#poopsie what the flush

[ilovethetalkingclock]

i know all of you are thinking: "AW HELL NAW YO ASS TWEAKIN CHRONO" and let me just say now: you're probably right.

the autism won again and i got back to working up a concept for rebooting and hopefully at least somewhat improving probably the worst toy ever

ALSO TO THOSE IN THE KNOW, DON'T WORRY: SLUDGE SQUAD/SEWERS AND SPARKLES ISN'T DEAD. I STILL NEED TO SHOW THE CHARACTERS AT SOME POINT. i just consider it distinct enough to consider it a separate project now.

Poopsie belongs to MGA entertainment

[taetaespeaches]

“Wherever we go, we’ll be home.”

hoseok x reader (or oc) genre: smut; fluff word count: 2.4K

a/n: Hi lovelies!! Fast forward a few weeks from where “I could never want less of you” left off and here we are, Hobi and Petal/reader are moving into their new place. In the words of Poopsie (you’ll see), you could say they go out with a “bang��. Ok I hate myself lmao I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :)) 

SCANNING the now empty living area, you felt a sadness settle into your chest. The apartment wasn’t anything special but it had been your home since you left home to go to school.

A pair of arms wrapped around your waist from behind, you melting into the touch as you leaned against the man’s chest. Sighing, you folded your arms over your boyfriend’s as he pressed his lips to your temple.

“You ok?” Hoseok asked, you nodding with a small smile, though he couldn’t quite see it. “Bittersweet?”

“More sweet than bitter,” you assured him, turning your face toward him so his bright eyes came into your view. “I love this apartment,” you pouted, Hoseok smiling at you.

“Want me to pull out of the lease for the other one?” He teased, you rolling your eyes making the man giggle.

“I’m excited to move in,” you told him, Hobi smushing his lips against your cheek, placing a few quick kisses to the spot, you groaning as you turned in his hold, smoothly wrapping your arms around the back of his neck.

“Me too,” he grinned, you leaning forward to place a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Hey, wanna make this moment a little sweeter?” He asked suddenly, you pulling your eyebrows together in question. However, when his hands slid underneath your shirt, grabbing your hips as he smirked at you like that, you easily figured out what he had in mind. “One last time?” He asked, you holding back a smile as you stared at him.  

“Right now?” You asked, a smirk peeking through your attempt at a stone face. “With our friends waiting downstairs at the moving truck?” You asked, feigning innocence.

Giggling, Hoseok pulled you to him, connecting his lips with yours in a slow passionate kiss, your hand finding his jaw as the other settled on the side of his abdomen. Slowly, he stepped backward, you following him as you both made your way toward the front door. Removing one hand from you, he felt blindly behind him until his hand found the front door, his hand and foot working together to slam the it shut, ensuring it was locked before spinning you around and pushing your back against it.

Finding your sudden need for each other amusing, your lips formed into a smile, Hoseok’s mouth reciprocating the upward curve, the man giggling into the kiss. With a light chuckle, you reached for the bottom of his shirt, lifting it up his body before he pulled it the rest of the way over his head.

“We need to be quick,” you told him through your wide grin, the man raising his eyebrows at you.

“Is that a challenge?” He teased, you rolling your eyes just as he easily lifted your shirt over your head.

His arms wrapped around your frame quickly, your lips finding one another’s once again as he pulled you into the kitchen. Shoving you up against the kitchen counter, he reached for the button and zipper on your jeans, smoothly undoing them as you began shoving them down your thighs.

Removing his own pants, you both kicked them off hurriedly and quite frantically toward the living room. Hobi grabbed your hips and squeezed your flesh in his hands, humming in appreciation as he looked you up and down.

“Fuck, I want to take my time with you,” he tutted, you letting out a breathy laugh at his conflicted expression.

“Sunshine,” you called, his eyes meeting yours. Placing your hands on the sides of his face, you pulled him into a kiss. “You can take your time with me in the new place,” you reminded him, Hoseok smirking at you.

Without another word, he spun you around and pushed on your upper back making you brace yourself on your forearms against the granite. In just a few swift motions, he was slipping your underwear down your legs, not bothering to move them past your knees. The next thing you felt was the head of his cock rubbing against you, you moaning lightly in anticipation as you shifted your hips back towards him, the man letting out a light chuckle at the desperate antic.

Pushing inside you, he groaned as you took a sharp breath in, Hoseok only giving you a few seconds before he grabbed onto your hips and began ruthlessly snapping his own against you. Knowing you needed to be quick and not wanting to leave you unsatisfied, your boyfriend slid one of his hands to your front to make contact with your clit, you moaning at the touch.

