotted the same car. You had no idea if it had spent the whole night there or if it had gotten there before you woke up, nonetheless, you were taken by the same feeling you did the day before, no matter if they were irrational or not, it was just overwhelming. After another day at work, you returned home and sighed relieved to see the car wasn't there. Maybe it had been just a paranoid episode, perhaps you were just reading too much into things and all the stress from work combined with your situation with Joel made you lose your grip on reality a little bit.
The fact was that after doing your regular house things, you decided to take a relaxing bath and sink yourself into your tub. Selecting the perfect bath bomb and adjusting the temperature, you got inside, groaning at how the warm water made your tense muscles relax and you could feel the knots undoing themselves; as you closed your eyes and relaxed, there was nothing clouding up your mind but Joel.
His handsome face, his smile, his curly graying hair. He was your Joel, but older, mode handsome, if that was even a thing, because Joel was definitely the most handsome man you'd ever met. You couldn't help yourself but picture him wrapping his strong arms around your body, perhaps a relaxing bath with Joel would feel so good, you wouldn't be able to to turn it down. Just to imagine his naked body holding yours was enough to spike so many things all over you. You didn't know if you'd ended up dozing off in the tub, but it was hard to say if any time had passed or not the moment you heard some noises around your house. You couldn't remember if you'd forgotten your TV on or something like that, you were sure you hadn't turned on the radio, but it was enough to feel goosebumps all over your skin. You left the tub, drying yourself as quick as possible and wrapping a bathrobe around your body, exiting the room as silently as you could, hearing whispering and steps all over the lower floor. You went to your room and looked outside the window, your heart racing the moment you spotted the same car you'd seen before. You didn't know what to do, you could feel the suffocating wave of anxiety taking over completely. You could hear their voices, because apparently there was more than one guy. They were robbing your home, but what would happen if they reached you? You immediately locked your bedroom door, so relieved to see your phone was thrown onto the bed. Grabbing it, you dialed the number you'd never forgotten.
•••
“Come on, darling, open up” Joel's voice was the first thing you registered after you made the call, hugged yourself against a corner of your room and closed your eyes. You had heard footsteps climbing the stairs and how the thieves banged on your door, but you remained as quiet as you could. Just praying someone would show up to save you. You'd called Joel and he called the cops on his way over, he had dropped everything he was doing when he heard the raw fear in your voice. It was horrible you had your home broken into, but it made it even worse to think of what two criminals could do with such a beautiful woman like yourself. So he grabbed Tommy and they both rushed towards your place. Arriving there almost at the same time as the cops did, finding your front door busted open and a lot of valuable things such as your TV and your laptop gone. He had a baseball bat in hands, ready to attack whoever threatened your physical integrity and when he got questioning looks from the cop, he cleared his throat and explained he was your ex-husband - and friend.
“Is that really you, Joel?” You asked in a little more than a whisper, so glad to know he was there. You walked to the door and unlocked it, seeing Joel's worried eyes scanning you to make sure you were unharmed. Only then, you realized you hadn't gotten dressed, still wrapped in your bathrobe, but it didn't matter, all you could think of was looking for shelter into his strong, safe arms, sinking your face into his chest at the same time Joel caressed your back up and down, his lips planted a kiss on top of your head and another one on your forehead, wanting to soothe you and show you how safe you were from now on. He was there for you, it wouldn't absolve him from what he'd done in the past, but that didn't even matter to you or Joel, the important thing was that he was there, he came as fast as he could only for you and he would do it a thousand times more if necessary; you both knew that.
“I got you, baby girl, I got you” Joel cooed at you, tightening the hug around your body and keeping you closer. And you had missed that embrace, you just belonged in it, and you never wanted to let go.
Joel held you through the whole process of talking to the cops, informing them about the strange car that was seen around your home and also listing every item they stole: your TV, an iPad, your laptop and your car. Even if you were safe among them, you couldn't help but feel that nervous, anxious feeling at the very possibility of being alone at home once more. Nothing happened in the end, but it could have happened, and though it sucked to have been robbed of so much valuable stuff, you weren't harmed, and that was what mattered the most to you and above all, Joel.
As the cops talked to Joel and assured they'd get in touch if any of it was found, he walked them to the door and turned back to you, finding you all shy and scared, hugging yourself and looking at him with sad eyes. You didn't want to be alone and you didn't want to have to ask him for company, you didn't want to sound whiny or pathetic, especially not after it was just a break-in without any physical damage.
“Come on, pack your bags and I'll take you home with me” Joel's voice broke the silence and made you stare at him surprised “it can be for a few days, but if you aren't comfortable with that, then let me take you at least for the night, I ain't leaving you alone. Sarah's out at her friends in a slumber party or something, you can take her bed, or mine and I'll sleep on the couch, it doesn't matter, just come…” he extended his hand to you, which you gladly took it, and made his way upstairs, waiting patiently as you grabbed a backpack and shoved a few clothes and accessories you would need. You couldn't even describe how you felt at Joel's kindness. You were so comforted, so glad to see you weren't alone and that he was willing to take care and protect you. It didn't take very long to get your backpack ready, wrapping your arms around his neck in another tight hug, thanking him for being so gentle and earning only reassuring and affectionate words.
Once you got to the truck, you were welcomed by a whiff of his familiar scent, it smelled like Joel, your Joel and your heart warmed. He glanced at you while he drove, still seeing the tension all over you and his hand rested on your knee “you must be hungry…”
“I am” you said, a little anxious and watched as he turned the wheel and changed streets. Even before getting to the address, you already knew where Joel was taking you: your favorite Taco place. You chuckled as you remembered that was your favorite date spot when you were painfully young; when life seemed so promising and Joel Miller was the man who made you stutter and sweat through your hands. Whenever he glanced towards you, your cheeks would heat up and you would feel like bursting into flames. And after you both got married, when things were still good, that was the place where he would stop by eventually, pick up some takeout and take home, as a way of spoiling and thanking you for taking care of him. As he parked, he smiled and cleared his throat.
“You know, this is our spot, I never brought any girl here, with the exception of Sarah, of course, but much to my disappointment, she isn't really into tacos, which makes it exclusively our thing” he winked at you and you nodded, a small, petty side of you felt thankful for the confirmation of Angela never been there with Joel. It was just a taco shop and yet, it was still one thing that it was so yours and Joel's and she hadn't ruined it with her touch. You felt even hungrier at that moment, relaxing to know you could have a peaceful dinner with your good memories and the man who somehow still managed to make you blush, stammer a little and sweat through your hands.
As you both munched on the food sitting down in the back of his truck, just like you did every Friday night more than a decade ago, you chuckled at how things change but somehow remain the same. He tilted his head to the side, wiping a little bit of sauce you had over your cheek, exactly like when you both were younger.
“I know this probably tastes like shit, compared to the food you've had over the years when you traveled all over the world, you know Sarah told me all about it because she really admires you an-”
You took his hand and squeezed it, then placed your hand on his chin making him look into your eyes.
“Joel… this is the best taco I've ever had, the most delicious takeout I've ever tried because you are here with me..” she whispered and smiled, seeing how his face lit up. Neither of you said it, but you were finally having that date he asked you out several months ago, when destiny decided to put the two of you together. As he saw you shivering in the cold wind, he did the honorable thing and took off his jacket, placing it over your shoulder and rubbing both of your arms. You thanked him and looked all over his truck
“We spent quite a while in here…” you shrugged “and to think I lost my virginity here… you've always been a real gentleman” you scoffed and rolled your eyes. Joel laughed and sighed
“Yeah, well, I've come along nicely, give me a chance and I'll show you” he winked, flirting a little as you shook your head in disbelief.
“Are you serious?! Fuck off, Joel Miller! No guy will ever fuck me in the back of a truck, and especially not you!” You slapped his arm playfully, hugging it and resting your chin on his shoulder, feeling the wind against your face and looking up at him.
“Joel? Can you do us both a favor?” He nodded at you wanting to hear whatever question you had to ask him “please don't let Sarah marry the first asshole she falls in love with”
“I'm on it” he replied, laughing softly and pulling you closer. Closer than you'd ever been to him, he just wished that night wouldn't end too soon.
•••
Lying in Sarah's bed was odd, to say the least; especially when Joel's room was just there, a hallway distant from you. After the moment - better saying, the moments you both had shared in the past few days and even more so that night, you felt things would escalate to another level, a level in which it didn't matter to you if it was right or wrong, It was just bound to happen. But once you got to his home, he showed you his daughter's room, the bathroom, and asked if you needed anything else and simply let you be. Which was what you wanted, it was what you had asked him to do the last time you'd shared a kiss, but at the same time you felt disappointed because you wanted more of him, more of your Joel. The sweet moments you'd spent together were weighing so heavily in your heart, and even if you hadn't forgotten about what happened, the new proximity brought a new light in your relationship with Joel; it felt nice and different, a good different and as much as you closed your eyes and tried falling asleep, you were simply taken back to the moment he held you, soothed you, caressed your skin and assured you everything was alright. Tossing and turning in bed while you wished you were somewhere else instead, anywhere really, as long as he was just next to you. At first, when the gentle strumming from the guitar got to your ears, you imagined you had dozed off for a few minutes, perhaps you had even started to dream, but when your eyes were wide open and the beautiful, familiar sound wouldn't cease, you knew that only meant one thing: Joel was playing the guitar.
It couldn't come from his bedroom, the sound was too far to be coming from there, so you knew you would have to get up and explore. Suddenly, you felt a wave of excitement. Not only did you love watching Joel play the guitar, but now you had a pretty decent and reasonable excuse to go after him. You didn't want to make things weird and be that kind of person to leave the other confused, with your dubious signs, but you were just following your heart at that moment.
You tiptoed through his house, doing your best to move in the dark, as you didn't want to startle Joel or make him think you wanted the music to stop. And then your heart skipped a beat when you looked through the window and saw him playing the guitar on his porch. The cold wind that bothered you when you both were out eating tacos seemed to have stopped, and just then you realized it was indeed warm inside the house. He was so relaxed, strumming his guitar and humming a song softly, you've always loved his singing voice, even if he was a little shy about it, you could sit down and watch him play and sing for hours. You opened the door quietly and rested against the doorframe, admiring it quietly the way he looked focused at his guitar. He played calmly and it was the most beautiful sight you could ever think of. You wouldn't be able to tell exactly how long you stood there, but when Joel looked up at you, you were already walking towards him.
