#poor guy just wants a boyfriend
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marks boba eyes are making me feel extra bad for nick
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Augh
#fancy is really struggling#and the babies are lovely and just FASCINATING in how they developed around but not shaped by humans and i so very deeply enjoy them#but they are also a little ungovernable due to their age and general lack of caring about rules and they are bothersome and rowdy#and it is obviously so so hard on her and my heart is breaking because im afraid we wont be able to get her through this#and i will have to give the babies up#and...not have another cat#just one#i would be crushed#and added to all of that is that the babies are taking their time learning to be pets and that is fine and wonderful actually#but...i need surgery on at least one ankle and i won't be able to keep up with them if things haven't sorted themselves out by then#and they haven't become more manageable and fancy hasn't adjusted#so we are asking about meds for poor fancy and hoping that works#but she's really having a hard time guys and i am fighting so hard to cope in a household where i spend most of my time alone#with two animals who don't love me yet or interact with me like pets (i'm a source of three things: food and snuggles on demand and NO STOP#and one who is sad and not herself#and frankly it's terrible that i can't fix this#and i am trying not to lose my shit but this wasn't supposed to be so hard#and im afraid i may lose five cats and not three#and im already barely holding on#i don't know what to do and neither does my boyfriend#i don't want to turn around and have to tell you guys we can't keep the babies#i feel like i am failing at something i am supposed to be GOOD AT#i don't want to be in a house so empty#i can't live like that#having the babies is lovely#they're so alive and the boys were so sick by the end and the stress of the constant anxiety and grief as they faded away was crushing#even before they died#it's been so good to have them running about#i don't want to LOSE that#im so tired of LOSING things
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This is a continuation in exploring why I think Mike's character regression over the seasons can be explained in part by guilt, which he has yet to confront
Original post
Now we're onto s2, which jumps us ahead in the timeline a bit.
Mike has been calling out to El on the walkie for approx. 252 days now, under what he views as the false hope she might actually be alive. This is mostly based on the fact that Mike thought he saw El outside of his house a few hours after she 'died' (he did see her, bc she was there...) and so a part of him does think there's a chance. And yet this is also isn't something Mike seems to be comfortable talking about the others with.
Which brings us to the crazy together scene. Although this scene has a lot going on, there's one aspect of it in particular that I want to focus on, as it's the driving force for what is going to be discussed, which is that Halloween night was also the last night Mike called El, aka day 353.
I just want to preface what follows, with the fact that I do not personally think Mike giving up calling El, as a concept on its own, means that he couldn't possibly love El romantically or something. It's not even about that idea from an audience perspective. And this is because any average person, in reality, mourning someones' death, should not be calling out to that person for almost a year. Letting go doesn't make you a bad person, whether it was romantic, platonic or even familial. It's called healing and accepting what is and trying to move on and live your life.
Neither does Mike giving up after that night make him heartless or a bad character in my opinion. It literally just makes him human. But that also doesn't mean that's how Mike feels about it, nor does it mean that the manifestation of this guilt isn't going to affect his behavior over the course of the series, causing some very unfortunate choices on Mike's part to then lead to some very unfortunate events for everyone...
Where it starts to get sort of complex is that I think the whole point of the crazy together scene and where it ended up was to for it to showcase how Mike and Will were both willing to accept each other, despite these secrets they've been keeping to themselves.
Will revealed the truth to Mike about how he could still see into the UD, with the addition of seeing this big 'shadow in the sky', followed by asking Mike to not tell the others because they wouldn't understand. Mike then responds by saying El would understand, followed by confiding his own secret to Will that he's been keeping from the others, which is that he thinks he's seen signs that El could still be alive.
The scene then ends with them in agreement that if they're both going crazy, they'll go crazy together, with it arguably being their most incriminatingly romantic moment to date, as it juxtaposes other uncannily similar romantic mentions on the show involving that same word.
But no matter what happens, they're promising to support each other, specifically the weird shit they have going on and could presumably continue to explore that weirdness, without telling anyone else who might judge them for it or misunderstand their feelings entirely...
This is why Mike had no problem with Will going crazy in s2 because as promised, he was going to be right there with him. Also meaning, Mike COULD have had no problem continuing to test out his theory that El was alive, because Will would have supported him.
Obviously, Will sort of had his hands tied in s2 (literally?), but the point still stands. It's not like this was something Mike HAD to give up, because that conversation between him and Will instilled that they would support each other and what makes them feel crazy.
I think the issue though, is that what's causing Mike so much grief daily for almost a year now, is the guilt that came with El's death and him feeling responsible. And so, in contrast to Will's slightly more justified assumptions that what he's seeing could actually be real based on what's happened to him, it's like Mike is asking himself whether he's actually seeing El because she's still alive OR is he just imagining she's still alive because he wants to forgive himself?
A kid deducing that in their head would make them feel pretty awful, don't you think? Maybe even lead them to calling out to that person for almost a year in hopes that they might still be alive?
Meaning Mike choosing that night to walk away, to give up, is likely a result of his conversation with Will making him feel more comfortable with finally letting go of some of that guilt in order to actually start the process of moving on. Because a big part of why he didn't want to move on was because of guilt in the first place.
Also confiding in Will and only Will, not the others, who were hell bent on interpreting all of Mike's feelings for El as romantic, was maybe Mike's way of avoiding the pressure to associate his whole relationship with El as strictly romantic. With Will, maybe Mike knew he wasn't going to spin it into something like that. And he would’ve been right, because Will didn't.
October 30th, Halloween Night (Day 353 - Last call)
You cannot tell me that day 353 isn't framed as the last call. Like Mike is literally walking away dramatically, leaving El alone, with her now just a tiny dot surrounded by darkness. The way it's framed leaves the viewer genuinely feeling heartbroken because there's some very evident finality to what is being presented. And we even see that El feels it too, hence the episode cutting off dramatically with her tear filled eyes.
