#poop killer 6

[thankjpg]

Poop Killer 6

[felassan]

David Gaider on Shale, under a cut for length:

"Oops! I realized I'd moved on from DAO but missed one of the companions I'd written. Which checks out, honestly, because I almost didn't write Shale and, even after I'd written her, she almost didn't happen anyhow. Then she did. Prepare yourself for... PIGEON QUEST. 🦤 So... I'm wracking my brain, but I don't recall how Shale began. I have this vague memory of us wanting a "weird" party member who didn't conform to the normal classes (this was back when Dog didn't need to be in the party), and I think my mind drifted to an old indie comic character named Concrete."

"Now, your reaction to that is probably "who?" That's OK. When I explain that HK-47 in KotOR was inspired by an old Canadian TV show called the Littlest Hobo I get the same perplexed response. 😅 In short: Concrete was just a regular dude. Who happened to also be a walking hulk of rock. Cue hi-jinx. The problem here is I don't remember whether the Concrete thing was part of the original inspiration or something I thought of at the point when I started writing the character. Because I didn't, at first. That was later. Shale was initially taken on by Jay Turner, then one of our junior writers. Jay had an idea to make Shale more of a robot, an emotionless automoton killer... think HK-47, but without the layer of sarcasm. I was leery, and told Jay he'd have to be very careful. "Emotionless" can very quickly turn into "boring", after all, unless you're VERY careful. But Jay was determined. Sigh. This was a fail on my part, as his lead. There's been a couple of times in my career when I've let a junior convince me with their enthusiasm to take on something my experience said they shouldn't. And then watch their confidence crumble despite every effort I made to reassure them it was OK. This was one of those times. Jay, no idea if you'll read this but: I'm sorry. Even an experienced writer would have found that a daunting challenge. Tonia, my other Big Fail on a similar situation in DAI: I'm sorry. Both times, I should have known. You did your best, but I set you up to fail. 😔"

"Jay did his best, and this version of Shale was certainly interesting... but, when he was done, it was one of those peer reviews where every writer had that look of "I'm REALLY sorry to say this..." It felt flat. Jay tried numerous revisions, but the issue wasn't his ability - it was the concept. I only allowed my writers a certain number of tries before I take it away. This hearkens back to an earlier time at Bio when writers would hack away at something that wasn't working 6, 7, 8 times or more until finally their soul was dust. Mike Laidlaw can attest. Revision isn't always the answer. So I moved (a much relieved, I think) Jay onto something else, and the question arose: what do we do with Shale? Do we cut it? It was already very late. Then Shale dropped in my lap. I don't remember if it was me refusing to let it go or maybe Brent (Knowles, Creative Director) giving it to me. I suspect it was the latter, because I recall being a bit bitter about the whole thing. WHAT am I going to do with this character? At the time, they'd moved me out of the writers pit to instead be in a big office with the other leads. I had this corner desk by a window (yay) with an awful view (ugh) What was so awful about it? It looked out onto the neighbouring roof, where there was only an HVAC unit to see. In the winter, pigeons would gather around it. They pooped all over everything - there was this alcove around the access door, right? The pigeons roosted there and it was POOP FAUCET city."

"Not only that, the pigeons used the HVAC like some kind of sex den. Angry, ugly pigeon sex. The only respite was when a hawk would appear and the pigeons scattered. Then I'd get maybe a day when there was a single pigeon corpse, like an exploded ball of down, to act as a scarecrow. Good days, those. What does any of this have to do with Shale? Well, there's me, staring out the window trying desperately to think what I'm going to do. But I CAN'T stare out the window because, gross. But what else am I going to stare at while I think? It was making me furious. I hated those pigeons SO SO MUCH. And then it hit me: Shale is basically an animated statue, right? Something that pigeons are rather notorious for also gathering on? And so I wrote. I wrote like the angry, angry wind. I had zero time to do this so it was basically me vomiting all my annoyance at everything into a single character. Not that it helped much. There was a battle going on over Shale - first, as I recall, it was the art team. They were going to make every doorway in the game EXTRA HUGE because they were worried that Shale was too large and might clip. So, yes, let's alter the whole world to fix that. Good idea. 🙃 Eventually, they compromised by making Shale smaller. Sten-sized. Or Brent went Akira mode, but I don't really know. This was a battle happening above my level. Yet Shale got cut anyhow. There wasn't time to do her abilities and we were short on cinematics time. There was never enough time on DAO."

""Oh well," I thought. "That's that." I did what I could, but cut content is almost never resurrected. The idea was floated of making Shale into a DLC but I scoffed. Yeah, right! But... it happened. That's why the "almost" is there. Enough of the team liked Shale they made it happen this one time. This meant I could finish up the writing once we'd more or less wrapped DAO, and the rest of the team (cinematics, in particular, who were pressed the hardest for time) could move onto the Shale DLC once they were ready. It was supposed to come out well after release, but you know. Shenanigans. This particular shenanigan was EA deciding to sit on the finished DAO a few months in order to delay the release. Why? Again, not my level. To get closer to Christmas, maybe, or maybe for sim ship. It did mean Shale ended up being ready for release day. Unexpected confluence of events, honestly. Cue some fans getting upset that "cut content" was sold to them separately, which... fair, I guess? The alternative would have been that Shale was simply cut, period, and it just worked out this way but... yes, fair. This was back when DLC was the main beef of hardcore gamers. Oh, the good old days. Overall? I have a soft spot for Shale. She has no soft spot for anyone, being... you know... made of rock. It's why I put her in Asunder, and why she was also going to be in the - apparently now notorious for its Fenris murder - cancelled fourth DA novel. Also, if you're a pigeon fan: not sorry. 😇"

[source thread]

[multifandomlover01]

To Drown In Your Love

(Simp!)Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader (menstruating reader, female anatomy)

Established Relationship

WC: ~3.4k

Warnings: 18+ MDNI menstruation is discussed, pads are mentioned but you could just adjust the time mention and pretend it says tampons or something else, it’s not that big a deal, female fingering while on period, Spencer being horny but also determined to not succumb to it, both parties achieve orgasm (either simultaneously or female first and male soon thereafter)

Disclaimer: I understand that some times I have put for female orgasm may not be accurate. I am a female...I know. But this is fiction so...it's not gonna be 100% realistic

Note: reader is a child behavior specialist (expert on child witnesses, victims and perpetrators; debriefs children after they’ve experienced a trauma) because I wrote this for myself and that’s how I imagine/write myself in the CM universal

Gif credit: hotch-girl

Gif not necessarily indicative of timeline placement

“JJ…JJ, no…not a case. Not now. Please.” You beg her as she goes towards the conference room as she exists her office.

“Sorry. Duty calls.” She gives you a sympathetic look as she waves the files in her hand.

You groan lightly and lay your head on your desk. Your period was due to start any day now and you hated starting it when you were on a case. If there was one thing your body and you yourself hated, it was a lack of consistency and continuity.

Your body sometimes just said: “girl, tf are you doing on a plane going to North Dakota?”

Like…it’s my job…please…cooperate?

Nope. Guess what? You gotta poop. On the plane. With your coworkers. Or guess what else? Blood. Haha. Who said God didn’t have a sense of humor?