“That was beautiful, Joel…”
“Just like you are, darlin'”
You both knew exactly what you wanted at that moment, how you took another step closer, one after the other and you suddenly were hovering over him. Joel placed his guitar down, he wasn't going to be able to hold himself back, not at that moment. In one single motion, he pulled you to him by the hips, a tight grasp around your body and kissing you deeply. You straddled Joel, your hands making their familiar way towards his curls, loving how they always felt under your touch. Unlike the other times you'd kissed, you knew you would both go all the way down, you wanted it, craved it and even if you knew what to do and where to touch, it also felt new, you were both were the same young couple who'd been so in love, newly married and full of hopes and dreams, but you were also a couple who'd lived separately for more than a decade, you had both experienced heartbreaks, passions, you'd tried and touched other people, but eventually, just like home, it you were drawn to each other. There was no way out. When you were shamelessly humping and groaning on top of him, Joel knew it was time to take things inside, to hell with his neighbors, he didn't care if any of them witnessed it, if anything, he wanted people to see what a lucky bastard he was to have you in his arms, that he was going to take you and make you his at least once more. So he got up, lifting you up easily, so easily, and took you inside, climbing stairs with you in his arms, he longed for you, he was hungry for your body, your taste, your touch. He needed you and Joel Miller was about to take it all. He placed you over his mattress and got rid of his shirt - his dark blue one, that looked so good on him - and let your hands wander his body. He didn't take long to undress you, nibbling your thighs in the process, he knew your body like the palm of his hand, with the exception the last time he'd visited it, his palm wasn't as calloused as it was now, just as you weren't so painfully hot as you were at that moment. You'd always been gorgeous, but at that moment, naked in his bed, it was the most beautiful and erotic thing he'd ever seen and yet he wanted it to make it forever. As he got inside of you, he didn't know how long it would last, how long you both would last, you were being way nicer and more compassionate than he would ever deserve it, but at the same time, something within said you shared the same feelings for each other.
Once you both reached your bliss, love bites, kissings, caresses and so much affection between you both, you relaxed into his arms, your head resting comfortably in his chest, and you felt at home. You still didn't know what the next day would bring you both. Perhaps you would stay together, or you would part ways for good, there was still so much to be done, to spoken, you would have to handle the fact and the consequences of not using protection with Joel, maybe that was a good reason to worry about , or not, you didn't want to think of it, just as you didn't want to think of how you both could ever explain to Sarah what happened, or how Joel would explain Tommy and you would explain your family how you got together, maybe even one day Angela could return, you'd learned the hard way life wasn't a bed of roses and you feared that if you agreed to be happy with Joel once more you would get hurt, one way or another, but all that wasn't important, not at that moment. All it mattered was you and your Joel in bed, snuggled up and worrying about nothing but each other. He nuzzled your neck, making you giggle and in return you pecked his lips once more. He wanted to say those three little words, but decided not to, not yet, instead, he wanted to show you it, now he'd had a taste of you, and he vowed himself to make you happy for the rest of his life.
He knew he had broken your heart, it was the worst thing Joel Miller had ever done, but he was going to win you back, because he wasn't going to give up happiness with you, not again.
____
A/N: besties, how did I do? Did you like it? I hope you did! I honestly had planned on writing a sad ending, I was going to make reader move on from Joel once for all, but then, is it even possible to get over him? It's impossible not to fall for him and give him a second chance. A third part is possible but I have no idea when, and feedback is always welcome my lovelies ❤️💕
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal one shot#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#tlou joel miller#tlou fanfiction#tlou hbo#tlou au
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If anyone remembers that one episode from season nine where Peri got Mrs crocker for a godchild(slight spoilers for a new wish and Peri's relationship with Dev)
She was depressed because she felt like Crocker didn't love her back,and she tried to use wish after wish to quell that emptiness,leaving Peri so exhausted because no matter how many wishes he tried to grant she never seemed to get happy
It got so bad from what I remember they tried all ways to get her to break the rules just so Peri would be free from her,she only truly lost him when she reconciled with Crocker who admitted he did indeed love her
I can't help but compare this to Peri's new godkid in ANW, Dev tried to do something similar,all he ever wanted was to have his dad's love which he never got because Dale literally cares more about money and his literal boots more than him,hence similarly no matter how many wishes he kept asking for hardly any of them were able to geniunely make him happy beyond the surface level, I'd argue the only times he was truly happy was when he and Hazel were friends but that's for another post.
Peri did try his best to adhere to the rules and to grant his wishes,but this in turn just made Dev get even more frustrated because in all fairness he doesn't really NEED a fairy to give him little things like a cupcake or something like a game he's rich he can get an AU pair to bring him that anytime,and the more riskier wishes that can be deemed as more fun is against the rules. Heck I'd even argue that initially Dev may not have seen Peri as anything besides an AU Pair but with magic given that he only really used him to make wishes. Dale probably just told him to ask the au pairs anything he wanted as a means of neglecting his own parental responsibilities. That and Peri wanting to do his absolute best at his first job to impress his parents and stick by the rules along with Dev's frustration and lashing out is the core reason why it fell apart so quickly.
This difference in opinion led to all of this, they're both at fault and both have legitimate reasons for it,Peri had the excuse that this really is his first job he's just doing what he was taught at the academy just grant the kid's wishes and make them happy,he probably did not anticipate the need for severe emotional understanding when it comes to troubled kids(honestly who decided to give a newbie a kid that needed way more help from a seasoned fairy godparent though? I blame whoever made that decision)he did care about Dev in the end but by that time it was too late.
With Dev it's he's a hurt kid and he lashes out at others which I'm not trying to justify it's still wrong,and people can get hurt because of that but given his circumstances I really understand him, he's not used to allowing people in and builds walls around himself even the slightest gesture is enough to make him to increase his guard even more like when he thought a single argument with Hazel meant their friendship was over and tried to go back to being his old self until Hazel pointed that out to him,the sunglasses being a literal metaphor for it,he takes them off a lot during his friendship arc with Hazel and starts putting them on all the time near the end during his downward spiral. He acts the persona of a bully as a means of gaining control of his situation,when it's obvious that is not how he truly is lost and founders day being a prime example,he was genuinely getting better until he found out about project H,and I can understand his reaction his dad who's always absent,hardly ever pays any attention to him literally won't look him in the eye unless it concerns bussiness,cares more about his son's friend then he cares about his own son,did Hazel deserve to get yelled at though?no she didn't, it's still not her fault.
Then immediately after Hazel leaves Peri comes back and tries a feeble attempt to cheer him up by persuading him to make a wish,which really wasn't the right call to make in that specific moment which further aggravates Dev into telling him to leave before having a mental breakdown.
And later in best of luck he ends up getting in a vulnerable position when Peri declares he's quitting,and Irep ends up being a bad influence,he gets manipulated and tries to take over fairy world as a desperate means of getting Dale to finally, finally pay some attention to him which he does initially until he immediately shifts his focus to Irep instead. Literally leaving Dev in the dust on the ground. Alone again.
(I really want to make this post a bit more detailed but I'm six days away from an exam so I can't find the time,any grammar mistakes is because of how rushed this one was might edit it later)
Cosmo phrases it best what he wanted was something no fairy could ever give him,he wanted a parent's love and that is something no amount of wealth or magic is ever going to amount to,which is ultimately the final straw in making Dev abandon everything and accept the consequences without any persistence.
Peri couldn't really relate to or understand Dev because he always had the love or his parents even when he was anxious of messing up they were always supportive and loving, I don't think it's a coincidence that the panel always shows the three of them hugging infront of Dev and Hazel the latter trying to talk to him after everything that transpired. A physical metaphor of what he doesn't have and has to see Infront of his eyes all the time. Again I don't really blame anybody(except maybe Dale but if I'm blaming Dale I'm also blaming Vicky),Peri is a rookie he just graduated so it's unrealistic to expect him to be the best right away, I actually think he might need to ask Wanda and Cosmo for advice in season two how they dealt with certain kids and how he can improve himself.
Because neither Dev or Peri were perfect they were horrible to eachother,but that doesn't mean they can't be better.
It's clearly setting up an overarching story, I actually have faith in the new writers they didn't throw in that scene of Peri saying he cared about Dev and leaving it ambiguous whether or not Dev actually still remembers because of that one theory for nothing.
My reason for bringing in Mrs Crocker is to point out that the only way Dev can really quell his own emptiness is by attaining the love he always wanted, I think by off chance he does indeed remember everything- which I believe is the better option to retain his charecter development-,he may have finally come to understand that no matter what he does his dad would never care about him the same way he cares about his Business and himself,maybe this will lead to him forming better connections with other people, reconciling his friendship with Hazel and befriending Winn and Jasmine and maybe even getting Peri back as his fairy.
Another reason slightly crack that inspired me to make this post is this
This is Peri's eventual state/reaction every time he gets a godchild, boy's been bad at this from the very beginning it's that and simultaneously always gets a hard case on his first try
#fop a new wish#fop anw#fop#the fairly oddparents#fairly Oddparents#fairly Oddparents a new wish#fairly Oddparents anw#fop peri#fop dev#theory#not really much of a theory#periwinkle fairywinkle cosma#dev dimmadome
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I AM SPINNING I AM PACING I AM FULL ON FROLICKING IM SO EXCITED
@d1sc0rd1a THANK U FOR THESE TAGS
okayokayokayokay so pretty much all of these questions will be Officially Answered properly in the character design/intro pages im working on but also i am physically vibrating with excitement about the fact that you noticed all these details and i have very little self control so! lore dump time!!!