And so why did Mike choose THIS moment to give up? Why did he choose now to put his 353 day streak to rest? Like, that was impressive as hell. He could have easily kept that going, but instead he decided that this was going to be the last time he was going to try calling out to her...
November 1st (Day 354)
El is still pretty bummed that Hopper came home late last night, but I'm guessing she's even more bummed still processing what might have very well been Mike finally giving up that night too.
Although I don't think El would blame Mike for giving up, still, she too throughout all of this had been building up hope herself. El's been clinging onto the bond she made with Mike, specifically the romantic moments, to the point where she has been watching shows with romantic themes, putting herself in the position of the love interest.
So him not giving up, to El, has been a signal that what they are feeling between each other is very deep and... romantic. Him keeping this going this long is a sign to her that these feelings are pretty much guaranteed. And if he doesn't continue, that hope would obviously dwindle.
At breakfast that morning, Hopper acknowledges the TV cord peaking out of El's room, which is the device she uses to visit Mike from the void, all the way from the cabin. Without it, she is not able to 'communicate' with him, let alone see if he actually didn't give up after that night she feared he did...
Unfortunately her and Hopper have an argument after this, leading to her storming off to her room. And after Hopper is gone, El finds herself being so impatient to see Mike after almost a year of waiting, that she decides to take fate into her own hands. She isn't willing to wait until the evening, which is roughly speaking the usual time Mike uses the walkie to call her every night. She needs to see him now.
And lucky(?) for her, she does!
Finally! A SIGN! After almost a year of no signs that El is alive, since the night she went missing, Mike is getting a sign El is alive!
And he runs after it! He goes to check to confirm his (valid) suspicions, only for her to not be there, with Mike looking disappointed, but also kind of like he's accepted it's a lost cause at this point.
Mike's hope that El is alive and okay and the relief that would come with finally letting go of this massive weight of guilt, is not within reach. He just needs to accept it and let it go. He needs to forgive himself and move on.
On top of all of this, Will is experiencing his own version of crazy. And Mike seems more concerned with focusing on this and supporting Will, than holding onto this hope that El is alive.
So even though Mike just got a sign that El is alive (which parallels to the initial evidence of her being alive outside his house, what literally initiated him to call out to her for almost a year), he doesn't revert back to his approach of not giving up. He sticks by his decision.
The irony of what happens with El the same night that Mike doesn't call, for the first time, is not lost on me...
Tragically, El doesn't know Mike actually gave up (just like she feared he did) because she lost her ability to communicate with him that night.
I wonder how differently things would have played out if she new the truth. Would she have held onto this really romanticized idea of her and Mike's relationship because he never gave up? Or would she have maybe reassured Mike that it was okay that he gave up and moved past it and still hoped and tried to make it work? Honestly, I think the later.
Because again, it's not Mike giving up that makes him a bad person or something that refutes his ability to love her romantically, it just means that it's not true that he never gave up.
And Mike being the only person to know this fact... Um... Cannot be good for him.
October 2nd (Day 355)
As El is trying to revive a modicum of hope that she can see Mike again through the void, to confirm her hopes that he didn't give up, by using the TV like she usually does, she discovers that the cord is broken. It's a lost cause.
On the other side of town, Mike is entirely focused on Will. The previous night, he did not reach out to El. He gave up. And El is none the wiser.
The writers made the choice to have one more night that Mike could have called El because he was at home that night on day 354, a day that actually involved an incident that you'd think would have reignited his hope that she was alive, before he inevitably jumped head first into focusing on Will, with him not being home for the rest of the season. They could have shown us Mike calling out to El from the other side of town, and then cut to her in her room not knowing... And yet, they didn't...
This is where I jump to the end, because the focus primarily when it comes to El and Mike's arcs for the rest of the season are with El trying to find her mom and discover more about herself, while Mike is trying to be there for Will in any way he can.
The sad part is that despite Mike giving up and trying to move on from El's death, that guilt is never really going to go away. He gave El expectations that she had to risk her life to find Will, and all of that built up and inadvertently led to her death.
But maybe Mike can right the wrongs he had El endure by following through on his focus of not letting Will die too? Maybe if Mike can save Will, El wouldn't have died for nothing?
But with this guilt and Mike trying to overcorrect it all, he's also experiencing very real and emotional moments with Will. Will is his best friend, and just a year ago Mike risked everything to get him back. A lot of those moments he experienced with El in s1, moments mixed with romantic expectations, are now also lingering here with him and his friend in s2. Except these aren't forced expectations. Everything Mike’s feeling and doing the entire time comes naturally to him, with none of it requiring pushing or advice from those around him. It's just pure instinct.
In the end, Mike's beside Joyce and Jonathan, who are sharing memories they have with Will to him in hopes it will prove to them he's still in there and able to be saved.
This emotional sequence builds up to Mike using his own memory of Will to try to reach him, one that comes off as platonic in every sense of the word, but visually, and when looked at in the grand scheme of things, especially with what is about to follow and those romantic expectations with El soon being thrust back on him... Well... Shit is about to get real messy.
Upon reuniting with El, Mike was quick to want to tell her that he never gave up, only for her to interrupt him with the exact number of days he called (before he gave up).
This is news to Mike for an abundance of reasons. It means he's not crazy and that El actually was alive those two times he saw her. All this (survivors) guilt that's been building up over the last year could have been avoided if he'd known that she didn't die, that she was okay.
It also means that for some reason, El heard him, and yet she doesn't know that he gave up...
And here Hopper is, revealing that he's been hiding her the whole time aka the perfect person for Mike to take all of this pent-up emotion out on.
Hopper then tells Mike that they will discuss this privately, which I find to be very interesting because it offers a chance for the viewer to see just a glimpse into Mike's emotional state at this moment, without everyone around to affect his ability to truly open up about how he's feeling. And not alone just anywhere in the house, but in Will's room...