“Remember the last time I took you right here in this kitchen?” He spoke, reminding you of the time you both got home from your respective friend hangouts, both of you drunk and needy.

You had gotten back to your apartment a few minutes before him and had been drinking a glass of water when he came in, smirking at you as he looked up up and down. “I’ve been thinking about you all night,” he told you in his cool tone, that sexy confidence on display. It was hard to remember a time when that confidence didn’t turn you on, despite knowing it used to be a source of annoyance.

“Really?” You questioned in a flirty tone. “You didn’t cross my mind all night,” you shrugged with a slight pout, the man scoffing at you as he pulled you into a messy kiss.

He had taken you from behind that night, much like he was in the present moment. “How could I forget?” You replied between pants. “You were so needy for me that night,” you quipped, the man giggling as he leaned forward, pressing kisses to your shoulder blade.

“I can’t even deny it,” he admitted. “I always am.” Smiling to yourself, you pushed your backside further against him, Hoseok moving his hand from his hip to reach around your abdomen, pulling you up so your back was flush against his chest.

You brought your arm up, wrapping it around the back of neck, allowing your fingers to toy with the strands at his nape. As your high neared, a sudden jiggle on the front door knob sounded, your eyes snapping in the direction of the noise that was shortly followed by a knock, Hoseok simply kissing your neck as he ignored the guest on the other side of the wood.

“Are you guys coming out soon?” A voice called, one you both recognized as Namjoon.

Hoseok continued pounding into you, hitting a particularly deep spot that had you seeing stars as a moan slipped out of your mouth, your boyfriend letting out a breathy chuckle against the side of your neck.

“Hello?” Namjoon called again, knocking once more.

“Fuck,” Hoseok huffed near your ear, you smiling at the situation. Neither his hips nor fingers lost pace as he pulled his face away from you, craning his neck so he was as far from you as possible as to avoid yelling in your ear. “We’ll be out,” he paused, holding in a moan as you gripped him a little tighter, “in a minute,” he finished, snapping his hips hard against you as a warning. “Watch it, Petal,” he whispered against your ear, you biting back a moan at the authority in his voice.

“What are you two doing?” Namjoon suddenly asked through the door, you groaning at his persistent interruption, Hoseok moving quickly to pull away from you once more.

“Saying goodbye to the place,” he yelled out in annoyance, you stifling a giggle as Hobi moved his face to yours again, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Oh god, I’m close,” you moaned out quietly, Hoseok whispering that he was too before pressing another kiss to your cheekbone.

“Are you two having sex?” Namjoon suddenly called through the door, you groaning in frustration.

Before your boyfriend could even make a move to respond, your head was snapping toward the intruder who was locked out of the apartment. “Namjoon, can you fuck off please?” you yelled out in utter annoyance, Hoseok’s hips stilling for a moment as he admired you with an amused smile. Waiting to see if you’d get a response, and receiving none, you muttered, “fucking hell,” before moving your hips backward against Hoseok to silently plead for him to keep going.

Hobi pressed his lips to your cheek once more, his lips spreading into a smile as he chuckled against the side of your face.

“You’re amazing,” he whispered against your skin, you chuckling at the ridiculous compliment before a sudden moan left your lips in response to Hoseok’s movements against you. “You close?” He asked, placing kisses along the backs of your shoulders.

“Mhmm,” you whined, dropping your hands to the edge of the counter, arching your back as Hobi’s mouth found the back of your head. Moving his cheek to rest against your hair, you were both panting as he worked you into your climax.

With the aid of his fingers, his opposite arm wrapped fully around your midriff to hold you to him tightly, you reached your high, a moan echoing through the empty apartment. Hoseok followed shortly behind you, dropping his face into the side of your neck as he grunted in pleasure.

Both of your breathing heavy and labored, you dropped onto your forearms against the counter, Hoseok leaning over your frame so his chest was pressed to your back, kissing your curve of your shoulder sweetly as you lazily looked around the room.

“Fuck,” you breathed out through a smile that your boyfriend could hear, the man flattening his cheek on your shoulder blade as he chuckled.

“Namjoon’s gonna tell everyone,” he pointed out, you lightly laughing with a small nod.

“He sure is,” you agreed, Hobi pulling out of you, allowing you to turn in his arms to face him. “Worth it,” you told him, kissing his lips quickly before heading to the bathroom to clean up.

