#pondering the future and all

[stil-lindigo]

esprit de corps

[ there's still space left in your shadow. most of us will die in it.]

prints (all proceeds go towards purchasing e-sims and donating to Care For Gaza)

[crowpocrypha]

Gloomy nighttime Mina rant? You guessed it. I know these aren't really what people come to this blog for but: I drop them anyway.

I'll repost on sidenotes since that blog is intended for this kind of stuff.

I love to create. I've been mulling over a lot of my content push as of late because: I'm now seeing there's an audience interested in it—but I feel like I'm stuck in a rut without a place to go.

I still feel incredibly insecure about my art, writing, and even my poetry— despite the validation I get from people in my day to day life.

I write poetry to vent and stimulate, and while I can call myself a "Poet" on my resumé: I don't want to be a "poet".

As some of you may know, I'm writing a novel titled Onyx Feathers on Snow—and I use some of the sets from my OFOS universe in Crowley in Arkham—and characters and themes.

I never really wanted to dedicate as much time as I do to CIA: I always had the intention of using it to get comfortable writing dialogue exchange— but eventually it felt more like "Get it out. Quantity over quality."

Which is why there was a tonal shift back in October: so that I could bring back some semblance of "quality" to it.

Ironically, the way I write Jon? I absolutely despise— but I felt like he couldn't feel too much like a character that already existed in the universe I have: Luciel Bright. My criminologist/detective in my wip "Lady In White" the work that bore my first short-story back in 2019.

I'll probably end up reworking CIA to be more appealing to me: I was writing it during a horrible episode while I was overseas, and though I no longer have the time I had before, I still adore that someone reads CIA and people enjoy something I made.

I got overzealous when I realized I could have a following that is less interested in me and more interested in what I make.

Though this blog is mostly people interested in my shitposts and my Scarecrow simpage— I do like to know I don't have people following me because of something superficial.

It's just not for me.

I like that I can say something I think and have both validation and criticism.

I know that my followings absolutely do not overlap: and while I find that difficult to juggle— I can understand why.

The people who read my books aren't going to be interested in my livestreaming, and those that are—come join! I talk about my manuscripts all the time and you can hang out as I rant about my trial-and-error process and some of my concerns with major plot points or pondering the potential interpretations of my narrative.

Sometimes, I join the Jetwaves and we read standardized reading and give commentary on them.

I guess I did start this post regarding my insecurity on my internet persona, and whether or not I'll have to abandon it.

I don't want to— and I don't see myself doing that— but, you'll have to get used to these long bouts of be not posting much or— not much of interest.

I just have very little time; now that I've returned to my normal responsibilities and a full-time job.

I have to cut my work hours again for school— and while I love a lot of my daily job-- I'm woefully underpaid and my management is just disrespectful. (Quietly voicing my qualms with my corporate overlord—thank god nobody that works with me follows me)

I just have very little time to put towards what I want to do— that's to dedicate to my goal and– I hate to sound ignorantly romantic:

My dreams.

All I want out of life is to write a good book and be a decent author—but sometimes I think I'm not as passionate about writing as I should be.

I have no drive to write.

Sometimes, someone reminds me of the world I see in my mind’s eye and the sensations I feel walking through it. The look of the mountains looming overhead, the smell in the wind, the taste of the air, the feeling of the ground below, the bustling sound of the towns— I am taken with inspiration at the crunch of snow underfoot.

It's only then, when I'm forced to remember— that I want to write.

When someone is delighted by something I've written—or even cared to read it at all.

I want to write.

Yet, my father, who I trust much and appreciate now that I have him in my life: treats my dreams as he treated them before he read "Man of Glass"—like they were impossible and unrealistic.

I had to get published before my father realized it was a viable option for me.

I believe that to be my biggest qualm with him.

Sorry for going on for so long about this: I'll head to bed now. Thanks for reading, anyway.