(minor tw for mentions of leos self-harm/self-destructive anxious behaviors and unhealthy coping skills)
- mikey does indeed have curly fur! i believe he would be considered a 'rex' rat (pictured on the left) for this trait? though the curls can be more easily seen on mice (pictured on the right). or, at least it seems that way. have not delved too deeply into the details of rodent genes and husbandry, but id assume its the same sort of mutation considering curly haired mice are also referred to as rex sometimes? either way hes a extra floofy bby 🧡
-as for raphie, unfortunately being more fluff and less shell than the average rapheal comes with its downsides. especially if you and your brothers occasionally encounter things like territorial dogs, hungry cats, or sewer crocodiles while exploring places ur dad said not supposed to go. (most of his scars will have more ninja related stories, but his ear i think got messed up from something very animal. probably around age 11 ish? old enough to sneak out from dads protection but young enough to not fully know how to handle himself alone against real danger. thankfully his ear injury looks worse than it actually is for the most part, as the damage was largely to the outer ear. his hearing wasnt super affected, except that he now has a bit of a harder time being able to track/pinpoint noises origins if its on his right side.)
-also yep! dons got some glasses that just clip/rest on the bridge of his nose! theyre mostly just for home use, as they do fall off if hes knocked around. in the field he has some goggles he tends to use (theyre helpful as they have multiple additional functions like heat-imaging, extra zoom/telescoping, and recording capabilities. but also theyll give him headaches if he wears them for too long without breaks). contacts are theoretically also an option but he absolutely hates the sensation of putting them in. so sometimes when hes tired he'll just not bother with either clips or goggles and just squint and struggle. leo hates when he does that lol.
-speaking of leo, he is def an anxious baby :) he has a few patches of fur missing on his hand cos he has the tendency to tug on it while hes thinking. he yanked and chewed on his own tail a lot when he was younger too, which is why when hes older he usually wears some wraps to cover the scars left from that behavior. he finds those scars specifically to be kinda embarrassing and shameful because they werent from any battle or life-lesson, just his own 'inability to control himself'. all of his brothers have repeatedly called him out on the fact that that is not a healthy way to think about his anxiety or mental health, but leo insists hes fine. hes kinda convinced himself that a proper warrior always has control over his own body* and his own thoughts, thus he should be able to just like willpower-brute-force his way into 'being better'. (this line of thinking pisses raph off so much he has to leave and go hit something)
Splinter also tries to talk him through some of that internalized guilt/shame/everything, but splinters very metaphorical, poetic, and indirect when it comes to talking about Big Things, which combined with how much leo gets caught in his own head, makes it kinda hard to gauge how much these talks actually help
*this is made extra fun considering leos also ftm trans, so he is faced with a body that fundamentally disobeys him perhaps more than the average rat-man.
-and im still going back and forth between a few species for splinter, but im leaning mostly towards an African Spurred Tortoise! they have these beautiful if kinda subtle geometric shell patterns and are the third largest species of tortoise in the world. the only thing that doesnt fit perfectly with Splints is that (allegedly) their lifespan in captivity is around 50ish years, whereas im p sure Tortoise Splinter is well over 75, probably closer to 90 when the boys are born and hes mutated into Old Man Papa.
but maybe hes just a particularly long lasting African Spurred Tortoise.
the Hamato family has taken very good care of him for many decades after all. :)
(well. until everything all fell apart, that is.....)
#tmnt#rat sons#my art#tmnt au#literally bouncing around the room thinking about this all#my downstairs neighbors are gonna hate me#ask reply#sort of???#pats leos fucked up lil head#this bad boy can fit so much projection#get out of ur head idiot ur family loves and wants to help u#also looking at the chaco tortoise and ploughshare tortoise for splinter thoboth of those are smaller species than i think he is
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Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 6
And we're back on this story. I didn't get as much Halloween stories in as I wanted, but there is still a week and half left in the month so I might get a couple of one-shots out before the big day. I have one with the older teens dressing up as RHPS characters for a midnight showing I'm part of the way through that might get done in time. We'll see.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
***
Eddie hadn’t seen Steve in close to an hour and it was starting to worry him.
He been bombarded with commiseration after commiseration from friends of his grandma and their families. All the Munson family was already here.
Almost.
As far as Eddie knew, Al Munson was still in some jail in Texas for grand theft auto. His third strike in the state of Texas. Who knows how many strikes he had in other states. Wayne wasn’t telling, and Eddie wasn’t asking.
He was standing there in his best jeans and nice black button up. It wasn’t what he was going to wear to the funeral, Wayne had raised him better than that. But he thought it was nice for a wake.
And it wasn’t as though Steve was dressed up either. He was wearing khakis and a grey Henley.
But all around him Eddie could feel the eyes of the other mourners, looking at him, judging him, and absolutely finding him wanting.
He stood in the corner, sinking further and further from view as he felt assaulted by their glares.
Suddenly there was a warm hand on his back and voice in his ear telling him to take a walk outside with him.
He let Steve lead him out of the house and onto the porch.
Steve pulled out a cigarette and lit it, handing it to Eddie and then lighting one of his own.
“You grandma must have been one hell of a lady to have that many mourners at her wake,” Steve said after a moment or two of smoking in silence.
Eddie snorted. “You ain’t seen nothing yet, pretty boy. This is just close friends and family. Tomorrow’s gonna be the real shindig. It’s going to be standing room only in the church.” He paused. “Ah, shit. That’s going to be okay, right? Going to a Catholic church?”
Steve scoffed. “Yeah, that’s fine. Not religious myself. Kinda hard to be when you’ve seen the worst of humanity and actual fucking monsters.”
Eddie look a long drag of his cigarette. “I feel that. Stopped believing in God when I heard that AIDS was one of God’s modern plagues against the unrighteous.”
Steve shook his head. “That fucking blows. I figure if there was a Jesus, he was like El, you know? Just extra human, no God required.”
Eddie laughed. “Yeah. I bet that’s what it was. Thanks for that.” He raised his cigarette. “And this.”
Steve bumped their shoulders together. “No trouble, Eds. I could hear what they were saying about you behind your back and I thought you could use the break.”
“You thought right, Stevie,” he agreed. “Not a Christian heart in a single one of those church goers.”
Steve hummed. “This is what I’m here for on this trip, okay? I will put myself between you and those hateful people.”
Eddie laid his head on Steve’s shoulder. “God, it’s on top of everything else, you know. The six hour drive yesterday. My aunt being a bitch to you even though you didn’t deserve it. Putting on my second best clothes and still not being good enough for them.”
“They look at you and see your dad, huh?”
Eddie froze bringing the cigarette to his mouth and turned to Steve in shock. “How the hell did you know that?”
Steve shrugged. “My parents used to throw these big parties for Christmas and their anniversary. Like BIG parties. Blow your uncle’s yearly wages on a fucking party, big. The last was when I was sixteen, right? And I could hear all the whispers about how much I looked like him and how I must be just like him. Booze, women, and lavish parties full of people that wanted to kiss my ass.”
The cigarette fell out of Eddie’s mouth and landed on his lap. He brushed it off quickly, cursing and patting at his crouch so that he wouldn’t get burned.
Steve laughed.
“Fuck you.”
Eddie stomped out the cigarette to ease his bruised ego. He huffed out a sigh. “Is that part of the reason for the attitude change? Because everyone credits Nancy and Jonathan for the cognitive readjustment, but it started before that.”
Steve frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Before you started dating Nancy, you stopped the big parties at your house,” Eddie said. “Hagan told me it was because your dad caught you, but that wasn’t it, was it?”
Steve’s eyes went wide and his jaw dropped. “Holy shit. I didn’t even realize.”
“You started to clean up your act for Nancy, sure,” he continued. “But you started down that path before you started dating.”
Steve stubbed out his cigarette. “I saw you listening to Depeche Mode earlier when we had finished cleaning up the house...”
Eddie straightened up. He had listened to the tape. The song Lauren had queued up for him, especially. That one over and over.
“You into BDSM there, Stevie boy?” he said with a teasing grin.
Steve laughed. “Oh god, that one. Yeah, no, man. You know the song I mean.”
“You want to tell me what went down there?” Eddie asked. “Don’t spare Nancy for the sake of my feelings, okay? You’re more important to me then some chick.”
“She had a thing for Jonathan,” he explained. “Broke up with me for a month and then came running back. I didn’t think too much of it, you know? I was just happy that she was back. I tried to be the best boyfriend I could. I don’t think I succeeded. Then I made the mistake of using the words ‘normal teenagers’ because I wanted to go to some Halloween party.”
Steve let out a shuddering breath. “She started drinking heavily that night. Like more than someone her stature should. I tried to get her stop and I spilled the drink all down her white dress. So we went to the bathroom to clean it up. She called me bullshit. Said our relationship was bullshit.”
“Holy fucking hell, dude,” Eddie whispered.
Steve shook his head. “I thought it was just a bad fight. Even though everyone at school was calling it a breakup. I didn’t believe it. I bought her flowers to apologize. Fucking roses.” He was on his feet and pacing back and forth, running his fingers through his hair. “But she wasn’t home. Oh no. Her and Jonathan were on a fact-finding mission. And a fuck finding mission, apparently.”
Eddie leaned forward in shock. “She slept with Jonathan?”
Steve stopped, frozen still. He took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I still thought we were dating. She didn’t. It’s why I don’t tell people. Because she thinks she didn’t cheat on me and I think she did.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” he said, looking down at his stark white tennis shoes in utter despair.
Eddie was on his feet and giving Steve a huge hug. “Thank you for telling me. I get why the music spoke to you and I won’t begrudge anyone loving music that helped them through rough times, okay?”
Steve nodded into Eddie neck, trying to not to sob.
When Aunt Penny came out a while later she found both boys just crying into each other’s arms.
“Boys,” she said gently. “It’s time for the toast to Gina.”
They reluctantly let go of each other and wiped their faces with their hands.
Wayne handed them glasses when they entered the front room. Penny picked up her glass.
“To Gina Munson!”
“Salut!” they all cheered.
Eddie and Steve knocked back their drinks with the rest of them.
There was more socializing after the toast, but this time Eddie had Steve at his side and every time they glared at Eddie, Steve would wink at them causing them to flush in embarrassment and turn away.
Finally everyone had gone, the food had been cleared away and the mess cleaned up.