Hoseok was left watching you walk away, unable to resists appreciating your nude form, with a massive smile on his face. When you disappeared into the hallway, he began to dress himself, scooping up your clothes as well. Stepping through the apartment to gather the discarded garments, his chest was full of affection for you and excitement for your joint future.

His eyes roamed the living space, memories of your relationship flooding his mind. Like the first time he ever stepped foot in this apartment. You kept burning the popcorn and he found you beyond endearing. You had tried to make him watch a scary movie that night just to mess with him, despite you also not being able to handle horror flicks. He loved that about you.

You told him you liked him that night, and neither of you looked back ever again.

A reel of moments of you and him together within this apartment rolled through his mind like a flashback montage out of a film. As you stepped back into the room, Hobi slowly looked to you, smirking at your naked body, adorned only in your bra, you rolling your eyes at him.

Reaching him, you pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek as he handed you your underwear, you taking them with a breathy chuckle. Pulling them onto your legs, you looked around the apartment with Hoseok.

“You looked lost in thought,” you told him, grabbing your jeans off the countertop.

Moving his gaze to you, he gave you a loving smile. “I was reminiscing,” he told you, his smile widening at his own word choice, your smile growing larger in response.

“You’re so cute,” you cooed, the man leaning closer to you to kiss your temple.

“I always felt at home here,” he told you before transferring his eyes back to the space, you watching him carefully. “I didn’t even realize how much I’m going to miss this place until just now,” he noted quietly, your heart clenching in affection for him.

Reluctantly pulling your eyes from him to pull your jeans up your legs, you hummed in thought. “I think it felt like home because we were together, Sunshine,” you told him as you buttoned your jeans, not realizing he was watching you until you looked to him to meet his soft smile. Returning the expression, you quickly pulled your shirt over your head before reaching for his hand. “Wherever we go, we’ll be home.”

“Sometimes you can be so cute, you know that?” He told you, you cocking your head at him.

“Sometimes?” You questioned teasingly, the man easily nodding.

“Mhmm,” he confirmed, you laughing at you leaned against his frame, your boyfriend wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “Come on, Petal,” he whispered, kissing the side of your head before leading you to the door, you both grabbing the two remaining boxes at the doorway on your way out.

Exiting the apartment, you braced yourselves for the inevitable teasing outside of the complex. Making eye contact with Namjoon’s girlfriend through the glass of the front doors, she smirked, you holding back a laugh as you stepped out, everyone instantly cheering and groaning, depending on the person.

“You two are disgusting,” Namjoon yelled at you both.

“Oh, leave them be,” Jimin’s girlfriend defended you and your boyfriend.

“We’re all out here to help you and you two are taking your sweet ass time banging one out?” Jimin complained, his girlfriend lightly smacking his chest with the back of her hand as she wore an amused smile.

Before you could even speak, Taehyung’s girlfriend was scoffing at Jimin. “If he thinks that was taking their sweet ass time, I feel really bad for you,” she told her best friend, Jimin’s girlfriend.

“I support going out with a bang,” Jin’s girlfriend suddenly spoke overtop the group. “Now can we go?” She asked, Jin laughing hysterically at her lame pun, hugging her close, showing his fondness for the stunning girl.

You smiled at the girl’s comment, simply shrugging as you made your way to the moving truck to place the box inside, Hobi following you as he laughed and smiled brightly, both of you unaffected by the comments and teasing from your friends.

Pushing the boxes inside the truck, Hobi wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a sweet hug, you easily folding your arms around his waist.

“You excited?” he asked just before placing a kiss to your forehead.

“Very,” you grinned, looking up at him. Living with Hoseok? How could you not be over the moon?  

[imnotwolverine]

The marriage pact - Chocolate delight

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 4 | Part 5 Chocolate delight | Part 6 >

Disclaimer: none

Author’s note: I decided to keep the fluff levels high and the smut levels low - sorry, not sorry. The reason being that I don’t see a whole lot of PG-13 stuff here on Tumblr, so it might be a welcome addition to the Tumblr-universe. 

Word count: 1.262

(Link to my Masterlist)

--

[ Alice.in.writing.land ]

Dear readers,

I totally overslept this morning, so please accept my apologies for the shortest blog in the history of blogs. But; CHOCOLATE CAKE!  

CHOCOLATE CAKE!!

A sipping-her-coffee-in-a-hurry,

Ali

‘Are you sure we’ve got everything?’ Henry took my backpack as I picked up Alice, securing her in the backseat of his dad’s car.