[ineed-to-sleep]

Fuck it we ball. At least my rook is hot

[brown-little-robin]

just had an extraordinarily vivid dream that my family (with the exception of me) decided to go to Japan for the summer/fall with their closest friends, and they left me alone in charge of our empty house without even asking if I wanted to go too, and

[shibaincubus]

Me with myself I(=•ェ•=)m

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅->༘⋆🌷🫧💭₊˚ෆ->🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐->⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆->🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

-> I love cultivating my inner garden

-> Me vs. Me vs. Me vs. Me

-> I'm on my knees for myself ya

-> Enemies to lovers but with myself

-> I love myself ♥︎

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍵 ⋅->༘⋆🌷🫧💭₊˚ෆ->🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐->⋆｡‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧｡⋆->🪼⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

[thefirstknife]

The Veil and the history of the universe

I've been thinking about some connections between certain very specific concepts for a while now and mostly about how they relate to what we know about the Veil. It started with wondering about the reason for Lightfall's Collector's Edition books to bring back the concept of the OXA Machine and give us extra knowledge about it.

From there, it spiralled into more similar concepts that connect other prediction technologies, the Vex, the Darkness and most importantly how Maya Sundaresh seems to be involved with all of them. There's a lot of little details in a lot of different places about this (as well as from different times of Destiny, including one very interesting one from vanilla D1).

It's not really a theory or an attempt to solve everything, but more like an interesting dive into some possible overall connections between concepts that tend to repeat, most of which are tied to the new discoveries about the Darkness; how it's connected to the psychic aspects like memory, fear, pain and so on.

Contents:

The OXA Machine and the Psions

Inspiral raid lore book

The Device of the Future War Cult and Maya Sundaresh

The Veil

Since my line of thinking started with OXA, I will also start with the OXA here.

The OXA

What is the OXA Machine? Originally mentioned in the Collector's Edition booklet for Destiny 2 which is about Calus recounting his conquests and all of the actors that betrayed him in the Midnight Coup, the OXA is a "clairvoyant Psion machine." It's assumed the Psions made it and it was destroyed when the Psions were conquered by the Uluran. However, years later, a Psion scientist called Otzot rebuilt it and this time, Calus ordered for it to be captured and used. He also freed Otzot so she was known as "Freeborn Otzot." She joined the coup against him because he wanted to free all Psions and she feared that would ruin her unique position as the only free Psion.

It was also mentioned by the Psion Match, who wrote the entries in the lore book Confessions. Match was a councilor to Calus during his exile and wrote many entries on Calus' descent into what we know him as. Match writes the following (and gives it a possibility that the Psions simply inherited this machine and didn't make it originally):

Now I think of the OXA Machine, eternally lost and eternally rebuilt, passed down from civilization to civilization like a ship's black box.

This was a fairly vague concept, but we can easily figure out what this thing was: it's a machine used for storing information and prediction, much like any other in the Destiny universe. It wasn't used much as anything other than background flavour and you may know it from the strike Insight Terminus which mentions the OXA and Otzot in the dialogue at the end of the strike. We'll get to that a bit later.

For some reason, OXA was returned with extra details in Lightfall's Collector's Edition. It massively expands what the OXA is and gives the full description of what the acronym means. Page 13 in this transcript (chapter named "I am thirty-five years old" in Caiatl's book):

"The Odyle Xenotaph Anarchive. Sometimes OXTA, depending on how you construct the acronym. The alien oracle that led us to the graves of Aark." Must be wary, now. OXA is a Psion myth, and the Psions are a sensitive topic. My father wants to free them from bondage. "It claimed to record the story of the galaxy, and to prophesize what may yet come."

"A black box for galactic civilizations, if you prefer it in pilor's terms.” The Evocate-General nods to the pin on my right pauldron. I am conscious of my shaved-down tusks, of the sores left by the fighter's interface. "The doomed and the damned left the record of their downfall in the OXA."

The full name - Odyle Xenotaph Anarchive - isn't random gibberish. The odyle is a reference to the Odic force. This force (od, odyl or odyle) was thought to be responsible for some natural phenomena like magnetism, hypnotism, electricity or light. It was primarily tied to the human nervous system and relied on people's natural psychic sensitivity to perceive it or feel it. In this context it's most likely being used to represent some form of mental/psychic way of being influenced by or using this machine. In order to access it, one must have psychic abilities to access the source of this primordial source, like the Psions, who made (?) and remade it.

A xenotaph is most likely a play on the word cenotaph; a cenotaph is a symbolic grave built for someone or multiple people when there are no actual remains to bury. Literally, it's an "empty tomb." Here, the term swapped to "xeno" to indicate "alien." A xenotaph most likely means that it's a tomb of alien cultures which is also explained in the full definition given to Caiatl: it is literally a recording of dead alien civilisations. Similarly to a cenotaph, it's also technically an empty tomb; it's not direct remains of these civilisations, just a record of them.