Mike is understandably upset because El is alive and Hopper knew this whole time and didn't tell him.
While Hopper didn't technically lie to Mike, at least not in canon because we never got an outright scene on-screen of Mike asking Hopper if El was alive with him denying it (all while knowing she was), it's at the very least a lie of omission...
But the thing is, if Hopper not clueing Mike in on El being alive qualifies as a lie of omission (off-screen), so does Mike not telling El he gave up (on-screen).
If anything Mike's lie of omission also qualifies as a plain old lie, because he outright told El he didn't give up (lied) and didn't correct her when she informed him she knew he didn't. She fully believed it, despite him knowing deep down that it wasn't the full truth.
So while Mike is taking all of his anger out on Hopper as this fighting match comes to a head, it takes a turn.
Hopper is fine with Mike blaming him, he says it's 'okay'. But it's not. Nothing about this is okay to Mike, seeing as this isn't even the whole problem. It's not the problem Mike's actually hiding within his outburst in the first place.
Suddenly Mike starts screaming to Hopper that he's a 'disgusting, lying, piece of shit', chanting LIAR over and over and over again, shoving him repeatedly, only for him to fall into Hopper's arms and start crying, with Hopper reassuring him that he's okay.
Something tells me Mike's emotions here aren't all about Hopper...
Something tells me that Mike's fixation with the word liar doesn't apply to Hopper here as much as it applies to Mike himself (in his eyes)...
The main reason why I think this is what's actually going on here, is because there was no reason to put so much emphasize on this concept of Mike literally walking away that last time he called her.
Why go through the trouble of creating this misunderstanding, by having the TV not work, with El not being able to go into the void to see Mike, THE very night he gave up, if to not plant the seed that this misunderstanding was going to bear some significance? That this misunderstanding (lie? lie of omission?) was going to lead to El assuming Mike didn't give up, all while Mike knows he gave up, but going along with the story that he didn't, for both El's sake and his own?
BECAUSE it's a surprise tool that will help us later!
I also think it's interesting that they decided to have Will go off and dance with a girl at the snowball BEFORE Mike decided to devote himself to El here on out. Like... that is quite the choice after a season of highlighting this bond between Will and Mike where they promise to go crazy together, which is a moment we know Will took romantically.... So, is it possible Mike also took it romantically? We know Will also took Mike's speech to him in the shed romantically, so is it possible Mike did too, with that experience only heightening his emotions and confusion over his feelings for El when he found out she was alive shortly after, leading to his outburst? But then Will is going and dancing with the girl, and here we have Mike's own version of falling behind (the Time After Time lyrics were more literal than you think).
What if they didn't do all of that? Would things have maybe panned out slightly differently if Mike wasn't under the (incorrect) assumption that Will didn't take those moments romantically?
While Mike's guilt might have started in s1, when he played the biggest role in pushing expectations onto El to help them find Will, only for her to 'die', it doesn't end there. Mike's guilt only builds when he holds the knowledge that he did give up hoping she could be alive, all while allowing El to believe the opposite based on what she saw, which was a guiding force for not only her love and dedication to him flourishing, but also for him to then shift his own version of expectations onto himself going forward to make it up to El by trying to be who she wants him to be.
We see how romanticized 353 days is interpreted exclusively as meaning Mike has to be in love with El. But he did give up. So what does that mean for all of this? For their picture perfect love story?
What does it mean for Mike to hold onto this truth, a truth that makes him feel immense guilt, only for him to spend the next year or so making it up to her...?
It means either Mike has to come clean, or he has to deflect and double down.
What option do you think a guilt-ridden, repressed homosexual kid in the 80's is going to choose?
Answer? Deflect and double down.
In s3, Mike is so focused on worrying about El (giving her what he thinks she wants) so he can right all the building up of wrongs he has done at her expense since he met her, and as a result loses Will in the process (where have we heard this before...?)
Instead of Mike having a moment in s3 where he acknowledges that he himself was the first to ever refer to El as a weapon in the first place, to try to save Will in s1, he's now turning around and blaming the others for using El as a weapon 'for no reason'...
No reason? Really Mike? Is it for no reason, or is it just not a good enough reason to you this time?
Or maybe has Mike just actually spent enough time with El now to truly feel a bond with her in order to see her as a full person, slightly outside of this imaginary superhero he's cooked her up to be when he met her that day in the woods, the day his life started because she was his first and only hope of finding Will? (I say slightly bc... I mean we all saw what happened in s4?)
I honestly think it's a mix of both...
I also think it's not a coincidence that Mike doubling down instead of facing the truth about this manifestation of guilt only makes things worse for him. And El. And Will.
Because suddenly he's choosing this moment to blurt out that he loves and can't lose her again, in front of everyone, even to his own dismay and shock. And when El walks in and gives him a chance to say it to her himself, like any person whose in love with someone would want to do, to make them feel loved, he looks terrified.
And when the season ends and Mike is given another chance to say it finally, to El directly, in roughly the exact same spot he had his emotional outburst in the previous season over finding out she was alive at the same time he was still grappling with losing Will again, IN WILL'S ROOM, he freezes. He just lets what happens, happen.
Because after everything, with El right now in front of him, telling him she loves him while being fully convinced he loves her too after everything they've went through, how could he possibly take it back, or try to make her understand his complicated feelings about all of this?
Answer? He can't.
As hard as it is to believe (not that hard honestly based on his track record), Mike's deflection and stalling era is just beginning...