‘Absolutely. Don’t worry Hen.’ I poked him teasingly in his shoulder, making little Alice coo from her backseat throne. ‘Oohh!’ She gasped, making Henry blush ever so slightly. I chuckled in turn, then held my breath when I felt my phone buzz.

‘Just a sec.’ I said, turning around and answering it. ‘Hey Mads. Hey. Yes, all good here.’ I heard some loud and bubbly toddler noises behind me and I looked over my shoulder seeing Henry tickle the little princess. ’Noo!!’ She squealed, her face holding the widest of grins, tiny nose scrunched up. ‘I want mommy! Mommy!’

I felt my stomach do a backflip as Henry then looked over his shoulder at me. ‘Uh..Mads. I think Alice wants to say something. Yes haha. Hold on..’ I stepped back towards the car, giving Henry a warning look to remain quiet, then held out the phone to Alice’s face.

‘MOMMY MOMMY!’ She yelled, making our ears ring. ‘Hey baby!’ - sounded from the other side of the phone. ‘MOMMY MOMMY, SUPERMAN IS HERE!’

Oh gods. Did she really just..? Me and Henry shared a look; so far from trying to keep a secret until we figured out how this thing between us was going to turn out to be.

‘Is he now? Did you need saving then?’

‘No but auntie Alice did.’ Alice spoke into the phone, nodding surely, her eyes peering at the device. ‘She screamed too!’

OH GODS. I quickly turned away, my face flushing with embarrassment as I looked at an equally blushing Henry, his jaw clenching as he tried to swallow away an awkward chuckle. ‘Not funny Cavill.’  

Henry bit his lip, then swerved around, prying the phone away from the toddler.

‘Hi Maddie. This is Henry. Yes. Yes we had a good time. And no, nobody got hurt, truly. Haha yes..oh of course…mhm..yes don’t worry. I’ll keep the girls safe.’ He winked at little Alice as she looked at him with large, focused eyes.

‘Yes shall do. Mommy wants to send you kisses.’ Henry said, turning the phone back to the toddler. With tiny grabby hands she picked up the device, moving it back to her face and starting to make little kissy kissy sounds - the voice at the other side of the line doing the same.

Meanwhile me and Henry shared a little sniffle, his hand reaching carefully for mine and our fingers interlocking.

‘I..or..we..are running late.’ I whispered, hearing the toddler continue with her giggles and kisses, the phone now fiercely held into her chubby little fingers.

‘Then ..we..better get going.’ Henry nodded, smiling sweetly before swiftly moving around the car and getting back behind the driver’s seat.

‘Hey, baby.’ I carefully prodded Alice. ‘How about we go on another adventure?’ I smiled as Alice looked up,  her mouth still pouted, ready to make another kissy kissy sound. Slowly she nodded, then smiled. ‘Bye bye mommy!’ She said simply then pushed the phone back in my direction.

This was, truly, the easiest toddler I had ever been around and I was glad that thus far we only had three crying sessions, which all could be solved with some good old distraction techniques and a nice little bedtime story.

—

I had arrived just in the nip of time before my Tuesday morning meeting started and as I walked back out of our office, I noticed Henry and Alice in the shade, binging away on some ice cream - Henry had been adamant on keeping Alice company so i could go to my meeting undisturbed.

‘How’d it go?’ Henry inquired, his tongue swerving over his bottom lip to remove any chocolaty residue. ‘Good! And thankfully it was okay for me to take the rest of the day off..so..we’re all yours!’ I smiled.

‘KAL KAL KAL!’ Alice cheered, near forgetting about the ice cream in her hand as she tried to clap her hands. Henry was thankfully quick to prevent any ice cream incident, his lightning fast hands grabbing for the cone before it flopped from her small hands.

‘Ooph..where’d you get those Spiderman reflexes Superman?’ I laughed, making him raise up an eyebrow. ‘Ah you know. The good old multiverse.’ ‘Mmm of course.’ ‘Want a bite? Or..lick..?’ He offered me his cone, smiling at Alice as she reached back for her cone, not even realising it had nearly dropped out of her hands mere moments ago.

I felt a blush creep up my cheeks as people passed up by, Henry still holding out his ice cream. He looked back up at me, confused by my sudden stoic stature. ‘What’s up?’ ‘Oh it’s just..nothing really. I..ugh..let’s go shall we? I’m sure that Kal can’t wait to see us.’