Eddie and Steve silently made their way to the room they shared.
“I wanted to thank you for earlier,” Eddie said as they slowly got ready for bed.
Steve straightened up from where he had been pulling on his pajama bottoms. “For what?”
“For everything, I guess,” Eddie murmured. “For fending off bullshit...not even relatives, but friends of the family, I guess. For telling me about Nancy even though it was clear you didn’t want to. For coming on this trip in the first place. I probably would have thrown hands already if it wasn’t for you.”
Steve pulled up his pants and padded over to him to pull him into a hug. “I do it for any of our friends, Eds. But I’m glad I’m helping. I’m glad that you told me you needed me for this.”
“Single best decision of my life so far,” Eddie mumbled into Steve’s neck. “Wayne thinks so too.”
Steve laughed. “Well if Wayne says so it must be true.”
Eddie chuckled. “He is pretty smart.”
They crawled into bed and faced each other under the blanket.
“What’s really bothering you, Eds?” Steve whispered. “I can tell there’s something bothering you, but I can’t figure it out.”
Eddie pursed his lips. “It’s the stares and snide remarks, I guess. I know that like back home they all think I did it. That I killed Chrissy and Patrick and Fred. That I’m just like my dad. Maybe even worse.”
Steve pulled him close. “We know the truth. Wayne knows the truth. The people that love you know the truth. You’re a bona fide hero, Eddie Munson. They can all burn in hell if there is one.”
Eddie shook his head. “It’s more than that, I think. It’s that despite seeing me for a month every summer, that they would even think me capable of such violence. I had grown up with these people. How could they think that of me?”
“Small-minded people will always think the worst of you,” Steve murmured. “I know, it sucks. But here’s the best part about being an adult. If you wanted to, you never have to see them again in your life. You can cut them out and that’s all the say they have in the matter.”
Eddie sighed. “Thanks.”
Steve just held on until they both fell asleep.
*
The day of the funeral dawned cloudy and grey as if nature, too, grieved the loss of Gina Munson. Cherished wife, beloved mother, and devoted grandmother.
Eddie and Steve dressed in solemn silence. Eddie pulled on a pair of black high-waisted trousers that he had found at a thrift store before they left. He put on the black button up from the night before and rolled up the sleeves. Over the top went a nice dark grey vest. He wore his nice, white sneakers. He strapped on bracelets and bangles on his wrists and chains and necklaces around his scar on his neck.
His wasn’t as noticeable as Steve’s but he had had enough of his grandmother and aunt’s friends eyes flicking toward it and sneering last night to last a life time thank you.
Steve was dressed similarly. The nice black slacks, the black button up (buttoned neatly at his wrists), a dark grey sweater vest. He wore a suit coat over the top and nice silver tie. His shoes were shined mirror bright and his hair artfully done.
Wayne, Steve and Eddie decided to all go in Steve’s car to the funeral. They pulled into the spots reserved for family and made their way into the church. As Eddie predicted it was standing room only. They walked all the way up the aisle to where the first row had been designated for the family, too.
They sat down and the service began.
Eddie sat there, tears streaming down his face, tucked into Wayne’s arm. Steve took his hand and held on as the Father droned on and on about the life of a good woman.
The pallbearers stood up. Wayne, Oliver, Eddie, Danny, and two good friends of Gina’s lifted her coffin onto their shoulders and marched down the aisle to “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” played on the organ.
They carried the casket out into the cemetery and slid her gently onto the straps that would be used to lower her into grave.
Eddie moved back to stand next to Steve and looked out into the crowd.
He stiffened as he spotted someone near the front of the throng of people paying their respects.
Steve followed his eyes to the man standing next to a portly fellow in a black suit.
He had dark curly hair shaved on the sides. He had a neatly trimmed beard that highlighted the sharpness of his jawline. His cheekbones were as hard as his jaw and eyes. It was the eyes that really struck Steve. They were the same color as Eddie’s but so, so cold.
He bowed his head and Steve could see that his hands were clasped in front of him.
Or so he thought.
The cold man shifted from one foot to the other and Steve could see the glint of the handcuffs.
There was no doubt on who this was now.
Allen “Al” Munson had been allowed to come to his mother’s funeral.
***
Pt 7|Pt 8|Pt 9|Pt 10|Pt 11|Pt 12
Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mamafaithful @yikes-a-bee @dragonmama76
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Do you have ideas for how the Angel and The Prototype ship would occur and progress? (Like, who would get feelings for who first, who would they get advice from, how the toys would react, if it would be an even bigger romcom than Dogday and Catnap…)
FINALLY, MY TIME HAS ARRIVED.
Angel x Prototype in the Everyone Is Saved AU first starts after Angel finds a nice house for all the toys to live in. After everyone is moved out and settled in, Catnap convinces Prototype to leave the abandoned factory. Prototype reluctantly agrees, making sure to grab every single document he can find with him. I know Prototype is known by the authorities because Angel had to tell them about him, but not by the general public. When he leaves Playtime, it's a very quick and effective escape and into a small hut outside the farm.
This new place is way smaller than Playtime, physically wise, but it feels so much better in every way possible. Prototype is weirded out by everything at this point, even the sound of the toys playing with each other and talking like normal kids and young adults would do instead of trying to hunt each other for food like before. Elliot's mind is full, all the memories from the toys he absorbed together with his own, and now his brain finally has time to work out through the +10 years of trauma. He dissociates a lot, his hallucinations get weirder, all the good stuff about dealing with trauma, and the only ones who are there for him are Catnap and Angel.
Oh, Angel...
So we all can agree that Angel is also suffering from PTSD, right? And on top of that, they're taking care of +80 kids! Yeah some of them are young adults, but from Angel's POV those are still THEIR kids, and they have no idea how they work. Except Prototype does, and thus their relationship evolves from merely two adults desperate to give a better life to monster toys to two adults having no fucking idea what they're supposed to do for them. Prototype feels like he will never be able to repay for his sins, Angel feels like they'll never be able to provide everything the kids need. So one day Angel stays up late in Prototype's hut just talking about the toys, with Proto/Elliot also talking about them, and the two just go "this feels so overbearing, right?", and the other agrees.
When Prototype's relationship with Catnap finally gets better when they have some important conversations about the decade-long post Hour of Joy, there's a notable shift in his behavior, because now that he feels like he has his kid back it's like things can indeed be better. Cue to Angel getting better at dealing with the other toys, and as months go by their bond becomes stronger and more than just "hey the kids gave me a lot of work today and I need to drink/smoke, i'll stay at your hut so I won't be a bad example to them".
The really good stuff hits only after Poppy finds out that Prototype = Elliot Ludwig = her actual dad, because it's Angel grabbing Proto around and going "TALK. WITH. YOUR. KIDS", and it's the first time in decades since someone ever did that to him, because who in their right mind would bicker with a monster like HIM? And then Angel does exactly that. Smacks him with a newspaper and demands him to get his shit together instead of spiraling further into depression.
Somewhere during the months where Prototype is being promoted to parent #2 by each toy, one by one, is when Angel realizes that their friendship is getting a bit Funky(tm), but they just. Ignore it. Two years post-Playtime Co. go by and Angel is just there like "what I feel for parent #2 is entirely platonic and I do not think of him as anything else than a friend at all hahaha it would be weird right. Because he still talks to me about how he misses his wife (they divorced each other +70 years ago) and how he feels like he failed literally everyone important to him. I mean he didn't fail me what I see is just a guy struggling to be better and honestly I'm worse than him and- oh wait What" until like, they go to a family trip and Prototype decides to stay behind to watch over the farm, and Angel misses him way more than they think they would just miss a dear friend, and it's not just because he helps them with the kids.
Anyways Angel is panicking in all levels except physical when one day Prototype is talking with Catnap and Poppy (they're having a three-toy "tea party" because Pop wanted them to have a small family gathering) and she looks at him in the eye(s) and says "dad, are you sure you don't feel anything else for Angel?", and Proto is just "why are you asking me that???". Cue to Catnap staring at him like
And then Prototype realizes it's not very normal kind of platonic two months later when Angel, as per usual, is called by a scammer. And, as per house protocol, all the toys immediately go to the living room as Angel says "hold up, can you talk to my husband for a moment?" and gives Prototype the phone and tells him to do his thing and annoy the scammer. And Prototype feels weirdly a tiny bit too happy about pretending to be someone else's husband.
At this point the other toys are eyeing the two of them and going "no way..." as the two IDIOTS show them that yeah, yeah, they're witnessing the second romcom of the house, after Catnap and Dogday's telenovela-level worthy levels of drama. Some of them, like Kickin and Dogday himself, think it's no big deal, just two people being friendly, that's all, and then some time later Prototype accidentally sleeps over Angel's room during a thunderstorm (Angel is afraid he'll get struck by lightning so he stays in the main house for safety), and Angel, a genius Made In Brazil, decides to sleep in their room anyways because why not, Proto is just giving free teddybear vibes.
Proto wakes up and just accepts his fate (he's happy with that). Angel is half-asleep and very content with the setup.
... Anyways. Next day goes by, surprise surprise, the family's cuddle pile for movie night now has Prototype added to it, and it's not because Angel sleeps better when he's around. Nope.
Poppy and Catnap are considering start doing some bets to see how long it'll take their parents to realize It's Not Normal Platonic Anymore(TM) at this point, and are unimpressed when Prototype goes to them, sighs, and agrees that Poppy indeed was right. Meanwhile Angel has NO IDEA what to do because it's Prototype/Elliot, no way they have a chance, they'll just end up ruining their little weird family structure, and Dogday and Mommy Long Legs calm them down.
Bobby Bearhug and Craftycorn are working with the other toys to see if they can make Angel realize they need to do something, because Prototype is NOT going to do ANYTHING because his therapy is going strong but his communication issues are stronger. Hoppy and Picky know all about it and try to make Prototype do something about it, while Kickin and Bubba are Dissapointed But Not Surprised at the Situationship going on. "Guess Dogday and Catnap aren't the only ones with communication issues...", they agree, not realizing they also have communication issues. Mommy Long Legs is losing her fucking mind because HOW can one household have SO MANY IDIOTS RUNNING AROUND AND WHY ARE HER ADOPTIVE PARENTS LIKE THAT. AAAAAA. It's good drama tho.