#byler#stranger things#mike wheeler#st analysis#it's just a tragic bizarre love triangle ok it's doing it's job#anyways#mike is a repressed coward#but also a guilt ridden child#both can be true at once#doesn't make him a bad person#just makes him a human with poor choices#and when you make some of the choices he's made and refuse to confront them for what they are#and choose to keep doubling down and stalling instead of facing that truth#the truth will eventually come to bite you in the ass#especially when there is a bad guy that feeds off guilt..#like i'm sorry mike but you're toast#he can try to deny it all he wants (granted he doesn't have much time at this rate...)#he can try to be the perfect boyfriend he thinks el deserves#he can try to convince himself that writing to el is his way of being devoted to her in the way that a boyfriend is supposed to be#and simultaneously not write to will bc that's romantic and that's a gesture reserved for el ('ThAtS bEcAuSe ShE's My GiRlFrIeNd WiLl!')#and compensate in his own mind by calling will a bunch#hoping his friend will answer so that he can convince himself they're still platonic and do this all the way he's supposed to#but dude...#why didn't you tell will you called?...#why didn't you tell el you stopped calling?...#i think i have an idea...
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My roommate is fighting with her boyfriend but I just keep thinking about having the police called at your wedding because you and the groom are having some, major break-up worthy fight and are throwing cake and champagne glasses at each other... but the closest officer is technically a pro-hero (Kirishima? Bakugo? Both?) who shows up expecting a criminal rather than a would-be bride sobbing in their arms
#'i just wanted to be happy' mascara all smeared cake all over your hair and dress#and suddenly they arent a hero just a guy wiping your face clean in the church's bathroom#and it feels a little too holy to be real#esp when the groom comes a knocking and has to deal with a protective pro hero who just wants you to stop crying#and tbh? thinks you were right for starting a fight#anyway my poor roommate but her boyfriend is a loser#shii posts#gen
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HL Incorrect Quote #65
*in the crowded Great Hall*
Garreth: Guys, I can't find Imelda.
Sebastian: Don't worry. I got this. *cups mouth* Garreth is an idiot!
Imelda in the distance: WHO SAID THAT? WHEN I FIND YOU, I WILL- *starts yelling obscenities in Spanish*
Garreth: Found her! Thanks.
Sebastian, paling: It was nice knowing you.
#angry imelda is a scary imelda#She's just protective of her boyfriend#Who is dense and oblivious sometimes but not a complete idiot#I also headcanon Imelda is bilingual in Spanish#rip sebastian tho#poor guy just wanted to help his friend#Garrelda#garreth x imelda#imelda x garreth#garreth weasley#imelda reyes#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy incorrect quotes#hogwarts legacy#slytherdor
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aurghhh ok still rewatching '97 and the way guts and casca only have the room to breathe and really come to understand and care for each other in griffith's absence because he has such a strong hold over them both.... and the way their mutual dedication to him is what causes them to bicker for years (casca thinks he's not serving him well enough, guts thinks she doesn't get that he cares/how much he cares, casca's jealousy over griffith's feelings for guts, how he won his heart without even trying or being aware of it or doing anything with it) and is also a big part of what brings them together (earlier when guts deviates from the plan to save griffith and she commends him, in the cave casca opening up about griffith and her's past, showing that vulnerability, while it's mostly confrontational, leads to guts kinda getting her better, and his efforts to save and protect her (falling off the cliff with her, taking on the 100 men so she can escape, encouraging her to return to griffith so she can help him because it's what she feels she's meant to do (her dream, the direction in life guts shares and yet is questioning because of griffith's speech at the fountain, whether or not it's enough to serve him if it means he'll never be a true friend in griffith's eyes because he's not an equal), supporting the idea of her being with griffith/being his most important person like he won't because he doesn't view it as a competition like she has been since day one) leading to her realizing that he's kind of not that bad a guy and they have a lot more in common that she thought. and how the bonfire of dreams conversation is guts opening up to her in kind, the answer to her talking about how griffith saved her, how she feels. how neither of them ever call it love but it's something they know they both have for griffith. how it's something they're beginning to have for each other, different in ways they couldn't put a word to. because they're equals this time. the way griffith kind of becomes less and less important as they find other reasons to live and fight, as they become less singularly obsessed with him. how griffith is unable to stand it, guts' personhood, that agency and peer-to-peer equality he claimed to want (and perhaps truly did) that disappeared guts from his life, his plans, his side. how it barely even matters to griffith how casca changes because he never wanted her like she wanted him. god i can't fucking stand their shakespearean nonsense drama (<- hopelessly in love with their interpersonal dynamics)
#god they're the only healthy part of this unholy mind-palace love triangle/throuple aren't they#they could have been the worst qpr/throuple in your social circle. like just insufferable when they're not getting along#if griffith hadn't [oh god oh fuck oh jesus christ] all over everything even remotely good in his life anyway#poor casca's in love with a gay man and then falls for his not-quite-boyfriend and when not-quite-boyfriend reciprocates said gay man fucki#g. Does The Eclipse Stuff. at least partially to get back at you two. oh my godd#i'm sorry i'm so not normal about them. it's starting to leak out into the blog bc i'm finally having a Berserk Moment since starting tumbl#but whewwwww. gotta get this outta my system#hope this wall of text makes sense oops <3#berserk#berserk 1997#how do i even tag their thang. their disastrous just horrible agonizing 3 guy dynamic. hm.#gutsca#griffguts#don't even know if anyone tags for griffith and casca. fair because 1) he raped her. yikes 2) he just straight up isn't into her#and i don't know if there's a tag for the three of them but trial and error led to nothing#but i wanna talk about their dynamic. their. (gestures wildly) whatever. it's not about thinking griffith should kiss anyone it's about lik#the agony. the pining and the torment and whatever miura so beautifully crafted for me specifically. sheesh#hope it's clear that i Don't Want Them To Be An Uwu Little Polycule Bc Casca Should Not Be In A Cutesy Throuple With Her Rapist#it's more that i think they kind of are or almost are part of this (gestures wildly again). Thing. with each other and i wanna talk about i#same with griffguts like oh man they should NOT be in a relationship. but i have this deep intense Need to study them and frankly they're#kind of crazy about each other for a while. like they care about each other so so much it's crucial to all three of their characters.#so it's kind of unavoidable. and i wanna talk about it. and have this read by people who also want to talk about it. yeah? yeah.#(and yeah i think griffith raping casca was about her and guts. like 'fuck you for making him okay with leaving me' type of vibe. even#though it wasn't her fault he's just. god. but it sure as hell isn't Mostly about casca because griffith's making eye contact like the Whol#time with guts. he makes him watch. it's just. shooooooooooo aughhhhghhghh fucking. jesus christ. that or it's the fear that his two most#important pawns are going to leave him Together and he just. can't deal with that. especially after the torture internment thing.#he's so weak and he was so close to his dream and now it's falling apart and they're leaving him and he can't even move. it's about making#damn sure they can't escape him or forget him ever again.#or maybe it's even a 'you can't have her she's mine' to guts but it's still largely like. spiteful/about possessing her as a soldier/human#because i don't think you could convince me it's about having her as a lover or about controlling/hurting/possessing her body.)