‘KAL KAL KAL!’ Alice cheered again, this time Henry’s hand not fast enough to catch her ice cream, the cone flopping in a bonus point winning summersault onto the sidewalk. We all gasped, even little Alice, then laughed when the toddler’s mouth shaped into a little “o”. ‘Oopsie poopsie.’ She muttered.

‘Oh Alice dear. Hahahah. It looks like your ice cream didn’t want to be eaten after all.’

‘Sorry ice cream.’ She pouted, watching me pick up whatever was left, then allowing me to clean her mouth and nose with some tissues.

—

‘Did you get..eh..embarrassed ..just now?’ Henry asked, the three of us driving towards his parents place to pick up Kal. Little Alice was quietly bubbling in the back seat and the radio was buzzing some indiscernible music.  

‘Oh no. Not really. Or well. Maybe a little. I mean, what will the press think; Henry Cavill sharing ice cream with a mystery woman and kid? Your management team will kill me!’ I gulped.

‘I’m sure they won’t Ali.’ Henry snickered, then looked at me for a moment, deep blue eyes studying me. ‘Unless of course you are ashamed of me.’

‘No! No Hen. Gosh. We’ve known each other for ages. I’ve had a million moments to cut off bonds if I were to be ashamed of you.’ I sniffled, then shook my head, looking back at the road ahead of us. ‘Is there anything else that’s bothering you?’ He asked, also looking back at the road.

‘Hmm..I did wonder why you didn’t recognise me during the interview. I mean..you didn’t, at first, right?’

Henry sighed, shoulders slumping slightly. ‘Sorry about that. I just hadn’t seen you in years. And you do look quite different. Haircut, hair colour, I mean..you even wore make-up…’ He laughed and I rolled my eyes. ‘Yea sure.’

‘And to be honest I was tired and had totally not expected to find you back here. Even to this moment I wonder why I had never quite realised throughout our phone calls and app messages that you still lived right here. It does make me look like quite a fool.’

‘That’s because we never truly talked about our every day life. Besides, we hadn’t really had contact in some years.’ I smiled at him - we always happened to be talking about our hobbies; exercising, cooking, thriller movies or newly found favourite bands. Whenever we found something we thought the other might like, we sent it in a text message. And of course we discussed our love lives, though we happened to both be equally unfortunate on that department.

At least. Until now.

‘Better start talking then.’ He winked.

--

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[sitonmyhot-seatoflove]

hi love! for the dialogue prompts, could you do 12 and 29 with whoever you feel fits best!

hi, there! I accidentally wrote a tad too much. and this took so long. I’m sorry!! I hope you like it.

12. “What are you thinking about?” and 29. “I’m not going anywhere.“

Joe Mazzello x Reader, fluff

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none, just some making out and unbearably sweet, tooth-rotting fluff

There are exactly 52 Sundays in the year 2019.

Neither of you is aware of this, but this is the fifteenth Sunday in a row you and Joe Mazzello have spent together. Quite miraculously, the two of you haven’t missed a single one since he’s gotten home from the Oscars.

The routine has been the same from the very first one. Four out of five times, you stay in your apartment, as his "is a trash heap,” in your words, and “never has any brioche,” in his. You always sleep in much later than he does. By the time you go looking for him, he’s always perched on your tiny kitchen table, working on his laptop. There is always a mug of coffee or strong, caffeinated tea only halfway drunk growing cold next to it as he types away. You always make the both of you french toast - with strawberries, if you’re “feeling frisky” - and he always divides his attention between you and the laptop, moving his workstation to your pullout couch where you both sit idly for the rest of the day.

When you walk out of your bedroom on the fifteenth Sunday, however, Joe is laying on your couch, legs swinging on the armrest, his phone placed face down on his soft tummy. He lightly scratches his sternum, playing with the few hairs that adorn his bony, pale chest. The corners of his lips are only slightly turned upwards, and you know instantly that he’s amusing himself with his thoughts, probably coming up with a bit or a joke for his script on the spot. Your stomach tightens at the homeliness of his sight, cause really, how long have you been doing this for, again?

The answer is at least fifteen Sundays, of course, but all you really know is that it’s been long enough for him to feel right at home on your second-hand pullout, smiling at himself, clad in nothing but a loose pair of boxer shorts. It’s an adorable sight, really, almost too soft to interrupt, but you let your curiosity get the best of you, and quickly walk over to give him an upside down peck on the nose.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask as he smiles widely, grabbing at his nose after you’ve kissed it.

“You, as a matter of fact.”

“Really? Why?”