Poppy tasks herself with keeping tabs on what's happening between her two parents. Catnap is watching in the background like "stop being so dramatic over this, Pop, they're working adults, they sure can talk". He may or may have not be gathering information to share with the old ladies at the church he goes to, because those girls LOVE Angel and are all curious as to how their relationship with the kids' "second parent" going. Catnap never tells them much asides from "my mother is, once again, terrible at communication, but has been doing well", but even he starts getting a bit impatient at one point.
Prototype and Angel's big telenovela-level worthy of romance drama lasts a few months, mostly because they both need lots of time with themselves in order to figure out what to do, and also mostly because at some point Angel is pretty content with just being Prototype's non queerplatonic/romantic partner. They're just going with the flow, initial anxiety being left behind and all of that.
Also Angel is a really big freaking dumbass, because Prototype's way of affection is through pampering, and he has been pampering Angel for MONTHS at this point and our human just didn't notice it's not platonic pampering. Prototype gets them more than one flower bouquet and Angel is just "oh this will be very nice for the house, Bobby and Long Legs love red roses!", and he keeps giving them the bouquets because it makes Angel happy, thus making him happy.
No, Elliot doesn't realize Angel is also stupid. He just tries to flirt like it's the 1930s while Angel is flirting like "haha what if we were married. Just kidding! Unless...?"
I think Angel doesn't exactly confess to Prototype in a traditional way. One night they're both chilling at either the hut or Angel's room after a long day and Angel gathers the courage to ask him what they even are. "You're the children's Parent, and I am Elliot Ludwig". Angel reworks their question to be "I don't think we're just platonic friends anymore".
"Do you want to be more?", Prototype asks, hopeful. Angel pauses, then agrees. "Then we can be more". After some talk they settle on either queerplatonic or romantic - I don't know which one would work best, but I think they aren't just platonic or just romantic. Angel and Prototype understand and respect each other a lot, and their relationship, for me, can't be defined with a simple "it's romance" definition. They're just them, and that's what matters.
Also Prototype goes "I WAS TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION FOR MONTHS!" and Angel goes "I WAS REFERRING TO YOU AS MY HUSBAND ALL THE TIME AND YOU JUST THOUGHT I WAS JOKING AND BEING A SMARTASS????"
... Also Angel can wear a ring now! Prototype as well. They tell the kids about their new Situationship and Poppy very happily says "I won our bet!" to Catnap. Everyone else is glad for their parents but also their real-life telenovela is no more..,....
Anyways, I think this post is getting too long, I may share hcs about how their relationship works later, if anyone is interested!
#poppy playtime#save everyone au#poppy worldwide#the angel#experiment 1006#poppy playtime prototype#i'll convert this entire fandom to love this crackship#c'mon everyone we can do it#also girl help???? i need a ship name!#angel x prototype
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Ok this is a bit crazy BUT I was listening to "Before Lights out" which is one of my favorite AOT tracks. I really like this part:
All of my kingdom
For your return
I'd let it all burn!
I'd let it all burn!
Dear departed
I'll cry for you in a dream
Now I must rise to be queen
Be worthy!
Be worthy!
And I asume it's refering to Historia addressing Ymir (Correct me if I'm wrong).
But as I was packing orders tonight and I listened to it, I imagined a scenario in which Annie and Historia's characters are swapped, in which Historia is Marleyan and Annie is Paradisian.
This kinda also ties in with this headcanon where Annie is part of EMA with Eren and Mikasa since they were kids! And Annie befriended them when the two stopped Mr Leonhart from abusing Annie on the street one day.
Annie, just like in canon, is adopted by Mr Leonhart and trained up to become part of the military and basically enhance their family's status within the walls. She's also the main source of income in the house, which means she misses out on a lot of childhood activies until Eren and Mikasa start helping her escape the house from time to time and hang out!
Annie is an orphan, however later on we find out that she was actually the heir to the throne and she had been abandoned because she (let's say?) was kidnapped as a baby. The kidnapper would have used her for ransom, but for whatever reason (maybe remorse?) lost confidence and just abandoned the baby somewhere at the outskirts of the city. (Imagine if this would have been Kenny trying to get some sort of negotiation with the royal family).
In this universe Annie does not have the female titan, and instead maybe it would be Historia who has it. I mentioned Armin having it before, but it would also be interesting if there were 3 warriors+ Armin coming to Paradis, with Armin not having a titan, but being the brain of the operation. Expert in cartography, tactics, strategy etc. Coordinating everyone akin to a musical conductor. I know it would mess with the trio balance, but.... I like the Marleyan Armin + Paradisian Annie dynamic 🙏 so bare with me.
It would be so cool if Historia, the moment she arrived with Berthold, Armin and Reiner to Paradis, would have changed her name and personality to Krista Lenz. Maybe it's a coping mechanism due to trauma, kind of like Reiner's, but I like to think that she may have wanted to escape the life of Liberio and just start a new life somewhere else, no matter how short it would be.
Maybe her dad is just as much of an asshole/important person in Liberio. Maybe he's got lots of money for an Eldian, which gives their family a better standing. But Historia hates the way he looks down on other, less fortunate Eldians. He'd probably be friends with the Tybur family even?
Maybe there was no need for Historia to join the warrior program, other than to prove to herself that she can do things independently from her dad and her priviledged life.
Why not leave Liberio altogether instead? She probably has a fantasy of Paradis having no Eldian prosecution, the same way that Armin and Eren had a dream of peace outside the walls in canon. Maybe she thought that it was indeed, a paradise.
Also Historia, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt could make a cool team, especially maybe with Reiner always trying to look very strong in front of her and Historia being able to hold on her own, without his help. Bertholdt would pat Reiner on the back whenever he'd fail to impress her. Historia and Armin would be very close and chatty, since she feels comfortable around Armin, which makes Reiner very jealous.
As a side note, Yumihisu still happens, but the story could be that Ymir knows that Historia is hiding her real identity. Maybe Ymir actually remembers seeing the warriors as a titan outside the walls? Or maybe it was getting close to Historia that made her realize that she is also Marleyan. (Little slip ups in their conversations)
Ahh sorry I'm not coherent, not the best at pulling multiple strings together buuuut...
Where I want to go with this is, Aruani slowly happens over time, from Cadet to even later than canon, since when the female titan was captured, it was actually Historia, not Armin. At this point, Armin, Reiner and Bertholdt have to continue even after losing Historia to the crystal.
It becomes harder and harder for Armin to hide the secret they have as he opens up to Annie about more of his life. He almost tells her, until the night he finds out that Annie is the heir to the throne. What can Armin even do in this scenario? Tell her what?
And then to return to the lyrics from "Before Lights out", they could be Annie singing about Armin, who, after being caught together with Bertholdt and Reiner, runs away, leaving Annie's feelings behind, uncertain.
I imagine Annie, if she accepts her new role as a monarch, would be a lot more of an iron fist leader, absolutely no bullshit. She holds a bit of a grudge against Armin for leaving her behind, after opening up to him about her childhood. After being closer to him than anyone else before.
She WOULD literally burn down the whole kingdom to find him, haha.
But yeah, please tell me if this is super stupid, I wanted to get this out of my head since I've been daydreaming about it for a week now. Thanks for reading and I'd love to see what you guys think too! If you have ideas, drop them below!
#aot#attack on titan#snk#shingeki no kyojin#aot headcanons#annie leonhart#aot scenarios#armin arlert#aruani#historia reiss#krista lenz#ymir aot#reiner braun#bertholdt hoover#eren yeager#mikasa ackerman#aot au#my fic
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Hi this is just something I that I’ve been thinking of… not exactly a reqeust or anything. More like a topic for discussion. (I want to clarify that this is totally just a headcannon of mine and just an opinion lol)
Despite some people think about Touya, I think that if he was in a relationship with someone or fell in love with someone who truly loved him he’d be almost a people pleaser? But just towards said person. Because up until then he’s never felt love and he finally found approval from someone who loves him and excepts him and who is proud of him and I honestly think he would be really sad if he disappointed them. Because it would remind him of how he was a disappointment to his father.
There would definitely be some trauma resurfacing.
What do you think?
(Also sorry for my grammar lol)
I have also thought the same as well!! Dabi has that fear deep inside of him that you too will abandon him and replace him for someone “better”, he is constantly living with that dreadful feeling and no matter how much he ignores it, it’s still there. It triggers him and he loathes it, it reminds him of when he was a child, the person he looked up to the most and loved the most, his dad. He went out of his way to have his dad’s approval and make him proud, even harming himself and testing his limits, on his own, just to get back his dad’s attention and love.
The feeling of not being good enough always haunts him, like a dark cloud above his head that he can’t get rid of. He gets madly obsessed, in a very unhealthy way as his world now revolves around you, because you have accepted him for who he is and yet- the fears dont go away. He’s afraid you’ll change your mind one day, you’ll tire of him, you’ll find someone better, you’ll stop loving him, and he holds it against you. He hates you for something you might do, and hates that he loves you because when he does love someone he loves deeply, he feels everything intensely, he’s sensitive and dependent on you. He’ll unleash his anger at you too at times because of this.
Constant reassurance would be the only way to actually calm him down, make him understand that he’s more than enough, that he doesn’t have to try so hard to make you “proud” when you already are proud of him and love him so much. Tell him often how worthy he is, how strong and powerful he actually is, how smart and skilled he is, praise him and never stop showing your love to him, and I’m not saying to lovebomb him, but even through small acts he can tell that he is indeed loved by you.
He has lots of healing to do, lots of trauma within him, and I believe he’d become very toxic if he was in a relationship with someone (hence the reason why I love portraying Dabi as very possessive, extremely jealous, and yandere).
#B’s inbox 🦋#dabi#touya todoroki#mha dabi#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha#dabi x reader#dabi x you#touya todoroki x reader
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May Prompts
Today's prompt is: cold. (Apologies in advance for waving a cheery goodbye to the cold for a while, before it was brought back)
The Luckies Girl in the World (chapter six)
Summary: A visit to Sherlock's parents bestows Rosie with a pet name.