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One thing oden and ace teach us is that bad bitches go early so you can understand how worried I am for nami....
#oden asking if they still love him after beating a whole village of criminals up as the sun rises behind him...#oden sama..... 20 (maybe???) father of like 5 and boyfriend to many#KIKUS SISTER(BROTHER I DONT REALLY KNOW) IS THE ONE ON THE WHITEBEARD PIRATES???? KIKU IS THE LITTLE ONE!!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 962#another oden panty shot....#another oden panty shot as he begs for shirohige to take him to the sea with him.... which could mean anything...#marco teasing shirohige about liking oden.... this cant be true...#how is izu jumping that much omg... we ard not taking oden but this random samurai will do#toki can fight??? oden like that akdhakshdkshsks he looks like the harkonnen guy akdjajaja#he has sanji's radar.... amazing#episode 963#shirohige is gonna break down when he finds out oden left him for a woman.... so sad....#also the size difference.... poor woman.....#shirohige came back for him omg.....#THE BLONDE GUY WITH THE LASHES AND THE WOMAN WITH BLUE HAIR ARE FRANKYS PARENTS RIGHT???#already having babies in year 2..... momo was born in shirohiges boat... legend#orochi chosen as a substitute for oden omg.....#FUCKING TEECH!!! DIEE!!!! I CURSE THE DAY SHIROHIGE LET YOU ON HIS SHIP#episode 964#OROCHI DIEEEE CHALLENGE!!!! but this scene with the witch is a banger... such a shame he is a pathetic villain i mean he could be scary and#with his power he is..... facades and all....#sukiyaki coughing sounds like that GOO GOO GOO GOO cupcakke sound..... maybe its just me...#THEY KILLED SUKIYAKI ALREADY???? OMG ODEN!!!#why is he-man on shurohiges crew akdjsks... also so funny there is just a royal family in there...#roger talking about how his time is coming and he wants to fight shirohige again.... GO BE WITH YOUR BABY MAMA DEAD(heehee)BEAT!!!#another pantyshot akdjskks the animators are on my side.... i love how everyone wants oden now... roger and shirohige passing him around#roger skipping to go fight him akdjsksj he is the moment....#episode 965
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you know i don't bring this up as a light anecdote because it involves me being talked about in really perverted ways behind my back. but when i was like 20 i was part of this large group of friends that was mostly a bunch of guys, and a couple of girlfriends. and the energy if you were a girl starting to hang around them was like. "ok, so who are you gonna hook up with/date?" and it didn't last long bc of course when the answer ended up being "well none of you," the patience they had for me evaporated. lol. so i was being talked about among literally every single one of them behind my back in a gigantic group chat, of like literally everyone in the original group chat (including the ppl who never fucking used it, and it was over twelve people) minus a few other ppl they didn't like, decidedly. and eventually one of my GOOD friends (that i am still friends w to this day) told me about it and then there was the whole drama of people not being able to accept consequences for their actions, not owning up to being cowardly bullies, etc... yawn yawn yawn. truly that was some stupid middle school shit from a bunch of immature ppl that i didn't really take to heart. not the guys, anyway. i was honestly very hurt by a couple of girls who partook in it though, that i thought genuinely liked me and who i genuinely liked in return, so that was shocking to me.
but anyway. after this all happened my sister went OFF on this one guy in particular. bc he had been a nuisance before. he was a slimy creep honestly. i used to feel a lot of pity for him bc i thought he was just sad and wanted attention but that was just my 20-year-old nonsense brain way of interpreting it. he was incredibly annoying and would wear girls down, would hop from one girl to another week after week, each one not reciprocating his constant desperate flirting and lovebombing. and there was a joke he participated in about me and my (also queer, female) friend that was particularly crossing a line. so kaily just ripped this guy a new one when he went to try and offer an explanation. like imagine trying to even talk to someone after you just humiliated and bullied their sister... couldn't be me. like i was literally the one being bullied in this instant but i can't imagine the kind of white hot rage i'd be in if someone did that to my sister. you know? so yeah.
at the end of this rant kaily told him "go to hell." you know. like fuck off. go fuck yourself. go to hell. good old indecent words to throw out at someone you loathe, right? i'm literally ONLY bringing this up because i cannot stop thinking, all these years later, about how one of the girls who participated in it, and was the least apologetic about it (in fact weirdly a year later she came back just to taunt me again and tell me how much better her life is without me and how stupid i was for breaking up a 'wonderful' friend group?? yeah that sounds like the behavior of someone who is over it)... i don't remember where but someone told me she talked particularly about that message to that guy and said "kaily told (name) to burn in hell" like. like that whole time she interpreted my sister as like a conservative christian who was calling him a dirty sinner. bc presumably she had never heard the phrase "go to hell" in a non-literal context before, or just never understood it?? like that girl didn't necessarily strike me as incredibly bright or something, in the short time i knew her, but i never would've guessed she could be so dumb...
but for the record that pervert guy yeah he is gonna burn in hell.