“Okay, so, it’s really stupid,” he grabs his phone as he sits up and leans forward.

“Go on,” you sit beside him, on the arm of the couch, looking down at his phone with curiosity.

“I’ve been doing some research,” he leans forward, pressing one hand to your knee and squeezing, “and I think I’ve found the perfect gross nickname for you.” He enunciates the ‘perfect’, popping the 'p’ with the widest smile, eyebrows shot all the way up to his hairline. He’s giddy, you think, and giddy Joe is your absolute favorite.

“That’s great, babe!” You can’t help but mimic his excitement, eyebrows and all, but you don’t really understand where he’s coming from. “Remind me why I need a gross nickname, again?”

“So I can embarrass you, of course,” he states, voice deadly serious as if it’s the most obvious thing he’s ever told you.

“Right, of course.”

“Okay, so, hear me out. I have a list.” He replies too fast, eager to let you in on the joke, and starts reading off his list without being prompted. “Cuddlebaby.”

“Oh, that’s disgusting,” You get up and mock-vomit, and he follows you into the kitchen, not questioning your movements. While you busy yourself grabbing bowls and spoons, he sets down the strawberries, eggs, and brioche from inside the fridge on your counter without missing a beat. There it is, again, that pang in your chest, brought on by the smell of fresh strawberries and the familiarity that comes with it.

“Cutie Patootie.”

“You’re vile,” you try and keep your voice serious, though the itch of a smile makes your face tingle a little, and start making your breakfast.

“Snookums.”

“Positively vile,” you imitate him by over-enunciating the 'p’ in positive, playing along.

“Pumpkin.”

“You don’t even like pumpkin.”

“I like pumpkin spiced lattes,” he says, defensively.

“For real? Not, like, ironically?”

“One hundred percent non-ironically.” You shrug. “No? Okay. Honey bunny.”

“I just threw up in my mouth,” he exhales a tiny bit of laughter, and you know he’s struggling to keep somewhat serious just as much as you are.

“Hey, this one’s unusual. Wicky Poo.”

“Where’d you even find that one?”

“Hemingway, babe!” He sounds confused as to why you didn’t hold that information. “It’s what he called his third wife.”

“You calling me third wife material?” You turn on the stove, and you’re not facing him, but you know that’s put a smile on his face. “What corner of the internet were you even on?”

“Fine, too niche.” He slowly walks to watch over your work as you soak the bread in the egg mix, leaning on the counter next to you. “How about… Muffin?”

“See, I’m just gonna think that one’s about my muffin top.”

“So?” He drops his phone on the counter, walks up behind you and starts running his hands over your hips, squeezing lightly, fingertips grazing at the waistband of your pajama shorts underneath your thin tank top. “I like your muffin top,” he speaks into the crook of your neck.

“I know.” You smile, lips closed, trying not to give away how much you’re enjoying this, the feel of him dragging his nails over your stomach, the amusement in his voice, the fact that he’s trying so hard to make you laugh just because he can.

He pecks on your neck, just a graze of his lips, and follows it with a soft bite that has you jumping slightly. “Bae?”

“Oh, I’m gonna kill you,” he finally allows himself a full on giggle, dragging his fingertips back over your hips, a little faster, more determined this time. “What, Joey, that gets you going?”

“Maybe so,” he grabs at your hips with just an inch more force and pulls your body towards him as you gasp. “Sweetcheeks.” It’s so hard not to break out a full smile at that one, but you want to drag this on for as long as possible. “Monkey tush.”

You purse your lips trying not to laugh, moving back to your prep station so you can cut up the strawberries. He follows right behind you, hands splayed on the counter next to each side of your body, which is now completely pressed up against his. He clears his throat and licks his lips, pressing them, wet, and his breath, warm, over your ear, as the next piece of affection comes up from his throat like a growl.

“Poopsie.”

You can’t take it anymore and burst out laughing; he responds by grabbing hold of your face and pressing his lips onto yours. You close your eyes and kiss him back, nibbling at his bottom lip as he pulls you in forcefully and quickly, teeth clashing for a second while the strawberry juice from your fingertips stains his pink cheeks. The angle’s odd - he’s still behind you, trapping you between him and the counter - and you’re both smiling too wide for it to be comfortable, but his tongue still asks your lips - teeth - for permission and you let it caress your own, slow, languid, messy, with a touch too much saliva and so, so full of love. You couldn’t frown if you wanted to, and he lets out a little whine as you end your kiss too soon by pecking his lips several times in a row. You wipe the strawberry from his face with your thumb, his soft skin still looking flushed under yours.