Your boyfriend Spencer, who sometimes was more attuned to your body than you were, knew exactly why you didn’t wish to go on a case right now. He comes over to your desk and places his hands on your shoulders. He leans down to kiss you on the head.

“It’ll be ok.” He says softly, intending to be reassuring. He simply gets a groan in response.

He goes over to his go bag and checks to make sure he has extra pads, water bottles, acetaminophen, and underwear for you. He’s well prepared and stocked as usual.

He comes back over to you. He leans down, wrapping his arms around you. He kisses your temple. “I’ve got pads, underwear, pain killers and water, all for you, ok? Don’t worry, hon.”

You lean back into him, relaxing a bit. “Thank you. You’re the best.”

“Only because you deserve the best.”

The team is called into the conference room.

Another case in California. On the other side of the country. Great. Child victims and witnesses too. My favorite, my area of expertise. Just the right case for my period to start in the middle of.

There was that delightful divine or cosmic sense of humor again. You’d rather just go home and crawl into bed but no…a child needs to be saved and a killer needs to be stopped.

The team is dismissed and Spencer helps you pack your go bag and get it loaded onto the plane.

-

After a long and exhausting day, Spencer and you finally arrived at your hotel. The team parted ways as they went to their rooms. Hotch had taken to pairing Spencer and you up when it was needed. He’s become resigned to the fact that you two worked better at your jobs when you weren’t separated. He also knew he couldn’t keep the two of you from sneaking into another room when you had separate ones so he thought he’d just go ahead and save you the trouble.

As soon as you got into the room, Spencer unloaded your bag as well as his. He produced a pad for you.

“It’s been six hours.” He said simply, referring to when you’d gotten your period earlier in the day and had put a pad on. Sometimes the job got in the way of hygiene. You tried your best but sometimes stuff slips away from you a little. Fortunately, 6 hours wasn’t entirely too horrible.

You took the pad, along with the sleep wear he had additionally produced, and offered a small thanks before slipping into the bathroom to change.

Coming back out, you were feeling better as you had a clean pad and a clean set of clothes (a t-shirt and shorts) on.

Spencer had already changed into an old short sleeve CalTech t-shirt and a pair of long, light weight pj pants (even though you were in California, he didn’t own one pair of shorts, mostly because he was insecure about how scrawny his legs were (ignores that S9 (?) ep I guess)). He looked up from his book when he heard you exit the bathroom.

“Hey. Are you feeling better?” He asked softly, giving you a sympathetic look.

You smile. “Much. Thank you.”

Hotch had put you two in a single bed room because only so much money was allotted for rooms and a single bed room happened to be a little cheaper than another double bed room.

You join him on the bed, snuggling up to him. He puts one arm around your shoulder. You lay your head on his chest. He starts to read out loud softly. You don’t know specifically what he’s reading and it doesn’t matter. You just love to hear his voice.

After a while, he starts to notice you shifting a bit.

“You ok?” He stops reading. He looks down at you.

“Mhm.” You nod. “Yeah. ‘M fine. Keep reading.”

“You sure?” He asks, wondering if you are masking your pain for his benefit. “Are you feeling any cramping?”

You murmur incoherently somewhat.

“Sweetheart? Are you ok?” He slides his hand down to your lower back where he begins to rub softly.

You sigh softly. Spencer chuckles.

“Oh? Is that it? Are you hurting down here?” You could almost picture the sly smirk on his face as you now have your eyes closed as you laid your head against his shoulder.

You nod. “Yeah.”

Without a word, he puts his book down on the nightstand, detaches you from him and turns you to face away from him. His hands find purchase on your lower back, his thumbs digging into your muscles. You groan softly.

“That’s it, love. Just let me take care of you.” He lifts your t-shirt up and pulls your shorts down a bit. His thumbs rub circles over your muscles on your bare skin.

“Does this feel good, hon?” He asks softly.

“Mhm. Yes. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. It’s my job to take care of my girl.”

You chuckle lightly. “A job you do very well.”

“Well, I try.” You were turned away from him and there was no way you were twisting to face him right now. But you could still almost picture his pink cheeks and shy smile.

“You succeed.” You reassure him softly.

“It’s just…you deserve the world and I…I wanna give it to you, you know?”

“You do, hon, you do. Trust me, ok?”

“Ok.”

His thumbs continue to dig into your lower back. His body presses into yours. “Do you feel better?”

“Mhm.”

As time goes by, you visibly relax. You are reacting to him touching you and he notices he’s reacting to touching you. He tries to focus on you and not himself.

“You know…sometimes I forget just how much our touch affects each other.” He chuckles softly.

“We touch each other quite a lot, even when we aren’t supposed to…how on earth could you forget?”

“I don’t know, to be honest,” he chuckles lightly, “it’s just…every time I touch you…I feel this warmth spread through me.”

“We talking mushy romance like or are we teetering towards lewdness.”

He audibly shudders. “Sweetheart…” he chuckles.

“What? I’m your girlfriend, Spencer. You’ve been massaging a fairly intimate part of me for half an hour now…you’re allowed to be sexually attracted to me.”

“It’s actually only been 23 minutes and 37 seconds.” He said softly.

“You’re deflecting.”

“Sorry…” He murmurs.

“Don’t be. And don’t be ashamed of being attracted to your girlfriend.”

“I just…you drive me crazy, ok? And…sometimes that scares me.”

“I assume you mean in a good way. Why would that scare you?”

“I’ve never…I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before. I don’t wanna screw it up by acting like a horny teenager.”

You chuckled. “I doubt you could screw this up even if you were to do that.”

“R-Really? You mean that?” He asked hopefully.

“Spencer…is there something you want to tell me that you’re not telling me?” You asked curiously.

“Maybe.” He murmurs.

“Can you please tell me? Can we talk about this?”

“You’re gonna hate me.”

“I could never hate you, hon.”

“I love you…so much. I feel…so…deeply for you. It scares me sometimes and I’m afraid it might scare you if I don’t show restraint.”

“I honestly don’t think anything you could do could ever scare me, sweetheart.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Well what is it exactly that you think is gonna scare me?”

“I really like touching you and I feel like I’m being selfish when I’m trying relieve your pain and discomfort but all I can think about is how touching you makes me feel.”

“You think you being horny is going to scare me? You’re a man. You’re my partner. It’s a natural reaction.”

“I know that. But…it just feels wrong that I am sexually attracted to you right now while I’m trying to help you with your period pain.”

“Period sex is a thing, you know. I get horny on my period too. It’s ok.”

“Well yeah but you’re not actually saying you’d wanna have…sex with me while you’re on your period…are you?”

“You’re telling me you don’t know the statistics on how orgasms can reduce cramps?”

“Well I uh y-yes…I do know that but I guess I just didn’t know if you’d be up for that. I guess I just kinda figured you’d be against it.”

“I’ll admit that I’ve never been too keen on the idea but I’d be ok if you maybe wanted to uh…finger me?”

“Really? You’d let me do that?” His face practically lights up.

“Yeah, if you want.” You shrug. You trusted him.

“I’ll get a pillow and a towel.” And just like that he’s off the bed like a rocket.