#tales from diana#im sorry how much dramatic backstory that anecdote required#that one girl and her friend are still some of the most baffling pieces of that story to me#like i hate to say it but i was not shocked that all but like two of those guys really liked or respected me at all#none of them seemed to like any of the other girls in the friend group#they just barely seemed to tolerate their friends' girlfriends. bc they had to#and some of those guys didn't even seem to like or respect their girlfriends#both of those girls who bullied me were some of 'the girlfriends' and i have to be honest. i wouldnt wanna be 'the girlfriend' there#neither of them are still w their then-boyfriends and im pretty sure for both of them it ended awfully#idk what happened to the really particularly aggressive one who thought kaily said 'burn in hell'#but for some reason like 6 months later when she and her bf broke up she unfriended me on fb#i had never unfriended her in case she wanted to apologize at any point (i had hope... 20 year old nonsense again i was really naive)#but then yeah another 6 months later she and the other girlfriend (still in a relationship at that time) just blew up at me and some others#for like no reason. just bc we all stayed friends... w each other#like i promise u i never went out of my way to bother these girls in any way. directly or indirectly. they just had to say#'its been a year and i still hate you guys' like why. we were literally all adults. we didnt go to school together we never saw each other#we were all just frankly moving on but i guess they were not over it#the other girl whose relationship lasted longer had maybe the worse boyfriend? definitely the worse breakup#he abandoned her for another woman and kicked her out of their living space#she was literally begging on social media for help#and again that guy was a monster who did not seem to really love her. he's married to the other woman now#they have a kid together#idk where either of those girls are now bc basically all their friends abandoned them#feels like if they had chosen their allies better way back when we were 20-21 itd have been different#which is not to blame them. but like. i would not have let that happen to my friends#but the fact that anyone stood up for me when i was being bullied was 'starting drama'#and the fact that they all let their problems pile up until their lives are destroyed? well i guess thats just being civilized and mature#sorry if this is just sounding incredibly judgmental bc i dont think they deserve their situations at all#but i dont think their choices didnt play some role in their being eventually discarded by rotten fuckin men#they were pretty rotten to me too. poor things...
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3 Sentence prompts: Willexie + Thrift Shopping!
Just because they were kind of famous now, didn't mean Reggie wanted to give up on his favourite hobby. Listen, he'd gotten his most iconic outfit from the thrift store. Okay, it had been pretty much his only outfit for a while. But it had clearly worked, because Sunset Curve was topping the charts now and everyone thought he was really cool.
Another bonus to having one iconic outfit was he could just ditch the leather jacket and flannel for the day and be basically incognito. Not that a lot of old people at estate sales knew who he was, but he'd been recognised at a bunch of garage sales and it just felt wrong to try and haggle with someone who really just wanted his autograph.
"Tell me again why you dragged me out of bed at five in the morning to drive down to Pasadena to look at... old junk?" Alex whined, sipping on the giant coffee Reggie had gotten him along the way. He was dressed in one of Reggie's flannels, which honestly was kind of a little treat in and of itself. Reggie himself had stolen one of Bobby's shirts and Alex' denim jacket.
"Because it's fun?" Reggie asked. Alex did not look convinced. "Because we can get cool stuff for the house?" he tried again.
"We can get cool stuff for the house at literally every store we want now," Alex pointed out. Which was true, they had Money now. Of course their co-dependent asses still went and bought a house together like they always said they would. It was just... slightly closer to a mansion than the shitty apartments they'd been thinking of when they were seventeen and broke. "Luke and Bobby spent a couple of grand on a new sound system."
"It's not about the money," Reggie pouted. "It's about the thrill of the chase. It's about treasure hunting! It's about finding unique pieces nobody else has!"
Alex stared at him, unamused, obnoxiously slurping his coffee.
"Fine, you're here because you love me and because I need your big sexy muscles to help lift stuff into the truck if we find anything." He was hoping to find a cool coffee table, or a desk, and they could still use a nice dresser.
"Fine," Alex said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. "But if I find something cute, you're doing the haggling for me."
"Deal."
The morning went pretty well. They found some cool lamps, and a couple of nice hardcover science fiction books Reggie thought would look very mature and adult on their shelf. Reggie managed to haggle down on a really mature looking desk that would look great in their 'We're Real Adults Now' house, and Alex did use his sexy muscles to help get it onto the truck.
After a quick early lunch in town, they went to the next estate sale. They agreed to split up, since it was later in the day and they needed to be fast before all the good stuff was snapped up.
Except when Reggie rounded the corner, he saw Alex wasn't looking for a nice dresser or pretty trinkets. Alex was talking to a very hot, very cool guy in a crop top.
Reggie narrowed his eyes, going over. Alex beamed. "Hey babe!"
"Why are you flirting with the enemy?" Reggie hissed.
Alex groaned. "Not this again."
"Hey, Reggie," Willie beamed. "Great job on nabbing that desk at the Gilmore estate, I had my eye on that too. But you got here a little late. Do you want to see the heirloom patchwork blanket I scored? And I found this really cool dresser I'm going to paint..."
Reggie squinted at their rival, annoyed. He wanted a cool dresser. And the patchwork blanket folded over his arm looked really nice.
"I'm sure it will look really cool," he said, trying to keep the sulk out of his voice. He gave Alex another glare.
Alex just stared at him. "Maybe I was distracting Willie so you could be the first to notice those vintage comic books in the corner," he said, and Reggie gasped, running off and rifling through the box before Willie could get there.
"Aw man, low blow, Hotdog!" Willie complained.
"Yeah, I'm evil like that," Alex deadpanned, rolling his eyes at the two of them.