Six Years Old
I never found it weird that Papa called me Watson. It was his name for me, but some of my friends, teachers and apparently Sally Donovan, found it to be heartless and cold.
They all failed to discern the amount of affection and warmth in his voice when he addressed me as such. There was nothing cold about it.
Papa also used endearments like my heart and my precious girl, but only in private, which made them feel even more special. I never heard him call Dad anything but John, though he had a dozen different ways of saying Dad’s name.
***
Papa gave me a new name a warm summer day when I was six. We were visiting his parents, which I adored, he not so much. That’s what he claimed, anyway, but I saw how fond he was of them. They didn’t have that strong bond I had with my parents, but it more than sufficed, and Dad made up for it by being his wonderful self. Natural, friendly, helping in the kitchen and doing some of the heavier gardening for my grandmother.
Papa and his father had one particular interest in common. Bees. My grandfather had several beehives, and the first thing Papa did when we arrived, was to pester his father about the creatures he found so endlessly fascinating. Papa’s father was a patient man and answered all his questions meticulously.
Until then, I hadn’t been allowed near the hives, but this time, Pops, as I called him, had a surprise for me. My very own beekeeper suit, long gloves and a gigantic hat with a protective veil.
Papa was just as excited as me when I’d dressed myself, and the three of us walked into the garden to inspect the beehives. Not after Dad had taken endless pictures, though.
“Fascinating, aren’t they?” Papa murmured in my ear when Pops lifted out one of the frames where bees crawled around and buzzed.
I could only nod in agreement, because I couldn’t get my eyes off them. The hexagon pattern, the delicious honey they produced, their colour, how organised it all was.
At dinner that night, I told Dad all about my bee adventure, helped by Papa and Pops. When Granny served her famous honey cake with toasted almond flakes on top and vanilla ice cream for dessert, my day was complete.
“Is the honey from Pops’ bees?” I asked hopefully.
“Oh, yes, Rosie,” Granny answered. “Your Pops wouldn’t allow any other honey inside this house. Besides, it’s the best honey for miles.”
Pops squeezed her hand, and I sighed happily when I was granted a second slice of cake.
***
After that day, Papa started to call me by another name. Not that he discarded Watson altogether, but it was mostly limited to when he reprimanded me, so I guess it turned out to have a chillier effect on me in the end.
When he first used the new name in Dad’s presence, I could see tears form in his eyes.
“Bee,” Dad whispered. “What a beautiful and fitting name.”
“Indeed. You like it, don’t you?” Papa asked me.
“I love it,” I stated. “I’ve never had a pet name before, have I, Dad?”
“Not as such, love,” Dad agreed. “Do you want me to come up with something too?”
“Only if you want to. You call me love and sweetheart all the time in addition to my name, so it’s fine,” I told him.
“A rose by any other name would smell as sweet,” Papa recited.
“You and your Shakespeare,” Dad teased.
“Well, it is a nice quote, though I think an originally Danish saying, also used in Norway as far as I know, describes what I’m thinking about even better,” Papa retorted.
“Can you translate it into English?” I asked expectantly.
“Of course, Bee,” Papa replied. “A dear child has many names.”
Also available on AO3
(@s in the replies)
#may prompts 2024#day 6: cold#sherlock fandom#rosie watson#sherlock#john watson#grandparents#johnlock#bbc sherlock#sherlock fanfic#ao3 fanfic
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day 4 of being incredibly normal about hawks and endeavor (but mostly talking about manga spoilers in general):
mha is a story incredibly interested in exploring generational support, generational abuse, and what people pass on to each other (alongside hand motifs and showing the childhoods of different characters). you pretty much can't get through any arc without running facefirst into a plethora of examples, but ofa and afo are fun (and perhaps appropriate) places to start!
horikoshi features doomed siblings almost as much as he features terrible fathers, and these two are no exceptions. alongside those versatile hand motifs, afo literally uses his hands to take from others, while anything he has to "give" goes to those younger than him, and it's pretty much always a direct vehicle for trauma. it works well that he's lived for such a long time, literally sustaining his own life thanks to hoarding more and more power and resources for himself, while also giving him that age hegemony over all other characters we meet. he thusly kinda becomes the mustache-twirly Evil Dad² in a metaphorical sense, ruining the futures of others as he attempts to write his own narrative exactly how he wants it (storytelling is also a big theme in mha, go figure. when i consider that one definition of trauma--as something that disrupts the narrative one has of themself--and how AFO hands out trauma also as a way of commanding power and controlling the narrative, it really all comes together).
Yoichi is, of course, opposite in so many ways, centered around giving instead of taking. the inception of ofa began as a (very, uh, heterosexual i'm sure) act of granting freedom and sacrifice.
the ofa wielders don't just give their powers to the stockpiling quirk; they also give their lives, through combat or through cutting their lifespans or both. opposite to afo's Big Mean Father² lifespan, the lifespans of the ofa wielders are very short. they sacrifice their own futures to make the futures of others brighter. and of course, through the act of passing on the quirk, ofa necessitates an act of giving from one user to the next. it's a hand-off of counsel, support, and duty that helps shape each receiver into the best kind of hero they can be. afo passes down trauma, and ofa passes down tools for one's betterment. pretty standard parallels to how a bad caretaker/good caretaker can, even through a single act, shape an entire existence younger than them. relatable! trauma nation rise up!! 💪💪💪
with these themes in mind, then, it's a no-brainer as to why mha features so many godawful fathers (also i'd bet a hundred bucks horikoshi has daddy issues. a thousand. a trillion, honestly. gimme money). though relationships that fall outside the clear-cut power-dynamic of a parent to their child still carry these themes well. peer-to-peer,
sibling-to-sibling, etc., the list of other examples goes on and on!
endeavor's character certainly straddles a lot of these ideas, perpetuating a lot of column A (bad) and a bit of column B (good). he receives trauma from his father in the form of spiraling thoughts about failure and mortality (and maybe those two things are totally equivalent, right?) ((they're not)). his response to that trauma then goes far in the other direction, an obsession with herodom and invulnerability (especially avoiding or punishing emotional vulnerability) that passes the trauma right down to his family. in all his desperation to avoid the tragedy of his father's death, he ends up causing the tragedy to repeat itself, this time with touya's (apparent) death. it's even a direct result of the quirk he gave to touya. every intangible and tangible thing touya inherited from his father would only go on to hurt him, and the worst thing that could possibly have happened does indeed happen. instead of coming to terms with the fact that he gave touya the wrong things---trauma and a fire to burn himself with---he gives more of the same to shoto. surely the same tragedy won't repeat a third time. surely what he passes down to his youngest will make him come out of everything gloriously successful and *alive* (and those two things are totally, definitely equivalent) ((and again, they're not)).
what blows my mind is just how close the todoroki family was to witnessing yet another repeat of the tragedy--that they might have watched endeavor die while failing to save someone, just as endeavor had watched his own father do the same---and that they nearly had to bury touya a second time.
similarly, when it comes to the past transferring to the future, childhoods are the foundations upon which peoples's futures are built. characters are not only shown in a state of emotional vulnerability when in Baby Form, but are also responding to and trying to find answers to each others's traumas and core drives.
in a sense, they don't just inherit their worldviews from the prior generations, but from themselves. when we see endeavor confront his younger self, he isn't only killing off who he used to be, but also all the conclusions he had drawn from his own childhood--a rejection of what his trauma response got wrong. most people have to learn to stop being cruel to their inner child, whereas his inner child is the cruelest voice within.
anyway, for all the Bad Shit endeavor has passed on to the next generation, the future and hope he provides for hawks is something else. despite all white-knuckled efforts, he doesn't end up saving his family, nor himself, and certainly not touya, but he saves hawks, and that one instance contributes to the entire idea of ofa and the question of what different people can give to each other.
as invested as hawks is in the future, he initially keeps himself pretty distant when it comes to those younger than him. there isn't much explicitly given as to why, but it's pretty natural to assume that he really doesn't have the tools to pass on anything healthy--not after what he's been given by others. the one good thing he knows how to give is the one good thing he's received, which is the act of saving itself. being a pro is the only language he has for the longest time, and once his back's to the wall and he has to give tokoyami whatever he can, we see how readily he assumes that what he has to offer just isn't good enough.
(not only did his parents pass trauma onto him, but in valuing or devaluing his wings and thereby making his worth always conditional, they also affected what he could then pass on to others ((or at least, how he conceived of what he could give)).)
in my view, hawks gives tokoyami flight and endeavor support, and from tokoyami he receives the idea that he's someone worth looking up to and fighting beside despite his shortcomings, while from endeavor he not only got saved as a child but also receives a proof-of-concept of the ability to radically change, to wind up in a morally/emotionally better place than where one started. (he not only contrasts himself against shoto for the kid's ability to forgive/work with his parents, but notably contrasts himself against endeavor due to the latter's willingness to engage with his past, which he views as a vulnerability but also as something admirable.)
given keigo's middling age in the main cast of characters and the interesting space he occupies, it's fitting that he would ultimately act as a sort of channel between the generations of heroes as of the finale, retaining some of the value from what came previously while also helping guide what comes in the future.
#oh god these just keep getting longer and longer#mha manga spoilers#also shout-out to tenko for being the prime example of the hands and passing-down motif#like my guy inherited so much trauma and literal destructive ability that he is the ultimate Hand-Imagery Man of anime#which is seriously saying something#*slaps roof of tenko* this anime lad can fit so many fucking f̷̼͎̄̍i̵̦̓n̶̡̫͍̦̱̎̑̍g̸̣̰̳̪̯̑̐͠e̶̡̢͎̬͂͝r̴̔͑̊̽͜s̸̞̳͉͓̅́̏͘͝ in him#take that as you will ig idk#endhawks#if you squint#honestly if someone responded with just “not reading that essay” they'd be so right and i'd have nothing but respect
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coriolanus snow sfw alphabet
A = Affection (How affectionate they are)
this definitely depends on coriolanus’s mood but i think he wouldn’t be too affectionate. he would want to wait to be affectionate until he genuinely feels the need to be. usually early mornings are when he’s most affectionate. i can see him being such a touchy feely person in the morning.