An anarchive is a really tough concept to explain, but basically where the archive is simply a collection of information, an anarchive is the process of engaging, analysing and changing of the archival information for new and future purposes. This is possibly where the predictive aspect of the OXA comes in; the OXA holds information of the past civilisations, requires a powerful psychic to access and allows them to engage with this archive and come out with new information about the future, "prophesising what may yet come."

So in conclusion, the OXA is a psychic link to the history of the universe which allows those with special abilities to not only access this information, but also engage with it and learn of possible future events.

Why add this information for Lightfall? The OXA has always been more of a curiosity of an alien culture, not some sort of a major plot point. But when they take a past curiosity and add new information to it, much like with Nezarec, it may signify some sort of importance in the future.

As I mentioned earlier, pretty much the only time OXA was mentioned directly in game was in Insight Terminus strike. The Vex had information about the OXA and the Psion Kargen was trying to access it through the Vex. Two different lines at the end of the strike mentioning OXA:

Hmm, there’s only one data artifact here, labelled “OXA,” and it’s seriously corrupted. Metadata says it was last accessed by an “Otzot” centuries ago.

And:

There’s an almost unreadable data artifact here, labelled “OXA.” It’s heavily corrupted, but I’m able to make out “MSund12” from the access log.

The Vex records show that the OXA was last accessed by Otzot, but that it was also accessed by MSund12. This is Maya Sundaresh. So in one go we have a link between the Vex, the Psions and Maya Sundaresh who was a Golden Age scientist. They were all aware of and able to access the OXA.

There's one more Psion that mentions the OXA, in the Sisters weblore which is from Season of Dawn and relates to the Psion sisters that hijacked Osiris' Sundial. When they discovered the Sundial and inspected it, they were happy to find a machine that allowed to manipulate time and offer predictions. One of the sisters, Tazaroc, compared the Sundial to the OXA, but noted that the Sundial was better:

“It is so clear,” said Niruul, reverent. “An unobstructed glimpse into what was and what will be.”

“Not the troubled ramblings of a mad thing, like the OXA,” said Tazaroc.

Tazaroc considers the OXA to be "a mad thing" and that it only offered "troubled ramblings." The Sundial is far superior in its design somehow, but it's important to ask the following: do the Sundial and the OXA tap into the same (or at least similar) source? Are there other similarities between the two besides just the ability to look through time?

What should we take from this section? There is a great repository of knowledge and information about the history of the universe and the species that inhabited it which is stored and documented somewhere and it is possible to access and interact with it. The OXA is one example of this as presented through Psions and how they utilised it.

Inspiral

The lore book for Root of Nightmares raid is a curious one. The whole concept is that each entry in this book (10 total) is a record of the past that left an imprint of itself... somewhere. Each entry begins with a description of who left this information and how.

The first entry is immediately relevant here. It starts with a description of the recording:

It most definitely fits the feel of there being some sort of "black box for galactic civilisations" where data fragments are left to "mark their passing." This first entry is about the Ecumene, an alien conglomerate of species that united together to form the Ecumene itself. They are also extensively documented in the Books of Sorrow, as the Hive have came across them and wiped them out.

In this lore tab, we learn a little bit more about them. Their space was called the Habitable World and it consisted of a lot of different species joined together in the Ecumene through the power of the Deep. Aka the Darkness. This is interesting because we'd always think that any species alligned with the Darkness would be evil, like the Hive. Hell, the Hive themselves wiped out the Ecumene, despite essentially being tied to the same force. But obviously, now we know that the Darkness is not a uniformed force. It too has factions and different types of use.

The Ecumene were specialised in using the psychic aspect of the Darkness. The first entry, The Habitable World reads (still not on Ishtar and I will omit the big screenshots and just paste the text):

Meanwhile our Habitable World always grew. We offered the Fathomless Deep to any who wished to learn of our synergy, and it glossed the way to become more than we were.

And:

A new client-species drank of the Deep and understood the World as we tasted it.

And:

In the Deep may we be kept.

The third entry in the raid lore book, The Art of Symbiosis, is similarly interesting. It's a memory of the alien species called Qugu, also attacked and wiped out by the Hive. The title of the chapter refers to what we know of the Qugu from the Books of Sorrow; they are a species bound in symbiosis with another life form that they need to live. It begins with:

The Qugu were able to enter some form of altered state of consciousness known as "night-trances" to access past memories. This is noted by them to be an ability related to the Darkness.

