#but the concept of kiryu just being in her house and living with her is making me laugh like wow ... hes straight now.... like obviously hes

[ani-not]

Vampire Knight, or AKA how to piss off half or most of your fanbase

Warning: Gore, LOTS OF Incest, weird subtext, Suicide mentions, Stupidity, Lots of terrible anime cliches, 

Rating: 2 /10

Episodes: 26 Episodes (2 seasons)

Dub or Sub: Does it really matter tho Vic Mignona as Zero really does make it at least somewhat bearable even if he’s a piece of shit.

Opening and Ending Themes: S1 Opening: 2/10. Bland.  S1 Ending: 6/10. The S1 ending definitely captures the tone of what the series is going for. S2 Opening: 4/10. Better than the S1 opening, closer to the aesthetic but still kinda eh. S2 Ending: 5/10. It’s alright. It fits into the context but it’s reaching. 

Pacing; SLOOOOOOOOOW. slow as fuck like I literally die because it’s so slow help me I can’t believe there’s 26 episodes of this I feel like I could watch like 100 episodes of Inuyasha in the spans of 1 episode of VK. 

Concept: Yuki goes to a school that’s got humans and vampires, which doesn’t make any sense because the thing about vampires is that they’re the same age forever why the fuck would they need to go to school america explain!! but she’s one of the only people who knows there’s vampires because she’s “the headmaster’s daughter” and has gotta protect the stupid humans and also a love triangle that ends stupidly. This is your basic bitch of vampire teen romance that was popular at the exact time teen vampires were popular and then ended extremely grossly. 

-----Spoilers Below You’ve been warned---------

First of all. 

Let’s introduce our main 3 characters. 

Yuki Cross Kuran: An amnesiac idiot. Classic dopey Helpless Damsel. She was trained how to fight against vampires and she does all these cool jumps and stuff but every single time she’s in trouble, she needs to get rescued. She looks EXACTLY like the Vampire Class President Kaname, but no one brings it up ever. I don’t hate her, but she does get annoying at points. Apparently, when she 5 years old, she was wandering around alone with no memories, was almost attacked by a vampire and then was rescued by TEENAGE Kaname, and she’s looked up to and liked him ever since. She does have that ‘I believe there can be good in anyone’ charisma that I’ve liked in other characters, but it’s done very poorly here. She wants to bond and become closer to Zero and knows that his family was murdered, but doesn’t understand that boundaries are a thing and need to be respected especially with someone who was traumatized like Zero. She’s actually a pure blood vampire and Kaname’s younger BLOOD RELATED sister who ‘was born to be Kaname’s wife.’ Her mother died in the process of sealing yuki’s powers and memories away to make her human for awhile. 

Zero Kiryu: THE ONLY RESPECTABLE CHARACTER. IN THIS HOUSE WE ONLY STAND WITH ZERO KIRYU, EVERYONE ELSE IN THE SHOW OR SERIES CAN FUCKING PERISH. HIS VAMPIRE SLAYING FAMILY WAS MURDERED BY A VAMPIRE. HATES VAMPIRES. WANTS THEM DEAD. VALID. VALID BOY. HE WAS TURNED INTO A VAMPIRE BY A PUREBLOOD VAMPIRE AND HE HAS TO DRINK BLOOD AND HE HATES IT. HAS A LOT OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND PTSD AND ANGER AND FEAR BECAUSE HIS FAMILY WAS MURDERED. BY A VAMPIRE. AND HE WILL END UP BECOMING A MINDLESS VAMPIRE. AND NOW HE’S FORCED TO PROTECT VAMPIRES. LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL HIMSELF OR WANTS TO DIE BEFORE THAT HAPPENS. HE HAS A VALID SOFT SPOT FOR YUKI BECAUSE THEY GREW UP TOGETHER AND SHE WAS HIS FIRST AND ONLY TRUE FRIEND AFTER HIS FAMILY WAS MURDERED. BY VAMPIRES. WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT THE HEADMASTER IS A FUCKING DICK. DOESN’T DESERVE TO BE IN THIS SHITTY ANIME. 

Kaname Kuran: A gross incestuous CREEP. HE NASTY. MANIPULATIVE CREEP. THIS IS BASICALLY ME EVERYTIME HE’S ONSCREEN.  HE’S A PUREBLOODED VAMPIRE????WHICH MEANS HE’S TOP OF THE CHARTs?? AND OP I GUESS??/ A MJAOR DOUCHEBAG- ALSO KNOWS THAT ZERO’S FAMILY WAS SLAUGHTERED BY A PUREBLOOD VAMPIRE AND KNOWS ZERO WILL BECOME A VAMPIRE AND STILL TAUNTS HIM ABOUT HOW HE’S BECOMING A BLOODTHIRSTY BEAST AND EVEN ALLOWS THE VAMPIRE THAT KILLED ZERO’S FAMILY TO COME WRECK HAVOC AT THE ACADEMY WHEN HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE KEEPING PEACE. CREEPS ON YUKI LITERALLY ALL THE TIME SINCE SHE WAS A KID. ALL THE OTHER VAMPS WOULD LITERALLY JUMP HIS BONES IF HE ASKED BUT DECIDES TO CREEP ON HIS SISTER INSTEAD. LITERALLY HAS BEEN THE ONE KEEPING HER IN THE DARK ABOUT HER PAST THE WHOLE TIME, 

The concept in greater detail: 

The Headmaster, Yuki’s adopted father, Kaen Cross, wants Vampires and Humans to get along. 