In the end, Reggie came away with some Spiderman and Hawkeye comics that were still missing from his collection, and a cute little side table they could paint a pretty pink for Alex. As they were finishing up and loading everything in the truck at the end of the day, Willie moseyed back over.
"Howdy," he said, tipping a cowboy hat Reggie had completely missed. He felt a stab of jealousy, not just for missing it but also because Willie looked unfairly hot like that. Then, Willie plopped the hat on Reggie's head. "We still on for dinner?"
"The burger place?" Reggie asked, leaning over to press a kiss to Willie's cheek.
Alex popped out of the truck. "Oh so now it's okay to flirt?" he asked, grumpy.
"Of course it is, Alex, it's four thirty," Reggie said, propping the cowboy hat on Alex' head. He did not look as sexy as Willie had, but he did look kind of cute. They should go on a horseback riding date, all three of them, sometime soon. He'd bring it up over dinner.
"Yeah, Hotdog, we're only mortal thrifting enemies between six and four," Willie agreed.
"You two are so weird," Alex complained, but he still climbed down to sit in the bed of the truck to receive kisses from both his boyfriends. And over dinner, he smiled indulgently as his two thrift-nerdy boyfriends compared notes and showed off pictures of the treasures they'd found.
#julie and the phantoms#reggiexalexxwillie#fanfic#I wrote a thing#AUs are awesome#willie is a reseller who also like fixes stuff up and refurbishes it#he probably has like a blog or something as well#reggie just really likes thrifting#alex is there to look pretty and keep Reggie from bringing home any taxidermy (so Bobby won't disown them)#and use his big sexy drummer muscles to help lift stuff#and to roll his eyes at both his boyfriends and their silly rivalry#lbr the sunset curve house is a mess between Luke refusing to give up his ancient couch#reggie's thrifting and Bobby's 'I'm going to buy designer furniture because I'm rich now fuck you'#meanwhile Alex just wants somewhere to sit that is comfortable and doesn't have bedbugs#poor guy probably went to like Ikea in self-defence
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Sorry, still following the serise. Just can't post much right now coz of real life commitments. So have a tier list -
#heartstopper#heartstopper season 1#netflix#netflix heartstopper#alice oseman#tier list#yes i do think its funny that my fravriote characters hate eachother#well ok hate is a bit strong#tao just didn’t trust nick until the end of the season#& poor nick just wanted his boyfriends mates to like him lol#tori & imogen are listed that way#because Imogen will apprantly get character development later on#& tori has a whole book about her#so i hope she's not just regulated to quirky sister that pops up for 1 second an episode forever#darcy is hard because i do like her#she's just a little....loud for me#but i think it's good she's proud of her sexuality#+ as a teen it makes sense that she's not the most subtle person#& i think her “flaws” help her & tara work#like I can definitely see tara becoming more confident in her sexuality as she gets older thanks to Darcy's support#& i can also see Darcy becoming more mellow/tactful as she gets older thanks to Tara's influence#some people might not like tao very much#& i agree the hair has to go#but he was so cute/funny with elle#he ate harry up every time (not that he makes it hard the guy's insults are shit)#& while i don't like him hurting charlie#i think his insecurities & the way he deals with them#was pretty understandable & very realistic for a 14/15 year old#like I love nick but from Tao's POV i completely get how he could come across as not a good guy#think the rest of my listing is pretty self-explanatory so won't bother going over them
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GETO SUGURU.
#i spent the whole hour trying to resist this man but i just couldn’t#i liked him in the manga before he defected but the anime did him so…#AHCK#LOOK AT HIM (moments before disaster)#THE WAY HIS GAZE SOFTENED WHEN RIKO CONFESSED THAT SHE WANTED TO STAY WITH EVERYONE A LITTLE LONGER#HOW SHE WASNT READY FOR ASSIMILATION#JEALOUSY IS A DISEASE#RIKO MOVE THATS MY MAN#i just cant deal with him#he was such…a nice guy#if i knew him irl i’d have a massive crush on him ngl#additionally throughout the show he was always so concerned for satoru#expressing his concern when satoru has been using his technique nonstop whilst guarding amanai#and when haibara asks what treats should he bring home and he answers sweets bc it’s what satoru likes im having a breakdown#he’s so boyfriend#i love him so much it hurts to see how the tiredness in his eyes took over after what happened FUCK YOU TOJI FUSHIGURO#logically i’m not blaming anyone other than toji for what happened but some petty side of me wants to stir fry the shit out of gojo satoru#bc how the fuck did you not notice that geto was slowly losing and YOU CALL YOURSELF A BESTFRIEND YOU B—#im kidding ok might’ve been geto too bc he wasn’t open abt it#also damn yuki for that peptalk bc my poor mentally ill man wasn’t registering shit right#his slow spiral into insanity is one of the best written antagonizations i have ever read/seen and it will forever break my heart#jjk#toff.txt#🎬;jjk
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im so serious some t*m drake stans are so misogynistic when it comes to stephanie brown I'm not even kidding holy shit
#jay speaks#sorry. its the truth#turn tim into the victim all you want to appease your projected victim complex can we at least leave steph alone tho#like. woooooooow#ur poor little helpless little white queer boy. and the toxic abusive ex girlfriend of his. good riddance amirite#im sorry guys i cannot do this anymore. i am at my limit#some peoples attitudes towards steph are just soooooo misogynistic its insane#all to uphold and make a white (only recently confirmed) queer boy look better by comparison. what a breakthru guys ur geniuses#never before seen im in awe#i say all of this as someone who likes tim too btw. he is literally one od my faves#he is higher on my list than steph is. but like. come on guys#are we just going to forget about how much of a garbage boyfriend tim was to steph#or how badly he treated her even when they weren't dating 💀 hello#did we read the same comics. i won't say steph was perfect but like tim was an asshole lol#she was a teenaged girl and im afraid that was mostly her biggest offense. tim was a little misogynist god love him#both were young and stupid and teenagers. w/e. don't act like steph was the sole bad actor tho even in recent comics#sorry tim wasn't written to be as much of a victim as u would have liked#tag rant#no actually. gotta add. don't we just love putting down a woman to uplift the treasured mlm ship#and make it seem better. like the better option. isnt it fun to do that right#banging my head against the wall im so done with this