I still hear from our parents, from our great-parents, distantly in my night-trances. And there are those nectar-made moments -- you know the ones, when you turn your thoughts to the Darkness and just listen, and the long sum of Qugu history graven there reflects dark-comforting advice.

And:

I have lived out my life with the tenebrous warmth of our ancestors over me like a (cloak/atmosphere?) between us and nothingness.

And:

I miss you. Funny, isn't it? How can you miss someone when you know they're always in the Dark? I close my eyes, and in the warm nest-hide of sleep, I know you are real and happy and out there on some other part of the world, far from the river, far from the [untranslatable] where our ancestors (dream/exist) together.

Both of these species had a connection with Darkness that was built exclusively on the aspect of the mental which is the domain of Darkness. As explained by Osiris in Lightfall, the Light is the domain of the physical, while the Darkness is the domain of the psychic, the mental. Darkness controls fear and pain and thought and memory. These species utilised their knowledge of the Darkness to form entire civilisations where these powers are crucial aspects of their lives.

The lore book details other characters and species that left their data fragments in what appears to be the memory of the universe. While some may have left their data fragments on purpose (like the Ecumene and the Qugu who mastered this Darkness ability), it's unclear if leaving a trace of your existence and your memories is voluntary.

For example, entry four, The Dark Below, is from Eris and entry seven, Irae, is from Mara who are both skilled in Darkness but it's not entirely clear why they would leave the few specific thoughts they had as data fragments on purpose; both entries are personal instead of representing their species. Entry five, The Brass Gardeners, is from the Vex who don't understand paracausality so it's unclear how they would leave the data fragment on their own. Entry six, Dark Glass, is from a Ghost recounting his close encounter with Darkness; again, this is a personal story, not a representation of Ghosts. However, consider that the Qugu entry is also a personal tale, it just happens to tell us more about the Qugu as a species as a byproduct.

Speaking of entries five and six, they're somewhat connected. Entry five, from the Vex, is heavily related to the Black Heart. Entry six is from a Ghost called Piri which we know from the context clues in the text. Piri is the Ghost of Lisbon-13, the only surviving member of the fireteam called Kentarch-3 who explored the Black Garden.

What do we have now with all this combined? Much like the OXA, we have information about how the Darkness is a repository of memory and history, how different species used it as a civilisational tool for collecting and sharing thoughts through psychic means. Even the Vex have somehow tapped into this, despite not being able to understand paracausality, though we do know that they tried, and they tried especially with the Black Heart which is a product of their attempts to recreate the Veil.

The Device of the Future War Cult and Maya Sundaresh

The Future War Cult was established in the Golden Age by Maya Sundaresh. Maya and her team experimented with a device, creatively named the Device, which was built on Vex technology.

We built the device in mimicry of the Vex gateway systems from Ishtar. An observatory, yes, but I think of it as a mind-ship. Capable of displacing its payload across space and time.

They experimented with it by letting different test subjects connect to it and observe what they see. Connecting with the Device had a lot of negative effects on people. A lot of them went mad with exposure, some died following exposure (note that going mad is a common thread with the OXA as well). Maya and her team eventually stoped their work with the Device, but the Device survived and was used again for tests by the contemporary Future War Cult during the City Age.

They acquired new test subjects and began letting them enter the Device to use it in order to experiment with the predictive Vex technology it was built on. It was crucial to the FWC and even their new leader, Lakshmi-2 was frequently using it. This is the source of their core belief that war is always coming and that they must always prepare for it.

This is interesting to us here because it's fairly similar to the OXA and what we've discussed so far. The OXA and the Device and even the Sundial to an extent are all predictive technologies tapping into some form of a source where the vast knowledge of the universe's history and future is held. It relies on a psychic connection to establish a link and to see through time. A lot of this is also built on Vex technology or ties in with the Vex in some form.

A very interesting bit here is the logs that the Future War Cult made from the experiments held in contemporary time, during the City Age. One of the test subjects exposed to the Device spent thirty minutes inside of the Device experiencing various visions and other sensations. Full log of her experience:

At 11:03 she reported a sensation of floating. At 11:06, a sensation of lights within the darkness of the Device. Between 11:06 and 11:32 she reported these lights variously as white, golden, and blood-red. At 11:32 she reported a sensation of someone taking her hand; a stranger, but also herself. Twelve subjects have reported similar experiences. At 11:33 she reported the sensation we have called "The Opening Of The Veil." The Device recorded temporal displacement of her consciousness to the order of six degrees. At seven she began screaming. Brainscans near-death. Removed from the Device at 11:34.