You chuckled at his enthusiasm as he chucked a small pillow from a chair at you which you caught and went to lay on your back with it under you as he went into the bathroom to get a towel.

He is so excited to get back with the towel and to see you lying on your back with the pillow underneath you and with your legs spread that he almost trips over himself and throws the towel at you as well. He scrambles up onto the bed. He looks at you with heart eyes.

“You’re sure you’re good with this?” He asks with concern in his voice, almost like he’s scared he’s pushing you into this. He places the towel under your butt so it is also under your vagina and legs so if anything gets messy, nothing will get on the white hotel sheets and the poor staff won’t have to get blood stains out of them.

“As long as you are.” You assured him.

“Oh I’m more than sure,” he chuckles, “I just wanted to make sure that you were ok with it.”

"I'm ok with it. I promise. I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't ok with it." You reassure him as you place your hand on top of his.

"Then c-can I..." He trails off as he gestures to your underwear.

"Mhm. You can, yes."

He beams as he leans forward and grasps the sides of your underwear and slowly pulls them down (If tampon user or a user of anything that needs to be removed: He carefully removes it and places it on the edge of the towel). He cleans the area with a warm, wet, washcloth that he’d brought from the bathroom.

"That better? You feel cleaner now? More comfortable, hmm?"

You nod. You'd cleaned yourself up in the bathroom when you'd gone in and changed but having him clean the area with the cloth did indeed provide you with some comfort. And you knew he'd only done it for your benefit. When it came to you, his germaphobia kinda checked out a little. He knew you. He trusted you. Sure you were as gross as any other person, but you were his person and that made it ok.

You were shocked the first time he told you he wanted to eat you out about six months into your relationship. You weren’t the one to bring it up, he was. You would’ve thought that he'd find putting his face in your private area to be an absolutely disgusting notion. But there was nothing disgusting about the way that he absolutely went to town on your pussy that first time (unless you’re a pearl clutching Southern old lady or something). Hair or no hair. Bush or trimmed. Shaved or waxed. He literally didn't care. You had just showered earlier that day and had put clean clothes on so he knew you were clean (he helped you out with personal hygiene sometimes, especially when you were struggling). He ate you out until you came twice within about 15 or so minutes. It was the first time he’d ever performed oral on a person with a pussy, too. He’d done his research, though, as he always did. He knew in theory what to do and was a quick learner in practice. Being a behavioral analyst certainly came in handy in the bedroom.

He tentatively reaches out with his hand to touch your clit. You shiver. He spreads your folds to reveal your clit more, his thumb brushing against it.

"You have such a pretty clit, baby." He rubs his thumb back and forth over it.

“Th-thank you.” Even after all this time, his compliments still held the ability to make you blush.

He rubs in rhythmic circles just the way he knows makes you feel good. It takes a few seconds for him to find the right rhythm but he always knows when he's found it by the way your body tenses and the way your breath hitches.

"You're really sensitive on your period, aren't you?" He murmurs

You nod. You whimper softly as he continues to rub your already sensitive button.

"Lots of women are. Your testosterone levels are increased on your period, and your estrogen and progesterone are decreased. The hormone dance that's happening in your body at this time lends itself to an increased libido."

You want to chuckle at his use of the phrase "hormone dance" but you're too focused on his increased pace on your clit. He's rubbing it in just the right way that's making you start to feel gooey inside. Little whines and whimpers begin to escape you.

Spencer cannot bring himself to care that you weren't giving him your undivided attention as he explained why your sex drive was currently increased. He didn't care that you didn't chuckle at his use of the phrase "hormone dance". He only cared about making you produce more of those addicting noises.

He can tell that you're squirming and whimpering more earlier on than you usually do. He loved how sensitive and responsive you were.

"I bet it's not going to be long before you're cumming, hmm?"

"Wh-what's our record again?"

"Ten minutes."

"I'd say...that we're well on our way there...wouldn't you? We can make that.”

"Mhm...I'd say so. Especially if I..." he increases the sped at which the index and middle fingers of his right hand are circling your clit.

You moan softly. “Oh…yeah…”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

“Mhm. It does.”

“Maybe I should go a little faster.” he increases his rhythm and is hitting it just right at just the right speed.

You whimper softly. “Fuck.”

“Oh? You like that, hon?” He is grinning now.

“Mhm…I like…a lot.” You nod.

Your breathing quickens. Little whines and whimpers begin to escape you.

“Yeah? You do? How long do you think it’s gonna be before you’re cumming? Five minutes? Eight minutes?”

“Are you…keeping track?” You pant lightly as he is expertly rubbing your clit and it’s got you mewling.

“Always.” He says as he looks at you with a determination in his eyes. You wonder how he can pleasure you and observe you while also calculating the time so precisely but then again, he’s a genius. You’re not so sure that technically explained it but you knew better than to ask or argue with him.

He continues to strategically strum your clit, using his experience with you and his experience with behavioral analysis to determine what you like and dislike and what to do and what not to do to get you there. He leans down to kiss your temple. His lips move to your ear, where he kisses the shell of it.

“Four minutes and 15 seconds and counting.” He whispers, his voice thick with desire.

“I don’t know if…we’re gonna make five minutes.” You chuckle softly.

“I’ll settle for eight.” He chuckles as he dips his fingers down to my entrance to collect some of my arousal before going back to rub my clit.

He’s hitting just the right spot at just the right pace.

“F-fuck never mind.” You say and your voice is higher in pitch.

“Hmm? Yeah? If I keep going like this, are we gonna make that five minute mark after all? You gonna cum in 8 minutes total time for me, honey?”

“Shit y-yeah, I think I am.” You chuckle. “How the hell is that even…possible?”

“You’re stressed…pent up…and aroused. And…you’re with me.” His soft smile turns into a devilish grin. He was allowed to be cocky because God knows this man knew your body inside and out and knew exactly what he was doing.

“That’s…true.” You chuckle softly.

He continued to skillfully work you towards an orgasm. You noticed his hips rutting.

“I can touch you too. You know that, right?”

He shakes his head no. “No. I’m fine. This is about you. Don’t worry about me.”

“I always worry about you. I know you were embarrassed before but…you’re allowed to be turned on and want pleasure. How long have you been aroused? Since you began massaging me? More than half an hour ago?”

He sighs and nods. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Does it hurt?”

“It’s not exactly comfortable.” He chuckled.

“Let me touch you, please. You’re touching me. It’s only fair.” You look at him pleadingly.

“This wasn’t…about me. This was about you.” He grunts, trying to contain himself and not give in to his own pleasure because he really would like to focus more on you right now.

“And what did I say about you feeling that way?”

He sighs. “That it was ok.” He whispered softly.

“That’s right. There’s no reason that both of us can’t feel good.”

“But I…”

“No buts, honey. You deserve to feel good too.” You reached for his pants but he bats your hand away. You look at him confused.

“I’m sorry. But I’m afraid if you pleasure me, I won’t be able to focus as much as I want to on you. Just…please…let me make you feel good.”

You lock eyes. His warm eyes are darker, his pupils dilated.

“If you’re sure.”

“I’m more than sure, sweetheart. Now let me make you feel good…please.”