Apparently, in this world, Humans and Vampires are separate races, and vampires can make vampire babies, but they also can still turn humans into vampires, and the Vampire babies can still grow and mature??? And be teenagers, except Kaname but we’ll get to him in a minute. Anyway, so since his school has both humans and vampires, he enlists his own children, Yuki, and Zero, his other adopted child, WHO’S FAMILY WAS MURDERED BY VAMPIRES, to keep the humans separate from the vampires, because the humans are stupid and don’t know that the night class(Vampire Class) are in fact, vampires. And on top of that, both Zero and Yuki have to attend Day classes, and then patrol the nights to protect the humans, so they literally get no sleep whatsoever and wow, Child labor and Negligence. Let these kids sleep goddamn

Season 1 in a nutshell:

Okay, Season 1 basically sets up the story and characters and background in a really slow weird pace, like usually in the first episode of an anime you’d set up with short descriptions of the main characters and then later on delve into their aspects and motivations, they barely do that here and also you get the context of the plot in the first couple of episodes, this takes like half the season to fully unleash all the characters and background which makes it easily forgettable, like I just watched it and I’m still like- why is this a thing- oh- oh okay- uh huh- weird? not gonna explain until 10 episodes later? okay. 

Also I shit you not, once they finally get into Zero’s background and backstory more, the vampire that killed Zero’s family, turned him into a vampire and kidnapped his twin brother which I guess is now a thing??????? is back with his twin brother, who ‘always secretly hated’ Zero and always wanted him and their family dead’ and not only does the Headmaster get weird senses about her infiltrating the school as a student, but FUCKING Kaname knows RIGHT OFF THE BAT, WHO THE FUCK SHE IS, WHAT THE FUCK SHE DID, AND LETS HER FUCK AROUND WITH ZERO UNTIL KANAME KILLS HER, STEALS HER POWERS AND THEN PINS HER MURDER ON ZERO. THUS LEAVING ZERO AS A SCAPEGOAT FOR THE WEIRD TWILIGHT? VAMPIRE? ASSOCIATION? TO GET PISSED AT AND TRY TO KILL BECAUSE SHE WAS A ‘PURE VAMPIRE’  AND EVEN YUKI’S LIKE- ‘SAY HE DIDN’T DO IT KANAME’ AND KANAME GIVES HER THIS LOOK THAT’S LIKE ‘I KNOW HE DIDN’T CAUSE I DID BUT I’M NOT GONNA SAY IT BC I’M STILL CREEPING ON YOU’ 

AND ZERO’S THIS CLOSE TO LITERALLY LOSING HIS MIND AND KANAME REALIZING THAT ZERO’S THE ONE THAT’S BEEN PROTECTING ‘HIS PRECIOUS YUKI’ THIS WHOLE TIME, DECIDES TO FORCE HIM TO DRINK HIS OWN BLOOD TO KEEP HIM FROM BECOMING A COMPLETE MONSTER. 

Also let’s talk about Zero’s convenient, cliche and weird twin brother Ichiru.

Okay, for Ichiru, he’s kind of...all over the place. But I’ll try to condense it down. 

Remember how I said Vic Mignona being Zero’s voice actor helped make this show bearable? Well, they used Vic AGAIN for Ichiru, because??? he’s??/ his twin??? i guess??? Listen, Not every set of identical twins are going to have the same voice too??? and it’s really??? kind of like- kills what Vic has going for Zero. Take for instance, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin from Ouran High School Host Club

There’s enough difference to tell them apart as people but same enough that they sound related instead of sounding like weird clones. 

Now listen to this clip from VK dubbed

It sounds like Zero is just talking to himself in the mirror. He does do Ichiru’s voice a little lighter and Zero’s heavier, but there’s barely any distinction and it’s just ugh. Using him as both Zero and Ichiru is just lazy.

So, Ichiru hated Zero and their family because he was born weak and easily to fall to illness within a family of vampire killers so he felt that they hated him because of it, and that wasn’t the case at all, and was the one to lead the pureblood vampire to his home to slaughter his family, then left with her to become stronger by being her servant and drinking her blood. But she won’t drink his bc he’s too obedient and likes Zero more because Zero fights her will with everything he has. And Ichiru is a jealous lil bitch because I guess Zero gets all the attention even though he really doesn’t/ doesn’t want it and thinks it’s Zero’s fault that his life is this way. 