That's quite the line, isn't it? The Future War Cult logged a sensation that was presumably common enough among participants that it was given a name.

The Opening Of The Veil

Now, first, super important to note: this grimoire entry is literally from the beginning of the game. It's from vanilla D1. The game has gone under numerous changes for its plot and story. I feel like that's something that has to be said before jumping to conclusions. It could be a coincidence, something that feels more meaningful than it is.

However. Current writing can easily go back to what has been released, pick something and use it in the future, creating an apparent connection. This is such an evocative phrase right now, with current context, because...

The Veil

... has been described as a "physical manifestation of incomprehensible cosmic energy. Window into the mind and memory of the universe."

We consistently have this idea that there IS a memory of the universe's history and that records of it can be written and accessed through powerful psychic powers and mental links. The OXA records it, Inspiral records it. The Vex are a common theme of prediction engines and attempts at understanding this energy that permeates the universe. People peering into things like the OXA or the Device routinely get exposed to vast incomprehensible information about the past and the future, almost like they're accessing some common source where this information is stored.

While the concept of the odyle is not a real scientific thing, it might be a thing symbolically in the Destiny universe; a source of incomprehensible cosmic energy that functions on the basis of psychic connection. The Veil might be that odyle; a source from which the OXA and the Device and possibly the Vex (who have sought the Veil out in the form of the Black Heart) pull their information from.

The Veil might also be something akin to the OXA; like the OXA, the Veil is perhaps a similar device made by some civilisation somewhere to tap into this cosmic energy which is capable of connecting consciousness and allowing access to history and memory. This might be closer to the truth given the raid lore where Nezarec explains to us that the Veil is "the sapid secret of its [The Witness'] first victims." Whoever they are, perhaps they had the Veil and used it in the same way the Psions used the OXA; to access the memory of the universe and learn more about the past, but also about the future as well.

The sensation that FWC called "The Opening Of The Veil" might be describing that moment when someone successfully accesses this source, this odyle, where they can experience this memory and see how the history can potentially evolve into future events.

It's also interesting that Maya Sundaresh seems to be quite involved in pretty much every aspect of this. She started with Vex research on Venus. She and her team ended up becoming Vex simulations and her Vex research led her to the creation of the Device. She was also known to have accessed the OXA. Maya eventually curiously ended up founding Neomuna, a place where the Veil is kept and used to build the CloudArk, another exploration of linking minds and consciousness in a quite similar way to how it was described by the Ecumene and the Qugu.

The timeline here is unclear, as ever. Maya followed her creation, Soteria, to Neptune. At the same time, the Veil somehow ended there as well. We know that the Veil was stored in Nezarec's ship until Savathun stole it from him and hid it on Neptune. Did she hide it prior to Soteria's and ultimately Maya's arrival? Or did it get there because Maya was already on Neptune and Savathun deliberately left it in her care? Did Maya follow the Veil or did the Veil follow Maya, given her possible previous experience in touching it by heavy exposure to the Vex Network, simulations, the OXA and the Device through which she has touched the source of the memory of the universe?

Even if there's no connection between most of these, there's still a common thread of how Darkness governs consciousness, thoughts, memory and all other mental states of being. It's not just a way to see these things, but also a way to transfer them, merge them and interact with them in other ways. And this is also apparent through strand:

As I understand it now, it is the elemental manifestation of psychic connection. All minds are connected in a web of consciousness, which we can now see and feel. To wield Strand is to pull on the hidden connecting threads, and to use them to create, manipulate, and unravel.

Strand, being a manifestation of the Veil, further strengthens this idea that the Veil either is the source of this web (the odyle, the force responsible for these phenomena) or is capable of tapping into it in a very powerful way. Strand was also familiar to the Neomuna founders who understood that the Veil emits a "paracausal byproduct."

One way or the other, there's an underlying thread about the Darkness and how it relates to memory, history and consciousness and how different civilisations have been using this power for billions of years in different ways. There's definitely a point somewhere in this whole pile of information about the Veil's origin and purpose in its abilities to link minds through psychic connection and how all of that connects to other attempts at the same thing; to see the past, to see the future, to transfer minds through time and space.