“Poopsie. God, I hate you.”

“Jesus Christ, woman,” he pulls back and his eyebrows shoot up comically as he feigns shock, hand clutching at imaginary pearls. “If you tongue down someone you hate like that, what the hell do you do to the people you like?”

“Shut up and get me the cinnamon, Joseph.”

You both quickly finish up arranging your meal, grabbing plates, napkins, and maple syrup to bring over to the living area. You cozy up best as you can in the couch, him in between your legs, the massive plate of french toast in between his as you scroll through Netflix to find something equally as comforting for you two to watch.

Once you’ve settled on an early season of The Office - he voted for “any of the ones where Jim and Pam are still falling in love” - you’re able to finally enjoy your breakfast, careful to eat only with your right hand so you can use your left to scratch at Joe’s hair while you watch.

“Lovebug.” He says unprompted, not reading off his phone this time, and you don’t know if it’s the way he laughs whenever Kevin has a line, the way his eyes light up whenever Jim and Pam get a little bit closer to showing their feelings, or just the fact that he said it with his mouth full of your french toast, but you’ve never loved him more than right then and there.

“I kinda like that one,” you pause, crooking your neck a bit to look him in his eyes and you smile as you notice he’s got a tiny bit of maple syrup on his chin, “non-ironically.”

“Really? Huh.” His eyebrows shoot up for the umpteenth time that morning, but less dramatically than before. Genuinely surprised. “Noted, lovebug.”

It’s nearly the end of the episode as he makes to get up and clean the plates, a low, lazy groan coming up from the back of his throat as he stretches his spine.

“Hey, wicky poo.” You pull him backwards by the underwear, the band making a loud snap on his lower back. He places the plates on the coffee table and looks at you, eyebrows twisted in mild confusion. “Don’t leave, please? We’ll clean it up later.” He smiles wide and gets back to his spot before you even finish saying it, pulling on your legs a bit so that you’re lying down; you let out a little yelp and smile as you pull him back to you, chest to chest this time.

“Don’t worry, lovebug,” he says, voice low, as softly as he can as he settles back into your arms. Your throat grows thick, your body temperature jumping up as you cup his rosy face and feel the same exact warmth on his cheek. Your stomach tightens for the third time that day in the mildest, most delicious of pains. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispers and you inhale deeply as his scruff gently scratches the curve of your neck. He’s right. Neither of you is going anywhere - not this Sunday, or the next.

[ilovethetalkingclock]

i put more effort into this than i should have

redraw of an older shitpost (pun intended), albeit replacing Oopsie Starlight with Blingy Beauty to represent her more

original post this was based on

all poopsie slime surprise redesigns

[taetaespeaches]

If you could associate an evermore song to each couple, which ones would you pick? I don’t know why but my mind connected willow to min-kid, I guess i kinda connected the “for you I would ruin myself a million little times” to the wreck my plans that’s my man, the fierce loyalty she has for her honey boy My mind tends to wander, can you tell?😂

Ooooh ok I love willow for min/kid, that’s adorable as heck. I love that connection from the past lyric/fic. I can definitely see why your mind went to min/kid. My mind goes to hobi and petal actually. But here are my thoughts: 

(it’s long lol so I’m putting a keep reading tab in)

✦ jin/poopsie: ‘evermore’

And when I was shipwrecked (Can't think of all the cost) I thought of you (All the things that will be lost now) In the cracks of light (Can we just get a pause?) I dreamed of you (To be certain we'll be tall again, if you think of all the costs)

With Poopsie’s mental struggles and the way that Jin always stands by her with patience and understanding, I just think this fits them well. She worries she’ll never feel ok but Jin is always there for her. 

✦ min/kid: ‘long story short’

When I dropped my sword I threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door And we live in peace But if someone comes at us, this time, I'm ready

I think with both of their defenses in the start of their relationship and how they’re just all about each other now, this song fits them. I mean, what’s more min/kid than “now I'm all about you”? 

✦ hobi/petal: ‘willow’

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man

I just think willow works from both Hobi and Petal’s perspective. Hobi would do anything to win her over, he would do anything for her, and Petal wasn’t expecting him to mean so much to her but like, that’s her man now. Neither of them want to be anywhere else than with each other. 