It doesn’t take him long before he’s got you feeling close again. He is rutting against the mattress at an increased pace now. He looks determined and focused on making you cum. You’d never know that he himself is nearing his own orgasm.

“You close? Gonna cum for me, honey?”

You whine. “Yeah.”

“Good. Me too.”

You don’t have time to process this before a few rubs over your clit with just the right amount of pressure in just the right way are sending you over the edge, causing you to whimper as you grip the sheets.

“That’s it…that’s my girl.” He softly praises as he helps you through your orgasm. You are too engrossed in your own feelings to notice that he’d been moving in just the right way to get the right amount of friction to make him release as well.

You come down from your high, panting slightly.

“Jesus…thank you. Now…are you sure you don’t want me to…” You trail off as you look at his crotch and notice a wet patch.

“That’s evidently not necessary.” He murmured, chuckling softly.

“Did you…” You ask, slightly amazed by how he’d been able to cum just from what he was doing. You never realized how aroused your own arousal made him.

He nods. “Yes. I did.”

“Oh…ok…” Your cheeks tinge pink as you smile.

“You wanna…take a shower?” He asks, sensing the slight awkwardness around the subject.

“Yeah…that sounds good.” You nod.

He uses the rag from earlier to clean up a bit before helping you off the bed and toward the shower, grabbing clean clothes along the way.

[duvi0]

LONELINESS KILLER!! LONELINESS KILLER!!

Hi, I'm Duvi, and I have been hoping to grow or strengthen bonds with people for a while now, but haven't been in environments that were good for me. As a result, I have a low friend index and not much to draw on socially. So, I'm sending out this message to the void for anyone else who wants to KILL their loneliness!

If you fit multiple of the following criteria, you are a good start for a mutual or even a friend!

are between the ages of 21 and 30

are some flavor of queer, any gender or sexuality included

are anti-authoritarian

share in the interests of others even when they don't fit your own

listen to a vast variety of music from a vast variety of genres

are open to playing or hearing about a wide variety of games

are routinely available or enjoy being available to talk

3 or more of the above are preferred, 6 or more is incredible

Now all of that is well and good, but what I want to get into is the more granular individual interests since that's what I can easily tag for relevance!

If you are interested in the bands and artists The Mars Volta, Aesop Rock, PUP, Run the Jewels, Red Vox, Everything Everything, and/or Femtanyl, that is an opening.

If you are interested in the video games Hylics, Team Fortress 2, Your Only Move is Hustle, Rivals of Aether, pretty much any roguelike, Darkest Dungeon, Inscryption, the Pikmin franchise, or the Kirby franchise, that is an opening.

If you watch the YouTubers Vinesauce, Grayfruit, Big Yellow, Dead Meat, Caddicarus, Rata/Rank10YGO, Wambu, Hivemind, and/or anyone who animates or does YouTube Poops, that is an opening.

If you have an opening, meet any criteria, and are feeling anywhere near as lonely as I am, give me a shout in DMs, shoot me an ask, or send me a message on discord @duvi0! Here's hoping this message in a bottle kills some loneliness!

[disease]

The Rhino Brothers Present the World's Worst Records: Volumes 1 & 2 are a series of compilation albums released by Rhino Records in 1983 & 1985. They purport to compile the worst music ever recorded and feature mostly novelty songs, parodies and cover versions of popular songs, performed very poorly (though in many cases, intentionally so, either as a novelty or as a joke). The original first volume included an airsickness bag and a warning that the album 'may cause internal discomfort.' Full track lists include...

VOLUME 1 [1983]: 1. "The Crusher" (The Novas) 2. "Big Girls Don't Cry" (Edith Massey and The Eggs) 3. "I Want My Baby Back" (Jimmy Cross) 4. "I Like" (Heathen Dan) 5. "Kazooed on Klassics" (The Temple City Kazoo Orchestra) 6. "Fluffy" (Gloria Balsam) 7. "Paralyzed" (Legendary Stardust Cowboy) 8. "I Wanna Be Your Dog" (The Seven Stooges) 9. "Boogie Woogie Amputee" (Barnes and Barnes) 10. "Kinko the Clown" (Ogden Edsl) 11. "Umbassa and the Dragon" (The Turtles) 12. "Ugly" (Johnny Meeskite) 13. "Surfin' Tragedy" (The Breakers) 14. "Young at Heart" (Wild Man Fischer) [YOUTUBE: FULL ALBUM]

VOLUME 2 [1985]: 1. "Downtown" (Mrs. Miller) 2. "K'nish Doctor" (Mickey Katz) 3. "Party in My Pants" (Barnes and Barnes) 4. "Foreign Novelty Smash" (The Credibility Gap) 5. "Nag" (The Halos) 6. "Who Hid the Halibut on the Poop Deck" (Yogi Yorgesson) 7. "Goodbye Sam" (Shad O'Shea) 8. "Just a Big Ego" (Bob Rivers and Zip) 9. "Candy Rapper" (Bird & MacDonald/"Sticky Fingers") 10. "Hands" (Debbie Dawn) 11. "Baseball Card Lover" (Rockin' Richie Ray) 12. "Fudd on the Hill" (Little Roger and the Goosebumps) 13. "Split Level Head" (Napoleon XIV) 14. "Teenage Enema Nurses in Bondage" (Killer Pussy) 15. "The Troggs Tapes" (The Troggs)

[quietlyqueering]

I'm gonna write down a bit about the hospital stay for my hysterectomy. Mostly, so that I remember it better.

Four days before the surgery I had to go to the hospital and do all the admission stuff and had my talks with the surgeon and the anaesthetist where I could also ask if I had any more questions. They also gave me a syringe for thrombosis protection that I had to inject the evening before surgery.

On the day of surgery I wasn't allowed to eat or drink and I had to be in hospital at 7 am. There I had to change into the surgery gown and pants and was informed that I needed to shave my pubic area, so I did that. I also had some blood taken. Shortly after, I was wheeled to the surgery preparation where I changed into another bed, got my IV and all the monitoring devices and was then put under.

I don't remember much of the rest of the day because I was extremely tired after. I just remember that I felt like I needed to pee really badly and tried to get up several times because it hadn't quite sunk in that I just had surgery and shouldn't move. My brain somehow couldn't comprehend the people telling me that I had a catheter, so I didn't actually needed to pee and that I should stay in bed. They had to put the rails up on the sides of my bed because of that. The most part of the day I spent sleeping, I ate like 1/5 of a slice of bread and a pickle for dinner and then slept again. The nurse looking after me was really nice and also complimented me on my name which made me happy.

The first day after surgery I woke up and was in a moderate amount of pain but still to sleepy to really care. In the morning the catheter and the tamponade (some stuff that was in the vagina to prevent bleeding) were removed which was mostly uncomfortable and not very painful. Later that morning the doctors came, had a look at my wounds, removed the drain I had in one of my sutures and was told that everything had gone well. After that I was allowed to get up (the first time with help) and try peeing which worked quite well. I spent the rest of the day sleeping and reading and calling my parents to tell them I was fine (the day before I had only managed a short text).