And ultimately, possibly, why the Witness needed the Veil in particular to create a portal; the Light of our Ghost to transfer its physical form and the Darkness of the Veil to transfer its consciousness. Out of all of these different machines and devices, only the Veil is flawless in its execution when it comes to consciousness and psychic powers.

A problem to think about further: if this is on the right track, why would the Vex want the Veil, why did they want to replicate it (did they have it before? Maybe they're the first victims?) and what would it do for them outside of possibly being the source of predictive technology which is a very tentative link?

Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading and that it makes some sense. As usual, if it activates brainworms and gives you ideas, feel free to comment, suggest, correct or add anything!

[oathkeeper-of-tarth]

Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

[truethes]

so, um, does this mean that everyone who fancies someone from fontaine is a monster fucker ...

[bg3smash-or-pass]

Just a warning, I am feeling a bit out of steam, so this blog will probably hold off on posts for a few days as I get stuff organized. Submissions will still be posted/queued right away!

[kateis-cakeis]

Sometimes I like to think about the possibility of Arthur and Mordred having a sort of temporary immortality, as in nothing could kill them until they killed each other

That was how the Triple Goddess decreed it after all. Only the Disir could have changed it, only they could have killed Mordred to save Arthur.

And if you think about it, all that Arthur is saved from, all that Mordred escapes, I do believe in the webs of fate that they couldn't die. There was a path they had to complete, too bound to die in any other way.

Before they were born they had a set death. It's right there in the writings of the Catha, hundreds of years beforehand.

So it only makes sense that they could not die until that day came.

[pandora15]

Angstpril 2023 Day 1 Prompt: Liar

tw: character having trouble breathing, open ending

Obi-Wan knew, from the moment that he agreed to take on this mission, that it would be difficult.

Faking his death, having to pretend to be someone he wasn't for the sake of his own survival, having to interact with the likes of Cad Bane and Count Dooku himself without getting his cover blown…

Well, he knew from the beginning that it would not be easy.

But none of that was as difficult as it was to return.

The transformation from Rako Hardeen back to his own body was uncomfortable — painful, leaving him shaky and somewhat feverish. The vocal emulator wreaked damage to his vocal chords, and Master Che had confirmed that there was likely some infection in his throat that she'd like to monitor over the coming days.

Which obviously meant that he was stuck in the Halls for now. It wasn't ideal, but considering the fact that he couldn't keep down most foods because of his throat and his entire body ached any time he tried to move at all, he supposed it made sense.

Obi-Wan didn't exactly like it, but even that wasn't the worst part.

Anakin wouldn't speak to him. On the ship when they were returning from Naboo, he'd maintained his distance, and once Obi-Wan had gotten his commlink back, he'd sent Anakin messages frequently, only to receive nothing.

Obi-Wan knew that the deception had upset Anakin. He understood why — more than most, he understood.

But he had hoped that Anakin would also understand why he did it.

"You lied to us," Anakin had said, when Obi-Wan had approached him on the ship. "What else have you lied to me about? Do you even care about any of us?"

Obi-Wan had no response to that — how could he, when he knew that Anakin was right? He did lie to them, after all.

And now he was here, alone, because he did what he knew to be right. Anakin wouldn't speak to him, Ahsoka wouldn't speak to him, Cody wouldn't speak to him, the Council wouldn't speak to him.

He'd succeeded on his mission, and yet —

He'd failed them all.

Letting out a sigh, Obi-Wan placed his commlink back on the table next to the bed. He winced as his throat spasmed at the rush of air, and then he coughed, bending forward slightly to gasp for air.

That seemed to trigger a chain reaction of sorts. The more he gasped for air, the more it irritated his throat, causing him to gasp even more. And the air wasn't even traveling down his throat properly, which meant that —

He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't breathe.

The room seemed to tilt on its axis around him as he shuddered and gasped and placed his forehead on his knees. There was a ringing noise, muffled by the blood rushing in his ears, followed by the sound of footsteps. Voices surrounded him, but he couldn't make them out, not until —

"Obi-Wan?" A hand on his shoulder, pushing him back until he was lying back again, head arching backward in a desperate reach for air. He couldn't speak, couldn't breathe, couldn't —

"Okay, okay, just hold on." The voice was gentle, soothing. "Your throat has swollen up too much. You're not getting enough air."