B = Best Friend (what they would be like as a best friend)
coryo as your best friend would be very protective. if you go to him exclaiming that you’re really upset over something, he will be there for you and listen to you. he may judge you a bit but he will listen to you. and if someone messed with you, he would threaten to kill that individual lol.
C = Cuddles (Do they like cuddles?)
coryo loves cuddles! i think he would pretend as though he doesn’t but he’s naturally very cold (comes with years of poor diet) so when you’re next to him, he just wants to cling to you like a koala because you’re so warm and it makes him feel so good. he’s especially cuddly in the mornings.
D = Domestic (do they want to settle down, how are they at cooking and cleaning?)
coryo is the type to want to settle down and get married. however, i don’t think he would be a good cook. i think he would try but it would be pretty bad. and he would go “well at least it’s edible, better than nothing.” as for cleaning, he craves control and power and cleaning gives him that control and power so he would be very good at it.
E = Ending (if they broke up with their partner, how would they do it?)
probably in a very nonchalant sort of way. he would look them in the eye and just go “i don’t want to be with you anymore.” with no further explanation. or it could go really toxic. i think it all just depends on the reasoning for the breakup tbh.
F = Fiancé(e) (how do they feel about commitment?)
coryo loves the idea of commitment. someone being so totally down bad for him that they want to marry him? he’ll likely propose within a year of the relationship because he wants to have a wife or significant other someday. whether he feels for that person or not doesn’t particularly matter to him.
G = Gentle (how gentle they are emotionally and physically)
coryo isn’t too gentle emotionally and physically. he’s very impulsive and doesn’t communicate well. so i think when he expresses himself, it comes off much harsher than anticipated. same goes with physical things as well. like if he wants you close to him, he will indeed just grab you and pulled you towards him lol.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? What are their hugs like?)
coryo loves hugs but will never admit it. his favorite kind are just walking up to you and wrapping his arms around you while his chin rests on your shoulder. his hugs are actually either gentle or very tight. and regardless, he gives good hugs.
I = I love yous (how fast they say the L word)
giggles. he’d be the type to say it really fast whether he means it or not. he just wants you to stay with him. and to do that, he would tell you he loves you within a few weeks to a month of him being with you.
J = Jealousy (how jealous do they get?)
he’s so jealous!! coryo is a very possessive person. when someone is his, they’re his only. so he would get very jealous.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? where do they kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)
ugh okay so his kisses are literally the best kisses ever. he kisses you like he’s a starving man that needs you to breathe. like you are his air. you could easily get lost in just kissing coryo. he loves kissing your lips and he loves when you kiss his cheek.
L = Little Ones (how are they around children, do they want children?)
coryo would want children for sure. and i actually think he would be a really good dad. in the book, he was really good with maude ivory who is just a child. so i think coryo would be really sweet with his own children. he would never let them see into his world and world want his kids to be happy and healthy.
M = Morning (how they are in the mornings)
coryo is so cuddly in the mornings. he’s to type to just koala cling himself to you just to get you to stay in bed with him. and if he has to get himself ready, he would be very pouty while he does so. he’s not much of a morning person as he prefers to stay up at night. but he’s super cuddly in the mornings.
N = Nights (How they are at night)
coryo is very intimate at night. and that is all i will say about that lol
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
coryo isn’t too open about himself in general. it would take a long while before he opened up emotionally. like he will need to make sure you’re 100% loyal to him and that he can trust you with his whole being before he could say anything about his childhood or his inner thoughts. he isn’t trusting of people.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
coryo is easily angered i feel. he is quick to resort to being annoyed and frustrated when things don’t go his way.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
he has a really good memory and would remember the things you love or the things you do. he may forget stuff here and there but he will always remember the things such as your favorite flowers, how you like your tea, how you like your coffee, your favorite meal, what jewelry you like and such. he will remember the small details that makes him love you.
R = Remember (Favorite memory about your relationship)
coryo’s favorite memory would be before you guys got together emotionally. whether you’re already in an arranged marriage, best friends, or rivals, there would’ve been this one time where he had fallen ill. and you took care of him by bringing him home or to your place and you just had him rest. and it meant so much to him.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
coryo is very protective. it may get annoying at times because you’ll be like out shopping and when you get home, he would ask you each store you went to. but it’s just because he’s paranoid and doesn’t want to lose you or have you get hurt in any way, shape, or form.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
coryo is so good at dates, anniversaries, gifts, etc. he wants you to be completely infatuated with him and so he does everything necessary to ensure that. you want to create meaningful gifts for your anniversary? he’s got it covered. you want to go on the most romantic, candlelit dinner ever? done. he sees flowers that he thinks you will like? he’s already bought them.
U = Ugly (What are some of their bad habits?)
coryo’s bad habits are: manipulative, possessiveness, jealousy, grabbing your shoulders a little too aggressively, etc. but he has really good habits too!
V = Vanity (How concerned are they about their looks?)
coryo is very concerned with his looks. it is what helped him get through being so poor.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
this definitely depends on the dynamic but once he’s in love with you, you’re in his heart forever and he cannot let go. so if you guys end up not together any longer, he would feel empty and would see signs of you everywhere.
X = Xtra (Random headcanon)
there was this time when you guys visited district four after he became president and you went to the ocean together. and you definitely pushed him into the water so he pushed you into the water and you guys just forgot about your lives for awhile.
Y = Yuck (What are some of the things they don’t like?)
coryo doesn’t like beating around the bush. he needs things to be blunt and direct. he also doesn’t like when you’re not taken care of at all. i also feel like he’s the type to not like messes outside of what you guys do sexually
Z = Zzz (Sleeping habits)
coryo’s sleeping habits include him just holding you while he sleeps on his side. but he also likes it when you hold him. he wants to be the little spoon sometimes
#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#coriolanus snow#coriolanus snow x reader#thg tbosas#thg#fanfic#coriolanus snow x you#young coriolanus snow#young president snow
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........so what do u think peglar's childhood was like? 👀👂
WELLLLLLLLLL......
so his dad was a gunsmith in westminster & henry was the younger sibling of two (elizabeth was a few years older than him, and she also received henry's arrears from the franklin expedition after everyone was pronounced lost & dead. she was married at this time and was henry's immediate next of kin. so presumably their parents had died by this point...) but he and elizabeth got dunked in a 2-for-1 baptism like john torrington & his sister did tho which is so funny. pov you have one baby and underestimated how much work babies actually are, so you forget to get it baptized on time, and then by the second baby rolls around you've got a better grip on parenting, so you take both kids in on the same day. lmfao.
anyways back to the childhood tho. they lived like... a few blocks away from the river thames so he'd probably already had a fondness for water, i think, just based on my own childhood of having two older brothers and living near a semi-important river (lol)
but that made me wonder if like... he and elizabeth ever played army...? because i definitely was made by my brothers to play army and soldiers a fair amount. and if my dad was a gunsmith and i was an opinionated little freakboy who wanted to be a navy sailor when i was older, i'd definitely try and sneak into dad's work and play pretend a little bit. and i wonder if sarah peglar (mum) ever scolded him for not including elizabeth or vice versa when they was out playing with the neighborhood kids...
they lived in a pretty well-populated neighborhood and he attended the blewcoat school "for poor families" WHICH ALSO ALLOWED GIRLS TO ATTEND so maybe henry and elizabeth went there together. cmon get up we have to walk to school on timeeeee. i think he was probably a little bit dyslexic tho based on how his spelling was in 1845-47... i think the only formal education for reading and writing would have been at this blewcoat school in westminster , so i wonder if the writing backwards was a trick he pulled out to impress his classmates... don't notice how bad his spelling test grade was!! just look how cool and clever harry is!!! he can write a whole paragraph backwards!!!! whoaaah!!!! idk i just hope he had a gang of friends he was running about and causing silly lad antics with. i hope elizabeth followed them around and was begrudgingly included in the antics because they were supposed to be keeping an eye on each other during the afternoons or something. based on the amount of times he mentions keeping an eye on his friends on terror / mentions tom by name in the wallet papers i think it's not too hard to imagine henry was protective over people he loved.... i assume this extended to his sister, too. also like.. not that this was his childhood necessarily, but his dad's gunsmith shop was literally down the road from the big ben clocktower which would have been under construction (1843) during the same time he was ashore between ships (post hms wanderer & pre hms terror) so i wonder if he ever went home to visit the family and was like FUCCKKK SORRY I'M LATE FOR DINNER TRAFFIC SUCKED. CONSTRUCTION FOR THAT CLOCK IS SO ANNOYING. that would be very funny to me.
ok anyways back to childhood: john peglar (henry & elizabeth's dad) voted for francis burdett so there's at least some indication that their household was like... fine with being politically radical and heavily opinionated. (i would also point out that there's a fair amount in henry's wallet and diary that's just him having a gossip session by himself. opinionated indeed.) but also henry doesn't seem the type to really get into trouble tho... based on his career history he generally rolled his eyes kept his head down and did his job unless he was pushed hard enough, in which case he had no problem speaking out. in 1833 on the marquis camden, henry was lashed two dozen times for "drunkenness and mutinous conduct" but i've also read that the captain of the ship at the time was a Notorious Asshole Who Loved To Use Lashing As Punishment? so jumping to conclusions without real evidence, i think henry probably saw his fellow ABs getting treated badly by the captain, had 3 more beers than he should have, and said FUCK THIS GUYYYY!!!!!!! and then got punished for it. we're not going to think about the lashing scars opening back up again in the arctic btw. so anyways the point of all this is to say i think henry was probably fine with protesting when things suck, which he probably learned from his dad. maybe there were nights when john and sarah were talking politics and henry sat on the other side of the wall listening when he wasn't supposed to. maybe elizabeth would come sit with him and he'd have to shush her because neither of them were supposed to be listening because it was past their bedtimes but they sat and listened together anyways. scurried back into bed trying not to get caught even though john and sarah definitely knew they were there.