On the second day after surgery I was way more awake and started to walk around my room for a bit. I was still in a significant amount of pain but could alway get pain meds when it got to bad. Most of the time I read or listened to music and I also slept a bit during the day. The doctors only checked in shortly to ask if everything was alright and to tell me that I was allowed to take a shower now. So I did that because I felt a bit greasy and disgusting. It was exhausting but managable. I was also told that day that I needed to get my bowel movement going before I could leave. As that still hadn't happened by the evening, I then got a laxative.

The next night was a bit more uncomfortable because the laxative was working its way through my stomach but by the early morning I could finally poop. That meant I could leave onthe third day after surgery. In the morning the doctor had a final look at my insides via ultrasound and removed the last bandaid. She also showed me some pictures from during the surgery. I was then given some more thrombosis syringes for the next few days ( I hate them; I hate needles and it's painful a lot of the time) and waited for my ride to pick me up and drive me home. During that wait I realised that the wound where the bandaid had been removed had been bleeding quite a lot so for the next few hours I had some very bloody pants. But fortunately by the time I realised this, it had already stopped bleeding.

Okay, that was a long post. If you've read it and still have questions feel free to ask them (here or in the asks).

Edit: I was told that I'm not allowed to lift more than 5 kg and do sports for 6 weeks after surgery. The stitches get removed 7 days after surgery. Also I'm still in enough pain to take pain killers 2-3 times a day.

[itsawritblr]

I want books and movies that are funny.

Not potty humor. I loved Bob's Burgers until they packed it with poop, pee, and fart "jokes." I found potty humor boring when I was 6 and I find it even more so now.

I want clever, witty, fun comedy. I want comedy that's not trying to Teach Me A Life Lesson or comment on politics or some other bullshit.

I just want to laugh.

My best friend and I were trying to remember the last time we saw a movie or TV show that made us laugh out loud. We couldn't remember a damn thing.

Except this. The Royal Shakespeare Company's 2017 production of Twelfth Night. It doesn't try to be serious or Teach Us About Shakespeare. It's just silly.

In this scene Sir Toby Belch (the brilliant Tim McMullan) tricks Cesario/Olivia (disguised as a young man) and Sir Andrew Aguecheek into a duel. He lies his ass off about each of them being a cold-hearted killer, and both are terrified. I adore Sir Toby's delight in his prank.

We need more comedy for the sake of comedy.

[leekimdramas]

Miss Night and Day Review

I didn't give up on watching this drama but why did the writer give up on making it good?

One day Lee Mi Jin begs for a change in her life and to her surprise the next morning she wakes up as an old lady.

As she tries to find a way to get back to her normal life she doesn't back down and gives a shot at living as an older woman Im Sun.

The start of the drama quite surprised me, in a good way. The plot is a bit ridiculous but it's fun nonetheless.

I have enjoyed watching Lee Mi Jin and her struggles at her new workplace.

However, everything started to drag. The serial killer on the loose as the side plot was interesting, I would have loved seeing them investigate it more but we got crumbs of it every episode and that's it.

I expected a lot more romance from this drama than we've got. There are some cute moments and the chemistry is there. Because the secret of Mi Jin changing her body lasted so long, we barely saw them act all cute and couple-like.

Let's be honest the whole reveal thing just happened way too late. We even got a breakup trope that was definitely not needed.

The second male lead was cute and they seemed to get more moments than the main couple.

The secondary couple was a bit icky for me. I know they're both adults but I did not get her attraction and both of their scenes were cringe.

Overall, I did enjoy the first half of the drama, while the second half was just a letdown. There were some really lame jokes but not even Lovely Runner could avoid poop jokes, so don't expect this drama to.

6/10

[a3cc54]

charlie kelly <3 waitress

mac macdonald bonnie kelly

dennis reynolds

dee reynolds

frank reynolds

season 1

S01E01: the gang gets racist

S01E02: charlie wants an abortion

S01E03: underage drinking: a national concern

S01E04: charlie has cancer

S01E05: gun fever

S01E06: the gang finds a dead guy

S01E07: charlie got molested

season 2

S02E01: charlie gets crippled

S02E02: the gang goes jihad

S02E03: dennis and dee go on welfare

S02E04: mac bangs dennis’ mom

S02E05: hundred dollar baby

S02E06: the gang gives back

S02E07: the gang exploits a miracle

S02E08: the gang runs for office

S02E09: charlie goes america all over everybody’s ass

S02E10: dennis and dee get a new dad

season 3

S03E01: the gang finds a dumpster baby

S03E02: the gang gets invincible

S03E03: dennis and dee’s mom is dead

S03E04: the gang gets held hostage

S03E05: the aluminum monster vs fatty magoo

S03E06: the gang solves the north korea situation

S03E07: the gang sells out

S03E08: frank sets sweet dee on fire

S03E09: sweet dee’s dating a retarded person

S03E10: mac is a serial killer

S03E11: dennis looks like a registered sex offender

S03E12: the gang gets whacked: part 1

S03E13: the gang gets whacked: part 2

S03E14: bums: making a mess all over the city

S03E15: the gang dances their asses off

season 4

S04E01: mac & dennis: manhunters

S04E02: the gang solves the gas crisis

S04E03: america's next top paddy's billboard model contest

S04E04: mac’s banging the waitress

S04E05: mac and charlie die: part 1

S04E06: mac and charlie die: part 2

S04E07: who pooped the bed?

S04E08: paddy’s pub: the worst bar in philadelphia

S04E09: dennis reynolds: an erotic life

S04E10: sweet dee has a heart attack

S04E11: the gang cracks the liberty bell

S04E12: the gang gets extreme: home makeover edition

S04E13: the nightman cometh

season 5

S05E01: the gang exploits the mortgage crisis

S05E02: the gang hits the road

S05E03: the great recession

S05E04: the gang gives frank an intervention

S05E05: the waitress is getting married

S05E06: the world series defense

S05E07: the gang wrestles for the troops

S05E08: paddy’s pub: home of the original kitten mittens

S05E09: mac and dennis break up

S05E10: the d.e.n.n.i.s. system

S05E11: mac and charlie write a movie

S05E12: the gang reignites the rivalry

S05SPC: a very sunny christmas

season 6

S06E01: mac fights gay marriage

S06E02: dennis gets divorced

S06E03: the gang buys a boat

S06E04: mac’s big break

S06E05: mac and charlie: white trash

S06E06: mac’s mom burns her house down

S06E07: who got dee pregnant?

S06E08: the gang gets a new member

S06E09: dee reynolds: shaping america’s youth

S06E10: charlie kelly: king of the rats

S06E11: the gang gets stranded in the woods

S06E12: dee gives birth

season 7

S07E01: frank’s pretty woman

S07E02: the gang goes to the jersey shore

S07E03: frank reynolds’ little beauties

S07E04: sweet dee gets audited

S07E05: frank’s brother

S07E06: the storm of the century

S07E07: chardee macdennis: the game of games

S07E08: the anti social network

S07E09: the gang gets trapped

S07E10: how mac got fat

S07E11: thunder gun express

S07E12: the high school reunion: part 1

S07E13: the high school reunion: part 2

season 8

S08E01: pop-pop: the final solution

S08E02: the gang recycles their trash

S08E03: the maureen ponderosa wedding massacre

S08E04: charlie and dee find love

S08E05: the gang gets analyzed

S08E06: charlie’s mom has cancer

S08E07: frank’s back in business

S08E08: charlie rules the world

S08E09: the gang dines out

S08E10: reynolds vs reynolds: the cereal defense

season 9

S09E01: the gang broke dee

S09E02: gun fever too: still hot

S09E03: the gang tries desperately to win an award

S09E04: mac and dennis buy a timeshare

S09E05: mac day

S09E06: the gang saves the day

S09E07: the gang gets quarantined

S09E08: flowers for charlie

S09E09: the gang makes lethal weapon 6

S09E10: the gang squashes their beefs

season 10

S10E01: the gang beats boggs

S10E02: the gang group dates

S10E03: psycho pete returns

S10E04: charlie work

S10E05: the gang spies like u.s.