There were hands holding him down, the hiss of a hypospray, followed by the feeling of everything getting floaty and blurry, until…

His eyes snapped shut, and the memory of his lies that constantly plagued him faded away.

[fayesdiary]

Came to the realization that Robin is everything Grima wishes they were and I'm gonna spend an indefinite amount of time obsessing over it

[longagoitwastuesday]

ngl it sort of pisses me off the way adults regard Gojo in Jujutsu Kaisen at times. Which could be a very interesting and poignant point in a good way if well written, but as it is it becomes mainly just frustrating and sad in a negative way.

Nanami saying Gojo never cared about anything or anyone other than himself crashes interestingly with Kusakabe saying the whole situation was just all his fault because he refused to kill Itadori. The students are very aware of those aspects of Gojo's personality, but overall they seem to regard him with way more kindness and fondness even when at their rudest, not truly coinciding with either Nanami's or Kusakabe's views.

[birchbow]

*approaches like a starving victorian orphan* pls may we have have an excerpt 🥺

I've been working on original novel stuff and Winter Soldier inspired pale Gamkar stuff for a hot second, so there's not a ton of new PoF to excerpt at the moment, but u know I can never say no to interest in my fics haha :D

--

The door opens again, and it’s not a quadrant of yours this time.  A sister with a crest of hair bright mutant red between her horns and more scarves than clothes comes in like she’s got a suspicion she’s being followed, and closes the door sharp again behind her.  Looks real familiar—for a second, you can’t quite place her.

And then you recognize, and are taken immediate by both anger and delight.  Aggravation at the motherfucking presumption, to come to you after you closed court—simultaneous, the anticipating joy of a building joke well set up to add to.  You’ll play to the joke, but not at expense of your authority.  This little motherfucker better learn quicker than you suspect she will, or she’ll have quite the lesson coming.

Karkat turns back to look at her with an expression far from inviting, folds his arms in all his shiny imperial armor and glares at her.  She pays him attention enough to look and then nod, and then crosses the Big Top, bows at you and then bounces up a careless touch sooner than she should.

She says, “I got your message, my lord.”

You consider her, and whether you sent any kind of message, and are quickly and assuredly positive that no such motherfucking thing did you do.  Karkat looks from you to her and back and seems to determine that exact thing, from what tell of yours you don’t know—his eyebrows go up, and then down, and then crease in the middle.

“We’re in the middle of imperial business,” he says, strict and snapping like he must be with his recruits.  “And court’s closed.  Do your auditory sponges not fucking work?  Is your thinkpan damaged?!  Or do you just think you’re too good to listen to a direct order from the Grand Highblood?”

“I was invited,” says Ardeen, and looks, expectant, to you.

--

(And one or two brief snippets of things still dubiously canon and half-written:)

-

It’s pan-rot stupid of you, maybe—you know he won’t go easy on you, tough old hatchet of a motherfucker, with all he knows and feels and has done—but on All Colors Week, the rules lay out that you can get up in a holy champion’s personal business and challenge that motherfucker for a flag.  Not to grief them, you’ve got your ass whipped enough times by now to know you’re not ready for that yet—but if you manage to impress in their chosen challenge, that flag in royal purple is theirs to grant and give over, and you’ll be honored like a motherfucking champion yourself the rest of the holiday.

He won’t go easy on you, because he doesn’t go easy on any motherfucking one, but in scripture—in scripture if nothing else, you think you’ve found ground you can hold.

“Feeder Stædfast,” you say, and he lifts a brow at the manners you’re aiming at him, turning full to face you and snapping shut his book.  “I think you got something there you might hand me over.”

Both brows up this time, double surprised.  “Oh," he says, "Is that so?”

-

“Nitram,” snarls Kurloz, and then he moves like a lightning bolt and tries to take your friend’s head off his shoulders.

-

Karkat looks at Sollux, then at you, then opens his mouth, and then clamps it shut again and does what appears to be some kind of painful breathing routine, like he’s physically compressing his rage down into something manageable.  When he opens his eyes, his voice is very nearly calm.

“Okay,” he says.  “Fuck.  This is going to take some cleaning up.  Shit.  We can salvage this.”

[dirt-str1der]

Yaoi has poisoned all of your fucking brains !!