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I dont get why in some kazumaji fics people make majima the jealous boyfriend when he seems quite eager (maybe not eager but willing) to matchmake his love interests with other people. Jealous boyfriends would be people like mine or yuya who is like a rabid animal when people look at daigo or kazuki respectively
#Yakuza loveblog#see if daigo went out with a girl mine would be like Shes not good enough for you sir plus i ran a background check on her and heres the#dirt i dug up. any would be an apropriate reason to break up with her#if kiryu was seeing a girl majima would be like OOHHHH GOOD CHOICE SHES REALLY HOT I BET YOU GUYS HAVE SEX EVERY NIGHT while kiryu is#literally in the middle of having sex with him. sorry i keep saying having sex its a very apt phrase to use when two people are fucking#i see a shiba inu wow this is just like yakuza#majima is not a jealous boyfriend because hes convinced that hes a troublesome person#he only trusts saejima to deal with that because they signed up for this troublesome life together and by god they will exit it together#ill fuck you until youre satisfied so you wont get homesick#majima likes kiryu a lot but not enough to impose that much on him in That Way its simply better if kiryu doesnt care about him#i like them a lot because its like both of them are kind of pining but also they think the other doesnt like them THAT much so im not going#to make things awkward by cementing their relationship. they dont want to be clingy because also thatll be embarrassing#like kiryu doesnt bother to ask because he knows(?) majima will laugh at him and call him childish like damn man up#majima knows(?) that kiryu simply isnt That into him but the poor sap might be too nice and shackle himself into an arrangement with him#which is the last thing he wants. well not the being in a relationship part. the shackling kiryu part#he thinks kiryu is this beautiful wild horse that wants to roam the better world and kiryu thinks majima is this beautiful wild horse that#cant be satisfied with just him alone
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I can’t watch the new mandalorian trailer I’m still so burned by the shitshow ending of TBOBF 💀💀💀 long rant in the tags sorry please don’t mind me
#grr…. afraid…...I just wanna keep enjoying my funny space cowboy dads in peace and quiet in my little corner 😭#I don’t want to suffer through any more cgi Luke...#are they rly gonna honour that grogu ‘reunion’... even tho it happened it a DIFFERENT SHOW?#sorry but that was the emotional core of the show I’m screaming in pain they CANT DO IT OFF SCREEN IN A DIFFERENT (BAD) SHOWWWW#I also didn’t care for the Cobb Vanth thing…... I have soooo many problems with that show 💀#tried SOO HARD to enjoy it I gave it way more leeway than anyone else#feel bad for temuera Morrison#I love boba fett I was so glad to see him get a chance to do it and I love what he brings to the character... but the writing 💀#I love fennec too#but mannnn#I was even stoked to see cad bane cuz we were watching clone wars at the time and he’s such a cool character#but he shouldn’t have been in that show 💀#(not even factoring in his crimes of shooting my favourite character)#(just kidding lol he’s forgiven)#atrocious cgi shitshow ending that poor Vancouver animators had to crunch for ... absolute garbage ending#also I’ll literally walk into the middle of a busy intersection if they put that annoying guy in the mandalorian 💀💀💀💀💀#the twilek…... if they’re really sticking with making him Amy sedaris’ boyfriend I’m gonna kms#I know a lot of it happened the way it did bc of covid I’m just so scared that means theyre beholden to all of it 😭#I may not watch s3... ugh I have to try... but I might not finish the whole thing#anyway#I love the mandalorian I will be sad if it fully goes into the toilet#they’re already making it too grand and epic w the darksaber shit... guys this is a story about a dude becoming a dad and loving his son ok#don’t forget it…...#(I think they forgot it)#also while ur here i had a revelation that I wouldn’t hate dinluke so much if they’d just CAST A DIFFERENT ACTOR#instead of creating UNCANNY VALLEY HORRORSHOW TECHBROS SUCKING THEMSELVES OFF UNDERPAYING NONUNION VFX ARTISTS ASS CGI LUKE#AND WHY DID THEY USE AI GENERATED VOICE CLIPS FOR HIM?? MARK HAMILL IS LITERALLY A TALENTED VOICE ACTOR!!!#also he stole his son >:(#ok I’m done#bz bz
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So the Buck Eddie and Shannon fics thing, where the tree get together. That's just people self inserting right? Like it's not cause people actually liked the character and thought the woman who ran away twice from having to be a mom could work with Buck, or her ex that she left twice, whose part of the reasoning for leaving was because of their child.
Maybe they're just all being posted today by the same prompter and I'm just imagining this being a thing. But I'm half afraid to keep looking in the tags because I might come across this but with the added 'Seal Buck' thing which just drives me.
#911#I like a good polly ship as much as the next guy#but I don't want that#She wouldn't stick around anyway it mean having to be a mom#Poor Eddie his seal boyfriend will go missing on a mission and his wife will leave him#and then he the canon soldier will just I dunno flounder and have trouble with everything#until his extra awesome bf comes back from the war#Which Evan Buckly would never survive I'm sorry but Buck having to shoot someone?
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poor fucking guy has been regressed in here this whole time oh my god
#☣️.cyanide#he just wanted to watch his ponies and cuddle his blanket and his boyfriend and go to sleep#poor little guy just wants to like#feel like a normal kid I think#and it just never fucking happens for him#fuck now I'm like crying bro wtf#why is this so sad wtf why am I legit sad over this#the cat calmed down and I think its over now but man#its 5am#I should get him a snack and try to get him to sleep#hopefully tomorrow is better
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