S10E06: the gang misses the boat

S10E07: mac kills his dad

S10E08: the gang goes on family fight

S10E09: frank retires

S10E10: ass kickers united: mac and charlie join a cult

season 11

S11E01: chardee macdennis 2: electric boogaloo

S11E02: frank falls out the window

S11E03: the gang hits the slopes

S11E04: dee made a smut film

S11E05: mac and dennis move to the suburbs

S11E06: being frank

S11E07: mcpoyle vs ponderosa: the trial of the century

S11E08: charlie catches a leprechaun

S11E09: the gang goes to hell: part 1

S11E10: the gang goes to hell: part 2

season 12

S12E01: the gang turns black

S12E02: the gang goes to a waterpark

S12E03: old lady house: a situational comedy

S12E04: wolf cola: a public relations nightmare

S12E05: making dennis reynolds a murderer

S12E06: hero or hate crime?

S12E07: ptsdee

S12E08: the gang tends bar

S12E09: a cricket’s tale

S12E10: dennis’ double life

season 13

S13E01: the gang makes paddy’s great again

S13E02: the gang escapes

S13E03: the gang beats boggs: ladies reboot

S13E04: time’s up for the gang

S13E05: the gang gets new wheels

S13E06: the gang solves the bathroom problem

S13E07: the gang does a clip show

S13E08: charlie’s home alone

S13E09: the gang wins the big game

S13E10: mac finds his pride

season 14

S14E01: the gang gets romantic

S14E02: thunder gun 4: maximum cool

S14E03: dee day

S14E04: the gang chokes

S14E05: the gang texts

S14E06: the janitor always mops twice

S14E07: the gang solves global warming

S14E08: paddy’s has a jumper

S14E09: a woman’s right to chop

S14E10: waiting for big mo

season 15

S15E01: 2020: a year in review

S15E02: the gang makes lethal weapon 7

S15E03: the gang buys a roller rink

S15E04: the gang replaces dee with a monkey

S15E05: the gang goes to ireland

S15E06: the gang’s still in ireland

S15E07: dee sinks in a bog

S15E08: the gang carries a corpse up a mountain

season 16

S16E01: the gang inflates

S16E02: frank shoots every member of the gang

S16E03: the gang gets cursed

S16E04: frank vs russia

S16E05: celebrity booze: the ultimate cash grab

S16E06: risk e. rat’s pizza and amusement center

S16E07: the gang goes bowling

S16E08: dennis takes a mental health day

[genthekick]

What your fav dbd character says about you (from a Yui main) - killer edition:

Before you start reading, please know this is only for entertainment purposes, I wasn’t serious when writing this … but also sorry not sorry ;)

1. The Blight - you’re a sweetheart, even though you terrify me

2. The Nurse - you’re either top tier or you absolutely suck, there’s no in between… how’s the motion sickness?

3. The Spirit - CONFUSION, you can barely find the survivors, so innocent that I want to protect you

4. The Artist - rage quitter, but we vibe

5. Executioner - you only appear once every three years on a full moon

6. The Hag - never stop trying, we feel you

7. The Huntress - two words: muscle mommy

8. The Oni - breathe, let go of your anger, it’s just a character

9. The Plague - you love pain… in a depressed way

10. The Twins - you love pain… in a kinky way

11. The Singularity - gender envy

12. Pinhead - you make The Twins players look vanilla

13. Leatherface - for the love of god, stop face camping

14. The Deathslinger - you wanna be a cowboy… baby

15. The Demogorgan - how do you feel now that no one else can see the beauty of this killer?

16. The Hillbilly - head empty, only the buzz of a chainsaw

17. The Nemesis - the zombies are your children and you WILL cry if you accidentally strike them

18. The Trickster - either queer or a kpop stan

19. The Clown - respectfully, stay away from me

20. The Doctor - disrespectfully, if I see you, I will file a restraining order

21. Ghost Face - half of you are adorable… the other half are incels

22. Legion - you do not need your own cult, but if you make one, can I join?

23. Freddy Kruger - you simply don’t exist

24. Sadako - how are you still here?

25. The Wraith - looks scary but is a cinnamon bun, yet you somehow enrage me

26. Albert Wesker - you just play him cause you think he’s hot

27. The Knight - overachiever ;)

28. Skull Merchant - literally on in a million, very nice

29. Michael Myers - Alexa, play Paparazzi by Lady Gaga

30. The Pig - I hope it’s easy for you to poop with all that squatting

31. The Trapper - you’re either still learning, and that’s okay, or you’re constantly enraged :/

[pseudolife-archived3]

get to the know the mun!

Daily Quote: "its when u poop in the shower and you gotta stomp it down the drain."

ALIAS / NAME: anarchy.

BIRTHDAY: 6/21

ZODIAC: fuck idk. cusp birthdate so it depends or something.

HEIGHT: 4'11

HOBBIES: writing. gaming. embroidery. i'm learning how to crochet atm. :3

FAV. COLOR: pink. blue. purple. green. brown. i don't really... have a favorite color. just color palettes that i like.

FAV. BOOK: inhales. rebecca by daphne du maurier. all time favorite book. if you like gothic romance shit, highkey recommend it. the first chapter can be a bit slow but oooh so good.

LAST SONG: so i have this thing where if you recommend a song/musician/band to me i'll listen to them. as long as its not ghost. and uhh. the last song i listened to was Криминал and honestly, its stuck in my head. thanks zirka.

LAST MOVIE / SHOW: uhh. the netflix series on the murdaugh case/s.

RECENT READ: i'm not really reading anything... new at the moment? kinda cruisin' and rereading old favorites. i'm extremely picky about books and writing styles now, its a pain in the ass for me to find something i enjoy from beginning to end.

INSPIRATION: it depends on the character, really. fujiko pulls from a lot of like, femme fatale character tropes except she's never the killer, she actually gets violently ill over the sight of blood. birdie is the 'final girl' in a lot of horror films but she's never the killer's victim, always his beloved. eoghan is every 'reincarnated goddess' media ever, but as a dude... a horny pirate dude. i don't know, i like to take stereotypical and often fan favorite tropes and fuck them up a little, taking common tropes and making them - different. i also like mundane character types - the guy that has nothing special about him at all. the girl who is average in every way. just people being people. surviving as they are. i guess, as cheesy as it sounds, a lot of my inspiration comes from my writing partners. because with every muse, i want to work with their writing, their characters. i want to make sure our writing compliments each other? sometimes i pull from other sources, sometimes something i read or see in a film/series/etc inspires me to make a character but mostly? i just like to make muses that work with other people's characters, in their worlds or in an au we build together. i want to be the person you can write with no matter the muse, mood, or setting, and thankfully, no one has complained about it yet lmao

STORY BEHIND URL: wheezes. i wanted to have gay matching urls with @pseudodead.