Season 2 in a nutshell:

Things are FINALLY getting revealed. So, the reason Yuki was brought to the headmaster was that her parents (WHO WERE ALSO SIBLINGS WHO DECIDED TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS BC PUREBLOODS GR O SS) WERE KILLED BY THEIR EVIL OLDER BROTHER WHO WAS COMING FOR YUKI AND SO KANAME BEING HER ELDER BROTHER STOPPED HIM, AND BROUGHT YUKI TO THE HEADMASTER SO THAT SHE COULD LIVE NORMALLY AS A HUMAN UNTIL SHE WAS FRESHLY COOKED ENOUGH TO BECOME HIS GROSS BRIDE/LOVER/WIFE AND LIVE AS A PUREBLOOD VAMP AGAIN, AND YUKI IS TOTALLY INTO IT???? AND SHE SAYS SHIT LIKE “IT’S SO FUNNY THAT I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER THIS WHOLE TIME.’ AND KANAME’S LIKE ‘WHY IS IT FUNNY? WE’RE PUREBLOOD ARISTOCRATS AND IT’S NOT LIKE WE’RE HUMANS LOLOL’ LIKE NO- N O THAT STILL DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY. 

Also the headmaster was vampire hunter previously and killed a ton of them before was like ‘lol this ain’t the life for me anymore’ which. I can get. I really can. But also, can you just not. “I stopped being a vampire hunter bc I thought that’d be like rejected Yuki and Zero” 

Also now that Yuki is revealed and unsealed as a pure blood vampire all the other vampires are worshiping her like they do Kaname and it’s weird as hell.

Kaname is also manipulating her again, saying that when she wants to protect something she cares about it hurts him. 

also i guess kaname also has been using zero the entire time to make him the strongest vampire hunter in the world and is going to send him to kill the vampire that killed kaname & yuki’s parents and who is also now after Yuki because he wants to eat her and sap her power i guess.

i hate this show so much

but I still love ze-

AND ZERO JUST GOT FUCKING SHOT IN THE HEART BY HIS GODDAMN TWIN GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

APPARENTLY ICHIRU WAS SO WEAK WAS BC ZERO TOOK SOME OF HIS BROTHER’S POWER WHEN THEY WERE IN THEIR MUM’S WOMB LIKE THAT’S??? NOT HIS FAULT??? W H Y ARE YOU DOING THIS??? AND ZERO LEARNING THIS- JUST WANTS HIS BROTHER TO BE HAPPY- 

BUT LIKE THAT STILL ENDED WITH HIS BROTHER KILLING HIS FAMILY. 

AND THEN HIS BROTHER WITH HIS FINAL WISH AS HE LAY DYING IN ZERO’S ARMS, FROM TRYING TO KILL THE BIG BAD GUY AND GETTING HIS ASS WHOOPED TELLS HIM TO DRINK HIS BLOOD SO HE CAN GET HIS FULL VAMP HUNTER POWERS AND CONTINUE TO LIVE

And Zero does it. Because he wants to protect the only friend he’s had. God, Zero is so fucking valid. 

Headmaster actually throwing his lazy ass into the fight to protect Yuki and the academy is the arc reversal of the century. 

also Yuki being able to wield her Vampire hunter weapon despite being a vamp with just her willpower makes no goddamn sense. Power of friendship my ass.

ALSO THE BAD GUY IS SUCH A CREEP. LIKE CREEPS RUN IN THE FAMILY. KANAME AND THE CREEPY ASS UNCLE RITO

ZERO!!!!!

.”TIME FOR CURTAINS TO DRAW ON OUR VAMPIRE NIGHT” 

Roll Credits.

So, all in all, the show ends with Kaname fighting creepy uncle until Zero is the one to kill him, and then as another slap in the face, Yuki leaves the academy with her disgusting love interest grooming brother after drinking Zero’s blood one last time to prove she is actually a vampire. Proving that the only ‘friend’ that he genuinely cared about all this time is gone, and that the next time they meet, he will be forced to kill her as his role as a Vampire hunter. And it ends with Yuki looking forward to that day??????

I. hate. this series. 

I HATE IT SO MUCH. 

It has interesting ideas, and it got popular the time vampires were megahuge, but it’s just utterly disgusting and disappointing. I only liked ONE character. ONE. And he’s the one who gets fucked over the most. 

It’s cliche. And Gross. And just. I braced myself for some bad anime but I had no goddamn idea how bad it actually is. 

If you like it, then you do you my dude. I just can’t. This series? scarred me for life? I would rather eat an old moldy sock than sit and watch this again.