but also he was 13 when he entered the marine society ("a charitable organization for helping destitute boys and training seamen") so maybe he saw the navy as a chance to help out his lower-middle class family..... maybe they had a hard time and henry wanted to help out now that he was sort of almost grown up!!! and he clearly excelled thru this sailor training camp because after a month they tossed him onto hms solebay where he would have learned more hands-on stuff about working on a ship. knots and such. maybe this is where he realized how good he was with ropes... he could have been the best lad in his "class" when it came to knots etc. he also would have learned properly how to use a gun here, but again, his dad's a gunsmith. he probably would have had an experience advantage over most of the other boys w/ shooting and loading and managing a gun as a tool. so it's not surprising i think that he was in and out of 'training camp' really quickly. his first real ship was hms clio and he was a spare ship's boy and quickly got transferred to hms magnificent, WHICH WAS A HOSPITAL SHIPPPP and worked in the sickbay as a ship's boy and was earning a real paycheck. in my heart this was probably a very formative experience, and gave him a basic understanding of medicine/nursing? which i bet came in handy during the expedition when things were getting desperate and everyone was sick. i know amc had bridgens playing pinch-hitter nurse for terror camp but i wonder if in real life, maybe henry took up that role? maybe he even managed to keep his own illness under wraps for longer than most of the other expedition men Because he could recall things he learned on hms magnificent... idk.....
anyways at this point we start getting into henry's teen years. does this count as childhood? he saw two men get killed by lightning strike at age ~16 and he jumped around between ships pretty often and his conduct was generally either 1) bored and unremarkable or 2) normal and good :) and then he got lashed for being a petulant "mutinous" teenager who likes beer too much, as previously mentioned, and afterwards he just kind of hangs out until he's 22 and joins the gannett and meets 💞thomas armitage💞 and now i need to stop typing . lest i begin rpf-ing on main a little bit too much.
ok thanks ummm he's my most special guy unfortunately. henry my best friend henry :-(
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So! Sesame Street! Everyone's favourite fun and educational kids show featuring the beloved muppets we all know and love.
As we all know (or should know), Jim Henson helped create Sesame Street's vibrant and lively streets when he suggested the use of muppets on the show, hence why the show is full of cute and hectic muppet characters.
And, much like The Muppets themselves, once their show got big they transitioned into movies.
In 1985, Sesame Street made its first feature-length film, and it was called "Follow That Bird".
I will preface this by saying, yes, I did have to buy it on Amazon for a whole £6, and yes, it was definitely the best £6 I've ever spent. I saw one clip on Tiktok and knew I need to watch it because, from what I saw, Big Bird does indeed get taken away by a Child Protective Services esque group.
The movie opens up with a group of birds called the Feathered Friends having (what I assume to be) a weekly meeting. They mention how they deal with cases of birds needing to be placed (an adoption agency of sorts) with new family's.
This weeks case just so happens to be Big Bird.
The group of birds are- for some unknown reason- extremley bigoted about birds being around any non birds. When they see that Big Bird lives alone and doesn't have any birds living nearby, the Feathered Freinds decide he should be placed with a family of birds. So one of these birds, named Miss Finch, takes it upon herself to go and find Big Bird to get him with a family of his 'own kind'.
Now, I will admit, I do agree that Big Bird just living on his own basically in the street is a concern considering he is 6 years old. At the same time, I assume these birds age differently? I mean, he has a grandma. If Big Bird HAD to live with a guardian, surely he would be with his grandma? And if he didn't like Sesame Street, he wouldn't be there.
And yeah, I know I'm looking way into this, but leave me alone. Let me autism about this.
Anyway, Miss Finch makes her way to Sesame Street and basically gaslights Big Bird into leaving Sesame Street. And jesus christ- the tears I had rushing down my cheeks as Big Bird said goodbye to Snuffalupagus? I could have filled a bath tub.
Big Bird clearly doesn't really want to leave, but he also wants to have a family. A mom, a dad, a sister and a brother. He wants to be with other birds. He wants to be around others that understand.
And so he gets on a plane, and heads to Illinois. Miss Finch places him with a family of Dodo's (I have no idea why they are Dodo birds), and so ensues his new happy life. Almost.
He sends a letter back to his friends that, in summary, tells them about how nice the family are but that he isn't happy, and questions if there is something wrong with him.
Like, he writes "I should be happy. What's wrong with me?" and it is the most heart breaking thing, but something that is still so relevant a feeling.
I think it's a feeling alot of kids could probably understand, and a feeling most teenagers, adults and anyone else can too. A feeling that is relevant for so many people, and they have it in a kids film?
I have watched ALOT of movies and TV shows, and honestly, this movie somehow portrayed the feeling of "not fitting in" so much better than anything else I've watched. Maybe it's because it's meant to be understanded by kids, or maybe it's because I want to protect big bird at all costs, but seriously- the do such a good job of it.
We then see Snuffalupagus listening to the letter being read, and this makes him decide that he is going to visit Big Bird, so writes his own letter back. Well, its a post card, but still.
When Big Bird gets it, naturally, he is thrilled. His best friend wants to come see him? Why wouldn't he be excited! But, very quickly, the Dodo's shut that idea down and came that Big Bird needs new bird best friends.
Now, Big Bird gets upset a this. Again, naturally, but instead of listening to his feelings- the Dodo's just decide they will go and look for worms instead- cause what else would Dodo birds be doing?
So Big Bird decides to run away, making his way back to Sesame Street.
This, for some reason, makes headline news and none other than Kermit the Frog himself tells the story. Everyone back in Sesame Street watch in horror as they see their friend has run away, and all quickly gather to start the hunt and find him because Miss Finch does, wanting Big Bird home and safe.
Which, I'm going to be open and honest, was the best thing that ever happen. The groups that go off to look are hilarious, and not only that, the cars?
The Count heads off in his car, which I now need, and so does Oscar, another car I now need. (Sadly, I won't let me put the photos, but go look at those cars. They are amazing.)
Cookie Monster, Gordon, Olivia and Linda (I believe that's their names) head off in someone's borrowd car, and I shit you not, every shot you see of it- Cookie Monster has eaten something off it. Seriously.
Burt and Ernie decide to help, and take to the sky's in an aeroplane (and, needed to mention this, spot Big Bird, ONLY TO STOP TO SING A SONG AND LOSE HIM), while Super Grover comes to help by flying the same way Gordon and his crew are going.
Look, Super Grover is doing his best. Yes, he thinks the yellow car is Big Bird and crashes into it, but he has spirit and hope and that's all we can ask.
Anyway, they all head off in search for Big Bird, while Miss Finch does the same.
Obviously, they all spot Big Bird but somehow still just miss him, and noone knows where he is until two young kids manage to ask Big Bird if he is okay, because he was literally kidnapped, and they managed to call Mr Hooper's to tell them his message.
Your thinking, "How was he kidnapped?", and I'll tell ya.
When the headline breaks that an 8 foot, 6 year old, bright yellow Bird has run away, two men that run a shitty fun fair decide they will capture him to use as an attraction.
Like everyone else, they somehow find him but can't get him, until Big Bird just wonders up to them and asks for help to hide from Miss Finch. He then WILLING walks into a cage, and watches them lock it, before only realizing he is in danger clearly several hours later.
They then dye Big Bird blue....for some reason... and make him sing the single most depressing song of the entire movie. He sings his sad heart out to 100 kids, and only 2 of them decide "Huh, somethings wrong, he seems sad.", even though he is crying? I mean, good these 2 kids noticed, but do none of the others even give a shit?
So, the 2 kids talk to Big Bird, and they manage to tell the others back at Sesame Street where he is.
Everyone hears, rushes to the fun fair THEY PASSED EARLIER, and so ensues the funniest shit I've ever watched.
So, they try to be all sneaky to break Big Bird out, but because they are all from Sesame Street, none of them can actually keep quiet.
Cookie Monster sees cookies and, obviously, goes insane over them and trys to steal them. Super Grover decides to try and break the bars of the cage and, obviously, fails. The Count, obviously, counts every single key they try to free Big Bird and, obviously, in the end they all end up waking the two brothers.
Now, instead of just- I don't know- stepping out of the now open cage, Big Bird just stays in there as the brothers start the car (that the cage is attached too) and then is more worried about the safety of the now ope door of the cage while on the road.
Then, when Gordon goes to safe him, he once again is more worried about safety. After like- 2 minutes- he finally jumps onto the other car and BOOM!
Big Bird is saved!
A few mentions of scenes that aren't related to the story but are 100% worth talking about.
There is a lettuce fight in a grouch restaurant, wich is hilarious. Big Bird just doesn't care about stranger danger and gets into a random dudes truck, in which he realizes the Bird is the missing one from the news, and just doesn't care? Instead sings a song about basically continuing on the road he is on. The last honorable mention is John Candy popping up at the end as a cop to arrest to 2 brothers, and for some reason, launches the kid the identifies them? I mean, go find the clip, cause its hilarious.
Now, I want to very quickly say that- for a film in the 80s? It is kind of progressive? They make a point of having this group of birds, and the birds that Big Bird gets placed with, be very bigoted towards non birds while having Big Bird obviously not caring who anyone is.
Which really is the main message. You should never judge someone because of who they are, what the look like, what they like, etc. It's about loving people because of who they are and how they treat you, not what they look like of it they are also a bird.
And, obviously, the discussion about adoption and found family are extremley prominent. It makes complete sense for a Sesame Street film to deal with found family and adoption- especially considering the different characters on the show.
Still though, and insane plot for a kids movie. Bird Protective Services? A lettuce fight? Road Safety?
So yeah. That's "Follow That Bird". The plot REALLY IS Big Bird getting taken by Child (Bird) Protective Services and proceeded to run away, walking all the way from Illinois to New York.
Seriously though, it's a good kids film. It has a really nice message and, honestly? Is really funny. Kids and adults can both enjoy it, and they should! Go watch it!
#sesame street#big bird#he is legit 6#get him parents#just not dickhead ones#kermit#kermit the frog#his cameo was stunning#follow the bird#sesame street follow the bird#oscar the grouch#cookie monster#the count#super grover#grover
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