Tagged by: @lcvnderhazed Tagging: if you've read this, fucking do it. thanks.

[syrinq]

sy's Fun Reflective Post On Idk 90s Toys And Shit Or Whatever

glass deco

the shit you'd draw on some plastic, peel off and then put on a window. fucking awesome. 90s kid version of forbidden edible tidepod or whatever. the minus is that it'd eventually dry up and fall off and be utterly useless. I Wish I Could Have It Forever

-

2. the water ring things

especially if they had a little landscape like with idk dolphins and glitter. this shit was fucking lit. the gentle SWOOSH of the water and the rings going uppity and blah blah blah. awesome. fucking lit. a child's cocaine supply or something

-

3. wooden snake

whirling this around and getting your fingers stuck in it and it hurt a little but then you do it again because it feels funny. and also shaking it for the wooden snake noise. this hsit is aweosme

-

4. barbie/generic doll shoes

see video. seriously i don't even care about barbies i just wanted the shoes for that reason. (also reason i loved bugles besides eating them because they were like witch nails)

-

5. mega bloks dragon

PEEL THE EGG PLACENTA OFF AND MAKE YOUR NEW DRAGON!!!!!!! POSE HIM!!! FLAP HIS WINGS!!!!! FUCKING AWESOME

-

6. water dinosaurs

PUT AN EGG IN A GLASS OF WATER WAIT FOR 3 DAYS OR WHATEVER AND GET YOUR NEW STUPID WRINKLY SON THAT FEELS WET AND FUCKING WEIRD TO THE TOUCH! SO WEIRD THAT YOU DO THIS MULTIPLE TIMES & THEN TEAR OFF ITS LIMBS AND DUMP IT IN THE TRASH! COOL AND UTTERLY AWFUL!

-

7. the plastic puzzle shit that's really just a predecessor to lego

WHY WAS THIS ONLY FOR 4-6 YEAR OLDS. THIS SHIT WAS LIT. I MADE SO MANY TOWERS OF JUST CUBES IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME

-

8. rush hour

THE FEELING OF MOVING THE SILLAY LITTLE PLASTIC VEHICLES OVER THE BOARD AND GETTING IT OUT WAS SO AWESOME. YOU DON'T GET THIS ON A STUPID MOBILE APP WHATSOEVER.

-

9. play sand

COLOURFUL. MIXING COLOURS. THE FEELING OF SAND BUT IT DOESN'T GET STUCK TO YOUR STUPID ASS FINGERS! AWESOME

-

10. play dough

enjoying + hating the smell of these things at the same time. KNEADING FUN. MIXING COLOURS FUN BUT THEN IT RESULTS INTO POOP BROWN AND TODDLER-YOU IS KIND OF UPSET AS TO WHY IT'S POOP NOW

-

11. predecessor to tennis idk

the colours were nice. other than that these things kinda fucking sucked ass

-

12. marbles but they have a playground

fuck playing marbles with other kids during lunch like you're playing fucking billiards. THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT. ROLLERCOASTER FUN PLAYGROUND PARK ETC. FOR MARBLES. FUCKING AWESOME. FUCKING LIT. I LOVE THIS

-

13. the sketch thing

everything you draw on it looks horrible and if you draw enough there'll always be remnants of pen strokes. but it was cool.

-

14. stinky rubber bouncy balls

you bounce them around you accidentally hit your head with it and then you also scratch or possibly chew off parts of it because. i don't know. candy ball.

-

15. apparently called rubber poppers

annoying ass cunts

-

16. squishy water anything

bonus points if it has animals or wiggly things or whatever in it. awesome. fucking lit.

-

17. groan tube

also known as the kid's equivalent of an evil trumpet light saber weapon. why is it called a groan tube. that's the stupidest name i've ever heard of. anyway these things were awesome

-

18. those rubber things that you make things with

why is it called scoubidou and why did everyone make helicopters

-

19. the empty doll books that you could draw clothes on

very cool very swag. i sucked at it tho

-

20. apparently they're called jelly sandals???

utterly fucking AWFUL. a tool to not slip in swimming pools or just general shoe usage. DISGUSTING. poking in your skin 24/7. disgusting. awful texture. hate these.

-

21. anything webkinz but it's not webkinz

plush... online pet...... the best fucking wombo combo shit you could ever have as a kid. fucking awesome. and then all those virtual pet sites had to go die off or whatever and i'm still incredibly salty about that as an adult. look at that lamb..... my pathetic wet sad summer child i had when i was idk 7

-

22. magnetix

fucking killer things these. unless you drop a stick and it's lost forever and then it's Good Bye My Friend

alright i'm done my brain has lost thinking capacity on this topic goodbye

[annbourbon]

Disclaimer: First things first, because it needs to be said, I am not catholic or christian. But! I grew up in between both communities, and they made me study the bible, superficially, just to make their point.

My parents allowed me to grew up reading fairytales and stuff that would never ever be dreamed lol so things like witchcraft, paganism, hinduism, buddhism, among other things and luckily the schools I went didn't care about it enough because they gave money to them. Yeah, very much like gossip girl. You can really get away with a lot of things if you throw enough money. So:

1. This post, is not meant to be religious.

2. I study literature and art. I'm supposed to read this book as part of my studies. But because of my years at school were a complete torture, I decided to create these notes to have fun while I'm at it. Otherwise I don't think I'll be able to finish it.

3. This post doesn't pretend to attack on any kind of beliefs displayed here. I just want to rationalize it. I'm still a firm believer that if there's a god, that god loves us no matter what we do: And there's no hell.

Let's go through Genesis together...

Genesis 3:17 KJV - 17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

So basically God creates all. Makes them similar and then punishes them for doing something he would have done. But he knows it all. Suuure kiddo. 🙄

Genesis 4:15-17 KJV - .

16 And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.

Either his wife is Lilith or Eve. If it's Eve means he committed incest(?)

Also, why does the Lord forsakens Cain, Adam and Eve if he is supposed to forgive it all??? 😭

Genesis 5:7 KJV - And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:

They are freaking vampires 😱🤣

Genesis 5:26 KJV - And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:

pls stawwp 😭💀 the whole chapter brings nothing to the plot.

Genesis 6:7 KJV

And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.

Psycho killer God enters scene.. so far he was only narcissist 😳

Genesis 6:12 KJV - And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.

B-but we're supposed to be like youuuuu 😭🤣🤣 I think he hates himself way too much, we're not that bad. 👀

Genesis 6:14 KJV - Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

So much for being a favourite of the Lord lol he makes you work like there's no tomorrow.. oh wait~~ lol

Genesis 6:15 KJV - this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

ummm god.... shall i show you this youtube video i found where it's proven that this is impossible based on the physics you gave to this planet???