✦ joon/daisy: ‘champagne problems’

Because I dropped your hand while dancing Left you out there standing Crestfallen on the landing... ...Your heart was glass, I dropped it Champagne problems

This just very much sounds like Daisy when she was trying to stop herself from loving Namjoon and the sadness that came with what she knew she was doing. She didn’t even know how to explain why she was holding back. 

✦ jimin/dear: ‘tis the damn season

And wonder about the only soul Who can tell which smiles I'm fakin' And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own To leave the warmest bed I've ever known

This song fits Jimin’s perspective after he breaks up with Dear while he’s still on tour. I can imagine him dealing with the aftermath while he’s still away on tour and having this fantasy where he can just show up at Dear’s place when he gets back and pretend nothing happened, even if it’s just for a weekend. And then well he basically does that lol. But I think he’d realize very quickly that he’s just hurting himself because he knows breaking up isn’t what either of them want or what’s best for them. 

✦ tae/peaches: ‘ivy’

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you

Let’s be honest, Peaches emotionally cheats on every single person she dates because she knows she wants Tae. So this song makes me think of them. Tae’s presence in her life only becomes more important and more meaningful to her as time goes on and then she finds herself wanting him and not the people she’s actually dating. This song is them. 

✦ guk/holly: ‘gold rush’

But I don't like a gold rush, gold rush I don't like anticipatin' my face in a red flush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you Walk past, quick brush

Both Jungkook and Holly would relate to this song at the beginning of their relationship. Despite both of them both instantly being all about each other, Jungkook is wanted by everyone and Holly knows that. On the other side, Jungkook sees Holly in the same way, everyone wants her. So I think it would be intimidating to love one another at first. It would almost feel like a daydream when they’re together at first. 

[ilovethetalkingclock]

The Problem With Poopsie Slime Surprise

There have been quite a lot of toys with gross-out humor as their main point through the years. Madballs, Trash Pack, Grossery Gang, the Ugglys, Doctor Dreadful, Flush Force… however, a pretty much all of these have been targeted towards boys…. Until now!

Sadly, while a kind of actually cool concept, the Poopsie toys have quite a bit of flaws. I want to like it as a whole, I really do, to the point I made my OWN designs and want to even pitch a tv show adaptation (yes really), but here’s some problems with it which were almost exactly why I made redesigns of them in the first place:

The slime doesn’t often turn out good, even if instructions are read correctly.

(taken from this video)

I’ve seen a review of the toys and it seems that even if you read the instructions carefully, the slime will often turn out liquid-y, WAY too sticky, and pretty much unicorn diarrhea. Not to mention that it seems after a couple days even when contained, the slime becomes rubbery and easy to break.

It tries too hard make feces look glamorous.

I won’t lie, I’ve almost always wanted to see a gross out toy that appealed to girls. But the thing about Poopsie Surprise is that it often decides not to engage in the “grossness” and instead tries to make the poop look genuinely cute and girly. But hey, that might also be an achievement, I’m not sure.

The unicorns are dressed rather inappropriately for their age.

If you looked at the Poopsie Surprise Unicorns, you’ll see that from the size, proportions, the looks of the toilet that they come with, the fact you spoon feed them, and the fact they’re wearing diapers, these unicorns seem to be about the toddler age range. But if that’s so… why are their shirts that short?! Sure, it might be to show that the belly button can be pushed to dispense the slime, and MGA just thought it was genuinely cute, but still, I honestly don’t think kids that young should be wearing crop-tops.

On another note, Oopsie Starlight is shown to be tattooed. I shudder to imagine what hearing her getting them could be like. (hint: most likely lots of screaming) Unless she either drew them on herself with some markers, or they’re birthmarks. I dunno.

To be honest, it seems MGA Entertainment has had this problem for quite some while now, with Bratz Babyz and a majority of the LOL Surprise dolls. I think they just thought it was funny and cute for these kid characters to dress as adults because of what I like to call “Comedic Precociousness” (AKA Adorably Precocious Child), but instead it just comes off as creepy! It’s like the designers are ASKING to be thrown in jail.

The designs as a whole fall into uncanny valley.

Seriously, both those poop keychains and unicorn dolls just STARE into your soul! Who thought it was a good idea to put shiny big-pupil eyes with glittery eyelashes and lipstick on a poop-emoji shape?! And the unicorns look like Doctor Moreau managed to fuse unicorns with human infants, it’s just not right! Where even are the unicorn’s TAILS?! One more thing, I think the poop should look less like cartoon poop and more like slime, which is what unicorn poop IS! (that last one’s just my opinion, i’ll admit)

This. Just this.

I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I got for now, thanks for reading.