Genesis 6:16 KJV - A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it

They're gonna die of stinkinness because of everyone's poop 😭😭 so nooooo pleaaaasee. What have they done to you? Weren't they your favorite family and all that?... forgive me father for i have sinned but don't make me your favorite please(?)

Genesis 7:6 KJV - And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.

So he was really young uh? 💀

Genesis 7:8 KJV

Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,

wdym clean and not clean? take a shower before entering the Ark pls😭😭

Genesis 7:13 KJV

In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;

can't stop thinking about termites, woodpeckers, and poop 🙊😵

must be really stinky there 😬💩

Genesis 8:4 KJV

And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.

they could have just moved on to another place lol apparently the flood wasn't everywhere. 🥴😶

Genesis 8:5 KJV

And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.

The mountains must be like.... not that high.

Genesis 8:6 KJV

And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

😳 you're telling me he survived all that poop!?

Genesis 8:17 KJV

Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

This guy sounds like he's a vouyerist tbh 😶

(Genesis - First 4 chapters)

Narcissistic/Bipolar God: I created y'all. You're like me. Obbey me. Love me. I'm leaving this cookie here! ^♡^

>.> don't touch or eat it.

...you ate it!?!?

I hate y'all cuz you don't do what I say. Go away....

... Where are you going? What are you doing? 👀😭😭 don't leave me.

(Genesis - chapter 5 to 8)

Psycho Killer God: let's make a terrarium. let's kill them all by flooding everything.

(Genesis - Chapter 8)

Genesis 8:21 KJV

And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

Vouyerist God: Okay, now let me watch you while you have sex 😀🧐

*they start cooking and God smells smth*

What is that smell? There's pie!? is it for meeeee???

Genesis 9:1 KJV

And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

Vouyerist God: 'Kay I killed your kind, but chill dude! Now let me watch ya having sex 👀🍿

Genesis 9:3 KJV

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

God: You can kill too!! ^♡^

Genesis 9:4 KJV

But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

God: I don't like Hannibal 😒 Don't be like Hannibal!! Or I'll kill ya 😇

Genesis 9:5 KJV

And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.

Vampire God: Ohhh BTW I'm a vampire *reveals*

Noah: 😳

Genesis 9:29 KJV

And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

i~~ another vampire I see 😀

Genesis 10:15-17 KJV - And Canaan begat Sidon his firstborn, and Heth,

16 And the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgasite, 17 And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

Where do they get all these names? O.o The person narrating this one must have been obsessed with names ._.

I mean... I understand because I have lists with thousands of names because duhh i'm a writer too. But seriously??? Why do I need so many names when IDGF about them cuz next line they're already dead. Show me smth more interesting pls 😭😬

Genesis 10:25 KJV

And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother's name was Joktan.

Peleg 😳 is he the same one that likes sports?? idk if it was football soccer or basketball tho... 🤔🤔

Genesis 11:3 KJV

And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

Random thought but we should make a Musical/Slime Tutorial about The Babel Tower

Babel Slime Tutorial~~ ^♡^

Genesis 11:6 KJV

And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

Genesis 11:7-9 KJV - Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.

8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

He wants us to reach to him. To call. To go with him. To be with him. But as soon as one wants that as well he changes his mind. And then he questions us whyyyyy we're forgetting about him...

ummm what is it called~?

Well, whatever... he's sick. 😶🥴

Needs a psychiatrist.

I still need to finish this but... so far those are my notes... please don't hate me 😅

[servicetopglinda]

Things I know about dune:

1. There is warms

2. There is spice

3. The box contains pain

4. There are pugs (david lynch thank you)

5. Fear is the mind killer

6. Lady Jessica is serving cunt

7. The worms poop the spice

And that’s it babey!!!!!!

[deliriousgame]

Berlin really played 6 games with the words "poop killer" in the title before playing dangan v3 huh

[ilovedilfs228007]

OH I KNOW

A biiiiiiig post about all the books i have, because I like talking about books.

1. Comics. 2 about doctor Strange, 1 about loki and 1 about tony stark. Those about dr strange were a gift from a friend. Im afraid to ask how much did they cost.

2. Tomas Harris' Red dragon, The silence of the lambs, and Hannibal. There should be 3 books but i started to reread the third one. I liked them all so fucking much i recommend them to everyone i know. It was very hard to find them all in my native language and the first two are second hand but hey. At least they look fine on the shelf.

3. The picture of Dorian Gray. Basil Hallward deserved better. Loved it a lot but was a bit boring from times to times. Live laugh gay men.

4. Just after sunset by Stephen King. A lot of different short stories, some of them are scary, some of them are not, but i liked the one about the Akkerman field and the things they left behind

5. The shining by Stephen King. Sometimes boring but only sometimes. And please, stop describing the carpet, we understood that it is blue, okay? And i wanted to know more about Roger the Dog Man. A sad story about gay man.

6. The Witcher. The first book. I can't say that i liked it very much. Some stories are okay but ehhh... I just don't think i like fantasy.

7. The Good Samaritan by John Marrs. Eeehhhh... Well, depressing, sometimes boring. Didn't like it.

8. The Master and Margarita. I. Love. Fagotto. And. Behemoth. I want you to know, that in russian Fagotto's name is Fagót. Lol. I love him so much it hurts. He is such a gentleman and, in my opinion, has a lot of in common with supernatural gabriel. I laughed a lot when i read this. Also boring sometimes but it's alright. And i named this motherfucker ↓ Behemoth, sooo.. yk. I like it, like, a lot

9. Taras Bulba. Well, i needed to read this, can't say that i liked it very much. Not that bad actually. I just ehhh feel sorry for Andriy. He is... Well... I don't think i understand the concept of the patriotism. So yeah. And lol little silly man

And the book's cover is magnificent. Just look at it

10. The foxhole court. Didn't like at all. Don't want to read the two other books, sorry.

11. Books about medicine. Have finished none of them. The white one was a secret from parents because say the words "sexual differentiation" and my dad's in coma. It was quite interesting tbh. The green one is about forensic medicine. Interesting but not so much. The grey one was a huge mistake because its name was translated as "the neurosurgeon's prayer" and i thought it was about the neurosurgery. No. It's about praying with your patients. 🥲

12. Books i haven't read because they are not interesting or that are not mine.

13. Call me by your name. Haven't read yet. Im going to ignore the existence of the poop scene.

14. The Divine Comedy. Haven't finished. Too boring and i have abusive relationships with long poems.

15. The Surgeon by Tess Garritsen. BOOORIIING. And i know who is the killer from the very beginning. In my opinion it's a problem. Have read for the sexy Saint Tomas but uh. I have seen that the other books from this library are about the woman detective. She is way better than Jeanne from the previous post. But still BOOOORIIING. Maybe will finish it one day.

16. A collection of fairy tales, plays, poems and short stories by Oscar Wilde. Including the picture of Dorian Gray and De Profundis. Haven't read all of it, just some poems and have started De Profundis but haven't finished. I felt like it's a talk show and they are arguing in front of everyone. Well, not they, just oscar saying that his boyfriend is an abusive bitch.

Im a bookworm as u can see. Well, sort of.

And the big black book on the right is the Resurrectionist the lost work of dr Spencer Black. Bought it because of the pictures.